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#very long post warning ( like seriously )
izzysarchivedblogs · 11 months
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When was the first EXACT moment Linda knew she was in love with Leonard?
@thefleetsfinest -> okay, so somewhere in my brain, this concept and idea of how to detail Linda's entire relationship with love and romantic relationships, and falling in love came about and it morphed from simply answering this answer to writing a drabble that is 13,393 words long. I hope this answers your question, Mel, and I hope you appreciate this! You inspire me a lot and thanks for letting me write this whacky thing; hope it doesn't beak tumblr.
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When had she fallen in love. . . . had it been with Steve? He was cute and a little plain. So, no, her first boyfriend wasn’t love. It was never gonna last, but she liked him. . . . what about with Jack? Oh, now there was someone that brought a smile and fondness in her eyes. That had a timer known from start to finish, but it was fun. Jack was good for the heart. . . . Stephen Strange came up in the blind spot and she should have known better. It wouldn’t last either, even with how that ended up. Why did it have to hurt. . . . Didn’t she get engaged? Well, yes, and she had loved him but not enough or perhaps she hadn’t been loved enough.
Somewhere, some psychologist, or pseudo-philosopher like her mother could dissect that relationship with a scalpel. Take out the lungs and liver, the problems and what good it was; look at the diseased heart, put in a jar and turn it for inspection, and call someone the fool. She hopes it was not her.
Now. . . . Leonard Mccoy. . . .
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TIME MOVES FORWARD
But first she has to call a friend or she can rent a room, it’s not like she’ll be here longer than a week anyways. After the call with headquarters, she was still cleared to be boarding and joining the crew of the USS-Enterprise returned to the port of San Francisco recently. Her head is level on her shoulders, angled forward and her eyes looking ahead. There is a clear thought in her mind, the new mission and while her heart. . . .
Well, there were two types of doctors the one who put away their feelings and those whose kept them. It was what the Chief Medical Officer aboard the USS-SOLACE had said once when addressing the medical staff as they came to find the outbreak was worst than they had expected and the virus was adapting already, mutated and the variant was not responding to what they had came prepared with.
There were two types of doctors, and those that kept their feelings were going to get sick. That was okay, that meant they would need time to breathe and tend to themselves while they were all swamped with more work than any of the nurses or doctors experienced during their residencies. Linda thought she was the one who kept her feelings, and now as she’s coming onto the Enterprise, heartbreak on her coattails, maybe she would need to put them away. Onto a shelf where she could take them down again when she was ready to take them out and feel them all again, when they were needed. She could be both types.
She was here now, on a new assignment that she had requested transfer to alternate ship and mission type than what the USS-SOLACE had to offer. She gave her all during the harrowing parts on the Solace, loved her work there and did great things for people in need. If she hadn’t done what she had done for love, than she would be back there on SOLACE with its new assignment and helping more people. Linda Carter was committed to path now, she could make commitments and now a new set of people needed her. Any ship of any size would need their doctors.
That was what she told herself, and when she was met face to face with her new CMO, she would say she was HAPPY to be here. Her hand makes contact with Leonard Mccoy’s, a smile before she even looks up into his face. Green gaze meets green gaze as her name falls from her lips, and there’s a beat. A pause where nothing leaves her throat, and it’s as good as the truth that would come from her at the time. ❝ It’s my pleasure. ❞ 
She was happy to be here, to get back to work and immerse herself back into a ship and its crew. Get to know what her duties would be, as she was specially trained in cardiology and cardiothoracic surgery, along with experience dealing with viral pandemics and emergency front line medicine now would always aid her, and familiarize herself with the staff and crew.
Linda wouldn’t need to think about a broken engagement or even speak of that. The ship wasn’t gaining one researcher, Dr. Michelis, but his loss would not be missed. Her hand is still held in Leonard’s, perhaps moments held too long as her lips only pull tighter into a grin, ❝ Well, I am an open book ⸻ don’t be a stranger, we’ll work best if we work as a team and act like friends. ❞   She had meant that, Linda would humor the Chief with any questions and talk in extensive detail about her experience as Doctor Carter and even indulge in details about her father and his work.
Such philosophy would carry over to the whole of the staff here; the nurses, researchers, other doctors, and assisstants all here to maintain the health of a crew over four hundred. They would be her team, and they would act as friends. It would be a different place, a new pace, one which she would have thought had been better for Marshall. . . . now it was hers, all hers ALONE to experience. . . .
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FLASH BACK
Out, get out, she has to leave the room. She looks to the Chief, and she had allowed for Linda to excuse herself. PATIENTS DYING? She got used to that; she has known death and looked in its face, held its hand as many would pass on when medicine failed them or when it was their time. Coming here and dealing with the crisis, they all faced massive losses and stood in death’s shadow as they worked tirelessly to fight against it.
It had to take one more before they could figure it out, didn’t it? DEFEATED, TIRED. Her friend, had been her best friend, who laughed with her and encouraged her in their personal lives as. . . . she wouldn’t even be dating Marshall if not for Georgie. She now lay in a hospital bed, dying. That was where Georgie had been the past few weeks, she knows now. EVERY FIBER OF HER FEELS WRECKED.
Linda had promised that tonight would be for Marshall but how could she give herself to him after the news? She wants to scream at Georgie, and then at one of the ship’s psychologists and demand they evaluate her. She can’t be sound mind for rejecting any medical care. She’s just overworked like they all have been, this situation was worse than they had expected. They had needed support, and the masses, the numbers of this outbreak had added an extra digit and it got onto the SOLACE and into its crew. Deaths were coming personally now. Unfortunately for Linda, it was now claiming Georgie and she wanted to swiftly decline, no medicine.
Marshall would understand her skipping a dinner. Would. Should, they loved each other, it should be simple. She’s at his door and entering freely. It’s cold in the room, and he fixes her with a hurt gaze. ❝ Dearest ⸻ ❞  They speak at the same time, and things wither between them in that very moment. He was angry with her, YOU JUST CAN’T PUT ASIDE YOURSELF FOR ONE NIGHT.
❝ My friend is dying! Georgie! ❞ Oh, there’s that eyeroll she despises so much, and all her tears dry up in an instant. She marches with pain in every step further into the apartment, she’s been on her feet this entire week and then the Chief’s telling her about how Georgie’s joined the quarantined and she was going to be dying. She knows he never cared for Georgie, and that was fine even though they wouldn’t be dating without her friend.
PEOPLE DIE, LINDA. ⸻ WE TALKED ABOUT THIS. YOU CAN’T PUT YOUR ONE OTHER PERSON IN FRONT ONCE?
❝ HA! ❞ She bites bitterly, and that’s how it starts. All her emotions torn up, put to tatters and shreds, and he has to push her over the brink. Linda stays on her feet, and she yells right back at him for his snap.
Georgie said they went together because they went match for match. Was this what you were meaning about us, Georgie? She would be suiting up tomorrow to see her in her sorry state.  Ask her why she was making this choice, come to her with her voice sore from yelling it out, ending this relationship from the looks of it.
❝ You are really going to start this right now? People die, but this is Georgie! Losing her fucking life, so of course I wasn’t going to be here with you tonight. Fight me! I know you don’t give a damn about her! But here’s where I thought you gave a damn about me! You know what ⸻ ❞
I DO CARE, BUT DO YOU? ⸻ DON’T MAKE THIS DIFFICULT, LINDA ! YOU HEAR YOURSELF?
She’s losing her friend and she’s losing her boyfriend, oh how she would like for this year to be over with already. Her shoes are coming off, being kicked across the FLOOR, because she’ll be damned if he makes her leave this room when she was whittled to nothing today. Her feet stomp on the FLOOR when she goes for the next round of cutting thorny words. God, everything hurts.  
The argument tears on for hours, raising their voices, back and forth; and she’s surprised they haven’t been reported or dragged out. SHE DOESN’T DO THIS. Linda doesn’t yell in arguments, she argues but she controls herself and Marshall had to chose today of all days to. . . . make her into a woman of hysterics.
TONIGHT, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE ENGAGED.
❝ Don’t. Don’t. ❞ Her hand goes up, just to signal for him to go away and leave her alone. There are her tears again, and Linda wants to fall apart; lay in bed and just be an abyss of a person right now, because she was done with everything. At her limits, then torn completely down until she felt like nothing; not enough. Not enough at all. Taken lower than that.
He does it, the whole speech about her and their relationship, gets on one knee and takes her hand, forces her to stay and have her hand held. Tells her that he’ll be here when she loses Georgie, she’s going to need someone. He even has a ring, and she can’t look at him. She can’t listen to him, be told what was supposed to happen and what she should do. Her heart is pounding, hurting, she feels ill. ❝ Dammit, Marshall. ❞ Linda wants to throw up.
She’s going to pull the ring off, drop it and let it fall to the ground. Where does she go from here? ❝ I’m going to go see Georgie. ❞ Where does she go after that?  
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TIME MOVES FORWARD
The first few months aboard were going smoothly; there were those moments when the medical bay would be busy and others when she could breathe. One week the replicators were malfunctioning and the food that was produced had left half the ship with food poisoning. It was immediately fixed, but the problem wasn’t known until several hours later after it had been used all day. It was in a moment like that as she’s moving through the room where she feels a little lonely despite everyone around her, like she needs a breath, and she pauses in a moment to take that breath that she hadn’t realized how badly she had needed that.
Her thoughts interrupted when the Chief pulls her attention, catching her taking that breath and she hadn’t even realized she had closed her eyes until she has to open them to look at Dr Mccoy. Greens meets greens, and she smiles to him. ❝ You don’t ever do that, Chief? Take a moment and breathe it all in? Let yourself just get lost in the room ⸻ ❞ Her hand goes to touch his arm, than to his hand and redirects his hand to his stomach. Mimics herself the same gesture, hand to her stomach and closes her eyes again. ❝ Try it, eyes close; breath and smell the room, breath again and just push yourself. Be the room, and it helps sometimes. ❞
Chief Mccoy’s been excellent to work with, and they’ve hit it off; both of them possibly taking what Linda had said to him when they met to heart. They work as a team and act as friends. She thinks maybe that was just his personality as well, to get along. He’s grumpy, in a way that makes her roll eyes with a smile; laugh over the things he says and sometimes if she didn’t have tight control on her tongue she would match back in wit with his sarcastic comments. Leonard tells her that’s part of his Southern charm, to which she had scoffed and admitted to having no idea about that at all. ❝ Not an Earth girl; so as far as I know you’re making that up. ❞  If it offends him, she laughs.
It felt good to have a friend again. He was one of her first ones here besides a few of the nurses aboard. They would have lunch together sometimes. He’s complaining about his headaches to which she knows now means two of bridge crew men of whom he’s known since the academy. They were talking about the second, Clint right now, and Linda tell him that she can handle Clint just fine. ❝ Honestly, I like him; reminds me of my brother Tag. ❞
They got into the habit of being around each other, they worked well and were fast friends, lunches together unless the Chief was called off with the bridge crew. Linda should know better, not after all the heartache she knows, but her eyes still follow him, watch and stare for a moment. Just a moment before she’s smiling back to her table mates. She does that, she knows, but it has to be nothing. There was still that gaping empty feeling left in her chest when she marched out of Marshall’s apartment. BUT Linda has eyes, and she sees him, Leonard Mccoy. His southern charm might be something after all. Except she needed it to be nothing.
Part of their friendship, their thing, comes in the form of sitting in his office on the floor together. Today, he’s inviting her in because she’s been struggling all day. Tired from the work, and then there’s her heartbreak, memories coming back to her. She hadn’t intended on tearing up in his office, sitting in front of his couch and telling him about Georgie. ❝ I never had a best friend quite like her, and I had only known her since Starfleet Academy ⸻ She could make an entire room brighten up, smile and laugh even the saddest state of that room. We needed, my god, that ship and everyone needed her. I need her. I wished I had met her sooner in life. God, Leonard, I miss her, I ⸻  I know she would tell me now, Carter, you can’t go fussing about me. Go make friends, live life, get married, help people dammit. Put yourself out there on the god-fucking star map. Excuse my French. ❞ She hadn’t even realized she had called him Leonard, but when they were in here, just being friends who listened to each other than why wouldn’t they use their names?
She hasn’t talked about Georgie, at all, not in a while. Linda had put all her feelings in jars on the shelf, and now she’s opening them with Leonard. It messes with her heart a little, trusting him and leaning into him as she does, processes again a loss she hadn’t been over thinking about.
There’s more than just Georgie feelings being felt there; after all, her best friend had been responsible for her dating her ex-fiancé. They talk for about her previous ship, about Georgie a lot more, and Marshall comes up which he asks about Dr Michelis because he was supposed to be aboard as well, and with her. She’s curt about him, that they had been together as that is what would have been on their transfer documents, a couple. It’s over, all over now, and here she was. ❝ I am glad to be on this ship, and I hope the ship is glad I am here as well, Chief. ❞ Is it, are you, her eyes wanting to ask.
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FLASH BACK
DARK EYES, ALMOST LIKE VOIDS, HOVER OVER HER. A part of her wants to shove his face aside, but another part of her shivers as Jack’s lips part in that smile that he’s always got on. Wants those lips to be all over her. Her hand does go up to his face, he is turning his head and kissing at her thumb. WE ARE GONNA BE LATE. Yeah, she definitely wanted to shove at his face now, but she doesn’t.
❝ And whose fault would that be, Jack Tryon? ❞ She quips, and maybe her hands are dragging down to his chest because he was hers for the taking; and Linda thinks he was being ridiculous.  WELL, YOURS. ❝ Well, I wasn’t going to have you meet my parents. ❞ She admits to him honestly, with a smile and there’s no wound on his face to that.
They knew what this was. She was in her residency, in the same place that she had always been, and he was a ship doctor, always on the move except when the ship was currently dry docked with about fifty some crew working on this or that. It would be like that for three months, then it would be leaving again, and that is JACK came into the bar she was at one night.
He thought he was a hot shot, and they fell into bed without much work needed. Really, she had been stressed because her attending had been pulling her hairs out all week over everything. He was easy, and Linda just needed the stress relief. Jack’s all charm, and a little older, and she thinks that being on a ship for so long has led him to lose his mind because he asks to be hers for a limited time. She really thinks that he did lose it, but then she must be losing her mind too when he’s showing up everyday to pick her up, get a drink, and only some nights follow her home. Pretend like he’s the perfect boyfriend, and don’t you still have work yourself mister, she asks.
Linda definitely knows that she must have been insane as well to agree to whatever this was between them. One day, Jack points out that the natural thing for a couple as involved in them was to introduce him to her parents. ❝ And what about yours? ❞ He takes the two plants in the room, and holds them up, gives them little voices to his parents.
Jack was a good laugh; and she does introduce him to her parents. It’s a laugh, with her mother asking her father if he could perform a wellness check on their daughter to be so fast with him and she doesn’t know a thing about him. Tag’s the one who points out, and God the things that kid says sometimes, that she’s advertising her sex toy. What’s a seventeen-year-old know about that?
Jack was a nightmare after hearing that, they don’t even get into doing anything that night because she can’t stop laughing. Making fun of what Taggart said, and all she thinks is Jack’s a good friend. Great for a laugh, but they never talked about anything serious. She needed that if they were going to be real.
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TIME MOVES FORWARD
Growing older, birthdays didn’t feel as though they had mattered much. They never really had, when there was always more on her plate. That wasn’t to say that Linda wasn’t proud of her age, that she didn’t wear the lines that would form on her face as she showed her maturity with pride. She did. Forty was the next threshold in her life to cross. She’s made herself comfortable on the ship over these ten months. It was starting to feel like her place that she was meant to be, faces becoming recognizable. It was a marvel to simply be tending to people, to be their doctor, familiar and kind. The Enterprise became home, took her on this journey, to new and unknown places with good people. It’s exciting, and its different work than the Solace but she was liking all the same.
There’s someone that comes to mind these past few days that gives her an old feeling of a good friend, of a best friend. He’s got green eyes, tall, sarcastic wit, and Southern charm. The Chief Medical Officer has become what Linda would say is her best friend, and she would know what one of those felt like from Georgie and even a little bit from Jack. Leonard’s something else, and what was she to do about the other feeling? They fall into place, work side by side well together, share odd hour chats in his office. Although he’s been a terrible influence on her own bedside manners, especially when Clint’s come in to make his wisecracks, she’ll snip right back like Leonard does or visibly roll her eyes at him.
Which if she already feels this way about him, why wouldn’t she feel more? Shouldn’t she have seen it coming that her friend, who could look at a file and see when her birthday was, make a big deal about it. It’s what for friends were for, would do, they were just friends, to make each other feel special and take care of each other. So why did it throw her heart for skipped beat when he surprises her for her fortieth birthday.
You are not going to cry, Carter, put those feelings back on the shelf. Linda’s all smiles at the room of people, through the festivities and being celebrated which feels different than the last celebrations had without her best friend, Georgie; but maybe Leonard’s been left for her to be that her best friend now. It’s sweet to do any of this, when she would have settled just fine for well wishes and nothing more. Yet he went and did this, and she bickers with him at the end of the party about going to bed. As it becomes just the two of there, Linda notices something about that, about him, then his green eyes, and his smile.
Leonard’s telling her to go enjoy a good night of rest after her birthday party. That shouldn’t make her tear up, and maybe one of jars had come off the shelf without meaning to. Her feelings were being had and felt, and he only makes it worse on her heart because he had to be sincere, worried at the tears. ❝ I ⸻ No, I’m amazing, this was. . . . you’re, thank you so much for this, and being my friend. ❞ My best friend, and she knows that looking at him that she’s let her heart get away from her again. Should have kept it in its jar, left it to the highest shelf, because she can’t go crushing on (falling for) her superior officer, for another doctor when she’s. . . . ❝ Turn in early too for once, Mccoy! That’s my birthday wish. ❞
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FLASH BACK
Her finger moves in a slow circle over a bare chest, and she had gotten into this habit. Linda was focused on her courses at the Starfleet Academy and maybe she had been foolish to think that Jack would show up again out of the blue after years. They hadn’t been anything, but he had left her thinking and now here she was late night with another doctor. He outranks her, technically an authority on her but not for another two years would they be working with each other.
A finger goes up her back, shiver along her spine, and she doesn’t even know what she likes about him. He’s arrogant. She rejected him three times, but then the fourth time he asks, she says once. Linda rejects his offers and attempts at guidance in all things Starfleet. This non-relationship, all it really was Linda being shown around San Francisco and sleeping with him. That ONCE was eight months ago now. ❝ You shouldn’t lie to a doctor. ❞ She could tell that there was something on his mind, that he was lying about being absolutely fine.
They talk in soft voices, and she doesn’t kiss him when they part in bed. It’s how they were, he’s dry and dark, and she’s got Starfleet dreams in front of her. They aren’t so affectionate with each other. She had her life to be focusing on, and so she gets up, to dress herself and get back to her roommate.
GET A DRESS AND JOIN ME TONIGHT
❝ You want to show off your new girlfriend? ❞  She asks tying her hair up, and he tells her not to flatter herself and then she leaves him to his bed. If there’s a smile to her face, she can lie and say it’s a number of other things than Stephen Strange wanting to show off his girlfriend.
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TIME MOVES FOWARD
❝ I am going to try pulling a page from Mr. Barton’s book, Chief ❞   Linda begins to chide softly as she is pulling him aside the moment that he was aboard the ship again. His arm had been stuck in a torpedo, of which they only recently found out what was inside of them much to everyone’s shock and some’s horror. Her hands are gentle on his arm, and she can breathe a little easier now that he’s in her sight and seemingly fine. ❝ And apply some humor to defuse a tense situation. ❞
She was worried about him, and the doctor isn’t going to curb her own personal feelings for once with that. ❝ You got your arm stuck, what were you thinking? That you were Jim? ❞  Her eyes search his face, and this whole thing has been one of the more stressful and he could have ended up a blast stain if he and Dr Marcus had been a second slower in what they had been doing. ❝ Lapse of judgement like Clint always has? ❞ 
Broken skin, bruising, and it could have been a lot worse. She actually feels her chest go tight at the thought of that, and he catches her holding her breath. She exhales, ❝ You’ll be okay, Chief, no death or amputation. This should help. ❞ Linda gets him with the hypospray, adjusted for painkiller and for boosting natural bruise healing.
Even putting aside the feelings that cause her heart rate to raise when he’s close, he had become her best friend. To which she knew she wasn’t his, and that’s fine. He was the closest friend she had aboard of the ship, and to lose him or to have something happen to him. . . . Her heart couldn’t take that again. Linda couldn’t lose him, as her friend or as the guy she won’t make a move on. He’s not looking anyways.
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FLASH BACK
She’s a fresh-faced medical student, and she’s already a quick study (how could she not be her father is head of the cardiac department on the base’s main hospital) and performing top of her marks. Linda was polarizing, liked and disliked in equal measure but she kept herself none the wiser to any who looked on at her.
Except that she would be blind or a fool, if she didn’t notice how one of the doctor’s eyes followed her. She knew most of the people here, after all she was a Carter and at least a quarter of the doctors and professors she was now studying under would appear around her father’s poker table for a night of cards and gin. A table she’s visited and been at since she was little. Linda knew why others were jealous of her, it was because she had that leg up.
This doctor was unfamiliar to her, and his eyes follows her around every corner that she turns. It would go on like this for weeks, until one day she would turn a corner and march right over to him to request he either give her his name or stop looking at her so intensely. STEVE STUART.  He gets called away right as they finally get somewhere, and she shouts her name at him, Steve looking back to her twice more before he has to turn the corner and look away.
Steve Stuart doesn’t stop with his staring; in fact, he keeps looking at her, but they never seem to catch more than a moment to say anything to the other than the first word that comes out at hello. She’s a medical student, in her twenties, but that doesn’t make her naïve. It’s not as though she doesn’t get why anyone would be looking at someone like he looks at her. Linda knows she was a pretty face, but she’s been focused on degree, on becoming a doctor that her family could be proud of. THEY WERE ALREADY PROUD. It's more that she had a legacy name to live up to and Linda couldn’t let anyone or herself down. The young Carter was focused and not looking back.
One afternoon, she manages to shave off a few extra minutes, having figured out when Steve Stuart does rounds and get a look at him herself; her friend Gwen was right that he was something to look at, good looking. She doesn’t know him though, but she could if someone makes the change from looking to talking. When he catches her looking at him now, he waves with a smile and Linda decides she going to take the chance to go over. ❝ So, what are you looking at? ❞
YOU. I ALWAYS THOUGHT ALL THE ANGELS WERE UP IN HEAVEN.
❝ You know that is not as smooth as you think, Steve Stuart; you’ll have to get to know me first. ❞
Doctor Steve Stuart asks her out than and there, much to the thrill of her friends, Dolly and Gwen. They both thought he was cute, but it goes nowhere from there after a few dates because neither of them find the time for each other more than sparing cursory looks. Their schedules never lined up more than a few minutes. Things like that happen; she was focused on her future in medicine, and he was always more interesting in looks than in person. They’d always have their looks until she doesn’t notice him looking anymore; or maybe she stopped looking, stopped caring to notice.
At least someone did something, so she could know his name.
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TIME MOVES FORWARD
Truthfully, she could have joined in the rest of the crew; gotten apartments and rooms, request shore leaves approved or denied by Commander Spock and go home. Yet there was nothing on Earth for her; there were only ex-somethings that she thought little of now. Her thoughts, her eyes, she had been elsewhere, and she’s moved on now. There wasn’t anything here but a Chief Medical Officer that she was worried about; deep in his grief, consumed with the death and recovery of Captain James T. Kirk.
That’s who he was looking at, Jim Kirk, and who he was losing sleep and skipping meals over. Linda watches him stay awake for hours, stay in the room longer than everyone else and refuse their insistence that he go and get some rest; that he leaves the monitoring of the comatose Captain with one of the other physicians on staff in this facility or from the staff of the Enterprise. He didn’t, and Linda knew what she had to do. She had to step in, force him out of the room whether he liked her afterwards or not.
Linda stood her ground, entering the room once she sees three of the bridge crew leave the room. There were a few, feeble attempts to speak to him over the last few days; trying to pull him away from where he was looking. His eyes are on the monitors, on the captain’s unconscious form and he’s going to fall ill from this if Leonard continues like he does. It was all that he was doing was this, trying to play God, bring his best friend back to life, and why can’t he look anywhere else in the room; listen to anyone else?
She’s worried about him immensely, takes up much of her own thoughts, and then she knows this scene suddenly. Georgie sick and dying, laying in a bed for weeks, and a cure that worked came in the difference of a few weeks. All coming too late. Georgie rejected medical care too early, something she had always felt, always thought. A doctor and their best friend; she’s stood in this room and been in his shoes. Never use Georgie’s name in vain. It’s only been a few years since her best friend’s passing.
It's a last-ditch attempt to get her friend to take care of himself before he destroys himself, what feels like a final effort to get him to look at her now. ❝ You are going to leave this room and you going to lie down, somewhere. I don’t care if it’s in the damn hallway, you have a pulse, lungs functioning, all interior processes are there and there’s brain activity. Jim’s alive. ❞ Her tone is voice is severe, because Linda doesn’t use Georgie’s name lightly. He’d know this. ❝ Your friend is going to wake up, I would have torn myself to tatters and shreds to keep Georgie alive. That wasn’t in her wishes, you aren’t going to say goodbye like I did to her. So out of this room, sleep three hours and eat something; than ⸻ ❞  Than Leonard can come back to this, and she’ll keep watching Leonard from the sidelines until something changes.
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FLASH BACK
All things come to an end; and they already knew this was coming. Linda would say, at the least, she was fond of Jack but there’s something different about him, in the last two days before he’s supposed to board back on his ship and leave forever. She should have guessed that it would happen.
Life isn’t a romance novel, of second chances and surprise meetings and of resolving and confessing one’s feelings. It wasn’t like the stories of whirlwind romance that last a lifetime like her mother would write about. Jack felt like that; a character out of Doreen Carter’s novels meant to come relieve all her stresses and worries, make her feel more than enough, experience love, and last forever.
This was all plainer than that, she was working on her residency and wondering what was going to be next. Was life always going to be here? And then he’s a Starfleet doctor whose ship was in dry dock for only three months, and leaving today.
Saying goodbye was going to be that, simple, and she could say that with a smile as the words leave. He was fun, a romance novel come to life, but what did she know about him? Nothing, as much as she doesn’t think that he really saw her for who she was. It’s a fling. A short-lived friendship. Fun. What do you say, that’s what his eyes and lips were asking of her.
❝ Well, goodbye, right? That’s what we say. ❞ Linda tells him, pulling away from the hug and Jack’s got funny face put on.
“ Linda, I, you ⸻ ”  There it is, she thinks she knows what he could say. Proclamation of feelings, confession about why he did this or why her, tell her that something has changed for him. She had thought that he had done this because he had have been out of his mind, or dying, or lost; that he needed someone or something. That wasn’t going to be her, this was a three-month fling. Nothing more than that.
❝ Goodbye, Jack, you were fun to TRYON for a while. ❞  See, she remembers how he used his last name like a line, and it made her laugh, roll her eyes whenever he’s used it with her.
He chokes for a moment, on his words on what he was going to say to her; changes his mind on whatever he was going to confess, to say and thinks better of it, agrees with Linda. One more moment, and Jack’s composed himself. ” Carter, you’re gonna make someone really lucky one day. “  Just not him. Linda rolls his eyes at him, because she wasn’t thinking about that, but she’ll grace him with a smile. “ Well, than I guess this is good bye. ”
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TIME MOVES FORWARD
AND SHE KNOWS HIM. Linda sees him now, listens as he sounds worn down by the year, by a single day, and then the last two weeks. His heart worn down focused on someone unavailable. She knows that feeling. Over the year, Leonard and Linda have given each other bits and pieces of each other so they knew each other. They’d done a lot, over the year, to let the other in, to see each other and to know. She watched his face fall, and she won’t regret sticking around, or the way she feels for him in that moment, and then in this moment as they sit in his apartment.
The whiskey still feels like it’s burned her throat, but he had been eyeing it with guilt; that he had swallowed too much, and Linda’s met enough people in her lifetime, to know the different walks of life to recognize the alcoholics and addicts; and Leonard she knew about, he told her too, about himself, which mattered all the more.
Linda’s here because she cares, because he could use the friend and they know enough to trust each other and Linda’s not leaving him alone. When she’s done talking, she listens to him, and it all starts to make sense. There’s a twinge, a squeeze to her chest, but her face won’t show her reactions. Linda just holds his face in her hands, holds his head and leans into his shoulder shows him that she was listening as intently, with the whole of her person.
Greens meeting green, unflinching and not judging as he chokes on words, swallows and looks away from her because the weight of his words are too much to share, to bear, so scarcely shared for him. He was carrying around so much, the loss of Pike, the day’s events and crewman lost, feelings for Jim, and then Jim dying, listening to Jim wake up to thanking Spock while he stood to the side today, and lastly drinking past his limits. Lastly, not being able to go to and share that with Clint, the friend he got sober with.
I KNEW I NEEDED TO BUT I COULDN’T, INSTEAD I DRANK
How her heart aches as he tells, sobs, he can’t handle these two weights at once, dealing with his deep feelings about Jim, toward Jim, for Jim (which maybe she knew, and she won’t admit she knows his feelings better than a listening ear, knows what it means to feel and look at someone and it is not the same, that was how some friendships were) and then drinking more than he allowed himself; why he drank and how much he drank. Linda knew that Leonard and Clint were close, and now she knew why. They got sober together, and now he’s broken that. She tries to hold his gaze as he moves to look away.
❝ Who’s disappointed in you? He won’t be, and I am certainty not disappointed. ❞ Be nicer to my friend, she thinks about him, and Linda can’t know the intricacies that he was feeling; ❝ It sounds like you’re the only one disappointed with yourself. ❞ How she knows that she cares for him greater than friendship. She could do this for anyone as a good doctor, even as a friend, console the weary. However, Linda knew she wouldn’t hold someone quite like this, look at anyone like she was looking at him.  
It all aches a little like that.  
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FLASH BACK
He took her back, as she came to him feeling weary and worn, taking her best friend’s words to heart. If she could have waited a week, two more weeks, only a little more time and then she could have had Georgie here too. Linda won’t admit that she begged and that she had been wrong, and she was sorry for yelling; and she needed him, she would need him, and she loved him. It was one very bad day, one very bad night, that was all. Linda’s sorry and he was right about her; and Georgie’s help screwed her head back on the right way.
And Georgie passes, and then it wasn’t long after that they got the serum right, the vaccine, and things would change. That’s how that year had went, with her being engaged to Marshall, and he did hold her through losing her friend and he loved her, and she did love him. Linda loved him almost as much as she loved Georgie, and now he was the person she loved most (well, she still loved her career more and helping people; being needed by people). She had needed him, because that was a loss that wore down on her for months and would wear on her for many more years to come, she was sure.
The Solace is delayed in returning home, there’s been a situation an additional six months they had been away from port. The Captain and the Chief took stock of the crew and medical team; they were tired but willing, spirits not broken. They went to help, and then they could go home.
Linda’s in their shared quarters, reading a book as she waited for Marshall, they would be back on Earth soon and she would go home with him. They had topics to discuss, related to the ship’s return because these four years on the ship had worn on long for her fiancé. Linda saw he was unhappy, so maybe it was the ship, emergency and crisis, dealing with the sick that would be a lot for anyone. Linda’s toughened up because of this, but maybe Marshall hadn’t at all.
❝ We don’t have to stick with the same ship or assignment, we could transfer to one of the science ships; that could be a nice change of pace. ❞ She suggests to him, when she’s gotten him sitting with her and reaching to take his hand, to start the discussion about what would be next for and that’s where the disconnect starts to happen between them. His fingers go to toy with a notably barren spot on her ring finger, with which she knows what he was doing.
Knew what would be coming up next from his lips, so she moves to kiss him first before he can speak. When were they going to get married? ❝ Just something to consider before we even get back on the ground, and you know that I do want to marry you. ❞  That didn’t feel like a lie, because she did. Linda loved Marshall, and she would be his wife, and they would go everywhere together, everywhere that she was looking forward at. He would be right along at her side, focused on study and research, and wasn’t this what he signed up for?
He makes that sigh, looks her in the eye like she isn’t getting it and maybe she wasn’t, and it wasn’t enough, and she wasn’t enough. Looking so far forward, at what was next because she would be giving up being on ship with the people who have become her friends and family after four years; saw each other through the hardest parts of crisis. Linda was giving that up because this wasn’t working for Marshall and she saw that, but she wasn’t stopping at what she was, who she was; being on a starship and being a doctor. It’s too much of Linda now to stop after one starship, one assignment. She would give up the Solace as home, the crew as family, for Marshall to find a better place for both of them.
❝ We’ll keep talking, and I’ll handle all that ⸻ okay, I love you, Marshall, come on, I’ll show you how much ❞
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TIME MOVES FORWARD
It only takes them an hour longer before she manages to get Leonard out of his apartment, off the floor, and gotten him to finish a glass of water. Linda puts on a smile, it can be hard to do that and to be disappointed with yourself, to be coping and dealing with loss; she’s dealt with a lot, and she knows that at some point forward had to be looked at and it would take a lot longer after these last two weeks. She can smile for the both of them, look forward.
Linda knows what it was like to feel that way, to feel alone, to feel not enough; but now she’s got her head on her shoulders screwed on the right way. She knows how to sweep herself off the floor, and right now he needed the hand in getting up off that floor. A good start to dealing with everything was to start at the beginning of the day and that meant breakfast. Linda holds out her arm for him, holds out her hand for him and they would go find somewhere to have breakfast. ❝ Come on, we’ll walk together. ❞
She figures that was as good as any of a way to start, to help Leonard carry on and her heart may ache for him, over him; and there’s a lot more she knows about him that she will think about. Later, she’ll think about herself and that later, right now he mattered more. He’s barely eaten more than he absolutely had to, and almost had a whole whiskey bottle. Leonard needed food, rest, to breath and find something to focus on. Smile a little.
❝ We’ll find a place that serves toast and jams, that’s always been my cure after terribly awful night. I’d sit at the breakfast table with Tag, and we’d eat an entire stack of toast until our stomachs felt like bursting and try a different flavor of jam on each slice. ❞
Then they would carry on with the day, then the week, and figure everything else after that. She would have to figure out what she was going to be doing with her time, where she would be staying while the ship was in repairs. They’ll talk about that over breakfast, what to think about forward and start figuring out how to heal.
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FLASH BACK
Her things are being packed, how this had happened that she would end up with him where her things would migrate from her apartment with Georgie than end up in Stephen Strange’s. It was better this way; she’s telling herself as the feeling of anger and shame follows after her, because she would be graduating from Starfleet this year and she wanted to take an assignment on a starship; and it was like the relationship with Jack except this one had lasted longer. It would have to end. However, it had gone on long enough that they were going to have admit there was feelings between the two of them. At least, for Linda, as it turns out.
However, that was where she was feeling like a fool for making a home in his sanctuary and laying on his chest after they had sex, talking in whispers when they found the time and she’d dress up for him; be on his arm and shown off as his new girlfriend. Caring for him, and for them.
Now there was a Clea Strange at his door, that he hadn’t ever mentioned before, and Linda had better things to do with her time; better places to be. Linda’s marks at the Academy were all at the top, and she should keep it that way and it’d be easier without being the other woman. She wasn’t even the only other woman; she was just the one who. . . . She doesn’t even know what she was to him if anything; he gave her names, they were Sherlock and Watson, and they had their things, and now all she thinks is that she was a fool to him.
Clea’s sweet, talks to her and tells her that they had been separated, and Linda being there hadn’t hurt her. She left him because of his infidelities, because he couldn’t handle his problems and it doesn’t help Linda. So, what was she? His next mid-life crisis? She was a lot better than that. Clea’s incredibly sweet to help her, and they talk more than she expected. Clea’s the estranged wife of Stephen Strange, but Linda’s not a fan of feeling like the mistress, and what was Clea doing back anyway?
That catches on Clea’s face, and Linda doesn’t need her to answer. Oh, well, she missed him, and she wanted to give him a chance. Linda was evidence he hasn’t changed much in the time she had left. Clea smiles to her, gives her a squeeze to her hand and tells her that she owes her, if there was anything she ever needed than she could call either of them.
Linda thanks her, and she doesn’t know why when the wife feels like a slap in her face. It would be later when she’s back at her apartment with Georgie; that she would be angry and hurt. Be in hysterics like she hasn’t before, but most of that comes from feeling like a fool and being disappointed with herself.
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TIME MOVES FORWARD
Linda was going to stay with some of the crew who were in the same boat as her, not sure where she was going, and her home wasn’t here on Earth; and it’d be lonely to explore the planet by herself anyway. She thinks that right now was the first moment that she has been alone, truly alone, sitting with herself and she’s requested the same amount of shore leave as everyone else, but she wouldn’t even be leaving the port of San Francisco, until. . . .
Leonard Mccoy catches her, and he looks like he’s been getting some rest now and clearing of his head. OH, heart sings at his sights. It’s good to see that after the last few weeks, feels good to see him in a better-looking state. He’s got something to ask her, which wasn’t what she was expecting from him with where he was going finding her and what he had to say. Linda’s got the words on her lips, rolling over her tongue and ready to release as much as she knows the pang it causes in her chest. WHAT ARE FRIENDS FOR? She would say if he thanked her. Leonard was her best friend, and so of course, she was going to care and be there for him. Linda would do that without question.
There was a thank you, but that’s not the only thing that he had come to her to say, had come to her to ask. He’s telling her how he was going home, to Georgia, he needed some Jojo time, and he was inviting her to come, that he’d like for her to join him on the leave. She hadn’t any plans, she had confessed with laughs because she wouldn’t be one of the ones going home or seeing her family. Her friends the Academy were in different places, the only people in this city were ex-somethings if they were still here. Her family was on a whole Starbase in another quadrant of space, far away.
Linda can’t quell the feeling that bubbles up when he asks to come, because its time and closeness with him, and she says yes without much of a thought. So, she’ll take the time off with him than. Go with him, and like that she had a place to go, it may not be her home, but it was with her dearest friend and his friends, though Peter and Clint were closer to friends for her as well, and she would love to meet the family that he has talked about.
On the way there, she sits with him. Looks at him when he’s not looking, and she’s endeared by the fact that Clint and Peter were joining them on this leave. There are feelings that swell in her stomach, churn in chest, that were familiar and unfamiliar in equal measures. It’s a contrast seeing him now to a few weeks ago. And maybe he’s told Clint and maybe he hasn’t yet; to sitting on his apartment floor and listening to him heartbroken (how her heart cracked in the same ways in sympathy) over what he and the pilot shared that he had broken; the disappointment in himself.
Sitting here with the three of them, Leonard talking with Clint. Watching that was why she liked Leonard, that was what she had liked him for, that he was bringing them too and opening his home, his family, taking this time with them. It had meant a lot to Linda, to see that was who he was. Inviting.
Georgia is a good time, and Jojo’s a sweet kid. She’s always been good with kids, the whole family joked she raised baby brother Tag herself; Linda always wore being an older sister as her proudest achievement. She likes Georgia, seeing another side of Leonard and meeting the Mccoys made her feel like she was home with the Carters. It’s going to be awful on her heart, isn’t this? It’s not going to help with the thoughts that she needs to be letting go, moving on, and accept that she would be happy to live in friendship with him.
One night, it was just the two of them enjoying the night air and she was at his side, and she tears up. How many times is she going to cry with Leonard? There are tears because she hadn’t a place to go and he invited her to come with him to his place to go, opened his home and family. Linda hadn’t seen her family in person in a long while, hasn’t been on Starbase 515 since four years of academy, four years on the Solace, and then she boarded the Enterprise. He doesn’t know how much it means to her, doesn’t know what being hugged in his arms means for her either.
Say something, say something, say something and she doesn’t. What holds her tongue is not something that Linda think about.
On the trip from Georgia back to the Enterprise’s port, she was sitting next to him again and there’s chatter around them, but she’s quiet. Her eyes on a book, green gaze throwing glances to Leonard now and again, and she has to say it, right? She has to admit this, at least once, because she feels it in her chest; like she has never felt before with anyone else. Her lips don’t move, her voice doesn’t make a sound at all. Nothing moves, none of it comes out, and he is none the wiser to her thoughts or feelings. Linda can’t avoid admitting that after the weeks in Georgia with him and doing nothing about her feelings were small or ever to go away, that she has to say it to herself at the very least.
She has to say it to herself first, admit it to her person and acknowledge the feeling; know it and then she should think about saying that thing. She could go about no longer just looking at him, and noticing how her friend, best friend, was someone more than that; and maybe Linda wanted to give herself, give the old heart in the jar another chance. Tell him, make the change, sink or swim; but first she has to say to herself anyway.
Linda looks at him, pretends to know what she was laughing along with as she thinks, as she feels it that she has FALLEN IN LOVE with Leonard Mccoy, and oh how she LOVES HIM DEARLY already as a friend and it is felt more than that.
They’ll get back on the ship soon, get back into the work rhythm, and when things feel healed after what happened with Khan and Admiral Marcus. All settled down than Linda will think about what she does with her feelings. What does she do with them? Give it time, and maybe she’ll figure it out. Risk telling him.
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FLASH BACK
THIS WAS THE WORST FEELING. She’s never known a heartbreak like this one; and Linda felt herself break when she knew she failed and found herself responsible for a patient’s life being lost that first time. Thirty-eight lives lost under her care the first week that they were here, and yet that was nothing to this feeling now that she didn’t know what to do with.
Now she knows what happens when people don’t know what to do with their feelings. She didn’t know what to do with herself or with hers. Marshall wanted to marry her, but than his words hurt and cut her deep; left her feeling beaten down when she was already kicked to the ground.
Georgie hadn’t been avoiding her for. . . . Georgie had been avoiding her because she had gotten sick, and it got to her quick, and she’s been lying in a hospital bed, wanting to hide this from her. Dying alone, and Linda can’t yell at her, for the stupid decisions to do that, for dying. Linda wants to know why she wants to feel it all, no medicine, and die in that way. What the hell was she thinking?
Her heart was breaking in two ways, and she didn’t think that was possible for it to be torn to shreds. Some doctors put their feelings away and some keep them, and she wants to throw hers up as she enters; finds herself sick as she sees her friend not looking her best.
If the hours of argument with Marshall left her dry, empty of all her tears, voice aching and weak; simply seeing her best friend like this had left her completely filled to the brim with tears and they were already spilling over. Linda holds her hand in hers, touches her gloved hand to her cheeks and asks her what she could do for her, and she can’t help herself; what happened and how? That spills her lips as loosely as her tears flowed. Why and then what the hell are you thinking?
She begs her to hold on, and then Georgie shakes her head; maybe she’ll help beat this, her dying being the key to figuring out the cure to this mutation (it was like a living learning creature). They talk about everything after that; and then Linda is telling Georgie that she thinks she was single now, and how Marshall was going to propose.
That she was so tired, and hurt, and angry; doesn’t even get to telling her friend what they had argued about, all the nasty things that both of them had said to each other. Georgie tells her that she had helped Marshall out with that, and she was glad to hear that he was going through with it; that he had wanted to go through with asking her. She knew weeks before, and she asks Linda if she could salvage this. Georgie thought that they looked good as a couple, and that must be a nice thing to be wanted and needed and loved like Linda was.
It was Georgie who tells her that she still had her chances, that she could go and salvage it. Apologize, because people needed people and she wasn’t going to have Georgie anymore. How it all hurt. Linda didn’t know what to do, and she’s asking her what to do with her feelings, with Marshall, and everything because knowing she was losing her best friend wasn’t helping her. She listens to her, every word Georgie says, and it’s her guide as she goes back tail between her legs to salvage her relationship with Marshall. You loved him after all.
Watching Georgie go, day by day. It was the hardest thing Linda had been through. And then the doctors, the scientists figure out the serum, the right treatments and cure but it’s all too late.
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FLASH FORWARD
Time passes on, and Georgia is still on her mind, and time continues on that. The ship’s been repaired, most of the events they all went through swept under the rug and a new truth is spun. Beyond the dead, there are crew who leave the ship and so there are new faces aboard the Enterprise, all required to pass through the medical bay and be seen by the Chief or any one of his staff. They’ll come to know them, as they would be out on a five-year mission and that felt like a high honor.
It is slow the first few weeks to find the new rhythm of things, but things were healing as all things do and start to resume back to the pace that she had gotten used to over the past year and months on this ship. She’s glad to be here, to be a part of this crew.
Today was a quiet day, the chance to take a breath and her eyes find herself looking at the familiar faces, processing everything all over again. Georgia the place, being there with him and what she had realized, what she admitted to herself about her feelings for Leonard, and Georgie the person was on her mind as well when her eyes settle down on Leonard Mccoy in conversation with Ms Carol Danvers across the medbay.
Okay, what am I doing here, Georgie?
Let’s break this down, so what is going on?
AFFLICATION: okay, starting from there. It’s my heart and not the kind of issues that I studied in medical school. See him over there. Leonard Mccoy. Chief Medical Officer. Are you hearing the problem? Another doctor, are you keeping count of how many that is for me? Along with he is my Chief Medical Officer, remember Stephen and technically Steve could have been in charge of me too. Weird how it was those two, and Marshall was older than me, and ranked higher. I’m not even done, the affliction is in my heart; I like him and maybe I’ve already fallen for him more than that, in love or love him. I’ve never liked my mother’s poetry, but I could think in poetry about him.
So, you have a type, you always knew what you wanted, Linda.
Not now. Not now do I. Stephen and Marshall broke my heart. Torn me down. I don’t know if I want to handle that. If I can handle that again.
What makes you think it will be the same thing as all the rest?
VARIABLE: Well, he is divorced? I know that doesn’t really bother me, but I have to count all the facts. Alcoholic, which doesn’t bother me either. We all have our things, and mine is this right here. My last two relationships ended, and Marshall was right about all the things he said about me. I am too focused on what I want, and I love moving forward, I love being a doctor and challenge. I fell in love with being Starfleet actually, and it’s hard but it’s exciting. Okay, okay, so I could screw it up. Really screw it up, I do that. Great doctor, terrible girlfriend. He could want something from me that I can’t give. I couldn’t be whatever Jack wanted me to be, too short of a time to know him, and I don’t know what Stephen wanted me for. Marshall wanted a wife, and I kept prolonging that. It never happened. I’m not enough, and what if he wants something; or he asks me later down the line to chose him. God, I really think he's incredible Georgie, and I am in too deep, and I don’t know what to do. The rug could be swept out from under me, it always does when my heart runs away from me. Tell me what to do, Georgie.
Come on, Linda, you always know; you don’t need me to tell you.
P.O.A: No, I really don’t know what to do, there’s no plan of action here. I know that I should say something or try to move on. I could try, but then I love his and mine’s friendship too, and maybe sometimes that isn’t worth the risk. You chose to die quicker and in pain. Was that worth it? My two options are saying something or nothing. Move on or not, maybe just living in these feelings and friendship is enough. I thought he might have said something, once, but. . . . Maybe I should just give up.
Linda inhales, holds her breath for a moment before she lets out a sigh, looking away from the man at the other end and looks back down to what she was doing; engages herself in conversation with the nurse on duty and shakes her head to get the thoughts out of her mind to carry on. She was still figuring it out.
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FLASH BACK
Linda doesn’t understand what was happening. As she was telling Marshall about all the things that they to do now that they were shipping out, on their new assignment, the Enterprise, and they needed to get their security clearance for going aboard among other things. She’s abuzz actually, to get back to working and caring for people. This all mattered to her, and it was the start of the next great adventure, and it will be with her Marshall at her side, and he must be looking forward to this as well.
NO.
❝ I am sure by moments before we are on board, you will be as well, dear. ❞  That doesn’t change his expression, which wasn’t readable to her as she’s putting her things down with confusion on her face.
❝ Well, when ⸻ ❞
WE AREN’T GOING. 
Hold on, what that was a load of bullshit. They got their assignment for the Enterprise, they’ve been jumping through the necessary requirements for boarding any starship and ⸻ what? What was going on? What did he know, and why hadn’t she heard anything?
❝ No, we are. Nothing’s changed. ❞
DO YOU WANT TO MARRY ME?
❝ I ⸻ of course, I do. . . ? I do want to be your wife, Marshall, we aren’t starting this again. You know that I ⸻ ❞
WE AREN’T GOING. QUIT. QUIT WITH ME. MARRY ME NOW AND WE MOVE TO BUENOS AIRIES. WE COULD GO TOMORROW.
That gets Linda getting up on her feet, a panic rising up in her chest because that has not been what the plan was yesterday, and they go out in less than a week. This can’t just happen like that, was he sick or ⸻ she was short for answers. She goes to open the door to their balcony, going to look out and get her breathing under control, try to figure out what was going on here and process her feelings as they were coming to her.
YOU CAN’T BE MY WIFE AND BE A DOCTOR.
He has a speech for her, so many points to be made about her, about her and him; and Linda has to admit to herself that she is barely listening. He has a whole plan, everything worked out for them, her whole plan and all she can focus on is how he wants her to quit everything, Starfleet and being a doctor. Her dreams, career, who she was being stepped on. She bites her lip, as he talks to her, talks down to her like he often does, talks like when they got engaged but Linda can’t reach inside herself, in her heart to fight back against him this time. Yell at him like they had before, like he had hurt her. She leans against the railing.
❝ I don’t understand. ❞  is all she can say when he was done talking, and she flinches again pulls her arm away and walks to the other corner of their balcony as he reaches to touch her.  Where was all of this coming from? She can’t be a wife and a doctor?
NEITHER DO I. I’M OFFERING YOU A GOOD LIFE, LINDA. YOU CAN STAY WITH ME AND NEVER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING AGAIN.
His hand connects with her arm and pulls her to look at him, forces their eyes to connect and she is frowning at him, confusion and hurt in her eyes but she won’t cry or yell.
FORGET STARFLEET. FORGET MEDICINE. CHOOSE ME.
❝ Marshall, I can’t. Those people need me. ❞ Her career, her dreams, what she loved doing more than any person. She would be caring for people; a ship of that size needed its full team of doctors. Linda liked being needed as a doctor, liked her career and her role in life, in the entire universe. They were expecting her to show up. Marshall and she had talked about this, they had planned this together. She gave up returning to the Solace for him, was going to be his wife one day.
I NEED YOU. YOU WILL NEVER BE HAPPY THERE, LINDA. YOU’VE CHOSEN A VERY DIFFICULT LIFE, AND YOU’RE GOING TO BE DOING IT ALONE.
She feels alone right now, hollow too. Definitely not happy. And then there’s that word again, his favorite word to use with her was difficult. Linda stares at him, and just goes mute. What was she going to do? She had even been wearing his ring, and he sighs at her frustrated. Linda pulls away from him, quick and violent, and her hand goes to pull off his ring. She sets it down, on the little table on their balcony where she had enjoyed her morning coffees and a good book.
❝ Give me an hour and I will be out of here for good. ❞   He pinches his nose, considers what she had to say, and she follows him to their front door.
THEN IT’S GOODBYE. I JUST HOPE AND PRAY YOU’VE MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE. . . . FOR BOTH OF US.
He had to say that one last thing, to try to get under her skin. Make her doubt herself, not feel enough, and try to get her change her mind, regret it. I think you were wrong about this one, Georgie. What was she going to do? It’s not as though she has Georgie’s apartment to return to anymore.
It was like the rug was pull from under her feet. All Linda knew right now was that she was a Starfleet officer and was boarding the starship, USS ENTERPRISE, in less than a week. Actually, she needs to call to make sure that was the case and Marshall hadn’t done something about that. Her heart was breaking, and she had no idea what to do about that or with anything at the moment. WHERE TO GO UNTIL THEN?
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TIME MOVES FORWARD
THE ENTERPRISE WAS HOME, THE CREW HER FRIENDS, AND THE MEDICAL TEAM HER FAMILY.
Linda’s always been qualified for field and away team, her experience from Solace has always served to be entirely valuable. She knows that the Captain had favoritism toward the Chief coming on these things, but today would be her time to shine.  Linda had looked in Leonard’s eyes with a smile to her eyes, and there is that fluttering in her chest as he expresses his concerns to be careful. Still, she hasn’t done anything about her feelings for him, and they haven’t easily gone away though as she tries as she might.
In fact, he and her have been as close as ever; maybe closer since what happened in San Francisco.
This was going to be fine, Leonard, but I will be. She meant her promise to him, truly she was being careful and intended. The civilization they had contacted, after they had hailed the Enterprise, was a matriarchy and to respect that, they were getting the lady doctor or Dr Carter instead of Dr Mccoy to aid and perform an exam.
There was something in there, that they had been missing, but no one thought of that until it was too late.
Linda’s in a room alone with a gentleman from the people here and accompanied by two women who were his bodyguards. Outside the room, on the other side of the door she had knew that Clint Barton was there while Spock and Kirk were talking with the leader of this sector.
The doctor smiles to him, holding up the tricorder for medical exams to start checking him on, and there’s something quite not right. First the talk between them was a doctor meeting a patient for the first time, but than the gentleman starts asking her questions and holding her attention from what she was supposed to be doing.
What throws her off is when he asks if she loves someone, and he specifies deeply. Linda doesn’t want to answer, but she feels complied to tell the truth with him.
❝ Yes, I do love someone deeply, dearly. ❞
He considers that and asks her if she has told them lately that she loves them.
❝ Actually ⸻ ❞ Linda, why are you being honest? ❝ I haven’t told him at all, that I love him in the way that I do. ❞ The compulsion grows as he asks why. ❝ Well, I’m a coward, just a frail and pathetic woman, and I keep planning to make my feelings known but ⸻ ❞
Without realizing it, he has started to rise to his feet asks her what his name was.
❝ Leonard Mccoy. ❞
“I will make sure someone apologizes to him than.” He moves quicker than Linda can process what was happening, a cold metal pain jets into her gut and at least she remembers to scream loud enough. Sharp jabs of pain, and where’s this blood coming from?
There’s a shout, Clint’s, and all of hell breaks loose as Linda loses all sense of what follows after that.
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FLASH BACK
Good news for her, Linda would be on the Enterprise at the end of week.
As she was standing on the balcony, figuring out what the hell she was going to do and Linda thinks she should be crying. Her fiancé, a relationship she has invested years in, and had given up much for; Marshall had given her an ultimatum and left her.
This was his apartment now, so she would have to get out. Her eyes go back to the ring on the table. Linda finds herself all alone, there was interstellar communication to her family but other than that; she hadn’t seen them, and they were in another quadrant on a starbase. There was no going to them, and it has been eight years since.
Georgie was dead, has been dead, and for all she knows all her friends from Starfleet academy were on their own assignments; no one on Earth or in San Francisco. Well, there were people that started to come to mind, an owed flavor promised to her, but it has been years since that had been made. Was it even true, were they even still there? It was a long shot, but her only shot.
What the hell happened, Linda Carter? She can’t work out why she wasn’t crying, perhaps she was still in shock. That was a very likely variable. Linda does feel broken, like she wasn’t enough; it wasn’t enough to be loved and have her dreams. Could she only have one? Would she be ALONE AND UNHAPPY? Was she really choosing what was DIFFICULT? Really, was that all her personal life would ever amount to?
She can’t be crying when she meets her new crew, her new superior officer. SO, CRY NOW DAMMIT! She can’t find the tears, and the hour will be up soon, and Linda really doesn’t want to see Marshall again. CRY.  Otherwise, she would be a ticking time bomb for those tears. God, she wanted to yell at the top of her lungs because how was this happening?
Carter, you’re gonna make someone really lucky one day.
HA, YEAH, RIGHT.
A plan does start to formulate for her, in her eyes and she gathers her things that would be coming with her. It would be humiliating when she was already feeling so low if she cried when found out where she was staying, when she boards the Enterprise and meet dozens to hundreds of people.
It would be awful to break down in front of all those people, so she envisions a scalpel in hand and cut out her imaginary heart, the one that held all the feelings. There were two types of doctors, the one who put away their feelings and the ones who kept them. She would take out her poor heart, THE FOOL, which must be diseased at least at this point and put it in a jar, put it away on a shelf, and get through these next few weeks.
Linda could let her heart sit up on a top shelf, heal from its afflictions, and then when she was ready, she would take it back down; then she could feel all the feelings. Put her foolish heart back where it needed to be later, because right now she needs to compartmentalize and focus on her career, on her path ahead, on the future ahead. She’d be meeting hundreds of new people by the end of the week. She can’t go there feeling like a frail and pathetic version state of herself, with tears streaming down her face.
She would be alright, and taking out her parts right now would help if that favor was still withstanding. After all, it had been years since she had met the Stranges, since uncomfortably sitting in one of Stephen’s lectures after their breakup and wondering. She found out later, he hadn’t been faithful to her either even, along with not telling her he had a wife. Linda makes the call anyway, and it picks up, it was still them and thankfully it was Clea on the phone.
❝ You may not remember me, Mrs Strange, but it is Linda Carter. ❞
“I do remember you, is this about that favor?”
❝ Yes, actually. I am intended to ship out on a starship in less than a week, and I need to place to stay in that time. ❞
“I think we could be that place for you. That’s not too much to ask. We are still in the same place. Are you okay, or are you sure you’ll be okay?”
❝ I am fine, okay, eager to get starbound again is all, and it will be okay. I am over that, kind of had to be when he would guest lecture in some of my final year courses. I am okay. ❞
Diseased heart on the shelf and still feeling like a fool. I am difficult, I am unhappy, and I am going to end up alone.
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imperfectskeleton · 2 years
Text
I don’t dislike being touched - I do dislike being touched. But it is in part about what is stands for.
It’s about me at the age of five saying “no, I’m not ticklish,” and standing, stone faced when someone tickled me anyway. I knew I would be touched whatever the answer and I knew that making no response would stop it happening in future.
It’s about the ex boyfriends who let their hands wander because we were DATING and obviously that meant they could do whatever they wanted, right?
It’s about the strangers who would tap my shoulder and my having to school myself to not look disgusted or flinch.
And when I make an effort to reciprocate actions that aren’t natural to me, I am told I am wrong.
I shake hands for too long or with no resolution.
I miss high-fives, or stare in confusion at offered fist bumps.
I lean down to kiss someone’s cheek and get an offended noise as my nose touches their ear by mistake.
But I know as much as I don’t understand touch and avoid it so I don’t get told I am wrong, other people speak in touch. And so I lean in for hugs even though I can’t hug back.
There was a brief time when I could touch people. I could hold hands with any of my friends as a joke and as a comfort in one.
I could never initiate a kiss, when I dated. I could lean in, barely, as my own consent, but I couldn’t kiss. The motion was foreign to me, and I cannot comprehend what another person wants with touch.
I like hanging onto people for support when I am uncertain or unsteady.
It needs to be a person I can trust, and one I know I am allowed to touch, but I will cling in what I’m sure is a very annoying manner to their arm or shoulder. When I was tired in a crowd I would find my mum and hold onto her but as a teenager I stopped because she got annoyed (once).
So I can’t touch my mum anymore unless we are sitting down.
Instead I stand too close to a person I trust to look after me, not touching but just there. Personal space is strange and I know I’m ignoring it but I need other people for balance.
I don’t like being hugged because it constricts me.
But an arm around my shoulder is strength and support from the right people.
I wish I could say this out loud.
I know that if I hug someone, it is a non-verbal cue. “I like you,” it says, silently, “you can touch me if you want to. I’m touching you, so it’s ok if you want to touch me.”
Some people don’t understand that a hug only allows so much touch back.
My hugs don’t allow for me to be held in a way that isn’t protective or affectionate. And if I push you off me without words, it’s because when I am scared I can’t talk.
Because when I’m scared I say things that are stupid and dangerous, so it’s better to just act.
So I can’t hug people anymore, because the silent permission to touch me apparently cannot be overridden.
I can verbally allow hugs, and I can let myself be hugged when I know to expect it, but I can’t hug first.
But I don’t hate it anymore. I need to be touched, and I know it, because without touch I am exhausted.
But there are rules. Silent rules, that even I don’t know the extent of.
My brothers and I can sit close together, but otherwise we do not touch each other, except for the youngest who I poke and tease and lead by the hand when he needs protecting.
He doesn’t complain, because we have always touched each other, sparring or in games. He doesn’t tell me I am doing it wrong.
Some people I touch because it never occurs to them I might not want to for more than a minute at a time.
My other brother, the one who is not of blood but of a choice to be family and to love each other with my unfiltered adoration and his supportive care, I touch with a mix of unconscious and conscious thoughts.
When we chose to be family, I had learned touch can be a weapon. I had learned that boys who are bigger than you can disregard your boundaries and apparently not even notice that you are upset by it.
I couldn’t sit next to him when I decided I wanted him as a part of my life. I couldn’t even sit within arms reach.
And I chose, I CHOSE to fix that. I put effort into getting a little closer until I could sit and look over his shoulder and chatter about meaningless things.
I stood looking over his shoulder once, as he sat at the table looking at the project he was working on (a jigsaw puzzle) and he looked up at me, down there by my ribs, and he smiled, and I saw another boy, one who had said he loved me (this boy has said he loves me too, he has said it laughing and affectionate and I know he means it, such a different kind of love to that one.) and my throat clenched and my chest melted and I wanted to kiss his forehead and snap something in two. I couldn’t sit beside him that day.
I can touch this boy, and though I think I’m doing it wrong he doesn’t complain.
I can’t hug him, but he is a hugger so I try to speak his language.
I don’t dislike being touched in the same way I don’t dislike speaking French - if I knew what I was doing and the people around me knew too, it would be ok. But I am stiff and uncertain, and there is a lot to think about.
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norrisainz33 · 2 months
Text
Just a Crush || OP81
☆ summary: Swimmer, y/n, is headed to the olympics and little does she know she’s f1 driver oscar piastri’s celebrity crush
☆ pairing: oscar pisatri x olympian!reader
☆ f/c and warnings: none
☆ requested: this was suggested!! tysm for the wonderful idea for a swimmer reader 🫶🏻
゚. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ゚⠀
ynuser made a post
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liked by yourbff, thenzteam, vogue, yoursibling, oscarpiastri, iamrebeccad, and 87,457 others
ynuser: your girl is in her model era 🌿 thank you to vogue for having me! make sure to check out the july issue where i talk about what it means to me to be headed to the olympics to represent new zealand, my daily routines, and my life outside of swimming! see you all in paris 🤍
view all 147 comments
yourbff: you are so effortlessly gorgeous please 😫
thenzteam: we are lucky to have you y/n!
user1: my favorite kiwi
user2: omg not y/n revealing she’s a huge fan of f1!! wait till oscar hears about this
user3: oscar who?
user2: he’s a formula 1 driver who has a massive crush on y/n
user3: omg not a vroom vroom aussie for my girl 😭
user4: stop they would be perfect 😭 they give the same energy
user2: he’s hiding in the likes 👀
iamrebeccad: some of the best shots i’ve ever seen! congrats on being in vogue and going to the olympics ❤️
ynuser: i took notes from the pro 🫶🏻
user2: omg rebecca is here too
williamsracing has posted a video
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user12: LOSCAR MY LOVES
user5: alex and logan are my fav duo im going to miss them so much
user6: james when i catch you!!! how dare you break up our family
user4: GUYS Y/N MENTIONED
user9: the way oscar blushes omg
user10: mans is down bad we have to get her to notice him
user11: alex best be texting lily rn to make that connection! our boy has like no game
user12: stoppp i’m sure he has some 😭
user11: idk he’s so quiet and reserved
user12: nahhh it’s always the quiet ones ok
user8: y/noscar is my roman empire
user13: let’s get my man to the paris
ynuser posted a story
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view story replies
user10: hey babes, congrats on the olympics. im here to lyk abt a very cool, very polite young man named oscar piastri
yourbff: make us proud y/n
ynuser: i’ll do my best 😭
user2: you should visit monaco and oscar piastri next
lilymhe: yayyyy let’s goooooo y/n!!! i’ll be cheering for you!!
ynuser: omg lily!! it’s been too long since i’ve seen you! let’s do something once i’ve won the gold 😉
lilymhe: yes please 🫶🏻
lilymhe: also alex told me to tell you that you have got to come to a grand prix soon - zandvoort maybe?
oscarpiastri: good luck y/n!
ynuser has made a post
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liked by alex_albon, thenzteam, oscarpiastri, vogue, ilonamaher, lilymhe, and 98,657 others
ynuser: you’re looking at the fastest woman in the 1500 freestyle! semifinals here we come 🇳🇿
view all 879 comments
yourbff: being able to be poolside cheering you on is my favorite thing
ynuser: i love you
alex_albon: congrats y/n! can’t wait to see you soon 😉
user16: ALEX WHAT ARE YOU EOING HERE
user18: SEE YOU SOON????
user22: alex is taking his job as matchmaker seriously
thenzteam: aotearoa is so proud you ❤️
ynuser: 🤍
oscarpiastri: congrats y/n!! you’re going to get the gold i just know it
ynuser: thank you oscar!! i’m certainly going to try
user2: oscar jumping up and down in his driver room rn
landonorris: user2 he is celebrating yes
user2: LANDODNJE
logansargeant: oscarpiastri thanks for saving my dog from that burning building the other day
alex_albon: thanks oscarpiastri for lending me your lambo last week
ynuser: wow! oscarpiastri can you lend me your lambo?
oscarpiastri: ynuser that can be arranged
thenzteam has made a post
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liked by ynuser, nz_swimming, yourbff, iamrebeccad, alex_albon, oscarpiastri and 67,455 others
thenzteam: she’s done it!!! y/n has won gold in the 1500 freestyle! you have made new zealand, aotearoa so very proud 🌿🇳🇿
view all 203 comments
ynuser: beyond proud to be a kiwi! 🤍
yourbff: you are a star!!! i’m so proud of you
thenzteam: we love you 🫶🏻 now it’s time for you to get some rest!
user18: LETS GOOO Y/N!!!!
user20: i love watching women succeed
lilymhe: CONGRATS MS GIRL
alex_albon: yes!!! congrats ms y/n!!!!!
oscarpiastri: bwoah!! let’s go!
user22: oh oscar is this all you’ve got
landonorris: user22 nah he’s got more just give him a minute
oscarpiastri: lando please
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ynuser has posted a story
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view all story replies
lilymhe: i missed you so much my olympic golden girl. i’m so glad you’re here 🫶🏻
ynuser: i missed you too my queen 🧡
user28: OMG YOURE IN ZANDVOORT OMG OMGOMGOGKGOGMGMGG
iamrebeccad: the way i jumped for joy when you told me you were coming!!! i can’t wait for dinner tonight
ynuser: neither can i!! i am really looking forward to meeting carlos too
user44: zandvoort!!! on race weekend!!!!! you’re giving our polite cat a chance!!!!
user45: girly we know exactly where you are 🤭
ynuser has made a post
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liked by alex_albon, iamrebeccad, lilymhe, oscarpiastri, thenzteam, and 91,234 others
ynuser: some much needed downtime after paris but don’t worry i still got some laps in 🥹
tagged: lilymhe, iamrebeccad, mclarenf1
view all 867 comments
user56: not her tagging mclaren and not oscar LOL
user87: THOUGHT YOU COULD SNEAK IN THATBLAST PIC HUH
user45: that’s gotta be oscar
user87: it’s absolutely him ain’t no way
mclarenf1: was wonderful getting to have an olympic gold medalist in our garage this weekend!! thank you for visiting 🧡
ynuser: thank you for having me mclaren 🧡
oscarpiastri: hey that’s my car
ynuser: yeah and you didn’t let me borrow it like you said you would 😭
oscarpiastri: i’ll lend you one that’s a little less dangerous! you’re precious cargo after all 😉
landonorris: ok , leave me out of the pics… i thought we were friends??
ynuser: my bad dawg! didn’t realize we were chill like that
landonorris: well we’re not anymore!!
alex_albon: my work here is done! team torque for the win
logansargeant: mission accomplished
lilymhe: girls u know everyone can see your comments
user45: CONFIRMED! THANKS ALBONO AND LOGIE
user46: AHHHHHHHHHHHH
゚. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ゚⠀
a/n: another olympic reader!!! i love sports player reader. next up - olympic!tennis!reader.
a/n: made some updates to my blog and made a masterlist wahoo!! ty for all the support
゚. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ゚⠀
© norrisainz33: please do not rewrite, translate, or copy any of my works posted here on to any other platform
2K notes · View notes
snoopyracing · 2 months
Text
wanna be yours 2.0 // ln4 social media au // part one
part two | part three
pairing: lando norris X american!reader / mclaren photographer!reader and slight pato o'ward X reader
warnings: swearing
summary: a remix of my fic wanna be yours in social media au form. or basically lando and the reader both being in love with each other but being too stubborn and scared to say anything so they suffer in silence until one finally crumbles.
contains: best friends to slight strangers to lovers, pining, angst, jealous!lando, asshole!lando, clueless!lando, and perhaps a little lando or pato? situation.
masterlist
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
may 5th, 2024
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liked by landonorris, y/bsf, oscarpiastri and 100,000 others
y/n.jpg: miami baby! i think the guy in the second pic won some kind of race involving super fast cars but i could be wrong.
landonorris: who is that guy???? he's really good looking...
↳ y/n.jpg: i think his name is lando onewin.
↳ landonorris: bye. that doesn't even work.
user1: you always take such good pics of lando.. thank u queen
user2: lando always being the first to comment. dude's down bad lol
y/bsf: the kids miss you. please come home.
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may 6th, 2024
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may 8th, 2024
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may 9th, 2024
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liked by landonorris, mclaren, patricooward and 200,000 others
y/n.jpg: back at the mtc today for a very special reason! everyone was there to celebrate my amazing photography skills and editing on all the pictures from the season so far! lando was even kind enough to show up with a trophy to give to me! i love my job <3
in all seriousness. could not be more proud of you lando!!! it's been a long time coming, but we both know it's only the beginning!
landonorris: that awkward moment when you tried to take the trophy from me....
↳ y/n.jpg: DON'T SAY THAT PEOPLE ARE GONNA THINK IT'S TRUE.
↳ landonorris: i'll make sure they engrave the next one with your name too.
↳ y/n.jpg: ok but as long as my name is listed first.
mclaren: our favorite photographer ❤️ -liked by author
user1: ok but where is y/n's trophy fr??? she's hands down one of the best photographers in the game rn.
user2: y/n and lando you are so dear to me
user3: pato in the likes??
↳ user4: y/n used to work for arrow mclaren before working for mclaren f1. also pato is literally the reserve driver for f1 this season... honestly the web that is y/n, lando, and pato intertwines so much it's kinda crazy...
may 11th, 2024
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may 14th, 2024
y/n.jpg added to their story
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landonorris replied to your story
↳ WHY WOULD YOU POST THAT??? IT'S MORE THAN A JUMPSCARE!
oscarpiastri replied to your story
↳ why do you always catching me folding in front of lando like that :/
may 15th, 2024
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may 19th, 2024
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liked by y/bsf, oscarpiastri, patricooward and 100,000 others
y/n.jpg: imola 2024.
y/bsf: best photographer in the world. i love you!!! -liked by author
user1: not even a pic of lando's car.... oh no :/
user2: no funny caption... no lando like or comment... guys we are in the trenches
user3: we love you y/n! -liked by author
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may 21st, 2024
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y/n.jpg added to their story
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landonorris replied to your story
↳ what the hell?
2K notes · View notes
pixiesndberries · 9 months
Text
𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝐅𝐔𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄 𝐇𝐔𝐒𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐃, 𝐉𝐉𝐊 𝐌𝐄𝐍 —
a small series of Jujutsu Kaisen men as your husband !
☆ OUR STARS : Gojo Satoru, Nanami Kento, Geto Suguru, Choso Kamo, Aoi Todo, Toji Fushiguro, and more !
━ REQUESTED BY : none
━⁠ WARNINGS : none
ෆ PIXIE'S NOTE ! : were back again at daily posting 🙏🏻 to my pookies who supported me, y'all made me giggle and kickin' my feet in my bed last night 👉🏻👈🏻 love lots!
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GOJO SATORU, as your husband !
• Gojo being your husband is no different from being your boyfriend — he still gotta be that same person you dated few years ago, though he became more serious about situations and decisions because you guys are married but his goofy, annoying, clingy side is still there — I mean when he met you and been with you for like two weeks your caller name is already set as 'wifey'.
Gojo who totally acts like a mom when you leave for work, he is like a freaking HOUSEWIFE —
"honey!" he sings as he walks into the living room seeing you brush your hair Infront of the mirror, getting ready for work. "hmm?" you responded and quickly turns your head at him — he's wearing a this is what an awesome husband looks like apron which made you too stunned to speak, "I created a bento for you." he smiles as he hands out a nicely wrapped bento box which was really new to you because it's always you who keep creating bentos for him, usually when he leaves for a mission.
"thank you, honey." you say softly with a warm smile as you accept his bento that he specially created for you, he can't help but to feel like a love sick teenager seeing you smile like that. He officially takes the position of being a housewife 🫡
Gojo who couldn't stop talking about the future he wants with you like nonstop — this man would talk about having three million carbon copy of him with you and would name them after megumi, yuji, nanami and basically all of his friends, students, and dead relatives 🏃🏻‍♀️💨 — I FEEL LIKE HE GOTTA BE THAT TYPE OF PERSON.
Gojo always flexes you everyday and YOU are his hyper fixation — argue with the wall, he gotta be the type of man to say "she's my wife." randomly when he's talking to an old friend he haven't seen for a long time. HE WILL BE THE HUSBAND WHO YOU WILL SEE WEARING "I LOVE MY WIFE" TYPE OF SHIRT WITH THE UGLIEST FONT AND PHOTO TEMPLATE EVER. Once a person mentions your name he ain't gonna shut the fuck up.
I just know this marriage go'n be like Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively's relationship 🙏🏻 ABSOLUTELY RANDOM TEXTS FROM HIM, UPDATING YOU TOO MUCH.
2:32 pm
gojo : shitting at the mall cuz i don't have anywhere to shit on.
gojo : [sent an attachment]
gojo : i miss you my wife, my beautiful wife.
gojo : [sent an attachment]
gojo : [sent an attachment]
gojo : your very handsome husband ❤️
2:40 pm
you : stop spamming me messages love, im at work 🙏🏻
gojo : why? is it turning you on 😏
you : that's a photo of your feet.
Gojo who became a seriously hands on person when you told him that you're pregnant — when he has missions with yuji, megumi, or maybe nobara and you told him that you're very tired to do anything today he will be like,"okay kids, I got to go I have important things to do." and dashed away before they could say something and mf arrived at yalls house within a second.
Gojo who cried when he carry his baby for the first time, he was sobbing like hell — girl dad? boy dad? BRO HE IS BOTH ‼️ "okay we'll name this one suguru and this one-" he is going to come up with the most ridiculous names, probably the worst one was his dead ancestor.
okay seriously, Gojo would be a full time dad after his children were born — he will always stay at home as much as he can, having twins isn't easy plus he's trying to help you with his full power and make sure you don't feel alone through this.
"gojo.." you grumble as you felt his presence disappearing next to you at bed, you open your eyes and sees he wasn't there which led you to stand up and start looking for him — you walk out of the bedroom and noticed that the twin's bedroom door was open so you check it out.
in your suprise, gojo was in the rocking chair with the twin's in his arms peacefully sleeping and he is snoring like hell. You can't help but smile seeing this moment, it warms you heart. You quickly grabbed your phone and took a quick photo, this is what you exactly wished for.
Gojo who couldn't stop posting you and his little angels and his fans are absolutely living for it, it's like his day wouldn't complete without posting cute photos of his angels and of course, you as well. Gojo is indeed a Facebook mom —
; gojosatoru
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tagged : @y/n.instagram | fam time 🤍 !
liked by megumi.22 and 8,957 others
itaaa.yuji | I volunteer as a tribute to babysit them 🫡
nobaraaa | CUTIES.
shokoleiri.7 | adorbs
─ REBLOGS, LIKES, AND COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED FEEL FREE TO REQUEST!
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witchywithwhiskey · 3 months
Text
a birthday ended with a bang
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pairing: best friend!steve rogers x female reader
summary: your best friend picks you up for some ice cream on his birthday on the fourth of july and things escalate.
warnings: 18+ content (minors dni!!!), smut, sexual tension, kissing, dry humping/dry sex, dirty talk, praise kink, pet names (sunshine, baby), aftercare, very quick friends to lovers
word count: 4.1k
a/n: ooof i have been suffering from the worst writer's block and i seriously didn't think i was gonna be able to post anything for steve's birthday, which would've made me so sad. i finally got through the worst of it i think, as of yesterday, but so this was written in a rush and i'm sorry if it's not very good but i tried!!!! anyway i hope everyone has a happy steve's birthday ❤️🤍💙
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I’m picking you up in 10.
It was just after sunset on the Fourth of July, the sky still fading from a glowing indigo into the deep midnight blue of night, when the text from your best friend Steve Rogers came through. 
His text came as a surprise. Steve had been scheduled to work all day and he’d said he just wanted to go home and sleep after, so you hadn’t thought you’d see him. Instead, you had plans to celebrate his birthday on the weekend, but you’d have been a liar if you’d said you weren’t disappointed you wouldn’t get to see him on his actual birthday.
So you were excited by his text—but less so by the implication he would be taking you somewhere.
After all, you’d already gotten comfy and cozy in your bed, wearing a skimpy tank top and shorts you’d sleep in, and you didn’t want to get dressed again. Thankfully, you knew Steve wouldn’t care what you wore, but you were a nice friend, so as you dragged yourself out of your comfortable bed, you sent him a warning. 
i’m already in my pjs
By the time he replied, five minutes had already gone by. You’d managed to collect your keys and wallet from your bag, shoving them in a little wristlet that you looped around your arm as you stuffed your feet into some sandals. You read his text as you pushed through the door to your little cottage, prepared to wait the other five minutes for him in the cool July evening. 
Idc what you’re wearing. It’s my birthday and we’re getting ice cream.
You snorted a laugh, hearing your best friend’s bossy tone in your head, shaking your head to yourself at how much you loved it while you locked your door. Shoving your phone in your wristlet, you sat down on the top step of your porch and watched the neighborhood kids run through the yards along the street waving sparklers through the air.
Steve’s truck rolled to a stop in front of your small yard exactly 10 minutes after he’d texted you. An easy smile pulled up the corners of your mouth and you bounded down your wooden stairs, hurling yourself into the cab of your best friend’s truck.
“Happy birthday!” you cried as soon as you were inside. You tossed your wristlet on the dash and slid across the bench seat to throw your arms around Steve’s neck, hugging him tight while you pressed a smacking kiss to his cheek. 
His low laugh was like warm honey trickling down your spine, his breath skimming past your cheek and making goosebumps raise all up and down your arms. Your heart thumped in your chest and you buried your face in your best friend’s shoulder, ignoring the way your body was reacting—like it always did when you got too close to Steve. 
Seemingly unaware of your plight, Steve’s hand settled on your forearm, squeezing softly before his warm palm slid up to your shoulder, his other arm digging into the seat and wrapping around your waist to haul you closer. You let out a little squeak of surprise, burying your face further in his shoulder to hide the fact that you were enjoying the way he held you far too much. 
“Thank you, sunshine,” Steve rumbled, resting his head on the crown of yours as he hugged you back. For a long, long moment, the two of you sat entwined together in Steve’s truck, just enjoying the feeling of being close, though you suspected it meant much more to you than it did to your best friend.
Finally, when you realized the hug might be getting weird, and bordering on something more-than-friendly, you extricated yourself from Steve, smiling up at him as you broke the quiet. “Let’s go get some ice cream,” you said, your voice a little lower and raspier than normal as you stared into his achingly familiar blue eyes. 
A grin spread slowly across Steve’s face, and you felt your heart beat unsteadily in your chest at the devastating handsomeness of the expression. But thankfully Steve looked away and your lungs spasmed, begging you to breathe, so you sucked in some air while your best friend grabbed a ball of fabric from the backseat of his truck.
“Here, I’ve got the windows down,” he said, pushing the garment into your hands. 
Only when you shook it out did you see it was one of Steve’s hoodies, the navy blue sweatshirt massive to fit over your best friend’s broad shoulders. On the front, to one side and below the collar, Steve’s name was stitched into the cotton. Your heart gave another flip at the thought of wearing Steve’s name stitched over your chest. 
“I don’t want you getting cold,” your best friend murmured, his voice lower and rougher. When you looked back at him, Steve wore an expression you couldn’t quite interpret, his gaze almost possessive. It made something low in your belly squirm.
Swallowing thickly, you turned your attention to tugging the hoodie over your head, inhaling the familiar scent of Steve’s cologne. For the brief moment when your face was hidden, you closed your eyes in pleasure, feeling your body heat—from more than just the warmth of the sweatshirt. Then you pulled the fabric down over your head and stuffed your arms into the sleeves.
The hoodie was big on you, but you loved the feel of it, and you smiled up at Steve to show your appreciation. Your best friend was wearing a pleased smirk, his eyes a little hooded as they raked over the sight of you in his sweatshirt. 
“Looks good on you, sunshine,” he rumbled, something new in his tone that you’d never heard before. 
“Thanks, Stevie,” you whispered shyly, wrapping your arms around yourself. You felt a little awkward under the weight of his gaze, his eyes feeling like they were burning you up from the inside out, so you gave your best friend a goofy grin and said, “Now’m all nice and toasty.” 
Steve snorted a laugh, which broke the tension between the two of you, the mood in the truck lightening instantly. Shaking his head and wiping a hand over his face, Steve turned back to the steering wheel, and shifted his truck into drive.
You started to move into the passenger seat, intent on buckling up, but Steve’s big hand shot out and he grabbed your thigh, just below where the hem of your pajama shorts ended. His palm was warm, his fingers slightly rough with callouses, and you were immediately, acutely aware of the fact that Steve had never, ever touched you there before.
Heat crashed through your core as you sucked in a gasp of surprise. Instinctively, your fingers closed around your best friend’s wrist, holding him where he was, making sure he kept touching you. You stared down at his hand, your mind spinning a little at the sight of him clutching your thigh.
Steve’s fingers dug lightly into your thigh, almost reflexively, like he couldn’t help himself from seeing just how soft you were beneath his hand. Before you could do more than squeak out a quiet sound of delight, though, Steve pulled away and cleared his throat. The fingers of the hand that had been touching you curled and flexed like he already missed your softness.
“Want you close,” Steve muttered, his tone almost apologetic, like was asking for forgiveness for grabbing you so suddenly. His eyes dropped to somewhere near your feet and you watched as his adam’s apple bobbed in his throat. “Please, sunshine.” His plea was rough and so quiet you had a hard time hearing it over the sound of the fireworks your neighbors were setting off at random intervals.
“‘Course, Steve,” you said, your own voice soft and breathy, almost sounding sultry to your ears. You swallowed to wash away some of the throatiness, and tried to put on a light, friendly tone to steer you and Steve back to something normal—not whatever alternate universe you’d entered when you’d gotten in his truck. “You want birthday cuddles, you’ll get birthday cuddles.”
Steve let out a small snort and, as you watched, a tension you hadn’t realized had been there drained from his shoulders. Your best friend’s eyes raised back to yours, a flicker of something restless and reckless coursing through you while a small smirk tugged at the corners of his soft lips. 
“Yeah, sunshine, gimme some birthday cuddles.” 
When you’d said the words, they had sounded friendly, innocent even. But there was something in Steve’s voice that sent a shiver racing down your spine, heat simmering between your thighs. You told yourself he hadn’t intended his words to have such a reaction and pushed your body’s desirous response to the back of your mind as you shifted into the middle seat.
Carefully, you tucked yourself into Steve’s side, wrapping your arms around his bicep and clinging to him like he was your favorite stuffed animal. The bare skin of your leg brushed against the rough denim of his jeans and you trembled slightly, the sensation feeling far more erotic than it should. Steve’s hand landed on your leg just above your knee.
It was, ostensibly, a much more friendlier grip on you, but you felt arousal flare, hot and quick, in your core. Again, you ignored it and tipped your face up, planting your chin on the edge of Steve’s broad shoulder as you smiled up at him. Steve ducked down, kissing your nose and making you giggle, seemingly back to his normal self—your slightly silly best friend.
“Alright, let’s get some ice cream,” Steve rumbled, repeating your words while he gave your knee a squeeze, using his other hand to turn his truck around on your street and head in the direction of town.
There was a slight chill in the air as it swirled through the open windows of the truck cab, the heat of the July day having burned off and leaving only the coolness of night. Thanks to Steve’s hoodie, and the way your body was pressed into his warmth, you didn’t feel anything but comfortable, the breeze tickling your cheeks and making you smile. 
For a little while, you rode in silence with your best friend, but your mind kept straying to the feeling of Steve’s hand on your leg, to the memory of him gripping your thigh. You couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like to have his big hands roaming all over your body, groping your thighs and hips…and other things. 
To distract yourself, you raised your voice above the wind and asked, “How was work?”
“It was fine,” Steve answered, his deep rumble sending a tremor of delight through your body. 
His eyes were on the road since he was navigating his truck through the town where you both lived, making turns to get to the small ice cream shop that would be open late for the holiday business. Still, Steve managed to shoot you a smile that made your insides flutter as he went on. 
“I would’ve much rather gone to the fair with you, though.”
A melty, gooey heat swirled in your belly and you squeezed his arm in yours, hiding a big, beaming grin in your best friend’s shoulder at his comment. When you managed to get control of yourself so you didn’t look like a lovesick fool, you raised your face again.
“We’re going on Saturday,” you reminded him, still smiling a little goofily. “Are you going to win me a new stuffie?” 
“Sunshine,” Steve started, using one hand to turn his truck into the small parking lot of the ice cream shop. “I’m going to win you all the stuffies.” His voice was warm and affectionate and you couldn’t help the way your heart beat unsteadily at his promise. Your best friend was none the wiser, though, as he parked his truck and turned to you. “C’mon.”
Steve helped you climb down from his truck, lacing his fingers through yours as you walked into the shop. It was busy, families and groups of friends getting some last-minute ice cream before heading over to the fireworks just outside of town. Steve and you fell into an easy conversation, your best friend asking you about your day to pass time while you waited in line. 
Once it was your turn to order, you asked for your favorite in a cone, then Steve got a couple scoops of dark chocolate in a sugar cone. You fought with Steve over who was going to pay. He insisted he should pay because he’d dragged you out of bed, and you argued it was his birthday and there was no way you were going to let him pay. 
Unfortunately, Steve’s arms were longer than yours and he was able to shove his card across the counter farther than you could. Grumbling about your stubborn best friend, you dropped a couple dollars into the tip jar and grabbed your ice cream. Steve followed you out, laughing at your poutiness and led you back to his truck, opening the driver side door for you and holding your cone while you got in.
Without being asked, you sat in the middle seat again, and held Steve’s ice cream while he drove, pushing it in his face whenever it started dripping. Both of you were laughing at the ridiculousness of him licking up the dripping ice cream while trying to drive by the time Steve pulled onto a dirt road that led up a hill beyond the edge of town.
After a few minutes, the trees parted into a clearing at the top of the hill and Steve rolled his truck to a stop, putting it in park overlooking the field where the town’s Fourth of July fireworks display would be. Wordlessly, you handed him his ice cream and the two of you sat in comfortable silence waiting for the show to begin while you enjoyed your sweet treat together. 
Steve finished his cone first, and you could feel his gaze on you while you licked up the last remnants of creamy goodness. You popped the last little bit of your cone into your mouth with a satisfied hum, your tongue licking sticky sweetness from your lips. 
“You have something on your…” Steve trailed off when you turned to him, his eyes dropping to your mouth and sliding along the curve of them. 
You felt his gaze like a physical thing, heat settling heavily in your core as warmth bloomed between your thighs. Then his thumb was following the the path of his eyes, swiping away some ice cream from the edge of your mouth that your tongue hadn’t been able to reach. 
Acting on impulse, and not questioning where it came from, you chased after Steve’s thumb, your tongue darting out to click the sweetness from the pad of his finger. Since your eyes were fixed on your best friend’s face, you watched his blue gaze darken and go heavy-lidded, his own mouth falling open with surprise. 
Heat filled your cheeks, making your face feel like it was on fire. “Umm,” you said, not knowing what else to say. 
It was on the tip of your tongue to apologize for licking your best friend, but just then, the first boom, pop and fizzle of fireworks sounded. Dazzling red light distracted you from Steve for a moment, dragging your eyes away to watch the fireworks display begin. You’d jumped at the first boom, the loud noise surprising you.
It was nothing, though, compared to the shock you felt when Steve grabbed your face, turned you back to him and ducked his head to capture your lips in a fierce kiss. Air filled your lungs as you sucked in a sharp breath, your body frozen while you sat there stunned, unable to do anything but feel the softness of Steve’s lips against yours.
Another sharp boom from overhead shocked you enough to make you jump again, and suddenly you remembered how to move. Your hands curled into the front of Steve’s shirt, clinging to him as you surged forward, pressing your lips harder against your best friend’s. 
Steve groaned low in his throat and your response seemed to unleash something within your best friend. Between one breath and the next, he was hauling you into his lap, your legs were straddling his thighs and his mouth was doing its best to devour yours.
You could taste the chocolate on his tongue as it slipped between your lips, exploring every inch of you and stroking against your own. Giddy excitement and heated desire swirled through your body, making you feel like you could float away as you and your best friend tasted and explored each other. 
Your hands uncurled from Steve’s shirt and slid up his shoulders, diving into the soft blond hair at the nape of his neck. He groaned again when you raked your nails softly against his scalp, his mouth going soft and slack as tremors of delight wracked his broad shoulders. 
“Fuck, sunshine,” Steve grunted, his hands pushing beneath the hem of the hoodie you wore so he could grope your hips. You rocked into him, wringing another moan of pleasure from your best friend when your heated core pressed against the bulge in his jeans. “You have no idea how long I’ve dreamed about feeling you like this.”
“Steve, I—”
Your response was cut short by your best friend’s teeth nipping at your bottom lip, making you whine and grind harder against his lap. Steve swallowed your sounds of pleasure, his big hands groping and kneading the soft flesh of your hips and thighs like he couldn’t get enough. It was better than you ever could’ve imagined.
“That’s it, sunshine, ride your best friend’s bulge,” Steve rumbled, a little bit of teasing in his tone. His lips trailed kisses along your jaw and down your neck. He sucked on the skin over your pounding pulse, pulling a whimpering sound from your mouth that was unlike any noise you’d ever made. “Ya gonna come on my cock, baby? Gonna come before we even take our clothes off?”
Your best friend’s filthy words poured over you like gasoline on a fire, turning the heat in your blood into a raging inferno. “Steve, god, please, I need…” You tried to form a coherent thought, your lips gasping for breath in between every false start, your hips working harder and faster as you chased your pleasure.
“Good girl, baby, take what you need,” Steve cooed in your ear, his hands slipping beneath your tank top and groping your tits. He plucked at your nipples, rolling the pebbled peaks between his fingers and making your eyes roll back in your head, your loud moans filling the cab of his truck and nearly drowning out the sounds of the fireworks from the field beyond. “Ride my bulge, sunshine, make yourself come all over my cock.” 
You were making a mess in your panties and shorts, your arousal soaking through the thin garments until you were certain you were leaving a wet spot behind on Steve’s jeans, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. Not when your clit was rubbing just right against the bulge pressing against his fly. 
“Oh god, Steve, ‘m gonna…” 
Your hips worked frantically, humping against Steve’s cock through both your clothes while he murmured encouraging words in your ear and played with your tits until he figured out what made you squirm and writhe the most. Then he kept that up until you were suddenly at the edge.
“Come for me, sunshine, come for your best friend.”
Steve’s words were what did you in. His soft, murmured urging pushed you off the ledge and sent you tumbling into pleasure as you came for him.
Your arms locked around your best friend’s shoulders, nails digging into the back of his neck as bliss like you’d never known swept through your body, leaving you a shaking, trembling mess. Mindless moans and whimpers slipped from your lips, your hips still bucking on Steve’s lap as you rode out your release.
It wasn’t until Steve let loose a guttural groan, a warm wetness spreading through the jeans pressed against your bare thighs, that you realized he was coming too. You wrenched your eyes open, your gaze locking with his, seeing your own pleasure mirrored in his sparkling blue depths. Then your mouths were colliding, both of you having surged forward to meet somewhere in the middle.
The kiss was messy, mouths sliding and teeth knocking, both of you swallowing down the pleasured sounds of the other. Steve’s hands gripped your hips hard, fingers digging into your softness, helping you rock on his lap while you both rode out your releases and shuddered through the last remnants of pleasure together. 
Finally, when you were sated, your lips broke free and you pressed your forehead to Steve’s, closing your eyes as you tried to catch your breath. You could hardly believed what had just happened, and your mind struggled to catch up. 
“Christ, sunshine,” Steve rasped, his own chest still heaving shallowly. His hands were idly kneading your hips, like he was soothing any pain that might be there. “I really didn’t plan on doing anything more than getting ice cream for my birthday, but this was—wow.”
You giggled at the awe in Steve’s voice, leaning back enough that you could see him properly. His handsome, familiar face was slack from satisfaction, a dazed smile curving his mouth. Unable to help yourself, you ducked forward and sucked his lower lip into your mouth, making him groan like he was in pain. Beneath you, you felt his cock twitch, and you laughed again as you sat back.
“If you want, we can ditch the rest of the fireworks show and go back to my place?” you suggested, an eager smile on your face. 
Steve chuckled, wrapping his arms around your waist and leaning forward until every inch of your chests were pressed together. You could feel the steady beating rhythm of his heart against your sternum, making your smile soften as you melted in your best friend’s arms.
“Sunshine, the fireworks are already over,” he murmured before capturing your lips in a kiss. When he broke away, he left you panting. “And if you think I’m doing anything other than taking you home and taking you to bed…” He trailed off, getting distracted by pressing kisses against your jaw. 
You hummed in acknowledgement, but then a thought suddenly occurred to you and you had to bite back a laugh. “Your birthday is on the Fourth of July,” you began in a leading tone. “And you know what that means, Stevie?” 
Instead of responding, Steve sank his teeth lightly into skin over your thrumming pulse, sucking and licking like he was intent on marking you with his mouth. Your thoughts scattered for a moment, your head tipping to the side to give him better access while your fingers raked idly through his soft blond hair.
It took you a second, but you managed to finish your thought. 
“Because it’s the Fourth of July, we have to end your birthday with a bang,” you murmured, unable to stop yourself from giggling at your own joke.
Steve, on the other hand, groaned. His mouth abandoned your neck as he buried his face in your chest, reluctant laughter shaking his shoulders. Before you could poke him and get him to admit he liked your joke, Steve was flipping you onto your back, laying you down on his truck’s bench seat and slotting his hips between your thighs. His revived bulge bumped against your heated core, making you moan softly.
“Y’know what, sunshine? You’re right,” Steve rumbled, his blue eyes sparkling with humor and affection as he stared down at you. There was so much emotion in his gaze, it nearly stole all the breath from your lungs. “We’ll end my birthday with a bang.” His hands began to strip you out of the hoodie he’d given you to wear, his gaze hungry and determined. “We’re gonna see if I can make you scream louder than those fireworks.” 
Your laughter dissolved into a hot, hungry heat. You pulled Steve down at the same moment he ducked his head, your lips crashing together in a fiery kiss that fogged up the windows of his truck, your bodies working together toward the same goal.
Between you and your best friend, you made sure the Fourth of July—and, more importantly, Steve’s birthday—ended with a bang.
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yuwuta · 6 months
Text
JUST KEEP LOVING ME THE WAY I LOVE YOU LOVING ME — SATORU GOJO
pairings. satoru gojo/reader
content, warnings. non-curse au, doctor au (reader), ceo au (satoru), no real content warnings, fluff, satoru is nothing but a romantic at heart
word count. 3k
notes. this exists in the post-completion au of a larger universe/incomplete fic of mine, that i will hopefully finish someday lololol but this is way easier to write than that so here you go 🥳
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“There are four chairs worth a collective seventy-five hundred dollars in this office, so, pray, tell, why is your ass on my desk?” 
Satoru grins at your words, too distracted by taking in the sight of you to take into consideration the underlying threat. It’s been far too long, almost three whole days since he’s last seen you and, god, you look good. He knows if he said that you’d roll your eyes and insist that there’s nothing good-looking about your worn-in business attire and lab coat that was in desperate need of laundering, but it wouldn’t change his opinion: you always look good, and Satoru really fucking missed you. 
Which is why he doesn’t say the words, but makes sure to throw a deceivingly charming wink your way so that you get the message anyway. As expected, you still roll your eyes, but he doesn’t mind; you look good doing that, too.
“Seriously, Satoru, what are you doing here?” you question, closing the door behind you when you fully step into the room. You make pace towards your desk, attempting to get to the other side, but this is exactly why Satoru chose to lean against it instead of sitting on any one of your very expensive and comfortable chairs—because this way, he’s in the perfect position to intercept your path and pull you to fit neatly between his legs before you can even think about reaching your office chair and ignoring him. 
He pulls you by the loop of your lab coat, but his hands quickly find their way to your shoulders, unpeeling the white layer just enough so that your blouse is exposed to him, and he can slowly rub his palms against your arms and shoulders with just enough pressure to hopefully release some tension. You won’t let go of all of it, but that’s alright, because Satoru’s got other methods for taking care of you.
“Hi,” he calls, smiling gently down at you, “I missed you.” 
This close, Satoru can see the exhaustion clearly in your eyes. There’s more, too: frustration, guilt, worry—and it takes everything in him not to coo and pull you into his chest and do his best to shield you from the world forever. 
There’s a beat before you speak, a small sigh, that’s quickly painted over with a tired smile and a remorseful, “I missed you, too. I’m sorry for being so short, the interim chief has been getting on my last nerves, and—”
“You don’t have to apologize,” Satoru cuts in, leaning forward to press a reassuring kiss to your forehead. He likes that he can feel you relax under his touch. “I know you’re busy. I just missed you.” 
It’s not easy to share you with anything or anyone, but Satoru knows that even on the hardest days, you love your job, and that so many people need your brilliant mind. What he does mind is when people make your job harder than it needs to be, and he’s been getting an earful about this new interim chief from just about everybody—you, Kento, Yuuji, Ieiri, even some of your favorite scrub nurses have indulged him in the gossip about the newest common enemy—and he doesn’t appreciate that someone is putting extra stress on his baby. So, even if it is a makeshift massage in your office and distracting you from your paperwork, Satoru will do what he can to help you relieve tension. 
You reach your arms to wrap them around his shoulders, taking a half step closer to him, peering up at him. Satoru loves when your arms are around his neck like this; he can’t quite pinpoint why—maybe it’s the way you have to crane your neck to look up at him, the way you’re perfectly nestled under his view, the feeling of being wrapped in you. He does his best to close the loop of your intimacy, resting his hands on the small of your back and pulling you impossibly closer and pressing a kiss to your forehead. He likes that he can feel you relax into his touch.
“You’re sweet,” you smile, rubbing your thumb against the shorter hairs at the back of his head. Satoru feels himself melt into you, too. It’s been too long since you’ve been this close, three whole days too long. “Thank you.”
“Nothing to thank me for, baby,” he smiles, stealing a gentle kiss. Satoru loves this the most, loves the feeling of your lips on his—and it’s definitely been too long since he’s kissed you, so he makes sure to do it again, and once more after that for good measure. 
But it’s not enough. He’ll have to take you home, sit you on the couch so he can kiss you all night and make up for the lack of kisses and touches and youness he’s been deprived of these past few days. But first, he’ll have to pull you away from your work, and that’s not easy work. 
“Come home,” he muses, leaning his forehead against yours, “We can order in, and share your favorite bottle of wine, and watch a movie.” 
You lean up to kiss him briefly. “Every time we share a bottle of wine, we end up making out and not watching anything.” 
“Do we?” Satoru feigns innocence, “I never noticed. Doesn’t sound like a bad idea, though.”
“Satoru,” you whisper, quiet but firm, with a smile that lets him know you want to, but you can’t. It’s a tone that Satoru knows all too well, and isn’t particularly fond of. “I have charts to finish.” 
“Finish them tomorrow,” he steals another kiss, “Or pawn them off on Kento,” another kiss, “Or Yuuji. Residents always need more experience—isn’t that what you and Ieiri always say?” 
You let him kiss you again, and again, and again. Each time a little longer, a little warmer, a little less innocent than the last, growing from a little, to a lot, to all-consuming. Satoru hums when he feels your nails raking through his hair; an unfortunate move, as the sound pulls you back to reality and away from him in a decrescendo of kisses. 
“You’re really good at that,” you laugh, voice soft. 
“At kissing?” Satoru dips his head down to taste your laughter against his lips, “Thanks, I’ve had a lot of practice with a very pretty girl.” 
“No,” and you’re laughing again, louder this time, and Satoru counts every little giggle as a victory, “You’re good at... seducing me without saying you’re seducing me.”
“Oh, that?” he grins, tucking his pointer and index finger under your chin to meet you in a knowing kiss, “Yeah, that’s a talent of mine, too.”
You let him steal one more, and Satoru doesn’t take it for granted. “Come home,” he whispers against your lips before slotting them in yet another kiss, “I miss you.” 
And he can feel it when you finally break, sighing into the kiss, and melting into his touch completely. One more, he just needs one more kiss to seal the deal, and then—“Fine,” you concede, “But I get to choose where to get dinner from.” 
“Of course, sweets, whatever you want,” Satoru grins, pulling back to kiss your forehead again, “Now—shall we? If we order in the car, we can probably pick it up on our way home.”
He’s in the home stretch now, but he’s not completely free: if you catch a glimpse of your work, or someone comes in to find you, or your godforsaken pager beeps then all of his plans could come crumbling down before him. The key to transitioning from the “you’ve agreed to come home with him early stage”—if you can count 9:45pm, coming off of a 17-hour work day as early—to the “we are actually leaving this hospital and nobody can stop us phase” is swiftness. This time period is critical, and Satoru is ready for the sprint. 
He shimmies your lab coat all the way off of your body for you, checking for the weight of your pager in your right pocket, before hanging it on the back of your chair. He shoos you to grab your coat, and makes sure you don’t get within three feet of this side of your desk—taking your purse out of your locked drawer and closing an open file folder in the time it takes you to slip out of your heels and into your sneakers, and by the time you’re turning back around, Satoru is already there next to you, with your purse in one hand, and his other hovering on the light switch. 
He makes sure you’re out the door first, and flickers off the light with a satisfied grin. His baby was coming home early with him, and there is nothing else he’d rather do than spend time pampering you. 
You must truly be more tired than you know, because you make no protest when he slings an arm over your shoulder on your way out of the elevator. Usually, you chastise him for any PDA within hospital walls, but tonight you let it be, even leaning some of your body weight against his as you walk. Satoru’s not complaining at all, maybe he’ll try his luck and sneak a kiss on your cheek. 
He decides to go for it, leaning over for a kiss, when you suddenly pull away, turning and patting against your side. Confused, and disappointed, Satoru pouts, “We’ve really got to work on this fear of affection you’ve got going on, sweets. It’s the leading cause of makesatorupout-itis.” 
“We’ve been over this—you can’t just add “itis” to the end of your words to make them diagnostic,” you giggle, “I was looking for my keys.”
Satoru’s frown deepens. “You have the fancy reserved doctor parking space, they can’t tow you. So, we can take my car home.” 
“No, we cannot, because I do not trust you to wake up and drive me back tomorrow morning.” 
“Then I’ll get you a cab in the morning, or—even better, I’ll call Ichiji to pick you up.” 
“Ichiji is still in Paris,” you remind him. Satoru purses his lips. He did ask Ichiji to stay with Megumi. Damn it.
“I have other cars, you can drive one of them in the morning.” 
“And park it where?” 
“In your fancy reserved doctor parking—oh, okay I see the flaw there,” Satoru pulls back. You find amusement in his disappointment, but he doesn’t think there’s anything funny here. 
He shakes his head. He should have taken a cab from his office, but this is okay, a minor setback, nothing he can’t think around. “New plan: we take your car, and I’ll come by to get mine tomorrow. Easy peasy.” 
“Yours will be towed by then.” 
“That’s fine,” Satoru shrugs, “I can afford a tow fee.” 
“Satoru,” you call, reaching your free hand up to place your palm against his cheek, “We both drive home. It’ll be thirty minutes, tops. Forty if there’s traffic, but if you stop pouting and we leave now, we should be fine.” 
Satoru sighs. He knows that’s the most reasonable plan of action, but the simple truth is that he doesn’t want to be away from you right now, even to go the short distance home. He’s already spent the last few days without you, and even though this is calling it in early for you, he only gets maybe four hours awake with you before you’re off again. Thinking about that makes him miss you again already. Pathetic, maybe, but he doesn’t care.
“Oh, Dr. (_____), hey!” Yuuji’s voice is an easily distinguishable interruption to your petty argument, and Satoru’s sulking, “Perfect timing—I’m glad I caught you before you left. Is it okay if I ask you to sign something before you go?” 
You easily warm up to the younger boy and agree, fondly making conversation with Yuuji as he scrolls through some documents on his tablet. And just as you’ve finished scribbling your signature along the screen, Satoru has a bright idea. 
“Hey, Yuuji, you can drive right?” Satoru questions rhetorically, already reaching for his wallet and car keys, “Great! Here’s two grand, it’s all yours if you drive this car home tonight.” Satoru smiles widely, shoving his keys and some cash into the pocket of Yuuji’s white coat. 
“What—really? Awesome! But, why—” 
Satoru dismisses his disbelief with a wave of his hand. He steps a bit closer to Yuuji, just enough to lean into his ear and tuck a couple more bills into his pocket, “And between you and me, that’s an extra three grand if you finish up a couple of charts for my lady so she can sleep in tomorrow. Not a bad deal, right?” 
“Sure, no problem!” Yuuji salutes, “I’d do anything for Dr. Almost-Gojo. Plus, if I’m busy working for her, then I don’t have to babysit cells in a dish for Dr. Gakuganji.” 
“Atta boy,” Satoru ruffles his hair, “Catch you later, Yuuji, I’ve got a hot date to get to. And tell Nanamin I say hello!” 
You elbow Satoru shallowly, a silent warning to keep his voice down, and a verbal chastising of, “It’s Dr. Itadori and Dr. Nanamin to you.”
“More like Dr. Nanameanie,” Satoru laments, resuming the position of his arm around your shoulder, “I’ve left him six calls this week! He’s so cruel—he knows I have to leave next week and he’s depriving me of one on one time. I think I’m gonna have to sneak into his office at lunch tomorrow and confront him.”
Despite his crass words and dramatics, you laugh, and so, Satoru smiles. He finally gets that cheek kiss right as you two reach your car, bending down to plant one for you at the same time he steals your keys from your hand and banishes you to the passenger seat. He’s not much of a driver himself, despite his excess amount of cars, but you’re his baby and you deserve to be driven around no matter the case, but especially when you’ve spent all day taking care of other people. 
Plus, on days like this, if he’s real careful and smooth, you fall asleep in the car and he gets to carry you inside. He makes that his goal for the next thirty minutes, and he succeeds in twenty, confirmed by your soft snores just as he pulls into the curbside pick-up spot of your favorite restaurant. He retrieves the take-out as quietly as possible, before making the rest of the journey home, taking the time to glance over at you during red lights. 
Satoru loves the way you look when you’re asleep, loves to see you well-rested, but something even more dear to him than that is a fact that Nanami let slip in the aftermath of a dinner party he’d hosted about a year after you two had started dating: “She never sleeps outside of her bed, for as long as I’ve known her,” he muses, nodding to your sleeping figure on Satoru’s couch, “Not even in the on-call rooms during our 72 hour shifts. She must... she must really trust you, Satoru.” 
(He also recalls the awfully strong grip on his shoulder and subsequent shovel talk Kento gave him a moment later. Not that Satoru ever had anything but pure intentions with you, but the threat of breaking Kento’s best friend’s heart was more than enough to keep his commitments in check).
Satoru peers at you fondly in his arms, held bridal style with the takeout in the grip of a pinky finger, glancing up only to nod and thank his doorman for pushing the penthouse button for him. Satoru prides himself on many things, but the one thing he always holds in his highest regards is you: call him cocky, but he thinks he’s quite good at caring for you, that there’s nobody else fit to look after you the way that he can; and knowing that you feel safe in his arms is the highest honor he could achieve in this life.
He sets you carefully on the couch once he steps inside the apartment, and places the food on the coffee table. He debates whether or not he should wake you up now; he hates to, but he knows you need to eat, and, selfishly, he wants to cash in on those few hours he has with you to hear your voice. 
He’ll dish out the food first, and then wake you up to eat, he decides. He leans down to kiss the crown of your head, eyes flicking to your face, and pausing at your neck, where your engagement ring rests crookedly against your skin. You must have had an emergency surgery today, he thinks; your schedule for today was originally just to round on post-op patients and attend some meetings, but you knot the ring into your chain when you have to scrub into the operating room. 
Carefully, Satoru reaches to undo it from the chain, and slips it back onto your ring finger. It looks pretty against your skin when it’s around your neck, but personally, he thinks it looks best this way, the sparkle of the aquamarine against the halo of diamonds fits perfectly across the width of your finger, just the way he had it made to be.
Satoru bends down even further to kiss the back of your hand, before laying it to rest on your stomach. He might need to bribe Yuuji to take care of some more work for you, you two really should get a move on that wedding planning, and you’re going to need at least a week off to fly and visit his grandma’s pastry shop in Osaka for cake tasting.
He smiles at the thought. He doesn’t feel so bad about waking you up now—wedding talk seems like the perfect way to end the evening if you ask him; there would be no sweeter sound than hearing how you imagine the start of the rest of your lives to be. 
2K notes · View notes
vauxxy · 9 months
Text
SECOND THAT
luke castellan x reader
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★ “i’m restless, i’m wrestling with the song that you love, it’s been stuck in my head”
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ABOUT - luke castellan is the only one at camp who sees right through your perfect and poised persona; and all he wants is the satisfaction of ruining it.
WARNINGS - smut, mentions of choking, both the reader and luke are TERRIBLE but luke is much worse lol, swearing, written from the perspective of a deranged luke, penetration, only loosely proofread.
A/N- i have NEVER written and posted smut before EVER. like i get close but i never go all out. so… no hate guys 😘 also i feel like this is a bit ooc for luke so just pretend he’s actually insane and terrible guys!!! if you ignore his incoherent ramblings, it’s PWOP sooo… anyways this might be the first and last time i ever write smut who knows
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luke castellan is no amateur when it comes to pretending to be something else. growing up, the only thing that mattered to luke was receiving praise or recognition for being ‘great’ or ‘honourable’ or whatever.
when you live your whole life pretending to be a perfect person, you kinda start to believe you really are a perfect person.
and if everyone you meet also believes you are indeed a perfect person, what’s the harm in continuing to pretend?
at the end of the day, both parties gain something. you get the validation and acclaim that you truly deserve, and they get a role model they aspire to at least halfway resemble.
luke is the sweetest guy at camp- everyone loves him. and he deserves it, doesn’t he? he deserves their praise and love and respect. gods, he should be rewarded for pretending to be so admirable for so long. he’s entitled to it.
you, on the other hand? you don’t. you don’t deserve an ounce of the praise luke has worked so hard to receive.
to luke, you’re vermin. behind your polite smiles and sweet words, there’s darkness. there’s an evil lurking within you- he’s sure of it.
he sees it during early morning sparring sessions, watching from the wings while you tactfully dodge every attack that comes your way. and when you eventually falter, he sees how your eyes turn cold and your smile fades.
he sees how you take a shaky breath, brushing yourself off with your bony hands before flashing a toothy grin. he feels nauseous when you extend your arm out to shake the hand of your opponent- because how the fuck can they believe your little act?
your gentle kindness and bashful charisma is so obviously fake. of course, he’s not pissed that you’re acting; everyone at camp is acting to an extent. but you’re going all out, and he can still see through it. what pisses him off, is that nobody else seems to recognise how truly malicious you can be.
maybe it’s because you’re pretty. luke is no stranger to getting special treatment based on his appearance, and neither should you be. maybe that’s the whole basis of your appeal. it seems to be the only thing holding your pathetic little facade together, considering your sloppy acting skills.
if you were ugly everyone would be able to call out your bullshit straight away, and then he wouldn’t have to worry about sharing the spotlight. honestly, the only reason why everyone loves you so much is because half of them want to fuck you, and the other half want your attention or approval- not that it’d be worth anything.
it was the last week of spring, meaning only the year-rounders and a few of the older kids were at camp. you just graduated high school, and arrived at camp early.
of course, you just had to return to camp prettier, taller, more confident, and with a fancy college acceptance letter. maybe you were much smarter than you let on- but it became very apparent that your intelligence wasn’t the reason you got accepted into NYU once he learned what you were studying.
“oh, i’m getting a degree in art history,”
seriously? art history? that’s gotta be the funniest thing luke has ever heard in his entire life.
“really? why art history?” he asks politely, watching your every move as he awaits your dumbass explanation.
you shrug cheerfully, looking around at the few other campers scattered around in a tight-knit circle as they wait for you to tell them about your ‘lovely’ 18th birthday and ‘eventful’ senior year.
“i don’t know, my mum works with a lot of artists, so she said it’d be a good conversation starter,” you say cheerfully, as if it wasn’t the stupidest thing to ever exit your mouth.
luke can’t help but let out a little giggle, before instantly lowering his head to offer some non-verbal apology. but to his surprise, you laugh along. “yeah, i really wanna score a job at the MET or something. i don’t mind either way,”
luke nods politely, letting the conversation continue without interrupting with a snide comment or unsolicited laughter.
he plays along as the conversation continues, pretending he doesn’t want to grab you by the throat and push you against the wall, demanding you to confess. demanding you to tell the fucking truth; that you’re a manipulative sycophant who’s bound to end up in rehab for getting addicted to designer drugs.
why is he the only one that sees you for who you truly are? gods, if he knew any better he might be charmed. you were naturally picturesque- or at least you seemed to be. the way that you were sitting on the grass with your hair draping over your body; you looked gorgeous. but you always look gorgeous, that’s your best quality after all.
of course all of camp half-blood was fooled- you were to pretty and kind to be lying. maybe it was better to let them keep on believing that you were this perfect image of a girl.
but he’d still appreciate the satisfaction of seeing you for who you are- seeing you in your rawest form.
and then suddenly, he saw it. some athena girl asked you if you wanted to go on a run with her later, to which you politely declined. of course, you kept your composure, told her that you had to take a nap, offered her a sympathetic smile and a ‘maybe next time’. but she didn’t see the way your eyes rolled to the back of your head as soon as she looked away.
luke was astonished. you really were getting sloppy, huh?
and yet, nobody else saw it. nobody else saw the look of disgust on your face as soon as she finished talking. he was seething- how on earth could everyone be so blind?
luke looks around at the group of people surrounding him, his eyes darting back to you ever 5 or 10 seconds. they all look at you with awe- as if you’re the most precious thing on earth.
fuck that. he was going to put you in your place.
a few hours pass, and it was finally time for everyone to walk back to their cabins.
luke spots you walking alone to your cabin, your face dimly lit by the moon as it shines over the camp. he’s so overwhelmed with anger, he couldn’t fathom caring about the consequences of whatever situation he was about to put himself in.
he quickly catches up to you, meeting your walking pace as he shoots you a friendly smile.
“hey, y/n. you got a minute?” luke asks, still adorning that charming smile. you smile back at him, nodding your head ever so gently, as if it would fall off if you moved it too fast. like a rusty elvis bobble head bought 1976 that resides on the dash of your grandmother’s busted car.
“yeah, why?” you hold your hands behind your back as you walk beside him, slowly approaching your empty cabin. luke shrugs his shoulders. “oh, i just had a little question. mind if we talk in your cabin?” he asks.
you nod, opening the door for luke and letting him walk through. you close the door behind him, before leaning your back against the wall. luke stands in front of you, his cheery demeanour vanishing as he crosses his arms.
“why the fuck are you such a little bitch all the time?”
you furrow your brows, mirroring his posture as you cross your arms defensively. “excuse me?”
luke rolls his eyes, letting out dry laughter as he looks you up and down. “you heard me,” he adds, watching you anxiously begin to pick at your lips with your freshly manicured fingernails.
“do you have a problem with me or something?” your whole body feels tense as you continue picking at your lips, your eyes locked onto his.
“yeah, i do have a problem. i’m tired of your little ‘nice girl’ act. it’s getting fucking annoying,” luke scoffed, taking a step closer towards you. your eyes darken, before shaking away your hostile expression.
“are you sure you wanna do this right now, castellan?”
“is that a threat?”
you pull your fingertips away from your lips, shifting your weight to the other side of your body as you cross your arms once more. you let silence fill the room before finally speaking up.
“listen, luke. everyone pretends to be someone they’re not. you and i just tend to do it more than others-“
luke cuts your off, taking another step forwards. “fuck off, we are not the same.”
you roll your eyes, banging your head against the wall as you groan irritably. “so what? are you gonna go around spreading cheap lies about me now?” you ask tiredly. luke shakes his head, slightly shrugging his shoulders.
“nah.” he replies curtly, his voice blunt and expression vague. “mkay, then what the fuck is your problem?”
luke takes another quick step forward, tightly holding your chin in his hand as he lifts your head to face him. “you’re my fucking problem.”
you let out a dry laugh, staring into his eyes as you attempt to intimidate him. “you’re such a loser.” you whisper, refusing to fight back against the way he’s gripping your face.
he stays silent, biting his lip as he looks over your form. “and you’re a brat.” he retorts.
“are we just going to keep throwing insults back and forth all night, or are you gonna explain why you’re so obsessed with me?” you ask playfully, cupping his face in your hand as an attempt to patronise him.
luke is stumped. to be fair, he is entirely obsessed with you. and he has been for years now. and now he has you cornered, watching your weak attempts at asserting dominance over him.
luke was over it.
suddenly, luke leans in, harshly pressing his lips against yours. you retract your hand from his face, pressing it against the wall as you feel his body moving towards you.
he wraps his other hand around your neck, only gently gripping it as to not alarm you.
luke is surprised by how you sink into his grip, pulling away to see your closed eyes and swollen lips. when you wipe your mouth and look at him with those hauntingly innocent eyes, he’s almost fooled.
you scoff, smirking as you tear away from his grip and take a few steps back. “is that all you wanted?” you say confidently, watching him turn around to watch you carefully pace around the room.
he shakes his head, groaning quietly as he walks over to you once more.
luke purses his lips, trying to suppress any sense of genuine attraction to you. but when his eyes gaze over to your red lips and flushed cheeks, he can’t help but let his mind wander.
“if you’re done, you can leave, castellan.” you say irritably, leaning against your bed frame.
it goes straight to his dick when you call him that, especially when your voice sounds so hoarse and cocky. he feels as though he’s finally accomplished what he’s been yearning to do for years now. he’s seeing the real you.
he couldn’t dare squander this opportunity now.
he pushes you down onto your bed, watching how your hair flows over your newly made bedsheets as your head hits the pillow.
“but you don’t want me to leave, do you?” luke says lowly, hovering over your body as his hand hold your wrists together above your head.
“i don’t care what you do, castellan.”
luke groans, pressing another rough kiss against your lips. you kiss back for whatever reason, and your firsts relax within his grip. it was almost as if you got off on the idea of someone calling out your bullshit. or maybe you got off on the idea of somewhat hating your guts. either way, luke knew you were more than eager to continue.
he let go of your wrists, before biting your bottom lip. your mouth opens slightly, offering entry to his tongue, deepening the kiss.
you hand cups his face, while the other grips his shoulder. after a few moments, he pulls away and begins sucking at the skin of your neck, leaving purple marks on your delicate skin while you let out hoarse whimpers.
his hands begin to fiddle with the fabric of your shirt, causing you to push his body forwards as you position yourself to sit on his lap. you take off your shirt, throwing it away as you run your hands down his back.
luke looks down at your chest, growing more aroused at the sight of your lacy little bra. it’s as if you knew someone was going to see it.
you feel a hardness growing from under his jeans, poking against your upper thigh as you slowly grind against his lap. luke let’s put a low moan, continuing to bury his face in your neck.
“i fucking hate you,” he growls, gripping the sides of your waist with his hands as you move against him.
“don’t care, take off your shirt,” you demand hurriedly, running your fingers through his hair as you tilt his head up to look at you.
luke rolls his eyes, before taking off his shirt. he quickly presses another series of harsh kissses against your neck, fiddling with the clasp of your bra as you push your chest up against his. you giggle softly at his incompetence, before he finally unhooks it and ravenously pulls it from your chest.
luke pushes your body backwards onto the bed, trailing kisses down from your neck and onto your tits. you let out a quiet moan, before biting down onto your hand in order to stifle the sound. his large hands knead your left breast, while the other grips the area just under your right breast, resting on top of your ribcage.
luke’s hands slowly move downwards, hip thumb tracing circles against the side of your hip as you gently grasp onto his hair. his fingertips gently pull down your shorts, leaving you in only your underwear.
he rubs his thumb over the wet fabric, before tilting his head to look up at you. “pathetic,” he mutters, smirking at your flushed faced. you groan, burying the back of your head further into the pillow as your back arches involuntarily.
luke’s thumb massages your clit from over the soaking fabric, watching you squirm in response. he lets out a dry laugh, before pulling down your panties and tossing them onto the floor.
“luke…” you moan quietly, closing your eyes as your hips jerk into the mattress. his fingers trace your wet folds, before letting his thumb rub circles against your clit and forcing two fingers inside of you.
you whimper before pursing your lips, rolling your head around as he slowly pumps his fingers in and out. he quickens his pace, pressing down harshly against your clit while beginning to suck on the skin of your upper thigh.
luke holds down your hip with his free hand as you begin to squirm.
suddenly, he stops.
you look at him with a confused expression, your face red as he pulls his fingers out. he chuckles at your disappointed face, before taking off his pants and boxers. you stare at his length unashamedly, biting down on your bottom lip.
“so fucking needy.” he says lowly, his voice horse as he softly begins to continue massaging your clit. you moan, feeling your back arch as he positions himself in front of your legs. he forcefully spreads them open as he teases your folds with the tip of his erect member.
you let out a little whine, your voice trembling as you try to move your hips against his length.
luke rolls his eyes at your poor attempts at penetration, before slowly pushing his cock into your entrance. you let out a breathy, high pitched moan, your hands eagerly gripping your bedsheets.
he gradually pushes in the entirety his length, continuing to rub circles into your clit. luke tightly grips your waist as he begins to slowly pull out, before jamming himself back in. you let out a breathy yelp as you body moves with his thrusts.
like continues relentlessly pushing in and out of you, massaging your waist as his thumb gradually increases the speed of its attack on your clit.
you try to steady you breathing, your face flushed as lukewarm continues to deliberately overwhelm your body.
“mm… luke, i’m gonna…” you mutter, your hips jerking upwards. he smiles at you, amused by how blissed out you look taking his cock. “so soon?” he teases, rapidly moving against your body.
you let out a stammering series of whimpers as your back arches upwards, feeing yourself suddenly release. luke grins, continuing to rub circles into your clit as he rides out your orgasm.
luke slowly retracts his thumb, repositioning the hand to gently grip your hip. he begins to slow down his movements, before quickly thrusting into you repetitively. you squirm, the movements of your hips constrained by his grip.
suddenly, he pulls out, releasing onto your stomach. see? he was a gentleman.
luke gazes over at the girl he just reduced to a panting mess as he stands up and puts his clothes back on. he smiles at you as he zips up his jeans, before kneeling besides you as you turn your head to look at him.
“i wont tell anyone how fucking pathetic you are, don’t worry, princess.”
you nod, staring at him as he continues to look at your defenceless body. “such a pretty girl,” he hums, cupping your face in his hand before kissing your forehead.
he reaches over to your discarded underwear and gently pulls them up your legs, the gesture acting somewhat as a peace offering. he takes a step back, simply taking in how endearingly stupid you look.
you slowly sit yourself up, grabbing your camp t shirt and putting it on. “goodnight, luke,” you choke out, your voice hoarse and breathing shallow. he nods, smiling softly as he turns to walk away. “night, princess.”
3K notes · View notes
loonylupinblack3 · 5 months
Text
Overprotective
Pairing: Max Verstappen x reader
Warnings: mentions of alcohol, intoxication, suggestions of violence occurring (nothing actually happens just very brief suggestion)
Summary: Going to the club and getting drunk without your overprotective boyfriend is never a good idea
Word count: 1.5k
A/N: posting bc of max's win in china
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Max had always been protective of you. Since as long as you can remember Max had acted like your protector, stopping you from doing risky things and helping you when you did them anyway and hurt yourself.
You were childhood best friends, having known each other since you were five and he was six, brought together by a love of karting. As time passed and the two of you grew up, your relationship stayed strong, but changed. Feelings grew between the two of you, though it took until you were 21 before you two did anything about it.
So you were used to Max’s slightly overprotective tendencies. It was second nature to you, as familiar to you as breathing. However, that didn’t mean it didn’t get on your nerves from time to time, like tonight for instance. You were supposed to be going out with your girlfriends to a newly opened club, but Max was having some trouble letting you go.
He raised his eyebrows when he saw you enter the living room from his seat on the couch, eyes roaming your body. You were wearing a cliche club outfit; short black dress, heels, and bangles on your arm. You could see the appreciativeness in Max’s gaze, but also concern.
“You look nice,” he said, putting his phone down.
You smiled and gave a little spin. “Thank you. It’s the dress I got on Tuesday.”
Max stayed silent for a moment, considering what to say. “You look very beautiful, Schatz, don’t get me wrong…. But is that what you’re wearing out?”
“Is there something wrong with it?”
Max hesitated again. “It’s just… it’s not very restaurant friendly.”
You made an ‘o’ shape with your mouth. You had wondered briefly why Max had been so calm about you going clubbing, but you’d brushed it off thinking he just didn’t mind it. Now you knew it was because he didn’t actually know.
“Well, Max, that’s because we’re going clubbing, not to a restaurant,” you say slowly, waiting with baited breath for his reaction.
Max blinked, surprised. “You’re what?”
“We’re going clubbing….”
Max opened his mouth then closed it, clearing his throat. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
You shrugged. “I thought you knew.”
Max raised an eyebrow. “You thought I knew you were going clubbing? Even though I didn’t say anything about it? Or warn you about drinking too much?”
You grimaced. “I know how it sounds but I genuinely didn’t realise you didn’t know.”
Max sighed. “I know, I trust you. I just don’t know if going clubbing is a good idea.”
“But it’s already been decided. And I got dressed up.”
You pouted slightly and Max rolled his eyes. “Don’t give me that look, you know I’m just worried about you.”
“I know, but I’ll be fine. Me and the girls have sorted everything out.”
Max started. “You mean it’s just going to be you girls alone? What about Izzy’s boyfriend Liam? Or Kate’s boyfriend? They’re not going?”
“It’s a girls night,” you reminded him. “No boys allowed.”
“Schatz….” Max warned. “I don’t feel comfortable letting you go to the club alone.”
“I’m not going to be alone-”
“You’ll be with a group of girls, all of you vulnerable and easy to prey on,” Max said sternly. “I’m not trying to be mean, but without a man around you there are certain people who will take that as an opportunity to try and hurt you.”
You sighed. “I know Max, but we’re fine. We know one of the bartenders and he’s promised to keep an eye out for us, plus Liam will be driving us home so we have a ride. Seriously, you don’t need to worry.”
Max frowned, looking at your face for any trace of doubt. “I always worry about you.”
“I know, but I’ll be fine. I promise.”
Max continued thinking before eventually conceding, walking up to you and wrapping you into a tight hug. “Be safe,” he murmured into your ear.
You returned the embrace. “I always am.”
You pulled back, still in Max’s arms, and he tugged down your dress with a slight scowl. “Too short.”
You rolled your eyes and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Goodbye Max.”
“Don’t drink too much,” Max said, “and text me when you’re coming home.”
You nodded your head and hugged him goodbye once more before leaving the apartment and your boyfriend. You knew he was worried, knew he’d probably be worried for the rest of the night and wait up for you, which made you feel guilty. He hadn’t prepared for you to go out clubbing, completely different from a tame meal at some restaurant, and you knew he’d be agonising over it for the rest of the night.
All you could do was answer his texts and make sure he knew you were safe. 
Except things didn’t go to plan.
You arrived at the club and everything was fine. You looked around, taking pictures of the new place, and greeted your bartender friend. You ordered some drinks and stayed by the bar for a bit, talking and catching up, before one of your wilder friends, Lily, suggested shots and then dancing. You weren’t much of a shot person, mostly because you were a lightweight, and you hadn’t planned on getting too drunk tonight but everyone was egging you on, and you didn’t want to be left out so you agreed, the four of you slamming down tequila shots like you did in college.
Then it was off to the dance floor, you, Lily, Kate and Izzy forming your own circle, dancing and laughing with one another. And you were having fun. You were feeling happy, giddy, and the only thing that would make this night better would be to have Max by your side.
You stepped out of the dance circle, moving back to the bar as you took out your phone. Noticing the multiple texts from Max left unanswered you felt a pang of guilt, but it was distant compared to the excitement you felt.
y/n: maxieeeeeeee
maxie❤️: you okay?
y/n: im the bset y/n: i mss yoi y/n: u shoud come tothe club
maxie❤️: are you drunk??
y/n: jst a litttle bit
y/n: lily siad shots
maxie❤️: you did shots? are you okay?
y/n: im grate
y/n: u should cmoe hree
y/n: i wnna party wth yoou
maxie❤️: already on my way
If you were sober, you probably would have picked up on the annoyed/concerned tone Max’s text had, but you were not sober, so you texted him a ‘yaaaaayyyyy’ and turned your phone off, waiting for what you thought was going to be your party ready boyfriend.
Instead, after you’d had another shot with your friends and continued dancing, you found yourself face to face with your concerned and worried boyfriend.
“Maxie!” you slurred, throwing your arms around your boyfriend in a hug. “Come dance with me!”
Max chucked, trying not to show his concern, but his tight hold on your waist gave him away. You pulled back and looked at him. “You are going to dance with me, right?”
Max sighed, manoeuvring you so you were off the dance floor. You were almost too drunk to notice, just clinging onto your boyfriend. “I’m here to take you home.”
“But I don't want to go home. I’m happy here,” you whined like a child.
Max muttered under his breath, “did I or did I not tell you not to drink too much.”
You frowned at his bad attitude. “I just want to dance.”
He shot you a look. “You can dance at home where you're safe, not in a club full of strangers while drunk out of your mind.”
You pouted but your boyfriend had already made his decision, half dragging half carrying you to where he parked his car. You knew better than to fight Max when he was like this, even drunk, so you sat in the passenger seat with your arms crossed, glaring at the road ahead of you while silently cursing Max and his stupid overprotectiveness. 
Max glanced at you as he drove. “I can tell you’re upset with me.”
“I was having fun,” you complained, “and you took me away from it.”
Max sighed. “I’m sorry Schatz, I am, but I wasn’t comfortable letting you stay in a club full of strangers drunk without me.”
You pouted again. “So why didn’t you just stay at the club with me?”
Max laughed a bit. “Because I only enjoy clubs when I’m drunk, and the whole purpose of me being there would be watching you while you’re drunk, not the other way round.”
It made sense even to your drunk brain- sort of -so you dropped the subject, letting Max off the hook. Maybe you’d argue with him in the morning when you were sober and had a better grasp on reality, but as Max parked in your driveway and helped you out of the car, all you wanted to do was curl up with your boyfriend and go to sleep, which is exactly what you did.
Max helped you undress and got as much makeup off your face as he was able to with his limited skill set and then got you into bed, laying down beside you. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you to his chest where you sighed into it, content.
“I love you,” he murmured into your hair.
Even drunk and half asleep, you still managed to reply, “I love you too.
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eaterofman · 11 months
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Yandere Coworker Harem x New Hire Reader: A Meeting with the CEO
Follow up to this post
Finally fed up with it all, you decide to leave... but you learn it may not be that easy.
Content Warnings: General creepiness, yanderes, financial manipulation, manipulation, power difference, gaslighting
AN: Holy shit the first part blew up, more so than any post I've ever made on tumblr... ever. Thank y'all, and I hope this lives up to everyone's expectations? Had to ignore a few asks since they were essentially the plot to this part, haha.
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As nice as Jake is... it starts to wear on you. The seclusion from your other coworkers, Warren and Jax's constant attention, it all becomes too much. This was the easiest money you've ever made, but it almost felt... condescending in a way. Seriously, you feel like you haven't actually worked in months, just given simple tasks to complete so that Jax could praise you. Otherwise, you felt like you were just eye candy set in a pretty office. No more, you figure. You make up your mind to go back to HR, it's been a long time coming. They either fix it, or you're gone.
With your mind made up, you return to Leon. He'd been so kind before, surely he'd help, right? As you explain your problems to him, he nods and gently smiles. In your distress, you don't notice his hand moving to cover yours, massaging yours comfortingly. You welcome the comforting sensation, overwhelmed to the point of not really considering the implications. You look into his dark eyes as you finish, silently pleading with him for help.
"That really is something. I'm sorry to hear your experience with the company has been so distressing. Tell me, do you have any proof?"
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His demeanor seems to shift instantly back to the colder man you remember from your first sight of him. His fingers rubbing gentle circles into your palm shift into a harsher grip.
"Proof? I-I mean, the cameras have probably caught something?"
You'd say there were eyewitnesses, but all of your other coworkers had been avoiding you. You barely even knew their names...
"Unfortunately, our cameras have been malfunctioning lately, I doubt they'd catch anything. Without any actual witnesses, I'm afraid I can't do anything for you."
"How can you say that without even looking? This place is insane- you know what? I'm just quitting. I can't take this anymore."
You try to remove your hand but he keeps it there. His gaze is suddenly ice cold. He lets your hand go after a few moments of tension, fingers lingering before you yank your hand to your chest.
"Ah, you could quit... but I'd really recommend against it. You'd of course have to pay the dues you signed in your contract, as well as any additional fees. I'm not in charge of finances, but my estimate would be somewhere around... 200 thousand or so?"
You gasp, blood running cold. 200 thousand?! You don't remember signing that, but you also don't recall really reading over the contract in your excitement. You try to think of a way out, surely there had to be some sort of loophole-
"Of course, there's always the option of asking the CEO to change your contract, but..."
You'd tuned anything after that out, insisting to meet with the CEO as soon as possible. Which, to your surprise, was almost immediately. Almost like he'd been... waiting for you? Leon himself lead you to the CEO's room, at the very top of the skyscraper your office resided in. As you're let in, you're met with the biggest office you'd ever seen. It composed of the entire top floor of the skyscraper, massive windows encircling the entire ornate office.
You really try to ignore the feeling that you're walking into a trap.
The CEO was patiently waiting for you. Like a king on a throne, he sat in the middle of the room in front of a surprisingly simple desk. You'd heard of the CEO, Kennedy Grey, but you'd never met him in person before. He had an air of sophistication around him, an older gentlemen with salt and pepper hair and a well trimmed beard. His suit was pristine and looked expensive, probably costing more than your entire yearly salary. He smiled, urging the two of you to sit. His eyes glanced over to Leon's, a slight smirk on his face as if the two were in on a joke you weren't.
"So, what brings you two here? I've heard very good things about you from Jax. Things are going well, I presume?"
You fidget, despite his welcoming tone, he felt oddly... menacing. Like you weren't supposed to disagree with him, even if he asked you a question. You begin to explain your issues, but are quickly stopped with a firm look of disapproval when you bring up the idea of leaving the company.
"Now now, we can't have that, can we? With your contract, that wouldn't be a very smart idea, would it?"
Before you can even respond, he simply continues to talk over you.
"No, no it wouldn't. And you've just been such a good worker, we'd just hate to lose you."
"Well, I was actually hoping we could talk about the contract, I just don't think it's fair-" you can barely get your thoughts out as he cuts you off again.
"Unfair? But my dear, you signed it. I'd just hate to get my lawyers involved... they're top of the line, y'know? Besides, you don't actually want to leave, you're just... stressed. What do you need, a paid week off? A bonus for your hard work?"
"No-"
"Well, now that that's done, let's get back to work, shall we? You'll have a bonus on your next pay-"
You've had enough of his condescension and interruptions, it's time for you to interrupt him.
"You know what, I'll take the lawsuit. You people are insane. You can have the money if you want, but I'm out of here."
As you get up, you find you can't. Leon has moved behind you, surprisingly strong arms holding your chair in, preventing you from moving. You look up at him in angered confusion, but he's sharing a look with Kennedy. You once again feel like you're missing an important part of an inside joke again. You try to struggle, but you're stopped as Kennedy interrupts.
"Apartment 101, Evergreen Apartments, right?"
"W-wha-"
"You know, I've been venturing into the rental market recently. Very profitable at the moment. I actually just bought a few buildings in your area, including your little apartment. Such a shame, you know you could do better, right? All you have to do is ask..."
He smiles at you as if this was a normal conversation to him, like he was doing you a favor.
"I guess that makes me your landlord now, if you think about it!" his smile turns colder, eyes crinkling like he's laughing at you, "That being said, I just don't see how you're going to pay for the rent increase without this job. I hate to do it, but it's a necessity, y'know? Cost of living and such."
He waves his hand like it's no big deal, like he isn't playing with your livelihood and threatening you.
"You could move out, of course, but well, word gets around, and I just don't know how the other investors in the area would react to your... history."
You feel dread well up in the pit of your stomach and tears in your eyes. He... has you. What could you even do? Moving out of the city would mean starting over, and that's if you could even find a place and a job to pay for said place, and paying for the lawsuit-
In your panic, you can only whimper, "I just... why? Why me? i don't understand-"
"That's the beauty of it all, you don't have to. All you have to worry about is coming in and doing your job. We'll handle all the rest."
You jump, having almost forgotten Leon was behind you in your panic. You go to open your mouth-
"Wonderful insight, Leon. Now that we're all on the same foot, let's get back to work, shall we?"
You can only numbly nod your head, too overwhelmed to continue fighting.
You're finally allowed to sit up and begin walking towards the door, trying to speed walk out of the huge room that somehow managed to feel claustrophobic. You just wanted out at this point, you needed somewhere to think.
As you step into the elevator, Leon staying behind in the office-thank god-you're interrupted one final time.
"Oh, and I meant what I said. If you ever need any assistance, anything at all, just come to me. All you have to do is ask."
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itsjustrosee · 4 months
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Alright because of all the support on my last post with Stiles, I figured I should write another 😚👍
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Worried Sick Stiles Stilinski x fem!reader
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Context: established relationship, Stiles comes to visit you when you don't show up to school
Warnings: none, just fluff
Wordcount: 1.1k
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You had been in your room curled up in bed, tangled in blankets and stuffed animals all while you were supposed to be at school.
You had just gotten your period and your cramps left you nothing short of bedridden and on the verge of throwing up all day. You were experiencing womanhood at its absolute finest, to say the least.
Suddenly, the door to your room swung open, and a very confused and distressed Stiles entered your room. His expression softened once he saw you weren't dead or bleeding out, and a wave of relief seemed to wash over him.
"Not using the window to get in anymore?" You asked jokingly, rolling to your side to face Stiles who had now set down his bag and kneeled at the side of your bed. Being Scott's twin, you and Stiles needed to keep your relationship a secret. That's why when it came to hanging out, Stiles would always come in through your window rather than your front door so the both of you wouldn't get caught.
"Well, you gave me a key to your house for a reason right? Also going in through the window would've taken me too long," Stiles explains, his expression still slightly filled with worry as he placed one of his hands on your bed while the other tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.
"What were you in such a rush for?" You ask with a chuckle in reaction to Stiles's seriousness, snaking your hand out of your covers and placing it on top of his.
"Well you didn't show up to school and I was worried," He explains, his expression soft and genuine. "I thought something bad might've happened," He says quietly and slowly.
For any other boyfriend, his girlfriend not showing up to school shouldn't cause them this much stress, but considering all the supernatural shit Stiles has somehow managed to get involved in, he couldn't help but worry himself to death.
"I'm okay Stiles, really I am," You say, reassuring him, "Just on my period that's all," You explain, trying to manage a smile but your stomach felt like it was being turned inside out, so it probably came out as more slightly disturbing than comforting.
"Ok good, I thought it could've had something to do with that. Which is why-" Stiles says, relieved, as he gets up and grabs his bag before sitting down next to you on the bed. "I have come prepared," He continues with a goofy smirk plastered on that stupidly cute face of his.
You sit up lazily as Stiles begins to show you what he bought. He whips out a plastic bag from inside of his backpack with items ranging from Tylonal, Advil, and Mydol, (which you immediately snatched and swallowed), all the way to chocolates and a heated stuffed animal.
"I got confused when I saw all the... feminine products, so- um-" He explains while taking out yet another plastic shopping bag from his backpack to reveal at least ten different boxes of tampons and pads.
You pause and stare at the ginormous haul of items that Stiles has bought you and you can't help but feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude.
You appreciated Stiles and his caring towards you more than anything, especially in moments like these. He always knew the right things to do and the right things to say, and you loved him for it.
Stiles, however, didn't take your silence in the right way. "I'm sorry- it's stupid I know, I bought way too much. I bet I still have the receipt somewhere, maybe I can still return it-" He asked, sadness and disappointment slowly creeping into his voice.
"No!" You reply quickly. "Don't return it, and none of this is stupid," You confirm before sighing for a moment. "Stiles, this is literally like the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me," You explain, turning to look at him while you say it, a smile slowly forming on your face as you do so.
"Really?" Stiles questions, his embarrassed expression being replaced by one of relief and pride.
"Really," You say while scooting over in your bed and patting the space next to you, beckoning him to join you.
Stiles lays down next to you, and you gladly roll over and climb on top of him, resting your head by the crook of his neck as you wrap your arms around him. The heat radiated off of his body as you listened to his heartbeat and the slow movements of his chest going up and down.
Stiles brought the covers over you and kissed your head before speaking once more, "You don't want to use the stuffed animal I gave you?" He asks with a chuckle as he wraps his arms around you, his thumb rubbing soft circles into your back.
"Nope, I think you'll do just fine," You say as you lift your head to look up at him.
Stiles takes this moment to lean down and kiss you gently. He kissed and held you as if you were the most fragile thing in the world. As if with one wrong move you'd shatter into a million pieces, so he treated you with such care, holding you softly and closely to make sure you didn't.
Though the kiss only lasted a few moments, it made you forget all about the pain you felt in your abdomen and replaced it with butterflies. He definitely had a way of making you feel safe and comfortable whenever you were around him.
Once he pulled away, he looked at you with hearts in his eyes, "You're so beautiful, you know that right baby?" He said, his voice so faint that it practically made your heart beat out of your chest. He removed one of his hands from your back and placed it on your cheek and you immediately melted into his touch.
You could only let out a satisfied hum in response, you were too lost in his features to bother replying coherently.
Stiles let out a low chuckle as he kissed your forehead, his hand moving from your cheek to the back of your head, stroking your hair as he did so.
"Get some sleep okay?" He said while wrapping his arm just a bit tighter around you, "I'll be right here if you need anything," He said softly.
"I know," You say, your words muffled slightly as you rest your head in the crook of his neck, "You're not goin' anywhere," You say with a smile as you place a quick kiss on his neck.
"Didn't plan on it," Stiles mumbles, about to fall asleep even before you do. But as your meds kick in, you can't help but slowly drift off to sleep as well.
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Okay, I'm having WAYYYYYY too much fun writing these I'm sorry 😭
I finished majority of my finals so I'm going to be much more active again so keep sending in requests! I'm continuing to work on them
Also, I cannot thank you guys enough for all of the compliments and praise I've received on my last post with Stiles, it was literally so sweet of you guys. My inbox was literally filled with people praising my writing and y'all have no idea how happy that made me, like literally my heart almost burst.
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r-is-typing · 2 months
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changes | s.r
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summary: in which spencer gets overwhelmed, taking it out on reader
requested?: yes! requested by @adrienneleclerc
pairing: post-prison!spencer reid x fem!reader
category: angst with a fluff ending
content warnings: spencer being mean, talks of reid in prison
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Three months. Three months had gone by since Spencer Reid was released from Millburn Correctional Facility due to Cat Adams and Lindsey Vaughn framing him for the murder of Nadie Ramos.
Since his release, Spencer had went through a very obvious change. He wasn't as talkative to his teammates except for discussing work, he was more agressive and harsh compared to his normal softness and gentle nature. What had changed the most was his relationship with her. Since his release, Y/N had tried to be there as much as she could.
She would make his coffee every morning, placing it on the counter in a travel mug she had given him as a Christmas gift a few years prior. She would iron his button-ups and work pants, she would make him breakfast on the days where he didn't leave in the middle of the night.
Despite Y/N's efforts in making Spencer feel somewhat normal considering what the man had gone through, it wasn't enough. She could tell, but what she didn't know was how to fix it.
The build up was slow. It started with conveniently forgetting the travel mug on their kitchen counter to spending hours ‘working’ in his office, even though she knew he wasn’t. Then, spending the night elsewhere despite knowing, thanks to one Penelope Garcia, that they had been home from a case for who knows how long, to today.
She didn’t know how she didn’t see it coming. Spencer’s team had just gotten back from a case, where they had been in Georgia for a week. Penelope had sent her a message, telling the woman that the jet had landed and that Spencer would most likely be home soon, but that the case was rough.
Y/N decided in that moment to make him his favorite meal, coffee just the way he liked, and putting on one of the Stark Trek’s for them to watch.
She sat on their couch folding the warm laundry that she had just pulled out of the dryer when she heard the sound of keys jingling and the doorknob twisting.
Her eyes looked up to meet Spencer and she stood to her feet. “Hi, handsome.” She spoke lovingly but softly. She takes note of how his eyes don’t meet her, only a simple nod greets her as he enters the dimly light apartment.
“I put some clean pajamas and your towel on the bathroom counter in case you wanted to shower. I tidied up your office a bit, I made the bed, and I’m just folding laundry. I have dinner ready whenever you’re hun-“
Spencer let out a groan, interrupting her. “Can you just stop?” Y/N froze, her hands holding onto his gray Comme des Garçons sweater that had a red heart on the left side.
“Wha-“ “Just shut up for one second!”
She barely had time to breathe before Spencer started shouting again. “I mean, seriously. I just got back from work and you’re down my throat about- about nothing!” He throws his arms up in the air for effect.
“I-I don’t need this, you, smothering me all the time. I get home, I want to relax and read or maybe lie down, but no. You’re jumping down my throat, wanting attention, or, or whatever you’re wanting.”
Spencer’s hands clenched into fists at his sides. One of his hands went up, aggressively ripping his tie open and throwing it down on-top of the coffee table in the living room.
Y/N felt a burning sensation in her eyes. Tears, she thought. She sighs, wiping her tears, awaiting the next thing Spencer is going to say. What other harsh things are going to come her way.
“Do you realize that since I’ve been released from a place I shouldn’t have even been in, I haven’t had a moment of silence?”
Spencer stares down at her in a way he’s never looked at her before. Y/N could only assume, thanks to the tears clouding her eyes, that he hated her.
“I come back from literal prison and you haven’t given me a moment to just breathe!” He angrily runs his hands through his hair. “For once, I’m just asking you to be silent.”
“No, no. Actually, I’m telling you. Be quiet and leave me alone.” The words Y/N never thought she would hear slipped from his mouth.
Y/N stood to her feet, shuffling quickly to their shared bedroom. Spencer heard the slam of the door and the click of the lock, and he just sighed.
Hours went by and Y/N was in their bed, face buried in the comforter. Her tears had soaked everything from the pillowcase to her cheeks, and even through her shirt. Y/N eyed the bedside table.
2:05am
Y/N sighed, rolling over and staring at the wall, even though she couldn’t see a thing. She heard light shuffling which she could only assume was Spencer.
Down the hall, he stood from the couch, glancing into the kitchen and at the microwave to determine the time. Spencer rubbed the sleep from his eyes, even though he had probably slept give or take about fourty-five minutes.
Spencer cursed to himself, remembering why he was on the couch in the first place.
Remembering what he had said to her. His eidetic memory being a blessing and a curse in the moment because he remembered the look on her face when he yelled. He remembered how she cowered. The eyes that would crease with happiness because of her love for him staring at him in a mix of fear and sadness burned in his memory.
Spencer stood to his feet, shuffling quickly but quietly to the shut bedroom door. He reached up and grabbed the universal key for all the locks in the apartment from the door frame.
Twisting the key, he unlocked the door, opening it to a dark room. The only light was from the alarm clock in the bedside table. Spencer could see Y/N's silhouette laying in the dark under their comforter.
"Sweetheart?" He called out, no response.
He walked through the door, closing it quietly behind him. Spencer navigated to the bed in the dark, pulling down his side of the blanket and sliding in to bed.
"I know you're awake." He says, she hums sleepily.
Spencer sighs, looking to the side where she was, his eyes practically staring holes into her back. "I'm sorry, baby. I shouldn't have said those things." Y/N hums in a sleepy agreement.
"Everything has changed since I came back," he started. "but that's not on you. I shouldn't have taken it out on you. You were being perfect and trying to help me adjust to life back home, and I took you for granted."
Y/N rolls over, facing him with half-lidded eyes. "You really hurt my feelings, Spencer." She spoke softly, afraid that if she was any louder, they'd both be scared. Spencer goes to cradle her head, but waits until she signals an 'okay'. With his large hands on either side of her face, he looks at her.
"I know, baby, and I'm so so sorry." Spencer kisses the crown of her head. "I'll spend a lifetime making it up to you." Y/N hums, curling into his side. She opens her eyes barely to look at him.
"You shouldn't have to go through this alone, okay? You're right, things have changed, but that doesn't mean you have to be alone, Spence. You're not alone anymore. I'm your family and I'm always going to be here for you."
Spencer stares at her with a lovesick smile. "I'm so lucky." He mumbled, kissing her head again. The two get into their normal positions in bed before falling asleep. Spencer was lucky to have her, as she was lucky to have Spencer.
He knew that with her, things would be okay.
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r is typing...
thank you so much for the request, and i hope it's what you wanted! i'm working on other requests as well, but feel free to send in more as my requests are open!
i'm also trying new formatting for my posts (new dividers, text coloring, etc) so let me know your thoughts!
as usual, here are the important links!
masterlist & prompt list
request & guidelines
r is signing off...
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jaylver · 4 months
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THE FIVE YEAR DEAL — P.JS
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synopsis: having to deal with a four year long situationship was hard enough in the first place, but when your favourite situationship texted you on a random night after a year of no contact, it was a much harder scenario than imagined. what happens when he brings up that old pact you made about getting married in 5 years and you start rekindling a relationship that was lost?
pairings: non-idol!jay x afab!reader
genre: ex-situationship to friends to lovers, second chance romance, angst, romance, pining
warning(s): profanities, drinking and partying, slight violence
wc: 6.5k
a/n: after a month of not posting, here's a very very belated jay fic that was meant to be for his birthday (scream). please leave a feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated! muah xx
masterlist | © jaylver all rights reserved.
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Park Jong Seong was your roman empire. There, you actually said it.
He was a thought that constantly hovered in your mind from time to time. Whether he was a ghost that lingered to haunt you or a sweet thought that remained, you couldn't tell. All you knew was that he had changed your life for the better and the worst.
A lesson you'd often tell others is to never get yourself involved in a situationship, worse if it's with your best friend. Unfortunately, you were speaking from experience which involved Jay, your ex situationship slash best friend. Look how you and him eventually turned out.
An almost four year long situationship with Jay that took an absolute toll on you had ended the year before. You agreed on no contact with him after, trying to create a peaceful life without him out of your life, yet it was entirely impossible when you shared mutual friends that reminded you of your good times with him even though he wasn't around. 
You hate to admit it, but losing a person who was your best friend cut deep into your gut and heart combined. It was, at least, for the better. That was something your friends told you that you gradually recited in your head. It wasn't very effective, however. You still thought about him, quite often actually. But you supposed that was the haunting and painful part of having a relationship with someone that was almost a lover but never became one. 
It was the same exact night you were thinking about him when a text appeared on the homescreen of your phone. You stared at the notification for God knows how long, debating if your lack of sleep was finally catching up to you. The contact name was unmistakable, there it was, Jay's text. Jay, your Jay? 
The strength you had trying to act casual, but in reality, you were dying internally. The hold that man has on you was unimaginable. 
jjong: you up?
you: ?
jjong: did you delete my number?
If only he knew, he would've probably laughed. You never deleted his number, nor did you even change his contact name. His name constantly stuck out in the list of contacts, just like the memories of him in your head.
you: no, i didn't. what i meant was why are you texting me at 2 am?
jjong: i thought of something, something we said four years ago
you: okay …?
jjong: you said if we're both still  single in five years, we should get married
you: you took that seriously?
jjong: should i not have?
you: dumbass, i was tipsy
jjong: you didn't say that when i brought it up after you were sober
you: it's stupid
jjong: it's not. come on, y/n, can we please start afresh? i miss you.
He missed you?  
jjong: i'm serious. can we please meet up?
you: you swear you're not going to pull something?
jjong: no?? the most i'll do is pull out an engagement ring but who knows
you: cut the crap, jay 
jjong: don't act like that didn't make you giggle even the slightest
jjong: meet me downtown. the usual place we go to :)
How could he act so nonchalant when bringing up the past? The usual place that you haven't been to after cutting contact with him was something he still recalled, but to you, it was a place you avoided up until now. 
It was hard to sleep when your mind was filled with thoughts of him, except this time, instead of missing him, you dreaded him and the part where you're going to meet him for the first time in a year. What was he going to say? 
The wish you wished upon the lone star that night was for Jay to finally set his feelings and emotions clear. But whether it will come true or not, the truth will soon befall on you.
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The day you planned to meet Jay was a cloudy one. It was likely a foreshadow, but you chose to ignore the overthinking you constantly did.
You were the first one there in the cafe, specifically sitting at that table by the corner which you and Jay usually hogged. Being there early due to mostly the anxiety, you got to calm your nerves down and prepare yourself to face Jay. 
It shouldn't be hard to meet someone you already knew, but why did it feel that way? The unspoken feelings and those that were left hanging, unaddressed, was what haunted the both of you. You supposed this meet up with him would hopefully change that the slightest bit. All you hoped for was that he didn't become a stranger to you.
You failed to realise his approaching figure as you were sitting with your back facing the entrance, it was your usual spot anyway. Not to mention, his footsteps were quiet as ever, a thing about him that was unchanging. 
"Y/N," you heard his voice before meeting his eyes, watching as he slipped onto the chair opposite of you, the warm aura of his never failing to provide a sense of comfort for you. "Hey,"
The change of his hair colour grabbed your attention first. The silvery colour that the light bounced on suited him well. He always wanted to experiment with his hair, and you didn't expect him to really do it. Other than that, he had the same features, same smile, same warm colour tone eyes and skin. All in all, he was the Jay you knew, the one you loved.  
"Jay," you spoke his name as if it was a foreign taste on your tongue. His irises flashed an unreadable spark at the sound of his name coming out of your mouth. You fell into silence, not knowing how to start the conversation whereas he seemed rather speechless instead. 
He shook himself out of it, a slight frown etched onto his lips. "Thanks for making time to see me. I know … you probably didn't want to, so I'm glad you came," his tone contradicted the way his texts sounded, the initial confidence was currently wavering.
"It's no problem," you shook your head softly, a secret hope you had kept shouting in your mind where he would fix everything. 
"I didn't want to leave us at that, Y/N," his sudden confession surprised you, but it left your heart beating in both anticipation and anxiety. "The way we left things, it wasn't right. I wasn't right for doing the things I did,"
You knew what he was talking about, or at least the obvious one out of the bunch. That night at his place where you were tipsy and he was holding you in his arms, you accidentally let out the secret you've been holding in: you loved him. As expected, it obviously strained the relationship as he insisted on it being nothing serious. You were stupid for thinking he would've reciprocated it, but all he did was leave you stranded on the empty space of heartbreak alone. 
"I'm sorry. I was an asshole, and I was an idiot for not realising how much you meant to me until you weren't there next to me. You carved a hole in my life and my heart was moulded for you," his gaze fell to the table, an audible draw of breath from him. 
Jay glanced up to lock his eyes with yours again, the twitch of his hand that was holding itself back from reaching over to you. "I'm not a religious man, Y/N, but every night I prayed for God to lead me back to you," he swallowed thickly, "I know I fucked up, that's why we stopped … everything. I deserved it, but I really want to fix everything,"
You opened your mouth to speak just to close it after a passing second. He said exactly what you wished for him to say, but why was it so hard grasping everything before you? Was it the shock? 
"I missed you, Jay," it was the truth, an angering truth that you held onto for ages. "I really did. I think about you a lot and the mistakes we made. I wish we could go back to the way we were. You're my best friend," you knew that word wasn't just what it was, it held something more than that. "And I just want you back,"
The softening of his gaze only exposed the vulnerability on your face. "Can we start again?" He said quietly, seemingly testing the waters. "As friends, and we'll go slow,"
"I'd like that," you nodded, never leaving his gaze. You didn't say it, neither did he, but you weren't putting away the chances of something more than just friends, an unspoken hope that you kept. Maybe this time, everything would turn out right. 
Before you parted ways with Jay and left for home, you shared a simple conversation in front of the cafe. Just like old times, the conversation flowed naturally as if time didn't separated the two of you in the first place. 
"Can I hug you?" 
For the first time in many months, you felt the warmth and touch of Jay's that you missed. It was familiar, comforting, a band aid that covered the crack on your heart. This was the first step to heal that broken heart of yours. Closure. It was for the better. 
The rest of your day was only filled with thoughts of him, till the point where it had you lying in bed, awake and turning, wondering about the fate of you and him. A second chance was about to make or break everything.
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The next time you saw Jay again was at a party his frat brother held. 
Ever since that day at the cafe, you didn't stop texting Jay. You realised at one point that you had fallen back into your old self once more. Giggling at his messages, anticipating his notifications, calling him at odd hours. All of which didn't go unnoticed by you, and you wondered if you should be horrified or nonchalant. Given that you and him were on better, speaking terms now, you brushed it off as nothing.
"Well, isn't it my favourite girl," Jay had his arms wide open the moment he approached you, that smile of his glowing from a distance away. 
You smiled back, you always did anyway, letting him embrace you into his arms. "You smell like beer," you scrunch your nose up in distaste, pushing yourself off of him, but your arms around his shoulders remain.
"But I'm sober," he casted a wink at you, ignoring your eye roll as he took your arm from your shoulder and slid his fingers into your hand. "Come on, the guys are over there,"
To think about explaining this to the rest of your friends was going to be interesting to say the least. They already knew from your continuous text screaming for bloody help, but for them to witness it in person? You couldn't help but wish to cower into a corner out of embarrassment.
Heeseung was the first to raise a discreet eyebrow at you when you approached, hands intertwined with Jay, the same guy you swore you cut contacts with. That's a lie, apparently. Jake and Sunghoon seemed impassive, but you could tell from their several exchanges of glances, they thought the same as Heeseung did. However, both you and Jay were their friends, and no matter how messy it was, they were just the people stuck in between.
Jay eventually excused himself from the conversation to get more drinks for himself. You had a feeling he was about to be drunk by the end of the night no matter how he denied that. You knew his patterns through and through. Once he was out of ear shot, the boys turned to stare at you accusingly.
"Did you guys kiss?" Jake was the first to be blunt. The other two were eager to know the truth as well.
You practically jumped in your seat, as if a bullet had shot through your chest. In that way, his zero filtered question had that effect. "What? No! We agreed on being just friends,"
"For now," Heeseung chimed in.
"What?"
"You were literally holding hands with him," 
"It's platonic,"
"Considering your past with him, I think that's the last thing you can claim as platonic when it comes to Jay," Heeseung quipped back, making a valid point that you chose to ignore.
"Whatever. We're currently friends and we're not rushing into anything. We don't want to ruin it," you rubbed your arm uneasily, the thought of your past recurring saddened you. 
"Then when are you going to actually get together?" Sunghoon asked, sounding rather exasperated as though he's the one in your position. At one point, you wished you could trade places. 
"Ask him that," you leaned your head onto Jake's shoulder for emotional support, the question from Sunghoon was a second bullet to your heart. You had been the one sending signals from the start, but when it came to Jay reciprocating it, it was rather bleak.
"You're still hung over him? It never … went away?" Heeseung leaned his body closer, increasingly immersed into the conversation deeper.
"How could it go away when I've always been in love with him?"
The words stuck to you throughout the night. The truth and reality of you loving a man that threw everything away was a burden you carried. The egging thought of wondering if Jay even reciprocated the feelings after a year crept into your head. He didn't reach out to reconnect for nothing, did he?
Just as you've guessed, Jay was truly drunk out of his mind by the time the party was ending. Your friends were trying their best to haul Jay into his apartment while you trailed behind, wishing you were more of help than this. Jay was eventually dumped onto his bed, slurring out random sentences that made zero sense to you.
"Do you need me to drop you back? I didn't drink," Heeseung turned to you first once all of you stepped out of Jay's room. 
"I'll be fine. I didn't drink much, so I think I can drive myself back. I also want to stay a while more to make sure he's fine," you took a glance back at the open bedroom door, seeing Jay still awake and turning uncomfortably. 
"Will you be okay? I mean, you just started talking again, I don't want you to be uncomfortable," Heeseung placed an assuring hand on your shoulder, concern filled eyes boring into yours. You hadn't even thought about this before, the emotions you had whenever with Jay. 
You smiled at your friend. "It's Jay. I will never feel that way about him,"
Heeseung reciprocated your smile, seemingly more relieved. "I know."
Your friends soon left, the loud sounds of their drunken chatters faded into the night, leaving you in a deafening silence. A deep intake of breath was what helped you regain your confidence back to finally step into Jay's room, facing a dazed looking Jay who was sitting on the edge of his bed. He seemed a tad bit more sober from the multiple cups of water he had drunk. 
"Are you alright?" You took a few steps forward, holding onto the doorframe.
He glanced up, the dim light provided by his desk lamp illuminated his face, the sharpness of his features contrasted the tears he had swimming in his eyes. It was unmistakable, but it weighed you down onto the ground, not knowing if you should be taking another step. 
"Jay?" You called out cautiously, swallowing thickly. A quiet sob broke the short silence which followed, the glistening tears made their way down his cheeks. It was your first time seeing him as vulnerable as this.
You got to his side, knelt on the ground, trying to search for his gaze which persisted to run away from yours. He tried hiding his face behind his hands, but you were quick to stop him, holding onto them tightly. It was then he was forced to finally meet your eyes. 
"I'm sorry," you heard his weak voice utter out, his hand that you held onto gripped yours. "I'm sorry," he whispered tearfully.
It was your first time witnessing him this broken, crying nonstop and leaving his emotions out on display. For the first time in ages, you couldn't properly read him like you've always done. Was it your fault for making him feel this way? Was there nothing but pain in this so-called relationship you and him shared?
"I miss you," it was a confession, a painful sounding confession that he's held onto for a long time, the look in his eyes told you he meant it, but there was something else that he had: grief. "I'm sorry,"
You didn't know how long it was that you stared at him for, the thoughts in your mind had been long gone, the shell of your body remained. His words and the emotions behind them were heavier than you anticipated, it hit you hard and rough. You sighed, lowering your head for a second. "You should get some sleep, Jay. It's late and you're buzzed. I'll talk to you in the morning,"
Jay was silent. You could tell there was a hint of disappointment from him that you wished you weren't the cause of it. You got up to your feet, staring at the top of his head as he fought to avoid your eyes. So be it. As you turned to leave, you felt a hand around your wrist, pulling you to a stop.
"Will you stay?"
You've heard this one too many times. Yet, you were always a victim to it. Unlike most times, you knew this was different, letting your heart guide you to him instead of your head. It might've been foolish, but you were willing to be a fool that was persistently in love just for him.
"I'll stay."
That night, you barely slept as he laid in your lap, sound asleep. Your fingers traced the sharpness of his features, smoothing over the softness of them. You wondered to yourself whether reconnecting was a good idea in the first place if this odd feeling of yours kept cutting deep into your heart every time you're with Jay. 
You would never wish to leave him once more, but did he feel the same as you do? Or will he be the first to let you go again? 
Maybe, just this once, you'd have to be the first to let go, even if it's a small step, it was something better than nothing.
With one last apologetic look at Jay, you closed his bedroom door and left his home with a heavier heart than usual. By the time morning comes, you hoped both yours and his memories from the night before would be a fever dream. Something so intimate and vulnerable, how were you to forget quickly? Even as you drifted off to sleep in your bed, you could still remember the tears on Jay's face, it being the last thing you remember before waking up to your doorbell ringing.
It was as if your thoughts had manifested Jay to show up at your doorstep. He wasn't a figment of your imagination, but actual flesh and bones. No matter how you rubbed your eyes trying to get yourself to be more awake, he wasn't disappearing away from view. He was real. 
"Can we talk?" 
Those three words immediately brought dread for you. Jay's face was impassive, but it was evident that he was tired, restless. You nodded, moving away to let him in. It was easy for you to let him in, whether it was your home or your heart, you've always kept a space for him.
"What is it that you wanted to talk about?" You stepped closer to him, seeing as he hadn't taken a seat and feeling something odd shift in the air.
"Us, Y/N, us," Jay breathed out, strained and hoarse, as if saying that word had pained him deeply. "I don't like this, I hate it. The 'us' that we are now,"
"What?"
"We can't keep continuing on like this. We can't keep pretending everything's fine when it's not,"
It was too early for this, too early for you to be feeling burning internal rage. "Are you kidding? So what are you going to do? Leave me alone again? Go no contact with me again just because you don't want to face me again?"
"No!" Jay took a step closer to you, eyes blazing with equal fiery as yours. "I'm not ending things again, never. I can't lose you this time," his voice wavered, his hand reaching for yours and you let him hold your hand. Was that your first mistake? "I'm in love with you,"
You wished those words hadn't left his lips. For ages, you thought him confessing his true feelings would've fixed things, fixed you and him both, but at that moment, you realised it wasn't that easy, the cracks on your heart remained. 
"I know when you look at me, you see everything that went wrong, but when I look at you, I see the person I'm in love with," every word pierced your heart deeper, the desperation in his voice was clear, a saddening tragedy was imminent. 
"You don't get to do this," you whispered, backing away from him and freeing your hand from his hold. The hurt that flashed across his eyes didn't go unnoticed by you. "You don't get to tell me you're in love with me out of nowhere after we stop talking. It's not fair,"
"Am I … too late?" His voice was quiet, in the midst of the hurt was a pinch of hope. 
"You're not," you didn't want to lie, you knew your feelings were the same and unchanged, but you just weren't ready to cave in and accept his feelings that fast. It wasn't fair. "Time. That's what we need to start afresh,"
Jay nodded, jaw clenched, face stoic. There was no denying that he was hurt, he didn't hide it anyway. "I'll make it right. I'll fix us."
Was it possible to mend everything?
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Attending a party to get drunk was probably the worst idea you had in a while. 
The thoughts of you and Jay haunted you like a sickening plague, the conversation you had with him was constantly eating you up from the inside. You were pushing him away, you knew so, you were becoming like him in some ways. How ironic it was. 
That was why the moment Julie invited you to her boyfriend's house party, you knew you had to have some type of getaway, though it wasn't the most ideal. The only problem you didn't appreciate her not telling you earlier was the person you wanted to avoid most was standing with the rest of your friends in a corner playing pool.
"Look, I didn't know they were coming," Julie defended herself, leaning her body close to your side. "What's up with you and Jay anyway?"
"It's complicated,"
Julie sighed, shaking her head. "Of course it is, but how blind and dumb could you both be?"
"Hey!"
"It's obvious you like him and he likes you, why can't you guys just—I don't know—get together?" 
"It's not that easy, I wish it was. I think we're both hurt, or I'm the coward this time. We … talked, he finally said he loves me, but I can't accept it just yet,"
"Why not?"
"I gave my heart to him, Julie. For years I willingly gave my heart to a man that constantly blocked me from his heart, which was why we ended things. Only then he realised his true feelings and right now he's asking for my heart back. I just don't think it's fair," your eyes dropped to the carpeted ground, gripping onto your plastic cup tightly.
"Then would you rather regret it?"
"Huh?"
"Would you regret after pushing him away and never becoming something you've always wished to be? Constantly think about the what-ifs? I know I'm not in the right to say anything since I'm not you, but the only thing I wish to say is to go with your heart," she placed a hand on your shoulder. "If your heart yearns for him, it'll always stay that way."
Why couldn't you stop your heart from yearning for Jay? It was as if Julie had read you like a book, even in those times where you and him stopped contacting one another, you never once forgot about him. It was true, your heart was yearning for him. 
Meeting new people that were introduced by Julie and her boyfriend momentarily took your mind off Jay. Their friends were people you probably wouldn't meet again, so you didn't mind when you were left alone with one of them. 
"You come by here often?" Juyeon, one of the guys, was by your side like a leech instead of being a good company. His presence was screaming red blaring signals to you.
"Not much," you chuckled awkwardly, wondering when Julie would return with the rest of her friends.
"Can I take you out some time?" Wow, he sure knew how to cut to the chase. 
"What?"
"I was wondering if you'd like to come by to my place after this?"
Oh, this was your sign to run, wasn't it? "I—well, I have someone to meet—"
"Come on, give me a chance—" he grabbed onto your hand right before you could successfully leave, this was when you remind yourself never to get involved with frat boys.
"Sorry—" you didn't have the chance to finish your sentence when your hand was forcefully ripped away from his hold, another familiar feeling of someone's hand on yours instead. You turned just in time to see Jay standing beside you, visibly fuming.
"Leave her alone, man," he placed himself in front of you, shielding you away from Juyeon. 
"Look, I'm just trying to invite her over. You know what, she's nothing special anyway—" the sound of Jay's fist clashing into Jueyon's jaw stopped him from continuing on. You were too shocked to comprehend everything happening before you, even as Jay lunged onto the man, you could do nothing but stare. 
"Jay!" The shouts of his name clicked in your mind, breaking you out of your shell-shocked state. Every one of your friends rushed to get Jay off of Juyeon who ended up scrambling away, leaving a crowd of onlookers. 
He was hesitant to turn around and look at you, you could tell so from his stiff shoulders, but you stayed hoping to see his face. You reached your hand out shakily to touch his shoulder, yet, before you could actually do so, he turned around, eyes avoiding to meet yours.
"Jay—" 
There he went brushing past you, not a single word spoken from him. The slamming of the front door snapped you out of the hurtful daze you were in to follow him out of the house. He was standing on the pavement, unmoving. You approached him carefully, scared and paranoid of executing a wrong move.
"Jay," you walked to stand before him, feeling a tinge of hurt when he took a step back away from you. "Jay," you repeated his name, this time with a bit more desperation. "Why did you do that?" There was no answer, only a sullen silence which blurred into the night. 
You shifted your attention to his fist, the forming of a bruise and some cracked skin decorated the fist he used to punch Juyeon. Your hand absentmindedly reached for his. "You're hurt," you were about to touch his hand when he pulled away, avoiding your hold, a look of hurt flashed across your features, but you tried to hide it.
"I can't let him talk to you like that," he whispered, looking anywhere but you. You wished to grab his shoulder and forcefully make him look at you. 
"Jay, it's okay,"
"It's not!" He snapped, finally having the nerves to meet your eyes. His change of tone shocked you, your feet took a step back unknowingly. "It's not okay. Not when I feel like I'm going insane thinking you're going to get yourself in danger,"
"I'm sorry—"
"Don't," Jay heaved a breath in, voice shaking slightly. "I should be the one to say sorry for acting this way. I'm sorry," 
"Jay—" 
"I'll see you around. Get home safe." You couldn't even reach him and he was already gone, leaving into the night. There was a twisting feeling in your heart that was unbearable. Was this the end of it all? 
You felt even worse walking back into the house when the rest of your friends asked you about Jay and his whereabouts. It was awkward staying there after what went down, so you ended up going back home too, throwing yourself in bed to forget everything that had happened. 
Jay, the fight, Juyeon, you wished those three things never happened that night. You wished you and Jay never happened at all. 
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"You're just going to leave it at that?"
A bottle of alcohol late at night with the company of your friends without Jay was what you needed after a rollercoaster of a events. The amount of shots you've taken wasn't enough to blur the image of Jay's tear stained cheek or the hurt in his eyes when he told you he loved you, not even the time he avoided your touch. You wondered if love was meant to be this painful. If it was, why were you so adamant on it?
"I … don't know," you set the glass down, chewing the insides of your cheek. "It'll be too cliche and stupid to say it's complicated, right? I think I'm just hurting him. I still love him, but I can't let myself to do so. It's weird, him reconnecting after a year and suddenly telling me he's in love with me out of the blue. What does all that mean?"
Sunghoon let out a hiss from the shot he took in one go, then turned to you. "Jay might be a dumbass for realising his faults and feelings a little too late, but there's one thing I'm sure about him, and that is how much he cares for you and loves you. I remember after you guys cut contact, he had trouble sleeping for months. He said the thought of you leaving haunted him,"
"I know it's unfair to you how he's only realised his true feelings now," Heeseung interjected, pouring another round into your glass. "But I think you're just hurting yourself more by pushing him away, just like how he did to you. You love him, don't you? Don't repeat the same mistakes, you've wasted a whole year together, don't waste a lifetime regretting what could've been."
Two stubborn people walking in constant circles, that was you and Jay. Too scared to face your feelings, hurting not only the other but also yourself. 
Being absolutely emotional and pissed drunk only resulted in you crying your eyes out, which made your friends worried out of their minds till the point where they had to call the person who would know how to comfort you. However, they  failed to realise in time that the same person was the cause of your tears. 
"Where is she?" You heard his voice from a mile away, it was something you'd never forget. The others were slowly leaving your apartment after hoisting you to your bedroom. The process of which involved you sobbing and your drunk friends trying not to drop you. 
The thudding sound of footsteps filled the silence in your home. It stopped right at the doorstep to your bedroom, the hesitation was evident when he entered after several beats. You laid on your side, facing away from him. His approaching figure made your heart race, you felt the bed dip beneath you upon him taking a seat next to you. 
"You're awake, aren't you?"
You glanced up at him, the dimness of your room casted a shadow across his face, but he was still the most beautiful person you've seen. You slowly sat up, trying to move your body a distance away from him to make everything less surreal. The silence in the room was overwhelming, neither of you knew what to say first.
"Do you hate me?"
"What?" 
"I was the first to let go this time," you chuckled dryly, doing everything but meeting his eyes, maybe you were the coward all along.
Jay let out a breath of disbelief, shaking his head. "How could I ever hate you?" It was a question, it was his truth, his dying truth that he held onto with all his heart. He glanced down, staring at his hands, the bruises from the hard punches thrown were healing. "I shouldn't have lashed out on you that night. It wasn't right for me to do so,"
In the midst of your hazy mind, your brain functioned well enough to recollect the memories he mentioned. Oh, that night, that incident. "It's alright, I know you didn't mean it, you were trying to look out for me, I get it," you averted your gaze, letting yourself smile a little to lessen the tension. "I think I was just scared,"
"Of what?" 
"Of you leaving again," 
Jay's gaze softened in the darkness, his hand reaching out to hold yours and it was one of those times that you let him do so knowing how your heart felt like exploding. "I'm never leaving, nor do I hate you. I hate myself for pushing you away, for realising everything too late, for hurting you," he took a deep, yet shaky breath, "If anything, I love you,"
The drowsiness you were experiencing somehow disappeared in a blink of an eye, your mind blank, all you could hear in the back of your mind was those three words which Jay uttered. The air around you and him had shifted, the angry tension dissipated. 
You felt his hold on your hand tightening, just the same as your heart tightening at the sight of Jay's heartbroken smile. "I love you," it was a confession, something ever so freeing to finally be able to say to him knowing your true feelings were reciprocated. "I'm sorry for running away,"
Jay moved closer, his face now barely a few inches away. Everything was a blur, how his other hand travelled to cup your cheeks, his breath practically fanning your lips. "I should be the one to say sorry," those were his last words before pressing his lips on yours.
It wasn't your first time kissing him, but something about the kiss was unlike the times you've experienced.  Despite all those playful, lighthearted kisses you shared with Jay, you knew this was different. Jay was pouring his endless unspoken apologies and devotion, a mix of relief, sadness, longing were hidden behind it.
Even as you pulled away, you could feel the palpable longing between you and him. It was as if years of silent desperation, confusion and pining had melted into one, finally being addressed at that moment. Neither of you spoke a single word, just holding each other close, admiring one another. It was intimate, something you couldn't recreate with someone else. 
"I will never leave you," he whispered, his thumb stroking your cheek reassuringly. "You're a piece of me and my heart, you make me whole. I would be a fool to ever let you go again,"
You stared at him as if he was your entire universe, the effect of his every word carved a space into your heart. Eyes closing momentarily, you let yourself melt into his touch, smiling softly. "I trust you."
That was all Jay needed to hear before a small smile spread across his face. You could hear it in silence, see the look on his face and that spark he has in his brown irises, you knew what it was, he was in love.
That night, he stayed with you until morning came. You held onto one another tightly, as though scared that it was the last day to be together. Little words were exchanged, but you were content by him holding you close. 
For the first time in a while, you were able to fall asleep with no lingering thoughts, and for the first time ever, he was yours, and you were his.
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Telling your friends you and Jay were finally together was a rollercoaster of emotions that you'd never forget. 
It has been months since you and your best friend officially got together. The reactions from people around you were nothing but relief and support after knowing how much hell you two went through. For once, you actually believed in the 'forever' that was promised.
You didn't question the sound of keys unlocking your front door. It has become a habit for Jay to stop by your place every evening, almost just like before and it felt as if everything was falling back into place. Every visit of his came with something he prepared to surprise you, which was why his cheeky grin gave it away.
He pressed a kiss on the top of your head before joining you on the sofa, the playful smile of his never once left. "I have a surprise,"
"Chocolate cake?"
"Okay, something not edible," 
"What is it?" You couldn't help smiling too, nudging your boyfriend in an attempt to get him to reveal his so-called surprise.
"Close your eyes,"
"Are you serious?"
"I'm serious. Come on, close them!" He was giggling, egging you on to go along with whatever he has up his sleeves. "Now, give me your hand," You complied. Not long after, you felt something cold and small making contact with the skin of your palm. "Open your eyes," 
You were first met with Jay's anticipating gaze, then you looked down, seeing a ring sitting on the palm of your hand. "A ring?" You were surprised, picking it up to look at it closely. It was beautiful, simple yet so intricate in detail, as if it was customised for you. 
"Don't worry, it's not an engagement ring, it's a promise ring. I know we did make a five year deal, but we're still taking it slow," he picked the ring from your hold and gently took your hand, slotting the ring into your ring finger. "Maybe in another five years time, I'll actually get to fulfil our pact and replace this with an engagement ring,"
This was the closest you've felt your heart exploding. Heat rushed to your face, heart beating nonstop, you were suddenly the person who's first developed a crush for Jay all over again. "Since when did you become so cheesy," you scoffed, a small smile rested on your lips.
"Only for you, duh," it wasn't a lie whatsoever, Jay never hid himself when it came to you. "Let's call some takeout and stay in,"
"Are you staying over tonight?"
"Only if your bed is open to let me in," he made himself comfortable next to you, throwing his arms around you to pull you closer to his side. 
"You know it always is."
Jay didn't say anything, but his smile was enough of a response. No matter if it's your bed, house or heart, you've always reserved a spot specially for him. He made up a part of you just the same as you were with him. He was your home and safe space. You were glad you made that stupid pact on one drunken night that led him back to you.
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haetrack · 7 months
Text
tread lightly | lhc
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lee haechan x f!reader
wc: 17.6k
warnings: smut (MDNI!), established relationship, sexting, jealously, slight miscommunication, mark is an instigator, quite a few text messages, masturbation, kink discussion, mommy kink, nipple play, handjob, edging, overstimulation, barely there choking, unprotected sex, cockwarming, light exhibitionism, epilogue (kinda), dom!reader, sub!haechan
a/n: this fic has been a long time coming so i’m very excited that it’s out! i would like to thank @ncteez for letting me write a fic based on this post of hers! i hope everyone enjoys reading and let me know if you liked it!
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It’s midnight and moonlight seeps through the curtain covered window, covering both you and Haechan. You're laying across his bare chest, your finger mindlessly drawing small patterns on it. You both feel sticky, breaths still heavy, yet no one bothers to get up. You peer up to look at Haechan through your eyelashes and see his eyes closed, with cheeks that are slightly flushed. Although you don’t want to break the peaceful silence of the night, you speak up with, “You take such good care of me.”
His eyes open, which then turn and peer down at you with a shy smile. He lets out a small laugh and wraps his arms around you, successfully entrapping you in a bear hug. You let out a small, “it’s still too hot!” which he ignores, and plants kisses along wherever he can reach. “You know I’m always going to be here to take care of you, baby,” he continues with a smirk, “you took care of me so good tonight, I could only return the favor.”
You playfully push him away from you and lay on your respectful side of the bed, while he sits up and stares down at you. His eyes only show love towards you, something that comes with two years of dating. You reach up and caress his cheek, which he takes as a sign to reach down to give you a kiss. “I hope you do know how much I love you, more than anything ever,” he says a little more seriously.
“Even more than your computer?” you tease.
“Hey! I’m being so serious right now!” he grins, letting you know he’s not genuinely mad.
“I’m kidding,” you say with a laugh, “and I hope you know that there’s nothing and no one else I could love more than you.” You sit up along with him and place a kiss to the tip of his nose. He nuzzles his face along your neck and presses kisses along the soft skin of your shoulder. A few moments pass of you two enjoying each other's presence, you gently ask, “Do you think you’re ready to clean up?” He lifts his face from your neck and nods, “I’ll go get a cloth for us.”
After some rummaging in the restroom, he returns with shorts on and a wet cloth for you. He looks at you, asking for approval to clean you up, and you nod, thanking him quietly. Once he finishes, he tells you to go use the restroom already. You groan out, “I don’t want to, I'm already too comfortable here.”
“I know that you love me so much,” you glare at him, “but I will drag you to that restroom if I need to.” With one last groan, you get up and slowly (and painfully) walk to the restroom. Once you finished what needed to be done, you see him scrolling on his phone, waiting for you. He looked up once he realized you were there, and laughed when he saw you limping.
“Don’t be mean! You did this to me!” You say while poking your finger in his chest. He laughs out loud and brings you down to snuggle against him.
“Don’t care how many times I’ve said this already, but I love you.” He was spooning you, and you felt his words travel past your ear. You don’t have to look at him to know that he’s smiling at the thought of the two of you. You whisper out into the dark night, “I love you too. Goodnight, Haechan.” With the two of you cuddled up next to each other, you fall asleep, waiting for what the next day brings.
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Instead of awakening to the familiar light of the moon, the harsh sun forces its way in, even through the curtains. You check your phone for the time, and despite the fact that you slept late, you’re awake at eight in the morning. This isn’t the worst thing ever, considering the fact you have class a little after twelve, but you decide to lay in bed for a bit longer.
You turn over to see your boyfriend sprawled across your bed, his pillow somehow on the floor. You have always made fun of him and his sleeping habits, and he in turn mocks you for thinking how cute he is in any situation. You turn your attention to him, and once again draw patterns on his chest. For a while, you mindlessly scrolled on your phone while running your fingers along his abdomen, waiting for him to wake up. 
Even though you’re a patient person, you do have things to do today and classes to attend. You have to wake Haechan up. Your gaze falls back to the hand on his chest, and you smirk to yourself. Your finger circles around his nipple and you lightly pinch it. His body suddenly shivers and goosebumps grow on his skin. His body shifts to grab your hand and just to make a point, you pinch his nipple one last time.
He sucks in a breath through his teeth before he turns towards you. He nuzzles his face in your chest and clings onto your t-shirt. He groggily starts with, “Baby… what d’you think you’re doin’…”
You can barely make out what he said, but you still reply with a giggle. You run your hands along his naked back and he just pushes his face closer to your chest. “Wake up, you big baby. The both of us have class soon.”
Haechan mumbles something incoherent into your shirt and you laugh, pulling him away from you. “Tell me what you have going on today,” you ask, hoping this will get him to wake up. 
After a few moments of silence from him, he responds, albeit with his sleepy voice. “I have class later…” a pause, “then Mark wants to hang out tonight with everyone else there, too…” 
“Are you going to go straight to his place after class?”
“...I dunno yet. But I’ll let you know what happens…” he mumbles. He’s clearly trying to wake himself up to talk to you, so you continue.
“After my classes, I think— no, I have to head to the library to work on that lab report I was telling you about,” you sigh.
“The one for Chemistry?”
“Yeah… I think I cried like five times thinking about it,” you laugh, worried for the upcoming deadline. “If you don’t end up heading straight to Mark’s after your classes, you can come with me and study.” You smile, knowing that when he’s with you you both get no work done.
He nods, and you pat his shoulder. “Come on, let’s go get ready.”
He groans loudly and he grabs your arm to try and pull you down next to him. As much as your body aches to be back in bed with him, you abstain and grab his hand instead. He curls his fingers into yours and brings your hand to his lips to give you a soft kiss there. You return the favor and press a kiss onto his hand. 
“Will it make you feel better if we shower together?”
He shoots straight out of bed.
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After a shower (that may or may not have included some heavy touching) and a breakfast made by his wonderful girlfriend, he begins to make his way out of her apartment. He helps with the dishes by drying and putting them away, all while maintaining conversation with you. You talk about little things, how his professor might be his downfall, and how you might’ve finally found a main in Smash Bros. 
Once you both finish getting ready, you take a quick picture of the both of you to upload on your Instagram story. “Are you trying to show everyone how lucky you are to have the best boyfriend ever in the world?” You scowl at him, and he makes a bunch of weird, high pitched noises and gets close to pinching your cheeks. You laugh and push him away.
“No, but seriously, I have to go now. I’ll see you later?” he asks.
“Yes, please be careful. Also text me your plans after class just so I know whether to wait on you?” 
“Of course, Mom.”
“Hey!”
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Haechan makes it to his only class for the day. He’s a bit early, so he finds a place to sit before his class starts. He scrolls aimlessly through his Instagram, which reminds him to look at the story you posted of the two of you. He finds it and stares lovingly at it. You look very cute, and he has to remind himself on how to repost another person's story onto his. He captions it with a “me and the gf 🫡” before posting it. 
He notices his classmates slowly make their ways into class and decides to get up himself. Haechan takes his favorite spot in the auditorium, the middle back rows towards the edge of the aisle. Once he’s settled in, his infamous professor walks in with a smile on his face.
Fuck. Coding.
After an hour of hearing a new coding technique being taught badly, Haechan’s mind starts to wander. What else to think about other than his wonderful girlfriend who takes up all his thoughts. He could never get mad at you, though. Ever since meeting you, he thinks his life couldn’t get any better.
He remembers the day you met those three years ago. You were both freshmen in college, and you both had a mutual friend, Mark. You had apparently made friends with Mark through a shared Rhetoric class while Haechan has known Mark for most of his life. Apparently, Mark had taken you out to lunch after said shared class and Haechan was in the dining hall at the same time. He saw the top of Mark’s big head and made his way over.
What he didn’t seem to notice was the prettiest girl he had ever seen, sitting right across from Mark, munching on her food. The stupid shit he was about to say to Mark was cut off by the sight of the girl, at the sight of you, and he stupidly stood there. Mark catches onto this and invites Haechan to sit next to him, which he robotically takes the offer. 
You introduce yourself to him and offer a handshake. Haechan leaves you hanging for a bit, suddenly all too aware he’s leaving you hanging but his hands are just too sweaty. He quickly wipes them on his jeans and shakes your hand, introducing himself successfully. He’s aware that he’s not the best at meeting new people, but he hopes he can push that aside in order to talk to you.
It works. He feels his shy demeanor melt away, becoming more at ease when he talks to you. Eventually, you both start hanging out without Mark, days spent together learning about one another. He thinks he might literally be in love. What would happen if he confessed? Would you say yes? Would you push him away? He thinks he wouldn’t be able to live without you by his side.
Spoiler alert. He does confess and you said yes. As if you would say anything else. 
Interrupting his thoughts, he feels a buzz come from his phone. It’s Mark.
[markly] 12:20, im gonna head over to campus in a bit and get food
[markly] 12:20, after, im gonna be outside ur class waiting for u
[hae] 12:21, k 👍
Not exactly the person he wanted to hear from, but that will do. He remembers to text you the new plan so you can adjust accordingly.
[hae] 12:21, hey baby im going to marks right after class
[hae] 12:21, wish we couldve studied together 
[my beloved 🫂] 12:22, aww dont worry abt it 
[my beloved 🫂] 12:22, we both know that we wouldve gotten nothing done
[hae] 12:22, laughed at a message
[hae] 12:23, are you still in class baby?
[my beloved 🫂] 12:23, my prof cancelled class last min i was kinda pissed
[my beloved 🫂] 12:23, feeling a lot better now that my bf texted me
[my beloved 🫂] 12:24, more time to think abt u hehe
Haechan smiles at his phone and sends a quick love you before turning his phone off. He tries to pay attention, he really does, but his professor might be quite literally secretly planning on failing him. To save him from his dread, one more buzz from his phone. It’s you again.
[my beloved 🫂] 12:31, sorry for bothering u haechan
[my beloved 🫂] 12:31, cant stop thinking of u
Before Haechan can respond, one picture is sent. You are laying stomach down on your bed, but one thing sets him off. Your tits are almost on full display for him. Covered by a lacy bra that barely helps, he can’t help but feel himself twitch in his pants. Remembering that he is still in this Hell-like class, he quickly shuts off his phone and almost slams it against the table.
He doesn’t pick his phone back up for a good five minutes. He can feel the back of his neck get hot, his cheeks beginning to flush. He’s not sure what to do, so all he can respond to your picture is with a:
[hae] 12:36, fuck
[hae] 12:36, does my baby need me that badly?
He shoves his face in his hands and internally groans to himself. First of all, he’s still in class. Secondly, he can’t even go back and help you because Mark’s going to be waiting on him. Thirdly, he’s trying to will away his boner before he sees Mark to avoid any teasing. One more text is sent by you, something along the lines of i need u, and all he can do right now is ask you not to touch yourself without him there.
He uses that not only as a way to placate you, but himself as well. The only thing in his mind now is how soft and full your chest looked. How much he wants to grope and pull at your boobs. He can feel himself straining against his pants, begging to be touched, begging for you. He tries to focus on the monotonous voice of his professor droning on about how making one mistake can ruin a whole code. While the thoughts of you plague his mind, his professor seems to ruin every good fantasy he’s thought of.
To make matters worse, his professor keeps his students over class time, explaining that the homework must be done right away and be done perfectly. No exceptions. Once he’s dismissed, Haechan tries to see if he can find the nearest bathroom before Mark arrives. Unfortunately, Mark is sitting on one of the chairs outside the entrance, and spots Haechan easily.
“Why does it look like you died then came back to life?” Mark laughs in his face.
“Don’t ask me stupid shit,” Haechan grumbles.
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After getting laughed at by Mark (which effectively ruins his mood), they make their way to his apartment. No one really makes a plan of when to hang out, so Mark just tells their friends if they could show up last minute. Everyone always does, because what else would college students rather do than on a Thursday night. Of course, Haechan would rather spend time with you, but he was coerced into hanging out (he’s lying, but it’s always going to be you over them). 
After Mark sends a text to the groupchat saying that him and Haechan are already at the apartment, everyone makes their way on their own time. Renjun makes it exactly when he said he would make it, in about twenty minutes. Jeno and Jaemin make their way in a whopping thirty seven minutes with lazy smiles and snacks in their hands. There’s nothing like an unplanned hang out with your friends to talk about random shit.
“There’s a party tomorrow at one of the frats,” Jaemin slowly starts, eyebrows raising up and down.
“Don’t tell me you’re gonna try to drag us to a party that you want to go to,” Renjun groans.
“This should be good news for you, I don’t see any bitches on your radar,” Jeno says, with Renjun immediately motioning to hit him.
Everyone laughs at them, and Haechan points and claps at how red Renjun has gotten. Renjun sends glares towards everyone and splutters to come up with an argument for his own sake. “That isn’t even fair! Why am I the only one getting laughed at when Mark and Haechan are sitting right there!”
“I get bitches, I just keep it to myself,” Mark chimes.
“And I have a girlfriend,” Haechan proudly states.
Jaemin takes a jab at Haechan, “No offense to you, dude, but it still looks like you get no bitches.”
“Okay, first of all,” Haechan yells, and everyone groans before he starts again, “you are all jealous of me and the beautiful relationship I have with my beautiful girlfriend.”
Murmurs of sure and I guess fill the room and Haechan feels the need to defend you. He can’t let his friends tell him otherwise, not when you literally made him hard in class just a few hours ago.
“We fuck and love each other at the same time, so that means the both of us are better than all of you.” 
They all stare at him in silence for what feels like forever. Haechan can only stand there and awkwardly stare back. It’s not that he feels awkward, but why are they making it awkward for him? It’s silent until one voice speaks up. Mark Lee.
“The only thing I can agree on from that whole thing is the fact that your girlfriend is hot. She has a nice pair of tits.” Before Haechan can process what was just said, Mark adds, “I would genuinely call her mommy.”
Instead of staring awkwardly, Haechan is now pointedly staring at Mark in shock and… anger? Firstly, Haechan didn’t even say you were hot in his mini speech but said beautiful instead. Secondly, why is he even staring at your tits? Those aren’t his to stare at? How long has he been thinking that? Lastly, who the hell gets a mommy kink from staring at a pair of tits?
In Haechan’s daze, everyone is either outwardly or inwardly agreeing with Mark. In Haechan’s peripheral, he sees Jeno shake Mark’s hand. Even Renjun is silently nodding along to Mark’s words. Jaemin stares at Haechan, which then turns into pointing and laughing at him.
“Guys. You… What the fuck is wrong with all of you? You all are horrible people, please tell me you’re joking.” Haechan feels quite literally batshit insane at how all his friends just agreed with one another that you’re hot as fuck. What the fuck. Are they all just staring at your tits without him knowing? Do you know? Do they all want to call you mommy?
Mark starts with a smile on his face, “I am so serious,” he stares up at Haechan with a look that feels like it’s challenging him, “I would call her mommy and let her do whatever she wants with me.”
At his words, Haechan feels something… different… settle at the bottom of his stomach. The thought of you doing whatever you wanted, pushing him to his limits, all while calling you mommy. He feels a weight on his chest and he slightly shivers at the thought. God, he thinks to himself, what would you even do to him? 
Jeno laughs at Mark saying, “I didn’t take you to be so submissive.” Mark laughs along with him, “I’m not, but with someone as mommy as her, I would immediately be on my knees if she asked me to.” 
Before Mark can say anything else regarding his girlfriend, Haechan cuts them all off with a That’s enough of talking about my girlfriend's tits for the night. He still has that heavy feeling looming inside of him, thoughts running rampant through his mind.
He couldn’t wait to be back at his apartment.
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After toughing it out at the library, the Chemistry report was finished. It might not be your best work, but it’s better than nothing at all. Making your way to your apartment, you reminisce on the day you had. Your class was canceled, you had lunch, another boring class, then the library. You focus on the canceled class, which led you to a wonderful chat with your boyfriend.
No matter how long it’s been in your relationship, Haechan always reacts to a nude so nicely, so desperate. It spurs you on at how much he loves your body, how much he loves you, to the point where he gets so worked up that he needs you right there. Even though he couldn’t act on that today, seeing how reacted on text satisfied that need for you. 
It surprises you how much he’s opened up to you over the course of time. When you had first seen him on that day you had lunch with Mark, he seemed shy. Mark had briefly talked about him before, how he was always screaming in his ear, so seeing him like that confused you. His cheeks were slightly flushed, and when you shook hands, they were clammy.
You knew from that point on you had to have him for yourself. You wanted to see his shy demeanor melt away while he talked to you. Over time, he showed how comfortable he was with you by clinging on to your side, taking you out to lunch, and making a playlist of songs that reminded him of you. This only solidified how badly you needed him.
And you got him. Through a rushed confession, he explained how he didn’t want to ruin what you both had but he had to tell you how he felt. You immediately told him you felt the same way, and the rest was history. You know him like the back of your hand, and you wouldn’t want it any other way.
He treats you well, like a friend, but with love that never seems to leave. You gave him all that you had, all your love, your body, your mind. He gives you back everything tenfold, and he tells you there could never be a time where he doesn’t love you. Those words show in everything he does with you.
Especially the nights with hushed whispers for only you to hear. Where he takes his time with you, taking off your clothes in a pace that makes sense to him. He kisses you softly, his body on top of yours. I love you, he says. You moan out as he drags his kisses down to your jawline, sucking onto a sensitive spot. He continues to trail down your body with his lips, all while hearing you whine out for him.
“Haechan-” your whimper cuts you off, “please don’t tease me.” 
He’s down by your navel when he chuckles at you. “I wouldn’t dream of it, baby.” He nuzzles his nose to the seat of your panties, your smell taking the last of his self control. “My pretty baby will let me eat her out, won’t she?” 
Who are you to deny him when he asks so nicely?
Your phone dings once you make it home. A text from Haechan. 
[hae] 11:08, i’m making it back to my place soon
[my beloved 🫂] 11:08, i just got back to mine too
[my beloved 🫂] 11:09, hopefully i can see u tomorrow
[my beloved 🫂] 11:09, rest up
[my beloved 🫂] 11:09, i have all day tomorrow to spend w you
[hae] 11:09, yes ma’am 🫡 
[hae] 11:10, love you baby
You send a quick voice message saying Love you too, and please go to sleep early. 
[hae] 11:11, hae loved a message. 
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So he didn’t go to sleep like you had asked him to. On the car ride back that Jeno had offered him, he couldn’t stop thinking about one thing. You. Specifically, you on top of him, all while he would be reaching out to you, begging for you.
He’s not even quite sure what a mommy kink entails. It’s not that he’s never heard of it- being chronically online almost forces him to hear that word- he’s just not sure what else you do with a mommy kink. He knows he would be submissive and that he would call you mommy, but what else is there to it?
That’s why once he says goodnight to Jeno after dropping him off at his apartment complex, he doesn’t feel guilty for being curious over such a thing. He doesn’t feel guilty when he rushes to his bedroom, grabbing his laptop and ripping off his shirt. He doesn’t feel guilty in finding a pornsite, typing in mommy in the search bar. He doesn’t feel guilty scrolling through all the videos, feeling himself get hard. 
He settles for a video titled, Mommy Uses Her Sweet Boy Until He Cries. He watches the video, a man with his arms tied to the bed. He begins grinding his hand against the front of his sweats, a woman walks in and starts giving the man a handjob. He pushes his sweats down hastily, whines and whimpers fill the room, his mommy taking what’s hers. Haechan releases himself from the confines of boxers, his neediness beginning to hurt him.
After a while, the video plays forgotten in the background. Haechan is lost in his own thoughts. He wants you to treat him how he usually treats you. Thoughts of you here, in between his thighs, touching him in a way he can’t imagine. As much as he wishes that was real, it wasn't. He’s stuck in his room, pathetically getting himself off to a kink that was just introduced to him. 
He can feel his thoughts melt away, entering a headspace he has never dealt with before. He’s never felt this sensitive while getting himself off. His fist tightens around his tip, which causes him to whimper out. He knew he was more vocal than other people in bed, but he realizes tonight takes the cake. He’s leaking precum, his cock begging to be touched once more.
He manages to open his eyes and refocus on the video. The man in question is currently being edged before the woman brings her hand up to his nipple to toy with him, to which Haechan outwardly moans at the sight. Haechan’s own hand reaches up to his chest and hesitantly pulls at his own nipple. Not realizing how sensitive he could be, Haechan cums on the spot. 
Haechan feels as though he can see himself from the outside of his body in a third person view. The image of him, with spurts of his cum across his stomach, one hand tweaking his nipple and the other going to covering his mouth is engrained at the back of his head. If he thinks hard enough, he can feel you sitting atop his thighs doing all this for him, whispering how good he’s been into his ear, how he must’ve been so eager and desperate in order to cum that fast.
After a few minutes of laying in that spot, ears ringing, harsh breaths evening out, he opens his eyes and thinks. Is he… supposed to tell you what he just did? You both never really talked about stuff like this before, but he can’t imagine just springing this on to you. He cringes at the thought, and hesitantly pulls out his phone. He opens up your messages, and he twiddles his thumbs at the side of his phone.
He looks over to his laptop, the video he had been playing had now ended, the video replaying in his head. He bites the inside of his cheek as he types out to you, deleting the message before retyping it again.
[hae] 12:48, can i ask you something?
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The next morning, Haechan wakes up hot and sweaty. He’s not quite sure why, not until he can feel himself throbbing in his boxers. With that in mind, he remembers the dream he had containing the both of you. He can’t remember all the details, something along the lines of you on top of him, taking everything you needed from him. Whatever it was, Haechan feels the need to get off again to the thought of you. 
He does. The thought of your tits in his face all while getting a handjob was enough to quickly get him off. After washing up, he can feel his face getting hot. He hasn’t been this shy at the thought of you since you both first met. Before he can get too into his thoughts, he remembers that he texted you last night. He may have subtly (read: not at all subtle) asked what you thought of a mommy kink. He doesn’t want to read back the texts, knowing that his messages were all jumbled, adrenaline and giddiness written all over them.
He tries not to get too excited at the thought of it. He scrolls through Instagram to distract himself, but one of your friends just posted a picture of the both of you, your pretty face and tits right there for him to look at. He bites his lips, nasty thoughts of you filling his head. He goes to start up one of his games, but ends up staring at the starting screen. All of his thoughts lead back to you. He realizes he's at his breaking point when he's literally waiting for a message from you.
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After laying in bed for an hour straight, you finally decide to get up. Fridays are the days you get to relax, meet up with your boyfriend, and do whatever you both want without worrying about classes. You had mutually agreed at the start of the semester to spend Fridays together because both of your schedules allowed for it. There was never a day you weren’t excited for Fridays to come, always happy to see your boyfriend. 
Before you actually get up, you do a quick scan of all your apps. On Instagram, you see that your friend has posted a picture of the two of you, the one that you happened to look super good in. You see that Haechan has already liked the picture, even before you had seen it. You like the post and turn your phone off in order to go and get ready for the day.
You’re not quite sure what it is today, but you feel good. You feel like you could conquer the world with how you look and feel. Maybe it was because of the finished lab report, or maybe just the fact that you’ll be seeing your boyfriend today. If he doesn’t immediately fall to his knees and tell you that you’re the prettiest person he’s ever seen, then there has to be something wrong.
Speaking of Haechan, you remember waking up to one of his texts last night. He had randomly asked about a kink, a very specific one at that. A mommy kink. When you got his first text, you were scared, heart pounding in your chest from such an ominous message so late into the night.
[my beloved 🫂] 01:02, what happened? i was asleep im so sorry
[hae] 01:02, nothing bad dont worry baby
[hae] 01:03, i was just thinking
There was a long pause between his texts. Even if he said that there was nothing to worry about, you can’t help but wonder what he could possibly be thinking.
[my beloved 🫂] 01:14, baby youre scaring me please just tell me what you wanted to ask
[hae] 01:16, i got home and i couldnt stop thinking about you
[hae] 01:16, i wanted to ask about something i might be interested in
[hae] 01:16, would you be interested in dominating me?
[hae] 01:16, and me calling you mommy?
You stare at your screen, letting out the breath that you were holding in. On one hand, your boyfriend did not want to break up with you, which came from quickly assuming the worst. But on the other hand… what? 
You weren’t unfamiliar with how submissive men work. Before you met Haechan, you watched your fair share of porn. While most of the contents included what would be considered “vanilla” sex, there were some femdom videos that you watched. You always wondered how it would feel to have someone crying under you, the image of Haechan popping up in your head when you did. 
He must have assumed that the pause in your texting was a bad sign, quickly backtracking and apologizing. It was cute, how embarrassed he got as he tried to change the subject. You can imagine him squirming around in bed, trying to push back his fantasies of you while texting. You interrupt him. 
[my beloved 🫂] 01:24, i wouldnt mind.
Rereading your texts, you realize how badly you need to see him again.
You text him asking if you should both meet up. You both agree on meeting up in the evening in order to get take-out together, spending the rest of the night in each other's presence. There’s nothing more than you could ask for besides being there besides him, the comfort of his presence bringing you more peace than anything else could. 
Even though you were ready for a nice night with him, you prepared yourself. The image of your boyfriend thinking of you, being so interested in being submissive, makes your heart beat a little faster. You bite your lip, wanting to see your boyfriend fall apart under you, wanting to hear his cries. Maybe Haechan has finally rubbed off on you, and you smile at the thought of it.
You spend the rest of the day cleaning up around your apartment, waiting for your boyfriend’s arrival.
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Before the sun fully sets, Haechan alerts you that he’s outside. You trot to the door with a smile on your face. It feels like forever since you had last seen him (you fully know it’s been less than a day). When you open the door for him, he’s standing there, gawking at you. You see that his cheeks are lightly dusted pink, his mouth trying to form some words.
When you go to hug him, he feels stiff against your own body before deciding to hug you back. Though you knew that he might act a little different, starting from the picture you sent him to the mommy kink confession, but you didn’t think he’d be like this. It’s nice to see him like this again, and as you move to press a kiss to his cheek, he turns redder.
You both settle in and sit next to each other on your couch. He’s properly talking to you now, but you can see how he’s still a little nervous. In a way, it reminds you of how he acted when you both first met. Shy looks and responses, scratching at his neck, and fidgeting with his hands. You go to hold his hand, pressing a kiss to the top of it, causing him to laugh softly.
You’re not sure if bringing up the texts last night would be any good, you think it’d be better for him to bring it up when he’s comfortable. You don’t want to rush him into anything. Even if you can see how he stares at your lips and chest too hard, you don’t want to start anything he isn’t ready for. You both were here for something else, anyways: food.
“Instead of going to a restaurant, do you want to just go to the convenience store down the street? I’m feeling a little lazy.” Haechan coos at you and presses a kiss to your cheek. You both gather your things to make the small trip to and from. You lock your door and turn to look at Haechan as he reachesfor your hand and holds it. You grin at him, pressing yourself into his side as you walk down the slightly lit up street.
The convenience store is a short trip, maybe only a five minute walk from your apartment. You have a small conversation on your way there over how your day was, his hand still intertwined with yours. But with a stroke of luck, you manage to meet you and Haechan’s mutual friend, Mark Lee. You’re pretty sure Haechan notices him first, and he signals to you of his presence by squeezing your hand tighter. 
You look up, and there’s Mark with a smile on his face, waving at the both of you. What you miss though is Haechan’s reaction to him and how Mark looks at you. Before Haechan greets Mark, he lets go of your hand and opts to wrap his arm around your waist. You snuggle into him, and you can hear him call out to his friend.
“Hey guys!” Mark says with a teasing smile on his face, “Feels like forever since I’ve seen you!” and you laugh at him. It’s rare that you see Mark on his own without a friend by his side, specifically, your boyfriend. You and Mark don’t hang out alone as much as you used to, but you still consider him a close friend. After all, he was the one who introduced you to Haechan. 
After a few words are exchanged, there’s a pause in conversation that you can’t quite decipher. You see Haechan and Mark eyeing each other, sending challenging looks to one another. 
“Alright!” you clap, “Me and Haechan have some cheap food to buy and eat, so we’. See you soon, Markie!” You pat Mark’s shoulder as you walk away and Haechan just nods him off. 
“What was that all about?”
“Nothing… but since when did you call him Markie?”
You roll your eyes.
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While eating your food, you had asked Haechan if Mark had finally bothered him back. He just laughed and said He has nothing on me! Allegedly, Haechan had beaten Mark too mamy times at Mario Kart to the point where they had a full on argument over how Haechan was somehow cheating. You let out a confused laugh at his words, and Haechan can only say, “The world still hasn’t realized I’m just too good at everything.”
You flick his forehead. 
“So you weren’t being all shy because of the picture I sent yesterday? Or even what you texted me last night…?” you tease, sensing how he’s more comfortable. He covers his face with one hand while slight embarrassment takes over. He doesn’t look uncomfortable, but you can sense a shift in his demeanor as he takes in your words. He nods his head, sliding his tongue along the inside of his cheek.
You finish eating and a movie is put on. The movie is fine, but you’re more focused on Haechan. Though you wanted to take things slow, you can’t help but stare at him. You don’t necessarily do anything new, but you just need him close to you right now.
You tuck yourself to his side, burying your head into his shoulder. Being a seemingly innocent action, he gladly accepts your touch. Minutes pass, and he hasn’t moved to do anything besides moving his arm to hold you by the waist. Your neediness seems to take over, as you move your hand to his upper thigh. You can feel him jump ever so slightly, a feeling of satisfaction coursing through you.
Your thumb rubs the inner part of his thigh, and you feel his fingers twitch at your side. You know he gets riled up with needy touches, you’re just trying to see if he wants to do anything tonight. You place light kisses along his neck, a soft whine escaping your lips, begging him to do something.
Clearly having enough of your antics, he grabs you by the hips and places you on top of his thighs. His face is flushed, his eyes shyly looking up at yours. Despite all the times you’ve both been in this position before, it feels like the first. A shy, yet expectant Haechan under you, waiting for you to make a move.
You move to press kisses along the moles on his cheeks, Haechan’s eyes fluttering shut and the feeling of your soft lips on his skin. His hands grip tightly on your hips, encouraging you to continue. You move to the middle of his collarbones, a wet kiss pressed onto the mole there. You lick a stripe up to the mole on his neck, and he lets out a choked moan.
You sit back up, looking down to see his face. He looks at you with a look you haven’t quite seen before. He looks… desperate. Not that he hasn’t been desperate to fuck you before, but there’s a different meaning behind his eyes and his touch. You’re almost reminded of yourself, how you might look under him, begging him to fuck you already, tears threatening to fall from your eyes.
“We don’t have to do anything…” you whisper out, scared to break the tension you’ve created. His mouth opens, but nothing comes out. He shifts under you, and you feel his erection press into your thigh. You giggle at him, and he shuts his eyes, groaning to himself. He finally moves, suddenly wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you directly on top of his clothed cock.
“Been needing you all day,” he stifles a moan when he feels you grind yourself onto him, “wanna feel you, wanna show everyone that you’re mine.” You whine out his name and he pulls you into a kiss. It’s messy, tongues sloppily moving against each other. Drool spills past your lips, and Haechan moves to lick it right back up. Your hands move to grip on his shoulders, needing to be grounded.
You need him inside of you already. You’re sure you’ve stained his sweatpants already, feeling yourself dripping with every motion. He seems too focused on what’s happening now though, feeling too sensitive with how much he’s twitching under you. Your hands move up to his hair to get him to get him to refocus, and he lets out a small whimper. You almost miss it.
He looks up at you like you were the one who made that noise. You laugh hard, “So shy,” his hips buck up, “it’s almost like the first time we had sex again.”
You’re sitting on top of him, laughing about how pathetic he looks right now. As much as he wants to laugh it off and move onto the actual fucking, he feels himself become embarrassingly close to cumming. Thoughts of the night before flood into his head, the image of you sweetly whispering in his ear saying how much you want to fuck him is getting to him.
You look almost identical to how you looked in his head last night, and he can feel himself throbbing in his sweats. It all becomes too much too fast, and he quickly apologizes and moves you off of him. You stare incredulously at the sight of him rushing to your bathroom. You hope you didn’t push things too far, letting him be alone before you ask any questions. 
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He feels so lightheaded, a heavy weight placed onto his chest. You laughed at him, made him feel so small and pathetic to the point where he could’ve cum in his pants right there. Reminding himself of what he did last night, he didn’t realize that he’d get a humiliation kink from it too. He wishes you could wrap your hand around his cock and laugh about how perverted he is from getting off to something like that. He can only wish.
For now, all he can think about is getting himself off before he can face you again. In all honesty, he was fighting himself from getting hard as soon as he saw you. You looked good today, and all the image of your chest flashed through his mind all day. How much he wanted to just take you into your room, push you onto your bed, and fuck you until you cry for him to stop.
Another part of him wishes for the opposite. He can’t help but think of you being the one making him cry. He wants to be under you, feel how your body rides him until he’s the one begging you to stop. These fantasies don’t help his throbbing cock. Despite you being seated in the other room, he figures the only thing he can do now is get himself off pathetically in your restroom.
He slides down his sweats to his midthigh, too impatient and embarrassed to go any further. The front of his boxers are wet from his dripping tip, he squeezes himself through his boxers, a soft whine trying to escape his lips. Realizing you’re still in the other room, he uses his free hand to cover up his mouth. Deciding he probably shouldn’t tease himself, he pulls down his boxers.
His dick slaps against his abdomen, flushed and dripping at the tip. He wraps a hand around the base and begins moving. He feels too sensitive just from the feeling of you on top of him, dangerously close already. His hips begin to buck against his hand, everything feeling like too much and not enough. If he could, he’d ask you to come in and help him cum. 
The thought of a teasing smile adorning your face makes a strangled moan come out of his mouth, almost too loud. He can hear you get up from your couch, making your way to your room. He continues to fist his cock, drool slipping out of his mouth and smearing messily against his palm. He feels like a pervert right now, fucking his hand in your restroom.
As if he couldn’t be even more embarrassed, he swears that you’ve stopped in front of your restroom door. The sound of whimpers and soft cries worrying you to where you have to check in on him. He wonders if you’ve put your ear to the door, wonders if you can hear the sounds of him fisting his cock. He can’t help but think if you would call him pathetic, tell him how much he should be lucky that you’re willing to fuck him.
A low moan escapes past his lips and he can hear you gasp on the other side. He hears you run to your room, softly closing the door. You were listening. His body feels numb and strained at the same time. Every muscle tensing, his dick twitching in his palm, begging for release. He imagines you in your room, your thighs squeezing together, getting ready to get yourself off to the sound of your boyfriend getting himself off like a loser.
A familiar feeling sets at the bottom of his stomach, mind going blank from his incoming orgasm. Only thoughts of you fill his mind, his pretty girlfriend being so clueless over his desires. He wonders if you would let him call you mommy right now. At the thought, his body becomes undone. Cum spurts from his tip, shooting all over his stomach and chest. His hand continues to move until it feels too much, having to forcibly stop himself.
He takes a few breaths. He feels gross and sweaty, looking down at himself to see the mess he’s made. He grabs some toilet paper and cleans up his cum. He moves to wash his hands, looking at himself in your mirror. He looks fucked out. His face still flushed, eyes looking droopy. He’s not sure how he’s supposed to approach this, not sure if you both should just talk about it.
All he can do now is sigh to himself, ready to face what you might ask him. He needs to decide on whether he should tell you everything he’s done or push it off until later.
Fuck Mark Lee.
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You can hear your bathroom door unclick, nervousness suddenly taking over your body. Haechan must be finished with… what he was doing. You’re not really sure how to feel about it. You know what he was probably thinking of, but you’re not sure why he couldn’t just do it with you. You never told him no, but he was forcibly keeping it from you.
You hear him slowly walk to your door, stopping right before the entrance. After a few seconds, he opens it, not meeting your eyes. You quietly call out his name, which he hesitantly looks up at you. He looks a little shocked, a small blush spreading across his face. You pat a spot next to you on your bed, beckoning him over. He follows, placing himself quite awkwardly next to you.
“Are you… okay?” You ask him.
“I’m fine, I just needed a moment to myself.” He's not looking at you, instead putting his attention to the fingers he’s picking at.
You grab his hand, refocusing his attention on you, “I heard you, in the restroom,” his eyes widen a little, “I thought you were hurt, but I don’t think that’s what you were doing.” You trail off, waiting for him to try to piece together your thoughts. When he gives you a confused look, you continue, “If I was pushing you too hard, or- or rushing you into doing something you weren’t ready for, I’m sorry.”
Once Haechan puts together what you’re trying to say, he immediately denies it. “It really isn’t because of you! You haven’t done anything wrong,” he shouts, “it’s just… I…” You look at him expectantly, waiting for him to finish his sentence. He gives you one last look before he rushes out, “I just didn’t wanna cum too fast in front of you.”
He shuts his eyes in embarrassment, putting his head in his hands in order to shield himself from you. You have to forcefully stop yourself from laughing out loud. You carefully remove his hands from his face, getting him to look at you once more. You cup his face in your hands, your thumb tracing along the moles on his cheek. He nuzzles softly into your touch, you can feel the warmth from his face seep into your hands. 
“You don’t have to feel embarrassed,” you chuckle, “it makes me feel good knowing that you found me that sexy.”
He groans when he removes his face from you, “I almost came in my pants because of you,” he places a soft kiss to your thumb, “you did things to me that you don’t even know.”
“Care to tell me what I did to get you so worked up?” You smile, faking innocence in order to hear what your boyfriend thinks about you.
Haechan is silent for a few moments, clearly trying to bring his thoughts together. You try to figure it out yourself. There was the picture, the texts, your teasing. Maybe it had something to do with that interaction with Mark that you didn’t quite understand. Despite all these ideas you’ve come up with, you’re not ready for what he says to you.
“Liked it when… I liked it when you laughed at me.” He mumbles out.
You try not to gawk at him, but it’s damn near impossible to hear your boyfriend tell you that he liked it when you laughed at him. During sex. You laughed at him over how shy he looked, and he liked it? It’s not a mommy kink, but you can assume that’s where it definetly came from. 
“Can you explain… what you mean a little more?” You ask.
“Do you want the story in full detail or a quick summary?” He laughs dryly, clearly trying to push his embarrassment away.
“Do a quick summary for me and I’ll ask some questions at the end.” You answer, sitting up a little more straight.
He sighs, becoming a bit more serious with the conversation. After a few breaths, how sort of lied earlier, something did happen between him and Mark. Mark said something about you which made Haechan think differently. He reiterates how these were really good thoughts, but he was just pissed because Mark thought it first. “Also why is he thinking about you when you’re my girlfriend. Tell me he wasn’t clearly trying to get with you before I met you.”
You roll your eyes, Haechan deciding to focus on the smaller issue. You do like seeing him jealous though, especially since this was his own best friend. You’ll pocket that for later though, refocusing on the bigger issue.
“What exactly did he say about me that made you come to your big conclusion?”
At your words, Haechan begins to blush again. He really is acting like how he did at the beginning of your relationship, you think. He’s not really looking at you, and you try to reassure him that he doesn’t have to tell you if he’s not comfortable. This clearly has been bothering him all day, and you assume that this has to deal with his confession from earlier. 
“He just… he said that… that he would be submissive if he were with you. He said he’d call you… mommy.” He mumbled the words near the end, but you heard him clearly. 
In a hypothetical world where Mark was dating you, he would let you dominate him. So Haechan, probably pissed that Mark was thinking that, thought of himself in that position, and also liked it? You feel warmth spread through your body, thoughts begin to fill your head.
You release a breath you didn’t even know you were holding. Haechan takes it as a sign of disgust, immediately backtracking. “I know it seems kinda weird, and I’m not saying that we have to do it now! I just-”
You cut him off, “Why didn’t you tell me how badly you wanted it?” He gapes at you, and you’re honestly quite surprised at your own words. You’re not sure what persona takes over you, but you’re filled with the desire to see this different side to your boyfriend.
Remembering a conversation before you started dating Haechan, before you both even hung out alone together, Mark had told you something about Haechan. At the time, it didn’t seem like it would be too important to your relationship, but now, you might see what Mark meant.
“Did you know that Haechan likes it when girls are mean to him?”
You laugh out at Mark’s words, “Why are you airing out his business to me?”
“It’s not not important! It’s just, like, you need to keep this in mind when you talk to him.”
“What are you saying?” You raise an eyebrow at him, sensing what his words mean in regards to you and Haechan’s relationship.
“Well, you’re the meanest person I know, so that means you and Haechan are meant to be together!”
He’s laughing at you, and you playfully yell at him to stop, shoving him forwards. You feel your face heat up before entering the dining hall, wondering if Haechan told Mark that he likes the way you speak to him. You can feel something stir inside you.
“It’s not that I didn’t want to, it’s just that I didn’t know if you-”
“Are you hard?” You cut him off, laughing at how he cowers in front of you. He tries considerably hard to conceal the small whimper that threatens to fall from his mouth, but it slips out. You hear it and smile sweetly at him, “Do you need help with that?”
He nods vigorously and you go to sit comfortably on his lap. He immediately wraps his arms over the expanse of your back, arms moving wildly in order to touch every part of you. You first place a chaste kiss to his lips, then you begin to slowly kiss him. Although he tries to keep up with the slow pace, you can practically feel how impatient he gets. His tongue traces every corner of your mouth, and you can feel drool slipping down past your lips.
When you have to forcibly pull him away from you, there’s a line of spit connecting your bottom lip to the corner of his mouth. You bring a thumb to his mouth to clean him up, giggling at how he looks at you with a daze in his eyes. While you’ve seen your boyfriend look like this before, it has never been quite like this. You set the pace, you have the control, you’re the more dominant one.
“I can feel how hard you are, just from some kissing…” he moans out at your words and you slowly begin to grind yourself on him. His hands instinctively move to grab your hips in order to set the pace, but you pull his hands off of you. “That’s not how it goes. Not tonight.”
He lets out a shaky breath, affected by both your actions and your words. It was somehow so easy for you to slip into this position, while he was the one struggling to tell you what he wanted. The feeling of you resuming to grind down on his dick causes him to whine out, trying to keep his hands at his sides. It feels so different, so messy, so good.
It’s not like you both haven’t been in this position before, but Haechan can feel that he’s extra sensitive tonight. Despite how he came multiple times last night and once more in the morning, everything always feels better when you’re there to help him. 
He hears you whispering in his ear, licking stripes onto his throat. Your hands at some point made their way under his shirt, now lightly making scratches over his abdomen. With all of this combined, he feels himself coming close to the edge. He tries to lightly call out your name, but only small whimpers come out.
You look up at him, “What is it?” You already know that he’s about to cum, his hips subconsciously bucking up into you. The drag of his cock against your panties sends shivers up his spine. He can feel how wet you are, dripping through your underwear and letting him grind easier into you. You smile at him and reach for his hands, guiding them under your shirt and to your boobs. Finally allowing him to touch, he recreates all the images from his head last night.
As if he were a depraved man, he licks all over your chest, not caring how messy it gets. You moan out to him, and he gives you everything you want. You look down at him, his hair ruffled up and his eyes closed, suckling on your skin. He’s rutting into you helplessly, fully willing to cum just like this.
You have other plans though. So when he calls out your name in a high-pitched whimper, you pull yourself off of him. He immediately groans, hands moving to pull you back on his aching cock, but you push him down onto your bed. He looks so fucked out, and all that he’s gotten was a few touched. You smile at him, moving towards him to slowly pull off his sweatpants.
You’ve left him in his boxers, his cock straining heavily against them. You press a kiss to his clothed tip before moving up his body, right back up to his pretty face. His round eyes look up at yours, pupils blown out with lust. You smile down at him, your hand moving to hold his warm cheek. He nuzzles into it while you sneak your other hand down to lightly touch his cock
He lets out a shaky breath, shoving his head further into the pillows. You softly call him, and he focuses back on you. You move to kiss him slowly, kissing him deeply as your hand palms over his cock. You can feel him twitching in your hold, can feel how he pants against your lips. You press into his tip, feeling the patch of precum that’s formed as you scoff at him. He laughs, but is cut off when you go down to his balls.
His hips fuck up into nothing, chasing any stimulation. He’s moaning into your mouth, becoming needier with your barely there touches. He whines out, “N-need more, need you to touch me more.”
“But I already am? I’m touching you, aren’t I?
He nods quickly, “I know, but I just- I need to feel you…”
“My poor baby,” a quiet whimper follows, “I think you should just take what you get.” Your fingers move to circle tightly around his leaking tip, which he takes as a sign to begin humping against your hand. He’s quick, trying to quickly get off from all your teasing. He’s letting out small moans, embarrassed with how good it feels.
You can feel how close he is, his eyes shut, hand gripped onto your side as he incessantly fucks into your hand. He’s whining your name, begging for more, begging for you. With a smile on your face, you pull your hand away from him, watching in awe at how he cries out while fucking his hips in the air. You laugh out increduously, and Haechan has to forcibly grip himself at his base in order to stop himself from cumming right there.
“Can’t believe I get to see you like this… never thought that you’d be into something this dirty before.”
He cries out, shaking his head, “I’m a good boy, wanna be a good boy for you.”
You squeeze your thighs together, trying to help the ache you feel. You shush him, pressing soft kisses onto his lips as he moves to grind against your thigh. You press up into him and you can feel how hard he grinds into you, savoring the friction. He’s lost in pleasure, and you can tell by how his tongue moves lazily against you, cock searching for any relief.
Your hand slips under his boxers, finally touching him like he wants. He softly thanks you, bucking his hips up against the tight hold you have on him. Your thumb circles his tip, spreading his precum around to help the glide of your hand. He whines out, feeling too sensitive from being edged. “Slow down, Haechan.”
He just nods, not really hearing your words. His hips move in time with your movements. Eyes shut and eyebrows furrowed, only thinking about the softness of your hand against him. He needs more, needs to feel all of you on him. He moves to grab your hand, moving it to his chest. He looks at you with hooded eyes, telling you everything you need to know.
You’ve always known how sensitive his chest was, but before you could ever do anything, he’d swat your hands away with a nervous laugh. Now, being here, you circle his nipple, indulging in how he twitches in your hold, body shivering against the feeling. “So sensitive, you’d probably be happy cumming like this, right?”
He nods, subtly asking for more as he arches his chest into you, begging for your touch. You pinch his nipple and roll it around your fingers, Haechan shoving his head into your shoulders to hide the embarrassingly loud whimpers coming out of him. He’s leaking all over your hand, slick sounds coming from where you’re jerking him off. “Are you gonna cum? Gonna make a mess all over my hand?”
He’s far gone, feeling his warm breath against your skin as he helplessly fucks your fist. He’s so desperate, right now, taking so much from you when you’re giving him so little. You realize that this is what he’s been wanting all day, waiting for you to put him in his place. His hips begin to stutter against you, and you know he’s about to cum. In awe, you whisper out to him, “Are you gonna cum for mommy?”
He lets out a loud whimper, not even waiting for you to give him permission to cum.
You feel spurts of his cum all over your hand, how he bucks into your fist to ride out his orgasm. You help him, gliding your hand over his length until he whines out from the overstimulation. You chuckle as you pull your cum-covered hand away. Haechan watches in interest as you bring your hand to your mouth, licking up his cum from your fingers and swallowing. He groans before pulling you into one last kiss, tasting his cum on your tongue.
You both lay in your bed, your hands caressing his back as he lets out soft breaths against you, pressing light kisses to your shoulder. You both lay there, enjoying the warmth that your bodies are emanating. His breaths are getting deeper, slowly getting lulled to sleep by your touches. You press a kiss to the top of his head, “You did so well for me, Haechan.”
You can feel him smile against your skin as he falls asleep.
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There’s been tension in the air.
Ever since the other night, you haven’t been able to keep yourself away from Haechan. No one’s bothered to make a move since then, the only thing he’s offered you are heavy stares and subtle kisses. Even though you’re supposed to be the one dominating him, it feels more like you’re waiting on him. You wonder if all he needed was one fix of you catering to his thoughts.
You didn’t want to beg him to let him dominate you, it should be the other way around. You aren’t sure how to approach it, not even sure how Haechan managed to tell you. It’s not embarrassing, but you don’t want to do something he doesn’t want to do anymore. If he really wanted it, he would’ve told you already.
Throughout the week, you try to signal to him that you’re ready, that you’re just waiting on him. You press kisses along his shoulder while he’s gaming, you rub against him while you’re out, you sit on his lap, hoping for something.
You don’t get it, and you’re sure at this point, you never will.
It isn’t until one day you’re getting ready to go out and eat with him, but this time, Mark has somehow made his way into your plans. You’re not upset with it, but Haechan was trying to usher you away from him. He tried saying that Mark was going to take your food while he wasn’t looking, and would try to make you pay for him, but you roll your eyes at him. Haechan is being too dramatic, but you remember the conversation they had the other night.
He’s jealous. You think you might use his jealousy today to benefit the both of you. 
When you eventually meet up with Mark, Haechan has you tightly around his side, puffing out his chest. Mark doesn’t miss the hold he has on you, ignoring it to instead focus on greeting the both of you. 
If Haechan never told you about their conversation, you would’ve missed the energy between the both of them. It’s at this point where you realize that the weird stares they sent each other a few nights ago match the ones they’re doing now. They’re challenging each other, Haechan making sure Mark won’t do anything out of line. Mark eventually breaks eye contact with him, turning to look at you instead.
“Just wanted to get some food with you guys. I haven’t hung out with you in such a long time,” Mark grins.
“If it weren’t for Haechan, I would still be going out to lunch with you,” you tease, trying to get a reaction out of Haechan. It works, hearing him grumble out intelligible words as he tries to get you both moving. You’re sure Mark wouldn’t actually do anything to impose on you and Haechan’s relationship, probably just enjoying getting back at his friend after so many years. 
It doesn’t feel like that to Haechan though. He can feel his blood boiling watching Mark take all your attention away at the diner. Even if you’re seated right there next to Haechan, all your attention is on Mark, sitting right across from you. He doesn’t know what to do, feeling frustrated that your eyes aren’t on him, your hands not touching him, your mouth on his-
Okay. He has to stop his mind from going in too deep too fast. He tries for about a good five seconds before giving up, all the tension from this week suddenly piling up and becoming too much for him. It doesn’t matter if he’s the one pinning you to the bed or the other way around, he just needs you right now. If only Mark wasn’t here, he would’ve dragged you all the way back to your apartment already.
But he can’t, not with Mark practically taking you away from him at this point. All he can do is shove the last of his food in his mouth as he thinks of what to do. He can’t just tell you he’s horny in front of his literal best friend, so the best he can do is place a hand on your thigh. You’re not phased though, conversation still flowing between you and Mark. He takes out his phone, pretending to mindlessly scroll while he rubs his thumb on your inner thigh. 
You don’t seem to mind until his hand trails up higher, your hand suddenly wrapping around his wrist, stopping his trail. You shoot him a quick look, and Haechan sends a smile your way. Your hand moves away while Haechan stares at his still left on your thigh. He gives it a squeeze, feeling how your thigh twitches under his hold. He bites his lips, trying not to get too hasty.
He wants to see how far he can push you until you break, until you pull your attention away from Mark and onto him. He realizes where your line is when he grabs your hand and places it onto his bulge. You push your hand away, swatting at his hands that chase yours. You can see how Mark gives you both a confused look, and all you can do is send him an annoyed smile as you fight with Haechan under the table.
You lean into his ear, whispering, “Do that again and I’ll leave you to cum by yourself tonight.”
Haechan immediately sits up straight.
Mark knows none the wiser of what you just said to Haechan, instead laughing at how he’s shut up so fast. You continue talking with Mark as Haechan sits there quietly, his cock hard and straining against his jeans.
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Before Haechan knows it, he’s shoved against your apartment door as you kiss him, hands threaded in his hair as he whines out to you. “Shouldn’t even be doing this to you,” you murmur against his skin, “you were being so bad earlier.”
“I would’ve been nice if it weren’t for Mark taking away all your attention,” he huffs out, already out of breath from your ministrations.
So that’s what this is all about, you think. You pull lightly on his hair as you suckle on the mole of his neck, earning a small whimper. The shy and embarrassed Haechan from before is gone, taken over by a desperate and needy Haechan. His hands find your hips, groping at the flesh as he takes what you give him. “Needed you so bad, you don’t even know.”
“I could tell, you were practically begging me to fuck you in the diner.” He bats his eyes at you, grabbing one of your hands and placing it on his bulge again. You smile sweetly at him, lightly tracing the outline of his cock through his pants. His head slumps on your shoulder, falling apart immediately with the light touches you give him. You tease his clothed tip, his hips rutting into your hand to chase more pleasure. 
You leave your hand for him to hump against, letting himself fall apart over you. You can feel a small patch of precum form on his pants, swirling your thumb around his tip as he moans out to you. He’s getting to the edge too fast, “Need you to- fuck, mommy, need you to-”
You cut him off quickly, “What was that?”
He looks at you with wide eyes, face flushed and panting as he tries to backtrack. His hands slip from your body as he steps back, trying to explain himself as if you both didn’t already talk about it. You grab his hips and push them flush to yours, “What did you call me, baby?”
Haechan whimpers at the petname, his lips messily pressing against yours as he moans into your mouth. He slots a leg in the middle of your thighs, his hard cock pressing into your upper thigh. “Please, mommy, please fuck me already.”
His neediness is getting to you, feeling his cock hump against your thigh. His voice sounds like he’s almost crying, just from light touching and dry humping. You can feel your own body go hot, moving your thigh up to press harder into his cock. He whimpers out a thank you as he presses harder against you, tongue intertwining with yours.
As much as it’s nice to see him fall apart like this, you’d much rather see him like this when he’s actually inside of you. You move to pry him off of you, ignoring his whines in order to pull him into your bedroom. He messily slips his pants off as he moves to the bed, laying back against your pillows as you watch him. You peel off your shirt and bottoms, sitting at the foot of the bed, eyeing your boyfriend. 
You realize how much you like seeing him like this. He looks so soft, so pliant under your control despite how bratty he was being earlier. You can only assume he’s like this because of how much he loves you, your heart pounding in your chest at the realization. You send a small smile his way, hand moving to cradle his face as he nuzzles into your touch. “I can’t believe how you were hiding this from me, didn’t know how much you needed me.”
He hums along to your words, hand grabbing your wrist as he rubs his thumb along your skin. It all feels sweet, if only it weren’t for how his cock is straining against his boxers. You ignore it, moving to place yourself on top of him, one thigh in between his legs as you kiss him softly. At first, he melts in your touch, taking it all in. In about thirty seconds, you can tell how impatient he’s getting.
You can feel him squirm under you, his cock subtly grinding into your thigh. You continue to ignore him, pressing kisses all over the moles on his face. His eyes are shut, heavy breaths fanning across your face as he tries to hold himself together. You wait for him to unravel, wait for him to beg out to you. You want to know that he needs you.
All it takes are a few more kisses and a few more seconds of him humping your thigh before he gives in, “Just- can you… can you please touch me, mommy?”
His eyelashes bat at you, and you flash a sickly sweet smile at him. You slowly move yourself down, pulling up his shirt to expose his chest and stomach. You kiss all over where you can reach, hearing how he lets out a small whine when you get close to his nipples. “Would my baby mind me touching his chest?”
You place your lips over one, sucking lightly onto his skin. He whines, cock pushing against your stomach as you lick all around. You look at him through hooded eyes, looking at how his arm covers his face as he fights through the stimulation. He can feel how you smile against his nipple while your other hand tweaks the neglected one. It’s all too much and all too little, “Please, need you to touch me already. Need you so bad, mommy!”
“Hmm, but I’m already touching you?” you say messily against his chest, “what more do you need?”
He rubs his hand against his face, realizing that he’s never really begged like this before. His mind feels hazy over how fast you were able to do this for him, make him beg and feel humiliated. You are everything he could have asked for. He sucks in a breath when he feels your teeth brush against him, “Just- my cock. Need to feel you touch my cock. Please.”
“All you had to do was ask, baby.” You move further down, tapping his hip to get him to lift his hips up as you take off his boxers. His cock slaps against his stomach, red and leaking at the tip, now twitching at your attention. You ghost your fingertips over his aching cock, loving how he’s already whining. You wrap your hand over his length, thumb moving up to tease his tip, “Mommy wants to see you cum, do you think you can do that for me?”
He quickly nods, “Wanna cum for you, wanna make a mess all over your hand.”
“I’ve got you, my pretty baby.” You tease his tip with the palm of your hand, spreading around his precum. After a few more whines fill the air, you build a slow rhythm of fisting his length. All the sounds that fill the room are Haechan’s whimpers and the slick sound of your hand on his cock. You press kisses to his thighs, feeling how they jump with your touch. You look up to see him fucked out by just your hand, drool slipping out of the corner of his mouth.
You move your hand faster, watching how his hips fuck up into your hand, needing more than what you’re already giving him. One of his hands trails over his body, stopping at his nipple to squeeze at it. His other hand stops at his mouth, his fingers slipping into his mouth as he moans out to you. You squeeze your thighs together, breath getting heavy from just watching him.
You absentmindly tighten your fist around him, his cock twitching in your hold, “W-wait, I’m gonna cum. Can I cum? Need to cum, mommy, please let me cum!”
You frown at him, “Already? Can’t you hold on for a little longer for mommy?”
At your words, he cums all over the tight hold of your fist. Globs of cum land on your hand and on his stomach all while Haechan’s crying out in relief. You sigh out, thumb rubbing over his tip as he yelps in surprise. He tries to reach over to pull your hand off him, but you stop him, “Mommy wants to see how much more you can take, okay?”
Whines fill the air as you quickly move your hand over his length, cum helping the slide over him. It’s messy, slick sounds mixing in with your laughs as his thighs shake around you. His hands try to push against your own while his hips fuck into your hold. Tears threaten to slip from his eyes, his pretty lips open to let cries out. “What’s wrong, baby? Tell me what’s wrong so I can help you.” you say, feigning concern as your hand twists around his cock.
“H-hurts, hurts so bad that it feels good! Please slow down… just- just a little more and I’ll cum!”
“Aw, is mommy not doing a good job?” you say, practically mocking him.
“No! Please keep going, wanna cum again!” You can see tears slip from his cheeks, his face flushed as one of his hands tugs at his hair. You pull your hand away when he tells you he’s about to cum, hearing the loud sobs he lets out as you swat away his hands that try to wrap around his length.
“Mommy wants to hear how good of a job she’s doing, won’t you tell me how good I’m doing, baby?”
Haechan cries out when he feels you softly lick at his tip, your eyes staring up at him in a way he’s seen so many times before. It’s different now though, him genuinely crying out for you to let him cum. His mind is nearly blank, thoughts only being of you looking so nice between his legs. “You… Mommy's doing such a good job, making me feel so good. Just wanna cum, wanna show mommy how good she’s doing…”
With one last kiss to his tip, you look at him and smile, “Is that true, baby?” your hand moves to his pulsing cock, “It makes me so happy to hear you say that. Might just have to reward you, hmm?”
He cries out when you start moving your fist against him, one of his hands moving to hold onto yours, entwining your fingers. It’s cute, him needing your hold to reassure him. You move down to suckle at his tip again, catching Haechan off gaurd as he shoves his cock further into your mouth. He whines at the warmth of your mouth, you tutting at him for going out of line.
You quickly jerk him off, wanting to see him cum, needing to see him fall apart. You’re breathing heavily affected by your own boyfriend. “Cum for me, mommy wants to see you cum.”
He lets go at your words, cum spurting onto your fist, helping him ride out his orgasm. His hand quickly stops yours before you can try moving your fist over him again. You chuckle at the sight, moving up towards his face. You press kisses along his tear-stained cheeks, feeling the heat radiating off his face as he comes down from his high. You thread your hands through his hair, massaging his scalp as he sniffles. 
You lean down to his ear, “Don’t you think it’s my turn now?”
“Will you… ride me?” he asks, shyly looking away from you.
You laugh at how cute he is like this, giving him one last kiss before you ask him to undress. He peels off his shirt and boxers, his eyes watching you slip off your bra and panties. He reaches out to you, trying to get you close to him. You smile as you sit right over his cock, sliding your wet cunt over his length. His head pushes back into the pillows as he grinds up into you, savoring the feeling of your slick all over him.
“Mommy’s gonna fuck you now,” a wide grin on your face as you put his tip at your entrance, teasing him as you shallowly let him slip inside you. His hands are balled into fists at his sides, his face scrunched up. You place your hands onto his shoulders as you slide down his length, the stretch sending sparks up your spine as you moan out. Even if you’re the one in control right now, it’s still your boyfriend you’re fucking, his cock almost making you lose focus.
His hands shoot up to your sides, holding onto your hips as you experimentally swivel your hips around his length. He’s holding back his moans, biting down on his lips as you bring yourself back up. Your nails dig into his skin, his length filling you up nicely. You look down at him, his eyes trailing up your chest before meeting your gaze, looking fucked out. “Tell me how much you want this, baby.”
He lets out a shaky breath, “Need you, wanna feel you cum around me. Wanna cum in you so bad, wanna fill my mommy up with my cum.”
At his words, you start bouncing on his cock. You watch his face, flushed out as his hands move to hold onto whatever he can. He gropes at your boobs, fingers teasing your nipples. The only noises in the room are his cries, your moans, and the sound of your thighs slapping against his. He’s breathing heavily, eyes watering once more. You realize what’s happening when you feel his cock twitch inside of you, your eyes widening in excitement.
“You’re gonna cum like this? I haven’t even cum yet, but you can’t help it, right? Didn’t know my good boy could be so dirty.”
He cums inside of you, hips moving against yours as you continue to fuck him. You can feel his cum slip out of your cunt, making a mess between your thighs. He’s moaning loudly, his cock softening inside of you. You laugh out at him, “You came so fast, it felt too good, right? I still need to cum,” you pout, letting your hips take over, “you’ll let me cum, yeah?”
You continue to fuck down onto him, feeling his cock twitch despite how much it might hurt for him right now. He’s fucking his hips into yours, crying out at the pain bleeding into pleasure. You rub your clit down onto him, grinding down slowly, “You know, I never thought that you’d ask me to do this. Thought you’d be able to fuck me every single time.”
He nods, not hearing you clearly as he follows your movements, cock hardening inside of you again. His cum mixed with your slick, stickiness all over his thighs as you move on top of him. He’d have it no other way, watching your face, showing him that you’re just as affected as he is. His hand reaches for yours, placing it softly on his throat. He looks at you, eyes begging you to do something.
You let out a shaky moan, feeling his cock twitch inside you when you slightly tighten your grip on his neck. “You’re still surprising me, can’t ever be satisfied with just one thing.”
You tighten your grip, moving your hips faster against him, him letting out little puffs of air. His eyes roll to the back of his skull, a soft whimper leaving his mouth, “I like you so much, mommy. I’d let you do anything to m-me.”
You let go of his throat, nearly toppling over him as you reach to kiss him. He tries to catch his breath between kisses, hands moving to your hips, moving your hips for you as you focus on him. It’s all too much, your love for him and your cunt clenching around him making it much more intense. 
“Wanna cum with you, mommy. Wanna feel your pretty pussy cum all over my cock.”
You nod, whining out to him as you bounce on his cock, tightly sucking his cock into you. Your hands reach his nipples, toying with them, silently begging him to cum already. He kisses you messily, moaning into your mouth as he finally fills you up once again. He ruts his hips into yours, trying to get you to cum. It doesn’t take much, curling into him as your orgasm washes over you, Haechan whimpering out from how tight you’re clenching around him.
You’re lying on top of him, breaths heavy as you recover from your orgasm. You look at him through bleary eyes, hands moving to wipe the tears off of his face. You slip him out of you, his thighs shaking as you do. He’s warm, melting into your touch as you sigh at him, “You did so good for me, baby. You were such a good boy.”
He smiles at you, not saying anything else as he wraps his arms tightly around you, pressing your chest against his. It’s like this for a while, listening to his heartbeat in his chest while he traces patterns on your back. It reminds you of the other night, before this all started. You grin to yourself, realizing just how lucky you are to have a boyfriend like Haechan.
He mumbles out, too tired to properly speak, “You take such good care of me.”
It almost makes you cry in a way. Now you know how Haechan feels, to give someone your everything during sex. It’s honest, your love spilling out in everything you do. You felt like you were able to pay him back for all he does for you when you whine and beg. You whisper out, not trusting your voice, “It’s only because you take such good care of me.”
A few moments pass, and you remember, “How did you know what I was supposed to do during sex? Like, choking and all that stuff.”
His eyes closed in embarrassment, “Well, the other night I kinda… got off to… all these porn videos?” 
You stare at him in amazement. You really are lucky to have someone like him. 
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Months have passed since the first time you dominated him.
Your relationship feels almost as if it were new, enjoying how Haechan tells you each of his thoughts. Hours of nonstop teasing him, him whining in your ear to make him cum. Days where he’s pushing your limits, getting off in front of you in order to get your attention. He says he’s willing to try everything that you want, willing to take any pleasure you give him because it’s you.
There is one thing that you want to try.
You know how jealous he gets of Mark when he’d subtly eye you, jealous that someone wants to take his sweet girlfriend from him. Jealous that his best friend was willing to call you mommy. Although he never really brings it up himself, you can tell that he’s quite possessive of you. Nights where he’d beg to cum in you, beg to let everyone know that you’re his proves your thoughts. 
Although you think getting pregnant would be a surefire way to get Mark off your back, you think it might be easier to show him up close. You come up with a plan to let Mark see you and Haechan in a way he hasn’t seen before.
For a week, you deny Haechan’s advances towards you. You swat his hands away when he tries to grope your ass. You wear a tank top and tiny shorts around him. You whine and beg for him and once he shows interest, you ignore him. At first, he thinks being blatantly ignored is kind of hot because, of course, he’s like that. At the end of the week, he outwardly tells you he tried jerking off but couldn’t cum because he needed you to do it. Brat.
You decide to make your move after the week has ended. You text him after your class and ask if you could make a surprise visit. He agrees and you make your way to his apartment. You find him sitting at his desk, playing Overwatch with another person. You greet him and plant a soft kiss on his lips. Before you can pull away, he deepens the kiss, hands pushing your face towards him. You chuckle lightly, “Focus on your game, Haechan.”
“Can’t. Not when my baby looks so good today.” You hear a muted gag through his headset, and Haechan quickly tells his friend to shut the fuck up. You laugh at his antics, his arms wrapped around your waist, nuzzling his face into your stomach. You brush your fingers through his hair, and he lightly groans. You untangle yourself from his grip, moving to lay on his bed.
“Who are you playing with?” You ask
“Just Mark. Why?” He responds, a hint of jealousy in his voice when you haven’t even done anything yet.
“I was just wondering…” You make yourself comfortable on his bed. 
He hums, resuming his game with Mark. You scroll through your phone, hearing the occasional swearing at Mark for not playing as good. You watch him from his bed, how focused he is on his game, his shorts showing off his pretty thighs, his fingers that tap against his keyboard. You bite your lip, putting your phone down to slowly make your way to Haechan.
He eyes you, smiling at you right by his side. He pats his thighs, silently asking you to sit on his lap. You happily agree, plopping yourself down as he wraps his arms around his back, waiting for another game to start. You sigh, nuzzling your face into his shoulder as you feel the vibrations in his chest from the chuckle he lets out, “My pretty baby, you look so cute right now.”
Before you can reply, you hear Mark speak through Haechan’s headphones. You can’t hear him clearly, but you do hear your name, which puts a frown on Haechan’s face. Haechan quickly tells him to mind his business, telling him to focus on the game that’s about to start. Haechan made this too easy, you think, relaxing into his touch as he begins his game. There’s words being exchanged, and every time Haechan gets a kill, he happily kisses you.
You think there might be a better reward other than a kiss. As the game continues, you begin to shift in his lap, pretending to get more comfortable in Haechan’s lap. You can hear how his hands stutter against his keyboard, quickly regaining his composure, thinking it was an innocent action. You smile to yourself, your boyfriend trying to hold himself back.
It’s not until you softly grind yourself onto his bare thigh, pressing light kisses on his neck. You can feel how hot he’s gotten, not really knowing what to do. It’s when he realizes that you’re only wearing panties under your shirt that he has to mute his mic to look at you increduously, mouth wide open. You say in a breathy voice, “Need you so bad, Haechan, wanna feel you…”
He whispers as if Mark could still hear him, “B-but, I’m still playing my game… and Mark could hear you…”
You can feel his cock twitch against your thigh, “You can be quiet, can't you? I won’t move, just wanna feel you in me.”
His round eyes look into yours as his hands rub against your thighs. He looks like he wants to kiss you, but he’s interrupted by a shout from Mark asking where he’s at. He quickly agrees to your words, pressing a quick kiss on your lips before unmuting his mic, asking Mark to once again mind his business.
You start your ministrations on him, rubbing the tent in his shorts, feeling how his cock grows under your touch. He bites his lips, trying to concentrate on his game, but getting distracted by your touch. He can feel how wet you are on his thigh, mind almost falling apart from how much you’re enjoying this. He shifts his hips once he’s hard, begging you to pull down his shorts.
He lifts his hips, helping you pull them down and seeing how he was wearing no boxers under his shorts. You eye his face, watching the pretty blush form on his face at your realization. You push one side of his headphones off of his ear as you whisper, “Gonna put it in now.”
His eyes move away from his screen as you pull your panties aside, teasing his tip along your slit before putting it at your entrance. You watch as he mouths out a please, his eyes fluttering shut as you slide yourself down his cock. You can feel how his thighs shake under yours as you sit down on him, holding himself back from bucking up into your heat. He can feel how warm and wet your walls are, your slick dripping down his cock.
He’s twitching heavily inside of you, and you have to hold back a laugh from how hard he’s trying right now. He has to stop whimpers from falling out of his mouth even if you’re not doing anything. You swirl your hips a bit, causing Haechan to let out a small whine as he ruts into you. You quickly mute his mic for him, hearing how Mark protests on the other end, “If you get some kills, I’ll start moving. If not, I’ll just sit here waiting for you. Is that alright, baby?”
He nods, lurching forward once more to kiss you messily. You laugh, motioning him to unmute his mic. You press your finger against your lips, reminding him one last time to be quiet. A shaky hand reaches to his mic, quickly answering Mark’s concerns, “It-it was nothing, I just hit my elbow on the desk.”
Another game starts, signaled by Haechan’s fingers against his keyboard. You continue your kisses on his neck, your tongue licking up his neck to his jaw. You can feel him shudder as his cock twitches inside of you. He tries to buck up into you, but you press down on his hips with your hands, stopping his movements. His eyes find yours, practically begging you to do something. You just smile, reminding him about the promise you made with him.
He bites his lip once more as he focuses on his screen, hearing the clicking of his keys. There are jumbled sounds coming from Mark’s end, apparently telling Haechan to hurry up. You can tell Haechan gets frustrated with him as he properly moves up, focusing on his screen to stop Mark from saying anything else. When you hear a ding from his headphones, saying how he’s gotten a kill, you begin to grind down on his cock.
He lets out the smallest whimper, hips pushing into yours as he shuts his eyes, trying to fend off any sounds that might come out of him. He can feel how deep he is inside of you with how slow you’re grinding against him. His hands are shaking, fingers messily moving against his keys. As soon as he starts getting more worked up, you begin to stop, laying forward against his chest.
He wants to start begging for you to move, but with Mark on the other side, he’s scared he might hear him. So he sits there, focusing on his game, trying to get another kill.
“Thought you were good at this game, baby. Making me sit here and wait for you to win,” you say, getting impatient with him. He shakes his head no, and you roll your eyes, “You still have to talk, Haechan. Poor Mark is waiting for you, too.”
Haechan hates how you bring up Mark while he’s literally inside of you. He shifts his weight around, lightly moving you against him. He can feel you clench around him, using every muscle in his body trying not to moan out into his mic. He wonders if that’s what you really want to do, and as he takes a quick glance at you, he sees the small smirk drawn out on your face. He lets out a shaky breath, excitement taking over thinking about what you might do.
After a few more minutes, he can tell how impatient you’re getting. It’s not his fault for missing so many shots, not when you’re tightly wrapped around his aching cock. You press kisses along his skin as your hands trail underneath his shirt, lightly scratching along abdomen. He can feel how you subtly move on top of him, trying to get off along with him.
“Thought you said you were good at video games,” you say a little louder, “if you were, I wouldn’t have to sit here to wait for you.”
Before he can respond, he’s cut off by you placing a hand on his chest, allowing you to sit up. You slide off of his cock, pressing a quick peck on his lips before slamming your hips down onto him. He lets out a loud whimper, hands leaving his keyboard in order to hold onto your sides. You look at his face scrunched up in pleasure, completely overwhelmed by how you’re fucking him.
“Can you tell mommy how good she’s making you feel?”
His eyes look into yours, bleary from the tears that threaten to fall from his eyes. He’s embarrassed and clearly aware of Mark being on the other side. Your hands make their way to his nipples, pinching them harshly, “If you don’t tell me, I’ll leave you here, make you cum by yourself with Mark still on call.”
At the thought, Haechan moans loudly, his words piercing through the air, “Fuck, mommy- making me feel so good! Need you to fuck- want you to- want you keep riding me!”
You can hear a loud, confused sound coming from Haechan’s headphones, but no sign of Mark leaving the call. At Haechan’s words, you put all your energy into riding him. He no longer cares about how loud he’s being, mixtures of whimpers and whines of your name along with the slapping of skin against skin fill the room. 
“Sitting so nicely for me, letting me use you like you’re a toy. You like that, don’t you?” You emphasize your words with a quick tug of his hair, his hips bucking up into yours from the pain. As you try to move your hand away from his hair, he moves to keep your hand there, his round eyes asking you for more. How could you deny him?
“Use me as much as you want. Wanna be mommy’s toy forever!”
Drool slips past his lips, whispering out a messy boy as your thumb goes to the corner of his mouth to clean him up. You move your thumb over his lips, pushing past them and into his mouth. His tongue circles around, his moans muffled around you. You see how his eyes practically beg for more and more despite being consumed by pleasure. You can hear how there’s another game starting behind you, clearly hearing Mark still on call.
“Only I can have you like this, right? No one can fuck me better than my pretty boy.”
He nods, sucking your thumb as he begins to move his hips in rhythm to yours. Tears are welling up in his eyes again, your words affirming every thought in his mind. You know how much he likes to be praised, how much he likes being told that he’s doing a good job. You coo at him as tears begin to spill, your cunt clenching around him tightly to where his hips stutter against yours.
“You’re the only one that gets to see me like this. Isn’t that right, Mark?” Haechan removes himself from your thumb in order to moan out at your words, and you can hear how Mark disconnects from the game and from the call.
“Finally,” you moan out, rolling your hips faster onto Haechan, “he was taking too long to get off the call. Probably wanted to see how good I take care of my sweet boy, hm?”
“Yes! You take care of me so good, can’t believe I’m yours. Wanna show everyone that you’re mine!” He’s thrusting into you quickly, his tip hitting your sweet spot. You can feel how his body is shaking under yours, overwhelmed by you taking everything from him. 
“Now Mark knows that you belong to me, that I don’t want anyone but you,” you say as you lick up his throat. His hips are stuttering against yours, close to cumming inside of you. You take his hand to your clit, trying to get him to get you off. In a whiny voice close to his, you ask, “Wanna cum with you, won’t you let me cum with my pretty boy?”
He can feel himself fall apart under you, the sight of you on top of him, using him for your own pleasure takes over his mind. He’s not sure what you just said, mind only thinking about you. He nods dumbly, fingers moving sloppily against your clit. He thrusts into you, trying to help you cum before him. He can hear your sharp whine as your face buries itself into his shoulder, and feels how your walls clench tightly around him as you cum.
He lightly thrusts up into you, his cum shooting into you as he whimpers and cries out to you. He’s not sure by how loud he’s being, but by how you move to kiss him, he’s sure that he’s being louder than you. Your tongues messily press against each other as you ride yourselves through your orgasms, feeling how he twitches inside of you. You pull off of him, a small whimper from sensitivity slipping out of Haechan.
“You did so good for me… just wanted to show my baby how much I wanted him…”
His tired eyes are filled with love when he looks at you, “Couldn’t have asked for anything more, love how you treat me. I just… I love you.”
You shyly laugh as you move to kiss him, letting all the love you have for him speak for itself. He holds you by your sides, smiling into the kiss as you giggle against him. There’s nowhere more you’d rather be than right here, enjoying your boyfriend and everything he has to offer you.
It’s not until you’re interrupted by Haechan’s phone ringing, making you both groan out. He begrudgingly picks it up, immediately smiling and showing you his phone.
[markly] 11:48, you guys are FREAKS
[markly] 11:48, YOU KNOW I WAS JOKING RIGHT… ABOUT EVERYTHING I SAID…
[markly] 11:48, KEEP ME OUT OF YOUR BUSINESS PLEASEEE 🙏 (or dont)
You smile as you read Mark’s texts off of Haechan’s phone. Your boyfriend laughs into your neck as he puts his phone down, wrapping both arms around you. You don’t think you’d want this any other way.
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a/n: GOD. this was so long for no reason but im glad its out... i always wondered how people could write more than 10k but now I Get It. THANK YOU FOR READING!!!
taglist: @mwahaechz @froggyforyoongi @hrts4doie @jenodreamer
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msmorningstaarr · 2 months
Text
let me be yours | part II
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ao3 | masterlist | < part I |
Pairing: Rhaenyra Targaryen x f!Martell Reader
Word count: 6.6k
Summary: You, a Martell princess who was recently brought into Rhaenyra's courtyard as a sign of goodwill to ensure the unification of the Seven Kingdoms. With time passing on, you feel trapped under the enticing aura of the Dragon Queen and sees yourself desiring her more and more. However, in a delicate situation, is it worth the yearn for your Queen? Would you give in to your needs to have your way with her and find some indulgence?
Warnings: SMUT (18+ MINORS DNI), afab reader, bisexual rhaenyra, canon divergence, longing, age gap (you early 20s rhae mid 30s), fingering, masturbation, oral sex, sub/dom dynamics (rhae dom you sub), overstimulation, scissoring, queen rhaenyra targaryen, nipple play, possessive rhaenyra
a/n: well, it’s been a long time since I don’t post a fic here and I was considering seriously ending my blog (i still do low key and end totally my last social media but let’s ignore that) but I have fun here and I love sharing my stories with you guys. thanks for reading! I hope you all enjoy it <3 comments, reblogs, likes are very much appreciated.
Taglist: @princessanglophile @hiroikegawa @hiraethrhapsody @pet1t3
The next day, Rhaenyra summoned you to visit her again, and you brought your cloak to show her the sewing and embroidery you had completed. Her praise for your work and dedication was effusive, each word like a sweet melody to your ears. As she examined the intricate stitches and delicate patterns, her hand would occasionally brush against yours, a gentle touch that sent a thrill of warmth through your entire being. These fleeting moments of physical contact spoke volumes, conveying an unspoken tenderness and connection between you.
Her gaze remained as intense as ever, locking onto yours with a depth that stirred both admiration and longing within you. There were times when she leaned in closely to speak, her words brushing against your ear with an intimacy that left you breathless. Occasionally, she would press a lingering kiss to your cheek or temple, the softness of her lips leaving an indelible impression.
Each gesture, each touch, each word of affection stirred a flurry of emotions within you. You found yourself wondering if Rhaenyra's actions were merely those of a caring future mother-in-law, or if they hinted at something deeper, something that mirrored your own feelings. The uncertainty added a bittersweet edge to your interactions, blending desire with apprehension as you navigated the delicate dance between duty and desire in her presence.
And each night, you would touch yourself thinking about Rhaenyra.
Finger twirling around your clit.
Daring to play with your entrance.
Mumbled words desperately calling for your Queen.
Fingers down on your cunt until you come undone on your fingers.
Wishing it was on hers.
But after almost a month of engaging in your own pleasure, it came ahead of you the unstoppable moment of your life: your wedding. You remember yourself being a little princess in Dorne, waiting and counting your days to know how long it would take until she would be wedded to someone and there you were, now dreading this moment.
You wished to fulfil your fantasy, you wished to have a way with Rhaenyra. How could you marry her son and still think of her, every night? Marriage is just a piece of paper, Rhaenyra well said, however, would you ever be willing to be the one who brings pleasure, true pleasure, into your life?
There you were, five days away from your wedding, knocking on Rhaenyra’s door to spend your time with her. This time, she asked you to come in your evening garments, a cream nightgown with long, tight sleeves. Your hair was loose and carried no jewellery on your body. The Queen opened up her door for you with a soft smile, signing you to go inside her bedchambers.
“Your Grace.” You courtied her, bending your knee. Rhaenyra raised her eyebrows, silently remembering you of her wish. “Sorry, Rhaenyra. I cannot help but treat you as you deserve.”
Rhaenyra held a smug smile after hearing you call her by her title. Her hands reached yours and entangled your fingers, greeting you in a more intimate manner. “Then as your Queen, I command you to call me by my name, little sun.” The Queen beamed at you, mischievously with her faint, playful smile. You laughed, although still a bit shy. “I apologise for summoning you in the night, my darling.” She began, walking throughout her room.
You followed her and one of her QueensGuard closed the door behind you and finally left the both of you alone. You were nervous, joining your hands on your back as you followed her, trying to disguise your anticipation around Her Grace. “I could not fall asleep and felt in need of your company. You lift my spirits.” The Queen said, sympathetically. Your eyes sparkled as she praised you, heart beating in anticipation and having a weird sense of validation, hence her sweet talk. “I hope I have not interrupted your sleep.”
As if you could ever go slumbering without touching yourself to the thought of Rhaenyra. You beamed briefly and shook your head, finding you a place to stay still, right after Your Grace. “You did not, as I myself have also been in some trouble finding my own sleep, Your Grace.”
Rhaenyra looked at you after a long sigh and her eyes seemed more relaxed when around you. She looked so beautiful in that blue nightgown, honouring her mother, a Lady of Arryn. Her hair was long and thick, she took great joy in braiding it before sleeping, but you would rather see it all loosen down, giving her a more human aspect to her godly, ethereal appearance.
Rhaenyra approached you, involving your hands on hers and grinning, which you grinned back before she led you towards a small table with a jar of wine with two goblets beside it. “We barely had time these days to share our daily moments. It is a shame.”
You started drinking by the same window Rhaenyra teased you, being bathed by the moonlight, Rhaenyra seemed even more stunning when in a more natural state. Rhaenyra drank her own wine but her eyes were locked on you, as it would always be. “I have been missing you, but with the current state of your wedding, we have both been quite busy lately.”
You nodded, positioning your cup on the window to lean your chest over it, watching from afar the lights of Flea Bottom. You didn’t know what to feel or think about it. You had so much time to spend with Jace and he seemed polite, but rather distant from you.
Maybe it was your fault, you should stay away from the Queen’s web, perhaps make more effort to be in acquaintance with your betrothed before the actual wedding. It was a rare thing, to live amongst your future husband, could give some default to the life ahead of you. However, you wasted it. “What troubles your sleep this evening, my sun?”
Your hands were sweaty again, your eyes lowered, looking to the immensity of darkness on the ground. Rhaenyra grabbed your face with her hands and smiled, as a sign of her affection. “I am nervous, Rhaenyra, I must admit.” You started, hesitant. “I have been thinking about what you told me in a former encounter of ours.”
Rhaenyra stared at you, intrigued. Her eyes narrowed, trying to recall their older gatherings. “You have?” Rhaenyra said with a hint of surprise in her eyes. The Queen looked at you with curiosity, trying to remember the words she said in the last moments they shared together. “Continue, dear.” Rhaenyra encouraged you with her gentle smile and her eyes still on yours.
“About marriages, duties and happiness…” You started, taking a smirk from Rhaenyra. Her fingers caressed your chin after squeezing it gently.
“Ah, those words, yes.” Rhaenyra chuckled, nodding her head. She gently cupped your face with her hands, her fingers caressing your cheeks. She took a step forward, standing very close to you.
“That was... very interesting of you to bring it up again.” The woman hummed, staring into your eyes.
You hummed yourself, feeling her lavender oil scent invade your nostrils and involuntarily, you bite your lower lips, feeling the heat grow ridiculously fast as Rhaenyra preyed on you, like a dragon seeking out its food. “And why does Your Grace find it interesting?”
Rhaenyra smiled down in amusement, watching your teeth sink into your lower lip. She traced her thumb over your lower lip, tugging slowly to free it from your teeth. She looked into your eyes, her pupils wide and full of lust.
“Because... I wonder if you remember the words I said that evening…” She said, almost whispering it to you and she leaned in closer.
Your mouth went dry instantly with the pace the gap between your bodies was closing. You remembered it more than well, but lacked the confidence to say it out loud. Not for not trusting in her, but mostly out of fret for what could happen now. She was too close to the pyre and the chances of being burned were immense. Either way, you said it. “A marriage is just a piece of paper.” You mumbled, breathing against her fair skin.
Rhaenyra chuckled lowly, her eyes slowly moving all over your face. She took the time to take in your expressions and your reactions to her body being so close to yours. She saw the way your throat moved slightly when you swallowed. The Queen took another step forward, feeling your chest against her own. She could feel your heart beating against your chest and she had no doubts that you could feel hers too. Rhaenyra could almost feel your breath against her lips as she let out a soft hum. “Correct.” She said, quietly.
“Once we are in a marriage, we can still have our… preferences. I learned it well with my late husband,” Rhaenyra traced her fingertips on your soft lips, attentively staring at it. “Bedding is not the biggest of your problems, my dear, but the lack or opportunity to be vulnerable. It can be the greatest of our strengths or weaknesses.”
Rhaenyra introduced your thumb within your mouth and instinctively, you suckled on it and closed your eyes as she spoke. Your warm tongue licked and pulled her thumb closer in a sultry move. Your cunt was soaked, dripping for Rhaenyra. “Open your eyes and look at me.” She softly commanded and you immediately complied. Your reaction encouraged her and her thumb gently moved under your bottom lip. The silver queen gently brushes it across the plump surface.
“How can something so flawless and beautiful exist in this world?” Rhaenyra muttered to herself. Her gaze never leaves your face. It was surreal, was it really happening to you? Your head was free of thoughts, only living in the present and wanting more of that enticing woman. “You see, you make me quite vulnerable to you. I wonder if you will make a strength or a weakness out of it.”
Then, Rhaenyra got closer. Now, the fabrics were much thinner than the other dresses both women wore. You could feel the swell of her breasts, her waist glued against yours, her breath close to you again. You startled, feeling her fingertips grazing on your skin, gently and superficially.
Once the Queen took off her finger and muttered her words, you opened her eyes and stared at Rhaenyra. “You think this highly of me, Your Grace?” You asked, muttering back.
“A woman as beautiful as you has no right to exist. Perfection itself. An artwork the Rhoynar Gods made to torture men.” Rhaenyra muttered back, as her fingers traced along your soft jaw and down the side of your neck, feeling your pulse. “And they have. A vision so perfect and lovely has tempted me like no other. A true flower of the desert." Rhaenyra whispered.
“Do I tempt you?” You asked again, whispering as well. Your figures were now pressed against each other. Rhaenyra moved her head up a little, her lips ghosting over yours, not yet kissing, but close enough to feel her breath on your skin as she spoke.
Rhaenyra chuckled and lifted her chin slightly, feeling your body shiver slightly against hers as you let her touch travel down on your nightgown.
The material was soft and thin, doing a terrible job to hide how much it was affecting you. The blonde hummed when she felt your body shuddering under her touch. The Queen let her hand slide behind your waist, enjoying the heat of your skin under her touch.
“You have no idea of the power you hold, my sweet girl. No idea of how weak I am for you.” Her words caused you to silently gasp in front of her, you gave in entirely to Rhaenyra, your dream was coming true and fear grew as arousal spread through your body.
“Why do I make a weak of you?” You asked your possible lover, granting yourself the benefit of the doubt as you played naive for the cold truth: she wanted you as much as you wanted her.
“Because I long for you.” Rhaenyra muttered, still running her thumb gently across your bottom lip. She couldn't help but stare down at the mouth of this sweet thing. Just the thought of her kissing you was enough to send you the edge. The temptation was too much to bear.
“I long for you too, my Queen.” You finally admitted, mumbling at Rhaenyra. Ever since you landed on King’s Landing to be warded by the Queen, you find herself daydreaming of kissing her lips and being her own little Queen.
“Is that so, sweet girl?” Rhaenyra’s voice was low and sultry, her eyebrow arched in a mixture of curiosity and desire. A soft smile played on her lips as her thumb gently traced the contours of your plump, soft lips. Each stroke sent a shiver of anticipation through you.
Every time she looked at your lips, a deep hunger ignited within her, a yearning to taste you and make you hers in every sense. Your gaze lingered, filled with a fierce determination to claim you as her own, to explore every inch of your being and etch her presence into your soul. The moment hung heavy with tension and unfulfilled desire, as if the world itself paused to witness the profound connection between you.
“I wish I could be yours." You reply, your eyes burning desire for Rhaenyra. You pay no mind for any liability; you care not that she is your Queen, the mother of your future husband, a woman. You wanted Rhaenyra.
“You can.” Rhaenyra muttered. She brought her other hand to your face, making sure to be completely focused on every part of you, taking in everything about you. Every part of her was perfect. As her thumbs trace over the soft flesh of your face, her eyes flicker down to your parted lips and she cannot help but gaze down to them, feeling the need to feel them on hers. “Just say the word.”
You touched the hand of Rhaenyra that was resting on your face and bit your lips again while listening to Her Grace. Submissively, you replied. “Let me be yours, Your Grace.” You mumbled, in a disguised begging for Rhaenyra to claim you, to have her way with you.
The eyes of Rhaenyra brightened and she was in total bliss. Hearing your sweet words in that pretty mouth, in that sensual tone, was like music to her ears. Rhaenyra leaned in close while both her hands gently held your face. Her nose gently brushed your own and she looked deep into your eyes.
“You are mine. My sweet girl.” Rhaenyra whispered as her tongue gently traced over your lip. She was close. You moaned lightly and she hummed with your reaction.
“I’m yours, Your Grace,” You whispered back, with a trembling voice and a mixture of reverence and longing. The words hung in the air, laden with the weight of her surrender. Impulsively, you pulled Rhaenyra closer, her fingers grasping the fabric of her gown with a desperate need to feel her warmth.
Yet, despite the burning desire coursing through her veins, you hesitated, her breath hitching as she stopped just short of initiating the kiss. Your faces were mere inches apart, close enough to feel each other’s breath mingling in the charged air. She gazed into Rhaenyra’s eyes, finding herself lost in the depths of those piercing, commanding orbs.
Feeling you pull her closer, Rhaenyra had to act. She closed the remaining distance as she pressed her mouth against yours, kissing you. Her lips moved slowly against your own, enjoying the feeling of you beneath her, knowing you were hers. Her thumbs gently stroke the flesh of your cheeks as she begins to explore your mouth.
Her kiss was ethereal as her beauty. You explored the inside of her mouth with her tongues in an enticing dance, moaning between the kiss as her hand possessively wandered through your hair. Rhaenyra hummed again against your mouth, delighting herself with her reactions. Her arm possessively brought you even closer, as if it was possible and another hand of hers grabbed you by the neck, deepening the kiss.
Gently, the silver Queen pushed you against the cold wall of her chambers, causing an electrifying thermal shock on your body. Her fingertips traced through your jawline and she tightened her grip, feeling her smooth flesh, rubbing against yours and the feeling was beyond incredible. Rhaenyra parted her lips for a brief time, staring at you with eyes full of hunger.
“Do you want me, sweet girl?” Rhaenyra whispered, with a husky voice as her eyes darkened, burning with desire and need for you. She watched you closely, waiting for an answer from you, holding you on a firm grip. You nodded at her question, taciturnly responding at her.
“Say it.” The royal commanded again, filling the air with tension enough to explode the room. Her eyes were locked on yours, breathing heavily towards your lips, you were drowned in pleasure, your voice was about to falter, right in front of your queen.
“I want you, My Queen.” You whispered. Her lips curled into a devilish smirk, with one of her hands letting go of your waist to cup your cheek, brushing your olive skin in very gentle circles. Rhaenyra joined your noses and rubbed each other, teasing you. Your desire went over the edge. It was overwhelmingly good being claimed by Your Grace, you would make sure this night was perfect. Rhaenyra's tongue explored every inch of your mouth. Feeling the warmth inside and tasting you on her tongue.
“Are you mine, sweet girl?" She asked, moving from your mouth down to your jaw, sucking and leaving marks on your soft flesh. Her moves were quick and furtive, as a dragon should be. Her face roamed yours, examining your expressions with cunning and desire.
“I am yours, Your Grace,” you whispered, with a voice having a delicate blend of devotion and anticipation. A soft hum of pleasure escaped your lips as you felt the tender nibbling and gentle suckling on your skin, each touch sending delightful shivers through her body. The sensations were exquisite, drawing you deeper into a state of blissful surrender.
“You are mine.” Rhaenyra replied against your skin. You tilted your head back, moaning lightly as the Queen suckled on the skin of your neck, sending shivers down your spine nipples to instantly turn visible through your nightgown. Her hand travelled south, squeezing your waist and hips and soon after, your thigh. “Mine, mine, mine…” She continued, repeating the word like a prayer, still close to your neck.
Swiftly, she flipped your body and pressed the front of it against the cold wall, pulling your hair to the side and kissing your back as a contrast to her rough and sudden gesture. You purred with pleasure as Rhaenyra had her hands reaching the laces of your nightly garments and you moaned lightly, feeling her kisses on your neck. Your hands, delicately, pulled her head against your neck, beseeching for more action on her side.
“I am all yours,” You replied, faintly moaning with the motion of your dress falling onto the floor. “Yours, yours, yours…”
Rhaenyra mischievously smiled, out of satisfaction hearing your voice so submissive to her. Her soft hands wandered up and down on your bare back, admiring your naked body. Your neck was invaded with kisses, bites and suckles, mixing pain and lust at the same time and your moans were becoming desperate for her.
"I want to worship you, sweet girl. Will you let me?" Rhaenyra asked in a sultry whisper, her hands finding the lace of her own dress and revealing her pale skin. You agreed in silence, feeling her nipples brushing against your back. "Perfect." She muttered, her voice barely a mutter. One of her hands moved up to your breast, gently caressing it with her thumb.
And then, Your Grace flipped your body back to face your front. A brief silence rose amongst you two, her body screamed the yearn to devour you completely. Rhaenyra pinched your left nipple and you moaned in a low tone. "Gorgeous." Rhaenyra murmured as her mouth took in your pert nipple, her tongue flicking over it softly and your hands almost immediately reached her hair again, not allowing Rhaenyra to let go of your chest. Her tongue circled one nipple and alternated with suckling, kisses and bites on your nipple.
No one has ever seen you naked before. Yet, being all exposed for Rhaenyra for the first time was no hardship. You felt close to explode once her lips reached your breast and a soft cry came from your mouth. Rhaenyra hummed against your flesh, continuing to give your breast the attention it desired.
One of her hands lowered over your cunt as her lips suckled and licked your chest. Her other hand moved down across your torso before gently placing it between your legs and gently stroking a digit across your core, making you melt into her arms, exploding with her skilful manoeuvring.
Rhaenyra gently removed her mouth from your breast and looked up into your eyes. Her thumb continued to circle your core, picking up the pace as she watched you. "Does it feel good, sweet girl? Do you enjoy this?" The Queen muttered with a teasing smirk as she watched your hips bounce for her. You looked right into Rhaenyra’s eyes, moaning silently and crying out in pleasure against that wall, only nodding in response to her question.
Rhaenyra leaned in and kissed you once more as her thumb pressed down gently on your sensitive clit, delighting herself with your moans. "Say it." Rhaenyra whispered, repeating her command and wanting to hear you say out loud how much you like this.
“I-It feels so good… Y-your Grace…” You stammered, with your voice trembling with pleasure. You leaned in and pressed her lips to Rhaenyra’s, kissing deeply and fervently, as the Queen’s hands continued to explore her body with master, tender touches. Each caress heightened your senses, mumbling soft moans from her lips and making her pulse race with a mixture of excitement and desire.
The Queen vibrated in response and pressed down more on your sensitive apex, slowly increasing the pressure, watching closely for your reaction.
As she did this, her other hand moved up to wrap around your neck, gently squeezing you. You moaned, gazing directly into her eyes. "That's it, sweet girl. Let it all out." Rhaenyra whispered, her voice now husky and needy.
Not all times you touched yourself you could be as good as Rhaenyra was touching you. She knew how and where exactly to do it on you and it built an imminent desperation for release within your body. Your hands reached her shoulders, squeezing it as she grew closer to come on her fingers.
As your whines and moans grew, Rhaenyra knew you were close. Her thumb kept circling and pressing on your sweet spot, listening to the soft noises coming from your mouth. The sight of her in front of you was perfection. Rhaenyra squeezed your neck gently and whispered to you. "Come for me, my sweet. I want to see you fall to pieces in my hands... just for me."
With her soft command, you felt your legs faltering and a single tear of joy leaving your right eye, with a moan so similar to a whine leaving your mouth while your climax hit you, exploding just as the fourteen fires of the Valyria of Old. You buried your head on the crook of Your Grace’s neck, irregularly breathing and trembling your body.
Rhaenyra slowed her movements, taking her time to pull you through your orgasm. With each gentle rock of her thumb across your sensitive jewel, she kissed and licked up your neck. The sound of your moans and whines filled her ears and sent shivers down her spine. Feeling your body tremble against her sent a tingle between her thighs. "That's it, sweet girl. You've been so good, so perfect for me." The Queen muttered in praise as her arm wrapped around your waist.
You smiled, still in ecstasy from the aftershocks of that alluring moment you had shared with the Queen and kissed her lips gently while your body recovered. After the brief kiss, they stared at each other in silence and you proceeded to suckle on the finger that touched you, wiping all of your own wetness with her lips from Rhaenyra’s hand, who let go a groan as she watched you taste her on your fingers.
She could feel a heat beginning to burn deep within her core. You needed her. She brought her hands to your face and cupped your cheeks, kissing you deeply as she backed you towards the bed. The Dragon Queen pushed you down onto the soft silk sheets and hovered over top of you.
"I need you." She whispered against your mouth, her voice hoarse and desperate.
You felt the impact of falling onto the bed and kept kissing Rhaenyra and feeling the Queen alternating between her lips and neck. You spread her legs to accommodate Rhaenyra on top of you while Your Grace’s lips tasted your skin roughly and desperately.
“Then take me, Your Grace.” You whispered back, muttering ‘please’ onto her ear, which drove Rhaenyra to complete madness over you.
Rhaenyra lowered her body down, grinding her thigh against your wet core. You moaned a bit louder to the pressure and the sensation. She wanted to tease you, but you could not hold back anymore. "I am going to make you squirm, sweet girl." She muttered as her hand moved down your body, caressing your breast before her knee gently found your cunt. Rhae was gentle at first, pressing down gently as she rocked her knee against you. You, on the other hand, complied immediately to her promise, squirming and allowing your body to spasm under her touch. Instinctively, you grabbed her arse to keep Rhaenyra close.
Rhaenyra moaned as her body trembled, feeling your hands grab her arse and rock her. She leaned in close, biting down on your neck as she pressed her knee against you. "Feels so good, sweet...girl." She muttered as she continued to rub gently, her free hand gripping into your waist, as her own moans began to fill the room.
“Please, my Queen… more…” You pleaded as Rhaenyra kept rocking her knee against your sensitive centre, leaving moans from both mouths. You left one hand to the Queen’s hair, bringing her closer and the other hand kept squeezing Rhaenyra.
Your desperate moans made Rhaenyra go feral, her need and longing to hear more of your sweet sounds was overwhelming. "Say my name." She muttered, darkening her eyes and lowering your voice to a devilish tone, wanting to hear you utter her name on your lips.
You were torn, unsure if you should dare to call Rhaenyra by her name. It still seemed as a terrible lack of respect, yet the pleasure she derived from obeying her was overwhelming. As the sensations intensified, bringing you closer to the edge, you have decided to comply without question.
“My Queen,” you murmured breathlessly, opting to avoid using Rhaenyra’s name. The words felt both formal and intimate, a reflection of your submission and the profound connection you felt in that moment. Rhaenyra had her body trembling with anticipation, each touch and command driving her further into a state of astonishing surrender.
Rhaenyra listened intently as her thigh pressed and slowly paced against your intimacy, getting off your moans and whines. The queen smirked and kissed at your neck, gently sucking on the bare skin.
"No, my dornish sun.” She whispered in your ear, her voice sultry and seductive. “Say it... my name. I need to hear it from your sweet lips.”
“Rhae… Rhaenyra…” You moaned as Rhaenyra alternated between her fingers and knee on your intimacy. Your whines became more urgent as another orgasm began giving its early signs.
Upon hearing her name, Rhaenyra gently but firmly rolled her knee against your cunt, feeling your body tense slightly with your approach at climax. Wanting nothing more than to send you over the edge, Rhaenyra suddenly stopped and made you sigh heavily out of frustration for the denial of her release.
“Please, Rhae…” You pleaded, unable to finish her name, clenching your entrance around nothing and humping your cunt in the air.
"I want you to come on my lips." Rhaenyra groaned into your ear. Rhaenyra eagerly positioned her head between your legs, her mouth kissing along the inside of your sensitive thighs and making you arch your back, sobbing with the utter state of bliss. Rhaenyra moaned at the sight of your intimate spot, swollen, covered in slick and sensitive from the foreplay.
"So pretty for me, sweet girl." She whispered as her fingers gently parted your labia, exposing your jewel to her gaze. You moaned in anticipation by the simple act of having Rhaenyra kissing your inner thighs. Your lips were quick to be bitten.
Rhaenyra smirked at your moans, feeling her own desire building between her own legs. The sight of you squirming made her want you even more. She lowered her head gently, her tongue giving tentative licks to the sensitive skin on your thighs, biting softly into it. "And so responsive..." She murmured.
The more you moaned, the more desperate Rhaenyra was to hear more. She gently parted your lips further, exposing your sensitive intimacy. Slowly and gently, her thumb began to rub your sensitive bud, while her mouth returned to the skin above your cunt, suckling and biting at the flesh “Say my name, sweet girl." She whispered against your skin.
“R-rhaenyra…” You called her in a desperate moan. You pulled the Queen’s head closer to your damp core and her body arched back, feeling all the pleasure Rhaenyra had to offer to you.
Rhaenyra groaned at the sound of her name falling from your lips and leaned in closer as you pulled her head forward. Her tongue suddenly moved forward to brush across your sensitive bud, circling gently. “Does that feel good, sweet girl? Does the Queen make you feel good?” You moaned as the royal returned back to gentle licks and circling motions.
“So good, my Queen…” You replied, humping your intimacy against Rhaenyra’s face.
The queen groaned out at the feeling of you rubbing against her, your soft noises making her heart beat faster in her chest. Your moans were the sweetest sound to her, music to her ears. Her tongue continued to move, the circles slowly becoming more and more erratic with her movements, her tongue adding more pressure to the side of your bundle of nerves.
You had your legs shaking once more and desperation built within you, a single tear leaving your eyes and Rhaenyra sped up the pace as she worked her tongue on you.
The sight of you beneath her only edged her on further. Rhaenyra felt her own desires and needs building within, her own core growing desperate for the same kind of attention. However, she continued with making you feel good. She wanted to make you cry, wanted to make you come undone. Rhaenyra leaned a bit closer, her pace quickening as her tongue flicked back and forth against your sweet spot.
"Are you close, sweet girl?" Her voice vibrated against your cunt, alternating her voice between eating your cunt out.
“Yes, my Queen…” You replied, agonisingly feeling Rhaenyra down on you, having you as if you were her last meal. Your whines were consistent and urgent, the warmth of her mouth made you feel even closer to your peak.
Rhaenyra groaned against your clit, feeling your body grow tense and more desperate. You were so close to falling over the edge, she could tell. "Come for me, sweet girl. I want to hear you call out my name when you reach your peak." Rhaenyra whispered before returning her tongue to your bundle of nerves, the speed in her circles increasing and becoming more frequent.
“Rhaenyra-…” You were quick to comply and let go, feeling your body convulsing under the overwhelming presence of your Queen licking your cunt and once more, you climaxed and now on her tongue. Rhaenyra groaned as your body convulsed under her mouth, her tongue continuing its ministrations through your peak.
The queen, however, hovered over you once more and kissed your lips hungrily, her face all covered in your wetness. “I am not done with you.” Rhaenyra groaned at the feeling of your bodies pressed together, her fingers digging into your skin slightly as she kissed your lips, her teeth gently biting over your pulse point.
“Mine.” She murmured against your skin, her breath hot yet soft as she whispered into the crook of your neck. The possessive edge in her voice and the way her teeth gently gripped onto your skin sent tingles down her spine, her body shivering against yours.
“I’m yours, Rhaenyra.” You muttered back, feeling Rhaenyra’s hand cup one of her breasts and taking a moan out of your lips.
Rhaenyra roughly squeezed your breasts at the sound of your moan, your breath shuddering softly against your skin as she moved her hand over your body, her fingers trailing over your hips, feeling again the mix between soreness and lust.
“Only mine.” She whispered quietly into your ear, her breath hot and shaky as she placed her legs between yours and pressed against you. Rhaenyra groaned at the sound of your moan, her body shivering as it pressed against you and her leg grinded against your centre.
“You feel that, darling?” She whispered her husky and shaky voice in your ear as her fingers trailed down to your hip, her leg gently and slowly rubbing against you. Rhaenyra’s hips gently grinded against yours, her breath shaky as she continued to rub her leg over you, her fingers digging into your hip slightly as she slowly began to rub at a steady pace.
She let out a low groan, her own need for you evident. “You feel so perfect, my darling.”
“Please yourself with me, Your Grace…” You said between moans as Rhaenyra rubbed her leg against your intimacy. Your mind rummined about her cunt against yours and it drove you straight into madness. Your body could barely understand the variation of emotions going through at this moment since you were close to come for the third time by that moment. Even still, you knew you could handle her, you wanted anything she had to offer you.
Rhaenyra gasped softly, her moans getting louder as her leg continued to rub against you, her hips shaking against as she listened to your moans. “I want you.” She groaned as her leg moved against you at a growing pace. “Gods, I need you.”
You wanted more, you wanted her to feel as much as you were feeling and perhaps it could be a risky move, but you pulled her body closer and positioned Rhaenyra’s aching core against your own cunt, mimicking a scissoring motion. “Please yourself with me, Your Grace.” She repeated herself, both moaning to the feeling of their clits against each other.
Rhaenyra gasped at the feeling of your bodies pressed in this way, her breath catching in her throat. ”Gods.” The queen gagged, her eyes rolling back slightly as a low and heady moan escaped her. Her hands grasped for your hips and gripped them as she listened to your moans. “S-sweet g-girl…” She called out your name, rocking her cunt against yours.
You bounced your hips and created more friction against Rhaenyra’s intimacy, fingers digging into the flesh of her thighs, moaning in a perfect symphony.
Her whole body trembled as her hips rocked against yours, moans coming out of her mouth uncontrollably as she ground and rolled her hips into yours. Her breathing was shaky and uneven, her grasp on your hips tightening as she desperately tried to maintain her composure. Your moans and sighs of pleasure seemed to fuel her own, and she found herself moving faster against you, letting out a low, keening sound as she felt her climax building.
“I’m close…” You said, feeling that Rhaenyra was almost close as well. Both Queen and Princess moaned loudly as they rubbed their clits against each other and hips moved fast to increase their pleasure. You cried out, desperate for release.
Rhaenyra had her body shook, her breath coming out in sharp gasps and moans as she felt herself nearing her peak. She gasped and moaned loudly, her body arching into yours as they ground against each other, desperately chasing her release.
“Gods, I’m going to—“ The dragon queen gasped out, her whole body shuddering and shaking. Her fingers dug into your hips and held you tightly as her body twitched against yours.
Your body shaked violently through your climax as it hits the duo fastly. You moaned loudly on a desperate whine, trembling and rocking for the last time against Rhaenyra as the Queen peaked as well. Rhaenyra’s whole body arched as they both came together, moaning and shaking as waves of pleasure washed over her. She held onto you tightly, her breathing coming out in hot and shaky puffs as she rode her climax, riding it until her body fell, limp and trembling against you, completely spent.
As you finished, Rhaenyra gently kissed your cheek before pulling back and crawling closer to your face and body. Her own breathing was laboured and her body flush. "You're so beautiful when you fall apart, sweet girl." She whispered, leaning in to kiss your lips gently. You hugged Rhaenyra while you tried to recover from the intense orgasm. After it, you brushed her sweaty hair while Rhaenyra was still on top of you.
Rhaenyra laid against you, her body feeling heavy and limp as she slowly began to come down from her high, her breathing and heart rate slowly returning to normal. Her hair clung to her face from the beads of sweat, her lips pressed to the crook of your neck as she tried to catch her breath. ”Gods.” She whispered breathlessly.
You breathed heavily and tried to regulate along Rhaenyra and smiled, wiping the sweat from the Queen’s face. “That was intense, Your Grace…” You whispered back, breathless as well.
Rhaenyra let out a faint chuckle, lifting her face from your neck and looking down at you, a small smile on her lips as she gazed at you. “Very intense.” Rhaenyra agreed. Her fingers lifted and traced over your face, her eyes full of adoration and affection as she looked at you.
“I’ve never lost control like that.” She said quietly, her voice low and full of wonder. You smiled coyly at Rhaenyra and kissed her chin gently, still gazing at her.
Rhaenyra groaned softly as she felt your tender kiss. Her own hand clutched gently onto your shoulder, her nails slightly digging into your skin. "You'll ruin me, sweet girl." Rhaenyra whispered, caressing your hair as she stared at you in bed.
Now was your time to smirk at her face. You grabbed her chin and kissed it, enticing her imagination and internally trying to see if that really wasn’t a dream. You had her. Your wish was conceded. And it was good as the fantasy you indulge yourself in. “Good.” You then said, whispering in her ear and enduring your mischievous face. Rhaenyra giggled and pulled you closer, giving a peck to your lips. “You are mine now.”
And finally, you could admit with happiness. “I am yours.”
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kithtaehyung · 2 months
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bet wrong (3tan717) | myg
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drabble: bet wrong pairing: 3tan!yoongi x reader(f)  series: masterlist | three tangerines | 3tan717 | one  rating/genre: pg (18+) ; angst , fluff ; brother’s best friend au, implied age gap au summary: after seeing how comfortable yoongi is in his place with your brother and their friends, it’s hard for you to leave… but it’s also hard for you to stay. note: apologies for all the late postings! but kim yeji’s aura was so strong it made me write about her so here we are hahaha. it's not really edited cus i just wrote this up and posted so apologies for any mistakes! note 2: this is in a pocket universe in the three tangerines series, so if you haven’t read the series yet, these characters would make more sense if you did hehe. even though this is very heavily influenced by the olympics, i’m keeping it as easy to read as i can. you can imagine them watching any of the events happening lol warnings: 3tan yoongi as always, angst, olympics talk, yoongi fights back??, the Yearning is Strong, reader is a tease, shiv is back!, brother and jimin are dorks, but so is everyone else, yoongi on the phone, he's so down bad y'all i wanna cry :(( drop date: august 1st, 2024, 7:17pm est word count: 2.3k (just like the first drabble omg?)
“Hey, you made it!”
“Oh, shit, look who’s here!”
After a quick greeting to everyone in Yoongi’s living room, you slip off your shoes with a distracted, “I can’t stay long but, I’m here!”
Even though the handsome devil next to you shoots a look, it’s your brother that speaks up, “Wait, why?”
“I’m meeting my friends in a bit.” You hand a still-quiet Yoongi some snacks you brought for everyone, asking a question with a very obvious answer, “Where should I put these?”
He blinks before forcing out, “Over here.”
“K.”
Sounds of conversation and sports games spring about. Jimin’s clearly in some sort of squabble with your brother and Shiv is fanning the flames. There’s a couple guys you recognize but don’t really know talking on the opposite side of the coffee table, but they’re all watching the Olympics and giving their own comments. 
Hopefully it’s noisy enough to shroud your dizzying thoughts. Because Yoongi looks damn good in his casual fit and his hair speaks volumes. 
What you would give to run your fingers through those waves. Following him through his bustling apartment is already giving you the shivers, so what would a sudden touch feel like? A burst of fire?
“I’ll take those,” he instructs, taking the bags from you and pulling everything out with crinkles. When he sees a certain bag, his blinks make you giggle.
It’s a specific chip he likes, recently divulged during a long night of learning things about one another—like favorite foods, and how fast or slow he likes you riding. 
So of course you threw it in your basket before heading over. 
Commentators make conversation on the television as you shrug, “Don’t ask me, I dunno how those got in there.”
God, that smile always makes you melt. And he proceeds to turn you into mush as he shows gratitude under his breath,
“Thanks, doll.”
“Seriously, I think they just handed me those,” you joke, trying your best to not do any of the million and three things you want to. “Said I was cute or something.”
His laugh is immediate. But it’s shoved away by cheers and yells, and both of you pop out of the kitchen to see what happened on the tv.
Something big must have went down because even Yoongi reacts, scaring you with a delayed reaction,
“Holy shit, what happened? Sorry,” he immediately apologizes at your flinch, putting a daring but comforting hand on your lower back before making his way to the group.
Did he really just…
He is lucky your brother didn’t see from the other side of the couch. 
That was the boldest Yoongi’s ever been and he’s quite literally kissed you in your kitchen. 
“Yeji got silver.”
“What? Wait, run it back!”
“I thought she'd take it!"
Chill out. Relax, relax, relax. Everyone else is clearly entranced by whatever happened and no one is even looking at you. Relax.
But damn, that touch meant a lot more than an apology. 
Seems like the one vocally surprised at the replay wants to do a million and three things, too. 
On your emotional decrescendo, you scuttle back to grab a plastic cup. No use in trying to join them anyway. All you can do for now is get a drink in a kitchen you’re not supposed to know your way around.
Being in his place while your brother is too is quite the experience. 
However. 
This is absolutely the ideal situation you should be in. You would be the one showing up at Yoongi’s at the invitation of your brother, and it would be a small party where you blend right into the background with minimal interaction. 
But of course, the feelings of distance and guilt creep onto your feet, rooting you in place and forcing you to watch from afar. 
They’re all checking their phones and pointing at each other—accusingly? Excitedly?—before switching between different games on the tv and yelling at each other. 
And while you adore them for being such lovable geeks about this, your eyes cannot stop pinning Yoongi with longing. He’s so radiant doing the most normal things, and his eyes have that sparkle they get when he’s comfortable and at home. 
He’s perfect.
Your heart’s warm.
And the cup in your hand never touches your mouth.
After you take a seat at his dining table—yet another thing you should not know anything about—you cycle between watching them interact and scrolling on your apps. 
At first, you thought you were safe. Staying in the back and letting them have their own time together is good enough for you, especially since you were invited by your brother to stop by.
Really, you were just a courier for food they wanted. 
But it was on the way. And it’s a chance to see someone you’ve been missing.
So of course you faked reluctance to come.
The plan was to do exactly this. Hang back until you had to leave, maybe have a bite or two, and try hard not to yearn for Yoongi too long.
Failed step three.
But also now step one, because Shiv decides to twist around to yell, “Hey! Come join us!” 
“I’m good over here,” you reply, smiling when he gives you a look. 
“Suit yourself!” 
One of the guys you recognize but don’t really know gets off the couch to head into the kitchen, asking a question as he opens the fridge.
Wait, he’s asking you something? You?
You leave your chair so you can hear him better, and when he repeats his question you respond.
“Want a drink?”
“Oh, uhh. Sure.”
“Pick your poison. Yoongi doesn’t have much but it’s all strong.”
He’s pretty cute. But then again, all your brother’s friends seem to end up this way. “Water’s fine,” you say with a light smile. “I have to be somewhere else in a minute.”
“Leaving so soon?” He grabs a cup to fill with your choice before handing it over. Leaning against the same counter Yoongi has smushed you against many times, the man takes a sip of his beer. “You just got here.”
“I was told to bring food.”
“Ah, come on. You can stay a bit.”
Uh huh.
Bold choice to be flirting with the company present today.
But you know what to do. Swerve. “What even happened back there? You guys scared the shit outta me.”
From the creases of his eyes, your plan works. “Oh, Yeji? She was supposed to win gold.”
“Feel like she won anyway.”
You both snap your heads over to the kitchen threshold, and your stomach could win a floor routine with the amount of flips it completes. “How come?” You decide to ask, throwing both guys for a loop.
It’s Yoongi that responds first, “She’s trending from a video back in May.”
“Oh, shit, really?” 
“Fucking boss. But yeah, none of us got that one right,” his friend responds, which leaves you intrigued. 
“Got it right?”
“Mmhmm. We picked her for gold.” Glancing over at Yoongi now crossing between to get to his fridge, he claps his back. “Even this guy bet wrong and he’s usually right.”
“Bet with my heart,” your secret drones as he cracks open a bottle. 
“We all did, bro.”
Fucking hell, that move was hotter than it should’ve been.
But now you’re kinda invested in what they’re all doing, so you ask how the whole thing works.
Which leads you to sitting in the living room with everyone three whole minutes later.
“So all of these are events, and I pick what I think happens?”
“Yup!”
“Good luck.”
“Choose quick, the next games start soon.”
Everyone’s eyes are on your paper as you look at the options, with some laughs and comments as you circle your choices.
“Mm, I dunno about that one.”
“Hey, hey, no help.”
You glance at your brother and Yoongi before laughing, “I have no idea what I’m doing but this is fun.”
Their amusement is noticeable.
“If you get any of those right, I’ll be surprised,” your sibling teases, earning a laugh from Yoongi and a counterpoint from Jimin,
“Dark horse?”
“Nah, no chance.”
Park’s shoulders raise as he smirks. “It's all luck, you never know..”
Huffing, you pretend to have confidence for days, just happy that you get to be involved and not hang back like the initial plan. “Yeah, I have masterclass intuition, don’t you know?” 
Reactions pop and fizz around you.
“Oh, yeah?”
“Master class, huh..”
“We have a hustler here!”
Your eyes drift to Yoongi’s at Shiv's comment, and you both share a quick, mirth-filled, intimate stare.
This really is a lot more fun already. 
Your phone buzzing is the one thing that interrupts, and you immediately feel relieved and saddened by the fact that you have to go.
Finishing up, you hand your brother your picks before standing, heading to the door and saying that you have to leave. 
“Wait, already?”
“Tell them you’re busy!”
“I kinda want to,” you admit, feeling a little shy at all the eyes on you. “But we’re watching a movie and tickets are stupid expensive now.”
Yoongi’s already next to you as he waits to let you out. “You okay to drive?”
“Me? Oh, yeah, I just had water.”
“K.”
Why does he have to be so considerate right now? Now you just wanna stay here instead of sit through whatever movie your friends picked!
“Be careful,” your brother comments from the living room, and you wave goodbye.
“I will. Y’all have fun!”
“Okay!”
Facing Yoongi, you wanna do so many things. Hug him, hold him, kiss the shit out of him for his exuding presence in the kitchen earlier. 
“Thanks for the food.”
But you obviously can’t.
So you settle for giving him a smile. “Thanks for letting me come over,” you decide to say. “Have fun tonight.”
You get a small lift of his lips in return. “You, too.”
“Yeah.. I’ll try.”
Hearing sounds from outside as you walk to your car, you feel the loneliest imaginable. 
But alas.
It’s still not your place to stay.
Much, much later, you check your phone after the movie ends and you’re all walking out. While the girls are busy discussing the movie and Taehyung's checking his phone, you're greeted with two very surprising keystrokes.
Yoongi [9:30pm]: :( 
He texted that so long ago. Did something happen?
You [10:34pm]: you ok?
All of you talk for just a little longer. When you finally get into your car, you wave goodbye at everyone before looking at your device again, wondering what the heck warranted this rogue of a text.
Yoongi [10:40pm]: Yeah
Yoongi [10:40pm]: Just miss you
Well, fuck.
Heart clenching, your fingers skirt across the screen.
You [10:45pm]: i miss you too.. i didn’t wanna leave😭
Yoongi [10:45pm]: You did though😔
There are plenty of people in the lot. Many people walking past as you wait in your car. 
And all you can do is stare at your screen. 
Is… Is he drunk?
Yoongi [10:46pm]: So now you have to make it up to me :) 
That catches you so off-guard you scoff at your screen through a smile. 
You [10:46pm]: don’t be a loser!! 
Yoongi [10:46pm]: I’m your loser 
Cheeks hurting from your shy as hell grin, you bite your lip to keep your screams from alerting people in the nearby theatre. 
How dare this man be this bold when your brother is over there! 
If he’s gonna keep this shocking behavior up, who are you to not play into it? You fucking miss him and imagining being there and being yourselves—your true selves—makes your chest clench. 
You [10:46pm]: not today you weren’t :\
And now you have to make the drive to a house that no one's occupying.
This is so hard. So, so hard. 
But you have to keep going until that one day comes. If it ever does. The day you can do whatever you want with the man you’d fight the universe for? No one will know how to react, and frankly you don’t give a shit about that.
And then you wonder.
Does Yoongi feel the same?
Yoongi [10:48pm]: They're still here
Yoongi [10:48pm]: You down to come back?
Oh.
You are.
Yes, yes, yes you are.
Grateful eyes shut, forehead hitting your steering wheel and heart hurting but still burning lovingly.
There’s no fighting how desperately you want to see him. Especially after seeing him so happy earlier today. Of course you’re going to go. You’d cross mountains even if that meant you’d only get to see him from afar. 
Because—and this you know for sure—he would do the same. 
...But that doesn't mean you won't prank him just a little bit.
You [10:49pm]: don't bet on it w ur heart again💕
Buzzing with excitement, you start your car and pull out of the lot, calling your brother and letting him know you’re coming back.
“K! You gonna bring food again?”
Normally, you would say fuck no and hang up. But you’re so elated you get to go back, and imagining Yoongi's shock makes you laugh. “Yeah, yeah, what do y’all want?” 
“Wait, really? Hey! What do we want for dinner—”
“Wait!” You interject, something pinging into your mind and igniting your curiosity. “How are my picks doing?” 
There’s a scuffle on the line, and you can hear your brother complain, Jimin laugh, and a very, very familiar voice answer from your brother’s phone. 
Because Yoongi’s voice drones so beautifully through the speaker, and you can’t stop your cackling when he responds, 
“Turns out Jimin was right.” 
“Damn, I'm the best,” you boast, earning a loud laugh from him and welcoming the way your cheeks hurt with open arms. “Show me that video you were talking about when I get there?”
This is safe to say. It's all you really can say.
There's a little bit of silence before he answers how he can, too.
“Yeah, I will.” 
Mm. Maybe Yoongi does feel the same.
“Nice," you whisper. Lips curved up in hope, you keep your voice neutral, “See you soon!” 
Again, he responds how he's supposed to. And right after, you both hang up exactly as expected.
For now.
“See you soon.” 
fin. :)
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how did the second 717 drabble go! | join the discord hehe | three tangerines
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a/n: love you love you love you. that's really all i can say. but also, here's the video of kim yeji being an absolute badass in may and i cannot stop thinking about her GAHHHHHH and now the guy from turkey?? hello?? this year is so fun and interesting istg!!
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