#ugh ok anyways im getting sappy

[mik-arts]

I was feeling some sort of way about my tinkering artificer I named Flora who has taken to creating mechanical things that mimic nature

[anachronistic-falsehood]

OK OK OK. i have to run some errands but i am also thinking abt this soo much now so im gonna type out this ask over the course of like the next hour in between things while im thinkin abt it. so i hope its not completely incomprehensible

OK ALEX KNIGHT OF VOID. i was not able to convince a friend abt him bc they are dead set on him being a prince of blood. whcih. shoutout to jonesy for that one because thats ALSO a really good classpect for him. ough. anyway anyway. the reason he is knight of void to me. hear me out this is my void player alex propaganda. void is. lack. void is nothing in the most literal sense. what does alex do. he disappears. thats what kicks off the whole fucking thing right !! alex disappears seemingly without a trace and jay goes looking for him. personally i see the operator as an embodiment of void in the homestuck sense. it takes things, it makes things disappear, it erases memories and redacts information and erases all sense of self in a person and thats how it wins. (theres an argument to be made that it could also be space coded with all the warping around and distortions and things but thats a whole other conversation its void propaganda time now) and alex becomes the one most closely associated with the operator. maybe tim was the source yeah but alex is the one who had the most direct contact with it the entire time. hes a knight because he protects nothing yeah (REALLY good interpretation btw. he thinks hes protecting something but there's nothing there.) but he was also corrupted into protecting the things the operator wanted (burning the tapes, getting rid of evidence, killing everyone associated, etc.) void 2 me is the opposite of light; where light deals in the acquisition of knowledge and understanding, void is the unknown and the unfamiliar and unclear

AND THAT BRINGS US TO. HEIR OF LIGHT JAY. FUCK. hes so heir coded. he didnt ask for this, he wasnt at all involved until alex offered to give him the tapes. he inherited the tapes from alex (who then stole them back and burnt them, void player behavior btw) . jay is soooooo. eye avatar coded also. i dont think youve listwned to tma yet but I know ive talked abt tma entities to u in passing before. ugh it makes me so insane. jay becomes obsessed with knowledge, with uncovering the mysteries, he HAS to Know whats happening. to the point where it becomes unhealthy. if i remember correctly one of the powers of an heir is to become their aspect (john when he turns into wind (?) ) and at a certain point jay . becomes light. in more ways than one if you want to be sappy about it (i do. i want to be sappy about it.) he becomes the knowledge, he becomes the information, his camera is an extention of his body, he's the sole provider of the events of mh through the youtube channel (and when tim picks it up its only because he feels like he needs to finish what jay started) . BUT ALSO. jay becomes . sort of a beacon for the whole thing. hoodie/brian are contacting *jay.* not alex, not tim. alex is hunting down jay for the tapes before tim even gets involved. dont even get me STARTED on jay and tim they make me fucking nuts. they only had each other. say what you will about the unhealthiness of their whole thing but jay was a light in the darkness for tim. he was hiding from everything, ignoring all of his problems and nothing was getting fixed, jay pulled him out of that kicking and screaming and even though they both got SO fucked up in the process ultimately tim escaped and jay was the light that led him out of the tunnel (< pun very much intended. fuck that tunnel). im kind of getting off on a tangent here sorry ive been reading a lot of fics i love them .

HEART PLAYER TIM. HOO BOY. now . hear me out. i know what you may be thinking. "mac you cannot just assign heart players to your favorite characters that is just you projecting." ITS NOT. OK. I JUST HAVE A TYPE WHEN IT COMES TO FAVORITE CHSRACTERS and that type Just So Happens to be full of fucking heart players. anyway. hear me out. tim. cares. so much. tim cares SO much for other people. the onlt reason he pushes people away is because he thinks it will protect them from him because he is so very full of guilt all the time and blames himself for infecting everyone. but he FUCKING CARES. and that i think is a huge huge huge heart player trait. maybe they are not the most pleasant people in the world maybe theyre huge raging assholes that will never admit it (cough cwilbur cough dirk) but DEEP DOWN (sometimes not actually all that deep down) heart players care about their friends so much that it hurts. however. heart players also tend to be super selfish <3 and tim is a knight. so . he protects. he protexts the people he cares about by trying to get them away from him. he also DIRECTLY protects the people he cares about (looking @ the scene in entry 72 hwre he directly stands face to face with the operator in order to protect jay. fuck that is one of my favorite scenes in the whole fucking thing. ) BUT HE IS ALSO SUPER SELFISH. he protects himself. he thinks hes protecting himself by shutting everyone out. he goes off on his own because he thinks thats the safest option. dont even get me STARTED on masky becausde i have a lot of complicated masky thoughts and this is already so very long. but like. u get the idea.

OK FINALLY. BRIAN. MAN. brian makes me so so so sad. doomed from the start motherfucker. he was tims first and best friend and . even though i stand by the fact thay the events of mh should not be blamed on tim. this was also . brians doom . hes so doom player. i also have a lot of complicated hoodie thoughts ans i think i need to rewatch a bunch of the totheark videos before i can fully formulate them all but . brian is. pretty much gone the whole series. he lost his memories and his sense of self so early on, so we see hoodie more than we see brian. brian is doomed to. lose himself basically. and even as hoodie i think he knows this . so all of his focus is on guiding jay, having jay lead him to the ark (still. somewhat unclear on whay the ark actually is . i think i need 2 sit down and just watch the whole series again tbh. so if this sounds like total bullshit pls forgive me i am jusf a little guy) anyway. he OBVIOUSLY knows more than jay does. debatably even more than tim does. how does he know these things! seer behavior. he knows that theyre all fucked though. there are plenty of allusions to death in the totheark videos and. well. despite whether he is actually guilty of this or not, tim certainly blames him for Jay's death. hoodie left them the note that led them to benedict hall which was. the death site for literally 3/4 of the entire group. doom player behavior. he saw that their deaths were inevitable and unavoidable and set pieces in motion to get all of those things to happen because he knew it had to. but hes also really passive with the way he interacts. very rarely does he actually directly give things to jay, most of the time its through codes and indirect contact and simply leading him/guiding him rather than. explicitly directing him. (which. silly side note. enrichment for jays light player tendencies. tossing him a puzzle feeder full of snacks like here you go buddy figure it out except the snacks are his friends' inevitable deaths)

GOD I HOPE ANY OF THIS MAKES SENSE. I AM THINKING ABT THEM SOMUCH DUDE.

LOOKING AT THIS WITH MY EXTREME AUTISM STARE. OGUHGOHGFH. ALEX KNIGHT OF VOID NO UR RIGHT UR SO FUCKING RIGHT. LIKE YES PRINCE OF BLOOD WORKS TOO BUT KNIGHT OF VOID IS SOOOO. AGH. he's gone and that kickstarts the whole thing. yeagh. THE OPERATOR AS AN EMBODIMENT OF VOID MAC I AM GOING TO START EATING GLASS UR INSANE FOR THIS AND ALSO SO SO CORRECT. OH MY GOD. obscuring information, hiding things, taking and taking until there's nothing left. operator lord of void and alex its unwillingly loyal knight. im going to start throwing things AGHHHH!!!!

void is so so the opposite of light which makes heir of light jay SOOOO INTERESTING. trying to achieve the opposite of what alex is doing. obsessed with knowing, with untangling the mysteries, finding out the truth. HE BECOMES THE ASPECT OF LIGHT, OF KNOWLEDGE. HE LOSES HIMSELF IN IT. IT CONSUMES HIM. light players attract attention from the narrative and jay is at the centre of ALL OF IT. HE is the one making the videos and posting them. he is the main character. remember when tim gets mad at jay for posting the videos for the entire world to see??? jay is MAKING THE NARRATIVE. HE IS THE NARRATIVE. HE IS THE MEDIUM THROUGH WHICH WE CONSUME THE STORY. and he will do ANYTHING to expand that narrative and give the people watching more and more information. he wants others to have this knowledge. he IS the light and he will spread information at the detriment of people close to him.

oghhhh don't even get me started on knight of heart time. ohg. he IS selfish!! and he will use that selfishness to protect the people close to him. he cares so so fucking much and it's killing him. and sometimes the best way to protect others is to be away from them no matter how much he doesn't want to be alone. heart is about identity and self. these blackouts he keeps having make him wonder who he even is with the mask on. he doesn't know who he is anymore. he barely knows who everyone else is trying to be anymore. ur so fucking right he is SO heart player coded AGHHHH!!!!! THE GUY EVER!!!

oh my god brian seer of doom drives me fucking insane crazy batshit stupid. holyyyyyy shit. yeah. oh my god. he's known they were doomed from the start. seers are a guidance class meant to nudge the other players on their destined path. he. he does that. he sets things in motion for himself, alex, and jay to die. it was inevitable and he knew that. he gives jay these little puzzles to decode (ENRICHMENT FOR HIS ENCLOSURE!!! seer behaviour <3) he's a shepard guiding them to their deaths I'M GOING 2 BE SICKKKKK!!!! he's always known there's no way for any of this to end without his own death and the deaths of his friends and in typical seer fashion he just kind of. accepts it. pushes the others onto the same path. lets it happen. rose behaviour!!! he's such a doom player but seer is literally such a perfect class for him ohhh my god. yeah yeah yeah. ur so right. i'm going 2 eat my fucking computer <3

[beomglocks]

what soobin is like as a boyfriend

warnings & other: none i just love him but let’s be honest who doesn’t, this gets cheesy in some parts bc he just gives off stereotypical kdrama bf vibes but guys he’s the one

w/c: round to 1k

ok first off 

sorry if i rant soobin is my baby so ofc i think he’s the perfect boyfriend

he’s so

ugh

ok when you meet him he’s a shy boy

like really won’t wanna look you in the eye

ok like super fucking awkward

like painfully and you’re like “hahah ok that’s cute”

that only applies if you look intimidating tho

if you’re one of those people who’s blessed with not having resting bitch face he’ll be flirty

well you know..

he has his own methods of being flirty

he’s charming in his own way

probably does what yeonjun does but more subtle

stares

will stare at you

and when you make eye contact he smiles and rubs his lip with his finger DJSJSKDK PLZ

alternatively: looks away, purses his lips with a smile, ears get red, looks back up to you already looking at him then he waves

youre left like

“omg he’s so fucking cute”

ok but actually like he will reel you in without you even knowing

next thing you know you’re laughing at his lame ass jokes

god forbid you think he’s funny

“you think I’m funny? well we should date” :)

wait im pretty sure he said he doesnt go after someone unless he knows they like him back

tbh he’d probably wait until you make the first move

or wait until you show interest or else he’ll just hide his feelings

you have to bring him out of his shell

once you do...oh boy

100% never leaving you alone

always telling you how much he loves you

he’s the sweetest

teeth rotting sweet

i feel like he would slowly open up to you during the relationship

he’s not like automatically into it if that makes sense

shy to initiate things at first

such as kissing and touching

asks you if it’s ok first

we love consent

free samples kind of guy

dont take him to an ice cream shop or shops in general

he will devour the free samples

next thing you know you’re leaving with goat cheese and the newest ice cream flavour

he gives hopeless romantic vibes

would want to bake with you in the kitchen

and i know this sounds cliche but

flour fight

he’s cute with it at first

just rubs some flour on your nose then next thing you know

“we turned our dog white”

he’s a simple man

however

he probably spoils you

but not like expensive item type of spoiling he isn’t extravagant

god forbid the price range of any of the items he buys you exceeds his actual paycheck

cute gifts that you’ll actually use and cherish

i dont see many fights happening with him tbh

maybe if you question his leadership choices then i can see a fight happening

for example if you think he couldve handled a situation better in a certain way and you point that out to him he’ll get all defensive

“im the leader of my group dont tell me what you think is best for my group”

then you’re just like “well shit fuck you too i was just tryna help”

i can see him distancing himself after a fight if you’re also feeling a bit aggitated

doesn’t talk to you until it’s literally 2am and neither of you are sleeping bc yall always cuddle and you’re not cuddling him

:(

he’s always the first one to say sorry

my god he makes fun of you so much

not on a beomgyu level though

more of a “if you say something silly i will make you feel so dumb for the rest of the day” kind of clowning

wow jealousy

i feel like he’s not super jealous unless he feels threatened

everything was fine until the fire nation attacked

once he sees you getting a little too buddy buddy with someone else he’s like nah i gotta shut this shit down

he’s humble but once he’s jealous he’s all braggy to make himself seem above who ever was trying to get at you

“yeah i think we ALL-”

boy do you have to comfort this big baby

he’s sensitive :(

hold him and rub his head on his off days

tell him he’s the best boy and it doesnt matter what anyone else thinks screw them

he laughs like 

“shouldnt i be comforting you?” 

soooooooooo sappy

cliche asf boyfriend

buys you flowers

if he could he would be doing the whole radio outside your window thing (side note: yeonjun would too be he’s whipped asf)

college bf (we saw it coming)

see also: college bf who helps you in what he can and tells you to screw math bc you don’t need it anyways

shows up at your school or job after his practice

everyone loves him

everyone

you gotta be on guard 24/7

i wouldnt say you’d be insecure per se but soobin definietly lacks awareness when it comes to being flirted with

he recognizes others advances but laughs awkwardly, forgetting to tell the person he already has a partner

~cue mild argument~

at the end of it all he’s like “dont worry i only like you jeez”

if he’s working on a song he asks for your input

or rather how would you interpret a certain emotion that he isn’t able to convey

just to joke around, if he has to write a song about heartbreak but neither of you have been through that he’ll be like

“well there’s a first for everything :)”

soobin 100% takes the time to learn about your culture

he’s invested what can i say

introducing you to the other members isn’t THAT bad

but they definitely clown soobin

txt: “how come your partner is cooler than our own leader”

“maybe they should lead us instead” (joke)

soobin’s like fuck yall i can be cool :(

always send you cute selfies

with messages along the lines of

“i miss you :((((”

“bring ice cream on your way back!”

“be safe tho xxx”

he gives embarassing dad vibes

you can’t introduce him to your friends !

since he has you around he isn’t too shy and once he engages in conversation you better pack your bags

he’s trying to be funny (keyword: trying) but really it’s just your friends laughing to not make the hot idol bf not feel bad

you help him with his script for music bank

speaking of music bank

yes, yes, you are clowning him like the rest of txt and he comes home like

“not you too :(((((((”

hueningkai

my goodness hueningkai

yall tussle over soobin’s attention

sometimes it feels like youre sharing soobin with kai

you love them both but youre like “kai sweetie it’s cold and i wanna be the one to cuddle my bf so please”

speaking of cuddles 

best cuddles

ones where he’s wearing a really comfortable sweater that’s actually nice material and your face gets buried in his chest 

his limbs will be tangled in yours no doubt

but wow he’s so warm you almost never wanna let go

they don’t call him “home” for nothing

tall boy

makes fun of you if you’re shorter than him

yes he does tease you by placing items on higher-than-you-can-reach shelves

kick his shins he’ll give in

you: ”hows the weather up there”

him: “nice actually but you wouldnt know now would you :)”

tell him your problems, tell him anything

he will listen

and i mean let-you-ramble-for-hours kind of listen

but at the end of it his input is always valuable and he isn’t judgemental

he’s a good listener and gives good advice!!!

he’s not the leader for no reason put some damn trust in him!

[not-playable-character]

I swear to God im working on the next after story, so much has gotten in the way. Everytime I sit down to write something comes up and I won't be able to access my computer this weekend more than likely because I'll be flooded out of my house. So to make it up to you guys who have been patiently waiting (especially @ibest14 who requested this fix) im posting what I do have written as a lil preview (and so you guys can say yea or nay to the premise)

It was a normal Saturday afternoon when the Winters family got a very strange package.  It was addressed to the whole family and had no return address.

“What the heck is this?” Rose wondered aloud carrying the small package inside, “Hey mom! Did you order something online?”

“Not that I remember, why?” Mia asked curious why her daughter was asking about the mail, “Who is it addressed to? Maybe your dad ordered something.” She went and stood next to Rose to look at the package.

“Hmm, I think we should wait for dad to get home to open it, I mean it is addressed to all of us.” Mia agreed with her daughter and went to continue making dinner.

Ethan got home a few hours later and was greeted by his daughter with a warm hug, “Haha, hey there kid how was your day?” He asked returning the hug and picking Rose up.

“It was good! We got a weird package in the mail, mom and I decided to wait for you before opening it.” Rose said leading him into the kitchen after he put her down.

“Welcome home, Hon!  How was work?” Mia asked kissing Ethan on the cheek.

“Ugh, Williams was an absolute pain again.  He somehow unplugged all of his equipment and disconnected his computer from the ethernet cable again.” Ethan complained sitting down at the dinner table next to Rose. “Chris somehow changed his computer to Arabic and Sal’s computer was changed to have wingdings as the default language and it bricked the whole thing, he said it was an accident, but I think it was one of the dicks that keep harassing him.  I told Chris and he’s looking into it.” Ethan picked up the package and looked at the outside.

“Ugh why can’t these douchebags see that Sal is way better than them.  Probably just jealous of him.” Rose said frustrated at the harassment her uncle was receiving.

“We should invite him over for dinner sometime, lift his spirits some!” Mia suggested placing a glass of juice down for Ethan.  He agreed and thanked her for the juice.

Ethan handed the package back to Rose who tore into the packaging.  Inside was a video game box, “Resident Evil? Isn’t that a game from the nineties?” Rose asked confused.

Ethan leaned over to get a better look, “Yeah it is, I played almost all of them, but I’ve never seen that one.  It looks like its supposed to be the seventh one, but they only made six that I know of.” Ethan became confused taking the box from Rose studying it, it strangely didn’t have a back cover.

“Weird, maybe they are rebooting the series, but why wouldn’t there be a lot of news about it?” Rose asked.  Ethan’s face lit up at the possibility of a reboot of his favorite childhood series.

“Man, I hope so, I always loved Craig Bluemarsh and Leo C. Harrison.  They were the best!  The whole M.O.O.N.S squad from Badger City.  Special Ops turned paranormal investigators was the twist of the decade!  And the whole thing with Egbert Walberk and how he possessed himself with countless demons to become basically a god.” Ethan sighs as he reminisces.

“You clearly have bad taste honey because Julie Easter was the best character in the series.  The ace of the M.O.O.N.S squad, the one that Walberk kidnapped to force demons into her with a mind control amulet.  Oh, and don’t forget Chloe Bluemarsh, college kid turned aid worker for those affected by the demons.” Mia added as she chopped vegetables for dinner.

“Ahh yes, how could I forget! Anyway, this looks like a cheap bootleg or fake.  Probably just a prank from Dani or Angie.”  Ethan said tossing the case further on the table looking upset.

“Aw man…. That’s lame dad.” Rose says dramatically throwing herself over the back of the chair.  “I’m keeping it anyway; the box looks cool.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A month after the whole package incident, Rose bursts into the house beaming.  “Dad, Uncle Chris just told me that we are having a meeting with the whole gang! We should totally bring that janky game we got and show it off!”

“Whoa, slow down Rose! You’re gonna hurt yourself running around like that.” Ethan says watching his daughter bounce in place.  “Why do you think we should bring that thing anyway? I doubt there will be anytime to just sit around and play a game, if it’s even real.”  Rose rolls her eyes at him.

“Dad, I’m sure Uncle Chris can pull some strings so we can have a little get together.  We never get to see each other all at once!” Rose states, putting on her best puppy dog eyes, “Don’t you want to see the gang, Dad.  It would be so much fun.  You know how much I miss them all.” She begs.

Ethan can physically feel his resolve crumbling at his begging daughter, always caving into her once she pulls out the puppy eyes, “Fine, I’ll talk with Chris and we can bring the game with us, but you are responsible for the PlayStation and if it gets damaged or broken you have to buy the new one.” He says in his dad voice, trying to be stern.  Rose squeals and jumps into his arms hugging him.

“You’re the best dad ever!”  She says running off to prepare for their long weekend at Blue Umbrella.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Ok, is everyone comfy, I’m about to start the game!” Rose said excitedly setting up the PS4 in the Blue Umbrella lounge room.  Everyone was present, Rose even convinced Miranda and Elena to join them after Milena was put to bed.

“I am unsure of what we are even doing sweet thing.” Alcina said settling into her chair near Mia and Donna.

“Well, I’m gonna play this weird game I got, maybe Dani can take over if I get tired.  We are just gonna check it out, if its good, Great! If not, we can make fun of how bad it is!” Rose explained sitting down on the couch wedged between Daniela, Angie, and Heisenberg with Bela and Cassandra on the floor in front of them.  Alcina wasn’t convinced that it would be fun, but she couldn’t deny Rose’s request considering how excited she looked.  She sighed and pulled out her reading glasses seeing the small text on the screen.

“Psh, what are you a grandma?” Heisenberg teased. Alcina growled at him.

“Oh, please grow up you child.” She replied trying to de-escalate the situation knowing Rose and her daughters hated when they argued.

“I see making your head bigger didn’t help your eyesight.” He continued to tease sensing her anger.

“I grew proportionally you ignoramus, becoming larger would not fix my farsightedness.” She growled out becoming angrier.

“Guys….” Rose said sadly at the two arguing.  Heisenberg immediately stopped his next sentence and turned to give Rose a side hug.

“Sorry kiddo, I forgot you hate it when we fight.  I’ll stop, I promise.”  He says sincerely as Alcina nods looking guilty, Rose smiles accepting their apologies.

“No more sappiness get to the action I’m getting bored!” Angie cried out from Daniela’s lap.  Rose rolls her eyes at the doll’s bratty attitude and begins the game.

[imaginethathaikyuu]

How did I find your blog? I was looking for soft Kuroo content on google. And your soft birthday hc’s for him came up. And that’s also how I found tumblr

What was the first story of yours that I read? That Kuroo piece ^

Roughly, how long have I been following this blog? Well I found that piece shortly after it was posted so…. Around the beginning of December 2019 I think. Got a tumblr a few months later and you were the first person I followed (had you in my bookmarks bar before that! (still have you in my bookmarks bar and when I share my screen in classes there are occasionally questions. I ignore them))

What’s something I’ve noticed about you personality wise? You’re really clever and funny. But you’re also sweet. But because you’re clever you have no hesitation in setting up and enforcing your boundaries, and I really admire that strength and confidence.

Have we ever interacted, either by PM, ask, or in the comments? What was my perception of you? YES!!! PM, SOOOOO many asks, comments, and you sent me an ask. And reblogged it. And I cried. A lot. My perception: you’re lovely and I want to h*ld your h*nd ….please.

What’s my favorite story of yours? Oh how to choose. Firstly, I’m a nb, biracial, bisexual. Honey, I’ve never made a choice in my life. But let’s try here. Anything you’ve written for Tsukki. Literally all of it is gold. Fight me. I was going to write “especially [piece title]” but I LITERALLY CANNOT CHOOSE ONE. Your Bokuto nightmare piece. Your Kuroo angsty fight. Your Tendou dealing with S/O with parents who yell piece. Your Kinktobers. Your Futakuchi and Mattsun pieces. And your Terushima pieces. Ugh. I CANNOT CHOOSE. OH AND YOUR STREAMER KENMA!!!!!! OKay just… all of it. I can’t choose. I tried, and I failed, and I’m willing to admit failure.

What’s a story I’d love to see you write? I don’t want to say this… because it hurts me… but I just KNOW you’d write brilliant angst. Some of my fav pieces of yours are pained beginnings with happy endings. That fight with Tsukki after a bad day at work. The pieces I mentioned above (nightmare pieces and fighting pieces and angsty home life ha.. ha.ha.ha.). That Oikawa one where the reader wakes up in bed without him and thinks he left. You write these gorgeous atmospheres and descriptive, visceral feelings, and if you chose to use it for evil…. You could get evil shit done. You’re SO powerful. So I want to read it… but also…. I don’t. I’d love to see you write ABO like you mentioned a while back or just see you explore a cutesy soulmate AU or something. I think you’d be really good at writing an AU where you hear what the other person’s listening too. I feel like you’d be so good at making me feel something for someone who was in another city. (think this would be cute with Tsukki cos he’s headphones boy, OR terushima because I like the dynamic of someone flirty, who clearly cares about looks, falling for someone he can’t see) ANYWAY….

Favorite pairing you write for?/fav reader insert? Tsukishima x reader. It’s my fav self-ship. (but also Mattsun, Bokuto, Oikawa, Tanaka, and Akaashi because you write them SO WELL!!!!)

Have any of your stories helped me through a hard time? Of course. Your self-harm piece came at a time I needed it. Iwaizumi’s in particular saved my life. But also your Tendou dealing with S/O parents who fight… came right when I needed it. Also starting college… was hard.. And reading and rereading your fluff really pulled me through it.

Have any of your stories hit closer to home? YES (see above).

Do I genuinely like your blog, it’s aesthetic or posts? It’s overall feel? It’s content? Yes. The aesthetic is, ngl, a wee bit basic. But I kinda love that. And the feel? It feels like home. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Your blog is my safe space. So, yes, I love. It’s content? YES. OF COURSE. Your personality probably could have kept me here even if your content was kinda shit, but I follow you RELIGIOUSLY because of your content. So yes. I adore.

Is English my first language? Kinda??? I grew up in a trilingual household so I kinda learned three languages at the same time while growing up. But no, I don’t need to translate it in my head. Because English was one of the three.

Anything I want to share? Yes. Please keep being kind to yourself, caring for your mental health, enforcing your boundaries, loving Akaashi, and just generally being you. You’re so lovely as you are, and I hope you continue grow, but never change. Also I’m sorry about all your work stuff…. It literally makes me feel sick. And I hope you find a job where that’s not tolerated, or that your work finds a better way of protecting it’s employees. I know you know this, but none of it is your fault. I just hope things improve. AND I love you… a lot. And I’m so proud of you hitting 9K and you deserve so many more followers because your pieces are just... GORGEOUS. I can’t wait until I’m at Barnes and Noble in a few years and I can pick up a hardback copy of your debut novel. I’m so excited to say “I knew Em Akaashi (which is your legal name as far as I’m concerned) before she was so popular among the masses.”

so ive been trying to figure out the correct and worthy way to reply to this ask since the moment i got it......because its so fucking sweet and kind and amazing and pure and perfect and i just dont know how to use WORDS to explain the way it makes me feel so.......i will just reply in bullet points in regards to every question u answered to make it a lil easier :D

- the fact that u found my blog on google ....... like this may be odd and a very specific thing but before i made this blog i always hoped that 1 day my fanfic would pop up in google searches bc thats ALWAYS how i found fics when i was reading them religiously and i felt so much ENVY!!!!! LIKE I WANTED TO BE THERE I WANTED MY FICS TO B POPULAR ENOUGH TO POP UP ON GOOGLE.....that may sound very selfish but its true......so thats just very cool to me... :]

- u’ve been here for so long omg 🥺🥺🥺🥺 if anyone in ur classes ever asks jus promo my blog like its nbd 

- thats so sweet what 🥺🥺🥺 i try my best to advocate for myself and be confident for myself.....ive spent far too much of my time being silently uncomfortable because i was afraid of pushing someone’s buttons seeming rude.....but NO MORE!!!! i know what upsets me, i know my triggers, i know what i dislike experiencing, and im never gonna let myself be anxious or uncomfortable for someone else’s sake, esp if theyre being rude 2 me. i would say its less strength and confidence and moreso me attempting to take control of my anxiety in the places i can (aka on the Internet) bc i am SICK OF ANXIETY ATTACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

- BBY no dont CRY!!!! im racking my brain trying to think of who u are i wanna know so bad so i can thank u personally for being the kindest person in the world n so i can send u more asks >:(........MY HAND IS URS TO HOLD!!!!! dont tell akaashi tho 

- OMG my TSUKKI pieces.....hes so hard to write why ;-; thank u so much im so glad u enjoy my works<3333

- NOT ANGST NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!! pained beginnings to happy endings are my specialty.....IMAGINE me writing a sad ending like i CANT!!!!!!!!! ive only done it a few times and it is so Difficult.....YALL ARE SO LUCKY IM NOT EVIL!!!!!! ive had this idea for an angsty akaashi fic that i think about and write in my head every night before falling asleep and it Hurts and i wanna write it but i also can’t make myself :D ABO would be very fun but i genuinely do not know how to explore the concept while making it feel like it’s Written By Me.....u know what i mean? same with soulmate aus, i really dislike writing them because theyre just boring to me like they all feel the same everything’s been done for them.....which is FINE!!! but i write enough cliche stuff as it is HAHA, a long distance type soulmate au could be fun and interesting but ldr’s trigger me bc of a past relationship so </3 but hey maybe someone else could use the idea!!!!!

- gotta love tsukishima <3

- im rlly glad my writing could be there for you friend, one of the biggest reasons i write fanfic (and write the kind of fics i write) is bc i know firsthand how much reading sweet stories abt ur comfort characters can help u through the shittiest times - i just wanna offer ppl some support and happy feelings and love cuz sometimes fanfic is the only time we can find those things (and theres nothing shameful abt that either if anyone bullies u for reading fanfic i will fight them)

- I KNOW MY LAYOUT IS LAZY AND BASIC AS FUCK AND THAT IS BECAUSE I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT LMAOOOO so im glad u think its ok...... like i dont have the patience to create a fancy ass layout that actually works are u KIDDING ME??????? I COULD LITERALLY NEVER plus i kinda like that its just the basic kinda ugly boring default layout like it makes it simple and easy and i feel like it brings focus to the only thing on this blog that i care about which is my writing, i rlly only care about the content here and not aesthetics jdbljdabsdk that blue background will be there til i Die......i adore u more btw 

- WHOA trilingual what the hell ur so cool tell me more 

- you have my word, friend, that i will continue to do all of that so long as you do the same. take care of yourself, be kind to yourself - i know u can do it, ur so kind to others and u deserve to be kind to urself, too so this is the part that genuinely brought me to tears because *sappy dumb shit ahead* ok look ever since i can remember the one and only thing ive wanted to do with my life is become an author ...... dreams of book covers with my name written on them and words in pages written by me and fanart of my characters and going into my local bookstore n seeing my book there....these thoughts all haunt my fucking brain because i want it SO BAD!!!!!!!! so bad that it makes me CRY!!!!!!!! ive never wanted something more and just!!!!!!!!!!!! idk how much u meant that part but holy fuck!!!!!! i hope so bad that one day i can send u a free copy of my book as a thank u for being the person u are. u have all my love friend, every last bit of it <333333333

[misterbitches]

i feel SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 0h9uagfijojsga i hate hate hate hate hate hate hate it when someone moves something off someone’s face and eats it esp now i guess id ont know i wont let anyone do it ii dont KNOW WHAT IS IS BUT I WAS LIKE NOOOOO NO NO NO NO NO NO???? but it was cute anyways also theer was a good editing moment in ep 4 but i am too tired to think.

their dad sucks.

should i choose to believe that zhen xuan’s s/l is about how data privacy is important, rich people suck, and the cops are bad and also persecute people that are marginalized to the edge and hurts them? punishing mppl for living? i choose to believe that even though im pretty sure it isnt that.

there was good stuff here. i am confused abt the rs in HS and i think it’s true that he needs help. getting help is constant! and with paranoia and self harm you absolutely can go off the rails. even with stuff like anxiety esp OCD i know when i have things i hold on to and have to let go cos it’s literally an ocd tic for me. i really like teh way he is portrayed but idk. i like the actor.

i have a bone to pick with the costume designer abt the pants on both xuan and yi tho. it’s  ugly. 

anyways i hope hes ok. tbh i was scared he was gonna commit skewerslide i know they wouldnt go there but even tho there’s plenty that was correct about what sou yi said it was still harmful. it’s not his fault u were a creep bitch

ah and last but not least and perhaps not actually last. i hate the father did i say that anyway their reunioon was great. it took me um 11 hours from seeing the first svcene until now to finish  but ugh. my chest gets all tight and i want to vomit and that’s how i know it’s good.

controversial i know: i could spend 4eva just watching them together they dont need 2 kiss. when GSD was like looking at the bracelet i was like so ur just...gonna fuck now? or? lmao but yea it’s nice. i NEEEEEEEEED NEED. NEED. NEED. a scene where we go through those emails. ok i dont want them if theyre super sappy and romantic but i feel like thered be some deep shit.

also i love how much shu yi loves him and i love hearing him speak japanese and his dad is going to hell which doesnt exist but it does and hes in it

does anyone know whyyyyy there were images of him sitting in his lap but we didnt get the scene? it’s when theyre in the office with the emails (god, america ruined this word for me forever. i just went EMAAAAIIIIILLLLS if u know u know)  and uhhhhhh another 5 hours of us watching them :)

[benreyplush]

ok so

benny is some sort of benrey clone after some weird shit happened when benrey was defeated and made his way back into gordon’s games like payday 2.

he somehow got into terraria and has no memory of black mesa or who he was even based off of. he barely remembers his name and all it came out to him was “benny”

he’s also freakishly tall

when jack (the world’s guide) found him, he was very quiet and seemingly apathetic about his surroundings. didn’t really talk much and jack thought he was an enigma for a while. he did his usual and helped him begin his life there.

but then benny started doing some weird shit that jack wasnt prepared for. enemies couldn’t hurt him. he could freeze time. destroy and create items indefinitely. he has no idea what benny is and the order of the guide never talked about anything like this so obviously he’s very freaked out at first

slowly benny starts remembering some of his old personality and would say things that make 0 sense to jack. jack doesn’t know what “poggers” means.

eventually benny remembers a lot of it and actually feels kinda sad. like he feels like he has to be this “benrey” but he doesnt want to be. hes different.

and jack tells him he’s not benrey. he became his own thing and that was good! and he doesnt have to be like him. benny was very relieved by this and sorta became his own thing. like he was still like benrey but less of an asshole and really just goofed around. he still found himself harassing the new npcs that move in but he never harasses jack. he likes jack.

jack says he wont call him benrey. to him, he’s benny. and benny really appreciates it.

jack always wondered what benny meant by “self aware” when he talked about his memories. benny talked about the “npc ai just getting a mind of their own” and said when he joined this new world, it must have turned everyone in terraria self aware like in half life. so thats cool.

eventually jack like. realizes he might have a lil crush on benny and feels bad about it. because he knows his fate is to be sacrificed in the end and he doesnt wanna grow too close to benny.

but inevitably they end up together and jack is starting to question if he needs to die. like originally he came to terms with it a long time ago but now he’s actually reconsidering??? wow! they have at least one argument when jack actually sits him down and explains the wall of flesh thing.

at some point jack convinces benny to take him on an adventure and they end up in the underworld. jack’s plan was to go through with the sacrifice and almost succeeded but benny grabbed him and told him not to do that again. and jack was like “you have to let me do this” and benny was like “no dude i love u” and then they kissed and it was like. the first time either of them have kissed anyone ever but it was still nice.

and jack is like “ok actually i want to live with you forever lets go home” but a demon appears when they arent paying attention and attacks them and jack gets knocked into the lava and the wall of flesh is summoned. and benny is devastated. 

when thats over a new guide shows up but benny wants nothing to do with him bc he is not jack. and benny is mad at himself bc he can freeze time, control enemy spawn rates n shit but he cant bring ppl back to life and he feels worthless about it

so the rest of the story is about benny having to move on and accept his death :(

so its a sad story 

but here’s some nice things

benny knows the sweet voice still and uses it on jack all the time. it was confusing to them both when he did it the first time. eventually jack gets used to it and actually really likes it. 

jack is supposed to be the helpful npc so he usually keeps himself together but as he grows closer to benny his emotions start coming out more and whenever he’s stressed he can just look at benny and say “sweet voice pls” and benny calms him down with it. benny also uses it to get jack to sleep (”blue and red means its time for bed :)” ) because normally he shouldnt have to but being self aware is tiring.

oh also whenever jack gets burns from the voodoo dolls in the underworld, benny heals them with the sweet voice healing beam :). benny has no idea how he keeps getting burned and eventually just assumes its bc of the furnace and is like “bro stop shoving ur hands in the furnace lol” and jack cant bring himself to tell him the truth so he just goes with it.

benny was the first to confess and he did it by serenading jack with the worst guitar playing that jack has ever heard <3 but it still made him smile. i know he really had to think about it before accepting it bc wall of flesh, can’t get too close, blah blah blah.

plus idk how relationships work in the order of the guide. he probably really didnt expect to get into a relationship and the new guide that comes along probably found it super strange.

anyway this is a lot of text wow im gonna just add on to the post as i think of shit but if u read all of this i am in love with u

EDIT: I FOUND A WAY TO MAKE A HAPPY ENDING

after defeating the moon lord, either the order of the guide or maybe even the spirits of terraria herself brings jack back because benny deserves that after saving all of them.

so benny notices the new guide is gone and was like “weird but whatever” and then he hears someone call out to him. he’s like “ugh what” and turns and its jack and he like. drops his weapon in his hand in shock and takes his eye mask and helmet off to see him properly. like he isnt sure if he’s dreaming or not.

and then he runs to him and grabs him and he’s real holy fuck. so he’s overjoyed and both of them fucking cry (first time jack actually sees ben cry ever!!!) and they kiss n shit and its incredible the end. since the world has been saved, the two live a more domestic life and benny is like “we’re never going to the underworld again ever and also im going to be around u a lot bc i missed u so much and i cant lose u again” so he’s extra clingy but jack is so happy to be back with him that he doesnt care!!!!!

also funny fact but the mechanic was the first npc to move in with them and (i think her name was shayna in my world. will change it if not) was overly annoyed at their constant sappiness before jack was killed. ben was extra affectionate to jack around her bc he likes annoying ppl (except for jack). but when jack comes back from the dead, she still acts annoyed but she’s actually relieved to see benny happy again.

[circumstellars]

Fandom trash - TUA - Questions 1-16 ✌

You cheaaaated! I’ll try to be concise:

1) name ur politically correct ship that no one ever questions

My politically correct ship? Vanya/Sissy. After season 2 I also am starting to like Allison/Luther, and it shouldn’t be politically incorrect cos it’s right there in the main canon, but it is. I don’t think anyone will give me a hard time about Vanya/Sissy tho (but you never know).

2) now name ur trash ship

I’m still working on those omg. Um, I saw a smutty Luther/Klaus ficlet that honestly /worked(!!)/, I was amazed. I need to explore more but it’s going to be between the siblings and people will get mad anyway ehehehe

3) and ur really trashy im-going-to-hell ship 

-Omg- The going to hell ship? In this fandom? I dunno just yet but I’m sure I’ll adopt at least one at some point. I see you Klaus/Five shippers, you little nutbags, you may be on to something.

4)  who is your cinnamon roll fave who everyone loves

Five. He’s my sweet murdery nugget but it’s not like he’s unpopular - loads of people also love on him a lot.

5) who is your sinnamon roll fave who everyone loves to hate/hates to love

Everyone hated on Luther so much but he’s honestly just a pure, simple man trying to live with the fact he’s deeply in love with his sister and is now a monkey ok

6) who is your trash fave who is so problematic they probably have hate tumblrs dedicated to them 

My trash fave is fr The Handler. Yeah yeah she’s problematic, well she’s a goddamn villain, so I sure hope so. I want her to have nice things she doesn’t deserve.

7) what is ur  guiltiest guilty fave fandom

N/a, I usually stick to one fandom at a time, and all fandom to me is a guilty pleasure. I’m ADHD and have an addictive personality. Embarrassing, I know.

8) what is the fic you want to write/read but can’t because it is too full of Sin

There is not one answer to this... but several. I’m not really sure how to answer this, hmm... Since I haven’t really seen much in the way of fic in this fandom thus far, it’s sort of difficult to go beyond headcanons and basic concepts. I suppose my most secretly sinful fic tropes are A/B/O, but don’t tell anyone...

9) what is the most sinful fic you have ever read/written

I haven’t written full fic in generations but I did read a lot and in my last fandom the filthiest fics I recall off the top of my head that are within my tastes are A/B/O fics again yikes wow /loosens tie Usually has to um, do with a lot of desperation and body worship, lots of um, bodily fluids I guess, and lots and lots of sappy romance...

10) what is the worst thing you want to become canon (character death, trash-ship etc)

Allison/Luther happens in a more physical way but they don’t end up together. I like their constant struggle. Also, the absolute worst thing I want to happen that I know is bad writing but I don’t care - Ben (our Ben) coming back to life. /sobs

11) what is your most sinful headcanon

More sinning ugh. Okay the truth? I think Five banged The Handler, or they’ve just fooled around or something, when Five was working at the Commission. I don’t think it was any sort of proper relationship, and it certainly wasn’t healthy, and I don’t think Five particularly likes her either (in fact he rather finds her tedious) - I just think she’s manipulative and he’s a 50 year old who’s pent up both emotionally and physically. I just know she took advantage of him in some way, but I can’t explain it in detail on stupid SFW twitter now can I?

12) what is your cutest headcanon

My cutest? I have a lot of those too. One of them is Five used to cry a lot as a kid and has conditioned himself to suppress the urge as he got older, but when they were really little, Ben would comfort him and be his emotional support brother.

13) what is your heart-breakingist head canon

That Ben was killed by the tentacle beast after he loses control in front of his siblings. Breaks me up inside and I don’t even know if it’s true!

14) what is ur crackiest crack ship

I don’t have crack ships, really ever. I mean in a way Five x Delores is a crack ship, does that count?

15) what is ur marginally less cracky crack ship

See 14

16) what is ur favourite ridiculous au

Again, because fanfic is a bit sparse in this fandom thus far, I haven’t had a chance to explore AUs. I hope to, eventually. I don’t care for some of the overused AUs used by teenagers like High School AUs or some shit. A really well thought out coffee shop AU is often satisfying. Of course again, there’s always A/B/O AU, but we don’t need to talk about that...

[midoriyaizukustan-inactive]

more iitsuchako bc i wont let yall ignore them

imagine them all meeting each other’s families

the iidas get down w the idea of polyam p fast so i cant see any trouble there. they love uraraka. they think she’s so sweet and kind and cheerful and they can def see why baby tenya fell for her shes just so good. and they love tsu too even tho iida isn’t technically dating her theyre just dating the same girl dfjkfjk. they think shes so funny and talented ugh we stan. tensei teases tenya alll through the whole meeting and tsu and uraraka laugh but theyre also charmed bc it’s a side of tenya they dont get to see all that often so it’s nice seeing him so relaxed and giddy,,and also embarrased fjkfgjk iida would def be like super excited to introduce uraraka and tsu to his parents btw. like bro’s vibrating like we’ve seen him do a couple times like “MOM DAD THIS IS MY GIRLFRIEND OCHAKO AND THIS IS HER GIRLFRIEND TSU BUT TSU AND I ARE JUST FRIENDS ANYWAY I LOVE THEM AND RESPECT THEM SO MUCH I HOPE YOU GET ALONG” PLEASE HE’D BE SO ENDEARING FJKFJKF

tsu is a lil nervous abt having iida and uraraka meeting her family but bro her little siblings LOVE THEM esp when they find out uraraka’s quirk is ANTI-GRAVITY. so uraraka and iida entertain her lil sibs for a while by like uraraka floating them and iida zooming them around or being their like racehorse to chase uraraka down pls. meanwhile tsu’s parents Observe and then finally her dad pats her on the head and her ma is like “she’s a sweet girl and iida is a good friend im glad you found each other” and tsu cant stop smiling for the rest of the visit PLEASE. when uraraka and iida notice her smiling so much they start smiling too and it’s like infectious. and theyre disgustingly sappy while tsu kinda hops on her feet a lil while she shows them arnd the rest of her house like she’s holding iida and uraraka’s hands and like swinging them and just HHH they have a nice dinner and iida keeps nervously rambling abt Anything but tsu and uraraka interact w him so seamlessly nd uraraka is able to easily devote her attention and affection between iida and tsu equally so tsu’s parents definitely at the end support their relationship

uraraka’s parents would be a lil confused abt the whole arrangement but they’ve got the spirit theyre just glad uraraka is happy and doing things solely for her happiness yknow. they show off her baby pics to iida and tsu while uraraka is like in the bathroom real quick and she comes out to tsu going like “u were so cute as a baby ochako-chan” and iida being like “u’ve grown so much ochako wow” and uraraka is like MOM DAD W H Y djkfjkf i love them anyway uraraka’s parents were a lil unsure at first, sure, but they see how aboslutely whipped their daughter is and how absolutely whipped in return iida and tsu are and just how gentle they are w each other and they Both notice when uraraka just holds their hands (pinkie finger up ofc) and smiles at them both and both iida and tsu literally have heart eyes as they smile bck and theyre like “yeah ok this is good for her” so they trust uraraka to be okay on the way out uraraka’s dad tries to give iida and tsu a shovel talk but he’s too friendly and also he likes them too much to rlly actually threaten anything he’s just like “just- you know- take care of her. im sure youve noticed how hard she pushes herself sometimes” and iida and tsu promise with such SINCERITY uraraka’s dad is internally like “holy shit theyre in deep”

anyway please im begging. iida and tsu love each other platonically and they love uraraka romantically and uraraka loves THEM romantically please theyre so whipped PLEASE

anyway thanks for ur consideration stan iitsuchako or dont last the winter

[theskyexists]

she-ra 4

the reason i stopped watching she-ra is the same reason i stopped watching the dragon prince.

the narrative doesn’t take the situation seriously. instead of leaning into the anguish of war and violence (atla, teen titans) - they make light of it. EVEN when the characters’ guardians are KILLED!!

when Angella died and they spent 2 seconds on Glimmer’s grief at the end of season 3 i was like......actually fuck this. HOW can i take any of these stakes seriously when they insist on brushing them off???

anyway just had to complain about that - especially because the start of the first ep of 4 is them joking AGAIN about something as grim as Glimmer now carrying all the responsibilities of her mother - who may i remind you IS DEAD

but catradora became canon apparently so now i have to struggle through

her aunt, her mother’s sister, is fuckin, joking about cakes, her friends are laughing at the joke. COME ON! how goddamn unrealistic and insensitive. EVEN if they wanna make a point of it - it’s silly! because the narrative PARTICIPATES in making light of the situation. if it was just the characters it would be less jarring

‘we’ll make sure this day is perfect’  WHAT? how could it EVER BE IF HER MOTHER IS FUCKING DEAD????????? AND THAT”S THE ONLY REASON SHE’S QUEEN????? ‘must be hard’ YEAH IT’S HARD - IN FACT IMPOSSIBLE. instead of pretending to be happy maybe you can show some genuine sensitivity. these people are so crazily emotionally underdeveloped my god. what age are they supposed to be? 16? 17? The problem that She-ra has (just like the dragon prince) is that there are no relevant adults. Oh sure there’s a Queen, and some Soldiers, and a Sorceress. But there isn’t a single relevant competent adult around who is concerned with running a bureaucracy or the emotional stability of children

I do like how Catra has overcome her fear of Hordak. but i think i remember being fuckin furious at her for almost destroying the whole world and hurting Scorpia and betraying Entrapta just to spite Adora. vaguely.

the rebellions problem is that they’re all extremely stupid himbos. like literally, in the whole story, only catra and shadowweaver have any smarts, while glimmer gains the ability to think during full moons on wednesdays. meanwhile everybodys is a slave to their emotions - which destroys any brain cells that shadowweaver or catra (or angella or anyone) might have managed. they could literally have killed hordak the entire time but just let him order them around because they’re so hot for acknowledgement

I’m glad Glimmer reflects my frustrations now hahahahaah

‘everyone is already acting like she doesn’t matter’  - yeah dudes, you fucking insensitive bastards

‘im supposed to take care of you glimmer’ - but unfortunately i have the emotional intelligence of a crab! FUCK!

this is another thing about this show that makes me groan. sappy quick resolutions of emotional turmoil through re-affirming the fuckin power of friendship in the first episode of the season.

also couldn’t Adora have done this she-ra stuff from the very beginning

that was badass.....miss glimmer’s other hair though. ok the emotions at that hologram and statue though...

the coolest part of she-ra for me is finding out more how the ancient systems all fit into Etheria and the She-Ras and Hordak Prime etc.

THIS IS A GOOD SPEECH. love this badass.

love Hordak getting put in his place. Love Catra realising she has power - love Hordak reaping what he sows. its unfortunate that she’s a shitty brat who JUST can’t get over her inferiority complex

if i could endlessly teleport i would do what glimmer does

also, glimmer was willing to fuckin murder catra before and she DEFINITELY will be now lol. love that for her.

why did they only introduce adora learning to transform her sword NOW ahahaha, theyve had SO MANY SCENES in which she doesnt have it and then suddenly does - and then its gone again

scorpia is the funniest and most likeable person in the whole show

they really suddenly can’t take five people on with she ra and fuckin huntara on their side??

i remember that little sadistic righteous twist in my stomach when Adora finally was like: FUCK!!!!!! YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! Catra!!!!!!! and the stupid idiot got it

FINALLY A GLANCE AT THE PEOPLE OF ETHERIA AGAIN! i love the party sequences in this!!! the people of etheria are so beautiful! nobody ever comments on the main characters all looking plain human in contrast....

‘and i fell for it!’  yeah cos you DUMB AS BRICKS ADORA

so first they quietly take out the guards....and then literally break open the door hahaahahahahaaha

‘we forgot the bots regenerate’ - yeah cos you DUMB AS BRICKS ADORA

i just dont understand why they insist on making the main characters so DUMB ahahahahaah

Adora and Catra are great at hitting where it hurts. the difference between them is that Catra KNOWS that she’s hurting Adora - she does it deliberately.

wow that could be some pretty angsty stuff constantly leaving her to struggle on the floor while painfully electrocuted. Catra has also moved to kill Adora straight up so many times. im sure she really wants to (but it would destroy her later). But now, Adora swept something at Catra that might have actually killed her. I get Catra though, I would’t want to get beaten by some blonde, blue-eyed, glowing golden kid who always gets to win and do better. this is truly the first time Adora has moved to kill Catra......

does flatterina not have parents who’d be like: uhhhhh maybe leave the soldiering for a couple more years?

catra truly burning all her bridges. hahaha. it’s so satisfying to see her use her anger and power to truly destroy herself - because of guilt!

no other villagers were like - HMMMMMMM this random new kid is here? weird..... i didnt see that coming either.

Adora doesn’t think about what Catra might have even been doing there - cos she’s DUMB AS BRICKS

the interesting thing about this show is that they’re setting up a dichotomy. they’re treating war like a high-stakes game because they have the good side adhere to an aesthetic of ....magic. they will not make the two sides equivalent in any way - which makes questions of morality moot. the show is purely an emotional drama. the horde is an army of brainwashed kids in an industrial wasteland - they fight with tech and guns. but the good guys cannot fight with an army or tech, they fight with cleverness and magic. they’re called the ‘rebellion’ - they HAVE to be underdogs because they have to follow the script of good - even though what’s really going on is war, not a rebellion. That’s why they have a single strike team that do ‘missions’. They are presented as FUNDAMENTALLY different - on the level of identity which they cannot change lest they destroy themselves - and in that way the good guys can never become the bad guys. it is ALMOST meta. think they’re gonna do something with that at one point. i hope

also Netossa has such a super cool design.

‘everyone knows you’re needed in bright moon’ - uh. really? i dont know. some random person i’ve never seen before demands you go to meetings. so? is that important? why?

spinerella can literally FLY???????? why has she been in the background this whole time??? hahahaha military inefficiency.

there was an explosion that ripped trees apart - but bo’s alive!! honesty why didn’t they try explosive suicide bots before. they’re very lucky he was still alive to heal

‘could they be tracking she-ra?’ WHAT? isn’t the obvious suggestion - A SPY???? they just assume that the general is right hahahahaa.

i love how double trouble is so meta.

actually, why wasn’t glimmer trained as a sorcerer anyway?

glimmer is upset about her growing magic plants but not her having magic ingredients

why do they present good strategic thinking (for once) as evil influence from shadowweaver

what a fuckin badass. honestly - glad that this show finally utilised glimmer’s extremely op powers like they should be. honestly, she’s much more powerful than She-Ra.

that bit with spinerella was so contrived jfc.

‘by using me as a decoy’ adora says, pissed off. uhhhh YOU went off on your own to get smushed by fuckin bots adora. Glimmer didn’t do that to you. she just used your stupidity.

glimmer really left catra to die. hahahahaa

i like adora best when she’s on her own and being a dork

they definitely managed to foreshadow that Light Hope was evil but im glad they picked up the thread now

am i seeing this wrong or did scorpia have two mums??? but also. where the fuck are they

lolololololol because everybodys dumb as bricks and emotionally volatile they’re incredibly easy to manipulate

‘i cant risk hitting flatterina’ pffft - ALL YOUR ARROWS ARE NON-LETHAL BO. ugh i cant deal with these contrived stakes

I LOVE THIS BADASS EFFICIENT HARDCORE GLIMMER

they’re really gonna spin it like this is a bad development? fuck off. finally some grit.

‘you took things way too far’ - but she got results! dumb as bricks adora

(this may seem harsh but adora is DUMB shes so fucking DUMB!!!! and she has many good qualities (such as an almost innate sense of morality) but goddamn. i guess its good to sometimes have a show about all around dumb characters. i mean, it’s not unrealistic per se, it’s just.....weird.)

the interesting thing about these characters is that you can SEE every single one of them struggling with cognitive dissonance. thats the big story of this show. they see the world a certain way - and then when something challenges that, they fight to the death to destroy or deny or ignore that new information - to everybody’s detriment. and they can’t back down because every step they’ve taken - would turn to sins they can’t live with. it’s interesting and its also a kind of conflict that‘s frustrating if not resolved at SOME point. thats why i love this season for its characters going off the rails. adora aiming to kill catra, catra destroying her last relationships, glimmer growing more and more militant.

they’re all acting like teens - that  is - highly volatile - unable to keep from provoking others or be provoked - but they ARE teens.

‘catra doesn’t care. she’ll hurt people to get her way (implied: EVEN people on her side)’ - we must remember that Scorpia was entirely fine with KILLING the trio (it was Catra that wasn’t at the time).

‘you’re a bad friend’ OH OUCH. Catra - who’s always been treated as a whipping girl by those in power - does the same to those she is in power over. But on some level she doesn’t WANT to be that. she’s just always always been rejected and take advantage of and lashed out at and abandoned by the people she considered important (shadowweaver ---- doing the same to catra that was done to her is so goddamn....it’s the story of this show. the simplicity and banality of damaging and hurting others and that carrying over to harm even more people - is the story of this show and it’s immeasurably frustrating and REALISTIC)

she still flinches at Hordak’s lashing out. but she imprints on him the exact lesson she’s trying to school herself in. If you don’t need anybody - you don’t want anyone - if nobody matters but the mission and winning - then you can’t be hurt. she wants to prove her worth - but she doesn’t realise that inherently means that she’s putting somebody in power over her - again and again and again.

mermista coming  in clutch with the braincells: there’s a spy! I love how this is played as completely implausible and just Mermista nonsense (who i love learning about) - while it’s so obviously true/

i actually love Adora when she’s being serious and heroic, or a huge dork. and she has the wit to RECOGNISE good ideas. but i just don’t understand why Adora is being big b about being used as a distraction. like....why?

i love that the underside of Mermista’s sneaker has a figure. but why the fuck is a common soldier with them (flatterina) and do they really think they can interrogate the whole castle filled with some shitty guards and...what - the guerilla troops they sometimes employ? where do they even live? ah in a tent city. ok

why is the GENERAL in front line combat WITHOUT SOLDIERS???? oh wait. glimmer did that too when she was general. lolololol

i understand why Adora doesn’t trust Shadowweaver and doesn’t want her around most of all - and Glimmer getting buddy buddy with her is hurtful. but...it’s not helpful to needle glimmer about it. but dismissing the guards around shadowweaver however? stupid of Glimmer. unnecessary. ‘what has she done but help us?’ - uhhhh she kidnapped you, corrupted your powers, almost wiped Adora’s mind. I wish Adora had summed up those things instead of leaving them implied.

so perfuma and mermista come across inconsistencies in the stories - but then. forget about it? i just...... UGGHGHGHGHGHGHGH. people really aren’t this dumb are they? they’re just NOT.

‘no more secrets and doing things without us’ - that was a good speech. but like, glimmer is right - she’s surrounded by INCOMPETENT IDIOTS lolololol. but good leadership is corralling idiots, Glimmer. not going off on your own. but she’s already planted the bait about the dining room.

‘we were the only ones who knew about the plan to take back dril’ ---- THEN WHY DID YOU INTERROGATE OTHER PEOPLE AHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHA

‘stop questioning my choices, stop whining about being a decoy’ YEAH FUCKIN HELL ADORA STOP BEING SUCH A FUCKING SHIT. IS THIS REALLY ‘TAKING CARE OF GLIMMER’????

‘all you do is question my authority, it’s exhausting.’ yeah god...it really is. adora needs to fucking BACK! OFF! but im loving these fights because it brings out the grievances. Adora is right to be worried about Glimmer no longer including her in her decisions. and she makes a good point that that’s bad. She makes a good point that Shadowweaver cannot be trusted. And Glimmer makes zero good points - except that it’s been hard for her and has garnered 0.1% understanding from the people around her. Oh they were working together. BUT those were definitely real grievances.

GLIMMER CAN ALREADY DO A CONTAINMENT SPELL LIKE THAT??? godDAMN. castapella completely flunked her responsibilities to Glimmer but shadowweaver did NOT.

hmmm so Solinius was....destroyed. but like, did the people die? like....the people? that’s the important bit isn’t it? i mean, they were under the sea right?

i suppose the problem i also have is that this show will NOT hurry up. normally i love filler stuff but ...the characters are too.....cheery. too flat. their quirks are fun and funny until they’re literally character flaws.

are the horde just literally attacking civilians? jezus. the war crimes. how did shadowweaver ever expect to trick Adora when she was released into the field?

‘you can’t just keep going off on your own!’ - SHE LITERALLY SAVED THE WHOLE FUCKING TOWN. SHE’S THE QUEEN! EVERYBODY SHOULD LISTEN TO HER! lolololol

the problem with Adora’s points is that everything about their dynamics are always so nebulous. why cant glimmer keep showing up to help out? WHY??? she’s the most capable fucking soldier in the field! she’s supposed to have full fucking authority! like, Adora isn’t in the right here. the problem is that her needling is only a symptom of her worries - which is that Glimmer doesn’t trust her any more. but the needling does NOTHING but make her seem like an idiot

i do love this trope reversal here - Seahawk deliberately damselling them to let the princesses save the boys? pffft

love catra getting the consequences for her actions regarding Scorpia. You can’t keep lashing out at people and expect them to stay my dear cat.....

oooohhh Glimmer.... you’re treading close to very hurtful territory. Blaming Adora for the Rebellion failing? for things she couldn’t do anything about? stupid.

really?? you’re really gonna fucking fight-resolution BLOCK ME? are you FUCKING kidding me? edging me for the whole GODDAMN SEASON??? and finally Adora cries at Glimmer going over the line????  fuckin I HATE the narrative decisions in this stupid show I FUCKING HATE THEM FUCK THESE WRITERS GOD FUKCING DAMMIT!!! this has been the whole GODDAMN SHOW!!!!!! ARGHGHGHGHGHGH

i’ve been waiting for a fucking resolution for Adora and Catra the whole! goddamn! SHOW! NOTHING! else matters! you do the exact same for glimmer and adora and now you let it fester again??? because of some no-stakes BULLSHIT? just give me the fucking godddamn PAYOFF for watching these kids be IDIOTS.

this fight on the boat is COOL and really wonderfully animated

really? Glimmer’s response to Adora being hurt and not wanting to be TOUCHED is to be angry herself? what a fucking IDIOT. god i can’t stand this. I CAN’T STAND IT

is this how people act? do they never take a moment to breathe and think and reflect and realise their priorities and take a step back and fucking apologise?

jezus FUCKING! CHRIST!

‘no matter what glimmer thinks of me’ oh that HURTED. oh damn. that’s so relatable. it’s a way to run, it’s a way to internalise the hurt and then prove the things that hurt wrong. the one that hurt you

I know Bo is supposed to be the emotionally intelligent one but he’s also too soft. He should go up to his friends individually and ask them the sharp questions. not - ‘communicate more positively’.

I just like Adora so much better when she’s alone. Her friendships’ positive moments are always so sappy or so....like over-exaggerated, the negative moments always so fucking annoying. Alone, Adora is generally driven, tragic, and cool. the problem is perhaps that i don’t care for the constant fucking drama

god i LOVE Mara so much - she’s so beautiful. and i LOVE learning more about the Old Ones. So they were trying to study Ehteria’s magic.... but then Bright Moon and the princesses were already here. The Magic-Like systems of the Old Ones are pure tech.

wow! even Mara’s transformation is way cooler.

so why was the first one’s tech (she ra) responsive to the magic? why does Raz know about She-Ra? when she ra is first ones tech????

WAIT ONE SECOND. She-Ra is ‘magic’ ??? it’s the SWORD that’s the first one’s tech! She-Ra is Etheria’s magic ! but how if the First Ones chose Mara. Did they steal She-Ra from Etheria?

so what im getting is that. the Old Ones colonised Etheria. Etheria has magic, and when Mara was chosen they made that girl an elite soldier - giving her a first one’s tech sword so she could ‘control’ Etheria’s magic. Then Mara was told to study the magic of Etheria - the ship implying that she’d not been on the planet before. then they created a Heart of Etheria project - which will probably turn the magic into a weapon. this was going to be used against Hordak Prime, im sure. I mean, Mara saved Etheria, but she did doom the rest of the universe to...extinction.... like, judging from Hordak’s strategy, Hordak Prime just literally exterminates planets and repopulates them with his clones....

But why would the planet choose a girl from amongst the colonisers - twice?

OOOHHH that anguished scream. i love anguished screams

why dont they put fucking safety belts in these ships. it’s not like the ship didn’t survive. only Mara got splatted (i guess)

also i love Mara. but damn Adora just got some more shit on her plate. why the fuck was she pushed through a portal again? for a She-Ra chain reaction?

I love madame Raz.

So they didn’t explicitly use it against Hordak Prime. and it wouldn’t have destroyed Etheria back then but it will now...

guh this showmakes it so hard to enjoy catra’s pain.

well they did finally have a good talk about it. I have to say, Glimmer is making good strategic sense - it’s just that this show only rewards harebrained schemes

Catra having a crazy panic attack cos she can’t find Scorpia and she’s completely lost and she knows its her fault. kinda love that for her. my heart

my dear Glimmer, theres a difference between absence of trust and absence of agreement.

they’re bringing king micah back just when angella is dead? oh fuckin lol

the horde....exiled micah? they exiled Micah instead of killing him???

why do they ALWAYS interrupt important conversations? i hate that shit. it’s cheap. it’s unsatisfying.

now THIS is what im here for - that unstoppable WILL!! john gonzalez is right - we watch stories for characters overcomign obstacles. writing, is creating the obstacle course. .....what does that say about me and my life....hmmm.

‘light hope told me everything i need to know’ - uhhh no she didn’t. she didn’t tell you how to harness the energy at all. ugh

how the fuck did double trouble escape. seems to me that they didn’t actually. they were let go....

it’s always so stupid when people try to tell other people: oh no you’ve got no plan - this is too risky! when that’s NEVER a problem

Glimmer is going to activate the weapon just in time for Hordak Prime to use it. And naturally she misses the return of her dad. fuck this

they’re gonna have Hordak and Catra fight? hmm

Double Trouble is right - this IS good for her - and it IS Catra - except for Shadowweaver’s case - she was an abusive bitch

I love Scorpia’s new cool fight music and also glowy eyes

is glimmer going to throw herself into lava??

the unfortunate thing is that Hordak Prime is right on the doorstep and he took over the whole universe or whatever. so they could probably have used that weapon. i mean the Old Ones must have seen something coming. there must be a reason they’re all GONE maybe????

why did Adora assume that all those stars would be destroyed?

THE ANIMATION ON THAT FINAL STUFF WAS INCREDIBLE AND EPIC

how the fukc are they going to beat Horde Prime lolololol.

i guess Glimmer really shouldn’t have done that. but at least she was in time to bond with Catra.

[shadowofmoths]

love thing: lgbt community, comic, books, shakespeare

lgbt community: i love that so many lgbt ppl are just,, able to express themselves and define/understand who they are in so many interesting ways? i love the thing about being lgbt where you just get to make your own rules about who you are and what your identity means to you. like i try and write down my gender vibes every day bc im figuring my shit out and sometimes its just shit like “gender: those old stone walls you find in the middle of the woods sometimes” and i love that shit

comic books: ok i know this isnt, like, universally the case, but there’s smth really special to me abt where comics are going rn? like OBVS some terrible shit also happens in comics but i also love that i can give my little sister, a black girl in elementary school, a comic book about a black girl in elementary school who is super intelligent and saving the world (moon girl and devil dinosaur, if yall are wondering). like its obvi very hit or miss but i feel like there are a lot of comics doing good things vis a vis representation? anyways bring the fucking young avengers back 

shakespeare: ugh ok i rlly just. not to be SAPPY but i appreciate how long-lasting shakespeare is, tbh? and how we’ve evolved our understanding of something that’s been around fr a couple hundred years as time’s gone on? like i know people will get all up in arms about like, ohh romeo and juliet isnt a love story but i also love that people are interpreting it in different ways? like maybe it is a love story, or maybe (like my theatre director thinks) it was meant to be more of a comedy than a tragedy, or maybe its something else!! and i love how well certain shakespeare passages just, stick w some ppl, and also like…ok like me wandering around my kitchen practicing The Hamlet Monologue like, when i do that i just kinda think of how many people have done that monologue! and how it means smth a little different to everyone!!! ah! 

[cryinggameff]

Sixty-nine

Randi

Cayden and his friends were drinking and doing god knows what else while watching the game. I had agreed to let him host the party here, which i was kind of regretting because they were loud as hell and it made it hard to take my mid day naps. I had left for a bit to go and pick up some groceries so i could make some food for them to eat plus some snacks and such and now i was back home. I walked past going to put the stuff in the kitchen.

“Baby, you back?” Cayden said, getting up and coming to the kitchen.

“Yeah, just went to target,” I said, taking stuff out of the bag.

“How’s my baby?” He put his arms around me to grab my belly.

“Active. He’s been jumping around all day,” I sighed. He moved his hand around.

“That’s because he’s a little baller. Or maybe a gymnast if it’s a girl.”

“Mmhm,” i said, putting my hand over his. Somebody scored and the guys got all excited. We both looked over. I started taking stuff out the bags. Cayden removed his hands and started going back to the living area. I glanced at him and saw his jaw was locked and arms flexed. I was confused. He walked up to Rambo and smacked him on the back of the head.

“Damn man!” Rambo jumped. He turned around and Cayden grabbed the blunt that he must have just lit out of his mouth.

“I told your slow ass not to be smoking in my house when my wife is pregnant. Are you dumb?  That’s my kid you fucking with bruh,”

“My bad Cayden, I forgot,” he said quickly. “I’m sorry man,” he said. Everyone else looked to see what Cayden was gonna do. I already knew what he was planning to do and considering he was China’s man and what not i couldn’t have them falling out or that would make things awkward for all of us. I put the milk I was holding down. I reluctantly intervened.

“It’s ok baby,” i said to him from the kitchen. He looked up at me and I gave him a look to calm down and of course he listened and backed down. He just put the blunt out and came to throw it out in the kitchen. He came up behind me and wrapped an arm around me again.

“Sorry,” He said by my ear just so I could hear.

“It’s ok,” I said, leaning up to kiss him. I wasn’t mad, after all he was right, it was bad for the baby. Cayden had stopped smoking, around the house anyways, all together. It was cute how concerned he was about the baby. He kissed my shoulder and I giggled.

“She’s already pregnant dog, give it a break,” ty said as he came strolling in to the kitchen to open the fridge. I blushed but laughed.

“Hey! I just got those,” I complained. But nobody was listening. He was long gone and they had broken into a play fight, crashing on to the floor and rolling around like children. “You’re 26 years old,” I grumbled, picking my rolls off the floor.

I made some stuff for the guys and then took my food upstairs to eat and watch some shows.

I ended up falling asleep after eating, but woke up a few hours later with terrible heart burn. That was happening a lot now. I would take it over being nauseous 24/7 like in the beginning, but it was still very uncomfortable. I went downstairs to go find some tums and realised Cayden and his friends were gone. I looked at my phone real quick and Cayden had texted me saying he was gonna go in to work. I got some tums and some milk and went back to the bedroom. I decided to give Cole a call because i hadn't talked to him in a while.

"Hi Colebear,"

"Hey lil mama. How you doing?" he asked.

"Im ok, just tired and sick all the time," i complained.

"That sounds horrible," he said. "How much longer you got anyways? Tryna make sure im there when the baby gets here."

"Still have like 4 months. Im ready for it to be over, and i just wanna hold my baby already." I groaned in frustration.

"When we gon find out if its a boy or girl? How am i supposed to buy them some swag if i dont know?"

"I was supposed to find out a while ago but i kept missing my appointments. Im going in a few days, should find out then."

"Word? aight keep me posted."

"I will," i said, "so whats up with you and Ty. He came to my house a week ago and from what he said yall had some drama when he visited." I was being nosy as usual.

"Aint no drama," he mumbled.

"What did you do?" i asked in an accusing tone. He sighed.

"I may have iced him out a little."

"Why?" i asked, confused.

"Things were getting...intense."

"Thats how a relationship works Cole," i pointed out.

"I know," he said simply. I smiled a little bit.

"I get it. I was the same way when Cayden and i started getting serious. It terrified me. It's scary to love someone."

"So what did you do?" He asked.

"Well Cayden didn't really give me an option to run. He followed me every time, " i laughed. "Eventually i just got tired of trying to run away and i just dove in. Now i'm married to the fool and carrying his baby."

"Diving in sounds terrifying."

"It is," i bit my lip, thinking back to when Cayden and i were still dating. "But its worth it."

"Ugh. I cant with this sappy shit right now. Im bout to go to practice and i dont need to be in my feelings while tackling a bunch of dudes."

"Okay fine, ill drop it for now. But you need to just accept you love him and move on. Don't overthink it," i said seriously.

"okay mom."

"Oh God, can you imagine someone is gonna be calling me that soon," i said, more to myself.

"I can see you as a mom. You always taking care of people or helping them fix their lives, even when they didnt ask," he laughed.

"What can i say, i dont know how to mind my business," i shrugged.

"Lowkey im the same," he said. "But i gotta go."

"Okay babe, have a good practice. Ill talk to you later." He said bye and then i hung up.

Cayden

"Yo, How's the shipment going?" I asked him, referring to a deal i had going with Sean. He was organising the order while i handled the logistics and such.

"Man i don't think we have enough here. We gotta bring some from the other warehouse. I was gonna call Pat but i wanted to run it by you," he got up and i followed him out to the balcony looking down to the rest of the warehouse. It was busy with niggas at work like usual, organised by product.

"What he want?" i asked.

"Coke mostly, but he talking about he got some guy wants a bunch of crystal. We got 10, 20 pound max here," he said, nodding at the back of the room where the guys were breaking and weighing a fresh batch.

"Who the fuck wants to buy that much crystal?" My brows came together.

"Man who knows, thats your boy, ask him. Im just saying, thats pretty much all our supply from both warehouses, and we have one cook" he said. I nodded because he was right, but that wasn't my biggest concern. It was just weird to me that Sean was suddenly moving crystal when he had never before. I couldn't help think back to the time Randi asked if Sean could be trusted and wondered if she was on to something.

"Dont call Pat. Not yet anyways. Imma have a little meeting with Sean first," i decided.

"Got it," he nodded.

"By the way, thanks for checking on Randi while i was gone," i said. He shrugged.

"Uncle duties and what not," he smirked, "how she doing anyways? You weren't playing when you said she was emotional."

"She tired all the time, i feel bad. She go off on you?" I laughed.

"Nah, just crying and shit. I don't know how you do it."

"Ill take crying over when she gets angry."

"True," Ty nodded. I checked my watch.

"I gotta go find Keisha, i need her to get Sean here. I aint going to Cali, i just got back," i looked around a bit.

"She was here with Kassie earlier, training and what not. How you get her to come back anyways?" he raised a brow.

"I begged," i chuckled. " Why? you still got a crush on her? Thought you were all about the D now."

"Fuck you Cayden," he said, turning to go back to his office. I laughed and went off to find Keisha.

I ended up just calling Keisha from my office and she came up.

"Hey, sorry, Kassie was showing me around. She just left," she said.

"It's all good. I need you to do something for me though. 2 things actually."

"Sure, what is it?" she pulled out a pen and notepad.

"I need you to get Sean here. ASAP."

"Got it," she nodded.

"Also i need you to book me a trip, for 2. Jamaica, not business. Anytime in the next month or so," i looked up from my phone calendar.

"I'll get right on it..." she paused. "It's sweet. I mean, im assuming it's for your wife."

"Yeah it is. Gotta keep her happy," i shrugged. She smiled. Then she seemed to remember something and pulled out her phone

"Oh before i forget, the accountant is coming tomorrow. Just a reminder. Also, your calendar says its Ty's birthday soon, do you want me to arrange anything?"

"Remind me an hour before tomorrow. Get a gift for me, Randi is doing the rest. She throws unnecessary parties, its kind of her thing," i rolled my eyes.

"Okay then. Ill go start on this," she said, turning for the door.

"How was the training by the way?" i asked. Kassie had been here the whole time i was gone, showing her the ropes

"Good. She was really nice. She had a lot of great things to say about you. But i'm not surprised, you're a nice guy Cayden. I cant tell you how much this job means to me, my son too," she brushed her golden curls aside. "I mean i made decent money at the club, but...this is a lot better," she bit her lip. I nodded.

"You should have called me, I always cared about you Keisha," i smiled at her gently seeing her get emotional. She was all tough exterior, it was rare to see this side of her.

"I was embarrassed," she shrugged.

"You aint gotta be. How people make money is none of by business. Bur don't worry, i pay my assistants a lot. You gotta put up with my ass, just wait, you'll be sick of me soon." She laughed.

"Thanks Cayden," she smiled.

"You're welcome," i said simply. She left and closed the door behind her.

Once she was gone i called Randi to check on her.

Randi

Cayden called me just after id gotten off with Cole. He asked how i was and then he was telling me about what he was doing and when he would be home. Then i heard someone talking in the background, it wasn't a guy though, it was a female voice.

“Who is that” I said.

“Who’s who?” He asked. I sat up straighter in the bed chair.

“The chick talking in the back ground,” i said. I couldn't think of any reason for there to be a girl in his office at the warehouse. I knew there were a few girls who were involved in selling and what not but Cayden didn't spend time talking to pedlars or people lower in the chain, he handled all the big time stuff. I started to wonder if he wasn't really at the warehouse but i didn't see why he would lie.

“Keisha,” he said, as if that meant anything. “My assistant.”

“When did you get an assistant? You don’t like anyone, how’d you even pick someone.”

“I told you months ago that I needed an assistant baby,” he reminded me. This was true but still.

“Hm,” I said simply.

“So we good then? I’ll see you in a few hours,” he said.

“Okay,” i said, hanging up. I had been too annoyed to say bye or I love you.

Why would he get an assistant without telling me? If that even was his assistant. I knew there was always random girls walking around that definitely weren’t assistants, the business kind anyways. I wondered what this Keisha girl was assisting Cayden with and my blood started to boil. I tried to not be this person but pregnancy also had me a bit mentally unstable and I wasn’t particularly confident right now. Was Cayden fooling around with another girl because i was becoming the size of a whale? I panicked and started to get up off the bed and pulled on a sweater.

I wasn’t really sure what I was doing until i was driving for 20 minutes and leaving the city to go towards the warehouse. I never came here on my own and I started to second guess myself as I pulled up and security immediately posted up. I got out of the car and locked it. One of the guys looked familiar though and I was pretty sure I’d seen him before.

“Are you lost shawty?” Another guy said, licking his lips in a disgusting way and looking down at me. I was about to release all my fury on him when the familiar guy spoke up.

“That’s Cayden’s wife you idiot” he said. The previous guy shrunk back.

“My bad,” he said quickly, head down.

“Should i get Cayden for you?” The familiar guy asked. I shook my head.

“I know my way,” I said, motioning to the door. They paused but moved out of the way. I adjusted my cardigan and went in. People stared at me because i rarely came period let alone on my own. Also I was pretty pregnant now which drew attention. I went upstairs to the offices and stopped in front of Cay’s. I debated whether or not to knock then decided against it. I opened the door and walked in.

Cayden looked up and his face went very confused when he saw me. He was in the chair and a girl stood beside him, bent over and pointing to the computer screen.

“Randi? What the fuck are you doing here?” He said. My face must not have looked happy because he quickly got up. “I mean is everything ok? Is it the baby?” He came over and put a hand to my lower back. I immediately checked his hand for the wedding band which was there.

“The baby’s fine,” I said, looking him over for lipstick, makeup, anything.

“What’s going on then?” He asked. I looked up at the girl standing and starring at us. Cayden looked up. “Keisha can you give me a minute with my wife,” she stood for a minute looking which was strange but then she shuffled out. I was looking around his office looking for any signs of anything messy when Cayden put a hand to my cheek. “Baby, What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” I mumbled, feeling like the biggest fool.

“You drove all the way up here for nothing. Nah,” he shook his head. I choked up, I couldn’t say I came because I thought you were cheating.

“I don’t feel good,” I lied. I did feel sick to my stomach all of a sudden but more out of guilt. Guilty that I’d thought he’d do something like that and also because the way he looked worried now that he thought I was sick.

“Maybe I should take you to the hospital,” he said, feeling my forehead.

“No I’ll be okay,” I said quickly. “I think I just need to go home,”

“I’ll take you,” He said “someone will come pick me up after.” I agreed. He held me all the way out of his office and down the stairs. Once we got in the car I was still thinking about the fact that he got an assistant and didn’t tell me. That was still sketchy, cheating or not.

“How do you know her?” I asked.

“Keisha?” He asked. I waited for him to lie because honestly I already knew the truth. I was simply testing him.  “Being 100, we used to fuck but it was a long time ago, and we were actually friends.”

“So is that why you didn’t tell me?” I asked.

“This about to be a problem isn’t it?” He asked. “Wait? Is that why you drove all the way down here?” Well shit.

“Well I heard a girl in your office,” I said, defending myself. He turned to face me then.

“And you automatically assumed I was what? Cheating?” He looked upset. I was supposed to be the one angry. “You don’t even trust me huh? Still,” he shook his head. When he put it like that he made it sound bad.

“It’s not like that-“

“What’s it like? You came running, so that’s what you thought.”

“Well...” I started. “Normally I wouldn’t be scared but look at me,” i gestured at myself. “I don’t look tight and right at the moment. And don't eve play me like you didn't just hire a girl you used to sleep with and not tell your wife about it.”

“You’re insane Randi. You’ve lost your mind. I ain’t even gon fight you cause you carrying my kid.” I got frustrated and was fighting the urge to break into tears so i just glared out the window for the ride home.

[ineverhadmyinternetphase]

And it’s all gonna be wonderful

AO3 Link

Genre: Oneshot, part of QPR verse, fluff

Summary: Fiction. Dan knows he and Phil are 'together'. There's no doubt in his mind about that. He's just... not quite sure how exactly to situate what they are, and especially not when something as stressful as Valentine's Day was coming up.

Warnings: literally just fluff

Word Count: 3899

A/N: Updating QPR verse finally :D I originally wanted to have this up for Valentine's Day itself, but life got in the way as ever so it's slightly late.

Thank you so much to @mecaka for being such a wonderful beta, as ever! And for interesting perspectives on ace people at Valentine's Day.

And finally, this is for my wonderful QPP @charlottekath, happy birthday my lovely, I know you've already read this but pretend to be surprised ok xD

Title from Tom Rosenthal's 'Going to be Wonderful'

Reminder that I don’t know Dan or Phil at all and I’m not suggesting this in any way reflects reality. This is a work of fiction

…

It was almost February 14th, and Dan was terrified.

The date shouldn’t mean anything, really, he’d had enough of trashy gifts and sappy songs from his teen years, three years with the girl who’d been more like a best friend than anything. His life was different now, had changed completely, and it wasn’t just down to his starting at uni. Much as that was a new thing in his life, the bigger change, Dan thought guiltily, was the presence of Phil.

Phil changed everything. Dan knew this, was worried by it more than anything. Sometimes he still got stuck in twisting thoughts, nights spent alone at halls where doubts about what he and Phil really were crept in.

The other times, the times with Phil, it didn’t matter at all. When they were curled up together, holding hands, or when he managed to squeeze himself between Phil’s legs with his back against Phil’s chest and Phil’s arms around him, Dan felt more safe and comfortable than he’d ever felt in his life. The ever-present worry that he’d have to do something more to deserve this happiness dissipated in the softness of Phil’s touch, in the lightness of his laugh. Sometimes, it was even enough to stop Dan’s thoughts from spiralling down into dark places he’d rather avoid.

But sometimes, real life kicked him in the teeth. Like the upcoming date.

February 14th.

Last year, it hadn’t mattered so much. There hadn’t really been much pressure – he and Phil weren’t living in the same city yet, had only really been ‘official’ (as much as they were) for a few months at best. Dan hadn’t even been in the country. He hadn’t planned anything for it, though the thought had crossed his mind, but Phil – Phil surprised him all over again by sending him the sweetest video, just kept between the two of them.

Dan remembered it with a fond smile on his face. It had cemented for him that whatever he and Phil had was good enough as it was, and he’d managed to stop worrying so much about putting a label on it. They just were, and that was enough.

But this year, something horrible had shifted in Dan’s gut, a twisting knot that had its origins in a casual conversation held earlier in the week.

Dan didn’t like his flatmates much. They were alright people, but after a gap year full of internet friends and international holidays he’d got used to being around people he didn’t have to hide his nerdier side from. Being stuck in uni halls with a bunch of people he’d never met and had little in common with was a shock back to reality that he wasn’t very much enjoying.

“You coming out on Monday?” Craig, one of the guys on his floor, asked in the kitchen one evening.

There was a group of them. Dan was tucked in the corner desperately trying not to set his pasta on fire this time, cooking himself a quick meal for a rare time that he wasn’t at Phil’s.

“Don’t think so,” Jessica answered with a shrug, “It’s Valentine’s Day, think Jason’s taking me out.”

“Ugh.” Craig made a face. “That means all the soppy couples will be busy, ugh.” He glanced around, sighing theatrically. “Alex, you won’t leave me, right?”

“Sorry, mate, got plans with my coursemates.”

“Ugh.” Craig’s eyes landed on Dan and he smirked. “Of course, you’ll be out with Mystery Older Man, won’t you?”

Dan grimaced, slipping when he nearly burned his hand on the hob.

“Oh yeah,” Alex chimed in, “You have to let us meet him eventually. He taking you out somewhere nice, sky bar again?”

“Bet he’s got something real fancy planned,” Craig agreed with a wicked tint to his eyes.

“No,” Dan managed eventually, shrinking in on himself. “Don’t think so, anyway. He’s going to London the day after, he’ll probably be busy packing.”

That was a lie. Phil was a messy, late packer, not quite as bad as Dan was but still not great. Dan had learned this from their many trips across the country the past year, as well as flying out with him to E3. But it was true that he was travelling down to London the day after Valentine’s Day, leaving Dan alone for a few days. Dan wasn’t sure what to make of the timing of the trip. It was a work thing, he knew, Phil was doing several interviews and shows outside of his Youtube channel right now, which was still so much more successful than Dan’s.

Yet another thing for Dan to feel insecure about.

“I doubt it,” Jessica snorted in response to Dan. “Mystery Older Man always seems to make time for you, I swear you live more at his place than here.”

Dan gave a nervous laugh in response. The statement was truer than he’d like to admit.

“If you don’t have any plans, he’s probably going to surprise you,” Craig added wisely, and then grimaced. “Probably with something drastic and super romantic, ugh, I’m going to be so alone.”

The others all chuckled, but Dan felt something sharp twisting in his gut.      

He escaped back to his room as fast as he could with a bowl of half-heated pasta and a sad, shop-bought sauce, and folded himself up in his desk chair to start watching the newest video clips Phil had sent him. The fanboy in him had mostly subsided over the past year of actually getting to know Phil, of realising that he was just as human as Dan and had annoying habits too like leaving his socks everywhere and grumbling at Dan for using almost all the body wash every time he was over, but part of Dan still curled up happily whenever Phil sent him clips to look over. It was like a spy into the world of amazingphil, which was something Dan still treasured, as much as he knew he was part of it now.

He ate his pasta and watched the clips and tried to ignore the twisting in his gut. But the worries continued running through his mind.

Craig didn’t know them, Dan knew this. There was a reason he was keeping Phil separate from his uni life at the moment. It was exhausting, being around a group of people and having to pretend to be something he wasn’t, he didn’t want to drag Phil into that too. Never mind that Dan wasn’t sure how he was supposed to act around Phil when there were other people with them. Would they be expected to kiss? Make out?

Dan grimaced at even the thought.

Would Craig and the others still think Phil was going to lavish him for Valentine’s Day if they knew that he and Phil had only kissed once, and then firmly decided never again?

Dan tried to push the thoughts away, too used to them to truly be bothered anymore. He knew what Phil would say – it doesn’t matter what they think, Dan, they don’t know us, and we know what we are. The difficulty was, Dan still felt like he didn’t really know what he was, actually. He had no doubts that he and Phil were together, but—but he still didn’t really know what to call it, and sometimes that bothered him.

Valentine’s Day was just adding to that worry. Dan bit his lip, trying to focus on the clip he was currently watching whilst simultaneously typing up a commentary to email back over to Phil. Would Phil really be planning to surprise him? Dan didn’t think so, but then, they’d never really talked about Valentine’s Day together, and Phil did have a habit of spoiling him with surprises (the sky bar on their first meeting, for one).

In the end, Dan just grabbed his phone and sent Phil a text. He’d learned, or was learning, that when his thoughts got too twisted and overrun, sharing them with Phil made him feel a little lighter.

Dan: hey you doing anything monday?

The reply came back pretty instantly, which made Dan smile, imagining Phil sitting in a pile of blankets in his bed on the other side of the city.

Phil: no are you suggesting something?

Dan: not necessarily

Phil: ?

Dan stared at the innocent-looking question mark for several seconds, biting his lip. Did Phil even know the date on Monday? Did he know it was the 14th, that Dan was freaking out over whether or not he should be doing something for Phil? Or that Phil was secretly planning something for him, and Dan had no idea how to react?

Letting out a long breath, Dan typed out a response.

Dan: nvm im being dumb

He didn’t want to type it out over text. Besides, his thoughts were far too muddled to even begin trying to string them into a sentence.

Dan settled back into the clips with a shake of his head, trying to kick his worry to the back of his mind. It helped when Phil replied quickly again.

Phil: k well can’t wait to see you again :D :D <3

Despite the slightly sour taste of anxiety, Dan still softened at the text. The string of emojis was very Phil, and Dan could almost hear the text in his voice. It was comforting. Dan relaxed a little and turned back to the clips with renewed gentleness.

Valentines’ Day was just a stupid holiday. Dan was being ridiculous worrying about it.

After that, Dan and Phil spent a couple of days at Bryony and Wirrow’s, and Dan still pinched himself to remind himself that yes, he was now friends with actual paperlilies. She was far more brash in real life than he’d expected, but over the summer he’d found he actually liked that about her. Never mind that she and Phil got along like a house on fire.

While there, Valentine’s Day wasn’t even brought up once, and Dan found himself forgetting about it.

But now, it was the day before, and Dan was freaking out all over again.

Even his phone reminder was dinging that it was Valentine’s Day tomorrow, and Phil still hadn’t mentioned anything. The idea that he might be planning something secretly plagued Dan’s mind. Did that mean he should be prepared? Should he be doing something back for Phil? Or was nothing going on at all, and Dan was just freaking out over nothing?

The logical thing to do would be to talk to Phil, but Dan had tried that earlier in the week with no success. Besides, if it was a surprise Phil was planning then he wouldn’t tell him anyway.

Dan worried his lower lip with his teeth, biting down viciously. He didn’t know what to do. He hated this indecision, this hanging on, worrying about something that might not even matter. Would he mind, if Phil had something planned? Would he mind more if Phil didn’t?

Dan considered that last thought, narrowing his eyes as he lay sprawled across his bed in halls. He’d been at Phil’s the day before, and was going back the day after – he’d only returned to his room to attempt some uni work (which Dan would much rather not think about). He thought about Monday morning rolling around and Phil not having anything special planned – Dan showing up at his flat and it just being another, normal day.

That would be alright, wouldn’t it?

Dan’s stomach tightened. A strange wave of regret washed over him – regret that Monday might roll around and nothing would happen. Sure, it was Valentine’s Day, a ridiculous holiday in most ways, and yet…

And yet, Dan still kind of wanted to celebrate it.

Not in the way everyone else did. Not with candles and overpriced presents and kisses, because yuck. But… but he still wanted to spoil Phil. And to have some kind of reassurance, some semblance of normality to their relationship. If they celebrated Valentine’s Day the same as any other couple, that would be a strange kind of validation that Dan was annoyed he still craved.

But what if Phil didn’t feel the same way?

Well, it wasn’t necessarily Phil that had to give the surprise.

Dan could just as easily surprise him, too.

Once he’d made that decision, Dan found himself surprisingly relaxing. Tension washed out of his muscles and he flopped back on his bed, head hanging off the end, blowing out a gusty sigh. He’d show Phil. He’d show Phil (and himself) that their relationship was just as valid as anyone else’s.

Except it was a fucking Sunday and Dan hadn’t got anything yet and the shops wouldn’t be open for much longer. With a yelp, he jumped to his feet, grabbed his bag and shoes and keys, and legged it out of the door.

---

Monday morning, Dan left his halls with his rucksack slung over his shoulder, nerves jumping in his belly and a shout from Craig that almost soured the whole thing.

“Good luck, Dan! Have fun with your boyfriend and try and at least get some sleep tonight in between banging him, yeah?”

This followed by a lecherous cackle as Craig disappeared into the kitchen.

Dan tried to force out a laugh back past the waves of nausea that flowed through him. Craig didn’t know him and Phil, he reminded himself. Dan didn’t have to listen to him.

If only that was easier to internalise.

He hopped on the bus across the city to Phil’s, avoiding eye contact with other people, his rucksack hanging precariously off one shoulder. He held onto the strap though, biting his lip. He really, desperately hoped that this wouldn’t all backfire on him, his stomach tightening at the thought. Phil’s reaction was completely unknown. Dan didn’t like walking into the unknown.

But, he knew, somewhere deep within himself, that he needed this.

The walk up to Phil’s apartment building was grossly familiar by now, so Dan didn’t even have to think as his feet led him straight to the door. His stomach, however, jumped more and more the closer he got.

Dan was being ridiculous. He’d been with Phil over a year. There was no need to fear rejection anymore, he knew that but… but he couldn’t quite make his mind realise that it didn’t need to be in a constant state of worry.

Dan pressed the buzzer with his heart in his mouth.

Phil, of course, buzzed him in straight away, only making some kind of cawing animal noise through the speaker. Dan shook his head, murmuring to himself. “One day you’re going to get overheard, Phil Lester, and someone in a white coat is going to arrive to take you away.”

He took the lift with the buzzing of nerves making his gut twist and actually took a few deep breaths to keep himself calm. There was absolutely no reason for him to be getting as worked up over this as he was, and yet something about this entire thing was setting him on edge. He still didn’t even really know if he was doing the right thing – but the only way to find out was to do it.

Dan had never been the best at being impulsive.

He knocked on Phil’s door, and spent the few seconds it took him to answer swallowing down the butterflies trying to escape his stomach.

The door swung open and Phil beamed at him, arms open, reaching out to drag him over the threshold. He was still in his pyjamas. “Hey! You’re early today, not that I’m complaining, but I haven’t had breakfast yet so you’re gonna have to wait for me to have that before you beat me at Mario Kart again.”

“Yeah, sure. That’s fine.” Dan’s voice was a bit stiff.

Phil noticed, giving him an odd look.

“It’s nothing,” Dan said quickly before he could ask. “Just. Look. Wait.”

“Stop, look, and listen?” Phil teased, but his expression was curious.

Dan twisted, sliding his rucksack off his back. The present within felt way heavier than it should do, laden with everything he was worried of attaching to it, and he almost hesitated.

But he was here now, wasn’t he, and Phil was looking at him with curious eyes.

Dan pursed his lips, drew in a breath, and bit the metaphorical bullet.

“Ok, so.” He stepped back, dropped his bag behind him, present gripped between his fingers. “This might be a totally bad idea. You can say no. Full disclosure, in fact, you probably want to say no so if you’d rather I just put this back away again--”

“Dan,” Phil interrupted him gently, “You’re rambling.”

“Oh.” Dan squeezed his hands behind his back, took in another slow breath. This was a bad idea. All his instincts were currently screaming at him to backpedal as fast as possible, but Phil was still looking at him with a distinctly curious, if slightly confused, look on his face, and Dan had always been powerless to giving Phil what he wanted. Phil did the same back, of course, but… still, Dan was weak.

“It isn’t much,” Dan said finally, and brought his hands around to the front to reveal a little teddy bear with holding a heart. “It isn’t even something you’d want, tbh. But everything in the shops is like this right now, and, well…”

He was interrupted by Phil making cooing noises and reaching out for the bear.

Dan stopped, blinking. Slowly, he held it out, and Phil took it off him with a soft, fond-looking smile.

Dan’s heart picked up a little in his chest.

“It’s adorable, Dan.” Phil’s eyes were still soft and heartwarming. Dan was melting a little. “And so soft! What’s it for, though?”

And all of a sudden Dan felt like a bucket of ice cold water was thrown over him again. He swallowed stiffly. This was a stupid idea, he should have known it.

Phil was clutching the bear to his chest a little possessively, though, so Dan couldn’t have fucked up too badly, right?

“It’s Valentine’s Day,” Dan finally managed to say around the lump in his throat.

“Oh.” Phil’s gaze snapped up to look at him, and Dan’s heart sunk to his feet.

“Sorry,” he croaked out to dodge Phil’s gaze. “Look, we didn’t talk about it and I don’t even know if it’s something we should do, like - it’s a stupid commercial holiday anyway, it’s honestly kind of gross, but everyone back at halls was talking about it and Craig kept going on about you--”

“Me?” Phil interrupted him again, and Dan chanced a glance up to find Phil was grinning. “Your cool older boyfriend, full of smooth lines and teller of the best jokes?”

“Fuck off,” Dan shot back, but something inside him loosened, especially when Phil laughed softly. “‘Course not. More like - they just assumed we’d be doing something? Only you hadn’t said anything, and I felt kind of weird about it anyway, but…”

He trailed off, and Phil didn’t fill the silence. Instead, he watched quietly while Dan gathered his thoughts.

Dan loved that about him, really he did.

“I don’t know,” Dan finally said quietly. “Valentine’s is supposed to be about celebrating the person most important to you, right? And you’re the most important to me, so.”

“Aww.” Phil hummed, glancing from Dan to the bear and then back to Dan. “That’s so thoughtful, Dan. Who knew that somewhere in there you could be sweet.”

“Fuck off.” Dan shoved his hands in his pockets and stared at the ground, feeling a little awkward. “I just. I don’t know, I wasn’t sure it would be… like, appropriate?”

“Appropriate?” Phil asked, tilting his head. “How so?”

“Like.” Dan paused for a moment, pursing his lips, and then went to sit on Phil’s (tiny) couch. “It’s Valentine’s. That’s all lovey-dovey mushy stuff, half of which we don’t even do anyway, plus it’s something that I always felt kind of obligated to do as a teenager - which was really just kind of awkward?”

“Well, I hope you didn’t feel obligated for me.” A crease appeared in Phil’s brow.

Dan shook his head, though. “No, not really. Not you. More just, like - everyone is celebrating their significant other and I don’t have one in the same way they do.”

“You calling me not good enough?” Phil joked, but paused when Dan’s face fell. He tilted his head. “Hey, Dan. I’m joking, you know that, right? What we have is just as good as what they all do.”

“It’s better,” Dan disagreed. “This way, I never have to kiss anyone ever again. That is such a relief, you have no idea.”

Phil laughed. The sound loosened up the lasting tension clutching at Dan, eased him up enough to let out a breath. Phil came and sat next to him on the sofa and Dan instantly leaned into him, resting his head against Phil’s shoulder and sighing happily when Phil wound an arm around his waist.

With his other hand, Phil settled the bear on Dan’s lap and made it give him a wave. “For the record, though, I like him. Valentine’s might not fit us perfectly but I’m still glad you thought of me.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Makes me a bit bad for not getting you anything, though.”

“Don’t worry.” Dan closed his eyes, leaned into Phil’s chest. “You can take me out for fancy dinner to make up for it.”

“I spoil you.”

“You do,” Dan agreed, “it’s one of the reasons I even bother sticking around.”

Phil pinched his side, huffing, but Dan just swatted him away and leaned into him further. “Later. You can take me out later. Resting now.”

“Alright, you spoiled brat, let me at least grab my laptop.”

---

Later, Phil took him to a restaurant closer towards town. It was filled to the brim with other couples, holding hands and kissing and sharing sweet, soft looks. Dan held back for a moment by the doorway, sure that someone was going to look at him and Phil and call them fakers, call out their relationship out for being a facade when Dan knew it was the absolute opposite of that, the most genuine thing he’d felt in his life, even -

“Dan.” Phil caught his hand, gave it a squeeze. “You sure you want to do this?”

Dan looked at him, at his concerned expression, and then through the glass windows to the fancy restaurant full of all its fawning couples. He and Phil had a place with them, if they wanted it.

And Dan decided that, yes, for this day, he really did want it. Perhaps he shouldn’t need the validation, but sometimes he wanted to join in something that gave them equal status to other, more conventional couples. Because they were a couple. Over a year together had made him more sure of that than anything.

“Yeah,” he answered, interlocking his fingers with Phil’s. “Let’s go in, shall we?”

Phil held the door for him, like the gentleman that he was, and Dan’s smile grew. He was content.

[wewillalwaysendhere]

Your Smile Belongs To Me pt. 1

Jimin was sprawled on the couch phone in one hand as he looked through comments left by fans on the groups latest Inkigayo performance. By now it had come to his attention that many fans were going crazy over the interaction that he had with Jeongguk on the 21st Century girls stage.

Jikook, the one word that brought an unexplainable giddy smile to Jimin's face, kept popping up in almost every comment.

Although Jimin loved his dongsaeng alot it did not quite explain why he felt the need to watch the video several times just to see the adorable moment all over again.

He did admit to himself, however, that the way Jeongguk's face scrunched up cutely the moment they layed their heads against each other made a warm feeling grow in his chest.

Jimin couldn't help but chuckle at some of the fan's enthusiasm over this small skinship though. He felt that it was such a small action to fuss over, but if it made the fans so happy, he wouldn't mind doing more fanservice.

Most comments were innocently pointing out the Jikook moment but of course there were those that were so lewd and explicit they made him go wide eyed and red in the face.

Meanwhile, the other boy of said ship, stood near the hallway leading to the main room watching as Jimin would scroll through his phone giggling and blushing like a teenage girl.

'What the hell? Why is he being so disgustingly sappy right now?' he thought. 'He is only ever like that when I compliment him.'

"What are you laughing at Jiminie?" Jeongguk tried to mask the annoyance in his voice with the sweet nickname, but failed miserably.

Jimin froze at the sound of Jeongguk's aggravated voice. His presence further deepening the shade of scarlet blooming on Jimin's plump, cherub cheeks.

Jimin slowly lifted his head, Jeongguk stood there just a few feet away all ready for another session of late night practice. His right hand tightly fisting one of the backpack straps slung over his shoulder and left hand tightly clutching his phone.

"Oh, Jeongguk-ah I didn't hear you come in."

"Obviously," You were too busy giggling at whatever's on your phone,"what are you laughing at?"

Jimin looked down at the phone still in his hands fiddling around with it a few times before replying shakily,"U-uh n-nothing, let's get going so we can come back before it gets too late."

"Yeah ok sure, but first tell me what you were laughing at," Jeongguk demanded, suddenly determined to find out what had his hyung  grinning and blushing like a fool.

"I'll tell you later, let's go."

"Aish! Come on hyung what were you laughing at?"

"Oh my god, it's nothing! It's not even funny!"

"Then it shouldn't hurt to tell me."

Jimin squinted his eyes at the maknae and childishly whispered an indignant,

"No."

"Well, im not moving from this spot until you tell me what you were laughing at."

"My name is muscle pig Jeongguk and I'm being a little brat right now disrespecting my hyung even though he was born is Busan first." He mimicked him in a high pitched voice

"Omg! Is this really that important?"

"Very."

After a few seconds of silent staring, Jungkook lifted an eyebrow expectantly and began to tap his foot agaist the wooden floor.

One thing was for sure, Jimin  was never not even in a million years, ever going to confess to fangirling over their own ship.

"Gguk-ah let's just go," Jimin was pleading at this point.

Jimin was trying to formulate a reasonable excuse when he was suddenly struck with the idea of teasing his way out of this situation.

"Ugh~ fiiine, I was laughing at you." Jimin said exasperated, all the while rolling his eyes in a mocking manner.

"Yeah right, whatever, since you won't tell me I guess I'll just go practice by myself then."

He stomped his foot like a three year old, turned around and trampled out of the dorm not even bothering to close the door properly.

Jimin gaped at the spot in which the younger boy had stood, beyond shocked by Jeongguk's  absurd attitude.

Jimin blinked a few more times before finally collecting himself and groaned standing up to close the door opting to give Jeongguk some time to cool off. He threw himself back onto the couch and tried to stop any thoughts that would cause him to run after the upset maknae.

_________________________

Meanwhile, Jeongguk was beating himself up over his seemingly unreasonable actions.

'Stupid Jeongguk! Why am I so mad anyways? Jimin doesn't have to smile at me only. I don't own him. How the hell am I suppose to talk to him now, he probably thinks I'm on my man period or something.'

He kept on mumbling all the way to the studio. So distracted he collided with a light post and even went as far as apologizing to it.

A red bump now decorated his forehead and any incentive he had to dance had been lost. So, he sat against a mirrored wall sulking and pouting, the irrational anger he had felt back at the dorms had dissipated and left in its wake a feeling of disappointment and hurt.

Jeongguk asked himself why he felt so much hurt and anger at the thought of Jimin being with someone that wasn't him. He desperately wanted to blame his jealousy on their strong friendship but Jungkook knew for a while now that the feelings he had towards his hyung were anything but friendly.

He had caught himself staring one too many times, sometimes it was at the the way Jimin's bottom lip would tremble whenever he sighed, often times it was the manner in which Jimin danced.

If Jeongguk had to use a word to describe it he would use the word filthy. Filthy because, the style was so sensual and exotic, slow yet sharp, so meticulous and effortless, it never failed to leave Jeongguk breathless and with a pounding heart.

The singer had stared at Jimin's face so much he began to notice small things. Small insignificant things like one of Jimin's eyes being slightly smaller than the other and how it would droop when the dancer was exceptionally tired.

He recalled the story behind that eye, the story in which a small boy accidentally hit his eye against the edge of a toilet and had to get stitches in order to stop the bleeding. It somehow brought a small smile to face.

'That is such a Jimin way to get hurt,' he thought chuckling to himself.

But Jungkook especially thought about the way Jimin's lips would stretch into a smile so big it caused those deep alluring eyes of his to be replaced by half moons. Jimin's smile had easily become Jeongguk's favorite feature of the other. He felt a strong sense of possessiveness towards it.

Jungkook not only wanted to be the only one able to see that smile but also the only cause of it. He adored it so much he wished he could some how put it in a bottle just so he could hear the tinkling sound of Jimin's childlike laugh whenever he wished to.

Jeongguk was aware of what these thoughts entailed but acknowledging them meant going down a dangerous path he was not yet ready to face.

Deep down he also knew that his feelings meant nothing. They would probably not matter to Jimin anyway.

Jimin loved him that was for sure, it just wasn't in a way that went past loving a little brother. So until today Jungkook had unconsciously pushed his feelings to the side, ignoring any desire he might have for the older.

[riskeith]

i couldn’t stop smiling reading your last message i’m literally so happy atm. you’re so cute and i’m SO happy. i reread it three times and giggled so loud my brother asked why i was laughing... 🥺 he’s in the next freaking room 🥺

sappiness aside: YES!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE? i wish i could give my luck to you as you deserve it much more ): it’s true but it’s still important if you wanna do well in combat sadly haha dhdydbjdnd like you said it’s very inconvenient to have a unbalanced team but i decided that i’m just gonna switch around with the characters i have when it’s needed yk? they’re all mostly around the same levels so it works fine rn.. or it will until i have to focus on who i want to focus on ascending when i get to higher levels bc payments and materials and all.. sigh there’s so much to think about with too many cute characters... anyway how many rolls have you done since you started playing? do you remember?

OH???? is it easier on pc? i’ve always enjoyed smaller consoles tbh (like switch or even phone) bc it’s easier to focus so it wasn’t that difficult for me. but like you said it might just be a ‘getting used to it’ thing. also now that you’ve seen both; which differences are there in the game? are you gonna have two different accs?

i did restart it from the first ep!!! i figured i might as well get the ~full~ experience. it’s been a while too so it’s like a new experience but not rly? it’s like traveling back to your home country and you’re like wow... i belong here even if i’m not here all the time dhsjsjdhfh bad example but you know what i mean?i’ll keep you updated! rn i’m at training camp part of s1 and it’s great!!! just having a blast tbh. needed this especially now that school is back... :(

i guess we are talking about voltron in 20fucking21. i don’t know if i love that for us or not.... (our honeymoon can be whenever you want babe pick a date and i’m There 😏)

pls unrequited love is soo good. it hurts but it’s good too? haha, maybe if one has experiences with it it just hits different yk? but i’m with you—watching voltron i always always had the headcanon that keith first started to feel smth for lance in the ‘we did it’ scene and actually thought ‘i’m in love’ during the black lion scene. like the proof is all there... s8 and the sunset scene just proves his longlasting feelings nobody can tell me otherwise. keith is the type to cherish the people he loves a lot because he barely has anyone and that means putting their happiness above anything else and lance’s happiness was allura for a while and he just... accepted that despite yearning . god . i always think about is bittersweet smile while having his speech. it’s like; i know that you’re great and you should know that you’re great too and if she can’t see it she doesn’t deserve you.

you freaking out over the leave the math to pidge scene... losing my fucking mind. girl they’re literally in love fuckinf crying 😭😭😭😭😭 they depend on each other SO much like the show runners always push the ‘hunk and lance bffs’ agenda ok sure but in the show hunk was never there for lance the same way keith was. they just eased each other’s anxieties without having any expectations on each other at all? yet they surpassed all of them. the other was just.. there. always. remember the ‘we all miss shiro’ scene too???? the entire team looked at lance and wanted him to step up!!!!!! like HELLO??????? and the second lance spoke keith just calmed down... kill me now. if that doesn’t show much trust and appriciation and respect there was between them idk what does. and the fact that the others know that despite their differences they still need each other just..... yeah. *cries*

YOU SHOULD YOU SHOULD YOU SHOULD YOU SHOULD. i get you tho klance is just... comfort ship but the ship that leaves you depressed too. i’m sure you could still write them perfectly but i’m absolutely in no way pressuring you at all you truly don’t have to if you can’t. i know how hard it can be to write when the motivation is just not there... :/ anyway idk what i’d prompt i just love your fics babe hsjdhdjdjdk. that’s so boring of me to say help but everything you write i love so.. surprise me? i can’t believe you have a final klance fic tho that sounds so sad.... ): i’m curious what it’s about but maybe it’s better to keep it hush hush.. hm?

i hope you’ve slept well!! you make me so happy!! kisses! xxxxxx

FHSJFKDS that makes /me/ so happy to hear!!! i was sitting on my bed smiling like a FOOL reading this ahahahaha. and soz to your brother but what can i say 🤪🤪

nooooo im so glad you got a 5 star already pls it’s fine im just gonna use all my primogems on xiao banner and it’ll end up okay fhskjdfds. yeah just switching charas in when needed totally works too! it’s just annoying when you accidentally get caught up in combat and it’s just ‘oop im level 1 against level 50′ AHAH. (tho i guess you won’t run into that issue yet?) honestly yeah there’s so much to do with the characters like ascending, constellations, talents, weapons, it’s just like.. what do i do first.... and who..... afhdskjfhsjf sometimes i just want to use character bc pretty and that should be enough 😔

hmmmm for the character event banner I believe i’m at 60 or 70 rn? so i’m reaaaally close to pity which is why when xiao comes 🙏🙏🙏 and for the standard banner i have no idea, maybe 40? so yeahhhh LOL... i keep saying this (and i better not be jinxing it BUT) im hoping it’ll all pay off...... i hope it’s all been building up for xiao... c6 xiao.. come home FHDKSJHDS

i definitely prefer it on PC! controls aside i just like the bigger screen tbh (my laptop is 15″). mostly the differences are the controls/buttons! since you can’t hold down multiple buttons at once on mobile, they’ve got more to cover all the functions (pc doesn’t have an extra dash button, we just right click or press shift; if we’re in the air i think one of the buttons turns into the drop down/plunge, rather than showing like 3 on mobile? i can’t remember precisely but yeahhh; there’s also the joystick on the left side of the screen on mobile that obviously isn’t there on pc bc we have the keyboard. it’s also harder to move the camera around whilst doing things on mobile i feel?) 

and nah i don’t think i’ll make another acc, esp since i’ve gotten so far into game already but i did definitely think about it as a possibility ahahah (bc of my bad luck... i was wondering if i did a reroll (second) acc i might be able to get diluc FJKHSKDFS)

omg it feels like coming home what a good description 😩😩 haikyuu is just such a fun warm experience! legit so comforting and light-hearted but also get deep when it needs to be. oh yes training camp <33 gosh they were so young then :’) HAHAAH. and noooooo school has started up for you again? rip i wish you the best of luck 😔💪

maybe 2k21 is the year of revisiting old things...... god voltron ended in 2018 can you BELIEVE that (😏😏😏 i was gonna mention playing genshin co-op together (even back when you first started) HAAHAH but i assume you play in europe server? im asia rip 😥)

WE DID IT WE ARE A GOOD TEAM!! THE FUCKING PURPLE AROUND THEM!!!! THE SMILEEEE OH MY GOD THE BONDING MOMENT THE. fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk every time you mentioned a single line or scene im just. all the memories come flooding back fhdsfkhsdjf. hang on a second.. they are red and blue.... the scene was purple... surely i knew this back then but im thinking about it now and?????/ oh my god

the sunset scene!!!!!!!!!! that is Peak pining keith unrequited love and pain scene... my goodness. “that means putting their happiness above anything else” NOOOOOOOOOOO you are so right tho 😭😭😭😭😭 please keith deserves the univerise <333 :((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( the fact that lance seeked him out for that too.. just like old times.. “you can sure be a hard guy to find when you wanna be huh” the way i still remember that ugh they really were my everything 😔

YES!! like they pushed the whole lance+hunk+pidge thing but then in the actual show had hunk+pidge treat lance like shit and belittle him so often?? like ?????????? (once again where fanon saves us 😩) and oh my god yeah.. when everyone turned to him and lance like walked up to keith and then said all that.. we actually had so many moments?? god. *cries with you*

speaking of shiro.. s06e05 the black paladins!!! “shiro.. please.. you’re my brother.. i love you..” “just let go, keith” 😭😭 keith suffered so much AND FOR WHAT my god i miss him so much oh no

FSHFKJDS “surprise me” the only reason im asking is bc i have no ideas!!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭 but i shall think.. (and if you want to think and help me out too.. 👐) & i’ve actually posted about that final fic a lot! LMAO that’s how you know i know i’m never gonna finish fdskhfksjd but in case you do wanna see, here are some links: one, two, three

thank you!! i stayed up to 4am like an idiot LOL but i swear today.... and same 😭 im so so happy to have met you 🥰❣ muah! xoxoxox

[mingi-bubu]

Watch “Love O2O” with Me!

Episode 18

hi!!!  guesss who;s finally back!!!

its been a spicey hot second since we saw naiwei hasn’t it?

well long story short bc i know that you want to get on with the episode

i moved into a new apartment and we only jsut now got the wifi hooked up so im finally able to do a wwm jfdal;dj

anyways i have my water, i have my mogu mogu passionfruit flavor, my phone is charging, and my laptop is plugged in

as mr. we go hundred himself mark lee would say, lezgeddit!

The paper hats omg

God he looks so good in that shirt I am feeling emotions

Him and Weiwei are cute thoo

Sudden downpour of course

Oh he really said we gonna stAnd right in front of yiu

GRABB THE WAIST OMFG GG

She do be looking tho

I love that she's killing the mood by talking about September bfjsnfmsk

He is so pretty

Jawline

Ugh that's so sappy Nai I knew you were a "secret" romantic

KIED??? KISSSSS

That's creepy

Horrifying that they have the twin youths there

Oh Nai and Weiwei sitting together that's so cuteee

Is

Is she ogjejfka she's asking to apply for an unpaid internyat his company

BRIBE HIM BITCH THE FUCJ

God this is so uncomfy

Aegyo time?

No

Sitting back and enjoying the SUN RED DRESS RED DRESS ITS RHE RED DTESDJGOSNGOAFKNSM

Is this fjjdjfkdksmsms why is things being filmed??

What is happening in this show

I like....hate this actually thanks

Kisssssss

Oh the poor canvas behind them

At least she's not looking like a Dead fish this time

Was that a DRWAM OH MY GOD IM SO WEAK OH MY GOSH

I hate the way she brushed her teeth

Jdjfkandk who is she talking to? It doesn't sound like erxi?

Matching outfits??? Oh they're together together huh 👀👀

He's so happy about it 🥰🥰🥰 stop where to get me a guy like that oh my God

"let them think that [we matched on purpose]." I am SCREAMING

Her outfit is really cute I like it a lot

He really just hired her without a plan smh

YAY MKRE SEROTENTIM SEOTEMEBER CONTENT

This glasses guy is tolerable I like him more than other guy

BKSS BROUGHT HIS FUTURE WIFE TK THE IFFICE IM SVRWMAIBF

September content is all I have been wanting this entire time

Djkdjdkd their friendship means everything to me honestly

not at how he called nai weiwei’s husband

k.o.  i cannot believe that hes literally known known

THE FACT THAT SPETEMBER CALLED HER FAMILY IM SCREAMIGN

their office “is like a monastary” im screamign

oh my god september oh my GOD

ok those two other guys ugh i am looking

KODAK!!!  IVE MISSED YOU MY LOVE

stop dragging himm im sicck

i love him so much

xiao glasses im so weak

thats what im calling the ashuang guy

lskdjfa;lskd oh my god he cannot talk at all

oh hes a mysogyingst too

nevermind he can eat his shoes

sakdfjal;sdjfa chef boy really said im looking out for him

him as in kodak

i want to kick xiao glasses in the face what a jerk

its nice tht these guys are cheering weiwei on

the task deepens

you shouldve read throught the report first babes

kodak really be telling on people i love himi

his hair looks so good

so does nai’s

la;kdfjal;dsjf nai really said she can handle it herslef

kodak is

bitter

love himmm so much

of course she picked the epmpty seat in front of his office

he really do be sneaking up

his lil smile tho im heart emoji with sparkles

i love wehn wei2 and the #Squad hangout

its so entertaining for me!!!

despite his horrible sock habit i do be in love with september

she really said i want to beat glasses’ ass so bad i love her

i really hate that we can hear them breathe

he really just handed over his whole set of keys man is WHIPPED

;aldskfjas;dlk they really did be just saying shit huh

fish remembered she was there thoooo

ommg i just noticed her outfit has like a really poof skirt

nai is so smitten i want himmm

HE SMILE

BITH

CHADLFKJEWOIG

hes so in love please im screamign

he :D

shslakdfjasldkjf theyre so cuteee im

game time gameer tme gameritme

shes so skinny, sweetie, im worried

i read an article about her where she said she’s had body image issues in the past

i hope shes doing better now

yeah silence lets go king give us everything

i love their ost

i she really do just be putting things in stuff

SHUT UP HE KLDSFJA;LSDKJF;ALSDJF; HE STARE

IM SCREGAIN

lasdkjfa;lkdsjf o.a much???

weiwei fucking slaps omg

she realy said suck it huh

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY HAVE A WALL CLOCK FROM GUESS

she really sent ERXI !!!!  I HAVENT SEEN HER INFOREVER

anyways she really sent SHUT HU[PIHEPAOIWHF THE LIL SALUTE IM SCREAMING THEY ARE SCO CUTE

is glasses a rat????  OH MY GOD IS HE A SNAKE IN THE GRASS

where is erxi

wehere is she

OH MY GOD REUNION!!!!  IM SLOV AFKJEIAPIGA

i love to see it!!!

ive missed the #Squade

even though its only 1/2 aldjkfksd

okay that’s all for this episode!!

thank you for reading ^^~

stay safe and stay healthy <333