#voice of the people - voice of the dreams - voice of the tyrant lol

[jowdraws]

I spent a lot of time working out what Vetinari is. Vox Populi and Vox Phantasma - now those are easy. But what is Vetinari the voice of? The voice of the city? not really. He's just the voice of Vetinari, really.

[mystoriaaa]

FakeCreator!Reader

SAGAU but reader becomes the tyrant imposter who pretends to be the creator. Also has a game system in place because I'm a sucker for those lol

“How about we play a game?” 

“A game?”

“Yes. It'll be a fun, simple game. Just how you like it. It'll even involve that Genshin Impact game you're currently playing.” The person smiles, “I just need you to…”

—

You open your eyes to an unfamiliar ceiling. And suddenly every sense of yours sharpens.

You feel the mattress you're laying down on, it's too soft. You jolt upright at the thought you possibly got kidnapped, looking around the new environment.

It's…fancy. You look down at what you are wearing and… it certainly fits the place you’re in. It feels smooth, something a rich aristocrat person would wear in the past. But that's the thing, you are broke as hell and you certainly aren't that old.

So what is this? Is this some kind of new sick joke kidnappers do nowadays?

A ping from a hologram accompanied by a robotic voice reading it out appears right in front of your dumbfounded face, cutting you off your thoughts. 

[Welcome to the World of Teyvat, player!]

What?

[You are currently inhabiting the body of the so-called “Creator” of Teyvat but the body is actually a fake!] The hologram fakes a gasping sound.

What. 

[Now, you have no choice but to pretend to be the real Creator or else…] It pauses for dramatic effect to reveal horrifying news that you'll definitely not like.

[You’ll be executed! Oh no!]

“WHAT?!” You yell in shock, at the absolute absurdity of it all. Not knowing that it would alarm the people guarding outside the door.

“Your grace?! Are you okay?!” The door slams open, and that's when you know, you are fucked.

Your grace. You internally curse that title, the one commonly used for the Creator. Towards the imposter that was actually the real one or to the fake pretending to be one. Which you are supposedly the latter.

Two people entered the room, and you felt the sudden movement of the wind despite the closed room. But that's just your imagination, right? Is what you would like to believe but…

A familiar yet foreign appearance appeared. That– That shouldn't even be real. You dig your nails into your palm, hoping the pain will wake you up.

Yet you feel fully awake as Venti, a game character, goes to you. Looking all over your body for non-existent injuries while your mind breaks down, crumbling at the horrid realization. 

His brows furrowed, gently prying your hand open, “Your grace? Is something wrong?” He asked in a worried tone.

You look at him, you don't know what expression you have but Venti flinches and ask again, “What’s wrong, your grace?” 

You take away your hand that Venti was caressing, hugging yourself as you close your eyes to process what was happening. 

You’ve— you’ve just somehow isekai’d like in those shows you watch. And not just any normal isekai, but in the body of the fake Creator of those SAGAU fanfictions you read.

“Your grace, may I ask what happened?” A deep, smooth voice filled with concern but all it does is make your face pale.

Oh. You are absolutely doomed.

Warning bells ring in your head, the two’s voices blurring yet the words of the hologram echoes clearly. 

If they discover you're the imposter, you will die.

The world becomes distant as your chest tightens, everything feels real and not at the same time. You don't remember when you fainted, but all you wanted was for this to be a dream and wake up in your world again.

The last thing you see is the blue screen, with words that feel like it's mocking you.

[We hope you enjoy your experience and live to see another day!]

—

[Congratulations! You received a Memory Fragment from earning the achievement: <Trapped in another world?! The life of a Creator Imposter starts now!> Obtained from a successful transmigration.]

[Accessing Memory Fragment… Success!] 

[Memory Fragment playing now.]

“How dare you?! You dare to question me?!” Someone yells in anger. A voice so strangely familiar to you.

You try to remember whose voice it is, it almost comes to you but leaves when you come close to remembering. You know it's someone you know very well yet you can't put your finger on it. 

“P-Please, your grace… I did not mean to—” A different person’s voice, someone unfamiliar this time, begs desperately but was cut off by another angry yell.

“You dare to talk back to me?! Morax! Barbatos! What are you doing, you slow and incompetent acolytes! Bring death to this man right this instant!”

You flinch at the names spoken out, so so familiar but you just can't seem to remember. Your head hurts as you try to force yourself to recall what you forgot.

A clear, low voice void of emotions speaks, “We apologize for being late, your grace. We will do as you command.” 

A slap echoes loudly. 

Weird enough, you faintly felt the contact. As if you were the one that hit someone. But that can't be? You can't even see, let alone move…

“Useless. Useless, I say!” 

All of a sudden, your vision comes back to you slowly. Your senses are getting clearer and clearer.

Then, you feel your mouth speaking, your body moving even as you try to fight against it. You start to panic when you can't control your own body.

“It is an honor for you to be personally serving me. Yet you dare to treat me like this?” 

You try to scream, try to take back control of your body but all you do is point at someone kneeling before you.

“You seem to forget, you wretched Archon. But I am your—”

Suddenly, it comes back to you. Your mind momentarily freezes at you remembering everything. You somehow got put into the game you were playing and became someone you did not want to.

That's right, you are now the… 

“—Creator! The Creator of Teyvat! The ruler of this world! And you will respect me, worship me as I deserve.”

[Memory Fragment finished! Collect Memory Fragment to access more of the Imposter’s memories! It will surely help your survival. You can do it, player!]

—

You open your eyes. And once again, you see that unfamiliar ceiling. You close it one more time, just in case.

To your absolute dismay, it does not work.

You pinch yourself once, twice yet nothing happens, you stay in this dream-like place.

You sit upright with a headache from the imposter’s memories you received. Massaging your forehead as you try to calm down.

“Your grace?” Ugh, that cursed title. The proof of your annoying situation. “Does your head hurt? Would you like me to get you medicine?”

You look at the source of that voice and lo and behold, it's Zhongli from the hit game Genshin Impact. Sitting at the seat beside the bed.

If it was in any other situation, you would cry from joy meeting one of your characters. But now, you want to cry for a different reason.

“No. I am alright.” You say rather stiffly, you weren't sure how you should be speaking. Should you be screaming insults everywhere like the imposter you saw in the memory or something?

“I understand. I brought you lunch, would you like to eat?” Oh, the beautiful voice you love to hear whenever he was on screen. Yet it chills your spine, scared at what he might do when he finds the truth.

This would have been much, much better if this was all a dream. But noo, you stare at the hologram over Zhongli's face, this is unfortunately the reality. 

You sigh, “Give it to me.” Zhongli obliges. 

Well, at least the food is good. Even better than what you have in the previous world, you won't lie. Makes your remaining time alive better at least.

…You mentally slap yourself to stop these thoughts or else you might throw up.

After you finish eating, Zhongli takes the tray and says, “Dr. Baizhu said you fainted from feeling overwhelmed. Is there something troubling you?” 

You would feel bad at his worried tone if not for the fact you want to run away at the moment.

“It was nothing, you do not need to worry about it. I will be fine after resting.” You say with a fake calmness you did not feel, and hope it sounds like the real owner of this body despite the lack of yelling.

But then his eyes glint, piercing at you, looking like he just found the answer to his questions. And all you can think is that you already failed.

Standing from his seat, “I will be leaving then. Rest well, your grace.” Bringing the tray with him, the sound of the door closing made you slumped to the bed. 

That was so stressful…! Silently groaning to yourself, and looking at the annoying blue hologram box in front of you.

“You! Bring me back home right this instant!” You tried not to yell loudly, fearing that someone might hear you and come in. 

[Sorry to disappoint, player! But I cannot do that!]

“And why not?!” 

[Your original body has died, no medium can be used for you to access the previous world. Would you still like to proceed?]

A yes or no appears, and you ask in distraught. “I’m– I’m dead..?” 

[Yes. Returning would permanently make you disappear. Would you like to proceed?] The monotone voice irritates you to no end, it felt like it was mocking you.

“I— Why?” Your voice comes out quivering. You don't know what you are trying to ask, you just wanted answers.

[Please calm down, player! At the end of the day, this is all just a game.]

A game. 

A game. 

JUST A FUCKING GAME?!

You throw the nearest thing near you, the pillows passing through the holographic screen. “You brought me to this world and you say it is just a game?!”

Being quiet be damned. Fearing someone entering be double damned. You have to somehow make this screen pay for what they said.

You didn't want to be in this situation! This place where powerful people from fiction can hurt you in the most painful way possible before killing you. Even if you died and couldn't go back, you still wanted to return home because it's better than being here.

But this annoying blue box telling you it is just a game felt like it was trampling over all the fear and desperation you had. 

When you run out of pillows, you go for the glass of water at your bedside table and throw it. It shatters and the water gets everywhere on the floor. With nothing else to throw, you attempt to throw the big fluffy blankets too—

Venti enters the room and sees you trying to lift a clumsily folded blanket but it keeps falling off. You complain the third time it falls off again, “This stupid blanket!” 

Venti gets near you, holding you as you shake him off. “Your grace, what is the matter?” You keep thrashing around until you accidentally hit him. 

All of a sudden, your anxiety spikes and anger gone. You almost forgot that this is someone who could kill you, and you just hit him. You immediately try to apologize, “S-Sorry—” 

But you stop at Venti’s look of confusion and disbelief. What? Why is he... You rack your brain at the expression until you realize. 

The one you're right now is the imposter who's pretending to be the creator. The one who acted like a tyrant in that memory you received. You panic, you're already acting so out of character already.

You try to think of a way to fix it so they won't get suspicious until Venti brings your hand to his cheeks, smiling almost crazily, “It’s okay, your grace. This body is your creation, you have the right to do anything to me as you wish.” He lets go of your hand, but he waits. As if encouraging you to hit him.

Chills went down your spine, you remember how insane the behavior the playable characters have towards the Creator. It was all for fun when you read them, because it was fiction. But actually experiencing it yourself now scares you. 

Especially when you're just an imposter.

Swallowing the lump from your throat, you summon all the little courage you have left and say, “...Leave, Barbatos. I wish to be alone right now.” 

He looks at you, the same way Zhongli was looking earlier and you clench your clothes, trying to stop yourself from trembling.

“...Of course, your grace.” It feels like forever until he finally shuts the door, leaving you alone to yourself. But you are also left with a sense of foreboding.

You lay down on the messy bed, closing yourself off from the world. Comforting yourself that everything will be fine.

But a ping from that grating system comes, along with it emotionlessly reading a new notification that makes you fear for your life even more.

—

Venti closed the door behind him. He looked at the other archon standing guard at the door of the Creator’s room.

“Barbatos.”

“Morax.”

Silence echoed until the Geo Archon spoke.

“Did you notice it, bard?”

“Ehe~ Of course I did, why wouldn't a super devoted acolyte like me notice?”

The Anemo Archon replied lightheartedly, but his gaze intense as he stared at the taller god.

“Indeed. It would be quite shameful if us two, the last remaining of the original Seven, did not realize this.” 

The bard chuckled, “You’re right!” with a smile that doesn't reach his eyes. “Wanna say it at the same time then? 3…”

The Geo Archon sighed tiredly yet complied nonetheless. 

At the end of the count, the two’s expressions turned serious. 

And spoke of the truth that could change everything.

“The Creator has changed.”

—

[Warning! Warning! The playable characters are starting to suspect you!]

[sokokoko]

Hot take, 2nd pov is a great tool not just something to be diminished into, "ain't that how those cringey 12 year old girls write about their dreams of being sold to one direction or the bts mafia vampires??" (no hate)

I have written some things before in 2nd pov that I think are great and although i use the word "you", my second povs are often a supposed person, rather than the readers themselves.

(Mini rant: i love the idea of writing about a "supposed person". this is even how I refer to the narrators in my poems. Sometimes, they are not me but instead a person who holds the sentiments expressed because some aspects of the poetry are blanket statements that are too generalised or just something too dramatised for it to truly be me/the poems tell a story and none of the feelings expressed are mine but I can understand them. If that makes sense lol)

Let me explain my thought process.

3rd person omniscient is the farthest a reader can be from the characters. An all knowing perspective where you are less close to a specific character as you're able to experience everyone's thoughts.

3rd person close is sticking close to one character but you remain in 3rd person, using he, she, they, the character's name, etc. written like first person, as you are in their head, but the fact of it using 3rd person pronouns creates distance

1st person is being very close to the character. I know some people actually don't like it for this reason. The usage of I is immersive to the point where it feels like we're intruding on this person's mind. Like reading a diary. That's why some books that are first person are actually written like diaries.

Now, if we continue on to 2nd person, this is the furthest extreme of closeness one can get to the character. This can understandably be uncomfortable for some.

I have used 2nd person to act as a voice in the character's head. 2nd person can be discomforting, creepy, and I think that's great. The reader is so deep in the character's mind, it is as if they are the character but I like to use it with the idea that the character is their own being.

I'll be reblogging this with snippets of each of my examples.

A cherished example of me using 2nd pov is how I use it in A Tale Of Two Tyrants. The opening of ATOTT is my very favourite. In the MC's extreme moments of violence there is a shift in second person as he divorces himself from the accustomed action of violence.

For a creative writing thing a few years back, I wrote Winter Blues, where "you" trudged through the snow while a derisive 2nd pov narrator spoke to you, narrating your actions and chiding you for dillydallying as you pondered what colour to call the sky. Using words like "nonsense" and "pettifogging" to describe the break you take for your admiration of the sky

And I did an exercise where I rewrote a thing that was originally in 3rd into 2nd pov. The narrator was the collective of voices that canonically reside in the MC's head, speaking as an "us"

[to-the-stars8]

The Lamentation of the Apprentice

Summary: Before the plague, Vesuvia was vibrant. People smiled more and the city was always filled with music, despite the tyrant Count Lucio tearing away at every aspect of civilian life. It was also where Asra met MC, as awkward and embarrassing as their first encounter was, they formed a connection that not even spells could break. Unfortunately, when the plague starts to spread fast, Asra is determined to run while MC is determined to find the cause of the sudden curse that fell upon their home. With the hope for Vesuvia vanishing, the two make choices that neither of them would forget.

Pairings; Past-Female Apprentice x Asra A/N: Hi! Thanks for reading my first ever Tumblr fanfiction post, and please forgive any mistakes! I'm still learning lol. You can also find the story on AO3! Love ya!

Chapter 1

Night in Vesuvia was always beautiful, it was the best time to see the city come to life. I admired how the lights from the MarketPlace and the rest of the houses all seemed to create a labyrinth of shining orbs that continued to rise and rise. Especially the palace.

It seemed like a faraway dream right on top of that labyrinth, with its lights that glowed ever so elegantly and loud on quiet nights when parties would be held. When the palace had parties only then could I see the multitude of colored lights among them change or get brighter right from my bedroom window.

Despite the enchanting lights that made others feel welcomed and warm, I felt exposed. Like a spotlight was one. The first time I had visited, during my first year living in Vesuvia, the moment I had stepped through the gates nothing but dread filled me. My father told me it was my blessing to feel fate before experiencing it. I chose to ignore it after that.

It was nothing but a palace with pretty lights after all.

--

During a night out in Vesuvia, I returned home to see a magician working behind my shop. I had seen him many times before. The little white-haired magician who read tarot cards and told magnificent stories of his travels abroad. He had a booth right under my bedroom window, and every night I would peek out to see him. The booth was small, nothing but a handmade table with a pretty star-patterned fabric thrown over it. He would sit for many hours making customers smile and, in a few instances, frown with his readings. Those who had come into my shop would often speak highly of him. They did not know much other than a semblance of his name and that he was incredibly gifted with his magic when I inquired more of him. People liked him, therefore, from afar, I could admire his craftsmanship and his magic.

It had been a night of festivity for me. The Marketplace had been selling herbs from my homeland, and I, who had been missing home for quite some time, yearned to have a piece of it in my hands. As I walked home, I admired the little blue flower in the small bottle. Its' blue petals reminded me of summer with my father, when he would thread the flowers into my hair.

My eyes finally tore away from the memory, and I looked up at the stranger who did not seem at all unfamiliar. He was looking right at me as if he was waiting for me to notice him. When he noted that I was truly looking at him with all my attention he waved to me enthusiastically.

Truly, I didn't mean to follow his wordless command, but I wanted to be near him. Close up, he was beautiful. His hair was white curls that fell perfectly around his face and head, and his skin looked like it would feel like velvet. And his eyes--Gods, his eyes. They were a purple I had never seen before. They shined like stars in the candlelight and held me there as he spoke.

"Would you like me to read your cards?" His voice was smooth like silk. It was heaven to my ears.

I was so flustered that I could not find the words to say anything, instead, I opted to just nod my head. Really, I didn't want a reading, but only wanted to hear him talk more--to talk to me. He hummed in approval and started to shuffle the cards. The way he did it was fast and absentmindedly. No magician needed to think about what he was already good at.

"You should learn to shuffle better, MC. No one wants a sloppy fortune teller, it looks like bad business."

The words of my Aunt echoed in my head. This little magician was better than me at reading fortunes. Envy squeezed my heart, but, when he finally placed three cards down in front of me it vanished.

"Any particular questions you wish to know the answer to, get them out now." He said the command like he was reading a script.

"Will I fall in love?" I said quickly like I wished for no one to hear it. I didn't.

A smile crept along his face and I felt foolish. It was a childish question. Everyone must have asked him this once, if not more.

"I like it when people ask that, it keeps the feeling of love alive." He smiled down at the cards.

I yearned to hear more of his words. More of him. I was going to say something, ask him more of the statement, but he was already moving on to flipping the card over.

Justice, upright.

"You will be rewarded for your efforts."

The Magician, again, upright. I already knew the meaning, but I needed to hear him explain.

"You have made an opportunity for love," The magician paused and looked up at me through his eyelashes. "You've been yearning for it."

I almost scoffed. Never had I thought I yearned for love, though, there with him, maybe I could start. The answer was short and simple. He needed to think of it very little. Finally, he flipped over the last card and my heart leaped in my throat.

The lovers, upright. Three upright cards lead to positive outcomes. I felt like one of the many lucky customers he had. We regarded one another in silence for a moment, the magician knew what it meant and knew I knew as such. Licking his lips as he stared down at the cards, then, finally, drew his violet eyes back to me as he spoke softly.

"What's your name?"

"My name?"

He only grinned.

"MC," I glanced back down at the cards. His eyes were too intense for my young heart. "You?"

"Asra."

"Asra," I repeated.

The name felt warm-- Like a summer evening back home. The sunset would bathe the house in a warm light that gave relief from the hot day. His name felt like that dancing off my tongue. It was gorgeous and butterflies fluttered in my stomach at the sound of it. It was then I realized why so many customers spoke so highly of him.

"MC," I shivered at the way Asra said my name. He said it slowly, pronouncing each syllable. "Are you new to the city? I think I would remember your name."

"I hail from a land just south of the Sea of Persephia," I looked down at my hands which now held onto the little bottled flower tightly. "It is called Helene."

"Helene," Asra repeated. "It sounds magical."

I chuckled. "It is. It truly is. I miss it dearly."

"Vesuvia will bring great promises for you, MC. I know it. Just as I know whoever you fall in love with will be just as great."

A snort left me before a little string of laughter followed. Covering my mouth, I tried not to smile at him. "I'm sorry, that was very unbecoming of me."

Asra eyed me as he scooped up the three cards on the table. "If you think that is unbecoming then what do you think of me?"

He gestured to his clothes. They were worn and dirty, and made obvious he grew up on the streets. Still, it did not take away from his beauty.

I thinned my lips in thought, thinking playfully for too long. Asra had said something or other, but I hushed him to tell him I was thinking. Finally, the words spilled. "I think your eyes are pretty."

He must have expected something such as that by the smile on his face, though he did not say anything. It was only after a few moments of silence did I realize he was waiting for payment now, and I squabbled to grab the coins from my dress pocket. They jingled like bells as they bounced in my hands, and as I tried to put them into his hands they fell from me. The coins rang against the ground and we both kneeled to pick them up. Suddenly, I had become a blur of quick and awkward apologies. He only laughed. The sound was wondrous. It sounded like wind chimes in an ocean breeze.

"Forgive me," I said hurriedly.

Asra shook his head. "Think nothing of it. I have dealt with worse than pretty girls with slippery hands."

If I was smarter perhaps I could have met his quip with just as equal wit. When we rose Asra sent me off with a kind goodbye that seemed any stranger he met would get, and I took that as he saw me no more than another customer. I was disappointed.

We parted ways that evening, but still, I hovered over him in my window; watching. The evening was dead, but that did not stop him from performing little tricks for himself. He's testing his magic, I had thought. It impressed me more and his image grew brighter in my eyes.

He spent the last few hours entertaining himself and me, until, as he was juggling red balls with his magic, our eyes met. Asra was not phased, I, though, was horrified. I was not meant to be seen by him. Quickly, the curtain fell from my hands and I dove into my sheets in horror.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I tried to push off the embarrassment that sat hot in my chest. Gods! I had done it, I thought, I would never see the little magician again.

It almost felt certain.

[boba-cafe]

TW. Yandere TW. Forced marriage TW. Dark content

Had a random dream that just gave me Yandere vibes

Keep in mind this may not be accurate- I don’t have strong memory of dreams and I don’t do dreams often and these rlly unrealistic ones don’t always occur

Your having in a monistary that is far from the cities and the monistary itself has about 6 houses/ it’s just a large ass land with lots of buildings

Your in this monistary because of a Tết and you meet a few random people

However these this one individual that seems off

Their nice..well like you don’t rlly know because y’all don’t take but like you assume their nice bc that’s just how you (I’m) are but walking alway you always felt their presence behind your back almost like as they been watching you

Searching around the Monistary because your ass got lost and now your separated from your parents and friends you find secrets cabons and secret rooms and like while your looking around you see these photos of this person again.. but looking at these you turn around and the person is right behind you- close enough where you could feel their breath down on your neck

But like the way their staring at you isn’t even like in a scary way it’s like a ☺️ way and their just chuckling… and then they leave and your like ok??

But the more you turn back and read these writings in these rooms the more…weird and bad it gets??? Like this person legit is a tyrant not of a country but more of a district in your area like human who secretly has this monastery under their control like this monastery is their mini place..

Apparently the monastery is open to the public as only the monastery no one actually knows that there is this tyrant who runs your distract apparently and all the secrets are in the deeper parts of the monastery your in

But you go hahaha this has to be a joke in a Im in a denial way because now your scared and you wanna leave but your here because your family is here for the Tết well at least you found your family somehow but now the weird shit happens

Apparently everyone going to gather to the main house to celebrate with food and prayers right and look who’s there it’s that person

Their approaching you… and your like worried because 1. Tyrant and 2. You don’t wanna die and so you greet them like chào ehh anh? (Hello??) and you embarrassed yourself because they don’t speak the language and so you just say hey and their like chucking at you and they ask how are you enjoying yourself

Your like eh it’s good like I’m pretty good and their like great come with me and your like wha do I have to and their like dead with no tone in their voice say yes- so you go out of fear great and now your following them

While following someone approach you and this other person is like I know your playing along with them but we can get ride if them if you help me and your like wha- and their like I know this seems crazy but trust me on this

Well..you feel confused lol or doesn’t make sense but now you in this different area..it’s a large penthouse and very nice and pretty and as you make way to the main room the person is there and their staring at you and they wave you to come to them

Because this is my dream and y’all are basically me.. I didn’t come because my dumbass was too busy looking after walls and then you stare at them like really confused and then your shoved to them- you fell on your Áo dài lolol to the floor and the person immediately picks you up and checks you and are like Cinderella! Oh my Cinderella my little princess are you ok? Nothing not hurt right?

Your trying to get up but the person has you on their lap now because they were sitting apparently and you say nothing but you did see the other person walk into this room without them looking. The person your on their lap is telling you how it’s great to feel so close to you- the wedding would be amazing and they’ll be the best lover for you

Your confused because your 18 (I am lol) and your like hahaha wait wait waaaiitt I’m not ready and I haven’t gone to college, get a job I’m still living with my family I can’t cook- and the person is just giggling and their like that’s nothing their worried about- they know all that and they have it all planed out- you’ll be going to college if that’s your choice still but close to them and your not allow near most areas unless their with you- you’ll be staying in the shared bedroom they have for you two and be entertained problem solved

Your like how do you know that?? And their like I talk to your parents and your friends and heard a lot- I saw you when you walk in my monastery and couldn’t help myself I convinced your family to let me marry you in return I give you a comfortable life and take good care of you- your a cute little clumsy bunny baby aren’t ya- clumsy cute bunny I have and your like wow this is scary and I don’t want a wedding in your head

So you ask the dumb question what if I don’t want this marriage and their response was you don’t have a choice if you leave you deal with the consequence of your friends and family and lose the nice privileges they generously have given you with a very cold look like as if they were going to kill you

You said yes you’ll marry them because now your scared of what they can do and suddenly their in a good mood and their like a kiss for your new husband my dear? You kinda did but it’s like a sniff Kiss but because you were scared you gave a second one again

Them being very happy and walking you to the bedroom and suddenly The dream stop Lolol

So for context Tết is like a Vietnamese new year and  Áo dài is a traditional Vietnamese dress right and a sniff kiss is like some Vietnamese family where you sniff your loved ones on the cheek as like soft kisses in them

I also write this in a third POV when it was a normal first POV for me and ngl the person was some random dude but felt like Yandere enough thing Lolol

I think character that fit this is: Izana, Mikey, Ran, Rin, Wakasa, Hanma, Geto, Gojo?, Nanami? Maybe

[dreamsclock]

"Dream fights the Egg to redeem himself" Ok, but imagine if they all team up to fight Quackity and, once they defeat him, Dream approaches Quackity and everyone thinks it's for revenge. But Dream helps him stand up because, even though he hates him, he can't help but see himself in him.

i really enjoyed writing this !!!! writing c!dream + c!q are my favourite two to write (including c!tommy of course lol), so i had a lot of fun :] this is dark and i’m not entirely happy with the end, but this is still such a fun scenario — i liked playing around with this!!!! :D

warnings: death, near death, trauma, torture, ambiguous ending, general dark prison arc themes, injuries/wounds, reflections on dark themes

Quackity lies curled up in a ball, spitting blood and chest heaving with shallow breath. Dream wishes he could laugh at the irony of it, but his own chest is tight in recognition of the pain his enemy is in.

Because it is ironic. He’s the one with power now, he’s the one standing over Quackity with a weapon in hand, he’s the judge, the jury, the executioner - and he’s not going to lie to himself anymore, he’s not going to say that it doesn’t feel good, that there’s no relief in seeing Quackity’s blood pool on the floor for once instead of his, because that would be a lie.

Dream steps forwards, axe in hand, and Quackity doesn’t even move. His last canon life flutters weakly in balance, the universe tensing in expectation of another permanent death. Two down - one from Techno, another from Sapnap, of all people, only minutes ago - and Dream knows he could take it, remembers the way to swing an axe like it’s instinct, knows how it would feel to bring the axe crashing down on Quackity’s body and offer him up to the Void.

It’s what he deserves, Dream tells himself, before rescinding the thought. No. Nobody deserves that.

He crouches down next to Quackity, who stares back at him through half-lidded bleary eyes, still dazed from the life respawn, and offers his hand out.

There’s a sharp inhale from somewhere behind him, but Dream can’t quite bring himself to care. In his chest, his heart twists in an odd pattern, scrunches into a little ball and crumples with each shallow breath Quackity rasps out, in the same way it had when Quackity had been ranting only an hour before.

(”You took everything from me!” He’d snarled, backed into the corner with nobody left by his side, nothing to his name, Las Nevadas burning around him. “I had nothing, I had nobody, and even when I try to build myself something, someone comes along and takes that too!”

“No, Big Q, we didn’t do shit.” Tubbo’s voice doesn’t waver, and Dream, detached, disconnected from the scene in front of him, has to admire his courage, in a sad sort of way, because it’s testament to how many times he’s dealt with dictators and tyrants that he keeps his cool. “We didn’t take anything away from you. You aren’t yourself anymore. You aren’t- You aren’t one of the good guys.”

He pauses, swallows, netherite sword trained on Quackity, and Dream knows Tubbo is thinking about Tommy, sleeping fitfully and being cared for by Ponk after Quackity almost taking his life. And then he sees the sadness weighing Tubbo down, knows he’s thinking when did everything go so wrong for Quackity? 

“What’s happening now is because you went too far.” Tubbo’s sword gleams dully, and the clouds hang heavy in the sky. “And now you have to pay the price for it.”)

The price - the price of tyranny and cruelty and manipulation and villainy. The price of trauma and anger and hurt and bitter resentment. The price Dream remembers paying, a dozen times over, the price Quackity kept raising with every blow of his weapons every day until the price changed from retribution to simply because Quackity felt like it.

And he has to ask himself: when is the debt paid?

Because he’s been shattered in prison - fractured into a million pieces and left to put the pieces back together by himself, and he still doesn’t feel like he’s made up for his actions. He doesn’t even know where to begin with that. Had it been paid after his first or last torture session? The first time he’d screamed for Quackity to stop, or the first non-canon death he’d suffered? Had it been the starvation and the neglect and the feeling of losing his sanity as he’d sat in a cell, alone and hysterical and deteriorating fast? Why is more violence the debt paid for violence?

(”An eye for an eye and the world goes blind,” he’d told Sapnap once as children, “revenge never works out the way people want it to. It just makes things worse.”)

Dream knows it’s not, and yet everything in him screams to end Quackity’s life now. Even better, he wants to hurt Quackity - wants to hear him beg to die, wants to hear him sob and beg and plead - but the idea makes him nauseous. Worse, it makes him sad: he doesn’t think he’ll ever get over the all-encompassing rage prison has carved into him, doesn’t think he’ll ever learn to forgive the others for putting him in there, in the same way he knows they will never forgive him. And he thinks it’s this sadness, the sadness that comes with knowing he’ll never be fully healed from the damage done to him, that makes him consider Quackity so quietly, axe resting on his knees. In some twisted way, Quackity reminds him of who he used to be; in a lot of ways, reminds him of who he still is, ignoring the torture trauma and damage. Neither of them are good, but he doesn’t think anyone is - and as much as he despises Quackity with every bone in his body, he doesn’t think he’s evil. Shitty, absolutely, but not evil.

“Do it,” Quackity rasps out after a moment, voice weak, but feigning arrogance Dream can see through instantly, “do it, I dare you.”

Dream stares down at him. It would be so easy... He doesn’t think anyone would stop him, either. Doesn’t think they’d have the guts to pull him away, doesn’t think they’d protest him getting his revenge. They’d watch on, the same way they had for Tommy killing him, the same way they had for Schlatt dying, because it was revenge, at the end of the day, and, Dream knows bitterly, revenge is the only currency the SMP seemed to deal in nowadays. He could kill Quackity in front of them and they would let him.

So he takes Quackity’s hand instead, and places a golden apple into the palm of his enemy, guiding it to his mouth.

“Eat,” he says quietly, not looking at him, “you must be low. You look like hell.”

Quackity stares at him like he’s never seen him before. “...What?”

Dream drops his wrist, resists the urge to snap it like his own wrists had been so many times. “You heard me.” His voice stays even for the time being. “Eat. It’ll stop most of the bleeding.”

And he doesn’t move again until Quackity does, ignoring the uncertain shifting and questions from behind him. It’s only after the colour comes back to Quackity’s face, only after his breathing grows easier, that Dream makes his next decision - he takes Quackity’s hand again and pulls him laboriously upright, steadies his torturer when he sways and keeps him standing when his legs buckle. At the sight of Quackity, Karl lets out a ragged noise, and from the sudden movement, Dream can tell Sapnap is covering his face with his hands in grief. He’d feel bad for them if he hadn’t been so angry and tired. Instead, he forces himself to meet Quackity’s eyes, and tightens his grip on his arm.

“Don’t-” Finally, Dream’s voice cracks, wavers just a little. “Don’t ever come near me again. I never want to see you after this. Do you understand.”

It’s flat, not a question - Quackity’s head jerks in a nod and only then does Dream allow himself to return to his previous position (after ensuring Quackity can stand by himself): besides Technoblade, with Niki at his other side and Phil behind them for backup, and he feels safer than he has done in a long time. He turns to face the rest of the server, standing a little apart from the Syndicate, and feels the same anger he’d directed at Quackity burning in his chest, insatiable, licking up his heart. 

"That goes for all of you,” he says, forcing the words out, “I don’t want to see any of you again. I don’t want Quackity killed or imprisoned, because nobody deserves that.”

“He destroyed so much of the server,” someone in the crowd says, incredulously, “he tortured you-”

“And you let it happen.” Dream jerks his jaw closed, forces himself to take a few deep breaths. “You would have left me to rot in that prison if you hadn’t needed me to help take down Quackity. Don’t act like you give a damn.”

Because that’s the thing, isn’t it? They’re all guilty of some crime, some bigger, some smaller - where’s the line between deserving forgiveness and being thrown in a torture box? The justice system on the server is more broken than it ever has been, carried out and enforced by hypocrites and sinners, and Dream is sick of it, sick of revenge and violence and speaking a language that creates trauma and fear and further abuse. He wants the people that hurt him to suffer, but who the fuck is he to play God and take that into his own hands? Who is he to enforce suffering on other people who hurt him? He’s not God. He doesn’t want to be God anymore. 

He wants friends. He wants a night where he doesn’t wake up screaming in terror over memories from both in and out of prison. He wants to run in a flower field and have the wind rustle his hair and for his legs to hold him like they used to. He wants family, and he thinks the Syndicate is as close to one as he’s going to get.

(And he knows Quackity’s driving motive, his original driving motive: to belong to somewhere, to belong, and Dream empathises with that more than he likes to admit. Maybe that’s another reason he’s helping Quackity - he knows what it’s like, to be in that situation, and even if he hates him, he knows what’s going on in his head.)

(He knows, one day, Quackity will regret everything he’s done, and that will be more crushing than any suffering Dream could inflict on him.)

So he turns to Techno, who is giving him an indecipherable raised eyebrow that he tries not to read into as approval.

“Stay out of our way,” Phil tells the rest of the SMP, standing gobsmacked, “and we’ll stay out of yours.”

“Don’t kill Quackity,” Niki adds sharply. “Give him a second chance.” Her smile grows just a little twisted at the sight of Wilbur in the background, loitering with an amused expression, and she jerks her head towards him, rage cooling in her eyes. “You gave him one.”

And the Syndicate are giving Dream one. Techno loops his fingers around Dream’s wrist, pulling out an enderpearl, and ducking his head to speak to him.

“We’ve done enough here,” he says, “let’s get home, huh?”

Home. Dream lets the word run through his head. It’s not enough to bring him to smile - Quackity is still around, he’s exhausted, he has a feeling the SMP aren’t going to learn. But he feels safe, he feels confident enough that the Syndicate aren’t going to let anything happen to him, the same way he would protect them, and he’s done what he can for Quackity. He’s given him a second chance, told the others to do the same - whether they do or not is out of his hands now.

“Yeah,” he agrees, “let’s get home.”

And in a flicker of green, the four of them are gone, leaving the rest of the server to pick up the pieces.

taglist for writing (if you wanna be added I’d removed send an ask!): @pastelicious-nova @kynamite @chasingstarsandthemoonwith11 @cyanbutnotquite @purpleglitch @saltsasssnark @elenath-s-misc @carpedzem @ruby-whistler @prodigal-sunlight @runninshoos @dt-anon @ronywillcox

[levenxa]

ds-deranged.exe (subject // Dioxxi)

—

Character Name - Dioxxi (Dream)

Nicknames - Dioxxi, Lord Dream

Personality - He is very serious and stoic about mostly everything, and uses a long branch of vocabulary. Still petty here obviously. He had a strong dislike for criminals but since he was educated by Ani, he now tries to rehabilitate them first. Has trouble with socializing despite being the leader of JR, and being worshiped and ridiculed. He believes that anyone that is evil was once good, they were just tired of being “good.'' He also has a duel personality, serious and also a fucking cuddly bear. His personality is weirdly quiet, yet smart/serious and awkward/kind. Mhm.

Sexuality - Demipansexual :0

Height - 7’1

Pronouns - He/Him (Male)

Voice Info - Baritone but with a bit of rasp :0

Age - 147

Weakness - He can’t heal himself, he can only treat himself manually. Low positivity supply. His powers are radiant defective, meaning still a radiant but since he was drained he lost some of the possible radiant abilities. He can still fly, but if he does it for too long his wings will suffer. His wings are actual wings that come out of his back and just...yikes. He also has these capsules of positivity (more like his own yellow blood-) and uses them to help soothe the aching he gets on his wings. The cause of the pain is unknown. Can live like an immortal, but if you actually try to kill him he can die.

Fear - Thanatophobia, fear of Death/Dying

Weapon - “Light” Sword (it's still a Claymore but he rarely uses it now)

Likes // Passions & Talents- He’s good at persuading people to follow his orders. Promising them a better life. He is rather articulate, he’s also good at chess and mind games. His status is like a leader-like tyrant, everyone kinda worships him lol. He also is insanely tall and looks terrifying so there's that. He’s nice though, don't worry ^^

Dislikes - Being absolutely unreasonable. Being called evil, and meeting people with a big ego. Toxic manipulative behavior.

backstory // other below the cut —>

Other - It starts with the regular abducted children becoming guardians shenanigans, except Nightmare (Ezzra) has the ability to drain people’s powers/life force :) Dream lives a mostly peaceful life in the village when an argument between him and Nightmare takes place. The argument being about Nightmare’s lack of care being around people, and not hanging out with anyone else but Dream. (He just wanted him to live a little-)

This is when the terrible incident happens. Dream is the first victim to Nightmare’s draining powers. It almost kills him :,D So in order to survive he eats a bunch of the positive apples desperate for survival, and turns into a tattered winged man. Nightmare is so horrified that he runs in fear of Dioxxi and himself. After the incident Dream couldn’t speak because his speech was eradicated by the draining spell. But he was still ruthless nonetheless.

Dream goes on a whole ‘corruption/negativity should be destroyed’ tangent, and well kills a shit ton of criminals and creates the organization called JR. That goes on for a while until he meets Ani, on the hospital roof. He offers them a safe space from all the pain and suffering, and they agree. Annika (Ani) helps Dioxxi with his inability to speak, and slowly teaches him how to communicate. This is when they started to bond a bit more.

All good things come to an end when Annika passes, and Dioxxi is back to round one. He goes on another killing criminals tangent and even manages to kill Cross (Pierce) JR becomes a very scary place to be around after that, many scary stories being spread around the town.

Dioxxi then makes his biggest mission to bring back Annika. Great idea right? He searched and searched for a spell or something to help with bringing back the dead. Numerous fails, and one pass. He was able to successfully bring back Annika, even when his energy and health suffered. By this time period, Dream figured out how to speak, and Annika was pleasantly surprised.

Dioxxi soon changes his mind on the whole, “killing criminals thing” after Annika was able convince him. And well, now Dioxxi only wants to capture Ezzra for the sake of revenge/really salty reasons. No killing, the first thing he wants is an apology actually. The council of presidents and politicians dislike him because they think he’s an idiot corp leader. If anyone tries to reason with him he will now listen. He tries to rehabilitate or change the criminal’s minds due to his expanded brain and yeah, he's a good guy now.

[dreamsmp-au-ideas]

Ooo, I kinda like the idea that no one sees Tubbo's akumatization coming, even Tubbo? Like, if Ladybug and Chat have filled them in that folks who are experiencing negative emotions are likely candidates for akumatization, then when the Miraculous get taken back by Gabriel, they're all on the lookout for folks who are upset so they can try to get a jump on preventing or stopping akumatizations. Therapuffy and Eret are basically working overtime to encourage open communication and emotional literacy among everyone, lol. And Tubbo's so good at appearing functional, at pushing down his issues, at focusing on the next task to ignore all the past failures, it kind of goes assumed that he's doing alright.

So one day, it's been like a couple weeks since the Miraculous got stolen back. Everyone's been on high alert trying to keep akumas under control, sometimes even responding before Ladybug and Chat do. Because they're just kids, aren't they? They should have a normal teenage experience as much as they can; the Gremlins can handle it as long as they bring the akuma to Marinette to purify later. Point being, the Gremlins have been busy.

And then Tubbo just has one bad day. He woke up on the wrong side of the bed, restless and exhausted from nightmares he didn't bother to tell anyone about, because if he can get back to sleep eventually, clearly they weren't that bad. Plus he's stressed about finding the Miraculous again; it wasn't so hard to steal them in the first place, so why are they so hard to track down now? He'd bonded a little bit with Nooroo and Duusuu, he doesn't want to think about them back in Gabriel's clutches. So he's working himself to the bone trying to figure out where Gabriel might be.

And he and Ranboo are out patrolling for akumas or any other sign of Hawkmoth, and at just the wrong time, Tubbo overhears some kids talking about current events.

"He's such an idiot! Honestly, he's a horrible president. That whole country would be better off without him."

And Tubbo... he knows they're not talking about him. Obviously they're not. No one here even knows about L'manberg, and Tubbo hasn't been president for a long time. All the same, it brings up memories of Dream, smugly telling Tubbo that he'd been playing him for weeks, for months, calling him the worst president ever, calling him stupid. And no one had even denied it, least of all Tubbo. He can't think of one decision he'd made as president that he doesn't want to take back.

But it was ages ago. And Tubbo's over it, he definitely is, he doesn't care. So he ignores his stewing thoughts and keeps walking with Ranboo, just a bit quieter.

And a few minutes later, they see an akuma flying towards them, and they both get ready to follow it and warn whoever it's going for. But it doesn't turn away, it just keeps flying towards them. And they exchange an uneasy look.

"Tubbo?" Ranboo asks, a little nervous when he takes a step away and the akuma doesn't veer from its course. "Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine," Tubbo says immediately, like he always does, like it's routine. "I'm fine. It's not me, I'm totally fine."

But the akuma clearly thinks otherwise. And as Ranboo watches in growing apprehension, the akuma dodges Tubbo's attempts to swat it away and lands neatly on the necklace he wears close to his chest, a locket with a group photo of all the gremlins on one side and a portrait of Michael on the other. Black clouds cover the locket, and a familiar purple butterfly appears over Tubbo's eyes as Ranboo shouts in alarm.

And Tubbo had wondered in the past what it was like to be akumatized, how Hawkmoth had apparently been persuasive enough to convince half of Paris to attack their heroes. But now, he understands: it isn't Hawkmoth's offer that convinces people. It's the sudden rush of emotions that floods his veins, every inch of him abruptly crying out in hurt and betrayal and outrage. It's the feeling of a pot boiling over, scalding water splashing out and burning everything in range. It's the furious tremble in his fingers as he's consumed by the sole thought that he didn't deserve what happened to him, that he's been wronged so deeply it hurts, that the only way to make it stop is to make everyone else understand just how he feels. The blood roaring in Tubbo's ears is almost enough to drown out Ranboo, who's shouting something and tugging at Tubbo's arm, but Hawkmoth's voice comes through crystal clear.

"Ah, little Tyrant," says Gabriel Agreste, pleased as the cat who caught the canary, and doesn't that just make Tubbo's blood boil even more. "I was hoping it'd be one of you eventually."

"Get out of my head," Tubbo says, teeth clenched so tightly his jaw aches.

"Oh, of course, Tyrant," Gabriel placates. "Of course. But first... First, I am going to give you the power to ensure you're never attacked again. I will make sure you are heard. I will give you an outlet for all that fury simmering inside of you. And in return, you are going to bring me the other Miraculous."

And logically. Logically, Tubbo knows it's a bad deal. Logically, he knows Marinette and Adrien are his friends, and he'd never try to take their Miraculous. Logically, he should say no, should get Marinette to the akuma and cleanse it and move on and ignore it.

But his emotions are running higher and hotter than he thought possible, and all he can see is Hawkmoth, offering him a way to get rid of them, to feel better, to make everyone finally get it.

And it's not like it'd be hard to grab a couple of Miraculous.

"Alright," says Tyrant, eyes dark. "You've got a deal."

There's a crash of thunder, a billowing outpour of smoke from the corrupted locket, and then Tubbo vanishes, leaving Ranboo alone in the streets of Paris.

"Uh," says Ranboo into his phone, voice high-pitched with panic. "Guys, we have a problem."

;-;

Welp. This hurts. Thanks anon. Oh boy. This hurts a lot. Oh wow.

[prettyoddfever]

Brendon & Ryan in the Fever era

(this is mostly context that I want to reference elsewhere).

In 2005-2006 I thought Brendon, Ryan, and Spencer all had very different, but equally important roles in the band. Spencer helped dream up a huge part of the band’s visually creative aspects (like stuff with the stage shows, videos, & album cover art), and dealt with some of the business side of the early band (like being the contact for Shane Drake, crafting a press statement from the band, answering crew member’s questions on tour, etc). He was incredibly responsible & practical, yet wildly creative at the same time and could really dream big. His flair for the dramatic was pretty fun too. I appreciate Spencer SO much and recognize that the band would’ve been drastically different or even nonexistent without his huge contributions. I just want to focus on the Brendon/Ryan dynamic here, but that absolutely doesn’t mean that I think they were the two main players in the band or anything. Ok Spencer disclaimer over. :)

EARLY CONTEXT

Ryan chose to make Brendon the singer sometime around roughly late summer or early fall 2004 and said it was the best move for the band (an early draft of the lyrics for what would become It’s Time to Dance also existed by August). Brendon seemed like he was just eager to do whatever the other guys needed from him. He was a junior in high school when he joined the band in spring 2004 and later said he hadn’t had many close friends in school (his main friend was a crude jerk from what I saw on myspace). Brendon said that Spencer, Ryan, and Brent were the first people he met who shared his sense of humor. Then the band became the world Brendon entered throughout 2005 as he left high school and an unsupportive home behind. I thought it looked like Brendon didn’t quite feel like an equal member of the band even in the early Fever era, though… it was like he was just happy to be part of a group and really wanted to be good enough for them.

Ryan & Spencer seemed like they were running the band together in the early Fever era, but it also felt like Ryan was the overall authority (even the journalists who bothered to describe what they’d observed said that Ryan was clearly in charge). Brendon was like Ryan’s mouthpiece. The pre-split band is going to become super confusing if you project everyone’s current personality or roles onto their past selves... they were totally different back then. Even in 2008 Brendon was often still viewed by fans & media as Ryan’s silly sidekick. Just because Brendon is confident & in charge today doesn’t mean that he was remotely like that in the previous band. I’ve heard that some current fans are trying to make it seem like Ryan Ross was a competent frontman all along, while Brendon was an egotistical tyrant who pushed a meek Ryan out of that role and caused him to suffer a string of injustices? (I wish I had a time machine just to show our younger selves how even the most basic facts about the early band have become so distorted lol). Ryan was the opposite of a passive pushover, and the whole frontman situation wasn’t nearly that simplistic. I’ll come back to why the comparison of their voices shouldn’t even matter, but first...

Maybe people have seen Live in Denver from late July 2006 and assumed that it’s the standard for summer 2006 or even some kind of norm for the entire Fever era. Ryan’s voice was not like that in 2004-2005. This isn’t an opinion either... it’s just a basic observation of a fact. Even Ryan’s friends who knew him during his days in Pet Salamander or The Summer League would openly admit that his singing wasn’t very good (and that’s me putting it nicely). Trying to pretend like Ryan was always a great singer totally discredits the massive effort he put into voice training... he worked incredibly hard. Brendon helped coach him on the road, shared tips, and encouraged him to sing more in shows once he was ready (Brendon seemed ridiculously proud of anything Ryan did in 2006 btw). Ryan was a noticeably better singer by late 2005, but by spring 2006 he was surprisingly good. SO many fans in 2006 absolutely loved Ryan’s voice. You’re not unearthing anything new or surprising by pointing out that Ryan was the lead singer of The Summer League in 2003 and had a good voice in 2006. Those two points shouldn’t be connected to imply that Ryan was robbed of a role that should’ve been his in the early Fever era... there’s a lot more to this. 

Side tangent: Brendon’s voice was a little bit stronger than Ryan’s and it was still in realllllly rough shape during a lot of the Fever era because the band launched into touring for almost 1.5 years straight right after playing their first show ever. Brendon had had no practice with how to preserve his voice during long stretches of touring (and it didn’t help that several of the bands they toured with admitted that they actively tried to get Brendon to lose his voice after shows each night lol). Plus, the guys had no experience with how to stay healthy on tour. Brendon couldn’t quite shake the cold he had that winter (and spring & July & October haha). We watched him go through a wide range of diets and other tricks to try to save his voice in 2006 and learn how to be healthier on the road. Brendon’s inexperienced voice definitely took a beating. His vocals were often iffy at best. But it’s not quite an accurate comparison to contrast that with Ryan’s healthy, rested voice and then claim that Ryan was a better singer overall. I think most singers would have had a similar rough time being thrown into an intense touring schedule before they’d even learned how to perform with a band or take care of their voice. Ryan would’ve been in the same boat.

IT REALLY DOESN’T MATTER WHOSE VOICE WAS BETTER

Brendon even said himself that his voice was only marginally better than Ryan’s when they were starting the band in mid-2004. But it was slightly stronger, had more of a range (like he could get more inflection & personality into the lines), and sounded more mature… so that was the better fit for what Ryan wanted for the lyrics. Ryan told the Miami Herald towards the end of the Fever era that Brendon’s voice was better “especially for what the lyrics were saying. He sounds a lot older than I do.” (I thought Spencer had the best voice in the early band btw and Brendon was a very competent drummer, so it’s not like they were stuck without options. But Brendon’s voice definitely sounded the most mature out of those 3 guys).

Ryan focused a lot on how Brendon had the confidence to actually sing what Ryan wanted to write. That does not mean that Ryan gave up his role as lead singer because he had low self-esteem or was lacking confidence in his own awesome voice or however else people are misunderstanding that these days. Look at how aggressively Ryan worked to improve as a singer and then added more parts for himself to sing in live shows once he was ready... he seemed to have a healthy & realistic awareness of his own strengths, weaknesses, and potential. Ryan meant that he was lacking the confidence to swagger around onstage and deliver his risqué lyrics with the necessary bravado. Ryan talked about this a lot, so I’ll just throw a few quotes in here that summarize the rest:

Ryan told Alt Press that “Some of the songs that I write I think I would feel sort of uncomfortable singing and I’d be more reserved about it.”

Ryan told Rolling Stone: “If I was the singer, I wouldn’t be able to write some of the stuff I write. [Brendon will] get the praise or he’ll take the heat for it. I wouldn’t be able to deliver that stuff. It’s not that I’m afraid of it, but I’m not confident enough.” 

this was very basic info that was talked about a lot in 2006 so it sums stuff up nicely.

“It felt right to have confident-sounding lyrics behind a confident voice.”

there’s more in the section about Brendon singing Ryan’s lyrics.

Ryan’s delivery of the Fever-era songs wouldn’t have packed the necessary punch and he knew that. He recognized that Brendon’s voice sounded a bit more mature and that Brendon was way more confident, animated, and outgoing. Brendon didn’t steal any kind of role that Ryan could have successfully filled… he was in that spot to help Ryan (almost like a tool that Ryan used). Ryan explained many times that he was able to write the lyrics that he wanted to write because he knew that he wouldn’t have to actually deliver them. 

Slightly related: the Lucent Dossier performers told fans after a couple shows in the summer tour that the lap dance Brendon got had been Ryan’s idea... so if that’s true, then it’s yet another risqué idea that Ryan could come up with because he wasn’t the one carrying it out. 

Ryan fascinated me during the Fever era because he was so shy, yet cocky & arrogant at the same time. I mean that last part in the best way possible btw – that’s what allowed the band to succeed in the first place. He had the guts to write the lyrics to AFYCSO when he was only 18, bug Pete Wentz online, and piss off so many people in 2006 by basically saying that his own band was better than the crap that all the other modern bands were doing. I thought his arrogance was admirable, and his blunt & cocky comments could be pretty funny. Ryan fully believed in what he was doing, had a huge amount of control within the band, moved full speed ahead, and wasn’t going to waste time trying to please anyone else. But at the same time, he could still be really shy around fans in 2005 & 2006. So if you just look at one narrow aspect of his personality, you’ll miss the bigger picture.

Brendon was an incredibly charismatic performer who owned the stage at a point when Ryan admitted in several interviews that he was personally more comfortable in the corner. In fall 2005 Ryan often hid behind his hair or stared at his feet/guitar. He had changed a lot by spring 2006, and had grown even more by that summer when he wore stage makeup and Zack ran the MVP competition that encouraged Ryan to get outside of his comfort zone... yet fans at many of those summer shows said that Ryan still often relied on staring at Brendon as a sort of safe space to focus on. Ryan was like a completely different person by mid-2007 who was WAY more comfortable and confident both onstage & offstage, but that’s absolutely not who he was during the Fever era when the band needed someone to strut around singing about being a better fuck than any boy you’ll ever meet. P!ATD needed Brendon as the frontman in 2005-2006 in order to succeed when they had the opportunity. Brendon was also shy in his own way and often didn’t do as well in shows where the band knew they were being professionally recorded... but overall he was loud & outgoing and he could act. And that’s what the band needed for the Fever era: a frontman who could step into a character and put on a dramatic show. (This isn’t even taking the Nothing Rhymes With Circus Tour into consideration lol). 

Brendon & Ryan both talked about how Brendon needed to step into a character and actually take on the persona of the narrator in the song for the first album. Being the frontman of the Fever-era band was about SO much more than who had a better singing voice. There was also a decent amount of acting & dancing involved in Brendon’s job, which were two more things that Ryan wasn’t comfortable with yet. Brendon’s performances in the 2 early music videos also contributed to the band’s success. Ryan said outright in interviews that he didn’t act and didn’t want to have that big of a part onscreen (FOB’s video for A Little Less Sixteen Candles was filmed between P!ATD’s first 2 videos and Ryan wasn’t in that one... Brendon did it instead). As far as the dancing goes, obviously Brendon’s choreographed parts in the 2 national tours were super popular, but I’m also talking about moments in all of the tours where Brendon would spontaneously dance around onstage by himself... that guy was like a ball of energy. He was entertaining.

I didn’t think Brendon’s voice was his main strength in the early Fever era. He was fine, but a lot of the early talk revolved around how much fun it was to watch him having a blast onstage. He had such a strong personality and was somehow the biggest dork but still commanded attention. He seriously owned whatever stage he was on... I’m pretty sure his stage presence was the main reason I actually got into the band in fall 2005. And he did all of that on top of playing the guitar & piano (yes, Kara from BNO gave Ryan some piano lessons during the Nintendo Fusion Tour so he could successfully play the part for There’s A Good Reason after that, but he still had a lot of work to do to get to the point where he could’ve played the piano parts for the other songs that Brendon still did while singing. Eric Ronick gave Ryan some piano lessons a year later towards the end of the Fever era, and Ryan made it sound like he was just learning the piano at that point). Spencer was so impressed with how Brendon could hear a song one time and then play it back to you on a range of instruments... the guy was incredibly gifted musically and clearly loved to perform. Brendon could also handle the crowds in an authoritative way that I could never picture Ryan doing. The fans in 2006 were ridiculous and got a reputation for being obnoxiously intense. There were stories in summer & fall 2006 of Brendon taking control and stepping in when people were getting hurt – he even stopped the band a few times. He was also able to improv when things went wrong and comfortably joke around with the relatively smaller crowds in the early months.

It’s weird to even compare Brendon & Ryan like this because their roles were so different. It never felt like a competition between them during the Fever era, and fans loved them with the same intensity. Both guys brought different strengths to the early band and their roles were equally necessary for P!ATD’s success. Yeah, Brendon couldn’t write lyrics like Ryan. But Ryan absolutely couldn’t have pulled off the dramatic & flamboyant performance that the Fever era required. They were a team and they needed each other. If you support Ryan, then it’s odd to wish that Brendon hadn’t been the frontman. You can read Ryan’s amazing lyrics in the cd insert, but Brendon was the one who brought them to life.

Brendon had the ability to own a stage, but Ryan still maintained a lot of power in the early band. Brendon wasn’t even the main face of P!ATD for a while – Ryan was often pictured instead if only one guy was shown. Ryan was placed towards the front of some early photoshoots too and did a lot of print interviews on his own. The media seemed to recognize that Ryan was the main guy to talk to from P!ATD (and sometimes they played up his “wunderkind” image a little too much... like idk how anyone wouldn’t feel pressure from that). Ryan & Spencer also did most of the talking in early interviews, while Brendon would sit there quietly and be whatever they wanted. I cannot emphasize enough that Ryan had a ton of control within the band. Some interviews made it sound like Ryan gradually modified the live songs throughout the Fever era to give himself parts he felt comfortable singing, so he was still in charge of those steps too.

Some fans in fall 2007 tended to dismiss what Ryan personally wanted and tried to hold him to their own expectations of what they wanted him to be... and that’s what people are still doing today when they argue that Ryan should've been the lead singer in the Fever era. Ryan would not have been comfortable or very good in that role on the first album (and that’s ok). Brendon ended up needing to act, confidently sing the risqué lyrics with personality, dance around enthusiastically, improv, have an engaging personality onstage, be relatively comfortable in the spotlight, play the keyboard & guitar, control the crowds, etc (and follow Ryan’s direction). None of them knew the level of fame they were getting into or the specifics of what the frontman of their band would end up needing to do, but Ryan knew he wanted his band to go far. (Seriously, the level of determination & ambition that I saw in Ryan and Spencer still inspires me). Even in spring 2006 Ryan was still saying stuff like “I don’t think there is a limit to how big we want to get” (which was super different from his perspective by 2007, but that’s another topic). Ryan’s decision to place Brendon in the lead singer role was part of his overall mission to succeed as a band. If you don’t respect that decision, then you're dismissing Ryan’s plans & goals. 

RYAN SPENT YEARS TRAINING BRENDON TO FULFILL A SPECIFIC ROLE

I’ve already mentioned in other posts how Brendon & Ryan said they fought a lot as they struggled to figure out how to work together. Ryan had a very specific vision for how he wanted the songs performed, but he said he wasn’t able to sing well enough yet to convey those ideas to Brendon... and Brendon couldn’t read his mind. Both guys were in a frustrating position sometimes in summer & fall 2005. They claimed that they were working together better by spring 2006, but it really seemed like this same general source of conflict continued and only got worse in 2007 (although the band visibly got along WAY better in the last half of 2006 once Jon Walker arrived... and they even said that. Jon must have some ridiculously good mediating skills). There’s more info buried in this post about this topic btw.

Brendon & Ryan were like two halves who needed each other equally for most of 2006 (things were changing by fall though). Brendon was outgoing and thrived in the spotlight onstage, but he also visibly relied heavily on Ryan’s approval (both in terms of what Brendon was doing as a frontman and also just… in general). The two guys balanced each other offstage too (see the 6th bullet point under “random August stuff” for a few examples of what we were seeing). Ryan’s presence could kind of reassure Brendon or put him at ease, while Brendon’s presence could bring Ryan out of his shell and help him be more comfortable in some social situations.

This whole setup worked fine for 2006, but I remember wondering what would happen when Ryan didn’t need Brendon as a shield or mouthpiece anymore... like what would Brendon’s role in the band be then. And that’s not even taking into consideration the fact that eventually Brendon might feel like an equal member of the band and start to have ideas about what he wanted to do... yet Ryan was used to largely controlling things and would still need to do whatever he fully believed in. The way that the band was set up in 2004-2006 worked well for what they needed to achieve at the time, but it also wasn’t built to last. 

In a phone interview at the end of the Fever era Brendon mentioned he was using his time off to learn several new instruments so he could help out if the band suddenly wanted a certain sound while they were writing the second album. He still seemed like he just wanted to be useful & needed. Brendon also talked about how he and Ryan were two strong parts who made a good team together. He said it took him a couple years to get to know Ryan, but he understood him a lot better now and had successfully learned how to work with him (I’m paraphrasing btw). By late 2006 Brendon had also become way more confident speaking up in interviews and looked like an equal part of the band. He also seemed excited about the possibility of Ryan singing more on the next album (but those comments usually sounded like he envisioned them singing together in dramatic performer roles). 

Ryan did an interview towards the end of the Fever era with the Miami Herald where he talked about Brendon singing his lyrics:

“In some ways it’s good and in some ways it’s frustrating. On the one hand I can say anything I want to say and not have to worry about how I’m going to be seen, because I’m not the one physically saying it. But it was really frustrating at times, too, trying to get across to him how I wanted a part to sound or how I wanted it to come across emotionally. We’re still trying to find that balance of understanding each other.”

Basically, Ryan wanted things done exactly the way he envisioned them, but Brendon was never going to be a precise extension of Ryan. And that’s not either guy’s fault! The point is that this setup never fully satisfied Ryan, there was tension from the start that never really went away, and that conflict only increased in 2007. Brendon & Ryan used this early setup in 2005-2006 out of necessity, the band focused on working really hard to quickly become good enough to perform at the new levels P!ATD kept reaching during the whirlwind of the Fever era, and then that era was suddenly over and the guys were left to figure out what to do next with a band that was no longer limited in the same ways. Ryan would have been an equally good frontman by mid-2007 (plus they had Jon now, who was a massive influence when the band was looking for something “different” to try, buuuut that’s a whole other topic).

By the end of 2006 Brendon had comfortably settled into the role that Ryan had given him, and had even started to make it his own. But meanwhile Ryan had been growing more confident & changing a lot... and he didn’t need Brendon in the same way onstage or offstage anymore. You can see why Brendon might have been uncertain about his role in the band during late 2007 & early 2008 when P!ATD essentially changed to become a different type of band that didn’t need a dramatic frontman anymore. Brendon’s role in early 2008 was very different, and it was something that Ryan could’ve done just as adequately... but that idea obviously does not apply to the Fever era. 

This post is not context for the split btw – it’s not even the halfway point. I’m just trying to show what the original setup was, why it was necessary, and how it wasn’t built to last. Both Brendon & Ryan were in established roles within the band that they probably identified with by the end of the Fever era. Then Ryan wanted to maintain his role while also moving into Brendon’s spot... and I thought any frustration was understandable for both sides. My main point for this post is that Ryan defined Brendon’s role in the early years and made sure he carried it out a specific way because that helped Ryan at the time. 

THE MAIN POST

[dreamhot]

I wonder if Dream being faceless makes it easier for antis? Like they see him as the Great Evil omnipresent voice and just dehumanize him? Maybe that’s why when photos of him in a suit were posted there were so many antis riled up in hate boners 😳

I remember seeing a comment on Anthony Padilla’s video interviewing Dream saying something like “wow Dream seems like a cool guy, I thought he was egotistical person. But he responds to Anthony genuinely and is actually very well spoken.” Then someone responded with “no he just knows what to say to get things in his favor, he is actually very manipulative and cunning in his words to make others like him”

It’s so funny seeing antis describe Dream as this horrible villain who will take over the world with his Minecraft gameplay 😫

HA this sort of ties in to what i was saying about villains and povs - something to be said about how coming across as hidden and inscrutable might give people more incentive to ascribe evil intentions to someone. maybe once he face reveals, then more people will have the 'just a guy' realisation. no, he's not some monstrous tyrant who's out to corrupt the youth of today with hate speech and negativity. he's a man who plays mc with his friends for a living. like. literally that's it lmao

it IS hilarious when people take any positive thing he does and try to make it into some manipulative bit like antis will quite actually do backflips through flaming hoops to spin everything he does into some mastermind scheme to... get popular ?? idk ?? buddy has enough money by now. not sure what he stands to gain by being kind toward the people who got him to this point lol like is this not the better outcome than him being aloof and rude and flexing his fame ?? he's a nice dude. a regular guy. he has flaws and strengths and puts his pants on one leg at a time like the rest of us

(people who put both pant legs on at once need not reply)

[ohshcscenerios]

with Christmas season approaching, what kind of 'Hallmark movie premise' would you see for Haruhi x the hosts??? bc everytime I see 'city lawyer woman and small town woodsman who teaches her about the magic of Christmas' I think Mori x Haruhi and like. Disney level animal sidekicks of Mori's raccoon and chick lol. Hope your halloween went well btw and ty for the video series!!! You have the prettiest brown eyes btw ^^

This is the cutest idea and I want a fan-fiction series of these hallmark stories 😭 Also thank you so much, I'm so glad you enjoyed the videos! I was very disheartened because they flopped on TikTok but I still had fun making them ☺️.

Haruhi x Takashi:

I can definitely see their story being a "city lawyer woman meets rugged yet shy woodsman". I can even see Takashi being a school teacher in this scenario. Maybe he still lives in the woods because he enjoys his privacy but from 7-3 he teaches history at the high school.

Now, I want to say their situation would be the classic "there are no hotel rooms available in this small town" and Haruhi so happens to meet Takashi at the only has station. He overhears her asking where she can stay the night and he knows she won't find a place at this time of night so he walks over and offers the small guest cabin on his property. He explains that's where his cousin stays when he comes to visit but she can stay there as long as she needs to.

Also, when Haruhi goes to the high school to talk to Takashi about the case she's working on his students ooh and awe at the hottie standing in the hallway and when he walks back inside they're all snickering that he has a secret girlfriend. He doesn't correct them, just tells them to turn to page 30 in their textbooks.

She offers to make them dinner as her way of thanking him for his generosity. They eat together almost every night. At first they talk about the case - or what Haruhi can disclose - and the town's history, but after a while they start talking about their lives, their families, their goals and dreams. Soon their light chatter isn't just friendly conversation anymore.

Takashi looks forward to seeing her after work and Haruhi finds a strange peace in living in the quiet wood. Then one night they're sitting outside under the stars with a cup of coffee and Takashi gathers the courage to ask if she has to leave when the case is done... or if she could stay with him.

Haruhi x Kyoya:

Hear me out; small town girl living in the big city to pursue her dream of becoming a lawyer meets cocky businessman who is visiting to scope out a coffee shop. He wants to buy it so he can turn it into an office for the Ootori Group so they'll have grounds in the city. It also so happens to be Haruhi's favorite coffee shop.

They meet by accident one morning but it's not the classic meet-cute scenario. Haruhi sits down with her cup by the window and Kyoya approaches her with a tablet in one hand and a tea in the other. He asks to sit with her since the place is packed and the only seat available is right in front of her. She says yes and for a while they sit in silence until Haruhi asks what he's working on. He states it's rude to pry on other's business. Haruhi says she can see him designing a building blueprint on his tablet and it looked cool. Kyoya adjusts his glasses and asks if the people here are always this nosey. Haruhi gets insulted. Kyoya doesn't care since the coffee shop will hopefully be gone by the end of the month and leaves.

They continue meeting each other nearly every day at the coffee shop. Their backhanded insults slowly turn into sarcastic flirting. Soon Kyoya and Haruhi are caught in the rain and he offers her a ride to her apartment. In the car he opens up about his life, confessing that his father is the one who is making him do this. If he can establish the Ootori Group in this city it'll help prove himself. Haruhi considers this and asks if that's really what he wants, if he really wants to take over the family business or if that's just another thing his father is making him do. Kyoya stays awake that night, unable to sleep because of that question.

The next day he texts his father and informs him the coffee shop isn't a good location for their office. His father is disappointed and makes a sly comment of asking one of his brothers to finish the task Kyoya couldn't do on his own.

That was what made Kyoya realize - he didn't want to work beneath this tyrant forever. He didn't want a life ruled by his father.

Kyoya returns to the coffee shop and sees Haruhi sitting in their usual spot. With a smile and a newfound goal, he approaches her with a tablet in one hand and a tea in the other.

Haruhi x Tamaki:

Why did I first think of Elf 🤣. In all seriousness, I think Tamaki would be the one hoping to fill Haruhi with Christmas cheer. I can see Haruhi working at a law firm but not as a lawyer, maybe as the receptionist, and she's all business. She has goals and she's intent on climbing the ladder to her own office. Tamaki is a new intern at the firm, hired during the Holidays since the Christmas season is usually the busiest time of year for the firm. Tamaki instantly takes a liking to Haruhi and stops by her desk every morning for a hello and a smile.

Soon he's bringing her a cup of coffee. Peppermint, mocha, salty caramel, whatever sweet seasonal flavors the area has to offer. He just wants to see her smile. One day she does.

Tamaki asks her out on a date which she declines but after five more attempts she says yes and meets him at a casual restaurant a few blocks from the firm.

Haruhi opens up and confesses Christmas is a hard time for her since losing her mother. Tamaki becomes solemn and says he can relate with her, that he too misses his mother during the holidays. Haruhi avoids the holidays while Tamaki embraces them - for the same reason.

With this new bondship they unknowingly become closer.

Tamaki still tries to get Haruhi into the Christmas mood but giving her small treats every morning and she complains he's going to make her fat but he only laughs it off.

Then the firm closes for the Christmas weekend and Haruhi is sitting in her apartment alone. No Christmas tree, no Christmas lights, not even a Santa mug... But she sees the pumpkin spiced muffin on her kitchen counter from that morning and decides...

She calls Tamaki and asks to spend Christmas with him.

Haruhi x Hikaru:

Ok hear me out; Haruhi is a lawyer with her own office on the top floor and Hikaru is the computer tech who is charged with teaching her how to use the new technology the firm just adopted. He has to teach her how to use the new tablets, presentation screens, and mobile devices. Haruhi wishes they would have left things as they are but she has no choice. Time to adapt.

With all the time they spend together they begin talking - then they talk over coffee - then they talk over dinner. At first Haruhi tells herself she's just making a new friend, that her busy work schedule doesn't allow for romance, that they can't be more than friends. She's been putting off relationships for so long so she could focus on her work. Surely Hikaru would understand.

He doesn't. Within a month's time his work there is done. He's installed all the new technology into her office, taught her how to use it, and left the manuals on her desk - along with a note explaining his feelings.

Haruhi realizes she loves him just as he's walking out of building and for the first time since working at the firm Haruhi is seen running down the stairs.

Haruhi x Kaoru:

Obviously Kaoru has to be a fashion designer. I'd say Haruhi is a small town girl going to a community college when Kaoru stumbles into town. She's going to get her associates there before moving onto a big-name college in the city for the rest of her law degree. Kaoru is just supposed to be passing through on his way to a convention.

He gets caught in a blizzard and ends up at Haruhi's front door. Thankfully she's able to live on her own in a one bedroom apartment so Kaoru takes the couch for the night. It all happens so fast they don't even have an introduction until morning.

Over coffee Kaoru introduces himself as a rising fashion designer and how he's supposed to be at a convention by the next day for fresh and upcoming trends. Haruhi sadly tells him it'll take a week for the plowers to reach her street. He's stuck there.

Kaoru, bored out of his mind, goes through Haruhi's closet and tosses her bland clothing on the bed. He promises to renovate her wardrobe when he gets the chance to which Haruhi refuses. She doesn't need to look like a rich snob. Kaoru reminds her law school will demand a sense of fashion, even if it's just business suits. Name brands have a voice in the world in the law.

During their time together Haruhi and Kaoru realize they get along very well. During the week stuck inside they sit by the floor heater with their instant hot chocolates and joke that it beats a roaring fire.

Soon the blizzard stops and the roads are plowed within 9 days time. Kaoru already missed the convention and he's very disappointed but he's still hesitant to leave. He asks Haruhi when she'll obtain her associates degree. She says by spring. Kaoru smiles and tells her to live with him when she goes to college in the city. He had a spacious three bedroom apartment on the skirt of the city - with a walk in closet.

Haruhi x Mitsukuni:

Forgive me but I can't think of a scenario where Mitsukuni isn't an elf in disguise 🤣. It's the perfect job for him; he'd be surrounded by sweets and toys all day. Maybe he has to act as Haruhi's Christmas guardian. He has to help her fall in love with Christmas again.

They don't fall in love... I can just see them becoming good friends. Maybe Mitsukuni gives her a snow globe of the North Pole and says that's where he'll be if she ever needs him again.

[kai-keda]

Cowards Die Many Times | DreamSMP Fanfic

Wow okay so I literally JUST made a post flat-out making fun of myself for writing this but in the tags I made a comment of “Should I post this?” and wow three people already reblogged with comments expressing I share.

So, you can thank (or blame lol) @thesmpisonfire @tommyistheprotagofthesmp and @ak3m0n for this being posted here at all. Depending on what the response to this is on here, I may or not post it on a03 and, again, depending on the response, I may or may not make this a sort of collection of one-shots detailing different death scenes and how the characters felt in those moments.

A/N:

THIS IS NOT ABOUT THE REAL LIFE STREAMERS!

I view the DreamSMP storyline as a sort of Dungeons and Dragons game with no real DM. Just players running around a world that they create as they go along and cause whatever chaotic instances and plot points they can manage. As such, while I write this and as you read this I want you to remember - burn into your brain - that this story isn’t about the real Minecraft streamers. They aren’t even streamers in this fic, they are fictional characters living in a made-up fictional world. I get that the line is blurred due to the nature of the videos this is based on, but I view it as being sort of like how when you write a character like Spiderman, you’re writing Spiderman, not Tobey Maquire.

All that being said, I really wanted to just write this concept of how death and respawn works with Tubbo from a certain festival event but as it turns out, he is very uncomfortable with the concept of fanfiction written about him. (Thank you SMP-boundaries for your God sent Tumblr) As such, even though I don’t see it as me writing literally him as I’m sure he’s seen plenty of, I won’t include anything from his perspective and try to limit any sort of mention of him. (I can’t bring myself to surgically remove him entirely. That would just be impossible because of how much of a part he plays both in what visibly happens and in Tommy’s development) ALSO PLEASE do not go out of your way and tag or try to show any of the Minecraft streamers/youtubers involved in this (not that y’all would lol). I happen to know that Tommy especially doesn’t want to see them even if he’s okay with them existing.

This was also meant to be a sort of collection of ficlets in one chapter. It was going to include more than this one scene and even include a POV from Wilbur but, uh, wow I got really carried away heh

SO YEAH! Now we got the important bits out of the way, please enjoy~

Cowards Die Many Times

“Do I shoot him Wil, or do I aim for the skies?” It was a heavy question. So heavy he couldn’t bring himself to raise his head. As they stood together and allowed the light reflecting off the water shine on them in a subtle way, Tommy considered his options. The answer should have been obvious. After all, this was war and this duel was their ticket to end it all and free themselves from their previous leader. The one Wil and he had labeled as a tyrant.

Dream.

“Tommy I -” A pause. Tommy looked up at his general. The only man he would ever take orders from. Wilbur Soot. He could see in his eyes that he had messed up. This was a burden Tommy couldn’t handle anymore. The deafening silence lasted for all of two seconds but it felt like eternity. He would never know for sure what Wilbur thought of his outburst and challenge towards their worst enemy, but the answer he received relaxed him. If only for a bit.

“I want you to do whatever your heart tells you.”

Tommy took a deep breath and relaxed it before turning around and going towards the man who hid behind a mask.

“Coward.” He whispered to himself. When he thought the word, he believed it was for Dream but now that he felt it leave his mouth and heard the shake of his voice, he wasn’t sure if it was for himself or not.

He walked to the center of the wooden path and held his bow tight. The tyrant, with his bright green hoodie that seemed to act as a target and challenge, laughed with his friends. With George and Sapnap. As if he felt this was all a game and after he won it would all be over with him holding more than bragging rights. The worst of the scene was that even Eret - the traitor - joined in their fun.

With such thoughts running through his mind, it’s no wonder the decision Tommy came to.

They needed their independence.

And Tommy had the perfect opportunity.

He knew what death felt like. He had nearly grown used to it. Maybe that’s why he was always so quick to start fights, skirmishes and even join wars. That was probably why he felt no regret with this decision to challenge the immediate area’s strongest member.

But if he was so used to death, then why did he shake so much?

Dream finally left his friends behind to watch as he walked towards Tommy. The younger of the two swallowed his nerves and did his best to glare. The smiling mask stared him down. Was Dream glaring under there? Was he shaking within the loosely fit hoodie? Was he…

“Are you taking this seriously at all, Dream?”

“Oh, I don’t know. This seems pretty easy.”

Oh yeah, Tommy was killing him for sure. To hell with any sort of ‘honor’ that supposedly came with throwing away ones shot in a duel, Dream was officially a dead man.

“Remember, Tommy,” Dream stated with his usual calmness, “when I win, you give me the disk, Mellohi, and you all give up this silly tantrum for good.”

Tommy glared even harder as now he was angrier than ever. Dream was always after his music disks, his most prized possessions in this God forsaken land. Betting one of them was worth it if it meant seizing total and complete independence forever for this wonderful vision Wilbur had shared with him.

He thought briefly about the disks. About why they were so treasured by Dream and himself.

For Dream they were merely bargaining tools. Something he could use to keep Tommy under control and stop him from starting anymore fights with anymore members under Dreams thumb. The deal would be that if Tommy got involved in any sort of ‘griefing’ of any kind, Dream would burn the disks. Though, to be completely fair and honest, all of that had started with Sapnap burning an unrelated member's home and then dragging both of the now dueling men into the fight.

But for Tommy? These disks were everything. There was something nostalgic about the sound of music, as though there was something he had long forgotten from a time far behind him. It was incredibly rare where they lived to find such things and Tommy, Tommy had two of them. Each a different mixture of sounds that brought their own unique textures to his mind.

He was not about to throw away his shot.

A whisper entered his mind and he did his best to not give away who it was from. For someone to use this ability, one that made themselves freeze in place and become vulnerable, especially at a time like this, it was important. So he simply continued to glare at Dream.

‘There’s no turning back now, Tommy. Good luck out there. My right hand man.’

Tommy took a deep breath before yelling out as loud as he could. “LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOOOO!”

At the sound of yelling, Dream, Sapnap, George, Eret and even Tubbo - the only other member as young as the loud blonde child and one of their allies - all laughed. But the rest of his side? His makeshift army? They starred with an apathetic energy Tommy wasn’t sure what to feel about. All looked as though they had given up on this hopeless revolution. The humanoid fox and supposed child of the general, (it was unclear how serious he was of such a claim as it was never confirmed) Fundy, even went so far as to let out a sigh and shake his head.

He never was one to find such outbursts funny. It was as though he felt that Tommy treated this all as a simple game with no consequences. Yeah, he hadn’t experienced death nearly as many times as Tommy had, so maybe he did think more of it. 

Wilbur, however, was hardly monotone in his expression and voice. As he spoke his next line, he looked directly at Tommy for only a brief second with worry and, more importantly, sadness. Wilbur had also already given up but as Tommy thought over that look, he realized that Wilbur, the one who was always looking after him as though he were an older brother charged with watching over the youngest child, was apologizing for dragging him into this. For supposedly making Tommy experience the worst possible torture this crazy world had to offer over and over.

Death.

“Are both parties ready?” Wilbur had questioned. After that one look, he refused to even so much as glance at Tommy. The younger one understood. Wil could never help getting emotional in times like these, after all.

Tommy turned to look at his opponent and the damn man was putting on a show of yawning, hardly looking prepared. He really was that confident.

Tommy pointed an accusatory finger at the one who seemed to like to smile a bit too much and yelled out “Are you ready to experience death, Dream?! Cause I’m ready to cause it for you!”

Dream shrugged and stood straight, bow in hand at his side. “Let’s hurry and get this started.”

Wilbur, still not looking at Tommy and, more surprisingly, not saying anything about his outburst of a response, stated the rules of the duel.

Turn their backs to each other, count ten paces - no more, no less - and then fire on your opponent at will. The first to die wins the duel and the agreement.

Either Tommy loses one-half of his most prized possessions, or he gains independence for their nation.

The count began. Tommy thought about what it would be like to kill Dream like this. No tricks, no silly traps and no real plans from either of them. Just a single arrow making contact and he would be dead. It was almost unreal. He would be a hero and would be considered a total badass. Maybe everyone, both enemy and friend, would finally respect him.

The count hit four. His thoughts turned away from such happy fantasies. What if Dream wanted revenge? He never took losing very well. Rather, he took it harshly, and the Lord only knew what George would do to them in unofficial retaliation. Dream would probably lightly suggest George return the favor to Tommy in a whisper and then claim to wash his hands of the incident. Just for the satisfaction of showing power while keeping whatever peace they decide upon after all this.

The count hit seven. Tommy centered himself. Maybe it was a bad idea to allow himself to daydream at this time. He probably should’ve been scanning and studying the terrain thoroughly and thinking of how to use it to his advantage and of how the other could use it against him. Think of a plan or at least a vague idea of the literal millions if not infinite possibilities.

Like hell.

Tommy always thought of plans only when he was backed into a corner and even then he was well into a battle.

Dream was the one to come up with every possible outcome and choose one of nine where he won. Tommy refused to be like Dream.

The count hit ten.

Tommy turned quickly and fired. His arrow went off and almost hit Sapnap, someone who was once an ally, if only temporarily, in his and Dream’s initial war. Way further off his target than the young man was willing to accept.

There was no time to think and sit in denial of being such a terrible shot. No time to listen to Dreams lackies yell at him to be a better aim or watch Tubbo cover his eyes while Fundy simply shrugged as though expecting it. Dream’s first arrow went by his ear so fast he almost felt as though it could deafen him and the older of the two was already aiming his second shot while Tommy was stuck in disbelief.

Tommy quickly moved and jumped to avoid the arrow that he knew would hit him if he didn’t but instead of landing on the wooden path, he crashed into the water. The very lake - or was it a pond? - that served to decorate the land and create a nice scenic area to sit and enjoy time with friends around. Tommy had forgotten all about it just as everyone had probably predicted.

Just as Dream had predicted.

As no arrows came, Tommy figured that Dream was waiting for him to surface so he took the time to ponder on his decisions.

After all, there was no doubt they were coming to bite him in the ass. There was no chance of him getting out of the water and not getting shot to death by a single arrow from his worst enemy.

This was it.

He was going to die again.

How much would it hurt this time? How long would he be stuck in an area of nothingness as whatever God that created them formed a new body? Would he be able to see his friends, to see Wilbur, as they are forced to give away any hope of a special place they could call their own?

Would it be slow and torturous as his body reels from the pain or would it be instant and clean? He had no way of knowing any of these things. He had no way of knowing what this death would feel like as, in his experience, there was no rhyme or reason to any of it.

What would one day only sting for a bit as he was instantly brought back to life, would cause him to spasm and feel his heart stop and his lungs give up their air for what felt like hours. In that one case that comes to mind, to add insult to injury, he would be trapped in that plain area that was completely absent of light and life with no way to contact anyone he loved (or hated).

They all knew this.

They all agreed that the fear of what would happen as you see the attacks coming and you feel yourself growing weaker could only sometimes be worse than the experience itself.

Tommy felt torn by everything in a single moment. If they all knew this, then why did they fight in this war to begin with? Was it worth these moments of pure fear and terrible agony?

Whenever he would die he would return as though nothing ever happened despite his true thoughts and experience. He was not one to talk about things like ‘feelings’ or ‘emotions’. That was something for women and only women. No matter how much Wilbur would try to encourage him to be more open like Tubbo, Tommy was a man. And he was always fighting to prove it.

Yes.

He may be positive he’ll lose. He may be certain there is no chance of winning this duel, but Tommy made a decision in that moment as he swam to the other side of the path.

He was going to die but he’d be damned if he let himself be the cause of Wilbur’s hopes in the form of their very own L’Manberg crashing down forever and for good.

First, he had to make it look good so no one else would suspect what he had hiding in the deepest part of his mind. An actual plan.

He jumped from the lake and pointed his arrow directly at the mask and right between the eyes but before he could fire, he was hit.

Ah. This one was going to hurt.

[palepinkycat]

OC Playlist

To everyone who tagged me - I swear, I didn't forget or ignore you, my life is simply a mess lol

Tagged by @mimabeann and @sleepswithvillains, thank you, I've had so much fun creating this playlist!  I'm gonna post the 2nd part soon.

This one's for - surprise, surprise - Cithar ☻ 

On behalf of Taral, I’m asking you NOT to give Cithar a radio. Leaving the Alliance was painful enough, please, don’t let him listen to sad songs.

His intro theme: Grá by Warduna!!! It IS his song! I mean, the lyrics, oh boy... I have SO MANY thoughts after reading the lyrics... I feel like this is something Cithar would like to tell Aivela and his friends/followers if he ever had a chance to speak to them one last time. It would be both a promise and an apology. So much angst in this one lol

Your song stirs something deep within

Like chords pulling straight from memory

I can’t find the words, they still remain veiled

Yet I know it is old, I know that it’s forgotten

I remember when you roamed freely

I remember when we roamed together

I remember us before our paths got separated

I remember the ring before it broke

[...]

You may run to my forests

Roam freely in my mountains

Lead your pack to my valleys

Let us restore the ring

I shall sing you safe on your way

I shall sing you safely home

His boss battle theme: Ah yes, more angst. Boss battle, huh? You mean him fighting a boss or him being the boss, huh? Anyways, Pride by Manchester Orchestra toatally suits both options.

Finally I felt the calming breeze

Stepping out to watch the final scene

After all it's you, my pride, and me

I can't speak whatever I can speak

You see

Now I found the way to meet the means

Faker face to make the kingdom clean

After all it's me, and the king, and the beast

Whatever whatever I can't speak

A thing

His love song: So I guess I should find two songs - one for him and Aivela and the second for him and Mara. Sooo Sarah by Alex G for Cithar x Mara where Sarah = Mara?

I can't be

What you need

I am stuck in a dream

[...]

Every day

I'll make promises that plague

Sarah's heart

So I can watch her fall apart

'Cause I know

When I break her down

We'll spit on all the happy clowns

That live around this sunny town

She loves me like a dog

And when we mess around

I'll let her know the truth I found

In my own hopeless hate

And every time I wake

I second guess the game I played

Did I make a mistake?

Yes, you did ☻

And for Cithar x Aivela - I was specifically looking for a song with some ballad/medieval mood when I came across The Song of Seven Sorrows from the Kingkiller Chronicles. Now, I've never read the book so I don't really know the lore but no other song from my playlist depicts their story so well. Assuming Lyra = Aivela, Lanre = Cithar, Selitos = Izax - or basically the whole Pantheon, they all hate him lol - and Myr Tariniel = Medriaas/Nathema

Our hero of songs and stories untold

He fought not for glory, nor silver nor gold

He killed for the hands that held his heart

For Lyra, who loved him till death did them part

[...]

But Death is a tyrant who won't be denied

Lyra she faded, she paled and she died

Her fate left unknown to we who remain

Its consequence etched in misery and pain

Unable to die, to forget or to sleep

Lanre was driven to madness and grief

Myr Tariniel burned by his hand

A mercy to the people of that wretched land

Selitos roared and he clawed at his eyes

Frenzied by pride, he cursed the skies:

"Lanre you traitor, cursed be thy name,

May you live always in the shadow and shame!"

Our hero of songs and stories untold

Now wanders these roads, alone in the cold

He dreams of the hands that held his heart

Of Lyra, who loved him till death did them part

Sorry for all my calculations 🤠

His sad times song: Oh, the sad times. Who Killed Mr. Moonlight by Bauhaus

A broken arrow in a bloody pool

The wound in the face

Of midnight proposals

Someone shot nostalgia in the back

Someone shot our innocence

In the shadow of his smile

[...]

All our dreams have melted down

We are hiding in the bushes

[...]

All our stories burnt

Our films lost in the rushes

We can't paint any pictures

As the moon had all our brushes

OR Kingdom's Coming , also by Bauhaus

Madness in the wind's got something to say

It ripped you apart

It will always be that way

It said kingdom's coming, causes chaos

Will cut to pieces the film you saw today

It's your big bad secret

Your crown of thorns

Can't take it easy, you can't turn back

The sky will open soon, could be today­

Forget your bastard ego, get it off your back

[...]

You want it all, but it's on the run

A song that reminds him of a better time: Times with Aivela, huh? 👀

The Stable Song by Gregory Alan Isakov

Remember when our songs were just like prayers

Like gospel hymns that you caught in the air?

Come down, come down sweet reverence

Unto my simple house and ring

And ring

Also, I just couldn't skip that part, it's soooo fitting

Now I've been crazy couldn't you tell

I threw stones at the stars, but the whole sky fell

He should get it tattooed on his stupid forehead so that in the future, everyone will be able to tell.

A song that calms him down: Y'all probably noticed but it really bothers me that the OLD Republic era is basically the same as the prequel/sequel era 626271182772 years later. So I pretty much headacanon it to be more of a Star Wars middle ages, like a mix of Vikings, LOTR and Game of Thrones lol Besides, Cithar is a character from my Dragon Age/Star Wars crossover soo if we're not talking about lyrics that describe him but instead about songs he'd actually listen to, I think it'd be some traditional Sith music he'd stumble upon while wandering among the common folk on Medriaas. Something that reminds him of home. As much as he hated its corruption, there were many things he loved. I imagine it would sound similiar to Sacrifice by Sharon Lyons.

A song that gets him hyped up: What's a better song to start a rebellion to than Svanrand by Heilung???

*No lyrics this time since it's just a list of names of valkyries, but imagine ancient sith reciting the names of their gods before entering a battle??? 👀*

A song that fits his aesthetic: Music that fits his aesthetic - Postaci by Dzivia

And lyrics that fit his aesthetic - The Sound of Silence by Simon & Garfunkel

In restless dreams I walked alone

Narrow streets of cobblestone

'Neath the halo of a street lamp

I turned my collar to the cold and damp

When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light

That split the night

And touched the sound of silence

And in the naked light I saw

Ten thousand people, maybe more

People talking without speaking

People hearing without listening

People writing songs that voices never share

And no one dared

Disturb the sound of silence

"Fools, " said I, "You do not know

Silence, like a cancer, grows

Hear my words that I might teach you

Take my arms that I might reach you"

But my words, like silent raindrops fell

And echoed in the wells, of silence

His own favorite song: The same as the one that calms him down.

The song that plays at his funeral: Would there even be one? Helvegen by Warduna

Who will sing me

Into the death-sleep sling me

When I walk the road to Hel

And the tracks I tread

Are cold, so cold

[...]

You will be free from the bonds that bind you

You are free from the bonds that bound you

[sailorshadzter]

Prompt: Ancient! Rome AU: After the Starks were branded as traitors Sansa becomes a political hostage of emperor Joffrey and is expected to marry him, however her hatred for him increases each passing day as he forces her to watch the gory executions of her people in form of gladiator fights. One day a new gladiator enters the coliseum: it's Jon

id like to start out by saying i KNOW NOTHING of this time period LOL

but its always been a time period ive been interested in and someday when im not so obsessed with the tudor era in england, ill read about something else. tbh i kind of want to get some more info because as ive finished writing this piece, im entertaining the idea of continuing it. maybe just a part 2 because i have another idea! 

ANYWAYS. thanks for the request. i hope you enjoy :)  

ps. its set with the backstory of jon being a stark/targ, but rather than being raised among the starks, he’s raised among the night’s watch. 

send me prompts

Another day, another summons to join Joffrey in the stadium.

Sansa sighs but does her best to smile for the man in her doorway, for she knows any sense of displeasure would be told to the emperor without hesitation. The man, seemingly satisfied with her response, bows and backs out from the room, allowing the door to slam closed behind.

When she's alone, all of the fight leaves her and she sinks into the nearest chair, head in hands. Yet another day where she's to be forced to witness the gruesome violence that is the gladiator colosseum. Every drop of blood is a reminder of her father's execution, every hour spent in the crowd only more fuel for her nightmares. "My lady... perhaps you are feeling unwell this morning?" It's Shae, her ever loyal handmaiden, prompting her with an excuse she might use to get out of the day's events. But Sansa smiles for her lady and shakes her head, instead rising up from the chair. She is braver than that, than running away from what frightens her.

She might yet be betrothed to a tyrant, chained to a family that had the rest of her's murdered in cold blood... But she was a Stark, through and through, and though she was so very far from the North, she could feel the strength that her home offered. I am a Stark, she thinks as Shae begins to undress her from her nightgown, I am strong because I am a Stark.

She was a Stark and so she would be brave.

[ x x x ]

He can hear the crowd shouting, screaming, gasping.

The horror of it all, this gladiator colosseum , even for a seasoned soldier such as himself is tough to take. He's heard of it of course, even way up North in the midst of the Night's Watch, they know some of what goes on in the South. He's heard the rumors of the mad ruler Joffrey, who prefers violence to peace, who abuses the lowest of servants and most noble of knights. There is no one who is immune to the emperor's temper- save for maybe his mother, the golden haired Lannister queen who ruled alongside his father for many of the last twenty years.

Suddenly, the crowd is roaring and Jon feels his stomach turn over. A moment later, the door that leads out into the stadium flies open and before anyone can speak, he knows what's happening. "Your turn." A gruff voice says a moment before he's shoved out the door and into the sunlight.

All around him, eyes are staring down at him; they scream and they stomp their feet, eager to see the blood bath continue on. In front of him, Jon meets gazes with his opponent, an undefeated mountain of a man, who's chest is smeared with blood that is most certainly not his own. Jon gulps. He's skilled enough of a fighter, but against this brute seems impossible. And from the state of the battefield, from the rumors of this man's strength... Jon has to wonder if this will be his end. After everything he's seen, after everything that he's done... This is where it all will come to and end.

From where she sits beside Joffrey in the emperor's box, Sansa sees the newest recruit come out into the stadium center. Her breath catches in her throat- she's seen hair like that before and it certainly wasn't there in the South. Beside Joffrey, ser Merryn leans in to speak to him. "From the North," he says, shooting a sidelong glance at the young woman seated beside the emperor. Sure enough, as Sansa had thought, this was a man from the North, from her home. But how, she wonders, watching the man as he squares up in front of Joffrey's champion, the Mountain, how has a Northern man ended up here?

"Ah, one of those black crows, eh?" Joffrey asks, green eyes flashing with danger in the sunlight. "Do you know him, sweet lady?" His eyes are upon her instead and for a moment, she freezes. "He looks like your traitor father." Joffrey goes on, gesturing towards the gladiator that now raises a sword as the battle prepares to begin. "But all your traitor brothers are dead, so I imagine it's just another piss poor criminal from Wintertown." Joffrey turns away from her then, back to facing the fight that's just begun.

[ x x x ]

One more swing, one more!

He's pushing himself, harder and further than he's ever pushed himself before. For the first time in all his life, he's thankful for his short stature, giving him ample opportunity over the beast of a man he's facing. Where the man is slow, Jon is quick. His agile movements are too much for him and Jon knows by the end of the third round that if he gets the right chance, he might actually survive.

Now it's the sixth round and Jon knows the final moment must come.

And so he puts it all into this last swing- a quick upper cut movement that catches the Mountain off guard- and for the several moments after he lands back on his feet, Jon isn't certain he's managed to pull it off. But then he glances at his sword- it's stained crimson and dripping. Behind him, he hears the man stagger and then, the crowd goes silent as he falls to his knees and then to the ground. Dead.

Then... The crowd erupts.

[ x x x ]

It's no more than a few minutes when he's approached by the man in charge of the gladiators and another man, well dressed and fair-haired. "You, boy." The gladiator barks, catching Jon's attention where he stands, mid-wiping the blood from his hands. "Come with us."

"To where?" Jon asks, dark gaze sharper than his voice. "I was told if I won I would have my freedom back." He only longs to return North, to find Ghost and live out his days in a place where no one might ever find him.

"And your freedom you shall have," the second man speaks, his green eyes bright in the sunlight that streams in through the nearby open window. "As winner in the stadium, you have the great honor of meeting our emperor." He continues, gesturing for him to take a left down the corridor and towards a door that leads up a set up stairs, which sure enough as he climbs up them Jon can hear the emperor's harsh laughter.

Stepping through the doorway, Jon is lead across the way to where the emperor sits, but it is not the man that catches Jon's interest first. Rather, it is a young woman with hair a shade of vibrant red that seems quite out of sorts among these blonde and brunette southerners. He's seen that shade of hair color before, a Tully born boy who had once joined the ranks of the Night's Watch had hair of the same shade. But beyond the color of her hair... She was beautiful. So beautiful that when she turns to face him, the breath is stolen from his lungs. Her eyes are clear and blue, but lovely as they might be, he finds their gaze to be sad, the eyes of a woman lost.

"So you've defeated my champion."

The sharp voice belongs to the emperor, who Jon has quite honestly forgotten was there. He turns to face the man instead, though he's hesitant to tear his gaze from the lovely woman at his side. "Aye, so I have." Jon replies, lifting his shoulders in a slight shrug. "It was that or die. I preferred the first option." For a second, there is only silence, until Joffrey lets out a laugh that startles those around them.

"A jester are you, crow?" Joffrey takes a step closer to where Jon stands and it's only then that Jon notices the striking resemblance between him and the man that had led him up to where he stands now. "You would make a far better champion." Now Jon knows where this is going. "I can make you a wealthy man, far wealthier than your meager coins made in the ranks of the crows." He's offering him a choice- to stay and be his new champion of the gladiator colosseum , or... "Or you may go, it is the law of the colosseum and I am a man of my word." Beside him, the young woman flinches, but it is so quick that Jon is certain he's the only one who's noticed. "But be my champion, I will give you all the wealth you could dream of."

For what feels like a lifetime, Jon stands there, silent and still. Only moments ago, his answer had been strong, had been absolute. But now that he stands there in the presence of this young woman, something is nagging at him. Something about her is calling out to him and despite it all, he wants to heed her call. He doesn't even know her name, but with that single glance, she's set fire to his heart and soul.

And so, he nods; he will be the emperor's new champion.

[imagine-otome-games]

Distance [Victor MLQC]

Pairing: Victor x Female!Reader [1st & 3rd Pov]

Warnings: Cursing, angst etc

A/N: I just started playing this game, so bare with me if this sucks. I got insp from reading a fic from @otonymous. That I Miss You call in your fic made the angst in me go apeshit fghjkl also im not sorry... also this is hella short lol

You were supposed to be sleeping. It was sometime past three a.m and you had work first thing in the morning- hell, if anything, you were supposed to be finishing up a report. One he’d requested in that often aggravating tone. He should irritate you- should get you frustrated and angry- and he did. However, he also made your heart race. By some insane means, the cold tyrant of a CEO had caught your attention. At first you were.. Somewhat okay with it. You assumed it was a fleeting thing and that soon you could look back on it and laugh. Quickly, you realized how that wasn’t happening. Instead of the feelings dying off, they grew. Day by day you’d see more bits of him in the short meetings after the investment in your studio. You learned how he could be soft- how he could be caring. He’d just snap back so quickly, you wondered if those moments were dreams- tricks of your mind. It’d make sense.

How could such a man ever have a soft side?

How could you allow yourself to fall for someone so.. him? Someone so cold and frustrating- so distant and sometimes bitter? Many were aware of his looks, but not even those could save him from the absolute mountain of negative views on him. So why? Why bother- why allow him to break you so? At such an ungodly hour of the night, where only the grieving or the sad were alive. When most people were sound asleep, peacefully so.

“I miss you..”

His voice had been so soft- so warming and lovely. It drew you in, until you realized it wasn’t meant for you. Why would he miss you? You of all people, while he was off in another country? Invited to some modeling show because his company owned part of it and.. A model he knew well was there?

You remembered her well. Chik. Gorgeous- perfect tiny waisted brunette. Perfect make-up. Perfect outfits- she was a goddamn model and you.. You just weren’t. It was hard to not compare yourself- especially when first meeting her, it obviously looked like there was something there. They’d fit beautifully. Like two picture perfect puzzle pieces. A Star Model and a handsome CEO. Better than some random small studio owner and a big shot CEO.

You didn’t have perfectly fitted outfits or a taste for harsh expensive alcohol. You couldn’t drop everything and go to France or Italy- so this call? This lovely feeling? It was bitter- it tasted like bile had just risen up into your mouth.

“You have the wrong number.”, you replied bitterly, “Its two in the damn morning my time, pay attention.”

He seemed to grumble something on the other end, and then hung up, leaving you in your current state. You lay limp against your bed, phone still clasped in your hand, gripping it to will the sting in your eyes away. The side of your face was pressed against your pillow, which was now uncomfortably hot. You lay on your stomach, unmoving. Sometimes your eyes flicked over to your phone- and then you’d curse to yourself as you pulled them away. What were you expecting? Him to call? To say he had the right number all along? As if..

Such a sweet voice was not meant for you. Not when all this time articles were slowly but surely swirling around him and this amazing model. Picture perfect. Beautifully strung together. She was probably in his arms most nights, right were longed to be. With him in a way you hated that you craved.

Victor was not yours, and he would never be..

You realized this first thing in the morning, standing in his office as he scolded you for turning in an unfinished report. His blunt, harsh words bit into you more than normal. Atrocious this, horrible that, foolish this… Exhaustion was already set deep into your bones, and so was the heartache. That eversweet ‘I miss you..’ still lingered in the back of your mind, and you wondered what it might take to be given that? To deserve it- to have it be real?

“Are you even listening?”, he lets out a frustrated noise, “You’ve always been preaching about how hard you’ll work and yet you dare to give me unfinished work-”

“I heard you. I’m listening- look, as much as I’d love to stay here and have you berate me for the rest of the morning while I’m dangerously decaffeinated, I can’t. I have more work on top of what you’ve asked, and you’re home now.”, you say, tone turning sour towards the end, “I’m sure you’ve got someone to see.”

With that, you turn on your heel and somehow manage to not bolt out of the room. You wait till you’re out of the building to just make a mad dash for it. Not caring if anyone saw you or recognized you. You needed the wind to whip past your face- to dry any tears that dared to betray you. You would not cry, it was useless. You’d be damned if you shed a single tear for a man like that.

Yet, somehow, they still fell, only to be brushed away by the comfort of the wind.

Up high, he sat still in his chair. He hated how she looked- hated how somehow he managed to royally fuck up every chance he got. It was like some gruesome internal war. He wanted her near- then far, then couldn’t bare her absence and pulled her in- but he could never express it right. In dragging her back to him, he pushed her away again. One step forward, ten steps back. Another forward, twenty back. Pull- shove, pull.. shove. The show had been boring- he’d drank far too much and she was way too far. Her scent didn’t linger- her cute little comebacks had grown few and far in between- as if something was grating on her, and he feared it was him. Feared he was being too harsh- feared she regretted ever knowing him.

“I miss you..”, he’d breathed, soft and genuine- true.

Her response, he felt he deserved.

The look she gave him the following morning, he felt he deserved. The cold shoulder, the glazed over look from exhaustion and.. something else. What was that look- what- and then she was gone. Hours later and she still wouldn’t answer the phone or read his texts.

Yet again, he found himself awake, at the worst of times, and reaching for her.

“I miss you..”

“... Stop. Stop doing this to me..” Click.

Oh- that burned- why did that burn- what was that tone? He’d never heard someone so broken. Never in all his years of being harsh to awful possible investments, had heard such a defeated tone. So broken and so small.. was that really you?

What have I done now?, he wondered..

He’d never get an answer, just more distance, until you were completely unreachable, as he always had been..

[deanky]

Here are some little like ‘reviews’ of all the Oingo Boingo albums... Under cut LOL... I just like to talk about Oingo Boingo I am so obsessed right now they have become tied for Mr. Bungle as favorite band... But anyways... Hope you enjoy ^_^

Only a Lad: Very fun sound as a whole. I enjoy how like poppy and synthy it is and stuff and that one weird electronic voice Mr. Elf man does in like every song. I remember like actually not liking most of the songs first time I heard it and I’m not sure why because I enjoy 9/10 out of them a lot now... But then again I like almost never really like an album the first time I hear it LOL I have a mean soul. A lot of the songs have pretty evil words in them but I have like slight respect for how much hatred Danny Elfman seems to have had for everyone on the entire planet at the time of writing. And for the majority of songs I cannot really complain about because I think it fits theme of like very happy sounding song but nasty words in it duality of man and such. Only one I really do not like is Capitalism because it has the whiniest lyrics of all and also it just does not sound good like as a song I think I am sorry. I must say it. Forgive me. I was so thrilled hearing Nasty Habits for the first time because I really like songs that sound like a homosexual cartoon villain would sing them to you. Well that’s all. Only a Lad itself was one of the first songs of theirs I heard except sped up and it had a picture of anime Bart Simpson on it. I like it. Good song. Recently I cannot stop getting it and Little Girls stuck in my head. That’s all

Nothing to Fear: Everything about this album is sooooo sooo good it is like so incredibly catered specifically to my tastes. One of the few albums I have loved immediately as soon as I heard I finished listening for the first time and was immediately like oh this is going in my favorites. I add some points also for absolutely incredible beautiful cover art it’s got weird colors weird animals logo made of worm things it’s so beautiful it makes me want to cry.  I think it gets SLIGHTLY weaker in its second half but that is hard not to do with albums. That said though a lot of songs that I felt were slightly worse at first have risen to being my favorites of the album like Why’d We Come and Reptiles and Samurai. Didn’t know what to think about Running on a Treadmill at first but I think it works very well in its simplicity and it is very catchy I can imagine people like singing it on actual treadmill and like jumping around abd being in zero gravity for some reason it is like that music video where they are in the plane but it is treadmills. Well, hi. The only ones that feel like slightly slightly worse to me are Whole Day Off and Islands but I think I am growing to like both of those a lot more too. My favorites though are Grey Matter and Insects and Wild Sex and also Nothing to Fear the titular song and Why’d We Come and Reptiles and Samurai which is over half of the songs so I think that’s good.  I remember listening to Private Life like 5 times before listening to the rest of the album but I always forgot how it went immediately after not sure why because I’d say it is a reasonably catchy song. Anyways INCREDIBLE album. Rude lyrics? Still a thing but tend to be much more agreeable like it is obvious who is being made fun of in like Grey Matter and Nothing to Fear and I say the fun making is well deserved! Even though I may be the target of Grey Matter I understand and I am sorry. The general sound is also amazing I LOVE all the weird noises and metal stuff and clanks and clonks and all the xylophone. Dude the xylophone is so good. Synth and xylophone and guitar they are all best friends and they sound so cool together and I think xylophones should be more widely used in like “pop” music as a whole whatever that defines. I keep wanting to start a band and just play xylophone. Like what’s anybody gonna do to stop me? I love xylophone. That’s all

Good for Your Soul: I wasn’t so impressed by this one the first time I heard it but it quickly wormed its way up to a very close #2 and possibly even tied with Nothing to Fear as my favorite album of theirs. The album art on this one is also really good I will say! I felt like slightly let down at first by it just because it’s so hard to live up to how beautiful of a cover Nothing to Fear has in my mind. But its art is so cool too. Muscle man in wobbly world. What’s more to love (Side note I enjoy the song Wobbly World it is not an Oingo Boingo song it is by Devo I should listen to more Devo.) The first time I listened the only songs that REALLY jumped out at me super hard were No Spill Blood and Fill the Void, and I think those 2 are still tied as my favorites. I LOVE the whole like rhythm No Spill Blood has going on and the weird animal noises and also the lyrics they are not about Animal Farm they are about The Island of Dr. Moreau he did those surgeries don’t you know he made the animals have to be men and they were like are we not men but they didn’t say they were Devo sorry I keep talking about Devo in this Oingo Boingo album review. And BTW Fill the Void also is really great and has possibly my favorite set of lyrics in any song ever to exist which is the part like “Every little thing is a piece of a larger thing / Every little fish is a tyrant of the sea / Every little atom is a master of his family / Every single piece calls my name / What do they want from me?” It is so good it makes me go so insane I love it. Another song that works really well in just being a simple thing.  It is so nice and cool it feels like being in space and you are in one of the levels of one of those Kirby spinoff games where he’s like a ball and you’re rolling him around NOT Canvas Curse the other ones like Dream Course I think. Anyways though while I wasn’t super big on all the other songs they ended up like slowly coming back into my head one by one until I was obsessed with all of them. First it was Pictures of You. Then it was Nothing Bad Ever Happens to Me (would put that in my top 3 as well) and then Dead or Alive and then Little Guns and then Cry of the Vatos and then Wake Up It’s 1984 and then Sweat and then the titular song AND Who Do You Want to Be it was like. Wow. What a world.  WDYWTB + Good for Your Soul + Sweat were the 3 that didn’t really do it for me as much for a while but now I’ve been really enjoying them too so I think I can say I love every single song on this album. It is becoming my best friend. It’s sooo good. It feels like living in one of those fake Utopian cities and there’s actually something sinister going on behind the scenes. Like I will start seeing colors and freaking about it any time soon. Random memory that unlocked in me is that I used to be incredibly obsessed with The Book Thief and its concept of death when I was in like 6th or 7th grade like uncannily so but I never talked about the book ever I just hid it away in my mind. My sad story. Sorry everyone. That’s all

So-Lo: This one is technically just Danny Elfman but you know it is an Oingo Boingo album man they got the whole band there they were just having licensing issues because new label and stuff is my understanding. And they were like. Well let’s take advantage of this and do some less standard Oingo Boingo songs. That is how I grasp this situation I don’t know how correct I am her I actually don’t know that much about O.B. outside of the songs at this point I still cannot name any non-Danny Elfman member and I am really sorry for this and must learn to atone for my ways. This is a good album though. Once again has really good cover art I will say.  It’s like well hello there Mr. Elf man you’ve got some eyes sliding off your face and some funny colors and are controlling some little puppet things maybe it’s like you do you man LOL am I right or am I right! I like this album. This was yet another one where I listened the first time and was like. Man I’m not really feeling it with any of these songs. However I do enjoy that they all sound kind of like they were recorded on a Sega Genesis. I mean it does have very Genesis-y noises I know this was the 80s and it would be more accurate to say the Sega Genesis soudns like this album but you know what I mean. Anyways nothing grabbed me at first but upon my second listen I became extremely obsessed with the song “Go Away” and then listened to it on repeat for 2 hours straight and it still hasn’t got old for me I still like it very good song. Definitely my favorite. Tied with Everybody Needs which is also a very fun song I became similarly enamored with like a day later but didn’t listen to quite as much LOL. But anyways I went through that oh-so-familiar process which I must warn you is also the process I go through for every single album after this! - Where all the other songs started worming their way into my head and I was like oh brother I am beginnign to like them all now! Good for Your Soul, I think, marked like more obvious change from songs tending to be like “This is what Danny Elfman thinks of the world phrased in a humorous way” to more like actual stories and stuff, although the former wasn’t rid of entirely and the latter hadn’t just popped up or anything. But I think this album continued that in a really nice way and while it can be vague, listening to it I always feel that there is like one solid story all the song narratives go throughout. Someone pointed out in like Youtube Comments that Go Away feels like the sadder side of Cool City and to me it feels like the whole album is kind of in that vein. Seems to me like all the songs are in the Cool City itself and you’re seeing like the various different horrible things that go on in that town and horrible people that live in it. Yknow? Like Tough as Nails and Everybody Needs make me think of like various awful weird a$$ holbs living there and then stuff like Sucker for Mystery and Lightning and It Only Makes Me Laugh. Well they are clearly from the perspectives of some guy. The same guy? Maybe maybe not I don’t feel like they are the same guy. But it feels like they are like experiencing weird horrible sh*t in this horrible town that is filled with racists but also gay people. I like this album I enjoy it

Dead Man’s Party: OK I am sorry to say. This is a good album but it hasn’t COMPLETELY grown on me yet. But I DO like it a lot. I enjoy it it’s good. I really really love Just Another Day and the titular song and Heard Somebody Cry and Nobody Lives Forever and Weird Science which is over half of them so not bad all things considered. And I do not DISLIKE any songs. But the other ones haven’t quite grown on me yet. This album does kind of shift into like the more commercial stuff it’s not like generic pop or nothing. But it is like slightly strange to get used to. That said. The songs I like I REALLY like thye are so good. No One Lives Forever is an incredible incredible song just like Nasty Habits it fulfills my love of songs that sound like they are being sung by evil guys in cartoons but are not they’re actually being sung by Danny Elfman who is an evil guy in real life. Sorry I didn’t mean it he probably is not that evil I’m sure he’s perfectly nice Mr. Elf man if you are reading this I apologize. Anyways though. I like the general sound of this album I will say! I think though it has thing going on where like, in my mind, some of the songs feel like way too happy and overly peppy almost like mocking. I have a weird mind and a weird way of processing things and I am also incredibly afraid of everything on this planet so keep that in mind BTW I am sorry. But like Stay and Fool’s Paradise and Help Me and Same Man I was Before all have that kind of feeling to me, it’s like these are so cheerful and cheesy sounding to me it kind of scares me a little bit. However... I am starting to feel this less with Help me and Stay, and also I felt this a little bit with Heard Somebody Cry at first as well and I no longer do. So maybe I’m still going through the motions of song-liking as I do.  As I said though the favorites on here are incredible. Weird Science may have been written for strange movie deal and they may be really saddened by its memory or maybe just the music video’s memory but it’s a very fun song nevertheless. Dead Man’s Party itself it really fun true classic. Very orange song to me. It’s orange and purple like I hear it and I am like ah yes I am experiencing orange and purple. Very nice shades of orange and purple though, and they are mixing together in pleasing ways and throwing a big party and everyone’s invited you might even say it’s a dead man’s party heh heh heh (grins devilishly). I think this like takes the kind of narratives in Good for Your Soul and So-Lo and like takes it to best form! In that it has a very clear yet not super specific narrative going on throughout the whole album, I really like whenever an album has songs set up so pleasingly and nice like that it makes me sad when they’re just like in random order. But of course this album is all about death and accepting it and stuff and like all the different feelings of sadness and happiness and stuff that all go into it! And I like its message a lot, like obviously you shouldn’t want to die but don’t fear it. It has a very nice depiction of the afterlife. I like all the stuff in Beetlejuice and Corpse Bride with their similar interpretations too although Beetlejuice isn’t quite as positive about it LOL. I want to watch Corpse Bride again. I want to see another singing Danny Elfman skeleton. I want to see the Peter Lorre worm. My one complaint with the album narrative is that Weird Science goes at the end it kinda ruins the whole story a little bit but I can’t fault them because like where COULD they put it?  I think it might work kind of well as the first song because like trying to make frankenstein guy before all the accepting death stuff makes sense. But also. It would be a weird opener. Also the album art is so incredible I love it I want to join their party it’s beautiful. I did not mean for this review to get as long as it did. They just keep getting longer each album I’m sorry the length does not show my opinion but I just keep getting more excited each album

Boi-Ngo: Will admit this one is my least favorite. And once again my bias shows because it has cover art I don’t like very much. It’s just real guys looking at you. Where’s the funny Oingo Boingo touch where’s the charm people!??!? it makes me sad. And also, as a whole, while I DO like most of the songs I feel like I don’t like them as much as I like any of the ones on other albums, and it also has my least favorite song I’ve heard other than Capitalism which is We Close Our Eyes sorry I’ve seen a lot of people who really like that one but it just scares me. It feels so insincere to me it makes me feel that thing once more where it’s like this song is waaayyy to happy and peppy to not feel like it’s kind of sinister deep down. I apologize. It is a fun album however! I think it kind of goes back more to “Danny Elfman’s humorous observations about life”, which is not always a bad thing, but it seems to revert a little bit too much back to like him just being kind of whiny and not making much of a point in like, say, New Generation. Although it is a nice song I think! It scares me when he goes like now he’s got you by the balls. I understand the point of that lyric. But it frightens me.  I think my favorites are Home Again, Elevator Man, Not My Slave (although lyrics feel like slightly concerning), Outrageous, and Pain. Which once again is more than half the album so shows what I know complaining about it this whole time. 

Dark at the End of the Tunnel: I feel bad for this album because before listening to it I always forgot it existed, like I listened to Boi-Ngo and was like aw man I only have one album left! Oh wait nevermind I have 2. And now I keep fearing there’s another one I forgot not including like the live albums and singles stuff. Maybe there is.... haunting me But anyways... I already did like incomprehensible post talking about this one earlier LOL which inspired me to do more equally incomprehensible things on all the other albums hence this post. So I’ve already said a lot of what I have to say about this and hope not to repeat it too much... but... LOL I was so afraid wondering if I would actually like this one or not... I wanted to just because of how awesome the cover art is. And I was afraid because I wasn’t really a big fan of most of the songs at first. But I think with this album and the whole Boingo era they were moving towards like more orchestral stuff and changing their sound and all... So it was a bit strange to get used to at first but the more I listened the more I enjoyed everything I guess like taking in all the instruments and textures and what not. A lot of the songs in this one also feel like kind of creepily cheery but I think it works best for this album specifically, because as I’ve said before it feels very intentional - there is like whole dual thing of more dark mysterious sections and light-hearted happy sections in most of the songs. Although my top 3 are all songs that mostly just have the former going on... Right to Know, Long Breakdown, and Run Away.  I also really enjoy When the Lights Go Out, Skin, Out of Control (though it still feels like vaguely scary to me LOL), and Glory Be... But I keep finding myself getting all the others stuck in my head as well. So still growing on me LOL! I am beginning to appreciate all the other songs more for those cheerier parts as well yknow... I think this whole album has a very fantastical vibe to it LOL but definitely like, a very old fantasy. Like they discovered this album in a giant wizard’s tower like ten thousand years ago and now it’s been unearthed again. But it was created by a child wizard who was like 5 years old. But still had a wizard beard. That’s the guy on the cover I’ve decided. Little wizard from long ago.  However... It does feel like it’s kind of setting up something. Like all the songs do... whole album is good but feels like it’s kind of a preparation for the next one. Which doesn’t make it bad! Just like I feel like it’s kind of part of a set... Incomplete on its own yknow? I would probably rank it in my lower 4 of all the albums but I’ll still say I enjoyed it quite a bit, that is no insult. And I like wizards

Boingo: This album is SO good dude. I’m glad this is what they left off on. Really great finishing album... I have a weird timeline involving this one because it was actually the first album I listened to, my dad showed it to me, but I only ever listened up to Lost Like This before very recently and by recently I mean today and I am still listening to Changes for the first time as I write this which is probably a bad idea but I am doing it anyways. Anyways though... The first O.B. songs my dad showed to me ever were Insanity from this album and Dead Man’s Party the song, and despite how different their two sources are they both have extremely similar structure I think. And so I kind of painted this picture of like all Oingo Boingo songs being similarly structured around 6-7 minutes and mostly repeating the same different sections in slightly different ways. And I am pleased that this album kind of fulfills that - a lot of the songs are like 2-3x longer than they really need to be but I enjoy that because I love long songs.  As I mentioned earlier, DatEotT feels like it’s just the beginning of something, and this provides a very satisfying ‘second half’. I think it works well by itself too, though! Boingo marks such a big change musically from everything else before even DatEoT but it somehow stays very true to their old spirit anyways.. But everything feels so much grander and I really like it. Almost every song has a pretty wistful melancholy feel but at the same time ALSO almost every song but like a different set of almost every song is very big and bombastic. So it definitely has that “well this is our last album goodbye” feel to it. But it’s OK. It’s like a big grand finale. If there was a like an Oingo Boingo musical that had every single song for some reason and lasted like 10 hours I feel like the other albums could be switched around the whole thing regardless of their actual releases, but this one would HAVE to be last. Adding to that, I feel like it really like takes a lot of the earlier concepts I’ve liked a lot in previous albums and had them return. Like So-Lo, many of the songs have pretty different narratives, but all feel like they can be one loose intertwined thing. Pedestrian Wolves and Lost Like This definitely feel connected for one... and like Insanity and Changes provide like nice bookends where the first is like analyzing the world around us and then the second is analyzing the self. Side note. Danny Elfman is always referring to himself as stupid in Oingo Boingo songs. And sometimes it’s just like PoV character or something. But it ticks me off a little bit because he is like clearly not stupid he is like a crazy evil genius.  But ALSO I’m not really sure what exactly the whole story of Boingo is, but it just feels connected in some sort of mysterious way yknow? Maybe it will appear to me later... If Dark at the End of the Tunnel was created by a little five year old wizard ten thousand years ago, this was created by the same wizard when he was reaching the end of his life and was in the wizard’s nursing home in like the 1920s. It still feels like mildly aged, there is SOMETHING about it that feels like it’s meant to be played on like an extremely old awful record player, but it has a much more modern feeling. It almost feels like another interpretation of the afterlife... Maybe that more Beetlejuice kind where it’s just like real life at first but if you peek around the corner you’ll find all the weird sandworms and colorful ghosts and stuff. Anyways though. This album is so good. Not my favorite right now, but definitely in top 3, like at the moment of writing this I would say. #1 is Nothing to Fear. #2 is Good for Your Soul. #3 is Boingo. But I am loving it soooo much on my first actual full listen even though I’ve had time to like absorb half the songs already admittedly. So it might end up being my favorite after all! I think my 3 favorite tracks also on this are Insanity, Lost Like This, and Hey!. Random completely unrelated parallel to my other favorite band. I like that they have a song called Hey! and Mr. Bungle has a song called Hi! It all fits together. And they both have the exclamation point. But anyways ALSO since I’ve only finished listening for the first time Changes finished while I was writing this BTW. I am still figuring out my opinions on the rest of the songs. Don’t think the I am the Walrus cover QUITE does it for me, I like Spider and War Again but not sure if they’re favorites. I hated Can’t See/Useless the first time I listened but now I like it how about that! ONE MORE thing I like about this. Is its songs feel like continuations of stuff in other albums. Although that may just be because of similar themes! Like, War Again feels like a continuation of both Nothing to Fear and Little Guns but it’s about similar subjects to both. And Tender Lumplings, Little Girls, no real explanation needed there. Insanity and Nasty Habits match up pretty well, with both just being like about hating the world although Nasty Habits is more specific than that LOL. Mary is a girl who is unfairly ostracized, Johnny of Only a Lad is a boy who is unfairly praised, you know.  And also one more thing ONE more I know this one ALSO kinda has the classic Danny Elfman yells about things stuff going on but I feel like this is the album where it works best. But maybe I am just a hypocrite. OK that’s all. Hi