#txt hurt comfort

[niningtori]

violets are blue | preview II

“what’s wrong? no bullshit. just tell me,” he demands in a way that is uncharacteristically solemn, but you can’t answer that. the only way to get him to forget about you is for you to distract him with the person he loves most.

“but your girlfriend —”

“don't even start. what’s wrong?” he, well, asks isn’t even really the world, is it? there’s no room for negotiation in his tone.

“i… i’m sick,” is all you can really say.

“sick how? sick like you need me to take you home?” and he doesn’t really believe his own implication that it’s something so easily fixable, but he has to try.

“i’m… i’m really sick. sick like i’m dying, sick,” you manage to croak out, and it’s everything he feared and more.

“what’s wrong?! do you need to go to the hospital?!” he panics, and you feel an overwhelming sense of dread. this is what you wanted to avoid because he can’t help you. nobody can.

“baby?” the soft voice of his girlfriend pipes up from behind you. his gaze is torn away from you for just a moment, but that’s enough to make you ache.

“not now!” he snaps before turning his attention back to you, but it’s too late. you feel the sharp stems scratching at your lungs, causing a scorching sort of pain you can’t even put into words. slowly, you begin to cough — choke, really — and beomgyu is helpless to watch as you clutch your chest and hack up a mess of bloodied, tangled flowers. his eyes widen as he takes in the blood seeping from the corners of your mouth.

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[hihello-pinky]

11 First Kisses

a record of eleven defining kisses you shared with Yeonjun

Non-Idol Choi Yeonjun x she/her reader! WC: 4.8k words Genre: friends to lovers to exes/strangers to lovers, some angst, some fluff, hurt maybe comfort? TWs: none (please let me know if I somehow missed any!)

A few disclaimers (?):

I know I’m supposed to be writing for Sight but I was trying to look for inspiration and I stumbled upon this in my drafts so...

I know this blog is for Haikyuu but please let me post here because I can barely manage this so I don’t think I can open a separate blog for TXT and also because this may be the first and last time I will write for TXT

ANYWAYs

here we go ~ kindly reblog and/or leave a comment if you liked it!!!!

-x-o-x-o-

Kiss #1

You both were fifteen, paired for a science project. You were sitting at the back-most part of the library, the tables near you unoccupied. You were busy explaining something Yeonjun couldn’t grasp and he could hear the frustration starting to drip from your voice since it was becoming obvious that he wasn’t listening. “Yeonjun, you’re not paying attention,” you said sternly.

“I am,” he replied, but his eyes were still trained on your plump lips as his head rested on his hand.

You dropped your pen and crossed your arms, facing him. With your eyebrows burrowed together, you whispered the threat. “I’m gonna ask Teacher Min if I can still switch partners.”

His only response was, “Can I kiss you?”

You were so taken aback by his question but after a few moments, nodded reluctantly. Yeonjun cheered internally – what he read in the books was right, after all! So, he carefully leaned in and gave you a quick peck. It was sweet with a faint taste of your favorite strawberry milk drink. You and Yeonjun’s very first kiss.

-x-o-x-o-

Kiss #2

His parents held a simple celebration for Yeonjun’s sixteenth birthday and he thought it was the best time to introduce you to his parents as his girlfriend ever since he finally asked you out a few weeks ago. You were nervous as he was your first boyfriend, you even stuttered while greeting them and you were so cute that Yeonjun committed the image to his memory. Who knew a meet-the-parents scenario would make the confident and smart L/N Y/N lose her nerves?

After the celebration, he snuck you into his room (after convincing you for ten minutes that you were not going to get caught and that if you did, it wouldn’t be a big deal, anyway) and as you sat awkwardly on his bed, he laughed and said, “Relax, we’re only going to kiss.” You visibly breathed a sigh of relief and you looked so adorable at that moment, sitting on his dark blue comforter, that he leaned in and kissed you. Your first kiss as an official couple.

 -x-o-x-o-

Kiss #3

Last day of summer before twelfth grade, Yeonjun and you were in your living room seated on the couch with a small distance between you two, watching Ouran High School Host Club, while a bowl of popcorn stood on the table in front of you. Yeonjun was starting to get into watching anime, all thanks to you. Your Mama told both of you that she was going on a quick grocery run for some salt or egg, he couldn’t recall.

As soon as the door shut behind her, you pulled Yeonjun closer towards you and he laughed a bit. He was surprised in delight because he was always the one initiating the affectionate acts between you. But that afternoon, after pulling him to your body, you turned your head in front of his and stole a quick kiss before focusing your attention back to the TV. He’ll always remember it – your first kiss that was initiated by you.

-x-o-x-o- 

Kiss #4

Your last year in senior high. Prom night. Yeonjun pulled you away from the dance floor, you struggling on your heels as he guided you towards the photobooth. Right before the camera shutter went off, he cupped your face and put his lips against yours. It was your first kiss captured in a photograph.

-x-o-x-o- 

Kiss #5

Your eighteenth birthday. The two of you were cuddling on your bed, your head on Yeonjun’s chest as you both looked at your ceiling decorated by the old glow-in-the-dark stars that everyone loved as children. Yeonjun had pasted his on random places but yours seemed to be arranged into constellations.

“And what’s that?” He asked, pointing to the five stars close to each other, which looked like they were the first ones to be pasted on the ceiling.

With his soft breath warm and comforting near you, you answered, “That’s Cassiopeia.”

“Like the calculator?” He asked innocently and felt your body shake in laughter.

“No, like the queen in Greek mythology. Did you not listen to literature class?”

Shaking his head, he looked down to face you and stared at your dark eyes. Before he could get lost in them, Yeonjun confessed. “I was bad in class because I was always busy watching you.”

You blushed, pink dusting your cheeks, and poked his nose. “Since when did you have a crush on me?”

“Seventh grade,” he answered without a second thought. “You were annoyed at me for checking your science quiz messily.”

“Crazy!” you exclaimed, almost hitting your head against his. “That was the moment I began to really notice you. Who would have thought I’d end up falling in love with the boy who can’t grade a paper properly?”

Yeonjun became silent as soon as you finished your sentence and he didn’t tell you then but at that moment, he was so relieved. He’d been dying to drop the L-word on you but was afraid he would scare you away. Could you imagine how he felt when he heard your slip of the tongue?

You realized what you have said and gently snuggled closer to his chest, your hair tickling his chin. In a whisper, you said softly, “I love you, Yeonjun.”

He planted a soft kiss at the top of your head before turning down so you’re face to face. “I love you, Y/N.” Staring into each other’s eyes, you leaned towards each other and closed the gap. Your first kiss after saying I love you.

 -x-o-x-o-

Kiss #6

You were crying. Not the tears-silently-running-down-your-face kind of crying but the messy-tears-and-runny-nose crying. It was time for the both of you to go to college and Yeonjun got accepted in the country’s top university for musicians and dancers. When you first found out the news, you were filled with pride because you knew how much Yeonjun loved performing. However, Yeonjun getting accepted into his dream school also meant he would have to move to a city four hours away from home.

His parents were kind enough to let you know you were welcome to tag along when they would drop Yeonjun off in his dorms but you declined the offer, not trusting yourself to bid a proper goodbye and besides, you wanted to give that moment to his parents.

So, you and Yeonjun set a date for the whole day before he moved and as you watched the sunset under your favorite tree, the fact that the day was closing to an end hit you like a brick and you weren’t able to stop yourself from ugly-crying at the thought that your boyfriend would be moving the next day.

“I promise I’d go home as often as I can,” Yeonjun said as he tried to wipe your tears away.

Instead of being comforted, what he said only made you cry harder. Yeonjun pulled you against him and let you cry until it felt like you ran out of tears. And when you regained your composure later on, he sweetly kissed your lips. “I’ll hold on to this,” you said after a while, smiling gently at him, “our salty first goodbye kiss.”

-x-o-x-o- 

Kiss #7

On your fourth anniversary, you and Yeonjun had a fight. You were both on your sophomore year in university. You were elated when he told you he’d be coming home for the weekend and you prepared a surprise for him. Yeonjun did come home, but he wasn’t alone.

Soobin and Taehyun were with him, his friends that he met on his first year. As it turned out, Yeonjun only went home to show them around your town, to let his family meet them. He didn’t remember what you were supposed to celebrate. So, Saturday came and it was your anniversary but you didn’t even get to see him until late at night when you dropped by their house.

When Yeonjun saw you, his face didn’t transform into that happy expression he always wore whenever the two of you meet after not seeing each other for some time. Instead, he said with a hint of surprise and something else in his voice, “I didn’t know you were coming.”

You replied with a nonchalant shrug. “Well, you sure don’t know a lot of things these days.”

At that, Yeonjun frowned before he grabbed your wrist and brought you to his room, his guests and family awkwardly trying not to look at the scene. Once he closed the door, he asked in a barely contained voice, “What the hell was that?”

And you knew you should have been calmer but instead, you retorted with, “Who the hell forgets what the date today is?”

Yeonjun’s budding anger was replaced with confusion. “I don’t know what you’re talking… about.” The way he slowly trailed off let you know that he just remembered at that moment what the day was. “Shit. I’m sorry.”

You wanted to stay mad but the apologetic look he gave you – like a puppy asking to be forgiven after chewing something he’s not supposed to – made your heart melt. You reached for his hand and squeezed it. “You owe me one day where you’ll only be with me.”

Yeonjun laced your fingers together and raised it towards his lips so he could plant a kiss on the back of your hand. “Of course. And I won’t only give you one day, I’ll give you the rest of my life.”

You were glad that his lights were off because you were absolutely sure that you blushed like crazy at the implication of Yeonjun’s words. “Shut up.”

He laughed at you and leaned closer, your lips barely touching. “You’re not mad at me anymore?”

“No…”

A sigh of relief. “Thank you,” he lightly brushed your lips against yours. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” you replied.

As if to seal your exchanged words, he locked his lips with yours and the two of you shared your first make-up kiss.

-x-o-x-o- 

Kiss #8

Yeonjun’s twenty-first birthday celebration. He had come home after not visiting your town for a few months. It was the first time that you were nervous about him coming home because you knew there were a lot of things that needed to be addressed. During the past months you’ve been away from each other, you lacked communication and time together. You weren’t even sure how to interact with Yeonjun. But still, the smile he gave you as you arrived at the celebration his family threw for him was enough to reassure your heart.

You could name a lot of memories between you and your boyfriend which brought you happiness, and you were about to add that day to the memories but alas, it’s as if time just decided to tease you, letting you borrow joy for a quick moment. The whole celebration, you felt confident about your relationship and where you and Yeonjun stood in each other’s lives. But then came the announcement of his Dad.

“Yeonjun has grown into a fine man,” he began. “I’m very proud of my only child and since today is a special one, we want to share with you that he got accepted for a spring program focusing on music and dance in Singapore this coming break.” He paused as if letting everyone absorb what he just said. “On top of that, he also got chosen as one of the cultural exchange students in Japan for one semester.” Applause followed around the room, cheers and hoots of excitement from the guests and you felt bad for not being completely happy with the news.

The spring and exchange programs meant he’d be out of the country for six months. Half a year. Could you both make that work? And more importantly, you kept thinking about how come you had to learn about them that way? Did Yeonjun purposely not tell you or was he just too busy?

Yeonjun walked you home after the celebration and you were silent the whole time. In the past, any silence between the two of you was comfortable, basking in the feeling that you could tell what each other was thinking without words being exchanged. But at that time, it felt as if you were walking the streets with a stranger. You finally broke the silence when you stopped in front of your gate. “Congratulations.”

Your bodies were facing but you weren’t looking at each other. “Y/N,” Yeonjun finally said before reaching for your hand, gingerly enclosing it with his. You could feel he was staring at your face but still felt scared to meet his eyes. Instead, you looked down at your hands, your brows furrowing as you noticed the chip on your newly-manicured left pinky. “Are we okay?”

Maybe it was the way that there was uncertainty in his usually confident voice. Maybe it was the implication of what he asked; a silent acknowledgment of the things you’ve both been trying to ignore for the past months. Whatever the reason was, Yeonjun’s question made you burst into tears. It didn’t help that his fingers were quick to brush them away.

“I don’t know, Jun,” you finally answered after regaining a little bit of composure. “I’m not sure about us right now.” At that moment, you almost spilled everything to him: the fear, doubt, hurt, and longing that you’ve been feeling. But instead, you reached up to your face to wipe the stray tears left. “I’m sorry.”

He pulled you close to him, and the familiar warmth of his arms around you didn’t help in stopping your tears. You felt his lips on your forehead. “To be honest, I’m not sure as well,” Yeonjun confessed and then cupped your face, making sure you were eye to eye as he said the next words. “But this I’m a hundred percent sure of. I love you, Y/N, and I won’t give up on us. Okay?”

You nodded, badly wanting to believe that everything will be okay between you and Yeonjun. “Okay.”

A small smile finally found its way to his lips. He brought your face closer to his, brushed his thumbs against your lips, and leaned down. A kiss. A whisper of promises. With the dark sky littered by stars, it was a moment that you would later try to forget. Your first kiss with Yeonjun that didn’t bring butterflies to your stomach.

-x-o-x-o- 

Kiss #9

It was at an old friend’s wedding where you met Yeonjun again after several years. It was an unexpected and awkward reunion. The last time you heard back then, he was happy with his job in Japan, working at a dance academy that had sourced him when he was studying there. You remember how, after the exchange program, he only went back to the country to finish his last term in university and shortly after graduating, moved to Japan.

“Hey.” His voice broke you out of your thoughts, making you look at him. Now that he’s in closer proximity, you could properly observe him. He had grown his hair to barely above his shoulder, the black silky strands looking vibrant as ever. His body was well-defined. He looked different and yet the same. Those warm eyes looking at you intently. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

You offered a friendly smile. “Shouldn’t I be the one to ask you that question?”

Yeonjun actually laughed a little and the sound brought a wave of nostalgia to you. “I moved back six months ago.” He rubbed at his nape – a force of habit you knew he had since he was younger. “It’s nice to see you again, Y/N. It’s been so long.” He took a sip from his drink and you couldn’t help but stare at his plump lips. You’re reminded of how they felt like against yours.

“Yeah...” You answered distractedly. Upon realizing what you’ve been doing, you quickly cast your eyes somewhere else. “How have you been?”

Yeonjun pursed his lips, contemplating on an answer before settling with a simple, “Great.” His eyes crinkled a little as he smiled at you. “How about you? You look dashing.”

You tried to not put too much meaning on his compliment. “I’m good. I teach kids in fifth grade.”

That made him smile. “As expected of you. You always loved to help others understand lessons they have trouble dealing with.” His words unintentionally brought you back to when you were fifteen years old, trying to explain to Yeonjun a topic for the project you were paired to work on together. That day in the library, when you both had your first kiss.

“Well,” you cleared your throat, setting your glass down on the table. “It was nice seeing you again, Yeonjun.” You hoped he couldn’t hear the hesitancy in your voice and the way your heart was beating loudly in your chest all because of him. It’s been many years since you last saw each other and yet, the moment you first saw him two hours ago, all the longing came back instantly, as if they were always there and were barely contained by a flimsy gate.

“Yeah...” Yeonjun replied awkwardly. He slightly fidgeted in place and it pained you that you could no longer tell what it meant for him. You could no longer read Yeonjun as easily as you were able to before. Still, he made no move to leave you. “Do you want to-”

“Y/N!” An excited voice joined you but immediately faltered once the person realized you were with someone he didn’t know. “Oh, hi.”

You smiled at the guy. “Kai, this is Yeonjun, the one who kept on putting all kinds of bugs and insects inside Beomgyu’s locker up until middle school. Yeonjun, this is Kai. He moved to our town a few years back and is the one responsible for this very event. He’s the one who introduced Beomgyu to his partner.”

The two exchanged greetings. “Oh, you really came! I’ve heard a lot about you!” Kai shared excitedly, making your eyes widen in panic. Realizing his slip up, Kai quickly amended with, “I always tease Beomgyu and he tells me how there’s someone from his childhood who always played a prank on him...”

Whether Yeonjun bought it or not was unknown to you, another reminder of the bitter reality that you no longer knew him as well as you did in the past. Before the three of you could continue your conversation, another friend who hasn’t seen Yeonjun in years called for his attention from a few tables down. He gave you a quick smile before reluctantly going to the said person.

After Yeonjun left, you gave your friend a pointed look and Kai quickly held up his hands in defense. “I’m sorry I slipped up!”

You rolled your eyes before mimicking him. “You really came!” An accusing look was on your face. “Did you know all along that he’s invited to the wedding?”

Like a deer caught in headlights, Kai only gave you a guilty look. “Hear me out, okay? I didn’t tell you because I knew you would be overthinking a lot on the months and weeks leading to this day. You so obviously still have feelings for Yeonjun and I just didn’t want you to... you know... think a lot about him more than you already do on a daily basis.”

“I do not think a lot about him on a daily basis, Kai.”

He scoffed. “You so do.”

You sent him a glare but it was in a friendly nature. Kai became one of your closest friends ever since he helped you get a strawberry milk from one of the vending machines in the school where he also worked as a teacher. He was also the one who tried to set you up on dates with other people, all of which miserably failed, which he attributed to you never getting over Yeonjun, your first love.

“Shut up, I’ve already moved on.” Kai only laughed at that because you both knew that it was far from the truth. He didn’t call you out though and the two of you continued to banter, passing the time, all the while unaware of eyes that kept watching you.

Beomgyu was a friend of yours who always gets back to people who have wronged him and it’s one of the things you oddly liked about him. But alas, you didn’t know the day would come when you would be a pawn in his revenge. Stupid, younger Yeonjun and his locker pranks.

As it turned out, Beomgyu, a dear old mutual friend of you and Yeonjun, oh-so-conveniently overlooked a tiny detail when booking the rooms at the hotel and resort where all the guests of his beach wedding would be staying. The mistake being, you and Yeonjun having to share a room with only one bed.

“This is so cliché,” you groaned out in frustration as you stood inside the room and heard the sound of the door shutting behind you. “Beomgyu is so unbelievable!”

Yeonjun quietly went towards the bed and it wasn’t until he was seated on the soft mattress that he spoke. “That brat.” A small shake of his head before looking to meet your eyes with a slight smile. “He never changed, huh.”

“Yeah.” The way he was looking at you made you feel things and suddenly, frustration was no longer your most dominant emotion at the moment. You cleared your throat, eyes not leaving Yeonjun’s as you carefully said the next words. “But I’m glad he didn’t. It’s comforting to know that despite all the things and people that have changed and slipped away through my fingers, some remained and stayed the same.”

Silence settled in the room but Yeonjun’s gaze didn’t falter. You hated how you couldn’t fathom what the look on his eyes meant. He stood from the bed and walked towards your frozen figure near the door and stopped when there was only a small distance between your bodies. “Y/N.”

“Yeonjun.”

It was a simple exchange of your names and yet, it felt as if there were so many words that were said between the two of you. Thousands of things left unsaid during the past several years when you were out of each other’s lives. Finally, he spoke aloud. “Do you want to talk, Y/N?”

You nodded almost immediately, your heart rioting inside your chest. “But can I ask a question first?”

With a slight tilt of his head to the side, he said, “Okay.”

For a split second, you were tempted to back out and change the question you were about to ask him. But you remembered how you’ve never been truly happy in the romance aspect of your life during the past years and so, with a deep breath, you decided to just go along, knowing your cheeks were flushed pink. “Can you please kiss me?”

His face broke into that handsome smile of his that was all too familiar, eyes turning into small crescents as he closed the short distance between you. It would always be special and you’d be forever grateful to Beomgyu for somehow making it happen.

Your first kiss with Yeonjun, ten years after the break up.

 -x-o-x-o-

Kiss #10

If someone would ask Yeonjun what his favorite day was, they’d probably expect him to answer with any of the following: the day he got accepted into his dream school, the day the dance academy in Japan offered the contract to him, the day he met the performer who was his role-model, the day he first kissed you. All of which would be wrong.

His favorite day would be the one where his younger self’s dream became a reality: him waiting at the end of an aisle of flowers, you walking down in your white dress and a bouquet of beautiful flowers in your hands.

The girl of his dreams looking as beautiful as always. As beautiful as the day you were annoyed at him for incorrectly grading your test paper. As beautiful as the day he first asked if he could kiss you. As beautiful as the day he first brought you to his room. As beautiful as that night he took you to prom and you spent the half of it complaining about how your feet hurt from wearing heels. As beautiful as the day you said goodbye to him before he went off to university. As beautiful as the day he broke your heart shortly before he flew to Singapore. As beautiful as the day he saw you at Beomgyu’s wedding.

In every single moment, you looked beautiful. Yeonjun couldn’t believe how lucky he was to be given a second chance of loving and being loved by you. And after you exchanged your vows and put the rings on each other’s fingers, he couldn’t help but shed a single tear for what you were about to share.

A core memory for him: your first kiss as husband and wife.

-x-o-x-o- 

Kiss #11

One hundred days after your wedding, Yeonjun was surprised when you came to him with an idea. Let’s record all of our important “first kisses”! He laughed a bit and told you that there was only supposed to be one first kiss. But you had insisted and asked (forced) him to think back to all the kisses you have shared and surprisingly enough, the both of you were able to come up with 10 first kisses that defined your relationship.

“Isn’t this cute?” You had asked him as you finished decorating the small scrapbook that you both were working on. “How sweet that it ends with us getting married. Ah, I’m getting all the feels from a romance book!”

He had agreed absentmindedly as his mind was more focused on taking in every single one of your features. The whisker dimples that appear whenever you smile and laugh. Your eyes that he could spend eternity getting lost in. And most importantly, your lips that he couldn’t kiss enough. “So, you finally agree that we stop recording at ten?”

You poked your cheek with your tongue and after a bit of contemplation, gave him a smile. “Yeah. I think it’s best to leave it at that.” You looked so lovely at that moment, and, unable to stop himself, Yeonjun leaned towards you for one sweet kiss.

------------------------------

Yeonjun closed the book and looked at the woman beside him. She always looked younger than her age and the only indication that she’s approaching her fifties were the streaks of gray hair beginning to peek out from her head. The woman looked at him, confusion written all over her face. “I don’t understand.”

He resisted the urge to tuck a stray hair behind her ear. “You don’t understand what?”

“I thought the agreement is to leave it at ten first kisses? Why are there eleven?”

A smile that was a mix of happiness and melancholia made its way to Yeonjun’s lips. “Well, it was supposed to really end at kiss number 10. But something happened that prompted a need for one more kiss to be recorded.”

She tilted her head in question, eyes full of curiosity and urging him to go on. Yeonjun inwardly sighed; this was usually the hardest part. “Y/N, five years ago, we got into an accident and it was pretty bad but between us two, you suffered more.” He watched for any change of expression on her face before continuing. “You suffered a lot, love. Severe global amnesia, you can’t retrieve past memories and you can’t store new ones. For a long time, at least. Your new memories can only last from three days to a week.”

“Oh.”

As usual, Yeonjun waited for the woman to say more but she just stared at the book on his lap, eyes squinted as if she’s waiting for something to happen. Was she waiting for him to break out in laughter and admit it was a cruel joke? However, what she asked next surprised him.

“I still don’t understand why Kiss #11 exists...”

For the first time in a while, Yeonjun let out a genuine laugh. “You see, Y/N, the recorded eleventh kiss in the book is just a placeholder.” He gently cupped her face. “Can I kiss you?”

She blushed, her rose-colored cheeks warming his heart. Still, she managed to let out a small, “Yes.”

And same as that time in the library all those years ago, Yeonjun leaned in to the only person his lips belonged to. “This is our real Kiss #11.” The kiss was gentle, soft but was full of emotions. He smiled at the love of life. “Our first “first kiss”.” The first kiss of many years to come whenever you would wake up not remembering again.

[dreamesamu]

THE THINGS HE TAKES FOR GRANTED

in which he takes a moment to justify himself after never noticing your little crush for him

starring. msby!miya atsumu x fem!reader

genre(s): angst to fluff, long scenario sets in post-timeskip!

warning(s): reader is nice and overworks herself. not proofhead i apologize

author’s note: It's kind of not what i had imagined but hope you enjoy it.

choose your character: m. atsumu | k. akaashi

another cliché beginning for the person you are right now - the MSBY team manager - is that you’ve loved the miya atsumu since high school. it’s not like being the team’s manager isn’t your dream, you loved this job and had been dying to do it because you’ve loved volleyball, too. plus, you will have the opportunity to stay close and take care of the team, especially your crush who just merely thinks you are his best friend.

you first laid eyes on him when you were sitting alone on the subway, his dyed-blonde locks caught your attention as he first talked to you about the chase atlantic’s song you were listening to, he was cute, warm and friendly. at that moment, you were verified that he wasn’t the guy who was fond of his fan girls that everybody had been rumoring about. He eventually found out that you guys went to the same high school, so as to start a new beginning of your bonding friendship.

It wasn’t long until you finally realized that you might have adored the pretty setter a little too much than usual. his touches, his smile, the way he calls your name and his genuine characteristics when he was used to you being around seemed a little bit more easy to flutter your heart than every other day. Ever since then, you just hid your feelings and was grateful for what you got right then because you knew that if you confess, you couldn’t get this best friend treatment that you silently fell for for any longer.

You impressed yourself for even keep it until now. you and him are mature and beautiful, but you still can’t help but feel so ‘high school’ when you look at him. the least thing you could do for a friend (crush) is care for him through bottles of flavored electrolyte water, preparing his favorite after-practice snacks and even cool and soft towels to calm the heat down after a match. However, it seems like mr. miya doesn’t notice all of the hard work you did for him, he was so used to be taken care of by you that he accidentally failed to realize the special treatment only for him but nobody else.

“Hey, tired yet? you can call it a day for now if you want?” you smiled, hand over his bottle of water you prepared for him to the softly panting atsumu taking a break on the bench. He is quite preoccupied with his earlier techniques that he need to improve, he only spares you a glance then takes the bottle to drink without saying any words, you assume that he is in a bad mood.

“oh, and” you search for the thing in your bag. “here, your towel”

he nods and takes it, it makes you feel awkward. that’s… all…? You try to not overthink yourself, after all, it was quite a tense match, and the fact that your team will have an important volleyball game the next month proves his concerns are valid.

you watch atsumu leave when hinata shoyo came up to you.

“oh? isn’t that our manager?” you startle at his voice. “hehe, please don’t mind tsumu at all, please, he just got pissed because he made a mistake during practice” the sunshine grins, having him around surely just brighten everything up, because he is just so sweet and comfortable to be with.

“no, no,… I really don’t mind at all, actually” you know atsumu better than anyone so you don’t take his actions to heart sometimes, it’s just…

“oi, oi! I know what you’re thinking, I saw you overthere doing things for tsumu. This guy, honestly…” Hinata sure saw you earlier with enthusiasm written on all over your face while preparing those towels and bottles, he felt bad for you and decided to cheer you up regardless atsumu has just cracked your poor heart a little.

“It’s okay, hinata. thank you for checking on me!” you smile wide, so my efforts wasn’t invalidated at all, gratefully bow down to see the awkward hinata trying to stutter words out.

“no- no, don’t do that, you are our manager, that’s just nothing! besides, seeing you give tsumu so special treatment makes me real jealous!!” he huffs cutely. “I really want that flavored electrolyte water, too! what a shame he wouldn’t notice.”

you laugh sheepishly as you guys return to your dorms to rest. things have been going hard for you like crazy, the work amount weighing on your shoulders make it almost unbearable, but you still stay strong and put a warm smile on your face so nobody would notices. you have been thinking of retiring just in case the situation just got worse to the level of destroying your mental health. but, by thinking of your small joy of seeing atsumu everyday, you hesitated.

your sleepless nights start when the important games take a step closer, you overworked yourself and often feel burnt out, your time with atsumu narrows as you find it hard to start a conversation even in lunch break. atsumu does feel weird. why isn’t y/n sit with us? she is nowhere to be found these days.

“hey, tsum-tsum” said bokuto. “what do you think of y/n?” he said, putting a tray of food on the table while making his way to sit.

“y/n? what’s with her?” the fake blond raises a brow, munching on his food

“I think she’s so cute and thoughtful, base on her affection for you, i betcha she’s completely smitten” the owl laughs as the other teammates giggle along. “you should consider on dating her, what a waste if you don’t, she’s literally girlfriend material, same thoughts huh, hinata?” he winks and the tangerine head give him back a thumbs up.

“dating y/n, huh?” atsumu laughs as if he doesn’t take bokuto’s statements seriously. “I don’t date my friends, you know. besides, y/n is just a close friend of mine, she ain’t my type”

“heartless tsumu… she worked so hard for you these days…” hinata fake crying when talking about you

“I know that she makes snacks and does things for me, but sometimes, that’s just unnecessary, i don’t need it to be all the damn time, it feels a little annoying, i just need to be alone to refresh my thoughts” he sighs. “now you told me to consider on dating her, i wouldn’t know how long i can take it.”

now there is dead silence following his statement, everybody just awkwardly continues finishing their lunch, and you do know eavesdropping is a thing that you shouldn’t do. but you did. before you even notice, hot streams cover your face and you feel your breath hitches. the coach sends you to check on the team at such wrong timing, you can’t face them, the voices earlier destroy your confidence, replace it with angst and hurt. so… what i did is just a bother to him, huh. you realize now, that you were such a dumbass trying to make him catch feeling by all of this. and with the tiniest amount of pride left, you back up a smile and step into the cafeteria, the atmosphere suddenly feels tense as everybody hasn’t been moving on since their last conversation, atsumu feels an uneasy feeling when he sees you behind him, guilt? he thinks.

“hey… coach sent me to check up on you guys, please be well rested at your dorms after lunch, we have practice match at 2pm, alright?” your voice evidently trembles, you try cover it up with some fake coughs. oh, who are you kidding? it’s atsumu miya we’re talking about. he first notices how your eyes are a bit swollen, have you been crying? your tired figure due to sleepless nights, the way you haven’t eaten properly shows right in front of his eyes. he suddenly felt a twinge in his heart, in which moment he never wanted to see you like this, ever again. but, what’s all this for? he doesn’t like you… right? because- you’re his best friend, and caring is what’s best friends do, am I correct?

you left the cafeteria. atsumu feels like his whole head is going to explode, he regrets what he said earlier, knowing seventy per cent that you might have listened to it. he is weak because of guilt and distaste. the group feels uneasy and moody all of a sudden.

“i haven’t told you this before but you’ve seen her now, tsumu… she overworked herself with this huge amount of work with nobody beside her, yet she still maintaining to take care of you with these small gestures.” hinata sighs heavily. “y/n told me not to tell you about her state so you can concentrate on practising, but I’m really worried because now she can’t even hide it anymore. I tried to help, but she pushed me away and told me that i should do my own practices as our game is going to start soon.”

hinata pats atsumu’s back before leaving as if he’s signalling him to make it up to you. atsumu started to cry at this point. how could he be so clueless? he didn’t even know that his best friend was undergoing such pressure, yet why does the term “best friend” sound so irritating? he felt like he had failed to protect you and worse, hurting your feelings and he regretted it, so badly.

The following day comes, atsumu's first task is to search for you. To his astonishment, you are once more nowhere to be found. he was so preoccupied, his spikes aren’t as good, and he could not concentrate on practising, the coach sent him out, and gave him a moment to rethink by himself. and so, he reaches a staff, asking for information about you.

“Y/n? oh… she’s at the infirmary, we noticed her devastated state so we sent her to the doctor a while ago. now think about it I might write a report to the coach asking him to reduce the amount of work she’s handling.”

“thank you, kind sir. may I be the one who’ll write the report? I’m sure I could convince the coach.”

as the man nods, atsumu bowed goodbye to him and sprints to the infirmary where you’re at. he knows, that if anybody should write a report for you, it must be him. he must protect you because he has just realised it now, he likes you a lot more than he could imagine.

“Y/N!” atsumu slams the door open, he faces you with your eyes widened, startled by the bright window.

“tsumu…?” you softly speak.

atsumu in front of your eyes is the atsumu who tries to hold back his tears, biting his bottom lip as the poor heart lurching somewhere in his stomach but somehow still happy because he has found you.

“hey…” he kneels down on one knee beside you. “i’m sorry, angel” his hand softly squishes the smaller one, it holds back gently on his’

in all of the things you dislike, what you utterly don’t want to deal with is your emotions when you see atsumu looking so vulnerable like this. you instinctually grab a tissue and wipe off the sweat drop on his forehead the moment you see it, atsumu’s worried expression won’t vanish unless you speak up something.

“hey…” you smile. “don’t worry, I’m okay now, tsumu” you fondly touch his face with a hand, and he sinks in your touch, eyes glittering. atsumu intentionally plants a soft kiss on your warm palm and watches you go weak for him.

“i like you, y/n” he sighs. “i don’t want us to be just friends. i want to protect you, want to be the kind of guy who mentally support his girl to help her cope with any pressure.”

he looks up to see your widened eyes, without a response, he continues.

“i’m sorry i said the things i didn’t mean when you were there, I was just…" he gulps nervously and you sigh.

"tsumu... if it's too much for you to bear, maybe i should stop doing those things, okay?" you scoff bitterly, he becomes panic

“no, no, no,... i really like the way you care for me, please, i want your attention. please keep doing it. don’t get tired of me…”

you can feel the pulse bumping in your nerves, your heart flutters, and blood rushes into your cheeks just by hearing his confession. you kneel down beside him, fighting back the tears but then you can’t, so you squish him in a hug. atsumu holds you back as you start sobbing on his white shirt, inhales fondly your intoxicating smell and pats rhythmically on your back

“there, there, my angel. i’m here now. i’m sorry i’m late. let me make this up for you, yeah?” he chuckles.

atsumu loves his girlfriend. after hearing you ramble about your tight schedule, he immediately writes a report based on your experience to inform the coach about your condition so that everyone can share in your responsibilities instead of you having to handle everything alone. it wasn’t that long for the msby mates to realize you guys are together, he wrote in that report that he is your boyfriend, anyway.

“you nailed it, tsumu-kun” hinata bumps him with a thumbs up, atsumu responds with a sheepish grin while bokuto laughs beside him and sakusa just doesn’t really give a shit. 

he spots you standing on the opposite road near the brand new cafe, waving back to him smiling, “nah, gotta run. gonna treat my girlfriend with extra pastry today.”

i guess he is the simp now.

© 2024 dreamesamu. all rights reserved.

a recommendation to cope with your broken heart <3

[buckevantommy]

tommy surprised buck with their 1st kiss. buck surprised tommy with their 2nd kiss. for their 3rd kiss i'd love to see it be a mutual thing where they both know it's going to happen; there's just something about that moment of knowing before lips meet - the anticipation - and i want so badly to see that on both their faces.

[terezicaptor]

fit passes out after being drugged in 2b2t by someone who says they have a bounty out for bringing him to a certain person alive and theyre getting paid more than anyone could ever imagine and hes fucking terrified bc what the fuck do they want with him

and when he wakes up hes in pacs arms and pac is like. erm. sorry about that. but people do not respond positively if u say ur trying to get ur bf back here ^^ so i had to make u think horrible things were gonna happen to u. oops

[cheeseceli]

The Only Good Thing

Pairing: idol Hueningkai × Gn!reader

Genre: hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, fic (1k words)

Prompt: “aren't you the sweetest thing on this side of hell”

Warnings: scenes of overworking, brief panic attack, mentions of insecurities

A/n: because my boy deserves better | daily click

Did I ever tell you I'm not doing well?

Hueningkai should probably calm down. Sweating palms, accelerated heartbeat and a darkened vision isn't exactly the best state he has ever been in. He feels like he's losing it lately.

The pressure of the media, the hatred comments coming from all places at once and the high expectations make his life a living hell. For God's sake, even the compliments feel like daggers. Everything feels backhanded and it's tiring. It's exhausting and he has no idea of how long he can take that for.

But when he sees his members get up and continue practice, he feels a little bit dumbfounded. They suffer that too, don't they? Why do they look okay? Hueningkai feels like he will break if he does as much as getting up, so how are the members so... well?

Is he exaggerating his situation? Maybe that's why the comments say he's burdening the group?

He gets up slowly and trying his best to just not burst into tears. He needs to take it. He needs to keep going.

So he does.

Oh I try, I try, I try, but it takes over my life

Maybe he's doing too much now.

It's been five hours since practice ended. Well, technically. It's been five hours since the rest of the boys left. But for hueningkai, this is just the start of the night.

He feels like he needs to do more. Everyone seems to agree on this, at least. On the fact that he is not enough. He truly doesn't want to leave the group - it's his home, his family and his dream. So the only possible outcome is for him to become worthy of it. So he will try as much as he can, even more than that.

And if it consumes him, well, it's a price to pay, isn't it?

His vision was still dark. He couldn't see properly, so that's probably the reason why he was so lost. Almost losing himself.

He also didn't notice how his cell phone was exploding with notifications. His members asking why he was taking so long to come back to the dorm and you asking where he was.

The gates to get out of hell were open, but he couldn't see amidst his hazy mind.

Dear angel;

It was around 2am when he heard the door to the practice room open and then Kai finally stopped his repeated movements. Standing with all your glory, even with a tired look into your face, you entered the room. If it wasn't for the timing, he could've sworn the sun had just reached its highest point on sky.

"Y/n? What are you doing here?"

"The boys called me a few times. All of them. They were worried because you didn't go home, so they thought you could be with me."

That would've been a way better idea, if he's being honest. It would've gave him the opportunity to sleep peacefully for at least a night before having to face the horrors of life in the morning. But he couldn't have this luxury, could he now?

"I had to practice a bit more. I told them that."

"Well, 'a bit more' is usually just an hour. It's not seven hours after the practice had ended. It's damn late now, Kai."

He looked out of the window. It was very dark outside.

"Why did you come here at this time? It's pitch black outside, something could've happened."

"A friend of mine lent me his car. That's how I came and that's how we'll be going back home."

"I still need to-"

"You need to sleep, Kai. To rest. Working until your bones fall off won't be of any help. Besides, Yeonjun told me you were doing just fine in the practice, why are you training so hard?"

"Because 'just fine' isn't enough" you heard his voice break at that. Everything in him was showing signs of an upcoming collapse. You had no idea of how long he'd be able to take in like that "I need to do better."

He looked at the floor, trying to breathe calmly. He was so focused on dancing before that he didn't feel anything, but now his body was so tired he felt like his knees would give up anytime soon. He already feels like he disappointed so many people, he can't disappoint you. Especially not you.

Even when looking down, he heard your footsteps get closer to him until he felt your hands on his cheeks. His body was extremely hot out of all that practice. The urgency of needing him to rest was just growing by the minute.

"Kai" he still didn't look at you. You knew he felt too ashamed to do so "Kai, please. You are such a good artist. A great one. You put your entire soul into your work and it's beautiful to see. Don't feel like you have to change that."

"I know some people who would disagree."

"I can guarantee you that those people have never seen a video of yours. They had never heard you sing. They are here only to hate because that's the only thing they know how to do. If they did pay attention to anything you ever did, they would fall in love with you. Just like your fans did. Like the boys and I did."

At this point, he couldn't take it anymore. Slowly, Kai gave up to your touch and rested his head on your shoulder, not caring anymore if he was crying or not.

"Let's go home, okay?"

You just felt his head nod in the crook of his neck. He felt that he was still lost in that hell of a maze, but at least now there was an angel willing to guide him through the exit. And God, how he wished he could get out soon enough and just be with you and your light.

Aren't you the sweetest thing on this side of hell?

Please consider donating to the Palestine fundraiser that is currently going on. You help people and as a bonus you can request a fic! How cool is that honestly

Thank you for reading 🖤

Masterlist | you'll probably like: Proud

Taglist (open!): @yuyubeans

Credits for images 1 2 and 3 | Dividers by @thecutestgrotto

[tyungelic]

★ my love, mine all mine

Nothing is certain in this world.

This is something you know for sure; the realization hit particularly hard when lay-offs were happening at your job and you were the first to be on the chopping block.

You spent days stuck in bed, miserable and unsure of what to do next, staring blankly ahead with tired eyes. You'd worked your ass off for years just to be reminded that you're easily replaceable. You loved your job, that love clearly wasn't returned.

But Taehyun... Oh, your sweet Taehyun.

No one loves you, takes your hand and leads you out of the darkness, like Taehyun does.

Taehyun sits on the bed, alongside you and your grief. He rubs your back as you sob for what feels like hours. You still get embarrassed when you cry in front of him, even after all these years, but he doesn't mind. He's seen you in moments much worse than this, bent over a toilet vomiting after a bad night out, or when you pushed him away because you thought you weren't good enough... You still don't think you're good enough for him, but what he said to you that night reverberates through your head in times like these.

"That's for me to decide. I want to stay, so let me stay with you, Y/N. Please."

He wants to stay.

There's nothing you want more than for him to stay.

"Taehyun," you call for your boyfriend, voice quiet and pleading.

"Honey?" he responds warmly.

"C-Can you hold me?"

He doesn't give a verbal answer, but the sudden shifting of the bed and his strong, warm arms around you give you all the answer you need. You close your eyes and suddenly, you're crying all over again.

You're so thankful for him, so thankful you have each other.

[ryxiez]

Not A Walk In the Park

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

Genera ➛ angst (no part 2 yet)

Pairing ➛ idol!Yeonjun x nonidol!reader

Word Count ➛ 1.05k

Warnings ➛ swearing, yelling, belittling the reader, (other angst stuff). Nicknames like baby and my love.

AN: I don’t see myself writing a second part any time soon, so for now it’s going to be left open ended

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

Fighting wasn't a usual occurrence between the two of you. Communication was something you both valued. You guys even took pride in being good at ever since your relationship started. However, that fact didn't seem to apply to today.

Things were said that either neither of you meant, the words thrown around almost as if they meant nothing. But, the sting was real.

It happened to be a long day for you, wanting nothing more than to curl up into your boyfriends arms for the rest of the night and sleep. It always helped you forget the rest of the world for a while when he would hold you tight.

On the other hand, Yeonjun seemed to have extremely different plans.

He himself had a long day but his consisted of constant vocal and dance rehearsal. He just wanted some time to himself to think. Not about anything in particular yet everything at the same time.

However, Yeonjun had trouble vocalizing that today. He was overstimulated and didn't know how to explain was he was feeling in sensible words. As a result things took an awkward turn.

You pushed the door to your shared apartment quickly, throwing your bag aside and kicking off your shoes like you usually do, letting out a deep sigh.

Yeonjun sat with his back to you on the couch, he had his hands in his lap and his head held down. His long black hair covering the look on his face. The news channel was on, but the volume was on mute, something that was very unusual.

To you it looked like your boyfriend could use some cuddles. Maybe you were a bit bias because you wanted them yourself, but when you threw your arms around him from behind, you thought nothing more of it.

On the other hand, he became agitated immediately, his posture straightening back up fast as he reached around himself to push you away.

"Baby?... What's the matter my love?" You were confused when you asked, walking around to the other side of the couch so you could see his face clearly.

You tried to reach out for his hands that were again placed in his lap balled up into fists, wanting to hold them for reassurance. But his face scrunched up in disgust.

He harshly swatted away your hands, "Why do you always have to be so fucking clingy all the time... jeez!" He said loudly with an exaggerated sigh as he stood up from the couch.

"Excuse me?" You asked defensively, your own emotions starting to bubble up as you took a step back from his towering figure.

"You heard me. Just fuck off and leave me alone, I'm tired. I don't need you making it worse like you always do." He grumbled, now walking away from you.

Now it was your turn to be upset, he couldn't just say things like that and expect everything to be all okay.

"Your not the only one who gets to have hard days around here Mr. 'I'm more Important"' you shot back.

You had to admit, you were being childish, but it was hard to think rationally when all your feelings started crumbling. You were only trying to be nice and this is how he repays you?

"See! There you go again, blaming me for everything! Last time I checked, your not the idol around here. You just work some god damn low life job and get away with it because your in a relationship with me." He yelled, rolling his eyes and continuing to walk to your shared bedroom. He slammed the door shut without another word.

You groaned in frustration after the loud slam reverberated through the house, he's never raised his voice at you before let alone insult you like that.

You didn't want to think anymore once you felt the tears already start to fill your water line. You knew you had to leave, at least for the night, swearing that you would suffocate if you stayed there any longer.

Putting on your shoes quickly, your adrenaline running fast, you made your way out of the apartment. you couldn't think straight as thoughts flooded your mind.

'I'm I annoyingly clingy?' 'Does he really think I'm just using him for money?' 'Does he think he's actually that much better than me?' And worst of all... 'Did he fall out of love?'

Letting your feet take the lead and your brain take a back row seat, you had no idea where you were going.

You had nowhere to go. Nobody to run to. You uprooted your whole life for Yeonjun, moving away from your family and friends so you both could find a place closer to his own job at the studio. He was the only safe space you knew., but he went and threw it all away with just a few words.

It was getting dark, but by now you had an idea of where you wanted to go. There was a park a few blocks away, a very beautiful one at that. One that you had many dates at with Yeonjun, but that's besides the point.

By the time you made it there, you weren't running anymore. Tears stained your cheeks and you were out of breath. You don't remember letting them fall because you tried to hold them back, but you felt better getting them out.

Finding a secluded bench, in the corner of a small flower field, you felt a little bit better curling up onto it. Your knees curled into your chest as the small lamp on the path illuminated the flowers around you. They calmed you momentarily until a sob escaped your throat when you remembered why you were here in the first place.

- To Be Continued

Taglist: @uno7 …

[buggiewhump]

I'm sorry, but I'm absolutely enamored with the idea of Ramon pulling this on Bullfrog to soothe him to sleep; particularly whenever he's having trouble falling asleep or just outright refuses to. Bullfrog wasn't able to protect his other comrades, and something tells me he doesn't want to lose anyone else and is willing to miss out on sleep if it meant keeping Ramon safe. Little does he know that Ramon can be just as stubborn, if not more-so.

Doing this to a frog puts them in a very vulnerable position, but I think Bullfrog would come to a point where he trusts Ramon and wouldn't have the heart to be too upset once he wakes up. Even if it was a bit of a nasty trick to pull, the intentions were sweet. <3

[jungkookslipring]

Everybody Hurts

pairings: bff!Beomgyu + bf!Yeonjun x reader

genre: hurt/comfort

tw: mental health struggles, crying

Whoever said everything happens for a reason can kindly fuck off. Cause whether there’s a reason or not everything hurt. No words could comfort you in this time in your life with all that’s going on. The weight of the world, everything that’s happening that’s out of your control, everything you see on social media and TV, trying to ignore it for your own personal health but wanting to acknowledge it so you don’t feel ignorant. Dealing with your mental health but feeling like you can’t because “someone out there had it worse than you” makes you feel even worse. It’s all too much, and the idea of getting out of bed leaves your heart feeling heavy because you have the privilege of not wanting to leave your warm heated bed while other people in the world would give anything to have one. Checking your phone was like a game of chance because while you wanted to be on social media and check in on your friends, the chances of you seeing something heartbreaking on someone’s story were high. Any noise from your phone that indicated a message you ignored, cause you couldn’t bear to look at the screen of your phone anymore. You buried yourself further into your bed, going on day three of not speaking to anyone; your friends, your family, your partner, no one. You loved them, and you were grateful for their love but simply waking up every day was mentally and physically exhausting. You were pulled out of your thoughts when there was a knock on your door. Your pitch-black room was introduced to a sliver of light seeping through as your boyfriend and best friend poke their heads in. 

“Y/N?” A small voice said, breaking the silence. You had no energy to move, not enough to even say hello, cause once you did, it was over. 

“I tried to tell him to give you space but you know how he is,” Yeonjun slightly chuckled as Beomgyu got under the covers with you, hugging your frame tightly. You giggled when you had to blow his long hair out of your face.

“You need to cut your hair homie,” you joke as you finally move a limb to move the hair out of your face and his. 

“Never!” He whispered, knowing if he spoke above a whisper your headache would become more prominent. They’ve been wanting to see you for the past few days but because of their crazy go go go schedule they didn’t have time for phone calls or daily visits. Even when they did want to see you, you didn’t have the energy to interact with anyone, and they understood. Beomgyu, on the other hand, was stubborn and needed to see his bestie right here right now.

“What can we do for you, love?” Yeonjun asked as he went in to kiss you. They knew you were struggling mentally with everything that was going on right now, and they wanted nothing more than to just be there for you,  whether that was getting you groceries or sending you coffee money or having cuddle sessions. You didn’t know, you didn’t know how to ask for help or what they could do to help you. Yeonjun got under the covers and pulled you into his arms with Beomgyu still attached to you. 

“Are you okay, y/n?” Beomgyu asked. That was it. That was your last straw. You shook your head as you buried your face into Yeonjun’s shoulder, one hand gripping his shirt while the other clutched onto Beomgyu’s arm that was wrapped around your waist. Yeonjun kissed your forehead as your tears plopped onto his shirt, your body was shaking and all the pent-up frustrations and sadness were being let out as your boyfriend and best friend held you close. When you were reduced to just sniffles, Yeonjun wiped the tears from your cheek and whispered 

“I know I can’t take away all of your pain, but allow us to carry some of that burden for you. You don’t have to go through any of this alone. Whatever you’re going through, your feelings are valid. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, okay?” 

He read your mind so well it was kind of scary. You nodded as he held you tighter, feeling all the love warm up in your chest as the two reminded you that they were here for you.

taglist: @felixmainacc @felixburneracc @myforevermelody143 @dunno-wut-to-do

[truly-twirls]

takeout or duffle bags? - c. beomgyu

Word Count: 1,328

Warnings: Slight food mention, Relationship issues idk

Characters: Choi Beomgyu, Choi Soobin

Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Bittersweet(?) Ending

AO3 Link

🌱🌱🌱

You wanted to leave. Right here, right now.

You couldn’t stand feeling like a shadow that he walked past every single damn time. It was insulting at this point.

There was a point in time when you truly believed that your relationship was strong enough to get through thick and thin.

Beomgyu made you believe that, anyways.

Lately, you’ve seen him maybe twice a week if you’re lucky. But that was well after midnight and you were already in bed, few words were exchanged as he fell asleep immediately after changing.

He stopped leaving notes or texts for you to wake up to in the mornings, no updates throughout the day unless he was going out of town.

To be fair, you weren’t much different. You stayed in your office several hours a day, seven days a week. It used to be due to major projects coming in where you would take the lead on. Now, it’s because you couldn’t stand to sit alone in that apartment longer than you needed to.

How the hell did we get here?

Both you and Beomgyu used to text each other often, expressing each other’s excitement to share a meal, or meet each other for multiple dates throughout the month.

Nothing is ever planned anymore. Everything is last minute, quick, and most painfully: quiet.

You yearned to hear Beomgyu’s laugh, or his teasing, just something. Anything had to be better than this standoff between the two of you that seemed to have no clear beginning nor end.

However, you were not the only one suffering. You could feel it. Beomgyu was also feeling the heaviness of the atmosphere within your two-year relationship.

Beomgyu has been shutting himself in his studio, his only company being instruments and speakers at full blast. But he was rarely able to come up with anything tangible, just simple beats or verses that went nowhere.

He felt like he was slowly trickling into a puddle far below him, unable to do anything about it but watch. Words left him any time he saw you, and he watched as what the two of you built together crumbled apart.

The other members tried to reach out and understand how he was feeling but Beomgyu gave them nothing.

He gave you nothing.

He lost the ability to go to you with his worries some time ago. He wanted to come across it again, he missed being able to.

At this point in time, it appeared that neither of you had anything else to give to each other. Just solemn silence.

“Are you two going to end things?”

That was a question you heard from the members, your friends, and quite literally anyone who knew of the situation.

Of course you didn’t want to end things, that was the last thing you wanted. And you hoped Beomgyu felt the same, but your options were beginning to disappear.

Plus you weren’t sure if your heart could bear much more of this. Very few threads still connected the two of you.

You could pack a bag. You could stay with your parents for a while. You can see how life would be like without this. Without Beomgyu.

It’s not like there’s much left to miss.

“What are you doing?”

A low voice startled you from your speeding train of thought, eyes focused on the clothes that were half stuffed into a duffle bag. You looked up to see your boyfriend standing in the bedroom door frame, with a bag of takeout food in one hand and in the other was his phone, open to the text messages between the two of you.

The contact photo was a selfie Beomgyu took of the two of you a while back, he surprised you with a kiss on the cheek right as he clicked the ‘capture’ button. Recalling that memory only made your heart ache more. How could he look at that photo and still be unable to say more than ‘goodnight’ to you?

“Y/N, what’s with the bag?” This time, your boyfriend’s voice was softer, as if he was beginning to understand what he was witnessing.

~

You were halfway correct about the photo Beomgyu had selected for your contact. He adored that photo, he looked at it more times throughout the day than he’d like to admit.

Soobin caught him today looking at the photo, he could hear Beomgyu’s sobs from outside the studio’s door.

“You’re not getting anywhere looking at their photo when Y/N is at your apartment right now. They likely miss you as much as you miss them,” The sound of the leader sitting on the couch quickly fled Beomgyu’s ears as he sighed.

“It’s all I keep telling myself. They’re right here. I can’t help but feel pathetic for being like this..”

Silence filled the room for a moment, but of course, the question weighing heavy on Soobin’s tongue was obvious.

“What exactly has been—”

“I don’t think I can give Y/N more. I am all that I can be, and I don’t think that’s enough for them,” Beomgyu covered his teary eyes with his forearm, letting himself feel the weight of the world on his chest. “I can see us being together for so long, but at the same time I can see them being unhappy and never telling me.”

Beomgyu’s mind flashed back to when the two of you picked each other up from the lowest of times, wondering if you were true to your word that you’d always be there, and that you were more than happy to do so.

Soobin sat in front of Beomgyu, resting his hands on the younger member’s shoulders. And then proceeded to shake the living hell out of them.

“Wake up!! You’ve been in this spiral for how long? You know what you can do, you know that you’re able to fix this. You’re scared, Choi Beomgyu. You’re scaring yourself into isolation.”

“I don’t think I can get them back, Soobin..”

“…You should go to them. Just sit with them, because personally Beomgyu? I think you’re running out of time,” Soobin spoke up about the very fear Beomgyu, and you as well, had been dwelling on for the past weeks.

~

The bag of takeout crinkled from how much Beomgyu’s hand was shaking. He processed one thing at a time.

There was an open duffle bag on the bed. That bag had clothes in it, your clothes. And you. You were looking at Beomgyu with desperation and guilt.

“Are you done, Y/N? Is this it? Are we done? I mean… What is this?…”

“Beomgyu.. I..” You ran a hand through your hair, huffing.

“It’s the last thing I want. But how much longer could we have done this?”

“I didn’t mean for this to go on so long, I needed time to think and.. I don’t know—”

“What did you think I needed? The silence? The isolation? I just wanted you, Beomgyu!” Tears were threatening to start rolling down your face, you just felt so angry at this point. Any other emotion was exhausted by you throughout the past weeks.

“Y/N. I’m sorry. I truly am… Do you want to talk now? Over some good food?” A somber smile met Beomgyu’s cheeks as he lifted up the bag of takeout that is likely to be cold soon.

Your mind was going between the tied plastic bags and your duffle bag, going between how you’re night was going to go.

Are you truly ready to talk about everything?

You finally met Beomgyu’s eyes, the tension was thick and the stakes were high. This was a relationship you both cherished and wanted to fix, tonight is just the first step into reaching the comforting endearment the two of you have shared for so long.

You walked up to your boyfriend, taking the takeout bags from his hands, and made your way to the living room for a late-night dinner.

🌱🌱🌱

[niningtori]

violets are blue | preview

it’s a bearable sort of pain, but it’s still painful, nonetheless. bearable is a very loose term, too, because you know if and when things continue as they are, you will no longer be able to write your symptoms off so casually. and as you lean over beomgyu’s toilet and watch purple petals stained with crimson red blood swirling down the drain, you know it won’t be long before your pain crosses from “bearable” to “hellish”.

still, you manage to flush the evidence of your dying heart and take a good look at yourself in the mirror. your lips are nice and bloody, your makeup nice and smudged. you calmly take out the emergency mouthwash and makeup from your bag and get to work. after you’re finished tidying up, it’s almost like nothing ever happened. with a shaky smile and slightly reddened eyes, you leave his bathroom and prepare for the worst.

and the worst, it is. you just so happen to walk in to beomgyu’s living room while he plants a kiss on his girlfriend’s cheek as she giggles like mad. suddenly, your chest hurts even more than it already did and you find it hard to breathe. well, back to the bathroom you go.

notes: hanahaki au ✈️ incoming.

if you would like to be tagged in this work, please lmk! if you would like to join the taglist for any of my other works, please join here!

[losersimonriley]

me when the “it was supposed to be a simple mission” line pops up

[dreamesamu]

THE THINGS HE TAKES FOR GRANTED

in which he takes a moment to justify himself after never noticing your little crush for him

starring. akaashi keiji x fem!reader

genre(s): angst to fluff, (super, like-) long scenario 

warning(s): none, i think so? except for clueless keiji and not proof-reading

author’s note: akaashi is just a major green flag in this (every haikyu!! boy is 😭) i feel too bad to write them red-flag-y.

choose your character: m. atsumu | k. akaashi

you’ve known akaashi for quite some time, starting from your last year of fukurodani academy and then serendipity brought you both ended up being each other’s classmate at a same college/university. bokuto kotaro was your best friend, the little owl introduced his favorite setter to you and the friendship of three gradually become established, and as if it can not be any more inevitably, you eventually developed a secret admiration for the pretty setter when you three have been closed enough. however, graduating separated ways, kotaro pursued his journey to become professional in volleyball while keiji, once said to you he wanted a place in the literature department.

truth be told, even if you promised each other you would still keep in touch and plan every weekend friend group meeting online or offline, you’ve never expect you would share every class in higher education life with your crush, the akaashi keiji. the great thing is you both are paired up for an presentation assignment in the major you and him pursue, you do have plenty of time to stay close and grab his attention from making gestures that he usually failed to realizes.

here you are again, happily humming your favourite song while carrying a box wrapped with a small detailed towel, some big rolls of assignment paper stuck underneath your arm as you make your way back to where you both planned to finish the project - the library. 

“keiji, i’m back!” you set your things respectively on the table, and akaashi nods with a smile on his face in acknowledgement.

“oookay, so here’s your today’s snack, I hope you’ll like it” you grin, tapping on the box before pushing it to his side as he receives it and casually opens it while speaking.

“hmm? are those sketches of our poster? you can always edit them on the computer, why the effort?” he chuckled softly before completely unwrapping the bento box.

“I’m not good at designing and stuff. I may draw as I like and you’ll be the one to edit it on the computer.” you puff your cheek out, hands resting on hips as you watch his reaction to your delicately decorated sweets in the box made for him.

“this looks amazing.” he smiles upon seeing the pastries you made, decorated beautifully with different kinds of fruit as each pastry has different flavours, you probably did not stay up so late last night just to make all kinds of flavours for him to show how much you like him. yeah, probably not.

"oh, it's nothing, I just hope it doesn't taste bad" you chuckle nervously while scratching the back of your neck, letting his praise send you up to cloud nine.

your actions falter when you see akaashi put back the box's cap on, set it aside as he leans over to reach the posters you drew.

"now then, can we start working on the project?" he spreads out the piece of paper, glancing at you as you stand there awkwardly, prefer him taking a bite to look through all of your efforts than just shrugging it off and go straight to the main part of your study session.

"what...? oh- um..." you trail off, a bit embarrassed. "wouldn't you like to try one out? it won't hurt to just have a taste of it..."

"maybe later, y/n. we have other things need to be done right now." he merely states, eyes study the poster in front of him, unknowingly sinking your heart.

"yes, right." you shift slightly, taking the sit by the opposite of him, trying to catch up with him on the progress.

you let your mind wanders off how many times you've lost count already while akaashi quietly focused on scribbling something in his notebook, every thoughts you have are always about keiji, your feelings and the stare you give him thinking it's discreet. what's stopping him from trying my tarts out? and how does he feel being around me? or is that his way of rejecting something without making that person feel bad? flooded your mind.

"y/n?" you realize his faint voice ringing somewhere "y/n..." the voice becomes clearer. "earth to y/n, you're staring." awh, snap. right.

you blink, startled before clearing your throat, mumbling a small apology as you try to get yourself busy with the work underneath you once again.

but akaashi just chuckles, his voice calm and reassuring.

"hey, you seem off today. it's lunch break, please make yourself comfortable." you fumble at his words, it's noon already? as he collects his books and tidy it up at one corner of the table before speaking again.

"yuri satsuki is inviting me to have lunch with her. would you like to also join? i think she wouldn't mind." he kindly offers, probably not knowing the words struck you shocked.

you know satsuki-senpai, she's a year older than you and has been a social butterfly ever since you set foot in student life. she is a nice person, you conceived, but not until you found out that she has a huge crush on your akaashi keiji, her behaviour in your eyes became somewhat annoying. in return, she did realize she had a rival to win over him, you acknowledge that through the smug look she gave every time akaashi was around her instead of you, that is how the tension gradually builds up between you and your pain-in-the-ass rival.

and now she's even invited keiji for lunch? you feel an uncomfortable twist in your belly, screaming that if you do not take further actions, you lose akaashi to her. but his way of discarding your hard work, also known as an attempt to get his attention earlier discourages you hastily. this comes to a realization: ever since he start hanging out with satsuki-senpai, he has never touched one of your cooks once.

"no, i'm fine staying here. you go" you force a smile waving him goodbye. he hesitates upon seeing the downward trend of your mood as well as the strange attitude every time he brings up yuri.

"what are you waiting for?" you scoff, trying your best to make it sound not so bitterly. he nods quietly before ruffles your hair, thoughtfully remind you to get something to eat before start working again, and he'll be back with you soon.

you groan for the nth time in thirty minutes since his last leave, deciding not to eat anything at all after you laugh bitterly to yourself seeing the bento box laid cold by his stuffs which corrects your thoughts that he is not going to appreciate what you did for him.

the chair scraped the floor when you stand up, attempting to compose yourself when you feel your brain need a break from overthinking such situations.

on the way out of the library, your eyes meet yuri satsuki's, assuming that keiji is just somewhere around here as his lunch break partner is the person you least excited to bump into.

"well, well. isn't that the girl whose best friend choose to hang out with me instead of her?"

excuse me?

"don't get too ahead of yourself, satsuki-senpai. just a friendly reminder" your tone evidently irritated as you flash her an unamused smile, trying to avoid her as soon as possible.

but the radio scene of her voice replayed all over your head, your mind goes muddy despite the fresh air you're trying to take in, you let out a shaky breath, tears brimming out.

maybe, he doesn't quite noticed the things I did for him after all...

---

"you're back. where were you?" akaashi worried tone surprises you after a quite fine time of trying to find you because your study desk in the library was empty.

"i was... out for fresh air. why?" your voice is off and he noticed that. he always knew when something is bothering you, and right now he definitely know that something is wrong.

"after i finished my lunch i got yours, 'cause i know when i'm back you would still hadn't eaten anything." his brows slightly furrow seeing your avoiding attitude.

"thanks, keiji." you said briefly, take the package from his hand and sit down on your seat, never forget to notice the pastry box still intact.

your strange attitude didn't just stop there, it confuses akaashi for a more couple of days of your avoidance, he dislike the way you put a small distance between you both in study sessions, you flinch and tense around him more often, your answers and conversations are brief and sometimes awkward as you seem to be more preoccupied and attentive rather than to communicate with him.

"good morning, y/n." he smiles, your state has been bothering him for days as he is paying attention to your fade grin and a small "hey" as a greet back.

then he fumbles. something is missing...

oh. but then, realization sets in him quite quickly: you didn't bring any homemade sweets today.

"y/n..." he hesitates, meeting your eyes as you lift your head up from the notebook you're scribbling on. "does your home perhaps... out of ingredients or something?"

you are stunned for a moment, knowing exactly what he was trying to imply, scared to look at him directly in the eye as you shift your gaze elsewhere, pretending to have forgotten.

"oh... you mean the pastries... I forgot to do it. I was busy yesterday"

lies. he see through it, you know that, but you can't just blurt it all out that you're heartbreaking because of his indirect rejection that never says he doesn't like you, but makes you feel like it did.

"hey... i know something is wrong, can you tell me what it is?"

there it is - the worried look on such handsome face that never fails to make your heart flutter. but you know, that is just his nature of being an attentive and thoughtful person, not just for only you, but for everyone in his orbit.

so his question remained unanswered.

akaashi has been extremely distracted due to the sudden lack of your affection on him. it's just doesn't feel the same. even if he refuses it but deep down, he misses your midday snacks, your bubbly laugh around him and that flushed cheeks you wear every time he caught you staring. it has been a whole week since, and the fact that you didn't join the friend group video call with bokuto last sunday was his last straw.

he misses you, dearly. and if he doesn't do anything now before your project is finished, he might find it difficult to approach you even when you are his best friend.

and then, on an another lovely morning in the college's campus, an emotion he thinks he's aware of stirring in his stomach at the scene of you handing out a bento box wrapped with the same detailed towel, a small smile tugs at the corner of your lips as the other boy laughs lightly, scratches his neck, sending regards with a polite bow before making his way back in the classroom, akaashi doesn't like what his eyes have witnessed, so when he met yours, the bitterful look sends shivers down your spine.

you turn away, begin to walk, you do not want to deal with your bothered heart right now, not if it has anything to do with him, with that thought, you choose to neglect it because it is just your one-sided feelings for him.

but you hear footsteps behind, next is a small "wait" escaped from his lips when he managed to catch up and hold gently on your arm. that stopped you midtrack.

"please. can we talk?" he pleads.

---

you find yourself trapped by his presence in a corner of the school's library. there's no point in avoiding now.

"i'm sorry." he states. "i like you, i should've known."

your eyes widen. why- all of a sudden?

akaashi glances at you, softly sighs before bring your hand up to his face and kiss your knuckles gently.

"i understand now, i was clueless, you have the very right to be mad at me." each sentences he speaks crack your heart, but at the same time, they give you hope.

you neither know how to react, nor what to say, you just stand there, completely speechless, it encourages him to continue his speech of pursuing you.

"the last time i went to have lunch with satsuki, she confessed to me." he stopped, watching your expression. "but i turned her down, then, she got angry and started to brag about you. i did not like what she said, so i got quite defensive and... that was when i realised."

"i didn't know when it started. i just knew that i didn't feel very comfortable seeing you bringing your pastries that was meant for me to someone else, and more it's because i didn't appreciate it."

he squeezes your hand, afraid if not, you'll slip from his grip and become somebody else's apple. he certainly dislikes the thought.

"i want your pastries back, i love them as much as i love you. please let me correct such a terrible mistake."

---

"yes, hello. i've received the box, thank you, my love."

akaashi spins his office chair slightly, softly speaking to the phone stuck between his cheek and shoulder with a smile while unwrapping a huge warm box of freshly baked tarts.

"keiji, bad news, i'm out of powdered sugar after that batch." your voice echoed on output, he chuckles.

"are you free after work? we can visit the supermarket to purchase some. i'll drive, consider this a date with me, 'mkay?"

© 2024 dreamesamu. all rights reserved.

[buckevantommy]

anyone else after some angsty feels and bad parents buckley vibes? the episode is bookended by buck's parents being disappointed in him: not only is he late for the wedding he's missing the groom and threw a messy bachelor party the groom didn't want - and if he hadn't thrown it he would've realised chimney was missing/unwell a lot sooner. then it ends with buck taking focus off his sister once again with an attention grabbing move of bringing a male date to the hospital who he was clearly just making out with. *shake their heads*

[phleb0tomist]

had an ecg today and the nurse accidentally clipped one of the metal clips to the vulnerable flesh of my chest instead of to the electrode sticky pad. and i had to maintain a blank expression for coolness reasons while i waited for her to have a free moment to save me. bear in mind i’m boobs out this entire time. there’s no punchline to this story btw this is just what happened to me today