#watch me log back in tomorrow god DAMMIT

[not-spiders]

no no no no i know i just made a sideblog but fuck this website i think i need to leave again urghhhhhhhhhhhh

[carelessannie]

maybe it goes like this: tony courts peter (part 2)

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven | Chapter Eight | Chapter Nine | Chapter Ten

Read on A03

Read the Stuckony backstory WIP

Starker focus (Tony x Peter), Winteriron (Tony x Bucky), with reference to Stucky, Stony and Stuckony

This is the “meet... awkward” for my AU, and takes place roughly 8 months before the first chapter. Enjoy!

Major warnings: D/S Au, A/B/O Au, OmegaSub!Peter, BetaDom!Tony, OmegaSwitch!Bucky, AlphaDom!Steve, Heavy Awkward Flirting, Cute Nicknames, Kinda Sexy Winteriron

Maybe it goes like this:  

8 Months Earlier

Peter is looking forward to seeing his Pack after class, definitely needing to cuddle up with Annie in their nest tonight. And maybe Clint will bring home pizza. It’s been a long-ass day.

Okay, definitely pizza.

From the front of the class, Peter can hear his professor introducing the guest lecturer, and he drags his backpack around to his seat to unlock his laptop and notebook. Just as he logs in and dates his notebook page, Peter looks up to see the most attractive man in New York walk through the door, smile to the class, and introduce himself.

Tony.

Tony Stark?

No Way. The Tony stark?

Peter's ears ring, and he swears he sinks three feet into the floor.

Mr. “just call me Tony” Stark is saying something about BioMolecular Engineering, about class credit, about new processes in the industry, about independent research opportunities, about the— wait.

Peter jerks in his seat, mouth ajar, as The Tony Stark lists benefits of working in his research lab for Stark Industries, a dream Peter has nursed since high school. He barely hears the rest of the presentation, focusing on closing his mouth and blinking, keeping hot Arousal out of his scent, adjusting himself in his pants—

“—and I’ll take questions up front if you have them, thanks."

There’s a round of lazy applause, as students start to pack up and file out, and Peter shakes himself, You have to talk to him. He scribbles a few questions on his notebook and throws everything into his backpack, floating across the classroom and to the back of the line.

When he finally steps up, both of them freeze. Peter restrains himself from scenting the older man right there in the classroom because hot damn .

Peter lets out a short gasp of “hellomynameisPeterParker,” thrusting his hand forward, and is pulled in for a firm handshake, Tony Stark looking into his eyes with a vaguely amused expression.

Peter lets go, reluctantly, and stutters out, “M-mr. Stark? I think I’d be interested in the semester research opportunity.”

“Of course, Peter Parker,” Tony turns and grabs a StarkPad, scrolling briefly before handing it over to Peter, “if you want to fill it out today, feel free. It’s an equal opportunity research grant, and provides a weekly stipend for the duration of the program.”

Mr. Stark continued with details, as Peter quickly puts his information in the application and presses “submit.” He peers up at the older man, Beta? Probably? Most of what he can scent is spice and fire– maybe cinnamon, or chai like Clint? It’s hard to tell without throwing his face into the man’s neck, and inhaling deep–

“Mr. Parker? Pete?”

Peter’s head shoots up, and he realizes he’s been still for too long without responding, and immediately goes to apologize, “Oh, I-i’m so sorry, Mr. Stark, I just… I finished the application? Shouldn’t I submit– or, sorry– send in a resume? Sorry.”

Mr. Stark keeps his expression schooled, but Peter can tell that he’s holding back a smile. Dammit Parker, way to nail the first impression. He shifts on his feet, biting his lip as Mr. Stark shakes his head slowly.

“No, it’s okay Peter. Our admin team will review the first round of applications by department, and send out an email link for further information, alright?” he gives into his smile, reaching out as if to... what, comfort Peter? But aborts the motion and crosses his arms, flexing slightly under his navy suit.

“Do you have any other questions, Peter?”

“No, n-no not right now, sorry, thank you Mr. Stark, sir. Um. Okay? I’ll see you later?” and Peter beats a hasty retreat out of the classroom, feeling his scent shift Embarrassed and hot tears prick his eyes.

Why does he always give a terrible first impression?

—

Tony stands, shocked in the empty classroom, schooling his scent and his breathing.

Thank you Mr. Stark, sir.

He collects his things in a haze, heading back to his pack and thinking about the gorgeous omega who just called his name.

Damn. His Alpha and Omega are gonna want to hear about this.

2 Weeks Later

Tony is straightening up the last few items in the R&D lab, hearing Pepper’s complaints of You need to care about your work space, Tony and You need to prepare a safe space for interns to work, Tony. And Pepper is right, of course, so Tony keeps cleaning.

He hears the doors swish open, and sighs, schooling his expression to neutral. He whirls around, raising his hands to defend himself against what he assumes is a new portion of nagging from Pepper, and instead–

The pretty omega from NYU.

What? “What are you–” Tony starts, watching as– Parker? Pete, Peter?– clutches a bag close to his chest, large doe eyes widening in shock and fear and… yup, there it is, FearShockEmbarassed Omega scent floods the lab as Peter takes a step backwards, lips opening and closing in shock.

“Hey, are you–”

“I’m so sorry, I–”

Tony shakes his head, stepping a little closer, “No, it’s okay, Peter? Right? From NYU?” with a nod in confirmation, Tony barrels ahead, “I thought you were– no, it doesn’t matter. Are you, are you here for the internship?”

“Y-yes, I’m sorry, they said to come at noon, but I thought I’d get here early and, god I can’t believe it, I’m so sorry, I’ll just wait– uh, wait outside?” Peter stutters through the explanation, lowering his eyes and backing towards the door to retreat into the hallway.

“No, like I said Peter, it’s okay, honestly,” Tony looks around quickly, trying to find a seat for the started young man, and yanks out the stool to his workbench, “here, sit down, please?”

There’s a moment of stillness as Peter looks between the stool and Tony, muttering something under his breath and setting his jaw in determination. Damn this boy is adorable, and Tony forces himself to keep a neutral expression as the om– the intern – walks across the room and sets down his backpack. Tony turns to the other side of the desk to give Peter some space, and clears the last of the notebooks into a nearby drawer.

He wants to start a conversation with Peter, fingers twitching in the unbearable silence, but is saved by the lab doors opening again, revealing Pepper leading five lost looking interns into the room. She leads so gracefully, he thinks, and feels his scent turn Fond and Proud for the Beta. Pepper sits each intern down, greeting Peter as well, and before he knows it, orientation and introduction are underway. The interns have their own work benches, and Pepper lets another supervisor take over the first day paperwork.

While the interns work in silence, Tony refuses to fixate on Peter, even though he takes to the research environment so beautifully. He's smart, he makes the funniest sarcastic quips when he thinks no one is listening, and he's kind of quiet, but always speaks up when he has a strong opinion.

Tony keeps his interactions unbiased among the other interns, mostly betas and one alpha, and is so relieved when the day ends and the students finally shuffle out of the lab. Peter ends up last to leave, staring at Tony and nervously licking his lips as he shoulders his bag. He seems to hesitate.

“Yeah, what’s up Pete?”

“Oh… no, right, see you tomorrow?” Peter shifts back and forth on his feet.

Tony smiles, “Of course, early bird,” and honestly can’t help his eye twitching, helplessly, in a wink.

Peter stutters out some type of goodbye, and flutters back through the door.

Tony blows out a breath, “JARVIS, call Bucky.”

—

“So what you’re tellin’ me is, you’ve somehow managed to find a smokin’ hot–”

“Beautiful,” Tony interrupts, “and compatible–”

“Right, smokin’ hot, compatible omega, and you… hire him?”

“I mean, technically I didn’t hire him personally–”

“Tony–”

“No, you know what, I get it. It’s my fault I can’t have him. But Bucky, I swear he’s so damn smart, and I can’t even let myself hope about his orientation,”

Bucky groans audibly over the line, but Tony protests again, “–because I swear he would submit so beautifully, Bucky, I can just see it. And remember how I said he called me sir?”

“How could I forg–”

“It’s all I can think about. I don’t wanna be overbearing, but I’m completely helpless around him and have no idea what to do. Bucky, I winked at him. Winked. And he ran away so fast.”

He can hear Bucky laughing at him over the line, that idiot, and Tony drops his head in his hands.

“Want my advice, sweetheart?” Bucky doesn’t wait for an answer before continuing, “I think you should take it slow and court ‘im. Sounds like it could be awhile before you can make anything official, and what is he, like eighteen?”

“... Twenty.”

“Okay, twenty. He probably isn’t looking for a permanent pack anyways, alright? Get to know ‘im at work, and as soon as you can, you should also put a stop to him seeing you as his boss,”

“Wait, but–”

“No, Tony. As much as it feels great for this little omega to call you ‘Mr. Stark’ and ‘Sir,’ if you want anything more with this guy, you have to work to even out the relationship a bit.”

Tony slumps down into a seat, sighing dramatically. Bucky goes silent as Tony processes what he’s saying. A thought occurs to him,

“Wait, is that how Steve got you?”

Bucky snorts, “Yeah, you know our Alpha’s ‘bout as subtle as a dump truck. His advice is gonna be, ‘sit the omega down, state your intentions to court him, communicate clearly,’ all that shit,” another laugh, this time fonder, “I’m just sayin’ to save that for later, okay? Take it slow.”

Heading towards the door, Tony signals for JARVIS to move the conversation to his phone as he heads home. He pops in an earpiece for the call, and makes sure Bucky is still on the line.

“Yeah, I’ll take your advice Bucky-bear. Hey, are you home?” Tony taps his foot as the elevator descends to the parking garage, feeling a familiar itch starting under his skin.

“Yeah I am, Steve’s out until later... why, what’s up?”

He gets out of the elevator, heading for his car, “I think all this talk of the perfect omega has me missing you. Wanna do something soft and dirty when I get home?”

Bucky hums, the sound sweet and tempting, even over the phone line, “Whaddya have in mind, my Beta?”

“Oh you know I love when you call me that,” Tony peels out onto the main road, heading towards their coastal property, their home, “I want you to contact Steve and ask him to pick up dinner, your choice. I’ll tell him what my plan is for you tonight, so he won’t be surprised. I’ll be there in thirty-five minutes and want you in the red room, ready to play, understood?”

Tony can hear Bucky breathing quicker over the phone as he responds, “Yes, Beta.”

“My good omega. And for now, let’s not tell our Alpha about Peter. Not unless it gets serious, okay?”

“Mmm okay, Tony. Hurry home,” and Bucky ends the call.

Tony steps on it.

[crazy-bi-btch]

Exploring ( Sweet Pea X Reader)

Summary: Sweet Pea and Y/n have a dirty secret that can lead to trouble.

Paring: Sweet Pea X Reader

Warning: NSFW, MA, smutttt like alottt, light BDSM

Word count: 5k

A/N: Okay  so this was a request from a long time ago and i like how it started so I want to make a second part to it! Hope yall like it!

-Present time-

“ We need to talk!” Cheryl grabbed my arm, pulling me into the nearest empty classroom. I flinched as she pressed on the fresh bruise. Her eyes widened, “ Take the jacket off!”

I sneered, “ Damn, Cheryl— don’t think Toni would like that.” She glared at me and I caved in. That's it. Our secret will be brought out by Ms. Cheryl blossom. I told Sweet Pea, not to leave a noticeable mark. But of course, this is Sweat Pea I’m talking about. Shit. I annoyingly took my serpent coat off and Cheryl’s eyes widened and a small gasp left the poor girl.

Now how the hell do I tell her that the serpent that is the most trouble in the gang is secretly fucking me behind everyone’s back.

“ Jesus! Y/n What the actual—” 

“ I can explain.” I rush over to her to coax her from making a big fuss. She was furious. I mean she’s the biggest feminist I know beside Betty and Veronica.

“ Did the ghoulies do this to you! WHO DID THIS! IS THIS THE BOY—” I clamped my hand over her loud ass mouth. 

“Shhh!” She mumbled under my mouth and rolled her eyes crossing her arms. 

“ No one beat me up! It’s this boy—”

“Is he hurting you because I can send some serpents, his way!” She practically stomped, her frown very visible. I sheepishly remembered every single bruise and mark and how they were made.

“ It’s...a sex...thing” I mumbled avoiding her glare, she clearly couldn’t hear me.

“Huh?” Her arms crossed and an annoyed face pressuring me to spill my truth.

“ God dammit Cheryl I’m having kinky sex..” I whisper-shouted, a blush invading me as I heard myself admit it. 

She looked like she was about to faint. “ That-” she pointed wide-eyed, I nodded, pulling the coat over my bruised arms. She turned around, rubbing her temples.

“ With who? And what the hell is wrong with you! It looks so-” I cocked my eyebrow at her

“Painful?” 

“ YES!” She exclaimed concerned, I giggled softly.

“ Don’t kink shame me Cheryl Blossom because I know damn well you and Toni go all 50 shades of gray.” She blushed but was ready to counterattack like always.

“ But I don’t bruise her— visibly!” She pointed out again, I sighed and hugged her.

“ Look, I know you’re concerned… but I’m fine... We have a safeword and it's fun!” I reassured her as she hugged back.

“ Okay… I trust you! But I don’t know about him. Who is he?” She asked, furrowing her eyebrows at me. I smirked at her. 

“ That’s a secret I’ll never tell..” I giggled and ran out the classroom, but not before hearing her classic  groan of annoyance.

-48 hours before-

Saturday. It was finally here! Your phone rang, waking you up from your deep slumber.

“Fuckkk…” I groaned, half asleep as I blindly looked for my annoying phone.” Hello.”

“Hey.” My stomach flipped and my eyes shot open. Sweet Pea.

“ Hey.” I smiled softly as his voice gave me the energy and brightness enough for the day. Then I realized, today is our ‘appointment’.

“ Just decided to call you and let you know I’m excited for today.” The smirk in his voice is practically oozing. I rolled my eyes playfully.

“ Oh really? What is so special today?” I acted coy with a hint of playfulness, his demeanor fell as his voice cracked. 

“ Don’t play with me y/n.” He hissed softly into the phone, it sent a shock straight to my core. I bit my lip. 

“ Sorry Pea...I can’t meet with you today. I have another meeting with someone else tonight.” I teased, laying back into my pillows like a cliche teenage girl in a teen-drama movie.

He groaned, clearly angry, “ Who the fuck….— In a minute Fangs! I swear to god y/n if your fucking someone else.”

“ Yeah I am….and he takes very good care of me… he’s my daddy..” I edged him even more, the game suddenly starting now. The small sigh and chuckle that he released gave my heart a kick. He was jealous.

“ He sure does huh?” He teased  his voice suddenly deeper and lower. “ I have a surprise for you tonight. More like a gift.” Then the background noise became more noticeable.

“ Oh really?” I questioned—suddenly curious,  he then changed the subject signaling Fangs and the others were around.

“ Yes, Doug, 6:00pm I know! You and your stupid stash. See you then.” Sweet Pea gloated with laughs of the boys echoing through,” You better pay up a little more than last time.” The last part was definitely for me. Then he hung up. 

I squealed in excitement as I tossed and turned in bed. It sucked being friends with benefits, in secret may I add. It’s extremely hard and exhausting, but we knew that. We both found that in sex we weren’t getting what we wanted. We weren’t fulfilled. So on a drunk night as we were the last up in the trailer as everyone else was passed out drunk. We played a stupid game.

Flashback

“ Never have I ever faked an orgasm.” Sweet Pea slurred, laughing at nothing, barely able to sit still. 

“ Shhh! Be quiet! Umm… Yes I have!” I stifled a giggle as my finger fell from the rest that were propped up.

“Ohh I want to know!” He teased taking another swing of his beer. I pretended to zip my mouth and throw the key making us laugh.

“ My turn, Never have I ever wanted to try something new in bed.” I giggled like a 13 year old as I slurred it out. Pea shrugged and put his finger down. I exaggerated a gasp pointing at his finger.

“ Sweet Pea is kinky!” I laughed but shushed myself.(Very drunk may I add) “ Me too!” I exclaimed. And we both fell silent as we both stared at our 3 fingers remaining up.

“Never Have I ever wanted to be tied up during sex.” His voice serious and dark. And I was suddenly quiet. 2 fingers were left.

“ Never have I ever wanted her to call me daddy.” I sighed out, praying for him to drop a finger. If not then that would be embarrassing. But his finger fell.

“Never Have I ever wanted to be choked.” His signature smirk came out as he realized his power over me now. I was left with one finger. I gulped.

“ Never Have I ever wanted to fuck my bestfriend.” I croaked out, both of our expressions falling. His finger fell. “ We’re tied.” I sighed as I stared at his lips. He gulped and put his hand down, ending the game. Our eyes say everything. We wanted this….bad. 

In an instant we both crawled toward each other meeting in a fiery kiss, breaking the innocent friendship we had and entering a whole new dimension. 

End flashback

We snuck around, doing all of our deepest fantasies. We were exploring our sexual fantasies. BDSM, nothing bad with that right? Except that it was ruining our friendships around us. We were lying to them. Making them believe we have suddenly become enemies. That we couldn’t stand each other in public, at times hurting each other's feelings.

My trailer was farther to the sides from our friends trailer which made it easy for Sweet Pea to come to me. Plus, I had to put soundproof padding in my trailer room, my excuse for when friends came over. “I’m working on my singing career from home.” They believed it. 

Boys were too afraid to hurt me, or not be hard enough. But Sweet Pea… He lived for that. We fit perfectly. 

I finally decided all that overthinking and reminiscing was not gonna keep me as excited. Unless, I looked for the old iphone in my drawer where we kept our...videos. We filmed moments but only on this old phone and it NEVER leaves my drawer. We vowed it was for us but mostly for me when things happen and we can’t meet up.

I logged into it, opening the photos and started looking through all the different videos. One was that one time on Valentine’s day when he got me a new toy. It was cute and simple, but the ribbon that tied the box was long enough for my wrist to tied together also. That night was rough, safeword was used once because he didn’t let me come for the 4th time! The way he degraded and fucked my on camera seemed to always trigger those vivid memories for moments like these.

Just as I was about to pull my pants down and ease my ache, my phone dang—cutting my mood. 

SP: Red or Blue?

That was a strange message.

Y/n: Red? Why

SP: you’ll find out ;)

Okay now this was gonna kill me! 

I went on with my day cleaning the trailer, taking a shower and shaving, taking my birth control (Sweet pea pays for it and also plan B for just-in-case moments) and finishing any homework I know I will not do tomorrow because I will be too sore to do. It was 4pm and I was feeling bored out of my mind. Usually he comes earlier so we can actually do friend stuff like hang out and watch a movie but today was different. I decided to change into a cute red lace set since he did ask what color I wanted. I did light makeup and curled my hair. 

“ Damn, I look fuckable ass fuck.” I commented as I saw my reflection. Some light green on my thighs from the previous week slowly fading. A quick idea popped into my head.It would piss him off, but it would be good to let him know. I took my phone and texted.

Y/n: Wyd?

SP: Doing some serpent stuff, missing me already?

I scoffed at his cocking response.

Y/N: Maybe… Anyone around you??

SP: No...I’m in the truck waiting for them? Why?

 I jumped up in excitement and positioned myself by the mirror in the perfect angle to get a glance at everything pretty much. He’s gonna be furious… but I won’t mind. I made sure to send them quickly. Sitting down in anticipation.

Sweet Pea stared at his phone after not getting a response, it made him a little suspicious and antsy for the boys to hurry from the daily drop off service. But when he saw two pictures pop out, his vein by his temple was practically about to pop. She knew the risks. What if he wasn’t alone? They would have seen! And bam no more sex. He locked his phone and honked 4 times and the boys came running out ready to leave.

“ Yoooo Sweet’s what's the rush!” Fangs and the other laughed, he sternly glared at them.

“ I got shit to handle so can we go!” Fangs nodded but stifled a laugh as they drove away.

He didn’t respond! What the hell. He may be too busy. I decided to wear an oversized shirt and walk to the living room where I watched Friends pass the time. Then my phone rang. It was Sweet Pea.

SP: You're in trouble.

My heart raced, I got up and ran to the room making sure to get everything out, lube, handcuffs, ribbon. I sat on the bed leg shaking slightly. Then I heard the familiar steps that led up to my trailer door. His spare key twisted into the lock. Just in time. The butterflies in my stomach flutter all the way down to my thighs and core. He came in taking his boots and coat off. His footsteps coming towards the room. And I froze putting the best puppy eye dog eyes that would not save me. His face was serious, leaning against the doorframe, his arms crossed. 

“ Hi.” I sheepishly spoke. I took a deep breath.

“ You know what you did was risky, right?” He barked, I got up making my way towards him, but he backed up slightly. 

“ I’m sorry.. I thought since you said you were alone...I missed you.” I crossed my arms defeated and looked down at the floor. Maybe what I did was out of line. Fuck this isn’t a relationship where you can send nudes Y/n! These were dick appointments, that's it!

I sighed defeated, “ If you wanna reschedule that’s fine… It was out of line—” I turned away from him only to be yanked up against him.

 His hot breath fanning against mine, a bruising hold on both my arms.” Why would I pass up the opportunity to punish you.” Just like that, I was putty in his hands. Like always. He made sure to forcefully take the oversized shirt off throwing it somewhere, to reveal what the photos told him. He watched as I stood flustered, shocked, and blush red. His hot gaze is enough to get me going. He sat at the edge of my bed and pulled out a small box from his leather jacket. It was black. He signed for me to get closer so I did. I towered over him slightly as he handed the box a smirk on his face. I eyed the box suspiciously.

“ Open it.” He urged so I did. My mouth fell open slightly. It was a red butt plug. What the fuck. I looked at him dead in the eyes.

“ I know you said you weren’t ready for anal...but I thought this would help ease us in. Literally.” he chuckled darkly. I was speechless. It was hot, and uncomfortable to think that it would end up...there. I sighed shakily. He caught on to my nervousness.

“ Remember at any time you can stop me.” He reassured, making me smile softly. Besides the sex, he always was my friend never pushing me to do anything I didn’t want. I nodded and took it and placed it by the nightstand where the lube and other stuff were. I walked back easing my way to straddle his lap and take his leather jacket off. Our gaze is soft and friendly for now.

“ I’m sorry again you know.” I sighed my hands working on any knots in his shoulders, his eyes fluttered shut as he relaxed under her. Deep down Sweet pea would be a sub for her if it meant it started with massages. 

“ It's fine.” He sighed, seeing him vulnerable for a brief moment made me ache and even more wet than I was. I pushed my body fully up against his, arms draping around his neck. His eye opened to meet my dark ones. My hips grounded down on him, “ I’m ready.” I sighed, that was enough for Pea to grab her hips forcefully gripping them down to make her feel the hard-on she caused. 

“ You made me hard in the fucking truck,” He made one of his arm free to hold her chin forcefully to make her stare at him while he spoke. Y/N yelled softly as she tried to keep her eyes from rolling back as he rutted his hips towards her. “ I couldn’t get out of the truck, I had to drop them off.” 

“ That was the plan daddy.” I moaned, making him growl in frustration. He pushed me off him, hand in my hair as he yanked me to the mirror where I took the pictures. It was a long full body mirror by my bed. His body flush against my back, one arm still in my hair and the other racking his ringed up fingers against my skin. 

“ You’re gonna look at yourself, and learn why you don’t tease me.” His lips on my neck as his finger roughly yanks the lace bra cup down, making me squeal. The electric feeling as his cold finger massaged my breast made me dizzy.

“ Pea…” I sighed rolling my eyes back, head limp against his shoulder. His grip on my hair wakes me from my bliss.

“ Look!” He barked, making my goosebumps jump out, his neck went back to work. His arm slowly going back but skimming down to where I needed him the most. I knew he wasn’t going to give it to me that easy. “ Please...Daddy” I whimpered as he barely grazed the skin on my thighs. He bit harder on my neck as he pushed his leg between my thighs, hand dipping into my core. I let out a shaky gasp as he went straight for my clit.

“Fuck.” I gasped watching as his fingers teasingly moved circles around it. My hand reached to cover his for support, for once he didn’t intervene.  And the other reached to his hard on that was covered but prominent against me. Pea couldn’t help but let her touch him, he watched as her hooded eyes watched as he slowly touched her. But the moment her hand gripped his hand he yanked it away and tsked her. He walked away from her taking his shirt off.

I stood stunned and breathless, the ache only growing by the minute. I turned around and followed him by removing the rest of the bra. And pried at his muscular back. Kissing it softly wrapping my arms around him.

“ You just don’t know when to keep your hands to yourself now.” The ribbon in his hands as he turned around. Fuck. With one shove I was on the bed with Pea crawling up to tie my wrists together above my head. 

“ C’mon Pea…” I whined as my hips bucked towards him for any friction, fuck was it painful. He smirked down at me.

“ You  know that's not how it works right?” I groaned in annoyance. His face came down close to hers as his hands wrapped around her thighs and as pulling her flush against him again. 

“ Pea kiss me or so help me—” His mouth was instantly on mine, nothing fluff about it. open , hot kisses as my hips wildly looked for him. His hand suddenly smacked my ass leaving a deep red print.

“ Shit-” I cried against him, his mouth moving against my jaw, his tongue leaving a hot trail down to the valley of my bare breasts. I resisted against the restraints as his ringed fingers and mouth attacked my breast.

“ Your squirming even before I touch you, you're so needy.” He laughed against my skin. I blushed madly arching my back towards him.” Answer.” He hissed, as his hand rubbed hard and rough circles against my clit. I bit my lip trying to talk.

“ Yes..ugh...Daddy..fuckkk” I moaned loudly as his pattern quickened and his finger flicked my nipple. The overstimulation nearly brought me to the edge, he watched me from above how breathlessly I squirmed, threw my head back and clamped my thighs around him. Just as I felt the brink, he pulled away. I whimpered out in pain, feeling empty again. Sweet Pea made sure to leave any mark all over her body avoiding her whimpers and cries for his actions. His fingers plunging into her abruptly, at a vicious pace that made her scream. He made sure to stare right at her as she exchanged glances to his actions and his wicked smile. “ You want hard, rough? That’s what you want right?” he spat gritting his teeth as he felt her wall clench and contract against his fingers.

“ Oh my goddd…. YES!” I screamed staring deep into his evil eyes, “ Daddy harder please!” My head thrashing back as I felt my legs convulse and shake. I wanted to come so bad, and the wet sounds that came out of me were not helping. My fingers were placed on the covers as they remain tied up above me. “ Not yet.” He whispered softly against the shell of my ear as he stopped again. I shivered as my body tried to recover from another withdrawal, eyes shut in pain as my clit throbbed from lack of release.” Please….Please.” Tears at the brim of my eyes, searching into his for a little bit of mercy. He only ignored me and turned me around chest into the mattress and ass up. The lube coming in contact with my asshole sending a jolt up my spine. At this point anything that would give me some pleasure was acceptable. Pea made sure to adjust my wrist and tie them again against my back, and my face on the mattress. He then kissed my head as the tip of the plug made contact with me. I hissed softly as he slowly pushed it in. Surprisingly, It wasn’t as bad as I thought. 

I sighed as I felt somewhat full as it sat in me. “ Damn baby.” He mumbled, I could practically picture his face. All flustered and vulnerable at her position and gleaming core. 

Not long after his hands held my tied arms in a tight grip as he grinned against me.” mhm.’” one hand constantly smacking my ass till my buttcheek felt numb. I really won’t be able to sit tomorrow. “ You're such a slut begging for me… for this… Can’t even wait till I get home.” He seethed as his rough jeans rubbed perfectly against me and the plug. 

I moaned loudly, “ Pea fuck me please! Anything I promise you anything but fuck me please!” I yelled in frustration as I tried wiggling my hips to get any extra friction. He grunted in defeat and practically sighed in relief as I heard his belt unbuckled and the bed suddenly becoming light behind me. I tried looking around to see him, but only his hand made sure to push me further into the mattress. “ You wanted this, so take it!” He roughly shoved himself into me with no warning, a loud gasp ripping through me followed by a choked moan. His size always felt like the first time, painful and blissful at the same time. “ FUCK!” Pea moaned as he steadied his hips as he made sure to feel that moment, being deep in her, ass up, red ribbon around her wrists like a present, shit it was perfect. He pulled out and back in bruisingly fast, hands back on her arms.

“ Shit shit shit!” I screamed out my eyes shut as he hit the right spot constantly but grazed the plug as he pulled out.

“ You look….so gorgeous right now fuck.” He grunted as Pea focused on not coming anytime soon but rather feeling every inch tighten around him. Just for him. Only making his grip on her arms terribly harder. The pain and pleasure as he bruisingly fucked her from behind only made her squeeze her eyes shut, her mouth wide as she felt the familiar knot about to explode. 

“ I’m going to cum! Holy shit please Pea let me cum pleaseee!” I begged as Pea made sure to rub hard and fast fingers against her clit. 

“ Come on baby, take it, squirt for me baby.” The profanities and the way his voice and body worked around her did just what he asked.

“ Shit shit shit!” I cried out as my legs shook and fluid leaked out around Pea’s finger.

“Fuck.” He growled and made sure to keep fucking her through her orgams, nearing her to the next one. 

I screeched softly and huffed as he kept his bruising pace, “ Pea oh my gawd Don’t stop! Fuck me!” Sweet Pea practically came then and their but pulled out to control himself. 

“ No, NO!” I cried as my wrist withered to pull him back. Pea shakily sighed, stroking himself softly. He watched as she squirmed and whimpered trying to be set loose. He untied her wrist sending a buzzing feeling of excitement through her as she propped herself only for a second. Pea made sure to pull her around by her hair. “ You really are prettier all tied up, huh.” He teased. 

I widened my eyes, “ No! Not again!” I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him into a kiss and flush against my hot skin. The feeling of his skin against her finger pads was heavenly. It was rare to be able to touch him, and when he let her, she loved it. Her mouth on his hungrily as her hips bucked against his hard on. Pea grunted against her mouth, his hands moving from her breast where he quickly pulled on her red nipples and down to her bruised hips. “ You won’t be able to walk for a week baby girl.” He whispered as he teasingly rubbed against my swollen nerve. A weak moan only for a response. He slipped in easily and then faster, digging his mouth onto my neck as I scratched his shoulders. “ Ohhh, Yes….Mmmm” I moaned wrapping my legs around his waist as he pounded so hard into me, practically into the mattress. 

Pea made sure to come up to see her face as she practically cried at her second painful release. Seeing her silently watch in awe as her eyes rolled back, it brought him to the edge.

“ Come on cum with me, Come on!” Pea yelled his chin forcing her to look at his furious face, only adding to her orgasm. Pea made sure to keep his pace as she yelled his name and tears ripped through her as she threw her head back. As she saw white, Pea went balls deep and stayed in as he came in her, his groans and moans muffled into her neck. She made sure that with the little bit of energy to wrap her fingers into his damp hair, easing him down from his own high. Pea made sure to pin her arms away from him, scaring her slightly at his abrupt move.

“ I’m not done with you.” He made his way down to her core, instantly going to her almost numb and in pain clit. 

I hissed as his lips and tongue wrapped around me. I didn’t have the strength to cum again, I almost wanted to call the safe word just for my sake to rest but the way Sweet Pea looked up at her, in between her thighs. Pea knew exactly how to make her cum and he wanted to see her cum underneath him all over again. “ Shit...Fuck.” My hands grabbed handfuls of the sheets as I rocked my hips against his hot mouth and tongue. 

To make matters worse, he purposely groaned and hummed against me, I never felt like cuming so fast in the times being with Pea. Each time he knew her better enough to get her on edge in seconds. His hand made sure to hold down painfully hard on her hips as she chanted his name.

“ Yes...Yes yes yes!” I back arched and watched in awe as his tongue did wonders, followed by his thumb that flicked and rubbed so hard I lost track of time. Pain ripped through my abdomen to my core, ready for a painful orgasm. It was so much. “ Pea! I can’t I-” I cried and sure enough my body cracked under him, fluid squirting out as tears fell out and high pitched moans echoed into the room. Pea pulled himself up to watch her tears stained cheeks, suddenly nervous it was too much. “Hey, Are you okay?” His soft voice made me crane my neck back to see his worried face, with a wet face may I add. I smiled weakly and wiped his cheek with my thumb. “ You are unbelievable Sweet Pea.” He smirked laying next to her as they both sighed. 

I was exhausted not wanting to move or speak. Just stare at the ceiling and acknowledge how great her body felt, for now. 

“ Wait I have to take something—” His hand pulling my ass to the side, “ Relax, I don’t wanna hurt you.” I scoffed but was cut short by the feeling of the plug coming out. I hissed softly and turned back around on my back.

“ I should get you a bath running before I leave.” Pea said as he kissed my semi wet cheek and got up to find his clothes. I watched as he pulled on his underwear and jeans and disappeared into the bathroom. I was smiling. At him. Here I was catching feelings over something we told ourselves was nothing serious. I pushed myself up to distract myself only to be extremely sore. I tried propping myself up to walk to the bathroom only to fall on my knees in pain. He really fucked me till I couldn't walk. I burst out laughing making Sweet Pea walk back into the room extremely confused. 

“ Come help me up weirdo!” He went over to pick her up but just ended up carrying her bridal style. He laughed as she groaned but laughed also. 

This was nice, their company and well the sex also. Sweet knew that it was temporary and he reminded himself that everyday. Deep down he was a romantic, and he knew his soulmate was out there. But for now he just wanted to explore himself a little more and who else to help than his best friend. He hated leaving her after, something in him told him to stay, but he was enough of a gentleman to know that staying would only send mixed signals and ruin everything. So he stuck to the plan.

“ Well, I’m gonna head out, and I’m sorry if I went overboard—” Pea flinched as he saw the bruises show up around my arms and legs, the water instantly healing some pain. I sighed sinking deeper into the tub. Pea kneeled next to me, waiting for some goodbye gesture. I looked at him smiling, “ It was great, plus I'll be fine...but,” I held his hand that rested on the side of the tub. “ Can you stay...to hang out?” I watched his reaction change from content to flustered. It’s insane that friendship intimacy was weird to us but seeing each other naked wasn’t. 

He coughed and looked at his clock, “ I don’t know—”

I patted his hand, “ Pea it’s fine, it was just and offer.” I casually played it off, waiting for his response even though it did hurt to see him turn me down. He stood up and sighed in defeat. “ How about this. I have to do some stuff to do with fangs for a night delivery, and if everything goes smoothly...I’ll crash with you.” He looked down at my surprised face. He chuckled at my silent response.

 “ Oh- Yeah sure! Sounds good.” I cooly said somehow suddenly interested in the bath water. 

“ Alright see you later!” I said before leaving entirely with the sound of the door closing, I sat in the water somehow happy but nervous that he easily accepted my offer. I giggled to myself, but was cut short by my sore body.

“ Fuck, this is more painful than my Serpent initiation trial.” I mumbled softly. 

Somehow I managed to get out of the bath, with wobbly legs, and into my soft pj pants and tank top. It was 8 pm, my eyes sleepy and my body tired. I laid in the wrinkled up bed, forgetting that someone would be coming back. 

[persoaprilo]

"Chloe was here"

Summary: Blackwell ran out of lights, there's a pitchy black darkness in dorms. Max returns to her room by touch, completely NOT expecting the thing (or the person) in hall...

(So yeah, this is translation of my fic from Russian to English, I wrote it couple of months ago. I tried to translate it before but now I finally did this, yeah)

(Yeah I promised to post it tomorrow but fuck that I wanna share dis fic with anyone here)

"Oh shit, I'm late!" Max exclaimed, throwing belt of her messenger bag onto her shoulder.

She glanced at her watches: 9:58 AM. She was late to the world history class, mostly because of little fight with Chloe, after which she spent half of night calling her by phone and wanting to ask how she was doing. But that was just a waste of time — maybe Price ignored her attempts to talk or she didn't hear her ringtone, but there were no answered call.

Max turned around and looked through her room to make sure she got all she need for her classes. Her glance caught an empty place between the polaroid shots on her 'Max Caulfield's Photo Memorial Wall'. This empty place annoyed her, but she couldn't actually do anything — these four photos were stolen by some asshole and it looks like he wasn't going to return them.

"Gotta look through my recent photos, maybe I'll find something to place there."

Max hurried outside her dorm room to run to the academy, full of hope that her teacher would let her in even if she's a little bit late.

***

"What the fuck?" Max grunted with little anger in her tone, opening the door to the dorm's hall.

All the hall was full of pitchy black darkness. Surely there were some rooms with pale light of phone flashlights, but Max wasn't sure someone would let her borrow one for a while. Her own phone now had only two percents of charge — who knew that this new mobile RPG game Warren told her about spend this much charge?

With a loud sigh, Max set her phone on a power saving mode and opened flashlight app, which went out at the same moment. Her phone showed an empty battery on it's screen and then went out as well.

"Are you cereal?!" said the brunette, shoving her phone back to the pocket.

She moved her hand around, trying to find the wall on her right. After she found it she hummed victoriously and started to walk, taking short steps to her room. Light of other girls' flashlights, bursting from their rooms, helped her to navigate. After minute or so she pulled the door knob, heading inside her room.

Her apartment was in darkness as well, except the pale moon light, pouring its silver shines onto Lisa the plant and to her desk.

'Great. Feel like a fucking mole.'

Max placed her hands onto the door frame, trying to get used to the darkness. She heard quiet noise behind and the next moment she struggled, trying to break out of someone's hands. These hands with a bit awkward moves tied soft ribbon around her wrists. All of that happened so fast, Max couldn't even concentrate and react to anything, but when she was going to scream to call someone for help — the mysterious guest placed an index finger to her lips and shushed her.

"Who are you?" asked Max quietly with annoyance in her voice, twitching in attempts to pull out her hand and rewind, or at least turn around.

The stranger didn't say anything, getting up from her back. Suddenly Caulfield felt stranger's hands on her shoulders, pulling her up and at the same time pressing her ass to the closed door. Skillful pair of hands removed her bag and brunette prayed in hope that the guest won't throw it onto the floor. But she didn't hear any loud sound so she sighed with relief when she heard quiet noise on her nightstand.

"Goddammit Dana, if you and Juliet decided to prank me, I swear to Dog — both of your asses are grass," Max grunted and she was about to continue her speech but sudden touch to her neck made her bite her tongue.

'Is he going to choke me?' she thought, gulping nervously.

She expected stranger to squeeze her throat, cutting her access to oxygen, but to her surprise, touches were soft and gentle. Someone's rough fingers ran behind her ear and tangled in her messy chocolate hair. Hot breath started to burn her cheeks, and judging by how unsteady it was, it looked like stranger was quite nervous.

Bold touch of unknown (are they actually unknown?) lips to hers caused a sudden warm wave washing over her heart and down her body to stomach, tying into a tight knot, replacing warmth with burning fever. Stranger's hands pulled her from the door to the body. Max felt guest's breasts poking to her solar plexus and guessed that this guest was a girl. She hadn't much time to guess who it was, and in addition touches caressing her body didn't let Max to concentrate.

Cold palms slowly traced down her sides to the hem of her t-shirt and sneaked under, burning hot skin with cold fingers and making an amazing temperature contrast which caused a moan from Max right into the guest's lips. Sharp teeth left a bite on a soft skin, pulling a broken sigh from brunette, and mixing this bite with the strong hands tightly wrapped around her fragile body and tracing circles on her back, this moan came with another loop on the burning knot inside her, making her feel the pleasure.

Max startled when stranger pushed her on her bed. Falling onto tied hands was a bit painful, but she was ready to endure. All she wanted is to feel those hot lips on her own again, to feel rough fingers on her skin, gently caressing her body under this fucking t-shirt. God dammit, some stranger broke into her dorm room and now making out with her and she like that, she even hadn't much power to resist — her own body surrendered for the gentle caress.

Cheeks which had a bright red blush burned again with unsteady breath. Caulfield moved her head forward, searching for alluring lips for another kiss, but she sighed sharply when whe felt scratchy fingertips diving under her t-shirt, tickling her ribs and sharp teeth carefully biting the skin on her neck. Love bite hurted a little, but this pain was pleasant and even wanted much, so Max started to expose her neck for short but so gentle kisses. On these places tomorrow probably will be bruises — evidence of 'passionate' night.

Already warm palms ran from the ribs to the waist, causing another shaky sigh from Max. Hot lips sent impulses across the whole body with one single touch to the soft skin of brunette's neck and Max sweared in mind because of pilability of her body and dumbness of the stranger — if she didn't tie her hands, Max wouldn't just lay there like a wriggling log, not being able to do anything in response. Instead, she would bury her hands into the hair which tickled her collarbone, pulling her lover as close as possible, stroking in response, or at least pull off her fucking t-shirt, which ruined all pleasure from light touches.

Suddenly she heard someone's whistle from outside. Stranger whispered quiet 'fuck' and headed to the window, but then she stopped in her tracks. Max's cheek burned from hot breath again, but only for a second. The guest gifted her with hurried last kiss, which almost made tied Max jump to the ceiling because of this quite passionate smooch. It caused another burning wave of pleasure, washing down from heart to the stomach and starting a fire of lust and desire inside.

Nex moment she felt the ribbon loosen from her hands, but she didn't have much time to hold the guest onto... anything — stranger gently pushed her back to the bed, probably not wanting to get caught right there. A flexible shadow appeared on a windowsill, giving a short (and familiar) chuckle before she disappeared.

Breathing heavily, Caulfield managed to get up and rush to the window, trying to find any familiar things in girl's sihlouette, blinking in attempts to wipe out a mild shroud from her eyes, but it was in vain — darkness of the night didn't let her to recognize the guest's identity.

Then suddenly street lights flashed, and Max winced, covering her eyes with hand. The quad was full of light now, but there weren't any signs of intelligent life or passionate lover girls.

Letting out a disappointed sigh, Max touched her bitten lips and smiled shyly. Brunette turned around and made her way to the switch, which now was visible thanks to street lights, and turned on her room's lights, inspecting her room to make sure everything in her room was on it's places. And it was. Her bag with her camera which che was worried about rested on her nightstand, and Max walked to it. She fished out four new photos, which she wanted to place onto the empty place on her wall. But looking up to her 'memorial wall', Caulfield lifted her eyebrows in surprise, not able to believe her eyes, but then she smiled shyly again and put her phone on a charge so it could turn on as fast as possible.

From the creme yellow wall, almost full of different photos, she saw three words, casually written by marker:

Chloe was here

[yejiroh]

Hello!

Heya! So i really really really like your works, so id like to request Tamaki x Reader, where his S/O is very good at like gaming?

She usually plays minecraft and fps games and shes extremely good at it. I’d really like a scenario where they play Valorant, a tactical shooting game just like overwatch and csgo, like usually tamaki plays with like mirio and some of his friends and one of them was busy so mirio decided to invite her to play and ends up carrying the team with an ace or two.      (P.s I dont usually request because i fear that i dont follow the rules properly, but i love love ur works :)  Happy New Year ! )

***

Authors note:

@plutostones​ Hi, how are ya? I just found this, so sorry for the wait. Also, I tagged you because you put this in as a submission, not an ask, so I didn’t know whether or not you’d get the memo. Anyways, thank you for requesting, and thank you for being a fan of my work-it means a lot.  I don’t play Valorant but from what your describing it sounds like Blitzbergade- which i do play. Sorry in adavance if this is not how the game goes, but i did do some research.

And to everyone wanting to request, the requests are open; just read the rules!

Because this was so late, I made it long.  

Suns Out Guns Out!

-PLATONIC- (kinda)

Word count: 2000+

Staring Tamaki Amajiki, Mirio Togata, Nejire Hado, and of course, the lovely Y/n L/n!

***

Three monitors glared at Tamaki, the LED screens too bright for his poorly lit room. Discord, Twitch, and Valorant displayed, his fingers smashing the keyboard loudly, the familiar “clack, clack,clack” ringing in his ears.

It was routine, everyday after school, the five of them: Tamaki, Mirio, Nejire, Yuuyu, and Kirishima would open Valorant, Discord, and Twitch.

“Ah, dammit! Not again!”

“Mirio, calm down; it’s just a game.”

“I just can’t help but to get riled up- sorry.”

“Why are you so mad anyway?”

“This guy- Flippy2252- he keeps killing me every time I get back! And the worst part is, they never run! They just walk in and shoot everyone!”

Tamaki took off his headset, throwing it to the side. Mirio was never one to whine about losing, but having a 22-0  losing streak was pretty rough on anyone’s ego.  Looking at the left monitor, Twitch was going crazy. The live chat was full of onlookers and the 10 players were all at war, angry at Flippy2252 for not letting anyone else get a kill, or Flippy2252 killing people every time with no hesitation.

It was always Flippy2252.

All it took to beat Flippy was an upgrade of armour, right? But neither he, Mirio, Kirshima, nor Nejire had enough credits or was willing to get such an upgrade. They were fine as is. Yuuyu was fine to. Kind of. 

Sighing, Tamaki put the headset back on, holding the attached mic. “Mirio, where’d you go? I knew this game was  hard...let's just call it a night- we have a test tomorrow and the event.”

“Guys, about that, I can’t play tomorrow- I have a cousin coming over .”

Whining, Nejire’s voice piped through the headphones. “Really Kirishima? But tomorrow is what counts!” 

“I know, it’s not manly of me, and I’m sorry guys! But Bakubro said-”

“Bakugou? You’re leaving for your boyfriend, not your family!”

“What? No, He’s NOT my boyfriend! And my cousin IS coming over!”

“Wooow Kiri, I expect this from everyone but you!”

Tamaki looked at the screen, tuning his friends out. The match was over. They had lost.

Again.

***

Rushing up the stairs of the U.A. building, Tamaki and Mirio panted, having overslept and missing the train.

“Wooh! That was a good way to wake yourself up, right, Tamaki?”

“I-I guess. I’m tired now. We should have just not come since we’re this late.”

“Nonsense! We made it on time- hey there’s Y/n!”

Mirio waved a hand out to the person in question, calling out to her.

‘Hey, Y/n! You ready for the test?”

Y/n turned over, making quick eye contact with Tamaki before he covered his face. 

Looking back to Mirio, she gave a sweet smile, putting a fist in the air.

“I actually studied for this one, so heck yeah!” “Good to hear! Hopefully we all get good marks this time, yeah?”

Y/n nodded, looking at her phone-

“Is that a Valorant background?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah! I love that game!”

Mirio smiled. “What a coincidence-”he nudged Tamaki-”We do to! Say, are you any good?”

Y/n chuckled, waving her phone around.”I’d like to say I’m pre-tay good. What about you guys?”

“Well, we’re amazing, don’t get me wrong, there’s just always this one guy who just comes in, kills everyone, and leaves. You can’t even respawn in peace!”

Y/n’s chuckles turned into hollers, knowing exactly who they were talking about.  “Oh god- you mean that Flippy dude? They’re awseome!”

“Yeah, but they don’t give mercy for anything!”

“You’re not supposed to, it’s a gun game. Tell you what, give me your discords and I’ll help you guys. I’ve gotten a couple kills against the dude.”

Was this a blessing? They were just looking for someone! Mirio tooked Y/n’s hand, bowing down, and pretended to wipe a tear away. “M’lady, it would be an honor, for our time in war-”

“We were just looking for another player cause one of ours bailed.” Tamaki muttered, interuppting the poetic Mirio.

Clapping her hands, Y/n smiled again. “Great! Just put your tags in my phone and we can do the event today! Also, good luck on the tests!”

***

Y/n sat down, her computer moniters clocks all set to count the second. Hand on the mouse, she breathed in, watching, waiting.

5...4...3...2...1- She slammed the keys, logging into everything at once. A beep form one; a Discord call. 

“Hey Y/n! You ready?”

“Yeah. Who else is on the team, other then you and Tamaki?”

“Nejire and Yuuyuu.”

She looked at the moiters, nodding. Okay. There’s 10 seconds into the game, okay? We have 3 hours, 45 minutes, and now...37 seconds until the event is done. We split the prize between who got the most kills or who did the most.”

“Okay.”

Just before she ended the call, Y/n quickly added. 

“And I’m Flippy2252.”

***

Tamaki spit his drink. Y/n was Flippy? No way! Slamming the keys, his avatar ran around the map. Now that he didn’t have to worry about Flippy killing him, he could actuallydo something! 

But the event was Capture The Flag, and he wasn’t too good at that. Running up a ramp, he spotted a red name, quickly shooting. But his sniper was no good.  Flippy-no, Y/n- ran up behind him, gunning down the red in her path. Soon she had the flag, and was running away.

“WOOOAHHH!” Mirio hollered through the headset. “I suddenly feel useless in a good way!”

What the heck?

“Mirio, that doesn’t make sense.”

“Weirdo.”

“This  game is as good as ours!”

Tamaki looked at the Twitch Moniter, smiling.

‘Since when was Flippy on team blue?’

‘Who cares? They’re still kicking ass!’

‘If they’re not on red it’s not even worth watching.’

‘Shut yo bitch ass up, like the fuck you gon do? Its a game the fuck?’

‘Really? Language guys. they can read everything.’

‘they too  focused on the game’

‘FLIPPY IS SO HOT WOOF WOOF BARK BARK AWWOOOGA’

‘Bro chilll you just lke their avatar’

People are weird. Walking into a building, he layed his avatar down. Just one more kill and they’d win the first round, and an Ace at that. 

***

1 minute left in the event, and Y/n still had the flag.

Tamaki followed, gunning down everyone chassing them and shooting at them. 

Capture the flag had never been so chaotic.

10 seconds in, they just had to get to their home base.

“Run Flippy run!”

5

4

3

2

1

A large VICTORY was displayed on theor teams screens, Y/n shreiking with laughter.

“That was so insane!”

“We actually won an event? FINALLY!”

Everyone was sreaming through the headsets, and once again Tamaki took it off, throwing it to the side.

Laying on his bed, he opened his phone, lookjng at a picture of Y/n.

She carried the team, and it was amazing to have won something again. 

[slash-em-up]

A Second Chance: A Logger Fic

Ben gets a second chance to make a life for himself.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

1951

Ben grimaced at his shabby reflection in the store window.

Despite his best efforts to clean himself up in the river earlier today he still looked more like a bear than a man.

His beard was patchy and uneven; having been cut with a knife and the reflection of his small hand-mirror instead of a proper razor and scissors. He probably should have done away with it altogether; but the recollection of the men in the logging camps calling him ‘baby-face’ and ‘sweet’ stayed his hand. His brown hair was overgrown and hung in shaggy curtains over his ears; and the single spare outfit he was currently wearing looked like it had spent the day being beaten against a rock and sun-dried.

Probably because it had.

But after… three, maybe four weeks in the woods it was the closest to sane he could make himself look.

Only slightly rabid… Still, more likely to be arrested for loitering than not.

He pulled his coat tighter and shivered against the chill night air. His legs and back ached from the weeks of near constant travel. His best guess was that he was about a hundred miles from the site of his massacre, and he hoped that was far enough. The heavy pack over his shoulder was readjusted, and the tall man continued down the street.

The small Washington town was one he vaguely remembered having traveled through on his way to Seattle once or twice. Not much more than a main road and a handful of cookie-cutter suburban homes. A clinging relic of the past centuries mining operations and the last decades of logging.

Ben thought it was charming, in the way that most people unfamiliar with small-town living often do.

A vending machine filled with the local newspaper caught Ben’s eye, and he made his way over - quickly scanning the front page for anything pertinent to his search for information.

Nothing. No article or mention of anything untoward in the state besides the usual problems that came hand-in-hand with society.

This allowed the man a sliver of hope; but reason told him that nearly a month past in a small town miles and miles away might not be the best temperature check for his situation.

The sound of a heavy door opening brought Ben back to the present, and he involuntarily tensed as a pair of drunk-looking men stumbled out of a building across the street then shambled down the sidewalk.

Now there was a thought.

Swiveling his head from side-to-side, Ben stepped into the street and crossed. He glanced at the neon-sign covered window displaying a multitude of alcoholic beverage names as he approached the building the men had just exited.

The large wooden bar doors had an enjoyable weight to them, Ben thought as he stepped into the dark interior of the building… and upon inspection, he found that was about the nicest thing he could say about the place. A man sitting beside the door - assumedly the bouncer, although the three other patrons in the open room seemed far too drunk to offer any resistance if they were to be escorted out - gave Ben a once-over as he moved further into the bar before flicking his magazine back open and continuing to peruse the pages.

The walls were a mess of more neon interspersed sporadically with posters of scantily clad women drinking one of the advertised beverages. A dart board near the back of the room hung sadly askew against a ply-board wall.

Ben grimaced at the feel of his boots sticking to the cheap carpet covering the floor.

An old rifle sat entwined in the antlers of a mounted deer’s head over the back wall behind the bar; and Ben raised a brow at what looked like a pipe stuffed in the poor animals’ mouth.

An older man in a stain-covered apron approached Ben as he took a seat at the bar, jacket catching on the rough wood covering the top.

He didn’t seem the least bit concerned at Ben’s raggedy appearance, and silently the younger man concluded that he probably wasn’t the first odd ball to cross his path tonight.

“Evening. What can I get ya?”

Ben dug around in his jacket pocket, producing a crumbled $5 bill, which he placed on the counter before answering.

“Whatever whiskey’s on well. Double. Neat.”

The bartender nodded, grabbing the money from the bar and moving with practiced ease to pull a slightly cloudy glass and a bottle from behind the bar; pouring the alcohol before returning to place it in front of Ben.

The logger sipped the glass silently, contemplating how to frame his inquiry to the bartender before he jerked back as a massive grey head popped up over the bar and barked straight in his face.

“Roosevelt!! DOWN, god dammit!!”

With a whine and a sad look, the gigantic dog dropped his paws off the bar and trotted around the structure; coming to a halt beside Ben’s stool and sniffing him curiously.

Ben’s lips twitched in a small smile as he offered the large animal his hand to smell.

The bartender looked exasperated as he returned to the loggers’ side.

“Sorry about him. He’s friendly, just doesn’t know when to stop being a pest to customers.”

“Not a problem…” Ben murmured, clearing his throat before continuing, a bit louder this time. “… Nothing wrong with a friendly dog.”

He scratched Roosevelt behind his floppy ears, making the dog close its eyes in bliss as its long pink tongue lolled out.

Smiling, the bartender refilled Ben’s glass, which had sloshed across the bar when he’d jerked away from the sudden canine appearance.

“What brings you to town?”

Ben paused, thinking through the question, before deciding that as close to the truth as he could get would be the best way to play this.

“Passing through. Looking for a place to settle for a bit.”

The older man chuckled.

“Well, congratulations on finding us. It’s a little remote up here unless you’re moving through to Spokane.”

“Seems like a nice town.”

The man nodded.

“It is, it is… Been on the decline over the last few years as the mines started to close; but the logging keeps us afloat.”

Ben contemplated his next question.

“… Any problems with the loggers? Looked pretty quiet coming in; but you hear stories…”

Another chuckle.

“I don’t think a big fella like you has anything to worry about; but no. Generally, they only come down on the weekends looking for a drink. Otherwise the town’s mostly left to its own devices.”

Roosevelt huffed and placed his head on Ben’s thigh. The grey-haired man smiled down at the dog as Ben continued to slowly rub his soft ears.

So, nothing, that was surprising… and good… it wasn’t exactly a fool-proof inquest; but if the bartender didn’t know anything about the killings, Ben didn’t want to be the one to bring it up.

“He likes you… Yup, we’re just a couple of old men tryin’ to keep the bar afloat. Ain’t fancy; but it’s honest work. Right, Roosevelt?”

The dog’s ears perked at the sound of his name and he let out a small ‘whuff’ against the fabric of Ben’s pants.

Ben laughed lowly at the dog’s antics, then lifted his gaze to grin at the older man.

“Sounds pretty good to me.”

The bartender extended a hand over the expanse of the bar.

“I’m James; but most folks around here call me Jimmy.”

Smile growing a bit wider, Ben reached over and shook the man’s hand.

“Ben.”

Jimmy released Ben’s hand and set his own firmly against the bartop.

“Well, Ben, let me be the first to officially welcome you to town.”

“I appreciate that, Jimmy… You wouldn’t happen to know where I could get a bed for the night, would you?”

Jimmy huffed, looking vaguely annoyed before nodding.

“I do. There’s a little hotel a few blocks down… but I’m gonna tell you right now, looking like you do, Arlene - the lady who runs the place - won’t let you in the door much less rent you a room.”

Ben hummed. He thought that might become a problem at some point.

“That’s alright. Just have to wait and visit the barber tomorrow…”

Hopefully the rain would hold off until the morning so he could get a dry night’s sleep. One more night in the forest wouldn’t kill him.

Jimmy’s mouth pressed into a line and he seemed to be contemplating something as he stared at Ben.

“Am I right in assuming you’re gonna be looking for work around town?”

Ben blinked.

“Yeah…?”

The older man tapped his fingers a few times against the bar as he continued to watch the younger man.

“Alright. Here’s the deal. I need a hand doing the heavy lifting around here - I’m not getting’ any younger - and in exchange I’ll let you crash in the back room until you find a place of your own. Sound good?”

Ben straightened up, looking seriously at the man.

“…What’s the catch? That sounds a bit too good…”

Jimmy laughed.

“Trust me, it ain’t. The back’s colder than an ice-chest and the hours are long… but like I said, it’s honest work. I’m puttin’ an awful lot of faith in you that you won’t just get drunk and bolt once I close up.”

Ben’s brow furrowed.

“Why? You don’t know me.”

“Roosevelt likes you… and sometimes you gotta have a little faith in people. Let ‘em surprise you.”

The logger’s mouth opened, ready to let the man know that was the dumbest thing he’d ever heard before he paused. A memory of his mother, back before she’d gotten sick, surfaced in his mind. He recalled her telling him something similar - that was something she’d always tried to instill in him, even as a child… Faith in people.

Ben clenched his fists under the bar.

The last decade had done a number on any modicum of ‘faith’ the young man had. Death and loss and violence were what he saw. Faith was for the blind. But maybe… once more… for Rebecca…

“Alright. Deal.”

Jimmy smiled broadly, slapping his wrinkled hands against the bar.

“Good! Glad to have you on, Ben.”

The brunette nodded, letting a small grin slid over his lips as Roosevelt began to thump his tail loudly against the thin carpet.

Maybe this would work out after all.

[weerd1]

Star Trek DS9 Rewatch Log, Stardate 1909.28: Missions Reviewed, “Extreme Measures,” “The Dogs of War,” and “What You Leave Behind.”

(Note: as we are in the last nine episodes which run as a continuous storyline, these three will be summarized together.)

Kira and Garak return an ailing Odo to DS9, and his condition is far worse than Bashir expected. Odo asks Kira to return to Damar so she doesn’t have to watch him die, and so Kira’s grief won’t be the last thing he sees. Bashir and O’Brien reveal their plan to Sisko who though angry, gives his approval. They also reveal they have Romulan mind-probes to use if the Seciton 31 agent does not want to be helpful. Soon enough, Sloan himself arrives, and Bashir springs his trap. Realizing he’s cornered, Sloan triggers a suicide device.

 Bashir stabilizes him, but they have about an hour before he dies. Bashir re-rigs the Romulan probes to create a mind meld, and he and O’Brien go into Sloan’s brain to find the material. At first there is little resistance, but the longer they stay the worse it gets until they are shot by a “guard.” They realize that must symbolize where the information is. Trying to enter, they find themselves awakened by Sisko, who puts and end to it. In his quarters, Bashir tries to read, but the book just starts over again right where he left off, and he realizes they are still in Sloan’s brain; Sloan can’t replicate what Julian has not read yet. He gathers O’Brien and returns to “the room,” finding Sloan inside surrounded by documents. O’Brien finds the cure for Odo, but Bashir does not want to leave given all the other information. 

O’Brien talks him out, and they wake up, really this time, as Sloan dies. Bashir replicates the cure and saves Odo. Starfleet however does not want to share the cure with the Founders, and Sisko follows those orders, asking Odo not to do it either. Odo mentions how the Federation wrings their hands about a Section 31, but they still allow them to do the dirty work, and accept that work. On Cardassia, Damar’s resistance cell is in trouble when betrayed by one of the officers he tries to recruit. Soon, it is just Damar, Garak, and Kira hiding in the basement of Garak’s childhood home, tended to by Mila, the servant to Garak’s father Enebran Tain, and likely Garak’s mother.  The ailing Founder decides to pull Dominion forces back into Cardassian space, solidifying their position, and allowing them time to build more ships and Jem’Hadar and extend the war. The Federation Alliance decides not to let this happen, and prepare to invade Cardassia. Kai Winn takes Dukat, whose sight is restored, back in, and the two plan to take the book of Kosst Amojan to the Fire Caves to release the Pah-Wraiths. Quark gets a message from the Grand Nagus that he’s going to be made the next Nagus, and begins to plan. Brunt shows up, ready to suck up, and tells Quark about the various reforms Zek has made, like taxes and wage guarantees and free healthcare. 

Quark vows to return Ferenginar to it’s corrupt, greedy glory. Ezri and Bashir begin to talk about whether or not they should pursue a relationship. Initially they decide not to ruin their friendship, but soon they are making out in a turbo lift. The Nagus arrives, and reveals that he thought he was talking to someone else when he named Quark Nagus…Rom. Rom becomes the Grand Nagus and Quark vows that HIS bar will always be the greedy and corrupt tribute to what Ferenginar should be. Dukat and Winn find the right place in the caves, and reading the right spell, they burst into flame. They await the moment. O’Brien makes the decision that he will return to Earth after the war and take a teaching position at the Academy. Kasidy reveals to Ben that she is pregnant.

The invasion of Cardassia begins. On the planet, Damar reveals he is alive, and the people begin to rise up against the Dominion in the name of Damar. In response, the female Founder orders a city destroyed. She promises every act of betrayal by Cardassians will result in another razed city. Jem’Hadar forces find and capture Darmar, Kira, and Garak.

 They are about to be executed. The Alliance fleet enters Dominion space and the fight is on.  Things are not going well for them. Winn on Bajor proposes that Dukat drink with her to celebrate, but he realizes too late that she has poisoned him and his death is the sacrifice that brings forth Kosst Amojan. Just as the Jem’Hadar are going to gun down Damar and crew, the Cardassian guards turn on the Jem’Hadar, and declare their allegiance to Damar. They prepare to raid the headquarters. In space, the Cardassian fleet turns its guns on the Breen and Jem’Hadar, turning the tide. The Alliance fleet pursues the Dominion to Cardassian orbit. There are thousands of ships and orbital emplacements there. The fight is not over but becomes a stand off. 

 Given the Cardassian change of sides, the Founder orders the elimination of all Cardassians on the planet. The world begins to burn. The rebels hit the HQ, but Damar is killed in the process. Kira and Garak make it into the control room, and Garak kills the last Weyoun.

 The Founder refuses to call off the attacks on Cardassia or surrender the fleet, telling them they will have to fight to the last Dominion soldier. Odo beams down from the Defiant, linking with the Founder, curing her in the process. In the seconds they are bound together, he negotiates a treaty between Dominion and the Alpha Quadrant. The war comes to an end. The alliance beams down to find the Dominion has killed 800 million Cardassians. Odo reveals the Founder will stay and face war crimes trials, but he will go back to the Great Link and cure his people, teaching them about the Solids. Kira asks when he will come back. He reveals he won’t.

On DS9, everyone gathers in Vic Fontaine’s lounge, realizing it is likely the last time they will all be together. Worf takes the position as Federation ambassador to the Klingons. Garak has stayed behind to rebuild Cardassia. O’Brien gets ready to leave to Earth. On Bajor, Kosst Amojan returns, but rather than come into the Kai, he reanimates Dukat, restoring him to his Cardassian form.

 Sisko senses it from the station, and goes there. Dukat/Amojan disintegrates Winn as she tries to stop him, distracting him enough Sisko can tackle him, and taking the book, knock Dukat, himself, and sacred evil text into the flames. Sisko is suddenly in the Celestial temple.  Sarah/Prophet is there and tells him that he has fulfilled his duty, Dukat will forever be imprisoned with the Pah-Wraiths on Bajor. But Ben’s corporeal form has been destroyed. He is now to stay in the temple and learn, so he may one day return to Bajor as Emissary. He reaches out and brings Kasidy into the temple, telling her what has happened, but telling her to make sure everyone knows Benjamin Sisko, The Emissary, promises to return.

Kira takes Odo back to the Great Link, where he changes his appearance to look as if he is in a tuxedo one more time and bids her farewell. He steps into the dying link, and it begins to heal around him, but he can no longer be differentiated from his people. 

Kira returns to DS9 where she has assumed command of the station. She finds Quark has started a betting pool on who will be the next Kai, which she immediately shuts down. Quark realizes he’s going to have to stay crafty to keep ahead of the new station commander. “The more things change the more they stay the same,” he says. Kira sees Jake Sisko, standing on the upper level of the Promenade, where he and Nog (Kira’s new Ops officer) used to look down on the others. Now he’s looking out, toward the wormhole, knowing his father is in the Celestial Temple. She joins him there, and the two look out as we pull away. Deep Space Nine, formally Terok Nor, hangs in space at the mouth of the wormhole, and as it has for the last seven season…it waits.

I’m not sure how you mourn a show that ended two decades ago, that you know is on Netflix, or that I know I have upstairs on DVD. It’s a show I can revisit anytime I want to in any amount, and dammit, I am sad it is over.  I want more, I would watch all of these people carry on tomorrow if I could. We’ve lost some of them, but dear lord how this all ends, enough to satisfy, but I would return to Bajor in a heartbeat if they announced it.

There are some things here I might have done differently. I still think Kira should have killed Dukat rather than Sisko, and with all the talk of the Alamo, it seems like the final battle of the show should have happened at DS9, surrounded by insurmountable numbers of Dominion ships, but perhaps that would have been too much like the battle that opened Season 6. The culmination of the Damar storyline, from “Cardassian Bridge Officer” to Dominion toady, to hero of Cardassia is so pitch perfect as to need the climax on his world. The fleet battle so ridiculously epic to this day, despite 20 years old effects, you need it to be where it is so you can cheer when the Cardassians turn, and be horrified when the Dominion turns its guns on Cardassia…formerly the villains. What a change from the first episode, and what a journey.

What a journey for the Ferengi as well, as Rom goes from “Pit boss” to Quark’s brother to engineer to Nagus.  Or Nog as he goes from child thief, to Cadet, to DS9’s operations Lieutenant. Garak, as the plain, simple, tailor with a mysterious past to the defacto ruler of a smoldering Cardassia.  As great as all the main character arcs where, those supporting characters are what really makes DS9 great. Brunt, Weyoun, Martok, Sloan, Cretak, Winn, Bareil, the list goes on. A couple of particular things I took away from the finale, the final battle between Sisko, Dukat, and Winn struck me this time as a nearly beat for beat homage to the final scene of the Classic Series’ second pilot “Where No Man Has Gone Before,” where Kirk has to face his friend Gary Mitchell who has developed god-like power along with ship’s psychologist, Dr. Elizabeth Dehner. The dynamic where Dehner realizes she’s wrong as she watches Gary force Kirk to bow to him as a God is remarkably similar to Winn watching Dukat do the same to Sisko.  More on that in a minute. Another character note I love, and something I missed 20 years ago, Worf becomes Ambassador to the Klingons…the same position once held by Curzon Dax. What a fascinating extension of his relationship to Dax, even as Dax’s current host Ezri has chosen Bashir.

Kira Nerys: Former freedom fighter, who may have delved into terrorist one time too many. Woman of faith, surrounded by a scientific world. Woman who owns her sexuality and her femininity, and is perfectly happy to kick your ass when you need it. A woman we watch grow from ready to kill every Cardassian she sees to co-liberator of their world. Who loved and lost a Changeling, but whose love will set the stage to bridge Odo’s people with the Solids.  Who served next to her Emissary, and stands now in his place waiting for his return. Rewatching DS9 absolutely reinforced my feelings that Kira Nerys is Star Trek’s best character.

Hindsight allows me to see what DS9 foreshadowed in television as well. Complex characters in morally ambiguous situations; long story arcs dependent on you seeing each chapter, and each episode leading into the next; women as leaders and peers who are not marginalized by the story; a brown man who is presented as a good father AND as the Messiah: Deep Space Nine is not just progressive for its time, it helped define what television would become. It’s continuity replicated in a thousand binge-worthy streams on Netflix like “Stranger Things.” Representation for women on shows like “Jessica Jones,” or “Game of Thrones” or of course “Star Trek: Discovery.” Though honestly, we have perhaps not learned enough from DS9, as there has never been another character quite like Benjamin Sisko, and all he represents. We can still learn from that; as I have said many times in this rundown, “Star Trek is always relevant.”

So now it is over, and I find that yes, DS9 holds up pretty well 20 years later. It’s still ahead of its time in some ways, and in those things that aren’t, serves as a roadmap of where we have been, demonstrating why we needed to move beyond such tropes. But in questions of faith, what it means to be human, and how one doesn’t have to be perfect to be better, nothing quite examines the human condition like DS9 does; and that’s why, hands down, at least for now, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine is the very best Star Trek has to offer.

NEXT VOYAGE: After  173 episodes, 124 pages, and 71,819 words about DS9, how is there a Next Voyage? Join me one more time for my review of “What We Left Behind,” this year’s DS9 documentary. But let’s face facts: I will never be done talking about DS9.

[ember373]

When the quiet settles in, the demons come out to play...

Nights are the hardest. When the house is still and everything is quiet. I’m fine if I busy myself, but the moment I pause and start to think... That’s when I’m fucked. One little thought takes me down the rabbit trail and I spiral deeper and deeper. Some nights I sti there, numb, thoughts racing through my mind pinning me down like a deer in headlights. Other nights I feel-all the pain, loneliness, desparation, isolation, rage, fear-all the lovelies I try to push away during the day come out at night to play. Sometimes they play so hard that water leaks from my eyes. (Who’s crying?!? I’m NOT crying...)

It’s the night before my birthday and I hear the typewriter sound of my phone notifying me that I have an email. I get my hopes up. Someone remembered me and is wishing me a Happy Birthday!! ... nope. It’s just a pen pal service I signed up for long ago wishing me a happy birthday and wondering why I haven’t logged on in so long. :/ I should have known better. There is dark laughter inside of me at my stupidity.

I hate my birthday. I used to love it. I used to look forward to time spent with friends, wondering what little surprises might be in store, what thoughtful things people might have picked out just for me. But just like holidays, it became just another day of stress. And the title of picky princess got wrapped around my head, but instead of a soft silk sachet it was a crown of prickly scratchy burlap that must have been drug through a field of weeds and picked up every poky thing it could find and embedded it in it’s rough fibers. It’s not even that I was demanding or whiny or anything. I don’t know if it was just a cool thing to say because in his head all women act like that? I have no idea. But suddenly, me wanting to plan a special day for myself one day out of the year somehow turned in to I was hard to please and I’d hold every little mistake over his head. There was that one time we went out of town and he forgot to pack my luggage so I had NOTHING. I was a bit upset about that and joked about it for years. But I only laughed about it because it hurt so damn much. It was right there by everything else, but somehow just didn’t make it into the car. And then when we discovered it, he shrugged it off and told me I was being ridiculous when I got upset that I had nothing for the weekend. I wasn’t allowed to feel. As always, my thoughts and feelings are ridiculous because they inconvenienced him. He had a ball game to go to with a friend. I could just go shopping and find something to work for the weekend. Maybe most girls would have loved that idea, but I hate clothes shopping. I’m not a size 2. Or 6 or 8 or 10. They don’t make a lot of flattering clothes for the bigger sizes. So it was a very depressing weekend. But I had to push it all aside and plaster a smile on my face and have fun because dammit he planned this great weekend and I better not ruin it. *sigh*

I started to care less and less about my birthday in the following years. And then I just started dreading it. Every year now, I dream of running away and just being somewhere by myself where nobody knows who I am or when I was born until the day passes and everything goes back to ‘normal’ again. But that’s not allowed. What was once a celebration feels like an obligation to everyone but myself. I need to celebrate with these people (his family) because they want to celebrate with me and give me gifts they picked out, even though half of them might be something I can’t even fathom of ever wanting. But they know me so well. *eye roll* I smile and say my thank yous and feign delight over every one. I don’t want to hurt their feelings. And god forbid I fuck up in the little world he created. Because it’s all about him. My birthday? Ha! It’s all about how generous he was and how he bought me expensive shit I never asked for. He was sooo nice and thoughtful. What?!? It’s not what you wanted? Ungrateful bitch. Because of course he shouldn’t ever have to really listen to what I like. Listen to my stories and my life and see what things are important to me and things aren’t. Because every woman likes expensive jewelry and extravagant gifts. Bigger is better, right? And dammit, he went to the mall and spent one hour looking at stuff before deciding this must be what I wanted. All that time! So I just smile and laugh and joke and be truly humbled by everyone’s generosity. Thank you for the zebra print earrings I’ll probably never wear. Thank you for the inspiring God Book I’ll never read. Thank you for the diamond earrings that will fall out of my ear 6 months later that you’ll never let me live down and will always shame me for. Because apparently the locking stud failing was entirely my fault. Thank you for the too small clothes in gaudy bright colors that I never wear and make me want to hurl. Oh, I wear too much black? So thoughtful of you to buy me clothes unlike anything I wear so I can be more like you. So, so sweet.

But inside I’m screaming and just want to be left alone. Birthdays used to be about the person who was born and celebrating in a way that would make them feel happy and loved. Not anymore. Now it’s just a day I have to spend with people I don’t want to, going places I don’t want to, picking up my own cake and pretending everything is ok and that I really don’t want to run screaming into the middle of a highway to be hit by a Mac Truck. Yay. I wanted that to be a run on sentence btw, but just couldn’t commit to it. Ah well.

I’m turning one year older. One year closer to death. How many years do I have left? I feel imprisoned. Just doing my time. I wonder what atrocities I committed in past lives that this is my fate now. Somehow I figure I must deserve this. I must have done something to deserve this. So I just need to shut the fuck up and live it out. Serve my sentence until death releases me. (to do it all over again? Man I hope karma really isn’t a thing...) Try to be as normal as I can be for my kids. Don’t miss the moments. Don’t fuck up their childhood too badly. I’m sure I’m doing a real bang up job.

Wow. This is just a fucking fantastic mood I’m in. I think I’ll stop now. No point in going on. All that garbage didn’t really make me feel any better. Any lighter. I just feel tired and spent. I’m sure I’ll delete this one in the future. :P In the meantime tho, I should go to bed. I have a big day of doing everything for everyone else tomorrow as I turn one year older. Or maybe I’ll stay up and binge watch k drama. That’s much more likely so I stop thinking about all this shit. >.<

11:51 pm 7/5/2019

[etherealblasphemy]

Falling Slowly

So I made a thing because pre-calc sucks and I wish it were summer already.

(based off the song “Falling Slowly” from the musical Once- go check it out, it’s awesome!) (apologies if the text messaging is difficult to understand. i spent an hour trying to format it in HTML but that didn’t work so here we are.)

update: here’s where you can read the sequel, Africa!

…

“I don’t know you,

But I want you”

…

   He knew he should’ve brought an umbrella. He had glanced up at the darkening sky as he closed the door of his townhouse and shrugged, figuring it was simply overcast, as it had been for the past week. He hadn’t expected his bus to be more than half an hour late, nor had he expected for the clouds to open up and let out a torrent of rain beating down on the roof of the little shelter. The bakery wasn’t more than a minute’s walk away from the stop he got off at, but he would’ve preferred keeping his hair dry.

   Virgil pulled out his phone once more, trying to update the bus schedule to see how much longer he’d have to wait for the absent bus. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw someone sit down on the other end of the bench, dripping wet and coughing. He chanced a look at them and nearly dropped his phone in the puddle of rainwater at his feet.

  The man was gorgeous. His skin was perfectly smooth, almost like a statue sculpted by the gods. His hair was soaking wet, droplets of water rolling down his face as he flicked his head, throwing the curly brown locks out of his eyes. A tooth peeked out of his lips, biting down on the pink flesh as a soft sigh escaped his mouth. His eyes- holy shit, his eyes- were the color of hazelnuts, full of warmth and laughter and met his for a fraction of a second before they flickered to the rain pouring from the heavens like the tears of some divine being.

   The man slipped off a red jacket, shaking it. Virgil continued to watch him out of the corner of his eyes, entranced with this beautiful newcomer. His phone buzzed, making him yelp as he saw a text message appear on the lock screen.

   “Hey, kiddo! I checked WMATA’s website, your bus seems to have broken down about a mile away! They’ve almost got it fixed, it shouldn’t be more than 30, but i thought i’d let you know so you don’t worry! See you at the bakery, kiddo!! :DDDD!!!” it read. Virgil smiled at his friend’s kindness, almost able to hear Patton right behind him, telling another awful dad joke that would still make him snort.

   At least he knew now when the bus would come. He felt his gaze wander back towards the pretty man, a blush creeping onto his pale cheeks as he caught notice of the man’s tight white shirt slightly tugging at the muscles underneath.

   “Dammit, Logan,” he whispered, adjusting his shirt. “I told you, this is a hand wash shirt; it can’t be thrown in with the colors, it’ll just shrink.” Virgil would never admit it, but he secretly thanked whoever this Logan person was for making the shirt caress the planes of his body just so, altering his mortal appearance into that of a god. The blush on his face spread to his collarbones. Ah, fuck.

   Virgil averted his eyes, dragging them back his phone were they should be. If he focused enough, he could hear the man’s quiet breaths over the sound of the patter of raindrops. NO. No. No, Virgil, show some restraint. He stared intently at the little white lights on the screen, willing the little butterflies in his stomach to fuck off. His last relationship hadn’t ended well, to say the least.

   He jammed earbuds into his pierced ears, playing his list of rainy day songs on shuffle. He nearly gagged as the first song turned out to Falling Slowly. The first line, mournful and bittersweet, swam through his ears as his eyes glanced back to the man sitting opposite-

   Holy shit.

   Virgil blinked hard, tilting his head more to confirm, yes, really, the man had scooted down the bench. Closer to him. He made some awkward sound of surprise, grabbing the man’s attention.

   “Bless you,” he mumbled as Virgil muttered a thank you, hiding his blushing head in the blinding lights of social media. The man fiddled with the arms of his jacket as Virgil watched from the corner of his eyes.

   Virgil’s heart was hammering. Ooh, he was in deep. Chewing his lip, he sent an SOS to Patton.

[chat log: he regretti the spaghetti]

chemically imbalanced: patton help cute boy @ bus stop

he regretti the spaghetti: Omigosh WHAT?!! PICS PLEASE

[chemically imbalanced has sent one image]

chemically imbalanced: sorry quality sucks

he regretti the spaghetti: Don’t tell me you’re crushing…?

chemically imbalanced: fuck that sixth sense of yours

and.

yes. i think i’m crushing

he regretti the spaghetti: JSABJGFHKJ YES

WAIT TIL I TELL REMY

chemically imbalanced: he scooted closer, what do?

he regretti the spaghetti: Scoot closer, of course!

chemically imbalanced: WAT. 

NONONONO WHAT IF HE FINDS IT WEIRD?

he regretti the spaghetti: Virge.

i can hear your typing from here,

Don’t worry!

I will physically fight him if he hurts my son

chemically imbalanced: pfft

shit i think he heard me laugh

eeeerrrrgh he’s smiling at his phone what if he has a bf????

he regretti the spaghetti: Well you can break them apart! :D

chemically imbalanced: patton wtf

he regretti the spaghetti: I’m kidding! :)

Anyways

Back on subject

SCOOT.

THE BOOTCH.

chemically imbalanced: if i move closer will you never use that phrase again

he regretti the spaghetti: DEAL :D

   Virgil sighed as he turned off his phone, feeling his anxiety swell. He gave him a side glance and saw him still entranced with his phone, shaking his head as he let out a little sigh. If he actually did have a boyfriend… he shut down that thought.

   He took a deep breath. Here goes nothing. Slowly, he shuffled down the bench as his anxiety screamed this was a horrible idea. He kept his eyes trained on the falling rain, chewing his lip faster as he stilled his movements, his eyes flickering quickly to the man, who hadn’t looked up from his phone.

   All at once, the silence was interrupted by a loud voice. Virgil startled, clapping a hand over his mouth to muffle his shriek. The man sheepishly answers the call, cutting off General Shang in the middle of his belting as Virgil paused the music he was listening to.

   “‘Sup, Logan?” he answered. Oh, God. Logan might be his boyfriend, which would explain why he was washing this man’s clothes, though maybe they were roommates, but maybe he actually- Virgil let out a whistle of air between his teeth, breathing firmly.

   “Oh, come on, nerd, I’m not that late to band practice… Well, it’s not my fault the bus broke down! ...Yeah… Elliot’s on their way, they shot me a text just now.” So that’s who had him smiling at his phone. Were they…? “Yeah, they were telling about some more of October’s antics. I swear, that kid has too much energy for the morning. Apparently they met some kid named Ed in school yesterday and wouldn’t stop talking about hamsters or something? I’m not really sure what happened.” The man laughed, throwing his head back, flicking away the rain that still clung to his hair.

   Virgil felt his heart skip a beat. Oh, sweet MCR, he was cute.

   “Don’t you fret, dear noble,” the man said suddenly in a theatrical manner. “Your prince shall arrive to rescue from distress!” Virgil unconsciously scooted closer to hear Logan’s response.

   “...last name…” was all he heard.

   Virgil crossed his legs, hoping to draw attention away from his colored cheeks. He studied an ad on the side of the bus shelter, promoting a new show at the local theater. Maybe he’d check it out.

   “Alright, Calculator, I gotta go. Keep that guitar tuned for me!” The man gave another chuckle that gave Virgil a storm of butterflies in his stomach. With a start, he realized he had moved closer to the man, almost able to reach out and touch this divine figure sitting beside him.

   He pretended to look for the bus, stealing a glance at the man. Up close, Virgil could see hints of a golden eyeliner, making his hazelnuts eyes stand out against dark eyelashes that enticed Virgil to touch them and see just how soft they were. His eyes seemed to smile at Virgil, promising him a tomorrow and a today and a yesterday and an always.

[chat log: he regretti the spaghetti]

chemically imbalanced: i swear on the holy emo trinity i’m love with him

he regretti the spaghetti: Woah, that’s pretty serious, Virge

Are you sure, kiddo?

After, y’know...

chemically imbalanced: i don’t know

...

what am i supposed to do?

he regretti the spaghetti: Try talking with him

chemically imbalanced: holy shit he just scooted

we’re almost touching

he regretti the spaghetti: IS THIS A DRILL

VIRGE, THIS IS GREAT!!

chemically imbalanced: NO IT’S NOT

WHAT IF I LED HIM ON AND HE GETS MAD

he regretti the spaghetti: If he’s a good person, he won’t

Good people understand if you explain

chemically imbalanced: HOLY FUCK HIS HAND IS JUST THERE

AT HIS SIDE

LIKE HE WANTS TO HOLD MINE

he regretti the spaghetti: THIS IS NOT A DRILL

I REPEAT, THIS IS NOT jfhgashel

chemically imbalanced: patton?

he regretti the spaghetti: vee, it’s remy get to work and stop distracting patton

chemically imbalanced: yessir

he regretti the spaghetti: and you better tell me everything when you get here

chemically imbalanced: fuck

   He was breathing too fast. His heart was beating too hard. His mind was racing. His cheeks were blushing. He could hear Patton in the back of his mind, telling him to breathe. To focus on one thing and one thing only. He concentrated on the rain, still pouring from the sky like whoever was up there had a broken heart.

   He unpaused his music, the sounds of Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova crooning together filling his ears as he tuned out everything else- except the man beside him. His hand was right there. Right. There.

   Virgil swallowed thickly, and dared to put his hand down on the bench. He held his breath. He could see the man’s hand out of the corner of his eye. Their pinkies had but a breath between them. If any one of them moved, their hands would touch. The thought made his heart skip a beat, and made his stomach crawl. What the hell had he gotten himself into?

   He saw movement and panicked.

   He stood up suddenly, startling the man, who yanked his hand away as if it had been bitten by some venomous creature. “I’m sorry,” he blurted out, hating how his voice noticeably cracked. Virgil grabbed his bag and ran, the rain soaking his face mixing with the storm pouring out from his eyes.

…

“Raise your hopeful voice

You had the choice

You’ve made it now”

…

   Others would have been brokenhearted. Even others would have been mad, distraught, or confused. But not Roman. He took it as a challenge, this mysterious shadowling who had fled from the bus shelter, soaking his beautiful ebony locks tied back in a small ponytail at the nape of his neck.

   Every day, he went back to the bus stop. Normally he’d walk to band practice, but after that chance encounter with fledgeling thunderstorm, he couldn’t help himself from going back to the bus stop everyday to see if the man who listened to Falling Slowly loud enough for him to hear was back. Something in him yearned to see his enigmatic eyes again, to unravel all the secrets of this pretty mystery, to learn his name and treasure it like gold.

   It had been almost a month now. Either the guy had just been looking for an escape from the downpour, or he was avoiding Roman. Roman didn’t know which thought made his heart hurt more.

   Roman walked sullenly to the bus stop today. It was overcast and chilly, much like that fateful day, and the gloom of the world was starting to make him doubt that the shadowling would ever turn up again. He looked up from the slate sidewalk as he neared the stop and choked on his breath.

   There he was, lissome as always, the tintinnabulation of his earrings enrapturing Roman immediately. He was focused on his phone, typing away rapidly. Roman sighed happily, sitting down on the bench opposite this enigma as discreetly as possible.

[chat log: dic(k)tionary]

prince charming: Logan.

Logan.

Logan!

dic(k)tionary: I’m not talking until you tell me where my glasses are.

prince charming: NO TIME LOGAN

HE’S HERE <333333

dic(k)tionary: Who?

Oh, is it ‘Hot Topic’?

prince charming: Obviously hun

[prince charming has sent one image]

dic(k)tionary: If you want advice, give it up.

Where are my glasses, you CENTURION?

prince charming: *sigh*

they’re in your I Believe mug.

dic(k)tionary: Thank you.

And also why did you actually type out “*sigh*”?

prince charming: Why do you actually type out grammar corrections?

dic(k)tionary): Fair enough.

My advice to you is to see what he does.

Perhaps you were being too forward last time.

Let him make the first move.

If he shows indications of romantic interest,

you can take things from there.

See you at band practice.

…

Good luck. :)

prince charming: WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THAT THANK YOU

THIS IS WHY WE’RE FRIENDS

LOVE YOU NERD

:DDD <3333

   Oh. Now he had to wait. Great.

   Roman twiddled his thumbs as he leaned back against the bench, sighing. He peeked at the mysterious man, who had yet to look up from his phone. He looked up towards the sky, which was growing darker and darker by the second. Good thing he brought an umbrella.

   As it would turn out, the bus was late again, up to its usual antics, as per usual. Roman saw the first few drops of rain splatter the pavement a few minutes later, the calming pitter-patter soon escalating to a full-on northern downpour.

   He chanced a glimpse at the one he had fondly nicknamed Hot Topic and felt his heart sink. Nothing had changed. Should he really wait for Hot Topic to make the first move? What if Roman had been leading the poor man on? He brushed his curly bangs out of his face, deflating. Perhaps the man didn’t even like, and the whole thing had been a trick of the mind-

   He heard something shuffle. His eyes went wide, his breath hitching, his heart swelling with the possibility that maybe, just maybe, this whole not-exactly-a-plan of his would work. He waited a beat before briefly turning his head to look. His heart soared, an eagle navigating the dusty skies of the savanna.

   Hot Topic had slid down the bench, still as a statue as though waiting for some sort of reaction from Roman. Holy shit. Holy shit, this was happening. He wasn’t dreaming, of that he was sure. Roman let out a breathy giggle, quiet beneath the steady drumming of rain on the roof of the bus shelter.

[chat log: dic(k)tionary]

prince charming: LOGAN HE DID IT

HE SLID CLOSER

WHAT SHOULD I DO???

dic(k)tionary: I told you.

“If he shows indications of romantic interest,

you can take things from there.”

prince charming: BUT WHAT DO I DO

dic(k)tionary: Roman.

You do whatever your heart tells you.

For lack of a better word,

duh.

   Roman held his breath, and moved over on the bench. He could feel his palms sweating beyond belief as he bounced his leg rapidly in hopes of quelling the anxiety rising up inside him. He let out a rush of air. Do what his heart told him, eh?

   Well, his heart told him to run off with this dream of a man, riding upon a majestic horse off into the sunset of a thousand hues. And Roman was pretty sure that’s not what Logan had meant.

   His attention was grabbed by someone coughing. He looked up at the man and held his gaze, his eyes met two violet irises filled with wonder and hope that whispered to him tales of a day by the beach, resting in each other’s arms, of a day in bed, cuddling together, of a day spent sneaking glances at each other when the other wasn’t looking, creeping closer together on a bench of a bus shelter they just happened to be in together on a rainy day.

   They broke their gaze at the same time, faces flushing with color and painted with hopeful smiles. Roman was struck with an idea. He took a deep breath and began to sing. “Take this sinking boat and point it home, we’ve still got time.” He heard a gasp from the pretty mystery as he joined in.

   “Raise your hopeful voice, you had the choice, you’ve made it now.” Without thinking, Roman slid the remaining distance to the man and crashed into him, the touch of their shoulders electrifying and invigorating and everything he ever hoped it would be.

   They finished the song, falling into silence that brought youthful hearts to the brink of madness, wondering who would speak first.

   Roman’s hand fell back to bench, jolting slightly when it touched warm flesh rather than the cold bench. He saw the pale hand and followed the path of the arm attached to it to meet with those awe-inspiring violet eyes that made his heart tremble with want.

   He knew what he had to do.

   He turned his whole body towards this mysterious man and stuck out his hand, smiling genuinely. “My name is Roman Prince. What’s yours?”

   The rain calmed down, two crepuscular rays of light breaking through the storm clouds to greet the two strangers waiting side by side at bus stop, strangers no longer, but two people falling slowly.

…

“Falling slowly

sing your melody

I'll sing along”

…

[julia-highstorms]

The Third Park (Damien x OC (Ellie)) - Part 3

Summary: Damien Nazario’s is about to turn upside down when he meets Eleanor Zhou.

Note: (most) characters belong to Pixelberry Studios. Damien is 100% human in here and Male!MC (Allen). Damien’s fc (Santiago Cabrera) gifs by @flynnomalleys and Ellie’s fc (Ni Ni) by @ivywrites (the gif used in Part 2 is @ileftthebuilding’s creation). Has anyone noticed that Ellie shared her surname with Aiden (HSS)? Yep, they’re cousins too (and Ellie is from Cedar Cove) Link to previous parts

Pairing: Damien x OC (Ellie)

Rating: PG-13 (language/alcohol)

Tagging: @flynnomalleys @boneandfur @damienazariostan @client327 @never-ending-choices @dangerous-capri15 @goirishsunshine @walkerismychoice @laniquelove @parkerattano @bluediamondsapphire @wa-reva @her-imperial-hangman-s @endlesswoods @confessionsofabrokegirl @odetomars @suckmydestielobsessedassbutt If you would like to be tagged, tell me!

Word count: 2780

“Uh...” – Damien looked back at her, a little surprised by her sudden bluntness. – “I beg your pardon?”

But he would be lying if he said that he didn't like listening to her cursing. Oh, he liked it, and more than he should. Seeing the swear word coming out of that pretty mouth of hers was hot.

God dammit, Damien. Get ahold of yourself, man.

"I mean, I've always known that they were both a little crazy. But not crazy enough to marry…" - she quickly glanced around, making sure no one could hear her. - "...robots."

"Oh." - he simply said. - "Don't ask me. I don't understand it either." - Eleanor let out a low sigh, looking above her shoulder to the newlyweds outside, laughing about something.

"I just hope they know what they're getting into." - she muttered, a worrying expression on her face.

"Don't worry. Hayden and Steve are great people. And they truly care and love your cousins." - she nodded, but he could see that she was not fully convinced yet.

“I believe in you. It all just sound too surreal to me. I don’t know, what if they turn into evil robots?” - Damien snorted. - “Hey, this is serious!” - the woman had an angry expression on her face and their eyes locked for a moment, before they both burst off laughing. - “Okay, this sounded a little silly, I confess.”

"Yeah, it sounded.” - he agreed, still chuckling. “But I assure you that you have nothing to worry about. They're their Perfect Matches, after all." - he said the last sentence with bitterness in his voice.

Ellie stopped laughing instantly as her eyes suddenly shined mischievously:

"Someone sounds a little hurt..."

...What?

"I'm not." - he stated, frowning.

"Well, your behavior says exactly the opposite." - she said with a sly grin spreading through her red lips.

"What do you mean?" - he crossed his arms and stepped back.

"This. First, drinking as if there was no tomorrow and now acting so defensive."

Damien was wordless. That was one of those rare times that he didn't know what to say. Who was this woman who had just met him but could read him like an open book? Why he felt like he was under some kind of spell?

But before he could say or do anything, they heard Nadia calling for her:

"Ellie?! Where are you?! There's someone that I want you to meet!"

Eleanor shouted back to her cousin saying that she was coming, before turning back at him.

"It was a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Nazario."

And then, Eleanor Zhou turned around and Damien watched - still paralyzed by her - the woman in red walking outdoors to where her cousin was waiting for her.

...Jeez, he needed another drink.

Damien spent the day after the double wedding on his bed, completely hangover. After Allen's and Nadia's cousin had left him alone, he decided to leave the party. He knew that he was supposed to stay until the end - as their Best Man -, but it was being simply torture watch Allen all happy in Hayden's arms.

But of course he couldn't leave before saying goodbye to him. So he wished Allen and Hayden a safe honeymoon and told his best friend that he was happy for him one more time (and he truly was), before excusing himself. He left before Nadia had the opportunity to complain his early departure - thankfully, she was too busy introducing her cousin to one of her artists friends. Eleanor didn't see him left the party too, thank God - and Damien went to his favorite pub, Archer and Hopps. And he spent the rest of the night there drinking. He wasn't sure how he got home, but he suspected that his good old friend Flynn helped him to come home.

As soon as he felt a little better and less dizzy, on Sunday night, he took a quick shower and ordered Thai food for dinner. Damien opened his drink cabinet and pulled out a Bacardi before settling down on his couch and turning the TV on to watch the news while he ate (and drank some more).

He passed out on the sofa, wasted again.

Although she was on vacation from her work, Eleanor woke up bright and early on Monday. She was in New York and she would enjoy every single minute while she was there. She had already gone to Central Park the day before, reviving some of her childhood memories - Nadia's mom would always take the three of them to spend a whole day there when she came to the Big Apple on holidays with her parents - and today she would go shopping!

...After she took Dipper on her morning stroll.

That was another reason why she took that one week vacation. Allen asked her to take care of his dog while he was away. Usually, he asked Nadia to take care of the dog, but she had her own honeymoon too, so he had to ask this favor to his other cousin. And Ellie gladly accepted it, since she herself had a 4 year old yellow Labrador Retriever, Freddie. She considered bringing him to NY, but he and Dipper could not get along and that would be a problem. Freddie didn't like to share, especially Ellie’s love and attention. So she left him home in Northbridge, under the care of her best friend, Lucy.

Eleanor had just came back to Allen's apartment in Brooklyn after taking Dipper for a walk, when she received an email. It was her boss asking her the layouts of the pages with the photoshoot pictures that Poppy sent the week before.

"Shit!" - she cursed, before running to her cousin's bedroom to grab her laptop. She kept swearing, calling her boss names (she was on vacation after all!) as she tried to connect to Allen's Wi-Fi…

...But she didn't know his password. She searched for it throughout the whole apartment, any sign of what could be his password, but she found nothing. She tried a lot of combinations, but none of them worked.

Ellie cursed again and texted Allen (and Nadia) asking for it, but she knew that he wouldn't answer her. He was on his god dammit honeymoon! He was busy. He wouldn't be looking through his phone.

"Fuck!" - she yelled, after almost an hour trying to log on.

Then, she remembered something. She grabbed her phone again and scrolled through the contacts, stopping by a new name, listening to Allen's words inside her head:

"If you need any help, Damien is the man! He'll help you with anything! All you need to do is call him."

And, without thinking twice, she pressed "call".

Damien woke up with a terrible headache. He slowly sat up, rubbing his hand on his sore neck. He slept on the couch, again. And he was wearing the clothes from the day before and the TV was still on. He turned it off, realizing that the reason why his head seemed that it was going to explode was because someone was trying to knock his door down.

"Ugh… what time is it?" - he thought to himself, wobbling towards the door of his apartment. - "Is it Nadia? Why didn't she simply came in? She has my key anyway..."

But the woman outside wasn't Nadia.

"Finally!" - she yelled when he opened the door. It was Allen's and Nadia's cousin. The Third Park. And then he remembered that his friends were away on their honeymoons. Fuck. - "Oh my God, are you hangover?!"

"Uh… what? What are you doing here? How do you know where I live?" - he asked Eleanor, who looked disapprovingly at him, her arms crossed.

"Unbelievable." - yep. She definitely was a Park. Her reaction was the same as Nadia’s. - "Don't you have a little of self-love, Nazario?"

"You didn't answer my questions. What--"

"Allen told me to call you if I needed any help so, just in case, he gave me your number and address. And I need help right now, so here I am." - she shrugged. He didn't move a muscle. - "Are you going to stand there and look at me the whole day or what?"

He gave her space to enter his apartment. She quickly glanced around. It looked… not a completely mess.

"But what are you doing here? In New York, I mean?" - he asked, still acting a little defensive.

"Allen asked me to take care of his dog while he's away, so I'm living on his apartment this week." - he opened his mouth to say something, but she interrupted him: - "Listen, if I knew that you were too busy sleeping, I wouldn't have come here. But I really need your help. Of course I tried to contact him, but he won't pick up, obviously. And I need your help, Damien."

They looked at each other's eyes for a few seconds, before he let out a sigh, crossing his arms.

"Alright. What can I do to help you?"

"I need Allen's Wi-Fi password."

Damien blinked a few times.

"...Do I look like someone who knows this?"

"No. But you've been to his house before, so I bet you have his Wi-Fi saved on your phone. All you need to do is come with me so, as soon as we get there, your phone will automatically connect and you'll tell me what his password is."

"...This actually makes sense." - he confessed after a few seconds staring back at her. Eleanor rolled her eyes.

"Of course. I have a brain too, Nazario. And mine is not drowned on alcohol." - she answered him, before opening the apartment door. - "Now, shall we?" - she said, with a grin.

As Eleanor said, as soon as they stepped on the hall of Allen's apartment, Damien's phone connected to his Wi-Fi. Dipper happily greeted them when they entered, the woman quickly typing the password on her laptop.

"YES!" - she yelled when it connected and soon opened her email.

The man looked around the apartment, feeling a little uncomfortable. It was strange being there with no sign of Allen.

"Uh… so I guess I better go now..."

"And drink until you pass out again? No! Stay here!" - Ellie said, her eyes glued on her computer. - "Make yourself comfortable, I know that's what Allen would have said."

Shit. She knew exactly what to say to convince him.

Hesitantly, he sat down on Allen's couch, with Dipper following him, her tail wiggling.

"Hey girl, calm down." - he awkwardly patted her on the head as she licked his hand. Damien never cared much about pets, but Dipper was a good dog.

He watched Ellie working on her computer sitting by the dinner table, speaking to herself, cursing her boss.

And then, Damien slowly fell asleep.

“Finally! Now I’ll see it only next Monday, when I go back to work!” - Eleanor spoke to herself as she turned the computer off. It took more time than she expected, but at least she was finally free.

And then, she remembered that Damien was there. He had been so quiet that she almost forgot about him.

She looked over her shoulder and saw the man sleeping on the couch, his neck on a strange angle, with Dipper sleeping on his feet. Ellie admired the view for a few seconds.

Yes, Damien Nazario definitely was handsome, even hangover and sleeping.

She carefully sat on the couch next to him. Dipper immediately woke up, her tail wiggling at the woman, who stroked her fur.

“Uh… hey, Damien…” - she said softly, trying to not startle him. - “Damien…?” - she gently squeezed his arm, finally waking him up. He blinked a few times, getting on his surroundings and then his sleepy dark brown eyes fell on her. She smiled. - “Hey. You fell asleep.”

“I… uh…” - he still was tongue tied. It was not every day that he was awakened so gently by a beautiful woman next to him. Eleanor stood up, walking around the living room.

“Why don’t we go grab something to eat? It’s 2 p.m. already and we still haven’t eaten.” - she grabbed her purse. - “Let me pay for your lunch. You know, for helping me. And I feel that we started off on the wrong foot. So consider this my redemption.”

He stood up too and walked towards her.

“You don’t need to; it was the least I could do. And I’m sorry if I was a little rude to you.”

“It’s okay, I was being a little rude myself. Showing at your house like that and demanding for your help. I would be in a bad mood too if I were I your shoes. But I thought Allen would at least had told you about helping me…”

“Well, he was head over heels because of the wedding. I bet he just forgot.” - he saw that mischievous grin on her lips again. - “What?”

“You do like him, uh?”

Damien said nothing, but the shade of red that suddenly raised on his face spoke to him. He simply turned around and opened the apartment door.

“Lunch. Let’s go grab some lunch.” - he said, stepping out on the hallway. Ellie let out an evil laughter before following him.

Damien took them to eat some kebab from a food cart.

“I love how you can find every piece of the world here in New York.” - Eleanor said, eating her own lunch. - “Especially on street food!”

“If you haven’t eaten something from a food cart, then you didn’t have a full New Yorker experience.” - Damien said, feeling satisfied. The kafta was great. - “Thanks for the lunch by the way. I forgot my wallet at home when someone came and kidnapped me.”

Eleanor giggled. He liked the sound of her laughter.

“I’m sorry, okay?!” - he chuckled back. - “But you’re not from here, are you?”

“No. But I’ve been living here for almost seven years. I’m Puerto Rican. And you… you’re not fully Korean, are you? Because of your surname.”

“No, I’m not. My father is Chinese, so this is why my surname is different from Nadia’s and Allen’s. Their fathers are my mom’s brothers.”

“So you’re half-Chinese and half-Korean.” - she nodded. - “Interesting. Nadia is mixed too. Only Allen is fully Korean. Although his parents met each other here.”

“That’s right. What an amazing thing is the globalisation, uh? I love it. Getting to know new places, new cultures, new people.”

They walked down the street, and Damien couldn’t hold back a smile listening to Ellie’s excitement. The more he knew her, the more he was intrigued by Eleanor Zhou, as he first felt when he met Allen and Nadia, six years ago... And the more it was confirmed that she was a Park. She had that cheerful view of life that he always admired on the Parks, even though she seemed more down to earth than her cousins.

“So. Where are we heading to now?”

“I’m going to work.” - he answered her. Those cases weren’t going to solve by themselves.

“I thought you were going to give me a fully New Yorker experience!” - she pouted.

“And I just did. You ate from a food cart. You should go eat a bagel next.”

“Jerk.” - she said and they shared a laugh. Damien felt like it’s been a while since he laughed this much. - “Alright, I guess I’ll have to carry my bags alone. Sigh.”

“You didn’t just said ‘sigh’. Who does it?”

“I do, when I am frustrated. Sigh.” - he chuckled. Eleanor was a little weird, but she was cute too.

Was it another Park trait? How could all of them be so adorably weird?

He hesitated for a second, wondering. Should he do it?

Damien knew that he should turn around and go away.

Don’t get involved with another Park.

“But, uh… maybe we could… go drink tomorrow night. If you feel up to a night out in New York, I mean.” - the words simply came out of his mouth before he could hold them back.

And then, he saw that sly grin on her face again.

“I don’t see why not. Pick me up at nine? On Allen’s apartment.”

“Okay. Uh, I better go now. You have fun shopping.”

“Wait, I better give you my number. Just in case, right?” - she said, stepping closer to him, before he walked away. Her brown eyes shined mischievously.

“Oh. Yeah, sure.” - he grabbed his phone and she told him her number. - “Okay. Uh… you have my number, right?”

“Yeah. See you tomorrow night, Damien.”

And he watched her walking towards the nearby subway station.

He looked down to his hand, her number still glowing on the screen of his phone.

Fuck.

Damien Nazario knew that he was screwed up.

[hanzobarmoustache]

Moonshine Kisses (pt1)

It’s on my ao3 with better formatting but here it is for the tumblr crowd <3

The bell above the entrance rang, alerting her of a customer, but she didn't need to look away from the poultice she was creating to know who it was, his thick accent greeting her seconds before the stench of his cigarillos did, "Howdy, Miss Amari."

Chuckling gently to mask the disappointment - she had been expecting a taller, brawnier, older charismatic fellow - she turned from her worktable to make her way to the counter, settling atop the stool behind the register with a smile. "How many times must I tell you, Jesse? Please call me Ana."

"Pardon me, Ana," Jesse smiled softly, leaning forward on the counter, sleeve rolled up past the elbow, the other pinned up at his shoulder where his prosthesis was missing. Her eyes dropped to the long scar raised along the length of his forearm, still prominently discolored.

She hummed, reaching forward to prod at the scar, carefully watching Jesse for any signs of discomfort. Pleased with her examination, she took her hands back to tidy up a few loose herbs on the counter, speaking as she worked, "Your arm has healed quite nicely. Keeping it clean, I assume?"

"Yes, ma'am. It's been just fine 'cept for some minor aching in the morning. No puss, no fuss."

Ana rolled her eyes at the crude statement, "Very well. I trust you to tell me immediately if something happens."

"I've been around the block before. I know the drill. Trust me, it's a walk in the park compared to this thing," he wriggled the stub of his left arm.

"Odd to see you without it. I assume it is in for repairs?"

"Yep. Torb said it needs intensive repairs." Jesse scratched at his beard, recalling what the blacksmith mentioned about the prosthesis. "Something about how poorly I've treated it for the last, oh, coupla years."

Ana nodded sagely, "Yes, that would do it. Well, then, what brings you here if not for my herbal wisdom?"

"Force o' habit... and, well, as for why I'm here... there's, uh-"

Ana knew that tone well, dealt with it enough in her years to understand the tentative, almost shy nature of those unaccustomed to a topic that unnerved them, who chose to treat it with utmost - at times unnecessary - caution to the point of stagnation. It would not do, having Jesse of all people hold that tone. The man spoke of all natures of things; whatever was on his mind was serious.

She pushed herself off the stool, grabbing her walking stick and starting off to the living quarters behind the storefront. "Would you like some tea?"

Jesse's shoulders drooped, and he nodded. "Yeah, I think that'd help."

"Change the sign to 'closed,' then. I'll get some brewed in just a moment."

Jesse sighed, watching the leaves in his teacup swirl about in the water, dancing around each other like sakura blossoms in the wind.

Ana sipped at her own cup silently, patiently waiting for Jesse to speak. She leaned forward to spoon some sugar into the man's cup, speaking only once the granules dissolved, "Take your time, habibi." She certainly was not prepared for what the man was about to blurt.

"Billy's dying."

Ana blinked, put down her tea, and turned in her chair to properly face Jesse. She placed a hand on his knee, and the words began to pour out.

"He's the oldest wolf Hanzo has running with him. He's not doing too hot, not since winter let up anyway, always taking a lil' too long getting up and down, and his old bones creak something awful. It's pitiful, but I just know he ain't gonna last much longer. I'm just not really sure what to do.

"Back home, it's common to just take old dogs out someplace quiet and shoot 'em, get it over with before they suffer too awful bad. But Billy's not just some mangy mutt picked up on the side of the road. He's Hanzo's family. Hell, the old fart's grown on me, too.

"It ain't like we can put him in hospice or, hell I don't know, retire him to live out the rest of his days as a lapdog. He's a wild animal... I guess I thought you might be able to help. Might be able to give advice, at least."

Ana was quiet a moment, digesting the information Jesse confided in her. She spoke gently, "Unfortunately, I am an herbalist, not a veterinarian. However, if it would put you at ease, I can come visit and have a look at him? If I can do nothing for him, I may at least be able to brew something for the pain."

"Would you be able to...?" Jesse didn't finish his statement.

"If it came to it, yes. So long as Hanzo consented, I could lay the old dog to rest."

Jesse hauled Ana up into a hug faster than she could blink, squeezing tight enough to pop her back. He murmured into hair, "You're a God-damned angel, Ana."

"I do believe those are demons, Jesse," Ana laughed, patting Jesse's back until he released her. She smiled widely, stretching her back, "Let me collect some things, and I'll stop by tomorrow."

"Hell, bring 'Reeha, too. Let's make a night of it. It's been awhile since I've had a proper bonfire, and the weather's perfect for it."

"I don't know if-."

"I've got my own little plot of land up there now, log cabin and everything. Long as I don't burn the forest down, Hanzo won't say a word."

"Jesse, I'm unsure if-."

"C'mon, you've not even seen the place yet. I cleaned it up real nice."

"If you are sure, then I suppose-."

"I'll invite Reinhardt." Jesse winked.

Ana scoffed, pushing at Jesse's chest, "Oh, please. There's no need to bribe me." She huffed and crossed her arms. "If you want a bonfire, you'll have to wait until the weekend. I need time to make something sweet."

"Oh, Ana, I'm sure Reinhardt thinks you're sweet enough."

Ana sneered, "I meant something to appease your sweet-tooth of a lover. I suppose I shall spread the word to Reinhardt and Torb, then?"

"Works for me. Saturday it is! I better go tell 'Reeha the good news."

"She should be down at the beach. She's been spending quite a while down there recently."

"I'll check on her, don't you worry none. She won't be getting into trouble on my watch."

"Thank you, Jesse."

The beach wasn't a short trip from the village, not for the average man. The rolling hills leading down to the water's edge were enough to take the breath from even the most athletic of men, and often a visit to the lovely waves and warm sand was reserved for a lazy summer day where the entire day could be reserved for the sole purpose of enjoying the atmosphere.

Fareeha Amari jogged to the beach every morning to swim. She claimed that swimming was a better workout than even working in Torb's forge, but Jesse wasn't about to believe that for a moment. She was always too giggly when she came back home. It was about time to figure out what the girl was doing so far from home; he only wanted to make sure she was safe.

Or to embarrass the hell out of her if she had found herself a sweetheart.

Jesse stepped onto the sand from the main path, youngest Amari nowhere in sight. Aside from a footstep in the sand, he could have been confident saying no one had been on the beach that day aside from himself. He shook his head, toeing off his shoes and rolling his jeans up to his knees. There was no dry place on the beach that had any semblance of privacy, but Hanzo had shown him a few secluded caves the few times they had explored the beach together. One had to be willing to get their feet wet to get there, but the atmosphere was like nothing else.

In those caves, it was as if nothing else existed, no earthly qualms or problems could reach them, where the air was cool and the only sounds were that of the other's breath and the gentle plip-plop of water droplets falling from the stalactite, where he could get lost in Hanzo's eyes and the feel of his lips, where the sound echoed just right and Hanzo's giggles sounded absolutely divine.

He splashed some cold seawater into his face to will his blush down before poking around looking for Fareeha.

He didn't find her in the few caves closest to the path, didn't find the slightest hint of her even being around aside from that lone footstep. He pushed his jeans as high as they would go and started wading out to the most secluded system Hanzo knew of. Jesse wasn't allowed to go out there normally because Hanzo said he had a friend that lived out there, but Jesse felt like a missing person was reason enough to poke around just a bit more.

He laughed aloud once he made his way to the small, isolated stretch of beach alongside the cave. Folded neatly above the line in the sand carved by high tide, Fareeha's outer clothes rested on a clean rock.

This cave had no entrance to be seen above the water's surface; the only way in was found by swimming ten feet below the waves and crawling through. Jesse recalled Hanzo saying the first time through had been "harrowing" due to the absolute lack of light and sound, as if one was traveling through the infinite, unflinching cosmos.

Jesse wasn't sure if that was an apt description, but he'd never been one for terribly frilly language anyway. He stripped himself, threw his clothes toward Fareeha's, and dove into the water.

It was freezing. He'd been wading through it, but once it encompassed his entire being, the chill pierced through his skin and settled deep in his bones, slowing him as he swam through the water with all the grace of a drowning turkey. He was raised in a desert, he wasn't built for water dammit!

Just when his lungs were about to burst, he found the entrance to the cave and pushed himself through urgently, breaking the surface of the water with a gasp and cough. He frantically caught his breath as his eyes adjusted to the darkness until he could see two vague figures on the other side of the cave pressed close to each other.

Upon hearing smacking and giggling noise, he shouted, hoping to save all of them some embarrassment, "You've got a visitor!"

Fareeha jolted, breaking off from the other woman, floundering uselessly as the unidentified woman - mermaid - rolled over her to assume a defensive position, tail wrapped around Fareeha, arms propping her up, jaw extended and sharp teeth exposed as she hissed, gills flaring.

"God dammit, Jesse!" Fareeha shouted, wriggling free of the mermaid's tail. "What are you doing here?"

The mermaid tilted her head, curious. She relaxed immediately with Fareeha's words, coaxing her to sit back down with the wides puppy-dog eyes Jesse'd ever seen. She wrapped her arms around Fareeha's waist, resting her chin on her shoulder, quietly asking, "You know this man, chand ka tukda?"

"Unfortunately," Fareeha groaned, hiding her face in her hands.

Jesse pushed himself up out of the water, padding over to the two and sitting before them. He offered the mermaid a grin and his hand, "Jesse McCree, nice to meet you, Miss...?"

"Satya Vaswani," she said simply, staring at Jesse's hand as if it were a stinking, dead fish before reluctantly placing her hand in his to shake. She recoiled when he pressed his lips to her knuckles.

"Stop trying to charm my girlfriend!" Fareeha growled, kicking out at Jesse.

"Trust me, it isn't working," Satya deadpanned, pressing her nose into Fareeha's shoulder, wiping the back of her hand off on Fareeha's shorts, "He's so furry."

"You should see his boyfriend," Fareeha grumbled.

"At least Hanzo takes care of himself."

"Girls, I'm sitting right here!"

"Well maybe it'll teach you to not be a peeping Tom!" Fareeha shot back, crossing her arms over her chest much to Satya's amusement. "What are you doing here anyway?"

Jesse gasped, hand flying to his chest, aghast, "I wasn't peeping! Your ma was concerned about you going off all the time, and I was the good Samaritan who - out of the kindness of my heart - went out of my way to locate and ensure the safety of her one beloved daughter! Now I get to tell her the reason you're sneaking off is because you've been seeing someone behind her back."

"Jesse James McCree, you wouldn't dare!" Fareeha's accusation prompted Jesse's brow to jump and a shit-eating grin pull at his lips.

"Oh, but dare I shall!"

"Satya, let me go. I need to kill him," Fareeha whined.

The mermaid scoffed, "You are not getting blood in my cave."

"Why thank you, Miss Vaswani!"

Satya stared at Jesse, lips curling back in a smile that mimicked Hanzo's when he was being devious, "Kill him outside."

Jesse bristled under the girls' predatory gazes, spluttering, "Now hold on just a minute!"

"So, I take it you really like this girl?" Jesse teased as he and Fareeha began the long walk back to the village.

"I'm never living this down, am I?"

"Hell no."

Fareeha shook her head, kicking a pebble as she walked, keeping her eyes glued to the ground instead of risking any eye-contact with Jesse. "Yeah, I do. She just... There's a connection there, and we really understand each other. I know we're from two different worlds, but... I don't know. She's so smart and funny and so so..."

"Beautiful?" The mermaid with her long, dark hair and warm brown skin cut an impressive figure. She knew how to doll herself up with all sorts of golden baubles without appearing tacky, and her cyan scales were absolutely gorgeous against the sand where she waved Fareeha off before disappearing back into the waves with an angelic grace. (Made sense why she was Hanzo's friend. Beautiful, audacious people stuck together apparently.)

"Breathtaking!" Fareeha corrected, a lovely dopey look on her face as she spoke, "I can listen to her talk for hours about the things she builds, and she is beyond ecstatic when I bring her anything to build with. I brought her wood reed a few weeks ago, and we spent all day weaving baskets, and I loved every moment of it!"

"You have it bad."

"I do," Fareeha agreed dreamily, shrugging unapologetically.

"Bet your mom would be real happy to hear all about her."

"No! You can't tell her! She'll kill me if she finds out from you. I have to tell her myself or she'll hate me forever."

"She will not h-."

"Jesse, you do not know my mother. I have to tell her."

"Fine, fine. I won't tell her."

"Thank y-."

"On one condition."

"Miraculously, The loathing I felt for you has returned."

"Don't be like that! All you need to do is bring Satya to the bonfire this weekend. Introduce your mom to your girlfriend, and I'll act like I didn't know a thing."

"You are evil."

"You want me to tell Ana? I'll tell her, cross my heart."

"Fine! I'll bring Satya to your bonfire! She probably wants to see Hanzo anyway and ask him why he's dating you."

"Fareeha!"

"Jesse?" Hanzo asked, his eyes glued to the stamped-down grass where Billy lay, fitfully kicking out in his sleep and smacking Belle in the face with his tail. A sharp look convinced her not to pounce upon him, and she hobbled over to wrestle with the twins instead.

"Yeah, sweetpea?" Jesse looked up from the ground where he'd been reading, marking his page with a piece of grass, smiling gently at the way Hanzo's cheeks still reddened with the pet name.

"You mentioned once that you are cursed." He murmured, watching the siblings sandwich Belle between themselves and playfully nip at her.

Jesse coughed, setting his book aside and crossing his arms, preparing himself for the inevitable conversation that would follow. "That I did. What about it?"

"Would you mind telling me about it? You have no obligation to do so, I was just..."

"Curiosity hits us all, no need to apologize." Jesse pushed himself to his feet with a groan, walking the short distance between himself and Hanzo to plop down next to his friend where he sat upon a rock, the rabbit he had been skinning long forgotten if that distant look in his eyes was anything to go by.

"It may be raw, still. I do not know when you were-."

"Guess I could spin you that tale," Jesse groaned exaggeratedly, stretching his arms to prepare himself for a long story full of gestures. It pulled Hanzo from his funk and brought a laugh to his lips, at least. "Oh, boy, but where to start? Well, s'pose it might be apt to explain what the curse is first. The demon what done cursed me called it 'deadeye,' said it was both a gift and a burden. Thing was horribly full of itself, I tell you what."

"That would be the demon that imprinted on you?"

"Nah, now hold up, don't get all riled up now, hon. Those devils're both long dead. Anyway, uh, to put it bluntly, I see dead people."

"Dead people?" Hanzo echoed, throwing the rabbit carcass in the general direction of the wolves, far too entranced with Jesse's theatrics to bother with his chore.

"Heh, yeah, thanks to this-" Jesse tapped his right eye, the one that was just a slightly darker shade of brown to the untrained eye - "I can see ghosts and the like. Can tell if someone ain't really alive, too. They look kinda... kinda shimmery, like the air over hot asphalt in the middle of summer. And, well, that's more an issue half the time, let me tell you."

"The dead upset you?"

"Well, depends. Sometimes they're loud sons of guns, that's for sure. Not many up here, all things considered. Pretty quiet."

"Many... so there are some spirits lingering here?"

"Yeah, but none with a -how do I put this?- real defined presence, none that are gonna be around for an extended period of time. Those bounty-hunters you killed, one of 'em keeps wailing and making a ruckus. I reckon it's that one you used as a pincushion, but he'll leave soon enough. Ones like him usually don't stick around too long, just long enough to get over their deaths and move on."

"Ah, then there are many types of spirits."

"Yup. Stories are rooted in fact sometimes, and ones about ghosts are no different. Ghosts and poltergeists are different devils, but... I guess I could say that they're kinda like wolves and dogs. Related in their ways, but different enough." Jesse toyed with his lighter, idly searching his pockets for the cigarillos he had run out of.

Hanzo bent down, pulling one of the cigars he'd purchased in town for Jesse out of his bag, handing it over. "There is more to it, isn't there?"

Jesse sighed, nodding, pinching the end of the cigar as he lit it, watched it burn for a moment before taking a drag and speaking, "I've also got a damn fine aim, if I do say so myself, but that can't hold a candle to what this eye of mine can do. Hand me a six-shooter, and throw a few men in front of me. All of them will be dead before they can draw. Comes at a price, of course, but sometimes there's no choice."

"What is the cost?"

Jesse blew out the smoke, letting it dissipate before speaking, "Their souls. I can hit ten men with six bullets, but their souls're taken by the thing that cursed me if I have to shoot without ammo. Damn thing took my natural talent and twisted it for its own gain. Shootin' without bullets can be nice, but... takes a toll on a man."

"Ah." Hanzo was silent, unsure if Jesse would continue. When it was clear the man wouldn't, he took a breath and bumped his shoulder against the other man's. "Seems like a bargain."

Jesse laughed, smiling as he shook his head, "Aw, darlin'. You've got an awful high opinion of me if that's what you're thinkin'."

"You will not prove me wrong."

Jesse's grin met his eyes, and his snicker died as he took another drag from the cigar before offering it to Hanzo. While Hanzo pressed the cigar to his lips, Jesse continued, "Guess I oughta let you know how it all happened, then. Not a whole lotta people come out of the crosshairs of two demons alive. I'm certainly not unscathed, but I'm still breathing.

"I'll start with Deadlock. Now, it was really more of a gang than a coven, but... we had plenty of desert-witches and small-town magic users, but most of us were just plain old human. Everyone learned a lil' bit of magic eventually, little incantations but nothing like big old fireballs thrown from our hands, more like charms and stuff of that sort. I still make a charm on occasion for luck and protection." Jesse paused a moment, tapping the metal decoration on his hat before continuing, "This thing's enchanted, actually. Gabi didn't believe a word of it, but-."

"Gabi?"

"Ah, yeah, my old boss. I think I mighta mentioned him once, actually."

"Oh, right, you called him 'a real mean old fucker' if I can recall."

"Yup, that's the one. Gabriel Reyes. You'd think someone that turned into a bat on occasion would put a little more faith in magic, but what the hell do I know. Anyway, back to Deadlock, I wasn't really as old as some of the others, shitty life led to shitty choices you know, but I was useful enough. Sharp aim, quick wit, pretty hand with protection spells, handsome as I'll get out-."

"I believe the story is muddling behind your ego, Jess," Hanzo chuckled, leaning into his side.

"Heh, alright, alright. I was good enough to get myself a name in the gang in any case, had myself a wanted poster before long, too. 'Course, it didn't have nearly the number of zeros it does now..."

"Modest."

"Always, sunshine," Jesse winked. "Anyway, someone eventually had the bright idea to summon a demon to get some more power, get the gang some more recognition, ask the thing to lend some power for... something. Hell, I don't remember anymore. That damn thing fed on memories, and all the time around it is just fuzzy. I didn't participate in the summoning, the thing killed just about anyone that did before coming on into the gang and doin' as it pleased after setting itself up as kingpin. Might've stuck around a year, maybe three? That was the worst of Deadlock, when that thing was in charge, greedy and hungry as hell. That's when Deadlock switched from robberies, muggings to kidnapping, ransoming, anything and everything that would help fill that sunnova bitch's stomach and pockets.

"People came and went fast through the gang then. Some of 'em died on jobs, but most of 'em lost enough memories to the demon that they were just gone. None of them were real nice folk, but they were nothing after the demon sucked them dry, left them husks of people, bleary-eyed and missing everything but a pulse. Empty.

"I had a friend, someone I might've called my first love if that demon hadn't come through when it did. Seein' them sitting there, idly spinning a revolver out of pure muscle memory and not recognizing me when I walked up, not knowing who I was or even who they were, not reacting to their own goddamn name-" Jesse took a breath, steadying the rapit beating of his heart and the anger that still flared in his chest from that day. He hooked a hand through his hair, staring at his feet through teary eyes. "It felt like they'd been erased, like everything we'd ever been through meant nothing, didn't happen, wasn't real even though I knew damn well it was."

Hanzo took McCree's knee in hand, squeezing gently to ground him again in the present. "What was their name?"

McCree smiled ruefully, shaking his head and snuffing out the cigar on his metallic wrist, "Heh, that's the fucking kicker, that. The demon took that, too. I don't know what it was. Might've started with a K, but I don't know."

"I would never ask you to continue this tale if it upsets you so. It is still raw, but if you don't mind my asking, how were you spared such a fate?"

"It'll always sting, but it's nice to be able to share if you'll believe that." Jesse took off his hat, playing with the brim as he continued, "The demon only took certain things. Preferred nice things, good, wholesome memories.

"I've got a memory of my mother. I'm not... I... she was..."

Hanzo extended his hand, carefully twining his fingers around Jesse's, stroking the back of his hand with his thumb.

"We were eating dinner, tacos, outside on the porch where we could look out over the horizon and watch the sun descend past it. I wasn't too old. Old enough to feed myself but not quite old enough to be neat about it yet. I dropped a taco right into my lap, damn thing spun and landed with all the fixin's face-down and got salsa all over me. Mama laughed so hard she smacked her face with hers and got salsa all over herself, too. I remember how hard my stomach hurt from laughing, where the salsa smeared over her lip and made it look like she had a mustache, how the song the radio was playing - a song I can still sing from memory - drifted out the window... but..." Jesse took a breath." Hanzo, I don't remember what her eyes look like. That demon went through every memory I ever had of her and wiped her beautiful eyes away.

"It was real picky, liked to see what it could take and make outta people when it took things. One of our best fighters, real big guy, died from a fight he should've won because the demon swiped some of the combat training he'd gotten with his dad. Best damn cook there was stated to burn everything because it took her abuela's teachings away. Worst part was, we couldn't tell if it took something from us, could always tell when it happened to someone else though. We only knew if it or someone else told us, but the damn thing loved to rub it in, liked to make us know how miserable it was making us.

"It only took good memories. It said something once about bad memories tasting like ash and cyanide.

"It's the demon that imprinted on me, if that wasn't clear. It was pickier about its favorites, and it took a real shine to me for whatever reason, carefully removed little bits and pieces and shaped me up how it wanted. It recognized a lotta people didn't really like me, and since it never touched sour memories, lots of people got stuck on hate and little else. I can't name all the poor bastards that tried to slit my throat in the middle of the night when the demon fished all the good out of them. I don't know why it didn't... why it didn't treat me like the others. It taught me things, put memories in my head that weren't mine, forced me to know what it feels like to put your mouth on a gushing artery and drink, what it feels like wh-" Jesse cut himself off, glancing to his companion before silencing. The words he had been about to say - when someone's tearing through your guts and chewing on your liver - tasted as bitter as the memory.

"When?" Hanzo pressed, disgustingly intrigued by the horrors Jesse described.

"I'd best not continue with that. If it's all the same to you."

"I... I am here for you, do not forget that," Hanzo murmured in lieu of an apology.

"I know, thank you. Now, this whole operation of the demon callin' the shots fell apart, nowhere soon enough mind you. It got reckless, started taking things people were gonna miss. People with money and power and the ability to do something about it. And that's where... no, wait, I was... I was cursed before that. Shit, I mixed the two up somehow. I'm sorry, I told you it's all fuzzy, guess it's jumbled too."

"You do not need to tell it as it happened, Jesse. If it is easier, tell it as you remember. Or do not tell it at all. It has stressed you enough for one day if you would prefer to leave it for now."

"No, I'm gonna tell you. I've just gotta get it straight, that's all. I'll get through this then talk about the other demon. If there's still time in the day."

Quietly, Hanzo clicked his tongue twice, pulling Belle from the bottom of the cuddle-pile she and the twins had formed. She hopped over to the men, making herself at home over their laps, presenting her stomach to not-so-subtly demand the worship she deserved. Always weak to her demands, Jesse dutifully began to scratch her stomach in that special spot that sent her tail a-wagging and her left hindleg a-jerking.

"When the demon got too big for its britches, someone called in a sort of supernatural defense force, government made up of supernaturals meant to deal with supernaturals: Blackwatch. All very hush-hush, not completely legal. They started breaking up little hideouts, flushin' Deadlock back to the main base, cuttin' off portions and hauling everyone they could off to jail while disposin' of those too far gone. Naturally, this royally pissed off the demon, and just prompted it to send off more people to get more troops. It used up too much energy, got hungry and started killing when it fed. Thing wasn't smart by any stretch.

"Now, none of us were really thralls, not under anything but the fear of it, and fear only grew when Blackwatch was around. The thing was sloppy, losing ground and losing people, and it didn't take long for Blackwatch to come knockin' at the main base. They came in with probably... I dunno, six people for the rest of us. None of us realized 'till they'd already dealt with the crew on the first floor.

"I was up on the third, right before the demon's office, put in charge of a whole group of people that were just room-temp if you catch my meaning.

"Gabriel came up to my floor, alone in a puff of smoke, two shotguns in his hands, just blastin' away. I was scared as hell, never'd seen something like him before, thought another demon had shown up and I was caught between the two of 'em. So I just returned fire, throwing off shots like my life depended on it because for all I knew, it did. Didn't land most of them because he was all ghostly incorporeal smoke for the most part, but then he materialized right in front of this kid named Annie -if I ain't mistaken- and he brought up a hand and just crushed her neck, watched how her eyes just barely glazed over 'cause there wasn't much left in her anyway. And I took the opportunity as it presented itself and fired." Jesse brought up a hand, mimicked the shape of a gun and made a little 'pchew' noise before dropping it to tap at his jaw, "Hit right in his ear. He flopped down, and I thought it was over, and then he was scrabbling on the floor and tearing at Annie's neck and his damn brain was on the ground but it crawled back to him when he pressed his mouth to her neck and-." Jesse cut himself off, coughing. "And then he vanished, and then he was in my face and I screamed and tried to shoot him again. And he took my gun away, half-eased half-pushed me down to the floor, said something into his comm, and started off for the demon, leaving me there, absolutely confused.

"And I, like the dumbass I am, floundered to my feet and followed him. He was going to shoot, but I opened up my fat mouth before he could level his shotgun with my chest, pointed him directly to the demon, warned him about some of the traps it'd set up. He didn't get why I was tellin' him, that I wanted it dead as much as - hell, more than - anybody. So Gabriel just laughed at me, told me thanks in his own way, and misted through the door.

"Prolly shoulda listened to me. The bastard set off the first trap as soon as he walked through the door, nearly got his head cut from his shoulders.

"Now, the demon was about as happy as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. It went absolutely ballistic, launched itself at Gabriel. It wasn't speaking, just garbling and screaming as it fought against him. I'm not really sure why, but I pulled the door open a bit to watch. Guess I wanted to see the demise of it, get some twisted relief when I could see it stop twitchin' for myself.

"Instead, I saw Gabriel wrestlin' with it, not really winning or losing but losing steam. The bullet I'd hit him with had taken its toll. The demon was fadin' too, but not as fast as Gabriel. And it kicked out, knocked loose something on Gabriel that spun across the ground to the door where I was. It was my gun, and I realized I could just pick it up and shoot. So I did, and it was like they knew it, too.

"They both looked at me, the demon all excited 'cause it thought I was going to help it out and shoot the vampire it was grappling with, Gabriel's eyes wide and a string of curses flyin's outta his mouth where he called himself an idiot... I'm never gonna forget how scared the demon looked when it noticed I was aiming for it.

"Gabriel just stood up after, all calm while the demon's body withered up, curled around itself and turned to ash. I was still holding the gun when the rest of his crew busted in. One of 'em tackled me. I got a scar from it, actually, where she ripped into my shoulder while holding me down..."

   Gabriel stared down at the sight before him, one of his subordinates pressing a dirty teenager into the ground mere feet away from the disintegrating corpse of a demon. The kid howled, bucking against the soldier's hold even when it began to draw blood, cursing Gabriel, "¡Eres un pedazo de mierda!"  

   Gabriel laughed, crouching down next to the gangly, malnourished brat that wore too much leather and too many spikes, asked, "¿Como te llamas, chico?" Something was up with this kid, something that made him keep most of his good sense while under the rule of one of the worst mind-consumers Gabriel had ever seen, something that made him able to shoot Gabriel, that made the kid watch a scuffle between a demon and vampire and had him pick up his gun and fire instead of crawling up into a ball like the few other survivors Blackwatch had found, that actually made him hit home even while he was shaking. Gabriel was sure some of his subordinates didn't even have such fantastic aim to land a bullet in a demon's head.  

   The man reached out, examined a patch on the boy's jacket that indicated a higher rank in the gang. Most of the others Gabriel had seen were practically robots for all they could recall, everything but programmed to fulfill the demon's wishes. But not this one. Maybe the vampire could squeeze some answers out of the boy about this whole mess.  

   "¡Se ayudé!¡Se ayudé, su hijo de puta!" The boy spat, accusing Gabriel of betrayal, wriggling as best as he could beneath Private Elisa. He wasn't going anywhere.  

   Though none of his strike team were vampires like himself, Gabriel's crew was stronger than the brat, well-fed, well-rested, cared for in the way soldiers constantly sent on suicide missions were.  The most the little shit was going to do was bruise himself. Eliza pressed his face into the floor, slurring his speech slightly against the concrete.  

   "Tranquilo, chico. No vamos duarte... más." Gabriel straightened up, picking up the revolver that had been thrown from the boy's reach. He stifled a laugh at the growl it pulled from the boy, turning his back to examine the weapon as he ordered Elisa, "Cuff him."  

   Elisa took a moment to find her cuffs - they weren't exactly standard-issue in this branch - and locked them none too gently around the boy's wrists. He practically hissed, "Let go of me! I wasn't going to hurt him, let me go dammit!"  

   "Shut the hell up!" Elisa snapped, hauling him to his feet.  

   Gabriel held back a grin, "Simmons, get the team ready for extraction. You five are done here."  

   Elisa raised a brow, gesturing to the boy that continued to growl in her grip, "What about the kid?" She asked, scowling as he struggled against her.  

   Gabriel blinked and cracked his knuckles. "Little shit shot me. I think we need a little time to talk."  

   "We'll send you the extraction time. You want us to call the local authorities to clean up this mess?" Simmons, a somewhat shorter fellow, asked, rubbing the butt of his gun with his glove to wipe away some blood.  

   "I'll handle it. Now get out."  

   "Yes, sir." Simmons led the way out, and Elisa roughly released the boy, keeping herself facing him until she was out the door. It slammed shut with a hollow bang.  

   The boy's shoulders slumped, and he wriggled his wrists, feeling the handcuffs dig into his skin. "Ya gonna bust me up now? Make yerself feel like a big, tough guy? Ya really need to do that to feel all high 'nd mighty when you're already head honcho?"  

   "You have quite the mouth on you," Gabriel muttered, stepping over what remained of the demon's corpse to stand in front of its chair. He stared at it a moment, wiped some weird goop off the seat, and sat himself down, reclining quite comfortably in the worn leather. He kicked his feet up onto the desk, "Now, I seem to remember asking you a question. What's your name, kid?"  

   The boy glared at him a moment longer, fingers curling into the cuffs on his wrists. He wasn't exactly accustomed to wearing them; though, he'd been in his fair share in the early days of Deadlock, before the demon. When it felt like people cared. But maybe it was just easier to get people outta jail than find new blood. He sighed, "McCree."  

   "First name?"  

   "Does it matter? Way you were talkin', don't seem like I'll be using it much longer."  

   "Answer the question."  

   "Jesse," the boy grunted like it was killing him, stepping forward to right a chair that had fallen during Gabe's tussle with the demon, sitting on it with his chest against the backrest. "And who the hell're you?"  

   "Gabriel Reyes, Blackwatch Commander. You're in some deep shit, Jesse."  

   "Spare me the lecture. What d'ya want? Y'ain't killed me yet, but y'don't seem like a real patient sort of fella either."  

   "I want to ask a few questions about this whole situation, about your demon and why you betrayed it."  

   Jesse scoffed, rolling his eyes before pressing further into his chair, "Psh, alright, fine. Can't promise anything, but go on 'nd shoot."  

   "Why is that?"  

   "Thing-" Jesse kicked at the ashes "-are memories. Everything went fuzzy after it showed up. Not so much for me, but plenty enough for all my compadres out there. You saw how much was left of them after the demon had its way with 'em."  

   Gabriel had seen, first hand, but that didn't clear up a damn thing. "What makes you any different?"  

   Jesse shrugged, "Guess you vampires ain't real sensitive to magic, huh?"  

   "Depends."  

   Jesse hummed, stretching his legs out in front of himself, "Now I ain't about to say this like I'm proud of it or nothin', but I was its favorite. And I reckon that's on account of my being cursed."  

   "Cursed," Gabriel echoed, thoroughly intrigued. Now that he was paying attention, he did recognize the acrid air that seem to twist around the boy, the thick and suffocating aura that came with dark magics. It was slight, no doubt intentionally masked, but present still. "You've got a masking spell at work. Not of the demon, then."  

   Jesse shrugged again, bringing his hands around and spinning the cuffs around a finger while the opposite hand tucked the lockpick back into the slit of his belt where it belonged, He tossed the cuffs to the desk between them and fiddled with a ring of twine around his finger, "Nah, that was me. Just a charm, really, but I guess it's all the same."  

   Gabriel couldn't find it in himself to even pretend to be angry. He sat up, resting his clasped hands on the desk after retrieving Elisa's cuffs. "You hungry, kid?"  

   "Guess I could eat. Why?"  

   "There was a diner a ways down the road. I don't have the best memory on an empty stomach. Do you?"  

   "Nah, don't s'pose I do... y'know, they have the best chocolate milkshakes?"  

   "Do they?"  

   "Yeah."  

   "Well, c'mon then. ETA's thirty minutes." Gabriel led the way out of the warehouse, politely keeping his mouth shut when Jesse lingered a moment to spit on the demon's corpse and collect his meager belongings.  

   He did let Jesse throw the lighter that sent the place up in flames, though. That seemed to cheer him up a bit. 

"And that seems to be about all there is to it," Jesse murmured, rubbing circles against Belle's jaw as the wolf grumbled, content.

Hanzo wordlessly reached over to curl his arms around Jesse's shoulders, rolling the wolf off their laps to land in the dirt with a confused borf. He pressed his face into Jesse's neck, fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt to hold him close.

Jesse smiled, returning the gesture and murmuring into Hanzo's hair, "Love you, too."

"Does it hurt?" Jesse asked suddenly, too quickly for Hanzo to comprehend focused as he was smoothing a small amount of oil along the length of his bow.

"Hmm?" Hanzo looked up from his task, wiping his slippery fingers on a spare rag before closing the container and pointing to the string that sat by Jesse in the shade, narrowly catching Jesse's eyes lingering where his pack lazed in the shade of a tree, gnawing upon the bones of what was once a sickly fawn.

Jesse handed the string over, returning his gaze to Peacekeeper where she lay in his lap, rubbing a cloth against her barrel to buff out an unseen spot of dirt. "Changing. Going canine. Does it hurt?"

He twisted the string between his fingers for a moment, quiet as he measured the length necessary to restring Stormbow, remembered the deep ache in his bones from constantly shifting between forms. He opened his mouth and lied, "Once, when I was young. Every time it was agony. I am unsure if I have grown numb or accustomed to it. I am unsure which is worse."

"Oh, that's... that's good."

Hanzo raised a brow, confused, "Good?"

"That is doesn't hurt you anymore, at least." Jesse shrugged, spinning Peacekeeper in his hand before resting her back in her holster. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "Just don't like the thought of you hurting yourself every time you wanna run with your wolves or switch back to livin' on two legs."

Smiling gently, Hanzo rubbed a bit of wax into his bow string and stood, grabbing both his quiver and Jesse's hand, "Come."

"Hey, hold up now!" Jesse snatched his hat from the stone he'd been sitting on, plopping it on his head before matching Hanzo's hurried pace. "Where're you taking me?"

"Someplace where you won't think so hard."

"Wha-? Now I was just-!"

"Being far too sweet for your own good," he finished for the other man, "You do know of my sweet-tooth, do you not?"

"Sweetheart, I don't think there's a soul on this mountain that doesn't know of your boundless appetite for all things saccharine. Think I'd die a happy man if you'd devour me, though."

Hanzo sputtered, turning away from Jesse nowhere near fast enough to hide the flush on his cheeks. It only worsened with Jesse's hearty laughter. Growling, Hanzo promptly pivoted on his heel, pressing a kiss to Jesse's cheek and murmuring, "Later," to shut him up.

"Sir, yes sir," Jesse chuckled, following Hanzo until the elder stopped in a clearing he didn't recognize. Not that he'd really explored the forest much after winter passed; there'd been no need. He only needed to follow the paths he'd worn from his cabin to Hanzo's cave, the river, and the main road. There was no need to wander and get himself lost in the brush, not now when everyone in town knew him, when he didn't need to hide from them.

It wasn't a wide clearing, but it was long, intentionally so as if someone had fell the trees into an oblong shape. Where the two stood, it was shaded, would be for the majority of the day, but the other end of the area stood fully in the sun, nary a shadow cast over it.

"Wait just a moment," Hanzo spoke, pressing his hand against Jesse's chest to make him stay before disappearing into the woods at the opposite side of the clearing.

Jesse huffed, looking over his shoulder to see someone'd followed them into the clearing. "Hey, Billy. What're you up to?"

The elderly wolf growled at Jesse's question, convincing the man to refrain from offering to scratch the mangy thing in that one spot on his back that just sent his rear leg wild, and wobbled to a thick patch of grass in the shade before plopping down.

"Stubborn old man," Jesse grumbled.

"What did you call me?" Hanzo asked playfully, hauling something  into the sunny area and affixing it to a sturdy but bare sapling. He adjusted the rope around the straw amalgamation, carefully pressing what looked like some sort of goggles back into place in its head and straightening out its overalls.

"I was talking to Mr. Kid over here." Jesse threw his thumb behind himself, pointing out the wolf where he lay, legs kicked up in the air where he'd fallen asleep in a pretzel-eque shape.

"Of course you were," Hanzo joked drily, making his way back to Jesse's side.

"Now, take no offense to this, but what the hell is that thing you just tied up to that tree?"

"My target?"

"Don't tell me you made that thing."

"Oh, please. It washed up on the beach three summers ago, and my friend beseeched me to rid her of its hideous appearance on her property. It's shaped enough like a human to be an adequate target, and the straw refuses to decay for whatever reason," Hanzo added under his breath, taking his bow from where it rested on his back and testing the draw.

"Uh-huh... Creepy as hell, whatever it is," Jesse muttered, squinting at the thing from where he stood behind and to the left of the archer. (Best not to be directly behind anyone firing a weapon in his experience,)

"Absolutely. Reeks of explosions and rust," Hanzo mused, nocking an arrow and drawing back the string of his bow.

"Certainly looks like it just made its way out of a fire."

Hanzo laughed and released the arrow. It flew true, impaling the target through the chest. Pleased with his weapon, Hanzo handed it over to Jesse and ushered the taller man into the space he just occupied.

"The draw may be a bit more than you are accustomed, but you will adjust to it. Spread your legs a bit more, stand straight, take a deep breath and-."

Jesse loosed the arrow before Hanzo could finish, sending it spiraling through the air to lodge deep in the target's stomach and scratch against the sapling supporting it.

"You have done this before, then?" Hanzo, amused, teased, retreating to Billy's side to watch while petting the wolf.

Jesse was silent, testing the bow with another shot that went wide to understand its particular nature before nocking a third arrow and speaking with the string drawn to his cheek, "Mama McCree knew a thing or two about this. Best archer I've ever seen. Absolutely terrifying on horseback, I tell you what." His fingertips slid free of the string, and the arrow flew into the target's neck with enough force to shake it and the sapling.

"I have never had the opportunity to shoot from horseback. She must have been a fantastic marksman."

"Oh, phenomenal. Mounted archery's a whole different beast, having to account for the horse below you, worrying about leading the damn thing in the right direction and shooting straight. I'd prefer my six-shooter, but in a pinch I know my way around a bow." Jesse flinched when his next arrow landed next to Hanzo's where a heart would be in a living being. He swore he heard a whine, but it must have been the bowstring.

Hanzo rolled his eyes, "I never thought I would see the day. You? Humble?"

"Yeah, yeah, yuck it up. I'm just saying that 'cuz I'm standing here with Robin Hood behind me."

"Oh, believe me, he cannot hold a candle to my skill." Hanzo stood with a groan, clicking his tongue to encourage Billy to follow suit. "I'll get supper started. I trust you to collect the arrows."

"You do that. Maybe next time you can have a go at it with Peacekeeper?"

"I look forward to it." Hanzo pressed forward to kiss Jesse quickly before walking off with Billy back toward their home, leaving Jesse to gather the arrows and put that target wherever it was supposed to be.

Jesse picked his way over the clearing to the thing's side, whistling as he set about easing the arrows out of the burlap.

He stopped abruptly when the thing released a noise like an age-old crypt door easing open for the thick, acrid stench of death and decay to flood out. Pausing, Jesse gave the thing a thorough look-over, but he was unable to see anything damning the thing to any supernatural origin. He steeled himself and peered into its thick goggles.

He wasn't sure if he imagined that sentient orange flicker where an eye would be, but he wasn't sticking around long enough to find out. He wrenched the last arrow out of the thing's stomach and hauled ass out of the clearing, pretending that impish laughter taunting him as he ran was just the wind whistling past his ears.

[asthmaticjedi]

hey it's valentine's day, sort of! happy valentine's day to @dangerousvirgin, who requested old men dancing in the moonlight, jack picking up gabe and spinning him around in a lover’s embrace, and maximum cheese! event was organized by the lovely people of @r76valentines

cross posted on ao3 here!

beta’d by the amazing @principles ;3;

“First pet.”

“You already know the answer to that.”

“Even if I do know, I reiterate.” Gabriel pinned him with an unamused look. “First pet.”

Jack sighed and draped himself over the log he claimed as a bench. “Golden retriever named Bailey. And admit it, you’re running out of questions.”

Gabriel shrugged, and Jack took the moment of silence to admire the way the moon and starlight lit up his features. For once, he was glad for Gabriel’s no-artificial-light-at-camp rule. “You got anything better to ask for round six of twenty questions?”

“Fair point.” Jack fiddled with the stick he’d been trying to whittle and squinted at it. If he tilted his head a little to the right and held it juuuuust right, it sort of looked like a hedgehog. “Favorite music genre?”

“Jazz and EDM. First dance?”

“You’re asking a lot of ‘first’ questions,” Jack remarked. Gabriel gave him a smile.

“Just answer the damn question.” Jack thought for a moment and felt a smile spread across his face.

“Fifth grade, my grade school.” Jack sighed dreamily. “Lucas Rogers and I snuck out and held hands until Mrs. Adams found us and dragged us back to the gym. Best hour and a half of my life.”

“That’s not what you said last week when I let you detonate that omnium,” Gabriel accused.

Jack laughed. “Fair enough. Top five, then. And I’m not saying the order, so you can’t ask that for your next question.”

“Damn.”

Jack squinted. “Now I’m curious. What’s your first dance?”

“Preschool. My moms wanted me to do piano lessons so I asked if we could compromise for ballet.”

“That is…” Amazing. Fantastic. Perfect, just like you. “Not what I expected from someone leading an international military operation.”

“I get that a lot,” Gabriel snickered. “Alright, next question. Is your shining dance career sufficient preparation for Ana demanding a dance from all of us at her wedding?”

“Wait, she was being serious about that?” Jack scrambled and hit his shoulder against the log.

“Yeah.” Gabriel covered his mouth with his hand and Jack glared at him. Rude. “And I don’t think she’d appreciate a farm boy stepping on her Louboutins the French Prime Minister and her wife gave her. Rumor has it the PM picked them out herself.”

“Ana’s the worst,” Jack whined.

“Ana’s pretty much the reason we’re all still alive,” Gabriel countered. “I think one dance at her own wedding isn’t much to ask.”

“Debatable,” he muttered.

Gabriel squinted. “You can dance, right?”

“Yeah, of course I can.” Not. Gabriel broke out laughing.

“Oh god, you can’t dance, can you?” he wheezed. “Don’t lie to me, dude, because I’m going to make you prove it to me if you try to give that bullshit again.”

Jack glared at him. “Fine. I can’t dance for shit. Are you happy now?”

“Kind of.” Gabriel gave him a shiteating grin. “Want me to teach you how to be a half-decent dance partner so Ana doesn’t spend her wedding night in jail or hiding your corpse?”

Jack nibbled on his bottom lip. On one hand, dancing with his commander wouldn’t be any help for his (metastasizing) crush. On the other hand, Gabriel did have a point and Jack would hate to make Ana’s wedding memorable for all the wrong reasons. Ana was terrifyingly competent at whatever the hell she wanted to do.

“Fine.” Jack heaved himself up and offered his hand to Gabriel with the best bow he could muster. “May I have this dance?”

“Slow it, farm boy.” Gabriel rummaged through his duffle bag. “You can’t expect me to dance without music.”

“Of course.” Jack rolled his eyes in (what he hoped was) an affectionate manner. “We can’t expect our prima donna to dance without his orchestra.” He peered over Gabriel’s shoulder and squinted. “Really? Ella Fitzgerald? You’re such a sap.”

“Girls love it. According to my, uh, women-attracted friends.” Gabriel tapped the screen and stood up. “You ready?”

“As I’ll ever be,” Jack sighed. One ticket to disasterville it was, then.

“Alright then.” Gabriel’s smile glinted in the moonlight. “Show me what you’ve got.”

Jack tried not to gulp as he gingerly placed his hands on Gabriel’s hips and swayed awkwardly to the music, standing as far away from Gabriel as he possibly could. This was a terrible idea.

“You are the promised kiss of springtime that makes the lonely winter seem long…” the music player sang.

“Seriously?” Gabriel snickered. “You’re going to be dancing with Ana at her wedding, not a middle school dance.”

“You offered to teach me, not to make fun of me,” Jack pouted. “Teach me, maestro.”

Gabriel laughed again. “Okay, so your left hand goes here, and you hold onto my left hand. Got it?”

“Yeah,” Jack breathed. He privately hoped that his face wasn’t nearly as red as it felt or that Gabriel could feel how clammy his hands were.

“You are the breathless hush of evening that trembles on the brink of a lovely song…”

“Alright, you’re going to be leading me, which basically means what it sounds like,” Gabriel directed. “Use your hands to nudge me in the direction you want me to go to, and just… go with the flow.” Jack nodded and stepped back and forth, trying to follow the lilting beat of Ella’s voice.

“You are the angel glow that lights the stars…”

“Jesus Christ, dude,” Gabriel wheezed in between peals of laughter, “you have the worst moves and sense of rhythm I’ve ever seen, like, ever. And I taught toddlers beginning ballet in college.”

“I’m trying,” Jack said petulantly.

“The dearest things I know are what you are…”

“Okay, okay,” he relented. “Don’t be scared to move around your space. Or to move more than two steps in the same direction.”

“Asshole.”

“And yet we’re moving in more than one direction,” Gabriel teased. He moved his hand to the top of Jack’s shoulder. Jack tried not to blush too much. “Relax your shoulders. You’re dancing, not being interrogated. And quit looking at your feet, it’ll look like you’re looking down her dress.”

“Maybe I’m nervous that I’m being judged by my jackass commanding officer and stepping on his feet,” Jack muttered traitorously. “Or my terrifying second in command.”

“You’re a special operations military squad. Everyone is going to judge you. Also, be a little more firm with your hands when you’re leading.”

“Someday, my happy arms will hold you, and someday, I’ll know that moment divine, when all the things you are are mine!”

“Like this?” Jack winced as he practically pushed Gabriel so they were almost touching.

“Pro tip.” Gabriel grimaced. “Try to keep your fingers as flat as possible so you don’t dig your fingers into Ana’s waist. I have a feeling she’ll be less forgiving than me.”   

“Flat fingers.” Jack nodded. “Like this?”

“Yeah, that’s great.” Jack didn’t know it was possible to blush more. “Okay, I think you’re ready for twirls, girls love that shit. What you need to do is raise your right arm and twist it like this and… Nice!” Gabriel grinned and Jack temporarily forgot how to breathe. “You’ve successfully twirled me.”

“Well,” Jack stuttered, “I’m only as good as my teacher.” Smooth, Morrison.

“Flattery will get you nowhere.” Dammit.

“You are the angel glow that lights the stars, the dearest things I know are what you are...”

“Okay, now lead into a twirl. Nice.” Jack ducked his head, hoping Gabriel wouldn’t notice the full body flush that was currently flooding his entire body. “Okay, do you wanna learn a move that everyone will be super impressed with?”

“Sure.” Shoot me now if it’s what I think it is.

“Someday, my happy arms will hold you, and someday, I’ll know that moment divine…”

“Alright, I’m gonna show you how to dip your partner.” Now would be a great time for a surprise omnium attack. Like, any minute now. “Alright, what you want to do is lunge to the side, but make sure you keep both feet on the ground.”

“Uh huh,” Jack said, trying to keep the panic out of his voice. “And then?”

“Okay, I’m going to pivot aaaaand… Wait, keep a good grip on me, otherwise…” Gabriel yelped and slipped onto the dirt ground, inadvertently dragging Jack down with him.  

“...when all the things you are are mine!”

Abort, abort, Jack panicked, wincing as gravel dug into his left arm. Suddenly, he found himself on top of Gabriel, their noses almost brushing. “Um. Hi.”

“Hey,” Gabriel said in a dangerously high voice, his face noticeably turning pink. “So, uh…”

“Fancy seeing you down here,” Jack laughed nervously. “You come here often?”

“I try not to, since. You know.” Gabriel gestured around himself. “It’s the ground.”

“Yeah…” Their noses were definitely touching now. Oh god, it’s happening. It’s definitely happening. Breath, Morrison, stay calm, hyperventilating isn’t attractive.

“Gentlemen!”

Gabriel yelped and shoved Jack off of him. Jack screeched as his head banged uncomfortably against the ground. “Ana!” Jack said hysterically. “Hey, girl, my dude, how’s it’ going? What’s up?”

“Couldn’t sleep, so I went for a stroll to double check the perimeter,” Ana said with a bright grin. “Everything’s clear, by the way. Just thought you should know.”

“Great! Excellent!” Gabriel smiled and tried to pull himself up on the log.

Ana leaned against a nearby tree and raised an eyebrow, the smirk on her face getting wider. “I wasn’t interrupting anything, was I? It looked like you two were in the middle of something, but I couldn’t tell what was going on.”

“Nope! Nothing happening at all,” Jack said in a totally normal and calm voice.

“Well then, I’m sure you’d be happy to know that I can relieve you from keeping watch now.”

Jack frowned. “We don’t change shifts until another half hour.”

“But you two look so exhausted, and I’d hate our commander to not be sharp for our op tomorrow,” Ana crooned. “Please, Gabriel, get some sleep. And you too, Jack.”

“You’re not taking no for an answer, are you?” Gabriel groaned.

“Not at all.” There was her signature shiteating grin. “Go on, time to sleep. In your separate tents. Preferably now.”   

“Demon,” Gabriel muttered under his breath.

“Sorry, Gabriel, I didn’t catch that, can you repeat what you just said?” Ana called.

“I said ‘good night,’ Ana!” Gabriel shouted over his shoulder. “G’night, Jack,” he said in a softer tone, flashing a small smile in Jack’s direction. “You owe me a dance at Ana’s wedding too, now.”

Jack laughed quietly. “Night, Gabe.”

The camp fell into the comfortable silence, save for the quiet rustling of leaves and Ana’s footsteps against the forest ground. He glanced around his empty tent, almost expecting one of his teammates to give him a knowing look and heckle him for the dopey grin on his face.

Maybe, if (when, he chastised himself) they make it to see Ana’s wedding, when the music has gone soft, Jack would hesitantly pull Gabriel in closer and search his eyes for any resistance, and if there wasn’t any, he’d softly sing the song Gabriel played for them, his voice anxious but earnest.

“Someday, my happy arms will hold you, and someday, I’ll know that moment divine,” he’d murmur, relishing in the way Gabriel melted into his arms. “when all the things you are are mine…”

The dream -- nightmare, really -- wasn’t anything out of the ordinary for him, but it didn’t change the way his heart pounded or the fact that he couldn’t seem to get enough air in him, even though his chest heaved in exertion. What did the doctor tell him to do again…?

Right. It is… He checked the alarm clock on his bed stand. ...oh-three hundred forty two, I am in Overwatch Watchpoint: Gibraltar, and my name is Gabriel Reyes. A few more deep breaths, aaaaaand…

Well. That was taken care of, but he sure as hell wasn’t going back to sleep any time soon. He wasn’t exactly in the headspace to go to the practice range, so a walk around the base and some fresh air it was.

The walk itself was peaceful. Some of the younger agents were still up, but they barely spared him a glance as he passed by. Late night wandering was pretty common anyways, considering that nearly everybody on the team came from a military background. The roof of the central command center was blissfully empty, too, so Gabriel didn’t feel nearly as bad setting up his portable record player and lighting up a cigarette.

“Thought you were telling me that those things were going to kill me if my own stupidity wasn’t going to beat me to the punch.”

“Still stand by that statement, Morrison,” Gabriel called lazily behind him. “But until Ziegler and O’Deorain figure out how to unfuck my body, I’m gonna taking advantage of my nanite smoke monster form in every way possible.”

“Didn’t think nicotine would have an effect on you.”

Gabriel shrugged. “I like the warmth.”

“If you say so,” Jack snorted and joined him on the ledge. But not too close. “You’re giving me secondhand smoke, though. Didn’t your high school health class teach you about it?”

“You’re joking, right? I got extra lessons about smoking and how tobacco companies target certain backgrounds.” Gabriel rolled his eyes. “What do you want, Jack?”

“Really? ‘What do you want?’” he snapped. “I’m not allowed to check up on my sort-of estranged husband when I see him wandering around base at almost four in the morning?”

“You forgot the part where your ‘sort-of estranged husband’ used to try to kill you and destroy this particular base,” Gabriel said dryly. “We’re not exactly on the same terms we used to be on, anyways.”  

“I guess,” Jack conceded. “But I do genuinely want to check up on you.”

“Why?”

Jack shrugged. “We’ve been trying to reconcile and try to rekindle our relationship for the past few months, despite everything that’s happened to us. And last time I checked, people who at least kind of like each other make sure the other is doing okay.”

“Well.” Gabriel spread his arms. “I’m not dissociating, so that counts, right?”

“Not really.” Jack swung his feet. “Wanna talk about it?”

“There’s nothing to talk about, really,” he admitted. “Same PTSD we’ve had for the past thirty or so years. Just need a distraction for a half hour or so before I can stand being in my own head.”

“Need space?”

Gabriel considered it for a moment as he tapped the ash off the cigarette with the ledge. “Nah. Being around a warm body is nice sometimes.”

Jack nodded and they fell into a companionable silence for a little while. Gabriel supposed the combination of the cigarette smoke, the fresh ocean breeze, the quiet crooning of the record player, and Jack’s easy presence was helping a little more than he’d care to admit.

“Hey.” Jack nudged Gabriel when the record player changed into something upbeat and familiar. “Remember when you taught me how to not completely make an ass out of myself at Ana’s wedding to this song?”

“You are the promised kiss of springtime that makes the lonely winter seem long…”

“You mean the night where my subordinate, whom I had a massive crush on, dropped and almost kissed me?” Gabriel said sarcastically. “Doesn’t ring a bell.”

“Dick,” Jack muttered.

“Shut up, I’m trying to be funny.”

Jack ignored that. “Wanna go for a round two? I hear human touch and light exercise are great during times of emotional distress.”

“Does round two involve you dropping me on the ground? If so, then absolutely not.”

Jack rolled his eyes. “Believe it or not, I’ve actually improved since then. C’mon, let me take care of you for once.” Jack’s voice almost sounded like he was pleading. “Dance with me?”

“You are the breathless hush of evening that trembles on the brink of a lovely song...”

Gabriel stubbed the cigarette against the ledge and stood up. “Sure. Why the hell not?”

Jack smiled and pulled Gabriel close to him, close enough for Gabriel to smell the faint odor of whiskey. “When was the last time we had a moment like this? Just us. No politics, no wars or uprising looming over our shoulders.”

“Never.” Damn, Jack wasn’t lying about improving over the past few years. “We never had anything close to a conventional relationship.”

“You are the angel glow that lights the stars, the dearest things I know are what you are…”

“You think now would be too late to try?”

God, what I wouldn’t give to start over and have a normal relationship with Jack. “I don’t know if we ever could,” Gabriel admitted. “For starters, we’re both legally dead. Second, I’m literally a cloud of nanites in the approximate shape of a human being.”

“Someday, my happy arms will hold you, and someday, I’ll know that moment divine...”

Jack laughed as he sent Gabriel into a twirl, and Gabriel almost felt like they were in their early thirties, newly married, ready to take on the world. “As normal as we can make it, then.”

“...when all the things you are are mine!”

“I’d like that,” Gabriel admitted. “Despite everything, there’s always probably going to be a part of me that will always love you.”

“Me too,” Jack said quietly. “I know we can’t go back to what we had before, but…”

“But,” Gabriel prompted.

“I’ll take what I can get,” Jack said. “Especially when what I can get is way more than what I deserve.”

“It’s more than I deserve, too,” Gabriel insisted.

Jack shrugged. “You spent a little over twenty years emotionally supporting me when I was Strike Commander. It’s about time I stop being a shitty husband and repay the favor.”

“I was hardly the perfect husband,” Gabriel snorted.

“You are the angel glow that lights the stars, the dearest things I know are what you are…”

“Still a better husband than me,” Jack muttered.

“It’s not like you’re coming in without any baggage, either,” Gabriel pointed out.

“I didn’t spend the last few years being turned into a vape monster and thinking my own husband, estranged or otherwise, turned his back on me,” he countered. “Just. Please, Gabe, take care of me all you want, but let me take care of you too, for once.”

“We’re really doing this, aren’t we?” God, please tell me we are.

“Yeah, I think so.” Jack gave him a small, intimate smile.

“Someday, my happy arms will hold you...”

“Oh, thank god,” Gabriel muttered, not even caring that he was definitely jumping into Jack’s space.

Jack laughed, bright, free, and open, as he caught Gabriel in his arms and swung him around in circles. Gabriel settled comfortably, making a seat for himself in them. “I love you,” he whispered. Gabriel tried not to melt into Jack’s embrace. “So much.”

Gabriel winced. “I’m… not sure if I’m ready to say that out loud yet, but…”

“I’m more than happy with that,” Jack murmured, craning his head to kiss the tip of Gabriel’s nose. “You’ll get there when you get there. We’ll do this right this time.”

“...and someday, I’ll know that moment divine...”

“Thank you,” Gabriel murmured reverently.

“Anything for you.”

“Anything for you, too.”

“...when all the things you are are mine!”

[save-the-cronch]

Sincerely Me

Welcome to my fic that is using a title that is overused! Anyways, this is based off a set of one-shots I posted, originally, on my other account. 

Enjoy!

Read on AO3

Evan kept his head down as he walked to the school’s computer lab. He had to quickly finish his ‘self-help’ letter before his mom picked him up for his therapy session with Dr. Sherman. Slowly, Evan pushed open the door to the lab and shuffled over to a computer on the right side. Silently, he logged into the computer, found the google chrome search logo, clicked on it, and signed onto his google drive account. He moved the cursor over to the google doc containing his letter. After he clicked on it, he watched as a new paged popped up, and his letter loaded onto the screen. Evan quickly read over the letter, and noticed that he left off with:

Maybe if I could just talk to her. Maybe, nothing would be different at all.

He silent thought for a second, tapping his fingers on the table. Eventually, he began to type out the last part.

I wish everything was different. I wish I was a part of something. I wish that anything I said mattered to anyone. I mean, let’s face it, would anyone even notice if I just disappeared tomorrow?

He stopped typing briefly. Evan knows this isn’t what his therapist had in mind for him to write. These letters are supposed to say the good things in life, but when there aren’t any good things, why make it up? Why not just tell the damn truth? No one would even care anyways.

Sincerely, your best and dearest friend, me.

Suddenly, his phone began to ring. Evan fumbled with it in his pocket. He quickly checked the caller ID and was relieved to see it was his mom calling him.

“H-hello?” He asked. Evan has always hated phone calls, can't stand them. Even though it was just his mom calling, he still stumbled on his words.

“Evan, I’m not going to be able to bring you to your appointment. They needed extra help at the hospital and I was the only one on duty. Also right afterward I’m going to class, there are leftovers in the fridge for dinner.” Heidi Hansen rushed her words as if she really needs to get back to work. Which, Evan assumed, she probably does.

God, Evan thought, I'm such a burden, she wouldn't need to work so hard if I wasn't around. I have so many problems. She has to spend too much money on my pills and therapy, I hate it.

"O-okay, yeah, I’ll ea-t that.” Even while he says this, Evan knows he won’t.

“Did you finish your letter sweetie?" Evan knows that all his mom wants is for him to get better. However, he also knows that she knows she'd have a better life without him.

“Yeah, I just pr-printed it n-ow.” He says, clicking on the little printer button on the top right of the screen.

“That’s fantastic sweetie. I’ve gotta go now, but I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” Totally fantastic. Except for the fact that his letter basically states that he wants to just disappear and never come back.

Evan nods his head but then realizes she probably couldn’t even see him. Stupid. “Okay, love you.”

“Love you too honey.” And with that, she hangs up the phone.

Evan sighs once again, and then, he stands up to go and grab his letter. Before he can even take a step, Connor Murphy appears in front of him. Oh great. Evan really hopes he's still not mad about this morning. Connor had thought that Evan laughed at him, and so he shoved him to the ground. However, what had really happened was that Evan didn't laugh at him, He would never laugh at him. He would never laugh at anyone really. Evan was just nervous, and so he let out a nervous chuckle. Because of this, Evam have a mental freak out moment. He still didn’t know if Connor’s here to yell at him some more or what but he was absolutely terrified.

“Evan? Right?” Connor asks, looking Evan up and down, then into his eyes. Evan shivered slightly and nodded. Evan didn't shiver because Connor was scary, he's actually really pretty. Like his sister, Zoe. Wait, not the time Evan. Shut up. Evan looked back at him, and he noticed something. Connor seemed like he was trying to tell Evan something, but then seems to think better if it and instead says, “How’d you break your arm?”

It was an easy question to answer, Evan had practiced the answer many times, but he still stuttered.

“Oh, uh, I f-fell. Out of a tr-tree.” Evan stuttered out, picking at the hem of his shirt. Evan hates lying, but he didn't want people to see how broken he really was.

“Well, that’s the saddest fucking thing I’ve ever heard. Oh my god!” He laughs out.

Oh, how wonderful. Evan thinks. Now I'm an even bigger loser.

Evan nodded, “Yeah, uh, yeah.”

Connor glances at Evan’s cast, and he seems to notice no one has signed it.

Shit, now I not just a loser, but a friendless loser. Evan doesn’t know how this could get any worse.

“No one’s signed your cast.” Connor points out as if Evan hadn’t already realized no one liked him.

“Yeah, uh, I kn-know.” Evan just wishes he could stop stuttering, dammit!

“I’ll sign it.” Connor offers, probably pitying Evan. Defiantly pitying him. Most people did.

“Oh, you, you don’t have to.” Evan mentally hits himself, what is he doing? He needs his mom to think he actually talked to people. Why is he telling him no?

Connor ignores him and He holds out a hand, expecting a sharpie. Thank God he's persistent.

Evan nods his head and then stuffed his hand into his pocket. He pulled out the unused sharpie and handed it to the taller boy.

He grips Evan’s hand and tugs it towards him. “Ow,” Evan mumbled.

“Sorry,” Connor seemed to have pushed it out. As if he's not used to saying sorry. Connor quickly scrawls out his name, filling up half of the blonds cast with it.

“Oh, thanks,” Evan said, with a kind of sarcastic, sort of thankful, and a bit of wanting to get the hell out of there asap tone of voice. Thankfully though, Connor doesn’t seem to notice and smiles at the shorter boy. However, it’s more of a grimace. He then takes a piece of paper from his bag and lifts it up.

“Is this yours? I saw it at the printer. ‘Dear Evan Hansen,’ You're last name is Hansen, right?”

“Uh, yeah that’s mine, um, th-thanks.” Evan reached to take it, but Connor pulls back.

“Because there’s Zoe? What the hell,” He whispers this, seemingly confused, and Evan begins to freak out. Once again.

“C-connor, please give that ba-back.”

“You did this on purpose!” Connor’s yelling now, Evan hopes he can maybe calm him down?

“What?” Very good Evan, ask a fucking question. This is super helpful.

“Yeah, you saw I was the only other person in here so you printed this wanting me to see it.” Evan knows that Connor is totally misunderstanding the situation. Evan also knows that he has no clue on how to deal with this.

“No, I-”

“You were hoping I’d freak out right? So you can tell everyone what a fucking freak I am?”

“No, please-”

“Well FUCK YOU!” The long-haired boy pushed past Evan and runs out of the computer lab. All Evan can do is stare at him as he runs, forgetting that he still has his letter.

“You what?” Jared asks from the other side of the phone, clearly enjoying the situation that Evan had gotten himself into.

“I-I printed my letter out at school and Co-connor saw it. He thought I wanted t-to get him ma-mad! He saw that I me-mentioned Zoe, and-”

“Wait, so he read some crazy sex letter you wrote about his sister? That’s messed up.” Evan starts to really hope that Jared stops laughing soon.

“It wasn’t a sex le-letter Jared! It’s for my therapy-therapist.” Evan is trying to explain this the best he can, but Jared doesn't like to listen. He never listens.

“You write sex letters to your therapist? That's kinky.”

“JARED!”

“Whatever man, but why are you telling me this?” Evan can imagine that Jared is probably lying upside down on his bed, playing video games. He's definitely not paying attention to their conversation at all.

“Because you’re my cl-only family fr-friend.” That's all they’ll ever be because Jared knows that Evan is too much of a weirdo.

“Yeah, okay, I gotta go dude. Good luck with that sex letter!”

“IT’S NOT A-” Before Evan can finish, Jared hangs up the phone. Evan groans, tossing his own phone onto his bed.

How the hell is he supposed to convince Connor Murphy that that letter was meant to cause no harm.

Also, how is he supposed to get it back from him before he tells the whole school? And, once the school knows how will he live through the taunts? No, wait, forget the jokes. Connor is probably gonna kill him.

God Dammit.

  Connor stared at the orange bottle in his hand as he sat on his bed. For once it was made, he wanted to feel productive for his last few hours alive. He also had a box filled with all the stuff he had taken from Zoe over the years placed on his desk.  He has about an hour before Zoe gets home from jazz band practice, and his mom won’t be home for another two. Connor isn’t sure when his dad will be home, but it’ll probably be late, as usual.

Connor uncaps the bottle and empties all the pills into his open palm. With no more thought, he downs all the pills and lays back onto his bed, waiting for the effects to kick in.

Zoe Murphy usually considers herself a lucky girl. She’s lucky because she made jazz one as a freshman, and sits in the first chair. She’s lucky that she is smart enough to be in most senior classes. She’s lucky that Alana Beck actually considers her a friend. She’s lucky that her brother doesn’t follow through on his death threats.

Zoe Murphy is also lucky that she got out of jazz band earlier than usual. A lot usual. AT least, according to the doctors, she is. Is she had called the ambulance not even five minutes after she had, her brother would have had no chance of survival.

So yeah, Zoe Murphy is a lucky girl. Luck apparently just comes naturally to her, and even though her relationship with Connor has been torn to shreds years ago, she’s glad that she’s luckier than most. Really fucking glad.

“Yo, Evan, did you hear what happened to Murphy last night?” Those are the first words Evan hears out of Jared’s mouth on the second day of school. Evan shuts his locker and looks at his family friend. Jared is practically bouncing on the balls of his feet, gripping the straps of his backpack.

“N-no, what happened to-to him?”

“I’m not exactly sure, but you know Calvin Ferrell? Well he lives across from the Murphy’s and he told Kelly Petie who told Kyle Gold who I overheard telling Kevin Lakes that an ambulance showed up at their house around five last night, and Calvin saw Zoe Murphy running out with paramedics pushing a stretcher with Connor laying on it out of the house and into the ambulance. Calvin doesn’t know what happened to him but Connor isn’t at school and neither is Zoe. So obviously it was something really big right? I mean why else would paramedics be there?” Jared is much too enthusiastic about this.

“J-jared! Why do yo-you seem so, so ex-excited? Wh-what if he di-died. That wo-would be te-terr-terrible!” Evan whisper yells.

“Eh, I wouldn’t worry about it, I mean so what? No one likes him anyway.”

“Jared th-that isn’t nice! You sh-shouldn’t say, say things like that!” Evan remembers how alone he felt this past summer, and knows that whatever Connor was feeling is probably ten times worse than what he feels. He hopes Connor isn’t dead, he decides that if, no when, Connor gets back to school, Evan will try his best to try and brighten the brown haired boy’s day.

“Whatever tree boy, I’m going to class.” Jared shrugged his shoulders and left Evan standing in the hallway by himself. Evan sighs. He knows Jared fakes a lot of how he acts. He just wishes Jared was like he was when they were younger, his actual friend.

Dear Connor Murphy,

I heard about what happened the other week and I want you to know I failed as well, over the summer. You’re not alone.\

Sincerely Me.

Connor stared dumbfounded at the letter in his hands. It was his second day back after being out of school for three weeks, and he had no idea as to why a letter had fallen out of his letter. He was even more confused when he realized the letter was addressed to him and not whoever owned the locker next to him. Then after reading the two sentenced note, he felt something inside him. It wasn’t happiness at being recognized, it was more like relief. Someone out there, though he had no idea who knew in some way how he felt. And who wouldn’t get the smallest spark of hope after realizing that?

Evan watched from around the Corner as Connor neatly folded up the letter and placed it in his hoodie pocket. Then he saw the brown haired boy give a small smile, and Evan couldn’t help but smile as well.

For the next month, Evan continues to write letters to Connor. He writes the letters on Monday and Wednesdays after his homework, then on Tuesday and Thursday mornings he shoves them through the cracks in Connor’s locker. Evan know’s that Connor doesn’t check his locker until after third period, so he knows that he won’t be caught.

Sometimes the letters contain personal information as Evan knows that Connor doesn’t know it’s him, so he’s not worried, for once, about being taunted. Sometimes they just include small things that happen over the week. Usually, the Tuesday letters are the long ones, informing Connor about Evan’s weekend, the Thursday ones usually remind Connor how great he is.

Evan’s noticed that Connor is usually happier on the letter days. He’s also noticed that Connor skips school a lot, but he’s always there on Tuesday and Thursday mornings.

Connor has gotten a total of six letters so far.

The second one was almost as short as the first, giving Connor one simple tip on calming down.

Dear Connor Murphy,

Counting down from ten is always a great strategy to calm down, in my experience at least. Also, my mom, she does it a lot, especially when my dad tries to contact us. He’s very inconsiderate when he does.

Sincerely, Me

Connor felt like punching this guy’s dad after reading it.

The third letter talked a lot about trees, as did the fifth letter. The fourth told Connor that the mystery guy has a crush on a girl in junior year. He wondered if Zoe knew the girl as the letter never mentioned her name. The sixth letter was longer than usual. It seemed as though Letter Guy, as Connor now calls him, was stressing about something and just couldn’t stop talking. It started out about a math test the kid had, then there was a paragraph on why trees are so important to the environment, then two sentences wondering if Connor liked trees as much as he did, and it ended with five sentences of the guy apologizing as to how long the letter was. Connor thought it was hilarious, and kind of adorable. He kept that letter on his bedside table.

After the next two letters come, and Connor finds himself wondering who the guy is, he realizes that he might actually sort of like him. But he tries to ignore it for two reasons. First, why would this guy like him back, especially since he already likes someone else? Second, Connor doesn’t even know who writes the letter, how can he like someone he doesn’t know. However, Connor does know the letter guy, very well from all the information he writes down. He just doesn’t know his name or what he looks like.

Evan sits behind Connor in math class, which Evan actually quite enjoys. Math is fourth period, which means Connor comes in right after reading Evan’s notes on Tuesday’s and Thursday’s. This also means that Evan gets to see the small smile on Connor’s face due to the letters that he receives.Evan always enjoys seeing that smile. It tells him that he was once again successful in making Connor happy. Evan knows that it isn’t a permanent fix, but he also knows that it works for at least an hour. And an hour is better than nothing in his opinion.

After Thanksgiving break, Evan realizes that he hasn’t thought, or written, about Zoe in a month. This really confuses him, how can he go from fawning over the guitar player to never even thinking about her? He isn’t entirely sure.

That is, at least, until the first Thursday of December and Evan catches himself staring at the older Murphy all of math class. At first, Evan tells himself that he was just making sure his letters were still making Connor happy. It wasn’t until Evan was in his room, trying to go to bed while still thinking about the long-haired boy that he shoots up, now fully awake.

“Fuck I like the school shooter.”

Which then leads to Evan actually slapping himself.

“Dammit Evan, stop listening to Jared.”

Evan continues to mutter to himself about the fact that he has just figured out that he is bi. However, he isn’t just bi, no, he’s really really bi for the kid he writes letters to, to make him feel better.

That’s when his mother, Heidi Hansen, Knocks on the door.

“Sweetie are you alright?” She asks, concerned that her son is mumbling to himself at eleven at night.

“Yeah, I’m fine!” Evan shouts back, quickly laying back down.

That night Evan falls asleep with only the thought of Connor Murphy on his mind.

The next letter Connor received he was surprised to see that the mystery writer told him he wasn’t into the junior girl anymore. At that, Connor walked to his math class with a small spring in his step. He knows that the letter boy might not be into guys, but he doesn’t like the junior anymore, he has a slight chance now.

When he gets to math, the kid that sits behind him, Evan Hansen, already has a notebook out. Connor remembers in middle school when he had a small crush on the blond haired kid. He can’t help but hope that Evan was the mystery writer.

Connor spends all of math wondering what Evan’s hand in his would feel like.

When Connor walked into math, Evan couldn’t help but blush at Connor’s happy gait. Evan can’t help but hope that it’s because Evan doesn’t like Zoe anymore, and maybe Connor likes him back. But that’s insane, who would like the wallflower anyway?

Evan spends the rest of the class wondering what Connor’s hair would feel like with Evan’s fingers combing through it.

The week leading up to winter break, Evan can’t stop thinking about what he should get Connor for Christmas. Sure, Evan is Jewish and celebrates Hanukkah, he knows that Connor celebrates Christmas. He only knows this because he overheard Zoe asking Alana to come over on Christmas Eve, as Zoe’s parents apparently want to meet her.

Evan wasn’t sure on what to get Connor until he was at the store with Jared because apparently he needed knew flannel and his mom thought he was ditching Evan. Which, he usually does, but Mrs. Kleinman doesn’t need to know that. Evan had seen a couple black hoodies and remembered that Connor’s were all worn out and faded. Then as he was walking up to the cash register, money already in hand, he saw a bowl full of nail polish and quickly plucked out a black bottle. Connor usually as his nails painted, sure they were almost always chipped, but they were also always black. Black seemed to be his signature color.

Wednesday night, Evan wrapped the gift for Connor, taping his note to the present.

Connor Murphy didn’t go to bed until one am that night. Usually, he’s asleep by 12 on Mondays and Wednesdays, but this time he stayed up. He needed to get it perfect. Sure there was a chance that Mystery Writer didn’t celebrate Christmas, but that’s why Connor is signing the card Happy Holidays instead. It doesn’t need to be a Christmas gift. Just a thank you gift.

Thursday morning, when Evan went to put the gift outside Connor’s locker, he was surprised to see it propped open, and not shut like normal. Curiosity was digging at him, so Evan carefully opened the locker and was even more shocked to see a small wrapped item on the bottom of Connor’s locker. He picked it up, and then he noticed the card, which was addressed to him. Well not him exactly, but it did say To: My Mystery Writer and who else would Connor be calling a mystery writer?

Evan felt a small smile grow on his face as he placed the gift he got Connor on the bottom of his locker, and quickly put the one Connor got him in his bag. He then swiftly shut the locker and made his way to his first class.

After third period, when Connor got to his locker, he was glad to see that Mystery Writer took the gift, he was also happy to find out that he was left a gift as well.

Throughout math class, Evan couldn’t focus. He just stared at Connor’s head. Which probably wasn’t a good idea in hindsight as Finals is the week he gets back from spring break, and he really should be paying attention the review they’re doing. But at that moment, he really didn’t care.

The first thing Evan does when he gets home is putting the gift Connor got him under the small house plant he has on his desk. Even though he doesn’t do Christmas, maybe this one time he can pretend.

When his mom gets home and sees the gift on his desk, she asks where it came from.

“O-oh, well um. There’s this b-boy, C-connor Murphy, and earlier this year he wa-was in the hos-hospital? So, um, I decided to, uh, write him letters. I-I wanted to ma-make him feel good. So, uh, I gu-guess he got me-me a gift?”

“Oh honey, that’s so kind of you! I’m so glad you have another friend!”

Heidi was so excited to see the excitement in her son’s eyes as he talked about Connor.

Evan didn’t have the heart to tell his mom that Connor didn’t know it was him writing the letters, which is how he ended up baking cookies with his mom the day after Hanukkah ended. As soon as they were done, Heidi had already left for work, and Evan was tasked with the job of bringing them over to the Murphy’s place.

Before he left, he found a pen and a piece of paper to quickly scrawl out a note.

Cynthia is a bit confused as to who would be ringing her doorbell at nine at night. She is even more confused when no one is at the door, and she looks down to see a plate of cookies with a note taped to it. She leans down to pick up the plate, walks back inside and shuts the door. When she gets to her kitchen, she plucks the note from the plate and reads it.

Dear Connor Murphy

Have an excellent Christmas

Sincerely Me.

Cynthia can’t help but grin at the fact that Connor has a friend. She can’t remember the last time Connor even talked about a friend. Cynthia places the note back onto the plate, then proceeds to pick the plate up and carry it upstairs to her son’s room.

She knocks twice on the door, and the music that was blaring from inside is turned off. She hears heavy footsteps and then the door opens, revealing her son who seems to not have gotten dressed today. Instead, he is in sweats, a tank top, and has an apron covered in paint over his pajamas.

Cynthia doesn’t fail to notice the hard glare on her son’s face, and so she just holds up the plate.

Connor glances at it, and noticing the note, he picks it up and reads it.

Cynthia also doesn’t fail to notice the small smile and slight blush that Connor suddenly now has, as he takes the plate of cookies and ducks back into his room.

Cynthia can already tell that whoever this new friend is, is a good fit for her boy.

Christmas morning comes, and Evan figures that now is a good time to open Connor’s present. He brings the gift over to his bed. He tears open the wrapping paper and finds a book with a note covering the title.

Dear Mystery Writer

You always talk, or write, about how you love trees, so, here.

Evan flips the paper over and sees a beautifully drown Oak tree on the back. Evan knew Connor drew, as that’s what he does for most of math, but he never knew he could draw so, realistically. Before even glancing at what the title says, Evan gets up to pin the tree to his headboard, smiling proudly at it, before looking at the book.

Evan laughs when he sees it’s the Encyclopedia of Trees.

Connor also sits on his bed as he opens Mystery Writer’s gift. First, he looks at the note that was taped to the gift.

Dear Connor Murphy,

Your sweatshirts seem to have a lot of holes, I didn’t know if it was for comfort or what but I got you a new one. Oh, and I really like your nails so here’s some more polish.

Sincerely me’

Connor can feel the blush already beginning on his cheeks.

He unwraps the gift and instantly notices how soft the two hoodies are. He also decides that he will be using the new nail polish until it ran out. He can also feel his blush deepen and nearly scolds himself for feeling and acting this way. He shouldn’t start to like someone he doesn’t know the name of. He really shouldn’t. But then again, when has he ever done something he should do?

A week after school is back in session, the Kleinmans come over to the Hansen’s place for dinner. When Jared enters Evan’s room, he instantly notices the tree that’s still pinned up, and as Evan was gathering snacks downstairs, it felt only reasonable for Jared to see if he could see who drew it. It certainly wasn’t Evan, as his art skills were no better than Jared, who could only draw cartoon cats and nothing else.

When Jared is close enough to read the signature, he would have spat out his drink, if he was drinking something. Why would Conor Murphy draw Evan Hansen a tree?

When Evan walks back into his room, Jared plays innocent and asks his family friend who drew the tree.

When Evan blushes and says that it’s from Connor Murphy, Jared demands that Evan tells him why Connor drew him a tree.

After Evan is done explaining the letters, Jared can’t stop laughing.

“So first, you write sex letters about his sister, and now you’re writing sex letters about and for him?”

“No! Th-they’re not se-sex letter Jared! An-and I only wro-wrote about him on-once!” Which, was the wrong thing for Evan to say as it throws Jared into another fit of hysterics.

For the next month at school, Jared starts to act differently when he’s around Connor, and Connor severely hopes that Jared isn’t the letter guy as that would mean Connor has a crush on Jared, and he really hopes that isn’t the case.

However, for a slight second Connor is relieved when Jared tells him who the writer is.

Connor was casually reading one of the letters when Jared pops up and says “I see you have another love note from Evan tree boy Hansen.”

At that Connor watches as Jared's eyes widen and he quickly leaves. It takes a second for the brand new information to kick in, but then Connor realizes that the cute dorky kid that sits behind him in math. The kid he’s always had a small crush on. The kid he silently hoped was the mystery writer, is actually the mystery writer, and Connor doesn’t remember the last time he was this happy.

Evan was just about to walk out of school when he suddenly heard someone calling his name. He turned to see Connor Murphy running to catch up with him.

“Evan, can we talk? Now?”

Evan isn’t sure why Connor wants to talk to him, but being who he is, he gives a simple nod and lets Connor lead him to the tree that he usually sits under during lunch.

“So, uh, Jared told me you were the one writing letters to me. Is, uh, is that true?” Connor seems nervous and a little hopeful. Evan isn’t sure why.

“H-he told yo-you?”

Connor nods.

“OhgodI’msosorryIprobablywasn’tthepersonyouwantedtpbewritingyouletters. Sorry.”

“Uh, could you repeat that.”

Evan takes in a large breath of air before repeating his previous statement. “Oh god, I’m so sorry, I probably wasn’t the person you wanted to be writing you letters. Sorry.” Evan’s nervous that Connor hates him now, and really doesn’t want that. He wants to be friends with him, especially since that’s the closest he can probably get to Connor liking him back.

“No! I’m glad it’s you. You’re probably the nicest kid in school, anyone else I would think was making fun of me. I just wanted to say thanks. So, uh, thanks.” And with that, Connor dashes away from Evan.

The next day at school, Evan is surprised to see a note flutter to the ground after opening his locker. He bent down to pick it up and is happy to find that the letter is from Connor.

From that day onwards, Evan and Connor correspond with letters for each other. They both want to talk outside these letters, be friends in real life as well.

In February Connor finally lets himself fall completely in love with the blond haired boy. However, he doesn’t tell anyone, especially Evan. Either way, Evan likes someone else. Sure, they have some of the same features, but there are plenty of kids at their school with brown hair. And the way Evan describes his crush? Definitely not him. One letter Connor received was all about this crush. Apparently, he has beautiful brown hair, gorgeous blue eyes with a small bit of brown in the left, and a face that was crafted by God himself.

Sure, Connor has brown hair, but so does half the student body. And yes, Connor has a bit of brown in his left eye, but so does Jared Kleinman and this other kid in his AP lit class. And Connor’s face was most definitely not crafted by God. No way in hell.

So yeah, Connor accepted that he likes Evan. Like, a lot. But he’s also accepted that Evan will never like him back. And that’s okay. Or so Connor tells himself.

It isn’t until mid-March that Evan asks Connor if he wants to go grab ice cream on Friday after school.

Connor replies back with a no shit and his phone number.

After school, Connor drove Evan to A la mode, his favorite ice cream place, and they hung out at Evan’s house until Connor left at eleven at night, running into Heidi Hansen, who was thrilled to finally meet the boy her son speaks so highly of. She then asked Connor for his mom’s number so she could talk to her.

Both moms were ecstatic to hear about their sons hanging out.

They were also happy to talk to each other about them.

Both boys had a blush on their faces for an hour afterward.

And both of them fell asleep with the other on their minds, once again.

For the last two and a half months of school, Connor and Evan are practically attached at the hip. Evan was at Connor’s house for Easter since Evan doesn’t celebrate it and his mom was working. Then, they skip prom and just hang out at Connor’s house watching 80’s movies. They fell asleep on the couch, Evan’s head on Connor’s shoulder, and Connor’s head on Evan’s head.

At the end of senior year, Evan informs Connor that he didn’t apply to any schools so that he could take a gap year and save up for school for a while longer. Connor decides then and there to just not go to college until Evan goes. Connor doesn’t want to be alone, he’s not good at making friends, and to get through life he just really needs one. He got lucky with Evan. He doesn’t think he will get as lucky again.

Evan gets a job at the Pottery Barn, and Connor works at the Michael's next door. They always share their lunch breaks together, and they carpool to work as Evan doesn’t like to drive, and Connor does. Plus it means more time being together, and neither of them will pass up that opportunity.

That winter, Connor, and Evan were at Evan’s house. Heidi was at work, taking on the night shift and wouldn’t be home until early the next morning. The boys took advantage of that situation and broke out a bottle of bourbon to share as they watched Lord of the Rings.

By the time they were on the second movie, both of them had a pretty good buzz going on.

And both boys were a little Childish when drunk.

“Hey, hey Evan.” Connor whispers, giggling.

“What?” After there’s a slight pause, Evan asks again, “Co-connor, what?”

“Oh! Oh right! I wanted to tell you something.” Connor isn’t giggling anymore, but he still has a large smile adorning his face.

“And?”

“It’s very important. I’ve know for a while now. I wanted to tell you sooner, but I was nervous. Haha, I’m kind of nervous now, but like, less than usual. You know?”

“Co-con, just to-tell me. Please?”

“Oh right! I haven’t said it yet! Well, I like you!”

“I know th-that Con! That’s why we-we’re best fri-friends!”

“No! I mean I love you! Like, I want to date you and kiss you! All the time. But I don’t cause I don’t think you’d like that.”

“Well, th-that’s not true Co-con! I want to kiss you all the time too!”

“Really?” Connor’s very surprised, but also extremely happy.

“Ye-yeah!”

“Then, can I kiss you?”

Evan answers with a swift nod and Connor grabs Evan’s shirt collar and pulls him in for a sweet kiss, that’s long overdue.

When they pull back, neither of the boys have their eyes opened all the way. They’re both smiling, and they’re both still gripping onto each other.

Evan goes in for another kiss, and they fall back onto the couch, kissing lazily until they fall asleep, Evan on top of Connor, arms, and legs tangled, smiles still on their faces.

When Heidi comes home, she promptly ignores the bottle of whiskey on the coffee table. Instead, she grabs a blanket from the basket by the TV and spreads it over her son and his new boyfriend. She smiles as she takes out her phone to send a picture to Cynthia, telling her that she expects the twenty bucks the next time they go out for coffee together.

She also decides that she’ll talk to the boys about the bottle after she congratulates them.

[fearofaherobrine]

Roleplay Server Log #284

"Karla Releases Sammn, Evil In The Flesh, Ever And The Crafting Table”

-It's the end of the second week, by now Sammn was essentially physical-

[Lie] - Doc...  Do you want me to call Ever?

[Doc] I think that depends on Sammn. How do you feel?

[Sammn] - shrugs groggily - Less sleepy, just sorta out of it, but not. Still can't belive I did all that.

[Lie] - It gave us quite the scare...

[Sammn] - sighs deeply - I am very sorry. I had no idea something was inside me, causing all these issues.

[Sammn] - Wish I knew how or why it's there, might help get rid of it.

[Doc] Lie seems to think her new friend has the answer. So we'll see.

[Lie] - The choice is yours Sammn

[Sammn] Call them, I'm more of a danger like this to everybody. Plus if it's gone, maybe... I'll remember something.

[Lie] Nods and grabs her phone, dialing Ever's number-

[Ever] Picks up the phone and there's cooking sounds in the background- Yellow?

[Lie] - Hey, you guys terribly busy?

[Ever] Well I was making dinner but I can accommodate company. What did you have in mind?

[Lie] - Our friend is awake and fully physical now, she'd like to see if the thing inside of her can be removed

[Ever] Oh. Did you get the... animals?

[Lie] - The spawn eggs I can easily get right now

[Ever] Can we beg some food for them off of you as well? I can go out tomorrow and get everything else, but it's late afternoon here.

[Lie] - Absolutely, do you want the horses right away?  Or the eggs so you can spawn them when you want?

[Ever] You can do that?! Whoops! - There's a plunking noise like a ladle falling into liquid- Dammit! Just... just come over. I can't do this with the phone balanced.

[Lie] - Computer free?

[Ever] Pretty sure. Just go out the opposite door of that room and I'm down the hall on the left-

[Doc] Jumps a little as hir own phone goes off- Uh-huh... yeah.. oh... I'll be.. yes, I'll come right home. Lie...? Deerheart's having a small technical issue. Can you handle this without me?

[Lie] - See you in a few minutes then Ever- She hangs up- Yeah, absolutely Doc

[Doc] Thank you. - Xe goes around and turns off a few things to prep the bunker to leave it alone and empty again. - Do you need anythign before I leave?

[Lie] - Yeah actually, some horse spawn eggs and a few bales of hay

[Doc] Okay? Here- Xe takes the items out of creative and passes them to her.

[Lie] - Thanks- She puts them in her inventory

[Sammn] - stands and watches, rubbing her arms -

[Lie] - You ready to go Sammn?

[Sammn[ - nods -

[Lie] Goes over to the tv and creates an opening, holding her hand out to Sammn-

[Sammn] -swallows nervously and joins her - Let's hope this works.

[Lie] - Bye Doc, we'll see you...  well, we'll see you.  I don't know how long this will take- She guides Sammn through and out the computer on the other side, helping her out

-The black leaved tree almost seems to inhale their aura as they come out of the computer and then settle back into the fragrant soil that's been heaped up around it's trunk.

[Lie] Can smell the food Ever is making- Come on, let's introduce you to Karla and Ever- She follows Ever's directions to the kitchen

[Sammn] - follows, distractedly as she feels like something is lurking behind her -

[Ever] Is bustling. He's made a pot of soup that's thick with onions and beef and he's buttering slices of bread with a garlic paste. - Oh hey, there you are. Who's your friend?

[Lie] - Ever, this is Sammn

[Sammn] - looks around before settling gaze on him - Hello

[Ever] Makes a failed attempt to smooth his pointy blonde hair and the silver ring on the collar he's wearing jingles merrily. - Nice to meet you. I'd shake hands but I've been cutting onions.

[Sammn] Its alright, I'm not the diva myself. - Her black and white hair is a wild mess, her blue dress has seen better days, its still stained with blood. Pale as snow, with odd solid purple eyes, she tries to be friendly and smile at him. -

[Lie] - Is Karla preparing?

[Ever] Notices her eyes and the blood and pauses - Are you.. a creepypasta?

[Sammn] Creepy pasta? No.

[Ever] Oh. - To Lie- Yes and no? I don't know what you want her to make. But we have the materials.

[Lie] - You guys are the experts here

[Ever] Well... lets eat first, and we can talk. Nothing formal. [It's a large kitchen and there are stools around the island in the center]  I'll get Karla. -There's already a stack of bowls and plates and such on the counter-

[Lie] Grabs the bowls and fills them for her and Sammn- You're actually probably pretty hungry Sammn

[Ever] I'll be right back.

[Sammn] - not fully paying attention, but grabs the bowl and stares at it. - Yeah... somewhat. Can I ask what this is?

[Lie] - Soup, it should warm you up

[Sammn] - sniffs cautiously, then tries a sip - Not bad.

[Lie] Sits at the island- Go ahead, sit down

[Sammn] - moves to a stool and sits, but only gets a mouthful or two before stopping to look around and listen -

[Lie] - Sammn?  Everything okay?

[Sammn] - cocks her head to the side, listening - Not sure. I hear something.

[Lie] - What do you hear?

[Sammn] - looks over to the doorway - Whispering.

[Lie] Reaches for Sammn's hand- Do you want any of my flowers?

[Sammn] - her hand is cold and she's shaking - Yes. Quickly... they are getting louder.

[Lie] Spawns her calming flowers all around Sammn, even putting a very short wall of Xophiel's fire around Sammn- It's alright, I'm right here

[Sammn] - wraps arms around her - Yeah, but what else is here. As soon as we got here, I felt something ... following us.

[Lie] - I don't know, Karla does have an interest in the occult...

[Sammn] - tries to keep calm and struggles to eat some more - I really hope this helps. I don't want to think what will happen otherwise.

[Karla] Walks into the kitchen with a creak of boot leather, hir long silver braid thrown over one shoulder. Her scarred face creses slightly- Why it the floor covered with fire and foliage?

[Ever] Runs around her and starts trying the swat the fire out with a wet dishtowel- Oh NO!

[Lie] - Ah!  It's alright, those are my flames!  And my flowers!  They aren't actually hurting anything!

[Sammn] - flinches and drops her spoon, splattering the counter with soup -

[Ever] Oh.... sorry. - reaches down to straighten a flower he accidently stepped on.

[Lie] - It's alright, the flowers would have calmed you eventually

[Sammn] Sorry... sorry... I - is totally distracted watching something move in the shadows behind everyone -

[Ever] Is still a little shaky and grabs some food. Prepping a bowl and some bread for Karla as well.

[Karla] Looks her slowly up and down and her expression softens slightly - you're the one who wants my help, aren't you? I've been where you are.

[Sammn] - blinks and refocuses on Karla - I... I think so, maybe...

[Karla] I wonder if those eyes will clear afterwards... - she sits down smoothly and takes her food.

[Ever] scarfs his happily, occasionally staring at the fire and plants-

[Lie] Finishes her food and strokes one of the closest flowers which eagerly responds to her-

[Sammn] - turns back to her bowl and stares at it, trying to ignore everything around her as best as she can -

[Karla] Eat, you'll need your strength.

[Ever] So... what does it look like?

[Sammn] Limbs, a lot of them. Hooves, claws, hands, tentacles, all black as shadows, but liquid.

[Ever] That's gonna be hard....

[Karla] I cannot sew liquid. It merely needs to be a suitible shape to contain the thing.

[Sammn] - stares at the soup - It has form, a black mass, a blob. They come from it, but only when the mouths whisper.

[Karla] Just a blob? That I can do in one night. - Eats contentedly-

[Sammn] - the soup swirls and glorps, thin strands of black start leaking up - Yeah, sure...

[Ever] Finishes first - I'll go get the materials-

[Karla] Good. - Watches his rear as he goes then turns to Sammn - Dare I ask why your clothes are bloody?

[Sammn] - watches the soup - We died.

[Karla] Then we have something else in comon.

[Lie] - I've died once, do not want to repeat

[Karla] Turns to Lie, and the huge scar beneath her shirt is visible through the neckline as she turns - You seem such a delicate flower. Did you learn from it?

[Lie] - Yeah, let my far more murdery and battle trained husband tend to his seed when there's a murderous NOTCH running around... Oh and being stabbed and deleted really hurts

[Karla] Nods knowingly and dots her lips with a napkin.

[Lie] - I was so panicked I actually forgot to summon my defense

[Karla] I think you've never been in a war. It gives you instincts you never truly forget.

[Sammn] War is hell, neither side wins.

[Lie] - Nope, never had to truly fight until CP dragged me in

[Karla] Rubs her gloved hands together thoughtfully- The most we can hope for as individuals is to escape with our true selves intact...

[Lie] - Well considering how a good chunk of my memories are just gone...

[Karla] That's a pity.

[Lie] - No, it was my choice.  I gave all my happy memories from before I was brought into the game to a god.  It helped make my decision to stay in the game easier

[Sammn] - whispers - Nisi victor est, qui metet animas.

[Lie] - Sammn?  Are you feeling okay?

[Sammn] - blinks and looks up - I think I remembered something, but it doesn't make sense.

[Lie] - Well you were just speaking that other language again...

[Sammn] - The only winner is those who reap the souls...

[Lie] - Well at least you understood what you were saying

[Sammn] Yeah, but why would I know or even say that? That's the part I don't understand.

[Karla] I don't think He considers it a win. It's just his job.

[Ever] Comes back with a clear jar containing a white cotton packet and a ball of foil- I found the spares.

[Lie] Looks at it- Do you need a rose?

[Karla] Turns to her quickly and her eyes narrow- why did you ask me if you already know the method?

[Lie] - I don't, but I recognize that set up.  It's what Dawn made for us when we went to...  Well, resurrect somebody long dead.  She had me make a rose for it

[Sammn] - stares at Ever, the feeling of something lurking is back tenfold, along with the whispering - What is that for?

[Ever] Is a little excited and it's unnerving- It's a heart and a brain.

[Karla] Stands up - shall we get started?

[Lie] - Where do you want us?

[Karla] The study. I need to do a little sewing first.

[Ever] Come on! I'll show you!

[Lie] - Okay- Offers her hand to Sammn

[Sammn] - takes effort to move, but finally manages to grab her hand - Whatever you are going to do, do it soon. The whispering is scared.

[Karla] Darkly - Good.

[Ever] Leads them around the curving hallway into the study. The fireplace isn't lit at the moment and some of the tables have been pushed to the walls. The couch looks as over-stuffed and inviting as ever.

[Lie] Dismisses the fire-

[Karla] Kicks over a bolt of denim, unrolling it on the floor, and slices it with a razor into large lozenge shapes. She adds a few skinny triangles as well and starts aggressively pinning it together.

[Ever] Watches her with love in his eyes.

[Lie] Sits on the couch- Lean on me if you need to Sammn

[Karla] Warms up a huge sewing machine with a loud thrumm and feeds the fabric through it in practiced motions.

[Sammn] - follows numbly and slowly sinks into the couch, unable to tear her eyes from watching Karla -

[Karla] Turns the heavy skin out and motions for Ever. The two of them drag out a trash bag of shredded rubber tire bits and stuff the cloth bag with fistfuls of it.

[Lie] Makes certain to keep in contact with Sammn, trying to keep her calm-

[Karla] Will you be able to provide suitible... restraints... if it gets out of hand Lie?

[Lie] Blushes a little remembering what happened the first time- Yes, I can

[Karla] Then we'll work in here. - she roughly forces the foil and cloth packets inside the bag and closes the last seam. It looks like an evil beanbag chair with tentacles.

[Sammn] - is shivering, radiating cold. Any shadows in the room deepen and a faint sound like wind moving leaves can be heard -

[Karla] Leaves the room and comes back with a box and a knife. She threads a needle and sticks it through the fabric of her shirt to keep it handy. - Sammn? Are you prepared?

[Ever] Leaves briefly as well to get a fruit from the tree and cradles it gently-

[Sammn] - stands - No, but do it... quickly.

[Lie] Watches nervously-

[Karla] Indicates the floor beside the bag- Kneel please-

[Sammn] - stumbles forward a few steps then stops, her head lowered. The temp drops enough frost is starting to form on the floor around her. She speaks, but it's not her voice, but many - Temptress prohibere tua stultitia.

[Lie] Leans forwards a little, ready to summon her vines-

[Karla] Chuckles- that's not going to help you now. - She takes the knife and slashes a hole in the bag with it. Then reverently holds the fruit of the tree aloft and cracks it against the flat of the knife. It breaks like an egg and the whitish sludge inside is full of tiny black seeds. She dribbles the contents into the gash and sews it back up again as quickly as humanly possible with large looping stitches-

-The thing seems to shift in the shadows-

[Lie] Her focus is on Sammn-

[Sammn/?] PROHIBERE! - she snarls, drawing both combat knives and lunging toward Karla -

[Lie] Vines shoot up out of the ground to tangle around Sammn- Shit!  I forgot she had knives!- As soon as the vines make contact, they begin to frost over a little

[Karla] Barely bats an eye. She takes the box and opens it reverently. Inside is a very large dark gray feather that's exhuding a bluish aura. - Do you know who I stole this from, demon?

[Sammn/?] - is screeching loud enough to be painful. The ice spreads across the floor and over Lie's vines, withering them - HOC PUER EST MEUM, ET LOCUTUS EST AD ME!

[Lie] - Looks around a bit frantic- EVER!  THE FIRE! LIGHT IT!

[Ever] Huh? Okay?! - He rushes to the fireplace, squirting lighter fluid on the logs and fumbling with the matches-

[Karla] Does a palmstrike on Sammns forehead with her free hand-

[Lie] Adds more vines to Sammn as some crack and break away-

[Sammn/?] NULLA! NOS NON ERIT CAPTI ITERUM! UNUM LOCUTUS EST NOBIS MORTEM ET SANGUINEM ANIMARUM! - the voices rise to even louder pitch -

[Karla] She brandishes the feather like a weapon and sweeps it across Sammn's brow, gathering up the entites on it's angelic bristles-

[Ever] Gets the fire lit-

[Lie] Focuses on the fire, letting her powers merge with it nicely this time- Let's hope this isn't as stinky as last time- With a burst of energy dark red vines flow from the fire, their heat a contrast to Sammn's cold as they grapple for a hold on her

[Sammn/?] - the voices scream in pain and rage. There is a deeper voice underlying the whole mess - NOS SUNT LEGIO! REGERE NON POTES NOBIS!

[Karla] Grins wickedly as she pulls the feather and the entities away from Sammn- Rette deine Bitten für die Engel. Schmutziges interloper.

[Voice/?] - screams unintelligibly, as the whole room shakes. A black mist forms around Sammn and follows the movement of the feather -

[Karla] Carries the feather across the gap and wipes the mist off the feather against the cloth of the sack before stepping back-

- Like a switch, the voices disappear and the warmth floods back into the space -

[Lie] Quickly removes the vines, ready to catch Sammn if necessary-

[Karla] Puts the feather away and watches the bag as it opens several red eyes and begins to move-

[Voice/?] - the eyes swivel around, all finally focusing on Karla. A single mouth appears below one of the eyes and it speaks in a deep raspy voice - Quid fecisti nobis?

[Ever] It can talk? The others never could....

[Sammn] - crumples, gasping for breath - It... wants to... know, what... what you did to it...

[Karla] Evicted it.

[Lie] Grabs Sammn, guiding her to the couch-

[Voice/?] - Several of the eyes blink, as they open they all look different. Some are different colors, a few clearly not human looking. The thing shudders and wails. - Carcerem nobis!

[Karla] Excuse me? If that's some sort of complaint then you shouldn't have possessed someone in the first place.

[Sammn] - looks up at the thing, scowling - Speak something... other than a dead language. You can, I know it.

[Karla] Puts her hands on her hips expectantly- Yes, let's see what you have to say for yourself.

[Lie] - If it's body weren't made of the materials it's made out of, I would absolutely have one of my pods bite it

[Karla] I don't think that would have any effect either.

[Voice/?] - whines, slowly wiggling a few tentacles - wE wErE pRomIsEd fReEdOm

[Ever] By who?

[Voice/?] tHe oThEr...fOuNd uS...sToLe uS...forced uS...pRoMiSeD uS bLoOd, sOuLs fOr oUr aRmY

[Karla] Well that's unfortunate for you then. So... shall vhe take it out and test zhe wunderwaffe on it?

[Voice/?] - writhes tentacles - pRoMiSeD uS, tHe child sAvEd oUr pRiZe! sAvEd hIm!

[Karla] Ignores it and addresses Sammn - Well?

[Sammn] - stares at the creature, thinking - Saved its prize... saved him. I did something, I had to.... he was hurt.

[Ever] Sounds like there was a deal and they included you without permission Sammn.

[Voice/?] oUr wHiTe eYeS! yOu tOoK uS iNsTeAd! rObBeD!

[Lie] - Now that part I understand, it has something to do with your brine

[Karla] So... no target practice? Damn.

[Sammn] - shakily stands up and marches toward it - How did I rob you?

[Lie] - If you really want to shoot at something Karla...   I might be able to convince CP to spawn some zombies for you

[Karla] Slides over to Lie - Perhaps. But for now I'm more interested in the tribute you brought me.

[Voice/?] - it whines again, reaching out toward her - tOoK tHe bLoW iNsTeAd, dEaTh sHoUlD hAvE cLaImEd yOu, hE sAvEd yOu aS yOu sAvEd HiM.

[Lie] - The horses?  I've got the spawn eggs on me right now

[Karla] Wonderful, once this is sorted out, we should go out and.... 'spawn' them.

[Lie] - Sure, I've got hay for them as well

[Sammn] - stares at it, then looks around the room, stopping to watch Lie and Karla. She kneels down just out of reach - The Imposter... the battle at Capital City.... he trapped you and planned on using you to curse, and.... I took the blow instead.

[Voice/?] - blinks all of its eyes - yEs!

[Karla] It appears you have remembered something?

[Sammn] - stands - Damn me nine ways to the Nether, its coming back slowly. What do we do with this thing?

[Karla] Kill it?

[Ever] Please don't leave it here....

[Voice/?] - screams -

[Karla] That's annoying.

[Sammn] I think we better not, it might be of some use. Plus... I think killing it, might free it.

[Karla] Is pretending to be agravated by this.

[Lie] Is thinking-

[Sammn] Anyone have something we can shove it into? I really don't want to touch it.

[Karla] Like what? A larger bag?

[Ever] Theres plenty of rope in my room....

[Sammn] A chest?

[Lie] - Hang on, I've got wood on me if you really think that will work

[Sammn] Can't hurt, plus that way no one else will come into contact with it either.

[Lie] Fashions a crafting table real quick and puts it down before crafting a double chest- Here we go

[Karla] Is boggling a bit at what Lie just did - what an... interesting table...

[Sammn] - takes chest and slowly scoops the thing into it. It wiggles and squirms, but is shut up inside -

[Lie] - It's a crafting table, it's how we make things in game

[Karla] Touches it gingerly and examines the block from all sides-

[Ever] Was watching Sammn but gets distracted- that's neat!

[Sammn] - sighs - Lie, can you send me back. I.... need time to think.

[Lie] - Sure, let's head back to the computer- She heads for the tree room so she can make an opening

[Karla] Follows her quietly-

[Sammn] - stows the chest in her inventory and follows, her brain on automatic - This.. has been ... strange.

[Lie] - That seems to be daily life for us- She reaches the computer and creates an opening, the server can be seen on the other side- Sammn, get some rest, I think you'll actually be able to sleep well now

[Sammn] - nods and turns toward Karla. Her eyes are still solid purple, although now they faintly glow - Thank you for the help. - She does a strange salute to her and heads back -

[Karla] You're welcome.

[Lie] Once Sammn is through she shuts the opening- Alright, now where do you want me to spawn the horses

[Karla] Gives her a slow look, making her hyper aware of the fact that they're alone together. - Outside...

[Lie] - Lead the way

[Ever] Is playing with the crafting table because he's unsupervised.

[Karla] Leads Lie past the kitchen and out the back door. There's a small structure outside with open stalls but no gates. - I can add to it later. The whole yard is fenced in all the way around twelve feet high, as you saw.

[Lie] - Oh yes I did- She pulls out the spawn eggs and offers one to Karla- Would you like to try?

[Karla] Takes one curiously and turns the brown speckled egg in her hands, holding it in the light from the back door. - How odd...

[Lie] - Just tap it, lightly that is, on the ground

[Karla] Leans down and does as Lie suggests-

-A full sized paint horse pops into existence-

[Karla] Skips back but recovers quickly- Mein Gott! I mean... that's amazing...

[Lie] - That's the miracle of birth in our game, everything comes from an egg- She taps out another horse, this one is a chestnut-

[Karla] Holds out a hand so the horse can sniff it- Are they female? Male? Something else?

[Lie] - Both

[Lie] Taps the one she spawned with an egg and a black foal spawns- And this is what the babies look like

[Karla] They're lovely, especially in the moonlight. You said you had hay for them?

[Lie] - Oh right, where do you want me to put it?

[Karla] I guess in the mud room will have to suffice for now. Minus a snack for each of them of course. I'll fill the water buckets. It looks as though Ever will have quite the shopping list for tomorrow, fence parts and grains and medication- She takes up te hose and drags it to some buckets under the small structure, neatly filling them

[Lie] Pulls out some apples in her inventory, offering them to the horses before going to put the hay away-

[Karla] Comes back and approaches the horses again. It's clear from her manner that she knows what she's doing checking them over. - It's been so long... And they are so wonderful.

[Lie] - They won't die of old age either unless they take extreme damage

[Karla] Perfection.... Will the little one grow up?

[Lie] - Oh yes, one moment they will be a baby, the next, an adult

[Karla] Gives the small foal a bit of scratching on the neck- The world you live in is one to be envied my dear. It sounds like a bit of heaven.

[Lie] - Not always, nightly there are monsters which will attack if given the chance, and there's always the dangers in caves

[Karla] What do you have to defend yourself from such creatures?

[Lie] - Swords, bows, light, shelter, and our own brine powers

[Karla] Gives the lightest little sigh - Seeing as I've had to take a vow to hide myself from the world anyway... it still sounds... forgive me. I'm rambling.

[Lie] - No, it's alright.  Many have expressed the want to be there

[Karla] I hope your friend recovers.

[Lie] - I'm sure she'll be fine, she's strong.- A few flowers spring up by Lie's feet, sensing her currently calm energy

[Karla] More flowers? What kind are these?

[Lie] - Just flowers, but I have many that do have purposes

[Karla] They are pretty all the same. - Looks back at the horses, who are wandering a little bit, but slowly. - It will be a pleasure to teach my kitten to ride as well as be ridden...

[Lie] Blushes some- Speaking of flowers, I should probably clean up my plants inside, I kinda filled your kitchen with calming flowers...

[Karla] Will they break the tiles with their roots?

[Lie] - No, minecraft flowers don't really have roots

[Karla] Then just leave them for now. The one your friend brought back to life on my shelf has flourished quite nicely despite the absence of soil or even light.

[Lie] - Alright, although I should probably remove those new vines, I'm not sure what they'll do...

[Karla] Motions for her to lead the way-

[Lie] Heads back to the study entering and looking at the bit of a mess that she's made-

[Ever] Is exitedly waving around a wooden sword- It works!

[Karla] -Blink blink confusion-

[Lie] - Oh geez!  Where did you even get the wood planks!?

[Ever] Gestures towards the fireplace, where the stack of wood cords in the brass holder is a bit smaller now-

[Lie] Groans a little and goes over to her new vines, touching them and memorizing their feel so she can recreate them later- Well this will probably be useful again at some point...

[Ever] Is showing Karla what he did and pulls a wooden shovel off the table-

[Karla] Magick...

[Lie] Let's the vines retreat away- I really don't have an argument against that, especially since I know Flux

[Karla] Flux?

[Ever] Starts throwing things out of a box digging for something.

[Lie] - She's the embodiment of magic in the game itself

[Karla] I'm suprised you didn't have her work on your friend. It seems nothing is impossible for your kind.

[Ever] Arranges some flat rocks on the table and a furnace falls off and clunks heavily onto the floor. - WOOO!

[Karla] Ever!

[Lie] - She was able to bind it, but she's much more used to running a server

[Karla] Stares at Ever-

[Ever] Sorry Mistress.

[Karla] It's blocking the door.

[Lie] - Do you need me to move it?

[Karla] If you can, please. I think Ever is... getting a bit over-excited.

[Lie] Gets up and gives the furnace a few swats, breaking it into a smaller version of itself- Should I take away the crafting table too?

[Ever] Looks sad-

[Karla] Is it dangerous?

[Lie] - I mean, without redstone the more dangerous things won't work...  But pressure plates could always be used instead so maybe?

[Karla] Then go ahead. I think it's for the best.

[Ever] Sad meeping sound.

[Lie] - Ever, I can always let you into the game if you want to play with a crafting table- She swats it away

[Ever] oookay....

[lixation]

MIA - Part 2: Proposal

The Hacker and the Student - it might not seem like much to most, but to those involved, it can be the most important thing in existence. When the person you want to protect most in the world won’t let you, what other choice do you have?

Series: Mystic Messenger

Characters: 707 x Yoosung

Word Count: 1,467

Warnings: N/A

Part 1

**Zen has entered the chatroom**

Jaehee: Hello Zen

707: Zenny Zen~~

Zen: Ew….What’s with you…

Zen: Hey Jaehee

707: T_T so cruel

Jaehee: How were rehearsals?

Zen: They went great! This new director really knows what he’s on about

Zen: They’re working us pretty hard, but what’s coming out of it is beautiful

Jaehee: I’m sure having your skills is helping to make it work as well

Zen: Ah~ You think so too?

707: And there it is!!

Zen: What’s that supposed to mean??

707: Did you see the new merch that went on sale?

Jaehee: I’ve already made sure to purchase one of each item, however the body pillows sold out before I got the chance

Zen: New merch? Body pillows??

Jaehee: You haven’t seen the new items on your fansite?

707: Don’t worry, Jaehee!!! The body pillows will be restocked shortly!!

Zen: You again?!

707: ya

707: It’s really showing how popular you’ve become

Zen: well…I guess if it’s for my fans

Jaehee: When will they be restocked?

707: Limited supply will go on sale Monday, but there��s a surprise as well!!

Zen: Why don’t I like the sound of this…

Jaehee: …

707: T_T

707: Why don’t you trust me??

Zen: Just hurry up and tell us what it is…

707: No. I’m not going to tell you now.

Zen: Seven….it better not be something gross!

Jaehee: oh…I wonder what it could be…

Jaehee: something the collectors would go crazy for?

707: ya

707: It’s getting prepped tonight and will go on auction tomorrow

Jaehee: Auction?

Zen: What the hell is it??

707: Keke

707: A body pillow

707: used by

707: Zenny himself!!

Jaehee: …

Zen: … seconded

707: What?? The fans will go crazy for it!!

707: Not just buying a pillow with Zen on it, but it’ll smell like him too!

Zen: Why would I agree to that?!

Jaehee: I think it would sell very well

Jaehee: You could get a lot of money for it, Zen

Jaehee: and it would definitely increase your popularity with your fans

707: See! Spoken by a true fan!

Zen: I wouldn’t do it for the money!

Zen: I wouldn’t do it at all!

707: Good thing about the money, ‘cause I already made plans for it

Zen: ….

Zen: You what…

Zen: What the hell do you need more money for?!

707: I have 4 gifts that I’m planning all for one night!!

Zen: How much are you spending??!

Jaehee: Gifts?

707: ya

707: oh, but I’ve gotta go now!

707: Mary is at the door

707: Chao!

**707 has left the chatroom**

“What the hell have you been doing?” Not even a hello from Mary as they walked into the room, pushing past Seven as they looked at the mess, “How do you manage to think in a place like this?”

Seven flopped down onto his couch, “Exactly. I can’t! That’s why it’s not done yet.” His face lit up as he scrambled over to his bench and picked up a USB and held it out proudly to show Mary, “But look! I finally finished the algorithm for the show!!”

Mary slapped their hand against their face and let out an annoyed groan, “You have got to be kidding me. You haven’t gotten the information for our client, but you’ve put together that stupid show for your boyfriend?” They glared at Seven, “You’re lucky I haven’t told the boss about RFA or your boyfriend, but if you keep slacking I’m going to have no choice. Get it?”

His face dropped and Seven lowered the USB, “Alright…I’ll finish up now.” He slumped into his seat and started typing without another word while Mary started to attempt to clean the room.

Two days had passed and Seven couldn’t wipe the grin from his face. The pillow had sold for even more than he’d expected, totaling $10,346.00. He pulled his car up to a stop at the side of the road before hurrying over to his phone and logging into the chatroom.

**707 has entered the chatroom**

Zen: SEVEN

707: hello~

Zen: HOW CAN YOU LIE ABOUT THE PILLOW YOU SOLD?

707: Lie?? How’d I lie?

Zen: I never slept with that thing!

Jaehee: The poor fan that spent so much….for a lie

707: It wasn’t a lie

Zen: But I didn’t sleep with it

707: You did. I took it to your house the other night

707: You even got some drool on it lololol

Jaehee: ….

Zen: HOW COULD YOU DO THAT??

**Yoosung☆ has entered the chatroom**

Yoosung☆: Oh! Seven!

Yoosung☆: I’ve been calling you all day! Where are you!!

707: sorry, sorry

707: I’ve been slaving away T_T

Yoosung☆: You could have at least text me…

Zen: Dammit, Seven. You’re lucky I have rehearsals!

Jaehee: Don’t push yourself too hard, Zen

Zen: Thanks, Jaehee. Bye.

**Zen has left the chatroom**

707: Have you been on LOLOL today?

Yoosung☆: Not yet, I was about to log in though

Jaehee: You might be studying harder…but you still game too much

Yoosung☆: But….but it calls to me!

707: Check out your subscription status!!

Yoosung☆: You didn’t!!!

Yoosung☆: You did! The platinum experience package!!

Yoosung☆: But it’s so expensive!

707: I’m glad you like it lol

Jaehee: That’s what all the sales have been for…

707: part

707: You’ve got 4 gifts all up tonight.

Yoosung☆: wait…what?

Jaehee: oh….

707: come out the front when you’re ready

**707 has left the chatroom**

Seven slid his phone into his pocket and rocked back on his heels until he was leaning on the rail, chewing the inside of his cheek nervously as he stared at Yoosung’s door. When the door opened Yoosung almost tripped over himself as he tried to hurriedly tug his shoes on, “When did you get here?”

“Not long ago, but we don’t have long so follow me to gift number two.” Seven winked at Yoosung before wandering ahead of him down the pathway.

When Seven suddenly started climbing onto the roof Yoosung called out after him, concern painting his face, “What are you doing? Be careful!”

Once he’d reached the stop Seven leaned over the edge of the roof and extended his hand to Yoosung, “C’mon. I’ll give you a hand.” When the blonde just stared at him nervously Seven gave him a comforting smile, “Don’t worry. I’d never let you get hurt.”

They’d somehow survived the climb despite Yoosung’s wobbling legs and Seven cheerily led his boyfriend along the rooftop until they reached a small picnic made up of Honey Buddah Chips and Dr Pepper. Yoosung’s eyes shined like a child in a candy store, his heart quickly beating away in his chest as Seven gently lead him to sit down on the rug before placing a kiss on his forehead, “Two down.” Seven whispered against Yoosung’s hair before sitting down next to him.

Together they enjoyed their far from healthy dinner for two but Yoosung couldn’t help but to wonder what else was in store. “So….You’ve already given me my two favourite things…what else are you planning?” He questioned, poking Sevens cheek playfully as he laid next to him.

“Well,” he started, checking the time on his phone before sitting up and looking away from the city and out into the distant night sky, “Just look out there.”

Yoosung frowned as he stared out into the darkness. “I don’t get it.” He muttered, but before Seven would even have had a chance to respond Yoosung’s eyes lit up, the loud bang of fireworks filling the air as he watched the colours spark and fill the sky. “Oh my God…is this…Seven is this you-“ Yoosung cut himself off as he turned to see his boyfriend kneeling beside him, “S-Seven…what are you-“

“Just keep watching.” He rolled his eyes and nodded back to the sky, “Or else you ruin number three.”

When Yoosung turned back to the fireworks he saw them explode into more intricate designs, more and more firing until finally they stopped. There was a moment of silence before the finale spiraled into the sky, the sparks falling to paint the sky with one question.

Join me at the space station?

The next time Yoosung looked at Seven tears started to build in his violet eyes. He couldn’t get out a single syllable as he stared at the ring in his boyfriend’s hand. “You know, you don’t get number four until I get an answer.” Seven tried to joke, attempting to hide how nervous the wait made him.

Shaking his head, Yoosung tried to find his voice. “Yes.” Slowly his smile grew as he repeated his answer with more enthusiasm, “Yes, yes! Of course!”

Seven slid the ring onto Yoosung’s finger before pulling him into a deep kiss, leading into the fourth gift.

Part 1

[assholemurphy]

when you’re slowly relapsing and your friend (who knows you’re anorexic, and is anorexic, herself) tells you that ‘you’ve eaten a lot today, isaac’ even tho she’s only seen you eat a little bit - food from the diner (that that i got a lot of and shoved around on my plate to make it look like i ate a lot when in truth i only ate a little bit, and if she had paid any attention, she would have fucking seen that, bc honetly, i was transparent as hell bc i didn’t actually care if she noticed, but i guess i’m better at faking it than i thought, if i can fool her) and a cup of noodles (i had a fucking craving, fuck you, eat me) and your total calorie count for the day was 1966, which yeah, is a lot in comparison to what i usually eat, but dammit, i’m trying not to relapse, so fuck off, and now you feel like shit, so you weighed yourself for the first time in months, and that didn’t fucking help at all, so you logged into your ana forum for the first time since last fall, which is a bad bad bad decision, but well, fuck it, i ate too much, so i guess i’m going down that rabbit hole

and just in general i feel like shit but i’ve already got tomorrow’s food planned out so i stay under my limit (which, rn, is 1200, to start), if i only eat what i’ve planned it’ll be exactly 1000, which is much better, and manageable, but rn i feel like i’m going to panic bc someone commented on what i ate and that means they paid attention to what i eate, which means i’m being watched and judged and i just don’t know how to cope with that bc i’m so scared of ppl seeing what i eat bc i know i’m fat, thanks, i don’t need other ppl reminding me of that

and then she just openly talks about her disorder in front of all our friends, so ofc, i did too, and now i’m worried they’re going to think i’m faking bc i’m not skinny and frail and they’re going to judge me, or worse, they’ll get worried for me nd start forcing me to eat more if they notice i’m losing weight (but i’ve got a good 100lbs to go before anyone starts worrying, unless they start worrying about how fast i’m losing weight, which is not good) and i don’t want ppl pitying me or trying to stop me, or worse, just brushing it off and ignoring it bc i’m ‘too fat so it’s not a problem’ and idk what to do, but i wish they didn’t know and that she’d shut up for five seconds, but she wants to get better, so i guess being open about it is good for her, but like, it’s annoying af

so now i don’t know what to do, bc i don’t want to tell her she fucked me up by saying that, but i literally tried to purge bc of it and now i’m rly fucked up over it, or if i just let it go so i don’t upset her by telling her it bothers me, and i just don’t know what to do. gods, i wish i wasn’t such a fucking dumbass. i just wanna not eat at all for the rest of the week, but i can’t do that bc it leads to rly big binges and that’s not cool. i just wish ppl wouldn’t comment on what i eat. my mom has always done this, and that’s part of the main reason for my ed in the first place, so having someone i care about tell me i’ve eaten a lot makes me feel like shit, but if i tell her it might upset her, or she’ll think i’m being a baby about it, but it’s like, the most triggering thing in the world for me.

so now i’m considering making an ana blog with my extra email, and i might do that over the weekend

but i’m spiraling even faster now and i don’t think i’ll be able to pull myself out of it this time. it’s back and i’m not even sure i want to stop it. fuck