#unrequited prongsfoot

[forestdeath1]

Would you like to share your thoughts on Sirius and James' friendship?

You mean their friendship in the canon?

Because what I see in the books and what I usually write here are two different things.

Alright, this might be a hot take that not everyone will agree with, but since you asked, I'll answer.

First off, I ship Prongsfoot. But that's got nothing to do with canon, so my apologies in advance.

And secondly, yes, I'm absolutely convinced that the books say nothing directly about Sirius's sexuality, so he could be anything - bi/gay/straight/ace/etc - and everyone's free to choose whatever they like best. It’s not really important. My Sirius, the one I write about, is always poly bi, just because I want him to be, because it feels natural to me. But there's no 100% evidence for this in canon. Just as there's no proof he's gay/straight/ace. Anyone can feel free to choose whatever they want. I don't understand why people are building his whole persona around his sexuality and really having fandom wars over it.

BUT

if we consider canon in a broader sense, taking into account the context in which the work was created, considering the time period in the wizarding world (the 70s), considering all the "words of God" and the overall narrative...

I think canon Sirius surprise surprise considered himself straight and was subject to internalized homophobia. He loved James, but never allowed himself even to think about romantic relations, to take that step, and always tried to convince himself that James was just his best friend, not the love of his life. For him, making romantic moves towards James would have been a betrayal. Sirius was happy for James when he married Lily. But he loved him, truly loved him.

For James, Sirius was always special, but he was a friend, a brother, the closest person to him. He admired Sirius, but James was straight as an arrow and... well, he truly loved Lily.

Of course, there was no love for Remus from Sirius, neither before nor after. Sirius and Remus only became close after Azkaban as the last Marauders. Canon is the love Sirius had for James and because of internalized homophobia, he tried to think of it as a very close friendship.

I ship both Prongsfoot and Wolfstar, and I don't care what canon says about it, I separate my fantasies and desires from canon. And I'm convinced they can be written canon-compliant and many indeed do write them.

[an-illegal-gay]

i don't ship lilypad but it would be really fucking hilarious if someone wrote a Jilypad love triangle AU where lily's in love with sirius, sirius's in love with james, and james's in love with lily. And it's all unrequited love. And they're all oblivious to each other.

[runin-reads]

Sirius was distraught when all those years pining after James amounted to nothing when James pursued Lily anyway. But all that jealousy and sadness melts away when he sees Harry who, in Sirius’ eyes, is the best thing to come into his life after James

[angel-wings-and-broken-things]

sirius kicks up such a fuss when james reveals that he’s dating regulus because “he literally looks just like me but meaner. we’re basically the same except I’m better. if you’re going to be in love with ANYONE it should be me I’m obviously the hotter brother” until finally james gets fed up and just busts out “I’m not attracted to short men” and sirius doesn’t speak to him for a week.

[lyrablack1883]

Ignorance is Bliss

——

When the first letter arrived, Sirius didn’t even bother to read it, he recognized his mother’s cursive writing and cast incendio calmly. James watched as it happened. “Are you sure you don’t need to read it?” He asked. “No, must be the same old pure blood shit” Sirius answered.

However, the letter keep coming. It arrived daily for a whole month. And for every letter, Sirius burned it. And then one morning, it just stopped completely out of blue and he found his mother waiting outside his flat not long after. He didn’t open the door for her, instead it was James, who calmly said “Sirius’s not here”.

Her mother expression didn’t change. “I see, please tell him, I need to talk to him. It’s important. Please.. give this letter to him, make sure he read it” her mother then left as quietly as she came. He never heard his mother beg a favor to someone before. When she’s gone out of sight. James asked him “do you want to read it?”. “No” he answered confidently.

The letters finally stopped and Sirius continued his life. He was happy. Being free gives him happiness.

But then the war happened, and he lost.

He trusted the wrong the person and now he carried James’s blood on his hands. And thus the madness claimed him as it did to his predecessor.

12 years he spent grieving his friends’s death and when he’s free once again. He vowed to make things right. He then met Harry and reunited with an old friend. And we all know how the story went.

He then went back home.

His first thought was, would his mother welcomed him?

When he set foot to his ancestral home. It was eerie silence that welcomed him instead. And then kreacher appeared and said “kreacher, welcome the heir of the noble and most ancient house of black home”

and Sirius laughed, he laughed so loud, the echo spread to the whole house. And the house cried for him.

When his laughter died, he eyed the portrait that’s now staring at him. that’s when he realized his mother had passed away. “Mo..” he hesitated. “hello walburga” he then said.

The portrait now looked enraged “who do you think you are to call me by my name, you blood traitor!”. Sirius smiled at the answer and noting to himself that his mother never changed after all.

Being trapped once again in that house reminded him so much of his childhood, his mother’s voice and the poison that was laced to it.

He asked kreacher when his mother died?. Kreacher merely guided him to the drawing room. There, he saw his name now scorched in black. He traced his finger to follow the branch and find his mother easily. “1985” he muttered to himself. He waited for that wave of grief to hit him but it didn’t happened.

He then realized there’s an end to regulus’s date. “1979” why? He thought to himself

The elf beside him cried loudly “poor mistress, poor master regulus, kreacher had failed them, kreacher had failed them”. He banged his head over and over again to the floor.

Sirius tried to remember the last time he saw regulus. He tried to distinguish his face, the prideful tone of his speech, the silver of his eyes they both share from his memory. He remembered It was winter after he graduated, the last time he saw him alive.

He saw them from afar. Mother and his perfect son, hand in hand smiling in diagon alley picking presents for Christmas. The linked hands, the doting in her mother voice when she speaks to her son. The smile he longed to be directed to him.And Sirius remembered the taste of blood that filled his mouth, the painful bite he took to stop himself from crying. The jealousy, bitterness and heartbreak that followed it. How he flee from that scene, refuse to let it burn into his memories.

He remembered the way he cried into James’s arm muttering to himself “why couldn’t she love me?” He said between tears. And James would gently stroke his back and calmed him. “I love you” James would whispered to his ear again and again.

But then James died because of him and he lost his home. Now he’s back again, trapped in this wretched house.

“Foolish brother” he couldn’t help himself from saying that, and kreacher jumped on him. “don’t insult master regulus! Take it back! Take it back! Master regulus is not foolish! He’s kind to kreacher! Master regulus is kreacher’s master!” He screamed. “Master regulus is not a blood a traitor like you!” and Sirius saw red. He pushed away the damned elf not caring it hurt the elf. And went to his room.

He couldn’t cry, there was no tears left he can spare. All of them had been absorbed by the cold stones of Azkaban.

After that incident, Kreacher didn’t stop. Unlike the letters he could burn easily, he had to endured himself hearing Kreacher comparing him with his mother and regulus. “Mistress wouldn’t- master regulus wouldn’t-“ and Sirius would screamed “I’m not them!”

When exhaustion claimed him. he ordered kreacher to never speak of their name ever again. And the whole house went into silence.

For months he tried to fix himself. He didn’t know how.

So he distract himself with the Order, with Harry. Focusing on how he could make things better for him. things he didn’t managed to get from his mother, the hole it created, he filled it by giving it to Harry. He had time. He just had to be patient and then he would be free. He will have a home again.

and he made a plan

When the war is over, he would take Harry to see the world.

When the war is over , he would show him how to ride his motorcycle, like he showed James.

When the war is over, he would tell him the many ‘conquests’ he shared with James.

When the war is over, he would tell him, how loved he is everyday

But when the war finally ended, he didn’t even get to see it.

Sirius died knowing he did the right thing, he died with James’s face smiling at him. He died a painless death, and he smiled through it, knowing he protected the most precious thing he ever had in his life.

He died, however without knowing some things.

He died, without knowing that the letters he burned in 1979, was an invitation to his brother’s funeral. of how regulus had died and how his body was never found. Of how walburga delayed the funeral for a whole month awaiting Sirius’s response beside empty casket.

He died, without noticing, the day his mother visited. It was right after the funeral. She was wearing black and her face stained with tears. The last letter she delivered in person was Regulus’s will, where he explained and left everything to him, of his request to protect kreacher and their family.

He died, without knowing that his mother never disinherited him. They never named regulus their heir, and that was one of the reason regulus took the dark mark despite their family wariness. To prove to their parents he was more than worthy at 16 to took his brother’s place as heir, the age Sirius ran away.

He died, without noticing that his bedroom stayed the same, with no single thing misplaced even after 17 years he left and without finding his mother’s countless letter addressed to him but never sent. Where it could easily be found under her pillow case but now covered in dust and of the portrait that cried his name in silence.

He died, without knowing that if he had asked “how” instead of “when”, kreacher would had no choice but to explained to him, that his mother died of heartbreak and that his brother died defecting the dark lord. And Of how regulus died a noble death the same way as Sirius did.

He died, without knowing kreacher is the main reason, regulus defected. that he failed regulus’s last request by hurting kreacher. Ironically, kreacher then became the reason Sirius himself died.

He died in ignorance and bliss.

[thistuesdaynight]

Invincible

prongsfoot fluff microfic drunk prongsfoot first kiss, unrequited wolfstar, light angst this plot bunny would not go away. It might even become a little series? idk we'll see what happens.

"James," Sirius hisses, voice straining. "Come on, mate. Help me out here."

James couldn't stop giggling.

He often felt like that after drinking, like everything in the world was just so funny, how could he not laugh along? And he certainly was drunk tonight. He and Sirius had gone out together, taking shots like there was no tomorrow. But the bubbly, bouyant feeling in James' chest may not have been from the alcohol, but from Sirius' arm around his middle.

"I had such a good night," James sighed, delighted to be here with his best mate in the whole world feeling drunk, and happy, and invincible.

He loved how he always felt invincible when he was with Sirius.

"That's great, Prongs, but could you pick up your feet?"

Sirius was just as sloshed as James, but James always tended to get floppy when he was drunk. They swayed up to the front door of the house, pressed together hip to hip, Sirius holding onto James' waist, and James was buzzing from the warm point of contact.

After dropping them twice, James finally managed to get the keys into the lock. However, the door was finicky, and in his addled state, he couldn't twist and unlock it properly.

"Bollocks," James cursed. "Bloody door."

"Here," Sirius murmured, reaching over him.

Sirius took the keys from James' grasp, brushing over his fingers and sending goosebumps up his arm. It must have been the cold night breeze. Sirius leaned in closer to maneuver the sticky lock, invading James' space.

James traced the line of Sirius' jaw with his gaze, desperately wanting to know what it felt like under his lips. From this close, James could count the freckles on Sirius' ear, blow warm breath across his neck, and breathe in his scent of spearmint and eucalyptus.

He was captivated by the curl of dark hair currently falling over Sirius' brow, which was furrowed in concentration as he fiddled with the door. What would it be like to brush the hair from his face? To take those soft pink lips with his own…

With a great heave, Sirius finally got the door unstuck and the two boys tumbled forward into their front room, the door slamming behind them. They landed in heap of tangled of limbs, James on his back, and Sirius half on top of him, his curls hanging into James' face. James dissolved into hooting laughter, guffawing from the ridiculousness of it all.

"Prongs, shhhh!" Sirius shushed him with a hand over his mouth, but he was holding back giggles of his own, face flushed red with mirth. "Shh, Remus and Pete are sleeping."

James tried to respond, but Sirius still had his hand over his mouth, which caused them both to erupt into barely contained sniggers, grinning like idiots.

"What were you going to say?" Sirius giggled, moving his hand down so that James could speak, but keeping a finger on James' bottom lip.

"Who cares if they're sleeping! They should have come out to celebrate with us."

James and Sirius liked to go out sometimes to celebrate on random Fridays, just to commemorate the start of the weekend. Peter and Remus valued their sleep too much to go out with Sirius and James every weekend.

"Nah, it's better like this," Sirius whispered, his gaze roaming James' face.

James looked up at Sirius, his pale skin glowing in the moonlight, smiling down at James like he was the only thing in the world. James felt that same bubbly effervescence in his veins, and he didn't care whether it was the alcohol or not.

Invincible.

"Yeah, Pete can't hold his liquor for shit."

Sirius sniggered, laughing so hard that his whole body was shaking from trying to stay quiet. He swayed forward, resting his mouth on his fingers, which were still on James' lips. Sirius' warm breath whooshed over his tongue, and James tried to drink it in. Sirius tipped forward even more, until he was giggling into James' mouth, grazing his tongue, and smiling against James' bottom lip.

And every touch, every breath, every connection sent electricity humming through James' veins.

Sirius.

Invincible.

James surged upward, meeting Sirius's tongue with his own, moving his lips over his, and inhaling his scent like it was oxygen. He kissed Sirius so hard that the other boy fell back until James hovered over him, devouring Sirius' mouth like it was his last meal.

It was Sirius.

His Sirius, and they were kissing. His best mate, but they didn't feel so friendly any more.

Their noses knocked together as they pressed impossibly closer, sharing heat and breath, and this- this was better than being drunk, James decided.

Sirius Black was his own personal drug.

He needed him more than anything. More than everything.

James took Sirius' bottom lip between his teeth, pulling back slowly, enjoying the keening moan that left Sirius. He placed his lips on Sirius' throat, tracing it with sloppy, open-mouthed kisses, and it was better than he'd imagined.

"Wait," Sirius said, out of breath and chest heaving. "We can't."

The words didn't register, and James continued his ministrations underneath Sirius jaw, because he wanted nothing more than to swallow him whole and be swallowed in return. But Sirius pushed on his shoulders. "We can't, James. You're drunk. We're drunk."

James pulled back, dazed and wanting nothing more than to have Sirius Black under his hands and in his mouth once again. "Drunk?" James pouted, petulantly.

"Yes, James," Sirius sat up on his elbow, pushing James out of the way to do the same. "We're drunk. We're not thinking straight."

James looked at Sirius, the angles and planes of his face, the smoothness of his skin, that mane of raven hair that James wanted to tangle his fingers in and never let go.

"Nope, not straight at all," James murmured.

Sirius gaped at him for a moment, letting out a surprised chuckle. Then he surged forward to capture his lips once again.

It was like Sirius couldn't help himself. He hummed into the kiss, reaching up to card his fingers through James' hair. Sirius gave a gentle tug on the strands, and James felt it all the way to the base of his spine, moaning wantonly into Sirius' mouth.

"Fuck, James," Sirius groaned, the noise only spurring him on.

Sirius moved to put a knee between James' legs, and the pressure was so exquisite James thought he would combust right there. He let out a whine, grabbing at hips, clothes and skin, clutching Sirius closer.

The light turned on then, a voice breaking them from their hormone cloud. "Prongs? Padf--"

Remus stood in the hallway in his pajamas, squinting from the light, and probably from the confusing scene in front of him. James bit his lip, wanting to laugh again, but when he looked closer, he realized that Remus wasn't confused, he was horrified. Frowning, James looked to Sirius, who was flushed and anguished.

Sirius pushed off of James, sitting up and allowing a rush of cold air to slip between them.

"Remus," Sirius said, guilty and pleading.

Remus said nothing, face stony. He just turned and went back to his room. Sirius buried his face in his hands, while James watched on, bewildered, his drunken buzz going silent.

Read Part 2 here!

[shivstar]

Throwing out a wish that someone who is a decent author (cause I am not) will write a story about James and Sirius finally getting their head out of their arses and getting together.

But the main thing I want is - Lily, Remus (and Regulus too if you please,) are so so jealous of these two.

Because Remus had been mooning over Sirius ( I do not subscribe to wolfstar but still feel that Remus is that wet sock of a guy who will feel attracted to the leather wearing god that is Sirius Black even though James Potter is the one who treated him the best. We do not get to chose who we crush on. So there is that.)

And Remus was okay in his silent pinning as long as Sirius didn't get what he wanted and that is James Potter. But now he has to be the audience of James finally pulling it together.

Lily because in all the fics featuring Marauders I have read, whether it being Jily or Jegulus or Prongsfoot or general fics of that era, every time it is James Potter proposing to her and her turning her nose up and declining him then we see that James is all grown up miraculously at least as far as she is concerned and they live happily ever after.

So, I wish just one fic where by the time she comes around, James is over her and they just past by because there was no time where they both had feelings for each other. Now, Lily is left with her feelings for James but James is now pinning for his bestie.

And Regulus because all the jegulus fictions have made me want a fic where reality is shown. Regulus left crying angry tears that not only Sirius got the best friend one could ever have but a best boyfriend too...

Ahhh. Why do we need to show that all the love interest skirt away as soon as the main pairing get together.

Let Lily, Remus spew years in their unrequited feelings. Let them be sad and not being able to get over it for once while James and Sirius are none the wiser and are living blissfully in their own little world....

This is the picture perfect story for me.....

The happily ever after

[lionmythflower]

unrequited love makes me so sad. especially when it's between two people that are best friends and have grown up with each other. It reminds me of me and the girl I like and I actually relate to it so much that it hurts.

[tisajest]

Remus ‘Casanova of Gryffindor tower this everyone’s sexual awakening that’ Lupin

Nah

James ‘funny popular jock who everyone had a crush on’ Potter

[paintmegrey]

🙌Just wanted to post this here too because I forgot:

Regulus throws his hands in the air, he’s had enough. Enough . Whatever this is, it ends right now. “Sirius I don’t understand what your fucking problem is. You’re acting insane. Do you even realize?”

Regulus would be lying if he said Sirius hadn’t pushed his patience to its absolute limit these past few weeks, and he would be an ever bigger liar if he said Sirius wasn’t beginning to scare him. Sirius’ anger is bone deep. It’s so precisely aimed that Regulus always feels the weight of it, the way it clogs his lungs and stops his feet from moving.

“You can’t have him,” Sirius snarls and it’s so bitter. So bitter. Every inch of his body weeps like it’s on fire.

Regulus can’t stand this. It’s always him, he always has to be at fault. The thought alone sickens him. Even though James came to him—somehow Sirius pours all of his blame into Regulus. And he has no shame.

Sirius watches him overflow and choke on it. Because oh, how Sirius could never find a single fault in his precious best friend.

All of Regulus’ frustration, all of his confusion coils and melts inside his body from the burning flames of resent that swirl and threaten to spill out. Promise to.

“I didn’t ask for this Sirius! I didn’t get on my knees and beg for him to come to me! I don’t understand why you’re so obsessed with it.”

“He was mine first! I had him first, Regulus.” Sirius yells and the harsh sound of his desperation practically slices Regulus in half.

It hits him like a cold wave. Consumes him entirely and so suddenly Regulus feels it, the confession of it all crashes into him so hard Regulus nearly stumbles back. But he doesn’t, he just stands perfectly still, watching Sirius wide eyed like the answer will spill right out of him—but it already has. Regulus can barely even breathe the words out, “Sirius. Do you like James?”

Sirius’ entire demeanor changes. The bitterness slips off completely and he’s left in surprise. In agony. Regulus doesn’t miss it, the way Sirius freezes. How the words seem to suffocate him.

Regulus has to shut his eyes and release a trembling breath to stop his voice from shaking, “You like James.”

As soon as Regulus says it the words sit between them like stone. Imbedded into the air around them. There is no way to describe it, the instant grief that falls over them as they stand there, coming to terms with it all. It feels like a punch straight through the gut. It feels like pain .

And what can they even say to each other now? How can they force their voices to crawl out of their throats and speak? Where do they go now? Where do they go from here?

Honestly, yikes.

[regscupid]

i just think there’s something so personal about unrequited bartylus

[wolfstaridiot08]

Feel like this needs to be done, so ALL of Conan Gray songs as marauders and co relationships (includes girls, and Slytherin Skittles, and black sisters)

Killing me - Remus to Sirius (the prank)

Lonely Dancers - Mary and Marlene (hear me out, they are dating Sirius and Remus and Sirius and Remus are clearly hitting it off in the corner drunk so they both sit there sipping their drink, and catch each other's eye and it's like "well, might as well" no real feelings but a nice one night thing)

Alley Rose - jegulus (Regulus worried James will lose him and then actually losing him)

Winner - Sirius to Walburga

Never Ending Song - A Potter and Pureblood Slytherin (Jegulus, Drarry, Scorbus)

Memories - 3rd book Remus to Sirius 

The Exit - Regulus to Sirius (imagine everytime the lyrics say girl, it's James)

Movies - Regulus to Barty (the ex is Evan)

People Watching - Peter (couple in beginning is Jily)

Disaster - Wolfstar

Best Friend - Platonic moonflower (it sounds like prongsfoot, but if you really listen closely it's not)

Astronomy - Nobleflower (it may sound like a Jegulus song but they have one like "socially speaking we were the same, with run away fathers and mothers who drank" that makes it Nobleflower not Jegulus, they're really similar if you think about it)

Yours - James before Lily noticed him

Jigsaw - Bellatrix to everyone (Rita, Voldemort, Her parents, etc;)

Family Line - Andromeda

Summer Child - James

Footnote - Unrequited Marylene

Telepath - Rosekiller

Overdrive - Pandalily

Heather - Regulus to James (Heather is Lily)

Maniac - Quillkiller

The Story - Sirius to Harry (boy and girl is Jily, boy and boy is Wolfstar, me and my friend, Regulus and Sirius) 

Wish You Were Sober - Marylily 

Comfort Crowd - Platonic moonwater

Online Love - Remus and Grant

Checkmate - Mary to Sirius

The Cut That Always Bleeds - Evan to Barty 

Flight or Fight - Sirius arriving after Azkaban to realize Remus has moved on with Grant (this was really hard)

Affluenza - Evan (just listen it's him)

(Can We Be Friends?) - Sirius and James meeting each other for the first time

Little League - The Marauders and co graduating Hogwarts and joining the war (I imagine it's mainly James, Regulus or Remus who are singing) (also the lyric "where did all my friends go" just screams marauders)

The King - Remus to Sirius 

The Other Side - Tedromeda (other side is away from the Black family)

Idle Town - The peace of Gryffindor tower

Generation Why - Platonic moonwater (They would totally run away and just do shit or cause trouble) (obviously not millennials but they didn't even exist at that point so 🤷‍♀️)

Crush Culture - Peter (my aroace boy) 

Greek God - Mary (Gossip Queen and Casanova of Gryffindor tower)

Lookalike - Sorry for this but Regulus to Sirius about James (other options; Regulus to James about Lily, Sirius to Remus about Grant, Pandora to Lily about Mary, or Lily to Pandora about Xeno)

Grow - The black brothers making it out of the family ("we made it out, it seems, I made it out, it seems") 

Fake - James and Lily to Snape (when they say breakup it would be about a friendship breakup)

[thistuesdaynight]

Invincible Part 3

read part 2 here! prongsfoot endgame, unrequited wolfstar angst

Remus was pacing back and forth in his room, fists pressed to his eyes. Wishing that he could erase the memory of Sirius and James from his brain.

Remus isn't stupid.

Anyone could see that James and Sirius were… close.

And as their friend, he knew that better than anyone. But somehow Remus had gotten the idea that he and Sirius could be something, that they were on their way to that. Sirius' smoldering gaze on him when they went out dancing. A flirtatious smile. Embraces that lingered longer than usual.

Naïve. He'd been so naïve to think…

A timid knock at the door, and it was Sirius, of course, but he didn't even bother responding. He just kept pacing and wondering how he could have been so stupid to think that Sirius was doing anything other than having a little bit of fun. He'd seen him do it before with countless other people: a little harmless flirting to pass the time.

Another knock at the door. "Remus?" Sirius' voice was muffled, but he could still hear the pity.

Angry, hurt, and annoyed, Remus swung the door open to reveal Sirius Black staring up at him with sorrowful eyes. And what did it say about Remus that he couldn't help but sigh and let him in?

Sirius ducked inside, as if afraid that Remus would change his mind and slam the door on him. And that's what he should have done. Remus should have told Sirius to go away and toy with someone else's emotions. But he didn't. He let Sirius inside his room and they just stared at each other in silence, because Remus was a glutton for punishment.

After a few moments Remus finally spoke. "What do you want?"

Sirius took a deep breath. "I'm sorry."

Remus clenched his jaw. "What are you sorry for?"

Sirius squeezed his eyes shut as if he'd hoped that he wouldn't have say it explicitly. But no, if Remus suffered, Sirius would too.

"I shouldn't have…" Sirius bit his lip, blowing out a heavy breath. "The kiss just happened. I didn't expect it. And I didn't know that James and I were… I didn't know he felt that way about me."

"You didn't know?" Remus scoffed.

"No!" Sirius exclaimed, eyes wide. "Honestly, Remus. I didn't know."

And it should have made it better, should have made the burning behind his sternum dissipate. But it didn't matter because Remus had known. Remus had seen how the pair looked at each other. He had witnessed it their entire childhood. And he had still allowed himself to flirt with Sirius. He'd still allowed himself to be pulled into his hypnotizing orbit.

"So, what about me?"

"You?" Sirius whispered, eyes glittering with unshed tears.

"Yes." He ground out. "Were you flirting with me just to pass the time? Just for shits and giggles? To bide your time until James made the first move?"

"No! No, I-- I did it because I wanted to. Because-- because I liked-- liked seeing you blush, and--"

"So, to embarrass me then?"

"No, Remus! I--" Sirius looked at him like he was working out a puzzle in his head: confused, intrigued, and realization as the pieces finally fell into place.

"I like you," Sirius continued, his hands clasped tight in front of him. "I do like you. And I-- I-- but James-- James is--"

"You can be just friends with me," Remus interrupted, voice abrupt and matter-of-fact, "but you can't be just friends with James. You can't be just anything with him."

Sirius' eyes were swimming in tears, and he gave a sharp nod in agreement.

And even though Remus was the one to say it, his heart still dropped. He couldn't deny that he'd wished Sirius had disagreed with him. Told him that the one he couldn't be just friends with was Remus. Told him that he didn't want to let him go.

But that was the truth:

For Sirius, James Potter could never be just anything. He was everything.

Even if Remus and Sirius gave it a go, Sirius would have to have James too. He could never give him up. And Remus didn't want that. He couldn't handle that.

"Yeah," Sirius whispered, gaze falling to the floor between them, a single tear dropping to the rug. And Remus couldn't watch him cry. Not over this, not when he was the one who wanted to fall apart.

"Don't worry about it," Remus willed his voice to stay steady for a little longer. "I get it."

And he did get it. He'd spent his time flirting with other people hoping they would make him feel like Sirius did. How could he really be angry, when he'd known all along that it would end up this way?

But that didn't stop the ache in his chest from spreading and taking up residence in his belly: morphing into the kind of ugly jealousy that grew tentacles and claws to pull you under, to keep you close. He turned away from Sirius, not wanting to look at him that way, not wanting the jealousy to make him hate his best friends.

"You do?" Sirius whispered.

"Just get out," Remus croaked, voice wobbling precariously.

He squeezed his eyes closed, waiting for what felt like hours, hearing the door click shut, and feeling the cold stillness of Sirius' absence.

Read part 4 here!

[shivstar]

“Well, I let it go! I am not you Prongs. I don’t put my finger on things and want them for me anyhow. I know where my limits lay. When to step back. Be ready to be disappointed.” Sirius replies calmly.

This is a testament to their years of friendship and respect for each other that James knows that Sirius is saying this with all his love that James had been a spoiled child who had never gotten no for an answer in his life.

Many times, Sirius had himself suggested to Prongs to cut it down in his overly romantic proposition to Lily. And although he felt a little jealous of Lily, he had asked not because he wanted James to stop focussing on Lily or anything else nefarious. But simply because he saw that James was making Lily a little uncomfortable.

His friend has his heart in the right place but he wants someone to reign him in and tell him when he is crossing the line.

But unlike Lily, Sirius never thought that James was doing it maliciously or making fun of her. He was just being a teenage boy with hormonal overload. And coming from a childhood in which nothing was left to be desired.

Sirius never claimed that his best friend was the best specimen of human being. He knows that James comes with his passionate personality. But still, he loves him, faults and all.

James had grown a lot from those days. Just like they all have. Just like everyone does with age.

No one ever existed who didn’t commit atrocious acts at that age. No one is perfect. And the upbringing and learning which pureblood kids like Him and James get, it was no surprise that they turned out so arrogant and insufferable.

The point is recognising that your actions are hurtful and strive to be a better human.

[saintsenara]

I feel like in the Sirius/Severus fic I’ve come across the roles often tend to be quite gendered with Sirius either being jocky dom or service top vibes paired with a subby Snape who’s either cock hungry or somehow fragile or a bossy power bottom y Snape. Or the opposite with Snape as dominant and Sirius submissive, usually those ones lean quite into BDSM power exchange element or like caretaker/pet vibes. I’ve enjoyed both and also the rare few I’ve seen where they aren’t written so gendered and both enjoy a range of roles both literally position wise and power dynamic wise.

Wondering what your take is on the dynamic that best fits them in your mind? Obviously the inherent power struggle between them in canon lends itself to power dynamics being part of their chemistry but I can’t decide where I fall on thinking which side of the dynamic they each best fit, or if one where they switch is more in character

thank you very much for the ask, anon!

i don't have a fixed preference for the sexual dynamics in the snack i read - and i've definitely noticed the vibes you mention - but how sirius and snape would act in the bedroom is a question i've had to ponder quite a lot recently, since i'm writing some snack - the war of the roses - myself...

generally, i don't go in for a strict top/bottom division - so when it comes to who's putting what where, my view is that they'll switch.

when it comes to the power dynamic between the two, and the emotional response the two have to sex, i have more to say...

i generally see snape as somebody who's inclined to consider themselves to be inferior to their partner - and, as his canonical power dynamic with both dumbledore and voldemort attests, to think of himself as someone whose role is to serve - but not as someone who is submissive.

by which i mean, i think that snape would view his position in the dynamic as one of supplication, worship, offering, service. and so on. but that this would come without the consensual surrendering of control which defines a classic dom/sub relationship - and also without the consensual surrendering to being cared for which defines a caretaker/pet dynamic. snape canonically prizes his ability to deal with things on his own. i don't think he's someone who wants to be looked after.

what he does want, instead, is to be acknowledged by his partner as unworthy [a sinner who can never atone for what he has done] and yet loved anyway.

but - of course - this desire lurks behind a layer of self-loathing as thick as the earth's crust. and so i do think - at first - snape would be likely to give the impression that he was inclined to be standoffish - and, indeed, cruel - in bed. no negotiation, no aftercare, no acknowledgement that sirius is also involved... just a mess all around.

sirius, too, is someone who i think positions themselves as the worshipper in a god/worshipper dynamic. i particularly think this because i believe that unrequited prongsfoot is canon - sirius' devotion to james, especially after james' death, is quasi-religious. he too thinks of himself as a sinner unable to atone for his sins [as he tells harry in prisoner of azkaban, he thinks of himself as directly responsible for james' death], unworthy of being truly loved.

sirius' self-loathing canonically comes with a willingness to suffer. so, when snape lashes out... he's going to end up taking it.

that they're narrative mirrors is why i love snack as a pairing - and i like the way that this can be taken in any direction when it comes to the sexual dynamic between the two. egregious cruelty in an attempt to drive the other person away which gradually gives way to something tender, allowing each "worshipper" to realise that the other sees him as the "god"? sign me up.

the question i'd like to see more snack authors wrestle with, though? how much experience the two have.

i'll confess now that i never vibe with the characterisation of sirius - whatever his orientation is written as being - which portrays him as sexually [and romantically - i don't think the man's ever been on a real date either] experienced prior to going to azkaban.

this is almost entirely because of the unrequited prongsfoot thing - sirius strikes me as the sort of person who would endure his love for james in solemn silence, rather than seeing other people in an attempt to get over him - but i also think that, as much as i love the common fanon that the wizarding world is a queer utopia, it's going to be because someone from sirius' background would have a lot of extremely thorny feelings about being interested in men.

[including the fear that james would detest him for his sexuality. something i've done in the war of the roses is write james as someone who isn't a bigot, per se, but who - like many teenage boys - nonetheless assumes that his best mate is heterosexual, only discusses sex and sexuality with him with this assumption in mind, and makes plenty of casually homophobic remarks (stereotypes about behaviour or hobbies or appearance, etc.) which he never realises terrify sirius. if sirius ever came out to him, james would - of course - be nothing short of accepting. but sirius never feels confident enough to find this out.]

snape, too, was undoubtedly raised in a homophobic family - and he is canonically subjected to bullying which has a homophobic undertone - but he's someone who i imagine would embrace his queerness as a sort of "fuck you" to the world.

[not least because the masculinity of many of the death eaters - and voldemort's masculinity in particular, especially since, in snape's story, he serves a parallel role to dumbledore - is reasonably non-normative. voldemort is extremely easy to read as queer - and lucius malfoy's relationship with snape can also be read as having some sort of homoerotic undertone.]

snape is someone who - unlike sirius - has the opportunity to explore his sexuality after 1981 [even with the shadow of the aids crisis - which provides a really interesting context through which to examine snape's attitude to sexuality, pleasure, nihilism, and death], and so i really like mixing the idea that snape is the more experienced of the two in with the supplicatory dynamic described above.

[tisajest]

Exciting angsty dynamic I want to add to one or both of my fics:

Sirius had a crush on James, he eventually got over it for the most part once James got with Lily, but it nevertheless never fully went away. Even after James died. Sirius’s feelings towards James are kinda fossilized at what they were when James died.

When he learns that James and Regulus saw each other in Hogwarts, he loses his shit for many reasons, including that he ends up projecting his old crush onto James. He initially thinks that James only dated Regulus because he actually wanted to date Sirius and oh there are so many mixed emotions in that.

Especially since that was one of Regulus’s insecurities about their relationship at the time and it causes him to lash out.