#until im around people who AREN'T my family or friends

[metanarrates]

I genuinely feel like an alien compared to my coworkers when they try to chat with me about things like dating and weight loss. like what are you SAYING about "oh you know it's just so hard to make your man understand the instructions you give him?" why are you trying to connect with me by complaining that you gained 15 pounds? is this how most people form connections in the workplace? i for real do not get it

[fairykazu]

NOT-SUPER-SECRET-CRUSH: tutor scaramouche in session! FT. SCARAMOUCHE contents // friends to lovers, requited love, hs au, modern au notes // if i write about my own math lesson here, would i remember it easier? masterlist // part one // part two

[sat. 8:30]

oh, god, what time is it? you squinted as the sun shined brightly on your face. grabbing your phone, [saturday | 8:31]. oh no. sure, you're one minute late but scaramouche hates people who are late. what if he flakes from being your tutor. oh, it's SO over.

scaramochi: where are you? scaramochi: do you even want to take this seriously?

you quickly replied back,

bobaluvname: i just woke up bobaluvname: my parents aren't home, im sorry. i don't have a ride (T_T) scaramochi: are you fr? bobaluvname: yeah... im sorry :(( scaramochi: ok

archons, sure, he's usually dry on text but not this dry! as you panicked, undressing from your pjs and quickly changed into am outfit.

ding!

what the hell? who's ringing the doorbell right now. you walked to the door slowly, you were still trying to stick your arms through the armholes. peeking through the peep hole, it was a familiar purple haired boy. wait.

WAIT.

what is scaramouche doing outside your door???

the indigo haired male sat at the furthest corner of the library, isolated from everyone else. scaramouche was worried about you but not like he would tell you anyway. the only way would be someone had to waterboard this information from him. but again, you're usually an early riser that's what he likes... tolerates you for. why are you late?

he turned behind him where the analog clock was mounted on the wall, the little hand on the eight and the longest hand pointing down. maybe something happened on the way? or you're stuck at home.

he texted you a message. [where are you?] ...no, that gives away that he's concerned. then, he added: [do you even want to take this seriously?]

perfect... doesn't he want you to know he likes you? no, this is serious work and an equal exchange of education and knowledge. it would be a plus though. he argued with himself a little more until he heard his phone buzzed.

[ two notifcations from idiot]

he swiped the notifcations open, seeing that you were in the chatroom.

idiot: i just woke up. idiot: my parents aren't home, im sorry. i don't have a ride to the library

he was right. you did have a dilemma, but he had to make sure. sending a reply back as he packed up his items back into his bag.

idiot: yeah... im sorry :((

well, it's well over five minutes of the initial meeting. he could treat you like everyone else and be an asshole to end the session immediately.

but you weren't like everyone else to him. you're someone he tolerates. as he was walking out of the library, he noticed you were still in the chatroom.

idiot is typing...

he stared at you typing and deciding not to type again. he waited for your text bubble to come back again. five minutes pass. your bubble doesn't come back. well, it would be better if he might as well go to her house, right? he doesn't decide to be rational about this and maybe this might seem romantic to you.

maybe...

that's how scaramouche ended up being in front of your door. he knocked softly before ringing the doorbell, "hello?"

he heard your gasp. "you're not subtle, you know. are you going to open the door?"

"ummm, yes! hold on." it seemed like you were struggling to open the door. maybe, the morax family hid a key under the rug or a gnome. he looked around the porch, noticing that he was stepping over a bump in the rug.

is it creepy to open your friend that you weren't very close with's door with the key the family didn't cleverly hid? 

yes.

he didn't open the door. instead, he waited for you to open the door yourself.

oh my god, you didn't expect him to just arrive on your doorstep with ease. from rumors you've heard, he wouldve ended the sessions without a second thought. you slipped into your shirt and patted the nonexistent dust off of your pants. you looked at the mirror mounted near the door. your hair is a mess...

you brushed your hair quickly, taking the spare hair ties that your dad leaves at the front. disheveled hair into a "sleek" ponytail. not really, sleek, you shouldn't lie to yourself.

you kept him outside for too long though. "come in!" the door creaked open, revealing scaramouche with his bag and two cups of very cold drinks in the other. "your shirt is on backwards and inside out."

"it is?" you looked down at your shirt, the tag was sticking out.

it's so over.

any remaining self-worth was drifted away in the wind and out the door. you closed your eyes and smiled, "okay, thanks, come in through."

he took off his shoes and placed them in the shoe rack. "i got us drinks but it's a bit cold now." your face fell and he smiled, enjoying teasing you. but from your point of view, he seemed a devil. a very smart devil though!

"although, you did waste my time," why is his words so harsh for wanting to say something nice? "but it's fine. it's whatever miss yae wanted to give to my mother. what now?"

"well, we can go in my room! c'mon, just wait for a minute because, well, y'know." you gestured to your inside out and backwards shirt.

"got it." as he watched you go upstairs. going to her room?? he's a little freaked out but he has to play it cool. "scaramouche, go up!"

"don't boss me around." despite his words, he walked up the stairs. you shouted back, with your shirt on correctly.

"i have the power though! think of your english grade." you explained, smirking. he snorted at your attempt of "winning".

"how about you think about your math and science grade?" he retorted back as he heard you sigh, he laughed to himself, reveling in the fact that he won this pretend competition.

well, you won in a way but definitely not this one because he would never tell you.

it's awkward... or at least to scaramouche. you had asked if he wanted to be the tutor or the tutee and he opted to the tutee. but he couldn't even pay attention to the words you were saying, as it was in of one ear and out of the other. it's strange to be in the bedroom of the girl he has crushed on for years.

you were on the other side of the desk, guiding him on a topic he was awful at. as much as he wanted to pay attention to what you were saying, he couldn't but help to look at you or your lips and how soft they'd feel against his.

ahem. he squeezed his eyes shut. maybe he should've offered to be the tutor.

your hand briefly touched his shoulder, he flinched, "scaramouche? are you okay? do you need a break?"

one touch from you made him freeze, it's so over for his reputation. he mumbled out a word which you took as a yes. "i'll get you a drink and snacks, okay? maybe you're not in the right mood for english, it's okay. you can tutor me for my lessons, instead."

scaramouche pressed his lips into a thin line and nodded stiffly. thank god, she didn't notice.

scaramouche is defintely acting off today. usually he's super grouchy, is it opposite day? do you start being like mr. grinch? why was scara acting so weird?? you thought as you walked down the stairs. turning into the kitchen to see...

oh god, it's baba.

your dad sat near the counter, waiting for his tea leaves to seep into the hot water. what would your dad think with scaramouche being in your room? would he freak out?? does he even know scara??? "hello, name, do you need anything? did the tutoring go well?" he asked. the steam swirled out of the cup as you tried to answer quick but not too quickly.

"hi, baba! i need some water. do you know where the bottles are?"

he adjusted his glasses, "below the counter. did your tutoring go well?"

"it's not exactly over. the tutor- remember scaramouche?-" you tried to express scaramouche with hand movements. a guy around your age on the shorter side.

he sipped his tea, "ahh, ei's child?"

"mhm! he's upstairs right now."

he choked on his tea, "what." you grabbed some napkins dabbing your dad's clothes with the cloth. "i didn't have a ride to the library," as your dad tried to regain his composure, slipping away from the counter, you grabbed the water bottles and a few snacks from the cabinets. your arms were full as you walked upstairs, "don't worry, baba! i will crack the door open."

"it better be wide open, young lady! you should've informed me about this!!"

"i'm sorry, baba!" your door closed completely behind you as you apologized, "oopsy, baba, i forgot!"

the door creaked open.

"hi, scara, my dad's home. but i have snacks."

"mr. morax is here... ?" scaramouche repeated, sounding a bit afraid. is your dad scary? maybe. did your friends say meeting your dad was like approaching a dragon? yes. is scaramouche feeling a little light headed? no (lying).

"yes, don't worry, he's all bark, no bite! anyway, tutor me, scara." you smiled brightly as he opted to be grouchy again. no way, he would falter this time.

you sat down next to him as scaramouche asked, "okay, so what chapter are you on?"

you tapped your chin, trying to remember, "chapter five, exponential and logarithmic functions."

"oh, i liked that chapter."

you frowned. scaramouche chuckled quietly, it's as if that frown would be engraved into your face. he stopped laughing, but a smile on your face would be better. he cleared his throat, "once you get a hang of it, it would be easier."

"are you sure?"

"would i be passing math right now if i wasn't?" scaramouche said, boasting a little.

"ok, don't flex on me too much now." you cried.

"for this problem you have to remember that logb y, which is the argument, equals x only if the equation is bx equals y. this is a rule you have to remember throughout the lesson."

"what?"

"you'll get the hang of it." he said it with confidence. after realizing, he sounded too nice, he added, harshly, "if you did, you wouldn't have needed me in the first place."

you pushed him playfully, "okay, scaramouche, don't let that get in your head, remember? you're the one with a terrible score in english."

"..."

as time passed, the lessons were easier to understand for the both of you, well, mostly scaramouche. but he wouldn't tell you that. he did. he likes to boast, remember?

[one notification from baba +1]

baba: i forgot i have more work to intend to baba: next time, please tell me if you will have a friend over. name: very sorry, baba! i will tell you next time. have fun at work, tell hu tao to stop overworking you :(( baba: 😂😂 baba: do not worry, name, hu tao doesn't overwork me. name: okay! have fun at work, love you baba: love you too.

after the session was over, scaramouche winced at himself, thinking back what he said three hours ago. although it was true, your shirt was on backwards and even inside out, he wanted to say, "morning, let's continue."

but continue what?? you guys didn't start tutoring beforehand. he's so stupid. attempting to save himself from the silence filling the room, he offered,

"do you want boba?" he said, quickly as he watched your eyes gleam with joy.

you laughed it off before you noticed he was serious. "wait, seriously?"

"yes, it's my treat." he replied, looking at you. has he ever looked this sparkly before? wait, this isn't a shoujo anime and obviously, he means it as friends. "sure! like right now or later?"

"do you want boba right now or later?" wow, answering a question with a question, so smart, scaramouche. the answer was obvious by just looking at you. "im fine with later though."

"no, no! right now is fine! just let me text my dad first."

"of course." scaramouche said.

name: baba, can i go out with scaramouche for boba? baba: yes but bring another friend too. name: i'll go to the boba place that ganyu works at! baba: good idea. have fun, name. who will be paying? do you need money? name: he will baba: 👍👍

"he said yeah but can we go to the one ganyu works at?" you asked as scaramouche nodded his head,

"since i'd pay, you can choose."

"hooray!!!" you cheered as you looked at him expectantly. he furrowed his brows as you gestured him to cheer too.

"hooray."

well, it was good enough.

tutor scara's tutees [open] : @saccharine-sucks @ainnofinway

[live4lust01]

sex, tied up, gagging, head(male recieving), dirty talk, swearing, confession, mouth fucking, idk

Chris sturniolo

Everyone sat cross legged on floors or leaned against sofas as we had a game of cards going. The soft glow of the lamp settled a soft, happy mood across the room as it were me, alahna, Nate, Chris, Matt and nick.

Our hair dripped water over the blankets draped over our knees and shoulders. Today felt like the official first day of summer. The sun had shone loud and bright and the streets had been filled with families and children enjoying the activities summer embraces. It was currently 11pm and dark outside. I put down four kings.

"that's a fucking bluff, alahna just put down four kings." Chris shouted.

"yeah? you sure you wanna call bluff on me?" I asked raising my eyebrows and laughing.

"I'm calling bluff." The confidence almost palpable in his voice. Alahna sat giggling next to me, knowing what the turnout would be and not for a minute did Chris decide against his desicion.

"nice one loser" I say showing him the four kings I put down and watching his face drops in disbelief as everyone else laughs.

"but she just-"

"she bluffed, stupid. I've practically won the game now" i laughed as I only had six cards left.

"That was alot of confidence for someone who's came last every round so far" Matt giggles through his words.

"shut up Matt, I haven't seen you win a round yet idiot" Chris retorted annoyed, picking up almost a full deck off the table now.

We kept playing until the round ended, Nate won since he didn't talk much and had little cards left. I excused myself for a bathroom break but headed outside instead to sit on the beach chairs near the pool. From here it was a beautiful view of the distant beach and the green, scenic beauties of the surrounding nature. The summer air was still and warm . I inhaled deeply and let out a breath as I looked upwards. The white specks of stars looked like diamonds littered across a black canvas.

I like to be on my own for a while after i spend alot of time around people, even the ones I love. My social battery runs out quick but today this wasn't the reason of my dissapearance.

Ive been thinking of Chris alot and our relationship, we're great friends and he does alot for me. Small gestures that melt my heart into a pool of pure love, I've definitely fallen for him. He usually dismisses himself to join me when I've been gone for a while and I love that. My social battery never runs out when it's me and him alone.

I decided today would be the day I tell him. I'm hoping it won't ruin anything since I have the odd feeling he may like me back.

"long bathroom break huh?" His voice, suddenly I'm nervous about being alone with him and what I might confess. Chris sits on the beach chair next to me as he also looks up with me. He's wearing just shorts and his v lines exposed a little. Don't stare I tell myself before looking at his face. "They're beautiful, aren't they?" He mutters, talking about the stars.

"Chris. I wanna tell you something." I blurt out before I can stop myself and change my mind. I stare at him, he has such perfect soft features yet the sharpest, bluest eyes I've ever seen. I breathe deep. Why am I doing this?

"tell me something." Was the response.

"uhm" there's no point in saying nothing, the truth always comes out and i should get it over with. "I think, I kinda of like you"

"i like you too, you're super cool" he says smiling.

"no, I mean... Im attracted to you." My heart, I hear it race. Was this rejection?

Our eyes suddenly meet and I immediately look away naturally intimidated, however it happened to be towards his exposed v line. Chris sits up straight, legs of the side of the beach chair as he looks at me with an intense gaze I feel sear my cheeks. I regret my desicion.

"you know, I was just thinking you look as beautiful as the stars tonight even though you're beautiful every night." My heart stops for a few seconds. I remain silent not knowing what to say but I look up to his face, a smirk playing on his lips. I folded immediately.

"you like what you see?" He stands up (noticing my stare) and stands Infront of me, his waist inches away from my face. He tilts my head up with his index and we look at eachother. "You know, somewhere down the line I caught feelings for you too but I didn't wanna ruin anything. I didn't think you'd feel the same and I couldn't get you out of my head. You were infecting my everyday life but I didn't mind getting sick. I thought of you constantly, your beauty, your laugh, your eyes... Your body" his voice raspy at the last words, waiting for a reaction.

He doesn't get one. My body is pushes back with his gentle hands, laying me down. He spreads my legs open then places his body inbetween. He leans down slowly, waiting for my refusal but I don't resist his lips engulfing mine. He kisses me with such passion as his hands grab my face, my body molds with his as his kiss turns from passion to lust and I feel his growing bulge grind of my body.

"I've wanted you for so long" I say breathless. Chris looks at me before touching the bottom of my bikini top.

"you have no idea how much I've thought about you naked, is this okay?" His eyebrows raise in question and when I nod yes he gently lifts it off me, exposing my chest then immediately taking off his swimming trunks and boxers. I rid of my shorts and rest of my bikini. I check him out without shame, the way his hair fall into his eyes messily, his arms skinny yet slightly muscular, his light abs, his v line and how it dips down...

He stands Infront of me and bends his down to look at me with that smirk, churning my stomach.

"youre just as beautiful as I imagined you to be"

He pumps himself a few times with his precum before...

"open your mouth for me, baby". I do as he says. I feel him rest his tip on my tongue as I look up with lust filled eyes. I circle my tongue around his tip for a slight moan as he puts his hand on the back of my head.

"first time?" He asks. I nod, grabbing his thighs.

"don't let that hold you back though, fuck me like it's your last time." I say taking my mouth off him to respond before pushing myself down him entirely. I look to his eyes. The way his hair curtains them a little. So blue, so light, yet so sharp and demanding. They look intimidating. His lips part, moaning as my lips touch his base. I begin moving up and down him, letting him slide down my throat fully.

"fuck baby, yeah that's it" he says, leaning his head back. I pace the way I suck him, getting faster. My licking the side of his dick everytime I move away from him makes him push my head further onto him. I start using my hands, moving them up and down, matching the pace of my mouth. I feel him hit of the back of my throat, my eyes watering slightly but I keep going, occasionally licking and circling his tip. I run one hand down his abs, feeling their shape. My hands run down to his thigh when Chris' hand massages the back of my head, keeping me pushed close around him. I feel his stomach tighten as my hand rest there.

One of his hands wrap around my neck as the other keeps it's position. Chris pauses my movements as he begins his own. Fast and rough. Grunting he uses my mouth to pleasure himself at his will as he keeps a fast pace hitting the back of my throat repeatedly.

"mhhhh" he's about to orgasm. I pull myself out his grip and he moans dissapointment.

I take a deep breathe. "I'm not letting the fun be over that quick, Chris. Sit down." I say in a low, strong voice as i standing up. More cum drips onto the concrete floor and Chris questioningly looks at me as he lies down. I straddle his hips as I stroke his dick a few times underneath myself, him pushing into my hand. Resting my hands onto his chest I lower myself.

"wait" Chris interrupts. I stop. I look up at him.

"you sure you wanna do this? You've never did this before." How thoughtful.

"you're asking me this after you've fucked my mouth and are centimetres away from having the best sex of your lifetime?" I ask smirking, circling his tip around my hole teasing him.

"mhhh, understood baby, was just asking but do what you must" he says leaning his head back, hands on my waist and thrusting himself up. I take him fully at once sitting down, his pelvis pressed against my thighs. We both let out moans of satisfaction.

"fuckkkk, baby you feel so good" he says as I feel his firm hands holding me down on him. This was definitely gonna leave bruises. I Begin moving up and down as his hands tighten their deadly drip and he moans, being so deep inside me. His eyes widen as if he remembered something.

"no condom?" He asks breathlessly.

"you ask the wrong questions at the wrong times. No risk no fun though" I keep bouncing on him as I giggle.

"mhhhh" was his response. I run my hands over his chest and biceps as I keep a fast pace, squeezing myself around him. I throw my head back moaning everytime Chris tip hits my spot. I circle my hips and keep moving as Chris keeps his string of moans going.

"you sure this your first time baby? You fuck me so good" he says mouth open.

"mhm. I thought it would be more painful" I say before he flips us over, Chris now on top of me.

"you like pain?"

"don't stop, keep going" I say helplessly. Chris pulls himself out. "Chris please. I don't want you to stop you feel so fucking good. I need you" my legs open wide, being needy.

"you're so needy, baby. wait a little and Ill have have your legs shaking so bad you can't walk for a week. I'm gonna fuck you brainless." He says in a deep whisper.he leans between my open legs and grabs my hands. He ties them together above my head with my bikini top.

He picks both my legs up, placing them on his shoulders. Without warning, I feel him slam inside me, not giving me time to adjust again before picking up his hard thrusts again. My legs shake, my back arches. Chris interlocks one hand with mine and the other rests next to my waist. He's so rough.

"Chris" I moan out arching more, letting him hit deeper.

"shhhh, we don't want the others to know you as the desperate, begging slut I know you as." He says his thrusts slamming into me fully as my tits bounce in rhythm with the movement of my body. He stares without shame. My eyes rolling back unable to handle it. He gags me with his boxers.

"you feel amazing baby, a while longer I'm almost there." His sweet whispers fill my ears. I feel myself reaching an orgasm. My moans get stifled by Chris boxers. I feel his hand supporting himself push against my lower stomach and I let myself go all over him earning a grunt. We stare into each others eyes. His were needy, deep with love yet still looked like blue flames burning with uncontrollable lust.

Chris pulls himself out and strokes his dick as he cums all over my stomach and tits. I watch as he releases and wait for him to take his boxers out my mouth.

I'm panting hard, taking in as much air as I can. Chris opens my legs with his hands on me knees and bends down to kiss me, keeping eye contact.

"how's that for a first time"

"wether were together or not, this is definitely happening again, alot."

Chris laughs at my comment. He unties me and squished my cheeks, kissing my lips. Put your clothes back on, we still have company inside.

First fic

[bropunzeling]

Since you say you love to chatter, I hope you don't mind being asked a few questions :)

what's a scene/detail/piece of dialogue etc that you really wanted to include in [fic of your choice], but you couldn't find room for? here's your chance!

if you had to write an epilogue (or sequel!) to any of your fics (that you are NOT currently planning on writing an epilogue for), which would it be and what would happen?

for the ships you're currently writing about (and have written for in general), is there usually one character you like more than the other? (will you tell us who? has it ever changed?)

what's a ship/fic idea you want to read about but don't want to write yourself? maybe somebody will be inspired!

share anything you'd like about a wip!

aw thank you anon! especially for the opportunity to procrastinate on working on my current wip :) answers under the cut:

some dialogue that i ultimately cut from the spain scene in marriage bets where they were having tapas (originally there was going to be ALL this flirting over the tapas and then it went on too long so i got straight to the questions):

"You're not going to eat that?" "Hey, I tried it." "You're so American." "It's the texture--" "Such a wimp." "I'm sure plenty of people aren't into eating octopus." "Uh-huh."

if i had to write an epilogue or sequel:

oh gosh. i think a lot about the one where marriage bets matthew and leon get married for real for real, with suits and their families present and everything. it WOULD involve matthew finally telling brady that he was not, in fact, the first tkachuk to get married. the other one i think about is, of course, rat baby in a cup. she reigns eternal.

is there a character in a ship that i like more than the other?

i think it's hard for me to enjoy a ship where i don't actually like one side of it! that said, there are definitely characters where i find it much easier to get into their headspace than others. i've probably said this before, but leon is such a straight line thinker and so easy for me to get that for a long time it was hard for me to try and write anything from matthew pov because his is a little more twisty-turny. they're both equally complex! but it requires different skills to get the effect i want, which is normally the pov character not having a clue what the other one is thinking. it's a lot easier to have leon misreading matthew than the other way around. except now of course i've written a lot from matthew pov so finding my way back to leon pov has been a challenge.

a ship/fic i want to read but don't want to write:

god what DON'T i want to read. lmao. i would love for someone to write a good achy jamie/trevor post-trade fic. i would love for someone to write a long slow friends-to-lovers matthew/sasha fic! i would REALLY love a brady/quinn future fic. especially if it features divorced brady. i feel like future fic especially is a trope/concept that i just feel less comfortable writing so whenever someone else writes it i eat it up with a spoon :)

share anything you like about a wip:

well the wip is going SO SLOW and is VERY HARD for me because im challenging myself by writing a slow burn and cant rely on sex scenes to do the chemistry work for me this time rip rip. but here is a wee snippet:

“Draisaitl. Tkachuk,” Coach says, gesturing at the starting line.

Leon gets ready, bracing his stick over his thighs. He’s already raced Jordan and Gourde—beat Jordan, beat Gourde—but he hasn’t had to go against Tkachuk yet. Hasn’t had to do much of anything with Tkachuk yet. Yesterday they were at the other end of the line from each other, or opposite sides of the rink. It had lulled Leon into a false sense of security.

Now, though, Tkachuk is watching him with that way that he has, like—

One time, while making kebabs, Leon got a splinter from the bamboo skewer under his nail. It hurt like a bitch, had him cursing for five minutes until Jenna told him to stop squirming and tweezed it out. The splinter had been miniscule, almost impossible to see, and Leon had wondered how something so tiny could be so aggravating and painful, would make him do anything just to get it to stop.

That’s how it feels when Tkachuk looks at him. How it’s always felt. Like his gaze is digging in under Leon’s skin, until Leon’s entire body is red and inflamed. It makes Leon want to scratch at his shoulders, his chest, until he can finally tear Tkachuk out.

[kokiwiouma]

OK so my Hajime, assigned female at birth just goes by he/him

i came up with this bc 1. i am a girl and we the player play danganronpa as Hajime 2. saw somebody draw hajime with a mullet and it came to me this way 3. his chest size, i know that's nothing but this is my au and if you wanna take up arms with me im not going to argue the issue if you don't like my ideas leave me be cause the first person who tries to come in here and argue with me is getting your ask deleted or blocked YES I CAN HIT THE BLOCK BUTTON

my Hajime is Izuru's sibling and Makoto's cousin, Nagito and Chiaki are his roomates but the house ironically is in Nagito's name and It was Nagito by himself until Hajime moved in and Chiaki soon came after. Later on at some point she got her own place but she doesn't live there she just kinda is here all the time and she's thinking of giving it to one of their friends.

Now we are going into other characters cause this was supposed to only be about Hajime but it turned into something else

Makoto,Byakuya and Kyoko are roomates but Makoto started dating Junko and Bya didn't really vibe with that so he told him if she's gonna stay here your gonna have to go and Kyoka got on him about it so now Makoto lives next door, they live in a apartment. Junko wants to own a house

Junko used to date Nagito when she was crazy but she slowly came to "yo, i need some help im wack" and they broke up

Nagito also dated Mikan but she was wack as well he also dated Ibuki and it's kinda hard to tell if he's dating either of them he doesn't make mention of his love life. Hajime wants the tea lowkey Chiaki already understands and refuses to let Hajime in cause that aint her business.

Chiaki and Junko are worsties

Chiaki is also always over at Maki's house.

Maki and Tenko are roomates they live in a actual house.

not sure about everyone elses situation but before Hajime moved int with Nagito he lived with Fuyuhiko i honestly might just move everyone in together cause why not?

Kazuichi,Fuyuhiko,Peko i guess Mahiru,Hiyoko, and Mikan live together Nagito can't really stand living with Mikan so he can't live with them cause they had a lovers to toxic relationship and he doesn't want to go back but he;s weak to her so he understands he can't put himself in that kind of situation where he's around her so he stays away.

Mikan doesn't give a crap i love her honestly i do

Kotoko is freshly adopted into Nagito's famliy he has a hard relationship with Leon who is also his brother and Rantaro is Nagito's step brother, Nagito,Kotoko and Leon got adopted into his family when Nagito was homeless he lived with Rantaro for a little bit before he got his own place with Kotoko

There is so much stuff about them in my head that is so random like im still including the ultimate stuff but like nobody killed anybody but i don't know how to incorporate that into the story like they aren't normal people the killing game happened? i guess? but it was like a simulation that is everyone is traumatized from the world did get destroyed a little bit i guess? i don't know i don't know how to fit the puzzles together yet

[weepingpussywillowtree]

big list of things that make sense about my childhood now that i know im autistic

not to be annoying, but this diagnosis makes so much click for me, and i need to get it down somewhere

i was an early reader, and a super advanced reader, but i had difficulty understanding complex emotional themes and characters in a way atypical for my age. on standardized tests, i couldn't answer questions like "what did character x mean when he said y"

i have aphantasia, and there's evidence that autistic people tend to exist on the extremes of the visual imagination spectrum (either none or lots)

i constantly got in trouble for 'rolling my eyes' and 'being a smart aleck'. the rolling my eyes was me flitting my eyes around because i couldn't make eye contact. the being 'smart' was me not understanding instructions or rules unless explicitly told. for example, i got in trouble at sleepaway summer camp (aka hell) for skipping a meal when i wasn't hungry, but i was never told i had to go sit in the lunchroom even if i didn't want to eat.

i was a picky eater. the only sandwiches i ate for the longest time were butter or honey sandwiches. for the record, sandwiches with plain white bread and lunchmeat still suck. bleh

i forgot about or ignored my biological needs. i used to wet myself and did it way later than my friends/peers because i either didn't realize i had to go, or i was so engrossed in whatever i was focused on that i ignored it

i had GI issues so severe as a young child, that i was put on prescription strength heartburn medication. GI issues aren't a symptom of autism, but they are one of the main comorbidities and i still have severe heartburn to this day.

I had meltdowns regularly when overwhelmed, over things my parents thought of as minor. like, coming home from a long day of school, or being 'late' to things we typically did at a certain time. this was described as me 'having a temper' or 'being dramatic'

i was extensively bullied and ostracized, for reasons i did not understand

i was taken advantage of in friendships, for anything from homework answers to being the fall guy for stuff i didnt do

when other children discovered they could make me 'explode' by pushing certain buttons repeatedly, they did it on purpose until i sometimes got violent. because of this, i was told there was something 'dark' inside of me that i had to learn to control.

the advice 'just be yourself' always did me more harm than good

i imitated the gestures, poses, responses, vocabulary, and tones of voice of my peers

i stimmed! all the time. i used to flap my hands and jump up and down, until that was bullied out of me. then i would pace back and forth while listening to my ipod

i monologued about my interests and couldn't tell when people weren't interested anymore.

i read fantasy books constantly, and couldn't tell when it was not appropriate to read.

i had an aversion to physical touch/affection, and even had a reputation in my family for it. they would try and goad me into giving them hugs. my mom said i was never comforted by it, even as a baby and the only way to stop me crying was to let me watch bambi over and over

i had terrible fine motor skills. i couldnt tie my shoes till 11 or 12 and couldnt use scissors until later

i couldn't stand certain textures of clothing, and any scented things at all. we always used unscented everything, and i wore a lot of boys clothes.

I had one comfort item, a stuffed lamb I took with me everywhere, and was distraught for close to a year when I lost her. she would often talk for me. as in, I would say what the lamb wanted or felt when really I was the one who wanted something or felt that way.

finally, i didn't play normally. instead, i arranged dolls, legos, horse figurines, or stuffies in elaborate scenes and then stared at them. often, i would do the same scene over and over for the same toys. i would pretend to do imaginative play or try to do it if some other kid was with me, but i could only really follow instructions.

In movie theaters, I plugged my ears through the whole thing even if I was enjoying it. I couldn't see IMAX films because they were too overwhelming, and would cry when I was brought to them.

I had inappropriate emotional reactions. I laughed at roadkill or at the can of smoke the priest would shake at my family's Catholic funerals, and often got accused of faking my emotions for attention when I was upset about something that other people said I shouldn't be upset by

[bruciemilf]

I hope you don't mind me chipping my own two cents in your hc!! Sorry your writing and angst also made me think all sorts of plots and feels that I couldn't just not share 😭😭

I wonder if Bruce's constant objectifying/harassment ever got spread around the league until no matter how close or not Batman is with you, they know how one of their leaders got treated as part of his daily life.

I mean, it's a pretty huge deal; Oliver might just tell people to tread lightly around Bruce and to not attempt any sexual remarks around the man. Putting himself as Bruce's newly, worrywart big brother in the scenes

Ted Kord whisk Bruce away to a business talk when a creep straight up fondle Bruce's ass (Michael Carter once punched a guy for it and couldn't come unless he finds a secure place to punch a creep)

Green Lanterns Corps and Batman are never in good terms, and when they found out how Batman's civilian identity acts, they shared a few jabs and laugh together. But after what Hal told them and how actually disturbing the whole ordeal is. Even the lanterns grow worry about their bat friend.

 

So whenever there's a media coverage and bustling reporters trying to trapped Bruce in, the Lanterns will shout at them to back off and give Bruce enough time to escape. Jessica prefers to comfort Bruce as they both run away from the press while everyone else is holding them back, she feels like he needs some.

(On the other hand, Guy loves shoving entitled paparazzi away, so it's a win-win!!)

 

Even his children's friends knows! They can see how Cass is seething at any particular ladies who go up to her dad. Dick usually consult to Wally and his team about his frustrations and concerns (which in turn only spread further). Tim, despite being a pretty secretive person, always makes it known to his friends about what's going on with Batman's life. Jason and Damian will rant to whoever is willing to listen and go off each time. Duke is usually awkward and uncomfortable when talking about it, while Steph won't shut up about his treatment.

Sometimes they invite their friends to his galas whenever they weren't able to attend them and keep those creeps in check.

Especially Carmine Falcone, whose creepiness to child Brucie (even now, which is no different) is widely known in the hero communities that it's not joke anymore. There's heroes who outright said Falcone is their least favourite villain and he won the most hated general guy in the league

Bruce has mixed feelings over all this. At first, he's grateful that his love ones are look out for him, even in the most trivial of times. He would do the same to be honest.

But...its getting out of hand where, this help only make Bruce feel even more helpless — Like Bruce is bringing all those disgusting leers onto himself, he can handle it. He should handle it. He knows how to handle it. He's not actually some dumb fragile glass that they need to treat with caution. Saving himself from dire situations, mentally reminds himself who he is and what he's worth. You can't just take it from him. Nevertheless, there's times he can't and it went too far...

Right now, after being saved from another weird cultist kidnappers; Constantine and Patrick are ushering him away from the masses while Dinah is holding people back with Kory and Dick. Its not about Bruce, the papers aren't going to be about him, and yet they treated as if it is. And Bruce, lets them. Bruce lets them handle him like some damsel in distress who couldn't do anything to save himself.

Bruce hates that part of himself. Ashamed even. Being saved like this will constantly remind Bruce that he's still playing the same poor, pretty little orphan in need of rescue at that shitty alley— by his family, friends, coworkers and even their fucking children. Thus, it further solidify his shamed. Bruce resents it, but doesn't know what to make out of it

K, so im gonna copy and paste my response from the previous part here!!

I LOVEEEEEE your points about Bruce's inner struggle with accepting care vs embracing care. I feel like this trope for THAT context frame echoes truth especially loudly.

Bruce being a victim of SA/Sexual Harassment and not rationalising that bc it happens SO often that he just. Stopped characterizating it as Harassment hits. Because I feel like.

Men don't know how to accept a help that doesn't harm them. Weather it's alpha male coaches embarassing them and their identity that they themselves seek out, or balantly ignoring clear signs of abuse, there's a certain viciousness in how men treat themselves and their trauma.

Bruce is like that not because he wants to appear MANLY, or because he thinks it's a Women's Thing, but simply because he sees himself as a tower of protection. What's the point of protecting others if you can't even protect yourself?

[tamorisana]

thank @mylarena ty for making me have gay about vampires thoughts.

okay. so we where talking the other day (literally 10 minutes ago as i write) and she said "having your blood drinken, giving a right to drink your blood is homoerotic" (not literal quote). AND I AGREE.

now come closer and listen. ill take alerudy because im starting for them and it will not cause much problems for most of people and make them see my point but i see rudy as a vampire who was raised in a foster human family. where he was dismissed for his needs (literally why adopt vampire.) and he just grew up like so, always hungry, smaller from not having a constant flow of blood in his body which causes health problems

and he meets alejandro

now, rudy is about 10 and ale is about 12 and the first one has like no friends except for his brother and brothers friends, who to their credit really did try to include him in almost all activities they had despite the age gap or he would sit with them listening while they talked about a game or smt and feel nice bc they let him enjoy the company, and ale is a type of kid to know everyone but having just a couple of kids who are considered friends.

and they meet and they don't hit it off immediately. alejandro is terrified of vampire because of stories about them as well as thinks the younger just wants his blood and rudy hates it. he hates being seen as nothing but a blood sucking monster so he just turns around, leaves angry ale to stand silent and shocked. its a way he solves this problem. very effective one, most are just too stunned to continue speaking. at this point you look at me up and down and think "fucking idiot! what are you doing?? what are you doing!?! how will they be with together if you refuse to make them friends??" yes they aren't friends right away.

but such reaction sparkes something. ale expected the boy to scream at him, be angry and jump on him, bite him. but he didn't. he looked more upset than disappointed and he just turned away and left. he may have left physically but still present in the back of his head.

and its a start, he looks out to him every time he can to ask why? if alejandro intrigued he will get and know anything he wants. the next time its cloudy he searches narrowly for rodolfo (pretty name. he had an uncle with same name and he was the best) and finds him quickly. he apologizes, gives rudy a candy his Abuela bought for him and a little cartoon of coconut milk.

and thats a start to them.

in a few weeks they are inseparable. in years basically glued to eachother. there are no alejandro without rodolfo and there is not rodolfo with out alejandro. they are 15 and 17 when rudy runs out of coconut milk and is about to close himself in basement until his parents finally buy some when his partner in crime says:

"why dont you drink from me?"

and is met with absolute no. he wont do that. he wont use him for blood. ale is a brother a friend, a dearest one and he does no such thing only of hunger. warm hands grab his shoulders to bring back to earth.

"rudy. look at me, i asked only because i trust you and with your control. idiot. i offer because i want you nicely fed and shit"

and they make an agreement. rudy gets his blood when absolutely needed and alejandro gets the language and math homeworks and help if he needs one. this goes on for years. even when they join the military.

i got distracted and lost the thought. ill continue this one day with these characters or other ones. i also have many siren!rudy and human or werewolf!ale if anyone wants them

[willsimpforanyone]

Heyy! You're writing is amazing! Can you do a PJO headcanon of a daughter of Apollo being best friends with the 7? My pronouns are she/her. I'm from the Apollo cabin and I'm a lesbian. I have curly blonde hair and green eyes with central heterochromia (gold ring around my pupil). I'm skilled at picking up instruments, writing poetry, and art. I'm also known to have a gift of prophecy at church. I would want the power of manipulating sunlight. The poetry, music, and art are more of talents and not full blown powers like the prophecy one and the manipulating sunlight one. I'm incredibly sassy, dramatic, intelligent, kind, and caring. If people are mean to me I am not one to be quiet about it, i will call them out and be rude back. I love amusement parks, but I can also get down with something more calm like a book store and a coffee shop. I love yellow hydrangeas and roses. I love animals (I've had 7 pets in my life). Ironically, im scared of needles, snakes, and Thalassophobia (idk how to explain it lol). When I was younger, my mom was bed ridden because she was sick and my dad worked all of the time, so I practically raised my younger siblings (if I had to choose how old I would be, i would be a year older than Will so he can still be a kid, but a year younger than Percy). My fatal flaw is self-sacrificing. I have anxiety and seasonal depression. I also dont like to be touched, unless if it's a girl im dating bc of trauma in the past. I don't know if you even needed or wanted a description of the daughter of Apollo, so I hope this was ok. Thank you so much in advance!

unbelievably specific lol but i can certainly do my best!

-----------------------------------------

Percy Jackson This kid would adore you. You'd be like his little sister along with Estelle. The pair of you reach dangerous levels of sass like gods forbid anyone tries to fuck with the you two while you're together because you will End Them.

Annabeth Chase Can and will drag you to bookstores. Not many of the others read as much as she does so she will lure you out of camp with promises of hardback novels and caffeine. Also treats you like a little sister, looks after you and will physically fight anyone who tries to hurt you.

Piper McLean As a child of Aphrodite, she has an aesthetic appreciation for your central heterochromatic eyes. Is excellent at handling your anxiety and providing distractions. Once she gets comfortable with you, she will absolutely point out every cute girl in your vicinity and tease you when you blush.

Jason Grace Often jokes about how you, him and Annabeth look like a weird blonde family with different eyes. Is always down to ride rollercoasters with you, of course, he loves the adrenaline. Works with you to make cool things with the sunlight by adjusting clouds a certain way.

Leo Valdez This bitch is dramatic as fuck and we all know it, so you two together are a damn Shakespearean tragedy. One thing goes wrong? You're monologuing about the cruelness of the world, how you're tormented in this life by screws that fall out of fidgets and pencils that always break.

Hazel Levesque Makes requests of old 40s tunes on different instruments and dances shyly while you play. If she's feeling adventurous, she'll walk round camp with you asking for random prophecies about things like a flower or a squirrel, just for practice.

Frank Zhang Is awesome at cheering you up. Pick an animal, he's gonna chase the depression away with it. Even if it's like a snail. It'll be a slow chase but he'll do it. Is also great at just sitting with you when animals just aren't doing the trick and will stay with you until you feel a bit better

----------------------------------

i hope you enjoyed, thank you for requesting!

[medtech-mara]

So, your other ocs. Are they involved in the campaign at all, or do they exist separately? Followup: Do any of them interact with each other in any capacity? Friends, coworkers, passing acquaintances, etc etc

Music | CharacterKey | Random

Short answer: Yes. I think what makes this campaign standout so much, at least mostly to me, with 18 years of roleplaying experience…Is how alive our Night City feels. These aren’t just some random newcomers, these are people born in Night city, they had lives before being mercs and it really shows throughout the campaign, where members are trying to hide what they are doing from those they love the most. One players family, friends, even ex-lovers have made huge marks on other players characters lives.  Long answer: YES. MY GOD THIS IS WHAT I LOVE THE MOST ABOUT THIS CAMPAIGN. Mara/the Adams & the Desert Foxes/ Atredies are probably my crown jewels of life brought life into the city.  It started with me just loving how complex Mara’s life was juggling being a Medtech for a Clinic she Co-owns with her Childhood bestfriend/ love of her life that neither have found the words to say to each other yet & trying to hide her Merc life because Jack & Jayce wouldn't approve of it. Something about Jayce wanting to hide the fact he was working for Maxtac from Mara until he couldn’t any longer, Mara then having to go through great lengths to make moves around Maxtac district lockdowns to not be seen or caught by her brother. Having to come up with a good enough lie until I just started running out of them for Mara to tell Jack as to why she was leaving work early, or needed time off for a Gig.  Then, after meeting Jago’s mainline Chae-Rin after his passing, she became apart of Mara’s life some weeks after when she had to be rescued by Mara, and chose to never leave becoming her roommate. There was even a sibling like relationship between the two when Chae-Rin would retaliate against J I H Z Z Y using her Matcha bodysoap by sabotaging Mara’s expensive tech hair shampoo.  2023 had caused a massed homelessness that was solved by the city by using shipping containers and making them into districts around the city. A bulk of them reside in Santo domingo between the outskirts and the Sunset motel, so when rockerboy and new Night Raid member J I H Z Z Y and Mara started their notso Secret relationship, she spent a lot of time out there, and had come to learn and love the tight-knit community that is CD-82 and its residents that have helped raise J I H Z Z Y up from nothing.  These are just a couple examples. I know I refer to Mara a lot and/or jihzzy a lot, but its due to me being able to talk about them a little more liberally than I can with any of complex relationship tree we have going that shine MOST in the AU due to being able to create a little more freely there. It’s INSANE OVER THERE and I love it, I can’t wait to start the new one to further build our version of Night city. This story has all the dynamics, you name it. Even healthy family ones. *Points to the Shins*

okay, so this took me longer than it should have, again im so sorry. Lol. Anyway, I could go on more, but i gotta know who interests you the most, even if they aren't my character, I got the biography of my campaign mates, they always love indulging in some blorbolory (trademark pending?) I know I still don't have it all together yet, still slowly working my way thru it. I got a PH.D on this subject, I know it better than the writer for the campaign.

[wishing-stones]

hello!! if it's alright, may i get a match-up with your R&R boys? no pressure of course!

i'm very excitable, for lack of a better term! im very enthusiastic and initiate a lot of physical contact with people i like! (like hugs or hand massages or dancing!) i love to receive words of affirmation! i feel most natural in a caretaker role, and im very defensive when it comes to the people i care about! im apparently very prone to (light-hearted) teasing because of my reactions, lol!

i enjoy drawing, reading, writing, gardening, and taking care of my pets! i’m very anxious when i’m not moving or getting things done, so busyness is a constant for me! im usually idle when im tired or when im with friends or family!

You and Blue are made for each other. He can match your energy and then some, and loves hugs wherever and whenever he can get them! Smooches, too, but he's a little more shy about that level of pda. If you're alone... all bets are off. He frequently tells you how much he loves you and loves having you around, and doesn't mind if he gets babied a little. He knows he's not so great at taking care of himself sometimes, so having a second pair of eyes and hands there to make sure he doesn't overwork himself is amazing.

Blue will fight till his last to protect what he loves, so you're in good company here, too. He won't tease you about it, but he can't make any promises that his brother or friends won't.

He intimately knows the anxiety of having to constantly be doing something. He feels very much the same-- but if there's someone else to turn that nervous 'have to be doing something all the time' energy towards when he's done doing his own things, it's much better. That being said, he knows the importance of rest and taking time for yourself, so if he thinks you're maybe pushing yourself a little too hard, he initiates a mandatory cuddle break, and no, you aren't getting up until he's sure you're not going to drive yourself into the ground. You can absolutely do the same for him, and probably should-- he does it too.

Killer might be a good second choice, both for physical contact and for high energy. He could get a little mean with his teasing, but is generally good to make it known that he's just joking around. He's not as great with words of affirmation, and he does enjoy his downtime and would insist you do the same, which... might cause some small troubles. (And if the trouble isn't with Killer, it'd probably be with Nightmare who would be consistently irritated by the can-do positivity around him, lol.)

[heleizition]

DAMN not me being like whos cody and the plot post being like GODS FUCKING CLONE CHILD. tell me everything we love an apocalypse harbinger. also CAIN MY BOI poor baby needs that therapy. also the whole 'and god thought mh well i liked that lets try again'? chefs kiss. I Wish To Know The Past Lives by you categorised as kinda boring THING pls. does cain get a bestie? someone give this man a bigger support and luv system. also vik is a BABY? a former child. A BABY!! also W HA T is that fuckery with jasper tell me absolutely everything please

SHES MY FAVORITE WEIRDO GIRL I LOVE HER SO MUCH SHES HOLY AND BRINGS A RELIGIOUS FLAVOR OF TERROR THAT I. CARE ABOUT <===== guy who was not raised religious at all idk why im so into it

so in the plot post i mentionned there's a memory thing. everyone remembers bits here and there of their past life, and usually demons mostly remembers bad things they did bc thats how u manipulate people into doing more things that are . not good. cody and jasper are the only ones with no memories of past life bc they were created in this realm, and had no past life. she has no idea she's god's soldier, They sent her down there mostly for Their own entertainement and everything she does is her own choice and will, even if god can "feel it" (which is why . they end up sending the whole lil family back on earth . for a chance to be happy. bc they feel cody's happiness.)

for the rest :

past lives ! um ill put lil warnings before. each lives.

Nell & Belly : tw for child abuse, sexual abuse and exploitation, adults not helping like they should lol

Nell and Belly (btw their full names are Nathanel and Anabelle) are born twins, nell just a few minutes before his sister. their mother died at birth which sent their father (an already not . good guy) into deep constant rage and pain . once they grow up a bit . i mean like. 7 or so. theres sexual abuse happening . and beatings. selling out his kids for a night for money. nothing fun. nell and belly get through it together until at like 16 nell (who's like, underfed, short, no muscles) snaps and stabs their dad over and over again .

nell only remembers this, killing his dad, with absolutely no context behind (protecting himself, protecting his sister, freeing them) so he thinks he used to be a Bad person. after that they get placed in the system, ig theres a trial but its ruled as legitime defense, and once they're 18 belly just. vanishes. they both deal very differently with what their whole life was, nell cant go on, can barely support himself, thinks he should have died right then, and belly flees from nell to find . somewhere where she can forget. she regrets it but nell dies before she can reconnect (not sure how, his death isn't rly whats important here,,, im thinking . so numb he can't rly recognize whats around him . walk in front of a car. yeah). belly struggles to have a happy life after that and ... im not sure how she dies yet. im thinking drowning bc its a thing that almost happens in the farm au....

as an angel, she doesnt remember much, because there wasn't much happiness in her life. also these two as twins have a bond that still connect them in angel/demon realm ! so they know the other exist and they remember once they meet !!

eden : tw for transphobia, drugs, suicide, abusive family ?

i'll go short w him bc it's not pleasant and it makes me sad <==== guy who MADE this backstory

eden is trans, always feels out of place as a kid, as a teen. his parents kick him out at eighteen bc they "can" and bc even if eden never said anything, they Know and don't want him in here. he has a friend who helps for a while, until the rumors spread about him being a ~ freak ~ and his friend is like. im sorry my parents cant let u impose in the house. anymore. : /// . eden is lost and desperate and doesn't know what to do, sells himself, gets into drugs to get through the days, finds out the days aren't worht getting through, kills himself. yay

he's one of the few who's always remembered his past fully,,,

LENA lena my BABYGIRL um tw for war mostly

this happens in a fictif medieval era lmao she's the princess of a kingdom, daughter of a kind king and queen, destined to rule, fighting among the army already, everyone loves her, except her small kingdom gets torn apart by another kingdom, not that much bigger, but with much greater military strength. the country gets torn apart before the army, the king and queen can do anything. the enemies arrive to the capital and lena doesn't even ask and joins the vanguard. she uses a sword at this point, get through enemies after enemies, and it looks like there's hope, until one of the enemy's captain reach her. it's a bit of a eowyn versus the nazgul vibe in lotr except lena doesn't win. she's slain, and slowly dies on hte battlefield with her beloved country burning, and the people she swore to protect screaming and dying.

she's very loved. i care her so much. she's my default when idk what to draw :3 she remembers being a loved princess, and slowly remember the last fight. it haunts her, the weight of losing this fight, that she couldn't do more, even if it's from a time long gone.

titania ummmm well theres grooming. witch hunt and betrayal.

i have to research the exact period titania's past happens, but its between late 1400 and early 1600s i think !

she loses her parents very young and thus, is cared for by the local church. there's a priest here who teaches her to use her looks and innocence as a way to get things, information, food, anything. once she's 13/14, he starts showing her the more physical way to do so.

she starts using sex as a way to learn things. she's the person who knows the most about anyone in the village. she's an important figure, one who's gifted things to keep silent, who gives her body in exchange for things to hang up against someone. she hates the priest who made her who she is . she couldn't have been something else, happier, lighter, but she's this, and she's too deep in to just stop.

she's too powerful, she knows too much, and when there's word in the village of a witch inhabiting it, they all turn to her. they have a way to get rid of her and the power she holds over them. she screams what she knows when she's brought to the center of the village, screams her hate of the priest who made her who she is, destroys everyone's nice little life because it cost hers. she dies burning, and everyone chooses to act like they never heard her in her final day.

she's the wise calm one who's actually full of anger and wrath. i love her a lot. there's this french song i love ("a witch like any other") which talks abt . women. women and men treating women like they're granted. and like. its a titania song. if u wanna give it a listen this version is amazing altho it's more powerful if u know french....

VIK UM OKAY not much tw here. it's just fucking sad. im a terrible oc parent. it's also heavily inspired by hell's girl season 3's protagonist past..................... it's basically that tbh SOEJFEFSJS

his mother and him are not allowed in the village. his mother is sick. he doesn't know it, he just follows his mother. she's kind and beautiful, gives him food and tells him stories. he's 4. they can't get in the village and he doesn't know why, so they find dry places in the woods to live. it's fun, it's everything he's ever known. one day his mother doesn't wake up, so he goes to try and find food by himself, to surprise her. when he's back, she's still not awake. she's stiff and cold, so he gives her his blanket and waits. days pass. he's hungry, he's thirsty, he's 5, he doesn't know anything, doesn't know how to go on, the usually places he finds bits of food are empty. it's colder and his mother hasn't moved since that day.

it's snowing. it's pretty. he wishes his mom could wake up and see it but he's starting to think that maybe she won't.

vik dies, age 5, in the forest, cold hungry and alone.

he doesn't remember anything, and his ignorance nd naivety makes him so much easier for noah to manipulate him. she doesn't mean to at first, she sees a child who could use some help, and she's always wanted a child. but they're at war, and sacrifices need to be made.

ABEL AND CAIN'S PAST ISNT CLEAR TO ME RN IM SORRYYYYY SOMETHING ABT ABEL BEIGN A RULER AND CAIN HIS SHADOW WHO KILLS FOR HIM YAGHHHHHH IDK MAN abel slowly remembering that he was a mercyless king who made his people suffer just like hte people he's trying to fight rn,,,,,,,,,,, honey

i don't have much planed for cain in tame of support rn im sowwy.................... i wanna work on it tho.......... i have a lot of secondary charactres that he could fit with...............

noah used to be a cool fearless pirate stealing rich people to give to the poor in her hometown mostly. finding strays and helping them. i love that for her . she was a good guy, a robin hood, and then her devotion to god fucked her up (aka hermit the frog by marina). she jst fights bc she thinks it will bring peace until she learns god was just Bored lol !!!!!!!!!!!!!

i don't think i forgot anyone ? if i did i am sorry (bows down to my kids)

jasper's thing......................... well. there's always been experiments. trying to find a being Higher. jasper was created in a lab. then he and another kid, angel this time, were fused. the scar is most likely due to this . for the longest time jasper just thought he had a strong inner voice but it's this other kid (no name yet sowwy!!!!!!! im coming up with this on the spot actually which is why i like being asked abt them it makes me THINK). he's the only saved experiment from this. abel and cain had been sent to investigate on a demon who's part of the high council, but who some people thought was shady. he indeed was. they destroyed eveything (u don't toy with life) and found jasper. omg . they both kind of raised him . ohhhhhhhhhhhhh OHHHHHHH

anyway later in the story, belly and him are fighting opponent, belly is cool and strong but she almost dies and well . those two are in love and it makes jasper's inner angel wake up along with some new powers. not sure exactly what!!!! im thinking !!!! ok i gotta go grocery show now BE BACK SOON BC I SEE MORE THINGS IN MY INBOX

[zoyaofthegardvn]

little known fact, i am a huge the walking dead fan. it's the first tv show i ever got into (i was 9 when it premiered!) and one of the very few shows i ever watched on a weekly release basis.

i remember, up until season 8 when i stopped watching, i literally had never once in over 8 years missed an episode. i was seated at 9pm every sunday evening when it released.

my whole family sat around to watch it together, but we all stopped when they killed carl because that was just unforgivable, atrocious writing that we could not look past.

we tuned in for rick grimes' last episode, and for michonne, but we never watched the show in earnest after season 8.

i did, however, tune in to the finale last night. it was a bit bittersweet, now that i have grown up so much, i had a watch party with a group of friends rather than my family being together (people have moved out, moved on).

while watching it, it was just a tad disappointing because it really wasn't the walking dead for me. the walking dead died with carl grimes.

the camera angles, the filter, the camera quality, the characters, they just aren't what i fell in love with. i miss the grain, the hazy look, the lowkey-ness of it, the tight knit cast of characters. i miss the original opening credits. i miss rick grimes more than anything.

but, nevertheless, i was actually really impressed with the series finale. i cried. A LOT. the performances, specifically from connie, kelly, magna, yumiko, and luke in that first act of the episode... wow. i was a puddle of tears. i hardly knew those characters, but the walking dead has a phenomenal, talented cast.

and rosita, my love :( full on sobbing mess. she deserved better. she deserved to live forever with her baby girl that she fought so hard for. she deserved to go swimming, in the summer, with her bestie, eugene. a beautiful, powerful performance from christian serratos. rosita espinosa is a walking dead icon, one of its best characters. she deserved to make it to the end. that was a raw, heartbreaking end to her story.

and i dont know if i can put my love and emotions during that very final scene into words. rick grimes, my beloved. one of my all time favorite characters, the first character i ever stanned, a character i will always hold so close to my heart. you cannot have the walking dead without rick grimes.

i was convinced that neither rick or michonne would make an appearance. i should have known that andrew and danai wouldn't let the show end without one more epic scene.

i screamed, burst into even more tears, and had the body high of a lifetime when i got to see rick grimes on my screen again.

perfect ending to the finale, perfect final monologue, pitched in from the entire cast, finished by michonne and rick. the beautiful montage of all the past, iconic characters. the nods to all who built the walking dead and made it as incredible as it was. seeing glenn, carl, beth, hershel, and tara grace my screen again... it was a beautiful final few minutes to a show i will always, always, always love.

rick grimes has, what i consider to be, the most epic, intense, profound character arc of all time. i've loved him since season 1, and i'll follow his path through the walking dead universe with no hesitation.

rick grimes went from believing "we are the walking dead" to believing "we're the ones who live."

rick grimes, there is no character quite like you!

thank you to andrew lincoln for his flawless portrayal of one of the most badass main characters to ever exist in television history.

the walking dead changed, for the worse. but, that finale was truly a love letter to what it used to be. it was incredible. im so sad it's over, that it couldn't end during its peak, but i cannot wait to see rick grimes and michonne grimes back on my screen, next year.

[wooahaes]

dino soulmate au !! i don't have a specific trope in mind, but im curious to see which one you think fits him best :D

hii <3 hmm... technically dino was where i left off on my soulmate series (which is currently paused until i finish either sweet night (more likely) or under the sun (unlikely lol), then i'll try to finish out those fics before i start a new series), so i'll avoid what i've got planned for him there

(death tw, will tag the post w this as well)

ill play around w a lil bit of angst. reader has lost the soulmate that they were dating ever since they met in high school bc (insert cause of death here). not even minutes after he's dead, the name lee chan writes itself across the back of their hand. out of resentment for the universe immediately pairing you up right after you lose the love of your life, you resolve to keep the stupid name covered as much as you can and never meet this lee chan the universe is replacing your soulmate with.

elsewhere, chan realizes that there's a name written up his forearm that he didn't have before. a certain percentage of ppl are born w/o soulmates, and chan always thought he was one of them until now. he probably excitedly shows it off to his friends (only abt half of which have soulmates imo bc i like having a mixed bag there), and they promise to let him know if they happen to run into someone w his own name on them.

enter jeonghan, currently going through practicum to become a licensed therapist. enter, you on a summer day without a bandage on the back of your hand and his friend's name contrasting your skin in neat lettering. also enter the fact that jeonghan can't say/do anything about giving out your information because of violations, so he's stuck trying to figure out how he can lead you or chan to one another.

ultimately, he figures out a way: you mumble one day a week or two later that your favorite coffee shop is closed for renovations because you'd always treat yourself with something sweet from there, jeonghan asks if he can make a suggestion, and he pushes you toward one of chan's favorite places before immediately getting both seungkwan and vernon on the task of getting chan there. you end up sitting in the corner to kinda just people watch and chill post-therapy session and wait on your drink. your name gets called out, and you notice the way another guy's head snaps up immediately. you retreat to your corner with your drink, only to hear the name lee chan read out soon enough and you aren't taking any chances. you get up to leave, and immediately the guy tails you out and asks for you to stop before rolling his jacket sleeve back to reveal where your name is boldly written along his arm.

you tell him you aren't interested. he's immediately heartbroken by that kind of talk, but asks for your number anyway because he'd at least like to be your friend if nothing else. you give it to him after making it clear you aren't looking for a new lover, and then leave.

and idk insert more stuff abt you and chan getting closer until you finally open up and mention tht ur in grief counseling bc of ur soulmate dying and that you'd always hated chan (as a concept--you like him now as a person) because it wasn't even five minutes before his name appeared on you. he apologizes, you tell him not to bc its not his fault, and the two of you agree to take ur friendship slow.

insert chan feeling guilty as he falls for you. insert u feeling guiltier because you fell harder after that and you try to push him away again. fic culminates in you admitting to him or to a friend that you're terrified of losing another soulmate. maybe its w a family member of deceased soulmate who reassures you that he would want you to be happy before asking if it had been you, wouldn't you want him to move on one day? it ends w you crying on them and apologizing because you feel like ur betraying ur first soulmate, but accepting that its okay to move on.

its just a lot of talk abt grief and whatnot lol with a side of chan helping you heal because he wants to be there for you, romantic feelings or not. you confess to him that you've fallen for him and ask to take things slow now and the fic ends off with the two of you going to get coffee together or something

[imagine-your-love-story]

I always wonder if I'm doing this whole self shipping thing correctly. like im worried if im doing too much or too little or if i need to interact with people more or if i need to write some sort of backstory. like the story of how i got with him i see is unique from the rest of the self shipper ive encountered so far. to me, he knows hes fictional and i like to play around with him and other characters in my mind. ive seen many fans of shows do such things but it seems here they labels them familial fos or something? idk i just liked to use my imagination to play around with them. and then days passed and this character i start to become closer and closer to him everyday until finally one day during a very rough moment i just said to him "i self ship with you" and boom we're married lol. but i dont have a self insert. its just me, me as a regular person. and i like to imagine different scenarios with us. he also is helping me through other mental things. and he knows hes imaginary. almost like a copy of the character i watched the show from, but hes self aware of his actions and is kinder and softer than he is in canon. hes mine basically. but i guess the thing that hurts a lot is that that i had a bad fallout with some of his other fans and its dampened my love for him unfortunately. (i actually sent an ask about this before heh). i also have a bad habit of comparing myself to what other self shippers do and i start to feel guilty that im not as open as they are because social interactions with my fo get very deep and personal and...if i ever do talk about him id want it to be with someone who understands how deep this goes with him and me. and its hard to do that on public forums. it even gets painful. sometimes i dont even want to talk or gush about him and i just want to keep to ourselves in private without anyone peeking in. that way i dont invite any eyes into my private headspace. even the most innocuous thoughts. i just want it to be us and only us. but at the same time im lonely and want to meet people who feel the same lol and a lot of times i overshare. i have this saying that i say to myself: once i put something of myself out there, its not mine anymore. its now shared with others. and you know what i dont like sharing anything about him in public lol, but idk how else to make connections. i see everyone else sharing about their characters and i want to make friends so i also share, but im not enjoying it. idk what do you think? am i weird? is this not common? are these feelings normal here? are there people out there who feel the same? ty.

My dearest, sweetest, little anon bean, I mean this with every ounce of my heart: your self shipping experience is FOR YOU. That means you can't mess it up! You can't go wrong! :)

There is no right or wrong way to self ship!

Some people have self inserts, some people don't (like me *raises hand).

Some people LOVE to gush about their f/os and put EVERYTHING out there! Other people are a little more protective for various reasons - maybe they don't want criticism from the self ship community, maybe they feel they aren't creative so they don't want to create content, or maybe, like you (and me!) it just feels right to keep things quiet.

Whatever the reason, it's ALL valid!

Some people write backstories because it's on their mind and they wanted to share it.

Other people (like me) don't have a backstory because...well...I just never thought about it!

If it helps, I've been part of the self-shipping community for about 3ish years officially (I was self shipping LONG before I found the community, I just didn't know what it was!) and for the record, I still don't understand everything that goes on in the community.

Other people (like me) don't have a backstory because...well...I just never thought about it!

I totally hear you about your frustration with comparing yourself to other more out-going shippers. For me, socializing (even in parasocial online situations) drains me very quickly, so I often have to retreat to recharge (which I feel very bad about sometimes, even though that's how my brain/body has worked for my entire life). So I can't be as active as other people, or create as much content, or interact as much as others.

Ultimately, the self shipping community is HUGE and it's very, very fluid. There are some areas that I don't go into because...yikes...it's a war zone. But I have met some FANTASTIC people through this blog (and my personal side blogs!) so finding your place in the community comes down to just being yourself!

Do what feels right to you. If you don't want to share much, that's okay! Backstories, self inserts, gushing, and anything else that you might encounter is all optional based on YOUR comfort level! :)

Some suggestions for making friends that have helped me:

Offer to create something for others with their f/os, i.e. playlists, ficlets, moodboards, imagines (very popular!) etc.

When someone reblogs an ask game, send them a few asks about their f/o(s)!

Comment on fics and other things that people share about their f/os. Even if it's something simple like, "You're cute together!" it really stands out to people and makes an impression that you noticed their f/o! :)

Ask for a boost! I'm ALWAYS happy to signal boost to my blog if you're looking for people to chat with, or advertising for whatever you're doing on your blog! :)

You are NOT weird, dear anon! You're navigating what you want/don't want and that's okay! Self shipping is supposed to be a fun hobby that is entirely tailored to your desires and comfort level. You don't have to do anything you don't want to! ♥

And try not to worry about comparing yourself to others. You are your own unique person with your own needs, your own energy, your own boundaries. Just have fun with your f/o in any way you want and you're doing the self shipping thing right! :)

[webslingingslasher]

bff... i need ur perspective on this :’) this is rly long srry just take ur time! reply whenever u feel like it, or not<3

here goes another 🧚🏼‍♀️ lore from 2023 JSNFNDKJSHS

i had a crush on this guy around may-july 2023.. things were going rly well like he reciprocated my energy toward him, bantering here n there, and he was such a gentleman like yk basic stuff - opening doors for me, picked up n fixed my bag for me when it fell even if he didn't have to lol, always checking on me and helping me with hw (we were classmates), and he also prevented me from being seenzoned in the gc we were both in by telling me in our dm he'll reply to me in the gc ?? like for the sake of not being seenzoned,, i didnt mind at all but ok 🫂 he also mentioned that he prayed for me one time bc i was so stressed out w life and he prayed i won't be stressed anymore, n that i need to look after myself.. my ex-bffs thought it's silly and it wasn't an excuse to like him (??) but that time i thought it was sweet. i didn't have any evidence to think or know if he was lying or anything so.. 🤷‍♀️ i was just happy abt it and i thought, if things fuck up, i'll just deal with it when we get there.

and anw yea we were basically in talking stage, stayed up to talk and he was still the first person i talked to when i woke up haha and we also made time to see each other like we rly planned and included each other in our schedules to hang out.

good stuff right.. but like one time when we were getting to know each other (in person, my ex-bff was there with us), he told us he has a sister. but the next time we hung out, just the two of us, we talked abt video games and told me he'd watch his brother play. so i was like "oh so u have 2 siblings? bc u have a sister too" then he said "huh? no, it's just me n my brother" and i was like "???? wym u said u have a sister.." then he said "really? i said that?" TF DKKSJSJDJS.. even my ex-bff confirmed he said sister when the 3 of us hung out so im not making it up... n all my other friends told me thats just sus bc why be sus about family... i mean he sees them everyday?? and it's basic knowledge to know ur family 😭 my dad even said he might've lied and said he has a sister to make him seem like a green flag (assuming he'd know how to respect and properly treat women)

could be an honest mistake, sure, it happens. my friends and i even considered that his sibling might be non-binary or trans and maybe he wasn't in the position to tell us, that's understandable. but idk he still told me 2 diff things and i can't rly have someone who doesn't stand on what they say or do to me, like telling me one thing then another (i have severe trust issues..)

the thing is, when i start to doubt someone, especially when i think they lied and if i think they aren't genuine people, it's over. like that's my dealbreaker. (goes for my ex-bffs too)

so like... after that, whenever he msged me i became dry until i didn't open his one reply to me anymore. so i ghosted him.. he never msged after that, assuming he felt like he couldn't approach me.

i feel bad. like serious. im more bummed abt him than what happened w my ex friends ngl bc he rly was nice and i liked him, we were good until that. but there's sm uncertainty and i'm sure i hurt him bc he gave clear implications that he was interested in me. i'm assuming he also doesn't know what happened bc obviously i didn't confront him, so it's unfair for him.

i thought abt confronting him and to just be friends with him at least, i did. but i also thought - he would either apologize or say something that will make it okay to solve things.

1) even if he apologized, i'd have to wait for changed behavior. thing is, i only give one chance when it comes to trust, and i feel like that was ruined already, somehow. i mean, i can have disagreements with anyone about anything and it's fine, we can work through that. but if there comes a point where the trust is ruined, i'm done, and i can't wait around for changed behavior. it'll take up my time, and it's kinda unfair bc i never lied to him or gave him reasons to feel weirdly about me. it's not even hard to tell the truth about simple things.. also, why wait around when there's better, honest, and more genuine people out there (this also applies to my ex bffs) 😐 also if i wait for changed behavior, i'd basically be trusting him again to not do anything like that again. but he alr lost my trust to begin with so ?? lol

2) if he would say something to make it okay, i'd be giving him an advantage, and i'd be forced to stay with him, allowing him to think that what he did was fine.

3) i thought about being friends with him at least but i didn't rly want a liar friend or a friend that i'd doubt.. i don't want to have to doubt anyone's character in my circle... i don't need the stress.

my guy friends told me the bar was low and i deserve better, and i probably doged a bullet bc if he lies abt small things.. what about the more serious things? and it's a situation i didn't need to be in. like fr, no one's usually sus with their family 😭😭 so why put me thru that when no one else experiences it.. tf

but anw.... months later, around november actually, he added me in his close friends on ig ?? i only saw a couple of stuff like anime, class stuff, idk, nothing weird or anything. i think he removed me tho later on. but today i think he added me back LOL. i also noticed he'd check my stories once a week 😭

so like.. what the hell does that mean LMFAO we haven't talked nor seen each other in person since july. that's 6 months..

i didn't remove him from my socmeds in case we happen to be classmates again and work together and in the future as well. thought abt removing him but i might need the connection in the future for business bc we're entering the same field after all.. 🙇‍♀️

i'm not even mad anymore but like huh JNBJDSJHS

but anw yes. what do u think of this... is there anything i should do or not. speak ur mind please 🎙️ tysm ily

(this also just gave away that i'm avoidant. sorry. it comes from trauma😂 working thru it though. i believe i made an improvement when i confronted my ex bffs n broke up w them which happened after i ghosted him.. rip)

-🧚🏼‍♀️

oh my god girl.

he didn't say he was derek jeter, he said he had a sister. and then told you later on he only had a brother. if he wanted to lie, he'd continue the lie. instead, he confronted it and moved on. you didn't.

i have three brothers. i have gotten names and ages confused my entire life. it seems like an honest mistake and he acknowledged it. i'd get if it was a big lie, but it seems like this was a slip of the tongue.

maybe he was thinking of a friends sister.

maybe he was thinking his brother was a bitch.

maybe he was nervous.

we don't know. you just stonewalled him. long story short, if you want to at the very least be friends with him, let it go. if you can't, leave him alone.

what does it mean? he liked you. but i don't know if he still does.