#very very depressive

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

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no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

[hoshi9zoe]

way too depressive and tmi vent

idk where to even start with this. i'm incredibly fucking depressed right now. I'm 1.5 months into hrt which probably affects something... I feel like my life is complete garbage. I'm wasting away in my room without any prospect of me being happy. Especially concerning romance or sex life. My last "relationship" if you even wanna call it that was 8 years ago. A long distance relationship. My first ever "relationship". Long story short he still owes me money and we barely even talked while rooming at a con I spent a lot of money on to attend. My sex life is similarly non existent. Last time was about 5 years ago I think. I couldn't satisfy her and neither was I. But I didn't expect to be. There are so many sex and body positivity posts here on tumblr that just ring hollow to me. Sure you say sex should be fun and that it's not the goal to get the other one to cum. but if you're never satisfied you're inevitably gonna look for someone else who can satisfy you. And I can't ever imagine I'd be able to satisfy any partner i'd hypothetically would have. Not that anyone would ever be interested in me sexually in the first place. I mean, I've sent nudes, who hasn't, but I can't imagine their reaction to be anything but "oh that's what he looks like. ew, no thanks". I've been wondering if I could be on the aroace spectrum since I can't imagine myself rn having sex. But that's more because I don't feel I could satisfy a partner and wouldn't want to waste their time rather than me not wanting to. And it is so bad now that I feel like that when i'm watching/reading porn/hentai/whatever. And the same basically goes for relationships. I can't imagine anyone being actually interested in me or me being able to satisfy someone. And even if someone were ever interested then I'm really sorry but you can find so many better people. But on the other hand I crave affection. Every time I hear about a friend being happy with her girlfriend or anyone being happy with their partner I feel such a deep clawing envy. I don't want them to loose what they have, I just wish I had something like that too. It gets especially bad when there's a lesbian couple in a fanfiction or manga or anime. I wish I could have something like they have. But I know that that's never gonna happen. And every happy couple is now tainted by my feelings. Same as I'm never gonna be seen as a woman. I'll always be big fat and scary. People will always look at me and think "that's a dude". And it doesn't matter how many posts there are that you "love fat hairy women" or "big trans women" or "hairy trans women with small penises". I'm not saying you don't. But not me. Yeah... that's basically what I think whenever I see a body or sex positivity post. "But not me". Not gonna happen. Ever. And that's what's slowly rotting and breaking me apart inside.

And I don't want any empty platitudes from anyone reading this. I don't want any attempts at counseling. I don't want an lofty words and ideals that "it get's better" or "there will be someone". I don't want any cheering up. I know they're lies.

Just don't

[cyani07]

colored some sketches

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

The funny thing about the PJO cabin system is that everyone's always all 'oh the twelve' this and 'the twelve' that but that's absolutely not even remotely accurate. To start, right off the bat it's thirteen, not twelve, because they don't count Hades. But not really because before Percy, there were no big three kids, so we're down to ten active cabins already but it's actually eight because Artemis and Hera don't make demigods.

And of those eight, Mr. D is stuck at camp (thus not really making new demigods all that often) and his only two kids don't even sleep in a cabin, they sleep in the Big House with him.

So, pre-Percy, there are seven active cabins at Camp Half-Blood:

Glee club, the Jocks, the Nerds, the Geeks, the Farmers, the 'Sketchy Kids' and the Popular Kids.

Or, in other words, the Apollo, Ares, Athena, Hephaestus, Demeter, Hermes (and the unclaimed kids) and Aphrodite cabins.

What's cool is that you can already see the cabin dynamics in the show. For example, the Athena cabin allies with the Hermes cabin for the numbers. The Hermes kids plus all the unclaimed kids? It's the biggest cabin in the camp by far. It's a battle strategy. Luke and Annabeth's close relationship is just the cherry on top for Annabeth. It'll be really cool to see how the show develops the differences in the cabins during the series.

[konakoro]

Oh god, Alucard outlived his polycule

[the-rainbow-of-doom]

(This post was sponsored by a 1+ hour commute)

[xiewho]

no time to celebrate

[abyssruler]

no thoughts. just zhongli’s territorial instincts rising up after you return from fontaine stinking of another dragon’s scent. and neuvillette nuzzling his face in your neck to scent you every time you have to leave for liyue.

[vulcan-moon]

happy holidays from garfield and miku (:

[tanatola]

🥰 hhh

[stil-lindigo]

scorched earth.

a comic about a princess who died in a fire.

(this is a sequel to bite of winter, a comic about Snow and what became of her after her death.)

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creative notes:

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all my other comics

store

[cringefail-clown]

four kids and an ai play a game more at 10

[redrobin-detective]

I think one underrated tragedy of Ice King's scars is that he probably took away Simon's sense of levity.

Like in his very limited appearances before Simon is consumed by the crown we see he's kind of a silly dude. In his introduction video, he only put on the crown in order to playfully tease his fiancee. Plus watching him make light of the loneliness and general misery for a young girl in a broken world. He was a dedicated man, who was generous and loved with his whole heart and threw himself one hundred percent into everything he did. He was also a fun lil guy.

But after almost a millennia of being a mad man, the brunt of every joke, someone who only existed as a broken caricature of himself and couldn't be counted on to take anything seriously, I imagine he was done with it. Now he wants to focus back on his academic endeavors, on his role as a father figure in Marcy's life, on being a proper adult. Any attempts to be silly could easily remind everyone - including himself- of Ice King, something he's eager to avoid.

So his jokes and jibes and general lightheartedness turned to sarcasm and self deprecating comments.

[panthermouthh]

And I said, “Hello, Satan

I believe it’s time to go.”

[sensitiveheartless]

Part 4 of the "Dazai and Chuuya being competitive, mutually pining disasters" comics!

<- (Previous part) (Next part) ->

Most of this one is under the cut because it got LONG

[greentrickster]

Begging the Hazbin fandom to go read some wiki articles on garden of Eden-era biblical lore. Not because the Hazbin fandom's doing a bad job or uncreative or anything so much as because apparently some of the preexisting lore is absolutely buckwild.

Like, I gave the wikipedia entry on Adam a poke, just 'cause curious, not at all expecting a "Lol yeah, he and Eve both lived for almost a thousand years after getting kicked out of Eden, and for the first hundred and thirty they just fucked off to separate sections of the world because they were mad at each other and both had a lot of sex with demons before getting back together, having Cain and Abel, and then presumably getting to question whether they shouldn't have just stuck with the demon sex when their firstborn killed their second-born."

It just feels like there's apparently a lot of stuff the Hazbin fandom could have a lot of fun with, you know?