#until i'm just a little too weird. until i'm just a little too offputting. until i feel just a little too hard.

[truthsinwhispers]

.

[patricia-taxxon]

Attempting to extend sympathy to my younger self via self insert fiction.

"Hello there!"

I looked up from the lunchbox on my lap towards the source of the sudden loud voice, standing four or so feet away from me was a… dog? He stood on two legs, an eager look on his face. I looked around, none of the other kids were nearby.

"Hello?" I said back, a little confused.

"My name is Paul! What is your name?" The dog replied, both in an oddly formal tone of voice and… loudly, even though he was close enough to grab.

"My name's Bradley." I said, and went back to my PB&J.

"How old are you, Bradley?" asked Paul, in that same babyish but too-formal tone, almost like a robot.

"I'm eleven." I replied, without looking up.

"I'm ten!" He said back. "Nice to meet you!"

Several seconds passed, and he didn't move or look away. I realized he was waiting for me to say something.

"Nice to meet you too, Paul." His tail twitched as I said that, but he quickly moved his paw behind him to hold it in place until it settled. "Sorry," He said, before asking another question. "What do you like to do?"

His awkward storybook-speaking was offputting to me, but no one ever talked to me at recess, especially not completely out of nowhere like this. I answered his question, "I like playing Smash Bros," but I don't know why I thought of that first. I didn't really feel like finishing my lunch, I started to pack it away for later.

"What's that?" He said back. Was that a joke? He looked curious.

"Uh… it's a game, you can play as different Nintendo characters and fight each other." I waited for him to respond, but he was still listening. "You can uh… you can be Sonic."

"That's really cool!" He said. "Can I sit next to you?"

"Hm? Oh, okay, I guess." I replied. The dog's tail instantly sprung to life, and he once again moved his paw to stop it. "Sorry," he said, and moved swiftly to sit on the bench next to me, a bit closer than I thought he would. He looked up towards me like he wanted me to keep talking, or… it looked like he was looking at the top of my head, I wasn't sure.

Instead of explaining Smash Bros anymore, I asked a question myself to take the pressure off. "What do you like to play?" Paul blinked and his ears perked up. "I like Marble Blast Gold!" He almost yelped out, before drawing back. "But… shhh, don't tell anyone. I'm not supposed to talk about it."

That didn't make any sense. "Huh? What does that mean?" I asked.

"It's the best game ever, you like… you roll, and you have to… like, you have to get to the end. Uh." He stammered. "But I'm not… I'm not allowed to play it anymore, my teachers said I'm too obsessed."

"That's bullshit." I spat.

"Yeah!!" He yelled, leaping up onto his haunches, tail wagging up a storm, until he noticed again, and pressed his paw to stop it. "Sorry." he said.

"Why are you doing that?" I asked.

"Doing what?"

"Stopping your tail." I pointed to his butt. "Aren't you like… a dog, or something?"

Paul cocked his head like I asked him a really stupid question. "Yeah? Why." He said, carefully.

We stared at each other for another couple of seconds. I didn't know how to word my questions without sounding awkward. "I've met a lot of… dogs, and wagging tails is pretty normal." I felt insane saying it out loud.

"Well I'm special!" Paul beamed. "I can talk, I can stand on two legs!" He got up and stood upon the bench, barely reaching eye level with me. "I'm in a class for special dogs only." He bumped a fist on his chest.

"Oh… okay." I said, not really understanding. I guess the rules were different for dogs that talk. It felt weird watching him do that though, and saying sorry for it too. "Are special dogs… not supposed to wag?" I asked.

"Yeah. No wagging." He replied. "'Cus humans don't wag."

"But humans don't have tails in the first place." I looked behind myself to check. "So you don't actually know if humans would wag or not, right?" I was getting seriously weirded out by this conversation, but I just kinda kept going. "How'd you learn to talk, anyways?" I asked, Paul looked like he was processing what I said very slowly.

"Like I said, I'm special." Paul repeated. "I'm learning how to make it disappear, like everyone else. First I gotta learn how to keep it still, though, so the magic works."

"Magic?" I said back to him. I mean, it wasn't all that weird compared to meeting a talking dog, but the word still threw me off.

"Yeah, lookit!" The dog hopped off the bench, hunched over with his back facing me, and started screaming like he was about to go super saiyan. I didn't know what I was supposed to be looking at, I was too startled. I might have been imagining things, but I think I saw his tail slowly retracting into his body like a lazy snake.

"Paul! What the fuck are you doing??" I shouted, but instead of responding, Paul just… went silent and flopped onto his side. I quickly rushed over, yelling "Are you okay? What just happened?" I looked over his body, flat on the asphalt. His tail had grown all the way back and… his body shrunk. His head was halfway tucked into his shirt like a turtle. His paws barely poked out of his sleeves, pointing directly forward from his body. He didn't look like a kid anymore, he looked like a dog that someone stuffed into some kid's clothes.

After a second, I thought it wouldn't hurt to poke him. "Paul? Recess is almost over." I poked at his chest, and he rolled onto his back limply. I suddenly felt silly trying to talk to him, like I was trying to reason with a pet. I tried a different approach, I clapped my hands and rapped on my knees. "Hey! Up! Food!"

Paul's eyes shot open, and he sneezed, before wiggling his legs to right himself. He took an instant and a half to realize where he was, and he suddenly cowered, looking straight at me, shivering. "Hey, what's wrong?" I whispered. He looked side to side, back at his own doggish body, and back to me. He blinked, looking like he was about to run away.

"No, no, it's okay." I tried to be reassuring, I'd never had a dog before so I didn't really know what I was doing. I almost forgot that I'd just been talking about Smash Bros with him. "Uh… do you like granola bars?" His ears perked up, and his tail swayed, his new… anatomy making it hard to reach back and stop it this time. I grabbed my backpack from behind me and rummaged through it for leftovers, I got the other of the two bars inside the wrapper, the one I didn't eat, and held it out in front of me. Paul approached me slowly, his nose twitching. "Can you… eat this, even?" I asked, as he sniffed the crumbly rectangle. He licked it soon after, and started nibbling and snarfing after that. I watched carefully, scared to make any sudden moves.

Paul looked up at me again, and I noticed his eyes were a little different. More definition, like I could tell a little more what he was feeling. His new eyes looked concerned, like he was waiting for me to do something bad. He reached up with a paw, it was looking a bit more like a hand now. I let go, and he held the bar himself as he munched away, sitting plainly on his knees.

"What was that all about?" I asked.

"Maghic." The dog said through a full mouth.

"That was magic?" I replied. "I saw your tail shrink, I'm pretty sure."

Paul swallowed. "How much?"

I thought back, the image was still clear in my head. "Like… barely at all. A couple inches?"

"Aw…" He looked disappointed in himself.

We sat in silence for a bit, but there was a question I wanted to ask. "Why do you want to get rid of your tail? Like… that looked painful."

"Mrs. Millie said I can go to the regular class if I can turn human," the talking dog said, proudly.

"You're pretty bad at that." I chuckled, reaching out to ruffle his ears without thinking. Paul looked like he was about to take it personally, but suddenly lost his train of thought as my hand touched his head. "Bwuhhf…" He woofed under his breath, his tail twitched and his paws lost their thumbs again. I quickly pulled my hand back, "Sorry! I didn't…" Paul's eyes took a second to form together again, and he looked right at me, "That wasn't fair." he whined, but his tail was still wagging.

"You really are a dog!" I said, glancing sneakily behind him. Paul followed my gaze to his own tail, yelped, and quickly pressed it down with both paws.

"Oh, come on, stop it." I joked. "It's psyching me out, it looks like it hurts when you hold your tail in place like that."

Paul turned his head back at me. "It doesn't… hurt," he said, slowly and surely.

"Hm. Whatever you say." I got up and went back on the bench. After I turned around to sit down, Paul was already running towards me. I didn't have any time to think before he bounded into my lap and butted his head into my chest while his tail went crazy. The impact knocked the wind out of me, but he was pretty small, I got it back in just a second. Paul yipped and barked, maybe there were some normal words in there too, but I couldn't understand it. This is where I realized he wasn't a very special dog after all, I think he was just normal.

I scratched behind his head and stroked his back through those baggy clothes, and this time he didn't mind. He might have been crying, it was hard to tell, I didn't really know what dog crying looked like. Eventually, he settled down. I couldn't feel his shoulders anymore, he seemed in danger of falling out of his shorts if he wasn't careful. I had a dog in my lap, an extremely normal dog. He stretched his body up and rested his head on my shoulder. "I like you, Bradley." He said, a little too slowly, and a little too loudly. I didn't know what to say to that, he barely knew me. This was all very weird. "You're a good dog." I said back, just because it felt right.

I could feel Paul's body shaping up into a more human posture again as he regained composure. He let go, turned to the side, and sat down on the bench next to me again, staring at his paws in his lap. I leaned over, "You okay?" I asked. He didn't answer, he just put his paw on my wrist and started twirling the hair under my sleeve.

I quickly jerked my hand away and covered the hairy skin. "Don't look at that!" I snapped.

"You have fur too!" Paul yelled.

"No, no, that's hair. I'm just…" I didn't want to explain, it was too embarrassing. I looked like I had my dad's arms, I hoped that no one would see. "It's a condition."

"Oh. Okay." Paul stared into the distance again. We sat in silence for another couple awkward seconds before the bell rang.

"Bye, Bradley." the dog said, scampering off.

"Bye, Paul." I waved after him, being sure to hold my sleeve up with my other hand.

[bluejaysandblackbats]

Ocean View

Fandom: Superfam, Batfam, DC Comics

Summary: A pair of shoes, a fragmented memory, and a collection of newspaper clippings.

An empty box of cigarettes, a second phone, and a beach house with locked rooms.

Chapters: 3/?

Characters: Laney Kent, Jason Todd, Clark Kent, Lois Lane, Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Chris Kent, Tim Drake

Relationship(s): JayLaney, Clois

Additional Tags: No Powers AU, No Capes AU, Secret Identity, Social Media, Romance, Angst

Chapter Three: Beached

It rained that morning. I drove out to the beach house in swim trunks and rainboots. It was beautiful. I got out of the car and knocked on the door. "Hold on, I'll be right there," Jason panted through the intercom. I waited a little while longer, and he pulled the door open so fast that I let out a noise. "Sorry, I was getting the—. You look cute," he smiled.

I followed him into the house and took off my boots, and he offered me a pair of slippers to walk around in on the tile. I shuffled around in them as he led me to the kitchen. Jason made breakfast. I smiled at him, and we made our plates. "Did you get any sleep?" I asked. Jason shook his head gently. I noticed a piece of yarn hanging out of his pocket, and I pulled at it. "What's this?"

"Oh, I'm crocheting," Jason explained. I liked looking at him. The longer I looked at him, the prettier he looked to me. I caught a glimpse of light brown freckles just underneath his eyes. He chuckled nervously, and I looked back down at my plate. "What were you staring at?"

"You're good-looking," I whispered. Jason frowned and looked past me. "Did I say something wrong?"

"I—. No, you didn't say anything wrong. I just—. Can I show you something?" Jason asked. I finished my plate and washed my dish. He playfully nudged me out of his way and washed the dishes. "You gonna let me show you something?" His voice was soft and sweet, and I wanted to kiss him more than I wanted to breathe. I nodded. I wished he would look at me.

After he dried his hands, he took me upstairs and showed me the bedroom. "This is your room if you want to stay the night," Jason whispered. I blinked at him. "This doesn't have to be weird. I know it's still in the city, but—."

"I can stay... Jason, how many rooms does this place have?" I asked.

Jason counted on his fingers. "The attic, the basement, four bedrooms, the downstairs office... Seven technically," Jason answered. Once the sun came out and the rain let up, we went on a walk on the beach. He wore a wig and a hat out. He laced his fingers with mine, and I looked up into the sky. "Do you get to come down to the beach a lot?"

"Mostly for work stuff, but no. Even if I did, I don't think it'd ever get old," I whispered. I loved the gentle mist of the ocean blowing in the wind. I liked the chill. I loved feeling like I was steps away from being swallowed up by the ocean and spit up into the sky. "Can we go swimming?"

Jason nodded, and I took him to the ocean. The waves nipped at our ankles, and I stopped. He gave my hand a little squeeze. "Second thoughts? Too cold?" Jason asked. I took him the rest of the way into the water, and the moment I felt the cold saltwater in my hair, I turned to look at him. He squeezed my hand so tight I thought he'd cut off my circulation.

"You okay?" I whispered. I stopped floating on my back so that I could look at him. "You can swim, right?"

He nodded. "I don't think I've ever been in the ocean before. It's a little offputting," Jason confessed. I noticed that his wig stayed in place, and I laughed. "What?"

"Your W-I-G stayed on," I chuckled. He laughed with me, and his nose wrinkled up and his eyes shut. A small wave hit us, and then there was silence. Jason let go of my hand and floated on his back before grabbing my arm. I relaxed again, and I turned to him. "I've got you, you know?"

Jason loosened his grip, and we floated in the water until it was too cold to keep swimming. We bought two towels and laid them in the sand. I lay on my side, staring at him as I propped myself up with one elbow. He sat with his legs flat and his hands planted behind him. "My mom would've liked this city," Jason mumbled. I felt a sick feeling in my stomach when he said that. I didn't know what I would do without my mom. "You know, I met my birth mom a few years ago... She um... She outed me to a magazine for money. I was only fifteen."

"I remember that... I'm sorry," I whispered. He shrugged. "No, I mean it. I am sorry."

"I shouldn't have brought it up. I kind of feel stupid now for killing such a good—."

"I've never been on a real date before," I confessed. After I said it, I looked straight ahead, so I couldn't see Jason looking at me. "So, I don't mind if you talk about your moms... I just want you to know I'm having a good time with you."

"You have no idea how much that means to me," Jason whispered. I reached over and touched pinkies with him. "Do you think I'm weird?"

I laughed. "Kinda yeah, but I like weird on you... And thanks for taking me to the beach. I haven't felt this good in a long time," I whispered. I meant it. Jason closed his eyes, taking a deep breath as he lay back. I got up and moved my towel closer to his, and I lay my head on his chest. He didn't flinch. Jason just laid still. I could hear his heart beating in his chest, and he draped his arm over me. The gentle rise and fall of his chest felt like waves.

I must've fallen asleep because I woke up on his couch, wrapped in a blanket while a movie played on a low volume in front of me. I sat up and looked around, and he was nowhere in sight, but I could hear ticking and buzzing coming from one of the rooms. I got up and wandered around the first floor until I found the source of the noise, and I knocked. "Jason?" I asked. The buzzing and ticking slowed to a stop, and I could hear him cursing. "You okay?"

"Yeah, hold on. Sorry," Jason apologized. After a few moments of listening to him shuffle around, I started to worry, but he answered the door. "I—. You were asleep."

"Whatever you're doing is none of my business. Unless it's illegal, then, in that case, I'd like you to tell me to leave," I whispered. Jason chewed his lip and turned away so I couldn't see him laugh at me.

"It's not illegal. It's just a secret... Which makes it seem illegal, but I promise it's not," Jason reassured me. "I think sometimes my dad thinks I'm doing something illegal here. He can think it if he wants to. I do a lot of crafting, but if I showed you what I was working on, you'd know why it was a secret."

I nodded, and he locked the door on his way out. "You carried me in?" I questioned. Jason nodded as he led me back to the kitchen. He made me a sandwich and looked over at me.

"Tell me about yourself," Jason whispered.

"Lane's my middle name... I'm a Pisces—."

"Oh, he's a Pisces," Jason teased. I chuckled. "Sorry, I'm just messing with you. I'm listening."

"I'm a risk-taker... Which also means I've been in the hospital a lot. I have three tattoos that my parents don't know about, I can only cook three things, and I've dreamt about you a lot—."

"You dream about me?" Jason interrupted. He wasn't smiling, but he didn't seem freaked out either. "You don't have to elaborate if you don't want to."

I didn't know what to say, so I changed the subject. "Do you wanna see my tattoos?" I asked. He nodded. I stood up and pulled my trunks down to my hip bone to reveal two fish circling a fire. It was a small tattoo, but I liked that one best. I knew he wasn't really thinking because he ran his fingers over it. He stopped himself once he realized what he'd done. I chewed my lip. Then I rolled up the leg of my shorts to show him a fern leaf tattoo. Finally, I moved my hair and showed him the little phoenix on the back of my neck.

"Why the phoenix?" Jason asked.

"My brother drew it. It's Chris's," I answered.

[thegeminisage]

okay WHEW it's star trek update time. last night* we watched tng's "interface" and ds9's "the siege." *i'm typing this at fuck o clock and scheduling it to go up tomorrow when i'm not here <3

interface (tng):

i don't want to talk about it

actually wait no yes i do but mostly i just want to complain. i wish there was perhaps some sort of skip/watch list with the dead parent episodes labeled. for star trek. i mean i know i'm making one but not that one i can't use that until it's too late. i can't crowdsource EVERY dead parent episode of star trek through my tumblr followers. though i will say whoever warned me about 4.02 of ds9 (i forgot which person it was, i'm so sorry 🙏) has my deepest gratitude. ok. complaint lodged.

what else...um, geordi and data. emptiness. Yeah

yeah. that's all. sorry. my spidey senses started tingling about halfway through the episode and i googled whether or not his mom really was dead and upon receiving my answer we stopped the episode to go directly to ds9.

the siege (ds9)

LOVED this one. where do i even begin

well i will begin at the obvious: women! kira and dax in the shuttle. mwah

what i loved most about kira and dax in the shuttle wasn't even the homoeroticism, though i did - of course - deeply enjoy the homoeroticism. what i loved MOST was that they seemed to have invented a personality for dax at last! i have no idea what was going on in this episode or who this dax was or where she was during s1 but i REALLY liked her. it's shocking bc i almost gave her LAST PLACE in the character rankings, but she was so fun here?? and also kind of like...airheaded and weird. "i might keep the nose." seems like they really DIDN'T know what to do with her in s1, but better late than never. i will continue to try and forgive her really terrible hair even though it makes her head look soooo weird and offputting

big spider bad. actually it was too stupid looking to be scary but i still didn't like it

quark and odo's gay little goodbye <3

julian FUCKING bashir pretending he was hot shit when he held those guys up. KING.

actually all of the action sequences in this episode were great. all three of season 2's episodes have been really funny even as they're also very serious at the same time, i fucking love it

love also the little nod to o'brien's service record on the cardassian front in the way of wartime rations. not only is it funny but it is, again, a great reminder of his cardassian trauma, and why he might feel obligated to stay behind

SPEAKING OF. everyone in ops, down to the last person, agreeing to stay at ds9, even though some of them have families like o'brien does. i'm SO glad they didn't forget his family, that they actually showed him and keiko arguing about it, but he STILL felt morally that he had to stay - that it was more important than his own life, and the risk of his family having to continue on without him.

PLUS the fact that not a single person wanted to leave, even after sisko assured them that they SHOULD think of their families...girl he is literally the best captain or commander or whatever. that's stone cold loyalty. they all trust him or love him or both.

i was a little ambivalent on li nalas as a concept but he actually was used finally...i think "off the hook" was a great way to take care of that arc neatly, because making him live the lie would have felt cruel, but him just ghosting would have made him look like an asshole, no matter how justified. i hope there's a bajoran afterlife he can chill out in

did we get set up for season-long villains with winn and jaro? that would be fun. the concept of "storylines" feels so foreign in a star trek show but there it is........

TONIGHT: tng's "gambit part i" and ds9's "invasive procedures," which with any luck will hopefully be about subjects besides dead parents 🤞

[unchartedthelostlegacy]

Chlodineweek 2023 Day 3: Danger/Disaster

The only good thing about nightmares was that they happened in the confines of your skull. Even if you dreamt you were in a tsunami, swimming for your life against its pull, watching a black wave gain on you, being chased by the abyss, nobody would find out.

Gunshots ringing out like strange bells. Being flanked by unnamed faces in helmets. A firearm that vanished in her hands like smoke just when she needed it most.

The scenes weren't from any particular memory. That would have made more sense. Avalanches and floods featured as often as being thrown out of the safety of a vehicle by a land mine. Sometimes she had the feeling of being too high up somewhere, and about to fall from someplace narrow she never should have ascended to. And the complete certainty that where she would land would be nothing but razor wire.

Nadine shuddered with her whole body and snapped awake. It should be illegal for that falling sensation to feel so real in dreams.

Her chest was rising and falling rapidly. She scooted down the mattress and sat on the side. Put her face in her hands. Felt the sweat.

Maybe she could throw on a jacket and get in the car and drive around until her heart rate went down. Observing Johannesburg at night and reminding herself nightmares were made up and also stupid.

The noise she thought was a loud motorcycle outside was actually the thumping of her phone on her desk. She'd put it on vibrate. Should have turned the thing off. Nadine picked it up, blinking, glad she'd had the forethought to turn the brightness down.

Late there now huh?

Of course it was Chloe. Nadine scrolled up and realized it was preceded by a photo of a goat. The animal was all ears and beard, its eyes offputting in that minus-sign way, but Nadine knew Chloe found it cute. The woman liked odd things.

Nadine could have texted 'i see the family resemblance' or 'stop bothering livestock they can't sign a model release'.

Instead, it was I'm awake now. had a bad dream.

Why did she type that? Why did she hit send? Nadine bit her lip and rubbed her eyes with one hand.

She had just put the phone down when it buzzed.

What about?

No, Nadine shouldn't start this. Talking to Chloe as the girl traveled around to whatever weird places she liked, and sent whatever photos she chose for Nadine to admire? All right, yeah, it was fun. But Nadine only spoke to her mother about her dreams.

She had only ever told her mother.

A big wave and an avalanche and a lot of bombs. It was stupid. I'm so sweaty now. Almost every night this week. It's so stupid.

Why were her fingers tapping this out on the screen in front of her? Was her mind addled by sleep deprivation?

And you didn't tell me?

Nadine bit her lip. She typed 'it's no big deal. Good night. Or day or whatever' and rolled over.

The buzzing was long-form now. It was like a little drill going at the wooden bedside table, and Nadine rolled right back over and picked the phone up.

"Frazer, forget it."

There were field and farm background noises audible through the receiver. Nadine thought she heard the wind in the trees, the bell of an animal or two eating in the pasture.

"You've been having them for...what, four days now?" Chloe said softly. "You really only told me now?"

"It's childish things."

Why did Nadine's voice break when she said it?

"You think you're the only one, Nadine?"

"What?" Nadine forced her eyes to stay open.

"I get them and I'm not even a combat veteran, mate," Chloe murmured, "Always about my father dying. Or my mum unconscious on the floor ODing. I guess 'childish things' includes the fucked up shit from when I was a kid?"

Now Nadine's heart felt impossibly tight in her chest. "You didn't tell me about that either."

"Are you watching the news before bed, china?"

Nadine scoffed. "No. Are you eating dry pasta before you go to bed?"

An Aussie chuckle. "Every night."

Nadine wanted to bite something back, but she couldn't. She swallowed. "Yours are worse."

"Like hell they are," Chloe said. "We aren't doing that. That's not why I mentioned--"

"I didn't think you did, it's just--"

"It's just that you worry twenty-four hours a day instead of only all of your waking hours? Can't just have a nice dream about monkeys and candyfloss one night?"

"Ja," Nadine wouldn't choose that combination. That amount of sugar might kill the primates in real life. "I guess we can't choose."

"I can't believe you weren't going to tell me."

"Shut up."

"No," Chloe snapped. "It's that you thought having a bad dream was embarrassing. Is it a growing up in the military thing?"

"Good night," Nadine said. "Stop trespassing on farmland before you get shot."

"Excuse me, I have right of way in this field and the goats love me."

"They need to lose the beard."

Why did that make Chloe laugh. Why did her laughter nearly make her choke. Nadine actually got worried about her after the coughing fit.

"I'm--hack--fine. Just...just don't spring one like that on me, china. Came out of nowhere."

"Ja, just like the animals will. You'll be taking a photo of a dilapidated barn and get impaled on those horns."

Chloe said. "That's my Nadine. Worst case scenario girl if I ever met one."

[marmorafarms]

So I want to talk about how careful you have to be not to become a bully, and how easy it is to become one. How even if you've experienced it before, you can slip into it. This is going to be long, so I'll put it under a cut.

At my work, I have a coworker who is, quite bluntly, a little off putting. She is very anxious, is always apologizing, and always has an energy of being "freaked out" at all times. Her vibe is not calming. However, she's very sweet and kind, and she really wants to do a good job at work. I've never had an issue with her, but I have felt a little offput by her. I try and be nice, and I think we're friends.

Well recently, she made a mistake at work, one that she was reprimanded for. Basically she stopped to fix a sliding door that was shut, and her client walked away. We had had an issue with a different person who lost a client, but this coworker sprung into action. It took her a hot minute, but she found the client playing with toys a few feet away, just barely out of sight. However, she had made her nervousness very public, saying her worries and fears out loud, and people heard.

And then suddenly, it happened. All of my coworkers started shit talking her behind her back, talking about how incompetent she is, spreading unrelated rumors that might be false about her vaping inside the building, (we had a different coworker smoke weed in the building, and this coworker vapes too) and taking what happened and blowing it out of proportion. How do I know that it was blown out of proportion? Because I went to my boss.

I was being pulled into the drama, shocked by what I was hearing, and saying that her behavior, based on what I was told, was awful. I even said she was hard to be around, and people took that and started ranting about how much they hated being around her. One person said they hated how she typed, and that the way she typed stressed them out. And I said NOTHING. I didn't tell anyone to stop, I just fueled the fire.

One of my coworkers told me a behavior she claimed she saw (but didn't report) regarding the coworker vaping weed around clients, and I went to my boss. That was super concerning to me, since said client was a child. Call me a narc if you want, but I couldn't be having someone take a kid for their bathroom break and then start vaping with the door closed. I had to report abuse once before, and this is something that would count. So I did it. And that's when my boss sat me down and we had a talk.

Nobody had ever said anything about my coworker to my boss UNTIL THE MISTAKE HAPPENED. Suddenly, everyone had some complaint about her. About her attitude, about how she was with her clients, about her vaping. Everyone went to my boss, sometimes with the pettiest shit, and just laid it all out. My boss started to not even be able to take it seriously because it was getting to the point where my coworker was reporting she felt like she was in a hostile environment. People were giving her the cold shoulder, refusing to look at or talk to her, stopping talking when she entered the room, all of that shit. And now she was taking a break from work to calm down.

My blood ran cold when I heard that. I realized I was apart of the problem. I was engaging with people when they said shit, and didn't question their claims. I didn't stick up for her, I just allowed them to say stuff and even said myself that she annoyed me sometimes. But here's the thing--I was bullied very very badly in school. And I was suddenly seeing that I was becoming that which I hated.

I had a long think about everything, and I went to my boss and told her that what was happening wasn't okay. We work with people with mental illnesses, many of whom are ostracized in their lives for being weird or off putting. How can we say we want to make that stop and then do it ourselves to people around us? So my boss and her second in command (I'm forgetting the official title oop) decided to sit with me and come up with an anti-bullying thing for our upcoming meeting, but we're working on how to make it sound like a typical meeting thing, and not something specifically about my coworker.

Anyone can slip into bullying and being an asshole. So when you hear rumors, or want to start talking shit, think deeply about why you're doing it. Don't take everything at face value. Stop and think about it, and form your own opinion instead of just nodding along. Stand up for people. If someone says something like "oh xyz" happened say "you should report that" and then stop engaging in the conversation.

I hate that I became a bully, but I'm gonna cut that shit out right now. I messaged my coworker asking how she's doing and saying everything will be okay. She said my message made her smile for the first time in days. Be someone's light. Be someone's hope. If you didn't see what went down with your own eyes, then you're just making assumptions and maybe think you're connecting dots when you really didn't connect shit.

Be nice, and don't feed into gossip and rumors.

[ro275805]

(Holly crap i still can't believe my favorite tumblr replied to my answer)

I kinda have a lot of headcanons for joker.

Another one i have is that joker has cousins, it felt weird that we never seen any family member besides his parents, so that's where i got it from. They're like besties so when joker was declared missing as a kid of course it's heat shattering to his entire family. Until they're like older (maybe around his age but one of them is adult and have a family?) They started to speculate that joker is jack, their cousin.

Also, i realized i once headcanon that his grandpa has a rough relationship to all his family, especially joker's. Cus he doesn't approve his dad's marriage with his mom.

I still want them to reunite, so maybe captain blue (if you remember that guy) started a conversation with joker and akai (don't ask why i put him there, i don't know either) about his grandpa and stuff

Blue: that's basically about him, how about you? Is he still around?

Joker: i don't know, i didn't get to meet him for years, not even the rest of my... Family.

Blue: ... Meet them now.

So that's basically why he decides to reunite with them... Well not really but uhm.

Hello! If you mean my blog, I'm incredibly flattered, wow... thank you! It's just me posting some drawings and simple thoughts from time to time. I wasn't sure if anyone would really appreciate my KJ scenarios, but I'm very thankful that at least a few people do. My ideas are not for everyone as the things I explore tend to veer more towards dark and offputting premises and exploration of morally grey character psychology (I especially love to explore this in 'good' characters). Still, I have many more things to share, and I hope you might enjoy those scenarios eventually, too. ^^ (My creation process is just extremely slow unfortunately) As for your idea... I've explored Joker potentially having more family, too! This is one of those anime protagonist things that I've otherwise shrugged off, you know how families outside of mother and father don't usually get talked about... one time I explored the idea that Joker had actually been adopted at a very young age, or that there was some kind of secret in the family that Jack would really never know about, maybe in relation to the time-telling goddess, where their family was very secretive and disconnected.

I really, really like the idea that Lupin is Joker's ancestor too, so their entire family is just full of all sorts of secrets. If you're curious about this, I've gone more in-depth here.

I wonder what Joker thinks about all of these secrets and odd little things that he only identifies in retrospect once he gets older? Time naturally fades his memory, but certain things that went right over his head suddenly don't seem as simple as they once were... Did Joker actually ever know his family? If his mom and dad hadn't been taken from him at such a young age, would they have told him more about themselves later on?

I think once he reaches an age where he begins to have these realizations, he would go through a more subtle second wave of grief.

---

But if Joker found out that he had living family, especially if he finds this out when he's older and already a well established phantom thief... What does he think about in such a circumstance? I think his initial reaction is disbelief, because of how many people there are who would want to deceive him. But beyond this, I feel like his reaction wouldn't be as simple as just him being overjoyed once he's convinced it isn't trickery.

Of course Joker is happy.

...But another part of him, the part who thought that he had 'moved on' from that chapter of his past, is terribly conflicted. He went through the steps already. He grieved and moved on and came out stronger.

But now he has family again?

With family comes emotional obligation and also the stress of protecting that family, of the potential grief of losing that family... of connecting with that family being dangerous with his way of life, where hundreds of people would be incredibly happy to hear that 'Phantom Thief Joker' has something that can be used as blackmail. He puts that family at risk.

It's never as simple as being 'overjoyed'.

Not when you're also a boy who's grown up with complicated feelings on emotional vulnerability, where being too vulnerable or too personal is far too uncomfortable, and being too emotional risks him developing weaknesses that will get him killed on heists. (I've talked about this before but I mention it a lot because of how much I think this impacts so much of Joker's actions and his personality, especially with how thoughtless he can be with people around him).

I think that Joker might find his own conflicted emotions offensive to even himself... where he wonders what's wrong with him to some extent, not being totally happy that he has surviving biological family.

What kind of person would he have to be to think that that's a pain, in any way?

Joker isn't the type to dwell on things but he'd stew in it ever so slightly.

For him, family is a more sensitive topic than any other.

[childofthestarpower]

Internet Angels

Hey guys! Morin here! Today I've decided to do a post on some of my Denpa-esque thoughts ive mentioned, this post is going to be dedicated to Internet Angels, so let's get started☆

"What's an Internet Angel?"

Internet Angels are being who are what I'd describe as regulars on the Internet. They (most of the times) try disguising themselves as normal people, but not all the times they succeded, and as I mentioned, sometimes they dont even try at all.

Anyone can become an Internet Angel, but it takes effort, resistance and resiliance to ascend to that plane, and yes, you ascend.

Note: You can ascend to it at any age, but i don't recommend doing that at young ages. Because the brain is still in development stage, too much exposure of radio waves and Internet content can either cause brainrot or premature ascension, which is no good!! If you want a kid to ascend, please wait until they're around ages 13 and up, so if brainrot/premature ascension happends, at the very least its not so fatal.

"How does it work?"

It's simple! It all works in a video game like way. Everybody has an NetXP bar, that bar serves to track how much media you consume, and when you consume media, that fills the bar with Xperience Points (XP) and that's what used to track it.

The more media you consume, the more XP you gain, and at one point, if you consume enough media, you will ascend (level up) and become a 2G type Angel. Oh yeah, I didn't even mention the Giga Types..

"Giga Types?"

There are many types of Internet Angels, some more stronger than others. As scientists, programmers and what not find out and "create" newer mobile networks, more Giga Types are of Internet Angels are discovered, and as of now, we have 4 types.

2G - The weakests, when you ascend for the first time, you become this. 2G angels can blend in well among non-angels and they're like normal humans, just with a little above the average screentime. Oh, and due to that, they tend to be more hostile towards the other types.

3G - The most common ones, at this stage, the Angel will be a little more net minded, but still able to mask it, the most prominent feature about them is their interests, which are all sorts of unique and non-mainstream media, which they can ramble on about for hours.

4G - In this stage, the Angel has a mindset that a normie/2G type may call "chronically online", this Angel dosen't leave the house often and only rarely ever does, they are really net minded, with their brain already re-wired to think in the Internet way. But because of the fact they still leave the house and talk to other humans with that Netizen mindset, they come off as weird and offputting.

5G - The highest we know of. These Angels do not leave the house, and they can be smarter than a 4G type. They are your typical hikkikomoris/shut-ins and they have big knowledge of the Internet, it's history, the textese and laws. Some of them have seen things that only Angels of this type shall understand, and I've also never seen a 5G Angel younger than 18. Legend has it these angels only come out to do pilgrimage routes to the nearest internet poles... They stand there, just absorving the radio waves in, maybe to ascend to what could one day be dubbed as 6G Angels... But we're not there yet, so let's not get ahead of ourselves.

"Where do they live? What do they eat? What are some of their habits?"

1. Anywhere in the world, in any state and city, but they tend to live in big developed cities. I've never seen an Internet Angel living in rural area, countrysides or farms.

2. Unhealthy food, high energy level drinks (coffee, energy drinks, etc) and anything instant (mostly instant ramen, for whatever reason). That dosen't really mean some of them wont try diets or don't eat healthy food.

3. Long screen time, usage of textese and other internet languages, long time on social medias knowledge of Internet history, reference to medias they enjoy and more I'm probably forgetting.

"What powers does an Internet Angel posses?"

With the help of some supplements, they can enter in contact and channel with higher beings, deities and gods and etc, the higher the level, the higher the deity they can have contact with, I've heard of people even channeling God!

Guide lower types, newbies and humans through the Internet.

Guarding and protecting potentially dangerous media to beings with lower resistance.

Create Digital Cultures.

Withstand stronger radio waves

Influence the modern day world and politics as it is, although i think this needs more research on...

Questions with simpler answers

"What type are you?" Seeecret☆! ;;;;;;;;)

"Are celebrities Internet Angels?" Depends on who we're talking, but they're mostly 2G Angels, the celebrities with highest Giga Type I've seen are Jungkook and Jimin from BTS, I'd say they're probably 3G/4G Angels who mask it reaaaaally well.

"What are Digital Cultures?" Topic for another post! This one is long enough~

"Is this a cult thing?" No!!! These are personal beliefes!!! Not a cult thing!!! >:<

"Are you insane?" I dunno,,

Anyways, if you've read this far, thanks for giving this post attention and reading it! It took a little longer than what i thought to write it and i hope you enjoyed it!! If you have any questions, leave them below. For now, Morin signing off—☆!!

[compassionatereminders]

i hope this doesnt come off as like enabling anything that might be hurting you but lowkey i find it kind of validating that you are open about those bender experiences yet are just you and the you i know is someone who (from a far ofc) is also a kind gentle person who makes a cnsistent effort to make the world a kinder place. And just seeing that is very important to me, some dork still too anxious to not be on anon. I'm a polysubstance user and im pretty sure i will be forever bc i'm not sure i can rawdog the concept of reality daring to continue after some stuff that happened. And until I found your blog that alone jsut made me feel so shitty and dirty. God, I was honestly so ashamed of what I thought i was to such a depth that it should be silly that your blogging uprooted that shame so effortlessly. I really thought there was no possible way for me to not be a daily polysubstance user and not be a stereotypical manipulative, mean, etc etc person. I would legit argue with my friends and spouse who have all shown me nothing but immense nonjudgemental compassion and support that they were wrong - I was a garbage human being because total sobriety is unbearable to me.

But then I saw you existing and creating and maintinging this little corner of the internet to be like a gentle warm safe haven no matter how dark the rest of the world is and I saw you've also had those nights and you have reasons why those nights happen and most importantly i saw that you are also what i consider to be a good person - you seem to live your life consistently with the goal of leaving the world a better place than how you encountered it that day. And the first time I saw you bender posting it literally just shifted my world and self view 15 inches to the left. It's dumb but like, I had never been able to observe someone who was able to hold within themselves such continued compassion and energy to strangers in tandem with the stuff most of the world likes a lot less so it was just something that never occurred to me. And god I'm getting too sappy and being weird over something that's probably silly and small to everyne else but seeing you do it through the highs and lows literally made it possible for me to accept that being a drug user (and by extension a survivor) is something that does not preclude me from being the person the people who love me think i am or make me lesser in any way shape or form. Your drug use does not make you any less valuable as a person or worthy of being loved and cherished (if you aren't or feel like you arent I hope every force in the universe turns to give you that), and thus i can no longer justify believing my drug use makes me less than worthy of all that too.

And I hope this isn't too offputting. I saw some of your posts and am in just squishy enough of a headspace to feel safe letting you know how much you being open about this has made this weirdo stranger's life much more worth living. Like, fuck homie. Ever since you gave me what i needed for that paradigm shift sometimes i just go and hold the love of my life's hand while they sleep because i want to make up for all the time wasted holding their hand and feeling like i was going to ruin them.

nyways, thanks for listening to me and all the other strangers of the internet. I hope your coke crash recedes quickly and smoothly. and may the grocery store never be out of your favrite things.

Addiction doesn't make you a bad person and I'm happy to be a reminder of that. Even while being reliant on drugs, it's entirely possible to be a good and kind person who does their best to treat others right. Obviously addiction isn't a good thing, but it doesn't invalidate your humanity and it doesn't make you a bad person. I'm proud to remind you of that fact!

[centaurianthropology]

1, 6, 23 for the salty meme??

I'm not really certain which fandom we're talking here, so I'll do the last three that I've been vaguely known for, for maximum salt. So yeah, here goes Critical Role, Magnus Archives, and Person of Interest. Hopefully one of those does it for you. Obviously there are going to be some unpopular opinions here, as it should be for the salt (or what small amount of salt I can muster for shipping questions, which admittedly is less than writing questions).

1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?

Critical Role: This one's tough, because I 'get' a lot of the OTPs, but I often find myself shipping out of canon. That's just how I roll. I guess I didn't really get the appeal of Caleb/Jester? It just felt a little too much like the mopey guy/manic pixie dream girl trope to be appealing to me specifically.

The Magnus Archives: This one is probably considered heresy to plenty of the community, but I didn't really get Basira/Daisy. I mean, I could see the actresses going for it, and that was fine and all, but until the Buried subplot I genuinely did NOT like Daisy. Her being queer did not overcome the fact that she was a corrupt cop using her power to threaten someone she saw as helpless for me, and it left a permanent bad taste in my mouth until her brain got shook loose of the Hunt's influence and she became a more interesting person. And even then, I didn't really ship those two, but I did hope their interactions might get more interesting and complicated because the woman Basira apparently looked up to so much had actually been pretty terrible, and she genuinely seemed to not like the more nuanced, thoughtful version as much.

Person of Interest: Reese/Carter. I won't lie, I got into this fandom because I found Reese and Finch's interactions to be so fascinating and subtle and nuanced. It was like there was the plot of every episode and then there was this weird, delicate dance between two vaguely offputting, weird protagonists who sort of adored one another, and I was 100% there for that strangeness. I really liked the friendship and working relationship that developed between Reese and Carter, and I loved that she was willing to call him on his shit, but I found that their relationship and interactions got significantly less interesting if romance was introduced. What can I say? I do not trust a network show to write a compelling het romance.

6. Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?

This is going to be a weird answer for all three, because my opinions on what I ship are basically never influenced by fandom. I have very particular tastes when it comes to shipping, and I tend toward snarky pairings, pairings with weird and subtle chemistry, pairings that yearn but are terrible at communication and genuinely strange people to begin with. People who get one another, but would never admit it. And that's generally not the popular ships of any given fandom. Sometimes I get lucky. I was shipping Jon/Martin back when there were about five of us doing it in early season 2, and we were calling it the Dinghy because it was too small to call it a ship. So fandom really didn't influence our tastes as much as we stuck around long enough that our tastes got more commonplace.

I don't really do shipping in CR, because it's a garbage fire of ship wars, and none of the ships appeal to me, either canon or fanon. And though I've read some great stories for various pairings, when I'm watching the show I don't find myself burning for more shipping between any specific characters.

Person of Interest is probably the prime example of how I ship: I watch or listen to the source material, I find that pairing that ticks the boxes that make me like it, and we go from there. I liked Reese/Finch from the off, and a few episodes in I was sold on Finch/Ingram as well, because they were exactly the sorts of weird and subtle interactions I craved in a good ship. Other ships got popular as things went on, but I'll be honest, Root/Shaw ... I could see it, and I got it, but it didn't appeal to me. Partly, that was because, no matter what the fandom said, I always thought Root was done a disservice by being brought on as a lead. She was far more interesting as an occasional guest and total wildcard. I might have been more interested in the pairing that way, because it would have had to be more subtle, here and gone, with lots of questions and intrigue. When Root became a lead character, a lot of the subtlety and mystery that made her one of my favorite recurring antagonists got promptly chucked out the window by the writers, and I lost interest.

So, yeah. Fandom tends to have little to no impact on what I ship unless it's some tiny crack ship I never would have considered otherwise. That's what can win me over on occasion, when it's so out of left field and so novel, and someone manages to write a story or an essay so compelling that I can see it.

23. Least shippable character?

I look at 'least shippable' not as a character who is gross or whatever, but as a character who gets less interesting in a romantic context than they do outside that context. A character for whom a romance is a disservice to their character growth.

Critical Role: I have no idea. I've only watched through the Briarwood arc in CR1, so I don't feel I can comment on the characters there, but I didn't jive with any of the canon ships there, and didn't find any of the characters particularly shippable or unshippable. They were all sort of there. Maybe I'd have an opinion if I watched more, but after almost 40 episodes, if the characters mostly still haven't hooked me (with Percy being the big exception), I'm probably not going to try to finish the other 100 episodes. CR2, opposite issue. I was cool with any possible pairing of the Nein, but not married to any of them. They were all fairly shippable, I guess? But at the same time, no one pairing grabbed me and no one character felt either made better or worse by a romantic context. And C3 is too new for me to see any of them as shippable or unshippable at this point.

Magnus Archives: Sorry for another meh answer, but I seriously can't think of any of the characters who would have been made worse by a romance, even if a lot of them didn't jive with me. They weren't unshippable, I just didn't find a ship for them I enjoyed.

Person of Interest: Okay, finally one I can really answer with an unpopular opinion: Grace. While I thought Carter was made slightly less interesting when they tried to take her weird friendship with Reese and turn it into a romance (because it was a network show and of course they did), Grace got it so much worse. They took a phenomenal actress, and they made her the rose-tinted lost love. She did the best she could with being given EXCEPTIONALLY little, but Grace was a character I was mostly willing to skip over up until Greer took her captive, and suddenly she wasn't rose-tinted anymore, and she wasn't in a romantic context, and she was just a person in a situation she didn't understand, and she was spitting mad. And for one brief, shining moment, I really liked Grace. And then they snapped her right back into the love interest role that has done so many female characters dirty, and she was bland again. So, yeah, Grace is the least shippable, because in that brief window where the show wasn't trying to make her shippable, she was a deeply fascinating person.

I think a lot of my opinions about 'unshippable' characters boil down to my formative television experiences being in the 90s to early 2000s, and seeing so many interesting female characters take a hard left turn into bland, pretty, shallow people meant only to be appealing to the male lead. It was definitely to the point where as soon as two conventionally attractive people of the opposite sex appeared on screen, I started dreading the inevitable, boring, poorly written romance that would turn a perfectly good character into the Love Interest. So the answer to this question hinged on a show or podcast either doing That, or somehow avoiding That, in which case no one was unshippable, because romance wasn't diminishing their character in any way.

I have no idea if there was nearly enough salt here. I get plenty salty about fandoms and shows, but weirdly I don't often get salty about ships? There are ships that aren't to my taste (cutesy ships, soft ships, the ones that are just two pretty people mooning at one another or the ones that pull the characters OOC), but that's a taste issue rather than my real salt, which I reserve for poor writing, bad wordbuilding, choices for characters that render them less interesting, or whatever other writing choices strike me as particularly dumb.

[nuka-colacherry]

Could I ask for a matchup? Im bisexual & a demiboy. Im very extroverted and I love talking to people. My sleep schedule is messed up & I forget to take care of myself so I need constant reminders. I love practical jokes & harmless pranks, & I'm a master of dad jokes. I'm super loyal to my friends & family. I love reading about new things & collecting random shiny trinkets & giving them as gifts. I also love to read and garden! I'm tall, have brown hair & grey/green eyes. I support the railroad!

I match you with MacCready!!

• When you hired MacCready, he didn't expect to become your boyfriend. Now, he can barely imagine his life without you.

• At first, he found your chatter offputting

- It wasn't personal, he just wasn used to his employers being so.. friendly??

- After awhile, he found himself really enjoying it. Not talking to you when you all were traveling together felt weird.

- Now, chatting with you is one of the highlights of his days

• You may be a master of Dad Jokes, but MacCready is an actual dad.

- Expect to "compete" with MacCready to see who is the ultimate Dad Joke Master™

- of course, it's all in good fun. MacCready doesn't get to be goofy very often and he appreciates that he can be that way with you

• He finds your pranks funny.. until you prank him. Then he's a little salty (most at himself for falling for it), but he gets over it quickly.

- He might try to pull a prank on you in return. Theres about a 50/50 chance of it working or it flopping. It really just depends.

• He's actually pretty good at reminding you to take care of yourself.

- He mostly just has you do stuff with him. Eat with him, go to bed when he goes to bed (or goes on watch) etc.

• He really values your loyalty. Finding someone who really cares about you in the Commonwealth is hard. He's very loyal to you in return.

• Keeps everything you give him. Even if its objectively worthless, its priceless to him.

- He likes hearing the story of how you found whatever you are giving him. To him, it gives it more meaning.

• He doesn't care too much for reading nonfiction books, but sometimes he will ask you to read to him.

- it's mostly just for background noise, but he really does love it.

• If you ask him to, MacCready will garden with you. It's not his favorite thing but being around you makes it fun.

• Ultimately, yall are pretty sweet together ❤❤