#update: this long longfic is even longer than i realized

[yyyyanyan]

I am enjoying a fic but ik I dropped it in the past and I Cannot Remember Why

[gojonanami]

[ last updated: 07/06/2024 ]

‧ ˚. PROFESSOR GETO SERIES ↳ Professor Suguru Geto is a renown ethics professor, and you're a straight A student whose GPA he's trying to ruin. You're more intent on making him see your brilliance -- but you get more than you bargained for, when the two of you learn about what you owe to each other.

‧ ˚. PROFESSOR GOJO SERIES ↳ Professor Satoru Gojo had never failed at anything -- until his latest research project. That's why he had found himself at a weeklong conference, where he discovers the perfect distraction -- you. And he can't help but be drawn to you - even after he finds out that you're the one person he's trying to avoid most

‧ ˚. SATORU GOJO

seeing you tonight, its a bad idea right? | smut, fluff ↳ seeing your ex is always a bad idea, except when its satoru gojo.

bigger than the whole sky | angst, fluff, manga spoilers ↳ before his fight, you and satoru have an honest conversation about the future.

dessert before dinner | smut, fluff ↳ satoru can't wait to have you until you get back from the sister school event, so he plies you with sweet words until you agree to have dessert before dinner.

all's fair (in love and mergers) | long fic, smut, fluff, bffs to enemies to lovers ↳ you're not sure what's worse -- being an arranged marriage or being an arranged marriage with the person who used to be your best friend.

three's a crowd (ft. suguru geto) | long fic, au, smut, fluff ↳ professors satoru gojo and suguru geto rarely wanted the same thing at the same time -- that was until you.

bloodsucker | smut, dark ↳ you had avoided your ex for so long, only to run into him at a halloween party, and he's the same as ever but has his teeth always been that sharp?

got you | smut, dark ↳ satoru finally found you -- and he's not going to let you go this time.

is it over now | angst, fluff, smut ↳ suguru thinks the only way you'll leave him is if he lies to you about cheating on him - and it is. but turns out, you're not so easy to leave - for him and his best friend (ft. satoru gojo). "if you want, i can come inside?" | fluff, crack, domestic ↳ nobara spots gojo with a sorcerer she's never seen before and of course hijinks ensue (aka hearing gojo's english va (kaiji tang) say the above line in apothecary diaries and i lost my mind).

i wanna show you off | sugar daddy au, smut, fluff, slight angst ↳ when you accompany your friends to a bar rich men and women frequent, you catch the eye of a certain white-haired rich man, who is more than willing to spoil you

tastes sweeter on your lips | fluff ↳ on a rare day off, you decide to take care of the strongest sorcerer - with something very sweet.

the doctor is in | smut, fluff, au ↳ when you go to your annual check-up, you didn't think you'd be crushing on your doctor - or that he's conduct such an in-depth examination.

twenty-nine | fluff, angst, crack ↳ it's gojo's birthday, and he can't help but reflect on what birthdays have meant to him over the years, especially the year you decide you don't really want to do anything for his birthday (but it turns out you do).

sit in my lap | fluff, crack, domesticity ↳ you and satoru take your daughter to see santa at the mall, and satoru proves that he's just as much of a match for his daughter, as he is for you.

just a little longer | fluff, angst ↳ after geto defects, you find yourself on a roof of a building wondering where things went wrong - and you're not the only one.

sweet nothing | fluff, angst ↳ satoru always comes running home to your sweet nothings -- except this time.

lower your guard | fluff, smut, au, longfic ↳ after the gojo family receives threats to their lives, you're hired to protect the heir to the company, satoru gojo - you just didn't realize how charming the rich heir would be - and just how hard it would be to resist his advances. don't want any other shade of blue but you | fluff, smut, fake dating, longfic ↳ you can't help but say yes when your longtime crush asks you to be his fake girlfriend for a year to get the gojo clan to stop arranging marriage proposals for him. but little did you know, he would be doing both of you a favor. love means to say goodbye | multi-lives au, fluff, smut, angst, jjk manga spoilers ↳ "would we love each other in every life?" it's the question you asked satoru the night before his battle, and he replied that, of course you would. but did that promise create a curse -- or were you both always cursed to begin with when it came to love? yakuza fiance (ft. suguru geto) | smut, yakuza au, fluff, threesome ↳ you had no patience for the yakuza lifestyle your grandfather had -- you wanted to live a normal life, but when it leaks that your grandfather is in talks to have you engaged to one of two yakuza heirs -- you realize you're in deeper than you thought -- especially when they both fall in love with you.

a house is not a home | canon au, fluff, suggestive ↳ you come home after a long day of work unable to find the person you call home anywhere — until you reach the bedroom (househusband gojo).

just wanna fuck with you, just to make up with you! | smut, modern au, fluff ↳ satoru gojo is the man everyone wants, except you - he pushed you away after you had your daughter, you divorced him. so what happens when he comes to pick up your daughter for his weekend, and he finds you ready for a date?

rumor has it that my best friend loves you (and i do too!) | smut, actor au, fluff ↳ rumors swirl about a love triangle between you and your two heart throb co-stars on the set of jujutsu kaisen. except in this case, you and your two co-stars are happily dating. but what happens when you get casted in a movie where they want you to have a PR relationship with your co-star? especially when your bfs find out who it is

break my soul in two (but you're right here) | angst, manga spoilers ↳ satoru showed no concern for himself -- so you had to, even if no one else would.

‧ ˚. SUGURU GETO

meant to be | smut, dark ↳ when Suguru defects, he asks you to come with him -- but he's not going to take no for an answer.

three's a crowd (ft. satoru gojo) | long fic, au, smut, fluff ↳ professors satoru gojo and suguru geto rarely wanted the same thing at the same time -- that was until you.

is it over now (ft. satoru gojo) | angst, fluff, smut ↳ suguru thinks the only way you'll leave him is if he lies to you about cheating on him - and it is. but turns out, you're not so easy to leave -- for him and his best friend

might hurt | fluff, crack ↳ suguru's popularity is truly a curse, especially when he gets hit on right in front of you. luckily, you both know how to handle those situations.

i just want to fuck all night | smut, fluff, sex pollen ↳ after swallowing a curse, geto finds his body in an uncontrollable state of arousal, and who better help him cure it than you?

would it be enough if i could never give you peace? | fluff, angst, smut ↳ suguru's birthday spent with you is like a dream -- the perfect day spent in bliss, but what happens when the dream has to come to an end?

yakuza fiance (ft. satoru gojo) | smut, yakuza au, fluff, threesome ↳ you had no patience for the yakuza lifestyle your grandfather had -- you wanted to live a normal life, but when it leaks that your grandfather is in talks to have you engaged to one of two yakuza heirs -- you realize you're in deeper than you thought -- especially when they both fall in love with you.

‧ ˚. KENTO NANAMI

no regrets | hurt/comfort, fluff, angst ↳ when nanami is injured from his fight with mahito, you're sent to pick him up. and both of your careful avoidance of your feelings for each other comes crumbling down.

armed and dangerous | smut ↳ nanami's arms were always so nice around your throat, but you never tried having his arm between your legs before, until.

good girls get backshots | smut ↳ nanami has always been a gentleman, but he finally decides to play rough and mark you up -- at your request.

five times nanami wanted to propose but didn't | angst, fluff, smut ↳ nanami wanted to propose to you so many times - but it was never the right time, and then, there was no time left.

best part of my day | fluff, domesticity ↳ on a bad day, you give nanami just what he needs, and remind him why you are truly the best part of his day.

all the time in the world | fluff, hurt/comfort ↳ after shibuya, nanami lets you tend to his burns and have an honest discussion about what happened there and what it means for your future. but i'm a fire (and i'll keep your brittle heart warm) | fluff, hurt/comfort, smut, au ↳ throughout your years of jujutsu tech, you take care of kento, whether its a wound from a curse or a simple cut his finger -- and when he returns he finds you still ready to take care of him -- even after shibuya.

‧ ˚. YUTA OKKOTSU

↳ coming soon :)

‧ ˚. CHOSO KAMO

it's a need | hurt/comfort, smut, fluff ↳ after you take an attack meant for him, choso can't seem to understand why -- so you show him just how important he is to you.

hey emo boy! | fluff, smut, au ↳ saw this boy at the mall last week. got the kind of look to make me freak. wanna fuck in the back of the hot topic?

best friend's brother is the one for me! | fluff, au, smut, bedsharing ↳ you've been asked whether you and yuji are together a million times - but the truth is his brother is more your type -- so what happens when you end up sharing a bed one night?

just one more bite! | fluff, modern au, smut, vampire au ↳ choso kamo is your coworker who seems to hate your guts - even though you're both always stuck working together, but the only reason he does is because he wants nothing more than to eat you up -- blood and all.

‧ ˚. RYOMEN SUKUNA

paint the town red | smut, dark, au ↳ you've always been a goody two shoes -- or so your friends say -- so what happens when you decide to do the first bad thing you've ever attempted and try summoning a demon -- and it actually works?

the girl next door | smut, age gap, modern au ↳ you had grown up next door to the itadoris, but you never had met their uncle. and for good reason, he had spent the majority of his life in and out of jail. but now he was finally out, and he only had one goal in mind -- getting you in his bed.

‧ ˚. YUJI ITADORI

don't want you like a best friend! | best friends to lovers, fluff, fwb, smut, au ↳ yuji itadori has been your best friend since you were kids, and when he offers you to teach you how to fuck, you don't expect him to be able to find his way into your heart too.

jealousy, jealousy | smut

which of the men whimper | smut

spooning the dilfs | fluff

jjk men and if they're good at singing | crack

househusband suguru

househusband nanami househusband gojo (1) (2) (3)

mindreader nanami

geto swallowing a aphrodisiac curse

gojo - maybe in another life

guitarist! suguru x opera singer! reader (1) (2) (3)

frat boy! suguru x nerd! reader (1) (2) (3)

curse! suguru (1) (2) (3) bringing suguru back to life

[fountainpenguin]

I made a proper cover image for my favorite passion project 'fic! Here's a proper Tumblr post to go with it.

---

Dog's Life - 3rd Life SMP Fan-Season

❤️ Read on AO3

💛 Longfic - In progress - Updates Tuesdays

💚 More Pixels Imperfect series 'fics

💜 Worldbuilding posts + Art posts

---

Synopsis: Dog's Life is a 3rd Life SMP fan-season (Drafted before Secret Life) that balances goofy Minecraft gameplay with server hub meta. Life Series shenanigans and interpersonal drama abound in this world of mob hybrids, anarchy players, soul crystals, fantasy politics, glitches, dragons, moral dilemmas, past trauma, and more.

This season's mechanic allows players to steal the traits of the mob they most recently killed. Every player is also assigned a quarry: a fellow player they're allowed to kill to boost themselves up a life. If you kill your quarry while on Green, you're bumped up to Purple life.

Of course, playing in a world of glitchy servers and experimental mods is just asking for trouble. It doesn't take long to realize something is very wrong with this game... And with anarchy players closing in around the "hidden" server hub of New Star Station, it looks like life off-server may not be peaceful much longer, either...

If this 'fic interests you, check it out on AO3!

Also, everyone gets their own character arc! Some of my favorites include:

- Sometimes you lose things you'll never get back and you're gonna have to deal. Sorry about your chronic glitches and/or your irreversible isekai situation; get well soon - Assuming the worst of others will only cause you heartbreak. Hey clock duo? Get some counseling - You can't be best friends with everyone, but everyone can be the best friend to someone. Including nonexistent museum curators or demon robots with a special interest in rustic houses - Setting boundaries is healthy and cool even if you're scared of offending your friends. Especially if they insist on you possessing someone's body - Captain status isn't all it's cracked up to be. Sometimes you CAN get what you're sure you want... but at what cost? 💔

Enjoy! (First 1,000 words under the cut)

---

impulseSV - Pre-Game

Grian: impulse Grian: what kind of candles do you want in your summoning circle Grian: the new life series impulseSV: lol impulseSV: ocean mist is good! impulseSV: and bamboo :)

💚  💛  ❤️

Impulse isn't breathing. You wouldn't either, if you were the one flying through the Void. Breathing here will fill your lungs with icy spikes. Yeah, he was technically coded as a demon, his mortal flesh warm with the taste of life, but breathing here still wouldn't be a good idea. It's smarter to free-fall in an exhale. Smarter to suck the empty air through your nostrils (if at all).

The Void smells like frost burn, gunpowder, and the gooey poison of cave spiders all mixed together and baked in a cake of death. It's a small improvement over the steamy sulfur of the Nether, but neither one is a cake you should be eating. While the Void isn't alive, sometimes Impulse hears it huffing at him. If you skim low enough, you can hear saliva crackle as it licks its lips and rumbles, hungry for its prey. It wants you. More than any lover every will, more than any ravager or vex or creeper, and it will crush your lungs if you so much as grant it breath. Impulse has died to it a dozen times, but this won't be one of those days.

It's a wall. It divides this world from other worlds. It will gobble you up and leave a petrified husk behind. Your unmoving body will float a few moments in empty space until the Void spits out your code again beside a bed. Falling out of this world, plunging into the depths of the Void, is one of the fastest deaths there is (right up there with a bad fall that snipes all ten of your hearts in one blow)… but it's the death that always takes the longest to regenerate from. You never hit the ground. There is no sudden snap. It just devours you. It's dangerous and beautiful and Impulse loves it for its mysteries. He wants to grip it in his hands. Run thick streams of it through his fingers. Immerse himself in danger and delight.

The Void will kill him if he spends much longer down here. Even if he holds his breath. And he can't fault it for that. When he's down to the last threads of durability on his elytra, he really shouldn't be skimming this low in the inky darkness. It's either been 15 minutes or an hour of waiting for Grian's call… Both are indistinguishable, the rocket count the only indication that time exists down here under the world at all.

Yet some kind of yearning in his code demands he play the waiting game here… Something raw, something primal, buried deep within his data core.

Question: Why?

Impulse blasts another rocket, arcing upwards. Years of practice keep him from bashing his head straight into the bedrock ceiling, but… Eee, that squeal he made when scraping close wasn't exactly the most manly thing he'd ever done. Skizz would get a giggle out of it and wax poetic about how much he loves those little shrieks, but Skizz isn't here right now. He's off in the mines hunting down a little extra coal. Though he didn't bump his head, Impulse rubs it anyway and gives the bedrock a little kick.

"Mean," he mutters to himself. He should probably stay up here. There's more oxygen near the bedrock. The cold doesn't bite as much. But he dips his elytra and ducks away from the ceiling anyway… mostly because he doesn't trust himself enough not to slip up and punch it with his fist. With ungloved hands, punching it is sure to result in damaged knuckles. His hunger haunches aren't full enough to offer natural regen after that.

Goosebumps blister across his skin. The yawning Void stays empty underneath him. And Impulse, so often steady in his faith… begins to falter. What's going on? He made a schedule. Has recording for the new Life Series already started without him? Maybe Grian told him the wrong date. Or…

Maybe, in spite of last week's chat messages about candles on the Hermitcraft server… Grian forgot that one of his players needs a special invitation to join a new world for the first time. As a demon, it's built inside his code. He needs a circle. His name chanted thrice…

No. Grian won't forget him.

Impulse swoops into the blackness and pulls up like a hummingbird. He juggles double rockets in his offhand. Okay. Okay. His breath slithers out in a silver cloud. Every inhale stabs his lungs. The Void is freezing- really freezing. Do people realize that? It's already eating away his skin like maggots and he hasn't even touched the worst of it. Or is he just crazy? Yeah! Maybe he's gone crazy from spending 15 minutes to an hour straight down here, doing nothing but fly in aimless circles, awaiting a portal that may never come…

The Void feels blacker here in the Overworld, somehow, than it does when you're in the End. It engulfs him in a cloak, and Impulse cannot breathe. The wings of his elytra strain at his shoulder muscles. Oh. He's too low. They're trying to pull away from him, like the pockets flapping from his cargo shorts. The wings are weaving in and out of his code. That's not unusual this close to the Void. The Void is weird like that. It wants to rip him into pieces. It wants to drag him closer. It wants to gobble him up.

Paf! goes half a heart of damage. Paf! Paf!

Ow. Impulse whips his mind back from its wanderings, throwing all his energy into his wing muscles. His elytra strain, but with the help of a rocket, he sails a little higher. His hearts stop flickering. He presses a hand against his chest. Okay… He can still feel six of them beating. He's okay.

Grian won't forget about him. He won't.

[Full 'fic on AO3]

[jmagnabo92]

20 Questions for Fic Writers!

Thank you so much for the tag, @lovelymasks!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Currently, 187, but I'm probably going to add like 10 more by the end of the month - most of these are Prongsfoot Microfics.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

729, 900 words. Well, damn. That's a lot of words. For it's for basically the last two years of writing on AO3.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently on AO3, HP and Ghosts CBS, but I have some writing in word docs for other fandoms if i ever finish them (like Once, Charmed, PLL, CM, ect).

4. Top 5 fics by kudos?

Take Care of Me (655)- Sirius/Harry One shot for Sirry stockings in 2021. Sugar Daddy Fic.

Companionship (570) - Sirius/Harry longfic where Sirius gets out of the country before Harry's fifth year and they meet again when Harry's an escort 9 years later, not realizing their identities, fall in love.

Return From the Veil (533) - Sirius/Harry Ongoing fic where Sirius comes back out of the veil minutes after dying de-aged to sixteen and they bond and finish the war together. I actually need to update this one.

Path to Recovery (404)- Sirius/Harry After the war, Harry raises Teddy in the muggle world and he truly begins his path to recovery when Sirius returns from the veil ten years later.

Soulmates (307) - Sirius/Harry Soulmate AU One Shot for Sirry stockings in 2021.

LOL - Over 100 fics for Prongsfoot (of my 187) and ALL 5 are Sirry. It's probably because they've been up longer, but that's too funny. Although number 6 is Rebuilding :) Which is Prongsfoot.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes, as long as they aren't hate, I make a point to say thank you or engage with questions or discussions.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh god. I'm not sure - I like Happy Endings, but I would say either -

72 Cemetery - Sirius/James with James having died and Sirius trying to say goodbye to the tune of "Give Heaven Some Hell" since that whole being at a cemetery saying goodbye to the love of your life is angsty as hell.

A Dream Come True - Trevor focused Ghosts AU. Based on discussions and comments, while I thought it ended on a positive - they have futures again - vibe, the idea that the ghosts would go their separate ways because they are alive again was angsty rather than happy. I maintain that the ghosts gaining their freedom and a second chance to chase dreams as a happy ending.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Well, all of my fics have happy endings. But, the happiest?

Rebuilding - Sirius/James - it was the first of a series, but the ending with them getting together and a hopeful future (which is seen in the next pieces of the series) feels the most happy to me.

The Gentlemen's Club - Trevor/Hetty - this one had a very fun time for them as they got to travel and the ending leads to the chance for more traveling and coming out to the house, which feels happy and hopeful to me.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I have - I usually complain to my friends on Discord and delate the comment. I always say "If you LIKE it, please let me know" - I absolutely do not understand who hates on what fic writers do in their free time for no money. And I wish those people would stop - although it doesn't happen often, it can truly kill motivation and it makes me want to hit something.

9. Do you write smut?

Yes. I have entire fics that are just smut - not even just one-shots! I am still writing Peaceful Life which is a Sirius/Harry smut fic and I have started a fic entitled "Trevor's Horny Jail" that will pretty much be all smut.

10. Do you write crossovers?

I have written one Different Magic, Sam Found Family- it was for HJP week this year - HP/Once and I intend to write a couple of other HP/Once fics. I love Emma and I think her and Harry would be great together given their similarities.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

God, I hope not.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Someone has asked, but I don't know if they ever did.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I want to co-write a 'Read the Books' story with someone on discord, but we haven't talked about it in a while.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Oh, god. There's so many ships in the world, but I guess I'd have to go with Sirius/James - Prongsfoot. I mean, I have written (IN THE LAST YEAR, ALONE) over 100 fics for them and intend to catch up on ALL of the microfics prompts, write those longer fic ideas, and join in on Prongsfoot Bingo so...

I mean, seems obvious that they must be my favorite, I think.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

Probably that PLL rewrite. Damn it, I had to stop thinking about it and fixate on something else because It's just so hard to balance having six mains - the storylines that were good (and I wanted to keep) and make sure I don't give any plotholes. SPECIALLY with the hell that is never-ending November and fixing that. I still want to write it, but I don't have anyone to talk about it with so it's easy to let it fall into the abyss. Especially I haven't started posting it.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I love a good timeline. Like if you read my fics, you will always be able to follow the timeline and not get confused.

Additionally, I think I'm pretty good at writing emotionally charged scenes with comfort at the end. Mainly the comfort.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm obsessed with timelines - so it can easily screw me up if I got lost in - wait, what day is it? Did that already happen? And having to reread and confirm one way of another and then totally fall off track.

I also tend to be too wordy. I focus so much on gushing happiness that I pepper in probably too much fluff that isn't really needed.

In RFTV, we're 14 chapters in and we're only just now getting to the end of the summer and it's been like 72K. Because I like the bond and building that, but I probably put too much bonding in there - and hot damn, man that's a lot of words.

Additionally, sometimes I lose the plot in the fluff. And forget that it isn't just fluff.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

Oh, uh, I don't do it unless it's something easy like Ciao - everyone knows Ciao or Hola - to me, I would only do it if it's obvious what the word is without knowing the language. If I have to look it up (writing or reading) I'll just get annoyed.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

H2O just add water. I've got 2 fics on FFN.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Oh, god. I don't think I could pick just one, but currently - Probably Mirror Talks - it started off as a one-shot for Sirius and Harry Saturday on Tumblr and it literally spiraled into basically Sirius raising Harry fifth year and beyond semi-canon compliant re-write of books 5, 6 and 7. I get to hash out my issues with those books and I get my favorite genre of story - Sirius raising Harry (no wolf star).

AHHH this was very interesting to answer. Thanks again!

Tagging ummm. @wembly @padfootastic, @roalinda and @creative-girl No Pressure!

[a-shakespearean-in-paris]

Favorite Passages of 2020

thought I’d start a new tag for writers for the end of the year--favorite lines/ passages written. There might be a tag like this already but hey I felt like taking a trip down memory lane. I feel like this year has seen me grow a lot. I finished 3 WIPs from 3 different fandoms and decided to make a part 2 of a previously finished fic. What a year, what a year, am I right? Fic writing has certainly made the days easier, made me happy and taken my mind off of situations. 

Obviously the year isn’t over yet maybe something will overtake this, but I felt like taking a trip through memory lane. Also, number five has some light smut.

tagging @laraslandlockedblues @ma-sulevin @kemvee @galadrieljones @thevikingwoman @jentrevellan @wardenari @roguelioness @idrelle @cartadwarfwithaheartofgold @queen-kass-the-writer @ellenembee

1. Only Lovers, Resident Evil, Leon S. Kennedy x Ada Wong

She laughs to herself. One moment, they told each other last night. And this is it. They were fools. They’re still fools. Happy, sated, blissful fools. And lovers.

And yet, it’d be cruel not to tell him, to let him live in an illusion. 

“You don’t love me,” she whispers. “you love the me you think about when you’re lonely.” 

“Not lonely now.” 

He glances at her with a mischievous, knowing look. “Neither am I,” she tells him, and she even plays the part, tells him she loves him too. They’re only lovers now, after all. 

“You didn’t have to say that,” he says. “I know what’s true.”

“Then what’s true?” 

He rises, faces her. He cups her cheek, caresses her face. He follows with a gentle kiss.

“Now,” he whispers. “Us.”

***This is from my one shot of Leon and Ada from the Resident Evil games. I played the game over quarantine and my twelve year old feels for the femme fatale and hot agent reignited, so I wanted to tribute that. Now I like Leon and Ada vastly more than Leon and Claire because I just find it more interesting--but beyond that I really wanted to explore an enemies to lovers relationship. They’re on two different sides of a war but they can’t help that attraction and pull, and I just like the idea they kind of see each other sometimes and release some tension, though both skirt around the idea of love. I like this passage because it encapsulates their tense yet dynamic and even romantic pull. Plus when I wrote “you don’t love me, you love the me you think about when you’re lonely” I just felt really powerful and badass, and I collect badass lines that come to my head for future wham lines in my writing, and I am 90 percent sure this was one such line. Either that or it came to me as I was writing, but I honestly don’t remember. 

2.  Love Song on Sapphire Isle, GOT, Jaime x Brienne

From the palace, there’s a strum of a lute, the sound intermingling with the crash of the waves that’s melodic and lulling. They stand side by side, listening to the song—a love song, though Jaime says she is his love song, his greatest adventure.  And she wraps her arms around him, and tells him he is her love song, and her later. Though now, she thinks her later has turned into an always.

***This is from my Jaime and Brienne longfic, a pseudo fix it that really just made me feel better after how disappointed I was with where they took Jaime and Brienne’s arc in the show. Come on George make them each other’s true love in the books I know you are prove those people who can’t read subtext wrong In the fic the term “later,” is part of their romantic dynamic, Jaime and Brienne always telling each other there will be time for romance later before the battle. then they get their later and and they’re stuck in a rut, not knowing what exactly to do. The last chapter, a snap shot of their “later,” years after the penultimate fic chapter, shows the life they’ve built. I tell my kids in my class that their final lines in a paper should pack a punch, and I think with everything that happened in the fic and the idea of later, it was the perfect final line. 

3.The Sweetest Sorrow, RDR2. Arthur Morgan x Charlotte Balfour

Come back, she said to him, sitting by their favorite spot in the clearing by the water. I know what you said, and I accepted it, but it is not easy to be the one that waits. It’s not fair that I am always the one that waits. These men in old stories, men like Arthur who masqueraded as an outlaw but were also knights, thought they had the harder duties. Charlotte, though she would always sing for Arthur and the good man underneath that always won over the evil bad man he claimed to be, was tired of singing songs of those men. She sung praises for Penelope and other women like her, the waiters. She sung for herself and her strength, and waited for the day when she could show him again just how strong she was, as strong as him. If only he would come back, one more time. She made sure to pour longings and promises in their parting kiss after he said that she gave him his dream. She kissed him to woo him back.

“Come back,” she said, and she hoped the wind carried her prayers. Come back to me Arthur, she wrote on her journal in her lap. She prayed that her longing, tangible in the words she wrote and spoke would make him stronger, beat that vile thing that had made it’s way into her once proud man and withering him. If he came back and it turned that he had given her his ailment, they could be brave together. She was tired of being brave alone. She was good at being alone, but that didn’t mean she had to endure it.

Come back.

Arthur was made to believe he was alone, and he had to be alone with his ailment. She couldn’t rely on their last conversation, her last kiss to him. Once he was away from her she knew his duty and self-sacrifice would win. Why, why did she not go with him, why did she allow herself to think she had to be the one that stayed? If she was his equal, she would have showed him.

Come back.

He wasn’t alone. He could find a way back to her once everything was fixed, but nothing could ever become truly fixed. Would he remain and remain, hopelessly fixing until he became too frail and withered? She knew him. He would. He was too much of a good man, especially now.

Come back.

It wasn’t that she wanted him to be selfish. She wanted him to be true to himself. But that man was wrestling with a giant called doubt.

Come back.

The wind blew her journal to the last few dozen pages. She hadn’t realized how worn it was before, how the binding was tearing and the pages weren’t sticking to the spine as they used to. Come back, she wrote. Come back to me Arthur. Again and again, she wrote, more furious than the last, her hand flying through her remaining blank pages. The wind was strong, and before she could catch one of the pages that ripped out, she could only watch as the wind ripped it’s away across the stream. More pages began to fly from her journal with all the same messages, come back, come back, Arthur come back, don’t leave me in this dark, cruel place where I can’t find you. Some fell in the river, some were carried to the clearing behind her.

She lost all her blank pages. She didn’t mourn.

“Come back,” she said once more, for the final time. “Come back.”

***So I stopped updating this fic in 2019 because I lost the muse. Frankly too I spent the bulk of writing this story in an unhappy mood, and I associated a lot of my feelings of the time when I thought about going back. however, wanting to replay RDR2 made me fall for Arthur all over again, and made me want to come back to this world, so I reread it and tidied it up and went back. I found I no longer associated the fic with my mood at the time and could appreciate it as it’s own thing. The meta of this section and why I’m found of it is that the idea of blank pages is associated with Arthur and Charlotte’s relationship.  they want to write a story together and fill up their blank pages together. Plus I am just very attached to the image of Charlotte writing in a journal and the pages getting lost in the wind. Also love the literary references and allusions in this fic, and you can see that here. Truth to be told i think this is one of my technically best fics for it’s consistency and build. Also, Arthur lives.   

4. Memoirs of a Long, Long Time, Morrigan x Warden

Rowan had no shame. Once outside the blacksmith’s, he took Morrigan’s hand, leading her out by the water. He held up his hand to Alistair, Leliana and Sten, promising it would be one moment, and one moment only.

“Yes?” she asked, with a dollop of sugary sweetness

He didn’t play games. “Why are you acting like this?”

“Why are you?” she fired back. “We are here for the Arl, not to save the entire village."

“Look around,” he told her. “Who will help these people if I do not?”

“Yet to accept a kiss? From that woman? Shall we keep our list? Leliana, that girl in the chantry, the tavern wench…me….”

He didn’t care if Alistair, Leliana, and Sten were all watching. “You know what I feel for you is different,” he muttered.

“Oh? Is it?”

“Shall I kiss you now to prove it?”

“But I do wonder if you would, gallant knight from a story book? You—”

He took her hand and pulled their bodies closer together, her words disappearing. “Am I a knight, or rogue?” he asked her. “No. I’m a Grey Warden.”

She bit her lip, mesmerized by his. Oh, to have done it then before battle, in front of his companions.

It was a nice thought, but it wasn’t what he wanted.

“I won’t kiss you now,” he said, “though a kiss before battle is what the bards sing of. I’d rather wait to kiss you when you aren’t so…salty. Kisses taste better that way.”

The temptress, Witch of the Wilds smiled, both agreeing with him, and knowing he did indeed want her lips and her lips alone. She stood by his side in battle, and then stood by his side come morning when the village remained. When Bella thanked him again after they came to the tavern with for complimentary glass of mead—a small reprieve before they would head to Castle Redcliffe— Morrigan said nothing and merely stood by his side, her arm pressed against his. When his mead sat untouched on the counter after a few sips, she took his glass and took a sip.

“I suppose I am to wait till after we storm the castle?” she asked.

“If I find a small grotto to take you. I hear kisses happen only in beautiful places.”

“Then we should do it anywhere you are.”

He flushed with vanity. He knew he looked tired, with dark, purplish circles under his eyes and scraggly hair that was growing out, though at least it had some wave to it. He lost weight as well, as his cheeks were hollower. His beard was growing as well, and he knew soon he would need to trim it. Frankly, he looked like what he was: a tired man who slept in the woods and was forced to settle every squabble in Redcliffe Village. And yet the Witch of the Wilds, who looked at radiant as she did when he first met her, would have him anywhere. She liked him as he was: tired and frankly annoyed.

He took one last sip of mead before suggesting they meet Teagan. After that, he would be one step closer to his kiss.

Or, not.

***I always wanted to write Morrigan x Warden. I was so close to making the Warden in In Waking Dreams a male that romanced Morrigan and had Kieran with her, but I chickened out and went with what I was most familiar with, a female Cousland who romanced Alistair. Well, 2020. Time to do the creative things that once scared me lol. If I had the will I’d rewrite IWD just to stick in Morrigan and Rowan, but that would be too hard and mess with the timeline, of Cullen and Lyd’s relationship, because the hero of Ferelden is Hawke’s Warden contact in this fic, and there’s no way Rowan wouldn’t visit his wife and son....I mean maybe I can do it but I don’t have the energy, I’d rather just keep IWD as it is, and I do like the Warden in that fic.

Anyway this fic reminds me a lot of a play---fitting because Rowan was once an actor. I really enjoy their dialogue and banter and I think Rowan’s knightish, charming ways come across in his dialogue. Also I’m proud of the way the story is told. It’s his memories, interspersed with the current time, also switches to Morrigan at Skyhold. ****

5. In Waking Dreams: Dragon Age, Cullen x Quiz

Lydia knew it immediately before he handed it to her, the book of Ferelden myths and legends, with the story of Cliodna, the Avvar priestess who roamed the world looking for her lover nestled within the pages. Lydia had a copy before, though different than the one Cullen handed to her. This was the one his mother held in her hands as she read to her children, the one that survived the Blight to be held in Cullen’s hands again, to be given to his lover.

“Cliodna and Concohbar,” Lydia said thumbing through the pages, captivated by the drawing of the long, dark-haired woman, reunited and swimming in the constellations with the man she loved, the final illustration of the book. Her gaze fell back to Cullen, his expression soft.

“Us,” she said.

“We’re us,” he said. “But they do remind of a certain couple I know.” He caressed her face. “We’re in the same constellation, you and I.”

They couldn’t wait. They made love upstairs in his room, the book safely tucked away on his dresser. He sat on the edge of the bed, peeling off her clothes one by one, slowly and savoring each new patch of revealed skin. He pressed a kiss to her belly as she stood fully nude and himself still clothed—though she helped him rid himself of his shirt as he kicked off his boots and pushed down his trousers and smalls. She sat on his thighs, slid her hands down his body, filled herself with him to the brim. He wrote love letters of a happy birthday on her body, made her come against his hand as she thrust herself down and back upon him, riding his thighs as his calloused hands dug into her hips. Moonlight spilled through the gap in his roof, creating her favorite painting—one of a reverent, loving Cullen—a slight Commander to him in the way he whispered how good she felt, how her want was leaking on him, but unquestionably he was her Cullen.

She spoke his name, a chant and prayer stronger than one she ever prayed to the Maker, his arms wrapping around her and grasping as he shuddered and came, pouring inside of her, resting his head against her beating heart.

“My darling,” she said, covered in both their sweats. “My love.”

“Be honest,” he said against her breasts, peering at her. “Would you have preferred our secret place, something else today? You said you wanted quiet.”

She stroked his bearded face, tousled his hair. “What you all did was perfect. And you coordinated it?”

“Mostly Josephine. But I had some ideas.”

She grinned. “Darling. You have given me the happiest of days.”

***Well, I always wanted to continue IWD, just got caught up in other fandoms. Plus I didn’t think I was ready yet. Believe me I tried but I had no clue where to start. Well, I finally learned: Lydia’s birthday, Cullen throwing her a party. Actually I do enjoy this whole chapter--it’s Lydia and Cullen being romantic and fun and throwing out their pet names, the two just enjoying each other as they are. It’s so refreshing to see them happy and not uptight in a canon fic, because oooh boy rereading the fic and getting back into the world made me realize just how damn dramatic they are, lol. And I wouldn’t have it any other way, we high drama here or we go home. Anyway, really happy to be back, like over the moon even, and I had a reader tell me my writing has improved since I finished in 2018. So, it was quite nice to hear, quite affirming.******

Part of me has never gotten rid of my innate flowy language, but I do think I have improved with just saying what I need to say with no embellishment at certain points. 

[astriiformes]

2020 Fanfic in Review Meme

Nabbing a blanket tag from @lightdescending​ because while I’ve already done some analysis of my fic writing last year I feel like it’s been helpful/encouraging, so why not hop on board?

What fic did I disgorge from my brain maw this year?

Just one! But also, a long one, and also one that’s been super important for my growth as a writer, tbh. The fic in question is I Breathed a Song Into the Air, a Legolas-centric LotR fic and my answer to the nearly complete dearth of stories that explore ace and aro identities while still having complicated plots and being longer than oneshots. And oh boy has it turned out to be longer than a oneshot. At 24,781 words and counting there is a decent chance it may end up being the longest thing I’ve ever written whenever it finally get finished.

Takeaways from reflecting on your kick-ass writing, or kick-ass lack of writing, during a year more focused on survival than perhaps any other:  

Turns out that I can, in fact, write long stories under the right circumstances, and should actually because they’re what’s actually interesting to me. I think I’ve been letting my frustration over certain abandoned projects convince me I am not cut out to write longfic, even though longfic is what I want to be writing (which, in turn, has kept me from writing any fic at all, since all the ideas I actually want to explore won’t exactly fit into 2k oneshots). I’ve learned a lot about what makes it possible -- for example, I Breathed A Song has an emotional core I feel really strongly about in its aspec themes, which has kept me dedicated to it and tells me one of the keys is figuring out which stories have resonant thematic elements, not just interesting plots, to keep me working on them. But in general just... getting back into the world of tackling multi-chapter stories has felt so good, and that’s worth chasing in and of itself, honestly.

Beta readers save lives. Like, holy hell. I know I’m extra lucky I can foist the majority of my fic ideas on @scribefindegil, who I live with, and thus get some significant bonuses to the experience (like being able to hand her my laptop and talk over bits I’ve just written\, or being offered bribery toffee...) but I also have come to realize just how much helpful feedback, having someone to brainstorm and research with, and even just having someone say “No, really, it’s good!” help me and I should absolutely reach out to other people about it, too.

Sometimes I just need to put a story down -- and relatedly, sometimes I just need to toss parts that aren’t working and come back to them later. Both feel like wasting time and I struggle with them, but they produce better writing in the end. See my erratic update schedule for my current longfic, or the oneshot I started in November that I though would be a “quick last fic of 2020″ thing and am instead only just picking up again.

Most surprising fic you wrote this year: 

Again, just the one! But I’ve surprised myself so much with it that I feel like it wins the title by more than just default. It’s exciting to know I’m capable of writing something like it and that gets the comments it does, and I hope it’s the first of many fics I get to feel that way about.

How you’ve grown as a writer this year: 

I’ve gained a lot more confidence! I feel like I’m realizing I can actually write the kinds of stories I want to -- both in technical capability and wordcount, and in the sense that I’m committing to writing stuff that I care about, even if it might have a much more niche audience. In fact it’s been pretty cool to see that even when I do pour a lot of effort lengthy things that are likely to have a smaller readership (which I worried about not because I’m vain but because positive feedback is what fuels me most as a writer and I was worried I’d lose steam without it!), the return is still pretty incredible -- I might have fewer people reading my stories, but the ones who do are so sweet and engaged!

What’s coming in 2021:

More of I Breathed a Song Into the Air! I have a lot of story left, but I’m plodding away at it again -- Chapter 7 is even slowly coming into shape already. I really look forward to sharing more of this story with you all

The aforementioned “was going to be a November oneshot but then turned into a project for future Nate,” which is a Back to the Future story that’s likely to be well over 10k and which I would describe with the mantra I so often repeat on this blog of “Marty McFly trans”

A likely companion fic to the last one that I think would compliment it in some really solid ways, but I feel like I can’t commit to that until I’ve, you know, actually finished the first one.

I am sitting on a mountain of LotR fic ideas and practicing restraint, but I’ve been outlining some plot stuff for one in particular that I would call a Gandalf character study that is not exactly about Gandalf.

I am trying not to open the Pandora’s Box of writing two longfics at once but tumblr has loved my multimedia LotR road trip idea so much that I am now dangerously toying with it as a mid-year project if I’ve made a good bit of progress on my other one. It’s high on my list, at least.

Lastly, a mystery fic! By which I mean I signed to offer either a LotR or Critical Role fic for the Fandom Trumps Hate auction this year and thus, depending on the whims of bidding, will probably have another story from one of those two fandoms before the year is up, but I don’t know exactly what it will be yet. Either way, I think it’ll be fun to tackle.

Taking a cue from where I grabbed this and extending the tagging to anyone who wants to participate!

[augustheart]

1, 9, 15, 20 for the writing ask meme!

This time around all of these are for fics by the way.

1. Tell us about your current project(s)  – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

Like I said in the last ask at any given time I have a stupidly high number of projects I’m working on but I will take this time to talk about the ridiculously long one I’m putting most of my energy toward now! (The tab is open right now and it is taunting me with that “last updated yesterday at [...]” notification and its 32,427 word wordcount.)

I won’t say exactly what it’s about even though it’s not that hard to figure out and several people already know exact details but progress is generally pretty good! Not the fastest I’ve ever written because I write in fits and starts but it’s going pretty good! (Just jinxed it though for sure.) I’m working on chapter five of a planned ten, and I really hope I don’t overshoot that by accident. It’s fun! It’s definitely more like the things I used to write when it comes to like... the actual angst/“whump” part because there’s a lot of that here, and I’m very really mean to readers with a couple of these cliffhangers. Chapter two and chapter four are especially rude, sorry.

I love all of it. I love that I get to write about people overcoming hardship and coming together and also beating the shit out of people who hurt their loved ones. I genuinely love what I’m writing now and I think it’s probably one of my best works and I’m glad that I decided to write it all out in advance before posting it because I feel like that gives me time to really perfect it. It also makes it easier to go back and seed plot elements through the prewritten chapters, which is helpful because I keep forgetting about a character and going back to make sure that they get to be there because they’re, y’know, the main protagonist of the show. (Don’t worry there is still a character arc and a story she has, it just gets lost in the shuffle a little because there are like... six storylines going on at once that need to intersect. I think six, anyway. There are a lot. Jeez, I think it may be closer to seven, counting the villains...)

Anyway please [Eric Andre “let me in” voice] show me support when I finally post it because I imagine the fandom will be relatively in brumation when I finally do all things considered. 

9. Are you more of a drabble or a longfic kind of writer? Pantser or plotter? Do you wish you were the other?

I refuse to write really short things, it has to be at least 1,000 words for some reason, but I do both! I prefer my longfics, I think they give me more time to write plot and flesh out characters, but I’ve found that a good median wordcount for me is...like...6,000 words? That’s usually what I fall on when I limit myself to something under 10,000 that has the potential for more than just 1-2,000 words. But I do like to read and write both! As evidenced by some of my current projects shaping up to be over 50,000 words at least if they haven’t already left that count in the dust by now (hi, Half Light, you stupidly long son of a bitch). 

And I am the hellish combination of both! I usually know at least how I want it to end, but the entire journey from A to B is a complete mystery to me. Sometimes I’ll have elements I want to incorporate or characters I want to include and I’ll plan for them but I will never, ever write down my outline. The only time I write down outlines it’s when I need to know the concrete timeline for something that’s set in the past or is taking major divergent choices or both (i.e., I made a timeline outline for Heartless leading up to when Eric approaches Dorothy, a timeline outline for Two of Spades when I eventually actually work on that, a timeline outline for what I nicknamed the “I’m no longer baby I want power AU,” etc). Literally every other time I am absolutely flying by the seat of my pants. I don’t know what I’d do without Hedgi who helps me plot at least half the things I write (at least for the fandoms she’s also in), usually after I try to write them and immediately get stuck like a puppy who tried to jump into a lake and found out the shoreline was actually just a bog.

15. Which is harder: titles or summaries (or tags)?

Oh, it really depends. I’m alright at nailing tags down, unless there are categories I want to use that don’t already have a set tag, but sometimes when I think of the concept for a fic it comes ready-made with a summary and I don’t have to think about that at all, or I’m directly inspired by a phrase/lyric/etc and I can just use that for the title and spend hours deliberating on a summary. Luckily for the project I’m working on now the conceit can just be the summary, and the title took a tiny bit of research but I knew what I wanted the bare bones to be and I just needed the actual names/terms. I do think in general, though, summaries are a smidge harder than titles for me. 

12. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

I really, really want to answer this one to talk about the different hidden references, relationship development, and foreshadowing that I baked into damn near every level of the big project I’ve been talking about because it’s in literally everything right down to the chapter titles (and there’s a hint to pay attention to them when you read, especially once we get to chapters 6-10, which I am extremely pumped to write), but I also really don’t want to spoil anything, so... time to be as numbingly vague as possible, I guess.

I’m foreshadowing that a character will develop powers by the final act, of course, but I’m also foreshadowing that a different character will not only develop them but use them to basically save the life of another character--and related to that, there is intense foreshadowing of a character using certain things to save someone else’s life at around the same time, which is not subtle at all if you know what you’re looking for (mainly because I slipped it into plain sight) but is part of some nice red herrings if I do say so myself. It also really makes me laugh that I decided to do some, um, “homophobia-shadowing,” where I just... imply that a character is homophobic. I dunno why I just think that’s a funny thing to do even if it has real repercussions for certain characters later. 

There’s some character development mixed that I’m really excited for because it allows a character to go in a completely different direction than they do in canon but in a way that I think still feels really right for them. This happens a couple times, actually, but this one in particular is something I knew had to happen the second I realized how to tie this plot thread back into everything else. I think it’s exactly what the character could’ve needed if this had gone down and I’m really excited to write it. The other character should’ve just been allowed to do this in canon because I think it would’ve fucking ruled.

Also, in everything I write that’s comics-based, whether it’s fic for the comic directly or for a show/movie using comics as source material, everything is a reference. That number code? That could be anything from the first time someone appeared in a comic mixed with the publishing date of the comic itself (i.e. if someone appeared for the first time in 1964 but the comic began publishing in 1959 I’ll use 6459 or 5964) to the creator’s date of birth. I think that I use famous writers of the character/potential creators of the character as street names or last names or aliases whenever I need to bring them up is a lot more obvious. Same with how I use writer/artist initials as “random letters” if I think a code would realistically have one mixed in--I just checked a document for an example of this and found “ADBP5519MWGK6419.”

I also reuse direct lines of dialogue if I think they fit the situation--for example, in Butterfly Effect I lifted the “World War I chic” line directly from Giffen’s Doom Patrol run, which I mentioned in the author’s note, and there’s dialogue in my current big project that’s a direct reference to/play on the “I wish you’d died instead of Mom” line in the JSA Infinite Crisis tie-in (Johns is a fuckin’ hack for that one though and it made no sense for what he used it for, a better line would’ve been “I bet you wish I’d died instead of Mom,” but we don’t have time for that), and I’ll probably directly reference dialogue from JSA/JSA at some point in chapter nine or chapter ten. (Think really hard about how that arc opens if it’s one you’re familiar with, lmao, and remember--there’s no time travel to undo things here!) 

[fencer-x]

Belated end-of-year fic meme

So, it’s already 2020, but I couldn’t technically post this meme until Erised reveals went up, so I’m posting it now! These are just some comments and discussions about the writing that I did this year. High word count, low fic output--that’s pretty normal for me!

GENERAL STATS

List of Fics Posted:

Fandom: Harry Potter Every New Beginning (141k, explicit; Eighth Year fic + time traveling) Pensieve For Your Thoughts (22k, explicit; pinch hit for HD Erised 2010, Eighth Year fic w/a fair bit of dubious consent going on)

Fandom: Promare spend some time with me (i really like your company) (73k, explicit [to be on the safe side]; canon re-write)

Total number: 3 Total word count: 236,239

Ship/character breakdown: Ship breakdown: [Harry Potter] Drarry, Hermione/Ron, Pansy/Parvati, and little tiny hints of other ships; [Promare] GaloLio, background implied Gueira/Meis

Characters that had the main focus: I'm happy to report I wrote from Draco's POV for the first time! My HP fics so far have all been Harry POV, so it was actually fun writing from Draco's POV, though I think most of my fics work better from Harry POV. Promare fic was from Lio's POV mostly because that's what the fic called for, and it was interesting--not sure if I'd go for that POV on the usual (update since I drafted this post: I think, strangely enough, I prefer Lio’s POV, as I’m well into fic #2 from his perspective). Promare fics focused, also, on Mad Burnish, which I really enjoyed writing (I'm much more of a Mad Burnish fan than Burning Rescue, so perhaps that's why XD)

Details

Best/worst title?

Best title: This is gonna be very subjective. I'm actually happy with all three of the titles?? I think Every New Beginning, though; because it's only after you finish the fic that you realize it's a (SPOILER ALERT) spoiler for the entire story. I like that little detail :D

Worst title: maybe spend some time with me (i really like your company)? I actually like the title, but it's a little bit OF a cop-out, just lifitng a line from lyrics, and it's difficult to google XD (update since I drafted this post: YOU FOOL, YOU’RE DOING IT AGAIN FOR YOUR NEW FIC NOW, WHY??? YOU CAN’T TRACK THAT)

Best/worst first line?

Best: I am far less comfortable with opening lines than closing ones. But I guess my favorite of these three is, /Kray Foresight liked to think himself a patient man./ The others are kind of generic, and it was interesting writing this bit from Kray's POV. Not a fun headspace.

Worst: /In retrospect, he should never have trusted a book that came from Pansy./ Not a terrible opener. Not an amazing one. In my defense, I was pressed for time when I wrote it, and I probably would've stewed over it a little longer to pick something with a bit more hook, but it did the job.

Best/worst last line?

Best: I'm satisfied with all of them, but I liked the entire epilogue of ENB, so the final line is probably my favorite: /He devoured his breakfast in record time, then Banished his tray and dishes back to the kitchen before tossing aside the duvet and padding into the bathroom to deliver his complaints about the turkey bacon to the chef in person./

Worst: It was tough finding a place to end the Promare fic that felt satisfying, so probably this one: /The distant whir of chopper blades whistling through the air grew louder and louder, and Lio leaned in to press his lips against Galo’s, lingering as long as he possibly could before whispering, “…Why don’t you start by teaching me how to ride a motorcycle?”/

General questions:

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, less than you thought, or about what you predicted?

More! Because if I'd gone by my original plan, I'd have completed precisely one (1) fic this year in Every New Beginning. I was well into drafting my next fic after that when I tripped headlong into the Promare fandom, and I was eager to get that fic out before fandom died down, so I poured myself into it. Then the Erised fic was a pinch-hit, so I wasn't expecting to write it at all.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year?

Well. Promare didn't exist last year, so 8D I also probably wouldn't have predicted I'd write any Pansy/Parvati and find it cute.

What’s your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest.

SSTWM, I think! I've had SO much fun with Promare so far, and getting to explore a slight twist on the canon, building out the Burnish society and delving into relationships I wished I'd seen explored further in the canon was really satisfying. I'm glad I wrote it.

Okay, NOW your most popular story.

...And it's also my most popular story this year, too, by pretty much every metric AO3 can give me: hits, kudos, and bookmarks (ENB has more comments, but it's also been out rather a lot longer). The Promare fandom is hot hot hot right now (no pun intended), so I expect that contributed.

Story most underappreciated by the universe?

Probably my pinch-hit right now, if only because I wasn't able to show it off when it got posted because of the Erised rules. It's also a one-shot, whereas ENB is a multi-chapter monster.

Story that could have been better?

Wish I'd had a bit more time to play with my Erised submission, but them's the breaks with pinch-hitting! I'm satisfied with how it came out, but me being me, I love writing longfic and would've wanted to make something more of it.

Sexiest story?

Pensieve For Your Thoughts, very much so :D

Saddest story?

Every New Beginning, definitely. It's not a sad fic, per se, but it's quite sad in places, and the overall plot is not a happy one. It has a happy ending, but you'll want to read the tags carefully before checking it out.

Most fun?

SSTWM, getting to flesh out the Burnish colony--LOTS of fun. Gueira and Galo's rivalry in particular was a hoot XD

Story with single sweetest moment?

I think this bit from SSTWM:

“But maybe I can do something a little more my style?”

“Your style?” Lio repeated, dubious, and Thymos brought a hand up, resting it just over his heart. Lio tried not to let his eye linger on the spangling of scars covering his bare arm—was he not freezing, nearly naked as he was?

“When I was recovering in the hospital after the fire Kray rescued me from, he used to come and visit me. Sometimes he’d bring food, or toys, or games—but this one time he brought me a book. It was about firefighters—firefighters from all over the globe, way back before the Great World Blaze, even. That’s where I learned about the ones from that Asian country, see. But there was this one chapter about firefighters from this huge city—looked a lot like Promepolis, actually—and it was so huge, there used to be thousands of these firefighters who worked day and night to keep it safe. And when someone wanted to join their ranks, they had to get up in front of all their peers and speak an oath.”

Lio held his breath, though he wasn’t quite sure why, and tuned every nerve in his body to Thymos in that moment.

Thymos closed his eyes, his hand still splayed over his heart. “‘I promise concern for others, and a willingness to help all those in need. I promise courage: Courage to face and conquer my fears. Courage to share and endure the ordeal of those who need me. I promise strength of heart to bear whatever burdens might be placed upon me, and strength of body to deliver to safety all those placed within my care. I promise the wisdom to lead, the compassion to comfort, and the love to serve unselfishly whenever I am called.’” He opened his eyes, fixing Lio in place. “I promise. All of it.”

Lio’s heart was thudding mercilessly in his chest, and he worried that if he opened his mouth to speak, it might just leap right out. He swallowed thickly to keep it in place and then rasped, “...Grand words for a glorified member of a bucket brigade.”

“Was hoping you’d be impressed I remembered it, after all these years.”

“I am,” Lio said, taking great pains to ensure his sincerity came through.

Hardest story to write?

Pensieve For Your Thoughts; I dislike anything resembling noncon, and while I'm satisfied with what I did, if I'd had more time, I would've found a workaround so the consent wasn't nearly as dubious. I think my recipient liked it, though, so all's well! I also find writing porn difficult, and that story was like 70% porn XD Why I did that to myself, we'll never know.

Easiest/most fun story to write?

Every New Beginning, especially all the bits of Harry and Draco getting closer; I love writing their banter, LOVE IT. I wish I could write a story that's nothing but banter. Someone pay me to do that please.

Did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters?

I love Lio, but we don't get too much characterization in the film; it was therefore kind of eye-opening writing from his POV. Of course no fan's characterization is going to be quite the same as what the creators might have imagined, but I still enjoyed what came out of it.

Most overdue story?

Eh, two of them weren't on any sort of deadline whatsoever, and I'm pretty sure I got my Erised piece in before the deadline! So we were good this year :)

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

I used NaNoWriMo as a 'goal' for finishing my Promare fic--I not only finished the fic, I also completed 50k of it during November, so I technically beat NaNoWriMo too! I learned that if I really want to hit a goal and feel like I have to, I have the complete and total capacity to do that. It's just a matter of will for me.

What are your fic writing goals for next year?

To finish my next Drarry fic, aka the one that was supposed to come after Every New Beginning but got pushed to the back-burner by the sudden insistent arrival of Promare in my life. I also want to write for Erised PROPERLY this year and organize a Promare fanwork event around the one-year anniversary :D

[eriisaam]

Plans to come, and an apology

You can probably already guess what the latter is about between my previous updates and all my writing posts being decidedly not Scars updates, but nevertheless I’m sorry. 

The shorter, tl;dr point to this post is:

- Scars of Time, while neither abandoned nor on hiatus, will end up possibly still being delayed just a bit longer than planned and is no longer as “definitely next” as once thought. It’ll come in due time, but there might be things to come before it does as to no longer hold them back just for Scars’ sake.

- The reasoning behind this is personal, unexpected, and interfered with Scars multiple times, hence why the numerous broken promises or plans going off course.

- There will definitely be one more thing related to my Kiransonas coming next due to it having a definite due date to work up to. Past that, it might be other Kiransona things, or might ease back into longfic chapters. 

- I might or might not be considering a major overhaul in my scheduling against what I used to do (aim for 1 written piece a week, regardless of what that piece ends up being) but I hadn’t quite figured out a definite plan yet. It’s to ease into having more variety of content and also in light of me slipping recently.

That more or less concludes the point of this, I just wanted to clear the air a bit.

For the more in-depth explanation of the context behind these decisions (which is much more rambly and long and was why I preface with a tl;dr)... 

For quite some time now, I’ve been considering to change my schedule in hopes of easing into other content besides just writing. One of the first things to interfere with Scars was I was initially attempting to squeeze in art, took longer than I anticipated it would take, and ended up not only not completing that art piece in time, but also not completing Scars either, nor having things to properly cushion the missing posting gap in the times I try to juggle different things at once. That isn’t to say doing art was the single, sole cause for why my writing schedule was slipping, but it was among the reasons contributing to thoughts about a schedule change to not constantly worry about rushing writing projects just to earn my way to buy time for other things all the time, at risk of burnout, my writing quality tanking, or like in the past few weeks, being empty-handed with very little to show for what I did.

So, my idea I was mulling over was I would possibly lengthen writing frequency to once every 2 weeks as the ideal goal to aim for. It wasn’t terribly strict before or after, but with a goal like that in mind, it hopefully won’t leave content going stagnant too long, and it gives me some form of timeframe to work up to without dropping the ball completely (with something like writing once a month, for instance).

With that said, burnout was another issue with Scars that I hesitated to admit to earlier and heavily underestimated it would be an issue. Initially, it wasn’t much of a factor, but having Scars routinely not quite work out as well as I hoped, getting increasingly to the point my mind draws a blank to open the document, let alone write it, and feeling like I’m constantly stringing people along to remind people time and again “I’m sorry guys, it didn’t come out this time, but next time for sure!”, it led to me suspecting heavily that in order to give it a better chance to get this chapter done, I need to step away from it and give myself time to clear my thoughts and finish other things first before coming back to it. 

Combined with some unexpected things happening in my life that I’m left sort of all over the place in mood and motivation, and combined with sudden spurts of inspiration and/or shift in focus of projects I took part in with more stricter due dates to plan for, and this is why I don’t see myself finishing Scars in a time that won’t obnoxiously lead to more broken promises for the rest of the month of it. I also feel like I might be pushing the other longfics unfairly to wait for a fic I’m not in the best mindset right now to finish even when I have motivation ready for them instead, and thus, why I felt it best to put my foot down and let it sit in a “when it’s ready” time-out now.

I’m sorry too for constantly making promises that end up breaking (and worse, repeatedly), but while I don’t intend to give up on anything in particular, I realize I might need more time to space things out and focus more on whenever the mood best fits over trying to stress too much on previous post dates or rotations as I previously did. I also understand too the longfics currently look concerningly stagnant, and I do plan to still continue them unless I give definite confirmation otherwise (and if that were the case, I will mark the fics themselves as well), but for now, I think I need time to vent or stray or just create whatever in whichever order, come what may of it.

Thank you all for your patience and understanding, I know it’s... a lot... orz

[anneapocalypse]

I haven’t been posting much in the way of writing updates here lately, so in honor of finishing the first draft, here’s a long-ish sneak preview of the Kimbalina longfic.

*

Kimball spots that aqua armor, motionless in the snow, and her heart does not stop, not quite.

After the disaster at Crash Site Alpha, it almost feels like it should.

*

Grif brings the bird down between the trees as best he can, as best anyone could really—there’s no clearing in the dense pines and they can hear branches snapping against the hull on the final descent. Steam billows up before the windshield, obscures the tiny window in the back hatch, where the heat of the Pelican’s engines meets the snow. 

There is still something about a winter-white landscape that puts Kimball on high alert. Snow means north, means high altitudes, means Federal strongholds in the mountains, Fed soldiers in their camouflaged white armor, the bright glare of danger every rebel in desert drab well knows.

Even now, with the truce, it gets her blood up. And the mountains are no less dangerous now—just from a different foe.

*

Tucker, Caboose, and Dr. Grey are clustered around Carolina, along with Donut, and someone else, someone in… purple armor? She’s too exhausted to figure out if she’s seen them before. Tucker seems to be focused on keeping Caboose from interfering, while Grey is focused on Carolina. Epsilon’s blue hologram glows above her still form. It is him—his distress beacon—that has brought them here, broadcast over Aqua Squad’s TEAMCOM, the Red and Blue TEAMCOMs, and Kimball and Wash’s private channels. 

Tucker, Caboose, and Dr. Grey have been on the ground searching for well over an hour—that she learned by radio—but the distress beacon only came active twenty minutes ago. Kimball’s team was already in the air, with Grif at the helm, making their retreat, when the call came.

Carolina missing. The Key in the hands of the mercenaries. 

If Kimball wasn’t so bone-tired to the point of numbness, she thinks she’d probably be sick.

Wash has been at her side since they got the call, peering through the hatch window, both of them sort of self-consciously keeping just enough distance not to block the other’s view. A strained courtesy that Kimball nonetheless appreciates from Wash. He’s a hard one to read—always in armor, rarely unhelmeted in public, even less than Carolina, though Kimball has seen him in the mess enough to know him by his face. His presence here at her side is a terse silence.

But when the hatch drops, Wash lurches forward before it touches the snow.

*

Wash makes all of Blue Team gathered around Carolina, and even Sarge and Simmons quickly follow.

“Stand back, please!” Dr. Grey chirps, in the deceptively cheerful tone Kimball has come to recognize as nothing less than a medical Command voice, and learned to obey quickly, because whatever else Emily Grey may be, she is no fool when it comes to medicine. “Gentlemen, I’m going to need a team lift here.”

“Is it safe to move her?” Wash asks, hovering. His posture now radiates anxiety.

“Would I have said it if it wasn’t?” Grey retorts, a bit shortly. 

“Right,” Wash says, and without another word moves into position by Carolina’s head. 

“Caboose, you take her legs,” Tucker says, “but don’t move until Dr. Grey says.”

“No moving,” says Caboose.

“Until Dr. Grey says.”

“Until Dr. Grey says… what?”

“Caboose, go get in the back of the Pelican and wait for us there.”

“Okay!” says Caboose and trots off.

“Is she going to be all right?” Kimball asks desperately, unable to restrain herself any longer.

“Oh, sweetie,” Dr. Grey says, eyes never leaving her medical scanner. “I’m a genius, not a psychic! That depends on a whole variety of factors outside my knowledge or control! Why, any of us might die tomorrow!”

She will not take a swing at the Fed doctor. Today is not the day. Who knows what tomorrow will bring. Kimball isn’t psychic either.

“Her vitals are strong,” Grey continues blithely, “and I don’t see any signs of spinal injury. That’s about as much as I can tell you without more equipment, which is why we need to get her back to base as quickly as possible!”

“Watch her head,” Epsilon says tensely. “Be careful.”

“I’ve got her,” Wash says.

Kimball’s hands flail helplessly. “Can I—”

But she isn’t needed. The Reds, Tucker, and Wash have Carolina up and shuttled in the back hatch and laid flat on the floor, at which point Grey cheerfully orders everyone out of her way. Donut hops into the copilot spot and the rest of them grab crash seats—Kimball remains standing—and with a roar of thrusters they lift off again through the trees.

There’s something strange and terrible about being surrounded by the Reds and Blues in near total silence.

*

It’s a long flight back to Armonia. Too long. Long enough for Kimball to tie herself in knots.

Nothing good waits for her back in Armonia. The survivors of Crash Site Alpha, with no time to mourn their losses, because they have to re-mobilize immediately, because things are only going to get worse from here, because Doyle—

Doyle.

The thought of another strategy meeting, now, after all of this—it just makes her want to start screaming.

*

Grif lands them on the roof of Armonia General, and Grey sends Tucker inside for a gurney. At least the elevators are running.

She should be following her. Should be at Carolina’s side while Grey wheels her off, Epsilon’s agitated light still hovering over her silent form. Should be there when Carolina wakes up.

But she has to be there for her people, first. And Carolina…

Carolina might not want her there anyway.

Kimball feels a nudge at her shoulder, and realizes she’s blocking the hatch.

“She’s going to be okay,” Wash says.

Kimball feels frozen. She feels too exhausted to move, too exhausted to even form the words she should be saying.

���Kimball,” Wash says, looking her square in the eyes—well, in the visor, but even that’s rare enough for him. “She will be. It’s Carolina. She’ll be all right. Grey will take care of her.”

She can’t even force out a “Thank you,” as Grif lifts off the roof and pilots back to base. Kimball feels utterly drained, like her body might just collapse. When she thinks of Carolina’s body, fallen motionless in the snow, her stomach feels hollow. When she thinks of the dead at Alpha, all the bodies they had to leave behind—

she feels about to cave in, the hollowness become a sucking vacuum, trying to collapse her in on herself like a dying star.

*

The walk to the war room isn’t long enough. She can’t remember the last time she felt this heavy. Not even downtown with Doyle in her sights, when Felix’s voice came over the radio, broadcast to everyone on the planet.

Times like this, it’d really be nice to be able to collapse in an uncontrollable sobbing heap on the floor. Be nice to have a place to do that. But she cannot do that. She is Vanessa Kimball, General of the New Republic and… whatever she and Doyle are, of the United Chorus. She doesn’t think they’ve earned the title of co-leaders. That implies a level of cooperation they’ve yet to reach.

Maybe she could’ve done better. Offered more compromise. Damned if she can figure out where.

*

She veers off to the nearest restroom, mumbling something to Wash about getting some water. The clip Wash is keeping at her side on the way to the war room, she’s genuinely nervous he’s not going to let her out of his sight, and she understands why. Time is of the essence now, and she’s clearly a mess. But after an appraising look, Wash nods, and goes on without her.

Kimball ducks into the washroom and takes off her helmet, avoiding her own haggard reflection to bend over the sink and splash cold water on her face. The smell of it is sharp, mineral, metallic when she licks her lips.

Her stomach heaves, once, but she hasn’t eaten anything in many hours.

Kimball cups her hands under the faucet and takes a long, slow drink. 

She straightens up again, shakes off her hands. Puts her back to the wall and leans for a moment, letting just a bit of the weight off.

What do you fight for, Vanessa Kimball?

For a better tomorrow.

That’s worth it, even if—

She bites off the rest in her mind. No negative mantras today. She can’t afford it. She’s on the edge of collapse already.

What do you fight for?

Sometimes she goes through names of the dead. There are too many for one sitting, have been for years, but she whispers through them anyway when she sits, passing them like beads on a string. For Mom, for Sayuri, for Lene, for Olive, for Carter, for Jasmine, for Deidre, for…

This is not a day to name the dead. Not with so many more lost at Alpha. She can hope there will be time for that later. Maybe even time to visit the ruins of the temple and offer prayers.

That in itself is something to fight for. For a future moment to honor the dead.

To honor the dead. For a moment of peace.

She controls her breathing. She doesn’t count, not in numbers, but feels the rhythm of it behind her ribcage, filling her body, saying life.

What do you fight for?

For Matthews, Ganoush, Rivas, Velasquez, Turner, Cody, Mukerjea, Dawes, Liu, Bitters, Jensen, Palomo, Andersmith, Marri, and the names march on.

For her people. For Chorus.

And for Carolina, too. For Wash, Tucker, Grif, Simmons, Caboose, Donut.

Because this is, inexorably now, their fight. Because they’ve chosen to stay and fight too, to make it theirs, and there is no more escaping for them than for anyone else. So Chorus's fate is now their fate, too.

She breathes.

For a better tomorrow.

She steels herself, pushes off the wall and heads for the war room.

*

It all happened because they split up. In hindsight, Vanessa can see that. In hindsight, she can see a lot of things.

What she can’t see is how she could’ve stopped it, all of it, from happening.

*

[ahiddenpath]

Seven Years of Writing Fanfics

I’m being a little premature- I’ll celebrate seven years of writing as ahiddenpath in September- but I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what I’ve learned.  Please read on if you want to hear about the writing habits I wish I had when I started in 2012, and about the habits I wish I didn’t have back then!

I’ll also be talking about my writing plans in general.  Check it out below the cut!

1.)  Make a story bible.

A story bible is a reference document for your story.  Before you post a new fic, I strongly suggest creating one.  For digimon specifically, this means making some choices before you begin:

Which version of the character names will you use?  Do you intend to remain consistent with this choice?  For example, I’ve seen a lot of writers use Japanese character names and English digimon names.  Will you use official honorifics?  Custom honorifics?  Will you use terminology from one translation of the show, or a mashup?

Make these choices upfront, create reference charts, and remain consistent.  

After that, you can also keep references for topics such as characterization details (if you say that Bob’s favorite drink is coffee in one chapter and tea twenty chapters later, be prepared for a flood of comments pointing out the inconsistency), setting details, and anything that you don’t want to forget.  Spending half an hour hunting down a silly detail instead of writing is a huge bummer.

Growing Up with You is my worst offender of ‘problems a story bible would have fixed.’  It’s got... every issue you can imagine, lol!  For example, pairing Hikari with Gatomon (instead of Tailmon), using ‘digitama’ and ‘digimental’ interchangeably in the 02 arc, using the English terms for evolution stages while using Japanese names for other things, confusing Bakemon and Bakumon, it’s a mess.  It’s so bad that a complete, painstaking edit is the only thing that can fix it...  Which is enough to make me weep, given that the story is over 400K words long.

Organize yourself before you start.  Here’s a link to some printable Digimon Adventure and Digimon Adventure 02 references.

2.)  Avoid Longfics.

I know I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating.  NEVER PUBLISH A NEW STORY WITHOUT HAVING AN ENDING IN SIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING.

I’m not saying you can’t write huge, epic tales.  God knows I’m unlikely to stop doing that.  But, if I could go back in time, I would separate Growing Up with You into four fics.  It would be something like this:

Growing Up with You I: Childhood

Growing Up with You II:  Digimon Adventure

Growing Up with You III:  Liminal Space

Growing Up with You IV:  Digimon Adventure 02

I’m sure some arcs would be longer than others, but this way, I’d have four stories that are roughly 100K words long.  

A lot of folks just... don’t want to read a 400K story.  It’s intimidating, man!  Although it varies by genre, the average word count for a fiction novel aimed at adults is 80K words.  That 400K fic is like FIVE NOVELS, DUDE!!!!  That’s a commitment for readers!

Shorter stories are more reader friendly, but there’s also a huge benefit to you, the writer.  Separating your longfic into multiple stories allows you more opportunities to write towards an ending.  Breaking your story into digestible chunks decreases the writing paralysis that comes with being nowhere near the ending.  It also cuts back on meandering chapters that don’t carry the narrative closer to that ending.  Furthermore, thinking of the story in arcs before you start writing forces you to plan more...  Something I never did in 2012!!!!

Best of all, once you reach the end of an arc, you can take a break before launching the next one.  It’s hard on a writer to continue endlessly producing without a break.  It’s hard on a reader to hit the final available chapter in a fic and wonder if it will ever update again.  But if you complete an arc and take a break to plan and write a few buffer chapters, the tension and impatience is gone for your audience, and you get to breathe.  It’s a win-win!

3.)  Avoid long chapters.

Back in 2012, I often posted chapters that were 10K words and longer!  Here are some benefits to posting shorter updates more frequently:

-Shorter wait times between updates.

Let’s say your planned chapter is 15K words long.  I could update my story once in the span of a month, or I could break the chapter into three parts and update three times in a month!  This keeps readers happy and interested in your work.

Over time, you’ll develop the ability to create sub arcs/movements, finding spots to break them up into separate updates.  This also creates natural moments for cliffhangers, tension, and mini resolutions.  It’s a great way to insert more moods and movement into your narrative.    

-More exposure for your story.

Every time you update your fanfic, it gets pushed to the top of the update list on fanfiction.net or AO3.  The more you update it, the more hits your story will receive, thanks to all the extra time it will spend on the first page of newly-updated fics.

-Easier editing.

I do my best editing when I’m working with 5K words or fewer at a time.  Personally, I can only focus on close editing for about 90 minutes before I start missing mistakes and forgetting details.  I could edit a 10K word update in two sittings, but then it’s possible to forget about details and moods from the previous editing session!  So, unless your story bible is really hardcore, your editing process could benefit from shorter updates.

-More feedback/support

I have a few amazing readers who leave some form of feedback/appreciation for me whenever I post a new chapter.  A supported writer is a happy, productive writer!  More updates means more chances for feedback and support from your readers, which in turn can fuel and direct your writing!  Again, everyone wins!  (Thanks, guys, I love you!).

4.)  Publish your story on both fanfiction.net and AO3.

Why reach one audience when you could potentially reach two?  There are plenty of readers who only use one platform or the other.

At this point, it would be ridiculously difficult to post my 70+ chapter fanfics to AO3...  Do yourself a favor and post to both from the start!

5.)  Remember: writing and editing are two separate processes.

Guys guys guys guys guys.  Lemme be real here.

I used to painstakingly write a first draft, check for spelling/grammar errors on my word processor, and then post it.

Here’s what my process looks like now: word vomit a first draft, do an edit in my word processor, print the edited draft, make edits on paper, transfer edits to word processor, print new draft, make edits on paper, transfer edits to word processor, final read through, post

If my new method looks more time intensive...  In a way, it is, but in a way, it isn’t?  I bang out that first rough draft without a care in the world, where I used to agonize over every word.  Agonizing is not fun.  Word vomiting can produce some, ah, discouraging results, but it feels like creative play.  It’s fun, it’s flexible, it’s fast...  And you can fix it later through the magic of editing.  And if you’re having fun, you’ll keep writing.  If you’re agonizing, you’ll find yourself making excuses to avoid writing.

Plus, my current method produces tighter, more deliberate prose, while maintaining the freedom and energy of word vomiting...  And avoiding the angst and doubt.  This is my best defense against writing paralysis and my greatest weapon in the battle of producing words.

My method can’t be right for everyone, but I do encourage you to try it out, especially if your writing hasn’t been joyful lately.

6.)  Don’t run too many fics at one time.

I encourage writers to have one longer fic open and one shorter fic, preferably of different tones/settings/main characters.  This gives you a way to keep writing when you’re sick of one project without bogging you down.

You will likely have some readers who love everything you do (god bless), but many people have particular genre, character, and setting preferences.  If you have three fics open, then readers of any one story have to wait much longer for the next update while you alternate updating each fic.

And more importantly, having a ton of open stories just...  It feels heavy, guys.  It’s a weight, a pressure.  Trust me.  Forgive me, fanfic gods, for I have sinned.

7.)  Maintain a buffer

Okay, so my Nanowrimo project for 2018 was to write 50,000 words for After August, my current open fic.  By the end of the month, I had a roughly 80% complete first draft of the entire fic.  

Guys!  Guys!  It’s so cool to know exactly where the story is going, from start to finish.  My editing is so deliberate on this piece!  I can spot repetition and inconsistencies, since the draft is printed and sitting in front of me in a binder.  I can tweak emphasis and maintain more balance between character appearances.  It’s a whole new ballpark for me, someone who always wrote one update at a time and posted it upon completion (or worse, wrote ahead and lost the material when I changed my mind about the plot before reaching that future point).

Plus, even if my life gets extra busy or hard, I can still maintain my updating schedule.  I can print out a chapter, take it to work, and do hard edits during my lunch break (I realize that makes me antisocial, but have you ever endured coworkers telling you all of their problems while you try to eat a sandwich in peace?  The editing is much more fun.  I am antisocial, is what I’m saying.  Born into it, baby).

Regular updates are a big part of maintaining steady readership, so having a buffer both increases the quality of your work (since you know where the story is going for sure) and ensures that more people read it.  Awww yisssss.

Okay, well, my concentration is gone now, so that’s the end of my advice!  If I think of anything else, maybe I’ll add it?  

I do want to touch base with my writing plans, though.  Currently, of course, my goal is to complete After August.  If I can post one chapter per week, it will be compete in early March, but I’m going to aim for completing the story in May, to allow for any issues that might come up (for example, Kingdom Hearts III is coming out soon!).

After that, I want to complete Seeking Resonance...  Although I have no idea how long that will take?  I just know that the heavy atmosphere was really starting to weigh on me.

After that... Well, do you remember that survey I made a while back?  It looks like my next project should probably be completing Four Years.  

I might simultaneously work on one of these two stories and Tales of REM, or maybe I’ll alternate between SR and FY for a while?  To be honest, though, I would really like to wrap up SR as soon as I can.

Either way, completion is the name of the game this year.  Please look forward to it!  Let me know if you have any ideas for future fics, or if you have a favorite from my list of potential future projects!

[fmradio-johnnystation]

Writing wrap up of 2018

Wooooooooah 2018 passed so quickly?? ngl when this year started, I just wanted it to be over. But this year I got back into writing around May and I’m so grateful that I did! So here’s a little summary of my writing year.

Stats:

List of Fics Posted:

The game begin ; NCT ; Jungwoo/Lucas. 

Red as blood and green as seaweed ; Stray Kids ; Hyunjin/Seungmin Glow ; Stray Kids ; Hyunjin-centric Love is ; Stray Kids ; Hyunjin/Felix Storm and stars ; Stray Kids ; Felix/Jisung, Chan/Minho, Changbin/Hyunjin & Jeongin/Seungmin Of detention and makeout sessions ; Stray Kids ; Felix/Jisung Of locker rooms kisses ; Stray Kids ; Chan/Woojin Of studios and nose kisses ; Stray Kids ; Chan/Jisung Of palm kisses and chipped nailpolish ; Stray Kids ; Felix/Woojin Guess how much I love you ; Stray Kids ; Chan/Felix Of warm beds and morning coffee ; Stray Kids ; Chan/Minho Sharp fangs and blood stained hands ; Stray Kids ; Chan/Seungmin Dishes, vaccuum cleaners and soft kisses ; Stray Kids ; Chan/Woojin Twist and turn, moonchild ; Stray Kids ; Chan/Jeongin For as long as I am breathing ; Stray Kids ; Chan/Felix I’ll hold you as you bleed ; Stray Kids ; Chan/Hyunjin Take my hand and never let go ; Stray Kids ; Chan/Felix/Woojin Hocus pocus ; Stray Kids ; Chan/Felix Fuzzy socks, ugly sweaters and sweet ‘I love you’s ; Stray Kids ; Chan/Felix/Woojin 31 days of kisses ; Stray Kids ; multiple ships Twisted Souls ; Stray Kids ; Chan/Felix [Unannounced skz exchange fic]* ; Stray Kids ; TBA

*WIll update with tag and name later when the fic is announced.

Total number: 22 Total word count: 228.442 Ship/character breakdown:

I always try to vary the ships I’m writing to give content to all ships, even the small ones. But over this year I’ve come to love Chanlix a lot, so the ship I’ve been writing the most is Chanlix, Jilix being a close second.

Characters that had the main focus:

My top 3 of 2018 is: 1. Chan, who’s the main in 13 fics 2. Felix, who’s the main in 9 fics 3. Hyunjin, who’s the main in 6 fics

I’m obviously aussie line biased. Also I’ve realized that I really enjoy writing Chan for some reason.

Specifics:

Best/worst title?

Best: For as long as I am breathing. I have no idea why I like it so much, maybe it’s because I like the au so much but it just makes me happy when I see the title.

Worst: Red as blood and green as seaweed because ?? what ?? but since it was just a short thing I’m not gonna bother it hdhd

Best/worst first line?

Best: The moon was bathing the lush, green forest in its sickly white light as it slowly rose on the dark sky. - From Twist and turn, moonchild. I just really liked this one for some reason. It sets the mood really nicely imo. Worst: “You look nervous,” his father noted as their carriage was making its way towards the castle. - From For as Long as I am breathing. This is just... uGH like I don’t really hate it, it’s just that I wrote it just to get started with the whole fic and then I never went back to change it and it just feels kind of awkward.

Best/worst last line?

Best: The stories of the creature so twisted and the soul so kind. - From Twisted souls. I just really like this one, unclear why really. But I really enjoyed the last two paragraphs of this fic.

Worst: “Thank you for being my bodyguard.” - From Twist and turn, moonchild. Because... what? why and uGh no. I struggled with wrapping this fic up because I wanted to keep it short and I guess I just pulled smth out of my a ss to just end it.

Best/worst summary?

Best: This is the story about a creature so twisted by evil, who found their way home. - From Twisted souls. I really liked this one. Because it sort of gave some of the plot away, as a summary probably should do, but also kept to the more poetic vibe I went with for this fic.

I also really like: The sun rose, painting the sky a beautiful pink as it bathed the landscape in its warm light. In the comfort of his home, their home, Woojin awoke slowly, surrounded by nothing but love and warmth. - From Take my hand and never let go. Simply because this is one of few summaries that I actually wrote specifically to be summaries.

Worst: Vampire!Chan & Witch!Felix in a very domestic setting. - From Hocus pocus. I don’t really have a summary that I really dislike so I’ll just put this one here simply because it just stares the content and it’s pretty boring.

Favorite 5 lines from anywhere?

1. “You know what would be even better?” Felix asked and Chan hummed, lips still pressing against Felix’s skin and his hand came to rest on Felix’s thigh. “If you married me this winter.” - From For as long as I am breathing.

2. “I’ll chase the fear and the pain away, love,” he promised as Hyunjin let out a choked sob. - From I’ll hold you as you bleed.

3. “You’re no longer wilting away,” Felix’s whispered, stroking the back of his hand over Chan’s cheek. - From Twisted souls.

4. “And then they lived happily ever after,” he said, pressing his lips against Felix’s. - From Storm and stars.

5. But he was getting better. - From Glow.

General questions:

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, less than you thought, or about what you predicted?

Considering that I wrote 700 words last year, so for me to write over 200k... that was very unexpected.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year?

Stray kids because 1. I didn’t stan them last year and 2. I barely wrote anything last year.

What’s your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest.

I don’t... I don’t really know. All my three longfics are special to me but I think For as long as I am breathing or Twisted Souls takes the prize as my favorite... I think I’m gonna have to say For as long as I am breathing.

Okay, NOW your most popular story.

The most popular must have been Storm and Stars, but its also the oldest of my multichaptered fics. 31 days of kisses and For as long as I am breathing are both closing in on Storm and stars when it comes to the amount of hits.

Story most underappreciated by the universe?

TWISTED SOULS. But also like, its just recently been completed (and I know some people dont read unfinished fics), its a pretty underrated ship (so I guess not a lot read fics about them) and the tags + the word count might be a bit intimidating.

Story that could have been better?

[Redacted] could definitely have been better. I didn’t manage to get a full grasp of how I wanted the plot until it was maybe a bit too late and it ended up super rushed.

Saddest story?

Twisted souls probably. It deals with some pretty heavy things and yeah, it’s the saddest thing I’ve written this year.

Most fun?

hM.... Most of my fics are pretty serious or just straight out fluff and not really funny in that way. But... maybe Hocus pocus ? Unsure but that’s the funniest of my fics lmao.

Story with single sweetest moment?

For as long as I am breathing has a bunch of insanely sweet moments and I just love that au.

Hardest story to write?

Twisted souls but that’s mainly because of the fight scenes. I’m pretty bad at action so that was a challenge.

Easiest/most fun story to write?

For as long as I am breathing... That was insane. The words just came to me like poOF and it was so easy to write for me... why is very very unclear.

Did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters?

I don’t... think it did no. Not what I can come to think of.

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

I tried writing action, but that’s more of a challenge than a risk I guess. I don’t think I took any risks per say but I challenged myself a little with action. I’ve also tried to work on my descriptions, both nature and clothing. Not a risk, but a challenge.

What are your fic writing goals for next year?

Wips I really want to finish: - Sequel to For as long as I am breathing - “Suffer suffer scream in pain” aka a gore piece I’m working on - A new merboy fic

General goals - Get better at descriptions - Work on writing action scenes - Be a bit better at editing - Write around 300k - Start working on my own original piece

That was everything... I think! 2018 has been an amazing year for me, writing wise, but I’m a bit sad I didn’t get back to it earlier. However, the response I’ve gotten this year has been amazing  and I don’t have enough works to express my gratitude.

Thank you!

[dreameater1988]

Self Fic Rec Tag

When you get tagged, write down your favourite fics that you have written and tag other writers. I was tagged by @thatexactleaf

Okay, here we go. . .If you do go to read them for the first time, I would recommend AO3 because that is where the updated and proofread versions are. All of these are longfics ranging between 20 and 40 chapters.

1. Matters of the Heart After her boyfriend's death Clara Oswald takes comfort in the fact that a part of him still lives on and she seeks out the man who carries her loved one's heart inside him. John Smith would like nothing more than to resume his life like it was before the surgery, but he struggles to adjust and somehow he finds he has a soft spot for the woman who lost the man that saved his life. Will John find it in him to change or is Clara still not ready to let go and accept that just because they share a heart, it doesn't mean that they are the same? 

On AO3 or FF.net

2. Somewhere To Belong John Smith has been released from prison after 25 years and wants to get to know his son, whom he has never seen, by moving onto the same street and befriending him. His son's girlfriend Clara is giving him a warm welcome, but soon John fears that he and Clara are getting a little too close while uncovering the true crime for which he went to prison.

On AO3 or FF.net

3. Love Me Like You Mean It 1959. Dr John Smith moves to Texas with one goal in mind: to start over and forget about his past. When he meets Clara Oswin Oswald, a waitress and an outcast with a whole lot of buried dreams he thinks that she might be just what he needs to give his life some meaning. Diner AU.

On AO3 or FF.net

4. Summer of Love San Francisco. 1967. The Doctor is an eco activist known to chain himself to whatever is necessary out of protest. Clara is a young woman from a rich entrepreneur family that she is trying to escape, so she decides to move into a commune. And she chooses the man that would annoy her parents the most – but can their love last longer than the summer?

On AO3 or FF.net

5. Heart of Steal David Oswald is dead, killed by his enemies. The Doctor, his right hand man, sets out to find his daughter Clara to protect her from the same fate but once she realizes just what kind of business her father was in she is dead set on having her revenge. The Doctor is torn between protecting her from her father's enemies and giving her everything she wants because the little girl he once knew is now a strong willed and beautiful woman. Mafia AU.

On AO3 or FF.net

6. All Inclusive When his sister Missy convinces him to go on a cruise the Doctor has no idea that she is sending him on a party & singles cruise, determined to find him a match. It's even more of a surprise to him when he wakes up the morning after a party and realizes he is married to the annoying woman who vomited on his shoes on the first evening. But all will be well and the marriage can be annulled back on land – as long as he and Clara don't consummate it.

On AO3 or FF.net

I tag: @anotheruserwithnoname, @universe-on-her-shoulders, @freloux, @c1araoswa1d, @whifferdills