#tw: mentions of abortion

[smutty-books]

I hope you are well, I will ask you something that I would like to read from you ❤️‍🔥

You and Marshall were hanging out for one night stands. Turned into a two-night stand. And you finally found out that you're pregnant. However, Marshall didn't want the child because he didn't think you were in a serious relationship.

You finally broke up with him and one day you heard his new song on TV "River" 💔

Here it is. Hope you like it

Mature themes, TW talk of abortion

Eminem x reader

River

————————————

“ You told me you couldn’t get pregnant, do you remember us having that conversation? Do you remember that???!!!!!”

“ Yeah, well you should have thought about that before sticking your dick in me.” You raised your voice at him, all thoughts of a calm adult conversation out the window at his accusation that you did this on purpose. You looked at Marshall in disbelief, the caring, loving man you’d been sleeping with for the past month now a stranger.

“ We’re not keeping this baby.” He said firmly, commandingly. You looked at him again, incensed at the we.

“ There is no we in this, Marshall, you made that abundantly clear by saying there is no us. This is my body, my decision and I am NOT having an abortion!!!!!” You exclaimed your eyes blazing , your nostrils flared, your cheeks flushed, looking frankly a little frightening and all of a sudden Marshall could see you as a mom, a fierce lioness protecting her cub.

“ No man will come before my children, not even you, Marshall!” You told him coldly, any loving emotion you had for him frozen over. Marshall blinked at the sudden change realizing too late his mistake but he wasn’t going to back down. He tried a different tactic: cajoling

“ This baby is mine, too. No child of mine will be without a father. They will know who their father is!!!!” Your mouth dropped at his gall.

“Are you the one who’s body is going to be changed by sheltering and growing another human life in it?” You demanded of him

“ Well, no” he started , rubbing the back of his neck.

“ No, so that gives you a whole hell of a lot less say in this matter” You told him hotly. He looked up, his blue eyes blazing now. You were in awe how fierce and sexy he looked like that then reminded yourself to focus. He saw it, though, the flash of desire in your eyes, and he felt an answering desire start, felt his cock start to harden at how fierce and Mother Earth and sexy you looked defending your unborn child’s life. He stepped into you and you met him. Your lips crashed together his hands lodged themselves in your locks. You moaned; he licked and bit your lips and used your gasp for plundering your mouth in a punishing kiss. He picked you up easily, your legs wrapping around his waist naturally. Your fingers ran through his short locks and scratched his scalp which made him moan low. He tore his mouth from yours and used his hands under your butt to boost you enough for him to attack your throat. He noted with satisfaction a few bruises were forming in the wake of his mouth on your skin’ Mine,’ he thought fervently to himself not as shocked by the thought or the feeling as he should have been.

He threw you down on the bed and made short work if getting your clothes of till you were left in only your bra and panties. His hands traced their way down your torso, his hand stopping momentarily on your belly where he dipped his head and rained kisses down on your stomach, and you heard him muttering, “ I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, little one, I fucked up.” You felt hot tears splash on your stomach and your desire quickly left you. You cradled his head to you, soothing, stroking your hands through his hair and down his neck. He looked up at you, tears shining in his eyes. “ I’m sorry, y/n, I can’t have a child right now.” You looked into his beloved eyes and made a decision. Your baby would always come first.

“ Then you won’t. It’s probably not even yours. Right before you and I got together my ex husband and I had some farewell sex.” You lied through your teeth, bracing for the explosion. Marshall’s face went red.

“ You slut!!!!!! Get out bitch, trying to pass a kid off as mine that’s your ex husbands. Get out, whore” he spat at you.

You quietly nodded, collected your clothes, dressed in the bathroom, and left but not before a parting shot from Marshall.

“ Paul will be sending you an NDA. If you pulled this I don’t trust you not to go to the tabloids and sell your story to get money, slut. Now get out of my sight” He spat, back turned to you. It hurt to think he thought that lowly of you to believe what you told him but it was for the best. It absolved him of any responsibility and he could go on with his life. You hated him for putting you in this position cause he was to selfish to think about anyone else but himself but it was what it was. You had one parting shot of your own.

“ Go to Hell, Marshall, and take you holier than thou; I’ve never done anything underhanded or wrong complex with you. I fucking hate you. Screw you, drop dead, you selfish motherfuckin prick. All you are thinking about is yourself and that’s what your good at isn’t it? Have a nice life, bitch.” You slammed the door and quickly walked out of the hotel head held high. You got in your car and headed back to your rental, your contract at the hospital was almost up. You had a few more weeks then you’d head to your next assignment. You held your tears in until you got back to your rental then you let them all go. You cried for the love you thought you and Marshall shared, you cried for your baby that would sure as hell never know it’s father or how much of a bastard he was and you cried for your lie that you told him to absolve him to protect him so he could go on living his own life and not worry about another child.

8 years later

You were finishing up dinner with your 7 year old son. He reminded you more and more of Marshall everyday. No one knew Marshall was the father, you kept to the NDA that you had signed in the presence of Paul after having it looked over by your lawyer. Paul had looked at you with sympathy.

“ I know you will, but take care of him, Paul.” you whispered quietly. He nodded “Always do.” You nodded again gave him a smile and departed Shady Records. That was 8 years ago. It was fun explaining the pregnancy to your folks and it killed you to see the disappointment in their eyes but you had chosen your course. You didn’t even try to make anyone think it was your ex-husbands cause that would be dishonest. You also swore off men and relationships. Your child was your priority and that’s the way it would stay.

“Mommy can we go to the park tomorrow?” He asked with his soft sweet voice. His eyes were a piercing blue like his father’s, his hair still a very light blonde. He was an affectionate child and you tried hard to be his mom and his dad but it wasn’t always easy.

“ Sure, sweetheart, I think that sounds fun” You told him. “ Now go get ready for bed, sweetheart.”

There was a knock on your door and you wondered who it could be. You answered the door and saw Porter standing on your porch. He engulfed you in a big bear hug and you savored it.

“ Hey, y/n, where’s my godson!!!!!!!” He looked around for him.

“ Getting ready for bed, he’ll be out in a minute.”

“ So, why are you here, Denaun?” You asked him bluntly. He looked at you with sympathetic eyes.

“ Em’s fixing to release a song that’s about you and him and what happened, well not exactly what happened. in the song you had the abortion which obviously you didn’t but to him, it felt like it cause he lost a child. Essentially.”

“ Denaun, he made it abundantly clear in that hotel room he did not want a child so I gave him his out. But I would NOT abort any child. He made his choice, he has to live with it, just like I had to live with mine. He got to go back to his old life I had to make the sacrifices he wasn’t prepared to make.” You said firmly, tone unyielding.

“ Y/n, you think this didn’t affect him. I had to watch him be a bear for months mixed with sullen periods. He beat himself up over the whole thing. He realizes what you did, how you gave him what he wanted. It stunned him when Paul told him you hadn't taken the stipend laid out in the NDA. He was so angry at first but he realized why you did it, and he respects you for it. He admits he wanted this child. This song is his penance, his atonement.” Denaun explained earnestly.

At his words you softened toward Marshall. You knew his early life without a father, and that was one thing he insisted upon was being there for his daughters, one of the reasons he got sober and stayed that way.

“ Denaun, I forgave Marshall a long time ago for my peace.”

“ Do you think you’d think about letting Marshall be part of Nick’s life? He’s pretty sure he has a child out there because you were adamant that you wouldn’t abort a child and its killing him not to be part of his child’s life.” Denaun broached the subject gingerly, sensing you were more receptive now than before.

“ I’ll think about it. It would be good for Nick to know his father and Marshall is nothing if not a wonderful father. I know he’d do right by Nick, which is what is most important.” you said thoughtfully. “ I’m worried that Nick will see all that Marshall can give him and I won’t measure up.” You confided to him. Denaun looked at you like you were crazy.

“ Are you crazy, that boy adores you, you his momma, no one can replace you. And Marshall won’t take him away, you know that. He’ll co-parent with you. Another thing he's good at.” He told you, his hand on your arm.

“ Uncle Denaun!!!!!!” Your son’s voice exclaimed. He barreled past you to throw himself into his godfather’s arms. Denaun wrapped him up n a big bear hug and swept him off the ground.

“ Hey, little man!!!! How’s my favorite godson???!!!” he exclaimed.

“ Uncke Denaun, mom and me “ mom and I” you corrected” “ sorry, mommy, mommy and I is going to the park tomorrow!” Mommy and I are going” you gently corrected. Your son rolled his eyes in a move so reminiscent of his father that even Denaun was shocked.

“ You are, huh? Well that sounds like it’ll be fun!!!! Can I come too?” Denaun asked innocently and you glared at him, knowing he was up to something.

“ Mommy can Uncle Denaun come with us to the park tomorrow?” your son asks excitedly. You inwardly cursed Denaun for putting you in this position.

“ I think Uncle Denaun has to work tomorrow.” You told Nick, thinking quickly. He just smiled angelically at you.

“ Nah, Em has some family stuff to do tomorrow so he said not to worry about coming in. So I’m free to go to the playground.”

“ Yay!!!” you son exclaimed jumping back into Denaun’s arms. You smiled at the display, so happy your son had someone like Denaun in his life. It made you ponder the idea even more of allowing Marshall into Nick’s life. Marshall would be protective of him and be that male figure like Denaun was, but Marshall could be a disciplinarian as well, which Denaun was the fun uncle who spoiled her son.

“Mommy, can Denaun tuck me in?” Your son’s blue eyes shined hopefully up at you, and you heard Denaun chuckle once again at the similarity to his father.

“ Sure, sweetheart. Give me a kiss hug good night.” You opened your arms and your sweet boy cuddled into you “I love you, mommy, good night”

“ Good night, my love.” You whispered kissing his cheek and his forehead.

He led Denaun down the hall chattering excitedly to him and you finished up the dinner dishes. You were just sitting down to read one of your psychiatric nursing journals when Denaun came back in.

“ That boy is his father all over again but with a sweeter disposition thanks to having a loving doting momma like you.”

“ He’s definitely been a blessing in my life. Cause of him I made it through some times I don’t think I could have on my own.” You confided, looking down, fiddling with the journal you were reading.

“ You don’t give yourself enough credit. You a strong woman.” Denaun reassured you gently. You smiled at him. He produced a CD out of his pocket.

“ Here’s a copy of the new song. Em is going to do a music video as well cause it’s important to him. Em doesn’t know I have this. Usually there is only one copy and that stays with Em but I managed to burn this one cause I felt you needed to hear it early. Just give it a listen. It explains things from Marshall’s point of view.” Denaun handed you the CD and you took it reverently knowing Denaun could get in trouble for doing that.

“ Thank you, sweetheart, and thank you for everything.” You told him reaching over to give him a hug.

“ Hey, you and Em are two of my favorite people. I love the both of you and would do anything for both of you to be happy. And I adore that godson and I want what’s best for him. And that’s to know his dad and his sisters. More people to love and dote on him. The girls will have a field day with a little brother.” Denaun reassured you. You cuddled into him and you watched some TV before Denaun had to leave. He promised to call tomorrow about when you were going to the park. You saw him to the door and made sure he got into his car okay and away before shutting the door and locking up before heading up to bed. You carried the cd with you and got ready for bed. You had a record/cd player in your room. You completed your nightly routine, critically eyeing yourself in the mirror, noting the changes the last 8 years had brought. You made sure your head phones were plugged in then you pushed play.

Marshall’s lyrics took you back to the start of your relationship. It opened your eyes to how he saw things, he thought you were using him to get back at your ex. It also explained why he reacted the way he had about the child; he was in it for fun and was trying to figure out how to break it off. Your mind flashed to meeting him on Tinder. It was supposed to be a one time deal but turned into almost a whole month of trysts. You were new to Detroit and wanted some male companionship. Through your encounters you got to know each other and you thought he was catching feelings, but apparently that was not the case according to the song. You cried at his “ I’m sorry” “ I fucked up” as it took you back to that last night and you swore you could feel his hot tears on your stomach. You finished the song and played it again, catching more bars and lyrics and hearing the anguish and pain in Marshall’s voice. You realized it had been just as hard for him in its own way and this song was seeking atonement and washing away his sins and the guilt and apologizing. You listened to it a few more times and then settled in for bed, resolved that Marshall needed to meet and get to know his son. You texted Denaun

Y:I’m ready.

His response was quick.

D:Tommorow?

Y:Tommorow

D:I’ll set it up with Em. And y/n? I’m proud of you.

Y:Thanks for the push. I needed it. It’s a hell of a song.

D: Goodnight, y/n, sleep tight, see ya tommorow.

[pastafossa]

Im assuming youve seen whats going on with the Supreme Court …. are you okay ? I know this mess is affecting so many people , I just wanted to check in . Sending love !

Thank you so, so much anon for checking in! I've seen it, yeah. I'm in a lot of childfree and chronic illness groups - both categories that rely on access to both BC and abortion - and things are... not going good.

I, personally, am safe, fortunately. I had to fight for it for almost 10 years, but I finally managed to get sterilized a couple years ago. Equally fortunate: the state I literally just moved to a few months ago is expanding access, whereas the state I was formerly in is one bad election away from becoming the deep South. So if my surgery did, in fact, fail, I'll have options. But a lot of my friends are still back there, or in other bad states, and I'm scared as hell for them tbh. I'm scared for my readers. I'm scared of the precedent this sets. I'm also left with this sick feeling of having dodged a bullet, because I was one of the people who would have needed access to BC and/or abortion, since BC can fail.

I have had health problems since I was 11. My medications and pregnancy do not mix, nor do my health issues. Even aside from never having an interest in having kids, it would be very, very bad for me. And I remember the fear I felt as a teenager. What if something terrible happened and I got pregnant? What if I got older and married and my BC failed? It was a game of waiting until I was 18, only to then discover the huge roadblock of doctors who are perfectly happy to stop you from permanently avoiding becoming pregnant. "Come back when you're 45." "Come back when you have three kids!" "But what if your future Mr. Right wants kids?" "This is too extreme, BC and abortion will always be there." "You'll change your mind." I finally found a doctor who'd do what I needed thanks to the Childfree Reddit's list of friendly doctors, and I literally walked out of the office after getting a surgery date, got into my car, and just cried. I felt so much relief because once it was done, I'd be safe. I'd be ok. I wouldn't have to live with this fear hanging over my head. And today I am painfully aware that all these roadblocks still exist for far, far too many people.

I'm tired of being afraid. I'm just really, really tired.So it was nice to have a check-in. <3 Much love back.

If you're looking for doctors friendly to birth control and sterilization, consider the Childfree Subreddit's list of doctors. That's how I found mine. It's not just for the CF folks either. If you don't want more kids, if you only want one kid, if you're having health issues solved by surgery and no one will do it, consider the list. It'll literally be a life saver now.

[javathewildone]

One Day - Heartland AU (Part 36)

Parts: 35 ...37 Trigger Warnings: discussions of rape and abortion

A thump jolted Amy awake. She opened her eyes expecting it to be morning, but the window was dark. The light she initially thought to be the sun was her bedside lamp. It took a second for her to remember she turned it on to read more of “What to Expect…” and must have fallen asleep. Now awake, her bladder was screaming for release so she twisted out of bed to find her book on the floor. Picking it up she straightened the pages and set it back on the nightstand. 

The house was dark and still when she crept out of her room to the bathroom. On her way back down the hall, Amy paused when she remembered the dvd she’d left in the barn. Now would be the perfect time to sneak out to get it. 

Amy swore under her breath when she was met with a locked office door. The barn door was also closed, but thankfully not locked. Giving it a tug, she winced at the squeak of the rollers on the old track. A horse inside nickered a greeting, probably thinking it was feeding time. 

Holding her breath, Amy quickly, yet quietly, felt along the walls for a lightswitch, her fingers brushing over wood and bumping into leather. Her foot connected with an empty pail, sending it scraping across the concrete. She froze, listening for noise in the loft.

Ty jumped awake, sitting bolt upright on the old loft bed, the whole frame creaking. 

Sucking in a breath, Amy was prepared to backpedal out of the barn and return to the house but when she didn’t hear any footsteps of Ty coming to investigate she decided to just keep going. It would take her just a second to eject the disk then duck out the office door so long as she could get there without falling on her face. 

Ty remained still as he listened to the intruder maneuver about the dark space, failing at being quiet if that was their intention. 

Amy. It had to be. What was she doing sneaking around at night again?

The opening and closing of drawers made him remember. Her dvd. The one he took and had sitting on his dresser. Shit. 

It was gone. Amy’s stomach knotted when she ejected the tray from the computer to find it empty. She hoped whoever found it just put it in the case and tucked it away somewhere. Switching on the desk lamp she checked under the files and paperwork. When that came up empty, she started digging into the drawers, her search becoming less careful with each empty hiding spot. 

“Looking for this.”

Amy let out an audible gasp, jerking  around to face Ty in the doorway. Total deja vu.

“We really need to stop meeting like this,” he drawled, but Amy was focused on the slim case he held up between his fingers. Why did he have it? 

“That’s mine.” Yet she made no move to take it back.

“You lied to me last night,” he accused, stepping forward and tossing the disk onto the desk in front of her. “You weren’t checking the weather.”

Amy swallowed, dropping her gaze to the case. “Did you watch it?”

Ty hesitated. Considered lying despite just calling Amy out on hers. “It was still running on the laptop.”

Heat rushed to her face. “You had no right,” she snapped, snatching up the disk and holding it protectively against her chest. 

“Why didn’ you just tell me you were watching your sonogram footage?” 

Anger flared in her chest. “Because it was private and I don’t need to tell you anything.” 

Ty lifted his hands in a placating gesture. “Like I said, it was still running. I had to open it to properly shut it down.”

“Bullshit,” Amy hissed. “Then why did you take it?” When Ty didn’t have an answer for that accusation, Amy straightened into a defensive posture. “You waited for me to leave and went searching for proof that I lied.”

She wasn’t wrong. But the intention wasn’t malicious. 

“If you’d told me the truth I wouldn’t have had to find it on my own,” he argued calmly, trying to keep his annoyance in check.

Amy bristled. “You know why I didn’t tell you the truth? Because I don’t trust you. Dancing with you tonight only reminded me of that.” Storming around the desk, she flipped the lock on the office door and shoved it open then slammed it behind her.

Ty flinched at the bang.  Amy might as well have slapped him from the way her words stung. Though he wasn’t surprised to hear them, he was surprised by how they actually affected him. Amy hadn’t yet been able to trust anyone since she arrived except maybe Soraya and possibly Jack. Ty knew he did absolutely everything to destroy all chance of that. Gritting his teeth, he rushed out of the barn after her. 

“Amy, wait.”

“God, can you just stop following me,” Amy growled around a clenched jaw.

Ty sped up. “Not until you talk to me.”

“I have nothing to say to you,” she yelled back. She didn’t realize how close Ty had gotten until he stepped in her path and she plowed right into his chest. Immediately her arms came between them to shove him away even though he lifted his hands out of the way to avoid touching her at all. 

In the house, Jack woke to the commotion outside. His motion to sit up stirred Lisa. “What is it?” 

“Don’t know,” he mumbled, swinging out of bed and reaching for his twelve gauge that he kept next to it. “Stay here.”

Lisa was wide awake at the sight of the gun. “Jack,” she whisper-hissed, her fingers brushing over the back of his shirt that she reached to grab too late. She scrambled out of bed after him, catching up as he was peering through the kitchen window. “What’s going on?”

He narrowed his sight to see into the dark. “Amy and Ty.”

Lisa’s eyes widened. “What?” She quickly moved to the window.

“Then just listen.” Ty didn’t yield his place in her path when Amy shoved him, just backed up a few steps. “I’m sorry, okay? I shouldn’t have snooped.”

“Fine.” Amy muttered, skirting around him and heading for the porch. 

“It’s okay to be scared,” he called.

Amy stalled at the top of the stairs, her breath hitching in her chest. Lisa and Jack both leaned down, watching the tense exchange curiously. 

Ty moved closer until he was at the bottom of the steps. She waited for him to say more while he waited for her to take a running leap inside. For a full minute they remained at an impasse before Ty broke the silence. “Listen, I get it. Life threw you a curveball you weren’t at all prepared to deal with. Talking about it means facing it and when you aren’t ready to face it it becomes this… demon that haunts you. Torments you.” 

Twisting around, Amy scowled down at him. Was he calling her baby a demon? She pressed her lips together to keep from retorting, waiting to see if he had a point. 

“A while back I got involved with some bad people who convinced me to do some things for them. Illegal things. I got caught and spent five years in prison,” he continued, surprising Amy with his spontaneous confession. She didn’t expect to ever hear the details of Ty’s story. At least not directly from him. “When I got out last year I just wanted to find my way back to normal. I was a disaster for so long I burned all my bridges and then refused to face the reality I created for myself.” Seeing he had Amy’s attention Ty paused to take in a deep breath. “It took me almost losing my grandad to shake some sense into me.”

Lisa reached out to grip Jack’s arm, recalling his heart attack and then the harrowing months of recovery after. A time they’d all rather forget.

 Amy’s face softened. “Why are you telling me this?”

“You’re not as alone here as you seem to think.” His shoulders rose in a nonchalant shrug before he turned to head back to the loft to sleep for a few more hours.

She didn’t know why, but watching Ty turn tail to the barn struck a nerve. “Says the guy who chooses to sleep in the barn rather than under the same roof as me.” 

It was Ty’s turn to stop mid stride. 

Amy leaned against the rail, gripping the wood tightly as she stared at his back. “Does it really bother you so much that I’m here?” 

Ty sighed, knowing the short answer was not going to be received well. “Yes.” He turned around in time to see Amy  press her lips in a thin line. Her jaw worked and she nodded, needing no further explanation. But Ty went on to give the long answer when she went for the door.

“It’s not… you. It’s the whole situation.” he blurted before she could slam his own front door in his face. When she turned to face him again  he was back at the bottom of the steps.

“The. Situation.” Amy repeated, unsure of what that even meant. Was he talking about her pregnancy? Her father certainly liked to use that term when referring to it. Like it was something in need of handling. She looked down her nose at him, waiting.

“You coming here with this whole secret past none of us know about.” 

“So it is me.” Amy shot back, cutting him off.

“No.” Ty ran an exasperated hand through his hair. How could he tell her he knew what happened without upsetting her? The answer was he couldn’t. At any rate, he didn’t know it for 100 percent certain. He had a theory that was supported by strong evidence. “I just think if we knew all the facts we’d be able to better help you.”

“You don’t seem to have any interest in helping me.” Amy folded her arms across her chest, hearing the lack of conviction in her own voice. Despite their bumpy start, the last couple days felt like things were maybe starting to smooth over. 

That wasn’t true, but he could see how Amy would believe that. “Because you act like you don’t want to be helped. You’re clutching so desperately to your secrets like it’s you versus the world when it doesn’t have to be. But if we don’t know the whole story, we can’t protect you.” Ty took a step up, forcing Amy to step back. He retreated back to the ground.

Her arms tightened to her body and the hardness eased from her face to be replaced with weariness. “Why would you need to protect me?”

Ty hesitated while he weighed the heavy pros and cons of the can of worms he was about to open. In the end, he decided what did it matter if she already detested him anyway. “Who’s the father, Amy?”

Amy’s spine went rigid. “Just some guy,” she repeated her go-to brush off answer. Everyone assumed it was a one night stand gone wrong. She was fine with that. At least until people then believed her to be a loose woman. She wasn’t fine with that. Because then people seemed to think it gave them permission to proposition her.

“What’s his name?” Ty pushed, knowing he was trying his luck and uncomfortably close to repeating what happened in the barn last week. But he didn’t advance from his place at the bottom of the steps. If she wanted to run, the path was clear.

“It’s none of your business,” Amy replied curtly. The same answer she gave him countless times since her arrival.

“Maybe not. But it is his. And theirs.” He nodded toward her belly. “What are you going to say when they start asking questions about their father?”

“Again, not your business.” Amy didn’t say she hoped the father never found out. Ever. She didn’t want to see his face. She didn’t want to know. Her child, well, that could very likely be a problem for someone else. 

“We need to get off this carousel sometime, Amy,” he sighed.

She frowned. “What?”

“Round and round we go with this same conversation until you storm off to sulk and I get read the riot act. Aren’t you tired? Cause I’m exhausted and it’s only been a week.”

Amy was tired. Exhausted, like Ty, perhaps moreso. Physically. Emotionally. The nightmares. The inmates. The prying questions. The uncertainty of her future. The constant fear of the truth outing her shame. Not to mention the unknown location of the man who was responsible for all of it. Knowing nothing of him was both a blessing and a curse. 

“You won’t break me,” she answered, determination hardening her quiet tone. 

Ty’s voice was gentle. “I doubt there’s anything left to break.” 

Amy’s stomach clenched. She blinked rapidly to stay the sudden threat of tears and looked away from him. It scared her that he was able to figure her out so easily. She didn’t know what he discovered or assumed of her, but he managed to chisel away at the truth in spite of her best efforts to deter him. She was broken. Broken and barely hanging onto the few pieces of herself that remained.

“You’ve managed to find a few things,” she muttered, staring out toward the neglected garden. 

“Well, that me didn’t understand the type of broken you are.” The kind that needed gentle guidance rather than a harsh reality check.

Her gaze shifted from the garden to Ty who was looking at her with an expression that seemed foreign on his face. A gentleness she was unfamiliar with. “And what type of broken is that?”  

“You’ve lost your trust in people. They hurt you. Abandoned you.” He paused. “Tormented you.” Slowly, Ty took the step again and remained when Amy didn’t back away. “You’re not unlike the horses we work with here.”

Amy scoffed and looked away. 

“I’m not trying to insult you,” Ty went on. “I’m just explaining how I came to understand you. How I came to understand why Jack brought you here.”

“And yet you say I don’t belong.”

Ty sucked in a breath. “It’s the inmates that worry me. I never thought it was a good idea to have someone like you here with them. After the episode with Hank, I thought you’d feel the same.”

Amy shuddered at the memory of being cornered by Hank. The intense way he looked at her like he could see the truth written on her forehead. “He does make me uncomfortable.” And yet the things he said had her desperate to find out more of what he knew.

“I know. Because he knew you.” Ty lifted a hand when Amy’s head shot up. “Not like that.” Except it was like that but that was the last thing Amy needed to hear right then. “I mean he saw you. Your pain. He knew what broke you because he’s seen it before.”

I already know your story. Amy’s heart thumped fast and heavy, visible by the deep rise and fall of her chest. Then why had he acted as he had? To get it out of her? Or because he knew she was already damaged so maybe she wouldn’t put up much of a fight.

Ty could see the fright ignite in her eyes. She looked like a deer about to bound off into the forest to get away from danger. But he came this far. “Hank is serving a life sentence for murder. The man he killed… the man he killed raped three people.” People. Kids. Ty spared her the horrific details.

Amy jerked back, her breaths coming faster and louder. “No.” She shook her head, tears blurring her vision. She was shaking. The floodgates on her memories burst open and the whole horrifying night rushed forth.

“That’s what happened, isn’t it? You were raped.” The word cut through the air like a knife. It might as well have been.

Ty’s voice echoed in her head, overlapping with another voice. A deeper, more sinister baritone. Amy’s hands flew to clamp hard over her ears, wanting to shut them all up. “Stop!”

Whether she was yelling at Ty or the memories pounding through her was impossible to tell. Ty felt a sharp jab in his chest at the sight of Amy crumbling to the floor. Of her walls she so painstakingly guarded being reduced to rubble as the truth blew through them. 

“Amy.” He spoke her name gently, climbing the next step to reach for her. 

Lisa moved for the door but Jack grabbed her wrist, giving his head a silent shake. She looked at him with a pained expression that Jack almost couldn’t stand to see. He wanted to rush out onto the porch along with her but knew this was a moment Amy and Ty needed to get through. After all of the turmoil and fighting between them, each misinterpreting and misunderstanding the other, now was their chance to clear the air. Interrupting might cause Amy to balk and close up again. Lisa seemed to be able to read it all on Jack’s face and shifted back to lean against him at the window. 

“Don’t!” Amy gasped, seeing the motion and moving away from it. “Please, don’t. I-I can’t.” She couldn’t bear it. Not just the touch, but the pity, the heartbroken look on Ty’s face. 

Ty stopped, his hand fisting and flexing at his sides as he fought the urge to ignore her plea anyway. Instead, he slowly turned to sit on the step below where she collapsed, outside of the invisible fence she erected around herself. “You don’t know who it was?” 

Her head shook in response while she took breaths to calm herself down. “I didn’t see his face. I didn’t… I didn’t even tell anyone.” A sob broke out and she lowered her head into her hands, covering her face and wishing she could get away from the place Ty took her to with his questions. Yet she answered them because there was a part of her that knew she needed to. She needed to tell someone the truth. The whole truth. Hiding behind her trauma did nothing but isolate her and make her an easy target. 

“Until you realized you were pregnant.” He guessed, wanting to get the whole story. He didn’t know if now was the right time for it, but even getting it in pieces was better than remaining ignorant to Amy’s suffering.

She nodded, sniffing and wiping at her nose. Ty remained quiet while she gathered herself. Brushing away her tears didn’t do much but make room for more of them. 

“My dad he…” Clearing her throat, Amy inhaled a deep breath. “He was acting… strange. He’s always been on edge because of the drugs and unsolicited visits from his dealers and bookies but it was worse right before it happened. And after…” Her voice faltered. “He kept watching me. Like he was looking for the signs, waiting for me to break. He knew what happened even without me saying it and I think he knows who did it. But I was too scared to ask. I didn’t want to know. I don’t want to know. It was easier, safer, to pretend it just didn’t happen.” 

Her face crumpled again and Ty fought to keep his hands firmly to himself. He didn’t know much about Tim Fleming except what Jack told him, but he spent enough of his own time in that world to know how retaliatory tactics worked. If Tim owed his dealers money and didn’t square up, they would have gone after his family to make him pay. They would have gone after Amy. Rape, brutal as it was on its own, was not the worst they could have done. She could have been taken and tortured, maimed in some irreversible way. Or killed. 

“Then I started to sense my body changing. I missed a period, then two. I tried to ignore it. Willed fate to intervene. Eventually, I bought a test because I needed to know. When the result was positive I…” The air shuddered out of her lungs. “I shut down. Refused to acknowledge it. My dad went ahead and made an appointment for me at a clinic. All I wanted was for it to go away so I was… relieved that he made the choice for me.” Tears fell from her eyes onto the step and she began to slowly rock back and forth to comfort herself. “I didn’t want to have to live with that night for the rest of my life. To look at my body, or God forbid a baby, and be reminded of the horrible thing that happened to me.”

Ty didn’t dare interrupt Amy’s story. She was finally sharing the dark truth of what happened to her and he doubted she’d be willing to do it again. When she paused to catch her breath, wiping at the stream of tears rolling down her face, Ty glanced toward the kitchen window where he saw Lisa and Jack hovering at the sink. The window was still cracked open from Amy’s earlier cleaning spree, allowing them to hear everything. He didn’t know how long they’d been there. Judging by the way Lisa’s hand was pressed to her mouth and her eyes welled with tears, long enough. He didn’t bring Amy’s attention to them. Frankly, he was surprised either one of them managed to remain inside. From the way Jack’s hands gripped Lisa’s shoulders, he was probably holding her in place. Anchoring himself to her. Ty looked away from them when Amy lifted her head again to take a sniffling breath. 

“Obviously I didn’t go through with the abortion,” she continued quietly, her voice a rasp. She cleared her throat. “Guilt set in at the eleventh hour. The nurse called my name and I couldn’t move.” She remembered the waves of nausea bringing awareness to the life inside of her. Images of a tiny beating heart, little fingers and toes. She’d bolted from the clinic and never went back. 

“My father was upset,” she went on. “Not… angry, but scared. Frantic. He didn’t understand why I wouldn’t terminate. We fought. Said nasty, hurtful things to each other.” Amy’s lip trembled remembering their fights, especially the one when he told her he was sending her away. To Heartland. 

“Why Heartland?” Ty said finally, his first words in quite some time. His voice was gentle but tight with restrained emotion. 

Amy’s shoulders lifted in a slow shrug. “I don’t know. I think it was a last resort. He kept saying it was for the best. That I’d be safe here.”

Ty bit his lip, knowing he’d asked the question before and gotten nowhere. “Safe from what?” 

Amy blinked, her eyes red and glistening with tears. She leaned forward to rest her forearms on her knees, her blonde hair falling in a curtain in front of her face. She went quiet, continuing to rock. This time Ty didn’t press for an answer, merely waited her out. When she didn’t tense up, snap at him, or storm off, he knew the walls were coming down. 

“A week or so before…” her breath hitched and she trailed off, but Ty could fill in the unspoken words. “I came home from class to two men in our apartment. One had my father up against the wall with a gun to his head while the other trashed the place looking for something. It wasn’t the first time someone paid a visit looking for money he owed them.” 

Amy was talking so slowly, so carefully choosing her words as if testing her pain threshold before continuing onto the next piece of the story. Ty never focused so intently on anything in his life, hanging on her every word. 

“When they saw me, they grabbed me.” 

Everyone stopped breathing. Not a peep was made. Lisa’s free hand flew up to clutch Jack’s on her shoulder.

“I-I’d been threatened before. Propositioned. But never touched. They would always come to rough up my father, make their point and maybe leave with some of what he owed. But they always left me alone. I wasn’t responsible for his debts.” She whispered the last sentence in a way that felt like it was a mantra she used. That Tim’s choices were his own and she was merely innocent in the line of fire.

Amy’s eyes closed as her breathing turned ragged. She could feel the pain of the fist in her hair, the sharp sting of a knife at her throat. Her hand went to her neck, rubbing it to ease away the memory. 

“Pretty little thing you have here, Tim.” Amy shied away when the man holding her leaned to brush his mouth along her cheek. He nicked her neck with the blade jerking her into his hard chest. 

“Please, “ Tim croaked from across the room. “I’ll have what I owe you tomorrow. All of it. Just leave my daughter be.”

The gunman stepped away, lifting his finger from the trigger and tapping it against his temple in thought. “I’ll tell you what, Tim. I’ll cut you a break.” He used the weapon to point at Tim. “I’ll take half of what you owe.” He swung the gun to Amy, who froze at the sight of the barrel. “The rest can be repaid by another means.” 

His wicked grin made Amy feel sick. What was worse was the way Tim went quiet as if he were actually considering the deal. “Dad!” She exclaimed, horrified by the possibility of her own father trading her to save himself. 

Her shout snapped him out of it and he shook his head. “You’ll get your money.”

“Pity.” Knife’s breath was hot against her ear, sending a cold shiver down her spine. “We could have had some fun with this one.” 

“Let her go,” Gun growled.

Knife’s jaw tightened at the command, but he lowered the blade from Amy’s throat and released his death grip. She backed away, making sure to keep him within her sight. “How much does he owe?” 

“Fifteen,” Gun answered.

“Hundred?” She had almost half that in her bag, maybe if she gave it to them now they’d give them some time to come up with the rest.

“Thousand,” Knife corrected, the corner of his mouth lifting in a malicious smirk like he already knew there was no way Tim could pay.

The color drained from Amy’s face. Her eyes darted to her father who looked terrified and ashamed, as he very well should. “What did you do?” She whispered through a hiss of air. 

“Lost on a sure thing.” Gun mocked him. Tim swallowed, his gaze drifting to a far corner of the room. 

Gambling. On what, it didn’t matter. Tim would gamble on the weather. “You promised me you would stop this!” Amy yelled, her hands balling into tight fists. She knew better. But every time still held onto hope that this time her dad would put in the effort. She needed to stop giving him so much credit, then she couldn’t be disappointed when he neglected to follow through. 

“As much as I enjoy family drama, I have other business,” Gun said, tucking the weapon back in its holster beneath his jacket. “Twenty-four hours, Tim.” He glanced at the clock. “7:42 tomorrow evening. 15 grand, or seven and the girl.” 

Amy’s heart lurched in her chest. Seven thousand dollars was even too much for them. She doubted they had anything worth anywhere close to that. 

Knife was leering at her as they headed for the door. Amy shuffled backward to avoid their path but he snatched her arm on his way past pulling her against him. “See you tomorrow, sweetheart.” She refused to look at him, to acknowledge his threat. He let go and she jerked away. Neither of them moved until the door was shut then Amy ran to lock it. 

“How did you get the money?” Ty asked, knowing she wasn’t attacked until a week later, so they must have come up with the cash. 

In telling the story, Amy fell into a sort of trance reliving the night. Her tears stopped and her voice took on a monotone. Ty’s voice cut through the memory. She sat back on the step, pressing her hands between her knees. “Lou.”

“Your sister?”

Amy nodded. “She’s an investment banker in New York. Ironic, eh?” She snorted. “She was helping me pay for school. I told her I wanted to take a summer session so I could graduate sooner and the deadline to enroll in classes was closing.” Lying to Lou had been difficult. She was paying for her college to ensure Amy had a chance at a better, more stable future. “If I said the money was for our father’s debts, she never would have sent it. And then I don’t know what would have happened.” Maybe the same thing that did. Maybe they’d just kill her father. Regardless, the outcome wouldn’t have been any better.

Ty mulled over the details of Amy’s story. The two men, their threats. “Those men. The one that grabbed you.” Ty’s words were calm, quiet as if speaking to a frightened horse. “Could it have been him who hurt you?”

Amy’s chest tightened. “I told you, I didn’t see his face.” 

Ty hesitated, leaning back against the rail. The calm that came over Amy was slipping away again the closer they got to digging into the details of her assault. The time surrounding it seemed to be a safer place, but the event itself was still understandably raw. He was torn between pushing and letting it go since Amy didn’t quite answer his question about what her father was trying to protect her from. If he had to guess he’d say it was the two men who threatened her. If she didn’t see her attacker’s face, that meant he intentionally kept it covered so she couldn’t identify him. Which meant she had  to have seen it before. A week prior. 

“But you do know, don’t you?” Ty pressed, realization dawning. “You heard his voice.”

[horniboihozier]

swan upon leda

trigger warning: mentions of death, abortion, loss of autonomy

"To enact at last the perfect plan

One more sweet boy to be butchered by men

But the gateway to the world

Was still outside the reach of him

Would never belong to angels

Had never belonged to men

The swan upon Leda

Empire upon Jerusalem"

now this could indicate a bunch of things. (i don't want to go into what it means, this is purely what i think about it.) okay, so i think it's perhaps like the boy will be butchered as soon as he steps into the world of men, which is, the world, in general. so basically, he is fucked as soon as he is born i guess.

and the gateway to the world seems indicative of the process of birth. so it is something that is monitored by the woman - it is the question of her bodily autonomy. her body is not to be dictated by angels (religion) or men (other people, but mainly men in power).

another thing that i found v interesting is the imagery of death that has been associated with abortion, but in such a different way from the traditional, conservative narrative. idk about other places but at least here in india (at least in marathi, which is my mother tongue), one of the statements generally made when someone passes away or passes away early is that: “it was their time” or “it was their destiny, what can be done?” and i see that reflected in the lines “But the gateway to the world // Was still outside the reach of him.” it is more of a statement that it was the child’s destiny to not be born instead of the usual nonsensical conservative retort of calling the women murderers and killers and whatnot. it’s such a brilliant conflation of the concept of destiny as it is associated with birth and death. like if death is a person’s destiny, then so is their birth. some people are destined not to be born.

also the Empire upon Jerusalem bit i find rather intriguing. initially i was wondering what mythical connotation could this point to, bc you know, Jerusalem. but i googled empire upon jerusalem and one of the first lines on the wikipedia page is that Jerusalem has been attacked 52 times. so here instead of having any specific symbolism from the christian mythology, it seems like a symbol of holiness or perceived sanctity, and of autonomy and the continual loss of autonomy at the behest of the Empire(s). 

i honestly have no idea whether im making any sense at this point but yeah

[rinhaler]

You Deserve Roses and You Know This

✧˖*°࿐ : 18+ only, no minors.    ✧. ┊ ex!Toji Fushiguro x f!reader

Genre: Smut & Angst Notes: reposting from my old account! Warnings: 18+, dubcon, vaginal sex, fingering, oral (f receiving), nipple play, dacryphilia, pregnancy, abortion ideation, miscarriage, depression, adultery, breeding, creampie ♡, smoking mention. Words: 4.1k

“Is it true? Did talking to Megumi make you cry today?” Toji asks you, peeling down your bra strap before sensually decorating your exposed shoulder in delicate kisses.

He didn’t notice, but as soon as the question left his tongue you had instinctively become dead behind the eyes. It was true. You’re an adult, and yet you were brought to tears by his seven-year-old son. It wasn’t that he said anything callous, quite the opposite, really. Earlier that day, Megumi had been sitting playing in your front room. You were babysitting, as you often did, while Toji and his wife were working. Your eyes hold shut as you remember his wife; his beautiful and kind wife while he continues littering your skin in adoration. You shouldn’t be doing this, but you can’t stop now.

Green sparkling eyes looked up from innocent children’s toys to pose you a question – “Why do you hate me?” he asked, genuinely. It was like a knife through your chest. You didn’t hate him. You could never hate him, Toji being partly responsible for his existence is enough reason to adore him with everything you have.

You just wish he was yours.

Toji is patient when he gets his time with you. It’s rare, after all, and he wants to make the most of it. Two large palms settle on your breasts, the straps are down but your bra is still firmly in place. He massages your flesh over the material, lips traversing the expanse of your body until he reaches your pulse point. He licks, slowly, hot eager breath contrasting your own temperature and making you shudder. This, he notices, pulling your back even closer into his chest. His left hand slowly yet forcefully moves up and down your adjacent arm, desperate to dispel the goosebumps that have formed on your skin. He suckles and licks on your ear lobe before nibbling it softly between his teeth. His breathing changes, his mouth level with your ear, he’s going to speak.

“Baby… what were you talking about?” he sighs, an even more chill inducing breath warms the shell of your ear. He pecks against it, the sound of tactile lips puckering slithers directly through your ear canal. You moan, unintentionally, and back further into your temporary lover. He holds your breasts once more; stabilising you, if only a little, as you begin to grind your core against his crotch.

“I- I can’t, Toji—”

Your attention is fixated on him as his hand encases half of your face and turns you to face him. But you both find yourselves closing your eyes as he places a kiss against your lips. It’s slow, yet heated, and you feel him smile into you when he hears you moan into his mouth pathetically. You’re well and truly at his mercy, though you aren’t embarrassed. How else should one act and behave around the love of their life?

“You can and you will,” he explains, biting your lip as he parts from the kiss. A singular string of saliva keeps you connected for a second before snapping. “you can’t have secrets with my son darlin’, you just can’t. So tell me, what were you talkin’ to him about?”

You gulp, nerves overcoming you like never before. Your eyes flutter shut yet again as he diverts his attention from your eyes to your body. The skin behind your ear is the next subject of his eroticism. And yet, he has the gall to chastise you for enjoying it. With one more repetition of tell me you realise you can’t stall anymore. Out of options. And you can’t lie.

“R-Rocco, ah—!”

“How does Megumi know about Rocco?”

“I- I told… him…”

He hikes your leg up so that you’re sitting on his lap like a little girl. The kissing has stopped and the touches have halted. Toji isn’t patient except with you. He’s never looked as furious as he does now, with you. Brows scrunched and the glimmer in his eye you love so much has ceased to exist. His scar looks as raw as it did the day he got it. A non-existent armour made you believe he wouldn’t mind you talking to his son about such a sensitive subject matter, but apparently it is not to be discussed under any terms.

“Don’t you ever talk to my son about Rocco again. D’ya hear me? Never.” he forbids, his eyes seem to soften ever so slightly when he spots that you can’t prevent the way your lip begins to wobble. “If you really wanna talk about Rocco, talk to me. Yeah? No one else, just me.”

“Y-You don’t let me—” you start, your thought isn’t completed. Thoughts are rattled from your mind as he begins manoeuvring you so that your back is flat against the mattress, jade green eyes boring into your very soul as he hovers above you. His arms dip behind your back, finally unhooking your bra and baring your chest to him.

Beautiful, he thinks.

“I’m letting you now.” he explains, his head resting on your chest, looking up with intent behind his salacious stare. He latches onto one of your protruding nipples, taking it between his cracked lips. He sucks and pecks, and it’s almost lazy, but you know it’s with purpose. It’s driving you wild, you can’t help but wriggle helplessly beneath him, desperate to gain some relief on your eager heat.

He pins one of your legs down, stopping you from continuing your movements. It’s torture, you think, he’s expecting you to broach such a heavy subject matter while you’re so desperate for his touch.

“C’mon sweetheart… talk about Rocco,” he commands. You can’t. Tears stream down your face as you do your best to experience Toji whilst thinking back to the past. Your mind spins and you feel as if you can’t breathe. He releases your nipple with an accentuated pop as he smirks up at you. “I remember how scared you were to tell me… when you realised—”

“Fuck, Toji.” you croon, a mischievous finger slithered down your abdomen down the length of your clothed slit. Feather light touches against your clit and your entrance forced your hips to buck upwards carelessly. He snickered, repeating the action again and again. “I- I remember.” you stutter.

You’d only been dating for thirteen weeks. He was yours before his wife entered the fray, before you had to battle for his time and attention. Nerves got the better of you, the thought of admitting to yourself what you already knew made you nauseous beyond any description.

Your period was late.

It was something you didn’t want to acknowledge, let alone inform Toji of. It had been so little time since you began dating. You thought he’d leave you, run away and never look back. So, there was only one thing for it. An abortion. You couldn’t keep the baby if you wanted to keep him. It was your only option. You were stressed, manic, exhausted. But at least you’d have Toji – that was all you cared about.

“You were so scared to tell me, weren’t ya?” he asks, hooking a finger beneath your panties before settling it in your inner thigh crease. He plunges a finger inside of you, chuckling when more obscenities fly from your mouth as your head falls backwards into the plush pillows. One of your hand grips the sheets below, whilst your other almost tears his hair from the roots. So little attention, and yet such a big reaction from you. “Thought so little of me, baby, ‘m sorry.” he finishes, adding a second finger to your scorching heat. It's almost as if the air in your lungs has frozen, weighing you down. It’s preventing you from speaking. From breathing. Even thinking.

It was confirmed when you finally took the plunge and decided to do a pregnancy test. Big, black, bold text told you the answer and where your future was heading. Motherhood, for certain. But you knew you had to take care of it before Toji became suspicious. It was something you didn’t even want him to know you were going through. Everything with him was perfect, it wasn’t something you wanted to ruin over something you believed could be easily taken care of.

So… why were you crying every day?

That’s what he asked you. You hadn’t been yourself, and that is what gave you away. Jokes he told that you found funny didn’t seem so funny anymore. The way he traced his fingers up and down your arms made you defensive, and paranoid. You didn’t want him to touch you in case he somehow sensed it in his fingertips. If he felt you he might just know that you’re carrying his child and he’ll skip out on you.

It all came to a head one day after you finished throwing up. You couldn’t keep your cries silent. Your body was betraying you, you felt hurt in ways you never had before and it was becoming impossible to keep it all to yourself. You didn’t dare tell a soul for fear of Toji finding out through the grapevine. But enough was enough, he thought.

“You need to tell me what’s going on with you.” he told you, but you shook your head.

“I can’t Toji, please. Trust me, I can’t.” you explained, “It’s fine… I will ruin everything if I tell you so… so I’m… I’m taking care of it—”

“Cut that shit out right now. This has been going on a fuckin’ while and I can’t stand to see you like this,” he responded, moving his head as you moved yours. You were trying to avoid his piercing glare, but he wouldn’t let you. He couldn’t. He’d never of forgiven himself if you carried on like that, unable to share your woes, and did something you might regret. “Trust me, I’m beggin’ you to trust me, baby.”

He forced you to sit down, and face him. He wiped away your tears with his thumbs and kept all of his attention focused on you as he watched you calm yourself down. Tear filled breaths that clogged your lungs fizzled into shaky exhales the longer you held eye contact with Toji. He wasn’t going anywhere, for now. If you explain you can tell him your plans. Maybe he’d support you if he knew you planned on freeing you both of the burden of parenthood, you hoped.

“I… I’m, uh—”

“Yeah? C’mon sweetheart, doin’ so good f’me just use your words.” he spoke, doing his best to tempt the truth out of you. With one final swallow of terror and closing your eyes for a moment to think, you finally found the courage to confess.

“I’m pregnant,” you blurted out quickly. “but it’s okay I’m gonna get rid of it. Okay?” you fumbled out words quicker than you could think. You just wanted him to know that there was no way you’d be keeping the baby. He was what you needed, not a kid. “Please, I promise I’m going to get rid of it, this is why I didn’t want to tell you. D-Don’t leave me, p-please. You are more important to me than a baby, I just want you. I—”

Your rambling was stifled as Toji pressed a finger to your lips. He kissed you on your forehead, a warm smile filled his features. Instantly, you were relived. It meant that your idea of an abortion was enough to convince him to stand by you. There was no reason to worry yourself sick like that, he was going to support you through it all.

“You don’t have to get rid of our baby,” he smiled.

“W-What?”

“In fact, I don’t want you to do that at all.” he warmly spoke, pulling your body into his and forcing his head between the valley of your breasts. It wasn’t sexual, it was just a comfort to him to hear your heartbeat. “Maybe… we could start our own little family, huh?”

Tears roll down your eyes as you reminisce on it all whilst Toji adds his flat tongue to the equation of his fingers in your cunt. It’s all so romantic and wonderful and intense. You don’t think you’ve ever been happier than you were in that moment. The moment you knew he really would stand by you through anything at all. And despite your assumption, he was excited to become a father. He was excited to have a baby with you.

“I love you, Toji.” you speak, softly, unsure if it was even loud enough for him to hear. Oh, but he did. He doesn’t want to stop lapping at your swollen clit, knowing it’s exactly where you need the most attention right now. But a particularly harsh suckle and pop of the bead is a silent acknowledgement, he promises he heard you. “Gonna… gonna cum. T-Toji—”

“No no, baby, not yet,” he instructs. He removes his fingers from your hole, delicately rubbing them over your sensitive bundle of nerves instead. It’s slow and tormenting, but he doesn’t want you to cum like this. “I was so happy when we found out we were havin’ a little boy, y’know? So damn happy princess.”

You remember it well. Your emotions were running high and you had the ability to blame your hormones when you discovered the gender of your unborn child. But you couldn’t quite believe it when you looked over to see Toji’s eyes, eyes that are normally so strict and stern, glossy with tears on his lash line. He couldn’t help it, he claimed.

“Look what we made.” he pointed, the scan revealing perfectly what a handsome little boy you’d made together.

And later that day, he took you shopping. Money was no object. That is what you both decided. Neither of you could believe how much stuff you ended up buying. Paints for the nursery. A crib. Other necessary pieces of furniture. Toys. Clothes. Everything you thought you needed, you bought. You were both first time parents and completely clueless. So, if a shop assistant recommended it, you bought it.

You spent so much time together painting the walls of your baby’s new room. Toji was very irritable when you kept asking what to do and how to help. The paint wasn't going on as nicely as he hoped and his temper flared, it was extremely evident in his face. What do you do when you see an angry bear? Poke it with a stick. Or in this case, flick paint from the end of your brush at him. When he noticed what you had done and he turned to face you, you swear you could read murder on his mind. But when you began to laugh, he couldn’t help the laugh that snuck out of him.

There was more paint on the two of you than on the walls by the end of it.

“That was the day we decided to call him Rocco…” Toji mused.

He began to kiss up towards your naval and back to your neck. Your fingers laced through his hair as you begged for him to deliver the same salvation he was offering your body to your lips as well. He complied, slow patience had dwindled as your tongues found each other. It was wet, heated, sloppy. You felt yourself drooling out of the corners of your mouth, Toji Fushiguro is just so intoxicating. A drug you can’t quit though you know you should.

He’s all you have.

He doesn’t break the kiss from you, though his hand eventually meets his heavy, wanting cock. He guides it to your desperate entrance, lining it up perfectly before slotting himself inside. His hips roll, bullying his cock into you inch by agonising inch until your lip begins to quiver. He hushes you, though.

You both know you want it.

“I’m s-so – fuck – I’m so sorry, baby. I am so—”

“P-Please, pleaaaase stop.” you beg. He doesn’t. You are the one who wanted to talk about it. So desperate to talk about it that you went to a seven-year-old boy to discuss it. His son. “N-No more, I can’t—”

“It was the worst day of my life, too, I promise you that darlin’.” he mumbles in your ear. The thrum of his words rushes straight to your cunt, and you clench so hard around his cock you think he might have to stay there forever.

You don’t think you’ve ever been as embarrassed as you were when you came home from the hospital. Your pristine white maxi dress, stained in bright red blood by your crotch. The atmosphere in your house was foul. Two solemn adults who had lost everything in a few menial hours. Hollowness filled you, not a single emotion ran through you until you heard Toji a few rooms away. You sat on the sofa, turned on the TV and pretended it wasn’t happening. But you could hear Toji loud and clear.

He was in the nursery.

That was the first and only time you’ve ever heard him cry. A loud thud vibrated through you and you knew he had collapsed to the ground. Melancholy overtook him as his new reality was setting in. Your little boy was no more. No fault of your own, apparently, everyone made sure to repeat that enough times for it to really take root in the depths of your brain.

It didn’t help at all.

You couldn’t bring yourself to check on Toji. That would mean going into Rocco’s room and facing the truth yourself. So, you waited. You waited hours for him to finally come out. He came to see you, resting on the balls of his feet in front of the sofa where you sat. Fresh tears replaced old ones as he noticed the drying blood on your dress.

“H-How about a bath, huh?” he suggested.

You don’t remember saying yes, or nodding. But somehow, you found yourself naked and submerged in a bubble bath. It was like you had left your own body as he did his best to clean you. You could hear him sniffling. He was desperate to talk about it with you, all he wanted was for you to help each other cope. But you couldn’t. So, he did his best to lock it away too.

It was as if you had returned to yourself when Toji took a break from washing your hair to wipe more tears from his eyes. A soft mumbling of ‘Oh, Godddddd…’ trailed from his lips as he tried to pull himself together. And finally, your lip began to jut out helplessly. Your eyes scrunched, and the tears began to flow. You were staring at your bloody dress, and listening to him try and hold it together. It was all equating to too much.

It was real, now.

“Our… baby—” you cut yourself off with a wail, Toji pulled you into his hold and sobbed into your sodden locks.

He hissed with each thrust inside of your gummy walls. A perfect home for him in the form of your bodies fitting together like perfect puzzle pieces. He doesn’t feel like this with his wife, only you. He couldn’t stay away, he’d never be able to do that.

He loves you.

He loves you.

Fuck, he loves you.

“’m not good enough… I’ve never been—”

“Stop it, baby. You are enough, I promise.” he tells you through gritted teeth. It’s getting harder and harder to have a normal conversation while he is fucking you so intimately. Every ounce of his love poured into every devastating thrust.

He loves you.

“Wasn’t good enough for you, or our- our baby.”

“Stop it darlin’. Please stop. I- I need—”

“I can’t live like this-!” you cry out. His hand covers your mouth entirely as his mind tries to process what he needs to say to you. Christ. What does he need to say to you? Everything and nothing all at once. He thinks he should start with I love you. But is he prepared to open that can of worms?

“I need… you. I’m gonna leave her, yeah? My wife. Let’s… try again. Me and you, hah? I won’t pull out this time, let me… let me—”

“Tojiiiii—”

“You’re good enough, baby, more than good enough. I’ll cum inside and we can try again. I need to, I need to.”

Your tears stream endlessly but silently. Is this really what you want? Do you want him to break up his family to satiate your unfulfilled desires? It doesn’t matter. You find yourself nodding anyway. Perhaps it will dull the ache inside of you. It could be the plaster to cover to puncture wound in your aching heart; it’s been bleeding since that day.

Toes begin to curl as he continuously batters the spongy centre that spells your eventual undoing with his fat cock head. He isn’t doing much better. Nobody and nothing will compare to the rush and the high he feels as when your precious cunt swallows him again and again.

“Gonna- cum, with me. Please, baby. Cum with me now.” Toji pants.

Your lips are on his again, both of you focusing on your impending climaxes. The way you break away to moan momentarily before smothering each other in kisses yet again is such a lewd, romantic, high that you can’t get enough of. He pounds you perfectly and it’s an arrangement neither of you have been able to let go of after all of these years.

“Oh God, I’m cumming- cumming baby…” he alerts you. You’re practically choking on your own orgasm as it swims through you. Nails dig into his back as you try and hold onto the feeling for as long as you can. He fills you with his warmth, heaving like a desperate animal while he breeds you to the brim.

What have you done?

Time wasn’t a healer for either of you. The days got harder and harder and you couldn’t even stomach looking at him. Each time you looked at him, you saw what could have been. What should have been. The father of your son. The man who was going to teach him everything he knew and help your little boy cause all kinds of mischief for you.

The man you thought could keep you both safe.

That’s how he found himself married to a woman he would never love as much as he loved you. There was a drift, it was aggressive and painful, yet necessary. But you found yourself brought back together a few years after Megumi was born. You were practically an aunt to his son. A second mother, even. A sordid little secret.

You don’t hate Megumi, you just wish he was yours.

The pair of you got changed after he had his post fuck cigarette, knowing you couldn’t risk dallying for fear of being caught. You didn’t doubt for a minute that if you called him in a few weeks and told him you were carrying his child, he’d kidnap Megumi and run away with you to start your new family life together. And you would love that, you’d love him. You’d love it all.

But, it isn’t right. Is it?

He grabs his car keys, readying himself to drive you home to be alone with your dark thoughts. Before you step outside, though, something plagues your mind. A question that you simply must know the answer to. He looks scared, honestly. The way you’re facing him and eyeing him up as the same words twist and circle through your mind. A heavy hand rests on your waist, the other on your cheek. He’s scared, it’s obvious, but he’s still encouraging you to talk.

“Do you ever think about Rocco?” you ask him, genuinely curious. Toji has never felt the need to bring him up, this is the first you’ve discussed him in years. It kills you to think that Toji has managed to shut out thoughts of his unborn son while you are plagued with them each and every waking moment of your pointless life.

And there it is. That warm, kind smile, that is the Toji you know and love.

“All of the time.”

Four simple words have you breaking down like you did that day in the bathtub. Your head is pulled into his chest as he holds you close and tightly, allowing you to bawl every emotion onto him. You can’t control yourself and you don’t want to stop. It’s fine, he thinks. It’s clear that you need it. At least you know something today that you didn’t know yesterday. One piece of information that might take some of the burden off your own shoulders.

At least you know you aren’t alone.

© 2021 fuwushiguro | © 2023 rinhaler

this is a repost from my old account

[call-me-maggie13]

My late 40s to early 50s boss just asked what’s wrong with 18-25 year olds these days

And as a 21 year old all I could think was

The world has been on fire since we were born and we’ve been told the adults are putting it out and now we’re old enough to realize they’ve been pouring kerosene on the flames instead of water.

Before my first birthday, 9/11 happened and the world wouldn’t let us forget it. When I was 6 years old, on September 11th, my teacher sat us down in front of a tv and showed us footage of 9/11 and then told us we weren’t allowed to cry. She said that it was real and those were real people jumping from the building because jumping was a faster death than burning.

When I was 7 years old, the economy collapsed and my family went from lower middle class to poverty, we went from healthy home cooked meals every night to mac and cheese and beans for weeks in a row. We started skipping holidays because mom and dad couldn’t keep the lights on and buy us new toys. We started wearing clothes and shoes until they fell apart.

When I was 11 years old, Sandy Hook was attacked by a grown man with a gun and 26 children and teachers were brutally murdered. My teachers never looked at us the same and I haven’t felt safe in a school since. After that, once a month we would have active shooter drills and we were taught to fight and cause as much damage as possible if an armed man entered our classroom because it gave other classes a few extra seconds to escape, it gave our siblings a few extra breaths of safety. We were taught to cover ourselves in other students blood and play dead if we weren’t hit, we were taught that we weren’t safe and we wouldn’t be safe as long as we were in school.

When I was 15 years old, my high school art teacher locked us in the classroom and told us if we heard gunshots we should line the desks up lengthwise so that they reached the other wall because that would be harder to break through than a barricade. She told us that she knew about the threats and she wouldn’t judge any of us that wanted to leave. She told us to get our siblings and stay in the buildings as long as possible, to duck in between the cars so we couldn’t be seen until we got to ours. She told us about the trail behind the auto shop that was lined with trees and led off campus. I got my brother and his friends and we left, we spent the day sitting on the floor in my living room waiting for a phone call that the people we left behind were dying.

Two weeks later, one of my friends dragged me out of a football game and forced me to go home with him. He grabbed my brothers and my best friend and forced the six of us into a two seater car before he would tell us anything. His mom worked for the school board and had told him the police found an active bomb under the bleachers in the student section, and they weren’t informing anyone because they didn’t want to incite panic.

When I was 16 years old, ISIS set off a bomb at a pop concert in Britain and killed 22 people, injuring at least 100 more. The next day at school, our teachers went over how to stay safe if we ever experienced something like that. They told us the most important thing to remember was to not remove any shrapnel because it could be keeping us from bleeding out, they said it was more important to get yourself out safely before you worried about anyone else.

When I was 18 years old, my teachers stopped teaching and put the news up on the projector and we watched as the Notre-Dame burned. The boy I had sat next to since second grade spent the entire day trying to call his sister who was studying abroad in Paris, I watched this kid I had never even seen frown fall apart in English because she wouldn’t pick up the phone. We didn’t know it at the time, but she was okay.

Six months later, my history teacher put the news on the projector again for another fire. This time, we watched as an entire continent burned for three months. We watched their sky turned orange from the smoke and their wildlife drowned in pools because they were trying to escape the heat.

When I was 19 years old, the whole world shut down because of a global pandemic. I didn’t meet a single new person for eight months, despite the fact that I had just moved across the country. I watched as people didn’t wear masks and spread it to everyone around them, I was so scared when I went back to my room every night because my roommate was immunocompromised and I was terrified I would give her Covid and kill her.

Just two months later, I watched a video of a black man being murdered by police officers. I watched the world around me explode after George Floyd’s death, people destroying businesses and police stations. I watched some of my friends realize police officers didn’t exist to keep them safe, they existed to keep the people in power in power. I learned that some of the people I had grown up with would rather watch a black man die than admit that maybe, maybe, the system was broken.

When I was 20 years old, I went to the mall with a friend to buy a birthday present and I was pulled to the ground by a twelve-year-old girl after gunshots went off in the mall. I held this child’s hands as she cried for two hours until we were evacuated by police, and then I waited with her outside and helped her look for her mom. I gave her my phone to call her mom and I watched as she called the number over and over and never got a reply. I waited with her until a police officer took her to the station to try to find out more information about the girl’s mom, I hugged this girl I had never seen before and I wished her the best. I never found out what happened to her or her mom, it keeps me up at night sometimes worrying that this little girl was orphaned.

When I was 21 years old, I started working at a daycare and exactly a week later, Uvalde happened and I found myself crying because my students are the same age those kids were. When they came in after school the next day, one of them had asked me if I had heard about Uvalde and I told her I had, I asked her if she was scared of going to school because of it. Her reply broke my heart. “We practice for it every week so that when it happens to us, we know what to do. I’m just worried that the shooter is going to start in my baby sister’s classroom and not mine.” I listened as other students with younger siblings agreed with her, one of them saying “I would take fifty bullets, if I had to to keep my little brother safe.”

Early this year, I watched Russia launched bombs into Ukraine, blowing up churches and schools and hospitals and apartment buildings. I watched as the estimated death count rose from the hundreds to the thousands to the tens of thousands. I watched men send their wives and children to bordering countries for refuge while they stayed behind to fight, knowing they would probably never see each other again.

Just four months ago, I watched as my right to medical privacy got taken away. I watched my old roommate fall apart because she was denied the right to have her dead fetus removed from her body for almost two days, I worried every time I looked away from her that the next time I saw her would be in a casket. I watched as the women around me realized the military-grade weapons that had torn children in classrooms apart were protected by the government but our bodies weren’t.

There is nothing “wrong” with my generation, we’ve experienced all these things as children and were expected to respond with patriotism for a country that continuously sacrificed their children for the “right” to military-grade weapons, that took away my freedom of choice. We are tired, we were told the world was a wonderful place then shown, at every step, how the world was a place of destruction and pain. And we are angry. We are angry because no one but us seems to be trying to fix anything. And we are scared. We are scared because our children, our nieces and nephews, our cousins and our friends children are growing up in a world that won’t protect them.

[mywingsareonwheels]

The rise in extremely highly funded transphobic discourse and attacks in the last few years started very shortly after victories for same-sex marriage and abortion rights in various countries. I don't think it's even remotely a stretch to see it as a response to those victories.

I remember the absolute joy of a lot of trans women I was following on Twitter in 2019 when abortion was decriminalised in Northern Ireland. It was beautiful to see and utterly unsurprising.

I remember how much het and ace trans people have supported same-sex marriage, like, forever. <3

Transphobia is designed to split and break both the LGBTQIA+ rights movement *and* the women's rights movement, in order to weaken both. It's divide and conquer. One of the biggest fundraisers for both the anti-trans movement in the UK (who is also a significant donor to the Tory party...) is a mostly-former fiction writer who claims to be doing this for women but whose intense degree of internalised misogyny leaks between every line of everything she says and has written. That's not a coincidence.

Transphobia is intrinsically entwined with misogyny (and at minimum certain kinds of misandry), homophobia, biphobia, and acephobia. It's also pretty much always accompanied by racism, antisemitism, ageism, and ableism (internalised or lateral in some cases; still there). That's not a coincidence either.

The message? Well, don't be a transphobe, obviously. Don't give any money to that fucking mostly-ex-writer. But also beware of anything else that tries to create or increase divisions between us.

[onlytiktoks]

[marquisoforder]

This song is about being raped when you are underaged and still having to deliver the child of your rapist because your right to an abortion has been taken from you. The running metaphor is about being “occupied”, both politically and physically, by those who are more powerful than you. It contains extremely relevant themes about abuse, colonization, and loss of autonomy. And people still disregard the politics of his lyrics and try so hard to stick this man in their autumn forest fae fantasy I’m so done with it

[surlyqueen]

Man, I was on FB and ran across some probably fake promo shot for Zootopia 2 that implied Judy and Nick had kids.

I don't know why the fuck I was reading the comments...

Most of the comments were mundane with varying degrees of positive/negative reactions.

AND THEN...

ONE.

PERSON.

Said, "Huh, I guess she didn't get the abortion."

And I hate myself for even remembering that I know what this is in reference to, but I'm also cackling because of all the people yelling in response, that obviously do not know what it is a reference to, and it was very weird and I have no one irl I could share this specific moment with (because then I would have to revisit the source material), so I guess Tumblr gets it.

[tadpoleatemybrain]

How In the Hells?

Astarion x gender-neutral Generi-Tav (I don't make good Tavs T_T)

Words: 1k-1.5k

Tw: pregnancy, mentions of abortion

"What?" The question left Astarion’s lips before he could even attempt to stop himself. Confusion and disbelief were transparent in his expression. Voice soft and questioning. Not the reaction anyone would have anticipated from someone who had just been told he was about to become a father. The doctor even seemed a bit surprised. Reactions to this particular revelation varied wildly, but they usually leaned more towards happiness or unhappiness, not disbelief.

"You're sure?" Tav questioned, seeming equally doubtful. 

"Yes, the tests were all positive. You’re pregnant." The doctor confirmed, growing a bit weary. Why was a couple with this configuration confused that pregnancy had occurred? Of course, said couple hadn’t been…entirely truthful. As they couldn’t know everyone’s general opinion on vampires it had been in their best interest to conceal that little detail. Mostly just covering the neck holes. Hoping the red eyes and paleness could be explained away.

"Yay, darling, we're so excited, aren't we?" Astarion said with feigned excitement, an attempt to gloss over his first reaction. A smile painted on as he took Tav's hand. Yet, both looked into each other's eyes bewildered. 

This wasn't a possibility they had ever considered and therefore taken no steps to prevent...obviously. They had assumed one partner being undead had removed that potential. Naturally throwing caution to the wind during what most would have considered their honeymoon. 

What a honeymoon it had been too. Traveling the coast, hunting monsters, resting in each other's arms every night. Just the two of them. Truly everything the couple could have hoped for and then some. It had only been cut short by Tav's sudden fatigue and consistent nausea. Quickly pivoting to getting to the closest settlement and seeking out whatever healer they had available. Fortunately, the first village they found had a doctor.

The pair listened to the doctor inform them of what to expect, what steps to take, and when they should come back for checkups. Yet, the words weren't quite sticking. How could they when the doctor was speaking on a normal pregnancy and nothing about this was normal. They didn’t dare to bring this up to the doctor either, doubting that he would have any experience on this topic.

When the two were finally alone again, the act dropped. Able to fully expose their confusion and panic. 

The two lines were spoken simultaneously. 

"How in the hells am I pregnant?!" 

"How in the hells are you pregnant?!" 

It was almost a relief for the two to share the sentiment. Able to trust each other enough not to minimize their reactions. However, their opinions on the matter couldn’t be any more different. One was filled with a sense of hope and joy and the other could only feel dread.

“This is…this is…wow. Unexpected definitely. Gods, what are we going to do?” Tav asked.

"Well, obviously, we need to get rid of it. The sooner, the better." Astarion stated. Firmly believing that nothing good could come of this. That this had to be some sort of fluke or worse some sort of curse. What would cause him to think any other way?

So many questions filled his mind. Who did one even call for that? How did that procedure even work in this scenario? Could it? Where would they have to go? If anyone knew this information it certainly couldn't be common. Hells Astarion didn’t even know a word for this whatever this thing inside of Tav was. Could it even be called a baby?

"What?" Tav asked as if the wind had been knocked out of them. This miraculous gift had been given to them, and he didn't want it? Shouldn't he be overjoyed? An opportunity to have a family together. Something they had thought they had to abandon. Yet here it was.

"You've already had one parasite inside you, you want another?" 

"A parasite?! It's a child! Our child!" Tav shouted. Clearly pissed at the comparison. A baby wasn’t a mind-flayer tadpole. 

“We have to assume it's at least partially a vampire and what do vampires need? Blood. Where is the blood Tav? Inside you. Where is the baby? Also inside you! Do you not see the problem?!”

"I've sustained you, haven't I?! I think I can handle another!" They retorted.

"That’s different. I have consciousness. I have control. I want to protect you. That-" He pointed to their stomach. 

"doesn't. All it wants to do is live and it will, even at your expense. Gods, why is this even an argument?!" The vampire replied exasperated. Running his hand through his hair. Why was he so much more concerned about the ramifications of this than Tav was? It was their life that was in jeopardy. They sunk into a chair. It would be a lie to say that they weren’t concerned at all. His points were valid, but there was a counterpoint to be made.

“What if it’s not even a vampire at all? What if that can’t be passed down? It could be a half-elf.” What if the elf part was all that could be passed on? If that was the case then the largest part of his concerns went out the window. A half-elf pregnancy wasn’t uncommon. Surely something any doctor could handle.

“That feels incredibly optimistic. Do forgive me for not sharing in it, but we have to think in the worst case.” Given how most things in his life had gone it wasn’t odd for him to believe that things would continue to go wrong. Optimism was still quite new to the vampire.

"Astarion, we can figure this out. One way or the other. After everything we've been through I think we can handle a baby. What if…what if we never have another chance?" Tav looked up at him with pleading eyes.

"We've been fine without it and we already planned a life without it. Why is that suddenly ch-" Tav cut him off.

"Because we didn't think we could, but now we can. That has changed everything." They stood up and took his hand.

"You're set on this aren't you?" He sighed as his thumb rubbed over the back of their hand.

"Please, can we at least try? If-if it gets bad we’ll get help.” There were a few people they could turn to. How helpful they would be in this particular instance…well that would remain to be seen. Of course, they were going to look into this as much as possible before they decided to get anyone else involved. There were dozens of libraries on the coast including Candlekeep, surely at least one of them would have something regarding this. However, getting into Candlekeep was easier said than done.

“Alright, but if this goes terribly I won’t hesitate. I just got you Tav, and I won’t be losing you so soon. I can’t…” Tav heard the break in his voice and pulled him into a hug. 

“I think you’re worrying too much. We just need to change some plans, do a little research and everything will be fine.” They said reassuringly.

“This does change all of our plans doesn’t it?” They couldn’t continue to travel and slay monsters with a little one in tow. Now they would have to consider settling down, getting steady jobs, and putting down roots. All things they had intended to do at some point, but now so much sooner than before and with one other to account for.

“Mhmm, but we’ve always been pretty good at adjusting plans.” Tav looked up at him with a soft smile.

“A rogue is nothing if not adaptable.” Astarion agreed.

[miss-may-i]

Miss May I: Season 4 Part 33

Domingo: Don't mess up or you'll be back.

Noah: Eat my ass, Warden.

Noah: Get me out of this hell.

Vivian: Don't get too excited. You're just going to a different hell. Once we get home I need to talk to you and Julie.

Noah: What? More lectures?

Vivian: Yep. I'm a teacher. It's what we do. Come on, hop in. You have a son waiting to see you.

Noah: Hi Jasper.

Noah: I've missed you.

Vivian: First thing's first: no more babies. I'm not stupid. I know what's going to happen behind closed doors and I don't care what it takes. The pill, shot, implant, condoms, abortion. No more babies.

Vivian: I'm exhausted, Julie's exhausted, and soon you're going to be exhausted.

Vivian: Second, since it's summer vacation, Noah you can help out at the bar. I can't pay you more than minimum wage, but you can keep all your tips.

Noah: Cool, does that mean I'll be around alcohol?

Vivian: ...

Vivian: Maybe you should apply around town first. I saw the grocery store is hiring. You should check there.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Season 1 | Season 2 | Season 3

Previous | Beginning | Next

Family Tree

*Holding baby pose by @bmit04*

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

Pregnant?

What happened when he got pregnant? Did they make him get 'rid' of them?

They didn't make him get rid of them, but often it ended with miscarriages due to abuse. Only two didn't end that way and the creeps let Eclipse keep them, since the babies made Eclipse more willing to listen to them.

[digenerate-trash]

Yelllow your friendly neighbor hood [RETRACTED] here

Just to take over the anon with the pregnant PC ask (also cuz I saw it and just wanted to do something in life for once.. I swear I feel my skin rotting and feel the bugs crawling)

Anyways Yan bailey finds a positive pregnancy sounds good just make Yan robin find out too mkay? That dumb little shit deserves trauma or at least feel depressed for not being the father and find out that the caretaker is the father

(Damn baby we hate Robin on my blog???? At least yan robin. That's wild. Please read the tags!!!!)

AMAB Bailey | AMAB Robin | AFAB PC

It's been sitting on his desk for a week now. He found it during one of his infamous "visits" with you and his heart nearly stopped.

God must be playing some kind of cruel joke because wasn't he sterile? Wasn't that why he never thought to use protection- why would he? Why would he even think that this was a possibility?

But here was the proof. A little pink plus on a stick. Such a little thing that would ruin his life.

He wasn't sure if he was thinking of you, the test. Or the little "bundle of joy" but whatever he was thinking of his plan was simple. Get rid of it.

Maybe he could salvage you. But the kid couldn't stay. And neither could evidence of him viciously attacking you. Maybe his plan to make you vanish would have to move up a bit. After this whole.... pregnancy thing was dealt with.

He still... cares for you. In a strange way. But he can't have you telling the whole town that the newest orphan is Bailey's.

But when he goes to confront you the padlock key in hand there's Robin outside your door. They're a little disheveled they must have been here all night.

"Move," Bailey commands it startles the little brat and when they look up at Bailey they glare at him.

"No! You're not gonna hurt them!" Robin shouts. It's almost loud enough for the whole hall to hear. Bailey's a bit surprised the little brat has gained so much confidence but that's not what's important.

Bailey reaches out and grabs Robin by the scruff and throws them to the side. Grabbing the padlock and shoving the key in

Robin still tries to tear Bailey away from the door making it harder and harder to focus on what he's supposed to do.

"You're not gonna hurt my baby!"

Now this... gives Bailey some pause. Robin knows. But he's under some strange impression that it's theirs? You and Robin can't even get near each other in the orphanage. You go to school together but that's hardly a safe place to.... unless you were as much of a slut as the whole town condemned you to be...

Bailey shook that thought off before he looked at Robin "What makes you think it's yours?" He asks. Bailey is desperate for more details. You are his after all you shouldn't have even touched the boy but now he wants every sick detail so he can decide what to do with Robin.

"The d-door was unlocked o-once..." Robin stutters out. He knows he's been caught pregnancy doesn't just "happen" and as far as Robin knows the padlock is just to keep you trapped.

"So what? They invited you in?" Bailey snarls. Maybe after this whole pregnancy thing is dealt with he really will make you disappear.

"They... they were asleep. And It was just one time! I didn't mean to. I wanted to- but I lost control a bit and...." Robin tries to explain but tears start to form.

Bailey doesn't know what to say. He left the door unlocked once and this little ungrateful monster decided to fuck you- did you even know?

Bailey decided it was better to ease Robin's mind in the worst way he could think. The brat deserves to be punished for thinking he's entitled to something that's Bailey's.

"The baby isn't yours," Bailey says patting Robin on the shoulder in a deceptively kind gesture robin seems kind of relieved if puzzled

"it's mine," Bailey explains and the orphan goes pale. He looks like he's about to pass out or cry or something in between.

"It's not- you... you haven't-" Robin tries to muddy the water and rationalize why that couldn't be.

"Three times a week for about a year now. Maybe you should check my odds against your one-time violation."

Bailey unlocks the padlock leaving Robinn outside your room to come to terms with this new info. Telling Robin probablyy wasn't smart. But it's not like anyone in this town will believe him.

Besides. You have a doctor's appointment to get to.

[this-world-of-beautiful-monsters]

Was reminded of nattikay's existence and got inspired, decided I might as well use the poll function.

No "show option." Choose or face my blade. Reblog for more votes, etc.

@mayfriend @midnight1404 @kayjaydee17 @freshairforrabbits @bl00dw1tch @makitesuli

[20xbetterthanu]

i hate it when people go against abortion and say “i’m speaking up for those who don’t have a voice” when the children in their churches get SA’d and they sweep it under the rug, they watch police brutality happen in their faces, celebrate when LGBTQ+ people are assaulted and/or murdered, and they pass bills that take away all the protection of women and young girls. All in the name of Jesus, in the name of God.

They wouldn’t know Jesus if he stood in front of them and said “I’m here.”