#turn web to app

[doodlingbot]

What if your MK V model was designed by a bunch of highschoolers?

[AU]

[lotrmusical]

i choose the evening, and your love is given to the morning.

[deanpinterester]

it's so interesting how tumblr decides which posts to recommend to me because they'll be things i have never talked about on here

[babyblue-mind]

quick lil sketch :>

[what-even-is-sleep]

TUMBLR WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS.

COMMUNITIES TAB IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LOWER BAR???!!! 😡😡😡😡😡😡

[cyan-eyed-princet]

It seems like this will also turn off the 'synonyms' option and it may have turned off spell check. Though tbf, my copy has been having problems with spell check for a while, not to mention that they've more recently made spell check/grammar check way worse.

[midnightwind]

need to transpose this off of spoofy so I can get this energy back

[orcelito]

Planning out my outfit for my concert shit. I think I've got good pants for it, maybe got shoes for it. Gonna look for a blouse tomorrow + possibly some new shoes. Bc the maybe-shoes are those shoes I got for the suit that I HATE. They gave me such terrible blisters. And I think the pants I have would look better with some kind of heel. But if I don't find anything good I can just use those flats. And for the blouse, it's gotta be black and long sleeve and also have enough flexibility to not restrict my playing. Flexible Clothes. All the better to play a funky little tune in.

On top of that tho I've got several assignments I gotta do this week. Gotta make a wireframe prototype for my web app for web programming class. Tonight, really. Bc the official thing is due Sunday but I gotta get it reviewed by classmate(s) (and also review someone else's, too), so better to have that done sooner rather than later. There's also a lab for my C programming class due on Friday, which I need to have done before the end of lab so I can get it checked off. Gonna try to get most of it done tomorrow night, if not all of it, so that I can just go into lab and get it checked off and then LEAVE. Bc if I stay the full lab I will have less than an hour b4 I gotta be at the venue for sound check. And I really would prefer to have more time before that. Tbh the lab probably won't take TOO much work, since it's just using recursion to make a lil maze solver thing. Not too many lines of code, since the recursion does a lot of that. The tricky part is actually figuring out the logic for it properly. But I took good notes on it when my professor talked about it in class so MAYBE I didn't attend the last 2 labs and MAYBE I haven't even started the thing. But it's ok. Fuck it we ball. And ON TOP OF THAT... the assignments, the orchestra prep, etc... I also wanna clean my apartment some, probably on Friday morning, bc nonzero chance of visitors after the concert. Not for long if they do come in. But Still.... #Embarrassed. It's not as bad as it was b4 bc thankfully I did manage to do my dishes. But there's still some things I should get cleaned up.

AND THEN...!!!!!!!!!!

Well I mentioned the prototype thing. I gotta review someone else's prototype, and I also need to update my own prototype depending on what people say about mine. Tbh I'm kinda planning on doing a lower-effort version to start with (instead of trying to make it perfect from the start) so that it'll hopefully be easier to adjust the prototype to whatever the advice is & make it seem like an actual improvement. There's also a presentation over this thing, which thankfully I'm presenting on... Wednesday, I think? But I gotta have the slides submitted I Think Sunday night (when the prototype itself is due). So I gotta prep the presentation alongside prepping the prototype. AND I have a lab for this same class due on Sunday too, so I'm a busy bee!!

And ON TOP OF ALL THAT, I have a midterm exam in-class on Wednesday for my C programming class (same day as the web programming presentation, ugh 🙄), a presentation for my quality engineering in IT class on Thursday (over ISO 9001 quality standard), AND a paper for that presentation's content due on..Friday, I think? It's a group presentation/paper, same group I worked with last time, which Thankfully they can pull their own weight. It's just more to do lol.

God. I'm being worked to the bone, actually. Feels like everything is happening all at once. But then I remember that it's midterms time and I have spring break the week after next. And I'm like. OK, that makes sense.

Just gotta survive the next week and a half... lol...

[mauvecardigans]

wish the dark reader extension loaded juuuuuuuuuust a little faster on firefox. not complaining! and it's not like it doesn't load fast! i just. happen to be at a point where the flash of white/light before dark reader adjusts the page is making my headache/dizziness worse

[jateshi]

I swear to fuck-

Tumblr’s Core Product Strategy

Here at Tumblr, we’ve been working hard on reorganizing how we work in a bid to gain more users. A larger user base means a more sustainable company, and means we get to stick around and do this thing with you all a bit longer. What follows is the strategy we're using to accomplish the goal of user growth. The @labs group has published a bit already, but this is bigger. We’re publishing it publicly for the first time, in an effort to work more transparently with all of you in the Tumblr community. This strategy provides guidance amid limited resources, allowing our teams to focus on specific key areas to ensure Tumblr’s future.

The Diagnosis

In order for Tumblr to grow, we need to fix the core experience that makes Tumblr a useful place for users. The underlying problem is that Tumblr is not easy to use. Historically, we have expected users to curate their feeds and lean into curating their experience. But this expectation introduces friction to the user experience and only serves a small portion of our audience. 

Tumblr’s competitive advantage lies in its unique content and vibrant communities. As the forerunner of internet culture, Tumblr encompasses a wide range of interests, such as entertainment, art, gaming, fandom, fashion, and music. People come to Tumblr to immerse themselves in this culture, making it essential for us to ensure a seamless connection between people and content. 

To guarantee Tumblr’s continued success, we’ve got to prioritize fostering that seamless connection between people and content. This involves attracting and retaining new users and creators, nurturing their growth, and encouraging frequent engagement with the platform.

Our Guiding Principles

To enhance Tumblr’s usability, we must address these core guiding principles.

Expand the ways new users can discover and sign up for Tumblr.

Provide high-quality content with every app launch.

Facilitate easier user participation in conversations.

Retain and grow our creator base.

Create patterns that encourage users to keep returning to Tumblr.

Improve the platform’s performance, stability, and quality.

Below is a deep dive into each of these principles.

Principle 1: Expand the ways new users can discover and sign up for Tumblr.

Tumblr has a “top of the funnel” issue in converting non-users into engaged logged-in users. We also have not invested in industry standard SEO practices to ensure a robust top of the funnel. The referral traffic that we do get from external sources is dispersed across different pages with inconsistent user experiences, which results in a missed opportunity to convert these users into regular Tumblr users. For example, users from search engines often land on pages within the blog network and blog view—where there isn’t much of a reason to sign up. 

We need to experiment with logged-out tumblr.com to ensure we are capturing the highest potential conversion rate for visitors into sign-ups and log-ins. We might want to explore showing the potential future user the full breadth of content that Tumblr has to offer on our logged-out pages. We want people to be able to easily understand the potential behind Tumblr without having to navigate multiple tabs and pages to figure it out. Our current logged-out explore page does very little to help users understand “what is Tumblr.” which is a missed opportunity to get people excited about joining the site.

Actions & Next Steps

Improving Tumblr’s search engine optimization (SEO) practices to be in line with industry standards.

Experiment with logged out tumblr.com to achieve the highest conversion rate for sign-ups and log-ins, explore ways for visitors to “get” Tumblr and entice them to sign up.

Principle 2: Provide high-quality content with every app launch.

We need to ensure the highest quality user experience by presenting fresh and relevant content tailored to the user’s diverse interests during each session. If the user has a bad content experience, the fault lies with the product.

The default position should always be that the user does not know how to navigate the application. Additionally, we need to ensure that when people search for content related to their interests, it is easily accessible without any confusing limitations or unexpected roadblocks in their journey.

Being a 15-year-old brand is tough because the brand carries the baggage of a person’s preconceived impressions of Tumblr. On average, a user only sees 25 posts per session, so the first 25 posts have to convey the value of Tumblr: it is a vibrant community with lots of untapped potential. We never want to leave the user believing that Tumblr is a place that is stale and not relevant. 

Actions & Next Steps

Deliver great content each time the app is opened.

Make it easier for users to understand where the vibrant communities on Tumblr are. 

Improve our algorithmic ranking capabilities across all feeds. 

Principle 3: Facilitate easier user participation in conversations.

Part of Tumblr’s charm lies in its capacity to showcase the evolution of conversations and the clever remarks found within reblog chains and replies. Engaging in these discussions should be enjoyable and effortless.

Unfortunately, the current way that conversations work on Tumblr across replies and reblogs is confusing for new users. The limitations around engaging with individual reblogs, replies only applying to the original post, and the inability to easily follow threaded conversations make it difficult for users to join the conversation.

Actions & Next Steps

Address the confusion within replies and reblogs.

Improve the conversational posting features around replies and reblogs. 

Allow engagements on individual replies and reblogs.

Make it easier for users to follow the various conversation paths within a reblog thread. 

Remove clutter in the conversation by collapsing reblog threads. 

Explore the feasibility of removing duplicate reblogs within a user’s Following feed. 

Principle 4: Retain and grow our creator base.

Creators are essential to the Tumblr community. However, we haven’t always had a consistent and coordinated effort around retaining, nurturing, and growing our creator base.  

Being a new creator on Tumblr can be intimidating, with a high likelihood of leaving or disappointment upon sharing creations without receiving engagement or feedback. We need to ensure that we have the expected creator tools and foster the rewarding feedback loops that keep creators around and enable them to thrive.

The lack of feedback stems from the outdated decision to only show content from followed blogs on the main dashboard feed (“Following”), perpetuating a cycle where popular blogs continue to gain more visibility at the expense of helping new creators. To address this, we need to prioritize supporting and nurturing the growth of new creators on the platform.

It is also imperative that creators, like everyone on Tumblr, feel safe and in control of their experience. Whether it be an ask from the community or engagement on a post, being successful on Tumblr should never feel like a punishing experience.

Actions & Next Steps

Get creators’ new content in front of people who are interested in it. 

Improve the feedback loop for creators, incentivizing them to continue posting.

Build mechanisms to protect creators from being spammed by notifications when they go viral.

Expand ways to co-create content, such as by adding the capability to embed Tumblr links in posts.

Principle 5: Create patterns that encourage users to keep returning to Tumblr.

Push notifications and emails are essential tools to increase user engagement, improve user retention, and facilitate content discovery. Our strategy of reaching out to you, the user, should be well-coordinated across product, commercial, and marketing teams.

Our messaging strategy needs to be personalized and adapt to a user’s shifting interests. Our messages should keep users in the know on the latest activity in their community, as well as keeping Tumblr top of mind as the place to go for witty takes and remixes of the latest shows and real-life events.  

Most importantly, our messages should be thoughtful and should never come across as spammy.  

Actions & Next Steps

Conduct an audit of our messaging strategy.

Address the issue of notifications getting too noisy; throttle, collapse or mute notifications where necessary.  

Identify opportunities for personalization within our email messages. 

Test what the right daily push notification limit is. 

Send emails when a user has push notifications switched off.

Principle 6: Performance, stability and quality.

The stability and performance of our mobile apps have declined. There is a large backlog of production issues, with more bugs created than resolved over the last 300 days. If this continues, roughly one new unresolved production issue will be created every two days. Apps and backend systems that work well and don't crash are the foundation of a great Tumblr experience. Improving performance, stability, and quality will help us achieve sustainable operations for Tumblr.

Improve performance and stability: deliver crash-free, responsive, and fast-loading apps on Android, iOS, and web.

Improve quality: deliver the highest quality Tumblr experience to our users. 

Move faster: provide APIs and services to unblock core product initiatives and launch new features coming out of Labs.

Conclusion

Our mission has always been to empower the world’s creators. We are wholly committed to ensuring Tumblr evolves in a way that supports our current users while improving areas that attract new creators, artists, and users. You deserve a digital home that works for you. You deserve the best tools and features to connect with your communities on a platform that prioritizes the easy discoverability of high-quality content. This is an invigorating time for Tumblr, and we couldn’t be more excited about our current strategy.

[tojicide]

the spider’s sense! a spidercaleb series.

♥︎ spider-man!caleb 𝑥 fem!reader

synopsis. ┆ caleb’s life was perfect—until it wasn’t. a radioactive spider bite turned him into linkon’s friendly neighborhood spider-man, the daily bugle started hunting for the man behind the mask, and to top it all off, he was forced to partner up with you—his smart, competitive, and infuriatingly perfect classmate who threatened his spot as number one in the class rankings.

tags/warnings. ┆ college/modern au, academic rivals to lovers, fluff, angst, eventual smut, gran isn’t evil in this LOL, the canon event, college parties, alcohol consumption, cliches, depictions of serious crime, references to the spider-man comics and movies, mdni

a/n. ┆ fanart art is by 长白山小葱头 on weibo. this is my first series on this app to celebrate hitting 1K! if you want to join the taglist, comment on this post or send me an ask. from now on, please make sure your age is on your profile or i won’t add you to the list. if you don’t have it, i won’t remind you to add it.

main masterlist. ┆ moodboard. ┆ talk to me!

chapter one ── pest control.

caleb's worst fear comes true when the two of you are assigned as lab partners, especially after your first experiment together goes horribly wrong in more ways than one. (4.6k)

chapter two ── too easy, this game.

after you’re forced to check up on caleb, you realize that your methods of revenge can be much more interesting than you had originally anticipated. (3.8k)

chapter three ── pepper spray.

caleb tries to adapt to his newfound role as the web-slinging hero of linkon city, and you receive the opportunity of a lifetime. (4.8k)

chapter four ── lab partners.

after a series of unfortunate events, caleb shatters any hope of reconciliation with you. or so it seems. (5.0k)

[expvrgction]

(a little update to keep ya'll up to speed: i'm on a road trip rn to visit relatives w/my family for a public holiday

still no monitor replacement for my pc until i head home and arrange a purchase with one of my younger sisters, so i'll be using this turtle-speed of a 2gb ram phone for a while longer)

[himasgod]

can you maybe do a fic about any of the overblot characters turning to a frog and having to have true loves kiss to get back to normal please and thank you

OVERBLOTS X READER

Where they turn into frogs and you, their true love, have to kiss them.

“Unacceptable! Utterly unacceptable!!”

The tiny red frog paced back and forth across your desk, sputtering in fury, his tiny webbed feet making the smallest pat-pat-pat sounds.

You bit your lip trying not to laugh.

“Riddle, calm down—”

“Do not tell me to calm down! I’ve been turned into a frog! A frog! This is a disgrace to Heartslabyul, a violation of school policy, and I demand a formal apology from that imbecile who—!”

You reached out and gently scooped him up before he worked himself into a meltdown.

“...Put me down.”

“You’re going to pop a vessel, and I’m not dealing with frog Riddle and internal bleeding.”

He huffed, cheeks puffing out — which didn’t help his image.

“Professor Trein said the curse can only be broken by a true love’s kiss.”

Y“You… think I’m your—?”

He flushed from neck to forehead (or whatever frogs have).

“I’m not saying that! But… the spell reacted when you held me. I-it warmed slightly. It must mean something.”

“So�� do you want me to try?”

“Only if you want to. It would be... appreciated.”

You pressed a soft kiss to his head — and the next moment, you were nearly bowled over by a very flustered Riddle, kneeling on the floor.

“I—I’m back?” He patted himself frantically. “My hands—my hair—! Thank the Queen!”

“Nice to see you again, Riddle.”

He glanced at you and cleared his throat.

“Ahem. This… this doesn’t excuse public displays of affection without permission, but… I suppose I’ll allow it. Just this once.”

“So I’m allowed to kiss you now?”

He turned red again.“Y-you already did. Don’t push your luck!”

“I find this form oddly peaceful,” the frog says in that same deep tone.

You look up to the roof of Ramshackle, where Frog Malleus sits like a green gargoyle (LIKE BATMAN BRO)

“You’re… surprisingly calm about this.”

“In my long life, I have transformed into many things—dragon, mist. This is merely a new shape. Though I must admit, the lack of horns is somewhat tragic.”

“Lilia says it can only be undone with a true love’s kiss.”

His bright green eyes meet yours.

“…Then allow me to make a humble request.”

“You want me to—?”

“I would entrust my form, my life, and my curse to you alone.”

Your heart flutters like a hummingbird. You reach up and kiss his head.

When it fades, Malleus stands before you—tall, regal, radiant.

“I knew it,” he says, lips curling into a soft smile. “It was you.”

You glance away, flushed.

“You’re really okay with me being your… uh… ‘true love’?”

He steps closer.

“You already were. Long before this spell.”

You open your closet and find a bright green frog sulking on a pile of hoodies.

“Idia… you’ve been hiding in here for three days.”

A croaky sigh.

“Don’t look at me. I’ve become one of the background mobs. No… worse. I’m the tutorial boss.”

You stifle a laugh.

“Ortho said only true love’s kiss will break the curse.”

“Ugh, man. Cringe. That’s such a normie mechanic. What is this, some knockoff otome game from the App Store?”

“Idia. You’re literally living in my hoodie drawer.”

“If I croak, delete my browser history. But not the bookmarks. Some of them are important.”

“Do you want to be cured or not?”

“…If it has to be anyone, I’m… okay with it being you. But don’t laugh, okay?”

You gently kiss him. Idia is human again — hair ablaze in blue flames, sitting on the floor in your hoodie.

“You… you kissed me. That was, like, a cutscene moment. Did you see that sparkle effect??”

“Maybe we got the good ending.”

“I am going to SUE whoever enchanted that bottle.”

You stare into a porcelain teacup where Frog Azul is sitting, glaring indignantly.

“You turned into a frog in the middle of the Lounge, Azul.”

“In front of customers, no less! Floyd’s been threatening to toss me in the fryer all morning.”

“Jade said the only way to undo it is with—”

“—Do not say it. I already know. And I hate it.”

“But it’s—”

“True love’s kiss, yes, yes. What a cheap fairytale mechanic. There should be an antidote. I should have an antidote. I sell antidotes!”

“So what’s stopping you?”

He goes quiet.

“…You do want it to be me, don’t you?”

He makes a tiny, deflated ribbit.

“You just had to say so.”

You lean down and kiss him gently and a moment later, Azul is back, flustered and drenched.

“Note to self,” he mutters, adjusting his glasses.

“Burn that perfume recipe. And draft a new contract with… specific kissing clauses.”

“So I am your true love?”

He blushes down to his collar.

“well—technically—yes—but let’s keep this strictly off the record!”

“You have got to be kidding me.”

You stared at the small frog sitting on your desk. The frog crossed its little arms (legs?) and let out an exasperated sigh.

“It’s not my fault! Azul's experimental potion exploded, and this is what I get for dodging it too late.”

“You’re a frog, Jamil.”

“Thank you for the observation, my savior,” he deadpanned.

“Now hurry up and kiss me so I can get back to normal before Kalim finds out and tries it himself.”

Your face twisted in horror.

“You want me to kiss a frog?!”

“Do you want me to stay like this and croak around the school forever? Besides, it’s not like you’d be kissing any frog. It’s me. I know it’s not ideal, but you’re my—”

You interrupted, cheeks warm.

“I’m your...?”

He looked away, small arms crossed.

“...My best chance at breaking this curse. Obviously.”

“…You could’ve just said ‘true love’ instead of dancing around it.”

“I’m not dancing around anything. You’re the one making this weird.”

Despite the ridiculousness of the situation, your heart thumped a little harder. You hesitated, leaned down, and—

“Do not tell anyone about this after I turn back,”

You pressed a quick kiss. A second later, a very flustered, very human Jamil stood before you — eyes wide, lips parted, face red.

“I cannot believe that worked,”

He groaned, dragging a hand down his face.

“I’m going to kill Azul…”

You looked at him smirking.

“But hey... true love’s kiss, huh?”

“Don’t make me regret this,” he mumbled—but his eyes lingered on your lips little longer.

You stared down at the most perfect frog you’d ever seen.

Velvety green, regal posture, and an expression of pure judgment in those little violet eyes.

“This is... humiliating,” the frog croaked — and yes, that was Vil Schoenheit’s voice.

You choked back a laugh.

“You actually still sound graceful. Impressive.”

“This is not the time for jokes, sweet potato. I was merely trimming a rose stem when that clumsy oaf Epel tripped into the cauldron. Now look at me. My skin is... green. Green!”

“Well, at least it’s glowing,”

“The only way to undo this is a kiss, and Rook has already tried to volunteer. I had to hop away in terror. You’re my only hope, darling.”

You knelt down beside him.

“So… ‘true love’s kiss’ actually works?”

“Rook thinks the potion was modeled after an old fable. He also said you’re the ‘fairest in Vil’s eyes.’ And honestly? I’m inclined to agree.”

“Wait… are you saying you—?”

“I don’t say anything I don’t mean,” he interrupted.

“Now. Kiss me. Preferably before I croak... in the literal sense.”

Suppressing the heat rushing to your face, you gently leaned in and gave him a quick kiss.

Vil returned — golden-haired, poised, a hand already brushing nonexistent dirt from his shoulder.

“Thank the stars. My complexion is intact.“Though I must admit... for a kiss with a frog, it was surprisingly romantic.”

“You planned this, didn’t you?”

“If I did, would you be mad?”

The frog lay sprawled out in your pencil case. You stared at him, unimpressed.

“You’ve been like this for three days and haven’t moved except to complain.”

Leona lifted a webbed foot.

“I’m royalty. I don’t do peasant things like hopping.”

“You’re literally a frog.”

“Tch. And I’d be a prince again by now if you’d just kiss me already.”

“Excuse me?”

“It’s the whole ‘true love’s kiss’ cliché. Apparently I’m cursed. Just my luck. I’m not letting just anyone smooch me. So c’mon. Be a sport.”

“Why me?”

“Because you’re the only one I’d willingly let get that close. Don’t act surprised.”

You narrowed your eyes. “How do I know this isn’t a trick?”

“Does this look like a prank? Do you think I like being this size? I’m living in a lunchbox, herbivore.”

Despite everything, he looked ridiculously smug for a frog.

You sighed and leaned down. “If this doesn’t work, I’m feeding you to Grim.”

Leona snorted.

“Just kiss me already.”

You kissed him, and your frog vanished — replaced by a lounging Leona, now human.

He grinned lazily.

“Knew you’d go for it.”

“Don’t flatter yourself—!”

He smirked. “Too late. You already kissed me. That makes you my lover now, right?”

You threw a pillow at him.

[hyuny-bunny]

skz + types of p*rn they watch (w/links) pt 1. hyung line

MDNI (+18) content warning: p*rn, nsfw links, mentions of rough sex, use of female anatomy, breeding, spanking, choking, fingering, oral (f receiving) most afab reader terms.

a/n: if the links are not working for you, you may need the app as most are not compatible with a web browser

pt 2. maknae line

chan: he's definitely watching twitter/x porn. as for what side of x he's on all depends on the mood. he definitely seems to stay on a more "vanilla" side. probably has a keen interest on size kink and breeding videos. but what they all have common is riding. it gets him so riled up seeing ones shot in cars because the next time he sees you it's all he thinks about. he'd love nothing more then to have you riding his dick, his hands holding your hips in place, eventually snacking a hand to lightly you choke and bunching your skirt in the other hand while you sloppily bounce on his cock. maybe he's taking you out to a nice dinner & movie but once your back in that car he's practically begging you to sit on his cock.

"baby, i need you so bad. come here, ride me, need to feel this pretty pussy on me."

breeding

riding

minho: there's so many things i could say about him. i don't think he necessarily needs porn to get off or actively looks for it, but i do think he loves being able to send you links that either remind him of the both of yours sexcapades or things he wants to do to you. i feel like he watches a lot of overstimulation, spanking, BREEDING, and just a sprinkle of voyeurism. i think he gets really turned on by the ones of girls in pretty lingerie wearing collars with bells, so every movement makes the bell ring. he almost collapses to his knees when he gets home one day to see you wearing the collar he bought, the one he'd been hiding and waiting for the right moment.

the only thing on your mind is the feeling of your sopping wet cunt being suffocated by minho's cock. he's got a fistful of your hair in hand, pulling you up from your pillow before landing a hard smack on your ass, never letting up on his thrusts.

overstimulation

spanking

changbin: another one in my books that loves size kink porn. not because i think he likes someone smaller, but more so the fact that he likes the feeling of being able to make someone feel so small. in seo changbins biceps, we trust. i think this one in particular will have him pleading with you to let him try it. you might feel reluctant because of any underlying insecurities at the though of feeling like you're "too heavy" (there's so no such thing to him) . it isn't till he's got you lifted up against the wall with no holding you either than his arms & shoulders, his mouth lapping away at your pretty cunt, any worries you ever had dissipated along with your ability to use your words.

"bin-binnie please i-i can't hold on much longer" a string of whines follow suit. he's been at it for a while and you've already had two orgasm but he's relentless. all you can hear are his groans and the squelching sound of his tongue abusing your cunt. he lifts his head up from between your thighs with you hand webbed in his hair, mirroring your worn out lustful look.

size kink

making you feel small

hyunjin: to me, i think hyun goes either of these two ways. he's the most depraved man known to walk this earth that loves it sloppy, messy, wet and downright lustfully filthy. the latter also leads me to believe he's not big on porn, prefers either his imagination or his OWN videos. one he's recorded (with your consent + encouragement) while you've done it together. he needs the passion of either love or the passion of wanting to make the either cum so hard they've gone to heaven (preferably both). if he's watching videos, his favorite ones always have the girl shaking and crying in pleasure by the end. he needs to see the passion, lust to be able to get off. when it's you, it's different, if anything it brings him back to those moments to fully remember the need between the two of you. that being said he's heavy into breeding/cumplay and semi restraining. he loves seeing the hands held behind the back and holding someone in place while they fall apart in his lap + cock.

it was supposed to be a quick kiss, which turned into heavy petting, and now he's brought your leg over his hips. the panties you were wearing discarded somewhere in the room, one arm is wrapped around you holding you tightly to his chest while his other hand is at work. his middle & ring finger are knuckle deep thrusting into you and he's groaning into your neck sucking hickies in all your favorite spots.

semi restraints

playing w you in his lap

[adorkastock]

Do you know AdorkaStock Sketch? It's a totally free, web browser based app that works on desktop and mobile and with it you can rotate random AdorkaStock poses on a timer for sketching and gesture practice. You can change the timer, turn the beep on and off, and sort by some tags. There's also an option to make a free account to collect favorite poses and track your drawing days. Happy drawing!

[seat-safety-switch]

There's a really non-obvious consequence to all those "smart" appliances out there. Your average corporation lasts less than ten years before it's acquired, goes bankrupt, or is no longer doing the thing it first started out doing. However, all those internet-of-things gadgets still need someone to be paying the server bill, otherwise half of the features go "poof."

This is great for me: I get cheap appliances, tools, construction robots, and pseudo-sentient war machines because most of their functionality required a now-nonexistent web service to be working. For instance, this oven I pulled out of a ditch works perfectly fine to cook food, but the "Turkey Mode" that makes an obnoxious gobbling sound on Thanksgiving Day no longer activates on its own.

Not everything is as lucky. Lots of gadgets are just totally useless, so they get turned into other things. A lobotomized robot lawnmower quickly became a regular ol' human-operated lawnmower with the attachment of a Princess Auto two-stroke engine and a very, very long wood pole. And then there's the stuff that just gets plain weird.

A few weeks ago, I got a new microwave from the "gettin' spot." It was due to be recycled, to be turned into some other microwave. I figured it would still work perfectly fine, so I brought it home, plugged it in, and got ready to heat up some Pizza Pockets. Nothing doing: the screen had only one functional "app" remaining.

On its flickering high-dollar OLED screen, I saw the words "death prediction date." And, clicking on it, the microwave began to read out an entirely plausible date and cause for my personal demise. For a couple days after, guests to my house were also amazed by the microwave's chillingly reasonable projection of their inevitable fatal accident or terminal illness.

I'll never know why the Guangzhou Champion Home Appliance Company imbued the microwave with such an eerie memento mori, but I am grateful for it. The whole experience taught me that life is short, far too short to listen to some snarky-ass microwave that won't even cook a Pizza Pocket. If it's so smart, maybe it should have guessed that I was going to drag it behind my truck on the highway until the transformer – with its delicious, copper-rich windings – fell out.