#tss headers

[cpunkbubby]

now i have to transfer all my blogs to here -_-

[adascore]

Hello! Not sure if you’re taking requests but would you consider doing an addition to TSS where young!arsenal reader was starting before Beth and Viv came back and has been benched majority of the time since (Kyra core☹️). Maybe during like the west ham game was one of the subs thrown on halfway through and after the loss made a snarky comment about “being thrown on to unfuck everything” type of thing to another teammate and Viv/beth overhear and think she’s talking about them (maybe they’re already a little insecure about losing such an “easy” game, self doubt post ACL) and things are super frosty and weird at home until one of them snaps and makes a comment about how they still wouldn’t have won even if R started. Hurt/comfort angst but with a happy ending!! Not sure if any of that strikes your fancy but I had the thought and you’re so talented:) no worries if not!!!

To Jump The Gun(ners)

pairings: arsenal x teen!reader / meadema x teen!reader / kyra cooney-cross x arsenal!reader

warnings: the west-ham match. swearing. angst. awkwardness.

author’s note: OMG LOVE THIS IDEA ! like this was right up my alley I felt like 😭 thank you so much, and I hope you enjoy the story!

masterlist

February 4, 2024 - Essex, England

It had become a routine, seeing her name and number on the bench. She took a glance at Kyra, a knowing look in her eyes.

The young Arsenal homegrown wondered where it all had gotten wrong. Well, she knew the answer, but it wasn't exactly something she could say out loud to anyone.

She was transported back to the 2022/23 season, where she would warm the bench until either Vivianne or Beth were too tired or they needed to be rested for the next match.

Their injuries had changed everything.

Y/N not only became a regular starter, but became a vital part of their game. Her absence would be noticed.

She scored the goals that got them to the semifinals of the Champions League, keeping them level with 2x champions Wolfsburg.

However, Beth and Vivianne were back now. Alessia's arrival also didn't help much, the former Manchester United player having cemented herself into the starting line-up.

It also didn't help that Jonas was not a fan of rotating. Only in specific Conti Cup matches or against what he deemed 'weaker' teams in the league would he make changes to the usual starting XI.

In other words, she was back to step 1.

That's why it was hard to watch her teammates falling 2-1 behind against West Ham, with no one seeming to find an answer or any will to turn the game around. It was a painful spectacle.

In the 63rd minute, Jonas decided to throw herself, Kyra and Cloé in the match, and take out Vivianne, Victoria and Beth. It was a desperate attempt, and the three Gunners found themselves on the pitch, tasked with the challenging mission of trying to fix everything that had gone wrong so far.

Y/N and Cloé quickly created some chances but the West Ham defense or the swift reflexes of Mackenzie Arnold saw them go in vain.

The teenager could see the expressions of her teammates on the bench, visibly frustrated with how the match had unfolded since Alessia's successful header.

Vivianne couldn't hide the discontent in her eyes as she sat with a subtle shake of her head. Her partner, sitting beside her, noticed and Beth patted her thigh, offering silent support as they continued to watch their team scramble for a late equalizer.

As the final whistle blew, the disappointment within the team was high. Y/N did her usual post-match routine, and congratulated all the West Ham players on their win, while giving and receiving solace from her own teammates.

The teen found Kyra again, someone who she had found a friendship in over the months the Australian had joined the Gunners.

''You alright?'' The midfielder asked her, a dejected tone in her voice.

Y/N nodded. ''Yeah, you?''

''Not too great, but there are worse things in life.'' Kyra responded, trying to put the loss in perspective.

''True,'' the striker agreed, ''I can't believe he keeps putting us in these positions.''

Kyra nodded. ''You think he would learn after Tottenham.'' She sighed.

''Apparently, we're not good enough to start, but when he needs us to unfuck everything that happened, then he knows who we are.'' Y/N said, her frustration evident. The unfair treatment of some players during the season lingered in the air, leaving a bitter taste after the defeat.

As the youngsters continued their conversation on their way to the locker room, Vivianne and Beth, unintentionally overhearing their discussion, exchanged puzzled glances.

''Did you hear that? 'Unfuck everything'?'' Beth repeated her housemate's words to her partner.

Vivianne's brow furrowed as she processed what was said. ''Yeah,'' the Dutchwoman breathed out, ''not very nice.'' A hint of sadness lingered in her voice. It stung that their efforts were being discussed in such terms, especially by the young girl they were living with.

They didn't say much else to one another as they strolled through the corridor.

The atmosphere in the locker room was subdued, void of any banter and entertaining chats. Most of the players were already there as the couple walked in.

Beth took a glimpse at Y/N and Kyra who still seemed in a discussion with one another, although they were whispering now.

''Girls, we're a lot better than this.'' Kim broke the ice, a neutral expression on her face.

Everyone nodded at the captain, the collective disappointment from the match was visible. ''Well, it's done, we can't change anything about it. So, everyone just do a reset, try to get some sleep or distract yourselves on the bus, and I expect everyone with fresh minds and legs at training.''

The team nodded and weakly applauded Kim's small speech.

As the team began to disperse, Y/N caught Beth's eye, offering a faint smile in greeting. However, the winger's response was noticeably strained, her usually warm demeanor replaced by a subtle tension.

"Everything okay?" The younger one ventured, her concern evident.

Beth's smile faltered slightly, her gaze flickering away before returning to meet Y/N's. "Yeah, everything's fine." She replied, though her words sounded hollow even to her own ears.

The striker's brow furrowed further, a flicker of uncertainty clouding her features. "Are you sure?" She pressed gently, not used to this awkwardness from her teammate.

"I... yeah, I'm sure." She retorted, her voice tinged with irritation.

"Okay..." Y/N trailed off, unsure of how to proceed. Sensing the dismissiveness between them, she offered a hesitant smile before turning back to where she had been talking with Lia.

As her housemate walked away, Beth's expression hardened, a pang of guilt gnawing at her conscience. She knew she shouldn't act like this towards her, but her words had really struck a nerve for some reason and it was hard to pretend it didn't.

The drive home on the bus wasn't that different, though the atmosphere was more subdued due to the loss. Y/N and Kyra were seated next to each other, Katie and Caitlin sitting on the other side of them.

''You alright, Y/N?'' Caitlin asked, noticing the youngster's quietness.

Y/N looked up, glancing away from her nails to the older Australian player. She hesitated answering, not knowing if it was appropriate to say anything about her interaction with Beth.

She sat up straight and motioned for the three of them to huddle together over the small table. They got her message and did just that.

''Did anything happen on the bench or something? Cause I had this weird exchange with Meado, and it's just stuck in my head.'' She explained, her voice hushed.

They all frowned at her words. ''No, she was just frustrated about the game, but so was everyone else.'' Caitlin responded.

''What happened?'' Katie chimed in, curious to know about this exchange.

''I don't know. She was looking at me in the locker room, and I smiled at her, but she, I don't know, just looked weird at me. I asked her if she was alright, but she was kinda distant with me? She responded a little irritated so I left her alone, but it was weird.'' Y/N gave a small summary of the interaction.

"That is strange." Kyra mused, breaking the silence that had settled over their huddle.

They nodded at her words, agreeing with the young Australian.

''I didn't notice anything.'' Caitlin said with a pout, feeling sorry she couldn't help her younger teammate out. ''Me neither, kiddo.'' Katie added, a similar expression on her face.

Y/N smiled sadly, disappointed she wasn't any wiser on Beth. Katie rubbed her arm once she noticed her dejected expression. ''Hey, I wouldn't worry about it. It's a tough loss.''

The youngster nodded at the Irishwoman's words. ''Yeah, you're right.''

Katie was not right.

As soon as she got in the car with the beloved couple it was clear that something had gone down for them to act in such a sour mood. Vivianne's knuckles were white against the steering wheel, while Beth stared out of the window, her expression unreadable.

Sensing the palpable tension, Y/N shifted uncomfortably in her seat. The youngster wanted to break the silence, but the words wouldn't come out. It felt like they were stuck in her throat.

The drive home felt like forever. Every minute made the atmosphere worse. Y/N tried to catch Vivianne or Beth's eye, hoping for some sign that things would get better, but there was nothing.

Car rides after losses were never filled with much conversation, but it had never been like this.

A wave of relief went through her as the car was parked in front of their apartment complex, longing for the comfort of her room where she could hide from whatever the situation was.

Y/N couldn't even come up with a guess on what had transpired. Did they have a fight? Did she do something? Did someone else do something?

She had absolutely no clue.

However, the tension seemed to follow them into their shared home. The silence had become even more deafening with each step they took.

Beth disappeared into her room without a word, while Vivianne headed straight for the kitchen, her movements stiff and mechanical. Y/N stood in the hallway, feeling like an outsider in her own home.

Their behaviors made her feel anxious, feeling that knot inside her stomach. What had happened during the game? What had caused them to retreat into themselves like this?

Unable to handle any of it longer, Y/N tentatively approached the Dutchwoman in the kitchen. "Um, Viv?" She began, her voice small.

Vivianne glanced up, her expression guarded. "Yeah?” She replied, accent heavy.

The younger girl hesitated, unsure of how to broach the subject. "I, uh, did, uh, something happen at the game?" She stammered, her words stumbling over each other in her haste to get everything out.

The striker's eyebrows furrowed. "What are you talking about?” She asked, her face neutral.

Her response only added to the youngest one's confusion. It seemed as though they were both dancing around a subject neither wanted to address.

"I-I just... noticed things were a bit off between everyone after the match," Y/N explained, her voice barely above a whisper, "and, well, the car ride home was... a bit weird, you know.”

Vivianne's expression softened slightly, though her guard remained up. ''Don't worry about it. Just… frustration from the game.''

But Y/N couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to it than just frustration. She wanted to press further, but the fear of causing further conflict held her back.

Instead, she offered a hesitant nod. ''Okay, good.'' She murmured to the floor, retreating back to her room with a heavy heart.

The Arsenal homegrown player pulled her phone out of her pocket, searching up Kyra's contact. It only took a few rings for the Australian to pick up, she was probably already on her phone as she was called.

''Hey.'' Her accent momentarily bringing a smile to Y/N's face.

''Hey, you're home?''

''Yeah, just arrived. What's up?''

There was a brief pause before Y/N continued. ''Things have gotten a bit weirder since, uh, on the bus.''

''Shit. What happened?'' She asked, her voice filled with genuine worry.

''It's just... the tension at home is almost suffocating," she explained, ''it was completely silent the entire time we were driving home, and when we got home, Beth immediately went to her room. I tried to ask Viv about, but she told me it was just frustrations, but it clearly is not just that.''

There was a moment of silence as Kyra processed Y/N's words. "That doesn't sound good," she finally replied, ''you really have no idea what might have happened? Maybe they had a fight or something?''

Y/N shook her head, even though her teammate couldn't see it. "No, that's the thing. I'm completely lost." She admitted, frustration lacing her words.

''Same. I wish I knew what to say to help.'' Kyra said softly.

''It's alright, Ky. Thanks for letting me ramble.'' Y/N chuckled, appreciating the opportunity to unload her worries onto her friend.

''It's fine, honestly. It must not be fun to be in this situation,'' the Matilda replied, feeling for her friend, ''if anything else happens you can always let me know, okay? I'm gonna have some dinner now.''

Y/N smiled gratefully. "Thanks, Ky. I really appreciate it.”

''Anytime. Take care, I'll see you at training.''

''You too. Bye, bye.'' They bid each other goodbye before hanging up the phone.

Y/N prepared to leave her room again, wanting to check if Vivianne had started dinner yet or not.

Just as she stepped into the hallway, she nearly collided with Beth, who was coming out of her room with a tight-lipped expression. The sudden encounter caught them both off guard.

''Shit, sorry.'' The younger one apologized first, giving her housemate an awkward glance.

''It's alright,'' Beth brushed off, ''uh, were you on the phone just now?" She asked, her brow furrowing slightly.

Y/N nodded. ''Uh, yeah, with Kyra.''

Beth's expression shifted, a flicker of something unreadable crossing her features. "Oh, Kyra." She murmured, her voice tight.

The younger girl simply stared at the winger, not knowing what to say to her words. "Is everything okay?" Y/N ventured, her voice hesitant as she searched Beth's face for any sign of what might be bothering her.

Beth's lips pressed into a thin line, and for a moment, she seemed lost in thought. When she finally spoke, her words were tinged with a hint of irritation. ''Everything's alright.''

Y/N offered a small, uneasy smile and nodded. "Oh, okay." She said, though her words felt hollow even to her own ears.

With a nod of acknowledgment, Beth turned to walk away. As she watched Beth disappear around the corner, she wondered if it had been something she had done. However, she couldn't recall saying or doing anything that day that would have provoked this kind of demeanor from the couple.

The young striker walked into the living room, noticing Vivianne bustling about in the kitchen. But what caught Y/N's attention was the hushed whispers exchanged between the couple, Beth and Vivianne not being subtle about their gossiping.

A sense of discomfort washed over the youngster as she hesitated in the doorway, unsure whether to interrupt or retreat unnoticed. But before she could make a decision, the Dutchwoman glanced up and caught her eye, her expression inscrutable.

''Hey, dinner is almost ready. Just some leftover pasta from yesterday.'' She informed Y/N, her tone somewhat forced as she attempted to maintain a facade of normalcy.

Y/N forced a smile. ''Nice, thanks, Viv.'' She answered, trying to ignore the awkwardness that hung in the air.

She retreated to the couch, feeling as if she wasn't welcome in the small space. Something was off, and she couldn't help but feel like she was on the outside looking in.

She scrolled on her phone for a few minutes before Vivianne called her to the table as the food was ready. As they gathered around the dinner table, the atmosphere remained strained, the tension thick enough to cut with a knife.

Vivianne served up the leftover pasta, her movements brisk as she avoided making eye contact with anyone. Beth sat across from Y/N, her expression unreadable as she picked at her food.

Y/N tried to focus on her food, but the uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach made it difficult to swallow.

For a few moments, the only sound was the clinking of forks against plates, the silence punctuated only by the occasional awkward cough or clearing of throat.

Finally, unable to bear the tension any longer, Y/N opened her mouth. "So, um, what did you guys think about the match?'' She asked the pair, her voice coming out more high than she had intended.

As if on cue, Vivianne and Beth glanced up from their plates at the same time.

''It was tough, but it shouldn't have been tough. We lacked a clear tactic.'' The experienced striker answered, filling up the silence.

Y/N nodded, relieved at least one of them responded to her attempt at conversation. She took a peek at Beth, who did not seem amused in the slightest to talk about the surprising defeat earlier that day.

''It was just another match of us fucking everything up, and you kids having to unfuck it all.'' Beth said, her tone dripping with sarcasm.

The youngest's eyes widened slightly at the cutting remark, not expecting those words to come out of the Brit's mouth.

Vivianne shifted uncomfortably in her seat, casting a quick glance at Y/N before fixing her gaze on her partner. "Beth, that's enough.'' Her voice was stern, warning Beth that this was not the way to go about this.

But Beth ignored her girlfriend, her eyes fixed on Y/N with an intensity that made her squirm. ''No, she needs to learn to not talk about teammates that way, especially the ones that have just gotten back from serious injuries, and need time to reintegrate into the group.''

Y/N felt a flush of embarrassment creeping up her neck, she cast a desperate look at Vivianne, silently pleading for her to intervene and diffuse the situation before it escalated any further.

''Beth, I wasn't-''

''You weren't what? You weren't talking shit to Kyra about us right after the match? You weren't talking shit about us to Kyra on the phone just now?'' The oldest continued in an accusing tone.

Vivianne let out a sigh, her frustration evident as she attempted to defuse the situation. ''Beth.'' She said firmly, her gaze shifting between the two other people at the table.

''I wasn't talking shit about you guys. I would never do that.'' Y/N managed to let out, offended at the mere idea of her not appreciating the two women who'd let her move in with them a 1,5 years ago.

''Y/N, we heard you. On the pitch after the match, with Kyra.'' Beth responded bluntly.

Y/N swallowed hard, slightly ashamed of being caught. ''We were just... we were just frustrated, okay? That comment wasn't directed at any of you guys, it was more at Jonas, to be fair.''

The couple grew silent at the admission, realizing they had greatly misunderstood the two young girls' conversation. ''About Jonas?'' Vivianne repeated, her voice carrying a note of embarrassment.

The young striker nodded. ''Yeah, me and Kyra have just been a bit upset with our game time, that's all. It felt like a repeat of the Tottenham game.''

Beth and Vivianne exchanged a glance, coming to a silent understanding. ''We're sorry for jumping the gun on that one, darling. We really thought we needed to teach you some manners.'' The Brit nervously apologized with a chuckle.

''It's alright, we probably should've been a bit more discreet.'' Y/N brushed her apology off with a hand gesture.

''No, you two are in your full right to complain.'' Vivianne retorted, agreeing on the playing time matter.

The teenager waited a few moments before elaborating. ''I don't mind sitting on the bench, it's great to get rest, you know? But it almost feels like he doesn't trust me to get the game starting or something. I like to think I did great last season, so this kind of sucks.'' She opened up, not having voiced these thoughts to anyone but Kyra.

''You did amazing last season, you stepped up when we needed someone and the team will never forget that.'' Beth smiled, squeezing the youngster' s hand.

''It seems that Jonas forgot.'' Y/N muttered bitterly, looking down at her empty plate.

The couple silenced themselves at her mumbled words, not knowing what the appropriate response would be to cheer her up about the situation. They were indirectly responsible for the young girl to not get as much game time anymore, so whatever they would tell her, she would most likely not feel much better afterwards.

''Just focus on what you're doing right now. Show up to training, recover well, maximize everything in the minutes you do get. Show him that he should trust you to start, and that you deserve to have that spot in the line-up.'' Vivianne chimed in, her voice soft but resolute.

Y/N nodded at the older woman's words, though her demeanor still seemed dejected. ''Yeah, I'll continue to do that.'' It came out somewhat passive aggressive.

''I know it doesn't fix the situation, but you're my personal star girl, regardless whether you play or not.'' Beth softly smiled at her.

The teen managed to crack a small smile back, appreciating the sentiment. ''Thanks, Beth.''

''You're mine too.'' Vivianne added.

''Hey, that's my compliment for her! Find another one if you want to be cute!'' Beth scolded her partner, dramatically feigning annoyance.

The Dutchwoman frowned. ''Everyone calls her ‘star girl'! You're not original either!'' She pouted back.

Y/N couldn't help but let out a chuckle at the banter between the couple, happily accepting the momentary distraction from her frustrations.

Beth playfully rolled her eyes. ''At least I'm complimenting her!''

''Sorry that I was just giving useful advice, Bethany.'' Vivianne retorted.

''Useful.'' The Brit repeated, her voice heavily tinged with sarcasm.

Vivianne's mouth gaped, pretending to be offended. ''It was useful! That's what I would have wanted to hear at 19 year-old.'' She defended herself.

''19 year-old's want to hear praise, Viv. They want to be called star girls, not receive a lecture.'' Beth quickly replied, with a smirk.

''Y/N, it was useful, right?'' The older striker turned towards the teenager.

''Yeah, Y/N, tell Miss Miedema how useful her advice was.'' Beth chorused her words, grinning from ear-to-ear.

The youngster simply glanced between the two of them, before picking up her empty plate and standing up from her seat. ''I'm taking this as my sign to leave.''

She ignored their pleas with a satisfied grin, making her way to the kitchen to dump her plate, and walking back to her room.

The couple watched her depart, sharing a knowing look, a hint of amusement dancing in their eyes. ''She's gonna call Kyra, isn't she?'' Vivianne chuckled.

''She so is.'' Beth agreed with a laugh.

requests are always welcome!

[faelayouts]

hey, hope all is well!! I was wondering if you could do Harry styles x random headers!? thank you so much :-)

ba dum tss! here you are !! enjoy :-)

[hgstuff]

harley quinn headers

like or reblog if u save and pls don't repost without credits ✨

requested by @nicozzor

[hiloedits]

— enrique mercado-lopez headers

like or reblog if you use/save.

© hiloedits on twitter.

[theantonovas]

this savage song headers

• like or reblog if you save/use

• give credits to @daemyragf on twitter

[jacedits]

— 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝗮𝘃𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝗲𝘀𝘀𝘆 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀

• like or reblog if you save, please.

• credit me on twitter if u use @/meritvitalio.

[5secondcookies]

Patton, Logan, Roman, and Virgil blog header moodboards!! i will definitely be doing Janus and Remus as well eventually but i wanted to get these posted. these are sized for mobile headers (roughly 1200 × 672 unless tumblr compresses them)

i take requests for icons and headers like this if anyone would be interested!

[willgrahymn]

Genuinely do not know if I will ever experience the same amount of absolute pure euphoria as I did when I first watched Flirting with Social Anxiety.

[pocket-void]

your reputation??? super sweet and kind and talented and and I love your content!!! when I see your url I get dopamine like oh!!! its them!!!! and also briefly think about how your url is aesthetic

BDJDJSKD DUDE!! ;///;✨💖💖💕✨💖💕

You’re also very very cool!! Like?? Your art?? Immaculate, bless. Fellow Logan lover whom I appreciate. u///u💕💖

Funny thing about my URL: I literally could not believe it wasn’t taken, like w h a t ? ? ? You’re telling nobody here wanted that? Whaaaat?!

[enragedbees]

everything’s fine!

Pairing: moceit

Summary: Patton’s not okay, but he’ll never let Janus know that.

Warnings: panic attack, brief death mention, no happy ending (If I missed anything, please let me know!)

Words: 1273

A/N: me at 11:30pm: “maybe I’ll write a little fic, shouldn’t take me more than 45 minutes.”

me at 2am, half asleep on my computer: “I hate myself.”

please enjoy my rabbit hole of bad decisions, also I have no idea what I’m talking about throughout the whole thing, I’d appreciate it if you could suspend your disbelief for a few minutes, thank you

Taglist: @thenewlarislynn @xionbean @fall-sunflowers @emo-disaster @darkstrange-son @thetomorrowshow

Please let me know what you think! :)

——————————————-

        Patton barely made it into his car before the tears fell.

        He slammed the door shut, sealing himself into the warm, unmoving air, away from the dreary clouds and breezes a bit too cold for the season. He swung his backpack off of his shoulder and threw it into the passenger seat and hid his face in his hands and sobbed.

        It was too much. Patton had been watching it pile up for weeks, doing everything in his power to tackle it bit by bit. One step at a time, as his husband would have advised him.

        He had taken one step, and then another, and then a thousand more steps, all the while watching the finish line being pushed back ten thousand feet. Patton was suffocating, and he couldn’t understand why. He did everything right. He did what he was supposed to do.

        But he was so overwhelmed. And even as he sat in his car crying, he kept thinking of all the time he was wasting that could be used to work. The thought did nothing but make him cry harder.

        Patton had thought some space would be good. Two months would pass, and then things would be better.

        The opportunity he had been waiting for showed up at his doorstep, and Patton had made up his mind before he even brought it up to Janus.

        Patton would leave for eight weeks. They had been apart for longer periods in the past, Janus reminded him when Patton doubted himself. For eight weeks, he would leave his home and his husband and his daughter, and he’d come back and everything would be better.

        He would get promoted. They wouldn’t have to worry about money so much anymore.

        And Patton would have the space he needed.

        The space he thought he needed.

        But sitting in his car, three thousand miles from home, feeling more alone than he had ever felt in his life, Patton couldn’t remember why he thought it was a good idea. Every problem, every fight, every miserable evening spent on opposite sides of the bed seemed so insignificant now.

        So Patton didn’t think his life would turn out to be this way. Who did? No child, no teenager knew what it would be like to be an adult. Patton couldn’t be happy all the time.

        But he still had a good life. He had a husband and a baby he loved more than anything else in the world. Why would he want to give that up, even for only two months? Patton couldn’t even remember why he had been so miserable before leaving.

        And it wasn’t like Janus hadn’t made sacrifices to get them where they were. Without Patton, he could have had an incredible and successful life. They had given up a lot to be together. Janus didn’t deserve Patton’s misery; not when he had given Patton the world at the expense of his own future.

        Patton thought he needed space.

        But now he’d give anything in the world to be back home, in his husband’s arms, on the couch in their tiny one-bedroom, watching one of the movies they owned and had seen a million times, the baby asleep in her cradle in the bedroom. He wanted the simplicity, the mundanity, the boredom of the life he had wanted to escape.

        Patton didn’t want to be alone anymore.

        But it was too late now. He could have backed out before. At three weeks in, he was stuck until the course was over.

        With everything piling up, Patton didn’t know if he could finish. And if he didn’t finish, he’d have to redo the course. Another eight weeks.

        Patton wrapped his arms around himself and cried harder.

        His phone rang from inside his backpack, blaring “Vienna.” Janus’ ringtone.

        Patton’s gaze snapped toward his bag, but he made no move to retrieve his phone.

        He hadn’t been avoiding Janus’s calls. Not really. He just always managed to be too busy to answer when Janus called him.

        Patton sniveled and wiped at his eyes. He couldn’t pick up now. Even if Patton could keep himself from bursting into tears into the phone, Janus would be able to hear that he had been crying. Patton didn’t want to worry him, especially when he couldn’t do anything about it. Janus didn’t need the extra stress.

        Patton sat and stared at his bag until it stopped ringing. His eyes burned, and his breathing got faster, and all of a sudden he was bawling again.

        Patton could barely breathe. It was too much. It was suffocating. It was terrifying.

        Patton couldn’t do this. Patton breathed deep and fast and barely recognized that he was hyperventilating. He couldn’t do this. He shouldn’t have done this. He couldn’t go through with it; he just wasn’t capable. He was so stupid to think he could do this, why did he ever do this, everything was fine why did he have to go and mess it up why why why why why ­­--

        His phone buzzed, and finally, Patton reached over and pulled it out of his bag. It was a text from Janus.

        Why haven’t I been able to get a hold of you lately? I want to hear from you. But it’s not because I miss you or anything. Complete with a winky face.

        Patton’s heart hurt. He read the text over and over again. I miss you. Things would have been alright, if he had just stayed, if he hadn’t tried to fix something that didn’t need fixing.

        Another text came in after a few seconds. But really, call me please.

        Patton turned his phone off and pulled his legs to his chest on the seat. He buried his face in his knees and cried harder.

        Things had needed fixing. They probably did need space.

        But not like this.

        Patton was satisfied with the distance he had gotten from the life he had thought made him so unhappy. He didn’t want to be on the other side of the country from the person he needed most. Patton was ready to go home. And he knew Janus would support him. Janus would help him get home.

        They couldn’t afford that.

        Patton had to stick it out until the end, and Janus would just end up convincing him to come home, that his mental health was more important than his certification. Usually, Patton would agree, but making sure that his family didn’t starve or become homeless was a higher priority.

        Patton still didn’t want to do this anymore.

        He took a few moments to cry. Patton knew he had to respond.

        He pulled out his phone, opened up the keyboard, stared at the screen. Patton so badly wanted to spill everything, to tell Janus how miserable and overwhelmed he was and how wrong he had been about everything.

        Patton’s breathing went faster and heavier, and tears rolled down his cheeks as he tapped the screen.

        Everything’s fine! Can’t talk now, maybe tomorrow, love you :)

        Patton turned off his phone and threw it to the side, aiming for the passenger seat but not caring enough to look at where it landed. He buried his face in his hands and wept.

        Janus never answered the text. A few hours passed and Patton saw he had read it, but no reply ever came.

        Patton spent most of the evening broken. He didn’t get much done. And he knew that everything he had failed to do would just add to the ever growing pile of frustration and exhaustion that was slowly killing him.

        But Patton just couldn’t force himself to care.

[cryptidwizard]

i cant do proper icons and stuff at the moment but heres some fun tss pride headers for the anniversary!! free to use, lemme know if they need to be resized or if you want a different flag! alternate logo under the cut

[goose-books]

[image description: a cropped image of a forest of dark green pine trees, over which white text reads “THE MORTAL REALM, a WIP re-intro of sorts.” image credit to evgeni evgeniev on unsplash.]

BEWARE THE KINGDOM OF THE DOUBLE-EDGED SWORD.

...aaaaaaand we’re back.

TMR! my beloved! the first WIP i ever posted about on this blog! the one i’ve rather neglected for the past two years! the one that i’m going to fully rewrite this summer! i’ve gotten a decent amount of new followers recently who, i don’t think, know very much about this one, so i thought it was time for a reintro. and what better day than may 17th, this WIP’s very own birthday!

Between the raven and dove kingdoms lie hundreds of miles of thick forest. Many children have wandered in. Only a handful have ever come out. And the forest wants them back.

young adult high fantasy

The One That Would Be Trans Kid Found Family Bonding If The Forest Didn’t Eat People

ft. unkind fae, flower symbolism, complicated family dynamics, and blood magic

starring:

aurum ravenfang, boy king with Trauma TM who discovers he can talk to ghosts

winter auklet, farm girl turned adventurer who discovers her childhood accident had some magical roots [ba-dum-tss]

and viridi doveswing, who came out of the woods with amnesia and a curse that stops him from lying. you know. mostly.

you can find the page here and more links here! but for now, since it’s TMR’s birthday, some fun facts:

- TMR is the oldest active project i have, clocking in at six years old! holy shit.

- when i started working on it, i identified as a cishet girl and all of the characters were white cishet catpeople. now i’m gay and trans and so are they; it’s like the main characters grew up and came out with me :-) they are also not catpeople anymore, though catboy aurum jokes are still encouraged.

- it’s not actually that much transer than my other WIPs, but i still think of it as The Trans Kid One because 1) these characters are so dear to my heart and 2) like i said, they sort of came out with me. shoutout to the character whom i projected all of my own dysphoria upon at thirteen. and then i acknowledged her as nonbinary in-story. and kept calling myself cis. without any second-guessing at all. mamma mia

- because it’s my oldest active WIP, it’s the oldest WIP on this blog, as well! when i first made this blog in 2018 (oh. my god i’m old), i posted exclusively about TMR. while i’ve posted about it less since, my blog is still vaguely themed after it! my mobile header is an image of a forest; my icon is @asimpleram‘s art of viridi’s pet raven, cora; and my blog title, BEWARE, is... well, a reasonable warning about my blog contents, but BEWARE THE KINGDOM OF THE DOUBLE-EDGED SWORD is an important phrase in TMR!

- my more recent project darkling actually started as an unholy quarantine-brain fusion of king lear and a TMR au! it’s hard to tell from looking at either project now, but they still have some similarities; i like to think of darkling as TMR’s jaded older sibling.

- because my earliest recorded TMR notes are from may 17th, 2015, tmr is a taurus.

[hgstuff]

harley quinn headers

like or reblog if u save and pls don't repost without credits ✨

requested by @nicozzor

[riansdrums-blog]

jess bowen icon/header set (:

art used on headers are not mine, credit to those who made them

[vreugd-madelon]

The Savior’s Sister Review

The Savior’s Sister by Jenna Moreci is a 560 page Adult Dark Fantasy book. The second in The Savior’s Series. The first is The Savior’s Champion, which I reviewed as well, click here. I had a lot of trouble getting the book to my home. The original pre-order was cancelled by a dutch retailer, because they couldn’t deliver and thus I got this copy from Amazon.nl. It was eventually delivered 4 days before it was supposed to, making me very happy.

I’ve been very excited for this book, and have been really hyping it up for myself. Since it’s a companion novel it follows the same time frame as the Savior’s Champion, which you should really read before starting this one.

Warning: this book contains graphic violence, sexual situation, physical abuse, adult language and referenced to suicide.

Leila Tus Salvatíraas is the Savior of Thessen and worshiped my all. When she come of age the Sovereign’s Tournament is called into existence for Her to marry a man, but the focus shifts from marriage to murder and the current Sovereign and Leila’s father, Brontes, is plotting her assassination. Is she able to thwart his plan with the help of Her sisters and some unexpected allies?

I rate this book 4/5 stars, because while I did like the book near the end, there are some issues I take with it.

There is a certain weight to the hardcover, which I really like. It makes the book feel grand, hefty and luxurious. I’m scared to actually begin reading the book. I’m scared that it won’t live up to the standard of TSC or that I’ve hyped it up too much for myself. But there is no time like the present, so here we go:

I’m enjoying my time with TSS, but as I’m currently halfway through I’m missing that certain oomph that TCS had. The new pieces of content that we see are very interesting and it’s nice to see what Leila was up to, while Tobias was underground in the labyrinth. The moments they share are obviously the same, because we saw them from Tobias’ POV, but they feel very stale. Some moments feel like they’re only put into this book because Leila and Tobias share the room, but they don’t interact with each other, because Tobias is brooding or whatever. These moments are cut short by Leila just leaving. Example: the feast before the other Royals arrive. Even if she struggled with her own thoughts about being found out that she switched with Cosima, and have her ruminate those thoughts into circles, it would’ve been better. It would make the reader worry with her, for her. It would raise the tension.

Leila is a very upfront and tough lady, not scared to give someone a piece of her mind, which I really like. The moments Leila is actively fighting against her own assassination are very well done. the energy and grit are there. While not as bloody as the labyrinth in TSC, there is still a great deal of graphic violence. The love she feels towards Tobias is also very convincing near the end of the book. Especially when the colors he emits are described as a prism, all of them shown at once, and he feels them for her.

Asher is put into the position of her own personal bodyguard by the Sovereign Brontes. Asher’s refusal to call Leila by her name instead of ‘Her Holiness’ really bothered me, especially after Leila had expressed her preference early on. She has to yell at him, to make the change happen. In my opinion it would’ve been better is he suddenly called her by her name, showing the reader that he listens rather than to tells us. I’m sad that he played such a little role in this book. It would’ve been really fun to see Leila expand her own network through him, and it would’ve been interesting to see how Brontes and her would pick at each other’s network to unravel them. Asher could’ve been a double agent, or a triple.

Hylas is my favorite side character of this story and I’m happy to see that he survived. I just hope that he’ll make it through the 3rd book. He’s my little baby boy and I cherish him deeply.

The end of chapter 16 is one I really liked. I never knew who learned of her true title, and even in this review I won’t spoil who I’m talking about, but I actually shed a tear at the reveal even though he became a pain in the ass. Chapter 29 is my absolute favorite of them all. It has another great side character in it, Talos. It killed a man I absolutely despise, and it gave me a giant shock at the end. It’s too bad that we never see a long lasting effect from that revelation in Leila. The beginning of the next chapter she’s sad because Tobias had yelled at her. It makes it seem that she had no care in the world about the revelation and it’s just unfortunate.

The last point I want to make it about the layout of the book. The lengths of the chapters are fine, not too long or too short. But it’s the chapter header I take issue with. Below I’ve put a picture of the prologue chapter and it doesn’t change throughout the book. If you see anything else than a tramp-stamp tattoo please tell me! In a way it can be seen as an elegant design, but I’ve seen too many tattoo shows and shops.

If you have any questions, send me and ask here on tumblr or tweet me. If there are any books you want to recommend, be sure to let me know!