#ugh who are you to try and promote your stuff!!!

[s-leeeepyy]

saw this on stream in the middle of math class and knew i had to draw it. so here i am a few hours later after school ended

i also realised i forgot bro's clothes guess he's naked now :skull:

[lowkeyrobin]

Heyy :) Can you please write headcanons of dating quackity, but in his earlier eras? (like 2019-21 maybe) ❤

ooooo yes of course!!! ; fun fact I've been watching him since 2018 or so (I don't mean this in a "Oh I'm cooler than you way) ; thank you for the request!! this was fun as hell ; I tried to kinda do it in a chronological order but yeah, I did like stuff and then more details of relationship if that makes sense yk???

QUACKITY ; 2019-2021 era

warnings ; language, talk of drugs, jokes about sex

genre ; fluff

word count ; 858

masterlist

Raiding Club Penguin with him and Axel was a core memory for you. It was the first true time, however cringe it sounds, that you saw Alex as your best friend.

he'd always try to make you laugh, especially on stream

such a little tease

back in the olden days, we had those Discord server 'wtf is that food' videos

you guys rank some of them and how likely you'd eat them

also ranking Discord memes

so many of them were dumb shit or weird shipart from like 2015 deviantart LMFAO

"guys I know me and y/n are dating but that doesn't mean compare us to Shrek couples!"

"I thought Thanos was your true love?"

"He-He is! Oh my God, stop being so desperate, y/n. ugh"

once he got invited to the Dream SMP, you were all ears and proudly taught him how to play Minecraft

you made his alt skin with the tuxedo, which he didn't wear often, but used in lore some time later

youd often help him with lore ideas

he also got you invited into the SMP where he introduced you to some of his new friends

you knew schlatt and some others, but most of these people were new and it was nice meeting all of them

the fiances are established and then you and quackity are already a think and you also like karl, which creates a weird love rectangle with an open end because you and sapnap are sharing the other two 💀

lore goes fuckin crazy with that

while Karl's off making Kinoko Kingdom and Quackity's running Las Nevadas, you're building El Tropicana, off in the far away jungle biome

Alex would usually stream and translate Mexican soap operas, which you joined in for sometimes

you'd give the characters different voices and twist their words up a bit to make it more entertaining for chat

the amount of drug talk that went into that was wild

also the amount of queer kids bullied in those schools?? yikes on bikes

also the one with that girl who got in trouble for kissing a boy on the playground or whatever that was?? Jesus christ man

youd both act put the scenes on occasion and use Tiger as whatever kid was being yelled at if she was in the room with you

taking a break halfway through stream for him to play guitar and for you to karaoke to fuckin Bo Burnham

also making fake joints out of paper he had laying around and "lighting them up" aka setting paper on fire next to a PC and your faces

Jackbox streams with the Feral Boys until 3am>>>

Paranormal Activity in the middle of the night went so fucking crazy

teaching Bad how to play GTA is your favorite memory with those two

playing horror games and watching him play horror games with Karl while he visited him

how dare he leave you all alone (you couldn't go because you had a busy schedule)

your chats shipping the hell out of you and your dsmp characters

hella fanart and fanfictions man

try not to laugh streams where you always ended up laughing before the ten minute mark because of him

he purposefully does shit to make you laugh

reading fanfiction on stream was a regular activity especially for y/s/n

youd rank the book on a scale from one to ten and how accurate to real life they were

"nahhhh that one doesn't have enough Thanos, two out of ten"

"yknow what... were gonna have our own tier lists... okay?"

"damnit... does this mean I'm not getting laid later?"

"what"

promoting the quackityhq merch religiously

also stealing whichever beanie he wasn't wearing, either the LAFD one or the plain black and blue one

him tying you to a chair and forcing you to laugh was a common stream plot

tweets that were either very inconspicuous about drugs, very sexual, or very old married couple vibes

youd both be frequently trending on twitter

hot wings or dare streams with Bad >>>>

playing girls go games and hoping you wouldn't give his PC a virus

sitting in the inflatable pool fully clothed, playing with children's bath toys

he'd for sure be the type to fall for his best friend

whether it be all the way back then or just now, he could go forever without feeling any feelings but one day they'll show up and the nervousness begins

he'd lend you a hoodie if you were cold in his room and he just straight up begs you to keep it

lots of just staring at you while chat ships you, like genuinley just zones out on your pretty face

would probably doubt his feelings at first and talk to his mom about it and she's like "boy you have a crush. Go ask them the hell out, you're a handsome young man, I'm pretty sure they like you too"

"mOooOooOoOoM"

genuinley spoils you with no good reason and after a while you just accept it

he starts sending good morning and good night texts

he'll repost (or reblog) (he has a secret tumblr) fanart of you two, especially if it's shipart

will constantly send you clips of movie characters making out or kissing and say "this should be us"

[avatarmerida]

So on twitter the other day, @rebeccaartsy mentioned she was thinking about how different things would be if Hunter was there from the beginning and it really got my mind moving.

So like my totally self indulgent headcanon or whatever,is that Hunter in season one is spending his time hunting wild witches and no one really takes him seriously so the whole time he’s trying to prove himself by trying to capture the most famous wild witch, Eda. But I like to think he doesn’t have a very strong artificial staff at this point and isn’t seen as much of a threat. He’s also either not the Golden Guard yet or just wears normal scout stuff to draw less attention. So he is always setting traps and stuff and Luz meets him and his vibe is like an annoying neighbor kid. He just gets roped into the occasional adventure because he’s there and just when he's starting to question life in the coven he gets promoted to coven head and he works even harder to be taken seriously.

Because I love how Hunter and Willow meet so much where they see the true version of each other right away in a way no one else has, I imagine their first meeting is still outside Luz and everything. Like, Hunter is messing with something plant related (maybe making a trap or liking for a rare plant to help Belos, idk) and gets tangled in some aggressive vines and Willow finds him and helps him. But the vines are from like a really complicated plant that requires extreme patience and talent and he’s like even Terra would have trouble with it and while his spitting facts Willow just untangles him effortlessly. She’s just like “boop! You’re good :)” and at first he’s worried she’s gonna tell someone or blackmail him but she’s just “no prob yo.” But she’s also very impressed that he found the plant that he did, cause they're super elusive and he’s like uhhh thanks.

So he offers to walk her to where she’s going and they start talking and he’s info dumping things on plant magic and they’re vibing and he realizes no one has ever let him talk so much before. And she likes talking to him. Then he realizes exactly where they are and before he can make an excuse to leave, Luz comes out to greet Willow and when she sees Hunter she groans. And they dive into their sibling banter slinging shots back and forth and Willow just stands there thinking like “huh, this is the guy who’s always annoying her? He’s not that bad.”

And so it’s just like a little bit where he’s always like “ugh you guys are the worst! But not you Willow, you’re great obvi.” Like he has no idea anyone would ever think she’s weak because he still met her in her element and she just thinks he’s a dork. But the crushing doesn't really start until Understanding Willow because I love that episode and I say so:

“Gus, listen,” said Hunter, as he walked through the open door of the Owl House. “Obviously, there is much I can’t divulge but upon consideration I am willing to grant you an interview for your class. The Emperor’s Coven values education, and so I could definitely offer you information on our selection process which I’m sure your teachers will find impressive and- why is Willow upside down?”

“Oh, Amity set Willow’s mind on fire and now she’s losing all her memories,” said Luz with a nervous chuckle. “But uh, what’s up with you?”

“What?” He said running over to her side and helping her sit correctly on the couch. “Is she okay?”

“Don’t worry blondie, we’re gonna get these knuckleheads in there to set things right,” said Eda. “Or at least less wrong.”

“You’re gonna entrust Willow’s mind in the hands of… them?” Said Hunter in disdain as he glared at Luz and Amity who honestly couldn’t argue with him. “They were the ones who put her in this situation in the first place! Not to mention, this location isn’t zoned for a spell of that caliber and as a member of the Emperor’s Coven I could-.”

“Listen, do you want it done soon or do you want it done legally?” Asked Eda. “Cause by the time we get the permits to do it your way Goldie, there won’t be any of Willow’s memories left to save.”

“Very well then,” said Hunter, pretending as though it was a hard decision. “I’ll allow it. Just… be careful with her.”

“Alright then,” said Eda. “Lemme whip up something to put her to sleep. She’s not gonna wanna be awake for this.”

“Oh look, the prince is here,” giggled Willow, leaning on Hunter’s shoulder for support as she noticed his presence for the first time. “Helloooo, your highness.”

“Uh, hi,” he said, not expecting her to be this close to him. “A-re you oka-.”

“Shhh,” she said, putting her finger to his lips, whispering as though it was the most serious thing on earth. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

“What?” he said despite his lips being smushed, hanging on to her words with concern.

She took a deep breath. “You have beautiful eyes.” She whispered with intensity.

His face turned bright crimson as he tried to laugh, assuming it must be a joke of some sort. But Willow’s voice didn’t carry the disdain most jokes at Hunter’s expense carried. She wasn’t in her right mind, but maybe that didn’t mean she wasn’t serious.

“Oh uh… thank you?” He said, clearing his throat. “So uh so do you?”

“Hmmm,” she giggled then hiccuped, squinting at him and then leaning in closer as though she couldn’t quite see something. “Do they make you wear that mask because you're so handsome all the time?”

“What?”

“Woo, you could cut something with that jaw ouch,” she said, her voice low and playful before erupting into another sea of giggles.

“I uh, I don’t think that’s-.”

“Nap time!” Said Eda, and Willow instantly fell asleep, leaning forward onto Hunter’s shoulder. He was unprepared to say the least, but tentatively put an arm around her to keep her steady, his eyes wide as his movements were careful.

“Alright coven boy, you keep Princess Planter comfy while I tell these two how to keep things from getting worse,” instructed Eda, pointing to Luz and Amity.

“Yeah sure okay,” replied Hunter, barely listening. Eda was telling Luz and Amity something but all Hunter could hear was the gentle sound of Willow snoring, her breathing slow and deep and peaceful. He has never been so close to her, he could see every delicate freckle that decorated her face. Her glasses were askew so he carefully removed them, because it just seemed like the thing to do. Her mind was on fire, the least he could do was make her more comfortable.

—

He watched as her eyes shifted behind her eyelids as she… dreamed? Would she think this was all a dream? She would mumble things occasionally, hopefully that meant something good? She just looked so-

“Hey Hunter, you want in on this?” Asked Gus.

“Huh?” He looked up quickly as though he was being accused of something. He hadn’t been listening. Hadn’t he been tasked with monitoring her? Is that what Eda said or had he just done it naturally? “Sorry, what?”

“King and Eda are competing to be the subject of my interview,” repeated Gus. “You want in?”

Hunter had forgotten all about being the subject of Gus’ report as he became engrossed in watching Willow sleep. Was that creepy? He didn’t mean it to be. He just felt… protective. He felt responsible. He could never fall asleep like this with anyone unless he trusted them completely. He had never fallen asleep around anyone. And he knew Willow did not have a choice in the matter but he wanted to be worthy of her trust anyway.

“Uh, no thanks maybe next time,” he said, uncharacteristically soft. “Someone should keep an eye on Willow.”

“Eh, she’s not going anywhere goldie,” said Eda as a twinkle entered her eye. “Buuuut when she does wake up, she’s probably gonna be hungry. Having the essence of your inner being threatened really takes alot out of you.”

“Oh yeah, sure,” said Hunter, looking at her in wonder. She seemed to be doing fine, but no doubt there would be brutal side effects. “Should I-.”

“Snacks! Snacks! Snacks!” chanted King.

“Oh yeah, uh I guess I could… do that,” he said softly. He wasn’t sure why he was being quiet, no one else was. But his usual tone didn’t seem fitting now. Normally, he would not take orders (or even suggestions) from civilians but if it was for Willow then it didn’t feel like succumbing to rank. It felt like helping. It felt purposeful. He carefully removed himself from Willow’s presence, mourning the loss of warmth for only a moment, and placed her comfortably on the couch. As he made his way to the kitchen, his eyes were glued to her until it was impossible to continue. Eda,King, and Gus were too occupied in their debate to notice.

---

Willow was going to be fine, she had to be. Everyone would be acting more worried if she wasn’t, right? She had always been strong and capable, he knew her mind couldn’t be much different. He turned his focus from concern into purpose. He wouldn’t admit it to the others, but he was thankful for the distraction. He felt foolish just sitting there not being able to do anything for her. He had never actually made something before, but how hard could it be? He had studied under the head of the Potions coven, how different was baking from that?

As he looked through Eda’s cupboards, Willow’s words echoed in his ears. Well, not all of them. There was one in particular, occupied by the way the ends of her mouth turned up as she said it that made his stomach flip.

Handsome.

No one had ever called him that before, not even ironically. Did she really think that? Why did he care so much if she did? Why, suddenly, did he want so much for her to?

Was it really suddenly though?

Ugh! Why hadn’t he said something cooler? He wasn’t sure she’d even remember saying it, but if she did he didn’t want his surprised reaction to prevent her from possibly repeating herself! He had never had issue thinking of clever retorts (though, to be fair he did do a fair deal of practicing in his bedroom mirror each night) and they often fell into a comfortable conversation. But sometimes she would say something a certain way or look at him too long and it would throw him off. Not in a bad way, no nothing at all like that, just… unexpected. She laughed at the jokes people would roll their eyes at or ask him to continue where normally he was cut off and all the little things just kept adding and piling up until Hunter didn’t know how he was supposed to carry them. She was so many little things, like the way she tilted her head when she asked him a silly question or how her glasses would slide off her edge of her knows when she got excited or the way she would stand close to him and sometimes their hands would brush like she didn’t care if they-

Focus! He thought, taking ingredients from the cabinets. There wasn’t much and what there was seemed to have no organizational system but he could resolve that after he figured out what to whip up. Something simple, something to show Willow he wanted to help. He didn’t know her well enough to enter her mind with Luz and Amity, but secretly he hoped he was getting there.

---

He managed to make something that resembled cookies, the smell filled the kitchen and it surprisingly wasn't an awful smell?. He remembered Willow mentioned once she was eager to get home as her father had made some and they were waiting for her. Truthfully, Hunter had never tasted a cookie but he had seen them when he walked by the bakery in town and knew the basics of their structure. Surely if he had taken a wrong turn the smell would reflect that, right? He imagined the look on Willow’s face when she saw his creation, and maybe even liked it. The flipped feeling returned to his stomach and spread through his whole chest like a wild fire when the potential look of delight on her face graced his mind.

In his efforts, he had made quite the mess. But he couldn’t help but feel pride as he quickly plated his creation, eager to return to Willow’s side. He didn’t think too much into this, he was always excited to see Willow. He tried not to think too much into that, chalking it up to the fact that she was interesting and a good listener and funny and smart and pretty and-

The point was she didn’t find him totally annoying, so why shouldn’t he enjoy her company?

And if she happened to think he was a little handsome then, well, that wasn’t the worst thing.

As he set the cookies to cool, he heard a sudden commotion from the next room. He quickly ran to see the cause, hoping it was a good sign. There was a bright flash and then he heard Luz and Amity. He stood back a moment, trying to deduce their tone before he heard Willow speak. Her voice was horse and soft, but he could tell she was back to normal. Good, he thought, feeling as though he could finally breathe again. She’s okay, she’s okay.

He went to greet her but before he could leave the kitchen, he was stopped by Luz. Before he could offer a snarky question as to what exactly she thought she was doing, she looked at him with wide, concerned eyes.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, furrowing his brow. He tried to looked past her to see what was going on. “Is she okay? Did something happen to-?”

“Willow’s fine.” she assured him, putting her arm up to stop him. “There was just some… complications.”

“What complications? Was she hurt? Does she need-?”

“No no, nothing like that but um there were some memories… we couldn’t save,” said Luz carefully.

“Like what? Did she forget something for a test she has? Because I can always-.”

“No, no uh there were more… recent memories,” Luz tried to figure out the nicest way to say this. ”Hunter, I’m sorry but we were still figuring out how things worked and it all happened so fast but… Willow doesn’t remember you.”

“What?” He felt something shatter.

“I’m so sorry, but hey, it’s an easy fix! Right? We can just introduce you now!”

“Yeah, uh I guess…” he said, looking at his current state. He had thrown on an old apron and was covered in flour, his hair a mess. This night was already so chaotic, it hardly seemed like a time Willow would want to meet someone new.

And then it dawned on Hunter: he had a second chance at a first impression.

Their first meeting had been… interesting. If you count hanging upside down by your ankle until a girl who took a wrong turn stumbles upon you helps untangle you interesting. Hunter did. But he had been so grumpy and flustered, and he wouldn’t have been had he only known who exactly had come to his rescue. She didn’t seem to care or be bothered by it, but he had come to value her opinion and he’d like to start again on the best foot possible. He had a chance for her to see him exactly as he wanted to be seen from the beginning and it felt like a chance he needed to seize.

His mind made up, he looked around for a way out before the human could return with Willow. Quickly, he climbed out the window and landed in a bush, He ducked beneath the window and pressed his back againythe wall as he heard Willow and Luz enter the kitchen,

“Huh, where did he go?” he heard Luz wonder.

“Who was this again?” Willow asked, her voice still raspy as though she was utterly exhausted.

“Uh, it’s kinda hard to explain,” Luz admitted. “But, he’ll be around again. I know he really wants to meet you!”

“Okay,” said Willow, uncertain. “If you say so.”

He couldn't help but think about the chill that went up his spine when she looked into his eyes. He didn’t understand exactly what it was but he knew it wasn’t nothing. He wanted Willow to know a better version of him. He cared what she thought. When she met him this time, he wanted it to be a meeting worth remembering.

—-

And so for the rest of the series up until ASIAS he’s trying to work up the nerve to meet Willow again as Hunter. Just when he’s ready, he gets promoted to coven bead and that’s when I’m also promoting him to Golden Guard or maybe like Golden Guard full time. So now he has more on his plate and he gets a more advanced staff and now he’s a real threat. But of course because he’s a loser and can’t stay away from her so they do interact when he’s the Golden Guard and he has that masked confidence. He’s still getting to know her so he’ll like run into her in the market or something and flirt but didn’t realize it’s flirting and he’s planning the perfect way to “re-meet.” The whole time Willow is like bugging because there’s something so familiar about him but she doesn’t know what and the others don’t tell her because they’re like still figuring out his deal. So when he does come to Hexside during ASIAS it’s much more thought through and intentional and feelings have already been caught.

Anyway sorry for a long pointless post but that’s just been on my mind k thanks bye.

[yuniniverse]

OH MY GODDDDD YOUR ACCOUNT IS THE BEST TBH ugh i am so lucky i wanna gate keep like girl you are too good to be trueeee i have been reading for a while and now i wanna make a lil request it goes smth like this we all know minjae hates being called short what if he finds a friend that hypes him up and tells him they are the same and stuff like that and they are friends from the same training program and she was under sm like him back then and stuff like that idk sorry if i bothered but really girl i love like I LOVE YOUR WRITING SOOOOO MUCHHHH 🩷🩷🩷

PAIRING !  ━ idol!minjae x idol!reader

GENRE !  ━ Friends to strangers(?) To lovers, fluff, seems rushed I'm so sorry TvT, slight angst

WORD COUNT !  ━ 2445 words

AUTHOR NOTE ! ━ I kid you not when I saw this I nearly cried because of how sweet you are :( I'm so sorry for the delay love uni is shit esp with all my sem end exams but thank God I have a few days off so I can work back on requests~ I hope you like it <3

SONG RECCS ! ━ Stardust Lovesong by Jihyo, Whispers of Love by Lim Hayoung

dm to be in my taglist!!

The speakers blared through the studio while minjae sat in one corner, his head turned to face the computer that lit the dim room and played their debut song, spacing out completely, draining out the noise to muffled sound of the song as his mind thinks of a hundred things, things that made him feel not so great, mad even.

Recalling memories of how excited he was a week back, jumping around like a kangaroo as his members gave him a playful questioning look as they all looked at their first ever concert costumes. Everyone was busy talking about it, the maknaes calling junghoon to brag about how excited they were and showed off a few steps as spoilers for the concert as they huddled together and screamed at junghoon who just wanted to sleep if it weren't for seeun spamming his phone and disrupting his peaceful slumber.

The entire way from KQ to their venue Minjae was the happiest and didn't even try to hide it, he dragged his members around to make tiktoks that he could post later and even dragged yujun around forcing the poor boy, who just wanted to eat in peace,the venue which seemed so pretty to him. But it all dimmed when he saw all the members get compliments while he just got taunted for his height, he loved roadys and sure they were just joking around, but he can't help but feel hurt.

"MINJAE!" He snaps out of trance, jumping on his feet as he hears you scream his name, "you spaced out for a while, you ok?" You asked. Minjae smiled, he knew if anyone only you would understand his struggles, both of you were the leaders of your group and have been training together, transferring from sm to kq and helping each other with debuting. He shook his head and stood up, making his way to you as he put on a forced smile. You on the other hand knew something was going on, your worries only grew when you saw a tear slip from his eye, which he immidiately wiped off, looking away in order to avoid your upcoming lecture. You only hugged him to which he responded back by hugging you, his embrace grew tighter as he did his best to hold back tears but let go as soon as he felt your hand rub circles on his back, his mother would always rub circles on his back whenever he was down or was afraid he wouldn't debut and you stood there watching with a smile, this gesture made him realise he was homesick too but couldn't go back home yet. He couldn't help but cry onto your shoulder to which you could only console him by back rubs. "Sorry" he mumbled as he snuggled and wiped away his tears, backing away from the hug. Confused, you ask why and he says "You're leaving next week for your groups tour and promotions, the last thing you'd want to see is me crying" he says as he looks at you with glistened eyes, you insisted it was fine, he was your friend, someone who you loved even but was too shy to tell him, to see him breakdown shattered you. You held his hand, taking him to the nearest convenience store and bought him ramen, helping him sneak the packets into his dorm before junmin catches him and lectures the two of you how it's bad for your health. It was only after you heard minjae giggle for the first time in that day did you leave him alone, dropping him to his dorm and running back to yours.

You felt happy that you helped him, even happier when you heard his giggles. You wished you could hug him for hours and tell him how much you loved him and how proud you were of him for being so strong when situations weren't siding with him. However all the happiness you had was drained when you saw your members running around the form, packing their stuff, You asked your manager what was going on and your manager said how your group had to leave the first thing tomorrow morning as your schedules got leaked and your company couldn't risk in any of your groupmates or you to be hurt as a similar incident took place earlier when your group first debuted and it resulted to your you get members getting hurt the most and having to skip one or two schedules because of the injuries they had gotten. You nod, following your members to your room as you rush to pack your things. It was when you were done is when you realised you didn't tell minjae. Especially since it would be a month or so till you came back to Korea from tour and individual schedules.

You text him but ofcourse it was way past midnight at the time and with how junmin behaved more motherly to minjae than minjaes own mother, you thought probably he was asleep. Your assumption turning out to be true as you checked your phone in the morning again, before you left you checked one last time only to your dismay as the message left as unread.

It was only after your plane took off and you were allowed to turn on your phone after the plane was in cruising altitude did you see your phone blowing up with messages, you smile at minjaes dramatic messages but also felt slight sadness as you two couldn't say your goodbyes properly.

Minjae, although his texts being way over dramatic, was sad as well. He wanted to be there for you as well. His heart warmed up when you hugged him, the tip of his ears reddening as he remembers the sweet words you said as you rubbed his back. It wasn't the fact that he was homesick or that he was down at roadys remarks about him, he cried the most when he realised he was in your arms. You were his weakness, his everything. He always adored how you would care to everyone's needs, in his eyes you were the perfect leader. His heart melting at how you'd always comfort your members, be it hugging them or calling up their family and making their favourite dishes even if it was your first time just to see your members cherry selves. How you'd always be so soft and considerate with your fans. He saw everything from afar, he saw you grown in his eyes. The first time you came to sm, it was after he had been a trainee for a year. Your eyes shining as you saw your seniors practice, the way you jumped when you got your routines correct, to how you cried and laughed in his arms after your debut. He held every moment he spent with you close to his heart.

So it's safe to say how it would always be like he was missing a part of him whenever you went for tours or just away from him in general. His feelings for you growing more and more day after day, he felt like he was falling in love with you all over again whenever he saw you smile or heard your laughs.

You on the other hand was questioning life, mostly the youngest and the oldest. You caught them eating ice creams peacefully as they watched the other two other maknaes run around, the rest of the members joined in, throwing pillows around the hotel room and causing chaos, at midnight. You slapped your head on your forehead, picking up the fallen pillows, your face defeated at the room being such a mess. You glared at the oldest who was deemed to be the "mother of the group" just standing there trying to stifle her laugh. You threw a pillow at one of your members when they laughed at you, causing another round of pillow fight. All of your hair and clothes being disheveled as laughter echoed throughout the room. It was only when your manager walked in did you guys stop. There was a moment of silence, all knowing they were gonna get their ice cream privileges away again, after all your company was famous for weird bans. You stood up and bowed, your hand swinging around motioning your members to scatter off to their rooms, to which all of them did with giggles. Your manager stood there defeated. Handling ten girls was way worse than babysitting any child. He only sighed, knowing your stylists are gonna be mortified at the condition of your hair being all over the place and trying to fix all ten of you girls.

After what seemed like eternity, you were at the airport back again, waiting for your flight back to Korea. You couldn't help but excitedly text minjae everything that happened, the past month was amazing for both you and your members. Everything seemed too perfect, from how you had fun in stages to late night screaming coming from rooms because you guys wanted to play some games but resulted to cheating and some biting.

It was all too perfect to be too true. You should've seen this come to a stop as you landed back to Korea. Your laughs were interrupted by your manager running to you, telling you guys to hold to each other close as the schedules were leaked again and the entire airport was packed with reporters and fans. You could see your members getting worried. You did as you were told, you trailed behind, holding onto one of the members hand as you tried your best to shield all of them from the mobbing. All your efforts going to vain as stepping outside the airport led to more crowd, your eyes teared up at the sight of your members being pushed down, some having their yanked, you were too scared, trying your best to get out of the situation and keeping your head low, holding onto your members hands tightly. Although you girls managed to get inside the bus, seeing how some cried because of how they were hurt both physically and mentally, some "fans" even cursing at them in the airport. You felt helpless. It was as if the perfect life came to an abrupt stop. You put on a smile for them, trying to cheer them up. Ofcourse your mind was clouded with several things as well. With how people always called you a "cheap copy" of your seniors, your members labelled with even worse names.

You sighed, plopping down on the sofa with your bag, your eyes followed your silent members walk to their rooms and settle down quietly. The silence was too much, especially for a group that always had their staffs running with a baseball bat thinking someone broke in because of how much they screamed. You missed it. They would get better, you knew that, but the fact that you couldn't protect your group made you feel like the worse leader possible. You wanted to let it out, but you couldn't. You felt you were being too dramatic.

But the entire form remained silent, only slight glances were made to your manager who visited to keep track of the girls who were injured. You were scratched too, but you were too caught up to notice. You stand up, telling your manager that you'd be going for a walk, giving a small smile to the girls as a way of saying your ok just that you needed some fresh air to clear your head.

You didn't even notice you weren't speaking to minjae as you two did. You felt guilty for it all. The fear of loosing everyone you loved just because you were 'confused' was too overwhelming. Before you knew it, tears rolled down your cheeks to your chin. You sobbed silently as each step you took seemed heavier than the other. The fact that you thought you were drifting away from minjae made you feel as if your entire world was crumbling down.

Fortunate to you, it started pouring, your tears were disguised as raindrops on your face. "Y/n?" You stopped walking, you could hear your heart beating as you recognised the voice. You couldn't turn around, not when you look like a mess.

Minjae walked up to you, his smile grew wider as he recognised the back of your head, his smile immediately dropped as he saw your glistening eyes, you kept insisting it was the rain but minjae could see right through you. You eventually gave in, you rant out to him, feeling so hopeless, you were supposed to be his comfort and yet here you were having a breakdown yourself. He steps forward to hug you, letting go of the umbrella as he held you so softly, him pushing you lightly towards the streetlight as your back rested against the pole, patting your head as he rests his chin above your head, muttering a bunch of 'its ok' as you first his shirt in your hands and sob into his chest. Only when you calmed down did he break the hug, his hands on your shoulders as he stared at you. His eyes flickering to your lips, his heart racing at how you were pouting, your face best red from all the crying and staying so close to him. He inches his face towards you, his eyes still staring into yours. His hands cup your cheek as he whispers 'may i?' to which you close the gap instead, you feel him smiling against your lips as he kisses you soft and slow, his one hand going to your waist and pulling you closer. Minjae breaks the kiss, smiling as he lays another kiss at the tip of your nose. "You are the best leader I've ever known, don't ever doubt yourself ever again because you are truly one of the best people I've ever met" he says as he kisses the top of your head.

"I wish we were together in all our lives and in all the universes" you say as you held his hand while walking, smiling at how red minjae had gotten hearing your words, he looks at you, kissing the back of your hand that is still intertwined with his, still maintaining eye contact with you

"I know we are lovers in every universe and in every life time" he says, you clear your throat in an attempt to calm your rapidly beating heart. He laughs at you and pulls you with your hand to steal another kiss from you, mumbling 'cute' in between the kisses.

[lastoneout]

Everyone: YouTube is such a garbage platform! It only cares about ad money and exploiting creators, and they have frankly draconian rules about what you can say or show, and sometimes even if you follow all the rules you'll either lose your money and viewerbase to demonetization, and there's basically no way to fix that unless you are a huge creator who makes a massive stink about it on Twitter, or to the algorithm just deciding your videos aren't worth promoting anymore. I hate how many ads there are too, 2+ prerolls, midrolls, and ones at the end?? Tons are unskippable and they often contain triggering content with NO warning. And like, half the sponsorships are for corrupt scams and full of lies. And ugh the switch to prioritizing short from content is fucking over anyone who doesn't want to make discount tiktoks. Plus they're trying to stop people from using adblocker in fucked up ways. And on top of all that Google is just straight up evil. YouTube really does suck these days :/ I feel bad for the creators I love who are stuck using it.

Watcher: YouTube was a good place for our shows at first, but as you all know if you want to make money here you have to compromise the types of content you want to make to please the algorithm and advertisers, and we don't want to make content for them, we want to make quality TV shows for and supported by our viewers, so we can grow and offer even more, much higher quality stuff, so it's time to open our own independant streaming service. It's as cheap as we can make it, and we also want to give our fans more control and so there's a deal if you sign up now where you get 30% off for the first year and can vote on our next show, plus we will never implement any measures to prevent account sharing, one person can share with whoever they want. We're still going to upload trailers and premiers on YouTube, and we will NOT be deleting anything that's already up here. We hope you can support us, because it's your support that matters to us more than anything else.

Everyone: Oh my god you guys are such assholes who hate poor people, what the fuck is your problem!! How dare you abandon us, here's a huge paragraph about how your shows are the only thing that makes my life worth living because [xyz systemic issue], just so you know you're actively ruining our lives by trying to get rid of ads, make better content, and focus on what the viewers want. Why didn't you switch to Nebula or something?? Idc if that's not how it works. Fuck you all, I'm going to go review bomb all your videos. This is so evil and scummy. Also, I'm pissed because people are claiming this isn't avaliable in the rest of the world, even though no one has offered a single source to back it up. Anyway back to watching Dropout, a service you have to pay for, which I'm not mad about at all.

Me:

[mllemaenad]

So – Bethesda broke Fallout 4's script extender. Because of course they did. What better way to celebrate the release of your new TV show than to stall people's ongoing playthroughs? Excellent work. I don't even want an Enclave quest. It's Creation Club nonsense, so it won't actually be a proper quest anyway.

I want to finish my Sim Settlements 2 playthrough. Ugh.

So while I'm waiting for the dust to settle on that, I thought I'd give Fallout 76 another go. I am rebuilding my mod list for Fallout 3, but that's a work in progress. And Fallout 76 is right there.

I created a new character, because I haven't played this thing in ages and I know they've changed a bunch of the mechanics. And oh - ha. I mean, I had thought from the beginning that creating a game without NPCs was a terrible idea, because it's hard to invest in saving an empty world. But the addition of them makes playing the game's original main quest a distinctly bizarre experience.

I don't mean that I'm suddenly pro-empty world. Not at all. In general the presence of factions and personalities and people you can care about it a good thing.

But when they made this game, the writers and quest designers were given "empty world" as a parameter within which they had to work. And they did.

It's sort of an interesting, even bold, choice for a storyline because it does not allow you to feel good about yourself at all. Most Fallout games do. Oh, you can play evil if you want, sure, and there are a handful of side quests that are genuinely no win scenarios. But mostly? You can save the world. And you will probably have a better experience if you try to: there's more to do when you talk to the NPCs and deal with their problems rather than just murdering everyone and taking their stuff.

But Fallout 76 is just judging you.

I keep thinking about its promotional song – that really upbeat cover of Take Me Home, Country Roads, and all the imagery in the old trailer, about rebuilding and looking to the future. But all of that is functionally a lie, and the key lines in that song come towards the end:

I hear her voice in the mornin' hour, she calls me The radio reminds me of my home far away Drivin' down the road, I get a feelin' That I should've been home yesterday, yesterday – Take Me Home, Country Roads

You should have been home yesterday. You should have been home a thousand yesterdays ago. This story is all about the past, and a rebuilding effort you neglected to join. It hits you with the guilt straight away, as the very first place the game takes you is an old outpost of emergency service personnel who just kept on doing their jobs after the bombs fell. It's their notes and recordings that teach you how to survive.

Of course you encounter less pleasant people later: raiders and Enclave, and honestly I have little patience for any iteration of The Brotherhood of Steel. But even there, you can see that the misunderstandings and conflicts and general fuck ups might have been resolved with a competent mediator.

And that is exactly what you are. You're a Fallout protagonist. You don't have the time to spend ten years sitting in a lab, but you excel at travelling from town to town and dealing with whatever obstacle is stopping a faction from moving forward. Fallouts 1-4 and assorted spin offs have taught us all that.

Even in universe, Vault 76 is stated to be full of literal geniuses. It is packed with doctors and scientists and engineers: exactly the people the world needed to deal with a combination of plague and environmental crisis.

If you were there, you could have fixed this.

But you were not there. You were sitting comfortably in a vault, while other, better people tried to save the world.

And they were almost there. They had a vaccine. Even with everything, they had a vaccine. They did the work, they had a plan. As you play through this quest, you stand upon the shoulders of giants at almost every stage, implementing the very last step in a plan that really does work. Had they lived, even a few months longer ... but they didn't, and you did nothing to help them.

It wasn't even necessary to spend 25 years in that vault, as it is abundantly clear that the area around 76 has been habitable this whole time. Challenging, sure: I am in no way suggesting that it was an easy existence. But it was not instant irradiated death.

Every other Fallout protagonist steps out of their vault (or other entry scenario) in time to make things right. Maybe just in time, but nevertheless. They walk into a fractured world and get to work. But not you. You took the easy route.

How proud are you of that Best Dental Hygiene award now?

Given that it is set so close to the Great War, and deals with first generation survivors, it gives one of the best looks at the cynical cruelty of Vault-Tec: when they talk about rebuilding the world, it only means rebuilding for its own benefit and profit. Anyone not part of their plan is more than welcome to die in a hole.

It ties in very nicely with the television series, actually. Lucy laments that she was waiting to rebuild the world, but it all happened without her - and Vault-Tec actively tried to destroy that new world (and at least up to a point, seems to have succeeded). Her people waited over 200 years, but it didn't take that long. Twenty-five were quite enough.

But with the new version ... I mean, it really takes the sting out of it. It looks like everybody had a few rough years there, but it's all turned out fine. There's a burgeoning civilisation here, with homesteads and caravans and trade. I can't go two steps without an NPC asking to borrow a bobby pin, and even the raiders are more territorial than outright destructive (although – is nobody going to go up that completely safe little hill and give poor Miguel a funeral? Come on guys, clean up the damn corpses).

The tragedy of the whole thing, and the weight of your own inaction, is largely gone. You can't reshape the world and still make the same impact with that narrative.

I don't know, I guess I just can't quite get behind the whole multiplayer-ness of the thing. The world can't really change as you complete quests. You can't really rebuild. But likewise, if the world does change, it has to change for everyone at the same time, regardless of where they are in the story.

It could still work, I think, if you could play through that story and then see the caravans come over the hill, and start to rebuild the world.

Because that might feel a bit like redemption.

[jumpywhumpywriter]

A list of some of my favorite quotes and short scenes from my OC named Shadow, a morally gray anti-hero who is the snarkiest, whittiest, most sarcastic and badass person in my in-progress fantasy trilogy. I just love her brutal personality so much!

Let me know what all of your favorites are! 😁

1. "Nice try, but that stuff doesn't work on me, you useless white crayon."

2. "Come on, leave the poor guy alone," Tanner sighed heavily.

Shadow rolled her eyes with an exasperated groan. "He's the kind of stupid, that if I left him alone, he'd probably set water on fire."

3. "I'm gonna kill him," Shadow snarled angrily.

Thomas quickly stepped in front of her. "Shadow, no, you are not murdering anyone on my watch."

"Then look away."

4. "Where are you going?"

"Anywhere you aren't."

5. Shadow: "Open says me." *kicks door down*

Thomas: "Actually, it's open sesame."

Shadow: "Nope, other way around kid. You'll catch on eventually."

6. "Are you always this sarcastic?"

"My level of sarcasm has gotten to the point where I don't even know if I'm kidding or not."

7. "What brings you here?"

"A series of bad choices."

8. "Half of the human city wants you dead," Thomas tried to emphasize.

"Wow, a month ago it was the whole city, things are looking up," Shadow drawled sarcastically.

9. "I am nice until you give me a reason not to be." Shadow's voice was icy and gruff.

"Since when are you ever nice?" Thomas groaned.

"...Eh, fair point."

10. "You give my migrane a headache."

11. "Touch my daggers and I will punch you so hard even Google won't be able to find you."

12. "Guys, we have a problem!" Thomas panted for breath, bursting into the room.

"And it's another Tuesday, what's your point?" Shadow rolled her eyes.

13. "So, what do ya think? Good idea right?" Thomas gestured at the blueprints laid our on the table.

"Whatever floats your titanic." Shadow shrugged.

"...But the titanic sank."

"Yeah, just like your IQ did when you came up with that idea."

14. "If I go to war -- risk my life -- it's going to be because the odds are in my favor. Not otherwise," Shadow rumbled.

"So... it's not because you miraculously feel compelled to be noble and good for once?"

"...You have far too much faith in my moral compass, kid. It's almost scary how naive you are."

15. "Shadow, you have to help me! I had an accident."

"Had an accident? Kid, you are an accident.

16. "Ugh. How do people stand you?"

"They sit."

"You're insufferable."

"No more than you are."

"Would you stop coming up with comebacks and making me look like an idiot?"

"But you are an idiot."

"Ugh-"

17. "Interrupt me again and I'll interrupt your breathing."

18. "Is two a lot?"

"Depends on the context. Corpses? No. Living humans? Yes."

19. Shadow glared at Thomas. "You know, you probably shouldn't think too hard. Wouldn't want that poor overworked brain cell to have a panic attack."

20. "Yeesh, guess he's not the brightest light bulb," Tanner said with a wince, watching on the security feed as the Jackal guard tried for the fifteenth time to pick the lock on the door to the room Shadow had trapped him in earlier.

"You kidding me? The light bulb isn't even screwed in!" Shadow snarked.

21. Thomas: disagrees with Shadow

Shadow: "You've officially been promoted to victim." *Punches Thomas*

22. "I may be mad, or I may be less mad, but my mood will never be in your favor."

23. "Is that blood?" Thomas paled as he stared at the red smears staining Shadow's leather hero suit.

"No?"

"That's not a question you're supposed to answer with another question."

"Okay fine, yes -- but don't worry, it's not mine!" Shadow blurted.

"Is that supposed to be reassuring?!?"

24. "We have five people trying to kill us right now, what are we supposed to do?" Thomas squealed.

"Actually, it's more like eight," Shadow corrected.

"Oh, sorry I wasn't specific enough!!"

25. "That's not a happy story," Thomas muttered sympathetically.

"Well I don't live a happy life," Shadow growled in answer.

26. "What are you so afraid of?" Shadow challenged.

"You."

"Oh... That's fair."

27. "If your crazy plan gets me killed, kid, I am going to come back and haunt you so hard."

28. Shadow pinched the bridge of her nose with an inward groan. "I am way too sober for this."

29. "Okay, what did I do?" Thomas threw his hands up in defeat.

"What do you mean?" Shadow frowned.

"You look like you want to rip my head off."

"Sorry, that's just how my face works."

30. "Ugh, people don't understand that I literally don't know how not to walk around like I own every place I go to. I'm a walking war machine. How else am I supposed to act?!"

31. "So, uh, there's some bread in the cabinets if you're hungry," Thomas awkwardly offered.

"I don't eat bread, it's usually poisoned." Shadow wrinkled her nose.

"If this is some gluten-free nonsense--"

"No, actual poison."

32. "Come on, Shadow. The city needs our help. You're the strongest of us all -- imagine all the people you'll help save!" Thomas badgered.

"Correction, it needs your help," Shadow said through gritted teeth. "Leave me out of it. Humans can save themselves for once."

"...Please?"

"...Do I get wine after dealing with all the horrors of evil?"

"All the wine you want."

"Fine. But doing this is going to give me all the good karma points I'm going to need for the rest of my life."

33. "I'm not human. Remember that next time you want to punch me in the face."

34. "I guess I'll just have to be subtle about it," Thomas said.

Shadow snorted in amusement. "You are the least subtle person I know. Your "I have a secret" vibe is literally visible from mars."

35. "So, you're innocent?" Tanner raised a skeptical eyebrow.

"Innocent as a young child... the kind they use as pickpockets," Shadow said with a dead-serious face.

36. "It costs you absolutely nothing to keep those rude comments to yourself," Tanner snapped angrily.

"It also costs me absolutely nothing to say them, so I think I'm good," Shadow retorted with a smirk.

37. "Can I bother you for a second?"

"You always bother me, but go ahead."

38. "I've met toddlers with more spine than you."

39. "Use your brain, idiot! You do have one, right?"

40. "Come on, it can't hurt to shake things up a bit, don't you think?" Thomas wheedled.

"I'm not anti-change, I'm just pro keeping things the way they are," Shadow growled.

41. "I've seen more formidable foes in temper tantrums."

42. "I'm not shy. I'm just examining my potential target and enemy. Determining friend or foe, you know?"

43. "Look, he's smiling. He's totally fine," Shadow smirked.

"He's smiling because he's terrified," Tanner said dryly.

"...I'm off-duty right now. Your turn to save the idiot."

44. "Wow, somebody needs a Happy Meal," Thomas grimaced.

Shadow glared daggers at him. "If you give me a 'Happy Meal', I will shove it down your throat to kill you and that is what will make me 'happy'."

45. "Shadow... did you have something to do with this?" Thomas cast her an accusing glance, and she bristled.

"Why is it that whenever something bad happens in the city, I'm always the first one you look at?!" She snapped indignantly.

"Because you're like... always sketchy and suspicious... and stuff..."

Shadow seemed to think about it for a second, before relaxing with a shrug. "Ouch. Valid, but ouch."

46. "This place hold a lot of memories for me. Some bad, some... No. No, no, all bad."

47. "Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably."

48. "I don't know what your problem is, but I'm guessing it's hard to pronounce.

49. "Remember when I asked for your opinion? That's right, I didn't."

50. "Thomas, if you had half a brain cell you'd be dangerous."

51. "If you pull out my earphones, I will pull out your lungs."

52. "I'm trying to tell about--are you even listening?!" Thomas huffed a frustrated breath of air.

Shadow merely raised an unconcerned eyebrow, yawning dramatically. "Don't worry, I'm listening to you. I'm just not paying attention."

53. "I'm on vacation. Only call if the world is about to end."

54. "Hmph. Mangy feather duster..." Thomas grumbled under his breath as he stalked off, forgetting that his ally had superhearing.

"What did you just call me?" Shadow snarled after him.

"You clearly heard me."

"And you clearly don't want to take the risk of saying it again."

55. "Sharp as a marble, that kid," Shadow sighed before coming to Thomas's aid. The blasted human never stopped getting himself in trouble, to her dismay.

Masterlist

Masterlist #2

@scoundrelwithboba @lumpofsand @isikedmyself878 @iamheretohurt @fleur-a-whump @otterfrost @sausages-things

[technically-a-kiwi]

Being the author of a popular media must be just as much of a blessing as it is a curse...

Just imagine, the project that's only been a dream coming to life, and on top of that it is recognized by lots of people, that must feel great! You see a growing community around something only you and the people who helped you one this project seemed to know. Fanarts grow plentiful, people love the characters you created, some try to learn from your work, others just enjoy what you made and spread the word!

But on the other side, people start seeing your work as a way of making money, they use your work as a brand to attract others into a trape. Content farm start to spread, your characters are used to promote stuff you didn't agree with, and they get sexualized (but apparently that's legal here on the internet so yeah...)

To imagine my characters I made and daydreamed all this time casually getting used in content farm to lure random minors into some dumbass's porn site and make money off of sexualized pics of said character just... UGH NO .>_<. NOT MY ASHLEY PLEASE.

I can understand why some authors can't handle such things... It must be horrifying to witness...

That's the problem with popular media... But to fix that we'd need to fix the entire human race, needless to say it's hopeless...

[deesi-academia]

hey, I saw the anti swiftie post. If you're comfortable mag I know the reason why? I am kinda neutral about her but I feel like I should know stuff. I understand if you don't wanna answer this. Take care <3

(also I agree the swiftie fandom is kinda annoying lmao)

hello old old old anon ask I'm so sorry for replying so late but yeah hi 😭

I have tons of time on my hands for the next.... 30 minutes so let's get into it. I'll list a time line of my thought process to how I came to the 'ex-swiftie' conclusion:

1. She released a song called "renegade" which is good, but I found some lines problematic and unexpected, because I used to hold swift to a pedestal (guilty as charged).

The lines were 'is it insensitive of me to say get your shit together so I can love you' and 'is it really your anxiety stopping {something love something idk} or do you just not want to?' SOOOOO yeah these thew me off a little.

2. Her album Midnights came out which I ADORED, became my fav so quick. But then her multiple variations of vinyls etc threw me off again. This is when the Bad Feeling About Her started setting in.

3. Then she released the song 'You're losing me' which just BLARED red flags to me even though the song is actually good. It's the first time I think, where she hinted that she broke up with her bf (Joe Alwyn) because of his mental illness.

4. The ongoing carbon emissions controversy lol, and her buying carbon credits... like it just felt like a "hah I'm rich so I can do whatever wrongs i want and buy it out" moment. I really hated that, since I live in a pretty polluted city so it hit close to home.

5. She threatened to sue the teenager who published PUBLIC data about her flights. Bad.

6. The entire free palestine movement gained momentum and she stayed silent. She has her image as the American Princess and Activist Who Can Do No Wrong. Feminist Queen. Speaker For Those Who Can't Speak. Yada Yada.

I simply hated her billionaire self as she chose to stay silent (and still is). To call off the criticism she and her bestie Selena went to a live comedy show where the comedian donated his earnings for Gaza relief. LIKE. ??????? Basic billionaire below underground level of "donation"???? This had to be a joke. It was not.

I think this incident was the final straw for me where I realized I can't support her if she's such a human being. That's not what my morals stand for thank you very much.

7. I REALLY tried to separate the art from the artist but I couldn't. Not with my sane mind and strong ethics. AND THEN the entire Matty healy debacle. He's a misogynistic, racist, zionist, ugh of a person.

I don't think anyone can date someone with such drastic opposing values. So the Taylor-Matty era further tarnished her image in front of me.

8. Fast forward and she releases her new album The Tortured Poets Department. That's it this was my final straw. You can just Google and go on a reddit thread about how problematic this album is. I'll probably write a long ass essay on it. Anyway this is where I decided I'm done, back in April.

Since then I've just been trying to cope with losing my fav artist because of the person she turned out to me. And people say we shouldn't hold celebs to such high standards but bro. Taylor PROMOTES parasocial relationships. SHE held her image to that standard until recently. There's an entire documentary on Netflix about that - Miss Americana.

So yeah she let me down from the pedestal she put herself on. It's been 2+ months and I'm still coping, because I genuinely lost a very important part of my life - her music. It has got me through tough times and I have many good memories associated with those songs.

Anyway, here's to new artists to love ONLY for their music lol 🥂

[faith--in-the-future]

Now you got me curious lol so which questions would you ask Louis if you were able to do an interview with him (on camera, not on paper)

ahh honestly so many ! and most importantly I would ASK HIM TO ELABORATE!! it drives me CRAZY when he says a hint of something bigger that he thinks and people LET IT DROP!! like UGH go deeper! ask him for examples etc etc and don't let him get away with vague answers lolol

in specific idk exactly bc I'd try to follow the flow of conversation and also it depends on what he's promoting at the time ! but guessing it was for an album I'd start with general questions about what was the "drive" for this album so like which concept(s) started it, is there something in particular you tried to communicate etc etc then asks about sounds, the production, specific choices he made etc (it's hard to do this based on an imaginary album lol)

more in general I'd want to ask him stuff like

- how come do you enjoy and support artists like the snuts or Sam fender or stone etc which like to make political and social commentary but you don't seem to want to make that kind of music yourself? (then elaborate based on his answer)

- love is such a central theme of your music and often it's portrayed in its most impervious and hurtful aspects, would you say that that comes from an abundance of experience in those aspects from you or is it more because that side just inspires you more ?

- what would you say are the most difficult parts of love/relationships for you? what have you encountered most that was hard for you?

- hope is another central theme of your music, do you feel like it can be hard to make hopeful songs without bordering on cliches or just empty optimism ? (and I'd reword the question also in reference to what seems to be his life motto too)

- in terms of hope, would you say that you were more cynical when you were younger ? and if so why do you think that is ?

- in your music and your life you seem to deeply appreciate and protect your friendships, but there's also a lot of longing for a partner in your music, do you think that friendships alone could be enough for you or are you someone who is happiest when they're with their significant other too? ( if he says the second option ) and what specifically do you find in a partner that other forms of relationships don't give you?

- your music is at times referring or hinting at sex, often with very effective and imo interesting metaphors and symbolism, but I wanted to ask is it a deliberate choice for you to be more symbolism rather than explicit on this topic?

- as a woman I have often felt objectified or sexualized by male singers and directors etc so I am always grateful that with your music there never are contents that make me or , from what I've heard, any of your female identifying fans feel that way, is that also something that u consciously decide to do or is it just subconsciously part of your work bc that's how you operate in life in general?

- speaking of these topics, you have said in the past that when you make music you take into consideration what that music will leave to the listeners, for example you try to leave them with hope and resilience rather than despair, do you ever feel like this ideal limits you while making music? like for example you'd write something but then discard it bc in your opinion it's not something that you'd want the listeners to be left with after listening?

- if that answer is yes then what would be some examples of things you avoid bc of that reason?

and I'd have MANY MORE QUESTIONS honestly I could go on all day especially if I had a whole new album to base them on!

then I'd also ask questions about his opinions on other things like

- in your opinion what is the worst characteristic of today's approach to music making?

- what do you think is lacking most in today's music and that you'd hope to see in the future?

- do you think that music fans sometimes also have a wrong approach to music too?

then I'd ask like

- you always talk about your relationship with us fans and how much you treasure it but it is no secret that you've had issues with certain aspects of fandom too, how do you juggle with contrasting feelings? knowing that those behaviors you have issues with (rightfully so) might be coming from the same fans that you feel loved by at concerts?

- in your relationship with fans I know you get comfort by our closeness and our comradery but do you ever feel like those aspects of it might be a double edged sword sometimes? bc fans might feel like they're entitled to doing and knowing more things than what is actually appropriate?

I'll stop now bc it would be too long but ahh ... so much to know!!

[shigerussato]

(FINAL) PALLETSHIPPING WEEK INFO!!! PLEASE READ + (Reblogs Appreciated!!!) 

hi everyone ! we’re legitimately a month away from palletshipping week my goodness does time fly haha. 

here’s some info you may know, as well as additional information i’ve added since i’ve gotten dm’s and inbox questions for my event so just so it answers questions that ppl may share. i’m highly encouraging you all read if you’re entering i added a certain aspect that i think is most important for this event. thank you so much for the ones who will be celebrating this pair with me and can’t wait to read all your pieces ! 🤍 

DATES! :

Palletshipping Start Date : March 29th 

Palletshipping Week End Date : April 4th (Palletshipping Day) 

you can start posting your first writing piece whenever it is March 29th for your timezone. that writing piece must be for Day One of palletshipping week. so please post these as the chronological order i have organized them. 

YOU ARE NOT OBLIGATED TO DO ALL SEVEN DAYS ! : 

tbh i’ve seen ppl entering my event saying stuff like “ugh it’s too much to handle” “oh i hope i finish all seven on time” “ugh i have up to three days only” and in the most sincerities way, it hurts me that ppl are pushing themselves and making a literal chore to finish all seven days. 

this is for you to have fun writing, and to share your passion for shigesato, not homework. and maybe i should’ve done a better job as the organizer and mentioned it from the start that you’re not at all in your obligation to do all seven days. 

so please only write what you can and topics you are more comfortable and find more inspiration to write for. 

if you write for certain days just post your fic for that certain day and it’s appropriate date for posting on that topic on. thank you. 

(that also goes for the potential artists that will be entering as well) 

POSTINGS/TAGS : 

When posting your pieces PLEASE try to specify that it’s for palletshipping week ! weather mentioning it on a note or tag under “Palletshipping Week” 

When posting your writing pieces you have two options : 

You may make this as a chapter book, example “Day One - Chapter 1 etc etc.” 

Second Option you may make it as a ‘Series’ Ao3 users you may be familiar with associating a fic to another as a part of a series so that’s a second option! 

as i mentioned other platforms are welcome, but since i only use Ao3 i don’t have familiarity with how others work so as you’d like to organize on other platforms is up to your preferences and knowledge. 

Also when posting your pieces please specify “Day One - Childhood Memories/Rivalry/Bickering/Teasing” you may just title it with the topic you chose to do with the piece. 

NOTE : your fics do not have to be named after the specific day topic you may make your own title but just specify (as mentioned) that it’s an entry for palletshipping week and the day the fic is associated for. 

OTHER INFO :

to promote your fics on here or other social media platforms you may use the tag “palletshipping week” to do so. 

ARTISTS ARE ALLOWED ! 

these topics aren’t only potential for fics but art as well ! so feel free to post and tag under “palletshipping week” and specify the days the art is for. 🤍 

i will be reblogging and sharing fics, art, edits that are made for palletshipping week so if you’d like to get it shared just tag it under “palletshipping week” as i specified !

NOTE : 

everyone and anyone who loves palletshipping is allowed to participate. you don’t need to be following me, be moots with me or any way associated with me. you’re allowed to have fun and do this if you’d like, me being the organizer has nothing to do with you not being able to do so. 

again, feel free to ask questions under this post, inbox or dm’s ! thank you and have fun with this, i’m very excited !! 🤍🤍

Topics Listed Below : 

[nazmazh]

Not that I speak for my whole generation, let alone GenZers too, but man...

My parents and their friends are such fuckin' Boomers(TM) about certain generation differences.

It's all "Nobody wants to work", "People want too much money for too little effort and that's why nobody likes hiring them."

And, like. Just... Ugh.

Trying to explain things to them from the point of view of someone who gets lumped in as "one of them damned Millennial socialist-types" (which, I mean, I am, but still - my points don't stop existing because of that) or what have you, would be like trying to explain particle physics to a brick.

They just utterly cannot wrap their heads around the idea that things have changed in significant ways.

That even with consumer goods being cheaper, the costs of living, especially establishing yourself when you're young have gone way up - Rent/housing, vehicles, food, maintenance, loan payments, etc. - God forbid you actually want to start a family on top of all of that.

While wages effectively decrease more and more, especially relative to the amount of actual productivity generated.

And that with that, a lot of the "stay late, put in 110%" mentality (while being toxic and fundamentally just being free labour for employers, which we're all more conscious of as being, well, shitty for us workers) - That stuff isn't a nicety that'll make you stand out and look good for an employer come promotion-time. It's just expected or outright demanded of you. And when it comes time to promote or at least give raises? Nah - They'll nickel and dime and hem and haw about giving their own workers more money or less duties - They'll just bring in someone who feels more exploited somewhere else - And then turn around and complain about disloyalty when their employees leave for greener pastures in the same way.

And we're all a lot more conscious of the ill-effects of too much stress and poor work-life balance, so we try to push back against being overworked and burnt out where we can (That being said I absolutely do know people my age and younger who willingly get into that "grind mindset" and I worry for them. Like, are they actually getting enough money to meaningfully get ahead? Or are they just working themselves into an early grave for no real benefit?)

It's no longer the "just walk in, shake the manager's hand, work in the same place until retirement and comfortably make enough to buy a house and raise your kids through university with your partner being a SAHP." world anymore.

Like, the Boomers just don't get that we're in a situation where working harder doesn't translate to meaningful improvements for our lives.

To the point that it feels impossible to meaningful get ahead and achieve "milestones".

And when you're stating that down, expecting it to only get worse because of policies Boomers voted into place and by-and-large continue to vote into place. And that this is the expectation of how your life is going to be for the next 40+ years- It does lead to a sort of crushing, existential despair.

And if that doesn't break you just a little bit, well you're probably doing a lot better than a lot of people.

So there's two approaches that emerge from that (and they're not mutually-exclusive):

The first is just to check out. "If this job isn't gonna pay my bills no matter how good I do it, I'm just gonna do enough not to get fired."

And honestly, there's always been people like this in the workforce. The Olds are just mad because "How dare someone young not hop-to when they ought to!" They'll complain about useless coworkers of the same age too, but not with the same vitriol. Not with the same disdain. And they won't dismiss the whole generation as "lazy" or worse because if them.

The second strategy is to embrace what you can - Enjoy our many frivolous things. Toys (including recreational vehicles), games, computers, phones, streaming services, makeup, clothes, good food, whatever floats your boat. Because, as I said, those sorts of things are relatively less expensive these days.

Because if you're gonna never really be able to get a house, no amount of cutting back on avocado toast is gonna change that. And there's no point in denying yourself little joys indefinitely to aspire to it.

And this offends The Olds, because, 'how dare you have conspicuous consumption of any kind of you complain about not being able to afford rent or a mortgage?!". And back in the day, maybe you could save a meaningful amount if you cut back on little luxuries, and it would make enough of a difference to get you into a house/whatever your goal was notably sooner. And it'd only mean tightening your belt for a pre-determined amount of time - Not in perpetuity.

And of course, that's assuming you have the luxury of disposable income at all. I know I'm relatively privileged with an MSc (even if disability means I can't work, myself), let alone any university, so my friend circle is largely similarly privileged. There's plenty of people - Both younger and older than me - That can't even cut back on luxuries to save, because there's no money going to luxuries, period.

I guess the shift is that even things that used to guarantee you a "good, middle-class life" aren't really guaranteeing that anymore.

The kicker is that they too complain about life being shitty, work sucking, etc.

But then when anyone proposes that maybe the whole system is broken and we could rethink it?

Well, now that's outrageous! "How dare you be so ungrateful and not just pull yourself by your bootstraps you lazy slacker?! And why bother trying to change things? Just get sloppy drunk every night at the bar after work or something like that. That's how we've always coped as a society!"

I don't know if I ultimately have a point or solution to any if this, beyond, like, a total societal shift in the way we approach labour compensation and property commodification.

I just needed to get this ranting out of my system after holding my tongue at the table, several hours ago at this point.

Because as much as I disagree with their whole approach, down to their utter lack of empathy for those suffering in a world they helped make, there wouldn't be anything meaningful for me to actually gain by engaging them on their misinformation in the heat of the moment.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to look up the difference between a fermion and a boson for a conversation I'm about to have with a paving stone.

[jewwyfeesh]

Tasty Travels - An Unexpected Journey 3

Writer: Mitsuki

Character(s): Suou Tsukasa, Tsukinaga Leo, Sena Izumi, Sakuma Ritsu, Narukami Arashi

Translated by: jewwyfeesh

Izumi: Don’t just go about randomly shoving things into other people’s mouths! Can you afford to pay if you somehow damaged my face?!

Translator's Notes: [1] 美味指挥棒 (original CN term) was used as a blanket term to refer to the biscuit sticks (pocky/pretz etc). As such, I decided to use a tl of the original term instead of mentioning either brands. 美味 - tasty/delicious, 指挥棒 - baton (conductor's baton)

Season: Summer Location: Port Town

<More time has passed>

Ritsu: This is our destination, huh? It just so happens that I’m a little hungry after waking up from my nap. Ahh~ Do y’all want to go look for something to eat first?

Leo: If you wanna eat something, there’s food here! Before leaving, the staff told me that the promotional materials in the car can be eaten as and when~ ♪ Before your arrival I already had some myself, they’re super delicious!

Izumi: Leo-kun, the promotional materials that you’re talking about… in no way are you referring to these chocolate flavoured biscuit sticks… right…?

Leo: There are lotsa flavours, take another look!

I dunno where the R&D[1] staff of this food company’s getting their creativity from, but I remember they created soooo many bold and imaginative flavour combinations! Fascinating!

Sena, you like shrimp, right? I recall seeing a shrimp flavoured one somewhere!

Izumi: There’s a big difference between real, true shrimp, and shrimp flavoured snacks! Ugh, soooo~ annoying!

…Then again, can these snacks really be made shrimp flavoured? Truly something to think about.

Arashi: Ufufu, who knows, it might actually be quite tasty. Even though it’s a snack, it should be fine if I just have a little nibble ♪

Ritsu: Suu~chan’s eyes are wide with anticipation~ Mhm, opportunities for you to stuff yourself silly with sweets are hard to come by, after all.

Tsukasa: Ritsu-senpai, I do not harbour any ‘anticipation’ for these kinds of things! I have always adhered to Sena-senpai’s teachings, and will never eat too many Sweets! These… these sorts of… Cookies are also off the table!

Leo: Biscuit this, snack that… All of you, take a good look at its shape!

All of you are also required to try it! I’ll shove it into your mouths!

Ritsu: (chewing) It’s pretty good~

Izumi: Don’t just go about randomly shoving things into other people’s mouths! Can you afford to pay if you somehow damaged my face?!

Arashi: The chance of being hurt by a ‘Delicious Baton’[2] is so low that it can be completely ignored. Mmm, it has a crisp texture and full-bodied taste. I’ll be sure to buy some for Kunugi-sensei next time~ ♪

Tsukasa: Seniors, please don’t forget that we’re to help with promotion. Don’t just stand around, eating our promotional materials so leisurely and joking with one another.

Leo: Suo~ Don’t be such a spoil-sport! Watch me use this ‘Delicious Baton’[2] to keep you quiet!

Tsukasa: Mmmhhh——!!

Izumi: You’re not allowed to give Kasa-kun any! He’ll get out of hand!

Leo: Sena, what kind of reaction is that? You’re just like those strict moms ya know? Using these restrictive methods of discipline… Suo~’s sure to hate you!

Izumi: What are you talking about, Leo-kun! You’re the one in the wrong in the first place!

Tsukasa: (Sneakily taking the biscuits from Leo) ……

Izumi: Did you seriously think I didn’t see that? No eating! Translator's Notes: [1] R&D: Research & Development [2] 美味指挥棒 (original CN term) was used as a blanket term to refer to the biscuit sticks (pocky/pretz etc). As such, I decided to use a tl of the original term instead of mentioning either brands. 美味 - tasty/delicious, 指挥棒 - baton (conductor's baton)

← chapter 2 | chapter 4 →

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[thesagebrushkid]

Starting Again

So, I am trying this tumblr thing out AGAIN. I never really understood it the first time.

So, I am here main just to promote not just my art and story series The Saga of the Sagebrush kid, but also to share (with anyone who gives a fig) the history behind the series, and also some inspirational images and stuff that really gets to my heart, spirit and soul. Most of it being nature and rustic living. Sometimes its random and hard to follow and I do not expect anyone to be able to follow it and understand it. Till now NO ONE has truly understood it all. It's been mistaken by many as "fetish."

I guess in some way this whole thing is some sort of fetish, but it's not what you think. This fetish of mine is a yearning desire to just be free to live a life of adventure that I want. Just to get out of our mundane world and into this other world that does not exist and just explore. To LIVE LIFE. To be a hero, to just...ugh! How can I share in words a yearning that's built up inside me for decades now? It's not just a cowboy thing either. It's that desire to ride the waves on an old galleon, to explore the vast woodlands like a ranger, to fight mythic monster in the landscape of ancient Hellas (Greece.) To explore and find ancient treasures or travel through Africa. To walk the city at night in the rain like a detective in some old noir film. Sometimes I yearn in silence for that wild adventurous side. Other times I would love to just "gear up" (or down in some cases) and just take in the sights, sounds and smells of such scenes. Even just sitting on the beach and watching the sunset. These days the term "aesthetic" or "core" is used for such wanted lifestyles.

Yeah, I am a bit of romantic.

So, between watching movies & TV shows, as well as RPing, LARPing, meditating, crafting, cooking and my artwork, I try to get live these "aesthetic" lifestyles. Sadly, in my current financial and health state, that's about all I can do. And even then, I am VERY limited. Meanwhile this my yearning form some aesthetic lifestyle grows. Grows to the point where there are some days I actually shed a tear, because I cannot. Trapped by my health or trapped by my surroundings of what NORMAL society dictates.

Any of this making sense so far to anyone??

Am I normal doc??

Well anyway, I will not bore you anymore. Let just leave it at - This is the Sagebrush Kid. this is my OC (original character). This is his world. These are the people and adventures in his life I wish I could live. the stories and people (and even some of the events) in his life are a close, if not exact, interpretation of my own life. The rest I leave to all of your, those that wander onto my page. And maybe someday, someone that understands, who truly understands, will find comfort in what I have here.

[dontfeeltoohot]

Probably steamer or YouTuber au! I really like them both, especially the streamer stuff

Ok, I've had this idea in my head for a while now. Finally got it finished. Have 4.1k of the Fruity Four at a meet up with Eddie coming down with a cold. Features grumpy, sick Eddie accidentally taking how he feels out on Steve and Nancy. Oops. Also, bonus tweets from them at the end. Enjoy!

XXX

"Come on Eds, Rob, Nance and Chrissy will be here in thirty," Steve calls from the bathroom, where he's brushing his teeth.

Eddie, from under their beds covers, groans. They're supposed to be going to the mall to promote the new Microsoft store opening, be there to hang with some fans and try out the new stuff Microsoft's recently dropped. He's been excited; even if he fully thinks Razer is superior to all other brands, but waking up fifteen minutes ago with a stuffy head and sore throat is making him want to do nothing but stay in bed all day.

Hearing the faucet turn off, Eddie sniffles and waits for the inevitable. Sure enough, twelve seconds later the blankets are being pulled off of his shivery form, revealing Steve, standing there with an eyebrow raised. 

“Eddie, babe, you really need to get up.” 

“Ugh, fine,” the musician grumbles and rubs at his nose with his wrist, wincing as he swallows and his throat stings. 

Standing, Eddie blinks and heads to the bathroom to pee, wash his hands and brush his teeth. Some mornings he’ll eat, but today the thought of food is unappealing. Looking over, Steve’s wearing jeans and one of his favorite rugby style shirts, his hair falling perfectly like always. 

“Is this supposed to be a nice thing?” Eddie asks as he walks out, sniffling again when he feels congestion shift in his head. 

“Nah, casual I’m pretty sure. That or I’m going to get shit,” Steve jokes with a smile. 

Sometimes Eddie wonders who he must have pleased in the universe to make Steve Harrington want to date him. Steve, who’s so handsome and popular and wants to make everyone happy. Steve, who somehow loves Eddie despite his occasional grumpiness, his extreme energy and dramatics, his love for all things horror and metal music. They’re opposites in all the good ways, and they mesh well. Maybe the universe can be right about things. 

“Okay, cool. Think the fans will say something if I wear my striped shirt agai-hh! iiHGKtSCHew! hihGhhKSHew! h’IHNGkshhEW! - again? Jesus, sorry,” Eddie sniffles wetly and turns back to Steve, having turned away to sneeze into his arm. 

“Bless you. Probably yeah, but it’s also your favorite shirt, so who cares,” Steve shrugs. “ But remember it’s cold outside now, and it’s always colder in the mall.” 

“Okay mom,” Eddie smirks, finding his favorite striped, black and white ringer tee. 

Shaking it out so the wrinkles fall and then yanking it on, the long haired man goes to his and Steve’s closet, looking through the sweater options. It takes a minute, but the twenty six year old decides on a simple black sweater of Steve’s. It’s a little more form fitting than he’d usually wear, but his boyfriend is right- it’s October, it’ll be cold in the mall, and if he’s honest, he’s already a little chilly. 

Nose running, Eddie grabs a tissue from the box on their bedside table; the one that usually only Steve uses, and blows his nose quietly, annoyed when he hears just how gross he sounds. Washing his hands, the long haired man pulls his hair up in a bun to keep it away from his face, letting it be looser than it usually is, not bothering to redo it when it deflates a little. He hears Steve call him so he finishes up, shivering as he makes his way down the hallway to their living room and attached kitchen. 

“Hey, they’re about five away. Do you want anything to eat before we leave?” 

Steve’s munching on a granola bar and a banana, both of which sound awful to Eddie. He shakes his head and then lays it against his boyfriend’s just slightly taller shoulder, tired already. The other man lays a hand on Eddie’s back, rubbing up and down gently. 

“Thank you for wearing something warm and not just your t-shirt,” Steve says softly, dropping a kiss to Eddie’s curls. 

“Mm, kinda cold anyway. Thanks for being a mom,” Eddie teases, then scrunches his nose up, eyes fluttering as his nostrils twitch. He turns to the side, pressing his arm tightly to his face. 

“ihKhgTchew! hihnKtSHuhew! iinGKshEW!” 

The last sneeze is messier than Eddie anticipates and he keeps his nose buried into the sweater, turning slightly. 

“Can you grab me a tissue?” 

“Yeah, sure babe. Bless you, you feeling okay?” Steve grabs a tissue from the living room and hands it to him, frowning as Eddie quickly replaces his arm with the tissue wiping his nose and then blowing it. This time, both men wince. 

“Think I finally caught that cold you had a couple weeks back,” Eddie rubs at his nose again with the now balled up tissue, the tip and edges going pink. 

“Take it easy today okay? That shit took me and Robin out quick,” Steve puts a hand on Eddie’s forehead, which makes the other huff. 

He remembers just how quickly Steve had gotten sick, waking up fine and by 2pm he’d crawled into bed with a miserable sore throat, sounding like his head was filled with concrete. They’d had to call and cancel dinner with Wayne, who ended up driving out with plates of food he’d already cooked, giving them enough for a few days. 

“I will, but you don’t get to fuss, worry about you and your adoring fans,” Eddie cracks a smile, finally moving away from his boyfriend to wash his hands again. “Sounds like the girls are here,” he adds, gesturing to Steve’s phone that’s buzzing on the counter. 

Steve opens it and nods, laughing when he sees a selfie or Nance and Robin, both looking annoyed that they’re not instantly there. They meet them down where Nancy’s waiting, sliding into the back of her Honda. 80’s pop is playing, and the girls are holding hands, singing along. 

“Okay you two, tone the pda down,” Steve huffs, rolling his eyes fondly. 

“Hey guys,” Robin ignores the words, looking back at them. 

“You ready to hang out with teens who are in love with Nancy and Steve all day Birdie?” Eddie laughs, making Robin snort. 

“Oh definitely, maybe we’ll just join them.”  “Oh please, do you know how many people I see look at both of you?” Nancy rolls her eyes, turning the music down some. 

“Yeah, but we’re like, the sidekicks, ya know?” Robin gestures to them, Steve laughs loudly, gently smacking her shoulder. 

“Please, that’s why whats-his-name from that one show wanted to ask you out before he found out you were a lesbian. Definitely sounds like a sidekick.” 

Eddie leans his head against Steve’s shoulder, smiling when the younger of the two starts drawing random patterns on the palm of his hand, something they’ve done with each other for years. It’s calming and lets Eddie relax, eyes drooping as he listens to Robin and Steve bicker. 

“Is he okay?” Nancy asks, and the long haired man is sure if he opened his eyes he’d see the same almost parental worry that Steve sometimes exudes coming off of her as well. 

“Finally coming down with that cold we all had,” Steve informs, running a hand down his shoulder and arm. 

“Oh that sucks, on today of all days, damn,” Robin murmurs quietly. 

In less than fifteen minutes the four of them step into the mall. Eddie doesn’t go into malls often unless there’s some funko pop that Hot Topic or Box Lunch is releasing. As they walk past numerous clothing stores, Steve then makes a noise and gestures in front of them. 

“Oh man.” 

There’s a long line outside of the newly opened Microsoft store, a line that’s undeniably, mostly for them. There’s a lot of younger fans, but all of them recognize a few older ones that they’ve met before or can tell from what they’re wearing or how they’re talking. 

“Todays going to be so fun guys,” Robin grins as they get closer to the large number of people. 

Eddie coughs to the side and Steve looks at him worriedly, squeezes his hand, then smiles and says hello to a few people as they pass to go into the store to get a rundown on what they’ll be doing all day. Eddie follows, saying hi and grinning, excited and hoping that this cold will hold off long enough for him to enjoy the day. 

The employees are almost overly nice. Eddie always expects older people to scoff or tell them that what they do for a living is a joke. But no one ever has, at least to their faces. Today is no different. Everyone who works there is kind and incredibly helpful. Eddie takes to a middle aged woman, Claire. who claims that she’s the most tech savvy of any of them in the entire place. She reminds him of his mom before she let drugs waste her life away. 

“So we’ll let you guys just do your thing, talk to people, play with them. We have security just in case someone decides to ruin the fun, but hopefully that will be avoided today.” 

They all know what the guy; Rick the manager, is referring to. Back four months ago some guy had basically pushed himself on Nancy, tried to feel her up, and it had been a big thing in the gaming community. Eddie still thinks Nancy’s the most badass person he knows for continuing the meet and greet she had instead of stopping, and for not letting the guy go freely, pulling charges on him. 

They’re moments away from opening the doors, the four of them standing there with some employees, when Eddie’s nose starts running, making it feel sensitive and itchy. He turns away from everyone and hugs the crook of his arm to his face. 

“ihGkTshhhew! iiHGktCHEW! ihHgGKshhEW!” 

Steve and a few workers bless him and he nods his thanks, the large glass doors sliding open. Everyone walks in, and the chaos begins. 

All four of the streamers are happy to talk to their fans, play with them and joke around. Eddie pushes his energy, staying as upbeat as usual, as if he wasn’t lying in bed two hours ago wishing desperately for more sleep. He jumps around and claps and laughs, all his usual dramatics coming out as he poses for a few photos, jumping on Steve’s back for one, clinging to him. As the girls walk away, Eddie stays attached to his boyfriend, who’s chuckling. 

“You good babe?” 

“Yeah, just tired,” Eddie smiles, hopping off and once again falling into his usual madness, a few guys walking up, excited to show the couple something they’ve made. 

By noon, Eddie’s energy starts to waver. His throat’s feeling worse, sharp and jagged every time he swallows. His head’s getting stuffier, pressure behind his eyes starting to make bouncing around feel more like a chore. Between the runny nose and sore throat, the long haired man wonders if he sounds like he’s getting sick. 

“iiHGkTSH’ew! snf! hihKgSHhhew! snfsnf! ihEhgKSHhEW! Jesus, sorry guys,” Eddie turns around from where he’s sneezed into the neck of his shirt, wanting to shield everyone from his germs as much as possible. 

“Bless you! It’s totally ok, are you sick?” One of the teens asks, and Eddie shrugs, brushing the comment off entirely. 

He doesn’t want to sound rude, but he also knows that fans, especially the 18-22 year old girls, can get a little intense when it comes to them. Eddie’s feeling just sick enough that he can admit to himself he doesn’t want to deal with the drama of fans coming up and worrying over him. As vain as it sounds, he knows they will. He’s seen the way people fawn all over Steve when he’s been sick, how they ask him how he’s feeling, if he needs anything. 

“I’m fine,” he assures, smiling and asking about a tattoo she has, steering her to a different topic. 

When there’s a slight lull, and Eddie gets a moment where no fans seem to be aging attention to him, he walks into the back of the store. There’s a large hallway with a few doors; a manager's office, a break room, and a bathroom. He heads to the bathroom and locks it when the door shuts, then grabs a paper towel from the tray on the sink and blows his nose a few times. It doesn’t help to make his nose any less pink than it’s already become from the numerous quick swipes and rubs he’s done throughout the past few hours, but it helps with the runniness and the sheen around his nostrils. 

Washing his hands, the twenty six year old pauses before he gets to the door, eyes fluttering. 

“ihGKtCHuhew! hih-ikTSHhew! hh! iiGKshh’EW!”

Catching the sneezes in his hand, Eddie grimaces and grabs another paper towel, repeating the process of blowing his nose and washing his hands. When he’s satisfied he’s not going to need to do everything again, the long haired man steps back out and onto the floor. 

“You get lost?” Robin jokes, walking up to him. 

“No, sorry, had to pee,” he lies, though he’s not even sure why he does. 

Though he doesn’t get sick often, Eddie’s never had a problem admitting when he is, never been like Steve who refuses to slow down, to admit he feels bad, who will run himself into the ground till he’s laid up for days. The musician can easily admit when he feels like shit, when he needs to take a break. He’s already admitted it to Steve, so what’s the issue with everyone else? Why today does he feel the need to hide everything, he’s not entirely sure. Maybe it’s because they’re at a meet up, and he has responsibilities, or that he doesn’t want to bring everybody else’s mood down.

“Steve said you weren’t feeling well, you ok?” 

“I’m fine, you sound like the girls I just talked to,” Eddie rolls his eyes fondly, knowing she’s just coming from a place of love. 

He is fine, he tells himself, straightening a bit. He’s getting a silly cold. Maybe he’s a little tired, maybe his throat is aching and the congestion is starting to make it feel like he’s got concrete in his head. But it’s not a big deal, he has people who want to meet him, who have been excited for weeks to hang out with the four of them. 

Eddie starts talking to a few people, asking them what type of games they’re into, what they like. As more pictures are taken, silly and goofy, Eddie photobombing a few of the others, it’s clear to fans something’s up. He’s trying, he is, to keep up his usual energy, but as the minutes tick by, he can’t. Steve walks over and smiles, joining in on a conversation he and another guy are having, and when the man leaves, Steve guides Eddie to the back hallway. 

“How’re you feeling?” 

“I’m fine Steve,” Eddie doesn’t mean to get prickly, but he wishes people would stop asking him that. 

“Hey, I’m just checking in. I know that cold sucks ass,” Steve frowns. 

“Well I’m fine. You and Robin can stop worrying,” he grumps, rubbing a hand over his face. 

Nose sensitive, it starts tickling when his fingers brush over it. Eddie turns away, pulling the neck of his shirt up, angling his face down. 

“ihGKish’EW! hihhHKTschh’EW! ihKSHhUHew!” 

The sneezes sound messy- are messy, and Eddie sniffles soupily, coughing a little. He looks back up at Steve, who’s staring at him worriedly. The musician bristles, feeling petulant and moody. He doesn’t need Steve to hover over him, and certainly doesn’t need him to play mother hen. 

“Eddi-“ 

“Leave it. It’s fine, I’m fine. I have a cold, Steve, not the plague.” 

Before Eddie can continue, Steve steps closer and presses a palm to Eddie’s forehead, who sets his jaw and glares. 

“Baby, you’re warm, warmer than I thought you’d be. We need to take a break.” 

“I don’t need a break, I’m not a child!” Everything is suddenly too much. Eddie’s whole body feels sensitive, stretched too tight, and he feels anxious. 

“Really? Because you sure are acting like one right now,” Steve scoffs. 

Freezing, Eddie stares at his boyfriend before rolling his eyes, anger flaring inside of him. He turns on his heel and walks back out, leaving Steve standing there. 

The vibe in the store noticeably shifts. Both men are a little more tense, a little less enthusiastic. A few fans ask Robin and Nancy if something happened, and while both wave it off, telling them everything is fine, the women can’t help but wonder the same thing. 

“What’s going on with you and Steve? Did you fight or something?” Nancy asks Eddie, who turns slowly to look at her, his expression resembling a rain cloud. 

“Why don’t you ask him? I’m the child, apparently.” 

“Riggght. Okay, so you two definitely fought,” the brunette grimaces. 

“No, Steve decided he was going to become my keeper,” Eddie grumbles, sniffling and coughing into his arm. 

“I’m sure he’s just worried since you’re not feeling w-“ 

“I’m fine, Jesus fucking Christ!” Eddie doesn’t mean to let his voice get as loud as it does. A few fans look over at them curiously, another has his phone out. Steve and Robin watch with confusion. 

Of course that’s going to be put on Twitter. He can imagine it now. 

Guys, Eddie blew up at Nancy and he’s obviously upset with Steve. What a dick. Canceled. 

Swallowing, making his ears tug uncomfortably, Eddie plays with one of his rings. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to yell. I’m just tired of you guys worrying so much. I’m sorry.” 

“It’s fine.” 

Nancy’s tone tells Eddie it’s anything but, but he doesn’t press it. Not when they’re in front of people. Instead, the curly haired man nods and rubs his face, then his eyes get back to Nancy’s. 

“I’m taking a five minute break.” 

He walks to the back for the third time, trying to calm down. He feels like garbage, he realizes. He’s uncomfortable and tired, everything in his head hurts. His nose is itching again, and he rubs it roughly as he leans against the gray wall. Vaguely surprised no one’s followed him, he tops his head back and lets out a breathy sigh. 

“Are you okay? You’ve never yelled at Nancy before, or anyone.” 

Eddie straightens up immediately. Diagonally in front of him is a girl, maybe early twenties, looking curious, her eyes locked on his. He shoves his hands into his pockets and gives her what he hopes is a convincing smile. 

“We’re friends, all friends have arguments. We should uh, probably get back out to the floor,” he suggests uncomfortably, feeling awkward. 

“Yeah, but you seemed seriously upset. And you’ve been weird this whole time.” 

Damn. When did people start getting bolder? He would have never talked to someone like this when he was younger. 

“Look, it’s nice you care, but it’s kind of private, and-“ he rubs at his nose wrinkling it to hopefully keep the tickle in his head at bay. “-we really should be back out there. I don’t know if you’re allowed to be back here.” 

“I’m just worried, everyone on Twitter is worried. You’re not yourself today.” 

Twitter. Jesus, that website is going to be the death of him. Eddie takes a step forward to start moving, but then freezes, turning away quickly. 

“ihhGuhKTschhew! iihgkshEW! hihkGSHhew!” 

“Bless you.” 

“Thank you,” Eddie sniffles and blinks slowly, wishing the girl would leave. “Alright, let’s get back,” he adds, gesturing to the door that’s not but ten feet away. 

Side stepping the girl, he walks quickly back out into the store. Everyone around him looks at him, making him feel more on edge, so he tries to ignore them. A few people walk up to him and he gives a smile. 

“I actually need to find Steve guys, I’m sorry.” 

He tries not to feel bad that they all look disappointed. Seeing his boyfriend playing Fortnite in the corner on a large tv screen, Eddie heads over, leaning against the wall as he waits for them to finish. Steve glances up at him and rolls his eyes, but when they finish, he too excuses himself, making the others walk off. 

“Yeah?” 

“I want to go home. You were right. I feel like shit, and I want to go home. I’m not having fun anymore.” 

Steve softens and takes his hand, feels his forehead again. Eddie’s aware people are snapping photos but he can’t bring himself to care. Instead he leans into the cool palm, and his boyfriend frowns. 

“Go grab our stuff, yeah? I’ll tell the girls and Rick.” 

The walk to the break room takes longer than it should. A few people stop to talk to him but he politely explains he’s not feeling well, and that he’s sorry, but he’s actually trying to grab stuff so they can head out. Most of them seem to understand, telling him they hope he feels better. A few don’t get it, and Eddie has to be a little more direct. 

“Yeah, I’m just feeling pretty shitty, so I’m not in the mood to try and talk much more. My throat’s on fire,” he gives a tight lipped smile and when they nod, he keeps moving. 

God, this is definitely the worst meet up he’s been to. He’s not sure if it’s because of his awful he feels, or if it’s the fact their fans probably think he’s a dick now, but whatever the cause, when he steps back out with his and Steve’s backpacks, his mood is somehow even more sour. 

As someone snaps another photo of him ‘discreetly’, Eddie almost turns around and asks them to delete it. Instead, he stays quiet aside from his sniffles, finally letting himself deflate when they walk out into the parking lot of the mall. 

“Nance, I’m really sorry,” Eddie mumbles after coughing into his arm. “I didn’t mean to be such an asshole.” 

“I know. You’re sick, and I know you don’t normally do that. I’m sorry you feel so shitty.” 

Eddie shakes his head, sniffling more. 

“No, that’s not an excuse, I was a dick.” 

“Yeah you were,” Robin smirks from the passenger seat. 

“Alright, alright. Let’s just…all relax ok? We’ll deal with it later.” Steve says, his voice tired.

The musician feels guilty. When they get dropped off back at their apartment, and they’re finally inside and away from everyone, even their friends, Eddie grabs Steve’s hand. 

“I’m sorry I was an asshole to you too, Stevie.” 

“You were, but I shouldn’t have said what I said either. I knew you were sick and still picked a fight. So I’m sorry too. Now get your ass in bed so I can take your temperature and figure out what meds I should give you.” 

Eddie groans but does as he’s told, the bed sounding nicer and nicer. Yanking off the clothes he’s in, he tosses them in the hamper then shimmies on sweatpants and his oldest Dio tee. It feels nicer on his skin than the sweater had, and when he crawls into bed, he lets out an almost inhuman moan. God he feels awful. 

Debating, the long haired man finally grabs his phone and hesitantly opens Twitter. Instantly he regrets it. He’s got hundreds of notifications. Some are pictures of him and some fans, others are slamming him for acting the way he did towards Nancy. Some are defending him, some are asking if he’s okay. It all makes his head hurt worse. 

“Hey, got the thermometer,” Steve walks in, frowning when he sees Eddie’s face. “You okay?” 

“Fans are calling me out, which isn’t surprising. Still sucks though, that I even did it in the first place.” 

“Eds. You’re sick, and a little feverish. Nancy will explain. You can explain. And if they still have an issue, then their idiots. Everyone gets prickly when they’re sick. And you and Nance are friends, it’s not like it was a fan.” 

Oh fuck. 

“Oh fuck.” 

“What?” 

Eddie groans, rubbing his face and looking at his boyfriend anxiously. 

“There was a girl…she kind of ambushed me after I yelled at Nancy. Came into the back to try and talk, and she kept ignoring me when I told her she needed to go back. So I kind of just left her there.” 

Steve rolls his eyes. 

“These people need to learn personal space, Jesus. It’ll be fine. You didn’t yell at her, and you didn’t say anything rude. It’s fine Eds.” 

Steve slips the thermometer into Eddie’s mouth, effectively silencing him. It beeps twenty seconds later. 

“100.5. Definitely up enough to make you feel like crap. I’ll grab some Motrin and DayQuil. Just relax okay babe? It’ll all be ok.” 

Sighing, the older man knows he’s right, so he shuts his eyes and sniffles. Minutes later, he’s drinking disgusting fake cherry flavored DayQuil and swallowing two Motrin. 

“Thanks…I love you Stevie.” 

“Love you too Eddie. Let’s just rest now.” 

[shameaboutthedilettantism]

2022 Writing Year in Review

1. Number of stories posted to Ao3: 1, plus 2 chapters of a story I started in 2020...ugh, can I even call myself a writer?

2. Word count this year: 15,807 not counting all the ones written for stories that were never published

3. Fandoms I wrote for: Avatar: The Last Airbender

4. Pairings: Aang/Katara, Zuko/Mai

5. Stories with the most:

Kudos:

Bookmarks:

Comment threads: 

Word count:

Since I only published one story this year, it's obviously So I Wait for You with 50 kudos, 28 comments (oh wait, that said 'threads'..let's just say half that because I responded to most of the comments before I just ran out of steam for everything), 6 bookmarks, and 10,860 words.

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why): 

Well, I am a bit proud of the completed fic I published because now I believe I can complete a multichapter story. Some day I will finish The Only Way to Hold On!

7.   Work I’m least proud of (and why):

Umm, same I guess, since I only published one story. I find typos and stuff I hate every time I look at it. The last chapter was so bad the first time I posted it that I took it down and reworked large swathes of it before posting it again.

8.   Share or describe a favorite review you received:

Y'all, @coyotelemon is the kind of friend I wish everyone had. She is so kind and encouraging and every time I feel down on myself, I go back and read the final comment she left on my story

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

FUCK I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

Dilly!!!!!! DILLY?!?!?!???!!!!

This was— and I mean this with my whole everything— a perfect story from start to finish. It’s amazing, it’s hot, it’s hilarious!!!

She says a bit more, but it's maybe spoilery, so I'll leave it out. It's so comforting and serotonin-boosting to get a review like that, ya know? Get you a friend like Coyote, folks.

9.   A time when writing was really, really hard:

2022? Okay, mostly post July. I got a promotion at work then and the imposter syndrome and drowning sensation have been intense. Between work and some family stuff, I haven't had the focus or mental energy to write much.

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

The fight scene in chapter 17 of OWTHO. I hadn't planned for anyone to get really hurt, but I started writing and suddenly Mai's dress was on fire and Li was lying in a pool of blood.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing:  

I was really happy with my introduction of Meng in So I Wait for You

“Hey, Katara, why are you still asleep?” came the annoyingly perky voice of her roommate, Meng.

Katara surfaced slowly from sleep, where she'd been dreaming something warm and pleasant that dissipated so quickly it was gone by the time her eyes squinted blearily open. “Huh?” she queried, voice slumber-roughened.

Then she bolted upright. Her room was bright with morning, each corner illuminated by sunshine. A golden glow surrounded Meng's darkened silhouette and slashed bars of light across the wall behind her. What time was it? Why hadn't her alarm gone off? She patted her nightstand desperately, trying to find her phone so she could figure out how late she was.

Meng's snort of laughter stilled her hand. Katara growled, low and long, the sound rumbling in her throat and soothing her irritation. When would she learn?

After heaving a disgusted sigh, Katara asked “It's Saturday, isn't it?”

12. How did you grow as a writer this year:

Ugh. I don't think I did. My growth this year was professional.

13. How do you hope to grow next year:

I'd like to try to write some every day. Though I wish I could say something more profound like Choco and Northern did, but dang I really need to get more words out before I can focus on using metaphor and foreshadowing. Baby steps.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

I have to pick one? @coyotelemon, then. She helped me come up with so many ideas for So I Wait for You and cheered me on when I did writing sprints and left amazing comments. (but @flameohotwife, @princessofnewcorona, and Nettie Sprinkle helped so much, too, with joining me in sprints as well as cheering me on while I sprinted and having unhinged reactions to the bits I shared. I have such incredible friends!)

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: 

Soju. That's all I will say on the matter. I plead the fifth.

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: 

Make fandom friends who will encourage and advise you, maybe even beta read for you.

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: 

An' it please the Lord, finishing OWTHO.

Thanks for the tags, @chocomd @flameohotwife and @northerngoshawk