#until i write everything and understand the right succession

[hirschkuh-traumvoll]

♡♡♡

alastor kisses slowly, almost chastely in the beginning, but gradually his kiss becomes bolder. his long tongue embraces yours and then delves forward, brushing against your palate, making you shiver in his arms as he explores you deeper and deeper until you begin to suffocate. his sharp claws are barely pressed to your jaw, keeping your face lifted up to him, while his thumbs gently caress your cheek in a circular motion. butterflies in your stomach flutter, and you feel hot. he keeps your jaw cupped in his palms and as his kiss becomes stronger they slide lower to your neck. his long sharp-clawed fingers are wrapped around your fragile neck, whilst his thumbs leisurely caress your adam's apple up and down. his fingers move with the same pace as his tongue in your mouth, it's intoxicating and dangerous, passionate and dark.

alastor parts his lips from you for merely a second for you to take a quick breath in before he covers your lips with his again. he doesn't hasten, he devours you slowly, he's savouring you, enjoying every flavour of you, which he finds in your taste, in your moans, in your trembling, in your touch to his chest.

you are a meal for him he could never get enough of. he gorges on you with the unsatisfied gluttony as a wendigo he is.

←♡ precursor

consequences ♡→

[luckykiwiii101]

😭😭😭 I ENTERED THE VOID STATE AND IT'S LITERALLY CHANGED MY WHOLE VOCAL CORDS!!! Like, WHOA. 😱 You guys don't even understand. Before all of this, I was a mess. Lemme tell you the full tea.

So like, I used to cry at night, scrolling through Tumblr, seeing everyone else manifesting their dream lives while I was stuck in the same old cycle. 😩 You KNOW the feeling! I even DELETED my Tumblr at one point because I was SO sick of seeing everyone else actually living their dreams, but then I would redownload it like the next day because I couldn't resist!! And then...the whole studying-for-exams thing? LOL don't even get me started. Like, I'd be like "I'll just enter the void state before my exams and manifest straight A's or whatever" (spoiler alert: I didn't.) I'm never really failed any subjects. At least not badly😬

I was starting to get frustrated, right? So then, one day, I was like OKAY, FINE. TIME TO ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING. And that's when I started SATS (State Akin To Sleep). It sounded crazy at first, but honestly, I was down to try anything! (Even while coping with my MADD. Yes I'm one of them. No I'm never getting rid of it.) So I started visualizing my dream life, and LET ME TELL YOU, I GOT SO DETAILED. I was in Velaris with Rhysand (I'm an ACOTAR fan), feeling his WINGS!!! I was literally touching them and just imagining how amazing it would feel to be surrounded by magic and beauty. And I wasn't even thinking about entering the void or anything. I was just feeling the vibezzz. Like, I know that it felt real, and that's what mattered.

Fast forward to a month and 3 weeks of doing SATS (Yes, I skipped some days, but WHO CARES? 😤). And guess what happened? I woke up today, and BOOM! I was in the void! Like, I didn’t even need to know how it happened, it just DID. I just said "Anything i say comes true exactly the way I want it." I said it over and over and over. Until I decided it was enough. Then I thought of leaving, and I was back in my room. Thank goodness I didn't think of leaving when I first entered, because this was literally like a lifetime opportunity I couldn't screw it up.

I actually had to safeguard myself, by saying "I am not impulsive". And the urge to say nonsense just disappeared ✨ That was the first thing I said when I woke up. So I wouldn't say any crazy shit. And so I was sitting there, ready to just start manifesting everything I ever wanted. I even started writing my script. maybe that was just an adrenaline rush.

But here’s the thing...GUYS, NOW THAT I’M HERE....in my room with this "ability"...I’m actually kinda missing my old self. Not the sad, desperate me, but the me who was SUPER EXCITED about just wandering around Velaris at night and dreaming of all this happening. Like, I actually miss that excitement. Looking through Pinterest and seeing the interior of a mansion, and be like "I'll be there soon", seeing pics of tasty food on instagram and saying "I'll eat that soon" I know it sounds crazy, but when you finally get everything you thought you wanted, it’s like...IDK...a little too perfect? 😬

Like, I know this sounds wild— and weird, but it’s TRUE. It's true for me right now. I'm gonna be blunt. The success story is not as exciting when you’re like actually living it, you know? Or maybe it's just me. Like, I’m just over here typing this at 4 AM, feeling kinda melancholic. And kinda (scared). Yes, I wanna enjoy my desires, but... I don't know. I don't want to get too curious and stray from Velaris trying to find out the secret behind ALL of this. For goodness sake, this is crazy!!! My voice is a genie!. It's already bugging me now. I know, I KNOW, this is probably not what you expected from a success story, but I’m being REAL.

I’ve written like 3 pages of my script so far, and I’m just gonna finish it tomorrow. No rush. Because honestly? Rhysand’s not going anywhere. 😉

And YOU can do this too. I know some of you might feel like “Oh, it’s impossible, I keep failing!” but like, just take a second and realize YOU'RE ALREADY GETTING CLOSER THAN YOU THINK. I was stuck too, and look where I am now. Don't look at the part where— I'm kinda ungrateful. But the part where I'm finally gonna meet Rhysand. YOU’RE SO CLOSE. It’s all coming together, trust me! 💖✨

But yeah, it’s 4 AM, I’m gonna go back to bed now, lol. Don’t let the void stress you out, okay? Take it easy. You’ve got this. ✨✌🏼

Also, love you kiwiii💖💖💖💖

SUCCESS STORY

XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GRL

First of all, I’m so happy for you and proud of you. You really put your foot down and gave yourself what you wanted.

I can understand what you mean when you say the success story isn’t exciting when you’re actually living it. But when it’s right in-front of you, it doesn’t feel like this out of reach thing you’ve put on a pedestal anymore. It’s just yours. And it feels normal.

But for some people, I think a big part of that came from the dopamine rush people would feel when they’d tell themselves that they’ll have it one day. And when they have it in the 3D, they just feel peaceful with it because there’s nothing to “chase” anymore.

I agree with most of what you said apart from “you’re so close”. With the law of assumption there is no process. You ARE the void. Anyway enjoy having your desires. I’m really happy for you!!😭 Love you too beautiful ♥️

[vyva-melinkolya]

we all agree that the push towards short form, vertical video (tiktok/reels/shorts) is ruining fucking everything right? Tiktok has been useful for the dissemination of political information (e.g Gaza) i’ll give it that, but that feels moreso a result of meta and twitters algorithms being just a little *more*’evil and censor happy. And i want to make it very clear that my hatred for tiktok has nothing to do with the fact that it was a product of a Chinese company, because i see a lot of critiques relying on some sort of sinophobic conspiracy. On the contrary, it’s what tiktok has become in the vacuum of western popular culture and marketing that makes me fearful.

I know that every generation faces a new, polarizing technology and inevitably, there are those among said generation who will critique it. That is the nature of things. However, there is also something to be said about how, with the acceleration of technology (running parallel to the acceleration of capitalism, acceleration towards collapse etc), each coming generation faces an increasingly more malevolent “advancement”. TLDR, i’m going to talk my shit.

I’m going to speak on the aspect that is most relavent to me, as a musician. I am petrified by what short form video is doing to music and to musicians. I think that tiktok provides the illusion of making music and being a musician more “accessible” while actually pouring gasoline on the fire that the pop music machine had already started. Standards for what popular culture “expects” from music are being doubled and tripled. Let’s talk about song length. Success and marketability favoring shorter songs is not something new, it has been the trend for decades. But with short form video, it goes even further. You’re not just hearing the same song over and over on the radio, you’re hearing the same 15-30 seconds of the same song over and over again. This in-turn, starts to influence the way people write music, persuading people to make songs that *could* have that 15 second appeal. There is an art to pop music, there is an art to writing a catchy hook—this is something else. We weren’t meant to hear or understand music like that. There are so many songs from reels that i found annoying, until i heard them in their full context. It’s insidious. It makes everything feel like a fucking commercial, even if nothing is being advertised.

I’m going to pull directly from someone else’s experiences, someone who’s music seems to be everywhere on short form videos. The ambient musician My Head Is Empty has a hundred million streams on the song “i was only temporary”. Despite that exposure, they experience “never ending copywrite issues” and have “received death threats” by people who refuse to credit them when using their song. Pulling a quote here, from a comment on their own post

“vyva_melinkolya unfortunately it just gets worse. i saw a bot content page that steals pod cast footage and spams dozens of videos with my song stolen, comment on a "motivation" spam content , who actually made a post telling people the name of my song, and the previous page i mentioned, the pod cast spam commented on that video saying "Bro stop don't give out the sauce. this audio helps me pull numbers brooo" - so people are actively INTENTIONALLY stealing it and telling people to not credit me. like. u can't make this stuff up”

Beyond this, My Head Is Empty feels frustrated that despite all this exposure, the rest of their work (nine albums) as a musician remains under appreciated, and i think that frustration is 100% valid. People cannot fully appreciate music, or even understand it as a work of art created by another human, when it’s taken so far out of its context. Again, the soul being sucked out of art by “the machine” isn’t anything new but, this is a whole other level. Being a musician is more expensive than ever, streaming earns you fractions of a cent etc, it all feeds into itself.

When a song or a musician i love deeply finds its way on to tiktok (let’s use Duster’s “Stars Will Fall”, one of my favorite songs ever as an example)I am not upset that i cant “gatekeep” it anymore. I’m not upset by the idea of something I love and hold dearly finding a larger audience. I AM upset in the manner in which it is being disseminated. I’m upset with art I hold dear to me being chopped up and used as “trending audio”. When I saw Duster in concert recently, lStars Will Fall” was the song I was most looking forward to hearing. It was the last song they played, and it was the song seemly everyone chose to talk loudly over. The audience was mostly people my age and younger. This complaint might come off as petty or pretentious or cliche, i frankly do not give a shit.

Let’s talk about how musicians are expected to promote music on tiktok/reels. This is a matter of opinion, at the risk of sounding very pretentious: the “POV we are x band from x” “My label says i need x followers before x” “posting this video until c musician notices me”. I understand that some of it is in jest but, what the fuck? When did this become the norm? I do not blame anyone for promoting their music like this, but we should want more for ourselves. I’ve always said being a musician is deeply embarassing, inherently. If being a musician is inherently embarassing then what is this? I dont have a solution for this, and the music industry has always been ugly and bloodthirsty and seldom fruitful— but i feel like the very small amount of dignity we had as artists is now lost and I cant fucking stand it. Artists seem to promote the same single with dozens of reels over the course of months, hoping that something sticks. I dont want to sound like i’m shaming or, again, sound like i can provide a solution. I’m just very fucking sorry that it seems like this is “the way”. And personally, i’m scared that if i dont “get with the program”, im going to fail.

Again, all of this speaks to larger trends in entertainment industry and even larger trends in capitalism. But i’m just airing specifics right now because frankly? I cant take it anymore.

[ldydeath]

I'm Still Waiting | Kwon Ji-yong (G-Dragon)

Summary: You and Jiyong have always toed the line between friends and more than, but you can’t seem to take the plunge and actually be with him. So he waits. Word Count: 1.3k Warnings: Mentions of cheating (not by reader or Jiyong), some angst, some fluff Author’s Note: I wasn’t going to write anything this week but as I was looking through requests I stumbled across this one and the inspo hit hard. This is based on a Tate McRae song called Greenlight. Enjoy <3

When you first met Jiyong you’d both been in relationships, a tragedy really because there’d been instant sparks. You were both too good to ever act on it. You’d stayed friends over the years though. Rooting for each other and supporting each others successes in life. 

Despite the sparks, you’d gotten engaged to someone else. You’d been with him for years, it  just made sense. Besides, Jiyong was in a committed relationship too, and he seemed happy. Until one day he’d texted you that they’d broken up.

You’d been knee deep in wedding plans when you’d gotten the news and had rushed to his side. You’d supported him through his breakup. You never crossed that line though. No matter how much you wanted to. His heart was broken, and yours belonged to someone else. 

Jiyong had smiled at your wedding, danced with you like a friend when he’d always wanted more. Was on good terms with your husband. He would love you from afar if that was all he was allowed to have. 

But then the affair happened. Jiyong saw red. How could he cheat on you? Jiyong had shown up unannounced and punched him in the face. You’d followed him out, explained to him that couldn’t happen again. You loved him. You’d change for him if it meant he wouldn’t do it again. 

Jiyong didn’t get it. He loved you. He would never take advantage of you like that, never cheat, never ask you to change. Why couldn’t you see how great you were? He just smiled and nodded though, let you go after what you wanted.

It happened again a few months later and you filed for divorce. Jiyong offered his home to you, but you declined. You couldn’t live with him. It wouldn’t be right. So he’d helped you move into an apartment down the street. And he hoped. 

“I appreciate you helping me, Ji. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” You hugged him as he sat the last box down in the kitchen. 

“You never have to thank me. There’s no place else I’d ever be.” He grinned. “Should we get dinner?” 

You nodded and he led you out of the house. Dinner was more flirty than it had ever been. Now that you were both single there was nothing stopping either of you. That spark from years ago was still there, not that it had ever faded. You heart longed for him. And so when he walked you home and leaned in for a kiss, you didn’t stop him. You kissed him back like you’d been craving him for years. 

∘•···············•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•················•∘

“You think you’ll ever want to take that next step?”

It had been months of this game. Dinners, movie nights, kisses. But you hadn’t committed to him. Every time you thought it was about to happen you would chicken out. 

“Yeah. I just, I’m not ready yet.” You shrugged, giving him an apologetic smile. 

He nodded like he always did when you gave this answer. Jiyong didn’t understand why you couldn’t just jump in with him, but he would never pressure you. When you were ready, he’d be ready. He could wait. 

Another month passed and Jiyong was officially going crazy. He’d done everything he could think of. Even wrote a song about you, his eyes on yours the entire time he sang it when he debuted it at a show. Taken you to all your favorite stops along his tour. You still weren’t ready. He was running out of ways to show you how much he loved you, how much happier he could make you than anyone else. 

“Ji, you didn’t!” You practically jumped into his arm when he presented the tickets. 

“Of course I did. They’re your favorite band, right?” 

“Yes! Thank you, oh my god!” You squealed before leaning in to kiss his cheek. “I love you!” The words were out before you could take them back. 

Jiyong stilled in your arms and you leaned back to look at him, wide eyed. He never thought front row to your favorite band would be what made you crack, but here you were. 

“You do?” He was hopefully, almost too hopeful and you nodded.

“Yeah, but I’m not ready.” You sighed, pulling away from him. 

“Why not?” You paused, turning to face him. This was off script, but you guessed you started that. 

“We were together for a long time, Ji. He hurt me really bad. I’m not ready to get my heart broken again. And what if we don’t work out? I just lose my best friend? I can’t do that.” 

“But what if we do work out?” He moved to stand by you, “I love you I would never do what he did. I think we could end up being something beautiful.” 

You let out a sigh, it was too much. Your feelings for him had always been too much. You’d always known he’d loved you, but hearing it out loud was doing something to you. 

“Ji, I don’t know.” 

“Give me a chance.” 

“I’m scared.” 

“Me too.” 

You almost caved, you almost said yes. You wanted to say yes. He was giving you everything you needed but you still couldn’t pull the trigger. As if reading your mind, Jiyong just nodded, a sad smile on his face. 

∘•···············•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•················•∘

As time went on, Jiyong still tried. Not as hard as he used to, but he couldn’t help how he felt about you. The time you spent together was always the best, it made you feel alive in ways you hadn’t before. Made you wish you weren’t so afraid to let him be more than that. 

And then one night, it finally happened. You’d been out for drinks and a girl had hit on him right in front of you. Jiyong being the shy guy he was had laughed it off but she’d been persistent. He’d bought her a drink, offered to let her hang out with you guys. She’d been flirty the whole night. You stayed in the car as Jiyong walked her to her doorstep, watched in agony as he placed a kiss on her cheek, smiled at her before she walked in her house.

“What was that?” He’d hardly made it back in the car before you were fuming. 

“I was making sure she got home safe, it’s called being nice.” He shrugged. 

“Jiyong, please. She was flirting with you all night.” You sighed leaning back in the seat. 

“Was she?” His brows raised. “I didn’t realize.” He turned to face you. 

“Yeah, well she was.” You folded your arms with a pout. “And You were flirting back.”

“I was not.” He snorted. “I told you I wouldn’t do that to you and I meant it. Believe me, I only have eyes for you no matter how painful it might be.” 

“I’m sorry.” You sighed, looking at him. “I don’t know why I can’t just let myself be with you. I want to, I really do. I just…can’t.” 

“Ever?” 

“I hope not. But if you don’t want to wait for me, I get it.” You nudged him, “Maybe you shouldn’t.” 

“I’d wait for you forever.” 

Your heart skipped a beat at his words. There was something about the vulnerability in his voice that made you want to jump off the deep end and finally give into this whole thing. You’d find a way to make it work, right? 

You moved in closer, your lips brushing against his softly. His mouth moved against yours, his arms finding their way to you as he pulled you closer. You’d done this a million times but today it felt different. Like a promise instead of a no. 

“We try.” You whispered as you pulled away, your forehead resting against his. 

“We try.” He nodded, a small smile on his face.

He’d waited years for this, but he knew he needed to move slow if he didn’t want to lose you. He vowed to never make you feel the way your ex did, he’d protect your heart for the rest of his life. He’d already been doing it for all these years anyway.

tag list: @wcnderlnds @infinetlyforgotten @berfgrimm @aizshallnotbefound @loveesiren @gdinthehouseee @tulentiy @petersasteria @ttturnitup @flymetothexmoon @mashtatosworld @alosss-blog @sooyasya @dprvivi @mirahyun @breakmeoff @1950schick @sherrayyyyy @bettelaboure @allthoughtsmindfull

[the0doreslover]

Stuck forever by the... glue? | t.n x fem!reader

summary: you and theodore are quite literally “stuck together”

warnings: a few innuendos

a/n: so i’ve been MIA for a little while but i hope this 4k piece makes up for it 😬😬😬

‘just make it to friday’

‘just make it to friday’

‘just make it to friday’

These were the five simple words that played in your mind since the beginning of the week.

Maybe it was because your mother had been sending you a letter every day, reinforcing the importance of your success in any exam you are to partake in, or because your professors had seemed to be putting extra pressure on you at the moment, or maybe… just maybe it was because you were simply tired, that every day seemed to be getting harder.

Your friends weren’t much help, it wasn’t their fault, they just couldn’t understand the pressure you had been going through over the past few weeks. You had unintentionally pushed them away.

Friday morning at last.

You had a little while to kill before your first lesson of the day and had decided on sitting in the courtyard.

You were walking towards your usual seat behind the large oak tree when you noticed

a rather peculiar looking sketchbook in its place

You picked it up, and opened the first page, and there in the neatest writing was the words; Property Of Theodore Nott

Great.

You were just admiring the pattern on the front of the book when a hand on your wrist startled you.

Looking up, in all his glory was Theodore Nott.

You didn’t have a chance to fully clock him, when he snatched the book from your hands.

“Did you open the book?” he asked, seeming to be catching his breath

“What?”

“i said did you open the book?” he urged, louder this time.

“No… Nott i didn’t” you answered

“right… well your blouse is undone” he nodded towards your chest.

You gasped slightly pulling your fingers towards the buttons, you felt around for a second until he started laughing “i lied”

“why do you have to be such a dick” you groaned noticing he tried to change the subject away from his sketchbook

“i guess i was born that way” he shrugged, with a slight grin on his face “why do you have to be such a prat?”

“i guess i was born that way” you huffed before walking away from him

Seeing as you had only a few minutes before your lesson, you had decided on going a bit earlier.

Professor Flitwick's classroom was already half-full, the usual chatter filling the air as students settled into their seats.

After what felt like an eternity, Flitwick clapped his hands together, drawing everyone's attention. "Alright, today we're going to practice some partner work. Pair up and choose the most interesting charm you can think of, the winning pair will be free from the assignment i am giving out later”

You groaned inwardly. Partner work meant having to socialize, something you didn't feel up to after the morning's events. You stayed seated, hoping someone would approach you. Instead, you felt a presence next to your desk. Looking up, you saw Theodore standing there,

"I’ll partner with you” he said taking the seat next to you

You blinked in surprise. Maybe he was trying to sabotage you in revenge of the morning…. but seeing some of the other options for partners, he didn’t seem so bad

"fine"

The two of you moved to an empty corner of the classroom, while you grabbed a study guide to charms.

“We’re not using that” theodore laughed

“well unless you’re secretly a charms dictionary i’m not sure what you think we should use”

He reached into his bag and pulled out a thick grey book, labelled “A masters guide to charms”

“Sorry Nott i didn’t know you were a master” you mocked him bowing your head down

“yeah yeah funny” he rolled his eyes opening the first page to its contents

“how about this one?” you asked pointing to a picture of a beautiful ocean

“no way i don’t really want to drown today”

you glared at his reply

“let’s do this” he hummed

“no way, i’m not turning everything edible”

“boring” he sighed

“lets do this” “we’ll do this”

you both said at the same time pointing to a photo of a man appearing to be stuck to a tree.

After agreeing on the spell and practising it without wands for a little while, You decided you should try it out.

“i have a pencil and a sharpener. Try on them” you said pulling both out your pocket and placing them infront of him

Stepping back you watched theodore perform the spell.

one

two

three

“nothing happened?” you sighed

“i think i can see that myself” he grabbed the pencil and placed it closer to the sharpener

“let’s do it at the same time. That way it might be stronger” you suggested and picked your wand up.

“one” you looked at him to ensure he was doing it correctly

“two” he watched your hands to ensure you had placed your wand at the right point”

“Three!” Just as you both cast your charm, a sudden jolt sent your wands askew. You glanced up in surprise to see Fred and George Weasley barreling past.

"Watch it!" Theodore snapped, but it was too late.

The spell went haywire. You felt a strange pull on your hand and looked down to see your fingers stuck to Theodore's. His eyes widened as he tried to pull away, but your hands were firmly glued together.

"Fred! George!" you called after the twins, who had stopped and were now doubled over with laughter. "What did you do?"

"Nothing, love, it seems we just gave your charm a little nudge," Fred grinned, winking at you.

"we are very familiar with this charm" George added, chuckling.

"So you can fix this?" Theodore demanded, his usual cool demeanor slipping into frustration.

"Afraid not, mate. You'll have to wait it out," Fred said, still laughing. "The charm wears off in a 24 hours."

“Even if we performed it at the same time?” you asked

This seemed to make the twins laugh even harder

“let’s say an estimate of 48 hours then”

As the twins walked away, still laughing, you turned to Theodore. "This is your fault," you accused, trying to free your hand but only managing to make the bond tighter.

"My fault? You're the one who suggested we practice that spell," he shot back, though there was a hint of a smile playing on his lips.

“You said it too!” you argued

“Okay stop pulling! it’s my hand too!” he said

"Well, now what?" you sighed, looking at your joined hands.

“we need to find Hermione"

Theodore sighed "why?"

“because she is literally smarter than you”

Navigating the crowded corridors of Hogwarts with your hand stuck to Theodore's was an exercise in patience.

Students cast curious glances your way, and whispers followed you down the halls. You kept your head down, focusing on getting to the Gryffindor common room as quickly as possible.

As you entered the common room, heads turned, and the chatter died down. Harry, Ron, and Hermione were sitting by the fireplace, deep in conversation. They looked up simultaneously, eyes widening at the sight of you and Theodore hand-in-hand.

"What in Merlin's name?" Ron blurted out, almost dropping the chess piece he was holding.

Hermione stood up, her brows knitting in confusion. "What’s happening?"

You cleared your throat. "We had a bit of a mishap in Charms. Fred and George decided to 'assist' our spell, and now we're stuck like this."

Harry snorted, trying to hide his laughter. "Of course it was Fred and George."

You felt your cheeks flush with embarrassment as Hermione approached, examining your joined hands. "Hmm, let me see," she muttered, pulling out her wand and waving it gently over your hands. "It's a strong charm. They must have amplified it somehow."

"Can you fix it?" you asked, desperation creeping into your voice.

Hermione bit her lip. "It might take a bit of time. This isn't a simple charm to reverse, especially if they boosted its strength. Let's sit down, and I'll see what I can do."

You and Theodore awkwardly made your way to a nearby table, still joined at the hand. Hermione began leafing through her Charms textbook, occasionally glancing up at your hands.

"Are you sure it wasn't intentional?" Harry teased, a mischievous glint in his eye.

"Shut up, Potter," Theodore shot back, but there was no real malice in his voice.

You rolled your eyes, trying to ignore the heat rising in your face. "Can you please just help us, Hermione?"

"Alright, alright," she said, waving her hand to shush the boys. "I think I found something. It says here that a reversal spell should work, but it needs to be performed perfectly, or it could make things worse."

"Perfectly?" you echoed, feeling a pang of anxiety. "And if it goes wrong?"

"Well, we might end up with more than just your hands stuck together," Hermione admitted. "But don't worry, I've got this."

“Okay i’m ready… let’s do it” you breathed in

“Wait… i can’t do it now, i need some time to practise it. As i said, it could go very wrong of not performed perfectly”

you groaned and fell backwards onto the sofa.

Theodore glanced at the clock on the wall, then at you, his expression shifting to one of mild panic. "I have to cut our despair short. I have Quidditch practice now."

You blinked at him, still processing the absurdity of the situation. "Okay, go then."

He raised your joined hands, giving you a pointed look.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione burst into laughter. Ron clutched his side, gasping for breath. "Good luck at practice, mate!"

Harry smirked. "Maybe you can use the bonding time to strategize."

Theodore rolled his eyes, clearly annoyed. "Yeah it’s all fun and jokes now potter, but we have a match against you tomorrow."

Hermione cleared her throat, trying to stifle her giggles. "Alright, you two. I’ll need some time to figure this out. Why don’t you… well, make the best of it?"

You groaned again, feeling the weight of the situation. "Great. Just fantastic."

Theodore tugged gently at your joined hands, pulling you toward the door. "Come on, i don’t have all day."

As you approached the Slytherin locker room, you felt a sinking feeling in your stomach. Theodore seemed to sense your apprehension.

"I need to get changed," he said leading you into the locker room. The room was empty, the rest of the team already on the pitch.

You looked around, feeling incredibly awkward. "Um, how are we going to do this?"

Theodore glanced at his Quidditch uniform hanging on a nearby hook, then back at you. "We'll have to cut the sleeve of my uniform."

You stared at him, unsure if he was serious. "Cut the sleeve? Are you sure?"

He nodded, his expression resigned. "It's the only way. Unless you have a better idea?"

You shook your head, feeling a bit guilty. "No, I guess not. Do you have scissors?"

Theodore rummaged through his locker, producing a pair of small, sharp scissors. He handed them to you, and you took a deep breath, trying to steady your hands.

"Alright, hold still," you instructed, carefully cutting through the fabric of his shirt sleeve. The sound of the scissors slicing through the material was oddly loud in the quiet locker room.

Theodore watched you, his expression unreadable, but you could feel his gaze burning into you. His breath hitched slightly as you drew closer to his skin, "You're surprisingly good at this," he said

You glanced up at him, surprised. "Really? I feel like I'm ruining your shirt."

He shrugged, "It's just a shirt. Besides, you can sew it back together later, right?"

You smiled, feeling a bit more at ease. "Yeah, I can do that. Don't worry, I'll fix it."

With the sleeve cut, Theodore carefully slid his arm out of the shirt, keeping your joined hands steady. He then reached for his Quidditch uniform

"Now for the hard part," he said, looking at the uniform's sleeve.

You repeated the process, cutting the sleeve of the uniform with as much precision as you could muster. The fabric was tougher, but you managed to make a clean cut. Theodore slipped into the uniform, and you couldn't help but admire how the green and silver suited him. His muscles flexed under the tight fabric, and for a moment, you found it hard to look away.

He smirked teasingly "stop checking me out."

You rolled your eyes, your face flushing. "you’re insufferable… i’m trying to make sure the sleeve fits right," you retorted.

The reality of your situation hit you again as you exited the locker room, your hands still firmly stuck together. Navigating the hallways and the field together was awkward, to say the least.

As you approached the Quidditch pitch, the rest of the Slytherin team was already in mid-practice, flying through the air, tossing Quaffles, and practicing their Beater drills.

The sight of you and Theodore hand-in-hand drew immediate attention.

Draco was the first to approach, a sly grin on his face. "whats happening here?" he laughed, "Nott, I didn't know you needed a babysitter for practice."

Theodore shot his friend a warning look. "Shut up, Draco."

Draco chuckled, his eyes gleaming with amusement. “i thought you guys hated each other? when did you make it official?” he laughed louder this time

"You are the only one laughing" theodore said chuckling at him

“i feel sorry for you” draco said towards you “anyway, let’s continue with practise”

You did your best to stay out of the way,

draco had allowed you and theo to simply sit in the stands while someone threw a bludger at him to try and hit.

he clearly didn’t try hard enough as you got hit in your head twice.

A few of the players couldn't resist taking jabs at you and Theodore as they ran past.

"Hey, Nott, maybe she can be our good luck charm!" one of them called out, laughing.

"Or a distraction for the other team!" another added, snickering.

You clenched your jaw, trying to ignore the comments.

“they’re all stupid” theodore would say

Finally, one player took it too far.

"Hey, Nott, why don't you just sleep with her already? Maybe that'll break the spell!"

Theodore stopped dead in his tracks, his face flushing with anger. "That's enough!"

a few members of the team fell silent, taken aback by his outburst. The player who made the remark, Marcus Flint, sneered. "What's the matter, Nott? Can't take a joke?"

Theodore scoffed. "Shut up you tosser, yes, she is a girl, but she didn’t ask to be surrounded by you idiots, so the least you can do is respect her"

You could feel the tension radiating off him, and it was clear that his patience had reached its limit. Flint opened his mouth to retort, but before he could say anything, you stepped forward.

"It’s okay," you said, "We didn't ask for this to happen, but we're dealing with it. So if you're done acting like children, maybe you can focus on your practise."

"Alright, enough," Draco said, his tone firm. "let’s end here today yeah, let’s just hope today was enough to get us our win tomorrow”

As the Quidditch practice ended, the players dispersed, heading towards the locker room.

"I can't go in there," you said, tugging on Theodore's hand to stop him from entering. "I don't want to see anyone...you know, changing."

Theodore paused "Fine, we'll wait out here until they're done."

You both sat on the bench outside the locker room, Silence hung heavily between you, neither of you wanting to break it. Finally, Theodore spoke.

“you should of punched flint, no one would’ve of said anything”

“well, i’m not one to start fights, that would make me reckless” you sighed

Theodore’s smirk widened. “well you did suggest we do this spell” he lifted up your hands “together, that’s pretty reckless.”

“Oh, please,” you retorted, turning to face him. “Like you didn’t push for it too. That ‘I’m a master of charms’ act? Such a joke.”

Theodore’s eyes narrowed, and he leaned in slightly. “well you’re always whining about how hard life is. If you’re so tired, maybe you should’ve stayed in bed instead of trying to impress everyone.”

“Impress everyone?” you shot back, your faces inches apart. “Nice try, but your house is all about being superior, right?”

“Well, if we’re talking about superiority,” Theodore said, his breath warm against your face, “maybe you should look at your own house, the loudest bunch of show-offs.”

“Loud?” you challenged, your fingers brushing against his arm. “At least we’re not sneaky and backstabbing. I’d rather be loud than be a two-faced snake.”

Theodore’s eyes flashed. “Better sneaky than a blabbering idiot. At least I don’t go around pretending to be perfect.”

“Perfect?” you scoffed, leaning in so close that your lips nearly brushed his. “You think you’re so high and mighty. Well, you’re not.”

“Yeah?” Theodore’s voice dropped to a low murmur as he leaned even closer. “Maybe I’m just tired of you acting like you’ve got it all together.”

“You mean like you’re tired of being a pompous jerk?” you spat, “I’m tired of your attitude.”

Your faces were so close now. Just as it seemed like something might actually happen, Theodore suddenly pulled back.

“Honestly, can’t we just have one conversation without it turning into a drama?” Theodore said, crossing his arms and turning slightly away from you.

“Oh, so now you’re the expert on handling disagreements?” you retorted,

“Well, you’re not exactly making it easy to like you,” Theodore snapped, turning towards you for the tenth time. “You’re impossible.”

“And you’re a complete—” you began, but your words were cut off as Theodore’s lips almost touched yours again.

you both sat back

“Let’s just get this charm sorted and go our separate ways.”

You nodded, your jaw clenched.

“your blouse is open” he said staring at the pitch

“yeah nice try”

“i’m not joking” he urged

you discreetly looked down to see that your two buttons were, in fact undone.

you slowly dragged your hand towards your top, pulling theodore’s hand with it.

Your fingers failed to do the button with his hand in the way.

“Nott, please flatten your hand” you said lowly

he cleared his throat “if i flatten it… it would be on your chest”

you breathed out and closed your eyes slowly, before flattening his hand yourself.

Theodore shifted, his hand still pressed awkwardly against your chest. His eyes met yours, and for a brief, unsettling moment, the anger seemed to dissolve into something else.

“You’re such a...” Theodore started

“Don’t start,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper.

“You make me feel... things I don’t want to deal with.”

After visiting Hermione, who delivered the disappointing news that you and Theodore might be stuck like this for another day, the reality of the situation set in. The idea of spending an entire night with your hands stuck to Theodore's was less than appealing.

After agreeing on it, you both reluctantly made your way to the Astronomy tower. The tension was high, and you could feel every small touch between you—whether it was Theodore adjusting his position or the slight bump of your hands against each other.

“I guess we should figure out where we’re going to sleep,” Theodore said

“Right,” you replied, trying to sound collected despite the discomfort. “Do you have any suggestions?”

Theodore shrugged, glancing around the tower as if searching for an escape route. “We could just sit here until morning?”

You sighed, feeling the exhaustion of the day catch up with you. “Fine. Just... let’s try to make this as bearable as possible.”

You both found a quiet corner of the tower and made yourselves as comfortable as you could, given the circumstances.

“So,” Theodore began after a moment of silence, “since we’re stuck together, we might as well talk.”

“Talk?” you asked, raising an eyebrow. “What could we possibly have to talk about?”

“Plenty,” Theodore said with a shrug. “We’ve been arguing nonstop. Maybe it’s time we actually had a proper conversation.”

You considered this for a moment. “Alright, fine. What do you want to talk about?”

“Let’s start with why you always act like the world is out to get you,” Theodore said, leaning back against the wall.

You stared at him, taken aback by the question. “What makes you think I act that way?”

“You always seem so stressed and ready to snap,” Theodore explained. “It’s like you’ve got this cloud hanging over you.”

“maybe i do”

A brief silence followed, during which you both seemed to be lost in thought.

“So,” Theodore said, breaking the silence, “what annoys you the most about me”

You laughed slightly. “Your carelessness.”

Theodore chuckled softly. “i care about a lot of things actually”

“yeah? like what”

he stared at you in a comfortable silence, leaving that question unanswered

You smiled faintly

As the evening wore on, you both found it increasingly difficult to ignore the closeness of your situation. The moonlight made even the smallest touches feel more significant.

Eventually, you both fell asleep, leaning against each other for support.

You rubbed your eyes, trying to shake off the remnants of sleep. “Oh, this is just perfect,” you groaned, pushing yourself up and realizing just how tangled up you were. “We need to get to our dormitories and change. It’s almost time for the Quidditch match.”

You glanced around the tower, feeling the urgency of the situation. Theodore sat up, still a bit dazed, and ran a hand through his messy hair. “Then we need to find hermione”

You both maneuvered to stand up, your hands still firmly attached. It was a delicate balance, trying not to trip over each other as you made your way out of the Astronomy Tower.

The corridors of Hogwarts were quieter at this hour, but you still drew curious glances from early-rising students who whispered and pointed as you and Theodore hurried by.

Once you got to your dorm you instructed theo to turn around while you changed.

after you had gotten ready you both sprinted to the locker room and sighed in relief at hermione waiting there you.

You both lifted your hands infront of her ready to be freed

“i can’t perform the spell”

“what?”

“it’s too dangerous, i even consulted with mcgonagall, she said that we will just have to wait it out”

You sighed, feeling frustration “It’s okay, Hermione. Thank you for trying.”

Hermione gave you both a sympathetic smile. “I’ll head to the stands and watch the match. Good luck”

As Hermione walked away, you turned to Theodore, “I’m really sorry about this, Theo. I know how much this match means to you.”

He looked at you, his eyes softening. “It’s okay. We’ll have to try and manage.”

The tension between you seemed to dissolve slightly as you both stood there

The Quidditch match was about to start, and with the stands starting to fill up, you found yourselves standing closer than you had all day. The space between you seemed to shrink and In a moment of impulsive decision, Theodore leaned in, and before either of you could second-guess, your lips met his.

When the kiss ended, you pulled back slightly, feeling a rush of warmth spread through you. You noticed, with a jolt, that Theodore’s hands were now resting comfortably on your waist. The realization hit you, and you looked at him in surprise. “Theo… your hands are on my waist.”

Theodore blinked, confusion crossing his face, before it dawned on him. “Wait—” he started, looking at your hands which were now free.

You both stared at each other, “I guess we really did have to kiss to break the spell,” you joked with a light laugh.

Theodore chuckled and a genuine smile lit up his face. “I suppose so.”

“Well,” Theodore said, “I’d better get changed before the match starts. I’m sure the team’s been waiting for me.”

“yeah” you said, smiling slightly. “good luck.”

he quickly leaned forward to kiss you one last time before fake saluting you with a smile on his face and turning towards the locker room.

“wait theodore”

he turned around

“your buttons undone” you pointed to his trousers

[fallinallincurls]

home is just another word for you

here is my entry for the summer fic exchange 2k24 hosted by @wyattjohnston !! thank you for doing this as always demi. this fic is for the lovely @puckology101 ! i had so much fun writing for nico again and hope you love how this turned out!

title is from "you're my home" by billy joel and you can find the entire playlist for this fic here!

hope you enjoy!! feedback is always appreciated! xx

word count: 4.9k+

“Jack, it’s not that simple. I can’t go.” You say for what feels like the millionth time, but your best friend either hasn’t been paying attention or is blatantly ignoring you.

“Yes you can! Look, you just spent months working yourself to the bone over that huge project at work which, if I have to remind you, was a major success. You don’t just deserve a break, you need one. And this is the perfect opportunity!”

“An entire summer in Switzerland with your captain?”

“Yes!” Jack repeats with excitement, happy you’re finally understanding what he’s been trying to get through your head since this whole idea came to be. That bright, beaming smile of his blossoms across his lips and he has that childlike wonder in his eyes. “Switzerland is beautiful and there’s no one better to go with than Nico. He obviously knows all the best places. Plus, he invited you so I don’t see the problem here.”

Although you would love to spend the entire summer in a gorgeous country with an equally attractive and charming man, the problem is that you’re in love with Nico Hischier and no one knows it.

At least that’s what you thought.

An entire summer with him sounds like a dream because it means endless time with him away from hockey and in his element at home. But at the same time, an entire summer with him sounds like torture because he would be that much closer to you at all times and still not yours.

“I’d love to make a full vacation out of it, trust me a break sounds absolutely perfect after finally finishing the project. But I can’t shake the feeling that I’d be intruding. You guys already rarely get to go home and see family during the season, even worse for players like Nico whose family is much farther away.”

“Y/N,” Jack says, silencing your rambling. Without hesitation you meet his gaze and wait for what he has to say. “You wouldn’t be intruding. Nico wants you there. He invited you for a reason and going on vacation is a normal thing good friends do together, you know.”

“I’ll think about it.” You decide, promising that you will put thought into it before telling Nico what your decision is. That’s seemingly enough for Jack as he drops the subject after that, but you are oblivious to his giddy grin. It would’ve been a dead giveaway that he knows your secret.

~~~~~

In the end, you decide to turn your trip to Switzerland with Nico into a European summer extrusion. After spending the first two months with him, you are going to visit all the other countries and cities that have been on your bucket list for years. That way you’re not in his way when his training ramps up again for the new season while getting the chance to explore parts of the world you’ve always wanted to see before going back home to Jersey.

Nico, of course, was ecstatic when you accepted his offer to come back home with him. Two months of uninterrupted time with his favorite person in his favorite place is a dream come true. 

Everything was set and going perfectly according to plan until you both headed towards the right gate in the airport. 

No matter where you’re going or how long the trip, you always make sure to pack comfy clothes as it makes you feel more at ease when traveling. There was nothing different this time, except you put the worn and well loved hoodie in your checked luggage, not your carry-on. 

As the realization settles in, a pout appears on your face. Nico, ever observant, notices the change in your demeanor right away. 

“What’s wrong?” Nico asks softly, nudging you a little with his elbow as you both shuffle forward in the line for coffee. You shrug in response, not wanting to come clean about something so silly. Before Nico can push any further, you’re the next up to order so his insistence at finding out what the problem is has to wait a few minutes.

But the moment you both have your drinks in hand, Nico cuts right to the point.

“Okay, spill. What is it?” 

You can’t help the smile that tugs at the corners of your lips because 95% of the time, your best friend looks like the human equivalent of a golden retriever. Which means when he uses his “captain voice” and is all business, it’s almost hard to take him seriously. 

“I packed my comfy travel hoodie in my actual luggage instead of my carry-on so I can’t wear it on the flight like I usually would. That’s all.” You haven’t even finished speaking before Nico stops walking, plops his backpack down on a nearby seat and pulls something out. “What are you-”

“You can wear mine,” Nico cuts you off, the sweetest smile gracing his lips as he holds out his favorite black Kith hoodie. “I packed it as an extra for you anyway, just in case this happened.” 

For a moment, you’re speechless. Nico is always looking out for you in the little ways, he has been since you became friends, but this has your heart softening like never before. It also confirms that spending the next two months with him is only going to make your feelings for him grow, not disappear. 

“Thank you, Nico. That’s so sweet of you.” He shrugs like it’s no big deal, but the shy smile on his face gives away how proud he is to be there for you. 

"How do you always know exactly what I need?" You wonder aloud, snuggling into the warm fabric of Nico’s beloved sweatshirt as you both settle into chairs next to each other in front of the correct gate. A moment of silence passes and you don’t expect Nico to respond until three soft words slip past his lips. 

"I pay attention."

The way your heart seizes right then is enough evidence that you’re madly in love with your best friend, but in an effort not to reveal your emotions, you just look up and give him the softest smile full of gratitude.

Nico squeezes your knee fondly before you both settle in, anticipation and excitement for your flight to his home country growing with each passing second.

~~~~~

Switzerland is gorgeous. Pictures don't do it justice at all. From the moment you stepped out of the airport a few weeks ago to where you are right now, sitting at a table with Nico and his family in the backyard, you haven’t stopped being amazed that somewhere this beautiful exists.

Over the last three weeks or so, you’ve spent almost every waking moment with Nico. You met his family, who all instantly loved you, especially his older sister, Nina. Days have been filled with visiting tourist attractions and some of Nico’s favorite places all over the country. Nights are usually spent snuggled up for a movie or around a fire, laughing with Nico’s siblings and friends. You have tried so many new things from experiences to foods and everything in between. 

Although you hate to admit it, Jack was right. Going home with Nico was everything you needed and more.

A soft smile blossoms across your lips as you filter through all the memories you’ve already made on this trip. Your heart is full of nothing but happiness and you owe that to Nico. 

“What are you thinking about?” Nico’s deep voice suddenly snaps you back to the present. A quick glance around the table confirms that no one but your best friend noticed the dreamy expression that was probably on display on your face.

“Nothing,” You shake your head in response, but your smile doesn’t budge and that’s when you realize Nico’s hand is resting on your thigh. “I’m just really happy to be here. It’s been amazing.”

Nico’s pretty brown eyes light up at your answer and that sweet smile you love so much appears on his face, dimples and all. God, how can someone be this perfect?

“This is easily the best summer I’ve had in a long time and that’s because you’re here.” Nico admits, each word full of vulnerability. That same feeling of hope and adoration rush through your veins again even though you know he’s just being honest. You can’t deny how that one sentence makes you the happiest person in the world.

There have been more times than you could count throughout this trip where it seemed like Nico was hinting at something more. He’s been extra attentive to you from the moment you both left New Jersey, always making sure you’re okay and have everything you need. His gaze has lingered on you for longer than necessary on several occasions, causing you to blush like never before. But those small touches that have become a constant in your friendship is what makes you realize that it might be possible Nico feels the same way as you.

When you met his closest friends from home, his hand rested on your lower back in almost a protective manner. He never hesitates to hold your hand when moving through a crowd so he doesn’t lose you. Every time you both eat dinner with his family, like this very moment, he always has a hand on your thigh under the table or he’s tracing little shapes on the inside of your wrist. 

But despite all the signs, you’re still too scared to admit your feelings and Nico hasn’t made any move to confess anything either. So you take note of every little thing he does for or around you, hoping that deep down it leads to what you’re hoping for. 

But despite all the signs, you’re still too scared to admit your feelings and Nico hasn’t made any move to confess anything either. So you take note of every little thing he does for or around you, hoping that deep down it leads to what you’re hoping for. 

You’re not the only one who notices though. Nina is just exceptionally good at schooling her expression before you or her younger brother can see she’s aware something is going on between the two of you. 

“Next summer we’ll have to make sure the Cup comes back with us and then it’ll be the best summer of your life.” You giggle, but Nico’s brows raise in surprise.

“Already making plans to come back next summer?” He asks with curiosity. Of course, he would love to spend these precious months with you again next year. It just catches him off guard that you’re thinking about that too.

“Yeah, of course I am, but with the Cup. That’s your end of the deal to hold up.” You respond with a playful poke to his chest, not picking up on how much that simple sentence means to him. 

“I think I can manage that.” Nico chuckles, eyes twinkling with happiness as he pulls you closer to his side before you both rejoin the conversation that’s happening around you. 

“Nico, what do you two have planned for this week?” Nina asks while reaching for her glass of wine. You completely miss the way Nico shoots silent daggers at his sister from across the table, but you catch the sweet smiles both of his parents are sporting. 

“We’ve got a chocolate tour booked, a few days to cover everything in Zurich and finally going to bring Y/N to one of my favorite places nearby.” Nico recites, mentally ticking off the activities that he planned for both of you to do throughout the upcoming week. 

“Oh! Make sure you go to some of the museums in Zurich. They’re all so interesting.” Nico’s mom chimes in with excitement. You nod and make a mental note to look up some of the museums that are in the city so you and Nico can visit a few. 

“We definitely will! I remember reading about some of them when I was doing research for the trip. Do you have any favorites?”

As Nico’s family begin debating the best museums to visit in Zurich, the sun continues to set and you find yourself leaning more and more against Nico’s shoulder, the exhaustion of another busy, but well spent day catching up to you. 

“Sleepy?” Nico asks in a teasing, but soft tone. He rubs a hand up and down your back in a soothing way that relaxes you even further.

“A little,” You admit, glancing up at Nico through your lashes and catching sight of that gorgeous smile of his. Butterflies erupt in your stomach again. You can’t deny how happy you are right now.

While stuck in your dazed thoughts, Nico must’ve told his family you’re both heading in for the night because all of them are saying goodnight as Nico gently nudges you to stand before leading you inside. 

And as you settle in for bed in the guest room where you’ve been staying since arriving in Switzerland, nothing but excitement about the upcoming week rushes through your veins while the soft warmth of love fills your heart.

~~~~~

“Something is up, Jack. I’m telling you. And it’s not just in my head because I have a crush or whatever. I don’t think he could make it more obvious without saying anything.” You say quietly into the phone while pacing the boat dock on the lake behind the Hischier’s house.

“I’m not going to act surprised because I’m not. Anyone who knows Nico knows that he has a thing for you. It’s probably just easier for him to show you how he feels back at home with no pressure on his shoulders, you know?” Jack replies with actual logic for once even though you can’t see the huge grin on his face since he’s on a whole other continent. 

“But what am I supposed to do?” Exasperation is clearly evident in your voice. “All these things seem like signs but what if I admit how I feel and it’s not what I have been thinking this whole time?”

Jack lets out a small sigh, but tries to figure out a way to steer his two best friends to each other once and for all.

“Just give him some more time. You have two weeks left there before you travel to Italy, right?”

“Yup.”

“He’ll say something before then. Trust me, it’s Nico. You and I both know he does things in his own way, but he knows what he wants.” Jack reassures you with a small chuckle and that’s enough to put a smile on your face again.

“Yeah, you’re right. Okay, I’ve gotta go. We’re supposed to be going to one of his favorite spots that he’s been dying to show me and I have to get ready. But thanks for the advice, Jacky.” 

“Anytime. Bring me back a Toblerone will you?” 

You’re shaking your head as goodbyes are exchanged before the call ends. As soon as you turn around to head back towards the house, you spot Nico on the deck waiting for you. He gives a goofy wave and that stunning smile of his is easy to see even from where you are. 

“Ready to go soon?” Nico asks when you step up next to him, not hesitating a second to wrap an arm around your shoulders. “Want to make sure we get there at the perfect time to catch the sunset since that’s the best part.”

“I’ll be all ready to go in ten minutes, tops.” You say with a smile, enjoying the feeling of being so close to him. A million thoughts race through your mind again, but you push them all away to soak in this simple moment.

“Was that Jack on the phone?” You don’t miss the hint of laughter in Nico’s deep voice.

“Who else would be calling me? I gave him the rundown of how amazing Switzerland is and he wants me to bring back a Toblerone for him.” 

“Of course he does.” Nico chuckles, that beautiful sound bringing you a kind of happiness you can’t find anywhere else. 

As you change into a comfy, but flattering outfit, you can’t help but wonder again where Nico is bringing you today. The only hint he’s given about the destination is that he’s loved the place since he was little and it’s special to him. A mixture of excitement and nerves rush through you as Jack’s words repeat through your head at the same time.

Anyone who knows Nico knows that he has a thing for you.

Do they really?

But it’s then that a collection of moments come back to you. The way Jack started insisting you get a ride home from Nico after games instead of riding back with him. How Nina looks at you with a glimmer in her eyes that looks like joy despite the fact you just met her this summer. The nights you’ve spent talking to Nico’s mom while looking through photo albums and watching his cheeks become rosy with blush when she pointed out the embarrassing snapshots. The way all his teammates just started to assume you’d be his plus one to any event the team had to attend after you accompanied their captain to one gala.

Ohmygod. Somehow, Jack was right again. Nico’s feelings for you have been obvious to everyone else but you this whole time.

Taking a deep breath, you push the life-changing revelation to the back of your mind before grabbing your bag and heading downstairs to meet Nico for his planned adventure that remains a mystery.

A dimpled smile blossoms across Nico’s lips the moment he sees you, making him look impossibly handsome. He’s wearing jeans and a simple t-shirt but somehow he still has your heart skipping a beat at the sight of him. 

“Hi,” As soon as the single syllable leaves your lips, you’re mentally face palming. There are a thousand things to say, yet that’s what you went with?

“Hi, sunneschii.” Nico responds, slipping into his native language for a second to use his favorite term of endearment for you. Sunshine. The blush that spreads across your cheeks is unstoppable which just makes Nico even happier. He’s so in love with you and he still doesn’t know how you can’t tell yet. It’s obvious to everyone else but the one person who matters. “Ready to go?” With a nod acting as your reply, Nico holds his hand out for you to take and leads you to the car.

As Nico’s playlist flows from the speakers and the warm summer air fills the car thanks to the windows being rolled down, you both get lost in conversation together. Nico points out places along the drive that hold any kind of significance to him and that fuzzy feeling is present in your heart again. For a brief moment, you can picture this being your life every summer. Coming back to Switzerland to spend the offseason with the brown eyed sweetheart who happens to be a professional ice hockey player and the man you love. But as much as you’d like that, it can only stay a dream for now.

Without even realizing how much time has passed, Nico is parking the car in a small lot that is blanketed in shade from the enormous but breathtaking castle sitting atop a small hill. 

“Wow,” You whisper in shock, which makes Nico chuckle.

“Oh, you haven’t seen anything yet. Come on,” He teases, quickly getting out of the car and rounding the hood to open the passenger side door for you. 

As you step out of the car, hand in Nico’s, you gaze up at the beautiful building. There’s nothing like this back in Jersey and you’re struck by the absolute beauty of the place that Nico gets to call home. Then another strike of emotion hits you because this is somewhere that he’s made clear is special to him and he brought you here. 

“Nico, this place is-”

“Gorgeous?” He finishes your sentence, smiling at you while still leading you to the courtyard in the middle of the castle. “Yeah, I know. I had to make sure you saw it before you continue on the rest of your trip through Europe. Nothing else in the world compares.”

You nod in silent agreement, still too in awe of your surroundings to say much else. Except when the courtyard comes into view, the sunset framed beautifully between the columns that face out over the countryside, your breath hitches.

There has never been a sight so stunning as this.

 “Ohymygod,” You murmur, at a total loss of words. Nico’s sweet laugh fills the air at your amazed reaction and that’s when you realize how close the two of you are. He’s standing right next to you, arm brushing against yours with each little movement and you can feel his gaze on you without even looking over. “I don’t even know what to say.”

“Take a picture. It won’t do it any justice, but at least you’ll have proof that this is real.” Nico suggests softly, watching as you pull your phone out to capture the breathtaking view in front of you. After you take a few photos and turn back to admire the sunset, Nico nudges you playfully before holding his phone up in position for a selfie.

“Neeks,” You giggle, leaning into him. “The view is that way!” 

“Yeah, right.” He teases back, snapping bursts of photos that capture the two of you smiling and laughing together and even one of Nico pressing a light kiss to your temple. The blush that spreads across your cheeks is undeniable and he definitely notices the effect that small act has on you. 

After Nico puts his phone away again, a moment of comfortable silence settles as he keeps you close thanks to his arm being wrapped comfortably around your waist. 

“Y/N,” Nico whispers so gently you almost don’t hear him.

“Mhm,” You respond, pulling your eyes away from the sun sinking in the horizon to look at the man next to you. 

“I have to tell you something. I’ve already waited too long to say and can’t wait any longer.”

Immediately, your heart starts to race but you try to stay calm. A mixture of nerves and excitement rush through your veins as you nod in encouragement for him to keep talking. He reaches for your hand, giving it a little squeeze, before taking a deep breath and flashing that dimpled smile you love.

“I’m in love with you.” Nico says simply, his voice heavy with emotion. His brown eyes are full of adoration as he looks at you and it’s impossible to explain the feeling of elation you’re experiencing right now. “I have been for years, but haven’t told you because I didn’t want to ruin the friendship we had. But having you here, at home, with me has made it clear that I can’t keep telling myself that being friends with you is enough anymore. Because it isn’t. I want to start and end every day with you by my side. I want to see you in the crowd at home games wearing my last name and the number 13 proudly on your back. I want to do life with you, Y/N. All of it.”

In the few seconds it takes for you to process his confession, the words you’ve been waiting to hear for months, Nico gets nervous. What if the two of you are only destined to be friends and he just ruined everything? But before his thoughts can spiral any further, the most beautiful smile blossoms across your lips and Nico feels his heart soar.

“What if I told you I feel the exact same way? And all I want to do right now is kiss you?”

You catch a glimpse of the huge grin on Nico’s face before he scoops you up in his arms and presses his lips to yours. The kiss is sweet and passionate, a silent exchange of all the words that have been left unsaid over the years. You melt into him, feeling at home more than ever before, with nothing but pure happiness surrounding the two of you.

Finally.

When you both reluctantly pull away, Nico cradles your cheek in his hand, eyes never leaving yours. Nothing else in the world matters right now except for the man in front of you.

“You have no idea how happy I am.” Nico murmurs, pressing a kiss to your forehead, then your nose and then your lips again. 

“I think I do.” You giggle, trying desperately to remember every detail of this very moment. The picturesque sunset painting the castle in a warm orange glow, the pure unfiltered joy on display across Nico’s face, how right it feels to be held in his arms. 

It doesn’t take long for the sun to fully disappear on the horizon and with another kiss, because now Nico can’t help it, he leads you back to the car to head back home. But this time as more than friends.

~~~~~

When you arrive back at the Hischier's house, it’s quiet. Either everyone is already asleep or in the backyard around the fire like usual, but you and Nico don’t give it another thought. With your hand in his, you both head upstairs with giddy smiles and hearts full of adoration.

“Go get what you need from the guest room.” Nico says with a nod towards the door of the room you’ve been staying in for the last month and a half. The silent implication hangs in the air, giving you that jolt of excitement all over again.

So you do exactly that. You grab the necessities for the night, which includes the comfy hoodie Nico gave you at the airport that you somehow haven’t given back yet, and pad down the hall to his childhood bedroom. 

Both of you partake in the quiet dance of getting ready for bed with a sense of nerves knowing that the confessed emotions are still new, but you catch glimpses of trophies, medals and pictures that capture the years and years of his hockey career scattered all across the room. A soft smile tugs at your lips at just how stuck in time this one room feels, yet somehow that makes your love for him grow infinitely more. 

Nico settles in the bed, opening his arms wide for you as a small yawn escapes past his lips. You giggle at the sight and after pulling his hoodie on, you don’t have a moment of hesitation in joining him. His embrace is strong and comforting, a feeling you could get used to. Nico drops a tender kiss to the top of your head as you settle in against him, his warmth completely enveloping you.

“Thank you,” You whisper, the words full of meaning as you look up with wonderstruck eyes and brush that one stubborn piece of hair off his forehead. He’s so undeniably perfect it’s hard to believe he’s real sometimes. “And I’m going to wash this hoodie and give it back to you as soon as possible.”

“Oh, please keep it. I like you wearing it.” Nico murmurs back, one hand beginning to rub up and down your back.

“Really? I thought it was your favorite one.”

“It was. Before I saw you wearing it. So it’s yours now.” He says so easily, voice steady and confident with a touch of cheekiness.  

With your heart full to the brim with love and nothing but pure happiness running through your veins as sleep pulls you under, you realize this is the last place you expected to be during your trip to Switzerland with Nico. But you wouldn’t trade it for the world.

~~~~~

You wake in the morning to the familiar sound of muffled conversation and bright summer sunlight filtering through the windows. Nico’s head rests on your chest with his arms wrapped around you. His hair is tousled and his lips are parted a tiny bit as he continues to sleep peacefully. The cozy moment is like a dream, one you never want to end.

But of course, the time to return to “real life” comes after Nico wakes up and greets you with that adorable smile. That’s when the slightest fear sets in about how to greet his family downstairs as if nothing drastic has changed between the two of you in the last 24 hours.

Lucky for you, Nico makes the decision himself. With a few sweet kisses and reassuring words, he intertwines his fingers with yours before leading you down to the kitchen. As the voices grow louder with each step, you calm yourself and focus on the man in front of you. 

He’s yours now. After all this time.

When you both enter the kitchen, hand in hand, no one bats an eye. At first you think they don’t notice, which seems impossible especially when Nico kisses your temple, but you realize as Nico’s mom pushes a mug of coffee towards you and when that signature smirk never falls from Nina’s face that they all saw this coming. They were simply waiting for the two of you to finally get together just like Jack has been.

“Danke, meine liebe." Nico’s mom murmurs softly in her native language while pulling you in for a hug as everyone else is focused on making breakfast. Thank you, my love. “He’s always deserved to be happy and I know he will be with you. Whether that’s here or in New Jersey or anywhere else. You’re his home.”

And when you look at Nico whose smile couldn’t be any brighter than it is right now as he admires you, you realize that at some point over the last few years, he’s become your home too. The place where you feel safe, the most like yourself and loved unconditionally. 

A place you never have to leave now.

[mywritersmind]

CAT PARENTS - LN4

pt.3

summary : Part three!! Surprise surprise, Lando is in disbelief when Olivia shows up at his race! A weekend in Monaco is all it takes for the two to go from friends to blind idiots that are crushing on each other

OG SUMMARY (A kitten is all it takes to get two strangers in the same bed for the night. Lando likes how she doesn’t know him, Olivia likes the cat that he’s trying to take from her.)

listen up : at this point i’m writing a whole story so more parts will be coming!

word count : 2244

“You’re freaking out. Why?” Max asks me as I enter the Paddock.

My life has been crazy over the past three weeks. I’ve texted and called Lando non stop, Have interacted with all his friends, and am now some sort of F1 fan??

This all landed me right into his world, Max invited me. Not Lando. That’s why I'm freaking out because I'm surprising Lando and I don’t even know if he likes me but I really like him and I miss him even though we’ve literally met once.

“Surprises are nerve-wracking!” I frown at Max as he leads me through the crowds.

“Don’t worry! He will be excited. Trust me.” The way he says those last two words makes me feel more confident. I don’t know how much guys tell their friends about their relationship but I tell my girls everything. I’m hoping it’s close to the same.

I told Max I needed to wait until after the race, I don’t know what kind of preparation he does before and I don’t want to mess anything up.

Max hands me a glass of champagne once we’re in hospitality, “Breathe. Race is in five minutes.” He points down to the garages, “There’s your boy.” my heart beats faster when I see him. ‘Seeing him’ is an interesting phrase because I can only really see his helmet since he’s inside the car.

I relax a bit when Landos teammate's girlfriend joins us. Her name is Lily and even though she’s quiet, she’s incredibly funny and good at making me feel welcome.

Max and Lily help me understand a bit when a red flag happens, some drivers get lapped, the whole dirty air thing.

But before I know it, Lando is crossing the finish line, first.

“Oh my god!” I slap my hand over my mouth as Max grins at me.

“Ready to go see your lover boy?”

⋆｡‧˚⋆

From where we left things, Lando and I had facetimed nearly every day, talking about anything and everything. Everytime I show Juan he looks like he’s about to cry and talks about how big she’s getting.

One night however, stuck with me the most.

His texts were stupid and silly. But I can’t help but wonder why I was the one his mind went to.

Now I'm fiddling with my rings and walking down to the driver's area. Max said he’d have time before a bunch of interviews so I could sneak in quickly.

I knock on his door and when he opens it, I can’t help but smile. His hair is wet with champagne, his curls falling into his face and his suit half unzipped.

His blank stare turns into a wide grin in an instant, “You’re here!” He yells.

I grin, “You’re like sherlock.”

He shakes his head and pulls me into a hug, “Sorry! I’m all gross right now.” He keeps his hands on my waist, “Where is Juna!?”

We talk for five minutes alone, he asks me a million questions and I congratulate him for the millionth time. “Come meet Oscar!” He grabs my hand, all giddy, and drags me to a hallway that’s taken up by three men.

Orange, Red, and Blue.

He introduces me to Oscar Piastri, Carlos Sainz, and Max Verstappen. They all look far too interested in me for three rich and successful men.

“How’d you two meet?” Daniel asks, sipping on his water.

“He tried to steal my cat.” I say easily as Lando hits my arm playfully.

“I tried to help our cat!”

“Our?” Oscar raises a brow.

We tell them about Juna and our ridiculous night in. They’re all laughing at my joke about Lando being a great cat dad when another driver joins us.

“A female?” This one I know, Alex Albon is one of my favorites (especially because his girlfriend is iconic) When all the boys look at Lando the Williams driver laughs, “Woah- When did you get a girlfriend Lan?”

This makes Lando blush, “No she’s- Uh… This is Olivia!” He clarifies awkwardly as Alex looks thoroughly impressed that he embarrassed him before smiling at me and shaking my hand.

⋆｡‧˚⋆

Lily is my saving grace tonight. Lando’s been busy all night, he keeps glancing at me from across the room and mouthing ‘i’m sorry’. But it’s honestly no worries because I’ve made a new best friend.

“Are you nervous?” She asks me, sipping on her cocktail in one of the drivers backyards.

I shrug, “A little? It’s weird- like I don’t know anyone but I know the whole world does.”

She laughs, nodding, “You’ll get used to it. Especially with Lando- not that you’re together or anything… but fame sort of follows.”

I hadn't even thought about that. I’ve seen the posts about him, the drama, and gossip that have been spread. I never realized that could be about me one day.

“I didn't mean to freak you out!” she says quickly.

“No! No, Don’t worry. I understand.” we fall into an easy conversation about work and how we’ve each ended up in our respective fields. Alex Albon interrupts us, placing his hand on Lily’s back and smiling.

“Lando is looking for you. Fair warning though… the boys are in interrogation mode.”

I should have listened to Alex’s warning more carefully because now I’m sat in a circle in front of a fire pit, being grilled.

“You seriously didn’t know Lando?” one asks.

“She’s american-”

“Actually her dad is a fan-” Lando tries to defend.

“Christ… of Alonso, not you.” someone laughs.

“Can we keep her?”

I laugh as Lando looks incredibly embarrassed, “She’s not a dog!”

“But I still like her!” It’s Carlos who’s arguing, “You know Alexandra would adore her- and we need someone to keep you in line.”

Charles nods along, “It’s true.”

“In line?” Lando scoffs, “I’m never out of line!”

Oscar raises a brow, “So we’re not gonna talk about that reporter you-”

“Okay!” Lando stops the conversation, “How about you lot have a normal conversation instead of interviewing Liv?”

Max Verstappen crosses his arms, looking pretty intimidating until his eyes light up, “Can I see your shared cat?” Now this is a topic I can talk about. I pull up photos of Juna and I yap about the silly things she’s done and clothes she’s ruined.

“So Lan… when are you getting her on Quadrant?” Max F smirks mischievously.

“She’s also not a guinea pig.” He says, leaning against my chair, “I’m so sorry.” He whispers to me.

“Don’t worry. It’s funny.”

“Can I ask you something, Olivia?” Max starts again and Lando immediately sits up.

“No.” he answers for me.

“What did you think about Lando’s drunk texting because let me tell you- I thought it was hilarious!” Lando’s best friend teases ruthlessly.

I’m trying not to laugh as Lando stands up, “I’m getting a drink!” When he walks past Max he pushes his head, messing up his hair.

I look at Max, “You’re torturing him.”

“He’s friends with you, He can handle it.” He just shrugs and while I try not to cling onto his words, I walk inside.

Lando’s back is turned to me, pouring some water.

I lean against the counter, “Looks like a fun way to celebrate a win.” I joke as he turns around quickly.

“I wanted to show you something after this- obeying the law and everything.” he shrugs. Take me somewhere? God he’s so mysterious yet it’s like I can see right through him.

I smile as he shyly looks down, “So the texts-”

“Lando, It’s fine.”

He shakes his head, his hand going to the back of his neck while his face bunches up, “No… I’m really sorry. I honestly had to delete them because I was so embarrassed. I never even drink that much!”

He’s rambling, his cheeks going pink when he notices I'm laughing, “Lan. It’s okay. Honestly it was funny.”

This seems to calm him, stepping closer and looking down at me, “I know that we’re not like best friends, or anything… but I did miss you.”

My heart skips a beat, meeting Lando’s icy eyes, “I…”

“Barbecue!” Daniel Riccardo screams as he enters the kitchen. We both spin around to see the man who slaps his arms back down to the side of his body, “Barbecue…?”

⋆｡‧˚⋆

Lando and I are spending three days together in Monaco. Wow. Okay. This is happening. This is crazy! What am I even thinking!? I can’t just crash at this guy's place all week! Not to mention he payed for my ticket which was super embarrassing!

Lando insists that it’s fine and that it’ll be great, “Lily and Alex will be here too! Everyone else who lives here as well but you don’t want to hang out with all my friends so I can show you around!” His smile is so bright that I just nod at his words. He’s holding Juna in his arms, he convinced me to fly out with her just because he missed her.

Cat dad.

⋆｡‧˚⋆

“Fuck!” I watch Lando fall into the harbor, slapping my hands over my mouth, I let out a muffled scream, “Lando!”

His head pops up with some sort of seaweed on him, He coughs once, climbs out of the water, and laughs, “That’s a first.” Is all he says before pulling his soaking shirt off.

I eye him, “Christ, we’re in public.” He eyes me right back, squeezing the water out with his arms… okay! “Are you okay?” I try to stop laughing but he looks like a wet puppy.

“I’m great!” He frowns, “Just got PUSHED in!” I scoff, clutching my necklace.

“I did no such thing!”

What truly happened was we were messing around, a little tipsy on the night air and how laughably terrible our day has been.

We had gotten turned away from three restaurants, We paid off the paparazzi, I fell on a bike and fucked up my knee, Juna got out and we almost died for a second…

This all led to multiple inside jokes and a feeling of being tied together through ridiculous trauma. When I pretended to push Lando in the water, he actually tripped and fell!

“We’re a mess.” He laughs as he runs his hand through my hair, “Well- I’m a mess!” He looks down at himself.

“Can't argue with that.” his mouth pulls into a smirk, “I think it’s time to go home.”

Lando sighs dramatically, “I think it’s time for ice cream.” He takes my hand in his, his cool skin warming me. He just pulls me in the other direction, I walk with him but my mind is on our intertwined hands.

He brings me to a little gelato place, orders in french and jokes with the owner as if he’s here 24/7.

“I didn’t know you speak french.” I say as we sit outside of the shop, licking my strawberry gelato off the spoon.

He laughs a bit, “I don’t. Just ice cream orders and casual greetings.” I smile at him, he’s in his own hoodie that he let me borrow before we went out. He felt horrible taking it from me but he was literally shivering with his wet shirt on.

I hum along to the song being played by a little band at a bar nearby, Lando smiles at me like he knows something.

“What?” I ask, feeling self conscious now.

He just shuts his mouth, mumbling, “Nothing…”

⋆｡‧˚⋆

LANDO NORRIS

She’s beautiful.

Genuinely gorgeous.

I’ve never really felt like this before. I think women are pretty every day, but with Liv… She’s just so stunning that it hurts.

When I fell into the water, I was pissed, but then I got out and she was laughing. She’s got a good laugh, the kind you want to laugh with. So I did, and I haven’t taken my eyes off her since. The moonlight sparkles in her eyes as she looks at me, confused.

I want to kiss her so badly.

It would be perfect, we’re alone, the streets are quiet, that band is strumming a toon. But I can’t tell if she fancies me. She’s here and she’s happy but I’ve never been good at being friends with women.

I don’t want to ruin what we have right now. It’s early still and she has two more days here…

“Lando?” Her sweet voice makes me sit up straighter, “You look freezing.” Her hand slips to my face, her hands are warm and I see the alarm in her face when she feels my cold skin.

I let out a dry laugh, “I am.”

Her hand moves down my arm, to my hand, “Let’s go then. Juna is probably plotting her second escape.” She takes my hand as we stand, not meeting my eyes, and that right there, gives me the tiniest bit of hope.

[gay-dorito-dust]

Dorito my beloved, would u ever consider writing a Jason x reader blurb where reader has a bad day and in an attempt to cheer them up he either brings home their fav ice cream or frozen treat or takes them out to somewhere like cold stone creamery for ice cream, and then after a successful cheering up reader kisses him on the cheek and then he tells because COLD… it feels weird to send an ask I’ve never done it before so sorry if it comes off weird? Anyways I love your writing and I’m always pleased to see u pop up on my feed :)!

Oh what I wouldn’t give to have this man comfort me on the shitty days.

Jason knew that as of recent there was storm cloud hanging over you. You looked as horrible and you felt horrible and given how little you talked about it, the distant look in your eyes or how all you wanted to do was retreat to your room and go to sleep said it all for him. He understood that not everyday was going to be a good one but recently it seemed as though you had more of a shitty week then anything else, and you just didn’t want him to know about it, but unfortunately for you Jason was far more observant when it comes to you than most give him credit for.

And he knew just what might help ease that feeling of nothingness, of the numbness and perpetual exhaustion that riddled you right now.

‘Sweetheart?’ Jason popped his head through the doorway, spotting your unmoving form on your shared bed, taking this as his cue as he entered the bedroom to sit on the bed as close to you to you as he could. ‘I got you a little something that I know might cheer you up, even it’s a little bit.’

‘What?’ Your say shortly, already feeling as though saying any more would only drain you even further then you already were to begin with.

‘Ice cream.’ Jason replied as he sets aside quite a decent sized tub of honeycomb ice cream on the bedside table before moving to make himself comfortable in bed next to you, making sure to keep some distance between the two of you unless you asked for him to close the distance. You managed to muster out a weak ‘thank you’ to Jason as you sat yourself up against the headboard of the bed, reaching out to grab the tub of ice cream to your lap, not noticing that Jason had a tub of ice cream himself until you looked over at him shovelling spoonfuls into his mouth; which made his cheeks puff out much like that of a chipmunk.

Jason tended to be somewhat of a messy eater and it lead to quite humorous situations where you were left wiping sauce from his lips, crumbs from his cheeks and left over ice cream that had somehow missed his mouth. You might not have been feeling all that great of a week but you knew you could always count on Jason to remember things you’ve said in passing, and use it to his advantage to make you feel better despite whether or not he himself wasn’t feeling too up to it; it was something about him that you loved deeply and couldn’t help but admire.

Your sour moods, depressive states and moments of sadness never lasted long when you were with Jason as he always brought a sense of comfort, a sense of understanding when he coddled you against his chest while whispering sweet nothings against your forehead. He was your comfort, your strength and your guiding light all in one and you would forever be grateful for everything he’s ever done for you, even if you didn’t have the strength to do so but you’d always make up for it by letting him know that his hard work payed off by one simple act; smiling.

So as you continued to watch Jason inhale half of his ice cream, not waiting long enough to finish swallowing before shovelling in more of the cold sweet treat, and in a way that you worried that he would give himself major brain freeze. However you were more focused on just hoe full his cheeks were getting and the mess he was leaving all across his face, some part off you felt as though this was all an intentional shoe just to make you feel better, but another part of you appreciated that Jason was more then willing to look a little goofy and be a little silly if it meant making you forget everything that has left you wanting to wallow in eternal isolation.

You could feel the weight lift from your chest and the fog clear form your head slowly as you started to smile, only to let out a soft chuckle which caught on Jason’s ear as he stopped his shovelling to look at you with soft, attentive eyes. ‘What is it? Is there something on my face?’ He asked through a mouthful of ice cream as he began to touch his face with his hand, something that only proved in smearing ice cream further across his cheeks, which only added to the humour of it all as your cheeks were more or less hurting from how large your smile had become.

‘Yes, a lot of it if you don’t stop doing that!’ You replied as you reached over to swat away his hand in order to wipe the ice cream that had started to dry on his cheeks even, only pulling away when you were satisfied with your work. ‘There, that’s better you don’t look like a messy chipmunk now, just a full one.’ You teased as you kissed that very same cheek, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath your chilled lips from the ice cream as you smiled before pulling away, not forgetting the beautiful way his breath hitched the moment your lips met his warm skin. ‘Thank you.’

‘Whatever for gorgeous?’ Jason asks as he looked at you adoringly, happy to see you be at least somewhat better now. In truth his cheeks were starting to hurt from how much melting ice cream he was stuffing in them full, not that he’d ever tell you that as all he wanted was to offer you some light in your darkest times, much like how you did for him when he was in the same predicament you’re in now.

‘For being you, for making me feel better, for being here with me and most importantly being my anything and everything.’ You say to him as you set aside your now empty tub of ice cream to cuddle into his side, resting your head against his chest with his arms moving to keep you tethered to him, though not that you were complaining as you felt his lips cascade gently semi-chilled kisses across your face, forehead and nose.

‘You don’t ever have to thank me for anything darling.’ Jason whispered to you as he noses the side of your head, kissing it. ‘I’m just come here with one thing in mind and one thing only, to make my sweetheart smile again like they should be always.’ He adds as he hold you tighter against him, smiling to himself in victory that he had helped ease the conflict within your mind, even for a little while but Jason was more then willing to keep up the fight until you get better again to stand up on your own.

[jzprncess]

threads of the past ౨ৎ

pairing : charles leclerc x reader

face claim : various people

main summary : Y/N and Charles grew up together in Monaco, sharing a close bond until her mother took her away after a family conflict. Many years later, after a loss she had to endure, Y/N returns to Monaco to fulfill a promise. There, she unexpectedly reunites with Charles, now a successful Formula 1 driver

part 2 previous

word count : 4,874

warnings: some designers do not exist in this au since i might take their fashion pieces!

note: my writing motivation is back. i honestly have the next part written out in my head. i hope you guys enjoy this one like you did the last. you may think this one is lacking unlike the last one but its the simple lore that was needed to build the story.

────୨ৎ────

Y/N sat frozen, her mother’s words from the letter echoing in her mind like a whisper she couldn’t ignore. Her fingers clutched the edges of the paper, creasing it as tears blurred her vision. She felt an overwhelming mix of emotions—grief, confusion, and a deep ache for a past she had buried but never truly let go of.

Go back to Monaco.

The words hit her like a tidal wave, crashing over her carefully constructed life in New York. She stared out the rain-speckled window, the city streets below buzzing with the endless motion of taxis, hurried footsteps, and life moving on. Her mother’s absence left an unbearable stillness, a void that no amount of city noise could fill.

New York was home now. It had been her mother’s dream to build a life here—a dream she had passed down to Y/N like an inheritance. It was where they’d built their routines, their traditions, their tiny world above the deli. It was where her mother had taught her to sew late into the night, where they’d baked cookies on Christmas Eve, where they’d danced in the kitchen to old jazz records on lazy Sunday mornings. New York was more than just a city; it was their sanctuary. How could she leave it behind?

But then, Monaco…

The memories were so vivid they felt tangible, like the scent of saltwater and fresh lavender carried by a Mediterranean breeze. She could see her father laughing as he helped her balance on a bike for the first time, hear the distant hum of the harbor as she and Charles raced down cobblestone streets, their carefree giggles echoing in the air. The warmth of those moments wrapped around her like a long-forgotten blanket, stirring something deep in her chest.

Y/N squeezed her eyes shut, guilt creeping in. She had tried so hard to move on, to create a life that didn’t revolve around what was left behind. But her mother’s words reopened wounds she thought had healed, forcing her to confront the parts of her life she had deliberately ignored.

Her thoughts wandered to her father. She had spent so many years trying not to think about him—about what they could have had if life had been kinder. There were pieces of him scattered in her memories, fragments of love and laughter that had faded over time. Now, her mother’s letter made her wonder: had she spent too long running from his memory? Had she missed out on understanding who he really was, or who she was because of him?

But it wasn’t just about him. It was about everything she had lost. The years she could have spent in Monaco, the friendships she could have nurtured, the life she could have had with Charles if things had been different. It all felt like a distant dream, one she wasn’t sure she could return to without breaking herself all over again.

And yet… what if her mother was right? What if Monaco was the missing piece of the puzzle?

The thought scared her. She had spent the last ten years building something here, something her mother had been proud of. She had grown roots in this city, and tearing them up felt impossible. Could she really pack up everything she had built, everything her mother had worked for, and leave it behind?

Her gaze fell to the letter again. Her mother’s handwriting, once so familiar, now felt like a message from a world that no longer existed.

“I don’t want to leave you, Mom,” Y/N whispered, her voice trembling. Her chest felt tight, the weight of the decision pressing down on her. She knew that going back to Monaco would mean facing everything she had avoided for so long. It would mean confronting her grief, her regrets, and the pieces of herself she had tried to bury.

But it would also mean honoring her mother’s wish, fulfilling a promise that had been made before Y/N was old enough to understand it. It would mean reconnecting with the parts of her that she had left behind, no matter how much it hurt.

Her tears fell freely now, landing on the letter in her lap. She took a shaky breath, her hands trembling as she folded it carefully and set it aside.

“I don’t know if I’m ready,” she admitted, her voice barely audible. “But I’ll try. For you.”

The decision wasn’t final—not yet. It would take time to gather the courage to face everything waiting for her in Monaco. But for the first time, Y/N allowed herself to imagine it. To picture the streets, the harbor, the life she had left behind.

She wasn’t ready to pack up and leave just yet. But in her heart, she knew the first step had already been taken.

Y/N tucked the letter into the top drawer of her desk, her fingers lingering on the handle for a moment before she pushed it shut. Her room felt smaller now, like the weight of her memories had made the walls press inward. She leaned back in her chair, staring at the ceiling, her mind still racing.

Hours passed in a haze. She busied herself with tasks she didn’t need to do—organizing her closet, rearranging the kitchen shelves, watering her plants even though she’d done it yesterday. Anything to avoid the gnawing ache in her chest.

By the time the sun began to set, Y/N found herself on the fire escape outside her window. She sat there with a mug of tea, the metal cold beneath her as she looked out at the city she loved so much. The skyline was painted in hues of orange and pink, the soft hum of life below serving as a constant reminder of why she had stayed.

Her phone buzzed beside her. She hesitated before picking it up, half-expecting a message from someone from Monaco who had heard the news. Instead, it was a simple text from her best friend in New York.

gracie : Hey, just checking in. You good? Let me know if you want me to bring over some food or just sit and scroll TikTok with you. Love you.

A small smile tugged at Y/N’s lips. Gracie always had a way of knowing when she needed a little grounding. The thought of her best friend showing up with her oversized hoodie, a random array of snacks, and the determination to turn any bad mood around made Y/N’s chest ache in the best way.

She glanced back at the letter, then at her phone.

y/n : I’m okay. Just… processing. But thank you. I love you, too. 

It was a lie—she wasn’t okay, not entirely. But how could she explain the turmoil in her chest? The memories of Monaco tugging her one way and the life she’d built in New York pulling her another? How could she tell Gracie that her heart felt like it was caught in a game of tug-of-war with itself?

The truth was, she didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know how to face the idea of returning to Monaco, a place she hadn’t called home in years.

Her gaze fell on the letter again, her mother’s handwriting looping across the page. The words “find your way back” seemed to glow, as though they were written just for her, meant to haunt her in this moment.

Gracie would understand—she always did. But this? This was something Y/N wasn’t sure she could explain to anyone.

Y/N stared at the stack of stationery in front of her. She hadn't written a letter in years—texting, emailing, and social media messages had long replaced the old-fashioned art. But this time, there was something different. Something final.

She had made her decision, but that didn't make the weight of it any easier to bear. She needed to say goodbye. To all the people who had made New York feel like home, who had helped her heal, and who had been there for her in the quiet moments of grief.

The pen felt heavy in her hand as she began writing.

Dear Leo,

I don't even know how to begin this, or if it will even do justice to how much you’ve meant to me. When my mom and I first moved to New York, we didn’t have much. You let us rent that apartment above your deli, and for that, I’ll be forever grateful. It wasn’t just the rent you helped with—it was the kindness, the way you checked in on us, and the warmth you always offered with your sandwiches. You were like family to us, Leo.

I remember the way you’d smile when I’d sneak into the deli just to say hello, how you’d ask about my day as if you had all the time in the world. I’ll never forget those moments. You became a part of our life in ways you may not even realize.

I’m writing this because, with everything happening, it’s time for me to say goodbye. I’ve made the decision to return to Monaco to deal with the past. It’s hard to leave New York, especially with all the memories of my mom, but I know it’s time to face what’s waiting for me.

I want to thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for everything you did for us. Your generosity and the way you opened your door to us—it meant more than words can express. I’ll always cherish those memories.

Wishing you all the best,

Y/N

⋆

Dear my fashion connections,

First off, I just want to say how incredibly thankful I am for all the opportunities you’ve given me. Working with you, learning the ins and outs of the fashion world, and seeing my designs take life has been a dream come true. From the custom pieces to the small fashion shows, you’ve helped me grow as a designer in ways I never expected.

I’m reaching out because, as difficult as this is, I’ve made the decision to return to Monaco. The decision has nothing to do with my passion for design—it’s about facing my past and moving forward with the pieces of me that I’ve left behind.

I want to reassure you that I’m not stepping away from design. Fashion is part of who I am, and that won’t change. I’ll still be working on my pieces, growing, and pushing my creativity.

I hope we can continue to stay connected, and who knows what collaborations the future might hold. I’ve learned so much from you, and I’m excited to see where our paths may cross again.

With gratitude,

Y/N

⋆

Dear Gracie,

I don’t even know where to start. You’ve been my best friend for so long, and the thought of writing this letter makes it all feel so final. But here we are. I’ve made the decision to return to Monaco. I know it’s hard for you to hear, and it’s probably hard for me to say, but it feels like the right thing to do.

It’s been over a week since I opened the letter from my mom, and I’ve been battling this inner war—do I stay in the place I’ve built for myself here, or do I go back to the place I left so long ago? It’s not that I want to leave New York. God, New York has become my home. But Monaco has always been there, lurking in the back of my mind, and after my mom’s passing, I realize I have to face it. There are things there, pieces of myself, that I’ve left behind. I need to reconnect with them, and with the life I thought I’d never return to.

I’ve spent so many years here, with you by my side, making memories that I’ll carry with me forever. From all the late nights working on sketches to those impromptu trips to get ice cream, it’s all been a part of my journey. And now, as hard as it is, I have to say goodbye for now.

You’ve been my rock, Gracie. You’ve been my person when I needed someone to laugh with, someone to cry with, and someone to remind me that life keeps moving forward even when it feels like it’s falling apart. I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve been to me. You’ve made New York feel like home, and you’ve made my life better just by being in it.

I can’t imagine what life is going to look like without you by my side, but I promise you that this isn’t the end of our friendship. It’s just a chapter closing. I’ll miss you more than words can express, but I know that we’ll find a way to stay in touch, even if we’re miles apart. Maybe one day, I’ll bring you to Monaco, and we’ll share the life I left behind with you.

Thank you for being the best friend I could’ve asked for.

With all my love,

Y/N

Y/N had sealed the last envelope and taken a moment to breathe. The letters were sent—her goodbyes were final, and soon, the people she loved would know that she had made her choice. The cab ride to the airport felt almost surreal, like it was happening to someone else. She couldn’t quite believe she was leaving New York. Her home. Her memories. Gracie and Leo, even her fashion connections... everyone would soon understand that she was gone, but they wouldn’t get the chance to say goodbye to her in person.

She had made her peace, but the reality of it all hadn't fully settled in. The taxi sped through the streets of New York, her favorite spots flickering past the windows. Would she miss this? The city felt like it had become a part of her, yet she knew deep down that she had to leave.

At the airport, everything moved in a blur. Checking in, passing through security—it all felt so automatic. She wasn’t ready to face it, but she had no choice. Her bags were already packed, her mind made up. As she walked toward her gate, the weight of the goodbyes started to feel heavier, especially as she glanced at her phone, now filled with messages she wasn’t ready to read.

As the plane began to taxi down the runway, the thoughts of leaving New York began to catch up to her. She hadn’t told Gracie, not fully. The letter would speak for her. She had said everything she needed to in it, but the truth of her leaving felt too raw to say out loud.

It wasn’t just the city she was leaving behind. It was the memories of the life she built with her mom. The deli. The quiet mornings with Leo. The late-night baking sessions that had become so familiar. Those pieces of her life, the ones she had woven so carefully, felt like they were slipping away, but there was no going back. She had made her decision.

Her phone buzzed again, and she glanced at it for just a moment before turning it face-down in her lap. It was too late. She wasn’t turning back.

By the time the plane reached cruising altitude, the weight of the decision hit her in full force. The moment to reflect had come and gone, and now there was only moving forward. No more doubts. No more goodbyes.

Gracie would get the letter soon enough. The others too. She knew they’d be shocked, maybe even upset. But it was the right thing to do.

The next chapter had already begun, and Monaco awaited her.

Back in New York:

Gracie, completely unaware of what Y/N had been planning, sat at her desk in the quiet of her apartment. The envelope was plain, just like any other. When she opened it, she smiled, thinking it would be one of those notes from Y/N she always got—something lighthearted and full of her usual sass.

But when she read the words, her stomach dropped.

"Dear gracie," the letter started. "I don’t even know where to start. You’ve been my best friend for so long, and the thought of writing this letter makes it all feel so final. But here we are. I’ve made the decision to return to Monaco. I know it’s hard for you to hear, and it’s probably hard for me to say, but it feels like the right thing to do."

Gracie blinked at the letter, her heart racing. She stared at the words, trying to make sense of them. Back to Monaco? What did that even mean? Gracie couldn’t believe it. Y/N was just... gone? No warning? No final hug?

She read it again. And then again. But the words still didn’t change.

Y/N was leaving. For real.

Elsewhere in New York:

Leo stood behind the counter, wiping down the marble as he always did when the last of the customers had left for the evening. His gaze flicked to the envelope that had just been slid under the door.

It wasn’t unusual to get letters, but this one was different. He recognized Y/N’s handwriting immediately.

When he opened it, the familiar warmth of her words filled him with a strange ache. She was leaving. She didn’t say goodbye in person. Just... a letter.

“Dear leo,” she had written. “I’m writing this because, with everything happening, it’s time for me to say goodbye. I’ve made the decision to return to Monaco to deal with the past. It’s hard to leave New York, especially with all the memories of my mom, but I know it’s time to face what’s waiting for me. I want to thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for everything you did for us. Your generosity and the way you opened your door to us—it meant more than words can express. I’ll always cherish those memories.”

Leo set the letter down slowly, the quiet of the deli suddenly feeling heavier than it ever had before. He knew it had been coming, in a way—Y/N was always so restless. But this was still a shock. A final goodbye he hadn’t been ready for.

Y/N stepped off the plane, the familiar scent of the Mediterranean air hitting her senses immediately. She hadn’t been back in Monaco since she was a child, and everything seemed both the same and completely different. As she walked through the airport, her mind buzzed with a thousand thoughts—some exciting, others overwhelming. She had chosen not to rent the house her family used to live in; it felt too much like stepping back into a past she couldn’t fully reclaim. No, she needed a fresh start. A new place. A clean slate.

She made her way to the car rental desk, the keys for a small, sleek car handed to her without a second glance. The driver in her could appreciate the smooth engine and the way the car hugged the curves of the roads leading up to her new apartment.

Her new apartment was on the quieter side of Monaco, away from the busy tourist spots, but still within easy reach of everything she might need. The building itself had an old charm, the kind of elegance that came with age. But inside, it was a modern mix of comfort and style. A space to breathe. A space to start over.

Her things were already waiting in boxes, ready to be unpacked. But before she dove into the routine of arranging her life, she stood by the window, gazing out at the panoramic view of the harbor below. The water shimmered under the midday sun, the yachts gliding past like fleeting memories.

It didn’t feel real yet. She had made her decision to return, but everything felt like it was in the air, just waiting to fall into place. With one last sigh, she headed toward the boxes, determined to start making this new chapter her own.

Y/N spent the next few days getting settled in. The apartment felt like a blank canvas, and she knew it would take time before it felt like home. The first thing she did was get the essentials—groceries, toiletries, some clothes to unpack—but there were no rush to make the space feel permanent. It was strange, but there was a certain comfort in taking her time.

She spent a lot of time staring out the window, lost in thought. She couldn’t help but wonder about all the things she had left behind in Monaco—the memories of her childhood, the friends she’d lost contact with, and the family she’d once known. It wasn’t easy to push aside those feelings of nostalgia, but she wasn’t here to relive the past. She was here to move forward.

She got to work organizing the apartment, focusing on small tasks to keep her mind busy. Her walls would eventually be filled with art, her shelves with books, and the space would come to life in a way that felt uniquely hers. But for now, it was quiet. Too quiet.

She hadn’t made many plans yet—apart from figuring out how to balance her life in Monaco with the projects she’d started in New York. A little bit of the old Y/N mixed with the new. She still wasn’t sure about everything, about what exactly she was supposed to do next, but she’d figure it out. Like she always did.

Y/N was sitting on her new bed, the unpacked boxes scattered around her, when her phone buzzed. It was Gracie. Her stomach dropped a little—she had hoped the goodbye letter would be enough of an explanation, but now Gracie was calling, and that only meant one thing.

Taking a deep breath, Y/N answered. “Hey, G.”

Gracie’s voice came through quieter than usual. “Y/N... what’s going on? I got your letter, but... I don’t know. I don’t understand. Why didn’t you say goodbye? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Y/N’s throat tightened. She had known this call would come. “I’m sorry, Gracie. I thought it’d be easier this way. I didn’t know how to say it out loud... that I was leaving.”

“Leaving?” Gracie repeated, her voice small. “But... why? You—everything was so good, Y/N. You were... you were happy, I thought. You always told me New York was your home, and now you’re... gone? Just like that?”

Y/N closed her eyes, feeling the weight of the distance, both physical and emotional, that was growing between them. “I wasn’t happy, G. Not the way I should’ve been. I had to leave. I needed a change. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but I wasn’t sure I could. Not yet.”

There was a long pause on the other end of the line. Gracie finally spoke, her voice a little shakier than before. “I don’t get it. Why Monaco? After everything? After everything you built here, Y/N...”

Y/N leaned back against the wall, trying to find the right words. “Because... because it’s where I started, G. It’s where I was happy when I was little. It’s where I’ve always felt a connection to, even if I left. It’s... complicated, okay? But it’s where I need to be right now.”

Gracie let out a small sigh. “I just—why didn’t you let me in? Why didn’t you tell me you were struggling? I would’ve been there for you. I could’ve been there for you.”

Y/N swallowed hard, guilt weighing on her chest. “I didn’t want to burden you. I didn’t want to drag you into my mess. You’re doing so well, G. You have everything going for you.”

Gracie’s voice cracked. “But you were my best friend, Y/N. I would’ve done anything for you.”

Y/N blinked back tears, her hand tightening around the phone. “I know. I know, and I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you.”

“I’m not mad at you,” Gracie said softly. “I just... I don’t know. I don’t understand. I don’t know how to feel.”

“I know,” Y/N whispered. “I’m not asking you to understand. I just—this is something I had to do. I can’t change it. I wish I could’ve been more honest with you, but I didn’t know how. I still don’t.”

Gracie was silent for a few moments before she spoke again, the sadness still lingering in her voice. “I just... I don’t know what to say to you. I feel like I’ve lost you.”

Y/N’s heart ached. “You haven’t lost me, G. I’m still here. I might be in Monaco, but I’m still the same person. I’ll always be your best friend. I promise you that.”

Gracie took a deep breath, her voice steady but soft. “I want to believe you. I just... I didn’t expect this, Y/N.”

Y/N nodded, even though she knew Gracie couldn’t see her. “I didn’t expect it either. I wish I could explain it better. But I promise you, I haven’t forgotten about you. I’m still here, even if it’s from a distance. I’ll write, or even better, i'll spam you with emojis everyday. I won’t disappear.”

Gracie was quiet for a moment before she responded, her voice calmer. “Okay. I get it. You had to do what’s best for you, right? I understand that. I’m sad, but I get it.”

“I’m sorry it had to be like this. I didn’t want to leave without telling you everything,” Y/N admitted.

Gracie gave a small, soft chuckle. “You’re y/n. You don’t have to explain everything. If you need to go, you need to go. Just... make sure you take care of yourself, okay?”

Y/N felt a sense of relief wash over her. “I will. And thank you, for understanding. You’re the best, Gracie. I’m so lucky to have you.”

“I know,” Gracie replied, her tone light but sincere. “I love you, and I want the best for you. Just don’t be a stranger.”

“I won’t,” Y/N said, her heart warm. “Love you too. I’ll be in touch soon, okay?”

“Okay,” Gracie agreed softly. “Take care, Y/N. I’m here whenever you need me.”

It had been a few days since Y/N had arrived back in Monaco. The shock of the decision had started to wear off, leaving a quiet sense of resolution in its place. Her boxes were unpacked, her clothes neatly hanging in the closet, and the apartment—though still unfamiliar—had started to feel more like hers with every passing hour.

The mornings here were different—brighter, lighter. It wasn’t just the sun, but something else in the air. There was a strange peace in being back, despite the swirl of emotions that still threatened to overwhelm her. It wasn’t like New York. It wasn’t the same life, the same chaos, the same pace. But there was a stillness to Monaco that made it feel like the right place to slow down for a while, to figure out what she truly needed.

Y/N stretched on the couch, the cool air from the open balcony window brushing against her skin. She had spent the morning walking around, reacquainting herself with the streets she hadn’t walked down since she was little. Nothing looked quite the same, but everything felt just as familiar. The places she remembered in bits and pieces—the ice cream shop with the blue awning, the park with the old stone fountain—had all changed. But that was to be expected. Time did that to places.

Her phone buzzed on the coffee table. She picked it up, seeing a message from Leo, the deli owner downstairs.

“Hope you’re settling in okay! Let me know if you need anything or just want to chat.”

She smiled at the message, grateful for the familiar kindness. Leo had been like family to her and her mom during their time in New York, always there with a warm meal or a quiet word when they needed it most.

Y/N had planned on responding, but the sound of a knock at the door interrupted her thoughts. She set her phone down and made her way to the door, her heart picking up just a little. She wasn’t expecting anyone.

She opened it to find a small package on the doorstep, tied with a simple twine. There was no note, just the box. A gift, perhaps?

Curiosity piqued, Y/N brought it inside and sat on the couch, carefully untying the string. Inside was a small plant—an olive tree sapling, delicate but full of potential. A simple, yet meaningful gesture. She ran her fingers over the leaves, feeling a small sense of comfort.

The city had been welcoming her back in its own quiet way.

She glanced at her phone again, then typed a quick message to Leo: "Thank you for the plant. It's perfect."

With a deep breath, Y/N leaned back into the couch. She was still figuring out how this new chapter would look—how long she’d stay, what she’d do next, and whether she’d ever truly feel at home again in Monaco.

But for now, she was here. And that was enough.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

taglist: @heluvsjappie @awritingtree @steamy-smokey @alex-wotton @ssarqhxo @rainy-darling @mymilkshakefun @hs2016 @linnygirl09 @coral7161

[ghostlynightpanda]

Can I please request a reader with Hoshina from Kaiju No.8 and the reader gets injured when on a mission? And Hoshina freaks out and gets scared and confesses?

Thank you for writing, I hope you have a great day! <3

The Blade That Protects You

English is not my first language, so if you find mistakes, feel free to contact me!

Synopsis: Hoshina never lets himself think about love—it was always duty first. But when he sees you injured in battle, he realizes that, for the first time, someone is more important than his mission.  

Warnings/content: Hoshina Soshiro x fem!reader, 3.707 words

Hoshina Soshiro was a man defined by his duty. The Vice-Commander of the Defense Force, he was a towering figure, known for his sharp instincts and even sharper blade. His calm demeanor and precise movements in battle had earned him the respect of his comrades, and his unwavering commitment to protecting humanity was beyond question. He was no stranger to loss, and he'd learned long ago that emotions had no place on the battlefield.

And yet, no matter how much he told himself it was all just part of the job, there was one person who seemed to find a way into the cracks of his armor.

You.

From the first time you'd been assigned to his team, there was something about your presence that unsettled him. You were strong, capable, and had a way of understanding him without words—something he'd never known he needed. But it also made things harder. When you smiled at him after a successful mission, or when your eyes met his across a crowded room, he couldn't ignore the strange tug in his chest. But Hoshina was determined to keep his focus, even if it meant keeping his distance.

Love had no place in the world they lived in. The Kaijus attacked without warning, destroying cities and taking lives. There was no room for feelings in a war that demanded everything, not even for someone as important to him as you.

But he couldn't deny it anymore.

As you trained side by side, fought together in every battle, the quiet affection he felt for you grew stronger. And every time he saw you walk away unscathed, part of him relaxed—just a little. He wouldn't admit it to himself, but the thought of losing you... it terrified him. He couldn't protect everyone, but you—he couldn't lose you.

Still, he kept his distance, unwilling to allow any weakness to compromise his focus. Until that day.

The mission was clear: a Kaiju had been sighted near a small village, and the Defense Force needed to neutralize it before it could cause any further destruction. As always, Hoshina was calm, calculated, and focused, his mind running through the plans for the attack. His team was ready, including you, his most trusted and capable comrade. You'd been by his side through countless missions, and today was no different. The two of you worked in perfect sync, your movements sharp, your timing flawless.

The streets of the village were eerily quiet as the two of you led the charge. Hoshina's blades gleamed in the daylight, and you were right beside him, every step in sync as you closed in on the Kaiju's location. The air was thick with anticipation.

As they approached the Kaiju's known position, the sense of calm that usually filled Hoshina's chest began to flicker. There was something… off about this mission. It wasn't just the nagging sense of danger that came with every battle—it was something else, something he couldn't quite place. Still, he didn't let it show. He couldn't afford to.

The ground suddenly shuddered, followed by the deafening roar of the Kaiju as it erupted from behind a building. It was bigger than expected—a towering, monstrous creature that crushed the earth beneath its weight. The villagers screamed and scattered, but Hoshina and his team immediately jumped into action.

The fight was intense. The Kaiju was fast, its massive limbs swinging with terrifying force. But Hoshina's training had prepared him for this. He fought with precision, cutting down the beast's appendages with practiced ease. Yet, in the chaos, something went wrong.

A second Kaiju appeared—this one much smaller, but just as deadly. It ambushed the group from the opposite direction, catching everyone off guard.

Hoshina's heart skipped a beat as he heard a shout—a familiar voice.

You.

He whipped his head around, eyes wide with realization as he saw you standing in front of a group of civilians, your back turned to the second Kaiju. You were trying to shield them, but you hadn't noticed the threat behind you until it was too late. The Kaiju lunged, its massive claws outstretched, ready to strike.

"No!" Hoshina shouted, but it was too late. In one swift motion, you threw yourself between the Kaiju and the civilians, taking the hit.

His heart stopped.

Time seemed to slow as he watched you stagger back, blood spilling from your side. His breath caught in his throat, a cold panic gripping him. You fell to your knees, your vision blurred from the pain, but your hands still gripped your weapon, desperate to protect those who couldn't protect themselves.

And just like that, everything else—the Kaiju, the battle, the mission—faded away. Hoshina didn't think. His instincts took over, and he was charging forward, faster than he'd ever moved before, his blade cutting through anything in his path.

The world blurred as he reached you. In the blink of an eye, the second Kaiju fell to the ground in a heap, its body torn apart by Hoshina's precise strikes. But none of that mattered anymore. His focus was solely on you.

He reached your side, breathless, and dropped to his knees beside you. His hands pressed against the wound in your side, trying desperately to stop the blood from spilling out.

"Stay with me," he said, his voice more frantic than he ever let on. "Don't you dare close your eyes. Not now. Not like this."

Your breathing was shallow, each inhale ragged as you forced a weak smile, trying to reassure him, but the blood loss was too much. You reached for his hand, your fingers trembling.

"I'm fine… I'll be okay," you whispered, but he could see the pain in your eyes. Your words were a lie, and you both knew it.

Hoshina's heart thudded painfully in his chest as he tightened his grip on your hand. He wanted to shout, to scream at you for being so reckless, but instead, his voice broke with something more raw, more desperate.

"Why did you—?!" he started, his tone harsh, but the words failed him. All that came out was a ragged breath. He didn't know what to say, how to express the panic and the fear clawing at his chest.

You tried to laugh, but it turned into a cough, blood staining your lips. "I couldn't just let them die…" you trailed off, but your voice was soft, distant.

His eyes were wide as he desperately looked around, knowing that the medics couldn't get here fast enough. This wasn't how it was supposed to end. He wasn't supposed to feel like this—so completely helpless. The world around him suddenly felt like a blur, the battle raging on as if it didn't matter.

Everything in him screamed to protect you, to keep you safe, but he had failed. He had failed to protect you.

He didn't know when it had happened. He didn't know when he had started caring about you this much—but now, as he held you in his arms, his mind raced with one undeniable truth:

He couldn't lose you.

The world around Hoshina felt like it was collapsing. His focus had narrowed down to just one thing: you. Nothing else mattered—not the Kaiju, not the blood-soaked battlefield, not the frantic orders being barked over his communicator. It was just you, lying in his arms, barely clinging to consciousness as your breathing grew shallower by the second.

"Stay with me," he repeated, his voice low, almost desperate. His hand pressed harder against your side, trying in vain to slow the bleeding, but it was no use. The blood kept flowing. You could feel it too—your body growing weaker with every heartbeat.

Your hand trembled in his, and you gave him a faint, almost apologetic smile. "I'll be okay… It's not that bad…"

But you both knew that wasn't true. His eyes searched your face, looking for any sign that you were truly alright, but all he saw was the faint trace of pain in your expression and the weariness creeping in around your eyes.

"No," Hoshina said hoarsely, his voice rough with emotion. His throat constricted as he fought back the panic. "This isn't... You're not okay. You're not supposed to be like this. Not... not like this." His voice cracked at the end, a stark break in the calm façade he worked so hard to maintain.

You tried to sit up, but Hoshina's hand on your chest stopped you, firm but gentle. "Don't. You need to stay still." His tone was more commanding than ever, but his eyes, normally steely and stoic, were full of vulnerability. It was a side of him you rarely saw, and it made your chest tighten.

"You're scaring me," he added, voice barely above a whisper. His eyes were wide with something unrecognizable—fear. Pure, unfiltered fear. "I—" He paused, as if the words were caught in his throat, struggling to break free. "I can't lose you."

You blinked at him, unsure if you'd heard him correctly. His usual confident, slightly teasing demeanor had completely fallen away, leaving only raw emotion in its place. He looked down at you with eyes that were no longer the calculated, controlled gaze of a warrior, but the gaze of a man who had lost himself in a moment of sheer terror.

You opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out. It was as if his admission had taken all the words away from you.

But it was all so clear now. That strange, tight knot in your chest whenever he was near—the way your heart raced a little faster than it should when his eyes lingered just a little too long. You'd seen the way he kept his distance, the way he hid his feelings behind a wall of duty. You'd always assumed it was just the way he was, just part of the persona he'd built. But now, you could see the truth in his eyes.

You tried to lift a hand, weakly cupping his face, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath your fingertips. "Hoshina…" you whispered, your voice raspy. "You're… you're not going to lose me."

He let out a shuddering breath at your touch, his entire body tense with fear. "I—" His voice caught in his throat, and he closed his eyes, trying to steady himself. "I've seen too many people die," he admitted, his voice barely audible. "I couldn't—" His words faltered, a tear slipping past his stoic defenses, but he quickly wiped it away, cursing under his breath.

You reached up with your other hand, brushing your thumb against his cheek. "You don't have to face this alone, Hoshina."

He looked at you then—really looked at you—and for a moment, it seemed like the entire world had slowed. He felt something shift inside him, something he couldn't explain. His protective instinct had always been there, but this—this was something different. Something more powerful, something that gripped him in a way he couldn't control.

In that moment, Hoshina realized he had been fooling himself all along. It wasn't just about duty. It wasn't just about protecting the people he cared about or fighting against the Kaiju. He had been terrified of letting anyone close, terrified of loving someone because it meant he could lose them. But now, holding you in his arms, knowing how much he needed you, he understood.

He needed you, more than he ever wanted to admit.

The medics arrived just in time, and Hoshina reluctantly allowed them to take over. As they moved you onto a stretcher, he stood frozen, watching with his arms still outstretched toward you, as if he could somehow keep you from slipping away.

But you looked at him, your eyes meeting his once more, a faint, comforting smile tugging at the corner of your lips. "I'm going to be okay, Hoshina," you whispered, and even though you were still pale, still weak, you managed to say it with all the conviction you could muster. "I promise."

He didn't reply, but his heart, which had been clenched tightly in fear just moments ago, slowly began to ease.

The battle had ended, but the war within Hoshina was far from over.

The medics had worked quickly, stabilizing you before rushing you to the base's infirmary. Hoshina had wanted to go with you, but he'd been stopped at the door—his commanding officer Mina Ashiro had insisted that he take a moment to recover, to tend to his own wounds, but he hadn't heard a word she'd said. All he could think about was you. Was it enough? Had they saved you?

He paced back and forth outside the infirmary, his usual calm demeanor gone. His hands were trembling, not from fatigue, but from the overwhelming weight of what had just happened. What if you hadn't made it? The thought was enough to send a cold shiver down his spine.

Minutes felt like hours.

When the door finally opened, his breath caught in his throat. You stood there, looking pale but alive. Your side was wrapped in bandages, but your eyes—your eyes were still sharp, still focused, and that alone was enough to ease the storm brewing in his chest.

You met his gaze, your lips curving into a tired smile. "Told you I'd be okay," you said, your voice still a little hoarse but carrying a lightness that Hoshina couldn't ignore.

For a moment, neither of you spoke. The weight of the day hung between you like a fragile thread, but Hoshina couldn't hold it in any longer. His heart still hammered in his chest, his chest tight with the lingering fear of losing you.

He stepped toward you, the words slipping out before he could stop them. "Don't ever do that again," he said, his voice low but full of quiet intensity. His hand reached for yours, fingers brushing against yours with a gentleness that was rare for him. "Don't you ever—" he stopped himself, taking a shaky breath. "You can't just throw your life away like that."

His words were laced with a desperation that you hadn't seen before. It was as if he was speaking from a place deep inside himself that he had never allowed to show—his fears, his worries, his need to protect you.

You took a small step forward, closing the distance between you. "I don't think I'm the one who's been reckless, Hoshina," you said softly. Your gaze softened as you reached up, touching his face gently with your hand. "You've been holding yourself back for too long."

Hoshina flinched at your touch, his eyes flicking down to where your hand rested against his cheek. The warmth of your touch made his pulse race, but there was something else too—something he hadn't expected. It was the sense of comfort, of belonging, and it was something that he had tried to push away for so long.

"I don't want to lose you," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper, the words almost as if he was afraid of speaking them out loud. "I can't… I can't keep pretending that I don't care. You—" he broke off, exhaling slowly as if the admission had drained him completely.

For a brief moment, there was silence. You stared at him, eyes soft and understanding. Then you smiled, that familiar warmth reaching your eyes. "You don't have to pretend anymore, Hoshina."

He swallowed hard, his eyes never leaving yours. His heart beat loudly in his chest, and the weight of his own emotions felt like it was about to crush him. But in that moment, he didn't care. He didn't care about the war, the missions, or the responsibilities that had always kept him distant from everyone else.

All he cared about was you.

You could see the uncertainty in his eyes, the lingering doubt that maybe this was all too much, too fast. You stepped closer, gently cupping his face in your hands, guiding him to look at you. "It's okay. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

Hoshina felt his chest tighten as the rush of relief washed over him. He couldn't help but lean into your touch, his hand slowly coming up to rest over yours, his thumb brushing against the back of your hand.

"You're not going to leave me," he repeated softly, almost as if testing the words, tasting the promise they carried.

You shook your head gently, your voice soft but certain. "I'm not going anywhere."

For the first time in a long while, Hoshina allowed himself to truly relax. It wasn't all fixed. There were still battles ahead, still scars to heal, but for now, he allowed himself to believe in the quiet comfort of your words.

He wasn't alone anymore. And maybe that was enough—for now.

The tension between you two slowly ebbed, the space between you shrinking as you stood there in the infirmary. The faint hum of the lights and the distant sounds of the base were the only noise, but it felt like the world had quieted around you both. In the midst of everything—the war, the losses, the dangers—the two of you had found a small, fragile moment of peace.

Hoshina couldn't stop looking at you. His eyes traced the curve of your face, the way your hair fell around your shoulders, the way your lips curved into a smile despite the pain you'd just been through. You were still here, standing in front of him, and that was more than he could've asked for.

His heart, still racing from the events of the day, slowly began to settle as he absorbed the truth that you were alive, that he hadn't lost you, but there was still something weighing on him. Something that had been gnawing at him ever since that battle. Something he couldn't run from any longer.

The air between you felt thick now, charged with the unsaid words that had been building for so long. His fingers twitched at his sides, longing to reach for you again, but there was something more pressing—something inside him that was finally pushing him to speak.

He let out a shaky breath, his heart pounding again, louder this time. His gaze dropped for a moment as his hand rubbed the back of his neck, the action betraying his nervousness. You noticed, and it made you smile a little. It was rare for Hoshina to show this kind of vulnerability. For all his strength, for all his calm in the face of danger, this was different. This was him being human.

"I… I've never been good with words," Hoshina started, his voice rough. He cleared his throat and looked back up at you, locking his gaze with yours. "I've spent so long pushing people away, pretending I didn't care, thinking it would be easier that way." His eyes softened, a vulnerability in them that only you could see. "But I can't keep doing that. Not with you."

You tilted your head slightly, waiting for him to continue.

"You're important to me," he said, his words coming out slow and deliberate, like he was forcing himself to accept them. "More than I ever realized. When I saw you… when I thought I'd lost you…" He trailed off, his breath catching. He stared at you, the depth of his feelings laid bare in the silence between you two. "I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. I—I don't want to lose you."

Your heart swelled, hearing the rawness in his voice. This was Hoshina, the man who had always been so composed, so focused, but here he was, completely open, completely unguarded. And it was all for you.

You stepped closer to him, your voice soft and tender. "Hoshina..."

He closed his eyes for a moment, his hands clenched at his sides as if fighting the urge to reach out for you. The words were there, burning at the back of his throat, but it felt so overwhelming. Could he really say it out loud? Could he put those feelings into words?

When he opened his eyes again, they were softer, more vulnerable than you'd ever seen. He took a step closer to you, and for the first time, the distance between you wasn't one of duty or fear—it was one of connection. He took a deep breath, his voice steady but full of emotion.

"I love you."

The words hung in the air, raw and unpolished but sincere. There was no hesitation this time, no wall he had to break through. He didn't need to hide anymore. He had said it. And for the first time, Hoshina felt light. The weight of the years spent running from his feelings lifted, and he stood there, waiting for your response with nothing but sincerity in his eyes.

You stood there in shock for just a second, the depth of his words sinking in. And then you smiled. It wasn't a quiet smile or a gentle one—it was something more profound, something that filled the space between you two, something that told him everything he needed to know.

"I love you too," you whispered, and it was as if the world had suddenly snapped back into focus.

Hoshina let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. The tension in his body finally dissolved as his hand reached out to take yours, his fingers intertwining with yours. For once, there was no doubt, no fear, just you and him—no more walls, no more barriers.

"I won't let you go," he said quietly, his thumb gently brushing against the back of your hand. "I'll protect you. No matter what."

You nodded, squeezing his hand in return. "I'll be right here," you replied softly. "With you. Always."

The confession wasn't just a declaration of love—it was a promise. A promise that no matter the battles, no matter the odds, you would face them together.

And for the first time in a long time, Hoshina believed in something beyond the fight. He believed in you. He believed in this.

Masterlist

[yolli-es]

Please, I'm really sorry

Tags: NO spoilers for season 2, sadness, rude treatment, mentions of death

I doubt this is in character, so treat it as a silly sketch. Writing text is harder than headcanons..

MY ENGLISH IS BAD AND THERE MAY BE MEANING ERRORS

You adore Jinx; you love and tolerate her. Your acquaintance was unexpected, and your subsequent friendship was spontaneous. You were choking with tears after losing your mother when she found you. This girl saved you so easily, as if it were so easy. Jinx never told you about the past, but when the voices in her head became too loud, you didn't need an explanation. You saw how bad she becomes and what consequences it can bring. Afterwards, you promise yourself to always be there so that you can prevent the irreparable. This was not always successful.

After Silco died, things got really bad. Jinx tried to continue his work, to be strong and collected. But this is Jinx. Your Jinx. And she never was and never will be like this. Maybe that's why she's been so rude to you, taking it out on you because she's under so much stress. Sooner or later it will all end, and she will be able to look at you again without irritation.

You forgive Jinx for everything: the harsh words, the insults, the hits. Because she always apologizes after. And you don't care that it's not sincere at all. You love her; she is the only thing you have.

The day started out quite normally. You and Jinx were sitting in Silko's office, which is still called that way to this day, on the initiative of Jinx herself. It was all quite nice: she decided to share with you many thoughts about the future, which happened quite rarely. But then Sevika came in. And with her came terrible news. Shimmer production had been disrupted again. The enforcers blew up the plant, dealing with the guards there without any particular problems. And she just walked out after saying that. Just one look from Jinx made it clear how bad she was feeling right now,

"It's not your fault, and..." — you're interrupted by a rude "shut up." Jinx, who had been sitting on the table quite relaxed, now clutched her head, her eyes closed, and her breathing quickened. Just a few moments ago she was vulnerable, and now she's rude to you again. "You don't understand me at all," Jinx said in a breaking voice, hiding her face in her knees. It was painful to hear. We have been through a lot together. But she's worse off, and you step over yourself again: "I love you, Jinx. What do you want me to do?". You tell her this so often, so sincerely and naively. Her reaction to your words is always different; you can never guess, and now she again hits you: "I want you to stop being so useless and just help me." Jinx whispered, still struggling with her emotions. She hadn't let herself get angry, panicked, or sad that easily since Silco died. No tears. She kept herself under control. And is that what she thought all along? It's your fault; you're just doing a shitty job. Obviously, sitting here with her is not what she wanted. It looks so painful for you. The girl you love is suffering so much; why don't you just make it easier? That day you stayed, having endured many insults and a couple of blows.

Usually you stayed by Jinx's side, always supporting her and helping her with many tasks. For example, maintaining her authority in the city, keeping an eye out for possible rats nearby, and always saving your love from nervous breakdowns. But now you're by Sevika's side, at a shimmer production plant. You didn't tell Jinx anything; you didn't even think she would ask and worry. You need to act more decisively, as she wanted it. The task was simple: wait until the enforcers come here and destroy them. You were never a good fighter, just a decent shot. Your skills were enough to protect yourself on the streets of Zaun, but they were nothing against well-trained law enforcement officers. That's why you stayed on the sidelines, watching from above and covering Sevika.

You realized how much you screwed up with this shit when you found yourself in the middle of a shootout. Things didn't go according to plan when Sevika was shot, and now you had to save her. Letting the woman lean on you, you ran upstairs. The sounds of gunshots, explosions, and screams confirmed your fears: this plant is finished. Neither the shimmer nor the people were saved. Adrenaline was pumping through you, and you didn't notice anything except the cherished goal.

You reached a safe place and fell. The rest was like a dream. Sevika sat next to you, trying to close the open wound. She tied it with a rag, shouting something about the presence of shimmer nearby. The wound seems to be on your legs, chest, and head. It was painful and cold. Severe weakness. How the hell did enforcers get you? You couldn't think, let alone remember. This woman was shaking you, trying to make you think, but you had already given up. You had lost, and you had screwed up so badly, Jinx would never forgive you. Sevika shouted something, and you didn't really listen; you just couldn't. And then your gaze focused on a blue spot... Jinx? You wanted to look at her one last time. She may be disappointed in you, angry, or simply empty towards you, but all this will not matter as long as she is here. Your eyes closed for just a moment.

" ...orr..."—You can't see, only distantly hear. Such a nice sound; you've heard it before. The noise makes you open your eyes again. A flash of light disorientated you. Straining your eyes, you managed to make out a silhouette in front of you. It was Jinx, and... she was crying. She was in complete disarray, desperately holding your face. She bit her lips every time she wanted to swallow the lump in her throat and continue talking. She was talking to you. What was she saying? Your damn body is so weak. "Hold on, just breathe. Please, I'm really sorry. I love you, I love you, I love you...",-She repeated it over and over while you felt the shimmer being injected into your body. You wanted to calm her down, to say "I love you" back. And all you did was watch silently. Your eyelids were so heavy, and your body suddenly seemed too weightless. You were being yelled at, shaken, and pricked with a shimmer stabbed over and over. And you were too weak to respond to it, closing your eyes one last time.

Jinx sincerely apologizes this time. It's a pity that your mind was too weak to realize this.

it was short, unclear and stupid 🥴 Wrote this in a hurry while I'm taking a break from studying and writing other things.

[moon-ttokki-x]

minty - bf!han jisung x female reader

pairing: han jisung x female reader

summary: when everything bursts into flames, there will always be someone to put it out.

genre: fluff, idol! au, heavy on the angst, panic attack, sensory overload, anger outburst out of frustration, negative thoughts, inferiority complex, feeling left behind. this one is a little sadder, not my usual writing, so read ahead at your own risk.

a/n: kinda having a bad time rn so i wrote this. also my masterlist just deadass stopped working so i have to remake it TT new masterlist will be up soon don't panic guys

You're laying on the floor face-down when Jisung comes home from the company.

He enters your shared bedroom, humming a new unreleased track, and finds you near to the floor-to-ceiling window, curled up in a ball. Your jacket is tossed somewhere behind you and you're not even aware that Jisung is home until he bends down and taps your shoulder.

"Jagi," he says, smiling in greeting.

You don't turn. Your head feels like it's made of lead and you can't seem to find the energy to even twitch a finger. And you feel bad because you know Jisung is tired too, and here you are, ignoring him because you're selfish and lazy and not good enough for anything-

"Y/n," Jisung says again, a little softer.

You do turn your head then. It's not much of a turn, to be honest; more like a slow, sluggish effort to move your head to the right. Your look over your shoulder and he's sitting there, knees to his chest, smiling down at you.

His headphones are slung around his neck as per usual, the headphone cord wrapped loosely around his wrist. His blue hair is flopping attractively into his eyes and the neckline of his band shirt slips a little to the left, revealing a sliver of collarbone.

Some of the skin there is slightly red, and you know it's because he probably worked out his shoulders and torso before coming back home.

You feel even worse at the thought of him working out; why can't you be the same? Why can't you just get up and be productive and multitask and live a good life and be happy like everyone else? Like him? Was that sort of thing not meant for you? Success and friendships and contentment and normalcy?

Because here is Jisung, so many achievements under his belt, so many talents and aspirations and thoughts and dreams, and there you are behind him, struggling to keep up with even the simplest of tasks in your own life.

And it's not just him; lately it feels like everyone else is sprinting ahead, while you're lagging behind, confused. Winded. Out of breath.

Losing energy.

It feels the same even now. Usually making eye contact and being close to Jisung fills you with strength, but today it seems even he can't wash away your thoughts. You wonder how bad it can be if even Jisung, your number one supporter, can't seem to even slightly unclasp the boulder shackles from around your ankles.

And the yet-again nagging thought of always being left behind culminates the peak of your bottled desperation.

And everything is Wrong.

The floor feels rough and uncomfortable all of a sudden, grating against your skin, scratching at the pores, and your clothes are too tight and restricting, digging into the soft curves and peaks of your figure, tightening around you like a python winds about its prey.

Jisung is still sitting there next to you; he must have realised you didn't feel like talking. He's staring out the window, still singing softly to the track, gaze unfocused but content. He understands; he has days like yours too. But right now it feels different, and suddenly you want nothing more than for him to just leave. To just go.

And that thought makes you feel awful.

You feel all hot and irritated like you've been put into an oven on high heat, and you rake a hand through the limp strands of your hair, the tickling flyaways suddenly causing a sudden surge of boiling hot frustration to pour through your veins.

Everything goes up in flames and before you know it, you're shoving Jisung's hand away and storming into the living room, throwing yourself down on the couch and then violently tossing yourself about because even touching the couch feels Wrong too. The leather sticks to your skin and the shuffling sounds are too noisy and sound more like nails being dragged down a chalkboard.

You let out a half-hearted scream and even that feels pathetic. Like you've tried to blow a whistle and all that came out was a sad little wheeze. The noise floats into the air and absorbs into the stillness. You want to scream again but it won't help; no matter how much noise you make, it will never be enough to quiet the wildfires searing across your nerves and seemingly into the core of your brain.

But the flames begin to sizzle, and like all fires do, it begins to die down.

You're left in the smoldering aftermath; the human form of it, anyway, which consists of sobbing like a child face-down in the couch, your body draped uncomfortably across the lounge.

It's almost an hour before Jisung tiptoes into the living room; he peeks over the back of the couch before cautiously moving to sit in front of you, about a metre away. And it's not that he's afraid of your sudden outburst, no, not at all. He knows not to touch you for now, to keep a distance, so as not to trigger you further.

He's silent for a moment; you miserably raise your head, a picture of defeat, eyes puffy and red with tears. You sniff and scrub at your face, wanting to get rid of the Feeling, the one that makes your jaw feel all sour and your head dizzy, the way it always feels after you cry.

Jisung chides you softly, gently reaching out to smooth a singular finger over the irritation you've caused across the delicate skin of your cheekbones. He's testing the water, so when nothing bursts out to bite his hand off, and the temperature seems reasonably cool, he moves just a little closer and gently pats your shoulder.

"What's wrong?" he says softly, almost inaudibly.

"Everything," you sob, the sound causing a terrible racking pain through Jisung's chest. It sounds so hollow, so lonely and desperate.

And yet so filled with hope, but hope that is slowly dying, losing its intensity, like you know in your heart that utilizing it won't really help anything. At least not anymore.

You don't expect Jisung to understand. How could he ever, when the terrible, tumultuous storm of horrible thoughts and feelings in your head is making it hard to understand yourself in the first place?

And you're right. Jisung doesn't understand. He looks bewildered but also empathetic. He looks the way people look when they sort of expect something to happen but it still shocks them when it does.

So he sits, not understanding but also knowing, and strokes your shoulder, keeping the rhythm of it, smooth and constant and flowing, dousing the flames, ever so slowly.

And you can't even try to explain how you feel, or what's wrong, and you can't even find it in yourself to apologise for so violently bursting out at him, but the look in Jisung's eyes tell you that no words are necessary. Not from you anyway.

"I love you," he says quietly after a while, still soft, still a little bit bewildered. But there is no doubt in his words.

And a weak, watery smile manages to tug at the corners of your mouth. At least you think it does; in reality, your face doesn't move an inch, still drawn tensely in rife and despair. But something in your eyes shifts slightly and Jisung knows you well enough to know what that shift means.

The searing flames die down completely, the ash rising and dissipating into a quiet, still, air, and when Jisung draws his hand back, his fingers are stained in still-warm charcoal.

You look at him, still heaving and exhausted; he smiles a tiny bit, like he's not sure whether it might set you off again or make you feel worse. But he does anyway, and the air begins to feel a lot cooler around you as he speaks.

"I brought you something from the company," he whispers, his fingers dancing along the thick seams of the leather couch.

You blink once, slowly, the movement taking a ridiculous amount of energy, which has dwindled to its last stores.

Jisung smiles, almost uncharacteristically shyly, and draws a little rectangular tin out of his dark, worn jeans. He lifts it to your eye level and holds it out on his palm.

On closer inspection, you see it's a little container, the plastic dyed a cool blue-green. There's a small flap on the top for flicking open and dispensing what looks like little sweets.

"Peppermints," Jisung says softly, a little shyly. "They help me when I feel all shaky and irritable. Chan-hyung keeps a pack in his bag for me too, just in case I start feeling anxious at events or concerts... maybe it'll help you too."

You sniff and let him put one of the mints on your palm. You lift it to your mouth and the sensation is immediately refreshing, a growing, almost cool-burn that seems to ease the aching tension that's set itself into your muscles.

It tastes slightly salty from the sweat on your palms, but it disappears as you roll it over your tongue. You exhale a tense breath you didn't know you'd been holding.

You blink again, even slower, hoping that Jisung knows it means thankyou. And he seems to understand, because he tips the container up a little, taking one of the mints himself with a grin.

a/n: hello yes i would like to order one jisung please

[mvltisstuff]

go home - e.b

summary: why does she feel so lonely but constantly surrounded by people?

angst, fluff, tw for suicidal thoughts, depression, not having any idea why you feel such a way

a/n: hi all <3 i wanted to write this as a way to express my feelings recently, and also as a way to let people know they aren’t alone. please, please stay. text 988, please. someone out there loves you. the river may twist and turn, but it will always meet the sea. i’m sorry if this is a bit messy, but it’s something i wanted to express as i can recognize y/n.

——————————————————————————

the second the alarm went off on her phone, y/n felt the equivalent to a million bees stinging her head. every single day was the exact same thing.

hit snooze.

sleep five more minutes.

wait until work ends.

the bed was freezing cold despite the man beside her. obviously, she felt a love for him that goes for light years, but why did it feel like a chore to show it?

buck and y/n had been together for years. they’ve taken their time with one another, slowly and precariously loving on the other. buck needed y/n like he needed oxygen. he knew her. he knew her like the clouds know the blue sky. he knew her like a flame knows gasoline. he knew her like his heart knows to beat.

he rolled over, hearing her alarm and feeling her body adjust to turn it off. he flung his arm around her upper body, pulling her tightly into him.

“i’m so tired.” she whispers, her morning voice peering through.

“i know,” he takes it as a joke, a temporary feeling of wanting to doze off again. “day off tomorrow, though.”

she didn’t think buck knew what she meant by tired.

she meant exhausted. she meant feeling like a car low on gas, but there’s no station around. she meant feeling like a ghoul had grabbed onto her head, squeezing tightly at all moments. she meant the sinking feeling in her chest that wouldn’t vanish.

finally, buck dragged his girl out of the bed and took her to work. he loved working with her, getting to keep an eye on her at all times. he knows that she’s safe when she’s with him.

y/n loved working with buck. she worked with all of her friends, and had the most rewarding career out there, as well as the hardest.

the losses on the job feel like a string being cut off the guitar. the losses feel like someone came in and plucked away more of the good in the world. there’s no avoiding the losses as a firefighter, but y/n doesn’t understand why she feels absolutely nothing.

she feels like a villain, just wanting to go home and forget about the entire day and the people she saved. she feels selfish and entitled, but she doesn’t have the energy to care, nor to fix the way she’s feeling.

therapy never worked for her, and she doesn’t have the schedule right now, anyway. she didn’t need therapy, at least she doesn’t think so?

not until the morning after her thoughts eat away at her about vanishing. y/n doesn’t want to die, she just wants everything to stop.

she feels like love is never coming for her, even though it’s right in front of her face, screaming at her to pay attention to it. she feels a lack of success and uselessness. there’s always someone better.

buck, as well as the rest of the 118 family, started noticing the symptoms. the classic ones, but also the more hidden ones. buck knew her, how could he not notice?

•

y/n came home from work, finally ready for her day off. she was looking forward to it all week, just thinking about the warm clothes she could slap on and the sleep she could fall into.

she was asleep when buck got home. he nudged it off as being tired, seeing how hard she works first hand. the next day, on her day off, she woke up past noon, took a nap, and was back asleep by 10. buck felt like she moved across the country by the time the next weeks followed.

he felt like he was in a war with himself and y/n’s sleep. he was pushing it away but it was still consistent. she didn’t want to go out for date night, or babysit jee. if he stayed at work longer, he’d come home to her asleep in their bed.

even when she was awake, buck had to ask himself,

did he know her?

•

when bobby cooks, you may as well clear your diet for the rest of the day. one plate was not an option, you’d be crawling back to the pot like it contained gold.

however, just one bite of food recently can make y/n feel like she’s gonna throw up. bobby makes her favorite dishes, but y/n had a distance from it.

they sat at the table, a calm break from the storms outside that were just a call away. y/n sat down first. she’d usually wait for buck to get his plate, but he didn’t mind.

“only one plate, y/n? never seen that before,” chim chimed in.

deep down, somewhere in her, y/n wanted to laugh. she had a voice clawing up in her to just crack a smile. alas, her brain suppressed it again.

“what, im not allowed to not stuff myself ‘til i faint?”

silence. forks stopped scratching against the plate. chewing stopped, even the slightest breath noises slowed. they’d never seen her eyes roll so far to the back of her head without a grin creeping after it.

“uh oh,” eddie adds. “someone’s not happy.”

god, she wanted to scream.

•

the profoundness of the loneliness in her body just dragged her down. it felt like a different foot every day that was going to lead to six. she yearned for people, but it was all she has.

she’s felt this way for far too long, and it’s getting old. she hates it. y/n wants the monster inside of her to be murdered. she can’t fill the deep void inside of her, but she wants it so bad. the depression, meanwhile also trying to diminish her, sapped her whole body and mind. it was a poison that y/n doubted would ever escape. the monster in her was here to stay. it grew stronger the more isolated she got, gaining control that would scare her to death. it was impossible to escape his suffocating grip around her and she didn’t have the courage to fight back on it.

y/n didn’t want to die, but she would let the monster take her away.

weeks passed, and nothing had changed. y/n and buck were two souls combined. he could feel everything happening to her like it was happening to him.

it was two a.m and y/n drove through a whole tank of gas. she went over city lines after telling buck she was going to run errands. errands gone a little long lost in thought. she sped down highways, thinking of swerving off. in certain moments, she would let her hands drift off the wheel and let it guide her.

a mix of fear and disbelief rushed through her veins as the black car sped up to her. y/n going fast wasn’t an invite for him to join. it pissed her off, bad. some random asshole just ruining her peace, which seemed like it always happened to her.

it wasn’t until her front bumper came in contact with the dodge’s rear that her mind had to snap back into itself.

buck waited up for her, regardless. he knew she would come home. y/n would never drop a love as special as that, no matter the fog in her head.

he heard the front door twist and unlock, the door creaking open. he stayed on the couch, waiting to see what she would do. he almost just ignored it, knowing she would just go to bed. but, maybe he didn’t know her.

y/n stood in her sweatpants and her 118 zip up, staring at buck with her hair thrown into a ponytail. “hi.”

“hey, beautiful,” buck replies, gently and his words graze her like a feather. but, the look on her face is nearly unfamiliar. it’s a whole new look of awakening. she looks more alive than he’s seen her in weeks. in contrast, the look on buck’s face contains pure alarm.

her chest rises and falls rapidly, like she’s trying to take in every breath she can. shes never felt this close to the end of her life before. a new fear was unlocked, a phobia of herself.

“i think, um,” she stares at the hardwood floor. buck walks up closer to her, his hands connecting with her forearms to steady her. “i think i need some help.”

“i know, baby,” he starts, rubbing her soft sweatshirt with his hands to warm her skin. “and im gonna help you. we’re gonna help you.”

“i don’t want to die anymore.” buck’s heart sinks into his toes hearing her say that. the woman in front of him, the one who his world revolves around, the one who may as well have her name carved into his back, was telling him she almost gave up.

he couldn’t help but well tears in his eyes, but he fought them back. he allowed her body to slump against his, as they stood in the dim walkway of their apartment.

to love someone is to fight their monsters.

[impactedfates]

Love In Different Shapes - Various HSR Boys x GN! Reader

★ Summary: Your lover loves to show that they love you, however some of their methods to do so, aren't something you'd expect - i.e HSR Boys and their love languages (but it's not your typical love language)

☆ Characters Included (Separate): Dan Heng, Jing Yuan, Blade, Welt, Luka, Sampo, Gepard, Loucha + bonus character

★ Genre/Trope: Romantic + Crack (?)

☆ Warnings: None

★ Extra: Just had random thoughts about HSR characters love language and decided to write about what theirs is in my opinion - just not your typical ones. // Not proof read - we die like Himeko // There's a HSR Girl version as well! Right here.

Dan Heng shows his love unintentionally by staring at you. Just full on staring. I mean, I'm sure most of us agree that Dan Heng is a man of few words, but I feel like you could be getting up to get water and you'll come back to Dan Heng staring at you. You might think 'oh, he wants me back in bed'

no.

He's just staring very lovingly at you, as creepy as it is. He wants to make sure he sees you. He can't explain why it gives him comfort to just look at you or why he decides to show that he cares about you this way. But he does! It's his way of saying he cares, and although not many may see it as him showing his love to you. Both you and him know what it means when he decides to look at you for more then 5 minutes without talking.

Somehow, Jing Yuans love language consists of making sure you aren't able to do your work. Somehow his love language is doing everything in his power to get you to pay attention to him.

You know those videos of cats knocking over a cup? That's him, and all he wants is your attention. He loves seeing what ways make you look at him, even for a split second. Would it be a surprise kiss? Softly rubbing your arm up and down? Knocking over an expensive vase??

He wants to find everyway to ensure you look at him with those pretty eyes, and as confusing as this love language may be to others. He truly does just enjoy messing with you.

Biting. I will not elaborate (Well I am but-)

Blade just bites you. Not harshly, just nibbles. You could just be doing some work, and your neck or shoulder are exposed, he'd just come up to you and just.

Nom.

You have so many bite makes because of him, but he doesn't care. He's at work often and as much as I'm sure he loves kissing you. He loves biting you playfully just as much. The amount of bite marks around your body that keeps multiplying is just a show of his love to you.

Welt shows his love by drawing you. He loves sketching you doing whatever and showing you. He enjoys looking at your face and capturing every detail with a stroke of a pencil. He probably has a sketch book dedicated to drawings of you, but most are ripped out as you stick it on your wall.

If you offered to model for Welt he'd be more then happy and ensures to be extra careful - not like he wasn't before but he wants to capture every single detail there is that he sees. And honestly? If you were to draw your own drawing of him then he'd be so happy. It's stuck on his wall, it's his wallpaper and it'll even by his profile picture for awhile.

Luka shows off. He's one of the guys that's like

"This is for you babe!"

But he fails, miserably even. He's usual so good at showing off, but when he tries to show off to you to show you how much he absolutely adores you he fails.

Every.

Single.

T i m e.

It's okay though, you get the gesture. You understand what he's trying to do, even after the countless fails. He wants to be successful even once as he feels if he continues failing you won't love him anymore.

You do though, you understand. And honestly? It's kinda cute how hard he tries trying to score a basket just to show you he loves you.

Reverse scamming (credits to my friend for this idea :D)

Sampo loves scamming others, but you? You're no exception sadly. On the other hand, how he scams you isn't what you'd think. He'd maybe scam you until getting what YOU want. Now what HE wants. Sometimes he may even scam you to get just a simple kiss or a hug.

You try to tell him if he wants a kiss or a hug he can just ask, but he finds it more fun this way. And you may even try to convince him to stop "scamming" you into getting the things you want, but he also refuses.

We all know Gepard is trying to garden and failing (I think) right? So what does everyone think of getting a half wilted flower from this man :D

He tries I swear, he just cannot do it correctly. You may even just get a tomato as an anniversary gift as he just couldn't take care of the flowers he was trying to grow for you. Bro may be more upset with being unable to grow you the best flower then he is about not catching Sampo.

He keeps trying and failing but, he still gives it to you in hopes you'll accept it! You will right? Even if he's given you a potato that's about to go bad?

Loucha can and will pat your head to show how much he loves you. As a merchant and a doctor, he doesn't necessarily have the time to sit down and relax, and even so. He doesn't seem like the type to want to. However he doesn't want his partner to feel neglected either, so to sure that he does love you so you don't forget. He pats your head with a small smile.

It doesn't even matter if your taller then him, he'll find a way to pat your head, whether it be to punch you in the stomach so you can bend over, pull you down by your collar or even just climbing onto his coffin to just pat your head a few times. He will pat that head of yours so you're reminded he still loves you despite his schedule.

Dr Ratio definitely info dumps to show his love. I don't even know much about this man yet but I know for a fact that he'd be casually talking about the history of something or in general just anything he knows whilst you two are eating.

He'd say something that's so jaw-dropping and continue eating and I love him for that. He seems sweet honestly, and if you want to info dump about anything you like? He listens with such intent, asks questions and remembers every word. I love him so much (I know he isn't out yet but-)

Hehehe. I spent a good bit rambling with my friend about certain HSR characters "unusual" love language and decided to write one! It's not proof read as most of the time, my rambles aren't proof read. But as always, if I messed some spelling or grammar up. Inform me and I'll fix it :D

[thesamoanqueen]

Bimini Dream

A/N: When I wrote it the mood was completely different, it was an inspiration born from a friend suggestion, but seemed correct to me wait before posting it. It has nothing to do with what happened and I won't write anything about it for the same reason I haven't published this story until today, Roman is a character/Joe a real human being and there's a big difference for me. Breaks are useful to understand what our priorities are, unfortunately life is not always a dream or a vacation, but we all should appreciate what we have.

Warnings: Smut, Fluff, 18+ Inspired by Naked - Doja Cat

Giving up his spot hadn't been what he imagined, what he had prepared himself for. It had been difficult, exhausting, even more so after the first few weeks. Four years had the ability to make everything a habit and when the time for big projects had arrived, the impulse had still been to be present no matter what had happened. Your relationship had been put to the test. Roman had seen you angry, frustrated, disappointed even, troubles in paradise that Roman didn't want and risked taking away more than a belt from him. You wanted the best for him, the best for the new chapter of his, your, life together and he couldn't get it with old habits, you were right, as always. So he had learned to control from afar, focusing on the next project, without answering every call or request that didn't personally concern the work he had pending. Months had passed, a time in his mind that was confused, short and even endless, but the well-deserved vacation had finally arrived. Not a one-day break between filming, interviews and meetings for new projects, a real vacation with his woman.

A paradise for the two of you. Made of palm trees and crystal water, fresh sheets and feet sinking into the damp sand of a private club in Bimini. Days spent away from chaos getting drunk and kissing, caresses and massages to take away the memory of punches and bruises, your laugh in his ears at all hours. You were happy and carefree like a lil girl again and Roman was unable to take his eyes off you in those moments, sure of wanting this for your entire life together.

His eyes scanned you, as you slipped out of the sundress just beyond the threshold of the private area, your thong bikini to greet him provocatively between soft curves dirty with sand and salt. The sound of a song hummed all the way to the dining room table to grab some fruit and disappear onto the balcony overlooking the beach. Just the time to get a drink for himself and attracted like a sailor by his mermaid, Roman followed you out, sitting on the sofa to enjoy the show you were delighting him with. The wavy movement of your hips is hypnotic, the water sliding between your barely covered breasts is an invitation as dangerous as your fingers, busy washing a day of snorkeling off your skin. The taste of fruit and alcohol on his tongue unable to wash away his thrist and your eyes finally finding him, as bright as the familiar smile forming on your lips.

- "Why are you looking at me like that?" – he hears you ask, continuing to massage your thighs.

- "You' enjoying yourself"

It wasn't a question, but pure pride, the reward for his efforts. He would have given you anything if you had only asked, spoiling to the point of forcing you to say enough, his absolute priority was you, the pulsating engine of his continuous success. He couldn't have looked at you any other way than with adoration, gratitude. Always there for him, always ready to support and push him.

- "I’d have more fun if you came to keep me company" – you mutter, a playful pout and a hand reaching out to call him.

And how could Roman say no to you? He didn't want to, he had never been capable of doing so, and putting down the drink, he freed himself from his tank top to join you under the cool water of the shower, his hands quickly finding your body, those curves where his muscles fit like a puzzle to reveal the rough skin under his fingers.

- "You're still covered in sand" – he notices, cleaning you carefully, while you lean forward, filling the space between you two until your breaths mix.

- "Nope, it's brown sugar scrub, you wanna taste it?"

A whispered offer, almost a secret, even though you already knew his answer. He had always been a hungry man, but you awoke a feverish need in him, the urgency to consume you and be consumed furiously as soon as your eyes met in a complicit silence.

- "Mmh you keep testing me" – he noted, placing an innocent kiss on your nose, already feeling your fingers free him from the bun and copy with a real kiss.

Flavor of mango and dragonfruit surrounds him, an inviting aftertaste when your teeth bite into him slowly, eliciting a dangerous moan from him that makes you smile devilishly, drawing Roman even further under the water. His hands stop you, gripping your round hips, dark locks dripping onto your breasts. The silence of the empty beach not far from you two, now filled by the sound of close breaths, growing tension making Roman’s muscles tense and your core soften.

- "‘cause you’re too good" – fingers caressing his broad chest, running your nails over the shiny tattoo up to his broad shoulders, to lock behind his neck – "now can we get naked?" – you finally ask.

The new offer is not a secret nor whisper, there was nothing playful about it, just pure desire and Roman is a good man, but sure not a saint, so he grabs you by the back of your neck, forcing you to tilt your head, watching in admiration as your breathing stops for a moment already, a silent moan for his sudden commanding behavior leaving your honey lips.

- "Strip for me babygirl, slow, show me first" – he orders against your ear, licking away his own words before taking a step back, just one and enjoying the show.

Your hands leave him sadly, but you obey, moving your wet hair from your shoulder to play with the thin string holding up your colorful bikini top. You pull it down, slowly, stretching the fabric until the bow comes undone and Roman watches it fall at your feet like anyone should have. He follows your fingers caress from your collarbones to your breasts, full and perfect for his hands and passes one over his face, moving away his hair, while yours slide down the belly he loves to kiss down to what he loves to eat. Bimini had its own fountain of eternal youth, Roman's was there between your soft thighs, always ready to welcome him, juicy and tasty like the fruit you wrapped your lips around every day for breakfast. He watches you turn, eye over your shoulder and crouch down to take off your thong, leaving it to keep company to the top. When you get up Roman can't hold back a sound of approval, eyes glued to the two brown hills that you rub on his already hard boner, and then turn around and caress him.

- "Why you keep standing there? Don't you want to slip into something more pleasant?" – your body presses against his, breasts tickling his muscles - "… maybe me?" – you invite him and his mouth finds yours without waiting a second more.

Neither of you tries to go easy, you kiss without haste, but consuming each other, cool water sliding on your heated bodies like Roman's tongue on yours. You suck on his lips as he maneuvers you to have total control and you let him do it, abandoning yourself against the wall to free him from the swimsuit he kept on for your day together. Roman kicks it away without care, growling hoarsely into your mouth as he feel you gripping his dick in your hands, torturing the head with a soft thumb until he break the kiss with a heated moan. He presses his forehead to yours, letting you prepare him, your mouth trailing kisses down his neck and shoulders, biting into sun-tanned skin and licking away water drop by drop.

- "There's no where else I'd rather be" – he squeezes your hip, smashing his other hand against the wall, your nipples rubbing against his chest and you smile.

- "I love how you look at me… makes me feel so special" - you meow against his mouth and it's enough to make him snap.

Oh, special would be an understatement to describe you.

Roman lifts you up effortlessly, his large hands on your round ass, letting your legs wrap around his hips like a belt. He would have gladly worn you for the rest of his days, anywhere, without shame if only it were possible, sinking into your soft folds sweeter than any victory. He watches as you throw your head back, shaken by the pleasure that hits both of you in finding each other and he takes the opportunity to suck your neck, giving a couple of lazy thrusts, to spread you and savor the spasms of your center that gets used to the presence of him. Your arms hold him, lips ready to cover him with soft kisses on his temples and freckles, fingers laced in the dark locks of his hair to pull them, make him growl and guide him to you.

His attentions will leave a mark on you, but neither of you cares. You have nothing to hide, you belong to each other and you both show it with pride. No one will pass by that beach, Roman had paid good money for your paradise and he didn't regret it at all. Everything to make you smile.

- " nhm… you're getting wet as fuck" – he hums, adjusting his posture to increase the pace.

His hips become more commanding as he feels you give in and with his face buried between your breasts, he works you without going all the way, spending his time playing your nipples, devouring and licking the sensitive flesh to reduce you to a gorgeous panting mess. Your nails dig into the back of his neck, onto his shoulders, your head resting on him, almost a hug, bodies impossible to separate and on his tongue that aftertaste of brown sugar.

- "R-Ro… ahn, keep doing that" – you moan, holding him against you.

His name belongs in your throat like a jewel, the kind of gift no one else could give you because only Roman knows what you need to satiate your thirst, what touch makes your body shivers and what is needed for a lovely bow. He grins, he knows not going deep makes you even more needy, he feels your heart hammering like the water falling at his feet, your moods dirtying his hard cock. Then he stops torturing your breasts, letting your body slide a little further down and the moan with which you delight his ears feeling him entirely Roman swallows it as he kisses you. Squeezed between the wall and his massive body, with no chance of escaping him, he moves an arm under your thigh to a new angle that makes you scream with the first thrust.

- "Hm, it's so g-good… God… more- more-" you beg, your gaze liquid, lips swollen.

- "I own this pretty pussy, hmm is mine. I know how to make her sing…" - he growls, pushing himself between your folds until you throb.

A satisfied smile spreads uncontrollably on his face, pride, possession, desire, love, a mixture in his guts that burns where your bodies are united and from which Roman cannot take his eyes off, mesmerized by the sight of your honey spread all over his flesh now that you are stretched to perfection. He watches your walls suck him in, clinging to the veins on his skin, hips moving incessantly, while your pleas become louder in his ears increasingly dizzy with growing pleasure.

- "P-please… Ro… there" – he knows where you want it, he knows what he has to do to see you faint in to his arms.

And he hits that spot, without mercy, giving you what you want, focusing on that weak point able of making you breathless and driving him to madness. The spasms of your body, soaked and panting, are shocks inducting him into a sort of competitive trance, his hands hooked at your side, at that thigh bent almost to his shoulder to have complete access to your core. You tremble, his flesh swelling your center every time he pushes into you, making him growl excitedly, sight matching the furious sensation of the now imminent climax. Your moans become strangled cries and then Roman shifts his gaze to your face, to intercept your almost desperate expression, the one that always anticipates your orgasm. When it finally arrives, he feels your nails digging into the flesh of his forearms and your voice fades into a delicious cry, he kisses you, hammering your sweetest spot without stopping for a second and he watches with pleasure the violent tremors of your body.

- "My precious girl… cum, you're so f-fuckin gorgeous" – he growls obscenely against your lips, seeing you open your eyes again with a lost expression, your hips swinging to meet his thrusts and please him too.

- "G-give it to-to me" – you beg, but it wouldn't even be necessary.

He finally puts you down, still holding you by the hips to avoid your legs playing a nasty trick and he enters you from behind, this time sinking completely, one hand on your ass to spread your soft buttocks. You meow, your sensitive center trembles from his intrusion and Roman throws his head back smugly, licking his lips, feeling the water run over his face and your hot folds around his flesh. He slides deep, his cock covered by your white nectar and energies gathering at the bottom of his abdomen ready at any moment to explode inside you. You are soft, familiar, holding you in his arms is a sensation capable of making him feel at peace with the world. Your hips roll tiredly, giving him everything you have and Roman thrust to take it, pounding deep inside you, the furious ecstasy of heat building every time his balls slap you making your back arch against the wall. He gave you what you wanted, always before himself, but now it's his turn. It's a violent, rough ride during which your sweet whispered words mix with his hoarse moans, legs burn, while he lowers his head and finally abandons himself to the wave that suddenly hits, dragging him inside you. The climax is overwhelming, Roman gasps, everything in him seems to empty inside your core, his hips fit into the beautiful curves of your body, mind blank and body unable of wasting a single drop of himself outside.

One of your hands finds him, resting on his forearm in a silent caress and when the hot wave it's finally over, Roman lowers himself onto you, placing a kiss on your back as you smile tiredly. You’re the one who breaks away from him, because for Roman it's an impossible feat he never tries to accomplish.

- "Such a hard working man" – you joke, wrapping your arms around him again.

Water slides against his back, washing away sweat and moisture from both your bodies, while he cradles you, your face pressed against his chest. Roman places a kiss in your head, a satisfied and soft smile on his face as he feels you hold him, so precious and for a moment the two of you stay there, until he’s again stable enough and he drags you out of the shower. You folllow, already knowing what he has in mind, fingers agreeing to leave him just long enough to wrap both of your bodies in white towels before walking back inside. Another refreshing glass to rehydrate and you and him collapse on the bed, hugging each other between the scented sheets, lulled by the sound of water and your breathing.

Tag squad: @sunnyfleur23 @racerchix21 @alyyaanna @expert-texpert @romanreignsdefencesquad @romanstheory @claymorexpunisher @keybladeofsteel @msbigredmachine @nayys-world @sortudademais @utika151209 @cumxxslutt @civildawn @romanmydaddy @triscillal @papireigns-05 @helensanders92 @darqchilddaydreamz @unfriendly--blvck--hottie @nicolewoo @joannasteez @reignsx @kianaleani @daguenoire @extra-11 @333creolelady @snowpanda18 @brattyfics @mzv11 @romanreignseater @dreamsinfocus @vebner37 @depressedneedingrevenge @cyberdejos2 @mahi-wayy @jxtina-86 @harmshake @southerngirl41 @smile1318 @headoftheetable @wrestlingprincess80 @tribalauthor

[giddyfatherchris]

I'm in love with you!!

pairing. felix x gn!reader

type. best friends to lovers

warnings. none except pure undiluted fluff

a/n. fricking loved writing this, it made me miss summer so muuuch, but i had the greatest time while listening to these songs on replay😋 highly suggest to have them playing in the background while reading! or just give them a listen cuz they’re amazing hehe hope you enjoy!! xx

song recommendations. calm - cody simpson, im in love with you - the 1975, island in the sun - weezer, heavenly state of mind - lewis capaldi, the view - skz

"I like the view right now!" you chanted as the salty wind ruffled your hair and caressed your skin.

Your eight friends started hooting in agreement, all understanding the reference to one of your favorite songs of theirs.

As a celebration of their highly successful last tour, you had all decided to book a trip to a private island off the coast of Australia. It took a boat ride to reach the secluded piece of land filled with villas and populated with a few staff members. It was a paradisiac hideaway for you all, so accustomed to being surrounded all the time.

You turned back with a gigantic smile. Felix, who was standing behind you, mirrored the expression on your face, a certain twinkle illuminating his gaze.

You jumped in his arms, startling him as he caught you rapidly. "And I love going to the beach!"

He spun you around, feet digging in the sand while you both screamed. The rest of the group looked at you with amused expressions. By now, they had become quite accustomed to your antics. You ended your frivolous spinning by plopping down on the sand, slightly out of breath. You stretched your arms as far as you could, relishing in the stunning warmth of the Australian sun, and turned to cuddle against Felix, his nose already nuzzling in your hair. "I'm so happy to be back home, Lix." "So am I," he answered with a soft smile, his eyes half-closed.

After a day well spent outside, swimming and exploring, you had collectively decided to set up a cozy little camp on the beach to enjoy the warm night under a sky full of stars.

"Are you done, you two? We need help setting up!" shouted Changbin.

"I'm coming, you whiny child!"

You faked irritation with rolled eyes, but ever since you walked off the plane, you couldn't stop your lips from tilting upwards. Your soul seemed to be shouting and dancing to the rhythm of your home. Nothing could you get you down from your little cloud of happiness, even a whiny Changbin. You got up to lend him a hand before he started throwing a tantrum, not noticing Felix's hand still subtly reaching for you.

The young Australian looked at the stunning view. You were right. Being home felt amazing. It was wonderful to have some vacations after being on tour, especially here with you.

You had been friends for as long as he could remember.

From meeting in kindergarten to facing high school's adventures to growing into two young adults. You never had any big fights, your friendship having prevailed over any argument and hardship. Even the distance hadn't been enough to pull you apart.

Felix remembers too well the fear he felt before telling you he wanted to become an idol all those years ago. He was so scared you would disapprove and hate him for wanting to go so far away. But your anger only came from the fact that he had never said a thing about it. He remembers fondly how you jumped on him, hugging him tight with tears lining your eyes. From that moment on, you had been his fiercest supporter. You cried buckets when he left for Korea but made him promise to keep in touch every day. So you video chatted whenever he could. You stayed up with him for entire nights, braving the time difference to give him pointers on choreo stuff or to cheer him up when he had a rough day.

Until you no longer had to do any of that.

Looking at you now, getting along so well with his brothers, made his heart tighten with emotion. At 23 years old, he had everything he ever wanted. Well, almost everything

Felix knew since he was 14 years old that he loved you. Part of him had hoped that once he was in Korea, his heart would finally stop beating only for you, but it never happened. He had dated a little, but no one had compared to you. With time, he became accustomed to the idea of never falling in love with anyone else.

It was a thought he accepted without so much difficulty. He couldn't help how his heart started speeding up whenever you were close to him. The reassuring feeling of having you by his side. The way your smile made him see stars. The way you cuddled into his side or held his hand, how your gaze lit up whenever you saw the sea, and how he was the one you reached for when you were sad, angry, or just disgustingly happy. He wanted to experience everything with you, every high and every low. He couldn't and didn't want to imagine himself doing life with anyone else. It would be this or nothing else, and he was comfortable with that.

After all these years, he had never found the courage to tell you. The fear of losing you paralyzed him. But as he looked at the joyful sea, breathed the fresh Australian air, and looked at you laughing and fighting fiercely against an uncooperative beach chair, he thought maybe this vacation was the time. The time to face his fears, as he did almost seven years ago to chase his dream, and see where it would lead him.

"Felix!" called Changbin, interrupting his train of thought. "Come and walk with us! We want to see how far the beach goes in that direction."

He lifted his head with a smile, looking at his friends waiting for him, bare feet in the sand.

"Hurry!" you waved. "We don't want to miss the sunset!"

It had been months since he had seen you so excited, so eager. He knew you loved coming with them on tour. But he also knew Australia would always own your heart.

"Alright, alright. I'm coming!"

He swatted the sand away from his shorts before walking to your little group.

You started walking on the beach, Felix close to you. Seungmin, I.N, Hyunjin, and Changbin ahead, busy taking pictures in front of the rose-colored sunset. Bang Chan and Lee Know were trying to start your little fire while Han prepared the perfect playlist. Suddenly, you recognized the familiar air of their song, 'The View'. You looked back to Han with a huge smile. He simply winked and gave you a thumbs-up before focusing on his phone once more.

The notes of the music danced around you, making the ambiance even more special. There was something in the air, a prickling, exciting feeling.

You swayed gently to the music as Felix snapped a few pictures. The two oldest near the fire, Han next to the speaker, the boys walking ahead, the sunset. He seemed to be on a mission to commit everything to memory.

You felt his focus shift and noticed he subtly tried taking pictures of you. You walked up to him with a soft smile.

"Are you taking pictures of me, sir?" "I might be," he smiled back, his dimples on display. "Well, I'm afraid you need permission for that…" you continued, taking a step closer.

Without giving him a second to interpret your movement, you stole his phone with a squeal of victory.

"Come back here!" He protested, but you ran as fast as you could to Changbin, giving him the phone. As you expected, he sprinted in the opposite direction while laughing like a dolphin.

"You think you're funny or something?" asked a slightly out of breath Felix as he reached you.

"In fact, I do."

You splashed him and ran off while giggling like a maniac. As hoped, your antics started a generalized water war. Felix kept running after you, deciding he needed to get vengeance while the other boys splashed each other. You laughed wildly and ran in the shallow waters, not daring to look back and give him a chance to reach you.

You had water up to your knees by the time you heard him whine, "Wait! Y/n! You're gonna get all wet."

You turned around with a taunting look in your eyes. "Felix Lee, has the idol lifestyle gotten to you?" You gave him a pitying look. "Have you forgotten all about your Australian roots? Are you scared of a little water?"

A little taunting was usually all it took for you to rile up your best friend, and tonight would be no different. His eyes scrunched with determination, "Oh, you just wait till I get my hands on you." He tried threatening you, but you didn't give him a chance as you dove into the clear water.

Without a second thought, he jumped in after you, fully clothed. He barely broke the surface when you jumped on him from behind and tried to push him back underwater. He managed to take ahold of your wrists, careful not to clamp too hard. You took a deep breath, ready to be ducked under, but he softly made you twirl in the water. You gave him a surprised look as he winked and let you go benevolently.

Complete elation seized you as the beautiful young man looked at you with that smile of his, hair slicked back from the water, a light illuminating his soft eyes.

"I love Australia! I love the beach! I love being in the water! I love this night!!!" you screamed as you threw your arms in the air.

The other boys looked in your direction with giant smiles, drenched in water. The ever-present professional idol aura in their demeanor was nowhere in sight. They shone with pure happiness. For once, they could be only themselves, away from cameras and personas. Your heart sang with happiness for them.

"I love being home!" screamed Chan. "I love Australian BBQ!" added Changbin. "I love vacations!" said I.N "I love to splash Grandpa Chan!" joked Seungmin. "I love sunsets!" screamed Hyunjin. "I love water wars!" laughed Han. "I love cats!" finished Lee Know.

All eyes turned to Felix, the only one who hadn't said anything yet. His soft gaze set on you, the intensity taking the breath away from your lungs. He rallied his breath and screamed. "I LOVE YOU!"

The boys all went silent. You stared at him in disbelief.

"I love you. I love you so much. I always have, and I always will. Since we were kids, no one has ever meant the same to me. I love being here with you. I love being anywhere around the world with you. I love seeing you smile. I love the way you're so passionate. I- I don't want anyone else." It occurred to Felix that this was maybe not the right way to do this, as he noticed the silence surrounding him, but he kept going. "I know this is probably so out of pocket for you. You probably don't believe this is real, but I assure you it is. Since I was 14, I've been thinking of the right way to say this to you. I never thought it would happen like this but it feels right. So right, to finally tell you while you're at the place you love most and where I can see you shine brighter than ever."

You stared at him before a smile tugged at your lips, and you suddenly screamed. "I LOVE YOU!" He stood there with his arms limp at his side. Your words shocked him, and his mouth opened before he asked, "You love me?"

The light of disbelief shining in his eyes made your heart tighten. "Of course, I love you Lix. Honestly, I'm not sure how you didn't notice it," you added with a sheepish smile.

He took a step towards you, "You love me?" "Yes." Another. "You're sure?" you nodded with a bright smile. He was right in front of you, his arms a millimeter from wrapping around your body. "You love, love me?"

"OF COURSE I LOVE LOVE YOU. ALWAYS HAVE AND ALWAYS WILL." You leaped in his arms, water splashing around.

"SHE LOVES HIM!" Screamed the seven other boys in unison.

You smiled as you put your lips on his, barely registering the ruckus of your friends running for the two of you, throwing water around to celebrate the long-awaited moment you two idiots would realize you had been pinning for each other for years.