#unless you’ve seen me reblog a lot of their stuff then maybe

[thewayofthemandalorian]

all’s faire - chapter two

Pairing: Modern!Pero Tovar x F!Reader

Series rating: M

Chapter rating: M

Word count: 4,005

Notes: Chapter two! These two are still very much in the enemies stage of their relationship but there are developments made in this chapter. Thank you to everyone who’s shown their enthusiasm for this fic, especially @lowlights​ and to @ezrasbirdie​ for reading it over. I’m no longer putting “outside” links (AO3/taglist form) in my fics but they can be found in my bio and on my masterlist. I hope you all enjoy this chapter!

Comments/reblogs appreciated.

Chapter warnings: Swearing, enemies to lovers, medication mention, injury mention, tension, sex mention

previous chapter || next chapter || masterlist (main) || masterlist (pero tovar)

A few, Pero Tovar thought-free, days later, your phone pings with an email notification. Most of your emails these days are shipping confirmations for books you’d preordered months ago. So you are surprised when an email from Pero Tovar pops up on your lock screen. 

Ugh. You’d been having a good day up until now. What did he want with you? A partner to kick some puppies? Someone to yell at sweet old ladies with?

The subject line is Medieval Faire. And, clicking it open, you see it’s addressed to a number of people. 

This note is to inform you that you have been accepted into the cast of the fifth annual summer medieval faire. Rehearsals for everyone are weekly and begin on June 4 at 8am at Lockwood Falls High School in the gymnasium. Do NOT be late. Please find your name and role from the list below. If anyone has any questions, do not hesitate to email me or Will Ballard. 

P. Tovar.

That’s got to be the most joyless “you got the job” email you think you’ve ever seen. Sure, it’s to the point, but can he not use some enthusiasm for once? You see your name below Cassie’s — role, tavern wench. Below your name is Sarah’s, also a tavern wench. And that’s it for the tavern by the looks of things. Unless there’s others that have yet to be confirmed. Or maybe there’s volunteers? Two people seems to be not enough to serve drinks to all the customers that will make their way through. Even on slow nights at the pub you used to work at, you never had fewer than four staff on. 

There’s a number of volunteers at the bottom of the list, so hopefully some of them are allotted to you and Sarah because otherwise it’s going to feel a lot more like work than Sarah and Cassie both said it would feel like. 

You read over the email again, certain the warning against lateness is directed at you. Asshole. At least your niece got in. That’s the important part, that she has fun. 

Getting up from the couch where you had been looking at job postings in a purely hypothetical manner (more for when Tess is more mobile and back on her feet), you check on dinner that’s cooking in the slow cooker — mac and cheese — before looking at your phone for the time; you still have fifteen minutes before having to go pick up Tess at her physical therapy appointment. You’ve prepared a nest for your sister on her bed for optimal comfort — Percocet and water bottle at the ready on her night table in case she needs it. 

Cassie’s due back from school at around the same time that you and Tess will be getting back from her physical therapy appointment. Since it’s almost the end of the school year, it’s crunch time for Cassie. Studying for finals, final assignments, all the fun stuff about school that you absolutely do not miss. Cassie’s a good student, though, on top of everything. You don’t know where she gets it from. Neither you nor Tess were ever ahead of schedule in school, so Cassie must come by it naturally. 

You’re not looking forward to a solid two and a half months of early weekend morning wakeups. Weekends are your sleep-in mornings. Where you roll out of bed at nine a.m. or later. To be honest, you’re surprised that a teenager is doing this willingly. But Cassie tells you it’s worth it. You’ll see about that. 

The alarm on your phone goes off, indicating that it’s time to go pick up Tess. It’s her third physical therapy appointment; it’s been kicking her ass, but in a good way. The therapist is optimistic for a full recovery; your sister was lucky, he said. The break had been clean. 

You drive across the town that you grew up in, the town you never thought you’d relocate to again. Not much has changed in the years since you left, for what you thought was for good. The only difference is that your parents had retired to Florida five years ago. 

Tess is sitting down in the waiting room when you arrive, a slightly pained expression on her face, mixed with utter exhaustion. 

“How’d it go?” you ask as you help her to your car. She grimaces as she buckles herself in.

“Painful. I’ll be glad when I don’t have to come here anymore.” Tess yawns.

“Did the doc give a timeline for when the boot can come off?” Your sister’s been chomping at the bit for the removal of the boot cast since it was first put on. 

Tess shakes her head. “No. Not really.” She sighs. “I don’t think they want to get my hopes up with a false promise.” 

It’s a mostly quiet car ride home; Tess is too worn out to contribute much to the conversation. “I got the part of bar wench,” you tell her. “Cassie’s wonderful and totally not grumpy teacher emailed me today.” 

Tess manages a smile; you’d told her all about Pero Tovar, both after the interview and after the information meeting. Both tirades had been punctuated with huffy sighs and rolled eyes and over exaggerated hand gestures, all on your part. Tess had just sat there, bemused by your passionate feelings towards Cassie’s history teacher. “Don’t contain your enthusiasm for my benefit,” Tess quips. “Try to keep some for Cassie, though.” 

You roll your eyes as you turn onto your street. “He’s just so…” You pause, thinking for the right word.

“Cantankerous? Annoying? Rude? Grumpy? Peevish? Assaholic? Another word that you didn’t use the last time you talked about him?” Tess offers with a smirk.

Pulling into the driveway, you offer her a withering glance as you put the car in park. “Very funny.” 

Cassie is just unlocking the door as you arrive, the timing could not be better. She turns to you with a grin. “Did you get the email from Mr. Tovar?!” she squeals. “We got in! And I’m a lady-in-waiting to Mrs. Garin!” 

You have to pause to remember who that is, a lot of new names and faces swirling in your mind. She comes to you; Mrs. Garin is the petite woman with long dark hair that Pero had talked to at the end of the information session. She’s playing the queen if you remember correctly. You think her name is Lin-Mae. “I did. Pretty exciting isn’t it, kid?” 

Cassie nods, her beam still plastered to her face. As always, her enthusiasm is contagious. You have to remember why you’re doing this. For her. “Can we watch Snow White and the Huntsman tonight?” An odd topic change if ever there was one. “Or maybe some episodes of Downton Abbey? Mr. Ballard and Mr. Tovar said we have to practice our accents.” 

Tess jumps in. “What about your homework? Any assignments left to do?” 

Cassie shakes her head. “Nope. I handed in the last one today. I have to prep for a history presentation but that isn’t until Monday.” She looks a little nervous, recalling what you told her about what Tovar said and you have another flare of annoyance at him that you try to hide.

“Don’t worry about that. I’ll make sure you have it down pat. Your mom and I will be your practice audience,” you reassure her. “But for tonight, mac and cheese and Downton Abbey. On one condition: we watch the Robin Hood movie with Russell Crowe as part of our research. It’s close to the time period we’re recreating.”

Cassie tries to hide a smirk. “You mean, the one with Oscar Isaac?” 

Busted.

- - - - 

 On Saturday at stupid o’clock, you pull yourself out of bed after pressing snooze as many times as possible without being late. For some ungodly reason, Cassie is bright eyed and bushy tailed when she meets you downstairs in the kitchen. Tess is still asleep. 

“I think we’re choosing our faire names today,” she says. You yawn again before grunting an unintelligible answer, your motions done by rote. 

Once you’ve had your first coffee, you’re more awake — or at least more willing to pretend you’re awake. You make another one for the road, topping up your tall travel mug. For the first time in a very long while, perhaps ever, you and Cassie are the first to arrive besides Pero and Will Ballard. 

Pero shoots you a look of incredulity. You return it with a questioning glare of your own, as if to say “what?” 

People begin to file in, a slow trickle at first and then a flood of them. It’s a smaller group than last time, since not everyone made the cut. Given how Pero seems to think you can do no right, you’re surprised you made the cut. 

He calls for attention at precisely 7:59:59 a.m. “Let us not waste time in retreading old ground. You all know who Will and Lin and I are and who we are playing. Let us instead go around the room. Introduce yourself using your real name, your chosen Faire name, and your Faire role.” He nods at Sarah to start.

“All right, hi everyone. I’m Sarah Bradford. Most of you know me already. I’ve been with the Faire since the beginning. As always, if you want to find me, I’ll be in the tavern serving drinks as Matilda.” 

Will Ballard nods a welcome back to her. Pero just gives a curt nod in approval. It’s clearly old hat for the two of them at this point; Sarah — Matilda, rather — isn’t introducing herself for Pero’s sake, except perhaps to confirm that she’s using the same name for Faire as she always has. 

You look down at the list of names clutched in your fingers as you listen absently to the others introducing themselves, first with their real names and then their Faire names. Cassie speaks beside you. “I’m Cassie Miller. Um, this is my first year in Faire —”

“Could you speak up a little bit?” asks Pero, not unkindly. 

Cassie nods. “And I’m a lady-in-waiting to her Majesty. And I was wondering if my name could be Clara?” 

“I don’t see why not,” Pero agrees. 

There’s a long pause and then you realize it’s your turn. “Oh. Hi.” You introduce yourself with a smile that has too many teeth, giving a wave that looks ridiculous. Sarah, already a good friend, gives a wave back. “Ummm. This is my first year doing this. I’m going to be a tavern wench with Sarah.” 

“Matilda,” corrects Pero as if you’re stupid. 

“Right, yes. Matilda. Sorry.” 

If Pero stares at you any harder, he’s going to burn a hole in your forehead. “And what’s your name, my dear?” he asks, the use of my dear almost mocking; you ignore it. You say your name and Pero sighs in frustration. “No. Not your real name, your Faire name.” 

“Oh, right.” You almost feel small in his presence. Looking down at the list of names to buy yourself a few seconds of time, you say the first one that crosses your field of vision. It’s a variation of your real name. Sarah hides a grin. Pero repeats it, almost disbelievingly, his voice flat. You can practically feel the tension in the room, all the fun sucked out as soon as he makes clear his disapproval. 

“Yes,” you say, with more confidence than you feel. “It’s period appropriate and I’ll be sure to remember it and respond to it.”   

There’s another eye-roll from Pero. “Glad to see you’ve given a lot of thought and effort,” he drawls flatly. You open your mouth to retort, but he’s moved on to the person standing next to you, evident that you aren’t worth his time or energy. 

Once everyone’s introduced themselves, you make your way over to Sarah, Cassie finding her friends. “Hey,” she says, your Faire name said teasingly. But her expression changes from teasing to one of concern when she sees your grimace. “What is it? Is it Pero again? Don’t listen to him; your Faire name is perfectly fine. He’s just a killjoy,” she says this part loud enough for him to hear. He pauses for a moment as everyone sits down on the mats on the floor for him to give his first accuracy lesson, but makes no other indication that he’s heard. As you sit down on a mat next to Sarah, he shoots you a glance that you miss but Sarah does not. She meets his gaze with a questioning one of her own as if to say “what’s up with you?” 

- - - -

The next few weeks are a crash course in medieval history. It’s all old information, given that history — specifically medieval — was your minor in college. So what if you scrolled on your phone, making arrangements and putting Tess’s appointment times into your calendar while Pero or Will Ballard discussed something that you had written papers and exams on? It doesn’t matter. No one’s going to quiz you while you’re serving them drinks. 

Your accent is more on the side of Eliza Doolittle than Lady Mary Crawley. But it works. And it’s as good as it’s going to get. You and Cassie and Sarah have full conversations using your Faire names in your accents to keep up the routine of it. 

After week four of mostly irrelevant-to-you history lessons, it’s time for costume fitting. Sarah brings a bundle of what look like bedsheets. You lift an eyebrow. “I thought I gave you my measurements?” you ask. 

“You did. Just wait until I lace it all together. You’re going to look great. Wine red or blue?” she asks. 

You look at the colourful fabric. “Ummm… Wine red, I guess.”

“Excellent choice.” Her own dress is green. Across the way, you see Cassie with the other nobility cast members; Lin-Mae is helping her into her own dress, a periwinkle thing. You put on the pieces of fabric as Sarah instructs you to. You’re still swimming in them when you’ve put on all of them. “Now comes the fun part. I would say you’ll get used to it, but, well…” She tugs on the laces.

“Jesus, Sarah!” you grumble.

“Who’s Sarah?” she asks.

Right. You’re supposed to be using the Faire names. “Sorry. Matilda.” 

Just as the dress is starting to have some shape to it, Pero Tovar chooses that moment to come inspect things. 

“How are things over here?” he asks. 

“Just peachy,” you say under your breath. 

He inspects you for a long moment, looking for any defect or thing out of place. Instead of feeling like a bug under a microscope this time around, you defiantly look right back at him. Checking him for any defect or out-of-place thing. He’s let his hair grow a bit, his beard more defined than it had been when you first met him. 

Usually he’s so well put together, but today he looks like he just rolled out of bed. You lift an eyebrow at his slovenly appearance. But, much to your chagrin, he’s still handsome as ever, even when he’s looking more like a slob than you thought you would ever see. You know part of the appearance is for his role of Captain Bastian. You wonder if he and the person playing Gideon are doing more practice after this.

“Everything’s finalized?” he asks. 

Sarah confirms that it is. “Yep. Matilda’s been my Faire name for five years, I’m not changing it now. William gave it to me.” 

The ghost of a smile quirks on Pero’s face; it’s the closest thing you’ve seen to a real smile on him. You find you want to see what a true-blue smile looks like coming from Pero Tovar. You’re sure, though you don’t know why, it would be like the sun coming out on a cloudy day. Jeez. Where did that come from? you ask yourself.  “I know he did,” Pero murmurs. He turns to you, his imitation of a smile gone by the time he’s facing you. “And you?” 

Trying to catch your breath but quickly realizing that it will be fighting a losing battle when wearing this getup so tightly, you say, “Yeah, everything’s fine.” 

He gives you another quick once-over. You can’t tell if he likes you in the dress or not. “Still keeping the name?” he asks, still inexplicably annoyed at your name selection. 

“Yep,” you intone dryly, not bothering to hide your annoyance at his own annoyance; when Sarah and the others had mentioned the name, it had been in a fun, teasing, ribbing kind of way. Pero just sounds as he always does with you. Annoyed. To your surprise, though perhaps it shouldn’t be given who he is, Pero practically snarls at you. 

“Come with me. I need to talk to you,” he spits before turning on his heel and quite literally storming out of the auditorium. 

“What is your problem?” you ask once you’ve reached an alcove for privacy. “You’re more tightly laced than I am and I’m the one wearing a corset.”

Pero actually rolls his eyes. “Are you taking any of this seriously at all?” he demands. 

“What?” you ask. “Of course I—”

“It does not seem that way to me. You clearly don’t give a shit about any of this. From the name you chose to your attitude to the way you don’t pay any attention. You spend more time scrolling your phone than listening.” 

“Okay, listen,” you manage to cut in. “I don’t know what your deal is, but you’ve been making me feel very unwelcome from the very fucking beginning. It’s just a name, okay? I know it’s not the most creative, I know that. But it’s period, I know it, I’m going to respond to it. Do you know where I currently live?” You don’t give him the time to respond, not even knowing why you’re going to tell him all this. “I live in my sister’s guest room. Everything I do these days is either for my sister or my niece. I’m on-call all the time, ready at the drop of a hat. That’s why I’m on my phone all the fucking time, so I can make sure my schedule is clear to do this, making sure that I have all her doctor’s appointments and physical therapy time in my calendar because guess who’s the chauffeur for the time being? Me.” You’re not complaining, you’d do anything for your sister and her daughter, but Pero doesn’t understand just how thinly stretched you are sometimes. “I know all this shit already, backwards and forwards. Because guess what? Not only am I here every fucking weekend on time, but medieval studies was my minor in college. I’m doing this as a way to support my niece who is having the time of her life doing this, so she can get her mind off worrying about her mom, because she’s passionate about this and I want to foster that passion even if it means giving up my weekends to do this and having to deal with you and your grouchy ass; I’m doing this to give Tess some space while she heals so we’re not always on top of each other — it isn’t a big house. I don’t know what your problem is with me, or why you seem to want me to quit, but I’m not going to, so you can give up your little crusade against me. If Cassie stays, then so do I. My internal organs are currently in a death grip in this getup and will be for six weeks. If none of what I just told you  indicates that I’m taking this seriously I don’t know what else to tell you. And another thing; if I go, you’re down half your barmaids. So I’m actually doing Sarah and you a favour by not dropppng out, even when you make it so fucking tempting.” You fix Pero’s hard glare with one of your own, refusing to break eye contact. You mean business, refusing to be cowed by this man. If he doesn’t respect you, you’re going to damn well make him.

Pero’s eyes flare and he holds your gaze for a long minute in a staring contest, a game of  chicken, both of you unwilling to be the first one to flinch. Eventually, though, after a long minute of staring at each other, his jaw set and his brow furrowed, Pero is the first one to look away; your diatribe seems to have set in and his face softens, softer than you’ve ever seen it before and likely softer than you’ll see it again. 

“Family is important,” he murmurs, his voice softer than you’ve ever heard it before, softer than you’ll likely hear it again. He has a faraway look on his face for a second before he remembers where he is. “It’s fine; you’re fine,” he says. It isn’t quite the ringing approval that you were half-expecting, but from Pero it’s practically high praise. And then he says the second most shocking thing all day. “I’m sorry.” 

Wait, what? You blink, not quite believing your ears. Surely you’ve stepped into Wonderland if you’re hearing Pero Tovar apologize. “What?” you sputter. 

Pero sighs, his jaw setting again. This is clearly a difficult topic of discussion for Pero. “This time of year is hard for me. Especially this year because…” He sighs again, changing his mind. “It doesn’t matter. But it is not fair that I have been taking it out on you.”

“No, it isn’t fair,” you can’t help but say, almost reproachfully. “But I appreciate you saying it. Thank you.” 

He gives you one last lingering look, a look you can’t quite put your finger on, and then he lets you go in a shared baffled silence. Sarah shoots you a questioning glance as you return to the auditorium, but you don’t say anything pertaining to your, quite frankly, bizarre interaction with Pero just now.

“Is he always like that?” you ask Sarah as she unlaces your dress enough for you to slip out of it, leaving you in your casual street clothes underneath; you neatly fold the bedsheet that is a dress and tuck it into your bag. “So uptight and intense?” 

Sarah shrugs. “He’s always been intense, but you seem to bring it out in him.” 

“Tovar just needs to get laid,” says a tall, burly guy coming up next to you. Dan, you think his name is. He’s playing Gideon, the lawman who is Tovar’s enemy in the context of the Faire. You snort at his assessment. “It’s true, the man’s practically been living like a monk for the past four years. And no, Daisy doesn’t count; they lasted all of five minutes,” he says when Sarah opens her mouth to protest. “He just needs to get laid,” he repeats, “might let out some of that pent up tension he’s got.”

Sarah pouts. “You guys need to be nicer to Pero,” she says, more to Dan than you. “You know it’s hard on him. He hasn’t been the same since William’s been gone.” 

You don’t know who this William is, or why he left, but whoever he is, he’s clearly important to the bunch of them. Though you fail to see what his leaving town has to do with anything.

“I promise, Pero will grow on you. Just give him time and get to know him and you’ll see, he’s just a big softie,” Sarah assures you again. 

You suppose you’re just going to have to take her word for it, even if Dan doesn’t seem to share her conviction. As you glance in Pero’s direction, you see that he’s chatting with a couple of other cast mates. You don’t know what troubles you more: the fact that he doesn’t deem you worthy to share his friendship with, or that it bothers you as much as it does.

 --- taglist in reblog

[imreaallyasorry]

RAAAAAAHHHH!!!

! WARNIING: AUTISTIC AND REALLY BAD AT MASKING!

^ sorry if I say anything weird tell me if so

Hi my name is swinging pendulum!!! This is my side blog where I post personal stuff/shitposts

This is my main blog now because I had another account for the other one but my partner hijacked it es em ache

Platonic stuff only!!! Like “cute pie alert!!!” But platonically you know

I’m super bad at reading tone/catching social cues so tell me directly if I’ve accidentally made you uncomfortable I treat everyone like my best friends so I accidentally make a lot of people uneasy with that it’s not intentional!! I love you guys!!! Anything “mean” I accidentally say is 100% intended as a joke and not meant to be mean again please tell me directly if I do anything wrong (will most likely be labelled as /j unless I forget and it’s like 3 am)

Ummm that’s about it I like marvel comics Thor and Loki but I have my own versions in my head that have differentiated so far from the actual canon that you probably won’t even recognize them maybe I’ll draw the actual canon designs one day but today is not that day

I DO NOT SHIP THORKI NOR ANY OTHER INCEST, PEDOPHILIA, ZOOPHILE SHIP!!!

^ sorry it makes me uncomfortable

Sometimes I’ll randomly draw something from your page don’t be alarmed

I tag all my reblogs with #reblog unless it’s something important or I’m too lazy to tag it as such

I tag my art as #art (obviously)

Andddd I use the tags #marvel Loki in general to tag Loki as well as other characters!!! (Ex: marvel Thor in general) as to not be confused with actual myth characters and a actual specific canon

If I don’t that means I’m drawing a different variant of that character specifically!!!!

The tag basically means that it’s my personal view and take on the character that might differentiate from canon depending on my view of the character and it’s not one specific canon and it’s a bunch of different canons and lore tidbits all smashed into one character!!!

Sometimes I draw other stuff but don’t count on it

I have no clue on how to format posts sorry I’m learning

Bye!!! :D

(Like if you’ve seen this please)

((Also I do free art requests serious or silly just put the request in my goofy little ask box))

[messyhairdiaz]

@fireh0es you deleted your reblog of my post before I could post my response and maybe that should be my sign to just let it go but the thing about me is when something pisses me off I’m not so good at letting it go so

If you think my post felt pointed at you for making posts calling out Edy’s transphobia I can guarantee you it wasn’t because first of all, I don’t know you nor have I seen your posts, and second of all, before you decided to rant on my post you could’ve taken the two seconds to investigate and see that the very first reblog of this post was my own, clarifying that the post is not about the Edy’s transphobia. Seems like something you would’ve wanted to do before making as many assumptions as you’ve made, so let’s address those.

Bold of you to assume I’m not part of any group that’s targeted for hateful rhetoric, because I very much am, and am also capable of feeling empathy for the groups I’m not a part of. Novel concept, I guess.

Also your whole argument seems to mostly hinge on the idea that my post is saying we shouldn’t call celebrities out for harmful things, which is not what I said. My post is pointing out how much easier it is for a lot of people to call out someone they don’t know for something they would overlook in someone they know. Maybe that’s not something you feel is true for you, ok, fine, this post is not for you, move along. There are a lot of people it is true for, and I hate to be the one to break it to you, but not all of those people are white, middle class suburb kids. Which, sidebar, was that directed at me? Because, well, I guess you got the white part right. But then, we’ve already established that your reblog was full of assumptions, so.

Honestly, I’ve been trying to be nice in the response but the more I reread your comments in order to formulate my response the angrier I get. I’m sorry that you’ve had such shitty stuff happen to you. That really really sucks, and it’s not ok. What’s also not ok is the way you must think you and the people you care about must be the only ones to have ever experienced such hardships. “Because there are people out there that have to face the consequences of unchecked bigotry.” What on earth would possess you to say this unless you think that just by the nature of the post I made I must have never faced bigotry before in my life.

I don’t even care if you agree with my post. I could not possibly care less about that. I’m just literally shaking with anger with the way you have managed to so easily dismissed me and my experiences. And I guess, the experiences of anyone who has reblogged this post and agreed with it by association.

[elithilanor]

For the writing asks, I'd love to know:

✨ and 💝

✨What’s a fic you’ve posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)

Fics I wish for more credit are any of my Rúmil stuff - poor elf gets like nooo traction AT ALL. And also anything I’ve specifically written gender neutral as an x reader with an elf gets no traction, as well.

Like with Rúmil I think (I hope) that its just that he’s a side of a side character so there’s not much material to work with but also no one is really looking for him at all. (Maybe I also wrote him badly, but I don’t think that badly lmfao)

And with the gender neutral, I think it’s partially that less people are into that (whereas I think it should be the standard unless a specific request is made). As a gender neutral person though, I just think it’s better because you a) reach a larger audience, but also b) genderqueer people can actually be seen and represented.

I’ve also noticed the trend that non-smut gets waaaaaay less traction than the porny stuff does.

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

I was completely blown away with the likes and reblogs of my Elvish Sensory Overwhlem Series?? Like!? So many people like it and I get a lot of comments and requests to make more of it. I thought I was genuinely just making it for me and that it would be super niche. But I guess I also forget how many neurodivergent and anxious people (besides me) who are in fandom lol

[theslowesthnery]

alright, let me show you guys some perfectly Normal and Moral people from one (!) of the callout posts about me

may i remind you, this is all over some damn drawings of a baby minotaur drawing with chalk

above, people who are really telling on themselves by seeing something uncomfortable and suspicious in art that is just...not

you know what the “context” of the art is? sometimes i think “hmm, i wonder what my fave character looked like as a child? omg i wanna draw that”. i did it when i was in the naruto fandom, and i did it when i was in the undertale fandom. and especially in the case of asterius whose life was Fucking Garbage and who never had a chance at a good, happy life, i wanted to imagine what his childhood might’ve been like, if maybe he had at least some happy childhood moments, if maybe there was someone who loved him before it all went to shit (and also since he’s so big, i thought the idea of him having been a tiny babbu was fuckin’ adorable). also, kids put stuff in their mouth, animals put stuff in their mouth, so i figured a human/animal hybrid baby would try to taste stuff they’re unfamiliar with even more so. there’s your “gross” and “horrible” context. and you’re seeing sexualization in that. that’s literally all you, all in your own brains. your minds are so hopelessly fucking warped that it would be sad if you weren’t insistent on treating other people like shit because *you* saw something sexual in an entirely sfw, non-sexual, pure and wholesome drawings of a child doing child things

as someone with no interest in children, fictional or real, i find it  immensely concerning that your mind jumps into imagining child rape with such ease, requiring literally no prompting. that is creepier and more concerning than anything i could ever draw

the usual from the Normal and Moral crowd

god do you guys have any idea what it’s like for someone with very bad self-esteem problems to see people who hate their guts and want them dead go “noooo why is their art so good”

pictured, me rolling in this validation like

“pedophilic ships”?? mf where? words just don’t mean anything to you guys anymore, do they

also cute hadesgame-related user name! thanatos and zagreus are adopted brothers, achilles and patroclus are cousins, and hades married his cousin’s daughter! you’re supporting a game with incest in it, based on greek myths that have even more incest in them!

here’s your award for the dumbest goddamn take i have legit ever seen 🏆

huh, here i thought it was about protecting minors 🤔🤔🤔 (just kidding, i’ve never seen a single anti say deny that it’s about the harassment)

now why wouldn’t i want people like the previous person or the people a couple of screenshots up who are wishing for my death or the anon telling me that *checks notes* they hope my firstborn is raped and has their genitals sliced off interacting with me 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔 certainly seems sus

there’s a pandemic and some people are disabled, karen

imagine seeing a drawing made by someone who you think is a pedophile and going “i’m gonna trace and repost that :)” head empty, no values or morals, only thirst for clout

i haven’t drawn porn in like. two or three whole years

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN AND EVERYONE ELSE, IT’S TIME FOR SUS CHALK

hey, a familiar face! thing is, i never said i don’t want to incest shippers to interact me, what i said was that i don’t want my non-incest drawings of siblings be tagged as incest, because A) it makes me super uncomfortable, and B) it leads to people like *gestures to the entire post* to send me death threats for being a disgusting fontcest shipper when all i drew was brotherly pictures of skelebros. idgaf what people ship lmao, i just don’t want my art tagged incorrectly and to be harassed because of it. also i’ve been open and vocal about being proship for literal years

“oh i know them, they shipped [ship i have literally never shipped and  which i am uncomfortable enough with to blacklist]” yeah you sure know me lmao

oh no, not an A-A-A-ADULT 😱😱😱 guess who else is an adult? toby fox, and everyone who worked on not only undertale but every single piece of entertainment you’re consuming. this site? made by adults. the internet? made by adults. the person who created that callout post? adult. and so will you be, too, and there’s not a goddamn thing you can do about it

awww hell yeah, i officially have a Proship Artstyle™ that makes antis uncomfortable 🤘

i have no idea what this person is trying to say ngl. is...being thirsty for asterius (have you seen him?) and liking theseus bad and cause of suspicion now? well shit, i have some very bad news for A LOT of people in the hades fandom

do you guys like...not understand the difference between children and adults? just because an adult is romantically or sexually interested in another adult does not mean they would fuck the child version of that person. if a person sees a photo of their crush or significant other as a child and goes “aw, cute”, does that make them a pedophile in your book?

i was here first, bud, you leave if you hate it here so much

i don’t even want to know what’s going on in the reblogs of that post. all this over a drawing of a baby minotaur playing with chalk

remember when being a pedophile required a sexual attraction to children? not anymore, these days pedophile is literally just anything and anyone you don’t like, and you don’t need any evidence to call people that! the more you know!

mmmm look at alllll that delicious ageism. i’ll never stop being amused by kids who think repeating information about myself i’ve freely chosen to display on my very public bio is some kinda “gotcha”. newsflash, buttercups - you too will be 30 and over one day. you’re not immune to aging, but sure, keep shitting in the pool you’ll eventually all be swimming. unless, of course, you’ve already decided to be absolutely miserable and joyless once you hit 30, to which all i can say is “couldn’t be me 💅“

also if you hate people over 30 so much, put your money where your mouths are and stop consuming content made by people over thirty. and i don’t mean just fan content, i mean everything: music, movies, comics, video games, cartoons, everything that was made by those gross 30+ year olds. create your own content, your own sites (ao3 is explicitly anti-censorship and anti-harassment, in other words pro-shipping and pro-fiction, so you guys better not be reading or posting any fics there), your own shows and games, see how that works out

[baepsaesbae]

Masked Windfall

Pairing— Park Jimin x reader x Jeon Jungkook

Genre— SMUT, strangers to lovers au

Warnings— Switch!Jimin, Dom!Jungkook, Switch!reader, threesome, explicit unprotected and somewhat rough sex (stay safe my friends), double penetration (but like a bj and in your business at the same time? I’m bad with terminology I’m sorry), brief handjob, fingering, multiple orgasms, a booty slap, praise kink, slight derogatory kink, brief guy on guy action, nipple play, hair pulling, lots of kissing, teasing, swearing, PHEW I think that’s all? Please let me know if I forgot something

Word Count— 6k                                                                                         

Win(d)fôl: a piece of unexpected good fortune || After a bad breakup, you’ve given up on the prospect of a relationship, and on romance in general. Things take a turn once you get dragged to a mysterious party an encounter an alluring stranger. 

A/N— Happy 2021~ I hope you guys enjoy this sinful fic! This was the first fic I ever wrote a threesome scene for and I was quite happy with how it turned out. Reviews and reblogs are greatly appreciated <3

Ever since your breakup, it was as if love was in the air for everyone but you. Seeing happy couples everywhere served as a constant reminder of your bitter split with your longtime boyfriend. Your jerk ex-boyfriend dumped you right before the holiday season, even after you had planned to spend Christmas and New Years’ with him. Left dejected and inconsolable, you gave up on the idea of romance.

“You gotta stop moping around,” your friend, Chungha, tried to cheer you up.

Chungha was single too, but by choice. Boys (and girls) were constantly flinging themselves at her. She didn’t care for a relationship at this time, and would rather opt for meaningless one night stands.

“Come with me tonight!” she excitedly shoved a flyer in your face.

“Love is Out, Lust is In! An exciting one night event dedicated to adventurous singles who just want to have fun…” you read the flyer aloud, “Yeah, I don’t know about that.”

“Girl, you gotta stop feeling sorry for yourself! It’s not your fault that that idiot dumped you. To be honest, I always thought you could do so much better,” Chungha rubbed your back, “I’m not gonna force you to meet anyone new, but one night out can’t hurt. You might even have a serendipitous encounter!”

“Fine, I’ll go. But just to watch over you, I don’t want some creep to follow you around all night,” you caved in.

“I love my little knight in shining armor! This’ll be so fun,” she excitedly clung onto your arm, “I’ll pick you up tonight. Wear something sexy! I think the motif is black? Something appropriate for an anti-lovey dovey stuff.”

It was nearly time for Chungha to pick you up. You concluded that dressing up for the first time in ages was the right move. Maybe it was about damn time to move on from your past.

“Ohhh girl you look amazing!” Chungha praised as you stepped outside, “There’s no way you WON’T be getting dicked down tonight.”

“Oh hush, before I change my mind. I haven’t worn anything this revealing in forever,” you tried to hide your embarrassment.

You were wearing a black mesh top that revealed your bra (the one that makes your boobs look the best of course) paired with a flattering skirt. You felt sexy, but you didn’t have the confidence that you used to. Chungha also looked amazing, but that was a given.

“Where did you learn about this event?” you asked as she drove.

“My friends in the cabaret club told me about it,” she answered.

“You have friends who work in a cabaret club? That’s cool,” you mused as you gazed out the window.

“Not exactly. It’s just called that; it’s really just a group of girls who like to brunch on the weekends. The place we’re going to is known for being a bit secretive,” she smiled.

“What does that mean?” you start to get anxious.

“You’ll see!” she said gleefully.

The venue looked more like some millionaire’s mansion. The property was stowed away at the end of a sketchy road that was more akin to a beaten up dirt path. However, you saw that the lot in front of the house was littered with fancy cars; from G Wagons to Bugattis. The guests emerging from the vehicles all looked like celebrities.

“Where the hell are we?” you asked Chungha.

“Not quite sure, but I can’t wait to find out,” she was also awestruck.

Upon arrival, a gentleman stationed at the entrance requested for your invitation. Chungha pulled out a fancy envelope and casually handed it to him. It looked far more formal than the flyer she showed you earlier.

“Is this your plus one?” he gruffly asked.

“Yep,” Chungha linked her arm in yours.

“Very well. Here are your masks. Enjoy your stay,” he responded curtly.

“Masks? Chungha, seriously. Where the hell are we? I was picturing some dingy club based off of the flyer you showed me. Not to mention that I am drastically underdressed,” you admitted as you helped her put on her mask.

Chungha took the sparkly white mask that was adorned with feathers, which was fitting since it made her look even more angelic. Your mask was matte black accented with gold trimmings. It was far more elegant than the outfit you were wearing.

“Okay, I confess. I made the flyer. I knew you’d decline if I told you it was actually a swanky invite only shindig. I’m sorry for lying! I just really wanted to take you out,” she pouted.

Her puppy dog eyes worked on you every time.

“I forgive you. I don’t know if I’d ever get to experience something like this without you anyway,” you pulled her in for a hug.

“Aw yay! Alright, we’re gonna have a bunch of fun tonight! Also, you look hot. Don’t worry about what you look like. Plus, I have a feeling that people aren’t gonna care,” she says as soon as you both enter the foyer.

Your jaw dropped as soon as you saw the most sumptuous house imaginable. The foyer opened the house up to two grand staircases. The baroque decor screamed nothing but lavish expectations for the rest of the house. Chungha led the way into the large room past the staircases. The room was even more magnificent than the entrance, with white marble pillars creating the doorways.

The place was bustling with activity. Once you finished admiring the place, your attention turned to the guests. Some women were wearing seductive gowns, while others were only wearing beautiful (and probably extremely expensive) lingerie. All of the men were wearing suits or tuxedos. With the motley of outfits you observed, you figured what you were wearing really wasn’t that strange.

“Drinks ladies?” a waitress materialized from thin air.

“Yes please! Thanks,” Chungha quickly grabbed two glasses.

Your eyes widened as the waitress walked away. She was wearing a thin white sheet that was completely see through, and she wasn’t wearing anything underneath.

You realized that this must have been their uniform, as the rest of the servers were dressed the same way. Both males and females.

“CHUNGHA!” a shrill voice cut through the air.

“Ah hey! Thank you so much for inviting me!” Chungha greeted the girl who called out to her.

“Of course! I live for these parties! I’ve never seen hotter men anywhere else,” the girl winked, “My uncle wants the guests to know that all of the servers are available. All the rooms upstairs are unlocked, unless they’re being used of course. I hope you ladies get a good catch tonight!” the girl quickly hugged both of you before scampering away.

“The servers are all available…? For what?” you shot a confused look to Chungha.

“I think you can figure that out,” she smiled sheepishly.

“Chungha, did you invite me to a freaking orgy!?” you cried out.

“You said you wanted to watch over me!” she playfully argued, “You’re already here, ___. You might as well try to enjoy yourself.”

“I guess I’ll settle for people watching,” you sighed.

“Oh! I see someone I know, I’ll be right back,” Chungha squeezed your arm before disappearing into the crowd.

After snatching another drink from a scandalously clad waiter, you retreated to an empty corner. You hoped to observe the guests unnoticed and unbothered. After about half an hour, you noticed an odd pattern. People would woo their target, disappear for a bit, and then return to continue the hunt. Their clothing was often disheveled once they resurfaced, but it didn’t really matter when they were bound to be torn off again.

“Bored?” an unfamiliar voice asked.

“I’m thoroughly entertained,” you answered without taking your eyes off of the party.

“I think I could bring you more entertainment,” the man suggested as he gripped your hips.

“Get your hands off of me!” you push him off.

The assailant was an older man, at least 30 years older than you, and he seemed bewildered that you turned him down. His breath reeked of alcohol, and the dilation of his eyes alluded to his other indulgences of the night.

“I was promised that everyone at this party wanted to have some fun,” he angrily grasped your arm.

You cried out in pain. You were about to punch him in the face until someone else beat you to it. The man crumpled to the ground clutching his bloody nose.

“You little shit! I’ll find out who you are and ruin your life!” the man threatened.

“Mind your tone, worm. Or do I need to beat you senseless to remind you of your place?” your savior shot a baleful glare at the pathetic man who now cowered in fear.

“Are you okay?” your rescuer asked in a soft tone after the man was out of sight.

“Much better now, thank you. That guy was crazy. I’m ___,” you raised your hand for a handshake.

“I’m Jimin. Pleasure to meet you,” he delicately kissed your hand.

His intricate silver mask matched his hair. Even with his face half covered, you could tell that he was remarkably handsome. His dark suit made him look professional yet charming. You felt out of place standing beside him.

“Have you found a partner yet?” he asked bluntly.

“I’m not looking for one; I’m just here to take care of my friend. I don’t think I belong here,” you admitted.

“Why not? I know half of your face is hidden, but I’m willing to bet that you’re more gorgeous than half the people here. I like your style, it shows that you don’t really care for the norm,” Jimin gave you a thumbs up.

Even though it was meant as a compliment, it was off putting to know that you really did stick out like a sore thumb.

“Thanks,” you replied softly, “Have you found yours?”

“Nah, I hate big parties like this. Especially this one,” he shrugged.

“Then why are you here?” you figured that he’d have a line of women begging to sleep with him.

“Much like you, I’m watching over a friend. However, I have lost track of him. Where’s your friend?”

“I lost track of her too,” you laughed.

“If you don’t mind, could we go somewhere quieter? I’d love to get to know you better. Wait, not like that. I genuinely mean I’d like to have a conversation with you,” his flushed cheeks made him even cuter.

“Sure, lead the way, my noble hero,” you took his hand in yours.

It was a bold move, and you usually preferred to play it safe. Tonight was different. You’ll probably never see this guy again. Where’s the harm in flirting a little?

“Of course, my lady,” he played along.

He led you outside to the gardens. Fairy lights were strung up everywhere, giving the gardens an inviting aura. Tall shrubbery caught your eye. Jimin’s eyes followed your gaze.

“It’s a maze,” he said, observing your curiosity.

“This place has an actual labyrinth?” your eyes widened in disbelief.

“Wanna go explore it? I can’t guarantee you that we won’t get lost,” he offered.

“Yes please!” your eyes lit up.

Jimin couldn’t help but smile at your ebullience. How did someone so sweet end up in a twisted place like this?

“Can we take off these silly masks now? I hate wearing mine,” Jimin squeezed your hand.

“Sure, I don’t care. I apologize in advance if you go blind after seeing my face,” you jested.

You both took a moment to soak in each other’s true appearances. Jimin was more handsome than you could’ve dreamt. His individually delicate features attributed to an overall godly image that you had a hard time believing was real.

“Even more beautiful than I imagined,” Jimin acknowledged you with an approving smile, “Let’s ditch this stupid soiree,” he held out his arm for you.

Abandoning the masks on the ground, you practically dragged Jimin into the labyrinth. Corn mazes at Fall Festivals were fun, but this was the real deal. The hedges were at least 3 meters tall. No one would be able to find you if you actually got lost here.

“I think I heard that the trick is to keep to the right wall,” Jimin explained.

“Why don’t we take turns choosing which way to go? Unless you’re scared of getting lost,” you teased.

“Don’t get mad at me when we’ve been stuck in here for days,” he laughed.

You traversed the maze hand in hand with Jimin. The conversation began to flow naturally. Jimin listened to you intently and replied thoughtfully.

The night darkened as the party was left further behind. Normally, this eerie setting would frighten you, but your company made it bearable. Nothing but the moonlight lit your path now. You were too busy enjoying yourself to realize that you both were hopelessly lost.

“I hope you don’t mind me pointing out that this is the third dead end we’ve encountered in the past two minutes,” Jimin elucidated once you found yourselves staring at a green barrier yet again.

“Do you think someone will come to rescue us?” you started to panic.

“Definitely not tonight. Probably not tomorrow either,” Jimin answered brusquely.

“Let’s retrace our steps again. I might end up eating you if we really do get stuck out here,” you tried to joke.

“Eat me?” Jimin chuckled, “My dear, what if I end up eating you?”

“Sorry pretty boy, but I feel like I could easily beat your ass in hand to hand combat,” you laugh as you turn to leave.

Suddenly, your back was being pinned against a hedge. Jimin placed one of his hands on your shoulder and the other one on your waist.

“Let me rephrase that. What if I end up eating you out?” he raised an eyebrow suggestively.

“I might enjoy that. However,” you quickly hook your leg around his knee to dead leg him.

Jimin’s surprise gave you the opportunity to knock him to the ground. You wrapped your right arm around his left arm, effectively pinning him down. You firmly gripped his left wrist with the same arm, rendering both of his arms useless.

“I don’t think you’re capable of doing that right now,” you fake a pout as your free hand wanders from his chest down to his crotch.

He was already somewhat hard when you began to palm him through his pants. You planted a soft kiss on his neck, sucking slightly before breaking contact. Jimin moaned at the sensation, his hips bucking up into your hand.

“What do you want, pretty boy?” you whispered in his ear as you cupped his length in your hand.

“Oh my god I want to fuck you,” he pleaded.

“You’re in no position to fuck anyone,” you reminded him, tightening your grip on his arms.

“I want you to fuck me, ___,” Jimin’s whines grew desperate.

“Is that so?” you say as you unzip his pants, “Here outside? On the ground? That’s a bit improper for a prince like you, don’t you think?”

His erection was fully exposed now. You slowly pumped him, pleased with his length. It took every bit of self-control to not immediately pounce on his dick. You traced your thumb around the soft tip, causing him to moan again.

“I don’t care. I just need my cock buried in you,” Jimin replied between moans.

“You’re so needy. I guess I could help you out,” you release him from your clutches.

Jimin instantly knocked you onto your back as soon as he was freed. He pinned you the same way you pinned him. You were both impressed and shocked that he learned how to do it already.

“That was a cheeky display. Very hot. I admit that I’ve never begged for pussy before, so props to you,” Jimin awarded you plaudits.

His free hand snaked its way down to your clothed pussy, pleased to find that you were already wet. He toyed with your clit through the fabric of your panties. He relished watching your squirm beneath him.

“It’s not so fun being pinned down, huh?” he kissed your neck in a similar fashion, except he ended his kiss with forceful suckling that was sure to leave a mark.

“I don’t know, it’s kind of fun,” you tried to keep your cool, but were failing miserably.

“Do you want me to touch you, my dear ___?” Jimin asked sweetly.

“Please do,” you exhaled with exasperation.

“You can beg better than that,” he admonished.

“Jimin, fuck me until I forget my own name,” you begged.

“You’ll only know my name by the end of tonight,” Jimin promised as he pulled your panties aside.

He slid in a finger to test how wet you were. You squealed with delight as he easily stuck in two fingers. He expertly curled them in you, grazing your g-spot. Your body tried to move to cope with the pleasure, but Jimin refused to let you go.

“You’re staying right here until I say so. I enjoyed going along with your power play, but you have to learn that I’m the one in charge,” he smirked.

His thumb circled your clit as he mercilessly fingered you. Your legs spasmed as your orgasm led a wave of euphoria across your body.

“Jimin, I’m--oh fuck, I’m cumming,” you cried out.

Jimin helped you ride it out, not slowing down his pace. However, he still didn’t slow down afterward. Your clit was oversensitive and tears began to well in your eyes.

“You’re beautiful when you cum, I want to see it again,” he praised as his pace quickened yet again.

It wasn’t long before your second orgasm hit. The bliss was more intense this time, causing you to cry out even louder. Jimin finally pulled his fingers out of you, then promptly popped them into his mouth.

“You taste like a delicacy,” he said after licking his lips, “You ready to take this cock?”

You nodded silently, as you were attempting to catch your breath.

Jimin aligned his hips with yours. He tantalizingly ran his dick along your wet folds. His tip eventually teased your entrance by barely entering before he took it out again. He loved watching your body beg to be fucked; your hips seemed to move by themselves as they tried to buck into him.

“Jimin, I can’t take this anymore. Stick it in already!” you yelled.

“So impatient,” Jimin chuckled, “Ready?”

“Yes!”

Jimin slowly inserted himself in you. You groaned at the feeling of finally being stretched out by his cock. His tip was fully inside you when a commotion interrupted him.

“We’re fucking lost bro,” a guy said.

“We wouldn’t be in this mess if you listened to me in the first place!” his companion retorted.

Jimin immediately pulled out and helped you up. He shoved his erection into his pants before leaning against a hedge to blend into the shadow.

“You’re the one who said you wanted to go in!” the first man bickered back.

“I said ‘I bet no one else is in there, let’s check it out’”, his companion explained.

“Okay, well now we’re lost. We haven’t even seen a single person since we’ve entered.”

Jimin took you by the hand and quietly led you out of the dead end. He didn’t know where the interrupters were, but he simply went in the opposite direction of their voices.

“We’re all alone now. Pull down your pants, Hobi,” you heard one of the guys say.

“Make me, Yoongi,” the other guy challenged.

“You won’t be so cheeky when my balls are in your mouth,” Yoongi replied, his voice suddenly lower and domineering.

The sound of clothes being ripped off mixed with passionate groans and wet noises grew further away as Jimin navigated through the maze.

“They sound like they’re having fun,” you broke the silence.

“That should have been us,” Jimin was obviously annoyed, “I’m gonna get us the fuck out of this goddamn maze. I swear to god, I’m going to dick you down properly tonight.”

You didn’t know which was more impressive: sheer luck or Jimin’s determination. Either way, one of those things (or maybe some of both) allowed both of you to finally emerge from the maze’s clutches.

Jimin dragged you back to the mansion while completely ignoring everyone who called out to him. You’re not surprised by his popularity; this man looks like he was carved by God himself.

The party had only escalated inside the mansion. Guests had started to forgo public decency altogether. You saw at least three explicit acts of fornication on your way up to the private rooms.

Once upstairs, you heard nothing but people deep in the throes of passion on the other side of just about every door. Jimin led you past them all, not even stopping in front of the ones indicated as ‘vacant’. At the end of the neverending hall was a large ornate wooden door. Its style clashed with the sleek marble that decorated the rest of the mansion.

Jimin whipped out a key from his pocket and unlocked the door. You weren’t prepared for what was on the other side. Unlike the modern style that fitted the rest of the house, this room was decorated with wood.

The carved wooden furniture gleamed brightly due to their polish. The room itself was huge. A king sized bed awaited you at the opposite wall. Elegant curtains draped around the bed, reminding you of the beds royalty would use in movies. Even though the room gave off a cozy aura, it still boasted opulence.

“You like it?” Jimin asked once he saw you gazing around the room in awe.

“It’s beautiful. It feels like I’m in some Elvish Woodland King’s room or something,” you spoke honestly.

“That’s high praise,” he chuckled, “C’mon. I believe we have some unfinished business,” he pulled you onto the bed.

Jimin kissed your neck, peppering in nibbles that made you shudder. You slipped off your skirt and panties as he fondled your breasts. You helped him undress as you threw off his suit jacket and unbuttoned his shirt. You held back a gasp when his abs and toned chest were revealed. You figured he was fit, but you didn’t realize how fit.

His fingers found their way back into your pussy. Jimin sucked on your neck as his nimble fingers made you wetter by the second. Your back arched as your moaned in pleasure when his thumb played with your clit.

“I’m so fucking wet, Jimin,” you breathed into his ear.

“All for me, baby?” he cooed.

“Who else? Honestly, I’ve never been this aroused in my life,” you admitted.

“I’m happy I could change that for you. If you liked my fingers that much, let’s see what my cock can do for you,” he winked as he tugged off his pants.

Jimin spread your legs open as far as they could go. He didn’t have the patience to tease you this time. He filled your pussy up with the entirety of his cock. You relished the stretch; you’ve been waiting all night for this the moment you laid eyes on him.

Jimin began vigorously thrusting into you. The sound of his hips slamming into you coupled with the wet noises of your sopping pussy were drowned out by moans from both parties. Hearing Jimin’s grunts only turned you on more, and the same could be said whenever Jimin heard your melodic moans.

Jimin leaned over to makeout with you, his tongue dipping between your parted lips. You clawed at his back while you kissed him back with ferocious reciprocity. You were getting close to climaxing yet again.

“Jimin, I’m so--”

“Missionary? I know you can do better than that,” an unfamiliar voice interrupted you.

“Fuck off, can’t you see that I’m busy?” Jimin replied angrily, yet he never stopped fucking you.

You were so embarrassed that you grabbed a pillow to hide your face. One person seeing you like this was already flustering enough, but two? Although your mind immediately went to shaming you for being in such a compromising position, it was also kind of a turn on.

“Aw, is she shy? That’s cute,” the unfamiliar boy said.

“What do you want?” Jimin finally pulled out to actually hold a conversation with the intruder.

“I got bored. I figured I’d come in here and jack off or something. I didn’t think you’d be using it,” the voice got closer.

“Well, I am. So get lost,” Jimin growled.

Suddenly, the pillow that covered your face was yanked off. Looking down at you was a man whose beauty rivaled Jimin’s (though you didn’t think that was possible). The man had more of a boyish devil-may-care look. His long dark hair framed his face perfectly, as it showed off his sharp jawline. He traced a finger from your cheek down to your chin.

“She’s cute,” he gave Jimin an approving nod.

“Yeah, and she’s mine. Go away, Jungkook,” Jimin was getting more frustrated by the second.

“Yours? Are you guys dating already?” Jungkook raised his eyebrows in amusement.

“No, but--”

“Then it should be fine if I did this,” Jungkook cupped your face with one hand as he bent down to kiss you.

“Jungkook!” Jimin threw a pillow at him.

Jungkook chuckled as the pillow harmlessly bounced off of him. He deepened the kiss, and soon your tongues were swirling over each other. One of his hands wandered over to your breasts. He pinched your nipple, causing you to gasp into his mouth.

“Oh, she’s so sensitive,” Jungkook smirked, “Let me play with her after you.”

“She’s not a toy,” Jimin defended you.

“It’s okay,” you said softly.

“What?” both of the boys asked in unison.

“You can both use me...however you like,” you looked away shyly, bewildered at what you had just said.

“Fuck, that’s hot,” Jungkook grinned.

“You’re too sweet for your own good, ___. Are you sure?” Jimin asked.

You simply nodded, not able to make eye contact with either of them.

“Alright, baby. Let me take care of you first. Jungkook, you can watch how a man properly fucks a lady,” Jimin glared at Jungkook.

Jungkook stripped down to his underwear as Jimin flipped you onto your knees. You moaned loudly as he started hitting it from the back. This position allowed him to penetrate you even deeper. You buried your face in the sheets in an attempt to muffle your whines.

“Nuh uh,” Jimin tsked as he grabbed a fistful of your hair.

He pulled your head up, exposing your lustful moans. He thrusted harder when he heard you. You opened your eyes to find Jungkook intently staring at you. Feeling cheeky, you made a ‘come here’ motion with one of your pointer fingers.

Jungkook happily obliged. Instead of directly kissing you, he licked up your neck, causing you to shudder. He sucked lightly on your neck as he once again played with your boobs.

“You’re not mad, Jimin?” he was surprised.

“She got wetter. Keep doing whatever you’re doing,” Jimin was lost in pure bliss.

Jungkook pulled you into another heated makeout session. You periodically moaned into his mouth whenever he tugged at your nipples. You whined as he broke the kiss.

“Such a good girl,” Jungkook stroked your cheek, “Wanna try something?” he asked.

You eagerly nodded. It was hard to think when one gorgeous man was making out with you and pinching your nipples, while another gorgeous man was roughly fucking you from behind.

“Open your mouth and stick your tongue out,” Jungkook ordered.

You complied, opening as wide as you could. You watched Jungkook reveal his hard cock, which made your mouth water. His dick was bigger than Jimin’s, but less girthy. It had a little curve that made it look prettier for some reason.

“Want me to put it in? I’d love to see how deep you can take it,” Jungkook stroked his cock.

“I’ll take it all,” you said confidently.

Jungkook smiled at your determination. He lightly placed the tip onto your tongue. You twirled your tongue around it, making Jungkook moan with surprise.

“Maybe she’s not as shy as I thought,” he said to Jimin.

Jimin harshly spanked your ass, causing you to jerk forward. You heard him chuckle behind you.

“I love it when good girls go bad. They’re always the most fun,” Jimin reached his hand around you to play with your clit.

You almost lost control in your arms and fell forward when Jungkook grabbed you.

“You have to be a good girl and hold yourself up. We can fuck you from both sides if you do that, babygirl,” Jungkook ran his thumb along your drooly lips.

You propped yourself back up on your arms and opened your mouth again for Jungkook. He patted your head in approval before placing his dick back onto your tongue. He began pushing himself into your mouth, his eyes never leaving yours.

“Blink twice if it’s too much,” Jungkook instructed.

To his surprise, you managed to take in his full length. You kept gagging since Jimin was thrusting you forward, but that just made it feel better for Jungkook. Jungkook let you know that he was going to start face fucking you, to which you nodded in response. Well, as much as you could nod while his penis was in your mouth.

It didn’t take long for both of the both to boys to fuck you in unison. They rhythmically pulled out and thrusted into you at the exact same time. The intensity of everything turned you on so much, you could feel your juices running down your legs.

Your climax hit you like a truck. Your legs spasmed under you as you cried and gagged on Jungkook’s dick. The feeling of you cumming on Jimin’s cock brought him to the edge. Almost immediately after, Jimin pulled out and came all over your ass.

“Switch places with me,” Jungkook instructed Jimin, “You didn’t think you were done yet, did you?” he winked at you before pulling his dick out of your mouth.

Your sensitivity was through the roof. Jungkook didn’t give you any warning before he inserted himself in you. Jungkook went even deeper than Jimin, and your legs were on the verge of giving out.

“It looks like she can’t hold herself anymore,” Jimin observed with a sly smile.

“I guess I have to do all the work. Stupid slut,” Jungkook groaned, abruptly snatching your arms.

He chuckled when you momentarily fell forward onto your face, but he easily lifted you back up by pulling back on your wrists. You’ve never been roughly restrained like that before, but you wouldn’t complain. Jungkook’s powerful thighs slammed into you repeatedly.

You couldn’t begin to comprehend how sinful you looked: titties bouncing, messy hair, and a lustful expression that rivaled that of succubi themselves. Not to mention you were practically glowing from the film of sweat that developed over the night.

“I’m jealous that he’s kissed you more than I have,” Jimin pouted before he cupped your face.

Wriggling underneath you, Jimin made it easier for you to kiss him. His pillowy lips felt heavenly as he playfully fondled your breasts. He didn’t twist or pinch your nipples like Jungkook did. Instead, he massaged them in a way that still felt delightful.

“Dude, your junk is really close to mine,” Jungkook complained.

“I don’t give a fuck,” Jimin responded between your kisses.

Jungkook’s pace started getting sloppy. You could tell he was close just by his irregular breaths. The room was filled with lewd sounds. Jungkook’s grunts, Jimin’s moans, and your mewls all blended into a chorus of carnal pleasure.

“Fuck, you’re so hot,” Jungkook stuttered before pulling out.

You felt his hot juices splatter across your backside. You toppled onto Jimin when Jungkook let go of your wrists. Jimin just chuckled and held you in a warm embrace.

“You did so well, ___,” he praised before kissing your forehead.

“Was that your first threesome? If so, I’m impressed,” Jungkook cleaned you up with a warm washcloth.

“Mhm,” was all you could muster up to answer his question.

“She’s pretty out of it. Should she stay here for the night?” Jimin asked Jungkook.

“You’re offering to house her? You must have really loved her pussy,” Jungkook laughed.

“Shut up, I’m being serious. I don’t want to let her go back out there to those animals,” Jimin disclosed.

“Did she come alone?” Jungkook sat at the foot of the bed.

“She said she was watching a friend...I don’t think she mentioned who though. Hey, ___, darling, who did you come with?” Jimin gently questioned.

“Chungha,” you said meekly.

“Holy shit. Everyone has been trying to get with her all night,” Jungkook was shocked, “Yeah, I think her friend will be fine on her own. I can watch after her if you want.”

“By watch you mean fuck?” Jimin rolled his eyes.

“Who’s to say I haven’t already?” Jungkook replied cheekily, “You’ve been the most fun I’ve had in a while though,” Jungkook affectionately began scratching your back.

Your eyelids were getting heavier with each passing moment. You instinctively clutched onto Jimin tighter. You’ve always been a cuddler when it was time to sleep.

“I’m gonna go, want me to lock the door?” you heard Jungkook say.

“Yes please. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Jimin sent him off.

“Are you sleepy?” he asked while stroking your hair.

“Mhm. And hungry,” you said half asleep.

“What would you like to eat?” Jimin inquired.

“Grilled cheese,” you said without skipping a beat.

“Just grilled cheese? I could get you anything you want. Lobster, caviar, takoyaki, or maybe even steak?” Jimin was eager to take care of you.

“What time is it?” you asked groggily.

“Uh, a little past 1am.”

“It’s time for a midnight snack. And grilled cheese is the perfect midnight snack,” you nodded your head to confirm your reasoning.

“God, you’re adorable. Alright, a grilled cheese will be here soon,” he kissed your forehead again.

“You go make it?” you pouted, not wanting him to leave your side.

“No, I just texted one of the chefs,” he answered.

“Oh, you’re friends with a chef? That’s nice.”

“Somewhat? They work for my father.”

“Is your father the head chef?”

“No, he’s a businessman,” Jimin chuckled.

“Do you like business? Like your father?”

“No, I actually detest it. My father’s riches mean nothing if he can’t even love his family. He does ridiculous things to showcase his ‘love’ but I don’t buy it. Like this stupid fucking party that he throws every year. His excuse is that he’s providing any luxury money can buy. It’s all just bullshit,” Jimin sounded upset.

“This party? Your dad hosted it?” intrigue stirred you from your sleepy state.

“Yeah, this is the house I grew up in. This is my room,” Jimin admitted.

You were silent for a bit before responding, “I’m sorry your dad is a dick.”

“Don’t worry about it, it’s not your fault. At least one good thing came out of tonight,” he squeezed you tighter.

A knock at the door interrupted your thoughts. Jimin retrieved the delivery. Never in a million years would you have thought that you’d be eating grilled cheese off of a silver platter. Jimin ate quietly beside you.

“I don’t know if this is too forward, but would you like to go on a date with me sometime?” he finally piped up.

“I literally can’t think of anyone that has seen me more intimately than you. Well, besides Jungkook. Of course, I’ll go on a date with you,” you leaned over to kiss Jimin’s nose.

“I guess the dating timeline is a little off since you’re spending the night here too,” Jimin laughed before stopping himself, “Wait, you are spending the night, right?”

“I have no idea where Chungha is, and she’s my ride,” you shrugged.

“You’re welcome to say here if you’d like,” he offered.

“I suppose I can clear my schedule for you,” you teased.

With a tummy full of grilled cheese, it didn’t take long for you to fall sound asleep in Jimin’s arms.

[9:24am from Chungha] BITCH! I heard rumors you slept with THE Park Jimin?! A different rumor said you slept with Jeon Jungkook??? Explain please???

[10:19am] What if I slept with both?

[10:20am from Chungha] NO WAY! Tell me all about it asap

“You good?” Jimin nuzzled your neck.

“Never better,” you smiled.

Published January 7, 2021. No editing, copying, translating, or reposting allowed. All Rights Reserved © 2020-2021 Baepsaesbae

[oleworm]

Don’t reblog

Re: that last reblog

It is annoying, but I wouldn’t blame it on the apps themselves but on people’s attitudes on how we interact with ideas. When you’re scrolling by a post every two seconds apps do accelerate this tendency but these attitudes existed and were popular before. I’m guilty of thinking that maybe I should not add a certain book to my Goodreads because people I barely know might get “the wrong idea,” or clarifying at the end of a post, “I have taken great joy from this book for these particular reasons, but of course I do not share the author’s views on what society should be.” It’s frustrating to feel like you have to self-censor because someone might think you agree with everything the author said for the mere fact of having read their book, and at the same time it feels necessary to preemptively defend yourself when you’ve seen people harassed for much less.

A bit of writing is good because it makes you think, because it facilitates communication between human beings, it bridges the distance between strangers, loved ones, ages, continents, points out relationships and contradictions you might otherwise not have noticed. In certain (especially online) spaces it is no longer regarded positively that a person should read a controversial author because they want to know what the fuss is about. Instead there is a feeling that one should ignore, condemn or make fun of the work without having read it, unless it is in fashion with the social group the reader would like to associate with. I personally find it redundant, redundant and reductive that a lot of people will look specifically for material within a book to use in the mock trial to declare it morally worthless. Though to clarify I think it’s great when people rip into books to have fun and not to feel righteous and holy. And it is true that some material is vile. A lot of it, in fact, incites hatred, and seemingly innocuous things if read without care can plant prejudicial ideas in people’s minds. There’s also a lot of stuff people claim to dislike just because everybody else tells them to, because someone they don’t like happens to like it. I say to you, Come on, you owe it to yourself! You owe it to yourself to hate something for your own reasons. Not because your mutual or someone on YouTube told you to.

There are two writers that I’d like to mention, Ayn Rand and Andrea Dworkin. How many people that dislike them have read their works, and how many condemn them solely for the politics of their readers? Reading a book does not mean that a person has to endorse the author’s views. I will ask you, Don’t you want to know what it says? And I will tell you, You’re allowed to disagree with the thesis of a book you’ve chosen. And there is nothing shameful about it. There is nothing wrong with you, trust me, if the author of the book you read turns out to be what you consider to be a bad person with bad ideas.

When I read Ayn Rand’s “Anthem,” instead of the libertarian manifest she intended it to be I found in it an artifact, a historical document about the worldview of a refugee from the Soviet Union. What she felt, how she saw this development in history, an analogue to a diary or memoir. In spite of my expectations (I vaguely remember other people dunking on her prose) I found it really enjoyable how much she drew from emotion--anger, hope, disappointment--despite a lot of libertarians being self-professed rationalists. Another reason I was interested was because somebody told me that her English writing takes a lot from the Russian, a language that for a long time I’ve been interested in learning, especially in terms of grammar and, as I later found, its rhythm. That libertarians from a whole other continent, a whole other era should interpret it differently is another topic. It makes a lot of sense. If they and I are different people, it is natural that we should have different conclusions about the same book.

The radical feminist Andrea Dworkin is, of course, regarded with wariness due to her popularity among the TERFs. Now, I have not read the bulk of her material, so maybe I am wrong about this and am open to corrections, but the times where I’ve seen her refer to transgender people it was in generally positive or theoretical terms: more people would have the freedom to explore their gender and would manifest different gender identities and presentations in a world that was less sexist, if I remember correctly. And instead of the TERF tenet of biological essentialism, what this person asserts is that it is society that can and must be changed. An idea that most people can agree upon, though how exactly is the subject of debate. There are way more objectionable ideas in her work regarding children and animals, for example, but nobody points it out because few have actually read it. Though her views are on the (ha) radical end, it can be a useful read for people that never questioned why certain things are so, many of which are still considered a regular part of life in mainstream 21st century societies. One last thing along this tangent. To be honest, it has been some time since I read it, but I did get the feeling that a lot of the things she said are nowadays commonly accepted by modern feminists. Did we make a boogeyman out of these books because transphobes decided that they own them? I don’t know. Maybe she wrote a book where she says something really horrible and I haven’t read it.

I kind of lost the thread here... Graphomania strikes again. Oh yeah... It’s not bad to read a book because you’re curious about what it says. Even if it’s a book nobody likes. (I’d say being curious about it should be one of the main reasons anyone should read a book.) Tell your friends about them, tell strangers about them. If someone is wrong about a book or has a different opinion about it that doesn’t mean they’re stupid and evil. Or that you’re stupid and evil. You’re just two different people. And you won’t have any fun and you won’t understand anything if you’re looking at what other people say so you can agree with them. If you know you’re easily influenced maybe don’t read reviews before you’ve read the actual book or watched the actual movie.

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[fallingforyou123]

Coffee and Drive-ins-A Cupcakes and Therapy Moment

A/N: Here's the next part, hope you guys enjoy it! Sorry it took so long but this weekend was hell, ended up in the hospital for a little bit, but I'm all good now! As always, likes are reblogs are appreciated.

Summary: A drive in, therapy, first kiss

Word Count: 1.6k (she's short)

Warnings: First kiss awkwardness

Masterlist

The morning air was crisp and cool, summer starting to turn into fall in a matter of days. The streets were deserted, the city still in the process of waking. Bucky was seated on the steps of his building with Alpine, sleep having never come last night. It had been a few days since that night in the bakery and he was still floating on a cloud of peace. The nightmares were still there, still plaguing his nights, but during the day he could drift off to a place where he was with you. You had seen each other every morning, Bucky stopping in for breakfast at the bakery before starting his day.

As the sun started to rise over the buildings, Bucky began to walk, his legs carrying him the familiar way to the bakery. When he gets there he greets the boy behind the counter, one of the college kids that you have in on busy days, and heads over to his usual table. He’s only sitting for a few minutes before you head over to him, his coffee and breakfast in hand.

“Good morning! I wish I could sit and eat with you today, but I've got pastries in the oven.”

You hand him his stuff, place a kiss on his cheek, and head back into the kitchen. Bucky chuckles as he watches you walk away, you’re always on the move. He sits and enjoys his coffee while reading the newspaper, making a mental note to compliment you on breakfast later. Bucky has become your unofficial taste-tester over the past few days, bringing him whatever new creation you’re working on, today was cranberry orange scones.

When he’s finished, Bucky cleans up his things, pops his head into the back to say goodbye, and heads out the door. The sun is fully out now, replacing the chill from this morning with nothing but a light breeze. It’s Sunday, which means he’s headed to another therapy session, but for some reason, the usual dread of going has lessened.

He arrives at the building exactly 10 minutes early, his usual time, and buzzes in. He nods his head in recognition towards the receptionist and walks into the office. It’s routine, it’s something he’s been doing for months now. He sits on the couch, ready to say no more than a few words, but the second his therapist asks him if anything new has happened, he starts rambling.

He tells her about finding you in the market, about the date, even his daily breakfasts, and she’s thrilled. “This is what we’ve been working towards for months, James. You don’t need to surround yourself with people you’ve hurt and feel miserable, you can let people in who make you feel good.”

Bucky goes silent at that, he knows it’s true, but the need to suffer the same as the people he’s hurt will always be there.

“Have you told her yet, about your past?”

His head snaps up, the thought having never crossed his mind. “No.”

“James, you can’t lie to her, she needs to know. She’ll find out eventually, whether you tell her or not. You’re not a ghost, not anymore, stop pretending you are.”

“Eventually, maybe. I just met her, I can’t lose her once she knows what I’ve done.”

The good feeling he’d had earlier slowly turns into annoyance. He glances at the clock, ready to leave, willing time to move faster. His therapist sighs, takes her glasses off and places them on the table beside her, and looks at Bucky. “You can’t stay closed off forever. There is a darkness inside you that won’t go away unless you let someone in, stop fighting the people who care about you.”

***

It’s mid-evening when Bucky picks up his phone and calls you. He’s been thinking all day, his mind refusing to stop running. He needs to do something to distract himself, but more importantly, he needs to see you. It’s been months since he’s used his car, it’s been parked in the building's garage gathering dust, but tonight he needs it. He pulls up outside of the bakery and you’re already waiting for him. Ever the gentleman, he gets out and helps you into the car and then you’re off.

“Gonna tell me where we’re going, or am I going to have to assume you’re kidnapping me?”

Bucky chuckles and looks at you, “No, doll, I’m not kidnapping you. But I’m not telling you where we’re going, you’ll see when we get there.”

You sigh dramatically, and then chuckle, leaning back in your seat. You drive in silence for a few minutes before your curiosity gets the better of you and you begin pestering Bucky with questions. “Are we going for food?”

“Maybe.”

“Mini-golf?”

“No.”

“Running away to Canada for maple syrup?”

This earns a laugh from Bucky, “No, doll. We’re almost there though.”

You’re in Greenpoint now, right down by the water, the moon replacing the sun. Bucky pulls into a parking lot filled with other cars, a big screen sitting at the front. “What do you think y/n?”

You’ve never been to a drive in before, but you think this is the best one ever. There’s food trucks lining the sides of the lot, picnic tables and lounge chairs set up in front, and waiters walking around taking orders. “I’ve never been to one of these before.”

Bucky looks at you weirdly and you laugh, “What? I grew up in an apartment in Manhattan and lived in a rundown town in Europe, drive-ins weren’t that popular for me.”

“There used to be one in my neighborhood that would play every Friday night. I’d sneak Rebecca out, meet up with my friend Steve, and we’d come buy these big things of popcorn and sit ourselves in the grass for hours. It was one of the only things we had growing up.”

You grab Bucky's hand and give him a small smile, “That must’ve been really nice. I wish I’d had something like that growing up. Closest I got was watching my parents fight over dinner like it was a reality t.v. show.”

The both of you laugh, hands still intertwined and a warm feeling falling over the both of you. “Well, I’d like to replace those memories with some better ones, if you want.”

“I’d like that a lot.”

It’s then that a man comes up to the window and Bucky turns to hand him the tickets, an order sheet getting passed back to him. You both check off what food you want, a couple of coffees, some popcorn and some candy, before handing it back to the man. “I hope you don’t mind what movie’s playing, Back to the Future Part II.”

“Who knew you were a sci-fi geek, Bucky.”

He rolls his eyes at you, “It was the only thing that I could still get tickets for. It was all last minute, I needed a distraction.”

“I get it. It’s been a long day for everyone.”

Sighing and nodding his head, Bucky reaches out and grabs your hand, rubbing the back of it with his thumb. A few minutes later your food arrives and the movie starts to play. The two of you sit and enjoy the movie, making small comments and laughing together, it was the perfect way to end both of your long days.

When the credits start to roll and other cars start pulling away, Bucky turns to you, noticing the hesitancy on your face, neither of you quite wanting the night to end. “Do you want to go get coffee? I’m sure we can find something still open.”

You nod your head and Bucky begins to pull out of the lot. You drive around for a little while, taking in the night scenery and enjoying the silence. Eventually you find a small cafe still open and head inside to order your coffees. After acquiring your drinks you head outside to walk around.

The fall air has begun to replace the warm summer, and nights have become cold. A small chill runs through you and you shiver, Bucky notices and takes off his jacket to place around your shoulders. “Thank you.”

“Can’t have you freezing to death on me.”

The two of you walk for what seems like hours, finding comfort in each other. You end up in a small park sitting on a bench, your head resting on Bucky’s shoulder and him with his arm wrapped around you. You turn your head to say something, only to find bucky already looking at you. There’s something in his eyes that you can’t name, and he reaches out to push a strand of hair behind your ear.

Slowly, ever so slowly, he leans in. A small brush of his lips against yours, so soft you can barely feel it, and it has your breath catching in your throat. You lean in again, this time with more urgency. You pull back only when you run out of breath, a small smile on your lips. “That was a nice way to end the evening.”

Bucky laughs, and it’s infectious. You’ve never fallen for someone so quickly, never felt so safe, but you can’t imagine not being with him. You sit there for a few more minutes, stealing quick kisses, before you decide it’s time to leave. Bucky drives you home and you spend a couple minutes kissing like teenagers in his car before you eventually get out of the car and head into your building. You don’t know what this is or where it’s going, but all you can think about as you get ready for bed is Bucky.

taglist: @posteyymaloney

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[gisellelx]

I've got to object HEARTILY to Esme being Jewish. Domestic abuse is anathema in Jewish culture (with the exception of *maybe* some very very fundamentalist sects), and it's canonical that her parents knew Charles was physically hurting her. I don't care what time period we're talking about, Esme's parents would have taken her home and she would have recourse to a divorce. That headcanon is not awesome, it's extremely culturally tone-deaf.

Oh you have decided to come into my inbox to talk about someone else's headcanon. Well, strap in, anon, this is going to be a semi-long post because there are four separate things this ask makes me want to talk about. tl;dr--this is interesting and useful, so why not direct this comment in a thoughtful manner at the OP? First, let's talk about headcanons. Headcanons are what in the trade are called backstory. They're the stuff that you, as the author, know about your character which may or may not end up on the page, but which should influence what does end up on the page. When you're talking to the writer of a source, there is a "right" and a "wrong" headcanon because the author actually does know what they had in mind (or at least, they should; I happen to think that is often not the case for Stephenie Meyer). But when it comes to fans reading between the lines, making up their own headcanons to guide their own engagement with characters? There's no such right and wrong. There're some things that are better supported or less supported, either by canon itself or by history/circumstance, of course. We can agree or disagree on them, or argue about why one makes more sense than another, but when it comes to it, we aren't the originators of the canon so unless they're running contradictory to the canon, they're not "wrong" per se. Second. Esme as Jewish. This is a piece of Twi Renaissance fanon with which I happen also to HEARTILY disagree. While I happen not to be Jewish and don't know this particular piece of information you've offered, anon, there are two big reasons why I think her being Jewish is a nonstarter: one, the Jewish population in Ohio was very small in 1911 and mostly in Cincinnati, which was the largest city at the time, not Columbus. It was also very insular--a Jewish family was not particularly likely to horse-and-buggy it to the city to see a doctor. I agree, the way Esme's parents behaved is much more consistent with Protestant, Calvinist Christianity, which would make a ton of sense for the middle of Ohio at the turn of the 20th century. I've never fully fleshed this one out in my head, but I'd be leaning toward Methodist. The second reason I disagree with it is that it strikes me as very unlikely that Carlisle would be open to marrying a Jewish woman. This is a rant suited for another day, but please never mistake my curiosity for Carlisle's character as a blanket condoning of everything he is and stands for. He's quite racist, which we see in canon, he's pretty misogynistic, and he doesn't experience much contrition for the ways his actions harm others. The religion he was raised in would've taught him to be derisive of Jewish people, and the circles he moved in thereafter would not have offered very many opportunities for him to change his mind. So I am starting from a base of assuming that Carlisle is pretty anti-Semitic. I think he probably woke up on this front around the Holocaust. These things are actually why I find him so compelling--he's pretty deeply prejudiced about a lot of things and it means he has great blind spots I can exploit as a writer. Okay, onto thing three. So why would I reblog something and tag it with my "awesome headcanons" tag when I don't agree with every single word? Because it's interesting and fun and sharing fan content makes the world go 'round. And consistent tags make it easier to navigate old content. But shouldn't I be really clear that I don't agree with that one part just be sure that no one mistakes it for my idea? Well, imagine if every headcanon or meta someone shared was followed by a bunch of reblogs of people going, "Well, actually I don't like this part even though I agree with most of these..." this place would stop being fun real quick. I lived through a time in this fandom when fic authors told their readers to go fuck themselves in their author's notes, when people created whole blogs and livejournal communities just to anonymously make fun of anyone whose fic was remotely popular, where it was seen as totally acceptable to drag people's

personal lives out in the open and mock them for whatever personal thing they mentioned having done in service of you know, just being human and talking about their lives.

That sort of constant fighting makes you not want to engage with other people. Most of us just took our balls and went home. So I'm not going to do that to another fan because I enjoy being a fan with other fans. This is also the same reason I don't spend a lot of time going "I know you all love calling Esme Jewish but I disagree because this this and this other this"...like, that's just not fun for anybody, even if I can support my position well. I will quietly hold my own headcanon over here and I'm going to not jump on somebody else about theirs.

But what if the thing somebody said actually could be unintentionally harmful? Am I telling you to just shut up about that? Part four: your very odd decision to anon into my inbox about headcanons from someone else. What you've offered here is really useful information, because as you point out, it suggests something negative about Jewish people (an already marginalized group) that isn't true and therefore is harmful. So here's a much more useful way to address that. Rather than going anon into the asks of a person who reblogged it, which doesn't get you anywhere, you could choose to either thoughtfully engage the OP, or you could reblog it yourself and say, "You know, this particular headcanon is actually problematic. You may not know this, but domestic violence is actually very frowned on in Jewish culture and it's very unlikely her parents would not have taken her back in. That they didn't suggests she's not Jewish. To suggest that she is Jewish would ascribe this untrue awful behavior to Jewish people which, given the extent to which Jewish people were and are still persecuted across the globe, is a thing you don't want to do, even unintentionally in good fun. So I just want to make you aware." The latter is probably the better option, in part because then you'll ascribe your own blog to the comment, and people can know it was your well-supported point. You'll then allow yourself room to let the OP rebut directly about why they followed that particular headcanon in the first place and what they think of your critique of it. But since it's not actually my headcanon, and one I don't actually hold, I'm afraid you've come to the wrong place. Thanks for the soapbox, though.

[zirkkun]

Maybe this is cheesy, but with all the praising on stream, I decided I wanted to just gush about my friends and people I look up to on here too. I’m gettin’ sappy and sobby at this hour and I just wanna go out on a high note.

(Started writing this at about the half hour mark before Unus Annus’s death, and now it’s like an hour later. Gosh I just don’t know when to shut up huh? lmao)

@zilthai37 - heya!♥ know you don’t follow Unus Annus stuff, so this will definitely be out of no where for you, but god. You’re too good of a person. I can go to you for literally anything and honestly I probably take it for granted. Something trivial, something serious, you’re always down to talk. I’ve never met another human being who’s so open with talking about things and so open to learn about other people and ideals. You’re honestly so great and so wonderful, man. I love talking to you and I just want you to know that you’re incredibly irreplaceable as a friend and a person.

@cheshiregrinnbuttoneyes - I think you’re the only friend of mine from high school that still talks to me consistently -- and that’s so wild, considering during high school we almost never had the chance to talk. God, you’re just so passionate about your works and you’re always working on your art, and your art is so cute and wonderful. You’re also one of the NICEST people in the world. I don’t know many people who would be willing to give away what they have to support someone else. I adore talking to you and I’m so glad I didn’t lose you, and I never want to, not prematurely.

@secretly-neurotic - heyo! i dunno if you’ve been watching Unus Annus at all, so this might be a little random, but I just really want to say that you’re such a great friend and such a great memelord to talk to. Your art is AMAZING and I’m so glad that you’ve had the chance to be able to spread it to more people recently. I should do a better job of reblogging it so even more people can see it, haha. I know you’ve been real busy with school stuff lately and honestly i just feel really proud seeing you work towards things that you’re really interested in doing, while memeing it along the way. Tell your dad good luck with his BOTW game, hope you get your Switch back eventually lmao

@thoughtfullytired - i think of all my irl friends on this list, i’ve know you the shortest amount of time, but that doesn’t mean you’re any less valuable to me than any of my other friends. You always work so hard to improve your art, and you’re always so amazing at being able to express your emotions into your artwork. I love talking to you about everything, whether it be our nerd stuffs or just regular stuffs. You’re also so incredibly kind to offer your help on Act to Flirt, completely unprompted, when I came to you just ranting about my inability to write music, haha. Hoping the best for you in school (and for your space ship!!) even though I haven’t seen you in a long while.♥

@sansismybitch - ah the name sticks out in this sappy list, but it’s still a very fitting name regardless lmao. you’re honestly a really great and really inspired person. your dedication and interest in supporting those whose works you like is honestly unparalleled. i love when i get asks and memey submissions from you, it brings a smile to my day! talking to you is just so wonderful, and i know a lot of people out there would agree. i just want you to know that you’re really a wonderful person, truly.

@alch3mic - we’ve not talked very long, and I know I definitely already wrote you an incredibly sappy message the other day lmao, but this write-off wouldn’t feel right without saying something to you, especially since the two of us have been watching this stream together (though separately!) You’re just so incredibly passionate with all your projects and I honestly really look up to you and what you do. I’m always so happy seeing when you post because everything you write or draw always brings a smile to my face. Keep doin’ what you do man♥

@teirrart - maybe we don’t really talk (unless it’s some intense thirsting over milo), but I still really adore the work that you do! i think you were one of the first couple of people i followed when joining the fandom and re-joining on Tumblr here, because I adored the buttons you had on your store and bought them IMMEDIATELY haha. It’s still kinda funny to me to realize I have a set of buttons with Ink and Lust made by you and you’ve got my charms of Ink and Lust too.. it’s like a trade in a way, but I’ve just never had it happen lol. Your work is so cute, your characters are wonderful, and your stories are so emotionally driven. I adore them and adore what you do.

@tatatale - god, I still think about the drawing you did with Lust, Insans, and Ace. It brings such a smile to my face and it makes me so happy. I never thought someone who’s artwork and comics I’ve been reading since they started and really admired would ever make something with the characters I’ve made. And you do collabs and fanarts of people’s others works a lot! It’s so incredible to see. This kind of fan interaction is honestly so precious and rare. I adore your comics, I adore your art style, and you’re just so kind.

@owl-bones - we’ve only talked a few times, usually passively talking about the development of our dating sims, haha, but honestly your artwork is amazing, and the work you put into what you do is amazing. sometimes I sit here, a bit jealous of just how good Bonely Hearts Club is, but it’s honestly some silly jealousy lol. You put in an incredible amount of heart and soul into every bit of that game, and it’s so clearly evident even in just the short demo we’ve had so far -- everyone can see that. You’re an incredibly talented person.

...and, well, although you two will probably never ever see this, I suppose I’ll take the chance and throw my voice to the wind anyhow lol:

@markiplier and @crankgameplays - jesus christ, I’ve been watching you two for so long now that i can’t even believe how long it’s been. i was literally barely in high school. it’s so funny to me how I literally had the thought of “Man, I wish Ethan and Mark did more collabs” when YouTube decided to recommend me the escape room video from Unus Annus, a channel that I had somehow MISSED entirely. (At that point, of course. I watched every video from then onward and the ones from the couple of weeks I’d missed). It’s just so wild to me to really think that... a lot of what you two have done have really shaped me today. People often talk down upon the idea of looking up to others because people can do things wrong in the future and then - oh no - now you’re suddenly regretting supporting them. But you two have never once given me that kind of vibe, and I don’t feel like I’ll ever get that from you two in the future. Your work ethics and dedication to what you do really inspires me. It’s gotten me to where I am. Unus Annus ironically made me want death less when I was at such a low point in my life, and made me realize the value of using the time I have been given. It just somehow clicked for me. So, if either of you ever do see this? Just - thanks.

Memento mori.

but also, memento vivire. Remember to live.

[solacefruit]

Hey! I just saw you rebloged a post about writers wanting readers to interact with their works, whether by leaving kudos or commenting, and I thought I could maybe say something about that? I love your work! And I have so far read everything you've posted. I often leave kudos on everything I like but I won't leave comments unless I see the author interacting with them, it feels kinda embarrassing leaving a comment and not getting something back, even if it's just a thanks. I haven't seen many authors that do this, but I know you do and I guess I just wanted to say that maybe I'm not the only one? I love your work! I'm just a bit embarrassed and not seeing you answer kinda makes me think I'm bothering you. You also don't tend to answer most question relating to your written fics in this blog, which is valid! But it does make it even more daunting to interact with you. I don't want you to feel like your fans don't love your work! It's great! You are probably the best wc fanfic writer I've ever seen and I've basically grown up in this Fandom the way I am thanks to your influence. I'm not sure what my point was anymore with this, anyway, I absolutely love your work and probably a lot of other people are just too shy to tell you! But we love you and are very happy that you provide such great content like this!

Hello there! Thank you so much for writing in. It means a lot.

I really really appreciate you letting me know this is how you feel, because I absolutely don’t want anyone feeling embarrassed or ignored for commenting on my work. I genuinely enjoy reading--and rereading!--everyone’s thoughts and I didn’t realise that it was so disheartening not to get a reply, so I’m sorry that that’s been your experience. 

From my perspective, I've always preferred leaving comments or compliments anonymously or in ways that don’t require or invite a reply when I don’t know someone personally, because I always feel weird about being thanked for thanking people, if that makes sense? But now you’ve said it I can completely understand where you’re coming from and I can see how silence could be interpreted as a negative reaction. 

I’ve also thought it would seem very rote and even more disappointing to only get a brief “thank you!” in response, since that seems so impersonal (?) and a lot of the time I don’t feel I have anything much interesting to say in reply to the comments I get, but if that’s not the case, then going forward I’m more than happy to try to reply to comments much more often.

I can’t promise that my replies will be all that timely, unfortunately, because I truthfully don’t have a lot of time available for fandom type stuff between work, life, and other commitments, but I’ll make a habit of checking more often and sending at least a nice thank you in reply when people take the time to comment so that everyone can be certain I’m the very opposite of bothered and in fact really love to see what everyone’s thinking and feeling. 

I’ve been very blessed so far with how warmly and enthusiastically people have responded to my stories, and I’m grateful to everyone who reads my work, and leaves a kudos, or comment, or bookmarks, or recommends it to a friend, or writes in to me here--and also the people who read but are too shy to talk! It’s okay with me if people feel better loving something I’ve written quietly without telling me about it, and I don’t want those people to feel like they’re doing anything wrong for being shy. 

Anyway tl;dr: thank you for telling me that not getting replies to comments is worse than getting brief ones! I’d really like for everyone’s experience of engaging with my work to be fun and positive, and if making sure I remember to reply is going to make leaving comments more enjoyable--or even just possible--for some of you, then I’ll start doing that. <3

[alicenpai]

ask: some thoughts on finding “style”

ANOTHER ANSWER THAT WAS TOO LONG FOR CURIOUS CAT, I’VE ETERNALIZED IT ON TUMBLR!

anon asked, “Hi I love the way you stylize characters! I constantly am experimenting with different drawing styles, I really want to find a style im happy with but I just cant seem to find something that sticks. Id like to know Is this a normal part of finding a style? did you experience something similar to get to your current style? sorry if these questions are kinda weird but thank you if you do answer!“

hi anon! I'm not sure I'm the right person to ask bc all of my work looks .. vastly different.. but thank you I'm trying to solidify my look a lil more and go through an upheaval this summer ^^;

edit oct 2021: i attached an image here to display all of the different “styles” i work in (and also for visual appeal, otherwise this post is 100% text)

if you came here looking for tips on how to draw characters in your style, while keeping likeness.. i’m sorry if i misinterpreted the question GDHDGJDFJDGJ maybe i will write on that another day if people are interested? apticho wrote some really good stuff here in the meantime ^^ (snippet above)

--- ---

// part 1: gathering inspiration

hi anon, that's totally normal! it's okay to go through a lot of different looks in your art, both in a short or long period of time. it’s also perfectly alright to be unsure and insecure about your art/style. some people know where they want to go from the get go, but be patient, and i know if youre a younger artist, it’s easy to be envious of others who seem to have a consistent look throughout their work. I know I did!! i still do!!

i’m going to be talking about my ideas about style and content below.

edit oct 2021: one of the easiest things that will help you build a style is to just gather inspiration material. that’s it! keep a separate insp/reblog tumblr blog, save images on your phone/computer (keep it organized in folders as much as possible! i know it can be hard haha...), make moodboards formore ambitious drawings. or just make moodboards for fun. do all of these things or only do 1, it doesn’t matter.

I like to archive all/most of the art that I like. I know pinterest is awful for many reasons, but more often than not I find some really good artists through there (and i follow them too!). I’m a messy person by nature, so I like the way you can organize content on there, esp with subfolders. I label folders like “character design, anime styles i like, cartoon/visdev styles i like, lighting, photos of faces, pose reference” etc. 

edit oct 2021: i also like to keep folders of the artists i like on my phone (easy access compared to computer..). consider what you like about their style. is it the way they draw eyes? the colour and light? their line weight? character interaction? dynamic poses? angst? all of these things combined come together to create a “style”.

// part 2: analyzing artists

both the LOOK and the CONTENT are important factors in one’s own style. someone else may draw using the same brushes etc like me, but unless they have the same personal values, you can tell who’s who. For example, they might draw more action-y poses, something im not good at. This is a bit controversial but whenever there are certain popular artists in certain circles, a lot of people may be inspired by them, and you can see a lot of the popular artist’s work in their fans! it can be both a good or a bad thing - take what you will. Anyways, another example: a lot of artists back in the golden age of American illustration (late 1800s to mid 1900s) drew quite similarly. let’s look at some examples to pick out what sets them apart. I used some really distinct examples but you can apply this idea for other artists too.

Here’s Norman Rockwell. He’s quite well known and I’m sure you’ve seen some of his art if you live in the western hemisphere, he was commissioned for a lot of magazines and other places. style: I would personally characterize his work as realistic and painterly. content: heavily focused on interaction and expression - sometimes a bit funny - but these are expressions that feel completely natural, and dont fall into the uncanny valley. This is what differentiates his art from other golden age artists, and his work is unique IMO, even if it’s realistic in nature.

Here’s Earl Oliver Hurst. style: His work is cartoony, but not flat, bold black ink, and has a really great sense of the “line of action”. content: he drew a lot of pretty men and women (probably because they were commissioned for magazines and advertisements), and they’re usually doing recreational activities like sports or posing in fashion shoots. I love his work and I think more people should know about him!! definitely in my top 10.

Here’s Mead Schaeffer. style: His work is moody, the colour palettes can range from monochromatic to a full palette, and with an amazing sense of depth, light, and shadow. content: he usually draws people in shadow, and their full facial features may not even be visible, he uses shadow to only indicate facial features are present - what a master! His work is also very dramatic; both men and women are in perilous situations in his work. The sense of light and shadow go hand in hand with the content that he depicts.

other noteworthy names: Dean Cornwell, J.C. Leyendecker, Thomas Blackshear (absolutely recommend him!), female illustrators are hard to come by but here is a list! 

a contemporary artist example:

This fire emblem awakening drawing by katy/inktho (wonder if reposting is OK for educational purposes?). style: the family atmosphere is heightened by the soft, neutral light, and the warm, rustic, homely decor. i would characterize this artist’s style as warm, and they excel at drawing character expressions and interaction. content: This drawing speaks a lot to me - even though I've only played a bit of FE:A, I can really feel the family bond between these characters. The interaction feels natural, lighthearted, and playful. I think that's the power of telling stories in your art, if it's told well, people will enjoy it no matter if they know the characters or not. 

Moving on... I know i share this drawing all the time. I know! but i wanted to share the moodboard we were required (i think?) to post in the zine discord server. as you can see there’s both the LOOK that i focused on, as well as reference for the CONTENT (foliage + clothing). my vision for this 2 page spread was “victorian greenhouse fashion spread”. the look and the content are 2 things came together to form this “style”.

// part 3: art you like vs the art you want to draw

some artists i look up to: rei_17, yoneyama mai, mochizuki jun, ask, emmmerald, xanthe bouma, sara kipin, apticho, just to name a few.

another note for reference material: moving further, there's certainly a difference between art you enjoy, and art that you wanna draw. it’s okay to have a disconnect between those two things! art is broad and you can’t cover the entire spectrum. it’s okay if you see an artist with a broader range than you. but they similarly can’t cover everything either, they’re also human.

for me, I like a lot of different art styles, ranging from like, the baroque period, to the mid 20th century golden age of american illustration, UPA cartoons, french comics, to gritty 80s, 90s, 00s anime. however, I wouldn't say I draw like any of them. there are so many drawings I see where I go "wow I want to paint like that!" or "I want to do lineart like that!" or "I want to do lineless like that!" ..... I think my work ends up looking more like a person who grew up with both anime and western cartoon influences and mixed them together.

but I think eventually I drove myself nuts !!! thinking that I want to draw like every artist whose work popped up on my feed. and on top of that, I think I became a lil unhinged when I focused too much on "fandom" in the past. I talked to a few friends about this, and we all agreed we had a few favourite artists who we love, no matter what they draw.

// part 4: style vs content (how this applies to my own work)

*instead of focusing on the "look" or "style" of my work, currently I'm focusing more on "content" - try to find out what kind of TOPICS you want to draw FIRST, and I believe that the style you choose will fall in place!! right now I want to try my hand at depicting character interaction, and the scene/world they live in - so, telling stories. i’m moving away from the cartoony, flat styles i sometimes worked in during my first 2 years of animation school. now that i’m older, i feel that i want to involve more dimension in my art, and the flatter styles, although fun, just don’t cut it for me anymore. 

i also am stepping a bit away from my lineless work, if you look at the image below, there are a lot of details that got lost from the sketch -> local colours -> final with relative colours. it’s a style i worked in a lot, but over time i felt increasingly frustrated that i could not depict emotions as clearly. my lineless work has a strong focus on aesthetics, but i want to focus more on facial expressions, body language, and most importantly, atmosphere, moving forward. as i focused more on those things, i naturally went back to my more anime style.

this is the kind of content i want to get better at, and by narrowing down my content, the style i wish to work in falls in place!!

some examples of old stuff VS where my work looks a bit more anime or comic influenced as of late:

^ 2020 portfolio work (OC)

^ 2018 (OC)

2018 (ace attorney)

2021 (pandora hearts)

2021 (ace attorney)

//

moral of the story: find your content first, then your style will fall in place.

i don’t really have any closing thoughts other than i hope that can help inspire you!! 

[penaltbox]

mistakes we make (3) - alex turcotte

part 1 - part 2 - part 2.5

I can’t believe this is the final part! I never expected this to have even two parts let alone (technically) four! I hope you liked it and if you did please let me know and please please reblog (how else can someone find new blogs to follow??). I appreciate everyone who take the time to read this!

word count: 6.3k

__

“Who is that? Is that daddy?” You ask your son, his little body starting to squirm in your arms. 

Ben had come to know Alex through a screen more or less, but to your surprise he had no problem recognizing him right now in the airport. Alex has one of the biggest smiles on his face that you’ve ever seen as he hurries over to you two, impatiently trying to get to his little boy. 

You stop a few feet from him, causing him to slow down, and set Ben on the ground, “go get daddy.”

Ben lets out a squeal that makes several people laugh in the area and then he’s closing the small distance towards Alex with his arms stretched out wide. Alex grabs him when he’s close and lifts him up over his head. 

“Look at you, big boy! You can walk so well now! I’m so proud of you,” Alex encourages, hugging Ben close to his chest. 

You were still amazed at the effort that Alex had put in over the last year, the amount of phone calls and check up texts he’d sent, and all the gifts he’d sent Ben. The toy pile in your apartment was starting to become massive at this point. You hadn’t seen him since you flew to LA for the holidays and you knew Ben missed him. Maybe you did as well but you tried not to think too hard about that. 

He’d done what you’d asked of him and more so when Ben started to babble more, you started to refer to Alex as ‘dad’ when you guys would FaceTime. Ben didn’t pick it up immediately but one day it seemed to click for him and you were more okay with it than you ever would have guessed. 

“Hi,” you say to Alex as he walks over, shifting Ben to one side as he gives you a one armed hug. You can’t help the smile that slips onto your face as he does that, giving him a quick squeeze before you let him go. 

“Thanks for bringing him with. I figured it might be past his bedtime,” Alex says, giving you a bright smile. 

You shrug, trying not to blush at the boy who knew you well enough to know it was happening anyways, “he’ll fall asleep in the car so it’s fine. Plus he was excited to see you so it’s worth it.”

“I’ve got a lot of bags, just to warn you,” Alex winces, though you figured he probably did. 

“That’s okay,” you nod, “I’ve got the seats folded down other than where Ben’s is.”

Alex flashes another quick smile and you want to slap him for the whiplash he’s giving your insides. You wish you knew why he still had a hold on your emotions when you were in person. Over the phone you were fine; you could be pretty detached and definitely didn’t feel the way you did right then. As soon as he was back in front of you though, it all changed. 

You take a deep breath and head for baggage claim, knowing he’d have his gear with him on top of regular suitcases. He hands Ben back to you, despite the protests of the tired little boy. Once Alex started grabbing duffle bags and wraps of sticks Ben had a new interest in watching his dad offload all this equipment. 

Your eyes go wide when you see how many items Alex had in total and pray that it’ll all fit in your small suv. He snags a luggage cart and loads it up, giving you a bashful smile. 

“I wasn’t kidding,” he shrugs. 

“No, you weren’t,” you laugh, heading for the exit, “why don’t you wait here with Ben and I’ll go pull the car up to load it?”

Alex agrees, sitting Ben on top of the mound of suitcases in front of him and wrapping one arm around the little boy so he wouldn’t fall. Alex waits until you’re out of ear shot to lean down and talk to Ben. 

“Alright buddy, what do you say daddy tries to win mommy over this summer and get her back? Does that sound good to you?” Alex asks, knowing Ben really didn’t understand what he was saying, but Ben gives him a nod in agreement anyways. 

Alex gives him a tiny high five and waits patiently for you to pull up. He doesn’t let you help load the car at all and somehow he makes it all fit. Ben’s eyes are wide at first with all the stuff packed in around him, but five minutes into the drive back to your place he passes out. 

“Told you it wouldn’t take long,” you say quietly to Alex, looking up in the little mirror pointed towards Ben’s car seat. 

Alex turns around, peaking over the seat to find the sleeping baby, his cheeks flushed and his mouth slightly parted. Alex can’t help but watch him for a few minutes. As small as it was, he’d even missed out on something as simple as watching his baby sleep. 

“He’s excited you’re back. All those FaceTime calls have paid off,” you mention, noticing Alex hasn’t turned back around yet. 

He can’t help but smile, “you have no idea how good that felt to see him run up to me like that. How do you handle how cute he is every day?”

You laugh and shake your head at him, “it’s a tough job, but sometimes I do have to say no to him. Much to his own dismay, but I can’t let him play with cords or drink puddle water. Mean mom, I know.”

“Nah, you’re such a good mom. Every kid has to hear no sometimes. I’d tell him no if he did something wrong.”

“No you wouldn’t,” you snort, looking over at him as you reach a stoplight. 

“I sure would,” he says, sitting forward again in his seat now and trying not to smile at you, “it’s you that I can’t say no to.”

You roll your eyes at that one and force yourself to stare at the road then, “We aren’t going there, Turcotte.”

He smiles then, but doesn’t say another word. The car grows quiet and your mind starts to race as you drive towards your apartment. Alex was only staying for one night. Just one. Then he was off to hang out with Owen or Cole or whoever, but it wasn’t you. You’d survive one night, right?

—

You carefully pull Ben out of the car, throwing his blanket over him as you carry him to the door, opening it and letting both you and Alex in. He sets his duffle bag down near the couch and you turn towards him, pulling Ben’s blanket down. 

“Say goodnight real quick?” You whisper, knowing Ben was still asleep. 

He nods, letting his hand rest on your side as he leans in to kiss Ben’s head softly, “night, B. Daddy will see you in the morning.”

Your side feels hot where his hand is and you clear your throat a little, “can you slip his shoes off too? I don’t think I can reach.”

Alex nods and lifts the velcro straps as he slips the tiny shoes off. Ben stretches his little toes and rubs his nose on your chest for a moment before turning his head the other way and continuing to sleep. You and Alex freeze when he moves and you’re left staring wide eyed at each other, holding your breath until he settles back in. 

Alex looks a little older now. There’s a hint of scruff on his face, like he’d forgotten to shave that morning. You don’t know the last time you got to just look at him like this. It had to be before Ben happened… and Alex is looking you over, too. He’s not hiding that fact at all. 

You blush and take a step back, nodding your head towards the hallway to let him know where you were headed. He gives a small nod in return, setting Ben’s shoes by the few other pairs near the door, including your own. He slips his shoes off as well and can’t help but notice that he likes seeing three different sizes there. 

You tuck Ben in, making sure he’ll stay asleep before carefully closing his door and heading back to the living room. Alex is sitting on the couch, scrolling through his phone, and doesn’t seem to notice you come in. 

“Hey,” you say softly, making him look up quickly, “make yourself at home, okay? If you need something to drink or anything go for it. B gets up kind of early but I’ll try and pull him into bed with me if it’s crazy early.”

“No, don’t worry about it. I’ll get up whenever he does. That’s fine with me,” he smiles, standing up and walking closer to you. 

You glance down and notice he’s actually next to his duffle bag, which makes more sense as to why he came so close to you. He keeps eye contact for another moment before grabbing the bag off the ground. He digs out some shorts and a T-shirt before stepping around you. 

“I’ll be right out unless you’re going to bed.”

You glance over your shoulder at him, “I need to go change, too. I should get some sleep.”

You say it but you don’t want to hear it either. Alex nods before moving off to the bathroom, leaving you to catch your breath. He’d just got back into town and he already had your mind spinning. 

__

The sound of Ben babbling on the baby monitor wakes you up the next morning and you check your clock immediately. It was practically 8am which was unheard of lately for him to sleep until. You hope he wasn't awake in his crib too long, so you shoot out of bed and over to his room. 

You smile as you open the door and peak in, Ben immediately hearing you. He’s quick to stand up, reaching for you right away and whining. 

“You weren’t crying two seconds ago. Come here,” you gently tease him, picking him up and snuggling him close, “hi, sweet boy. How’d you sleep?”

He rubs his eyes and gives you the sweetest smile, hugging his favorite little blanket to his chest. He was definitely still waking up and you knew he'd be hungry soon after. You set him down with a couple toys in the living room, noticing that Alex was still asleep. 

You press your finger to your lips as Ben looks up at you, though he has yet to notice the man taking up your entire couch and then some. You head for the kitchen to make some pancakes, which was Ben’s favorite breakfast food. 

You swear you hear Alex but it’s quiet right after. Almost too quiet actually. Once you get the pancakes finished and the stovetop turned off, you step back into the living room. 

Your heart melts immediately at the sight in front of you. Ben must have woke Alex up because he was now laying down on Alex’s chest, his eyes struggling to stay open. Alex has one hand resting on Ben’s back with his other arm behind his head, and you’d be a liar if you said you weren’t staring. Again. 

Alex looks over once he notices you and smiles softly, “good morning. Something smells good in there.”

You can’t help but put one hand on your cheek, trying to hide the blush that seems to keep creeping up every time you see him do something cute with your son. You shake your head a little, refocusing on what he had just said. 

“Pancakes, if you want some. Strawberries on the side because they’re Ben’s favorite.”

Ben hears the menu and picks his head up right away, giving you a devilish grin. You can’t help but laugh, figuring he’ll be pushing away from Alex in no time after hearing what you were up to. 

You’re shocked though when Ben doesn’t try to leave Alex’s side, but instead just sits up, leaning back against the couch. Alex laughs at how comfortable Ben suddenly looks. 

“Oh am I supposed to just bring breakfast to you boys like we don’t eat at the kitchen table around here?” You joke, having no actual issue with setting them up in the living room. 

Alex smiles over at you then, making more butterflies stir up in your gut, “I can get up if you want us in there. I don’t mind.”

You smile, shaking your head slightly, “no, I’ll bring some to you guys. Just let me know how much you want.”

“Probably like three,” he calls after you, confirming the guess you had in your head. 

You get the food plated and take it back into the other room, setting it up on the coffee table. You make sure Ben is situated and happy before turning your attention to Alex again. 

“Do you want coffee? I’m about to make some,” you offer, not sure if he even drank it. 

He scrunches his nose with a little shake of his head and you see Ben so much in the action, “I’ll pass but water would be good.”

You nod and head back for the kitchen, leaving the boys to dig into their food. Alex watches as you head into the other room before leaning down near Ben. 

“Okay buddy, we’re about to put part one of the plan into place. You ready to hang out with Owen for a day?” He quietly asks the little boy, watching as he munches happily on a strawberry. 

“Mmm,” Ben mumbles, holding a chunk of strawberry up for Alex. 

With a smile Alex leans in and bites it, laughing when Ben shrieks happily at the action. He considers it enough of an agreement and pulls out his phone to shoot a text to Owen. 

—

“Please, I just want to go down to the Union and go by the water,” Alex asks, practically begging at this point over the phone. 

He’d been gone two whole days after staying at your apartment and had still made time to see Ben during both of them. The little boy was wiped and you knew he needed a good long nap before dad came around to rile him up again. You swore he had FOMO when Alex was around and hated to close his eyes in case he would miss something. 

“Alex, no. Ben needs to relax and take a good nap at home. He’s been so cranky because we’ve been on the go so much lately. He isn’t used to this.”

A loud sigh comes through the speaker and you continue to walk around your living room as you try to rock Ben to sleep. He was almost too big for it but nothing else was working so far to get him down for a nap. 

“Can I just stop over real quick? I think I left my phone charger there last night,” Alex responds, though he knows very well that he left it there… on purpose. 

You roll your eyes, knowing he wouldn’t take no for an answer anyways, “fine, just be quiet when you come in. I’ll leave the door open.”

He silently cheers himself on for convincing you to let him over. You’d find out soon enough just what his plans really were though. 

The soft knock on the door almost goes unnoticed, but Alex peaks in with a big smile. You look over your shoulder from where you were organizing Ben’s toys in the corner - for who knows what reason since he’d mess them up later - and smile back at him. 

“I have a surprise and I need you to trust me,” Alex explains, stepping into the apartment. 

You frown and open your mouth to speak, but he beats you to it. He reaches back and tugs Owen in by his shirt. You’re suspicious suddenly as you stand quickly and walk over to the two. Owen has a highly nervous smile on his face as you glare at them. 

“What kind of shit are you pulling, Lex?” You whisper, poking his chest sharply. 

He gives you a soft smile and reaches for your hand, “come to the Union with me. Let’s go hang out for the day.”

“Alex, no. I have things I need to do here and Ben is sleeping finally,” you sigh, trying to pull your hand from his grip. 

“Leave me a list and I’ll get it done,” Owen speaks up, heading to the kitchen with no hesitation. 

You glare a little at Alex but slowly head into the kitchen as well. You grab a pad of paper and start to scribble things down - vacuum, change Ben’s sheets, clean the bathroom, and more. You hand it over to Owen and watch as he skims over the items. 

“No problem. I got it and you’ll get to go relax. You deserve a day off, you know,” he smiles, taking you by the shoulders and turning you around as he guides you back towards Alex. 

“Hold on,” you say, stopping suddenly, “I need to go get ready then.”

The smile on Alex’s face is worth whatever price you might pay later. He makes his way to the couch and sits, giving you a little nod to show he’ll wait until you were ready. 

You shake your head at him and move quickly to your room, tearing through your drawers. What was he doing? What was the point of him dragging you downtown? You were confused, but most of all, you had no clue what to wear. 

You finally settle on something and pull it on, fixing your hair a little and then heading back to where the boys were. Alex has Ben on his lap, the little boy facing him with his head laid down on Alex’s chest. He looked half asleep still but a quick glance at the clock told you he was up from his nap rather than getting woken up by his dad. 

“Well look who’s awake,” you smile, looking at Alex before glancing down at his mini me, “who’s got you?”

Ben lifts his head up and smiles at Alex, who returns the happy look, “dada.” 

“And who else is here?” You ask again, looking at the other large boy on the opposite end of the couch. 

Ben looks over at Owen and squeals, pointing as he speaks up, “O!”

You move to sit on the arm of the couch, running your fingers through your son’s hair. It was getting long and starting to curl a bit finally. Alex looks up at you with a soft smile, waiting on you to say go. 

“Ben, do you want to hang out with uncle Owen while mom and dad run some errands?” You mention, waiting for his reaction. You weren’t sure he’d fully understand the question, but it was worth a shot. 

Ben smiles and nods, slipping off of Alex’s lap and heading for his toy bin. You’re surprised at how well behaved he was being, but you also wouldn’t mind a bit of a break. 

“Let’s go then before he realizes what’s going on,” you mumble, grabbing Alex by the wrist, “thank you, Owen! Text us if you want us to bring you anything back or he gets out of hand!”

He nods and you slip out the front door with Alex in tow, feeling like you were both doing something you shouldn’t be. It gives you a bit of an adrenaline rush and you look back at him with a big smile on your face. He returns the smile and you have to look away quickly, already getting the butterflies in your gut from him. 

Alex offers to drive down to State Street, deciding you could both walk over to the Union and get out a little. Part of you hates how easy it is to fall back into talking and joking with him, but part of you knows how much you missed him and the easy connection you’d always had together. 

You walk side by side to the building you loved so much, occasionally bumping your shoulders together. Despite having the entire sidewalk to yourselves, you seem to gravitate towards one another and it reminds you of so many nights walking across campus before everything went south between you two. 

Alex stops just before the two of you can head up the steps to the big building, causing you to freeze as well. You give him an odd look, waiting for him to explain what he was doing.  

“Let’s go down by the water instead,” he says with a smirk dancing at the corners of his mouth. 

You shiver a little and nod, trying to fight off a smile. He hadn’t held back a ton with the whole flirting thing since he’d got back to Wisconsin, and you weren’t sure what his goal was with it, but it was a fun change to your normal day to day. 

The water was a different story for the two of you. It was somewhere you’d both run off to a million times and it had so many memories that you hadn’t faced in a long time. You’d brought Ben down there once and he adored watching the ducks swim around as the water lapped against the stairs that descended into the lake. 

Alex turns you both with a hand on the small of your back and it feels like your skin is on fire from the gentle touch. You play it off, mentioning something about how Ben had a doctor's appointment coming up soon and Alex bit on it, talking easily about your son instead. 

The water is surprisingly calm when you get to it and there’s only a few people in the area. You lean against the railing at the end of Lake Street and smile subconsciously. You had fallen in love with that spot as soon as you came to Wisconsin. 

“So things have been good?” Alex asks, sounding a little nervous if you heard him right. He keeps shifting his weight from one foot to another like he’s anxious about something. 

You elbow him gently to get him to pay attention as you mumble, “yeah, things have been really great. I can’t believe how big Ben is now. It makes me miss my little baby.”

“You think you’ll ever have another one?”

The question catches you a bit off guard because you honestly hadn���t ever thought of it. Ben was such a surprise and you were so young on top of that. The idea of having another any time soon stressed you out a little. 

“I don’t know,” you answer truthfully, “maybe one day like way down the road, but I can’t imagine having another like now.”

“We make cute ones if you ever need help with another,” Alex laughs, throwing you a wink. 

Your jaw drops at his comment and you can’t help but laugh at him. Was he crazy? Another baby together? You’re shocked to say the least but then you start to think about it. Would another one with him be that bad? He’d really turned into a good dad for Ben and you did make some cute kids. But that was crazy. There was no reason to even entertain the thought. 

“Alex, come on. We’re not having more,” you say, though the thought was still very much in your head. 

“I stand by my offer,” he shrugs, pushing off the railing. He moves over towards the stairs, sitting down on the top one and looking at you expectantly. 

You sigh and head over to join him. You sit down closer than you expected and slide over a couple inches, but Alex isn’t having it. He chases those couple inches and closes the gap again, his right side pressed against your left. You hadn’t been this close to him in a while and you feel a little overwhelmed. You knew you still had feelings for him, but the last thing you needed was him playing with them. 

“Do you miss it here?” You ask him softly, the question more loaded than he probably realized. 

He leans his arms onto his knees, nodding as he watches the waves roll in, “yeah I didn’t think I would, but I really do. Of course there’s a little extra still here than I never planned on missing.”

You look over to find him already staring at you and your breath catches in your throat. He meant Ben. He had to mean Ben. You couldn’t let yourself get caught up in having his attention again, like it would end any different than the first time. You feel your defenses starting to rise quickly. He wasn’t yours anymore. 

You look out at the water, locking your eyes on a boat, “he loves that you come visit.”

“It’s not just him,” he says quietly, still staring at you intently, “I think you and I both know that.”

“No, Alex, we don’t. Some of us got left behind for telling you the truth,” you bite out, feeling your heart ache for him, but you couldn’t go through it again. You wouldn’t let him hurt you twice. 

“And I’ve apologized for that. How long do I have to pay up for that mistake?” He asks, his tone raising at the end of his question. 

“I don’t know,” you snap, but it’s an honest answer, “I want to go home though. This was long enough away from Ben.”

You see Alex’s jaw tighten but he doesn’t argue with you at all. He gives you a little nod and follows when you get up to head back towards the car. It’s a silent ride back to your apartment and you don’t wait to see if Alex follows you up the stairs. Owen looks surprised when you bust in, immediately walking towards your bedroom. You needed a minute to compose yourself so Ben wouldn’t see how shaken up you were. 

Owen stares at Alex as he slowly steps in, closing the front door and leaning back against it. Ben seems to notice the commotion then and smiles when he sees Alex standing there. 

“Dada!” He giggles, making his way over to Alex as quickly as his little legs will carry him. He looks up at Alex and holds his arms up, grabbing at the air. 

Alex picks him up and kisses his cheek, letting out a sigh, “Ben, dad isn’t doing so hot. I don’t think mommy wants anything to do with me.”

Ben seems to understand that Alex’s mood isn’t where it typically is around him and the little boy’s smile drops into a frown. He looks around the room then and back at Alex with his brows furrowed. 

“Mumma?” He questions, gripping Alex’s shirt in his small hands. 

“Yeah, mumma,” Alex repeats, “it might take a little longer with my plan but I swear it’ll work. We’ll be a regular family one of these days.”

—

It took a couple days before you were okay talking to Alex again. You had to pull yourself together and get things back in order before you could even consider letting him back in, but you knew he missed Ben. 

Eventually you cave and let him come over, which turns out surprisingly well. Alex had been over three days straight to hang out when you started to clean up around your apartment since he had Ben preoccupied. 

“Oh, shit,” you whisper, covering your mouth right away. 

Alex looks up with wide eyes from his spot on the floor with Ben, “uhh, is everything okay?”

You quickly flip through some paperwork on the side table next to the couch, pulling a sheet out, “I’m supposed to have a meeting with my advisor in an hour!”

“So go,” Alex offers, earning an odd look from you, “I can stay here with him.”

“You’re okay watching him alone?” You ask, knowing he had yet to do that. Owen had watched Ben plenty of times and you didn’t think twice on it, so why were you questioning this?

Alex shrugs, “yeah, why not? I think I know how to handle him by now.”

You chew on your bottom lip, checking the time and the information on the sheet before caving in, “okay, but if anything happens just call me.”

“We’ve got it. Do you want to take my car in case I need his car seat?” Alex offers and you nod, surprised he thought of that. 

“Yeah, thank you. It should only be like an hour long meeting at the most and then I’ll be right back. Are you sure you’ll be okay?”

“Would you get out of here?” He laughs, standing up and pushing you towards the door. 

“Hey,” you giggle, turning towards him and pushing on his chest, “I need a folder and you didn’t let me say bye to my baby.”

“Bye,” he says and you pick the joke up right away. 

“Turcotte, get out of here,” you scoff, pushing him once more and dashing around him. 

You grab your folder with your curriculum notes and lean down to kiss Ben’s head. He looks up at you with a smile and hands you one of his toy cars as he babbles and continues to play. 

“No kiss for me?” Alex asks, holding the front door open for you, a smirk on his face that makes his dimples pop. 

“In your dreams, Lex,” you joke, patting his cheek as you leave. 

You make it to your appointment just in time and your advisor has nothing but good news for you. She informs you that your scholarship is renewed for the next year and you’re a couple classes ahead of schedule, which is exactly where you wanted to be. All your hard work was finally paying off. 

The entire meeting you can’t help but keep worrying about Ben and Alex in the back of your mind, but you force yourself to pay attention, signing the right papers when your advisor asks you to and agreeing to not overwork yourself that semester. You lie about that part, but she didn’t need to know. 

When you’re finally released you practically run out of the building, checking your phone as you go. There’s no messages from Alex and somehow that’s worse than if there had been. What if something major happened and he couldn’t even get to his phone to tell you?

You start down the stairs of the big building and that’s when you hear an all too familiar squeal. You look up and see Alex walking towards you with one of Ben’s little hands wrapped around two of his fingers. Your heart swells at the sight of them, almost wearing identical outfits and their smiles matching. You realize then something that you’d been pushing off the entire summer and most of the spring. 

Those were your boys. 

You’d been so worried about keeping Alex at arms length that you hadn’t realized how much he’d been there for you and Ben. He’d put in the work, he’d changed his attitude, and he was constantly proving to you that he wasn’t leaving again. 

As you realize this you watch Alex lean down and point towards you, saying something that makes Ben look up. His wide brown eyes light up when he realizes it’s you and he giggles as he takes off from Alex. He’s calling for you as he runs up and you quickly scoop him up, peppering his cheeks with kisses. 

“Hi, my baby,” you say softly, hugging him tight against you, but continuing to meet Alex in the middle, “this is a nice surprise to get. Thank you, Alex.”

He blushes a little and shrugs, “it’s nice out so I figured we could meet you down here. Maybe go grab a bite to eat, too.”

“That sounds really nice. I appreciate that a lot.”

You let yourself look at him for a few extra seconds as you feel your walls starting to come down. You were scared out of your mind over what he could do to you again, but how would you know what would happen if you didn’t at least try?

—

You weren’t planning on having Alex spend the night, but it was pouring rain out and you didn’t want him driving in that weather. Ben had gone to bed surprisingly early and that left the two of you alone far longer than you had planned for. 

You pour another glass of wine for yourself as Alex leans against the counter next to you, sipping his own glass. His gaze had been heavy since glass number one and he wasn’t hiding the fact he was staring anymore. It had you feeling hot all over and it certainly wasn’t from the drinks. 

“So you’re telling me you haven’t slept with anyone since I left?” He asks, the question sounding bold in the small space. 

You blush, ducking your head so he can’t see, “that’s exactly what I said, Lex. What am I supposed to do, hook up with a random dude with our kid in the next room?”

Alex’s anger flares up as his grip on the stemless glass tightens, “yeah that’s not happening. I don’t want any dirt bags around our son.”

Your heart always did this weird little flutter when you heard him refer to Ben as both of yours or as his son. Obviously you knew whose he was but hearing the way Alex owned up to it always struck a chord in you. 

“Dirt bags?” You ask, ready to tease a little and pick on him, “don’t call yourself that. You’re at least a cute one.”

Alex laughs and shakes his head, “I’m not a dirt bag, come on. I’ll take the cute part though even though we both know you’re the better looking one here.”

You scoff and take a bigger drink of your wine after that statement, “no need to earn brownie points here, Lex. You’re already back around Ben.”

“Maybe I want more than just Ben. Would it be so awful if we tried again?” He asks, turning towards you and setting his glass on the counter. 

Your blood runs cold at the thought, one you tossed around in your head many a sleepless night. You always came back to the same answer though and it was how much it had hurt to watch him leave the first time. You’re scared to death of what it would be like to open yourself up to him again. 

“Come on, isn’t there a tiny piece of you that misses us? That misses what we had?” Alex pleads, tugging on his hair as his hand runs through the dark locks. 

You scoff a little at this, setting your glass down so you can cross your arms, “Of course I miss what we had, Alex. I put my heart on my sleeve for you and you knew that. I gave you every piece of me and you left like I was some inconvenience at the time.”

“I made a mistake, okay? It was the biggest mistake of my life and I know that now. I’ll spend every day for the rest of my life proving that if I have to. I’ll be the best dad Ben could ever want, I’ll be the best co-parent you could ever imagine, and if you just let me try then I could be so good to you again,” he says, grabbing your arms and turning you towards him. 

You look up at him and see the pleading look on his face. You knew he was being honest. You could feel it in your gut. His eyes are wide and his mouth is turned down in a little pout. He’s begging you as much as he can for another chance and you know you can’t hold out any longer. 

“I’m scared, Alex. I’m so scared of you and what you can do to me. You’ve wrecked my whole world before and you could do it again,” you whisper, biting your lip as you think about the possibility. 

Alex sighs, “I know I could, but you have to trust me when I say that I promise I won’t. The last thing I want to do is lose you again. I can’t go through that twice.”

You nod a little and he waits, holding his breath as you respond, “okay, we can try again.”

A laugh follows the breath he was holding and he’s leaning in before you can doubt the choice. He kisses you hard and your whole world spins, making you grab onto his shirt to keep yourself grounded. You kiss him back but you’re both smiling too big to keep it going. You laugh a little and kiss his chin as he pulls you tight against his chest. 

“You have no clue how long I’ve been waiting to do that again,” he mumbles, kissing your forehead. 

You lean your head against him, hearing his heart beat quickly, “well now you can do it whenever you want.”

“Yes I can,” he smiles, putting a finger under your chin to make you look at him, “I know I messed up a lot in the past but I promise you I’ve got you this time. We’re a family now and I won’t let anything bad happen to us.”

You can’t help but smile and lean up for one more kiss. It was hard to think the person who tore your life apart would also be the one to put it back together so well, but here he was, fixing the mistakes he’d made. 

[mariaiscrafting]

i saw you talk about “blocking etiquette” in one of your posts and i was wondering if you could briefly explain that? my blog is a baby (i joined in march) so i really don’t know any of the unspoken social rules haha. i feel i should know this before i say anything ever thats dream critical lmao

also saw you have a ton of asks so feel free to answer or not there’s no obligation ! take care of urself it seems like a lot to handle rn

I'd like to preface this by disclaiming that I've been on Tumblr since 2014, so I think I have a good sense of blocking etiquette as it's evolved with Tumblr culture, but I might still be presumptuous/wrong about some things.

Anyways. So, on Tumblr, there's generally always been a "block first, ask questions later" mentality. No matter the fandom, people kinda just unfollow or block people at will because Tumblr's algorithm is so shit at recommending things for people that unfollowing/blocking are really the primary ways to tailor what you don't want to see. So, if you frequent a search term/tag search, like "dream smp," you'd likely block someone who posts things frequently to that tag, but whose content you dislike. Blocking is, obviously, still used as a means to stop interacting with just plain assholes, as it is on every social media site. But more times than not, Tumblr users block blogs for neutral reasons related to how they want to tailor their social media experience, rather than a personal vendetta against someone.

Frankly, from my perspective, this was the main use of block lists back in the day. They weren't so much ways to truly hate on anyone's blog since anyone deemed a true asshole would likely spur a reporting campaign against them, rather than an addition to a blocklist. No, Tumblr blocklists were almost always so people who frequented certain tags simply... didn't have to put up with some people. If there was a wave of problematic shippers inundating a fandom/character tag, of TERFs inundating trans/feminism tags, or something similar, they would likely be put on a blocklist simply because Tumblr users wanted a comprehensive list of people they might come across, but didn't want to have to see posts from. Along a similar vein, a lot of mcytblr blogs advocate simply blocking people who post imagines in the main mcyt/dream smp tags, rather than harrassing each and every one of them into fixing their tag habits. Like, they're just annoying, really, and this social media site is so big that just blocking the ones who frequent the tag is so much easier than anything else.

One notable difference about Tumblr blocking as compared to Twitter blocking is the malintent behind Twitter blocking. Twitter fandom subtwts will advocate for blocking someone particularly if they're being cancelled/a Twitter user simply dislikes them enough. In addition, I've seen more than one Twitter user unironically say that they block people who unfollow them, as if following/unfollowing them were a personal affront, and blocking people were some component of this social game that reeks of cliqueness and high school levels of maturity.

That isn't to say that Tumblr blocking etiquette doesn't have pitfalls, because it has many. The main one I've noticed is that, especially in smaller fandom spaces, someone who's considered problematic might be enmassed blocked by lots of users in that fandom, and effectively be shut out of that fandom. If they're put onto a blocklist, a problematic post is circulated enough, or they're blocked by enough "big blogs" in the fandom, these users can be kept from reblogging, liking, or sending asks to a large part of the fandom they participate in. Vague posting doesn't really get you anywhere on Tumblr because of how insular each blog is, as opposed to Twitter, where screenshotting someone's profile who's blocked you and/or complaining very obviously about someone blocking you without naming them is commonplace and can be easily spread throughout a subtwt. This means Tumblr blogs who were mass blocked end up reaching much less members of their fandom, cannot really stand up for themselves in the face of mass blocking unless they're infamous enough for people to recognize their name, or participate in the discourse that promoted their blocking in the first place. While I haven't really experienced this, all of this is taken from what I've observed mutuals and recognizable blogs going through over the years.

Another note is that this website is kinda fucked, coding-wise. We all know this. This means that there are a million holes in the blocking system that make it even more annoying to navigate when people have blocked you, and that ends up getting more people blocked than maybe should be.

First of all, those imagine blogs aren't just posting in the main tags for shits and giggles, or to be cumbersome and clutter the main tags. They're doing it because Tumblr is dying, and even in a fandom as big as mcytblr, it's almost impossible to boost/promote your original content. The Tumblr algorithm sucks at spreading awareness about popular posts, more and more Twitter refugees means less and less people who fucking reblog > liking posts, and basically the only way posts can blow up anymore is by being found through a tag that is trending or frequently browsed through the "most recent" setting. This includes dream smp and many smp character names, so obviously imagine blogs are going to take advantage of this and maintag. It's the reason mcytblr constantly tags "m*necraft" despite being told off, time and time again, for doing so by mineblr. And it's the reason I've likely been blocked by many people- because I had to make the decision between spreading awareness of a post that took a lot of effort and that I thought was important enough to main tag despite being critical/negative, or keeping mcytblr happy by not cluttering their bias's tag with a crit post. Sure, some of mcytblr likely blocked me because they thought I was annoying/disagree with me, and that's fine. But I'm sure many blocked me for the same reason I block imagine blogs and mineblr blocks dream smp stans- because they wanted to peruse their fave's tags, and they simply blocked a random blog that posted something they didn't like, without really thinking much of it.

Second of all, side blogs kinda fuck up how blocking works. It's annoying as hell to see a post you really like in the main tag/search, only to find that the person blocked you upon trying to reblog. Because of sideblogs, people will oftentimes block a sideblog because it's that user's fandom blog, without blocking their main, so the user is left kinda seeing their stuff time and time again, without being able to interact with it.

Speaking of how fucky the code is because of the blogging system, reblogs make it even worse. Most social media sites simply make it so a blocked user cannot see another user's profile, posts and all. But Tumblr not only allows this, it kinda fucks up the search function by sometimes allowing people you've blocked/who've blocked you to show up in main tag searches, it didn't take into account the fact that you can still see an OP's post when someone else reblogs it, and Tumblr didn't think to just fucking fix all these holes and just wholly omit someone's posts if they've blocked you, or you've blocked them. So, despite blocking people, you can still be logged in and see all their shit, and they can see yours. It's kind of annoying as fuck.

[detectivejay-chuckles-halstead]

Thanks // Jay Halstead x Reader // Pt 3

Description: Y/N finds out just a little more about Jay

Words: 1555

Warnings: Slight character whump

Pairing: Jay x Reader (eventual), Reader x Mouse!Platonic, Jay x Mouse!Platonic

A/N: 2 Updates in one day? Who am I? In all seriousness though, thank you all for the support with this story. It means a lot to me. Even the replies that are just a heart emoji mean a lot to me, as do all the likes and reblogs. I hope you all enjoy as always!

Part 1 Part 2

This careful dance went on for weeks. Once a week, Jay would be there, always towards the weekend. The three of you would sit outside, watch the birds. Mouse talked more when you were around, surprising the staff when they’d overhear. You were just glad that he seemed to like you, enjoyed having you around. 

You were at work, your boss talking to you about one of your cases. It was days like this that you really enjoyed your job, getting to work under some of the best psychologists in Chicago. And the community at Chicago Med was fantastic. 

“I have a patient in the ER that I want you to try and talk to. He’s the brother of one of the ER doctors, Will,” Daniel told you when his pager went off. “I haven’t been able to get through to him before, but maybe you’ll be able to?”

“Of course. I’ll head down there right now,” you assured him with a smile, turning and walking to the elevator. It was definitely one of those days that you enjoyed your job. As soon as you hit the ER, you were greeted with familiar faces. Despite primarily working in the Psychiatric Unit, you were still a staple in the ER. 

“Dr Y/L/N!” Maggie exclaimed when you walked up to her, embracing you in a tight hug. “Daniel let you loose I see?”

“He specifically sent me. I’m here to talk to Dr Halstead’s brother. Could you point me in his direction?” 

“Exam 7.” You nodded, walking down and counting the numbers as you went until you hit seven. The curtains were drawn, but you could hear Will talking -- or more yelling -- at his brother.

“Are you stupid? I mean you just got shot! And now you’re wanting to leave AMA? I mean, first! You got shot! Which can mess up your ability to wear…” You walked in with a knock, not letting him finish his sentence as he turned to look at the intruder. 

“I’m sorry to interrupt. Daniel wanted me to come down and talk…” You looked at the man in the bed, surprised. “Jay?”

“You told them to make me talk to a psychiatrist?” Jay spat, glaring at his brother. This obviously was a surprise to him, and to you as well. You didn’t expect Jay to be Will’s brother, and you weren’t expecting to be called down to talk to Mouse’s friend. 

“It’s procedure, you know that, Jay! This isn’t the first time you’ve gotten shot on the job!” Will reminded him, but you cut them off before more yelling could occur. 

“That’s enough Dr Halstead!” you snapped. “I understand that this is a difficult situation for both of you, but I’m here to do my job. And you have patients to see as well Will, so let me do my job and go do yours.” 

Will’s brow furrowed in frustration, Adam’s Apple bobbing harshly in his throat as he looked like he wanted to say something. “Now, Will,” you stated again, letting him walk out of his own accord. 

“Look, I’m fine,” Jay assured you, sitting up and crossing his legs under the blanket. 

“I believe you, but I still have to come down here and talk to you. Clear you so to speak. If you want, I could tell Daniel that we know each other and that you would be more comfortable with a different psychiatrist if you’d like?” You didn’t want to hand him off to somebody else, but you wanted to make sure he was comfortable with it all. 

“No...it’s...you’re fine,” he sighed. You took the opportunity to take a seat in one of the plastic chairs. “So, how’s this going to go?”

“I just want you to tell me about today. What led up to you getting shot. What you were thinking, feeling. That’s it,” you answered with a smile, setting the ipad down on the table. You weren’t going to take notes on this, wanted to keep his trust intact. 

“We were on day three of this case. It was a tough one,” he began, eyes glancing back and forth between you and the wall. “We’d found our guy, went to raid his house. I was with my partner Hailey, and it was going like any other bust. We breached the front door, and then I heard the distinct ‘pop’ of a gun, and then just searing pain in my thigh.” 

“And what were you thinking when it happened?” You kept your voice soft and low, soothing even. 

“Not again,” he chuckled, but there was no humor in it. Just sadness. “That’s what I was thinking. Not again. Because I’ve been shot before. In Chicago. In Afghanistan. Accidents. On purpose. And all I thought was not again.”

“What was Will talking about when he was talking to you? Getting shot would affect your ability to wear something?” You weren’t sure if it was pertinent or not, but seeing as Will was yelling about it, you figured that it probably was. 

“I don’t want to talk about that.” 

“Outside of these walls, I can be your friend Jay. And I won’t push you to talk about things you don’t want to. But right now, I’m trying to assess if you need therapy sessions and if you’re going to be cleared to go back to work,” you reminded him. “So, I need you to answer my questions. And whatever we talk about in here, I won’t bring up out there unless you do. Deal?” 

It took a minute for him to speak, sighing before leaning back against the pillows. 

“Had I gotten shot just a few inches lower, I wouldn’t have to be here. They wouldn’t have had to pull a bullet out of my flesh.” He bit the inside of his cheek, chewing on it gently as he swallowed hard. “I would have been able to go back to the district and get probably Adam or Kevin to help me get the bullet out.”

“Okay?” you said, not sure if you were understanding him. He still would have gotten shot.

“Mouse and I, when were in Afghanistan. We hit an IED. He ended up with a traumatic brain injury. And I ended up as an amputee. Right side, above the knee. Will was so kindly reminding me that additional damage to the remaining muscle of my leg could make it to where I can’t wear my prosthesis. I mean, I’m gonna be without it for a few weeks to let the wound heal. The, physical therapy with the prosthesis. I’m gonna be on desk duty for a few months at least.” He looked at you, rolling his eyes with another smile with no happiness behind it. “That what you wanted to hear?” 

“I didn’t know what to expect. You and Mouse are definitely two people that are hard for me to read. But I mean, it doesn’t change anything about you,” you shrugged. “I’m going to be honest with you, it wouldn’t hurt to talk to somebody. I don’t think you overly need to by any means, but trauma can bring things back up, things we try to push away.”

“I know. But it’s always the same. I’ve learned to live with the triggers, the emotions and flashbacks. I just...I won’t be able to see Mouse for a while, which pisses me off.” 

“Because you won’t be able to drive?” 

“Yeah. And when I see him again, I think he’ll understand. But it’s hard for him. I’ve seen some of the staff treat him like he’s a child. Or that he’s not entirely there, but he is. I’ve seen it. He’s in there, it’s just his brain doesn’t work right anymore. He gets frustrated so easily now. Watching the birds is really the one thing that keeps him calm all the time. So, he’s going to be frustrated that I’m not there, even if I call and tell him why. He’s not going to fully understand,” he explained to you, letting you see just a little more than usual when it came to both of them.

“If you want, I can drive you Jay. I know we usually show up on the same day later in the week, but I can adjust my schedule to make sure you get down there.”

“You would?” He seemed genuinely surprised, eyes wide with excitement instead of sadness. 

“Of course. He means something to you, and you obviously mean something to him. So, why wouldn’t I? It’s not like I don’t go down there frequently anyway? Is there anything else you want to talk about?” you asked, knowing you needed to go back upstairs soon.

“No. Thank you, Y/N. This means a lot to me,” he answered as you stood up, fishing around in your pocket for your business card before scribbling your personal phone number on the back.

“What are friends for? Call me or text me if you need anything. And I do mean anything, Jay. And we’ll set up a schedule to get you down to see Mouse.” You handed the card to him, his hand loosely grabbing your wrist for a moment as he smiled up at you. You nodded, understanding the unspoken thanks he was sending you. “I’ll see you soon.”

Tag List:  @yzas-stuff @gemmafountainloves @ceiliesla @corebore123 @annaallicce @fullwattpadmusictree @bethii1 @thevelvetseries @mich-lynne3 @itmejado @music-is-my-escape71 @not-onlyedmlyrics @supergirl000983 @mandybug39 @okiegirl24 @haileymatthewss @httphiddlestan @capmanranger @ahhh0ahhh @bookgiver @daenerys-targaryes @galacticsmoon @beachfan412 @wearesodrica @danielacastellon @genericcaner @halsteadsway @theskytraveler @miranda0102 @amyarondottir @onechicago18 @lovecatystuff @doramstr @itsdesiree86 @raveenasblog

[kessielrg]

[Kingdom Hearts] Of Memes and Regrets

Summary: In which Lea has a guest star for his YouTube's next Let's Play, and she perfectly steals the show from him.... again. [oneshot][platonic LeaxOC (AxelxOC)]

Rating: K+

Word Count: 2,412 words

If you liked this story, please reblog!

---

Lea glanced at the timer placed by his monitors and nearly tisked at the time.

She was late.

With a rather tired sigh, Lea started to work on making sure his software was still working right. Maybe while he was fiddling around with stuff, Sabrina would join the video chat so they could get a session done. He knew he should have asked Roxas to join again. Xion would be great to bring in too, if she wasn’t too busy working on her next article for her school’s paper. But alas, his subscribers had spoken, and they wanted Miss Priss and her insatiable need to annoy everyone. Especially him, apparently.

Not that he could blame them, she was great on camera.

Lea hummed as he booted up the game they were going to play. It was a review copy he had gotten a few days back, and he was actually looking forward to bumping it. He would be the first to admit to not being a big fan of the original franchise, but the graphics were crisp and the controls were smoother than butter. He knew Sabrina would have an appreciation for it too; as far as he could tell, the female characters were dressed sensibly- not at all designed just for the male gaze. They could have some fun talks about it when she got here. If she got here.

With the game running as expected, Lea started screen recording. He got a few minutes down before turning on his webcam as well. His face appeared on the screen to his left, with the game and recording software on the right. It was a good time to adjust lights while he was at it. Once that was settled, he began recording from the webcam as well. Lea admired himself in the webcam feedback for a moment. It was always better to overshoot, even if you weren’t really doing anything more than vocal warmups and adjusting your lighting.

Lea cleared his throat a bit before going through with his intro. He kept his tone bright and energetic. It was bad form to go in this early at full blast, but if Sabrina wasn’t going to remember their agreement, then he’d have to make due.

“Hey everybody, welcome back to AxelotlGaming! I’m Axel, and we were going to have a guest. Turns out she’s not coming, because at this point, we are well past being fashionably late.” Lea moved a bit away from the mic before grumbling, “It would’ve been nice if she actually bothered to tell me when she wasn’t coming. Could’ve been halfway through a recording by now.” He grimaced before remembering that he was still recording, so he turned back to the camera with a wide grin. He realized he was going to cut out a lot of his annoyance in editing later if he kept this up. The show always goes on, and whatnot.

“With or without our guest,” he went on to say to the webcam, “We’ve been sponsored to play the new-”

He hated to admit that he jumped when the ping for someone joining the video chat chimed. Lea quickly ended his recording softwares and accepted the newcomer. A new face appeared on the same monitor he kept his webcam feedback on, and he grimaced at seeing them.

“You’re late.” he huffed. He swiveled his car a bit just to glare at her feedback directly. Lea then almost proceeded to get knocked out of his seat looking at her.

Sabrina was a natural beauty and knew it. She was always light on her makeup regimen unless she was going to be seen on video or photograph. Today she did not plan on disappointing; her lips were painted a deep red, her cheeks the faintest of pinks to give the illusion of being an absolute sweetheart, and even the color around her eyes make them look more expressive. It was rather impressive- she must have worked on that for a good hour just to make sure she didn’t look like a raccoon.

“And now you realize why I’m late.” Sabrina smoothly told him, folding her arms with a smirk on her face. Even through the webcam, she looked so in control of everything. Lea didn’t know if it infuriated him, or was genuinely impressed.

“Yeah, yeah,” he said with a wave of his hand. “But know this, princess; just because I have an arguably easy job on paper, it doesn’t mean I don’t keep a schedule too. Got it memorized?”

“Just hire an editor.” she told him in the least of caring tones.

“No way!” he argued back. “I’ve got a certain method to my madness, and I’m not going to have someone else get their fingerprints all over it.”

“What a funny way of saying that no one else is as deranged as you.”

“Enough talk,” Lea then said to her with a clap of his hands, “We should be halfway through a session by now. Start up the game and make it snappy.”

Sabrina gave him a little wave of her hand before doing as she was told. She must have known how late she was- usually when someone told her to do something, her instinct was to react with the opposite. As she did that, Lea also went over his recording equipment and made sure he was recording as well.

“I’m ready when you are,” he decided. “Are you recording everything on your end?”

“Looks like it.” she agreed. Her eyes looked elsewhere for a moment- likely to check if everything was running smooth enough. When her eyes went back to the webcam, she settled back a bit in preparation for the next hour or so of recording.

“Are you doing the intro today?” she asked, gently placing a hand under her chin.

“My show, isn’t it?” Lea smirked. Knowing that she was ready meant it was time to start recording again. About time, too.

“Alright princess, put on your video face.” he warned her. “We’re getting serious in three… two…”

Both of them shifted in their spots slightly to appear more presentable. Lea gave them a few more moments of getting comfortable before going through his intro.

“Hey everybody, welcome back to AxelotlGaming! I’m Axel, and today I’ve got a very special guest. Special guest, why don’t you introduce yourself. Not that you need it, of course.”

“Of course.” Sabrina smoothly agreed, even twisting a piece of her hair. She looked at the webcam before giving a double wave to it. Her voice carried a perkiness never seen before as she said, “Hey guys! You asked for me, so here I am! Your favorite Lady Sabi here to show up, ah, I mean, play with Axel today.”

“So humble.” Lea playfully retorted. Sabrina only gave a wide -rather smug- smile in return.

“What are we playing today, Axel?” she cheerfully chirped. For a moment, Lea wondered if he was friends with a bubbly airhead instead of a pessimistic downer.

“We’ve been sponsored to play the new Blue Bomber MMO called ‘Renegade Chaser.’” he said, gesturing his hands to the side. He’ll edit in the box art during post. “Designed with old and new fans alike, Renegade Chaser can be played online and off with both multiplayer and single player modes.”

“Sell out.” Sabrina coughed into her hand.

“Yeah, well,” Lea mused, “Not all of us get free stuff just by looking pretty on Instagram. Of course, with almost a million followers at PrincessSabiAes2012, you’ve almost got enough influence to carry this channel on your own.”

“Nice plug.”

“Why thank you.”

“Bad rep for you though.”

“Why thank you.”

Sabrina let out a genuine laugh at his misfortune. But this was the kind of repertoire his subscribers enjoyed between them. Just hearing her laugh gave him a vision of a future comment along the lines of ‘hearing Sabi laugh at Axel adds 9,999 years to my life.’ Too bad the actual object of Sabrina’s -disguised- affection wasn’t on YouTube much, let alone have an account. Which was all for the best- he didn’t want to admit it, but Ventus got jealous real easy. Embarrassingly easy, depending on who you asked.

“Now that you’ve harassed me and we’re not even a minute in, how about we pop into game and see what we’ve got?”

“Let’s.” Sabrina agreed with a sweet little nod. 

Lea stole a look at her as she adjusted some things on her end to make sure her game footage was being recorded. Lea chastised himself for being so focused on her. He needed to stop getting distracted by her Clark Kent-ing her onscreen persona. But the switch was just so… uncanny, to put it in the nicest terms possible. There’s no wonder that despite her near million followers, Sabrina had yet to be recognized by any of them in person.

Lea shivered before continuing with his show. Two minutes of recording down, another 58 to go.

. . .

You could tell Sabrina was having a hard time getting used to the game because for ten straight minutes she did nothing but harass Lea instead. Not that it wasn’t to be expected- she was a puzzle girl, not a shoot-em-up girl. That being said, once she figured out the controls, she was nigh unstoppable. She even managed to figure out the special weapons before Lea could. Of course he called her a cheater for it. As long as it was in good fun, who really cared- right?

Another disorienting thing about Sabrina; she kept going from her usual snark to bubbly sunshine in mere seconds. The true (or as true as she wanted to be) part of her came through when she was at her most frustrated. It was yet another thing that his regular viewers came to appreciate of her. A lot of viewers really hated her bubbly self, even though it was arguably when she dished the most one-liners. Lea knew she was actually having a good time when she let the side of her he usually saw come through. That little lady knew how to be a savage and thrived in it.

One such occasion happened during this session. While the two were playing around with the various modes the game had, Lea had found a one-on-one free-for-all that the two took to immediately. Sabrina got so into beating him that he had to talk directly to her or else all commentary would have gone flat. Every word that came out of Sabrina’s mouth was straight from her mind, with no conscious censoring in the slightest. Lea feared so much for her that he intentionally threw the match. He did put up a fight- but it was definitely one of their shorter matches. Sabrina didn’t seem to notice as the victory screen appeared for her.

“Yes!” Sabrina gleefully declared, slamming her hands into her desk before giving her chair a spin. As the chair slowly came to a halt, she threw one of her hands over her head and gave an absolutely satisfied expression.

Lea knew right away that the moment his viewers saw that reaction, there were going to be memes of it. He could practically see them now- a really poor screenshot of that slightly worrying pose she was making, Impact font saying stuff like 'when bae buys you tacos without asking' or 'when Lea's such a moron and makes winning easy.' He'd have to ask her for her footage. He could emphasize the moment to help make some of those insufferable jpegs look slightly better.

It wouldn't have been so bad, but Sabrina was already the source of one of his channel's memes. 'Scrub my feet, peasant' was a line uttered during one Monopoly match that did not go in Lea's favor. Sabrina had also made a rather memorable pose in her chair, coupled with a rather smug face. It became so popular that Lea had to get her permission to make it into a t-shirt. Both Sabrina and his viewers had yet to live it down; Sabrina wearing the shirt anytime she knew the two of them would be in the same room together, and his viewers still made comments that referenced the line.

Good thing she was more of an Instagram queen and not a YouTuber. Lea would probably lose half his subscribers the moment she actually posted videos of her own.

“Heh, I let you win, my lady.” Lea boasted. This realization came to Sabrina with a slow grimace.

“You did.” she said in disappointment. She then smirked at him (not at the camera, but him directly on the screen), before spitting, “There are other ways to flirt with me than making me look superior to you.”

“Oh yeah?” Lea snorted. “Like what?”

Sabrina then smirked like she was taking on a challenge.

“Oh Axel,” she purred into her microphone. Almost immediately, Lea could feel the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. “If you wanted a mistress to teach you how bad of a boy you are, you could have just asked. This doesn’t have to be hard.” She paused for a moment, just to make it dramatic. “Unless you want to be…”

Lea was dead certain that his soul left his body for a hot second. His face absolutely betrayed him, though. He looked away just to hide how red it was.

“Oh well, just look at the time.” Lea decided, already reaching for the keyboard key to finish the recording. “We’re all gamed out for the day. Thank you for watching!”

“But Axel, we still have ten-”

“Thanks for watching!” he loudly declared before smacking the keyboard key. Not long after, his head hit the desk in both relief and frustration.

“Are you alright?” Sabrina questioned, a teasing smirk still on her lips.

“God I hate you.”

“You gonna be alright with that nosebleed?”

“Shut up.” Lea whined.

Sabrina just laughed at him. To rub salt into the wound, she ended the video chat mid-laugh. It was far too effective in leaving a phantom image of her on his mind. Lea let out another groan as he thought about his viewers’ reaction. This was going to be an episode to remember, he had no doubt about it. It was likely going to fuel even more rumors that the two had the hots for each other- which was the last thing he wanted.

He really needed to stop inviting her back.