#but also like i am curious about what happens so i don’t want to drop it……

[yyyyanyan]

I am enjoying a fic but ik I dropped it in the past and I Cannot Remember Why

[tojikai]

Sundered 2: EMBERS

Pairing: Gojo x reader

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Alt. Ending

Genre: Angst

tags/cw: angst, mean!gojo(kinda), babydaddy!gojo, babymomma!reader, motherhood, insecurities, arguments, implied pregnancy, mentions of abortion

word count: 5.4k

a/n: it's not sad.

Pining so intensely for something you never had to the point where you physically ache.

Each step that you take away from Satoru’s house feels like a stomp to your already broken heart. Your eyebrows furrowed, feeling the waterlines of your eyes start to get hot and itch. You recalled the noises and laughs that you heard from them while you walked out of their door. 

They have no idea how much you want to get down on your knees and beg them not to take away the only thing you have left. 

Your feet feel heavy with each stride you make toward your car. You could taste blood inside your mouth as you bit your inner lip to channel the pain away from your heart and to your body instead. You found yourself looking for answers on why all of this has to happen to you. As if being replaced by the man you love so easily and having to see how he treats someone else a thousand times better than you were not enough, you also have to witness your own flesh and blood turn away from you. Am I really that far behind that woman?

Is she that much better that even my own child prefers her over me?

You placed your hands on the steering wheel, looking down at your lap as you let the tears fall. You kept glancing over at the gate, hoping that Satoru would come out, running with your baby in his arms. Yet, you don’t want him to see you crying miserably. You swallowed thickly, letting out a large breath in an attempt to get rid of the painfully heavy feeling in your chest.

Driving away was numbing, and all sorts of thoughts ran inside your mind. But above all of them, your eyes were focused on the toy store as it got bigger in your view. You wondered about what you could get your little love to at least make her smile when she comes home. You remembered how your gift to her, her favorite bear that she used to hug as she sleeps ever since she was an infant, was cast aside as she clings to her new ones. 

Is that a foreshadowing of how you’d end up being in her life? It scared you.

Reaching the parking lot of the store, you looked at yourself in the car mirror, noticing your bloodshot eyes. You inhaled and let a big breath out slowly, puffing your cheeks as you assured yourself that it’ll be fine when she comes home later. Your head hurts so much but you can’t afford to care, stepping out of your car and heading to the front door of the store. The first thing you saw was a pregnant, young lady checking baby books. 

She reminded you of yourself when you were still pregnant with Yui; curious about everything, eager to learn, and all was about the baby. You admit that it wasn’t like that at first, given that you were young and had to drop out of college at that time. You were anxious, torn between decisions, and terrified of what life would be like for you from that point in time. During that period, you and Satoru were ignorant but trying hard to figure everything out.

You met Satoru at a nightclub where you worked as a bartender. He was flashy, and women just flock to him as if it was the most natural thing to do around him but that night, his eyes were on you. What with persistent offers of buying you drinks and talking to your manager to let you off early for the night, you ended up in a luxurious hotel suite with him. 

He even wrote his number on the price tag of the fancy lingerie set that he bought you after he ruined the one you were wearing the previous night. He was joking that you’ll never get enough so he’s providing you his contact for next time. You thought that would be the end of it. You didn’t think that it was just fate giving you a helping hand in advance because you’d end up with a child together. 

You consider it a dumb mistake. You know that Plan Bs exist. But with a working student like you who couldn’t even have time to get a proper boyfriend, it slipped your mind. The first thing you did after you got the results was call Satoru. You thanked the heavens that he wasn’t seeing anyone, and that he remembers you. It was a tense meeting, what with you asking if he wants you to abort the fetus. Next thing you know, you two were already dealing with your mood swings. 

“Look, I really want to work this out with you, Y/N. For the baby.” Satoru sighed, slamming the door behind him as he watched you sit on your old couch. You lean your elbows on your knees as you covered your face with your hands, harshly running them down your cheeks to wipe away the big, fat tears that fell from your eyes. There are just so many things going on with your life. 

“I’m only 21, Satoru. I got my whole life ahead of me.” You looked up at his tall figure, frustration was evident in your eyes. You can tell that he was also distressed. His hair was messy, his jaw was clenched tightly, and even if you cannot see behind his tinted glasses, you can tell that he hasn’t been getting enough sleep. The dark half-circles under his eyes and the redness in them show just how exhausted and disquieted he has been in the past few days.

Satoru’s five years older than you. He was born to a rich family of politicians who don't and probably will never need support from him or the other younger generations in their household. He has a stable source of income, he could probably make life investments that could cover your yearly living expenses. He has nothing to worry about, he won’t be dropping anything if he decides to take in another mouth to feed. But you…

You’re basically your mother’s retirement plan and now you got pregnant with a kid of a man you barely know. “Y/N, listen to me.” He got down on his knees in front of you, trying to take your hands off of your face as you sob, struggling to catch your breath. What’s going to happen to you now? You didn’t even get to finish the degree that your mother was working her ass off day and night for.

“You won’t have to worry about anything, you know? I’ll handle everything you need—” He trailed, trying to calm you down as he gently grabbed your forearms. “You don’t understand!” You cut him off, snatching your hands away, aggravated that he’s not thinking about how it could affect everything in your life. “Then, what the fuck do you want to do?!” You flinched as he raised his voice at you, breathing hard as he backed away.

“You think you’re the only one who’s going to be affected by this? You think you’re the only one who’s being robbed of another future! Open your fucking eyes, stop being selfish!” Satoru snapped back, harshly taking his glasses off before throwing it across the room. You started to cry, whimpering as you used the collar of your shirt to wipe your tears away.

“I’m scared, Satoru. I’m just so scared. I can’t even take care of myself, how am I supposed to raise a child…” You broke down, turning your body away from him. There was a long pause, a moment of pure silence, save from your sniffs and Satoru’s ragged breathing. 

You felt the couch dip as he sat down before pulling you to him, letting you cry on his chest.  “I know, I know. I’m sorry.” You would be lying if you said that the back rub, the temple kisses, and his whispers of reassurance didn’t calm you down. Those thoughts were recurring in your head and now that you finally let it all out and got answers from him, you were soothed.

You blinked hard, shaking your head to get out of your trance. You went straight to the dolls section. You can’t believe you just had a flashback of Satoru comforting you in the warmth of his chest. Your mouth started to twitch, wishing that he held you like that earlier when his girlfriend was slapping into your face that they’re gonna give your child siblings. It shouldn’t hurt you, but it still did. You realized that this girl, this woman is gonna have everything you wish you had with Satoru.

You walked past the kiddie pools and trampoline section, stopping when you saw a playpen, almost similar to the one Satoru bought for your little girl but smaller. The size doesn’t really matter though, because you know that you don’t have enough space in your place for something so big, anyway. 

Going closer to check the prices, you bit your lip as your eyebrows bumped together. You were calculating your monthly expenses along with the money for your savings in case of emergency. It’s expensive but you’re determined to cut back just to buy it. You kept your eyes on the tag as you took half a step away from it but your back was met by something, or rather someone behind you.

“It’s not cheap, is it?” A man’s deep voice boomed as you turned around, but your eyes were met by a broad chest. He’s big, you thought. He’s literally blocking your view. It didn’t help that you were short enough to have to look up to see his face. He was also staring at the playpen as he held the pushcart beside him.

“Y-yeah…” You answered, a bit awkward as you found yourself admiring the guy. You admired fathers who are active when it comes to their children. You grew up without a father so, you just found it endearing. You looked away from the man, gritting your teeth as an image of Satoru and his girlfriend shopping for baby things appeared before your eyes for a split second.

“Excuse me, sir. I still have to buy my daughter a gift.” You bowed slightly before turning away. He just nodded his head, too occupied to even look at you. You proceeded to check out the little dolls, hoping that you’d find something that’ll really catch your daughter’s eye. Picking up a dark-haired baby doll with big blue eyes sitting on a stroller, you smiled as you remembered how it has the same eyes as your baby.

You went to pay for the doll, and your heart was filled with joy despite the throbbing pain in your skull and the hot feeling behind your eyes. You reminded yourself not to forget to take your medicine. Thinking about getting sick and having to leave your child for a couple of days with them again makes you anxious, afraid that she’ll never want to go home to you again. 

You hurriedly went home, driving in the midst of the rain. You put the little doll on the chair, ready to surprise your baby girl when she comes back. You had to bear with the time, constantly checking your phone if your little girl and her dad are on the way to you. Your heart swelled at the thought. 

Though, you know that you’ll never be the one he comes home to, it’s still nice to think about. 

—--------------------------------

“She really called me Mama.” Naomi giggled as she kissed his daughter’s cheek. Satoru smiled, watching them play together warms his heart. It made him feel like he was staring at his family even if he knows that his daughter isn’t hers. He pursed his lips, remembering the look in your eyes at what you heard the child say.

He felt conflicted, not knowing how to react to all of it. He doesn’t want to embarrass his girlfriend by correcting her in front of you. But he also felt bad that he just watched you walk out that door on the verge of tears. Satoru had you memorized after all this time, it wasn’t a long time but he used to watch everything you do.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea, though.” Satoru sighed, shaking his head as he pushed a bit of Naomi’s hair away from her face. Her expression dropped as she adjusted the toddler in her arms. Satoru pulled her close to his side, hugging her waist as he thought about how to explain it to her without making her feel disheartened.

“I’m worried about how Y/N will feel about it, to be honest. I don’t know but it may worry her.” He kissed the side of her forehead before stepping away as he watches his daughter’s eyes look at them. He knows that she’s still too young but he feared that she’ll get confused by all of this. 

Like why is her father not with her mother, and why is he holding someone else?

He wondered if she’ll grow to hate him for giving up on their family. “Oh, Is that so…I thought we were fine already.” Naomi’s voice was quiet as she bit her lip, making Satoru rethink. “It’s not that, I just think that maybe that’s how she might feel.” Satoru took one of her hands, kissing it before rubbing his thumb on her soft skin. “No, I understand, I got too comfortable. I’m just a girlfriend, I shouldn’t have done that.” 

Satoru doesn’t want to make her feel like this, she’s just really attached to his baby. He knows that Naomi adores kids, they often joke around about it, so he could see why she’s excited about his daughter calling her Mama. Thinking about it now, maybe this shouldn’t be so bad. After all, she’s not gonna be just a girlfriend to him forever, right? Naomi is a great person, and Satoru thinks that it’s not impossible to have a future with her.

“Don’t say that. That’s just my assumption. She’ll tell if it’s not alright, I know. We’re co-parenting so we have to talk about those stuff.” Three squeezes to her hands made Naomi smile sweetly at him, her eyes as kind as the stars. “Yeah, discussions are important. I don’t want her to feel like I’m trying to keep her away from us.” The calmness in her voice comforted Satoru.

—-------------------------------------

After receiving a text from Satoru, you found yourself staring at the mirror, retouching your makeup like it’s gonna make him fall for you. Hopeless. Not long after, the doorbell rang and you dashed to the door. There, Satoru stood with Yui asleep on his shoulders. You took her bags, along with the teddy bear that she was hugging to her chest. Seeing her holding it again made you feel relieved.

“Are you feeling better now?” Satoru inquired, walking past you to put your kid in her little bed. You hummed in response, “She’s full, don’t give her any more milk. Naomi fed her before she fell asleep.” Her again. You thought as the small smile on your face dissipated. You’re just thankful that he didn’t take her with them here.

There was a moment of silence as the two of you watched your daughter sleep peacefully. A sigh escaped Satoru’s lips before he turned to you. He was about to say something, but closed his mouth, thinking. You took a deep breath, pursing your lips as you collected your thoughts. You started to rub your hands together, trying to get rid of the cold feeling on your fingertips.

Your communication issues with Satoru only worsened when he got a girlfriend. Seeing how he is with her made you doubt the importance of your words to him. It’s like if you get stuck in a room together with her and something happens, you’re almost certain that he’d accuse you first. You wouldn’t admit it but you yearn for him. You yearn for the way he acts towards her. You yearn for the things he does for her. 

You yearn for the things he so easily, willingly offer to her; things you had to beg for when you were still together.

“Satoru, I just want to ask…Since when did Yui start to call Naomi Mama?” You looked at the ground, somewhat embarrassed of your question but can’t pinpoint why. It just made you feel…weak and insecure. And you are that. But you can’t let Satoru see it. You don’t want him to feel even more sorry for you. You can see it in his and his girlfriend’s eyes whenever they look at you. They probably pity you and the state you are in. 

Alone. With no one to hold your pieces together but you.

“I don’t really remember. Look, I was going to mention that…” Satoru trailed, looking everywhere but you. He probably noticed your discomfort earlier. “I know it doesn’t seem right to you because she’s just my girlfriend but…” Here’s the “but” again. How come he can always find the good when it comes to her, even when she literally did you so wrong by letting your daughter call her Mama and even acting like one in front of you?

Ever since Satoru got a girlfriend, arguing with him started to feel like fighting in a war without any type of armor in your body. How are supposed to stand strong, when the fact that he’ll always be on her side was your weakness? There were times when you wanted to fight for yourself but you couldn’t bear to because you know that he was shielding her from everything, heedlessly deserting you.

“I didn’t really appreciate it. I mean… I-I just think she’s not in the place to—” You thought the words you chose to describe the situation were too risky when you were cut off by Satoru, taking his glasses off. You can’t read him but he’s looking at you with that apologetic gaze again. His face was filled with contrite and you can’t quite understand why. But like a mouse sensing danger, you wanted to run away.

“I…I’m thinking about proposing to Naomi.” It shouldn’t hurt. You told yourself again. You don’t have the right to feel hurt. This man disrespected you, hurt you, and made you feel so incredibly small yet here you are, wishing you were the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with. “I know she’s just my girlfriend now, but it’s bound to change.” You suddenly just wanted him to leave. “She…she’d like to ask for permission to let our daughter call her Mom. You know she treats Yui like she’s her—” 

“I don’t want to.” You whispered firmly through gritted teeth, cutting Satoru off. You don’t wanna hear it anymore. You can’t go through that again and you can’t let that happen again. “Yui is my daughter, and I don’t want her calling anyone else Mama.” You looked up at him with glassy eyes before turning away to walk out of the room, not wanting to startle the toddler from her slumber. Satoru was instantly on your tail, calling your name.

“She’s my daughter, too. Y/n, what is wrong? I know that you have your limitations and that’s why I’m here to talk about it with you, but why are you acting like this?” He walked closer to you, trying to catch your eyes. “I know it’s not just about this, I know you’ve been having problems with her but give a reason, at least. She’s been nothing but good to our kid. ” It’s getting hard for you to breathe as you tried to process your emotions and his questions.

You proceeded to the kitchen, hurrying to grab yourself a bottle of water before you collapse, but failing terribly when Satoru spoke the next sentence “Y/N, we all have to adjust, don’t be unfair to her, she doesn’t deserve it.” 

“And I do?!” You shouted at him, taking him by surprise and making him take a step back. 

“You think she doesn’t deserve any of that shit but I DO?!” You lamented, shaking your head in pain and disbelief. There were tears streaming down your face and no pattern of breathing can help you control it. You were able to keep it in when he shoved his new girlfriend in your face several months ago, but now it’s taking its toll.

You were about to get the clothes that he bought for your daughter on your way home from work but were met with a woman snuggled up to him on his couch. You hated him for allowing you to see them like that when he knows that you haven’t even processed your split yet because a month before that, he was saying that he could fix his shortcomings for you and his daughter. 

You remember how sick you felt in your stomach when he introduced her, saying that you weren’t supposed to see them like that. It’s revolting; how he thought that you were upset because of what you saw and not because he just went back on his words. Naomi kept her head down, standing in front of you as she muttered an apology before scurrying to Satoru’s room. 

Naomi was his father’s new assistant and unlike you, she got to finish her studies. Despite being classmates in high school, she was three years older than you due to the frequent relocation of her family. Regardless of her tough childhood, she was known to be a smart kid. No wonder his mother approved of her in such a short amount of time. 

You and Satoru were never perfect but it doesn’t mean that you were never happy with each other before. The issues overpowered your interest in each other, making it hard for the two of you to bounce back. You admit that you’ve been negligent of Satoru at a certain point of your relationship but it was only because you got tired of his ways.

He would come home late, making you stay up all night because he failed to reply when you texted him, asking him his whereabouts. He’d be out drinking with friends, and it wasn’t a problem but you just wanted him to at least let you know so wouldn’t be worrying to the point that you can’t even sleep.

His mother was overbearing. You got pregnant by someone’s son in a one-night stand and that’s all she paints you with. You were belittled and told that you can’t even take care of the child properly. Hell, was she so eager for Satoru to leave you and find someone better who achieved something in life.

Consequently, this negligence led to fits of jealousy from Satoru. This drove you to quit the job you used to have after a coworker of yours who only wanted to help became the subject of his suspicions. His mother saw you getting dropped off by your friend while she was babysitting your daughter. 

It was only because your car broke down and you don’t want to bother Satoru at work. You couldn’t really blame him for thinking that way because you know that he’s been feeling invisible to you which wasn’t true. You just don’t know how to deal with it anymore and you started to pull yourself away.

It got to the point where you couldn’t even communicate how you truly feel about him because it was overshadowed by your problems. You were arrogant enough to tell him that someone could treat you right and do much better and now, look at you; standing before him and his girl. Longing for him and eating the words you spitefully told him.

Pining so intensely for something you never had to the point where you physically ache.

The memory was tormenting, heart-rending, and traumatic to you. And now you get to watch them write their happy ending while you are here, left in the dust, drowning in the feelings that will never ever get recognized and will never ever be relevant. 

It hasn’t even been a year, and he’s already planning to marry her. He’s been nothing but better to her, yet, he couldn’t even change his ways for you and your child? Couldn’t he learn to truly love you after everything you endured just to be with him? You know that you have flaws, and chose some wrong steps and paths in your relationship. 

But you can’t bear to lose him like this. You know that you could have fought more for your relationship. He’d always say that you’d work things out. So, why did he stop? How could he stop choosing you so easily?

“How could you give her the world, yet refuse me the tiny bit of what I have left?” 

Your voice was small as you backed away, defeated. Satoru couldn’t move. From everything that has happened that morning, he could tell that you’ve been on edge. To Satoru, the only thing that connects you to him is his daughter. He refuses to believe that after all of that, you can still make it work.

At least, that’s the realization he came about when he met Naomi. She taught him that love isn’t supposed to be strenuous, it isn’t always about fighting. Within his tumultuous relationship with you, she came around and showed him that he’s seen. That his feelings are valid. He came to the conclusion that maybe he just wanted to love you because you have a child together. 

“Tiny bit?” He asked, frustrated that you just won’t let this go easily, irked that you always think you’re the only one having a hard time. If Satoru’s being honest, he’s just tired of it all. He just wants you to understand his point and get it over with. But now you’re crying in front of him and again, he doesn’t know what to do. He can’t even think of the right things to say or the right decisions to make. It’s like it’s all back to square one with you.

“You call it ‘tiny bit’ when I couldn’t even live my life because of you?! I’ve given everything, Y/N! I just want to be at peace with everything and I’m obviously not having it with you!” You couldn’t even breathe through the piercing ache in your chest from the daggers that are coming out of his mouth. Your hand reached over to your chest, grasping your shirt as his every word irreversibly pulverized your already wounded heart.

“I wish I never met you that night and I wish I never had Yui with you. You’re a thorn in my side, Y/N!” By the time he finished screaming at you, you were shaking like a leaf, grabbing a chair beside your table as your wide eyes stared at him in shock. Grief, mortification, and agony were plastered on your face, and only then did Satoru’s words sink into him.

“Y/N, I—” Before he could even form a proper phrase, a loud cry erupted from the other room. Yui. He watched as you quickly wiped away your tears, seeing the emotions mix inside your eyes until they turned into a weeping void with all the tears pooling inside them.

“I…I loved you, Satoru. And I hate that even now that you’re kicking me while I’m down for the sake of someone else, I still love you.” The crack in your voice had Satoru subconsciously moving closer to you, opening his arms to pull you into him but you were quick to flinch away, sniveling.

“Please, just—just go. Do whatever you want, just d-don’t take Yui away. I’m fine with it now, Satoru.” It’s almost as though something in you died when he spoke those words to you. You don’t know if he heard because you couldn’t even hear yourself. You could feel the beat of your heart in your chest and each one of them sends a burning ache to your body. “Just go, please.” You whimpered as you bit your upper lip, looking down on the floor. 

Satoru can’t take his eyes off of your fragile figure as you leaned on the kitchen counter, slowly walking back to your daughter’s room. He remained unmoving until you exited the kitchen area. It was only after a few minutes that he decided to go, not bothering to wipe away the tears that rolled down his face as he listened to your muffled cries behind the closed door.

Each sob was filled with anguish that Satoru knows he’ll never be able to erase.

—------------------------------------------------------

A few weeks later have passed yet Satoru still doesn’t know what to make of himself. He couldn’t focus on anything that he works on. He couldn’t even workout properly, he always ends up getting angry. It was a good thing that both he and Naomi were swarmed with tasks; they didn’t have time to interact any more than what their jobs would allow. If they did, Satoru isn’t sure if he’ll be able to focus on her. She still has time to visit every week, though. During those days, she spends her time with Satoru and sometimes, Yui.

He makes sure to free his time and himself completely when he’s with his daughter so he can give his full attention to her. Satoru picks her up from your house, same schedule as before. Sometimes it’s you, but other times, it was your mother. “All I asked of you was to never break her, Gojo.” were the first words she spoke to him. Satoru can’t look her in the eyes. Your mother was a kind woman, humble and unjudging. And to have her talking to him like that, Satoru was beyond ashamed.

He couldn’t give her a reason, or an answer. All he did was apologize. Like he should. Naomi was unaware of it all and the proposal that Satoru was planning for her was set aside due to all that had happened. He just doesn’t think it’s the right time to plan about it when his relationship with you is strained. Yes, you’re not together anymore but you’re still the mother of his child and he wants to be civil with you, at least.

Yui kept asking for you even when she was with him as if sensing that her Mama was hurting. She’s always carrying the new doll that you bought for her. Satoru once asked her if you cry and she would simply shake her head. He gets nothing out of it, of course, she’s just a kid. But who else could he ask?

Satoru has no idea what you have been doing. He knows that you go to work, but other than that, he’s clueless about the places you go to and why your mother started babysitting his daughter more during the past few days. Satoru thought that maybe you just can’t stand seeing him anymore and is refusing to face him whenever he picks his daughter up. You have every right and reason to despise him, after all.

So, now he stands on the other side of your door, wondering if he’ll get to see your face this time or be welcomed with the frowning face of your mother. He knocked three times, like he always does, adjusting the collar of his shirt. To his surprise, it wasn’t any of the two women he was expecting holding the door open for him. 

“Who are you?” A shirtless man with a muscular build stood before Satoru, a curious yet accusatory gaze scanned him like he was an intruder in his own woman’s home. He leaned on his tattooed arm against the doorframe, blocking the tiny view he has of the inside. It pissed him off, clenching his jaw for a few seconds before speaking.

“Who are you?” Satoru bit back, raising his brows in an attempt to intimidate the guy. He’s only a couple of centimeters taller than the stranger but he’s bigger. It wasn’t a big deal to him until the man opened the door wider. A short, deep chuckle escaped his lips before a smug smirk appeared on his face. 

Tilting his head, the man gave Satoru a clear look at the scratches adorning his nape and the purple and maroon marks on his jaw. It made Satoru’s blood boil, unreasonably so.

“Think you know who I am now?” 

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a/n: just send an ask if u want to be removed :>

[sytoran]

𝐌𝐘 𝐃𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐆𝐎𝐃𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐒 | 𝐠𝐨𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐬!𝐧𝐚𝐭 𝐩𝐭.𝟏

you, a regular law-abiding citizen, saved the gods by accident. now, the goddess of lust, natasha, is going to grant you a wish. you could've had just about anything, but looking at the ethereal being before you, there's only one thing on your mind.

pairing: goddess!natasha x dom!fem!reader (G!P)

note: hello, folks! this is the long-awaited goddess!nat fic for the milestone event! i am quite proud of this fic, ngl... got a bit too carried away with some parts ;)

word count: 2.5k

the milestone event | main m.list | join the taglist | AO3

When you jumped in front of a speeding car to save a cat on the road, you had absolutely no clue that the cat was not, in fact, a cat.

This not-cat was a species of flerken, and it’s name was Goose. Flerkens were extremely dangerous alien creatures. At least, that’s what the Goddess of Galaxies, Carol Danvers, told you.

Trust me, meeting an intergalactic space goddess with a pet killing-machine (that looked awfully like a cat) was about as chaotic and unbelievable as you would imagine it to be.

—

“H-holy fuck!” you yelled, jumping in your seat, as a glowing woman materialised before your very eyes, in your shithole of an office. 

“I do not believe I am holy, even though I am a Goddess.” The woman stated, watching with curious eyes as you tittered over your split coffee. Lifting your laptop and muttering curses, then sifting through the messed up paperwork.

“You’re a what?” You asked distractedly, still panicking over the mess that is your desk. “My boss is actually going to murder me. Or maybe I’ll murder myself first. I am literally- Yeah, okay, how the fuck did you appear like that? And aren’t gods supposed to be like, really huge? You look kinda…… human.”

“I am a goddess.” Carol reiterated with slight annoyance. A literal extraterrestrial being was in front of your eyes, and the only thing you cared about was your damn coffee? 

“We are beings you could only ever fathom from the depths of your imagination, powerful beyond measure. Which is also why we can shapeshift to look like regular human beings, so we won’t scare the shit outta you. Which seems to have still happened.”

You let out a dry bark of laughter. Carol wasn’t sure if you thought she was funny or you were about to burst into tears.

“So, why did you decide to visit me, ever-powerful, omnipresent, all-mighty being?” You asked, half-sarcastically, half simply given up on life itself. The report you had been working on for nearly an hour had been ruined by the fiasco earlier. 

You dropped into your chair, kicking your feet up onto your desk. Loosening your black tie with a weary sigh, you looked at the Goddess’ eyes and continued. “I’m a nobody. I’m an overworked and underpaid attorney. I run on caffeine. I don’t know why or how you’re here, but I really–”

“You saved us. The Gods and Goddesses.” Carol interrupts, firm and unyielding. “We owe you, alright? You get one wish.”

“One wish, to get whatever it is you desire. Anything. Anything at all.”

—

Your story was absolutely one of zero to hero. From an ‘underpaid and overworked attorney’, to having the fucking gods of the multiverse indebted to you, it seemed like a rather unorthodox situation.

“So… what do you want?” Carol had asked you. 

“Uhm, I don’t need anything,” you mumbled, fiddling with your loosened tie. “Like, it’s totally chill between us even if I saved your cat.”

Great. Real cool, Y/N. The middle school boys could never compare to your level of failed attempts at being cool.

“Goose is not a cat, alright?” Carol commented, offended. You mutter an apology. 

“So, what do you want?” she continued impatiently. “Humans thrive off greed. You mortals always want something. What is it, money? A fancy car? A boyfr– okay, not to be stereotypical, but you’re definitely not straight. So, women on your mind?”

You splutter at her outright but nevertheless true allegation. Carol gives you this blank stare that makes you feel stupid. 

“Well, I guess, as a woman, there’s something I do want,” you speak up after a while. Carol raises her eyebrows in interest. “Something I have wanted to try, you know.”

Leaning closer to whisper your deepest desire in the goddess’ ear, Carol’s eyebrows disappear into her hairline. Her impressed, intrigued, embarrassed, and taken aback emotions all morphed into one expression, almost steals a laugh from your lips.

—

“You want me to grant you a cock.”

The Goddess of Lust sits in her throne, a picturesque image of perfection, the statement falling from her lips with such ease. There’s a lilt to her voice you can’t decipher. You just nod, looking unfalteringly at the goddess, as if it was the most normal request in the world. 

The Goddess was slightly perturbed by your lack of, well, awe. There you were, standing in her grand palace, unfazed by the multi-million dollar chandeliers and gold-framed pictures, unfazed by her.

Natasha was just about the most exquisite sight people would kill to lay their eyes upon. Soft curls framed her delicately sculpted face like curtains to a stage, magnificent deep eyes and a more than well-endowed body to complement her pretty face. Her rose-gold dress of satins and sequins dripped with money. There was the thrall she exuded, of seduction so strong that had men and women falling to their knees.

Natasha was the Goddess of Lust for sakes, and the only thing you cared about was redeeming your wish?

She would’ve been annoyed, if not for how unfairly charming you were, standing with your hands in your pockets, a charming gentlemanly smile on your face.

“What kind of cock do you want?” Natasha resorts to ask, a playful smirk on her features. “I’ve seen some interesting ones over the years, intergalactic sex is far crazier than you would imagine. Ooh, do you want tentacles to-”

“Uh, no thanks.” You say hurriedly, a hand going out of your pocket to rub at your nose. It’s the first sign of discomfort or embarrassment Natasha’s seen from you. She grins. 

“Just a regular human one?” She clarifies, pouting at you slightly. 

“That’d be great, yeah.” You respond, back to smiling brightly. Natasha frowns. She knows that there’s something under that stupid gentlemanly facade you’re putting on. She’s craving to get a taste of it.

“What size?” The Goddess asks bluntly, like a Starbucks barista asking for your order on a Monday morning.

“A regular size would be fine, I suppose.” You respond in kind, nodding to yourself assuredly. Natasha winks at you. “Ah, a regular size, I see.”

Before you can decipher that cryptic response, the Goddess stands up, a pillar of superiority and authority. She snaps her fingers, and you’re being pushed back into a fancy chair. Where did the chair come from, anyway?

You forgo the answer to that question as the Goddess begins what you would assume to be the procedure. “Sit tight.”

A surge of pain presses against your crotch area, and you almost keel forward in shock, but the pain goes as quickly as it comes. 

“Wait….. that’s it?” You ask, almost disbelievingly. Natasha nods proudly.

You look down, hands resting on your belt buckle. 

You look up at the Goddess, and she only smirks. 

You pull down your pants in swift fashion, letting out a quiet ‘whoa’ at the bulge in your boxers. It definitely feels bigger than would be regular, but then again you don’t have much knowledge of a man’s cock per se.

“Thank you,” You say, pleased with the results. Trying something new in the bedroom would definitely bring more life to your desolate days.

All too quick for the Goddess’ liking, you’re putting your clothes back on and getting ready to leave. “Thanks for your help,” You say calmly, turning to walk down the long passageway.

God, you just wanted to watch her fall apart.

As you walk, you feel Natasha’ eyes burning holes through your back. Oh, the tension was palpable, building with each step you took. It was getting harder to walk, with Natasha’s thrall like a heavyweight on your shoulders, willing you not to leave.

As you stand before the tall doors, you come to a standstill. Natasha waits in her throne with bated breath, so many words fighting to fall from the tip of her stubborn lips.

Your hand pushes down on the door handle, and that’s the last thing you can do before Natasha snaps her fingers again, and the tension is broken like a snapped coil. Suddenly, you’re pressed against her, looking into her dilated pupils.

“You’re so annoying, you know? I’ve been so fucking horny, looking at you this whole time, and you were about to get up leave?” Natasha asks, her tongue coming out to dart at her pink lips. Her hands have grasped your forearms, but your hands are cinched around her waist, disabling movement.

“No,” you breathe, head moving down to trail open-mouthed kisses along the column of her poised neck. “I was waiting for you.” The Goddess throws her head back under your fleeting touch. 

“Fuckin’ tease,” she mumbles, and you smirk against her skin. You’re rough with her, too, knowing that she isn’t made of glass, sucking purple marks into the pale skin of her neck, shoving your knee between her legs to spread them wider.

“Too much clothes,” Natasha breathes, and then with a burst of magic you’re stripped bare of any article of clothing. Her hands fly to your cock instantaneously, wrapping her delicate fingers around your semi-hard member.

You grunt against her skin, struggling to find a better position to properly have her. Since she’s sitting in the throne and you’re bent over above her, you can barely have her the way you want. Due to your lack of magical power, you resort to doing things the hard way.

Your hands slide under Goddess’ dress, going under her thighs, and then manhandling her up. Natasha’s whines of disapproval turn on deaf ears as you sit yourself in the grand chair, plopping her onto your lap. You don’t miss the way her thighs are already slightly damp.

“Need you inside now, fuck,” Natasha growls into your skin, climbing onto your cock as your hands squeeze at her thighs. You proceed to rip the fabric off her skin, deciding that there’s too much clothing restricting you from getting your hands on her.

And boy, was that a sight you’d never forget. 

“Oh!” The Goddess cries, when you lean forward to wrap your lips around her hardened bud. Your hands don’t rest for a moment, squeezing everywhere – hips, thighs, breasts, ass — whatever you can get your hands on. She’s fucking exquisite.

The stimulation seems to work wonders for Natasha’s pleasure, as she engulfs your cock in her warmth with fervour.

You gasp lowly, a throaty sound escaping your lips. Her hips and ass go up and down, working her cunt around the girth of your cock, wet and warm and slick. You can barely keep up with how desperate she is, and the fact that you have this wonder of a woman falling apart at your hands makes your heart soar.

Matching the rhythm of short upward thrusts with Natasha’s riding makes her moan out loud, a pretty melodious sound that imprints itself into your brain all at once. You wanna hear it a hundreds of times more.

Natasha gets more messy with her riding, as you suck hickeys, light ones and fierce ones, into her collarbone and her neck and breasts. You can’t resist the urge to slap her on the ass as she rides you like it’s the last day she’d be on this universe.

“Ah!” The Goddess moans, and you grip her thighs and push her down hilt deep, and her eyes roll into the back of her head. You feel her cum around your cock, so needy and desperate and mindless, and that triggers your own climax. 

Natasha hadn’t even begun to open her eyes again before she ends up on the floor and you hovering above her, your hands fervently spreading her cunt open. You duck your head down, licking a long stripe up her puffy clit. 

The Goddess writhes, unintelligible moans falling from her lips as you proceed to give her the best fucking cunnilingus of her life.

You’re more than determined to make this an unforgettable experience for the Goddess who probably had sex every other day. 

Natasha doesn’t know what the fuck you’re doing with your tongue, but you’re ravenous and your carnal desire makes her even wetter than before.

She’s slept with plenty of people, human or not, but none of them had ever been this uncouth about her pussy. Oh, it nearly drove her mad, but she was already seeing stars.

Before the Goddess registers what’s happening, your hardened cock slides into her cunt with a flippant ease once again. Natasha lets out a filthy moan as she feels it throb inside her, clenching around you hard.

You slap her thigh in retaliation, but feeling the sudden strike of pain only turns her on further. “Gonna fill you up so good,” you pant. “You won’t be able to walk tomorrow.” 

Natasha takes it as a promise, when you spread her thighs and line your cock up with her pussy. The Goddess of Lust doesn’t think she’s ever wanted anyone this bad.

You enter her roughly, your previously calm exterior completely faded away. You fuck her deeper with each thrust, opening the Goddess up. Pounding into the woman’s cunt like a woman starved, you hear her beg and cry with each thrust.

“Oh, please! More! More!” The Goddes cries, nearly screaming your name every time your blunt head pushes against her cervix. You only get spurred on further, going at a pace so painfully fast you don’t know if you’ll be able to walk tomorrow.

You swallow at the sight of this Goddess, completely breathtaking in her state of unravelling. 

“My divine Goddess,” You say, leaning down to press a kiss against the bulge of your cock at her lower stomach. 

Those words in itself have Natasha uncoiling before you, your name falling from her lips like a sacred mantra. Her walls are wrapped around your cock so tight, her nails digging into your back so hard it nearly draws blood.

“My divine Goddess,” you repeat, eyes glazed over, reaching your own climax inside her. Natasha lets out a filthy moan, feeling each throb of your cock in her as walls of cum pulse inside her, again and again. 

God, it feels so good, everything everywhere all at once, your world becoming Natasha, Natasha, Natasha. 

You think you could stay like this forever.

—

A long bath and a trip to the Goddess’ bedroom later, you’re laying on her expensive silk sheets, hair smelling like rosemilk or whatever that shampoo had been called.

You honestly don’t know how this gorgeous woman’s been charmed by your awkward humour and the coffee stain on your work shirt, but you’re definitely not complaining as she nuzzles into your neck, humming in satisfaction.

“You sure that’s the first time you’ve ever had a cock?”

taglist: @natashamaximoff69 @ohsugar-honey-iced-tea @fayhar @bibliophilicbi @screechcat @rowanyaboats @nahnahnahwhat @the-night-owl-blr @nemowevoli @wannabe-fic-reader @natsxwife @wandsmxmff @enanna-h @jemilyswhor3 @manyfandomsfanvergent @jlsammy23 @spongebobs-tie1 @kiyozoe6778 @lovebelt05 @girllcver @godsfavouritelesbiann @natashaswife4125 @ezay @forthelesbians @wlwfanfictionss @forthelesbians @cowxpoke @supaheroine @saqua14 @olsensnpm @33_mrvl @gay4ols3n @knellyc30 @eatkobi @stitch26gp @cqllarbqne @lovelyy-moonlight @diannaswhore @wandaromanoff69 @shuriri4life @inluvwithfictionalwomen @Cooldogs02 @jedi-athen-orion @alyciaddict @blackqueensforeva @lovelyy-moonlight @gingerninja1993 @yourfavdummy @iliketigolbitties @scarlttolsn @blackbirdv98 @mxxnligxt @riomiyawakisstuff @alex4424 @0DeadandCold0 @mr.romanoff @mandy-asimp @idontwannabehereatm @daenerys713 @xxsekhmet @marvel_simp @maowlxslay @lizbugwanda @peggycarter3 @flositaa @dooblekhay @aliherrerasz @theo-021 @hopelesslyfalleninlove @secretbackrooms @natasha10273 @justyourwritter69 @theo-221b @wandaromanoff69

NEXT PART | series m.list

the milestone event | main m.list | join the taglist | AO3

[balancethescales]

thinking about the specific moments where the berzatto family falls in love with sydney (because of course they do, everyone does).

for richie, it takes the end of the beef and right up till the opening of the bear to happen. he is full of contempt and grief when he meets her and all he knows is that when he looks at her face he is afraid. he doesn’t like that feeling. richie is not a man who finds himself fearful a lot, but she is everything he is not and nothing that he is and he hates himself for it. if she is what it means to be passionate, then what is he? is he nothing but an empty shell of mikey, stuck on earth to shake his fist at passing clouds, because how dare they move and continue on like mikey was nothing to them, as if he wasn’t the very point that the earth revolved around? everyone is leaving him behind, and she is proudly leading the pack. it’s not right. but then— he gets it. he talks to garrett and jess and chef terry and he sees sydney in every corner of that restaurant. the fear slowly is replaced with respect as the week goes on and he realizes that just because she’s good doesn’t mean she’s out to get him. that’s the berzatto upbringing in him doing the talking, but it doesn’t have to, because shes a berzatto now, maybe not officially (not yet, but mark his words, she will be) but she is, and that’s not how she does things. so, he lets her lead them into the future to something good and different and better.

for sugar, it’s instant. she was born to a mother who is triggered by her very existence, and it has hurt her all her life. she is full of love and the one person she wants to give it to the most doesn’t want any part of it. she was born to give but is surrounded by those who are afraid to even take it, to reach out their hand and meet her in the middle. and if they cant take then they themselves have nothing to give, so she gets used to being the one who has to force feed her love down their throats, because if no one does, if no one shows them that they are worthy of good things, then they will crumble (“if i just talked to him more—” “no, nat—” “if i had just—” “it’s not your fault, honey. it’s never been.”). but when she meets sydney, it’s like looking into a mirror. she sees her bright eyes and soft smiles and careful but strong hands and instantly recognizes her for what she is: a giver. and sugars heart swells with even more love than she thought possible, because finally, she’s not alone— there is someone else there to slowly, albeit subconsciously, take care of her crumbling family, to show them that despite what their mother may have taught them, its okay to not be okay (she tries her best not to cry when syd asks her if shes okay, but she does. and syd doesnt grab her face or yell at her or call her stupid. she makes her a meal. and sugar cries some more).

for cicero, the love isn’t instant, and it’s not even entirely love. she is strong and she is assertive, but that also makes her naive and a very expensive risk. she makes him curious for what’s to come, intrigued by the way she doesn’t back down from carmy whose voice so often mimics the berzattos that came before him (“you’re better than this, kid.” “i don’t know what i am.” “whatever it is, it’s not this.”). she's self assured and knows her place in the establishment and is unafraid to let people know it. it’s a refreshing change of pace from mikey, who often resorted to intimidation to get his way, or carmy, who’s anxiety envelopes him and distracts him from what’s right there in front of him. but she is not them. she is focused and on track and is willing to put in the work to get what she wants. he doesn’t visit the bear often, only drops by once in a while to deliver bad news or to fulfill a favour or to just enjoy some good food, but when he does, she is always there, dedicated to ensuring that carmy and michaels, and now, her dream stays alive. she is good for his family, and he trusts her to keep the berzatto spirit alive.

for michelle, it’s quite simple. she always looked out for carmy, their little bear, so when she meets her it’s a family thanksgiving party at the bear and syd stumbles out of the kitchen, obviously frazzled and a little sweaty (“carmy, im not ready, i didn’t even change yet and the turk—” “don’t worry, tina will take care of it, you look great, they’ll love you, they just really wanted to meet you—”), but she’s smiling. she’s a little awkward when she introduces herself, and michelle finds herself endeared by her nervous ramble (“it’s, uh, really nice to meet you guys. sorry, i didn’t know that i was going to be pulled out of the kitchen so soon. uh, im sydney. yeah, i guess carmy already told you guys, huh? um. im sorry, how are you related to the family again? i mean, i dont want to offend but it’s just. uh. well, you guys are just very... normal?”) and she’ll laugh and look at stanley and the two of them will think to themselves, good job carmy, she’s a good one, before telling syd something dumb and nonsensical about a genetic mutation and richie interrupts to tell michelle it’s not a genetic mutation it’s called being boring and syd will laugh and michelle will too, truly happy that their little bear found someone normal, a breath of fresh air within the smoke of their family.

for donna, it’s weird. it’s tense. they don’t meet for a long time. they don’t meet at the bear when it first opens and not at the bear even when it has found it’s footing, but by chance. they are somewhere mundane (a grocery store, a park, or maybe just the street) and there is no other family member around when syd meets the berzatto matriarch. she only knows what donna looks like from photos at sugars house because carmys apartment is devoid of any actual sentiment (although that has begun to change since she made him get an actual dresser and he dedicated one of the drawers to her stuff). she calls out to her by her name, and donna turns around startled. she doesn’t recognize syd, of course, who introduces herself and informs her of who she is to the family. when donna smiles it’s not a real one, and syd knows this, but it doesn’t deter her. she tells donna that her kids love her (“even after everything, nat?” “she’s our mother. its all that we can do.”) and that her kids are great (“carmy, you are not broken.” “im a little broken.” “no, listen to me, the fact that you are still here, means something. its something.”) and that there will always be a table for her at the bear (“chef, someones calling in for a reso for 1 but we’re all full up… except for—“ “yo, dont finish that sentence. table 7 for ms. berzatto is an indefinite booking. is that understood?” “yes, chef”). donnas smile fades and her chest fills with anger but just as she’s about to explode in typical berzatto fashion syd interrupts her. she has faced the bear many a time before and has handled herself with grace and dignity everytime, so this is no different. she smiles brightly and thanks donna for listening to her and hopes she considers coming in, because she’d really like to cook for her. she looks like she needs a good meal. she deserves one. she turns and walks away. donnas stomach growls. that night, table 7 is occupied for the first time since the bear opened its doors.

and carmy? well, there isn’t an exact moment. its a culmination of awkward partnership (“i don’t want to be shitty.” “okay, then dont be.”) and flawless teamwork (“the menu needs—” “already on it, chef.”) and nights unwinding at the bar down the street (“of course you drink an old fashioned.” “what’s that supposed to mean?” “nothing, it’s just very… tortured-chef-from-the-slums-of-chicago of you”) and spontaneous phone calls just to hear the others voice (“why are you whispering?” “i… don’t know. my dads home. its a habit.” “you’re 27.” “and you’re white, you wouldn’t get it.”) till they’re just inseparable (“cousin, wheres carmy?” “with syd, duh.” “why'd i even ask?”). and then, sydney and carmen become something else. something tender and sweet and terrifying and beautiful all mixed together into… something. there’s no word for what they have. but it feels so right; to the guests who taste their food and recognize that the hands who put it together are full of love and care; to the staff at the bear who see the unspoken communication, the lingering touches, and their soft eyes that seem to always be on the other; to the berzatto family who notice that carmy looks a little brighter, and shakes a little less. yes, its love, but its so much more. it’s syd and carmy. it always has been, and always will be.

(“can i ask you something? something corny and lame and gross?” “always.” “when did you, like, know?” “know what?” “like, when did you know that you loved me? like, not as a chef or a friend, but as... y'know.” “that’s very middle school of you to ask.” “shut up, i did warn you.” “…” “so?” “its, uh, i don’t, i don’t know.” “well, that’s rude.” “no, i mean, i can’t say its one moment because... it was all of them. together. like, one moment you’re staging and then everything happened and, and, keeps happening but the next thing i knew you were there and you always were there and i just knew that i never wanted you to not be there.” “that’s…. really, really, disgusting, and frankly, a little unprofessional.” “oh, fuck off.” “no, like, i knew you were obsessed with me, but wow, that is a whole new other level.” “fuck you, get off of me, don’t touch me.” “no no no, please—” “i let you into my family—” “let me?” “into my restaurant—” “i think you mean OUR restaurant—” “only for you to humiliate me in my own bed? how dare you.” “…are you sulking?” “…” “…carmy?” “syd?” “me too.” “…heard, chef. now come back here.”)

(and it’s unspoken, but everyone knows that michael would’ve loved her too. i mean, she’s sydney fucking adamu, she conquered the bear. how could anyone not love her?)

[shiftinglea]

I haven’t entered the void yet since it’s not really my priority, and I know I can manifest without it. But I still want to experience it for its own sake. I also want to experience it through meditation because I’m curious about the process from being fully awake to becoming pure awareness. I am not that interested in waking up in the void. So, I want to share some personal insights about the void state and what seems to be helpful for me. I want to note that there are many ways of entering the void state. What I do is not the only way 🙏

My main method for trying to enter the void state is meditation. I’ve tried many techniques, and I found that doing 3 rounds of Wim Hof breathing is like bypassing the whole process of relaxing and detaching. After three rounds, I’m just chilling and observing what’s happening. My mind is quite calm and clear after breathing, so there isn’t much noise. If I do get some thoughts, I just observe them and let them be.

What also helps me stay thoughtless is imagining collecting every single irrelevant thought—about work, home, things I need to do, stuff from the past, etc.—and putting them into a big metal box, which I then bury in the ground. This trick is very helpful.

I got closest to the void state when I wasn’t even trying to get there. Yes, my intention was to experience the void, but during the meditation itself, I drop this desire. My only intention is to just be and observe what’s happening without reacting to anything.

Whenever I start analyzing what’s happening and try to reach the void state by affirming more, I just don’t progress. But when I just chill, don’t care about the void, and allow myself to be and experience whatever is happening without analyzing or judging it, that’s when I feel like I nearly reach the void state. I felt like I was in a dark room, being pure awareness detached from my body. I know that if I had kept observing this state, I would have entered the void. But I started to get excited and analyze what was happening, trying to get even deeper into the state. So, the progression slowed down until I came back to my body.

It makes sense to me because meditation is about being, observing, and letting go. But when I try to reach the void state, it becomes an act of doing, driven by logic and ego. The void is a state with no ego—it’s just you being pure awareness, perfect as you are. So, it’s not about trying to reach it; it’s about realizing and embracing the idea of already being I AM.

As a bonus, I will share some screenshots from one of my favorite books by Neal Donald Walsch about how to reach the void state. It was quite helpful for me, so I hope it also helps you ❤️

[krav3nn]

ᰔᩚMINI SKIRTᰔᩚ

Summary: your always wearing mini skirts, climbing in them, bending over in them, etc. bill being your boyfriend doesn’t want you to flash any weirdo so what a better solution than to put you on his shoulders!

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

Bill loved when you wore mini skirts, he thought you looked beautiful in them. But the bad thing is other men also think so.

You wore mini skirts almost everyday, and you were always very active and curious. Bill loved that about you. But when you did stuff like this, your skirt would ride up.

Bill obviously liked it but he didn’t like that other men also liked it. He say the way men stared at you when you bent over to pick somthing up.

Obviously he could stand behind you when his happened to cover you and offer to pick the item up instead. He hated that people looked at you.

But he would never tell you what to wear, but he also didn’t want you to be harassed so he always protected you.

You would climb trees a lot and try to make it to the top. Or at least where you could sit on a sturdy branch. Again though when you did this, creeps got a good peek at your under where

Bill was a tall guy, he was around 6,4. So one day when you saw a tree he had an idea. What if he put you on his shoulders and let you climb from there so you wouldn’t be exposed but you’d be able to sit up there

So he mentioned it to you. “Hey princess?” Bill says squeezing your interlocked hands. “Yes Billy?” You reply with a sweet smile that makes bill melt

“Can I…put you on my shoulders and lift you up on the tree?” Bill asked. You were silent for a second, excitement building in your mind as you thought of it

“Yea! I would love that!” You said walking a bit behind him. Bill bended down to let you climb on his shoulders. He also put his hands around your waist to help you

Once you were on his shoulders you were nervous you were too heavy. “Billy?” You squeaked. “Yes baby?” Bill said, walking to the tree of your choice. “Am I too heavy?” You said looking down at him.

“What?! Absolutely not!” Bill continued, “your as light as a feather to me baby.” You smiled at the reassurance. Bill reached the tree and helped you get lift up onto it.

You stood on a sturdy tree branch and looked down at bill with a smile, you loved trees, it was your fixation and bill loved it. He thought it was so cute

Once you were ready to get down you asked bill, “can I get on your shoulders again!” As you smiled. “Of course leibe!” Bill said as he bent down again, letting you get on his shoulders.

Once you were on his shoulders he ran around to tease you. “AHHH!! BILLY DON’T DROP ME!!!” You laughed. “I won’t drop you baby girl.” Bill said walking again to where you were going.

This was most definitely going to be a daily occurrence. Though bill loved having you on his shoulders nobody could stare under your skirt and he got his baby girl on his shoulder!

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

A/N: thank you @bunnysenpai31 for requesting this I love you sugarplum 😜 I’m still working on requests so more will be out soon!

[freedomfireflies]

okok so idk it’s nothing special really but i don’t think i’ve ever actually read something like that and i've been sort of searching for it for some time because i personally struggle with it and well, it’s annoying 👼 but anyway, my request is a one shot or even just a shorter blurb, whatever you feel okay with where H and the reader get into a fight for the first time really, they were always solving their problems by communication and always managed to not get into proper fights. but well it can’t last forever, right? so they get into actually heated fight and harry properly raises his voice at her and there the whole thing is, Y/N is sort of hypersensitive and whenever someone screams at her or even just scolds her, she cries and she can’t stop it nor control it, thinks it’s pathetic and is always ashamed or crying like a baby and not being able to scream back or remain calm. so she tears up and she’s telling him to ignore it and starts apologizing for acting like that and he sort of doesn’t know what to do because he’s really worked up and doesn’t think straight but he also feels extremely guilty. so maybe he like tries to go away and escape this but shortly comes back to comfort her or something like that? i dunno if it’s something you’d be up to writing, it’s totally fine if you don’t feel like it but yup, there goes my a bit of an angsty request!

“You are so fucking ridiculous. I can’t talk to you when you’re like this.”

“Like what? Rightfully curious? Justly upset?”

“No…hysterical.”

You rear back, lashes fluttering as you stare at the aggravated British man across from you. “Wow. That’s what I am, huh? Hysterical?”

“Yes,” he says simply, unphased by the line he just crossed. “Yes, you’re being hysterical. And I can’t talk to a hysterical woman.”

You can feel the pressure against your chest as your throat begins to burn from the tears you know are coming. 

But you straighten your shoulders and feign indifference. “Maybe I wouldn’t be so hysterical if you would just talk to me.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” he seethes for a second time. “We had lunch. That was it.”

“And I said that’s fine, but you didn’t have to lie about it—”

“I didn’t fucking lie, I—” His hands find his hair, fingers yanking at the roots as his teeth grit together. “For fuck’s sake. I don’t need to explain my choices to you—”

“Oh, yes you fucking do,” you argue, taking a step closer. “If you want to be in this relationship, you need to communicate with me—”

“I did fucking communicate. I told you I was going to lunch—”

“With Alex. You did not mention Samantha—”

“So fucking what? What does it matter if she was there?”

Your jaw just about drops. “It matters because she was a huge part of your past, and having lunch with her makes me think—”

“Makes you think what, huh?” he suddenly bellows as he moves closer to you as well. “What? That I was gonna fuck her right there on the table?”

There’s a fire in his eyes you’ve never seen before. A rage in his voice, in his stance, in his expression that you’re unfamiliar with.

This Harry…is not your Harry.

Your Harry would calmly explain the miscommunication and then ask if you wanted to bake some brownies together. 

This Harry looks like he wants to walk out of your life.

And into hers.

“You think I went there to cheat on you?” he continues, taking another step. And with each additional step, his volume rises. “Think I went there to beg her to take me back? To embarrass you? To throw all the progress you and I have made away?”

“Har…” you murmur, hands raising as if to tame him. 

Or perhaps to keep him away.

He doesn’t notice. Nor does he notice the subtle shake in your request as he continues stalking toward you. 

“Is that what you’re so fucking afraid of? You don’t trust me?” he just about shouts. “What? I need to be more communicative, but you don’t have to fucking trust me? What kind of fucking relationship is that—”

You don’t know how it happened. Don’t know when the tears that had been crawling up your throat slipped from your eyes and began pouring down your cheeks. You don’t know why you’ve suddenly been reduced to a puddle of quivering breaths and anxious glances but suddenly, that’s all you know.

Harry slows to a stop, focus flicking across your face as if assessing you. “What…what’s happening—”

You swallow a hiccup and quickly wave your hand through the air, as if to dismiss his comment. “Nothing. Nothing, sorry—fuck. Sorry, I’m fine, I’m—”

“Why are you…crying?” he asks, lowering his voice back to his normal register as takes one more step.

You roll your eyes, annoyed with yourself as you swipe your knuckles across your wet cheeks and huff, “I just…I cry when I’m…listen, I’m fine. I just…I know you didn’t go there to…cheat, I just—”

“Your hands are shaking,” he interrupts, rather matter-of-factly, his eyes downcast toward your arms.

You glance down as well. “Yeah, that…happens. Look, I didn’t mean to make you mad—”

“Why are your hands shaking?”

You swallow again. “’Cause…I don’t do well. With confrontation.”

He looks back up. “Oh.”

“Yeah. I don’t know. Childhood trauma, I guess. I just…I cry,” you admit, rather sheepishly as you once again try to dry the tears still dancing down your chin. “But I’m fine. Sorry. I wasn’t…I know I shouldn’t’ve—”

“Did I make you cry?” he asks now, eyebrows raised.

Again, you wave him away. “No. No, not…not you. I just…when people yell at me, I—”

“Was I yelling at you?” 

Your expression softens at the absolute confusion on his face. “I mean…I don’t think you meant to, but…you did get pretty loud.”

He leans back, almost as if you’d slapped him. “Firefly, I didn’t…I didn’t realize. I…I just…I don’t know…”

“I know,” you offer gently, attempting to reach for him but he’s quick to pull himself back, terrified to have you close. “Har. Don’t do that, it’s fine—”

“I yelled at you,” he mumbles, like he can’t believe it. “I don’t…we don’t yell.”

“I know, but you were…you were angry—”

“Are you defending me?” he interrupts, seemingly aghast. “Firefly, I fucking yelled at you. I scared you, I made you cry. That’s not something to defend—”

“I always cry,” you retort, smiling to lighten the mood but are instead met with a frown. “Harry, it’s fine. Look…I shouldn’t have gotten so upset about the lunch, I just…look people talk. Twitter talks, I thought…they seemed pretty sure it was a different kind of lunch, so…I assumed. And I’m sorry.”

He studies you for a moment, eyes flicking between yours before he sighs and takes a hesitant step forward.

He takes your face between his hands and swipes his thumbs through the tears. “Believe me, you have nothing…to worry about. Samantha was and still is the biggest bitch I’ve ever met. I was supposed to meet Alex. But he fucking set up the lunch with her because she asked him to.”

“Oh,” you whisper, now feeling a tad guilty. “Damn, yeah. She is a bitch.”

“Yeah. I mean, more power to her but…like a text would have sufficed, you know? I can just as easily tell her to fuck off over the phone.”

You smirk. “I do trust you. I promise I do. I shouldn’t have assumed, I just…I would hate losing you.”

“God, Firefly, you would never,” he breathes, dipping down to press his forehead to yours as his eyes flutter shut. “Never fucking lose me. It would kill me if you left. You are it for me, do you understand? You are it. I’m never fucking letting you go. I’d lock you in my basement before I let you go.”

You laugh and playfully swat at his chest. “Ha. Ha.”

He smiles and leans back to see you once more. “Please believe me. She means nothing to me. Hell, even Alex means nothing to me now. Just you. Only you. Always.”

You take hold of his wrists and squeeze, heart bursting with adoration for the beautiful man before you. “I believe you.”

“And I promise never…to raise my voice at you again.”

“Hey, listen…I don’t mind a good yelling match as long as I get a few hits in.”

“Oh, is that right?”

“That’s right.”

He grins and surges forward to kiss you.

Hard.

“Good. Now…let’s go make some brownies.”

Thank you so much for the request, I hope it could somewhat fulfill your expectations! It was so fun to write, I’m so grateful you sent it 😭💞

~ Other Harry Blurbs

~ Full Masterlist

[sturniolos-blog]

a matt oneshot where estrella is 14 and has her first panic attack

First Panic Attack - Matt Sturniolo x Y/n Oneshot

warnings - anxiety, panic attack, this made me sad for ellaaaa, cute after, sorta short, swearing, angst, also sorta same storyline as my last fic

—————————

8:37pm

“Well i don’t know what you want me to tell you, Matt. It’s not my fault you work all the time and barely come home to see our daughter, or our son for that matter.” I throw my hands up.

Matt and I were arguing because our 14 year old daughter, Ella, didn’t want to spend anytime with Matt. Mailo didn’t really care, he loved spending time with Matt even if it was only a little.

Matt scoffs and shakes his head, “Don’t fucking blame this on me, y/n. You know i’m seriously busy, and you know that if I could take time off, i would.” Matt argues.

I lean against the kitchen sink, crossing my arms. “Do i? Do i know that? Because Chris told me you just got an offer to take two weeks off but you said you didn’t need it.”

Matt looks at me, swallowing harshly. “So what, you’re keeping tabs on me?” He accuses.

I let out a laugh in disbelief and start to walk away.

“Where are you going!?” Matt raises his voice.

“Away from you! I’m not crazy, Matt! Of course i’m not keeping tabs on you, i talked to chris and he let it slip!” I yelled.

Matt stays silent and scratches his head.

I scoff, “Yeah don’t fucking say anything. I am done with the lies, i am done with the excuses, and i am done waiting for you to be a father.” I point at Matt as we stand in the door way between the living room and the kitchen.

“I am a great father!” Matt yells at me.

“Oh yeah?! Well you sure don’t fucking act like i-”

“Dad! Mom! Somethings wrong with Ella!” I hear Mailo yell from upstairs.

Matt looks at me before shoving past me and rushing upstairs.

I follow after him, rushing upstairs. Matt opens Ella’s door to see her on the floor crying with her head in her hands, Mailo sitting on the floor next to her.

My heart breaks for my daughter.

Matt sits on the floor next to Ella as Mailo gets out of the way. “Talk to me, baby. What’s wrong?” He rubs her back.

Her breaths were scattered as i walked in, pulling Mailo back softly.

“What’s wrong with her, mom?” Mailo asks me.

I hush Mailo as Matt stays next to Ella, waiting for her to speak.

“M-mom?” Her voice cracked, her breaths were uneven as she choked on her own sobs.

I teared up and took my hands off of Mailo, moving on her left side while Matt was on her right, “Yeah, baby? I’m here.” I also put my hand on her back as she took heavy breaths, her breaths sounded like a rock skipping on water. It was heart breaking.

“G-get dad out of the room.” She said, her voice was harsh but quiet.

Matt looks at me, a pained expression on his face. “What?” Matt breathes out.

“Matt, you should go.” I say in a hushed tone.

Matt scoffs. “But-”

“Mom, get him out!” Estrella yells as she buries her head in my chest, crying as her whole body shook in my arms.

“Matt, get the hell out!” I yell, tears filling up in my eyes.

Matt clears his throat and nods, “Come on, Mailo.” He hurries Mailo out, shutting the door as he leaves the room.

Estrella let out multiple sobs, “I can’t stop shaking- mom! W-what’s going on!? Why can’t i breathe?” Estrella freaked out.

I hold her tightly, “You’re having a panic attack, Ella. It happens and it’s okay but you need to think about something else.” I tell her.

“I can’t, mom!” Her voice cracks as she her body racks with sobs.

I let out a sigh, “You don’t tell me about school anymore. What’s going on with that?”

Her fingers claw my shirt, “W-what?” She lets out another cry.

“Any boys? any girls? anyone i need to know about?” I keep going, hopefully distracting her enough.

“No girls. There’s this guy- jason. He’s really sweet, and i like him. But i don’t think he likes me.” She says, her voice was quiet but her breaths and cries were slowing down.

“Is he cute?” I ask.

She lets out a laugh, “Mom!”

“I’m curious!” I defend.

Her smile drops slightly as she comes to a realization that she’s okay now. “It’s gone now.” She says, taking her head away from my chest but still in my arms.

I nod, “Do you wanna talk about it? About what got it started?” I ask softly, my fingers brushing through her hair.

She shakes her head and looks away, looking guilty.

I sigh, “Is it about Dad and I?” I ask her, i figured it was.

Estrella looks at me and nods.

I look down for a second.

Estrella sees my look. “I’m sorry, mom- it was stupid, i-”

I cute her off, “It wasn’t stupid, baby..” I trail off for a second as i shrug. “It was reasonable. What happened?”

She plays with her fingers for a second, “I don’t know.. Mailo came in my room and said you guys were fighting again, so i let him in and we tried watching TV. B-but i don’t know, i just started crying- and then everything went blurry, and then i-”

I hushed her as she almost started crying again.

“It’s okay, baby. It’s okay.” I kissed her forehead.

We sat in silence for a couple seconds.

“Can i ask why you wanted dad out of the room?” I asked, one hand tracing circles on her back and one still brushing through her hair.

She shrugged, “I was mad at him…” She trails off for a second before taking a breath. “I am mad at him..”

I nod.

Estrella speaks again, “He’s never home anymore, i miss him a lot. A-and so does Mailo but Mailo doesn’t say anything because he doesn’t want dad to be mad at him.” Ella admits.

I shook my head, “Whether you like it or not your father is always gonna love you guys.. He could never be mad at you guys.. especially for having feelings like a human being. It’s okay to feel like that, Ella.” I tell her.

She nods, “But he probably hates me now ‘cause i kicked him out..” She says in a quiet tone.

“I’m gonna be honest with you because you’re older. He probably is upset, but he doesn’t hate you. Why don’t i talk to him first, then you can say what you want to? You can tell him how you feel.” I suggest.

Estrella shakes her head rapidly, “I can’t, mom! He’ll be so mad at me!”

I hush her, “Ella i’m serious, i’ll stay in the room with you guys. He won’t be mad.” I say.

She sighs and nods, “Okay. Thanks mom.” She says.

I kiss her forehead, “Anytime.” I smile before standing up and helping her up too.

I open Ella’s door and walk out into the hallway, opening Matt and I’s room door.

“Ella, you’re okay!” Mailo jumps off the bed that him and Matt were sitting on.

“Of course i am you dork.” She replies.

I laugh, “Alright guys go do something else and play nice.” I ruffle Mailos hair.

“I’m gonna get the good controller!” Mailo yells, running downstairs.

“Come back here you jerk!” Ella chases after him.

I laugh before shutting our room door after walking in.

Matt was sitting on his phone, him biting his nails.

“Matt..” I say softly. Sitting on the bed next to him.

I put my hand on his shoulder but he shrugs me off.

“Stop.” He says.

I shake my head, “Please, talk to me.” I plead.

Matt turns off his phone, putting it on the nightstand.

He sniffles, “W-why doesn’t she want me anymore?” He lets out a sob.

I put my arms out to him and he immediately hugs me as i rest my back against the head board, his arms going around my torso and his head into my chest as his body lays in between my legs.

I run my fingers through his hair, “Oh baby..” I mumble, kissing his head.

He let out soft cries into my shirt. “I know i’ve been a bad father- i just don’t know what to do anymore..” He cried.

I hushed, “You haven’t been a bad father.. i’m sorry i told you that. You’re an amazing father- Estrella just told me she misses you.”

“A-and it’s my fault, because i didn’t even take off time for my own children. I’m a horrible person..” He sniffled.

I kissed his head once more, “You aren’t, Matt. Trust me, she loves you so-”

I get interrupted by a knock on our door with it opening.

Estrella peaks her head in, “Dad?” She asks, her voice soft.

Matt shoots up, wiping his face with his hands and sniffling. “Yeah, sweetheart?” He answers, trying his best not to cry.

Ella comes in and sits on the bed as i watch, keeping my word on staying in the room with her.

She clears her throat, “I’m sorry for kicking you out of my room. I didn’t mean it. I love you so much and you’re the best dad. But i miss you, a lot. A-and Mailo does too, he’s just to scared to admit it.” She confesses.

Matt nods and sniffles, “I know, baby. A-and i’m so sorry, let me make it up to you, yeah?” He suggests.

Estrella laughs and nods.

Matt looks at me, “Pizza?”

I laugh, “Sounds good to me.”

Mailo then comes in the room, “I want pizza!” He barges in.

Matt laughs and ruffles Mailos hair.

—————————

i hope you guys like this one because i know i did !

taglist: @sturniolosmind @novasturniolo03 @hearts4chriss @vinniehackerslefttoe

[stxuxrniolochris]

fake dating ~ chris sturniolo

slow burn ( i think ), your both seniors(18), also i live in Ireland so idk how American like years ik school works so just go with it, use of y/n, half based on to all the boys I’ve loved before but not really, highschool!chris

P2 P3 P4

*not proofreading*

Summary ~~you both need to get peoples attention but you might just end up catching eachothers~~

~

you and Chris have been bestfriends since you met in freshmen year. We clicked instantly and have been by eachothers sides in everything. So it wasn’t surprising that you and him were sitting on his bed eating ice cream after his girlfriend broke up with him and your crush started ghosting you.

“I still can’t believe it” Chris starts “after a whole year of being together she just ends it because she’s bored” he says with a mouthful of ice cream “I know but if it helps I never really liked her” you pointed out knowing it didn’t really help. You both sat in silence just enjoying eachothers presence. Even though you were sad Ben ghosted you atleast you still have Chris. This happened a lot with boys though, they would see how close me and Chris were and get intimidated.

“I have an idea” Chris exclaims. You roll your eyes slightly and turn your head to look at him, knowing it probably isn’t good. “And before you say no just hear me out” now you were curious. “Ok…” you said unsure. “We should like pretend we’re together to make Amelia and Ben jealous” he starts “What no Chris im not” he cuts you off “come on y/n it will help both of us ameila will realise she made a mistake, and I get her back and Ben will get jealous and start wanting you again” he pleads. You’re still unconvinced. “Chris it’s a bad idea” you said blankly “give me 2 reasons we shouldn’t do it and I’ll never mention it again” he protests, but you couldn’t think of one you just had a weird feeling about it “I….” You trail of trying to think. “See please let’s juts try it out, you can’t even think of one!” He says through another spoonful of ice cream. “I don’t know Chris lemme think about it” you said and he nods. “ I should probably go home since we have school” i said while getting up. “Ughhhhh, well make sure to think about my idea” he said while frowing but smirking a bit at the end. “ ok Chris” you laughed while walking out the door.

-at school-

You walk to your locker, half hoping Chris had ditched his idea on getting Amelia back but also thinking it wouldn’t be too bad, i mean what’s the worse that can happen. As your opening you locker, you feel an arm come around your shoulders. You look up and are met with Chris smiling looking down at you. “So did you make your mind up about my amazing plan” he says leaning down to you. “Wow, no hello?, how are you?” You says offended but clearing joking, he laughed and stood infront of you with both hands now resting on your shoulders. “No but seriously” he said looking you dead in the eye. You sigh, still thinking. “Fine but come to my house after school, if this is gonna happen we need to set some rules.” You said monotone. “Oh my god really? You’re the best y/n” he said while attacking you with a hug, that you slightly fall back from. “I know i am.”

I’m waiting in the car park for Chris, thinking if this is just a massive mistake, when I feel someone tap my shoulder. I turn around and it’s Chris with a huge grin on his face, I couldn’t say no now seeing how happy he is. “You ready” he beams his smile “yup…” you mumble as you walk to the car.

Matt drops you two off at the house and him and nick head back to their house. It’s silent while you both walk up to your room and sit down. Matt and nick both know what Chris’ ‘amazing’ idea is beside he doesn’t like hiding stuff from them. They both said it was a bit weird but whatever works for us. “So.. what rules do you have?” Chris finally spoke up. “Well, no kissing cause I haven’t had my first one and I don’t want it to not mean anything” you said truthfully “but then how will people believe we’re together what kind of couple doesn’t kiss” he protests, i just shrug. “How bout I can liek give you a peck, nothing intimate just quick” he suggested, I thought about for a second. “Ok I guess” I said, I trusted him so I didn’t really mind too much. “Is that the only rule?” He questioned. “Yea just don’t be talking weird about me to like people” I said not wanting him to spread anything to his hockey team, I knew he wouldn’t but to be sure. “Yea obviously” he reassured and I smiled while nodding. “Alright, start tomorrow?” He not really asking. “Yea I guess” I said still not convinced that this will work. “Perfect, let’s go get food?”

The next morning the triplets picked me up for school, because Chris said we had to walk in together. You were nervous about it since Chris was more ‘popular’ than you, he was the captain of the hockey team and he was good looking, hell he was hot. Everyone praised him, while you were still known, but no one loved you like they loved Chris. People, mainly girls, fell at his feet, he was probably one of the most popular guys in the school and him having a big following online just made this bigger.

When you both walked in Chris had his arm around you with his hand placed half on your hip and half on your ass. You got a few looks and stares but people knew how close you are so didn’t think much of it. Until you two reached your locker and he stepped infront of you with both hands on your waist and gave you a quick kiss on your lips, then bending down and whispering in your ear “you did great” and then giving you a kiss on the head before walking to his locker. You looked around and there were definitely more people starting and whispering to eachother than before. Two in particular were staring a bit too long at you so you gave them a slightly sarcastic smile and opened your locker.

While walking to class you heard a few whispers like:

“I mean her and Chris”

“Why would Chris chose her”

“Who is that and why did Chris kiss her”

“Did you hear about y/n and Chris”

You sighed and walked to your usual seat beside your girl-bestfriend, madison. “Hi madi” you smiled. “Chris??” You looked at her confused “you’re dating Chris!? Your best friend!?” Oh yeah that. “Yea..” you mumbled not wanting her to know what’s really happening since you were a bit embarrassed. “Why didn’t you tell me?” She asked “sorry it just happened fast I was going to” she just nodded and started writing notes again.

Class ended and you were going to your normal lunch table with the triplets, madi, ava, ciara (matts girlfriend), and Nate. You saw everyone sitting there except Chris. But before you could reach the table you felt someone grab your wrist and it was Chris. “Come sit with me” he said not letting go of your wrist. “Why don’t we sit with are friends” you questioned. “Because we need to be seen alone together.” He said like it was obvious and brought his hand to mine while interlocking them.

This was going to be weird to get used to.

[thewhumpcaretaker]

HENLLOO ✨️💖

I have this idea for some time, and it's something I wanna write one day, BUT I think you'd really like this idea bc it's hurt/comfort and Santino at the beach! I'm curious about your thoughts or if it's inspiring yk 👀

Santino having a wound, that's not fully healed, or not healed at all and he wants to go to the sea to feel that salt kinda "bite" his wound, he wants to feel that pain because he thinks he deserves it or whatever other reason.

John tried to talk him out of it just because he knew it would hurt, but then again, sea water could help the wound heal faster. So, John insists for Santino's own safety that he goes with him. And eventually Santino agrees. Of course it hurt and burned, it's salt on the wound and Santino maybe thought it would be easier but it hurt a lot.

Santino wants to make himself suffer even more 😞

AAAAAAAA this one cut DEEP for me!! Your asks are so good lately (well, always, but especially this one). It's so dark but honestly this is a topic that I love to write about and I think it says a lot about Santino and what he's going through. What a brutal scenario, Santino is really suffering. But John is there to make sure he's safe and build up his self-esteem, as always.

Also, as a note: the ocean is not recommended as a source of salt water to put on a wound even if it does help sometimes, because there's bacteria in the ocean! So don't try this at home.

🖤💙Salt in the Wound💙🖤

TW: self harm via salt water, attempted self harm via breaking and punching things, blaming himself for abuse, concerns over potential suicidal behavior (there is none actually attempted), Dead Dove Do Not Eat

“LEAVE ME ALONE!”

“I am not leaving you alone like this!”

The bedroom was wrecked in every way that wouldn’t be permanent. Pillows and blankets thrown around the room, the desk overturned, even the curtains torn down. John had stepped in to stop Santino from tearing up his own poetry, but he’d let him flip the chair and splinter its legs against the floor. And why was all of this happening? Because Santino had been punished by a High Table emissary. The Adjudicator and company had approached them in the middle of the Continental lobby, informed Santino that he had broken some inscrutable rule John didn’t even know about, and then slashed him across the gut in front of the whole room of people.

After the wound was patched up he had just sort of…gone quiet. It was obvious he blamed himself. He brooded all the rest of the day, until finally John pressed him about what was wrong and he exploded.

“Fuck off, John! Get your hands off of me!” He had Santino’s arms pinned behind his back so he wouldn’t punch the walls. Reluctantly, he let go, and just as he’d expected, Santino lunged towards the wall. John was too fast and put himself in front of Santino’s fist before he could make contact. Santino stopped short, flushing even harder at the frustration of having to restrain himself in that state.

“Get out of my way.”

“No.”

Santino stared at him for a long moment, his jaw set hatefully. Then he turned to walk out.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

Through clenched teeth, “The beach.”

Their home was only a short walk from the ocean, and in this mood, Santino could make it there in five minutes. Horrifying scenarios flashed through John’s mind, of Santino walking out into the ocean and never coming back. His heart did a sickening sort of drop. “Why?”

Santino whirled back to him with his chin in the air, the picture of passive aggression and mock innocence. “Salt water is good for healing wounds. You want me to take care of myself so badly? Fine. Maybe I want to go for a swim.”

“That will burn like hell.”

“GOOD. But it’s healthy, so you can’t stop me.”

John practically growled in frustration. He couldn’t argue with that. He just grabbed his coat. “I’m coming with you.”

“You’re not invited.”

“I don’t care. I’m going to make sure you don’t do anything stupid.”

Santino’s scowl softened for a fraction of a second, replaced by something miserable and touched. But then he just growled back, grabbed his swim trunks, and marched out the door without another word.

They were silent on the walk to the beach, with the sun sinking down against the waves in reds and oranges as fiery as Santino’s expression. John began to hope that he’d cool down by the time they got there, but he had no such luck. Santino stripped down immediately and threw his clothes in John’s face. He would have laughed at the pettiness of it if he didn’t know how much pain was raging inside of Santino right now. So he just caught them and folded them neatly over his arm so they wouldn’t get covered with sand. Then he crossed his arms and watched from the edge of the water.

With his shirt off, and then his dressing thrown to the ground as well, John could see the red blooming across the slash on Santino’s side. The wound wasn’t deep at all, but it looked awful. It was long – an arc from the top of his ribcage on the right side to below the navel on the left. And it was still bleeding.

Santino took a first step into the water and already flinched. The evening wind was picking up and it was ice cold. “Maybe you should do this tomorrow,” John suggested. “Like noon? When it’s warmer?”

The very idea of sparing himself any pain seemed to just make Santino even more furious. He only turned back long enough to glare at John and then suddenly dashed forward, until the waves were up to his stomach.

Based on the sound he made, it couldn’t have felt good. It was a kind of yelping scream that he bit off with a long stream of swearing in Italian. John frowned hard. He knew what that felt like – he’d been in the ocean after a job before, by necessity, and it stung something awful. But all he could do was watch helplessly. At least Santino was standing still now, and seemed to be reconsidering. He even took a few steps back until the cut was mostly above the water line again.

But irritation with his own weakness seemed to give him a second wind. He plunged back in, up to his chest this time, and screamed again. This time, John couldn’t tell if it was pain or frustration or self-hatred, because it gave out into sobbing. He was crying so badly that John was worried he was going to double over into the waves. “That’s enough. I’m coming out.” He kicked off his shoes and trousers, set down their things, and waded into the frigid water.

He wasn’t sure if Santino heard him or not, because he didn’t move at all until John’s arms were around him.

“Come on, love. Let’s go back to shore, yeah?”

“No. I-I deserve this.” Santino didn’t hug him back. He just stood there shivering terribly.

“Why?”

“Because I fucked up! They had to punish me. And I’m so angry, John. I’m so angry, and there’s nothing I can do. I can’t even be angry at them. I just have to play nice because I’m powerless and it’s all my fault.”

“No you don’t. You’re allowed to hate them. You don’t have to hate yourself.” He realized they weren’t just talking about The Adjudicator, but about everyone who had hurt Santino. Especially those who he didn’t couldn’t bring himself to hate. His own father. The water swirling around their bodies was deathly cold and John felt himself starting to shake too, but he ignored it and held Santino as close as he could.

For a second, Santino cried harder against him, but it seemed to bring some kind of cathartic release. Finally, he went calm and hugged John back. He seemed drained. “Okay. This hurts too fucking much anyway. Cazzo, I didn’t expect it to be this bad.” His heart was still racing against John’s chest, probably from sheer pain.

“Yeah…I’m not surprised. Let’s go get the salt out, I brought stuff to take care of it so it doesn't hurt as much on the walk home.”

So Santino allowed himself to be led back to shore. John wrapped him in a towel and poured a fresh water bottle over the cut to rinse it. That stung too, and he was already back to whining about the pain, but John didn’t mind. As long as Santino didn’t want to make himself suffer. He kissed him hard. “You didn’t deserve that.”

He melted into the kiss and stayed curled up against his lover, trying to regain some body heat, but he couldn’t bring himself to reply.

“You didn’t, Santino. They did this to you because they’re on a power trip. Because the whole organization runs by making people feel trapped and small, and it pisses me off.”

His answer was slow and very quiet. “Honestly…I don’t want that to be true. If that’s true, then I have to do something about it.”

“Yeah.” John wove his fingers through Santino’s curls and studied his face. He was so precious, so fierce, so full of life. A world in which a person like Santino could be hurt over and over again until he wanted to hurt himself too wasn’t one that John could stand for. “We have to do something about it.”

[hypertic]

I’ve seen a lot of AUs of spiderman/vigilante Ava but the potential vigilante Beatrice has is >>>

like it all begins when Ava, who’s working in a biomed lab late at night, finds Beatrice in the storage room stuffing her bag with medical supplies paying no mind to her bleeding leg (about to leave her entire DNA evidence in a lab) and clearly Ava is shocked.

too shocked to react when Beatrice tackles her and covers her mouth, spreading all her blood on the floor and dropping her bag. the thing is Beatrice is shocked too, so she just stares, at the pretty scientist who’s breathing against her palm.

“This is the part where you say something along the lines of its not what it looks like.” Ava speaks when Beatrice takes her hand off.

“It’s exactly what it looks like though.” her accent is off, ava thinks, not American.

“Breaking and entering, robbery and assault?”

“This is not assault!” Beatrice almost seems offended by it, but loosens her grip around Ava’s shoulder, pinning her down.

“So you admit to breaking and entering?” Ava’s smile is so smug, as if she’s not the one being held down by a criminal. Beatrice doesn’t answer, contemplating her choices. “I don’t care, honestly.”

“What?”

“It’s not my company, not my responsibility, I’m just here doing overtime checking on bacterial growth every 2 hours.” Ava shrugs, and Beatrice believes her.

She wants to believe her. She seems very honest and she doesn’t want to restrain her or anything. She’s also lost some blood and is a little lightheaded.

So Beatrice slumps back, finally releasing ava, who notices the (medium sized) pool of blood underneath the mysterious, masked woman.

“Need help with that?” Ava is teasing but genuine, and Beatrice wonders why she didn’t run out the door. Then she wonders why she didn’t close the door, at least.

Ava scoots closer, her hands hovering over the supplies scattered around the floor.

“So what are you, exactly?” Ava asks, opening a pack of gauze. “Like Spider-Man? With powers and all?”

“No powers.” At this point, Beatrice has decided Ava is not threat.

“But do you fight crime and stuff? I can see your cool stick back there.”

“What makes you think I’m not the crime?” She’s not threatening she’s curious and dumbfounded because who in their right mind would catch a masked person stealing, patch them up and ask if they’re a hero?

“You don’t give evil vibes.” Ava shrugs. “And there’s rumors you know? About a masked figure going around, known criminals showing up cuffed to a lamp post.”Beatrice cheeks blush slightly under the mask and shakes her head.

“So like, a vigilante?” Beatrice doesn’t answer, eventually giving a small nod, her eyes following Ava’s moved closely, who’s finally cleaned the wound. “But no powers?”

“No powers.”

“That’s… dangerous.” Ava’s brows furrow in a mix of concern and awe.

Beatrice doesn’t know what to say, and she’s beginning to realize that only happens around this woman.

“It might need some of those butterfly stitches.” Ava declared, pressing (hard) on the cut right above her leg before tying the bandage around it.

“Thank you.” Beatrice says.

“It’s alright. I’m Ava, by the way.”

“Im Be-.”

“Alright, B, let me pack this up for you and clean up.”

“Are you kidding?” Ava is not kidding, for she starts to wipe the blood off the floor with some alcohol wipes and stuffs the bag with even more supplies, all while Beatrice stares.

“Won’t you get in trouble?” Ava shrugs for the hundredth time, but Beatrice can’t seem to find it annoying (yet).

“Nope, because this was a robbery, and I am a victim.” Ava takes a hand to her chest dramatically. “Go on, I won’t look. But you need to be quick because I’m calling the cops now.” Ava takes out her phone and stares at Beatrice expectantly.

Beatrice just stares back, before grabbing the bag and jumping to her feet, heading for the door and taking one last look back. Ava’s smile is the last she sees of her before sprinting away into the dark.

[iridescentdove]

I don’t know if you already did this but can I request bad men with f!reader that is like Lumine full power. I heard that with new lore drops that the traveler could destroy world’s. I’m also a huge Lumine fan both as the traveler and abyss princess <33333

Chuuya, Dazai, Jouno & Atsushi x Lumine! Reader

(I just chose the characters myself ehe)

Lumine is skeptical but shares the same curiosity her twin has for everything, she's rational and courageous, along with being generous and helpful towards others that need assistance. And most especially, rather beautiful and somewhat quiet, yet considered rather expressive.

As if a primordial being – Lumine holds power able to destroy worlds and travel through them with ease, and yet, most of it having been sealed away by the Unknown God's own bidding. What happens when she regains her full power and travels through the world of BSD?

Fyodor, Ranpo & Sigma Ver.

CHUUYA NAKAHARA:

You probably already stand out enough due to peculiar clothing and ur girlboss appearance 😩

He is literally so confused- you're saying this short blondie saved worlds and can travel through them all and has these Godly powers to DESTROY EVERYTHING?? UM

Okay but he does admit, you're probably full of surprises. And he admires your brave, courageous nature.

ALSO HE'S SO HAPPY YOUR SHORTER THAN HIM AAA

You're honestly a cute little bean, and a very strong one at that too – so you do get along rather well. Plus you got his back whenever he needs help

His pride probably won't allow him to say it but in some cases you're really helpful in various ways.

You one time, said he reminded you of a familiar sketchy ginger in the previous world you visited through, and now he's actually kinda curious.

Tar- Tar- Taglia lover of Snezhnayan Queen

Someone please make me fanart of Childe! Chuuya and Lumine! Reader I will pay you will all of the massive dumpload of fanfics you will ever want to see

I can imagine him just walking into the PM headquarters one day and greeting you with ...

"Hey girlie." 😏 *lip bite* i am sorry

The first time he witnessed your strength wss when you single handedly beat up the fucking hunting dogs without batting an eye?? Hello?? Wtf sis

"(Y/N) WHAT THE FUCK" "This is normal, no worries"

He is very curious to even know about all of the things you've seen and fought across worlds ...

When you tell him you literally beat up God *cough*Raiden*cough* dude's jaw smashed to the ground

Though you're not very talkative, you sure do have some ... interesting expressions. He's floored. Bro and you're smaller than him he delights in pinching your cheeks and ruffling your hair sjsiskak

Even if he's thankful you're around to help, he does feel as if people abuse your kindness way too much ...

So now he's your bodyguard yay! :D

Whichever bitch tryna shred your ass? You bet he's giving this menacing ass aura, readily cocking a fucking gun and slamming them around across with his gravity manipulation

If you're visibly tired and people keep asking for more help? He will snap at them and tell them to leave you alone <3

By the end of the day, this man is just ... so addictive wtf

And in a romantic light also he literally tries to hide his blushing whenever he sees you whether in a new outfit or not LIKE your beauty is Godly fr

I don't make the rules. This Tartaglia 2.0 worships you.

And if you're the abyss princess instead of traveler, he is definitely thinking ur some hot shit. Same Chuuya, I want her to step on me.

Whenever there's nothing to do, he just sits down and listens to you talk about your journey in other worlds.

And whenever he and you go out on missions together and you give him compliments along the way he's floored, and trying not to show how affected he is with them

Hear me out ... praise kink

DAZAI OSAMU:

Okay, you already know the drill. Once this man sees you he's gonna do a fucking double take

HELLO?? YOU ARE ACTUALLY SO GODDAMN PRETTY

Will ask you to do a double suicide. If you're done with bullshit say actually say yes, I think he's dead in love. If you say no with a blank face, this bitch grows desperate

Well either way he's gonna fucking love you so why not

Did assume that you definitely weren't from this world, just not really the full detail. So he got curious.

Your journeys from different world intrigued him, and the fact you were basically an actual shooting star. Just soaring through the sky away from all the shit like aight m8

But you'd bet this is Dazai, so of course he wants to go see you in action.

After all, you are kinda like, God-level strong.

So why not? You know he wouldn't be too surprised, but he's gonna go apeshit the moment he sees you take on like freaking all PM executives at once and stuff.

HE DID NOT EXPECT YOU ACC TAKE THE DARE LOL

But it didn't really matter because you did somehow manage to defeat them. And literally with your full power? Hello the city is shaking 😐

Chuuya was boutta use corruption but he got smacked into the 6th dimension before he even blinked HAHA

You're so done with everything. His double suicide offer still stands y'know, it's not that late.

Bet he dragged you into the mersault prison drama

... He's smart as hell, we all know this bitch can prepare for an event that isn't even happening yet in 171919 years

... But ..l did you just ... beat him in a game of chess?

No you ate the chess pieces whenever he blinked

Okay well great- at least the agency has an OP new member that can fucking traverse to another dimension-

If you were abyss princess, he's down on his knees begging you to choke him zaddy can't stay still 😩

Thinks it's hot

If it's in a romantic light, you can take a guess. You both do get rather close – and you're one of the very few he trusts because of how helpful and trustful you are.

It will take some time but he'll show you the reason behind his bandages. You can sense some anxiety in his expression, a vulnerable state for the first time.

But the fact you just accept it? He's over the moon <3

Dazai will not accept from bullshit from other people. Any disrespect directed to you, he's boutta go Dark Era on them so just pray he don't do that unless you want to, simp.

You can tell he'll just ... go over his loneliness all over again when you decide to travel through a new world and leave.

But of course, you assure him you'll return to visit :)

Yay! ✨️

Rest assured you're not gonna let him go through that pain, so if you dare even think of leaving him

I'm sending my homies after you.

JOUNO SAIGIKU:

You'd bet he's a bit skeptical at first, he's not sure whether he can believe a story like that at all 💀

But the thump of your heartbeat begged to differ, because you actually weren't lying. So I guess now he's just kind of curious about your existence. and your powers

As for your beauty this man is blind asf bro what u expect

So even though he has no idea how you look like, he can still bet your gorgeous and he's obviously right.

As per part of the Hunting Dogs, they all have their own individual beliefs on justice. And because you're prone to helping others a lot, he actually appreciates it.

Won't abuse your kindness though, he doesn't really ask for help. Unless they're in an actual dire situation.

Plus you strong asf so 🗿

Although he's busy, both ya'll can take some time for some peace and just chit chat. Honestly, this man wants to know the deets like c'mon spill the tea sis

He's probably interested in whatever you have to say abour Teyvat, especially Fontaine. I can feel it

I mean it's the nation of justice bro what else

Jouno will sit down, listening to your tales about Fontaine and the God of Justice – (he's fucking flabbergasted knowing it was a bratty child who is like shorter than you)

No fr he did not expect that shit 😭

"Also she's really short" "Really now?" "She's like a bratty child who almost got assassinated while playing with cats" "A ... A child?" "Yea and dramatic" "(Y/N), whAT"

This man would probabpy do a double take and question even the existence of Gods. HOO BOY

"... You're telping me the Gods there are broke and et bullied by their own people 24/7" "Yeah"

Let's just say he's now questioning life.

But then again, anything is possible now so he just rolls with it and enjoys his time with you.

Don't tell me he doesn't enjoy lesrning more about your powers and how useful it can really be to the Hunting Dogs.

Once he decided to spar with you, because his patience was wearing thin and he really wanted to know how far the heights of your power could stretch.

He was fairly sure that it wouldn't be an easy win, but he really thought he'd win. Lol.

He was all ready and stuff, slowly unsheathing his sword as you and him clashed ways.

... After that, he promised himself as he was nearly buried six feet under.

Nah most especially if you were the abyss princess because this man literally won't last. He'd actually put up a really good fight, he's strong as hell.

But still, he plummets to the ground like Odasaku.

... Never again, I assume.

ATSUSHI NAKAJIMA:

You and him met when he was running errands after being told forced by Dazai.

Holy shit he looked so tired. He was sweating as he ran back and forth across multiple shops and streets. Being you, you went over to give him a helping hand.

Canonically Atsushi's type is someone kind and patient, so he just was actually rather happy.

Congrats for being friends with the furry 😍

He adores how nice you are for being a helping hand, and he admires your bravery honestly. That shit is what keeps him going on the daily

No but fr you were so PRETTY too. And innocent looking

So imagine he does a fucking 180° when he sees you casually coming into the agency to help them beat up the Port Mafia?? SINGLE HANDEDLY HELLO

He's beginning to rethink everything he thought about you. Ok cool, you travel through worlds, fought God, is strong a–

... Wait a minute 😐

He nearly passed out from the amount of sheer info dump that you gave him. He's beyond shocked.

But also happy you're there to help. He trusts you and just loves everything about you. You're pretty blunt and quiet, but you're courageous and have cute facial expressions.

Chub squishy cheeks uwu

He literally would not ask for anything more. And you have some interesting things to talk about!

Atsushi is intrigued in the types of things you faced and the places you've visited. The fact you're literally bullshitting through and brave enough to face God himself??

You probably went through stuff. He respects you sm.

He's like a little kid all over again, sitting down with his knees to his chest as he listens to you talk about Tevyat.

You'd just be doing something in the far corner like fucking fantasizing on killing Timmie's pigeons again and he's just

Heart face emoji 😍

No matter what you do, Atsushi honestly believes in you and he knows you're of really good help. The agency welcomes you with open arms.

Bro he's just in love leave him be. Furries still need that love and attention bbg

Ngl since abyss princess is more stoic and somewhat intimidating boy is tryna stay away from you lmfao

"Not a second Akutagawa!" bitch 🗿

Yet we all know this man cannot stay away from you. You bet he's right there 24/7, admiring you and protecting you with his life.

Pet him in his tiger form pls 🤲

[moonstruckme]

Face Masks

summary: you discover that if there's one thing your friend Steve is a giant nerd about, it's skincare

Steve Harrington x fem!reader ♡ 973 words

You knock on Steve���s door for the second time, peering into the closest window tentatively. You’d been supposed to go see him at work to drop off the cassette you’d borrowed, but you could’ve sworn his shift ended at eight tonight, not five. When you’d gotten there, Robin had told you with a shrug that you should be able to find him at home, but he wasn’t answering the door. 

You glanced behind you, just to make sure you hadn’t hallucinated his car in the driveway. He wouldn’t ignore you on purpose, would he? You haven’t known Steve long, but you consider him a good friend, and he always seems to treat you with a tenderness he doesn’t quite show to his other friends, even Robin. He finds excuses to hold your hand and calls you “honey” and smiles at you in this soft way that makes your insides turn to mush. You don’t think Steve’s the sort of guy who does all that for show, being sweet and flirty in front of his friends and then ignoring you when it’s just the two of you. That’d be…you can’t believe that about him. 

You decide to give it one more try before going home, but your knuckles barely make contact with the door before it’s swinging open. “What?” Steve snaps, then blinks, his eyebrows shooting high as he spots you. “Shit, sorry, honey, I didn’t mean to yell at you. I thought you were the postal service or something.” 

“I…it’s okay.” You’re staring at him, you know, but you can’t make yourself stop. You could probably blame it on the shock of having him spook you like he’s just done, but it may also be due to another surprise. “You’re wearing a headband.” 

He looks skyward as if he’ll be able to see it, then back to you with a half-defensive expression. “I, um…yeah.” He shrugs. “I am.” 

“I brought your cassette,” you explain yourself dumbly, still somewhat mystified. “Also, you have…dirt on your face?” You reach out to brush some of the brown clots off his cheek, but he bats your hand away. 

“It’s exfoliant,” he says, rolling his eyes. “I was rinsing it off when you knocked.” He turns from you and goes back inside, but leaves the door open for you to follow. You do, curious, and trail him all the way to his bathroom sink, where Steve bends at the waist, splashing water on his face. 

“Stevie,” you guffaw, staring in astonishment at the products lined up on his counter. “Is all of this yours?”

“Yep,” he says, patting his face dry with a towel. “Laugh all you want, but all this?” He gestures with a circular motion to his face. “It doesn’t just happen. It takes work. A process.” 

You hold your hands up innocently, but a smile plays at your lips. “Hey, I respect it. Whatever makes you look like this is good with me.” 

Steve quirks an eyebrow at your abnormally explicit flirtation. “Yeah? Good, because it’s all for you, honey.” 

Your face warms, and you’re quick to change the subject. “So, what does it do? The exfoliate?”

“Exfoliant,” he corrects you. “It gets rid of any dead skin and leaves your face smooth.” 

You nod pensively. You have always thought Steve had unnaturally soft, glowy skin. 

“And this,” he says, picking up another bottle from the counter and squirting a small amount onto his finger tip. “Is moisturizer. It’s supposed to be anti-aging, so I’ll stay looking like this forever.” 

You laugh as he rubs it into his skin. “Great, so the rest of us are just supposed to get old and ugly and you’ll still look like you’re in your twenties?”

“Pfft, as if you could ever be ugly.” Steve waves you off. “If you wanna try some for fun, though, you’re welcome to.” 

You roll your eyes at him, holding out your palm, but he pumps the product into his own hand again, using his fingertips to smooth it onto your face. You stretch your neck for him as he works it under your jaw, and you’re sure he sees your nervous swallow. 

“It feels nice,” you say once he’s done, touching your fingers to your cheek. Your eye catches on another bottle. “What’s that one do?”

Soon you’ve been exfoliated, toned, and are laying on Steve’s bed with a goopy mask covering everything but your eyes. 

“Smells pretty,” you murmur, careful not to move your mouth too much as Steve comes to lie beside you, his own mask in place. 

“It’s watermelon-scented,” he replies. “Supposed to brighten.” 

You don’t really understand how your skin can brighten (is that the glowy thing?), but you’re enjoying this time with Steve, and the pleasant scents are an added bonus. 

“Could I maybe do this with you again?”

Steve grins at you, not seeming to care as his face mask globs a bit around his mouth. “Totally! I do this once a week, but I have dry skin. We could make you your own skincare routine and everything. It’ll be fun!” 

You smile back at him, endeared and a bit surprised by how into this he seems. “Okay, what would I need to do?”

“Well, first we have to figure out what kind of skin you have. Have you noticed if you get oily?” You shake your head cluelessly. “That’s okay. We’ll figure that out, and then plan out your regimen from there. I’m thinking a clay mask, exfoliant of course, maybe an overnight serum…”You listen to him ramble on, not really following and beginning to get the sense that a lot of your paycheck is about to go towards this new routine. Anything that means you’ll get to see Steve this excited, though—anything that means you’ll get to see Steve, period—is definitely worth it.

[strangerthings-01]

High as a kite

Plot: When you’re over at eddies house, you watch him roll up a joint and curiosity takes over. Eddie guides you through smoking weed for the very first time.

Warnings: slight cussing, mentions of weed. (Clearly)

I’m working on kind of a long story so I’m trying to write shorter ones to keep up my page since I’ve been gone so long. I hope you enjoy, my friends. 🩷

💜💜

Almost everyday after school, you and Eddie go back to his trailer to hang out and by hang out, kissing and you know what occurs. Usually he smokes a joint or two and everytime he offers you a hit and everytime you decline. You had never smoked weed before and if you were being honest, it kind of scared you. You knew it couldn’t really hurt you but drugs has never been something you ever considered doing.

“It’s a natural plant babe. Safest one out there.” He would always reassure you but it still never wavered your concern. He never pressured though. He would ask you each time he rolled up a joint because he figured one day you night change your mind but once you said no, he would drop the subject. He was good like that. You couldn’t believe he was yours.

Eddie was naturally funny. He could always make you smile or laugh no matter what mood you were in. But when he was high, you would always be clutching your stomach from laughing so hard. He was fun to be around and wasn’t different from when he was sober. You liked that.

Your curiosity about the plant had started to grow stronger the more you were exposed to it. You wondered what you would be like high. Would you be freaked out? Happy? Giggly? Probably all of the above. So when you and Eddie were hanging out again on a Saturday night, cuddled in bed, you finally caved.

He was rolling his joint up for the night and you watched him. You were in awe at his quickness as he used his fingers to stuff it and how his tongue flitted over the paper to close it up. You chewed on your lip, anxious to tell him you wanted to try it. Once he finally finished rolling it up, his eyes met yours and a grin formed on his face. “You good baby? You look nervous and entertained at the same time.” A deep chuckle came from his throat.

Your fingers intertwined with each other, something you did when you were apprehensive. “Yeah. I think I want to try to smoke tonight.” He had looked away to grab something but when those words came out if your mouth, you had never seen him turn so fast. “Wait really? Are you sure?” You smiled and nodded, your body shifting so you were facing him completely, your legs crossed. “Yeah. I’ve been curious about it lately and it’s a Saturday so I’ll have time to sleep it off.”

He smirked and reached over to grab a lighter. He grabbed the one you got for him randomly one day. It was a white lighter and had an outline of a couple printed on it. You thought it was super cute considering you guys were together. He loved it. “I didn’t pressure you, did I? I don’t want you to feel like you have to.”

You quickly reassured him. “No no of course not. But I am really nervous. What if I freak out?” He reached over and rubbed you knee. “I’m right here. I won’t let anything happen to you.” Despite your foreboding, there was no one else you could trust more than him. “Okay.” You stated in finality. “Fuck yeah baby girl. I’m happy you’re giving it a try.” Even though he tried his best not to sound too excited, you could tell he was. You knew he had been wanting you to try it.

He put the joint in his mouth and lit the other end, inhaling. You watched the lit side got brighter as he smoked and the smoke that released from his mouth. “It will make you cough since you haven’t done it before so make sure you take deep breaths when that happens. It will get worse if you panic. I do also have a cup of water on the table.”

“Okay.” You gently took the joint from his hand and glanced down at it, not sure how to approach it. “Some people inhale straight to the back of their throat but since you’re new, I would suck it into your cheeks and then inhale so it isn’t as harsh.” You took in his advice and put it up to your mouth. You did as he said and then finally Inhaled and exhaled, the smoke blowing in all different directions. You immediately started coughing which was uncomfortable but you made sure to breathe and it went away pretty quickly.

He had watched you the whole time and he looked proud which made you want to laugh. “The taste is so gross.” He laughed and shrugged. “It does but you get used to it. You did good.” You leaned over and kissed him, his response was immediate. “Thank you for being patient and so kind.” He kissed your cheek and gently took it back from you. “I love you. I’d never make you feel rushed or dumb about something.”

After a couple of hits, you started feeling dizzy and lightheaded. The room felt like it was spinning and nothing felt real. Your thoughts were so loud almost like someone was speaking words into your ears. You swore you could hear things outside, far away yet close. Everything felt heightened. You didn’t know why you felt so panicked or why there was so much pressure in your head. “Eddie?” You said softly trying not to freak out. He looked up from his phone and looked over at you. “Yeah? What’s up babe?” You placed a hand on your head and sighed heavily. “I feel so off. My head is spinning or the-the room is?”

He placed his phone besides his pillow not bothering to turn it off as he scooted closer to you. He wrapped an arm around you and stroked you arm, a comforting gesture. “It’s okay. You’re high sweetheart. This is normal.” You looked up at him and took a deep breath. “I’m high? Why does it feel like this?” He couldn’t help but release a soft laugh as he continued his soft touch on your arm. “Because you aren’t used to it. Your brain doesn’t understand what’s going on. Do you want some water?”

You cleared your throat and suddenly realized your mouth was super dry. How did he know that’s what you needed. “How did you-“ He cut you off as he stood up to the grab the water from the table. “Oh baby I’ve been smoking since 7th grade. Trust me. I just know.” You giggled even though it probably wasn’t as funny as it seemed in the moment. He still cracked a smile as he handed you the water. You sipped on it and felt the wet substance coat your mouth. He sat back down and took the glass from you when you were done.

After a couple minutes of silence, you started giggling and your hand went over your mouth. He scrunched his eyebrows as his face turned into a look of amusement. “What’s so funny?” You continued to laugh, a sound that was so contagious to him. “I don’t even know. I think I thought of something but I forgot.” He laughed along with you and shook his head. “You are something else pretty girl.”

You looked over at him and a sudden look of seriousness crossed your features. “You’re so beautiful. I love you.” Before he could respond, you gasped ever so slightly. “I’m hungry.” He snorted and bit his lip. “God you’re everything. Let’s go get you some food.”

You stood up immediately feeling a little wobbly but you gained your footing pretty quickly. “I could eat a mountain of food.” You stated as you walked with Eddie to the kitchen. He chuckled and slapped your ass as they started looking in the fridge for something to eat to satiate the munchies. “Oh I know. We better get a bunch of snacks and bring them back to the room. We’re gonna be here for a while.”

[mykoreanlove]

🍊

You fumbled with your outfit for the 100th time, still annoyed with how it looked.

„Why the fuck did she make us dress up in orange. I look like a giant carrot“, you huffed out in annoyance.

It was your friend‘s birthday which you gladly arrived for. You left the city five years ago and returned on happy occasions like this. Still, you were nervous to meet her new friends. But you were even more nervous about your old friends, especially Minho.

Ever since you moved away your friendship took a downfall. Back then the two of you worked at an agency together. You became inseparable from the get go - he was your confidante, your drinking buddy, your big brother when you needed him. Rumors about you dating circulated all the time but it was just that - rumors. You had no romantic feelings for him, even though he did. Or so you thought.

He never confessed properly but dropped some hints over the years.

You took a last glance into the mirror and sighed defeatedly : „Guess I’m gonna be a carrot for tonight.“

Your friend shot you a message as you were late to the party.

„Girl get your ass here. Minho has already asked about you ;)“

You gulped. He did? Wasn’t he coming with his wife? You thought back to when he first met her. Ironically, she has the same name as you, only spelled differently.

Memories of you sitting at the river flooded your mind. Minho consulted you for dating advice as he usually did.

„So, we went on a date yesterday and well, it happened. We had sex. It was nice, nothing too crazy but I still don’t know where this is going.“

He looked like he had to decide if he wanted to join the army now or wait a little longer.

You smiled benignly. „Break up with her.“

Minho turned to you in shock. „What? I can‘t break up with her the day after we had sex!“

You sighed - was he really that oblivious? „Min, I don’t want you to break up because you finally fucked her but because you have dated her for a while now and you’re totally unimpressed by her. Let her go. She deserves better and so do you.“

He was lost in thought, contemplating his options.

You moved away shortly after which resulted in him getting distant. He was serious with your name doppelgänger as they became an official couple. Maybe you were too quick to judge?

You arrived at the venue and laughed to yourself. Given the different shapes of the guests it was like a gathering of carrots and oranges. You spotted your friend and went over to congratulate her. You chatted about the past while downing sweet orange drinks.

„Have you seen him?“

„Whom?“, you giggled.

„Minho, y/n. Aren’t you curious? He’s right behind you.“

You turned around and spotted your old friend. He still looked handsome, even if slightly older. He was listening to his wife talking, holding on to his cigarettes for dear life.

You caught his gaze and congealed. Minho looked sad. No, that was not it, he rather looked lonely.

You thought back to one of your later visits. Your group of friends was all drinking and talking but somehow you ended up alone with him. Minho started pouring out his heart to you, in desperate need for help. He wasn’t happy with her, he wasn’t happy alone either so what was he to do?

„What’s so wrong with breaking up? And actually looking for someone that makes your heart flutter?“

He downed another shot before he answered. „I’d rather be with her on cloud 4 than on no cloud at all.“

Seeing him now made you realize that life on cloud 4 had to be cruel. As Minho realized that it was you looking at him his whole face lit up and he walked right over to you.

„Y/N!“ He hugged you tightly in his strong arms. „Damn, why are you still so good looking?“

You missed his banter, you missed him even more.

„Shut up, Min“, you laughed. Only then did you notice his wife standing beside him, fuming with jealousy.

In all those years you never actually met her, only heard those stories about her. You wanted to give her a chance so you greeted her casually. „Hey, you must be y/n, I am also y/n - nice to finally meet you!“

The second you stopped talking her soul left her body. She didn’t take your hand, she didn’t say a word to you at all. Enraged she turned to Minho and made a scene.

„Y/N? THAT Y/N? Are you seriously expecting me to party with her like this?“

You had no clue what got her so mad but decided to leave the premise before she would ruin the whole party. You motioned at Minho, whispering „I’m gonna go, Min.“

Only when you turned around were you able to fully grasp the argument.

„You take me to a party where the girl you’ve been in love with for years is also at and expect me to be cool with it?“

You stopped dead in your tracks. Did you hear that right? In love with you? Was she for real? You turned around slowly and faced him concerned. He looked embarrassed - both by the scene his wife made but also by the sudden confession. He never intended on telling you but now the cat was out the bag.

His wife noticed you observing them too which only fueled her anger more. „What are you looking at? Aren’t you ashamed to come here even though I am here? Don’t you know your place?“

Before you could explain yourself Minho spoke up. „She didn’t know.“

„What do you mean she didn’t know? You never told her but you told me?“

Minho looked you straight in the eyes, his gaze as intense as their argument. He didn’t break eye contact when he answered his wife.

„I told you because you are my wife and I planned on sharing my life with you. But maybe that was a mistake.“

He turned around and left. His wife broke down crying, only to be immediately consoled by her friends. Your friend came over and patted you on the shoulder. „Damn, did not see that coming.“

You didn’t either.

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Monday Wonderful fandom. Are you still breathing after that little kiss teaser? Cause I was gonna pass straight out when I saw it haha We are a little over 3 weeks away from S6 premiere. Can you believe it? I need it to be Wednesday already for that trailer. Feels like we've been in this hiatus for years LOL But let's get back to the rewatch eh? Ahhhh the Valentines episode. So much goodness inside this one. From start to finish this ep is glorious. I knew from the promo alone was gonna be fantastic. The ep name is pretty apt. Off we go.

5x16 Exposure

We hit the ground running in this one. Just a glorious shot of them sleeping in Lucy’s bed. The many ways I love this. Clearly he’s living there part time at this point. Staying over more often than not. If the man has a key i’m sure he has a drawer at her place as well. No way he doesn't at this point. My guess is Kojo having lots of sleepovers at Auntie Genny's with the kids too.

I love how peaceful they look in this shot. His body pointed towards her's in slumber. His head is damn near on her pillow. So close to one another. That gravitational pull just innate. Even when Tim is sleeping he is drawn to her. Just the little things that make me squee so very much. The domesticity of this moment has me reeling. As does this entire season for them really.

Unfortunately their peaceful co-habitation is interrupted by Lucy’s phone going off. Tim groans sleepily. Asking who it is? Lucy says she doesn’t know as she goes to answer it. It sounds like a drunk dial. Lucy hops out of bed immediately. Tim reaching out to her side of the bed is so cute all sleepy. I vote for more sleepy Tim. Asking half awake if it was wrong number?

He watches Lucy moving in a panic and the sleep drops from him. Asking her what’s happening? Lucy informs him It was a distress call from a UC she trained with. We see Tim go from sleepy to fierce protector mode quickly. Hopping out of bed ready to back her play. He doesn’t even know what’s going on but he’s there for her. My damn heart. No hesitation whatsoever to back his girl up.

It’s written all over Lucy’s face how much she love this. Her appreciation and love for this man so apparent as he scrambles to join her. She didn’t ask him to and that’s what she’s loving here. He was coming whether she asked for it or not. He’ll always have her back. No matter the scenario. Also never be over the jammies and sharing a bed. I wanna squee into my pillow haha

Something about Lucy driving Tim’s truck that is doing things to me. Like another version of wearing his clothes. I love it sfm. Tim waiting in the backseat with his gun at the ready. Phew lord started off this ep strong af. Lucy jumps right into character. God she’s good at this. She gets Noah out of trouble fairly quickly cause she’s a Queen. Lucy gives Tim the all clear to get out of the truck. Noah walks up and introduces himself to Tim.

Mentioning it was impressive she got backup this fast. Lucy proudly announcing it helped he was sleeping in her bed. Heh. Yeah he was. Noah then puts it together saying he’s THAT Bradford. So many questions stem from this statement I have to say. Clearly Lucy spoke about Tim ad nauseam at UC school. Not only that but the way she spoke about Tim Noah doesn’t seem shocked they’re together now. She clearly wasn’t with Tim during UC school so this is so damn fascinating to me.

I wanna know what she told Noah LOL As does Tim. Saying he’s curious to know what that means… Getting a small taste of some jealous Tim here I don’t hate it. I adore Lucy’s full bodied ‘No!’ in reply to Tim wanting to know more. Gotta love how expressive Melissa is. From her face to her body mannerisms. Why she’s always been the perfect Lucy. Just embodying her so well. Also am I crazy to think that’s Tim’s flannel? Cause looks a little big on Lucy. A girl can dream right? It’s possible...probably isn't but I want it to be LOL

Lucy asks him what they just recused him from? He says ‘The Army of Freedom.’ It’s a militia group born in Victorville. Said his OP started about a month ago. Unfortunately hasn’t been able to breach their inner circle yet. Tim asks if he pushed little too hard tonight? Noah replies maybe…but he had to roll the dice. They’re about to move something big. He’s going to need a local assist.

Tim says he can set up at their station. We then get to see a little more jealous Tim come into play. I don’t hate it everyone. He’s also a little grumpy from the lack of sleep. Ha Not loving the 'hot pants' nickname clearly. Tim then makes the most obvious and dramatic eye roll at end. Clearly not amused by this inside joke of their’s in the least ha It’s ok love, you’re the only hot pants she wants. LOL

Jealously thy name is Tim Bradford in this scene though. He runs the gambit for emotions at the end here. He goes from confused in the cutest way about the nick name, then a little intrigued, but we end with his jealous dramatic eye roll haha I love this man so much. He is tired and over this rescue now. Goodness what a great cold open for them. Whenever we get the cold open usually gonna be a damn good ep.

I’ll never be over how excited they both get when they find each other in the station in this season. Way she speed walks up to him. It’s so cute. Lucy hears the end of Tim’s conversation. All she hears is ‘You’re kidding.’ Lucy asking kidding about what? Tim’s clipped answer throws her off for a moment. But she doesn’t let it deter her too much. Touching his arm sweetly. Saying he left so early. That she had a whole Valentine breakfast planned for them. Gah I love that so much I can’t even stand it.

Of course she did. Damnit Tim why did you leave so early? Tim telling her she was up late he wanted to let her sleep in. Which is very sweet actually. Lucy apologizes but says it was nice to catch up with Noah. Lucy asking ‘We didn’t keep you up did we?’ Tim continues his grumpy short replies. Lucy is picking up on all of your being grumpy vibes. Did you think she wasn’t going notice you beautiful fool?

Love of your damn life knows you better than you know yourself. We get a SECOND sweet arm touch. *squee* Clearly something off with him. So Lucy approaches it with another soft touch to start. Knowing it’ll get his attention. Then sweetly asks if he’s ok? He lies and says he’s fine. Her face saying it all. Knowing he’s lying to her she’s just not sure why… Believe or not this is growth for Tim. His terrible lying showing how much she’s opened him up. He was as closed off as possible when they met. Now he's out here expressing feelings even if he's trying hard not to.

Grey has Tim ride with Lucy and Noah today. Normally they’d be excited to ride together but you can feel the tension above. Mostly from Tim. He is an open book about how he feels about this today. Lucy is more concerned than she is tense in this scene. Wade wants Metro on scene ASAP for this situation. If he’s riding with Lucy and Noah that’ll happen. They’re looking for a random van that has explosive chemicals in it. It was meant for a meth lab Noah’s team took down. Now it’s floating around the city and needs to be found before it does damage.

Another great shot of their day starting in the shop. Reminding me of 5x08 opening sequence. Lucy can see Tim is acting off still. Being Lucy she can’t let that stand. Having no idea it’s her that’s put him in this foul mood. Being the sunshine human she is tries to get him to engage with some UC school stories. I LOVE her putting her hand on the back of his chair. Crossing that invisible line of theirs that existed for years in the shop.

Getting as close to him as possible without actually touching. When Lucy sees the story isn’t working she makes a joke. Then touches his shoulder. Gah it’s so cute. She wants to get him through whatever this is by just loving on him. Trying to get him to smile. Sadly Tim doesn’t respond like she wants. Thought she was going to get the normal sassy reply back from him and nada. Lucy withdraws her hand confused but determined to figure him out.

Lucy brings up Noah’s GF asking if he’s contacted her yet? He says no they broke up. Well that she broke up with him. Noah bringing up the elephant in the room that plagues them the rest of this season. Being a UC and being in a functioning relationship. I do adore Lucy being confident af in front of Noah about it. About them. Saying it depends on the couple.

Basically saying I’m sorry yours didn’t work out but mine will. She is all in and it shows in so many of her comments and decisions. I truly love it so very much. Noah makes a comment that has Tim shifting in his seat. Even turning the grumpy off for a moment. Looking over at Lucy when Noah tells her be a shame if she didn’t take the plunge.

So much being said in the looks above. The ever present issue they struggle to talk about is here. Rears its ugly head for first time since they got together. Gotta love Eric and Melissa’s chemistry especially in moments like this. Communicating so much without saying a damn word. Gah we’re lucky to have them.

This next part is glorious for so many reasons. Angela, Harper, Nolan, Celina and Aaron are all gossiping on an open channel. Tim interrupts because well it’s Tim. He’s already grumpy today so this is last thing he wants to listen to. Angela calling him out for being so damn surly. Because she wouldn’t be his best friend if she didn’t. Saying he should be basking in the glow of new love.

Look at Lucy when Angela says this. Heart eyes for days for that man sitting next to her. As transparent as glass. Celina giving into the continuous gossip asking what they’re doing tonight? I love Lucy snatching the radio out of his hand. Even mad as hell at her he allows it because it’s wifey. Nothing he wouldn’t do for that woman angry or not. Lucy projecting what Tim is thinking. Saying they’re not talking about this on an open channel.

Look at how he has rubbed off on her I love it sfm. Also something about her jumping in and defending his side. *sigh* Gah getting me all in the feels. Also look at the way Lucy is looking at him when she does chastise the group. So in love with that man. Heart eyes nation in this shop. We can also see Tim fighting a proud smile wanting to stay mad. When he’s so impressed with her for doing that. Let’s not discount Noah being chill af in the back. None of this affecting him whatsoever LMAO

Lucy can’t take it any longer and confronts Tim about it. We can see her studying his body language. Noticing how tense he is. He is broadcasting his feelings like a radio station. She knows something is amiss. Deep in her soul she knows something is off with her person. Love the way she is studying him then reaches out with a soft touch. Knowing it’ll get his attention and be an ice breaker into her asking. Her whole demeanor screaming 'Timothy my love what is going on?'

Lucy being as direct but soft as she can in her delivery. Telling him ‘Out with it.’ Tim ridiculous answer of ‘What?’ Like she hasn’t noticed him stewing all damn morning. You’re full of a lot of shit Timothy haha The disbelief on her face is so telling. Asking him what’s wrong with him today? He continues to be short with her. Lucy calling him the hell out on it. In a way only she can.

Noting he hasn’t even called her hot pants once. If Tim wasn’t being such a grumpus he would’ve been all over that. She is so right and knows him so damn well. Then she asks if it’s Noah? Is he jealous? Tim immediately saying ‘No.’ I mean it was a little last night…but it’s definitely not that now. It’s not helping but not the main problem here either.

Tim FINALLY fesses up it’s her he’s mad with. Lucy is taken back but it becomes clear when he brings up Metro. Lucy tries to deny it and Tim gives that disapproving stare he’s so good at. Lucy giving in and saying he was SO miserable riding the desk. That she had to do something for him. Tim then shoots back the optics of it aren’t great for him. Lucy shutting this down asking if it’s fragile male ego thing? I mean it is a little bit. It's not the whole reason IMO (I'll touch on that more later) but it is part of it. Tim has grown leaps and bounds. Truly he has.

But he also still has to deep stubborn steak in him. One built on pride and earning everything he’s ever gotten. This is making him question if he deserves the position he now has. Negative grooves in his brain he still defaults back to. Now I know some may have hated his reaction to this. I won’t lie it wasn’t great. His reaction reminds me of myself pre-therapy. I would shut down and be one worded. Lash out if someone tried to get me to talk. My whole body would emulate frustration and annoyance. Just like he has been. I so relate to him reacting this way.

Once again not the best but the man is still human. Tim has earned everything in his career with hard work and his strong skill set. This was a blow to his ego 100 percent. He’s not admitting to this but it was. Lucy smells BS and is letting him know as much. I love how she holds steady and strong despite his boiling anger. Even making a joke Tim is just mad she solved it better than him LOL I mean she did…Lucy saying ‘We’ just wanted to help. Tim getting more ramped up hearing this. Lucy cracks me up stumbling on her words saying we? I meant Me. Ha smooth…

This scene in his office is *chef’s kiss* I remember being excited this was their first fight as a couple. Because it’s so healthy to be fighting from time to time. Something neither of them had in their previous relationships. This was an important fight for them to have. They come out the other side of it stronger because of it. This is good angst. Productive fighting. I’ll take that any day damn if it moves them forward as a couple. This most definitely did.

Lucy comes into his office ready to confront this problem head on. Their talk in the shop leaving too much left unsaid. Lucy is a lot like me and can't let sleeping dogs lie. She has to clear the air and confront things. I do love her patting herself on the back as she launches into why she did what she did for him. I mean she did spearhead a miracle for him. She just needs him to see WHY she did it.

His anger has clouded that all day and it's part of why she is here now. Tim barely looks up from his paperwork as she starts her explanation. Still so angry about this whole thing. Lucy starts out with saying she gets why he’s angry. He looks up at her finally. Lucy going on a mini rant about why she did what she did. That she did it masterfully (I mean she most definitely did) Kudos to her amazing brain.

Lucy finishes off saying despite all that she shouldn’t have done it behind his back. Tim being a sassy sass pot asks if that was an apology? My goodness Timothy. The salty sass. You can see there is still a lot of seething going on under the surface. Lucy immediately says yes. Tim not seeming less mad just replies ‘All right.’ Her apology feeling like it's made zero difference in his anger about what's happened. Also Lucy's 'Yes' doesn't seem whole hearted either because she's holding back and decides to let it rip instead.

We see this is not sitting right with her. So she backtracks and says ‘No!’ I love her for this. Could've taken his half hearted acceptance but she didn't. Knew it didn't feel right to her. She wouldn't be Lucy if she just let that happen either. Knowing things felt unresolved still and not being able to stand that. The whole purpose of her coming to him was the clear the air. Tim looks exasperated af with her reply. That famous he can't believe she just said that look. He's about to be taken to school and probably knows it.

Lucy launching into exactly why she is sorry but not sorry. I love this fireball of a woman. (So does Tim) That he never would’ve let her work her magic if he knew. She’s not wrong… Same goes for her. If Lucy had known he was taking that desk job she wouldn’t have allowed it. What makes these two dopes so perfect for one another. That she would’ve ended up transferring just to save him from himself. Which was what they were trying to avoid in the first place.

Lucy stands her ground and lets him know this worked out SO much better. I mean it really did. That if he can’t see that she’s sorry not sorry. This is where we see Tim turn the corner. What I love the most about this part is how she stood up so confidently. Strongly stood by her decision on what she did. Her sorry not sorry is perfect. Basically saying ‘I love you, you idiot and I don’t regret doing this for you.’

It’s not the apology that soothes Tim’s anger. No it’s her conviction in why she did this for him. Seeing that fire she has and he is feeling so lucky he gets to have her in his corner. Lucy is 100 percent unapologetically herself in this moment. Her standing up to him is one of the many reasons Tim fell for her in the first place. So naturally her ‘non’ apology is what gets it done. Not her I don’t really mean this but you’re mad at me one.

He loves that woman standing in front of him so much. It shows when she’s done. It’s why he’s smiling at the end of her ‘non’ apology. She is his rock, his compass and his sunshine lighting his path when he needs it. But mostly she is a guiding force in his life. Kicking him back onto the right path whether he realizes he needs it or not. Beautiful thing is she has his back. He’s so not used to this type of love and support. It's a throw back to 2x01 in a way with his reaction to it. How visceral and angry he was then and now. Once again doesn't see her protecting him and helping him as a positive thing. And just like in 2x01 he didn’t see it this way until she stood up. Smacked some sense into him. Let him know why she'd done it.

Doing it this time around because she loves him so much. Only wants the best for him. Let's not forget this man has been put second in all of his other relationships. His needs being put on the back burner to take care of those he loves. Had to suppress his emotions for years. When you let yourself start to feel after years of not it's a tidal wave that drowns you. It's overwhelming really. Luckily Tim has Lucy to drag him to dry land. So when he's taken care of he doesn’t know how to handle it. It's not something you just get used to in an instant. Just like in the beginning with Lucy when she would push him to open up. We got surly angry Tim but he eventually came around. This is no different. He isn’t used to be put first. His gut reaction was hurt and being defensive.

Not oh Lucy did this because she loves me. Because he probably in the back of his mind still doesn't feel worthy of that love still. And although he has grown. So very much. He still isn't used to having someone fiercely love and defend him the way Lucy does. That's why this scene was so important for her to back her decision. To make him see exactly why she did this. It’s why he’s smiling at the end of it. This beautiful, driven fireball is his and she’s in his corner. What’s hitting him is that realization. She put him first and put in a massive effort to do so. Not only for him but for them as a couple. He is so very lucky to have someone as wonderfully understanding as Lucy to love him through these types of moments.

I love how once the dust is settled they just morph back into them. How it should be. Fighting is meant to be cleansing. To confront the issue and then be done with it. Confrontation gets a bad rap. It’s meant to clear the air so both parties feel better after. Her cute. ‘So are we going to dinner or what?’ Haha They already missed her breakfast. She wants to do something with her man.

Tim couldn’t be cuter saying they are. But her outfit is missing a little something. Lucy being very confused by this. Saying 'What?' Then seeing the jewelry box in his hand and melting like butter. Tim could not be cuter handing it to her. Love struck as he gives her his gift. Telling her ‘Happy Valentines Day.’ The biggest grin on his handsome face. Lucy beaming right back at him. Her eyes screaming how much she loves this man.

She is so impressed with him. So impressed she’s shocked he picked this out LOL He knows his girl. Tim is offended asking her if it’s that shocking? Lucy soothing his ego saying ‘No.’ Letting him know he clearly has good taste. I mean he does. He is in love with her after all. He really did a good job. That is the perfect Lucy necklace so he nailed it. The man has noticed a trend is what she wears. Well done Timothy. Your girl is mighty impressed with your gift giving skills. How far you've come since your days with Rachel ha

It’s so intimate and sweet the way he puts it on her. Lucy is radiating joy as he does this. The way she looks at him while he puts it on and slides his hand down to adjust it. *heart clutch* She is revved up and wants to skip dinner now. More than ready to ‘Thank’ him for her gift. I love her being the one to suggest just skipping dinner and having her way with him instead. Tim saying 'No I'm hungry.' Lucy is feeling a little rejected like ‘Oh. Ok..’

Tim doesn’t let that feeling linger for long. Touching her back intimately mentioning she’s gonna need fuel for later. OMG. He just said that and I’m reeling. I rewound it I remember being so damn giddy. Basically saying she needs fuel to keep up so he can have his way with her. Tim Bradford talking about sex in his office. Not only that but they’re gonna have so many rounds he wants her fueled up. *fans self*

Lucy’s face is everything afterwards. She is blushing but also so ready for their night together. Man has some pent up tension to burn off but needs food first LOL Lucy is very ready to go to dinner now. Especially knowing what awaits her when they’re done hehe I can only imagine how antsy she was to get back to either his or her place following that dinner. I love how the writers constantly insinuate their sex life is spicy and active af. I adore it so much. I mean did we really expect anything less? Doesn’t make me love it any less though.

Anyone else just in shock we got all these goodies still? I keep saying feels like a fever dream because it does. In the best way possible. After last episode this was start to finish incredible.

~~~~

Side notes-non Chenford

Wesley accidentally hiring a beautiful woman to guard him is hilarious. A non pregnant Angela wouldn’t be amused. A very pregnant one is ready to wring his neck.

Celina’s murder case gets brought back up. This SL is so good. It was my turning point for her as a character I needed that to care and give her more depth.

I did love how all the couples started off rocky and ended up fine by the end was growing a little from it. I do love Nyla and James so much.

Thank you forever and always to those who like, comment( love dem comments) and reblog these. S5 been so fun to analyze thank you all for still being invested in these all these months later. See you all in 5x17 :)