#vos is so insane i love her so much

[howgalling]

vos humanformer for @hasmadara! I couldn't decide on the skull or the vos face so enjoy both <3

[bit-odd-innit]

Please elaborate on the “Sondheim fan Steve” and “villain voice over Eddie” I love it so much I didn’t know I needed this before but it’s amazing

@tuvens WELL IF YOU INSIST. Steve wouldn't call him a musical fan, he doesn't dislike them but the only ones he knows are like Grease and Bye Bye Birdie etc. But when he was a kid his mother took him to see a touring production of Gypsy as a bid to expose him to "more culture," not thinking that that's objectively an insane show for a mother to bring her child to. And Steve liked it, more than he's liked other musicals, but mostly he liked that his mom was sharing something she loved with him. Then he caught West Side Story airing as the late night movie and he was like "oh! That's the same guy!" And he starts seeking out more of his work, at first because he thought this could be his and his mom's Thing and eventually because he found himself genuinely connecting to the lyrics and the rhythm of the music and it scratched an itch he couldn't explain. His mom grew distant and then this thing he he thought could be for Them is now just a thing for Him, this secret thing he loves and cherish and makes him feel Seen. Also something something Steve's mom being the one to introduce him to Sondheim and Sondheim exploring his relationship with his abusive mother through his work look if I love a fictional boy I've GOT to give him a complicated relationship with his mother I just GOT to.

Semi-related I have this idea that Steve likes a lot of oldies, a lot of Motown and pop from the 60s and early 70s. It's not his favorite genre but it's the one he listened to most growing up so he's got a soft spot for it.

VO Eddie: I imagine he had a pretty successful music career so he's already an established name, so when there's a gap between albums and tours he decides to do a guest spot on some kids show for fun, let's say Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It's a goofy episode where the Turtles are trying to stop Shredder from disrupting a concert and Eddie is playing himself, it was just supposed to be a straightforward cameo but he hams it up and makes his cartoon self much more of a diva, leans into the bratty rock star persona and has everyone in the booth howling cause it's so much better than what was scripted. And it's so much fun he loves it, he starts taking on more voice-acting jobs and he's good at it. It gets to the point where he becomes more well-known for voicing cheesy-terrifying villains than his music, which suits him fine. I said this in the tags of the last post but I basically want to give him Mark Hamill's career, I want him to have his Joker or his Fire Lord Ozai, I want him to be the type of VO where you see his name in the cast and you're like oh HELL yeah this is going to FUCK.

[bumblewarden]

Looking through the soundsets for some alienage pals, and i have spoils to share!

First up is Shianni. I'll be honest, i thought this was her Bad Idea comment at first because she can be so sarcastic, but it is fun to imagine her saying this approvingly. Most of these i've never heard in the game, and i don't know where i could find the actual audio files

I just love her sass

And here's a cute little parallel between Shianni and Soris's battle cries. I'm picturing the childhood wrestling matches already. Shiannii's probably around 2-4 years younger than him but kicking his ass more often than not

Soris also has a pair of delightful figures of speech for his Good Idea and Bad Idea comments

The existence of a Spell Failed comment for Soris had me 👀 for the half minute before i remembered that every companion has one. I assume it's in case any talent regardless of class gets interrupted, but i did start to think about that AU potential for a hot second. Might have to write a fic about it someday. Apostate Soris AU is just ripe for the presses

This one i just really want to know what his line of thinking was. While he's in the party, his only other party member is the Warden. If the Warden goes down, there's no "we" to help them unless you are in that conditional and very narrow window before f!Tabris finds Nelaros. Even while active, that would still mean running across the map to find him. Maybe it was originally planned to have someone else also join you during the break in or for Nelaros to live? Idk. Could just be a regular oversight since it's such a generic line

Moving on to Cyrion with something that is so simple yet would fill my Tabris with so much shame

Also we've got Valendrian coming in with the fire in his belly! He's so much more vicious than i expected! "Such a pathetic creature you are." Hello??? Does he actually know how to fight? Am i going to have to actually play Darkspawn Chronicles for a chance to maybe hear some of this now? What other possible combat scenario could this be intended for except that the toolset doesn't include anything DLC except Shale? I might go insane about this

(Yes, there's also a note that he'll never be in combat or controlled by the player, but at least his threaten and 5th battle cry don't look to be generic. Idk i have thoughts and questions about this, but Alistair's character sheet says he's 32, so it's not like it'd be the first or biggest retcon from the toolset)

We've also got quite a bit of elven coming from Valendrian! I don't think "Mur ta tanalla" even has a known canon translation but whatever it means clearly works as a battle cry

And to close out, some pickpocket reactions in the order of Shianni, Soris, Cyrion, Valendrian. Why did you attempt to steal from your father? Now, he's confused and disappointed

Soris's is definitely written with the CE Warden in mind, but i'd wager Shianni's is written with a non-CE Warden in mind. It's not that i don't think she'd say it, but (considering the VO note is "threatening") i do think that she'd instead take to it more as a poor joke if it were cousin instead of a near-stranger, especially if this cousin didn't accept Vaughan's bribe

Valendrian's line here also doesn't seem like he's speaking to a Warden Tabris considering he's described as a surrogate uncle to the alienage. But also him threatening anyone seems out of character. What happened to "the world has far more use of those who know how to stay their blades"? I'd expect exasperation, admonishment, maybe a little shaming. Can you imagine him saying this to a Cousland armed to the teeth? Combined with what i've already shown from him, it really makes you wonder how much his character changed over the course of development

And, uh, Nelaros. Either this line is miscategorized, or he doesn't quite get the concept of a war cry

[jlf23tumble]

Hi Jen

I can't wait for you to watch aotv and share your thoughts. All I have to say is -

- I absolutely adore Jay and I'm in awe of her.

- I don't if there was a little bit too much of Harry at first or if that's what my brain chose to focus.

- At the beach with the kid was pretty meh but the kid at his show was so so cute. Extremely heartwarming watching them together.

- Helene is an absolute gem.

- The fan moments left me appalled because of the white washing and the blatant show of privilege, not my favourite part.

- I'm surprised there was no mention of afhf.

It's been more 30 hours since I watched it, and I haven't had a single thought that didn't start and end with Louis. Nothing we didn't already know, but he's just a wonderful person, warts and all.

I need to watch again because I don't remember seeing some of the things that people are talking about. Hope you have a great time!

anon 2: I thought the hug was weird until I saw the movie myself because the hug was before the last 1d performance bts and Louis was so nervous. Harry and Louis didn't hug Liam or Niall in that room but only eachother for that small second and Helene so it seemed more like a small gesture of comfort, a bit of I am right here if you need anything. Right after everyone leaves the room because Louis needs a bit more practice with Helene (they were all ready to go onstage except for Louis) and Louis goes to the door and asks for Harry so it seems they talked again off camara. They showed the performance and there on stage everyone hugs except Louis and Harry and that made me laugh because bts they did hug and we never knew until this doc. I don't know if they were broken up but still cared for eachother because Harry also kept looking at Louis in that bts footage and he had this worried look on his face.

++++++++++++

Just gonna group all these movie-related takes together since I finally watched it! I won't answer your points line by line, but here are my knee-jerk takeaways:

None of this was surprising at all, but it was cool to see it all lumped into one place where people couldn't really erase it.

Love love love and miss Jay, also, Louis is such a tremendously strong person because this is definitely edited, he was bearing a lot more weight than is portrayed here, and yet he perseveres. He seems pretty present in every moment, too, which is impressive.

I hope Helene is making a shit-ton of money because she's doing at least 3 jobs.

The negative space around Eleanor (those 2x the E tat shows up, rip) is really loud, especially with the growing number of rainbow flags (starts with one, ends with hundreds), he is definitely opting to NOT talk about any relationship, draw your own dots (but also? some of the choices here, like the extended kiss during the Grease part, okay). I still feel El was a proxy, and that makes all of her absence even more ohhhhhhkay.

Related: I want to rewatch the first 10 minutes because I could swear he does this whole double layering with the "break up" talk and how it's meant to be about the band, but it's definitely literally focused on Harry (for one, that's mainly where you see Harry, especially in some obvious VO work, but also he says "relationship" singular vs. plural in a place where with the band, the plural makes a helluva lot more sense).

Related related: the way that Louis is interacting with Liam and Niall being at the same festival he was at, yet NOT interacting with Harry when he was at one, too, hmmmm.

I need to watch the Liam G. doc because Charlie's INSANE use of in focus/out of focus/in focus/out of focus, especially with family members, is meant to make it somehow feel unstaged but increasingly becomes annoying.

I felt like the James Corden bit was one of the very truest parts of this, a lot of it was by the numbers rote media training, but Louis disappearing? Maybe he hates James, who knows, but if it's a pattern, oh man.

I felt it was about 20 minutes too long, you could start seeing the template by the end (line up of fans, empty stadium, crowd excitement, Louis's buzzing, on to the next place) to the point where it almost diluted it? I would edit that shit down or compress it, there was a point where you weren't seeing anything new except for the location.

I disagree with anon 2 about the hug (for one, we don't see all the interactions/hug moments, who knows if a lot of hugs were shared, but also when he's calling to someone, Harry's in the back, I think, not to the left? I'd have to rewatch). Also, I'm in the camp that they had a big split around this time, yet were still friendly enough to be close, support each other (possibly fuck, who knows).

The parts with Freddie and his grandparents were incredibly moving, and telling, too, in that I get the anxiety spike because there's a lot here that is telling some people shit they just don't want to hear.

AIMH Oli, you can cause trouble up in [personal details redacted], and I would want to hear more about it. Hope you're being well paid, too.

Personal projection time: there were so many, SO MANY peter pan and the (white) lost boys antics, like, I disagree that all the fan content was white-washing when the entire BAND is white boy coded (at least SOME of the fans weren't white Americans). I don't think it'll change soon, but I like to hope he'll reach out and experiment more (both in terms of music and people around him). I hold out this hope because he clearly laid out the blueprint early on about 1st album is this, 2nd album is that, 3rd album is closer to what I want to do...I promise you, Loueh, plenty of non white dude fish in that sea.

[direwolfrules]

Star Wars As Star Trek AU: Obi-Wan’s Backstory

So, Obi-Wan's backstory in this AU gets some appropriate tweaking.

He grows up in the Stewjoni Highlands with his family. It's a boring existence for a child like Obi-Wan. His parents seem determined to live in the past – they don't even have a replicator! Obi-Wan though, he dreams of the stars. He's constantly in trouble for doodling starships and constellations in his notebook instead of paying attention to lessons.

When Obi-Wan's seventeen he runs away from home and takes the Academy entrance exam. He passes.

The Academy on Coruscant is grand, and quite awe inspiring, but it quickly becomes home. His classmates are strange, maybe even a little insane, but it's clear he's in good company. Obi-Wan's a little insane himself after all.

There's Quinlan Vos, who transferred in from the Guardian Academy on Kiffex, a move that was sponsored by Admiral Tholme. He's a trouble-maker, a flirt, and a devoted friend. Quinlan's in the same command courses as Obi-Wan, though in others, particularly investigation related classes, Quin's ahead. Transfer credits, they're amazing things.

There's Siri Tachi, who seems to enjoy being as contrary as possible. Her and Obi-Wan briefly have a thing before deciding they're better off friends. She eventually winds up taking investigations training. This shift in career trajectory came after a conversation with visiting Lieutenant-Commander Adi Gallia. No one knows what was said, only that Siri left Gallia’s office a more confident person than when she walked in.

Then there's Bant Eerin, who attends Starfleet Medical and takes extension courses to balance out her education. She's in Obi-Wan's engineering and command classes, and the two become the best of friends.

I...don't really know what to say about Reeft? He's there? He's a perfectly average officer with an above average appetite.

Garen Muln is the star of the Academy flight team. He's also decent at diplomacy, something that shocks his friend group to no end. To be fair, if you saw they way him and Obi-Wan argued you'd also be surprised to see his high marks in Diplomatic Courtesies and Protocols.

Obi-Wan also manages to form a rivalry with fellow student Bruck Chun. Bruck's a spoiled ass who thinks "Oafy-Wan" is a funny insult. It's not. Bruck's just a spoiled rich kid who's a badmiral waiting to happen. Their feud is legendary, and ultimately ends in Bruck getting expelled after trying to frame Obi-Wan for a crime.

At the Academy Obi-Wan makes the mistake of taking one of Captain Qui-Gon Jinn's courses on Xenobotony. At first Qui-Gon kinda hates him, he feels like Admiral Yoda, Chancellor of the Academy and full time troll, is trying to force a new mentee on him. Unfortunately for Qui-Gon, it works. Especially after Obi-Wan and him work together to foil Bruck's schemes. Qui-Gon got dragged in because of Xanatos-related nonsense.

While at the Academy Obi-Wan meets Satine Kryze, a Mandalorian exchange student and eldest daughter of Jorad'alor Adonai Kryze, the Duke of Kalevala. Qui-Gon pretends he sees nothing, Obi-Wan's friends do not. They mock him. Relentlessly. Siri and Quinlan make so many jokes about how Obi-Wan's type seems to be people who can kick his ass, physically or verbally.

Obi-Wan struggles to respond to that cause like, they're not wrong.

Satine’s exchange semester ends, and they part amicably. They’re both a bit heartbroken but they love each other too much for one to ask the other to forsake their duty.

Obi-Wan graduates from the Academy and wouldn’t you know it, Captain Jinn’s finally taking a new ship assignment and he specifically requested Obi-Wan.

Life on board the USS Maverick is…interesting, to say the least. Civil wars (in which Obi-Wan falls in love with two people who can kick his ass), sentient trafficking investigations (go take a nap or something Xanatos, eat a Snickers), and copious amounts of alien flora and fauna that tries to kill Obi-Wan (Qui-Gon please, just let the boy take his allergy medication before dragging him on away missions).

Qui-Gon’s not-girlfriend Captain Tahl occasionally shows up, and she’s decided that if Qui-Gon is Obi-Wan’s space dad, then she’s his space mom. Qui-Gon’s former foster son Feemor works at a Terraforming station, and has decided he’ll be a good big brother to Obi-Wan whether Qui-Gon likes it or not.

Various contemporaries of Obi-Wan in canon either show up as fellow officers on the Maverick or as crew on other ships and stations throughout the Federation. Adi Gallia is at some point Qui-Gon’s First Officer, probably around the time Obi-Wan’s a Lieutenant.

Speaking of Lieutenant Kenobi, he has the most eventful couple years after that particular promotion.

First, him and Qui-Gon find out what happened to dead Mand’alor Jango Fett. Turns out, Fett didn’t die, he was kidnapped in the wake of Galidraan and sold to the Kaminoans so they could experiment with making Clone super soldiers (I’ve decided in this AU Jango wasn’t a willing participant). Using a deepfake of Fett the Kaminoans managed to lure in several Haat’ade to use as trainers. Jango was kept compliant by giving him Boba. “Here’s a son, a sweet, vulnerable child who depends on you. Would sure be a shame if we activated the kill-switch we implanted and you had to watch the life drain from his little eyes, huh?”

Yeah, so that’s a situation that ends in Jango dying in a shootout between Kaminoan security forces, a Federation Strike Team, and Jango’s secret Clone Rebellion. No one knows who fired the shot that killed him.

This directly leads into event number two, Satine returns to Obi-Wan’s life.

The Mandalorians send her as their ambassador so they can figure out what the heck to do with all the Clones. Mandalorian law forbids them from allowing Augmented individuals into their space, let alone granting them citizenship. So, the clones, the eldest of which at this point are twenty-ish (I don’t have a good timeline in my head, we’re playing fast and loose and the Clones age normally here) gain Federation citizenship instead. The debate in the Mandalorian government about the clones will circle around fruitlessly for years.

Many wind up enlisting in Starfleet, applying to the Academy, and joining various civil services. Mace Windu somehow ends up with custody of Boba Fett and a young psychic clone named Omega. Kal Skirata just straight up disappears with his 104 commandos plus the six Nulls. They reappear later for… something.

Anyway, during the negotiations things between Obi-Wan and Satine reignite and nine months later Korkie is born. Obi-Wan doesn’t know he’s a dad by the way, because politics and love is the death of duty and all that jazz.

Third, the Maverick is assigned to transport Queen Amidala of Naboo to important trade negotiations. At this point Obi-Wan is a Lieutenant Commander. The mission gets derailed, psychotic Zabrak Augment assassins tend to do that, and Qui-Gon dies, Obi-Wan had to literally cut a man in half, and also now he’s a Captain.

Solid -7 out of ten on the mission-rating scale that one.

Oh, and a few years prior Qui-Gon took custody of this feral rat child named Anakin, who's currently an Ensign on Starbase M-7. So now Obi-Wan's all Anakin has, and boy that's a lot of pressure.

Obi-Wan serves with distinction for a couple more years as Captain of the USS Varactyl before finally getting assigned to the newly minted Venator-class ship, the USS Resolute.

[loveoaths]

𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐃 𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓.

lio, he/they,  20+. i write fic and talk about the mandalorian, star wars, and other shit i like here. sometimes that shit is nsfw.  follow at your own discretion. AO3: waterdeaths.

star wars content you’ll find here: mauldin, darth maulposting, ANDOR ANDOR ANDOR, cassian/din aka cassidin, din djarin’s sad little life, star wars meta, jedi love, mace windu, kit fisto powerhour, maulsoka, anadin (anakin/din djarin), quinobi (quinlan vos/obi-wan), lots of love for the star wars ladies (reva, padme, leia, ahsoka, luminara, asajj ventress, etcetera), dinluke, star wars: visions, and much more.

other content you’ll sporadically find here: hades (game), interview with the vampire, barbie (2023), poetry, and more.

core writing concepts:    the sins of the father as the backbones of their sons, selfish sacrifice, unearned forgiveness, thriving in spite of trauma, self-destruction as a survival mechanism, degradation of the human spirit, destruction necessitating change, what makes a man a monster, and love as the question and the answer.  dark subject matter is present; this blog is not for everyone. again, follow at your own discretion.    

on fic:  reblogs, likes, and commenting on my fic in the tags are all HEAVILY ENCOURAGED. i love to see everyone’s thoughts on what i’m writing. don’t be shy. let me be nosy. 

i accept writing prompts and requests! i have the right to decline requests as well. this is for fun, people.

in-progress fics 

Attachment Theory (Rating: E) Din is a Mandalorian, but when Luke comes for Grogu on Moff Gideon's ship, he acts like a Jedi: he selflessly gives the child up.  Grogu is a Jedi-in-training, but he acts like a Mandalorian: he is territorial and attached to his buir, and his protectiveness easily manifests as violence. Luke is supposed to be Grogu's Jedi Master, but how is he supposed to teach Grogu how to let go, when he himself struggles not to hold onto parts of his past?

The answer: the trio go on stupidly a dangerous cross-galaxy road-trip in the rebuilt Razor Crest to a lost Jedi library in search of Jedi training tools. Pairing: Dinluke, DinMaul(ish).

The Father, The Son, and the Unholy Ghost (Rating: T)  Luke likes Din. Din likes Luke. Din is less crazy about Luke's insane, evil father who keeps trying to kill him from beyond the grave. Pairing: Dinluke. Now featuring art by @its-not-a-pen​!

Fate Lays Her Heavy Hand (Rating: T, Eventually E) Darth Momin, heretic of the Sith and galaxy’s greatest hater, time-travels to the Republic Era to end Sidious’ reign before it begins. Why? Because he hates Sidious almost as much as he loves the Force. Pairing:  Maul/Padme/Momin, Vader/Krismo Sodi

Nothing is My Name (Rating: T/Gen) An exploration of Din Djarin’s life, from his childhood on Aq Vetina to his early years as the Covert’s lead hunter. Pairing: Mild Din/Armorer, Din/Paz Viszla, unrequited!Din/OC

The Devil’s Red Right Hand (Rating: T, Eventually E) Through sheer orneriness and force of will, Maul rejects death, rips a hole in the Force, and propels himself back in time to destroy Sidious by stopping the Clone Wars from ever happening. First stop: Naboo. Pairing: Potentially Maul/Padme

In the Shadow of the Valley (Rating: T, Eventually M) AU. The first Mandalorian Jedi was Tarre Viszla. The second was Din Djarin. AKA, the one where Din is a padawan, and everything is terrible. Pairing: Potentially Din/Padme/Anakin

The Bitten Hand Holds the Bounty (Rating: M for torture and graphic death) Someone hires Cad Bane to kidnap Grogu. Din sets the galaxy aflame to get him back. Pairing: DinCobb

Negative Space (Rating: T, Eventually E) Nature, they say, hates a vacuum. Which explains why Din, someone who is force negative or totally cut off from the Force, touches the Force beacon on Typhon and screws up the time-stream so bad he winds up in the Old Republic Era.

finished fics

creature of desire, you’ve a fever for the fire: (Rating: M, graphic animal death | Wordcount: 3000) In which godhood is a thing with teeth, sainthood was made to block the light, and Kimimaro is just a man looking for divinity in the flesh.

patches make the quilt  (Rating: T | Wordcount: 5633) The war is over. Haku and Zabuza rebuild their lives on a farm, and find themselves growing in the process.

death of a bellflower (Rating: T | Wordcount: 1238) Even for a Kaguya, Kimimaro is especially out of touch, with a naivety that seems incongruous with his family name. Privately, Kimimaro’s milky, wide-eyed stares remind Haku of a newborn kitten’s: seeing without discerning. Zabuza thinks he's a liability. Haku thinks he’s cute. Pairing: Haku/Kimimaro, first crush

death is a friend of mine (Rating: T | Wordcount: 5676) Haku’s never feared dying; he’s done it many times. It's finding something to live for that's the hard part.

blood under the bridge  (Rating: T | Wordcount: 1302) Zabuza dies during the battle for the bridge. Haku dies with him, though his heart yet beats.

a kicked dog still bites (Rating: T | Wordcount: 600) Yamato is assigned surveillance duty over a Yuki, of all things, and he’s 100% certain the next six months are about to be cold and miserable. Pairing: Gen

din djarin posting

force negative!din 

fic about din and grogu time traveling in the stupidest way possible and meeting anikin and obi-wan

dinluke

padawan!din au (wip)

cassadin

fic and rarepair tags

all fic tag.

rarepair tag.

rarepair of the day tag.

oc content

clone trooper cake.

gen oc tag.

ryogi tag.

writing stuff

words/writing i like.

yearly writing recap

2021 + 2022

[polniaczek]

also laverne and shirley<3

<33

shirley

favorite thing about them: that she has the personality of a chihuahua. she loves and cares so aggressively and she's also especially insane sometimes but so tiny that it's all very funny and adorable least favorite thing about them: how she just dipped on laverne favorite line: "i DONT vo dee oh doh doh" brOTP: OTP: laverne nOTP: random headcanon: she's ace spectrum. maybe demi idk. i haven't put much thought into this but it feels right unpopular opinion: song i associate with them: you don't own me would suit her favorite picture of them: i don't have any l&s caps :( i should have some

[icharchivist]

its also so fun when you play gbf and you add a character to your party because theyre useful and they are so good you genuinely start to care for them (zehek my beloved/ also fire yuisis is such a beast, she is literally insane) because they keep showing up on the frontlines and eagerly helping you out. they became blorbo because they worked for it.

oh TOTALLY and also MOOD FOR FIRE YUISIS!!!

she was one of my very early unit so originally she was in my fire team mostly out of "i don't have much else", but after seeing just how hard she was going about it, i ended up caring for her so much???? After that even though i started to get meta units i couldn't replace her for the longest time, i kept wanting to have her in my main line.

(i think i finally benched her only when i got the combo of Grand with Percival/Michael/Wilnas but i legit had her in my main fire team for years only due to that)

That's also how i ended up loving Nicholas!!! His dark unit was one of my very first unit, and originally he was just very useful because of his protection kit, but i remember especially that i was totally thrown out by the contrast of his unit's art VS his voice. Like he looked like the greatest edgelord of all time, and then he opens his mouth and he's the most cheerful guy you've ever heard. The guy carried me during my baby days bc he has a good kit, and eventually i read the Robomi saga only because i had grown to care about him so much that i needed to understand what was up with that. And then i ended up loving him even more! Even now while I have a lot more useful characters, sometimes with low stakes i bring him in the back just because. he's my bestie i want him to stay with me!!!

almost exact same thing happened with Gawain - his wind was one of my first unit, i knew he was linked to the kishi saga but in a weird way, and since he was a defense unit i was finding him rather useful. I got excited from playing him a lot and then he turned out to be a bitch in the FE, but i had grown to like him so much at this point that i couldn't go back and i've been a Gawain stan ever since (which served me SO WELL, i played the long game and the next year Savior of Dalmore came out and now everyone appreciates MY rude little meow meow!!!!)

also i bring those two up like that bc ironically both are voiced by the same VA so i definitely feel like this was a call out for me, bc i really did flag both of them as "big brother material" right away (esp after learning said VA voiced one of the character who has heavily impacted my childhood, on an anime i rarely watched in Japanese. I watched it recently in Japanese with a friend and i was like "ehehe look i love him, best-worst big brother of all t- wait why do i know his Japanese vo- WHAT THE FUCK.")

Altair also definitely counts in this category, he was the SSR i got from my SSR beginner ticket so he carried me early on, so i liked him soso much. Thanks to him i had a set up for "full team CA at first turn" before Relic Buster existed, and i was so proud of my set up. But now with RB he's basically obsolete.....

i'm sure there's more characters who would apply but those in particular really stood out to me bc i genuinely adore them so much and it really was first because of how useful they were.

really peak type of blorbos <333 so glad you had that too!!

[phoenixyfriend]

381. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.” with codywan, or anakin and obiwan (platonically) if you’re still doing these.

390 Prompts!!!!

I attempted to write Sad Things, feat. my headcanon that Plo taught Tholme.

----------

“--a padawan I wasn’t even ready for!”

Anakin freezes, holds his breath, doesn’t even blink. He waits, and hears a rough sob, paired with low and soothing words in a voice he thinks he recognizes. He doesn’t think either of them heard the door. He steps fully in and keeps his steps silent. He closes the door with that soft whisper it always has, and wonders if they heard it this time.

“You love the kid, Obi-Wan.”

“Loving him doesn’t make it easy, Quin,” Obi-Wan says, voice rough and broken in a way that makes Anakin’s gut curdle. “I wasn’t... I‘m not... he should have been my brother, not my student. He should have been Qui-Gon’s to raise, or... I haven’t had time to be my own person yet, let alone teach someone else.”

“If it’s any help, I felt that way with Aayla, and I actually had a few years to work solo before I started teaching her.” There’s a shuffling noise. “I think you need to visit a therapist, or at least a grief counselor--”

“They’ll take Anakin away. I can’t--I can’t let anyone know I’m struggling this much, Quinlan, they’ll take him, and I don’t know--”

Anakin feels tears pricking at his eyes.

“If they find they need to remove him from your care, they will figure out where to place him and who to put in charge of him before they do it,” Knight Vos says. Anakin thinks he sounds like this is a sentence he’s said a million times. “Hell, if it turns out he doesn’t want to be a Jedi after all, there’s a process to sponsor him getting, I dunno, an engineering degree? At Coruscant U.? Kid’s good with droids and basically a tiny genius, he’d--”

“I don’t want them to take him,” Obi-Wan interrupts. Anakin creeps closer. “I want to keep Anakin, I want to be his family, I just--”

“You just wish you weren’t the only person he has?”

Obi-Wan makes a pained noise. “The entire lineage is in tatters, Quin. My master’s dead, my grandmaster’s gone, I’ve barely met Feemor, Komari went insane and then died, Xanatos did the same, I don’t--I don’t even know what’s going on with Rael, he’s refused to speak with any of us since Nim died, and now it’s just me and a child with more trauma than I know how to help with, and a blasted old frog who’s forgotten how to deal with any sentient under the age of five centuries and--”

“Breathe, Obi.”

“I don’t know what to do,” Obi-Wan sobs. “Quinlan, I have no idea what I’m doing and I don’t know who to turn to. There aren’t any more masters, no more adults, that I can call up and talk to for advice, not if I want it to be helpful. I’m the adult. I’m the master. I’m the only person that boy has and I’m not enough!”

Anakin gives up on staying still and silent and runs into the room, throwing himself into Obi-Wan’s middle and hugging as hard as he can. He and Knight Vos are on the couch, so Anakin ends up with a knee in his abdomen, clinging and teary and trying to push as much I care about you and you mean a lot to me and you’re enough into the hug while he can.

“Shit,” Knight Vos whispers. “Kid--”

“You’re enough, Master,” Anakin says, squeezing as tight as he can. Maybe if he hugs harder, Obi-Wan will understand.

“You weren’t supposed to hear that,” Obi-Wan breathes. Anakin hears the clinking of a teacup being set on the table, carried on a faint wave of the Force. His hands rest lightly, carefully, hesitantly on Anakin’s back. They’re warm, even through the layers of linen and synthcotton. “Anakin, you--how long were you listening?”

Anakin shrugs. He hugs harder.

“I’m going to get some more tea,” Knight Vos says quietly.

The couch shifts as Knight Vos stands, and there’s a moment where Anakin can’t hear anything but his own breathing, can’t feel anything but Obi-Wan’s rough outer robe against his cheek and the hands on his back. A moment, and then Obi-Wan moves his hands, pulls Anakin fully into his lap and lets skinny arms come up around his neck. Anakin feels safe, when Obi-Wan hugs him fully, and he tries to push that feeling into the Force so Obi-Wan can feel it to.

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan sighs. “This is--no, dear one, this is a me problem. It’s not for you to fix.”

“But I’m the problem,” Anakin says, and feels Obi-Wan’s arms stiffen around him. “And I don’t want to be a pro--”

“You are not a problem,” Obi-Wan says, rough and a little vicious. He pulls Anakin closer, cups a hand around Anakin’s skull and presses him against his collarbone and neck. “You are a child. The problem is the system that wasn’t set up to support you.”

“But you’re upset.”

“I’m upset for many reasons, but none of it is your fault,” Obi-Wan insists. His hand cards through Anakin’s hair. It feels nice. “I’m... a lot of it is because Master Qui-Gon died, Anakin, and that’s still very recent for me. I’m sad, and sometimes I’m too sad to do the work I need to do. Sometimes I’m too sad to get up and take care of you, and that’s a problem, because you just turned ten, and you need an adult.”

“...those are the days when Knight Vos comes and you ask Aayla to help me with my homework?” Anakin asks. “Or when you tell me to go help Knight Eerin with droid maintenance in the healing halls?”

“Yes,” Obi-Wan says, voice heavy. “And I’m sorry you have to deal with those days. I should be more present for you. It’s my duty as your Jedi master, and--”

“And he cares about you a lot and it upsets him that you’ll know and worry now,” Knight Vos interrupts. Obi-Wan finally lets Anakin sit up straight, but doesn’t make him get off and stop cuddling. Knight Vos gestures for each of them to take some tea. Anakin’s has blue honey in it. He says thank you.

Everything’s quiet for a bit, and the Knight Vos says, “I’m going to talk to Master Plo.”

“Who?” Anakin asks, even as Obi-Wan protests, far louder.

“Master Plo Koon,” Knight Vos says, holding up a hand to stall Obi-Wan’s protests, “Is my grandmaster. He taught Master Tholme, though you wouldn’t know it if you met them, with how grumpy my Master is. But Master Plo  loves kids and has plenty of experience dealing with young Knights who aren’t ready for things, and he’s sympathetic to these things.”

“He’s on the Council,” Obi-Wan hisses.

“You need help, Obi,” Knight Vos says, unyielding as duracrete. “And he’ll know how.”

“Quin--”

“I think you should do it,” Anakin mutters.

“...Excuse me?”

“You’re sad,” Anakin says, not looking up from his tea. “And you said it makes you more upset that you can’t take care of me when you’re sad, so you’re already sad and then you make yourself more sad. And I don’t like it when you’re sad, so if Master Koon can help, and he’s going to be nice about it, then I think you should talk to him.”

“You heard the kid,” Knight Vos says, and Anakin can hear the grin. Still, this guy is Obi-Wan’s friend and gets all soft and nice when he keeps talking. “It’s okay to need help, Obi, and Master Plo will be happy to talk to you and figure out a way to take care of yourself and Anakin without risking custody.”

“Please, Master?” Anakin asks, wriggling around to look Obi-Wan in the face. He looks so tired. “I don’t want you to be more sad than you already are. I can’t help about Master Qui-Gon, but if--”

“Okay,” Obi-Wan cuts him off. He closes his eyes, squeezing them shut like that’ll help him feel better, and shakes his head a little. “Fine, I’ll talk to Master Koon.”

Anakin lodges himself back into his prior position, head tucked in between Obi-Wan’s jaw and shoulder, and feels his Master sigh as he rubs Anakin’s arm. “Thank you, Master Obi-Wan.”

Obi-Wan just sighs again. He doesn’t make Anakin stop cuddling, though.

[swbumblebee]

What if Qui-Gon Jinn was not particularly special in his post-mortem abilities?

AKA “Old Ben” and his many Force parents.

They had all watched, their collective Force aura swamped in sadness, grief and longing, as Qui-Gon finally introduced himself to Obi-Wan.

They’d never call him ‘Old Ben’. The fact that he was only 40 years old notwithstanding, this was the boy they’d raised, grown up with, idolised. They remembered him toddling about the gardens, fascinated by the brightly coloured flowers; Getting shy around pretty people and developing awkward crushes. They remembered him standing alone at the head of an army, quietly confident and immeasurably capable. They had vivid memories of him carrying them back to the creche, so steady and strong; of his measured wisdom, and the confidence that Obi-Wan Kenobi would always triumph.

They remembered the mullet.

Nobody named “Old Ben” ever had a mullet.

The man they now, as they always had really, looked to for a light when everything else went dark.

They didn’t catch the murmured words. They were Jedi after all, (even if they were now technically one big Jedi rather than a temple full of Jedi) and eavesdropping was rude. Nobody listened to the sulky mutterings of the presence that was Quinlan Vos.

Their boy was nodding, sitting quietly on the floor whilst he finally, finally after weeks of careful and gentle persuasion, of them all keeping a tight rein on the order’s maverick (“Do not, we repeat do not, come out of the water tank. You’ll give him a cardiac arrest or something”) believed in the presence he saw before him.

They watched once more, pleased, as their missing piece allowed himself to be bullied to his feet, and guided over to the pile of blankets he called a bed.

They could feel Qui-Gon’s bitter relief as he perched next to his former student, his longing to pull the blankets up around his boy and smooth back his hair.

But words were all they had.

Still, as Obi-Wan Kenobi had shown the Galaxy; you could do a lot with words.

---

They’d argued (as much as an incorporeal fusion of spirits could argue) at length over who got to go next.

“I knew him longest, he’ll trust me!”

“He needs someone calm, measured. I will go”

“No offence Master Plo but you’ll make him cry. He needs cheering up, I’ll go!”

“Vos so help me Force-“

“I was the Master of the Order, I should do it”

“Master, we’re dead. I’m not sure seniority applies.”

In the end it was narrowed down to two options; Bant Erin, Obi-Wan’s oldest friend. Sweet natured and kind, she would be the perfect choice.

And Mace Windu.

It turns out seniority does still apply beyond the grave.

---

A small part of Obi-Wan’s subconscious was telling him that it was starting to get a bit awkward.

The transparent blue form of Mace Windu was looking down at him, the welcoming smile quickly turning into a grimace.

“…Obi-Wan?”

No. no no no this was not happening. He didn’t have time to go round the bend he had a child to protect!

He wasn’t sure if it was reasonable to measure sanity on the volume of dead loved ones he was hallucinating, but somehow one seemed saner than two.

Though it turns out he’s insane, and so not a good barometer of these things.

He knew his stare was starting to get very unnerving as his hysterical inner-ramblings reached a fever pitch.

“…Obi-Wan, are you alright?” Imaginary Mace Windu asked, concern and a tiny bit of nervousness showing on his face.

“I’m fine, how are you?” Obi-Wan asked, remembering a solid piece of advice from his formative years; Always fall back upon good manners when in unfamiliar territory Padawan mine.

Well, this was about as unfamiliar as it got.

Imaginary Mace looked at him, utterly baffled for a moment.

“Well…I’m dead, I suppose, is how I am” he answered awkwardly.

“Right. Obviously.” Obi-Wan nodded politely. “My condolences”

There was another awkward silence.

Imaginary Mace tilted his head for a moment, listening for something.

“Well…here I am” he said, spreading his arms a little.

“…yes.”

The other Jedi frowned at Obi-Wan’s strained reply and his act of scrubbing his hands down his face as if to wipe away the image in front of him.

“Qui-Gon didn’t…didn’t mention we were coming?” he asked tentatively.

Obi-Wan shook his head, wordlessly.

The frown on Imaginary Mace turned into a complete scowl as the pieces seemed to fall into place.

“JINN” he bellowed, and Obi-Wan felt it echo in the Force like nothing before.

“He can’t hear you, he’s with Yoda”

Another figure popped into existence next to Mace, and Obi-Wan rubbed his eyes once again as Depa Billaba bowed to him.

“Obi-Wan” she greeted with a grin.

“…hi” He took a deep breath, mentally cursing his absent-minded Master.

“Are you alright?” Depa didn’t stop for a reply as she looked down with him and gestured at him, gently instructing him to get up from the floor. “Oh look you’ve scraped your knee there! Master I knew you’d startle him!” she scolded her former Master.

It felt like he was having an out of body experience as Depa ushered him into a chair (the only chair in the hut), Mace looking on anxiously.

“There we go” Depa soothed as she got him settled “I wish we could make you some tea my friend.” She said disappointedly.

Obi-Wan cleared his throat.

“You ah…you can’t?” he asked, something permeating the haze. Of this whole situation, that seemed by far the most unfair thing.

Mace smiled encouragingly, seemingly happier to be on more binary ground.

“I’m afraid not, we are beings of the Force, like your Master.” He explained, before scowling again. “Who, I would kill if he weren’t already dead,” he growled.

“I’m so sorry Obi-Wan” Depa said, dismayed “We all wanted to come and be with you, but we though Qui-Gon might be best to start with, so as not to overwhelm you”

“Sorry about that” Mace said apologetically.

They sat in silence a moment, Depa and Mace watching him process.

For the first time ever, Obi-Wan had exactly zero thoughts in his head.

He was starting to feel the pressure.

“All?” he tried.

Depa and Mace looked at each other.

“You ah…you said ‘all wanted to come’” he clarified.

Depa nodded happily.

“Yes yes, we’re all there Obi-Wan” she smiled at him

“Any Jedi slain by a Sith, or the machinations of the Sith, is there” Mace explained.

Obi-Wan was having the slightest bit of trouble taking deep breaths. Neither of his companions seemed to have noticed.

“Where?” he asked, only mildly aware that his voice was getting just a little pitchy.

“In the Force, we’re all one in the Force” Depa started again, and then paused a little lost for words.

“We’re all together and we kind of…share our presences” Mace picked up, with difficulty “Everyone who was killed by Palpatine’s evil, everyone from us right down to the littlest initiate, we share one consciousness in the Force.”

Obi-Wan was none the wiser.

Mace waved a hand frustratedly.

“Sorry, Plo explains it better”

“Plo?” Obi-Wan loved Master Plo. He loved all of them. And they were gone.

“Hello Obi-Wan”

“Well, if Plo and Depa get to see him I’m bloody well here too!”

“Hi Obi”

“Obes!”

He could only watch, speechless, as the faces of old friends, comrades, mentors and carers crammed into his hut, all looking at him with unadulterated, unfiltered pleasure and love was the last thing he saw before his scrambled brain decided it’d had enough, and he knew nothing but darkness.

---

It turns out, living with the forms of all your dead teachers, carers and friends was actually rather trying, after a while.

“Oh thank goodness you’re not still drinking that awful caff”

“I like caff – Master Plo please don’t try and lift that”

“Relax Obi dear, we’re incorporeal”

“Can still see things though”

“Vos get out of my fresher!”

“What does this do?”

“Never you mind. No don’t – Ugh. Why don’t some nice, well behaved padawans ever come to see me?”

“They’re not allowed, only those who knew you personally can visit. We thought it might get a bit stressful otherwise.”

“…I can’t imagine.”

Aside from having to adapt his busy routine to accommodate half a dozen fidgety and curious…ghosts (?) poking around his small hut at any one time, another unexpected addition to his (attempted) isolation on Tatooine was the nagging. And Force could they nag! The concentrated worry of many, many, beings with nowhere else to direct their extra energies was powerful.

“Obi-Wan you haven’t drank enough today. Go and check the vaporators”

“Padawan aren’t you going to eat?”

“Listen, that plie of cloth can’t be good for your spine”

“Force! Get some sun block Kenobi or you’re going to look like an old shoe in three months”

“No right, I saw a sunhat he can buy at the market”

It was…weird. He’d always been very self-sufficient, not to mention being the centre of everyone’s attention was difficult, to say the least. But as the months went on, he found himself transitioning from awkward acquiescence to see-sawing between mulishness and good-natured obedience. The stubbornness rising usually when the despair did. But those days were few and far between.

And now, when they did occur (for one can only avoid one’s demons for so long) and he felt like he was drowning in the weight of existence, he could rely on his friends for encouragement, care, and the motivation to carry on.

“If you join us before your time I will KILL you Obi-Wan Kenobi. Now kriffing well eat something!”

---

Of course, when their brother, friend, son, comrade, teacher and last hope did at last join them, there was no nagging or disappointment (or violence). The ultimate Jedi was back in the fold and they were once again complete.

[siennahrobek]

Okay so like, I’m reading fics and stuff cause sometimes you just need to read some hurt comfort and Obi-Wan get a hug. Cause boy does he need it.

And I am absolutely flabbergasted by how many fics there are about Obi-Wan having to beg for forgiveness from his friends and family and even his men. Like. What. There are dozens of them. Anakin is all mad, Ahsoka is all mad. Cody is all mad. And okay, I get being upset and stuff. Like, that has got to hurt.

But first, he’s just doing what he can. They are in a war. Leadership is, like, a big thing. Even if it was his choice, it’s still his duty to protect the leaders of the Republic. Undercover work isn’t completely unpopular. It happens. (I won’t even go into his Palpatine manipulates everything. Jerk)

Also, I can’t imagine that they didn’t think about other options. Palpatine is really serious about not hiding and security and stuff. And why Obi-Wan?

One; he has the skills. he’s a great shot. We’ve seen this in varying episodes throughout the series. He does a great job against Mandolorians and even shoots one down as the guy was flying away. Remember in RotS? (Yes that’s later but still) he shoots Greivious what? Twice? Hanging off a ledge and doesn’t miss. He’s got the skills of a bounty hunter, no doubt. He’s an amazing hand to hand fighter, super charming (manipulative) and downright ruthless when necessary. He can’t use a lightsaber going undercover but he’s insanely resourceful (he did discover the clone army, Jango Fett, and Count Dooku and the Separatists on a tank of space gas) and some of his closest friends are shadows; Quinlan Vos and Siri Tachi. He probably picked up a few things from them too.

(I won’t even go into the kind of things he probably learned on missions with someone lie Qui-Gon Jinn)

I imagine the Council would probably look into a few people. But this a tad bit last minute; many knights are gone into war and I have no doubt shadows are on their own missions. This is a super high risk scenario and they need a charming and cunning warrior who can lie. I don’t know about y’all but that seems like Obi-Wan to me.

Honestly I kind of started ranting and forgot where I was going with this.

But anyways. There are a ton of fics that are Obi-Wan being hurt and yelled at for doing his job. Everyone is angry at him. Now, don’t get me wrong, I get people have individual tastes and tropes and such but for me, it’s so confusing. Because like, Anakin is immediately furious that Obi-Wan is alive. Shouldn’t he be freaking out super happy that his best friend/mentor/brother is ALIVE? I know I would be. Imagine; one of the people you love the most died and then a few days/a week later you find out they are alive? Man I would be so happy that I get to continue my life and relationship with them.

I get that anger is something Anakin struggles with. But he never really seems glad that his master is alive. I’m a tad more understanding for Ahsoka and I imagine that Obi-Wan would be more sympathetic with her since he died in her arms. That is something Obi-Wan can relate to painfully personally.

And the clones? I’m not entirely sure where they were exactly during this arc but out of anyone, soldiers and beings of duty, I think would be much more understanding. They are living and dying for the Republic. They follow orders. They know orders. I do not really think that they WOULD hold this against him. The clones are so used to death of their brothers and fighting on and receiving was little joy they can, whenever and wherever they can. I feel like they would be glad to see him alive, even if he did lie about it. They understand duty and doing what is necessary, or even if it isn’t, following the orders of superiors. Obi-Wan may be a high general but he still has superiors too.

I guess I would just like something where there is someone happy to see Obi-Wan, relieved that he is alive after this arc.

I guess I have some feelings about this haha

[starwarslut]

i’m back with my clone wars thoughts, it’s been like two seasons so buckle up (first post here):

- cody and rex are the brains of the operation and 100% of obi-wan and anakin’s impulse control (ashoka switches between the two depending on the day)

- the dr nuvo vindi dude just looks like he would commit war crimes, the geneva convention means nothing to this man

- anakin and ashoka getting into an argument and anakin sends ashoka to her room . . . ok dad

- fires??? burning in space????? with what fuel???? last i checked space is a vacuum and that’s not very flammable babey

- i feel like anakin just keeps coming up with even more batshit out of control plans, each more insane and suicidal than the last, and yet SOMEHOW he still survives

- obi-wan has such tired dad TM energy, especially when it comes to anakin’s plans

- episode 20? i think you mean boil and waxer adopt a child

that’s all for season one so now onto season two (somewhere in here it becomes season three but i’m not sure where):

- waxer/boil (i’m shite at telling them apart) having numa on his helmet melts my heart

- kix definitely has the best hairstyle out of all the clones, it’s sick as hell

- the clones are oddly skinny??? idk man i just thought they’d be bulkier so you could imagine my surprise

- watching obi-wan beat the crap out of pre viszla was so incredibly satisfying

- love that rex teaches the shinies that working under skywalker means they never do what they’re supposed to

- rex is so very in tune with anakin’s bullshit he’s like the very resigned holder of their single shared brain cell

- i absolutely adore tiny boba (but also i can’t take him seriously because every time i see him i’m like ooh what are you gonna do??? kick them in the shins???)

- i’m completely enamoured with how plo koon’s troops painted him and them on the side of their transports - true father/son relationship goals

- and it says plo’s bros on it - i’m 🥺🥺

- r2 is a near-feral street mutt while all the other astromechs are purebred show dogs - this is facts

- i feel like quinlan vos is who anakin would be if he was trained by like yoda or someone a bit less sane/more unhinged (not that there are many people that fit that)

- padme is such a badass little lady and i absolutely love her she deserves so much better

[thepriceofbeingaroseisloneliness]

KAORU PERSONAL INTERVIEW SPECIAL HEADBANG VOL.27 TRANSLATION 2/2

The ideal figure that the guitarist who leads the band as a leader got while struggling, and the reason for his unstoppable pursuit. “Without ‘BLUE BLOOD’ I wouldn’t really be who I am now” “After all, I’ve always liked dark and hopeless stuff, that kind of things” “I’m the type of person who wants to be affected by cd jackets and lyrics” "Sometimes I can do it. A song with a very pop and bright atmosphere"

Notes before reading: This is the second part of the personal interview of Kaoru from the magazine Headbang Vol.27 released on 18th August 2020.  The interview is 11 pages long and this part covers the last 5 pages.  As Toshiya and Die’s interviews, 2nd part is focused on his roots as a guitarist.

You can get the magazine at Amazon Japan or CDJapan. Read Toshiya’s interview here Read Die’s interview here

Feel free to correct me if you spot any mistake or any confusing. Links or credits to this post when the content is reposted or captured in other SNS is appreciated :) ----- Text by: Yohsuke Hayakawa (First part here) “Without “BLUE BLOOD” I wouldn’t really be who I am now” -Then, the topic of the talk changes from here.  I would like to ask you about the story behind the 20 albums that you selected regardless of era or reasons but, you chose 10 albums from Japan and 10 foreign albums.

K: Is that true? (laughs). It's a coincidence, but it was very difficult to narrow down when it came to choose again. So, I chose mainly the ones I listened to a lot before I started the band and when I started doing it. They are just albums that influenced me. -I have the impression that Japanese music was a kids who read WeROCK’s thing. K:  Hahaha. Yes (laughs). -First of all…. COLOR's mini album "FOOLS! GET LUCKY !!" (1989) is also included. I have to ask about why you picked this one. K: Well, I really love it (laughs). Even though it was "X in the east, COLOR in the west"*, I was really into it, so I went to see their live performance. I like their punkish songs and they have many fast songs. At that time, if a song wasn’t  fast, it was a “no” for me. I also liked ROSE ROSE. *(This makes reference to X Japan being from the Kanto region (East) and COLOR being from Kansai (West) as both band emerged around the same time.) -Then D'ERLANGER. DIR EN GREY participated in D'ERLANGER's tribute (announced in 2017 ‘D'ERLANGER TRIBUTE ALBUM  ~ Stairway to Heaven~ "). Was the album "LA VIE EN ROSE" (1989) a shock for you?

K: That’s right, “LA VIE EN ROSE” too but also CIPHER (G) himself. Well, I think it was at ”BURNN! JAPAN”, CIPHER appeared in a solo photo on one page in colour.

-Oh, it’s a shot in which you can see him standing with a flashy Les Paul guitar. It was before kyo (D’ERLANGER vocalist) became a member. K: That’s right.  I though “What on earth is this person?” After that, they were releasing a CD ("LA VIE EN ROSE") , so I made a I made a reservation right away.

-Also, a band you can't miss from those times is DEAD END. It never gets old because it’s respected across generations. K: I chose "Shambara" (1988), well, it's a masterpiece. Just listening to the opening song "EMBRYO BURNING" made me sick. When I first started listening to metal music, I was a bit reluctant but with DEAD END, the melody that MORRIE sung got me very quickly, I got into them without any resistance. I didn’t have the impression that DEAD END was so-called “metal”. Since I started playing in bands, I was overwhelmed by the seriousness of YOU’s guitar technique. - Next is ZI: KILL is "ROCKET" (1993). Initially, the dark positive punk style was strong but with that last album, their musicality expanded dramatically and there are even piano jazz songs. K: It’s an album that feels like something has been reached. I got into ZI:KILL since the early albums and after making their major debut, I got the impression that their albums got milder. However, when I listened to "ROCKET", it seemed like an insanely cool album. I still listen to it. -Including a horn in their arrangements was ground-breaking. K: Yes, at first I hated it! But somehow, I didn’t care about it at all. Still, TUSK (Vo) lyrics and the songs were addictive. It made a deep impression on me, that’s why I read ZI:KILL lyrics carefully as well.

-Do you care about the lyrics when it comes to Japanese artists? K: I check the booklets properly. After all, the lyrics reach my ears at the point in which the words make you feel something.

- And, needless to say, you also chose X's "BLUE BLOOD" (1989). At the Vol. 20 of this magazine, you chose it as a “metal album that changed your life”. So, as expected, if you choose an album from X japan, would be this one? K: Without this album, I wouldn't really be who I am now.

-You were influenced by everything, both the music and the guitar play….is that so? K: The guitar too, right? Well, it’s not at that level anymore.

-Ah, that’s not the level (laughs) K: I was just listening to it earnestly and thinking “amazing!”, it just something that I like, there is no particular reason (laughs).

“Western music  (I listened to) was also greatly influenced by HIDE. That’s why everything it’s related to HIDE (laughs)”

- On the other hand, Tsuyoshi Nagabuchi and Cocco are also included. K: I've always liked Nagabuchi. Like "Tonbo" (1988), there was a tv drama about that. *(”Tonbo” (Dragonfly) was also a tv drama  in which Tsuyoshi Nagabuchi played a member of a yakuza gang  who is trapped in a violent existence.)

- Oh, after that was "Shabontama" (1991). K: I also like the movie "Orgel" (1989), I was really into Nagabuchi at that time. The "Showa" (1989) album I chose this time is the album that got me hooked. The masterpiece "Gekiai" which is my favourite song was recorded around that time.

-You liked Nagabuchi’s drama series. K: Yes, they are rather dark series. I don’t know much about the brighter/cheerful ones.

-The ones like "Family Game" (1983)? K: That's right. Those are not the ones that I prefer. After all, I’ve always liked dark and hopeless stuff, that kind of things. -(Laughs) However, the radical portrayal of Nagabuchi’s drama shocked your heart as a young boy. Probably such a drama couldn’t be made in this era. K: Yes, you can’t. There isn’t even a rebroadcast of these ones.

-Certainly.  Also, I remember that Cocco was around in the scene at the same time than HIDE (g). K: Yes. When I listened to her album, it didn’t feel like I was listening to a Japanese cd. I felt like it was a western heavy band, so I got into it with that kind of image.

-I feel that foreign music, the alternative vibe is overall stronger, but do you like that? K: After all, HIDE’s influence in foreign music (I listened to) is huge. At that time, I was buying various magazines and looking for some more, I checked the names that appeared in HIDE’s articles and I’ve been listening to the ones I liked all the time.

- I have the impression that HIDE had a great influence on you listening to bands like Jane's Addiction at that time. What about Vanessa Paradis and Japan ( English new wave band)? K: That was also due to the influence of HIDE. That’s why almost everything is related to HIDE (laughs). Also, this album of hers (released in 1992, “Vanessa Paradis”) was produced by Lenny Kravitz, who liked to go to her lives.  She's still good, but I especially like her early days, I'm attracted to that voice.

“I’m the type of person who wants to be affected by cd jackets and lyrics”

- So that's it. The only work related to HIDE that you chose was with X Japan but, what about his solo works? K: Well, of course I like his solo, but in my case, I like HIDE in X Japan the most.

-Other than that, I can tell that you like strong sounds, heavy riffs and industrial. K: That’s right. As I was always seeking fierce things, I came to like strong riffs such as Pantera and Ministry.

-What about the so-called European German metal? K: Especially at that time, it wasn’t my cup of tea (laughs) - Then, some of the foreign music you chose…. "Psalm 69: The Way To Succeed And The Way To Suck Eggs" (1992) by Ministry. This album was already mentioned in this magazine before as an important metal album for you. K:  At that time, there was a foreign-related CD shop called WAVE at  Umeda Loft in Osaka. I think that I found it there and listened to it. I was like “what the hell?”, so I bought it right away. I listened to it at home again. That night I went to a acquaintance’s house and I said “Listen to this!”, and I forced him to listen (laughs). -I can tell your excitement (laughs) K: Then I listened to all the other albums. Above all, I like this one the most.  -And you also mentioned Nine Inch Nails. K: The first thing I heard from them was a single or something. At that time, I thought, "Wow, that's amazing," but when I listened to the songs on that album, I felt like I was listening to something I had never heard before. It's dark, but it sounds very aggressive. But it’s not like european music dark feeling.At that time, I wasn't sure if  they were a band or not (laughs).  -You wondered if it was a one-person band. K: That’s right. I was like “Is the same person doing everything?”, “Is he playing drums too?”. Everything was a mystery. Information was not available as soon as it does now, so I was wondering “Who is this person?”. I also wondered if the cd jacket had something to grasp, like it was a cd jacket that I didn’t really understand. Like the logo. It was all mysterious and addictive. I myself am the type who wants to be influenced/affected by cd jackets and lyrics, so I look at every corner. Everything up to the back of the wrapping. Then, when I looked at the back, I thought, "Isn't there anything attached?" (Laughs).  -(Laughs)There are many things that are totally attractive, including elaborate art books.  K: Yes. Especially for Nine Inch Nails, I went looking for some place that sell T-shirts of them.  "Sometimes I can do it. A song with a very pop and bright atmosphere"  -Among these works, isn't there any in particular that has an easy-to-understand influence on the songs that you make with DIR EN GREY? K: Well, I don't know that .  - Some of the works you chose this time have a strong melody…. For example, on a 2017 tour focused in “MACABRE" (2000), you played “Taijou no ao” for the first time in a while. I mentioned in this magazine before that "If you change the arrangement of a song to your current style, you can still play it ", but is there a desire to make a song with that kind of melody now? K: I don’t have a particular desire to do it. I think that it feels like something from that time, it’s an image that doesn’t make me feel excited now.  -By the way, do you usually listen to music with melodies like that? K: I do, I do.  Rather, I’ve been listening to pop music all the time lately.  I am not listening noisy bands at all.  -Noisy ones (laughs). K: Hahaha. -However, it's a little hard to think that you are going to make songs like that. K: Yeah, it doesn't happen very often sometimes, but there are times when I can do it. A song with a very pop and bright atmosphere. So, when I tried to start to work on songs, one turns out like “this is what I have done”. But maybe then I think that it’s a little different from what I do with DIR EN GREY, so I have to mess with it, fix it or just store it. - Eh! Do you make that kind of songs? I would like to hear a song like that from you now. That’s why the melody of “Taijou no Ao” that I mentioned as an example is not only pop but also suffocating. Faintly scented lyrics. I wonder if that it’s your true self. K: That's right.The first thing that influenced me was  the New Wave*. Pet Shop Boys and so, I liked that kinds of thing. That’s why there is a bit of that “kind of atmosphere” sometimes. It's not just pop. *(New wave is a broad music genre that encompasses numerous pop-oriented styles from the late 1970s and the 1980s) -There is also a sorrowful side. K: So, if I had to pick one, Europe is better in that than America. Well, when it comes to the songs I make, I’d like to make them more interesting, but I don’t feel like doing something that is off the point/wrong.  -I have to ask you about the melody part now. K: If you have any concerns, I will answer them…  - What if there is something clear for you like, “this song has this kind of image”? K: After that, Kyo has several ways to sing so I will combine them in my own way and propose new melodies. Like “I think in this way would be cool”.   -Oh, that’s how you do it. In any case, now I'm looking forward to the day when I can listen to a new song again. Will the album be completed in 2021? K: That's right.  -By the way, Kaoru-san's hard disk has already material for the new album…. K: Well, there's something for the album……there is, but it’s still not the whole thing at all (laughs).

[princess-of-the-corner]

Anakin's problem can be summed up with two words: Sheev Palpatine. Without him having access to young and impressionable Anakin and having authority to send Obi-Wan away on missions whenever he found it convenient, there's a good chance he'd have learned how to manage his emotions.

Almost every other Jedi could, and they were good: even without going to Ki-Adi-Mundi's ability to just shrug off the death of his wives and daughters (Cereans have a low birth rate and a horrobly skewed gender ratio, so the Jedi sent him back home to procreate), they were able to take the war and for the most part not fall. Even the one who literally acts as a Dark Side circuit every time he fights. Of the Clone Wars-era ones who fell without a Dark Sider's direct intervention, all had it worse than Anakin: Pong Krell had PTSD from the empathic feedback of his troops dying under him (apparently including his entire force if he was available to replace Anakin on Umbara) plus visions of the Republic's imminent fall, Quinlan Vos (who managed to recover) as a young child had been forced to experience how his parents were killed by vampires and as a Jedi went through insane missions before being sent to spy on Dooku, Barriss Offee's first solo assignment saw her lose her entire force and get addicted to a Force-amplifying drug in the vain attempt to save her clones on what turned out to be a pointless mission, and the future Grand Inquisitor was literally a Dark Side exterminator and got exposed to untold horrors before Ahsoka's trial and Barriss' fall damaged the faith in the Jedi that had kept him going right before he identified Darth Sidious (who probably got the scare of his life when a Jedi Sentinel went to him and told him he knew he was a Sith and was defecting).

When you get to know the background and lore created before the more famous shows, you get that while the Jedi failed Anakin most of the problem came from his extreme attachment to his loved ones and tunnel vision (had he petitioned to learn healing techniques to make childbirth safe he'd have got exactly what he wanted).

See, again, while I do agree with a lot of this

1.) my previous point of how none of this is presented in the main movies. It’s all supplementary material that try to fill in criticisms, which you have to watch all of to understand.”

2.) Anakin might have had extreme attachment and some tunnel vision, and while I do hold him accountable, I do place much more of the blame for the root of the problem on the Jedi Order than on him. Because Anakin was a child when he first came to the Order. He was like. 9. They should have been able to help teach him to handle that stuff better. And in the long run Palpatine is the one to blame for all of this because he’s a manipulative bitch, but if the Order had helped Anakin more with what he was dealing with, then it’s more likely that he would’ve stuck to them when Palpatine became a bit more sketch. 

[royallyprincesslilly]

Kismet {10}

Henry Cavill x Famous OFC Aliya Taylor

Warning: Slow Burn, Mild Cursing, Dialogue Heavy, Small Time Jump, Mild Angst

Words: 5.8k

Summary: Aliya is a singer turned model turned actress. Since she was fifteen, she’s been creating her empire in the entertainment world. As the daughter of a famous fashion model/designer and Hollywood director, you’d think life is easy for her, but her past has been anything but easy. Due to past trauma, she’s forever changed and no longer trusts any man that is not in her family and a select few in her team. She’s sworn off love and serious relationships and has planned never to fall again, but love isn’t something that can be planned. It just happens when it’s meant to. Can Aliya outrun a love that seems hellbent on holding tight to her, a love that is Kismet?

Note: The chapter includes some French. I’ve added the translations best I could. Some from memory, but some from Google translate. If the translations are off, I apologize.

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As always, thank you so much for reading. ❤️❤️

***Loosely Edited/Proofread***

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It didn’t take long for you to realize you’d either offended him or hurt his feelings. It was clear from how stiff he was when he walked away from you. Everything about him was different. You’d wanted to call after him or chase him down the street to explain, but something kept your feet planted right where they were. What made you feel worse was that he didn’t switch up. He still called you to say good morning and wish you a safe flight again the next morning. When you’d landed back in LA, he’d picked up your call on the second ring. He didn’t speak like a man with a grudge or chip on his shoulder. He was the same, Henry.

 Over the next few days, he kept the same energy and consistency. It was something you didn’t expect, but it was something refreshing. You thought about him more and more, and every conversation you had, you wanted to apologize for your stark reaction, but every time you opened your mouth to, the right words never seemed to form. It also didn’t take you long to notice that he wasn’t asking again. You doubted he ever would.

 As the days ticked off and his departure date grew nearer and nearer, you could sense the disappointment in him, and that disappointment came across more and more like hurt. With each passing day, you felt more of an urgency in you that you couldn’t understand. You felt as if your time was dwindling, and you only had so much time to do what was right even though you didn’t know what that was. The day he called to let you know he was about to board his flight, you sat in your living room you wished him safe travels, then hung up, which left you just staring out for hours, wondering how big of a mistake you’d made.

 “What’s up with you?”

 Alicia’s voice beside you brought you out of your daze. You groaned, then dropped your head back onto the couch.

 “Henry asked me to go on vacation with him,” you blurted out, unable to hold it in anymore.

 It had been six days since your time together in London, and you hadn’t been able to get it off your mind or tell anyone. When Alicia didn’t respond right away, you looked to her to find a confused expression on her face.

 “Confused.”

 You groaned again then explained everything that happened in London to her. The only things you left out were the butterflies in your belly the entire night, the feeling of breathlessness every time he came close, the strong urge to touch him any and everywhere, and your impulses that went against everything you’d stood for the last few years.  So all in all, you told her everything.

 The huge smile on Alicia’s face was expected. You rolled your eyes. “Stop smiling.”

 “Okay.”

 Her smile remained pasted to her lips, and it was growing with every second. Annoyance flared up in you.

 “Stop!”

 “I can’t!”

 She began giggling.

 “You like him, like really, really like him,” Alicia accused, right on the money.

 “I do,” your let slip without thought. “I don’t know why or how. I’ve known him maybe two months tops, and we’ve only been out four or five times. I know nothing about him, nothing at all. I don’t know what I like. I don’t know if I like him or his looks and body,” you blurted as each revelation came to mind.

 “Oh, you definitely like his looks and body, but I think this is something different, something you’ve never experienced before,” Alicia revealed.

 You rolled your eyes again, then stared at the ceiling. She made perfect sense, you thought.

 “You’ve heard about love at first sight.”

 You sprang up looking at her like she was bat shit crazy.

 “Bite your heathenous tongue.”

 Alicia busted out laughing then. You remained silent. This was no laughing matter. Especially when the “L” word was waved around willy nilly.

 “Oh god, that was not funny,” you said.

 “Stop being so dramatic. Look, I know neither of us has ever experienced it; hell, I said it was a fucking bullshit, but--.”

 “Don’t Leece,” you cautioned, not ready to remotely go anywhere near that landmine.

 “Okay, look,” she began scooting closer to you. “This is what I know. You have these ridiculous rules.”

 You glared at her, but she didn’t back down. Before she opened her mouth to speak again, you stood and walked off toward the kitchen, knowing she’d follow. Once in the kitchen, you dug in the fridge for a can of ginger ale, hoping it would settle your stomach, and like clockwork, Alicia reached in also to retrieve one for herself. As she opened the can and took a seat at the island, she continued.

 “So your ridiculous rules. I know they’ve kept assholes away this long and has made it possible for you to keep your head above water. I get it, and I’m all for self-perseverance. You know I am. But--,” she smacked her lips as if she was getting ready to tell you off.

 “Your rules—honey--,” she sighed. “They’re bullshit, and they are keeping you from developing something substantial, something real, something—true. Now I get that was the point in them in the first place. However, Mr. Blue eyes and British accent,” she finished reading you like an open book.

 You gulped the soda, ignoring the burn of the acid on your tongue. It was a trick for the brain. Give it something else to focus on, so you got a moment of quiet. It always worked, but it was only temporary. When you lowered the can, you hissed.

 “Fuck!”

 “I like him. Amaya likes him. I don’t think he has ulterior motives, and I’m an excellent judge of character. I never liked Evan for a reason.”

 You scoffed and closed your eyes, trying to get your brain to quiet down.

 “So what do I do?”

 “You know what to do. Lucky for you, it’s what you really wanna do anyway.”

 “He’s on vacation,” you said.

 “Yep, he’s on vacation,” Alicia reiterated.

 “I don’t know where.”

 “It’s a good and lucky thing you’re a member of a royal family no matter how much you like to denounce it. You can find him.”

 A lightbulb went off in your head and giving you your big ah-ha moment. You ran out of the kitchen to the living room where you’d left your phone. You sat then debated what you were about to do. You’d never gone to lengths like this for anyone. It took almost two minutes for you to make the call, and as you did, you wondered if this was a little wrong. It took two minutes to make the call and another two minutes before you had the information you needed. Once you ended the call, Leece was sitting on the arm of the couch with an expectant look on her face.

 “So, where is he?”

 “Bandol, France,” you answered.

 “Ooh, so luxurious. Go get him.”

 You stood then hugged her. You didn’t know how she wasn’t tired of your ass after all the years of knowing you and being the one to talk you down off your ledges or up on your horse.

 “Do me a favor, best friend.”

 “What?”

 “Turn him black, so he never goes back!”

 You snorted so hard that it hurt. Your laugh was so powerful that your stomach hurt after just seconds.

 “Shut up, oh my god.”

 For the next hour or so, Alicia helped you pack while you made the call to your manager to let him know you were planning to take some time off. When you said the words, he even laughed, finding it hard to believe you. It took some convincing to let him know you were serious, but once he got it, he was quick to help, saying you needed a vacation. Turns out he’d been trying to find the right time to bring it up. You had a quick meeting where he assured you he’d tie off all your loose ends for the next two weeks to start. By the end of the call, you were halfway to the airport to get to your waiting private plane.

 Nervousness was the least of what you felt. Anxiousness, fear, doubt, and nauseousness were right up there. After an hour in the air, it had only grown. You kept worrying if you were doing the right thing or if he’d think you were absolutely insane to fly across the world without a technical invitation. The more you thought about it, the more you doubted what you were doing.

By the time you landed in France, your nerves had pretty much mellowed out, for the most part. The beautiful scenery alone should have worked to calm you and give you a sense that you were on vacation, but it didn’t. Using the email you’d gotten from the family’s security services, you gave the taxi driver the address to where Henry was. As you drove through the town, you marveled at the views and tried to enjoy the warm breeze. When the car stopped in front of an impressive villa, your jaw dropped. He sure didn’t go low key, you thought.

 “Mademoiselle Mlle serait -vous que je apporter vos sacs à l'intérieur? {Miss, would you like me to bring your bags inside?}

 You contemplated Pierre, the driver’s question for a few seconds.

“Eh bien, ce n'est pas chez moi, si je le faisais, je serais trespassing. {Well this is not my home and if I did that it would be trespassing.}

 That realization had you making a face that said you knew it was questionable.

 “Comme un homme que je ne serais pas fâché de trouver un ange comme toi-même dans ma maison. {As a man I would not be angry to find an angel such as you in my home}, he said with a wide grin.

 Such a sweet talker, you thought as you laughed. I smile. 

 “Voilà monsieur douce. Je vais attendre ici. {That is sweet sir, but I will wait here}

 “Ici, sur les étapes ? Seul? {Here, on the steps. Alone?}

 He sounded like it was something he’d never heard of. You got out of the car then looked around for the best spot to sit and wait.

 Oui, je vais bien. Merci de votre aide. {Yes, I will be fine, thank you for your help.}

 Pierre came around the car then opened the trunk to take your bags out. One by one, he brought them to the steps of the villa. Once he finished, you dug into your purse and handed him four hundred dollar bills, and pressed them into his palm. He looked shocked but appreciative. After thanking him, he drove off, leaving you there with the seaside cliff view as your company.

 You texted Alicia and Amaya, letting them know you’d gotten there but knew they probably wouldn’t see it right away, thanks to the time difference. You sat for a few minutes only to get up and pace back and forth for another few minutes. Then you switched and did it over and over. Your brain made it feel like it was an eternity that passed, but you knew that couldn’t have been true. You heard a motorcycle approaching and watched as a silverish white one pulled up. You couldn’t tell if it were him, but you had a feeling it was. Once he’d turned the engine off, his movements slowed, and you knew he’d seen you.

 He threw his large leg over the bike then peeled off his helmet, revealing curly hair and a scruffy beard. You gulped. That’s how damn good he looked.

 “Damn.”

 Henry approached you with a confused but cautious look on his face. It did nothing to assure you that you hadn’t made a colossal mistake. Unable to hold his gaze, you looked over what he wore, preppy sky blue shorts and a white polo shirt that was unbuttoned, showing off sprigs of chest hair. You’d imagined he had chest hair, and this was your answer.

 “Aliya?”

 “H—hi,” you stuttered.

 Henry looked around like he was wondering how the hell you got there.

 “What’re you doing here?”

 “In France?”

 “On my doorsteps,” Henry clarified.

 “Oh, um—right. I can see how this would—look. Strange, alarming even. I promise there is an explanation.”

 Nervousness overtook you, making you giggle. Henry stood there patiently waiting for said explanation, but the look of bewilderment didn’t go away.

 “How did you know where I was, first of all?”

 Damn it, you thought, trying to find your voice. “Eh-em, well—I called in a favor and—had your cellphone tracked.

 His eyes widened, and you braced yourself for the freak-out you suspected was coming.

 “What!?”

 With your face scrunched, you decided to face it head-on and nodded. “Yeah. Saying that out loud now, I can understand how it sounds and even how it looks.”

 “So, you know people who will just track a phone?”

 Uh-oh, you thought, trying to find an answer that wouldn’t give anything away.

 “I do,” you slowly answered.

 Henry stared at you, and you knew he was weighing his options on whether to call the cops to get your ass out of there or listen to more. It was hard to read him, harder than it had been the last few times you'd been together.

 “You’re freaking out. Look, I’m not crazy; I promise I’m not. I just—I had to find you.”

 “Why? You made yourself perfectly clear a week ago,” Henry threw in your face.

 “I did,” you began, groaning from exhaustion. You sat down on one of the steps and sighed.

 “God, I have lived with a set of rules for the last three years. These rules have helped me tremendously. They’ve helped me keep people at arm’s length and have helped me protect myself from everyone, whether they meant ill or good. I’ve lived with these rules and have never broken any of them—not one. Then here you come.”

 You dropped your head into your hands and released a heavy breath before you continued.

 “Here you come, and within less than a month, I’d broken three, and that alarmed the shit out of me. I wasn’t prepared and didn’t know how to deal with it. Then you go asking me to go away on vacation with you and—that would have broken another rule, and that would have led to me breaking all of them on this vacation,” you blurted out.

 Henry stood there, staring at you with yet another unreadable expression plastered across his face. Your head said shut up, but your lips kept moving.

 “I couldn’t accept, then this last week I realized that I didn’t want to be anywhere but here—on this vacation—with you, and if it meant breaking another rule, then it would be broken. So here I am.”

 Henry sighed, “What are these rules?”

 Uh-oh, you thought again. You were sure after you told him he’d run for the hills. Even Amaya and Alicia made fun of your neurotic ass because of these obsessive rules. You chewed your bottom lip, reluctant to voice them. Henry didn’t look to be in any hurry, though; he just waited.

 Realizing he still hadn’t kicked your ass to the proverbial curb, you said a silent prayer, took a breath, and sang like a canary.

 “Um—in no particular order—one, no outings that have been labeled as a date, only hanging out is acceptable. Two, no back to back outings and or hanging out. Three, no hand-holding. Four, no one sees my house or how to get to my house. Five, No one comes to my house at all, not even to hang out and definitely not sleep. Six, I don’t hang out or sleep at anyone’s home. Seven, no kissing on the first date. Eight, no kissing on the second date. Nine, no kissing on the third date. Ten, no kissing with my eyes closed, period. Eleven, no PDA. Twelve, no gifts of any kind. Thirteen, no emotional intimacy. Fourteen, no vacations together. Fifteen, no sex with anyone you can see yourself with longer than three months. Sixteen, no meeting families or friends on either side. Seventeen, Never relinquish control.”

 Hearing them out loud, you would have run in the other direction without looking back. He didn’t move, though, hell he didn’t even speak. He didn’t have to; his face was doing all the talking you needed. With bugged eyes, slightly parted lips, and his arms crossed over his chest, he looked the perfect picture of an outright terrified man.

 “Those are a lot of rules.”

 You nodded. “Yes, they are.”

 He took several moments before speaking again. “How do you keep them all in mind?”

 “Practice.”

 “Wow, I don’t—I don’t know what to--.”

 His words drifted off, and you watched him rub the back of his neck.

 “So you’re willingly going to break number six and thirteen.”

 He already had them memorized; you thought as you nodded. “Pretty much.”

 Henry studied you for several more moments and then breathed out before he walked up the front doorsteps. You watched him unlock it before he looked back at you.

 “Please come in.”

 You didn’t know if he was serious or not, so you didn’t move. He must have sensed it because he beckoned you over with an added smile. Sighing, you slowly walked up the steps toward him and the door.

 “I’ll get your bags,” he said before he walked back down the steps to gather your bags two by two.

On his second trip, you walked inside with him and looked around. It looked like a mix of Mediterranean, coastal, and traditional décor. The ceiling's wooden beams complemented the neutral colors of the furniture and the wood strewn around the foyer.

 “Make yourself at home,” Henry said before he walked out again for the remainder of your bags.

 You took a few more steps and looked at the art on the wall. They all were a mix of expressionist and abstract, and all made you feel relaxed. You could see him living here, and you wondered if he were renting this or if he owned it. A photograph on the sideboard resting against the wall caught your eye. It was of him and four other men all wearing athletic clothing, smiling widely and holding up medals. They all resembled each other, making you deduce they could have been his brothers. You walked further inside the home toward what looked like a living room and touched the white brick accent wall. It was a pleasing aesthetic that was set.

“Wow. This is--.”

 You didn’t know the right word. Henry approached and stood beside you as you continued looking around.

 “This is an architectural dream, and very different than I thought.”

 “You’ve thought about my home?”

 You paused with your hand on the back of one of the creamish, grey tufted couch and turned to look at him.

 “Um, the environment to which you lay your head,” you cautiously corrected. “They say someone’s home tells you everything you need to know about them.”

 “Is that so?”

 You nodded and continued walking around the living room. The view from the arched window was beautiful.

 “Let me give you a tour,” Henry offered, leading the way out of the living room.

 He walked around, showing you each room, and they all resembled one another. You could imagine him in each room. Sitting in the armchair by the big window sipping coffee or kicking his feet up while watching tv at night before going to bed. When he showed you the kitchen, you pictured him cooking shirtless, making some French dish. It all screamed him.

 “This is all yours?”

 “I bought it as a holiday home for my family. I wanted us to have a place where we could go on holiday either together or separately. That is why it’s so big. There are a lot of us.”

 “That’s nice,” you answered.

 You nodded and followed him outside the large French-style glass doors. As soon as you stepped out, you could help but gasp at the beauty.

 “Oh my god. Holy shit, this—this is—incredible. Wow.”

You gaped at the comfortable sitting area that was primed for dining outdoors. You went up the few steps and turned to the right, and marveled at the inground pool and the greenery of France.

“It is.”

 Smiling, you turned to him then scoffed. “Wow.”

 Henry smiled softly, then dipped his head. When he did, the smile fell.

 “I’ll show you where you’ll sleep,” he said before turning to walk back inside. You took one more look around and followed him.

 It wasn’t a quick walk by no means. You noted it was probably the other side of the house. When he stopped and opened a large, heavy wooden door, you walked in first. The room wasn’t obnoxiously large. It was comfortable and minimally decorated. You walked to the window and smiled. It was the perfect view of the cliffside.

 “Is it to your liking?”

 You spun while nodding your head. “Of course, thank you.”

 “No problem,” Henry replied. Your eyes locked for a few seconds, but he was the one to look away.

 “I’ll bring your bags.”

 He walked out, leaving you to admire the view some more and formulate a better plan. You’d only thought as far as finding him. You didn’t plan to tell him everything about your rules, and now you didn’t know how to proceed. You felt awkward.

 “God Aliya, stalker much?”

 Sighing, you began pacing the floor, hoping something would come to you while you tried not to imagine him thinking of you like some crazy chick. Your phone went off, and you were thankful for the distraction. You plopped into the chair beside the window and went through your emails and messages, answering the urgent work ones, quickly getting lost in them.

 “Here you go,” Henry began as he placed your bags on the far left side of the bedroom. You heard him come in, but being in the middle of an email, you didn’t look up, just mumbled a thank you.

 “I thought a vacation was supposed to mean no work.”

 Looking up at him, you released a breath. “I’m sorry, I—I got distracted, and I got sucked in.”

 Smiling, you put your phone down, hoping he would see it as a peace offering. He was leaned against the wall with one leg crossed over the other.

 “I understand. It happens to me too. I personally set everyone I work with, or for on a separate ring and alert sound, so I know not to answer or check it.”

 “Everyone? That has to be at least fifty people,” you said.

 “Try sixty-five, seventy.”

 “Wow. How long did that take you?”

 “Ha—hmm, about forty-five minutes maybe an hour,” Henry added.

 “Is that what you think I should do?”

He shrugged, then raked his fingers through his curly tousled hair, and you wondered if he’d even bothered using a comb or a brush this whole time. He didn’t look disheveled, though. He looked perfect like this.

“I can’t say. It’s up to you.”

 Again, your eyes locked, and you were just waiting, wishing for him to give you any hint at all that he wasn’t done with you and just being polite and hospitable.

 “Thank you for bringing my bags, Henry.”

 “You’re welcome.” He smiled then spoke again. “Out of curiosity, how long were you staying? You have enough bags to say a few weeks.”

 “Um—one thing you’ll learn about me, I overpack all the time. I can’t seem to, no matter how hard I try, but I’d rather have something I need rather than not have it when I need it,” you answered.

 He nodded, then uncrossed his legs before changing his position.

 “How—how long are you staying?”

 “I planned on being here for about a week, maybe.”

 You nodded, “Then?”

 “Not sure. I’m not making plans for the next three and a half weeks at least,” he answered.

 Tens of things flashed through your head to say, but you were still trying to read him and the situation. After a few seconds of silence, Henry spoke again.

 “You’re—uh—you’re welcome to tag along wherever the wind blows.”

 You didn’t like the sound of “welcome to,” but you also knew you’d already fucked the situation up, so you shouldn’t have any expectations. You sighed, then bit your bottom lip, trying to stop your lips from opening. You had the worst censor.

 “Welcome? Huh, somehow that sounds different than an—invitation.”

 Henry scoffed then nodded. “Last time I gave you an invitation, you didn’t really accept it or gracefully decline it.”

 Damn, you thought. He’d thrown that right at you with force. You deserved it. He was right, you hadn’t accepted the invite, and it was done in true Aliya fashion—avoidance.

 “Wow. Did you really just call me ungraceful?”

 You bit your bottom lip, fighting the smile.

 “You called yourself that,” Henry answered.

 Another long stretch of silence filled the room, and the longer it went on, the more nervous you got. Henry pushed off the wall.

 “I’ll make some lunch,” he said before he walked out.

 Once he was gone, you breathed out and tried to catch your breath. There was something about him that always gave off an overwhelming feeling. It wasn’t a feeling of you being afraid but in a heightened state. Of what? You were still trying to figure it out. You slowly began unpacking your things while setting all your contacts on an alert. You were going to try his strategy to see if you would actually be able to enjoy this vacation.

 About an hour later, you walked out of what was designated as your room and walked through the house, looking into rooms with open doors and around corners for where he could be. Following your nose and the delicious scent of roasted vegetables, you stepped into the kitchen expecting to see him, only to find it empty. Backtracking, you walked to the opened doors that led outside and saw him putting down a bottle of white wine on the rustic walnut table that had two place settings filled with the fruits of his labor.

 “Right on time. I was going to come knocking.”

 You smiled and tipped your head back to take in the wood and vines wrapped around the pergola.

 “No need. I cannot get over this view,” you said.

 “Do you come to France a lot?”

 “No. I come once in a while, usually for work.”

 “Ever Baldon?”

 You approached the table, sliding your finger along the Rattan chair that accompanied the table.

 “No.”

 “Nice, so you’re a tourist,” Henry said with a smile as he pulled out a chair for you.

 You returned his smile and sat down. “I am.”

 As he walked to his seat adjacent to yours, you took in the spread before you. “What do we have here?”

 “Avocado salad with mozzarella and roast beef sliders on Fiselle,” Henry explained as he pointed out everything he mentioned.

 You were impressed. “Wow. Did you make this?”

 His smile was wide; he looked proud. “I did. The roast beef was leftover from last night, and the avocado salad was quick. The bread was store-bought from the bakery in town, though.”

 It all looked delicious. “So you can cook.”

 “Yes, I can. My mother taught me; she taught all of us. She said it was her gift to our future significant others.”

 You chuckled, already liking his mother. Henry motioned for you to try something, and you wasted no time doing so. You placed a forkful of the salad into your mouth, your eyes instantly closing. You moaned at the avocado's buttery taste and how the flavors of the mozzarella and lemony but sweet vinaigrette complemented the tang of the vegetables.

 “This is good.”

 Henry’s smile widened as he picked up one of his sliders.

 “Thank you. Do you like French food?”

 “I do.”

 He nodded again as he finished chewing what was in his mouth. “Good, you’ll be eating a lot of it.

 You couldn’t help but smile because it sounded like he planned on cooking for you more often. You liked the sound of that and everything it meant. The two of you ate in relative silence, but it wasn’t an awkward one. You were enjoying the feel of the sun beaming down on you through the vines and the sound of the ocean, you guessed was only a few miles away. You could even smell the salt in the air from it. Henry did look to be in dire need of conversation either. He seemed happy to listen to the song of the birds and the rustling of the leaves. You were glad for it because it gave you the needed time to get your thoughts together.

 However, your thoughts only dwelled on one thing; the prospect of him hating that you were there.

 “Are you freaked out that I’m here?”

 Henry didn’t immediately speak. He lifted his glass and leisurely drank half of it before placing it back on the table. “All honesty, I’m just a little confused,” he began.

 The taste of the wine on your tongue told you there was more than grapes in it. You tasted pear and even strawberries. It tasted like France.

 “Yeah.”

 “I do find it interesting that to you, I’m worth tracking my phone.”

 You smiled and brought the glass back to your lips, using it more as a distraction than anything else.

 “So you don’t plan on calling the FBI and telling them what I did?”

 He snorted and leaned back in his chair. “Nah, you’re safe there.”

 “It’s not as hard as you think. You just need the person’s full name and phone number,” you matter of factly advised.

 “Also, a friend with the skill.”

 You nodded again, not wanting to give anything away. From the corner of your eye, you could see him smiling like a fool trying not to laugh out loud. It was too much for you, and you had to laugh out loud. In seconds, he joined in, and any tension between you melted away.

After lunch, Henry suggested a quick look around, so you hopped on the back of his Ducati, and he gave you the driving tour of the area. He pointed out the bakery that supplied him with all his baked goods, the local butcher where he got the best cuts of meat, and even the local winery. The town was beautiful, and the best part was that it was so close to the beach. It was everything that everyone thought of when they thought of a town on the Côte d'Azur—beautiful, quaint, luxurious, and a ten on the romantic potential scale.

 The entire time Henry remained the perfect gentleman. He kept his hands to himself, allowed you to go first, pulled out chairs, paid for all the small treats you sampled, and kept his language respectful. He was behaving so kind and professional it drove you crazy. The entire time you couldn’t ignore the magnetic pull you felt to him or the attraction that was growing by leaps and bounds thanks to the change of his appearance. He looked so good, and your body recognized it.

 Your eyes always found each other no matter the size of the crowd or how far you were from one another. When your eyes met, they lingered so long the butterflies in your belly swarmed wildly, making you feel as if you’d run a marathon. You could even tell by the way he looked at you that he might have been feeling the same attraction, but still, he stayed away.

By the time you took a break, the sun was gone, and it was dinner time. Henry chose a restaurant with the perfect ocean view and the sweetest breeze. There was nothing that could have been more perfect. As you sat at the table across from him, eating a classic seaside French meal—Bouillabaisse. As you ate, you listened to a story Henry told about his childhood and the reason why his parents had to put him and his brothers in different sports. It turned out their competitive natures was too much with all of them grouped together, the testosterone needed to be split up.

 It was nice getting a different viewpoint of him. Through his work, you got the professional view, and through the magazines and photoshoots the sex symbol view but hearing personal stories in the town where he’d chosen for holiday because of sentimental reasons at a restaurant he’d probably eaten at tens of times really made you want to get to know him better and give him a real chance. By the time you’d finished your dessert and began on your way back to the villa, you made the choice. Try.

 The house was quiet, and thanks to the windows and doors he’d left open, it smelled of sea salt, lemons, and the lavender that bathed the surrounding hills. It was a smell you’d gladly get used to.

 “Thank you for dinner,” you said once you were in the living room.

 “No need to thank me. You have to eat,” he replied with a polite smile that made you clench your jaw.

 “How um—how long have you been here?”

 “A few days.”

 You nodded but didn’t know what else to say. With the combination of the wine, the aphrodisiac oysters in the Bouillabaisse, and the smell of lavender, you felt a gentle lull of relaxation that made you feel ten times shier than you usually were. Henry didn’t speak though his eyes looked as if he had plenty to say. After a few minutes of silence, a confused look washed across his face before he looked down and sighed.

 “Good night, Aliya.”

 The words caught you off guard, but you nodded and hid it.

 “Good night, Henry.”

 It was a shaky whisper. You then watched Henry turn from you and walk off in the opposite direction than where your room was. You stood there for a few moments longer, debating with yourself on if you should follow him or not. When you thought to, you had no idea what you’d say when you did. When you finally decided just to call it a night, you’d stood in the dark living room for almost five minutes.

 After a quick shower, you laid in bed staring at the full moon through the window, hoping somehow sleep would claim you, but after forty minutes of tossing and turning, you gave up and watched the moon instead. For the first time in months, you didn’t feel the urge to work. All you felt was a stillness in you that was very new—but welcomed all the same.

 “Tomorrow is another day, Aliya. Make it right.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[masterjedilenawrites]

The Sniper and The Medic: Chapter 8

Starring: Crosshair, OC Joan Vo, Tech, Hunter, Wrecker, OC clones

Chapter Warnings: Aaaangst, one tiny innuendo

Taglist: @proadhog @skippyhopperwisdom

AO3 Link (In case you like it better over there, it’s okay, no judgement)

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Chapter 8: Keep the Doctor Away

Crosshair practically skipped down the hallways. Or, at least he felt like he was skipping. Anyone else who saw him wouldn't have suspected he felt anything other than his usual apathy.

He'd started the day with Hunter, getting tattoos. Technically cadets weren't allowed to, but they were only ten days out from deployment, and the Kaminoans had basically stopped caring what they were doing anyway. Tech managed to reprogram an old medical droid to do them. Hunter had been really ambitious with his, sounding just a little insane as he explained his idea for some half-face skull thing. Crosshair went with something much more simple, but he loved the way it turned out.

And he couldn't wait to show Joan.

He'd convinced himself overnight that she was into him. She hadn't asked the others to do things with her outside of their check-ups like she had with him. She always smiled when she saw him. And she'd even said she was flattered that he blushed around her. It just made sense.

And today, after he'd show off his tattoo and let her check on how well his ribs had healed, he planned to ask her to deploy with them. That way he wouldn't have to worry about saying good-bye. He hadn't cleared it with Hunter or any of the others yet, but they wouldn't mind. They all loved Joan.

He came upon the last corner before her office with equal parts eagerness and determination. But just as he turned it, he heard the indistinguishable sound of her laughter... hers, and a few others'.

Regs.

On instinct, he jumped back, crouching low and peering ever so slightly around the corner. He could still clearly see, and hear, the scene that was happening down the corridor.

"No you didn't!" Joan was saying through her giggles. She was standing just in front of her office door along with two clone cadets in their blue uniforms.

"Yeah, that definitely didn't happen," one of them said, looking amusedly at his identical brother with one cocked eyebrow.

"Yes it did!" the other insisted. "I caught the entire tray, with one hand, and not a single drop of food spilled." 

His brother rolled his eyes, but Joan just smiled. "Well then, Mickey, I'm impressed. Who knew you had such quick reflexes."

The clone visibly puffed out his chest and grinned. "Oh I'm quick alright. Probably more than anyone here, honestly."

"Maybe you should've been called Quickie, then," the other said, causing Joan to bend over in more laughter.

Crosshair couldn't watch any more. He pushed away from the wall and stormed back the way he'd came. Jaw clenched, blood boiling...  It'd been a while since he felt this angry. In about as much time as he had decided Joan liked him, he now determined she most definitely did not.

How could he have been so stupid? So full of himself? She smiled for everyone, not just him. And clearly she flirted with all the clones, too. She even had the audacity to call them her brothers. He should've trusted his first impression of her, all those weeks ago in that cold, sterile examination room, when she'd disregarded all formality and protocol, when she'd claimed to have him figured out with her stupid, hand-written list. 

Detached from emotions, she had written. Well, the joke was on her, because he most certainly was not detached from any emotion right now, thanks to her.

By the time he made his way back to the hangar, however, he had managed to calm himself down a little. At least enough to put back on his usual front of cold indifference, so his brothers would be none the wiser. He only barely paid attention to Hunter as he explained they'd do a quick sim run before putting on the finishes touches to the Havoc Marauder that evening. 

They filed out toward the training room, but Hunter stopped him in the doorway. The tattooed half of his face was still covered in a healing patch, but his expression was clear. No one could hide from Hunter.

"What's wrong?" he asked, and then motioned to his abdomen. "Did Joan not clear you?"

"No," Crosshair huffed. "I'm fine."

He tried to shoulder his way past but Hunter held him back with a hand on his shoulder. There was a pause as Hunter's eyes scanned over his face, searching for the answers his brother wouldn't give up so easily. When he couldn't find any, his features softened in defeat.

"Look, Cross..." He let go of his shoulder and instead ran his fingers through his hair. "I... I don't know what's going on with you and Joan. Maybe it's nothing. Maybe I'm just being paranoid. But... if I'm not, if there is something... I need it to stop."

Crosshair blinked.

"We can't afford to be distracted, not now." Hunter stopped hesitating with his words, squaring his shoulders and slipping into his leader voice. "I like Joan. She's great. I get it. But we have a mission and she's not part of it. I don't want you to lose focus. And I definitely don't want you to get hurt... your heart, or your ribs."

Hunter gave him a knowing look, which made Crosshair want to strangle him with his bandana. But he held back, mostly because he wasn't sure what to feel anymore. He wanted to take offense and snap at his brother for thinking he would ever prioritize his feelings over their mission. He wanted to panic over the fact that Hunter would not be okay with Joan joining the team like he'd thought. And he wanted to wallow because his brother was right, there was something going on, even if it was just him acting like a silly fool over someone who didn't like him back.

Hunter must have sensed his turmoil, as he didn't continue to lecture or press for some kind of response. He did give a gentle pat on his shoulder before finally stepping aside. Crosshair gladly took the out, trying to regain his composure again as they made their way to join the others in the training room.

* * *

That evening, the four of them shed their armor back in the hangar, tired and sore, but not as overwhelmed as they used to be from their trainings. They had a good rhythm now and had learned to balance action with rest. The training itself had been satisfying, too. Crosshair, especially, was grateful to have had something else to focus on. He had ignored all his previous thoughts and feelings from the day and threw himself into the mission. For a few hours, it was just him and his brothers and his gun. And he almost started feeling just a little better.

But then came Joan.

He was cleaning his rifle on the other side of the ship when he heard Wrecker practically shout out her name. And suddenly, all the emotions from before came surging back, making him sick to his stomach.

"Hey Wrecker," she greeted in return, though it was not in her usual, cheerful tone. "Is Crosshair around?"

"Yep, just over there...."

Crosshair panicked. He did not want to see her. Even if Hunter hadn't warned him to back off, he still didn't feel like engaging. Not now. Maybe not ever. He looked around and saw one of the cargo hatches was open on the ship. He abandoned his gun and quickly slipped inside, leaving the hatch just slightly askew so he could peer through it.

She came around and looked over his equipment but didn't say anything. She looked tired, worn out. He could see the puffiness of her eyes, the almost defeated slouch of her shoulders. A part of him wanted to be concerned, but the rest of him pushed that urge down and stayed hidden.

"He's in the ship," came Hunter's voice, just outside his view. "Went to bed early."

"Is he okay? He was supposed to meet me earlier and didn't show up." She sounded concerned for him. He couldn’t decide if he was touched or annoyed by it.

"He's just been busy," Hunter replied. "Focusing on his training. We don't have much longer."

"Yeah...." Her voice was distant and she chewed her lip in thought. "Well, when he has a free second, can you tell him to come see me? I need to make sure he's healed, sign off and everything."

"Of course."

She started walking away and then paused, giving Hunter a half-hearted smile. "Can't wait to see your new ink."

Hunter chuckled and followed her out, leaving Crosshair to brood in the darkness of the cargo hold alone. He'd end up staying there for most of the night, trying to convince himself to stop caring about her.

She hadn't come because she was worried about him, he told himself. She only wanted to check his wound. She was just doing her job. She had only ever been doing her job. Anything else she might have said, any of the times she'd seemed interested or impressed, didn't mean anything. She didn't seem him any differently than she saw the regs.

So he wasn't going to, either.