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#unrelated to anyone but my
halinski · 8 months
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aitadjcrazytimes · 5 months
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inkskinned · 10 months
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so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.
first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.
it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.
and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.
you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.
and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.
your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.
in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.
in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.
so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.
you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.
once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.
and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"
you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?
hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!
you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.
we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?
#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck#good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen#im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3#writeblr#the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this''#and like also#''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist#i was <3 punctured <3 during mine#and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion''#so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3#she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh#ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance#i'd crash on the table#like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it#and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop!#and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just#woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes#she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room#from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing#and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying#and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap#with this terrible memory#i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like#that was too many liters#and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home#i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after#that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty#you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it#while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED#and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.
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doccywhomst · 6 months
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the actual literal meaning of TARDIS (Time and Relative Dimension[s] in Space) is so funny cause it’s just…. a very succinct description of what the vehicle travels through? “hello i’m a human and this is my CAR (Concrete and Roads)” uh yeah i sure hope it do
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comradekatara · 6 months
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the fire nation royal academy for girls or whatever it’s called is such a funny piece of lore to me. like it’s simultaneously a posh girls’ finishing school and a brutal military academy. misogyny boot camp and also regular boot camp. and also it’s middle school. no wonder azula mai and ty lee are so tight, their friendship was forged in the (literal) flames of the hell they endured together.
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cimicherrychanga · 2 months
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play the game youll never win
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mintjeru · 1 year
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rough day?
open for better quality | no reposts
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shelxvy · 12 days
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brad is probably bragging about how he can sing twist by korn and lloyds unfortunately so stupidly into it
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victorie552 · 5 months
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I headcannon that after 3rd Kinslaying, and especially after Elrond and Elros left them in whatever fashion, Maedhros was a total dick to Maglor.
You know how sometimes old or sick people are nice to neighbours/nurses/strangers, but are horrible to their primal caretakers? That's them.
People aren't dicks to their caretakers just to be dicks - it's because they are often frustrated with themselves or their situation and don't know how else to deal with it or they can't deal with it the usual way. It also happens because, paradoxally, they feel safe around their caretakers - you can be a dick because you know they won't leave just because of that.
And boy, did Maglor cast himself in a role of caretaker (let's not kid ourselves, he wasn't qualified, and with his own problems to boot), and BOY, did Maedhros resent him for it. He did not NEED help, he did not DESERVE help, he's not another kidnapped child MAGLOR, I'M the older brother, I should take care of YOU YOU WRECK, WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO BABYSIT YOU GROW UP ALREADY and leave me Nothing is EVER your fault, even when you left me to Angband as you should Why would you care now, it amounted to NOTHING before, it's WORTHLESS
And about half the time Maglor just takes it, actually likes it even. Mostly because of his guilt complex about how he deserves it, but also because Maedhros is only like this with him - he's trying his best to pretend to be fine and be a leader to few followers they have left, because they deserve better and that's the only thing he can give them now, and their brothers are all dead and would always be Too Little to act like that around them anyway. Maedhros would behave himself even around Fingon, to make him think rescuing him was worth something. So by being a dick to Maglor, Meadhros sees him as an equal, a safe haven. Maglor basks in that.
But obviously no one could just take such abuse like it's nothing, and Maglor is a Feanorian too, is prideful and stubborn, with his own laundry list of complains about Maedhros, and also unwell, and also thought of a new insult while lying awake at night and just wants to yell too. So half the time Maglor yells back and their yelling matches would bring orcs to tears, with hate and blame dripping from every word. I don't have enough imagination to picture it realistically, and actually I don't want to, it's too heartbreaking.
And sometimes, one or the other just starts crying. They don't talk about these times.
After some time, their arguments and insults are just a noise, something to repeat endlessly to the point of boredom.
By then, what actually hurts are the words that were not meant to harm.
Example 1:
Maedhros: 'did an all-night inspection of their stores cause he couldn't sleep' I found a herb you always liked to wash your hair with.
Maglor: 'doesn't remember last time he washed his hair, no less scented them'
Maglor: 'choked up' Appreciated.
Example 2:
Maedhros: 'feels like he's dragging Maglor to damnation with him' You could go with the twins, you know.
Maglor: 'doesn't want to upset Maedhros today so decides to pretend as if that was actually an option' Vanyar would probably like my singing but you know they would get mad at you for having better battle plans than them.
Maedhros: 'now KNOWS he's dragging Maglor to damnation with him'
Maedhros: 'dying inside' Of course they would.
When love hurts, it's easier to be a dick.
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front-facing-pokemon · 10 months
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homiu-l · 7 months
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my copiums now
random limbus post edit [part 1] [part 2]
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pocketgalaxies · 2 years
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btw obsessed with on one side marisha helping matt drink water and wiping his face and calling him cute and saying he did a great job playing kiki and helping him put his bucket hat back on after fnaf and then on the other side laura and travis just bullying each other for 2 hours. "why. you fuck" "i thought you were trying to be sweet / ?? no" "you're making me Insane" "your glasses don't help / well if you hold them all the way out there" "baby. you ran out of neverending story / OKAY LISTEN–"
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gummi-ships · 4 months
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Kingdom Hearts II Official Strategy Guide (Source) Sora's Forms
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birdboy-blues · 7 months
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ran out of steam a little bit for jashtober so have these in the meantime
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spotlightstudios · 8 months
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Ayo!!! It's been a while since I've drawn utau (utmv?) stuff in a fully rendered style, so.... when I saw @itsxroxannex had a dtiys I had to shoot my shot!
Actually, I don't think I've ever done a dtyis before 👀 so this was really fun.
(Speedpaint and More Process Rambles beneath the cut ♡)
I... actually don't think I've ever drawn Passive!NM either tbh. This entire drawing was kinda like a personal challenge to myself, since I often lack w/ backgrounds too.
I did kinda a study on the originals background, because I tend to just draw characters w/o a solid background, and when I do add a background characters usually blend into it a lil too well to discern figures, so the color choices and soft loose lines compared to the hard lines + cell shading felt really nice.
I also decided to go back to Procreate for this one too! Normally I draw w/ Medibang these days, but I learned to draw utau stuff on Procreate and so drawing them elsewhere feels wrong.
And, of course, the last note I'll add in the actual post: my sketch process is trash lmao. Literally I just wing the shapes of clothes and junk based on the vibes and resize as needed. I love looking at the og sketch tho cuz it's so... bald. No under-form, no indicator of limbs, nothing.
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nipuni · 6 months
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Doctor Who report! We finished S8 and we loved it, Twelve is great! This season started really strong for us, we loved "Listen" and there were many fun episodes!! sadly the "kill the moon" episode also happened and it was such a mess that we are going to pretend it never did lmao I'd rather talk about what I loved instead and that is Missy!! HELLO?? I always enjoy The Master so this was such a treat!! I love her I hope she comes back next season!! Clara's and Danny's character development on the other hand we didn't enjoy as much and we felt it kind of went downhill since the moon episode but I'm curious to see where Clara's arc is going from here. I love Capaldi so damn much!! Also the 60 anniversary special is coming out tomorrow and we are so excited!! 😭 I need to draw so many things about this show already but things keep getting in the way AAA I have a ton of deadlines, a few events to attend to and a trip on top of it all next week so I'm losing my mind but I will have some art and stuff to share soon I promise!! I hope you are all doing well, I love reading your comments and opinions and I'm very grateful for the messages!!
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