#used to have these in my garden! they stopped growing a few years ago

[omegalomania]

so im sure everyones fully well aware of the magic 8 ball site fob is using to promote a contest to win some tickets to see them in nashville. the little 8ball widget theyve got in browser is also modeled on the physical 8ball that they had in the vip merch packages for tourdust's first leg, which is cool! but of particular note is the way that, to fill out the contest form, you have to pick your favorite fall out boy songs. and the sheer breadth of what is allowed is...interesting? it's not cohesive by any means, but it is really wild the selection of songs they have here because not all of them are fob songs. in fact, quite a few of them aren't.

i went directly to the source code and got a full list of all possible songs that you could input (which you can check for yourself by right-clicking and selecting "view source"). i'm going to list them here for archival purposes, with a few notes/explanations cause some of these are WILD.

there are 187 songs total listed.

bolded songs indicate songs that are demos or never received an official release

italicized songs are songs by other bands

underlined songs indicate songs that are covers

songs with an asterisk beside them (*) indicate they are from patrick's solo catalogue. two asterisks (**) are for pete's.

additional commentary by me will be [in brackets]

20 Dollar Nose Bleed 27 7 Minutes in Heaven (Atavan Halen) 7-9 Legendary A Little Less Sixteen Candles, a Little More "Touch Me" A Nice Myth [one of the earliest fall out boy demos, found on their first ep, and only the casette version at that] Allie* Alone Together Alpha Dog America's Suitehearts American Beauty/American Psycho (song) American Made Art of Keeping Up Disappearances As Long as I Know I'm Getting Paid* Austin, We Have a Problem Baby Annihilation Bad Side of 25* Bang the Doldrums Beat It Big Hype* Bishops Knife Trick Bob Dylan Bounce [this is a song that came out on then-Decaydance labelmates The Cab's debut record, Whisper War, which patrick produced. he has writing credit and also is credited with background vocals (and also shows up in the music video)] Caffeine Cold Calm Before the Storm Centuries Champagne for My Real Friends, Real Pain for My Sham Friends Champion Check Your Phone** Chicago is So Two Years Ago Church City in a Garden Coast (It's Gonna Get Better)* Coffee's for Closers Cryptozoology* Cute Girls* Cyanide** [this is a nothing,nowhere song that pete did some spoken word parts and backing vocals on] Dance Miserable* Dance, Dance Dead on Arrival Dear Future Self (Hands Up) Death Valley Deep Blue Love* [song patrick did for the indie short film "spell"] Demigods Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes Don't You Know Who I Think I Am? Electric Touch [the (in?)famous taylor swift song patrick featured on] Eternal Summer Everybody Wants Somebody* Explode* Fake Out Fame Less than Infamy Favorite Record Fellowship of the Nerd [this is an alternate title for world's not waiting, as far as i can tell] Flu Game Flu Game [yes flu game is listed twice for some reason] Footprints in the Snow [demo from the Llamania ep] Fourth of July From Now on We Are Enemies G.I.N.A.S.F.S. Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying (Do Your Part to Save the Scene and Stop Going to Shows) Ghostbusters (I'm Not Afraid) Golden Grand Theft Autumn/Where Is Your Boy Greed* Grenade Jumper Grow Up and Be Kids [this song is on The Cab's sophomore album Symphony Soldier, which release after they left decaydance. nonetheless, pete does have some writing credits on it. give it a listen and you'll hear for yourself in the first 10 seconds or so] Growing Up Hand Crushed by a Mallet [this is a remix of the 100gecs song of the same name; patrick did some vocals for it] Hand of God Have I Got a Gift for You* [song patrick did for the horror movie black friday] Headfirst Slide into Cooperstown on a Bad Bet Heartbreak Feels So Good Heaven's Gate Heaven, Iowa Hold Me Like a Grudge Hold Me Tight or Don't Homesick at Space Camp Honorable Mention Hot to the Touch, Cold on the Inside Hum Hallelujah I Am My Own Muse I Don't Care

I Got Nothing, But You Got Something [this is the one that really perplexes me. there's no evidence of this song actually existing, other than an unverified genius post and an article on a single fandom wiki. it is inexplicably listed here despite its very existence being questionable at best.]

I Slept with Someone in Fall Out Boy and All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me) I'm Like a Lawyer with the Way I'm Always Trying to Get You Off (Me & You) I've Been Waiting [this is technically a lil peep song with fall out boy as a feature] I've Got a Dark Alley and a Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth (Summer Song) I've Got All This Ringing in My Ears and None on My Fingers Immortals Irresistible It's Hard to Say 'I Do', When I Don't It's Not a Side Effect of the Cocaine, I Am Thinking It Must Be Love Jet Pack Blues Just One Yesterday Lake Effect Kid (song) Lake Shore Drive [this is a song patrick covered on the piano at wrigley, first night of tourdust] Love from the Other Side Love Will Tear Us Apart Love, Selfish Love* Love, Sex, Death Lullabye Mad at Nothing* Miss Missing You Moving Pictures My Heart Is the Worst Kind of Weapon My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark (Light Em Up) New Dreams [this is a bonus track on pax am days, a naked rayguns cover] Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner Novocaine Of All the Gin Joints in All the World One of Those Nights [another song from the cab's whisper war. this one has patrick doing vocals very prominently] Open Happiness [this was a huge collaborative piece done for a coca cola commercial. patrick was on it along with big names like cee lo green, janelle monae, and labelmates travie mccoy and brendon urie] Our Lawyer Made Us Change the Name of This Song So We Wouldn't Get Sued Parker Lewis Can't Lose (But I'm Gonna Give It My Best Shot) Past Life [llamania ep] Pavlove People Never Done a Good Thing* Porcelain* Pretty in Punk Rat a Tat Reinventing the Wheel to Run Myself Over Roxanne Run Dry (X Heart X Fingers)* San Diego [this is a blink-182 song that patrick did some writing for] Saturday Saturday Night Again* Save Rock and Roll (song) Sending Postcards from a Plane Crash (Wish You Were Here) She's My Winona Short, Fast, and Loud Snitches and Talkers Get Stitches and Walkers So Good Right Now So Much (For) Stardust (song) So Sick [this is a song patrick has exclusively covered live, so it's a fascinating inclusion] Sober [another blink-182 song patrick did some writing for] Sophomore Slump or Comeback of the Year Star 67 Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea Sugar, We're Goin Down Summer Days (song) [this is a martin garrix song patrick lent some vocals to] Sunshine Riptide Super Fade Switchblades and Infidelity Tell That Mick He Just Made My List of Things to Do Today The "I" In Lie* The (After) Life of the Party The (Shipped) Gold Standard The Carpal Tunnel of Love The Kids Aren't Alright The Kintsugi Kid (Ten Years) The Last of the Real Ones The Mighty Fall The Music or the Misery The Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes The Phoenix The Pink Seashell The Pros and Cons of Breathing The Take Over, the Breaks Over The World's Not Waiting (For Five Tired Boys in a Broken Down Van) This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race This City* Thnks fr th Mmrs (song) [for some reason the site specifies song here, despite that not being necessary. the only other times this distinction is relevant is when songs share a title with their albums, i.e. save rock and roll] Thriller Tiffany Blews Twin Skeleton's (Hotel in NYC) Uma Thurman Untitled 1 (Colorado Song) Untitled 2 (Jakus Song) [both of these are recently released tttyg era demos] W.A.M.S. We Didn't Start the Fire We Don’t Take Hits, We Write Them [this is a song that famously was only ever performed live. we don't have a studio recording or even a demo, as only live versions exist] We Were Doomed from the Start (The King is Dead) West Coast Smoker What a Catch, Donnie What a Time To Be Alive What's This? When I Made You Cry* Where Did the Party Go Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) Wrong Side of Paradise [llamania ep] XO You're Crashing, But You're No Wave Young and Menace Young Volcanoes Yule Shoot Your Eye Out

in conclusion i have no idea who compiled this list. it doesn't include every song patrick and pete have ever touched (notice the lack of gym class heroes, cobra starship, and hush sound discography) but it has a really weird selection of songs. i mean, blink songs patrick wrote on?? its bizarre.

anyway do you think if we mass request swing me by the rafters they'll have to do it

[miasbby]

indefinitely ours.

(teacher!reader x teacher!Ellie x Abby)

summary : You're not willing to date nor looking for anyone, but Ellie Williams, the art teacher working in the school that hired you a year ago, is making you seriously doubt that decision. With her flirting, praises and constant touches, you're all but ready to give up and ask her out. That is, until you meet her girlfriend, Abby, who to your greatest shock seems very… curious about you.

word count : 7.2k (sorry)

note : this is my first fic in the tlou fandom ever, so it'll hopefully be good and i hope the characterization is okay! i wrote this to practice writing shorter fics and failed.... it probably won't get a part 2 but who knows!

warnings : smut with a bit of plot, female anatomy reader, occasionally mean!ellie and mean!abby but they love you<3, light objectification, degradation and exhibitionism, mention of anal, alcohol use and light intoxication, sub!reader, consent is respected but there’s a few bold moments, bit of a housewife kink, crying from overstimulation, threesome.

●○●○●○●○●○●

An ordinary life is not what most aim for, but you have to be honest in that regard: there’s nothing you’ve craved to achieve more than the simple peace of life, a peace often found in modesty yet sought in extravagance. 

The primary school you joined last year has fulfilled that goal in more ways than one, allowing you the safety of a job you spent years dreaming of, a kind group of colleagues that have befriended you ever since you first arrived, and a class made up of the most adorable group of pupils, all eager to learn and earn the good graces of their favorite teacher judging by how the blue of your classroom’s walls are now entirely hidden by drawings. It’s on the outskirts of the city, in a cute area where prices had not soared just yet when you first bought a house, and the neighborhood couldn’t be more welcoming. 

Your time is well-spent: between preparing lessons, finding original ideas to keep a hyperactive group of six years old entertained, taking care of the renovations your new house still requires, and caring for a vegetable garden you did not expect to grow so well, it’s safe to say that you don’t have much time left for anything else, and that includes a relationship. You haven’t been looking, really, happy to settle down on your own until life picks up a slower rhythm and to make friends rather than losing yourself in back and forths. Your previous relationships were never particularly fulfilling and often ended up being on and off until you got tired of the uncertainty. You’re done with all of that. 

The only person that could make you doubt the choice of celibacy, however, currently has her back turned to you, rummaging through a tiny box of chalk sticks on her desk. The kids are out at lunch and you know she tends to eat on her own in here instead of the break room where all of the teachers often meet up. Of course, you only chose to come get her because she’s been a good friend, not because of any ulterior motive…

“Planning to stay hidden in there for long or are you going to come out and eat?”

Ellie doesn’t even appear startled and you wonder if she could somehow sense your presence by the door. She throws the tiny, useless pieces in the trash, reminding you to filter through your own box of it, and turns to face you with that eternally smug smile, leaning back against the side of her desk. It’s a mess, but that’s not surprising coming from Ellie. Whether it’s because she’s the art teacher in charge in the school or because that’s simply in her nature, you’re not sure, but you know to no longer be shocked by the sight of paper and paintbrushes thrown randomly on her desk. 

“Planning on distracting me for much longer or is that gonna stop at some point?” she answers back. “You can’t come in here looking like this and seriously expect me to think of lunch.” 

And that is exactly why Ellie is making you reconsider your opinion on dating. 

If it weren’t for the constant light flirting you still don’t know how to read into, you think that handsomely sweet face would have convinced you anyway. It’s not that Ellie is your style, it’s that you’re convinced no one on this planet could be more attractive to you. Today’s look isn’t helping either: that opened cargo shirt barely hides the simple white tank top she must own in four identical copies and doesn’t do much to conceal the tight, sculpted lines of her arms, blues veins running down to paint-stained fingers. 

Oh, if only you could stop thinking about how they’d feel dipping into the heat spreading from your clit down to your entrance, filling an emptiness that rings between your legs as much as it does in your heart. Unfortunately, such luck cannot be granted to you. Not yet, and perhaps not ever. 

“You’re not flattering yourself out of coming with me.” You slide your hand down to the doorknob and motion for Ellie to follow you out, but she shakes her head, grabbing her phone in the back pocket of her jeans.

“Sorry,” she says, smile dropping with hesitation before she continues. “The girlfriend forgot her lunch at home and I’ve gotta go get it for her. But I’ll see you tonight, we’re still grabbing drinks with the team, right?”

You blink, cheeks straining from the efforts required to keep your smile up even as it turns dishonest, and try to make sense of the word she just uttered, any heat in your belly extinguished by an ice storm. Did she say girl friend or… girlfriend? Why would anyway refer to their friend that way, though… Stop lying to yourself, you got the meaning right on the first try. 

Your heart does not break per se, but it skips a few beats you’re incapable of missing. In the few months you got to know each other, Ellie never mentioned a girlfriend nor did she introduce anyone to you. 

Well, there goes your only temptation for a relationship. Celibacy it will have to be.

“Of course. See you tonight.”

If Ellie notices the light dim in your eyes, she doesn’t show. 

—

That evening, you hesitate until the very last second about going home and finding a new show worth obsessing about or going out as promised. Ellie doesn’t give you much of a choice, however, when she shows up in your classroom right after the last student filters out with his father and pulls you out of your seat, refusing to take no for an answer. 

(If it’s the request that convinces you or the strong hold she has on your wrist, you’re not sure. But you still let her tug you to your car anyway.)

The ‘team’ as referred to earlier consists of five other teachers whose classrooms are all sharing a hallway with yours and with whom you spend your Friday evenings in a local beer bar next door, a place Ellie first dragged you all into when you were still relative strangers, to celebrate your arrival. Your usual table is free when you arrive, Mel and Ellie right behind you, and you suppose a beer might be the best way to forget about your stupid little crush and the shame eating at your insides for having taken friendly banter as flirting for months now. 

Overall, the night is fun, and after a few well-placed jokes at your expense, you finally manage to leave what happened earlier behind and enjoy yourself. Unfortunately, whatever superior being out there who’s decided you should, after a year of knowing each other, finally get to know all about Ellie’s girlfriend, is not on your side today. 

“Oh, hey Abs!” Mel waves behind where you and Ellie sit, still somehow pressed up against each other, and your friend immediately brightens up, turning around to face someone. “Have you finally decided to join us? I thought you’d never leave that work of yours for even one night a week.”

“Maybe next week if she forces me to come.” The woman comes into view and immediately rests a hand on Ellie’s shoulder, smirking down at her before her eyes travel to you and stay locked onto your own for one second too long for it not to feel somehow… knowing. “But nah, I only got here to take Ellie home. I bet she drank too much to drive and that none of you would have been able to convince her not to take her car.”

Mel laughs, joined by the others, and even you have to agree on that. Ellie is particularly stubborn on the average day, but she gets even worse after three beers and a few shots. 

“I’m fine, come on… I could drive on my own, a few beers have never killed me.” 

The problem is, she says that while stretching an arm over the booth seat, enveloping your shoulders and tugging you closer to her side, and the only explanation for doing that in front of that literal goddess-looking muscle-paradise girlfriend of hers has to be the alcohol. ‘Abs’ raises a curious eyebrow but her smile never dies, and you look away to focus on the bottle clutched in your hand, guts turning into a mix of nervousness and shame that does not blend well with alcohol.

Abby stays around for a bit. The whole time, her eyes remain on you, taking in the features of your face, sweeping over your figure and translating what you would interpret as unabashed attraction if it came from anyone else. It’s like she’s trying to memorize your face, your body, your soul. Like she means to lay an invisible mark on your heart you’ll feel with every beat, right next to the one Ellie has unconsciously placed there long ago. 

The arm only leaves its place on your shoulders when who you now know as Abby urges Ellie to go, and you leave soon after, sitting in the dark of your car for five minutes before your head clears enough for you to drive. 

That was… definitely something. But you could unfortunately not explain what in any way.

-

The next time you see Abby does not offer any sort of clearer explanation as to why the mood always seems odd around you and Ellie, and particularly so when she’s there with you. 

She comes around for drinks for the first time in months the following week and turns your offer to change seats down, seemingly fine with sitting next to you, her girlfriend on your other side. Her presence warms the hearts of everyone around the table but yours, stressing you out beyond sanity. You know you didn’t do anything wrong and that it’s probably a good thing that you learned of Ellie’s seemingly very joyful and fulfilling relationship now rather than after an attempted kiss or a date proposal. Yet, you cannot help but feel unsure around her - like she knows, like she can read through your heart and flick through its pages until its secrets have been bared. 

Abby never talks to you nor mentions you in her conversations, yet, she’s always got an eye trailed on your figure, always silently insists on you being aware that you’re taking all of her attention. 

And Ellie, well… Ellie has not changed, and that’s probably where the actual problem lies. 

She still smiles at you with that signature smugness you know is only reserved for her girlfriend. She still flirts and teases and touches, still makes comments about how prettily you blush and how well that shirt fits you and you never know what to answer to any of those things. This time again, one of her arms is spread over your shoulders, her fingers fiddling with the fabric of Abby’s shirt on your other side, and if anyone were to look, they’d probably think you’re dating either of them - if not both. 

Your thoughts are interrupted by her voice, and you almost let go of the glass of water you requested earlier when its now familiar murmur tickles your ear. “I like this skirt. Is it me you got it for? I’m sure Abby would like it just as much.”

Poorly disguised shock shines in your eyes but Ellie appears unphased, not even bothering with a glance at where her girlfriend listens to Mel vent about a fight between two of her students. You clear your throat, avoiding the heaviness of her stare, and shake your head timidly, scared to voice out your thoughts or to be heard. The fabric isn’t anything short per se, but it rode up your thighs through the night, and you’re suddenly far too aware of where Abby’s glances might have led to earlier. Ellie’s only response is a chuckle. 

You think that’s the end of it but that’s without counting on the end of the night - when everyone leaves but Ellie insists you stay around some more, and Abby doesn’t show any interest in moving away, her thighs spread and pressing you further into Ellie. The arm behind your back moves and this time, you can’t control the way your body jumps when she places a hand just above your knee, stroking the tight fabric of your skirt. 

“So,” you begin, trying to break the silence. “How long have you two been together?”

Abby takes a swing of her beer and your eyes follow the bulging muscle of her biceps until Ellie reminds you of her presence by patting your thigh affectionately. “Three years now. We met when Abby came around the school to renovate the gym with her crew and ended up moving in two months later. She’s a carpenter.”

“Oh,” you exclaim, interested but also still very much nervous. “That’s definitely helpful to have around at home. How long have you been doing this for?”

It’s the first time you address her directly and the kindness you’re met with feels almost surprising. You don’t think you would be kind to someone your girlfriend is two inches away from touching inappropriately right under your nose, but you suppose you should be glad that’s the case here. 

“Ever since I was a kid, really. Being a carpenter didn’t exactly fit my father’s plans but he always encouraged me anyway when I saw how much fun I had fixing things and building my own. What about you? What got you to into teaching?”

Tension leaves your back altogether when her answer reflects the smile perched on her lips and the mirth shining in her eyes. “Children, really. It started with babysitting and then all I could think about was teaching.”

Abby’s eyes dip down to your lips. “That’s cute.”

“I told you she’s adorable,” Ellie interrupts. “And beautiful too, isn’t she? I knew she’d be your type.”

Your lips part to speak but before a protest can slip past them, Abby nods, smile turning almost predatory. “I’d say she’s your own just as much. You’ve always liked your girls a bit innocent.”

“I’m not-”

“Can you blame me, though?”

Abby pretends to think for a second and gets that knowing look again, reading through the blush spreading up to your ears and the fast ups and downs of your chest in ways you fail to understand yourself. Everything’s going too fast, like a ball bouncing from one side of the court to the other, and it suddenly feels like they’re discussing you, praising you, without even including you in the conversation anymore. 

“No. I think I understand.”

Ellie chuckles, inching her hand higher up on your lap, and she allows the silence to persist for a moment longer before standing up to order another round for you. Abby never looks away. You’re still trying to comprehend what just happened, still failing to make sense of why your friend’s partner is staring at you like she’s considering the interest of throwing you over the table dirty with food crumbs and alcohol spills and flexing those fingers inside of your cunt instead of playing with the tip of her bottle. 

“Oh, you’ve got some crumbs here,” Abby says, eyes flicking down to wear your shirt wraps tightly around your chest. You follow her line of sight, wondering how that could be when you didn’t eat any of the fries they ordered earlier, and find nothing. “Here, I’ll get them off for you.”

Before a word of gratefulness can echo between the two of you, your lips part in shock, a hand positioning itself right above your breast and arching a curious eyebrow, staring into the depths of your eyes. There’s no hesitation in the action, but rather a sort of anticipation you find yourself trapped into. “Is this alright?” she asks, the “Yes,” out by your lips before you can even make sense of what she means.

Deep down, you know what it means. Deep down, you’ve got a feeling Abby might have been familiar with you far before your recent introduction. 

Once your agreement has been voiced, Abby startles you, immediately aiming for your right breast and gripping it with the whole length of her palm. A thumb rubs at soft skin only hidden by the light fabric of your shirt, almost transparent, not thick enough to act as a proper barrier, and you can feel it all - the heat of her hand, its roughness, how it’s thick enough, big enough to effortlessly envelop all of one breast.

It’s the first time her eyes have moved away from the trance they had yours stuck into, her stare dipping down to where she pretends to rub at your shirt, only reminding you of the absence of a bra to truly cover you. Your nipple hardens under her palm and that seems to be the goal because her hand changes sides, repeating the process, teasing and rubbing, the cotton fabric too rough for the sensitive little bud. Your thighs rub against each other, failing to get any sort of release from the pressure burning your cunt, hips almost bucking in a silent plea to be filled up by those very same fingers.  

Abby smiles, still kind, still honest, and shifts her hand only to roll it between two fingers, pulling a wet moan from your lips you fear the people behind you might catch. “See, that’s better now, isn’t it?” And just like that, she pulls away, hand settling back around her beer, leaving you to deal with the wetness soaking your underwear and the blush heating your face, shining like a broken christmas light. 

“Y-yeah.” It’s odd that you even manage to speak when flames circle hardened nipples, driving you into unknown depths of desire, but you’re proud to say you at least manage a coherent sound. “Thank you.”

When Ellie comes back, conversation follows a course far more normal, and if it weren’t for the hooded eyes, the pulsing heat, and the hand claiming its spot back on your lap, you’d think you hallucinated all of the tension. 

The state of your underwear when you strip down before a shower later that night, however, is all the proof you need. Yet, you fail to truly comprehend what happened. The innocence that almost shone in Abby’s eyes as she touched you is impossible to make sense of, and the next morning, you’re no longer sure of what her intentions truly were.

Did she mean to tease you like Ellie has been doing - as a friend, a friend who has a pretty interesting definition of the word platonic but a friend nonetheless? Or was this more? 

You’re not sure, but if anything, you won’t be the one to bring up the question just yet. 

-

Ellie and Abby are coming over to your house to help with the endless renovations you’ve been making. And no, it wasn’t your idea. 

You’ve been avoiding thinking about Abby and how she’s just as illegally fine as who you already considered to be the hottest woman alive, and although ignoring Ellie is impossible, you at least made some progress this past week with accepting the flirting as some meaningless fun. When you complained about the difficulties you’ve been having with painting the ceilings of two rooms and fixing the guest room bed, however, Ellie suggested that they come over to help and, well, how could you turn down such a nice proposal?

That’s how you end up watching them by the kitchen’s window as they relax around a glass of iced tea in the garden, cheeks stained with light grey paint and arms bared, water running in the sink and acting as the background noise to your current fantasies.

The mind owns a power the heart only dreams of having, capable of eternal wanderings uncontrolled by even the strongest wills. 

Yours has not resisted purposeless dreams. Dreams that once involved Ellie, a sweet craving for what could perhaps come to exist in the realm of reality - a craving for late-night guitar sessions and paintings in bold colors, for rough palms to sculpt your heart into submission and teasing smirks wiped away by kisses. Dreams that now involve someone else, a person you have yet to truly understand but who seems to perfectly fit a puzzle from which you did not believe a piece lost. Her body rings with a rigidity that’s a lot more pronounced, yet her heart appears softer, willing to lead you further into the depths of a euphoric swamp. 

A blurry motion startles you out of your thoughts and you blink to find the water is still running, the time still passing. Ellie is waving at you and Abby is staring with a raised eyebrow of curiosity. 

You smile, waving back, and turn off the tap. 

Fantasies are just that, unfortunately. You’ll have to make do with your imagination because it seems Abby isn’t intending on repeating what you’re getting more and more convinced was meaningless teasing anytime soon.

-

They spend the next weekend at your house too, fixing broken cupboards and a tall wardrobe you couldn’t figure out how to close fully, helping with the garden and any heavy objects you need to move around. 

It comes to a point where you decide that if you can’t have either of them, then dreaming is fine. The only problem is that you end up doing that a lot, and getting caught is inevitable. 

“Could I borrow your shower?” asks Ellie once the day reaches its end, the sun freefalling on the horizon. “I don’t want to dirty your couch.” Abby has fetched a chair for the same reason but you know how much Ellie like to sit beside you. Her girlfriend’s presence has not stopped the oncoming stream of cuddles she requires from you, and you’re more than happy to be held, touch-starved since the end of your last relationship. 

“Sure. I’ll get the food ready.”

You stand from the couch to head for the kitchen but before you can disappear, Ellie grips the hem of her shirt and pulls it up, revealing a glistening, tight stomach in what feels like a slow motion to you but is surely a very normal pace for anyone else. The fabric slides off her shoulders and gets thrown straight to Abby’s face but your brain is in no way capable to register anything but newly revealed skin and soft curves hidden under a white sports bra. 

“Feel free to join me,” she adds, teasingly, and you know it has to be directed at Abby who, it seems, is just as affected as you are judging by the darkened gaze she keeps directed at Ellie, but if that’s the case, then you cannot explain why Ellie is staring right at you as she says it before turning around and leaving for the bathroom. 

It’s that gaze you see once they’re gone that night, writhing on top of your bed, covers thrown to the floor and pillow wet with your spit. It’s that gaze encouraging a second, then a third finger to fit into your cunt, the pressure too much yet so far from what you wish for, from how well you know they would both fill you, breaching past undesired tightness and taking all that you’re willing to give. 

And it’s their voices, blended in as one, whispering praise into your ear and urging you to let go when you finally fall over the edge, tears pooling in your eyes and teeth aching from the marks they’ve left in that poor pillow. 

-

“You know,” you begin, words not slurring but speech clearly affected by physical exhaustion and beer. “I thought you were flirting with me before you suddenly mentioned your girlfriend.”

A chuckle greets you, but you can’t tell if it comes from Abby or Ellie, both of them cuddling on the couch in front of you as you lay on the fluffy chair you bought for decoration purposes but that’s actually pretty amazing to use when sleepy. The night has fallen and you spent a lot of time in the garden today while Abby watched over you and Ellie finished with painting touch-ups, explaining the tiredness numbing your arms and the effects of the alcohol. 

Your eyes remain closed and you shift around when air tickles the bottom of your stomach, your shirt having ridden up to reveal skin. 

“What if I was?” and this time, you know it’s Ellie - sure, because it sounds like her, but also because she’s the one who likes teasing you the most. 

You huff, internally rolling your eyes. “With a girlfriend like Abby, trust me, you were not. You’d be dumb to flirt with anyone else or want to kiss anyone else,” you say, voice barely above a murmur. That second beer should not have been handed in your hand, but Ellie has always been a bad influence and Abby drinks them with little effort. Slowly, you half-whisper, “Bet her lips are so soft.”

Abby laughs this time, reminding you of her presence, but you’re too far gone to care. “I think yours would put up a great fight in a contest,” she says, the smile evident in her voice. “Maybe even win, who knows. I know I wouldn’t mind trying you out.”

“Hey!” Ellie interrupts, “I get to try her out first. I found her. You would want me first, wouldn’t you?”

It takes a while for you to register the question and understand you’re being spoken to. “I think I want the both of you… together.”

Someone’s breath hitches, but you fall asleep before you can find out whose. 

All you remember the next morning is strong arms holding onto the back of your thighs and your back carrying you up the stairs, a pair of sweet lips leaving a kiss on your forehead, and the throbbing traces of a hand on the naked skin of your stomach. 

That must have been a fairly nice dream. 

-

You’re in the kitchen when things truly take a turn you did not expect to happen in reality, breaching the realm of fantasies and fully stepping into your life - your peaceful and joyful life that, as you will soon come to realize, was actually missing two precious souls to reach the desperate form of completion you sought. 

Abby is drying the dishes you’re washing and Ellie is… well, she’s simply being herself, avoiding any sort of chore and whistling in the living room as she chooses what movie you’ll all be watching tonight. The mood has been particularly tense today and this time, you’re glad to say it’s not your fault. Abby has been especially attentive to you, asking about your day, your past, and the shape you imagine your future to take, casually exchanging indecipherable looks with Ellie. They’re more than familiar with your house now yet they’ve never acted more like strangers scared of trespassing. 

If you didn’t know better, you would think of them as almost… afraid. 

Fortunately, the tension left as soon as night fell and you all settled back into soothing habits. At least, that’s what you think, until a shadow looms over your back, blocking the naked lightbulb from shining light on the last plate in your hand, and you realize that Ellie isn’t as busy as she made it out to be. 

“Dinner was great, thanks for preparing all of it again,” she says, supporting her weight with one hand on the countertop and the left one innocently resting on your hip. Her touch is welcomed and familiar, her palm cupping the curve to perfection. “Anyone ever told you you’d make the perfect little wife?”

You chuckle, rolling your eyes although you know she won’t be able to see it. “If that’s truly the case, there’d be a lot more people pilling up at my door, or at least one person. I think you two are just terrible cooks in desperate need of a chef.”

Abby shakes her head, nudging you with her elbow as she wipes water from a pack of forks. “You’re not wrong in thinking we’d wife you up in an instant if you wanted, but not because you’d be a great chef.”

“Yeah,” Ellie agrees, flexing her fingers where they rest on your hip. “I can think of a few other reasons. You’d be an amazing mother, for one, and you’re far more patient than either of us deserve.”

“And you’re ready to put up with her stubbornness, so a perfect match, really.” Abby’s comment makes you laugh but Ellie speaks again before you can tease her about her own issues with never doing as told. 

“All of that, and I even bet you’d be such a pretty little thing to fuck.” Your hands freeze on where you’ve just put the plate away, tension seizing unready muscles. You blink, staring by the window, the night turning it into a mirror and reflecting the shock wild in your eyes. For a second, you’re convinced to have misheard. But the silence that follows tells the opposite story. Ellie’s close, suddenly, closer than she was before, and Abby’s hands have stilled as well, her body tight with stress. “I feel like we didn’t thank you properly for all the meals you’ve prepared for us. What do you think, Abby?”

At the edge of your vision, you can sense that Abby has given in and glances at you from the corner of an eye, the sound of her breathing audible, loud. “I think she very much likes politeness, and… it would be rude not to give back after taking so much, wouldn’t it?”

“Right. And what about you, um?” The hand on your hip slowly slides closer to your front before drawing back, again and again, in what feels like a maddening caress. “Do you think we should thank you? Together, I mean.”

Later, you’ll have more than enough time to consider just how stupid it was for you, at that precise moment, to doubt the true meaning behind Ellie’s suggestion. There’s a part of you that yearns for this to be real, for it to feel real, but that part cannot be allowed to exist because it is directly connected to a risk of disappointment you’re not sure you would survive. So, when you reply a breathy little, “Yes,” you don’t actually expect what follows. 

“Good girl.” 

A whine spills past your lips but the reason behind its existence is blurry - is it the praise, vibrating through your lungs and soaking your cunt, or is it the hand that fully slides against your front, rubbing at the seam of your jeans frustratingly right above your heat, the other suddenly palming the curve of your ass and roughly kneading skin? You think you’ll never know for the first moan, but the next one is inevitably due to the second pair of hands finding a place to have some fun of their own. 

“I can feel how soaked you are already,” Ellie says, tone teasing, taunting and forcing past your defenses. “Are you sure you didn’t expect this to happen? How often did you fuck yourself wishing it was us, hmm, pretty girl?”

You think that question should not require an answer, mostly because you’re incapable of giving any, incapable of getting that brain of yours to think and function properly. But Abby doesn’t seem happy with your silence, and she finally decides to remind you of her presence. 

“We asked you a question, sweetheart.” Her voice startles you and your head turns to face her, your heart soothed by the admiration and the awe and the desire reflected in usually tight features. She’s smiling, not that usually kind expression but one that’s almost amused, and you realize you’re in serious, serious trouble with these two. Two fingers seize you by the chin, pushing it upward, and a thumb rubs at your bottom lip. “How empty did you feel thinking about how good we could take care of you?”

“I- I didn’t-” Ellie’s nails sink into the flesh of your ass, reprimanding, and Abby tuts, shaking her head disappointedly. 

“It’s alright,” she adds. “You can be honest with us. There’s not a single time we fucked since you started working here that we didn’t think about you, about how complete you’d make us.” And you’re going to process that at some point, but now will not be that time. Not when she continues to speak, stealing any hope for coherency from under your feet. “We’ll take care of you now, though. Come on, Ellie, don’t be a tease.”

Ellie hesitates, hands still, fingers flexing. They stare at each other with blazing heat in what you think could be a fight for dominance you’re not sure to make sense of when they could just take out all of that on you. 

“You better beg for it.”

When the gearwheels begin to roll again, you lose all sense of reality. 

It’s like they both observed you for months, like they figured out what button to push and with how much strength, what you love and what you’re too ashamed to admit you need. Chills of shame erupt on your arms at the idea, worsened by how smoothly Ellie works your body. 

“Let’s get these off you,” she mutters, lips hovering right next to your nape, inches away from a kiss. “You won’t be needing them around us anymore.”

There’s possessiveness in her words and there’s possessiveness in how fast she slips the button of your jeans off and tugs on the material, slowly, as if to admire what is finally hers to worship and use as she deems fit. Abby growls, watching with a well-trained eye as the tight fabric slides over your ass, and her hand moves down to press against your throat, keeping your back shamefully arched, ass raised for their eyes to feast onto. Your pants end halfway down your thighs, and you have to say there’s nothing surprising about Ellie’s eagerness to get to the source of her desires, hot between your thighs. 

“Abby told me I’d love your ass. Guess she wasn’t wrong.” You expect your underwear to follow next but she decides not to bother with that. “Ever gotten fucked there before, or are you keeping that tight little hole for when we decide to use it?”

“N-never, I- I don’t-”

Abby sighs, shaking her head warningly. “Ellie… focus.”

“Right, sorry. We’ll keep that in mind for another time, you’re ours now anyway, aren’t you? Our pretty little toy.”

You’re all but ready to cry when fingers slides into the front of your underwear, familiar roughness perceptible in the actions, immediately drenched in your desires. Your cunt aches, your core throbs, and your nipples harden. A cocktail of needs that can only be sated by much more than what you’re given. Efficient fingers part your folds before expertly reaching that little bud of sensitiveness at the top of your mound, circling it, pinching it, driving you crazy with it. 

But that’s not what truly seals the first release of the night. That only comes when Abby decides to fully join in on the fun. 

Fingers unbutton your shirt until it parts to reveal the pale pink bra that matches the current dark pink of your panties, only abandoning your neck until the offending lace has been pushed right under your breasts and returning to its hold. You think Abby’s going to kiss you, for a moment, but she’s only reveling in the hot puffs of air slipping past your lips and trying to swallow down the guttural moan that vibrates in your throat when Ellie decides she wants to take the next step.

The hand that had for now been palming your ass travels closer to your center and tugs flimsy fabric out of the way carelessly. You’re not given a warning when the first finger breaches past your entrance, only the sound of Ellie spitting on her fingers for unnecessary lube and that feeling of needing frustratingly more. A whine lodges itself at the back of your throat, and they both laugh, only turning your frustration worse. 

You want to move and fight back, tell them you’re more than capable of taking charge yourself. But there’s something about being treated as a toy meant to receive pleasure, about being admired and taken and praised, about that second finger joining the first and filling the tightness of your cunt, that forces you into a soothing form of submission, allowing every touch and taking them willingly. 

Abby palms at one breast, rolling a nipple under the strong surface in a touch that translates all of her strength. “Is that blush for us, pretty thing? You’re gonna come all over her hand like a good slut already, aren’t you?”

And, it’s cruel, but of course you do. 

Ellie flexes her fingers, increasing the speed of her arm. You can’t see it, but you know veins must shy prettily all over her forearm and biceps must be bulging from the tightness required to fuck you like she does now - like she wants to pull orgasm after orgasm from your core until you no longer understand what it means not to feel the maddening pulse of a release coursing through your body like liquid fire. Abby turns meaner, rougher, pinching a nipple between two fingers and pressing the hand further into your neck, forcing you to follow its direction and standing further on your toes. 

Four hands - teasing, fucking, taking. 

Two souls tauntingly attracting your own into their orbit, sealing an invisible lock around your heart, your body, your being itself. 

And sweet, sweet praise, whispered right under your ear, sending you into a release you’re helpless to control. 

“Ellie, Abby… I-” The moan that travels from your chest and spills past your lips is rough, guttural, connected to the inhuman waves of pleasures rocking through your body. Your cunt clenches around the fingers still thrusting in and out of your center, clinging onto the digits until they’re forced to stop, Ellie breathing heavily in your ear. Abby kisses down the curve of your throat, teeth nibbling at sensitive skin and laying a mark you refuse to ever cover. 

Your moan ends, broken off in tense breathing, your heart threatening to jump out of your chest, and that’s when you catch the groan vibrating Ellie’s throat. It, too, falls into silence. 

Abby swears against your skin, a deep, rough “Fuck,” that sends shivers down your spine. 

“Told you she’d be the cutest little thing to corrupt,” Ellie teases, slowly sliding out of you, fighting against the tightness of your walls and your eagerness to be fucked into a stupid mess. “She’s all proper and shit but I could tell she’d love it.”

“I never doubted you.” Abby says, kissing the lone tear sliding down your cheek with all of the tenderness she can conjure. “Come on, let’s get her on a proper surface.”

Heat blooms on your cheeks when Ellie steps away to allow Abby to take you into her arms, the ground suddenly disappearing from under your feet. The way they talk about you like you’re not even there, like you’re too fucked out to understand a single word, would be shameful under any other circumstance. You know it’s only a game when Ellie takes advantage of finally facing you by planting a soft kiss on your forehead, pushing away a lazy strand of hair. 

They begin to walk toward your bedroom like they perfectly know the way, and your vision turns dark right as they push the door open.

-

“Can you hold her open for me or have you been slacking at the gym?”

Your eyes remain closed, but your brain kickstarts itself into working properly again. You can feel the familiar linen of your sheets under your ass and soft naked breasts pressed against your back, another weight shifting in front of you on the bed. 

The body behind yours shakes in rhythm with a chuckle and you recognize Ellie. “Can you still eat pussy or should we trade so I can show you? Sorry we didn’t plan for your strap, I thought she might have a cock lying around but… we’ll have to take care of that next time.”

“Fuck you,” says Abby half-heartedly, the sound followed by more shifting. 

You’re fully aware again when Ellie grabs the back of your thighs and tugs them, spreading your legs and allowing air to tickle the slick still running from your center, drenched folds bared for anyone to use as they please. 

“Come on, get to it. I know you’re hungry.”

Another pair of hands holds you by the ass and your eyes flutter open, hoping to catch sight of what you once dreamed about. Abby barely spares you a glance before she all but leaps to feast on your cunt, igniting a fire not yet extinguished. 

“Abby… Abby…” You repeat her name like a plea, like a prayer. Your hips buck and trash around, your heart pauses and starts again, your releases come and come again right after each other until you exist no more, a broken toy a kid cannot help but continue to play with. 

Lips circle your clit and suck, pull and deliver rough kisses. An expert tongue gathers slicks at your entrance and spreads it all over already drenched folds, eating rather than licking, a starved woman relishing in her first and last mean. It’s all too much, too soon, too sensitive, and you’re in no way capable of pulling away, four hands keeping you all tight and secure in their hold, a prisoner to your own pleasure. 

“Keep them coming, pretty thing. I want your cunt red by the time we’re done with you tonight,” Ellie murmurs in your ear before resuming the path of tenderness her mouth trailing on down your neck. 

You only find the strength left in yourself to follow that order. 

-

An unwelcomed warmth burns your closed eyelids and you shift, attempting to escape its path. To your great despair, it doesn’t budge. A tired groan echoes in the room and you blink sleep back into your body, limbs stretching and encountering a soreness that did not exist before.

Oh. Right. Last night happened and… it was not a dream this time. 

Fear seizes your heart for a moment and you quickly look around, scared to find the bed empty save for your body. A happy sigh of relief marks the moment you see them - Abby clinging to Ellie’s back, still sound asleep and temptingly naked, and Ellie holding onto your waist, staring up at you with a smug look and a kind smile.

“Morning,” she says, voice broken from sleep. “You didn’t think we’d abandon you, did ya?”

“N-no I… I’m just happy to see you.” You cannot control the dumb smile that widens on your lips, and Ellie’s smirk only widens, her hold pulling you back into the eternal depths of the sheets. 

“We’re not going anywhere, try to get some more sleep.”

It’s a simple sentence, meaningless on the surface. 

Yet, you know it’s more than that. 

It’s a promise. 

A promise for more, meant to suppress the doubts blossoming in your chest. A promise that they’ll be there when you awake again, and again, and again.  

[jpmarvel90]

Coming Home

Masterlist Scarlett Masterlist

Relationship: Natasha x ex-Reader

Summary: Friends most of thier lives and in a relationship from 17 years old, Y/n and Scarlett's relationship deteriorated when Scarlett started her acting career. In contrast Y/n joined the military and has a surprise encounter after many years when she returns from duty.

Word Count: 3881

Y/n's POV:

I have known Scarlett Johansson most of my life. We grew up together and our parents are really close friends. We were best friends for most of our childhood and then we started dating when we were 17. For 3 years we were together, and we had a great relationship. We may have been young, but our love was strong. I adored her and I truly believe that she did in return.

When we turned 20, she started being away more for filming, and because our relationship wasn't public, I wasn't able to travel with her or spend as much time as I'd hoped. Over time, the contact was getting less and less. We used to call everyday regardless of where she was and be texting through the day. But as the months went on, she called less and eventually just stopped messaging me all together.

What was worse was still seeing her family regularly. I loved her parents, especially her mom and I struggled to still spend time with them when I had been completely ghosted by their daughter. So, to protect my already broken heart, I started to distance myself from them. I was in college in New York and just focused on getting to graduation.

Much to my Mom's dismay, when I graduated college, I joined the Army. I commissioned as an Officer and was posted out to Fort Benning in Georgia. I was due to be posted to Afghanistan so my parents decided to throw a huge party to send me off. I was surprised when the Johanssons appeared at the door, but I was grateful to see them before I left.

I needed to take a breather and stood outside in our garden to collect my thoughts of how I ended up here. I hadn't ever really been far from my family. I had stay in New York for College. It was weird at first when I went to Georgia a year ago. Now I was heading to Afghanistan on my first deployment, and I was leading my unit. As I was lost in thought, I felt a hand placed on my shoulder. "You look so grown up in your uniform." I turned around and saw Melanie, Scarlett's mom. "I still remember you running around our back garden playing soldiers with Scarlett as 8 year olds. I never thought you'd actually end up going to fight." She said with a sad look on her face.

I took her hand and pulled her into a hug. "I'm sorry I stopped coming to see you. It was just hard." I apologised. "We understood Y/n. I'm sorry that my daughter didn't have the courage to talk to you and not just block you out of her life." She said sincerely. "I've always considered you like a daughter Y/n. I hope you can keep in contact whilst you're away." She said and I instantly felt my guilt grow for shutting them out of my life just because of what Scarlett had done.

"I'll write as often as I can and when I come home to visit, I'll be sure to come by. You and Karsten are family to me." We pulled away from our hug and she gave me a teary smile. "How about a photo before you leave?" She asked and I happily obliged. We went and sought out Karsten and my parents and took a few photos. As I was leaving this evening I was already in my uniform.

Once the party was over, I had a teary goodbye with my parents and made my way to the station for my train to Georgia ready for my flight in the morning. As I put my bag on my back, I turned and saw my dad holding my mom in the doorway as they watched me leave. I turned around and gave them a wave as I turned the corner out of sight. Their words still ringing in my ears. "Please come back to us."

_____________

It had been 4 years since I left, and I had barely been home. I had done one tour of Iraq and was in the middle of my second tour of Afghanistan. I wrote as often as I could as making calls was difficult from the patrol bases, I was stationed at. I had kept my promise and was in regular contact with Melanie. The couple of times I had managed to get home, I always would drop by and see them.

As much as I had tried to avoid any news on Scarlett, I would still see things in the press or online. She was just going through a divorce with Ryan Reynolds and that did nothing for my confidence. No wonder she wanted to stop any contact with me when she had guys like him around. Luckily, I only saw things like this when I was back in the US. Thankfully gossip news wasn't exactly a priority in Afghanistan so it was pretty easy to avoid it whilst I was there.

I was currently sat on the train on my way back home for R&R leave and I was nervous as I hadn't been home in nearly 2 years. I was planning on spending my week off with my parents before I had to fly back out. My parents didn't know that I was coming home so I was excited to surprise them, although I knew that I was going to have to explain the cuts and bruises from an incident I was involved in.

After the long train journey, I jumped in a taxi to head home. My leg was bouncing with nerves at the thought of seeing my parents again. I had really missed them and wished that I had made the effort to come home more often. As the taxi pulled up outside my house, I paid up and found myself just standing on the front step. I could hear music and laughing inside and there was a part of me that didn't want to interrupt. But I took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

The door swung open, and my Dad was stood there. It took a moment for him to register that it was me before he silently just pulled me into the biggest hug he has ever given me. I could hear small sniffles and as he pulled away, I noticed a few tears had fallen down his cheeks. "I can't believe you're home!" He said through the tears. "Who is it Henry?" I heard my mom call from the dining room. "I think you should come and see for yourself Mary." He replied, never taking his eyes off of me.

I heard her gasp and let out a small scream as she saw me stood in the doorway. "OH MY GOD! My baby!" she ran toward me and launched herself at me, almost knocking me over. "Hi Mom. I missed you." I said into the hug. My dad joined the hug and we stayed like that for what felt like hours. When our hug was done my mom cupped my face and I could see her examining the couple of cuts I had on my face. "You're hurt. What happened?" She stated. I placed my hands on hers and shook my head. "I'm fine. I'll tell you about it another time." I replied, not wanting to get into that story now.

Our little family reunion was interrupted by a voice from behind us. "Little Y/n has really grown up." Karsten said walking forward to give me a quick hug. "I am 27 now." I laughed in response. "Good to see you still look good in your uniform." Melanie added as she now appeared. I couldn't help the wide grin on my face when I saw her. I instinctively opened my arms and we hugged. "I'm glad you're home safe." She whispered.

I nodded and looked around at 4 of the most important people in my life. But I felt my heart completely drop when I heard another shuffle come from the dining room. I looked over and saw a face I hadn't seen in over 5 years. Scarlett. I could feel the air get thicker as our parents all dropped their eye contact. Ignoring her presence, I turned to my mom. "I should have called. I didn't realise you had company. I need a shower, so I'll leave you guys to it." I said, grabbing my bag and making my way towards the stairs.

I was stopped by my mom grabbing my wrist. "Y/n, you are never interrupting us. Please join us for some food." I couldn't stay down here. I know it's been years since I last saw her and I should have moved on already, but seeing her stood there again, I couldn't do it. "I really need a shower mom. I've got sand in places I never wanted sand." I joked and carried on up the stairs to my room. Well, this wasn't how I expected my leave to go.

Scarlett's POV:

(1 year ago)

I was visiting my parents in New York whilst I had a break from filming. Things with Ryan and I weren't going well, and I needed some time away to clear my head and work out what I wanted. I had some work to get done today, so I was in my mom's office and a photo on her desk caught my eye.

It took me a moment to realise who it was. Y/n. She was in an Army uniform and was with both my parents. When was this even taken? I hadn't seen Y/n since I left to film in LA. I hated to admit it, but I had treated her awfully. I was so scared of coming out, that I decided I couldn't be with her anymore. But instead of doing the right thing and talking to her. I was a coward and slowly started to ignore her until she finally stopped messaging me.

I hated doing it as I loved her more than anything. I threw myself into work so I could ignore my feelings and try to get over the love of my life. Eventually I met Ryan and I thought I had managed to succeed in forgetting about Y/n. And I had for a while, but there would be small things in our relationship that would annoy me and I'd find myself thinking that Y/n wouldn't do that. But when I had these thoughts, I would just supress them, I couldn't think of her like that anymore.

I grabbed the photo frame and walked downstairs to my mom who was cooking in the kitchen. "When was this taken?" I asked, placing the photo on the kitchen counter. My mom looked down at the photo and back to me sighing. "3 years ago, the day she left for her first deployment." She answered. "Why didn't you tell me she joined the army." I asked, slightly frustrated. "It was your decision to cut her out of your life. Like I told you every time you would ask about her. If you wanted to know about her, you should have contacted her." She replied harshly.

She was right. At the beginning I was always asking how she was and what she was up to. But every time my mom would shut me down and would tell me that if I cared enough to know about her, I should contact her myself. I never had the courage to do that. "Where is she now?" I asked. Mom put down the knife she had in her hands and gave her full attention to me. "Georgia. She's getting ready to deploy to Afghanistan again." I let her words sink in as she spoke.

I felt a knot in my stomach at the thought of her being in a war zone. "We're all very proud of her. She's the first woman to lead a combat infantry unit. She's done amazingly well in her career." My mom explains with a smile on her face. "Do you keep in contact with her?" I question. She nodded. "She writes as often as she can."

"Does she um. Did she ever ask about me?" I tentatively inquired. Mom dropped her eye contact and instantly knew her answer. "No. I think it hurt her too much. She changed after you left. She put up this wall. You really hurt her Scar." She said. I knew I had hurt her, and I really regretted it. But I knew I wouldn't ever be able to make it up to her. I'd never earn her forgiveness.

_____________

(Night Y/n returns)

We were all having a nice meal with the Y/l/ns. I had recently moved back to New York after my divorce. I was spending a lot of time with my parents as I needed their support. I also started to see more of Henry and Mary so I could feel closer to Y/n. I still hadn't reached out to her. I wanted to more than anything, but I had no idea how I would even start.

We had just started to eat when there was a knock at the door. Henry got up to answer it. We couldn't hear much, just mumbling. Mary then got up to check who it was. My parents and I all had a worried look when we heard a small scream from Mary followed by "Oh my god!". We quickly got up and my parents were first to leave the dining room. As soon as I looked through the doorway, I saw her. She was being smothered by a hug from her parents, but I could tell clear as day that it was her.

I quietly watched as my mom and dad greeted her and it was great to see that they still had a good relationship with her. We grew up together and we were like extended family to each other, and I know how much my parents loved Y/n. I smiled to myself at their interaction and that fate had brought us back together tonight.

After they had all had their reunion, I started to walk into the hallway to join them when Y/n's eyes snapped to mine. I could see the happiness in her eyes disappear and be replaced with hurt. I couldn't get any words out and before I knew it she was walking away. My brain was yelling at me to call after her, but I just stood there watching as she walked up the stairs.

"I should go. I don't want to stop you spending time with Y/n." I said, feeling my heart shatter at the thought that she can't even be in the same room as me. Mary reached over to take my hand and shook her head. "Don't be silly. You're staying. She's just shocked to see you." I still wasn't sure but her dad gave me a reassuring smile so I turned back towards the dining room.

I couldn't take my eyes off the doorway, all I wanted was for her to join us, but I knew she wouldn't. Maybe I should go and see her. Seeing her again made me realise that I'm still in love with her. I'm the one that needs to apologise, I need to make the first move. "Why don't you go up sweetheart?" I heard Mary say. I looked up and was giving me a sympathetic smile.

I stood up and took a deep breath and made my way to her bedroom. The door was slightly opened and as I knocked it opened further to reveal Y/n. She had just taken her shirt off and was stood in a sports bra. Her torso was covered in dark bruising. With no control over my body, I had rushed over to her and placed my hands on her back. "Oh my god Y/n. What happened?" I asked full of concern. She quickly pulled away from me and her face was full of anger.

"What do you want Scarlett?" She asked harshly, ignoring my question. "I uh, I want to talk." I stuttered, still not able to take my eyes away from her injuries. She laughed and pulled away from me. She was still shirtless, and I found my eyes admiring her body. She was in incredible shape. The Army was doing great for her. "Talk? Well so did I, 5 years ago." She said and the anger in her voice made my heart clench. "Please I just want to apologise. How I acted was cowardly and I should have come home to talk to you. I was scared." I tried to explain but she just scoffed.

I watched as she ran her hands through her hair, starting to pace. "Why now? We're both completely different people now. What benefit is there to either of us to have this conversation." Her words were cutting and there was a part of me that was terrified that I would never be able to fix this. "Because I still lov..." "Don't you dare finish that sentence." She spun around on the spot interrupting me with a look of anger. "I loved you with all I had. I gave you everything and put you first time and time again. Yet I clearly meant nothing to you as you could so easily just forget about me." She said, tears starting to fall.

"But I did love you. I still do! It was the biggest mistake I've ever made. I never forgot about you. I tried but I couldn't." I tried to explain but I could tell she wasn't having any of it. "Tell me this Scarlett. If I hadn't seen you tonight, would you have contacted me?" She has stopped pacing now and had stopped right in front of me, her hands on her hips. Words weren't coming out of my mouth and I was cursing at myself for it. "That's what I thought." She said grabbing her towel and shutting herself in the bathroom.

I felt tears falling down my cheeks, my heart breaking. I didn't have the right to feel like this. I was the one that broke her heart. I made my way back downstairs and rejoined our parents. They all gave me a sympathetic look. "Give her time. She never stopped loving you. She's just hurt and protecting herself." Her dad offered which surprised me. I hurt their daughter. I would have thought they wouldn't want me anywhere near her. I gave him a small smile of gratitude and we carried on the dinner.

Over the last week I had tried to see Y/n as often as I could but each time, she would push me away. I knew that if I wanted to mend what I broke, I had to show her what she meant to me. I was making my way over to her parents' house, but my heart sank when I saw Y/n in the doorway in uniform and her bag in hand. Her mom was crying, and her dad had her in a tight embrace.

I ran up their footpath wanting to know where she was going. "Are you leaving?" I asked and she turned around and I could see that she had been crying. "Yeah, my leave is over. I've got to head back." She said and it was the first time she's spoken to me willingly. "To Afghanistan?" I ask and she nods. Not giving her time to react, I pull her into a hug and try to hide the fact that I was crying. "Stay safe." Was all that I could get out and I was shocked when she returned the hug.

Once I released her, she grabbed her bag and turned to give her parents one last hug. "I'll see you in 3 months." She said and started to make her way down the path. The three of us watched her leave and I felt a hand on my shoulder. "She'll come home." Henry said, but I think he was trying to convince himself as much as me.

It had been 2 months since Y/n had gone. I had been writing to her three or four times a week, after getting the address from my mom. I had a couple of short replies from her, which was more than I had expected. Maybe she was starting to warm up to me more. I couldn't wait for her to come home as I had a whole plan to win her back. I knew Y/n better than most people. Yes it may be 5 years and she's changed but I know there are some things that will never change. So, I was going to use all of that knowledge to win her back over.

I was working on some emails when I heard a knock at the door. I got up and was greeted by my mom at the door, but I quickly noticed that her eyes were red and puffy. "Mom, what's wrong? Is dad ok?" I asked panicked as I guided her into the living room. She shook her head and took a deep breath. "It's Y/n." She whispered and, in that moment, I felt my heart tear in two. "I just had a call from Henry. Y/n's unit came under attack, she got hurt and they couldn't get to her. They had to retreat without her. She's been declared missing in action, presumed dead." Her words were like knives to my already wounded heart.

I dropped to my knees and let out a cry. My mom knelt next to me and pulled me into a hug. We both cried together. "But they haven't found a body, so she could still be alive." I said trying to grasp on to any hope. "Sweetheart, her injuries were severe. They said the likelihood of her surviving was extremely small." My mom sobbed.  I can't believe, the woman that I love is dead. I never should have left her all those years ago. Maybe she wouldn't have joined the army if we were still together. She'd still be alive, and we'd be together like we were meant to me.

As my sobbing got louder, my mom held me closer. "It's ok sweetheart. We'll get through this together." She said through her own tears. "It won't be ok. I've lost her forever. It's all my fault! I was such a selfish asshole and it's cost me the love of my life." My mom and I held each other, mourning the loss of someone so important in both of our lives.

She died a hero, saving the lives of her men by ordering the retreat whilst she was injured knowing she wouldn't make it. I wouldn't have expected anything less from her. She always put other people first. In this instant it cost her her life. I should have put her first like she had always done to me. I should have never let a day go by where she didn't know how much I loved her. But instead, I'm sat here mourning the loss of the one person I can't live my life without. I was just too late to realise it.

Part 2

[earthry]

Mafia Papas (Mafia AU Headcanons)

I couldn’t stop thinking about what if the papas were mafia bosses and maybe the Emeritus family’s territory is so big that they had to split it into four, one for each papa.

tw: mentions of violence and murder, sexual themes and content— just a little spicy, f!reader.

disclaimer: this is all fictional and romanticized, not at all reflective of what actual mafia life/people are like. plus my knowledge is absolutely not accurate this is all just for fun!

Primo

He’s not as hands on as he used to be in his youth— these days his ghouls do more of the work with him controlling the puppet strings behind the scene. You spend your days with him in a lavish estate with a beautiful growing garden that you both tend to.

The area you live in is known to be difficult to grow things, so you often get comments wondering how you managed to make the soil fertile enough. It’s probably all the bodies rotting in the backyard but you don’t tell them that.

Sometimes Primo hosts parties in the courtyard just to watch you flourish, fluttering around as others orbit around you. The life of the party. At the end of the day however he always makes sure everyone knows who you belong to.

“Dolcezza, would you like another glass of wine? Mm, yes you look very beautiful today. Beautiful and all mine, si? Good girl.”

Secondo

More hands on then Primo, works out of a night club as a front. You started as a dancer but now, as Secondo’s lover and beloved, you needn’t worry about anything else. Most nights are spent at Secondo’s side as he chats with business associates and plays cards, either curled against him or nestled in his lap. No one pays any mind to you— they’ve already learned long ago the danger of doing so.

Has a possessive streak and loves to have you wear things of his. Whether it be his jacket or shirt or even a watch, as long as you have something of his he’s usually satisfied. You bring up the subject of maybe getting a tattoo with his name or crest and he’s immediately chubbed up to full mast (good thing it was just the two of you in his office).

You move in to his large condo with large windows and a beautiful view of the cityscape and learn that he has a weakness for making love with you pinned against the windowpane. Whining with need and pleasure as the the neon lights of bustling city below illuminate your form. Laid bare for anyone who might happen to look up.

“Do you like that, tesoro? Do you like knowing the whole world can see you like this for me? I’m the only one who can reduce you to this, cara. No one else.”

Terzo

Loves to flex his power through dramatic appearances and is definitely the kind of monologue for a good hour to his victims before finally getting to business. He often has Omega stand beside him because of how intimidating the ghoul is.

When you first meet him at the coffee shop you work at, you are not impressed and he is immediately smitten. He visits almost every morning and orders drinks for both him and his ghouls for two months straight until you finally agree to a date.

For your first year anniversary Terzo goes all out, booking a cruise to the most exotic places he could think of. Of course you don’t know that 90% of the crew and passengers are linked directly to the mafia. He’d never put you on a cruise full of mostly strangers, it’d be too dangerous.

Loves dressing you in jewels and expensive gowns and showing you off. The two of you definitely have a few matching sets of suits and dresses that compliment each other perfectly.

“Let me help you with that zipper, amore mio. Fuck you’re gorgeous. Can’t wait to take this off you later.”

Copia

Out of all the brothers, he’s definitely seen the most fights. To him, it doesn’t feel right to have his ghouls go out to do the dirty work while he sits behind a desk or goes have fun somewhere else. To him, the mafia is family. While he may be the boss, he treats his members fairly and like equals. He’s earned a lot of loyalty as a result, even from those that may not have been on their side at first.

Out of all his brothers, everyone had expected him to fail because of how timid and anxious he was growing up. He can still be awkward and anxious but when his family’s lives are on the line? When your life is on the line? He’ll show no mercy, no remorse.

He worships you, absolutely adores you. Buys the cutest little house because he knows you’ll love it. There’s plenty of extra room for your rats and for a mafia boss you’ve never seen anyone coo or baby talk animals quite like him.

Nothing gets Copia harder than the idea of you being his little housewife waiting at home for him. It’s the dream he never thought he’d have. Of course, you’re way more than that to him; you have your own job and career too. But whenever he comes home to a home cooked meal and open arms, you’d better expect to eat the food cold cause the first thing he’ll wanna do is rail you again the kitchen counter.

“Fuck that smells good, dolcezza. You’re so good to me, how about you let me be good to you? Let me show you my thanks, si?”

[lexsssu]

Good Little Girl (Marshall Lee)

TAGS: Mashall/F!Reader, Original child character, parenthood, fluff Ao3 ver.

“Mishael Linus Abadeer, get your sorry butt down here already before your dinner gets cold!”

“Jeez, I’m coming down already, Ma”

“If you don’t hurry up I’ll eat your portion of fresh strawberries, kid~”

“Dad, don’t be so unfair when you already have your own portion!”

“Not my fault if you’re a slowpoke”

A handsome dark-haired youth flew into the humble dining room hurriedly, seating himself at his designated chair and clutching the small bowl of strawberries to his chest as if they were a priceless treasure. His skin had a grayish hue to them, pointed ears peaked from his ebony tufts of luscious hair while a pair of sharp fangs poked from his lips. The scowl he wore didn’t make him look menacing, but rather even more attractive than he already was in the first place.

“Now, now, now. Stop teasing our son already, Marsh. You know how he gets when it comes to his strawberries and besides, aren’t you already too old to be competing with him over food?” You stifled a laugh as you raised an eyebrow at your husband who merely grinned, shrugging in response.

“It’s survival of the fittest, babe. If our own kid doesn’t understand that then he doesn’t deserve the plump and juicy fresh strawberries you’ve painstakingly grown, picked, and washed straight from our garden”

The vampire king wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you closer, landing a quick kiss to your hair as your preteen son gagged at the public display of affection. “No spawn of mine will grow up ungrateful to their beautiful, amazing, spectacular, wonderful mama~”

Dinner passed by without much fanfare aside from the playful teasing your family generally engaged one another with. Though mainly it was just Marshall being the big bully that he was, something Mishael had already grown used to ever since he was young.

While you washed the dishes, you spotted your son fumbling with his phone as he floated back up to his room. A bright smile lit up his face as a tinge of red gave his cheeks some much needed color and contrast from the grayish hue he’d inherited from his father.

“Lemme guess, he’s probably hung up on Fiona & Evan’s kid...Evie, right?”

Years of being with Marshall had trained you to anticipate his sudden appearance at all possible times that you didn’t even flinch anymore when you hear his voice and feel the warmth of his breath on the back of your neck.

“Mhmm, he’s got it quite bad from the looks of it. Kinda reminds me of another lovesick vampire I knew back in the day…” The corners of your lips quirked upwards in a smile as memories of a time not so long ago flashed in your mind like a cinematic movie.

“Whaddya mean you ‘knew’ back in the day? I’m still very much YOUR lovesick vampire until the universe itself collapses and time ceases to exist, thank you very much”

Placing the last plate upon the dish rack, you wipe your hands dry on the dry dish cloth before gingerly taking the raven-haired male’s face into your hands and pecking his nose. “And I wouldn’t have it any other way, my bad little boy~”

A tender looked slithered its way onto the hybrid’s face, snaking his arms around you until your front was pressed flush against his own. You both floated a few feet off the ground, arms around your waist and your own around his neck as you stared into each other’s eyes.

Marshall Lee had his fair share of relationships over the course of his immortal life, but none had ever enamored him the way you do. None had ever made him want to come home so desperately, even if you were the one who gave him all the freedom he wanted to go off on adventures while waiting patiently for him. His once cold, unbeating heart felt the warmest, the liveliest as long as he was with you.

“Forever’s a long time, ‘ya know? But I’ll be more than happy to let you feel why being MY good little girl is worth it~”

[harlowtales]

Jack and Y/N keep their relationship a secret and hide their true feelings 🤫

18+ only Adult Themes - Romance/Drama

Jack slipped out from under you resting your head on his chest and your leg flung over his legs. The moonlight hit his lean muscular body and broad shoulders just right.

“Jack” You said hoarsely, “Why didn’t you wake me? I have to go. We have that big meeting in the morning.”

“You never stop working do you?” He said mid-yawn.

“Well we can’t walk in there together.” You said practically

“And what would be the fucking big deal if we did.” He said defensively

“Jack come on be sensible.” You said getting up hurriedly to start finding your clothes.

“Be sensible” he mocked you “Look I gotta pee, when I get out of the bathroom if you’re gone I’m telling everyone at the label what we’re doing in all those “dinner meetings.”” He gently threatened as he pecked you on the forehead.

This had gone too far already. At first you and Jack couldn’t stand each other and now you were sneaking around behind everyone’s back. You had even went on a few getaways to remote places in disguise using fake names. So far so good. Nobody at Generation Now knew. It would ruin your career if it was found out that a top CEO at Atlantic records was messing around with talent half their age. You had even met Jack’s family and had a hard time looking them in the eye as you were almost old enough to be his mother.

“Ah, good, you’re still here.” He said, now wearing his underwear and a tank top. He was the most gorgeous man you had ever been with. His eyes sparkling blue were an incredible compliment to his cherry red pouty lips and pillowy famous curls. He made you belly laugh which you hadn’t done in years and was wise beyond his years.

He was so open to learning from you about life and business. In fact Jack was in love. He had fallen hard a while ago but knew if he told you it would mess up everything. So he continued to see other people and so did you, both knowing nobody came close to what you had with each other. The jealousy was also growing with the two of you trying to act like you were above it.

“You sure you have to go now or you got another situation waiting?” Jack asked with a smirk trying to hide his insecurities with a bit of jerkiness. He had pulled you close now, towering over you, making it harder to leave.

“Don’t you have like 10 bitches on speed dial to come over after I leave?” You said slightly salty

“At least 10.” Jack said truthfully “But why when my hands are full right now.” He said grabbing your behind with both his hands and kissing you.

“Jack I...” You started to say in weak protest

“Just at least fucking cuddle with me y/n. Don’t leave like this.” He said softly guiding you back to the bed. “You know I gotta get my little spoon on.”

Jack made you loosen up a bit. You had tried shrooms, gone to soccer games in England, and been to “the hood” with him in Louisville to get the best food. All things you never would have done before in your CEO circles. Whenever you were in public you acted professionally with some mild friendliness and so far nobody was onto you. Drama was just happy you were getting along. While you and Jack cuddled it made you think back to when you first met.

You thought he was a pompous pretty boy with the way he strutted into your office with 4 of his best friends, manager, bodyguard, and two girls that you couldn’t figure out what they actually did on his team. He thought you were a typical snotty CEO with your blazer, hair pinned up, pencil skirt, heels, and glasses. Jack wasn’t much for New York slick business person types.

“Mr.Harlow.” You remember saying when you met him.

“Jack will do.” He said politely but with an edge in his tone. He didn’t like being called Mr. Harlow.

“Mr.Harlow.” You continued coldly, ignoring how he wanted to be addressed. “You have one more album you have to do under Atlantic. We are interested in purchasing Private Garden Records.”

“No fucking way.” Jack said immediately. “Y’all will turn it into some commercial shit.”

“Mr…” You said

“It’s Jack. Call me Jack or I walk out of here.” He said hotly

“Jack let me handle this.” Neelam said sensing he was getting too angry to negotiate

“Just tell her it’s no.” He said

It was the worst meeting with Atlantic holding one more album over Jack’s head and threatening to take over the label he built from the ground up with his friends.

“You were rude and you’re going to fix this” Drama said shaking his head when Jack made his way to Atlanta to talk it over with the “3 Kings.” As Jack called his “OG’s”. “I know Y/N, she does solid honest business. It’s a good offer you should consider. Nothing would really change, and The Homies would have even more reach. You could even sign James and get Gee over from Gotti. This is business Jack. Your heart is always on your sleeve. I want you to take Y/N out for dinner and squash this dumb beef you have with this woman. Be careful, she’s beautiful, you know how you are especially with older women.” Drama cautioned.

“You don’t have to tell me. Snotty bitches ain’t my type.” Jack said pissed Drama was asking him to break bread with that vulture who wanted his label. If Private Garden was owned by some New York big machine, it would lose its Louisville distinction. He would not let her have it. “Fine, we’ll make peace but she ain’t getting my label.” He said begrudgingly.

“Whatever Jack. At the end of the day just remember you can have 20% of something major or 100% of nothing. I’ll support you no matter what.” Drama said

Jack offered to pick you up from the airport. He was waiting in the back of an SUV when he caught sight of you. Urban looked at him sideways “You good bro?” He asked knowing that look on Jack’s face and suspicious there was attraction on both sides hence the hostility.

“I’m fine why?” Jack said not taking his eyes off you. “I just want to get this over with bro.”

“You don’t have to do this. You could say fuck this bitch and it’s a wrap. Do your last album and go.” Urban said which actually was exactly what Jack wanted to do, but Drama’s reputation could be damaged if he didn’t at least try to recover from the earlier meeting in New York.

You had your long thick dark curly hair in a slick ponytail. It was specially blown out for the occasion, a simple body hugging black dress, minimal jewelry, Versace sunglasses, a cute clutch bag, and smelled incredible with your favourite Marc Jacobs perfume. You went for a minimal glowy look with your makeup, not wanting to be too flashy for Louisville.

You looked breathtakingly elegant and classy. You knocked on the SUV window and Jack opened the door to the huge back end. “Y/N” he said coldly

“Mr. Harlow.” You said just as icy back. “Urban.” You nodded to his best friend. “Do you ever go anywhere by yourself?” You asked Jack not expecting Urban to be on a business dinner.

“Anything you say to me you can say in front of Urban.” Jack maintained mesmerized by your legs as you crossed them in sitting to take a load off from your flight. “You look tired. Must’ve been a long flight on your broom.” He dug at you.

“Listen Jack…” you said irritated

“Ah she finally said my name Urb.” Jack smiled which annoyed you even more.

“Are you always this mature?” You said sarcastically rolling your eyes.

“Let’s just get this over with to say we did it ok?” Jack said turning to look out the window. “You ain’t getting PG anyway.”

“Jack I would never take it from you.” You said earnestly catching him off guard. “I want to buy it to make sure it’s not lost and it can grow into something amazing for Louisville.”

“Oh, I guess we can talk about that.” Jack said thoughtfully. Urban shook his head knowing it would be hard for Jack to withstand an offer coming from such a gorgeous smart woman. “Urb, you wouldn’t mind if I took this one alone with Y/N would you?”

“Aside from the free meal, I would rather be anywhere else.” Urban said happy to get out of listing to business talk.

“Y/N” Jack said shaking you awake. “Baby it’s time to get up.” You had dozed off and didn’t realize. You were holding Jack from behind in a spooning position.

“I had the weirdest dream about when we went for dinner.” You said groggy wishing he had let you dream. “I was just getting to the part where we…you know.” You remembered your one nightstand with fondness.

“It’s a thin line between love and hate baby.” Jack said kissing you. The deal to buy PG was a year in the making. Today was the day for all parties to sign on the dotted line and you would be taking over as CEO of the label. “We’re gonna make PG great babe.” He said. He had grown to trust you.

“Jack…I…I love Y…Kentucky. I love Kentucky and I won’t turn into anything else. It’s all you. I’ll just be making deals expanding the label. You’ll burn out trying to be all things to all people and I will do anything to make sure you’re ok.”

“You sure it’s just Kentucky you love?” He asked looking deeply into your eyes overwhelmed with emotion.

“Jack we can’t…I mean you and me can’t…” You stuttered suddenly sweating a bit.

“I know I know but I…I could handle it if it ever happened.” He said deciding not to say he loved you and focus on business.

“In a perfect world sure. That would be…amazing.” You said trailing off in a wishful gaze.

@okaaay-mice @itsyagirljaz

[kckt88]

Take My Breath Away XII.

Summary:

Vaeryna and Aemond seek to reconcile with one another.

Warning(s): Kissing, Smut - Fingering, Rough P in V Sex, Multiple Orgasms, Daddy Kink, Breeding Kink, Awkwardness.

Word Count: 3366

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!

GREENS WIN - ENEMIES TO LOVERS.

Tag List - @ammo23, @immyowndefender,

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the House of The Dragon or Fire & Blood characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used.

Comments, likes, and reblogs are very much appreciated.

“Seems like a life ago since we had any time alone” said Cregan.

“I know” replied Vaeryna.

“Is everything ok with your husband, things between you seem a little strained?”

��Because they are” muttered Vaeryna sadly as she walked arm in arm around the gardens with the Warden of the North.

“The business with Aegon?” asked Cregan.

“Aemond didn’t take the news very well” said Vaeryna quietly.

“He hasn’t hurt you, has he?” demanded Cregan.

“No, we’ve taken to avoiding one another-“

“-You’re upset by this” replied Cregan softly.

“Yes” mumbled Vaeryna her lips wobbling slightly.

“Look, I might not like the man, but surely the best thing for the two of you is to talk and sort this out. You have children; you cannot avoid one another forever”.

“There was me thinking you would want me to avoid Aemond” replied Vaeryna.

“Once upon a time, I may have welcomed the discord in your marriage and mayhaps I would have tried my hand, but I see the way he looks at you and I see it in your eyes now. You love him very much, stop being stubborn and go talk to him” said Cregan.

“I will once we’ve finished our walk”.

Cregan let out a heavy sigh but continued on his walk with Vaeryna, they chatted about Aegon and his time in the North and Cregan expressed a desire to keep in contact with the boy he’d essentially raised as his son for almost seventeen years.

Whilst Cregan was saddened at the thought of not seeing Aegon every day, he was also happy that Aegon was finally back home where he belonged.

They also chatted about Vaeryna’s children and in quiet reflection they talked about Jacaerys.

Remembering the good times, and Vaeryna smiled as Cregan told her of Jace’s time at Winterfell.

“Wherever he is; do you think he’s ok with the choices I’ve made?” asked Vaeryna.

“Knowing Jace, I think he would probably sulk for a bit, then he would understand”.

“I think your right” replied Vaeryna smiling sadly as she spotted her brother sitting under the weirwood tree with Daenerys as they talked, under the watchful gaze of Ser Colton and another member of the Kings Guard.

“The past has seen a lot of loss, let us look to the future and see it grow” said Cregan as he pressed a gentle kiss to Vaeryna’s head.

It was a few hours until the feast and Vaeryna was pacing outside Aemond’s chamber’s.

She knew they needed to talk and sort things out, but they’d left things festering for a month and Vaeryna didn’t even know if Aemond wanted to sort things out with her.

“Don’t be a coward” whispered Vaeryna as she reached up and knocked on the door.

After a few minutes the door swung open and Aemond stood there with a surprised look on his face as he caught sight of his wife, fiddling nervously with a stray thread on her skirts.

“Vaeryna” said Aemond.

“M-May I come in?” asked Vaeryna quietly.

“Hm” muttered Aemond as he stepped to the side and allowed Vaeryna to enter.

As she door shut with a soft click, Vaeryna stood awkwardly in front of Aemond, each of them waiting for the other to speak first.

“I want to apologize for lying” said Vaeryna quietly.

“Hm”

“I’m sorry for being dishonest, but I won’t apologize for protecting my brother. I was desperate and I just wanted to keep him safe” exclaimed Vaeryna.

“-And that makes it ok, does it?” asked Aemond.

“What would you do, if it was Helaena, Aegon or even Daeron? You would do everything in your power to see them safe, so don’t look down your nose at me”.

“You call this an apology?” quipped Aemond cocking his head to the side.

“Oh, do you know what stuff it where the sun doesn’t shine, I knew I shouldn’t have listened to Cregan” snapped Vaeryna.

“What does the Warden have to do with any of this?”.

“He told me to stop being stubborn, and that we should try talk things through, but obviously you don’t care and now I feel like a total idiot” said Vaeryna as she turned on her heel and walked back towards the door.

“Vaeryna. Wait” said Aemond desperately.

“Why should I?” asked Vaeryna as she turned back to face Aemond.

“I cannot accept your apology”.

“S-So that’s it then? You won’t even try to figure this out” said Vaeryna as the tears began to roll down her cheeks.

“Vaeryna”.

“It’s ok, I understand. This is my fault. I shall not trouble you again. Please just know that I love you and-“ stuttered Vaeryna as Aemond suddenly lunged forward and pressed his lips to hers.

Vaeryna ripped herself away from Aemond. Staring at him as she put a hand to her mouth.

The uncertainty and upset swirling in the pit of her stomach was now morphing into something else. The dormant fire of their relationship was roaring to life once more. Coursing through her body.

One kiss, that was all it took. She needed more. She needed him.

Suddenly Vaeryna wrapped her arms around Aemond's neck and drew him in back in.

Their kiss was rough and vicious. Consisting of teeth and tongue.

It had been so long since they’d shared any form of intimacy.

Aemond backed Vaeryna towards the bed, his hands tearing off her dress until it was a ragged mess on the floor.

It was an eruption of frustration and passion. Hands everywhere, grabbing, scratching, and pulling at one another.

Aemond took a brief minute to yank off his tunic and shirt before he shoved Vaeryna on the bed, her back colliding with the mattress with a soft thump.

His body covered hers as he sucked and licked the delicate skin of her neck, leaving red marks in his wake.

Vaeryna moved her head to the side and moaned loudly as she felt Aemond’s teeth nipping at her skin.

Aemond pulled away to unfasten his breeches and push them down, his hard cock slapped upwards against his abdomen.

Vaeryna lay back on the bed, her heart thumping wildly in her chest.

Aemond ran his hand up and down the length of himself, eyeing his wife with an animalistic hunger, a smirk on his lips as she instinctively parted her legs for him.

As Aemond guided himself to her entrance, Vaeryna barely had a moment to adjust before he pressed his cock forcefully inside and stretched her brutally, causing her to cry out.

“FUCKING TAKE IT!” moans Aemond, wrapping a hand around her throat while the other digs into her hip, pulling her aggressively against him to meet each one of his hard thrusts.

Vaeryna can’t think of anything but the intense pounding thrusts that greet her, causing her to wail and moan, tears form in her eyes, before running down her cheeks.

Aemond sets a brutal pace, his hips relentlessly crashing into hers.

“YES! YES! AEMOND!” screamed Vaeryna.

“FUCK!” shouts Aemond.

As Aemond’s hips begins to falter in their movements, he snakes a hand between their joined bodies, his long fingers expertly circling her pearl, causing heat to bloom in her stomach.

Aemond presses down more firmly, making faster movements against her bud making her shudder, as a sudden warmth crashes over her in waves making her cry out, her cunny tightening around him.

“AEMOND!!” screams Vaeryna as her hands claw at his back.

“Fuck!! baby, that’s it come all over my cock!” growls Aemond as he moves to grab the headboard, bracing himself as he continues to pound his hips against hers.

“A-Aemond” gasped Vaeryna.

“I’m never going without your sweet cunny again” groaned Aemond, his fingers digging into the wood of the headboard.

The sound of their coupling was so loud, that no doubt everyone in the Red Keep could hear them as they brought each other pleasure.

“P-Please Aemond. Fill me up. I want it. I want you” whined Vaeryna.

With a loud animalistic groan, Aemond stills, leaning over his wife, his cock pulsating as he spills his seed deep inside her.

“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” asked Aemond quietly as he observed the reddened marks that littered his wife’s pale skin.

“No” whispered Vaeryna, the tears rolling down her cheeks.

“Y-Your crying” muttered Aemond.

“I-I’m not crying because I’m hurt. I-I’m sorry for not being honest with you and for letting things get so bad between us that we spent a month apart” whispered Vaeryna as she pressed her face into Aemond’s side.

“When I said that I couldn’t accept your apology, it was because you don’t owe me one-well for lying yes but not for protecting your brother” replied Aemond.

“I’m sorry Issa zaldrīzes” whispered Vaeryna (My dragon).

“Avy jorrāelan ābrazȳrys” replied Aemond as he began pressing kisses onto Vaeryna’s neck (I love you wife).

“I don’t want to fight anymore”.

“Me either, no secrets though and no more lies” urged Aemond.

“I have no more secrets anyway-oh except one but I’m not sure you want to hear about that”.

“Tell me” retorted Aemond.

“Well, it’s about your brother-are you sure you want me too tell you”.

“Yes tell me. What about him?” asked Aemond.

“H-He once told me that he’s curious about you”.

“Curious?” muttered Aemond furrowing his brow.

“You do know that he’s had sexual encounters with men before”.

“I do not listen to the sordid details of my brothers past indulgences-wait when you say he’s curious about me, you don’t mean-“

“-Yes, I do believe that he had a curiosity over you bedding him” said Vaeryna trying to stifle a smile at the look on Aemond’s face.

“Your right, I should not have heard that” exclaimed Aemond.

“Oh, come on, aren’t you a little intrigued. I mean it could be fun” suggested Vaeryna.

“No, not in a million years would I, he’s my brother-“

“-And I’m your niece, Targaryen customs and all that” said Vaeryna.

“Don’t tell me you’ve thought about it”.

“Might have done, once or twice but it was a long time ago” said Vaeryna softly.

“Am I not enough to satisfy my wife that she would like to have my brother as well?” asked Aemond as he ran his tongue over one of Vaeryna’s rosy nipples.

“N-No. I want you. Only you” moaned Vaeryna as Aemond reached down and ran his fingers through her slick wet folds.

Vaeryna pushed herself against Aemond’s hand as he swirled a digit around her swollen bud, reigniting the spark of pleasure inside her.

“Look at your needy little cunny. Do you need daddy to help you?” asked Aemond.

Vaeryna nodded as she thrust her hips against his hand as he added another finger, beginning to move them inside of her.

“Use your words ābrazȳrys” muttered Aemond (Wife).

“Please valzȳrys” moaned Vaeryna (Husband).

“Please what, Issa prūmia” said Aemond smirking (My Heart).

Vaeryna whined, shutting her eyes as the heat flooded her face.

“Come on. Use your words or you won’t get what you want” teased Aemond.

“Please, daddy. I need you. P-please fuck me” gasped Vaeryna.

Aemond smiled triumphantly, as he kissed the lingering tear that was running down her cheek.

Vaeryna whined when Aemond removed his fingers.

“Shh. Daddy’s going to give you just what you need, I’m going to fuck you so good that you won’t ever think of anyone else but me again” whispered Aemond.

Aemond slipped into Vaeryna immediately, given how wet she was. He sighed into the crook of Vaeryna’s neck, as her legs immediately wrapped around him as he began to fuck into her.

Vaeryna moaned and cried beneath Aemond, his pelvis rubbing against her swollen bud with each deep and rough thrust he gave.

“You going to peak already? I can feel you clenching around me” huffed Aemond, watching his length disappear into his wife’s wet folds.

“Please” wailed Vaeryna, her hands gripping the sheets.

Aemond took pity and slid a hand down to Vaeryna’s pearl, rolling it in time with his thrusts,

“Come on then. I want to feel you cum on my cock”

It took five deep thrusts before Vaeryna screwed her eyes shut, as she peaked with an earth-shattering moan.

Aemond carried on fucking her through it, until Vaeryna was a sobbing mess beneath him.

“Give me another. I want another” grunted Aemond, pressing his fingers against his wife again harder.

Vaeryna tried to move away but it was no use as Aemond ripped yet another peak from her.

“Fuck” groaned Aemond through his teeth, hand releasing his wife’s bud out of mercy as he gripped her hips tightly in both hands, fucking into her harder and faster than before, her body moving up the bed by the sheer force of his thrusts.

“Going fill your sweet cunny” moaned Aemond.

Vaeryna nodded weakly as Aemond continued to thrust his length into her.

“You want me to fill up this pretty cunny with my seed? You want me to put another child in you?”

Vaeryna nodded her head again, tears leaking from the corners of her eyes as Aemond continued to rut into her.

“Going to fill up my wife. Fuck. I can’t wait to see you round with my child again”.

Vaeryna’s brain went blank as ecstasy shot through it, scrambling any thought that she had.

Vaeryna heard Aemond’s loud groan as he came deep within her, his warmth filling her.

Then nothing as darkness embraced her.

It took a while for Vaeryna come back to herself, snuggled in Aemond’s arms.

Vaeryna shifted to look up at her husband, watching as his eye opened to look down at her.

“So good you blacked out?” asked Aemond softly, watching as his wife smiled at him, nuzzling into his bare chest.

“I don’t think I can move” gasped Vaeryna.

“Lucky for you we’ve got a few hours until the feast, so rest my sweet wife and once you awaken, I shall have you again” replied Aemond.

To say the feast was a little awkward was an understatement.

Vaeryna and Aemonds very amorous reconciliation was indeed heard by a number of maids and servants and soon the Red Keep was a buzz with the gossip about Prince Aemond’s virility and his prowess in bed.

Aegon of course raised his cup in celebration and the children didn’t know where to look.

Cregan had attempted to remain blissfully unaware but that backfired when some serving maids began giggling as they set eyes on Aemond, who had slumped so for down in his seat that he was practically on the floor.

“So, brother, did you enjoy your tour of the Red Keep earlier?” asked Vaeryna.

“Yes, I did although we had to cut the tour short due to-never mind” replied Aegon as Aemond glared at him.

“Honestly you lot, I really don’t see the issue” exclaimed Vaeryna as she took a sip of wine.

“I don’t wish to hear the maids gossiping about you and my father-“ muttered Rhaegar.

“-What? Engaging in the activities of man and wife?” asked Vaeryna.

“It is unseemly” said Rhaegar furrowing his brow.

“I’ll remember that next time I walk in on you and Jaehaera” replied Vaeryna.

“But that’s not the same thing-mother stop smiling” whined Rhaegar.

“Oh, my love” whispered Jaehaera as she patted her husband gently on the shoulder.

“What can I say your father made me very happy today”.

“Gods, Vaeryna are you trying to kill me off” laughed Aegon as he spat his drink all over the table.

“Uncle that’s gross” said Jaehaeryn.

“Mother why is father blushing?” asked Vharla.

“N-No reason” urged Aemond.

“So, it has been a pleasure meeting your children, they truly are a credit to you both” said Cregan politely.

“Certainly, was a pleasure making them” whispered Aegon.

“You are the King; you are supposed to maintain etiquette and decorum” said Aemond.

“Since when have I ever done that” laughed Aegon.

“Lord Stark” said Aerys.

“Yes, My Prince?”

“Does Winterfell have direwolves?” asked Aerys curiously.

“Unfortunately, not My Prince they have not been seen sighted south of the wall in many years, although the men of the nights watch can hear them beyond the wall in the land of always winter” replied Cregan.

“I read a book in the library that says they can grow larger than ponies,” said Aerys.

“I’ve heard that too”.

“I wish I could see one, I have a dragon, his name is Karnax, but mother says dragons cannot fly beyond the wall, good Queen Alysanne tried and Silverwing refused her” said Aerys.

“I’m not to knowledgeable about the dragons My Prince, but if a dragon will not pass beyond the wall the mayhaps there is a reason for that” suggested Cregan.

“My dragons called Swiftwind because she’s the fastest dragon in the sky” said Saeryna.

“I think you’ll find that Terrax is the fastest” said Jaehaeryn.

“Nah uh-it’s Sapphyre” argued Vharla.

“What of Dreamfyre, Silverwing or even Morghul?” asked Daenerys.

“No, not fast enough”

“What cheek” muttered Rhaegar as Jaehaera frowned.

“Aurora” said Caelee in a sing song voice.

“Stupid name for a dragon” muttered Jaehaeryn.

“Your face is stupid, don’t say that about our sister’s dragon” snapped Aerys.

“Mother, Aerys said I was stupid” whined Jaehaeryn.

“Come on children that’s enough, we have company” replied Vaeryna.

“Well tell him then, he said I was stupid-“ retorted Jaehaeryn.

“-No, I said your face was stupid, there’s a difference” quipped Aerys.

“All of you cease this infernal arguing” ordered Aemond banging his fist on the table.

Immediately all conversation at the table ceased, as Aemond’s anger radiated round the room, all the children bowed their heads respectfully.

“Now, I will have no more talk of who’s dragon is the fastest, because its Vhagar-“

“-That mouldy old rock couldn’t catch a cold“ said Jaehaeryn.

“You dare insult the last living remnant of Aegon’s conquest?” asked Aemond.

“Well, I just meant that she’s old and she can’t fly as fast as she used too-sorry father I didn’t mean to insult Vhagar” mumbled Jaehaeryn grimacing under the glare of his father.

“Hm” said Aemond.

“As if you dared to insult Vhagar, bad move brother” whispered Daenerys.

“Do you have a dragon Uncle Egg?” asked Saeryna.

“I well-I used to he was called Stormcloud” replied Aegon quietly as he pushed the remainder of his food round his plate.

“What happened to him?”.

“H-He died saving my life” said Aegon sadly.

“Oh, I’m sorry uncle, he was very brave to do that” whispered Saeryna as she gently placed her hand over Aegon’s.

“Yes, he was brave”,

“Can you not just claim another dragon?” asked Jaehaeryn.

“I wasn’t aware there were any dragons left to claim” said Aegon.

“There’s Vermithor and Grey Ghost” said Vaeryna.

“I’m not so sure that I would like to claim another dragon”.

“Why not? You’re a Targaryen it is your birth right” said Jaehaeryn.

“I already had my dragon and I lost him, I just don’t know if I deserve another“.

“You will fly again nephew, when the time is right” said Jaehaera smiling.

“I’m not sure that I-“ muttered Aegon.

“-Your dragon will seek you out, the two of you will heal one another’s broken hearts”.

“My wife is very perceptive; you should listen to her” said Rhaegar as he took Jaehaera’s hand and kissed it.

“Oh gross, not you two as well, it’s bad enough that father is all lovestruck over mother”.

“Boy, if you carry on with that mouth of yours, I swear on the seven that you will confined to your chambers and banned from the library for a week” said Aemond firmly.

“Not fair” mumbled Jaehaeryn.

“Excuse me, do you want to repeat that?” challenged Aemond.

“No father” whispered Jaehaeryn.

Aemond conceded and then looked over at his brother who smirked.

“Don’t look at me, you decided to have all these children” said Aegon as he took a very large gulp of wine.

“If I didn’t know any better, I would suggest that he was your son”.

“I can’t sire anymore children brother, nice try though-that boy is your son through and through even down to the scowl” replied Aegon.

“I do not scowl” argued Aemond folding his arms across his chest.

“Yes, you do, you’re doing it now” said Aegon smirking.

[listerbirdloml]

this was probably from ages ago but some fun asks for you; favorite lister headcannons? [I]

OOH idk man i’m shit at head cannons ALSO THIS WAS SAT IN MY DRAFTS FOR AGES IM SO SORRY I THOUGHT I POSTED IT

- well in my mind i always read him with a northern english accent and i’m not sure why. i know he’s from kent like Rowan + Jimmy but he just gives off northern vibes idk. and after learning that his dads scottish i can also see him using lots of Scottish slang terms.

- i think he’s a slag for a bit of pop too. Britney, Ariana, Taylor, Reneé, you name it. he gets a bit embarrassed though so he turns off his AirBuds when he wants to listen to girly pop music. he has the widest music taste out of the ark, so his Spotify wrapped is always mental. he posts them every year and not once has the same song appeared in his top listened to

- ik he’s not like blonde blonde but i think his natural hair is a lot darker but he’s been dying it blonder since he first met Jimmy and Rowan. when the ark are on hiatus he lets it grow out to his natural colour for a bit.

- he tried to grow a stache one time but Rowan shaved it while he slept. Also he didn’t know how to shave when he first met Jimmy and Rowan, so Pierro taught him. Pierro also taught him how to tie a real tie rather than use a clip on one.

- Joan LOVED lister. she would always fuss over him when he would come over. When he’d come round he would help her in the garden, but really he was terrible and Joan would always have to fix his mistakes. when he told her about how he and his mum would listen to albums together when he was little, she began showing him her collection of old records from when she was a teen/young adult. when she died she left Lister a few of his favourites. Lister keeps them hidden at all times so when he was hosting parties there was no chance they’d get damaged. after they stopped having so many people over Lister kept them displayed in the living room.

- i think that before he and Jimmy got together he had healthy and fun relationship with someone unrelated. it’s not anything ridiculously serious but it helps him see what he should realistically be looking for and what he deserves. it’s not like he’s using the person though, and he actually really likes them. they eventually end things amicably though, and stay good friends.

- it says on the WIKI article alice wrote for him that he has three half siblings. as far as i can think there’s no canon information about them other than that, so i like to HC that they are all from his dads second marriage and they don’t talk much since Lister hasn’t been to visit his dad in years. the ages are;

1.) Lister (19-20)

2.) a sister who’s like 17ish, she’s super embarrassed about the whole ark thing and is reluctant to rebuild a relationship with him again when he reaches out to her post IWBFT, because she remembers how he used to constantly fight with their dad when he’d come over for christmas / two weeks in the summer holidays. when they do start to reconnect and get closer she helps him bond with their dad too. (maybe she’s called Maya?)

3.) a younger brother who’s 13ish and a total TWAT. they look really similar and he’s just like how Lister was in school but he’s hilarious and really admires Lister. somehow he’s stupid smart though, even if he’s class clown. i think he reaches out to Lister when he’s still in the hospital after the incident. i also think it would be funny if the younger brother’s celebrity crush was Jimmy but his image of jimmy is completely shattered when he meets him properly. (i call him Brodie in my head)

4.) his youngest sister who’s like 7 who barely remembers lister but once they get closer she has him wrapped around her little finger. he almost bought her a horse once but Jimmy and Rowan had to remind him that a 7 year old who lives in a city centre can not logistically look after a whole horse. (i think her names Eilidh)

- the ark move from the flat into a house just outside london and he makes sure they all have a room so they can visit whenever they want to.

- after getting to know them better, he gets really close with Angel and Juliet. the three of them and Bliss have “girls” nights in the arks flat. when Listers hair grows they teach him how to pleat it. he gets really good and when he starts seeing his half siblings again he pleats his sisters hair for them)

sorry idk man i yapped a bit 🤷‍♀️

[starlight-shades]

Called Home to the Depths of the Forest

• summary – Ghost, retired from the military, finds a pair of orphaned werewolf pups. He calls the only werewolf he knows for help. Soap and Ghost become (not so) reluctant dads. • rating – M • wordcount – 5.1k • warnings – Canon Typical Violence (there's some murder/gore), implied/referenced child abuse • This is my first fanfic, so please let me know if there's anything I forgot to tag. Feedback is welcome and encouraged

Read on Ao3

Chapter Two

People assume the woods are tranquil, peaceful, a quiet place to fall into oneself. And they are, but they’re also so incredibly alive. From the soil beneath the detritus of the forest floor, all the way up twisted tree trunks, and through the canopy of freshly revealed spring leaves, there is life. Simultaneously ancient and painfully finite. It’s one of the reasons that Simon chose to settle there.

He liked the unhurried pace of life he’d found in his cabin in the woods. It was just him in a home he had built himself, on land he’d bought with his savings. It wasn’t quite a single room. He’d indulged and built himself a bedroom and a modest kitchen with enough room in the pantry for his chest freezer. The bathroom wasn’t some piece of modern art, but it was functional, and his living room was just big enough to have a couch, a couple bookshelves, and an old iron stove where he could light fires to warm the place in the colder months. To some, the way he lived would be boring, but to Simon it was perfect. Another reason he chose this place was the fact that few neighbors meant that he could avoid social interaction for weeks if he chose to. Between his little garden and whatever his traps brought in, he had little need to trudge into the village for food. Unfortunately, there were some supplies that he couldn’t make or grow on his own (namely his favorite bourbon, or any bourbon really), so he would occasionally haunt the handful of shops in town.

Like always, his trip was uneventful. The most he had to speak to anyone was to the gossipy hens that seemed to have decided that he was their pet project. After a few years, one would think that the biddies would have figured out that their matchmaking attempts were in vain, but still they persisted.

At least this time, they weren’t trying to set him up with a woman.

But if he was pressed, Simon might admit that he didn’t mind their interference as much as one might expect. If pressed further, he might say that the fact that they bothered at all made him feel cared for at least a little, like he was part of the community. Not so much that he wanted to spend more time in the village, but still part of the community nonetheless.

By the time he was finished with his errands, he had filled his pack to the brim (he didn’t want to have to come back anytime soon), and it was nearing dusk.

“Och, dearie, it’s getting to be dark soon. You should see if Mac has a spare room at the inn, you shouldn’t be walking in the woods at night, it’s dangerous,” Mrs. Leeman, the woman who ran the garden supply, was saying. He had to stop himself from laughing. By his estimation, he was likely one of the more dangerous things in those woods.

“That’s alright, ma’am. I’ll take my chances,” he told her, slinging his pack over a shoulder.

“I know you’re a strong man, Simon, but people have been hearing wolves at night. Millie’s friend, Daisy, said she even saw one while she was walking home the other day. She said she’d never seen any wolf so big!”

He had a feeling he knew who she was talking about. What he didn’t realize was that he would learn just how wrong he was on his hike home.

It was dark by then, the sun having fully set an hour ago. The distance to his little cabin was quickly dwindling. He would likely be there in another thirty or forty minutes.

He had grown used to the soft sounds of the evening, the rustle of the wind through the trees, the fading bird calls, with the occasional burst of activity of an animal making its own way through the forest. It was all normal, all expected. Until it wasn’t.

Simon was jarred from the familiar headspace he had fallen into by the sounds of shouting and laughter. The crack of a gunshot was enough for him to drop into a crouch, immediately alert. With slow, careful steps, he crept towards the sounds. There wasn’t supposed to be any hunting in this stretch of the forest. It was too close to town.

“Oi, Jeffy, toss me your knife, I gotta finish off this one!”

There were at least two then. He was still just a little too far away to have a clear idea of the scene.

“What happened to your knife?”

“Stuck the big bastard over here with it. Must’ve hit bone cuz I can’t get it out.”

Simon’s heart stuttered. No. Please god no.

“Use Harry’s.”

A sharp whine cut through the air and spurred him forward, hand already brandishing his hunting knife, ready to sink it into the first body he saw.

The clearing appeared before him and he took it all in. There was blood, too much blood for just a normal hunt. There were three men, one hunched over the corpse of what appeared to be an abnormally large wolf, thick coat matted with its own gore. Simon could hear the wet snick of the knife as he seemed to be skinning the creature.

He felt like his stomach had completely fallen away, but no. It wasn’t him. The fur that wasn’t covered was too light to be him.

The other two men loomed over another wolf. It was more than half-dead, but still it moved as best it could to block their movement forward. Wild eyes, still bright, met his for a moment before shifting back to the enemies in front.

Suddenly, the wolf was no longer a wolf. All at once, her skin rippled and pulled and her bones crunched and rearranged themselves. A woman, naked and bloody knelt on the ground, her breathing labored. She was covered in wounds, some half-healed, but too many to recover from. Simon’s heart sunk. There would be no saving her.

“Please,” she wheezed, looking back at him again with blood dripping from her mouth, her teeth stained red. “Keep them safe.”

“What—“

Before any of them could process her words, she lunged forward, trying to take the knife, but the man, presumably Harry struggled with her for it.

“No!” Simon screamed, his knife already sunk into the man’s throat, his arm extended, but it was too late. The woman’s body slumped away with a blade sunk deep in her gut.

“Who the fuck are you?” Harry’s friend asked, but Ghost was already moving, retrieving the knife from the woman’s body and slicing clean across his neck.

“Martin!” the last man, Jeffy, screamed.

His reflexes has slowed as he had fallen out of practice, and as a result Ghost took a knife to his back, but he recovered quickly enough. Ripping it out, he slashed at his assailant. He missed by a hair’s breadth, narrowly avoiding getting socked in the face. Adrenaline doing its work, Ghost surged forward, kicking the man’s knee, forcing him to the ground as it snapped backwards with a sharp crack, and finally sinking the knife into his eye socket with a wet crunch.

As the red haze of the fight cleared, Simon became aware of the pained cries coming from somewhere behind him. He turned, and also became aware of the pain in his shoulder from where he was stabbed. With one hand pressing down as best he could over his wound, Simon headed back into the woods towards the sounds. What he found horrified him almost worse than the murder scene behind him.

Two sets of wide, frightened eyes stared at him from inside a cage set in the trailer hitched to an ATV. Little faces pressed to the metal bars, trying to get as close to the fallen woman as they could, paws scrambling to get through.

“Shit.”

Sometimes he worried that his time spent as a human weapon would have numbed him to the pain of others. Luckily it hadn’t, not completely, if the kennel in the corner of his living room was any indication. The door was unlatched and propped open, a blanket laid out in offering.

They were huddled in the back of the kennel together. Luckily they had stopped shaking for the most part, but they still watched him with guarded eyes.

Simon wasn’t completely sure what werewolf pups ate, but he wanted to offer them something as they waited. He checked his phone again, but there was still no reply to his earlier message.

Opening his refrigerator did not lead to any easy answers. The bulb flickered as he stood with the door open, the cold slowly seeping beneath his skin. With a sigh, he grabbed the venison he had been thawing for dinner.

Werewolf pups could probably eat the same thing as people or regular wolves… hopefully… He just hoped that these ones were old enough to be weaned, but he was man enough to admit, at least to himself, he had no idea what he was doing.

Simon kept half his attention on the pups in his living room who had snatched up the blanket, but retreated back into the kennel, and the other half on the thin slices of meat he had in his pan.

Was this enough food? What if they couldn’t eat solids? What if they didn’t like it? What would he do?

He just had to guess and hope that it was good enough.

Simon was pulled abruptly from his thoughts when the sound of his phone ringing cut through the otherwise silent cabin.

“Johnny.”

“What the hell are you on about? You found wolf pups?”

He relaxed marginally the moment he heard the familiar Scottish accent.

“You better get over here to have a look at them.”

“Aye.”

Briefly, Simon observed that Johnny never seemed to mind the way he ended conversations so abruptly before he shifted his focus back to plating the food he had prepared for his unexpected guests. He only had one set of everything in his kitchen, so the two would have to share, but somehow he didn’t think they would mind too much.

He walked across the hardwood in his socks and set the offering slightly in front of the kennel, shoulder twinging through the haphazard job he had done wrapping it. One of the first things he had done after getting them settled in the corner was taking off his boots that were caked in mud, and likely bits of gore he hadn’t noticed. While confident in his ability to tread silently to avoid startling them, from previous conversations with Johnny, he knew that werewolves had far superior hearing to anything he could understand, and he wasn’t sure what the bounds of that were. The only reason he knew anything at all was because of Johnny’s dogged persistence in his attempt to befriend Simon.

Slowly, as to avoid sudden movements, Simon backed away from the food and settled back in the kitchen. He was far enough away to give them space, but close enough that he could keep an eye on them while he waited. Light from the waning gibbous moon highlighted the dust motes floating through the air as it shone through the window. He sunk back into the headspace he utilized when he hunted, stilling his mind, his breath, his body, becoming a part of his surroundings.

After about ten minutes, he watched as one of the pups crept forward, snuffling towards the venison. He could see that she was the one with the friendship bracelet, which, as he observed more closely, he could see had a small charm. With a quick glance at him, as if to make sure he wouldn't take it from her, she snatched a mouthful without swallowing and shrunk back to the shelter of the blanket and the other pup. She dropped her bounty on the floor of the kennel and the two began devouring the meat. Simon felt his mouth twitch, as if to smile.

When the small bit of venison was gone, the girl went back for more, this time without another look at Simon, repeating the process until it was all gone. After a small whine, Simon got up to look through what other food he could give them. He emerged from his kitchen, this time with a handful of wild berries he had foraged. Moving slowly, he once again set them down on the plate in front of the kennel. Before he had even retreated back to his chair in the kitchen, he watched the girl once again dart out to gather them up and devour them with her companion.

The three sunk back into silence. As the night wore on, Simon watched as the pups reluctantly began to sleep, startling awake every few moments before settling completely. With no intention to sleep that night himself, he took to watching the steady rise and fall of their breathing, as well as he could observe from the other room and through the blanket they had burrowed into at the back of the kennel. After waiting long enough to be confident they wouldn’t wake, he settled closer to them on his couch, placing himself between them and the door.

In a departure from his usual style, Johnny announced his arrival not with an enthusiastic banging on the door, but rather with a more subdued knock. As Simon opened it, a cautious hand on the handle of the hunting knife sheathed on his hip, Johnny pushed past him with his face settled into a focused expression Simon rarely observed from him. His usual exuberance was absent, instead replaced by a steadiness that he had not expected if he was being honest.

With barely a look at Simon, Johnny made a beeline to where the kennel stood in the corner, crouching down to look at the pups who had startled awake at his arrival.

“Oh aren’t you wee ones a sight,” he cooed softly.

When he tried to reach inside, the shyer boy retreated even further back with a whine while the girl’s hackles puffed up. She snapped at Johnny with her baby-sharp teeth and a clearly unpracticed growl. He just let out a soft laugh.

“Aren’t you a good sister, protecting your brother like that.” Without turning to look at him, Johnny directed Simon back into the kitchen, and spoke his question quietly. “Where are their parents, do you know?”

“Are they yours?” Simon asked, not bothering to answer him directly. “They’re siblings?”

“Aye, they’re from the same litter, but I don’t know them. My pack isn’t exactly a traditional one. I’m the only wolf,” he explained with a soft sadness that Simon wasn’t sure he meant to reveal.

Simon was quiet for a moment. He hoped his suspicions weren’t correct.

“Their parents were killed. Came across some hunters on my way home.”

He startled as Johnny let out an unexpected snarl, whipping his attention to the not-quite-man. His face had shifted slightly, nose and mouth extending as his skull fought to change shape beneath his skin. Johnny’s pupils had shrunk to slits, and his eyes had changed to a sharper blue. As he fought to calm himself, Simon watched as Johnny gripped his arms, bulging in muscle, with fingers tipped with blackening claws. He could feel his heart racing in his chest, some primal part of him acknowledging his proximity to a more dangerous predator.

With a steadiness he didn’t quite feel, Simon reassured him, “I dealt with them. They won’t be a problem.”

Johnny’s icy eyes snapped to his. “Where are they? I’ll make sure of it.”

“I left their bodies where they were about forty minutes south of here. I’ll have to go back and dispose of them soon.”

Before he could process the nod he got, Simon was alone again in the kitchen. His front door shut with a clatter.

Picking his way back to the living room through the tattered remains of Johnny’s clothes on the floor, Simon sank back down on the couch to resume his watch.

Eventually, the pups settled back down into a fitful sleep. He wondered how he could get them into a bath to wash off the grime they were covered in if they wouldn’t let Johnny even get close enough to touch them.

In the hours to sunrise, Simon occupied himself with the logistics of caring for these two little ones. If Johnny’s pack didn’t have any other wolves, would he be able to take them like Simon had previously planned? From what he had understood, Johnny had implied that werewolf packs were familial. Did that mean Johnny didn’t have any family? He felt a curious and uninvited pang in his chest at that thought. Were there even other wolves in the area who could take them in? Was there a supernatural sort of child services who could find them a suitable home?

He felt like he was floundering. It wasn’t like he was prepared to take care of human children, let alone any that came with additional attributes like sharp teeth and claws.

Before he could spiral further, Simon tried to find that stillness that he had fallen into earlier, but for whatever reason it was much harder this time.

Hours passed like that. Him on the couch, oscillating between a practiced focus, his mind blissfully clear, then a soft sound from one of the pups would send him rocketing back into all of the questions he had.

What if he found a home for them, but they were hunted again? Did the idiots he took care of have friends? More of them to wreak havoc on these little lives?

Before long, the light of the sunrise drifted through the windows, washing everything in gold.

It had been awhile since he had deliberately stayed up the whole night. Usually it was his night terrors that would keep him awake these days. Simon couldn’t say he missed it. He stood, his joints creaking.

“I’m too old for this,” he muttered under his breath as he made his way over to the coffee machine that looked like it had been through a war or two of its own. He rarely used it these days, usually preferring to wake up with a cup of his favorite black tea, but this morning he knew he would need the extra fortification, so he made the whole pot.

Reaching into his chest freezer, he pulled out a parcel wrapped in butcher paper. He figured since the pups seemed to enjoy the venison last night, he might try the bacon he had cured himself. As it thawed in the microwave, Simon started pulling out the rest of the ingredients he would need for breakfast. It wasn’t quite a full English, but toast, eggs, and bacon would have to be good enough for now.

He stared at the orange juice concentrate he kept for when he was craving it. Thinking for a moment, he made his decision and pulled it out. Simon prepared it according to the instructions, but instead of putting it in the single glass he had, he poured it into a bowl.

As he cooked, he periodically looked over at the kennel to check on his wards. The smell of sizzling breakfast seemed to be enough to rouse them, and bright, wary eyes gazed back at him from their blanket shelter. They seemed to have wrapped it completely around them sometime in the night.

“Apologies, I don’t usually have visitors, so I’m going to need that plate back.” Simon felt a little silly talking to what looked like a pair of overgrown husky puppies, but he reminded himself that inside those furry little things were thinking, feeling children.

He approached their kennel a little faster than he had last night, but still moving with a deliberateness as to not startle them. Picking up the plate, he noticed that there seemed to be a distinct lack of juices. They had apparently managed to sneak by him and lick them up.

Simon quickly retreated back to the kitchen, washing up the plate, and piling it high with breakfast cut into pup sized pieces. He set it back down in front of the kennel again, but this time it was accompanied by the bowl of orange juice. Using his cutting board as his own plate, he sat back down on the couch. Before long, both pups had emerged to sniff at the plate, and deciding it was acceptable, they dug in and ate with an enthusiasm that must be endemic to werewolves because he had only ever seen Johnny manage it before. He even spied some tentative wags.

Taking a sip of his coffee, he hissed as it scalded his tongue.

“Fuck!” He darted his eyes over to where the pups had frozen for a moment before eating again when they realized he wasn’t a threat. “I guess I should stop swearing around you, huh?”

Simon finished his breakfast in silence. He set the cutting board aside and sat back, watching as the pups lapped happily at their plate.

“At the very least, I probably need to get a few more dishes.”

Moving onto the orange juice, Simon watched as they made even more of a mess of themselves, taking big wet gulps, and getting the juice everywhere.

Taking advantage of their distraction, he slowly moved a little closer to them, sinking down to sit on the floor. When the girl noticed, she moved hesitantly toward him, watching for any movement from him. Simon had never sat so still in his life, a feat for certain considering his history. She got closer, making little snuffling noises as she sniffed him.

Keeping his voice low, Simon spoke to her. “Brave girl.”

She froze for a moment at the sound, darting her eyes up to him. When he didn’t make a move, she stepped closer to him, investigating everything she could find.

“I’m going to lift my hand to you, alright?” He figured announcing his movements might make her more comfortable.

Simon offered his hand to her, knuckles first, keeping his fingers curled in loosely. She sniffed at him and after a moment where she paused before making a decision, she pushed her head into his hand for pets. He chuckled, pleased that she appeared to be warming up to him. Her fur was a bit stiff from the mud and various other grime coating it, but Simon ignored it for the moment.

“I’m going to have to figure out what to call you both, huh?” he thought aloud, not really expecting any sort of response. His eyes were back on the boy who remained crouched in the kennel when he felt her push more insistently at his hand, not with her head this time, but with her paw. When he looked back at her, she held out the paw with the ratty friendship bracelet still tied to it. Carefully, he inspected it and the charm that dangled from it.

“Ailsa. That you?”

She gave him a nod that looked eerily out of place coming from what looked like an animal.

“And that’s your brother?”

Another nod. Johnny had already said they were siblings, but it couldn’t hurt to keep talking to her as long as she was interested in communicating in her own way.

“I’m Simon. Me and my friend, Johnny, are going to get you sorted. He’s a wolf like you. He was in here earlier.”

He wasn’t sure what else he should tell them. He wasn’t even sure how old they were or how much they could understand.

Now that he could see Ailsa better, he took note of her appearance. She was about the size of a medium-sized dog, with ears that seemed a little too big for her head. It was hard to tell what color her fur was or if she had any markings through the muck. Her eyes were a honey-amber color, and her nose had a charming little pink spot that stood out from its mostly dark brown color. He could see mixed in with the mud was a dark brown staining her fur that could really only be one thing. Simon’s heart ached for them.

She sat down next to Simon as he began to absent-mindedly stroke her ears. She looked back at her brother in the kennel and let out a small yip. He took it as his cue to hesitantly slink forward to sit with them as well. Like his sister before him, the boy sniffed at Simon, but much more tentatively.

With one hand still gently petting Ailsa, Simon offered him his other hand. After only a moment, he too pushed his head into Simon’s outstretched palm.

Unlike Ailsa, the boy didn’t have a helpful bracelet to identify him. He was in much the same shape as her, but Simon could tell he had a bit darker fur. He was also a bit smaller than his sister, but his paws were clearly growing faster than the rest of him.

After a few pets on the head, he pushed further into Simon’s side and curled up as close as he could get.

“A right cuddle-bug aren’t you?” he chuckled. “Oh! You too, Ailsa.”

She surprised him by sinking into his other side, laying her head in his lap for more pets.

As the sun rose higher in the sky, it shifted into place to cast light onto the spot where Simon sat on the floor with the pups. He could feel his eyes begin to drift closed as the warmth from the sun and the furry bodies cuddled close created the perfect storm. Exhaustion finally won out and they slept.

That was how Johnny found them.

At about midmorning, Simon awoke when his front door opened unexpectedly. With a reaction honed from his time as a soldier, he launched the hunting knife on his belt at the intruder.

“Bleedin’ Jesus, Simon!” Johnny yelped, moving with inhuman speed, he narrowly avoided the blade just before it sunk into the wooden doorframe where his head was a second before.

Without thinking, his body had already moved to push the pups behind him as Simon registered who was at his door.

“Why are you wet?”

Johnny looked awful. His stupid mohawk was flattened to his head and he was soaked, head to toe. His legs were absolutely covered in mud, but the rest of him appeared mostly clear of any forest-related debris. There were bags under his eyes that hadn’t been there before, and he looked haunted.

“What? No ‘Hello?’” he clearly fought for the smile that honestly looked more like a grimace that he had pasted onto his face.

Simon remained silent. He had one hand on each of the pups behind him, and he could feel the little boy shivering again. Turning back to him, he tried to soothe him with a few pets, and eventually the shaking dissipated. Johnny sighed and his shoulders dropped.

“I found their parents.” When Johnny cast a look at the pups, Simon knew there was more he would share with him later. “I gave them as proper a burial as I could manage. Took all night. Was dirty and didn’t want to come back all covered so I washed off as best I could in a stream on the way back. The shit-stains that did this have been taken care of.”

Simon nodded. While he was used to it, as Johnny tended to shift as he pleased around him, he noticed that there was a distinct lack of clothes on the other man. Belatedly, he gathered the pups closer and covered their eyes.

“Borrow some pants.”

He let out a laugh as he crossed over to the hallway that led to Simon’s bedroom.

“They’ve probably already seen it all, Si. Werewolves aren’t exactly embarrassed about nudity,” he called back.

He let out a long-suffering sigh, and looked down at the pups who had ducked the hands attempting to cover their eyes. Ailsa wiggled out of his hold while her brother sunk further into it. Simon wasn’t sure what had shifted during their nap, but they seemed to have decided he was alright in their books.

Something inside him settled.

Johnny emerged moments later, tying the drawstring of a pair of Simon’s sweatpants, and he dutifully ignored the way that made him feel.

“Johnny, meet Ailsa and her brother.”

The boy was still plastered to his side, but Ailsa cautiously approached Johnny who had crouched down and offered her his hand to sniff.

“Hey there, bonnie girl,” he said softly, in a tone that Simon was beginning to recognize that he reserved for children.

She sniffed Johnny’s hand in the same way she had Simon’s, but where she had pressed her head into his palm, she gave Johnny’s hand a little lick and retreated back to her brother’s side, keeping her eyes on Johnny the entire time.

“And little one, are you Duncan?” he asked softly.

Simon shot him an incredulous look, but his attention was quickly stolen back when he felt the pup move at his side. He was nodding slowly, letting out a whine that had his sister licking at his face in an attempt to comfort him. Simon found himself stroking his head again without even thinking about it.

“How the he—“ he had to stop himself, “heck, how the heck did you know that? Is that some wolf-y power I should know about?”

Johnny snorted. “I found some torn up clothes that had their names written on the tags. Smelled like them. How’d you figure out Ailsa’s name?”

Simon indicated the bracelet with his chin.

They were quiet a moment before a thought occurred to him. He spoke directly to the pups, hoping that they would acquiesce.

“Alright pups, you’ve been fed and we’ve had a nap. I think it’s time we get you into a bath.”

A chorus of whines erupted, and Duncan darted back into the crate, faster than Simon expected. Ailsa quickly followed, narrowly avoiding getting swiped up in Simon’s arms.

Johnny burst into laughter as he watched Simon struggle to convince the two skittish creatures to come out so they could get them clean. Eventually, he managed to find Simon’s stash of sweets he had tucked away in his pantry and used them to bribe Ailsa and Duncan into the tub, one at a time.

And that was how Simon found himself drenched, top to toe, alongside Johnny, with the smell of wet dog so entrenched in his bathroom that he feared he would never get it out.

[whenikissedthegiyuu]

would you kiss me?

prince!rindou x princess!reader

to love and to be loved, that is all a girl wants

initially this was going in a whole another direction but then i wanted to go further back before they decided to give into their feelings - maybe will start a tag list if enough people are interested and i find enough inspiration to write their story even if it’s out of order

word count 2k

fem!reader, first pov, royalty au, a pathetic attempt at angst, mutual pining, forbidden love, talks of marriage and children, written at 3am not edited at all

My lips curled into a grin as I slipped my hand into Ran’s awaiting palm. He kissed my knuckles before pulling me towards the center of the ballroom as the orchestra began playing a slow song. We swayed to the rhythm, his cheek pressed against my temple.

My eyes fell on Rindou, lilac eyes watching us as he drank his champagne. My chest tightened when he darted his gaze away and slipped away from the crowd.

I had always hated balls and celebrations ever since I was a kid, but now I hated them even more since Ran and I had to pretend to be the happy couple in front of everyone when they knew damn well we weren’t.

“Are you alright, doll?” Ran asked after a few songs of faster paced dancing. “Want to sit down?”

“I could use some fresh air, I’m not feeling well.” I murmured, holding onto his arm as he pulled us away from the crowd of dancing people that had formed around us.

He led me into the gardens with a hand on my lower back, but we were intercepted by one of his distant cousins on the way.

“Well, if it isn’t my favorite cousins!” She offered us a wide smile and took my hands in hers. “How have you been, darling? We didn’t see you on my husband’s birthday last month.”

“I truly apologize. I had an emergency and couldn’t accompany Ran.”

“Oh, no worries, dear! I know once you get married and start having children you’ll be unable to even grace us with your presence once a year with how busy you’ll be!”

My lips parted as I stared wide eyed at the woman at the mention of children. Ran came to my rescue, smiling sweetly at her as he started pulling me away. “If you’ll excuse us, we were on our way outside for some alone time.”

He started walking again without another word, only stopping once we stepped out into the garden and the chilly breeze of the night met our skin.

“There it is again…” I trailed off as I sat down on the stairs leading outside.

Ran sighed and stared up at the moon. His lips were curled down and eyebrows furrowed together.

I blinked away a tear that threatened to fall from my eyes. “You can go back inside, Ran. I don’t want to keep you away from your people.”

“Don’t stress yourself over her words.” He turned to look down at me. “Our betrothal was announced months ago, it’s only natural they start asking about the wedding and children.”

“I don’t want to start popping out children the moment we get married. It’s the only thing I’ve heard from my mother and aunts for years.” I stood up and pointed at the brunet. “You have absolutely no idea what my life was like growing up. While you got to run around the gardens and get dirty and play all you wanted to, I–”

“Hey, doll–“ Ran muttered as he tried to grab my hand but I was faster than him and took a step back.

“I had to learn how to do my makeup, what utensils to use when, what to say, how to serve tea, what to wear, and how to take care of my- no, not my children, your heirs.”

He remained still as I started punching his chest. His hand raised slightly to gesture his guards away, but he remained otherwise stoic as I let out all my anger with him.

“I never could do whatever I wanted. I wanted to ride my horse around the castle grounds, meet with the villagers every once in a while to see how I could help them, a-and–“ I paused when my voice cracked and let Ran crush my arms between us as he engulfed me in a hug. “I wanted to run my country, my people. I wanted to marry for love.”

I buried my face in his chest, tears falling freely down my face.

“I couldn’t even stand to look at you months ago when we saw each other after so many years. Suddenly I was faced with the very reason I had to learn about being the perfect wife and mother– to be your perfect wife and the doting mother of your children.”

He tilted my chin to make me look at him. “And you think I didn’t want to marry for love? That I didn’t want to, at least, court you and get to know you better after not seeing you for so long before we were thrusted into this relationship?”

“And why didn’t you?”

“My father left me no choice. He doesn’t expect to leave for the heavens anytime soon, but he wants to guarantee that I have an heir as soon as possible.”

I clicked my tongue, pushing him away from me as I walked up the steps. “I can’t believe this. I literally just told you I cannot stand speaking of children, of heirs. Can you even begin to imagine the pressure that puts on me? Can you imagine the scandal if I’m unable to give you any children at all? They’ll blame me, of course. Men are never guilty of infertility.”

Stopping at the top of the stairs, I glanced at Ran over my shoulder. His hands were inside his pockets, lips pursed together as he stared at me.

“Please excuse me with our parents and whoever asks about me. I’m not feeling quite well enough to put up a front right now.”

I took a deep breath and grabbed my skirt, walking down the hallway and away from the loud ballroom.

Closing the library doors behind me, I leaned my back on them and took a deep breath. While my initial intentions were to grab a book and read in my room for a couple of hours until I fell asleep, I didn’t even feel like reading once I got there.

I closed my eyes as I shakily let out the air from my lungs. My knees gave out and I slid down the door, tired of pretending to be the happy little bride my parents’ wanted me to be with Ran.

I felt movement nearby. A chair scraping the floor, then footsteps came up to me until I felt someone sitting beside me.

“I heard you talking to Ran.”

I was met with no other than my future brother in law staring at the ceiling, then meeting my eyes when he noticed my staring.

“Ran’s always been the charismatic brother, always knew what to say to gain our people’s respect and adoration.” He started, arms crossing over his chest as he adjusted his position against the wall. “He’s a natural leader. I’m the second best, always have been. I’m not introverted at all, but since I’m not the heir I’m often overlooked. Even more so after my mother died.”

My heart squeezed when I remembered her funeral and the tears that didn’t stop rolling down both brothers’ cheeks all throughout the funeral. Despite not remembering her much as much as he did, I did know she always treated me like the daughter she never had– how I wished my own mother treated me.

I reached over and took his hand in mine, lilac eyes widening slightly before adjusting his grip to hold onto my fingers. He was quiet for a moment longer, then closed his eyes as he leaned his head on the wall.

“There was so much pressure on his shoulders to be the perfect crown prince and never have a single hair out of place. He always used to put up a stoic front when we had to attend balls and events, loathing putting up with everyone’s hypocrisy.” He squeezed my hand. “Until your engagement was announced and he started appearing with you at all these events. His smiles look genuine now and he almost seems like he enjoys himself.”

“Almost?” I tsked, shuffling closer to the long haired male and pulling our hands to rest on my lap. “Gotta step up my game then.”

He scoffed. “What I want to say is that Ran’s lucky to have you and he knows that, he appreciates you. He would do anything for you… Even honor your wish about children.”

A sigh escaped my lips as I leaned my head on the blond’s shoulder. “I don’t think so. He wouldn’t go against your father.”

“Give him some credit. You’ll be his immediate family when you get married. He’ll probably even learn to love you, the way you deserve.”

“Oh, no. I hope not. I am marrying him because I have no other option, because it’s my duty.” I paused, then shook my head. “I don’t see myself falling in love with him.”

Rindou was quiet for a moment. I closed my eyes as if that would prevent him from feeling my racing heart where my chest was pressed against his arm. His finger hooked underneath my chin and he lifted my face to look at him. My breath hitched at how close we were, my free hand coming up to grab his wrist but making no move to actually push him away.

“Why not?”

It took me a moment to realize what he was asking. I grinned, then let out a laugh at his furrowed eyebrows. “All my teenage years saying I had a crush on you and you’re still wondering why I can’t love your brother? Did you not take me seriously?”

His lips twitched as he failed to hold back a smile. “I believe your exact words were that you were gonna be my wife someday.” He breathed out, fingers moving to cup my cheek.

“I did say that, didn’t I?” I murmured softly.

His fingers tightened around mine. “My father didn’t allow it.”

I furrowed my eyebrows. “What?”

“I told him I wanted to make you my wife.”

My lips parted at his confession. “Rindou–“

He leaned forward, making me forget just what I was about to say. His eyes fell on my lips as he paused just a breath away from me.

“What?” He murmured softly, letting go of my hand to cup my other cheek. “Did you not take me seriously?” He echoed my own words back to me.

He didn’t move a single inch even as I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

“I’m not going to kiss you if you don’t want to. I need a yes from you.”

My eyes fluttered open, they fell on his parted lips. “It’s not that I don’t want to, Rin.”

“Would you kiss me if you weren’t engaged to my brother?”

We stared at each other for a moment. When my lips parted to reply, a knock on the door startled us, making me push the blond away from me. I cleared my throat as he stood, then helped me up. “Yes?”

“I apologize for the intrusion, your Highness. I thought I might find prince Rindou in there, his Majesty and his Highness are looking for him.”

I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding when I realized it was just a servant at the door. I thanked whoever could hear my prayers that it wasn’t Ran at the door since he probably would’ve barged in without announcing himself.

“I believe I saw him heading for the gardens earlier, perhaps you should check outside.” Rindou rolled his eyes, a smile on his lips at my attempt to divert their attention from the upper floors.

“Thank you, your Highness. Don’t hesitate to call for us if you need anything before bed.”

“Will do.”

We remained quiet until we couldn’t hear her footsteps anymore. Rindou chuckled softly, “Guess that’s my cue to go.”

“Don’t keep them waiting.” I turned my back on him, heading toward the bookshelves to grab that book I came into the library in the first place for.

Rindou pulled me back toward him, fingers curling around my forearm to keep me in place. I looked at him expectantly.

“Forget what I said, okay? I don’t want to make you feel like you have to choose between my brother and I, mainly because our families already chose for you.”

He leaned down to press a gentle kiss to my knuckles, then walked out of the library without letting me say another word. My lips slowly curled into a smile despite the disappointment growing in me at the interrupted moment.

I traced my lips absentmindedly with my fingertips. Would I have really kissed him?

[prairiefirewitch]

Tit for Tat: Nontraditional Offerings

I have a personal rule when petitioning a deity or spirit or ancestor to help me accomplish a thing. The bigger the ask, the bigger the offering. Whatever we offer, it’s a sacrifice.

Of course I do the usual things; flowers, favored food, particular alcohols and beverages, tobacco, incense. All of these things may be welcomed, but I believe that when I’m petitioning a deity or spirit to do a bigger task or to guide me on deeper work, my offering shouldn’t be low effort if I expect them to work on my behalf. My assumption is that deities too get bored with sameness, and if I’m trying to get their attention, I need to offer something that will delight them or intrigue them.

That isn’t to say that small offerings aren’t effective, but if I’m petitioning Athena to help me see justice in a court case, for example, I want her to know I’m serious and that I’m willing to dig deep to have her on my side. I’m pulling out all stops to get her to help me, commensurate to my ability to provide offerings. In other words, if all I’m able to do is buy Athena a bunch of grocery store flowers, that’s enough because that’s the best I can do. But if I’m able take that further and grow and nurture a garden of flowers dedicated to her, I’m going to do that, because I want her to see me making an effort. I want her to know that this petition is important to me and I’m willing to work to get her help.

Big effort offerings don’t have to cost a lot of money and they don’t have to be ostentatious. We’re not talking about sacrificing babies and we’re not emptying our bank accounts. The amount of effort is the point here, and our willingness to go beyond the typical is what we’re aiming for. I think long term commitment is important too.

One of my favorite offerings to Hekate is a yearly donation to Coyote Project. 10% of every sale of my Coyote candles goes to them to help educate and impact legislation on coyote killing contests in the United States. Dogs are sacred to her and according to Apollonius of Rhodes, the barking of hounds signaled that she was near. Ovid tells us that black dogs were sacrificed to her, but I don’t offer animal sacrifices, and it feels appropriate to make offerings to her instead to protect this species of canine. I also make food donations to my local animal shelter monthly. A key aspect of these donations for me, is that I commit to ongoing support to the Coyote Project and my local shelter indefinitely rather than just once.

A few years ago someone asked me what an appropriate offering would be to Hera to help with some marital issues. Rather than offer the typical flowers and incense, I suggested they give up something. I suggested they give up cigarettes or alcohol or some other vice. It’s a unconventional offering, but it works two-fold: she’d be giving up something detrimental to her health and maybe to her relationship, and she’d also be treating her own body as an offering. In other words, her body becomes a temple to Hera.

Here are other offerings to consider that go beyond the wine, flowers, incense routine.

Commit to a fitness or health regime.

Volunteer in your community.

Prepare a dumb (silent) supper.

Learn a new skill and practice it in their honor.

Write a poem, play, or music as offering.

Spend time learning about them.

Prepare a ritual wine or mead and use it in your offerings.

Make art depicting them.

Sing songs or recite their hymns.

Make revelry and dance and laugh and howl at the moon.

Grow a garden of plants dedicated to your deity.

Give up something, i.e. soda, liquor, excess spending, red meat, unhealthy relationships.

Clean a local park or stream.

Commit to prayer or meditation everyday.

Dedicate a perfume or scent to them and wear it daily or during ritual.

Practice nature stewardship.

Make a pilgrimage to sacred sites.

Build a dedicated altar outside.

Ritually clean your altar space regularly.

Take a ritual bath and anoint yourself with perfumes and oils.

Donate time or money to charities.

This isn’t an exhaustive list; there are many other ways of honoring and petitioning deity. And offering doesn’t end at the stage where you’re asking for something; it’s just good manners to make an offering of thanks once the petition is granted.

[killiansprincss]

A Court of Vines and Shadow - for @cssns ‘23

SUMMARY: When Dark One Killian Jones makes Faerie Princess Emma of Misthaven spend 3 moon cycles a year with him to break a curse, Emma never expected to fall in love with him. Now she was walking down the aisle, meant to marry a man she doesn't love because she can never be with the one her heart wants. Or can she?

An ACOTAR Inspired fic written for Captain Swan Supernatural Summer 23. Also on A03

Also it’s July 9th and Speak Now Taylor’s Version just came out I feel like Speak Now is the perfect song to accompany this fic!!

Huge thanks to @cssns for this amazing event which allowed me to bring this to life! And special shoutouts to @hollyethecurious for the amazing art and also to my awesome beta @blonde-of-sherwood 💙💜

White dress. The Spring fallen gardens filled with flowers upon flowers, petals scattered all the way down the aisle and vines spiralling the chairs and arch. Flowers Emma had grown herself with her magic, snowbells and lilies, her mothers favourite flowers, the ones she first learnt how to grow using her magic when it first manifested all those years ago.

Her mother was who she was doing this for. Marrying someone she doesn’t love. Her mother worked so hard to arrange the various meetings with suitors, all noble Fae men, only the best for the Princess of Misthaven. Her mother never got to have a big wedding, she met Emma’s father and fell in love almost as quickly as she fell pregnant. As newly appointed King of Misthaven, they had to elope quickly so the Kingdom would be more accepting of their new Queen, who also happened to be a demi-fae. Her mother, who Emma dearly loved, so much so that she was marrying someone she had had just 3 conversations with all to appease the Kingdom and not go to Civil War because of the man she does love.

Killian. That’s who her mind wandered to. The Prince of Darkness as the rest of the Kingdom saw him. It had taken a while to see past his shadows and darkness, which she now understands was built from the loss of his family and the only people he had ever loved. But she loved him fiercely, anytime they were apart it broke her. Having to say goodbye for the final time was the closest Emma had felt to heartbreak. 

So here she was, standing in her white dress, flowers in her hair and bouquet in her hands, where she would meet her father, take his arm and walk down the aisle to marry Lord Walsh. Pushing thoughts of Killian to the back of her mind as she walked towards the aisle to all the smiling faces of her Kingdom. She had to do this, she loved Killlian but they both knew they would never be together in the way they wanted. She just wished she had allowed herself to see past his darkness sooner and they could have had more time together. 

“Emma.” An all too familiar voice calls her name from behind the aisle. He uses his power to bind the shadows to him, making him appear in a sort of smoke of darkness as he steps towards his lover. One of his other talents includes stopping time, just for a few minutes, but those few minutes were all he needed.

“Killian. What are you doing here?” As much as she loved him, it pained her to see him here. They had said their goodbyes a few nights prior. Seeing him here, in a white dress about to marry someone else, it wasn’t right.

“I have tried, Emma, truly I have tried to stay away. If it made you happy I would stand by and let you marry someone else, but I can feel your pain all the way in Neverland. It’s causing me pain too, and I think I understand now, it’s why I was so drawn to you the very first time we met, why, even when you hated me you could never really stay away.”

“Killan, you’re not making any sense, what are you saying?” It was painful seeing him, she was hurting, thinking of their time together and how fate was so cruel to not allow them more time.

“You’re my mate.” 

His mate. Mates in this world were rare, her parents were never granted that luxury. She hadn’t known of anyone in the last 200 years who found their Mate. So why her? Why now?

Mates were equal in power and status, perfectly matched by the universe. A one true love, a soulmate. She never denied she loved Killian, but being his Mate was a whole other experience. It made sense in a way, they were drawn together at the ball when they first met. He could sense she was powerful, he recognised her untapped powers, something even her parents were unable to do. And she was never scared of him either, she had heard the rumours of course, and knew what he was capable of, but that didn't scare her. 

_______________

Emma had been to hundreds of balls in her lifetime, even when she was a little girl, she would sneak into the ones at her palace, and watch everyone dance. They all shared a unique beauty about them, from the way the light reflected on the dresses worn or the chandeliers making rainbows across the walls, they were a thing of otherworldly beauty. But this ball in particular was nothing like those she was used to. It was hosted just outside Misthavens borders, an old castle known to be taken up residence by a Fae many years ago known as “The Dark One”. Rumours began to spiral that the Dark One was back. It had been years since he had been seen and random killings had stopped, but who knew. The invitations went to all the noble folk in Misthaven and surrounding kingdoms and the signature was empty, leaving more curious minds. There were many debates surrounding whether they should go or not, but the Royal Family of Misthaven had to attend to keep peace.

As she grew older the balls became a chance for her parents to find her a suitor to marry, she was now 21 and it was considered uncouth for the Crown Princess to be unmarried, even by Fae standards. So in an effort to avoid dancing with a Duke, she would practise her magic. Every Fae was gifted a power linked to the four elements, and Emma had inherited Earth from her mother. At times she thought it was a boring element to have, her younger brother Leo had water, which was useful for everyday life as well as pulling pranks (to which she was victim of lately). But as she got older she learnt to appreciate it, she enjoyed seeing what she could make grow, especially in situations like right now. 

There would always be potted plants, pretty flowers surrounding the tables, she breathed into her powers and with a single touch could double the petals or even change their colours. Sometimes she would paint the pink flowers blue, or the white ones black just to test what she could do. Of course, her mother didn’t approve of using it for this. She was also gifted with the power of earth, but she preferred to make things grow or inject life back into a sunken plant, rather than mess with existing life.

“Not enjoying the festivities I see?” A voice from behind Emma startles her, she didn’t recognise him, dark hair and piercing blue eyes. Dressed in an all black leather suit, not the typical style the men wore. His pointed ears stick out from his dark hair, Emma had always felt self conscious of her ears, so made an effort to hide them, but this man, whoever he was, was the most beautiful man she’d ever laid eyes on.

“I come for the faerie wine and food only I’m afraid.” She tells him with a playful smile.

“Well if you’re here for the wine why aren’t you dancing? Most people get drunk off a few sips then don’t leave the dance floor all night.”

She leans in close, “I’m not like most women.” What was the harm in flirting, he was gorgeous and her parents would never approve which made him all the more exciting.

He holds out his hand to her, “Dance with me, I insist.” 

Dancing with a handsome stranger was not how Emma expected the night to go, but he was a great partner, unlike some of the suitors her mother had forced upon her in the past. He led her around the room with grace and it was as though they flew through the dancefloor together, no stepping on toes and he even spun her around a couple times, feeling the wine go to her head a little more. “You’re really good at this.”

“There’s just one rule, pick a partner who knows what he’s doing.” He whispers into her ear as he dips her. “You’re very powerful, you know Emma.” He tells her as she comes up.

“How do you know my name?” Sure she was the Princess, and most people recognise her at these things, but it was strange the way he said it so casually.

“I know a lot of things Emma.” He whispers, his breath close to her neck, making Emma feel a sense of arousal. A moment later the mystery man turned into shadow and darkness, disappearing from her hold and reappearing out of shadows at the top of the staircase.

“Welcome to my lovely guests. I guess it’s time I introduce myself?”

All eyes were on the mystery man now, they all saw his shadow power. That wasn’t one of the four elements, this was some other worldly magic. Then, for Emma at least, it clicks. The charming lustful energy coming from him, his ability to know things he shouldn’t, and his shadow and darkness powers. He was the Dark One.

That should have made her terrified, but for some reason, it didn’t scare her. Who was he?

“My name is Killian Jones. But I believe your people have a few different names for me, Dark One, Wronged Fae, Prince of Darkness is a personal favourite-though I bore no royal blood or status.”

_____________

And that’s where it began, he said he held this ball because he was supposedly cursed and needed someone with light magic to resolve it. Not just any light magic though, a very specific kind. And of all the Fae in the land, he decided Emma, after one conversation and dance that she was the Fae he was looking for, only she could break the curse. 

“All I request are 3 moon cycles with her every year until I decide otherwise, or my curse is broken, whichever comes first.” This was his deal, his bargain. As the Dark One, you would be a fool to refuse or dispute a bargain. 

Her parents were outraged, and tried everything in their power to stop them. They were a royal family, if he were anyone else maybe that would have been enough, but as the Dark One, he bore no allegiance to royalty. So for 3 moon cycles, she was to live with him, in his castle, doing who knows what.

____

The first moon cycle was absurd, The Dark One didn’t mention a single thing about his supposed curse. He made her practise her magic every single day. Barely spoke to her. Her main source of contact was with one of the servants, Belle. She would show her to her room, which wasn’t a prison or a dungeon like she was expecting, but it had lush carpets. velvet curtains and the most gorgeous and comfortable king size bed in the centre of the room. She would also take her down to the grand dining room where she was to eat all meals. The food was exquisite, the spices used were unlike anything she’d eaten before, it made Misthavens cooks look like a child in the kitchen. 

There was no sign of him for the first couple of days, he left Belle with a page of  instructions for Emma to get on with while she was here. The only thing on the list:

Read: The Complete Earth Elemental Magic Volume I

Read about her magic. That was the only thing she would do all day. For the first two moon cycles this is all she does, she sees him in passing, at mealtimes mainly. He is pleasant and they make small talk. 

When she arrives home, her parents pounce on her, needing to know everything. What she witnessed, who she spoke to and if he hurt her in any way. They were terrified, and it made Emma realise she wasn’t afraid of him the way others were.

“We have suitors lined up.” Her mother would tell her, desperate to get her married off in the strange fear the Dark One would whisk Emma away to be his bride before she could marry a noble born. She would play along and speak to the princes and lords her parents picked out for her. She tried, really tried to find something good in any of them, but her mind would wander back to the blue eyes and dark haired villain she would be seeing again very soon.

The next moon cycle comes along and her task is to again, read the magic book which she was now on volume III of. Enough was enough, she needed to know her place and what exactly he intended to do with her.

“I have read these volumes cover to cover. If I have to learn about the different ways a flower can be grown I think I will die of boredom. You mentioned a curse that first night. Tell me everything and I can look in those stupid books for something that might actually help.”

He smiles at her as she rambles on about being a useful Fae and powerful if he lets her see. He admired her courage and her passion. “Very well Emma.” The way he says her name makes Emma feel something inside her that she’s not sure is good or bad.

“Contrary to popular belief about the Dark One, I did not choose this power willingly. It was forced upon me by a former Dark One. You see, only one can exist at a moment in time, and the only way to steal the power is to steal the life that holds such power.” He then goes on to explain how many years ago, his brother’s wife had fallen sick from her pregnancy and they were not sure if the baby would survive, the three of them searched for a cure around different lands, different royal families, they had to find something to save her but had no such luck. “One night, we had grown tired and stopped to find shelter for the night, when Elsa, my brother's wife began to bleed, she was losing the baby. Liam cried out and an old man came to our aid, asked if we would do anything to help to which I naively responded yes to. He kills them both using a type of magic I didn’t know existed.’ He can barely get through his story without stopping every few moments, and it's clear he still has a heart. “He then tells me if I take the dagger and stab him in the heart, they will be revived and the baby safe.”

“He forced you to kill him so he would be free of his curse, and in turn it then cursed you?”

“Aye love. That night has haunted me for nearly 200 years, I was desperate and if I could go back and change things I would. I’ve been trying to figure out a way to free myself that doesn’t involve trickery. I also do not wish to burden another innocent life with this curse.” He then takes Emma’s hand and looks into her eyes, “That is where you come in, Emma Darling.  I saw a seer and she shared with me a vision. A golden haired demi-fae with an earth element bearing an unyielding amount of light magic has the power to free me without hurting either party.”

“And of all the demi-fae with an earth element, you believe it's me because?”

“That’s why I held the ball. I wanted to see who I was drawn to, and as soon as I met you Emma, it was clear you were the one. You are special” The way he looked at her as she said this, made her feel warm inside. For a split second Emma also thought he was going to kiss her, and that if he did, she would let him.

That was the changing point. The more time they spent together going over her magic the more confident she felt. She learnt more things about her magic that she had known were possible. She could end life as quickly as she could revive it, well, the life of a flower anyway. She could drain the life from a lily and then when it was wilting, press life back into it. Emma guessed the more she practised this, maybe she would drain the darkness from Killian.

“Have you ever experimented with other elements, Emma Darling?” He asks one day, it was the last day of the moon cycle and she was to return home. She hadn’t realised how much she would miss his company.

“I was only gifted with the earth element, my mother shares it too. My brother inherited water from my father.” She explains, “I haven’t heard of any Fae who were gifted more than one element, wouldn’t that disrupt the power balance?” 

She would also miss the way he would sit there and smile at her when she rambled, he really wasn't as bad as people said he was. They didn’t know him the way she did. “Emma, you’re special. You hold the element of earth, well all elements are connected to the earth, are they not? Why don’t you try to conjure fire?”

All Fae were granted one element, fire, air, earth or water, it was unheard of for someone to hold a double or even triple elemental magic, every scripture and teacher would tell you too much power would disrupt the power balance of the universe, and everyone would suffer. But then again if she were truly the Fae in his prophecy, she was already disrupting the power of the universe.

“I wouldn’t know where to start, I don’t know anyone with that power and even if I did I-.” He was already moving towards her before she could finish her train of thought.

“All power lives inside you Emma.” He stands behind her and places his hand on her shoulders, moving down to her abdomen, “you can feel it inside you, reach deep inside and find that extra source of power.” Emma had to focus on keeping her breathing normal, he was touching her and she was feeling very strange things at the moment. Still, she does as he instructs, she feels where she knows her earth power lies, she taps into it daily. But then she tries to focus on where that power was, and if she could feel anything else. At first she could only feel her earth, but then she felt something different, she wasn’t sure what it was but it was similar to the way her earth felt. 

“That's it, love.” Killian says, hand still resting on her abdomen, “hone in on that. And think of something that makes you angry, feel the fire before you conjure it.”

Pushing the way his husky breath felt on her neck aside, she thought of her mother and how she orchestrated all these suitors that were supposedly so ‘perfect’ for her, how she never listened to what she wanted and how angry she felt when she would come home from her studies to see a Prince or a Duke in her sitting room.

“Open your eyes Emma.”

Fire. A small flame coming from her palm was the sight Emma was greeted with when she opened her eyes. It didn’t burn for very long once she realised what she had done and couldn’t figure out how to control it. But she did that.

“I conjured fire.” She says with a mix of shock and excitement plastering her face. 

“I told you you were powerful Emma.”

 He was still standing behind her, so she turns to see him grinning at her and his gaze fixed on her, in awe of her. They’re both silent for a moment, clearly having the same internal battle inside their head. Their heads moved closer and closer until their lips finally met and Emma felt her magic on fire. Every sense was heightened with this kiss, a merge of power and lust building up from their shared time together. Killian deepens the kiss as his hand settles on her cheek while Emma’s hands find his hair. She’s being pushed up against the wall after a while, and Emma leans her head back and moans as Killian pressees kisses onto her neck and then back to her lips. 

Their time together was never the same after that. Being apart from one another became harder. Every time Emma would practise her newfound powers, her thoughts would wander back to Killian and how he made her feel. 

When they were together, they were rarely apart. She possessed all four elements, and took the time to learn and explore what she could do with them. Of course she had to keep this quiet when she was away from Neverland and from Killian. Her family and her court would be wary of her newfound powers, likely brand her as dark as her ‘captor’ as they referred to Killian.

“I wish you would stop calling him that, he has a name.” She finally snaps back at her mother upon her return after listening to her rattling her newest ideas on how to get out of the contract. 

“He forces you to be away from your family for a whole moon cycle. He is darkening your mind with his power if you do not see what is wrong with that my sweet child.” 

That taught her to keep her mouth shut. They didn’t understand. Yes, as part of a bargain she was to spend time with him, but she looked forward to those moon cycles, he understood her, listened to her, she felt he was the only person she could be herself around. Worst of it was, she was falling in love with him. No, she was in love with him. And she had an inkling that he felt the same.

The next time she comes home, yet again there is a suitor sitting in her living room. She didn’t know who this one was and frankly, she didn’t care.

“Emma. I’m glad to see you’re home in one piece.” Her mother says, and Emma rolls her eyes, pretending she wasn’t practically seething that comment. She would never understand Killian or how she felt safe with him.

“Hello mother. Who is our guest?” She asks with a fake smile, knowing full well this was another suitor she was not interested in.

The suitor offers out his hand and bows, “Lord Walsh of Oz. it is a pleasure to finally meet you, your highness.” 

He was an older man, older than she was, which was not uncommon for suitors as they had to be to have a title. He was average height, nothing particularly interesting about him was jumping out at her. Her mother clearly chose this one from the same place as all the others, he was polite and overly grateful to the Queen for inviting him. They would all sip on their tea whilst Emma made polite conversation with them and they would express their interest for children and make an awful comment about being the more powerful Fae and Emma would thank them for their time as she busied herself with something else to get away. She wondered how long this one would take to get rid of. 

“Lord Walsh is to be your husband. We have been setting arrangements whilst you were being held hostage.” She rolls her eyes at the hostage comment and was about to argue, until it hits what she just said.

“I’m sorry, we’re to be married when?” This was a new low, even for her mother. “Mother, may I speak with you in private?”

“Excuse us.” Snow tells Walsh as she guides her daughter into the drawing room.

“I can’t believe this. I’m away for one moon cycle and you have me married off already? I keep telling you, I want to marry for love.” She didn’t know what to feel right now, angry yes, upset yes, and also confused, why now, when the topic of suitors had never felt imminent. 

“Emma, every day you spend with the Dark One is a day closer to us never seeing you again.” She tells her as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. 

“If this is still about him corrupting my mind, you have to know I’m still the same person as I was before the bargain.” As the Crown Princess, Emma didn’t have many choices in terms of clothing, free speech or political opinion, but she deserved the freedom to choose and to marry whoever she liked. 

Her mother touched her cheek, a way she did when Emma was younger. “Emma, the fact you don’t see it worries me. This is for the best. If we send a message you’re getting married, you can convince him to call off the bargain. This is a good thing Emma, things will go back to the way they were.”

She may have spent more moon cycles with the Dark One than planned, but she sure as hell was not dark herself, Killian couldn’t corrupt her when he was only trying to heal. She was different, she admits that, but it was a good different. She was powerful, confident in her abilities and her magic. Something that only came from being with Killian.

But she was the princess. Her parents, the King and Queen. She could fight with them about many things, but this was orchestrated by them. She could try to refuse this marriage, but she would need a valid reason, another prince or duke to replace Lord Walsh. It was a horrifying thought, but she didn’t have a choice. She was going to have to marry him.

What she wanted was to run away with Killian. She wanted to free him of his curse, help him heal. She did not want to be bound to him for a moon cycle at a time, she wished to spend as much time as she wished. But if she did that then her parents would come looking, they would send armies to search for her, it would cost the kingdom more money than they have. Running away would cause a civil war. 

All because she fell in love with the wrong Fae.

________________________________________

“I know you feel it too. Please Emma, don’t deny it.” He pleads, keeping the shadows clouding around them for a little while longer.

“I don’t deny it. I’m just in shock.” She admits. Having a mate in this world was rare, but those who were lucky enough to be granted one would be damned for all eternity if they chose to reject their mate. She had grown up with a legend of a male who loved another for years before meeting his mate, they chose to be apart and he died of heartache. She isn’t sure how much of that was true, but there was a reason they were chosen to be mates by the universe. She couldn’t marry Lord Walsh, no matter how hard her mother worked, marrying someone she had no love for knowing her mate, her true love was just out of reach would be too painful a life to lead. “Killlian, if we’re doing this, it has to be right, we have to follow the rules. If I run away now, it will only start a war.”

Killian nods in understanding, “We do this the right way. I claim you in front of everyone, and if you claim me back there is nothing they can do to stop.” He gives her a quick kiss before disbanding the shadows around them and hides from onlookers until it's time.

The crowd are unaware anything happened as she begins her descent down the flowery aisle. She spies her family in the crowd, her mother looking so happy, her brother next to her smiling brightly and her father trying not to cry as she takes his arm. He was meant to be giving her away to Walsh, but he was indirectly handing his daughter over to the Dark One. This was going to break their hearts, but she hoped they would see that Killian made her happy, the life she was choosing for herself was far better than the one her family were choosing for her. 

Walsh stands at the end of the aisle by the arch, his family were noble and would prosper from this union, more land and a grander estate. All of that was meaningless though, he didn’t love Emma either, it was his family pushing this marriage as much as it was her own. She was leaving a lot behind, her brother would become Crown Prince, and her mother would likely push a marriage for him too, likely to Princess Alexandra of the Western Kingdom to save the Kingdom from too much heartbreak of a runaway Princess. But it was worth it, the time spent with Killian made her feel alive for the first time in her life, she discovered things about her she didn’t know she could do.

“We are gathered today to witness the marital union between these two people. Lord Walsh of Oz, and Princess Emma of Misthaven.”

Emma spies Killians shadows from just beyond the arch, waiting for the right time.

“If there is any reason why these two should not be married, Speak Now or forever hold your peace.”

Silence from the crowd. Until shadows grow and at the other end of the aisle, Killian transfigures. “I object.”

The crowd begins to stir, chatter arises, some people even scream. “Under what grounds?”

“I have come to claim Emma. As my Mate.”

Shock horror from the crowd once again, she hears her parents cries and pleads not to go through with this, but she had no choice, this was for her own happiness, she was putting herself first for once.

“Do you claim me as I claim you?” He asks, knowing her answer.

“I claim you, Killian Jones, as my mate.”

Neither were sure exactly what would happen when they said those words, legend said mates had to claim one another in words, whether that be in public or in private. Considering mates were rare and neither had met or heard of anyone that had a mate, they were unaware if anything were meant to happen after they had claimed one another, whether it be lighting from the sky or if they would feel it in their hearts.

Neither were prepared for their right arms to suddenly have ink appear and spiral into a tattoo, matching with one another. Confirming their mateship and that they were now bound to one another, there was nothing anyone could do about it.

With a last look of pity and sorrow at her family, she runs into her new mates arms, and they disappear in a cloud of shadow.

 Emma was going home.

[lycomorpha]

This is an early grey moth ⏰🩶 from a previous trap.

The past few days I've got up to find zero moths in my actinic light trap that I use to catch, record, and release moths. Everyone is experiencing a slow start to the mothing season here this year, but still. 2 years ago even, this would have been unlikely. It's one thing to read about moth populations declining... It's heartbreaking to watch the crash from your own backyard. Last year's drought was devastating to local insects. I guess this is partly the knock-on from that.

It would be easy to get depressed and just stop looking at this point. But really this makes it even more important to do what we can to help, even if it feels small. Sydney Smith said "It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can only do little - do what you can."

What I can do is to grow key moth food plants in my garden and some long grasses. I can keep talking to my local council about no-mow areas and tree protection. & I made a Moth Promotional Board zine for the art fair I'm at in 2 weeks.

Do what you can. Suggestions for how to help here and here. Thank you from the Moth Promotional Board 🦋💖📋

[roselensedeyes]

my house of stone, your ivy grows

Hello everyone!

I thought I'd share with you some of my writings, but also as an archive in case ao3 stops working like a couple of weeks ago! You can read it on ao3 here.

This is the first elriel fanfiction I've ever written, criticism is welcomed but please be kind! You can read it under the cut. Enjoy!

Elain Archeron was listening passively to the discussion between her brother-in-law, and the Nigh Court High Lord, Rhysand, and their unexpected visitor.

Well, not entirely unexpected, she had seen her coming a few weeks prior. Perhaps strange was a better word to describe her. The girl, whose name was Bryce Quinlan, had landed a couple of weeks ago on her younger sister’s, Feyre, front lawn, fallen through a portal meant to take her to Hel. Instead, it’d brought her to Prythian.

Elain had seen it a few hours before, while she was baking bread in the Town House she had recently moved into. After the birth of her nephew, Nyx, she’d decided she needed to let them have their own personal space, allow them to grow their bond with their son.

Said nephew was now sitting on her knees, bouncing while looking around with wide, curious eyes. His small fist was in his mouth, and Elain gently took it away. His first teeth would come in soon, Madja had said, which meant he might feel the urge to chew on everything he’d come across. Elain tried to focus back on the conversation taking place before her. In the past days, the Inner Circle and Bryce had tried to put together the pieces of knowledge they possessed, to understand their worlds’ histories and lore. Of what the Asteri—the Daglan, as they were known in Prythian—had been doing throughout the millennia. Of the worlds they had conquered and destroyed, of those people they had used until they had exhausted their purpose. Of what they were planning on doing to Elain’s world again, this time leaving no chances of losing. Of what they were already doing to Bryce’s world, Midgard, and the torture they were putting her mate and brother and loved ones through. Elain suppressed the shudder that threatened to overtake her as she thought of the agony in Bryce’s voice when she explained what the Asteri were most likely doing to her brother and mate in their dungeon, of those flashes she had seen in her vision.

She had never mastered her seer powers, not yet at least.

At first, they reminded her of what was done to her, of those months of suffering and heartache following that fateful day when she was turned into Fae. And that day when her fiancé, the man she thought was her soulmate and who she was going to spend the rest of her life with. But the life she knew had ended the night she and her older sister Nesta were kidnapped, no matter how hard she fought against it. In those months in which she would not, could not leave her room, she pretended all was well, as it was supposed to be. But one look in the mirror, a those pointed ears that replaced her rounded ones, shattered those pretenses. And then the visions came, and that was when she knew nothing would ever be the same again, that she would never go back to being the same person she’d been for her entire life.

So with the help of her family and her two friends, Nuala and Cerridwen, she had tried to find some normalcy in her new life. She’d learned how to grow vegetables and fruit, now that the soil allowed the seeds to grow, she had the shadow twins teach her how to bake and cook, and she’d even found a job to pay back her sister and her husband for all that they had done for her over the years. Helping the elderly by tending their gardens filled her with such sense of fulfillment that she had never thought possible.

Yet, Elain had never tapped into her powers again. At times, images would pop into her mind, but she’d always ignored them, pushing them to the back of her mind. Those visions would bring forward too many things she’d rather not face. Elain knew it also pained her sister Nesta, not being able to help her. That those flashes she’d see would also be a reminder to her of her failure in not protecting her, even though Elain also knew there was nothing Nesta could have done to prevent the attack. To avoid what had happened to them both. They had been betrayed, by Feyre’s captor and his friend, Lucien. Who happened to be Elain’s mate too. Another thing she would rather not face yet.

So Elain had avoided her powers, of the truth they would whisper to her.

Yet when she was baking bread for her family weeks ago and the vision hit her, there was nothing she could have done to block out the images, the sounds of despair and agony that filled her ears. She had heard a woman—a female— with red hair sob as she hugged a male who murmured words of comfort to her, telling her he was going to find her, as another male, who looked eerily similar to Rhysand slipped something in her pockets. And then she saw that same female jump through a portal and land on a front lawn Elain knew well. Her breath had been knocked out of her lungs and she knew that what she had seen was too important to ignore.

Now, Bryce and Rhysand were discussing how to contact the former’s friends in Midgard. Bryce insisted that the information they came about was of great value, that her friends needed to be aware of it to be better prepared while she was stuck in this world. That she needed to tell them, to help them however she could.

Rhysand, on his part, argued that it was too risky to establish contact with the world where the parasites that were trying to conquer and enslave them again resided. That they needed more time to collect insights on how to defeat them before risking opening the gates between their worlds. Elain could understand both points of view.

“I’m telling you, I know a way to communicate with them that does not require opening the gates,” Bryce said in frustration.

The sole fact that Elain could now understand her was a feat on its own. Rhysand and Amren, his second-in-command, had conjured a sort of translation machine, allowing them to talk freely. Bryce used some terms they all didn’t understand, like gun or motorcycle, but they could still communicate and understand the other with little to no issue.

“If only I had brought the bloodsalt with me,” Bryce muttered under her breath. Rhysand stilled and exchanged a look with Amren.

“Bloodsalt?” He asked quietly, too quietly.

The female’s head whipped up. “You know what it is?” Her voice sounded so hopeful.

Elain’s heart squeezed a bit. For her sake, she sent a prayer to the Mother that it meant something positive.

“I’m not sure. The word does remind me of...” Rhys stopped talking, as if he was unsure on what to reveal to that strange, modern female standing before him. Although she had proved to not be deceiving them, it was still hard for them to trust her entirely. Especially for Rhysand, who had a mate, a son, and a Court to think about. “I don’t think it was ever used how you mean it.”

Bryce seemed to deflate a bit at that, but still took a deep breath before explaining how it was used on her planet.

“In Midgard there are… individuals who have been granted a great, yet terrible power. They’re called mystics, and they always work in a set of three. One female, one male, and one who is both. They can see the present—and other worlds.” She swallowed, as if talking about these creatures brought her great pain. “They’re usually born to poor families, and their parents sell them to another person, the Astronomer, he calls himself, and their lives are forfeited for the use of their abilities.” She shook her head, and Elain could feel the shift in the room, the horror everyone must be feeling. “They can travel to other worlds, understand and speak other languages. Thanks to a mind-reading machine, what they witness, what they say with other… people is transcribed and then analyzed by the Astronomer. Bloodsalt helps pinpoint their search.”

Silence had descended on the room. Elain’s blood had turned into ice in her veins. She shifted her focus on the babbling baby sitting on her knees, swiping a hand through his soft hair and pressing a kiss to his temple. She refused to look at anyone else.

“I believe in our world it’s called bloodbane. But nothing of the sorts has ever been attempted, not like how you described it. How does bloodsalt exactly help them?” Rhysand inquired.

Bryce shook her head once more. “I don’t know the logistics of it, not in detail, but what I do know is that the mystics live in a bathtub, filled with water and white salt. I once saw the Astronomer add the bloodsalt and they reached the intended location within seconds.”

Elain had to suppress another shudder.

She felt Rhysand’s gaze on her, and she knew before he even opened his mouth what he was going to say. “Are you sure this won’t open a gate into your world?”

Bryce nodded. “I’m positive. The mystics have been traveling through worlds without opening any gates for centuries.”

“And you’re sure this won’t help the Asteri gain entrance in Prythian.” Rhysand asked as a matter of fact, as though he already know the answer.

“I don’t see why it would.” Bryce replied honestly.

Elain took a deep breath. Rhysand’s next words sounded loud and clear, “Then I think we should attempt it.”

Elain’s gaze landed on her brother-in-law, though she did a quick sweep of the room. She set her shoulders and began to nod when two voices interrupted her. “Absolutely not!” one barked, while the other growled a simple “No.”

She knew who those voices belonged to. Her older sister Nesta, and Azriel, Rhysand’s brother and the male who had rejected her months ago. She ignored both of them, instead kept her eyes on her brother-in-law, who had always encouraged her in her acceptance of her new life and body. She knew he’d come to love her as a sister, which she supposed she was for him. Growing up, Elain had never felt as though she had someone in her corner, silently cheering for her. Yes, Feyre had provided food and shelter for her, and Nesta would fight to the death for her safety, and for that she would always be grateful to her sisters. Yet she had never felt she could be her true self, only the version that would be most convenient to her family. To not be in their way, while they were starving and cold and mocked by people they thought friends. So she’d learned to be what they wanted, needed her to be, and stuck with it until everything she had come to know had changed so radically that she was forced to become another version. This time, she’d chosen something was similar to her true self. She wondered if the day ever came where she was allowed to be completely who she wanted to be, disregarding others’ expectations of her.

“I will do it.” She had never sounded so clear. She was certain of the decision she’d made.

Shadows flickered to the corner on her left, where that deep voice came from. Where Azriel stood. She looked his way, and when she found his stare already on herself, she glanced away. She didn’t have the time for this, not now.

As if he could sense his aunt had agreed to something reckless, Nyx turned around in her laps and grabbed her cheeks, before bursting into tears. Elain hugged him to her, murmuring words of comfort and laying her cheek on his head. She rubbed his tiny back, mindful of his even tinier wings, but his cries turned into sobs. She looked towards Feyre, who got up from the other end of the sofa and took him, soothing her son. Feyre was a great mother, watching her with Nyx always sent a pang through her chest. It reminded her too much of her father, who had always doted on her.

“Are you sure?” Feyre asked her.

Elain looked her in the eyes and nodded, willing the anxiety away. Feyre seemed to asses her, and when she deemed her to be truthful she nodded and turned toward Nesta.

“It’s her choice,” was all she said.

Nesta snarled. “I will not stand by while she’s throwing herself into harm’s way”.

“We cannot forbid her from doing the things she wants to do. She’s her own person. She can make her own choices.” Feyre replied calmly.

“I’m here, you know.” Elain said quietly. Apparently not as quiet as she thought, as several heads turned her way. Elain hunched her shoulders.

“Is anyone going to explain to me what the Hel is going on?” Bryce asked.

“I’m a seer. I can see future events— but I can also see the present.”

Bryce looked stunned, rightly so. They’d agreed not to tell her that she had seen her coming, not until they knew for certain that she was not a threat.

“We’ll work on finding a transcriber, or conjuring one, and then we’ll get you started on it.” Amren nodded to her. Then, she turned to Azriel. “Boy, you will need to retrieve the bloodbane. You know where to find it.”

Azriel’s face was dark, almost hidden in the shadows that swarmed him. It was clear as day he was not happy with this decision. Elain couldn’t phantom why. He had no right to act as though her safety mattered so dearly to him, when he had no qualms with breaking her heart months ago.

So she turned her gaze away from him and got up. She inclined her head toward the High Lord of the Night Court and his second-in-command. “You know where to find me when the time is right.” With that, she breezed past them, plopping a kiss on Nyx’ soft hair, ignoring Nesta’s sounds of protest and the lone shadow following her.

-

It took them a week to figure out how to create a transcriber without all the technology available in Midgard. Elain could still remember everyone’s reaction to the device Bryce had brought with herself, which she called smartphone. The males had drawn out their weapons, but the redhead had only rolled her eyes and showed them what it could do. It stored pictures, but it could also make calls and write to the digits stored in the phone, which belonged to friends and family members and anyone who you shared your own number with.

Her mind couldn’t wrap around it. Elain had always thought Velaris was the most magical, advanced place she’d ever been in, yet the single proof Bryce had brought with her made her wonder if such progress could be had in her world too.

Elain was sitting in the garden of the Town House, basking in the sun after a long day of tending to the flowers and vegetables. She felt something poke her shoulder, and she cracked an eye open to see a shadow in the process of curling itself around her arm. She smiled slightly, before raising her head and searching for its owner, for if the shadow was here, it meant Azriel had to be near.

Sure enough, he was leaning against the backdoor, silently watching her. She felt her cheeks grow warm and hated herself for it, for showing him that her feelings had not changed since that fateful Solstice night. She had no doubts he could hear her heartbeat picking up, or smell her nervousness.

He moved to her, his steps silent.

She swallowed, hard, but remained seated. Until he was standing directly in front of her and she had to crane her neck to look him in the face.

She made to stand, but he gripped her hand with the preternaturally speed of Faes and helped her up. Elain knew her blush had deepened. The last time they had touched they had almost kissed.

She forced the painful reminder away, and looked him in the eyes.

“Rhys has sent me to summon you. They’re ready,” Azriel’s voice was tight, telling her he had still not come around to this plan.

Her heart started beating faster for another reason this time, anxiety pouring over her like ice. She had volunteered for this, but she wasn’t foolish enough to pretend she wasn’t about to do the most dangerous thing she’d ever done in her life.

“I see,” she said, lamely. She shook her head and took a deep breath, and nodded. “Alright, I’m ready. Take me to him.”

Azriel scanned her face, searching for anything that told him she was rethinking the whole thing. But he wasn’t going to. Despite her unease, she was going through with it. The disappointed look on his face told her he’d read that on her face, too.

She had avoided her powers for so long, but she no longer could. It was now a matter of life or death, quite literally. Bryce’s friends needed to know what threat they were facing, but they needed to be told so they could help Elain’s family and world too. So many things had changed in her life so quickly, she was not ready for yet another change. She would not allow it. With that newfound conviction, she draped her arms around Azriel’s neck. He stilled, his shadows peeking from his shoulders. She smiled at them, right as Azriel scooped her up and began their flight to the House of Wind, where the Inner Circle and Bryce were waiting for them.

They arrived shortly after, and Elain’s breath caught as her eyes took in the large bathtub standing in front of her.

She had not taken that into account. How she would feel to submerge herself under the water, so similar to how she had been forced under it to turn her into Fae. Her baths since that day had been fast, and she had never gone underwater with her head.

Azriel stiffened at her side, his hand inching toward hers. As if he might offer her that kind of comfort. She almost caved in, but Amren’s curt voice made her forget about all that. “Come here, girl. Bryce will explain to you what will happen.”

Elain nodded, but her gaze remained fixed on that bathtub.

She took a step forward.

She almost turned around and fled.

No, she refused to let that fear win.

Her mind threatened to replay her those moments in which she was forever changed, but she forced them away.

She took a deep breath, and another, and another.

She could feel everyone’s eyes on her, but she ignored them and forced a foot in front of the other, then did the same again.

And again, and again, and again.

Until she had covered the distance to the bathtub.

Her head was roaring with panic, her hands shaking and clammy.

“I don’t know how well this will work. As I said, there’s usually a set of three. You’re only one,” Bryce cautioned. “You will need to wear this mask,” Bryce said, handing her a carefully crafted mask. “And go all the way under the water. I will add the bloodsalt— or bloodbane, however you want to call it. It should take you to my world.” Bryce said, her voice breaking.

“If we see you’re struggling or not being able to reach them, we’ll get you out,” Azriel said, his voice too soft. From the look on Rhys’ face, Elain knew it wasn’t part of the plan. Still, her traitorous heart squeezed at his words. She put on the mask, it not being too constrictive.

Elain looked at her family, their anxious but supportive gazes telling her she was making the right decision, and finally glanced at Azriel. He had a dark look on his face, his jaw clenched tight, but when their eyes made contact it softened. The corners of his mouth tipped up, his smile tight, yet the pressure on her chest lessened, as though a weight had been lifted from it.

She went into the bathtub still looking at him.

-

At first, she couldn’t see anything.

She could hear the sound of the water, yet everything was as black as the bottom of the bathtub. She tried to relax her muscles, to trick her mind into thinking nothing was amiss. If Nesta had battled her fears, then so could she.

Slowly, Elain started seeing things better.

She was floating in a starry sky. So many stars and so many… worlds. She was seeing worlds!

Excitement threatened to burst over, but she did her best to contain it.

A strange sensation spilled over her skin, and she realized they must have put the bloodbane in the water.

Suddenly, she was being propelled forward, spinning so fast she became dizzy. She struggled against this invisible force, but just as it had begun, it stopped. She took a few moments to make sure the contents of her stomach wouldn’t spill over, and then opened her eyes that she did not remember closing.

Dark eyes were staring right into hers.

Elain suppressed a scream, her heart beating loudly.

She saw that those eyes belonged on gaunt, pale skin, framed by chestnut-brown hair. A female.

“Who-Who are you?” Elain asked, stumbling over her words.

“I’m a mystic,” the female simply said. Elain could have cried from joy. She could understand her, and the mystic could understand her.

Elain tried again. “What’s your name?”

The female blinked. “Who asks?”

Elain tried to assess the risks of revealing her name. But before she could come to a decision, the mystic spoke again. “You’ve never done this before, have you?”

Her voice didn’t sound mocking, only curious. Still, Elain blushed deeply. “I haven’t, no. I didn’t know I could do this. I’m only a seer, where I come from.”

When the mystic didn’t say anything, Elain said, “I need to send a warning to someone. To a certain Ithan Holstrom.” That was the name Bryce had given her.

The female seemed to freeze. Elain gasped. “You know him.”

The mystic assessed her, and then gave a tiny nod Elain might have missed if she hadn’t been looking for it.

“Tell him his friend, Bryce, has landed in the world I come from— we call it Prythian, but in your world it might have a different name.” She relayed all the necessary information in a succinct way, the female paling even more with each word she pronounced.

“Tell Bryce that he’s listening right now, that we’ll try whatever we can to help her from here.”

“Elain nodded. “I will.” She promised.

“Well, I better—” The mystic’s voice suddenly cut off, and her eyes started rolling in the back of her head, her body thrashing. Elain screamed then. Then a cruel, cold face came between them, a sinister smile painting it.

Elain’s breath was stolen from her lungs.

She needed to go back, back back.

She made to float away, but a freezing hand grabbed her wrist. It was squeezing her to the point of pain, and she tried to shake it off but his grip would not budge. Her thrashing became frantic, desperate to get away from this—this—

“Tell Bryce Quinlan that we’re coming for her. And that there’s nothing she can do to stop us,” said the deceivingly soft voice.

It was an Asteri. A Daglan.

Agitation overtook her and tried to break free from the grip of this parasite, but instead it squeezed harder, making it impossible for her to break free from it.

She started sobbing, and she tried to scream, but she couldn’t.

No matter how hard she tried, her lungs would not suck in any air.

She needed to get out, out, out of here—

She couldn’t breathe anymore, and black spots appeared in her line of vision.

She was crying as she started losing consciousness.

-

Elain opened her eyes again as she was being lifted by strong arms.

Blinding light made them close again.

She could hear raised voices, though she couldn’t make out what they were saying.

She took in a big gasp of air, savoring every moment of it.

Her wet clothes clung to her, her hair matted against the sides of her face. Someone was passing a hand through it, freeing her face. The feel of the air against her skin was the most beautiful feeling she’d ever had.

Soft lips pressed to her temple, leaving kisses and soothing words against it.

She took another steadying breath and opened her eyes again.

This time, the light wasn’t nearly as painful, and she managed to keep them open.

The first thing she saw was Cassian, her sister Nesta’s mate. She had on a worried face, and let out a small sigh of relief at seeing her sister breathe and alert. Her reaction seemed to lessen her other sister’s, Feyre, panic too, whose shoulders slumped as she leaned against her mate, Rhysand.

She couldn’t see Amren or Bryce, but she knew for certain the male holding her was Azriel.

“I’m fine,” she let out, her voice breathy, yet Azriel didn’t let her go.

No, he held her tighter to him.

He murmured something again, and this time she could make out “you’re alright you’re alright you’re alright” as though the words were a prayer.

She laid a hand on his big arm, and he laid his head on hers.

Her heart gave a squeeze.

Elain realized then that he needed to know she was okay. That nothing had befallen her.

So she caressed his arm, and nuzzled his cheek.

He gave a sigh of contentment.

She smiled.

“I’m fine, Azriel.” She said again, and this time he seemed to hear her. Still, he didn’t move.

She tried to shift, to catch his eyes, but he wouldn’t let her move, his hands gripping her waist as though she might disappear if he let go of her.

So she repeated, again and again, those three words, until at last he seemed to come back to the present and she was able to turn in his arms.

Elain pressed a kiss to his left cheek, then another on the other, and then met his eyes. And held onto them to convey that she was thoroughly alright.

He nodded, and shifted his gaze on Rhysand.

But it wasn’t the latter who spoke.

“Holy shit, you’re mates,” was all Bryce said.

Elain’s eyes widened as they landed on the redhead, but something in her chest shifted, a sense of rightness settling over her for the first time, and she could swear she heard a voice sing in her ear, finally, things are right.

Nothing had ever made more sense to her than those words.

With a smile, Elain leaned back against the chest of her mate.

[ohdudedhesflirting]

I love you so I let you go

Pairing: Seok matthew x gender neutral reader

Warnings: Y/N is insecure (extremely), insults

Notes : I havent written anything in over a year due to various reasons so its messy lol and globally bad. Its just to get me back on writing and get rid of my writing trauma lmfao. English is my second language. (Also darling seok02 I am not tagging you bc you deserve better this, I will do better I promise <3)

Genre: University au, Matthew fell first, friends to sweethearts, angst, break-up.

Synopsis: Y/n and Matthew are in a relationship but sometimes insecurity get the best of you..

.....Under the cut ...!

Many people had different names to qualify you. Dumb, weak, unworthy, ugly..

You were used to it by now. You knew that the words you were over-hearing on a daily basis were not real.

The insults had started when your relationship to your boyfriend, Matthew, became public.

Matthew and you were the same age, coming from the same city, friends since school and finally at university as well. You werent majoring in the same discipline but it didnt matter, Matthew always made time for you, his favorite friend to hang out, eat together. He always made sure you were never eating alone.

Something had shifted in your relationship a year ago, when you went back home and realised that Matthew wasn't only glued at your hip at university.

You were quite the insecure person and even if you had known Matthew your whole life there was this little part of you that always thought that if he was hanging out with you daily was because he had taken you on pity.

How could he not ?

You had grown up together. You played as childrens, had braces together, learned together how to tie your shoelaces. Of course he would feel pity for you. And stay by your side at univerisity were you knew no one and had not made any friends.

Matthew on his side, social butterfly he was, had quickly made friends, Kim Jiwoong an acting major a few years older, Kim Tae Rae and Zhang Hao from the composing major...

You never understood why Matthew always took them with him to have lunch with you, or simply ditching them to not leave you alone. But it was fine, you thought "well he pity me, what can I do" and thought it would stop once you went home.

But it didnt, he was even clingier then when you left your respective parent's houses at the beginning of the school year.

He was swinging by your home almost daily, taking your dog on walks with you, doing gardening with your father.

Thats when you started to question it. Why was he nice to you ? Yes you grow up together, yes he must have felt some kind of responsabilities when you were at the university but here ? In the city of your childhood..? With no one but people you knew you whole life ? Why was he staying by your side ?

Naturally you asked him, and he confessed, hands shaking and tears in his eyes. You were left with only confusion.

Matthew was the sweetest person that you could ever think of, why would he likes you?

Pleading with you he had convinced you to put him over a trial, "try being my partner for two weeks, give me two weeks, and if afterwards you are not interested, we will stay as friends"

Of course, you didn't need those two weeks to know that Matthew was the best person ever, and well, that you liked him.

Coming to your place to watch movies together, accompanying you when you had to do grocery shopping for your parents. Going on drive to see the sea together, laying on the grass together to observe the clouds and give them shapes (and mainly fighting over said shapes)

The two weeks had passed and you stayed together.

Your summer break was the best part of your life, you had enjoyed every single second of it. Enjoying each other presence. Both of your famillies were most than pleased at the way your relationship had developped.

You never told Matthew you loved him, he was always the one to do so. There was always this little voice in your head to tell you that you were not good enough for him, pretty enough, clever enough. But it was fine you managed to deal with it.

But you got back to your university, and one of his classmate found out about you two dating and quickly, like fire, the news spread out on campus. Matthew was popular, with girls, with boys. And quickly you became "Matthew's partner".

People were coming to you, asking you if you were Matthew's signifiant other, laughing in your face, belittling you, saying your relationship would never make it through, that you werent enough for him. That he pitied you.

Until one day you could not stand it anymore. You were at Matthew's place, the appartement he shared with his friends, laying together on the couch. Matthew was watching his favorite anime, completely immersed in it.

But you, their words kept coming back, again and again.

Turning your face from the tv screen to your boyfriend, you admired his feature, chocolate like hair, a big smile, sparkling eyes. He was the prettiest, kindest person you had ever met. And you loved him so much.

"Wake up Y/N, Matthew is just doing charity work you know ? One day he is gonna ditch you and then what ? You are nothing"

You felt your stomach hurts, and once again since a few weeks you ran to the bathroom, the sudden urge to vomit. Matthew stoped the movie and urged to the bathroom, putting his hand on your back, rubbing it slowly, comforting you.

Once you were done, he slowly picked you up, and laid you down on the couch. Picking up a glass of water he was getting back to your side.

"Are you alright love ?"

You stayed silent for a few seconds, looking at his face. He was worried, it wasn't the first time you were vomitting in a short time.

"I want to break up."

Matthew went further on his place and looked at you without understanding what was happening.

"What do you mean ?"

"You and I. Breaking up. I can't do it anymore. I just can't."

He was looking at you without words, the last events of the last months going back in his head. What was happening ? Why did you wanted to break up ? Since when were you feeling like this ?

"Why..? We are doing just fine..? Why do you wanna..?"

It was your turn to be without words, you had never told Matthew about what people were saying to you. Always enduring by yourself.

There was this little voice, greedy voice, that always told you that if you were to speak up about it he would just break up with you more quickly. You were just greedy, you wanted to keep him by your side just a little bit longer.

Unable to speak any words, you stand up, packing your stuff in your bag, tying your shoelaces, Matthew follows you, wordless.

"I love you, please, don't let go of me"

You looked at Matthew one last time, his tears were starting to fall on his cheeks, you took your jacket and went out.

Closing the door behind you, you feel your breath hurting your chest, you go down the stairs, and finally you make it at the bottom of the building.

Walking across your campus, head hidden in your hoodie, you make it to your dorm. Closing your door behind you. And finally letting yourself go.

You allow yourself to cry, in a place safe, where no one can see you or hear you.

Matthew last look kept coming back inside your head, and you couldn't get it out.

It was breaking your whole heart out but there was this part of yourself that kept thinking that he was just better off without you. You were stopping him from his real life, keeping him behind everything.

Seok Matthew deserved better than you. You loved him so you had to let him go.

Part 2.

[hatbox-apologist]

The Ghost In My Heart

Pt.3

Warnings: romance, grief, drug induced sleepy time, self-deprecation, mention of murder, a bit of betrayal, and a few time skips

Preface: I really enjoyed writing this one. I think it's much more complex than the other parts, with a lot more happening all in one part. I don't have much more to say other than I really do hope you enjoy it. :)

It had been 6 months since Madame Leota moved into the mansion and held a seance every night. And every night, with every seance, the ghosts chose you to be their mouth piece. You were exhausted after being used night after night, feeling so much death, but as long as you felt you were helping, you were happy to be there. There was one particularly rough seance with the ghost of a black widow bride making you see and feel like your head was being cut off, Madame Leota had to intervene. She couldn’t get rid of the ghost but made them fairly docile with some sage. “I’m going to have some tea before I turn in to calm my nerves, would either of you like to join me?” Madame Leota asked, picking up her cane. “Tea sounds lovely.” William said standing. You said nothing, just looked at the corner of the room where only you saw the captain. He stared at you with his arms folded and his head turned up at you. “Are you alright?” William put his hand on your shoulder. You shake your head out of it, “Yes, fine.” you say shortly. “Will you be joining us for tea?” he asks again. “Not tonight, thank you.” you say. “Well alright, we’ll be in the living room if you need us.” Madame Leota said and they both walked out, William shutting the door behind him.

You get up abruptly and turn to the journal and thrust it open to a new page. “Why are you haunting me captain?!” you say angrily into the corner where he stood a moment ago. But the pen doesn’t move. Then suddenly the sound of the ship’s bell rings out and you cover your ears to try to block it out but it doesn’t work, it only grows louder. “You know why I’m here!” a gruff voice shouts at you and wind suddenly starts blowing in the room almost knocking you down. “Stop it. Stop it.” You grunt back at it, screwing your eyes shut. “You suffer!” the voice retorts and rain starts pouring down on you. “I can’t tell him, you know I can’t” You shout into the storm. The bell rings so loud in your head it vibrates your skull and you drop to your knees on the floor, which is now ankle deep in sea water. “It will break his trust in me if I bow out! I must hold on and stay by his side!” you yell in desperation but the torrent only grows stronger. “Even at your own expense?!” the voice roars like thunder at you. “At any cost! I cannot waiver! Or this is all for not!” you practically scream. “Then you are lost!” the captain’s voice blares. “I may be! But at least I am lost with him!” you yell but the deluge holds strong around you. “I know I have lost my way but I don’t have any other path but this one now! I’ve made my fate and I will live or die with the consequences!” You sob. And finally the storm calms to nothing but the water pooled around you. “You will not change. I will not leave.” The captain says and everything around you dries and watery foot prints stomp out of the seance room.

3 months pass after that, but everything remains the same. So many seances and equally as many ghosts, they get blurred together in your memory. Names get to be a bit fuzzy at times, especially after rough seances that wear down your mind. William however seems less optimistic as he was in the beginning. It’s almost coming up on a year now and still, Eleanor has not shown up. “May I confide in you something?” William asks you one morning while having morning tea in the garden. Madame Leota was inside talking with the spirits. “Of course you can. What is it?” you say, only a little bit concerned. “It’s been 9 months we’ve been trying to contact her. And I grow more and more worried. What if she doesn’t want to make contact with us? With me? Or what if she’s not here? What if she’s-” William says with each question he becomes more frantic, so you put your hand on his arm to calm and quiet him. “We will reach Eleanor, William. I promise you, on my life, I will help you find her.” You say with utter devotion. “You are such a good friend to me, y/n. I don’t know what I ever did to deserve such a companion.” he smiles brightly at you and it warms your heart. “You needn’t do anything.” you say bumping his shoulder with yours and you both giggle and continue enjoying the pleasant morning.

Finally the day had come, the first year anniversary of it all. The day goes on as usual and then the night begins in the seance room. “Serpents and spiders, tail of a rat; call in the spirits, wherever they’re at.” Madame Leota says and the seance begins. the crystal ball glows and levitates. You feel like someone or something is trying to say something to you but it all just comes out in jumbled hushed whispers. “Anything yet?” William asks. “Not really. It sounds like they’re trying but can’t quite find the words?” You say tilting your head. “Hmm. Wizards and witches, wherever you dwell, give us a hint, by ringing a bell!” Madame Leota gestures to a brass bell on the table, but again nothing happens. “Wrap on a table, it's time to respond! Send us a message from somewhere beyond!” shouted Madame Leota, slamming her hand down on the table. And finally you saw him. Only his head showed through the crystal ball. His face burned into your memory. His wicked grin and his crazed eyes. His eyes darted over to you and noticed the terrified look on your face. “You.” he says and tilts his head down at you. Suddenly you felt his soul, his aura, his overpowering madness and insatiable bloodlust overwhelmed you. Your face went pale as a sheet. “Y/n? What is it? What’s happening.” William asked concerned. You were scared speechless, it felt like all the air had been taken out of the room and you couldn’t breathe. The head laughed maniacally and you saw all his murders flash by your eyes in an instant, and you saw them as if looking through his eyes. Then his head vanished from the ball and you frantically looked around the room. You peek behind your chair to find him standing there, hunched over with a cane in one hand and a glowing hatbox in the other. His head, now inside the hatbox, illuminates the corner of the room. “Boo!” he says and chuckles at you when you jump. “No no no! Shut it down! Shut it down!” You practically scream to Madame Leota. While keeping eye contact with the hatbox ghost. He takes a menacing step towards you, scraping his other foot across the floor. “You can’t banish me, foolish mortal.” he cackles out. Madame Leota lights the sage and waves it around the space to get him to leave but he stands unwavering. “Aww, that won’t hurt me. You know better than that.” he scoffs and continues towards you. William grabs the bell and starts ringing in the direction where you’re looking. “Ugh! Such noise!” The ghost says and dematerializes. You turn around to see if the crystal ball had stopped glowing and it did. So you slump back down in your chair knowing the portal had closed.

Your heart racing in your chest, you pant, gripping the arms of the chair to stop yourself from quaking. “Is everyone alright?” you pant out. “Yes.” Madame Leota says calming down. “Yes, but are you alright?” William says concerned. “For now. Though, we need to banish that ghost back to the region beyond. I don’t know who or what that ghost is, but he'a evil and maddening.” You say darkly. His face flashes in your memory, it’s all you see behind your eyelids when you so much as blink, it sends a shiver down your spine. “I’ll see what I can do to find a banishment.” Madame Leota says opening her book, William still looks concerned at you but says nothing. “I’m going to go for a brandy.” You say trying desperately to stand while your legs quake against your will. William gets up and helps you stand. “I’ll come with you.” He says, holding your arm. “Oh, no, it’s alright.” You say trying to wave him off as you walk slowly out of his hold. William gives you those sad kicked puppy eyes. “Listen, I'm alright, really.” You say and hobble up the stairs to the living room.

You call a servant for a cherry brandy and sit down on a sofa. You sigh and put your elbows on your knees to cradle your head. You close your eyes only for a moment and see his face again. “Your brandy?” a servant says, making your heart leap out of your chest and you fall back onto the sofa. “I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to frighten you.” the servant says. “No, no, it's alright.” you say taking the brandy and down half of it. “Rough night?” the servant says observing you. “Extremely.” you say running your hand down your face. “Penny for your thoughts?” the servant asks, looking down at your trembling figure. “Not a chance. Not tonight.” you say downing the rest of the brandy. “Oh, not even the slightest detail?” the servant says, but the voice isn’t the one you heard before, it was his. Your eyes go wide and you look up at the servant, their nose is bleeding and their eyes have dark circles under them. “You fiend!” you shoot up and grab the servant by the collar. “I-I’m sorry! I-I didn’t mean to-” the servant pleads. You drag the servant by the collar to the seance room. “Y/n?! What in the world are you doing?!” William says, and Madame Leota looks up from her book and gasps. “He’s using this servant as a puppet!” You say to them confidently. William and Madame Leota look at you puzzled. “Look he has blood-” and as you look over, the servant looks right as rain, just as they appeared before. Your face falls. “But he was just- Their nose was bleeding, and their eyes-” you say, studying the servant's face. “Dear… maybe you should get some rest.” Madame Leota suggests gently as to not stir you. “No please, you must believe me.” You plead, looking back at them. “William?” You look at William. He opens his mouth then closes it and takes a moment to think and dismay dawns on his face. “No, no please, William.” You say. “Maybe you do need some rest. After the events of the night.” He looks up at you while hanging his head. You look back at the servant who is still fearfully looking at you. You retract your hand from their collar and it trembles terribly as you do so, so you cover it with your other hand to stop it from shaking so much. You look skittishly back at them now questioning your own sanity in the matter. William tries to say something and reach out to you, but you run out of the seance room to your guest bedroom.

You run in and shut the door, leaning on it as soon as you shut it. You cover your face, and tears burn your eyes. You crumple in on yourself and slide down the door until you sit on the floor. You hold your head and sob into your knees. Hot tears sizzle down your cheeks, and your nose gets stuffy, so you start to sniffle. You sit there in choked sobs for a while until a soft knock is heard on the door. “Yes?” You choke out. “Hello, I know you may not want to hear from me right now, but Master Gracey sent another brandy to you.” it was the servant from earlier that you had hallucinated to be the hatbox ghost. You stand up, wiping your tears and open the door to see the servant. “Don’t shoot the messenger.” The servant puts their hand up in surrender. You walk over and sit down in a chair by your vanity, motioning for the servant to come in. “Ah, I’m glad to see we’re on good terms then.” they say cheerfully. They walk in and set your brandy down on the vanity, and you immediately pick it up and down it all. “Is there anything else you’ll be needing tonight?” the servant asks with a grin, and suddenly your head starts to spin, and you look back at the servant to see their nose bleeding again and the dark circles returned to under their eyes. “What did you do to me, demon?” You say through gritted teeth while trying to get up. He giggles through the servant’s mouth and pushes you back down. “Don’t want you falling.” He says and throws a gesture in the air, and the door to your room closes quietly. “Oh nothing, just a bit of brandy and a bit of laudanum.” he says in his voice while making the servant tilt their head side to side with each ingredient. Your vision starts to blur around the edges, but you try desperately to hang on. “You… fiend…” you slur out and sway. He walks the servant over to your bed and makes them pick up a pillow. He makes them dust it off and place it in front of you on the vanity. “Can’t have you splitting that head of yours, now can we? Sleep tight.” He laughs maniacally, your head falls to the pillow, and everything fades to black.

Pt.5: https://www.tumblr.com/seriously-nobody/728906187359338496/the-ghost-in-my-heart?source=share