#uhhh get knifed. idiot

[muzzlemouths]

i want to crush him into a fine powder and spread him over my ramen

[screwitbaby]

naive

hamzahthefantastic x reader (fic)

day 5/7

[part 6]

summary: part 5 of the naive series baby!! you and mandy get some one on one time bc she’s going thru it until she sends you and hamzah off on an adventure of ur own ;)

contains: SFW and NSFW content… it’s going down.

w/c: 3.4k-ish

a/n: ik yall hate me atp but listen. listen. uhhh.. yk what just read it!

~

Hotel breakfast is really good. It's even better when you can be an annoying vacationer and sit in the dining hall to eat while wearing your pajamas. The dirty looks from the well-dressed staff does nothing to deter you from going to town on a plate of scrambled eggs and toast with assorted spreads. The one thing that is ruining your appetite, however, is your gloomy friend prodding her food with her fork.

"Are you sure you're okay?" you ask for what feels like the hundredth time that morning.

"Mhm."

Mandy continues moving her eggs around her plate and never taking a bite. She's been in a near catatonic state since last night. By the time you'd taken a shower and gotten unready, she'd already passed out in your bed without so much as an explanation as to what happened. You exhale loudly and she looks up.

"You know you can talk to me about anything, right?"

She drops her fork. "I think Martin is hiding something from me."

"Oh!" Your eyes widen and you try to look confused. "What makes you think that?"

"He's been acting so weird," she says, resting her elbows on the table and holding her head in her hands. "Even before we came on this trip... I don't know. Something's off."

"What d'you mean?"

"He's being so secretive," she says. "I don't have proof of anything, but he's, like, really bad at acting innocent."

"Is that why you guys have been fighting?"

"Well, I don't exactly want to fight with him!" She tosses her hands in the air. "I wish he'd come out and say whatever it is. It drives me crazy that he acts like nothing is going on."

In that moment, you consider blurting out the truth. Talking about Martin's proposal idea would be so much easier than sitting back and watching the couple get into trivial arguments from Mandy's growing paranoia. But alas, you've sworn to secrecy and you really don't think it would be your place to ruin the surprise, even at a time like this.

"Have you asked him about it?"

"Yeah. He just deflects. I thought I could get him to talk last night, but I ended up crying because I got so frustrated with his cryptic bullshit."

You're stuck on what to say. It breaks your heart to see Mandy like this, but there's not much you can do without giving away her soon-to-be fiancé's plan. It's not exactly a conversation you thought you'd be having to mediate.

"If it makes you feel any better, I don't think Martin is doing all of this to deliberately hurt you," you say, reaching across the table to hold her arm. "He loves you. A lot. He's just an idiot sometimes."

Mandy smiles, but it doesn't reach her eyes. "Thank you."

"I mean it, Mandy. What you guys have is really good. Don't let a bump in the road ruin the rest of the journey."

"When did you become such a beacon of wisdom?" she asks sarcastically, looking down at the table.

"I'm trying my best here. Be grateful." You begin to laugh and she joins in.

You bring your plate back in front of you and gesture for her to do the same. The two of you chow down and talk between bites, discussing what other places you could visit before your inevitable departure from Curaçao. Despite the challenges, it's been an experience for the books and you take a moment to reflect on the joy that it's brought you.

As you take a sip of your tea, your phone buzzes in your pocket. When you unlock it, you open up the message notification and bite your lip to hide your smile.

i see u

"Is that Hamzah?"

You look up at Mandy and your face flushes. "Huh?"

"You remind me of when I first started talking to Martin." Mandy points at you with her knife.

"Shut up," you groan. "Is it really that obvious?"

"Yeah." Mandy nods. "Plus I saw his name on your screen."

You glare at her and she giggles at your expense. Over her shoulder, you spot him. He's in the buffet line, also in his pajamas, and you stare for a little too long at his grey sweatpants. When he turns his head in your direction, you duck behind Mandy's figure.

"He's coming." You use your phone camera to quickly assess your face. "I look rough. Fuck."

"Girl, you look fine," Mandy says, rolling her eyes, "and you've literally slept next to each other. It's nothing he hasn't seen before."

"Wow, uplifting. Thanks."

When you dare to raise your head again, he's making his final few strides towards your table. You smile and wave, and he attempts to do the same. He shakes his hand that's holding a cup of coffee and it sloshes around, nearly spilling all over him. Mandy gives you a funny look before greeting him.

"Good morning," Hamzah says cheerily.

He places his plate and cup next to yours. You scoot over so he can sit down, but he moves to sit so close to you that the sides of your thighs are pressed up against each other.

"Good morning," you reply, slightly taken aback by his chipper mood. "Sleep well?"

"I slept great," he says. He takes a bite of his eggs with bacon and looks between you and Mandy. "So... was it a breakup?"

You slap him on the arm and scoff. "Come on."

"'M just asking!" he all but shouts, earning the three of you a couple more dirty looks. "Last night looked serious."

"No, we didn't break up," Mandy mutters. "But I'm considering it if it means not having to deal with you anymore."

"That's mean," Hamzah says, taking another bite of his food. "I'd stay friends with you if I broke up with Martin."

"Don't talk while you're chewing," Mandy warns.

"Thorry." He swallows his mouthful. "So what are we supposed to do if you guys are still fighting?"

"I don't know, Hamzah." Mandy sighs. Then she looks at you. "I don't really feel like going out today. Maybe you two could do something."

Your eyes narrow and she shrugs innocently. "Where would we go?"

"Google some nice places. Walk around the city. It can't be that hard."

"I'm down," Hamzah says. "I'm in charge of directions, though."

He smiles mischievously and you mock him, making him laugh. You turn to Mandy, noting the way she's picking at her food again.

"Will you be okay? You can stay in my room, but I don't know what time we'll be back."

"There's free WiFi and room service. I'll be fine. Go have fun."

Mandy was right. Finding something to do in such a tourism-centered area isn't hard. The difficult part is spending time with Hamzah with no social buffer to avert the tension between the two of you. You hope it's not too apparent that you're staring at him every chance you get, but you can't find it in you to care about getting caught anymore.

"Now we go left," he mumbles, placing his hand on your shoulder to direct you to the crosswalk.

You know he tends to be touchy with his friends, but with how awkward he usually is about it, this feels different. Even when you hung out as a group back in Toronto, you could always sense that Hamzah was a little more hesitant around you. You chocked it up to not knowing him that well, despite having mutuals. Being close with each others' friends did provide an entry point for your friendship to blossom, but this trip has done more for your connection than all the time you've known him previously. Maybe it's because you're in such constant, close proximity now that your initial attraction to him has finally taken shape, unavoidably so.

"Alright, it's down from here," Hamzah says, gesturing at the beach you're nearing.

"I didn't bring a swimsuit," you say, furrowing your brows.

"We're not swimming." He shakes his head. "Over there."

You look to where he's pointing and take notice of the mountainous landscape surrounding the beach. Their overarching coves reach the edges of the shore where the waves splash against the rocks.

"I'm not cliff diving. No way."

You stop in place and cross your arms. He turns and walks a few steps back to you.

"We're not doing that either, my gosh," he grumbles playfully and takes hold of your hand, "follow me."

Hamzah leads you through the sand to the bottom of the ridges. This beach isn't nearly as busy as the one near your hotel, so the silent walk with your palm in his feels all the more intimate. The sun is less harsh under the arch, but the sand is still warm beneath your feet. The soft earth easily gives way as you take a seat in the deeper parts of the rocky expanse.

"How'd you know this was here?" you wonder.

"I found it before the trip," he says, stretching his legs out in front of him until the waves are barely licking at his skin. "I didn't think I'd get the chance to visit, though."

"Guess it's a good thing for the fight then," you joke. Hamzah looks at you with his face scrunched up and you share a laugh. "Sorry. Too soon."

You stare out at the horizon, absentmindedly cupping the sand and letting it pour down between your fingers. The waves are crashing, but there's a quiet serenity inside of the cove that makes you feel at peace.

"Nah, I just think we talk about them enough, right?" He leans back to rest his weight on his palms and your eyes flicker to the sight of his shirt stretching across his pecs. "Wanna talk about us."

"Right," you agree. "I never really expected this."

"What?" he asks. You become aware of how close his body is to yours.

"'Us.'" You make quotes in the air with your fingers. "I didn't even think you saw me that way."

"Really?" he questions, tilting his head. "I thought the same thing."

"Hm. Funny."

You move to lay on your back. You'd decided against changing out of your pajamas—the two of you look infinitely more out of place in such beautiful scenery—but it makes for great cushioning against the ground. Hamzah stays unmoving, looking straight ahead.

"Do you see us being the same way? When we go back home?" He speaks outwardly, eyes on the view.

"I don't know. Do you?"

"You answer first," he says, smiling at you from over his shoulder.

You roll your eyes and try to push yourself further into the sand, as if it'll provide a protective barrier between him and the words you're going to say next.

"I hope so," you answer honestly. "I don't see why it’d change."

"What if it doesn't feel the same?" he asks like he's talking to the sky. "What if it's just because we're here, y'know? Isn't it usually a 'what happens in Vegas' thing?"

"Oh, so you've done this before?"

Hamzah groans and you snicker, flicking sand into his pocket. He doesn't notice so you continue until it's full, giggling to yourself.

"Of course not," he says, shaking his head. Some of the sand trickles out. "I guess what I'm saying is...I hope you don't feel that way."

You take a deep breath to calm the butterflies that erupt in your belly and sit up. You look at the impression your body has left in the sand before turning to completely face him, criss-crossing your legs.

"I won't," you promise. "I couldn't."

"Good." Hamzah's eyes finally meet yours. "I don't think I'd be able to handle it."

You grin and let your fingers trail up the side of his neck, not wanting to hold your affection back any longer. He closes his eyes as you trace his cheek, the charming acne scars and slight stubble on his jaw acting as a roadmap for your fingertips. Then, you cup his chin and lean in. His lips move softly against yours. He places his hands on your thighs and runs his fingers across your bare skin where your shorts have ridden up. It's almost like the whole world goes on mute, and all you can possibly focus on is the way his touch awakens every cell in your body.

Without breaking the kiss, Hamzah pushes you down into the indented sand until he can comfortably slot himself in the middle of your legs. He holds himself up with a hand by your head, the other resting on your waist. The gentle caresses turn heated, and pretty soon the two of you are full-on making out, pulling each other closer and closer until his body fully surrounds yours. You love how he hums when you wrap your arms tighter around his neck and run your nails across his shoulders.

You can't get enough of him, holding his hips in place with your knees as your tongues entwine. When his hand strays below your hoodie, you pull away momentarily to slip it over your head. He helps tug it off you when it gets stuck, the two of you giggling quietly before tossing it away and locking lips again. His fingers trace a path up your torso, clad in nothing but a thin tank top. His palms slowly find their way higher up, and you moan when he gives your chest a testing squeeze. Upon hearing this, he squeezes again before running his thumb across your nipple, making you shiver.

His hoodie comes off soon thereafter, except he's completely bare underneath. You run your hands down his chest and his stomach clenches under the ghost of your touch. When you reach the edge of his boxers, he breaks apart to leave kisses from your cheek down to your neck.

"I-I didn't really prepare for this," Hamzah whispers against you.

"You didn't shave?"

"No, idiot," he scoffs, making both of you giggle giddily. "I, um, didn't bring condoms..."

You breathe out as he continues kissing your skin. "That's fine. We don't have to do anything."

Your fingers are tucked in his waistband against his happy trail, but you make no effort to move them. If it wasn't evident already, his erection presses against you painfully, a reminder of how close yet so far you are from what you're craving. Still, he seems determined to make the most of the moment. He sucks on the spot below your ear, making your mouth drop open in a breathy moan.

In a hasty decision, you take your tank top off and lay back down. Hamzah's eyes follow along your newly exposed skin and he leans down to kiss a trail from your collarbone to the valley between your breasts. His hands leave a wake of heat everywhere he touches you, yet goosebumps rise on your arms when his lips reach your lower stomach.

"Can I?"

He looks up at you, his eyes half-lidded and his hands on your shorts. You nod and raise your hips so he can pull them off. When he sees your underwear, he raises an eyebrow.

"You wear boxers, too?" Hamzah jokes, tugging on your waistband and letting it snap against your skin. You flinch and he laughs.

"They're comfy!" you defend, blushing. "I wasn't exactly planning for this, either."

"I'm kidding. Why would I care?" He leans up on his forearms to peck your lips. "They're coming off, anyway."

He reaches under your final layer of clothing and you gasp when he touches you where you need him most. His lips part as he dips into your wetness, bringing it up to circle your clit deliciously. You grasp his bicep and your other hand holds the back of his head as he continues his delightful assault on your throat.

When you feel his fingers inch into you, your hips jut forward. He whispers praises in your ear as he fucks his fingers into you, first slowly then relentlessly. You can't contain your moans. Your fingers tug at his curls lightly when you feel the knot in your stomach forming. All too suddenly, he pulls his hand out of your underwear and you whine.

"As much as I like 'em, they gotta go," Hamzah says, leaving one final kiss on your jaw before dragging your boxers down your hips.

He flings them aside and you breathe heavily as he descends to your lower body, situating his head between your legs. He plants kisses on the inside of your thigh teasingly, dipping his head down only to start back at the top with the other thigh until he has you squirming under his grip. Just when you think you've reached your limit, he bites at the swell of your thigh and connects his mouth to your core. Your lungs spasm as you feel his tongue flick your clit, struggling to catch your breath at the surreal sensation.

He sucks on your bud and has you a complete mess of moans under him. Loosening his grip from your thigh, he makes eye contact with you as he brings his hand back to your center and his fingers penetrate you steadily. Your back arches and he groans when you clutch at his hair. He suctions his lips, watching every reaction and noise you emit without once coming up for air. It's a dizzying sight, and your head lolls to the side as your moans get louder. He works harder, curling his fingers, toying with you in all the right ways to make you fall apart.

"Just like that," you cry out, "Hamzah, please."

You're panting at this point, yearning for a release that's sure to send you reeling.

"C'mon, baby," he murmurs. "Cum for me."

The quickening of his pace has you clenching around his fingers, and as soon as he speaks those words, you screw your eyes shut and let your climax overtake you. Your jaw slackens and you throw your head back. Your legs shake uncontrollably as you call his name out in broken gasps while you ride out your high. The scent of saltwater and moss fills your nostrils, and all at once your vision clears when he lightly kisses your sensitivity. You sharply inhale and white-knuckle the sand below you. Your other hand wraps around the side of his neck to hoist him back up so you can be face-to-face.

Hamzah's arms cage you in and you pull him down to lock lips. He tastes sweet. Then, he rolls the two of you over so you're sitting in his lap while he lays flat.

"All good?" he asks, holding your cheek.

"Perfect."

You lean in to kiss him again, propping your hands on his chest. Teasingly, you grind your hips against his and he groans.

"Stop," Hamzah grunts. "I don't wanna cum in my pants."

The friction makes you shudder, but feeling how hard he is makes you not want to stop. You laugh and do it again, making him squeeze your hips. He halts your movements and grins, his chest rising and falling rapidly.

"That's it."

Without warning, he sits up and you wrap your legs around him, latching onto him like a koala as he stands straight. The swift switch in positions makes you squeal. His palms cup your ass as he walks out from underneath the cove.

"What're you doing?!" you screech, clutching him as tight as you can.

"I asked nicely and you didn't listen!"

He cackles maniacally as he wades deeper into the water. When you're up to your hips in the waves, he turns backwards and sends the both of you plunging into the ocean. In an instant, you're soaked to your bones and springing up to the surface.

"You bitch!" you nearly scream as he re-emerges beside you. "I'm butt-ass naked!"

"No one's here, don't worry," he says, wrapping his arms around you from behind. "Look. Just us."

Hamzah lifts you in the water and swings you around to show you the entirety of the vacant beach. He's laughing above you while you smack his arms to let you go.

"Okay, I get it! Put me down."

You plummet into the depths once more.

~

a/n: sorry to disappoint w the lateness again this would’ve been updated sooner if california didn’t literally go up in flames around me and half my roof tiles got ripped off my house from the crazy ass wind (another one flew off as i typed this). also my dumbass friend deleted tiktok off his phone and we lost our 231 day streak bc he can’t get it back no matter what we tried. also elon did the hitler salute?????? what is going on. anyways lmk if u enjoyed or want me to rot for eternity <3 love yall sm

[tryingtofindava]

i saw the tyler fic u did where instead of him being impale, it was his gf! do you think u could do that but with aiden’s gf and the ceiling? 🫶

── SHE HIT THE FLOOR! NEXT THING YOU KNOW!

{[AIDEN CLARK X FEM! READER]}

A/N: is the title lyrics from Low by Flo Rida? Yes. Do I think I’m hilarious for this? Also yes.

: ̗̀➛Back to Source

Covering Ashlyn’s ears with your own shaking hands as she trembles from the crazily loud bangs coming from Taylor’s shotgun.

Watching as she shoots the ever loving fuck out of the creepy massive centipede. “… Yeah, uh- Tay, it stopped moving.” Aiden nodded with an uncomfortably big smile, though his semi assuring words fell upon deaf ears.

Giving her a thumbs up as he’s crouched right beside you while you help Ash, having a hand on your shoulder and giving you light squeezes to comfort you or himself, you couldn’t tell.

Taylor upon taking notice that creature is in fact dead…. Hopefully… She lowers the gun as Logan comes up behind her, grabbing her shaking hand soothingly. “We need to hurry in case it recovers.” He spoke reassuringly to the panting Taylor.

Watching the others rummage around the small office while you stood watch at the doorway, was a stressful experience having to keep watch to make sure no phantoms got in while also keeping an eye on Tyler (who was getting his bandages changed again by Ben.)

No one could find the keys… “Where are they?!” Taylor seethed, slamming shut another keyless drawer. “Coach must’ve moved them again!” The brunette complained while starting to rummage through another drawer.

“Does he move them often?” Ashlyn questions quietly, doing her own searching.

“Yeah, because idiots like Jay and Conner keep messing with them!” She scoffed. You would’ve giggled at Taylor being so frustrated for what seems like the first time ever if it wasn’t for your current situation.

You were leaning against Aiden who was fiddling with his army knife, flicking the blade out and flicking it back. “I feel a minor sense of Deja-vu.” He murmured in your ear while smiling to himself. It never failed to amaze you how your boyfriend could always smile no matter what was going on around him. “We have 3 minutes left,..” Logan called out to inform the group.

Ashlyn perked up at a certain sound her super hearing picked up on, she looked over at you and Aiden. “Guys, there’s a straggler.” Carrot-top warned.

Aiden sniggers, nudging you “Yeah, I can hear it running.” And with that he stabbed the smiling demon monster right in the face, making you cringe at the disgusting squelching noise it made as he pulled the knife out of the phantoms face.

“Got it!” Aiden hummed enthusiastically, skipping over to Ash to show her the black substance it left on his knife.

She of course rolled her eyes, ignoring the bleached blondes antics, her eyes falling back to you. “Is there anymore, Y/n?” She quipped in curiosity, still hearing phantom noises.

You peaked out the door, looking left and then right. “Uhhh… nope, we’re good.” You answered, looking over your shoulder at her.

The walls and ground shook, “Huh…?” You murmur to yourself in confusion. “EVERYONE GET UNDER SOMETHING!” You heard someone yell, you were too busy keeping yourself balanced to register anything else in the moment.

POP

The last thing you saw was Aiden reaching out to you, before the ceiling collapsed. “Y/N!” He shrieked, racing towards you.

That’s when it all went black.

“C’mon! Get her under the table!” Taylor helped Aiden carry you to the table, everyone crawling under it. Logan, Ben and Tyler hiding under the desk on the other side of the room.

Aiden cradled your body in his arms, rocking back and fourth with he was staring at your face in horror. Blood was leaking from your forehead, and it was also trickling from your nose.

Taylor, Ashlyn, Aiden and you all huddled together under the desk, everything was shaking violently. Aiden was on the verge of tears as Ash wiped the blood from your nose with her sleeve gently while her other hand was clasped tightly over her ear, that’s when he noticed your eyes were wide open and an unsettling grin stretched across your face.

In the real world Aiden shoots up from his sleeping spot, looking around the room until his eyes fell on your shaking form. “Y/N!” He yelled out again. Which caught the attention from the adults in the room over, including your parents/parental figure.

Before he could even get to you, the adults were already surrounding you. Trying to assist your violently thrashing form.

You coughed and wheezed, “I’m okay! I’m fine!” You assured the adults pushing hands away, while also trying to calm your heart and and breathing. “…I’m okay, really…!”

Aiden pounced on you, hugging you tightly, muttering incoherent words while pressing small pecks to your hair and forehead. You leaned into his touch, tears welling up in your own eyes just like his own.

“Don’t scare me like that again.” It was the first time you’ve ever heard him sound so serious…

[halfbaked00q]

my biggest takeaways from Casino Royale:

Bond my madlad failwife from the very beginning <3 he was so cool! and then he flips over a fence like an idiot lmao. and then! he drives a bulldozer through a fence! menace!

ah he learned the gun throw thing from uhhh the freerunner guy! very hilarious that this is, somehow, one of the root of all Q's future woes. rip to all of Q's fancy guns. they never had a chance

absolute madlad. Yeah lets run the guy down onto A FOREIGN COUNTRY'S SOVEREIGN SOIL LOL. on, actually, ANOTHER COUNTRY'S SOVEREIGN SOIL, STILL. on CAMERA, no less. amazing. god, you absolute nightmare (affectionate). and also!!! knife boyy!!! at the casino!! I love you, insanegirl

I wasn't originally sold on M as Bond's Mommy and my concession was they Mommy'd her up in Skyfall, but like. mommy-in-law'ed her to Bond vis a vis Silva. Cuz SILVA was the one with the mommy issues with M, and was like, we are brothers, you and I. But now that I've gone full "okay yeah the man did not come out of the factory with Mommy Issues but he certainly picked them up like Normal Wear and Tear." guess that's what happens when you have a wire mother (who doesn't even give sustenance lmao...). viewing the Bond M relationship through a mommy school of literary criticism lens DOES lend an extra wild edge to their interactions tho. Cuz they have these moments where her expression & voice soften and in any other context, this would be the Show Emotion Get Real moment, but then she says the most out of pocket dehumanizing wild shit lmao. "Bond maybe you're too much of a blunt instrument" blah blah- but he isn't one! he's smart as hell, those are just choices he makes lmao! he does this but with wild-ass decisions catastrophic for international relations and resulting in massive property damage:

considering it another W for me cuz Bond! is sooooo subby sub sub boy. Vesper was bullying the fuck outta him and he was sooo "got so bricked up I blacked out and didn't catch any of the rest of that" or whatever variant of that meme. He is sooo into being like. what do you call it. gentle humiliation? like humiliation kink but done with a smile. and then a praise at the end (she complimented his butt and she was like owo you think my butt is cute?). to ME. vibe of my this post (& its linked citations). But even with Solange he was very giving submissive & breedable lol. Hell yea pin that man to the floor, I see you are also a man of culture

Bond Was An Aspiring Sugar Baby from the very beginning.... what do you mean he okay yay'ed himself with Vesper making her sign in for them when they checked in to the hotel lol

He's literally sooo smart he finds M's real name finds her house breaks into her house... and then the opening b&w scene when he's in the shadow with the beautiful beam of light artfully across his face & reveals the clip... soo smart,. and also, gave me noir femme fatale vibes lowkey)

and ofc. infamously. yes Bratty brat brat boyyy

other rando thots

my god he's young in this (about a man who is still fully older than I am)

I think Daniel Craig like. has better control of his mouth in this..?? like I think in later movies he does more of that thing where you carry tension in your mouth and he like. pouts when he shoots. which always kind of twings me cuz Im like now surely a seasoned professional wouldn't do that... but he doesn't seem to in this one? or if he does it's not like. Very noticeable

Vesper in the movie is soo much better than book Vesper, but like, I knew that lmao

men should- be covered in blood and grime and preferably on their knees or slammed against some surface <3

Daniel Craig has rly cute nipples. can I say that? he does, tho. somehow. they just are. lmao

[misguidedasgardian]

Please let there be a scene where the reader gets stuck in the Stepson Jace au.🙏

Uhhh kinky, I like it

Warnings: cursing, groping, inappropriate relationship, kinky trope, fingering

In moments like this, you missed Harwin, like every time you entered the garage, it was like an unknown world to you

Jace had been so nice to mown the lawn for you, but you needed to change the knifed from under it, they were old and rusty, and you were aware that there was some new ones in the garage

So here you were

You got in the tip of your toes to reach them being in the last shelf of a big metal shelves

"Where are you?", you heard Jace call

"In the garage!", you screamed back, you grabbed the blades, but lost the momentum, dropping them between the trays, making them fall to the ground loudly under the heavy metal shelve

Now this is when you should have grabbed a broom or something, but you didn't want to

And now is when you committed the second mistake

Instead of being belly down on the floor, that is was really dirty, you jus kneeled, and then you crawled under, trying to grab the blades.

You bend over yourself, ass out, some sort of a doggy position but with half your body under the shelf

And that is how Jace found you

He got hard almost as soon as he saw you, your big round ass, on display for him

"Jace?"

"You ok?", he asked lowly, he grabbed his cock over his pants, trying to accomodate it, so you won't notice his big fat cock all hard for you.

You tried to crawl back, but suddenly stopped

"i'm stuck!"

"What?", he asked, suffering dejavu from his favorite porn trope

"I can't get out Jacey", you whined, the shelf move dangerously over you when you tried to pull yourself free

"Stop that!", he said, closing the gap, kneeling by the floor beside you, "the whole shelf will fall on you"

"Jacey!", you whined, but it sounded more like a moan, you wiggled your ass and Jace truly believed he could come on his pants just by looking at this scene unfold in front of him

"Wait..", he said, seeing as your shirt was caught in a loose metal bar, "you are going to scratch yourself", he could have easily reach that guilty metal bar, but that wouldn't be as fun... he placed his hands by your hips, hardly controlling himself to place them in that delicious ass instead

"Jace?", you called, feeling his big warm hand sneak under your shirt, by your hips

"Relax, I'll get you out", he purred, sounded like a purr, of a lion that is about to pounce, you moved, nervous, but your shirt rolled over, uncovering your lower back

To reach further, he, with pleasure, lined himself with your ass, to lean over you and be able to move the boxes from over the lower tray

He didn't care anymore, no when you giggled your ass again right over his crotch

He pressed himself to you, making sure you could feel completely his cock between your ascheeks

"Jace!", you whined, but the from the position you were in, crushing your own chest, it sounded like a shriek of pleasure, and that...

That made him snap

"I think I deserve a treat from all the lawn mowing I did today", he teased, his hand coming back from your sides, caressing your skin

"What are you doing?", you asked, a bit scared, he could hear it in your voice, and he was going to prove to you you had nothing to fear, and much to desire

"Shh relax baby", his hands stopped in the hem of your cotton leggings

"Jace...", you didn't say no, "you shouldn't do that", again, you didn't say no

"I think I need to", he purred

"It's wrong", you whined, as he rubbed his cock against your ass, he wanted to take his time, "please"

"I think is the best thing we could do", his voice was thick with desire, as he pull down your leggings slowly, uncovering your soft, squishy ass

His father was the most idiotic cunt this world had ever seen

To let this go

"Jace!", you shrieked, as he slapped one of your cheeks

"Shh", he shushed you, grabbing your ass spreading your cheeks to see your cotton panties barely covering your wet pussy, "Fuck.. so wet for me", he couldn't control himself no longer, he removed your panties, and started teasing you with his thick finger, teasing your entrance and then fucking you slowly with your finger

You started moaning shamesly

"Jace please"

"Please what?", he groaned, with one hand taking care of you, his finger already wet, drawing squelching noises from your cunt, and the other going under his pants to take care of himself.

"Help me up so I can enjoy it", you whined pitifully, "please", you begged, rubbing your ass against him needily

@champomiel @urmomsgirlfriend1 @sweethoneyblossom1 @lukepattersin @ladylyanna91 @snowflake-latte @bruher @bellstwd @inesven @iamavailablesstuff 

[srslyscary]

body swap?! pt. 1 // bonten

;; alternative title: swapping bodies with bonten sanzu.. clearly a nightmare.

| Contents: SFW , reader is written as she/her but can be considered gn, mentions of drugs, reader lives with bonten

- uhhh.. idk man get ready for ts.. if there are any grammatical mistakes or words that don't seem to make sense just lmk bc sometimes I don't proofread these and my fingers mess up my writing at times.

This was supposed to be a normal morning.

Supposed to be are the key words.

"No fucking way." The woman, or rather... man... looked into the mirror.

"This has got to be some type of dream." She said, doing a full 360. She was no longer the beautiful woman she expected to wake up to be... no no... she was her fucking druggie boyfriend, Sanzu.

She slapped herself a couple of times, hoping it was a dream. Realizing it wasn't as the pain of being slapped so hard came to her. "Oh god no, please god no."

She ran to her boyfriends bathroom, turning on the sink and running water down her face.

Alright bud I don't think this is gonna change anything.

Realizing she couldn't really change this outcome, she became to sob dramatically. "WHY?!"

She didn't have her nice vagina or perfect boobs, but very muscular pecs and a shlong that felt quite heavy. She felt tired standing to be honest.

"How the fuck do men handle all this weight?!"

She sighed, falling to the floor with her hands covering her face. "I'm my drug addicted boyfriend— am I being punished for my sins or something?!"

Yeah you are.. nah I'm just fucking wit ya.

After a few hours, it was around the time breakfast would be made. She decided to make her way down by the elevator, and hopefully finding her boyfriend, who was in her body.

"Morning." She spoke out. Everyone seemed to jump, not being startled by who it was, probably by the fact that they were hearing Sanzu greet the group, which he never does.

"Good morning to you as well.. Sanzu?" Kakucho tilted his head in confusion, everyone was sat eating breakfast. The only people who hadn't come were Mikey, and Sanzu... well... Sanzu in YN's Body.

The elevator was heard opening once again, and everyone looked to see who it was.

"Good morning Boss." Kokonoi spoke, leaving the girl in Sanzu's body fuming. 'WHERE THE HELL IS THAT IDIOT HARUCHIYO.'

"Hey Sanzu... where's YN? She's usually one of the first people down here." Kakucho seemed to question the girl of where her boyfriend currently was.

"Uh... I- Well—"

The elevator dings once again.

...

"GUYS GUYS GUYS I HAVE BOOBS, HUGE BOOBS! LOOK—" The female stopped speaking, grabbing her... chest..and squeezing them.

...

"Oh-"

It was Sanzu. Of course in YN's Body. The female in Sanzu's body became to fume, it looked like smoke was... coming out of her head...? Yeah Sanzu brace yourself buddy.

"You...YOU GROPED ME?!" YN screamed, grabbing a knife from the kitchen. "WAIT WAIT WAIT- BABE HOLD ON-"

You basically just chased him around and grabbed the nearest thing you saw (which unfortunately was a knife) and were about to kill him with it.

“What… is happening.” The boss spoke looking unamused as he watched his #1 chasing his gf with a knife.. while everyone else just looked flabbergasted as they didnt even have a clue what was going on.

safe to say this was a rough experience and you’re currently trying to explain to them all what the situation is.

[cant-icle]

one of the untitled ones. pick one, any one

yea ok

uhhh this one was last edited 12/18/19 and is pegoryu, i'll post the whole thing under the cut bc its like 700 words

Despite all earlier efforts to dissuade him, Akira really wants a pineapple burger. 

So they’re gonna go sneak out of the hotel to get one. 

This is incredibly stupid; Ryuji may be an idiot, but he’s not dumb. He’s also about as strong as wet tissue paper in the face of Akira actually telling him he wants something. Big Bang Burger is open 24 hours here in Hawaii (crazy!!) and they’re actually going to sneak out of the hotel to go get one.

Akira meets him in the hallway, his hair a mess, his eyes gleaming. “Are you ready?” he asks, barely a few centimeters from Ryuji’s ear. “If we get caught, we just say we’re getting something out of the vending machines for Mishima, okay? He drank some of the tap water and he’s been complaining all night.”

“Shit,” Ryuji wrinkles his nose in sympathy. “Yeah, okay. Let’s do this.”

Amazingly, they don’t get caught.

There’s no teachers in the hallway, no staff out this late at night; there is a Makoto near the front desk, but her head is buried in a book and it’s child’s play to creep around her and through the automatic doors and out into the night.

Ryuji very wisely waits until they’re halfway down the beach to the shopping strip to whoop. They did it! Got out of there scott-free! Sure, getting back in’s gonna be just as tricky, but that’s a problem for later! “Dude!” he says, half-gasping, prodding Akira’s shoulder with his fist over and over until Akira ducks under his arm and jabs him in the ribs. “Man! That was—”

“We do sneakier things in the Metaverse all the time,” Akira reminds him, but the knife-grin on his face belies the adrenaline he’s clearly feeling too. “It was just getting past Makoto.”

“Seriously, I thought she was gonna look up—” He bumps his shoulder into Akira’s, lightly at first and then harder, until he’s almost overbalancing both of them and Akira’s shoes slip in the soft sand. “We were almost toast!”

“Are you— get off me, what are you doing? I’m not gonna carry you—” 

Despite his complaints, Akira’s laughing; he hears it in the husky undertones of his voice, and leans all the harder into him. “You’re a big strong thief, you can hold me!”

“You’re the musclehead! Why aren’t you carrying me?”

“You want me to carry you?” Ryuji asks, grinning wide. Akira looks at him, then steps backwards. “Nah, Aki, you want me to carry you?” 

He reaches out but Akira’s already sprinting off, stumbling in the soft sand

“So,” Ryuji asks, more distracted by the feel of the waves curling soft and warm against his calves than anything, “how is it?” 

Akira chews for a moment, a moment Ryuji spends admiring the shape of his jaw and the curl of his hair in the moonlight. This should feel like the least romantic thing in the world, honestly; he can’t smell anything but the grease wafting off the fry bag clamped in his hand, and Akira’s got sauce smeared up his cheek, his hair shoved up and off his forehead by his stupid dumb fake glasses.

But the moon turns his skin to porcelain and his eyes to gunmetal, leaches the color from his clothes until he’s as much a part of the night as any other piece of the scenery.

“S’okay,” Akira finally says, but his pleased expression and the way he twists away when Ryuji sways closer to his hard-won prize betrays him. 

“Worth it?” Ryuji presses, sloshing closer, until their sides touch.

Akira chews a little more, Ryuji following the motion when he swallows. “Salty.” 

“Could be the ocean air.”

“Could be.” He takes another bite, a mournful moue crossing his face when he sees how little there is left.

“Man, why you gotta be all stoic? You like it, you like that big dumb piece of pineapple on bread, don’t you?”

“It’s not dumb!” 

“Then y’wouldn’t mind if I—” Ryuji sways down towards it 

and thats it!

[alipeeps]

Episode 39

I am honestly fucking scared to start this episode. *whimpers*

Ahhh so the plan is to get rid of Xiao Heng before the battle kicks off (because they're scared of him - cowards!). Not sure leaving the princess to ensure his death is their best plan though?

Wait up is that real Zhao Ke who's escaped from shitty uncle or is this fake Zhao Ke again carrying out the plot to bring Xiao Heng to the princess?

Ayyy you go grandpa!! That'll throw a spanner in the works of Wanning's little plan! 😁

Oh for fuck's sake, I was right, wasn't I? Yurong *still* wants Xue Li (still thinks he has any fucking right to her, like her opinion on the matter doesn't count?!!) and I bet that's what he asked Lord Cheng for as reward.

So he in one move poisons the princess, to justify the rebellion, and "saves" Xue Li from her prison. What does he think, she's going to turn around and be so thankful for the rescue that she'll take him back?!

Oh you absolute little shit of a man. Grrrrrrrr.

Oooh holy shit, confronted by poisoned Wanning as he's walking out carrying drugged unconscious Xue Li.

Pleeease Wanning, please, put those sociopathic tendencies to good use and kill the fucker. Take him down with you. Go on!!

"Haven't I treated you well?" WHat? WHAT? Bestie, do you even listen to yourself?

Go on girl stab him. I know you got a knife there somewhere. Stab that fucker.

Better yet, take out that hairpin he gave you and stab him with that!

Nonononoooo you did it all wrong! You were meant to stab HIM!!

Him having stabbed you does rather screw up the plan to blame your death on the emperor though so thanks for that I guess...

I wonder was the poison actually intended to fake her death not kill her, as discussed with Lord Cheng? Cos if so, that's you out of favour with the dude who was your meal ticket to success if the coup works out.

You're screwed fella. Whether the coup succeeds or not, the emperor will have you killed for killing his sister.

Meanwhile where the fuck in grandpa Xiao who is meant to be coming to rescue Xue Li?

Please don't despise me? Bestie, what fucking drugs have you been taking?

Your ruined her reputation. Tried to kill her. Plotted against her. Just told her that you're going to kill the man she does love. But it's all ok sweetie, afterwards I'll clean myself, and we can go back to being husband and wife just like before, ok? I mean wtf?!!

PLEASE tell me Xiao Heng gets to personally end Yurong's life. PLEASE.

Oh thank fuck, I was just gonna say AGAIN, where the fuck is grandpa Xiao and his rescue mission? Props to the old boy for jus straight up kicking the door in.

Oh dude it's the Luoyang bandits to the rescue too! Yassss! Get the fuck in there boys!!

Well fuck, shit's going down for sure cos Xiao Heng is actually armed with a sword rather than a fan.

Does... does he really think anyone would believe what he was claiming? If the emperor was going to imprison his sister, he certainly wouldn't do it so openly, and tell her consort why he was doing it! Wtf who would even believe such nonsense?

They better not kill my baby idiot boy Wen Ji! They just better not!!!

Oh I stand corrected - he did have a sword when he spoke with the emperor... but apparently he feels Lord Cheng doesn't warrant such extra effort and ngl I agree with him there. Kill his ass Xiao Heng!!

OOOOH it's a motherfucking METAL fan!! Yasssss bitch!!!

A metal fan AND his daddy's sword. Hell yes.

Uhhh yeah Xiao Heng. sweetie... he's got armour. And you don't.

Fuuuck that shoulder throw was a badass move!!

Sorry fella, what were you saying? What do wise men do again?

Ngl I especially love that moment cos it's a subversion of such a common trope in cdrama - in the middle of a massive battle, you stop to wax poetic about your motivations with your opponent. Of fucking course in a real life battle someone would take advantage of your grandstanding to shove a fucking sword into you! 😂😂😂 Well done that nameless soldier! Bravo! 😁

Ayyy it's Jiuyue and the Great Zhao boys!! Woohoo!!

Ahh shit, how's Lu Ji gonna fight off that many on his own?

Ayyyy pappa Jiang!! Never thought I'd be so happy to see that old fucker! 😁

You go pappa Jiang. You shoulda kicked him in the nards instead though.

The director really likes the imagery of a fighter's foot sliding/splashing into a puddle as they are pushed backwards in a fight. It's rapidly getting right up there with the wind machine in popularity.

"I rescued your wife." Oh grandpa Xiao you are really fucking growing on me!! 😁

JFC pappa Jiang's face!!

He's like wtf? When did this happen??!! 😂😂😂

Ngl though fellas, romantic as this is, you really don't have time for this. There's some fairly important shit going down right now. The slow-mo hugs really should wait.

JFC dude it's not just because of Xiao Heng that Xue Li won't look at you! She's never gonna look at you. You could kill every other man in the world and she'd still not look at you!!

Plus where was this fucking rabid devotion to Xue Li and being with her no matter what when the princess ordered you to kill her? Oh, that's right, nowhere!! You DID fucking kill her... except you're too fucking cringefail to make it stick!!

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck! WHat a place to end the ep! Fuck!!

(Please tell me in ep 40 Xue Li turns up and puts a fucking arrow right through that fucker's face!!)

[sucrows]

any tips for someone who just got their first car?

why do you ask me, an anime idol gacha mobile rhythm game erotica writer, this

I mean I do have tips, but still, why

Some essentials i recommend leaving in your car just in case:

Something sharp like scissors or a knife

deodorant

hand sanitizer

paper towels

pain medication (just something generic like acetaminophen or ibuprofen)

bandaids

a jacket

umbrella

what else uhhh

do not fucking skimp out on oil changes. please. trust me.

drive in a way that's predictable, not in a way that's nice

Comfort yourself with the knowledge that everyone else around you is also trying very hard to get where they need to be safely.

Remind yourself that you also don't know them and they may be idiots. Treat them as such.

use your turn signal

use your seatbelt, regardless of customs wherever you are

learn how to change a tire, check your oil and ideally, how to change your oil

the few minutes you'll shave off by speeding can be offset by literally any little thing, it's not worth it

Committing traffic violations if you are visibly not from the area (having plates from a different province, state, country, etc) is wayyyyy more likely to get you a ticket. Cops are pigs and will target you because they know you likely will not be able to make it to a court day to contest it. Smaller towns are also worse in terms of giving tickets

If you get a ticket, try to pay it asap (if you intend on doing so and not contesting it). then call whatever department you paid and VERIFY that they've received the payment and you're no longer liable.

don't leave food trash in your car. did you know cars can get roach infestations? that they can get ant infestations? it's disgusting. don't let it happen

ngl gas station apps kinda slap. some are better than others but for the most part they all get you cheaper gas and cheaper treats. try out a couple for the ones in your area and see which ones give you the best deals

I didn't include this in the list but if you have any medication you take daily (or take in response to certain circumstances), see if you can spare a few pills to store in your car in case you ever forget/need to take one asap

[blodgmonster]

EoS and ToD tandem reread commentary part 2

-- the southern continent has some really excellent world building. Fascinating

-- SJM seems to have a thing for mountains in clusters of three. The three mountains of the Night Court and now the three mountains of the ruk riders.

-- Sea dragon Lysandra *chef's kiss *

-- I can't belive it didn't occur to Aelin or Rowan to have her take the wyrdkey OFF before unleashing her magic.

-- Lysandra is the true MVP of this fucking battle. Taking out all the remaining warships and all but one of the sea wyverns. Aedion gets honorable mention for taking out the last remaining wyvern with his well aimed bolt.

-- "I am going to marry you...One day. I am going to marry you. I'll even be generous and let you pick when, even if it's ten years from now. Or twenty. But one day, you are going to be my wife...Princess Lysandra Ashryver sounds nice, doesn't it?"

-- "I love you. There is no limit to what I can give to you, no time I need. Even when this world is a forgotten whisper of dust between the stars, I will love you."

- ThErE's NoT eNoUgH sPiCe In ThRoNe oF gLaSs. Shut UUUUUUP. The spice we get here is suuuuper hot. Quality over quantity, folks. I like spice but some moderation is good too.

-- Isn't the eye of Elana the Lock? Or is my memory shitty?

-- again, I must protest. This tandem read is a slog.

-- I love Elide.

-- yooooooooo Lorcan and Nesta would be an interesting combo with their death powers

-- READ HIM TO FILTH, ELIDE

-- "War is sanctioned murder, no matter what side you're on." Preach, Manon

-- I love that several of the MOST lethal folks in Erilea are absolutely down to throw hands to protect Elide. Elide, who thinks Aelin disliked her and is willing to be her dishwasher.

-- Can I just say Im SO glad Aelin is puking from anxiety and terror not pregnancy. I know she'll have to have kids as the queen, she needs to provide heirs but I don't need to read some sort of Feyre debacle with her almost dying for drama's sake.

-- "For the first time in five centuries, Lorcan knew true fear as Elide turned that knife on herself, the blade angled to plunge up and into her heart." YOU LOVE HER SO MUCH

-- Elide gives Lorcan a kiss on the cheek and they promise to always find each other and he's so shocked and he cuts up his shirt to make pads for her. YOU LOVE HER SO MUCH IT MAKES YOU STUPID!!!

-- I know he only thinks it for a second but I can't believe that Chaol even thought for that second that Aelin might be the one burning Ellywe. Idiot.

-- "He was a champion bastard." Well, you got one thing right, Chaol.

-- Chaol is SUCH a cantankerous asshole. He's always fighting with someone, USUALLY the people who care the most for him. UGH.

-- "Where are our allies, Aelin? Where are our armies?" Aedion, now is not the bloody time.

- "Aelin was no savior to rally behind, but a cataclysm to be weathered." Uhhh, she's both, thanks. That's my girl!

-- Farasha!!!!! I love her!

-- Yrene's horse is described as a chestnut with a black mane. There's a word for that. Bay.

-- Yup, Yrene, who is an uncomfortable rider is galloping flat out across the desert. And holding her own against someone who's been riding since they were 6. I know there's magic and shit but that's hard to believe lol.

-- Elide reuniting with Aelin and Aedion and Manon. Hearing her mother’s last words. Instantly being met with love and respect when she thought they'd shun her for her disability.

-- "Your claim on her, male, is at the very bottom of the list." I fucking love you, Manon.

-- all the most lethal people in the land when they see Elide:

-- Yo, Ansel!

-- I forgot Aelin gets Kasida back!!!!

-- it's all going so well. Stay tuned for part 3 when it all goes to hell in a handbasket!!

[wingedcatgirl]

incorrect quotes generator tag meme

so there's this incorrect quotes generator on perchance, and @worldsfromhoney tagged us to toss some of our ocs in it >:)

This was fun, so I'm tagging @kung-fu-cutbug @kitdriveyards @comicallycubicalcassie @pure-vanilla-lilies @kiraheartilly36 and uhhh anyone else who sees this and thinks "oh this looks fun" to also try this. if they wanna.

Oh and it's lengthy as h*ck cause my basic-bitch fandom trait is that I really fucking love incorrect quotes -

(programme note: there's a character in leaf story whose name doesn't get revealed for a rather silly amount of time. it's kinda an open secret on our discords but lol)

(redacted): *holds a gun out to Leaf* Leaf: I-I don't believe in guns. (redacted): Well, trust me, they're very real. Now take it.

Leaf: This bloodline ends with me. (redacted): That's the fanciest way I've ever heard someone say "I'm gay".

(redacted): I have lots of friends! Leaf: Name one. (redacted): Well, there’s- Leaf: Name one you haven’t gotten incredibly angry at. (redacted): Hey, that’s not fair, then there isn’t any!

(redacted): I’m doing what I can to jog your memory. Leaf: It’s jogging, I guess. Its tiddies are jiggling a little. (redacted): Nice.

Leaf: Think you can answer some questions without the usual level of sarcasm? (redacted): If you can ask the questions without the usual level of stupid.

(redacted): GET BACK HERE YOU DUMB FUCK! Leaf: LET ME RUN FROM THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY ACTIONS!

And now let's add some canon characters into the mix:

Colette: I didn’t know that air fryers are a real thing. Used to think that they were made up by the internet as a funny joke and that their purpose was to “fry air”. Leaf: WAIT, BUT IT FRIES THE AIR TO FRY THE FOOD?? Colette: I DIDN’T KNOW IT WAS A KITCHEN APPLIANCE, MY FIRST ASSUMPTION WAS SOMETHING AKIN TO AN AIR CONDITIONER! Lloyd: IT’S NOT LIKE AN AIR CONDITIONER???? (redacted): You guys clearly don’t own an air fryer.

(redacted): How late were you up last night? Leaf & Colette, in tandem: Me? (redacted): No, not you two. You stay up late all the time. (redacted), to Lloyd: You.

Lloyd: What is love? Colette: An emotional minefield. (redacted): A neurochemical reaction. Leaf: Baby don't hurt me.

Leaf: ARE YOU- Zelos: Fucking. Leaf: KIDDING ME?! YOU- Zelos: Fucking. Leaf: IDIOT! (redacted): …What was that? Zelos: Raine banned Leaf from swearing, so I’m helping her out.

Leaf: I give up. I am so tired. Raine: Get the emergency supply! (redacted): carries Zelos and places him in front of Leaf Zelos: smiles Leaf: AND I AM BACK BABY, LET’S GOOO

Zelos: Subs are so fun to play with. All you have to do is hint at what you might do, back them into a corner with a look, or grab their wrist in a certain way and they're a wide-eyed mess. Raine: What the fuck kind of Subway are you going to? Leaf: Substitute teachers deal with so much shit. (redacted): Guys.

leaf is absolutely just committing to the bit on that one

Zelos: Hi, could I ask how exactly does one accidentally set a lemon on fire?? Raine: Microwave for 40 minutes. 😔 Leaf: Why were you microwaving a lemon??? Raine: I read boiling lemons helps cover up up bad smells (I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges) but I didn't own any pots. (redacted): Did you burn an orange too? How??? Raine: Microwave for 40 minutes. 😔

Raine: I’m the smartest person in my friend group. (redacted): You hang out with Leaf, Lloyd, Colette, and Zelos. (redacted): It’s not as high a compliment as you think.

Colette: So, did everyone learn their lesson? (redacted): No. Leaf: I did not. Zelos: I may have actually forgotten one. Lloyd: Also no. Colette: Oh good, neither did I. Raine: *Exhausted sigh*

Raine: A mouse! Lloyd, pulling out a knife: Go back to where you came from or I'll stab you. Zelos, pulling out a frying pan: It'll make a nice meal! Colette, giving the mouse cheese: You deserve a treat, little guy. (redacted), gasping: It's Ratatouille! Leaf: His name is Remi, dummy. Raine: …I was going to say to just trap it and throw it out the window… what is wrong with you people.

Lloyd: Wait, hold up, why you draw yourself like that? Leaf: Uh, like what? Lloyd: Like with gorgeous, muscular legs. Leaf: Uh, this is what I look like. Lloyd: Leaf: THIS IS WHAT I LOOK LIKE! Lloyd: Okay, then I want big beefy arms. Hot ones. Colette: I wanna have a cowboy hat! Leaf: Okay, arms and hat. *draws them* Zelos: Ooh, give me a cowboy hat too! Leaf: You can't just take Colette's hat idea, Zelos! She thought it up all by herself like a good person! Come up with your own thing! Zelos: BUT I WANNA LOOK COOL! Raine: Put Zelos on one of those stupid baby tricycles. Zelos: NO!! Leaf: Tricycle, done. *draws it* (redacted), want anything? Raine, making finger guns: Pew pew. Leaf: A blaster?! No, that's not really our style, (redacted). (redacted), making finger guns: Pew pew. Leaf: You know what, okay. *draws it* But it's just for holding, not for shooting.

[fleshst4r]

Oh. Oh No. Welp, I'm gonna do this (all under the cut lol)

1: I can't remember, but I THINK it was my old FNaF OC, Fangle? (Not based on original Foxy at all, only Mangle, Lolbit, and Funtime Foxy lol-)

2: Yep! It'd either be Starfall, Spark, or Foxclaw

3: Yeah lol- many! Can't name em all lol

4: Jean, Wren, and Robyn lol. Two boys and their mom

5: Rose, 100%. She's been with me since 2020 and is my wonderful lesbian girlboss <3

6: I don't really have any like that, but I do have two who are alike name-wise but aren't related: Night and Light lmao-

7: YES. All of the ones I've named except for like Strawberry are all in either my novel I need to write, my fanfic I need to write, or one of my RPs that I've been expanding on!

8: Yep! One of them would be Carrion; sentient killer robot who doesn't want to kill actual people go brrrr

9: Any I'm not that invested in, yes! It'd probably be like a background character or a character I don't care much for tho, lol- like Bubbles (who's kinda been forgotten about-)

10: Oh god- probably like, Tiks or Eli or their still unnamed brother- they have some Complicated designs lol

11: Exry <3 my daughter (who I totally won't kill off)

12: *Insert all of my partners OCs*

13: SPARK. You weren't meant to be that important to me but you are now!

14: Oh god where do I begin- Rose was a living science experiment, Pollux and Castor were both orphaned at a young age because of how they were born, everyone who went to VA all have so much trauma-

15: YES. I've literally ranted about the mythology before to my partner lol

16: I have no idea! Probably Delta, or Rose

17: Rose x Exry, Carrion x Sunny, Delta x Tiks

18: Faetrix x Trash (all my homies HATE Faetrix‼️)

19: Rose. She's one of the OCs I've cared for the longest, and kick-started this entire thing

20: I like to think that Delta would sing to the Shadowlings after Rose died, especially to Shade. Idk how they'd sound, tho-

21: Kia! Totally isn't a self-insert (they are)

22: So far, no! I don't post much about my OCs lol

23: Rose again! Was originally a FNaF Security Guard OC, and now she's getting a whole novel for a world I made for her

24: Starfall! I wanna give them a hug (and a knife)

25: In looks, Rose- in personality and everything else, Kia (because I kinda AM Kia!)

26: Nope! And I'm happy to keep it like that =]

27: I used to have this one OC who I can't remember the name of BUT she was based off of that one song- it was uhh. iNSaNiTY by CircusP? Good song, terrible OC

28: Faetrix. He just won't die

29: Night or Glitz. They did do that. Idiot gays

30: Max, he does have one-

31: Rose would reblog memes from Twitter I just know she would

32: Bro I have no idea ngl- maybe like, Delta? That dude just can escape Anything-

33: I CAN'T REMEMBER HIS NAME UHHH- his name was something like... Exera or something

34: Yes. Wren and Robyn, Castor and Pollux, CC and Jade, Light and Rain...

35: Yep. Xelqin and Ex, Delta and Achro and all of Phoenix's other kids, Foxclaw and Sparrowfeather, Stormspark and Rainmoon and Cloudfall...

36: I genuinely have no idea what this means

37: Ooo uh- how about my girl Cloudfall =3 pale grey and white tabby warriors OC with daddy issues (her dad Ashcloud abandoned her, her siblings Stormspark and Rainmoon, and her mother River)

38: Delta or Spark! The two mainly do it in their spare time lol

39: Rose is a science experiment that made Catgirls real lol- she has red hair, darkish skin, and green eyes =3 her tail also has like. A random band of black on it-

40: When me and one of my friends were originally writing UATW, we decided on having a throw away character named Bubbles. Idk why myself

41: Nope!

42: Probably Delta lol- she would honestly compare his dad to Zeus and that is not a good thing

43: They all prefer cats over dogs except for like. Night and Alex

44: That I can project all of my problems on them =]

45: Fangle- I haven't forgotten her but my gods. She is OLD and I will never use her again

46: No =]

47: I think the same friend in 40 might've? I don't think so though-

48: River =3 my girl has gone through Too Much just let her kill her ex husband (I control her entire story)

49: Rose

50: Rose used to be a FNaF Security Guard OC and now she's the reason I learnt I enjoy writing, she is very near and dear to my heart

Some OC questions

[thecoolerliauditore]

ok uhhh. not a fan of the changes made to the first death(s) in the game. in the manga this first death being entirely player-caused is a. Massive game-changer for how everyone else behaves for the rest of it. the big theme in this game is trusting eachother and the fact that most of the players see someone Stab Another Guy To Death puts alot of their behaviour later on into perspective.

this also really messes with the rest of the character's personalities too, probably the most glaring example is:

manga banda straight up telling akifumi to stab genki with a fucking knife vs show banda telling akifumi to tell genki the wrong mark. of course in both instances banda is telling akifumi to kill genki, stabbing someone and getting the game to kill someone on your behalf are two very different levels of personal involvement and show banda ends up seeming like a much more. Grounded person as a result than intended to be because yeah. if someone beats the shit out of me so I can tell them their mark, lying and having them pay with their life would be at the forefront of my mind too.

the manga is aware that this is The Normal response, since manga akifumi (who is characterized as being meek) does this on his own with no egging on from banda

as for genki, this is relatively minor compared to banda but I'm not a huge fan of show genki just. believing akifumi's lie since in the manga him not buying it was kinda a nice little subversion of the brute force solves everything archetype he represents. manga genki was a big dumb idiot but he was a big dumb idiot who understood how to play the game well and I always thought that was neat and have believability to how this guy managed to survive until now.

(there's also the tiniest bit of self-awareness here which is. cool to me)

meanwhile show genki just believes akifumi and dies lol.

finally, I think ippei's non-existence in the show is really going to impact us more and more down the line because urumi's character is just getting. stranger.

In the manga, it's emphasized to us again and again that ippei's group is essentially the weak protecting eachother and seto presents a dilemma -- abandon the values of the group (protecting the weak) or put everyone in the alliance in danger by associating with him.

abandoning seto is the first sign of the group's cracking foundation, as it shows everyone in the group that the alliance has conditional factors and that the other members are not completely to be relied on or trusted. it's this discourse that urumi later weaponizes to turn everyone against eachother (and how it backfires on her as well).

In the show, Urumi simply recruits Seto and then directs the others to lie to him about his mark. This sudden turn from "hey wanna hang" to "let's kill him" is such a dramatic shift that, even if Urumi herself is insane and doing this for her own entertainment, it feels weird for the rest of the group to follow her lead.

All in all just. very seemingly minor changes that make the plot overall much less cohesive.

[ssaalexblake]

Actually, the thing that’s so annoying about people whining that the timeless child arc changed the arc the show has been on before it, as in, kid in barn, outcast, bit of an idiot failure, is that for the commentary of the arc to Work it insists that all of the above Stands as it always was. 

The metaphor of the arc is that the timeless child was an avatar of the victim of colonization. They were ‘saved’ by this society that was so much more Advanced than their own, but uhhh no actually they just stole, abused, used and highjacked the child’s abilities and claimed them as their own advancements to prop themselves up as Great. As Lords, in fact. 

The metaphor for forced assimilation is shown in them literally wiping the child’s memories of their past away from both them And the entire society as a whole. You are one of us. You were Always one of us. You don’t Need who you were before, because you’re here now and that’s so much better! There’s an argument that their legend persists and that they didn’t entirely manage to erase the child from the stories, but even if ‘the other,’ the founder of Gallifrey whom is shrouded in mystery, is referring to the timeless child, they are still denied their own history, their own name. The memory that they’re the founder in the first place. Like really, this kid never gets a name and this is on purpose. The people telling this story don’t Care who this child was, only that they can be of use to them now. 

Thirteen’s absolutely Devastated realisation that she will never know who she would have been had she not been unlucky enough to have Tecteun find her on that planet millennia ago is the most gruelling and painful scene of this era for me. Honestly, it probably takes the crown for most painful moment in the whole show for me. Because while on a personal level this story here between the two characters is a story talking about abuse and kidnapping, when you scale it upwards to what wider commentary they’re making they’re talking about colonization and imperialism and forced assimilation of whole societies that will Never get to know what life would have looked like if this had not been done to them. 

This story is pointing out that we’ll never know what the world could have looked like without the evils of colonization and imperialism. This is the interpersonal devastation of the doctor realising they will Never get to not have this happen to them scaled up to a societal wide discussion about very real realities for countless people around the world. 

The arc stands upon the devastation that the child will never get to know how life could have been because This is how it actually played out. A terrified child crying in a barn. A society that others and hates them for reasons they don’t understand. This story of an orphan in a barn was already a sad tale in the narrative, a life the doctor liberates themselves from because it is too terrible and nobody ever saves them so they have to do it themselves. Pointing out that ‘this is the way this is. this is what happened. it cannot be changed’ and then saying ‘you will never know how it could have been different’ is just digging the knife a little further in what was already there. 

This so easily could not have happened if not for one person, one awful person. But it Did happen. The presence of the familiar story is necessary to fully expose the tragedy of the timeless child.  

They were an orphan, alone in a barn. Nobody likes them. They weren’t good at school or popular. They were kind of a screw up. All that’s changed is the knowledge that this was not a foregone conclusion or unlucky circumstance. It was deliberate and cold apathy. 

[ofswordsandsorcery]

My thoughts on SHADOW & BONE S2

SHADOW AND BONE SEASON 2 SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT

GRISHA VERSE SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT

!!!!SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT!!!!

I wrote this while watching, so it's really chaotic

Also, I haven't read any of the books in a while, so forgive me for not remembering how to correctly write the names and probably forgetting stuff :D

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED CLICK OFF THERE ARE SPOILERS HERE

Episode 1

A privateer actually, it's an important distinction

Take your fuckin shoes off the bed

TAMAR AND TOLYA FUCKING ICONIC

Episode 2

THE BOOK, IT'S LIVES OF SAITS, OH SAINTS IS IT BEAUTIFUL

"you live in a single moment I live in a thousand"

You're old as shit we get it

Nina Zenik is a fucking menace and I am SO living for it

Also, we love a queen that eats <3

Oh oh Nikolai trying to steal Mal's girlfriend i see

Tamar and Alina interaction ahsjsjsjsj

The bonding over being shu han???

Awww, i loveee themm

You are FANCY CARGO

I'M DYING

Wylan and Nikolai working together would be the end of the world as we know it

HE SAID THE LINE

HE SAID IMPROBABLE

I- I CAN'T OMGGG

I thought the girl working for Aleksander was Zoya for a sec and i was SO confused

Aww, Wylan he's beyond thrilled, he just doesn't show it love

FUTURE HUBBYYS

Jes getting his fucking hat before leaving is everything

Episode 3

Soaaring flyyyyinnn

Nikolai is one hell of an inventor

Jes and Wylan on a missionnn *in a singing voice*

Nina giving Kaz contra >>>

Ajsjyjsjsjs Prince Nikolai reveal i am jsksksjsj AN ICON, truly

You lying bastard

Whack

Even more iconic

David and Genyaaaaa

I love David

I'm still so incredibly mad

On an unrelated note: Lewis Tan is one fine man

A casting decision I actually love

Side eye to Nikolai

(sorry paddy, nothing against you, you are doing a wonderful job just really not how I imagined Nikolai to look at ALL)

Nadja meets Tamar

Brb, I'm going to turn in to a useless queer

Also, I love Aldrick

ZOYALINA ZOYALINA ZOYALINA

Fuck allies, you need a wife

I am so living for Wylan begrudgingly agreeing with Jes

Wylans horrified stare at the piano playing omg and the little flinch

"He's really good" lol

Jes is so falling in love with Wylan over his piano playing skills

That LOOK

YOU KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT THAT IS SO CUTE I'M CRYING

Uhhh, kaz inej fight lol

Let me bandage it for you even tho i am deadly afraid of touching skin

Ahhh, communication

Omg the subtle shaking? The fear in his eyes? Well done.

What's your telll?

The cane the limp, know ones ever smart enough to look for the real one????

It's not what you think??

Nina is like yeah, take your bullshitting elsewhere

Ahaaa

I LOVE seeing that friendship develop.

Shit at first dates lmao

Love you Nina

Kaz fighting scene omg

Badass.

Crow club takeover? What?

Y'all I wasn't prepared for this

So much is happening at once, help

Eww he licked the knife? Bah

Go Inej, get his ass..

THE HAIR FLIP

INEJ INEJ INEJ INEJ INEJJJJJ

BABES YOU'RE FUCKING BADASS

Wow the prayer

So much emotionnnn

Ajhsjsjsj

Vladim, what are you doing love

General Kirigan what the actual fuck

That.. Is your mom

The horror on David's face

I feel the same way tho

I HaVe a PrOPosAL

Shut up Nikolai, you're gonna get punched again and you're face is actually to pretty for that...

STOP IT. They're holding hands

I repeat THEY ARE HOLDING HANDS

This is a fucking emotional roller-coaster

I'm not going anywhere - walks away

Thanks Jes, for saying what i thought

Jesper you little fuck

Don't betray Wylan like that?

Wylan talking about how Alby isn't responsible for who his father is

Van Eck im FUCKING LOOKING AT YOU

Oh Mathias my poor boy <3 he seriously needs a hug...

What's your price? Nuh uh

Episode 4

Vasily you idiot

TAMARR <3

Razrusha'ya

Ruined? I AM NOT RUINED I AM RUINATION

Baghra the wise im cackling

I KINDA LIKE YOUR FACE?

Jes you can't just drop that casually and then move one as if fucking nothing happend????

No mourners no funerals and it's almost all of my babies

Nadjas impressed look at Tamar and her axes has me SOBBING

TOLYA WITH HIS BOOOK

LOVE

That was a long time ago

Yeah oops

Make him kneel make him kneel make him kneel omg

That whole scene is so fucking good i had to actually rewatch it multiple times before i could move on

Tolya and Tamar supremacy <3

Not The POETRYYY

Tamar and Tolya meeting the crows??? Holy shit

This has taken so many twists and turns and loopings what

You could... Come with me??

Wylans lil shrug???? I'm actually crying

Kit's acting in the confession scene? SPECTACULAR the glances, the lil eye roll before be gathers the full courage, the little waver in his voice when he does confess??

A WYLAN KISS? WHAT I DID NOT EXPECT THAT AT ALL

HELP

HELP

HELPPPPP

Maybe you need a reminder?? The laughs the giggles I'm going to spontaneously combust

Wtf kaz

I worry about you?

I can't have a weak link in my crew?

You're a bloody idiot, is what you are

Nina should kock some sense into that head of yours after what you just said you moron

I think Rollins knocked it outa ya

And king he shall be

Just not yet oops

Unhinged Genya? hell yes!!!!

Ahhh, Baghra, you sly fucker

Not Adrik

Not him

Please not him

Jesper, Inej and Nina solidarity

Jes loves the gossip so much ahahahah

Episode 5

Genya not wanting David to see her because she's afraid of what he'll think hurts my heart

Genyalina hug supremacy

Baghra said sobatchka

I'm crying. This is not the time but omh

YOU DON'T NEED FIXING

Damn right she doesn't.

Tolya looking at the bowl of food is literally me

NINA AND TOLYA BONDING OVER FOOD

NOT WHAT I THOUGHT I'D GET BUT NOW I NEED MORE, OH LORD

I'm not here for you whoops

Oh Jes, you said the wrong thing baby

Bhez Ju? It looks INCREDIBLE!!!

Tolya being like wtf is going on with you and wylan is gold

I know metal

David i love you

The gentle forehead press

What did you do to him

Tolya giving relationship advice to jesper avout wylan I'm going to cry

Nvm I'm actually already crying

Nina trying to talk to Kaz about tea had me laughing so hard

Tolya snacking all the time, we love it

Zoya honestly

Tolyas comment about soldiers, i love that

Episode 6

MAMA

I'm laughing so hard

Poor Mal

He doesn't deserve any of this

The thief is so beautiful

And she's so badass

SHE'S DOING A GRISHA VERSION OF BLOODBENDING??? THAT IS GENIUS

Lol she's giving it to Jesper

I think she knows he's a special one

Love her so much

Another Wesper kiss??? Also, Tolya's knowing face lmao

Mathias = slab of fur and i will not refer to him as anything else ever again

Episode 7

Why on earth is everyone losing their hands?

This is ridiculous

Let me introduce you to Inej - Badass of the Barrel

Uh oh is right you witch

The crows join, it's over you idiots

Not the cane, that's a sacrilege what you just did.

Sibling reunion I'm sobbing over that hug

Um, Mal u okay hun?

Episode 8

Not kaz giving his cane away what is happening???

My Man

MY MAN

MY MAN

Kaz and Tolya bonding over Poetry? Of all things? love it

Ah ah ah is that an upward lip tug i see Kaz?

Jes... Why did you ruin the moment like that?

There's six of you you morons

Just don't know it yet lovelies

Have i said i don't like Genya's eye thing? It just looks so cheap

He wants an investment lol

Kaz you fuking idiot

You actually have to say it you know

Oof, the I want- I want you

Gives me the same vibes as i love, i love, i love you

How many fucking flying ships do they have?

Nah wtf is this Inej & Tolya shit

What's with the suggestive camera angles, stop that

Actually, i like the sturmhond look on Mal

Inej on the boat taking over slaver ships

So many things i didn't think I'd see this season omg

Ketterdam what kinda fucked up, out of proportion moon do you have???

Ugh not the apparat

Fuck off already, i didn't miss you at ALL

For a man of faith...

Love you for that, sobachka

Finally a better eye patch

Zoya you actually could lol

Are we going to get a triumvirate sitch with Alina?

Omgg yesss

You finally gonna go to Fjerda huh

I AM SO LIVING FOR THE DRESSES

EXCEPT ZOYAS... WHERE'S THE SIGNATURE BLUE SILVER?

Not that it doesn't look good just...

Talk about show stopping, am i right

Well, that's a way to end the show

Additional things I LOVED

- The show name at the beginning of every episode

- The different languages >>>>

- everything Tolya does

-Patrick Gibson as Nikolai, the longer I watched the better it got

What I did NOT like:

- lots of things actually but I have decided for myself that from here I'll just see the show as something different from the books and cherish it for what it is

-David and Genya having literally five seconds before he died? WTF? David was supposed to be here longer :/

-that they put SO MUCH into this season? like so much is happening at once and then they introduce additional stuff??? Felt a little rushed to me... Like were kinda already at the point of King of Scars but at the same time the SOC plotline is so ripped apart? I am confused...

[myvaginacalledmehomo-blog]

In the afterlife:

James: fuck you reggie your perilous pal is messing with my son's boyfriend

Regulus: first of all he's MY NEPHEW and secondly they aren't dating

Lily: then why does your nephew bother and stalk harry like james used to with us?

Regulus: oh please liliana your son has got a loserboi crush on draco he's always staring, see

James: lol he's like when you fell for lily and me?

Regulus: did you just call me a los-

Lily: you just called your lovers' son that!

HBP timeline

Lily: ugh can't imagine my son's the stalker now

James: i can :)

Reggie and Lily: *glaring daggers* yeah we know

Regulus: oh look a mission from the dark lord? he sure is my nephew 0:)

Lily: you little shit your boss is the reason all of us are fucking dead

James: btw you think they'd date now hehe

Lily: harry literally almost killed draco?

James: *getting flashbacks of discovering his knife kink* ummm

DH timeline

Regulus: it's embarrassing how bad draco has for harry merlin look at him not identifying him as if he doesn't know those pretty eyes and hair

Lily: i'm pretty sure he's supporting the good side yk, unlike a certain someone

James: you think my hair are pretty 🥺

Lily: ugh look at that bitch going back to save draco from that deadly fire even i won't

James: bitch? you mean? our son? What do you mean you won't? Won't what lily-

Regulus: why do you think you died first idiot

James: i chose to sacrifice myself!

Lily: *getting flashbacks of pavloving james so he's ready to die to be used as a sacrifice for forbidden taboo blood magic so harry lives* 👀

Regulus: atleast i died for dramatic reasons

Lily: *getting flashbacks of using true evil psychological manipulation on regulus for years to fucking kill himself as soon as he finds voldie's dark magic if he's not on lily's side* (her one oopsie mistake was not considering that only few things were truly dark for regulus since other shit were play toys for children born in the family of Blacks) 🫶🏽

James: Look at him using draco's wand as if that ain't the gayest shit ever and he still has not once asked draco out

Regulus: THEY'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A WAR

Lily: fuck harry's half dead how to tell him to live

James and Regulus: *throwing dumbledore away* oh we know :)

J+R: oi harry

Harry: ...dad? regulus black? Sirius' brother ??

Regulus: don't waste time kid, if you wanna fuck my nephew you gotta live and kill baldie voldie

James: yeah go back don't die a virgin

Harry: uhhh draco.. I MEAN MALFOY haha why would i wanna-it's not like he likes me

James: our son is an idiot lily

Harry: mum's here too? Where-

Lily: *erupting out of nowhere* oi harry listen. draco told narcissa who told bellatrix who told reggie who told sirius who told james who told me that draco malfoy has a tat-

Regulus: it's a dragon tattoo on his chest.

Harry(coming back to life): hi🧍🏾strip for me

Draco who was giving mouth to mouth to harry to revive him: yumm dinner 🐍🩷😋

Lily: did he just listen to you for gay reasons?

Regulus: *getting flashbacks of making james and lily do nasty shit instantly after he seduced them with a lion and sun tattoo* 👀

James: *also getting aforementioned flashbacks of being regulus' whiny slave for a week to see those tattoos* ah memories 🤤

Lily: *also getting aforementioned flashbacks of praise pegging a not so shirtless regulus for a week to see those tattoos* yes memories 😈

Just remembered that Barty canonically turned Draco into a ferret. Name something more iconic.