#vent

[sad-leon]

what if i gave rise leo BPD...

his anger manifests in the form of self-sabotage and self harm. he asks donnie to sound proof his room when they get to the new lair so he can wreck it without concerning everyone else. before that he'd sneak to the surface and wreck an already messy alleyway

his self harm is recklessness. he gets hurt in fights as much as he can and still get away with just a "please be more careful" lecture from raph

speaking of raph, his oldest brother is his favorite person. so when raph starts to brush him to the side and distrust him, he doesnt take it well. when he does something to impress raph and all he gets is "finally..." thats when he disappears for hours and comes back home with sore arms and usually some scrapes and many bruises

he becomes a medic because they can't ignore him if he helps them. plus he can get better at hiding his breakdowns if he can take care of his own injuries

he wants to be in the spotlight so bad until the spotlight shines on him and suddenly his skin fits wrong

splinter and raph brush it off as teenage hormones. donnie shuts it out. mikey is the first person to realize leo's moods aren't normal, but he doesnt want to confront the fact the bpd comes from trauma, so he tries to support leo as best he can

april doesnt realize how much leo's mood shifts until she spends a night in the lair and realizes that leo isn't as hyper as he presents himself. he tries to mask, but he's too tired and the sudden silence from leo throws april off. it creates a rift between them. even when leo is happier around april, she knows somethings wrong- knows its not quite as genuine as she thought.

she spends more time around donnie than leo and leo thinks its for the best. eventually all his brothers- all his family prefer spending time with someone thats not him. he tells himself its for the better- the less time they spend around him, the less likely he'll be upset around them and end up making them upset

leo convinces himself he's meant to be alone and puts his all into being the team medic and spends the rest of his time alone and dissociating. he hates being the leader- having everyones eyes on him all the time. watching him. waiting for him to mess up- to act out- to prove they were right not to trust him

.... idk.. just a thought

[slasherstation]

One thing I’ll say about the hate for Kabru and Toshiro is how I feel hurt by it not as a poc but as someone who has the same traits as them. I hate that people are able to understand that Laios can’t read the room but have a hard time understanding why Toshiro didn’t communicate/validate only Laios feelings and not Toshiro’s. Ofc he should have and that’s a flaw of his character. But I just feel so awful seeing people not understanding that if Toshiro was able to communicate he would have. I’m the same way. I’m a pushover, I let people cross my boundaries and I struggle with communicating my feelings.

Like imagine relating to Toshiro AND Laios. I’ve had someone who didn’t like me and said something behind my back treat me as if we were friends. And I’ve struggled to be open about my feelings when people bothered me causing me to snap and seem mean/rude.

The Toshiro hate is definitely valid and completely understandable especially as an autistic person who’s dealt with what Laios is going through. But the way people speak about Toshiro just makes me feel also awful and uncomfortable

[a-small-writer-in-a-big-world]

I don’t need male validation. I grew out of wanting it a long long time ago

But there is something about the way that never being picked, never being wanted, never being pursued makes me feel so empty

[tnykitti]

Nienawidze mojego ojca tak bardzo go kurwa nienawidze wez sie w koncu zapierdol albo zacpaj na smierc mam cie dosc czemu mama wybrala ciebie? nie zasluzyles na nia jebany alkocholiku

[jamieenthusiast]

could he really

[cupcakeshakesnake]

Oh to drag your beloved children to the slaughterhouse every week

(The professor looks at our hard work and verbally rips it to shreds)

[taralen]

[what do you mean]? [i wonder!]

LOSING MY @#()$. PSYCHOSIS VENT.

[mrghostrat]

i’m not sure if someone already asked you this, but now that you posted flawless, you’ll finish atws? or you’ll start posting the editor au? so sorry if you answered this question before

yea i wanna focus on atws next because its been sitting there for too long. editor au is still in progress, much longer to go than flawless, and i might not even write it privately until i have the next chapter of atws done

but fuuuuck man, just to vent for a minute

i’m trying so hard and nothing is killing my motivation more than this fic. i can only ever write like 50 words at a time, and it’s pulling teeth for every letter. flow doesn’t exist. even after editing down this scene, or trying to skip past it and write the funner bits that come later. i think my inspiration is just dead for this world and it’s gonna take a playlist or multiple rereads or some other kind of external trigger to get me in the mood for it again.

i’m upset that i’m struggling with this world, but it’s also frustrating that of course it’s the one that’s everyone else’s favourite 🫠

i don’t think it’s demand avoidance because i’ve had so many days where i think about it and get myself amped up like yEAHH gonna write streamers today!! and then i open my doc, fully medicated and all, and everything dies on my fingers.

[insignificantfailure]

I want to cut my body head to toe until it's unrecognisable

[koihanwrites]

[slasherstation]

I’ll be honest. Dungeon meshi has slightly or very much been ruined for me by fans and I think I’ll have trouble seeing the series the same way :(

Like my experience has been so frustrating. Not even just with the racism but just in general. I hate how this beautiful anime/manga just makes me uncomfortable and upset when I see it.

Ofc I still like it and will post about it. But the way I just feel uncomfortable thinking about certain stuff pertaining to it hurts.

[neytui]

Today's my birthday!!!! ✨✨

Some vent below

The past few months have been a complet mess for me. First on march, my great aunt who has been diagnosed with cancer for two years sadly passed away, this was no surprise for any of us so I was not as sad about it if I'm honest. A week before this my dad had an accident and broke his talon and had to have surgery, this was the same day my aunt passed. My dad is fine and has healed all good. Now recently, a month ago I think, my cousin, who's I have grown with, same age as me, went to same school and everything, was diagnosed with a tumor on her brain. Was about 8 cm long and was causing her really strong headaches, it needed to be extracted as soon as possible, but the operation was very expensive so our family need to collect money first. We finally met a doctor willing to do the surgery and she was operated the Thursday, I saw her yesterday and she's thankfully doing fine. While we were on this, I felt incredible sick one day while I was on college, to the point I couldn't talk anymore. I went to the neurologist and he told me to get some exams, he diagnosed with athipics migraines and since that day I've been feeling sick and sad, that was on the fifteen. I was really hoping to feel good on my birthday, but that doesn't seem to be the case. I'm writing this on the 27 so I hope I'm feeling better tomorrow on my birthday. Regardless I would still like to thank everyone who welcome me on this place, I really have enjoyed it. I'm really sorry I haven't been able to post anything in a while but with the family, health, college and commission matters it has been really hard.

I hope everyone is having a good day :)

[moodymisty]

Closing requests early because someone’s decided to be a little cunt and spam my ask box like they’re ordering at McDonald’s.

I am one person, and I'm already at my wits end with the UPDATE PLZ????? comments and the demanding ass requests. I am not a vending machine, and I'm this fucking close to just stopping requests for a longer amount of time, or just only allowing mutuals. And some of y’all fucking wonder why no one takes requests anymore.

[gendertroublemaker]

Well I just found out my mom is gonna kick me out in 6 months. And I’m unemployed. So that’s great news