She/her. 27. Main: tokrutaCurrent obsession: BatfamOther fandoms: Star Wars, Naruto, Hannibal, House M.D., othersBlog goals: get me more involved in fandom after over a decade of on again/off again fandom engagement
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Ok so might accidentally end up doxxing myself with this one but here we go…
The Himboification of Dick Grayson, and Why It Sucks From A Gypsy Perspective
Warning: this is a long one! Also tw for brief mentions of Dick’s canonical SA/rapes, and discussions of purity cultures.
And disclaimer: none of this is intended to slut-shame anyone, so hopefully it doesn’t come across like that. I’m just hoping to explain the weird sexualisation of gypsies in the media, vs our more conservative attitude to sex. This also isn’t meant to shame anyone or tell you how you must imagine Dick Grayson - if you like dark skinned, more-fem Dick, then you keep on enjoying that! This is just what I’ve noticed as someone who is a gypsy, and some patterns I’ve seen in how Dick is portrayed and received.
So, I have a lot of problems with the depiction/perception of Dick Grayson, and particularly the hyper-sexualisation we see. I am not alone in this, and I know it’s something which has been discussed a fair bit in the past.
Honestly, I don’t even know where a lot of this came from? It’s only really in the past decade or so that we start to see it emerge properly in canon; prior to this, whilst it was agreed that Dick is good looking, he was kind of able to get around as a normal guy, and was praised a lot more for his capabilities and athleticism than for his looks. But with the New 52, there seemed to be this shift where Dick is really reduced to his looks. The Grayson/Spyral comics are particularly guilty of this: so many times we see Dick called an idiot (even if somewhat affectionally), sexualised (even by teen-aged girls when he is in his twenties), and reduce himself to his looks (Dick himself even says something along the lines of ‘It’s a good thing I’m pretty’). You can argue that the whole point of Spyral is that Dick was undercover, but it’s something we still see today (I’m thinking the 2025 Valentine’s Day Damian storyline). We can dismiss this as being ‘out of character’, but with how it’s been a gradually accepted part of DC canon over the last decade especially, I don’t know how long we can reasonably make that excuse.
The gypsy perspective isn’t necessarily the main reason I hate this, it’s just one which I feel capable of offering. (if you’re new here, hi, I’m a traveller/gypsy/showman/whatever you want to call me from a fairground and circus family in the UK. I’ve always stuck to fairgrounds myself but a lot of my family were/are still with the circus so I’m not an idiot and it’s all closely related anyway. I also grew up speaking Romani so there’s that.)
Other reasons I hate it include: the double standards of objectifying Dick being treated as almost acceptable because Dick is a man; Dick as an SA/rape survivor; and the fact that it’s bloody stupid because Dick is a highly competent vigilante and detective - a partner of Batman, then Batman himself, who even on his sick days is solving cold cases for fun. He is a genius ffs.
But anyway, onto the potentially doxxing gypsy perspective.
I know that Dick’s ‘gypsy rep’ has been a bit touch and go over the years. Grayson’s run is quite infamous for her handling of this (the whole internalised racism she gave him during his Tevis mob era, and Bruce’s stereotyping in Gotham Knights still makes me feel icky), and it’s only recently that it’s really been discussed again, mostly being ignored by writers in between. However, I’ve also mentioned before that to me, the writer with the most accurate representation is ironically Morrison (because he wasn’t trying). The thing is, even if writers have kind of circumnavigated the whole ‘gypsy’ thing (a term I use because it’s common in the UK, and is one Dick uses himself, alongside ‘carney’ which is the American English version of the British ‘showman’, a subtype of “gypsy”), it’s been canon since Day One that Dick is from the circus. And due to how circuses work, especially with the hereditary nature and how it was more common for the gypsy family who ran the circus to perform in the 40s when Dick was introduced, even if it wasn’t explicitly stated, Dick Grayson has kind of canonically (or at the very least, subtextually) been a gypsy since his introduction.
So now that bit of house keeping is out of the way, why does the himboification of Dick Grayson really annoy me, as a gypsy/showman/carney myself?
So, the first issue I have is really the exoticism. There’s been a large push especially from fan-artists (though it has been very subtlety reflected in canon) to have Dick portrayed with darker skin, to more “accurately” portray him as Romani (spoiler: this is not accurate). There is a fantastic post which explains this further, but it’s actually kind of colourist to say that Dick Grayson is whitewashed. I’m a full gypsy, not a diddakoi or anything, and I’m pasty as fuck. Sure, my dad was often mistaken as South Asian in his youth, as his family are all very olive-skinned and tan dark in the summer, but my mum is white as a sheet (much to her own father’s annoyance) and I take after her. This is the case for a lot of us, especially in the North of Europe. And yet, I am still ethnically a gypsy. Dick does not lose his ‘gypsy card’ for being white. And the fact that many of the fandom view it as necessary for Dick to have a darker complexion to fit this perception of what a Romani person looks like (especially since this perception largely comes from gorjas who’ve never knowingly met a gypsy before in their lives) is not only inaccurate, but kind of problematic. I don’t mind seeing a darker Dick Grayson, but it’s how people act like he has to be dark skinned to be Romani which is frankly just incorrect.
This is doubly problematic when people use his being Romani to exoticise and sexualise Dick. Like with Esmerelda in the Hunchback of Notre Dame, I’ve often seen the fandom (and even canon, to some degree) use Dick’s heritage to make him seem other, and almost remove some barriers for proper conduct (i.e. be overly affectionate, etc). We see this kind of sexualisation with a lot of non-white characters, like Talia for example, and I think that the push for a visibly non-white, exotic Dick Grayson does fall in line with the same kind of racist hyper-sexualisation we see there. Alternatively, maybe this idea of a ‘sexy gypsy from the circus’ has its roots somewhat in real life, but actually results from major misunderstandings: until the sixties, it was common for circuses to have peep shows, with girls outside advertising it in their underwear; the misunderstanding comes in that these girls were not gypsies themselves (see my next point) but hired gorja staff who worked for or alongside us. It’s not unreasonable, then, that a child visiting the circus (and thus shaping their idea of what a circus is) up until the 60s might misinterpret this as being related to gypsies ourselves (songs like Cher’s Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves, also add to this misconception that we’re the ones in the peep shows when we are not, even if that song is a bop) - if that child then worked for DC or was in the fandom, as writers/artists/fan-fic authors/fanartists in their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, from the 80s to the 2000s, they might have mistakenly thought this was part of our culture, and not a business running parallel to ours (I hope this makes sense?). This is just a theory, but one of the only places I can think of this stereotype coming from, besides just plain racism?
Anyway, this hyper-sexualisation is ironic because a big part of our culture is actually that it is a purity culture, with equal expectations on both sexes to maintain modesty and virginity prior to marriage (of course, it’s a bit more relaxed nowadays but the expectation is still there, even if you’re in your 30s and unmarried!). This is drilled into us from a very young age, so even if Dick was removed from his culture by the age of eight, in a real life situation, he would likely already be well versed in this aspect of our culture. As I mentioned earlier, even before Dick was explicitly stated to be a gypsy, I think it’s definitely possible to read a gypsy upbringing into his character, even if unintentional, as written pre-Grayson - there’s one discussion Dick has about his anxieties about moving in with Kory whilst unmarried (I forget which comic this is from), and I cannot help but feel this resonate with me as a gypsy.
Then there’s the element of dress. TV shows like ‘My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding’ have done a lot to convince people that we all dress immodestly, but first of all: MBFGW focuses on another subtype of gypsy, Irish travellers - not showmen/circus like Dick is portrayed to be; and secondly - it’s such a small percentage of the population who do dress like that, that it cannot be taken as truth. I’ve a fair few cousins who are half-Irish traveller, and none of them dress like that. You’re far more likely to find a gypsy man wearing a shirt, a jumper, a pair of jeans, and boots than any of the gelled hair and vest top combos you see on there.
It’s a big thing that Dick has some questionable fashion choices (which are often featured as justification for his supposed ‘himbo-ness’), and this is definitely true in canon (Discowing, that one polka dot shirt, the mullet era… oh Dick, you disaster), but I’ve seen a lot of people correlate that directly with his growing up in a circus. As someone from that background, let me tell you that is just a Dick thing. It has nothing to do with being from the circus, we all dress rather normally - I’m sat writing this in a blue T-shirt, a pair of navy jeans, and a pair of boots - aka the kind of thing Dick wears more often than not in later not-the-80s canon! The thing is, this kind of presumption is something I’ve experienced myself in real life. I was doing some charity work, and there was a press element - when the journalist found out I was a gypsy from a circus family, and that I had horses, I was told to come to the photoshoot in my ‘little pink sparkly dress or whatever it is I ride in.’ I ride in jeans and a T-shirt btw. They just presumed because my family owned circuses, I must do vaulting and perform and I don’t - I worked in the kiosk or on the rides. The point is, people make a lot of presumptions about us just because we’re from the circus, and it’s not accurate.
Then there’s also the fanon effeminising of Dick: often giving him softer, feminine features, make-up, etc, to make him ‘pretty’. Like with the skin-colour issue, draw Dick however you like. You do you. But don’t use his being a gypsy to justify that. Tbh, the vast majority of gypsy men I know are extremely masculine: physically, the cis-men of our community tend to be quite tall, stocky, with calloused hands and broad shoulders, by virtue of the fact that we have to build up everywhere we work, and that’s a lot of physical labour. In Europe, there’s a big drinking culture, and playing football, etc. Men also tend to dress quite masc and practically for blue-collar work. And whilst I am sure that there are some more gender-fluid gypsies out there (I have quite a few gypsy friends who are openly queer, or trans), I have seen so many posts on Tumblr with Dick presented as being quite soft and feminine looking, with make-up etc, and when people in the notes ask why he’s drawn like that, the artist replies ‘He’s Rom!’ and I just want to facepalm. You can be a gypsy and masc-presenting. You can be a gypsy and fem-presenting. However, being a gypsy ≠ being feminine, and I’m really sick of seeing it. As someone who studies ancient Persia (like, I have a degree in it and am writing an academic book), the similarities are so obvious with how the Greeks portrayed the Achaemenids as effeminate, and like with the Achaemenids, it’s just not accurate. Again, if that’s how you headcanon Dick, then that’s great, but let’s not pretend that Dick being a gypsy has anything to do with it.
So I’ve now discussed the sexualisation aspect of Dick’s character a bit (I’ve probably left something out but oh well), and now I’ll speak a bit about the ‘dumb’ part. This is a far more recent thing, I think, and I suspect it might be because: a) people have weirdly tagged Tim as the Smart!Robin (they’re all geniuses) and thought this somehow means the rest must be dumb?, b) because of how sexualised Dick is, they’ve gone full himbo (see: Dick in the Grayson comics saying ‘at least [he’s] pretty’). However, from a gypsy point of view, this really annoys me as well.
When travelling with the fairground/circus, it is difficult to get a stable education. We tend to go to school in the winter months, but in the warmer months, we are more homeschooled (maybe using education packs from our normal school), or at larger fairs/events, a special teacher may be present. It used to be common that if we were at a ground for two weeks or more, we’d be enrolled temporarily in a local school for that time, but this isn’t really realistic today. However, it is also true that traditionally, our schooling was quite halted. Whilst less common, it’s still fairly normal for us to leave school early - for example, I left school entirely aged 13 to work full time on the fairgrounds (yes this goes against child labour laws but nobody actually cares). As a result of this, a lot of us have very limited education (illiteracy is not unheard of in the older generations), so it’s not uncommon for people to mistake this for us being stupid. But the thing is, this isn’t true. My dad left school aged 11, and eventually got a gorja job in his late 30s - he is now the top in the country at his job. I left school when I was 13, but decided I wanted to go to university, so I sat my GCSEs without studying, got into college, and whilst also working a full time job, got my A Levels and got into what is ranked the number one university in the world. When I got in, people really could not believe that someone of my background could do it, so it was on national news and television. It’s not that other travellers/gypsies are incapable - for the most part, we just don’t see the point as we’ve got a job and a culture wrapped up in one which we want to keep alive and successful. The point is, it’s so common for us to be underestimated, and part of what I loved about Dick’s character is that he is unapologetically clever. But over the last decade especially, Dick is once again being reduced to just a pretty face. Now, growing up, it was a cultural expectation to take care of your looks, and whilst I think I always looked ok (washed hair every day, showered, ironed matching clothes), it was not my primary interest in the same way that it was for a lot of my peers. So having a character who was from the same background as me and allowed to be intelligent and respected for it in a way I sometimes wasn’t was really special. So to see that intellect being taken away from Dick, somewhat, does strike me. If Dick is reduced to just being pretty and flirty, that’s as stereotypical as it comes in my community, and I love it when he can be more. I’m not saying that Dick has to be super serious all the time (that’s what makes Dick’s character so great, even if he is a bit more serious in canon than in fanon, though to be fair that’s probably because canon is a lot harder on him than fanon), but he can be hot and flirty without being dumb and overly objectified.
I hope this makes sense and I also hope that none of my relatives or uni friends see this and immediately work out it’s me - there’s a reason I started a whole side blog to separate my silly little nerdy interests from anything my friends might see - but Himbo Dick Grayson is something which I can’t get behind. Let him be smart. Let him be hot but not overly exoticised.
#much to think about thanks op and others!#i'll definitely need to do more/better research in the future beyond wikipedia yt & the few articles i read before designing my personal#dick grayson headcanons. i've been meaning to update it for a while and now i can make them much more thoughtfully#thanks again for sharing what you have with us especially with the potential risk of self doxxing ❤️❤️❤️#romani culture#dc#dick grayson#romani dick grayson#educational
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I was never going to watch the stupid Harry Potter tv show (fuck JKR) but these casting choices definitely make me firm in my decision.
If only I could guarantee not having to witness the inevitable discourse coming
#i already know people are gonna watch the damn show#pirated or not#but fuck i see discourse for shows and movies i haven’t seen i know this will happen with hp#obligatory disclaimer that i don’t hate or wish any kind of harm on the actors (especially the kids)#just wish this show didn’t exist in the first place#anti jkr#anti harry potter#ig#i unfortunately still hold fondness for the series and some hp fics are in my comfort library#(i got into it as preteen in the late aughts when i was simultaneously discovering fandom leave me alone lol)#i don’t participate in hp fandom but i will never hate it the way i hate jkr
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I have this second cousin who was brutally murdered last year.
She was a couple years younger than me and, as far as I'm aware, I never met her.
But she haunted my thoughts for weeks after.
I looked up articles about it, news interviews, Facebook posts, tiktoks, etc.
But I only even knew about her because her life was tragically cut short. If she had lived, chances are we still would have never met and if we had, she would have been just another second cousin to me. As it stands currently, I can only point out a hand of them, and she wouldn't have been one of them.
It really is tragic how sometimes people only enter your orbit of awareness through tragedy. And linger on the outskirts as ghosts.
For obvious reasons, I'm not going to name her, but
Descanse en paz, primita 💔🕊️
#personal#femicide#murder#i wonder how different my life would have been if my parents had moved back to mexico to raise me and my siblings#they're both from the same pueblo and had/have family there#most of my american cousins were born here because their parents followed my parents (my parents are both the eldest siblings)#if they had never left/had returned back...would their younger siblings have still moved to the us?#would my cousins still have been born or would i have a different set of cousins?#anyway i rambled about this bc if i had grown up in my parents pueblo. or guadalajara maybe (my dad lived there for a few years and has#family currently living there)#i would have known my second cousin. i would have been much closer to all my other second cousins as well#all of my maternal grandparents' grandchildren are american. all of us (my paternal grandparents...grandma yes grandpa no)#and i've been recently mourning my nieces and nephews lost connection to mexico. sure we still have family in mexico but its not the same#my nieces and nephews are 3rd gen americans. all of their cousins grandparents uncles and aunts are also american#(my parents got naturalized. 3/4 of the other grandparents are us born and the other i think also got naturalized but tbh idk)#idk just the passage of time getting to me i guess. another year older another year closer and all that
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Batman and Robin: Year One #7
#he's so cute how can you ever possibly hate this little guy?#batman and robin: year one#dc#robin#dick grayson#batman#bruce wayne
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“Comparison is the thief of joy” and “everyone is on their own journey” is all well and good but
Sometimes
You can’t help comparing
Especially when you’re your own worst enemy
#personal#hi yes hello its me miss self sabotage 12 years running#i am not exaggerating#i would get pulled aside by teachers about my self sabotaging tendencies#i truly do subscribe to the ‘your life is only over once you’re dead’ philosophy really i do#but every day is a battle with my brain to do anything i need to#im not unique in this obv but still#cant help thinking about all the missed opportunities bc of me myself and i#literally so many#i only have myself to blame here but i really truly wish i could redo the last decade#i graduated hs almost a decade ago now and i have so little to show for it#vent post#might delete later#i need therapy but i have neither the insurance nor the money for it :/
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*based on a post i saw on my dashboard some days ago, idr who posted it sorry :(*
The Flying Graysons don't stop flying in Gotham, they live to move on with their son and Bruce never meets Dick
Still, a child hero/vigilante was only a question of when, never if, so someone else, maybe Roy (mr 1941 here) becomes this universe's proof of concept
The titans still become a team, but they do so a bit later than any canon timeline, and when they do, they include the New Teen Titans crew
While away on a mission, the team decides to stay in town after the job is done when someone (maybe Kori maybe someone else) notices that Haly's circus is in currently performing there
They decide to go, since most of them have never gone to the circus before and the main act, The Flying Graysons, have only become more notorious with time
The team go, enjoy the show, and when the time comes for the Graysons, Dick is front and center and he takes everyone's breathes away
Kory is especially impressed with him
She decides to stay after the show to see if she can talk to him
They are mutually charmed and Dick decides to shoot his shot by asking Kory out on a date, she agrees
Everyone is ready to leave, but Kory stays for the date. The Titans don't have any ongoing missions at the moment and they can easily reach her should the situation change
They go out and have a great time
Then they go out again
and again
They can't go out every night (obv) but Haly's is stopped for the month and Titan's Tower isn't far (for Kory, that is) so they go out as often as possible
They move fast, semi-convinced that their feelings won't last, but they persist
When the circus moves to their next stop, Dick asks Kory if she wants to continue their relationship, to officially become boyfriend/girlfriend, to which she agrees
And so, supermodel Kory Anders starts dating circus aerialist Richard "Dick" Grayson and blow the internet up with their combined beauty
Even the jeering haters get mocked because, yeah, he may be a circus performer (derogatory for some people unfortunately) but he is undeniably gorgeous and charming
Kory Anders and Starfire are separate entities in the public eye but Kory doesn't like keeping her hero work secret from Dick now that they're officially together
When she tells him, she brings him to the tower after to meet her friends
It's like something clicks into place
The Titans family had found their missing link in Dick
A few years after they first started dating, a part-time Titan, with a name that honors Kory and Tamaran, debuts
#that last point is bc he cant really be nightwing yknow? he and clark aren't friends like that here#but one night after a particularly scary incident (in either of their high risk lives) kory tells dick a tamaranean legend#and it moves him he identifies with it and when the time comes to pick his name he decides to use it (with kory's enthusiastic permission)#dickkory#dick grayson#koriand'r#nightwing#starfire#dc comics#dc titans#teen titans#i dont think i did the idea nugget justice#but do you see the vision?#my fanfic writing#kinda
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Baked the blueberry loaf again for my mom (she really liked it last time) but added wild blueberry cream cheese frosting
That shit's so good, I really ate (literally too)
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I honestly feel like most of my problems would be solved by walking more
and. YeT.
#personal#okay most is a bit of an exaggeration (not by much i dont think)#but it would fix me fr fr#walking
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I look at the Star Wars and Marvel fandoms sometimes and think about how different they are now. We're never getting those old fandoms back.
It's not inherently a bad thing, all living things must change, but I won't lie and say I don't occasionally feel this in my soul

#personal#fandom#star wars fandom#marvel fandom#it makes me feel old#i mean i guess i am old in terms of fandom#i have almost 17 years of experience in fandom spaces#i could quite literally tell a young fandom dweller that i've been here before they were born (as im sure some can say to me lol)#idk i was just thinking of my fave star wars fics from 2012 (i became a star wars fan at like 15. im pretty sure i got into it#bc of a crossover fic i read lol)#and how different the source material pulled from is#before disney#i cant help but miss it sometimes#at least anakin still remains a fan favorite ig#and if youre familiar with my blog i dont even need to bring up why i miss the old marvel fandom#bruce banner i miss you so much buddy
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made carrot cake loaf today and my god
i forgot just how much i love carrot cake 🤤
i'll need to make it more often, it's so fucking good
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not to bnha post in 2025 but fuck i love dabihawks
10/10 ship no notes
#ship so powerful it could never become canon without unraveling the very fabric of the universe#dabihawks#truly one of the ships of all time
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it was fine so
1.75/2
baked today for the first time in a hot second, made 2 loafs
hoping it's 2 for 2 bc the pull apart bread loaf was pretty good
#personal#i've made better is all im saying but it was edible and pretty alright imo#next time will be better#baking
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baked today for the first time in a hot second, made 2 loafs
hoping it's 2 for 2 bc the pull apart bread loaf was pretty good
#the second thing is a blueberry loaf cake#im hoping i didnt put too many blueberries. i tend to forget the sciences of baking in the prep phase lol#its out of the oven just need it to cool#personal#baking
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I had the worst thought earlier
The Hilson motorcycle ending with “enjoy yourself” playing slowly transitions into Hallucination Amber’s rendition. The scene fades to black as Amber laughs, and House wakes up, still in Mayfield.
#on the one hand yay house gets a do over#on the other hand that would have been the absolute worst way to end the show#house md#hilson#gregory house#amber volakis#hallucination amber volakis#im sure someone else has thought of this before
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People get weirdly nationalistic over the stupidest shit istg
#this is not limited to us americans btw#not even close#just saw a twitter post#the replies man twitter is truly a place of degenerates and weirdos and yet it draws me in like a fly to shit#idk what to even tag this#politics#kinda#internet brainrot#perhaps#since im sure a lot of this weirdo behavior can be attributed to our general onlineness#twitter#bc twitter is hell but it compels me so
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The worst part about missing Sam is that I refuse to rewatch Spn bc of how much I hate Dean
#anti dean winchester#i want to tag sam but dont want this post in the general sam tag#so...#boy king samuel fucking winchester#will have to do for now#ok i can typically tolerate dean most of the time tbh#but then other times he pisses me off so much i just have to walk away from the screen#and reentering the spn fandom would genuinely worsen my life tenfold
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We need to start making characters "uglier" too many people let the character's looks dictate their entire perception of them
#i like me a pretty character too but like pls be so fucking real#fandom#anti dean winchester#tagging that bc he's the inspiration behind the post#if dean were played by a more average looking man...
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