#trust and security and honesty

[confusedraven1]

i absolutely love that jim is the one to keep the heart of stede’s crew alive while ed did everything he could to destroy it.

one of the first comments ed makes to stede’s crew in season 1 is “everyone’s covered in rope!” so what does jim do? literally covers themself in rope, to remind ed that, as long as they’re alive, that hope and love isn’t going anywhere.

not only that, but, in the bible, rope is a symbolism for trust and security. jim became a secure place for the crew to tie themselves to while just trying to stay alive.

of course, i then had to look into why they have a fishing net around their shoulders as well, and found The Fishing Net Parable from the Book of Matthew (13:47-52):

"Once again, the kingdom of heaven is like a net that was let down into the lake and caught all kinds of fish. When it was full, the fishermen pulled it up on the shore. Then they sat down and collected the good fish in baskets, but threw the bad away.”

“This is how it will be at the end of the age. The angels will come and separate the wicked from the righteous and throw them into the fiery furnace, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.”

jim amputates izzy’s leg, despite having never done it before. they quite literally separate him from the rotten bits to save his life.

jim says, “he was your friend.” they separate ed from who he was before from who he’s allowed himself to become, not to punish him, but to remind him of the consequences of his actions.

jim tells izzy point blank, “you’re in an unhealthy relationship with blackbeard.” they aren’t trying to break them up; they’re just bringing to light whats true so things can (hopefully) get better.

jim shows archie that, just because pirating is normally done a certain way, doesn’t mean it has to—they separate archie from the toxic belief that “that’s just how things are, it’s just life,” and “why save him if he’s a dick?”

jim tries to separate the idea from the crew that ed is fine, because they immediately recognize that things are about to get much worse: “so, do we think he’s better?” “FUCK no!”

jim immediately says, “wasn’t the wedding thing a bit over the line?” they know they’re all pirates and have questionable morals anyway, but knows it was fucked up of them to massacre a wedding, an event that’s supposed to be joyful and full of life and beginnings, not death and destruction. they’re, again, dividing up the way things are vs. how they could (and should) be.

ed tries to pin them all dying on jim cause they wouldn’t kill archie, but they bite back with, “you would’ve done it anyway!” they know exactly where the lies are, and separates them from the truth, and ed can’t deny it.

jim separates themself (and olu) from the bounds of monogamy through their honesty. olu is still their best friend and lover and family even though they found and did things with someone else.

jim holds out their hand for olu to take when they’re escaping the red flag. olu’s interest in zheng yi sao isn’t bad and jim’s not trying to separate them, but is trying to keep together the things that are good: their family.

(later addition, edit) jim is also the one that “kills” ed. they’re the one to make that final choice, to say, “it’s you or us.” jim’s actions and choices entire first two episodes led them to that moment, like it was the “final judgment” of blackbeard.

jim is the rope and net of the crew. they’re trust and security and honesty, everything that stede was trying to get the crew to understand from day 1, everything stede is always trying to embody (and i dare say is starting to succeed at).

[familythings]

How Parenting Style Influences Children's Honesty

A child’s first lie can be a significant moment in their growth, signaling a movement towards independent thought. Though these early “white lies” may bring a smile to parents’ faces, they can also cause concern if dishonesty develops into a habit or arises in unsuitable situations. It’s important to recognize what these behaviors represent, as doing so can help nurture open communication and…

[joitotheworldstuff]

The Importance of Trust and Honesty in Relationships

Trust and honesty are the foundation of any healthy relationship, whether it be romantic, familial, or platonic. Without them, relationships become fragile and prone to misunderstandings, conflicts, and even breakups. Let’s explore why trust is fundamental in relationships and how to maintain it over time. Type your email… Subscribe Why Trust is Fundamental in a Relationship 1. Builds a…

[solastarr]

Both Ain’t Shit- Smoke vers.

Smoke Moore x Black Reader

Genre: Smut with plot

Word count: 6.2k+

Summary: You and Smoke have been having a little fling for a while now. But Smoke pushes you too far. And now it’s time to show him you can play the game just as well as him, and remind him who he’s dealing with.

Warnings: cheating if you squint, p in v, fem receiving oral, use of n word, banter, and cussing

Authors notes: i’m so sorry for making yall wait so long for this. This was very long so i think my next few pieces will be short. I have a lot more ideas to come tho! Enjoy!!

He is not my man.

I mean, yeah he be at my place more than his own. He got a designated space in my closet for his clothes, he sometimes gets packages sent to my address, and my neighbors think he’s my husband…

But Elijah Moore is not my man.

And I wasn’t his woman neither.

Or at least that's what we tell everyone…

Me and Smoke wasn’t nothing but a good time to each other at first. The risky nights, flirty texts, and playing house was fun and all at first. But then I fell too deep into our fake fantasy. 

Smoke has everything I want in a man–drive, ambition, quite confidence and he gave me sex that made me forget my own name. Everything I dreamed of, but he didn’t give me the security, honesty, and title of the relationship I wanted. 

I used to care, I used to ask, I used to cry about the women that approached us in public like I was some homewrecker, the days when he would leave and not talk to me, the late nights where he would up and go handle “business” without putting on proper clothes or packing his work bag. And I say this with my chest because I will never again fall for his games. 

He use to gaslight me so well I thought I was going crazy and made up the entire thing. And I tried to leave, put the mess of a relationship behind me but Smoke can make you feel like you the only one, even when you know for a fact you’re not. 

And I always knew, I always knew.

Between the late replies, dirty stares from women I don’t know in shops giving me dirty stares, and the way his phone magically stayed face down every time he came over.

I’d have to be stupid to not know. 

But now?

I play it cool. Smile in his face, moan in his ear, and act like I’m not being used. Because I know I can run game too. He wants to be a player? Bet you I can play dirty too if not dirtier.

Because even when he’s out chasing whatever new girl that caught his eye, he still ends up in my bed. He might go ghost for a day or two, but he always shows back up with that same sorry ass smirk like he ain’t been doing me wrong. But I know I mean something to him because I’m the one he slips up and calls when he’s drunk, the one he trusts with his silence, his stress, his secrets. I’m not stupid—I know I’m not the only one he touches, but I’m the only one that sees Elijah Moore. They might get Smoke, but I get both. And maybe that makes me just as dumb as them, but at least I’m the one he always runs back to. Even if he pretends like he’s just passing through.

 I don’t return the energy to the same extent—not 'cause I’m loyal, but 'cause none of them other dudes make me feel what Smoke do. They don’t got that pull on me. They don’t got that calm but dangerous aura that make your knees weak and pride nonexistent. And I hate that. I hate that I crave the same man that got me second-guessing my worth, but still got the power to fuck me like I’m the only woman in the world. They couldn’t handle me anyway—not like he can. So I let him think he winning… while I lose my damn mind behind closed doors.

But tonight he did something that was a new low.

I should have know something was off when he showed up to my door with flowers.  

Smoke ain’t ever gave me no fucking flowers. He do give orgasms and headaches. He do “You good?” texts at 2 in the morning. But flowers. Roses? Never .But there he was—standing in the doorway like a fever dream—holding roses like that alone could undo months of hurt. They were fresh too, like he’d actually cared enough to stop and pick the best ones for me. The red looked loud against the cool evening light, too loud for a man who whispered lies in a voice so calm it sounded like love.

That was guilt wrapped in a heart shaped box. With a weak ass smirk. 

“What’s this for?” I asked, leaning against the doorframe of my front door with my arms crossed. Staring at him with confusion and surprise in my voice.

He smirked. “ I can’t do something nice for you?” He says dressed in his typical grey suit with a blue tie, with a caring but deceitful look in his eyes.

He walked past me like he owned the place– even though some days he practically lived here. He dropped the roses in the middle of my dining room table like they meant something to me and then found his way back to me by sliding his arm around my waist. I let him. I always let him. Because I deserve some fun out of this too. 

The night started like our normal routine. Dinner. Jokes. Laying in his chest while telling him about my day. He even started talking to me about how he wants to take me on a getaway trip so he can show me the world. Which should have been red flag number two. But again I just wanted to get the most out of him being with me.

The third flag was what got me though. 

I was looking for one of my heels that I had recently broken on accident in hopes I could get a little money out of him for all the problems that come with him. But while I was looking I saw a little velvet box tucked in the bag he packed to spend the night. 

At first, my heart jumped–thinking that maybe something came over him and knocked him into his senses to commit to me. Thinking maybe it was a promise ring or something stupid like that.

But as I got closer I realized how familiar the box looked. When me and Smoke started messing around he gave me a gold anklet as a little keep me in mind gift. And I still wear it to this day because you cant see it under my clothes in public, it makes him pound me into the mattress when he sees while we fucking, and because I thought it was a genuine gift he was giving me because he cared.(you’re a dummy bitch)

Out of curiosity I kneeled down checking my surroundings to make sure he wasn’t about to come help me look for whatever I came in my room for. I opened the box to see the exact anklet that was on my leg. The box has a note attached to it that read, 

“To J.”

“J… Who the fuck is J?” I thought to myself. My blood immediately started to boil. Vision blurring. But I collected myself to steady my hands as I closed the box and zipped his bag right back up with a smirk on my face. This was my green light to start fucking with him.

I walked back into the living room. I didn’t ask no questions. Didn’t start a fight. Didn’t even make a petty remark. I gave him one more night, one last kiss, and last moan. Letting him think everything was sweet. Made it real good too, gave him my all.

Because tomorrow?

I’m getting my lick back.

Next day 

I woke up like I knew nothing.

Played the same role—sweet, soft, and familiar. I kissed him good morning, made him breakfast, even ironed the shirt he accidentally wrinkled from throwing it in his bag.

He was still in bed by the time I was done, shirtless in only his underwear, stretching like he ain’t just spent the whole night with his tongue in me. The sun crept in through the blinds, laying golden ribbons across his broad muscular back. He looked good—too damn good for someone who didn’t deserve me.

I walked past the bedroom doorway with my coffee in hand, making sure to get all his shit together so he could be on his way. I looked like a woman coming down from a long night—curls falling messily from the makeshift bun, nightgown straps slipping off my shoulders from running round the house. But the second I heard his voice, I paused.

“Damn, you just gon’ walk past me like that?” he mumbled, voice thick with sleep and fake concern.

“Didn’t know you were still here,” I replied over my shoulder, taking a slow sip from my mug. “Usually you’d be gone by now.”

He chuckled, that lazy one he does when he thinks he’s charming.

“That how we acting today?”

I kept moving, gathering his keys, wallet, phone charger—placing everything neatly by the door.

“I made breakfast. Even ironed your shirt. What else you want?”

“I thought maybe we could chill for a second.”

I glanced over at him, leaving my bed, half-dressed and stretching. Taking his sweet time like he ain’t planning to meet another girl in a few hours. “I’ve got stuff to do. You got places to be and people to see, don’t you?” I tilt my head, all sweet like honey over broken glass.

He raised an eyebrow, trying to read me.

“You good? I just wanted to make sure my girl was alright after last night.” He grinned—half pervert, half innocent—as if the memory of his mouth on me gave him the right to ask.

“I’m great,” I said with a smile that didn’t reach my eyes. “Got what I needed, didn’t I?”

He laughed, low and amused like he thought I was playing. But I wasn’t.

I brushed past him, slow enough to feel his heat, fast enough to pretend it didn’t burn. Before I left the room, I paused.

“Your shirt’s on the couch, still warm. Coffee on the counter, take it to go.”

I walked toward the hallway mirror, pretending to fix a loose curl, but really, I was watching him through the reflection. Watching him fake like he wasn’t confused.

He moved slow, dragging himself out into the hall, “Damn, you rushing me out?”

I turned, still calm. “Not rushing,” I shrugged. “Just... reminding you that you do have somewhere else to be. I mean, don’t you have brunch plans? I know I’m not the only per—I mean, thing you tend to in your day-to-day.” I offered a soft, fake smile

He smirked. “Why you always doin’ that?” he asked, pulling his shirt over his head, voice dipped in charm and guilt like he didn’t know where he stood.

I turned back to the mirror. “Doing what?”

He walked into the hallway like he owned it—coffee in one hand, confusion in the other. “Throwing lil’ jabs like I ain’t been here every night this week.”

I tilted my head, slow. “And yet somehow, still not doing right.”

That shut him up for a second.

“If you got something to say—”

I cut him off with a soft laugh, eyes still on my reflection. “I don’t. Nothing to say. Nothing new, anyway.”

I walked to the door, held it open like a polite hostess.

“I don’t want to stand between you and your business. They seem to be getting impatient.” I nodded toward his phone lighting up again with a text he didn’t bother hiding.

He looked at it, then back at me. “You really on one today, huh?”

I shrugged. “Not really. Just on schedule.”

He stepped onto the porch, shirt tugged, ego bruised, still confused

“You good though?” he asked again, this time softer. Smaller.

I leaned against the doorframe, cool and casual. 

“Always,” I said.

And then I slammed the door in his face.

Later that day

The silence in the apartment after he left was thick. Like the walls were holding their breath, waiting for me to fall apart.

But I didn’t.

Instead, I ran a hot shower, scrubbed him off my skin, and let the steam cleanse every trace of him from my pores. Then I pulled open my closet and picked the one dress I knew would make someone stare too long and think too hard.

It was satin—deep red, the kind of red that doesn’t beg for attention but demands it. It clung in all the right places and slid over my thighs like water. I slipped on gold hoops, sprayed the perfume he used to compliment before he stopped noticing, and glossed my lips.

I needed to get back at Elijah in a way that would make his blood boil. Elijah used to have a friend named Darius that always showed me a little too much attention when me and Elijah would run into him. Compliments that were too attentive, gifts too expensive, and hugs that were intended to be more than friendly. 

Elijah hated it. Hated him.

Then my phone lit up:

Darius: I’m outside.

I smiled to myself, grabbed my bag, and walked to the door with the same grin smoke gives when he’s fucked me over. 

We walked into Club Eden like we’d done it before. Darius had one hand on the small of my back, the other in his pocket, grinning like we go together. I kept my chin high, every step deliberate, the red satin of my dress catching the lights just right. Heads turned, we looked good, and I knew it. But I wasn’t here for the stares. I was searching for one face in the crowd. Just smiling, slow and sweet, as Darius guided me deeper inside the club I knew too well.

Smoke wasn’t hard to spot.

Even in the low-lit haze of Club Eden, he stood out like sin dressed in success. Black slacks tailored to perfection, button-up open just enough to show that gold chain he never took off, and a gold watch to match catching flashes of light as he leaned back, calm and calculating.

And he wasn’t alone.

She sat next to him, legs crossed, laughing because she didn’t know about our twinning anklets. It shimmered around her ankle like a middle finger straight to my face.

I didn’t react. Couldn’t give him the satisfaction.

Instead, I leaned back against Darius, legs draped over his lap like it was second nature. I smiled, slow and sweet, twirling my straw in my drink as if I wasn’t locked in a silent war with the man across the room.

Smoke’s eyes met mine—dark, unreadable, but I knew that look. His jaw was clenched. His tongue pressed to the inside of his cheek. The girl next to him leaned in to whisper something, and he didn’t flinch, didn’t move. Just kept his gaze on me like I had his whole night wrapped around my finger.

Good.

I tilted my head, let my curls fall over one shoulder, and whispered something in Darius’s ear. Didn’t matter what, I just needed to see Smoke look at me.

He did and I knew I had him right where I wanted him.

“Wanna dance?” I asked Darius, my voice soft but just loud enough. He grinned like he’d been waiting for the invite. “You know I do.”

The second I stood, I felt Elijah’s stare follow every step I took. I didn’t look back. Just led Darius to the dance floor like we owned it. The bass hit heavy, the colorful led lights spun soft, and I let my body move—slow, effortless, sensual. Darius tried to keep up, hands respectful but curious. I didn’t care. I wasn’t dancing with him for him. I was dancing for the man sitting in the corner pretending he didn’t care.

Elijah didn’t move. Didn’t blink. But when I twirled to catch his gaze again—he was gone.

Just like that.

I smirked, satisfied, even as my chest tightened.

“I’ll be right back,” I told Darius, brushing a kiss on his cheek before slipping toward the restroom.

The bathroom was cool and quiet. I touched up my lip gloss, adjusted my dress, and took a deep breath. The game was fun, but it was stressful. And I was starting to feel the heat of it rise to my skin.

I opened the door, and there he was.

Smoke.

Leaning against the wall like. His arms were crossed. His shirt sleeves rolled up just enough to show the tattoos on his forearms, jaw tight, eyes darker than I remembered.

I blinked. “You lost?”

He didn’t smile. “Was about to ask you the same thing.”

I crossed my arms, mirroring him. “Bathroom’s not your usual hangout, is it?”

“I saw you dancing,” he said, voice low and clipped. “Looked like you were real comfortable.”

“Why wouldn’t I be? Darius is sweet,” I said, letting the name linger to make sure it burns.

His jaw flexed. “He’s a clown.”

“He’s not you,” I shrugged. “That’s kind of the point.”I look at him with amusement because I know i’m getting under his skin.

“You really brought him here?” he asked, stepping closer. “To my spot?”

“Oh, my bad,” I said with mock concern. “Didn’t realize I needed permission to come to the club. Should I check in next time?”

His tongue dragged across his teeth like he was trying not to snap. “You knew I’d be here.”

I tilted my head. “Did I?”

He scoffed, stepping in just close enough that I could smell his cologne. “You doing all this for what? Huh? To make me jealous?”

I smiled. “Ain’t nobody checkin for you Smoke?”

His hand came up, not touching me—just hovering near my waist like muscle memory. As he towered looking down at me,  “You think I care about Darius? You think I give a fuck about that lame ass nigga?” 

I leaned in, just a breath from his lips. “Well… he was talking real good about having dessert back at my place. So maybe I will leave your “spot”.”I give him a menacing grin.

His whole body tensed.

“You lyin’,” he said, but his voice cracked just enough to expose the panic under the rage.

I laughed. “Am I?”

I stared up at him, not moving. “See, I think you care more than you wanna admit. But I think you should head back to your little date. I wouldn’t want her ankles to get sore waiting on you.”

He flinched. Just a flicker. But I saw it.

“Keep playin’ with me,” he warned, voice almost a whisper. “You forget, I know how to handle you.”

I laughed, low and bitter. “Yeah? If that’s what you want to call your lame ass stroke game.”

His mouth opened—but I started to walk away before he could respond. Because I was definitely lying about his stroke game unfortunately.

“Have fun tonight, Elijah,” I said, brushing past him, the scent of my perfume trailing between us like a dare.

And then I walked away—hips swaying, heels clicking, heart pounding—but head held high.

As the night continued I still felt the heat of Smoke and his date that hes not paying any attention to anymore on me. I continued to dance, flirt, and laugh with Darious to prove that I can play game too. I even let Darious’s hands explore my body a little. Rub my thighs, grip my ass a little while dancing, let his hands run up and down my curves. By the time the lights came on in the club and all the drunks were scrambling out to their rides. I let Darious drive me home. 

The car ride was actually nice. The moon was bright and full, soft R&B music was playing, and the conversation we had was amazing. Darious is a really sweet guy, but I know it would be wrong to drag him into me and Smoke’s mess. Plus I don’t want smoke to kill him…

We made it to my apartment and I knew I wouldn’t have much time until Smoke showed up at my door to interrogate me. Darious wanted to come up, but I knew if he did someone would end up in jail. So I said my goodbyes to Darious and promised him another night out soon as I walked back into my apartment. 

As soon as I walked through the door I took a quick shower, changed into a silk blue night gown with white lace trimming, fluffed my curls, removed my make up and prepped my skin for whatever is going to happen in the next few hours. Lastly I got myself a glass of wine and sat on my couch and read a book as I waited for him. I didn’t know what I was going to say, but I needed to be ready nonetheless.

Not even twenty minutes late I hear a loud banging at my door. Three quick, violent knocks. Like the wood itself owed him an answer. I didn’t rush.

I took my time taking a last sip of wine, stood slowly, let my silk nightgown cling to my hips like it was made to tease. I walked barefoot to the door, cool and collected, like I hadn’t been waiting on this exact moment since I walked out of that damn club.

I opened the door just enough so he could see me. And there he was leaning against the door frame using one of arms for leverage.

Pupils dilated with nothing but anger. Jaw tight. Other hand clenched at his sides trying to contain himself.

“Where that nigga at?”

I blinked. “Excuse me?”

“Don’t play with me,” he snarled, stepping inside like this was his home. His head was on a swivel. “You let him fuck you?”

I shut the door. Walked right past his rage and sat on the edge of the couch, crossing my legs with purpose.

“Hello to you too Elijah, come one in?” I stated.

“Answer the question,” he snapped.

I smiled, slow and dangerous. “I don’t have to do shit.”

Smoke stepped closer, his whole body on fire with fury.

“You wasn’t gon’ fuck him.”He looked at me like he was challenging me to give him the wrong answer to send him over the edge. 

“Wanna bet?” I raise an eyebrow and give a deceitful smirk.

He snatched the glass from my hand, set it down with a rough thunk, and stepped between my knees. Boiling with anger waiting for me to say the wrong thing to make him explode.

“Say that shit again.”

I looked up at him, lips parted just slightly.

“I was gon’ let him taste every inch of me… then let him sleep right where you do.”

His hand wrapped around my throat in a flash—tight, hot, possessive.

“You gon’ let another man lay where I sleep?” he growled.

I smiled, the tension around my neck turning me on, breath hitching. “I was gon’ let him do more than that.”

He paused. That’s when I stood up. No fear. Just slow, deliberate grace as I walked past him and down the hall.

“You can keep lookin’ for him if you want,” I said over my shoulder, “but if you was really scared I let that man touch me, you’d be too late. He left already.”

I didn’t wait to see if he followed. I went straight to my bedroom, sat at the vanity, touched up my lip gloss with calm hands. Behind me, I heard heavy footsteps pause in the doorway.

His eyes were all over the room. Searching. Burning.

“You think this shit cute?” he asked, voice gravel-thick. His eyes looked me up and down almost in disgust and jealousy.

I met his gaze in the mirror. “No. I think it’s fair.”

He stepped inside, slower now. Confused. Angry. Hurt. “What the fuck mean by that?”

I turned on the stool and faced him, legs crossed again. My night gown starting to rise a bit up my thighs.

“It means I’ve been waiting on you to choose me, Elijah. Or at least grow a pair and tell me that this bullshit we got going on isn’t going nowhere. But you’d rather keep me close, fuck me, then go back to pretending I don’t exist.”

His mouth opened, but nothing came out. His shoulders dropped like the weight of my words finally registered.

“I’ve given you space, time, silence. I’ve let you spin this thing however you wanted, and I stayed. Quiet. Loyal. Patient. But I’m done beggin’ a “grown-ass” man to act like one.”

Smoke’s jaw flexed. His hands were twitching at his sides like he didn’t know whether to grab me or punch a wall.

“So yeah,” I said softly. “I let him touch me. I let his hands roam a little. Not ‘cause I wanted him. But because I needed you to feel what it’s like to watch the person you believed was yours go play boyfriend to other bitches.”

Smoke’s jaw clenched hard enough to crack bone.

I watched him. Calm on the outside. Heart thudding like a war drum on the inside.

“You really was thinking of letting that nigga touch you?” His voice was low now. Dangerous. “He don’t even know what to do with you.”

I stood up slow, walked toward him like prey that didn’t fear the predator. “He may not know how to handle me,” I said, standing chest to chest. “But at least he acts like he wanted me.”

That landed. Hard. He blinked once—tight, sharp—like the words had cut straight through his ribcage. His hand gripped the back of my neck, and whispered against the shell of my ear.

“I ain’t act like I wanted you, huh? Was that before or after I fucked you outside that club becuase you was letting niggas grind on you and I had you cryin’ and creamin’ on my dick?”

My breath caught.

“Or when I had you bent over your own counter, sayin’ you was mine with a mouth full of my name? Because you like flirting with dudes in front of me. That's not ‘wantin’ you’ either?”

My knees pressed together tight.

“You sayin’ he acted like he wanted you…” he scoffed. “Cool. But did he make you cum in under five minutes on your bedroom floor? Did he eat you ‘til your voice broke because you was hitting up the dudes in your DM’s?”

“Shut up,” I breathed, voice shaking.

“Say it,” he taunted, eyes on fire now. “Tell me he could have touched you like I did. Tell me he could have made you forget your own fuckin’ name. When you go out half naked with your girls and come back with ten new numbers in your phone”

“I—” My chest rose and fell too fast. “He didn’t.”

Smoke’s gaze burned through me.

“I didn’t lose you,” he muttered, mostly to himself. “Even when you out here pretending like I’m the only one fucking up. You ain’t been right by me either.”

My mouth parted, but I didn’t respond.

“You mine,” he said. “Still mine.”

He stepped forward as I kept moving back, until the backs of my knees hit the bed. Still, he hadn’t laid a single hand on me—but I could feel every word on my skin.

“Say it.”

“Say what?”, I give him a confused but intrigued look. 

“You know what the fuck I’m askin’, ma.”

My mouth opened, but he didn’t wait.

He dropped to his knees and pushed me back on to the bed.

“I should make you beg,” he growled. “After that bullshit you pulled tonight.”

“But I missed this pussy…” he muttered, shoving me back onto the bed, hands pushing my nightgown up slow.

He paused. Smirked. “No panties?”

I smiled, real smug. “Why wear ‘em when I knew you was gonna end up on your knees anyway?”

His eyes darkened. Jaw clenched.

Then his mouth was on my clit immediately. Hot, angry, wild.

He licked me like he was punishing me, tongue stiff and fast, nose buried deep like he needed every drop. He groaned when I whimpered. Flattened his tongue against my clit, then flicked it until my hips jerked.

“Say who it belongs to,” he growled against me.

I gasped. “Fuck—”

He sucked my clit hard enough to pull the words out of me.

“Say it.”

“Fuck you Elija–”

He slapped the inside of my thigh. “Try again.” starting like and suck faster. 

I gave in, my climax was near and continued to build, “It’s yours! It’s your pussy!”

His eyes locked on mine, lips shiny and glistening with me. “Damn right.” He licked me slower now, dragging it out, two fingers slipping inside me, curling just right.

My back arched off the bed.

“Louder,” he whispered. “Let the whole fuckin’ building know who got you cryin’ like this.”I whimpered his name, high and cracked, as he tongue-fucked me like he needed it to breathe.

“Had me stressing bout you letting some other dude in here?” he muttered between licks. “In this pussy?”

“Wanted you to feel it,” I moaned. “Wanted you to know—what it felt like.”

“Never again,” he growled. “You mine. You hear me?”

“Then act like it,” I snapped, as I begin grinding against his face. “Act like I’m yours.” I say as I grab the back of his head to push him further in to me. 

He laughed low, filthy. “Oh I’m ‘bout to show you, baby.”

Then he dove back in, no mercy, dragging me through a climax so hard I shook, hands fisting the sheets, moaning his name like a prayer and a curse all in one.

My thighs were still shaking when he stood, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand like he’d just devoured something messy and rare.

He looked down at me—lips glistening, chest rising and falling, jaw tight with hunger.

“You talk too much,” he muttered.

“I was making a point.” I snap back, out of breath.

He grabbed my waist, flipped me over onto my stomach like I weighed nothing.

“Yeah?” His voice dropped. “Make it now.”

I didn’t have time to speak—he yanked my hips back, arching my ass high in the air, pressing my face down into the mattress with one heavy hand on the back of my neck.

“Say that shit again,” he hissed into my ear, breath hot. “Say how he acted like he wanted you.”

“Elijah—”

“Mm-mm.” He pressed harder on my neck, not enough to hurt, but enough to let me know who was in control. “You wanted Daddy’s attention?”

He lined himself up, thick and heavy against my soaked entrance. His other hand gripped my ass, spreading me open.

“Well, you got it now.”

And then—he thrust inside me, deep and fast. No hesitation. No gentleness. Just raw, angry, need.

“Fuck!” I try to muffle my moan as I pushed my face into the mattress.

“Nah, don’t get shy now,” he growled, snapping his hips against me again, again. “You was runnin’ your mouth a minute ago. Where all that shit talk go?”

The slapping of skin echoed through the room, loud and wet. His hips slammed into mine, balls smacking against my clit with each brutal stroke. The bedframe creaked under the force, the mattress giving under the weight of his big, muscular body.

Smoke’s build was all lean muscle and hard edges—wide back, thick arms caging me in as he pounded into me from behind, I could feel the tension radiating off him.

“You wanted to make me jealous? You wanted me mad?” he breathed, chest pressing into my back. “Well, now you got me.”

He drove deeper, grunting, hips rolling in filthy rhythm. “This what you wanted, huh? Daddy stretchin’ you out like this? Say it.”

I whimpered, arching into him, my ass bouncing back against his thrusts.

“Say it.”

“It’s what I wanted,” I moaned into the pillow. “I wanted you—fuck—I needed you.”

He leaned in closer, biting the curve of my shoulder.

“You mine, baby. You don’t gotta play games for me to see you. You all I ever see.”

He fucked me harder then, no mercy. My pussy clenching around him, trying to keep him in with every stroke.

“Look at this pussy suckin’ me in,” he growled, voice thick with possessiveness. “You act up just to get it like this, don’t you?”

His palm came down on my ass, the sting making me cry out.

“You love it when I fuck you back into your place, huh?.”

I could barely respond, the way he was hitting made my thoughts scatter like dust. All I could do was moan and take it.

“You gon’ behave now?” he asked, yanking my hair so I lifted my face off the pillow. “Or you need another round?”

“Give it to me,” I panted. “I can take it.”

That did something to him. His next thrust knocked the wind outta me.

“You do all this talkin’, just to shut the fuck up when this dick in you. That’s your problem.”

The pace got even filthier—fast, relentless, dragging sounds out of both of us that had no place outside of a bedroom.

The air was thick with heat and sweat and desperation.

“Say you mine again,” he ordered, breath ragged. “Say it like you mean it.”

“I’m—fuck— i’m yours, Daddy.”

That sent him over. He slammed into me one last time, deep and hard, filling me up with a loud groan that vibrated against my spine.

I followed right after, walls pulsing around him, toes curling, throat raw from moaning his name.

We collapsed together, breathless and shaking, tangled in the mess we made.

He was still catching his breath, eyes fluttered shut, mouth open like he was trying to gather himself.

I sat there for a second, letting the weight of what just happened settle between us. Sweat slicked my skin, my curls wild and frizzy from all the grinding and grabbing and all that heat. My chest heaved. I watched his body twitch—sensitive, eyes closed, overwhelmed, but still so hard for me.

He didn’t even notice me move.

Until I straddled him again. Hovered over him, lined us up—

And slammed down on his dick.

“Shit—!” he yelped, eyes snapping open like I’d snatched his soul. “Wait—wait—baby—”

I bounce on him hard, grinning down at him like a beast that finally caught its prey.

“You good?” I asked sweetly, breathless.

He gasped barely able to make a sound. “Damn, girl—”

“Thought so.”

I started to move. Slow at first. Just enough to hit him right. His whole body tensed, trying to brace, but he couldn’t. He was too sensitive, and I was overriding his nerves.

“I’m tired of bullshit, Elijah. I want to settle down,” I reminded him, voice low, sultry, taunting. “You going to be better for me, baby?”

“I—I am,” he stammered, jaw tight. “I am, baby—I swear—”

I sped up.

That had him groaning, loud and full in his chest. His hands shot to my thighs, gripping, begging me to slow down—and I didn’t.

“You gon’ answer when I call?” I asked, breath hitching from how deep he was hitting. “No more games?”

“Yes! I got you, baby, just don’t—don’t stop—”

I moved faster.

“Say it again,” I demanded, hips rolling harder, rougher. “Louder.”

“I’m gon’ do right! I swear to God, I’m—fuck—”

He tried to hold my hips, tried to make it last, but he couldn’t keep up. He was shaking, whining, and I loved every second of it.

But so did I.

Every stroke had my moans cracking, turning breathy and sharp, like I was losing the same control I held over him. I started to tremble too, thighs quaking, chest heaving. He was hitting that spot, again and again—stretching me just right.

My hands landed on his chest to steady myself, nails digging in. “You better,” I gasped, voice splintering. “You better fucking do right by me.”

“I will—I swear—baby, please—”

I felt it creeping up on me—my legs tightening, the heat coiling in my belly. “Oh my God—Elijah—”

“Come for me,” he begged, hips bucking under me. “Let go, baby. I got you.”

That did it. I shattered around him with a loud, raw cry, my walls clenching hard, dragging his name out like a prayer. My body folded forward as I pulsed around him, riding every wave, every tremor, until my whole frame shook.

His voice broke under me, hands locking around my hips like he never wanted me to move again. “That’s it, baby… fuck, that’s it.”

Breathless, dazed, I slumped against his chest, heart pounding, sweat glistening on my skin.

“I’m sorry,” I moaned against his neck. “I know I ain’t been fair either.”

His hands slid up my back, holding me tighter.

“I ain’t mean to hurt you,” I whispered. “I just needed to feel wanted too.”

“You got me, ma,” he said hoarsely. “You been had me.”

“I don’t wanna fight no more,” I breathed. “But you gotta do better.”

“I will,” he promised, kissing the side of my face. “You got my word.”

We laid there tangled in silence, both of us wrecked and breathless

~ I hope you liked it! Also send me some asks if you have a request, question, or fic ideas!!

click here to send an ask!!

sola💫

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[g0ldenrav3n]

when I first read the last words Neil said to Andrew before being taken by Lola, I was completely swept off my feet like literally I was shocked. This phrase is still everything to me and I think it’s the most romantic and loving thought Neil has ever had:

"Thank you," he finally said. He couldn't say he meant thanks for all of it: the keys, the trust, the honesty, and the kisses. Hopefully Andrew would figure it out eventually. "You were amazing."

Like ?? Romance actually piqued here. Neil Josten invented romance. I can’t even know where to even start to unpack the immense fondness and gratitude you can see radiating from this simple “thank you”. He meant that from the bottom of his heart. The way he thinks that he couldn’t say thanks for all of it, so Andrew and the others basically thought at the start that he was thanking him for playing well that night and securing the win. But Neil is thanking Andrew for giving him keys (a home), trust (protection) , honesty (their game of truths and all the time Andrew comforted him with the phrase “you are a fox”), kisses (the love). Hopefully Andrew would figure it out and here guys you need to understand how much Neil sees Andrew as smart and capable of understanding every unspoken thing between them.

The final blow during this scene was the “you were amazing”. It’s still a slap in the face, it’s like Neil got out of the book and actually grabbed my heart out of my chest to stomp on it. Cause here Neil compliments him in front of everyone??? Idk if you understand how fundamental this moment was for Andrew. The way he says that he was amazing, and everyone around them might think omg he’s praising him for his performance and his skills at playing, but there’s so much MORE. He’s saying you were amazing for giving me keys, you were amazing for giving me trust, for giving me honesty, for giving me kisses, for teaching me how to hold and be held, (literally figuratively) but still nonetheless I’d say that you don’t need contact and touch as much as communication and understanding, like for someone like him that has never been tought how to love and how to care and how to give, with his hard life, with the abuse, the pain, the sting of memories, Andrew did amazing. He literally gave his heart and soul for him. Never mind that he lost him that night almost forever, he was amazing. Maybe that’s the first genuine and sincere compliment someone has ever given him.

[scoobywrites690]

Simons favourite Cam Girl pt2

As I’m writing this we are 100 followers away from 1k followers and I’m so excited! I’ve gotta think of what to do for a 1k special. If anyone has any ideas feel free to let me know. Also what do we think of the account revamp? This piece is so fucking long it’s like 2k words but I love it so much. Part one here

cw: blow job, toys, penetration, cream pie, pussy eating

Even though you earnt a living by exposing yourself to a live audience every night, doesn’t mean you actually know what you’re doing when it comes to having any form of sexual relations with a man. Yes, you’ve slept with a handful of men. But that’s it, so when you offered your favorite and most loyal viewer an offer, you weren’t actually expecting him to agree. 

Yet here you stand face to face with the man who’s supported you right from the beginning of your career. He’s not entirely what you expected, and in all honesty you were expecting some low life loser who lives in their parents basement, which you can now confirm is the complete opposite of the man that you now know as Simon. 

He’s absolutely massive compared to you, in every possible way. He towers over you, dwarfing your entire frame just by standing next to you. His arms are thick and fat with muscle to the point that he doesn’t even need to flex for you to be able to see them, his chest so broad and wide that you’d completely disappear if he stood in front of you.

You had never seen a man so big, which had you questioning if you were ready to take on a man of his size. But it’s too late to back out now. 

“Listen, there's something I need to make clear before we start.” You state, twiddling your thumbs as you find yourself intimidated at the man that stands before you. 

“Anything, doll.” He says, his voice thick and rough.

“I’ve only ever been with a couple of guys. So, I'm not actually a hundred percent sure on what to do.” You admit, looking up to meet his lingering gaze. Scanning his features for any shock or disappointment. As most people would expect a cam girl to have plenty of experience. 

“Don’t you worry, luv. I’ll guide ya.” He says, cupping your face with his giant hands. His hands are rough and hard against your cheeks.

“You sure you still wanna do this?” You ask.

“Of course, I’ve been dreaming of this day since I first discovered you.” He remarks, his voice filled with such joy and happiness that you could have sworn there was a twinkle in his eyes. 

“Okay then, I wasn’t sure if you’d want your face being shown. So I went and grabbed this.” You say as you fish out the mask you brought this morning. It’s not much just a skull mask that comes down over his nose, but it’ll hide any recognizable features if he wants them hidden.

“I didn’t think about that, thank you.” He says, taking the mask from your hand before securing it over his head making sure it’s nice and snug to avoid it slipping down. 

“Okay you ready?” You ask once the mask is secure. 

“Go ahead.” He says, taking a seat on the bed behind you as you start up the live. Your webcam flickers on as the view of yourself soon fills up your screen, it doesn’t take long before the live chat starts filling up with people all greeting you as they enter. 

“Hello everyone!” You exclaim, waving at the camera whilst flashing them a smile.

“I’ve got a little treat in store for you all tonight.” You remark as you watch the chat load comment after comment of people expressing their curiosity. Rolling your chair to the side a bit you reveal the hulking form of Simon sitting on the bed, looking every bit intimidating with his mask on. 

“I invited a very special viewer to join me today! He’s a long time subscriber and a trusted one at that, so I thought he deserved a reward for being so loyal.” You explain.

“I won't make you guys wait any longer though.” You state with a chuckle before making your way over to Simon, his hands reaching out to wrap around your waist the minute you are close enough. Dragging you towards him and hoisting you up into his lap your thighs on either side as you straddle the mammoth of a man. 

His lips meet yours, soft and warm as they press together before his tongue darts out to meet yours, in a sloppy tangled mess. Locking your arms around his neck, your fingers tugging on the short blonde hair at the nape of his neck as you slowly roll your hips grinding yourself against him. A growl like moan rubbles from inside Simon as his hands on your hips help to move you against him. 

“I feel like I’m gonna fuckin’ burst, doll.” He states pulling away from you, his eyes blown with lust as he rakes his eyes over your body. 

“Where’s that toy from last time?” He asks.

“In that box over there.” You state pointing towards the plastic box that sits in the corner. 

Lifting you up and placing you on the bed Simon heads towards the box, removing the lid in search of the fake cock from your previous live stream. It looks nowhere near as big in Simon’s hands compared to when it was in yours, making the struggle that you had using it seem ridiculous and maybe even fake. 

“Open wide for me, dollface. We gotta get you prepped.” He asks, standing in front of you.

“I-I um..I’m not actually very good at doing that.” You admit, your cheeks flushing as embarrassment washes through your body.

“What? Sucking a dick.” He asks, earning him a nod in response as you meet his gaze. 

“I’ve not had a lot of practice.” You say as you twiddle your fingers in your lap.

“S’alright don't worry yourself. I’ll help ya.” He says before dazzling you with a comforting smile. 

“Now open wide. Tongue out. Nice and flat. Like you’re begging for it.” He gruffs gripping ahold of your jaw. Opening your mouth nice and wide sticking your tongue like he asked has Simon groaning at the sight of you sitting so pretty in front of him, as he slides the silicone cock against your extended tongue.

Pushing it back Simon watches as the fake cock fills your mouth, lips thinning as you wrap them around the girth. Dragging it back out watching as your saliva coats the surface just to slide it back in again.

“Can I go deeper?” He asks as he works it in and out. Nodding in response has Simon pumping the fake cock just that little bit deeper.

“Suck for me, but no teeth. Nice and wide just like that.” He demands as he watches you hollow your cheeks.

“Fuck me, I could blown in my jeans just at the sight of you. So fuckin’ beautiful.” He groans as he works the fake cock deeper down your throat, but taking enough care so you don't choke around it. Saliva coats your lips as he pulls the cock out a string of it stretching between you and the toy before he’s pushing it back in.

“You’re doing so well.” He coos running his fingers through your hair making sure to keep it out of the way. 

You can’t help but whimper out at the praise, as you stare up into his piercing gaze. Reaching for his hips you bracing yourself against him, letting your wandering hands roam the expanse of his body. Before palming over his rock-hard cock.

Using both hands you begin tugging at his waistband fumbling with his belt before yanking his jeans down just enough to allow access to his aching cock. Reaching in and pulling it free from the confinements of his boxers. Staring at him as you work your hand up and down his length, with his hips bucking forward in response.

“Fuck!” He exclaims. Pulling the fake cock free from your mouth and throwing it aside before reaching down to lift you. Throwing you further onto the bed. 

“Spread those legs. Lemme see that pretty pussy, baby.” He says from where he stands at the edge of the bed still, removing the jeans that sit at his ankles. Dropping your thighs apart, nice and wide you let him marvel in the sight of your soaked panties.

“Well isn’t that just the prettiest sight.” He remarks tugging his cock, before crawling towards you. Gripping a hold of the flimsy lace that covers you tearing it clean in half. 

Hooking his arms under your thighs spreading you nice and wide before burying his head between your thighs. His tongue is soft and silky as he licks up your slit flicking hard when he meets your clit, that you can’t help but arch up off the bed. 

“Mhm you like that.” He murmurs against you before draping your thighs over his shoulders. Going in for another taste he laps at your slick, sliding his tongue between your folds before sucking your clit into his mouth. 

“God, yes!” You moan as you squeeze your thighs around his head. 

Simon slipping a finger inside of you has you groaning out as you grind your hips against his face. 

“Do you want another one? Get you nice and ready for my cock, mhm?” He asks, dragging his eyes up to meet yours.

“Yes!” You nod, frantically as your claw at the sheets beneath you. 

And he does just that, slipping another finger inside your sopping core pumping them nice and fast in and out of you as he sucks at your clit.

“Fuck.Fuck.Fuck.” You curse.

“Cum for me, baby. All over my face, give it to me.” He demands. Your body jerks as your muscles spasm, clenching around his fingers before releasing all over him. Simon laps at your pussy, licking up every drop of cum he can get before sucking your release off his own fingers. 

“Fuck me.” You pant, chest heaving as you lay there in the middle of the bed.

“You like that?” He smirks, knowing damn well he just made you cum harder than any toy has been able to. 

“You okay?” He chuckles, grabbing ahold of your hands and pulling you up onto your knees.

“Yeah, j-just gimme a second.” You pant, as he positions you at the end of the bed again. 

“Here, wanna have a proper go?” He asks as he tugs at his cock, his tip throbbing as it drips pre cum. And you can't help but nod eagerly at the opportunity.

“Take it. With both hands. Get it nice and wet for me.” He says aligning his tip against your lips. The taste of the salty pre cum coats your lips like gloss.  Your tongue darts out lapping at the liquid. Slipping your lips down over his swollen tip, you let yourself feel every ridge and vein as you glide across them with your tongue.

“Fuck. That’s it, doll. A bit deeper f’me” He coaxes. 

Pulling more of him into your mouth the same way he did with the fake cock earlier, you let his length fill your mouth and the noises of pleasure that slip past his lips has your pussy getting wetter and wetter, dripping with arousal. 

“Fuckin’ hell.” He moans. His hands gripping at your hair before pulling you off of his cock. 

“What’s wrong?” You ask, worry flooding your system at the thought of doing something wrong.

“Nothing, luv. I’m gonna end up blowing down your throat if you keep it up. And that’s not where I want it.” He says as he cups your cheek, rubbing his thumb across the expanse of your cheek before planting a kiss to your forehead. 

“How do you feel about sitting on me cock, baby?” He asks.

“I think I can do that.” You answer.

“Just say if you don’t wanna, alright?” He says whilst propping himself up against the head board. 

“Okay.” You nod before straddling him, his massive hands coming down to grip your waist.

“Nice and slow, okay.” He says as he helps you position yourself above his cock. Splaying your hands across his chest you inch yourself backwards aligning yourself with his tip.

Your legs straining as you lower yourself down, his tip hitting against your entrance has you stifling a moan as you sink yourself down onto him. Slowly each inch disappears inside of you stretching your tight little pussy around his massive cock. He’s so fucking thick that you find yourself letting out a whimper as he rubs against your walls.

“I feel so full.” You groan, earning you a chuckle in response as you work the last few inches inside of you. 

“You look so beautiful right now, doll face.” He says, releasing his grip on your waist to pull your tits free of the lace bra that you’ve still got on. 

“Fuck me. Look at these beauties." He remarks, squeezing at the fat of your breasts before wrapping his mouth around your rock hard nipple. 

“Fuck!” You moan as you slide the last inch of his cock inside of you, your pussy flush with his pelvis.

“How do you feel?” He asks releasing your nipple from his mouth with a pop.

“So fucking good.” You groan “I don’t think I’ve ever felt this good.” You state. 

Simon chuckles at your statement before planting a firm grip to your waist.

“Come on then. Move these hips, baby.” He says, giving you a slight tap to the ass before beginning to lift you upwards. The feel of his cock dragging against your walls has your eyes rolling back as you bounce yourself up and down his length. Rocking yourself backwards and forward has your clit brushing up against him causing you to squirm and clench around him. 

You can't help but pant out curse after curse as you swivel your hips on top of him.

“Atta girl. Ride me.” He groans, folding his arms behind his head so he can marvel in your beauty. 

Sweat coats your skin as you grip and claw at the skin of his chest, every part of your body trembles as you force yourself to keep going. 

“You gonna cum for me?” He asks.

“Yes. God yes!” You moan, your hands coming up to play with your own nipples as you bounce back onto his cock. 

“That’s it. Give it to me, baby.” He coos. His hands coming back to your waist to help you rock yourself back against him. His cock fills you to the brim as you clench down around him, your body shaking with the intensity of your approaching orgasm. 

“Fuck, baby.” Simon groans as he slams you down onto his cock, holding you in place as he releases inside of you, rope after rope of thick pearly cum coats your walls as you milk him dry. 

“Fuck.” You pant, rolling yourself off of him and onto the bed. 

“You okay?” Simon asks, propping himself up on his elbows to look at you. 

“I’m so good right now.” You state, as a smile tugs at the corner of your lips.

“That’s good.” He says smirking, before placing a kiss against your lips. Soft and gentle before pulling away, to get up. 

Walking towards the webcam, Simon takes a quick glance at the live chat, that’s flooding in message after message. 

“I can see you all enjoyed that, very much.” He chuckles.

But I’ve gotta go take care of her now.” He says before switching the camera off, not even bothering to say goodbye before he's turning back towards where you lay, taking the mask off.

“Let's get you cleaned up, aye.” He says, scooping you up off the bed and walking you towards the bathroom. Where he perches you on the counter so he can start running the bath.

[lovelyzzzz777]

AstroRevelations Vol. XIII – “The Wound She Wore Like a Crown”👑❤️‍🔥

(how to begin healing Lilith by sign and house)

She is rage in lace, power hidden in shame. Lilith is the voice they told you was “too much,” “too dark,” “too dangerous.” Healing her means reclaiming that voice.

Let’s begin where she hides — and where she burns brightest:

♈︎ Aries / 1st House You were punished for being loud, for existing with force. Your anger is sacred. Heal by: letting yourself lead unapologetically. Exercise helps you burn shame into strength. You don’t need to soften for anyone.

♉︎ Taurus / 2nd House You were told your body, your pleasure, your hunger were “too much.” Heal by: grounding in your senses. Eat slowly. Touch what you love. Build security on your terms. Your value isn’t up for debate.

♊︎ Gemini / 3rd House Your voice was silenced, your curiosity shamed. Heal by: reclaiming your words — even the chaotic, contradictory ones. Journal. Speak. Debate. You don’t owe anyone neatness.

♋︎ Cancer / 4th House You were told your emotions were “too much,” or you became the caretaker too soon. Heal by: nurturing yourself first. Set emotional boundaries. Your softness is not weakness, it’s alchemy.

♌︎ Leo / 5th House You were taught to dim your shine or only shine when “approved.” Heal by: expressing yourself without waiting for applause. Make art. Take selfies. You are the moment.

♍︎ Virgo / 6th House You were told to be perfect to be lovable. You overwork to feel worthy. Heal by: breaking the cycle of self-criticism. You are not your productivity. Your chaos has its own sacred rhythm.

♎︎ Libra / 7th House You were expected to always be pleasing, passive, or partnered. Heal by: becoming your own mirror. Practice radical honesty in love. Let yourself be disliked if it means being real.

♏︎ Scorpio / 8th House You were shamed for your intensity, for your sexuality, for your need to transform. Heal by: going deep — but safely. Therapy, shadow work, creative rage. Let death lead to rebirth. Over and over.

♐︎ Sagittarius / 9th House You were punished for questioning, for dreaming too big, for leaving. Heal by: trusting your truth. Travel mentally, spiritually, physically. You’re not meant to be tamed.

♑︎ Capricorn / 10th House You were expected to be strong, successful, composed. You may fear failure more than anything. Heal by: detaching from others' definitions of success. Rest is your rebellion. Power is not always loud.

♒︎ Aquarius / 11th House You were exiled for being “too different,” or you erased yourself to fit in. Heal by: embracing your uniqueness — without apology. Find your people. Lead your own revolution.

♓︎ Pisces / 12th House You absorbed everyone’s pain and lost yourself in it. Heal by: making boundaries holy. Spirituality isn’t escape — it’s your sword. Your sensitivity is sacred, not a flaw.

Lilith isn’t meant to be “fixed.” She’s meant to be freed.

[astrologydray]

——Juno In The Signs——

Juno in astrology represents commitment, marriage, and long-term partnerships. Juno in the birth chart reveals how you approach serious relationships, the qualities you seek in a lifelong partner, and what you need to feel secure and fulfilled in commitment. Juno’s sign shows the type of energy you bring into partnerships and what kind of partner you are naturally drawn to!

———————————————————————

Juno in Aries ♈️: Juno in Aries in a birth chart indicates a desire for independence, excitement, and passion in committed relationships. You may be drawn to partners who are bold, assertive, and dynamic, and you value relationships that allow you to maintain your individuality. Commitment for you doesn’t mean losing yourself—it means standing side by side with someone equally strong-willed. You might struggle with impulsiveness or wanting things to move quickly, but you also bring a lot of energy and enthusiasm to partnerships. You’re likely to be protective of your loved ones and expect mutual respect. A partner who challenges you, supports your ambitions, and gives you space to be yourself will keep you engaged. Juno in Aries can also indicate a karmic need to develop courage and self-sufficiency within committed bonds, rather than relying too much on others or suppressing your own needs for the sake of the relationship.

Juno In Taurus ♉️: Juno in Taurus represents a deep need for stability, loyalty, and sensual connection in committed relationships. You seek a partnership that provides security—both emotional and material—and you value consistency over fleeting passion. Trust and reliability are essential for you, and you may take your time committing to someone, but once you do, you expect the bond to be solid and enduring. You are likely drawn to partners who are grounded, patient, and financially or emotionally stable. Physical affection, shared pleasures, and a comfortable home life play a big role in your ideal partnership. You may also have a strong appreciation for beauty and material comforts, wanting a relationship that feels both emotionally fulfilling and physically abundant. The challenge with Juno in Taurus can be possessiveness or resistance to change within relationships. There may be a tendency to hold onto a partnership even when it no longer serves you, simply for the sake of stability. However, when balanced, this placement creates long-lasting, devoted unions built on trust and mutual care.

Juno in Gemini ♊️: Juno in Gemini seeks intellectual stimulation, variety, and open communication in committed relationships. You need a partner who keeps your mind engaged and values deep conversations, humor, and curiosity. Commitment for you doesn’t mean routine or stagnation—it means growing together through shared ideas, experiences, and constant learning. You may be drawn to partners who are witty, adaptable, and socially engaging. A relationship that feels like a mental partnership, where you can exchange ideas freely and keep things interesting, is ideal. You likely prefer a dynamic, playful connection rather than something overly rigid or emotionally heavy. With Juno in Gemini there can be restlessness or a tendency to get bored easily. You may struggle with committing if you feel intellectually unfulfilled, or you might crave multiple sources of stimulation, making monogamy feel limiting unless there’s enough variety in the relationship. Honesty, openness, and mutual curiosity are key to making long-term partnerships work with this placement.

Juno in Cancer ♋️: Juno in Cancer looks for a deep emotional connection, security, and nurturing in committed relationships. You crave a partner who feels like home—someone who provides comfort, emotional depth, and a sense of belonging. Commitment for you is about building a family, whether literally or figuratively, and creating a safe, loving environment where you and your partner can grow together. You may be drawn to partners who are caring, protective, and emotionally in tune with you. Expressing love through acts of care—like cooking, comforting, or simply being there during emotional moments—is important to you. A relationship that feels emotionally safe and supportive is essential for long-term happiness. Juno in Cancer can experience emotional dependency, moodiness, or fear of abandonment. You might hold onto relationships out of nostalgia or a deep fear of being alone. Learning to balance emotional security with personal independence will help you create a healthy, lasting commitment.

Juno in Leo ♌️: Juno in Leo desires a committed relationship that is passionate, loyal, and full of admiration. You need a partner who makes you feel special, adored, and valued, and you’re drawn to relationships that have a sense of romance, excitement, and grand gestures. Commitment for you means being with someone who supports your self-expression and makes you feel like the center of their world. You may be attracted to partners who are confident, charismatic, and have a strong presence. You want a love that feels larger than life—one that brings joy, creativity, and fun into your life. Mutual admiration and respect are key to a lasting partnership, as you need to feel appreciated and recognized for your unique qualities. Juno in Leo can have a need for validation, drama, or an expectation of constant excitement in relationships. If you feel ignored or unappreciated, it can lead to frustration or emotional distance. Finding a partner who matches your passion and enthusiasm while also fostering genuine emotional depth and connection.

Juno in Virgo ♍️: Juno in Virgo seeks a committed relationship that is practical, supportive, and built on mutual respect. You value reliability, dedication, and a partner who shows love through acts of service and attention to detail. Commitment for you isn’t about grand gestures—it’s about the little things, like daily acts of care, consistency, and improving each other’s lives. You may be drawn to partners who are intelligent, hardworking, and grounded. A relationship that feels purposeful and productive is ideal, where both of you help each other grow and refine your best qualities. You appreciate a partner who is attentive, responsible, and willing to put in the effort to make the relationship work. Juno in Virgo can have perfectionism in or being overly critical in relationships. You may have high standards and struggle with accepting imperfections, either in yourself or your partner. Learning to embrace the beauty of imperfection and allowing love to flow naturally, rather than trying to “fix” everything, will help you create a fulfilling and lasting commitment.

Juno in Libra ♎️: Juno in Libra seeks balance, harmony, and partnership in committed relationships. You desire a union built on mutual respect, fairness, and deep companionship. A strong sense of equality is essential, and you thrive in a relationship where both partners contribute equally, whether emotionally, intellectually, or practically. You may be drawn to partners who are charming, diplomatic, and socially refined. Romance is important to you, and you appreciate beauty, grace, and thoughtful gestures in love. You likely value strong communication, compromise, and the ability to resolve conflicts peacefully. Aesthetics and a sense of shared style or culture may also play a role in your ideal partnership. The challenge with Juno in Libra is there can be a tendency to prioritize the relationship over your own needs, avoiding conflict to maintain peace. You may also struggle with indecisiveness in love or idealizing a partner to the point of disappointment when reality sets in. True commitment for you comes when you find someone who brings balance—where love is both romantic and real, fair and fulfilling.

Juno in Scorpio ♏️: Juno in Scorpio seeks deep, transformative, and intensely passionate relationships. You crave a commitment that goes beyond the surface—one that is emotionally profound, intimate, and unbreakable. Loyalty, trust, and emotional depth are essential for you, and you are drawn to partnerships that challenge and transform you on a soul level. You may be attracted to partners who are intense, mysterious, and magnetic. Power dynamics, emotional vulnerability, and a strong sense of devotion often play a role in your relationships. You desire a partner who is fully invested in you—someone who won’t shy away from deep emotional connections, even if they are complex or difficult. The challenge with Juno in Scorpio can be possessiveness, jealousy, or a tendency to test your partner’s loyalty. You may struggle with trust or fear betrayal, leading to power struggles or emotional extremes. Learning to balance intensity with trust, and passion with emotional security, will help you create a lasting, deeply fulfilling commitment.

Juno in Sagittarius ♐️: Juno in Sagittarius seeks freedom, adventure, and personal growth in committed relationships. You value a partnership that expands your horizons, whether through travel, philosophy, or shared intellectual pursuits. A sense of excitement and possibility is essential. You don’t want a relationship that feels confining or routine. You may be drawn to partners who are adventurous, open-minded, and have a strong sense of independence. A relationship that allows both partners to explore new ideas, cultures, and experiences together is ideal. Long-distance relationships or connections with people from different backgrounds may also be common with this placement. The challenge with Juno in Sagittarius is There can be a fear of restriction or difficulty settling down. You may struggle with commitment if it feels too limiting, or you might need a partner who understands your need for space and exploration. The key to a lasting relationship is finding someone who shares your enthusiasm for life while also providing enough emotional depth and stability to keep you engaged.

Juno in Capricorn ♑️: Juno in Capricorn seeks stability, commitment, and long-term security in relationships. You value a partnership that is built on trust, responsibility, and mutual goals. Commitment for you isn’t just about love—it’s about building something lasting and meaningful together. You take relationships seriously and prefer a structured, dependable dynamic over fleeting passion. You may be drawn to partners who are mature, ambitious, and disciplined. A strong work ethic, reliability, and emotional resilience are qualities that attract you. You likely want a relationship that feels like a true partnership, where both of you support each other’s ambitions and create a solid foundation for the future. The challenge with Juno in Capricorn can be emotional restraint or prioritizing duty over emotional connection. You may take a practical approach to love, sometimes suppressing vulnerability or viewing relationships through a lens of responsibility rather than pure affection. Learning to balance commitment with emotional warmth will help you create a relationship that is both stable and fulfilling.

Juno in Aquarius ♒️: Juno in Aquarius seeks a relationship that is based on freedom, individuality, and intellectual connection. You need a partnership that allows both you and your partner to maintain your independence while sharing a deep mental bond. Traditional relationship structures may not appeal to you, and you’re likely drawn to unconventional dynamics or partners who challenge societal norms. You may be attracted to people who are unique, progressive, or even a bit eccentric. A strong friendship foundation is essential in your committed relationships, as you thrive when you can truly be yourself without feeling restricted. You value a partner who respects your need for space, personal growth, and innovation in the relationship. Juno in Aquarius can be emotional detached or resisting commitment if it feels too confining. You might prioritize logic over emotions or feel more comfortable with non-traditional relationship styles. Finding someone who shares your vision for a partnership that is both intellectually stimulating and emotionally supportive while allowing space for individuality.

Juno in Pisces ♓️: Juno in Pisces seeks a deeply spiritual, romantic, and almost otherworldly connection in committed relationships. You crave a partnership that feels soulful and transcendent, where love is unconditional and boundaries between you and your partner can feel blurred. Emotional and spiritual bonding is essential, and you may idealize love as something mystical or fated. You may be drawn to partners who are dreamy, artistic, compassionate, or emotionally sensitive. A relationship that feels like a safe, magical escape from the harshness of the world is appealing to you. Acts of kindness, deep emotional understanding, and a sense of divine connection play a huge role in your ideal commitment. The challenge with Juno in Pisces can be illusions, unrealistic expectations, or difficulty seeing a partner for who they truly are. You may be prone to sacrificing too much, attracting partners who need “saving,” or losing yourself in the relationship. Balancing romance with reality, ensuring that love remains both spiritually fulfilling and emotionally healthy.

Ty kind souls for reading 🖤🖤🖤

[creepsterdreams]

heyyy, is it okay to ask for touchstarved li's with a reader who's a hugger? Just something fluffy for the soul. Thankss :D

Fluff is always a win in my book✨plus I have a feeling some of them absolutely LOVE hugs even if they don’t admit it themselves

I hope you enjoy anon! Your very welcomeee ^_^

TOUCHSTARVED headcanons: MC who’s a hugger

Cw: tooth aching fluff, Vere and Mhin being meanies at first, some mentions of violence, some suggestiveness from Vere

LEANDER

You picked just the right man for this

He could be having an entire conversation with someone and if he sees you rushing towards him he opens his warms with a huge smile on his face and waits for you to jump on him

And he will excuse himself and casually walk away with you in his arms

“Excuse me please, it seems someone needs my attention.😁”

The fact that you are a hugger only makes him fall even MORE in love with you

BEAR HUGS

Uses any and every possible excuse to have his arms on or around you

Sitting at the bar of the Wet Wick? He’s draped himself over your body and is cuddling into your nape

Just succeeded at the smallest thing? He’s lifting you up and twirling you around

Just seeing you for the first or last time that day? Your both huddled up and swaying back and forth for at least 5 whole minutes

He’s blackout drunk? Will literally drag you around wherever with an arm around you

It irritates almost everyone around you but they don’t have the heart to say anything about it

You know except Vere, Mhin, and Ais probably-

The amount of times they’ve walked in on you two damn near molded into one, they lost count

“Should we let you two be so you can keep humping each other?” - Vere

Cue Leander’s embarrassed laughing

That still doesn’t stop him though

But in all honesty he loves the fact that you love hugs

Because that means he can be as affectionate as he wants with you :>

But it also means that whenever he’s sad mode he can just…flop into your arms and lay his head on your chest

Trust him when he says that no therapy can top the feeling of your arms wrapped around him while you gently rub his back

Will totally NOT use physical affection as a way to get what he wants

Please hug this man I can tell that he needs it

AIS

Whew boy…this one’s a doozy

He has the option to just hug you back and go about his day, but then again this is Ais we're talking about he refuses to NOT tease you

He see’s you running up to him, opened arms preparing to jump on him and he stands there, not doing a damn thing

He fully allows you to just tackle him and stand there with your arms around him

He stares down at you with that same smug grin

“Feeling touchy today, sparrow?”

Now just because he’s teasing you doesn’t mean he doesn’t like the hugs

In fact he l o v e s them

The rare days he actually does decide to reciprocate the affection he doesn’t let you go for as long as he can

He’s walking into the wet wick with your legs wrapped around his waist and arms on his shoulders, his hands sitting right underneath your butt securing you in his embrace

All everyone can do is just stare at him like “this fucking guy”

CUDDLE PILES WITH THE SOULLESS

Especially princess

The days where it’s extremely cold or he’s just feeling lovey dovey you’ll spend hours huddled up at the seaspring with princess laying across both of your laps and the rest of the soulless surrounding you

Like Leander, uses any possible reason to hug you like it’s the last time he’ll see you

Will walk up to you and lift you up with one arm to spin you around

Do not say your too heavy. He will challenge you on that

The last thing you hear before being lifted up is a raspy “come ‘er you”

The worse days where the voices of the hive mind are clouding any of his own thoughts and making him more loopy than usual, your arms is usually the first thing he seeks

Standing there for long periods of time, his body simply draping itself onto you, his head buried deep into your neck, all he needed was the feeling of your own arms around him, your face pressed against his chest

And just maybe if you listened close enough, you could hear what sounded like purring

KURAS

Hmm

Hmmmmm

I get the feeling that at first he would be caught off guard, not used to the feeling of someone clinging onto him so often

For some time he simply chuckles whenever you hug him and gives you a slightly awkward pat on the back before you pull away

But once he actually starts getting used to your affection, he’s more than happy to give it right back :>

Unlike the others who are fully prepared and have arms waiting for you, this tall man instead stands there with absolutely no intention of moving

He lets you run to him and pull him into a tight hold, paying no attention to what’s happening around him as he rests his hand on the small of your back, gently rubbing it

He never explicitly states that he loves or hates the hugs, but he does never pull away whenever you do it

If you happen to be at the clinic whenever he’s dealing with a patient and you wanted a hug he would tell you as gently as possible to wait a moment

“Give a minute would you my dear, I’ll be with you in a moment.”

Very soft but very firm <3

Does not give a fuck if other people say something about your excessive hugging

He’ll give them a harsh side eye but otherwise say nothing about it 

If there is any chance he wants a hug back, he won’t directly say it, but he will make it known he wants one

Walks up to you and simply says “my love” before grabbing you by the hand to pull you close

It’s sudden, but that doesn’t make it any less wholesome

The kind of man to let you run up and hug him with all of your strength and simply continue the conversation he was having

Imagine one rare night he decides to bring out his wings and wraps them around you to add to the hug

Probably one of the few cases where he’s brought out his wings that wasn’t for “other” reasons

VERE

Wheeewwww all I have to say is, good luck

If you thought Ais was bad with the teasing, Vere will do you one better

The second you wrap your arms around him it’s like he’s programmed to bully you

“Aw well isn’t someone feeling needy.”

He’s not pulling away, but that doesn’t mean he’s shutting up lmao

The first time you did it, he simply stood there. Ears pressed down as his tail was fluffed up

He didn’t know what to do. I don’t think this guy has gotten a genuine hug before

His first instinct was to push you away, but he couldn’t find it in himself to do that. You weren’t attacking him or anything, you were just, embracing him?

Once you did pull away he replaced his initial shock with a smirk, using his pointer finger to lift your chin and ask if you wanted to touch him that badly

It takes him longer than Kuras to get used to your affection, he’s probably only used to being touched if it’s sex related unfortunately

Prefers if you gently wrap your arms around him instead of running up and practically jumping on him

He’ll be damned before he looks like a fool in public

Pray for whoever decides to be brave enough to comment on your hugging because it can go two ways

Vere says fuck it and kills them right there

Or he sends them so many passive aggressive comments they just walk away reevaluating their life

Only HE can bully you

Takes him forever to start coming to you for comfort hugs

It would have been at least some time after you’ve known each other

One day he just straight up drags you away from what your doing, making sure it was just you and him

He then proceeds to damn near suffocate you with his hold, but after a few seconds you hug him back, both of you locked in place, his tail wagging in pure glee

He tells you to pretend it never happened but you can see the way his tail sways whenever you hug him again

MHIN

In all honesty, they are probably the first one to actually push you away the first time you hug them

Not used to physical affection at ALL but also does not desire it

They didn’t mean to be so forceful when they pushed you, they just genuinely weren’t expecting you to be so…so

Affectionate?

So when you run up and jump on them one day after they just finished hunting soulless their all like “⁉️⁉️”

When you look at them with concern they just tsk and look away

“At least ask first.”

Is fully aware of your hugger tendencies they just…don’t know what to do with that

For some time you do ask first if it’s okay to hug them, and they say yes, but then they proceed to just stand there stiff as a board as you love on them

But if anyone dares to bring up your clinginess their quick to snap back at them

ESPECIALLY if it’s anyone besides Kuras

Even if they don’t show it, they do appreciate you being willing to be physically affectionate in anyway

Especially after so many years of them being convinced that no one could love a monster

Also prefers if you would gently hug them than run up, but also wouldn’t mind the second thing

If you do then they just blush and flick you on the head

Because I have a feeling that they are someone that you cannot sneak up on so there’s a good chance they heard you coming💔

After a while (like a few months) they eventually get used to your constant hugging, so if there’s ever a day where you aren’t wrapped around them then they are quick to wonder if your okay

We love soft Mhin

On the very rare days that Mhin ever seeks out your hugs for comfort, they make sure that they make it count

Like Vere, pulls you aside so it’s just the two of you and simply gives you a tight squeeze, with their hand resting on the back of your head

After that pull away and then pretend nothing just happened but you can see the blush on their face <3

[yeonzzzn]

stuck with me: park jongseong

pairing: jay x afab!reader word count: 26.2k

synopsis: in the middle of the apocalypse, you and jay find each other in a situation of life and death, using the protection of each other to get to the next safe zone. unfortunately for the both of you, things take a turn once secrets get revealed and the fight for survival becomes greater.

genre: enemies to lovers, zombie apocalypse!au, blonde jay, smuggler hyung line + smuggler txt, riize members + jungkook and namjoon make appearances, smut.

warnings: swearing, blood, weapons(guns and knives), drug mentions, make-out session, multiple unprotected sex, fingering, oral (f. rec), gun goes pew pew, mentions of d**th, MINORS DNI, lemme know if I missed anything ♡

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Jay said, the barrel of his shotgun pointing straight ahead, his heart rate racing faster than just a second ago, index finger twitching as his whole hand shook. 

You stood across from him, pointing your pistol right back at him, aiming directly for the middle of his forehead. 

Unfortunately for you, you had three other shotguns pointing directly at you. 

Your glare didn’t relent as you eyed each of them. 

“You’d be wise to drop your weapon,” you darted to the one who spoke, his dark red dyed hair hung slightly over his eyes, a sure sign that he didn’t trust you. Which was fair. You didn’t trust them either. 

“Four against one,” one smirked, his natural fangs showing, “Be smart, girl.” 

“I was here first,” you snapped, eyes darting between the four of them, “Find another place to ransack.” 

Jay glanced to his left as Jake took a step ahead of him, “As if! Drop your fucking weapon!” he yelled at you. 

You scoffed, raising both hands up, slowly backing away. Vampire fangs was right, it was four against one. There was no scenario where you would win this fight. Not when four shotguns were being pointed at you with the low amount of ammo you had left. It was a loser situation. They slowly lowered their guns slightly, obviously still on edge. 

Jay watched you carefully as you backed away. Watching as your long-sleeved shirt forsaken you, revealing the white bandage wrapped around your forearm with blood soaking through. His heart raced faster, eyes widened. 

“She’s been fucking bit!!” the redhead snapped, all four of the boys' weapons locking back into place pointing at you. 

“Shit,” Jay hissed. 

You lowered your pistol back at the blonde, gritting your teeth. 

**5 HOURS BEFORE**

You stuffed your mouth with the extra shirt from your backpack, biting down as hard as your jaw let you, and rolled up your sleeve to your elbow, the bite mark on your forearm still looking as gross as ever. 

The bottle of medical alcohol you found at the hospital sat to your left on the counter as you dangled your bitten right arm over the hospital's sink. 

You grabbed the bottle and took a few massive deep breaths in before pouring the alcohol down onto the bite. 

Your grip on the shirt tightened as you hissed in pain, doing everything you could possible to keep your groans to a reasonably quiet level to not alert any living or undead beings that could be stalking the hospital to your current location. 

Once the last of the alcohol dripped from the bottle and onto your arm, you grabbed the paper towels and gently dabbed your skin then tossed the towels behind you. You then picked up the tube of ointment, spreading enough on your fingers to rub gently on the bite. Adding the finishing touch of wrapping the white bandages around the bite and securing it tight. 

You got lucky to have found all these supplies when you did or else you’d be dead soon due to infection and loss of blood. 

You quickly pulled your long-sleeve back down then tossed your extra shirt, along with your newfound medical supplies, into your backpack and threw it over your shoulders. 

In all honesty, besides just being lucky enough to have found these supplies, you were lucky to still even be breathing. 

It’s been three years since this hell started. Since the so-called “cure” for some wack-ass disease was created for treatment that ultimately backfired and turned anyone who took it into a man-eating monster. And as the world failed to contain the outbreak, if anyone who was affected by the treatment bit or even scratched someone else, it too turned them into man-eating monsters. Or zombies if you will. Maybe even runners, clickers, or bloaters if you played the famous “The Last of Us” video game before the world went to shit. The walking dead, walkers, lurkers, the infected. Basically, any term you can think of for zombies is literally what was happening. 

Before the world knew it, everyone was thrown into this universe of kill or be killed to survive. The strong-willed were the only ones who survived. Or unless you were lucky and packed up with others. Or even extremely lucky and live inside one of the safe zones and not have to worry about leaving it. 

Unfortunately for you, you were all the above, minus not getting to leave the comfort of the safe zone. 

The safe zone you lived in was small and quiet. Not a lot of people, maybe a little over three hundred. So when supplies ran low, teams were sent out to gather more. Your safe zone wasn’t lucky enough to have military aid, and even when the military did come by to give supplies, it never was enough. Guess they saw your safe zone as a waste of time. 

You’ve ventured out of the safe zone multiple times for supply runs, so when you were picked to be a part of the team to head out, you thought nothing of it. Thought of it as just another scouting and supply run…but it wasn’t. Clearly. 

Your luck had to run out at some point, and that day just so happened to be where the luck ended. 

Your team was stuck between a rock and a hard place, quite literally, actually. The rock technically being a wall and the hard place being the undead had your team surrounded with no chances of escaping. Two of your team members were already killed, one got bit and killed themselves to spare the pain of changing, leaving just you and four others. One got scratched on the leg and had no other chance of escaping. Bless that man because he used his last bit of flares and bullets to part the sea in a chance to let you and the others make a run for it. 

You held onto the hand of your best friend as you both booked it on the small clear path. And once the sea started to close, you knew it was over. Your friend was ripped from your hand, her screams filling your ears along with the others who were being torn apart. You wanted to give up. You should have given up. You were surrounded, and the smell of death from the unliving as they were only nearly inches away from you. But some spark of hope kept you moving forward. Some unrelenting force pushing you towards the window. Your best friend yelled at you to keep going. If you were honest, her voice wasn’t the only thing that gave that hope. Something else was drawing you to stay alive, and what could that have been? You didn’t know. But you wanted to find out. 

You guarded your neck and face with your arms as you jumped through the window, the sound of breaking glass being loud enough and the smell of your blood that now ran down your arms surely alerted any other zombies in the area. But you kept moving once your feet touched the ground and started sprinting. You kept moving even as the tears streamed down your face as you left your teammates behind. 

You were the lone survivor. 

It didn’t take you long to notice the bite on your forearm just above your wrist once you got to a water stream and soaked your cut and bruised arms from breaking the window. You thought you were done for. That everyone else’s sacrifices were all for nothing. You wouldn’t be accepted back at the safe zone if you even made it back to the safe zone. Once you’ve been bit or scratched it takes roughly twenty-four hours before you start turning. The safe zone was two days away. You wouldn’t make it. 

Except you did. 

It’s now been a month since you’ve been bitten and nothing about you has changed besides the fact you have a random ass zombie bite mark on your arm that is slowly, but surely, healing. It will be one hell of a scar. 

You knew returning back to the zone wouldn’t work. They’d kill you on the spot. Or if they let you back in and notice you’ve survived a bite mark…you’d just become an experiment. Just like in every zombie video game and movie. 

So you took to the life of being a lone wolf. Doing everything—and meaning everything—you needed to survive. 

You continued your search of the hospital, gathering more medical supplies and any food left behind. Along with more ammunition(even if it was just a few bullets) for your pistol and any other weapons to add to your arsenal. As you passed by a window, you noticed just how low the sun was setting, meaning you needed to either get to a safe place within the hospital or attempt to find a nearby building or house that was safer. 

Because let’s be honest, who knew who or what was in this hospital still. And you sure as fuck weren’t going to be sticking around long enough to find out. 

You lifted up your sleeve to check your bite, seeing a small amount of blood staining the bandage. You quietly cursed, knowing you had to leave as soon as possible before something detected your blood smell. The only thing that sucked about the bite being slow healing, is the fact it still bled and was still infected. You needed to get treated, but that came at a cost that wasn’t worth it. 

You quickly and quietly slipped out the same way you came in, darting into the overgrown nature the world was now, your pistol in hand and knife strapped at your thigh. 

**3 HOURS BEFORE**

“Are you being serious right now?” Jay scoffed, staring down at Heeseung as his hands, and parts of his face were stained red. 

Heeseung smirked as he looked up at his younger friend, “Obviously.” he chuckled, “We are in the zombie apocalypse, If I want to dye my hair red, I will dye my hair red.” 

Jay stared down at the hair supplies surrounding Heeseung on the floor, “Where the fuck did you even find all this?” 

Heeseung shrugged, “I found them a couple of months back the last time we left the zone. Only just now decided to put them to use.” 

Sunghoon let out a low laugh. He was sitting at the kitchen table with an old Polaroid camera in his hands. The old thing was broken, but that didn’t stop Sunghoon from wanting to fix it and use it, “You’d think being in the zombie apocalypse, dying your hair would be the last thing on your mind.” 

Jake agreed, “We should be stealing supplies that are needed.” 

“And this was needed!” Heeseung rolled his eyes, “Who says fashion had to die with the world?” 

Jay always loved how positive his older friend was. How unaffected he was by this fucked up world. But with the way his world came to an end, Heeseung kind of had no choice but to grin and bear it. To shove the past away and live in the now and for the future. Also being the oldest and taking up that mantle to be the sole source of happiness and good vibes for the group, he was better than the rest of the boys living in this cabin. 

Jay knelt down beside Heeseung on the floor, eyes wandering between all the supplies, “Damn you used up all the red.” 

Heeseung just smiled, “Want me to dye your hair?” 

Jay lifts his hand to run it through his black hair, debating if it even would be worth it. It would add some fun to his life. But ultimately he declined, “We are going out.” 

Jake groaned, and flopped himself down onto his bed, “Are we seriously sneaking out tonight?” 

Sunghoon leaned back in his chair, draping his arm over the back, “What are we smuggling out?” 

Jay shook his head, “It’s what we are going to smuggle in.” 

Heeseung kept his eyes pointed at the small square mirror he had propped up against a bike of old books on the floor as he continued to run his red dye-stained hands through his hair, “What could we possibly be smuggling in?” 

“Drugs, obviously,” Jake said, rolling onto his stomach, “What else could we smuggle into the zone that isn’t allowed to be here?” 

Jay shrugged, “I got a tip that a building about an hour south from here, someone from a neighboring safe zone dropped the drugs off there. We smuggle that in and sell that shit, we’d have enough money to last us for months.” 

“And who the fuck tipped you off?” Sunghoon scoffed, hands going back to fiddling with his camera. 

“I swear to god if you say Yeonjun,” Heeseung said with a click of his tongue, “Man is higher than a kite half the damn time.” 

Jay just smiles, “Nah, it wasn’t from Yeonjun or his crew.” 

“Then who?” Jake asked with pure confusion on his face. 

“Probably Jungkook,” Sunghoon guessed, “He’s the only other person who would care enough about smuggling drugs into the zone. He probably got someone in the jail to run their mouths to even pass on this information.” 

Jungkook was one of the local police officers in this safe zone. He wasn’t a dirty cop or anything, he just understood that sometimes people need a getaway. That getaway is either hard-core drugs, or even the lesser ones. Ones that either get you fucked up, or higher than a kite like Yeonjun is half the time. Either way, Jungkook allowed these four to sneak in and out of the zone as they pleased as long as they didn't get caught or bitten. Because once they got caught, Jungkook would hold no power to protect them. 

Jay just nodded and stood up, “We leave in an hour. Like I said, it would take us an hour to get to where we need to go.” 

“Oh, good!” Heeseung cooed, “That gives us plenty of time to bleach your hair.” 

Jay scrunched his nose, looking at the box of hair bleach sitting beside Heeseung. 

“There’s a pretty cool blonde color you can use, I sure as hell won’t use it.” 

Jay rolled his eyes and sat down beside his friend, “Make it quick.” 

**10 MINUTES BEFORE**

Jay, Heeseung, Jake, and Sunghoon all carefully walked into the small village that is said to have the drugs. 

Each of the boys kept their eyes open for the building that was described to them, guns locked and loaded and ready to fire in case of any trouble. 

The moonlight and the few shitty street lamps that still somehow worked were the only source of light they had to light the village. 

It was quiet, a bit too quiet for Jay’s liking but a blessing nevertheless. The last thing he needed was having to actually fire their weapons and alert any zombies their way. 

“Where the fuck is this building,” Jake softly snapped, “I do not like being out here.” 

“That makes two of us,” Heeseung agreed, “I don’t like the vibes here.” 

Most of the world has been overgrown with grass, plants, vines, etc etc etc. Each city or town or village outside the safe zones wouldn’t be well kept and taken care of. But this place? The grass was cut. Only a select few houses and buildings had vines covering them. Someone or a few people were taking care of this place. Jay could only imagine it was whoever dropped the drugs off here. Or so he hoped. 

You also found the small village, taking a mental note of how clean it was when it shouldn’t be. You didn’t like it, but you needed to eat, clean your bite, and sleep. This place would have to do until the sun comes up. 

Most of the houses or buildings were locked or covered in vines, and since the undead stalked around more freely at night, you didn’t want to risk breaking a door or window and settled for finding one that was already broken into. 

You found your way into a building where the door was barely holding onto its hinges. You walked in, seeing that it used to be an old convenience store that was yet to be raided. 

Your heart quickened at the sight, wasting no time to pile what food, medicines, and other supplies you could into your backpack. It was like you hit the jackpot, your luck showing off. 

Your luck brought you an old tin box sitting on a small shelf under the register (that unfortunately had zero money in it). You gently shook the box, hearing what sounded like a plastic bag shifting about. After opening the lid, your eyes widened at the contents.

Drugs. Hard ones. Ones that would knock you on your ass and get you high as fuck. You dug through the plastic bag, seeing some of the drugs were for pain in high dosages, which was perfect for your bitten arm. God damn were you lucky. 

You shoved the tin into your backpack, ready to find a place to sleep when a noise coming from the back of the store jolted you to a stop. Your heartbeat quickened and your breathing became unsteady. Your hand on your pistol tightened, shaking as you quietly walked towards the back. You prayed and prayed it was just some animal, or the wind blowing through the broken windows. 

You turned the corner towards the bathrooms, only to be met face-to-face with an undead monster. 

The thing hissed and groaned as it saw you, lunging forward, arms stretched out and drool dripping from its opened mouth. The smell of rotting flesh was enough to make you want to toss up everything you’d eaten that day. You only had enough time to take a few steps back before tripping over your own feet falling completely on your ass. 

You haven’t felt fear like this since you and your old team members got cornered. The flashbacks of watching your friends get eaten and torn about filled your brain. You started to panic, thinking this was it until that sparkle of hope filled you once again. You raised your pistol up, aiming at the zombie's head, and pulled the trigger twice. 

“Please tell me you all heard that too,” Heeseung whispered, the sounds of a gun being fired echoed across the village. 

“Yeah,” Jay took a deep breath in, “I heard it too.” 

The boys quickly went in the direction of the sound, eyes glancing in every direction to keep watch of any trouble until they found the building they were looking for and found something they weren’t expecting to find—you.  

You barely got to your feet and turned around when the four men approached you, shotguns aiming directly at you. 

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” 

And that’s how you all ended up here, guns pointing at each other with every intent to kill. 

“She’s been fucking bit!!” Heeseung snapped, all four of the boys' weapons locking back into place pointing at you. 

“Shit,” Jay hissed. 

You lowered your pistol back at Jay, gritting your teeth, “It’s not what you think.” 

“Like hell it is!!” Sunghoon yelled, “I should put a few rounds into you right now!” 

Jay couldn’t explain it, but something felt off about this, about you. Your wrap was soaked in blood, but you can clearly see the blood has darkened in some areas of the wrap. Usually, a person who has been bitten turns within twenty-four hours. Your wound looks older than that. 

You whipped your weapon back to vampire fang, narrowing your eyes, “Shoot me and I’ll sure as hell make sure to get some rounds into you too.” 

“Sunghoon,” Heeseung sternly said, “Stand down.” 

Sunghoon locked his jaw and took a few steps back. Heeseung noticed it as well. The longer he stared at you, the more he could tell your bite looked too old. 

“Hoon, Jake,” Jay said, barely turning his head to look at the younger too, keeping his weapon pointed at you, “Go find what we came here for so we can leave, I don’t want to stick around long enough to find out if she has more friends here.” 

The younger too nodded, slowly backing away and then turning on their heels, running in different directions to find what they came here for. 

Heeseung and Jay kept their eyes on you. You knew once they got whatever they came for they would leave you here or kill you. 

You preferred the first option. 

“Fuck!” Jake yelled, finding the whole place empty, “Nothing is here!” 

Heeseung and Jay narrowed their eyes at you, you could read it all over their faces that they came here for what you found and shoved into your backpack. 

“Fucking bitch, plan to take those drugs to knock your ass out while you change? Maybe kill yourself in the process?” 

You showed your teeth, “What is it to you?” You snapped, “I found it first, fuck off!” 

Jay took a step closer to you, and you took two back, “We have a lot—and I mean a lot—of money riding on those drugs, hand them over before I kill you and take them myself.” 

“Might as well just kill her,” Heeseung scoffed, “It’ll be a blessing compared to what she’ll feel once the change takes over.” 

“It's not what you think!” you yelled again. 

Heeseung wasn’t listening, not really caring either. He’s had enough. They needed those drugs, needed that money to keep his brothers alive. So he stepped toward you quickly, sliding his shotgun tied to the strap behind his back, one hand gripping your wrists and the other at your backpack. 

He was too quick for you to process or make a move. It was obvious at the way your pistol left your hands and was kicked to the blonde, the way his knee bent into the back of yours buckling you to the ground, that his man had done this plenty of times. Has been in plenty of fights and probably killed multiple people. 

But you’d be damned if you were going to go down this easy. 

You slammed your weight to your back, to knock his hand off your backpack, then moved to the left, putting all your force into his side to push him off you. But his grip on your left wrist was unrelenting, his fingers held just above your wrap, slowly sliding it off. 

You managed to get him off you, sending him to his ass. You quickly stood to your feet, only to be met with your pistol touching your forehead, the blonde's eyes like fire burning into you. Jake and Sunghoon standing back behind him, pointing their guns at you again. 

“Heeseung,” Jay said, “You good buddy?” 

Your eyes darted to the redhead, watching as he stood up, eyes piercing. 

You looked back at the man in front of you, raising your hands back up, “Take the fucking drugs, this shit ain’t worth it.” It really wasn’t worth it. Even if you got away these four would chase you down until they got the box and killed you. You needed to survive for the sake of the friends you’ve lost. 

You kept your eyes locked with the blonde as Heeseung was now at your back, digging into it to pull out the tin box.  

Jay was about to pull away when his eyes darted back to your wrist, seeing the bite. Without thinking his free hand gripped your bitten wrist and pulled it forward, lowering the pistol to lift your sleep up higher. 

“Shit,” he hissed, “Guys, come look at this.” 

You were now surrounded by the four of them looking at your wound, every single one of their eyes widening. 

You also glanced down at your bite, it was obvious it was infected from it not being taken care of, but it was healing. And it was obvious that it was. 

“You’re immune?” The redhead said, his eyes now lifting to examine your face, “How is that possible?” 

Jay locked eyes with you again, then with his friends, “What the fuck have we gotten ourselves into?” 

—

Sneaking out of the safe zone with four people is one thing. But sneaking back in with four people while SMUGGLING another life and illegal drugs is another. 

The safe zone might be one of the biggest in the world, but everyone knows who Jay, Heeseung, Jake, and Sunghoon are. So with you standing in the middle of the four as you all climbed up through a hole that leads into an abandoned broken-down home and the face of a military officer staring back at you, your heart sank. And the looks of the four boys around you were evidence enough that you all just got caught. 

“What the actual fuck is going on?!” the officer snapped, his eyes filled with such a fire that I made you want to duck under the boys and back down to the hole and escape into the free world. 

“Jungkook,” Heeseung said, raising his hands up, letting his shotgun dangle from his chest, “Listen, man, we didn’t plan this either.” 

“You know they keep count of every mother fucker in this safe zone!” Jungkook snapped

“We know!” Heeseung snapped back, “But you’re going to want to see this.” 

Heeseung whips around to you, reaching his hand out for you to take it, nodding his head to move closer to him, “Come here, YN.” 

You glare at him, shaking your head. You still didn’t trust these four boys, why would you willingly hand over your secret to a military officer? 

Jake nudged you forward, stumbling over your feet and reaching for Heeseung’s hand anyway. 

Jungkook crossed his arms over his chest and it made your heart sink even more. The man was BUFF. His big strong arms flexed naturally and the tattoos that ran from his hand and up his right arm made him seem even more scary, like this man could snap your neck without breaking a sweat. 

Heeseung barely lifted your sleeve up to expose your bite and Jungkook was five steps back with his pistol drawn out towards you. 

What’s with everyone pointing guns at you today?

“You brought an INFECTED here?!” he yelled, the hell fire burning in his eyes raging more, “I should kill each of you right now for bringing her here.” 

Heeseung rolled his eyes and pulled your sleeve up further, “Fucking look!” 

Jungkook stared down at your arm, his gun slowly falling to the floor, “How can that be possible?” 

A question for you. 

You just looked down at the bite, shaking your head, “I don’t know.” 

Jungkook silently looked between you all, “Fuck!” 

He shoved his pistol back into the holster at his hip and paced back and forth, running his hands through his hair. 

“Get her back to the house, NOW!” he growled, pointing a finger at all four of them one by one, “Do not let anyone see her, you understand?” They all nodded, “Good, and make sure she fucking bathes and gets that wound cleaned up and wrapped. I’ll come by when I get my head straight.” 

You now walked even closer in between the four boys than what you were earlier, wandering your eyes to every person you walked passed, scared you’d be discovered. That feeling eased up a bit as they led you down an alleyway, then across another street before quickly shuffling you inside what you assumed was their home. 

Once the door was closed and deadbolted, you scanned their home. It was small, but big enough to house the four of them. 

There weren’t any rooms, so their four beds lined up against the west side of the house, with a couch across from it with a small table and a radio beside it. 

Their kitchen on the east side of the house was also small, fitting enough space for the normal kitchen essentials and a table for eating in the middle, a bathtub sitting in the corner. 

You were scared for a second about how these four use the bathroom but noticed outside the kitchen window an outhouse. 

“This used to be a storage house,” Jake said, dropping his body onto the couch, “The four of us fixed it up and made it our home. It’s not much, but it’s something.” 

It was definitely better than the places you’ve been sleeping in recently. 

Jay was now handing you a clean pair of clothes, “Wear these after you bathe, we’ll find you some that fit better tomorrow.” 

You thanked him and walked to the tub, dropping your backpack into a chair at the table. You stared at the tub with excitement. You’ve been without a proper bath since being bitten and the thought of getting a warm bath made your heart sink. 

You turned the hot water knob, watching as the clean water flowed into the tub. Most safe zones were lucky if they had clean running water and basically electricity. The bigger zones obviously are the luckier ones. Yours, on the other hand, had no electricity and water was so scarce there were designated days when people were allowed to bathe. 

Without another thought, your hands went to the hems of your shirt and slowly started lifting. 

“Woah woah what the fuck are you doing?!?” Sunghoon snapped, his heart racing at the sight of barely seeing your belly. 

“I’m fixing to bathe? I stink?” 

“And you are just going to strip in front of us?!?” Jake said, the clear blush settling in on his cheeks. 

You scoffed, letting out a laugh, “The world is ending as we know it and you’re worried about seeing a female naked? Shouldn’t you be glad to see it?” 

Jake sat in silence, his eyes now wandering to Heeseung and Jay, who kept their eyes on you, their reactions haven't changed since you first met them. 

“Well, I’m not about to be labeled as a pervert,” Sunghoon said, rushing back to the front door, “I’m going to sit outside.” 

“Yeah same here,” Jake jumped from the couch, following his best friend out. 

Heeseung finally looked at Jay, who was already staring back at him. 

You watched as their eyes communicated with each other in a silent language that you didn’t know. Then with a nod Heeseung turned and followed Jake out, closing the door behind him. 

Jay’s eyes were back on you, his facial expression still not changing. 

“What? Not going to follow your friends out?” 

He shrugged, “Someone has to make sure you don’t steal our shit and make a run for it.” 

You glared at him and scoffed, “I survived for months with less than what you have here, my safe zone didn’t have anything and I made it perfectly fine even after I was bit and couldn’t return back. I have no need for your stuff.” 

Which was true. You survived perfectly fine without the gifts the bigger safe zones had. And then with you having to hunt for your food and survive on less than your safe zone. You didn’t need his shit. You were perfectly fine. 

Jay just shrugged again, crossing his arms behind him as he kept his eyes on you. And you took it as a challenge. 

You slid your shirt from your body and let it hit the floor, keeping eye contact with him as your fingers went to your jeans, unbuttoning and dropping them to your ankles. 

Jay was completely unfazed as he looked at you with nothing but your sports bra and panties on. He was more focused on the scars that covered both your arms. 

“What are those from?” he asked. You already knew where his eyes were looking. 

“Happened the same day I was bitten,” you said, now looping your fingers into your sports bra and pulling it over your head, “I had to jump through a window before I got killed by our lovely undead friends outside the safe zone.” 

Jay wanted to ask about how you even got into the situation that led to getting bitten and jumping through a window. Shit had to have been rough. 

Jay continued looking over your body, eyes stopping at your breasts and then back up to your eyes. You smirked at him, “Not going to turn around?” 

He once again shrugged, “Like you said, I have bigger things to worry about than seeing a naked woman in front of me.” 

You quickly scanned him up and down, not seeing any signs that your almost completely naked body was affecting him, “Does it not bother you?” 

“It’s just skin, YN.” 

Fair enough. 

You dropped your panties to the floor and climbed into the tub, stinking your body in completely, letting the hot water fill you with warmth for a few seconds before turning the knob to stop the flow of water. 

Jay watched you relax, watched as your hands rubbed up and down your scarred arms. He wanted to press more about them, to ask how it was possible you even survived whatever happened, mostly with how your bite is clearly infected from not being taken care of properly. 

“Are you going to keep staring at me or what??” 

“Would you rather I sit down and whip my dick out?” he narrows his eyes at you. 

“Fucking prick,” you scowled. 

“Don’t ask stupid fucking questions then.” 

“We just met and you’ve already seen me naked and it had no effect on you yet you keep staring at me. I think I deserve to ask the “stupid” questions.” 

You just stared back at him, trying to read his face but getting nothing. 

To be honest, sex was the last thing on Jay’s mind. He’s been through way too much bullshit to let some random woman and her cunt affect him that easily. It’s not even that he was disinterested in sex, he had plenty of women around the safe zone that would drop to their knees so fast for him. Plenty of women he’s taken to his bed and pleasured them all night long. But sex wasn’t something he needed to survive like how so many other people in safe zones act like and turn to in a way to forget that the world went to shit. Jay couldn’t afford to let that happen with him. 

Plus Jay didn’t even know you and wasn’t some asshole to force you into sex with him all because you stripped in front of him. 

You eventually looked away from him, giving up on trying to read him, “Can I have a washcloth and soap?” 

Jay walked to one of the cabinets, pulled out a new bar of soap, a washcloth, and some old shampoo, and then handed them all to you, you mumbled out a thanks. 

You all of a sudden felt guilty, thinking maybe Jay possibly had a girlfriend or even a wife and you just bared yourself to him. But then wiped that thought off the table, there was no way. Because if he did he would be with them, not some smuggler. Then another thought came into your head and it was so simple: maybe he just didn’t find you attractive. 

You felt your self-esteem plummet and any confidence you had was out the window. You already figured you had a fair body, curvy hips, and busty breasts. The boy back home you used to fuck around with was always finding ways to bend you over. It boosted your ego, but maybe it boosted it too high if some random stranger’s dick didn’t get hard at the sight of you stripping in front of him. 

Jay read your expressions like a book, getting more confused than anything at why you’d let what he thinks affect you. You clearly were strong-willed and a survivor, already proving enough that you didn’t need the fancy things to keep surviving. So why let those small stupid thoughts affect you that way? 

Jay went to confront you, but the knocking at the door pulled him back, turning his head slightly to listen, “Jungkook is here,” Heeseung called from the other side of the door. 

Jay looked back at you, “You can go deal with whatever that is,” you said as you ran the washcloth over your arms, “I promise I won’t steal anything or go anywhere. Don’t know my way around this zone anyways.” 

Which was true, you were so focused on not being seen that you wouldn’t remember the way to sneak out. 

Jay just nodded, turning around and heading for the door, “Just so you know,” he said stopping at the door, “I might seem like a pervert for saying it, but you do have a sexy body, and don’t let anyone tell you differently or make you think differently. Don’t take it not affecting me personally, I truly have more important things to worry about than getting laid.”  

Then he slipped out the door, leaving you alone in the house. 

Jungkook stood on the grass with his hands on his hips, eyes wandering everywhere, making sure no one else was about to hear what he was fixing to speak about. 

“What’s up?” Jay asked, standing beside Heeseung. 

“Her bite mark,” Jungkook started, “It looks about a month old, ya?” 

All four men nodded, “It’s what she told us too, on the way here,” Jake said, “Don’t know how true that could be though.” 

“There’s been some rumors—strictly just rumors—that there’s been a few others that have been found immune,” Jungkook said barely above a whisper, his eyes continuing to dart around the area. 

“How is that possible?” Heeseung asked, “Three years and there has yet to be a cure to stop this madness and now you’re telling me there are others like her that are immune?” 

“There were others like her,” Jungkook sighed, “They either were killed before they got to the capital or killed themselves before being taken there. But again, it’s baseless rumors. No proof, until her.” 

Sunghoon scoffed, “Can we please get to the point of all this?” 

“Hoon,” Heeseung said with a warning. 

“I contacted the capital and told them we found an immune,” The four men stood in silence, staring at Jungkook, not knowing what to say or expect next, “So,” Jungkook was smirking now, “I have a job for you four.” 

Jake chuckled, “You’re fucking crazy, man.”

Jungkook shot him a warning look, a silent reminder of who he was and what his rank was, “At least hear my offer first before calling me crazy,” Jake crossed his arms and waited for Jungkook to continue, “One million. Each. If you drag her across the country to the capital.” 

One million. Each. That’s four million dollars. They would be fucking set, no longer having to worry about fighting for money to buy food and survive. No longer having to leave the safe zone to smuggle shit in and out for money. They would be safe to finally just live. But the problem lies in the trip. And that trip wasn’t worth it. 

“Nah,” Jake laughed, “You got me fucked up. I am a smuggler, not an escort. Make the government come pick her ass up. Not my circus, not my monkeys.” 

Everyone’s eyes were back on Jungkook. He shrugged, “They have other things to worry about besides making that trip to pick up one individual. Plus it would make a scene if they flew in here and just took her. It would make it obvious that there are immune in this world. It would cause a panic, give the people false hope for a cure.” 

Jay watched as each of his friends shook their heads, saying how it wasn’t worth it to drag a stranger across the fucking country to hand you over just for the possibility of a cure being found. 

They all talked over each other, Jungkook trying to convince them with all the money they would have, and the three others not accepting it. 

“Fucking hell, I’ll go alone,” Jay said without even realizing he was opening his mouth. 

“Jay, no!” Heeseung snapped, “That bitch ain’t worth it! We stick to our normal jobs!” 

Jay looks at Jungkook, “If I take her alone will we still get four million total?” Jungkook nodded, and that’s all Jay needed. 

“You’re fucking stupid, man!” Sunghoon hissed, “What are you thinking?!” 

“That we would be fucking set and not have to beg ever again for food or work our asses off in this stupid prison for money and food. To never have to worry about stepping foot outside this zone. To remain safe,” Jay didn’t realize he was holding his breath as he said that, taking a massive inhale in and clenching his fingers against his biceps, “When would we leave?” 

“Tomorrow night, It’ll give me enough time to let the capital know you accepted their offer and to gather enough weapons and materials for your journey.” 

Jay just nodded, “I am doing this, and you can’t stop me.” 

Heeseung gritted his teeth, “And what if they kill her the moment you hand her over?” 

Jay just shrugs, “Not my circus, not my monkeys. But at least we’ll have four million dollars.” 

—

You covered your hands over your ears, closing your eyes tightly. Your breathing was uneven as you heard your heartbeat in your ears, Jay’s voice was muffled and drowning out of the sound of your heartbeat and the screams of the undead surrounding the area. 

“YN!!” he said loud enough for you to hear him but quiet enough for the undead to not hear him, “YN, calm down!” 

You couldn’t hear him, you just knew he was speaking to you. The memories of being cornered in the building resurfaced. The sounds of your friends screaming, the smells of the dead, and the blood dripping from everyone. The visions of you feeling your best friend being ripped away from you. Everything was replying over and over. 

You started to hyperventilate, your every breath loud enough to draw the undead in your and Jay’s direction. 

Jay grabbed both of your wrists, trying to pull them from your ears, him repeating your name over and over again but nothing worked. 

“Fuck,” he hissed, taking a look around. The two of you were in a safe enough spot that the zombies wouldn’t be able to reach you, but once they found where you both were hiding…it was over. 

Jay placed his hands on top of yours, “YN, look at me.” But you didn’t respond, your breathing getting worse as the time ticked by. 

He was running out of ways to calm you down and get you to be quiet. His heart was racing faster as fear was overtaking him and his options running low. 

Jay slides his hands to your cheeks, his thumbs rubbing over the back of your hands at your ears. Without another thought, he moved forward. 

**A WEEK BEFORE**

Jay forced you to get as much rest as possible to be awake enough for the start of the journey to the capital. 

Jungkook said it would be a five-month walk there if everything went smoothly and no hiccups on the road on the way there. Or ya know, the two of you don’t get killed. 

The moment Jungkook knocked on the door to the house, Heeseung quickly answered, swinging the door open to let him slip in before anyone could see. 

He carried two backpacks filled with food, medicine, and weapons and ammunition. 

“This should last you both the five-month journey,” He said, pushing his tongue into the side of his cheek, “That's if you ration the food and the ammunition. Just don’t put yourselves into situations to have to use too much.” 

Jay scoffed, sliding the backpack onto his shoulders, “Don’t you know who you’re talking to?” 

Jungkook chuckled, pulling him into a quick hug, “Safe travels.”

Jungkook didn’t say another word as he darted out of the house, Heeseung closing and locking the door behind him. 

“You don’t have to do this,” Jake said with a shake of his head, “There’s no need to do this. We’ve survived perfectly fine before.” 

Jay has been weighing out his options ever since agreeing to do this. Always leaning toward taking this trip. He didn’t want to watch his brothers suffer anymore. Yeah they all weren’t struggling, but they would be so much better off once that money was in his hands. 

The amount of food they would have to fill their bellies, not having to worry about rationing. Not having to shove money away just to save up for the food, more clothes, and the other bills this safe zone forced on the residents here. They wouldn’t have to smuggle ever again. Jungkook could get off their backs about certain jobs. They would be free. 

“I have to do this,” Jay breathes, “I want to do this.” 

And hey, who knows? Maybe giving her off to the capital will make a cure and the world could be saved. Maybe. 

Sunghoon pulls Jay’s shotgun from the hidden closet, “Just don’t do anything stupid, ya?” 

Jay chuckled, “I’ll leave the stupid here with you three.” 

Everyone laughed but you and Heeseung, who stood at the door still and leaning against the wall, arms crossed and his face filled with worry. 

You have only known these guys for a short time, but you can tell each of them rely on each other for everything. Whatever terrible things these four had to endure before the outbreak and even after…they became family. Inseparable. Bonded for the rest of their lives. 

Jay pulled the younger two into hugs, saying how he’ll be back within a year. 

Heeseung pushed himself off the wall, dropping his arms to pull Jay into a hug, the older locking his jaw when he looked at you, “You come back in one piece, got it!”

Jay rolled his eyes, “You know I will Hee.” 

Heeseung pulled away, finally looking away from you, “She better be worth all this fucking trouble,” he whispers, eyes quickly darting to you to see you adjusting your backpack on your shoulders, “What will you do if they actually kill her the moment you get there?” 

Jay just shrugs, “Not my problem once the money is in my hands.” 

Heeseung sighs, “She’s still a human being. I can only imagine how life has been since finding out she was immune.” 

Jay tilted his head back to look at you, to look at the wrap that barely stuck out of your long-sleeve shirt. “She probably has been through hell to keep it a secret.” 

You look back up at them, “Ready to go yet or are you two going to make out before we leave?” 

Heeseung rolled his eyes, “Good luck with that attitude man,” 

Jay sighed, “Yeah. I’ll need it.” 

It didn’t take the two of you long to leave the house and quickly and quietly make your way back to the same tunnels and escape route you used to get into the safe zone. 

Jay helped pull you out of the manhole then kicked the metal plate back over it and locked it tightly. 

He swung his shotgun from his back to his front, positioning his hands in the right places before walking ahead of you, “Come on, let’s get this over with Miss Immune.” 

You snarl at him but follow behind anyway. 

This was the last thing you wanted to happen. To be turned into the capital. To be used as some experiment and plaything for scientists to gock over. 

“Might as well just kill me and get it over with,” you scoffed, keeping your eyes on the ground, stepping over everything Jay was, “They will just kill me eventually.” 

Jay shrugged, “You’re worth four million to them, they can do whatever they want after they have you in their hands.” 

“Such a gentleman,” you teased, “Did your mother ever teach you how to treat a lady?” 

He chuckles, “My manners went out the window the moment you pointed a gun at my head.” 

You glared at the back of his head, “Says the one that surrounded me with four shotguns and then pointed my pistol directly to my forehead.”

Jay said nothing in return and kept walking forward. Eventually slinging his gun back around his back, shoving his hands into his pockets. 

Neither of you spoke for hours as the night pressed on. The woods were quiet, a bit too quiet for your liking and the only thing making you feel at ease was the fact Jay kept his gun resting on his back and hands shoved into his pockets. He obviously knew these woods better than you. He was a smuggler, after all. 

Even after all the sleep you received back at the house, drowsiness found you anyway. You yawned and rubbed your eyes, “Can we find somewhere to sleep?” 

Jay didn’t realize how tired he was either until after hearing your voice, a yawn escaping his lips as well, “There’s a small shed we’ve used when our smuggling routes take a couple of days, we can stop there to eat and sleep.”

“How far is it?” you asked, not knowing how much longer you could actually go. 

Jay looks at the surrounding area before he answers, “About another hour.” 

You groaned but accepted it. Soon enough the small shed came into view. It was overgrown with vines and weeds but still stood strong. 

Sleep hit you the minute you dropped into the dusty cot, not caring enough to clean it. Jay did the same. 

The moment the sun started to shine through the shed, Jay woke you up and started the journey again. 

The whole day passed in silence, only speaking when spoken to and only stopping for food, bathroom breaks, and to rest. 

A week has passed when the two of you approach an old factory building. A long chain-linked fence surrounded the area. 

“Shit,” Jay scoffed, “We’ll have to cut through.” 

“Can’t just, like you know, go around?” it was such a simple question, yet Jay looked at you as if you asked the stupidest question in the world, “Fine!” you snapped, holding your hands up in defense, “You’re the one who knows better, right?” 

“We’d waste time going around,” Jay locks his fingers around the holes of the fence, “Every second counts, plus this place might have materials we can gather.” 

And there he goes, climbing up and over the fence, carefully dropping himself back to the ground and turning to face you, “Well?” he raised a brow, “Get your ass moving.” 

You roll your eyes and attach your fingers and toes of your boots in the loops, lifting yourself up, crawling to the top, and swinging your leg over the top, “Catch me?” 

Jay narrowed his eyes, “You survived by yourself for god knows how long before meeting me, and now you’re acting like you need help?” 

“I’m scared of heights,” 

“You’re fucking joking.” 

You smile, clearly loving how he reacts to your teasing, “Yeah I’m fucking with you,” you dropped down to the ground, Jay’s hands quickly resting on your shoulders to keep you from losing balance, “Learn to live a little, okay?” 

His glare was unrelenting as you walked past him, “I lived plenty before the world ended.” 

You watched as he hurried past you, wanting to ask what he meant. To know some part of how he was before the world went to utter shit. You were stuck with him for five months, might as well get to actually know him, right? 

You opened your mouth to ask him, only to be met with his hands now on you. One covering your mouth and the other pulling you to his chest, backing the both of you up against a truck, “Keep quiet, we have company.” 

Your eyes wander to where he was looking, seeing the few undead friends that lurked around the entrance to the factory. 

You pulled his hand from your mouth, catching your breath and assessing what to do. 

“We need to find a way around without alerting them.” 

“I already know that, YN,” he whispers, “The question is how.” 

Jay searched the area, pinpointing every safe spot that led to the door. 

“Okay,” he released you from his grip, “Stay on my ass.” 

You followed on his heels, holding your breath the entire way until his hands touched the handle of the factory door and pushed it open. 

You glanced around at your undead friends who stalked around, their bodies bunched over as they slowly dragged their feet with each step they took, grunts leaving their mouths. 

Jay peaked into the factory, the only light showing was from the windows, barely giving off enough light for him to confirm the opening at least, was clear. 

He carefully and quickly slid between the doors, reaching back out to pull you in behind him, closing the door and locking it for extra protection. 

You both took in the factory. It was a complete mess. Tables, papers, machinery, torn clothes, and everything in between covered the floors. The smell of this place was disgusting. The mixture of oils, grease, blood, and dead things—probably both humans, zombie, and animals—filled the air. 

You tried to not throw up your lunch, covering your mouth with your hand, “I don’t like it here.” 

“That makes two of us,” Jay said softly, “Taking a flashlight from his backpack, “Let’s get moving, and keep quiet, we don’t know what’s in here.” 

You followed behind him at a distance, eyes wandering over everything possible, looking for any material that could aid you both. But so far, nothing. Everything was either broken or just couldn’t be used. Nothing of help or a service to either of you. 

Jay had a bad feeling about this place, like whatever happened here was a lot worse than the remnants of this place give off. It was way too quiet to just be abandoned. His gut feeling told him to look for anything—and everything—possible that would stick out. Things that shouldn’t be here. He swallowed hard, flashing his light down to the floor, seeing scratch marks going in every direction, dried blood staining the tile. 

Then it clicked in his head. Everything made sense. 

This whole factory was a trap. 

This place wasn’t abandoned. Not even close. It was purposely left like this to lure in survivors, making them think they found a safe place to hide. Whoever ran this factory obviously wasn’t here, or else something would have already gone wrong. “YN,” he whispers, “This place is a trap.” 

“I know,” you said with a shaky breath. Jay was alerted to the tone of your voice, whipping around to see the tears swelling your eyes. He traced his eyes down, seeing the cord you’ve stepped on, “Something clicked when I stepped on it,” you tried to hold back the tears, to look brave in front of him, to look like a survivor. But you failed, the fear washing over you too quickly, “Jay,” you cried. 

“Shhh, no, hey,” he quickly gets closer to you, placing a hand on your shoulder, “Calm down, let me figure out what to do.” 

You nodded, feeling a tear slide down your cheek. Jay lifted his hand and wiped away the tear, cupping your face and tracing his fingers along your jaw as he walked away from you, following where the cord led. It was plugged into one of the machines. He wandered his eyes back to the other end of the core, following it back to your feet, and then continued to where it was plugged into the wall. Jay wasn’t stupid, he knew if he just unplugged the cord it would make the machine react. He and Jake have rigged multiple machines to still set off if unplugged. The only way would be to cut the cord completely. 

Jay knelt to his knees, setting the flashlight to the floor and sliding a folded knife from his pocket, whipping it open. He took a deep breath, counting down from three before folding the cord and cutting it. 

You cry out and drop to your knees, covering your hands over your ears at the ringing alarm that Jay set off. 

“Fuck!” He screamed, quickly standing back to his knees and rushing to you, “We need to fucking go, NOW!” 

Whoever this bastard was that rigged that trap was a damned genius, an absolute asshole, but a genius. To rig a machine to set off an alarm when cut? The more Jay thought about it as he dragged you back up to your feet, the more he realized the alarm would have been set off either way. Cutting the power in either way would have set the alarm off. 

The two of you barely took a few steps when the sounds of the undead surrounded the factory outside, because, of course, it would. That damn alarm just alerted whatever was outside—and inside—this factory. He needed to get that alarm off, and now. 

Jay dragged you with him to what looked like the office of the building, not wasting time checking for a button or way to turn it off. He whipped the shotgun around and sent bullets into every control panel until the alarm went silent. 

But unfortunately, Jay letting some rounds into the panel only sent whatever dead friends that were in the building to their exact location. 

Jay grabbed your hand and pulled you out of the office, running as fast as he could and praying your legs could keep up with him. This wasn’t the first time he’s had to run from these monsters, or even hide from them. It wasn’t a skill he wanted to mark off his checklist of survival but had no nevertheless. You’ve only had to run from them the night your friends were killed while you fled. Your legs felt like they were led to the memory coming back. 

You started to lose your breath, the fear covering every inch of you as you tried to focus on Jay’s back, on the warmth of his hand wrapped in yours. It worked for a bit as he dragged you down every hallway to find an exit. Worked until you both ran past a door, that just so happened to have zombies crawling inside it, who watched the two of you run back. 

You heard the crack of the door first, Jay heard it the second time. His head whips around to see the wood of the door barely breaking and see them pile out of the room. 

Jay acted fast, shoving you into an office room he prayed was safe. His eyes worked their magic, scanning as quickly as he could and seeing the room was in fact, clear. His hands only left you for a few seconds to close the door carefully, praying they didn’t hear it. But obviously, and because why would they not, heard the shut of the door anyway, alerting them in this direction. 

They ran past, obviously not knowing which room you two snuck into, but their loud groans, hisses, and whales were loud enough to send every zombie on this side of the factory toward this hallway. 

Which is how you ended up here. Back pressed to the wall, hands to your ears as you hyperventilate. 

He was running out of ways to calm you down and get you to be quiet. His heart was racing faster as fear was overtaking him and his options running low. 

Jay slides his hands to your cheeks, his thumbs rubbing over the back of your hands at your ears. Without another thought, he moved forward. 

He connected his lips to yours, taking in every breath you let out. You opened your eyes quickly, seeing him staring back at you. You focused on the brown of his eyes, focused on the way his lips felt against yours. Your heart rate slowed, and the shaking of your hands stopped. It wasn’t even like he was kissing you kissing you, he just held his lips to yours, unmoving. 

You waited for him to pull away, to pull away and tease you for being a scary cat. But he didn’t. 

His eyes slowly closed, quickly removing his lips and connecting them again, pressing his lips harder to yours. You also closed your eyes, kissing him back. Your hands at your ears, slipped down to his wrists, squeezing them tightly as he shifted his hands to the edge of your jaw, fingers gripping the back of your head. 

Jay doesn’t know what came over him, he only planned to kiss you once and have it be long enough to steady out your breathing. But something drew him in and he couldn’t stop. 

Jay licks your bottom lip, waiting for your mouth to open and let him inside. His tongue explored every inch of your mouth as you sucked on the muscle, savoring the taste of him. 

His grip on your face tightens as he softly groans into your mouth, clearly losing himself. Knowing he needed to stop but not being able to. The feel of your lips being addicting. 

You need to stop, you need to stop, you need to stop. 

The sounds of the zombies outside the door faded, the world finally becoming quiet and it was enough to make him stop. 

Jay quickly pushed away from you, sliding himself across the floor and to the other side of the office, completely out of breath. He brought his knees to his chest in hopes of hiding the raging boner in his pants, dropping his face into his palms, then running them through his hair. 

You took a few deep breaths, not taking your eyes off him. 

“We will give it time before leaving, to make sure everything is clear to leave,” he said, doing everything he could to not look at you. 

You nodded as if he could see it anyway. And not another word was spoken. 

—

It’s been two months since he’s kissed you. Two months' worth of him doing everything to not look at you, to not touch you. He barely has been able to even speak to you. Reminding himself over and over again what his true mission was: to hand you over to the capital, get paid, and get his ass back home. Nothing else mattered. 

Nothing. 

You dropped to your knees, wiping the sweat from your forehead, “Jay?” he ignored you and kept walking forwards, “Jay!” silence, “ASSHOLE!!!” 

Jay turned around, piercing holes into you with his eyes that were also on fire at you calling him an asshole. At least it finally got his attention. 

“I am tired,” you breathed, wiping the sweat that was already recollected on your forehead. 

“Okay, and?” he said calmly. If it weren’t for the fire burning in his eyes you would have thought he was actually calm. But Jay couldn’t afford to be nice to you, not when he’s fighting every demon within himself to not press his lips against yours again. Not when he has four million dollars waiting for him. 

You glared back at him, “I need rest? We’ve been walking for days straight and only took a couple of breaks to sleep for an hour.” 

“How the fuck did you survive alone for so long?” he questioned, starting to think maybe you just hid the entire time before they found you, “what happened to that attitude when we first met?” 

You stood back to your feet, quickly walking past him and shoving your middle finger in his face, barely grazing his nose, “Want my attitude? Here it is asshat.” 

Jay smirked as he watched you walk ahead of him, eyes without his permission moving from the back of your head down to your hips, watching the way they sway. Jay scoffed at himself, quickly dropping his eyes to the ground and rushing after you, “Smartass, you don’t even know where you are going.” 

You stopped walking, staring straight ahead. 

But Jay didn’t stop, and ran right into you, almost knocking you over completely, his hands quickly grabbing your shoulders. His rage settled in again, “What the fuck! Don’t just stop wa—“ 

“Long time no see, Jay Park.” 

He moved on autopilot, hands rushing to your waist and shoving your behind him in the same motion of wiping his gun from his back to front, finger itching to pull the trigger, “Same to you, Choi Soobin. What are you doing so far out from your zone?” 

The blonde smirked, “Was on a smuggle run, but shouldn’t I be asking you that question, Jay?” 

 A laugh from behind, “Yeah, aren’t you the one who is a little too far from your zone?”

You pulled your pistol from its holster, facing your back to Jay’s and pointing it at a blue-haired man. 

Jay narrowed his eyes, snaking one hand behind him to grab your shirt, pulling you closer to him, back to back, keeping his shotgun aimed at Soobin, “I am also on a smuggling run, Huening Kai, just passing through.” 

“You know,” a voice to his right, “This is our territory, there is just no passing through here.” 

Jay was barely able to glare to his right, seeing Beomgyu pointing a rifle at you and him. 

Then another laugh to the left of him, his eyes darting to see Taehyun walking closer, also pointing his rifle, “Jay, did you really think we wouldn’t have seen you two when you got close to our zone?” 

Jay just chuckled, not because of the fact they were even close to another zone, but because he let themselves get close to another zone. He was so caught up in trying to ignore you and push down his demons that he didn’t realize how close he pulled you both here. But he kept laughing, “What I think is Yeonjun is missing out, isn’t he? My feelings hurt that he isn’t here.” 

Soobin just smiled, “You think my brothers would just leave me behind?” Yeonjun said, finally making his appearance from behind Soobin, “That wounds me.” 

Jay just rolls his eyes, “Are we done here? I have important shit to do.” 

“Like what?” the blonde leader asked, his eyes darting behind Jay to look at you, “What are you smuggling, exactly?” 

You pressed your back harder against Jay’s, feeling his hand tighten at your shirt. 

Soobin just tilts his head, his smile growing wider, “Don’t tell me it’s the girl.” 

Your heart stopped and Jay kept quiet, not having a damn thing to say as a comeback. The only thing on his mind was to protect you, to keep you so close to him that he could fuse with you if possible. 

But Jay knew telling the truth, or well parts of it, was the only way to get around when it came to these five. Jay has dealt with them enough in the past to know how they work, “I’m taking her to the capital.” 

“Jay!” you snapped. 

“Shut up!” was his reply to you, “She’s important to the capital and I have been tasked to get her there. We honestly were just passing through, it’s my bad we got too close.” 

Soobin looked between the eyes of each of his brothers, each of them giving him nods and shrugs, “It’s getting late, don’t want you getting caught up with our…walking dead at night. Stay in our zone for the night.”

Jay wanted to say no, to say they were fine. But the death truth was they were running low on supplies. Needed clean clothes and showers. Your bite mark needed to be cleaned, which is why Jay thinks you’re been more out of it the last few days than normal. He knew you also needed some proper sleep and not being able to find any safe place in days to actually give you that rest killed him, “Fine. We leave at first light.” 

You wanted to protest, turning around completely to yell at him, to reject their offer for him. But all he did was grab your waist and pull you to his side, lowering his gun over to his shoulder and giving you the look of warning to keep your mouth shut. So you didn’t fight him. You needed to stay alive anyway, who knew what would happen to Jay, Heeseung, Jake, Sunghoon, and Jungkook if Jay failed to get you to the capital. And you didn’t want to think about it. So you clung to his side as everyone walked forward, Beomgyu and Taehyun standing at yours and Jay’s side as Kai stayed behind you, and Soobin and Yeonjun leading the way. 

“Where are your three stooges at?” Yeonjun asked, barely turning his head around to smile at Jay, “Not used to seeing you as a lone wolf.” 

You tuned out their conversation, keeping your eyes locked off into the distance, biting your lip to keep from talking. You don't know how Jay knew these five or why they obviously seem to be on bad terms, the last thing you needed to do was open your mouth and make it all worse. 

Huening Kai kept eyeing you and Jay, looking for anything possible to tell him more about what was actually going on with the two of you. Jay isn’t ever by himself without the other three. And Jay isn’t the type of person to smuggle a human, drugs and weapons were more his and his friend's forte, so why did he have you attached to him as if they were going to rip you away from him? 

“Ahhh,” Kai giggled, there’s feelings involved. He kept his eyes wandering, barely glancing over to your arm and back up to your shoulder before tracing them quickly back down, seeing the bandage peeking out from your long sleeve, “Haha! Holy shit guys! She’s been bit.” 

Just as quick as the five of them turned to face the two of you, pointing their weapons, Jay was pulling you to his chest and snapping your pistol from its holster at your hip and pointing it straight ahead at Soobin and Yeonjun. 

“Holy shit is right, man,” Yeonjun laughed, “No fucking wonder you’re out here alone, Jay. Going to the capital, my ass.” 

Fucking Huening Kai.

The grip on your waist tightened, Jay snarling at each of them, “It’s not what you think it is.” 

“Oh? It’s not?” Soobin hissed, his friendly cute persona being replaced with his cool, hard, leader persona, “Give me a reason to not kill you both right fucking now.”

“Because she was hurt,” Jay said quickly, “We’ve been traveling for two months. We had to climb a fence and she got herself caught. That’s it.” 

You could hear how fast Jay’s heart was racing in his chest, how hard his body went the moment Kai opened his mouth. He pushed you even closer to him, leaving no room between the two of you. 

The rage Jay felt course through his body was scaring him. The thoughts he had in his head on the ways he would kill all five of them just by pointing a gun at you. It was scaring him at the things he was willing to do to protect you. Scaring him because he didn’t understand why. 

“What does the capitol want with her then?” Soobin asked, clearly not believing the story, “What’s so special?” 

Jay just shrugged, “Beats me. And nor do I care to know. All I know is I’m getting a fat paycheck for getting her there.” The hurt you felt at his words when his actions towards you right now were the opposite. You felt confused. First, he kisses you the way he did back at the factory, then turns completely cold and now he’s got you pressed to his chest, grip unrelenting as he points your gun at the threat in front of him. Maybe all he really did care about was the money. 

To Jay’s surprise, each of them lowered their weapons, “There’s the Jay I know,” Soobin teased, “Let’s just get back in the zone before the dead decide to get us to join them.” 

Everyone walked in silence the rest of the short walk to the safe zone and to your surprise, they didn’t sneak back into the zone, their military guards just…let them in? You looked up at Jay, him already answering you in a whisper without looking back at you, “This safe zone is full of smugglers and corrupted police, it’s how they survive here. The normal citizens and police don’t know how corrupt it is. They are very very sneaky. It’s one of the most dangerous zones right now.” 

You didn’t answer. Just put your eyes back in front of you as you all entered the zone. Jay pulled you closer to him again, his eyes darting to every person who looked his way, who looked your way. 

“We have one room available for you two to share,” Soobin said pointing at the small building to his left, “We will come by tomorrow to let you back out of the zone. Until then I suggest you stay inside, or at least keep her inside. There are clean clothes and some fruit in there too.” 

They still don’t trust us. 

Jay pulled you along with him, the other five watching as the two of you entered the building. 

“What are you thinking?” Soobin asked Kai, who had his arms wrapped tightly across his chest, blue hair blowing in the wind as he narrowed his eyes at the building. 

“If she wasn’t bitten, then what could be so special that Jay protected her like that? Besides the obvious attraction, he feels. But something is off. The caption doesn't want just anybody, not anyone from this side of the country at least,” Kai took his chin between two fingers and looked up at the dark sky. Picturing the way your bandage was wrapped around your wrist, there was no way you weren’t bitten. It was wrapped in a way to hide what was there, not to cover up some wounds…unless, “She is immune.” 

Jay let you bathe first, him keeping his eye pointed out the window as he popped a grape into his mouth. He didn’t trust the five boys either, not when they stood in a circle in the same exact place, clearly discussing what to do about the two of them, “If you keep staring at them you’ll just give them more reasons to not trust us, we just need to get through the night.” 

Jay looks over at you, seeing the way you dangle your arms over the bathtub, resting your chin on white porcelain, “Neither I nor them trust each other and you’re worth a shit ton of money, I’ll keep him eye on them if I want to,” without another word, he looks back out the window. You sigh and resume your bath then get out and quickly change, letting Jay now soak in the tub. 

You fell asleep faster than you thought and it pissed Jay off. How could you sleep so easily? But the more he looked at your sleeping body, eyes darting to your bite mark, the wound no longer continued to bleed or be filled with pus but now red and irritated. The longer he looked, the more he relaxed, realizing you’ve been through enough shit. You deserved some actual rest. 

Jay couldn’t afford to rest though. He left the room, breaking the doorknob once the door was shut, securing a way no one else could get in to hurt you. Shoving his hands into his pockets, he left the building in search of food and other materials to replenish what you and he had used over the last two months. 

He hated being here. Jay spent enough time over the last couple of years smuggling shit in and out of this place. It’s the main reason why Soobin and his dogs don’t like him and his friends. One major rule of smuggling in this world is to stay out of other smugglers' zones. But hey, if the money was good, Jay and his team did it. 

Jay was barely able to walk away from a stall selling canned food when he ran into Yeonjun, “Was wondering if I’d run into you,” he smiled, folding his hands behind his back, “Should have known you’d be out restocking your supplies.” 

Jay just rolls his eyes, “What do you want? I have sleep to catch.” 

“Hmm,” Yeonjun hummed, following behind Jay, “I want to ask you again about your girl.” 

“She’s not my girl,” Jay hissed, “Just someone I am taking to—“

“I know she’s immune.” 

Jay turned on his heels quickly, pointing a finger into Yeonjun’s face, “Shut the fuck up! Keep your fucking mouth shut!” 

But he only smirked, “So our suspensions are true?” 

“No!” Jay scoffed, dropping his hand, “You can’t just throw around the word immune without it causing chaos, you know this, you dumbass.” 

Yeonjun shrugs, “You’re willing to turn your girlfriend into the capital so easily? When she has a gift everyone would kill to have? She isn’t safe out there.” 

Jay narrowed his eyes, trying to read Yeonjun’s face for any hint of what he was trying to pull. But then it clicked with him. Soobin is the one who usually is the head of the battle. The first to step up and say or do anything. Yeonjun is also attached to Soobin as his second. But the fact Yeonjun is here right now…without Soobin…Jay’s heart nearly stopped. He slowly backed away. They were planning something and Yeonjun was being used as a distraction. 

“You know the capital will kill her, Jay!” he chuckles, “They will kill her the moment you hand her over. Your precious love will die.” 

Jay stopped listening as he made a full sprint back to the room. 

—

Jay didn’t continue breathing until he stepped foot into the room, seeing you sleeping peacefully. 

He took a couple of deep breathes, placing a hand on the wall to steady himself, giving him only a few seconds of deep breathing before pushing off the wall and packing up both backpacks, “YN,” he calls to you, his heart rate increasing with each second longer you stayed here, “YN!!” 

You jolted awake, slowly lifting yourself from the bed and seeing Jay rushing around the room in a hurry, “What?” you barely were able to get the words out without a yawn creeping out afterward. 

“We need to go. Like now.” 

You didn’t like the desperation in his voice, and you sure didn’t like the way he was rushing around to gather all your things into the backpacks. Something was wrong and it made your stomach drop, “Why? What happened?” 

Jay told you about the encounter with Yeonjun, and how he thinks they are planning something, explaining how Soobin and his team work. You didn’t understand it. 

“How are you so sure they are even planning anything?” You asked, now following him around the room as he paced to gather everything, “They let us stay here?” 

Jay stopped pacing, his hands immediately grabbing your face, “They know you’re immune. And they are smugglers, YN. I know how they think. They are going to keep you here and probably sell you to the highest bidder, the thing those people would do to you…” Jay didn’t even want to think about what those nasty people would do. The worst thing is to use you as experiments to find a cure on their own without the capital which will result in killing you, or them using you as their own plaything, forcing you to produce offspring in hopes of more people being born with the immunity. Either way, he wasn’t going to let it happen. 

He couldn’t let them take you from him. Couldn’t let them harm you in any way. He was going crazy just thinking about it all. He stepped away from you, “Get your boots on and quickly.” 

You did as you were told, slipping your feet into the boots and taking your backpack from him as he walked to the door, peeking out the windows before waving you to follow him. Jay already secured an escape route. He’s slipped in and out of this zone enough times to know every escape route possible. 

He kept you tugged tightly to him as you both left the building, quickly slipping into the alleyway. To say you were scared was an understatement. You still didn’t fully understand what was going on, mostly on Jay’s side. He seemed so ready to hand you over for the money, what difference would it make if he just left you here? Why go through the trouble of getting you out of this place? 

“Jay,” you called for him, but he ignored you. Just gripping your arm tighter as he led you in and out and around different buildings and alleyways. Stopping anytime someone walked by or got too close, Jay held his breath every single time as if it would help hide the two of you. But before he knew it, you both were approaching the fence, seeing the hole he and his team has used to get in and out was not patched up, “Fuck,” he cursed under his breath. 

Jay ran his hands through his hair, then grabbed your arm again, pulling you down the fence line. Eyes searching for an opening. Every safe zone had one. A little door in the fence that would lead out in case of evacuation. You’d need a military card to get access for it to open, but Jay had ways to break it. 

You both finally reached that door, the keycard scanner blinking green, showing it was working. Jay dropped the backpack to the ground, pulling out some tools. 

“What are you doing??” You whispered, eyes darting to her surrounding area, “What if you set off an alarm like last time?” 

Jay chuckled, “I’ve done this before, the factory was rigged from the start.” It was the first time even talking about the factory. Jay used the screwdriver's flat end to pry open the lid, looking at the series of wires, “Time to get to work.” You watched as he cut wires and replaced them, the little flashing green light turning red, then flashing back to green and the door unlocked and slowly opened, “Magic.” 

You rolled your eyes, “We don’t have time for this.” 

Jay threw the tools back into the backpack, quickly standing up and reaching for your hand. The two of you were barely three steps out of the zone when five figures with tickets pointing directly at you two appeared. Jay flung you behind him, aiming his shotgun at Soobin. 

“Should have known you’d try to escape,” the blonde boy hissed, “Couldn’t leave well enough alone, could you?” 

“I’m NOT letting you keep her here,” Jay barked back. 

Taehyun chuckled, “Why does it matter to you what we would do with her here? Don’t you only care about the money she’s worth?” 

“I don’t see four million dollars in your hands, Kang,” Jay snapped, eyes burning holes into Taehyun’s chest but kept his gun aimed at Soobin, “And since I don’t see the fucking money, we’re leaving.” 

“Just think what the capital would do,” Yeonjun said, “Far worse than her staying safe here.” 

Jay gritted his teeth, “You wouldn’t keep her safe. You’d use her!” 

The smile on Soobin’s face told him everything he needed to know. They were going to use you in any way possible and you weren’t going to survive it and if you did, you wouldn’t be the same. 

The five of them took one step closer and Jay felt like he was about to combust, “Take one more fucking step and I’ll shoot!” He yelled, darting the barrel at each of them. 

“It’s five against one,” Kai teased, taking another few steps forward, “What the fuck are you going—“ 

One moment Kai was standing, the next he was on the ground, blood pooling from his thigh. His hands were quickly covered in his own blood as he put pressure on the wound, his blue hair sticking to his face from the sweat he had just broken out in. Teeth gritting and eyes that could kill were staring right back at Jay. 

Kai’s four friends rushed to him, each of them now looking at Jay as well, “I fucking told you to not take another step. I’ll kill you all if you so much as lay a finger or come near her!!” 

Soobin’s smile was gone and replaced with pure rage, “Get the fuck out of my safe zone before I blow your brains out and feed you to the zombies out there.” 

You locked your jaw, gripping the barrel of Jay’s gun and forcing him to drop it, “Let’s fucking go!!” You snapped at him, fingers gripping the sleeve of his shirt, and pulling him away. 

“You’re going to regret your choices, Jongseong Park!” Huening Kai yelled, his voice echoing into the woods, “ROT IN FUCKING HELL!!” 

Jay stopped listening as he was now the one gripping your waist and leading you into the dark dangerous woods, the sounds of Kai’s screams and yelps becoming a distant noise. 

Once Jay felt like it was safer, he removed his hand from your waist, and quickly walked ahead of you, “What the fuck was that, Jay?” You asked harshly, moving your legs to keep up at his pace. 

“I told them to not take another step, and he did. He’ll suffer for his actions.” Jay didn’t know what you wanted to tell you, he did what he had to to get you out of there and he didn’t care if you agreed or not. 

“You could have killed him!!” Jay just shrugs and keeps on walking. You clenched your fists at your side, digging your fingers into the fabric of your jeans. 

“This is life as a smuggler,” Jay finally said after a few moments of silence, “You sometimes have to pull the trigger to survive.”

“We could have just run out!!” 

“No,” he hissed, “They wouldn’t have allowed that! I did what I had to!” 

“And it was wrong!” 

Jay stopped to turn and face you, the clear desperation and anger still on his face, “I don’t regret doing what needed to be done in order to protect you. I wasn’t going to let those assholes hurt you.” 

You tried to read his face and look for any signs of the truth. There was more to this than him just protecting you for the money. You were filled with more confusion as you looked at him, trying to read his cold eyes, but still found nothing. Jay quickly turned away from you and continued walking. You tried multiple more times to get him to explain his actions, but he kept ignoring you. And you eventually gave up for the night. 

—

To say over the next few days you’ve wanted nothing more than to bash Jay’s skull into the next tree you see would be an understatement. His attitude towards you got worse. He started to ignore you even more and only spoke to you to ask and make sure you were okay, if you were hungry, tired, or needed any rest. Outside of that? It’s like you didn’t exist. 

You tried asking a few times about his actions at the previous safe zone, to see what even prompted him to make such a choice when you could have just run out. The gate was already open, so shooting Kai wasn’t needed to survive. There could have been another way. 

Jay tried to fight off every feeling he felt. Specifically towards you and the other five back at the zone. Half of him wanted to go back and kill them all for so much thinking about using you, the other half of him wished he didn’t have to pull that trigger. He struggled to understand his feelings for you, the protectiveness he felt, the need to hold you close to him and keep you in his eyesight the entire time, the want to kiss you again, to feel your warmth. Everything mixed so deeply within him and confused him. Where did the lines blur? And where did they not? Is he wanting to protect you for that fat paycheck he’ll receive? Or is it because he actually wants to protect you? Does he want to keep you close because he wants to close or because to make sure you’re safe and unharmed once you’re handed off to the capital? Does he want to kiss you again because he hasn’t felt that sort of affection in a while, or because he actually wants to? He couldn’t wrap his head around it. Or maybe he just wanted to shove the feelings away. 

Jay was still deep in thought when something wet landed on his face. He stopped walking to glance up at the sky. You also looked up, a sigh leaving his lips, “Looks like it’s fixing to downpour.” 

“We need to get somewhere safe,” you said, looking back at the man in front of you, still trying to read his face. 

Jay just nods, then looks at the surrounding area, “There should be a cave around here. Let's go.” 

You wanted to ask him how he just knows that there is a cave nearby. It makes you question how many smuggling missions he’s gone on. How many times he risked his life out there time and time again? From his attitude and cold demeanor, it’s obvious he’s done this more times than he probably wanted to even count. 

You followed him nonetheless, followed alongside a mountain that eventually a tall chain-linked fence got attached to, leading to a gate that was already opened with vines and grass growing around it. 

“Was this a safe zone?” you asked, “it looks abandoned.” 

“Because it is,” Jay sighs, “It was a smaller one, could only fit a couple hundred. It’s a shame what happened to it.” 

You followed him past the gate and slowly to the hole in the mountain where a massive steel door stood at the entrance of the cave, “What happened?” 

There was a panel on the wall beside the door, showing that it needed a code for the door to open. You were about to lose hope, thinking you’d have to find another place, but Jay reached his hand to the panel, pressing 0428, and the door slowly opened. 

“How do you know the code?” 

“Used to make smuggling runs here when it was still an active zone,” he doesn’t so much even glance at you as he walks inside, “The people who aren’t a part of zones, who are against the government and zones altogether, a band of them came through here, tearing the place apart and left no survivors.” 

Your eyes dropped to the cave floor, “How could humans do such a thing.”

Jay sighs, “I wish I knew. I’m not any better, being a smuggler and doing my fair share of…anyways, what happened to these people, to this zone, it haunted other smaller zones, forcing them to leave and join the bigger ones or flee to the capital.” 

You watched as the cave floor turned from rough stone to polished stone, your eyes lifting back up to take in your sleeping stop for the night. Jay hovered to the right of the wall, finding the power box and flipping the switch. Small lanterns covered the walls and ceiling. Multiple areas of the cave held beds lined to the wall along with showers, tubs, toilets, and kitchen appliances. There were a few areas that were for the children, toys lying on the floor and tables, and some of the beds. 

Children were murdered here. 

You grasped your hand over your chest, feeling how your heart clenched at the sight. 

Jay turns back to look at you, his cold eyes softening, “It was terrible. Heeseung and I got here just in time to see the bandits leave. It took everything for us not to fight them ourselves,” the look in your eyes told him enough how badly this place affected you already.

You took more glances around, “Why does it not look like—“

“Like it was torn apart?” Jay finished for you, dropping his backpack to the floor in front of one of the beds lined to the wall and setting his weapons onto the bed, “Because my team came here and cleaned it up, hoping someday it can be lived in again. We come back every so often to make sure everything is fine and clean.” 

You watched as he sat on the bed, dropping his face into his palms. The rain finally touched down and thunder sounded, the lanterns flickering softly. Jay sighs and quickly stands back up, digging through a drawer to light a couple of candles in case the power does indeed go out. You continued to watch his every move. How can this person be so confusing? So cold and so selfless and full of love all at the same time. You could see it in his eyes how it hurt talking about what happened here. Jay was barely able to sit back down on the bed before you started talking. 

“Why did you shoot Kai?” 

Jay rolled his eyes, “Can you shut up about it? There’s that cold again. 

You shook your head, “No! I need to understand!” 

“What is there to understand, YN? I warned them what would happen if they took a step closer, and look what happened.” Pure rage filled his eyes once again, his jaw locking tight. 

“There had to have been another way! We could have just left!” You took a deep breath, clenching your fists, “You could have killed them!” 

Jay scoffed with a smirk, shaking his head, “I could have, should have.” 

Now you were pissed off, “Why? Huh? Explain that to me. I am NOT worth killing over!” 

Jay shot to his feet, pointing a finger at you, “Don’t you fucking say that! You’re worth—“

“Four million dollars, I fucking get it, Jay. All I am worth is that four million,” he swallowed, not saying a word and he flexed his fists at his sides. It was your turn to scoff and smirk, “Not worth anything more than just to get your damned money.” 

“STOP talking like that,” he snapped. 

“Why should I?” You scoff again, “You’ve done nothing—NOTHING—but tell me and everyone else how much money I am worth. All you fucking care about is the mon—“ 

Jay couldn’t take it anymore, couldn’t think straight as his feet dashed to you, hands cupping your face and lips attaching to yours, slamming his body into yours with such force that it startled you. His lips moved quickly against yours, brows furrowing and eyes closed tightly as he was trying his damndest to slow his heart rate, to not take out every emotion he had into kissing you, but his body failed him as he stayed connected to you, your hands slowly reaching up to touch his wrists, and it was enough to send him over the edge. 

“You’re worth so, so, so much more,” he said between kisses, his hands dropping to your waist, “I can’t hold myself back when it comes to you, I want you near me all the time. It’s taken everything in me to not jump your bones every second of every single day.” 

You leaned more into him, accepting him and his truth that he was finally spilling to you after so long. 

“I don’t give a fucking shit about that money, the capital can fucking keep it. You’re worth everything to me and I am so fucking crazy about you.” Jay slid his mouth from yours and down to your neck, leaving small bites as he trailed down to your shoulder, his hands now under your shirt and quickly lifting it up and over your head. Your hands rushed to pull his shirt from him, needing to feel him skin-to-skin. 

You barely had his shirt on the floor when his chest connected to yours and lips back on yours, “I can’t get enough of you,” he whispers, “I can’t stop feeling for you. I want you. All of you. Please give yourself to me.” 

Jay never was able to call someone his own. He’s had girlfriends and flings, yeah, but never someone that was actually his. Someone he could protect and love with every ounce he had. And it took kissing you in that factory for everything to make sense. He met you for a reason, whether that was some wack chance of fate or luck. He was meant to go through the hell he did to find you. And he wasn’t going to let you go now. 

“I’m yours,” you whispered back, “I am all yours.” You’d be lying if you said you didn’t have feelings for him. That you longed to feel him kiss you again, to touch you, hold you, and everything in between. He’s driven you crazy since day one, you should have known how hard you would have fallen. 

Jay deepened the kiss even more, slowly pulling you back with him until reaching one of the beds against the wall, one hand reaching back up to your neck, then the other wrapping behind your back as he swiftly turned you around and laid you on your back, “Say it again,” he asked, his fingers tracing down your shoulders, pulling the straps of your bra down then sliding his hands underneath to unclasp it and toss it off to the floor, “say it again please.” 

You swallowed, staring up into his eyes. And for the first time, you were able to finally read him. He wanted you in every way, “I’m yours.” 

He slides his hands down to your jeans, unbuttoning them and looping his fingers between the fabric of both your jeans and panties and your skin and pulling them down, “Again.” 

You bit your button lip and smirked up at him, “Should I?” 

Jay stood on his knees, slowly unbuttoning and unzipping his pants, “If you want this dick, I suggest you do.” 

You watch him with lust in your eyes as he slides out of his pants and boxers, his hand wrapping around his cock as he leaned back to hover over you, pumping himself slowly, “I said again.” 

“I am yours.” 

Jay tucks his bottom lip between his teeth, hands going to your thighs and lifting them up, wrapping them around his waist and lining his cock up with your cunt. 

“You’re mine?” he breathes. 

“Yours.” 

Jay slides his hands up your body, clasping his fingers around yours tightly, pushing his hips forward until his cock is buried deep within you, “Mine, all mine,” he whispers into your ear, slowly sliding out and pushing back in. 

His lips kissed down to your neck as he picked up his pace, using your hands pressed into the mattress as his leverage to kiss your cervix with the tip of his dick, grinding into you hard. Your moans sent chills down his spine, edging him to fuck into you faster. God, you felt so good. He only dreamed what your pussy would feel like wrapped around him. It was as if your pussy was made for him, made to fit and take his cock so fucking good. His. All his. 

“Jay,” you moaned out his name, your hands now tangled in his dyed hair as one of his hands grasped your thigh, and the other on your face, “Are you mine, too?” 

“Oh, baby,” he groans into your neck, “I’ve been yours.” 

Thunder crashed outside, flickering the lights a couple of times before shutting them off completely. The candles are the only source of light. But it couldn’t have been more perfect. Yours and Jay’s moans mixed with the sound of the rain. His cock works against your sweet spot and nails dig into the plush of your thighs. He was going dizzy at the feeling of you, of the emotions you’ve made him feel. Your sex felt like heaven, you felt like heaven in this hell. 

“I’ll never let anyone hurt you,” he kisses your neck, “Won’t let anyone touch you,” kisses your jawline, “I’d kill for you,” finally kissing your lips, “You’re mine. All mine.” 

You kissed him back harder, pulling him as close as possible to you as you reached your climax, squeezing your legs tighter around his waist. 

“Fuck,” he hisses, “I’m gonna cum too,” he pumped into you faster, “call me yours, say my name, f-fuck, please say I’m yours.” 

You tightened your legs around him, kissing from his lips to his ear, “Jay, you’re mine. Mine, mine, mine.” 

He clenches his jaw and squeezes his eyes shut as he cums, “Shit, baby,” he slowly lays on top of you gently, breathing in your scent, and wraps his arms underneath you to hold you against him. He took a couple of deep breaths and chuckled, “I am so glad you stole our drugs that day.” 

—

you lay in his arms as he traced his fingers up and down your bare back, the rain still crashing down to the earth, it being the only sound you could hear besides the beating of Jay’s heart in your ear from laying against his chest. 

Jay leaned against the wall the bed connected to, his eyes scanning the empty safe zone, trying to remember how much life was once held here. How life sits here now. Jay let his brain wonder about the different possibilities and outcomes of this zone, debating what to do and how to do it. His train of thought derailed when you shifted yourself up further, laying your head into his neck, “I thought you were asleep?” 

You gently shook your head, “I don’t want to sleep and miss out on this moment.” 

Jay chuckled and leaned his head against the top of yours, “You need some rest, I’m here and won’t leave you.” 

“That’s not what I’m worried about, I just want to savor the moment for when you go back to being cold towards me once we leave here.” 

Jay chuckles again, “Baby, I won’t. I was cold to keep the lines from blurring and my heart from feeling, but look how that turned out?” 

You giggled when he slid his hands under the blanket you two shared and squeezed the fat of your ass, “Didn’t think you ever felt anything for me besides the money, you confused the hell out of me, Jay.” 

He pressed a kiss to your forehead, “I know, I am sorry.” You shivered, so he pulled the blanket up higher on your naked body, running his hands up and down your back to help warm you. 

Even though you’ve spent enough time with this man to know how he is, you still don’t know a lot about him besides the things he’s willingly shared with you. And since curiosity consumed you, mostly now that he’s accepted his feelings for you, maybe he’ll be more inclined to talk. Here goes nothing, “What did you do before the outbreak?” you softly asked while still treading on eggshells, “How was life for you before it?” 

Jay takes a deep inhale, holding his breath for a couple of seconds before letting it out and wrapping his arms tighter around you, “Heeseung and I were best friends before all this. Grew up together actually. His family lived across the street from mine, and being the only child, I attached myself to Heeseung fairly quickly.” 

You could see it. With how Heeseung and Jay relied on each other back in their home zone and even when they cornered you when you stole the drugs they were supposed to smuggle, the two of them stuck to each other. 

“He became like my older brother, and I am a younger one for him. When the outbreak first happened, Heeseung and I…” he took another deep breath in, and you felt how tense his body became under you. So you reached a hand up to his chest, feeling that tension loosen, “We were fucking around with a few other kids in our town, shooting hoops at the court while passing a blunt between each of us. I was actually supposed to be grounded, I smart-mouthed off to my parents. I stuck out my bedroom window and jumped into Heeseung’s car and we went off to the basketball court. We were there for roughly thirty minutes before the first bomb dropped to take out the infected.” 

You remembered the bombs very well. Remembered the sirens going off. People were going crazy to try and leave town to escape it. Only very few were lucky to get out. And since the two of you were lying here together, it was obvious you two were part of the lucky ones. 

Jay continued, “Heeseung and I never ran back home so fast, only to see our street was completely…gone. We lost our families, and if we didn’t sneak out…we wouldn’t be here right now. The only thing that kept me alive to this very day was Heeseung. If I didn’t have him…” 

“Jay,” you whispered, lifting yourself up to press the side of your face to his, “you have him, don’t think about what could have happened. You have him, and always will.” 

He took a couple of deep breaths, leaning more into you, “I know. I’m lucky to have him as a brother. Same to Jake and Sunghoon.”

“How did you meet those two?” 

Jay laughed, “We found them in an abandoned grocery store.” 

You tried to not giggle, but let it out anyway, “Are you serious?” 

“I am being so deadass,” he laughed more with you, you falling in love with how he smiles and the sound of his laugh. This Jay right here, this was his true self, “It was roughly about four months after the outbreak, so still before the safe zones. Heeseung and I were running low on food and we stumbled into a grocery store praying for food but finding Jake and Sunghoon with every food item possible shoved into the back corner of one of the offices hoarding it all for themselves.”

You just nodded, “Yeah from the small amount I know about them, that sounds about right.” 

Jay agrees, “It was a sight to see that’s for sure. It took them everything to not kill us. They were held up there for a couple of weeks before we found them. But eventually, we got them to share their food and they just…followed us out of the grocery store when we left a day later. The four of us have been together since then.” 

“Sounds like you guys found each other at the right times. They say you always find the people you need for your life at the right time regardless of the situation.” You slid back down, lying your head back on his neck, “Just like how you found me.”

Jay squeezed you tightly, “I have to agree with that statement. It’s like I am your god or something.” 

You playfully slapped his bicep, “Oh shut up! You needed me just as much as I needed you.” 

“I did, I needed you so bad and it took me meeting you to realize it.” Jay now slid down the bed, lying his head on the pillow and pulling you fully against him, resting his forehead against yours, “The four of us traveled for days to get to the safe zone we are at now. It was still newly built and just redeemed safe to let people in. Been there since, obviously, and eventually, we are where we are now. Being smugglers to keep our place and food in our bellies.” 

You looked into his eyes, seeing all the hurt and pain he’s been through and even put himself through to continue to survive. To keep breathing. Jay kept fighting to stay alive for his brothers and kept going for someday finding more of a reason to keep his heart beating. He found that reason the moment he saw you. Even though you were pointing a gun to his head. 

“You’ve fought long enough, Jay,” you whisper, brushing your lips against his, “Please take the money when you hand me over.” 

Jay scoffs, “YN—“

“No,” you interrupted, “Take it. It would help you and the others. You all don’t need to fight anymore.” 

Jay just looks back at you, wondering how the fuck could he just take that money and run. To leave you with the capital. He couldn’t do it. He won’t do it. 

“I’ll find a way to get the money and bring you back home,” it sunk your heart hearing him call his safe zone your home. You had a home again. With him, “That way we can be set and I don’t have to leave you.” 

You softly kissed him. Moving your lips so gently against his. His hands moved from your back to your waist and pressed your body against his. 

Jay was home. Jay IS home. And you’d take up his mantle of fighting to protect him now. To keep him safe. Jay deserves it more than anything. 

—

To both your and Jay’s surprise, the next three-month journey was actually really smooth. Jay didn’t know if he should be worried or relieved that everything had gone smoothly. He’s tried to keep a positive mind, to push out that smuggler mindset he’s been in for years, wanting to be a better man for you. But Jay knew even if he wanted to drop that life, he was going to have to keep up that fighter persona. That protectiveness. There’s no doubt Soobin and his dogs already ran their mouths about you being immune, spreading the word to anyone and everyone they could. Probably more than likely putting a bounty over Jay’s head because of him shooting Kai. Jay had to start thinking more clearly about his future, about yours, if he wanted to keep the both of you alive for that future. Because he can’t live without you now, and he refuses to let anyone take you from him. 

You walked ahead of him, your palms facing outwards, brushing your fingers over the flowers and grass that grew tall, loving the way it tickled your hands. To say you’re happier than before would be an understatement. Jay finally confessing his deep feelings flipped a switch within you, like you have something more to live for besides just simply surviving for your fallen friends. At the start of this journey, you refused to let the capital take you, to use you as a curse for everyone else. But after meeting and falling in love with Jay…knowing that if he somehow gets bitten one of these days…the cure that would come from you would save him. You didn’t care about saving everyone else, just as long as you could save him, that’s all that mattered. 

You glanced up ahead, and the building you assumed was the capital, came into view. It looked like an old hospital. Overgrown with vines and weeds. If you didn’t know what to look for, you would have assumed this was just like any other normal old abandoned building like the rest of the world. But Jay gave you details on what to look for. 

“Looks like we finally made it,” You said, turning to look at Jay. He looks at you, then at the building, giving a nod. You started to shake, the fear of going inside taking over. You didn’t know what to expect. How will they treat you? Would it be filled with old doctors or politicians who think they know what is best for the world? Many more questions rolled through you and it took Jay taking your hand into his for your train to derail. 

“It’s going to be okay, I won’t let them hurt you, I promise,” And Jay meant it. He will stand beside you every step of the way. Letting the capital take what was needed then getting the hell out of there and back home. 

Jay leads you to the entrance, staring up at the camera that hangs from the ceiling above the door. Jay waved a hand at the camera, “Hello?? How do you expect to get people in and out if there’s no way to fucking knock??” Glad to see Jay didn’t completely go soft on you. You giggled at his straightforwardness, squeezing his hand. 

The door sounded with a click and opened. Jay squeezed your hand back before taking a step in, leading you in behind him. The entrance was dimly lit halfway, completely colored gray with hospital signs hanging to the walls. If you didn’t know any better, you would have figured this place was a disaster waiting to happen, that no soul would be living here. But that changed once the entrance expanded out into what looked to be the lobby of the hospital. The gray turned to white and bright lights filled the room. You didn’t have time to process the new brightness when seven men appeared in front of you and Jay. Not like magic or anything, your eyes just couldn’t adjust to the bright lights in time to see them approach. 

Jay gave each of them a nod, “Nice to see you again, Shotaro, Sungchan, Wonbin, Sohee, Seunghan, Eunseok, and Anton. Been awhile.” 

You followed Jay’s head movement to each of the seven of them, taking in their names and faces before looking over at Jay confused for a solid few seconds before remembering that Jay has been to the capital a few times in his life, of course he knew the people here. 

“Pleasure to see you, as always,” Shotaro said to him, giving a nod back, “See the trip here didn’t kill you.” 

Jay just chuckles, releasing his hand from yours, “It’s going to take a lot more than some zombies to take me down.” Jay knew joking with these people would be the best way to fit in and get things done. Shotaro and his crew were different from Soobin and his. Two different types of personalities here. 

“I am assuming this is the immune one?” Sungchan asked, tilting his head. His eyes scan your body up and down then stop at the bite mark on your wrist. You ditched the wrap and long-sleeve shirts back at the cave zone, the summer weather being too hot to keep up with it. Your bite was pretty much healed, no longer infected, and just looked like a normal wound in healing. 

“I have a name,” you growled at him, “I’m not just some “immune one” or whatever.”

All seven of them smirked at you, making you cling to Jay’s arm, “Feisty one, isn’t she?” Wonbin chuckled with a raise of his brow, “You sure know how to pick’em, Jay.” 

Jay just tried to give them his best smile, “This is YN. And yes she’s the one Jungkook called and talked to Namjoon about.” 

Namjoon?

“Joon is busy in a meeting,” Sohee sighs, “He told us to apologize on his behalf and welcome you into the capital.” 

Seunghan added, “He had to step in the moment you walked up to the door. He truly wants to meet you two here.” 

“We were expecting seven more of you though…” Shotaro said with his eyes scanning the two of you, “Where are your other six?” 

Jay shrugs, “They had other important matters to take care of, so I volunteered to make the trip myself.” 

“Ahhh,” Eunseok cooed, “I sometimes forget the seven of you are the best smugglers down in the southwest.” 

“Best of the best,” Jay awkwardly smiled, wanting to get this small talk over with, “Are we going to stand and wait for Namjoon to finish his meeting or???” 

Shotaro bowed a bit, “My apologies, you two must be exhausted from your long trip,” He stood back upright, “Anton, please take our friends to their rooms.” 

“We’ll share one, thanks for the thought though,” Jay was quick to say. 

Shotaro just looked back and forth between the two of you, and then the realization hit, “Ahh! You two are a pair. That’s…interesting considering Jay was a lone wolf when it came to mating.”

Jay just rolls his eyes at the comment, “People can change. You’d know if you left the capital more.” 

Shotaro just keeps his wide smile on display, “Anton.” 

Anton nods, waving the two of you towards him, “We saved the best rooms possible for you,” Jay leads first, dragging you close behind him, “We’ve also given you badges with access to every floor and room in the building. Given as a thanks for your sacrifice, YN. You’re doing the world a massive favor by coming here.” You just nod, confident that you’re only doing this for Jay to protect him, “We have a meeting set up for you to keep with one of the doctors later this evening, to kinda help ease your mind about all this.” 

You didn’t care and stopped listening to Anton explain everything. All you cared about was getting to the room to shower off the outside smell, dirt, and grime. To get in fresh clothing and get a much-needed nap before this place runs you left and right with tests. 

Anton finally let you into the room, handing off the badges to Jay, and with a nod, he left, closing the door behind him. The room was obviously small, being that it was an old hospital room. But it was still cozy, very bedroom-like. Paintings hung on the walls along with a medium-sized dresser with a mirror atop sat in the middle with the queen-sized bed right beside it and the bathroom sitting off to the left of the room. You made your way to the dresser, opening the first drawer to see plenty of clean undergarments for all genders, the second drawer was sleepwear, and the third and fourth drawer was filled with normal everyday shirts and jeans. You pulled pieces of clothing from each drawer and rushed to the entrance of the bathroom but stopped. 

“Can I shower first?” you asked, turning to look at Jay who was sitting at the edge of the bed, holding an envelope, “Jay? What’s that?” 

He looks up at you, “It was slipped under the door after we walked in. It’s the money they owe me for bringing you here.” 

You swallowed, watching as he opened the envelope and pulled out the cash. Jay felt like his heart nearly stopped at the amount of money he held in his hands, fingers slipping through each bill to make sure it was real and the actual amount they said they would give. And sure enough, it was. 

Jay looked at the cash and slowly put it back in the envelope. You could see the gears turning, “Don’t you even dare think about not taking it.” 

He looks at you, was he that obvious? “YN, baby, I can’t take it.” 

You quickly rushed to him, grabbing the envelope and shoving it deep into his backpack, “You came all this way for this, don’t back out of it now.” 

Jay stood to his feet and pulled you to him, “I don’t care about the money! I’ve told you before that you’re worth so much more than money.” 

You cupped his face, “You and the six back at home need this money, think about the life you can give them once we go back. Please don’t give it up.” Jay knew you were right. He made this trip in the first place all for his brothers and the money that would help give them a better life. So he nods, giving you a soft smile and picking you up into his arms, carrying you to the bathroom. 

“We’re both stinky, let’s wash off, ya?” He said, placing kisses all over your face and kicking the bathroom door shut. 

—

The rest of your day was filled with following around one of the seven boys to multiple different stops with Jay close on your heels. The first stop was the cafeteria for lunch, eating the best chicken sandwich you think you ever had. The second stop was to one of the labs for some doctors to draw your blood and give you some juice and five minutes of sitting before sending you on the way. The third stop was the meeting with the doctor who explained the procedure of the blood being drawn from the first stop and how taking from the bone marrow during the procedure and then talking about somehow mixing other things to create the cure? You were no scientist nor a doctor and you couldn’t remember how they find cures in all the horror and survival movies you’ve seen in your life to even get close to knowing how it would work. Jay looked just as confused as you did. At least you all were on the same page. Somewhat. The fourth stop was back at the room, where you and Jay cuddled and took a good hour nap before Sungchan knocked on the door saying it was time for dinner. 

You two ate with the seven boys, them explaining how Namjoon was once again tied up and couldn’t make it to the meal to greet us. Jay just waved it off. He didn’t care about any more meetings, he just wanted to eat and go back to the room. The day was tiring, the whole trip was tiring. Tomorrow would more than likely be another busy day and all you wanted to do was change into your pajamas and hit the sack. The seven of the boys talked a lot, made a lot of jokes, and continuously teased Jay for being in a relationship as if it was such a hard thing for their minds to process. You tried to laugh at everything, to understand the jokes. You weren’t sure if it was the nerves or your exhaustion making it hard to play along. Thankfully dinner finally ended and you found yourself back in the comfort of your temporary room. 

“There’s only silk lace gowns in here?” You sigh, digging through the whole drawer to find a pair of pajama pants and a shirt, “Why are there ONLY silk lace gowns???” 

Jay peeked over your shoulder, his hands reaching around you to pull an emerald green gown out of the drawer, “I mean this is the capital, everything here is probably fancy in some form.” 

You take the gown from his hands with a sigh, “It’ll have to do I suppose.” Jay just gives you a small smile and nods as he backs away and sits on the bed, untying the laces to his boots. 

You glanced back at the silk gown on your hands and up to Jay. Maybe you were reading a bit into it, but why did he choose this color? Out of all the pretty colors in that drawer, his eyes went to this one. You tried to push down the thoughts, remembering the time back at the safe zone when he said your naked body was just skin. How he didn’t have time to deal with these types of things. But he was also in a relationship with you now? The two of you never discussed what you were after sex that one night. He’s made love to you multiple times since then but still never once said what you both were. Maybe he was just bullshitting when he saw you naked the very first time, but then again he didn’t see you in that light before. Maybe again you were just overthinking it. He’s never seen you in such clothing, so maybe that’s why he chose this color, maybe he wanted to see you in it. 

You decided to stop thinking too much about it and slowly stripped out of your clothes, dropping them down to the floor with a thud, causing Jay’s eyes to lift up to you as he started on his second boot. You kept eye contact with him as you slid the straps of your bra down your shoulders and unclasped the back, holding the bra in place on your breast as you pulled your arms through the loops. Jay’s eyes left yours and went to your breasts, watching as you dropped the bra to the floor. His body tensed. You had him wrapped around your finger. His eyes shot back up to yours, his face still so calm and collected. You finally pulled the laced emerald silk gown over your head and onto your body, fitting strangely well to your frame and tight in the right places. 

You slowly crawled into the bed and laid down, his body shifted to face you as you got comfortable on the bed. Jay was losing his mind and was fighting his demons to keep from jumping you and ripping that pretty little gown off your body. His mind wanders to all the things he wants to do, where he wants his hands, and where he wants his mouth. He stood from the bed, sliding his feet out of his boots, and pulling his shirt from his body. You bit your lip at the sight of his torso, how his tan muscular skin moved as he reached for the button on his jeans, the tint in his pants was enough to tell you that you did affect him. That this color was chosen on purpose. 

Jay dropped the jeans to the floor then crawled onto the bed and hovered over you, “You look way too damn good in green, you should wear it more often, baby,” all you could do was nod and rub your thighs together. Jay glanced down at your legs, a smirk falling to his lips, “Want me so bad you can’t form a sentence?” 

“Jay,” you whispered, “Please.” 

He bent down and kissed you, his right hand already touching the ends of the gown, “You’re so sexy,” he breathed between kisses, “You know that?” You didn’t have time to respond as his lips left yours to trail down your neck and then to your shoulder, biting softly at your skin, loving the way you squirmed underneath him. His hand was now under the gown, slowly riding up your thigh. His moved down lower, leaving opened-mouth kisses down to your collarbone, between your breasts, and down your stomach, both his hands were now under the gown and sliding up and up, bunching the gown at your waist, “I’m craving dessert, and you look just like something I want to eat.” 

You gasp at his words, feeling your slick pool in your panties. Jay slid down to your heat, spreading your legs apart, clicking his tongue at the wet spot, “Already so wet for me? I haven’t even touched you yet.” It was driving him crazy seeing you already soaked for him. How much more perfect could you get?? He rubs his knuckle against your folds, pushing the lips apart as he digs his knuckle further in, “So wet for me, baby,” he coos, licking at his bottom lip. Jay didn’t think he could wait much longer, he needed your taste in his mouth. To devour you. To make you cum against his tongue. God, it’s all he wanted at this moment. Jay looped his fingers at the hems of your panties and you lifted your hips up as he slid them down and threw them to the floor to be completely forgotten about. 

Jay lifted your legs onto his shoulders as he settled back between your legs, using his index and ring fingers to spread your cunts lips, “fuccckk,” he groaned, loving how some of your slick was slowly dripping out of your cunt. Your hands flew to his hair when you felt his tongue press flat to your heat, licking up and stopping at your clit and wrapping his lips and tongue around the sensitive bud. 

“Shit, Jay!” you moaned, gripping his hair tight between your fingers. His hum of pleasure vibrated against you, making your toes curl into the sheets. With his other hand, he slid two fingers into your hole, pumping in and out of you slowly. Jay could get lost in your pussy, could stay here for hours if he didn’t need oxygen to continue breathing, licking up every ounce of your juices you could offer to him. You clenched around his fingers and gripped his hair even tighter, letting out soft moans at the feeling of him on your clit and cunt. 

“Be louder, baby, I want to hear you,” he breathes, taking a few deep breaths in before attaching himself back to your clit, sucking on it softly and pushing his fingers in and out faster, keeping your lips spread with his other fingers. You were getting dizzy at the sensation, brain clouding and his fingers and lips being the only thing you could focus on as you chanted out his name over and over. It was magic to his ears, truly. The best sound he’s ever heard next to your normal voice. 

He detached from your clit and replaced his fingers in your hole with his tongue, reaching so far into you that his nose was now rubbing your clit along with his middle finger. The knot of your climax was about to snap. You tried to hold on for as long as you could, waiting to savor this feeling but also wanting the sweet release it would give you. Jay wasn’t giving you much of a choice, not with how he worked his tongue in your cunt and his finger on your clit. His whole job here was making you cum on his tongue, and he wasn’t going to stop until he got what he desired. So you gave in, letting the knot snap in two and your body shuddered. Jay moaned against your cunt, licking up every last drop of your cum with his tongue, “Fuck you taste so good.” 

He left soft kisses on your heat and both your inner thighs before hovering back over you completely, “You’re such a good girl for me, my sweet, continue being good and take this cock, ya?” you quickly nodded, reaching for his boxers to slide them off him. He chuckled as he helped you remove the last bit of his clothing, “impatient are we?” 

“Jay, just please fuck me already, I need you.” 

He clicks his tongue, smirking at you, “Gotta give the lady what she wants, right?” 

Not another word was said as he slides into you, fucking you already so hard and fast it made your overstimulation way worse. But it was so—so—good. He kisses you, forcing his tongue down your throat, getting a taste of yourself as you sucked on his tongue, wrapping your muscle around him in a perfect dance. Jay wrapped your legs around him and pinned your hands above your head, squeezing them tightly as he continued to rock his hips against yours, kissing down from your lips to your ear, “You’re stuck with me, understand?” he breathes, his breath sending chills down your body, “I love you, YN. I am so in love with you.” 

Tears filled your eyes as you wrapped your legs and released your hands from his and wrapped your arms tightly around him, squeezing him so tight against your body, wanting to feel every inch of him against you, “I love you too. Oh god, I love you too.” 

Jay moved faster, “Say it again, tell me you love me again.” 

You did, you chanted how much you loved him over and over until he was spilling his seed deep within you. So out of breath but continued to kiss all over your face and slowly rock his hips against yours to chase out his high. If this is what it felt like to be in love with Jay and be loved by him, you didn’t need any other emotion ever again. 

—

Jay rolled over, stretching his arm out on your side of the bed, surprise took him when he didn’t feel you there, running his hand up and down the spot you should be in. He fluttered his eyes open, the early morning sunlight shining against the paintings on the wall and the gray wallpaper. Jay lifted himself on his forearms and elbows, the cool air sending chills down his bare back as the blanket slid down to his waist. He looked at the spot you slept in, tracing his hand back over it and realizing the sheets were cold. You’ve been gone for a while. 

“YN?” Jay calls, thinking maybe you were in the bathroom, seeing that the door was closed, “Baby?” 

No answer. Jay lets out an uneasy sigh, clearly not liking the silence of the room. He sits up and pushes himself to the edge of the bed, pulling his boxers off from the floor and stepping into them, and snapping them at his hips, “Baby?” He tried calling again, walking to the bathroom door and carefully knocking, “YN, this isn’t funny.” Jay quickly opened the door, seeing the bathroom was empty. 

Panic started to settle in. 

Jay tried to keep calm, hoping you were just at the other labs the doctors and other officials of the capital have said. But all the hope was gone when Jay turned around, barely catching his naked top half in the mirror, seeing the red and irritated skin at the edge of his back right under the shoulder, the small puncture wound still clear and visible. He was drugged. And you were taken. 

Jay quickly rushed back into the room, pulling his clothes onto his body and picking up his backpack from the floor, noticing yours was still sitting in the same spot. Jay felt the panic deep in his core. You wouldn’t have just walked out of the room without telling him or bringing him with you. Jay’s suspicions only got confirmed after seeing the weapons from your and his backpack was missing. 

“Shit,” he mumbles, looking in the corner to see his shotgun was also missing from where he placed it against the wall. Jay dumped out everything from the backpacks and drawers, trying to find any weapon possible that they might have overlooked. But everything was gone. The only thing he found was the snacks and other foods and water the two of you had been carrying the whole trip and the white envelope with the money in it. Jay wanted to tear the money into pieces, to burn this whole place down from them taking you from him. He was going crazy and needed to find you, and fast. He pulled everything back into the backpack, combining your stuff with his. Jay took one last look at the envelope and then shoved it into the backpack. 

It was one problem after the other when he tried to walk out of the room to find the door was locked from the outside, “FUCK!” he screamed, taking multiple steps back and rushing to the door, connecting his shoulder to the wood. Step back, ram the door, step back, ram the door. repeat. repeat. repeat. Jay shook out his hands and arms, giving it one last final shove and the door pushed open, the locks and doorknobs falling to the floor. 

The hallway was dark except for the sunlight peeking through the windows. Not a damn soul was around. It was so silent you could probably hear the tectonic plates shifting within the earth. Jay treaded lightly, locking his jaw and clenching his fists as he slowly walked down the hall. This hospital was so full of life just yesterday, and now it’s like everyone is gone. This place once again looked abandoned before the capital officials took over. Jay figured it was before everyone knew the minute he woke up and saw you gone, all hell would break loose. Jay should have known. Should have listened to everyone who told them what would happen once he got you here. They were going to kill you. And he needed to stop it. 

First, he needed his weapons back. Following the signs on the walls leading him to the armory. There were two guards on watch when he reached it, “Fucking typical,” he whispered to himself, “All for little ole me?” Jay knew Namjoon was more than likely on high alert, knowing what moves Jay would be making and how he’d make them. Jay and his team aren’t the best smugglers around for nothing. He crouches down, slowly inching himself to the guards, assessing them before making another move. They both had knives and pistols attached to their hips with rifles in hand. Jay didn’t have a lot of time to come up with a solid plan and acted quickly. All the years of surviving had led to this. All the years of killing before getting killed. Learning how to be sneaky and how to lie through his teeth as he stole and picked pocketed his enemies. The person he had to become because of this apocalypse. All led him here. Once Jay was close enough, he quickly stood and broke out into a sprint. The first guard didn’t know what was happening by the time Jay reached him. His hands wrapped around his head and twisted, his body going limp at the crack of his neck. Jay worked fast before the guard's body hit the floor, stealing his knife and shoving it into the other guard's side between his ribs. 

“Now you will give me the information I seek out, got it?” he hisses, “Or you will end up like your friend over there, ya?” 

The guard trembled in Jay’s hands, his eyes darting to his now-dead friend on the cold hospital floor, “What do you want?” he tried to snap back, but it was not having any effect on Jay whatsoever. 

“Where is she?” Jay growled against the man’s ear, “Where. Is. YN?” Silence. Jay pushed the knife in further, the guard gritting his teeth to not scream at the pain, “Where the fuck is my girlfriend?!” Jay was yelling now, no longer playing these games. 

“Second floor, last room on the right side,” the man grunted out, “But it’s too fucking late,” Jay’s heart stopped, “They already began the procedure before sunlight even came, busted in right after you two slept,” you’ve been gone a lot longer than he thought. His panic sank further, “They took from her blood until she passed out and drugged her to stay asleep,” the guard chuckled, “She was a walking cure factory.” 

Jay shoved the knife deeper, “Is she alive?” The man groans in pain, “I SAID IS SHE STILL ALIVE!?” 

“YES!” he hissed, “But not for long. Her blood was only doing so much. They are going to go for her bone marrow now. Going to use every last drop she can give until she’s no longer breathing.” 

The man started to chuckle, but those chuckles changed into gurgles and he gasped for air before tipping over to the floor. Jay’s hands were trembling as he looked down at them, seeing the dark red tint staining his skin and the pool of it now covering the floor where Jay shoved the knife into the side of his neck. Jay swallowed and released a few deep breaths, recollecting himself and noticing his clothes now stained red. Jay sized up the first guard, thank god he looked to be about the same size as him. 

Jay was quick at changing into the guard's uniform, stealing his pistol, knife, rifle, and keycards. Always take the keycards, you never know when you’ll need them. He rushes into the armory, finding your pistol, his shotgun, and both your knives, shoving the smaller items into the backpack, and sliding his shotgun over his shoulder. Before Jay realized, he was stepping over the two dead guards and was up the stairs, making his way to the second floor. His legs shook all the way down into his boots. Trying to push out the images of the two lives he just ended. Jay has killed before during smuggling runs, but it never will get easier or something he’d get used to. This world created all this chaos and turned everyone into monsters. No one had a spot in heaven. Hell was the only final destination. 

The jitters left once both feet touched the second floor, and the rifle pointed upwards. The only thing on his mind now was you and praying he wasn’t too late. The floor was silent until he reached the corner of the building, where four guards were stationed outside the room. This was it. You were just behind those doors, hopefully still breathing. Jay didn’t want to think about what would happen if he went in there and saw you dead. The things he’d do…

You barely blinked in and out of consciousness, the bright lights shining on you from the ceiling were blinding, only being able to see white and the blue of the two doctors' lab coats. They talked between each other, not being able to make out any of the words they spoke. Your body hurts. Your head spun. Were you fixing to die? Where was Jay? Why did you feel so cold? Why did they take you from him the way they did? So many questions piled up in your brain. Jay is the main source of the questions. The main one was that he was safe. That he takes the money and runs so far away from here. That you died for this fucking cure in hopes if anything happened to him he wouldn’t turn into the undead outside. He could survive and have a better life than before. Your thought process was interrupted when both doctors looked down at you and asked a question. You didn’t know if you answered them or not, or couldn’t remember if you did. There was a poke on your wrist, and everything went fuzzy and your eyes closed. 

“She’s asleep again,” one said, setting the syringe down on the table behind him and checking your vital signs on the monitor, “Vitals are normal and steady, we can—“ the doctor stopped speaking, whipping his head to the entrance of the room. 

The other doctor looked at the one across from him, then turned to look at the door, then back to him, “What's wrong?” 

“You didn’t hear that?” he asked, his eyes widening. 

“I think you’re being paranoid, let’s continue.” 

He didn’t take his eyes off the door. Nor did he even have time to think about what happened next as Jay kicked the door open, his rifling pointing directly ahead. The doctor barely had time to see the dead bodies as the door closed behind Jay. Blood coated Jay’s face, hair, and clothes. 

“Joon said he’d be out the whole fucking day!” the doctor closer to Jay shouts, reaching for the surgical knife on the small tray table. 

“Don’t fucking move!” Jay snapped, “Back away from her!” 

The two doctors moved, their hands raised above their heads. Jay looked at you. Your skin was pale and your lips purple. Bruises covered your arms and bare legs, proof enough that you didn’t go down without a fight. You were hooked up to multiple different types of IVs. Jay tried to find any sign that you were breathing, eyes whipping to the monitor, watching as your vitals dropped. All Jay saw then was red. You were dying. He was losing you by the second. He couldn’t waste any more time. So he pulled the trigger. Their screams and voices were muffled out by the buzzing in his ears from the anger and the fear of losing you. He can’t lose you. 

He dropped the rifle to the floor once the room stopped spinning, his legs dragging him to your side, hands immediately grabbing for you. Your skin was cold to the touch. He hissed out from the pain in his chest, the pain of his heart clenching thinking you already were between the lines of life and death. Praying you weren’t. 

“Baby,” he whimpered, tears swelling his eyes, “Come on, YN, please wake up.” Jay softly shook you, placing his ear over your mouth, feeling your breath push out. It was weak. So, so very weak. “Baby don’t leave me, please.” Both his hands cupped your face, thumbs stroking your cheeks, “I can’t live without you, please.” Jay searched the room, removing himself from you to pull open all the cabinets and drawers in search of some drug to get your heart pumping normally again. Anything to get your vitals back up. He found what he needed and rushed back to you, with an empty syringe, “Forgive me, please,” he begged, pulling out the drug with the syringe needle, and filling it up, “Forgive me for bringing you here. For gambling your life like this. I am so so so sorry.” With shaky hands, he finds a vein in your wrist, “I love you,” and gently pushes it into your skin, injecting the clear liquid into your body. Jay whips his head to the monitor, watching your heart rate pick up and your vitals start to normalize. He drops the syringe and falls to his knees, running his crusted red-stained hands through his blonde hair. 

He doesn’t know how long he sat there like that. It wasn’t until you shifted on the table that he jumped back to his feet, coming back to reality and needing to get you out of there. Jay removed the IVs from your arms, bandaging them up and brushing your hair from your face, “Baby?” you fluttered your eyes, still too out of it to really open them. You knew Jay was finally with you, or that you were dreaming. Or even dead. You felt the warmth of his touch, heard his voice, and were barely able to make out his face. But he was here, nevertheless. Jay pressed a quick kiss to your forehead, “Let’s get you out of here.” Jay found your clothes and redressed you with them, tossing the hospital gown across the room. Jay took a final look at the room, seeing the vials filled with your blood and other chemicals. There were at least thirty of them. All were marked with tape that said “cure”. “Those bastards.” he hissed in his brain. But the longer he stared at them, the angrier he got. 

He carried you in his arms, rushing down to the ground level of the hospital, looking for a quick and easy way out. It was easy. A bit too easy. It was unsettling for Jay, something was off. It shouldn’t be this easy. 

“Jay?” you softly whisper, feeling his strong arms squeeze you tighter. Finally becoming more aware of the drugs slowly wearing off. 

“Shhh, It’s okay baby, I’m right here,” he whispers back, eyes darting in every direction, waiting for something to happen. And then it did. 

“Leaving without so much as a goodbye?” 

Jay stopped walking, his jaw clenching. You both were almost to the door, so close to leaving. But he turned anyway, seeing Namjoon standing there with his dimpled smile and hand folded behind his back. Shotaro, Eunseok, Sungchan, Seunghan, Wonbin, Sohee, and Anton standing directly behind him with guns pointing at Jay and you. Jay gritted his teeth, “Nice to see you finally made your appearance.” 

Namjoon chuckled, “I am a busy man, what can I say? Being the leader of this operation is very time-consuming. My apologies for not being there sooner.” Jay just stared at him, holding you tighter to his chest, “I believe you have something of mine,” Namjoon said with a sigh, stepping forward, “Give it back, please.” 

Jay barked out a laugh, “She doesn’t belong to you. Or anyone for that matter. And we’re leaving.” 

Namjoon inhaled, held his breath for a few seconds, and then released it, “You don’t understand what’s going on here, Jay.” 

“Oh like the fuck I don’t!” Jay yelled, taking a few steps back, “You’re killing her!!” 

“A sacrifice that I am willing to make,” Jay hated the straight face Joon was making. Hated how he seemed to be okay with ending your life, “She is special, Jay. She is so important to finding a cure.” 

“Then go find someone else that’s immune!” Jay snapped, “Leave her out of it!” 

Namjoon smiles, “She can save so many lives. Think about the people we can save, at her sacrifice. Think how the world can and will heal because of the sacrifice. Everything can go back to normal and she will be so worth it.” 

Jay clenched you tighter, “The world can fucking burn. She’s worth more than whatever righteousness you think you have by doing this to someone innocent.” 

“We aren’t innocent,” Joon sighs again, “This world made us into hunters, killers, and survivors. No one is innocent.” Jay didn’t want to hear it anymore. He wanted out, now. So he took more steps back, giving his glare locked on Namjoon and the seven guys behind him, “You’re making a mistake,” Joon said, following Jay, “Just give her back…” 

Jay quickly shifted your body to his side, pulling out the pistol at his hip, “Take one more step and I’ll fucking kill you.” 

“Like you did to my guards?” 

Jay said nothing, his fingers going numb from the grin he had on your belt loop to keep you pressed against him. You whimpered, the pain finally settling into you as the drugs wore off more. You clenched your arms around his neck and wrapped your legs around his leg, trying to hold yourself up against his hold, “I’ll kill who I have to to keep her safe.” 

Namjoon could see the desperation on Jay’s face, and just gave him another smile, “Go then. Just know you’re a wanted man the minute you walk out of those doors.” 

“Joon!” Shotaro quickly said, earning Namjoon to hold his hand up to silence him, then waving Jay to go forward. He slowly took the steps back, waiting until his back touched against the doors, and pushed it open, the pistol still pointing directly forward. Namjoon continues smiling even after Jay closes the door, leaving them in the lobby alone. Namjoon had enough samples of your blood to create copies. He also knew Jay would be heading back to his safe zone quickly. Namjoon will get you back. But this time by force. 

—

Jay slid the open window carefully, using his strength to push and pull himself up through the kitchen window, carefully climbing his way into the house. Jay barely touched his feet to the floor and turned around to see Heeseung pointing a gun in his direction, “What the fuck! It’s just me!” he whispers, “Watch where you point that thing!” 

Heeseung groans, “Why the fuck are you climbing through the window!!” He snaps, pointing to the front door, “You know how to use that right!!” 

Jay just looks at his brother up and down, being able to tell he’s lost weight since he’s been gone. The three of them all probably lost weight. Heeseung’s red hair was now completely washed out, leaving some patches of a soft pink color and some blonde streaks. Cuts and bruises covered Heeseung’s arms. He looked rough, and Jay could only imagine how the other two looked, “You’ve been struggling, haven’t you?” 

Heeseung scoffed, “Yeah, no thanks to you, Mr. Wanted man,” Jay raised a brow and Heeseung just sighed, “We know what happened at the capitol. I’m sorry for what they did to YN. We all should have gone with you.” 

Jay just shakes his head, “No. I almost lost her. I wouldn’t know what to do if I lost her AND you three.” Jay didn’t want to think about what could have happened. He was back home and was safe and that’s all that matters. Jay asked Heeseung how they found out. Namjoon apparently wasted no time in radioing to Jungkook. Which Jay already figured, hint why he climbed through the window. But Jungkook was furious. The whole safe zone went on lockdown for a few months, but when Jay didn’t return directly after five months, everyone assumed he was either dead or not coming back. Jungkook limited the access Hee, Hoon, and Jake got to outside the zone. Not giving them many smuggler missions and even halving their paydown. The three of them struggled all in terms of punishing Jay. 

Heeseung sat at the table and Jay sat across from him, “Where is YN?” 

Jay took in a breath, “At the caved safe zone.” 

“That’s where you’ve been for half a year?” Heeseung didn’t mean to add the venom that came out when he snapped at Jay, “You settled down with your girlfriend and decided we weren’t worth it?” 

Jay slapped his hands on the table, “That’s NOT what happened!” Jay looks over to Sunghoon and Jake’s bed, seeing them still sleeping, and relaxed in his chair, “I knew they’d be coming for me. And I needed to protect her. Needed to give it time before leaving to come back to get you three.” 

“Get us?” Heeseung asked, folding his arms over his chest. 

Jay nods, “I already figured this place would be on a tougher lockdown. Had to find our other secret way that even JK doesn’t know about. Mostly after I saw our main hole was drilled shut,” he sat back, “I kept the money they gave me to take her there. And I stole all the vials they filled with her blood for the cure. I have plans, but I need you guys with me. Those two months in that cave were only to help YN recover better. The three months of getting her to that cave were hell on her. After what they did.” 

Heeseung nodded, only being able to imagine what you went through, “So you want us to leave and go back to the cave with you?” Jay nodded, “Why did you even leave her alone?! What if Namjoon finds her?” 

“She knows how to use a gun,” Jay quickly said, “We both know that. I showed her all the exits and safe places to run to just in case. It was a bigger risk bringing her with me than leaving her.” 

Heeseung thinned his lips in a line, staring at the table and weighing out the options, “What’s this plan?” 

“We sell her cure blood to those in need. Sell all we have and keep our refuge in the abandoned zone a secret. We use the money we have from the capital and from selling her blood to use for goods, clothing, weapons, and whatever we need. We find another zone to smuggle for, probably with Soobin and his team, and just survive.” 

“Just like we always have,” Heeseung softly says, looking at Jay, taking a few more seconds to think it over, “When are we leaving?” 

“Right now,” Sunghoon said, dropping his backpack to the table, “You guys really don’t know how to fucking whisper.” 

Jay chuckles, seeing Jake right behind him with his backpack, “About time we spread our wings from this hellhole,” Jake joked. 

You stood outside the metal door, rocking back and forth on your feet, it’s been months, they should have arrived already. You walked in circles, then went back inside just to walk in more circles around the cave. You cleaned up a bit and laid down to take a nap, just to barely close your eyes but not fully being able to sleep. 

You stood back up with a sigh and walked back outside. Standing there for what feels like forever until you see them. You couldn’t hold back the smile as Jay, Heeseung, Sunghoon, and Jake walked past the gate. You broke out into a sprint. Jay dropped his weapons and backpack to the ground, bending his knees and spreading his arms out, catching you as you jumped onto him. His arms squeeze you tightly and his lips connect to yours. 

The smile his brothers gave you two makes your heart feel warm. Jay sets you down and pulls his three friends into a big hug before snapping orders for everyone to get inside. 

These people were your home now. Your family. Jay gives you a smile as he tangles his fingers with yours, after everything you two have been through, he was worth it and more. It was just your luck that you stumbled into his world. 

—tags: @alvojake @simpjaes @itachisloverlol @minseongsworld @heeseungshim @allysluvsworld @nyxtwixx @jjaeyunist @in-somnias-world @zeeloveshee @sunpov @xiaoderrrr @butterflywonie @sundoie @cmoundiamante @jentlecoeur @reign-reads @parksunghoonsgf @sparklovespink @wannieepisod @crimnalseung @ilikekpop-c @capri-cuntz @jwnghyuns @kimsunoops @blackhairandbangs @jjongswannabebae @lazy-miya @m3chigo @en-happiness @wonniethepoo @ikeuverse @woninluv @desistay @erehkinnie30 @peachystels @jinspinkflipphone @abysofsteel @randommmmmmvheusbs @minjaexvz @soobywiththebooty @wonryllis @shinrjj @star4rin @iheartjayke @0ctav1asstuff @jakeswifey @hanjisunginc @jinspinkflipphone @jungwonsbabygirl

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[astrolovecosmos]

12th House Strengths & Insights

The 12th House is absolutely the house of undoing and what is hidden. Many times the focus is on challenges, trauma, hidden enemies, and other negativities for this house. Even my own posts have a lot of this. So here are potential hidden strengths and advantages for those who grow within this house.

Aries/Mars: Has a good handle on their anger and assertiveness, learns confidence, picks their battles carefully, embraces their physical desires and prowess, passion is at the heart of their strengths, may love exploring their identity or define it strongly, puts themselves first, doesn't stress over other people's opinions, defends or fights for others and themselves, empowers themselves through bravery, independence, self-focus, and honesty.

Taurus/Libra/Venus: May heal any negative relationships with women in their life or their own femininity, see's beauty in many things - especially themselves, loves the self and has a lot of self-worth, knows how to comfort themselves, learns cooperation, negotiation, and compromise, is so magnetic, finds power through finances and the material world, finds inner security, brings stability or reassurance to others, has power through traits or things others define as "soft" or "weak", many may admire or be inspired by them.

Gemini/Virgo/Mercury: Has an open mind, is empowered through knowledge, is an eternal student and teacher, communication and persuasion become their strength, their sharp mind is their greatest asset, learns to listen to others and themselves, makes space for their voice and opinions, has a talent for cheering others up or ruining their day with just their words and maybe even with a look, embraces flexibility and change, a great problem solver, highly observant, thoughtful, and always ahead of the game.

Cancer/Moon: Their intuition is strong, they are deeply in touch with their emotions and primal self, focuses on healing themselves, can be an amazing healer or counselor, they seek out healthy attachments, they give love freely, compassion is one of their biggest strengths, doesn't fear the magic and sensitivity within them, vulnerability is a strength, protective over others, takes care of people, puts emotional needs first, is fiercely loyal, is the watchdog, learns to be understanding and more careful, guides family and community.

Leo/Sun: Takes pride in themselves and others, realizes their talents and strengths, knows and fights for their worth, speaks up, may embrace the limelight or leadership, uses creativity and bold self-expression to empower, self-motivation and energy become a great resource, creates their individuality, learns to love the self passionately, is grand and faithful in how they love others, defines their own honor and purpose, things like generosity, affection, play, and warmth become easy for them to give/do, learns the importance of putting the self first, makes a strong impression, rules their world.

Scorpio/Pluto: Learns self-forgiveness and how to trust themselves, has a strong connection to their depth, intuition, and subconscious, see's potential in people or things others do not, on the path to self-mastery, may be a spiritual or emotional teacher, leader, or healer, their transformations from what is hidden to what is seen/open may be violent, intense, or stark, knowledge can empower them with a focus on knowledge that is secret, exclusive, hidden, or obscure, empowered through facing their fears or pain, won't shy away from their passion or darkness and finds strength in it, taps into their sex-appeal or magnetism, gains incredible perception and influence.

Sagittarius/Jupiter: Fights for what they believe in, lives and speaks openly, takes big risks for big rewards, makes their own luck, keeps an open mind, finds great meaning in many things, empowers themselves through independence, freedom, truth, and defining their own beliefs, self-faith is their superpower, finds wisdom in being silly or playing the fool, learns to take things less seriously, responsibility may mean something different for them than others, leads and cares for others with passion.

Capricorn/Saturn: On a path to develop self-autonomy and self-authority, they are in control of themselves and their life, learns to be calculated and strategic, keeps a level head under pressure, is in touch with their ambition, may be a hard worker but benefits from working smarter the most, practices accountability, learns that their standards are the only ones that matter, is responsible, defines their own sense of maturity, empowers themselves through skepticism, boundaries, reworking their relationship with authority figures, and learning to express their emotions, learns how to balance asking for help and when to step up to help others, embraces their softer side, self-discipline is a great resource, and they gain useful wisdom.

Aquarius/Uranus: Their individuality shines and they express it and defend it bravely, is empowered through independence, rebellion, acceptance, and intellect, won't hide their knowledge or intelligence, charisma, originality, and being innovative are their strengths, may enjoy a mental challenge, knows when to follow and when to lead, may find being an outsider or being perceived as "strange" as empowering, learns how to embrace change and the unknown, taps into their own chaos, finds beauty in differences, and has a lot to contribute to their friends, community, family, or society, they make an impact or leave a mark with those in their life - even strangers or acquaintances.

Pisces/Neptune: Lives through intuition and emotion in a fulfilling and comfortable way, gets in touch with their spiritual side or spiritual meaning, is a talented healer, learns forgiveness and sacrifice on many levels, empathy, gentleness, and kindness are their strengths, embraces the fluidity of themselves and of life, knows how to find inner and outer clarity, may become a spiritual or emotional teacher or guide, finds inspiration and motivation in their fantasies and escapism, is empowered through change, giving and receiving love openly, and developing emotional insight or wisdom.

[kleopatra45]

Mercury in the Houses of Juno Persona Chart

1st House

When Mercury is in the 1st house of your Juno Persona Chart, communication is a defining feature of how you approach and experience relationships. You naturally express yourself with charm, wit, and mental agility, making intellectual compatibility a priority in partnerships. In marriage, your future partner may be someone who is highly expressive, conversational, and perhaps youthful in demeanor, bringing fresh energy into your life. They are likely to share your enthusiasm for open dialogue, humor, and exchanging ideas. This placement emphasizes the importance of honesty and verbal expression as the foundation for your long-term connection, with dynamic conversations often keeping the spark alive.

2nd House

Mercury in the 2nd house points to a relationship dynamic where discussions about finances, material security, and shared values play a prominent role. Your ideal partner will likely be someone who is grounded, practical, and has a sharp mind for financial or material planning. They may be analytical and resourceful, helping to create stability and clarity in your marriage. Communication about long-term goals, assets, and personal priorities will be essential to the relationship. This placement suggests a marriage where thoughtful conversations about tangible matters strengthen the partnership, creating a sense of shared purpose and mutual understanding.

3rd House

When Mercury is in the 3rd house, intellectual connection and lively communication define your relationships. Your ideal spouse may be someone who is curious, sociable, and highly engaging in conversation. They’ll likely have a strong interest in learning, teaching, or creative writing, and may enjoy mental stimulation through debates or discussions. This placement suggests a partnership filled with excitement, where you and your spouse constantly share ideas and exchange knowledge. Your relationship thrives on intellectual exploration, and your partner’s quick-witted nature keeps the connection vibrant and ever-evolving.

4th House

Mercury in the 4th house signifies that communication in your relationships is deeply tied to emotional security and domestic harmony. Your future spouse may have a reflective and nurturing nature, prioritizing meaningful conversations about family, personal history, and emotional well-being. They’ll likely have a thoughtful approach to creating a peaceful and comfortable home environment. This placement indicates a relationship where heartfelt discussions build trust and understanding. Intellectual and emotional bonding will help you and your partner navigate challenges together, creating a safe and loving partnership rooted in open and honest dialogue.

5th House

With Mercury in the 5th house, communication in your relationships takes on a creative, playful, and passionate tone. Your ideal partner may be someone who inspires you through their artistic expression, humor, or innovative ideas. They could have a flair for storytelling, performing, or other creative pursuits, bringing joy and excitement into your life. This placement suggests a relationship where shared hobbies, laughter, and intellectual engagement foster a deep bond. Conversations will often revolve around creative endeavors, romantic expression, and mutual admiration, keeping the connection light-hearted and fun yet deeply meaningful.

6th House

Mercury in the 6th house indicates that clear and practical communication is vital to your relationships. Your future spouse may have a detail-oriented, analytical approach to life, excelling in managing routines, responsibilities, and problem-solving. They’ll likely support you in organizing your life, offering intellectual insight and practical advice. This placement suggests a marriage where mutual effort, cooperation, and discussions about daily tasks build a strong foundation. By addressing challenges together with a methodical mindset, you and your partner create a balanced and harmonious relationship that thrives on teamwork.

7th House

When Mercury is in the 7th house, intellectual compatibility and balanced communication become central to your relationships. Your ideal partner will be diplomatic, articulate, and skilled at fostering harmony through thoughtful discussions. They’ll value fairness and logic in resolving conflicts, creating a sense of mutual respect and understanding. This placement indicates a marriage where the exchange of ideas keeps the relationship healthy and fulfilling. Together, you’ll create a partnership that emphasizes equality, shared goals, and a deep intellectual connection, ensuring that you both feel seen and heard.

8th House

Mercury in the 8th house brings a depth and intensity to communication in your relationships. Your future spouse may have a mysterious, intuitive quality, often engaging in deep conversations about life’s complexities, such as emotions, psychology, or shared resources. They might possess a talent for uncovering hidden truths, fostering profound intellectual and emotional intimacy. This placement suggests a relationship where transformative discussions and a mutual understanding of each other’s inner worlds create an unbreakable bond. Together, you’ll explore life’s mysteries, growing closer through shared exploration of both light and shadow.

9th House

With Mercury in the 9th house, your relationships are infused with a sense of adventure, philosophical inquiry, and intellectual growth. Your ideal partner will likely be someone who loves to explore different cultures, belief systems, or academic pursuits. They’ll inspire you to broaden your horizons through meaningful conversations about life’s bigger questions. This placement suggests a marriage where shared learning and open-mindedness create a sense of fulfillment. Together, you’ll thrive on expanding your worldviews, whether through travel, education, or shared spiritual exploration.

10th House

Mercury in the 10th house suggests that communication in your relationships focuses on ambition, career goals, and shared aspirations. Your future spouse may be highly driven, articulate, and strategic in their approach to life. They’ll likely value discussions about achieving long-term success and may work in a field that requires leadership or public communication. This placement indicates a marriage where mutual support and intellectual collaboration help you both achieve your dreams. Together, you’ll create a partnership that’s built on shared goals, professional respect, and a clear vision for the future.

11th House

Mercury in the 11th house brings an innovative, forward-thinking energy to your relationships. Your ideal spouse may be someone who values collaboration, social causes, and shared dreams. They’ll likely be creative, progressive, and community-oriented, encouraging you to think outside the box. This placement suggests a marriage where intellectual connection and a shared vision for the future are vital. Together, you’ll thrive in group settings and work on projects that make a positive impact, using your combined strengths to create a meaningful and exciting partnership.

12th House

With Mercury in the 12th house, communication in your relationships takes on an intuitive and mystical quality. Your ideal partner may have a deeply introspective, spiritual, or artistic nature, fostering quiet moments of profound connection. They’ll likely be someone who understands your unspoken thoughts and feelings, creating a bond rooted in empathy and shared understanding. This placement suggests a marriage where deep conversations about hidden truths, dreams, or spiritual growth strengthen the relationship. Together, you’ll find fulfillment in exploring the subtle, unseen dimensions of life.

©️kleopatra45

[spidermanifested]

heres MY rambly black sails analysis for the day, after watching the show twice in as many months i wholeheartedly believe in the "long john silvers quote unquote missus in treasure island is max, not madi" theory

the most obvious thing, as others have pointed out, is that in treasure island long john silver runs an inn with his wife, a black woman, in bristol, which is absolutely not madi behavior-- i cannot imagine madi would take him back in the first place much less move with him TO ENGLAND-- but IS maxs exact area of expertise. but theres so many other things that cement it for me

as early as episode 2, max tries to convince eleanor to buy out the inn and run it together with her when england takes nassau back. this is her dream-- to share power over her life with a woman she loves, free of the pressures of the outside world. (youll note this also happens to be silvers dream for himself and madi. the parallels)

in season 4 shes faced with the suspiciously similar option to take a husband to be the face of her business, completely on paper, for the sake of the public eye. and she refuses! she doesnt want to give a man that kind of power over her. not only that but she desperately wants to retain some kind of truth in her identity-- she admires anne for her honesty, her courage. these are things she can rarely afford to express. in refusing a marriage of convenience, she asserts her autonomy.

But. black sails tells us over and over again that an oppressive society will always find ways to batter down these private boundaries. there is no island safe from colonial rule. mirandas peaceful house in the interior is burnt to the ground. the maroons are forced to accept a freedom that comes at the price of abandoning those still enslaved and taking part in their continued subjugation. the things it takes to make these spaces are terrible, and unsustainable, and when it comes to being gay in the 1700s there is a tightrope to walk between privilege and privacy, one that destroyed flint and the hamiltons, thats even narrower to max as a self-made woman of color.

given all that, i do not believe she can girlboss her way out of her circumstances no matter how many lessons she took from what happened to eleanor. nor do i think the show believes it. i think the political-marriage-offer plot point is another illustration of that theme-- maxs desire, and silvers desire, to build a warm, happy room in the middle of the imperial machine, without meaningfully striking out against the machine itself, is destined to be futile no matter how strong they are as individuals.

max and silver are mirror images of one another. each of them is essentially the narrator of one half of the story. it is absolutely agonizing how BOTH of them tried to convince their lovers to abandon their ambitions, to settle for a quiet life with them, and in doing so saw that relationship destroyed by their own fear of an uncertain future....

....And its even MORE agonizing to imagine them finally securing the trappings of a domestic life... but without the love. and they know the love was what mattered! theyre always going to know!!!

it bookends PERFECTLY with their alliance at the start of the series. theyre right where they started, trusting no one, pretending to be humble and harmless, planning to steal the EXACT SAME TREASURE, except now theyre 50 years old and jaded and bitter and both pining after their lost loves. silver probably pictures madi whenever he tells people about his wife. when he and max have time to themselves they talk solely about finances and nothing else. its honestly impressive how miserable this is for every single person involved. im losing my mind

[blakeswritingimagines]

How They Worship You

Aegon: He prioritizes quality time together, whether it's through shared meals, adventures, or quiet moments together. He prioritizes physical intimacy and expresses affection in ways that make you feel cared for and desired. He prioritizes your well-being, from emotional support to practical assistance. He plans special surprises and gestures to show you how much he cares. He prioritizes your opinions and feelings and works to build a healthy and equal partnership based on mutual respect.

Aemond: He expresses his support and loyalty to his partner through small and big gestures, such as making you your favorite meal, planning outings and adventures together, or simply holding your hand and reassuring you of his love and devotion. He works hard to build a stable and secure relationship by being a reliable presence in your life, and by consistently showing up for you in all aspects of life, whether it's career, personal life, or the bedroom. He always strives to make you feel safe, heard, and loved, and to be the best version of himself for you.

Jacaerys: He worships his partner by prioritizing your happiness, needs, and desires. He makes sure you feel loved and appreciated by demonstrating kindness, respect, and affection. He is present and engaged when you speak, and he makes an effort to listen with his whole being. He supports your goals and dreams, and he is open to exploring new experiences with you. He prioritizes communication, honesty, and understanding, and works to build trust and deepen connection. He takes time to express his love and admiration and cherish every moment spent together.

Lucerys: He worships his partner by doing small acts of kindness, such as offering a warm cup of tea, giving a massage, or writing you a heartfelt letter. He makes an effort to be thoughtful and proactive, remembering important dates and occasions, and surprises you with unexpected gestures. He takes time to learn your love languages and adapt his behavior to make you feel loved in the ways that resonate most deeply with you.

Rhaenyra: She strives to be a safe and reliable partner, someone you can trust and depend on. She shows up for you through action, not just words, and follows through on her commitments. She is open and honest, and communicates clearly, respectfully, and openly with you. She is willing to compromise and find mutual solutions to problems, and she approaches conflicts with an open mind and a willingness to listen and learn. She works to strengthen your connection and build a partnership based on mutual respect and equality.

Daemon: He worships his partner by making time to spend together, whether it's going on dates, having intimate moments, or simply enjoying each other's company. He prioritizes your comfort, security, and stability, and works to create a safe and supportive environment. He is willing to compromise and make sacrifices for the sake of the relationship, and he tries to be forgiving and understanding when mistakes or conflicts arise. He prioritizes physical touch and makes sure to express his desire through physical connection.

Alicent: She honors your boundaries and respects your space, understanding that you need time to yourself and independence like anyone else. She expresses her love and appreciation through both words and actions, such as planning dates and leaving notes to let you know you are on her mind. She prioritizes your well-being, offering support and assistance whenever she can. She is committed to personal growth, both for herself and for the betterment of your relationship. She is always open and communicating, not only to listen but also to be vulnerable and express her feelings.

Helena: Her devotion to her partner goes beyond anything simple. She ensures that you feel safe with her, both physically and emotionally, and she works to create a secure and stable foundation for your relationship. She is dependable and consistent, following through on her words and actions. She shows respect for your autonomy and individuality, allowing you the space and freedom to be yourself. She takes an interest in your hobbies, passions, and pursuits, and she celebrates your successes. She makes an effort to maintain intimacy and connection, both physically and emotionally, and she prioritizes spending quality time together.

Harwin: He surprises you with small gestures of affection like buying your favorite snacks or leaving love notes. He plans fun date nights and makes sure you feel pampered and prioritized. He also makes an effort to spend quality time with you, engaging in activities you enjoy and actively listening to your thoughts and feelings.

Cregan: He expresses his love through small acts of kindness and thoughtfulness, such as getting your favorite dish, giving you a comforting hug, or surprising you with a small gift. Additionally, he makes an effort to prioritize your emotional and physical well-being. He helps with housework and other tasks and makes sure you have adequate rest and time to relax. He is supportive and understanding during challenges and setbacks and offers comfort and assurance when you need it. Overall, he makes it his priority to make you feel loved, valued, and respected at all times.

Criston: He expresses his love through acts of service, like making you your favorite meal or doing small gestures to make your life easier. He surprises you with unexpected gifts or experiences that reflect your interests and bring joy. He makes an effort to learn about your love language and communicate in a way that resonates with you. He prioritizes quality time together, whether it's a romantic date night or simply cuddling on the couch. He shows vulnerability and a willingness to grow and learn with you, and he makes it a priority to be a safe and supportive space for you.

[astrofaeology]

Groom in the Signs

paid readings | Masterlist

ᡣ𐭩 Please support me by reposting, liking, following me and commenting your placement. The asterioid groom (5129) can reveal the charteristics of your future husband and your relationship with your masculine romantic interests can be derived from the placement in your natal chart.

0º is the degree which doesn't have a coresponding sign assigned to it. It's a fresh new degree and will amplify the themes of the sign that it's in

Aries (1,13,25º) Your romantic partners may take life by it's head, possibly holding your hand and pulling you into adventure. He may have a pioneering spirit, always ready to take action and face challenges head-on. This man is confident and independent, often leading in his pursuits, and will bring a sense of adventure and passion to the relationship. He'll encourage you to be your most authentic self and not to worry about fitting in.

Taurus (2, 14, 26°) Such relaxing and calming energy, the men in your life will want to make you feel comfortable and at ease. Possibly may want to cook for you and wrap you around a soft blanket. Relationships with men may be quite domineering aswell with taurus also being stubborn. He likely values comfort, stability, and the pleasures of life, such as good food, nature, and material security. This partner may be patient and practical, with a strong desire to build a lasting home and family foundation.

Gemini (3, 15, 27°) Communication and witful banter is apparent with this placement, relationship with men may engage with playful teasing and an need to explore eachothers minds. This man values variety and freedom of expression, and may often play the role of the witty conversationalist or social connector. He may also have a youthful, playful spirit.

Cancer (4, 16, 28°) this points to a romantic partners who are emotionally nurturing, sensitive, and protective. Family and home life are very important to the men in your life, and thy tends to express love through caring actions and emotional support. This partner is likely deeply intuitive and values emotional security, often placing great importance on creating a warm, safe, and loving household.

Leo (5, 17, 29°) Bravo and leo go together however with the placement howver simulatenously this placement does show affinity to hypnotise a room. This placement does suggest that the men in your life may want to show you off and perhaps be a powercouple with you. These men often exudes a strong presence and loves to express his affection with grand gestures or romantic flair.

Virgo (6, 18° ) suggests that the men in your life are practical, detail-oriented, and helpful. They likely shows love by being attentive to the small things and offering support through service and care. These partner values order, health, and responsibility and may have a methodical approach to life and relationships. Their affection might be subtle but consistent, built on trust and dependability.

Libra (7, 19°) Charming, diplomatic, and focused on harmony, your future husband values fairness, balance, and partnership. The romantic interests in your life are excellent at planning dates and creating that romantic mood. They seeks to create beauty and peace in his environment and has a strong sense of romance. Conflict resolution is important to him, and he prioritizes mutual understanding and cooperation.

Scorpio( 8, 20°) Intense, passionate, and deeply loyal, this partner has a mysterious aura and values emotional depth and transformation. The men in your life have a deep fire within them and such relationships are always transformativv. Protective and with a powerful presence, he requires trust and honesty. The relationship may involve profound emotional growth and shared secrets.

Sagittarius (9, 21°) Optimistic, adventurous, and freedom-loving, your future husband values exploration both physical and intellectual. Drawn to big ideas, travel, and philosophical conversations, he encourages growth and independence. He brings a joyful, expansive energy that inspires seeing the bigger picture.

Capricorn (10, 22º) Responsible, ambitious, and disciplined, this man takes commitments seriously and works hard to provide security and stability. With strong leadership qualities, he values tradition and structure. His love is demonstrated through practical support and a steady, reliable presence.

Aquarius (11, 23°) Innovative, intellectual, and a bit unconventional, your future husband values friendship and freedom within the relationship. Drawn to unique or progressive ideas, he might have a humanitarian streak and enjoys social causes or group involvement. Emotionally independent yet deeply loyal to his ideals.

Pisces (12, 24°) Compassionate, dreamy, and sensitive, this partner has a strong artistic or spiritual side. He expresses love with empathy and imagination, often idealizing romance and seeking deep soul connections. Emotional openness and kindness define his approach to partnership.

DISCLAIMER: This post is a generalisation and may not resonate. I recommend you get a reading from an astrologer (me). If you want a reading from me check out my sales page.

@astrofaeology private services 2025 all rights reserved

[astroxrion]

♥️🍒🖤📌🖤🍒♥️

How to Make Love to your partner based on their Mars Sign

♥️🍒🖤📌🖤🍒♥️

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Mars in Aries 🍒

They prefer touch that is confident and straightforward. They move quickly, act boldly, and respond best when desire is shown without hesitation. They enjoy being pursued but love the thrill of leading. They want passion that feels physical, urgent, and direct.

Mars in Taurus 🍒

They value physicality that is patient and deeply rooted. They want steady hands, unhurried closeness, and a pace that builds slowly. Pressure matters, rhythm matters, and so does presence. They connect through long touch and undistracted attention.

Mars in Gemini 🍒

They enjoy playful, mentally stimulating intimacy. They like touch that changes pace, teasing words, and spontaneous energy. They want variety and lightness, and they crave someone who can keep up with their curiosity, both physically and mentally.

Mars in Cancer 🍒

They respond best to warmth and emotional depth. They prefer soft, caring touch and a safe atmosphere. They need to feel secure to fully let go. Affection means more when it’s consistent, intuitive, and quietly intimate, not overly performative.

Mars in Leo 🍒

They want to be fully seen and thoroughly appreciated. They enjoy confident touch, sincere praise, and connection that feels both passionate and playful. They light up when they feel desired. Make them feel special and you unlock their full fire.

Mars in Virgo 🍒

They want to get it right—technically and emotionally. They’re detail-oriented, attentive, and tuned in to your needs. Cleanliness, pacing, and clear signals matter. They take their time but stay focused. Precision is pleasure to them.

Mars in Libra 🍒

They prefer touch that’s graceful, romantic, and harmonized. They enjoy connection that flows, with mutual desire and beauty in every move. They respond to rhythm, balance, and a clear sense of emotional reciprocity. Seduce them with subtlety and charm.

Mars in Scorpio 🍒

They need emotional honesty and depth. They prefer slow, intentional movements and quiet intensity. They aren’t interested in performance. They want to feel fully present and fully received. If they trust you, they give themselves completely.

Mars in Sagittarius 🍒

They want freedom, energy, and exploration. Keep things light but exciting. They’re most alive when they’re surprised. A playful, spontaneous approach keeps them engaged. They like things a little wild, but only when the energy feels natural.

Mars in Capricorn 🍒

They value control, timing, and consistency. They take their time but rarely lose focus. Touch should be firm, clear, and intentional. They respect effort and structure, and once they’re in, they stay committed to giving everything with quiet intensity.

Mars in Aquarius 🍒

They enjoy originality, mental chemistry, and a break from routine. They like touch that’s unique, with unexpected shifts or new ideas. Give them space, keep things fresh, and engage their mind first. They open when they feel both curious and emotionally safe.

Mars in Pisces 🍒

They prefer softness and emotional fusion. They enjoy dreamy, fluid contact where emotion and touch are inseparable. It’s not about technique, it’s about presence. If they feel spiritually and emotionally in sync, they’ll melt into you without a word.