#watch me on the verge of a breakdown and the thing that tips me being the absolute angel that is my friend mum | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

onceuponaloonatic · 3 years

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Can you update the misahyo au?

of course !!

In the nearly twenty years of being with Sana, Jihyo had never come home to her crying. Sure Sana had cried plenty once she was home, and while she wasn’t at home, but never once had Jihyo come home to Sana sobbing. It seemed today was a day of firsts.

After dropping Nayeon off, Jihyo had taken her and Nico home, too far into her head about what Sana had told her to really listen to Nico and engage with her on the ride. Once they got home, Jihyo helped Nico out of her car seat and brought her inside. She helped her with her shoes and then told her she was going to check on Sana and Mina. As awful as it made Jihyo, she just needed to see Sana. She needed to see how her wife was and she needed to hold her. Even if it meant she left Nico by the entry to their house, standing awkwardly by the locked front door. (Jihyo had made sure to check that it was locked the minute she and Nico were inside. Jihyo finds Sana on the couch. She’s curled up in a ball, and a mess of tears. She meets Jihyo’s eyes and Jihyo can feel her heart shattering at the sight of her wife so absolutely destroyed. Sana looked so scared. Jihyo was with her immediately. After a quick check to make sure Sana was okay with a hug, Jihyo wrapped her up so tightly. She didn’t want to let go. She ended up holding Sana. She needed to be here for her. Of course she wished Mina was here too, but right now she could only focus on Sana.

“Mama?” The moment is broken when Jihyo sees Nico standing there staring at the two of them. She looks like she’s about to cry.

“N-Nico.” “What’s wrong with mommy?” Sana sobbed harder at the questions, cuddling closer to Jihyo. “It-it’s nothing baby. Why don’t you go play upstairs? Mommy is just a little sad about… Big kid stuff.” “Mommy okay?” Nico asked, the tears spilling over as she watched Sana fall apart. Jihyo’s heart somehow broke even more at the sight. “Just go upstairs please.” Jihyo knew she was being too harsh, but she couldn’t keep three people from completely falling apart. “Mommy… Mommy okay?” More tears spilled out from both Nico and Sana. Sana shook in Jihyo’s arms while Nico stood in front of her, both on the verge of getting much worse. “Nico- please just go upstairs.” Jihyo sighed.

“No!” Nico screamed, more tears coming out as she started sobbing. “Mommy okay?” “Nico…” Sana muttered from Jihyo's arms. Nico stayed for a few more seconds before running off, and Jihyo made sure to follow her long enough to know she went upstairs. Jihyo sighed as Sana shifted closer to her. She was still shaking in Jihyo’s arms. “Babe can you-go make sure she’s okay?” “I will in a bit but I need to make sure you're okay first.” Sana shifted closer to Jihyo, burying her face into her chest. Her breathing was starting to even out, and Jihyo couldn’t help but smile at the sight of Sana calming down a bit.

“I’m fine.” Sana insisted. “No love you're not, and that’s okay. It’s really scary. And you need to feel that fear and sadness. You are a mom, but you're also a person Sana. Burying your emotions even if it is for Nico isn’t going to be good in the long run. It’s going to hurt you and Nico.” Jihyo started drawing small shapes on Sana’s back, pressing kisses to her head as she thought about what to say. It was scary, for all of them. In Jihyo’s arms, Sana took a few shaky deep breaths, slowly regaining control of her mind. “You’ve been a mom for as long as I have, how are you better at it?” Sana muttered once she was calm. As she came down, she felt exhaustion creep in. “I’m not better at it.” Jihyo muttered between kisses to Sana’s hairline. “I just think we need to be our best for her. And sometimes to be our best we need to take some time for ourselves.” “Look at you, such a good mama. I married the right person.” Sana joked, settling against Jihyo and closing her eyes. “You and Mina.” “Mina….” Jihyo sighed. “I’m-” Jihyo and Sana were both surprised when the doorbell rang. Jihyo felt Sana immediately tense up again, all of the tension returning to her body and her face went from sleepy to scared in seconds. Jihyo took a deep breath, knowing it was probably not Sana’s parents. They had no way of knowing their address. Momo’s mother wouldn’t tell them and it’s not like they had talked to Sana since they got arrested. Even with that knowledge though, she still couldn’t help the tension building up inside her. Jihyo made Sana stay on the couch, and the minute she’s gone Sana is grabbing a throw pillow for comfort. Jihyo had to get on her tip toes to properly see through the peephole and Sana would have laughed at her if she was in a better mood. “It’s just Nayeon and Momo.” Jihyo announced to Sana, seeing her wife relax. She couldn’t blame her, Jihyo felt relief flood her as well as she opened the door. “Hey guys, now’s not a great time so-”

“I know. I’m here for Sana.” Momo looked like a woman on a mission as she interrupted Jihyo. “My mom told me what was going on and to check on her.”

“She’s in the living room.” Jihyo knew Momo could be protective, especially when it came to Sana. They had been friends for so long, and Momo was some of the only biological family Sana had left. She knew Momo was one of the best people for Sana right now. “And I’m here for Nico.” Nayeon announced. “Nico?” Jihyo asked. “I’m guessing you guys upset her.” Nayeon moved inside to take her shoes off and Jihyo closed the door behind her, immediately making sure to lock it. “I-how did you know?” Jihyo asked, genuinely surprised. “We have a special bond.” Jihyo looked at Nayeon accusingly. “Alright alright, Mina texted me she was really upset.” “Mina?” “Apparently she went to Mina after you told her to go upstairs. She told Mina what happened and Mina told me.” Nayeon explained. “I can take Nico if you want to talk to Mina… I know you're trying to give Mina her space, but I think it’s time you guys talk.” “Did Mina say anything to you?” Nayeon sighed and nodded no. “She doesn’t have to. This is one of the longest episodes she had in a while, and it’s affecting all of you. With this stuff with Sana’s parents going on, I think you guys need to sort out what’s going on with Mina like now. It’s hurting all three of you, and it’s hurting Nico. This is one of her first times being around Mina when she’s like this- I’m sure she’s confused and scared and it’s stressing her out. When you add Sana on top of it, god I can only imagine how scary it must be at her age.” Nayeon explained. “Maybe that’s why she was so upset earlier when Sana was crying…” Jihyo thought aloud. “I have a feeling that contributed. I think it’s also pretty disorienting to come home to your mom having a breakdown and your other mom basically telling you to go away. She’s three Hyo, she isn’t exactly capable of completely understanding things like anxiety and depression and breakdowns. You did the right thing sending her upstairs, but I also think you could have handled it a little better.” Nayeon sighed. “But that’s okay. You guys are learning. A big part of parenting is learning. You're going to make some mistakes along the way and Nico’s going to be mad at you or upset for a bit, but as long as you make it right it will all workout.” “Thanks Nayeon Unnie…” Jihyo sighed. Nayeon really was one of the best people in Jihyo’s life. As much as she complained about the older girl, she and Jeongyeon had always been Jihyo;s rocks. “It’s easy to have perspective on stuff like this when you are on the outside. But really as hard as it is, at the end of the day it’s up to you to make the decisions you think are right for Nico.” Nayeon put a comforting hand on Jihyo’s shoulder. “Now, I’ll be upstairs with Nico. You might want to give Momo a minute alone with Sana, you know and I both know Momo knows things about Sana neither of us will ever understand.” Nayeon explained.

“Yeah, you're right, I’ll go check in on Mina… I’m sure she’s rattled.” Jihyo sighed.

“Sure. And Hyo, make sure you don’t take on too much. You tend to do that sometimes.” Nayeon sighed, letting go of Jihyo’s shoulder. Jihyo followed her friend upstairs, Nayeon immediately went to Nico’s room. Her door was open, and in passing Jihyo could see her with her face buried into her giant stuffed bear Sana had insisted on getting for Nico’s third birthday. On a trip to Costco, Nico had seen the giant stuffed bears and absolutely fell in love. Convincing her to let go of the bear was one of the hardest things in the world to do. She had thrown a huge fit and Jihyo had to take her to the car. After a full blown meltdown, she had an asthma attack in the car. After that, Nico seemingly forgot about the bear. When her birthday was coming up, Sana had decided it would be a good gift for her, despite the fact they had already picked out quite a few gifts for their little princess. Nico had nearly died when she saw it on her birthday. She jumped up and down and almost had another asthma attack when she came downstairs and found it in the living room.

“Mina…” Jihyo found her wife in the bed. Mina looked like she was crying, her form shaking under the covers. “Love, it’s me again.” “I’m starting to think you might live here.” Jihyo could’t help but crack a smile at that. At least Mina could still crack a small joke. “Maybe I just really like the girls that live here.” Jihyo responded, moving closer to the bed. “Nayeon’s with her right now. Momo is with Sana.” Jihyo sat on the edge of the bed. She reached a hand towards Mina, but stopped herself midway. “Hey love… You don’t have to talk about it yet, but we- we can’t keep this up. Nico can’t- I can’t- I don’t want to rush you my love but we can’t do this forever. Maybe just, can we talk about making things a little better?” Mina was quiet at that, snuggling closer to the covers. Jihyo hates seeing the tears on her love’s face. “I- Nico told me something was wrong with Sana.” Mina’s voice was hoarse. Jihyo made a mental note to grab her some water later. “Yeah… But it’s- we should talk about you first.” Jihyo sighed. “Please my love… It hurts all of us to see you this way.” “I-I’m sorry.” Mina started sobbing some more. Jihyo hated it. She hated knowing Mina was in so much pain. “No no baby it’s okay. It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to feel like this. We just- we love you. And we want to help you feel a little better.” Jihyo muttered, tangling her fingers in Mina’s hair. “You don’t have to be perfect Mina. None of us expect that from you. Me, Sana, Nico, none of us expected you to be perfect. You know that, right?” Mina’s silence was the answer to Jihyo’s question. “Love, none of us expect you to be perfect. You’re already doing so good. We are all so proud of you.” “Nico too?” “Of course. Nico thinks the world of you, but she knows no one is absolutely perfect.” Jihyo muttered. “She loves all of us so much. She loves you so much.” “What about today?” Jihyo gently moved all the hair stuck to Mina’s face away. “You and I both made mistakes today baby. But it’s okay. She’s fine- I should have texted you and warned you she was in a fragile mood. The last few days… Haven’t been ideal for all of us, her included. Nayeon is with her right now. She told me everyone is going to make mistakes and part of parenting is learning. None of us really know what we’re doing… Do we?” “No.” Mina couldn’t help but giggle. Her crying had stopped, and Jihyo was more than relieved to see the small crack in Mina’s face “Exactly. We can make things better, but we both need to put in a little effort, okay?” Jihyo swiped her thumb across Mina’s cheek. “Mm-kay.” “Okay?” “Mm-hum.” Jihyo continued swapping her thumbs across Mina’s cheeks. “I want to see Nico.” “You don’t have to love.” “I want to.” Mina sat up, reaching for one of Jihyo’s hands. Jihyo immediately held it. “Okay.” Jihyo smiled. “Let’s go.” Mina held tightly to Jihyo’s hand as they made the short journey to Nico’s room. Her door was closed, so Jihyo knocked on it. At Nayeon’s “come in” Jihyo slowly opened the door, keeping eye contact with Mina to make sure she was okay. At Mina’s insistence, Jihyo opened the door. “Hello.” Nayeon greeted them. Nico was in Nayeon’s lap, her face buried in Nayeon’s stomach. “Hey Nico, we have some visitors.” She seemed calmer, sleepily cuddling with Nayeon. “Hey sweetheart.” Jihyo led Mina to sit next to Nayeon and their daughter. “I’m sorry about earlier. I know you were worried about Mommy. And that was sweet, but um the thing with mommy, it was adult stuff. I know you want to help and that’s really sweet of you.” “And I’m sorry too baby, I- haven’t been feeling well lately and I shouldn’t have gotten mad. Can you forgive Ka-san?” “Katsu?” Nico looked up from Nayeon, tears still lingering on her cheeks. “You want Katsu?” Mina couldn’t help but giggle. “Uh-hum.” “Alright, you can have all the katsu curry you want.” Nico brightened a little, reaching a hand out from Mina. The two held hands and Mina brought Nico’s hand up to kiss it. “I love you.” “I love you too ka-san.”

#twice #misahyo #myoui mina #minatozaki sana #park jihyo #im nayeon #hirai momo #namo #misahyo au

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writing-for-me-at-this-point · 4 years

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ii. Fun Facts About The Cast | Actor Au | Obey Me

Request: Its not, I love this AU tho

Word Count: 2303 words

Page Count: 6.5 pages

A.N. Hope you guys all like this! Fun facts about the cast lmao

[ Actor AU Masterlist ]

Fun Facts

Benjamin ( Lucifer )

- Is the dad of the cast.

- In any scenes with Dmitri ( Luke ), he makes sure to know if he is alright, and often will stop scenes to ask.

- He also is an overall joker, so he has trouble filming most of his scenes, will often start laughing in the middle of filming and can break character the easiest.

- Best with kids overall, probably due to having his own, keeps their lives private tho.

- His hair was white for a past show, but the directors liked the look, so that's why he has white tips.

- One of the few male characters who cannot do those diets to accentuate his abs- so that's why his character is always covered up.

- He's in shape! But, he likes the fat that protects his muscle, he says he needs to stay soft to hug his kids.

- Known diabetic, so there's a table full of foods so his sugars are stable, the cast has glucagon shots all over the sets to be safe.

- Is in his early thirties, but people say he can pull off early twenties- he just snorts at this.

Avery ( Mammon )

- Takes the job seriously, and his scenes are easiest to film.

- Dark humor and often is the "Lucifer" of the cast.

- Seeing him switch from Avery to Mammon leaves the rest of the cast and crew fucking s h o o k.

- Will always be seen looking his finest.

- No, no one has seen him in public in sweatpants or anything like that. His image is very serious.

- Is a sweetheart when with the rest of the cast tho.

- His eyes are actually that blue.

- No one is sure if his hair is actually white or not, the way he speaks about it is vague, and fans are always theorizing.

- Watching over Benji ( Lucifer ), and is usually the one to tell him to check his sugars, since the other is quite forgetful.

- Is an immigrant from Turkey, so he has an accent, makes people thirst for him more.

- Helps aspiring actors and directors get into the field, and goes on hard work and talent, not who tries to pay him off.

Jackson ( Leviathan )

- Is the resident fuckboi.

- Always with males and females hanging off him, at this point the pop gave up, no- they aren't his partner.

- Flexes a shit ton.

- Wearing chains, a Rolex, and anything designer.

- Donates half of his salary to ocean reserves and protection funds, he has the money for it, and the show pays him well.

- Always at the beach, or near lake houses and shit, the one ( 1 ) thing he likes about his character.

- Hates the fringe he wears with a passion.

- His hair is actually a light shade of brown, his eyes are a darker shade, but still pretty light.

- First generation, his parents are Korean, so you can pick up hints of their accent in his speech patterns. Gets heavy when he's sleepy.

Ross ( Satan )

- Is a stoner.

- Goes on Instagram lives with either MC and gets high, talking about the dumbest shit or he's alone in his room and his cats join in.

- "So, if you think about- oH MY GOD PRINCESS. YES, COME TO DADDY."

- Has a kitten curled up on him, purrs loud as hell because mf is so warm, and the lives turn into purring ASMR sessions.

- Into self care, has a line of vitamins, face masks, and everything you can think of.

- Calls his fans his SaStans.

- Dmitri ( Luke ) is his younger brother.

- Will never let him out of his sight, and they love to be as mean as they can to each other, they love each other but love to bully one another.

- Is from the Bronx, so his accent is what Avery ( Mammon ) mimics for his character, often just records Avery's lines and sends them to him so he can practice.

- Owns an animal shelter he funds.

- "Carol Baskin? Who's that?"

- The REAL tiger king.

- Gets all his cats dyed to look like tigers.

Micheal ( Asmodeus )

- Chill as fuck.

- Has like 5+ kids, so the role fits him perfectly, and now it's an on running joke among fans that they are all his illegitimate children.

- You know why Asmodeus on the show wears so much makeup?

- His eldest daughter is one of the makeup artists, and she loves to try new looks on him, and the producers think it would fit the character well.

- People speculate his age, looks young but is in his late 30's.

- His first child was born when he was 16, so he likes to support safe heavens and things like that for struggling youths- from being kicked out to needing assistance with mental health.

- Tired af.

- Always in sweatpants, him and Ross ( Satan ) are the trademark bums of the cast.

- Thinks it would be hilarious that when Micheal is revealed, in the show, that he plays the character.

- Is a writer as well, TSL is a real series and he writes it, so they let him use it in the show.

- Vlogs in his car, in a Wendy's parking lot, eating a shit ton of food and talking about the most random shit.

- Half asleep in all interviews, wearing a hoodie and sweatpants, it's gotten to the point where everyone memes it too.

James ( Beelzebub )

- Himbo.

- One of the few cast members closest to their character.

- Absolute sweetheart.

- He's 20 years old.

- But how is he so fucking big???

- Comes from a big ass family, the middle child, he's baby 4 out of 9.

- All his siblings are redheads too.

- Very playful tho, with the cast always going along with his antics, making for the best bloopers.

- The contacts he wears make him blind af, which doesn't help since he's so tall, and will bump his head on the doorways and such.

- Can speak Scottish-Gaelic, and even has an accent to top it off.

- He is an absolute unit, and one of the characters who does the stupid diet to show off his form.

- Literally on the verge of passing out sometimes, so he needs to rest with Benjamin ( Lucifer ).

- All pictures, shirtless scenes, and such are filmed first so he can rest after and go back to a normal diet.

- Quiet guy, but loves talking about sports and his siblings tho.

- Is always carrying MC and Dmitri ( Luke ) around, now there are many off-guard photos posted to the casts shared twitter+instagram accounts

- Still pretty new to acting, but is amazing at emotional scenes, to the point fans actually think he's having a breakdown.

- Nah, he's just thinking about being alone, without his family- and it gets him bawling for said scenes.

Conner ( Belphegor )

- Crackhead

- Will not stay still, either for filming or just when everyone is chilling.

- Scenes where he's asleep? He's usually turned away from the camera, cause the idiot is smiling and giggling.

- Has tripped over his tail multiple times.

- Comes from a farm-life, literal cowboy, his southern accent just hits hard.

- He hides it very well, but it comes out at times or with certain words.

- Sees Benjamin ( Lucifer ) as a mentor, he's in his early twenties and new to the scene, but they are best friends.

- Benjamin ( Lucifer ) has now acquired a new child.

- A living meme.

- You know how Tom Holland can't keep a secret?

- Yeah, he's worse.

- Rest of the cast have all had to physically stop him from talking at one point.

- The cow pillow? It's actually his, when he got the role his father has sewn it himself, so he will bring it with him.

- It's basically free promo for the show and comforts him in the city space.

- Gets overwhelmed in large crowds, so he usually makes sure to have another cast member close by, or he will literally leave to a less crowded place to take a breath.

- Apologized to MC after the scene in which he kills them.

- His mama raised him right, so he takes MC to his house for a movie, in which they cuddle and relax for the night.

- Felt really bad for like... a whole week.

- "Country boy I love you~"

Thomas ( Barbatos )

- Brat.

- This is one cocky man, he's smooth as hell, and one whisper can make you weak in the knees.

- Grew out the one side of his hair, but he slicks his hair back or will pin it back, dyes it himself when it's time to film.

- Loves to piss Alex ( Simeon ) off.

- Has a true crime podcast with Roman ( Diavolo ), Alex ( Simeon ), and Benjamin ( Lucifer ), because they're all old friends.

- Donates to the cold case foundation because he knows what it's like to lose someone and not know what happened to them.

- He has a twin who is his stunt double, they love to fuck with the rest of the cast, both of them are little shits.

- Is the motherfucker who makes a channel and reads the crackhead fanfics

- Loves every word of it tho.

- Responds to every fans dms. Every. One. As a whole account for this shit.

- Walks with a bit of a limp, so he wears a brace to help even himself, but during wide-shot scenes you can catch it sometimes.

- Took actual classes to be a butler for the role.

Roman ( Diavolo )

- Himbo 2.0

- Catch this man tweeting what he's trying to search up at 2 in the morning.

- Leaves them because it's hilarious, makes videos where he reads them out sometimes, it's all in good fun.

- He has a set of triplets at home, so that dad energy radiates into the show too.

- You know how Diavolo seems sus at points of the game? Yeah, he's still like that IRL.

- The rest of the cast was put off at first, but that's how he is, and everyone eased up pretty quickly.

- Makes jokes that he has family in the Italian mob, but needed to stop once his father called him, saying that there were too many eyes on the family now.

- Man was s h o o k.

- Has sensitive skin, so all his makeup and body paints need to be specially made, made with all natural products.

- The bags under his eyes are baby bags.

- Will bring his kids on set, to which everyone will gush over, and watch them when they aren't filming.

- Very private with his kids ( to the public ), doesn't post about them much, and only the cast really sees them.

- Wine dad.

- Catch him bringing the whole cast out for "family trips"

- People nicknamed him Caesar

- So many JoJo references now

- "SHHHHIIIIIZZZAAAAAAAA"

- "Please, no."

Dmitri ( Luke )

- Is actually 12.

- Quotes vines, tiktoks, and other memes.

- Is one of the few people that Alex ( Simeon ) is openly nice too.

- Also has an accent, but since he's young and is learning, can now mimic every other cast member's accent.

- Wear earplugs for certain scenes, because of how raunchy and dark the scenes can get, so Simeon and Barbatos are always conveniently in the way, hiding the plugs.

- Is Ross' ( Satan ) younger brother, and if he isn't hanging off of him he's with James ( Beelzebub ), Benjamin ( Lucifer ), or MC.

- They know there are some sick fucks in Hollywood so he has an adult with him at all times.

- Posts pictures of him cuddling up to his brother and the kittens, new foods he is trying, and some pictures with family.

- He often is considered the new Gordon Ramsay.

- Had a collaboration with him.

- It was amazing.

- Best boy, catch him taking a nap in his ( and Ross' ) trailer, surrounded by tiger kittens.

- The TIGER PRINCE.

Alex ( Simeon )

- Avatar of wrath who?

- The embodiment of "No talk me, I angy"

- Jkjk, though he does have a temper, he only loses it with Benjamin ( Lucifer ), Roman ( Diavolo ), and Thomas ( Barbatos ).

- A sweetheart with all children though, like you know Simeon on the show?

- Yeah, he's only like that with kids.

- And respectable adults.

- Mama raised him well 2.0

- Grew up in NY

- Born in Gucci and Balenciaga.

- Was a child model and slowly expanded to acting.

- Dark humor galore.

- If Simeon met Alex, he'd probably have a stroke, cause THOSE WORDS are coming out of HIS mouth.

- Says the weirdest shit too.

- "Put your hand on my ass and call me a virgin."

- Bro are you okay???

- He is fluent in five languages and has a high IQ.

- Speaks: English, French, Italian, Arabic, and Mandarin

- Has a support system for children who struggle to learn conventionally, with trained tutors who are affordable, he knows what it's like to need certain needs met to learn, and he wants every kid to get that chance.

- Rough around the edges but has a heart of gold.

Derek ( Solomon )

- Loves to smoke with Ross ( Satan )

- He is more aloof than chill.

- One of the more awkward members, doesn't know how to socialize well, and is very shy.

- Watch out for Dmitri ( Luke ) on the down low.

- Didn't have the best life growing up, so he is a lot more street smart than book smart.

- Doesn't have a big social media influence.

- Very nice to fans, gives full hugs to them, and everyone feels so appreciated.

- Has a husky named Blue.

- Also has an owl, who he took in when he found it on his porch with a broken wing, and nursed it to health.

- He set it free, but she comes back often, and has a nest in the tree closest to his house.

- Named her Lovely.

- Animal person, so he helps Ross out with his animal shelters.

- Uses Blue as a living pillow, and only sleeps in his boxers when Blue is on his bed, because goddamn does that dog radiate heat.

- Him and MC live together, having grown up together, and made their livings together.

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adenei · 3 years

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Day 4: January Word Challenge

A/N: This one is a Romione Half Blood Prince AU that is actually a follow up to “Why, are you scared of loving?” I couldn’t get the idea out of my head, so here we are.

**********

Stars

It was later in the evening when Hermione found herself with Ron outside once more, watching the sun set over the pond. She put the day’s earlier conversation behind her, and was trying to enjoy the time with her best friend. It was hard to concentrate in his proximity.

She’d sneak sideways glances at his features when he wasn’t looking. The way his blue eyes sparkled in the setting sunlight, and the contrast of his red hair against his pale, freckly skin. It was cruel how attractive he was. Hermione found herself thinking often about what it might feel like to feel the hard muscles of his body against hers, with his arms wrapped around her. She never thought she’d appreciate quidditch quite this way, but thank Godric for what it had added to his physique.

Hermione tried to shake herself out of those thoughts. You’re only making it worse. There’s no way someone like him could ever fall for someone like you. And yet, here they were, watching the night sky appear before them, ready to gaze at the stars that would soon shine down over the Burrow. Wasn’t that something that couples did?

“It’s nice out tonight, isn’t it? Not too hot, for once,” he said, breaking the silence around them.

“Yes, it is quite comfortable. Though, I’m worried that when night sets in I’ll be a bit chilled.” English weather had a knack for that.

Ron couldn’t help but laugh. “I’ll never understand how you can always be cold.”

Hermione smiled as the last curve of sunlight slipped away, covering the Burrow in twilight. “It’s just how I’ve always been.”

“Well, it’s a good thing our school uniform makes us wear those robes everywhere. I’ve noticed the castle gets really drafty at night when we’re on rounds.”

“Yes, it does. I actually joked with Mum one summer about adding a fleece liner in one set to keep me warmer.”

“You and your muggle ways. Just use a warming charm,” Ron suggested.

“But then everyone would know I’m constantly cold if they walked by,” Hermione said.

She wasn’t really sure why, but she felt like arguing with him. Not real arguing, of course, but in that playful banter that she’d come to crave from their friendship.

“Why would that matter?” Ron asked inquisitively.

“It wouldn’t, but it’d be another reminder that I’ll no doubt be alone as everyone else in our year pairs off.”

Ron looked at her. “What makes you say that?”

Hermione gave him a slight shrug of her shoulders. In all honesty, she wasn’t sure what she meant. She was thinking about her dorm mates and the other students in their year starting relationships the previous year. She knew it wasn’t true, but some days she felt like she was the only one on her own, and was none the wiser on how to alleviate that particular issue.

“Just because Harry had a go with Cho for a bit, and Ginny seems to have blokes lined up to take her out doesn’t mean everyone’s getting together,” Ron said, pulling her out of her thoughts.

Hermione scrunched her eyebrows in question at him. “Since when are you suddenly okay with Ginny’s dating life?”

“ ‘M not, but I reckon I’ll get hexed far worse than any guy who comes onto her if I don’t leave it.”

“Smart choice.”

“May not say the same for you though,” he muttered.

“Excuse me?” Hermione wasn’t sure if she’d heard him right. “Last I checked, I’m not your sibling, and I don’t think I need protecting.”

“Well, you are my best friend and I don’t want any bloke thinking he can take advantage of you.”

“Who’s to say I can’t handle myself?” Hermione felt her cheeks flush. This was not where she hoped the conversation would lead, but it’s what she got for playing with fire.

“I’m not saying that! You don’t know what the other guys- you know what? Nevermind. It’s not important,” Ron cut himself off.

“The other guys what, Ron? You can’t just cut off mid sentence like that.”

He gave her a look that clearly said, ‘did you just hear yourself?’ Okay, so she’d been guilty of doing that a lot over the years. She waited impatiently for him to answer, but when he did, it wasn’t what she was expecting.

“You know, we’ll probably see some shooting stars tonight.” He had changed the subject completely.

Hermione huffed as she lay quietly on her back, and took in a deep breath of the dewey air around them. She watched the sky as Ron laid down beside her. He was close, and she could feel the heat of his hand and arm against her own.

More and more stars appeared as the sky grew darker. It always amazed Hermione with how many they could see out in the country. It was so different from the city life she’d grown up in.

They must have been looking in the same spot at the same time, just as a faint flash darted across the sky. “Look, there! Did you see it? Shooting star, make a wish,” Ron said eagerly.

Hermione nodded as she smiled. His excitement was contagious. “Yes, I did.” She closed her eyes and made her wish. When she opened them she saw Ron had propped himself up on his elbows.

“So, what’d you wish for?” She could barely make out his lopsided grin from the faint glow of the lights in the house behind them as he asked the question.

“I can’t tell you that. Everyone knows if you share your wish it won’t come true,” Hermione laughed as she rolled her eyes at him.

“So, that means your wish is something that can happen?” Ron teased her. Her face fell slightly, and she could tell he regretted his words. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just something my brothers would say to Ginny and I when we’d all come out here. It was just a way to get us to give away our wishes.”

“No, you’re right. Wishes are just that,” Hermione said with a sigh. “No one could ever want me anyways.” She figured that even if he didn’t share the same feelings for her, she could trust him with that piece of information. He was her best friend, after all.

“What?” Ron asked, his tone serious now.

“Nevermind, it’s nothing. I just wished that I might get a boyfriend of my own this year. See what all the fuss is about.”

“That’s not impossible, though.” Ron said quietly.

Hermione gave a most ungirly like snort. “Have you looked at me lately? I’m not exactly Lavender and Parvati. Who in their right mind would choose me when I’ve got those two as my dorm mates?”

“Hermione, does this have anything to do with what we talked about earlier?”

“What do you mean?” There I go again, all but pouring my soul out to you and you completely change the subject by bringing up a different conversation, Hermione thought.

“The whole scared of falling in love thing.”

“I’m not following, Ron,” Hermione was stifling back the scream of frustration she desperately wanted to let out. Could she ever get a straight answer out of him?

“Just what you said about not measuring up to the other girls, which I don’t think is true, by the way, and what you mentioned about being scared to fall for someone who doesn’t fancy you back.”

Hermione thought about what Ron had said. Maybe she didn’t give him enough credit. Those two things were definitely related. “I guess you’re right.”

“Well, I wouldn’t pass it off. You never know...the person you fancy might surprise you,” he said as he looked back up at the sky.

She was gaping at him. Did he know? Had she given herself away? The sheer panic was enough to make her want to jump up and run back into the house and avoid him for the rest of the night. Miraculously, though, she stayed rooted in her spot. And perhaps even more amazingly, she came up with a witty retort.

“And how would I know if that person fancied me back?”

She heard him take a deep breath in and exhale slowly. “Well, for one, he’d enjoy spending time with you. Even if it meant giving up a whole beautiful afternoon to revise in the library.”

Her mind was instantly thrown back to the week before O.W.L’s. She was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, and Ron had offered to go with her to the library to help her study. It was one of the few times he’d offered instead of being asked. Hermione felt her heart begin to beat faster in his chest as she waited for him to continue.

“He’d also make sure you weren’t overworking yourself because you have a tendency to do that, you know. Making sure you take breaks, actually show up and eat your meals. Oh, and even though you don’t need any more to do, he’d still help with the crazy groups you think up.” Ron grinned at her.

She had no doubt in her mind that he was referring to S.P.E.W. and the DA. “Anything else?”

“Well, I’ve been told that it’s fairly telling if a bloke gets a girl some fancy, personal gift for her birthday or Christmas. Might mean a bit more than, say, a planner.” His eyes averted her gaze at this last one, but she could hear the playful sincerity in his voice as she thought back to the bottle of perfume he’d given her for Christmas.

“Ron…” she said in almost a whisper. It was quiet, save for the rustling of the trees in the soft breeze and the occasional cricket in the field beyond. She was sure that he heard her.

“I’d say those are pretty good ideas of whether someone fancies you or not. You wouldn’t happen to have any tips for me, would you?”

Hermione stared at him. Her brain was past the point of mush and she couldn’t even begin to comprehend putting something so clever together without spilling her heart out to him. “Only one thing comes to mind,” she said softly.

“Yeah? Are you gonna share, or keep that secret to yourself?” Ron asked her.

Hermione closed her eyes and hoped what she was about to say wouldn’t backfire on her. “My suggestion would be to show her how you feel...because she feels the same way.”

Neither had realized that their faces had inched closer together throughout the entire conversation. Hermione glanced briefly down at Ron’s lips before she looked up and met his eyes with her own, bravely searching for any understanding reflecting back at her. Whatever her next thought was about to be, she’d never know as she felt Ron draw closer to her. Her eyes fluttered closed as his lips softly brushed her own.

That first encounter was tentative, but when Ron realized Hermione wasn’t pulling away, he leaned in again, more confident as he pressed his lips into hers. Hermione returned the kiss, though carefully trying to not come across as too eager. Gradually, they found a rhythm with the kiss, and neither wanted the moment to end.

Eventually, they did break apart, knowing that they should head inside before Mrs. Weasley came calling for them or sent someone out to stumble upon them. “We should head inside,” Ron said, as if someone needed to say what they were both thinking.

They stood up, and Ron reached out his hand and Hermione took it. She couldn’t help but smile as they walked back towards the house. Looks like wishes do come true, after all.

#ROMIONE #hp hbp au #hp fanfic #Ron Weasley #Hermione Granger #31 days of January Word Challenge

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olivia-anderson-fanfic · 3 years

Text

A Miraculous TikTok Account

Part 32

First

Carapace wanted everything to pass.

He wanted whatever feud that Ladybug and Chat had going on to pass, he wanted Hawkmoth to pass away of old age already, he wanted to pass his miraculous onto someone else…

And he REALLY wanted to pass this fucking class.

Listen, juggling a miraculous and a full course load was difficult. It was like having a job and going to school at the same time, except his supervisor and the customers seemed very determined not to listen to his schedule --.

Well, actually, no, it was just like having a job and going to school.

… anyways, it sucked. He had no idea how he was going to manage to pass all his midterms, which was kind of depressing considering he had been co-valedictorian back in high school.

Thank the kwamis he didn’t need to think about it for long.

The door to his room burst open and he turned away from his kwami-forsaken statistics homework to see Chat.

Chat… had pimples and his hair had been dyed neon green. The hair was… a statement and Carapace might have thought that he was just trying something out while he was away from his father but the pimples? No way that was intentional.

“... looking good, buddy,” said Carapace carefully, because Chat looked like he was going to snap.

“Don’t lie to me.”

“What would you like me to say? You look like an angsty teen that’s constantly on the verge of a breakdown?”

“Yes! … no! I don’t know!” Chat huffed a little. “For the record, she’s behind this. I didn’t just decide to have a phase all of a sudden.”

He snickered a little. “I know. You nearly had a breakdown when you saw a single pimple. Under your mask. Obviously you’re going to get a pimple there.”

“I’ll have you know I haven’t gotten a single pimple since!” He argued, and then he bit his lip. “… outside of today but today doesn’t count!”

Carapace was torn between asking for his skincare routine, assuring him that it didn’t count when he was sabotaged, and teasing him.

He never got to make the decision, because Chat started over for cuddles.

Carapace stopped him with a hand. “Sorry, I can’t take sides in this.”

Chat frowned. “But…”

“Dude, I can’t afford to have Ladybug on my ass right now. I NEED to pass this class, and I won’t be able to concentrate if I’m constantly worrying about being murdered.”

His friend groaned and practically melted in how fluidly he slid to the ground.

He raised an eyebrow at the puddle that used to be his friend, unimpressed (by the pouting, the whole melting thing was actually kind of cool).

“Please… everyone’s scared of Ladybug so I haven’t been able to talk to anyone in days.”

Chat gave his best puppy-dog eyes. (It wasn’t fair that they were so good, he was a CAT.)

Carapace hesitated. “Do you have anyone as a civilian?”

“... what part of ‘homeschooled and isolated my entire life’ did you not get?”

“Damn. I forgot about your tragic backstory,” teased Carapace lightly. He reached out and ruffled Chat’s hair and tried not to think too much about how eagerly he leaned into the touch. “But, really, even Chloe is scared of Ladybug? I find that one hard to believe.”

“Nah, everyone knows that Ladybug’s got a soft spot for her, but Chloe’s on her side, so...” Chat shrugged helplessly. “Not getting any affection from her anytime soon.”

He sighed and shook his head slightly. That did make a little more sense. He thought it over for a few moments before sending Wayzz to close and lock the door and opened his arms for him. Chat beamed and came to sit on his lap, curling up and resting his head in his neck.

Chat tensed slightly when Carapace shifted a bit in his chair and only relaxed when he realized he was just struggling to fit both him and the laptop on his lap.

The two of them were quiet for a few moments.

“Hey, I don’t think Ladybug’s dealing with it right… at all… but what you did wasn’t great, either,” said Carapace carefully.

“Yeah, I messed up.”

“I’m assuming you don’t need to be told you need to apologize.”

“No, I know. I’ll do it when she’s done.”

He nodded and they lapsed into silence...

Carapace hesitated. A question had been on the back of his mind for a while now, but… was he really close enough to him to ask?

He didn’t really think so. He’d only had a few proper conversations with him, and even then they had to hold out a lot of information because of the whole ‘secret identities’ thing that Master Fu was making them keep up.

But, hey, this was a kid who’d apparently had very few -- if any -- friends throughout his life. Maybe he’d be more open than people usually were. Carapace was pretty sure he’d heard something like that before.

So he asked:

“... did you do it on purpose?”

Because, while Chat maybe wasn’t the smartest person in the house, he was definitely not stupid. He’d managed to keep his miraculous for longer than anyone on the team, hadn’t been akumatized yet (to his knowledge), and had found a way to mostly stay out of the media despite all his time as a hero.

So, yeah, there was no way his friend had thought that poking a sleeping bear with a stick -- despite being told only two days prior that she was already on shaky ground -- was ever going to go well.

His reaction gave him away. Chat winced and his hands began to feel like claws in his shirt and he could feel the slight tremor of his body against his.

He reached up a hand and carded his fingers through his hair, trying to get him to relax.

“I… yes, I knew.”

Carapace nodded as much as he could with the head in his neck limiting his movements. “Then why’d you do it?”

There was a long silence. Long enough that Carapace was beginning to think that Chat was just not going to answer and that he would just have to go back to doing work. But then...

“I figured the house could use a distraction.”

He closed his eyes tightly, mulling over the words. It was true, everyone was on edge from a traitor scare and then Master Fu came over and told them exactly why he had made them all live together and the akumitzation of one of them had been pretty much imminent. Now, though, they were all distracted. Ladybug was planning, Chat was experiencing, and everyone else was watching with bated breath to see what happened next.

So, yeah, the attempt was successful, but...

“She’s got years of not getting akumatized so you’ve gotta know she’s pent up, AND she’d already been kinda hesitant around you. You’re going to get seriously hurt.”

“That’s fine,” said Chat softly.

He shook his head slightly and moved the laptop off his lap to properly hold him.

“It’s not. You keep getting hurt and it’s not okay.”

Chat curled into him and he swore he felt something wet dripping onto his neck, but he didn’t acknowledge this. Instead, he kept his gaze up (partially to give him some semblance of privacy and partially to keep watch for akumas).

“... as long as everyone else is happy, it’s fine.”

He swore his heart would snap at that admission. Carapace wasn’t even sure if this was from being a hero for so long or whether it was because of Chat’s terrible parents.

… he decided it didn’t matter. Whatever the reason, the idea was completely wrong and he needed to make sure he knew it:

“That’s not true. You deserve to be happy, just like anyone else,” he said, pulling the face out of his neck to look him in the eyes.

He didn’t respond, just sniffled a little and bit his lip.

He didn’t believe him.

… fine.

“Well, I have a dilemma for you: what if my happiness depends on others?”

There was a beat before Chat mumbled a “What?”

“If my friends aren’t happy, then I’m not. It’s a miraculous thing, I think, kwami of protection and all. So, what happens now?”

Chat gave him a skeptical look and Carapace forced his face to remain neutral.

“How about… you be happy for me so I can be happy for you?”

Was it blatant manipulation? Yes. Was it maybe kinda working if the thoughtful tip of Chat’s head meant anything? Also yes.

“... okay.”

“Okay?” Repeated Carapace, trying to keep the smile off his face. Sure, it wasn’t as good as trying to be happy for his own sake, but it was a start.

“Okay,” said Chat, a little more confidently.

He beamed, leaning forward to wrap him in a tight hug.

(And, if Chat noticed the dull thud of Carapace throwing a pencil Ladybug had once summoned for him to snipe an akuma out of the air, he didn’t say anything.)

~~~

Taglist

@nathleigh @sassakitty @th1s-1s-my-aesthet1c @blueslushgueen @woe-is-me0 @ladybug-182 @cas-and-their-refusal-to-write @trippingovermyfeet @melicmusicmagic @meimei3841 @roseliali

#a miraculous tiktok account #carapace #nino lahiffe #chat noir #adrien agreste #ladybug #marinette dupain cheng #queen bee #chloe bourgeois #rena rouge #alya cesaire #miraculous team #miraculous fic #ml fic #mlb #chloenette #chlonette #adrino

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hacked-by-jake · 3 years

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I'm very stressed with my job right now, I'm losing sleep because I'm anxious all the time but circumstances are not allowing me to leave (the current economy and also the 2 years left of the mandatory bond as part of the contract when I accepted the scholarship from the company). I'm sorry this is not as happy, but I just need to vent because I honestly feel on the verge of a breakdown any day :'(

Hey dear!

First of all, don’t worry! You can’t imagine how nice it is for me to see you write me about it! I feel very honored and believe me, I like listening to it so much. You can vent here as much as you need! Feel free!

Well, of course I’m very sorry to hear that. I can only imagine a little in what situation you are in and how you feel. And unfortunately, I don’t have any real tips for you either, because you say you can’t go, it makes most of it pretty hard for me.

But first I want to say, please take care of yourself and listen to your feelings and emotions. Don’t try to push everything away and pretend it’s nothing, okay? This is not a good way, even if I can imagine that this is the easiest for you right now.

I don’t know what it’s like or what the general situation is, but maybe it would be better for you and your health at least a few days, even if it’s just one to stay home? Maybe you can get write sick for a few days? Just to use a day just for you. To get away from the stress, even if it’s only a few hours. Just so you can get a little bit better and come down.

I don’t want to make it worse than it is, of course, but I’m honest, I worry about you. And no, not in the sense that you could be a burden, you certainly are not! But in the way that every human being is important. You’re important, even if we may not know each other, but I definitely don’t want you to be not well. Of course I don’t want it.

And, of course, I don’t know where you come from and how it works for you, but also a normal doctor, if you would tell him how you feel at the moment, they can also help you. Even if he may actually only write you sick for a few days (that would at least offer you a small way out of the contract to don't get problems there) Of course, I don’t know how this all works for you here either, but so I suppose.

I don’t like someone else saying, "Get help, go to a psychologist or something," because I know how hard this decision is. And also that sometimes there are circumstances that don’t make it easy. However, I would still advise you to at least think about whether you want to talk to someone who is professional because you say: "I’m anxious all the time". And this state unfortunately usually does not go well for long. I mean, before you’re really at the end, maybe it would be better to really listen to it now.

While you are not at work, try to focus on what you want. Try to do things that relax you, especially before going to sleep.

(Sometimes a change of shower with hot and cold water helps me before sleeping) For example, such things.

Try to relax, read something or watch a movie, listen to music, do something else (depending on your working hours)

Just do whatever you like to do, even if it’s just tiny things, and maybe even short things. But as long as you can distract yourself for 2 seconds, it’s already been good.

Just try to focus on things that are good for yourself.

And yes, I know, often this is easier said than done, and I also know very well how sleep problems feel and how exhausting this is, but I can unfortunately only give you such tips. And even if you may have to force yourself, try to free your mind, at least when you’re not at work, from your work and allow yourself to take a break. You don’t always have to be 100% there or talk everything well. It’s okay to say you’re not okay.

What I can also recommend to you, whenever you come home, write down the day. Go through everything and think about it. If something didn’t go well, write it down and tell yourself it’s over. All that was not good is now over and another thought of it is not worth it. Write down everything, your feelings, when you talked to someone, and that didn’t go well, write down things you would have liked to say to the person. Maybe someone was not fair to you, insult the person, say anything you want, that helps me sometimes, maybe you too.

Take this as a kind of graduation for the day at work and then go to the here and now, and stick to the things you like.

And I can offer you to keep coming back to me and vent. You can come into my ask box or also in my private messages that I have no problem. Talking to someone you don’t know is often very helpful and I like to listen to you.

And please remember, you are not alone; you are not weak when you admit that you are not well. It’s not bad that you’re not well, and that’s not something you have to go through alone.

There is always some way, especially when it comes to your health, it is important to pay attention to it! Please be careful with yourself and take care of yourself. You're important to me. (As I said, we may not know each other, but that doesn’t change anything) You’re important because you’re human. Your well-being and your health are important to me, and yes, I appreciate you very much.

I hope that you will find more sleep the next night and that you will feel a little better in the next few days. I send you lots of virtual hugs and a lot of love! I’m thinking of you!💕

I hope I was able to help you at least a little!❤️

#anon #submission #just talking #you're amazing anon!#<3<3<3<3<3<3

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mrmallard · 3 years

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I watched a movie called Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown. There was a false start, I started watching it yesterday and I turned it off after about 30 minutes because I wasn't feeling it.

After explaining how I felt to a movie buff I know, how everything was So Much all the time - the colours are bright and saturated, the acting is very expressive and emotive, the movie's very stylish in its set design and direction and the actions taken by the characters all feel very bold - he put it into perspective by describing it as melodrama.

And I think that's a good way of putting it. Melodrama gets written off as shallow and overwrought and shitty, like how "melodramatic" is mostly used as a derogatory term, but it's a purely neutral term to describe a legitimate style of fiction. Everything is So Much because it's a melodrama.

What stumped me the most is that I thought this was a movie from like 2012 that was made deliberately retro, and I didn't understand the era it was drawing from. There's a fuzz to everything, but there's a fidelity to the picture that I mistook for it being shot more recently.

What tipped me off in the end was realising that Antonio Banderas' character was this baby-faced nerdlinger character who joins the main cast partway through.

This movie came out in 1988, which explains some of my confusion - but that introduces another issue, because the movie is both representative of an era of Spanish filmmaking I have no experience with, as well as presumably drawing from an even earlier, even more retro era of Spanish filmmaking that I'm even less experienced with. I'm lost on so many levels.

It's got a very 50's vibe to it, from the outdoor patio of the lead character's apartment to the film company she works at dubbing old Hollywood movies. So it's retro on top of retro. And I got the impression that it was the sort of thing that would go on to inspire Kill Bill, so the whole thing's just dripping in context from all directions that I wasn't at all prepared to handle.

But I will say this about Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown.

The first 30 minutes are a bit overwhelming if you're not feeling the style of the movie, but once the movie starts introducing more characters, everything starts firing on all cylinders. There's a bunch of different stories that tie into each other in the most unexpected ways, you get used to the melodrama and hopefully start to get into it (I did), and by the end of the movie I think you'll be fairly entertained.

If you're more of a movie buff than I am, you'll probably dig the style. Part of the retro charm is due to when it was made, but I strongly believe that it incorporates deliberately retro aesthetics for the time to give the movie that feeling of a timeless pastiche. The opening in particular felt very 50's.

It was made by a famous Spanish director, he's still making movies and a lot of actors from this movie still show up in his current work. He also made a movie called Dark Habits about a group of crooked nuns, I saw some of it at one point.

Honestly, after Booksmart, Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown wasn't an ideal follow-up. It's like reading Norm MacDonald's autobiography, then following it up with a noir-tinged romance novel inspired by French cinema. But once you give it time to settle, it's a really good movie.

#women on the verge of a nervous breakdown

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sanderssides-springfling · 4 years

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hello! this gift is for @sanderssnoots! i had. so much with this ngl, may have gone a little overboard but aaa. i tried to incorporate all three of the prompts and hopefully this turned out ok haha. i really hope you enjoy this dude ^^

summary: after moving to a new school in an old city, virgil meets remus, a particularly attractive fellow who seems familiar somehow...

TW: Panic attack, Remus, threats, homophobia, curing

"Breathe for me," a muffled voice said.

Virgil closed his eyes, wishing for everything to just stop.

"C'mon, count with me," the voice said, clearer now. It was soothing, calming, real. Not like the other voices Virgil was hearing.

The voice began to count and Virgil attempted to copy it in his head. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

Wait. He knew these numbers. He was supposed to breath, wasn't he? That's what the voice had told him to do.

He continued to count and tried to get a steady breathing pattern whilst doing so. In for four. Hold for seven. Out for eight. In. Hold. Out. In. Out.

He opened his eyes and his big brother was there besides him. Virgil collapsed into Remy, burying his head in his chest and breathing softly. Remy gently wrapped his arms around Virgil, circling his hands over his back in a comforting pattern.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" Remy asked.

Virgil shook his head.

"Was it school again?"

Virgil did nothing, seemingly indicating to Remy that it was indeed school.

"It's okay, Virge. You'll be out of there soon."

~*~

Virgil leant his head against the window, feeling the vibrations as the car sped down the road. They were moving, finally. Moving to a new city - or an old city, really, back to where Virgil had grown up. He guessed that his family finally realised that things in their new city weren't going great, or maybe things weren't going great for them. Either way, Virgil was more than happy to be returning to his real home.

He glanced over at Remy, unable to decipher whether he was sleeping or not - despite it being close to midnight and not even summertime, Remy was still wearing his sunglasses. But Virgil noticed the side of Remy's lips tip up into a sort of smirk, so he assumed that his older brother was awake, and watching him.

The street lights blurred in front of him, casting neon lights into the air. It wouldn't be long until they were at the new house, and then soon after a new school, and maybe everything would go back to normal.

~*~

Virgil peeked into the classroom, glancing around to find the least threatening person there. It was half way through the year, so he imagined that there wouldn't be many options anyway, but he could try.

Somebody barged past him, causing him to stumble to the side. After that, he was pushed into the classroom by whoever followed, and forced to stand awkwardly at the front. Brilliant.

"Hey," a voice said from the front row, "are you lost?”

Virgil glanced down at the person sat there, trying not to show them any emotion. "No, I..."

"Oh, are you new?" they asked.

Virgil nodded.

"You can sit with me," they said, patting the seat next to them. "My desk-mate just left."

Not wanting to argue any further, Virgil quickly took the seat besides them. He let out a breath. Front row seat wasn't... ideal, but at least he wasn't intruding on somebody else. This person had wanted him to sit with them, right?

"I'm Patton," they introduced, grinning at Virgil.

Virgil offered a small smile back. "Virgil."

"Oh! My friend Logan always goes on about a poet with that name-"

Patton went on to talk to Virgil about their friends, and about the school, and Virgil allowed himself to kick back and listen. He supposed they already had their own friends, their own life, and that was fine - Virgil wasn't really planning on making loads of friends, only planning to not make a complete fool of himself and end up making loads of enemies. And maybe Patton couldn't help with the friend situation, but they could certainly protect him for a little longer, at least for this hour...

"I'm sure they wouldn't mind you sitting with us for lunch, either," Patton said.

Virgil blinked. What? "Really?"

"Of course! Unless you have other friends, that is."

"I wouldn't want to intrude."

"You won't be intruding," Patton said, laughing. "I'd certainly be happy to have another friend around!"

Christ. This person was too friendly for their own good.

"Alright, then," Virgil said anyway, "thanks."

Patton grinned. "No problem!"

~*~

Virgil threw his backpack to the floor as he entered his new house, stepping into the living room only to be ambushed by Remy and tackled onto the sofa. For a moment, his body went into shock, before his reflexes kicked in and he kicked Remy off the sofa.

"Hey!" Remy protested.

Virgil stared at him, mouth open wide. "You're the one who tackled me onto the sofa!"

"You didn't have to kick me, though!" Remy scrambled back to his feet and sat on the sofa besides Virgil.

"That kick was utterly deserved," Virgil said, determinedly.

Remy sighed. "Well. Maybe you're right."

Virgil smirked. "Of course I'm right."

"How was school?" Remy asked, immediately changing the conversation.

Virgil shrugged. "Okay. Better, I think."

"Made any friends?"

"Kinda?" Virgil hummed. "Sat with a couple people at lunch. One's in my classes - Patton, their name is."

"Patton?" Remy considered that for a moment. "Sounds nice."

"Yeah." Virgil leant back. "You?"

"Oh, you know me," Remy said. "I'm already the most popular guy in my year."

Virgil rolled his eyes. "As if. Tell me the truth."

Remy looked kindly offended. "Hey! I'm good at socialising!"

Virgil raised an eyebrow skeptically.

"Okay, maybe I'm a bit of a disaster," Remy admitted. "But! I did meet up with some friends from before and I think I'll be able to reconnect with them."

"Oh! That's good!" Remy's life really was well more put together than Virgil's. He'd managed to stay in contact with his friends from before, something that Virgil had tried but ultimately failed to do. Of course, it would have helped if he had any good friends from before, or even just somebody who did more than just tolerate him. But it was whatever. Most people probably didn't recognise him now, let alone remember him.

"Well," Remy said, "maybe you can invite some of those new friends round."

Virgil laughed.

"What? I'm being serious!"

"I barely know them!" Virgil argued. "We're not on inviting-each-other-to-our-houses terms yet."

"Mom and Dad would get a kick out of it, though."

"They don't care," Virgil said. "As long as I'm emotionally stable, they won't care. Or, like, not on the verge of a breakdown."

Remy ruffled Virgil's hair. "They do care! I care, at least." He smiled. "I wanna meet them!"

"Absolutely not." Virgil crossed his arms.

Remy groaned. "Fine! I'll find them, though."

"How are you gonna do that?"

"I have connections."

"Like what?"

"I just made friends with this guy called Roman," Remy said. "He knows everybody."

Virgil giggled. "Well, good luck, then." He stood up. "Don't come in my room."

"You can't stop me!"

"I can!" He retreated upstairs.

~*~

Virgil glanced at a guy from the other side of the cafeteria. He had bleached blonde hair with the tips dyed a neon green, and wore a black denim jacket covered in band patches and pin badges. And Virgil couldn't stop staring at him.

"Who's that?" Virgil asked, turning to Patton. He had been sitting with them for a few days now, and was beginning to get the courage to actually talk to him.

Patton frowned. "Who?"

"Him," Virgil said, pointing to the guy and leaning in to Patton.

For a moment, Patton stared at the person too, before biting his lip. "Don't talk to him."

Virgil blinked. "Why?"

"That's Remus," Patton said. "Logan knows his brother. He, uh, well..." Patton hummed. "He's probably a nice person, but Logan's heard that he gets up to some... stuff."

"What kind of stuff?" Virgil wondered.

"Stuff that I probably shouldn't talk about in school," Patton said. "Just... I'd stay away from him, if I were you."

Virgil glanced down to the table, not really sure what to make of that. On the one hand, he somewhat trusted Patton, at least enough to believe their judgement, but on the other hand the guy didn't seem so bad. He looked like somebody that Virgil would get along with. Maybe someone he could get some fashion tips from.

But if Patton said he was bad, then maybe Virgil should listen. He had friends now, anyway. Things were gonna be okay.

~*~

"Hey," a person said, sitting down next to Virgil in the library. Virgil glanced at the newcomer, looking them up and down. They wore somewhat simple clothes - plain yellow t-shirt, black jacket, and a black beanie covering their natural blonde hair. Virgil noticed a few pin badges stuck to their jacket, including the bi flag and the nonbinary flag. He couldn't seem to stop staring at their eyes - one a light brown and the other a sickening shade of green.

"Hi?" Virgil whispered back, just slightly uncomfortable.

"You can call me D," they said, simply.

"...okay?"

"I saw you staring at Remus last week," D continued.

Virgil blinked. "Oh."

"If you have a problem with him, then that goes through me, okay?"

Virgil frowned. "I don't have a problem with him."

D glared at him. "Why else would you be staring at him?"

"I..." Virgil shrugged. "I don't know. I didn't mean to. I just liked his jacket."

D didn't seem to know what to make of that. "Oh. So... you're cool with him?"

"I guess?" Virgil looked away. "I mean, I don't know him, exactly. But I have no reason to dislike him."

D hummed. "You're friends with Patton, right?"

"Kinda?" Virgil tapped his fingers on the table. "I've been sitting with them. They haven't been mean to me."

"Huh." D sighed. "Well, whatever." They stood up. "Stay away from Remus. You made him kinda uncomfortable."

Before Virgil had a chance to ask what D meant, let alone say goodbye, they were gone again.

~*~

Virgil walked into the kitchen to find his brother and... another person burning some pancakes. He didn't recognise the other person, but assumed he was in the same year as Remy. He wore a floor length red dress and an almost perfect smile on his face, despite the fact that the stove was very nearly on fire.

"Jesus Christ, Remy turn the heat down," Virgil said, rushing over to the stove and turning the heat down. "You're gonna burn down the house."

"No we’re not," the guest said. "If we cook at a higher temperature than the recipe says, the pancakes will be done quicker."

Virgil breathed in, deeply. "That- That isn't how cooking works."

"Of course it is!"

"Sorry, Virge," Remy said, taking the pan off the stove and turning it off completely. The pancake - or, at least, what could loosely be described as a pancake - was burnt to a crisp. "Roman and I were curious."

Virgil hummed. "Roman?"

"My friend," Remy said, grinning.

"He seems like a bad influence."

"Hey!" Roman exclaimed, looking highly offended. Virgil smirked a little, as it reminded him of his own brother.

"Who taught you how to cook?" Virgil asked.

"I did," Roman said, proudly.

Virgil snorted. "Well. Maybe get some actual lessons." He sighed. "I'll make the pancakes. You two stay far away from the stove."

Apparently not wanting to argue any further, Remy and Roman retreated to the table, whilst Virgil took over cooking, throwing out the burnt pancake and starting to make a fresh one. As he cooked, he half-listened to the conversation behind him, not really paying attention until-

"-my brother, Remus-"

"Remus?" Virgil repeated, glancing back.

Roman stared back at him. "Do you know him?"

Virgil hesitated. "We, uh, assuming we're talking about the same Remus, I haven't spoken to him, but I've heard about it, and seen him around..."

He put the final pancake onto the pile and moved them to the kitchen table, moving to grab three plates and a few toppings for the three of them to eat.

"Remus would probably like you," Roman said. "From what I've heard from Remy at least, it sounds like you two have a lot in common."

Frowning, Virgil replied, "Really?" He dragged a pancake onto his plate and drowned it in maple syrup.

"I mean, you listen to a lot of the same music," Roman said, shrugging. "He likes horror games. He dabbles in stage makeup."

"I don't dabble in stage makeup," Virgil said, noticeably not disagreeing with the rest.

"Oh my God, Roman, you should have seen him when he was fourteen," Remy said, leaning over the table closer to Roman. "I swear to God, I've never seen somebody wear so much eyeliner-"

"Shut up," Virgil said through gritted teeth.

"Honestly," Remy continued, "I don't think he's ever fully come out of his emo phase, but at least he's learned how much eyeliner is generally acceptable."

"I'm right here, you know."

"Oh! You should've seen Remus a couple years ago!" Roman chuckled. "He was very much falling with the eyeliner as well. And everything else. I had to teach him everything just so he wouldn't go out looking like a complete idiot."

Remy asked. "Wait, maybe you could give Virgil some tips!"

"I don't need any tips," Virgil said, dragging the plate of pancakes closer to himself so the other two would find it harder to reach them - a tiny act of revenge.

"Oh my God, I'd actually be so down to teach him, though! I could go through some cool eyeshadow stuff, like different colours and stuff, Remus and I did some pride flag ones a couple years ago when we went to a parade-"

Virgil stood up. "Okay, I guess I'll leave since you guys already think I'm not in the room." He made his way back to his bedroom, taking the plate of pancakes with him.

~*~

Virgil couldn't stop staring at Remus. He seemed to see him every single day, always walking in the same places, almost as if they were following each other. And Remus never caught him staring, but sometimes Virgil felt like he was staring back, even if Virgil himself couldn't see him in the area.

Patton and Logan stopped taking notice. For a while, they would ask Virgil about it, continuously warning him that Remus wouldn't be good for him. But soon they stopped. Maybe they realised that Virgil wouldn't stop.

And despite the fact that the two had never interacted, Virgil found himself completely obsessed with Remus. It almost scared him.

One day in Spring, a month or so after Virgil joined the school, he was standing alone in the hallway, waiting for Patton to leave their class, when somebody bumped into his shoulder. Adrenaline immediately kicked in as his brain told him that it was going to be exactly the same as last time, that the safety he was beginning to feel at this new school had been shattered, but then he saw who it was and he froze.

Remus stood a few steps away from Virgil, glancing back and smirking. He began to slowly walk down the hallway, glancing back every few seconds, almost as if he was expecting Virgil to follow.

He did. Virgil stalked behind him, still a few metres away. Remus sped up, and Virgil copied, following him until they had made it out of the school and round the corner, to a small garden behind the school. Remus sat down on a bench and looked Virgil in the eyes, patting the seat besides him. Frowning, Virgil went over and sat down.

"Hey," Remus said. "What's your name?"

Virgil blinked. "Uh, Virgil."

"Virgil," Remus whispered. "Huh. Roman mentioned a Virgil..."

"He- what?"

"Oh, nothing." Remus hummed. "Have you been following me?"

"What?"

"I see you everywhere," Remus said. "D has, too. They were starting to get concerned-"

Virgil glanced down. "D spoke to me ages ago. They told me to stay away from you."

Remus raised an eyebrow. "Oh, did they? And yet you still continued to follow me everywhere?"

"I haven't been following you," Virgil said, truthfully. "I actually thought you were following me."

Remus laughed.

Virgil frowned. "What's funny about that?"

"Well, other than the fact that it is a tiny bit true, I just think it's funny that we both thought we had stalkers."

"I didn't think you were stalking me," Virgil said.

To that, Remus just smirked at him. Virgil tried his best to avoid his gaze.

"I know you from somewhere," Remus claimed.

Virgil fiddled with his fingers. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." He hummed. "I can't... I've been trying to figure it out but can't for the life of me. You are new at this school, right? Like, you weren't just hiding?”

Virgil breathed in. "I'm new. But I lived in this city when I was younger."

Remus' eyes widened. "Wait, shit, are you Virgil Sanders."

Virgil glanced at him. "Yeah?"

"I'm Remus Prince," Remus said.

Virgil blinked. "Okay?"

"We... You went to Saint John's Elementary School, right?"

Virgil's eyes widened. "Wait, Duke?"

Remus held his arms out. "The one and only."

"Oh my God!" That's why Virgil couldn't stop staring at Remus. They were... God, Remus was...

~*~

Virgil didn't have many friends back in Elementary School. Well, he didn't have many friends period, but at least in Elementary School he had the fantasy gang.

He wasn't exactly friends with anyone in the fantasy gang. They would just play together during the breaks. He wasn't even sure on all of their names - none of them were in his classes, so he only ever spent around twenty minutes with them every day.

There weren't a lot of them. There was Virgil, playing the Knight, and the others - the Princess, the Dragon, the Queen and the King.

And then there was the only one that Virgil was particularly close to - the Duke.

In the fantasy world the six of them had created, him and the Duke spent a lot of time together, as both of them set off on the quest to save the Princess. They would often fight the Dragon side by side, and during scenes with just the royals they would both sit to the side and chat, with no real reason for them to join in on the action.

He remembered that the Duke liked swinging on the trees. There was one tree in the corner of the playground which had branches low enough to climb, so the Duke would make his way up there and hang upside, mostly just to make Virgil laugh. Maybe he realised that things weren't going great for Virgil, and that by doing that Virgil would gain a tiny bit of happiness. To be fair, it worked. Virgil himself never wanted to climb the tree, for fear that he might fall down, but that was fine - he enjoyed sitting at the bottom and watching the Duke from afar.

They never talked much about themselves, but sometimes Remus would mention his older brother, and Virgil would talk about his older brother too. A lot of the time, though, they'd just sit together under the tree as they watched the rest of the fantasy gang play, waiting for their own turn.

One day Remus leant his head on Virgil's shoulder, and that was the day that Virgil realised he had made a friend.

~*~

"We have a problem," Roman said, shoving Remy's school books out the way and sitting on the desk in front of him.

Remy looked up, looking slightly annoyed. "I was doing that, y'know."

"Okay, but I have tea," Roman said.

Remy immediately refocused his attention onto Roman. "Spill. Now."

"My brother has a crush," Roman began.

Remy hummed. "Yeah, not surprising."

"On your brother."

Remy slammed his hands on the table. "No way."

"Yes, way." Roman grinned. "Remus and Virgil are in love and they're both too dumb to realise it."

"How do you know?" Remy asked.

"I'm an expert on romance, obviously."

Remy rolled his eyes. "Seriously. Has Remus said anything?"

"Well, no, not exactly, but-"

"We've gotta be sure," Remy interrupted. "I wouldn't... Virgil's already been through so much."

"I'm sure that Remus likes him. He won't shut up about him," Roman said. "I was reading some of his writing the other day, and I swear to God one of the characters in it was some sort of fictional version of Virgil. The love interest, as well."

Remy raised an eyebrow. "Your brother writes?"

"He does murder mysteries," Roman quickly said. "He doesn't really like me reading them, but he's always stealing my sketchbook so he can't really say anything." He breathed in. "Anyway, I'm certain that Remus is into Virgil."

Remy hummed. "I'm not sure if Virgil is, though."

"No, he definitely is," Roman said. "I have a friend - well, not really ‘friend’, but we're in the same theatre company. His name's Logan. And he's also friends with Virgil, I think..."

Remy nodded. "Yeah, Virge mentioned a Logan at one point."

"Right. Well, I was talking to Logan, and he told me that Virgil is always staring at Remus. Like, an unhealthy amount." Roman sighed. "I'm just... why else would Virgil be staring at Remus?"

Remy pursed his lips. "We should set them up."

Roman gasped. "Oh my God, yes!"

"I don't know how, though. Convincing Virgil to leave the house would be a nightmare."

Roman smirked. "I have an idea."

~*~

He was in his kitchen. Why the fuck was Remus in his kitchen?

"Oh, hey Virge," Remus said, ignoring Virgil's puzzled expression as he raided the fridge.

"Who let you in my house?"

"Oh, my brother is hanging out with your brother and I'm not allowed to be in the house by myself," Remus said, as he took out a salad - Virgil's salad that he was saving for later - and began to eat it.

"And now you're stealing my salad," Virgil sighed.

Remus blinked. "Oh, shit, is this yours?" he asked, shoving it towards Virgil.

"Well." Virgil smacked his lips together. "It was. But I can make another." He climbed onto the table and sat on it cross legged, as Remus took a chair and placed the salad in front of him. "So. Why aren't you allowed to be home alone?"

"That's... a long story."

Virgil shrugged. "I'm not doing anything."

Remus eyes lit up. "Well. I'd imagine it has something to do with that time I almost burnt the house down trying to find out what would happen if I put eggs into the microwave."

Virgil blinked. "How- How did you almost burn the house down doing that-"

Remus grinned. "Well, the microwave exploded 'cause I put, like, ten eggs in there, and then it set fire to the curtains in the kitchen, and long story short, the fire engines didn't take long to arrive."

Virgil breathed in. "Was everything okay?"

"Yeah, it was fine. The curtains are just a little scarred." He hummed. "Although, it could also have something to do with the fact that I attempted a blood sacrifice in the living room..."

"You what?" Virgil exclaimed.

Remus laughed. "I was, like, ten, okay? And I didn't get very far. I found a dead rat in the street and thought that if I used that as a sacrifice I could summon a demon, which would be so cool, y'know?"

Virgil chuckled. "I mean, I guess that would be cool."

"Right?" Remus shook his head. "My parents, however, did not think it was cool."

For a moment, the two just stared at each other, smiling softly, because Virgil finally said, "I missed you, y'know?"

Remus blinked. "Huh?"

"When we... Well, you were just about my only friend," Virgil said. "And I know we didn't hang out much, but we always had such a good time."

Remus smiled. "Yeah. The fantasy gang was great."

"I didn't care about the rest of them," Virgil said. “Just... Just you."

Remus fell silent. "Oh."

"And when we did move away, I didn't really have anyone else. I mean, I had Remy, but..." He glanced down, fixing his eyes on the table.

"Did you... not make any new friends?" Remus wondered.

Virgil plastered on a smile. "I've never been one for new people."

Remus hummed. "You made friends with Patton pretty quickly, though."

"They didn't really give me much of a choice." Virgil sighed. "Things... weren't great at the new school. I mean, they weren't brilliant back when we were friends, but... at least we were friends."

Remus smiled, staring at Virgil for a moment longer with fondness in his eyes. "How come you didn't speak to me sooner?"

Virgil blinked. "What?"

"I mean, you saw me weeks ago, right?" Remus said. "Like, you could've spoken to me then."

"I wanted to," Virgil admitted. "Not because I recognised you, but because... I don't know. I felt drawn to you, I guess." He fiddled with his fingers. "But Patton told me not too. And then D told me to stay away from you. So..."

Remus reached over and grabbed Virgil's hands, squeezing them a little too tight, but Virgil didn't protest. "Don't listen to them. I... felt drawn to you too, I guess. I still do."

Virgil smiled.

~*~

"Oh my God," Remy moaned, stepping back into his bedroom, where Roman waited sprawled across his bed, after having spied on Virgil and Remus.

"What's going on?" Roman asked, immediately jumping up and readjusting his skirt.

Remy collapsed onto his bed. "They're being insufferably cheesy. And they haven't even realised that they're in love yet!"

"What are they talking about?" Roman asked. "Tell me everything."

Remy sighed. "They're, like, talking about how they used to be friends or something, and how they missed each other, and then they start saying that they're drawn to each other. Like, what does that even mean?"

Roman grinned. "It means they like each other, Remy. They're soulmates."

“Soulmates aren’t real, Roman.”

“Shut up, they totally are.” Roman clapped his hands together. “Maybe we should talk to them. Help them to realise.”

Remy hummed. “They won’t confess today, will they?”

“Unless we can talk to either of them in private,” Roman said.

“I’ll talk to Virgil after school tomorrow,” Remy decided. “You talk to Remus?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

~*~

When Virgil walked through his front door the following afternoon, he stopped in his path as he saw Remy leaning against the wall, a smirk upon his face.

Virgil blinked. “What have you done now?”

“So.” Remy pushed himself off the wall, stepping towards his younger brother. “You and Remus, huh?”

Virgil frowned. “What… What about us?”

“I heard you two are pretty close,” he said, raising an eyebrow.

“I mean, we’re friends, I guess?” Virgil attempted to walk further into the house, but Remy blocked him.

“Just friends?”

Virgil blinked. “Wh-What else would we be?”

“Well, what do you think of Remus?” Remy asked.

“I- I don’t-” He breathed in. “Wait, do you think I like him?”

Remy hummed. “Perhaps.”

“We’re just friends,” Virgil said. “He’s a nice guy, I guess. We were friends when we were kids, and now we’re friends again.”

“Hmm.”

“What?” Virgil sighed. “Is this because I stare at him a lot? It’s not my fault that he has such an amazing fashion sense. And a beautiful white strip of hair always falling over his eyes. Beautiful eyes, actually - have you seen them? They have, like, little green specks in them.”

Remy giggled.

“What?”

“Just, the way you’re talking about him is proving my point.”

“I’m not…” Virgil’s eyes widened. “Shit.” It made sense, actually. It explained why he was so drawn to Remus, why he couldn’t stop staring at him, why he couldn’t get him out of his mind. “Fuck, maybe I do like him,” he whispered.

Remy’s giggling grew louder, until he turned around and walked upstairs.

“Remy, wait, I-”

Remy slammed his bedroom door, leaving Virgil alone with his thoughts.

~*~

Virgil stared at Remus across the cafeteria. Watched him laugh with D, play with his food, just be an absolute dork, and Virgil couldn’t help but be mesmerised by his every action. Remy’s words from the day before circled around his head, the revelation that he had since come to accept as the absolute truth. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep this up for.

He stood up.

“Virgil,” Patton said, “are you-”

“I’ll be right back,” he said, walking away from the table despite Patton’s protests.

He came up besides Remus and placed his hand on the table next to him, ignoring the glares he got from D. Remus looked up at him, a little alarmed.

“Uhm, can I-”

“Come with me,” Virgil said, grabbing Remus’ wrist and dragging him from the scene. Remus followed willingly, but Virgil didn’t let go of his wrist. Virgil led him out of the cafeteria and around a corner, to a corridor devoid of students.

“Virgil, what-”

“I know we probably shouldn’t be talking right now,” Virgil said. “Since D and Patton probably aren’t too happy. But…”

“It’s okay,” Remus said. “D won’t mind. And if Patton says anything I will fight them.”

“You absolutely will not fight them,” Virgil said. “Patton may be wrong about you, but they’re still a good friend.”

Remus shrugged. “Okay then. But what did you want?”

Virgil breathed in. “Okay, so, I’ve been thinking an awful lot lately, and I’ve realised that…” His hands were getting sweaty and his heart rate was beginning to increase. “I, uh…” Why had he thought this would be a good idea?“

Remus frowned. "Are you okay? You look a little pale.”

Virgil cleared his thought. “Yeah, I’m fine.” He breathed in again. “Um, basically, I…”

“Let me guess, you’re madly in love with me,” Remus joked.

Virgil glanced down, avoiding Remus’ gaze.

Remus blinked. “Wait, shit, was that right?”

Virgil smiled nervously. “Uh… maybe?”

Remus laughed. “Seriously?”

Fuck. Remus thought it was funny. That… That must mean he didn’t feel the same way, right? That must mean that Virgil had majorly fucked up somehow. Shit - what if Remus wasn’t even gay? He did have a rainbow pin in his jacket, but he was also friends with D so maybe that was just to show his support. Virgil didn’t remember Remus ever mentioning an attraction to guys.

God, why had he just jumped into like that? Under any other circumstances, he wouldn’t have. Under any other circumstances, he would have stood back and thought about it, made sure that he wouldn’t ruin his life by acting upon his impulses.

What if this meant that Remus would stop being friends with Virgil? What if he thought it was weird? What if it made him uncomfortable? What if Remus hatedhim because of this? What if?

Remus stopped laughing. He placed a hand on Virgil’s shoulder, now looking serious. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Virgil used all of his willpower to stop himself from shoving Remus’ hand off. “I’m sorry. I… You don’t feel the same way, I get it. I shouldn’t have sprung that on you. And, um, if it makes you uncomfortable-”

Remus snorted. “Sorry, if it makes me what?”

Virgil blinked. “I- If me liking you like that is, like, weird? I mean, I get it. You’re not gay, or whatever, and we’re just friends, so…”

That made Remus laugh even harder.

Virgil tried to steady his breathing. “Wh-What’s so funny about that?”

After composing himself, Remus shook his head, a massive grin across his face. “Sorry, I just… I’m offended that you’d even think that I’m straight.”

Virgil blinked. “You’re… You’re not straight?”

“Are you kidding me?” Remus closed his eyes. “I am a massive homosexual. I don’t know why anybody would think otherwise.”

Okay. So he was attracted to men. That was at least one good thing. “But…”

“And I don’t find it weird,” Remus continued. “At all. I mean, I’d be lying if I said I haven’t thought about kissing you on multiple occasions.”

Virgil’s eyes widened. Did… Did that mean…

“I guess what I’m trying to say,” Remus said, taking Virgil’s hands, “is that I feel the same way.”

Virgil looked back up, making eye contact with Remus, and smiled.

“I’m fact, if it’s something that you want, I’d be honoured to be your boyfriend,” Remus announced.

And in that moment, Virgil was sure that he would cry.

~*~

“We need to talk,” Patton said, as Virgil left his final class. The two began to walk down the hallway and out the school, Virgil’s anxiety beginning to kick in.

“Am I in trouble?” he asked.

Patton frowned. “No? Why would you think you’re in trouble?”

Virgil shrugged. “I don’t know. Why else would you want to talk to me?”

“You’re not in trouble,” Patton promised, eyes darting around. “I’m just… concerned.”

“About what?”

Patton pursed their lips. “You talked to Remus earlier, right?”

“Yeah,” Virgil confirmed. “He’s an alright guy, actually.”

They stepped out the school, Virgil adjusting his backpack slightly.

“I know you and Logan have something against him, or whatever, but…” Virgil shrugged. “I knew him when we were kids. And we’ve reconnected, I guess. I promise he’s an alright guy.”

Patton glanced at him, skeptically, but apparently gave in. “Well, alright. Be careful, though. If he hurts you, tell me.”

Virgil faked a smile. “Yeah, of course.”

Patton nodded. “Well. Take care.” They smiled, and then ran off to join Logan on the other side of the field, leaving Virgil to walk home alone.

~*~

“Remus,” D said. “Are you even listening to me?”

Remus tore his eyes away from Virgil and looked back at D. “Huh?”

D sighed. “I was saying that you seem a little distracted lately. So I guess that proves my point.”

“Yeah, definitely,” Remus said, eyes drifting back towards Virgil.

“Remus,” D said again, more forcibly. “What’s going on?”

Remus blinked, and returned his attention to D. “Oh, I have a boyfriend.”

D frowned. “You do?”

“Yeah,” Remus said. “Sorry, did I not mention?”

D glanced to the side, trying to follow Remus’ previous gaze. “No, actually, you didn’t.”

“Oh. Well. Now you know.”

“Who is it?” D asked.

“Just some guy, you wouldn’t know him,” Remus said.

“Remus.”

“Okay, okay.” He breathed in. “His name is Virgil.”

D gasped. “As in, Virgil the stalker?”

“He’s a stalker!” Remus defended. “If anything I’m the stalker.”

“I thought we decided that you should stay away from him,” D recalled.

“Yeah, well, me and him go way back, okay?” Remus sighed. “I know what I’m doing. Virgil is good for me.”

“I don’t want you to get hurt,” D said.

“I’m not gonna get hurt.” Remus smiled. “If he ever breaks my heart, I give you full permission to murder him.”

D raised an eyebrow.

“Actually, no,” Remus decided. “You can’t murder him. Because I like him. But if he hurts me you can definitely fight him.”

D smirked. “Wow. No murder. You must really like him this time.”

“Shut up,” Remus said, chuckling.

~*~

Virgil rested his head on Remus’s shoulder, as Remus absentmindedly stroked through Virgil’s hair. They were sat on Virgil’s bed, trying their hardest to ignore the noise from Remy and Roman next door. It was nice like this. Just the two of them.

Turning his head to the side, Virgil stretched his neck out and pecked Remus on the cheek, something that he’d been wanting to do for a while. And although Remus tried to play it off, Virgil caught his cheeks turning a light shade of red.

Virgil snuggled further into his side, slowly wrapping his arm around Remus’ back and beginning to draw invisible circles on his arm. He listened to Remus humming in appreciation, and Virgil allowed himself to melt into his body, feeling perfectly content.

After a few more moments of pure bliss, Remus twisted his head down to look at Virgil. He leant down, so close that Virgil was able to feel his breath on his face, and then their two lips interlocked, and Virgil’s heart burst.

It wasn’t quite how he imagined, but that was okay. Somehow, it was even better. Remus was passionate, and daring, and didn’t hold back, and Virgil couldn’t have been more happy about that fact. Virgil himself was timid, and he knew that, and it was a part of him he was willing to accept, but having Remus here… well, it made him feel alive. Made him feel like he could do anything.

Like, for instance, it made him feel as though he could kiss Remus back. Still connected to Remus, Virgil pushed himself up so he was no longer slouched on Remus’ body. He pushed Remus against the wall, kissing back harder. At first, Remus seemed a little surprised, but he soon caught on and kissed back, sending the two into battle.

A battle to see who’s love was stronger, who’s passion was larger. And there wasn’t a winner, exactly. Or a loser. Just the plain, simple evidence that the two’s hearts were better as one, that they were meant to be.

They danced around each other, wanting more and more, and never wanting to stop.

They were happy.

~*~

Remus nudged Virgil’s shoulder. “You’ll have to tell them eventually, y'know.”

Virgil glanced down. “I… I know. It’s harder with them.”

“They do know that you’re gay, right?” Remus checked.

Virgil nodded. “Well, yeah, of course. Who doesn’t?”

"So what are you so afraid of?”

Virgil breathed in and out. “Look, Patton’s having a hard enough time wrapping their head around the fact that you’re my friend, let alone boyfriend.”

Remus backed off a little after that statement. “Ah. That would be an issue.”

“Yeah.” Virgil shoved his hands in his pockets. “I just… I need to wait for the right time. I’m sure they’ll come around eventually.”

“Why do they hate me, anyway?” Remus wondered.

Virgil shrugged. “No clue. Apparently Logan told them something. They won’t tell me what.”

“Oh.” Remus hummed. “Logan is friends with Roman, I think. Wouldn’t be surprised if Roman has told him horror stories, or something. Either way, they’re probably not true.”

Virgil laughed nervously. “Probably?” he repeated.

“Well, I have done some shit,” Remus admitted. “Nothing dangerous.”

Virgil raised an eyebrow. “Anything illegal?”

Remus thought for a moment. “I mean, probably.”

“Oh, shit, am I dating a criminal mastermind?”

“Would that be a problem for you?”

“No, no.” Virgil chuckled. “Actually, I think I’d be pretty into it.”

“Oh, in that case, I do in fact break laws daily,” Remus said. “I’m wanted in all seven continents and constantly on the run. Crime is my favourite thing to do.”

Virgil laughed, not even attempting - or wanting - to hold it back.

“I’m all seriousness though,” Remus said, “I haven’t broken any serious laws. I haven’t done any of the drugs and I haven’t murdered anyone just yet.”

“Should I be concerned about the yet part?” Virgil asked.

“Honestly if I were dating me, I’d be a little concerned in general.” Remus grinned.

Virgil smiled back. “But if you haven’t done the drugs or the murder yet, what have you done?”

“Oh, y'know. The usual.” He shrugged. “Pirating. Underage drinking. A little light shoplifting.”

“Eh. Who doesn’t do that?” Virgil shook his head. “I mean, asides from the shoplifting, I don’t think many people do that, but if it’s from a large corporation and you need the stuff I don’t really see the issue.”

Remus smirked. “So… you don’t mind?”

Virgil shrugged. “Be gay, do crime, am I right?”

“Oh thank fuck.”

~*~

Virgil sat at the dinner table, feeding himself spaghetti and trying to ignore his fathers gaze.

“So,” his mother said, looking expectedly at Virgil, “how come you never invite your friend around when we’re home.”

Virgil frowned. “What friend?”

“Y'know, that friend,” his mother repeated. “The one that’s always around.” She turned to his brother. “Remy, dear, what did you say his name was?”

“You mean Remus?” Remy offered.

“Remus! That’s it.” His mother turned back to Virgil. “He’s come round a few times now, hasn’t he?”

There was a brief silence as Virgil sucked up his piece of spaghetti, mostly to avoid the question. “He’s a friend,” he finally said.

His mother smiled, but it seemed somewhat bitter. “I’m glad you’re making friends, Virgil, but it just seems odd. You’ve never really invited anyone over before.”

“Oh. Well.” Virgil shrugged. “He’s my boyfriend. So I guess that’s a little different.”

His mother giggled. Remy glanced at Virgil, looking alarmed. His father just stared harder.

“What?” Virgil felt his shoulder tense up. “I’m not joking. Remus is actually my boyfriend.”

His mother snorted. “Yeah, real funny Virgil. We know you’re not… that.”

Virgil frowned. “Actually, uh, I am. I’ve known that I’m gay for a while now. So.”

His mother stared at him. “You’re not joking, are you?” she said, sounding serious.

Virgil locked his eyes on the table. Why the fuck had he done that? He… He should’ve known that his mother would react that way. The family always tended to shy away from that kind of stuff - asides from Remy, of course, supportive as ever - so why would he even think that his mother would be okay with any of this?

Remy raised a hand. “Uh, if it’s any consolation, I’m also gay. And I’m pretty sure Dad’s bisexual, not gonna lie.”

His father glared daggers at Remy, and Remy lowered his hand.

“Okay, maybe he isn’t bi, but I am actually a massive homosexual.”

“Remy, you’re not helping,” his mother said, through gritted teeth. She turned back to Virgil, plastering on a fake smile. “How long have you been like that?”

Virgil frowned. “Well, I’d imagine my whole life, but I realised when I was, like, thirteen? Fourteen? Some time around then.”

His mother shook her head. “No, that can’t be right. I mean, you haven’t had any… any boyfriends before, have you?”

Virgil rolled his eyes. “I haven’t really had any friends period. I’m just nowstarting to get friends and the fact I also just happen to enjoy kissing one of them doesn’t change that.”

“Don’t talk about kissing boys at the dinner table,” his mother chided.

“If I was talking about kissing girls would you think differently?”

His mother spluttered, not able to get any words out.

“Thought so.” Virgil stood up. “I guess I’ll just got talk about kissing boys somewhere else.” He left the kitchen, taking his spaghetti with him.

~*~

There was a gentle knock on his bedroom door. Assuming that it was his mother, Virgil wrapped his blankets tighter around him and tried to wipe away his tears and steady his breathing. Maybe if she thought he wasn’t in here, she would go away.

He heard the door open, footsteps creeping towards his bed, and felt somebody weigh down on him, sitting on the end of his bed. He buried himself deeper into his mattress, trying his very hardest to disappear. The person placed a hand on Virgil’s back - or his duvet, really - and rubbed gently. Virgil wanted to swipe the hand away, until he heard a voice.

“Hey, Virge.” It was Remy. Just Remy. “I’m… sorry about back there. I know Mom can be a little intense.”

Virgil turned over, unwrapping his blankets slightly so he could see Remy. “That wasn’t intense. That was just…”

“I know, I know.” Remy sighed. “She’ll come around.”

Virgil closed his eyes, trying to stop his tears. “I don’t think she will.”

“She will,” Remy promised. “And… if she doesn’t, if it gets any worse, I’ll just take you away. We can get our own place and you can have as many boyfriends as you want. I mean, I’m assuming you just want the one, but you know what I mean. We’d never even have to see her again.”

“And Dad?” Virgil wondered. “He didn’t even say anything.”

“He’ll come around too,” Remy promised. “They both will. Things will get better.”

Virgil lifted his blanket over his head again.

“If it makes any difference, I’m happy for you,” Remy said. “You have an amazing boyfriend, and being gay is just about the best thing you can be.”

Virgil huffed, smiling a little.

“Do you want me to stay here?” Remy asked.

“No, it’s fine,” Virgil said. “You go back to bed.”

“Okay.” Remy patted him. “I’m next door if you next anything.”

~*~

Virgil felt himself get pushed against the wall. He had just left his class before lunch, and turned into an empty hallway when the attacker stuck. His heart rate increased, brain screaming that things were going back to the way it was before, but then the ‘attacker’ pressed against his lips, kissing him, and Virgil realised what was going on. He relaxed a little, kissing back.

Eventually Remus pulled away, and smirked at Virgil. “Oh my God, you should’ve seen your face then.”

Virgil breathed in. “That wasn’t funny, Remus. I was genuinely afraid for a second.”

“What did you think I was gonna do?”

Virgil sighed. “I dunno. Punch me. Kick me. Threaten me with a knife.”

Remus seemed a little upset about that. “Why would I do any of that?”

“Usually when people push me against a wall, it means one of those three things are coming,” Virgil said, through a smile. He began to walk down the hall again, towards the cafeteria.

“Has… Has that happened to you before?” Remus asked, jogging a little to catch up.

“Well, asides from the knife part.” Virgil shrugged. “I mean, you know about my last school, right?”

“I know you said you had a hard time there, but…”

“Well, that was what I was talking about.” Virgil shoved his hands in his pockets. “I mean, not just that, of course, but that was a big part of it.”

“Virgil,” Remus said, softly, “I’m sorry.”

Virgil shrugged. “Eh. It’s in the past. Nothing bad has happened at this school yet. And I’ve got you to protect me.”

“Still.” Remus wrapped an arm around Virgil’s shoulder. “You never should’ve had to deal with that. I’m… I’ll find everyone who did, and threaten them with a knife.”

“You really don’t have to do that,” Virgil said.

“They did it to you.”

“Nobody threatened me with a knife.”

“That doesn’t mean I can’t threaten them.”

Virgil smiled. “Okay, well, thanks anyway. I don’t… I don’t really think any of them deserve to be punished for what they did, but…”

“Of course they do,” Remus said. “They hurt you, Virgil.”

“Yeah, and I’d never want the same to happen to them.” Virgil sighed. “We were young and stupid. They probably didn’t know any better. I just… hope they learn something from it. Hope they grow out of being massive dicks.”

Remus hummed. “Well. I won’t dig any further, then.”

They reached the cafeteria, and split off, Remus going to join D and Virgil going to join Patton and Logan.

~*~

Virgil laid in his bed, holding his phone up in front of his face. It was now or never, really. He had to tell someone about Remus, especially after what went down with his parents a couple nights previously. He was fed up of keeping this a secret from his friends. But it was harder than it looked.

He read over his message one more time:

hey guys, so i know this may come as a shock to you, buuuuut i just so happen to have a boyfriend. and i’ve been meaning to tell you for like ages but apparently can’t bring myself to say it to your faces. so yeah uhhh please don’t hate me thanks bye

Cringing a little but trying his best to ignoring his brain, he closed his eyes, pressed send, and threw his phone to the side. He brought up his hands and covered his face, taking deep breathes. His phone buzzed about fifty times, but he ignored it, scared to see what the others would say. Eventually, the phone started ringing.

He glanced over, seeing Patton’s name pop up on the screen. He groaned. Really wasn’t in the mood to talk. Texting was one thing, holding a conversation was another.

He let the call go to voicemail, then picked up his phone, reading through the messages in the group chat.

Patton: :O

Patton: Virgil!

Patton: that’s awesome!!!

Patton: who is it?

Logan: Oh, that is great news Virgil. If the reason you were afraid to tell us is because of the implications of having a 'boyfriend’ rather than a 'girlfriend’, I’d just like to let you know that I support you regardless of that fact, and I assume Patton does as well. I’m sure you’re aware of Patton’s pansexuality and my own homosexuality, so really no issue. That being said, I’m very happy for you.

Patton: tell me everything!!!!!

Patton: oh yeah Logan’s right of course we accept you v

Patton: Virgil? You there buddy?

Patton: Virgilllllllll

Virgil breathed in, and quickly typed out a response.

Virgil: yeah, uh, thanks guys. i mean i wasn’t afraid about the whole gay thing anyway but i’m glad to know that y'all accept me and shit.

Virgil: anyway. uh.

Virgil: i’m dating remus.

~*~

The next day at school, all six of them sat together for lunch. Patton invited Remus and D over to their own table, which Remus quickly accepted and D more reluctantly accepted after heavy persuasion from Remus. After texting his friends the night before, Virgil had managed to convince them that Remus was good for him. Upon explaining that he was in love and all that, Patton was pretty quick to accept it all. And Logan didn’t really need much convincing - he never really had that much of a problem with Remus in the first place, only knowing what Roman had told him.

But he and Remus were together now, and nothing could stop that. Maybe his mother hadn’t spoken to him since that dinner, but Virgil didn’t care too much about that - it wasn’t as if she spoke much to him before. Same with his father. He had Remy, at least, still supporting him from the side, and Roman now as well he guessed.

Remus and Virgil held hands under the table as they ate. And that was fine. Everything was fine now.

~*~

Virgil collapsed against Remus’ body, closing his eyes. It was after school, and neither particularly wanted to go home, so they sat together on the school field, watching the clouds float by. Remus wrapped an arm around Virgil’s shoulder, pulling him in tight.

“Thank you,” Virgil whispered. “For being here.”

Remus began to stroke Virgil’s hair. “You don’t need to thank me.”

“But this is exactly what I needed. After all the shit that went down in my last school,” Virgil said.

Remus shook his head. “You don’t need a boyfriend because of that. You need a support system, and you have it. I’m just glad your friends don’t hate me anymore.”

Virgil giggled. “Yeah, I guess that’s a plus.”

“I’m glad you came back,” Remus said. “I missed you so much.”

“Well.” Virgil smiled. “I’m never leaving again.”

They kissed, all of their worries fading away into the air around them.

#dukexiety #tw panic attack #tw cursing #tw homophobia #tw threats #spring fling 2020 #submission

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zintranslations · 3 years

Text

Kaleidoscope of Death, Ch. 12

Kaleidoscope of Death by Xi Zixu Link to Chinese / Link to ongoing Taida Translations

Chapter 12: Key to the Door

The chewing noises continued for a long time, as if steadfastly gnawing at every single bone. The crackling bites through bone were viscerally discomforting to hear, but everybody waited it out in silence.

Finally, just as dawnlight began to emanate over the horizon, the noises stopped. At the same time, the woman who had been silently watching the group this whole time from outside the estate wall too disappeared.

Who knew if Lin Qiushi imagined it, but he thought that right before the woman went, he’d heard a faint burp… like something was full after eating.

Day had finally come. Lin Qiushi, who'd spent the night sitting in the yard, felt like he was returning to another lifetime. He asked, "is it over?"

Ruan Baijie answered a short, noncommittal maybe.

They'd cut the trees, prayed at the temple, and filled the well. All that was left was to fetch the coffin from the carpenter.

There was exhaustion on everybody's faces, but underneath the exhaustion was hidden some excitement. This ought to be the last step. Once they get the key and find the door, they could leave this scary world.

Everybody was thinking this. Even their steps seemed lighter.

The village by day had nothing of the eerie evening terror; it seemed just like a typical mountain village, where typical mountain villagers lived. No ghosts, no deaths.

On their way to the carpenter's, they happened to pass by where Wang Xiaoyi died. But Lin Qiushi saw nothing there, only white snow piled on the ground. Nothing that happened last night left behind any traces.

"Was her body eaten?" Lin Qiushi asked.

"Probably," Ruan Baijie said. "That thing's got a pretty big appetite."

They got to the carpenter's, and saw the carpenter languidly smoking in the front door. Lin Qiushi arrived first, and so greeted him: "hello sir, we're here to fetch the coffin."

That carpenter didn't speak—just waved a hand at the house.

Everybody entered the house in succession, and saw a beautiful red coffin sitting in the small room. The coffin was extremely pretty—finely made, with every detail and seam in airtight alignment. It didn't seem like a product made on short notice at all.

Lin Qiushi thought there was something odd about the paint on the coffin. He reached out, and discovered the paint smelled a bit rancid, and felt greasy to the touch.

Ruan Baijie realized far faster than he did, and spoke unflappably, "it's soaked in blood, isn't it?"

"Probably," Xiong Qi said. "What kind of paint looks like that?"

"It doesn't matter, who cares what it's painted with, let's get it back first," Ruan Baijie said. "Come on."

Lin Qiushi had thought this coffin would be heavy, but lifting it, it turned out to be light as a feather; two people quite easily carried it.

Cheng Wen couldn't work at all in his current condition. Of the group, only Lin Qiushi and Xiong Qi were left to do the hard labor. They each took up an end and lifted the coffin, starting off for their living quarters.

"What do we do after this?" Lin Qiushi asked, coffin in hand.

"We'll go back first and see if there's anything inside," Ruan Baijie said. "I'm guessing the key's in the coffin—once we get the key out, everything's smooth-riding from there."

Lin Qiushi mentally hoped that this would be so.

When they got home, Cheng Wen had come awake after being knocked out. He was seated in the living room with a dull expression, not greeting them even as they came in with the coffin. He seemed to have completely lost his mind.

Lin Qiushi saw this and became worried, murmuring, "it's not because I hit him, is it?"

Ruan Baijie, "oof…"

Lin Qiushi, "fuck man, it was just a little smack…"

Ruan Baijie comforted him: "well if he's lost it he's lost it, it's not like anyone's making you take responsibility. Besides, fools aren't scared of ghosts, so didn't you actually do him a favor? You're his benefactor!"

Lin Qiushi, "…" Ruan Baijie why are you such an expert at this.

Due to Cheng Wen's actions yesterday, nobody really wanted to mind him. Xiong Qi and Xiao Ke acted like they didn’t see him.

"Let's open it," Xiong Qi announced as he set the coffin down.

"Okay," Lin Qiushi nodded. He and Xiong Qi each took one side and applied force, lifting the coffin lid.

With a click, the coffin came open. A woodsy humidity came pouring out. Xiao Ke was the most on-edge. As soon as she saw the lid was open, she stuck her head in to see if the thing they wanted was inside the coffin.

"Found it!! The key!!" The next moment, Xiao Ke's joyous calls sounded. She seemed on the verge of happy tears, amped up with emotion. "It's really here, it's really here!"

Lin Qiushi looked, and saw in Xiao Ke's hand an old green copper key. The key's design was quaint, and gave off an antiquated air. The handle of the key was stained with a red liquid. In the past, Lin Qiushi might have thought it was paint or something. But now, he could sense that smear of red was fresh human blood.

"We got the key, we got it!" Xiao Ke held onto that key as her tears fell with vigor. She seemed on the brink of an emotional breakdown as well.

She may act calm day-to-day, but in the end, she still almost couldn't bear the pressure of dying.

"The door should have appeared too, we can start looking for the door." Xiong Qi's tone held fatigue as he continued, "we have to hurry, there's not a lot of us left."

"Where does the door usually appear?" Lin Qiushi didn't have any experience in this area.

"It's often around where we live, and isn't hard to find," Xiong Qi replied. "But I haven't experienced a thirteen-people world either, so… I'm not sure."

"Okay." Lin Qiushi looked at the key in Xiao Ke's hand, and thought at least they found the key.

Ruan Baijie wasn’t overtly emotional. She said, "and the key? Who's in charge of the key? I don't trust her to do it."

On the receiving end of this dubiety, Xiao Ke grew angry. "What do you mean by that? You don't trust me? What, you think we trust you to keep it?"

Ruan Baijie was unruffled. "This doesn't just concern me. If you lost the key, we all die inside this door. Are you sure you want to be in charge of it? Think it through."

Xiao Ke's face went green, then pale. She moved to say something, but then Xiong Qi pressed a hand to to her shoulder. He said, "Qiushi, why don't you take it."

Lin Qiushi started. He didn't think this would fall to him. He was about to refuse when Ruan Baijie openly expressed her agreement, and then got close to whisper in Lin Qiushi's ear, "just take it."

Lin Qiushi frowned. "But it's my first time in a door, I don't have much experience…"

"That's fine," Xiong Qi said. "We all trust you."

"Alright," Lin Qiushi could only agree.

He took the key and examined it closely. If he didn't know better, he'd have thought this was just your regular old copper key.

Xiong Qi said they'd been up all night, and suggested eating something before discussing the door's whereabouts. Lin Qiushi seconded the idea.

And so Xiong Qi and Xiao Ke went to the kitchen to make food. Lin Qiushi and Ruan Baijie remained in the living room to keep an eye on Cheng Wen.

"Why did they give the key to me?" Lin Qiushi still couldn't understand.

"Because the key's not a good thing," Ruan Baijie said. "The people holding it die particularly fast." She smiled, and prodded Lin Qiushi's forehead with the tip of a finger. "Of course, you don't have to worry about that."

Lin Qiushi, "hm?"

Ruan Baijie suddenly lowered her head and caught the rim of Lin Qiushi's ear in a nibble, murmuring, "I found the door."

Lin Qiushi's eyes went wide. "What?"

Ruan Baijie, "shh, keep it down."

Lin Qiushi quickly tamped down his voice, asking hoarsely, "what did you say? You found the door?"

"Yeah." Ruan Baijie was grinning, and she seemed to have developed a great interest in Lin Qiushi's ear. Her fingers glided up and down and up and down the rim, and Lin Qiushi kept feeling the itch. "You wanna know where it is?"

If this were under normal circumstances, all of Lin Qiushi's attention would surely be on the hands that were fondling his ears. But right now, Ruan Baijie's words were too shocking—he couldn't care about anything else. "If you know where it is, why didn't you say… ah??"

There was a sudden sting in his earlobe. Lin Qiushi drew in a sharp breath. "What are you doing?" He reached up and touched, only to find that Ruan Baijie had stabbed his right ear clean through with an earring.

"Nothing." Ruan Baijie kept up an innocent expression. "I just thought you'd look good with this earring, that's all."

Lin Qiushi kept touching the piercing in shock. For a moment he didn't know whether to ask more about the door or the earring. Ruan Baijie didn't give him a chance to react either, and continued, "that door is actually very close to us. We can go back tonight."

"Xiao Ke and Xiong Qi?" Lin Qiushi asked.

"Them?" Ruan Baijie didn't seem to have a very good impression of the two. "Depends on my mood I guess."

Lin Qiushi said, "if we can… let's bring them back with us." Though Xiao Ke's temper was poor, Xiong Qi treated them well at least. Plus, they'd all been through a lot together.

"You," Ruan Baijie said, "you're just too soft-hearted." She smiled. "But I like you this way."

When he heard this, Lin Qiushi felt his face go red for some reason. He said, "stop teasing me already."

Ruan Baijie smiled, but didn't speak.

After Ruan Baijie's interruption, Lin Qiushi completely forgot to ask about the earring; all his thoughts were on the evening ahead. It wasn't until Xiong Qi returned and asked why there was something extra on his ear, that he realized Ruan Baijie had distracted him again.

"Do you think it looks bad?" Ruan Baijie said. "Why are you blowing me off? Do you have another woman?"

Lin Qiushi, "…don't be unreasonable."

Ruan Baijie instantly became champion whiner: "oh my god you called me unreasonable, you're so mean, uwaaa…"

Lin Qiushi, who had never had a girlfriend before, could only look on in despair.

Author's Note:

Ruan Baijie: first mark all the stuff that's yours.

Lin Qiushi, confused: stuff? What stuff?

Ruan Baijie: ♂ stuff you can eat.

[Ch. 11] | [Ch. 13]

#kaleidoscope of death #xi zixu #cnovel #chinese translation #死亡萬花筒

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imtryingthisout · 5 years

Text

Sunglasses and Serenity

[a fic inspired by @nachosforfree @sanderssides-magicalgirlau check them out]

[Warnings: Descriptions of a Panic Attack]

[Pairing: Sleepxiety]

[Word Count: 2283]

——————————————————————

It was not a quiet night. The sky above was dark, the pearly stars hidden behind the neon verbosity of downtown. 24 hour shops and businesses had windows that never dimmed, pinpricks of artificial lightings blurred together creating an abstract mess of blended color.

The moon itself was distorted by the light pollution. It’s natural autumn glow paled in comparison to the vibrancy of the busy streets.

Remy both loved and hated it.

Growing up with summers spent in his family’s old Villa in Italy, secluded in a valley side miles away from the nearest approximation of a town, he had always known how the sky was darker blue than black. He and his cousins loved to climb upon the rooftop and find the stories hidden in the stars. The earth around them was quiet and peaceful, but never silent. The symphony of crickets and other night creature laid in the background of every night spent there. A distant murmuring, Tellus’s lullaby.

Moving to the city had been akin to dunking his head in a bucket of ice water and screamo pop.

Shocking, painful and utterly disorientating. But after the ringingness faded- strangely exhilarating.

Remy has thrown himself headfirst into the city’s night culture. Staying up late partying, trying all the best coffee houses, hanging around the hidden-and-not-so-hidden drag shows,gaining a reputation and a caffeine addiction along the way.

But this was not a night where he would be going out, not when everything he needed was with him.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

Virgil really was a sight to be seen, his skin was pale, like the white-petaled sunflowers that grew by the valley, that seemed to glow in the moonlight. But his starkness fit in perfectly with the gleam of the industrial lights. Heterochromatic eyes, green and purple, stunning as murano glass and pulsing as strobe lights.

Achingly familiar, yet enticingly foreign. Home and longing rolled up in one boy, a boy who has stolen one of his sleep shirts for his own nefarious (adorable) use.

And who probably wanted an answer. Quick Remy, think of some witty remark to be entertaining!

“You ever notice how bright it is sometimes?”

Damn it! Guess we’re being genuine.

Virgil quirked his head to the side, giving Remy a piercing look, before nodding his head slightly . “Yeah,” he said, “Used to overstimulate the crap outta me when I was younger.” Then he paused, debating with himself over continuing- but decided to press forward. “Is that why you always wear those stupid shades?” The last words said in jest.

A surprised laugh escaped his through before he could stop it- Virgil almost reaches out to comfort him, but tensed up, too many bad memories stilled his arm.

“Girl, I’ll have you know these are designer glasses right here” he made a gesture around his face, “Iconic one of a kind Remy Hypnos Original Shades. Don’t go dissing my brand babes”

Virgil just snorted and rolled his eyes, “Uh, I’m pretty sure the designer thing on your face are those-eye bags you have hidden under there.”

“Damn right, even the bags under my eyes are Gucci”

“Oh Gods did you steal that off tumblr you sleep-deprived asshat? Oh don’t give me that look you totally did.” Virgil’s words had started off biting, but slowly devolved into a giggling mess.

(He really was just too cute for this world, Remy thought)

“Oh Ha ha, laugh it up” he snapped, ignoring his blushing cheeks and hot ears.

(Virgil could always tell how flustered Remy was by how red the tips of his ears were. A dusty pink for flirty, A warm rouge signaled embarrassment or arousal. Virgil loved watching the colors bloom on his skin. Memorizing what each shade meant- he could take any cochineal-colored paint swatch and map out Remy’s mood in the margins. It made him so easy to read, and so much fun to mess with.)

Soon the laughing and jeering subsided, and Virgil turned to look at Remy, “But seriously man, Is that why you always have those things on? Photophobia?”

“Can’t it be enough that I look rad as all Hell’s in them?”

“Not with that deflection it can’t” Virgil wasn't giving up it seemed, so Remy let out a deep sigh and gathard his words. “Remember highschool?”

“Kind of hard to forget.” High school was an absolute trainwreck for Virgil, he’d been on and off meds that screwed with his moods- making the already hormone fueled circus that was over a thousand teens trapped in one building, like a pack of sardines- even more emotionally taxing.

But if High School was a disaster for Virgil, it was absolute Hell for Remy.

Remy and his cousins had been homeschooled by their many relatives since they were children. Growing up learning in his family’s study. Rich mahogany floors, dim golden lighting bouncing off the variety of nick-nacks and treasures that line the shelves. Learning to read in his grandfather’s library, his worn and wrinkled hands guiding his young fingers along the words.

His cousin Alessia longed to go to a public school, and pleaded with her mother for ages before she relented. With the condition that she would allow her to go- but only if one of their own went with her.

So Remy, proving himself as her favorite, offered to accompany her.

The blinding smile on Alessia’s face as she squealed thank you , thank you amata cugino, favorito benedetto, was totally worth it. ‘It’s only one year’ he thought, ‘how bad could it be?’

Until he actually got there.

Virgil could think back and recall in semi-perfect clarity the day Remy Hypnos graced the halls of Sandershore High. Roman had become a central hub for gossip , and he’d heard whispers that of new transfer students, which in of itself wouldn't be news. But Hypnos was a household name, owning some of the most ridiculously pretentious Itialian Restaurants in the country. The kind people got engaged at, those levels of nice.

Needless to say when Remy and Alessia strolled into Sandershore’s gate. With perfect olive skin, rich brown hair and clothes nicer than Virgil’s single mom income could ever afford. Virgil fell in hate easily.

(The kind of hate that has him staring at him out of the corner of his eye during Calculus. Thinking about what his eyes looked under those darkened glasses. The kind of hate that wasn’t really hate)

Remy had all the perfect components to rule to school. Pretty, rich, with a startling amount of charisma and people skills for someone so unsocialized.

(Know one knew how he picked up slang so fast in an attempt to hide to slight foreign tilt that laced his words. Never knew how when he first heard someone mock Alessia’s body he punched the guy’s lights out without ever thinking. No one knew how he hadn’t had a night's sleep since school started. How fake he felt, his mannerisms esageraged and twisted to suit the liking of the student body- till he felt like a caricature rather than a person.)

By second quarter Virgil and Remy’s seeming distaste for one another had spread far and wide. They couldn’t be in the same room together without having some sort of verbal showdown. If you asked Virgil he would say that Remy was a self absorbed prick with an ego the size of Mt. Rushmore. If you asked Remy he’d say that that Virgil was a clingy mood-killer who couldn’t see past his own issues.

(Remy didn’t know how empty Virgil felt. How much the crushing weight of his own thoughts threatened to pull him down under. How his dependency on Patton was more sinister than a clingy best-friend. How sometimes his nightmares left him gasping and clawing- begging for them to come back. How his mother never really could fill the emptiness in his house. How Virgil sometimes felt like a puppet going through the motions.)

As the eye bags under their eyes grew darker and heavier, and autumn grew colder and colder. Both boys felt the pressure crushing them under its weight.

(Turns out they both used their arguments as cathartic release from the world around them.)

(Some things never change.)

It was winter when they found each other. Both on the verge of a breakdown-

(It was always too bright. There were no warm wooden floors just chilled title and harsh- fake- lights. The entire building smelled like body odor and cleaning supplies. The teachers were strangers, uncaring distant- he heard what the girls were saying about his cousin. He just felt so-)

(Empty. Hopeless. Patton was gone where did Patton go? He was lonely. And so so pathetic. He needed to get himself under control needed. Don’t be a burden- they all hate him- don’t slip up. They’re going to leave him. Everything felt so distant- drowned out by the static- he was drowning-)

Where the fate’s looking down on the two powder keg boy. A spark away from igniting. Weaving their strings together for a happenstance in counter. Or was it merely coincidence that they went to the same storage closet, to have a moment's respite.

Was it just chance that the door was automatic-locked.

“This is just great” Remy hissed under his breath, he just wanted one moment- just one! Of some cooled peace and solitude. Away from the buzzing gossip and fake friends. Away from the sensory hell outside. A little kernel of bitter anger swelled within the pit of his stomach. One moment, just one.

Then he turned to look at the other person in the room.

Remy had seen lots of sides of Virgil Anxiti, the sarcastic commenter, the horrible-yet oddly insightful- student, the debater .

(He hadn’t seen the devoted son, the caring brother, the friend who would do anything for his loved ones)

But he’d never seen him… blank.

Curled up in the corner of the closet, arms hugging his knees as they were pressed into his chest, was Virgil. Eyes dead and dulled as stone. The muscles in his face were relaxed completely- which unsettled Remy more than crying would have.

Remy wasn’t a Knight in shining armor, or even a comforting person in general- but unqualified as he may be, he couldn’t just let his favorite rival just sit there and do nothing to help.

Alessia needed physical touch when she was upset , their whole family was practically comprised of touchy people. So when one of them was sad, it was a one way ticket to hug time. Somehow Remy didn’t think that would be well received.

“Hey, babes I’m going to touch your arm- that good with you?” He didn’t reply, not that Remy thought he would- but still. So slowly, cautiously, he layed a single hand on Virgil’s arm.

The change was gradual, but noticeable. Hear bloomed under Virgil’s complexion, bringing back warmth into his skin. The glassy oversheen of his eyes subsided, and his entire posture just… relaxed. And so did Remy.

When he had gathered enough of himself, Remy guided Virgil though his breathing exercises. In and out, In and out. Hand never leaving his arm- grounding him to the world.

The door was still locked when Virgil regained his senses. “Guess we have to wait until someone notices we’re missing” Which nearly set Virgil off into another spiral. Until they rembered that technology exists. And so they used Virgil’s phone to text Logan to come and unlock it.

“He’s the only one who won’t make a big deal about us being locked in a closet together”

But there was time between then and there. Time to talk, if only to fill the awkward silence.

To talk about school.

“Girl I have no idea what they put in those ‘school provided lunches’ but they are not food.”

“What rock have you been living under? I once got food poisoning from drinking some of the milk in 6th grade- and that still wasn’t the worst thing I’ve eaten from there.”

About Friends.

“I met Patton when I was six and we’ve been best friends ever since. Dee joined in when we were all about nine and we first saw Lo’ and the twins when they started freshman year”

“I cannot honestly tell you the names of half the people who hang around me”

About Family.

“Hon you could bust down every wall in this building and still wouldn’t have enough room to put all my fam”

“It’s just been my mom, little brother and Patton since I was eight and my dad walked out. Still don’t know who I hate more for it- him or me”

If Logan took just a tad longer route to the closet- he didn’t mention it. He also didn’t mention when Remy started joining their table for lunch. Matching Roman and Remus in all their theatrics- offering to set up a ‘play date’ between some of his younger cousins and Dee’s many siblings.

(If he noticed how much happier the two were after that, how much more healthy Virgil seemed, how more secure in himself Remy acted...well that was just one more thing he didn’t mention.)

Present Day Remy took off his glasses, letting them rest gently in his hand. “My Nonna gave them to me the day before I started school. Said they would come in handy. They did of course.. they just kinda.. became more” he rubbed along the temple’s rubbery tip. Eyes focused in on the way his fingers move up and down the slender frame.

Virgil gently takes the glasses into his hand, and sets them down on the bedside table. He has to stand on his toes to reach Remy’s face, but when he does he tenderly places a hand onto his cheek, gazing into his deep brown eyes- the same shade as his espresso cups and just as rich.

And Remy melts into him. Allows himself to be led away from the window. From the bright lights and traffic noise, and into Virgil’s embrace.

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