#val writes <3

[historicalvandal]

What would be casual acts of intimacy and trust with your choice of apes

Hello Anon! Thanks for the ask :PP Casual acts of intimacy you sayyy well lemme have a crack at it!

Casual acts of intimacy with Koba! So, with Koba he's not one for PDA openly, he's a private ape, keeps to himself all the time- Casual acts of intimacy with Koba usually happens when you both need comfort, a noncahalant moment of gripping your thigh whilst you ride on his horse, your arms around him from behind, sometimes he'll link his pinkie finger with yours during meals, he usually doesn't seem the type to enjoy a hug or much touch, but he possibly yearns from it if it is coming from his mate, so if you hug him upon his return from a hunting trip, gently press your foreheads together, or even press a kiss to his cheek he's usually somewhat happy unless it is in front of too many apes, he prefers to have sparing glances or touches, brushing a finger across your hand as you two go about your days! Usually an act of trust you'd mainly see between you and Koba is that you are allowed to stand on his blind side from time to time, he'll allow you to tend to his wounds, allow you to touch him or guide his hand.

Casual intimacy with Caesar - Like Koba he isn't big on PDA perhaps he will press his forehead to yours during big celebrations, his way of having casual intimacy throughout your days when your both a bit busy, if you two pass each other he tries to lock eyes with you share a look and small smile, he'll lightly touch your hand during hushed moments of speaking when the colony sit to eat together, looping his finger in your belt loops sometimes grounds him a lot, the stress of his days are usually worked out whenever he locks eyes with you, touches your hand, gently runs his fingers through your hair upon passing one another, riding his horse he prefers to sit behind you so he can keep one hand on the reigns of his horse and the other pressed firmly to your stomach, or your thigh, he's big on holding the more softer parts of his partner in moments of short passing. Acts of trust with Caesar would be allowing you to carry Cornelius, or to give Blue eyes advice, he will trust you when you hold his hand in front of many other apes trusts that you'll understand if he pulls away.

Casual intimacy with Blue eyes - Young love as Caesar has described it, usually you and Blue Eyes can't really help but touch each other, to have your hand in the others hand, casually you are allowed to sit between your legs during the times the colony will eat, the feeling of your back pressed to his chest as you both engage in conversation as you eat brings him comfort, a comforting hand on your hip as he guides you toward your next duty, he'll always have a hand on your back or shoulder whenever Cornelius is sitting in your lap and he notices you two playing, he'll casually brush hair away from your eyes, gently wiping away any tears you may shed if you get hurt or have a nightmare, feeling the softness of your cheek as he cups it in his palm running his thumb in a slow circle just so you'll meet his gaze, he's there, he'll always be there. Acts of trust would be teaching his little brother as he trusts you to teach Cornelius good things, he'll allow you to touch any of his weapons and to maintain them, another act of trust is that he'll trust you to go berry picking alone putting his faith in the skills he's taught you to keep yourself safe, even if berry picking near the colony.

Acts of casual intimacy with Noa - I personally think he's always touchy, not much experience with love yk? Well he'll hold the hem of your shirt if he's feeling nervous waiting for you to take his hand into yours, he'll have you eat at his side when eating communally with the clan probably feeding you some of his own food, tucking feathers into your hair or flowers, casually having a hand on your lower back when talking with other apes of the clan, whispering in your ear during meals, he seems like the type who may pull you into his lap during celebratory meals and keeps talking away to Anaya, his mother Dar or Soona, links his fingers with yours if his father is speaking with the both of you. Acts of trust - Allowing you to at some point do the coming of age ceremony with some other apes rather then with him, Anaya and Soona, he'd also trust you to keep his weapons clean, also one to trust you with keeping yourself safe if you've done so before becoming a member of his clan.

(actually have no clue why Proximus is so tidgy here oml-) Acts of casual intimacy with Proximus - You would borderline be his pet lmao- Not much intimacy is casual with Proximus, what he thinks is casual is having you sit on his lap from time to time, he pets your head playing with your hair if you sit at the foot of his throne, like I said nothing is that casual within the space of intimacy with Proximus, if you think having his hands all over you, touching prodding and poking, petting as well then that would be casual for Proximus, he has to have his hands on you of course he has too, your his, you are HIS pet.

Acts of trust - When he trusts you to groom him, he also trusts you to not run away when he takes you off your little makeshift leash, a massive act of trust is him allowing you to sleep in his nest/bed with him without any guards needing to stand by. Hope this is alright anon! Thanks for the ask <3

[s0livagant]

This pic goes CRAZY

[stinkygirl009]

Dear lord, when I get to heaven,

Please give me all my middle aged men.🙏

[dont-f-with-moogles]

Valentine’s Day prompt 💝

For Dazai x Reader 🔞: it’s Valentine’s Day & Dazai tells Reader how romantic it would be to die together today & Reader replies “how about we fuck instead?”

A Little Death (Dark Era; aged up/18+; NSFW) Mafia!Dazai x Reader  1706 words Tw: sui ideation, choking

It was a secluded scene, shrouded in silence. No one dared to cross the boundary of the hotel’s grounds; to do so was a privilege only afforded to a select few. Its air of secrecy was such that it rendered the half a dozen armed guards who brooded over the tower like ravens, quite superfluous. Port Mafia territory. For a scarce number, its walls knew their secrets but whispered none. For the rest, it was simply impenetrable. 

The hotel room was neither luxurious nor homely. Thin gauze blinds let in little moonlight. Outside, the starless sky was streaked with storm clouds. Even the fluorescence which defined Yokohama’s horizon and kept the city in artificial daylight did not reach this dark corner of the prefecture. Rain pattered relentlessly, the deluge so intense that entire waves were dashed at the rattling windows. Thin branches scraped against glass. You glanced above your head, half-expecting the flaked plaster to cave in at any moment. 

Quieter than the storm came the clicking of the heating unit. A stale smell lingered about the plain, whitewashed walls. A black suit jacket thrown over a chair. Unfinished business. Sake bottles cluttered the side table. A low electric light. Crumpled bed sheets and the scent of sex. 

You felt too cold to remain in the doorway. Shrugging your coat off, you hung it on a wall-mounted hook beside his. Its belt dripped rainwater onto the matting beside your discarded Louboutins. As you crossed into the room his silhouette came into view. Dazai sat cross legged on the floor, arms in his lap, his back against the end of a double, Western-style bed. He made no sign at your approach. His gestures, or lack of, were as inscrutable as ever. No one had ever sifted the murky depths which submerged his heart. You only knew that he played games. And, if his intention was to set you on edge, then you would just have to make yourself comfortable.

“I know I kept you waiting…”

The bed gave a small creak as you knelt upon it. Removing the tie from your hair, you allowed it to tumble down, sodden and tangled, past your waist. Then, with a sound of relative contentment, you flung yourself on your back and stretched out your legs luxuriously upon the pillows. Dazai was motionless; the back of his head remained against the foot of the bed. Dark, brown tufts stood up, unruly. You let your head hang down beside his so that your rain-flecked skin brushed against his face. His cotton bandage wrapping grazed your cheek. You felt his jaw tighten. Upside down, the cracks in the floor appeared more fragile than the ceiling. Either one could give way at any moment.

A hand reached into your hair. 

“If you remember, you did promise me romance…” Dazai’s tone was as soft as silk. With a turn of his head, the tip of his nose brushed your own. His breath, sweet with sake, clouded you. Threatened to pull you under. Only the initiating thread of conversation and he was already reeling you in.

Slowly his fingers stroked loose strands from your face, until he was cradling the back of your head. There was something so gentle, so loving in the subtle press of his fingertips that you closed your eyes. 

“I know…” Your words bore the weight of remorse, even if you didn’t feel it.

Rain lashed violently at the window. Dazai gathered your damp hair around his fingers, weaving a braid like a coil of rope. Playful. If his patience was worn then the lithe movements of his hands did not suggest it. 

“How beautiful…” he mused to himself, wrapping the twisted knots like a noose around his knuckles. Watchful, you lay still. In the gloom the pale skin of your neck shone silver.

“What is?”

Wet hair tickled your throat.

“...why, the thought of dying with you tonight. What else?”

Dazai’s voice was thick with desire, quite at odds with such a fatalistic notion. The weight of your corded braid was draped across your neck. With a rustling movement, he had risen to his knees.

“...that’s why you came here, after all.” Dazai poured his whisper into your ear. Liquid black. 

Unkempt hair brushed your skin. A pale face; his scars half-hidden beneath wrappings. Dazai’s exposed eye gazed down at you with lust. Its colour was as dark as earth whilst the iris gleamed like molten gold at its centre. His words, his gestures, his games; who could look beyond the endless depths into Dazai’s heart? No; to meet his eye was to stare down into the core of the world itself.

A pull upon the end of your hair; the vine wound itself tighter. You smiled up at him, despite the pink blotches forming on your skin. 

“Actually -” you managed, your breath stuttering, “- what I proposed - was a little death.” 

Your scalp burned where strands were almost yanked from the roots. Ignoring your hold upon his sleeve, Dazai twisted your hair around his fingers. As ever, he wove his little designs only for you to fall, ensnared in his trap. Not that you minded. If you had any intention of survival, then you would never have accepted his invitation here tonight. Easy prey. What was the point in the struggle when Dazai could so easily devour you whole?

Then the twisted cord collapsed. Your chest heaved in the quiet room. The long ribbon of your hair was still gathered in Dazai’s grip. Fiercely, he jerked your head backwards. 

“Is that all you can manage?” Warm breath curled over the shell of your ear. His teeth grazed the sensitive skin of your lobe. Bloodlust rose to the surface.

You let out a shiver of breath, rolling your head back against the covers. Dazai’s shadow fell; rippled down your chest as he leaned over the edge of the bed. His black tie swung loose; draped over your ribcage. With a brush of cool air he drew your collar away. Languorous in his movements, he enjoyed the sight of you like this. His nose grazed your bare shoulder, breath ghosting over your skin. Then - a gentle drop of his lips.

“Find out for yourself, Osamu…” 

Dazai pressed his kiss to the base of your throat like a knife. 

Hands gathered in his hair, you sighed as Dazai trailed slow, hot, open-mouthed kisses down to your jawline. Your legs writhed against the pillows. Purple wounds nicked into your skin; each mark counted and tossed on the mound of his sins. They said that only darkness flowed through his veins. Mafia black. Doomed to love as dangerously as he lived.

Dazai tasted your jaw; lingered over your cheek, his breath coming quicker. Threading his fingers through your own, he drew your arms beneath him. A feather-light touch to the pale skin of your wrists, his fingertips wandered your limbs. A tuft of dark fringe swept your chin as Dazai kissed your lower lip. Thighs clenched together, you gave another airless sigh. Your mouth chased his, body arching beneath his caress. Head turning against his own, you felt his tongue glide over the back of your teeth. 

With a creak of mattress springs, the weight upon the bed shifted. Dazai’s knee sank into the covers beside your head. Bandaged hands smoothed the hem of your dress as his mouth nipped languidly at your bottom lip.  The material was bunched together in his fist, and then he slowly drew it up over your hips. 

You gasped as Dazai broke away from your mouth. Fingertips stroked your upper leg. A thumb dipped into the waistline of your underwear. 

“La petite mort… the brief state of unconsciousness.” Dazai’s breath warmed the inside of your leg. “Only those consumed by death or desire know it…”

With one hook of his finger he had drawn the lace down around your ankles. Teeth grazed your thigh. Your chest rose and fell as he pressed a kiss to your soft, warm skin. Inching closer, closer… until he was right above where you wanted him. Your hands slipped down Dazai’s lower back. Then, the first brush of his tongue. A low moan bled from your throat. His crumpled shirt almost tore under your nails.

Dazai teased, tasted your clit; his subtle toying sent heat flaring. But one taste had provoked a deeper craving within him. Tongue flattened against you, Dazai indulged himself. His grasp upon your legs tightened until his knuckles blanched. The swill of his tongue set your tender flesh aflame. Your mouth dropped open, back curved away from the bed. Beads of sweat broke out over your forehead as you gripped the bedsheets in your fists. All you wanted was to feel his movements inside you.

As Dazai leaned over you, the fabric of his suit brushed your ear. Self-serving, of course he never gave without taking. All that mattered was the price you paid. In this position, he had you exactly where he wanted you. Reaching out, your hand brushed the rigid pleat in his trousers. Hastily, you unclasped his belt; slung down the material; drew him out. With a firm grasp you guided his rock hard cock down to your open mouth. 

Lips closed around him. Tight. With a shudder, his hips thrust forward. Dazai’s bandaged hands lifted your legs, splayed you open to swallow you whole. Fingertips buried themselves in your skin. Oh how he longed to grip them in your hair whilst he rubbed himself against your lips. Your nerves were humming; shivers shot through your limbs like electricity. The first syllable of his name collapsed into a moan which sent vibrations down his cock. He scraped the roof of your mouth over and over, until his rhythm began to stutter.

“Fuck…” you heard him choke. “...fuck… no one else can take me like you do.”

He gripped your legs higher, pulled you to him, drank you down. Insatiable. You were burning alive. Helpless, your body melted on his tongue. With a choked gasp, you clenched your thighs around his neck. 

“...wanna die happy…” Dazai’s voice was weak as he wiped his mouth on the inside of your thigh. “...so let me die between these legs, Beautiful...”

[nicole-alt-delete]

Part 2 of Black Bandana!

Just as Robin is about to open the door  and return to the hovel she and Steve consider a job, the door bursts open in front of her and  Eddie Munson blazes past. She barely has time to process his greeting, let alone how red he looks.

"What was that about?" She questions, just briefly looking back at him as she makes her way to the counter, only to find Steve standing there looking shell shocked.

And quite possibly redder than Eddie was.

Robin might not be able to figure out what's going on in the Munson brain, but one look at Steve has her dropping their lunch on the counter in a hurry as her eyebrows shoot up and she leans in to whisper dramatically.

"Did something happen? You didn't tell him-?"

Despite still looking beyond flustered, Steve manages to snap out of it just so he can push her shoulder. "What? God, no- Rob, are you kidding- no, no.... He just uh. I.... I'm not sure what just happened, actually."

He takes a deep breath and runs his hand through that signature hair of his, and as Robin rolls her eyes and rounds the counter he's already got his hands on his hips as he enters his 'thinking mode'.

She takes a seat on another of the counters and reaches for her food, eager to find out just want transpired while she was out.

"Okay then dingus, you know the drill- from the top,"

Steve does a little head shake and starts pacing, taking a moment to go through it in his head, trying to figure out where exactly the top of the situation was. After a few moments of scrunched eyebrows and more head shaking, he finally looks around the store, making sure it's empty again.

"Okay, well... I guess... I mean I guess Eddie came out to me?"

Robin throws her hands up, the fries she was about to shove into her mouth forgotten in her excitement.

"What?! Well that's- that's perfect then right? I mean I told you so, first of all, but then. What's with all the...?" as she gestures to him, pointing out how tense and confused he looks.

Steve rolls his eyes, "No Robs, it's not perfect- it was a shitshow! It was totally an accident, it was like I forced him to say it- and he looked so terrified, I really didn't know those eyes of his could get any bigger. Someone came into the store and he ran away before I could even respond, I don't think he thinks..."

Another sigh as his voice drops a little to mumble,  "He probably thinks I'm gonna punch him or some stupid shit,"

Robin frowns. "An accident... he came out to you on accident." Nodding a little like she gets it. She immediately shakes her head and squints, definitely not getting it at all.

"How did that happen, exactly?"

Steve leans against the opposite counter, the red returning to his face as he crosses his arms. "I guess... you know that bandana he always carries?"

She nods, "The one you stole to get a reaction from him, yeah. I assume he came to get it back like you wanted- so what went wrong?"

"Well- that's just it- you know how I had it in my pocket this morning? Just like he always does? I guess when he came in he saw, and he absolutely freaked the hell out. Jumped over the counter and nearly gave me a heart attack over it,"

Robin laughs, “Over the bandana?”

“Because it was in my pocket,”

She stares at him blankly.

"Because.... it was in your pocket."

He nods.

They blink at each other in silence for a moment, before finally Robin pulls her head back and makes this confused little sneer, setting aside her lunch altogether.

"What the fuck?"

Steve throws his arms up in exasperation, "I know! He freaked out and started talking about how it was some 'symbol' or something and then when I asked what it symbolized he said- he said it means he's gay. Which, okay, cool! We knew that Robs- but now what?!"

He sighs again and slinks down the side of the counter until he hits the floor. Robin doesn't even wait until his butt lands before she's on the ground with him, cross legged and resting her head in her hands.

"Okay, well... first off, forget the bandana thing. Your local lesbian's never heard of it so it can't really be that big of a deal, right? And what, so you wore it like that too. Not technically wrong..."

He rolls his eyes, "Eddie doesn't know-"

"So tell him, dingus! Like I've been telling you to! But no, Harrington has to 'put the moves on him' instead of just using his big boy words,"

She huffs softly and punches him in the shoulder lovingly, which Steve whines about.

"Ow, Robs- okay, I get it, I get it- he's not going to want to talk to me though,"

"Doesn't matter, if you don't do it then I'm making you do the closing clean for the next week, you hear me?"

Steve groans even louder this time, putting his head in his hands before running them through his hair, the classic Steve Reset Button(tm).

He nods, "Alright I'll go. You're worse than Dustin sometimes, you know that?"

She smirks and stands up, offering him a hand and yanking him back up too. "If Dustin was the one helping you with this you would have killed him by now, so we both know that's not true,"

--

Eddie jumped back in his van and sped back home just as fast as he legally could. Actually- that was a lie, he was definitely speeding. By a lot.

He had to get as far as he possibly could from Steve Harrington, and he had to do it yesterday.

After screeching into the trailer park and turning the ignition off as fast as humanly possible, he bolted inside and ran to his room, debating just how many things he really *needed* if he were to run away on the spot.

He’s seen what happens to gay kids in Hawkins, knows it’ll only be worse for him. The last thing he needed was to be both the falsely accused murderer AND the faggot. Not to mention the heartbreak of having Steve be the start of it…

Part of Eddie knows Steve wouldn’t. He really does try to believe it. But his instincts take over.

He grabs an old duffel bag and starts scrambling to put clothes in it, not bothering to check whether they're clean or dirty, just moving on anxious, paranoid instinct.

Thoughts race through his head about what Wayne will say, and how far away he should be before he calls. His heart aches at the idea of leaving behind Hellfire and his band, but he doesn't think he could stand to let either of them see him after Steve finds him and throws the first punch, or whether the kids would even care once he inevitably told them too.

He starts a pile at the foot of his bed, debating how much he can fit in the van, planning to leave during the night, figuring he has at least enough for gas to the next major city. He gets so caught up in his silly little escape plan that he doesn't realize how long it's actually taking him to "pack".

There's a knock on the door and Eddie nearly has a heart attack,  jumping from the sound and immediately kicking his dresser,  all thoughts completely gone from his head as he curses at the pain.

"Son of a FUCKING bitch, shitting stick- mother fucker- I'll be there in a damn second!" he huffs as there's a second, more timid knock.

Without thinking about any of the things he had just a moment ago been panicking over, he limps to the door and swings it open, ready to berate whoever bothered him, only to stop dead when he sees...

Steve. Of course it's Steve. He's not even taken off his stupid work vest yet and the little bottlecap button Eddie had made him last week was staring right at him from his chest.

Steve waves shyly at Eddie and starts to say something, but Eddie can't hear it, already backing away and starting to blabber, "Listen man- I was- I was joking earlier! I wouldn't- there's nothing to- you really don't have to hurt me or anything, I swear-"

Steve stays on the porch, looking a little stunned. No, not stunned... hurt. Or- maybe worried? He looks kind of like if you kicked a puppy and then threw it in the pool, except sadder.

Not actually, probably, but as far as Eddie's concerned, the look on Steve's face hurts him about a hundred times worse than a sad puppy could.

Steve puts a hand on the back of his neck, the other held up to show he means no harm, sighing, "I'm not gonna hurt you Eds, I'd never... I just wanted to talk, I um. I thought..."

He stammers for a second, unsure what else to say, caught in between thoughts and clearly unprepared for how Eddie had reacted.

Eddie can't help but relax a little. No matter how worried he was, being around Steve always made him relax, but seeing him like this? How was he supposed to be scared anymore?

Eddie groans a little, "Just- get in here Harrington, you're killing me- if there's some mob on their way you better get your shit together before they get here,"

Eek, here it is, part 2! Sorry for making y'all wait, I am famously bad at working on things so thank you all for your patience 🙏 There WILL absolutely be a part 3, (maybe a part 4 if I want to get spicy), so I'll try to tag as many people for that one as well. And thank you all so so much for your sweet comments! I've been in such an art block lately, so writing something for a change and getting all this positive feedback is so encouraging 💜

Tag list! I tried to get everyone, but tumblr was weird with some of them, so I hope you're seeing this if you asked <3

@goodolefashionedloverboi @newtstabber @plutoshelm @jestyzesty @bisexualdisastersworld @sofadofax @bornonthesavage @awkwardgravity1 @trikigirl271 @thegayestpersonever @precursprandthedragon@mightbeasleep

@cherixxx69 @baron-zemo-trash @ilikechocolatemilkh @justforthedead89 @alienace @4nemo1egend @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaring @breealtair @shinekocreator @sleepdeprivedflower @justanothergirlwithobsessions

@bxlthazar @thegingervulcan @questionablequeeries @my2amgaythoughts @doilooklikebees @gobbledy-gluk-gluk @luthienstormblessed @joruni @drinkingforthesociallyanxious @largechaos @dangdirtydemons @faery-god

@satan-is-obsessed @vi-an-te @beckkthewreck @kori-dearest @the-s-is-silent @hellomynameismoo @commonxsenss @blues-tunes @lizard-dyk3 @the-long-gone-souls @paddington22017 @imeverycliche @tungledotfuck @inmoonywetrust @dreammetheworld08 @dazedandinked @escapingthereality

[faarkas]

domain expansion: weeb in a onesie

[burrowbaddie]

Blue Eyes & Honey Sunrise

Joe Burrow x Female Reader

Series Summary: You, one of the top actresses in the world find yourself falling for the unbelievably attractive quarterback, Joe Burrow. But as Joe falls faster he finds that everything isn’t so golden about the world’s golden girl.

Acts: 3/?

Status: Ongoing

Please read the warning careful for this chapter. Proceed with caution; some content could be triggering!

Warnings: female!reader, smut, swearing, oral (m&f receiving), vaginal fingering, unprotected sex, taking plan b, mentions of toxic past relationship, age gap between ex and reader, mentions of past abusive relationship,

Act 3 Summary: Joe learns more about you which only makes him fall deeper into the web of you.

Word Count: 6.7k

Series Masterlist

Eliza sits on the sidelines, watching you complete your scene. She can tell how stressed you've been since discovering Jackson was a producer. Eliza has been beating herself up for two weeks because she scoped out the project when you received it to ensure he was nowhere near it. How he slipped his name in there, you might never know, but then again, he is Jackson Taylor, Mr.Hollywood. The director yells cut and gives everyone a 5 min break except you. Before Eliza can run over, Jackson is looming over you. Eliza tries to make her way over, but Jackson's security stops her. You look over at your best friend/ assistant with pleading eyes.

"You're not focused and starting to piss the director off. And what's this? You don't shoot nude scenes."

"It's in my contract. I've never shot nude scenes before, so-"

"That's not happening. This scene calls for a nude scene. Take your clothes off."

"I don't-"

"Do you want to be replaced? I can make that happen. Forget the contract and go get ready to shoot the nude scene." Jackson walks away, leaving you stunned. Your make-up artist rushes over to do a touch-up, but you wave her off.

"Get my sunshine ready for the nude scenes," Jackson calls out to the staff. After another 30 mins of prep, you sit in your dressing room in only a robe.

"We can leave. He can't force you to do this scene. I can have your manager speak with the director."

"They're childhood friends, so it doesn't matter. My manager has never protected me from that monster, so why would she do it now." You sniffle, wiping your eyes, and hop down from your chair. Eliza grabs your hand.

"Put your clothes on, and let me handle it. If you have to be called a Diva, so be it, but you put your clothes on. We're leaving." She whispers. You nod your head and get dressed. Eliza walks out to the staff and tells them you've come down with a fever. Jackson rolls his eyes.

"Let me speak with her."

"You've done enough. Leave her alone." Eliza glares at him. Jackson walks away, and Eliza returns to the dressing room. Everyone on set tells you to get well soon. The director tells you to take all the time you need; from the corner of your eye, you can see Jackson glaring at you.

"We're already behind on schedule, and she is going to put us further behind because of a fucking fever. Come on." Jackson complains to the director.

"My star is sick. Let her head home and get properly rested. She will be back in a few days." The director walks away. You sit in your van and rest your head on the window. Eliza became your assistant after everything with Jackson ended, and she's been your best friend since, so you were finally happy to have someone in your corner.

"Joe called me yesterday." She whispers. You turn to her with a look of despair.

"Why were you talking to Joe?"

"He wants to help. His sister-in-law is an outstanding lawyer, and maybe she can look over the contract and-"

"I can't. Please just leave it alone. Stop talking to Joe."

"He cares about you. If you knew the things he said about you, you wouldn't brush him off. He's nothing like Jackson."

"Jackson was nothing like Jackson when we met, and look where I am now. Do your job as my assistant and find me roles not linked to Jackson, and stop interfering with my relationships!" You shout. Eliza moves away from you and starts looking through your schedule.

"I've cleared your schedule for the rest of the day. The driver will take you home." Eliza says, climbing out of the van. You try to call for her, but she slams the door closed. You go back and forth at home between unblocking Joe or letting him stay blocked. You look down at your glass of red wine and sigh. You decide to call Eliza and apologize.

"I'm trying to move things around for your schedule, so if you have anything you need to add-"

"Eliza, I'm sorry about earlier. With Jackson breathing down my neck, I'm on edge. I miss Joe, and I'm feeling low overall. It's not an excuse to take my anger out on you." You apologize and wait for her reply.

"I know it must be hard, but you're not in this alone. I will help you if you let me. And Joe….he really cares about you."

"I can't bring Joe into this. I'm sorry."

"Can I send the contract to him to look at with the lawyer, at least?" Eliza asks. You think about it and give her the okay. Two days later, Eliza meets up with Joe in NY while he's there for the Today show. She hands him a copy of the contract. Joe takes a seat and reads it over. His face twists and turns as he reads every detail.

"It's pretty gross, right? The first time I read it, I almost threw up. We've had outstanding lawyers review this; nothing will hold up in court. Even so, Jackson will do everything he can to ruin her career before it even got out." Eliza sits across Joe on the couch, shaking her head.

"He needs to die."

Eliza starts laughing but nods in agreement.

"He's a shitty person. How can you help?" She asks, hoping he has the answers.

"I'll show this to Janet when I get home. How is she?"

"She's doing the best she can right now. I hate leaving her in LA, but I had to come here to sign paperwork for her to do SNL. We took a day off, so she can't take any more breaks from shooting. Jackson made sure of it. Do you want me to call her?"

"Do you think she'll speak to me?" Joe stands and puts the contract on the table, watching Eliza call you.

"Hey, you've reached-" Eliza was ready to hang up, but Joe stopped her. He wanted to hear your voice, even if just your voicemail.

You hurry off set to your dressing room, locking the door to keep the devil away. You turn your phone on and notice a voicemail from Eliza; thinking nothing of it, you press play.

"It's me. I know. I know you told me to stop contacting you, but I can't. You can call me crazy later when we tell our grandkids how you blocked me on every platform, including email, but right now, just listen to me. I love you, baby. I'm going to fight for you and for us. I won't stop until I can tell the world how madly I am in love with you. You mean too much to me for me to let you go…to let you sit on the sidelines alone. I'm your Jack, and you're my Rose. I'd give up every door in this world if it meant you wouldn't drown…I love you. Uhhh, have a good time shooting your new movie. You're amazing. You got this." Joe ends the voicemail and hands the phone back to Eliza, who is full-on crying.

You stare at your phone, wiping the tears falling down your face. You feel at ease hearing Joe's words. You've never experienced this kind of love, which felt calming and warm. You put your phone down, thinking about your next action. Putting Joe at risk with Jackson wasn't something you could live with, so you ultimately choose not to reply. Your break is over, and you can't remember how many times you've listened to the voicemail, but something inside you ignite. Returning to the set, you get into character and complete each scene flawlessly. After a long night, you are ready to go home and soak in a hot bath until Jackson stops you.

"Have dinner with me?"

"Are you out of your mind? Go fuck yourself." You spit, trying to walk away, but he lightly grabs your elbow. You cringe and freeze under his touch.

"It's a dinner with the rest of the cast. That's all. Nothing more." He states. You look around the set seeing everyone chatting. Agreeing to dinner, you tell your driver to take you home first, but Jackson tells him to take the night off because his driver will chauffeur everyone. You try to sit in the back, furthest away from Jackson. And at dinner, you sit away from him, but somehow through the night, he makes his way right next to you. You laugh and join the conversations trying to keep your mind away from Jackson. It doesn't help when he places his hand on your knee. You push his hand off, but he grabs your hand and brings it to his lips. You give a weak smile, unable to snatch your hand away as he locks his fingers with yours. Your costar gives you a thumbs up and a head nod. When dinner ends, Victoria, your costar, invites everyone to her home for drinks. You sit in the living room awkwardly sipping your wine, listening to everyone talk about the upcoming Oscars. You excuse yourself to get some water, and Jackson follows you.

"How long are you going to ignore me? Sunshine, it's me. I've changed. I want things to be different between us."

"If you think I would ever return to you, you are more insane than I thought. Stay away from me." You try to walk around him, but he blocks your path.

"Only Joey is good enough for you?" He whispers. You can smile at the whiskey on his breath and try to move your face.

"I'm not with Joe. So knock it off and leave people only." You grab his wrist, making him chuckle.

"If you're not with him, what does it matter that I want to mess with the kid a little?" He laughs, running his thumb across your lip.

"I don't want innocent people hurt because of me. If you want to ruin someone, then ruin me more than you already have." You grip his wrist tighter. He leans in and kisses you.

"Oh my! I knew something was up with you two!" Victoria shouts, running to tell the rest. You pull away, ready to slap Jackson, but he catches your wrist.

"Don't tempt me with a good time." He laughs, walking away, leaving you there disgusted. You rush to the bathroom to wash your lips. When you step back into the room, everyone whistles. You say your goodbyes and call your driver. At home, you spend a good amount of time in the shower breaking down. You get out of the shower and unblock Joe, calling him.

"H-Hello," Joe wipes his eyes, sitting up. You don't say anything and listen to him rustling in the sheets.

"You don't have to save anything. I'm glad you called me. I've been worried about you. Are you okay?" He asks, turning on the nightstand lamp. Your hands shake, and you close your eyes, letting his voice calm you.

"It's okay. You don't have to say anything. Press a button once for yes and twice for no. Are you okay?" He asks again. This time you press one twice.

"I'm sorry. Do you want me to come to see you?"

You press one button. Joe smiles.

"Okay. I'll look at flights right now. I missed you so much. I know it's only been a few weeks, but it's killing me. I looked at the contract. We're going to get through this. Did you miss me?"

You pause for a min that rolls into two mins leaving Joe in complete suspense. And finally, you press one giving him the relief he waited for. Joe smiles and lets out another sigh.

"It must be late there. Get some rest. I'll see you later today. I love you." Joe lingers on the phone a bit, hoping to hear your voice.

"Can you stay on the phone until I fall asleep?" You whisper. And there his heart goes filling with all the love he holds for you.

"Of course," Joe replies. Joe continues his morning routine while you lay down, listening to his shower, making a smoothie, and brushing his teeth. He also keeps you on the phone while he drives to the airport. When he arrives at the airport, he listens to your light snores for a few minutes before hanging up.

You wake up to a few texts from Joe letting you know he has a layover in Texas, but he should see you sometime tonight. But that's not the text that you respond to first. It's the text from your manager asking about Jackson. You dial her number and play with your fingers while listening to the ringer.

"Are you back together with Jackson? Victoria has already told half the staff you two were kissing last night. I need to know what you're doing. Now I have a shit ton of people messaging me about it. Well?" She sounds annoyed, and you take note of it.

"He kissed me. He was drunk."

"Right. I'll handle it like I always do. You need to be on set by 3:30. Eliza will meet you there." She hangs up without another word. You lay there trying your best to prepare yourself for work. You used to enjoy acting, but now it seems tiring and focused. And with Jackson breathing down your neck, you can catch a break. Maybe you should retire at 28 next year. You giggle at the thought. It's your dream, and you shouldn't give it up because of one prick. You get yourself out of bed and ready to eat lunch and get to set. Of course, when you get to set, everyone is asking you about Jackson. You deny the rumors and lock yourself in the dressing room. Until the devil himself knocks, and you open the door, not letting him enter.

"What do you want? That stunt you pulled yesterday, go fuck yourself. I'm never getting back with you. When you learn that, then you can move the fuck on."

Jackson chuckles. He leans against the door and then closer to you.

"And what will the media think? Look how far you got in your career and so quickly too. They will think you used me to get where you are. Do whatever you want, but I will bend the story to my needs. I don't think Mike Brown would be happy with his star player getting caught in a scandal. I can, and I will make that happen. Try me."

Once again, Jackson leaves you speechless. You return to your room, slamming the door in his face. He can't ruin Joe's career just because you don't want to be with him. You're stuck here in this never-ending Hell with him. After leaving him, he ensured you couldn't get deals for months. It wasn't until your manager begged that he released the hold a little. Eliza enters the room and hugs you. She's already heard the rumor from Karen, your manager. You try to explain what happened without breaking down. But you fail. Eliza holds you as you sob.

"He's going to do something to Joe. I can't get out of this thing."

"You can. Janet should be arriving. And she's already looked over what Joe sent her, so maybe-"

"He's not going to let me go. I'll never be happy again." You stand up, leaving Eliza in the room. During a break, you watch the staff and cast whisper and can't help but think it's aimed toward you.

"Like, why else would she get this role? Fucking Jackson Taylor gets you everything." A girl whispers. You keep staring ahead, trying not to let words get to you.

"Ladies, I don't think talking like that on set is very professional. If my sunshine wasn't so lovely, she would have you both fired and blacklisted. Get lost." He tells them, taking a seat next to you.

"This is how it starts. Now you either come to me and let me protect you, or I'll let this bury you and your career." He turns to you with a smile. You put your head down.

"I'll give you until the end of the week for my answer. And darling, I'm expecting the right answer. I have to fly to Paris, but I'll be back." He stands and kisses your head. You let his words play in your head all day. And when you get home, you find Joe sitting in your living room watching one of your movies. You become shy when he turns noticing you.

"Hey." He stands up as his sister-in-law comes around the corner. You run over and hug him. Joe holds you tight like he's afraid to let you go again.

"I've been looking over the contract. Let's sit down and talk." Janet says. You guys go to the dining room, and Eliza joins a little later.

"So I know this is an NDA, and you breaking it would result in a lawsuit. There really is nothing wrong with this on the surface, but if you are behind its words and intent, it's gross. I think we need something more. We need to know about the relationship in depth." Janet explains. You look at Joe, then Eliza. Eliza nods her head, telling you to speak. But you can't. The words you have to say won't come out. Your throat feels as if rose thorns have begun to grow there. Jackson stole your voice years ago, and he has the key. Joe holds your hand, encouraging you. Warm and tenderly, he strokes the back of your hand.

"Was he abusive?" Janet asks. You look down at the brown table and nod. Janet starts writing.

"Emotionally, Mentally, or….physically?" She asks.

"All." You whisper. Joe clenches his teeth but remains calm. He needs to be calm for you.

"It's hard to prove things that took place years ago. I'm in no way lowering your trauma, but that is what the court will argue." Janet reaches her hand across the table to hold yours.

"I can't prove anything. If I came out with these accusations, no one would believe me. It's another dead end." You shake your head in frustration. If you were to see this thing through, you would need proof. Unfortunately, this world doesn't take women's truth at face value especially dealing with powerful men.

"When do you need to be back to set?" Janet asks.

"Two days."

"You let me figure something out. I'll handle this. I need to rest, so I'll go to the guest room if that's okay." Janet stands up, and you let Joe take her to the room. Eliza holds your hand, apologizing for leaving you, but you tell her you are fine. A feeling has been knawing at you since you laid eyes on Joe again. When you two are alone, you convince him to join you for a bath. You didn't mean for things to become R rated quickly, but 10 mins into your bath, you find yourself riding Joe. The water splashes around the tub, some spilling on the floor as Joe bounces you up and down his shaft.

"Missed you so fucking much." He groans into the kiss. You missed him too, but the words never left your lips. But Joe knows you missed him; you don't have to say it. You throw your head back when Joe begins playing with your clit.

"I'm going to cum." You cry, shutting your eyes. Joe coaches you through your orgasm.

"So beautiful. That's it, baby, keep riding me. Ride it out. Such a good girl." He whispers against your collarbone. You look down at him and smile.

"Want you to cum inside me."

Joe chokes, and you feel him twitch inside you. He starts bouncing you faster on his cock. Using your body like a fuck doll.

"Feels so good. Fill me up." You shout. And Joe complies, holding you down on his lap as he empties himself into your sweet little cunt. He bites down on your shoulder, suppressing his loud grunts. You play with his hair and can't wipe the smile off your face. After a quick shower, you throw on shorts and a tank top, and Joe stays in his shorts. He can't keep his hands off you, and it's not like you want him to stop. In fact, you can't keep your lips off of him. You leave a big bruise on his neck, and kitten lick the red blotchy skin patch. Joe chuckles and slips his hand into your shorts, groping your ass in his large hands.

"Do you believe me?" You whisper, folding your hands under your chin and propping your chin on your hands. Joe is leaning on a pillow while you lay on your tummy on top of him. He looks down at you and licks his lips.

"I do. There's never been a doubt."

"Maybe I deserved-"

"Don't. Don't you ever say you deserved any of the abuse. He's a piece of shit. He took advantage of you."

"But I owe him so much. My career would be nothing if he didn't back me up. If he didn't get me the best acting coach or-"

"You are amazing because of you. Not because of anyone else."

"The first time it happened, I was shocked. You hear about domestic violence, but you think not me. It can't happen to me. But when it did, I thought I stressed him out, so it was my fault it won't happen again. I made excuses after that. It was empty threats for a while, but those empty threats….turned into real things. The third time is when I finally left. It's the reason I don't go to award shows anymore. After I won my third Oscar, we got into this huge argument on the way home….I-"

"You don't have to share this." Joe lightly cups your face.

"I want to. I want you to know why I can never love you." You sit up on his lap and take a deep breath. Joe nods, telling you to continue.

"He was upset with me for having more wins than him. Crazy when I think about it. He accused me of sleeping with the board or something. I was so upset because it was a big night for me, and he ruined it by making it about himself. He told me I was nothing without him. I didn't thank him in my speech, and that pissed him off even more. I've won best supporting actress twice already, so when my name was called for Best Actress, I blanked. It was everything I ever wanted. It's what I've been dreaming about since I was a little girl, and he ruined that night for me. He took away my special day and ruined it….ruined me. That night was the last night for us. It was the last day I would ever let him lay his hands on me or make me feel lower than dirt. I promised myself that I would only live for myself." You sniffle, wiping your nose on the back of your hand. Joe reaches up and wipes your tears.

"You're so strong. You know that?" Joe whispers, wiping your face.

"I'm not strong. I'm afraid of him. I'm worried everything will get taken away from me with the snap of his fingers. I hid for months after that win, and many people assumed I was on break, but I was hiding from him. He would call me and leave messages threatening me. I was so afraid he was going to-When I finally answered him, he brought up the contract. I had forgotten all about it until we sat down with his lawyer and my manager. He made me promise not to date for five years. At the time, dating was the last thing on my mind. I stopped taking projects with his name attached because I wanted to see if I could do it by myself. And I did…But I haven't won anything since then, and it's because-"

Joe sits up to pull you in his arms as you break down. Your body trembles, and you begin to sob uncontrollably. Joe's blood begins to boil, listening to your cries. There's no way Joe can be in the same room with Jackson without ripping his head off.

"I can't let myself fall in love with you because I'm afraid you'll turn out to be just like him. I've seen reports about football players, and I can't let myself fall into another situation like that. I'm scared to fall in love with you only to end up in the same situation I've been running from. I can't love you, Joe. I'm broken. I'm not this glamorous woman smiling for the cameras. I'm a scared girl who only wants to hide. I'm scarred, and being associated with me will only make you a target for Jackson. He's not going to stop until I come back to him. If I don't, he will make sure I will be alone and miserable for the rest of my life."

"I won't let him. He can do whatever the fuck he wants to my career, but I won't let him bully and belittle you. You mean too fucking much to me to sit aside and let you live in misery. I love you. I'm nothing like him, and I hope to prove that to you the more time we spend together. You don't have to fall in love with me. I want you to be in love with me." Joe kisses your forehead rubbing your back. You guys lay back down, letting sleep take over. The next morning you make everyone breakfast. Janet leaves to handle some things. Joe follows you around the house, helping you with random things. You both end up back in bed, kissing and wrapped in each other's company. Joe sighs against your lips, rubbing your back. His fingers tangle themselves in your hair as you kiss his neck again, leaving a twin mark to last night's love mark. You giggle, listening to Joe hum a song.

"What are you humming?"

"Fallin All In You by Shawn Mendes."

You raise your eyebrows, never hearing the song before you tell him to sing it. Joe's face turns red. He's not a great singer but he would do anything to make you smile. And, of course, impress you.

"Every time I see you, baby, I get lost. If I'm dreaming, baby, please don't wake me up. Every night that I'm with you, I fall more in love. Now, I'm lying by your side; everything feels right since you came along." Joe sings off-tone. You giggle and hold his face.

"You're so cute." You kiss his lips. Joe brushes his nose against your cheek.

"Stop laughing at me and sing me a song." He pouts, knowing you always give in to his pout. You clear your throat and sit up. Joe's ocean eyes stare back at you with so much admiration that you become shy under his gaze. You cover your face and start laughing.

"No fair." Joe pouts.

"You're making me nervous. How about we play I Spy." You smile, getting up from the bed and opening the curtains to let in light from your beautiful California landscape.

"What are we, 12?"

"I spy with my little eye something blue."

Joe gets up and stands next to you. He looks around and finally points to the pool.

"The pool." He says. You nod with a smile.

"I spy with my little eye something green."

"Grass. Joseph, that's too easy." You laugh, looking around the backyard.

"I spy something hot." You turn to him with a wink.

"You," Joe replies with no hesitation.

"That wins you no points, by the way."

"The sun. I spy something beautiful." Joe is staring down at you, making you shy again under his gaze. He leans down, kissing your lips once you point to yourself, answering his question. Before the kiss can get deeper, you get a call from Janet. You guys go downstairs to find Janet, Eliza, and an older woman.

"This is Alex. She wants to take your case if you want to proceed." Janet says, introducing you. You look at Joe, then Eliza.

"I don't want to take it to court. Is there a way we can handle it quietly? I just want Jackson to leave me alone." You whisper. Alex nods her head.

"I will draw up a contract with your terms, and we will present it to Mr.Taylor and his lawyer," Alex responds. You fiddle with your fingers wanting to say more but stop yourself.

"I would like you to, umm, what do you kids call it, soft launch? Yes, soft launch your relationship with Joe." Alex states. You immediately start shaking your head. Alex softly grabs your hand.

"My job is to protect you. I would never put you in danger without not having a plan. Can you trust me?" She asks. But you shake your head again.

"Jackson would-"

"React. That's what we want out of him. We need a reaction." Janet adds.

"You don't understand his reaction won't be anything small. He will take my career away. He'll…"

Alex pulls you into a hug.

"I've been where you are. I know how scared you are. You deserve to be happy and free of that monster. Think about it tonight. And in the morning if it's still too much for you…We will come up with something else." Alex whispers into your ear. She lets you go and follows Janet. Joe takes your hand and brings you to the pool. You, Joe, and Eliza swim around for a few hours, then order take-out before finally returning to your bedroom.

"I'm a coward." You stare at yourself in the mirror.

Joe stops drying his hair, putting the towel down to give you his full attention.

"You're not a coward. You are brave and strong. You left him." Joe pulls you into a hug. You spend the rest of the night lying on sheets on the floor, talking about mundane things. And when the is starting to rise, Joe makes love to you on a bed of sheets across the floor. Your soft moans fill him with bliss as he rocks into your shaking body. With every kiss, he whispers how much he loves you. And when you are both completely spent, you lay there drifting to sleep. Joe reaches over for his phone and takes a picture of you. You open your eyes, giggling, reaching for your own phone as Joe stands and slips on his shorts. You look at the angry red marks you left on his back and smile. Joe bends down and picks you up. You wrap your legs and arms around him as you watch the sun peek over the horizon. You take the photo of you and Joe in the reflection of the glass. Joe carries you to the bed kissing your neck.

"When does football start?"

"The fall, but I'll be heading back for practice and stuff. That doesn't mean I won't see you. I'll-"

"Do you want to meet my family?" You cut him off. Joe runs his thumb over your bottom lip.

"I would love to meet them." He replies. You log onto IG and post your morning photo with the caption, "Blue eyes and honey sunrise."

It takes 10 seconds for your IG to blow up and texts to come to your phone. Joe looks down at your phone, laughing. It takes 10 mins for blogs to post and try to pin you to any blue-eyed actor. You're happy they're looking in the wrong direction—Jackson's name flashes across your screen. Joe snatches the phone and tosses it before peppering your face with kisses. And when Sunday comes, Joe sits uncomfortably across from your father and three brothers. They were pretty intimidating.

"So the Bengals quarterback, huh? This goes against everything. I'm a Bills fan." Your dad slaps the table scaring Joe. You roll your eyes and wrap your arm around Joe's arm.

"Well, I guess now you will become a Bengals fan. I need to take this call." You say, getting up and going to answer a phone call.

"What do you want with our sister?" Your oldest brother asks.

"I--umm-Nothing. Love? I'm not sure about the question." Joe stutters. Your youngest brother can't help but laugh. You told him and you and Joe so long ago. He wondered why it took you so long to mention it to the rest of the family.

"Corey, shut up. You're the least intimidating person ever." Brian, your middle brother, says, laughing. Corey starts laughing, agreeing. Your father joins in.

"It's been a long time since we've seen her smile like that. We figured she must have dated some asswipe in Hollywood. She won't tell us, but seeing her happy again is good." Your dad holds his hand out, and Joe shakes it. You come back to the guys laughing and take your seat.

"Honey, dinner was good as always." Your dad starts clearing the table, but you take the plates.

"I'll clean you guys chat." You say, grabbing things.

"This is my house. You came to visit me last min; why would I make you clean up?" Your father stands and takes the plates. You shake your head and follow him to the kitchen. Joe gets comfortable with your brothers as they talk about sports and nonsense. Your dad watches you wash the dishes with a smile on his face.

"He's in love with you. That boy has not stopped staring at you since you first arrived."

"I know." You whisper, drying your hands.

"What's wrong?"

"It's not a feeling I want to talk about with you." You reply. Your dad looks at you feeling frustrated. You're his baby girl, his youngest child. The fact that you feel the need to keep him 6 feet away hurts him, but he agreed to give you space.

"Are you guys leaving? Maybe stay the night?"

"Joe has to get back to Ohio, and I must get home. I wanted to introduce you guys. Thank you for having us." You walk away to find the guys joking around. Your youngest brother, Aaron, pulls you into a hug. After saying your goodbyes, you and Joe fly back to LA. You lied to your dad about Joe going home, but it was better to keep your contact with your family to a min, especially with Jackson breathing down your neck.

"Right there?" Joe whispers against your sweaty forehead. You bite your lip and nod your head as Joe continues to bury his fingers deep in your cunt.

"One more for me. Right, baby?"

You nod and grab his wrist feeling your walls breaking down. Joe circles your clit with his thumb and smiles against your cheek as you cum onto his fingers. You lay there heaving, trying to relax your sensitive body.

"What time do you need to be on set?"

"I think 7 pm, which is in two hours. I need to get a shower and get dressed." You sit up, staring at Joe.

"He's going to be on set today?" He asks you.

"Probably."

"Janet and Alex are working on some things, so don't worry. Ignore whatever he says. I have to catch this flight; otherwise, I would go-"

"You're not allowed. We have to remain like this for some time." You pat his cheek. Saying goodbye to Joe, for now, was hard, but you knew you would have to face Jackson sooner or later. But to your surprise, Jackson wasn't on set.

Joe entered the meeting room with Ja'Marr and Sam, laughing about something Marr had said. His smile leaves his face as he sits staring at the head coach Zac, Duke Tobin, the general manager, and Jackson Taylor.

"I figured we should introduce everyone to Jackson Taylor. I'm sure everyone knows him, but he has made hefty donations to the team and is currently in negotiation to be co-owner of the Bengals. I have to say it's an honor to bring him aboard for our future endeavors." Duke says. The room cheers Jackson on as he steps forward.

"Growing up in Cincinnati, it's only fitting that I put some money back into the place that raised me," Jackson says with a big smile.

"Yo, this is so fucking dope. Greatest of all time!" Ja'Marr shouts, earning cheers and roars for Jackson from the team—everyone except Joe. Jackson's eyes glance over to Joe. And for a minute, they seem to be the only two people in the room. Zac goes through some upcoming training and practices. At the end of the meeting, the team takes photos with Jackson. Joe stands to the side, eyeing him the whole time. Finally, Jackson approaches him.

"Two Ohio boys reunited. This is going to be a great season." Jackson holds his hand out for Joe to shake, but Joe doesn't move. Joe smacks his hand away.

"Stay away from her."

"I have no clue what you're talking about."

"Listen, you piece of-"

"Joe. I'm glad to see you guys chatting it up. Actually, this is great. Jackson told me about the children's charity he runs, and I forwarded the info to your agent. It would be great if you guys collaborated on it." Duke says. Jackson takes Joe's hand, shaking it and smiling as someone takes a photo of them. Joe snatches away and walks off. He calls Janet informing her of the news.

"Fuck. He's going to be a tricky bastard to bring down. Joe, you have to keep your cool." Jante warns. Joe agrees but doesn't know how long he can keep his cool. Not with him knowing the kind of person Jackson really was. Around 4 am, Joe calls you up to see how your day went. You explain; it's been crazy. Everyone keeps asking who the mystery guy is, but you laugh it off. It was quite a risky photo, but everyone loved it for the most part. Your fans haven't stopped talking about it, reposting, and deep diving to discover who your lover is. It made you laugh at every tweet and comment. Over the next two weeks, Jackson doesn't come to set, which gives you relief. And just like that, the film is wrapped up, and you're free of him….or so you thought.

"I think it would be in your best interest to get back with Jackson." Karen, your manager says one day. You turn to her shaking your head.

"I'm dating someone so-"

"And your contract says you are not allowed to date anyone for the next five years. Three years now."

"It says I can't go public. We're not public. We-"

"Stop being dumb here. Do you want him to ruin your career? I'm trying to help you before you make this worse." Karen crosses her arms and storms away. You start playing with your hands and overthinking. Before you can drown any further, Joe's name on your phone pops up, pulling you back to safety.

Karen walks into Jackson's dressing room.

"Well, what did she say?" He asks, signing some papers.

"Jacks, just let her go. I'm not sure why you're so stuck on this one girl. She-"

"Do I fucking pay you to give me unsolicited advice? Do your fucking job and get her back to where she belongs, or I promise you will never have another fucking client in the entertainment business again." He slams his pen down. Karen glares at Jackson and walks away, slamming the door. Jackson leaves the room to find you on set receiving flowers from the staff. He walks over and kisses you smack on the lips.

"So proud of you, honey."

"I knew it! I knew you were dating!" Victoria squeals. You awkwardly pull away and give a nervous smile. Jackson kisses the top of your head.

"She's always been mine." He whispers. Victoria takes your flowers and pulls you away, gushing over the kiss. Eliza stands to the side, shocked and seething with anger. Everyone is smiling and congratulating Jackson, and she grabs the hot coffee on the stand and walks over, throwing it on him.

A/N: I forgot to make a tag list! But I will if you leave a comment here, I will start tagging you guys. thanks for all the love and comments. Sorry this got a little dark but as we know its not all sunshine in the limelight. And this stems from some personal aspects. Reblogs, comments, and likes are always appreciated. Love talking to you guys about my stories or anything!

[prince-liest]

oh my god. your wording in one of ur latest anon answers. does…. is val the only one who does the dumping? does vox never dump val??? i always like… idk i assumed that they both broke it off in a never ending downward spiral, mutually. but oh my GOD? you’re saying val is the only one doing the breaking up? i….. this is shifting my entire perspective on vox. HOLD ON. HOLD ON. not to beat a dead dove here (that was a brilliant pun yes i’m stealing it), but……… this is sliding right into my vault where i keep my Vox and Domestic Violence Thoughts. he just seems so…. helpless. he’s helpless all the time and in complete denial about it. at first it was clear he’s pretty helpless around alastor -in both canon and your fic. alastor is stronger, and also, in the beginning had the Extreme emotional upper hand. i knew this, yet, like in canon, i assumed more or less alastor was the chink in his armor. vox DOES run the vee’s competently, he handles val, and he’s arguably the fourth most powerful sinner in hell (behind zestial, carmilla, and alastor). those 3 things are true, AND YET. let’s look behind the wizards curtain. how does vox live his Personal life. not his job or position of power. how does his close relationships define him. let’s see now. the initial intense obsession with alastor, which had ONLY left him rejected and humiliated. helpless. and now val. i Assume vox enacts some physical violence on val, too, but something in his wording in the last installment. vox made the point to compare alastors straight up murder attempts to how val acts. i do not think vox does that with val, at least not in a trivial and common manner (he has said the vee’s have all killed e/o before). and when i said “sure he can act disgruntled and upset in the moment” in another ask, i MEANT that vox could break up with val for a couple days before crawling right back like nothing happened. but NO. NOT EVEN THAT. vox endures, and he ultimately does Nothing. NOTHING. and not even that, he is subjected to val breaking it off in a cyclic manner, for superficial or nonexistent issues. and then after a week val will call and vox will come crawling back like nothing happened, and the timer for 4 months begins again. through everything, EVERYTHING, vox really just seems… passive in the grand scheme of things. it’s paradoxical, because he’s also outrageously ambitious. i think that’s one of his core character traits, a constant greed and pursuit of it. that’s unequivocally true about him. but then we look at his love life, and what do we see? he lets the two men he loves basically do whatever they want with him. and he does it because he loves them, as well as being unable to admit he’s suffering. i will say, from now on it’s clear that his relationship with alastor is veering off this direction, but i want to STRESS that it was actually ALASTOR that cemented that. vox, in a spurt of emotion, let it slip out his history of domestic violence. then, promptly brushed it off to appease alastor. he set the terms of the deal, but he did it as a silly pinky promise. he, again, never allows himself to take it SERIOUSLY. because IF HE DOES!!!! then he needs to set boundaries AND ABIDE BY THEM!!!!!!!! AND WHAT THEN. WHAT THEN. THEN THE NEXT TIME VAL OR ALASTOR CROSS A LINE, HE NEEDS TO END IT. LEAVE. DO ANYTHING. AND HE IS NEVER GONNA DO THAT!!!!!!!! and here’s the real fucking kicker…… he expects them to. to keep hurting him. that’s the root of it. it’s not a real boundary, because it’s an inevitability. valentino and alastor will always want to hurt him, so a relationship without that violence is nonexistent. (that’s what he believes btw. hopefully not the truth). and so, vox has made his choice. he’s a businessman, and he has weighed the pros and cons. the violence and crossed boundaries he faces is outweighed by his love for them, and ultimately, that means they can do whatever they want to him. he is helpless.

(this was an entire rant, dear god. and of course the disclaimer that this is all my personal delusions, and not necessarily your take on vox in your series. i swear, i never know how these asks get so long. i promise i start of with a simple idea, then it all implodes into an essay. so sorry. love you.) -🌓

I have good news and bad news for you, anon!

The bad news is that I have misled you slightly: My actual full perspective of the Valentino and Vox on-and-off dating situation is that Vox dumps Valentino when he feels a sufficiently angry flavor of upset that Valentino refuses to listen to him on some things (usually not, actually, the violence, unless Val breaks something for Vox to be angry about); and Valentino dumps Vox when he wants Vox to annoyedly pretend not to moon after him for a week. In both situations, sometimes Vox ends up giving up the ghost and functionally crawling his way back to Val, but more commonly Valentino decides that he's had enough and rather handily seduces Vox into a round of what Vox promises himself is hate sex and not makeup sex but is inevitably always very sappy makeup sex with a side of lovebombing.

This is. Arguably not that different of a flavor from what you're describing, haha, especially since a lot of Vox managing to be the one to break things off at any given point in time hinges on him being able to frame his rationale as "anger" rather than "upset," the latter of which just gets brushed under the carpet of Emotions That Are Not Taken Seriously. He can act on a great many things if he justifies them as something he is right to be objective and angry over, including outright killing Valentino at least once at some point in the past, but anything that makes him feel vulnerable or, ah, let's deliberately and pointedly use the word hysterical, is a pre-existing internal struggle that Valentino knows how to manipulate to his advantage.

The good news is that this lovely analysis inspired me to almost completely rewrite a section of the next 666 fic that I'd been dissatisfied with. I initially wrote Vox as annoyed; what he needed to be was Very Stressed And Upset in a way that distinctly refused to dare stray into anger because the fundamental concern was about what Alastor wanted - just as you described, Vox fumbling his own distress with his learned helplessness when it comes to intimate relationships. Anyway, now I'm WAY happier with it! So thank you very much for that!

[katyspersonal]

Abyss Watchers headcanons

> Them all having white hair and red eyes are the signs of a lot of exposure to the Abyss, like how Four Kings got white hair, people in contact with any darkness commonly show red eyes etc. + Artorias ended up with these features too, and black hair on his helmet was his own hair cut to decorate it, not unlike Ciaran's braid. This never caused the panic though, it is no more than like getting tan under too much sun exposure. The corruption carries different effects than just a bit of a recolor!

> Wolf blood gave them minor feral features, like fangs and tufts of grey fur in the spots where humans normally have the most hair. no tails though

> @val-of-the-north actually counted the corpses using colorful stones drops to not get lost! So, the amount of Abyss Watchers is only barely above 100! This is very little for a legion, but they were pretty strong at their prime so the number never shifted too far from this number

> The ~100 consisted of mostly the first of them and those who joined in early. They were mostly a pack of these people, very rarely losing members and very rarely gaining those who would grow into "true wolves". Even out of those who were accepted as Abyss Watchers rather than Farron Followers, most didn't fully assimilate. They remained visibly 'distinguished' ones, like Hawkwood who never grew to their common 10'00''+ height and so

> These rare new members were referred to as 'cubs'. The 'distinguished' people like Hawkwood were continued to be called so even after they fully trained, although it then had more affectionate connotation than referring to their lack of experience

> They offer people who have shown bravery and are deemed to have true warrior spirit within to come with them, however, it is quite hard to refuse them. It is very easy to get roped into madness by them by simply allowing them to surround the person and speak of the importance of combating the horrors, how Artorias tooooootally once succeeded etc. They do not even understand the nearly-hypnotic effect they possess, but it is explained by the gravity of the Abyss itself surrounding them due to their job. It horrifies, however humans naturally possess the darkness that finds kinship in it, the wish to fight it endlessly IS just one of the ways it entices and corrupts. Those who managed to avoid getting seduced recruited by them after confrontation do recall that something felt very wrong and otherwordly for a short time.

> 'Semi-hivemind' is the best way I can describe them tbh. There is usually a member who is unmistakeably singled out and seemingly 'leading the pack', and if this particular person was lost, the next strongest guy would get singled out instinctively.

> "True" Abyss Watchers hardly, if ever, need to verbally communicate with each other, instead understanding instinctively. When they do need to talk with anyone it is this 'pack leader' doing the talking, usually with some others accompanying him and performing actions if needed without any signals to do so. The 'leader', also, mostly speaks for them all as they share their thoughts and feelings ("Don't try to lie to us, we could always smell it in your blood", "We all remember your bravery", "We could almost feel you wagging your tail, if you had one" etc).

> And they can, in fact, sense more than average person due to the wolf blood! Blood pressure, heartrate, whether someone started sweating and so on. It is very useful when someone is trying to hide having gotten touched by the Abyss (reasonably so, because it is instant death). Or if someone pretends they totally didn't encourage less-infected people to evacuate the corrupted land before Abyss Watchers came to obliterate it.

> The best way to stay alive after being targeted for "mercy-killing" by them is to run into the Church of the Deep. Abyss Watchers are sceptical about 'purifying' ones with minor corruption, but they cannot cross into this territory without permission for several reasons. And so far those whom Deacons "treated" really seemed to be alright. Abyss Watchers didn't believe in efficiency of this method though and had a feeling that sacred body of water could not fit in everyone's even natural darkness, let alone Abyssal one. They absolutely loathe and pity the place though, but all they really could do was to wait to obliterate it when it'd inevitably drown in filth. (the big "told you so" day that never became their to claim lol)

> Anyone who feels attracted to them is under no pressure to kiss and cuddle all of them they're welcomed to try though if they dare lol . They share their feelings, so getting close even with one makes others happy by effect. Though if such things occur, usually it is the 'pack's leader' who claims this experience, let alone the fact he is the only one who will actually talk. But even then, at least several others will linger around

> If one of the "true" Abyss Watchers, the 'identical' ones, gets somehow separated from the rest for significant time, they might slowly reclaim sense of identity and even remember their name. Addiction to fighting the Abyss can't be helped though, so they will yearn to forget the brief moments of peace and rejoin the group

[historicalvandal]

I'm so glad I found your blog! Can I please get some drabble? Proximus,Ceaser, the sunset trio (noa,soona, and anaya) and anyone else you want to add with a human reader that started following them one day. The human is very hard to catch if she doesn't want to be caught, talk, or be seen and will defend herself if cornered. Brings "gifts," bones, shiny rocks, or food if in a good mood. Hope you feel better! Saw your last post. Ignore if you need to, sending hugs 🤗

I'm glad you found me too! I'm excited to write for people! As you can possibly tell from all of my postings about PoTA rn haha- Ofc you can have some drabbles! I'll write a few drabbles for Koba, Caesar, Proximus and the sunset trio for ya!

Proximus Caesar ; The first time he met you was when he took a small trip with his guards, taking it upon himself to do more kingly activities, that being hunting, he'd have been possibly hunting for a new pet when he heard about a certain human causing some mayhem who just couldn't be captured at all and who was supposedly very aggressive once backed up into a corner, even Sylva had gotten hurt by such a tiny human, this of course piqued Proximus' interest, so when he enters the forest in which you usually roamed and came face to face with you, you displayed...curiosity, perhaps this wasn't the human he was told about? But he was wrong, because as soon as he had asked Sylva to capture you, you bit Sylva's hand causing the gorilla to lose a nice chunk of flesh from his hand, his blood covering your mouth, as you spit out the flesh you'd ripped out onto the muddy ground, eyes on Proximus as his gaze lingered on your face. You ended up following him out of curiosity, as he went through the forest, sticking to the shadows, but he could smell your scent in the air, and he more or less ordered Sylva and Lightning to leave him be for some time, once the two had left Proximus alone, he set up waiting patiently for you to come out of the brush and shrubbery of the forest, not expecting you to drop down from the high branches above him, nearly landing on the back of his horse behind him, stalking around him slowly, before holding out your closed hand, Proximus glanced at the hand offered to him and he held his hand out, palm open, you reached forward and dropped a bird skull into his hand followed by a shiny pebble, a small river stone, you looked up at Proximus and opened your mouth to speak, just one word, but it had him hooked, "King." To be fair with you, it wasn't necessarily the best idea to be hanging around Proximus, but you couldn't help yourself, following after him, his shadow, thought of as a pet, but you never seemed to mind, you'd bring him the shiny stones you'd find and of course small animal bones, but feathers were a favourite of yours to give him, he never seemed to mind having these small trinkets, he actually incorporated some of the shiny stones into his outfit, a few feathers weaved into an arm band, all in all he has a new pet and they're very much his favourite for all the small things they do, but mostly how they'll always bring something back when they go out at night.

Koba ; With Koba he'd hate that you follow him around, leave gifts in his nest, even bring him food, but he somewhat understands why you are combative, hate being cornered and refuse to talk when you feel overwhelmed, he'd have first met you in the red woods, on a hunting trip alone, hearing yelping and aggressive hooting, he'd be under the impression an ape had gotten themselves lost and in danger, possibly going to help and finding you facing off against a predator bigger then you, then he wouldn't want to help, but as soon as you notice him you had already used your teeth and bare hands to beat the predator bloody, vanishing up into a tree quickly and out of sight after a staring match between you two. However Koba runs into you more and more, and slowly gets used to seeing you, what he doesn't get used to is you following him back to the colony, he hadn't wanted you to follow or even be accepted into the colony, but Caesar had welcomed you upon the insistence of some apes who had seen you driving predators away from the colony, once accepted you choose to follow Koba, he'd been more or less aggressive and mean to you, but you still followed and soon he got used to calling you shadow other then human, you start leaving river stones in his nest, birds you'd practically mauled to death as a food type gift and you even left ripped up cloth to make his nest more comfortable, he'd catch you one night nudging a necklace you'd made with two other female apes into his nest, nearest to some pelts you had acquired, then he didn't have the heart nor anger to drive you off, and you ended up sleeping beside his nest that night, now he wears the necklace.

Caesar ; He first came into contact with you when you wandered unknowingly into ape territory, you had ran right into the middle of Malcolm and his team first being there in the red woods, and had even bitten Carver in attempts of stopping him from killing Ash and Blue eyes, causing the colony to be alerted to the sounds of shouting and when Ash had been shot, Caesar had heard of a human living nearby, had heard of how aggressive they had been to many others, mainly to humans, but hadn't moved to do anything against the feral human in the forest, since they usually kept predators and other humans at bay, so in thanks for you driving off Malcolm's group, and saving Ash and Blue eyes from being hurt further, also upon the good word both young teens had put in for you and from Rocket himself, he accepted you into the colony, you integrated well at first but never spoke much, always sticking to Caesar's side whenever permitted to do so. Like Koba he'd notice that things were being left at his nest, at some point even a dead buck had ended up near his nest, you take to leaving things you make so he can wear them, he notices your craftsmanship and wears the band you had made that would hook around his arm, the necklace you had made proudly displayed, set with beads and small river stones and a lot of feathers, you even taking to wearing a band around your own bicep and a simpler version of the necklace.

The sunset trio ; The three had accidentally run into you on their first meeting, noticing you as the echo who had been sneaking around the clan and stealing food, Noa had been the one to notice you'd been doing it because you were injured at the time, still it somewhat frustrated the three, they ran into you out in the forest when they were berry picking, you peeked out of the bushes, the thorns from the blackberry bush ripping into your skin and tangled in your hair, Soona had been the first to reach out, and you seemingly were fine with it despite them all hearing stories of your penchant to bite, the three managed to get you untangled, not even saying thank you, you rushed off into the shrubbery, swinging up into the trees with practised perfection, vanishing from view, or so they thought, you followed them above, staying a few paces behind, they caught sight of you again once you had gotten to the natural edge of the forest, hopping from the trees to stand and watch them, this time Anaya was the one to reach out to you, joined by Soona and slowly joined by Noa, they held out their hands with the want to at least bring you to a healer to get your wounds seen too, and you reached out too, speaking to them, voice ragged from going without use for some time, "Hurt..Help- please" Once integrated into the clan you opened up slowly, spending more and more time with the trio, taking to making necklaces, bracelets, arm bands, satchels too, all things learned from Noa's mother, you'd nonchalantly leave gifts in their nests, only growing closer as they started to make gifts in return for you. Okayyy! I have finished these drabbles- I hope these are okay! and hope they bring a smile to your face, sorry for taking a hot second to write this all out! Thanks for the request! <33

[atrociousgargamelitis]

I may or may not be writing Staticmoth smut. This may or may not be what my life has come to. I've made my peace with it

[queerpyracy]

i don't see anybody talking about this but i just wanted to say i think it's cool and neat how the disinformation saint who can literally rewrite reality isn't staying within the control of her creators. good thing that doesn't reflect anything real!

[dont-f-with-moogles]

Hi Terra Darling ❤️

Festive fic request with prompt number 6 "family invited an old crush/first love to a dinner party" for Levihan

My headcanons for this prompt:

Hange or Hange's family invites Zeke to a dinner party & Levi is far from happy OR fed up by Levi being single for a long time, Kuchel invites Hange to a dinner party OR Levi or Hange or their family invites an old crush (Zeke/Erwin/Petra, pick one) & it turns out they both used to date him/her lol OR you come up with your own because it will be amazing whatever you decide!!

Happy holidays 🎄❄️

Now or Never (Part 2) Characters: Levi x Petra; Levi x Hange; Mike x Nanaba Word Count: 2188 words

The dining room lay almost bare. No photographs adorned the walls; their ornaments were still wrapped in paper, stored in boxes upstairs. Even the low, wooden dining table didn’t quite suit this new room.  As he sipped his wine Levi considered how it had once sat in Mike and Nanaba’s old flat, centrally occupying the square-shaped space. The table still proudly displayed the tiny tree which Hange had bought for the couple as a flat-warming present over a year ago. Of course, they had never planned to live there forever. This new dining room was longer and in want of furniture to fit it. Its walls were a pale, non offensive shade of magnolia - the exact choice of homeowners intending to cover over the marks - the mistakes - they had once made before moving on. Mike was pouring refills into their glasses. Levi placed a hand over his whilst, beside him, Petra quietly accepted.

“Come on…” Mike urged, “you’re getting the train back right?”

“I’ll take a tea instead.”

“We’ll put the kettle on after dinner.”

Reluctantly, he removed his hand.

“This it then?” Levi’s eyes shifted to the empty seat beside Mike. Of course, if they had been expecting more than two guests, then there would be a fifth floor cushion set out. Despite his uncertainty, Levi’s shoulders relaxed a little. He had experienced the same gnawing sensation when he and Petra had arrived at their house. Removing their shoes at the door, Levi had glanced down to see several discarded pairs beside theirs. He had assumed that someone had arrived before them, only to discover that they were the first.

“Yeah,” Mike replied, “Hange got caught up with an assignment as usual. Something about a deadline.” 

Levi exhaled through his nose. He doubted that very much.

His hand brushed Petra’s shoulder with renewed reassurance as Nanaba appeared in the doorway. The fragrant scent of spices seemed to waft after her.

“The rice will be done in five minutes,” she announced. “Hope you guys are hungry!” “Can’t wait,” Levi commented, “... and nice place you’ve got here. What’s it like living somewhere with two floors?”

“Ah you know, it’s better than being cooped up in the flat.” Nanaba shared a sentimental glance with Mike. “We’ll miss it… but this is better. Even if we’ve got some decorating to do!”

She smiled over at Petra, who was nodding along politely despite not having been part of this previous era… an era of small apartments, of Mike and Nanaba as university graduates… of Levi and… Hange.

“So, how was your holiday? Where did you say you-” Nanaba frowned, reaching over to grab her phone from the side table. “Sorry - hold that thought. Hello?” 

“It was so beautiful…. and just nice to spend time with family you know?” Petra continued to address Mike in Nanaba’s absence. “I’m sorry that I missed out on your New Year’s party though! I heard it was a fun night…”

Levi took a long sip of his wine.

“I don’t know if you’d call it much of a party,” Mike chuckled, “Nana and I were asleep just after midnight so we missed the excitement… guess you’ll have to ask Levi.”

“Hange’s outside!” Nanaba reappeared just as Levi knocked his glass sharply against the table. “Apparently they made their deadline after all.”

There came the sound of a door closing, followed by footsteps in the hall. Petra gave Levi’s arm a little squeeze. He smiled at her in response, though with a warmth which did not quite reach his eyes.

Voices echoed outside; Hange fawning over the staircase and laughing with Nanaba about the previous owner’s choice of carpet. Levi’s jaw set. Then, both of them emerged in the doorway.

“Evening!” Hange beamed around at them. Briefly, their eyes met Levi’s before they glanced away. “Sorry for almost flaking!”

“Why quit the habit of a lifetime?” Mike teased. Levi reached for his wine again. His mouth felt parched; his tongue lay heavy and useless. He craved water - something hydrating - rather than more alcohol.

“Nice to see you again Petra.” Hange gave a little bow of their head as Nanaba dragged another floor seat over to the table. “Heard you’ve just come back from your travels! Was it a good trip?”

“Oh yes, it was so beautiful and relaxing. The new year is the best time to go…”

Levi listened intently to Petra’s story for a second time, refusing to allow his eyes to stray from her face. 

“...but it’s a shame I couldn’t spend New Year’s with you guys.”

Casually, Hange picked up the glass of wine which Mike had just poured. 

“Oh you know, it was a quiet one in the end. Nothing much happened.”

Levi stared at them, utterly astounded by their nonchalance on the subject. 

“Mike said you were all asleep just after midnight!”

“Well, Levi and Hange were up, weren’t you? Mike said he heard you both-” Nanaba walked in with a pot of steaming rice, just as Levi’s floor seat lurched out.

“Whoa!” Petra turned to her left. “Levi, what’s the hurry?”

“Seat got caught on the rug,” he lied. His eyes flew to Hange’s face who appeared quite composed by comparison. They blew out a little sigh as they lifted their glass again.

Nanaba set down the pot of rice. “No jogging the table. I’ve slaved away at this!”

Mike raised his eyebrows as Nanaba began serving heaped spoons onto plates. Petra received hers gratefully. Levi was just thankful to have something to occupy his hands.

“This smells amazing…” Hange praised her. “I love curry rice!”

“So… you had a late night, huh Levi?” Not to be deterred, Petra had rerouted from Hange’s interjection to their earlier conversation. She grinned at Levi expectantly over her plate of food. As he opened his mouth to explain, Mike cut in with a rumble of low laughter.

“Oh yeah… took him years but he finally got Hange where he’d always wanted them.”

Levi dropped his plate on the table, spilling rice onto its wooden surface

“Yeah…” Mike continued as Petra’s head whipped round, “...never thought we’d see the day, but there the two of them were, getting busy-”

Horrified, Levi willed Petra to look away from him as he frantically tried to scrape up rice grains from the wooden tabletop. He could feel her eyes on him; the more she stared, the more the tips of his ears burned. 

“- at the sink.” Mike took a large spoonful of rice and curry, savouring its flavour alongside his own unendurable comedy. “Who would have thought you’d finally get Hange to wash a plate?”

Hange’s forced laugh was lost in the more genuine giggles from Nanaba and Petra. Although the threat which had been silently hanging over Levi had not fallen yet, he could still feel it swaying over his head. He set his spoon down on the side of his plate and let his trembling hand fall into his lap. 

“...yeah, I heard you doing the dishes,” Mike explained as the laughter around the table died away, “...at like, four in the morning.”

“Well, a little cleaning up is the least you guys could do, seeing as you all insisted on staying at my place,” Levi muttered bitterly.

“You know we appreciated you sharing your floor with us!” Nanaba sighed, widening her eyes.

“...and some of us even got to share your bed,” Mike teased Levi again with a hearty wink.

“Gunther,” Levi told Petra automatically.  He reached for his wine again. By this point, he was going to need several refills to endure the rest of the evening.

“...I’m guessing he wasn’t who you really wanted sleeping next to you that night… huh, Levi?” Nanaba joined in, much to Petra’s delighted ‘shh-ing!’

Levi waved away their jokes again, his mouth twisted as though he was being forced to chew on tiny white grubs rather than rice. As he lifted his head he caught Hange’s eye again… and held their look. 

This was dangerous. 

That same rising dread intensified; remained suspended over Levi as he continued doggedly through one of the most excruciating dinners of his life. And yet, there was something which threatened to consume him whole; a feeling caught halfway between fear and fascination. Like oil and water, his conflicted emotions lay beside one another; equal parts danger and desire. They could never be reconciled, but only hold firmer in the presence of one another. Ever since New Year’s, something had started to take form… something that any and all other distractions hadn’t managed to douse…

Levi felt the brush of gentle fingers on his wrist. Petra was smiling at him. He closed his hand over hers, watching as their fingers lay entwined upon his knee. He couldn’t look at Hange again.

“What was it you said that night, Levi?” Nanaba continued, “just this once, then then never again?”

Levi’s thumb stroked over Petra’s knuckles as his mind drifted back to that night. He didn’t want to remember the warmth of the blanket enclosed around his body and Hange’s. He didn’t want to breathe in their scent; to feel the heat lifting from their cheeks; to have his throat run dry as they drew towards him…

“Levi, we can sleep here and never talk about this again. Or…”

Back in the present, Levi squeezed Petra’s hand.

“And I meant it…” he managed huskily, “...you guys can stay at a hotel next time.”

In part it was due to his own habit, but also out of a desire to extract himself from the table, as Levi took up their empty plates. He carried the dishes out to the kitchen and set them beside the sink. For a moment he gazed through their kitchen window at the view of Mike and Nanaba’s new neighbourhood. Rows of detached, two-storey houses stood adorned with gleaming windows and wooden balconies. The pair of them had taken the next step of their journey… their wedding was to follow in a few months…

Behind him there came the tinkling of glass and the sound of a door closing. Levi glanced over his shoulder.

“Um… just getting more wine.” Hange lifted the bottle they had taken from the fridge. Levi uttered a throaty sound halfway between a cough and a derisive snort.

“Sure as fuck you weren’t coming to wash these up…” Levi glowered at them until Hange took a step closer. They set their glass down beside Levi’s stack of plates. Through the open door and across the hall they could both hear the chatter of the other guests.

Levi turned away and began to run the water. Behind, Hange poured a little more wine into their glass. He couldn’t help but turn his head again. Hange was checking the label as they set the bottle down. With a sigh Levi lifted a plate and sank it into the dishwater, missing Hange’s eyes as they moved over him.

“Levi… do you want…”

He shifted around again to look at them. His mouth dried up before he could speak. He took in Hange’s broad shoulders beneath their white shirt; the deep, rich brown of their imploring eyes… There was always something so earnest, so fearless in their expression.

Levi’s eyes remained upon their face.

“...I’ll leave the bottle here.” They turned to leave the room, but stopped after taking a step. When they spoke again, their tone was low, conspiratorial.

“You know I won’t say anything, right…?” 

Levi felt a ripple of tension travel down his arms. His hand seized up; the brush he was holding clattered onto the kitchen floor.

“Anyway, nothing happened that night…” Hange gave a little laugh without a trace of humour in it, “...after all, you made it pretty clear what you wanted.”

Slowly, they began to approach him.

“Just like I have to… right now.” Hange was smiling at him, a gentle blush dusting their cheeks. “You know when it’s your shot right? Now or never…”

The air itself lay thick and heavy. Levi was rooted to the spot, his mind clouded with them as they took another step. Oil and water. They couldn’t-  Petra was seated in the next room, laughing with their friends.

Again, he remembered the blanket that had embraced them as they lay together on his couch. Levi could feel their warm breath on his mouth. It was just the two of them under night’s black canopy, threaded with the lights of a million stars. Whilst the rest of the world had slept, they had lain so closely together… they had almost…

“So Levi…” 

Hange’s lip trembled before their jaw set. Behind their glasses, their eyes were glazed with a love so profound that it took Levi’s breath away. 

“If I told you now that… despite it all… bad timing, lack of communication, people and work and life getting in the way… despite my initial hypothesis and all the test runs in my head… my findings are still the same.”

Hange took a shuddering breath.

“You are all I ever wanted. That’s… what I’ve decided.”

He felt their fingers trace his shirt sleeve.

“...what about you, Levi?”

Part 1: Now or Never (NSFW)

[haliaiii]

Val’s Hover bike! (oc)

[valentin-is-golden]

I can finally get around to annotating Sayers' translation of Inferno :)

[urproblematicfav-arsonk]

I feel like "ooooooohh, I'm gonna tell on you!!" is a underappreciated radiodust dynamic