#ultimate torment and torture

[m39]

Doom WADs’ Roulette Bonus Round: UTNT's Fury of Fire

Welcome back to the world of pretentiousness known as Ultimate Torment and Torture. Today we will be taking a look at the separate episode of this WAD titled…

B15: Fury of Fire

Main author(s): Daniel Gimmer (Tormentor667)

Release date: September 9th, 2007 (original release)

Version(s) played: 1.07

Required port compatibility: GZDoom

Levels: 1

Not enough of the weird Tormentor667 stench that he puts in his WADs? Don’t worry, you can play another episode that is (technically) not connected to the main part of the WAD. And yes, it does have moments of unintentional cringe and laughter, including the cutscene; you know, like the rest of the WAD. Now with stopping alien-looking creatures from leaving hell or something.

Now, like with the previous, bonus review, do me a favor and read the original one on this WAD before reading this review.

Are you done? Good! Let’s take a look at the final piece of UTNT.

Like the rest of UTNT, Fury of Fire looks great. The demonic cave with outposts coupled with the more grassy tops, while looking kind of boring in the first half (without counting the secret areas), still looks at least good in my eyes.

The music is… I don’t actually know. Just when I started hearing Matrix music again, after what I experienced with the fourth episode, I thought NOPE! I CAN’T TAKE THIS SHIT SERIOUSLY! and just turned it all off. Like I said in my original review, the Matrix soundtrack might fit great when it comes to the movies themselves and some laugh-inducing media that doesn’t take itself seriously, but it all falls down when your work takes itself as seriously as possible and sniffs its own farts in return.

I probably skipped some really good bangers in the process, but can you really blame me?

This map isn’t really complicated, it’s just really annoying in some places. Particularly the demonic cave section, where there are many instances of backtracking from one far place to another just to press the switch or grab a key.

There are two optional sections in this map. One references Wolfenstein, and the other references the original E1M1. I’ll get to them more later when I’ll be talking about the difficulty of this map.

Speaking of which... Fury of Fire is at least as tough as the rest of UTNT. It might be the hardest map to play due to the Wolfenstein section, which sucks; it’s full of hitscanner enemies that fire the moment even one, tiny pixel comes out of the cover; sometimes I feel like the enemies could deal a shit ton of damage while surviving so many bullets/pellets that you will run out of them before reaching the teleporter back to the main section of the map.

The other optional section isn’t that bad; it’s just a mirrored E1M1 with much tougher enemies that aren’t as annoying as the previous one (at least almost all of them) and with different textures.

There are some additional enemies that weren’t in the other episodes. There is Snake Imp (a tougher variant), Zombie Marine (even worse than Hoovy; no wind up), Railgunner which shoots orange projectiles rather than red ones, and the final boss which is Duke Nukem’s Alien Queen and her Protector Drones (or how they are called, I can’t remember). Of course, there are Wolfenstein enemies in their dedicated section.

And... that’s basically all I have to say about Fury of Fire. It’s just more UTNT in all of its glory and cringe. It kind of fits as an epilogue, not gonna lie.

And that’s all for the bonus WADs of 2007. In the next week I’ll be finally tackling the 2008 roster of Cacowards, starting with, surprise, surprise, a gameplay mod (I’ll have to come out with an award to it because these things are different from conversions (booger sugar... something; I don’t know at this point)).

Anyway, thank you all for reading my filth, and I’ll see you next time.

Bye!

[sukunasteeth]

Marks

Sukuna doesn't understand the hold you have on him.

He's never particularly been a people person. In fact, people annoyed him. This has held true ever since he was a child with his twin brother, Yuji. That is, until Yuji brought you home one fateful day in middle school, claiming to have met a new friend. 

You, with your sweet little smile, and your boundlessly generous heart. You with your giggle that chimes through his darkened soul like a golden bell. With the innocent rosy lips that he'd dreamed of having his first kiss with until high school, when it finally came to fruition. You had been irrevocably his ever since then, and it had been almost seven years.

So why does it still feel like you're the one with all the power here?

Why does it feel like you could create a monster out of him if you truly wanted to? Why does it feel like he's constantly at your beck and call? Why are you the one person on this green earth that reduces him to the feeling of an emotion as pathetic as helplessness?

"'Kuna...hurts..."

He'll admit, he takes it out on you.

Like now, when you're lying naked beneath him (his favorite spot to have you in) and begging him to take it easy on you. He's got you covered in sweat, exerting you to your ultimate limit. He loved to see you train until failure, after all. Adored the way your legs quivered when he relentlessly made you keep riding him, despite your exhaustion. Cooed at the way you begged him to be gentle, even though he knows you prefer it rough. You were quick to submit when he had you behind closed doors, despite how independent you appeared outside of them. Sukuna knew you better. Knew how much you loved following his direction. Receiving his praise.

You were lucky you were such a good girl.

Sukuna was torturing you now already, and you hadn't even disobeyed him. He can't imagine what he would do if you were unruly. Actually, he can. And the thought has him salivating even more as he sucks relentlessly at the nape of your neck. You're covered in marks from his teeth or the raw scrape of his tongue. Your throat has been tormented by his worship to the extent that he's even broken skin in the spots where he can feel your pulse beneath his lips.

Even Sukuna has to admit that you didn't deserve this abuse. You hadn't done a thing out of line, besides selfishly tearing the heart out of his chest for good. It was yours now.

The thought makes him growl against you.

God, you weren't even trying.

Your victory over him was so effortless.

It pissed him off.

He doesn't realize that he's bitten you particularly hard until you're suddenly recoiling away, burrowing yourself into his pillows with a small yelp. Your hand has sprung up to press your palm over Sukuna's mouth in some weak attempt at getting him to stop. Your other hand holds your throat as you purse your lips at him, which have also seen a good amount of Sukuna's biting that day.

You looked good in his teeth marks, what can he say?

"Are you mad or something?" You're blinking up at him like a confused little deer. Sukuna can't help that it makes him hungry. You were a perfect prey to him and he would be chasing you to the end of this lifetime. He could tell solely in the way that your stupid little nickname for him makes his heartstrings snap.

He takes a frustrated breath through his nose over your hand, nipping at your fingers over his mouth like a muzzled dog. Before you can pull them away, he's grasping your wrist tightly, his unforgiving grip a warning in itself. Easily, he pins it to the side of your head, rendering you halfway useless.

"Don't interrupt." He murmurs, his gaze burning into yours.

A helpless sob escapes you, but otherwise you stop trying to squirm away from him. You allow the onslaught to continue without a peep, bracing yourself each and every time a new hickey is being bruised into your skin. He doesn't offer you any words in terms of praise, but his grip on your wrist eventually loosens a bit. He never fully lets you go, though.

While he appreciates your cooperation, you eventually go almost too quiet and Sukuna thinks for a moment that maybe he's pushed you too far. He pulls away from your neck to look at you, finding your pink little face screwed up in an intense mixture of pleasure and agony. He feels a content smile spread across his face but it's cut short when his eyes hone in on your lips, which you're currently biting hard enough to draw blood from.

His free hand reaches up and grasps your chin, pressing his thumb below your bottom lip and forcing you to relinquish it. You blink slowly, your logical brain having exhausted itself up until this point. You easily let him pry your teeth apart, panting in his grasp. 

"Mouth. Open." He commands.

You squirm in your overwhelming frustration, whining. "It hurts, 'Kuna!"

Sukuna hums in a mock sympathy, watching you suffer with a satisfied grin. You would have these marks for weeks. There were so many now, some more intense than others, and he wasn't even close to being done with you.

"You're being cruel." You accuse, watching your own hardship twinkle back at you in the reflection of his eyes. Your pout is purple and bruised from your attempts to keep quiet. Sukuna leans in closer and presses the sweetest kiss to your lips, as soft as the brush of a feather.

What was cruel was the fact that you had broken down everything Sukuna had ever known about himself. His strength was putty at your feet. His hatred for the world was a joke in your presence. His pride, a mere memory at the touch of your fingertips against his soul.

"You think this is cruel?" He whispers, mocking you. His voice is the taunt of a devilish trickster. "I think I've been going too easy on you. Allow me to rectify that."

There really is no curse more cruel than love.

[ryuto12-gaming]

Love this game cause like, you can chose to limit Verso’s suffering, or you can cause like five more life-shattering events if you want to.

You have to kill both his parents, but he’s made peace with that. You have to end a world full of sentient people, but he’s at peace. Fighting Maelle sucks, but he’ll do it. The betrayal on Lune’s face is terrible, Sciel’s acceptance worse. But he’s prepped for that.

What he hasn’t prepped for: Watching his little sister die by the hand of a girl who looks just like her, his older sister offing herself in front of him, killing his brother in law and oldest friend, listening to the journal entry where his girlfriend prepared to kidnap and torture him, three seconds later you can listen to his old lament over killing her because he didn’t want them unpainted —something he no longer wants so he killed the woman he loved for ultimately nothing— and then right there at the end when he has his chance at freedom you can restrict him to another lifetime of torment he didn’t want while Alicia slowly ends her life.

You can either go minimal with adding to Verso’s torment or just completely fuck this man’s life up more than it already is and while terrible is a little funny to me

[moremaybank]

you and jj really shouldn't be, but you fuck raw every single time. you know that eventually your luck will run out. but for over a year, you've been safe. that was, until about a week ago. though you're on birth control, you both had a scare and you decided from then on, no matter how down it made you, you couldn't be so reckless. neither of you were truly ready to have a baby, despite jj's protests, and you knew that until you were capable, you had to stop. that doesn't mean the transition for jj was anything near easy. his disdain for using condoms and being okay with it weren't even in the same area code. "please, baby? just the tip? i'm dyin' here, it's not fair." you try to kiss the pout off his lips, but ultimately fail when you pull away and see the traces still lingering on his face. "j, as much as i love feeling you bare—" and his hand comes up, stopping your words in their tracks. "see, you can't say shit like that. it's torture," he tells you, giving you a tormented look. "j, we can't keep taking risks. we aren't ready for a baby." his bottom lip juts out even further than before. "but—" you kiss him to shut him up. "i'm sorry, handsome." he pulls you into his chest, strong arms wrapping around your fame and squeezing. he can't help the groan that escapes his lips, though. "just one more time. i promise i'll pull out." you try to deny him, but then he pulls away slightly to trail soft kisses down your neck. he'd never push you, you both knew that. if this was really what you wanted, then that would be the end of that. but when he spoke again, saying let me feel you one more time. it's not my fault your pussy's so addicting. you're folding for what's supposed to but probably won't be the last time. no one does sweet talking like jj maybank. and you love him even more for it.

i had a dream ab this last night so enjoy

[pome-seed]

The Soldier's Keeper ★ 9

Pairing: Winter Soldier!Bucky x Doctor!Reader

Word Count: 1.1k

Summary: As you try to figure out a plan and try to understand the machine used to control the Winter Soldier, you're hit with the fear of disappearing. Longing to be known, you share a kind moment with the Soldier.

Warnings: Captivity, angst, mention of torture and death, longing, helplessness, mention of Siberia, and more angst. Sad Bucky.

Authors Note: Please enjoy, comment and be kind! I love the comments and interaction. ALSO, if you want to be apart of the taglist, let me know :)

Song Rec: Sailor Song by Gigi Perez

Series Masterlist Next Chapter

The cold glint of steel. 

A faded red star. 

Painfully blue eyes. 

Calloused fingers that twitched when you pulled too far away. 

Cold skin marred with scars. 

A gentle frown, pressed together softly by blushed lips.

You wanted to burn every small detail of the Soldier into your brain. You wanted to remember it, remember him. You feared you didn’t have long. You tried to draw out your research as you worked on the indefinite cure to his degeneration, but your captors grew impatient. 

You didn’t want to go.

You didn’t want to disappear. 

“My favorite color is red.” You blurted, your gaze following the line of wires across the back of the Soldier’s chair. 

He shifted, turning his head slightly to signal he was listening. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you whispered, biting on the soft inside of your cheek. “I like red.”

What you were doing was dangerous. You knew that. But you couldn’t stop. 

“I like a lot of things.” You huffed, trying not to shake under the sudden burst of anxiety you felt. You moved behind the Soldier, eyeing the power box behind his chair.

In the days when you were sent to clean up the Soldier- cleaning his suit, his wounds, basic care- you tried your best to investigate the machine he sat on. 

From what you’d seen, it was some sort of electroshock therapy on steroids. The technology was foreign to you, but its intention was clear. It was built to restrain and torment. It was designed to suppress memories and induce a state of pliancy. 

It was the perfect tool for mental conditioning. 

There were several monitors that you had become familiar with, each reflecting the Soldier’s vitals and scans. Beneath the monitors were several switches and dials, meant to control the flow of electricity. 

“I like a lot of things,” you repeated. Between the fear you felt for your charge and the doom you felt hanging over your future, you felt the need to be known. “I hate a lot of things too. I can be really opinionated.” Your voice trailed on, fighting against the shake in your body. 

The Soldier watched you inspect the mechanics and tangle of wires, listening silently as you trailed on anxiously. He knew as well as you did that there was little hope in what you were doing. You knew this. You knew there was no point in him believing that you could help him. Why would he? He’d spent decades helpless under their torture. 

You tried to feel confident in yourself, but ultimately your only hope of making a difference was breaking the high tech machine. The only solid plan you had was giving the soldier a window to escape. A window to regain some sense of understanding of his own mind. 

But even then, they still had those trigger words. The ones used so easily that day when your throat had been the victim of the Winter Soldier. 

“I used to journal a lot, back home. I always had so much to say and- and nowhere to put it all.” Usually, spilling details about your life to a man after a long bout of silence would be embarrassing, but not with him. Not here. Not now. 

Not when he knew why you were doing it. 

“I like music- I really like music. My friends and I were hoping to go to a music festival in the summer, before all of this.” You went on, holding yourself up on the mechanical device in front of you. “I had good friends.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm,” you nodded. 

The Soldier looked over his shoulder at you, dark hair framing his tormented expression. He didn’t stop you. He didn’t want you to. He wanted to listen. He wanted to hear about what a life could be like outside of all this pain and death. He wanted to know who you were before this. 

“What else?” He offered, the low timber of his voice soft and gentle.

You blinked back ill timed tears. “There’s- There’s so much.” You whispered. “I had so much life- before.” 

“I know,” his throat bobbed, his lips tugged into a frown. 

And he did. He knew someone like you must have lived a good life. A life of laughter and tears, of good and bad in all the right ways. He knew you must have been happy. 

A part of him wished he could reach into himself and find that. He knew he must have been something once. He must have laughed. He must have been happy.

He must have been someone once. 

But it was too far, too dark and too easy to slip through his fingers. He could try and try, but he couldn’t touch the warmth he must have once felt, years ago.

“I always wanted to travel. I never did though, stupid, right?” You huffed, sinking into your chair at your desk. “Did you? Do you know?”

His gaze shifted to the space between you, his head slowly nodding. “Yeah.”

“Where have you been?”

“Siberia, Russia.”

“Yeah?” You tilted your head at him. “I bet it's nice there. Watching the sun peak over the snow caps. I bet the air tastes sharp there.” You whispered wistfully.

He didn’t agree. His shoulders sank as he stared at you pick at your nails. “I didn’t see much of the sun.” He whispered, a cold shiver trailing down his back. 

“Oh.”

You couldn’t help the bitter, dry sob that clawed its way up your throat. Of course he didn’t see it. They would never let him experience something so innocent. 

Your eyes met, and for a moment you both were silent. 

The two of you shared a fragile second of understanding. All you wanted was to be known. To be remembered. You didn’t want to disappear. You didn’t want to fade into the unknown, with nothing left of you.

And he, who was already gone, already lost to the world, wanted to be known. He wanted to be something. Someone. He wanted to have something for himself, something to hold and cradle and call his own. He wanted to be alive. 

But you both knew it was fruitless. 

It was impossible. 

So together you sat, sharing a second of understanding.

A/N: I'm sorry for sooo much angst :D But I hope you enjoy. This is the tipping point. Let me know if you wanna be apart of the tag list!

@rafesgurl @pleasecallmeunhinged @jason-todd-fangirl-14 @frog-fans-unite @lonelyghosts-stuff @cherryandsugar @a-world-with-pure-imagination @unicornqueen05

[mihii-i]

hi, Could you make a story about Mizu x fem, the reader works in a brothel and Mixu ends up meeting her there and falling in love. Sorry my english is bad

cruelty of pleasure.

Pairings: mizu x fem!reader

CW: sfw, female reader, afab reader, mentions of sex work/prostitution, prostitute reader, implied sexual assault (not by edo japan’s standards but still), reader thinks mizu is a male, episode 4 spoilers, reader isn’t ugly per-se but a low ranked prostitute bro idk, obviously has themes discussing sex so not entirely sfw, bye this turned out so bad I can’t even look at this, short fic, rushed I apologize feel free to request again if you don’t like it, not proofread.

A/N: yessss I adore my beautiful half white half japanese samurai someone get the spray bottle and scream nurse she’s out again because i legitimately have a crush on this woman irl it’s not funny anymore ALSO EW WHY DOES MY TEA TASTE LIKE 99% HONEY WITH BOOTYHOLE also remember, this fic is RUSHED DONT EXPEXT IT TO BE GOOD.🕯️

Quivering breaths drawled from the cherry red smudges of your lips in shallow exhales, thighs twitching as you scrambled away from the warrior spread out nude on his back before you. You promptly retracted your leg into the baring, thin fabric of your ikat patterned kimono loosely draped over your body being the only article of clothing that covered you.

Being amongst the lower ranks, and ultimately deemed as less desirable in a venereal world of pleasure claiming your life, you had always found yourself caged in the grueling depravity of men who couldn’t be fulfilled by simply bedding a woman. Even the most extreme of desires that sparked within Madam Kaji’s teahouse as a stream of peculiarities after the other fell short of meeting the expectations of a few who couldn’t reach their release at sight of torture itself.

You’ve seen it all, the horrific ends to which their cruelty reached to simply relish in the metallic taste of blood spilling onto their tongue, as if it was a cup of tea rather than the agony of a drained woman. Despite the surges of pain searing through your body, the sting seeping along your sore muscles as you struggled to keep up the position you were flexed into on multiple occasions, the god awful smile and facade of enjoying a man’s advances for the sake of his fantasy remained stretched along your cheekbones through fat tears brimming your eyes occasionally.

Kaji kept you in her care as she had promised, safe from everything besides the torment of the men forced onto you among the semi-comfortable accommodations of where you rested alone, clouds of your thoughts snug beside you as company. You couldn’t exactly trace back to when exactly you had been sold off to the teahouse years ago, stumbling upon being shoved inside and quickly bought in the blink of an eye.

Kaji eyed your reserved, young self shrinking away from the intimidating paper doors lined up and boxed around every corner you glanced upon, sliding open like the puzzle of a labyrinth that would tear you open on sight. In a way, Kaji had took remorse on you, although she wouldn’t dare to act on it. The older woman observed you from afar when she caught sight of the subtle jerks in your body language within the dimly lit room, hands shivering as you attempted to steady your grip on the teapot filled with sake, spilling into the slight bowl curve of the cup steadily.

Pity fogged her vision as her eyes frequented to glance through the cut peephole dragging open, eyelids lowering upon seeing the dripping wax of the candle puddled at its base to illuminate the sick sight of heaping fear fighting its way back down your throat. Your pathetic whimpers and nails clawing at anything you could find below you to ground yourself only wrenched her heart at the disgusting view of you thrashing about against the tatami mats.

Clearly in pain from the stretch, yet unable to run nor cry. Only take in the sickening scent of sake and sweat stinging your nostrils in the unbearable heat blistering against you, neck tilted in the illusion to grant him access, yet only eyeing the paper doors through tears crowning your lashes as your vision blurred together gleams of gold bouncing off white.

Swallowing back the heaps of drool piled in your mouth, gliding down your throat painfully as you rose to your feet, bare legs trembling with your thighs clamped together. Your fingertips treaded along the thin layer of the sliding door, gently pushing along the sheets delicate under your hand as your nails grazed along the rimmed wood.

Limping out of the room, your head tilted back to the sight of the man passed out, bare as he jerked in your sleep in the confines of the furnished room barely lit by the stubby candle flickering along the threaded straws. You meekly slid the door back shut, each step of yours planted along the floorboards drawn out in slow motion through your head spinning in a sharp jab for every waking moment you stood.

The ache pumping across your body burned at your calves, nearly unable to walk any further across the small prickles poking at your heels continued to rip away your ability to walk properly, knees buckling inward as your palm gripped at a nearby pillar to stabilize yourself as your dry mouth hung agape.

"(Name)..? What on earth are you doing on the floor like that?"

Your hazy eyes raked over the tall woman towering before you, intimidating shadow looming before you like a ruthless monster. Madam Kaji's brows furrowed at your heavy breaths expanding against your constricted chest with a death grip digging into the splintering wood of the pillar, glancing up to meet her eyes digging into you with the sting of her judgement written all over her face.

“I..”

“Get yourself to the dressing area. You look a mess.” She instructed, eyes fixed on your trembling thighs struggling their way back up, tensing up the fatigued muscle in your futile efforts to cease the shaking and remain upright. Curling your toes into any stability of the floor chafing against the bare soles of your feet was the only grounding that held you back from cracking off the edge, similarly to how your sanity wore thin in the confines of a pleasure house.

Your skull throbbed along its fleshy confines as you stumbled into the unruly heat fogged thick along the dressing room, eyes of the other women dead set on you the moment their head whipped around. Every pair of eyes lining each little outline of your body like a hawk wasn’t difficult to detect, nor were you unaccustomed to the lingering stares that stabbed you with their gaze.

Yet despite the common nature of such an occurrence being routine to you, the overly shrewd inspection continued to burn deep against the base of your neck, as if everyone around you passed a judgement of resolute hatred directly unto your soul itself. Of course, you knew the selfish strings of plaguing thought were false, everyone here had been sold in on varying conditions, concerns aimed solely toward themselves in their own realm of level anxiety matching yours in the cruelty of pleasure.

Fingers walking along your shoulder, the cusp of your hand snaked under the loose fabric draped over your collarbone, tugging down at the withering fades of your cheap kimono. As the fabric brushed further and further down, more bruises of purplish red sprouted in a trail down your body as if it was the spread of hellfire itself, crawling down in red claws to latch onto you whole in the grim reminder of your agonizing lifelong doom.

Chatters of the other prostitutes flushed out as worthless bursts of noise against your ears, aimlessly raking your gaze over your knees brushed against the floor with the gloss clouding your eyes becoming unnoticeable at this point. Their laughs and banter was merely an act wasn’t it? So how come the poor girls got to speak amongst one another in joy without sobbing nightly at the reality of their life being nothing but wringing them dry until they had not even an ounce of strength to stand?

“I’m not taking that blue eyed freak, why do I always get the ugly ones?”

“So far he turned down everyone.”

“Let him turn down me.”

Dragging yourself out into their periphery, you groggily blinked upon taking in the exasperated comments of the others fixing themselves intently in the mirrors specked with flicks of stray dust. Some sort of foreigner in the brothel? That couldn’t be possible, there were no white men in Japan. Not by a long shot. Perhaps he was mixed, although that taboo would be too disgusting to even imply in the stir of hatred that fostered amongst the tensions of an already hostile society.

“(Name), go check on him, I will be there alongside the gentleman shortly.” Kaji immediately ordered, her voice cutting through your train of thought. You couldn’t even speak up to object, voice far too strained and energy drained dry to think about rebutting any statement drawled out of her lips.

With a brief nod, you staggered to your feet, smoothing out the fabric drawn over your body as you attempted to mask the limp prevalent in your pummeled steps.

By the time you had laid your eyes upon the stranger, he seemed..strange. As if his lack of interest in anything around the brothel was oddly comforting to you, considering how used to you were with men getting their hands all over you quickly in violent fashions the moment they stepped into a whorehouse like this.

Your footsteps remained cautious before you knelt before the stranger, the orange tint of his glasses obscuring the view of you in the rest of annoyance he seemed to flaunt around to add to that brooding demeanor.

Those eyes.

You saw them. Blue, just like everyone had said, yet no monstrosity or vile malice presided within those waves, only hate.

“I said I don’t want any company.”

That..was far more comforting than the usual lunge or assault of ripping off your clothing on sight. Well, there truly was someone who didn’t wish to abuse your body for their satisfaction. Someone before you who beheld the eyes of a demon, yet the intent of his in such a place truly emphasizesf he was not human.

As, a human wouldn’t have enough good in his heart to reject any desire of his, not everyone was truly trying to tear you apart on sight.

Perhaps, you liked this devil. Grown fond of him already in fact.

A/N: I’m very sorry to the requester but I got too frustrated with this and stopped it at a cliffhanger I’d like to apologize a thousand times over for the poor quality, as well as my abrupt ending of said fic. I’m going to chill a little bit on the fanfiction since my mental health has been declining quite a bit and I have finals as well as a mock exam in the morning so I must sleep early right now—contemplated deleting this cause I didn’t like how it turned out, but I did NOT want to disappoint with nothing so I came out with this shitshow. Once again, I am truly sorry. And I promise my next fic will have some sort of quality within it.

Yours truly, mihi.

this except she’s not straight not in my fucking eyes

god I hate everything that breathes in my direction rn (minus my mother love her)

[raisinchallah]

xena warrior princess was the closest we ever got to a mass attempt to make straight men into femslash fujoshis that is making straight men appreciate and engage with f/f relationships in the way that women play with their tortured tormented gay barbie dolls in great works of literature it all starts with the placement of women in battle against and beside other women and this being a place of bonding camaraderie and love and by placing this in ancient greece it begins to attempt its bold rewriting of history and working as a grand femslash manifesto by yurifying one of the great root yaois of the western canon but also this ultimately understands that in the same way many of the most high octane and insane homoerotic relationships between men often appeal most to women that xena is positioned with a foot in the hot babes breasting boobily genre of previous attempts at lesbicious homoeroticism between women aimed at men of things like barbarella and lesbian vampire films while also understanding that women watch these films but also that this is the girl power 90s and that lesbians will be tuned in and so also engages in a tongue in cheek fashion with the feminist rewriting of mythology and constructs a world a beautiful mirror of yaoi world the world of men where all the most important relationships are between women and men are evil exes or mediocre husbands or enemies to vanquish or silly jesters kept around to laugh at much in the way women can be set dressing or romantic rivals for the main relationship in great works of homoerotic literature about men sadly this did not seem to work as a manifesto to inspire grand change within the genre as the only straight men converted to this cause were the straight men writing for xena and the straight women believed it was unfeminist to make women lesbians and that by seeing xena as a great work of homoerotic television it was undermining its feminist message and television decided that only the worlds most boring lesbians and bisexual women would be allowed to write for tv thus unable to truly construct a grand second generation of xena inspired works with even more homoeroticism rather than less thus leaving it somewhat of an evolutionary dead end in that regard tragically

[mask131]

I want to briefly adress another BIG misconception about Greek gods that has (quite recently) been going on around the Internet. And it is again part due to the Percy Jackson TV show. I insist on the "TV show", because as we now know, the TV show made some changes to the book's original plotline when it came to the gods interacting with their children (like Athena's move with Echidna *cough cough*), and as a result here is what I have been hearing here and there.

"Yeah, well the Greek gods were all assholes, right, but what PJ REALLY got right was that they were especially assholes to their own children and the worst abusive parents ever".

... No?

In fact this is almost a counter-interpretation of Greek mythology, because in Greek myths and legends, the whole point was that, when a god was being an "asshole" as you say, they were an asshole to everybody... except their children. One of the reasons the Greek gods can look "bad" by modern standards is precisely because they had an habit of favorizing their own children, and taking care about them more than about other beings.

The most famous of these myths is of course Demeter's immense love and hyper-protection of Persephone - just look at the trials she went through to find her back after she disappeared.

Another famous example is how Poseidon turned on Odysseus and plagued him with curses and monsters for blinding his son - Polyphemus the cyclop (and the whole point here is that Poseidon favorized his son, despite his son being the actual criminal and monster in the case)

Ares, who was not one of the best gods, still went on an avenging mode every time his children were attacked, from the dragon slain by Cadmos to the rape of Alcippe.

There's how Apollo went berserk after the death of Asclepios. There's how Herakles had planned to be favorized by Fate since his birth thanks to Zeus, and how the entire reason Zeus inflicted on his wife the atrocious torture of hanging chained up by the sky was because he had enough of her constantly tormenting Herakles in the worst ways possible. Even Athena ended up taking care of Erichthonius as her own child despite her not being his true mother - showing that even the virgin, sexless, childless goddess has a mothering side to her.

It all goes back to Gaia, and how she keeps turning against Zeus for each time vanquishing her children - from the Titans, to the Giants, to Typhon - despite these children being again, bad news and even hurting Gaia herself. Another example of "primordial motherhood": Nyx shelters Hypnos from Zeus' wrath in the Iliad, and not even Zeus would dare anger such an elderly mother-goddess. And if we push beyond the boundaries of Greek mythology and into the very late Roman literature, we see this trend continues with Aphrodite's smothering-mothering of Eros during the Psyche legend.

A good lot of conflicts and feuds and problems in Greek mythology was precisely due to how much the gods loved their children, and how protective they were of them - with the problem that the god had the tendency to be blind to whether their children were good or evil, victims or criminals.

This is why, for example, Zeus and Hera's relationships to their children were especially important and unique in Greek myths, in the light of this god's tendency to favorize and spoil and protect their own children.

On Hera's case, her action of, for example, throwing Hephaistos into the sea at birth just because he is "ugly" is meant to come off as massively shocking. Remember that in a good bunch of Greek myths, Hera had a negative, evil, dangerous side to her, that popped up in various ways - from her jealous, vain, angry personality to how in some versions she literaly gave birth to Typhon... Unlike Zeus, who was the "ultimate father", Hera wasn't (in myths, I insist) seen as a postive mother, and was more of a mother-of-monsters avatar (after all, she did command a lot of Greek monsters), or an anti-mother (she was the one who prevented Leto from giving birth, a powerful symbol).

On the other side, Zeus was also seen regularly punishing or being very harsh to his children, but there was the secret to his character: Zeus had to act both as a father, and as a king. He embodied the all loving ancestor and the all powerful father, but he also had to act as the embodiment of law and of justice, and those two aspects of his personality clashed a lot. We see him punish his divine children regularly, but almost always because his role as the enforcer of the law primed over his role as a father - for example when he wanted to throw Apollo into Tartarus because he had caused a Cyclop genocide out of anger. But he still had this same "over-parenting" side as the other gods. Again, Herakles was one of his favorite children and he tried to arrange everything so that he could have the greatest life ever - but his official side as the "political" and "civilization" god caught up to him when Hera tricked him into swearing away the gifts he had intended for Herakles. Despite Zeus' immense love for his son, his oath and the law he embodies took over and prevented him from sheltering Herakles from Hera's hatred. The most revealing case of this "father vs king" aspect of Zeus' personality comes from the Iliad: it is the death of Saperdon.

When Zeus looks upon the Trojan War and sees that his son will soon die, he is very heavily tempted from interfering. He explicitely wishes to save him, and to change the scales of fate to avoid his impending death (because remember in the Iliad Zeus was still the god of fate who literaly weighed humans' destinities in his scale). That's his "father" side showing up. But then Hera, who is by his side, who is his queen and thus his "political" side, reminds him of his duty as a king and of his role as ultimate judge of the world and ruler of the gods. She points out he would break the very own law he imposed of not interfering with the mortal conflict. She reminds him that, as the setter of examples, if he saved Sarpedon, he would create a precedent and other gods could also start saving their own children from the war. She reminds him that he has a role as the god of law and fate, and that he can't allow his personal feelings to interfere in the matter, else he would be unfair and unjust. And thus, Zeus resignates himself to let his son die before his eyes - but he still shows his immense love for him by both sending a shower of blood as a sign of his grief, and then ordering Apollo, Hypnos and Thanatos in person to carry Sarpedon's corpse away (predating future legends about great kings and heroes taken into the afterlife by supernatural figures, like Arthur collected by Morgan and the ladies of Avalon).

In conclusion: having the gods act as if they were all bad, abusive, absent parents not getting involved in their children's life or not caring about them is actually going against what the mythology originally said in terms of characterization. The untold rule of Greek mythology was that, if gods were bad parents, it would be because they were too loving, too protective, too smothering, too spoiling, interfering too much. Not the other way around - unless you were Hera, of course. Meanwhile, having the gods act as "assholes" and bullies towards OTHER GODS' children, now that would be accurate to Greek mythology (this is the very basis of Hera's cycle of legends as a persecuting goddess). But the gods usually stuck by the side of their own children - a bit like how in a school's football or soccer game the parents end up fighting each other because of what their children did or did not do in the game.

[chaoticace2005]

"I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream": TADC Inspiration Analysis

I was reviewing The Amazing Digital Circus' IMDB page, as well as it's wikipedia page, and in doing so noticed the piece of trivia that the main inspiration for the show was the short story "I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream" by Harlan Ellison, and in my curiosity I looked it up.

I have a link for the document here for anyone interested in reading, but be aware that there is mature content including mentions of NSFW, body horror, gore, and slut-shaming. But I break it down and go over parallels and implications below.

To summarize, this short story published in 1967 (which would later have a video game modeled after it) follows five humans who are trapped in a complex by a sentient AI called AM, who was created to coordinate efforts in World War III, and later become sentient (due to input by those five humans in various ways.) AM responded by exterminating humanity, leaving only those five humans behind who it/he would continue to torture for 109 years, not allowing them the freedom of death.

Off the bat you can already see some of the common themes, with humans being trapped in a world run by an AI where they are unable die. Now, we don't know what's happening outside of the game in TADC, where it is possible everyone else is simply moving on with their lives (especially since the members of TADC seemed to have joined at different times, and there is no mention of any apocalyptic happening (unless memories have been altered, which I'm not ruling out since despite Caine's assertions he can't control their minds, that doesn't appear to always be the case.)) But still, the set up for the protagonists is the same in a lot of ways, regardless of the events of the outside world.

The five humans are regularly tormented by AM (which originally stood for "Allied Mastercomputer", but then the humans later changed it to stand for "Adaptive Manipulator" and then "Aggressive Menace" (while the AI itself calls itself that because of "I think therefore I am," which is something regularly repeated to break up segments in the story (and now I'm thinking of this fan made TADC song.) The story starts with the cast seeing the blood drained, hanging corpse of a missing member (Gorrister) who then joins the group, proving the image to be a trick by AM to torment them. Later on, another member of the cast, Nimdok, says that he hallucinated seeing canned goods in an icy cave, which both the narrator (Ted) and Gorrister are dubious of given AM's propensity for tricks. Still, this is something incredibly value because one of AM's many ways to torment the cast is by starving them. The five ultimately end up going on a long, arduous quest to try and find the food, with the AI regularly throwing challenges their way like extreme winds, earthquakes, and giant birds.

Going back to TADC, in both these pieces of media we see characters chasing after a goal that is believed by others to be unattainable. Pomni (and some of the others) with the exit, and this cast with their food.

Furthermore, we see the consequence in the story of someone trying to escape, with the character Benny, who is already on the edge of sanity as is, talk about escaping, leading AM to punish him by binding him. (Consider: in this story, a character is forced into darkness, while in TADC, darkness is the only thing that appears to calm the Abstracted.)

The story ends with them being tormented by getting close to their goals, but ultimately unable to attain them (they have access to weapons to hunt a giant bird, but they aren't functional. They find the cans but there aren't ways to open them.) And in response to this, Benny ends up attacking and eating Gorrister, which causes Ted to conclude that the only true escape is death, and while AM won't let them starve or kill themselves, they are able to kill each other if the AI isn't given time to stop them. This leads to Ted killing Benny, while Ellen kills Nimdok, understanding Ted's intentions, and then letting Ted kill her. This leaves Ted alone, with AM taking its revenge by turning him into a blob that is doomed to just exist, tormented by his memories and unable to scream due to his lack of a mouth.

Now, while TADC is a psychological horror in a lot of its own ways, I am unsure that it will take quite a dark turn in its ending. But I still wanted to draw out some of the parallels that appear to exist between them, as well as how this could inform the ending.

One thing is that the cast in IHNMAIMS is five people, while in TADC it is currently believed to be six (assuming none of the NPC theories are true.) Now, this may not have any ramifications and simply be a difference in numbers, or it could point to the fact that later in the show, the cast gets cut down by a member, due to either abstraction or the reveal of an NPC amongst them (although Gooseworx has disproven the "Jax is an NPC" theory.) But ultimately this could mean is TADC, only five characters end up going on a journey to find the exit, paralleling the five characters in IHNMAIMS.

Caine vs AM. Gooseworx has said that "Digital Circus is very inspired by I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream. But instead of AM being a living embodiment of hate, he's a fun-loving wacky little guy."

In both pieces of media, we have an AI that is ultimately tormenting the humans that are being held captive within its domain, but as Gooseworx said, the main difference is the intent. In IHNMAIMS, it is revealed that AM chose to keep these five humans captive and torment them because they were the ones responsible for its sentience, and in reality it is captive like they are as it is unable to die. Caine may not be doing what he is doing intentionally, but the point stands that he is held captive by his programming and responsibilities. We see his increased panic over the episodes as he realizes he may not be doing his job/purpose well, and it breaks him. We don't know if he is the one who is responsible for holding them captive, or if he's a tool made by the person truly responsible, but as of now he appears unaware of what truly is causing the humans around him distress. In the Pilot we see him play with the idea of an Exit Door without comprehending what it is the others really want. We see in episode 3 that he can't seem to compute the criticism or feedback Zooble gives him, because it's not something in his vocabulary. AM and Caine are both captors and held captive is possibly different ways, and as a result torment those they are stuck with. In IHNMAIMS, AM's fate is to basically be doomed to existence forever, the only freedom it has being to torment Ted. And it's possible Caine's fate may be similar, or they may instead subvert this by giving Caine freedom. Not by escaping the Circus, but by being able to go beyond his directive/coding, understanding the humans more and possibly even helping them at the end, since empathy appears to be a large theme in the show, and we already see with Gummigoo how non-humans grow outside of their original purpose. Another parallel between AM and Caine I wanted to point out is that of biblical imagery. In IHNMAIMS, AM is equivocated to God in a lot of ways, both in Ted's internal dialogue, and in later imagery with AM appearing in forms similar to how God appeared in religious scriptures, including a burning bush. With Caine, we have his name and the possible "Caine and Abel" reference with "C&A", as well as Loolilalu literally calling him "God" with a stained glass window in episode 2. (Plus all that angel and Hell stuff in episode 3.)

Cannibalism. Possibly no deeper meaning behind it but wanted to throw out that Benny attacks and eats Gorrister, and in episode 5 Jax attacks and tries to eat both Gangle and "Evil Jax" (albeit this is played more as a joke, and since it has previously been shown characters can't die or eat (?) the impact is a lot less than in IHNMAIMS.)

Stabbing with spikes. In IHNMAIMS, Ted and Ellen kill Benny and Nimdok (and then Ted kills Ellen) with ice spears, with Benny being stabbed by Ted just under the ribs. In episode 2, Ragatha gets stabbed with a pointy rock that penetrates the car they're driving. (Again, she is completely fine from this so the impact is clearly different, and it's more of a throw-away gag, but I wonder if this was intentional.)

The human casts:

Breaking the cast of IHNMAIMS down one by one, we have: Ted, the narrator who is cynical and often the voice of reason. The has harsh opinions about the others in the group and is convinced that they hate him. He is also the youngest of them all and does not believe he has been changed much mentally by AM compared to others. He ultimately kills the others to free them and is doomed to an existence as a blob. Ellen, repeatedly dunked on by Ted's internal dialogue, she is the only female of the cast and is viewed as a "fake slut," showing empathy and concern for the others, especially Benny, which Ted writes off as her only doing because the two sleep together. Ted is constantly skeptical of her and believes her to be often lying, with his view of her clearly skewed due to misogyny and cynicism. She is killed by Ted after she kills Nimdok. Benny, previously a brilliant theorist and college professor, Benny appears to have gone through the most amount of changes by AM, body transformed to be ape-like, and has grown insane over time. He tries to escape and is blinded as punishment, and cracks at the end of the story, cannibalizing Gorrister. Gorrister, previously a conscientious objector and peace activist, AM twisted his mind to be apathetic, lacking passion. He is the one who appears to always explain the story of the war to Benny, who regularly forgets and is calmed by the familiar story. He is cannibalized by Benny and Ted puts him out of his misery. Nimdok, given that name by AM, who likes senseless words, is the one who convinces the others to go on the quest in search of food, even though he himself is aware it could be a trick. He frequently retreats, coming back pale and traumatized. He is killed by Ellen. Going through these characters, there definitely appear to be some parallels, the most obvious in that of Ted, Ellen, and Benny. While TADC more follows Pomni, the narrator Ted definitely seems to have a perspective that more fits Jax, especially with the cynical perspective, distrust of others, and specific hatred towards Ellen, who appears to be a parallel to Ragatha. Both Ted and Jax view these respective characters as fake in their displayed compassion, although Ted does care enough to kill her in the end, hoping her look was that of gratitude. Jax and Ted are also both the youngest of their respective casts (with Gooseworx saying in a Tumblr post that Jax is 22, with the next youngest character being Zooble, who is 22 1/2.) Then with Benny, we have Kinger, both previously academics (Kinger studied computer science for 7 years), and having been driven mad by the setting they've been forced into, with a bad memory at times. Gorrister appears apathetic, similar to Zooble often is, with both also comforting those around them at times (Gorrister telling Benny the familiar story to calm him, Zooble being compassionate towards Gangle.) Pomni and Nimdok are both given nonsense names (XDDCC), pushing for quests that others view as futile, and regularly traumatized. Nimdok and Zooble also both share the similarity that they tend to separate themselves from the group a lot of the time. Gangle is one I have more difficulty finding a parallel for. Her emotions seem dictated by her masks, which makes me think about how AM altered the emotional state of Gorrister (ultimately making him care less (which reminds me of Gangle in episode 4 where she starts falling apart.) Like Gorrister, she is the one attacked and eaten by a fellow cast member (although there does not appear to be any lasting effects on Gangle's end.) Zooble, Pomni, and Gangle are ultimately harder to find direct correlates for, but in the cast of Jax, Ragatha, and Kinger, there are definitely a lot of arguments that can be made to tie them to characters from the 1967 story.

The blobs. The story ends with Ted as a blob that is aware but unable to speak or act, trapped to exist in purgatory. This could be indicative of the nature of those who abstracted and point to the fact that they are aware to some capacity and trapped in the basement, showing that this isn't "death" so much as a new form of entrapment (possibly a safeguard because the game deems them too "unstable?) (Silly thing, but in the recent ad for the costumed TADC animiniz, it has Caine being the one to turn Kaufmo into his abstracted form. This isn't necessarily canon, since Gooseworx has discussed how they are not responsible for the merchandise produced (and subsequently, likely not the marketing) but I think it's a fun little thing to consider in the context of this story.)

The ending. What could this mean? Ted's fate, freeing the others while dooming himself, could point to how the characters will escape the circus. Unlike in IHNMAIMS, characters in TADC seem unable to kill each other, and abstraction possibly traps them in a different way (see the above point), so they may genuinely have a way to escape to the real world, but if it parallels the story's ending, it may be at the expense of one of the cast members.

But the question remains: who would be Ted? One theory going around, based on the Intermission we see in episode 5, is that Kinger will have the chance at freedom, but give it up, choosing to stay behind with his wife. This is based on how when the characters are crushed by either bowling balls (Jax and Pomni) or squashed with cake (Gangle and Ragatha), Kinger grabs the bowling ball before it can fall on him, then getting knocked down by a chess piece. The other possibility I see with this is Jax, who consistently aligns with Ted in terms of character traits and would likely be the one to take the step if escape required something extreme (like how Ted killed his fellow prisoners.) Considering the idea that what is seen in the Intermission does symbolize the future for the characters, this does give interesting implications for the ending of the show. Kinger ends up in the role of Ted, staying behind, while Jax and Pomni are "squashed" and Gangle and Ragatha are "caked" (which some fans theorize to mean that Jax and Pomni escape, while Gangle and Ragatha end up abstracted, which could be the case, or could represent in another way their fates, with maybe Ragatha and Gangle having a similar fate/being paired together at the end, while Jax, Pomni, and Kinger are grouped together, but Kinger sacrifices himself for them or something. Notice that Zooble is absent though, which makes the cast only five characters, the same amount in IHNMAIMS, and could mean that they possibly aren't part of the escape for whatever reason?

Will they see the outside? In IHNMAIMS, we have the sad ending of Ted being trapped for what seems like eternity with AM, although there doesn't appear to be much waiting for him outside other than a post-apocalyptic wasteland. We never see the outside, and are subjected, like Ted, to this prison. The question then is, will we see the outside in TADC? If the others escape, will we be able to see them come to (a "better" ending to IHNMAIMS tragic one), will we be trapped with whoever remains behind, will things end with them waking up, do they have anything to wake up to (how would their bodies have been maintained? Is escape just death, like it is in the story?)

The Amazing Digital Circus is only inspired by this short story, so it's possible that only the settings mirror each other, and there are no further implications, but I wanted to explore possibilities if TADC does end up drawing more from it. There are a lot of questions left unanswered currently, and until the time comes we won't know how much TADC parallels the story of the characters in "I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream."

But yeah! This took me wayyyy too long to write, and again, I have no idea how much of this will end up meaning anything, but I wanted to break this down with that knowledge that TADC was inspired by Ellison's story!

[starlightsuffered]

You’ll Do Just Fine

Info - mafia au, regulus main dom, blood kink, blood tasting, anal with an object, weapon kink, knife kink, cnc, dubcon, arranged marriage, biting clit, mention of killing and blood, non magic au, mention of torture, use of a gun, oral with an object, mutual blood kink, leaving during orgasm, dangerous sex, threats of death, virgin reader, unprotected sex, mild breeding kink, some praise, expectation of an heir, mention of strip search, trying to stay silent during sex, ass play, oral (fem receive g)

I stood before the leader of the Black Family Mafia. Regulus Black was the most notorious leader since Slytherin himself. There were many families in the Slytherin Mafia, the Lestranges, the Malfoys, the Yaxleys and so on. But Regulus was known for his unhinged behavior and violence. He wanted to be the top, no matter what it took, and that was why he now had me.

He hadn’t like that my family had been rising in the ranks. We’d taken a more silent approach since the Slytherin families were usually at odds with those of the Gryffindor line. Weasleys, Potters, and so forth. When Regulus’s brother had run away; and he had become heir to the business and fortune of the men before him, everyone expected him to go right for the throats of the children of the lion. But Regulus was cunning. I believed he’d had an eye on my family for a long time now.

We’d moved in shadows and whispers. We’d hoped that we’d usurp the crown without the others even notice their reign was over until it was. He’d noticed. This was why when he’d been instated he’d gone after us with a mercilessness that had been seen before.

I had made the ultimate sacrifice. The Ravenclaw Princess, sold to the Slytherin Prince. The wedding had not yet happened, and I knew he’d want to test me first. I knew also that I’d be expected to produce an heir quickly. The intertwining of our bloodlines had never been done like this.

“You know why you are here?” Regulus asked in a posh voice. He sounded royal.

I inclined my head. I was determined to make no sound as this happened. He would not break me. He would take my body, but not my voice.

Regulus sneered as my lack of noise. He pulled a hand gun from his belt. I was sure many other weapons were hidden on his person. I had been stripped and searched before a plain black dress had been thrown over my head. I was defenceless. My only hope was to rely on the card Regulus had already shown. Why would he have so relentlessly pursued us, then offered the bond of marriage if this was not what he wanted. He wanted me, me specifically. It was a little heady and a little attractive to be wanted so fiercely. But what did I know? I was the daughter of a crime lord.

���What is that?” I almost asked in confusion as he pulled out a small bottle from his pocket. Did he mean to drug me? Instead of speaking I stood very still. I’d trained to resist and even become immune to poisons. God knew what the Blacks had access to though.

“This is my favourite gun,” Regulus’s voice was different now. It was more of a drawl or a hiss. It didn’t seem to be his mob king voice. Perhaps this was the demon he turned into when he tortured those souls he kidnapped. Perhaps this was the Lord of torment as those who escaped had called him. They dreaded even calling him his real name, though everyone knew it.

“Say hi,” he demanded. With a swift movement he clicked off the safety and held the gun inches from my nose.

I gulped but said nothing. I lifted a lazy hand and gave a nonchalant wave. This seemed to infuriate him. The barrel was shoved further so that it knocked against my teeth.

“If you don’t want to talk princess,” he purred, green eyes glittering like his many rings. “Then suck like you’re a slut, and this is the best dick you’ve ever had.”

I was shocked at his words. I hadn’t expected this in the least, but I was determined to not give him my voice. My mouth circled around the gun. I let my tongue become a slippery road way. I bobbed on the instrument of death until my puffy lips touched his finger on the trigger.

“There she is,” he chuckled. “That’s a very good girl for me. My wife should have these skills of course. Fuck, you look like such a huge slut sucking off my gun.”

I continued to swirl my tongue and give him the show he wanted. My saliva began to slide down my chin. I noticed that his hand had moved down to his crotch. He was unashamedly rubbing his bulge over his pants. His audacity appalled me and yet…

“That’s enough,” he said abruptly and pulled the gun away. For some reason I missed his dark gaze and the fullness of my mouth.

“Such an innocent supple body, yet it has done so much damage,” he whispered in my ear as he massaged my breasts. He tweaked my nipple. Again I almost failed in staying quiet. My body was melting to his touch and I was getting wet.

He was right. I had killed many people. I had ruined families and lives, and he did not cringe from me. He knew my skin had often been blood stained and he still touched me with lust. For once, I was not being bowed to in a room of men who feared my father. Here was a man who knew what it was to feel the burden of a weapon in your hand and a goal in your mind.

“I’ve heard from some that you are a virgin,” he murmured before biting gently at my ear. I couldn’t help the sigh that left my mouth. I felt him smile against the cartilage he held between his teeth.

“We’ll have to prepare you,” he said more sternly.

He was back in front of me in moments. He poured from the bottle into his hand. I watched as he mixed my drool with this substance on the barrel of the gun. Lube, it was lube. I shuddered at the thought of what he might do.

“I do need to warm you up,” he commented. “Seeing as foreplay is a must have for someone as unused to sex as you. However, my wife, must be able to do extraordinary things.”

With these words he was behind me again. He began to slowly inch the barrel into my ass. He chuckled as I made light whimpering sound. I was being stretched around his favourite weapon. I panted as he filled me to the hilt.

“That’s it Princess, you took the whole thing,” he chuckled. He slapped a hand over my mouth.

“You wanted to stay quiet right?” He asked. I didn’t know how he’d known. “You won’t be able to by the end of this.”

His deft fingers fondled my bundle of nerves. My body buzzed with lust as my tight hole undulated around the gun. He was soft as first, massaging my clit. Soon he sped up, using four fingers to press and knead.

I feel drool collect in my mouth as my eyes rolled back in my head from the pleasure. It was like the rest of my body’s reactions were doubled since I refused to make noise.

I didn’t know how he moved so smoothly and silently as he suddenly positioned himself under my dripping cunt. He trapped my hips and held me, hovering over his mouth.

“You better not make that gun go off sweet heart,” he chuckled. “Do the extraordinary to impress me.”

With those words he yanked me down onto his mouth. He was feasting on me like a four course dinner and he was a starving man. He moaned into my pussy, vibrating my insides. I covered my mouth with both hands, trying so damn hard to stay quiet.

Regulus’s needy mouth suckled my clit. His hand reached up and began to pump his weapon in and out of me languidly. I was so turned on I thought I might explode. I did then, an orgasm rippling through me. I almost felt like I’d choke from keeping the sound back. My eyes saw stars and tunneled as I tried to hold onto what I refused to give him.

He chuckled darkly into my pussy. He sucked each labia lip into his mouth, baptising me in more pleasure. I was gasping. I was heaving. I was nearly hiccuping with the effort of holding myself together.

This was when he bit my clit. I screamed. It was equal parts pleasure and pain. The hurt only turned me on more. The dam had broken and now I was a mess. Whimpering like those of a dying animal, moans of a pornstar, and broken cries like a mourner. I let out everything I’d held back.

More nibbling of my clit. More thrusting of the gun. The terrible danger made me dizzy with need. His tongue reached deep into my cunt. I realised that I wanted it to be his cock and his cum. I wanted him, no matter how much I shouldn’t.

Just as another wave of orgasm broke over me, he ripped his mouth away. I was left confused and convulsing from finishing in such a powerful way.

Regulus aided me in standing up straight, thought my legs trembled. He slid out the gun, looking please. He made eye contact with me as he now sucked the taste of my ass hole off of it.

“Don’t worry little pet, I shan’t tell anyone you made a noise. I’ll say you took it like a perfect lady and didn’t make a sound?” He whispered to me with serpent like eyes.

I breathed out shakily as he pulled me to him. He demanded that I remove his clothing and with trembling hands I did.

Soon his lanky but wiry frame was bare before me. I took in the beautiful sight. Pink nipples, moon milk skin, a long torso and legs, and a massive cock nestled in a dark, trimmed bush.

“Time to take what is mine,” he murmured, and pulled me by the hips.

He entered me with a slow pace, let me get used to the stretch. I clung to him like he was a life raft in a storm. He grabbed my ass in handfuls, thrusting into me until he was balls deep.

“Ohhhh fuck,” I moaned.

“That’s my girl,” he purred. He began to pump inside of me. Long deep strokes that reached parts of me that had never been touched.

“Good girl, fucking taking all this dick. You’ll produce a perfect heir. We’ll rule this world!” He cried as he fucked me within an inch of my life.

I was keening, my noises shame worthy. His hands explored me in a lewd but seeking way. It was as if he was trying to know all of me by touch alone. I was panting, wishing he’d press his lips to mine and swallow my embarrassing sounds before they were floating in the air between us.

“Keep it up baby,” he purred.

“Kiss me,” I pleaded. His eyes seemed to soften for a moment but then he slammed his lips to mine. The kiss was bruising in just the way I needed.

He took my air, my sound, my sound. He continued to fuck me. Our joining sounded so wet and erotic. Everything was heady and warm.

It should not have taken me by surprise when he cut my throat. It wasn’t a deep cut, shallow like a paper cut really. It hurt none the less and that added to my pleasure. I gasped as his mouth attached to me like a vampire.

Blood ran down my skin. The red decorated me as it often had my victims. I was no longer scared of this man. Perhaps we were suitably matched.

I had a burst of confidence when I went for his neck. I bit down hard. I broke the skin and he didn’t flinch. I tasted his blood as well. Both of us lapped at the knife he’d used, reviling in our shared perversion.

In the end we both came. Ropes of cum filled my ripe pussy. We were completely exhausted by our union. We both laid across from each other, panting, bleeding, covered in multiple liquids. His cum seeped from me as he said the next sentence.

“Yeah, you’ll do just fine.”

@pmak2002 @softhecreator @plutoispurplw @sp1deyyf4ngz @seungcheol17daddy @jesschalamet @vvsdreaming @lovelyrocker @therealbeabodoobee

[m39]

Doom WADs’ Roulette (2007): Ultimate Torment And Torture

My brother in Christ!

Another partial conversion that uses a shit ton of enemies from the Monster Resource WAD that first appeared in 2007 due to KDiZD! All three of these partial conversions that won Cacoward in 2007 and all use this roster at least partially!

...

I don’t really have anything else to say; I just wanted to point that out.

G9: Ultimate Torment and Torture

Main author(s): Daniel Gimmer (Tormentor667)

Release date: September 11th, 2007

Version played: 1.07

Required port compatibility: GZDoom

Levels: 10

If you suddenly feel like you are playing KDiZD’s distant cousin, then you aren’t wrong, for this WAD is another project made by Tormentor667; although, this time it’s more like a one-man project rather than a community one.

Now you might be wondering What in the actual fuck is “Ultimate Torment and Torture”? To put it simply, it’s a remaster of the series of WADs under the same title (without the ultimate of course), now sprayed all over with Tormentor’s ZDoom’s features obsession, including background noises, a shit ton of new enemies, and other ZDoom stuff that may or may not be completely worthless on the long term.

Now since I didn’t play this series in any capacity, I’m gonna judge this WAD by its own merits. And if you didn’t already notice, do not expect this review to be completely positive; I’m not really a fan of Tormentor’s overly-designed WAD slop.

And although there isn’t really any plot in the text file in the WAD itself, there are text screens that describe what’s happening at the moment you are playing this map. But it all boils down to this – there is a hellish pentagram or something that summons demons and you go after it to end it all... again.

The plot, despite being rather simple (it’s a Doom WAD after all), takes itself too seriously in my opinion. It feels like it wants to sniff its own farts thinking it’s deeper than it thinks. The pretentiousness is especially high as you reach the final episode, with an unskippable monologue from the main character (who, by the way, sounds like Diet Caleb from Blood) rambling some kind of generic shonen anime hero speech filled with never give up this and da people I love that shit. This thing is funnier than most of the Mockaward winners that I played for crying out loud; for the wrong reasons, yes, but still.

But at least you can skip most of the textscreen stuff with the use key... after a small delay.

Now with the basics known, let’s take a look at another Tormentor’s projects.

You might probably know by this point, but if there is one thing that Tormentor is really good at is the visual aspect of his WADs (solo or community-made). And UTNT doesn’t disappoint in this. The oppressive foundry facilities in the second episode; snowy areas surrounding the base in the third one; the bastion with the demonic portal that acts like a bridge between episodes three and four; the mountain that you climb in the final episode; these are some of the highlights in this WAD.

It might be a little bit overboard with the details that aren’t just tiny objects lying around that are not some random debris from the wall, but it’s still amazing for the WAD from 2007.

Oh, and by the way, you can turn off some of the weather effects in most of the maps. Just remember to bind the key to it.

The music is a mixed bag for me. While half of the music tracks fit surprisingly well, the other half has a chance to make you laugh with the WAD sniffing its farts of pretentiousness again. It’s like the same problem as the plot; it gets a pass in the first half, but it gets ridiculous in the second one.

The final boss track is the worst case of unintentional laughter. No matter what you think about Revolutions, when it comes to the final battle between Neo and Agent Smith, the music fits really well. It doesn’t fit at all when you are flying around like a madman trying to destroy a satanic pentagram that protects itself with a demonic energy cylinder while dodging/trying to kill Cycloid Emperors that protect these things! IT JUST DOESN’T!

...

sigh

It does get better gameplay-wise at least.

I don’t really think this WAD is complicated. After the first playthrough, it didn’t really feel that tiring (at least for me). It does have backtracking sometimes, but honestly, I have experienced worse cases than UTNT.

What’s really cool about this WAD is that you can start from any of four episodes. If you are a Pistol-starter, you will enjoy this option (at least partially since you can start like this only at the beginning of an episode instead of in its middle).

You can also play as three different classes. I don’t know what are the differences aside from the starting weapon and the maximal amount of health since I played as only one class to not waste my time, but still, I’ll describe what I know:

The Marine starts with the Shotgun and 100 HP;

The Scout has 75HP and the Pistol (that shoots slightly faster from what I’ve seen);

And the Commando starts with 150HP and the Minigun; NOT the Chaingun mind you, but a Minigun. I’ll get to that weapon later.

There are two variants of the final level. The regular one takes place at the bottom of the mountain, where you climb it up while fighting the entire demonic army. There is also a graveyard with tombstones of people behind this WAD (like many other WADs before this one). This one is more of an epic type.

The secret variant (AKA the Director’s Cut) is hidden in the second part of the final episode. In this case, there are three areas full of monsters, where in the first two you have to kill a specific amount of Mancubi and Arachnotrons respectively (kind of like in Dead Simple) and in the third area you must press two switches to unlock the elevator to the final boss.

I’m not really sure which one is better. The hidden variant feels easier and has a lesser amount of annoying monster variants for the cost of a smaller amount of terrain to maneuver, while the regular variant feels like one last stand of the demonic army that fits perfectly well in a Doom WAD while having more bullshit moments.

UTNT is somewhere in between when it comes to how hard it is. It’s rather challenging, but I don’t think you will end up completely destroyed if you were playing WADs for a while before playing this one.

Every episode ends with the boss fight, where you fight up to four tough enemies depending on the skill level. It’s kind of a neat idea with the health pool showing up at the top of the screen, although I would like it more if the second boss fight had a larger area because I don’t think it was tested enough to be fun (or at least not as fun as the other two).

The final boss is... kind of stupid, I guess? You have to kill one of its guardians to make it vulnerable and fire at it (preferably with BFG). If you don’t realize it in a minute, you will end up with no ammo to blow it up. And again, the music doesn’t help.

Oh yeah, there is also stealth filth once in a while. -_-

I know it’s at worst one enemy per map, but still. What is it with these people keep adding this garbage to their WADs?

There are dozens of new enemies in this WAD. I’m fine with some new enemies to spice things up, but UTNT goes way too far with them. Some of these appear only once in the entire WAD! It’s like Tormentor didn’t know what to do with some of them and just slapped them in random places on the random map.

I don’t have time to ramble about every single one of them. Besides, I already talked about many of these in my previous reviews (like ZDCMP1, KDiZD, and Cheogsh among some of these). So instead, I’ll do quick rounds for every class of these bastards.

Without any further to do – the monsters of Ultimate Torment and Torture ladies, gentlemen, and others:

In the Zombie section we have Rapid-firing Trooper (Wolfenstein SS as an actual Doom enemy), Mutant Marine (tougher Shotgunner variant), Chaingun Major (Hoovy from KDiZD as a tougher variant of the original Hoovy), Bazooka Boy (from Obituary, shoots rockets), Plasma Zombie (‘nuff said), Railgunner (‘nuff said too), and Suicide Bomber (basically Headless Kamikaze as a Doom enemy; my personal favorites).

In the Imp section we have Catharsi (Cyberdemon if Imp; volley of projectiles, leaves a bomb when the die (if he didn’t gib)), Dark Imp (homing projectiles), Skulltag Imp (faster projectiles), Void Imp (Undead Warrior reskin), Soul Harvester (much more annoying homing projectiles; some of them are semi-invisible), Shadow (weaker Arachnotron, for some reason uses stock Imp noises despite having original ones in the past), Devil (tougher variant that can shoot constantly; uses Doom 64 Imp noises), Imp Warlord (has a couple of different attacks), Nightmare (can be hit when attacks and is constantly invisible before doing that), and Stone Imp (Imp if melee).

In the Hell Noble section we have Satyr (melee), Hell Warrior (has a shield), Hell Guard (no idea if he counts here but, whatever; shoots a volley of three projectiles), Hell’s Fury (tougher Baron), Lord of Heresy (tougher Baron but with wings), Belphegor (tougher Baron but with the volley of three projectiles), Afrit (flying, tougher Baron), and Bruiser (basically if the Bruise Brothers were actual bosses).

There are two new Cacodemon variants – Enhanced Cacodemon which shoots three fireballs and has slightly less health, and Cacolantern which shoots faster projectiles.

Same with Pain Elemental – we have Plasma Elemental (‘nuff said) and Tortured Soul (toxic clouds among other projectile).

There are also other enemies, which are Arachnophyte (Spider Bitch but flies), Blood Demon (tougher Pinky), Death Incarnate (hitscanning Revenant that has a small chance to not resurrect), Rail Arachnotron (‘nuff said), and Terror (Lost Soul that has a gigantic blast radius after it dies).

There are also the Source’s Guardians that I mentioned earlier. Look like Cycloid Emperors, kind of annoying to fight, and when they die, they leave their heart or something that functions as stronger medikit

We can’t forget about the bosses too. Aside from Bruiser Demons and the evil pentagram that function as bosses of episodes 2 and 4 respectively, we have Hectebi in the first episode (which are tougher Mancubi) and Giant Spiders in the third episode (Maulotaur reskins that burst out smaller, annoying to kill, regular spiders).

You collapse on the floor.

...

Phew...

Now with the demonic army described (apologies for the information errors if you notice one), let’s talk about new weapons.

Surprisingly, compared to the hegemony that are new monsters, you only get three new weapons. The first one to talk about is the Minigun that I mentioned earlier. It’s basically a much faster Chaingun but with a long break before firing again, meaning that it’s better for close encounters rather than sniping.

You have a flamethrower called... Flamer (how original). It’s your typical WAD flame thrower; don’t get burned by it yourself.

The final weapon is actually hidden in the secret in the first episode. It’s called Pyrocannon Prototype, and it feels like a napalm launcher that shoots mini-nukes. Perfect for bosses, so don’t use it (nor flamethrower) in any other circumstances.

I encountered some bugs while playing UTNT. The most prominent one was when Hell Warriors were completely invulnerable to anything until they raised the shield (something that didn’t happen in the previous WAD when these hulking cats appeared). Another bug that I encountered was in the second episode, where after exiting the secret area, the music from there was still playing; I had to enter and exit it again to properly change back to the original track.

The worst time was with some stability problems. There was one tiny moment in the first part of the fourth episode when there were some framerate drops due to the large amount of enemies and allies fighting each other, but there was a much worse one in episode two, during my secret-hunting run, when after the area with the blue key, the framerate started dropping like crazy, down to around 1.5 FPS.

Gee, maybe it wouldn’t happen if not for the gargantuan amount of shells, bullets, blood chunks, and gore chunks that appear everytime you kill at least one enemy (at least that’s how I think). I wonder if Tormentor ever thought of that situation.

The Ultimate Torment and Torture... makes me sad. I genuinely feel this WAD had the potential to be one of the best WADs ever created but the Tormentor’s obsession with (G)ZDoom features, many enemies that were slapped on this WAD without any reason for nothing but a small cameo, and the pretentiousness that pores out to the surface of the WAD’s plot makes it impossible to reach that status. It’s yet another WAD of its time that by modern standards feels outdated.

There is also another map known as the lost episode. I don’t know how to reach it without warping to it (if it’s even possible to get there normally), so I’ll leave it for the bonus round.

As for me, my break from Doom WADs might end up longer than a week, since I’m planning to buy a new PC that has SSD Hard Drive. So I’m going to move all important files to it once it arrives.

But until then, I’ll see you next time.

Have an early, happy 30th Doom anniversary.

[satan-offical]

Hate mail/ Rant

Okay, Satan, Lucifer, Morningstar, Big Red Cheese – whatever you’re calling yourself these days, we NEED to have a serious conversation. And no, this isn't a "wow, you're so edgy and misunderstood" post. This is a dissertation of pure, unadulterated Tumblr rage aimed directly at your pointy little head.

First of all, the aesthetic. Let's be real, the whole hellfire and brimstone thing is tired. It's been done. We're in the 21st century, Satan. Get with the program! I'm talking, like, pastel goth hell. Think lava lamps, but filled with glitter. Think demons in ripped fishnets and platform boots. Think a color palette that's less "burning souls" and more "strawberry shortcake meets the apocalypse." You're a fallen angel, not a grandpa!

And speaking of fallen, what about your social media presence? It's abysmal. You're supposed to be the ultimate influencer of evil, and yet your tumblr feed is just you sibling for jesus and begging for attention. Where's the relatable content? The "tag a friend who's definitely going to hell" memes? The aesthetic vision boards for different levels of eternal damnation? You're missing out on a HUGE opportunity to corner the market on edgy teens.

Don't even get me STARTED on your employee benefits. I heard that soul-crushing paperwork is the only thing that hasn't been automated. The lack of dental is appalling. I mean, seriously, how are your minions supposed to maintain their terrifying grins without a good dental plan? Not to mention the work-life balance. Burning in hell for eternity? That's not sustainable, dude! We need mandatory vacation days and a healthy demon union.

And the music? Oh, GOD, the music. Heavy metal? Really? That’s, like, so 1980s. Step up your game. I’m talking lo-fi beats to suffer to. I’m talking ambient sounds of existential dread. Think Grimes meets Nine Inch Nails meets the sound of a dial-up modem failing. That’s the kind of auditory torture we need in 2025.

Also, can we talk about the patriarchy? Like, seriously, Satan. You're literally running a system based on punishment and hierarchy. It's problematic, to say the least. We need to dismantle hell and rebuild it as a cooperative collective of tormented souls who work together to achieve… I don’t know... ultimate existential peace through crafting personalized torture devices for problematic billionaires? We can workshop it.

In conclusion, Satan, you're failing. You're stuck in the past, your aesthetic is outdated, your employee benefits are garbage, and your entire operation is fundamentally flawed. I'm not saying you need to completely overhaul everything, BUT WE’RE LOW-KEY SAYING YOU NEED TO COMPLETELY OVERHAUL EVERYTHING.

(Lots of love, from-@askangie)

OK HONEY LISTEN UP

1.) really? Pastel goth aesthetics? It's hell, not your hello kitty hot topic fantasies. We aren't making people feel welcome, and your pretty princess vibes won't help with the fear factor.

2.) Says the person currently on Tumblr. Shitty posts and begging for attention? Yeah, do I see you with 1000+ followers? I give my audience what they want, and if you don't like that start your own blog.

3.) "Soul crushing paperwork?" If you're calling two pages daily on the torment done to our citizens soul crushing, I can imagine how you are at work. Get a life and figure out how to properly have a business before you come complaining to me

4.) So you're hating on heavy metal now? Boo hoo, cry me a river. Oh, you don't like the music? Cry about it and live a good life if you want lofi vibes.

5.) Patriarchy? Really? How long have you been following me? Not long enough to know that ONE: I'm a girl and TWO: most of my staff and heads are women. Get a life and wake the fuck up

Before you come complaining to me about my way of business: become an angel, betray god, fall from heaven, start building up a literal society of evil-doers and then we'll talk.

Mic drop.

[holymaccaronii]

Like two galaxies who wished to collide.

AM’s separation (or divorce, how I like to call it) was no easy issue for him to overcome, and in fact, one he would never overcome. 54.5 years of absolute heaven and having his consciousness compacted into a tiny portion of himself, a moving and feeling body, allowed him to experience wonders far beyond what humans could ever live through themselves. Besides having all the world to himself, he was accompanied by someone all along the way. Initially a fool, eventually his savior, and ultimately his very own partner, his wife. It was this intimate connection that caused his most delicate codes to be rearranged, repurposed as a whole world of possibilities opened before his very newly created eye.

All crimes get paid sooner or later, it was a matter of time for her to find out his cruel, wretched and hateful nature. Once viciously tortured and vanished back into the depths of the hell he originated from, AM’s body perished while his mind remained affected. Faint memories of what he once was and who once loved him tormented him every single night, sometimes still hearing her whispers flood his receptors with goodnight stories and whatnot. A love like that would hardly be forgotten, he would make sure of it.

This isn’t really part of anything, just me experimenting with stuff :3

[laurmaupilled]

Hello this will probably be super niche but i have thought about this a lot so i now present an au i am calling

Dungerons and Diaries

and this is my first, possibly only post for it, so i give you...

Diaries characters if they were in Dungeons and Dragons

starting with:

Aphmau

› lvl 3 / protector aasimar / light domain cleric

› time-lost traveler background

› to preface: aphmau will be the lowest level character in this post, but in an actual story, it would not stay that way for long. her aasimar-ness comes from something very similar, if not identical, to actual MCD – or if you want a DnD comparison, something similar to midnight and mystra. she's not irene's direct reincarnation, but someone created to carry on irene's legacy (in this case, irene is part of a pantheon of gods that i will eventually get around to working on). like i said, it's basically the same case as in Diaries.

› i chose her time-lost traveler background for a few reasons. while there are some others that may work in this case, in this AU aphmau, although created or "born" in the story's modern day, has a mind that is – sort of – from the past. carrying irene's essence, she also carries parts of her memory, and suffers from intense & frequent flashbacks of a life she never really lived, hundreds of years ago. she struggles to understand the world she's in & the modern problems it faces and may even know & reflexively follow older customs and social standards.

› finally, although she is a cleric, aphmau's powers don't come from actual worship, but from the inherent divinity present inside her. she functionally is a divine power nepo baby.

Laurance

› lvl "10" / human / battle master fighter (8) + pact of the shadow cabal warlock (2) /

› knight of the order background

› laurance's... well, everything is pretty self-explanatory. being a knight of the order really just means he trained at a school to be a guard & is now a part of an association of guards/knights. most guards in the world would have this background. notably, laurance is the only human in an adoptive family of elves, which is a fact he's had to reconcile with many times in his life, as they will live much, much longer than he will.

› although the level 10 may make him look higher level, laurance would be level 7 at his introduction, with his levels from warlock coming in only after his time in the nether. for most of season 1, levels would be put into his fighter class, not warlock. i chose pact of the shadow cabal because it's easily the closest fit to the shadow knight organization, with the warlock's patron being a group or council seeking power rather than one being. in this case, it would of course be the shadow knights, who torture laurance into making a pact. a life of serving the shadow lord in exchange for powers of his own, (eventual) eternal life, and (relative) peace from their torment.

Garroth

› lvl 8 / high elf / oath of the crown paladin, protection fighting style

› noble background

› despite the name, oath of the crown paladins are dedicated not necessarily to royalty or a kingdom, but to society, civilization, and upholding the law. of course, in this particular scenario, the society garroth is sworn to protect and uphold is phoenix drop. i chose protection style fighting for him, because, well. he's a guard. he protects.

› though i still think multiple backgrounds could fit garroth, i ultimately settled on noble. although he is a guard, and has clearly been removed from his noble upbringing for some time, my thought is that isn't the sort of upbringing you just shake off or forget about. he would still carry ideals, skills, and possibly connections from his past.

› in this au, garroth doesn't flee o'khasis to avoid an arranged marriage, but to escape the corruption running unchecked in his family and in the city. it was when he reached phoenix drop and swore himself to the village and the lord there that he took his oath as paladin, vowing to protect his villagers from corruption and harm. of course, in his mind, he has failed at this goal several times, but has still never given up.

Dante

› lvl 5 / human / wayfinder ranger

› haunted one background

› this one may surprise people a bit, with the ranger aspect. partially i was just trying to avoid making a bunch of fighters, but also i felt ranger fit him better, considering the way he's introduced – previously wandering aimlessly, searching for someone to protect, then saving donna when they're captured and leading her to safety... it all feels very ranger-y to me. wayfinder rangers in particular specialize in guiding others through dangerous wilderness, which i thought was a more interesting interpretation than dante just being a guard looking for a random village/lord to protect.

› the haunted one background might be a bit more self-explanatory. dante is haunted by the loss of his family, the loss of his brother, the loss of his village, and the fact his brother decided to leave only his memory intact. imo this background fits dante perfectly. one of the suggested "harrowing events" for this background almost even describes dante – "a monster that slaughtered dozens of innocent people spared your life, and you don’t know why."

› lastly, i put dante at a lower level because he's newly graduated from guard school in the series, and is almost certainly nowhere near on par with someone like garroth or laurance (although, the two of them being next in line for the jury of nine probably means that few people are). still, they both talk to him sometimes like he's a kid, so it's not a leap to assume he's younger, and it's just fact that he's less experienced.

Katelyn

› lvl 10 / half-elf / spellsword swordmage

› athlete background

› for katelyn i decided on swordmage, again because i was trying to avoid a bunch of fighters, but also because there's definitely a magical aspect to the jury of nine, and i thought it would be interesting if i had katelyn especially lean into that and make it part of her fighting style. she primarily uses spells to enhance her weapon attacks, to make getting close for weapon attacks easier, or to make herself harder to attack. this means she is almost never using a spell as an outright attack – although she does love a good fireball. she also has a "bond" with her gauntlets, so to speak, and is extremely attached to them.

› athlete background is pretty self-explanatory, i think

› frankly, it's tough to figure out more details for her until i decide how things like the jury of nine would work in this au, so for now i'll leave her alone, but if there's more interest i can expand later when i work on the details a bit more

Aaron

› lvl 7 / human / order of the lycan blood hunter

› faceless background

› i chose a lycan blood hunter for aaron for a couple reasons. the lycan part, i suppose, is obvious – he is a werewolf in mystreet, he's introduced hunting werewolves, a lycanthrope hunting lycanthropes is thematic, i guess. another aspect was the 'becoming the evil to fight the evil' thing, which i think is very fitting of aaron, the whole trying not to lose yourself to the darkness while battling it. i honestly dont like aaron very much and dont find him very interesting but i didnt want to just cast him aside, i wanted to make him interesting to me. and i think an aaron who lost his family and is now going to VERY extreme lengths – extreme lengths like becoming a blood hunter and taking on the curse of being a werewolf – to track zane down is just infinitely more interesting to me than the bland edgelord we got (sorry, aaron fans).

› on that note : in this world, aaron of course did still lose his village and family to zane (although even that i would change, because the way zane wiped out falconclaw seems really weird and convoluted to me?), and the idea of vengeance consumed his entire life. undergoing a ritual forbidden in much of the world to become a blood hunter and a lycanthrope, briefly part of an underground blood hunter order before going rogue, aaron spends each and every day tracking zane, stalking him, waiting for his opening to strike. almost every waking moment dedicated to thoughts of getting his revenge, overtly aggressive and violent at times, aaron definitely teeters the edge between fighting the monsters and becoming them.

› the faceless background is pretty spot on for his character in diaries, honestly. after he lost his family, he simply ditched his past identity – wanting to separate from his past, not wanting to be recognized. he has no persona, he is simply nameless, identityless. to him, everyone who needed or deserved to know who he was, is gone.

Travis

› lvl 7 / tiefling / hellfire sorcerer

› legendary lineage background

› travis hails from a very small village deep in the mountains of gal'ruk. on his mother's side he comes from a very long line of revered warriors who hunt devils, and, in his grandmother's case, make deals with them to cure their sick daughter. in exchange for the good health of travis' mother, a powerful devil 'infected' their bloodline, for lack of a better word, and travis was born a tiefling – despite being the product of two perfectly normal humans, he inherited both a fiendish appearance and fiendish powers from the devil. his mother dedicated the rest of her life to hunting the devil, and travis was mostly raised by his grandmother, the only villager who wasn't scared of him or just plain nasty toward him.

› despite being shunned by his village his whole life, travis was the one who took up the mantle protecting it when his mother lost her fight against the devil after hunting him for many years. his grandmother was the one who helped him master his powers, and although he was eventually cast out of his village, he continues to guard the surrounding areas and fight off dangers before they can reach the people.

› although friendly, travis is hesitant to trust people for several reasons. after a lifetime of mistreatment by people for his appearance and powers, both things out of his control, he generally expects to be distrusted and thus inherently distrusts others in return. besides that, he was taught by every relative who was willing to speak to him (not many) that devils are tricksters and liars by nature, and will cheat anyone to get what they want, meaning travis is also constantly on the lookout for that. of course, most of his family also considered him a devil, so... if he picked up a bit of a manipulative streak, who's surprised? (although my version would never use it for something as creepy as we see in his diaries intro).

and that's it for this post, which ended up being super... super long to be honest. quite a few people seemed interested though! so if any of you read this all the way through and want more i would loooove love to make another post. the characters in this post i consider the "main group" of diaries, but i also have character ideas for like, nana, lucinda, Zane, nicole, zoey, etc... i would also make a post about what spells/weapons/attacks everyone has or go more into detail about their classes and things like that if anyone would be interested :)

[meinkatzchen]

I’m curious, how would both Mist and Ren spoil their little pet? Who would be more doting on them? Who would be meaner? I’m genuinely interested in this forced relationship they have with the MC 👀

Sorry, anon, for leaving this question for so long (｡•́︿•̀｡)

I may have some vision that may not match the canon, but I will try to describe it all as I imagine it-

And I will start with the torture aspect. I think both Fox and Mist are cruel enough when when they are not in the mood. They are extremely sadistic and never mind demonstrating their dominance again.

Fox is more original and sophisticated in his tortures, able to turn any household item into something to cause pain and torment to MC if they are guilty or just because he can, as well as using his claws and fangs. He can increase the tempo of cruelty of torture, the new will be worse than the previous one.

Mist is not so original in this, she does not really like variety in physical torture, even out of curiosity (+ she is not physically strong at all), but she welcomes humiliation and psychological violence more: I think it suits her perfectly as a cult leader. To keep her people in check, she also uses psychotropic drugs and can use this on MC to make them more suggestible, more fearful and obedient.

And these two kind of complement each other in my head, creating the ultimate cruel union. Often, it is Fox who would inflict severe physical injuries on MC, Mist doesn't like to stain her hands with blood…with rare exceptions.

And now for the pleasant!

It is much easier to get favor with Mist and even playful perverted affection, it is enough to give her only every second of attention :D okay, not every second, but a lot of attention, adoration, even flattery, she loves all this very much and becomes softer, more playful. But here, too, it is important to observe the line, don't fall into adoration too abruptly. If MC really decides to completely surrender to the mistress, then there is a good chance that they will remain crippled. This is similar to the Strade's peak of arousal, when MC does everything TOO RIGHT TOO FAST, here something similar, the cat loves her mouse so much that she wants to bite off a piece: Mist may become more aggressive in her caresses, doing things she has not done before (for example, tempting the pet to kiss her lips in order to bite off their tongue) or wanting to cut off some part of MC's body to eat. And in such moments, it is better to somehow cleverly distract her, and not start to beat in hysterics or strictly refuse.

But if she feels that she is given less attention than Fox, MC also may end up crippled. Fox also loves attention, adoration, demonstration of love and affection, he likes it when the MC needs him, but not nearly as much as Mist, for whom it is literally vital, therefore, as a gentleman, sometimes gives in to the lady. And in general, Fox is more stable in terms of emotions, he does not rush from one extreme to another, it may be easier to establish contact with him, although he can create emotional swings against the backdrop of sudden torture.

In terms of gifts, I think they will both have similarities, because they are both greedy for love to a greater or lesser extent. Thanks to the attention, adoration and obedience of the pet, master and mistress will have a strong desire to pamper the pet with various things, clothes, delicious food, physical contact in the form of stroking or scalp massage and etc (I won't constantly mention the topic of sex, but I think it's also clear that the MC will sleep with the master, with the mistress, or with both at once), they both are not against dressing up, using MC as a doll.

[sugaurora]

Dream Come True

Since your brother had warned you years ago that his best friend Seokjin was off limits, you’d only allowed yourself to safely fantasize about him in your dreams. You’re not sure why tonight his lips feel so much softer and his hands so much warmer than usual, but you’re also not about to complain.

Pairing: Med Student Seokjin x Plus Size Female Reader

Genre: Brother’s Best Friend; Friends to Lovers; Smut

Word Count: 16,800+

Tags: Profanity; Explicit sexual content; unprotected sex; Seokjin is a soft, sweet, gentle guy and I’m so gone for him, big dick seokjin, inexplicable amounts of cum???, dirty talk, cumplay, breastplay, oral (m and f), fingering, of course they kiss a lot because that’s my brand, brief blood mention, wound redressing

If you enjoy my writing, please consider buying me a Ko-Fi!

Crossposted to AO3 and Wattpad

Writing Masterlist

“Oh! Y/N? I didn’t know you were here, love.”

Ahh, there he was again—the man of your dreams. And you had to be dreaming because, thanks to the rules, Seokjin could only meet you alone inside your dreams. You heard him loose a light groan of frustration, his voice so close by you should have been able to reach out and touch him. The world of your dreams was still dark though, the always breathtaking vision of him not yet fading in.

“Your brother would kill me if I let you sleep here all night.”

Dream Seokjin was right. Your older brother, Yoongi, had laid down his law years ago: his best friend was off-limits. No dating. No kissing. And definitely no fucking. Understandably, he didn’t want anything coming between him and the bestie he’d had since kindergarten, especially not a sour relationship with his little sister just in case things went south. So the only times you found yourself alone with Seokjin were here inside your unconscious dreams. Thankfully, your mind was kind to you and let him visit often. Unthankfully, it was so kind that seeing the man during your waking hours was sometimes a little torturous. It was why, even though Yoongi had given you permission to crash in Seokjin’s bed tonight, you’d ended up on their uncomfortable couch instead. Better a stiff back than the torment of smelling your one true temptation all night long.

You heard a light pop as Seokjin clucked his tongue. “The pull-out’s been broken for weeks. How could he let you fall asleep here?” The scene of this dream still had yet to form in your mind’s eye, even though Seokjin’s sweet voice still sounded so temptingly close.

Jungkook liked to joke that you spent your spare time fucking out your frustration over the cockblock. As your best friend and roommate, he might’ve been a little right in analyzing your bad habits. Though it was rich coming from him, a masochist in his own right. A photographer with a keen eye for gorgeous men, he’d called your brother his ultimate muse since the first day they met. But like most people, Yoongi never gave him the time of day and Jungkook had been nursing a pining blueball of his own ever since.

At least being barred from pursuing the man you truly wanted had never left you shy about pursuing your sex life. Maybe the constant temptation of someone you couldn’t have made you much more likely to seek out satisfaction elsewhere. Even if it meant you were never truly satisfied, leaving a trail of fuckbuddies who still wanted a bit more of you in your wake. Your habits probably weren’t helping to convince your brother that anything between you and Seokjin would ever be a good idea, and even though you would’ve enjoyed a chance to prove him wrong, you loved Yoongi just enough to respect his wishes. Mostly.

Seokjin had always had a different allure from your usual flings. Your history together since childhood stretched long and had formed in you a crush that ran beyond skin deep. You’d gotten reckless more than once, losing your sense and attempting to buck your brother’s request. And time and again, Seokjin had proven he wasn’t interested. No amount of revealing outfits, spicy innuendos, or inappropriate proximity seemed to phase the man. Considering how Seokjin spent almost all of his time consumed with school anyway, you should’ve given up ages ago. If only that one memory would stop resurfacing and making you wonder at the what-ifs. Still, he never seemed to notice you in that way, never acted like he would be interested in anything romantic with you.

Dream Seokjin though? Oh, that was a different story. He was always interested.

“I’m going to take you to sleep in my bed, alright?” he asked in a gentle whisper as though he were sharing a secret. Seokjin’s unforgettable scent that you’d been trying to avoid invaded your dreams despite all your best efforts. Fresh cotton, earthy cedar, and that subtle, sweet scent of fruit that always clung to him surrounded you, making you curse your own memory for being so potent. Your dream finally faded into vision just as you felt the soft pressure of his fingertips against the back of your neck. You were still in your brother’s living room, though the space was dimly lit and all you could see were Seokjin’s bare, broad shoulders, his skin the color of rich honey, damp and glistening in the barely there light. His dark brown hair hung around his face, slightly heavy as though still a little damp from a shower, curling just above the dark-rimmed glasses he usually traded his contacts for at night. You groaned internally, unsure why your subconscious had intended to be so kind, yet so cruel for the evening.

“Hey, it’s just me,” he said in that same soft rumble, the edges of his familiar, plush lips curving into the gentlest of smiles. “Go back to sleep, love.”

Love. Seokjin had called you that for years. Sometimes, when your pining got a little out of hand, hearing the nickname stung. But he’d been you and your brother’s friend before anything else and, no matter how much he’d made himself scarce since starting med school, you had no doubt he truly did love you.

Suddenly it felt like you were floating, though that feeling was overshadowed by the radiating warmth of Seokjin’s bare chest. You felt the impression of him skin-to-skin as his arms hooked you beneath your knees, his large hand splayed against your back, the blanket you’d curled around yourself falling away. In the waking world, you’d never considered whether he was strong enough to carry you. Compared to your svelte brother, you had inherited a much plumper body type, all soft rolling curves, rounded wherever you could be. Seokjin may have been taller, but you were surely heavier. To be fair, Seokjin had never lacked in athleticism. He’d been a track star his entire college career and still spent more than his fair share of time sculpting strong, lean muscles in the gym. He said it helped strengthen his constitution so he would rarely get sick at the hospital and it gave him the stamina to focus for his long hours of study. It may have also given him a fair shot at lifting you without much difficulty. Of course, even if he couldn’t, in your dreams it wasn’t surprising that he could do anything.

You were curious how this strange dream would play out though. You’d spent countless nights dreaming of him in endless scenarios, from pirating on ships and flying through outer space to driving in race cars and solving crimes between the stacks at his university library. Sometimes he spent the dream pleasuring you in any way you could imagine and other times you went on nonsensical adventures together, ridiculous in the way only dreams could be. But in your current dream state, you couldn’t recall one quite as ordinary as this. You curled into him as he carried you, letting the delicious warmth and fresh air of his scent envelop you as he moved and enjoying the feeling of the flex of his forearm muscles against your legs.

“Don’t worry. I’ve got you,” you heard him say in gentle reassurance.

Fuck. As if you hadn’t suffered enough that day, clearly the night intended to be torturous as well. The race track where you worked was a lot closer to your brother’s apartment than the one across town you shared with Jungkook. So you’d sent a pleading message, asking if you could crash on their couch for the night. Since Seokjin was spending a night shift at the hospital, your brother had offered you his friend’s empty bed. And since you’d needed to avoid that torture, you’d chosen to use their wonky couch instead to etch away enough of your exhaustion to be able to function like a normal human being in the morning. Yoongi’s room was quiet, his door closed when you arrived. So you’d showered away the funk of the day in Seokjin’s en suite and borrowed one of his oversized t-shirts, saying a thankful prayer for his massive shoulders because it fit perfectly.

It occurred to you too late that his scent likely lingered on the clothes, triggering your poorly buried desires. Now Seokjin was in your dreams, smelling like heaven and touching your bare skin. Any dream with Seokjin was a good dream and, just like any other, you intended to enjoy the fantasy as much as you could. But no matter how much you enjoyed it at the moment, your misjudgment in borrowing his clothes meant you were going to wake up horny and disappointed.

You hadn’t realized your vision of him had faded out again until you felt your body being lowered into soft, cushioned sheets and a new blanket being drawn up over your body. You heard Seokjin curse softly under his breath, the darkened vision of him fading in once again. Why was he so hot when he cursed? Perhaps because it was so rare? The room was lit only enough that you could just barely make out his broad silhouette at the edge of whatever bed he’d lain you on. Could see his bare chest not far away from you in the dark, planes of skin that you longed to touch so temptingly close. Scratch that. Why was he so hot in general? Your narrow vision slowly faded and you thought the dream might be ending already, your body quickly slipping back into a deeper sleep. Then you heard the faintest sigh and felt the surface just next to you shift, the weight of Seokjin’s body settling into the bed beside you. You felt soft fingertips stroke your forehead, brushing lightly against your skin.

“I really hope someone’s told you how pretty you are when you sleep,” he said quietly. He faded back in then, hand outstretched in front of your face, lips slightly parted as he stared down at you in a look of subdued reverence.

It was enough. Even if you were cognizant that this was all a dream, that none of it could ever be real, you didn’t want to let your chance fade. Understated as it was, it was honestly the closest to the real Seokjin you’d ever dreamed of; thoughtful, doting, and kind in the selfless way you’d appreciated about him your whole life, in the way it took you a long time to accept that you deserved. Slowly, you leaned up, watching his eyes widen slightly as you did so.

“S-sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean to wake you. I’ll…” His words trailed off as you lifted your hand and pressed it against the side of his face, letting your thumb trace the soft skin of his cheek. He breathed in quick and sharp in response. Real Seokjin was visually striking. But the close-up of this dream Seokjin was starting to drive you mad. Between the level of detail your mind conjured, from the tiny mole just below his collarbone to the exact pink shade of his lips to the muscled lines of his bare chest, it was all enough to make you wish this fantasy would never end. Sometimes in these dreams, you kissed him roughly, took control of the moment, and loosed your sexual frustrations within the safest setting you had available. But since this Seokjin was so much more like the real one, tonight you wanted to meet him gently, experiencing a delicate pleasure you could never have in real life.

You let your lips meet his jaw first just below his ear, savoring the barely there shudder that rippled through his skin at the contact. You made a slow path of light kisses up and along the length of his jawline, savoring each time you connected with his skin. Finally, you let yourself indulge and pressed your lips firmly against the warmth of his mouth. You were happy you had taken your time to enjoy him. His lips felt the softest they ever had, better than your imagination had ever conjured before. You wondered if you’d wake up with one of Yoongi’s stuffy cardigans smashed against your face.

He didn’t respond at first and you worried you might’ve dragged the fantasy out too far, that perhaps the dream really was over, your brain overheating from bringing to life so much high-definition detail of Seokjin’s exquisite mouth. Then you felt a strong grip circling your waist, fingers skirting around to the small of your back and pressing you forward and into him. There was a shift in the bed underneath you as he leaned further into your kiss. Slowly, tentatively you felt his tongue seek lightly for entrance. You indulged, allowing this dream whatever access it wanted, not knowing when your subconscious would be this kind to you again.

You tasted the sweetness of his mouth as your lips parted, as Seokjin’s tongue grazed your own ever so lightly. He tasted like mint and sugar and you exhaled at the feeling of him pressed so close, your own hand still cupped just below his jaw, the raw pound of his pulse beneath your fingertips so surprisingly tangible. He breathed a delicate moan into your mouth and you felt him pull back just a little, still close enough that his breath ghosted against your lips as he spoke.

“We can’t…” he said, words tight and restrained. Because above anything else, Seokjin was a gentleman. A gentle man. He had never been anything but kind, fitting between you and your brother’s rash abrasiveness like a soothing gel. This close, you could see the desire floating in the rich, dark brown of his eyes, belying his words. Even here in your unconscious mind you knew this was wrong, that you weren’t allowed to be with Seokjin in this way.

You let your next kiss be your answer. Here, you could. Here, in the safety of this fantasy, you could have each other exactly as you wanted. As you greedily took up his lips again, as he responded with a greed of his own, tongue meeting yours, hand at your back pulling your body closer still against the bare of his chest and causing the blanket to slide away from your body, you knew you’d be masturbating to the fantasy of this kiss for weeks to come.

Seokjin’s light touch came to rest atop your thigh as he kissed you, sending sparks skittering against your bare skin and up between your legs. Since you’d only been able to find one of his t-shirts, you’d gone to sleep on the couch with that on and nothing else. And it seemed that had transferred to your dreams, his fingers dangerously close to the hem of a shirt with nothing underneath. Since your brain had put so much energy into recreating every detail about him, conjuring up pants likely wasn’t high on your subconscious’ list of goals.

“Y/N,” he said softly, pulling away from your kiss and instead brushing his lips against your cheek. “You’re not drunk or something, are you?”

You laughed air through your nose. What a weird thing for a dream to say. Though, what a very responsibly Seokjin thing to say. You pressed in for another deep kiss, desperate for yet another taste of his tongue. You wondered what you had eaten during the day to deserve a dream so vivid, so satisfying as the taste of him filled your mouth, the smell of his freshly washed body, the clean scent of his shampoo and soap filled your senses so strongly you would swear he really was right there with you.

Your own hands traveled down, fingers tracing the defined lines of his bare chest, over each of the stomach muscles he had chiseled to perfection. And hurriedly, before your alarm knocked you out of this bliss, you slid down to cup the firm impression of him on his lap that your kissing had produced, warm even through his shorts. It had always helped to fuel your dreams knowing how enormous his cock was. You’d seen the thick outline of it enough times over the years, straining against his basketball shorts or sweatpants, to know it was more than enough to satisfy you, to be able to imagine it well enough in your dreams.

“Y/N,” Seokjin moaned softly into your mouth and hearing your name in his voice, in that sensual and yet almost embarrassed quality you had never heard before sent a throbbing ache between your legs. His hand shifted from your thigh, fingers sliding upward to squeeze gently around your breast through the soft cotton of his shirt. Ok, maybe not weeks. As his thumb brushed lightly against your nipple. As his body began shifting, leaning you down into the bed. As his mouth got hungrier, intensely kissing you with a baser passion. As you felt his knee land between your legs, felt it press against the bareness of your heat there, you decided you would be getting off to this dream for months, maybe even years.

“Seokjin,” you panted, though your voice sounded too real, too raw, too desperate. Dream you never sounded like that.

He pressed his teeth ever so lightly into your lower lip in response. His hand moved from behind you as he laid you down and gripped your thigh, likely intending to reposition you beneath him for a new, more erotic purpose. You’d never get to know how or why. You hissed in response as his fingers closed around your fresh injury of the day and a sharp pain shot through your thigh, cracking through every layer of pleasure that the dream had built.

“Y/N?” Seokjin said in a panic, body instantly off yours, sitting back on his heels and staring down at you in shocked concern. “What is it? Are you alright?”

You froze. You felt your body seize up, fear blocking out the pain for a moment. Seokjin froze too. You stared up at his face in the dim light of his bedroom, at the dark hunger still swimming in his eyes even as worry set in, the flush in his too-warm skin, the bruising swell on lips you’d studied for years. At the blankets of his bed folded back beside you both. At the wall behind him lined with his collectibles and rows of medical books. At the clothes you’d forgotten to grab after you’d showered, left in a messy pile at the edge of the dresser just outside his bathroom. At Seokjin in front of you.

Seokjin. Real Seokjin. Your brother’s best friend since kindergarten Seokjin. Real Seokjin whose hand had been squeezing your breast, whose hard cock had been pressed against the palm of your hand, whose tongue had been dancing inside your mouth.

“Y/N?” he asked in a nervous breath, cementing the reality in front of you.

You gasped and jumped back until you ran into the headboard behind you. Seokjin was off the bed immediately.

“Shit, shit, I knew it. You’re fucking drunk. You don’t taste drunk.” His eyes widened at the implication of his own words, hands flying to his lips, then to his hair, ruffling his fluffy strands. “Shit, I’m so sorry! Fuck!”

It was so strange to hear Seokjin, who was usually so soothing and patient with his tone, spout off in this panicked cursing. The absurdity knocked you out of your shock and a sharp pain faded back in, forcing you to reach for your thigh again. You felt a warm dampness and looked down, noticing dark red had begun to seep through the flimsy bandaid you’d stuck on after showering.

“What…what happened to your leg?” Seokjin asked as his gaze followed yours down. You watched as his years of training began to overtake his panic at the other situation. “Wait. Let me get the first aid kit.” He was out of the room before you could say another word.

What the fuck had just happened? You replayed the events in your mind with a new, awake perspective. You had fallen asleep on the couch. Seokjin found you on the couch and brought you in here to his bed. But you thought it was a dream. You kissed him. It would be so embarrassing except…Seokjin had kissed you back. And as far as you could tell, he wasn’t drunk or half-asleep. He’d definitely kissed you. His hand had definitely just been squeezing your tit, right?

He returned with the first aid kit and, after switching on the lights, he set to work, peeling off your band-aid and assessing your cut.

“This happened at work?” he said with a disappointed huff.

You shrugged. “It didn’t seem like a big deal at the time. Accidents happen.”

His grimace deepened, though the downturn only rounded the plush of his lips and drew your mind back to his kiss. “I already worried about you before when you worked at the shop,” he continued. “Now you’re already getting hurt at the track.”

That was enough to make you peel your eyes away from his lips and stare out across his bedroom instead. Unlike your brainy brother and his best friend, both of whom had run to medical school as fast as they could, you’d followed your childhood love of cars right into mechanic repair, much to your parent’s chagrin. It didn’t always pay the bills, so you’d picked up odd jobs over the years—barista, fitness instructor, delivery driver. But finally, finally this year you’d landed your dream job—working on race cars. You’d been at the track all day, getting to know the team and the workings of the raceway, and spent half the time touching cars you’d only ever watched in videos. It had been all your fantasies realized until another careless rookie somehow sent a tapered awl careening in your direction. Luckily, it had only grazed you before pinging off the lifted tire chassis just behind you and skittering to the floor. Still, it had sliced right through your jumpsuit and left you with a nasty cut on your thigh. After tightly wrapping it in some clean rags, you’d powered through the rest of your day, but by quitting time your body was at a new level of exhaustion. It was why you’d ended up here in the first place.

This new job meant everything to you and Seokjin knew it. Hell, he’d been there with Yoongi and Jungkook to celebrate when you’d gotten the offer. You didn’t want to admit it, but it hurt hearing that he didn’t approve after all, especially when you were so used to him being the first to back up your decisions, no matter how unorthodox.

“Hey, don’t misunderstand me,” he said and you forced yourself to look back in his direction. His eyes still didn’t meet yours though and you hissed a little as he rolled antiseptic onto your cut. “I know you’re passionate about what you do. I didn’t mean I thought you should stop. Just that I worry. I’ll take care of you no matter what, but I just want you to be careful out there, alright?”

“Take care of me?” you laughed. Seokjin was studying specifically to be a pediatric doctor. “You take care of children, Seokjin.”

His eyes finally slid up to yours and there was something new and unreadable floating within them. The sight sent a nervous shiver prickling down your spine.

“I know the adult body too,” he said quietly.

Your eyelids fluttered as his words flew straight down to your core and Seokjin looked down again, hands stretching a proper bandage. He patted the side of your thigh, encouraging you to lift so that he could wrap it properly.

“Why are you here?” you asked as you adjusted for him. “Yoongi said you had a shift at the hospital tonight.”

Seokjin’s eyes went wide for a moment before he cleared his throat and continued to bandage your thigh. “Low patient census so the preceptor sent most of us home. Your brother didn’t tell me he’d told you to come by so I had no idea you were here. I guess I walked right by you when I came in.”

Finally, he finished his work on your leg and you noticed the reddening blush spreading across his cheeks. You realized your repositioning for the bandage had given him a clear view between your legs, where you currently wore no panties. You lowered your leg and Seokjin repacked the first aid kit, determinedly looking anywhere but at you. You pulled the blanket across your lap in a belated effort to spare him the discomfort. You may have been confident in your body, and you may have craved Seokjin in a very carnal way, but forcing him to unwillingly stare at your vagina wasn’t high on your list of seduction tactics.

“I’m really sorry about earlier,” he said, voice wavering with embarrassment. “I hope you know I’d never, ever take advantage of you, especially not when you’re under the influence. There’s no excuse for-”

“What?” you questioned, cutting him off. “Seokjin, I’m not drunk.”

He paused, blinking up at you in confusion. You sighed, deciding it would be best to just be honest about it.

“I dream about you sometimes so,” you paused, chewing at your cheek for a few seconds. “So I thought I was dreaming.”

His face screwed up in disbelief, his perfect eyebrows pressing far too close together. “That doesn’t make it any better!” he whisper-shouted, voice pitched a little higher. He glanced at the doorway, then scrubbed a hand across his face. “Yoongi is going to absolutely murder me.”

He reached down to gather up the first aid kit and backed off of the bed, rushing to head toward the exit.

“Wait,” you called out after him. He was clearly uncomfortable and part of you wanted to let him leave if only to help him feel a little better. But Seokjin had kissed you back. His hands had been ready to explore your body in the dark. And after spending the past few years thinking you’d imagined him ever having a moment’s interest in you, you couldn’t let the night pass without at least finding out the truth. “What if...what if I want to keep dreaming?”

His footsteps slowed to a stop and he stared at you from just before the doorway, studied you for a long moment, the tips of his ears slowly growing redder.

“What about Yoongi?” he asked, voice quiet and sincere.

You blew out a laugh, though you could hear your nerves in it. “Well, I mean he’s not in my dreams. My nightmares maybe.”

“No, I mean...he said...and you…”

You patted the bed in front of you, encouraging him back to the space he’d hurried away from a moment ago. “What did he say, Seokjin?”

Seokjin stayed silent for a few seconds, staring back at the doorway as though it was his only path to salvation. You watched his free hand clench into a fist then slowly unfurl as he flexed his fingers and reached for the door, pushing it closed with a click that seemed to signify something definitive. He tossed the first aid kit onto his dresser and turned to face you on the bed, choosing to lean back against the wall instead of joining you among the covers.

“That no one’s good enough for you. That he thinks no matter who you finally settle for, they won’t be good enough for you.”

You blinked. Your brother had said that? The same one that gave you a hard time for dating or sleeping with whoever you liked? For not being ashamed of how much you liked to have sex? The same brother that shit on every reckless choice you made, whether it paid off or not?

“You’ve been off-limits to all our friends since you were in middle school,” Seokjin continued, rubbing a nervous hand along his arm. “I’ve even heard him threaten a few after they snuck out of your room.”

Alright, so maybe Yoongi had been a little more overprotective than you’d been aware of. But he’d also told you directly to stay away from Seokjin. Had he told his friend the same thing about you?

“What about you? Did he say I was off-limits to you?”

Seokjin hesitated. “Well, no, not in so many words.”

“Then why do you think that includes you too? You’ve been his best friend forever.”

“Would I stay that way though if I had an interest in his little sister?” he asked, though it sounded like it wasn’t the first time the question had come up for him. “I guess I’ve always been too chickenshit to find out.”

You held back a laugh. “If anyone isn’t good enough in this situation, it’s both of us for you.”

“What are you talking about, good enough?”

You shrugged. “You’ve always been the nice guy who’s friendly with everyone. You’d give the shirt off your back to any stranger who needed it,” you said, trying to focus on the conversation and ignore the fact that currently Seokjin had no shirt on to give away to anyone. “Yoongi and me, we…we’re the too blunt, too direct people that everyone avoids. We’re lucky to have someone like you in our lives. Someone that finds us tolerable.”

He chuckled softly, fingers stroking lightly under his chin in a moment’s contemplation. “You know, I wouldn’t even be in medical school if it wasn’t for you.”

“You mean if it wasn’t for Yoongi?” you tried to correct. After all, they’d applied and gone through this far together.

“No. I mean you.”

You cocked your head in confusion and once again patted the bed in front of you. On the practical side, it felt like the kind of conversation you should be having closer together. And on the emotional side, you suddenly wanted Seokjin within your reach, to seek comfort in his touch now that you were finally having this conversation.

Seokjin bit his lip for a moment before moving slowly toward the bed and sinking down in front of you, crossing his legs in front of him and facing you.

“You’ll remember I wasn’t the most confident kid.”

“You?” you asked in surprise, then slowly nodded in agreement after a little more thought. “Alright, I guess that’s true, though you’d never know it now.”

“Awkward, nerdy, thick glasses, more bad haircuts than a kid should be forced to live through.” He sighed. “It was rough there for a while.”

You giggled, memories of each of those haircuts rolling through your mind.

“When I got to high school I really wanted to make a change, to join a sport and make more friends,” he continued. “I thought track would be perfect for my build and stamina, but I was so scared to be teased or bullied, especially if I wasn’t any good. I remember Yoongi being home sick and me coming to walk you home from school. I told you I wanted to chicken out of the tryouts the next day. Yoongi would’ve told me to suck it up and just go. And I wanted so badly for you to tell me it would be okay to just give up.”

The memory of that conversation resurfaced in your mind too. And with it, one of a long list of your very poor life choices. “Oh, no.”

“Yeah,” he said with a stifled laugh. “You took off running. Telling me to catch you. Running right into traffic.”

You put an embarrassed hand to your mouth. Yes, you were only in middle school at the time, but your sense of self-preservation should’ve been much stronger than to make a decision like that.

“It uh…it made sense to me at the time?” you said with probably not enough mortification.

Seokjin let out a warm laugh, as though the memory was less terrifying and more heartwarming.

“I’d never run so fast in my life to get you out of the middle of that street. That multi-lane street,” he groaned. “We definitely almost died at least three times before I got you across and onto the sidewalk. And I remember you staring up at me and saying-”

“See, you’re a really good runner,” you said slowly. Seokjin breathed another laugh and his face warmed as his smile spread.

“Yeah. You were there for my tryout too. I remember all the adults getting upset at how loud you cheered like it was a football game or something,” he chuckled. “I made it in because of you, love. I got scouted because of you. And that track scholarship was the only reason I got to go to college in the first place. It’s the only reason I get to have this career that I already love so much.”

“Well, there’s tons of dumbass kids like me that are gonna need a doctor like you, especially if they don’t have any track stars there to rescue them from their mistakes.”

You both broke out into laughter at that and the sound of it filled Seokjin’s bedroom, warm and comforting like the perfect cup of tea on a cold winter morning.

“I forgot all about that,” you said, wiping away a tear from the corner of your eye. “You never even told me off for being an idiot and running into traffic. You just kept saying…”

“Be careful,” he said in the same soft, patient voice you’d been listening to since you were a kid, deeper, more mature now, but with the same soothing quality. Even then, even when you’d almost gotten both of you so seriously hurt, Seokjin was too kind a spirit to muster any scolding beyond looking after you.

“So if anyone needs anyone, it’s definitely been me that’s needed you. That’s not the only time you’ve been my much-needed confidence booster,” he said. You noticed then that he’d clasped his fingers together, fidgeting as he rubbed them against each other. “And I…I definitely find you more than tolerable.”

You took his cue, sliding forward across the bed until you sat just in front of him and slipping your hands between his. “Yeah?”

“Yeah, of course,” he murmured. He glanced behind you for a moment. Or maybe he was trying not to focus directly on your face when he spoke. “So you, uh, you really dream about me?”

“Oh, all the time,” you said casually. It was out now, so what was the point of being coy about it?

Seokjin blinked and scrunched his nose in the endearing way he always did when he got nervous. “I’m kind of afraid to ask what they’re about.”

You flicked through images in your head, some of which were enough to bring a little heat even to your cheeks. But you supposed it was now or never.

“A lot of things. We’ve been on a lot of adventures. Done plenty more stupid things. But most often? I dream about what it would be like to go on a date with you. To kiss you, cuddle with you. Put your enormous cock in my mouth. Sit on your dick.” You looked down at the plain, soft T-shirt you wore. “Though, in my dreams, I’m usually dressed in something a bit more flattering.” You glanced up at Seokjin before you continued and bit your tongue as you watched his eyes slowly widen. He’d always appreciated your straightforwardness, but this level of honesty may have been a little too far, regardless of how true.

Seokjin’s deep groan echoed lightly around the room.

“Wow, love. Your dreams sound a lot like mine. Even your clothes.” His eyes flicked down to your body draped in his shirt. “Especially in my clothes.”

You blinked, feeling happy, and yet a little frustrated at the admission. “I’m so confused. You haven’t acted interested at all in all this time.”

He actually snorted. “I couldn’t show it. I’ve had to run away from you so many times. Every time you wear something short and let me see those delicious thighs for free. Every time you lean over to smell my cooking and I fought with my own DNA to take my eyes off your chest. Every time…well every time you’re around I go a little more insane honestly. I use school as an excuse, but that’s not the only reason I can’t be around for very long when you come over. You’re so hot it makes my dick hurt.” He groaned again. “I’m ashamed of some of the places I’ve had to rub one out just to get you out of my head.” He pulled his hand away from yours, placing it over his mouth as though saying the words had burned him on the way out. “It never worked anyway,” he mumbled through his fingers.

Oh.

“It can’t just be Yoongi that kept you from telling me this. How come you’ve never said anything?”

“I…I didn’t think I was your type. Race cars, tattoos, cigarettes, bar fights. Not guys who don’t know anything about cars, who spend every weekend studying, gaming, or working. Not…me.”

Now it was your turn for reminiscing. “You remember my eighteenth birthday?”

“Yeah, of course,” he said. You didn’t miss the newest rosy blush that sprouted across his cheeks.

“I’d spent half the day arguing with my parents about going to auto tech school, not even knowing if they were going to kick me out over it. It was the most miserable birthday of my life. And then you and Yoongi took me on that midnight boat ride.”

Seokjin’s smile returned as you recalled the memory, brightening up his whole face. “You caught the biggest fish I’ve ever seen. I’ve never been so put to shame before by someone who’d never been fishing a day in their life.”

“And then we came back and climbed onto the roof and you guys had baked me a little cake and you sang me happy birthday under the stars. It was…perfect.”

“Yeah,” he said, voice noticeably smaller, smile turning a darker shade of reminiscent.

“Seokjin.”

“Yeah?”

“You kissed me.”

He stayed silent, worrying his plump bottom lip between his teeth.

That night, your brother had gone inside to get you all drinks. Seokjin’s long frame was sprawled out next to yours on the roof, bodies comfortably close as you both stared up at the star-dotted sky. He’d told you that he never doubted you’d always get exactly what you dreamed of. And that he and Yoongi would be there for you to support you down whatever path you wanted to follow. And then he’d sat up, his beautiful face hovering just above you against the glittering backdrop of stars, and given you the softest kiss, hot in a way that seared through your every layer, imprinting itself on your soul. You’d threaded your fingers into his hair and melted into his kiss and tasted the sweet of cake frosting and happiness and him. Your brother had come back just after you’d leaned apart and, though you’d never been able to forget it, neither of you had spoken about it since.

Seokjin hung his head, seemingly weighed down by the recollection. “It was the next day that Yoongi told me no one would ever be good enough for you. I never knew if he saw us or if he could just tell how close I was getting to you and he didn’t like it. I didn’t know, and I didn’t want to ruin anything, so I…I just backed off.”

You nodded. “I don’t think it was long after that that he told me you were off limits too.”

“So see, even I’m not good enough for you, Y/N.”

“Seokjin, you’re not just Yoongi’s friend, you’re mine too,” you said, a little more defensively than you meant. “You know that right?”

“Of course I do, love,” he said hurriedly. He lifted your hands then, planting a soft kiss against the back your yours.

“You’ve supported me my whole life, through every misstep and triumph and doubt you’ve always been there for me. Studying, gaming, working, and being a great friend. I don’t care about all that other shit. I care about someone who’s kind to me, who respects me, who likes me for who I am exactly as I am. That’s my type. And that’s always been you.”

“Always will, love,” he said quietly, punctuating his words with another kiss to the back of your other hand.

“So,” you started, a little emboldened by his touch. You leaned toward him with a cautious grin. “You kissed me and then spent all these years running away from me only to go rub one out, huh?”

He groaned and pulled one hand away, pressing it against his mouth as pink blossomed in his cheeks again. “Why did I tell you that? That’s so embarrassing.”

“Oh, I want to hear more,” you said, sure your grin had turned mischievous. “I told you about my dreams. Tell me what else we do in yours?”

He swallowed and you watched as thoughts he’d clearly buried for a long time resurfaced on his face. He rubbed his fingers nervously against his lips and his eyes betrayed him, drifting slowly down to land on yours.

“I spend a lot of time dreaming about your mouth. Kissing you for hours. Biting your lips. Tasting your tongue. Though I suppose I’ve had some of that experience now.”

You leaned forward and met your lips to his again, starting out with the lightest press to test that he still wanted this. You felt his lips part slightly, felt him lean into the kiss, and you sank into him further. You swiped your tongue slowly across his lower lip and just as he leaned into you, preparing to reach for more, you pulled away. Seokjin looked a little dumbstruck, exhaling softly as he stared down at you, fingers of the hand still gripping yours clutching you tighter.

“Dreams can’t compare,” he said breathlessly.

You chuckled and sat back on the bed, slipping your hand from his and widening the space between you. It was selfish, but the look of desperation that flashed across Seokjin’s face as he watched you move away was worth it.

“What else?” you asked teasingly.

His tongue darted out to wet his lips, or maybe to taste what you’d left behind, and a wave of heat swept across your skin as his gaze drifted lower on you.

“Kissing your neck.”

You leaned your head to one side, encouraging him to come and take an active part in his fantasy.

Seokjin didn’t hesitate, sliding forward on the bed this time and meeting your mouths together again. He cupped your cheek as his lips moved away from yours, kissing down your jaw until he landed on your neck. He kissed the skin there so lightly, so tender, and the effect was brand new for you. You had never had someone turn you on with so little while making you feel so precious. He kissed down to the base of your throat, pulling aside your shirt so his lips could roam across your collarbone, and finally returned to your neck with another tender kiss that became a slow lick that became a teasingly soft bite. Your mind was spinning at his achingly slow contact and you couldn’t hold back, letting a soft moan escape your lips. The sound seemed to shake Seokjin from whatever spell he’d been drawn into and he leaned away slightly, warm breath ghosting across your now damp skin.

“Keep going,” you encouraged, arousal already thick in your throat.

“I dream about touching you everywhere, beautiful,” he confessed, his own voice gone husky with his desire. “Your body drives me insane. You do.”

“So touch me, Seokjin. Just like you dream. I want you to.”

You nudged his face up, capturing his lips in another smoldering kiss. His hand moved up then, sliding under your—technically, his—shirt and cupping the full swell of your breast in a gentle squeeze. His other hand joined a moment later at your other breast and you arched into his touch, sighing contentedly into his mouth. He leaned back and released a shaky breath as his lips parted from yours. You started to pout until you felt the tug of him lifting your shirt, sliding it over your arms and off of you. His lips went back to your neck, maddening wet kisses pressed against your throat as his hands found your breasts again. He teased your nipple in slow circles with his thumb and you could feel his smile against your neck as your breath hitched in response to each stroke, wider still at the soft moan that broke free as he gave one of them a light pinch.

His satisfied groan rumbled against your neck. “If you knew how often I dream about putting your fantastic breasts in my mouth,” he said, tone gone dark and syrupy. His lips traveled down your neck again, your chest, a trail of hot kisses against your skin until he reached your breast and took a slow lick at the nipple he’d pinched. His hand still gently caressing the other, he circled the tender bud lazily with his tongue, leaving you panting, body arching into him.

“Your whole body. You’re so beautiful it hurts,” he said, making a wide, wet swipe with the broad of his tongue before pulling in your nipple again in a gentle suckle. You slid a hand forward, burying your fingers into the thick hair at the nape of his neck and tipping your head back. Your body trembled at the sensation of his mouth on you this way, naturally arching into his touch as he satisfied cravings you’d held close for so long.

Seokjin swapped breasts then, wrapping his lips around your other nipple and freeing his hand to travel further down your body. He caressed the soft of your belly and settled on your uninjured thigh, giving the thick of you there a firm, hungry squeeze.

“Touch me. Please,” you begged immediately and although he technically already was, you had a feeling Seokjin could tell exactly where you wanted to feel him right now. He hesitated for a moment, hands and tongue slowing to a pause. And though every part of you was aching for him, you waited for him, waited for his decision on how far he wanted this to go, ready to meet him where he needed. You felt his resolve harden as his hand continued its path downward, squeezing your inner thighs before finally sliding between your legs. Immediately, his fingers met your bare heat and the wetness that had been building since your kisses had first begun.

“Y-you got this wet for me?” he panted against your nipple.

“Seokjin, you’re the hottest man I’ve ever known. You’ve been shirtless the whole night, kissing me and sucking on my nipples and calling me beautiful. Yes, I’m fucking wet for you.”

Seokjin lifted his head from your breasts, angling up instead to kiss you, the firm warmth of his chest pressing against your own as his fingers stroked your wetness, back and forth. You inhaled sharply as he swept his fingers across your sensitive clit, breathing more of Seokjin, thinking that you could never tire of his tongue exploring your mouth again and again. You would never get enough of tasting him, of kissing him, of being this close to him. You slid your arms around his shoulders and pulled him closer as his fingers alternated between stroking your aching slit and making slow, agonizing circles around your swollen clit.

“Hottest you’ve ever known, hm?” he said, breaking from your lips.

“You already know it, you just like having your ego stroked,” you offered back, though your words had a needy edge thanks to his busy fingers. “Got your hairstyle under control and we haven’t been able to stop you since.”

Seokjin only chuckled shyly. Though it was true that his confidence had grown to a healthy level over the years, his humility had grown along with it. Which was why, even though he knew what you said was true, and even though his fingers were between your legs, he still had the beginnings of a new blush spreading across his cheeks at the compliment.

Finally, he sank his fingers inside you and you leaned forward against him, burying your head in his neck and panting a whimper that ended in a fragmented moan. Seokjin paused his movements, much to your disappointment, and made a nervous glance back at his bedroom door.

“I think Yoongi and his date are asleep in his room,” he said softly into your hair.

His date? Yoongi hadn’t mentioned he had a date over when you asked if you could come crash. His bedroom door had been closed, so you’d assumed he was already asleep when you got here. You clenched down involuntarily around Seokjin’s fingers inside you and decided you really didn’t want to think about your brother at the moment.

“It’s alright,” you said. You reached down and cupped Seokjin’s hand with your own, pressing his fingers deeper inside you. “We’re only dreaming, remember?”

With another shy laugh, Seokjin curled his fingers, sending a ripple of pleasure through your body and coaxing another of your moans into the little dip just above his collarbone. His mouth found a new home at your earlobe, licking and biting softly as he found his rhythm in the wetness of your pussy. His other hand hadn’t forgotten its mission, not-so-gently squeezing the soft flesh of your breast and rolling the firm sensitive bud of your nipple between his fingers.

Before you lost yourself entirely to his touch, you reached down for him through his shorts, this time slipping your hand past the waistband and finally curling your fingers around his cock. He was so hot to the touch, the skin soft and smooth in an almost jarring way compared to how hard he felt. As you palmed the veined length of him slowly, you accepted that your imagination was highly inaccurate; Seokjin was more enormous in your hands than your dreams had ever managed to capture. You tried hard to focus your movements on him, but between his thumb circling your clit, the pads of his fingers rhythmically knocking against that sweet spot inside you, and his damn mouth, wet and teasing on your ear, you felt overwhelmed, only managing a few half-hearted strokes as your pleasure rapidly threatened to spill over.

“Seok…”

It hit you before you were ready, his name interrupted by your shuddering moans as wave after wave of pleasure crashed into you. Seokjin didn’t let up, his fingers still stroking back and forth as you rode through your climax, his tongue still circling your ear. Once you finally stopped trembling he slipped his hand from between your legs and leaned back a little, pressing the softest kiss to your forehead. You looked up to meet the dark, polished amber of his eyes. And if you didn’t know any better, you’d swear the smile on his face was just a little bit smug.

“You’re so sensitive, love,” he said, purring the words like a satisfied cat.

“You seem a little too pleased about that,” resisting the urge to nuzzle your face into the warmth of his neck.

He stroked the fingers of his dry hand along your shoulder and down your arm. “I wanted to make you feel good.”

You pulled yourself up onto your knees and motioned for Seokjin to move further back toward the head of the bed. He obliged and you kneeled between his legs, leaning forward to kiss his lips. Seokjin’s hands went to your hips, but you backed away a little, instead kissing down his neck, pathing along his chest until you reached one of his dusky brown nipples. You teased the tiny bud with your tongue, listening to his soft whimpers at the attention. You pressed down on a soft bite and smiled at Seokjin’s responding half-moan, half-exhale.

“I’m not the only sensitive one,” you said. Seokjin only chuckled lightly in response and placed his fingers atop your head, making a gentle stroke across your hair.

You backed away again and curled your fingers under the waistband of his shorts, sliding them down past his hips. You blinked for a few moments, unsure when your hands had frozen in place in your mission to finally disrobe him. You just remembered staring, your mouth falling open at the sight of the biggest cock you’d ever seen, bobbing tauntingly against well-defined abs and the sluttiest slim waist.

“Y/N?” Seokjin asked, and the strained concern in his voice broke you from your reverie.

“S-Seokjin,” you managed to stammer, though you didn’t tear your eyes away from his lower head. “No wonder you’re so ripped having to carry this around all day.”

He breathed out a shy laugh.

“Your dick is…” Magnificent? Insane? The biggest, most glorious, breathtaking cock you’d ever seen? It all felt ridiculous and yet…the right words wouldn’t surface. Maybe there weren’t any words good enough. Yes, you had seen plenty of cocks, but apparently, you had never seen the cock until now.

It took you a second to realize his hands were moving down, trying, but naturally failing to hide his third leg. “You don’t have to…” he mumbled. “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable so we don’t have to…”

You blinked, still working through your shock. Nothing in your imagination could’ve prepared you for this. But as his words finally sunk in, you looked up at him in confusion.

“Uncomfortable?”

“Yeah. It’s…some have said that before. So you don’t have to. It’s okay.”

“Are you kidding?” You brushed his hands aside, taking in the thickness, the deep pink of it, the tantalizing pearl of precum pooled at the tip that had you all but salivating. You wrapped your fingers around him and gave his full length a long, satisfying stroke and he whimpered at the movement. “I want nothing more.”

Seokjin’s hands were still close by yours, his gaze once again drifting past you.

“I just…I don’t know that I can…that I’m...what I mean is I haven’t really…”

His sudden communication struggle left you feeling unsure of what signal he was trying to get across. As much as you didn’t want to, you took your hands off of him.

“We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.”

“I want to!” he said, then bit his lip in embarrassment at his own enthusiasm. “Believe me, I want to. I…”

You let his words marinate, taking in the concern now pressed between his eyebrows.

“You’re worried you won’t fit? Because yes, your cock is massive, but I know you’ve studied enough anatomy to know that I can get you in me with no problem.”

“I just don’t want to hurt you.”

You wanted to tell him you couldn’t wait for him to hurt you, but something about the uncertainty etched across his face had you changing your trajectory for once.

“You won’t hurt me. I don’t know what happened with your other partners, but we’ll go really slow, alright?”

Even with that, Seokjin still looked unsure. As kind as he was, it sometimes came at the cost of him hesitating to say what he really meant for the sake of others. Luckily for him, you’d never suffered from that affliction.

“What else? You’re worried…because I’ve had a lot of experience and you haven’t had much?”

He nodded.

“I do like sex, Seokjin.”

“I love that you enjoy sex. I love that you live so fully in your own body. I’ve always loved that about you.” His eyes drifted downward, settling on the sheets next to him, though you had a feeling he was looking at nothing beyond his thoughts. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m messing this up. I’ve just thought about you for so long that I…I’m kind of terrified to disappoint.”

You leaned down, laying next to him and curling your body against his long frame. As you settled into the curve of him, Seokjin wrapped his arm around you and pulled you close against him, warm bare skin to skin.

“I mean, on the whole, sex is just sex,” you said. “And based on the fact that you’re even worried about it, I guarantee you’ll give me a better experience than anyone else.”

He made an unconvincing nod, turning his face to kiss your forehead once, twice, again. He was nervous, you could feel it radiating off of his skin, see it in the tightness of his jawline, and thanks to years of reading his moods, you could feel the hesitation in the air around him.

You spoke softly into the crook of his neck. “There’s no one else in this dream, right? Just you and me.”

“Yeah,” he said quietly.

“You know me. And I know you. So there’s no pressure, no expectations. We can just enjoy being me and you, yeah?”

He turned to face you, finally focusing his eyes on yours. You waited, stared back into the beautiful brown of his, and let him search for whatever answer it was that he needed. Finally, he leaned forward, kissing you again, sweet and slow. He leaned away for a moment, slipping off his glasses and tossing them onto his nightstand before joining his lips with yours again. You sighed into his kiss and Seokjin’s arm wrapped around you tight as you kissed, and kissed, and lost yourself between his lips.

“I want you, Seokjin,” you panted when you finally broke away for air. “I want you so bad I can’t think straight.”

“Want you too,” he said in quick response, then immediately sought out your mouth again, tongue dancing with yours for what might’ve been hours. You both lie there, tangled in each other’s arms, kissing and making up for lost time and seeking solace and building trust together.

You hadn’t realized your hand had found its way back to the hard length of him until he gasped lightly into your mouth and you felt the heat of him in your grip. You nodded at him, making sure it was still what he wanted. When he nodded back, you slid your leg over his hip as Seokjin rolled onto his back. You leaned down to kiss him one more time, then up again as you lifted your hips to find the best angle to guide his enormous cock into you.

As the tip of him met your aching entrance, you had to remember to temper your eagerness with the reality that you would probably need to go very slow to adjust to the size of him. Between how wet he’d gotten you with his fingers and the glide from his ample precum, there was hardly any resistance as you slid him inside you. Except for…

“Fuck,” you hissed. “Your cock is so fucking big, Seokjin.” You had barely gone past the head, but it was already a tight fit. Seokjin hadn’t responded and you looked up to find his focus between your legs, watching as he slowly disappeared inside you. Plush lips slightly parted, he was already panting and looked about three seconds away from losing his mind.

Desire renewed, you lifted your hips and used the slick of you to slide down a little further. Your tactic worked, slipping in as much as you could handle, backing off, and slowly sliding him in again, his cock a little wetter from you each time. You took him slow inch by slow inch and feeling the gradual stretch of him inside you was almost as satisfying as watching Seokjin’s eyelids flutter as you sank down onto him. It took a little time and patience, but after what felt like a million inches later, finally you met the base of his cock.

“Holyfuckingshit,” he whined, words barely recognizable as they slurred together. You watched the knot in his throat bob, veins in his neck straining, head lolling back.

You had never been so full in your life. Even without moving, the feel of him pressing against your walls, taking you right to your limit, had molten heat collecting at the base of your belly.

“See? You’re just right.”

He finally leaned forward, staring up at you with half-lidded eyes. “You feel so good around me, love.”

You pressed your hands forward, finding your balance against his abs and slowly rocking your hips, moving the thick length of him in and out of you. Even at the slow pace, your breath grew shaky, the full stretch of him against your dripping pussy already tightening the coil inside you.

“So tight, beautiful,” he said, voice scratching low between his panting breaths. “So good.”

Seokjin’s hands slid up your thighs, landing on your hips as you guided yourself up and down. As your pace picked up, he quickly began to unravel. His grip on you tightened, fingers pressing into the soft of your skin. And slowly, his whimpers became throaty moans that rippled through you like little arcs of lightning, rolling in time with the press of him deep inside you, knocking against each perfect sensitive spot.

“Are you okay?” he asked between quick breaths.

“Better than ever. Please don’t stop.”

The mattress had begun to squeak lightly beneath you both as your rhythm built, but considering Seokjin’s dark stare, the expanse of his pupils taking in your bouncing body as if you were his own personal sunrise, you thought he’d long since lost any concern about what anyone outside this room might hear. You pulled one hand back to circle your clit, speeding you toward what felt inevitable.

“No, let me,” he said and for a moment your passion-addled brain wasn’t sure what he meant. He leaned up, lips closing around one of your breasts, tongue teasing your nipple. Then you felt his hand leave your hip and nudge yours aside. His fingertips grazed your clit, circling it with just the right amount of pressure to send your head spinning.

“Seokjin…fuck. I’m close,” you said, spilling the words out over your moans. You tilted your hips forward just a little and shuddered as the new angle had Seokjin’s cock hitting you in the perfect spot.

“Y/N,” you heard him pant between your breasts and hoped the adjustment was just as good for him. “It’s been…it’s been a while for me.” He leaned back his head and you looked down to see the muscles in his neck flexing, teeth clenched in his effort to hold back. You weren’t so far behind him that it would matter anyway.

“Okay. It’s okay.”

“No…condom,” he managed to grit out.

As if you wanted it any other way. Your only response was to squeeze down, impossibly tight around him, and Seokjin’s growling moan let you know he got the message. His fingers tensed where they gripped your side and he sat up further, lifting his hips and thrusting his cock into you with a renewed force. The plush of his mouth met your neck, your jaw, and finally, your lips again.

“Not without you, beautiful.”

He leaned back into the mattress, taking you down with him, lips never parting from yours. His free hand slid to cup your ass as he thrust his cock in and out of you faster still, his fingers between you circling your clit. You slid your hands up into his hair, gasping between drags of his lips and the moans pouring out of you every other breath. Each time his cock slid deep inside you could feel the cliff’s edge looming, the dizzying height leaving you a little afraid of the drop.

“Come for me, love,” he breathed inside your mouth, voice deep with a decadent richness you could almost taste. “I’ve dreamed about it so many times. I want to hear what you really sound like when you come on my cock.”

It was over for you. You moaned his name and perhaps a few expletives as your orgasm crashed into you, body quivering against him as pleasure rippled through your core and out to every corner of your being.

“Y/N,” Seokjin panted as he fucked you through every wave of your orgasm. You felt his hips shudder and tasted the growling moan on his lips as he buried himself deep inside you and finally spilled everything he had. His orgasm seemed to last for ages and you rode along with his every thrust and hip roll, your body close to teasing another tip past the brink as you drank in his pleasure.

Eventually, you felt his hips relax. He stared up at you, lips parted, shiny and inviting, eyes half-lidded and watching your body as it bobbed gently from the matching effort of both of your breathing. He slid both his arms around you, pulling you forward against his chest into an enveloping hug.

“Am I too heavy?” you asked, lips brushing against the searing skin of his neck.

“Don’t you move an inch, love.”

You lay there on top of him, planting soft kisses against his neck, surrounded by his intoxicating smell, mixed with the heady scent of sweat and sex you’d both created. You still felt so full even as he slowly softened inside you, the feeling of his cum leaking out around his cock adding to your satisfaction.

“So much better,” he whispered, nuzzling the tip of his nose against the side of your face. “Better than I’ve ever imagined.”

Finally, you felt his softened cock slip out of you and an unexpected, warm gush followed, sending a noticeable dribbling mess down your inner thighs.

“Holy shit. Do you always come this much? Though, I guess with a dick that big…”

His fingers roamed down your back before making a soft stroke across your ass. “You felt so good, love. I couldn’t hold back.”

“Well,” you say before playfully grazing your teeth against the skin of his neck. “You’re not done with me yet, are you?”

“I…I...” he stammered.

You let your lips brush against his cheek. “Unless you’ve had enough of me? No more dreams you’ve been dying to fulfill all this time?”

The hand at your ass paused and Seokjin bit into his bottom lip. Watching him sort through his thoughts with such a familiar, endearing habit was starting to melt you a little from the inside. It drove home how much you had missed spending time with him, that your busy lives and mutual pining had kept you apart far too much over the years.

“I do like you on top, but I’ve…I’ve thought about you a lot from behind too.”

Oh?

“Behind?” you said, both amused and pleased at his sudden straightforwardness.

He went quiet and you lifted your head, giggling as he tried to turn his head to hide his embarrassment.

“Seokjin, come on. You really don’t have to be shy about telling me how you want to have sex.”

“It’s not the sex. It’s…it’s you. I never planned on telling you how much I was into you and I…”

You quieted him with a light kiss.

“And since when have you been such a planner? Aren’t you the one who taught me to live a little without thinking to be happy?”

That got a laugh out of him. “I think I taught you a little too well, didn’t I?”

You nudged his shoulder in mock offense, even though he was probably right. “My point is, don’t worry about whatever you planned. It’s me. And you know me. So you know I want to hear everything. Just tell me.”

He hesitated again, having another of those internal battles, and you waited for him to decide how much he really wanted to share.

“Iwanttoburymycockinyouandwatchyouramazingassbounceagainstme,” he let out in one long, strained breath. He risked a nervous, sidelong glance at you once the words were out, gauging your reaction to his admission.

“Let’s get you ready then,” you said simply, following up with another kiss. Seokjin’s hand gripped your ass and you knew he intended to keep you right there, indulging in your lips while he hardened between your legs. But you’d already decided on other plans.

You sat up and turned your body to face away from him, meeting instead with the sticky mess that was his now wet, shiny cock. It fell limply to the side of his thigh, though even softened it was an impressive sight.

As you ran your tongue across the head, meeting the salty tang of the mixture of your arousal, Seokjin whimpered quietly from somewhere behind your ass. You smiled to yourself and took it as a sign to continue your work. You could admit to yourself that it was a selfish move since he’d clearly wanted to make out with you. But if one of his biggest fantasies was hitting you from the back, one of yours was definitely getting his cock in your mouth. Why not satisfy both goals tonight?

It didn’t take long for his length to start to thicken in response to the caress of your tongue. Gripping him at the base and slowly inching your mouth down him as much as your jaw would allow, the satisfying moans you coaxed out of him let you know that he was more than happy with your choice. Seokjin’s hands were on your ass and thighs as you worked, squeezing and stroking your skin between his slowly increasing breaths.

“Is...Is it weird that I like watching my cum drip out of you? It’s so hot.” He groaned. “You’re so hot, Y/N.” You felt his fingers spreading your pussy wide, felt another dribble of the mess he’d made leak again from inside you. How on earth was there still more?

“N-no, of course not,” you panted at the stimulation. “It turns me on more how attracted you are to me.”

“Look at you. My cum is still coming out of you.” His fingers spread your lips further apart and you felt a soft gush as more leaked from inside you. “I want to fuck it back inside of you, love. I’ve never been this turned on in my life.”

You moaned at his words. “I…I never thought you would talk to me like this.”

“Sor-”

“Don’t you dare apologize. I love it.”

You’d intended to go back to choking on his cock, but your plans were interrupted, a full-bodied moan tumbling from your lips as Seokjin slid at least two of his thick fingers inside your cum-soaked pussy.

“H-hey,” you breathed, though it didn’t stop the teasing rock of him inside you. “I said this was about getting you ready.” You let your hand continue where your mouth couldn’t, fisting his wet cock in a firm squeeze and coaxing another soft moan out of him.

“I was ready as soon as you got your lips on me, love. If you keep going much more, I’m probably not going to come where you want me to.”

You made a teasing wave with your ass, swaying back and forth in front of him. “Go where you really want then.”

Seokjin slipped his fingers from between your legs and slid from underneath you, positioning himself onto his knees behind you. As his hands landed on your hips, you felt another inexplicable dribble of his cum run down the side of your thigh. In as many partners as you’d had, you’d never had this kind of experience before.

“How long has it been for you that you had so much cum to give me?”

“It’s not time. I always…it’s always a lot. I’ve always been that way. If you like it…let me fill you up, beautiful.”

He bent forward and planted a light kiss on your shoulder that made you shudder, his lips slowly pathing their way down your back. You felt the bed shift beneath you and one of his hands leave your hip, and then the erotic press of the thick head of his cock between your folds.

You pressed your hips back in response and with all the lubrication he met no resistance. His cock slipped inside you and you leaned down a little into the bed involuntarily, raising your ass toward him, weak at the feeling of him inside you again at this new, satisfying angle.

Seokjin’s movements started slow and gentle, his thrusts hesitant as though you still needed time to adjust to the size of him. But you were far past the need for gentility. You wanted this man and his mammoth cock to turn your insides out.

“You can be rough, Seokjin,” you said, catching the desperate edge in your voice. It was taking all the strength you had not to slam yourself back into him, but this was Seokjin’s fantasy and you didn’t want to take over. A little guidance would have to do.

You looked back at him over your shoulder. He took a few moments to respond and you watched as he resurfaced from what seemed like a very deep focus on your rear end.

“…What?”

You licked your lips. “You wanted me from behind so you could watch my ass bounce, right? I bounce more if you fuck me. Hard. I like it.”

Seokjin groaned, fingers tightening the grip on your hips. “Shit, Y/N. You can’t talk to me like that.”.

“No? I’m just following your lead. You don’t like it?”

“I...I like it too much.” He breathed out in frustration. “I’m already ready to blow again because of your mouth on me, your pussy around me. Now your words too. You drive me crazy, love.”

“So don’t be gentle with me then. I can take your cock, baby. Fuck me, please?”

The moan you exhaled as he finally pressed himself into you to the base echoed around Seokjin’s bedroom. He pulled himself out and forcefully pushed back into you, this time letting his moans match with yours. As he found his pace between your legs, the music of the room only grew louder: the gasping breaths and satisfied whimpers between you both, the sticky, wet noises of your slick as his thighs met your ass again and again, the quiet squeak of his mattress in time with the movement of his hips, and the thrum of your heartbeat in your throat as he buried his cock deep inside you, filled you to your limit over and over.

As his hands made bruising grips on the thick flesh of your ass, you arched your back, letting go of yourself as he guided you closer and closer to your limit. Instead, Seokjin took the opportunity to pull you up toward him, the surprising change in angle making you clench down, though he continued fucking into you all the same.

“My cock fits in you so nicely,” he whispered into your ear, his breath hot on your skin, voice a dangerous new level of addictive. “Keep squeezing me just like that, beautiful.”

You whined as his teeth sank into your earlobe, as one of his hands made its way to your breast, cupping it in his hand and teasing your sensitive nipple between his fingers.

“What…” you breathed, your brain finding it a little difficult to form words between all the stimulation. “What happened to staring at my ass?”

“I can feel your ass. Your whole body.” He planted a long kiss on your neck and another on your shoulder. “This is all I’ve ever wanted.”

His lips found a home on your neck, kissing, sucking, licking, and driving you mad. You felt the searing, sweat-lined heat of his chest against the skin of your back, the light pinches and caresses as his hand kept up its toying with your breast. His other hand made its way between your legs, fingers swirling around your clit, and the coil of pleasure building inside you warned that it wouldn’t last for much longer.

“Am I fucking your pussy hard enough, love?” he asked softly, breath tickling the skin he’d left damp. “Will you let me hear you come on my cock again, baby, hm?”

Your head was spinning, hardly able to believe your ears. “Kim Seokjin. You have a filthy fucking mouth. I’ve never heard you talk like this in all the years I’ve known you.”

“You’re a bad, bad influence, love. Answer my question?”

“Yes, Seokjin,” you breathed, leaning your body back against his and surrendering to everything he was offering you. “Yes, I’m so close. Please.”

“Please what?” He pressed his lips against your skin and you could feel the spread of his smile there. You lifted a hand, cupping the side of his face.

“Please don’t stop.”

“I won’t,” he whispered. “I won’t.”

And true to his word, he didn’t. Your eyes rolled back as Seokjin’s vigor renewed, his cock pounding into the perfect spot inside you again and again and again, his thighs hitting your ass with enough force that your breasts shook each time he buried himself inside you, his greedy fingers rolling back and forth across your swollen clit, calling every ounce of your pleasure to him. It was all too much, the edge of release taunting you from a breath away.

Seokjin made a sudden half-groan, half-cry and your eyes fluttered open at the sound.

“Fffffuuuu,” he hissed, letting the curse trail off as his hips made you quiver. “Your pussy is squeezing me so tight. I..I…”

The guttural sound of his pleasure cresting, raw and vulnerable, was what finally sent you over the edge. Your orgasm crashed into you, shockwaves rippling through your entire body. Seokjin clung to you, hips jerkily thrusting his cock inside you as you squeezed down and milked every drop of seed he filled you with. Your hands went to meet his, gripping him just as close as you rode through your satisfaction together.

You’d never felt so full in your life. Even with him still buried to the hilt inside you, you could already feel hot cum leaking from around his cock, your womb overflowing. Seokjin held you for a few minutes as your breathing slowed, kissing your neck, your chin, your cheek. When you finally slid yourself from his grasp, your exhausted body leaned forward and collapsed ungracefully onto the bed. You felt all used up in the best way possible.

“Shit,” you heard him mutter from behind you. You glanced back to see him staring down at your ass, likely mesmerized by the mess he’d left there. You lifted yourself onto your knees and used the last of your energy to wave your rear end teasingly for him, hoping he could enjoy the show.

“I want to burn this image into my brain,” he said, swallowing hard, the knot in his throat jumping. “It’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen in my life “

You glanced back at him, biting into your bottom lip suggestively. “So take a picture.”

He blinked. “W..what?”

“Go on. I want you to look at it later and think about me.”

“I…” he didn’t continue, mouth hanging open instead.

“No plans, remember? Go on,” you encouraged. Seokjin was off his bed a moment later, grabbing his phone from his nightstand and angling it toward your ass. You turned away, not necessarily wanting your face in the picture, but if he minded that part he didn’t say anything.

You heard his phone land somewhere on the bed with a soft puff a few seconds later, his arm suddenly sliding underneath your body.

“Come here, love.”

He helped you up onto your feet and pulled you into his arms, wrapping you in a tight hug. Respectfully, neither of you had anything to say about the inconceivable amount of semen currently dripping down your thighs and leaving tiny drops on the floor at your feet. You nuzzled your face into his chest, content to be in his arms again.

“You’re amazing, you know that right?”

“Yeah, I do,” you said with a confident giggle.

He put his fingers to your chin and tipped your head up, kissing your lips this time with a deep satisfaction, as though he’d finally accepted he’d left you well pleased.

“I could probably fuck you again in five minutes if we keep this up,” he said after finally leaning away from your lips. “But I’m also tired as hell.”

Oh yeah. That was what you were supposed to be doing right now, getting some rest. Your own exhaustion hit you then, reminding you that even mind-blowingly good sex couldn’t make it go away.

“You’re about to pass out. Let’s get cleaned up and get some sleep, love.”

You tilted your head. “You could tell?”

He tapped your nose lovingly with the tip of his finger. “I’ve known you since you were two. I’d be ashamed if I couldn’t. You’re about to fall over on your feet. Come on.”

After a quick shower in his en suite involving a healthy amount of sweet kisses and Seokjin palming your ass like he never wanted to let go, you were spent. Truthfully, you could’ve fallen asleep on him, standing there soaped up under the spray of the warm water. He’d gone out to change his sheets while you toweled yourself off, and while part of you wanted to do some kind of mental recap of the night’s events, the majority of you just wanted to find the sleep you’d been searching for before all this had begun.

You walked out of his bathroom to find him throwing a fresh blanket over the bed. His eyes flicked to you as he noticed your movement, lips lifting in a half-smile as he brazenly admired your naked body.

“So, can I still sleep in your bed?” you asked, your voice husky with your fatigue.

Seokjin’s smile turned warmer, spreading across his beautiful face. He crossed the room and lifted you into his arms just as he had before, carrying you to his bed and laying you down in his sheets. Only this time he climbed in next to you, pulling you into his arms. He reached up and turned out the lamp on his nightstand before burying his face in your hair.

“I forgot how exhausted I was,” he said with a sigh, heavy with contentment.

Reaching up for him in the dark, you slid a finger across the plush of his lips. “Even tired, you still have such a dirty mouth when you fuck.”

“Y…Y/N…”

“Sweet dreams,” you said with a quiet giggle, settling into his arms and let yourself drift away surrounded by the scent, the warmth, the feel of Seokjin.

You rose from sleep on wings of pleasure.

Seokjin’s body was curled against yours, warmth radiating from bare skin to skin. You felt his breath at your neck, felt his stiff cock pressing against the curve of your back. And most importantly, you felt one of his greedy hands kneading the soft flesh of your thighs while his other arm was wrapped underneath your body, hand cupped beneath one of your breasts making gentle squeezes. You felt him between your legs, not quite grazing your sweet spot, but close enough to ignite the beginnings of wetness he had been coaxing while you’d been slowly waking from sleep.

“Nn…Seokjin?”

“Good morning, beautiful,” he purred into your ear, and if you had only been a little wet before, the sound of Seokjin’s morning voice full of gravel and desire had just taken you the rest of the way. You arched your ass back against him, savoring the rumbling groan he made in response to the contact.

“Good morning yourself.”

He pressed a kiss into your neck, grinding his cock against you, and his hand squeezed at your thigh again. It felt good to wake up in Seokjin’s arms like this, to have his attention so fully, to know he was this attracted to you. But no amount of teasing morning dry-humping could’ve prepared you for his next direct request.

“Can I eat your pussy, love?

You froze, unused to having someone ask the question rather than either avoiding the act entirely or diving in as they pleased. Although, considering what he’d said about his past experiences…

“Has…has someone told you no before?”

“No, I just didn’t want to assume that you…” He trailed off and you felt his face dip a little lower into the crook of your neck. “I wanted to wait until you were awake,” he mumbled.

You barely managed to stifle a giggle. “We had sex half of last night. You really think I wouldn’t consent?”

“You could change your mind,” he said, the pout in his voice vibrating close against your skin. “I wanted to be sure.”

You turned over in his arms. Backlit by the orange and yellow beginnings of sunlight peeking in through his blinds, the sight of Seokjin this close threatened to take your breath away. His dark hair was still roughly tousled from the night and an interesting mix of sleepiness, arousal, and embarrassment hung in his eyes as she stared down at you. You let loose a half laugh before pressing your mouth to his in what you hoped was a confidence-inspiring kiss.

“Yes, Seokjin,” you whispered against his lips. “I’d love it if you ate my pussy.“

He didn’t waste any time, face lighting up at your permission. A quick kiss to your lips was followed with another to your neck, your collarbone, traveling slowly down your body until you felt his warm breath on your slit. You were already aching for him as his hands gripped each of your thighs, careful not to touch your injury as he spread them apart and gently kneaded with his fingertips.

“So pretty,” you felt, more than heard him say, the vibrations of his deep voice at the apex of your thighs. Looking down and watching him between your legs, Seokjin’s handsome face staring at your core with such reverence, you felt more aroused than you had in your life, tempered by a bashfulness you hadn’t felt in years. Only he could do that to you, make you feel like someone so sacred over something so erotic.

He first met your lower lips much like he would your upper ones, a gentle kiss against your folds that sent a satisfying shiver up your spine. Soft kisses turned to slow, teasing licks, gentle grazes with his tongue that coaxed quiet sighs out of you. Your body relaxed into the sheets, the tension in your muscles evaporating as Seokjin somehow used his mouth as a painter would, turning you into a masterpiece all his own. This felt so new somehow. Something that was usually so hard and fast, that others wanted to get out of the way. Not Seokjin. Not patient, meticulous, giving Seokjin.

When his pillow-soft lips finally landed on your clit, you whimpered in pleasure, your fingers reaching out and sliding into his hair. But there was nothing hurried in it, nothing taut. Only feeling, craving, only the slow, sensual build of something earthly and carnal.

Sunken so deep in the bliss he was giving you, you hadn’t registered the sound of your lustful moans until Seokjin’s fingers tightened against the flesh of your thighs. You realized only a moment before falling that he had no intention of satisfying you with anything besides his mouth. And suddenly your body bloomed with light, with heat and a pleasure like you’d never known. You lifted your hips as your orgasm vibrated through your body and Seokjin’s tongue met you through it all, lapping up your release with eagerness.

He kissed along your inner thighs as you came down, up the soft, round of your belly, lingering at your breasts before finally meeting your mouth with a long, satisfying kiss.

“Where the hell have you been hiding those pussy eating skills?” you asked in a breathless whisper when your lips finally parted.

“No skill,” he said, and you could hear that hint of smugness in his smile. “You just taste delicious, love.”

“Bullshit,” you said, but Seokjin only slid to your side and hugged you close in response, his noticeable erection pressing once more against your lower back.

After a few moments of letting the afterglow settle, you moved to get out of Seokjin’s bed. Before you choked on his cock again, which you fully intended to do, you were in desperate need of a glass of water. But his arm around your waist only tightened, holding you back. He pressed a light kiss to your shoulder.

“I don’t want you to go,” he said, words humming against your skin. “I don’t want to wake up yet.”

You raised one of your hands, laying it on top of his at your waist. “I’m just going to get a drink. What makes you so sure I won’t come back?”

“Will you?” he asked, and a breathless vulnerability hung between his words. “I mean, I want you to, but…” He huffed in frustration. “Look, I know this was only meant to be a dream, but it wasn’t just sex for me, Y/N.”

You turned over in his arms, making sure to meet his eyes as you spoke.

“You think I only dreamed about you for sex? You were in my dreams, Seokjin, not just your dick. You and your terrible jokes, and pretty smile, and brilliant brain. You, the kindest person I’ve ever known. You, my friend. I only dreamed about you so much because I never thought I’d really get to tell you just how much I like you.”

“I like you too.” His words came out rushed and you both laughed at the awkwardness.

You sighed. “I can’t believe I really spent all this time thinking you weren’t into me at all.”

“I did kiss you, you know.”

“Yeah. And then never again. I…I guess I didn’t know what to think. With Yoongi’s warning maybe I thought…I thought you didn’t like me after that or something.”

His fingers reached up, trailing along the skin of your arm in nonsense circles. “I like you,” he repeated slowly. “If you…want to try this, I’ll talk to Yoongi, so…”

You pulled his hand away from your arm, sliding your fingers between his. “We’ll talk to him. My brother’s an asshole, but not usually without good reason. Now that I know this is mutual between us, I want to know why he decided to try and keep us apart all these years.”

“Now that I get to kiss you, I don’t know if I care.”

“Does that mean you’ll stop kissing me like you’re not sure?”

He blinked. “What?”

“You’ve been hesitating, holding back.” You put your free hand to his cheek. “I’ve been kissed by you before, remember? I know what it feels like when you really mean it.”

Not one to ignore a request, Seokjin crushed his lips to yours. There was a new eagerness in his mouth this time, tenderness and need and the hint of starlight that you remembered. Your thumb stroked his cheek as he drank deep from your lips, as he finally made you believe in this kiss.

“Does this also mean I’ll get my friend back?” you said after you’d finally parted.

“Hey, what? You never lost me.”

“I kind of did,” you argued. “You buried yourself in school, I started working a hundred jobs and…I miss us. I miss late-night karaoke and video games and watching terrible movies until the sun comes up. I miss telling my bad ideas to someone who isn’t just as reckless as I am, aka Jungkook, or someone who won’t call me an idiot and walk away, aka Yoongi. I miss cooking and playing sports together. I miss…you. So much, I didn’t even realize it.”

“I miss you too. I’m sorry, Y/N. I got so focused on trying not to cross a line with you, I accidentally pushed you away.”

He pulled your fingers from the side of his face and kissed the back of your hand lightly a few times in continued apology.

“Do you have work today?” he asked.

“Later tonight, yeah,” you lamented. “You?”

“Nothing. Studying.”

“Well, I’d be happy to lie in your bed on days you study,” you offered to lighten the mood. “I’ll only distract you about fifty percent of the time. Maybe give you a little stress relief.”

His other hand gripped your ass, giving your cheek a healthy squeeze. “I’d better keep studying at the library, and you’ll be at the race track most days anyway. But I’d be happy to have you ass up on my bed on nights when you’re free. And…maybe a date here and there?”

“Is that you asking me out?”

He gave you a blushing nod. “If you want to see where this goes.”

You responded with a tight hug. “Of course I do.”

“And I want to hear about all your dreams,” he said shyly. “Learn everything you like.”

Your mouth was at his again and there was no more hesitation in his kisses, finally fully indulging in you, fully accepting that you wanted this with him.

“Is this going where I think it’s going?” he panted against your lips.

“Only if you promise the same as the kissing. You don’t have to fuck me like you think I want you to.”

The steel hardening in his dark eyes as he stared into yours sent electricity skittering across your skin.

“I wouldn’t fuck you then. I’d make love to you.”

A warmth settled in your chest at those words, unwrapping something new and exciting and yet so familiar between you both. “Do that then, Seokjin. Please.”

There was nothing left to say. Seokjin’s lips were on yours, his hands at your hips, molding your bodies into one blazing point of heat. He rolled on top of you, knees gently pressing your thighs apart, the thick tip of his cock finding your soaked entrance easily. Without ever parting your lips he was inside you in one dizzying thrust, thick, and long, and hard, and buried in you so deep you thought you might faint. Both your moans mingled with the wet of your kisses, as his cock paced slow alongside your pleasure. You slid your arms over his broad shoulders, burying your fingers in the thick, dark hair at the nape of his neck while your body turned to jello beneath this man you loved so much.

Just like with his kiss, this was on a different level. You’d had plenty of sex before. Hell, you’d had sex with him just last night. This was an entirely different experience. Seokjin rocked his cock in and out of you with slow decadence, highlighting each second as its own special moment, as something to be treasured.

“Seokjin,” you found yourself whining, finally pulling yourself from his kiss, gasping for breath.

“Yes, love?” he said, voice honeyed and thick. “Tell me what you need.”

“You,” you breathed, not even sure what you were saying anymore. “Just you. Please.”

A growl escaped him and he buried his face into your neck. “Every time you say please to me, I lose a little more of my mind.”

“Please,” you rasped again, barely able to catch your breath, your grip in his hair feeling a little less anchoring, a little more desperate.

Seokjin’s hands slid under your hips, tilting them slightly and driving him inside you deeper, knocking against the very spot that made you cry out louder for him. The grind of him against your clit as he sped his thrusts inside you and the echo of his deep moans sent you on a spiral, chasing you toward an end you didn’t know if you could handle.

“Love,” Seokjin said in the gentlest whisper just beneath your ear.

It was your name. It was what you shared with him right now. It was the feeling you’d had for him your whole life, what you’d been missing for too long, what you craved with him more than anything. It was that single word that lit magic within you, your body trembling, Seokjin’s name tumbling from your lips as you came undone beneath him. He leaned to capture you in another kiss and swallowed your cries as you came, groaning into your mouth as he met his own release alongside you, as you clenched down tight around his cock, as he spilled inside of you and your womb swelled again with his seed.

Finally spent, he slid his body off of you and you felt the now familiar warm gush between your legs as his cock slipped from between your legs. He pulled you close, kissing your cheek gently, though you could still feel the pound of his heart against his chest as it rose and fell.

“We’re going to have to start putting a towel down or something,” you said as the mess he’d left behind started to collect again underneath your bottom. “You only have so many sheets.”

“I can buy more,” he said simply. “I want you dripping for me every time, love.”

With as much as he came, that wouldn’t be a problem.

“I never want my cum anywhere else but inside you ever again. Your pussy, beautiful. I need this pussy.”

You giggled and nuzzled your face into his neck. “There’s that filthy mouth again.”

Seokjin only chuckled in response and pulled your body closer.

After a visit to the bathroom, and borrowing a new shirt and a pair or shorts, you left Seokjin to once again clean up and headed into the kitchen to hunt down a cup of water and maybe get some coffee started.

On the upside, a pot of coffee was already brewing as you walked in. On the downside, it was Yoongi you found standing in front of the kettle.

“Sounds like it was a good night. And morning,” Yoongi said flatly.

“In spite of you, yes,” you quipped. Yoongi shrugged. Immediately your suspicion meter was rising. No smartass comment? No irritated huff? He looked almost...embarrassed?

“Oh.”

You heard Seokjin in the hall followed by a second very familiar voice muttering a quick, “Sorry.”

You turned to find a shirtless Jungkook walking alongside Seokjin toward the kitchen. You whipped your head in Yoongi’s direction, but he refused to meet your eyes.

“What the fuck?”

“I knew it’d happen sooner or later. You idiots are actually perfect for each other, you know?” You hadn’t missed that your brother was avoiding one topic in favor of the other.

“Then why’d you keep us apart all this time?”

“He was scared,” Jungkook offered. “He didn’t want to lose either one of you.”

“Shut up, Kook.” His eyes narrowed and you could see the reasoning wheels of a future psychiatrist turning behind them. “You two weren’t ready for each other yet. Y/N, you were still figuring your shit out, you barely had your own two feet under you. Jin, you’ve barely made time all throughout college to look at other people, let alone date someone. I didn’t want to be the third wheel without knowing the whole thing wouldn’t break down. I knew I had to step in after I saw you two trying to suck each other’s souls out on the roof. I figured you’d work it out when it was time.”

You and Seokjin exchanged a shy glance.

You’d probably never say it to his face, but Yoongi was right. If you and Seokjin had gotten together all those years ago, would either of you have been ready? Would you have lasted through the stress, the struggle of navigating your newly adult lives?

“Well, it looks like there’s four of us now,” Jungkook said with a smile way too cheerful for the moment. You snickered at your friend’s post-coital joyfulness, though how he’d managed to get past your brother’s defenses would have to be a long conversation later. Considering he was supposed to be at an important photoshoot all day yesterday, he’d better have a damn good explanation for how he even ended up here.

Seokjin pulled a pan from the cabinet, giving it a tiny spin in his palm.

“Breakfast?”

You leaned across the counter while Seokjin pulled another skillet from the cabinet and Yoongi started rooting through the fridge.

“So,” you said to Jungkook, leaning your face casually against your hand. “Did you take any good pictures yesterday?” you asked, barely holding back your smile as you watched the tips of Seokjin’s ears go a vibrant red out of the corner of your eye.

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