#wE SHOULD PLOT SOME MORE THINGS Y ES

[catiuskaa]

new task: valentine’s day.

PAIRING! seungmin x reader ; enemies/rivals2lovers!

SUMMARY: boring classes, boring classmates, boring assignments…to seungmin, everyone is boring even if he’s used to pretend otherwise, but you seem to get on his nerves. you, your stupid poem, and his stupid letter.

WC: 10.6k (OH MY FUCKING GOD)

CW: it’s like fluffy comfort because I say so, kim seungmin supremacy (YES), use of spanglish (just on the text messages bc yes, it’s not relevant to the plot, dw), use of text format for plot convenience (and a whole bunch of emojis and colors), the reader is stupidly short (which i know all about), use of cliché valentine and enemies2lovers tropes (BECAUSE THEY ARE FUN AND THEY WORK), academic rivals (we love to see it), bad student reader x good student seungmin (like bad/mean girl x good boy ish), mentions of the unability to deal with complicated feelings, mentions of masking feelings, slight hint of bullying?, mentions of being followed, use of (pet)names because I don’t like using ‘y/n’: little one, shortie, shortcake, smallable, pretty, (yes i’m just petty like that, sue me), hyunjin as a walking therapist, and the ending is almost a reference to a show i'm obsessed with (not gonna say it so i don't spoil it for you guys hehehe)

SPECIAL THANKS! To my lovely pookies @lyramundana and @tonks-21 for ideas and support, plus also, most of the classmate’s names are thanks to gorgeous gourgeous @stayconnecteed and her spanishverse series bc i’m so invested! Go check all of their blogs out! 100% recommend. son mis chicas españolitas, hehe<3

A/N: alone on valentine’s day? same for me, pookie! but dontchu worry, mister kim seungmin is here to help us out<3 (and if not, we can always help each other😚🫶)

[☆★🌷★☆]

{PROLOGUE: THE GROUPCHAT}

At first, you didn’t really know him.

To think for a second that there was a time where you didn’t know who he was made you sigh. Oh, how you wish you had never, ever encountered him.

…Kim Seungmin.

Some may say that ‘rivals’ or ‘enemies’ is a term that could seem too intense regarding a simple statement: that you two didn’t get along.

But no. Because those kind of words were exactly how you’d define your relationship.

And it had all started the first day of your last year before graduating. When you made the class groupchat.

> you created ‘Year 13-A 😼😼’

> you added ‘lucas🤺’ ‘atenea🛐’ ‘noa🫶’ and 16 more.

> you: guys help, am I missing people?

> you: @ atenea🛐 told me to create this group for homework n stuff but idk if I have everyone’s numbers 😵‍💫😵‍💫

< noa🫶: tía you’re missing two people no?

< lara💋: hala, new people?? 👀

< noa🫶: pero- they’re literally from the other group, girl

< abril🌻: you even know them lara

< abril🌻: se te va la pinza JAJSJA

< miguel📚: sí, there should be 22 people (creo)

> you: oh right, Lix told me!

> you: yeah i’ll add them now, brb 🏃‍♀️

Well.

Rookie mistake.

> you added ‘kim seungmin™️’, ‘hyunjin🎨’

> you: omg i even added everyone

< lucas🤺: omg omg

< kim seungmin™️: omg omg so crazyy

You rolled your eyes, smiling slightly as you texted. But that was just because you hadn’t talked to him before.

Now was a different story, of course. You wouldn’t smile, not for Kim Seungmin.

> you: @ kim seungmin™️ what was crazy is how difficult it was finding someone who had your phone number, lol

< han(gry)🐿️🎙️: fr fr omg

< lucas🤺: que es omg

< lucas🤺: ‘oh me gustas’ ? omg?

< lara💋: you’re such an idiot, asshole

< lucas🤺: ohhh you love me so bad 😌😌😌

< isabel🌸: she knows better lol

< lucas🤺: dude, you’re my sister

< lucas🤺: shouldn’t you be backing me?

< isabel🌸: there’s a fee for that, dude.

You giggled at the stupid teasing, used to your mates’ shenanigans that never ceased to make you laugh.

But then, he replied.

< kim seungmin™️: @ you the only difficult thing here is you reaching graduation

…

Your smile faded.

You read that once more. Then again. And another time.

You chuckled dryly.

What was this guy on about?

> you: ah? wdym?

You remember thinking that maybe he was joking. That maybe he was someone who talked to people with a lot of harsh remarks without really meaning them. That maybe he was trying to be funny, or something.

Other texts showed up, but Kim Seungmin —named like so in the contact Felix had shared to you— wasn’t replying.

< minho🐈: guys wtf it’s 00:12

< lucas🤺: oh he uses the other clock

< lucas🤺: so its am-pm for us but not for you

< lucas🤺: think you’re special? wanna fight?

< noa🫶: lucas just shut up and go to bed

< han(gry)🐿️🎙️: damn right 🛌🛌🛌

< miguel📚: guys, stop texting 😓

> you: yeah guys lol

< minho🐈: no u started this

< minho🐈: u shush

You snickered softly, used to Minho’s humour, quickly playing along.

> you: ?! unfair ☝️🤓

< kim seungmin™️: no, minho’s right for once

< kim seungmin™️: you should shush

< kim seungmin™️: you’re less annoying when you’re quiet

You frowned at your phone, your face contorted in angry confussion.

Who did this guys think he was?

With a huff, you typed a rapid “gtg guys!”, ignoring Seungmin’s texts, and quickly settled your phone back on your pocket, getting off the bus and finally arriving home.

You groaned, the text that that Seungmin idiot had sent still rolling in your head even after you laid in bed. You passed your hands through your hair.

“Difficult to reach graduation?” You mumbled, eyes fixated ln the chatroom the sentence feeling like acid in your mouth.

Kim Seungmin wasn’t ready for how difficult his last year was going to be, solely for his stupid text message.

[☆★🌷★☆]

{ACT 1: NOT A LOVEFOOL… YET}

To be in the same class group than him was slightly tolerable.

Is what you’d like to say if you were in a good mood. But it wasn’t the case.

You were mad. As fuck.

“I just need you to give it a chance,” Miss Fernández stated once more, and you had to hold back to not roll your eyes at her.

“But Miss. I know that this subject is difficult and that he could, uh, help me out with the project,” you muttered reluctantly, because on normal circumstances, you wouldn’t go as far as to let Kim Seungmin help you with chemistry. Not ever.

You weren’t in need of help that desperatly.

And that was a fact, not a matter of ifs, buts, or maybes. That was an absolute. Something that lovely-yet-not-so-much teacher Lucía Fernández, spanish accent and all, was not getting.

“Listen. We both know that your grade is the best I can offer considering your behaviour in my class, despite of your average knowledge of the subject. And in this case, I am offering to set that aside if you work on these following assignments with your classmate Seungmin.”

Her harsh tone was also an absolute, and that made you clench your jaw. You blamed Lucas for her attitude towards you —after all, that one accident with a Bunsen Burner had been mostly his fault—, but you breathed in, trying to offer your most pity-inducing grin.

Judging by her glare, it wasn’t working.

“Miss, I—”

“I’m sorry.” She didn’t look like she was. “It’s my last word. And I think that after coming three days to my office on each of your free periods, this is getting a bit tiring.” She sighed, adjusting her glasses by a soft push of her finger.

Nope. She definetely wasn’t sorry.

Witholding a groan you left her office, and huffed as the door closed behind you, swiftly heading to meet your group of friends when they got out of their Biology lesson in other building within the school grounds.

It was a chilly evening, maybe not too much from what one could expect for the first week of February, still one that made you hide your face in your scarf and you hands in your jacket pockets.

You settled your headphones where they belonged, humming to the music to hold back the need to rant and rave against your chemistry teacher, when your phone dinged.

< henry li🫧: everything ok? saw you in lucifer’s office rn

< henry li🫧: did you do smth again? you cheekyyy 🙊

You gingerly laughed, and started typing out your answer, when, out of nowhere, you bumped against someone, making all of the books that they were carrying fall down of their grasp.

You pursed your lips, then pressed them in a thin line. Staring at their— his back, you saw that his backpack was almost empty. Why the fuck would he carry all of his books on his hands then?

The guy had quickly bent down to get his books back, and you followed too, taking your headphones off and quickly trying to prevent the papers from getting wet because of the floor, that was damp from the rain before, when your hands softly brushed against each other, still, you forced yourself to ignore it.

“I’m so…” the word dissapeared in your mouth.

“It’s ok, don’t… oh.” He blinked, his face showing nothing. For fuck’s sake.

Why did it always have to be him?

He swiftly took all of the things from you, as if your touch could be worse than the wet floor. You frowned, feeling a cold shiver trail up your spine, and you crossed your arms in front of you, struggling to seek some warmth.

“Watch it, little one.” He mocked with a light smirk. “I might accidentally step on you one day.”

You looked at him through your eyelashes. What. An. Idiot. You passed a hand through your hair, chuckling dryly.

“I-,” you sighed, shaking your head sideways. “Nah, you know what? I don’t have time for this crap.” You smiled at him widely, full of sarcasm.

But just when you were about to leave, you felt a tug at your sleeve, the fabric of your shirt not thick enough to hide the warmth of Seungmin’s grasp on your forearm. You frowned, confused at the lack of any uncomfortable feelings because of it. There was none, but rather a need to cover yourself with it and wear it like a jacket.

“Did you fix it?”

You blinked, trying to get your brain to focus on his words.

“Huh?”

He rolled his eyes, but his hand didn’t move an inch. “You said you were going to talk to Miss Fernández so we wouldn’t be partners, which is, well, so mature, congratulations,” he tsked, but then continued. “But did it work?”

You licked your lips and swallowed, your throat feeling dry. What was going on? You needed to focus.

In a harsh motion, you moved your arm away from his grasp. You forced yourself to ignore how your skin missed it.

“I… no. She settled. You- I mean… we…” the word felt awkward when it rolled off your tongue.

We? There was no such thing in between Seungmin and you. No we, no us, no nothing. And it was like that for a reason. One that you had almost forgotten with how softly his slender and warm hand had been holding your forearm. Ugh.

As you struggled to say those infamous words, your phone dinged again, and you mumbled a short “oh, wait,” and unlocked it.

< henry li🫧: leaving me on read, shortcake?

Seungmin stared at your phone, shoving his hands on his pockets when he saw you smile at the bright screen. He bit his lower lip. He hadn't taken all of his stuff out of his backpack just for this.

“So,” he licked his lips, and it almost shocked you the sudden roughness on his tone and demeanour. “Chemistry is easy. We can meet up on Friday in the public library. An hour or two should be enough, even for someone with a fun-sized brain like yours.” He chuckled meanly, the motherfucker.

Ever since that stupid text from him, you had made it your mission to surpass him, or at least reach his level, and to be honest, you were even succeding in some cases, like philosophy, art history, spanish, technical drawing and business studies. But Chemistry?

Chemistry would always kick you in the ass.

Before you were able to come up with a comeback for his stupid snicker, the bell rang, and you felt an arm laying its weight on your shoulders.

“Smallable!” Lucas laughed, then realized that you were talking to a certain someone and ful Ty ly gasped. “Oh my god. Are you two finally dating and I interrupted— AH!” He was interrupted by your elbow hitting his side. Noa and Atenea chuckled behind him.

“No. Seungmin was just leaving.” You huffed with a frown, but then you smiled, almost excessively, like a small maniac. “Right?”

But before he was able to reply or mock you, Atenea spoke, ruining your chances of kicking him away.

“But we all have English now,” she said, and if it had been someone else, like Lucas, you would’ve stepped on his shoe or something. “We’re going to the same place, we can go together.”

Seungmin felt you stare intensively at him. He smiled at Atenea, finding that he enjoyed having you look at him, reason why he loved annoying the shit out of you.

“Sure!” He smiled politely, almost sheepishly, and you bit your lip to hold back the need to scoff at his 'obviously fake' kindness.

Because except for you, the rest of your class —heck, probably the rest of the school— were smitten with Kim Seungmin.

Top of the class, funny, kind, and cutely introverted Kim Seungmin was just a dorky student who tried to get along with everyone.

But that was wrong. And you may not have any proof aside from his mean attitude towards you and only you, but you knew it.

Seungmin had to be more than just a pretty boy with high grades, and it was only with you that he proved you right.

You stayed next to Lucas, hoping that Seungmin would at least stay with your friends and ignore you.

But to your horror, he smiled at you, a pink dust on his cheeks. “If you don’t mind?”

Oh, son of a bitch.

“No… it’s whatever.” You huffed.

Because against his dorky self, to the rest of your class —heck, to the rest of the school— you were the quote on quote “bad student.”

Troublesome, mean, class clown? Check. You laughed at teachers in class with Lucas far more than what could be ignored, the dresscode had always been more of a guide in what to wear, unlike what most students usually followed, and you may have been expelled a bunch of times.

Even if you were somewhat kind to the people in school, and even if they all knew your rivalry with Seungmin, God forbid you were mean to him.

You wouldn’t see the end of it.

And he knew it.

Bitch.

So there you were, walking to English class with your friends plus innocent Seungmin —who no one had called, not even the ghostbusters—, who was snickering and giggling with Atenea about who-gives-a-shit. Something class-related. You couldn’t be bothered to listen.

Lucas chuckled next to you.

“Careful, Spongebob.” He laughed. “Some could say you seem jealous.”

…WHAT?!

“Of… of Kim Seungmin?” You snorted. “Are you on drugs?”

He ruffled your hair. “Sure, sure, keep lying to yourself, shortie.”

Finally, you arrived to class, but before you stepped inside, Seungmin stopped you, whispering in your ear.

“Yeah, shortie.” He teased, his lips almost grazing the shell of your ear. “Don’t be too jealous. We wouldn’t want everyone to know you love me.”

His whisper would’ve been almost enticing if it weren’t for the fact that it was Kim Seungmin the man in question, and he snickered, pushing his glasses back.

But then someone cleared his throat behind you two.

“Care to sit down? I don’t have all day.” Mister Holmes grunted, carrying a monster drink and a coffe at the same time.

That mas was slightly terryifing.

You squinted at Seungmin and then walked to your place at the back of the class, hoping that your cheeks felt warm because of how the teacher had startled you and definetely not your classmate’s honey-like voice.

“Pssst. Heeey,” Noa smiled teasingly, whispering with a smirk. “Pssst. You’re blushing…!”

“Shut up!” You frowned at her, but you were unable to hold back a smile. But it was because of your friend Noa. Not Kim Seungmin.

Mr Holmes cleared his throat, and finished off his monster, throwing it to the bin.

“So. I’ve been hearing from some students in the hallways that you’re all excited for saint valentines’ day.” He stated in a strong voice, one that filled the class with little to no effort. “And sadly so, I was thinking of putting an exam that Wednesday…” he faked a sigh, and you had to hold back a laugh, contrary to the frowns and groans that appeared in your classmates faces. Pfft, what a character. “Unless… you guys want to do something in true valentines fashion.”

Mr Holmes crossed his arms, laying back on his chair, his stare cold and face lacking any kind of emotions.

“Say… any ideas, Mr… Kim?”

Seungmin sat up straight at his name being mentioned, and you rolled your eyes, holding back a mocking smirk.

“I ugh… I wouldn’t want to bother my classmates with a lot of work, sir… but maybe… maybe a writing assingment related to the topic would be… enough?” Seungmin stated, his tone soft and shy, and there was even a blush that trailed up from his neck, but he stayed staight and firm as he spoke.

“A valentine-themed task.” Mr Holmes enunciated as he pondered. “It’s a… decent idea. Any complaints?”

You felt some of your classmates’ eyes on you, and you sighed, crossing your arms in front of you, remaining silent. As long as it wasn’t an exam, you’d accept whatever.

“With that settled, I’ll upload the task online this afternoon, but it’ll have to be written by hand. Be sure to hand in a picture of your assignment on time, or your final grade will be affected.” The teacher turned on his laptop, and started taking assistance.

[☆★🌷★☆]

Time had passed dreadfully slowly, until the bell rang and Mr Holmes dissmissed all of you so everyone could leave for the day.

“A valentine-themed task.” You huffed in annoyance as you stuffed your locker with books you weren’t going to take home.

“I thought it was original.” A voice snickered lowly behind you, and you slapped your locker close, smiling at him.

“Well, Henry. It’s no surprise your taste sucks.”

You chuckled when he rolled his eyes.

“I was waiting for your reply,” he mentioned with a soft tone.

You closed your locker, and you two started walking together. “Oh, sorry, I totally forgot,” you apologized with a smile, but he brushed it off. “Yeah, I was with Lucifer earlier. She’s making me work with Seungmin for this term’s assignments.”

Henry frowned. “And we hate that guy… right…” you chuckled.

“Exactly. We don’t like him.”

“So then, don’t do it. You were going to meet him to study, right?” You nodded, smirking slightly at him.

“We agreeded to meet on Friday to start, in the library.” You added, watching his smirk widen. “What are you thinking?”

He stopped walking, smiling at you. “There’s this club that opened recently. Been wanting to go have a look. Apparently, it’s like exclusive and shit. And it’s Friday.” His light-coloured eyes shined as he looked at you. “Meet me there?”

You grinned cheekily.

“Sure. Can’t wait.”

[☆★🌷★☆]

You hadn’t noticed Seungmin on the school bus until this year.

Because he had made himself noticeable, sitting at the back of the bus, a couple seats away from you, but oh, dorky Seungmin was always friend of everyone, sheepishly starting conversation with any kinds of people in the bus, no matter the year they were in.

Before his text, you had even thought he was cute as he gingerly chatted with a group of kids who were probably starting high school.

“Is it too difficult?” A little girl asked.

And it surprised you how he turned to her and smiled, almost tugging at your heart strings, eyes like crescent moons.

“It’s only difficult if you stop trying. And we don’t give up, right?” He stated cheerfuly, and all the kids shined at his sheepish and bashful brightness, high-fiving the girl that talked to him.

You forced yourself to shove those memories to the back of your mind. That Seungmin wasn’t real. And you didn’t like him. The real him. Right?

“Oi, Kim Seungmin.” You called, as it was only you two left on the bus.

He was surprised at your call, but only side-eyed at you, lazily raising his brows, signalling that he was listening. You frowned.

See? You thought to yourself. He’s mean. He isn’t sweet, nor cute. Focus.

“What kind of lame ass idea was that?” You huffed with a mean smile. “A valentine-themed assignment.” You snorted.

His bus stop was close, so he ignored you as he picked up his coat and backpack, but you kept on talking. “You know? Hallmark office called, they want their boring clichés back,” you mocked, laughing.

Backpack on and coat hanging on his arm, he stared at you, and waited for a red light to walk to your seat.

He settled next to you, still staring at you as you chimed mean remarks about his originality and such and such.

“Anything else to mumble? I couldn’t hear you from down there.” He snorted meanly, and you were too focused on annoying him that you didn’t notice his stare at your lips as he licked his own.

You rolled your eyes. “You’re such a lame guy. He gave you the chance to choose, and you chose that piece of—?!”

His lips tasted as sweet as his voice that day with those little kids.

You felt his hand slowly creep up and cradle your face, his eyes closed as he kissed you, and slowly, your eyes closed too.

It was sweet. So sweet. But what was it? It was a flavour that you knew. Its sweetness was so familiar, but you couldn’t seem to figure out what was it.

You kissed him back, and he let out a surprised whine as you sighed, your hands, which had been frozen on his shoulders, waiting for your order to push him away, slowly followed up and remained on his face, your thumbs almost stroking his cheeks.

You wanted needed to know what he tasted like.

But it was when your hands went into his hair that he sighed too, melting under your touch, that your brain clicked.

…

what were you doing?

…

WHAT WERE YOU DOING?!

You pushed him away, and your breath hitched.

He didn’t look like fake Seungmin.

In front of you was not the innocent boy who had straight A’s and was shy enough to not be able to say no to a lot of things, who sheepishly spoke up in class, or who treated everyone with a bashful kindness that was so endearing.

This Seungmin was different. His glasses had a bit of a fog in them, his hair was all messed up, and his lips were plush, pink from your tinted gloss and slightly swollen from your kiss.

This Seungmin was a wreck, all flustered and kissable, and he looked like a mess.

But it felt real.

And for a second, you wanted to kiss him again, yearning to figure what that kiss tasted like, the word for it almost in the tip of your tongue.

He panted, struggling to catch his breath.

“Finally,” he huffed with a smile, but his dark eyes didn’t match the mocking in his tone. A small part of your mind thought that they looked prettier than any light eyes you had ever seen. “So you were able to shut up, after all.” He gulped, still panting.

He moved away from you slowly, as you remained there, frozen, like a piece of art in front of him, cheeks blushed, lips flushed and parted as your eyes stared at him, an emotion much different from this evening.

He found himself enjoying this one even more.

“Eh… T-this is my bus stop.” He muttered when the bus stopped. Maybe it wasn’t, but he didn’t care. He felt like he would have the energy to run home if needed. “I-I’ll… see you tomorrow.”

You blinked as he stood up and walked away.

What…

What had just happened?

[☆★🌷★☆]

{ACT 2: UNDER THE STREETLIGHT}

After avoiding Seungmin like the plague all Thursday, only looking at his back when you zoned off in class, Friday arrived earlier than expected.

You hadn’t been able to concentrate at all, the thought of his sweet taste lingering in your mouth, almost letting you feel the ghost of his lips pressed against yours.

“Hello? Earth to… oh, you’re awake, Jesus.” Abril looked at you with a smile, but she was unable to hide her worried look.

“Of course I am,” you mumbled, shaking your head sideways. “What’s going on?”

“You haven’t even touched your delicious and totally-not-overcooked pasta.” Lara mentioned the cafeteria lunch as she poked it whith her fork, full of humour. “It leads to believe that you’re dealing with something far more interesting that the technical drawing homework, that’s for sure.”

You bit your lip, hesitating.

“Is it because Henry Li has been ignoring you?” Noa mentioned softly.

You blinked, puzzled. “Huh?”

He’d been ignoring you? Now that she had mentioned, maybe that could’ve happened. Maybe you would’ve realized if you hadn’t been so focused on Seungmin and whatever-happened-that-cannot-and-should-not-be-remembered-every-five-minutes…

…or maybe you should look for an easier name for it.

“Uh, no, he invited me to this new place today, actually,” you brushed your hair with your hand mindlessly. “But I’m fine. Really. Just tired.” You smiled at the girls, and joined in at their conversation.

After lunch, you separated from Lara and Noa, who had literature, and Abril, who had been hanging out with a guy called Jeongin from her photography club recently, and so you headed to the study room.

It was a quiet place, quieter that what you had initially expected for a high school study room. Matter of fact, you thought it was a pity that the school closed it after class, considering that in that case you wouldn’t have to walk to the public library.

You opened the door silently, finding that there were barely any students, only three or four people studying silently. You were heading towards a lonely corner so you could listen to music in a high volume without having to pay attention if it could be heard through your headphones. Or maybe, considering that it hadn’t been a lie and that you had slept like four hours maximum, you could probably rest there until the bell rang.

You snickered when you looked to your right, finding someone struggling with the technical drawing homework that had been assigned that morning, the one that Lara and Noa had been talking about.

You gently tapped the guy’s shoulder, but spoke before he even turned.

“You’re missing this incline here,” you whispered on his ear, your arms coming above his shoulders, placing your hands above his, placing the square and bevel on the right angle. “It should be seen, but with dotted lines, get it? That way the side-view makes sense.” You added with a soft giggle.

“Oh, right. T-thank you…” he mumbled, not facing you.

You brushed it off as weird, but your sleepy self wasn’t bothered enough to notice or pry, and instead smiled, ruffled his hair and settled in your cozy little corner, placing your scarf in between your arms and rested your head on it, merely “resting your eyes”, but only if a teacher happened to come and check on the students.

Seungmin stared at your sleeping figure, eyes almost wide. He felt like his heart was going to explode underneath the layers of flesh. His hands tingled, his usually warm and sweaty palms missing the comfortable coldness of yours, so soothing and relaxing.

Either you had completely gone crazy, or he had fallen asleep trying to complete the stupid assignment. He knew you were good at technical drawing, it was one of the subjects were he wasn’t. It wasn’t a surprise when several students started asking you for help on their papers and assignments, considering that you were one of the few who was able to receive praise from the teacher, a middle-aged man with no kind of vocation with kids or teaching, by any means.

But it had never happened when he was the one in need of help, had you ever considered the idea of helping him.

He watched you, puzzled, as he had never done before, and maybe it would be the first time of many because Seungmin found himself liking what he was seeing, dare I say mesmerized by the image before him.

By you.

Your sleepy figure was as calm as he had ever seen from you, sleeping with little to no care in the world. Your hair remained stuck in a ponytail, which allowed Seungmin to notice that it left the skin of your neck visible, and despite the voice on his head saying that it was a behaviour quite like a man from the Modern Ages, just being so fixated at that small bit of skin, he couldn’t help but feel bashfully amazed.

Suddenly, he noticed you licked your lips, your eyes still closed and your small smile never faltering, but that made something start to flutter in his stomach, as if a whole lot of butterflies had been awaken at the sight of you, tranquil, and sweet, and cute, and he forced himself to stop looking at you abruptly, wondering why he had done that in the first place.

Licking your lips only made Seungmin aware of how dry his were, and action plus the thought of your lips immediately brought back what had happened on Wednesday.

Crazy. He’d gone completely crazy.

He felt his hand slowly approach his lips and he grazed them with his fingers, almost able to taste your chapstick back on his lips. Because he had been able. All Wednesday night. And a small part of him wanted more of it.

He blushed, scratching his eyes. He hadn’t slept shit, his mind betraying him every time he attempted to close his eyes instantly going back to the memory of how you stared at him after your kiss, dark pupils, and red lips, and so ridiculously gorgeous that it made Seungmin wonder why whenever he saw you he resorted to his first line in code: being mean.

He never used that side with anyone. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t tried, because small, teasing and slightly unhinged Kim Seungmin had tried to be himself in middle school, and… well.

Let’s just say that it didn’t work like expected.

But everyone loved dorky, funny and sweet Seungmin. Even with the difference with grades, that had definetely not been appreciated in his early years, nowadays people would see that as a part of him, and he recieved praise for it, not only from teachers, but also nice classmates, who sometimes went to seek help from him.

He just needed to pretend for a bit. Smile here and there, and put on a sheepish act of bashfulness that despite it not being natural, it wasn’t totally bad. It wasn’t like middle school.

But then you came in the picture.

Something about you made Seungmin want to tease you. To see you finally look at him after battling in your head if you even should, and then, sometimes when you were mad enough, you’d glare at him, and he couldn’t help but grin. Your cheeks flushed in anger that creeped up your body, how you looked at him through your lashes or how you’d tease him back. The first time you had done that, his brain’s chemistry had changed, he was sure of that.

He didn’t care about the mean remarks, and that now seemed almost obvious, considering what had happened almost two days ago in the school bus.

But it got impossible to miss when Seungmin noticed your sleepy self shivering in your slumber. With a mental groan, careful of not making any kind of loud noise in the study room, he slowly got closer to your corner, and tried to close the windows near it. And failed, because the stupid windows were old and rusty, only able to move them a bit.

He bit his lip, arguing in his head. Would that be enough? No, it probably wasn’t, right? Yeah, it couldn’t be. Considering that you always wore thin clothing, always borrowing your mates’ jackets…

…it couldn’t possibly hurt to do a bit more, right?

Seungmin approached you further, and shook a hand close to your face, but you were dead, as still as a fallen tree, despite the sunlight that enetered throught the windows glowing on your face, the Sun in winter, that brought little to no warmth, made you shine in his eyes.

He’d see you in the public library a couple of hours later. It didn’t mean anything. He could probably tease you for sleeping in school later. Yeah. And then he’d ask for his jacket back.

Seungmin was lost in his thoughts as he carefully settled his jacket over your shoulders, and he froze when you sighed deeply, surrounded by a familiar warmth and a cozy scent that you didn’t know you had missed or needed until then, but you didn’t wake up.

He blinked when he noticed your phone in your hand, the screen suddenly turning on. He giggled at your wallpaper, which had a silly joke on it and a funny doodle of a banana.

But then his eyes trailed down to the notification that had made the phone turn on.

[3 new messages from: henry li🫧]

> sorry i didn’t get to see u yesterday, had to sort smth out!

> guys.its.totally.a.real.address.wdym.lol

> it’s the address for later, shortcake 😉❤️

…huh?

Seungmin blinked once. Twice. Nah, his glasses had to be deceiving him. Then, another notification popped up.

> can’t wait to see you ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

He winced silently.

Ugh. What a cringy choice of emojis.

Did you really like this guy?

He frowned, going back to his place in the study room.

Ugh.

He didn’t care, obviously. Why would he care? That wasn’t his business. Never was, never would be. Not like he was interested. Pffft, no. Not at all. Yeah, nah. That kiss had been a one time thing. Totally. 100%. He wasn’t thinking about it again. Nope. Nor did he want to kiss you again. Not in a chance.

Just… ugh.

It was just that… no. Scratch that. No further comments.

He sighed as he went back to his work, feeling a sudden inspiration hit him as he took out a blank paper for the English class valentine’s assignment, but not before he looked at you again, then shook his head, turning the music back on in his headphones. He started writing, drafting, and throwing papers away, getting slightly desperate at his perfectionism.

He sighed. His eyes trailed off towards you.

Slowly, words started to flow in his head. Pretty sentences, things that he had kept hidden in the back of his mind. Maybe it could be good to let it all out. It couldn’t hurt. Yeah.

So he stared writing. Vomiting word after word. And he finished earlier than expected, with two papers.

One was perfect for the english assignment. It was boring and dull enough to be handed in for a school work, but good enough for his perfectionism.

And the other… was something different.

Something that had only happened because you were there, in front of him.

He stood up, letter on his hand. He leaned against the table you were sleeping in, and settled the jacket further on your shoulders. He sighed, grabbing a pen from his pencil case, folding the letter and signed it.

Maybe it was a bad idea, he thought as he picked up his stuff from the table and adjusted his glasses on the bridge of his nose.

He looked at your figure once more before heading out.

It had been to check if you were still asleep, of course.

Just to check.

Yeah.

[☆★🌷★☆]

Your phone vibrated in your hand again.

And again.

And again.

With a groan, you silently accepted that there was no way you could fool an inanimate object into believing that you were still asleep.

But when you yawned and looked around and didn’t find the posters in your room, but rather a whole bunch of tables and chairs, your eyes widened.

It hadn’t been your alarm but a phone call that had awoken you.

“Y-yeah?” You mumbled, picking up the call and quickly taking your backpack and scarf and rushing out of the study room, taking a quick scan and making sure you weren’t leaving anything behind.

“I’m heading to the club now, shortcake.” A low voice greeted. “Are you getting ready?”

Who…?

“H-henry?” You frowned slightly.

You heard him snicker through the other side. “Yeah?”

Fuck, shit, fuck.

“N-nothing! Nothing, I, uh, I was just doing my make up. Y-you know.”

What? You frowned, even more this time. No, that didn’t make any sense. You always blabbered about how you never did your make up for clubbing because the one you owned was cheap and never stayed on anyways.

“Sure, yeah.”

It didn’t seem like he had noticed.

“You can head there before me. I’ll go there eventually, yeah?”

You heard him snicker on the other side of the phone call. “Ok, baby.” He cleared his throat, stuttering a bit. “Y-yeah, I mean, I’ll uh… get there in a bit. Don’t rush.”

Only then you felt that the wind from outside wasn’t freezing your bones like usual. You squinted at the jacket you were wearing.

“Henry, did you…?” But he hung up.

It probably was him. Yeah. That’s why he had called you. To make sure you’d wake up.

Besides, there were little to no people who’d do such a kind gesture towards you, and even if the jacket was pretty much your style and it smelled like heaven, it didn’t feel like something any of the girls would keep around.

So, why didn’t it made you feel giddy that Henry had given you his jacket?

You kept on running through the hallways and catched the bus that was usually there for students who had extracurricular classes, unlucky people who had to stay in school late in Fridays. You never had, using Fridays to be a bit lazy or to start homework sooner just to hand it in earlier than Seungmin.

Oh.

Friday.

Seungmin.

The library.

You bit your nails, staring through the window.

Would he wait there for long?

What was he going to do once he figured you weren’t going to show up?

Were you… feeling guilty?

No… that… that couldn’t be, you chuckled dryly. Mean decisions against Kim Seungmin didn’t spend too much time on the judgmental side of your brain. You just… teased him back. And he’d take it. And double it. And so on.

So why did this feel too mean?

Could it be because of whatever-happened-that-cannot-and-should-not-be-remembered-every-five-minutes?

Could the fact that it had been the best thing that had happened in a long while?

Well, fine.

Not just ‘thing’.

A kiss.

And for fuck’s sake, what kiss.

You groaned and grunted, sprinting home as soon as the bus stopped.

Why did it always have to be him?

You entered your room and burst open your closet. The jacket was cool, you thought. And if you were going to see Henry, you could just wear it and hand it back to him in the club.

It was vintage, but its warmth engulfed you as if it had been handmade. Its funky designs and patterns looked cute, and its grey color contrasted well with it. You chose the first dress you saw, a tight black dress with no sleeves that you would’ve discarded as too short if you had more time, but it wasn’t exactly something you could’ve bragged about.

Jacket, dress, high socks, boots, wallet, phone, keys, headphones… yeah. You nodded, checking all of the boxes in your mental list, and started hurriedly walking to the address he had sent.

You hoped you weren’t going to be too late.

[☆★🌷★☆]

“Pick up, pick up, pick up…”

“The number you are trying to call is turned off or out of coverage. Please, leave your message after the—”

You hang up, tired of hearing that mechanic voice over and over again.

You looked around you, and there was nothing that looked like a club. You had tried to enter the building that the address lead to, but it hadn’t got well.

A strange figure opened a small window and gave you a look, almost disgusted. It took you a second to understand that they were wearing a mask, with dark lace and other colours. But just when you were about to speak, the window slammed close.

You blinked, puzzled. Where the fuck was Henry sending you? What kind of club was this?

You had started to roam around the building, trying to call him —and failing misserably, because the damn guy couldn’t pick up the fucking phone for the life of him—, but now you were starting to run out of ideas.

It was past 12pm, your legs shivered with every slight wind that swooshed your way, and there was no one that was going to pick up the phone. Not Henry, that ridiculous imbecile, not Lucas, who always bragged about having his phone in night mode, so nothing would get to him until morning, and not the girls, because Noa had her phone turned off, Atenea was most likely sleeping, Abril and Lara hadn’t picked up either, and your list of close friends who could possibly pick up was… that.

And no one was picking up the fucking phone.

You were about to keep on ranting about how disgustingly bad this was turning out to be, but you heard footsteps coming your way. You looked around, but didn’t find the source. With a frown, you walked to the building again

Placing your hand on one of the windows, who were dark and almost impossible to see through, you could notice that in the dim light from what could be seen outside, Henry was well entertained with a certain kind of company, so much that he couldn’t even pick up your phone.

You closed your eyes and leaned your forehead against the tinted glass. Of course. Yeah. That made total sense. It was Henry, after all. He had always been known to be kind of an asshole anyways. It couldn’t possibly come out as a surprise the fact that he actually was.

You shook your head and mentally mocked him and the blond girl he was kissing.

Henry Li could go to Hell.

Guess there was nothing left to do now. You had dumped Seungmin, and Henry had dumped you. It was an ass move over an ass move. Maybe you kinda deserved it.

But then your thoughts ended in a halt, because you swore you could feel a shadow starting to follow you from a distance.

They were behind you, but not too close, and due to their hoodie it was imposible to distinguish their face.

So you started walking. Turning left. Right. Left again. Right. Just kept on walking. Don’t look behind you. They’d probably just leave. This had to be your imagination, 100%.

But when you took a peak, the silhouette was not only still behind you, slowly walking towards you, but a slight bit closer this time.

You swallowed dry, gulped, even. Your heart tightened in your chest. What kind of joke was this? Your eyes were tearing up. You were tired, and this was mental. Adrenaline rumped through your body, and even if you were already lost, you kept on walking.

You took your phone from your pocket. Think, think, think. Who could you call? Who could pick up at one am? You scrolled down your list of contacts, until for a reason you don’t fully get, your eyes stopped at a certain name.

—> seungmeannie

It couldn’t possibly hurt to try… right?

You sniffed almost silently, and pressed call.

One beep.

Two beeps.

Three beeps.

You started crying a bit louder, unable to hold it back.

“Eh, hi…?”

“S-seungmin!” You sobbed, smiling. It was the first time in your life you had been that happy just from being able to hear his voice, raspy and low.

“W-what?” He stopped talking, and you guessed that it was because he hadn’t figured out who was calling him so late at night. “Do you know what time it is, you fun-sized dingus?” He groaned sleepily at the phone.

You bit your lip and sniffed.

“Wait. Are you… crying?” His tone had changed.

“I-i’m sorry about t-this eve-ening.” You sobbed, failing to hold back the tears, hugging the jacket that was still on your shoulders.

“Are you drunk, little one?” You never thought your shoulders could relax as fast as they had when his soft tone of voice called you that stupid nickname.

“N-no, I… I went to this stupid club, with-“

“With Henry, yeah.” The way he said his name, as if he wanted to put that stupid bitch in a box and send him to the end of the world took you by surprise.

“B-but um, he’s not picking up my phone and I…” you gulped. Taking a peek behind you, you shivered. “I think someone’s following me.”

“Wait, what?” Seungmin had never stood up from bed as fast as he had done that night. “Where are you?” He asked to the phone as he randomly picked a sweater and his glasses, biting his lip as he struggled to put on his shoes.

“I… I don’t know.” You sobbed. “I started walking away so he’d go, but it didn’t work.” You mumbled, sniffing. You felt so stupid.

“Everything’s going to be fine, yeah?” It was the first time in the whole afternoon that you felt like that statement could be true. Because Seungmin was going to help you. “Don’t hang up. Tell me what buildings can you see. Try heading away from small alleys. I’ll find you.”

Seungmin rushed out of his appartment, not before scribbling down what was happening in a post it note and left it on his mother’s bedside table.

“T-there are some restaurants, but they’re all closed.” You started, dubious as how was this going to work. “There’s a road to my left.”

“Can you name any of the restaurants, little one?” Seungmin had a hunch, and he huffed, sprinting to the plaza closest to his appartment.

“I just passed by a Mexican, I think.” You sniffed, Seungmin’s soothing voice working like a charm and calming you down slowly. “In front of me, I think this is a Japanese… it’s called Ginza.”

Seungmin chuckled, feeling relief flooding his body. “Y-yeah, ok! I- god, yes, I know where you are. Keep walking straight ahead. There should be a park, right?” He started running, hiding the fact that he’d have to rush and make the usual fifteen minutes it could take him to arrive where you were and make them five.

He needed to see you and make sure you were safe.

“I… shit, yeah! I can see it!” You went back to crying, a smile planted in your features.

“I’m almost there. You’re doing so well, little one.”

You felt your cheeks getting warmer at that. Walking a bit faster, you looked behind you, finding that the silhouette was still there.

But Seungmin was close. Seungmin said everything would be fine.

“S-seungmin?” You mumbled at the phone, wanting to hear his voice, so soothing and warm.

“Under the streetlight, silly.”

You heard the beep that sounded when Seungmin ended the call, but he was there, tangible, a couple of meters away from you.

You chuckled, happy to see him for the first time ever, and crying away the pent up stress and worry, you ran off to him, and clung your arms around his neck tightly, unbothered at the need to stand on the tips of your toes to do so.

Seungmin stuttered, still panting from the marathon he had ran to get there, 100% baffled at this. But it was ok. You were there. You were safe.

“T-they’re still behind me.” You whispered against his chest.

He could feel your nervousness on your tone, how scared you were judging by how strongly your arms closed behind his neck, and hesitated for a second before hugging you back, his arms pulling you closer by your lower back, keeping you grounded and so weirdly safe in his grasp, and it felt so strangely comforting coming from him that your eyes swelled with more tears.

You couldn’t see or feel the person behind you anymore, but Seungmin did, somewhat clearly.

The only thing that his mind made up that moment is that for the person to leave, they’d have to believe you two did know each other.

And Seungmin’s heart beated loudly in his chest when your grasp loosened and you stood back on your feet, allowing him to see how your lip trembled, how you were holding back tears and how you looked at him with a million emotions hidden in the colour of your eyes. He had never seen you cry before.

His hands itched to touch you again, a sudden need to comfort you that overwhelmed him.

So he did.

His hands cradled your cheeks, his thumbs brushing away your tears, and he pecked your lips softly, smiling at your baffled face. His arms engulfed you in a comforting hug that smelled so much like the jacket you were wearing.

He looked behind you, and the silhouette was nowhere to be found. As if it had never been there before.

“It’s ok.” Seungmin whispered in your ear. “I’m here now. You’re safe. They’re gone, yeah?” His arms rested on your shoulders as his slender hands stroked your hair. “No one’s gonna hurt you now, pretty.”

And you started to cry on his shoulder, because not only then you realized how bad you had needed a hug, and not even the fact that it had been a hug from him that you had secretly yearned for, but because none of your excuses made sense now.

There was no ‘fake’ or ‘real’ Seungmin.

Whatever he was, fake or not, stood in front of you as he hugged you under the streetlight.

And you sighed as he cooed at you softly, because deep down you had known for a while.

It was time you came to terms with it.

[☆★🌷★☆]

{ACT 3: WINDOWS, LETTERS AND POEMS}

Wednesday. 9:56 am. 14th February.

Most of your classmates were still arriving from their next class as you stared at two papers in your hands slightly from afar, pencil in your lips.

You had discarded most of your creations all Monday and Tuesday when you finally ended with a draft you liked for the stupid english homework. It was nothing out of the ordinary.

But the letter in your other hand, however, was something you had never done before.

“What’s that you got there?”

Any kind of bubbly and nervous emption you had vanished at the sound of that low voice.

“Fuck off, Li.” You grunted in a husky tone, frowning at him and grabbing back the letter from his hands.

“Is it a love letter for me?” He chuckled, ignoring your behaviour.

“Why the fuck would I write that, huh?” You laughed, a chuckle full of acid, one that had much more hatred that you had ever said before.

Henry brushed a hand through his hair, and you couldn’t help but think he looked stupid. You had liked this guy? Ugh.

“Because today is valentine’s day, shortcake.”

You squinted and frowned at him.

“Swishing those dyed and damaged locks like a Loreal advert won’t make anyone fall in love with you.” You snorted, and realized the people in the hallway had fallen into silence, listening to your conversation. “Or maybe it worked with that blond girl in the club?” You pretended to ponder out loud, leaning against the locker behind you, facing him with confidence.

“Wait, what?” He mumbled.

You snickered, taking him by surprise. “Oh, silly. I was never going to date you. I kept hearing that you were an ass and figured that was right, because aside from me, little to no people talked to you. I guess I just felt pityful.” You faked a pout.

He clenched his fists, his shoulders tense.

“You’re lying.” He grunted.

You chuckled. “You wish I was. That blond girl didn’t steal my man. She stole my problem.” You heard some gasps from the people in the corridor, as they had formed some kind of circle around you two.

But then, Henry snorted, and cleared his throat, talking with a much louder voice. “So you’re not going to let everyone know about you and Seungmin?” He smirked. “I feel like that’s a bit unfair. Making it seem like I’m the bad guy and all.”

You tried hard to make it seem like that hadn’t surprised you. You were so surprised by it that you didn’t have time to react when he yanked your letter from your hand.

“Such sweet words, all dedicated to him,” he mocked. “I think these people want to know.”

“Give it back!” You clenched your jaw, your eyes dull with embarassment.

Even if he wasn’t as tall as Seungmin, there was still a decent difference between you and him. And with a sly grin, he raised the paper above your head.

You licked your lips, anger filling your body.

“Give. It. Back.”

But then he started reading.

“I looked at him as if he were the Sun, in that I never looked at him except in frustration.” He read out loud, moving the paper from your reach everytime you tried to reach. “I seeked his warmth, I complained when he was gone, but I never looked, not until I noticed he was leaving, and in the beauty of the sunset, I wondered how I had never seen him before.”

You stared at the floor, a blush spreading through your cheeks, coming from your neck.

“And that’s basically what happened.” You mumbled to Abril and Lucas over at a bench in the school grounds, hours after that whole thing had happened.

“What?!” You flinched at Abril’s loud voice. “I’m going to kill him. I am so going to murder that nasty ass bitch.” She threatened to stand up, but Lucas grabbed her forearm.

“And what about Seungmin?” He questioned softly, a lot more gentle that what you usually would expect.

You felt heat rush to your cheeks.

“I haven’t spoken to him since Friday” You stared at him with a weakness you had never felt before. “It’s like he doesn’t want to talk to me, I…” you sighed. “I don’t know what to think anymore.” You sniffed.

You had to stay in the study room for the afternoon, waiting for Atenea to get out of the club she was in so you could head to the library together like you had promised, but as you studied in silence, someone sat in the chair in front of you, frowning at you.

You took your headphones off and scratched your eyes. “Eh… Hyunjin?”

“Abril told Lara and she told me,” he mentioned in a huff. “And I’ve known Seungmin for many years. He’s not an impulsive guy. He hasn’t treated anyone like how he treats you.”

You blinked, puzzled, but frowned at him. “Are you going to scold me?”

“You better believe I am!” He scoffed. “Would you like me to politely tell you that you’ve behaved like a total idiot around him?”

“What are you—?!”

“You simply never bothered to talk to Seungmin about any of what Lara told me!” He stated with force, and you didn’t think to tell him to shut up, considering that the study room was empty that time.

“Do you really expect me to understand whatever was happening and tell him right away?” You blurted out with anger, a bit shocked at his rough approach. “Had I had the opportunity I would have!

He rolled his eyes, passing a hand over his face in a sign of desperation.

“You had every opportunity! For months!” He left his hand on the table, and started tapping at it with force, trying to make a point. “Admit it. Seungmin has been in your head ever since we both changed from the other class and you two started bickering.” Hyunjin’s eyes stared at you with a fierce glare that almost threatened to pierce holes through your skull.

“That’s bullshit!” You spitted out defensively.

“Oh, spare me!” He brushed it off. “There have been countless clues! Your stupid need to make everything a competition when it comes to him is infuriating. He talks to me about these things, you know?” He swallowed, and you leaned back in surprise, but he kept on going. “How you look at him when you’re angry, or how you mock and tease him back. It’s stupid!” He cursed out loud. “And these last two weeks have only made it so much worse.”

“What do you mean, worse?” You pondered softly, slowly taking in Hyunjin’s dramatic act.

“I mean, you were totally smitten by how he ridiculously kissed you at the back of the bus last week, considering that you kissed him back.” He stated clearly. “And he wouldn’t shut up about it and how you were ignoring him after, which, great fucking work, by the way, the dude wouldn’t shut up about you.” Hyunjin blinked slowly, trying to recall and voice what he was thinking. “And then he lends you his jacket when a mystery debutant shows up.”

“A—a what?”

“Motherfucker, eh, that Henry asshole.” Hyunjin rubbed his eyes. “I had to endure him talking shit about him for an hour because he saw him texting you some weird shit with cringe emojis.” The exasperation on his tone rendered you almost speechless. “And even then he struggled to admit how fucking jealous he was about that guy. He had your attention. He had your smile. You looked at Henry, not at Seungmin, and ah, for fuck’s sake.” Hyunjin covered his face with his hands. “He felt so ridiculously powerless that he talked to me about it. He’s never done that before!”

You were only able to blink, struggling to grasp everything he was saying.

“And then, with no word of warning, you called him, at, what, like, one in the morning?” Hyunjin said in a huff, the thought of that bringing back his anger, making him stare at you with a frown again. “He, jesus, he talked for AGES about how you hugged him, and the fact that you were wearing his jacket, like— like you’re doing now, what the fuck.” He stopped mid-scolding, staring at you with confusion.

“It’s… it’s his?”

Hyunjin’s eyes widened slightly as he nodded. “What, you didn’t know? You helped him with tecnical drawing, he gave you his jacket, bla bla bla. That whole thing?”

You blushed, shaking your head sideways. You had done what?

“Nevermind. You can talk to him about that later.”

It was your turn to scoff now. “Judging by the fact that he sent you, I don’t think he would like to see me anytime soon.”

Hyunjin chuckled dryly.

“Don’t you even dare keep ignoring him. This stupid game has lasted for too long. Besides, he doesn’t know I’m here. He thinks I’m in dance practice, but whatever. You needed to know, because he’s a mess.” Hyunjin stated, passing a hand through his hair. “He can’t sleep well, he can’t concentrate, he can’t do anything.”

It looked like the scolding was over, but there was a remaining anger that came back to him as a memory struck.

“And, moreover, you callously ignored the letter Seungmin wrote you, even though he told you he loved you!”

You were looking at your notebook on the table, halfly staring at your nails and fidgeting with them, but your head almost snapped when you stared at him.

“What letter?” You muttered, your eyes locked on his. He frowned, his eyes slightly widening.

Your heart started beating faster, almost so loud you could hear it in your head.

“Hyunjin, what letter?!”

[☆★🌷★☆]

Seungmin felt his lungs on fire.

Run, run, run.

His feet were hurting, because his old ass shoes were busted enough that their insides were almost destroyed from everyday use.

But he needed to find you.

Maybe it was because it was Valentine’s day, despite the obvious influence that a certain friend of yours had done.

“Wait, you— you missed school this morning?” Lucas had muttered with a puzzled look, eyes wide.

“I had to go to the dentist to take my braces off. Yeah.” Seungmin stated again. “So whatever you meant by ‘being an ignoring bitch this morning’, I know nothing about it.”

And then someone next to them had chimed in. “You’re talking about Henry and what happened this morning with—“

“Yeah. Why?” Seungmin had interrupted, frowning slightly.

“There’s a video of it.”

Run, run, run.

The look in your eyes when you spoke with Henry. Your smug smile when you caught him by surprise.

Your poem.

His eyes had widened when Henry started reading it in the video.

Was it…?

Could it…?

Could it really be for him?

He wanted needed to find out.

He needed to find you.

“Watch where you’re going!” A man grunted at him, and Seungmin quickly apologized, running off.

Run, run, run.

He knew where you lived just because of Friday, when you had asked him if he could head towards your house with you, still a bit scared from what had happened. He accepted in a heartbeat, reassuring you that it was fine with a million smiles.

His hand had never left yours. Your touch, colder than his, had something so adicting to it that he didn’t want to let go.

Time seemed to pass slowlier when he recognized your neighbourhood. He was about to ring on your floor, but then, your silhouette got out of the elevators, and you both blinked at each other, staring through the glass door.

You opened it slowly, approaching him.

The look in your eyes was different than what Seungmin was used to.

It wasn’t similar to how you had looked at him ever since the school year started, with a shimmer of anger that turned your cheeks pink. Or how you had looked at him that afternoon in the back of the school bus, pupils dark and lips red and slightly swollen from kissing. Or how your eyes glowed in hope and comfort that Friday night.

It was different. He wanted to savour it. He wanted to see every detail of it.

He walked towards you and cradled your face in his hands.

“Wait.” He muttered in a whisper, taking off his glasses in a movement that to you felt almost enticing.

“What is it?” You whispered back.

He blinked at you as he cleaned his glasses with the hem of his shirt.

“You’re fucking blurry.” He snickered softly, with a sheepish smile that tinted his cheeks pink.

You giggled.

He settled his glasses back in place, and smiled when your image made sense before him.

“Better.” He muttered.

“Seungmin, I—“

But you stopped speaking when his lips crashed against yours.

There it was. He tasted sweet like how hot chocolate tastes in a rainy day. You smiled at your discovery, wanting to taste it for hours.

He wanted to kiss you for days to come, even if there was a million things left for both of you to say.

“I’m sorry.” Kiss. “I wasn’t in school this morning.” Kiss. “But I saw a video of it.” Kiss. “And I needed to—“

You giggled, taking his glasses and settling them on the top of his head.

“We can do the talking later.” You smiled, your cheeks red as your hands grabbed him by the collar of his shirt.

“Are you sure?” He gulped, blushing too as he mumbled.

“Yeah.” You smiled even more. “I’d rather do the kissing now.”

You'd never know what happened with his letter. But considering where that had lead you, maybe it wasn't totally bad that the wind had carried it out the window.

[☆★🌷★☆]

~Kats, who, believe it or not, took the text argument in the beginning from an old school groupchat (yes i was the target akbdksbdks idk why lol, but no, i did not have an enemies2lovers :( lmao)

HAPPY FUCKING VALENTINES DAY!

TAGGING! (oh wow) @that-crazy-five-foot-two-chick @deadcrow-donteat @obyyyy @euphoric-univers @aslou @19marka @daisyjihannie @im-loco66 @coolbabydumplings @amarecerasus @sharonxdevi @han-to-my-minho @abbiespooks @moon0fthenight @koala-wonderland @hecrtful @hheesungsung @vampcharxter @kpopandblunts @daisy-dont-play @skz-lover21 @skyl1nninie @lunathewonyoungstan @5starlee @pchyyhoe @4ln-stay8 @michelle4eve (bolded and/or purple means it won’t let me tag you, pookies! please check your blog’s privacy settings <3)

[satoru-is-the-way]

A/n: Here is the second prompt!

Tags: @shoxji @tian-monique @omgsuperstarg @angel-bi666

{IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED IN FUTURE NAMOR/TENOCH FICS LET ME KNOW PLUS IF YOU DO OR DONT WANT TO BE TAGGED IN SMUT. MUST BE OVER 18+ FOR THOSE ANYWAYS.}

Summary: Reader and Tenoch use to be married but got divorced. Years later they are working together during Wakanda Forever.

Warnings: Angst, Divorce, Arguments, Cussing, and panic attack(?)

You sat down with her co-star Letitia and Tenoch for their interview with Mitú. It had been a rough year of filming when your ex-husband plays your character's love interest.

It all started in 2007 you landed a small role in Déficit. You filmed with Tenoch Huerta Mejía for several months. By the end of the movie, it surprised no that you two had begun dating. In less than a year he proposed to you. You became (Y/n) (M/n) Mejía. However, the downfall came 11 years later. Your character had been in the MCU since Avengers in 2012. Currently, you where busy filming Infinity War and then Endgame back to back. While Tenoch is busy with Narcos: Mexico.

The distance and time apart seemed to have done it in with Tenoch. He approached you about divorce. It broke your heart but with a strong face, you agreed. Everyone was shocked to hear the long-time Hollywood couple divorced. You barely spoke with Tenoch for two long year's. The only communication had been about your children. You weren't surprised when Ryan Coogler contacted you for a role in Black Panther Wakanda Forever. (C/n) had close ties with Wakanda also being from a powerful nation that hid from the world.

He explained how your character tied into the plot and would finally have a love interest, that being Namor. You agreed without hesitation on accepting the role, and plus you had a 3 movies in the contract.

You were shocked, to say the least when you walked into the conference room to see Tenoch as Namor. From then it has become awkward on set. You two acted professionally despite everyone could see the struggle. You held feelings for Tenoch. Being with someone for 11 years affected you. Having children with this man. Crying together, laughing, family vacations, and several movies, and tv shows together. How could that go away?

When the kissing scene was filmed it took you a good two weeks to speak with Tenoch out of character. You avoided everyone and stayed in your trailer. Letitia, Lupita, Winston, Mabel, Alex, just everyone tried to speak with you but respected your request to not. Even Ryan asked if you were alright. It was obvious to everyone how you and Tenoch were still in love. The emotions flowed during the scene between (C/n) and Namor.

Today was one of your first interviews without all the cast together. You had agreed to be with Letitia and Tenoch since your character had a lot of screen time and was a fan favorite.

The female explained you all would be trying Pre-Hispanic food. The first one brought out was Chapulines. You began digging in as she started asking question. You laughed as Tenoch dropped some. "Someones hungry!" Letitia comments.

"Ah. Es por toda tu cara! (it's all over your face!)" You comment laughing as well. Your eyes meet his chocolate brown ones. The questions start out simple: How you felt about returning, your characters developed, and the short bits of romance shown in the trailer between you and Namor. You answer and listened when Jessica asked Letitia and Tenoch questions.

Finally, it came back to you. "How does it feel working alongside your ex-husband? Did you find it hard to put emotions into the character since Namor is her love interest? Everyone remembers it as a nasty divorce." Her question seemed innocent. You honestly did not know how they could approve such a thing. Tenoch looked down for a moment clearing his.

"That's not really anyone's business." He answered quickly the nice man turned serious. It bothered him more she asked such a thing.

Letitia looked concerned as she noticed your eyes became watery. "Maybe we should move on to the next dish?" She comments worried about your reaction.

"What the fuck kind of question is that?! Who in the actual hell approved this shit? We are done here." You stood up abruptly leaving the interviewer in shock as well as the remaining crew members. You jerked the mic off throwing it onto the table.

"(Y/n) please wait!" Tenoch grabbed your hand.

"DON'T!" You replied tears running down your cheeks as you stormed out. Your vision became blurry and the world became silent. You couldn't hear anything.

You knew your whole career is ruined. The professionalism with the question. Might as well not even show up to the premiere. Kevin Feige would have words with you. Your whole life is done from the fan would also turn on you. All this ran through your mind as you left the building gasping for air. Everything has come crashing down over a fucking question.

You started walking down the streets of LA. Soon you absorbed the sounds of the city and busy traffic You felt your phone buzzing now. Tenoch had called you 15 times already you answer, "I am at the coffee shop nearby." You say before sending him your location and hanging up.

You took a deep breath once watching Tenoch rushing down the sidewalk and into the Cafe. He sighed deeply and sat down looking up into your eyes. "Please never do that. I called you I don't know how many times. Talk to me."

"It's not like you are unaware of how people look at us."

Tenoch gently brushed your hand, "I know but I don't care about everyone else! I care about you." He whispered. "It's just I get scared. I got scared being so far away. I thought maybe you didn't love me. So I pushed you away. It was a mistake I regret ever since that day. I want to love you. I-I do...I love you." He admits

"In every universe?" You asked.

That same grin you love graced his face exposing his dimples. "Yes Doctor Strange." He chuckled. "In every universe."

"I'm on the chopping block now."

"If they fire you then I will leave too, mi amor."

"No. I won't allow it." You pulled him into a deep kiss. Tenoch responded eagerly pulling your hair softly wanting you to be close despite the damn table in the way.

"Better stop before I cant..." He whispered.

"Same here."

"Let's go back ok?" He asked and you nod walking out hand in hand.

[baekhyunteamo]

plot: it's neymar's birthday and he introduces kylian mbappé to one of his friends.

enséñame | kylian mbappé

"kyky! that's y/n!" neymar spoke sounding a little more groggy than usual due to drinking

"nice to meet you..." she said reluctantly, a little more shy as she started a clumsy hug and placed a kiss on each of the brunette's cheeks

kylian liked feeling in control, feeling like he caused some kind of shyness, not realizing that he was motionless after the hug, completely still. the girl smelled like some floral perfume, which normally isn't one of his favorites, but somehow it calmed him down.

"cat got your tongue, kyky?" neymar said laughing too loud that was when kylian realized that he was standing still and silently watching the girl. the suit felt a thousand times tighter and warmer now.

"i'm kylian. kylian mbappé" he said it as if he were a soldier reporting to his superior she lets out a weak laugh, still looking into his eyes.

kylian mbappe was one of the most confident men she had ever heard of, according to ney. but now he looked cute. in the back of the party marquinhos called neymar for a photo, shouting loudly and laughing with other friends from brazil.

"do you speak french?" kylian said in broken english

"i can say a few words...i think i can at least order coffee if you drop me off on some street in paris" she says with a joking tone. "we can speak spanish if it's more comfortable than english" silent, as if he was studying the option. neymar had certainly already mentioned that he did know how to speak spanish, in fact very well by the way.

"i can talk a little, you know?" he said putting his hand behind his head

"ney told me you were fluent, kyky!" she said as she settled into the nearest small table. the nickname.

"i'm doubting a lot of things right now, s/h. especially if i'm really a social person, i swear i'm more talkative than that."

"you're not feeling comfortable, is that it?" she said a little more apprehensively as she arranged the small bottle of water on the table

"actually, i am. i'm feeling fine, i just don't want to talk nonsense! you know how it is, right? when a man sees a beautiful woman, sometimes he ends up talking more than he should..."

"and now you're flirting? i understand you, kyky. i'm also doing everything not to say what i shouldn't, you know how it is, right? a woman when she sees a handsome man..."

they both let out a chuckle.

for some strange reason, but not so strange, since it was neymar's birthday, enséñame started playing.

es dolor el saber que lo nuestro se puede terminar

porque, simple y sencillamente, nunca he sabido actuar

"i love this song! this is literally my childhood!" she said with the biggest smile of all night. she got up, straightening the hem of her dress, straightening some of the dark hair that was falling in her face, placed the small bag on the table.

"señor, ¿bailarías conmigo?" (sir, would you dance with me?) she said with one hand behind her body and the other outstretched.

"sí. mi señora, con mucho gusto!" (yes, my lady, with pleasure) he said with the biggest smile of the night, the biggest smile in days actually.

[sonicblueartist]

FORGOTTEN

❝𝗧𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗯𝗲 𝗹𝗼𝘀𝘁, 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗻𝗼𝘁; 𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝗱𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗵 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗱𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗶𝗼𝗻.❞

Part 5

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5,

Masterlist

Have Fun!

"Come on come on! Be quick! The building is about to explode!!"

You yelled quickly helping the last people to get inside the plane.

You were about to get inside too but paused. You glanced back, your breath caught in your throat in panic. The plane is about to take off just like you both timed, it has seconds before the door closes off permanently. You panthed, "Tails!!!" You called after him. He was just standing there, in front of the burning building, his fur had some burn marks over the last rescue attempt. He didn't react to your voice, he seemed to be some kind of a trans, you shook your head and sprinted at him. The breeze just helps the fire to travel around. The fires light leaving an effect on his saffron fur that amazes you even in such a station. You were about to yell his name once again only to halt, your hand halted over his. He looked at you. His eyes had something in it that you didn't quite get at the moment. But he knew something big and you released it. You only felt that something was really wrong and that only made you panic even more. You held his arms and shook your head, "We need to go. Right now."

He softly smiled at you, "I know... Y/n, Do you remember what I told you before we came here?"

You frowned, "Was it... that no one will be left behind? We already have everyone! We need to go! Come on!" Your eyes widened when he suddenly gripped your hand and pulled you, you lost yourself in his fierce gaze, like a crazy ocean with big waves, you were stuck in that ship fighting to survive one more day, but unlike you he wasn't confused.

He whispered your name, voice gentle but rigid, shaky but serious, "Lead them to safety. I have to help the kid inside."

You shook your head in disbelief, tears forming in your eyes, you knew you can't change his mind, but going in there was a suicide! If he was going to save that kid, you are not going to leave him to deal with that alone, "I am not leaving you."

"You have to. You have to help the people we saved. Lead them to safety. They have no one else. There is no time for us to discuss this. Please, just listen to me for once. I have a plan. I am not leaving that kid."

He wiped your tears, "We will see each other again. I promise." He smiled softly, his eyes as soft and calm like a clear sky. You stared at him, shaking your head, silently pleading for him to stay.

His hands slipped from yours as he backed away, his eyes never leaving yours until the last moment, you stared behind him as he jumped inside the fire. You shook your head, your breathing speeding up. You screamed his name after him, you were about to jump inside the burning flames only for someone to pull you back, you struggled on their strong hold, crying out his name. You knew that gloves, the golden rings around it, the black fur donated with red stripes. You didn't know how he was there. Why was he there? He shouldn't be. He should be far far away from your location in another state, in another fight. The last thing you knew was you were forced inside the plane as you pressure yourself to plot the plane back, the burning building's sight slowly vanishing from your sight, far far away, so far away from him.

HE PROMISED. He promised that we will see each other again. He better keep that promise.

He have to...

The second time you saw him after that incident was... painful.

But he had promised...

─────

You grabbed everything in Espio's hold with a big grin, "Thank you Espio!"

Espio smiled, never seeing you this happy in such a long time, he was only happy that you were full of hope once again, "Just be careful. I'll try to divert their attention but not for too long, so be quick."

You nodded, "I am so glad you are helping me with this, Es."

His smile dropped as he sighed, "I can't help you all the time, Y/n. This will also be my last time helping you before I go... And I believe you are not gonna give up with one try. If you're gonna continue doing this, do it carefully or decide to at least tell your friends."

You shooed him off, "I can handle myself just fine. Thank you."

He sighed and before he could walk out the room he paused and looked back at you, "Also... Shadow said hi."

You turn to him surprised, "He did?"

"It wasn't a vocal answer but he seemed to be." You smiled at that.

He smiled back and closed the door behind him. You shook your head with a chuckle and waited for a while for him to drag your friends away from Tails' room. You sneakily glanced out from the door and smiled when you saw Vanilla and Amy walking away along with Espio, him talking something in a serious manner.

You carefully slipped out of the room making sure they didn't notice you. You knew they wouldn't get away from his room too far away but this will do just fine.

You slipped into his room and quickly dropped your things next to the bed on the table. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, "Okay Tails--"

"Miss Y/n?"

You yelped, nearly dropping the objects. You quickly turned around with wide eyes.

You gripped your chest, breathing deeply, "O-oh. Hi Cream, Cheese. How are you? You scare me a little."

She smiled, "I am so glad you feel well enough to come in! What are you doing with those?"

You glanced back and sighed, "You promise to not tell anyone?"

She halted but nodded, "Uhm, Okay."

You glanced towards the door and wondered if they heard your little shout, maybe making sure it wouldn't hurt, "I got some items here. Doctor said... something he is familiar with might help him to wake up. So I'm going to try."

Cream tilted her head, "But why are we keeping this a secret?"

"Because if Amy and your mother learn they probably won't approve because... well. What I am gonna use might be a little heavy-- metaphorically, uh, Gimme a sec please..." You rushed towards the door and quietly opened a little and peeked out. Noticing Amy's and Vanilla's back facing towards you as Espio quickly explained something to them. He seemed to be handling it well. You give a grin and a thumbs up towards his way and close the door.

Cream walked up to you with a smile, "Could me and Cheese can help?"

You sighed with a smile, "Sure, yeah, why not?"

They cheered happily.

"What are we gonna do then?" she asked curiously.

You turned away and walked up to the bed, "First we're gonna try to stimulate his senses."

"How are we gonna do that?"

"You'll see~" You grab the mints and give Cream and Cheese one. "Open it's bag and let him smell it."

She gasped, "Oh, That's a really good idea! Mr. Tails loves mint!"

You nodded and opened one of the mint candy's bags and paused when you faced Tails. You swallowed nervously. You observed his features for the first time in a long time. His chest raised up and down slowly as he breathed. He looked like he was actually sleeping and he seemed really peaceful. No one would tell he'd been sleeping for 7 months. His amber fur glowing under the sunlight. You hesitate but slowly reach up and gently push his bangs out of his eyes. Your breathing quickening. Your nightmare is coming back to you. His bloody form. Cream holds your trembling hand, "It's okay to be afraid, miss Y/n. Everyone can get scared! Mom told me you are having bad dreams about him. I understand! I sometimes have bad dreams too. But in this case, what you need to do is learn to be one with your fears. Then they can't harm you."

You smiled at her, "Thank you Cream. I'll try. Where did you learn such words?" You muttered to yourself as you took a shaky breath. Gently pushing the candy closer to his nose. Cream doing the same as she bounced a bit on her feet.

You waited for him to inhale its scent a bit. You bit your lip, you were actually expecting a reaction out of him just like that didn't you? You shouldn't be raising your hopes so high like that but honestly you couldn't help yourself. At least you were actually hoping for something to happen with at least one of the objects you requested from Espio. Something. Anything. It can be a little twitch. Or a movement. You name it! Just a little small one would be enough for you. But, of course, you found nothing.

You sighed heavily, "Okay, no need to get upset. This is our first try. We are not done yet. You're with me, right, Cream, Cheese?" You mustered up a smile towards them.

They both nodded determinedly, "Yes!"

"You continue trying with mint. I am gonna try with the wrench." She nodded and came to your place while you picked up the wrench and walked the other side of him. You took a deep breath and gently grabbed his hand into your shaky ones. You laid the wrench between his fingers and closed his hand.

"Come on. I know you felt it. I am absolutely sure you can tell what this is. Remember the countless times you used it! Please... I know you had it in you. Give us a reaction... please... Tails... even a little one is okay..." None. He didn't move at all. You closed your burning eyes tightly, "If you are hearing this. I'm not giving up. Even if you sleep for years!"

You gently took the wrench and walked back sternly, staring down at the thing you had, trying to figure which one to try next, "Let's make him listen to his own projects from his notebook, maybe he will recall them... And... maybe we can make him taste the mint? Could we be able to use the oil and gasoline and make him smell them? I know he will recognize them immediately." You pondered to yourself.

"You sure? Isn't it dangerous?" Cream asked worriedly, her chao frowning along with her.

"I'm sure. We have nothing left to do. Don't worry about it." You didn't have any time to waste. Maybe you won't have enough time to try everything today until they come but you will surely try.

"You know what? Nevermind reading all that. I am gonna keep it for the final along with the music. Let's help him have a taste first." Or it would take a lot of your time.

Before you can even do something further the door went open with a loud bang causing both of you to yelp in fright. There stood on the door a furious Amy. Espio stood behind her, he was looking at you with an apologetic manner.

─────

Shadow walked down the corridors, his mind wasn't in the moment. He was thinking back to the day Tails first went to hospital. When he heard the news that you and Tails was injured he come as quick as he could but Rouge didn't let him get inside, with an explanation that he was better off not getting in with already the chaos going on inside, not saying anything else she left a scribbled paper in his palm and went inside. He has been thinking about it all this time.

"Stop the loop. Let them be saved." He muttered in his tracks. What does that supposed to mean?

He looked down at the quickly and hastily written words. The style felt almost too familiar. Who does the handwritten belong to? His frown deepened as he continued walking. His eyes landed on his other hand, the object he had been carrying. The one he finds it hidden well in Tails' room. If he wasn't searching for the emeralds he wouldn't be able to find it. He knew he shouldn't have looked inside of it. But the same scribbling words next to it caught his attention. The same handwriting, the same words...

─────

You sulked in your spot, grimacing as Amy paced in front of you.

"I am so happy you are finally up and coming into his room. But- What were you thinking bringing GASOLINE!!? Or- Or what if he accidently swallowed that candy and choked on it!?? It's dangerous! And you, what were you thinking by helping her?!!" Espio shrugged. Amy grumbled, "Honestly, I wasn't expecting this from you Espio. Being disappointed would be an understatement for what I am feeling right now for both of you!" She took a deep breath to calm herself, "Y/n, I understand you want him to wake up, we all do as much as you do believe me. But if you are gonna risk something like this I rather you not enter his room at all! What if he got poisoned or got sick?! His station is already critical!" She panicked.

You huffed and bit your tongue, you didn't want to say something harsh. You were annoyed, yes. She is just worried for his health! But she shouldn't have interrupted you. She could at least let you try the other things! What if he actually would wake up but they are just ignoring that hope away!? Or maybe they are right, he will never wake up again and you are just fooling yourself with an innocent little hope. Maybe she is right...

You sighed, "I'm... sorry. I won't do it again."

Amy sighed, "Yeah, I hope so. Espio please take everything you bring."

You clenched your hands. Espio walked past your sitting form far away from the bed and went to gather the things without any word. Amy came to your side after taking a deep breath, she smiled down at you and held your shoulder, "Don't forget we are doing this for both of your own good. If you want to stay here, do as you wish as long as you want. But please don't try anything dangerous again." You nodded slowly as she hesitated and walked to Vanilla, "Can we talk alone, please?" Vanilla nodded with a smile and they left. You knew they were going to talk about your situation. You closed your eyes with a heavy sigh.

Espio stops next to you with the items in his hands, "Take this." You look up at him in surprise as he reaches Tails' notebook towards you. Your hand shaked as you pick it up.

"Try this instead. I'm sorry if that does not work." That was the only thing he muttered before leaving. Cream gently leaned her head on your shoulder, holding your arm, "Maybe this would be better than trying the other ones?" She asked hopefully.

You sighed, "I can only just hope." You opened his notebook, there were only mathematical terms you didn't quite understand, probably for his projects. You can't get over how smart he is. There were some drawings of his inventions too, you felt some similarities with them as he was working on their creation. But there is nothing for you to just read it for him. You heaved a sigh, it was useless. You continue glancing upon the pages with a sad hue in your features.

You paused with finding the doodles you both made, you couldn't help but smile at that. You traced the lines with your finger. Glancing at the other page you find a sonnet. A poem?

"Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments. Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove.

O no! it is an ever-fixed mark

That looks on tempests and is never shaken;

It is the star to every wand'ring bark,

Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.

Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle's compass come;

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,

But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

If this be error and upon me prov'd,

I never writ, nor no man ever lov'd."

Oh god, this is the Sonnet 116 from Shakespeare! You didn't know Tails was the poetry type. Was he also emotionally smart too?

You frown in confusion, glancing back towards the bed, you stared at his form. Your eyes are softening. Maybe you can read this to him? You looked down at Cream, she was still leaning on you, hugging cheese as they both slept peacefully. How long did you take while observing his book? The sky was already starting to darken. Another day passed by... You shook your head as you slowly and carefully left them both to sleep on the couch.

You took a deep breath and approached the bed, every step you took, twisting your stomach, your nightmares flooding inside your mind. You shakily pushed away all that and sat on the bed, not daring to look at him again.

You closed your eyes and breathed out. You took the notebook closer to you and parted your lips to softly read the neatly written words.

─────

Amy listened from the door, she sighed closing her eyes with the soft spoken words by the bed, she couldn't help but smile to herself. Vanilla held her shoulder, "Let's leave them alone together for a little bit longer, Amy dear."

Amy glanced up at her unsure, Vanilla's warm smile melted her heart and hesitation. She heaved a sigh, "Alright. But I am not going too far away." She smiled.

"Or leave that to me." The two paused and glanced towards the new voice. Amy gasped. "What are you doing here?"

He sighed, there is no point in hiding his true intentions, but still, he couldn't let himself say it anyway, "I have something to give her. Then I'll be off on my way. If you are worried. Then Don't. She is not a little kid to be looked after all the time."

Amy frowned, he was right. She nodded. "Okay, Let's go then."

He stared behind them until they disappeared from his view.

─────

You stared down at Tails' sleeping form, pushing your fear once more. How serene he looked sleeping like that, your lips turned into a bittersweet smile. His chest so slightly raised up and down with his slow rhythmic breathing. His fur is just like the day before you lost him. Lively and bright. You could sit there and observe his features all day.

If the events didn't happen would he be still next to you laughing, talking non-stop about his inventions, cheerfully asking how your day has been? Would you be able to make a difference if you were the one that went inside? Or would you just end up dead?

You hesitantly reached out, your fingers brushed his cheek slightly, finally feeling his fur under your fingers after so long doing something to you. Maybe it was just the guilt. A tear slipped from your cheek. At the moment, you would rather be dead if it meant him in his full health. You sniffed trying to hold back your silent sobs, it just feels like you were choking, "I am sorry." You took a deep breath, closing your eyes tightly. "I am sorry." You clenched your hands and stepped back, "If you can hear... I'm... so sorry..." you words cracked. You didn't know what else to say.

You wiped your tears, your back pressed against the wall, slowly sliding to the ground, you hiccuped, finally couldn't hold anymore. You wanted to scream, yell, bawl your eyes out but... only little sobs escaped your lips. You felt too tired to even move. You tightly hug your legs and press your face in your arms. You silently sobbed, you didn't know for how long. Your eyes must be all puffy and red by now.

A warm hand pressed on your head, "Stop blaming yourself." You choked out, swallowing, you took a shaky breath and sniffed, you blinked your tears letting them loose as you slowly lifted your head. Somehow you actually hoped that it was him... but you already knew who the voice belonged to.

He looked down at you with nothing but understanding in those crimson eyes. You looked back with your glassy ones, he frowned. He knew if he won't say anything, something will die in you... like it did in him years ago...

He sighed and sat next to you, "It wasn't your fault."

You choked out, "I just..." a sob escaping your throat, you tighten your fist and breath out shakily, "can't stop thinking if I could do any change at all if I just went in—" Your voice cracked.

A frown visible on his lips, "You won't believe how much time I thought the same thing before..." he whispered, his eyes losing it's focus as he stared at the ground. "How much I blame myself, how much I blame others... Would I be able to change anything if I went back now? No... What happens always happens. And you can't stop or change that."

You shook your head with his words, "I guess now I know what you went through—"

"I don't want you to go through the same thing. Not like I did. I don't want you to go through the wrongs I did, the phases I went through." He finally looked at you again, you wiped your tears away, "He wouldn't want that either."

You breathe out a silent laugh, "What done is done. I can't change anything. He will forever will be sleeping until we decide he should rest in peace"

"Yes, you can't while you sit all day like that and blame yourself."

You scoffed, "What do you suggest I do? What do you want me to do? Go hunt Eggman?? Take revenge?!" You snarled out, new tears slipping out as you throw your fist on the ground, gritting your teeth.

He didn't say anything, he got up and walked towards the door, he knew you understood what he meant, but you were just tired and angry, "Rest, Y/n. Revenge is no good... I learned that a bit late... but it's not always too late to change. I can't tell you that there is a way to change everything and just hope for things to get better but... There is no good when you just sulk in there... You will never stop growing, it will never stop hurting, but you will learn to live with that. He healed, you will too."

Before he gets out, he gives a final glance and leaves a camera on the table, "I find this in his room... hidden away. You might... I wanna see what's inside."

You stopped him before he could leave, "Why did you save me that day?" That was the question that was running wild in your head. He halted and glanced at you. A visible confusion in his crimson eyes but he released quickly what you meant. That was a stupid question. You knew if you did get in, none of you would get out alive, or maybe just you would die for a stupid act. But you had to ask him that, you need to know how he was there. What he said next confused you even more.

"I didn't..." and without anything else... he vanished.

You stared where he used to stand, soon your eyes landed on the camera. You wiped your tears away as you shakily got up to your feet, and went to pick it up. You sat next to bed and opened it.

There was only one video stored inside it. You pressed a button and it started to play.

Tails appeared to be fixing the camera, his tongue poked out while he focused on fixing it. He hummed satisfied and took a few steps back. His hands on his hips, "Alright, uh, it should be on now." You blinked, sniffing as you watched him take out a guitar next to him. You didn't know he was recording himself while he played. You knew he played the violin before but you didn't know he knew how to play the guitar too.

Tails blushed and laughed, "Uh, So, I uh, Let's see..." he went to pick up a few papers nervously, he seemed to be really excited about this. He used to always plan what he is going to say beforehand and write them on, it's probably because he wants it all to be perfect. Or maybe it isn't a speech but a song or music notes. You shook your head with a smile at that. He dropped the papers and panicked, kneeling to pick them up only to bump his head on the table. "Ow! Agh, stupid...." he muttered to himself, causing you to breathe out a laugh as he rubbed his head with a scowl.

He glanced through the paper and put them down only to drop the glass splatting water on the table. He gasped, "Agh! You must be kidding me!! It's all ruined!" He dropped his guitar on the bed and quickly went outside of his room, probably going to get some towels. You smiled at his annoyance.

What confused you next was that his window slowly and cautiously opened and someone jumped inside. You couldn't see who they were. It was impossible to get inside his room let alone his house. He had high security. Unless he closes them off that they which you know he wouldn't ever, it can't be a robber of some kind. It has to be someone we know or the system would be activated.

The person finally get up from the ground, visible to the camera's view, though their back facing it. You squint your eyes confused. Before the person even glance at the room the door opened and Tails walked in. He freezed when he saw them. He panicked first, he wasn't alarmed, he seemed to want to say something but he stopped himself when it quickly faded to confusion as the person continued staring at him. Tails become worried when they come crashing on his arms. You saw them shook so slightly. Tails was now trying to comfort them.

"It's okay, It's okay. I'm here." When he held their head you were finally able to see their face. It was a bit red probably from crying a lot. Your eyes widen. No, it can't be. You don't remember--

"What happened? Is everything alright, Y/n?" You listened to Tails' voice as he called out to you gently, something inside you hurted. No, this is not true. This can't be real. You don't remember something like this ever happening! This has to be a dream.

You inside the camera shook her head, she breathed out in pain as she held his hands and pushed them away, her eyes landed on the camera as if she knew it was there in the first place. She frowned and went to close it off. That was the last thing you saw before the screen went dark. The camera dropped from your hands. What...?

You stared at your hands. You don't know for how long you stayed like this, refusing to believe what you just saw until a sound takes your attention from your dark hazed mind.

The video was still continuing?

You gently pick it up, thankfully it wasn't broken. Only Tails was in the middle of Camera's range. This time he was not in his room but in his workshop, everything looked messy. He didn't look like he did when he first started the video. He looked much more serious and tired. He took a deep breath and glanced at the camera.

"Y/n, If you are watching this... you must be... alone and in pain, and probably confused too. I'm sorry for that..." he frowned in guilt. He closed his eyes, "I don't have much time to explain everything... But, I need you to help me." He finally looked at you again.

[trash-king18]

m pt. 18

ok ok i know there’s been so much back and forth between these too but for some reason i just couldn’t get past the idea of writing miguel and y/n without including the plot of atsv and the real issues with miguel’s behavior so this part and the next will lead up to the events of the second movie before ending the series with the aftermath and a quick explanation of what i imagine will happen in beyond-tsv

but i will continue posting bits and pieces that can either be read separately or as part of the future of their relationship after this bc i am obsessed with these two atp.

cw: hangover, some smut, more marking, big fight, breakup?

————

you woke up with a tequila headache two missed calls and someone banging on your door.

you were still exhausted, and groggy.

“Y/N”

you groan and pull yourself out of bed

“Y/N are you here”

you open the door holding your head

“ay dios mío stop banging please”

“did i wake you up”

“what do you think”

he pushes into your apartment

“uhh ok, what are you doing here”

“you weren’t answering me and.. i didn’t want to track your watch so i just came to check”

“ohh he does learn”

he flashes you and annoyed look

“is that my shirt”

“uhm.. i guess. i must’ve brought it with me on accident”

“oh uh huh definitely an accident”

“i’m not arguing with you this morning my head is killing me”

“i thought you were babysitting”

“i was.. and then i ended up babysitting a bottle with my sister”

“is that why you didn’t answer me”

“uh i didn’t see it until super late, figured you were asleep by then”

“i didn’t sleep last night had to clean up after the mess gwen made last night. besides still could’ve texted, so i didn’t have to come banging on your door.”

“nobody asked you to do that.. hold on what did gwen do?”

“don’t worry about it that’s a work thing, we’ll talk about it at work”

“but i want to know now. is she ok?”

“ay mi cariño don’t be like that. she’s fine. but seriously i wanted to talk to you”

you were suddenly feeling defensive, your talk last night with crystal had you feeling cautious about letting things get too close.

“we’re not together we don’t need to debrief every time we hookup”

“hey what’s up with the attitude”

“i don’t have an attitude i’m just hung over and tired”

“..you need food”

“don’t start with that again i told you i don’t get hangry”

“mmhm right” he starts pushing you towards your bed room “go lay back down”

you don’t fight him about that you’re eyes are still full of sleep so you just climb back in bed.

you’re half asleep when he comes in with empanadas and water

you eat but you refuse to let him think he was right so even though you feel better you just lay back down with a huff

but you feel him crawling onto the bed and you look up

“someone should really teach you not to just climb into someone’s bed without an invitation”

he just lays down next to you and pulls the covers down before he begins slowly pulling the fabric of the t shirt up.

“what are you doing”

“i was interrupted..very abruptly yesterday. i still need to finish”

he continues pulling your shirt up to reveal your tits but you push it back down

“finish what?”

he doesn’t even seem to care as he moves your hand away and pulls it back up again

“this”

he presumes to get back on top of you pulling your legs around him as his hand comes up to grope your tit and he begins kissing the other.

you tell yourself to push him off but it feels good, he feels good.

he sucks your nipple into his mouth which makes you moan despite yourself

“así es, tu cuerpo me necesitas”

that’s right, your body needs me

“i don’t- fuck- think i’m the needy one here”

“No soy necesitado”

i’m not needy

he looks up slightly offended

you look at him unconvinced but he rolls his eyes before continuing, switching to the other side

“estoy atento”

im attentive

“whatever you need to tell yourself”

he ignores you playing with your skin and leaving more marks all over your chest. he finally pulls back satisfied and just looks over you

he says quietly “perfecta”

“are you finished now”

“mm” he sits back and pulls you up with him sitting you on his lap “por que me apuras”

why do you rush me

he wraps his arms around you

“porque no volviste anoche”

why didn’t you come back last night

“i did i got here at like 130”

he gives you an exasperated look “Eso no es lo que quiero decir”

that’s not what what i meant

“i wanted to sleep in my own bed”

“Podría haber venido”

i could’ve come over

“Miguel.. we’re not a couple..”

“and yet.. sigues terminando en mi cama”

you keep ending up in my bed

“i’m being serious right now. we can’t keep doing this”

he let’s go suddenly

“what”

you gently remove yourself from him.

“the hookups, the fights, the sleepovers. it’s messy enough now but given… our pasts this will never be more than that”

“our pasts.”

“we’ve lost too much, and our lives now are too complicated this.. whatever it is.. doesn’t work”

a look of anger takes over his face “we’ve lost?”

“yes”

“your brother died, i lost an entire universe”

“don’t talk about my brother”

“you brought it up”

“you know what i’d ~like~ to bring up”

“id love to know”

“the fact that you only lost that universe because you didn’t belong there”

his face falls and then he looks angry again.

“what did you just say”

“you might not have done it on purpose, and it may hurt just as bad, but honestly i’m tired of you projecting your guilt and cannon theory onto every other spider person in attempts to come to terms with what you’ve lost because you can’t deal with the fact that your world imploded and you don’t actually know why”

he gets up

“and don’t even think about yelling at me, you know it’s true but nobody else has the balls to say it”

he stares at you seething

“don’t come in to work this week”

“what are you firing me now because i told you the truth”

“don’t.”

and then he just walks out slamming the door behind himself

——

“well. thats one way to break up with a guy. get him so mad he essentially does it for you i mean really genius. i applaud you”

“we didn’t break up, we weren’t together”

“uh yeah- you were. maybe not in the normal healthy people way but that was a relationship”

“well it’s over now and i think it’s time i start looking for jobs in this dimension”

“seriously”

“what?”

“no way you’re gonna except going from helping superheroes hold the fabric of the universe..es together to working at a boring lab with a bunch of normal people”

“i don’t think i really have a choice anymore”

“there’s always s choice mana. if he’s as smart as he seems to be he’ll come around

“maybe”

“but you’re welcome to stay here until things blow over”

she goes to take the boys to the bus stop and head to work leaving you alone

lyla calls.

“hey.. so about you and miguel”

“what? there is no me and miguel”

“y/n please i know. i’ve known”

“well it’s over now so it doesn’t matter anyway. do you need me to come in?”

“uhh i wouldn’t. he’s upset right now, about what you said”

“why you think i was wrong too”

“i think it’s been a long time since miguel has thought about what happened with anything other than blind rage and self blame. give him time hon he’ll come around, until then i’ll keep you updated and do my best to keep him.. contained”

“thanks lyla”

“of course y/n… Oh! and one more thing gwen went to visit miles when she was supposed to be on a mission”

“she did?! why would she do that?”

“i don’t know, but things are getting a little hectic here.”

“if he- if you need me for anything call me”

“i will”

“good luck”

“you too”

————

taglist:

@urmotherswhor3 @kirke-is-my-name @rexxesgirl @simp4miguell @urmomisafinewoman @dammittjanet @cheezit-luv3rr @miggyyyyohara @polireader

[ishikawayukis]

literally same, specially when I have free time is like “well I’ll just watch a couple” y termino ya en la mitad del arco o por terminarlo 🤡JAJAAAJ it was good arc tho, it just made me cry LOL

SO THATS WHERE I HEARD IT!!!!! Okay gracias porque si sentía que me estaba volviendo loca y casi me pongo a escuchar cada ost en orden JAJAJA pero si binks no sake en violin si me pone en llanto😭🫶🏽

si tengo preguntas JAJAJA pero prefiero tenerlas y tratar de no ver tanto spoiler para disfrutar el plot:’) de Law ya no tanto misterio porque ya llegué and I get the hype but he also looks kindy silly imo, lo vi y dije “Law tuvo un tumblr emo en el 2012 and he stuck with the vibe” JAJAJAJA

quisiera decir que está bien y solo es un anime but god I’m not your strongest soldier 🥲 JAJAJAJAJA sigo revisando ocasionalmente la guía que encontré para ver en orden por las películas (ay me encantó Strong World<3) pero aunque no la haya revisado ya presiento que estos arcos son los decisivos

it’s doing pretty good for me!! There were some weeks I realized it still hurt when try to sleep on that side pero volví a aplicarme neomicina como por una semana y desde ahí ya ningún problema🫡✨ ALSO did you see the Mackenyu apparently has a whole clothing brand and released some merch?? Yo dije “yo sé que sin duda todo va a estar caro, pero quiero ver si sacó los aretes” y pues, efectivamente están increíblemente JAJAJAJAJA

lastimosamente, si soy JAJAJAJA yo sé que objetivamente no estoy vieja porque no es como que esté en mis 40s-70s BUT STILL sometimes it feels like I have the back and the knees of a grandma💀 but let’s hope working out more frequently helps with that lol

(acabo de recordar que no lo mencioné y solo lo pensé, pero también me encanta nuestro spanglish JAJAJAJAJ)

gonna put everything (the other ask too) on a read more because we're getting long LMFAO

siii si no fuese pq obligué a mi hermano a ver el live action jamás me habría dado cuenta AJJAJAJ that's the good thing about watching everything more than once i guess you start noticing things you didn't before

emo law my beloved he gets even more emo gotta love that dude. pero sí es mejor tener preguntas q después se te responden solas q spoilearte ajajaj

ay yo aún no veo las películaaaaaaaaaas. i told myself i would watch them as soon as i was done with the anime and yet here i am for some reason putting them off LMFAO i'm like i have nothing to do should i watch the movies? and then i don't

i did saw his collection!!!! i saw people complaining about how expensive it was and i was like ............. my guys it literally says there luxury brand LMAO pq claro puedes encontrar los aritos más baratos en etsy o lo q querai, pero entre q estai pagando por la marca en sí y también la marca registrada de one piece obvio q te va a salir un ojo de la cara AJAJJAJ i saw the hoodies and they were soooo pretty and honestly worth that kind of money. also all the characters had their own spin on the logo of the brand and i thought it was so cute good for him for making this collab tbh

no pero estoy igual AJAJAJJA not even 30 yet and my hip and back are just Fucked, hopefully working out will turn out better for you than for me LSDHGL

i'm not gonna spoil anything but they have even more Moments together and i just could go a little insane about them (i could go a little insane about all of sanji's relationships but that's another thing al together)

oda knows how powerful sanji would be with a decent wanted poster so he needs to humble him in more than one way LMFAO. y siiii de verdad amo como logra hablar de tantos temas tan variados de la manera q lo hace, pq tampoco parecen fuera de lugar todo tiene demasiado sentido con la historia de verdad 10/10

dude the way i was Sobbing when that happened they made it so sad and just heart breaking because no one could do shit about it and it was literally the only time luffy was like dude we gotta run away or else and yet he still couldn't save them

some people genuinely ship them like to the point of actually wanting them to end up together and i'm like ??????? luffy cares about her but not like That just let her be delulu and honestly a huge help

no pero esq todas sus islas son literalmente tan buenas para cada uno de ellos AJAJAJ son todo lo q necesitan y no diré mucho más pq spoilers :) admitiré q no me gusta la manera q interpretan por así decirlo a las drag queens, pero pucha q me reí igual parte de mi estaba como es lo q se merece sanji por ser tan tonto a veces JAJAAJ

[knights-unwelcommentary]

@abraxas-calibrator 

From what I remember it’s that part of her breakup reasons were implied to be that she never liked him pale and that she was only with him as a chore to prevent genocide even though she mentioned in an earlier chat that she knew he was not serious about his plans against land dwellers. And also that she broke up with him while the planet was getting destroyed, over text. I loved the drama

Basically the whole relationship was a sham, from Eridan’s side because he was flushed all along(and not doing anything a moirail should do) and from Feferi’s side cause there was never any romance involved in it, only the utilitarian use of quadrants as a tool to keep society moving

Lemme dig up the quotes I can find

“ CC: Well I am going to join my team pretty late. CC: I t)(ink I )(ave to! CC: I will need to connect after my goofball moirail does so I can keep my goggles on )(is nefarious escapades. CC: Its a toug)( job but its important! Everyone )(as an important job to do. GA: Yeah CC: Isnt t)(at w)(at youre doing too? Joining late to keep an eye on yours? GA: I Dont Know For A Fact That She Is Mine CC: )(a)(a youre not supposed to know for a FACT dummy! CC: You just do w)(at you t)(ink is rig)(t and even if you were wrong t)(e worst t)(at )(appened was you )(elped somebody and )(elped t)(e w)(ole world too! “

“ CC: S)(e will be gone soon. 38( CC: T)(oug)( I guess it will be a relief not to )(ave to worry about keeping )(er voice down anymore! GA: I Wonder If Any Other Kid On The Planet Has As Many Burdens In The Fire As You GA: I Doubt It CC: T)(ey arent burdens! CC: Ok I guess t)(ey are )(a)(a. CC: But I love t)(em and I wouldnt )(ave it any ot)(er way because t)(is is w)(y Im )(ere! “

“ CC: None of your plots to kill t)(e land dwellers ever work out, and every doomsday device you get your )(ands on turns out to be a piece of junk! CA: so CA: i got to keep tryin thats howw all the great military masterminds became great through upright persevverance CC: I t)(ink deep down you stack t)(ese plots against you so you fail because you know it's wrong. “

“ CC: W)(at about your friends? Do you ever t)(ink about t)(em? CC: If t)(ey are beneat)( you t)(en t)(ey )(ave to die too. CC: And I know you like talking to some of t)(em. You say you )(ate t)(em but I t)(ink you are pretending! CA: history is full of cases wwhere conquerers consort wwith members of the enemy in a mannerly wway before wwipin them out CA: evven goin as far as growwin fond a some CA: its only civvilized CC: Mmm )(mm. CC: I )(ave a fis)(y feeling... CC: T)(at t)(is stupid doomsday mac)(ine t)(ing is just anot)(er excuse to consort! CC: Wit)( someone in particular... “

And then there’s the chat and breakup right after Feferi enters the medium

“CA: and i decided i havve something i wwant to tell you CA: that ivve been meaning to get off my nub for a wwhile noww CC: O)(, really? CC: T)(at's good! Actually, I )(ave somet)(ing I )(ave been meaning to say to you too. CA: wwhoa really CA: uh CA: wwhat is it CA: you go first CC: Mm, okay. CC: But t)(is isn't easy to say! CA: yeah i knoww CA: its ok maybe i wwill understand more than you think CA: wwe might evven be sayin the same thing CC: Okay, I )(ope so. CC: I t)(ink... CC: Now t)(at we are bot)( in t)(is game, and )(ave left our world be)(ind... CC: And you can no longer pose t)(e danger to our people t)(at you )(ad always planned to... CC: I t)(ink it is not really necessary for me to be your moirail anymore. CA: wwhoa CA: wwait CA: wwhat CC: 38( CC: I am really sorry, -Eridan. It )(as just been so )(ard looking after you and keeping you out of trouble! CC: It )(as taken its toll, and )(onestly I am really ex)(austed. “

[leossmoonn]

could i please request a stefan fluff where the reader is like spanish or smth, but she speaks ij english with everyone. and her and stefan are dating. so one day she gets upset over smth so she starts ranting in spanish and stefan can't understand a thing. and he's like "oh- ok-" even though he didn't understand anything. if not thats ok! have a nice day!!

have a nice day too <33

masterlist

pairing - stefan salvatore x spanish speaking, fem!reader

type - fluff, angst

note - i put the reader as a spanish speaker and not just spanish, so it could be more inclusive :). and i'm so sorry that this is so bad. i couldn't come up with a better plot like i wanted to, but i hope you enjoy anyways!

warnings / includes - language, kissing, food and alcohol mention, cute couple stuff, you getting upset (duh), kissing, stefan trying to be supportive but also being really confused lol. you all are like in your late 20s for this lol. for those who aren't spanish speakers, i will put translations in little text under each sentence/paragraph

————

"Sí. Bueno, lo retomaré más tarde. Gracias," you hung up the phone, setting it down with a smile on your face.

["Yes. Okay, I will pick it up later. Thank you."]

"Hey, who was that?" Stefan come over to you, wrapping his arm around your waist.

"That was Lucas's friend. He was able to get the cake and the cupcakes made early!" You squealed, jumping up and down in his arms.

"Oh, that's awesome! Looks like Caroline won't be bugging you anymore," Stefan chuckled.

"Oh, I know. Man, am I happy to finally get this party planning over with," you sighed, turning around and leaning against the counter.

You smiled as you came face-to-face with your boyfriend. You hung your arms around his neck lazily, twirling the hair on the nape of his neck with your first fingers.

"Tired?" Stefan raised a brow, settings hands on your hips.

"Exhausted. And to think the actual party is tonight," you chuckled. "Well, that's the easiest part, right?" Stefan asked.

"Yeah, watching over twenty-to-twenty five eleven years olds is easy," you rolled your eyes.

"You'll have help. Caroline, me, Bonnie, Ric, Elena, Matt. Even Damon has volunteered to watch them!"

"Or lure them in a back corner and fed on them," you scoffed. "Hey, Damon's a lot of things, but he is not a child-blood-sucker," Stefan defended.

"Awe, you're defending him. How cute," you booped his nose.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. We are goals. Or whatever the kids are saying these days."

You giggled at his words, turning back around as you heard the front door open. You looked to see Caroline, Bonnie, and Elena carrying the twins, a bunch of presents, and at least five boxes of pizza.

"Damn. I wish you guys bought me this many presents!" You exclaimed.

"Oh, shut up. We give you a bottle of champagne and you're already over the moon," Elena snickered.

"Well, what can I say? I'm a simple gal," you grinned.

"Hey, Stef, can you help, please? Put these next to the window sill," Bonnie ordered as she was carrying most of the presents.

"Yeah, of course," Stefan nodded. He ran over to her with his vampire speed, picking up the presents at lightening speed and laying them out in towers.

"Thank you," Bonnie sighed. "Yeah, no problem. Hey, why didn't you just use your magic to carry them in?" Stefan asked.

"I need to save my energy for the kids," Bonnie explained.

"Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. I didn't know we were letting the world know our secret," you frowned.

"We aren't! They're just a bunch of kids. Plus, we can just compel them to forget. Josie and Lizzie really want to show them tricks, too," Caroline bounced the twins in her arms.

You looked to the two girls who were giggling and smiling. You sighed, "Fine. Anyways, guess who was able to get the cake and the cupcakes."

"Oh, my God! You?" Caroline gasped. "Yep. Call me Santa Claus 'cause I just delivered!" You grinned.

Elena, Bonnie, and Stefan cringed at your joke.

"Not your best work, Y/n," Elena shook her head.

"What! Hey, that was pretty good," you frowned. "You'll get 'em next time, babe," Stefan smiled, going over to you and patting you on the back.

"Okay, you guys are just jealous because you're not as funny as me," you scoffed.

"Oh, yeah, we're jealous all right," Bonnie smirked.

You opened your mouth to retort back, but your phone started ringing. You looked at the Caller ID, seeing that it was your brother, Lucas. You gave them all a death glare, picking up your phone and going into the other room.

"Hey, amigo, what's up?" You asked.

"Uh, bad news, chica," Lucas sighed. "Oh?" You raised a brow.

"Yeah, turns out that Darryl can't make the cake or the cupcakes today."

You opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Your eyes were wide as saucers as you thought of what to say.

"Y/n? Please say something," Luca begged.

You turned your head, your face screwing up in guilt and anger as you saw Lizzie and Josie playing with Bonnie and Stefan. You turned back and focused on the conversation you were having with you very trusting brother.

"¿Qué quiere decir Darryl no puede hacer el pastel o cupcakes?"

[What do you mean darryl can't make the cake or cupcakes?"]

"I mean that he can't make them. Do I need to explain to you what those words mean? And why are you speaking in Spanish? Afraid someone will —"

"En realidad, lo soy, Lucas. Dios, eres tan poco confiable. ¡Y ese amigo tuyo! Espera, ¿podría recuperar mi dinero?"

["Actually, I am, Lucas. God, you are so unreliable. And that friend of yours! Wait, am I going to be able to get my money back?"]

"Um… probably not. But it's okay, I'll pay you back!"

"Ah, ¿cuándo? ¿Después de sacar dinero del fondo universitario de su hijo? ¿O se lo van a pedir a mamá y papá esta vez?"

["Oh, when? After you take out money from your child's college fund? Or are you going to ask mom and dad for it this time?"]

"Hey, don't blame me! Blame Darryl. All I did was hook you up with him!"

"Y probablemente sabías que era un gilipollas mentiroso y que robaba dinero. Llámame de vuelta cuando seas capaz de no mentirme, ¿sí?"

["And you probably knew that he was a lying, money-stealing asshole. Call me back when you're able to not lie to me, yeah?"]

"Wait, Y/n, I-"

You hung up the phone, throwing it on the chair next to you. You groaned quietly, the bridge of your nose burning as tears welled up in your eyes.

"¿Cómo puedes ser tan estúpido, Y/n? Confiando en él después de todo lo demás que ha hecho. Estúpido, estúpido, estúpido!"

["How can you be so stupid, Y/n? Trusting him after everything else he's done. Stupid, stupid, stupid!"]

Stefan, who was throwing up Lizzie and Josie in the air, heard your mutters in the other room. He frowned and put the girls down, promising them that he would be back in a second after checking up on you. He walked into the next room slowly, putting his arm around you lightly.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

You jumped at his voice and touch, sniffling and wiping the tears from your face. "Y-Yeah. Just some um, family stuff."

"Want to talk about it?" Stefan asked.

You sighed, turning around to him. His hand intertwined with yours, squeezing it for support.

"It's just… Lucas. He's just so… jodidamente molesto," you sighed. "Él simplemente no piensa en otras personas y las consecuencias. Quiero decir, trata de ayudar, lo que es agradable, pero siempre termina por pagar dinero a la gente, o termina por tener un ojo negro."

[“He is just so… fucking annoying. He just doesn't think about other people and the consequences. I mean, he tries to help, which is nice, but he always either ends up owing people money, or ends up having a black eye.”]

"O-Oh, yeah," Stefan nodded, his brows furrowed as he tried to understand. But you were speaking so fast and with so much anger, he barely picked up a word.

"Y como su hermana mayor, sé que probablemente se supone que voy fácil con él, pero es un hombre crecido. ¡Debe saber estas cosas! Ugh, sabía que debería haber ordenado a ellos como, Target o algo, pero el amigo de su “aparentemente” es capaz de hacer diseños realmente lindos y hacer arte fondant en tiempo récord, así que tomé mis mis oportunidades. ¿Y adivina dónde estoy ahora?"

[“And as his older sister, I know I'm probably supposed to go easy on him, but he's a grown man. He should know these things! Ugh, I knew I should've just ordered them from like, Target or something, but hsi friend "apparently" is able to do really cute designs and make fondant art in record time, so I took my chances. And guess where I am now?”]

"Right, right. Wow, I'm sorry, babe, I —"

"Ciento cincuenta dólares cortos con dos niñas que van a estar tristes cuando no consiguen su pastel de sirena barbie y cupcakes con temática de Minecraft. ¡Argh!"

["One hundred and fifty dollars short with two little girls who are going to be sad when they don't get their Barbie Mermaid cake and Minecraft-themed cupcakes. Argh!"]

You stopped your rant when you noticed Stefan looked at you with a confused expression on his face. You thought for a moment to yourself, beginning to laugh at yourself as you realised you were speaking in Spanish.

"I'm sorry, Stef. I didn't realise you couldn't understand me."

He smiled and shrugged. "No worries. At least you were able to get it all out, right?"

"A little. When I punch Lucas, I'll be able to get it all out," you grinned.

"That's my girl."

————

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[hartrathaway]

Hii I'm interested in Hartley's story but I know literally nothing about him except that he was Wally's gay bestie in the 90s, what's his deal? Do you have any comic recs for him?

HI IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG!!!!!!!!

Okay, so really brief, his dealio is: born to ‘incredibly rich’ parents (we never get a specified ballpark, but Hartley states that he was ‘born with two silver spoons in [his] mouth’ if that helps context wise), Hartley’s deaf!  His parents had him get cochlear implants when he was a child, which ‘medically healed him’.  (His deafness has been treated extremely ablest by writers who actually remember he’s deaf, I need to warn you of this now.)  He’s a music and sound waves guy, a former villain (it’s an on again off again relationship, but a lot of his character is defined by his time as a hero) and he’s very leftist.  Gay best friend in the AIDS crisis turned Wally West from a midwestern conservative to a leftie as well.  (Wally’s wife, Linda Park, was a major contributing factor, but we’re focusing on Hartley for this, so I’m gonna talk about him.)

I’ve got a mix of good reading from all over, so I’m gonna break this into sections, and do my best to describe which is which.  (all my screencaps are from this website right here, because i do not own all the back issues and it would have taken much, much longer to do this post, and as such, some of them are not sized or formatted correctly)  Click the read more if you’re interested!  Please note: I am not a 100% authority figure on Hartley, and I know there’s a few stories I have left out (the story with Bart Allen’s first appearance is a good one that Hartley is in), but these are the gist of who is he, what he’s been up to, and what is the family drama.

So for New Earth (otherwise known as post-Crisis on Infinite Earths), is where Hartley actually becomes Wally’s friend, and is a hero!  I’m going to focus on this section first.  Unfortunately, due to being a minor character, a lot of stuff is broken into small stories, or things that are happening behind the scenes, so there’s no real issue x - y that’s gonna help much.

The Flash Vol 2 #31, #32 Quick summary: In issue 31, supervillain here is killing homeless people, Hartley has been helping these same people get up on their feet by helping them get squatter’s rights.  They skip the fighting because a kid asks if they’re going to fight for a half hour and then team up, and go right to the team up.  They get Linda Park in, supervillain ends up backfiring his powers.  In issue 32, Wally, Hartley, and their pal Mason officially move to Keystone city.  Hartley’s folks are in trouble while the three of them are trying to freeload (off of Hartley’s parents, his and his parents’ relationship is better now than it had been, for a multitude of reasons), Wally and Hartley rescue Hartley’s parents, we also meet Jerrie, Hartley’s sister, and all is resolved there.  Yay, the family loves each other again!

(issue 31)

(issue 32)

The Flash Vol 2 #53 Special mention this is the issue where Hartley comes out and also has to inform Wally that Wally cannot tell who is a homosexual.  Also Wally’s an IRS agent here, for shame Wallace.  At least Hartley gets to cosplay Wally at the end, so that’s fun.  Content warning for this issue specifically is some casual homophobia, just so you know that going in.

(issue 53)

The Flash Vol 2 #170 In 170, Hartley’s being contacted by his father to call in ‘a favor’ that Hartley owes him.  The main plot line includes (one of) Wally’s ex(es) showing up, a former hero and teammate, Frances Kane, otherwise known as Magneta.  A person has been found murdered at Keystone Motors, and supervillain Goldface begins rallying union workers (which seems to just be a poorly timed coincidence).  The story itself (170 - 173) in and of itself is really fun, but I’m only going to talk about Hartley, or else I’ll be here all day.

(issue 170)

The Flash Vol 2 #174, #175, #178, #179 And here we get some drama! I’m grouping all of these together, since it’s all the same chunk of the story for Hartley, but since it’s the Flash, Wally’s center stage.  In 174, the people who were living with the Rathaway family aren’t exactly big fans of Hartley.  They know he’s changed his ways, he’s a hero now, but it’s just…  something feels off.  There’s loud music sounds, and bam!  Suddenly Hartley’s there and oh boy is this gonna be a hot mess.  In issue 175, we see some footage, and Hartley’s the lead suspect in his parents’ murder, considering that the footage has Hartley onscreen.  178 rolls up, and after Wally’s getting Gorilla Grodd taken care of (and that fight is a doozy), Wally gets to find out Hartley’s been arrested for the murder of his own parents, and Hartley confesses on-screen to his parents’ murder  (Also Hartley’s got a beard now, that’s how you know he’s depressed.) 179 opens with Hartley being processed.  Linda and Wally go to see him, and although Hartley confessed, he said “I think I did.”  (emphasis is mine; in the panel Hartley says “I think I did.”) Joker?  He’s got some Joker-fied people, and poor Hartley gets it too :(  Hartley straight up nearly kills Captain Boomerang (it’s okay, Wally stops him), and surprise!  Welcome back to Iron Heights Hartley.  Gonna have a fun time :)

(issue 174; this is the least messy part of the panel, but it was intended to be that way)

(issue 175)

(issue 178)

(issue 179)

The Flash: Iron Heights Brief interlude from the main comic line, we’ve got a one-shot that’s taking place in Iron Heights.  This takes place before Hartley gets arrested, presumably (since, y’know, they’re breaking in and all).  Fun one-shot honestly, keeps me on my toes the whole time.  Hartley’s a main character, and it’s less personal drama and very story driven.  You don’t need this to enjoy Hartley regardless, but I enjoy it!

(The Flash: Iron Heights, which you can read here.)

The Flash Volume 2 #189, #190 189! Now we find out how Hartley’s parents were actually murdered!  No spoilers, but we do get a prison breakout.  This is where we get some origin story! Don’t read this first though, because you’re going to be spoiling yourself the plot of his arrest.  In 190 we get more origin, including the way DC treated his deafness. (It’s ablest, and I’m still mentally grappling how you wouldn’t notice your child being deaf for two years, but okay Rachel and Osgood, you keep being bad.)  The story goes on for now, with Hartley on the run from… well, everyone.

(issue 189)

(issue 190)

This is pretty much it for New Earth Hartley up until Countdown.

I don’t like Countdown at all.  I’m much happier pretending that Countdown doesn’t exist (both because of how it treats Hartley for a multitude of reasons, and how Thad Thawne is treated leading up to Countdown).  More happens with Hartley’s storyline in Countdown, but I hate it with such a passion that I wouldn’t recommend it at all.  Countdown leads into Final Crisis, and I’m not a fan of either.  However, should you wish to read and make your own opinions, here’s Countdown and here’s Final Crisis.  Please note, Countdown’s issues are done in reverse order (so from issue 51 to 1, rather than 1 to 51)

And now I’m going to tell you the gospel truth:

I do like New 52 Hartley!  A lot. Unfortunately, he’s not as much in the n52 Flash run as I would like (but I’m biased, as obvious by my url).  What you need to know is that Hartley’s a musician now, like orchestra director, and he’s in a relationship with Barry’s boss, David Singh. (power move, honestly)  Unfortunately, we don’t get a whole lot in the main line.  Also at this point, the Wally West of New Earth hasn’t transitioned to the n52.  Wallace West of n52 is an entirely different character, and that’s a whole other issue for another discussion.  Wally West as we know him from New Earth doesn’t come back for a while.  Wally and Hartley haven’t talked since before Flashpoint, and that’s a shame. 

So read the Crimes of Passion Anthology he’s got please I’m begging you.  The only downside is that the artist gave him a haircut.

(Crimes of Passion: Secret Admirer)

I haven’t read anything DCeased related, and while I know Hartley gets his time to shine and kiss David, I can’t tell you much beyond that.  I’m pretty sure there’s other people who can tell you more, but it’s not me I’m afraid.  (This is me saying guys, please tell me about Hartley in DCeased, someone tell me about my fictional lavender marriage husband.)

[jisungsplatforms]

[Chapter I: Let’s Party!]

Pairing: Producer/Music Major! Han Jisung x Photographer! fem! reader

Genre: NSFW! Smut; non idol au, college au, strangers to lovers

Warnings: strong language, use of alcoholic beverages, drunken antics, ?? jackson wang is throwing a party?? (jk he’s not aljsks. changbin is tho), nothing filthy in this chapter, unfortunately :/ just plot build up

Chapter word count: 2.6k words

Taglist: @hyunjeongins @seungstarss @es-kay-zee @hyunjinsplaything @formidxble @freckledquokka (want to be added? send an ask or a dm! <3)

Haven University; school of the elite. From the academically inclined to the artistically blessed, only those who were gifted with such talents are accepted to augment their potential. The perfect school for the sensational.

...And like every other school with young hormonal adults, also the perfect school for a good fuck.

“Another outstanding submission, Y/n! Keep up the great work!”

You smiled at your photography teacher, Mr. Kim, bowing humbly as you thanked him. You were proud. Praise after praise for your picture taking skills only heightened your motivation to be the best even more. Photography has always been your passion. Ever since you were given your very first camera at the age of 5 years old- which, in retrospect, was actually a toy camera, you already knew that it is something you would want to pursue.

In the middle of your teacher’s praises with another student, the bell rang. “Looks like we ran out of time, folks. Great job again, Seungmin. Everyone, class dismissed,” he said, jokingly using shooing gestures. “Now hurry up and get out of my face, you delinquents. Lunch time awaits. Go replenish your life force.”

You began gathering your belongings, slinging your precious DSLR camera around your neck. “Outstanding submission, young photographer.” You heard someone say. You turned around to see Seungmin grinning at you.

You snort out a laugh. “Thanks. Great job to you too, Seungmo.” Seungmin was about to respond when your instructor’s voice interrupted.

“Oh. Except Y/n. Please stay a little bit after class, for me, dear.” You and Seungmin shared a glance, nodding for him to go ahead without you. He pats your shoulder, bidding you goodbye. You continued packing your things into your bag. As the rest of the students left the room, you walked towards Mr. Kim’s desk, waiting for his word. “Hello, Y/n.”

“Hello, sir. You wanted to talk to me?”

“Ah yes. I wanted to ask you this,” your instructor paused, sitting on his desk. “How much do you love photography?”

You paused, wanting to convey the exact feelings you wanted to express. “Photography is an escape for me,” you answered. “It’s another form of art that helps people convey the emotions and stories people want to tell. Some people express their emotions through music and lyrics, others through paintings, and others through dance. For me, personally, I’m not all that good in any of those aspects, sir. That is why I work so hard when it comes to this class, and in photography in general.” You unconsciously caressed the camera slung around your neck. “And to me, the stories behind a photo is a lot more intimate in a way that I just can’t explain.”

“Because...this is the only way for you to express yourself? Is that what you’re trying to tell me?” You nodded. Mr. Kim hummed in thought. “I see.” He stood up and walked to you, placing his warm hands on your shoulder. “I admire you, kid.”

“You...admire me?” You were confused. The teacher admires his student? Isn’t it usually the other way around?

“Oh yeah. Is that hard to believe?”

“Uhm...Kinda, yeah.”

Mr. Kim laughed mirthfully, amused by your bewilderment and doubt. “Well, believe it. You have spunk. Soul. Your work impart emotions I have never seen from my other students before. You’re passionate about what you do, and I like that. You take digital arts very seriously.”

You laughed awkwardly, the amount of praise your instructor was giving you made you happy. “I do, sir. Kinda a shame not a lot of people even consider it an art.”

“Indeed,” he replied, sitting down on his desk. “Which is why I wanted to give you an impromptu assignment. I want to assign you a story telling type of assignment; to write a story using your photography skills, if that makes sense.”

“Hm, yes? I think I get a jist of what you're trying to tell me.”

“Excellent. I just want to use this to monitor your skills, Y/n. You’re a very talented person, the most talented I’ve ever had even. I just want to see how much of that potential you really have so I can help you blossom it into something greater.”

“Oh,” you draw out, somewhat understanding why he picked you. “I see, sir. I’m honored that you’ve picked me.”

“You should,” he joked. “Now, I want you to photograph the following- write or type this down before you forget.” You hastily whipped out your phone from your pocket. “Ready?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Okay. I want you to capture the perfect scenes. Give me something that gives you joy. Something that makes you emotional, good or bad or even both, if you can. Something you fear, and finally, something that you love unconditionally. These are all supposed to be different photos, by the way. Got that?”

You finished typing a few seconds later. “And...got it.”

“Awesome!” he smiled. “Just know that I’ll be giving you only 3 months to complete the assignment. I hope that this isn’t too much to ask of you, but I’m sure someone as ambitious as you doesn’t mind, right?”

“Nope, sir! Everything will be a-okay!”

“I’m glad! Now move along and get to the canteen already. I’m sure you’re just as hungry as I am.”

You giggled, making your way to the door. “Thank you sir! I’ll see you tomorrow!”

“Oh, finally! There you are! We were starving waiting for you!” You rolled your eyes at Minho, who immediately decided to pick on you the second you entered his field of sight.

“Shut up, you could’ve eaten without me you know?”

“Nah, cause what kind of friends would we be if you ate without you?”

“You just want to steal some of my food, don’t you?”

Minho scoffed and went quiet, prompting Hyunjin, Seungmin, and Jeongin to laugh. “Caught you red-handed, Hyung,” Hyunjin teased, which backfired immediately causing him to chant an apology after Minho gave him a look.

“So why did you take so long, Y/n?” Jeongin asked.

“Oh, Mr. Kim wanted to give me an extra assignment.”

“Extra assignment?” Seungmin questioned. “What for?”

You shrugged, sitting down. “Uh, to test me? I’m not sure but I honestly think that there’s something more behind it. Not in like a bad way, just to clarify. I mean, he did acknowledge that I’m the best in his class after all.”

Seungmin snorted. “I just know you meant that unironically.” You jokingly blew a raspberry at him.

“Of course Y/n is the best!” Hyunjin stuck his chin up. “Let’s be honest, anyone could be the best if they use me as their model!”

“Hey, Hyunjin? You wanna eat this straw?” Minho threatened, making Hyunjin shut up.

“No...?”

“Good. Get off your high horse, prince charming.”

The three of you laughed. “Poor Hyunjin,” Jeongin sympathized sardonically.

“Hyunjin please stick to dancing and uh- not dying,” you said. “I still need you alive for some more upcoming projects.”

“For me too,” said Seungmin. “I might start using you as my model as well.”

Hyunjin fake cried, “Y’all just like me for my looks!”

“I mean, there’s no denying you are incredibly handsome but we like your personality too, Hyunie, don’t worry,” you cheered him up, then turned to Jeongin. “What about you, Yeni? How’re you holding up now that Lix is gone?”

Jeongin gasped. “I miss him! I’m so lonely now, especially when I have theatre! I feel so awkward now that girls swarm up to me instead- and you know I’m a shy boy!”

“Hey! At least you’re more popular now!” Minho laughed.

“Well, now we have no choice but to remember Felix in our hearts,” Seungmin replied.

“I’m not fucking dead. I just switched majors!” the four of you turned to see Felix pouting at you all.

“Well, you’re dead to me!” Jeongin wailed. “Going from a theatre major to a dance major. How could you?!”

Felix chuckled, sitting down between Seungmin and Jeongin. “I’m sorry! You know I’ll still see you though, buddy!”

“Why don’t you just switch to a regular vocal major next semester, Yeni?” you asked.

“Nah. I originally did want to go for just regular vocal studies but, you know, even if I did accidently sign up for the class, I ended up finding something else I wanna do. Plus, theatre is surprisingly fun! You know, find something new that’ll change your life every day.”

“Yup! Especially since they often collab with the dance majors so we get to see each other a lot!” Hyunjin beamed while Minho nodded in acknowledgment.

“Oh, speaking of dancing,” Minho chimed in. “You guys wanna go to a party I was invited to?”

“No,” Seungmin immediately responded.

“No, not you, I knew you would say no. I meant the others.”

Hyunjin nodded, “I was invited to the same party you’re talking about, so yeah.”

“Can’t,” Felix replied. “I’m still getting used to my new major and I still have a few assignments to catch up on.”

Jeongin hummed in agreement. “Same here. We have a play coming up soon and I’m a lead this time, so I gotta stay home to rehearse as much as I can.”

Minho made a stank face, “Aww. Lame.” He turned to you. “What about you, Y/n? You down?”

You thought about it for a moment. “Yeah, sure. Why not?”

“Really?” All 5 boys looked at you incredulously.

“Yeah. I might find some inspiration while I’m there. Besides you know I’ll just be leeching off of Hyunie and Min the whole time.”

Minho and Hyunjin high-fived, cheering a quiet ‘yes!’ Hyunjin giggled. “This is great cause we might need a designated back up driver in case I get drunk and Minho-hyung abandons me!”

“Now that you’ve said that, I might seriously consider that,” Minho grinned. “We’ll pick you up at 8 sharp! Y/n!”

‘8:53pm’ You wanted to go home already.

The boys, true to their word, picked you up at 8:00pm. With little to no traffic- and the fact that Hyunjin actually got ready early so that they wouldn’t be an hour late- the three of you made it to the party around 8:20pm. Even then there were already a lot of people there.

“What the fuck. This house is huge!” you gawked. “Can you even consider this a house still?!”

Hyunjin shrugged. “I’d say this more of a mansion at this point.” All you do mutter a constant chant of ‘what the fuck. what the fuck’ over and over again. “Who’s house is this again, Minho?”

“Changbin’s, remember? Jisung said they’re celebrating in his house,” Minho replied.

“Well this Changbin dude is LOADED,” you mused. Even in the dim lighting, you could see the elegance of the house, which most likely costs more than your entire tuition. “I’d hate to be the one who has to clean up the place.” The boys lead you to the kitchen, helping you avoid the crowd cause, in your words, ‘ew yucky people’. There, they brought you to two men wearing all black, who were hanging out on the island counter. Their names were Changbin- the handsome rich boy who owns the house, the lucky bastard- and Chan- another handsome rich boy with the cutest laugh and dimples, both really sweet and hilarious men, whom you very much enjoyed talking to...

That was the last memory you had before it went downhill.

It took 33 minutes and 4 soju bottles later for Hyunjin to get drunk. Chan and Changbin were back at the booth, manning the song list for the night while Minho was somewhere with some guy in a red beanie doing absolutely nothing, so here you were: stuck babysitting your best friend. “Y/n! Y/n!”

You sighed hearing Hyunjin drunkenly call you. Again. “Yes, Hyunie?”

“I looove you~!” he sang while giving you finger hearts, rocking on the balls of his feet. You sighed again, rubbing your temple.

“Yeah yeah. I know. Love you too.”

“Y/n!” Your left eye twitched. You whipped out your phone from your bra to text Minho.

Me: You bitch.

Help me

Minho ho ho 😼: Hi

No

You glowered. You quickly glanced up to check Hyunjin, who was now sitting on the carpeted floor in front of you, counting his luscious black hair.

Me: He’s-he’s counting his hair… Please get him. It’s like watching a bird repeatedly hitting glass

Minho ho ho 😼: At least he’s not making any trouble now, is he?

He fucking jinxed it. Hyunjin stood up with a shocked look on his face. “What’s wrong, Hyunjin?”

“It’s my favorite song!” he cheered, starting to dance along. You have to admit, even when he’s drunk, he’s still an exceptional dancer. Texting Minho a quick ‘fuck you’. You put your phone back between your breasts to go back to monitoring him, preparing yourself in case you needed to tackle Hyunjin down.

“Heyyy, Y/n!” Minho suddenly draped his arm around your shoulder. Taking your eyes off of Hyunjin, you glared at your lazy, backstabbing friend, shoving his arm off of you.

“Asshole, you’re ten minutes late.”

“Oh I'm not here for Hyunjin. I need your phone.” You look at him audaciously.

“What the- why?”

“My-uh-phone died?” he said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. Your eyes briefly flickered towards Minho’s friend, who, in return, looked down bashfully, red faced. Hm. Weird. You rolled your eyes, nonchalantly reaching into your shirt to get your phone. Minho didn’t even hide his grimace. He cringed, “It’s warm...and wet?”

“Shut up. I’m sweating, okay? And I don’t have any pockets on me.”

Minho nodded, going back to his little friend. Before you could scold him, you heard Hyunjin screaming. You turned around to find him running to the front door. Oh shit. You started pushing people to run after him

You groaned in disgust, wanting nothing more than to get the hell out of here. You pushed your way out of the crowd, cringing at the feeling of touching numerous dirty, unknown people. Where in the world is the fucking exit? In the midst of the sweaty, drunken bodies, your eyes met. It was like time had stopped; no one within the vicinity seemed to not have mattered anymore. With just a smirk and a flirty wink from the chubby-cheeked boy in the red beanie, you knew…

...you just had to fuck him

Hold on, Y/n. Your friend might get fucking ran over! You snapped out of it. With a flustered face, you continued shoving your way through, wrangling Minho on the way. “Come on, fucker. You’re helping me. Let’s go,” you sneered while Minho complained.

After 30 minutes of chasing and wrestling, the drunken beast was tamed. The night ended with Minho driving you all home instead while you and Hyunjin cuddled in the backseat against your will. Minho took great pleasure in knowing that he wasn’t Hyunjin’s cuddle buddy, laughing every time you tried unlatching yourself from him, which made the long haired boy cry. Your sadistic friend dropped you home first, apologizing for not being much of a help tonight. “To make it up to you, I have something for you,” he suspiciously said, wiggling his eyebrows, before giving your phone back and driving off.

You relaxed on your bed, happy that you were rid of those dirty, smelly clothes. You grabbed your phone to text Minho. Assuming that the messages app was left on your conversation with him, you started texting, not paying any mind to the fact that the chat was blank.

Me: Thanks for taking me I guess. I didn’t get anything other than unwanted kisses from Hyunjin ew but it’s aight.

Speaking of aight…Do you think you can give me your friend’s number? 👁👁 The one with the red beanie.

Cause sir, not to be nsfw or anything but he is one fine ass man that I’d like to fuck

Almost immediately, the three bubbles appeared. You were surprised that Minho would reply that fast, thinking we was still on the road with Hyunjin. The reply you got, however, made your heart drop.

Min’s hoe: uh...hi? 👋🏻

this is minho’s “fine ass friend with the red beanie” 👁👁

Shitshitshitshit SHIT

[NEXT CHAPTER]

A/n: Sorry no smut in this chapter just plot build up :(( (which i’m a sucker for) and a lot of dialogue. But Trust me. Everything written in this chapter will fall into place with the future chapters. And who know, next chapter might be 🥵

[deadinside-butstill-horny]

The Night We Met

Part Three - Most Of You

Pairing: Javier Peña/ Female Murphy!Reader

Words: 10k - Word count got away from me.

Summary: We learn a little about Y/N’s past. Tequila is involved and inhibitions lowered. 

Content Warnings: Mentions of death, themes of PTSD,18+ SMUT warning, oral, fingering, dirty talk, penetrative sex. Lots and lots of consent, cause consent is sexy and you know our boy Javi is nothing if not respectful.

MASTERLIST

AO3

Author Note: I really enjoyed writing this. It’s absolutely just porn with minor plot but I have no regrets.

Got the gif from this photo set during the week because THAT’S THE SMILE I’M ON ABOUT. That cute as fuck half smile; it melts my heart. 

Part One   -  Part Two 

It just so happened that when Javier decided to stop trying to seduce you, the two of you could actually be around one another and have a good time. Well, not quite as good as that night. But in the grand scheme of things; good-ish. 

After the debauchery that had occurred outside of the church the two of you had ceremonially agreed to a ceasefire on all hostilities with your second meeting. You were equal parts surprised and disappointed that Javier had been on his best behaviour, the two of you had successfully bought the ingredients and were currently producing what was sure to be a decent breakfast without either of you ending up naked. 

He was the picture of domesticity as he sat on the counter top with a beer in his hand at 8:15am as you whisked some eggs in a bowl using a fork, you paused for a moment, taking a sip of your own beverage, then resuming your task as you threw the eggs into the too hot pan making them sizzle on the skillet. 

"No, no, no, no." Javier cried and pushed himself off of the counter as he tutted, coming to your side and placing his hand on the curve of your waist to move you out of his way. His hand slithers forward and lingers a second on your own fingers before he takes the spatula and puts space between the two of you to manage the task at hand. 

For a moment, you're perplexed. The movement itself wasn't particularly invasive or breaking from the gentlemanly persona he had adopted in the last two hours, but rather it was an act of, well, familiarity. Which reason dictates simply shouldn’t exist between the two of you. 

You had known each other for a grand total of 48 hours and that was being generous as you had been comatosed for easily 15 of those. He had a bad habit of popping up when you least expected it and disarming you with an easy smile. 

You didn’t like how he made you feel. Everything you said, you measured his reaction, a pull of his lip, a flash of his teeth or a narrow of his brow; these were his tells, well his obvious ones. 

You tried desperately to convince yourself that this was platonic analysis. It would seem you could kid Javier but you couldn’t trick yourself. You felt things for the man that you really shouldn’t after knowing him for two days. You were frustrated with the situation, he’d slept with another woman hours after your encounter. You were jealous, sure, but not betrayed.  

It was a matter of pride, that evening had somewhat extinguished the fire for the bronzed man who was currently trying to save the eggs you’d flash fried. What you were experiencing were embers. Yes, embers. The fire hadn’t completely been doused and all you had was a residual heat. A deep glowing burning heat, sure. But eventually reality would be sure to dump some more water on this fire and you wouldn’t feel this lingering need for the man, right?

“¡Espero que te gusten los huevos calientes!” Javier hollered over the sizzling with a smirk on his face as he scraped at the pan with the instrument he’d stolen from you. 

“Eggs and Hot? That’s all I got!” You question a smile warming your face, apparently his enthusiasm was contagious. 

He chuckled at your words and nodded, “Tu español no es tan malo linda dama!”

“I got nothin’ besides español,'' you shrug. Javier let out another snicker, he seemed to laugh a lot but he was missing the soft wrinkles bracketing his mustache which made you think that maybe this wasn’t his natural state. There was a light silence whilst he sliced the loaf of bread you’d picked from the store. As you were setting the table your book caught your eye from its place on the coffee table and you couldn’t resist trying out some of your newly learnt infant level language. 

“Hola Javier, mi nombre es Y/N. Mi color favorito es el Y/F/C.¡Me gustan los perros!” 

(My name is Y/N, My Favourite colour is Y/F/C. I like dogs!)

Javier turned around his expression; a picture of incredulousness. His eyebrows met in the middle of his forehead, his mustache almost touching his nose as you got a view of his brilliant white teeth in a genuine honest to god grin. If you had a camera, you’d have captured that moment.

“I’ll have to be careful around you, huh, sunshine? These new Spanish skills of yours could get me into trouble.”

“Bailar es divertido!” You exclaim using the only Spanish phrase you know.

“What?...Dancing is fun?... Where the hell did you learn this stuff?”

“Español … para... niños”

“Española para niñas” Javier corrected helpful “Unless you’ve got something you need to tell me...” 

“Damn! The masculine and feminine, they briefly touched upon the theory in Spanish for Kids. It wasn’t as in depth as you might think though.” You joke with a huff. “Hey, do you know where I can get a better translating book?”

“Learning Spanish, huh? How long are you plannin’ on staying exactly?” You jump at the addition of a third voice, Steve appears looking thoroughly rested with his voice two octaves lower than it should be.

“Well ya’ know Stevie, it’s pretty ignorant to not learn a little of the language of the country you’re in.”

“You didn’t answer the question.” Steve points out, you’d hoped he would give in and let it go considering Javier was here. Though seeing as he greeted his partner whilst grabbing a cup of coffee before turning expectantly towards yourself, your chances of skirting around the subject seemed slim. 

“I don’t have any commitments at home, not like I got the hospital waiting for me to come back. So... I’mma stay… ya know … live a little!”

“Gillian? She’s not waiting for you?”

“Nah, I quit.”

“You quit?! It took you fuckin’ ages to get that job.”

“Stevie, If I have to clean up puke in a fucking grocery store once more. I honestly don't think I can take it- don’t look at me like that. Three times is three times too many!” 

“You’re fuckin’ out of your mind. This isn’t a holiday.”

“No, but I need some change, you clearly need to get your ass kicked back in line. We both win! If you help me get a job it’ll be great… I can practically speak Spanish already....” 

“I dispute that.” Javier piped up.

“Shut up.” You say as you throw the tea towel at him. “Look Stevie. Everything’s fine. You were fine with Connie and Olivia being here. I’m a grown ass woman.” There was silence as Javier continued moving around the kitchen, only this lull was a little heavier, you chalk it up to you being the youngest and the only girl in a family with three brothers. God knows they’d been benching you your entire life. 

“Fine.” Steve huffed and sat down at the table as you and Javier served up. The man in question gave you a conspiratorial wink as you passed one another. Nothing more was said on the matter as you tucked into breakfast. Infact, pleasant conversation was kept up all through the meal until it came time for Javier and Steve to go.

“We gotta get into the embassy. Heard rumours the new boss starts soon and we need to get our ducks in a row.” Steve nodded to Javier's words. “You ready to get back in the ring?”

“Been ready for the past two weeks, man. This leave of absence was bullshit”

Steve grabs his coat as you watch expectantly, waiting for your invite to the boys club, that inevitably doesn’t come. Instead you receive a much more in character; “Stay in the apartment, for god sakes Y/N. Just for today. I’ve left my number on the pad if you need me.”

You nod noncommittally and combined with a shrug the action hits its mark as Steve sighs.

“This isn’t funny. Bogotá isn’t safe for you.” You repeat your action, this time without the shrug. He huffs but carries on out of the door, he must have realised that was as much as an acquiescence as he was going to recieve, Javier follows him but stops on the threshold. 

“Te encontraré ese libro, Guapa.” He calls out before closing the door behind him.

“no hablo español, motherfucker!” You shout after him, you vaguely hear his warm chortle as he descends down the stairs. With your legs propped up on the chair in front of you, you huff and look around the room.  The absolute assholes had left you with the washing up. Yeah, feminism was definitely taking a hit during your time in Colombia. 

Apparently the agents hadn’t got the memo about the change in gender roles, you cursed their names as you turned on the radio to some latin music and began the arduous process of cleaning the entire kitchen, including the appliances and counters you hadn’t even used. 

You then moved onto the lounge, hey, if you were going to play the role of housewife, you were going to at least be a good one. You hoovered, reorganised and dusted your ass off for at least three-ish hours before you got bored, abandoning your work for snooping, you were only human after all.  

First you looked in the medicine cabinet and found nothing good, I mean, you don’t know what crazy drugs you were expecting your brother, the DEA agent, to have in his possession but you were crestfallen with the dull discovery of a spare toothpaste, American xanax and ‘aspirina bebé’.

With a lamentful sigh you took your sleuthing into the bedroom, pulling his bedside drawer open with a hesitant hand. You don’t know what dark sexual preferences your brother and Connie may or may not have and you didn’t want to risk permanent scarring. As you open it fully you glance inside remaining tentative, your eyes first fall on the badge left behind. He must have forgotten it. You take it out and place it on the bed beside you as you continue to investigate.

Your hands find a wad of folded yellow notepad paper, the jagged edges have been ripped from the main pad in frustration. Unfolding the wad, you do a once over of the sheet in front of you. The words ‘Dear Connie,’ make you halt in your sted.  Finding a gimp mask or weed was funny, this however crossed a line. So you placed the notes back where you found them, you turned to grab the badge and place it back on top of the pile but as the light shone on the metal an idea sprung to mind.

To say you were famed for your impulse control issues was an understatement. You often acted first with no regard for the consequences, hence your presence in Colombia and your extensive shoe collection. But as you drove your brother's Jeep through the streets of Bogotá, you realised that you may finally push Steve over the edge. Already in too deep you took the final turn, following the map you had spread out on the passenger side and were greeted with the American flag. Eureka. You had taken an embarrassing amount of wrong turns but had finally arrived.

You pulled up to the barrier and smiled at the Colombian guard donned in a dark green uniform. 

“Hola, Agent Murphy DEA asked me to drop off his badge.” You wiggle the object of your deceit in his eye line. 

“Identification?” The guard asked in heavily accented English.  You shut off the car's engine as you turn to your purse and pull your driver's license out and hand it over. He inspects the plastic, looking between you and the ID before nodding and handing it back to you, definitely not a social butterfly.  He then waved to the gentleman controlling the barrier, allowing you access.  

“DEA office is to the right. Personnel only.”

“I’ll be in and out, quick as a flash.” You reassuringly smile at the man and receive only a stony glare in return. Deciding to stop pushing the apparently limitless bounds of your dumb luck you pull through the barrier and into the car park on the right. You park up in what you hope is an unreserved space and hop out of the tall vehicle.

“Right, what's the plan again?” you mumble to yourself as you pause for a second, before starting towards the cream building and hopping up the stairs. You cling to the badge like a life raft, terrified you’ll be stopped as the imposter sight-seerer you are. Now in your defence, you knew this was dumb. Steve had an important job and distracting him wasn’t helpful in the least, but you couldn’t help yourself. Stay inside- like that was ever going to happen.

So you scoured the offices of the embassy for about fifteen minutes before you decided to break and ask for help, finally stopping an american looking woman with large stylish shoulder pads and even bigger hair. 

“I’m looking for the DEA office? Steve Murphy, Javier Peña?”  She seemed to bristle at the mention of the latter.

“Take that elevator to the third floor and it's the third door on the left, but watch out for Peña, he’s a real- '' She cut herself off with a huff, before nodding your way and walking off.

No shit, sister. 

Following the potentially scorned woman's instructions you found yourself in the DEA Bogotá headquarters; only Steve and Javier were nowhere to be seen.  

Fuck.

You looked around the room taking a slight step back getting ready to turn on your heel as an older white haired man entered the room. 

“Hey Newbie, I need two copies of each of these and I need these faxed to the team in Medellín.”

“Uh-”

“I needed them there yesterday, so get to it.” He dumps the two huge piles of files into your arms as you stare at him bemused. Looking back you still don’t know why you didn’t say anything, but you rolled up your sleeves and whipped out that can-do attitude and got to work, at what was apparently your new guerilla admin job. And that is how Javier and Steve found you two hours later, fighting with a fax machine and on the phone to the office in Medellín.

“No- I understand how the machine works… Yes… Yes I’ve turned it off and on, I think the problems on your side… No I don’t- Well Weaver needed the case file there yesterday so you need to figure something out! Yes… Yes I’ll hold. “ You turned when you heard steps behind you, pressing the receiver between your head and your shoulder and holding the fax machine manual. 

“Hey Guys!” You say cheerily, pretending like this was completely normal, like you hadn’t just dropped into Steve’s life and then surprised him every step of the way. 

“What in the hell are you-” Steve started, however the woman on the other side of the phone decided to pick up, you held up one finger to the two of them as a pause. 

“Oh, Hey Salome, It’s no problem… that’s great, I'll give it a try.” You drop the manual and press the green button on the fax machine, the machine begins making the whizzing sound you’d been chasing for the past twenty minutes. “Sounds all good on my end. Right, that's great I’ll send the rest across now. Thanks, have a nice day!”

“Am I high, right now? What the fuck is going on?” Steve’s tone matched his face with the disbelief painted upon it.  He had taken a seat at the desk which just so happened to be next to the fax machine and copier. Javier sat at his own in front of the typewriter with a smirk on his face lighting up a cigarette.

“Uh, well... I came to give you your badge cause’ you forgot it at home and then Weaver asked me to do some copies. Turns out that security here is pretty lax, cause’ I’ve been copying and faxing classified case files for the past two hours and no one seems to know or care that I don’t work here.” Steve’s eye all but twitched as he rubbed at his face. He reached into his bottom drawer and pulled out a bottle of whiskey and began pouring himself a glass.

“Fine.” He actually shrugged after downing the drink in one. Damn, You weren’t sure which had broken him, yourself or Colombia. “Better you’re here where I can keep tabs on you...Javi, can we get her an actual job?”

“I’ll run it by Messina,” Javier shrugged as he stood from behind his desk. “Probably best not to mention the perusal of classified cases though.”

So that’s how the three of you ended up at dinner celebrating your new job four days later, you were officially an office administrator for the DEA in Colombia, heading to the CNP base of operations in Medellín alongside your brother and his partner as their administrator, well, from what you understood, you were their dogsbody.  Your Spanish speaking ability had been greatly exaggerated but you were undeniably overqualified for the position, so, pending a background check you were through doors. 

Your interview with Steve and Javi’s boss; Messina, had been nerve wracking and your Murphy name had won you no favours. 

You’d given it your best and from what you could see you’d managed to convince her you were worth your salt. 

Yep, you’d proved yourself totally capable and more importantly, completely willing to move around 8 hours away to Medellín to live on an army base where a drug cartel was incredibly active. According to Javi this had apparently made you a very appealing hire to the DEA.  As such you were being sent along with the boys to help out on the front line, well, as close to the front line as an admin/dogsbody gets.

The three of your glasses clinked in unison, before you drained your shot with a regretful gasp, Tequila was the devil. 

“Thank you to Javi, for not only saving my sister from her stupidity once, but twice… or is it three times now?!” Steve lifted his second shot as he gave his heartfelt speech. Picking up the lime you’d just sucked the juice out of you launched it at him, missing by some margin. He let out what could only be described as a snigger as both him and Javi threw their second shots back.

If you were completely honest with yourself, you were wasted. 

The three of you had enjoyed a meal and many, many subsequent drinks. Knowing full well the two men had a distinct advantage of having had at least a year to pickle their livers in whiskey from the stress of this place, you had insisted that for every two drinks they had, you had one. . 

Still, six drinks in with no sign of stopping you felt better than you really had any right to. The room had yet to start spinning and for those small mercies, you were thankful.

“Nah, Thankyou to you both! I’ve heard Medellín is lovely this time of year!”

“Well, you won’t know. You’ll be spending all of your time on base, where it’s safe.”

“Steve-”

“Non-negotiable. You wanna come to Medellín, fine. But you do what I say, and no Y/N’s day out like in Bogotá.” 

“Dude, you’re such a buzz-kill!”

“Dude? What are you 15?!” Javier jokes with a cigarette between his lips. You’d been here only a week and yet he’d managed to navigate how to defuse an impending Murphy fight from a mile away.

“You should’a seen her at 15. Those teeth!”

“Ya’ got any pictures?” Javi asks, half distracted with flagging down the waitress and showing her five fingers.

“Really Steve, you wanna go there? After the earring incident?” Javier turns his full attention on you. 

“Murphy had an earring?”

“No-” Steve tries to interrupt.

“Yep, a nice little hoop.”

“I didn’t…”

“It got caught on his windbreaker and he ripped it out of his ear, it got infected.”

“Wind breaker?” Javier was biting his lip and staring at your brother, not really trying so hard to contain his laughter.

“Can’t think why I didn’t want you around, Sis. Look- I was trying something out; It didn’t work, so I moved on.” You wait a beat, allowing Javier to take in the information before you helpfully and without prompt drop a nugget of information for the Hispanic man.

“... He had to go to hospital.” A chortle burst unintentionally from Javier’s chest as your comment caught him by surprise. 

“Y/N!” Steve burst out in frustration, making you cackle with glee.

“Okay, Okay.” You hold your hands in mock surrender as the waitress drops another round of drinks on the table.

“Let’s head over to the discotheque, live music- no Sicario’s. Big with Bogotá policia so very safe.” Javier pitched like he was speaking to a child as he tried to convince Steve. He knew you were in from the excitement that lit up your form.

“I don’t know, dancing-”

“Would be good for you! Come on Steve, this place is closing soon anyway-” You counter, only to be cut off as he frantically looks at his watch. 

“What time is it- I promised I’d phone Con tonight- FUCK!” He stood quickly grabbing the table to steady himself and ran to the phone box just outside of the bar, you could just about see him from where you sat in the window booth besides Javi.

The two of you looked at one another for a moment, you weren’t quite at the level where conversation came easy, but you weren’t uncomfortable by any means.

“Thanks for talking to Messina for me… honestly. You’ve done so much for me since I got here.”

“Like I said, it’s no problem, guapa.” He smiles at you, not a smirk for once but a delighted easy smile that rarely graces his face. “I saw your CV.”

“Oh.” The smile drops off of your face, his eyes analyse your reaction, the easy smile replaced by a sombre expression. 

“Yeah, Oh. You were a doctor, a surgeon? I thought you mopped up vomit in a grocery store in Miami?”

“It’s complicated.” You gave him no further explanation, you expected him to move on, except Javier wasn’t like other people, he didn’t make things easy. He stared at you expectantly with those deep brown questioning eyes.  “Christ, okay. Yes I was in my final year of residency, not quite a surgeon.”

“How does that happen?”

“How does what happen?” You question, you know you’re being difficult but this isn’t something you’ve talked about with Steve, for Godsakes. He did that trick once more, hitting you with those soul-full eyes. 

Honestly, it was lucky you weren’t working for Escobar, forget waterboarding, all Javi would have to do was look at you to get you to give up your darkest secrets. “Things didn’t go my way, I wasn’t happy there. The hours were long and that shit was heavy.” 

He didn’t seem satisfied with your answer but he didn’t push any further, finally respecting your reluctance, he nodded. Stubbing out his cigarette and tilting his head towards the shots he asked “...Another?” 

“Why not?” You reply hesitantly.

Taking the salt you go to shake it onto the back of your hand when a tanned one stops your movement in its wake.

“No, no, no. Let’s do it a little different.” His eyes shot up to where your brother was leaning against the phone booth before he took your hand in his. Adjusting his grip he lifts your wrist to his mouth. Your heart is beating in your ears as you watch as his pink tongue pokes out and laps one, twice at your pulse point. A long line of saliva is left on your wrist as he shakes the salt over it. His eyes meet yours for a moment, as if asking permission. 

You don’t know how you even instruct your brain to nod, but regardless you carry out the action. Javi brings his mouth to your wrist once more in one solid stroke of his talented tongue, your eyes clamp closed as he finishes swiping up the salt before draining both the tequila and lime.

You’re breathing heavy as you open your eyes, to find those mahogany ones laser focused on you.

“You missed a step.” You mumble, your eyes never leaving his as you hold the lime up to his mouth, rind first. His teeth close over it and his lips just barely graze your fingertips. You turn to check on Steve, thankfully your brother has his back to the two of you, deep in conversation with Connie. Probably for the best, given your plan.

You turn sideways to face Javi, lifting one of your legs up onto the booth and bending it at the knee to get a vantage point. The alcohol coursing in your veins gives you the courage as one  hand wraps around his neck and the other his shoulder, you lean forwards to give one long solitary lick up his neck, right on the pulse. You taste his sweat stained skin, salty and warm on your tongue. 

Reaching for the shaker, you apply it liberally, smiling as you drop some of it down his t-shirt. Though from the stare he seemingly refused to remove from you, you don’t think he much cared.  Once you considered your job done, you turned back and pushed his head to the side and began licking the salt from his neck, this time you tortured him with three small cat licks along the flesh, you felt his neck tense as his hand moved from its place on the pleather booth and wrapped around your thigh. 

You reached back to the table and sank your shot. Wincing you turned back to Javier, leaning forward to grab the lime from his mouth. As you did so, he dropped it purposefully, staring directly into your eyes, a clear challenge, before he grabbed the back of your head and pulled you forward locking your lips in a devastating kiss. He tasted of lime, tequila and just Javier; that unexplainable component which was both sweet and smoky. His tongue plundered the depths of your mouth, seemingly uncaring of your brother who was mere metres away. Your hands roved his chest before locking in the short hair on the nape of his neck. 

Unexpectedly it was Javi who broke the kiss. The two of you paused with your foreheads meeting, much like the night you met.  He seemed to be trying to regain control.

“Meet me in the bathroom?” You whisper, rubbing your nose against his beautifully angular hooked one. He breathed out heavily through his nose, his eyes opening and pushing you away by your shoulders.

“No, I’m not gonna fuck you in the fucking bathrooms of a filthy fucking bar- are you crazy?” Behind his eyes a rage and arousal battled, apparently you had rattled him with your question, he reached forward for his whiskey, and took a sip whilst shaking his head and trying to centre himself. “I’m giving you whiplash? Yeah that’s real cute. You change what you want every single fuckin’ day, then look at me like I’m a dick.”

You supposed he had a point, after all you had been the one to ask for the redo and then stared at him longingly every day since. “It’s not an easy situation to navigate, ok? I came here for Steve-”

“You didn’t come here for Steve.” He uttered under his breath, staring straight ahead with his elbow perched on the table and holding the glass to his mouth.

“Excuse me?”

“You didn’t come here for Steve, not completely. You came here for you.”

“That’s not-” Javier turns to you, locking you down with his gaze. It was easy to forget he was a cop; observative and attentive to a fault, he could call your bullshit from a mile away. 

“Everything you’ve done since you got here, that’s not for him. You’re desperate for some life back in those veins. You don’t just give up being a fuckin’ surgeon and feel fulfilled with your position at a fuckin’ grocery store, Sunshine.”

“Wow, you’ve got me pegged, huh? No wonder they’ve got you after Escobar, best detective on the fucking case.” You roll your eyes refusing to look at him, sipping a beer as a way of hiding how he’s unnerved you. Everything he’s saying true and you’re ashamed of yourself.

“You don’t come down to the embassy if you’re trying to make your brother's life easier. I’m not criticizing Guapa, but how about cutting the bullshit messiah complex.”

You’re embarrassed and trying to look anywhere but him. His hand reaches for your own as Steve rounds the corner, the tanned fingers instead lock around the shot glass in front of you. 

“So, what’d I miss?”  Your voice is lodged in your throat, you don’t think you could speak even if you could think of the words you wanted to use. Javi answers in some nondescript way you don’t even really listen to before ordering another round of drinks.

“Y/N/N, You alright?” Steve asked, ever the concerned brother.

(your nickname)

“Yeah, Javi- uh, he saw my cv.” It wasn’t a complete lie but you still feel bad for using past trauma to make your brother skirt around the issue in the way you knew he would.

“Oh, Uh… Drink?” Steve stared at you, uneasy. 

“Yeah, a drink would be great.” Your voice is monotone to even your ears, you reach forward and down the beer in front of you, desperate for this awkwardness to be over and the feeling in the pit of your stomach to vanish. You’re happy to say after around ten minutes of the two men holding up the conversation, it atleast eases slightly.

There’s a lull as you all wait drinks arrive and you have managed to regain your basic motor skills. This is the selfishness Javi is talking about. Steve needs a good night, without feeling crappy about his damaged sister stealing the lime-light. So putting your best foot forward you look across to Javi and smile.

“So, how was Connie?”

“She’s good! She’s enjoying getting back to work, her sister’s having Liv during the day.” Guilt swells in your stomach once again. You should be there making Connie’s life easier, but instead you abandoned her to play the hero in Colombia. The shame spiral is slowly clawing at your stomach, as you force yourself to take a deep breath. 

“That’s good…” You’re saved by the bell, or rather the waitress bringing over the tray of beverages. Taking your beer first, you reach across and controversially take two of the shots. Both men chuckle at your bravado as Javi asks the woman for an extra shot.

The night continued on much like that, minus the regret whirlwind as the tequila seemed to help get rid of any real self reflection. The three of you didn’t even make it to the discotheque, as by the time the bar closed, the three of you began the short walk home, you were carrying the large box of pizza that you had insisted on ordering.

Surprisingly, Steve was the drunkest of your trio. His phone call with Connie had sent him into his own spiral. He began drinking tequila like it was water, to the point Javier had thrown in the towel, deciding he’d much rather like to live to see tomorrow. So with your pizza in one arm and your other wrapped around your brother's waist, you and Javi half carried Steve home and up the stairs into the apartment. 

The two of you unceremoniously dumped him on his bed, carefully you placed the pizza box you had cradled to your breast on the chest of drawers before you stepped forward past Javier. 

You pulled Steves boots off of his feet and pulled his legs up onto his bed, taking his belongings out his pockets; yes, including his gun, you placed them on the bedside table. You then placed a glass of water and an aspirin next to them, feeling sympathy for his head tomorrow morning. 

Happy that your job was done, you shut the light off and went into the living room, once again cradling the pizza. Javier was slouched on the sofa/your bed flicking through your Spanish introduction book, as you entered the room he threw it back on the table and pointed at the empty whiskey bottle on the coffee table.

“Got any more?”

“Think, that was his last one…” you shrug.

“Come down to mine for a drink? I don’t like how we left things.”

“No more talking?” Javier looks at you reproachfully, scanning your body as if the direct proposition you’d accidentally given him was the last thing he expected. “Uh- I mean- no more hard questions and no more...touching.”

“Alright.” He nods, pushing himself up with a sigh. “But if there’s no more touching, I get half of that pizza Sunshine.”

You nod and smile, following him down the stairs to his apartment. As you cross the threshold emboldened by tequila, you don’t dwell on your self destructive tendencies as Javier’s recent comments would’ve made you if you were sober. 

You’re tired and all you want is a drink of whiskey, some pizza and for Javier to give you that smile, the one that makes the side of his mustache raises and reveals the pearly white of his teeth. Dropping the pizza down on the coffee table you make yourself at home, sitting very deliberately on the couch he hadn’t screwed someone else on. If he notices, Javi didn’t say anything. 

He hurried over, cigarette balanced in between his lips as both hands were taken up. One holding two glasses and the other cradling the whiskey. He sits himself down with considerably more grace than you had, on the other sofa. You reach down the side of the sofa where you spy the remote peeking out from beneath the leather cushion and begin skimming through the channels until you find the telenovelas you'd unironically begun watching since arriving in Colombia.

Opening the box of Pizza, you take a slice and begin devouring the meal. It’s not quite like pizza as you know it, but it's tasty and full of carbs to soak up the alcohol so you can’t find a fault with it.  The two of you eat in silence for around half an hour.

It seemed neither of you were eager to break the silence after the daunting conversation from earlier. It’s as you’re taking your first sip of whiskey watching two women argue in Spanish on the television you decide to speak.

“I figure I owe you some answers.”

“You don’t owe me shit, Sunshine.” He’s leaning back in his seat, whiskey balancing on his knee and a fresh smoke in his hand.  “Sure I’m intrigued, but I'll figure you out in the end. Miami’s own angel of death?”

You chuckle at how close to the mark he is as he makes a shot in the dark. “I’m gonna need a refill if we’re gonna talk about our feelings…”

“Feelings… woah, woah, woah. I didn’t sign up for that.” He has a brazen smirk on his face, as he takes the now empty glass from your palm and fills it up. You down a second and he repeats the task.

“I killed a kid,” You wheeze as you wince from the burn turning your head towards the television and nursing the now full whiskey glass between your hands. “You asked why I gave up becoming a surgeon. I... I was the lead resident on a fuckin’ appendectomy. I could do that shit in my sleep. I perfed the abdominal wall as I was geting ready to close him up; a tiny fucking knick. There were no bleeders and his vitals remained normal, didn’t even notice I’d done it.  It was as they were taking him back to the ward, he just crashed.”  

You finish another glass and as your eyes water, you pretend it's the burn of the alcohol. You breathe heavy, your upper lip quivering. You’ve heard of the sensation but never felt it. 

“I froze. I opened him up in the lift, by the time I got back in there, he’d bled out. A twelve year old; Justin Miller. Just a fucking kid.” Javi doesn’t try to interrupt or make you feel better, which honestly made the whole thing easier. 

“His mom sued the shit out of me and the hospital, can’t say I blame her. I took a sabbatical and when it was time to go back, I couldn’t. Couldn’t go into the OR without having a fuckin’ panic attack.” You hadn’t met Javi’s eyes for the entirety of the one-sided conversation, scared that when you looked up you’d no longer find those treacle eyes filled with warmth. 

Silence fills the air for a devastating second whilst Javier digests your words.

“You fucked up.” He mumbled finally,  your eyes shot up to his own and within the pools of chocolate you found his usual warmth, though his customary jovial expression was suddenly somber. Such an expression looked strange on the gentle man you’d come to know, but you knew it was far from out of place. “In our line of work, you mess up; someone dies. It’s not fair or easy, just is what it is.”

You don’t have a word for the noise you make, somewhere between a scoff and a gasp. You chuckle as his response to years of complex trauma you’ve never recovered from is boiled down to five simple words.

“It is what it is.” You repeat disbelieving.

“Can’t change the past. Useless to try.”

“Stuff it down with the brown?” You ask, lifting your empty glass in a cheers.

“Exactly, Guapa.” He unscrewed the whiskey bottle and began pouring you a generous portion. As he’s screwing the lid back on he sits back down, this time though he’s on the couch next to you. “Maybe someday I’ll get teary and we can talk about my fuck ups.”

Your only response is to punch at his hard thigh next to you as you take a long sip, thinking about the information you’d willingly just divulged to Javi.  “I’ve never talked about that before.”

“Not with Steve?”

“Not with anyone. I was ashamed for a long time, still am. But it’s different now; more manageable.”

“Ready to operate then, Doctor Murphy?”

“Asshole.” You say with a reluctant smile to the joke at your own expense.

“pendejo” he leaned back on the sofa as he translated. 

“pen-dejo?”

“Si muy bueno.”

“Another!” 

“Coger!”

“Co-g-er?”

“Si insistes…” He trails off with a smirk.

“You’re a dick.” 

“Yes, I am.”

After placing your drink on the coffee table, you lean over to Javi slowly, refusing to break eye contact, all the while and you lay your head on the plush leather of the sofa; nearer his shoulder than his own face. 

“Thankyou, Javi.” 

“I keep telling you, Sunshine. It’s nothing”

“It’s everything,” You close the distance and place a kiss on his lips. It’s neither heavy nor chaste, like when he initiated them. This is full of meaning, It speaks of letting go of the past and welcoming the future, it's deep and warm and delicious. Your tongue licks at his own as your hand rises to rest on his cheek holding him there, you explore the depths of his mouth instead of conquering them. He tastes of the whiskey and somehow residual tequila, you find yourself getting drunk off of the taste of him. 

Pulling away you rest your forehead against his own. “I’m so tired… and drunk.”

“Sleep with me.”

“Javier, you said- I mean, I don’t think-”

“No, sleep. Just sleep... with me. Gotta be better than the couch up there,”

“No funny business?”

“Scouts honor.”  After a moment of contemplation you decide that this was specifically breaking the rules of your selfishness, the tequila may have altered your perception of the rules somewhat but you had wanted this man for so long. After your emotional confession, falling asleep next to him seemed cathartic.

You take the remote once more and click the red power button, the screen goes black as Javier has already disappeared into his bedroom. You hear him rummaging around in his drawers as you cross the threshold. Once he’s seemingly found what he was looking for, he holds the article up to your inspecting eye. 

It’s a plain olive green v-neck tee, nothing particularly special about it, but it would do as pyjamas, so you accept it gratefully, much preferring a tshirt to the sundress you’d worn out to dinner. You push the straps off of your shoulders, letting them fall under your armpits as you clutch the dress to your front. You pull Javier's t-shirt over your head and are greeted by the fragrance you’d come to love. It smelt like washing powder, spice and cigarette smoke, you wouldn’t say smoke was on your top tier of smells list but it reminded you of Javi so you couldn’t bring yourself to turn your nose up at it. 

Once the shirt was covering all the important bits, you lowered your dress and stepped out of the offending cloth. 

“A little late for modesty, eh?” He smirks as he lights his cigarette, leaning against the pillows of the bed. He was referring to the morning after you’d arrived in Colombia, where you’d walked through this very apartment, bare as the day you were born. 

At some point Javi had rid himself of his dress shirt and dropped onto the bed still wearing his jeans. You shimmy your bra down the sleeve of the tee, to make a point. Winking at him as you finally pull it free. You fling it on top of where your dress lay abandoned. 

“You’re still a perv for that.” You smile fondly at the man as you clamber over to your side of the bed. He’d taken the left, closest to the door. He doesn’t reply as you make yourself cosy, under the thin blanket of the duvet.

You roll over to face him, he seems to be miles away. 

“Where’d you go?” You ask softly, though he startles still. 

“I’m right here,” He deflects, leaning over to the ash tray to stub the smoke out.

“Ok…” You roll your eyes as he turns off the lamp and lies flat on the bed next to you. The two of you are silent for a while. It’s not quite awkward but it's definitely not comfortable silence, the two of you know the implications of your decision tonight. Even if Javi is being a perfect gentleman. Your eyes have yet to acclimate to the dark as you stare out trying to search for his form. 

“Stop staring at me.”

“It’s dark, I’m not staring at anything.” You reply to his childish remark. You hear a chuckle catch in his throat. He seems then to have finally made his decision, he reaches forward and wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you to his chest. You go to stop him, but there's nothing to stop. He makes no further move as he holds you there. Your cheek rests on the overheated skin of his pectoral, it has just enough give to be comfier than any pillow you’ve ever encountered. 

“Maybe, I’ll tell you about my fuck ups one day.” He whispers into your hair, despite the way he says it being non-committal there's a promise behind the words. You don’t reply, already drifting off into the best sleep you’ve had since arriving in Colombia, or perhaps ever. 

A part of your brain registers Javi placing a kiss on the crown of your head as your eyes finally shut, though it is quickly replaced by the singular thought of ‘God, I hope I don’t drool all over him.

                                                       “You sober?” You look up at the clock on the bedside table that reads 5am. You’d been asleep for about four hours. You make a non committal noise in your throat. 

“Javi?” You mumble sleepily, the man behind you is peppering kisses on your neck.

“You want this?” Again you groan, this time however, you nod your head. His arm rises to wrap around your neck, arching your back to get you closer to him. “Do you want this?”

“God yes.” You gasp, pushing your hips back against his bulge. His hands release your stomach as he kisses down your neck once more. His hands are hard on your flesh as they map out your body in the dark.

His hands continue to roam your body as they slide under his shirt, they land on your breasts, he can’t help himself as he weighs them in his hand. He groans in your ear at the feel of them in his palm. You’d always had Javier down as an ass man, he’d nearly burnt a hole through your jeans the night you’d met. But apparently Javi was a man of many tastes as he worshiped your nipple with the pads of his fingers, rolling the sensitive bud through his thumb and forefinger. 

You groan at the sensation and push yourself back into him, desperate to feel every inch of his body against your own. You pull away suddenly and he makes a guttural sound in the back of his throat, though all of his questions are answered as you pull his shirt over your head and throw the offensive fabric across the room. As Quick as a flash he’s back on you, his mouth attached to your neck, giving you absolutely no quarter. 

He’s the one bucking into you this time and that seems to awaken part of your brain, your hands reach behind you they’re clumsy from sleep and the angle you have is awkward, you struggle with the button of his jeans for a second before his hand leaves one of your breasts to undo it for you. His hand returns as quickly as it left though it doesn't stay there for long as it slowly roves south, stroking the flesh of your stomach and making your entire being tighten up in anticipation as he feels you through your boy shorts. His touches are light at first, testing and exploring your body, before his fingers begin teasingly rubbing at your clit seeming to delight in the way, your wetness seeped through your underwear.

You force your brain back to the task at hand as your hand finds his abdomen and lowers through the hair lurking below his zipper, mimicking the actions he had performed on you moments before, however you have no intention of teasing. 

They find their mark, and you have to stop yourself from gasping. You’d felt him on the sofa that night but my god, your imagination hadn’t done him justice as your hand just about closed around him as you pumped him awkwardly behind you. He groaned in your ear and began whispering in a blend of Spanish and English.

His hands rise to dip under your panties, they brush across your mound before they find their home. His fingers barely touch you at first, seeming to be getting the lay of the land. After a moment of teasing, a single solitary finger swipes slowly along your slit, gathering the evidence of your arousal on his fingers. 

He groaned in your ear. “So fucking wet, that sweet little cunt is so ready for me…” Instantaneously you lose all motor skills as your body goes into shock, Javier’s dirty mouth would be the death of you.

Fucksake Y/N he wasn’t even inside of you, yet here you were writhing in his arms like a wanton whore from a single sentence. 

Your reaction seemed to spur him on as he let go of your body and rolled you onto your back. He swung around on his knees to fit between your legs. His hands rested on your hips, gripping onto the panties that lay there before he rolled them down your legs and threw them behind him. He leaned forward on his elbows, to stare at the most intimate part of you. 

Javi began kissing down your thighs, placing small bites along the sensitive skin along the way, getting closer and closer to the throbbing warmth of your pussy. 

“I meant what I said, cariño. I want to know how you taste.” Your mind is brought back to that church, the way he had you pushed against those bars, you didn’t think your body could constrict any further. You were desperate for any kind of contact. And you knew right there and then that you had been right; This man would destroy you. 

He struck then, much like a cobra towards his prey. His tongue flattened against your warmth, breaching your folds and catching on your clit.  The tip of his tongue was skilled as it danced along your bud, drawing cry after cry from you as your hands grabbed at his short ink black hair. 

He takes one final lap at your swollen clit before his tongue goes lower, he pushes through and sinks his tongue inside of you. His nose, that you’d appreciated for its character bumped perfectly against your clit making stars shoot behind your eyes.  You clenched around his tongue, desperate to be filled, he seemed to get the message as two fingers were quickly buried in your aching hole. 

“So fucking tight,  Guapa, I don’t know if I can fit three...te lo vas a tomar tan bien.” His tongue had risen back up to your clit, the combination of the vibration and filth of his words made a whimper drop from your lips, before he started rotating his tongue in circles around your swollen bud as his two fingers pumped in and out of your cunt at a thundering pace drawing you closer and closer to the edge as the minutes went by.

Finally, his fingers curled inside you as he sucked your clit into his mouth and all at once you were pushed off the cliff. You couldn’t tell what pushed you over that first peak so quickly, maybe it was the fact that it was Javier, the man who had been plaguing your dreams since you arrived in Colombia, currently between your legs devouring your cunt like a starving man, perhaps it was a culmination of five days of foreplay, but whatever the reason, when you fell, you fell fucking hard. 

You clenched around Javi’s fingers like a vice, so much so he hissed into your pussy and began thrusting his fingers faster. Spots clouded your vision as your whole body curved upwards and around the man giving you this pleasure as your legs clamped around his head and your fingers must have scratched his scalp as your hips thrust, riding his face to your peak. You were as taut as bowstring before the tension finally snapped and your body exploded in euphoria. You let out a cry as you crescendo on Javi's talented tongue.

He didn’t stop straight away, even after your body slumped back against the bed, he coaxed you through the aftermath of your orgasm, lapping at your entrance and drinking your come like it was the most delicious wine he’d ever sampled, groaning all the while.

Finally, he pushed himself forward, kissing at your thighs, your mound and finally your stomach as he came to rest over you, holding all his weight on his elbows. His face met your own as he kissed you deep, fucking your mouth with his tongue as he had done your pussy moments before. He leans back rubbing at your stomach, at your hips, at any flesh he can get his hands on. 

“Sabes mejor de lo que podría haber imaginado precioso.” He whispers against your breast as his mouth locks around your nipple. Javier Peña speaking Spanish did things to you, even if he hadn’t been stimulating your breasts you knew for a fact you’d be just as wet from hearing him speak in what you could only assume was a first language from the ease with which it left his mouth. You wished more than anything you could understand what was undoubtedly the filth coming from his mouth. 

You had recovered enough from his assault on your clit, to move your hands from your sides. They raised up and traced the tanned skin on his chest. He really was beautiful. He pulled back to stare at you, giving you a clearer view of his body.

He was muscled yet lithe and you took a self indulgent moment, committing the sight of him to memory, before your hands wrapped around his cock, which was standing to full attention through the undone zip of his jeans. He was what must have been unbearably hard, if you’d have had light to see, you had no doubt the head of his cock would be purple, straining with need. You pushed his jeans further down, recruiting your feet to push them down over his ass. Your hands roamed down to squeeze at the bountiful offering of meaty flesh. 

He chuckled as you pinched his cheek, before lifting his knees one at a time and kicking his jeans off of the bed and before you knew it he was lining himself up, brushing the head of his cock through your wet folds. Despite his groan at the contact, he had the discipline to check a final time. “This is what you want, Y/N?”

You didn’t bother to answer, you pushed his hand away from his cock, and pushed it towards your hole. You pushed your hips up against him in lieu of an answer, welcoming the head of his cock inside you. Even though all you could manage was shallow entry, the feel of him inside of you was glorious. 

 His hands, those talented, glorious hands found your own, wrapping his significantly larger ones around yours above your head. He pushed forward with one strong thrust of those lithe hips and he buried himself balls deep inside of you, rooted so deep you swear you could feel him in your cervix. He was everywhere, he was plundering every inch of you as his body surrounded your own, heat built between the two of you as sweat began coating both of your bodies. 

Every thrust brought you closer to your second peak, turning your head you couldn’t resist trying to get him to claim your mouth too. Though you couldn’t quite reach far enough to make contact, as if reading your mind Javier bent his elbow pushing his torso forward, coincidently pounding deeper into your body as your lips joined in a messy kiss.  He was fucking into you slow and deep, his tongue began following the rhythm of his cock as he claimed every single part of you as his own. 

The pace was brutally slow, just enough to get you to that edge and keep you on it, you could barely speak. You felt like you were drowning in Javier and every time you came up for air he bottomed out, meeting your hips with his own and the wave of pleasure cut off the oxygen all over again.

“Please… Javi…”

“W-what do you want Sunshine?” He panted out continuing with his slow tempo.

“Faster...please... God.” He ignored your cry for speed and continued fucking you into the matress at his own pace, though his thrusts were just as slow but they were harder. His hips hit against your own, as he put all of his power behind them, getting as deep as he could. If you didn’t know better you’d think he was trying to tunnel through to your womb. You clenched at the thought as he fucked you deep and hard. 

“... Javi…” You cried his name, a desperate plea as he kept you suspended over your peak, refusing to let you free fall. Finally he huffed, taking your legs and throwing them over his shoulders.

“You want me to fuck you properly, huh, Guapa?” He began thrusting into you at an arduous pace, the room was filled with your cries, his grunts and slapping of your connecting skin. Those telling black spots were clouding your vision, your second orgasm of the evening was fast approaching. Once again you clenched down on Javi’s thick cock. 

“I’m gonna’ come.” His hand lowered and began rubbing at your clit, not pausing for a moment as he fucked you thoroughly. 

“ven por mí...ven sobre mi polla… fuckin’ Sunshine, fucking taking my cock…. buena niña, podría follarte todo el día.” The second he lost his brain and began muttering in Spanish was the moment you were gone. You came for the second time as he was relentlessly hammering into you, drawing your orgasm from you. Your whole body braced against him, your eyes squeezed shut as you clamped down around his cock, milking him tightly.

“Fuck!” He growled at the tightness surrounding him. 

After a few moments he pulled out, quickly grabbing your and flipping you onto your stomach, after placing a pillow under your hips. He then buried himself back inside of you to the hilt his groans mixing with your own at the sensation. He kept up the pace he had before but this time the angle was deeper as he forced your legs together with his thighs. 

Javi’s hands grabbed at your ass (perhaps he was an ass man after all) slapping the meaty flesh which resided there and then instantly kneaded the tissue he’d just abused. His hands rose to carresse the skin of your hips before he took a punishing grip on them and began fucking you in earnest. Javier taking his pleasure from your body whilst you lay a drooling mess from the orgasm he’d already gave you was an image you didn’t know would turn you on, but it made you clench around his shaft as it plundered your depths. 

He began speaking again, though they were lost in a mix of Spanish and English, so much so you couldn’t differentiate. His pace was relentless and finally you felt him begin to shake as he gasped above you

“¿dónde?...w...where?”

“Come inside me, Javi.” He groaned at words and continued pounding until his hips stuttered and he brought it home and buried himself deep inside, filling you to the brim with his seed.  

The two of you lay there breathing heavy trying hard to get your breath back, half of his weight on top of you and the other half resting on the mattress.His cock was slowly going soft inside of you, yet you felt no urgency to move.

“So much for scouts honor, huh?” You ask from behind a veil of hair, turning your face which had been buried in the mattress moments before. Your voice is hoarse; completely wrecked much like the rest of you. 

He’s silent for a moment of consideration, before he leans forward in the moonlight and pushes your hair from your face. The action makes his cock shift inside of you and a little of his release spills out onto your thighs. He continues anyway and places a soft kiss on your lips before whispering “... I was never a boy scout, cariño.”

TAGLIST - Leave a message if you’d like to be added homies.

@drinkingwhileblogging @va-guardianhathaway  @jedi-jesi @obsessivelysearching @cannedsoupsucks @wantingtobekorra @littlemissoblivious @linnie0119 @pascalesque @pedrosmustache @sir-lili @obsessivelysearching @fairytale07

A/N: Fuck me that was the steamest shit I’ve ever written. This was especially for @drinkingwhileblogging and her turquoise titties, hope this makes up for me blue balling you all. 

[jaedore]

BINDING BONDS | 7 

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parings: jung jaehyun x reader

genre: ceo!au, arranged marriage!au, angst, consumption of alcohol, asshole/player Jaehyun, swearing, smut

[ ☾ smut (suggestive, slight somnophilia ) | ◇ angst | ☼ fluff ]

note: BB deals with themes of mental and physical abuse, which can be upsetting for some readers. If you feel uncomfortable reading these types of plots, you are advised to not continue

[ 6.6 k words ]

“I know, but I just wanted to tell you that I’m in love with you.” he thinned his lips, showing his deep sets of dimples. 

He’s in love with me, you gulped, your throat restricted any words from coming out, so you just gaped at him. You wanted to say something, but your heart knew it wasn’t the right time to do so.

Seeing your nervous state, Jaehyun interrupted your thoughts, “you don’t have to say anything,” he smiled gently, grazing his hand against yours in hopes that gesture was okay, “come on, let’s eat before the food gets cold.” he pulled out a chair for you and you slowly nod as you sit. 

Despite you not returning the words, Jaehyun was okay, he wasn’t pressuring you. He just wanted to express his feelings and it was okay if you weren’t there yet because he knew there were so many wrong things in the past he did to you. Every time he’d see just a glint of sadness in your eyes, he hoped that it wasn’t his doing. Every time he’d see a glint of frustration in your eyes, he hoped that it wasn’t because of him. He only wanted to give you love and laughter.

Jaehyun watched you quickly finish a pancake and timidly reach for another with a huge smile plastered on your face. Chuckling at your youthful behavior he asked, “is it good?” 

“Oh, yeah,” you gulped, “so good,” you sent him a thumbs up before continuing to dive into the pancake. 

“So, I was thinking…” Jaehyun hesitated. You looked up at him, your head still held itself down but your eyes averted to him. Hesitation held his eyes as you stared at him with curiosity wondering what was in that mind of his, “do you want to grab dinner tonight? Or is it too soon?” 

Swallowing a bite, “-not at all, we can grab dinner,” you smiled, then turned your attention back to eating.

The silent beat of the music drowned in silence of you two eating, nothing awkward, no tension but only the comfortable presence of each other. Once in awhile, you’d look up to see Jaehyun watching you and you could feel your cheeks heating up from the expression that was happily painted on his face. He thought you looked so beautiful in the morning, your thin t-shirt sliding down your shoulder displaying some skin where the sun hit, making it look illuminated. While you finally decided to put your disheveled hair up to avoid getting in your way and how the morning swole from your face hasn’t faded yet. You were so adorable, yet so alluring to him that he couldn’t even eat. 

“Why do you keep looking at me?” You scoffed, lowering your face to hide it from his stare, “do I have something on my face?” you ran your hand across your mouth. 

“No,” Jaehyun chuckled, his head bobbing from the vibration of his giggling, “you just look so cute in the morning.” 

“Stop,” a tint of whining coated your pleading, “I look a mess,” you turned to run up to the sink and set your plate down, then back to the table to clean up hastily. You wanted to avoid Jaehyun’s gaze even longer, afraid that he’d see how much of a mess you actually were in the morning. That, plus you were never good with compliments, so you didn’t want him to see your blushed out face.  

Frantically, you nimbly set the empty plates into the sink as gently as you could, careful not to break any, but when you turned around, Jaehyun’s body stood before you. You gasp from the close proximity, if he took one more step and lowered himself to your level, he’d be close enough to kiss you. The feeling of his lips still leaves a tingling feeling to yours, remembering his warm lips envelop yours, the way his tongue- Stop, y/n.

“W-what are you doing?” You whispered, eyes following his towering figure.

Jaehyun bent down, reaching your eyes, I’m just seeing how much I can make you blush. The innocence your eyes held was definitely a 180 from the other night at his house, but at this moment, those eyes he adored grasped tenderness. He couldn’t help but mentally gush at you, “nothing-” Jaehyun paused, “-angel.”

Your eyes widen in embarrassment from the nickname. He called you that the other night when you two were back at his place when things got steamy. Remembering it roll from his lips didn’t help you calm down, “Jaehyun, what do you think you’re doing now?” you did your best to put on an unbothered facade while raising a brow, “acting all cocky just because I slept with you last night,” you gently pushed him away.

As you walked away, a smirk painted your face as you could hear Jaehyun’s chuckle. You playfully rolled your eyes when the click of his tongue traveled to your ears, afraid you were giving him too much pride. 

Since it was the weekend, you didn’t have any plans. You wanted to use this weekend as an opportunity to spend it with Jaehyun, maybe you could get closer to him and get to know a little more about who he was under that cocky attitude and sometimes- but not usually now- cold front. 

You peered at your figure in the mirror, scrunching your nose at yourself. You didn’t look pleasing at all, messy hair, baggy clothes, opposite from how he’d usually see you. Maybe I should change into something...cuter? You thought to yourself, but you convinced yourself there was no point in impressing him. We’re engaged. This is what he gets. You smile as you shut the door to your room.

You walked downstairs, meeting Jaehyun who sat on the couch scrolling through his phone. Appearing in the corner of his eyes, he watched as you crouched down in front of the tv drawers looking for a movie and smiled when you fell to the ground, defeated that there weren’t any good ones.

“Do you want to have a movie marathon with me?” You asked, grabbing the remote. It’d be nice if he wanted to stay and watch with you, but he wasn’t obligated to. You just really wanted him to.

“Yeah! What did you have in mind?” Jaehyun asked, sneakily snatching the blanket that hung on off the middle of the couch for the both of you. 

“Hmm,” you mindlessly hum as you browse through the movies, “oh! Can we watch all of the Marvel movies in chronicle order?” you beamed. 

“Of course, I’ll go get the popcorn and snacks ready.” 

You lay the large blanket on top of you, noticing that there was only one. Uh...so we’re gonna share? Your mind wandered off to different ways this could end, but as Jaehyun came back with the bowl filled with buttered popcorn and a couple of drinks in his hand, the thought evaporated into there air. For he looked so lovely, so fully of content and affection, while those loving dimples of his appeared.

“You okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” 

“Heh, something like that,” you forced a short chuckle, your gaze shifting away from him. 

The first movie, Captain America: The First Avenger, played on the screen. It was easier for you to pay attention since Captain America was your favorite. Jaehyun on the other hand didn’t, he’s already seen the movie several times so he gave you his attention instead. Your eyes beamed whenever Captain Rogers showed up on the screen, making you look like a little girl who waited for her cotton candy being made.

You snapped your head to Jaehyun, he sat slightly surprised, “stop looking at me and watch the movie!” you laugh grabbing his chin and turning it towards the tv.

The movies went through like a breeze, you’ve watched all the movies before but never in chronological order, everything made sense now. Until Thor was turned on. You could feel you beginning to feel sleepy, your brain tired from trying to put all the puzzle pieces together, and your eyelids began to feel heavy. 

From his peripheral vision, Jaehyun could see your head bobbing time to time as you fell asleep but rapidly shaking it to stay awake. You failed each time. Not being able to help it but laugh, Jaehyun wrapped his hand around your left cheek while the other grabbed your shoulder to assist you. Without disturbing your sleep, he managed to set your head onto his lap. 

Jaehyun enjoyed the movie but he liked the view below him more, you were laying on his lap and had peacefully fallen asleep. You two were supposed to go to dinner, but he canceled the reservation, for this was much better. He combed his fingers through your hair, the strands filling the space between his fingers. He always admired the way you looked when you slept, he thought that you looked like a literal angel. Your lashes spreading among the hill of your cheeks, your lips trembling every once in a while, and the cute end of your nose all integrating themselves making you look like the most perfect, precious person he’s ever laid eyes on. He couldn’t resist laying a gentle kiss on your temple, seeing you slightly move.

By the end of the movie, the loud music at the end credits scared you awake. You open your eyes to see the tv screen playing sideways, huh? You blinked, trying to rub your blurred vision away as you groggily sat up, the blankets falling to your sides. Turns out, you fell asleep on Jaehyun’s lap while he eventually did too, his head resting back onto the edge of the couch. 

“Jaehyun,” you gently shook him, “Jaehyun”, you did it again but he didn’t budge, so you caressed his cheek with your warm hand, “Jae.”

Jaehyun finally hummed awake, a smile glazing over his pink lips as he leaned into your touch. 

“We missed dinner.” 

“That’s okay, I canceled our reservations,” Jaehyun sat up straight to stretch, “this was much better.” a yawn escaped from his throat, “let’s go to bed?” 

You nodded, turning off the tv. Jaehyun sat before you with open arms and you wrapped yourself around him like you were a koala and he was your tree, giving you the comfort your body desired. You could feel your heart almost leaping, especially when you felt his beating against your chest. 

Jaehyun gently sets you onto his bed, changing into his pajamas before climbing beside you. With closed eyes, your arms wrapped around him like you already knew his body. His arms shielded your body from the cold air and you both fell asleep quietly until he heard the gurgling in your stomach. 

Jaehyun chuckled, the noise interrupting the solace of the night, “you hungry?” his sleepy voice asked. 

“No,” you pulled yourself closer to his chest, “just wanna be with you,” you mumbled, sleepiness in your voice. 

Jaehyun kissed the top of your head before finally dozing off, soft breaths filling the air in his room, and the scent of you fragmenting the air.

“Good morning,” you smiled up to already see Jaehyun gazing down at you. 

“Hi,” he smiled back, eyes shaped like the crescent moon. 

“How long have you been awake?” You yawned. 

“Long enough to watch you snore.”

“I don’t snore,” you gently hit his arm, peeling yourself from his grasps. 

“Hey-” Jaehyun dragged, pulling back into his chest, “let’s just stay like this for a bit.” 

“Fine, five minutes only because I’m hungry.” your morning voice was muffled against the cotton t-shirt that laid on his chest.

“Hm?” Jaehyun pulled back to peer at you, “but last night you said that you weren’t hungry. And that you wanted to only be with me,” Jaehyun wriggled his brows, being too suggestive. 

“Okay-” you push onto his sturdy chest to lift yourself, “your five minutes is up.” 

“No, no, no. I was just teasing, come here,” he opened his arms to you, begging for you to come back onto his warm body. 

You found it hard to resist him, so you complied and fell back into his chest, his arms finding their place around your body. You inhaled the shirt that met your nose, the clean wood smell you’ve grown to love. You’ve grown to find the little part of your heart realizing there were a lot of things you loved. Time by time, you knew Jaehyun was genuinely trying, that he has honest feelings for you and you didn’t need his words to show that. You could just tell from his actions, the warmth in his touch, the adoration in his eyes whenever he looked at you, and his yearning for you. Maybe this time you could finally let him in, let him into the heart you’ve done an awfully good job at caging and protecting. 

Jaehyun gently pressed his lips on the top of your head, “what are you thinking about?” 

“I-that we missed dinner last night,” you quickly rambled, the thought rolling from your tongue. You didn’t want to say it to him yet, you wanted to wait until you were ready. 

“Oh, well if you want, we could go but I thought that we could make dinner together?” His voice rose in an octave, questioning if this was okay. To be honest, he didn’t know if any of this was okay. He definitely didn’t want to make you uncomfortable or feel pressured, so he doubted a lot of his actions, afraid that you’d reject him because of how he treated you in the beginning of all of this.

You hummed, completely satisfied with the idea of being home with Jaehyun and cooking dinner with him. You tightened your hold against him, bringing yourself close to him as possible, “I’d love that.” A smile appeared on Jaehyun’s lips, happy with your answer. He could just imagine how much fun he’d have with you tonight. 

You two stayed in bed until the sun was steadily shining in the sky, basking in each other’s heat, bodies, presence. The time brought serenity to your heart and you could feel a smile spreading on your lips. When the clock read noon, Jaehyun figured that it’d be best for you two to finally get up and go to the grocery store. 

“Are you sure it’s a good idea?” You called from his bed. 

“Yeah, I don’t think there’d be a lot of people,” he answered from his bathroom. 

“Let’s hope so.” 

You should’ve stayed home, the anxiety of getting caught by the media planted itself in your bones. You couldn’t help but be paranoid and look left to right multiple times, while Jaehyun held your hand as he grabbed a basket. 

“We’ll be fine,” he pressed a kiss to your temple, his free hand grabbing you by your waist to bring you closer to him.

“I know, I know,” you sighed, fumbling with the collar of your jacket.

While your nerves drove you to hastily grab what was needed for dinner, Jaehyun was particularly excited to cook with you. He couldn’t wait to spend quality time with you and only you, but he found it funny seeing you rush back and forth across the store. It made you look like a cartoon character as you sped here and there and dropped things in the cart as you passed him.

“Jaehyun, come help me. I can’t reach this,” you struggled to reach for the can of tomato sauce that sat on the top shelf. You both were going to make pasta tonight from scratch, including the noodles, so because you two sucked at grocery shopping, your kitchen pantry was currently bare and it forced you both to go shopping. 

Jaehyun set an item in the cart before walking over to you, deeply sighing, “Only if you stop being so nervous.” 

“I just don’t want to get caught,” you mumbled with your eyes on the ground.

Jaehyun stretched to the top shelf of sauces then lowered down, lifting your chin with his fingers and coming as close as possible, “and would it be so bad if we did get caught?” a grin plastered on his face. 

“Tch,” you scoffed, pushing him away and walking towards the neglected cart. 

That evening the kitchen was suffused with laughter, the soft music filling in the background, and the sizzling of the sauce that sat heated on the stove. You were rolling the dough for the noodles with Jaehyun by your side, while he was in charge of the sauce. With his hands crossed and his back leaning against the counter, he couldn’t help but watch you kneed it. Streaks of flour skimmed your face, Jaehyun found it amusing because you looked like you were struggling from all of your grunts and huffs. 

“I can do that,” Jaehyun offered. 

“No, I’ll do it! Just take care of the sauce.” 

“Okay-” Jaehyun dipped a finger in a pile of flour, “-angel,” then quickly brushed it along your cheek. 

“Jaehyun!” You whined, not being able to do anything since your hands were  stuck in the dough. Even though you always reacted like you didn’t like being called that, you were lying. You love it so much, it’s like music through your ears. You love the nicknames that he gives you, it makes you feel all warm and your stomach jittery.

Hearing your strained breaths again, Jaehyun just chuckled on his way to stir the sauce. He shook his head, wondering if you were going to do anything back to get at him. As soon as he thought about it, you came to him, wrapping your arms around his waist. You sneakily swipe the flour on his cheek with one finger, getting back at him. Jaehyun shook his head, laughing because he thought too soon. 

Jaehyun grabbed your wrist and spun you towards him, now his arms wrapping around your waist while yours found resort on his shoulders. He could see the slyness in your eyes when he looked into those eyes he adored, “don’t you dare.” A devious smile curved his lips, mischief gleaming in his eyes.

“Oh, in that case,” you used your other hand to swipe another on the same cheek, augmenting a pair of dimples. With the same finger, you pressed into the dimple. He looks so cute when he smiles. The familiar look of his whiskers appearing, harmonizing with his deep laughter. You couldn’t help but blush because of how handsome he looked.

You suddenly noticed Jaehyun closing the space between you two. You didn’t dare to move and even if you could, you didn’t want to. You wanted to kiss him, feel him, hold him. He began to get so close that you could feel the heat radiating from his towering body. 

Slowly, Jaehyun closed the distance, his lips grazing yours in hesitation for what seemed forever. You admit, you were an impatient person, especially when it came to Jaehyun, which resulted in you tugging on his shirt, bringing him closer to your body, and crashing your lips against his. The kiss was fast, but full of starvation and wandering hands. You let out a quiet gasp when Jaehyun lifted you onto the counter, gripping your waist to hold you down. Letting your heart take control, you wrapped your legs around his waist, which he reacted by caressing your thighs, running those hands of his up and down, creating friction in your legs. 

“Eager?” Jaehyun pulled away but was still close enough to touch the edges of your lips, sending shivers down your spine. 

“Just shut up and kiss me,” you murmured, pulling him by the nape. 

The kiss grew hungrier, clashing of tongue and teeth and the sound of both of your pants grew above the music. Jaehyun’s hands managed to sneak up into your shirt, grasping your waist, feeling your hot skin against his palms. His fingertips grew desperate by how he tightened them against you. Jaehyun wanted more, he wanted you all to himself, but before he could ask you, there was a knock on the door. 

You pulled away from him, not expecting anyone at this time, “who’s here?” 

“I’m not sure,” Jaehyun removed his warm hands from your boiling body, disappointed to end things like this. 

Walking to the door, he looked through the peephole to see someone he didn’t expect. Jaehyun looked back at you, seeing you with furrowed brows as you walked your way to him. 

“It’s Chaeyoung,” he whispered. 

Your mouth shaped into an ‘o’, definitely surprised that she’d show up, but what was surprising? Her presence or the fact that she’s already been here several times?

“Open the door,” you whispered back, your hand offering him the door. You clearly had no idea what to do. It’d be rude of the both of you to leave her, but at the same time, that’s exactly what you wanted to do. You knew it was wrong, but you wanted to be a good person. That’s why you told him to open it.

Jaehyun did as you said, he slowly opened it to see Chaeyoung standing at the door with her head hung low and a large box in her arms. 

“Chaeyoung,” 

“Jaehy-oh, good afternoon, Ms y/l/n,” she slightly nodded to you, seeing you standing behind Jaehyun’s figure with your hands wrapped around his arm. Almost as if you were keeping him from her. 

“Hi,” you timidly answered back, you severely wished to vanish into thin air. The thin air that held intensity, sadness, and all at the same time, anger. “Please, come in.” you pulled Jaehyun back, making him pull the door more open. 

“Am I interrupting something?” Chaeyoung asked, glancing at the roll of dough on the counter and hearing the sizzling of the sauce, which you quickly ran to lower the temperature to keep it from burning. 

“No, not at all, we were just making dinner,” you replied, coming back to Jaehyun’s side who managed to stay silent the entire time. You gently squeeze his arm, hoping that he’d say something. 

“W-what are you doing here?” his voice strained.

She’s obviously here to drop off your things, dummy. You narrowed your eyes at how oblivious he could be when Chaeyoung was clearly standing at your door with a box filled with men’s clothes and pictures.

“I’m here to drop off your stuff,” Chaeyoung answered, quickly glancing down at the box of Jaehyun’s belongings. 

You looked up at him again, but with questioning eyes, he kept his gaze on his former lover as his voice was muted from anything else. “Here, I can take that,” you took the box from her and left the two. The large weight of the box heavied your heart, the box held his belongings and most likely so many memories of their past. You couldn’t help but feel a bit insecure that your relationship with him wasn’t formed from mutual feelings, but more of a mutual agreement. 

As you set them down on the carpet in his room, you spotted a picture of them together buried under all of his sweaters. You know you shouldn’t go through his things, his dearest memories with Chaeyoung, but your emotions took over your actions and you picked up the picture. It was a picture someone else had clearly taken. The two of them stood in front of a beautiful scenery of large mountains and the greenest grass on hills as he pressed a kiss to her cheek. You saw more photos in the box, you hated yourself because you couldn’t help it. It was clear to you that he was the happiest when he was with her. And you took that away from both of them. 

As you walked back, Jaehyun still stood in the same position like his feet were strongly rooted in the ground, while Chaeyoung struggled to make eye contact with him. You sensed the tension between them and offered her to stay for dinner. Jaehyun furrowed his brows at you, questioning why you would ask her such a thing especially when you knew about them. But as much as you felt insecure about yourself, you felt bad for Chaeyoung, for you took her lover, you took him away from her and the least you could do was to offer her dinner. 

“I shouldn’t,” she glanced between you and Jaehyun frantically. 

Jaehyun huffed, walking away from the conversation. He really couldn’t believe that you’d just offer her to stay and have dinner. It’s already been enough for what he’s put both you and Chaeyoung through, was this his suffering? He snapped the temperature back on medium-high and began vigorously stirring the sauce. 

Your eyes followed Jaehyun’s strides that stenched like anger back to the kitchen, but snapped back to reassure Chaeyoung, “it’s no bother, really! Stay, we’re almost done making dinner.” You smiled, walking over to the dough to continue kneading it.

“Okay,” she faintly smiled. 

“You can help us set the table if you want,” you noticed her uncomfortable stance. 

Chaeyoung nodded before walking to your cupboards, taking out the dishes. You found it uneasy seeing how she knew her way around your shared apartment with Jaehyun, but discounted the feeling as you knew this was your own doing. As she set the table, you could see Jaehyun glancing at her in your peripheral vision, but you also saw him struggling to keep him from doing so.

With hesitant steps you walked to stand beside him, grabbing his arm, “you okay?” 

Jaehyun sighed, “I just wanted it to be the two of us.” Jaehyun turned to you with disappointment in his eyes.

You blinked in realization how important this must’ve meant to him. All he wanted to do was to spend the time with you, only you. He wanted to make you comfortable, wanted you to feel like you were at home with him, that he was your home and that you were his now. 

“I’m sorry,” you leaned your head against his arm, hoping it would ease him a bit. You didn’t know if it was you who needed the ease more than him.

Jaehyun hummed, clearly clouded in his thoughts. With his former lover in the same room as the person he now loves, how was he supposed to act? 

The three of you ate food silently, not a word popped out of anyone’s mouth. Chaeyoung kept her gaze down at her plate, while Jaehyun did the same, poking at his food. The only thing that kept the silence from eating you up was the music playing in the background. 

“So,” you dabbed the napkin on your lips, “how’s the prototyping going?” 

“Oh, they’re going smoothly,” Chaeyoung answered, “we’re almost done. We have a couple more outfits to do before completing it.” 

“Perfect,” you smiled, your brain running out of ideas on what to talk about other than work. “You graduated at New York School of Design, right? How was that?” 

“It was really good! The experience was everything I hoped for. They taught me so much information that I thought I wouldn’t need to know. Landing the job at Audace was my dream,” she gleamed at you, uplifting the mood. You found yourself unexpectedly smiling, she looked at you as if you were her role model. 

All of a sudden, Jaehyun abruptly backed up from his chair, creating a loud scraping sound against the hardwood floor. You shifted your stare at him as he walked to the sink, setting his things down and silently walking up to his room to only slam his door without saying a word. 

“I’m sorry,” you sighed. 

“No, it’s okay. I shouldn’t have stayed, but thank you for dinner. It was really good,” Chaeyoung stood from her seat, “let me help you clean up.” 

“Oh, it’s fine! It’s not a lot, I’ll handle it. It’s getting late, so just get back home safely,” you reassured her. 

You lock the door behind you after greeting Chaeyoung goodbye. You glanced at Jaehyun’s door remembering how angry he was. You didn’t know if you should go talk to him or let him be. You figured he needed space. Shifting towards the kitchen, you cleaned everything up, setting the leftovers in containers, and washing the dishes. 

“I’m sorry,” a low voice whispered behind you. 

“Jaehyun,” you jumped, dropping a plate in the sink, “you scared me. What are you doing?” You looked back at him. He was already in his pajamas and his hair was wet from his shower. The smell of his body wash made its way to your nose, giving you that cozy feeling in your heart.

“I just wanted to come to you, but I’m sorry for scaring you too,” giving you a small smile, he walked towards you, “I just didn’t know how to act with her around and then with you,” Jaehyun wrapped his arms around you as you continued washing the dishes, his chin finding a place on your shoulder. 

You quickly finish the last dish and turn around, still enveloped in his arms, “No, I should be sorry. I shouldn’t have offered her to stay. I don’t know, I just felt bad all of sudden when I saw your things in the box. I know it was wrong to look through them but I just felt sad for-” you paused, taking a breath in, “taking you away from her.” 

“Hey,” Jaehyun cupped your face in his hands, “I’m the one who broke things with her. We’re nothing now. I was just uncomfortable, that’s all.” 

“I’m sorry, Jae,” you whispered, looking down, face still in his palms. 

Jaehyun chuckled at your cheeks being squished in his grasp, not being able to hold in any frustration because you were so lovable, “it’s okay,” he hummed, “how about you shower and then come to bed?” 

“Okay,” you brought yourself to his chest, hugging him before departing from his arms. 

As the hot water trailed through the valleys and hills of your body, you couldn’t help but regret your decisions. You only wanted to make things right between everyone, but it seems like every decision you made was wrong. When are you going to stop messing things up, y/n?

You walk into Jaehyun’s room, already seeing that he was sleeping soundly. You crawled to him until you were slightly hovering him. He looked so harmonizing when he slept. With Jaehyun’s damp hair splayed on the pillow, his eyelashes kissed the rise of his cheeks, while his lips unconsciously pursed. You let out a content sigh as you press your lips against his forehead, earning an incoherent mumble from him as his tired body reaches for yours, bringing you close to his. You could feel the tiredness of his kiss that he set on the top of your head as you wrapped your arms around his waist to only be lulled to sleep by his soft breathing.

“Y/n, wake up,” Jaehyun gently shook you. He began poking your cheeks after a couple of failed attempts at waking you. 

With tired eyes, you opened to the blurry sight of Jaehyun in front of you, a smile painted on his face like he had been watching you ever since he woke up. 

“Good morning.” you yawned. 

“Did you get a good sleep?” Jaehyun asked, running his fingers through your hair. 

“Yeah,” you rubbed your eyes, hoping it’d clear your vision. 

“Good. It’s time to get up and ready for work,” Jaehyun smiled down at you, finding your morning face still amusing. 

You hummed, enclosing your arms around him to bring him to your chest, “ten more minutes please?” 

“Okay, okay. Ten more and then we have to get up,” Jaehyun giggled, relaxing to your touch. 

Those ten minutes felt like the shortest time. In that short moment, you felt the warmth radiating from his body, the feeling of his heartbeat quickening then faltering back to normal, and his breath tickling your neck. Jaehyun was so engulfed in you and with your arms around him, he found it hard to just want to stay in bed and kiss you endlessly, making love to you. 

“I love you,” Jaehyun mumbled, when he looked up after not getting a response back, he saw you had fallen back asleep peacefully. Without implying anything sexual, he kissed the center of your chest, trailing little pecks up to your collarbone, eliciting a soft sigh from you. He made his way to your neck, making sure to kiss your sweet spot. By this time, you had already been awake from the constant longing feeling in your stomach. You let out a louder sigh, your hands finding their place in his hair. Jaehyun came close to your lips, his almost touching yours close enough that you could feel the heat of his breath. He pecked your lips twice before stopping, “baby, our 10 minutes is up.” 

Once again, you blush from the nickname, but a smile grows on your face. You pull him in, locking your hands on his neck and softly bring your lips to his again. 

“You’re such a tease,” you chuckled between kisses, your fingers combing through his hair.

“I can’t help it when you look like this in the morning.” 

And that’s how you two spent the next ten minutes, just in bed with Jaehyun on top of you and passionately making out with each other. His lips were a constant crave for you, you realized. Jaehyun’s hands found their place on your waist, under your shirt as he firmly gripped the smooth skin. You let out a tired groan when he gently nipped at your bottom lip, earning a low chuckle from him. 

“You’re so beautiful,” his lips trailed down to your jaw then neck. You gently pull onto the hair that laid on his nape when he put a little more pressure on your sweet spot again, making you let out a tense breath. Under the covers, Jaehyun grasped your thigh, wrapping it around his hips and unwillingly, you rolled your hips against him, lusting for more. More of him. But he slowly pulled away, looking at you with low, hungry eyes, abling for the both of you to see the string of spit that connected your lips. 

Jaehyun pecked your lips before pulling away again, “It’s 7:20, we both have to be at work at 8.” he spoke, pulling away to stroke your hair. 

You sighed in defeat, you knew you both should really get ready for work. You looked at him, you looked into those big eyes of him and knew that they held so much love for you. You pecked his lips one last time before leaving traces of you in his room. 

“I can drop you off at work, if you want!” Jaehyun called from his room. 

“No that’s okay, I’ll most likely not be home until later tonight anyways,” you replied, buttoning your blouse. 

“Aww really?” Jaehyun walked to your door, leaning on the frame with a playful grin on his face. 

“Jaehyun!” your eyes widen. You turn away from him to finish buttoning before he could see your breasts.

“What? It’s not like I haven’t seen anything before,” he smirked, walking closer to you. 

“Nuh uh, not today, I gotta get to work in 15 minutes,” your pointer finger landed on his chest, stopping him from coming closer. 

Jaehyun firmly grabbed your waist, “I wasn’t the one that left the door open,” his eyes scanned your figure. 

“Oh stop it,” you smacked his chest, turning to slip on your blazer. 

Jaehyun bit his lips to refrain him from going further into his actions. He thought you looked incredibly sexy in your work outfit, all he wanted to do was to rip your blouse and hear the buttons hit the ground all at once. You snapped your head back at him, knowing he was daydreaming and waved at him to get out of your room so you could shut the door. 

In the parking garage, Jaehyun kissed your temple before walking off to his car, “goodbye, I’ll see you tonight.” 

“Bye,” you strum at his little act of affection as he opens your car door for you. 

You walked into an empty office since your mother was gone for a meeting. You sat your purse down and began working on your computer, replying to emails. There were several editorials that were looking forward to your Spring-Summer 2020 collection that either wanted to feature you and your clothes in their magazines or wanted to buy your collection to present them on models for their cover. Either way, it was your product and that was enough to satisfy you, as long as people knew it was Audaces’ fashion line.

After replying to your emails, you opened the files to the prototypes that showed the outfits. Going over them several times became a regular routine, it’s part of the job and you didn’t complain because you love what you do. 

By the time lunch time rolled around, your mother finally made it back. She strolled in with a proud smile on her face as she strutted herself to her desk. 

“Everything went well?” 

“Oh, certainly. Everyone’s on board with our collection. It’s ready to be advertised for its launch in the Spring,” your mother answered. 

“That’s great.” 

“It’s almost lunch time, are you going to eat?” 

“Yeah,” you looked at your phone screen, “I think I’m going to go pick something up for Jaehyun and I.” 

“Oh, that’s great! Is everything going well with you two?” her eyes widened in amusement. 

“You could say that,” you chuckled, grabbing your purse, “I’ll be back after. Did you want me to pick something up for you?”

“No, it’s okay, I just had a bagel after the meeting.” 

With your sandwiches in one hand and drinks in the other, you excitedly walked up to Jaehyun’s office on the top floor. As everyone had questioning expressions as to why you were in Jung Corporation, they still showed respect for you by bowing, but they found it odd because they’ve never seen such emotion on you. You always did your job in showing seriousness and professionalism whenever you went to other business’ headquarters that seeing a smile on you wasn’t the usual. 

You could barely hold your nerves down in the elevator, you just wanted to see Jaehyun. You wanted to kiss him like this morning, you wanted to hold him close to your heart, hoping that he’d know how much you have to offer for him. You wanted to give him so much love...and that’s when you realized you were truly, in love with Jaehyun. Your heart was at peace whenever you were with him, you wanted him. You want him in your life, you want to spend time with him. Him, him, him, was all you could think about, Jaehyun and only Jaehyun. 

With the realization circling your mind, you sped walked to Jaehyun’s office, not being able to be away from him any longer. You felt like your chest was about to burst from the overwhelming feelings in your heart. You wanted to tell you love him, heck, you wanted to tell the whole building and the entire world. 

With hands full, you push the door open with your back only to turn around with the sight in front of you. What you had seen in Jaehyun’s office shocked you that you dropped everything in your grasps at the same time feeling your heart shatter with it. The sound of everything dropping at your feet nudged you to move and with wide eyes and stuttering breaths, you did what you always did best and bolted. You ran as fast as you could away from Jaehyun, away from the building, away from being hurt. The heartbreak came sooner than you thought. 

The moment you dropped what you held in your hands, Jaehyun’s head snapped towards you, not expecting to see you. When he saw the hurt on your face, he ran after you, but you were faster than he thought. It was like you were running on your fumes and only on your fumes. 

By the time Jaehyun stepped out of his building, his head looked frantically for you, head whipping left and right. Sighing in defeat, he knew there was no way he’d find you, you vanished in the sea of people. With his hands in his hair, slightly pulling his strands in frustration, he had lost hope in finding you. 

[ficletsbynaria]

(Characters of your choice) if possible, could you do some of the boys with a s/o with a huge dog? And the boy's reaction to the big ol' floofer? I have a Great Pyrenees and he is literally the sweetest dog ever, and when he's on his hind legs, he's as tall as me. It'd be fun to see how some of the lads would react!

okay I searched up great pyrenees and !!! 

THEY’RE THE ABSOLUTE CUTEST I WANT 50. as a fellow dog lover (and owner of a floof chowchow), I enjoyed making these hcs that I ended up making it longer than I planned it to be oops 😳😳😳🤪

I went and chose my bnha bois: kiri, baku, mido, and mirio for the headcanon :>> since they scream dog lovers pls excuse my dumb nicknames for the boys lmao

𝖜𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖈𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖙: 1,789 words

𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖘: Kirishima Eijirou, Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku, Togata Mirio

𝖙𝖆𝖌𝖘: none

𝙺𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚖𝚊

★ when you told him about having a pet dog, he was ELATED

★ like he was more excited about it than you ever saw him

★ maybe u were jealous about it even

★ and when you described your doggo as one belonging to a huge breed

★ he was so enthusiastic about it

★ asking how big they were, how playful they acted

★ bb boi just was so excited about dogs

★ finally you two got home and Kiri almost passes out

★ YOUR DOG WAS A BIG BALL OF FLOOF

★ your baby was a samoyed and she was the prettiest ever

★ kiri most likely fell in love again

★ your dog absolutely loved Kiri

★ it was love at first sight basically

★ he was so mesmerized by your dog’s fur

★ described it as a cloud that he can hug

★ calls your doggo ‘cloudy’ as a nickname

★ it’s even funnier and cute bc cloudy looks so soft while Kiri’s quirk is hardening

★ opposites truly attract

★ cloudy and kiri just enjoyed each other’s presence so much

★ cloudy thrived in Kiri’s love and attention

★ and your boyfriend had enough to give her just that

★ your big doggo and your big strong bf

★ it looked like the perfect family portrait

★ I think you almost cried while staring lovingly at them

★ and while u had your tears of joy

★ both cloudy and Kiri noticed your mood shift

★ and they just shower you with kisses !! (dog kisses included)

★ kiri DEMANDED you three take a picture together

★ and he talked about bragging on how he had the best s/o AND THE GOODEST GIRL in the whole wide world (kiri’s words not mine)

★ those muscles aren’t just for hero work wink wonk

★ they’re for giving hugs and holding your huge doggo up in his arms

★ kiri loves your dog and cloudy loves kiri

★ you love them just as much 🥰🥰

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．

𝙱𝚊𝚔𝚞𝚐𝚘𝚞

★ you mentioned your dog in ur convos with Baku before

★ but never really stated what kind of breed your dog was

★ and Baku never really asked about it so meh

★ so when you actually introduced your dog to him, it was hilarious and terrifying at the same time

★ your Neapolitan mastiff was very protective of you (and he was huge AN ABSOLUTE UNIT HAVE YOU SEEN THEM)

★ as was Bakugou (the protective one I mean but the huge part can also apply hmmm)

★ you were worried they’d actually fight with each other

★ your dog would win no cap

★ but Bakugou does not condone violence against animals *chefs kiss*

★ your doggo had a really close bond with you so it’s understandable that he would be wary of any stranger

★ you ended up becoming the mediator between Baku and your dog

★ but eventually, you had to leave them both alone in the living room (rip), since you had to go fetch (lmao fetch get it) something in your kitchen

★ fear for your bf and dog’s lives intensifies

★ your dog had this intimidating aura that scared off strangers, considering his size and all

★ and Baku was the type that challenged every person he’s met, with a fight

★ so both boys might not be compatible sigh

★ you wondered if Baku preferred smaller dogs (plot twist he loves every dog no matter the size)

★ that is until you were almost in the living room and spotted Baku kneeling to your dog’s level

★ you hid in the corner and watched everything unfold

★ you ALMOST choked on your spit when u heard Baku CONVERSING with your doggo

★ it’s not that the whole act was stupid, you’re just surprised that it was something Bakugou would do

★ eavesdropping a little more, you heard Baku sigh

★ “look we’re here for them for the same thing”

★ “I want to take care of them and you want to protect them”

★ “so we should just get along and cut the bullshit”

★ that was the most rational thing you ever heard from Baku

★ and he was saying it to your DOG

★ if your mastiff could talk, you think he would’ve agreed.

★ instead, as you peeked, you saw your dog slowly lowering their guard around Baku

★ probs sensing that he means no harm

★ and just ??? NUDG ES HIS HEAD ?? on Bakugou’s hand ?? (omg can u imagine that would be so 🥺🥺🥺🥺)

★ SO BAKUGOU JUSTS LOVINGLY PETS HIM ???

★ your heart exploded with uwus

★ you might’ve uwued loudly bc Baku and your doggo noticed your presence

★ Baku was about to shout at you for spying on him

★ BUT YOU SWEAR you saw your dog give Bakugou a warning look

★ Baku chose to shut up instead cus he knows your doggo ain’t playing

★ but you’re absolutely sure that Bakugou and your mastiff liked each other now

★ bc yes they do have a common goal,, and that is love and protecc u uwu

★ bonus: Baku insists you call him ‘lord explosion murder’ and you reluctantly agree

★ extra bonus: your dog loves it

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．

𝙼𝚒𝚍𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚢𝚊

★ you were very sure that Mido was a dog person

★ even before you two dated

★ you had your own doggo and she was a sweetheart 🥺🥺

★ exactly like Midoriya

★ when you dated him, you kept the ‘owning a dog’ part secret from Midoriya for personal reasons

★ just so you could see the surprised and joyful expression on his face when he met her

★ so when you actually invited him over to your house

★ your dog came over and greeted you happily !!! doggos are so pure i love it when mine does that 

★ and you saw Midoriya freeze, shortcircuit, then internally fangirl at your dog in the span of 5 seconds

★ your Saint Bernard noticed Midoriya’s excitement and went over to greet him too

★ your doggo was snuggling up to Mido and the sight was just 🥰🥰🥰 

★ two cinnamon rolls being the most adorable

★ speaking of cinnamon rolls, Mido started calling her ‘cinnamon’ because of her fur’s color

★ so Midoriya kept asking, whenever he got the opportunity, to take cinnamon out for a walk

★ you happily obliged, bc that whole scenario seemed so purifying in theory

★ your big doggo with your smol bf, a healthy balance

★ walks with cinnamon and Mido would be an experience in itself

★ like you’re used to people commenting about how big your dog was and how they’re kinda intimidating

★ but Mido being Mido, would overhear people who would say that and just go “actUALLY”

★ and he drones about how cinnamon’s breed is family-friendly and very gentle

★ so there’s nothing to be afraid of PSA IT’S NOT THE DOG’S FAULT IF THEY’RE AGGRESSIVE,, IT’S THE OWNER THAT MADE THEM LIKE THAT ! ok moving on

★ you’re so grateful to have Mido by ur side AND defending your dog get a man like Midoriya 

★ when the people are actually educated by Mido’s lecture, they ask if they can pet cinnamon

★ you say yes, and cinnamon is just happy to receive some love and attention

★ Midoriya even convinced some parents to let their kids play with your dog (with u and ur dog’s consent ofc)

★ the walk turned into the cutest playdate ever

★ and you see cinnamon just giving Mido sum kisses and your heart just did 10 backflips

★ in conclusion, Mido + big dog = wholesome content

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．

𝙼𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚘

★ OF COURSE MIRIO SCREAMED DOG LOVER ENERGY

★ i will hold onto this hc on my deathbed

★ n e ways

★ ITS ALSO A HUGE (lmao ok I should stop) PLUS THAT YOUR DOGGO WAS BIG

★ and Mirio was just a big ol hunk himself (you can confirm the big part if u know what I mean)

★ so it was a match made in heaven

★ you mentioned to him about having a doggo at home and he was all giddy

★ when he asked about the breed, you told him yours was a Bordeauxdog

★ he immediately searches up what they look like

★ and stars were shining in his eyes 🥺🥺

★ “They’re like me!” he exclaimed and you wholeheartedly agreed

★ the day came when Mirio and your dog would see each other

★ you promised to bring your doggo to him at the park, since Mirio saw that the breed needed to be active outdoors and suggested a morning jog lmao great idea mirio jk

★ 5am and you were there at dawn just bringing your huge boy to the park

★ can you imagine walking a very big dog at the crack at dawn,,, that seems so cool tho

★ You spotted Mirio stretching in the distance and called out to him

★ once he noticed you he l i t e r a l l y ran over to you and your doggo

★ he had so much energy for someone who woke up before sunrise

★ your dog was mostly the same too, mimicking Mirio’s excitement BIG UWU

★ just two excited boys and you were there, too tired to even find it cute

★ but their interaction was a good enough reason to be happy about waking up in the morning 🥰🥰🥰

★ Mirio volunteers to jog with your dog, and you saw that your doggo already warmed up to Mirio and that you were too dead in the inside to actually jog, so you let them have their fun

★ a few paces behind mirio and your doggo, you saw how fitting the scene looked

★ Mirio looked more like your dog’s owner than yourself, the connection was so natural

★ You wanted to slap Mirio over the head for wanting to call your dog ‘Junior’ since you said they were so alike

★ Mirio and his weird nicknames but its kinda cute ngl

★ after the jog, you and Mirio just passed out on your bed, worn out from the exercise and waking up really early

★ Both of you had a peaceful cuddle session

★ SIKE

★ It just so happened that junior likes your bed and claims it as his own

★ and he so conveniently forgot that you and Mirio were lying on it

★ MIRIO WAS ALREADY BIG ENOUGH IN YOUR KING-SIZED BED

★ having a Bordeaux dog settle himself on your bed was anything but pleasant

★ he lied down between you and Mirio (almost suffocating you) and you swore Mirio was just laughing at your demise

★ you maybe have to ban both boys away from your bed 🙄😳 

[deberiaestarescribiendo]

Saint Jude's Miracle: A Javier Peña x OFC (Isa) Fanfiction. Chapter VI

Summary: Javier and Steve reunite and reflect on their past and their present and the hurtful memories they have to carry from their time in Colombia. Meanwhile Isa struggles with her everyday life and not having news from Javier for days is starting to worry her.

Word count: 2,6k

Warnings: PTSD talks, mentions of violence. (This is me trying to solve one plothole from season 2 from a character I really liked and hated at the same time👀)

A/N: So this took longer than I thought, I completely lost the inspiration and words didn’t flow I had to restart this many times. I guess I will look at this in a few weeks and think I should have revised even more, but I promised to post this today, so there it is. This is plot and more plot with a little bit of angst and fluff at the end.

Series masterlist

Chapter VI: Old Friends

Time is a curious thing; here they are many years after: Their bodies are not the same; the jeans are tighter around the belly and the hair is already grey in some parts, wrinkles around the eyes bear witness of the years that had pass through them, but nonetheless the conversation flows as if not a day has passed.

The empty beers sit to the side of the table leaving a small pool of their condensation over the wooden table. The music is loud at the bar and Javi and Steve had been quite for a few minutes now. The question floating above them making the air thicker every second it passes without addressing the matter.

“I should have reach to you sooner” Javi says holding his half bottle, is it the fifth or sixth he has finished?

“Don’t worry about it” Steve shakes his head and leaves his bottle on the pile “I called a few times, but I thought you needed time to process it all”

“The thing is I didn’t” Javi shows half a smile “I really fucked up and when they gave me Cali I thought I could redeem myself. Tried to do it by the book, tried to outsmart them” he leans on the table “and what happened? It was a fucking charade” he snarls

“You did well getting all that shit on the news” the blond agent taps on his friend arm “Shit! I wanted to quit myself when I saw it”

“They didn’t give me another option. But...” Javi crosses his arms over his chest when he feels that familiar feeling, the words and feelings choking him

“You didn’t want to”

“Fuck, I’m a middle age man! This is what I’ve been doing for my whole life? What was I supposed to do?” he exhales deeply, a burden is lifted out of his chest

“Everybody said it was unfair if it helps” Steve consoles

“I guess not Stechner” Javi scoffs

“Oh, you haven’t heard?” Steve comes close “He disappeared. For real, MIA. Nobody has heard from him in years”

“Well, I don’t wish death to anyone...” Javier shakes his head:” who am I kidding? Fuck him!”

The two of them laugh out loud for a few minutes; the waiter guessing that their laughs deserve another round; leaves two cold beers on their table with a wink

“For Stechner, I guess”

“May he rot in hell” and they drink together

“So...about that wife of yours” Steve has been dying to ask more about Isa and Connie has tasked him with getting all the information he can gather.

“Isa” Javier reaches for his wallet. In the small plastic pocket inside it, there’s a picture of the three of them on a photo booth, the same day they had to go to the mall to get Elvi’s photo for her school application.

Elvira is seated on their laps while Javi and Isa smile at her

“Oh, she’s gorgeous. You’ve been always lucky with the ladies, Javi”

“Well, I am. I don’t know how she bears with me. I give her too many headaches”

“Connie was happy when they stopped asking me to go on field operations. Not gonna lie, it felt good for a bit getting back to a desk and just do paperwork. But then...” Steve blue eyes look glossy in this light and after too many beers “I saw myself reflected on the glass doors of the office and shit, it hit me; I was old and dying on a desk. And then you called”

“I understand”

“When you said you were married with a kid, I really couldn’t believe that you and I were once those dudes in Colombia”

“It feels like a million years ago”

“And just a few days ago at the same time” completes Steve and Javier nods

“What does she know? your wife, how she handles all that?”

“She doesn’t. When I met her she was...first of all she had left Laredo before everybody knew me for the Escobar shit, so when we met, we were just two strangers. We could talk and I could kick everything under a rug and let her form an opinion about me by herself without interferences” his gaze wanders over the tables: families having a quite dinner; a couple that has an untouched plate in front of them while they kiss and talk in whispers.

“And after you married?” Steve asks interrupting his thoughts

“I just told her the necessary” he shakes his head the necessary is almost nothing.

“Well, it’s better that way, but I couldn’t hide it from Connie. Man! I was out control; everything and anything could trigger me. I was anxious, paranoid all the time. I woke up in the middle of the night, got my gun out of the safe if I heard a car tire exploding or any loud noise and I’d had my heart beating fast for hours. And let’s not talk about the nightmares”

“The helicopter?” Javi asks, his voice is thin almost a whisper remembering the extreme methods the police used when the hunt for Escobar was on its peak

“Yeah...and many others. I keep on seeing the two of us entering that house, but instead of finding Olivia crying, she’s dead, shot dead as her mum” Steve sniffs and coughs moving uncomfortably on his chair. “That’s when I looked for help”

Javier nods remembering so many nights where he thought his brain could kill him, reimaging that kid in the ally, rescuing Helena, all the things he saw when Los Pepes were unleashed. By your hand.

“We should call it a night, amigo”

“I see your Spanish has not improved. Just the two words you knew back in Colombia” Javi scoffs with a grin

“Cabrón”

“Yep, that’s the second one”

Isa

It’s been two days since he left and he hasn’t called. Isa tries to focus on everything she needs to do before Elvira starts the new school year. She has called Chucho every afternoon thinking that maybe he had some news, but nothing.

“Ese marido tuyo aguanto mientras Elvi era chiquita y ahora que pudo se largo” (Your husband stayed with you while Elvi was a baby and now that she’s grown, he has left you) her mother commented once she got the news that Javi was away and he hadn’t call in three days. News travel fast in a small town and she hears the comments about her, about Javi: he did it again, he left another woman and run away, he left her as he left Lorraine. Every day Isa had to struggle with her own thoughts and the constant reminder from her mother and the ladies in Laredo that something was wrong with Javier.

Her brain repeats the same litany:

He must be caught up in something

Maybe he’s somewhere where there’s not a good connection

Maybe he cannot call for security

Maybe he did run away

Maybe he’s in danger

She tries to stop her mind when it gets that fast spiraling down towards the darker scenarios she can imagine. On the third night after he left and hadn’t called she had a terrible nightmare and she had to keep her little night lamp on as she does every night he spends away and every day since then, the lamp is on while she rests, sleeping just for a few hours and then spending hours turning back and forth trying not to think about the worst possible things she can imagine. What would she do if he never comes back? What would she do if something bad happen to him? Even though they had made peace by making love in that old truck before parting she could not forget their arguments and the things left unsaid. He would never leave them like that, would he?

Isa tries to be calm, not to project her fears and worries onto her daughter but each day she’s challenged with the never ending things she has to do at home each day: laundry, cooking, cleaning, and every time she thinks she’s finished there’s something new that has come up. Elvira is stressed, as any kid her age, watching the summer slipping away with its long days of freedom on top of her dad being away. So she’s more agitated than usual, sassy and misbehaving just to get her mother’s attention.

The trip to the supermarket is a long chant of demands: I want Cereals, I want Ice cream. All Isa can hear is IwanIwantIwantIwant and the wheels of her shopping cart screeching on the ground. She thinks her wrist is about to snap open just trying to hold Elvira’s hand so she sticks to her side.

“It’s really crowded, cielo, stay with me” she sighs trying to be patient.

But the moment, Isa hesitates and looks down to read her shopping list, she’s out

“I’m gonna get my cereal”

“Elvi!”

Isabel gains a few complaints from some old lady that she almost railed over trying to run for her daughter.

“Oh, you want that one?”

“Yes, please. I can’t reach” Isa laughs softly watching her daughter acting polite and looking like an angel towards the stranger woman. The lady gives her the colorful box and Elvi jumps excitedly until she sees her mum at the end of the aisle.

“¿Qué te dije de que te separases de mi?” (What did I tell you about running away from me?” the little girl pouts and answers

“I thought you would say no if I ask for this”

“Ay, Elvi. I’m sorry if she bothered you” Isa smiles to the woman. She is on her 40s, Isa guesses, she has a beautiful elegant visage framed by a brown with blond highlights mane. She smiles widely with her scarlet lips: “No hay problema” (No problem) she answers in Spanish, her accent seems different to the Mexican-American accent Isa is used to listen to in this part of Texas.

“Gracias igualmente. Está obsesionada con esto que está lleno de azúcar” (Thank you anyway, she’s obsessed with this sugary thing” Isa ruffles her child’s hair

“La comprendo, mis hijos son igual” (I understand, my kids are the same)

“¿De dónde es? tiene un acento muy bonito” (Where are you from? you have a very beautiful accent) Isa asks, for a moment she thinks that she might be overstepping but the woman laughs softly patting Isa’s arm with her hand stylishly decorated in elegant gold and diamonds rings, her manicure is perfect.

“Colombia,pero ya llevo unos años acá en los Estados Unidos” (Colombia, but I’ve been here in the USA for a while now)

“¡Oh! me han dicho que es muy bonito” (I’ve been told it’s very beautiful) Elvi grabs her mum by the hem of her dress rushing her to finish the boring conversation, mainly because she wants to get back home and open the box of cereal “Bueno, un gusto” (Well, it’s been a pleasure) Isa waves

“¿Cómo se llama?” the woman asks when they’re leaving

“Isa, ¿y usted?” (Isa, and you?)

“Judy. Un placer” she grins

The TV has already passed to that late night teleshopping advertising stupid stuff with even more stupid people repeating again and again the same lame catchy phrases. But there’s silence at this hour, Elvi is sleeping soundly and now Isabel can rest on the sofa, eyes fixed on the stupid people on TV and her longing for Javier.

She took the laundry out of the dryer today. Mixed in all the clothes an old “University of Texas” t-shirt that Javi rarely wears around the house and that she has stolen as pajamas. Without even realizing it, she smelled the fabric only sensing the sweet scent of the softener she uses so she had rushed to the bathroom and sprinkled the t-shirt with Javi’s cologne. And now hugs herself silently praying that tonight will be the night he calls.

The TV volume is set to the minimum and when the strong ringing sound surrounds the house Isa thinks is coming from it until she realizes that is coming from the kitchen. She runs, stepping on Elvi’s toys and bumping her knee over the sofa. Limping she runs and picks up the phone

“Hello?” her voice is shaky

“Isa is me” Javi says on the other line

“Javi, thank God, where were you? You told me you will call when you’d arrive and it’s been three days and I...” she babbles

“I’m fine, I’m sorry...it’s been a little bit crazy” he sounds tired and he’s speaking softly as if he cannot raise his voice

“Are you okay? Are you in danger?” Isa sniffs, the tears rolling down and she leans on the cold tile wall of the kitchen

“No, it’s just we have to go to different places, meet a bunch of people. I didn’t have the time. I’m sorry Isa. Elvi’s sleeping I guess?”

“Yes, but she will be really happy to know that you called”

“I’ll try to call earlier tomorrow”

“Yes...please, she’s being a bit difficult lately”

“Why?” Isa can hear how the bed creaks on his end and his deep grunt

“I guess it’s the end of summer, you’re not here, my mum...”

He huffs

“Elvi told her we didn’t know where you where and you can imagine”

“She hates me even more”

“Don’t worry about her. Tell me about the job” Isa sits on the ground holding the phone on her shoulder

“Isa...I rather listen to you”

“I haven’t done much. Nothing interesting”

“It doesn’t matter” he answers

And thus she begins telling every tiny detail, Javi was silent on the other side and when she asks if he’s listening he just hums.

“Anyway...I guess that’s all. And I hope you’re not mad but your old university t-shirt has a new hole in it which somehow makes it even more comfortable”

“You’re wearing it now?”

“Yes...I miss you so it’s just like having your arms around me”

“I miss you too, Isa. I only have this old dude on the medallion and the picture I keep on my wallet to remind me of you...not that I need anything to remember you”

“That old dude...” she laughs “he’s a saint and I think he’s doing a good job for the moment”

“Really?” Isa smiles widely when she hears his deep chuckle on the other side

“You’ve said I miss you for the first time, I will say it’s even a miracle”

“What? I’ve told that plenty of times” he says a little bit offended “ but we’ve never been parted that much since we’re together”

“You don’t say you love me that much either...” Isa adds

“That’s not true” he says firmly

“Yes it is, I’m not mad, you express it in other ways. I’ve accepted that when I marry you”

“I’m sure I say it many times...”

“You can say it now...” she whispers

“I love you, Isa, and I miss you” he mutters

“See? Saint Jude is working its magic” Isa laughs. Her heart is full and she feels like an enormous weight has been lifted. He loves me, he’ll be back

“So I’m not a lost cause anymore?” Javi replies with an amused tone

“We’ll see when you get here”

“And you won’t say it back?”

“What?”

“That you love me and miss me”

“Ay, Javier” she sighs “I sleep every night waiting for you with the lights on, praying that you will get back to me soon, I sleep with your t-shirt and even if I don’t believe in it really, I keep praying and praying that you will be back to our bed, that I will turn and you’ll be there, so yeah, I miss you and I love you. Te amo”

“Yo también te amo”

“Good night, mi amor”

“Good night”

(taglist: @sara-alonso)

[cottage-babe]

Burning Scars part III

Previous | Chapter 3 | Next 

Masterlist

Sooo I lied... NEXT chapter will give more details on Y/n’s past. I was gonna write it in this chapter, but this came out wayyyy too long. 

I also changed the story up a bit from the shows plot, but it’s generally the same. 

Summary: Y/n, a werewolf from a hidden village, comes across Zuko and Iroh after being exiled. How has fate intertwined the wolf into the avatar's destiny?

*****This chapter takes place on Season 2 Episode 11 (I love using quotes from the show!!)

___

It was late into the afternoon when the three of them set out on their journey to the next town. 

The sun was bright and was about an hour away from setting into the highest peaks of the mountains. The forest around them was quiet; the only noises being made were soft crunches as the feet of the ostrich-horses padded into the dirt path. Yes, you heard that right. Ostrich-horses. 

Lee decided to take an extra one that was there in the stables so the three of them could travel faster. When Y/n asked him how much it costed him, he said the owner had generously lent it for free. Of course, even she wasn’t stupid enough to believe that. 

But nonetheless, they traveled with Mushi on his own Ostrich-horse while Lee and Y/n rode the other one. The girl still couldn’t manage to ride the horse properly and had to stick both legs on one side. She had tried to ride with Mushi, but he insisted that the pain in his shoulder would increase if she ever needed to hold on to him and that it was safer to be with Lee. She doubted she would ever need to hold on to a rider, but she didn’t want to hurt the old man, so she agreed with him. 

Turns out, she was wrong and on multiple occasions the ride became too steep for her to just hold on to the saddle. Y/n had to grip tightly onto Lee until the hills would even out (and let her just say, Lee was not as scrawny as he seemed to be).

The trio traveled a lot faster than they did the first time. An hour had passed and the town and its people were already miles away. The sun’s last rays shone out of the mountains before it faded away; the sky turning from bright orange to a light lavender. 

For the entire ride, they were oddly silent. It seemed that the events that had occurred earlier in the day quieted the two talkative members. This silence was soon broken by a quiet moaning. 

“Uhhhh.... OhhAhoo...” Mushi quietly groaned. 

Y/n and Lee looked over to the old man to see him clutching at his shoulder. 

“Maybe we should make camp,” said Lee.

“No please,” Mushi insisted. “Don’t stop just for me.”

Then, Mushi shot the girl a wink and continued to groan loudly. Y/n giggled as Lee’s shoulders began to tense up and he pulled the reins of their ride to halt the animal. Mushi copied his nephew. 

“This is a good place to stop anyways.” Y/n spoke as she hopped off. “I can hear water somewhere around here.”

It was a quiet sound; a soft rushing of a stream, perhaps a river. It'd be nice for her to finally take a real bath.

"Really? I don't hear anything." Lee said when he jumped down beside her.

She should probably make a mental list of all the things that humans can't do. To start it off: humans have sucky hearing. The water seemed about half a mile away, so a 5 minute jog or 10 minute walk. The fact that they couldn't hear the it was quite alarming.

How have humans survived this long?

Y/n shrugged her shoulders in response to Lee. 

“Seems like my ears are just superior to yours,” she grinned competitively. 

Lee playfully glared back at her before a small smile rested on his face. Maybe the two were finally coming to better terms. 

The trio grabbed all of their things from the horses and set up their camp. They didn’t have much; two sleeping bags that belonged to the boys, a tea pot with cups, and some food from the last village. Unfortunately, Y/n didn’t have anywhere to sleep, but that didn’t phase her at all. The floor wasn’t the worst place she’d slept. 

Although the sun had already set, the sky had yet to succumb to darkness and it was still quite bright. The girl in the group decided that she still had enough time to bathe and make it back before the stars appeared, so she grabbed the clothes she had borrowed from Lee and started on her path to the river. 

Being back in the forest, away from the barren sun and rocky floors, brought a swell of happiness to Y/n. The passing breeze sang to her as it fluttered through the trees; an orchestrated harmony to match the chattering animals that hid in secret places around her. It was so nice to be back, to feel so free. 

She spun around with a quiet laugh and the skirt of her dress twirled around her. The girl felt so at home that it almost seemed that nothing had happened to her; almost like she hadn’t been forced to leave her pack and be taken in by strangers. It just felt so free here. 

Y/n slipped off her shoes and began to run.

The wind blew past her in defiance to her speed, but nothing seemed to slow her down. The smiling girl jumped over wood logs, through leaning branches, and sped past towering trees. 

It wasn’t until the greenery subsided into an open area that the girl stopped her antics. The sound of the wind was soon replaced by a the soft hum of the flowing river. 

She stopped to catch her breath, then undressed to begin her shower. Before she stepped into the water, Y/n sat down on the dirty clothes so she could examine the wound that adorned her thigh. Slowly, she unwrapped the white cloth then set it off to the side; just at the bank of the river. Her hands drifted to the wound and gently felt the skin there.

Her bite had completely healed already. 

She bit her lip as she tried to think. The skin had scarred deeply and settled into  a pinkish tone that showed where the teeth marks had been. She knew that a werewolf’s period of healing was slightly faster than a human’s, so she’s going to have to cover it back up with the used wraps before she could go back to see the boys. 

Ew, that’s kinda gross. 

Ignoring her disgust, Y/n walked into the water. The sensation cooled her skin and the water lapped around her. The river was fairly calm, but the flow of the water gently pushed up against the shore before receding back down. She scrubbed her body with her hands until the area ran clear and the mud drifted down the long river. When she finished, she cleaned out her borrowed clothes from Lee. They weren’t that dirty, but she wanted to be polite as a her way of thanks. 

Soon she waded back to shore (after seeing the first few stars twinkle in the sky) and put her dress back on. The girl looked to where she had set her bandages, but her eyes only found an empty spot. 

Oh no.

She frantically searched around the bank of the river for the white, bloody pieces of cloth, but unfortunately came up empty handed. They weren’t hidden in the reeds or blown away to a near by rock. They were gone.

Y/n stood still for a moment, trying to think if she had misplaced them. No, she had left them right here at the edge of the shore, just a few feet away from the river so it wouldn’t get swept up in the wa-

Just as she thought that, the tides rushed up and touched her feet, exactly where she knew she left her wraps. 

The water had carried her bandages away. 

What was she supposed to do now? She can’t go back to the boys with her bite magically healed. They would suspect that she was a “dangerous being” or something. 

She’s going to have to see if they have an extra one that she could take without their suspicion. She’d steal it if she had to. 

And that was what riddled her mind as she walked back to their campsite. Maybe it would be too dark for them to see her scars? No, they would have a camp fire. 

Eventually, Y/n saw the orange light of their fire and paused before she hit the edge of the treeline. The two boys were sitting on rocks next to the fire while drinking tea and eating. They seemed to be having a light and happy conversation between them. 

Okay, good moods = good reactions. 

Here goes nothing.

Y/n walked over to Lee and Mushi; both of them looking up to greet her. They both had a smile on their faces that met their eyes. It was good to see Lee so happy. 

Lee looked at the pile of wet clothes in her hands that conveniently covered her wound. “Oh, you washed my clothes. You didn’t have to.” 

He held his hands out to take the clothing. Y/n quickly passed it to him, then brought her hands back in front of her. She tried to nonchalantly cover her scar, but it seemed like Lee noticed it anyways. 

“Do you need some new bandages?” He asked, standing up straight. “I can help you put them on. Let me go get them.”

He walked over to his bag and ruffled through it until he pulled out the clean wraps. When he returned, Lee looked as though he was looking for a place for the girl to sit. Instead, she raised one hand up to politely decline him. 

“Really, Lee, it’s fine. I can do it myself.” She tried to reach out for the wrap with the hand that didn’t cover her leg, but he pulled the item back. 

“There is no reason to cover up your wound, Y/n!” Mushi laughed. “It can’t be any worse than what we saw yesterday.” 

Y/n forced a laugh out when she looked at the old man, but unfortunately for her, Lee saw this moment to catch her off guard and grab both her hands. He had planned to pull her down to sit on the large rock, but paused when his eyes met her leg. 

Lee instantly gasped and let go of her.

Y/n slowly backed away in fear of his reaction with wide eyes. 

“U-uhh, I c-can explain,” she said defensively and she raised her hands up in a surrender. 

Once his eyes saw what the cause of the commotion was, Mushi rose from his position and stared at the girl with a confused look. Lee, on the other hand, had drawn two swords out of nowhere and was threatening her with it. 

“Why is your leg healed already? What are you?” He yelled. 

Y/n was a few feet away from him and was still racking her brain for an answer to his question. Should she just confess everything right now? And put her people at risk? Was her life really worth the safety of her town; the people that betrayed her? 

She decided that now was not the time to let everything out and took a step toward Lee, her plan being to calm him before he decided to kill her.

“Lee, listen to me. I’m not-” 

Her words and steps were interrupted by one of the boy’s swords sweeping out, a line of... fire shooting out?! 

Y/n jumped back quickly and barely dodged the lick of the flames.

H-how is he...? Did he just...?

Before she could think much of it, Mushi had shaken off the shock and ran towards Lee.

“Zuko! Stop!” The old man warned. He grasped one of Lee’s arms to stop him from harming the girl.

The young boy grunted while sweeping out the arm that was yet to be captured and another shot of heat spread from it. It tried to reach her again, so instead of jumping back, she ran toward the forest in a complete sprint, ignoring the calls of Mushi behind her. 

She was completely hidden in the trees and bushes before she decided to look back. Her eyes focused on the two males that couldn’t see her and saw that they were arguing quietly... well sorta quietly. Mushi was whisper yelling while Lee was quite loud. 

Lee’s words of mistrust leaked from his mouth and flooded her area. Could he really feel that way? She had thought that they were becoming friends, but it turned out she was wrong .

Y/n’s heart still felt like it was beating out of her chest. 

What was she supposed to do now? Why did fire come out of his hands? Will they try to kill her? Mushi wouldn’t let that happen, right? Lee was such a wildcard, though, so who knows what could happen. 

So much things were happening in such a short period of time. Just yesterday she had been shamed and banished from her pack, marked with a bite that will show her embarrassment for all time. And today she relished in the care of Lee and Mushi before they, too, turned on her. Maybe she should start taking that “lone wolf” phrase more seriously. 

But leaving now was so hard. She didn’t know where the next town was and she didn’t know anyone nearby. Once again, she was faced with the torment of being an outcast. 

It was way too dark to travel, so the lonely wolf girl laid on the softest part of the ground; the two men never leaving her line of sight in case they moved too close. 

Perhaps hours had passed, but soon enough the girl’s exhaustion caught up with her and she succumbed to the patient whispers of her dreams. 

___

“Shut up Ayano!” Y/n whispered as the two of them made it out of their den, past the sleeping wolves. 

They were lucky to even have made it this far; most of the pack had gone out for a long days hunt and were exhausted. Since it was so late into the night, everyone was deep in their sleep. 

Her sister giggled once more into the palm of her hand. She always loved the thrill of sneaking out, didn’t she?

Soon enough, the sisters made it deep into the forest to find their meeting spot. It was a large rock that curved inward and up toward the bright moon. Ayano and Y/n ran to the side of it and began to dig with their hands into the soft dirt; their palms becoming increasingly dirty until their hands met a large leather bag. They opened the bag to retrieve it’s contents, but paused when they heard a low growl. 

The girls looked around worriedly; scared that they had been caught in the act of leaving. The punishment would be severe, especially with their family’s high ranking. Three sets of glowing red eyes appeared behind the bushes and they challenged the sisters. The girls knew better however and stood statue-like. 

Then, the hiding wolves pounced on the two girls and Y/n gasped in surprise. Ayano was tackled harshly to the ground, the impact leaving a bruise on her human skin, no doubt. She let out a small scream and tried to get away from the large animal above her. 

The night was dark, but even the white streak of fur that lined the back of the angry wolf couldn’t be hidden. Y/n scoffed.

“Binu, get off of her.” 

The wolf’s red eyes looked over to where you were standing and bared its teeth in a growl. Eventually, the noise morphed into an obnoxious laugh as the boy changed into his human body.

“We really got you guys, didn’t we?” Binu rolled off of his sister and helped her up. 

Ayano angrily wiped at her body to removed the dirt; she had spent an hour cleaning herself at the pond earlier. 

“You guys are so stupid, what if an Elder heard us and we all would be punished because of your idiotic games.” The girl mumbled. 

The two other boys shifted into their bodies as well. The three of them were the sister’s brothers: Binu, Fen, and Shong. They were all technically twins (or whatever you call a set of five), as they were born at the same time from the same mother. 

“I told them the same thing, Ayano!” Fen whispered while he looked around in fear of someone watching. “I don’t even think we should go out tonight, we should stay here and get ready for the trials tomorrow.” 

Shong pushed his brother to the side and walked over to the leather bag that the girls had dug out before. “Quit being such an ass-kisser, Fen. It’s not like we have anything to worry about anyways. Our plan is fool proof.” 

He opened the bag and threw everyone their clothes. The siblings quickly got dressed in their brown and green attire. 

“Are we ready?” Shong asked. 

The group nodded and started on their journey to the human town a couple of miles away. Binu had overheard that a festival was occurring that night in the village; the cause of the celebration was unknown, but the five of them just adored the liveliness of the humans. They always got so much happier at night when the music was playing and the lanterns were out. 

They eventually made it to the town and heard the soft beating of a drum accompanying the laughter of the citizens. 

Thump... Thump... Thump...

___

Thump... Thump... Thump...

Y/n’s eyes shot open from her dream. That noise was not just in her head.

She slowly got up from her position on the floor and rubbed the sleepiness from her eyes. The sun was barely peaking out from the eastern mountains; it must be morning. The boys were laying in their bed rolls fast asleep, but they probably wouldn’t even hear anything if they were awake.

Y/n strained her ears to listen again for the beating noise. It sounded like a pack of big, four legged animals. The way they ran sounded different than wolves and it seemed like they were half a mile away... okay now way less than that. 

They’re so fast and they’re coming in this direction!

She was going to jump out and wake them up (even despite their large fight last night, she didn’t want them trampled), but then she head human voices near the animals. They must be tamed animals then.

So Y/n decided to wait in her spot at the edge of the trees to see if the boys were going to react in any way. They were certainly cautious when she first met them. 

The animals had finally made it to the boy’s camp and the girl looked around the trees to see them. 

They were five huge... lizard things? They didn’t seem too dangerous, but the men riding them looked like they would kill someone. They were decked out in black and red clothing and made a tight circle around the sleeping men.

Lee and Mushi’s ostrich-horse began to get antsy at it’s post. The squawks of the bird aroused the men from their sleep and they finally noticed the group around them. They jumped up and held their hands in the same position that had threatened her with. 

Maybe that’s how they fight, or it could be that weird flame thing from last night.

The two men were clearly outnumbered. Even if they could fight well, it seemed like the group around them were warriors of some kind. If it came down to it, Y/n would help them without hesitation. 

After a tense moment of glaring, Mushi lowered his arms and placed a hand on Lee's shoulder. The younger boy didn't lower his guard, glanced around at his uncle. 

"Colonel Mongke!" Mushi smiled. "What a pleasant surprise!"

The man who spoke next, presumably Colonel Mongke, had three large feathers poking out the top of his head. His face was long and a gold nose ring adorned it. 

"If you're surprised we're here, then the Dragon of the West has lost a few steps."

Then, he and his group began displaying their weapons; clashing gauntlets, swinging swords, and aiming bows. 

A show of power, huh?

Y/n had seen this many times before when she was with her pack; animals would demonstrate their deadliest trait to scare their opponents. This challenge of strength caused the girl to release a low growl. 

Wow, didn't know I could do that as a human. 

This was really getting serious. Y/n began removing her clothes and throwing them into a pile on the floor. If she was going to change, then she didn't want to ruin her brand new dress. 

"You know these guys?" Lee spoke as the group's flaunting finished. 

"Sure, Colonel Mongke and the Rough Rhinos are legendary. Each one is a different kind of weapon specialist." Mushi looked around to each person. "They are also a very capable singing group."

Y/n let out a laugh, of course he would find something to joke about now. 

"We're not here to give a concert." Mongke snarled, "We're here to apprehend fugitives!"

Fugitives?

Mushi rubbed at his arm. "Would you like some tea first? I'd love some. How about you, Kahchi? I make you as a jasmine man. Am I right?"

"Enough stalling! Round 'em up!"

Those words were a good enough cue for Y/n to join in as well. As the first sounds of battle began to ring out, the girl began her transformation. 

She could feel her bones stretch, her fur growing out of her skin, her teeth elongating. It used to be such a painful experience, but she grew numb to the feelings already. Being in her natural fur could only be described as freedom. 

The girl knew exactly how she looked to everyone; her fur was as black as the night sky and her eyes matched. It was the one thing that separated her from her siblings, their eyes being a fiery red while hers blended with darkness. It's why she was always the best hunter. 

But here in the daylight, she probably looked like a hound straight from the shadows of the spirit world. To humans, she was probably otherworldly. 

Y/n jumped out of her hiding spot and attacked the first red man she saw. He had an arrow docked on his bow that was aimed straight at Lee and was about to release it, but the girl's claws reached him first. She tackled him off his saddle and bared her teeth at him. 

No, I can't kill them. Not in front of Lee and Mushi. 

Instead of doing the harm she wanted, the girl used her paw to push him away like a rag doll. The fear of dying was enough for him to jump on his lizard-animal and ride away in the direction they came. 

Y/n looked around to see that everyone had stopped to look at her. They had probably never seen a creature like her. 

Mushi took this opportunity to wrap the chain of one of the men's weapons around the leg of a nearby steed and sent the lizard running, efficiently ridding the battle of another opponent. 

Lee fought with the Colonel, but the man stopped attacking when he saw Y/n beginning to approach his other two members. 

Mongke yelled at his men to retreat before smirking at Lee and Mushi. 

"I'll just let nature finish the two of you off."

He quickly rode off with the rest of his group and left the trio alone. 

Mushi and Lee looked at you with fear, determination, and confusion written across their faces. The younger boy looked as though he was getting ready to strike her; as if she was some wild animal that needed to be tamed. 

Alright, let's stop this before they try to kill me. 

Y/n began to shrink back down to her human form; her bones reduced in size, her fur and claws retracted into her skin. Slowly, the girl returned to be the person Lee and Mushi had helped before. 

Mushi's eyes widened in disbelief, "Oh my."

Lee had the same look decorating his face. It was as if he wanted to speak, but the only words that left his mouth were stutters of random letters. 

Y/n was kneeling on the dirt floor and stood as the boys processed her. She looked at their faces to gauge their reactions, but was left confused when Mushi looked to the side and Lee froze with a red face. She followed the boy's gaze until it landed on her very naked body. 

Oh, spirits...

Y/n quickly used her arms to cover as much as she could and ran back into the forest. 

"W-wait! Come back!" Lee shouted after her. 

She was kind of flattered that he tried to stop her from leaving. It was the only thing that littered her mind as she gathered her clothing and put them back on with a smile. This might mean that they've changed their minds about her. 

After she was dressed appropriately, Y/n took a deep breath and stepped out of her cover into the duo's line of sight. They looked relieved to see that she hadn't run away. 

"I think we have a lot to talk about," she said, wringing both hands in front of her in an almost shy manner. 

This is going to be a long conversation. 

___

That was about 4,000 words, phew. 

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Masterlist

Taglist: @bucky-blogs @hopefuloperaangelnerd @simplyfandomish @oddlypointlessescapes ((Sorry the tag didn’t work!))

[kickingstonesandbones]

ADA: Songs the BSD characters remind me of (even though no one asked)

I’ve recently watched all 3 seasons of the Anime, the movie and the OVA and have started reading the Manga from the beginning. Right now I am only at chapter 40 because I started reading like 2 days ago, so idk stuff that would happen after the Anime storyline (if it goes that much further than season 3 ending, I wouldn’t know). I based this off on either specific lyrics that made me think it would fit the character or a certain vibe I was getting from a character. For some characters it was easier, for some not so much lol It is why some characters have multiple songs that make me think of them while others only have one (if they even do have one, that is – but the ADA does, except for Katai). So please do not rip into me because you think a song might not fit them as well as I do, because I just have not gotten to the latest chapter of the Manga yet, so there are some characters I do not know that well yet but I wanted to do this for fun. Other than that, I hope you enjoy this list~ Also, feel free to add to my list if you have songs that I haven’t mentioned but think would fit the characters, if you want to~

My taste in music is also pretty broad and not limited to certain languages or genres (though I do have my preferences), so I will provide translations of the lyrics in different languages from English. The German ones (like Kontra K, Elif, etc.) were translated by myself (on the spot), for other languages like Romanian or Korean, etc. I had to look up translations on the internet.

Disclaimer: For the songs for Dazai, one might want to consider a TW, for one of his songs has extremely open-no-room-for-speculation suicidal lyrics. If this affects you, please skip that one, I will put that song last on his list.

And, well, because this is 12 pages long in the document, I will be making a cut here…

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𝔸𝔻𝔸 𝕚𝕟 𝕘𝕖𝕟𝕖𝕣𝕒𝕝

💙 Wölfe (Wolves) by Kontra K 💙

It’s about so much more than just strength, it’s about solidarity and virtue / It runs so much deeper than your wounds could ever get / We’re walking through the fire together until the day we die […] /

And we are so infinitely far away from being perfect / But what doesn’t kill us will make us stronger / And hope dies last / It dies last /

A lot of the members have been through quite some shit, but they hold it together all the time and always pull through and manage to keep moving forward sooo (some random arsehole I talked to spoilered me about Yosano and Mori  -_-)

💙 Born For This by The Score 💙

A force that they can’t stop / They just don’t get it, I think they forget / I’m not done until I’m on top / I know I was born for this / I know I was born for this […] /

We are the warriors, who learned to love the pain / We come from different places but have the same name / ‘Cause we were born for this / We are the broken ones, who chose to spark a flame / Watch as our fire rages, our hearts are never tame /

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ℕ𝕒𝕜𝕒𝕛𝕚𝕞𝕒 𝔸𝕥𝕤𝕦𝕤𝕙𝕚

💙 Believe by Hollywood Undead 💙

I can’t believe / That when I breathe / That there’s something good inside of me / Just one good thing inside of me / So close to me / That memory / Of that one good thing inside of me / Just one good thing inside of me /

If I went out the back door, nobody would stop me / But, where would I go? / ‘Cause I ain’t never had a real home / So, what do I know? / So, I could keep runnin’, hide until they find me / But, what would that do? /

That he really hates himself that much and how insecure he is in his right to be alive not just simply because he is a living being really hurts to see.

💙 Face it by NF 💙

Don’t know how to face it / Let’s go back to basics / Yes, say what you mean, do what you say, but man I hate this / I just don’t know what I’m chasing, don’t know what I’m chasing / Yes, somebody told me / Life is something you don’t wanna play with / But I just keep on playing like life is just a playground […] / I look at myself and I ask what the goal is / Yeah, tell me what your goal is / I’m just so lost in emotions, I don’t even notice / I just slip into a place and I don’t think straight / Devil in my ear tryna tell me everything’s great / And in a year realize I’m in the same place / Running in the same race, same pace […] /

Get that sickness out my mouth / I feel like my train is derailing / I can feel it / Yo these words are only words until they actions / Words until they actions, strive on empty satisfactions / Yeah, the fact is I don’t know, fact is I don’t know /

💙 월식  (My Tragedy) by Taeyeon 💙

At the end of an empty day / Everyone busily returns from somewhere / In the red night sky / I disappear into the darkness little by litte / These many sparkling lights / There isn’t a single light that’s mine / Under the cold shade by myself / Like it wasn’t there from the start /

💙 Oceans by Jacob Lee 💙

I learnt to let go when I was younger / Scared of growing old / I would swim far into the ocean / And try to stay afloat / Until my lungs would cough up water […] /

I don't want love no more / Though it's the one thing I've been searching for / Though it's the one thing that I miss the most / Now I'm afraid to be alone / I learnt to grow old when I was younger / Scared of staying young / Afraid of the thoughts that I had conjured / That sat atop my tongue / Knowing I'd change the worlds opinion / If they would just, listen up / But they won't, now /

I feel worthless / Maybe I should open the drawer / Burn the pages / Write poems with the ash on the floor / Pour the ink, into the sink / And watch it drain from the shore /

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𝔻𝕒𝕫𝕒𝕚 𝕆𝕤𝕒𝕞𝕦

I know Dazai has a looooot of songs, but tbh I could’ve added at least another 15 because. There. Were. Just.  S O .  M A N Y .  T H A T  F I T  H I M  S O  W E L L ‼‼ (Well, at least the ones I could think of off of the top of my head right away.)

💙 Believe by Hollywood Undead 💙

Don’t you know, little boy, they’ll lay you to waste, man / Little do they know, every song is a lifespan / Yeah, they’ve taken one, but I’m takin’ my last chance / To hold all we know and let go with both hands / Though, don’t you know that plots are made from concrete / Right through the stone, can you hear my heart beat? / Beats through my bone, like no memory left me / Not for a second or a minute when I dream […] / My heart beats heavy in an open chest / And, I wanna say goodbye, but there’s nobody left /

I broke it all, and I put to the test / Put your hands in mine, and feel this emptiness / There’s no beat in my chest / ‘Cause there’s nothin’ left / No, it ain’t goodbye, its a last caress  / What’s another dream? / You could hardly sleep /

Makes me think of Oda aka the bond they had aka the admiration Dazai had for him.

💙 Face it by NF 💙

I ain’t sleeping lately / I ain’t sleeping lately / Yes, I know that I’m the only person that can change me / Maybe, that’s why I ain’t changing / That’s why I ain’t changing / I got too much on my mind, I guess I don’t know how to face it /

He obviously has a lot of issues, and I bet he still doesn’t think of himself as a good person. It strikes me as if he’s thinking that Agency Dazai is not much different from Mafia Dazai. “Your hands are black. Mafia black,” as Higuchi said. I think he did not deny it when she said that, so he doesn’t disagree with her.

💙 Rain by Hollywood Undead 💙

I don’t mind, no I don’t mind, I don’t mind the rain / Simple things and subtleties, they always stay the same / I don’t mind, that I don’t mind, no I don’t mind the rain / Like a widow’s heart, we fall apart, but never fade away (fade away) /

Run like a child, do you know where I came from? / No, I don’t, but I’m singing all the same songs / I’m alone, and you’re looking for your anyone / Does it hurt just to know that it’s all gone? / I can feel the pain in the words that you say / Hidden in the letters that were written to no name […] / Buried in red, white, and a side of some blue / Some will die too late, and somebody too soon / If he could come back, we’ll see what it cost him / We had to lose it all, just to know that we lost one /

💙 Lass mich lieber allein (better just leave me alone) by Kontra K 💙

Man, don’t explain the world to me, it isn’t perfect / And just as imperfect are also you, her and me / All of that isn’t a problem to me / But tell me, since when does hatred laugh so audaciously into my face? / But it’s somehow alright for me […] / Man, I wish for a minuscule part of naivety back / But it seems it’s somehow too late for me / Somehow already too late for me […] /

Already been wandering for so long, you forget / Who is worthy of sacrificing yourself for and for whom you better not do it / You run along the street of success without any luck (on your side) / But she walks out of hell into heaven only once and then right back / If you end up where you started then where is the meaning? /

Because I also have my baggage to carry all on my own / Just like all of the fuckers that think I’m living in heaven all by myself / But the fire and the flames in which I’ve been standing in for so long already / Man, they refuse to see them / But it’s somehow alright for me /

You better just leave me alone / Because when they carry you on their hands, they will (eventually) let you drop / I’d rather fall alone/by myself / Rather alone/by myself /

💙 Lies by Will Jay 💙

I'd rather tell myself if I ignore / These thoughts they'll go away / And my toxic friends have changed / Truth is I hate confrontation / Deal with it tomorrow / 'Cause there's nothing I can do / That's my favourite excuse / Feeding my procrastination […] /

And I think I just realised I would do anything / To keep hiding the pain I've been burying / That's why I tell / Lie-lie-lie-lie-lie-lie-lies /

💙 Du willst es (You want it) by Kontra K 💙

Only the good ones die young, and not long after the best ones follow / No idea, ask death why he thinks that I am so damn bad / Still here, we’re almost not worthy of heaven / Working day for day, only the hatred kills the pain / Life will shoot you in the chest but only ever hit your heart / Thank God that place in my chest has been emptied a long time ago […] /

We asked God, “why” / But the devil said, “doesn’t matter” / We’re swimming in a pool full of misery / But bring us another glass of it /

💙 Wie gemacht dafür (like we were made for it) by Kontra K 💙

Pretty normal, normal / Because you can’t get me, get me further down (the hole/ditch) / Than I’ve already been, you get it? […] / I’m going one-on-one with my inner demons, and I’ve been doing that for the past 13 years / I’ve been there, no matter what happened / Ask your gangsters, they know my voice / Have respect, respect for the realness / But fucking piss me off, and I’ll be sending you to heaven […] /

What pressure are you talking about, I inhale this city deep into my lungs / Put it on the beat and I’ll be giving you a new reason for your hatred /

Like we were made for it, we’re running through hell barefooted / We’re living rent-free in their heads, with the real ones, with the real ones / Like we were made for it, always loyal to my people / Swapping none of my friends for money, for the real ones, for the real ones […] /

If you’re my enemy, I’ll give you lead (bullets) / If you’re my friend, I’ll give you love / Because a wolf stays fucking loyal only to his family /

💙 Lonely by Nathan Wagner 💙

Is everybody lonely? / Is everybody scared? / Is everybody worried / That no one really cares? / See I'm afraid to love, but afraid to be alone / Still I wonder why my heart is always broke / What a way to live, let the fear take all control / Oh, this ain't life, no / I'm not alive […] /

'Cause I'm afraid to show the people who I am / I'm not special, I'm just a simple broken man / So I will hide my face with my picture perfect mask / Oh, this ain't life, no / It's just a lie […] /

If I looked you in the eye / And showed the broken things inside / Would you run away? / Would you run away? / If you saw my darkest parts / The wicked things inside my heart / Would you run away? / Or are you the same? /

The following one makes me think of Mafia Dazai

💙 Body Count by Grey ft. Thutmose 💙

I got a hunger, I got a fever / And it just won't quit / I got a temper, I got a bullet / With your name on it / Everybody wonders what it's like on top / I don't gotta wonder 'cause I call the shots […] /

My blood runs cold and my feet run faster / I still got heart, I hear a heart don't matter / Say what you want and it'll be your last words / It ain't a secret, I got a hit list / And baby, you're up next /

Stack 'em up, stack 'em up / Teach 'em not to fuck with me / Bag 'em up, bag 'em up / Let 'em know who runs these streets / Take 'em down, take 'em down / Count 'em out like one, two, three / Add a-na-na-na-na-na-na-nother one  / To the body count /

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T r i g g e r   W a r n i n g  !

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💙 Bullet by Hollywood Undead 💙

Gone too far and yeah I'm gone again / It's gone on too long, tell you how it ends / I'm sitting on the edge with my two best friends / One’s a bottle of pills, one’s a bottle of Gin / I'm twenty stories up, yeah I'm up at the top / I'll polish off this bottle, now it's pushing me off / Asphalt to me has never looked so soft / I bet my momma found my letter, now she’s calling the cops / I gotta take this opportunity before I miss it / 'Cause now I hear the sirens and they're off in the distance / Believe me when I tell you that I've been persistent / 'Cause I'm more scarred, more scarred than my wrist is / I've been trying too long, with too dull of a knife / But tonight I made sure that I sharpened it twice / I never bought a suit before in my life / But when you go to meet god, you know you wanna look nice /

We hit the sky, there goes the light / No more sun, why's it always night / When you can't sleep, well, you can't dream / When you can't dream, well, what’s life mean? / We feel a little pity, but don't empathize / The old are getting older, watch a young man die […] /

When you were young, you never thought you'd die / Found that you could but too scared to try / You looked in the mirror and you said goodbye / Climb to the roof to see if you could fly /

So if I survive, then I'll see you tomorrow / Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow

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𝕐𝕠𝕤𝕒𝕟𝕠 𝔸𝕜𝕚𝕜𝕠

💙 Brunette Ambition by Qveen Herby 💙

'Cause it's been three weeks and four days / No days off, just runways / I’m fucked up, I'll throw shade / Outwork you on a bad day […] /

On a mission, got no competition / It's hard to sleep with brunette ambition / Revenge is sweet, pussy: my religion / They say slow down, but I never listen /

Old me forsaken, these rules are for breaking / I get lonely with no new friends / Associate, but they can't relate / When you want the world, they’re uncomfortable /

This one is 50% lyrics, 50% overall energy of the song. Yosano is a bad bitch, and I love her.

💙 STFD by TeZATalks 💙    [Flash Warning for epilepsy]

I'm not here to take no names or reservations / I'm the devil telling Satan I'm just wild / Sit the fuck down / Imma kill it let me live just how I'm livin' / Ghetto heart with good intentions / I'm just wild / Sit the fuck down /

I'm chasing freedom for the fearless / I gotta do it 'cause I can't chase fear myself / I'm 'bout as broken as I confess / But better than most that lay cower / Proud of who they crowd / You don't know me / Coming to take your crown / Bow down / You know that I can do better, better / I don't need you to come in and show me how / Settle down / Cause you know that I can do better, better /

This song is mostly just the vibe for me. Quite…. unapologetic. Like the badass bitch vibe Yosano gives off, despite (or probably especially because of) her past.

💙 Nur mir (only to myself) by Elif 💙

Can’t believe what’s happening to me / Your words have manipulated me / I shouldn’t lose the connection to myself / Because otherwise your words will always stay with me / At first, you were there for me / But then you wanted me as your property […] / This city is big enough for the two of us / I have to share it with 4 million others anyway / I get onto the same train, stand on the same platform / Oh, everything’s profit (to you), everything’s yours /

But I only belong to myself, only to myself / Belong to myself, only to myself / Not to her, not to him, not to you /

💙 Disease by Hollywood Undead 💙

Our words are broken but they’re spoken aloud / So come together, come together again / The time is now, let Armageddon begin / They say beginnings always start with the ends / I say forever and forever, Amen /

Forget what you are / Forget what you feel / We stand apart but fall together / Nothing ever lasts forever /

We’re born to live, we’re born to die / We’re forced to swallow these pills and to never ask why / What I’ve become, why can’t you see / That everybody, everybody, everybody’s got this disease? /

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𝔼𝕕𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕨𝕒 ℝ𝕒𝕟𝕡𝕠

💙 The Wolf by SIAMÉS 💙

Each and every day / Hiding from the sunshine / Wandering in the shade / Not too old, not too young / Every night again / Dancing with the moonlight / Somewhere far away / I can hear your call […] / Ain’t no fairytale / What I see in your eyes / Awaiting your mistake / Not too close, not too far /

Honestly, finding a song for Ranpo somehow was harder than it should’ve been lmao Originally, this song is about addiction, but if you read them in the sense of it being about a criminal, whom Ranpo is about to catch, it makes more sense. I am sorry I can’t provide a better song for him right now djhfksjlhdfujhhgkfc

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𝕂𝕦𝕟𝕚𝕜𝕚𝕕𝕒 𝔻𝕠𝕡𝕡𝕠

💙 Fuck You by Silent Child 💙

Am I wasting my breath on you / Feels like my words are never getting through, yeah / I never said I hate you to someone so much before / I'm light headed when we talk and then you shut the door, god damn / Like what are we still talking for, yeah /

I really hope you don’t see tomorrow  / I tried to play nice with you / 'Cause all you ever do is try to fuck up my day / And you were successful / (But I know the truth) / No you don't have anything better to do / Everything you ever loved has tried to escape you / So why would I want anything to do with you /

Fuck you /

Don’t lie, he would blast this at full volume when Dazai fucks up his schedule again HAHAHA (I love their dynamic)

💙 Waiting by Zhavia Ward 💙

The truth is you don't even / Know what the hell you believe / But you should believe / Lions don't lose sleep / Over the opinions of sheep /

So if you're waitin' / To watch me fall / Watch me fall / Watch me fall / I'ma keep you waitin' / To watch me fall / Watch me fall / Watch me fall / I'ma keep you waitin' /

Empire State kinda view / And I'm up here with the crew / I got the feelin' that you wishin' / You could be up here too / Maybe I should feel bad for you / Be a little sentimental / But I don't, no I won't / Make excuses for you to hide behind /

This one makes me think of the time Fyodor tried to break him mentally by making that little girl sacrifice herself (Season 3), but he got back up pretty quickly again after having his ideals get shaken like that.

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𝔽𝕦𝕜𝕦𝕫𝕒𝕨𝕒 𝕐𝕦𝕜𝕚𝕔𝕙𝕚

💙 S.C.A.V.A. by Hollywood Undead 💙

Here's the massacre, a mausoleum fit for me / Lived a hundred years, a hundred years I didn't see / Gave all my hope away, isn't any left for me? / Bombs are splitting atoms, what can the future bring? / We can fill a million choirs and wait till children sing / We can walk a million miles and end up in the sea / And our lungs just keep filling and lying when we breathe / The world's filled with liars, liars like me / And I look at my child, it's finite, this feeling / Eyes blue like the sky, I see all of this meaning / I reach up to God and I ask if I'm dreaming […] /

Everybody says greetings and goodbyes / Everybody pays, no one knows the price / We know the price of sin, the sin of sacrifice / I know I'll sin again, but who can save me twice? / How much can we ask? You'll get the answer first / How much can we kneel with the air that chills the earth? / The air keeps getting colder, my knees keep hitting dirt / The innocent can cry without the guilty getting hurt / You ask who you love and you don't know, no, do you? / The spirit of God just passes right through you / You gave away heaven, handed right to you / And I can see it all, tell me, is it true? /

Fukuzawa is that anime character that’s visibly been through a lot of shit (and has done a lot of shit as well, even morally grey or black), which could be why he’s so stern and not a man of many words. Marked by life, if you will. He also gives off a very “wise man” kinda vibe right from the beginning, so I think that this song somewhat fits him because it is wondering about the state of the world and human nature.

💙 Courtesy Call by Thousand Foot Krutch 💙

This is your last warning / A courtesy call / I am not afraid / Of the storm that comes my way / When it hits it shakes me to the core / And makes me stronger than before / It’s not a question about trust / But will you stand with us? […] /

There’s a rumble in the floor / So get prepared for war / When it hits it’ll knock you to the ground / When it shakes up everything around / But survivial is a must / So will you stand with us? /  

This song just has that badass vibe. And no one can deny that Fukuzawa has a badass and intimidating vibe as well as he seems so stern and stoic most of the time.

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𝕋𝕒𝕟𝕚𝕫𝕒𝕜𝕚 𝕁𝕦𝕟𝕚𝕔𝕙𝕚𝕣𝕠𝕦

💙 Nesimtit by Mark Stam 💙

I don't have lots of cash / But enough for me to buy you an ice cream / For us to go on a walk / And for you to whisper to me in the waves of the ocean / I've taken some days from the border / And I put some behind the door, on ice / For cloudy weather / So that we can have them when the movie of life passes […] /

Let me be your lifeline / When your world is in the process of demolition / Let your dreams fly / I promise, we'll catch them somewhere around the sun /

Oddly enough, the Tanizaki siblings were just as hard for me as Ranpo… There aren’t really that many songs that would make me think of them. But this Romanian one made me (partly) think of him, I also think it’s cute and would probably fit him lol Especially the last four lines make me think of him and Naomi. After all, he’d even burn down the whole world if it was for her sake. All in all, this just sounds like him in the sense of a really supporting person/friend/brother.

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𝕋𝕒𝕟𝕚𝕫𝕒𝕜𝕚 ℕ𝕒𝕠𝕞𝕚

💙 You Should See Me In A Crown by Billie Eilish 💙

You say, "Come over, baby / I think you're pretty" / I'm okay, I'm not your baby / If you think I'm pretty /

You should see me in a crown / I'm gonna run this nothing town / Watch me make 'em bow / One by one by one / One by one by / You should see me in a crown / Your silence is my favorite sound / Watch me make 'em bow / One by one by one / One by one by one /

Naomi isn’t giving me the same “badass bitch” vibe as Yosano does, but she does have that “badass princess” vibe. Is that making any kind of sense? Like, she does not have an ability, but she is neither dumb nor completely helpless in all situations. So, there is a slight badass vibe, but not the “I can and I. W i l l . Kick your stupid. Bitch. Ass.” – so a…. “badass princess”? Because she also has that elegant aura about her. I hope I am making sense…?

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ℍ𝕒𝕣𝕦𝕟𝕠 𝕂𝕚𝕣𝕒𝕜𝕠

💙 2! 3! by BTS 💙

We know that you are happy right now / That you're slaying right now / You have all what you deserve / And we are so damn proud / But you're people, like us / You have spars, you get hurt / You get tired of the pressure / You get tired of the rush / God, thank you so much! / For giving us the chance / To tell you that we're here for you / And this will never change /

Lay on us / When dark times come and surround you / Our light will help you to get through / Our love is gonna heal you / Lay on us / The ones who would go to space to / Steal some stars just to give you 'cause it would make you feel good / We're gonna stay with you forever, until the end / We swear that we're not going anywhere / Yeah we're not going anywhere / We know the road can be so tough / But with holding hands / Together we take a nice deep breath /

Haruno strikes me as the kind of person, who’d be a really supportive friend, so I thought this might fit her. I have not seen much of her and her character neither in the anime nor in the manga yet, so I don’t really know whether this is any good or if it does her any justice.

On the other hand, I feel this song would also fit the Tanizaki siblings well.

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𝕄𝕚𝕪𝕒𝕫𝕒𝕨𝕒 𝕂𝕖𝕟𝕛𝕚

💙 Puste sie weg (blow them away) by Kontra K 💙

Love in the air – blow it away / 9mm on the chest – then blow it away / 3g on the mirror – better blow it away / And the wind will do the rest / Hate in the air – blow it away / Pressure on the chest again – then blow it away / Seven sins in my head – better blow it away / And the wind will do the rest […] /

Because everyone’s talking, talking, talking too much / But unfortunately never do it, do it, do it / And I don’t hate, hate, hate the player / But I’d rather kill a whole team by myself /

I’d rather have three, four warriors than one thousand “brothers” / I’d rather pick up cents from the ground than break bread with liars / I’d rather be broke like I used to be than be a part time dealer / I’d rather have a heart of gold than sharing with no one at all (no one) /

Hatred in the air – blow it away / Pressure on the chest again – then blow it away / Seven sins in my head – better blow it away / And the wind will do the rest /

Take the lyrics quite literally, “blow them away”. The feeling of this song fits him, I think, because of his sheer strength. He just blows away hatred, malice, etc. and is unaffected by any of it as his heart and his head stay innocent and pure, even if naive.

I have to say though, it can be a pun, especially the part of “9mm (gun) on the chest” would be most obvious for it (especially considering that the “on the chest” part does not specify in German whether it’s your own chest or you are holding a gun to someone’s else’s chest lol). In general “puste xy weg” means to blow it away with the air out of your mouth, but colloquially it can also mean gunning down something or someone. And if you apply that meaning to every single line with “blow it away”, the meaning turns around from not letting it bother you to killing it, which I find interesting with this character. (Because he definitely has great potential to actually kill someone with his ability alone.) Though what I thought when I heard this song was that it might fit him with the meaning of him letting nothing bother him.

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𝕀𝕫𝕦𝕞𝕚 𝕂𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕜𝕒

💙 Alaska by Elif 💙

Sometimes I’m thinking, I’m going insane like everyone else / They said I’d be going nuts and yeah, I’m starting to believe them / -7°C, I’m walking through the city park by myself / The down jacket is keeping me warm, but in my heart, there’s Alaska /

I don’t know what love is / No matter how much of it I get, I need more of it / It’s tearing me apart on the inside / When I, once again, don’t know where I’ll be getting it from / Even my therapist says, he doesn’t know any further / My dark side, it’s stronger than the good one / My youth was poisened, the future is uncertain / It is how it is yeah, it is how it is /

💙 Godsent by Smash Into Pieces 💙

I used to share, I used to care / The good in me is gone I'm bad / I used to give, I used to feel / The things you did will never heal / Take a look at me now / See what I've become / I will no longer feed the machine / Can't control the monster in me, no / The way that I feel / Makes it harder to breathe / When I'm thinking about you / The monster is real /

This makes me think of her in the Port Mafia.

💙 Boomerang by Smash Into Pieces 💙

I've been gone for a while now / But only to gain my power / I've been fighting my demons / And I'm back up on my feet (and now) / The harder you fall down / The stronger you come back later / Now I feel like an army / And I've only just begun /

This one in turn makes me think of her in the Agency.

💙 Circles (제자리) by G.Soul 💙

Oh, we know the ending / No matter how you escape / Here again / Always come back to me / Back again / Eventually / Here again / Why is it so hard to leave? / Here again / We always stay here […] / Answer me, I don’t know, no / Just don’t know / You’re getting stuck / Forever / Oh, we know the ending / No matter how you escape / Here again /

This makes me think of what Kouyou (I hope I am remembering her name correctly) was saying about her as a flower of darkness, as she was kind of turning in circles (no pun intended)–between wanting to be in the light and “accepting” that she only belongs into the darkness–at the beginning before she finally joined the Agency.

💙 Excuses (변명) by G.Soul 💙

I told you not to be too good to me / That it would make it too hard on you / No matter what you say now / I don’t hear a word of it […] / Even though I may be making a mistake / Even though I may regret this as time goes on / Baby, I think that we should just end it here now /

Even though the song in total has a different vibe (and story lmao), these parts of the lyrics makes me think of Kyouka telling Atsushi that there is no saving her, and that the light is no place for her (directly after saving her from the Port Mafia). It kinda makes me think of the part, specifically, where Atsushi suggests going on a “date” and at the end of it, Kyouka wants the last place they go to to be the police station.

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𝔻𝕒𝕫𝕒𝕚 & 𝔸𝕥𝕤𝕦𝕤𝕙𝕚

💙 Sing To Me by Missio 💙

Somehow I got nominated as a king of sadness / Got so much I know that I could even feed the birds / And that's why / I prayed, I prayed, God sent me right to voicemail / It's like, all day my vanity is for sale / Take it away, my head is in my own hell /

Sing to me, I am not doing well / Getting tired of my own words / Sing to me 'cause I can't hear myself / Through the loudness of my own hurts / Call me selfish when I say this, say this / I'm kinda helpless, and I need you / Sing to me 'cause I'm not doing well /

Somebody told me that there's two sides to this life / I think I might've chosen darkness over light /

These two are two sides of the same coin, but no side is brighter than the other. I feel like they are kind of mirroring each other in the way they feel about themselves, which is why these lyrics mirror both of them towards each other as both are in need of salvation as they’re drowning in their own minds. Dazai is just better at hiding it from Atsushi.

💙 Namae wo yobu yo (Call A Name) by Luck Life (Season 1 Ending) 💙

I was searching / For the reason I’m able to remain as myself / If there’s a version of me / That exists within your heart / That even amid the darkness on this long, hilly road / I feel I can become a new me / Able to make my way through / So that each of us, walking our individual moments, can keep on smiling / So that we can keep moving forward, exploring the meaning of life together / I’ll call out a name / Your name / So that you can remain who you are /

Technically, lyrically it’s the entirety of the song, but I will not write down all of it lmao And it’s the Atsushi and Dazai parallels here again. It’s not just the ending with the animation that shows it for me, but the lyrics reflect both of them in them as well. I absolutely loved this ending. I never ship characters as I do not care about that, but I really love these two (separately)~ (What they mean for each other aka what they might mean for each other in the future [peace of mind/finding worth for Atsushi, and a reason to live for Dazai, etc.], how they’re already helping each other [Dazai helping Atsushi with feeling worthless, and Dazai finding a bit of piece of mind], etc. etc. etc.) I haven’t loved 2 characters in an anime as much as this in quite a long time (The last time was Kougami and Akane in Psycho Pass) as I find making up characters as complex as them and make them fit together as well as them/make them complement each other/balance each other out is actually pretty hard to do really well.

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Making up this list took waaaaay longer than it should’ve. (I did not include Katai because I couldn’t think of a single song for him, sorry.)