#watching this show is truly some of the most fun ive ever had watching TV

[bellamysgriffin]

get to know me meme >> Favorite Friendships [28/?] Lucifer Morningstar & Amenadiel (Lucifer)

You know father works in - If you finish that sentence, I will punch you in your mysterious ways.

[thatiranianphantom]

i wanted to give jt a chance because i love jug and i wanted him to be happy while betty went off to do whatever with archie for awhile. the jt friendship seemed like it had potential and i was optimistic this would be a fun ‘in between’ romance for both jug and tabitha.

then they started dating. ive really never seen anything like it. both very lovable characters, perfect situation, HORRIBLE execution. i’ve never seen two people have less chemistry in my life and this is coming from someone who has sat thru way too many bad tv shows. what is the deal there though fr? why do you think it’s so bad? i still can’t figure it out tbh—

i think i’d rather watch ba and trust me that is really saying something because i freaking HATE them lol

Agreed, anon!

I will openly admit I am biased to BH but that tends to shut me off of ships like BA, but I'd venture to say my dislike of JT had very little to do with ship preferences. I didn't like it, wouldn't have chosen it, but if it was a brief fling it could have had some potential before inevitably going back to their OG ships.

As you said, then they started dating. It truly looks like they're being forced to interact at gunpoint. As I've said I've seen LOTS of ships I hated on TV, but I've never seen two actors more clearly communicate that they cannot even stand to be in the same room as each other. At a certain point, I was less looking for chemistry and more looking for them being somewhat tolerant of each other? It was that bad. The J*bitha effect should be studied. Should I ever take a pop culture course, I will do an analysis on this very phenomenon, and why instead of saying "oh, this is actually the most unpopular pairing CW wide and is dragging the most popular character down, maybe we should end this" they just pressed in harder. Truly incredible. Could only be the work of a mediocre man failing up.

As to why, well...you know what my opinion on this is controversial, as is my wont and my reputation but I'll stick it behind a cut anyway.

First of all, part of it is acting ability. I'm sorry, I have nothing against her as a person, but Erinn Westbrook is not a good actress. She just isn't. In her earlier scenes as more of a side character, they could get away with it because she wasn't on screen much and was kinda propped up by other, better actors? But Cole is the kind of actor that needs a good scene partner. Lili is one of the most talented actors, so they work well as a pairing. But Erinn...she just reads her lines. It is truly to her detriment that they had more scenes with her in later episodes. She and Cole can't pull any genuine responses out of each other, and the chemistry dies there. It's not just Cole, too. In her scenes with Cami, you can see Cami trying to pull some genuine responses out of her and getting nothing. Again, nothing against Erinn as a person. Maybe she'd do better in other roles, who knows. But this was in my mind a contributing factor to why JT was so bad. Also, while I don't think the actors disliked each other and don't think there was any sort of drama on set, I think they did have different personalities and they don't strike me as the type that would hang out ordinarily if given the choice. That's pure spec, but yeah.

I think the other elements just came down to bad writing, bad storylines and whatever the opposite of lightning in a bottle is. A perfect storm for good, but kinda the opposite as a perfect storm for bad.

I don't like BA obviously but at least it appeared they could stand to be in the same room? It was quite a time that season. Part of what made the OGs work is it paired up weaker actors with stronger actors, but they threw all that in the trash in 5 and 6 and paired their weak actors together. And the result was....this.

[meruz]

once again i am answering asks in a big compilation post. included is... gotham, patrick stump, tips about drawing backgrounds, tips about drawing in general, links to my faq, and infinity train

like.... the tv series? No... I’ve drawn dc comics fanart before, though. But it’s been years since I’ve been really into it. I like jumped ship like 10 years ago when the New 52 happened LOL.

AFJHDSLKGH I’m sorry I (probably) won’t do it again??

Actually full disclosure I have a truly cringe amount of p stump drawings/photo studies in my sketchbook right now LOL. He’s just fun to draw... hats, glasses, guitar, a good shape... but I don’t think I’ll rly post those until I can hide them in another big sketchbook pdf.. probably Jan 2022. Stay tuned........ (ominous) 

(ominous preview)

These are all sort of related to backgrounds/painting so I grouped them together even though they’re pretty much entirely separate questions.... ANYWAYS

a) How is it working as a BG artist? Is it hard? What show are you drawing for?

I think you’re the first person to ever ask me about my job! Being a background artist is great. It’s definitely labor intensive but I think that could describe pretty much any art job (If something were rote or easy to automate, you wouldn’t hire an artist to do it) and I hesitate to say whether its harder or easier than any other role in the animation pipeline. Plus, so much of what truly makes a job difficult varies from one production to the next, schedule, working environment, co-workers etc. But I will say that I think while BGs are generally a lot of work on the upfront, I think they’re subject to less scrutiny/revisions than something like character/props/effects design and you don’t have to pitch them to a room like boards. So I guess it’s good if you don’t like to talk to people? LOL

A lot of my previous projects + the show I’ve worked on the longest aren’t public yet so I can’t talk about em (but I assure you if/when the news does break I won’t shut up about it). But I’m currently working on Archer Season 12 LOL. I’m like 90% sure I’m allowed to say that.

b) ~~~THANK YOU!! ~~~

c) What exactly do you like to draw most [in a background]?

@kaitomiury​ Lots of stuff! I really like to draw clutter! Because it’s a great opportunity for environmental storytelling and also you can be kind of messy with it because the sheer mass will supersede any details LOL. 

I like to draw clouds... I like to draw grass but not trees lol,,, I like to draw anything that sells perspective really easily like tiled floors and ceilings, shelves, lamp posts on a street etc.

d) Do you have any tips on how to paint (observational)?

god there’s so much to say. painting is really a whole ass discipline like someone can paint their whole life and still discover new things about it. I guess if you’re really just starting out my best advice is that habit is more important than product. especially with traditional plein air painting, I find that the procedure of going outside and setting up your paints is almost harder than the actual painting. There’s a lot of artists who say “I want to do plein air sometime!!” and then never actually get around to doing it. A lot of people just end up working from google streetview or photos on their computer.

But going outside to paint is a really good challenge because it forces you to make and commit to lighting and composition decisions really quickly. And to work through your mistakes instead of against them via undo button.

My last tip is to check out James Gurney’s youtube channel because hes probably the best and most consistent resource on observational painting out there rn. There’s lots other artists doing the same thing (off the top of my head I know a lot of the Warrior Painters group has people regularly posting plein air stuff and lightbox expo had a Jesse Schmidt lecture abt it last year) but Gurney’s probably the most prolific poster and one of the best at explaining the more technical stuff - his books are great too.

e) Do you have tips for drawing cleanly on heavypaint?

@marigoldfool​ UMM LOL I LIKE ONLY USE THE FILL TOOL so maybe use the fill tool? Fill and rectangle are good for edge control as opposed to the rest of the heavy paint tools which can get sort of muddles. And also I use a stylus so maybe if you’re using your finger, find a stylus that works with your device instead. That’s all I’ve got, frankly I don’t think my drawings are particularly clean lol.

f) Tips on improving backgrounds/scenes making them more dynamic practicing etc?

Ive given some tips about backgrounds/scenes before so I’m not gonna re-tread those but here’s another thing that might be helpful...

I think a good way to approach backgrounds is to think of the specific story or even mood you want to convey with the background first. Thinking “I just need to put something behind this character” is going to lead you to drawing like... a green screen tourist photo backdrop. But if you think “I need this bg to make the characters feel small” or “I need this bg to make the world feel colorful” then it gives you requirements and cues to work off of.

If I know a character needs to feel overwhelmed and small, then I know I need to create environment elements that will cage them in and corner them. If a character needs to feel triumphant/on top of the world then I know I need to let the environment open up around them. etc. If I know my focal point/ where I want to draw attention, I can build the background around that.

Also, backgrounds like figure compositions will have focal points of their own and you can draw attention to it/ the relationship the characters have with the bg element via scale or directionality or color, any number of cues. I think of it almost as a second/third character in a scene.

Not every composition is gonna have something so obvious like this but it helps me to think about these because then the characters feel connected and integrated with the environment.

Some more general art questions

a) Do you have any process/tips to start drawing character/bodies/heads?

I tried to kind of draw something to answer this but honestly this is difficult for me to answer because I don’t think I’m that great at drawing characters LOL. Ok, I think I have two tips.

1) flip your canvas often. A lot about what makes human bodies look correct and believable is symmetry and balance. Even if someone has asymmetrical features, the body will often pull and push in a way to counterbalance it. we often have inherent biases to one side or another like dominant hands dominant eyes etc. you know how right-handed artists will often favor drawing characters facing 45 degrees facing (the artist’s) left? that’s part of it. so viewing your drawing flipped even just to evaluate it helps compensate for that bias and makes you more aware of balance.

2) draw the whole figure often. I feel like a lot of beginner artists (myself included for a long time) defer to just drawing headshots or busts because it’s easier, you dont have to think about posing limbs etc. But drawing a full body allows you to better gauge proportion, perspective, body language, everything that makes a character look believable and grounded.

Like if you (me) have that issue where you draw the head too big and then have to resize it to fit the proportions of the rest of the body, it’s probably because you (I) drew the head first and are treating the body as an afterthought/attachment. Sketching out the whole figure first or even just quick drawing guides for it will help you think of it more holistically. I learned this figure drawing in charcoal at art school LOL.

oh. third mini tip - try to draw people from life often! its the best study. if you can get into a figure drawing/nude drawing class EVEN BETTER and if you have a local college/art space/museum that hosts those for free TREASURE IT AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT, that’s a huge boon that a lot of artists (me again) wish they had. though if youre not so lucky and youre sitting in a park trying to creeper draw people and they keep moving.. don’t let that stop you! that’s good practice because it’s forcing you to work fast to get the important stuff down LOL. its a challenge!

b) I’ve been pretty out of energy and have had no inspiration to draw but I have the desire to. Any advice?

Dude, take a walk or something.... Or a nap? Low energy is going to effect everything else so you gotta hit that problem at its source.

If you’re looking for inspiration though, I’d recommend stuff like watching a movie, reading a book, playing video games etc. Fill up your idea bank with content and then give yourself time/space to gestate it into new concepts. Sometimes looking at other art works but sometimes it can work against you because it’s too close. 

Also something that helps me is remembering that art doesn’t always have to be groundbreaking... like it’s okay to make something shitty and stupid that you don’t post online and only show to your friend. That’s all part of the process imo. If you want to hit a home run you gotta warm up first, right? Sports.

I should probably compile everytime i give tips on stuff like this but that’s getting dangerously close to being a social media artist who makes stupid boiled down art tutorials for clout which is the last thing i want to be... the thing I want to stress is that art is a whole visual language and there are widely agreed upon rules and customs but they exist in large part to be broken. Like there's an infinite number of ways to reach an infinite number of solutions and that’s actually what makes it really cool and personal for both the artist and the viewer. So when you make work you like or you find someone else’s work you like, take a step back and ask yourself what about it speaks for you, what about it works for you, what makes it effective, how to recreate that effect and how to break that effect completely, etc. And have a good time with it or else what’s the point.

for the first 2, I direct you to my FAQ

For the last one, I don’t actually believe I’ve ever addressed artwork as insp for stories/rp but I’ll say here and now yeah go ahead! As long as you’re not making profit or taking credit for my work then I’m normally ok with it. Especially anything thats private and purely recreational, that’s generally 100% green light go. I only ask that if you post it anywhere public that you please credit me.

(and I reserve the right to ask you to take it down if I see it and don’t approve of it’s use but I think that case is pretty rare.)

a) @lemuelzero101 Thank you!!! I haven’t played Life is Strange but actually  that series’ vis dev artist Edouard Caplain is one of my bigger art inspirations lately so that’s a really high compliment lol. And yeah I hope we get 5-8 too...!

b) Thank you for sticking around! I’ve been thinking about Digimon and Infinity Train in tandem lately, actually. They’re a little similar? Enter a dangerous alternate world and have wacky adventures with monsters/inanimate objects that have weird powers... there’s like weird engineers and mechanisms behind the scenes... also frontier literally starts with them getting on a train. Anyways if anyone else followed me for digimon... maybe you’d like Infinity Train? LOL

c) @king-wens-king I’M GLAD MY ART JUST HAS PINOY VIBES LOL I hope you are having a good day too :^)

a, b, c, d) yessss my Watch Infinity Train agenda is working....

e) aw thank you!! i think you should watch infinity train :)

[dripkingpetey]

love-e.pettersson

ive been working on this for a few days and im kinda proud of it! would love some feedback from you or requests for other story lines, i promise i’ll stop doing the friends to lovers storylines haha. i also accidentally deleted this and i was so sacred i couldnt get it back but here it is! i hope you enjoy.

*lowercase intended!*

2.2k words

he loves you, you know that right?

“why did you drag me here, i really don’t like hockey and you know that.” you said as you sighed to your bestfriend lucie while she pulls you down to your seats in rogers arena. 

“i know you don’t.” lucie said with a bright smile on her face. “but, you’re gonna learn to like it.” you look at her in confusion. “so, this is your way of torturing me as if you don’t already torture me enough by bringing me to parties.” you said while sitting down and looking at the players who are starting to get on the ice. “maybe.” lucie said with a wide grin and a mischievous look on her face before puck drop starts.

you’ve never been big on hockey, which is surprising considering you have lived in vancouver your whole life and your family is super big hockey fans. you also aren't the most extroverted person. sure, you’d go out to bars sometimes but mostly just with your close friends.

“what part of this sport do you even like?” you said as the game is going into the third period the canucks are now up 4-1 against the opposing team which you don’t even really know who they are. “well, if I’m being honest some of them are really hot but mostly cause of the sport.” you scoffed at her response. “none of them are hot from where i can see.” lucie looked at you with a shocked look. “oh you’ll get it once you get to know the players more.” you give her a confused look and put your full attention back to the game.

-

canucks ended up winning the game 5-2, lucie was very happy about it and you could tell cause she wanted to go out for a couple drinks and you didn’t want to say no so you agreed to go.

you had been at the bar for about twenty minutes and lucie was already gone which isn’t surprising, she was probably sleeping with some guy right now.

you started to panic a little when a creepy old dude came up to you and started hitting on you. “hey pretty girl, want to come home with me?” he started putting his hand on your arm which was resting on the table. you look around for lucie in panic but she’s no where to be found. 

you then feel a pair of arms sneak around your waist and you get even more freaked out. 

“hey babe, sorry i was gone for so long.” elias says to you with a smile but then proceeds to give the creepy dude the alien death stare which worked. after the dude leaves elias faces you and starts speaking. “sorry i touched you like that, it looked like you were alone and that guy was creeping you out so i thought you could use some help.” he shoots an apologetic smile at you. 

“its okay,” you give him a smile back. “thank you a lot actually, i have no idea where my friend went.” you take another look around the bar before looking back and him. 

“i’m elias by the way.” he smiles at you while holding his hand out for you to shake it. “y/n.” you say before shaking his hand. 

“so elias, what are you doing in this bar on a thursday night?” you gesture for him to sit down next to you. “if i told you, you wouldn’t believe me.” elias lets out a soft laugh while sitting down across from you. “tell me, i wanna know.” elias sighs lightly before he starts speaking again. “i’m with them,” he gestures over to brock, jake, quinn, thatcher and troy. you look over to see them all waving at you and laughing at elias, you laugh softly and wave back at the before turning your attention back to elias. “ah, so i’m guessing you’re on the canucks?”

elias lets out a nervous laugh. “yeah, why don’t we go somewhere else where the boys aren’t up my ass?” you take another sip out of your drink. “i would love to.” he holds out his hand for you and as you guys walk out you can hear the guys chirping, but when you look over to elias you can see him giving the death stare to the boys and it makes you laugh. “you have a scary death stare jeez.” elias leads you to his car. “that’s surprisingly what the fans love me for.” he smiles at you before opening the car 

door for you.

-

“…and that’s all what led me to being on the canucks.” elias said to you while eating a chip out of the chip bowl you had prepared. it had been a couple hours since you guys left the bar and went back to your apartment, you don’t know why but it felt like you and elias had such a strong bond already that you both felt like you can talk for hours and hours and never get tired of each other, he felt the same way too. “jeez, i kinda sound like a douche. i’ve been talking about myself all night, please tell me more about you.” elias said to you while you laughed at his words. 

“it’s all good, i’ve been the one asking questions anyways.” you smiled while responding to him. “no seriously, tell me something about you before i have to go which i really don’t want to by the way.” 

you look at the time and realize its almost twelve am so you proceed to give him a quick response. “well, i’ve lived in vancouver my whole life. and i’m currently going to ubc as a nursing student.” you smiled at his now very amused face. 

“see, that’s something i wouldn’t have known if you didn’t say it,” he laughs a little before he finishes his sentence. “can i get your number? i have practice early tomorrow morning but i’m free for the rest of the day if you want to hang out.” 

you smile at his words and take his phone from him. “of course you can, i’m free tomorrow too just give me a call.” you said while handing his phone back to him after you’ve entered your number. elias gives you a wide grin and you both get up so you could walk him to the door. “goodnight elias.” you look up at him with a smile as he’s standing in the doorway. “goodnight y/n, sweet dreams.” he said and then started to walk down the hallway towards the elevator. “pettersson!” you called out at him and he turns around confused. “text me when you get home.” he gives you the thumbs up and you close your door and head to bed. 

no ones ever shown this much attention to elias before, at least no one he’s truly cared about. 

he smiled to himself on his drive home cause he was excited to text you again.

*contact name changed to “y/n<3”* 

text message to y/n<3:i just got home, thank you for the awesome night :).

-

it’s been a couple weeks since you and elias had met at the bar, you basically hung out with each other anytime you could. 

you were each others best friends at this point, sure the guys would make fun of elias for being in love with you but you couldn’t see it, elias knows he has some feelings for you but he wasn’t sure about it yet. he also didn’t want to risk the amazing friendship you guys had started.

“hey, are you coming to the game tonight?” elias asked over the phone to you.

you let out a sigh before you start speaking. “i’ll try, schools been really hard lately but i should be able to finish studying tonight.” elias could hear the tiredness in you voice and it hurt him to see you like this. “y/n, its okay. you don’t have to try and make it, focus on school its way important. you have many more games of mine that you can watch.” he left out a soft chuckle at the end of his sentence. 

“i’ll still try though, i’ll give you a text if i can make it.” you said to him as you looked at the last large text book you had to read through and look at the giant pile of coffee cups surrounding your desk. 

“okay, love you, i gotta go.” “love you too e, good luck.” you both quickly exchanged goodbyes as you started reading your last text book. you knew there was no way you were going to be able to make it to his game tonight and you felt really bad, you sighed it off as you put your attention back to studying and occasionally looking at the canucks game that was now playing on your tv.

-

the game had ended, canucks lost by one but petey is a sore loser so obviously he was sad, which made him show up at your apartment, he brought pizza from your favourite place downtown.

you were passed out on the couch though, which resulted in elias having to pull out his spare key and sneaking into your apartment.

“elias?” you mumbled out as you felt him sit next to where you were laying on the couch, he motioned for you to lay you head on his lap and you did.

“hey sleepy girl, i brought our favourite pizza.” he said to you with a smile. no matter how bad of a day elias was having, you could always make him smile.

you positioned your head so you’re now facing up at him and you give him a big smile. “thank you, can we snuggle and watch a movie?” elias starts rubbing your cheek softly. “of course we can y/n.”

the night ended with you and elias falling asleep on the couch together while watching a movie he had picked out, you both forgot about all the stress from today and just enjoyed the moment.

-

“he loves you, you know that right?” brock said to you as he came by and sat next to you.

it was the start of summer, tanev decided to host a little barbecue for the whole team before everyone left vancouver and went back to their home towns for the summer.

you were sitting in the backyard watching elias talk to huggy. “what?” you said to brock with confusion. “no he doesn’t.”

brock scoffed at your response. “dude, you can’t be serious. how do you not see it.”

you thought about what brock said for awhile before you gave him a response. “does he talk about me?” you looked at brock while taking a sip of your drink. 

“does he talk about you? of course he fucking does y/n, all the time. especially when you don’t show up to our games, it’s worse when we’re on the road.” 

you smile to yourself at what brock said.

-

you were quite tipsy by the end of the night and elias didn’t want to let you go home alone, so you spent the night at his place.

“elias?” you said in your sweet drunken tone as you both settled into his bed, and you faced your body in his direction. 

“yes?” he said while playing with your hair softly. 

“brock said something to me earlier,” you said while pulling your body close to his.

 “of course he did,” he said with a sigh. “what’d he say this time?” 

“apparently you talk about me a lot?” you said with a soft laugh and your fingers now tracing up and down his back.

“yeah, yeah i do. i talk shit about you all the time.” he says sarcastically knowing where this conversation was going.

“hey!” you said as you playfully punched him. “i was going to do something but i guess not anymore.” you said with a huff.

he lifts your chin up to face him. before you knew it you guys were kissing each other, it was a soft, long and sweet kiss.

elias pulled away with a big grin on his face and you did too. you talked to each other for the rest of the night, you ended up falling asleep before elias did but he did too shortly after.

you woke up to the smell of elias making waffles, you hugged him from behind and he didn’t even notice you were awake until you did that.

“it smells really good,” you said to elias before kissing his cheek and begging for him to hug you. 

he pulls you into his grip and whispers in your ear. “do you wanna go to sweden with me for the summer?”

you look up at him with slight shock. “yeah, why not.” you said to him with a smile and he gets very excited and spins you around, you kiss for awhile until you smell something burning and you pull away.

“shit.” elias mumbles as he deals with the burnt waffles and you’re both laughing your asses off.

[twoidiotwriters1]

Déjà Vu (Or are we losing our minds?) IV -Modern!Shirbert

A/N: Time is going by too fast and I need to finish this before I go back to school h e l p -Danny

Words: 1,033

Series’ Masterlist

Previous Chapter // Next Chapter

Chapter Four: 1st. Déjà Vu

'I miss you more

   than I remember you'

                                 -Ocean Vuong

Jerry arrived the next morning and immediately after Anne arranged everything to have the marathon the next day.

His house was always packed with people during the Holidays because his siblings would bring wives and children, without mentioning his youngers siblings that still lived there (Jerry had a huge family) so they usually did their reunions in Green Gables.

They were currently in their third movie of the day (Anne’s choice: Mamma Mia!) when Jerry noticed they were running out of snacks.

“Do they make you starve back in Uni?” He huffed, looking at the empty bowl between them. “How can you eat so fast?”

“Hey, you’re eating too, is not just me!” She retorted.

“Pause, I’ll go to the kitchen.”

Anne paused the movie and picked up her phone while Jerry disappeared in the kitchen.

“How’s college treating you?” She asked loudly so he could hear her. “Agricultural engineering still feels as exciting as before?”

“More now than ever!” He replied. “I’m halfway there…”

“Good to hear you’re having fun,” Anne grinned. “I admit I had my doubts.”

“Why, cause I was lazy during highschool?” He walked into the room, a refilled bowl on his hands. “I was sluggish, not stupid.”

“You're sure about that?” She tilted her head, laughing at his expression.

“Sure, laugh at the guy with a big family and little resources,” He rolled his eyes. “You’re heartless, not all of us were born to have the luck you’ve got as the only daughter of two old farmers, Madame Cordelia.”

Anne froze in place, something about the nickname sparking a distant feeling.

“Anne?” Jerry eyed her with caution. “All good?”

“Huh,” Anne raised a brow. “I felt the weirdest deja vu…”

“Well, you make fun of my social status all the time, so…”

“Oh stop that,” She laughed, lightly nudging his shoulder. “That’s not true!”

“Yeah, yeah,” He brushed off. “I know it lacks importance in your priviliged bubble…”

Anne laughed again, her eyes going back to the bright screen of her phone.

“Talking about privilege,” She handed the phone to her friend. “I honestly don’t know why people is so interested in celebrities’ lives…”

“Because they're dramatic,” Jerry read quickly through the article. “Why are you reading about Kim Kardashian’s baby?”

“My biggest weakness has always been clickbaits,” She sighed. “But honestly, look at the birthday party they threw for her– that girl won’t have a single moment of privacy in her life!”

“Who cares, she’s rich,” Jerry snorted.

“She’ll care once she grows up and realize she won’t have the freedom to make the mistakes any normal teenager should be allowed to do.”

“She can, if she doesn’t care about the paparazzi, that is,” The boy shrugged. “Should I press play now?”

Anne was still very much invested on their chat, but since he was showing zero effort to continue, she decided it was better to just forget about it. He was right, anyway. That girl would grow up to be famous and rich, her life was practically solved and it hadn’t even properly started!

Still, she couldn’t help but wonder if that girl would ever truly feel happy with her life, if there wouldn’t be a part of her wishing to just be… normal.

“Do you have to put that on while we’re getting ready?” Gilbert whined.

Bash had turned on the tv and immediately changed it to one of those shows focused on Hollywood drama and influencers’ scandals.

“What? It’s entertaining,” The man grinned. “Makes you feel better about having a boring life, doesn’t it?”

“Not like I ever wished to be famous in the first place, but I guess you have a point,” Gilbert stared at the screen as he dried the glasses in front of him.

They were talking about a singer that had recently lost a lot of weight, and the main focus wasn’t her weight lost (which Gilbert considered, as a doctor, the most important part) but the way she looked in that bikini with all that “extra skin” hanging around. It was sickening.

“Honestly, who the hell cares about that?” He huffed. “She looks happy, that’s all people should care about. Why are they so obsessed with knowing every little detail? What good does it bring to them?”

“You’re sounding like a bitter old man,” Bash slapped his arm with a towel. “Stop whining and let me watch my nonsense in peace. Once we open the doors to the public you can change the tv to animal planet or Discovery, if you like. The clients will love it...”

“Some of them do!” Gilbert said defensively.

“Why don’t you go and help Mary in the kitchen, I don’t know, chop some carrots.”

Gilbert winced at this, and he felt a sharp sting on his forehead that caused him to stop for a second.

“What?” Bash walked up to him. “Is that hangover still in your system?”

Gilbert lifted a hand and gently massaged the place that had stung, his right temple.

“Maybe I’m still weary from my terrible sleeping schedule during the semester...”

“You’re sure you’re ready to start working?” Bash examined him more carefully. “It’s okay, Mary and I can handle the place for a few more days on our own–”

“No, I want to help,” He straightened his posture. “I’ll take an aspirin if the pain comes back, maybe it was some sort of spasm.”

“Well, you’re the doctor here,” His brother raised his hands in defeat, he walked back into the kitchen raising his voice so he could hear him. “Just a reminder, I need you fully recovered by the time we throw our fiftieth anniversary party for the Orchard.

“Yeah, yeah, I know… and I’m not a doctor yet!” He argued.

His eyes went back to the screen, watching as they played a video of some random actor doing backflips on the beach.

“Celebrities…” He shook his head.

Gilbert felt quite content for the rest of the day, no headaches making special appearances. The whole show business subject was still bothering him, though. He concluded he was quite lucky to be a simple, small-town med student.

Taglist.

@ninizkd @http-itsrebecca @fuckthisshitimoutyall @sarcasticallywitty15​ @little-boats-on-a-lake​

[shoshie]

hi poosie 💞🌺💘 im going w 3 nights by dominic fike; emotional by okaywil; honest by the neighborhood; devil i know by allie x; sweet disposition by the temper trap; very nice by seventeen; moonlight by dhruv; rain by ben platt; home by phillip phillips; just friends by jordy; timebomb by walk the moon; cross my heart by marianas trench; shatter me by lindsey striling; paris is burning by st vincent; arrival of the birds by the cinematic orchestra; nyc girl by the orion experience; relay by fiona apple; dnd by glaive; sympathy by vampire weekend; december 1963 by frankie valli & the four seasons; and step with me by mika.

if ur thinking ‘h what the fuck’ you & i would b thinking the same thing. i kept adding songs bc im like ‘ah shit what if they hate the one i suggested?’ so i added 2 more. and then yk . i kept adding until my spotify app weirdly refreshed and i took it as a sign from god to stfu and finish the list so !!! that’s what i have !!! i hope ur having a lovely lovely day & that u like at Least one on this list 💓❣️💘🌺💞‼️

i’m gonna tell u what i think of each song BUT i’m putting it under a read more lkdhfbf

1. 3 nights: i realized i’ve actually heard this one BUT not the whole song so it’s ok! i like it it’s v chill v vibey it sounds like streetlights reflecting off a wet road <3 (i am incapable of describing songs with adjectives)

2. emotional: the instrument in the background of this is rly cool idk it’s like. it kinda sounds like hitting spoons on a glass but more musical & almost piano like? i rly like it tho, this song sounds like bright colors & peaches :D

3. honest: this one kinda sounds like one of those ones that makes ur brain go brrrr ‼️ its like. laced w something kfjbjsbfksnv musically it’s not rly my thing but i can appreciate it as a song <3

4. devil i know: i only know one allie x song (can’t stop now) so i wasn’t sure what this would sound like but it’s kinda insane??? the background vocals r so cool i love the humming :0 v sexie nd her voice is so beautiful omg

5. sweet disposition: this feels oddly familiar. i don’t think i’ve heard it tho. it kinda reminds me of say geronimo if u know that one? it sounds like adventure kind of, like it could be used in a travel vlog (complimentary)

6. very nice: aju NICE babababdadadabbabda!!!! i’ve heard this one but i don’t mind listening to it again <3 bop banger etc. good vocals amazing horns in the chorus also if u haven’t seen the choreo i would definitely recommend it it’s so fun

7. moonlight: this is so pretty omg 🥺 i got a mental image of like. sitting on top of a car w someone u love & watching a meteor shower on a clear night. very chill his voice is so lovely

8. rain: ben platt’s voice is gorgeous. this is not the type of music i would have expected from him though??? idk he doesn’t seem like the pop music type of person. i think i prefer some of his other music (cough grow as we go cough) but this is a solid song

9.. home: ive heard this but not since i was like 10 so the nostalgia i got from it,,,, :’) home also sounds like a travel vlog song a bit! i think its the oooohhhhhohohohs in the post chorus (?). this song just reminds me of my childhood i used to hear it all the time on the radio sitting in the backseat <3

10. just friends: I HAVE ALSO HEARD THIS BUT IDK WHERE the beginning played nd i was like wait a minute. OH!! its so nice i love how simple the instrumentals are & jordy has a rly pretty voice as well!! the melody is so addictive as well

halfway done! this is fun<3

11. timebomb: bop?? this could be used in the soundtrack to a romcom tv show directed at teenagers (once again. what are adjectives) it reminds me of when shut up and dance came out nd everyone was obsessed with it.. that was a better time i think

12. cross my heart: headbanging songs > the lyrics to this one r a little basic but thats ok not every song has to have deep profound lyrics that make u feel existential. this is certainly a banger yessir. the ending is cool too i love harmonies

13. shatter me: scawy... the imagery in this is insane "i pirouette in the dark" UM?? this sounds like a movie hello. imagine WAI HISNFVNKDNV THE DROP???? THE VIOLIN?????? i litrally just had to interrupt myself that was not an exaggerated reaction. ANYWAYS i was going to say: the movie scene im imagining is like. it keeps cutting between a girl doing ballet in dark, foggy lighting & a fight scene

14. paris is burning: dark alleyways & vintage movies!!! i enjoyed this more than i expected to? im picturing a girlboss character, maybe a spy? in all black & carrying a purse walking down the street. but she has to be wearing one of those black hats w a veil in the front & a flower on the brim, an ankle-length velvety black coat, & heels that go plonk on the cobblestone

15. arrival of the birds: THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL!!!! OMG! blue skies & green grass at a state park!!! i love it so much actually this went in my healing playlist <333 the way it built up in the best way.. tears

16. nyc girl: ok the guitar in the intro??? this is fuckign music truly one of the most songs ive ever heard. the bass fucks as well i rly like this one :D its so catchy im already bopping nd ik later im gonna b going "im gonna make u ma ha hine"

17. relay: the lyrics are so good???? its not a song that id probably listen to very often just bc its musically not my type of thing BUT i respect it a lot. shes obviously a super talented artist like i looked up the lyrics nd apparently she wrote the repeated line when she was 15??? i love what the song is about!

18. dnd: the production on the vocals is a lil bit strange but i like the song itself if that makes sense. its like mitam where the songs r mixed weirdly but i enjoy the songs anyway? i did think for abt a minute that the title referred to dungeons & dragons tho,, also i just looked up the artist and he is ALSO 15 what the FUCK

19. sympathy: the GUITARRRRR omg omgogmomg!! i rly love the whole intro like the first 30 seconds r just *chefs kiss*. OOH bass solo sexyyyyy i love prominent bass :D the instrumentals r really nice too & it reminds me of like. a heist? like a found family of thieves. this song would play as they were breaking into a museum or smth

20. december 1963: GROOVY! simply a fkin tune idk dude like this IS fun nd makes me think of roadtrips during the summer & also of walking along a dock in a harbor under the moonlight. very much floaty yellow dress vibes this song is just a mood booster

21. step with me: domestic. domesticity. thats it. no but the chorus is rly nice omg i like the melody!!! its so cute too the lyrics r so wholesome.. this sounds like an old couple thats been married for 50 years dancing to the radio in their kitchen <333 life goals

[wigwurq]

WIG REVIEW: HILLBILLY ELEGY

I ACTUALLY WATCHED THIS MOVIE Y’ALL. I promised I would watch some Oscar movies instead of prestige TV shows with bad red wigs so I sorta did that: I watched Oscar bait. Because lordt knows this movie is not winning any Oscars (and if it does, it is truly the asterisk Oscars). THIS YEAR YOU GUYS. There is so much to discuss in this movie. Yes, the wigs too. Also there are lots of spoilers but here’s the thing: THIS MOVIE IS AWFUL AND YOU SHOULD ABSOLUTELY NOT WATCH IT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES AND INSTEAD JUST READ THIS REVIEW. I WATCHED THIS HORROR SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO! YOU ARE WELCOME! 

We begin in Kentucky 1997. AND EVERYTHING IS JUST SO KENTUCKY 1997. All landscapes/cars/people are beige and broken and depressed. We meet JD who is good at biking and saving turtles and spending the summer with his messed up family. HE IS ALSO A TERRIBLE ACTOR AS IS THE OLDER VERSION OF HIM. Important note: I did not read this book and the real JD is an awful Libertarian asshole and nothing about his story, his book, or this movie should be supported. I AM HERE FOR THE WIGS, Y’ALL. MOVING ON!

As promised, Glenn Close as JD’s grandma MAMAW (YES THAT IS HER CHARACTER NAME) looks exactly like Gene Shalit. A friend of mine made this comparison and I cannot unsee it. Amy Adams, straight off (ok maybe several years off?) deglamming for Sharp Objects is just completely frizzed (and kinda strung) out. These wigs are truly abominable as is this film. Anyway, they leave Kentucky and go back to Ohio where they live and where it is somehow more depressing than Kentucky. 

But ok the wig, y’all. Amy Adams hair is is as shitty and unmanageable as her character which might have been a choice? Still, this wig is a tangled, dried out nightmare that cannot be defended (nor can this character’s child abuse and drug problems). Within moments of returning to Ohio, Amy Adams scolds her child for allowing a gifted dog to pee on her wall to wall carpeting and then the cops have to break up a car slap fight (of her slapping her child!) that spills out into a neighbor’s house. SHE MIGHT BE THE WORST MOM IN HISTORY BUT SHE SHOULD DEFINITELY BE ARRESTED FOR WIG CRIMES.

ONTO GLENN CLOSE - SHE LOOKS LIKE GENE SHALIT. THE END. Whoever approved this wig is a huge fan of American film critic Gene Shalit sans mustache. It is the only possible explanation. AND THIS PATCHY MAKEUP. I CANNOT YOU GUYS. I realize that everyone was aiming for deglam Oscars but they went too far. 

ANYWAY. This film flashes between 1997 and 2011, where older JD (again also a terrible actor) is somehow in law school at Yale (OK?) and dating Freida Pinto who this film claims is normal law school age (FUN FACT: she’s 37). Older JD kind of has his life together other than the fact that all the snobs of law school cannot deal with this hillbilly kid who doesn’t know what a salad fork is. And then JD’s sister (played by Haley Bennett aka offbrand Jennifer Lawrence who I actually prefer more) calls and says that MOM IS IN TROUBLE PLEASE RUIN ANY LAW PROSPECTS AND COME HOME EVEN THOUGH MOM IS ABSOLUTELY THE WORST. AND HE DOES YOU GUYS!

Amy Adams’ 2011 wig/makeup/everything is probably the visualization of 2020? I assume this wig was made from leftover parts from Glenn Close’s Gene Shalit wig grafted onto a Halloween fright wig. It could very easily work for a swamp witch costume if you didn’t care about the quality of your swamp witch wig. IT IS THE WORST AS IS SHE. So she was in trouble because she overdosed on heroin...of course she did. After driving all night to get to Ohio, JD gets a call for a second interview at an important law whatever and just HAS TO GET BACK TO NEW HAVEN in the next like 6 hours which still feel like 600. The whole time he’s dealing with Amy Adams and her fright wig, it is a race against time to see if he’ll make it back and secure his future. I guess this is the plot of the movie? I could honestly not tell you. Basically the whole film (if you can call it that?) is strung together vignettes of strung out Amy Adams and yelling Glenn Close that never really add up to anything? BUT THERE IS SO MUCH YELLING ALWAYS. It’s like the opposite of a slow burn - it’s just constant flames and not the cool gay kind.

In any case, we flash back to the ‘90s where Amy Adams’ wig is basically everything Tonya Harding ever hoped and dreamed for (other than that Olympic medal...also Amy Adams would have been a much better casting choice in I, TONYA which had vastly superior wigs BUT I DIGRESS). We see how this drug habit developed - Amy Adams was a nurse and hoarded pills! This leads to the most truly outrageous film sequence I have seen in a long time where high as hell Amy Adams roller skates through the halls of the hospital where she works in her damn nurses scrubs and obviously immediately gets fired. Also her dad dies! Also she tries to kill herself and ends up screaming bloody murder (also covered in blood) in the middle of street and then goes to rehab (rehab doesn’t work). And then gets married to some rando. And then she gets some new job and needs JD to lend her some pee so she can still be a nurse. This all happens in the course of like 10 minutes.  Like I said, this movie is constant insane vignettes - it’s like 100 plots at once and also no plot at all.

And then JD - definitely out of nowhere - develops a gang of terrible drug addicted teenage friends (sure!) who steal/crash cars and make everyone super pissed at JD. ALSO! For reasons unknown or ever explained, Glenn Close ends up in the hospital herself and then has the realization that only she can save JD from his effed up life AND TEARS ALL THE IVS OUT OF HER ARM AND STORMS OUT OF THE HOSPITAL WITH NO CONSEQUENCES OR EXPLANATIONS AS TO WHY SHE WAS THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE! YOU GUYS. 

Also! JD tries to steal a graphing calculator for school from Radio Shack (this is for sure the most 90s sentence I’ve written in a while!) AND GLENN CLOSE IS PISSED! She lays down the law and also buys the graphic calculator herself even though that means they have to live off meals on wheels. BUT! Then he gets the best grade of the entire class on his math quiz and I DEMAND TO KNOW HOW HE KNEW HE HAD THE BEST GRADE IN THE ENTIRE CLASS AS THIS IS NEVER EXPLAINED OR SHOWN AND I NEED ANSWERS! Regardless, the graphing calculator not only saved JD’s grade point average but maybe set him on the path to Yale??? The concept that consumerism is the only thing that will help you as a “hillbilly” is really troubling and bespeaks the issues with this work of non-fiction as a whole. Anyway this movie really want you to know that GRAPHING CALCULATORS SAVE LIVES!!!

There is also a wig battle royale between Amy Adams and Glenn Close wherein there are absolutely no winners (but we, the viewer, definitely loses most!) It is honestly unclear to me how this fight ends (or how any fights end in this movie) because every interaction turns immediately into a fight and when said fight reaches its zenith, the movie cuts away to another vignette! Regardless, the wigs are complete garbage AS IS THIS MOVIE.

Back in 2011, Amy Adams refuses to be admitted to a rehab facility and older JD drives her back to her druggie boyfriend’s house which looks like this and I was like...hold up where have I seen this house before?

The answer is: 2010′s THE FIGHTER ALSO STARRING AMY ADAMS DEGLAMMING HERSELF FOR AN OSCAR SHE DIDN’T WIN! Ok actually in comparison, these houses aren’t that similar other than they are depressing houses with multitier front porches BUT STILL. 

Anyway, JD leaves Amy Adams and her sad swamp witch wig at some random motel where nothing is resolved between them at all and then he drives all night back to New Haven whilst talking to Freida Pinto on the phone (SHE NEEDS TO SLEEP TOO, DUDE! HOW DO YOU THINK SHE IS PLAYING 14 YEARS HER JUNIOR! SLEEP!) And then...he does get to the interview and....the movie ends!! WHAT!TRULY AND FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART: WHAT DID I JUST WATCH AND WAS IT A MOVIE? I STILL DON’T KNOW!

There is an epilogue of pictures of the real people and you guys: MAMAW LOOKED NOTHING LIKE GENE SHALIT. Also why do I even care about these real people???? Yes the real JD made something of himself....he wrote the book on which this movie is based and became a Libertarian asshole and worked with Peter Theil?!?! OK??? I guess the full story is in the epilogue? But this movie absolutely begins and ends nowhere and in between we are treated to a lot of nonsensical yelling and terrible, awful, no good wigs. I IMPLORE YOU: DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE!!!!!! MAYBE WATCH SOME YOUTUBE CLIPS OF GENE SHALIT INSTEAD! 

VERDICT: DOESN’T WURQ

[buzzdixonwriter]

Gorgo

I recently rewatched Gorgo, a 1961 US / UK / Irish kaiju co-production, a film I hadn’t seen in several years (at least five, maybe as many as ten).

The last couple of times I watched it I wasn’t paying close attention, just letting it play in the background as I did other stuff.  

Now, having actually paid attention to it again, I’m delighted it holds up as well as my memory told me it did.

I first encountered Gorgo in 1961 when my father took my younger brother and I to see it as the Fine Arts Theater in Asheville, NC.

The Fine Arts, one of only two movie theaters in Asheville (there may have been a 3rd that I didn’t know about due to the segregation laws of that era) specialized in more outre’ fare and typically got the monster and horror shows, as well as the Hercules movies and =ahem!= adult dramas.

It was a memorable trip for several reasons, not the least of which being my younger brother freaking out at the climax when he turned to grab Dad’s arm only to find Dad had gone to the rest room.

Not a great movie but certainly a good one, Gorgo in retrospect was somewhat groundbreaking and as such more deserving of attention.

The late film historian Bill Warren and I would often discuss old sci-fi movies.  Bill, of course, wrote the seminal reference work on 1950s sci-fi movies, Keep Watching The Skies (highly recommended; go order it right now).

He argued that the fifties sci-fi boom may have started in 1950* but it really ended in 1962 when the last of the films put into production in the 1950s finally came out.

I argued that the line was fuzzier, greyer, with some titles showing a clearly different mindset than others released the same year.

Such is the case with Gorgo.

Basically, 1950s sci-fi is about re-establishing the status quo.  Several end quite explicitly stating this (Earth Vs. The Flying Saucers for one) while others allude to the fact that the menace may return…someday.

But their point always was that by the end of the picture things returned to what passed for normal.

Even Forbidden Planet returns to normal by destroying Altair IV and the truly god-like Krell machines found there, thus preventing anyone else from using them.

But 1960s sci-fi had an entirely different flavor, and that flavor was that by the end of the movie things had changed irrevocably and forever.

There was no going back to the way things were, there was only the new normal -- however different and bizarre that normal might be.

Gorgo is a sixties sci-fi film.

Giant monster movies -- what we now refer to as kaiju due to Japan’s dominance of the genre -- started way back in the silent era (like almost everything else in cinema, Georges Melies got there first) with King Kong as the most prominent example before the atom age.

King Kong’s success on TV in the late 40s spurred Warner Bros. to make The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms and that in turn spurred Toho to make Gojira (US title:  Godzilla, King Of The Monsters) and that inspired a giant monster race on both sides of the Pacific.

England, not wanting to feel left out of the fun, made The Giant Behemoth which is an okay but underwhelming example of the genre, noteworthy only for being stop motion animators Willis O’Brien’s last feature work (he worked on other films after that, but not as an animator).

By the late 1950s Godzilla’s popularity inspired the King brothers (US slot machine distributors) to make their own giant monster movie, and despite their unfamiliarity with the genre they made several smart decisions, the first of which was hiring Eugene Lourie.

Lourie had one of those fabulous “cast your fate to the wind” careers that included working as art director on Jean Renoir films in France.

Like so many others, as the Nazis rose in power, Lourie came to America where he continued doing art direction among other behind the camera film work.  His experience with special effects got him a gig direction The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms and from there he directed a few TV episodes then The Colossus Of New York (not what we’d call a kaiju film today, but definitely one of the oddest sci-fi movies ever made) and The Giant Behemoth (itself essentially a remake of The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms).

When the King brothers approached him to direct Gorgo, he was reluctant, agreeing to make the film only they let him do something no other sci-fi film of the 1950s (or before!) had ever done:  Let the monsters win.

While Lourie later complained he felt the film fell short of what he intended, there’s no denying he was swinging for the outfield fence with this one.

The King brothers’ best idea was that they’d start with a 20-ft tall monster getting captured and brought to London, only for the protagonists to belatedly realize they’ve captured a baby and mama is gonna come looking for him.

It ends with Mama defeating everything humanity had to throw at it and returning to the sea with her child, the surviving humans watching them depart and realizing they can no longer consider themselves the absolute masters of all they survey.

That point gets lost in the feel-good moment of mother rescuing child, but it’s there, and it marks Gorgo as one of the first sci-fi films to embrace the concept that change was inevitable and inescapable.

Gorgo is an expertly crafted film, not perfect by a long shot, but satisfying all the way through.  Lourie’s talent as an art director contributed mightily to the film’s final dramatic effect, and the scenes of London panicking as Mama Gorgo comes looking for her child has an intensity lacking in most kaiju films.

As Bill Warren observed, there’s not a lot of originality here, but that’s okay because Lourie and the King brothers covered a number of details typically left out of movies like this, namely how the %#$@ are you going to get your kaiju back to civilization?

Sharp eyed observers will notice a lot of stock footage in this movie (with footage of the British and US navies being used interchangeably for the same ships and crews), but Lourie also disguised some of it well.  

The cost conscious King brothers filmed a lorry carrying a full size replica of Gorgo (doped up and trussed up with nets) through a deserted Piccadilly Circus by sneaking cameras in and doing a wholly unauthorized shoot early on a Sunday morning (explained away in the film as the police ordering people off the streets to reduce the danger of Gorgo escaping).

In a couple of scenes Lourie superimposes his actors over background plates shot for big budget WWII epics, creating a far larger sense of scale than the movie actually had.

The miniatures and the lighting of same are exceptionally well done and very convincing for the era.  Matte work to combine the Gorgos with humans is pretty seamless.

The Gorgo monster suit itself?  Ehhh…not quite so well done.  Call it adequate, certainly not an embarrassment, but far from the best example of the genre.

The movie certainly ended in a far different place than other kaiju of the era and ended up having a surprisingly long half-life as a comic book spin off by Steve Ditko that followed the adventures of Gorgo and his Mama.

There’s a lot that can be done with this kaiju combination, and it’s a shame that’s going to waste.

If ever there was a movie deserving of an upgraded remake, it’s Gorgo.

  © Buzz Dixon

  * When a particular epoch in pop culture starts / stops is always open to debate.  Since Bill wouldn’t consider short films or serials in Keep Watching The Skies he omits several serials released before 1950 that anticipated the sci-fi boom, in particular The Purple Monster Strikes, the first of Republic’s Martian invasion serials as well as the first cinematic sci-fi excursion to include all of the key elements of 1950s American sci-fi:  Paranoia, alien invasion, body possession.  (For those keeping score at home, the Republic Martian serials are The Purple Monster Strikes, Flying Disc Man From Mars, and Zombies Of The Stratosphere though one can argue King Of The Rocket Men, Retik, The Moon Menace, and Commando Cody, Sky Marshall Of The Universe are crossovers of one kind or another; the first three serials were unintentionally linked when cost conscious Republic decided to recycle costumes and props and rewrote dialog to refer to prior releases in order to cover their budgetary limits.)

[andymull]

WWE Wrestlemania 36 - Preview & Predictions

Heeeeeyyyyy heeeeeeeyyyyyy its Wrestlemania....fighting to survive....

............. Coronavirus, social distancing, injuries, sickness, poor booking, late booking changes, trying to get people to pay $60 on PPV instead of free on the Network, etc etc etc

Brock Lesnar (c) vs Drew McIntyre: WWE Championship Match

I really really feel for Drew here, probably the most out of anyone on the show with the lack of an audience as well as the lack of crowds being able to watch in Scotland in bars at the Hooked On Wrestling events, as they would have been SUPERB for both atmosphere and something they would show constantly on tv after the win.

But no, sadly instead of holding this off till later in the year we still have to proceed and deal with it, gutted.

I feel this match could go 25 minutes long and be one of Brock’s longest matches for awhile, in them asking Brock to make Drew look THE STAR in beating him and beating him well. Plus, they cant have both this AND the Goldberg match go less than 5 minutes.....can they?

Wish they would have gone OTT with this and had it filmed at Lesnar’s ranch and be falls count anywhere, Drew turns up saying nothing will stop him from winning the title so he’s there to claim his prize on Brock’s turf. Then gone made fighting around the farm, oh well there’s other matches on this show that will seemingly be booked to shit.

Drew wins, they need to make sure he then moves into feuds with big names and wins clean each time to really invest it all into Drew and see what happens - MCINTYRE

Goldberg (c) vs Braun Strowman: WWE Universal Championship Match

What is there to be said here, Roman had to drop out because they stupidly had him around sick people with his health past, they decide to replace him with Braun who last month lost his title to Sami Zayn, not to mention they didnt even announce it till Smackdown last night without even mentioning Reigns by name after having HHH announce earlier in the week it would be done in an interesting way.............

This should go short with ideally Braun going over, have Bill take the lead hitting all his offense, big spear then as he goes to lift him for the Jackhammer he cant lift him and Strowman bursts out of it hits his finish and pins him clean while in monster mode.

Braun starts the big push from nowhere while at the same time this leaves it open for Goldberg to potentially come back for a rematch, as he didnt have anytime to prepare for Strowman and his game-plan for the bout. Not that I want Bill always around the title scene when he turns up but if they can get Braun going over him clean twice it really helps out a current full time guy under contract WHAT A CLEVER IDEA THAT WOULD BE!!! lol - STROWMAN

The Undertaker vs AJ Styles

I really have no desire to see Taker in a big singles match at Wrestlemania or any other big show ever again, let alone it being in a match with AJ who could have an awesome match with most others on the card. This match should really have turned into the OC vs Taker/Aleister Black if they HAD to go with these guys together, the rub that would have given Black would have been MASSIVE!! Imagine the innovative entrance they could have come up with for both guys together, truly letting Taker pass his aura across to someone new....just goosebumps thinking of how they would look....but nope.

Instead we end up with a feud built around shoot promos about Takers wife doing AJ’s Styles Clash finisher.....

The worst part is that I see Taker going over, not sure if it was confirmed but it was mentioned he’d have 2 others with him who most likely will turn the tide of the match, dont get your hopes up for Black here instead, im guessing its Kane and Big Show....seriously....please be wrong - UNDERTAKER

John Cena vs The Fiend Bray Wyatt

I really wish if they are going to bring back guys who haven't been on the road full time then PLEASE bring them back with a solid storyline that makes sense and that’s been built up for awhile to make sense.....not this. Truthfully they need to build these matches with the sole purpose of having the other guys who could/should have been the spot to be able to turn around and say, ‘you know what, this makes alot of sense and will be great so I cant hold it against them and moan’. Honestly that’s all it needs.

And secondly they really are lucky there wont be a live audience there for the match, the cheers the Fiend would have received over Cena would have drove them wild in editing after trying to build Bray as the crazy heel.

After dropping the title Bray NEEDS the big win here to keep his aura something they can use well, the more they have him lose the quicker that appeal will drop, and for me with Wyatt that doesn't mean he can take loses as long as he isnt pinned like others can ANY loss hurts someone who can teleport (?!?!) - WYATT

Edge vs Randy Orton: Last Man Standing

Edge is the guy in second place behind Drew for me feeling gutted there wont be an audience around for this, imagine coming back after years away and the thought you could never wrestle again through fear of dying then finding you CAN wrestle again.........only to be risking it all in an empty building.....FUCKS SAKE!

This should be great and given the time to have the emotional side of it pour out strong, we should be getting Edge taking a beating to the point that Beth will come out to support him then have her feelings develop to the point she will want him to stay down and stop the pain. Yeah this will be great - EDGE

Becky Lynch (c) vs Shayna Baszler: Raw Women’s Championship Match

I dont think the result should be in question here, Shayna HAS to win and go on a dominant run with the belt, ideally booking Becky to come back in contention for SummerSlam to rematch.......sadly everything's in the air with the world.

For me, and remember those words, Becky’s reign has been abit of a meh fest in-ring, apart from the Sasha bouts, and the extra focus on her has highlighted her ring work which really isnt the strongest part of her game (Not saying she’s terrible at all, but could she please drop the awkward leg drop from the ropes lol). At the same time alot of that is down to how she’s booked as management seem to go on a few months run of wanting the women to be the main focus, then quickly changing their mind and dropping it back massively. Also, the lack of depth with the women’s division's is a problem with them being split over the shows, same with the men to a degree and is the reason we see feuds get dragged and dragged for months, with less women it means we hardly get anything that feels fresh which needs to be key - BASZLER

Lacey Evans vs Sasha Banks vs Bayley (c) vs Tamina vs Naomi - Smackdown Women’s Championship Fatal 5 Way Match

What a mess this is, I have no desire to see Banks/Bayley again for at least another 5 years...........but id much prefer that to having Tamina suddenly dragged on tv and put into the title picture. I get that the roster like her and she’s probably a really nice person to be around and supports the other women massively when needed, but for a viewer she brings NOTHING and hasn't for YEARS, all she’s doing is taking up a roster spot that someone way more deserving could be in from NXT for example. And yes, ive seen the random accounts on Twitter hoping she wins the title............jeez

Wouldn't have a problem with any of the other women taking the win here, sucks that Dana had to pull out as she has really shown improvements the past few months and deserved her place here easily - BANKS 

Rhea Ripley (c) vs Charlotte: NXT Women’s Championship Match

So we definitely are back to saying ‘women’s’ champion again are we? They dropped it the other month but seem to have quickly gone back to it.

Big match for NXT here getting a Mania slot, I really hope that Charlotte doesn't get the win and belt but her winning opens up more fresh options for the future on the women’s division on the show. As long as Charlotte doesn't keep doing her thing of wearing massive heels in-ring to show how much bigger she is to everyone else, for some random reason it annoys me and doesn't need to even be done.

I feel if Charlotte does win the title they will very quickly move another NXT star over to Raw/Smackdown to replace her or hype a new debut upto the draft which MAY be soon - CHARLOTTE

Kevin Owens vs Seth Rollins

The problem with having so many matches at Wrestlemania is that one like this goes so far under the radar its criminal, both guys are great and can pull out something special for the big show....not sure they get the time they will want even with a two night show. This feud will most likely continue so dont worry about who goes over - ROLLINS

Sami Zayn (c) vs Daniel Bryan: Intercontinental Championship Match

Exactly the same as the match before and even more so, a quality match that probably wont get the most time but will be a really fun ride to be on - ZAYN

Jimmy Uso vs John Morrison vs Kofi Kingston: Smackdown Tag Team Title Ladder Match

Yeah dont ask, they had to remove the Miz as he had Coronavirus symptoms but still wanted to do the ladder stipulation...

Honestly the tag division has to be up there for the most stale division in the company, similar to what I said about the women having the Uso’s and The New Day in a match in any combination is just soooooo over done.

Last month I predicted Morrison and Miz to retain and drop the titles tonight but now I hope they keep them, then drop them to Heavy Machinery as soon as they can - MORRISON

The Street Profits (c) vs Austin Theory & Angel Garza: Raw Tag Team Championship Match

Love the SP’s but this really isnt needed in the slightest, I guess the next few matches will be exactly the same. - STREET PROFITS 

Elias vs The Baron King

Exactly - Elias

Aleister Black vs Bobby Lashley

Please have Black go over quick - BLACK

Otis vs Dolph Ziggler

At last a match that deserves its spot on the card, a long term story that’s been developed well and is building to more with the stakes changed down the road. Easily an Otis win with Mandy ending up in his arms for the big smooch - OTIS

The Kabuki Warriors (c) vs Alexa Bliss & Nikki Cross: WWE Women’s Tag Team Championship Match

Lets throw the titles we’ve forgotten about on the show too!! Feel for all the women that have been around the title scene here since the belts came into existence, so much promise over multiple brands that went NOWHERE! - CROSS/BLISS

Kick Off Matches

Drew Gulak vs Cesaro

I think Gulak sneaks the win out with his TECHNIQUE!!! - GULAK

Natalya vs Liv Morgan

I hope Liv picks up the win and they give her more tv time and focus, Nattie winning doesnt really do much for anyone apart from her - MORGAN 

2 nights, lots of matches, lots of things not needed get ready to be mildly hyped!!!

Enjoy

Bye for now

Andy

[goodticklebrain]

Q&A August with Sam White of Shakespeare in Detroit

The only trouble with living in Michigan is that almost all my Shakespeare friends are elsewhere. I live in a little Shakespeare-less bubble, connected to my fellow Shakespeare geeks only through social media, with no local Shakespeare community to turn. Or at least that was the case until Melinda Hall, a New York based Shakespearean, volunteered to connect me with Sam White, the founder and artistic director of Shakespeare in Detroit, a homegrown Shakespeare company just 40 minutes down the interstate from me.

A few days later I was selling my wares at a local artist festival when I got an e-mail from Sam saying she was coming to see me. Sure enough, a short while later Sam bounded up to my table and introduced herself, and I’ve been a huge fan of her ever since. I’ve since gone to see as many Shakespeare in Detroit productions as I’ve been able to, including their production of the Play On! Twelfth Night translation, and I am so excited to see them transition to a permanent performance space.

I am totally in awe of Sam. She wears so many hats (administrator, producer, director, educator, artist, author, entrepreneur, the list goes on and on) that even just thinking about all the things she’s juggling at at one time makes my brain want to shut down. It’s an overused cliche to call someone your hero, but she truly, genuinely is one of mine.

Take it away, Sam!

1. Who are you? Why Shakespeare?

I am Sam White. Shakespeare because my momma told me so. My mother introduced me to the Bard when I was 8 years old and that was the catalyst of my life's work which has manifested Shakespeare in Detroit. Rap music was not allowed in our home but books and theatre were absolutely loved and shared by mother, and so I inherited my love for Will because of her insistence to have her children think outside of the confines of our neighborhood and family dynamics.

Mya interjects: So, a few months after I first met Sam, she was interviewed on local TV about Shakespeare in Detroit, and talked about how she was introduced to Shakespeare. I was surprised and delighted to see what she had decided to wear for the interview:

2. What moment(s) in Shakespeare always make you laugh?

I laugh at a lot of moments in Shakespeare. I think Henry IV Part 1 is fun and hilarious to read and watch because of the antics between Hal and Falstaff. I love friends who know how to give each other a hard time but also love each other through hard times.

3. What's a favorite Shakespearean performance anecdote?

Hmmm. I am not sure. I think I am always blown away by the fact that I thought the only people that would show up for Shakespeare in Detroit's first performance would be my mother and a couple of stray squirrels at Grand Circus Park. The fact that 500 people showed up to see a performance of Othello always amuses me and makes me really grateful.

4. What's one of the more unusual Shakespearean interpretations you've either seen or would like to see?

I think I find traditional Shakespeare to be unusual. I am a huge proponent for classical work being very classical and period. But I like a few modern surprises in the work I see. For example, Will would've have used modern music in his shows if he were working today and I try to do the same no matter how many corsets or doublets are onstage. I think not being aware of the tastes and accessibility for new audiences is quite unusual.

5. What's one of your favorite Shakespearean "hidden gems"?

Cymbeline is underrated. I love a story about a woman loving who she wants and defying the patriarchy. I feel you, Imogen.

Mya interjects: I knew there was a reason I liked Sam! Yes, Cymbeline is TOTALLY a hidden gem, and Imogen is the gem in that play.

6. What passages from Shakespeare have stayed with you?

“In peace there's nothing so becomes a man as modest stillness and humility; but when the blast of war blows in our ears, then imitate the action of the tiger." That's my mantra, currently. I pick my battles wisely in art and business. Being a black woman, leading a classical arts organization, can be stressful and you receive a lot of, let's say, opinions from the old guard. I've learned what to ignore and what to fight for.

Mya interjects: Let’s not mince words here. The Shakespeare world is white. While many institutions are working hard to change that, it remains very, very white. When I’m consistently one of the only people of any percentage of color in a room, you know you’ve got a problem. I can’t emphasize to you how important it is for me to have discovered Shakespeare in Detroit, a classical arts organization that is not only lead by a woman of color, but whose staff and company are more often than not over half people of color. Keep imitating the action of the tiger, Sam.

7. What Shakespeare plays have changed for you?

I used to love Othello. I still do and I'll probably produce it again soon. But in many ways I get traumatized by it. I often feel like an "only" in my own classical world and the language punches me in the gut nowadays.

8. What Shakespearean character or characters do you identify the most with?

Imogen. I live by my own rules. I create what I want to create. I love who and what I love. And even when folks try to take that away from me, I always find my way back. Things always work out in Divine order. I love that woman! I should also say, I identify with Falstaff a bit as well. I am quite sarcastic and silly and I won't turn down a delicious cocktail.

9. Where can we find out more about you? Are there any projects/events you would like us to check out?

You can find out more about me and my work at shakespeareindetroit.com. We have a lot up our sleeves and that's the best way to stay in touch with us. You can also tweet us at @shakesinthed or me @detroitsamwhite.

(Back to Mya) Sam didn’t even scratch the surface of all the stuff she’s done and is currently doing, so I’m just going to have to trumpet some of her awesomeness here for her.

Sam just directed the Utah Shakespeare Festival’s current production of Twelfth Night, which is running until September 7th.

Last year she was assistant director for the Stratford Festival’s production of The Tempest, and the year before that she was the Nicholson Arts Management Fellow at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival.

So, in case you’ve lost track, she’s worked at three of the biggest Shakespeare theatres in North America in the past three years, while simultaneously running Shakespeare in Detroit. NO BIG DEAL.

She’s also on the advisory board for Statera Arts, a foundation working to address gender disparity in the arts.

You can read more about Sam’s journey with Shakespeare in Detroit in this article from Forbes: Is Shakespeare the Key to Detroit’s Recovery? A interview with her also appears in Shakespeare Magazine, coincidentally right before an interview with me. We Michigan Shakespeare artists stick together!

There are also a lot more interviews with Sam, both video and print, on the Shakespeare in Detroit press page.

If you want to be cool, like me, you can support Shakespeare in Detroit on Patreon.

COMING NEXT WEEK: Two of my nearest and dearest Shakespeare friends and mentors: my Shakespeare Fairy Godfather and my indefatigable pocket dramaturg.

[aleapoffaithfiction]

IV.

I hope that you're the one. If not, you are the prototype - Andre 3000

“What do you think about this lipstick? I’m about to take it off and just stick with a lip gloss. I can never seem to get red lipstick to work on me. Meanwhile, every single shade that exists works on you.” In the midst of listening to Taylor’s commentary about a Dose of Colors lipstick that is absolutely perfect on her, I continued to nod my head along to “Too Deep for The Intro” from J. Cole’s “Friday Night Lights” mixtape. Despite it being released damn near seven years ago, it still feels and sounds better than anything that’s out right about now so it shall always remain in rotation alongside some of my all-time favorite Hip-Hop musical masterpieces. It also sounds damn good as we continue this journey down I-95 S to Pennsylvania. It’s been quite some time since I’ve actually driven a distance longer than twenty minutes and I can admit that I’m actually enjoying this. Traffic is clear, the sun is shining brighter than ever, and the weather hasn’t quite reached the brutally chilly temperatures that are on the way. I’m enjoying the wind smacking me in the face and blowing my hair all over the place. It’s damn near ninety degrees, why wouldn’t I?

“That red lipstick looks fucking good on you. You’re overthinking it. Also, my black ass cannot wear every shade ever. I just figure out ways to make them work on me and usually, lip liner is the trick. I think I have really deep berry liner in that bag. Try it and see if it works for you. If not, take it off and do the gloss.” To avoid having to stop and use the bathroom, I skipped out on grabbing a bite to eat from Wendy’s like Taylor did and now I regret it because my stomach is growling like hell. Given that the car is new, I don’t have any snacks in here but I’ll be damned if I don’t stop and grab some from a Quick Check on the way back.

“You’re talking about this one here?” I quickly glanced over and nodded my head to confirm.

“How was your time with Jesse when he came to Atlanta?”

“Pleasant. I can admit that he enjoyed it. He’s the first guy that I’ve ever had sleep in my apartment there and it was a different vibe but it felt nice. While it’s no sign that I’m ready to cohabitate with anyone just yet, I did like it for that time being.”

“So, you enjoyed finally sexing in your bed? That’s what you’re saying?” Her laughter filled our space as I called her out on such a discrete way of saying things. We both knew that’s exactly what she was alluding to.

“Well, I won’t deny that. It was damn good to be able to go at it multiple times between the night and the next morning, and then get up for a cup of coffee in my own kitchen. Hotel sex is only exciting the first couple of times. After that, it’s one big ass whatever. Do you know what it’s like to fuck in your own bed and then turn on your TV to watch one of your favorite shows while naked as the day you were born next to your fine as man? Heaven.”

“Oh, so you’re finally calling him your man now?” She refuses to label what they have as anything more than their “thing”. I understand the hesitance given the tough space he’s in when it comes to his children and divorce, but overall, he seems to have really taken a liking to her that comes with everything that a relationship is.

“I suppose so. We spoke about it and figured ah, what the hell, why not?”

“That’s nice to hear. I like you two together. He’s a good fit for you in a sense that he’s educated, sophisticated in certain ways, and he’s super mellow. That’s all you.” I always call Taylor my goody two shoes friend with the potty mouth, despite her quickly saying that it’s a label that I should be giving myself. If Jesse isn’t her perfect match, then I don’t know who is. If they don’t work out, she’ll still end up with some super educated business man or book writer of some sort. I feel like she likes them eclectic.

“And what exactly is your type? I’ve been trying to figure the shit out for the longest and it’s like I’m looking for lost treasure on some deserted island. Every single time I try and hook you up with someone, you avoid it like a plague. You’re not a lesbian. It was easy to rule that out because you didn’t want me.” I had to laugh with her, because I know she said that nonsense on purpose. She’s never been arrogant and easily becomes irritable whenever she encounters a person who is. We’ve had a ton of conversations about interviews that we’ve wanted to cut short due to some athlete thinking that he’s above being proper and approachable when speaking with us. If anything, we get it far worse than male reporters do.

“I don’t know what my type is. I feel like we all craft this dreamy guy in our heads with everything that we assume is our type, but ultimately, it’s unrealistic. There’s fantasy and reality, and in reality, there’s a lot that we’re willing to compromise about when it comes to finding love.”

“So why do you avoid hook ups? You won’t know until you get out there and try it out.”

“My sister ruined that for me. She’s the one who hooked me up with my ex and I’ve already opened up to you about how that turned out.” A moment of silence fell between us as she reflected on my past words about Shamel, while I did my best to avoid thinking about the man. It’s not very often that I do think of him because he’s an ink stain in my past that I’m working damn hard to erase.

“Well, that was then and this is now. It’s been four years since him and you’ve yet to really allow yourself to get out there. I’m pretty damn good with the vetting process, so you know I’m not bring anyone your way who I don’t believe is worthy, so what’s up? What you think of Michael B. Jordan? I know his best friend Sterling. I can hook something up. You know Black Panther is about to come out in a couple of months. He’s on fire right now.”

“Just because you have an actor in your bed doesn’t mean that I want one in mine. He’s probably running through every becky in Hollywood.”

“Oh my gosh. Shut up. You don’t know that.”

“You don’t either but it’s likely that he is. I’m not sure if I could ever get involved with a known guy. I’m sure there’s a brutal headache that comes with that. I certainly salute the wives of the players because I’ve heard more than enough stories for me to wonder why some of those women have yet to snap. The perks of being financially taken care of wouldn’t be anywhere near enough for me not to lose it. The disrespect is real.”

The manner in which those men cheat is unbelievable. I’ve heard about scenarios where the wife is in the arena sitting in the WAGs section and the mistress is only a couple of rows up amongst the spectators. Many of them have apartments in different cities that their spouses either do or do not know about. The manner in which these women flock to their hotels is shameful. And All-Star Weekend? Or even the Pro Bowl Weekend? Forget it. These are events literally created for the sake of the players being able to relax and have some fun while having their families be in the midst of it and yet they still have women all over whichever city is hosting it, fucking and sucking on them. I consider myself to be a pretty composed woman, but I don’t know how long I’d be able to keep it together if I were dealing with that. I’d probably end up on an episode of Snapped.

“Well, I can’t argue with you there, but not all of them are like that. I doubt Grant Hill has ever cheated on Tamia. What about Tim Duncan? That man isn’t cheating. Look at Ray Allen. Does he look like a cheater to you?”

“Uh, can you at least talk to me about players who are under thirty-five?”

“I doubt Steph is cheating on Ayesha.”

“The most vanilla couple in the league. Next?”

“You think Isaiah Thomas cheats?”

“Yo, T, shut up. You don’t even know what to say right now. You’re avoiding the big names because you know the deal.” I’d already been giggling, but it worsened as she side eyed me.

“All of them aren’t cheaters. What about the NFL? Look at Russell Wilson.”  

“NBA, NFL, MBL, ATP, WBA, EFL, and everything else. They’re all loosely slinging dick. Spare me.”

“And you think business men aren’t? What about the gym teachers? You think they don’t fuck around too? Doctors, lawyers, judges, scientists, you name it. There are shitty men everywhere and within every professional sector. Shit, the Starbucks barista is probably slipping in numbers while handing over caramel lattes and slinging dick too.”

“You’re right. And that’s exactly why I’m single.”

“Not everyone is the same.”

“I know that.”

“So then give yourself a chance to at least meet someone. What’s the big deal? Live a little.”

“Why are you always assuming that I’m not allowing myself to meet anyone? Have you ever thought about how I’ve yet to encounter a man who has peaked my interests? That’s truly what it is.”

“Seriously? That’s what it is?” 
“Yes.”

“I suppose I can believe that. You’re such a home body, so it’s not like you’re going to meet anyone there. You work around a bunch of old men up there at ESPN, so he won’t be there either.”

“There are some young guys behind the scenes but I’m not into the dating a co-worker thing. It just sounds like a nightmare filled with endless awkwardness.”

“That just means that I have to get you out more. That’s all.”

“You can try.”

And I’m sure she will. I most likely won’t mind it either. For as long as the environment isn’t one that’ll make me uncomfortable, I’m alright with being out on the scene. What I won’t be is “mixxy”. I’ve never been the one to feel compelled to fit into a bunch of circles in order to feel worthy of sitting at the cool table. I will always sit at my own table, whether I’m by myself or not.

“Thank you so much.” As I slipped Taylor her pass, I handed over my keys. Who the hell knew that this stadium has valet parking? Either way, I’m beyond appreciative because I can only imagine the chaos it is to find a parking space within anyone of the parking lots.

“I have two questions.”

“What?” As I slipped the lanyard around my neck, my eyes panned in her direction. Her eyebrows were already raised.

“One, what kind of Benz is that? It’s sexy.”

“It’s a 2018 E-Class Coupe.” I’d gotten it in Diamond White Metallic and didn’t even have to pay the extra fifteen hundred dollars for it. The exterior came with the night package including gloss accents and AMG body styling. The interior? Macchiato beige seats with red accents. I was able to have the heated and cooling ventilated seats, arm rests, and steering wheel that I wanted for the winter and summer time, and as far as everything else? Well it’s nice. I tuned him out because I’m not obsessed with cars enough to care about every single specific detail that doesn’t involve my safety. After going over the specifics, he was able to locate the exact make and design I wanted on Route 22 West in Union, New Jersey. As Beckham promised me, Phil Campbell certainly came through, not only with the car, but also with a damn good deal for it too.

“And who the hell are you fucking on the Eagles? I thought we were coming here with your ESPN credentials.”

“Don’t be silly. I’m not fucking anyone within the sports world and you know this. Also, the Eagles? Please.”  

“Wait. O invited you to a game during that interview, right? Is this the game?” I figured she should have known. I had the jersey he gave me laying across the backseat in the car and it’s in my hand right now. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy going to sporting events, especially when it’s not work related, but I most likely wouldn’t have made the trip out here knowing that I have to work in the morning, if it weren’t for his invitation of thanks.  

“Can you come on?” We would have remained standing there had I not taken off before her.

“No, I want the details of how this all happened. O’s going to be so happy that you’re here. The man is obsessed with you.”

“Why do over exaggerate everything? Is that a Gemini trait or something?”

“But I’m not over exaggerating anything. He really does adore you. He asks about you whenever I see him.”

“You’ve told me that and as I said to you before, I’m flattered that he enjoys my work.”

“Look at you thinking it’s that simple. How cute.”

“Can you cut the shit and come on? Did you have anything to drink before we left the house?”

“No, no drinks yet but I’m going to have a mojito or something while I’m here. That’s for certain.”

I’ve never experienced the perks that comes with being a VIP or an athlete’s special guest but now I understand why everyone enjoys it. It opens the doors to just about every single access point within the stadium, except the locker rooms and with my ESPN credentials, I could easily get into both locker rooms after the game if was here for that purpose. In the midst of making our way upstairs, we were given an escort who explained everything that we’re welcome to, places that we’re entitled to be, and the free merchandise that comes with the passes. I’d almost forgotten about the food and drinks Beckham mentioned as I walked past all of the concession stands. I can never pass up a good ol’ chicken tender and fries’ basket while sitting at a game.

“And here is where you’ll be. I’ll be around to accommodate anything you may need Ms. Nazaire.”

“Oh, thank you. I appreciate that.”

“No problem.”

He opened the door to allow us to step inside what I’m sure is far more than necessary in terms of accommodations and I was certainly right as my eyes swiftly glanced over the posh interior and paused on the single person already enjoying all of it; Ms. Heather Van Norman. In no way, shape, or form did he mentioned that his mother would be around and though I don’t mind whatsoever, it does not negate my nervousness.

If he didn’t tell me, I for sure hope that he informed her because I’d hate to be the person to oddly intrude on her time and privacy as she watches her son play. Oh God. What if she thinks I used the man for all of this? It’s one thing for him to give me a thank you that I don’t even believe I deserve and it’s another for the thanks to come with perks that I’m sure no other analyst can say they’ve been given. Sure, there are some kind hearted athletes who will slip you an invitation to an event of theirs or embrace you with a hug and good conversation upon seeing you out of respect and appreciation but this? Nah, I don’t think so. This is about on the same caliber of myself being invited to the man’s house. I should have declined like I originally intended to.

“Heather! Oh my gosh. I didn’t know you’d be here.” Taylor stepped around my suddenly reluctant frame and immediately went into the beautiful woman’s awaiting arms.

“I’ve been in town for two weeks now. I head back tomorrow, but I figured I’d come out here and watch my boy play before I do. It’s so good to see you Taylor. I didn’t know you were coming with Sarai.”

“I’m crashing at her house while in town for some work with the Bleacher Report. So, she dragged me out. I’m glad she did though.”

“You knew I was coming?” I’d finally spoken up. I had to ask.

“Of course. Odell told me. How are you Sarai?” Once again, she opened her arms and she awaited my presence. How could I turn her down? The embrace was not only warm and welcoming, but it felt very maternal. It’s been quite some time since I embraced my own mother, so I appreciated it along with the kiss she planted on my cheek. I’ve always heard about how pleasant she is and she has lived up to that since our first meeting in Bristol.

“I’m well. Thank you for having me.”

“Oh no, thank you for coming. O will be thrilled. He was very adamant about me making sure you’re well taken care of while here, so I intend to do that so that you can give him a good report when you leave.” Both she and Taylor chuckled and yet Taylors came with widened eyes and eventually a smirk that I wish I never saw. With Heather standing alongside her, I was the only one who could see her teasing facial expressions and if I weren’t respectful enough to watch my mouth in front of Beckham’s mother, I’d tell her about herself.

“Are more people coming?”

“His friends are here, but they’re out there in the midst of the madness. That’s where they like to be. I was down there for a bit while he was running a couple of drills but I came back up here.”

“So, it’s just us in here?” He could have gotten us regular ol’ seats. Seriously Beckham?

“Yes. Just us. There will be food and drinks. They also have lounges where you can go and have drinks and hang out if you’re interested. You don’t have to be in here with this old gal if you don’t want.”

“Old gal? Don’t be silly! You look incredible.” I nodded in agreement with Taylor. I hope to look just as incredible as she does when I’m somewhere around her age.

“You do. I’d rather stick around so that I can get tips on how to remain so great looking.”

“My tip is to remain as stress free as possible and to keep doing whatever the both of you are doing, because you’re both absolutely stunning women. I always say that the both of you are a breath of fresh air amongst the men within your field. I also give a ton of credit to Jemele Hill, Pam Oliver, Lisa Salters, Cari Champion, Josina Anderson, Erin Andrews, Sage Steele, and Kim Jones. She’s such a good one when it comes to O. I’m sorry if I’m a bit biased to the reporters who actually take the time out to understand him.”

“No, no. I get it. And you’ve named so many women that I look up to.” I’ve gotten the opportunity to meet every single woman she listed and I chose to just sit and soak up all of the advice and gems they were willing to offer so that I can transition into my sportscaster role in a knowledgeable space. It’s even more incredible that the majority of the women that she named are black faces. While there aren’t many of us, the ones that are around cannot be missed or mistaken.

“And now you have so many who look up to you, like my Jazzy. It’s full circle.”

“Aww, thank you. Is she here too?”

“No. She’s home. She’ll be up here soon enough and she’d love to meet you. She and Taylor are already homegirls, according to her.” 
“That is my homegirl. I love her.” I wouldn’t be able to escape this one and with the expression on Taylor’s face as she grabs a bottle of water off of the table, I better not even try.

“Of course. We’ll set something up.” Yet again, I’ve done something to further my connection to the Beckham Family. It’s all starting to feel like one long running coincidence at this point.

I threw the somewhat of a diet that I’m following right out of the window as I sat with a plate filled with the chicken tenders and fries that I wanted so badly. I’d been putting it off to the side, since I was so tapped into the game, but it could and probably will be finished before I leave out of here. Beckham didn’t lie when he spoke about the intensity of the games versus the Eagles and despite being inside of the suite, I could feel the energy of the nearly seventy thousand spectators in attendance. Though I came into this with a plan not to cheer for any team, I couldn’t help but to become a temporary Giants fan as I threw the Beckham jersey over my head and joined in with both Heather and Taylor’s frustration as the Giants went scoreless in first, second, and third quarters.

“Ugh! Come on.” I had to move the plate out of the way. We were already two minutes into the fourth quarter and nothing was on the board. That just about ruined my appetite.

“Come on Eli. Throw something good!”

“We have to score something. Come on Beckham!” All three of us were damn near pressed into the stainless glass windows and aching in anticipation. It was as if the man heard my plea, because within seconds after it, he received a ten-yard catch from Eli Manning and went zipping down the field to give the Giants their first touchdown of the game. The piercing scream that spilled out of my mouth damn near caused me to frighten myself as I jumped up and down with excitement. Now the shit talking could begin. Sure, were still down by seven and we nowhere near any Eagles fans, but still. Shit talking is always fun.

“Alright, we have to tie this. We can do it. That just gave us a bit of momentum.” My loud claps filled the room as I paced back and forth in hopes of a miracle from my chosen team for today.

“We got this. We got this.” Heather’s hands met my shoulders and she gave them an encouraging squeeze as her own excitement ripped through her body. It has to be beyond awesome to have such an explosive player as her kid, but then there’s the pressure. Gosh, I’d be the worst sports mom ever and would need a lifetime supply of aspirin.

“You’re going to be hoarse by the time we get out of here.” Taylor laughed while shaking her head at my antics. A shrug was my response.

“So what! We have to win this thing!”

In less than two minutes later, Eli threw a four-yard pass to Beckham that resulted in yet another touchdown for him. We’d officially tied the game and I just about lost my mind. I could literally feel his energy within the suite as he celebrated his touchdown in the showboating manner that he always does and yet I loved it. In the midst of watching them online, I could understand why people tossed the arrogant title on him and hated his celebration dances. Now, while here, looking at it live, it’s the best shit ever. How can you not celebrate after making the game tying touchdown? Shit, I’m dancing with him.

“Let’s go!”

Eli’s seventy-seven-yard pass to Sterling Shepard to give us a touchdown to take the lead made our suite sound like it was filled with more than just three people as we screamed in thrill. The Eagles tied the game once more and a field goal put us in the lead once again with just a little over two and a half minutes left on the clock. What we all thought would be the game to finally give the Giants a win after being down two games was short lived by two field goals that resulted in the Eagles again tying the game and then finally beating us by three.

I don’t think I’ve felt disappointment like this in quite a while. While the other two women within the room with me took the loss with good hearts and applauded the team for a solid effort and comeback within the fourth quarter, I sat in silence because I felt like we were robbed. We were supposed to win that game. How could we lose after those three touchdowns and that field goal attempt? That’s bullshit.

“It’s alright Sarai. They’ll get a win in when they play in Tampa Bay next week. They gained some momentum today. They just have to apply that same energy every single time.” It sounds good, but I would have liked to win today!

“Yeah, I know.”

“You sound like a kid who lost their little league game. You didn’t even play and you’re sulking more than they are.”

“Because, we could have gotten that one T.” And we should have.

“I know. It was looking good in the fourth. I thought we had it too, but it is what it is. They’ll get them next time. They play the Eagles again this season and we’ll come back to see them have their revenge.” I’m holding Taylor to that. We’re coming back for that game.

“I guess that’s fair.”

“I’m sad that it’s over. I really enjoyed your company ladies. I’m so glad that you came out.” I can admit that I enjoyed myself too. Usually, I’d be curled up on my couch right now, eating dinner, and mentally preparing myself for the week head and instead, I was able to let loose and go crazy over some football. I’d pick that every single time, if I could.

“Thank you for having us. I had a blast. I’m pissed we lost, but I still enjoyed it so much.” It was my turn to draw her in for a hug and I did it with no hesitation.

“And was everything to your liking? My son’s going to want a report.”

“Of course, of course.” We all laughed at how much she emphasized the reality that he absolutely will ask her about how things went today. Well, he has nothing to worry about. He fulfilled his thank you beyond what I could have ever imagined and I’m appreciative of it. He never owed me anything in the first place and after this, he’s more than repaid me. If anything, I owe him.

“I’m sure we’ll be doing this again at some point.”

“I think so too.” Taylor swiftly agreed with her before I could get a word in. Gosh, she better sleep with one eye open when she goes to bed tonight, because I’m going to whack the shit out of her with a pillow as soon as I get an opportunity to do so. She’s been on a roll tonight with the slickness and I’ve let it slide because it’s been jokes in-between she and I, more so coming from her alone, but now she’s involved someone else in it and she’s putting false hopes on the table that I have no capability of fulfilling. This is supposed to be and is going to be a one-time thing.

“Sounds good. Give me another hug before you two get out of here. Also, drive back to Jersey safe. Taylor, text me when you two get there.”

After those hugs, we ended up spending an addition fifteen minutes talking and I’d even exchanged numbers with her so that we could set up that meeting between Jazzy and myself. It would be my thank you to Beckham for the fun filled day here in Philly.

Despite our rush down to my car, the traffic to get out of the stadium wasn’t as beatable as we wished it would have been. We were bumper to bumper for over a half an hour and that continued as we hit the highway to head back to Edgewater.

Phenomenal game, Beckham. Nine receptions, seventy-nine yards, and two touchdowns. You and Shepard balled out. You won in my book. Keep that energy going. I know it feels a bit discouraging to not have gotten a win yet, but you’re only three games in. There’s plenty of time to turn things around and I know that you will. Rest up. And thank you for the invitation. I enjoyed myself.

I know it’s against the law to text and drive, but I’m barely driving. I’m not sure if it’s just general traffic or if there’s some sort of accident further ahead but if God is on my side, he’ll work with my impatience and get things moving along. This is what I didn’t miss about driving.

Thank you, Sarai. I wish I could’ve gotten a chance to see you after the game. I saw the picture you took with momma. You look better than me in that jersey.

I really hate that I blushed. I had to roll my eyes at myself more so than him. Get it the fuck together Sarai.

I doubt that. I’m sure the world will disagree with you as well.

And every single woman that lusts over him and his every move, daily. It’s no secret that he is probably the most sought-after bachelor in the NFL. He’s one of the youngest guys playing and the cherry on top is his lack of children. I’ve heard the chatter, simply because it’s quite hard not to. Even in my field, where he is technically forbidden fruit, he’s still a hot commodity off the field. I’d like to think that aspect of things is why he has so much media attention around him even when he isn’t playing. No one gives a damn about what Eli Manning and Abby McGrew Manning have going on within their home, but the hot, young, and black receiver? They’d much rather stalk him.

My boy Shep has this little bowling alley in the apartment building that he lives in. We’re all going to meet up over there for a bit. You should come through so that I can sign that jersey for you. I texted Taylor about it too.

Immediately, my eyes shifted in Taylor’s direction and her own playfully rolled in the direction of the window as she dropped her phone into her lap.

“Really, Taylor?”

“What? What’s the big deal? It’s a little kickback. O’s cool people. I think you know that at this point.”

“You do realize that you’re taking things a bit too far now?”

“How the hell am I taking things too far when the man has your number, invited you to a football game of his, and is now texting you about coming to hang out? You allowed him into your space, not me. I didn’t push him in your direction.”

“I’m starting to think that you probably told him that I’d be at the Bleacher Report party.”

“And so what if I did? He wanted to meet you, so I told him that you’d be around. I didn’t know what would come of it and I still don’t see what the big deal is now.”

“You know exactly what the big deal is.”

“No, I don’t. Why don’t you tell me?” Despite my tone, she annoyingly batted her eyes while whistling in anticipation for what I would say. I shouldn’t have to say it and I’m not going to, because she already knows. If anyone knows about the boundaries that we shouldn’t be crossing in any capacity, it’s her.

“You can be such an ass.”

“Or you’re arguing with me because deep down, you want to go. We can just stop by.”

“You do realize that I have to be at work first thing tomorrow morning, right?”

“I just said that we can just stop by.”

The internal battle intensified more than I expected it to as I pondered about what would come of this. It’s been quite some time since I’ve surrounded myself with a bunch of testosterones beyond ESPN and I have never in all of the years that I’ve been a sports journalist, deliberately hung out amongst athletes of any sport or circle. Though I’ve been to a ton of events where I’ve mingled among them for the sake of networking and people polite, there have never been instances of privacy or secrecy.

I’ve never been to their homes, their family events outside of charitable ones, or any other possible shindig. I’ve declined many invitations, whether they were extended to me out of flirtation or respect, and Beckham’s should be of no difference and yet here I am contemplating what could possibly be the big deal about it if I do stop by. Taylor’s advice about me needing to live my life always plays in the back of my mind whenever I’m reluctant to extend myself beyond my profession, but tonight shouldn’t be a factor within that. Nothing about him or involving him should be a fucking factor.

“Thirty minutes tops.”

“Fine.” And just like that, I’m taking the plunge. Whatever happens, happens. Actually no. Thirty minutes and all of this is all said and done.

Send me the address.

It took us an extended hour and fifteen minutes longer than the typical driving time to get us back to my place from Philly. Taylor forced me to wait in the car as she changed her footwear from sandals to Vans and minutes later, we were taking the fifteen-minute drive to Weehawken. I didn’t know Sterling lived so close to me. I remember Chanel mentioning something about him living in Hudson County when we were working on a Nike ad campaign together, but the exact city slipped my mind.

“I’m glad that ya’ll could make it out. We just bowling over some wings and non-alcoholic drinks. That game kind of did us all in, so the turn up is super tamed and lame tonight.” I suppose because we’re at his residence, it made sense for Sterling to step outside to greet us and properly direct where I’d be able to park my car.

“Sounds like Sarai’s kind of party.” And with that, I elbowed her in her side.

“Fuck you.”

“Sarai, you’re the turn down queen? I would have never thought. You stay checking the shit out of your co-hosts on that show. Both you and Chad are funny as fuck.” His laughter held an innocence that I’ve always gotten from him ever since he was a Goner at the University of Oklahoma. Sterling’s one of those guys who you can’t help but to cheer for. He has such a genuine spirit and he comes from a great family.

“I’m not the turn down queen. I’m just more on the chill side.”

“I can respect it.” Music blared from the miniature bowling alley as we walked through the lobby and eventually stepped inside, but the scene didn’t contain too many. As I expected, there was Chanel Iman, Sterling’s girlfriend, and two guys that I’m not quite familiar with. No Odell in sight. I guess Sterling was being truthful about the tamed vibe.

“Aw shit. If it isn’t the Most Wanted by Every Ballplaying Nigga number one and number two.” His loudness made his statement funnier than it should have been. It’s not the first time either one us have heard it and it won’t be the last.

“Ignore Ben’s stupid ass. Oh, and O’s coming. He ran upstairs to the crib.”

His introduction was just as amusing as his opening statement and he didn’t let up as he continued to speak about the never-ending lust for the “young thangs” that he described both Taylor and I to be. He introduced his friend as Kav. Chanel, I’ve known for a while now. I dabbling in modeling for the sake of branding, so we’ve crossed paths enough to be acquaintances.

“I left those kicks upstairs on the dining room table for you. Both colorways.” My heart thrashed against my chest cavity as the baritone of his sometimes-raspy voice resounded through my bones. It’s so low and soft, and yet powerful enough to command the attention of everyone in the room as their eyes shifted in his direction. His casual entrance felt like something grandeur as he halted in his steps and locked eyes with me. Staring became our form of communication, as his deep and intoxicating eyes expressed things to me that I don’t want or need to know. Though I couldn’t break the glaring, it was him who decided to do so by washing his eyes over my entire frame. I could have turned into a pillar of dust idly lying in the middle of the floor as Taylor touched my arm and suddenly pulled her hand in response to the endless number of goosebumps trickling along my skin and the lump in my throat? If I suffocate, then fine. At least this moment will cease.

“Sarai Nazaire.” My name flowed from his rosy lips so slickly and yet with a disbelief that I couldn’t quite understand. He invited me here.

“And Taylor Rooks.” Ben immediately interjected. I’m going to assume he’s to Beckham what T is to me.

“I see my homie. What’s up T?”

“Odell! My favorite guy!” Their embrace was first and I was glad of it. It allowed me some time to gain maybe ten percent of the composure I once had when I was sitting in front of my house and debating with myself on whether I should call it a night or not. I haven’t had much of it since then.

“Your favorite guy? O ain’t shit.”

“Never took you to be the jealous type brother.” He and Sterling shared a laugh in the midst of he and T’s embrace and then it was my turn. He hesitated just as much as I did.

“I’m so glad that you made it here. I thought you were going to stand me up.” Despite the extension of my arms, it was his large palms that drew me closer by my waist, and he eventually tightened his body around my own and slightly rocked the both of us from side to side.

“How are you?” I was going to stand him up. I should have stood him up.

“I’m well. You?” 
“Good. Can’t complain.”

“I’m mad that I didn’t see ya’ll at the game. I started to come and sit up there with Heather, but I was with Tweedledee and Tweedledum the whole time. I didn’t even know ya’ll were there.” Chanel’s side eye to Beckham earned my laughter.

“I didn’t know you were there either, but I should have known. You’re always supporting the boo.” As she affectionately wrapped her arms around Sterling’s waist, she nodded to confirm my observation. They’re adorable together. The last guy she dated was Jordan Clarkson and despite their cuteness, I believe Sterling is the one. There’s something about their chemistry that just connects and has bonded into the strongest mold.

“Aye, we have drinks over here. Strawberry Lemonade. And there’s some hot wings, barbecue wings, and some odd flavored mango wing shits that Kav ordered. Ya’ll can help yourselves to it. We started two games. O’s whooping my ass because I’m letting him.”

“Nah, I’m whooping your ass because it’s what I do.”

“Anyway, as I said, I’m letting bleach boy win. We gon’ restart, so that we all can play. Since we’re in an odd number, we won’t do teams. We can all put twenty in for shits and giggles, and because I’m cheap as hell. Winner takes all.”

Though I hadn’t announced it, bowling has always been a side activity of mine. Both of my parents were apart of some neighborhood bowling club or whatever the hell it was back in the day and I’d always be there with them learning their techniques and observing all of the older couples and their decades old love for one another. Even with the warnings to “stay out of grown folks’ business” I was still able to be in the midst of the fun per my dad’s permission because he took me just about everywhere with him. Though slightly rusty, it didn’t stop me from winning a hundred and forty dollars tonight.

“Aye, Sarai and Taylor, let me ask ya’ll some real shit. No judgement. Ya’ll ever dated athletes?” It was Ben’s millionth question of the night and much like all of them, his curiosity always peaked in personal areas.

“One, a few years ago. I haven’t dated another since.” Kendall Marshall. I’m not surprised that she didn’t say his name, though.

“Sarai?”

“None, ever.”

“No one?”

“No.” The rumors are out there, but they’re all false. I’ve just never felt compelled to clear anything up because if I start, I’ll never be able to stop doing so.

“But wouldn’t that be an issue though?” Kav asked the anticipated follow up question.

“I mean, it all depends on the circumstances. If you’re an NFL reporter and you’re dating an NBA player, there isn’t much they can do to you in terms of firing you, though you may be frowned at about it. That’s not a conflict of interest. Some networks are stricter than others when it comes to that. Turner isn’t fond of it. The Bleacher Report doesn’t give a shit about who I involve myself with because they’re a bit more progressive, I suppose.” She half-assed the response which then caused it all to be left up to me to finish up.

“My show covers all major sporting news, mostly within the United States. Our most important coverage is always going to be the NBA and NFL, but it doesn’t mean that we don’t touch base on baseball, tennis, and a few of the others every now and then. So, as far as myself, it’s a conflict of interest no matter which way you look at it.” Yet again, our eyes locked with one another but he didn’t flinch in the manner that I urged for him to. I aimed to set up disappointment and he didn’t bite the bait. If anything, my words flowed into one of his caramel toned ears and right out of the other.

“I think when the heart wants what it wants, none of that other shit matters. It’ll figure itself out. Right?” His tongue lightly ran over his lips in unison with his nonchalant shrug and Chanel bid him a high-five in appreciation for his words. 
“For someone so passionate about the sport that you play, I can’t ever imagine you doing anything to jeopardize your ability to be able to play it.” How or why would he ever? Love is great, but is having it in risky manners ever worth it? That always comes with sacrifice and adjustments that are life altering. Is it really love when you have to let go of so many different aspects of who you are to have it?

“Football is a major part of my life, but it isn’t my life. I’m starting to learn that a lot nowadays. I find myself praying for more time for myself, my family, and my life beyond that field. I’m not going to be playing forever. An empty ass house means that I don’t have much to show for what I worked so hard for. How does all of this even matter if I’m not sharing it? As far as the jeopardize part, I’m willing to fight for and alongside anyone who is going to do the same for me.”

“Why have people in your life that you have to fight for?”

“Because love, no matter which way it comes, isn’t always easy. It’s not supposed to be. I’m going to always fight for those that I love. You’ve never had anyone fight for you?”

He rendered me to speechlessness and a silence discomfort that I may not have masked with my facial expression. I had no answer to give or rather, I didn’t have one that I wanted to give him.

“Alright Sojourner Truth and Martin Luther King, there’s no need to be all deep about this shit. Damn. Ya’ll making me think and it’s too late for all of that.” Ben lightened the moment as Odell stood to his feet and he stepped away from the booth, but halted…for me.

“Sarai. I want to see your new ride before ya’ll go.” How the hell did he know that I was getting ready to throw in the towel and tell Taylor to come on?

“Go and I’ll meet you outside. I’m going to use the bathroom.”

Or she’s creating yet another awkward moment for me.

What was once ninety degree whether nicely calmed down to the high seventies and the cool breeze coming from the Hudson River soothed me as we walked along the exterior of the building. Beckham chose to leave his hands dug into the pockets of his windbreaker style shorts while my eyes panned down and remained focused on his crimson red Nike sneakers.

“Is that it?” I followed his finger and immediately nodded.

“Whew! That thang is on point. And you got the white too? Ain’t nothing like a clean pearly white car. I have to see the guts.” The guts?

It only took one press of a button to unlock the doors and just like that, he was sitting inside on the passenger side taking in the interior like a kid in a candy store. It’s pretty nice but I wasn’t anywhere near as impressed as he is.

“You doing it with this one. Nice pick Sarai.” I scoffed at his modesty. As if he isn’t the one who chose it.

“Shouldn’t you be complimenting yourself?”

“Not really. I gave you the advice, but I never picked out the specifics. This is better than I envisioned it, honestly. I figured you’d go for black or blue.” Black was the original choice until I saw the white one. It stood amongst all of the choices of its kind.

“It is pretty cool, huh?” As I slipped in on the driver’s side, I gave the car a start so that he’d be able to see the beauty of the interior illuminating in its nighttime mode.

“For sure. You look good in here. This fits you well.” For just that moment, he stared at the side of my head while I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel in an anxiousness for Taylor’s presence. Like the most dominant magnet, his aura drew my glare to him.

I’d always believed that perfection doesn’t exist, especially within men, and grandma Lèilin would immediately beg to differ. She informed me that there comes a time when a woman does lay her eyes on a man who is perfect for her in every single sense, flaws and all. He’ll be the most beautiful man she’s laid her eyes on. Grandpa Lesly was that for her.

I’ve never been so at a loss for words until being within this man’s presence. The symmetry of his face is sculpted to an unfair perfection and it impeccably compliments his narrow eyes. There’s no wild bushiness to his eyebrows; they’re tamed and follow the arches of his smiles and frowns. His nose is not too small and yet not too vast. It’s literally made to fit his face. His lips. Dear God. Small and yet supple. A perfect hue of rose. The full beard oozes confident masculinity and yet the bright platinum blonde mane of curls on top of head has this playful and unique sexiness that’s solely for him alone, no matter how many people try to replicate it. He’s beyond handsome; beautiful is more like it. I can see what makes them all go crazy, whether female or male. I understand why all eyes are on him. I’m drowning in the intrigue and yet seeking a lifeboat to get me the hell out of here.

“Eh. It’s a car.” That’s really all it is.

“I’m ready.” The sound of her dragging out the last word startled the both of us as she approached the passenger side and she playfully shooed the man out of my passenger seat and slipped inside after a brief hug with him.

“We enjoyed it O. Thanks for the invite.”

“It ain’t nothing. I’m just glad ya’ll came.”

“We’ll do it again for sure. I’ll catch up with you soon.” Their fists bumped and she closed the door behind herself. I figured that would have been the goodbye necessary for me to drive off into the night and yet his boldness continued as he stepped around to the driver’s side of the car and opened my door.

“Step out for a minute.”

“Why?”

“Just for one minute.” He awaited my hand to latch onto his own and it did within a couple of seconds. As soon as I was secured on my feet, he immediately drew me in for a tight hug and a soft kiss to the forehead.

“Thank you so much Sarai.”

“You’re welcome, Beckham.” The deep chuckle that rattled from his frame weakened mine.

“Am I always going to be Beckham? If you like the last name, I’m willing to share it.” And with that I drew away from him and lightheartedly mushed him out of the way. We’re not going there. Not now or ever, though I’m well aware that it’s a joke.

“Turn around. I have to sign your jersey.”

I did as he asked and stood still as he moved his marker from number to number along the back of it.

“What does it say?”  

“Read it when you get home.”

“Okay.”

“Goodnight Sarai Nazaire.”

“What is it with you and the saying my whole name thing?”

“It’s sexy, very sexy.”

“Flirting comes natural to you, I see.”

“I’m not flirting. Flirting is filled with jokes. I’ve yet to joke with you.”

I slipped inside of the car to avoid the urge to look into his eyes once more. Closing the door create the barrier that I so badly needed. Yet again, my heart was thrashing against my chest and if I don’t get the hell away from him, I don’t think I’ll be good to drive us anywhere.

“Hit me when ya’ll get in so I’ll know you made it safe. No speeding Sarai.”

“We’ll text you.” Taylor answered for me as she messed with the radio to find a station of her liking. As I pulled away from the parking space, he stood there and watched. In my rearview window, I could see a final wave from him before he turned to walk away.

I couldn’t be bothered with my nightly shower as I began stripping out of everything covering my body. I’ll need it in the morning when I’m dragging out of bed to prepare for work. It’ll also work with the strong ass cup of coffee I’m certainly going to need.

“Goodnight!”

“Night!” Though I closed the door minutes ago, I’m sure she heard me.

As I tossed everything into the dirty clothing basket near my closet, I decided to take a peek at the signature on the back of the jersey. With the way he moved the marker, there had to be more than just his first and last name back there.

“Sarai Nazaire. There aren’t enough words to describe how thankful I am for you. Thank you for everything that you are and all that you do. You Are The Prototype.” And along the bottom was his notorious signature.

Rather than tossing it inside of the basket, I put it on a hanger and hung it up inside of the closet. My next move was to grab my phone.

Goodnight Beckham.

That’s enough for him to know that we made it in safely.

Goodnight Sarai Nazaire.

Sleep is the last thing that I’ll be able to do tonight. Whether my eyes are open or closed, all that I can see is him.  

[nottodaylogic]

like, reblog, follow

Summary: It’s the social media AU you never wanted but got anyway! Starring: Roman, a writer gay! Virgil, an artist gay! Logan, a aesthetic/edit/headcanon/not-really-sure gay! Patton, a crafts gay! Continuity? Who’s she? Never heard of her. All we have is fluffy gays and bad attempts at everything else.

Word count: 19784 (THE LONGEST THING IVE EVER WRITTEN WOW)

Warnings: Gratuitous musical references, especially Be More Chill and Falsettos because they're my favorites and I'm trash, basic knowledge of them might be required? Also spoilers for Parks and Rec if anyone’s watching that right now, that happened apparently. Unrealistic depictions of online interactions/dating, probably. Panicking. Disappearing from the Internet. And, of course, lots of gay.

Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15745062 (Ao3 deleted my formatting, words can’t do describe my annoyance, I’ll fix it later)

Ships: Prinxiety, Logicality, platonic lamp (every form, not gonna even try)

A/N: Well, we made it. I am happy (and relieved) to finally post this. This is my Big Bang ( @ts-storytime ) fic! It’s a weird format because my dream of making a Social Media AU has finally been realized. This is rEALLY LONG because I am a dumb child and thought, “it won’t be that bad!” It is. It is that bad.

My artist is @hghrules , they are fantastic, I’ll post a link to their part later! 

...later has become now, I’m screaming, https://hghrules.tumblr.com/post/177446248126/what-up-heres-my-ts-storytime-art-for check it outttt!

Virgil’s photos were taken by my amazing friend, she has an Instagram at @tofushoes_photography, if you like the photos please consider following her! 

And without further ado, let’s start this thing!

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Disneynbroadwaynprinces.tumblr.com

Princey!

Greetings, fair citizens! Thou mayest address me as Princey! I draw occasionally, as well as writing quite often. I am the gayest of the gay, forget this not!

———————

Logicallylo.tumblr.com

Logic.

Salutations. I am Logic, Lo if we are friends. He/him pronouns please, asexual homoromantic.

———————

Anxiousanxietyart.tumblr.com

99% anxiety, 1% mess

call me anxiety, or anx if you want. i draw. i’m a socially awkward mess. that’s all.

———————

Pattonhead.tumblr.com

Your happy pappy Pat!

Hiya, kiddos! I’m Pat, and I love puns, cute animals, and crafts! He/him, feeling ace pantastic as pawssible!!  Feel free to chat! :D

———————

Starbound-big-bang posted: After months of writers writing, artists preparing, and general anticipating, the writer/artist matchups have been made! Writers, show the artists everything you have so they can start. Artists, you can make as much or as little art as you like, but make sure it’s something you’d appreciate for 6 months of work.

Have fun!

1. @Veerleft — @perisureimace 2. @boundinboundinnrollin — @vectnxaer 3. @awkwardkitty — @veertrash 4. @disneynbroadwaynprinces — @anxiousanxietyart 5. @veertrash71 — @ilovegayrehearsal 6. @pastapastadad — @booksnstuff 7. @mewmewmew — @read-write-water 8. @mostlyhamilton — @drawing-n-art 9. @owlsareawesome — @becky-becca 10. @thefandomlife — @casey

Read more

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Anonymous asked: Hey, Princey! Oh my gosh I love your art??? And your fics are fantastic aahh???? Especially your collabs with LogicallyLo? How did you two meet?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces answered: Thank you most kindly, Anon! Thou hast earned shiny Internet Golden Points! ‘Tis a long, thrilling tale, full of magic and danger! @logicallylo and I met when I rescued him from a vicious—

L: We’re brothers. That is the extent of the tale. Princey is exaggerating. As always. He is quite incorrigible.

P: You take the drama out of everything, dear Lo.

L: As the elder brother, it is my job.

P:  ANYWAYS, I introduced him to Starbound after listening to the musical soundtrack, and we read the books together. We became quite obsessed.

L: I also beta his fics. That is what brothers are for: so that they don’t make foolish spelling mistakes.

P: I do not?? Rude????

L: Sure. Lie to the Internet.

P: Everyone makes mistakes with these things!

L: I don’t.

P: October 24th, 20XX?

L: We agreed to never speak of this again. Thank you for asking, Anon.

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Disneynbroadwaynprinces posted: Greetings, Bounders! I humbly beg forgiveness for lack of content lately. I can, however, promise that that will change, very soon. No exact date yet, but keep your eyes peeled!

Veerleft replied: Dark Princey show us the Veer angst

Perisureimace replied: Ooh, can’t wait!

Veertrash71 replied: You literally posted a doodle yesterday. It hasn’t been that long…

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Anonymous asked: Hey there Princey! I really love your art, but I was wondering: what the heckety heck is Starbound? Thanks!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces answered: Greetings, Nonny! Welcome to the Starbound fandom! We have red space gelatin and canon gays. Allow me to explain:

Starbound is a book-series-turned-musical-turned-almost-TV-show about space exploration and aliens with no concept of the gender binary. The cast of characters includes the protagonist, Peri, a part-human ace child who can kick some serious butt. There is also Vect, the bi/pan/is it bi if it’s in space/who even knows anymore disaster mechanic with some blaster talent. He used to date Peri, but now they’re the best platonic buds around. There’s also Xaer (Xay-eer), a pan cinnamon roll genderqueer fashion extraordinaire who has never even heard of the gender binary, zey are amazing and I love zem.

Veer is the ship Vect/Xaer. Need I say more? They are heavily coded gay and canonically queer, so it’s only a matter of time, I say.

To say any more would spoil stuff, so go read the books and listen to the musical and avoid the movie like the Black Plague and wait for Starbound: Awaken and the TV show while writing 50 tons of Veer fanfic like the rest of us!

———————

Pattonhead: Heya, Logic! I saw your concept art for a Murder Mystery Detectives Veer AU, and I was intrigued! I’m not that good at drawin’, but maybe I could make something? Or maybe just talk about it?

Logicallylo: Salutations, Pat. Please, call me Lo. Feel free to do whatever you like with my AUs, so long as you tag me in the finished product.

Pattonhead: Aw, thanks, Lo!

Logicallylo: You are very welcome. It is my pleasure.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Stop pondering the meaning of life and come eat dinner, nerd!

Logicallylo: On my way, prep.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You know, you could have just typed omw?

Logicallylo: MYOB.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: No one says that anymore

Logicallylo: MYOB.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Greetings, Anxiety! It has come to my attention that we have been paired up for the Starbound Big Bang!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I am Princey, it is a pleasure to meet you.

Anxiousanxietyart: umm… hi, Princey?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Hello! Do you happen to have a Google Docs? I can share what I have with you so you can begin to do your drawing thing!

Anxiousanxietyart: um, yeah.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Splendid! Here’s the link: XXXXXXXXX

Anxiousanxietyart: thanks.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Here’s to working with you, Anxiety!

———————

Anxiousanxietyart: patton why did i let you convince me to do this big bang thing, i had to meet a new person, why

Pattonhead: Now, kiddo, it’s just one new person. That’s progress! I’m really proud of you!

Anxiousanxietyart: thanks, i guess?

Pattonhead: You have a lot of love to give, my child.

Anxiousanxietyart: ...okaaay then?

Pattonhead: You know I love you, you majestic and amazing sea otter giraffe, you.

Anxiousanxietyart: sea otter giraffe? that’s a new one

Pattonhead: ssh child sleep now

Anxiousanxietyart: ...it’s 2 pm

Pattonhead: s s h c h i l d s l e e p n o w :)

Anxiousanxietyart: ...okay then

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces posted: P: So, recently, my good ol’ bro @logicallylo was an idiot, and he might have thrown his computer at a wall. It’s broken now. So he’ll be using mine for now. Because of this inconvenience, I have decided to take this opportunity to make it into a bonding excercise!

L: Bonding excercise?

P: Yes, just go with it Supernerd!

L: Essentially, you may now ask me and Princey questions, and we will answer them to the best of our ability.

P: So let’s do this thing!

———————

Anonymous asked: Are you two twins! Who’s older?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces answered: L: I am the elder, and yes, we are twins.

P: But I’m taller!

L: Tallness has nothing to do with it. I’m older, I have always been older, I will always be older.

P: Sure, shortie.

———————

Veerleft asked: What’s your favorite Starbound book?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces answered: P: TAKE OFF! It’s really fantastic, and very gay.

L: For once, I must agree with my brother. Yes, Take Off is the best, objectively.

———————

Perisureimace asked: Any pets?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces answered: P: Verily!

L: ...verily?

P: Just roll with it. I have plans to procure a hamster, and will post a poll for names soon!

L: No pets here.

———————

Anonymous asked: Lo, what’s your favorite book? Princey, what’s your favorite musical?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces answered: P: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA HOW CAN I CHOOSE?! uMMMMMMMMM I’M REALLY INTO BE MORE CHILL RIGHT NOW, AND SINCE I’M IN A PRODUCTION OF FALSETTOS, THAT TOO?? YOU ARE TRULY EVIL ANON

L: I could not possibly pick one favorite book. There are simply too many to pick. That being said, I would be morally obligated to say that I am quite fond of detective novels, such as Sherlock Holmes and The Murder of Roger Ackwood.

P: ...that all could have been said in about 6 times less words…

L: Perhaps. However, unlike you, I prefer to use a great many words, as it shows my infinitesimal knowledge.

P: mhmm. Sure.

L: What does that mean?

P: oh, nothing! Nothing at all!

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces posted: L: I have now procured a computer. You need not send any more questions, but thank you for the previous ones.

P: This was very fun! I thank you all most kindly, young Padawans!

———————

Anxiousanxietyart posted a photo: this is just a sketch i made. i was listening to silhouette by owl city and angst happened. i’m sorry in advance.

Veertrash71 replied: Wow I didn’t need my heart???

Veerleft replied: Why would you do this Anxietyyyyyyyy

———————

Pattonhead: Virge? You doin’ ok, kiddo?

Anxiousanxietyart: yeah, i’m fine, why?

Pattonhead: Just checkin’ in. Love you <3

Anxiousanxietyart: love you too <3

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Yo, Anx!

Anxiousanxietyart: um, what’s happening?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: So, my dude, if we are to work together for the Big Bang, we should know some more things about each other.

Anxiousanxietyart: ...okaaayyy?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Soooooooooo:

Anxiousanxietyart: sooooooooo?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Twentyyyy questionsssss!

Anxiousanxietyart: what.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You know, twenty questions!

Anxiousanxietyart: how does guessing objects help to get to know a person?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: What?

Anxiousanxietyart: what?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: No, I ask you a question about yourself, you answer, you ask me a question, and so on!

Anxiousanxietyart: ...i think we’re thinking of two different games here.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: No kidding, Sir Glooms-a-lot

Anxiousanxietyart: what?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: It seemed to fit.

Anxiousanxietyart: well, you know me well enough if it seemed to fit. guess we don’t need to do the question thing.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: No, we’re doing this!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I’ll start us off:

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: What’s your favorite color?

Anxiousanxietyart: …

Anxiousanxietyart: really?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Yes really!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Mine is red, specifically stage curtain red, although gold is suitably regal as well. What is your answer?

Anxiousanxietyart: um

Anxiousanxietyart: i like purple.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Ah, purple! The color of kings!

Anxiousanxietyart: also black.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Let me guess, like your soul?

Anxiousanxietyart: no

Anxiousanxietyart: like the void where my soul would reside, if i were to still have one.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: …

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Ooookaayyy. I asked for it.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Now you ask!

Anxiousanxietyart: are you bored or something?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: MASSIVELY.

Anxiousanxietyart: sorry, gotta go help out pat with something.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Oh, okay. See you later

Anxiousanxietyart: bye

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Can we do something? I’m really bored aahhh

Logicallylo: Could you bother someone else?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Anxiety left, and everyone else is offline, and my theatre friends are sick or busy

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Help me Logi-Wan Kenobi

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You’re my only hope

Logicallylo: Very well. Would you like to meet me in the kitchen?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: YES! 

———————

Anxiousanxietyart: [image]

Anxiousanxietyart: did i mess it all up?

Pattonhead: Oh, kiddo.

Pattonhead: You didn’t mess anything up! You’re a sweet summer child and you could never mess anything up!

Anxiousanxietyart: i feel like i made him hate me. how could he not hate me after that?

Anxiousanxietyart:

why am i such a mess, patton?

Pattonhead: You just need to talk to him! Explain yourself! 

Pattonhead: And you’re not a mess! You’re Virgil Brava. You are an amazing, kind, loving person, and if you say one more self-deprecating thing I will physically fight you <3

Anxiousanxietyart: thanks, pat. love you.

Pattonhead: Love you too <33

———————

Anxiousanxietyart: hey

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Greetings!

Anxiousanxietyart: sorry

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: What for?

Anxiousanxietyart: it’s just

Anxiousanxietyart: i feel like we got off on the wrong foot, and i definitely should have phrased needing to go help feed the pets better, and i’ve been thinking about this slightly obsessively all day, and i

Anxiousanxietyart: i just felt like i owed you an apology or something.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Hey, no biggie! Lo and I figured out how NOT to make cookies and instead make a huge mess of flour fight residue, so no harm done!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: (except to the kitchen. rip kitchen.)

Anxiousanxietyart: haha, thanks.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: No problem.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I have to go now, but maybe we can finish 20 questions later?

Anxiousanxietyart: i’d love to.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces posted: @logicallylo Trade-off poetry, go!

Logicallylo replied: I

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: Saw

Logicallylo replied: It

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: In

Logicallylo replied: The

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: Window

Logicallylo replied: And

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: I

Logicallylo replied: Couldn’t

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: Dismiss

Anxiousanxietyart replied: ...you guys are literally quoting bmc.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: ;)

Logicallylo replied: Wow.

Anxiousanxietyart replied: princey. you are the biggest nerd I’ve ever known, and i know lo.

Logicallylo replied: …he has a point.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: Betrayal!! How could you do this?! I trusted you!!!

Anxiousanxietyart replied: do you know me.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces:   You know BMC?!

Anxiousanxietyart: duh.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces:   I can’t get any of my friends into it for some reason!

Anxiousanxietyart: maybe because “listen to this musical! it’s about a guy who takes a computer pill to boost his self-esteem but it takes over the school” is hard to promote?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: …a fair point to you.

Anxiousanxietyart: also, you have friends?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces:   RUDE. Who else would put on Falsettos with me in a few weeks?

Anxiousanxietyart: who are you? jason?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Ha ha, no. Too tall to be 13.

Anxiousanxietyart: maybe marvin, then. you’re self-obsessed enough, if nothing else.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Marvin is a wonderfully well-developed character, shush.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: And I’m Whizzer!

Anxiousanxietyart: the one with the worst name.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Mendel. Weisenbachfeld.

Anxiousanxietyart: true.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Who would you play?

Anxiousanxietyart: trina. i’m always breaking down, it’d be easy.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I knew you were a (Michael) Well Of Despair, but no need for theatrics! Don’t say such things!

Anxiousanxietyart: we’re discussing musicals. with you, most dramatic of dramatic. theatrics are a given.

Anxiousanxietyart: also, too late :)))

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Nooooo! I’m forbidding you from saying bad things about yourself!

Anxiousanxietyart: you sound like pat.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Darn right I do! From now on, every time you say something bad about yourself, you have to come up with at least 3 good things.

Anxiousanxietyart: and if i don’t…?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I’ll tell Pat and he’ll fight you. Heck, I’ll fight you!

Anxiousanxietyart: you couldn’t beat me in a fistfight. you’re too small.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces! Square up cutie, I have a black belt in karate and I’m not afraid to use it!

Anxiousanxietyart: hmm. really.

———————

Anxiousanxietyart: does princey have a black belt in karate?

Logicallylo: Well, brown belt black stripe, so technically no. Why do you ask?

Anxiousanxietyart: thanks, specs

Logicallylo: You are welcome, Eyeshadow^3

Anxiousanxietyart: …umm you should… probably work on your nicknames

———————

Anxiousanxietyart: you liar.

Anxiousanxietyart: [image]

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: BETRAYAL! The karate studio closed the week before I was to get my black belt!

Anxiousanxietyart: details, details…

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: After I go fight Lo, wHO WAS LUCKY ENOUGH TO GET HIS BELT BEFORE IT CLOSED, you’re next.

Anxiousanxietyart: i’m terrified. you’re so fierce.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Heck yeah I am!

Anxiousanxietyart: i was being sarcastic.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: rude.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces posted a photo: [photo] BEHOLD THE AS-OF-YET-UNNAMED HEIR TO THE KINGDOM, PRINCE HAMSTER! Help vote on his name! Here are the top cantidades as of right now: - Evan Hamsen - Alexander Hamsterton - Jeremy Heerester - Mendel Weisenbachham - Why do so many musical characters have last names with the first letter H? Opinions?

Veertrash71 replied: ALEXANDER HAMSTERTON

Logicallylo replied: You are not naming your hamster any of those.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: Watch me.

Pattonhead replied: All these names are really ham-tastic!

Logicallylo replied: ...stop.

Pattonhead replied: :) no

Anxiousanxietyart replied: these are all simultaneously terrible and amazing. how.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: You all still have to VOTE…

Logicallylo replied: All of them are terrible.

Pattonhead replied: All of them are wonderful!

Anxiousanxietyart replied: nah.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: You are all the worst. I guess Alexander Hamsterton it is.

Veertrash71 replied: :D

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Thank you, Pat, for your help with finding hamster puns!

Pattonhead: My purr-leasure! :3

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Do you happen to have any more?

Pattonhead: Fur sure! Coming right ruff! :D

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I’m sure Lo would love for you to send him puns… :)

Pattonhead: Ooh that’s a pawsitively wonderful idea!

———————

Pattonhead: Fur reals, we need to talk more!

Logicallylo: …did you mean to send this to me?

Pattonhead: Yep, purr-etty sure you are the one :)

Logicallylo: I don’t like puns… why?

Pattonhead: Are you suuuure? That seems like a ruff decision to make.

Logicallylo: …

Logicallylo: Very sure.

Pattonhead: I coulda sworn you liked them… guess I was wrong…

Logicallylo: I am the wrong target for this. You are barking up the wrong tree.

Pattonhead: …

Logicallylo: Oh no.

Pattonhead: you mADE A PUN!!!!!!!!!!

Logicallylo: Unintentionally! This means nothing!

Pattonhead: I will get you to make more puns if it’s the last thing I do!

Logicallylo: We shall see.

———————

Anxiousanxietyart: patton.

Pattonhead: Yes?

Anxiousanxietyart: you’re flirting.

Pattonhead: No?? I’m not???

Anxiousanxietyart: yes you were.

Pattonhead: What?

Anxiousanxietyart: never did I ever think I would see the day

Anxiousanxietyart: that Patton Spider

Anxiousanxietyart: my best friend and roommate

Anxiousanxietyart: flirts with someone

Anxiousanxietyart: i’m shocked.

Pattonhead: Who would I have possibly flirted with?

Anxiousanxietyart: with lo, of course.

Pattonhead: ...oh.

Pattonhead: Well, I wasn’t flirting with him!

Anxiousanxietyart: i saw your messages. that was flirting.

Pattonhead: ...you can’t prove anything!

Anxiousanxietyart: mm hmm. anyways, come over here. i have cookie dough. wanna make chocolate chip?

Pattonhead: Virgil. I love you so much. You know me so well!

Anxiousanxietyart: love you too pat.

———————

Pattonhead posted an image: Chocolate chip cookies with the best best friend in the world! <3 @anxiousanxietyart deserves the world and I’d give it to him if I could and he helped me make these so at least I can give him half of these cookies!

Anxiousanxietyart replied: no, you’re the best best friend in the galaxy, pat.

Pattonhead replied: I love you more than the stars and moons and universes.

Anxiousanxietyart replied: ...you win this time

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: Those look really good??? I want one????

Anxiousanxietyart replied: too bad, princey :)

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: whyyyyy

Anxiousanxietyart replied: :)

Pattonhead replied: Now, now, kiddos, be nice.

Logicallylo replied: Those do indeed look quite delicious, Pat.

Pattonhead replied: Aww, thanks Lo! :3

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Is that what you call flirting Logan?

Logicallylo: Shut up.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Wrote a bit on the fic, check it out!

Anxiousanxietyart: um, okay.

———————

Anxiousanxietyart: hey, so one question.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Bring it!

Anxiousanxietyart: did. you. make. a. little. mermaid. au???

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Yes, duh!

Anxiousanxietyart: ...well, if nothing else, it will be fun to draw.

Anxiousanxietyart: that being said, why.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: It was fun! Also it fit really well! Thou mayest judge me, but that will be your loss!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Also, since I find the most plot holes (read: any) of any Disney movie in it, it is my sacred duty to fix them in this fic.

Anxiousanxietyart: i mean, it’s a good idea?????? it’s just not what i was expecting is all

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: But of course, doing what others expect is not the Roman way!

Anxiousanxietyart: roman?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: ...Logan’ll kill me

Anxiousanxietyart: logan???

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Curse my loose lips! Ah look at that, tis time to leave! Places to be...

Anxiousanxietyart: your name... is roman?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: ...yes...

Anxiousanxietyart: that's a pretty name

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You think so?

Anxiousanxietyart: yeah

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: well, thanks, Anx.

Anxiousanxietyart: ...do i need to say my name? is that how it works?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: No! You don’t have to!

Anxiousanxietyart: okay.

Anxiousanxietyart: ...maybe later, who knows.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: !!!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Of course, it’s only if you want to! It’s your decision!

Anxiousanxietyart: gtg, bye

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Goodbye, Anx.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Uhh, Logan? I think I did a mistake.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: [image]

Logicallylo: Roman. You are an idiot.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I knoooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: What do I do now?

Logicallylo: Do I need to give you the Stranger Danger talk?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Please don’t.

Logicallylo: I won’t, but only because it would be more effective to tell you in person.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Ughhhhhhhhh fiiiineeeeeeee. I know I deserve it. Kinda.

Logicallylo: ‘Kinda’?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Absolutely deserve it.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: But he’s not a creepy stalker! He’s Anx!

Logicallylo: “Anx” could be a front in order to lure disaster gays to meeting with him in order to murder you or eat you or something.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: EAT me? Now, I know I seem delicious, but that seems just bizarre. I thought I was the creative one here!

Logicallylo: Oy vey.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: And fear not, I will not be meeting with him anytime soon, if ever. Besides, there are possibly many Romans in this world, much less the US!

Logicallylo: That does seem reasonably logical… However, be careful. You never know what people’s motives are on the Internet.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Yeah, alright.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: And now…

Logicallylo: Roman. What are you doing.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: ;)

Logicallylo: You are going to die.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Live a little, Logan!

Logicallylo: You can’t do if you’re dead.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces:

Why.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: PAT! COME HITHER AT ONCE!

Pattonhead: Yes Princey?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Thou mayest call me Roman now.

Pattonhead: Oh okay!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: And do you perchance like hamsters?

Pattonhead: All pets are valid!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: [image]

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: [image]

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: [image]

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Boom.

Pattonhead: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! HE’S SO ADORABLKESJVABFHRSIHVIUHSDFIGJIRSTJHBG

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I know :)

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Your crush knows my name now.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: [image]

Logicallylo: First of all, he is not my crush. I have no crush. I am unfeeling.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Nice try to the person who’s known you since you were sobbing because you lost your stuffed bee.

Logicallylo: I’m going to ignore that.

Logicallylo: Second of all, I hope I don’t have to explain to you why that was a terrible idea and if you get murdered in your bed, I won’t mourn you.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Pat won’t murder me in my bed. He’s too soft.

Logicallylo: Oh I meant by me. Out of anger at your stupidity.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: …

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Point taken.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: But don’t my brave actions inspire you to do something about your situation?

Logicallylo: No. Not really.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Talk. To. Him.

Logicallylo: Why would I do that?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Because he’s a soft puffball and he likes you.

Logicallylo: No he doesn’t. He doesn’t even know me. And I don’t know him. He could very well be 80 years old and wishing to murder me.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Not romantically! Not yet, at least.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: He likes you as a person! That means the spark for romance is there!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Besides, this is Pat you’re talking about. Biggest-puffball-in-the-universe Pat. Are you aware of the words exiting your fingertips?

Logicallylo: Oy vey.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: tALK TO HIM! IT IS YOUR DESTINY!

Logicallylo: ...fine.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: HUZZAH!

Logicallylo: Only because I know you will pester me until I do.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You know me too well.

Logicallylo: I. Am. Your. Brother.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces:

Okay, Darth.

———————

Logicallylo: So.

Logicallylo: Hello, Pat.

Pattonhead: Hiya Lo! :D

Logicallylo: How has your day been going?

Pattonhead: It’s been pretty good so far! Yours?

Logicallylo: It has been satisfactory.

Pattonhead: That’s… good?

Logicallylo: It is.

Pattonhead: Yay!

Logicallylo: ...so, how’s the weather where you are?

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: The weather? Really?

Logicallylo: Why are you still here? Why are you looking over my shoulder? ...why are you messaging me instead of talking?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Because I can.

Logicallylo: But why?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Because I can.

Logicallylo: Ugh.

———————

Pattonhead: It’s raining a little, but I don’t mind! Virgil and I are havin’ a lil movie night!

Logicallylo: That sounds nice. What movie(s) are you watching?

Pattonhead: Well, I say movie night. I really mean we’re rerererewatching Parks and Rec for the 45th Time.

Logicallylo: I see.

Pattonhead: It’s a good show!

Logicallylo: It is indeed. Where are you at?

Pattonhead: Season 3 :)

Logicallylo: What’s your favorite character?

Pattonhead: WHY DO YOU MAKE ME MAKE THESE IMPOSSIBLE DECISIONS LO?!?!

Logicallylo: Because I wish to know more about you.

Pattonhead: Oh.

Logicallylo: Yeah.

Pattonhead: Uhh, I would honestly die for Ann she is my child I love her

Pattonhead: Also Leslie in general? She’s just great?? AND tHE TRIPLETS!!!! I cried aah

Logicallylo: Ann is indeed a good character.

Pattonhead: :D

Logicallylo: Objectively, everything about Tom’s business strategies is terrible and ineffective and illogical. However, Roman appears to enjoy him to some extent, for what reasons I cannot fathom.

Logicallylo: Ron has earned my admiration, although the probability knowing how that happened is as unlikely as Mark Brendanawicz (how is his last name spelled again?) returning.

Pattonhead: Oh yeah I forgot about him! Aww I’m sorry now

Logicallylo: There is need to be. He was likely removed for a reason.

Pattonhead: Who’s your favorite character?

Logicallylo: …

Pattonhead: Hey, there’s no bad characters!

Logicallylo: ...while I do enjoy Ben (despite his infuriating refusals of perfectly logical job offers for Leslie, of all things), he is not my favorite character.

Pattonhead: Who is it? You can tell me!

Logicallylo: …

Logicallylo: Objectively, I respect the heck out of Jerry.

Pattonhead: That… is not what I was expecting.

Pattonhead: But Jerry is good too! He deserves love <3

Logicallylo: I agree, and when he got to be mayor it was quite satisfying.

Pattonhead: Virgil likes April, of course. He seems to find her relatable :)

Logicallylo: That makes sense.

Pattonhead: What about Roman?

Logicallylo: He is quite fond of “Treat yo self”, obviously.

Pattonhead: Ooh that’s good too!

Pattonhead: Oh! I gotta go now, Virgil’s looking at me weird.

Pattonhead: Talk to you later?

Logicallylo: Of course.

Pattonhead: YAY! See ya, Lo!

Logicallylo: ...Logan.

Pattonhead: ?

Logicallylo: You can call me Logan. That is my given name.

Pattonhead: Oh. I’m Patton!

Logicallylo: So your username is not a typo?

Pattonhead: Haha, nope! XD Night, Logan! <3

Logicallylo: Goodnight, Patton. I hope you sleep well.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: That went well ;)

Logicallylo: His name is Patton.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: ...you got his NAME?!

Logicallylo: His URL is a pun.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: It wasn’t a typo?

Logicallylo: A self-referential pun.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Exactly your type, isn’t he?

Logicallylo: ...I am going away from you. I have no destination in mind. I simply need to exit your presence.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Rude.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Wait, who the heckity heck five abs and a peck is Virgil?!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Logan?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Didn't get that answer, huh?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Ugh, nvm.

———————

Anxiousanxietyart: patton, you’re not even paying attention.

Pattonhead: Sorry kiddo! I guess I’m a little distracted.

Anxiousanxietyart: there was a puppy onscreen. you didn't even look up, much less start screaming and crying as usual.

Pattonhead: ...a little distracted, that’s all.

Anxiousanxietyart: this isn’t distraction, this is straight up black magic.

Pattonhead: Kiddo, it’s you and me here. It cannot be straight up.

Anxiousanxietyart: true, but not the point.

Anxiousanxietyart: ...wait.

Pattonhead: What is it?

Anxiousanxietyart: you’ve been staring at your phone all night, smiling like

Anxiousanxietyart: ...oh.

Pattonhead: ??

Anxiousanxietyart: you’ve been talking to lo, haven’t you?

Pattonhead: ...yes, what about it?

Anxiousanxietyart: oh my gosh Patton, you are not subtle at all.

Pattonhead: He messaged me, and we’ve been talking a lot, and he’s just really nice, that’s all!

Anxiousanxietyart: mm hmm…

Anxiousanxietyart: don’t lie. lying is wrong.

Pattonhead: I'm not lying!

Anxiousanxietyart: if you say so…

Pattonhead: I do say so!

Anxiousanxietyart: then come watch april be socially awkward and relateable in the corner

Pattonhead: Okay! :D

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Wait, who the heckity heck five abs and a peck is Virgil?!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Logan?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Didn't get that answer, huh?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Ugh, nvm.

Anxiousanxietyart: ?!?!?!?!?!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Oh, sorry Anx! I meant to send that to Logan.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: ...or logicallylo, since he seems to be telling everyone his name tonight.

Anxiousanxietyart: where the hell did you hear that name?!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Uhh, while spying on my brother messaging with his crush, why?

Anxiousanxietyart: …

Anxiousanxietyart: no reason. i just know someone named virgil. that's all.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Ah, okay.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: So not because your name is Virgil?

Anxiousanxietyart: no

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I’m not a murderer, don’t worry. I will not use this information to find you and kill you.

Anxiousanxietyart: um.

Anxiousanxietyart: not reassuring.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: What can I do to prove my identity?

Anxiousanxietyart: give me your full name? sell me your soul? sign an oath in blood that you are prince roman of singalongland?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: YOU might murder ME if I give you my full name, I already sold my soul, and how would you know it was my blood?

Anxiousanxietyart: you could take a video of you signing it?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: OF COURSE! A SELFIE!

Anxiousanxietyart: eww no.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: eWW YES!

Anxiousanxietyart: why.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You cannot dissuade me now! It is too late!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: But you must take one too, so as to prove I’m not sending my beautiful visage to a random 80 year old man named Chuck.

Anxiousanxietyart: i… haven’t ever taken a selfie before… and i'm not a random 80 year old man named chuck...

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Well, I am a champ in the Great Selfie Game, so you may learn from a mASTER!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: And I'll believe it when I see it, CHUCK.

Anxiousanxietyart: Okay, but until I see you, you can't prove you’re not an 80 year old woman named gertrude, so you have to go first.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I’m not an 80 year old woman named GERTRUDE!

Anxiousanxietyart: Whatever you say, gertrude.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Logan help me

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Oh wait you’re asleep

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: So if I get murdered because of this, it’s your fault okay

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: For not stopping me I mean.

———————

Anxiousanxietyart: patton help i don’t know how to selfie

Pattonhead: Kiddo, it’s late? I thought you were going to sleep now?

Anxiousanxietyart: sleep is for the weak.

Anxiousanxietyart: also, i might have promised roman a selfie…

Anxiousanxietyart: help.

Pattonhead: Why would you do that?

Anxiousanxietyart: i have a death wish

Pattonhead: KIDDO NO

Anxiousanxietyart: also because i'm weak and gay

Pattonhead: Don't talk bad about yourself!

Anxiousanxietyart: that’s not talking bad about myself…

Pattonhead: Anyways, I will help you with taking a selfie!

Anxiousanxietyart: Thanks, pat.

Pattonhead: Np! :D

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I HAVE RETURNED FROM TAKING THE SELFIE OF YOUR DREAMS AND AM READY TO RECEIVE THE SELFIE OF MINE!

Anxiousanxietyart: um. it’s hardly that.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Nonsense! I’m sure you look as fantastic as you are inside!

Anxiousanxietyart: uhh.

Anxiousanxietyart: can you go first?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Absolutely!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: [image]

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Ta-da!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Feast upon my glorious visage!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: ...Virgil?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You there?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Wow I can’t believe my stunning good looks actually killed a man

———————

Pattonhead: Kiddo, what was that thunk?

Anxiousanxietyart: i'm gay.

Pattonhead: Hi gay, I'm Patton!

Anxiousanxietyart: can you come here?

Pattonhead: We’re in the same room, Virge.

———————

"Patton please burn my phone I can't stand to see such magnificence."

"...I'm sorry, what?"

Virgil held up his phone, blushing furiously. There was the picture that had murdered him. The brown and green eyes that had captured him. The reddish brown hair that he wanted to run his hands through. The smirk on his face that he wanted to ki...

"If you ever cared about me, you will get rid of this picture of Roman so I can stop looking at it." His face was as red as Roman’s magnificent locks.

Patton looked smug. Too smug. "Sorry, kiddo, but nope."

"Dangit!"

Virgil fell over sideways on the bed, groaning, face flushing. Patton patted his head comfortingly.

Suddenly, Virgil shot up. “OH MY GOSH I NEVER RESPONDED!”

He lunged for his phone.

———————

Anxiousanxietyart: you are really wow.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: It took you 25 minutes to say that? My self esteem is pretty high already but wow, you could have warned me.

Anxiousanxietyart: no, like good wow.

Anxiousanxietyart: like stunning wow.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Oh.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Thanks.

Anxiousanxietyart: i only speak the truth.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I’d hope so!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Okay, Chuck, your turn?

Anxiousanxietyart: okay um so i’m not as pretty as you or anything or at all but um here you asked for it

Anxiousanxietyart: [image]

Anxiousanxietyart: i know i took like half an hour to respond but honestly please don’t.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Um

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Wow

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You’re kind of really stellar, you know that?

Anxiousanxietyart: i most certainly am not!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You most certainly are! Beauty calls to beauty!

Anxiousanxietyart: wow.

———————

Roman gasped openly at the sight of such beauty, and didn't care if Logan heard him or not.

The purple and black hoodie covered part of the boy's face, but even in the dark room, Roman could still make out his utter splendor. His dark brown-black hair was dyed a brilliant purple, and it partially covered his eyes, which were a stunning indigo color. Black eyeshadow was smeared beneath them too carelessly to be truly careless. He had a small, almost shy smile on his face, and beneath the white foundation, were those...

"FRECKLES?!" He yelled in surprise and delight.

"ROMAN WHAT THE ACTUAL CROFTERS."

Oops.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: So my brother is awake now.

Anxiousanxietyart: ???

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I screamed upon seeing you and woke him up.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Oops.

Anxiousanxietyart: well there goes the last of my self esteem

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: No, good scream! Very good scream!

Anxiousanxietyart: oh

Anxiousanxietyart: um

Anxiousanxietyart: okay

Anxiousanxietyart: wait what time is it for you?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Like 1 am-ish?

Anxiousanxietyart: same here, but go to hecking sleep!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Says you!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Fiiiiiiiine. But only to appease the angry monster of a brother woken from his (much-needed, if I may say so) beauty sleep.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Goodnight, Virgil. Sleep well.

Anxiousanxietyart: night, ro.

———————

Logicallylo: Why was I the only one to get any sleep last night?!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh let me sleep

Logicallylo: You woke me up, I wake you up.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Why.

Logicallylo: Because I can. I believe the correct emoticon to use here would be “:)”

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You make me so proud, and yet so furious.

Logicallylo: :)

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: And now, LET ME SLEEP FOR GOODNESS SAKE!

Logicallylo: Sure. If you can.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: oh good lord.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: wHY ARE YOU PRACTICING THE CELLO AT 6 AM

Logicallylo: I shall not respond, for I am too busy playing the cello.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Uuuuughhhhhhhhh you’re evil. Evil.

———————

Anxiousanxietyart: oh gosh what have i done

Anxiousanxietyart: [image]

Logicallylo: Why are you messaging me specifically with this? I play no part in this. I was asleep.

Anxiousanxietyart: because you have more common sense than anyone else i know.

Anxiousanxietyart: also, patton is asleep, and i’d rather die than wake him up.

Logicallylo: True.

Logicallylo: You were tired, I believe, and not thinking straight. Is that correct?

Anxiousanxietyart: i never think straight, lo.

Logicallylo: True. However, I did some research, and there are 81,875 people in the U.S. with the first name Virgil.

Anxiousanxietyart: how did you—you know what? never mind.

Logicallylo: I used logic. It was quite simple, but the fact that Roman has used the same password for his phone for 10 years helps.

Anxiousanxietyart: oh my gosh.

Logicallylo: There are 6 time zones in the US, so 81,875 divided by 6 is approximately 13645.833 Virgils in this time zone, so the odds of a potential stalker finding you is very unlikely.

Logicallylo: Plus, I can vouch for Roman.

Logicallylo: [image]

Logicallylo: He’s sleeping on the couch right now. It is almost noon. He should not be sleeping. This is not promoting a healthy sleep schedule.

Anxiousanxietyart: thanks, lo.

Logicallylo: Call me Logan.

Logicallylo: And you’re welcome.

Anxiousanxietyart: ...but warn me before you send me these images? i need time to prepare before another pic of roman?

Logicallylo: You mean this guy?

Logicallylo: [image]

Logicallylo: This boy right here?

Anxiousanxietyart: stooooooppppppppp

Anxiousanxietyart: i’d take a photo of patton in retaliation, but he’s asleep in the other room and i would rather be tortured in tartarus for all eternity than betray him.

Logicallylo: I see what’s happening here, Virgil.

Anxiousanxietyart: ???

Logicallylo: You cannot hide from logic and reason.

Anxiousanxietyart: yes i can.

Anxiousanxietyart: freakin watch me.

Logicallylo: Virgil. Why.

Anxiousanxietyart: because i’m in denial and i will run from my feelings forever

Logicallylo: That is not healthy, Virgil.

Anxiousanxietyart: well well well, look who’s a hypocrite.

Logicallylo: I do not run from my feelings! I simply do not have them.

Anxiousanxietyart: mm hmm. go message patton, then.

Logicallylo: That I will.

———————

Logicallylo: Salutations.

———————

Logicallylo: ...I have realized that he is asleep.

Anxiousanxietyart: yes.

Logicallylo: You knew this.

Anxiousanxietyart: yes.

Logicallylo: You said this multiple times.

Anxiousanxietyart: yes.

Logicallylo: Virgil Lastname.

Anxiousanxietyart: brava for you on your attempt at guessing.

Logicallylo: Honestly. Why.

Anxiousanxietyart: because it’s fun.

Logicallylo: You are evil.

Anxiousanxietyart: i know :)

———————

Logicallylo posted: I will now list all the reasons why a regular sleep schedule is necessary, and what not keeping one does to your body. @anxiousanxietyart and @disneynbroadwaynprinces will listen to every single reason, as payment for their crimes.

Anxiousanxietyart replied: you called me evil.

Logicallylo replied: Reason number one: sleep helps you think. Without sleep, you cannot think straight.

Anxiousanxietyart replied: i have a few choice words to say about that reason, lo

Logicallylo replied: Hush, I am chiding you for your behavior.

———————

Pattonhead: Sorry Logan! I was asleep. How’s it goin?

Logicallylo: No need to apologize, Patton. It is going well here, how about you?

Pattonhead: I’m good! A wee bit tired, but that’s ok!

Pattonhead: Lolo look Khoshekh is on my legs aaaahhhhh???

Pattonhead: [image]

Logicallylo: I

Logicallylo: Um

Logicallylo: Who is Khoshekh, why did you take a picture of your whole body, how did you take a picture of your whole body when you’re not even holding the device?

Pattonhead: My cat! :3 Virge named him, of course!

Pattonhead: Virgil also offered to take the pic so he wouldn’t leave, haha!

Logicallylo: Ah, of course. I see.

———————

Logicallylo: Virgil, you evil, evil man.

Anxiousanxietyart: chaotic neutral baby :)

———————

Logan was in awe. The boy on the other end of the screen had light brown curly hair and glasses that made him look, somehow, even more adorable than he already was. He was blushing, and had freckles spanning across his entire face and neck. His eyes were the color of clear, clean, blue-green pool water. His grin radiated joy. Everything about him seemed alive alive alive.

Somehow, he was even more cute than the fluffy orange kitten on his lap.

Patton was absolutely stunning, and Logan could do nothing but sit there and attempt to control his heartbeat.

If he had had feelings before, this was nothing compared to now.

He was, objectively, done.

———————

Logicallylo: [image]

Logicallylo: I suppose that it is only logical that if you send me a picture of yourself, one of me is in order.

Logicallylo: And I thought Roman was the overtired one…

Pattonhead: Kcoadkdksskmasajxkff

———————

Patton stared at the picture of the most handsome man he'd ever seen (and he'd gazed upon Virgil's glory). He had black hair with fading blue tips, an angular face (were those freckles on the cheeks? Adorable!), and glasses with the same frames as Patton's own (who'da thunk?). The glasses framed beautiful navy eyes, the precise color of sapphires. He had the small smile of someone who didn’t smile quite as much has he deserved, but when it did, it counted.

Logan was beautiful.

Patton was in love.

He threw his iPad across the room.

A surprised yell came from Virgil in the other room.

Oops.

———————

Logicallylo: What happened?

Pattonhead: I’m sorry, Khoshekh got on the keyboard!

Logicallylo: Ah, I see.

Pattonhead: You look really nice!

Pattonhead: I mean good!

Pattonhead: I mean pretty!

Pattonhead: I mean—

Logicallylo: Thank you, Patton.

Pattonhead: ^-^

———————

Pattonhead: Soooooo, Virgil!

Anxiousanxietyart: yeah?

Pattonhead: So as it turns out, i miiiiiight have been flirting a liiiiittle with Lo

Pattonhead: Because I might have a teensy weensy itsy bitsy tiny little bitty crush…

Anxiousanxietyart: i heckin knew it!

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I have awaken from my beauty sleep!

Anxiousanxietyart: didn’t know you needed it.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Did you just

Anxiousanxietyart: i meant—i—oy vey

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You did! YOU DID! Oh happy day!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Great Zeus almighty, I thought this day would never come!

Anxiousanxietyart: we’ve known each other for only a few weeks, ro.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Forever.

Anxiousanxietyart: mm hmm totally.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I can taste your sarcasm, Virgil.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: But no matter!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I only have to scroll up to remind myself what you REALLY think about me.

Anxiousanxietyart: that you’re annoying?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: [image]

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: That I’m hot.

Anxiousanxietyart: was that selfie really necessary?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Yes. Yes it was.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: And you didn’t denyyyyyy iiiitttttt

Anxiousanxietyart: you’re not hot, roman.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: He said, like a liar.

Anxiousanxietyart: he said, like a man in denial.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: He said, like a man in a river in Egypt

Anxiousanxietyart: ??

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: De Nile

Anxiousanxietyart: oy vey why

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces posted:

I was too lazy to think of a title but it involves Hamilton so

Summary: It’s Vect and Xaer and Peri being the friendos they are, but they’re Hamilton buds and that makes it all better.

Word count: who knows? not I, not I

Warnings: a lot of Hamilton

A/N: Writer’s block sucks. It most verily does. That is why this exists. (In other words, I miiiiiiight have hit a wee bit of a snag with my Big Bang fic…) It is an attempt to salvage my writing skills.

Read more

Veertrash71 replied: I loooooveeeeee it! Aaaaaahhhhh it’s so fluffyyyyyy

Perisureimace replied: I’m pretty sure I’m gonna explode from all the Hamilton haha

Veerleft replied: This is canon now I decided

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Lo and I are having a mooooovie night!

Anxiousanxietyart: weren’t you up super late last night? why is he endorsing this behavior

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Because we’re watching Rogue One and he’s gay for Cassian Andor (who isn’t tbh)

Anxiousanxietyart: i… haven’t seen it…

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: G A S P ! ! ! HOW D A R E

Anxiousanxietyart: umm i just? never did? it can’t ever be as good as the original trilogy so

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Umm, it’s pretty far up there! Worth watching at the very L E A S T

Anxiousanxietyart: you’ll have to tell me about it

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You. Me. FaceTime. Now.

Anxiousanxietyart: um??? what is happening

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You are Going to Watch this Movie with me, and you Will Like It!

Anxiousanxietyart: is there a choice?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Do you have a pressing appointment?

Anxiousanxietyart: nope, free all day

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Than nope!

Anxiousanxietyart: oh my gosh roman

Anxiousanxietyart: i didn’t peg you for a diehard star wars fan?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: …how??? I’m like the biggest freaking Star Wars nerd since Logan (well, he likes Star Trek better, honestly how are we even related)

Anxiousanxietyart: i have realized my mistake

Anxiousanxietyart: (and star trek is totally better?)

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: nO NOT YOU TOO!?!?!

Anxiousanxietyart: there are a lot of reasons, which i can and would list, but i only need one:

Anxiousanxietyart: which was first to have canon gays, hmm?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Finn and Poe came before Culber and Stamets??

Anxiousanxietyart: but stormpilot isn’t canon 

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Not with that attitude it isn’t!

Anxiousanxietyart: oy vey.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Also, Baze and Chirrut are totally married wHICH REMINDS ME, ROGUE ONE. NOW.

Anxiousanxietyart: …

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: please?

Anxiousanxietyart: alright fine.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: YAY! ONWARDS, MY NOBLE KNIGHT, AND LET US B E G I N!

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Sooooooooo?

Anxiousanxietyart: so what?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Whaddya think?

Anxiousanxietyart: it was alright, i guess

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: ALRIGHT YOU G U E S S?!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Falsehood! You cried so hard you turned off the camera!

Anxiousanxietyart: who’s falsehooding now?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Still you! You loved it and you know it!

Anxiousanxietyart: you can prove nothing

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You may try, but you cannot deny the truth that is your tears

Anxiousanxietyart: try harder, lor san tekka

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Dangnabbit!

Anxiousanxietyart: i know my star wars lor

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Did you just

Anxiousanxietyart! patton is right over my shoulder i couldn’t just not

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: well, LOGAN is over MY shoulder, and he’s absolutely done

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Well done young Padawan

———————

Logicallylo: Why, Patton. Why would you do this.

Pattonhead: Oh hello Logan! How’s it goin’ in Logantown?

Logicallylo: Alright, I suppose. I was just consoling a sobbing Roman because of Rogue One, and now he has been sent off to bed because he was up late last night, and he has rehearsal tomorrow.

Pattonhead: Ooh, rehearsal?

Logicallylo: He is in a production of Falsettos with some friends of his (yes, he has friends).

Logicallylo: How about you?

Pattonhead: I’m not in any plays, if that’s what you’re askin’, Lo.

Logicallylo: No, I meant how was your day?

Pattonhead: Ooohhh! It was good!

Logicallylo: That is good.

———————

Anxiousanxietyart: i’m a badawan, thanks very much?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Yoda Chronicles, and I'm a Jedi Knight

Anxiousanxietyart: i am ready to fight

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: foR THE SITH!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: ZOOM POW ZAP ELECTRICITY

Anxiousanxietyart: why haven’t more people watched that thing

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Who knows?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Honestly I was super freaking gay for Jek-14 when I was younger

Anxiousanxietyart: who wasn’t?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Truth hath most verily been spoken here

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Look look look look look

Anxiousanxietyart: it’s a lesbian from next door!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Followed by her lover who’s a lesbian from next door too!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: But seriously look here

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: [image]

Anxiousanxietyart: is that

Anxiousanxietyart: a freaking

Anxiousanxietyart: jek-14 lego set???

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: YES IT IS INDEED

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: LOOK AND WEEP

Anxiousanxietyart: oh my gosh

Anxiousanxietyart: you freaking nerd

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Nerd?! I thought I was more of a geek!

Anxiousanxietyart: okay jeremy

Anxiousanxietyart: (nerd)

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: r u d e

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Virgil

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Virgil

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: VIRGIL

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: V I R G I L

Anxiousanxietyart: three m o o n s what the heckity heck do you want?!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Wings of Fire, and are you awake?

Anxiousanxietyart: no, definitely not

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Oh okay then

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: ...wait

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You little

Anxiousanxietyart: you’re welcome

Anxiousanxietyart: now why did you message me at three in the morning?!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I can’t sleeeeppppppp

Anxiousanxietyart: not with that attitude you can’t

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: And I have a Very Urgent Question for you

Anxiousanxietyart: shoot.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Do dryads have skin? Or is it just bark?

Anxiousanxietyart: i

Anxiousanxietyart: um

Anxiousanxietyart: what?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Because like if they have bark, how do they move? And like they’re tree ladies? So like how

Anxiousanxietyart: can you facetime me? i need to see your face while you say that.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Mm ok

———————

When Roman accepted the FaceTime request and was greeted with five solid minutes of Virgil laughing. Which was a nice greeting, yes, but a wee bit annoying, it being at him rather than with him.

“Rude,” he said when Virgil finally calmed down. This, of course, made him start laughing again.

“I’m sorry, haha!” He wiped away a tear. “It’s just—such a random—haha—question!”

“Doesn’t mean you had to FaceTime me JUST to rub it in.”

“Umm, yes I did. Obviously.”

Roman rolled his eyes. “But do dryads have bark?”

“I’m gonna say no.”

“But they’re trees, Virgil!”

“Tree people!”

“Trees! Have! Bark!”

“But they have to move???”

“Yeah, but if they have tree spirits, then can’t they have flexible bark?” Roman asked, trying to convince Virgil.

“No? That’s not how it works?”

“How would you know?!”

“Because I have basic sense?” Virgil sighed, laughing. “How did you even come up with this?”

“I was rererereading Percy Jackson, and I just thought of it,” Roman said.

Virgil shook his head, smiling. “Only you, Roman.”

Roman looked like he didn’t know whether to be pleased or offended. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“That you’re unique and hilarious and creative and dramatic.”

“Heck yeah I am!” Roman flipped his hair, and Virgil covered his mouth to keep from laughing too hard. Roman finally lost all control of his traitorous gigglebox, and let out a snort that turned into a giggle that turned into a laugh that he muffled with his pillow in order to keep from waking up Logan.

Virgil stared, his cheeks growing red in the darkness.

“I gotta gay—I—um—go.”

He hung up quickly, leaving Roman to wonder what the heck had just happened.

“Wait, but do they have skin?”

———————

Anxiousanxietyart: Patton holy crap

Pattonhead: Language, kiddo. Yes?

Anxiousanxietyart: i think i have a crush on roman

Anxiousanxietyart: i have feelings for him and i don’t even know him and it’s terrifying and i don’t know what to do

Pattonhead: Aww, kiddo, come over here.

———————

Anxiousanxietyart posted: i’m sorry guys, there’s not going to be anything for a while, maybe ever. sorry im such a failure.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Virgil!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I have many ideas to tell you of!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Thou must come here so I can tell you them!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Oh Virgil?

Anxiousanxietyart: im sorry.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: What for?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Virgil?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You on?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Hello?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: …

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Fine, I’ll give you some space

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Virge you okay?

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Virgil stop ignoring me

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Answer me! I command you!

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Virge?

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Fine. You don’t want to talk to me, I don’t want to talk to you. I’m done.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I’m sorry Virgil I didn’t mean it just talk to meeeeee

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Is it something I did? I’m sorry for whatever it is, just tell me what to do to make it right. Please.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Virgil, I really miss you. Please come back. I’m begging you.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces posted: I’m sorry, all, for the lack of content. I’ve just been really sad lately. I’ll be back soon, hopefully, maybe, sometime.

———————

Logicallylo: Virgil? Are you on?

Logicallylo: Virgil, normally I would respect your privacy, but this is not a normal occurrence.

Anxiousanxietyart: what?

Logicallylo: Did something happen with Roman?

Anxiousanxietyart: ...sort of?

Anxiousanxietyart: how did you guess?

Logicallylo: It’d be impossible not to know, seeing how much he’s moping around lately. Living with him is… well, like living with him how he is usually only with more sad songs played around the house and more moping, as well as less general cheerfulness. It’s concerning.

Anxiousanxietyart: …

Anxiousanxietyart: oh crap what have i done

Logicallylo: Virgil. Breathe. In through your nose, out through your mouth.

Anxiousanxietyart: what do i do???

Logicallylo: You need to talk to him. Now. Before it’s too late.

Anxiousanxietyart: do i have to? can’t i keep repressing my feelings longer?

Logicallylo: No.

Anxiousanxietyart: fine, but you need to talk to patton then.

Logicallylo: What about?

Anxiousanxietyart: don’t play dumb.

Logicallylo: …fine. But if he doesn’t respond well, I’m blaming you.

Anxiousanxietyart: he won’t, but ditto.

Logicallylo: Very well. I will leave you to contact my brother. I wish you luck.

Anxiousanxietyart: thanks, lo. you’re a good friend.

———————

Anxiousanxietyart: ro? you there?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: SWEET MOUNTAIN DEW RED YOU’RE ON!

Anxiousanxietyart: sorry for disappearing like that. i just had to think through some stuff.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Well, warn a prince next time!

Anxiousanxietyart: um, ro?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Yes?

Anxiousanxietyart: i need to tell you something, and it wouldn’t really… work… over messaging. could i call you?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Of course, Virgil. Anytime.

———————

Virgil stared at the number on the screen in front of him. It seemed to dare him to do what he did best: panic enough to avoid doing this, Tell Roman to forget about it, it was nothing, go back to how it was before. Don’t risk this friendship, the possibility of the other man not being who he said he was, and just let things stay the same.

It was a tempting thought.

He looked to his left to see Patton sitting next to him, giving him a supportive thumbs-up and mouthing, ‘you can do this!’

What would he do without Patton, honestly?

He took a deep, grounding breath. I can do this. I can do this.

Virgil dialed the number, and he heard Roman pick up.

“Hello? Virgil?”

Virgil threw his phone across the room.

It hit the other wall with a thunk and hit the floor.

Problem solved.

Patton looked at him. “Uhh, kiddo, what was that?”

Virgil huddled into himself. “I can’t do this!” He hugged his knees to his chest, shaking his head.

Patton took hold of his shoulders. “Hey. Virgil. Look at me.” He did. Patton’s sea-colored eyes were wide and comforting. “I believe in you. I know Roman feels the same way. You can tell him. It’s all right. Okay?” When Virgil hesitated, the other boy continued: “You don’t have to do this today. It will be perfectly fine if you don’t. However, you will have to do it sometime. Better sooner rather than later. One step in front of the other. You have got this.”

Virgil nodded. He let go of his knees, and stood up. He crossed the room slowly, his heart in his throat. He slowly picked up the phone.

“DUDE WHAT THE CROFTERS WAS THAT?!?!?!”

...the phone had not hung up.

“Sorry Roman!” Virgil stared at Patton in panic. “I—uh—I don’t know what happened!’

“Uh huh.”

There was a silence. It was tense, awkward, expectant. Virgil knew he had to be the one to break it. He took a deep breath—

“So what was it you wanted to tell me?”

Dangnabbit!

“Uhh—I—um—” Virgil lost all control of his filter. “Ithinkimightkindareallylikeyouandthatterrifiesmeandpleasedontbemad”

There it was. His soul laid bare. Virgil had done it. Patton was grinning and giving him the thumbs up. He felt a weight lifted off his chest.

What the freaking heck had he done.

A bigger weight fell on top of him. Roman hadn’t spoken yet. He didn’t like him back. It was official. He hated him. He—

“Oh. Wow. Cool. Um. Ditto?”

What.

"What?"

Roman laughed awkwardly. "Um. Oh wow this is not how I wanted this to happen. I had a whole thing planned and it was spectacular but. The feeling is mutual. I quite like you too. Romantically."

“Wait, really?!”

“Yeah.”

“Oh.” A pause. “Well what do we do about that?”

“Um. Wanna date?”

“Cool.” There was silence. Neither of them knew what to say.

Suddenly, Virgil began laughing. He tipped over, giggling uncontrollably into the phone. He snorted and rolled around, laughing and laughing and laughing.

“Virgil? You alive?”

“I—I just can’t believe,” he began between laughs, “that I avoided you for all that time, and all I needed to do was just call you? It’s just—it’s really ironic, isn’t it?”

Roman caught on, snorting into the phone. “Yeah, it is.”

They finally stopped laughing minutes later, drifting into comfortable silence. No one said anything. They didn’t need to. Everything that had been needed to say had been said, and all the tension was gone.

“So what happens now?” Roman asked.

“I guess we just try and see how things work out,” Virgil answered.

“You really have no clue, don’t you?”

“I really don’t.”

Roman snorted. “Neither do I, so it’s fine.”

Virgil let out a soft laugh. It felt good to be talking to him, really talking, nothing left as a secret.

They really should do this more.

And that’s when Roman broke the spell.

“NOW, LOGAN JOAN BERRY, GET YOUR TUCHUS OVER HERE AND TALK TO PATTON!” He yelled, his mouth still next to the gather-sound-thing on his phone. How could Virgil tell? Because it was right in his ear.

“Um, ow?”

“Oh, sorry Virge!”

“No worries. My bleeding ear will recover. However, my traumatized eardrum will not.”

“My voice is lovely, your eardrum should be thanking me for allowing it to hear my magnificent voice!”

“If you say so.”

Roman made a wounded and offended noise on the other end of the phone. Virgil snorted.

“If you want Logan and Patton to talk to each other, can they have their own call? I don’t want them to be flirting over my phone.”

“...oh yeah, that’s a good idea.” Roman paused a moment. “Uhh, maybe hold the phone away from your ear.”

“What—”

There was a thunk and a faint yell. A different voice shouted, “WHAT THE CRAP ROMAN?!”

“TAKE YOUR PHONE AND GO FLIRT IN THE OTHER ROOM!”

“WHY DID YOU THROW MY PHONE AT ME?!”

“Whaaaaaat is happening?” Virgil was very confused. Patton, still sitting next to him, had even less idea of what was going on.

“Umm, kiddo, is everything alright?”

“Who knows?” He shrugged. Patton did not seem to calm down or seem less confused.

And that’s when his phone rang.

Virgil and Patton both stared at the phone vibrating and playing “Baby Bumblebee” on the table. It kept ringing, undisturbed by the stares. Phones don’t care about you or what you do. They just ring.

Roman cleared his throat, yanking Virgil’s attention back to him. “Virge, tell Patton to pick up his phone before Logan spontaneously combusts, taking me with him and rendering the world devoid of this magnificent face.”

Virgil repeated this sentence word for word, dumbfounded.

“I, um, okay?” Patton walked over to the phone and picked it up. “Hello? Hi, Logan. Umm, what did you want to talk to me about?”

Patton walked out of the room, still talking.

———————

“Lo? What’s going on?”

Logan cleared his throat, preparing himself. Now was the time. He’d say ‘it’s now or never’, but after The Last Jedi, he swore off the phrase forever. Besides, it was inaccurate. He could always procrastinate.

No. He would confess now.

It was time.

He opened his mouth.

“How was your day?”

Nailed it.

Patton sounded a bit confused. “Umm, it was okay. Steve Carlsberg died today. It was sad. We had a funeral for him.”

“...what?”

“Oh, one of our fish.”

“Ah.”

Silence on both ends.

Logan opened his mouth to ask about the other fish names.

“I kind of really like you!”

Wait what.

What in the holy name of the pythagorean theorem did he just do.

Patton was silent for a long, nerve-tearing-into-pieces minute. When he finally spoke, it was to say that, “I like you too, Logan! That’s why we’re friends.”

“I—no.” Logan took a deep breath. If he didn’t say it now, he never would. Also, he would have to live with this miscommunication on his conscience for all of eternity. “Romantic like. As Roman would say, ‘I’m gay for you’ like.”

“Oh! I like you romantically too.”

‘Wait what’ was what he would have thought if he had had the ability to form coherent thoughts.

“I. Um. What?”

“Yeah.” Patton sounded like he was probably blushing. No, definitely. He was definitely blushing. “You’re really nice and kind and smart and beautiful and amazing and yeah I like you romantically back!”

“I—that was. Um.” Logan, you’re speaking nonsense. Collect yourself. I swear, sometimes you’re just too gay to live. “That’s good.”

“I’d hope so.” Patton’s voice was filled with a feeling Logan couldn’t place, but it was good. Definitely good.

“So,” he said, “what will happen now?”

“I don’t know!” Patton giggled. “I’m honestly just happy to be here, talking to you.”

“You are simply too sweet.”

Patton made a slightly flustered noise.

Logan cleared his throat. “Shall we just continue how we’ve been continuing and just see what happens?”

“Whatever we do I know will be just fine.” Patton spoke with an air of wiseness that said he knew what he was talking about. He was more people-smart than Logan, and that was one of the many reasons they complimented each other.

“Why is that, Pat?” Logan asked.

“Because dogs exist, and nothing bad can happen in a world with dogs,” he said very seriously.

Logan snorted. While that may have not been strictly logical, Patton was correct. They would be just fine.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces posted: Guess who’s not a single bean anymooooreeee??? This guy!

Anxiousanxietyart replied: oh my gosh

Veertrash71 replied: wait WHAT

Pattonhead replied: I was confused for a sec there, kiddo, but then I remembered.

Veertrash71 replied: UM

Logicallylo replied: Congratulations. You have found someone to deal with your nonsense. Lucky for all of us.

Veertrash71 replied: Is no one else going to freak out??

Perisureimace replied: Oh congrats!

Veertrash71 replied: WHY IS NO ONE ELSE CONFUSED THAT PRINCEY WAS EVER SINGLE?!

———————

Anxiousanxietyart: hi

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Greetings and salutations!

Anxiousanxietyart: um

Anxiousanxietyart: is there, like, protocol for talking now that

Anxiousanxietyart: um

Anxiousanxietyart: you know

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Your guess is as good as mine.

Anxiousanxietyart: oh okay

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: So

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Uhh

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Any pets?

Anxiousanxietyart: ...what?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I had to think of SOME conversation topic.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Your answer?

Anxiousanxietyart: a cat and fifty billion fish.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: What are their names?

Anxiousanxietyart: the cat is khoshekh, the fish are all named after wtnv characters but i can never remember who’s alive anymore. i think janice ate carlos last week, but i’m not sure.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: How dare you Janice?!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Do you perchance happen to have any pictures? If a pic of you came into the mix, I wouldn’t complain, just sayin’

Anxiousanxietyart: oh my gosh ro

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Love you too <3

Anxiousanxietyart: ajckskskkckdkfes

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Did I break you?

Anxiousanxietyart: ...maybe

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Honey

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Sweetie

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Apple of my eye

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: My one and only

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Knight in dark and angsty armor

Anxiousanxietyart: [image]

Anxiousanxietyart: [image]

Anxiousanxietyart: [image]

Anxiousanxietyart: [image]

Anxiousanxietyart: take my pet photos and freaking leave

Anxiousanxietyart: babe

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Amckskjdhdjsjsjakkadf

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Oh my gosh is that you with your cat???

Anxiousanxietyart: yes

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: No mere mortal eyes should gaze upon such cuteness!

Anxiousanxietyart: good thing you’re not a mere mortal

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Aww!

Anxiousanxietyart: your ego alone is godly enough for ten zeuses

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: ...I retract all my praise.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: [image]

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Alexander Hamsterton and I go on all sorts of adventures.

Anxiousanxietyart: ajdkdkskfjkssa

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Fair play is turnabout, Virge >:)

Anxiousanxietyart: why would you do this terrible thing

Anxiousanxietyart: my mind is dead now

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I tease because I love <3

Anxiousanxietyart: i

Anxiousanxietyart: uhh

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Oh gosh I didn’t mean like that it’s too soon aah ignore me oy vey

Anxiousanxietyart: um okay

Anxiousanxietyart: so

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Hey so I’m wondering

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Why do you always text with no caps???

Anxiousanxietyart: it's for the a e s t h e t i c

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Oh my gods you utter and complete e m o

Anxiousanxietyart: thank you for the compliment

Anxiousanxietyart: much appreciated

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: It… I… I give up.

Anxiousanxietyart: :)

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Oh you NERD

Anxiousanxietyart: said the theatre geek to the emo.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: ...what is that supposed to mean??

Anxiousanxietyart: no hecking clue.

———————

Logicallylo: Greetings and salutations, Patton.

Pattonhead: Oh hello! How are you?

Logicallylo: I am doing well. And you?

Pattonhead: Same here! A wee bit tired, but good all the same!

Logicallylo: I feel an urgent desire to sleep as well.

Pattonhead: Well, that’s one way to put it!

Pattonhead: HELP

Logicallylo: What’s going on?

Pattonhead: [image]

Pattonhead: SPIDER!!!!!!

Logicallylo: It appears to be a Pholcus phalangioides, or daddy long legs. It has venom, but is so small that it cannot bite or transfer venom. It is harmless.

Pattonhead: STILL! SPIDER!

Logicallylo: Do you have arachnophobia?

Pattonhead: No, but I’m terribly afraid of spiders!

Logicallylo: That’s what I said. Arachnophobia.

Pattonhead: WHERE IS VIRGIL I NEED VIRGIL TO TAKE IT OUTSIDE

Logicallylo: I have no idea of Virgil’s whereabouts.

Logicallylo: Perhaps you can message him?

Pattonhead: I’D SAY OOH THAT’S A GOOD IDEA IF I WEREN'T TERRIFIED

———————

Pattonhead: SPIDER!

Anxiousanxietyart: i’ll be there asap

———————

Pattonhead: Virgil has taken the spider outside! It cannot return any more.

Logicallylo: That is good. I am glad that it is gone.

Pattonhead: Just had a scare there!

Logicallylo: Is your emotional state better now?

Pattonhead: Much, thanks, Lo.

Logicallylo: No problem. Would you like me to call you now?

Pattonhead: Ooh yes please!

———————

Patton was now sitting on top of his bed, idly petting Khoshekh and staring at his phone intensely. Maybe if he stared hard enough, Logan would call sooner!

As if on cue, the phone started ringing. Patton picked it up without even looking at the screen.

“Hiya Lo!” He chirped, bouncing up and down.

“Salutations and further greetings,” replied the voice of Logan. Patton’s heart melted upon hearing him. “Is Virgil in the room?”

“Nope, just me! He’s trying to make brownies in the kitchen, apparently ‘to sacrifice to the great and almighty deity of removing all feelings’, so the normal reason, pretty much!”

“Ah. Usual Virgil?”

“There’s nothing usual about Virgil.” Patton’s tone was very serious. He loved his kiddo a lot. He was a small angsty baby koala kangaroo child who needed love.

“I am aware of this.” Despite the words, which would have sounded annoyed, Logan’s tone was fond, and Patton could picture him smiling as he said so.

“You may want to hold the phone away from your ear,” Logan said.

“Why is that?”

“ROMAN, WHERE IS ALEXANDER HAMSTERTON?” Logan’s voice was muffled, but he was obviously yelling.

A quiet reply that might have been “I was playing with him”, but sounded like “I mass gaying with him” was shouted from somewhere else. Patton was slightly confused about what was going on.

“Uhh, Logan? What’s happening?”

“Roman’s hamster wasn’t in his cage, but he’s back now,” explained Logan reassuringly.

“Oh okay! Thank goodness he’s back!”

And that’s when Virgil spoke.

“PATTON SPIDER, THE BROWNIES ARE BURNING AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO HELP ME!”

“Spider?”

Patton shuddered, whispering. “It’s ironic because I have a very large fear of spiders.”

Logan laughed over the phone, and Patton’s heart did some cartwheels. “Ironic indeed.”

They shared a blissful few seconds of silence, nothing to say.

“I should probably go,” said Logan. “You may want to assist Virgil with the brownies.”

“But I don’t wanna hang up! I wanna talk with you!” Patton protested.

“We can talk later, if you wish.”

“Ooh yay okay!” Patton bounced up and down. “Bye, Logan!”

“Goodbye, Patton.”

Logan hung up, and Patton ran to save some brownies from certain doom, still thinking of Logan.

———————

Logicallylo posted a photo: My boyfriend @pattonhead sent me these brownies today. They taste absolutely delicious! Love you Pat.

Pattonhead replied: Aww, so glad you like them honeybee! <3

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: THIS is a Marvelous Cookie! (or brownie, whatever)

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: SWEET! With an excellent CRUNCH!

Anxiousanxietyart replied: perfect to follow a dinner

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: Or just after breakfast

Anxiousanxietyart replied: and prior to lunch! (really though pat, they're probably really good)

Pattonhead replied: Aww thanks kiddo! <3

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You know all my obscure references! A man after my own heart <3

Anxiousanxietyart: you cannot hide from my musical knowledge with frog and toad.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Shall we make a competition out of it?

Anxiousanxietyart: i'm listening.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: We each shall make as many references as possible without telling the other.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: If the other doesn't catch it, the referencer gets a point. If the other does get it, they get a point.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: The one with the most by the time our Big Bang project is posted wins!

Anxiousanxietyart: ro, you got yourself a challenge. let's do this thing.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Can I FaceTime you so we can shake on it?

Anxiousanxietyart: yes

———————

Anxiousanxietyart: can i call you?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Of course, Virgil! Might I ask why?

Anxiousanxietyart: i just need to talk to you rn.

———————

Roman picked up immediately. “Virgil? You okay?”

“No.” Virgil sounded out of breath and terrified to his own ears. “Patton isn’t home and he left his phone and I’m alone and there’s noises and I’m fREAKING OUT and—”

“Hey. Virge. Breathe.” Roman’s voice was calming, cool, soothing. “In. Out. In. Out. Breathe with me, okay?”

Virgil took a deep, shuddering breath. He heard Roman do the same, in sync with him. In. Out. In. Out. They continued, for how long was unknown.

After several minutes of silence, accompanied by the noise of their breathing, Roman spoke. “You feeling better?”

The hesitation of a few moments that seemed to take an eternity followed his words before Virgil replied.

“I—yeah. I’m better now, I mean.” And he was. Who knew that for once the most-recommended, least-remembered tip would actually work?

“Why were you panicking, if I may ask?”

“I kept hearing noises? Not sure how exactly.” A pause. “Thanks, Roman.”

“Anytime.” And he meant it. He would do anything to help Virgil.

He didn’t exactly know what to say after all that. “Do you want me to leave?”

“NO!” Virgil blurted out before realizing what he just said. “I mean, umm, if it’s okay, could you please stay? I don’t really want to be alone right now.”

“Of course,” Roman said softly. “Anything.”

“Is exactly what Han Solo said before getting stabbed by his son.”

“Why are you like this?”

Virgil snorted, and Roman felt a sudden urge to hug him.

“I kinda really love you, you know that?” Roman blurted out. He then slapped his hand in front of his mouth.

Virgil was silent. Utterly, completely silent.

You utter and complete dunce! You’ve driven him away!

“I—ditto.” Virgil let out a small, slightly awkward laugh. “This is not what I expected this day to be like.”

“What did you expect?”

“You can’t see because this is a call but I’m shrugging.”

Roman laughed. “That sounds about right.”

Virgil cleared his throat. “Patton just sent me a text, you don’t have to stay. He’s coming back in a few.”

“I can stay if you like,” Roman said. “I won’t leave you if you don’t want me to.”

“No, it’s fine. You can go.”

Roman shrugged. “If you’re sure. Love you.”

“Love you too. Bye, Ro.” Virgil hung up, and Roman sat there, shocked and blushing.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You feeling better?

Anxiousanxietyart: yes. patton’s home now, we’re watching the princess bride.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Glad you’re ok.

Anxiousanxietyart: thanks again, ro.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: All you need to do is ask. I’m here for you, love.

Anxiousanxietyart: anfkdmfjsjfk

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Did I mess up? Oh gosh I’m sorry

Anxiousanxietyart: no

Anxiousanxietyart: i

Anxiousanxietyart: kind of like it???

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Okay love

Anxiousanxietyart: gonna pay attention now, gnight, love

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: ajkfmsjdhjfjd

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: sleep well, mi amor

Anxiousanxietyart: how the heckety heck do you know spanish

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: ;)

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: HAVE I GOT THE STORY FOR YOU!

Anxiousanxietyart: good morning to you too.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: It’s 1 in the afternoon.

Anxiousanxietyart: ...

Anxiousanxietyart:

g o o d m o r n i n g

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: ANYWAYS

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: SO

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I just saw a woman.

Anxiousanxietyart: whoa. never knew women existed.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Hush, I may be gay, but I know women exist and are amazing

Anxiousanxietyart: never knew that you were gay???

Anxiousanxietyart: truly shocked

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: ANYWAYS, BACK TO MY STORY!

Anxiousanxietyart: oy vey.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: At the salad restaurant.

Anxiousanxietyart: …salad… restaurant?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Yes it exists

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Ordering a salad.

Anxiousanxietyart: wow. never would have guessed.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: ...wHILE EATING A FREAKING DONUT.

Anxiousanxietyart: i… what?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You heard me!

Anxiousanxietyart: no, i didn’t. we’re texting.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You know what I mean!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: A chocolate covered donut. In line. Ordering a salad. To-go.

Anxiousanxietyart: why were you at a salad place?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Because they have the best gosh dang Mac n Cheese in the galaxy and I was in Urgent Need for it

Anxiousanxietyart: huh

Anxiousanxietyart: so, not because you suddenly decided to take care of yourself?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Despite Logan and Patton’s best efforts, no. Never.

Anxiousanxietyart: good, i was starting to worry you weren’t you.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Fear not, I am still my magnificently fantastic self!

Anxiousanxietyart: and that’s a reason not to worry? counterproductive.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: RUDE.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Someday, I will take you to Crunchy & Emerald, and you will see just how fantastic their Mac n Cheese is.

Anxiousanxietyart: really?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Couldn’t stop me if you tried. And don’t try.

Anxiousanxietyart: i guess it’s a date, then.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: ahfkdmfjdkf

Anxiousanxietyart: :)

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Evil. Truly evil.

Anxiousanxietyart: said it before, i’ll say it again:

Anxiousanxietyart: chaotic

Anxiousanxietyart: neutral

Anxiousanxietyart: :)

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Chaotic good, myself

Anxiousanxietyart: i can see that. class?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Paladin, Fighter, sometimes Bard

Anxiousanxietyart: huh

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You?

Anxiousanxietyart: rogue

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You dark, angsty soul.

Anxiousanxietyart: got that right.

Anxiousanxietyart: you ever actually played d&d?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Aye, verily! Logan and I once arranged a campaign with friends (he was a sorcerer). It was quite fun!

Anxiousanxietyart: sounds like it.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Yep! What about you? Have you ever embarked on the nerd adventure of a lifetime that you can take more than once?

Anxiousanxietyart: i have one (1) friend who’d consider it, and he’s clueless about these things (patton)

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Well, now you have 3! We shall organize a campaign at once!

Anxiousanxietyart: three?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Me, Patton, and Logan!

Anxiousanxietyart: he’d like that?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Are you kidding? He LOVES nerd stuff like that!

Anxiousanxietyart: ...somehow, i am not surprised.

———————

Anxiousanxietyart: wait.

Anxiousanxietyart: aren’t you lactose intolerant?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: :)

Anxiousanxietyart: i forbid you from eating that mac n cheese ever again

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Try and make me. I dare you. You will never separate me from my one true love! NEVER!

Anxiousanxietyart: what about me?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Babe.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I love you.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: But if you try and keep me away from Crunchy & Emerald’s sweet sweet cheesy macaroni, you will be unboyfriended.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces:

:)

Anxiousanxietyart: oh my dog.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You have a cat.

Anxiousanxietyart: umm, my point still stands

———————

Pattonhead: Lololololololololo!!!!

Logicallylo: I am here, Patton. What’s the matter?

Pattonhead: I’m at Target with Virge, and on the way we had the most magical encounter!!

Logicallylo: Would you like to tell me about it?

Pattonhead: That’s why I’m here! :3

Logicallylo: I am listening.

Logicallylo:

Or rather, watching. This isn’t a call.

Pattonhead: SO me and Virge were walkin’ to Target, and I heard? this? “meow meow” noise?

Pattonhead: I looked back aND THIS ADORABLE GRAY CAT WAS RUNNING ON ALL FOUR TINY LEGS TO MEET US, MEOWING???

Logicallylo: That does indeed sound adorable.

Pattonhead: The kitty ran up to us and went between Virgil’s legs and around my legs and I petted him and then he walked away it was amazing and pure and magical and I feel blessed

Logicallylo: Wow.

Logicallylo: That seems like a pleasant experience.

Pattonhead: It was the BEST DAY of my LIFE!

Logicallylo: I can believe that.

Pattonhead: Aaa gotta go, the friend is on the Virge of leaving me behind to shop alone :)

Logicallylo: I shall see you later, Pat.

Pattonhead: Byeeeee Lo!

———————

Anxiousanxietyart: pat and i went out shopping today for some sweet sweet starbound preparation materials, and look what i got

Anxiousanxietyart: [image]

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Is that

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: A freaking

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: XAER PIN?!

Anxiousanxietyart: :)

Anxiousanxietyart: they had them at the store, and even though they were out of vect pins, pat got a peri one and i got this

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: That

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Is

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: So

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: COOL?!?!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I am so jealous you have no idea

Anxiousanxietyart: i know

Anxiousanxietyart: whiiiich is why i lied

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: ???

Anxiousanxietyart: they did have vect pins

Anxiousanxietyart: [image]

Anxiousanxietyart: and it’s for you

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: ?!?!?!?!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: OH MY GOSH YOURET HE BEST BOYFRIEND EVERTFHRUSNJSJZSNAKSJSDKSKHDF

Anxiousanxietyart: i wonder if he’s excited at all

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: THE M O S T!!!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: THANK YOU SO MUCH VIRGE <3

Anxiousanxietyart: you’re welcome :)

———————

Pattonhead: Lololololololo!!! :D

Logicallylo: Yes?

Pattonhead: Look look look look look I got a new beanie!!

Pattonhead: [image]

Pattonhead: I’m a cat!!!! :3

Logicallylo: I

Logicallylo: I need a moment.

Pattonhead: You like it?

Logicallylo: Patton, you are adorable. You know that?

Pattonhead: Aww, that’s so sweet! ^u^

Logicallylo: You are so cute that I fell on the floor.

Logicallylo: [image]

Logicallylo: You have slain me.

Pattonhead: Aaaaaaaaawwwwwwwww! Nooooooooo don’t dieeeeeeee!

Logicallylo: Roman has taken this opportunity to “conquer the foul beast of Calculatortown”.

Logicallylo: [image]

Logicallylo: Why will he not stop stepping on me.

Pattonhead: Whyyyyyyyy Roooomannn?!

Pattonhead: Step off of my boyfriend!

Logicallylo: He is gone now.

Logicallylo: [image]

Logicallylo: With your encouragement, I have slayed the brother.

Logicallylo: Or rather, made him leave my room.

Pattonhead: YAAAAYYYYYYYYY! :DDD

Logicallylo: And now, I can get back to my book.

Pattonhead: Nooooooo keep talking to meeee!

Logicallylo: As you wish.

Pattonhead: YAYY! :D

Pattonhead: What’re you reading?

Logicallylo: Rebel Rising, by Beth Revis. I had a desire to learn more about Jyn Erso, and this is about her backstory.

Pattonhead: Ooh, sounds fun!

Logicallylo: It is, although I find it interesting how Jyn had a boyfriend before Rogue One, and the reason why she is captured by the Empire is somewhat unexpected.

Pattonhead: Huh!

Logicallylo: But enough about me, or about Jyn. What about you? How is Khoshekh?

Pattonhead: Adorable as ever!

Pattonhead: [image]

Logicallylo: You speak no falsehoods about that. Khoshekh is, indeed, adorable.

Logicallylo: However, you are even more so.

Pattonhead: Awwwwww, Lo, you’re makin’ me blush!

Pattonhead: [image]

Logicallylo: The evidence you have just sent has only strengthened my case. You are incredible, Patton. You make people feel, despite their original hesitance. You love so much, and are so many wonderful things.

Logicallylo: I haven’t the words to describe how I’m feeling. Emotions were never my forte.

Logicallylo: However, you… you are incredibly good at forcing me to feel things, and at making me like it.

Pattonhead: I

Pattonhead: I just don’t know what to say?

Pattonhead: I love you too, Logan. Always.

Logicallylo: I

Logicallylo: That

Logicallylo: You said you didn’t know what to say. But that was perfect. It was absolutely, positively perfect.

Logicallylo: I have no words.

Pattonhead: I can give you some of mine?

Logicallylo: I’m not entirely sure that’s how it works.

Pattonhead: I’m not entirely sure that I care.

Logicallylo: I feel as though you should probably care about that.

Pattonhead: I do, I just care about you more <3

Logicallylo: ajdkskndjdjs

Pattonhead: Did you just

Pattonhead: Did you just keysmash???

Logicallylo: Umm.

Logicallylo: If I said no would you believe me?

Pattonhead: YOU DID!

Logicallylo: Oy vey.

Pattonhead: Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me <3

———————

Anxiousanxietyart: help me roman i’ve been laughing at this for like 5 hours

Anxiousanxietyart: https://youtu.be/JMV3lRrduf0

Anxiousanxietyart: i’m just watching it on repeat and dying

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: AND THAT WAS THE FRIEND

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: NOW TELL ME

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: E N D

Anxiousanxietyart: this is true art right here

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Yes indeed.

———————

Anxiousanxietyart posted 6 photos:

i’ve been attempting some photography, and here’s some of my and pat’s favorites. he’s the one who talked me into posting these. if you hate them, blame him.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: HATE them? H A T E them? H A T E T H E M ? !

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: I L O V E T H E M ! ! !

Anxiousanxietyart replied: oh.

Anxiousanxietyart replied: thank… you?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: I do not say these things lightly, Virgil. You have real talent, my love!

Pattonhead replied: I told you, kiddo! Your photos are amazing!

Logicallylo replied: They are indeed absolutely fantastic, Virgil. Well done. You have a true eye for photography.

Anxiousanxietyart replied: i

Anxiousanxietyart replied: i don’t know what to say?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: No words needed.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: Only more pictures, if you please! I haven’t seen true beauty since I saw your selfie (or maybe my mirror image), and your photography is truly stunning! Almost as stunning as you!

Anxiousanxietyart replied: ajkfmfjfhgnzkdjfm

Anxiousanxietyart replied:

Anxiousanxietyart replied: take my photos and g o

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: Amazing!

Pattonhead replied: What’d I tell you, kiddo? You’re great at this!

Logicallylo replied: Spectacular. Simply spectacular.

Anxiousanxietyart replied: here’s some more, i guess

Anxiousanxietyart replied:

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: I haven’t the words to describe just how talented you are, love.

Anxiousanxietyart replied: wow. i never would have thought anyone would like these? thanks, guys

Pattonhead replied: No need to thank us! You’re the one who took the photos, Virge.

Veertrash71 replied: wHOA ANX HAS TALENT???

———————

Pattonhead: Hey kiddo!

Pattonhead: I’m proud of you.

Anxiousanxietyart: why?

Pattonhead: For opening up, and showing your pictures even though you didn’t know how they would be received. I knew you were nervous, but you handled it like a champ.

Anxiousanxietyart: i

Anxiousanxietyart: thanks, pat. love you.

Pattonhead: Love you too, kiddo. Wanna draw and listen to music?

Anxiousanxietyart: gosh yes.

———————

Anxiousanxietyart posted a photo: a bunch of sketches and an actual decent fanart i made. i just really wanted to draw xaer more. zey are really fun to draw.

Pattonhead replied: Nice job!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: You have quite a lot of talent!

Logicallylo replied: Well done, Virgil.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Loooogannnnn helpppp

Logicallylo: What is it?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: It’s just

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Virgil’s so good at so many things

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: And he’s really nice and sweet and amazing

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: And I love him so much

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: But he doesn’t realize how talented he is?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: And I wanna tell him and help him but I don’t know hoooowwww

Logicallylo: Roman.

Logicallylo: You are helping him already. By being there and letting him know you’re there for him, you have already done more than you know.

Logicallylo: As for letting him realize his worth, just keep doing what you’re already doing. The two of you have a great support system, and you both know how good at so many things the other is.

Logicallylo: But both of you are oblivious to how amazing both of you are, and neither of you see how the other isn’t superior to you. You both are equally talented in different areas.

Logicallylo: That is how the world works, Roman. You need to let him realize how talented he is on his own, but help him in any way you can. Don’t rush it. One thing at a time.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: ...wow. Thanks, Lo.

Logicallylo: You’re welcome, Ro. Now go get that boy. Again.

———————

Logicallylo:

I should get paid for my matchmaking skills.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Hey Virge?

Anxiousanxietyart: what is it ro?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I just

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You’re really amazing, you know that?

Anxiousanxietyart: no, i’m really not, but thanks.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: No, seriously. You’re super talented and great at so many things and I feel like you don’t know that enough.

Anxiousanxietyart: i

Anxiousanxietyart: i don’t know what to say. thanks, roman.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You’re welcome.

Anxiousanxietyart: why are you saying these things, if i may ask?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I just

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Just felt like you needed to know this.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Love you, Virgil.

Anxiousanxietyart: love you too.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces posted: @logicallylo and I will not be here for about a week? There’s a family gathering for a cousin’s bat mitzvah in another state, and we won’t be able to be on for a while. There shall be a surprise when I return, however! ;) See you soon!

Pattonhead replied: Awwww, we’ll miss you!!!!!!! Have fun!!!!!

Anxiousanxietyart replied: goodbye, ro. stay safe, and tell me when you get back.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: I shall miss you very much, my love.

Pattonhead replied: You can’t really see him because we’re texting, but Virge is blushing like a tomato and I felt it important that you know :)

Pattonhead replied: [image]

Pattonhead replied: See?

Logicallylo replied: Oh my gosh I love you.

Anxiousanxietyart replied: this is complete and utter betrayal?!?!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: aaaAAAAWWWWW! Baabeeeeee, you have a crush on me?!

Anxiousanxietyart replied: we’re dating, andy

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: that was an easy one, it doesn’t count!

Pattonhead replied: Oh my gosh you totally have a crush on him!!!

Anxiousanxietyart replied: if i’m being made fun of, it totally counts.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: We’re not making fun of you! It’s just adorable, that’s all!

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: [image]

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: This face can make many a man swoon ;)

Logicallylo replied: If it helps, his cheeks are a bit flushed as well. You can see in the image.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: Wow thanks Lo?? Honestly why would you point that out???

Anxiousanxietyart replied: that doesn’t help??????? it’s only worse now?????? you are e v i l

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: Chaotic good, love. We’ve discussed this?

Logicallylo replied: Lawful neutral myself.

Pattonhead replied: Neutral good! :D

Anxiousanxietyart replied: chaotic neutral.

Logicallylo replied: Somehow, the fact that I am the only lawful one makes sense…

———————

Pattonhead: Viiiiiiiiirgiiilllllll

Anxiousanxietyart: yes?

Pattonhead: I miss Logannnnn

Anxiousanxietyart: i know. i miss roman too.

Pattonhead: I just wish they were here, y’kno?

Anxiousanxietyart: yeah. i know.

Anxiousanxietyart: wanna have a game night?

Pattonhead: Anytime, kiddo :)

———————

Pattonhead: I’m going to the store, want anything?

Anxiousanxietyart: a soul

Pattonhead: ...kiddo, I have 5 dollars

Anxiousanxietyart: what were you gonna buy with 5 dollars?

Pattonhead: Chips.

Anxiousanxietyart: chips… don’t cost 5 dollars…

Pattonhead: ...chips.

Anxiousanxietyart: i’ll be there in a sec

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces posted: I AM HERE, I AM QUEER, AND I HAVE RETURNED FROM MY QUEST! Did you miss me? (oh, and @logicallylo ‘s here too)

Pattonhead replied: LOGAN!!!!!!!!!!! I MISSED YOU SO MUUUCHHHHHH

Logicallylo replied: I missed you too, Patton. A lot.

Anxiousanxietyart replied: hey, ro.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: VIIIIIIIRGILLLLLL!!! Did you miss me?

Anxiousanxietyart replied: no.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: ?!?!

Anxiousanxietyart replied: i’m kidding! yeah, missed you.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: Missed you too, my cruel and heartless love.

Anxiousanxietyart replied: i’m not cruel and heartless.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: I know that you are anything but.

———————

Anxiousanxietyart: facetime me?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Of course, my dear Virgil.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces posted a video: In celebration of returning from a week-long hiatus, here’s a video of me singing! I chose A Whole New World because it’s Disney and it won the wheel spin of fun songs to sing haha! Enjoy!

Anxiousanxietyart replied: i

Anxiousanxietyart replied: i’m dead. you’ve killed me.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: Haha thanks babe

Anxiousanxietyart replied: you? just? keep murdering me? in cold blood? honestly

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: It’s what I do best ;)

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Ughhhhhhhh help meeeeeee

Anxiousanxietyart: what’s happening? You ok?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Just having a bad day…

Anxiousanxietyart: wanna talk about it?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Just have writers block and no play rehearsal because I got the most HORRENDOUS cold and Logan is out doing things and I’m alone and in pain and bored and these few days before the new Starbound are always the most terrible and I’m just uuuughhhhhh

Anxiousanxietyart: i’m sorry, ro. anything i can do to help?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Just being here is amazing, thanks <3

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Also wanna have a Harry Potter marathon with me?

Anxiousanxietyart: how could i refuse?

Anxiousanxietyart: facetime?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I don’t really feel like my normal magnificent Princey self…

Anxiousanxietyart: i’m pretty sure that you could never be anything near less than godly in looks.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: aww, thanks

Anxiousanxietyart: besides, i see worse every time i look in a mirror.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: nO BABE

Anxiousanxietyart: kidding, i had to say that, i’ll call you

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Thanks for binge watching Harry Potter with me, Virge. I owe you one.

Anxiousanxietyart: no problem, love.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Oh my gooooshhhhh

Anxiousanxietyart: did i do something wrong?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: NO

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: HEAVENS NO

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I’m just

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Aaaaaaaaahhhhh

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: you killed me

Anxiousanxietyart: oh my gosh

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: I’m deaded

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Slain

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: By my own boyfriend

Anxiousanxietyart: you’re so lucky i love you

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Aodkdjdakkdkslskdjdk

Anxiousanxietyart: :)

———————

Pattonhead posted: TODAYTODAYTODAAAYYYY!!! :D

Anxiousanxietyart replied: wow, I wonder if he’s excited

Logicallylo replied: Of course he is, Virgil. It is rather obvious. I’d have thought you’d have noticed. No need to wonder.

Anxiousanxietyart replied: sarcastic.

Logicallylo replied: Ah. Very well.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: Thou art a bunch of liars! All of you are most excited as well, I know this with absolute certanity!

Logicallylo replied: Certainty, and falsehood. I am not excited. I have no emotions.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: I saw you dance in your room earlier. Don’t lie.

Logicallylo replied: Falsehood. That was you. I saw you.

Anxiousanxietyart replied: i never said i wasn’t excited. only a fool wouldn’t be.

Logicallylo replied: ...I suppose I shall concede a point to you. I do feel an adequate amount of excitement to read the newest book of Starbound.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: yeeEEEESSSSSS!

Anxiousanxietyart replied: woo.

Logicallylo replied: Are you satisfied?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces replied: I WILL NEVER BE SATISFIED

Anxiousanxietyart replied: god i hope you’re satisfieeeddd

Pattonhead replied: AAAAAAAAAA VIRGE TIME TO GO GET IT NOW!!!!!!!!

Anxiousanxietyart replied: coming.

———————

Logan walked into the crowded bookstore with low expectations, if any.

Roman had, of course, come down with a cold, but nothing was going to stop him from running down to the bookstore himself if Logan didn't go and get them both copies of Starbound: Awaken, so here he was. Alone. In a social setting.

Why was he here again?

Ugh, there was a line. He walked over to stand in it. While waiting, he pulled out his phone to check Tumblr. Roman was complaining on the dash about being sick, Virgil was retaliating with sass, and Patton was being cute with puppy and kitten photos and energy in the corner. Logan held back a laugh. He really loved his friends.

He turned off his phone and surveyed the people around him. There were kids with parents dressed up as Peri and Xaer and Vect and all the other characters, making Logan smile a little. One confused adult was dressed as Luke Skywalker, which made him sigh a little. Honestly.

He made his way to the front of the line, purchased two copies of the book, and began making his way towards the exit. The smell of new books was particularly strong in this bookstore, and Logan stopped to stand and enjoy it a while. He was about to continue walking when he could have sworn he heard the most familiar voice.

"C'mon, kiddo! Let’s get in line! Aaaa I'm so excited!"

"I can't tell at all..."

Logan's head swiveled around 180 degrees like R2-D2's. Standing there was a pair that looked too good to be true. There was no way Patton and Virgil could possibly be here. It just wasn't logical. And yet, a purple-hoodie-clad back and another with a blue shirt and gray cat hoodie tied around his shoulders were standing there, chatting animatedly.

"No way in Crofters," he muttered to himself, staring at the two. And yet, there must have been a way in Crofters, as they were there, weren't they?

He was debating the pros and cons of approaching them (Venn diagram and all) when Roman called. He took that as a sign to leave, but made a mental note of this day.

Logan had a lot to think about.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: How about them Starbound?

Anxiousanxietyart: it was very good.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: GOOD?! It was INFURIATINGLY AMAZING! SPECTACULAR!

Anxiousanxietyart: good.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Oy vey. You’re lucky I love you.

Anxiousanxietyart: ahsidjsndhshhsidiska

Anxiousanxietyart: why.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: You know you love iiiittttt :)

Anxiousanxietyart: i know nothing except hatred.

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: As Logan would say,

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: FALSEHOOD!

Anxiousanxietyart: how often does he say that?

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: More than you could possibly know.

———————

Starbound-Big-Bang posted: Friendly reminder that you have one more week before posting time! Authors: You must have your fanfics done and above the word limit. Artists: You must have your drawings/projects done and ready for posting.

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: gUESS WHO TOTALLY FINISHED HIS FINAL DRAFT?!

Anxiousanxietyart: oh congrats! i’ll read it in a sec

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: AAAAAAAAAAA!!!

———————

Anxiousanxietyart: it’s very good, congrats

Disneynbroadwaynprinces: Aww thanks! Call me?

Anxiousanxietyart: of course

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces posted: Only 3 days ‘til Showtime!

Pattonhead replied: Break a leg, kiddo! :D

Anxiousanxietyart replied: what pat said. you got this, ro.

Logicallylo replied: Fracture a femur.

Anxiousanxietyart replied: ????

Logicallylo replied: It WAS break a leg, but I improved it.

Anxiousanxietyart replied: ...never say that again.

———————

Logicallylo: Virgil, may I have a word?

Anxiousanxietyart: what is it?

Logicallylo: You are aware that Roman is to do the thing where he makes a fool of himself in front of others while pretending to not be himself?

Anxiousanxietyart: ...you mean acting?

Logicallylo: Yes, that is what I said.

Anxiousanxietyart: how could I not know?

Logicallylo: And are you aware that I believe that we do not live too far away from each other?

Anxiousanxietyart: ...how would you know that?

Logicallylo: I… may have seen you and Patton at the bookstore…

Anxiousanxietyart: WHAT

Logicallylo: On the day Starbound: Awaken released.

Anxiousanxietyart: which bookstore?!

Logicallylo: Formerly a Bruegger's Bagels

Anxiousanxietyart: and you were going to tell me WHEN?!

Logicallylo: It slipped my mind.

Anxiousanxietyart: it. slipped. your. mind.

Logicallylo: I wasn’t positive it was you.

Anxiousanxietyart: why didn’t you SAY anything?!

Logicallylo: You left before I could approach you.

Anxiousanxietyart: and how did you conclude that we don’t live too far away from each other?

Logicallylo: Roman and I live only a block away from the bookstore, and you and Patton appear to have walked. You are too lazy to have walked more than a mile, even with Patton’s puppy eyes as a factor, as well as the fact that it’s the newest Starbound. Hence, not too far.

Anxiousanxietyart: ...i could have been visiting from australia. i could have wanted some exercise for once. heck, i could be a serial killer. i know where you live now!

Logicallylo: You didn’t have an Australian accent, we are in the same time zone anyway, I don’t think that’s likely, and I highly doubt you’re a serial killer, as we’ve known each other for too long and too well. Also, you don’t know exactly where I live, as I didn’t give you the address.

Anxiousanxietyart: ...logical, as always.

Logicallylo: Of course. Necktie.

Anxiousanxietyart: what were you going to ask me?

Logicallylo: Virgil, Roman has his play in a week. It is at the school auditorium.

Anxiousanxietyart: …no.

Logicallylo: Whyever not?

Anxiousanxietyart: …

Anxiousanxietyart: i’m just anxious

Logicallylo: This is not news to me. You are always anxious.

Anxiousanxietyart: ...yes, but

Logicallylo: Your name is AnxiousAnxiety.

Logicallylo: There is an “art” in there as well, but it is not beneficial or necessary to the point I am attempting to make.

Anxiousanxietyart: yes, but

Logicallylo: So why won’t you come to see Roman preform?

Anxiousanxietyart: it’s just…

Logicallylo: You can tell me.

Anxiousanxietyart: i’ve known him for 5 months, and we’ve only ever talked here or on the phone. the thought of meeting him in person, it just…

Logicallylo: It seems daunting. Final. Real. I know.

Anxiousanxietyart: yeah, exactly.

Logicallylo: You don’t have to come. It would be fine if you didn’t. However, for Roman’s sake and yours, please consider it.

Anxiousanxietyart: …

Logicallylo: Just consider. That’s all I ask.

Anxiousanxietyart: alright. but if i die, i’m blaming you.

Logicallylo: I wouldn’t expect you not to.

———————

Anxiousanxietyart: Hey, ro.

Anxiousanxietyart: so, today's the day. showtime.

Anxiousanxietyart: i know you won't be able to read this until later, because you're backstage preparing and all, but i wanted to tell you

Anxiousanxietyart: break a leg, ro.

Anxiousanxietyart: i know as well as you that you'll do amazing, and you will rock this show, you hear? you'll blow us all away with your splendor.

Anxiousanxietyart: you always were too much for anyone, and you're so energetic and alive, and i

Anxiousanxietyart: i just really love you.

Anxiousanxietyart: i had to tell you that before the show started.

Anxiousanxietyart: break a leg. you'll be amazing.

Anxiousanxietyart: you truly are a star.

———————

The theater was dim, as one would expect.

It was packed, as one would not.

At least not from a 7-person show in the auditorium of a school that was only available for this one night. There were plenty of seats, and there was an actual stage with actual curtains obscuring it, which was honestly all it really needed to set the theatre mood, at least in Virgil's opinion.

He and Patton were roaming the isles, looking for a person they'd never actually spoken to in real life, in the same place, not on the phone. The murmur of hundreds of whispers at once was somehow almost deafening. It was certainly overwhelming, whatever else it was, and if was all Virgil could do to keep calm.

‘it's okay, you've got this, you're only going to go see your boyfriend for the first time in the same room as him, no biggie,’ he thought. This did not calm him.

"C'mon, kiddo! You excited?" Patton was bouncing up and down on his toes, clutching his gift bag (containing two homemade plushies) with all his strength. No points for guessing if he was excited at all.

"Yeah..." Virgil brushed some stray violet strands of hair out of his eyes and sank further into his hoodie. Patton looked at him, concerned.

"You alright there, Virge?"

"Just anxious… More than usual, I mean."

Before Patton could respond, his phone rang. When he answered it (the ringtone was the Baby Bumblebee song; Pat had great ringtones for all his friends. Virgil's was the Little Einsteins theme song (why? no one knows.), and Roman's was I’ll Make a Man Out of You), his face lit up.

"Heya Lolo!" Patton listened intently for a few moments, during which Virgil could barely make out Logan's voice on the other end of the call.

"Mhmm... Uh huh... Okay... Alrightie!... Love you!... See ya in a sec!" Patton hung up and turned to Virgil.

"He's in Row G, Seats 7-9. C'mon!"

If Virgil wanted to turn and run out the door screaming, he couldn't have. Patton had him by the arm in an iron grip. There was no escape.

Patton tugged him at a run to the seats, which were full of people. However, Patton had eyes for only one person.

"Logan?"

A man turned, his glasses glinting in the light. His hair was blue in the dim light despite being black, the ends lighter and in need of a re-dyeing, and his expression, which had been neutral yet nervous, now sported a fond smile.

"Patton?"

Said boy ran and tackled Logan in a flying hug. Virgil was content to watch.

"LOGAN!!!!!!!!" Logan was unable to reply, his face being smushed into the shoulder of Patton.

"Mmph," he managed to get out.

Virgil felt like he was massively intruding on a private moment.

“Um, I’m just gonna go over there, away from here.”

Logan said something that might’ve been “You do that,” but also may have been “I like hat” or “potato fat”.

Virgil edged past them, giving Logan a sympathetic pat on the shoulder as he did so. He headed to his seat, and read over the program (it was a folded piece of paper with the show on the front and the cast list and people-who-helped list inside) in boredom. At one point he opened his phone and scrolled through Tumblr a bit, but he couldn’t concentrate. His nerves were up so high they’d breached the atmosphere and now couldn’t breathe because they didn’t have spacesuits.

He turned off his phone, sighing. There was nothing for him to do now but sit, wait, and check and double check and triple check that his bag was still there.

Minutes passed, and the lights did not dim, the chatter did not stop, and Logan and Patton had not returned. They were probably still catching up.

‘Or they’ve been kidnapped. Or they’re dead. Or they’re lost. Or they’ve abandoned you. Or they’re—’

“VIRGIL!”

Patton, hand in hand with Logan, was heading towards him. His freckled face was very flushed, his curly hair mussed up a little. He was waving, and almost pulling Logan behind him as he walked. Logan also appeared to be holding the gift bag Patton had given him.

“I’m baaaack!”

“I noticed.”

Logan looked a little sheepish. “Salutations, Virgil. Apologies for not greeting you earlier. I was, er, occupied.”

“No biggie,” replied Virgil, grinning. He then hugged Logan, who seemed to be a little more unaware of how these things went than he was.

They headed to their seats, chatting about life, the universe, and pie. Lots of pie.

“Pumpkin!”

“Chocolate is obviously the best!”

“No, pecan pie!”

“You’ve never even had pecan pie.”

“I know it’s good!”

“You’re allergic to nuts.”

“...it’s good!”

“Pumpkin is still the best.”

“Objectively, chocolate has the best taste.”

This discussion had been carrying on for a while when the lights finally dimmed. Virgil elbowed Logan (he wasn’t sitting next to him, but he would have rather been sucked into the dark, cold, unforgiving void than accidentally hurt Patton) to get him to stop ranting about chocolate pie and shut up.

“Shh! It’s starting!” He hissed. Patton and Logan instantly shut up, and soon, so did the rest of the theater.

There was a pause.

Then, the curtains opened.

The play began.

Virgil sat up anything-but-straight in his seat.

There, onstage, in real life for the first time, was Roman, as animated and alive as possible up in front of hundreds of people.

It was impossible to see the details of his face (beyond "beautiful") through the makeup and lighting, but it was unmistakably him. The energy was too alive and purely Roman to be anything but him. The hair was the precise shade of Roman's, the infectious grin was the same, the singing voice was obviously his. It was a judgement no one needed talent to make.

Also, Virgil knew this play. He knew who Roman was in this play. He couldn't NOT figure it out.

Whichever friend was playing Marvin started singing about being an idiot, but he wasn’t paying attention. He just kept staring at Roman, on the side, watching Marvin, still in character. Obviously. This was Roman. He had enough acting focus for all the people in this room, and then some.

When Roman actually stood up and started having an actual singing part in “Thrill of First Love,” Virgil nearly died.

"Shall we head out for chocolate?" Logan suggested.

Neither Patton nor Virgil was one to turn down chocolate.

They exited the theater, and were overwhelmed instantly by the crowds you only seem to find during intermission: every single one desiring candy, not enough time for everyone to be fortunate enough to get some.

It was quite overwhelming, and Virgil decided that Logan and Patton could be left alone for the sake of him getting a moment of relief.

"I'm going to hide over there, can you get me some MNMs?" He asked. “I’m just gonna get away from people for a little bit.”

Patton nodded, and Virgil took that as his cue to leave.

He walked away, dodging crowds and clumps of clustered humans, huddled together so as not to lose each other. He did his best to avoid contact with them; fleeting touches were hard to deal with emotionally. He managed to make it to the bathroom, where he figured he could be alone for a few moments.

Virgil stepped into the bathroom, and collided with a blur of a person.

“Oh, pardon me!”

“It was my fault.”

Virgil separated himself from the stranger, and made it a full 5 seconds before halting.

“...wait...”

He spun around at the same time as the “stranger”. His green-brown eyes were wide with surprise and recognition.

“Roman?”

“Virgil?”

“Oh my gosh it’s you!” Virgil exclaimed, eyes widening even more than he’d thought possible. Roman ran at him and wrapped him in a huge hug. Virgil hugged back, burying his head in Roman’s shoulder as he did his very best to hold back tears.

He was not prepared for this.

When they finally separated, they each kept their hands on the other’s shoulders, not ever wanting to let go of each other, even for a moment. They just looked at each other for a full one minute, not sure what to say.

“You’re still in costume,” Virgil said.

“You’re still wearing that same hoodie you always are,” said Roman, and hearing his voice and touching him and seeing him talk and him being right there, right now was just too much.

“Please tell me I’m not the only one on the verge of tears here, because if I’m the only one crying, it will be really bad.”

“Are you kidding?” Roman laughed. “If I smudge my stage makeup, I’m gonna be really upset, and so will everyone else in this gosh darn ding dang show, but they’ll just have to deal with it because I just saw my gosh darn ding dang boyfriend for the first time, in real life, so heck yeah I’m gonna cry!”

“Oh thank goodness you’re gonna cry too, I’m gonna return to Logan and Patton with smudged eyeliner and they’re gonna be so confused.”

They both laughed, wiping at their eyes. When they finally calmed down, they just kind of stared at each other some more, drinking each other in.

Roman was the one to break the silence. “Oh, here!” He fished around in his pocket. “I accidentally put the eyeliner in my pocket instead of back in the makeup bag,” he explained. “Can’t do anything about the eyeshadow, but from your selfies, I’m pretty sure at least some havoc there is normal.”

Virgil snorted. “Alright. Eyeliner me up.”

Eyeliner him up Roman did. A few moments later and Virgil had wings so sharp they could cut a man.

“There!” Roman exclaimed when done. “Your makeup-strewn beautiful mess of a face is no longer makeup-strewn!”

“Wow, thanks.”

He suddenly realized that Roman had not pulled back, and was still very much in Virgil’s space bubble. Normally the space bubble was a holy, sacred space. This was not one of those times.

They were staring at each other. Virgil could see the flecks of gold in the depths of Roman’s eyes.

He was truly extraordinary.

Finally, Virgil had had enough, and pulled Roman in by the face. Their lips met with all the pent-up passion of many months of desire. He was filled with a kind of happiness and love he'd never even thought possible.

Inevitably, regretfully, they parted. Both faces were flushed. Cheeks were very red beneath white foundation (Virgil) and loads of stage makeup (Roman).

"Ah, shoot!" Roman cursed. "I must take my leave—I must be behind the stage by the time intermission is almost over. They only let us out for bathroom breaks, and even then time is tight. My apologies, Virgil."

"I get it, Ro. The show needs you." Part of Virgil wanted to scream 'but I want you to stay here with me!', but he couldn't make himself do it. Also, his brain was short-circuiting a little. He had kissed Roman. Roman had kissed him. His brain would never work right again.

"I shall see you in a bit, then!" Roman kissed his cheek quickly, and the space where his lips touched was suddenly the place where his blood wanted to be at this moment. "Or rather," continued Roman, "you'll see me." He winked.

"Uhh," Virgil said, very intelligently.

"See you later, alligator." Roman swished out of the room with a flourish he was certainly quite proud of.

"Uhh, crocodile."

He was ruined. Ruined.

When he got back to his friends (whose hair was not as neat as it once was, but if you thought Virgil was going to point that out, you also probably thought the Percy Jackson movies were good), any hope of them not noticing his slightly messed-up makeup was shattered.

"What happened to your face?" Patton asked.

"Um, so I think I just saw Roman."

Logan tilted his head. "How do you know?"

"I made out with him in the doorway to the bathroom."

Patton squealed. "Wait, really?!"

"Why and how would I make this up?!"

Patton made some more incoherent excited noises. Logan cleared his throat.

"You were sure it was him, correct?"

"Don't worry, I didn't kiss some random stranger. He was in costume too. And he looked exactly like Roman. And sounded like him. And talked like him."

"If it looks like a tomato, smells like a tomato, sounds like a tomato, it's an orange!" Patton said.

"That's... not how it goes..." Logan sighed. "You're lucky I love you."

Patton smiled and leaned his head on Logan's shoulder. "Love you too, honeybee."

"I feel like I'm intruding," said Virgil. "Should I maybe leave?"

That's when the lights dimmed again. Apparently not.

The curtains parted, and there stood Mendel, waiting to begin the second act.

“Homosexuals!”

Mendel was pointing at them. He was freaking pointing his little airplane guide things at them.

Did he know anything?

Mendel winked at them before continuing.

Curse you, Roman.

The rest of the show went quite smoothly (and bonus, Virgil learned just how attractive Roman was with sunglasses: very attractive indeed). By the end, Patton, the only one who didn't know what was coming (Virgil was a theatre nerd and Logan was the brother of another), was sobbing openly. Virgil was, for the first time, grateful for his earlier cry. It helped to hide the tears streaking down his face at the moment. Even Logan was trying to hide that he, too, had shed more than a single tear. Lo, you good ol' liar.

Roman’s voice was beautiful, as usual.

Even when what he was singing was heartbreaking.

Many tears were shed that night.

By the time the show was done, and the cast ran out for bows, there wasn’t a dry eye in sight. A roar of applause sounded around the theatre, and Virgil could feel his hands hurting from clapping so hard. One person stood up. Then another. A tidal wave of people rose to their feet, and Virgil was among them. He couldn’t have resisted if he wanted to.

In the spotlight, Roman seemed to thrive on the cheers and applause of the audience. He had never looked better, more comfortable in his own skin (which was ironic, because he was just acting).

He was, simply, stunning.

The journey from the theatre to the overcrowded hallway was a blur of wow. Logan and Patton were chatting (read: consoling Patton as he sobbed into Logan’s shoulder), but Virgil was in a daze and didn’t pay attention.

He certainly rectified that when he saw a specific, familiar grin and eyes like the prized jewels of power in some fantasy novel.

“ROMANNNNNN!!!!!” Patton ran and hugged Roman, then was confused when no one else joined him.

“Am I the only one?”

Logan cleared his throat. “I’ve known him long than any other combination of two people here have known each other.”

“And I just met him for the first time. Sorta kinda.” Virgil thought for a moment. “Is it the first time? Or not? How does this work?”

“You cannot fool me with the play I just starred in!” Roman smirked. “Oh, also, who knows? I certainly do not.”

“You know nothing.”

Roman let out an offended noise. “Rude!”

Virgil snorted. “What else is new?”

Roman looked him up and down slowly. “For once, the fact that you are actually here, in person.”

“What are you going to do with me now that I’m here?” Virgil asked.

He was answered with a smirk. “Well, first—”

“You’re going to accompany us to the nearest restaurant,” Logan interrupted, “where we will have a nice dinner, free of any icky romantic-type shenanigans. After that, you are free to do as you wish, without informing me about it, and certainly without me right here. Witnessing it. With my eyes. Which need bleach now.”

“Any romantic shenanigans?” Patton and Roman asked, for completely different reasons.

“Any. At all.”

“Pretty sure you don’t really think you can stop them…” Virgil pointed out.

Logan sighed. “I am aware. However, that will not prevent me from trying.”

“Fair enough.”

Roman raised his hand. “I vote Crunchy & Emerald!” He fingergunned at Virgil. “I hear the mac n cheese is excellent there.”

“Oy vey.” Despite his words, Virgil was smiling, and his tone was fond.

“Sounds good to me!” Patton nodded.

Logan shrugged. “Why not?”

Roman extended his arm to Virgil. It was a very olden-timey gesture. It was also adorable. “We never did finish that game of 20 questions, did we?”

Virgil grinned, taking his boyfriend’s arm. “That is indeed not something that we did.”

“I believe it’s your turn to ask a question.”

“Nah. Can you start?”

“I will gladly do that, love.”

“Shall we?”

“We shall.”

———————

Disneynbroadwaynprinces posted:

OF SEA AND SHORE

Summary: Xaer, heir to the mer kingdom, wished for more than a life of sitting (or hovering above) a throne. Vect, prince of the mainland, wanted adventure and exploration. Peri just wanted a nap in the seaweed.

Word count: 34716

Warnings: Drowning (or rather, almost-drowning), water, sharks, blood in said water, a gigantic octopus lady

A/N: At Last, posting time has arrived! I have waited anxiously for the time to come to share this with you, and now you can see for yourself! Art by my lovely boyfriend and partner for the Bang, @AnxiousAnxietyArt , is here! Enjoy!

It was all quiet under the cover of night and dark waters.

———————

Anxiousanxietyart posted a photo/photos:

here’s the art for the starbound big bang. My partner was @disneynbroadwaynprinces , and his fic can be found here.

———————

EPILOGUE

When Virgil went to ring the doorbell, he almost hesitated. For the first time since Roman and Logan had taken a trip 3 months ago to go see about 10 million musicals in New York and summer break ended, Virgil was going to see his boyfriend again. What if Roman didn't still love him? What if he was possessed? What if he got SQUIPped over the summer? What if—

Patton pushed the doorbell with enough enthusiasm and energy to power China for three years.

Okay then.

Virgil had just enough time to wonder why the doorbell was apparently the "Ma-na-ma-na" song from The Muppets (possibly from Patton messing with it) when the door opened and a very familiar voice yelled his name.

"VIRGIL!"

He was pulled into a tight embrace by his boyfriend. Virgil hugged Roman tight, ignoring the tears leaking past his eyelids. He was barely aware of Patton edging past him to greet Logan. You do that, Patton. I'll just stay right here.

"I missed you," Virgil whispered.

"I missed you too," replied Roman, dipping Virgil and kissing him passionately (like everything else he did). Any stray ends of thought that may have been there instantly vanished, gone into the void. There was only Roman, the reality of him, he who lives in fantasy. His chest filled with a jumble of emotions, and for once he didn't try to repress them.

When they finally broke apart, both were content to stand there, basking in the presence of each other. Neither wanted to break the silence.

"So, we watching this thing or not?" Virgil said finally. There would be plenty of time for saying all that needed to be said, doing all that needed to be done, all of that later.

"Not so fast, mister." Roman looked stern, but also like he wanted to laugh. "Where's that art you promised me?"

"Aren't I art enough?" Virgil joked.

"Well, yes, but a promise is a promise! Fulfill your oath, or you shall feel my wrath!"

"Spicy."

"What??"

"Nothing." Virgil reached into his bag and brought out a piece of paper that had been looked at many times over the course of the last month.

Roman stared at it. It was an image of the day the two had met the first time, Roman onstage, in his costume, radiant. He was utterly spectacular. In the spotlight, he seemed to glow.

“I—Virgil, this is…”

“Full of mistakes and terrible line art, yes, I know.”

“Shut up!” Roman’s face was very, very red. Normally, Virgil would have teased him, but something stopped him. Maybe it was the expression on Roman’s face, maybe it was how he turned to look at Virgil, maybe it was the star struck look in his eyes, maybe it was—

Maybe it was the fact that Logan chose to speak up just then.

"Come over here, you horrifyingly sappy gays! It’s starting!" Logan was standing on the doorway, arms crossed as he looked at the pair. They jumped apart, surprised, the drawing fluttering to the floor. It landed face-up.

"Rude!" Roman yelled back.

Virgil placed his arm on Roman’s shoulder. “Come on. Let’s go join the others.”

Roman nodded. “Alright. Let’s go.”

They walked over to join a frantically-bouncing-up-and-down Patton on a couch with Logan, who looked extremely calm for the situation.

Roman settled himself on a comfortable armchair. Virgil perched on the armrest of said armchair.

"Why are you on the armrest?" Roman asked. “You're not an arm. You would be the blue lion, if anything. You’d be a leg. The leg of Voltron, but still a leg.”

Virgil rolled his eyes. "Because places that aren't meant to be sat on are always more comfortable than regular chairs. Duh."

“Oh, of course.”

Patton bounced even higher and faster, if that was possible. “Come on come on come ooooonnnnnn! Starbound is here!!!”

Logan stared at his boyfriend, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Did you happen to have any sugar within the last 24 hours?”

“...maybe…”

Virgil sighed. “I told you not to, Pat!”

“But there were MnMs! I had to have the MnMs!” Patton protested, not slowing down in his frantic movements.

Logan kissed his cheek. “Patton, I love you, but that was a very illogical decision.”

“I knoooowwwww, but MnMs!”

“There is only one way to resolve this conflict!” Roman declared. He ran into the other room, returning a minute later with a bag full of marshmallows.

“Ro, what the heckety heck are you doing?” Virgil asked.

“We must ALL eat excessive amounts of sugar in order to have Patton be less hyper by comparison!” He ripped open the bag and tossed a marshmallow into his mouth with ease.

Logan raised his hand. “That would be not only quite damaging to your health, but also illogical.” Logan walked over to Roman and stuck his hand into the marshmallow bag, grabbing a large handful.

“I cannot allow you and Virgil to consume this entire bag. It would be bad. Also, the fact that the amount of sugar in a few MnMs is quite different to the amount of sugar in marshmallows is quite different. To even it up more, we must all eat marshmallows.”

He stuffed the entire handful of gooey marshmallows into his face.

Well.

Virgil burst out laughing as Roman stood there, looking scandalized at the actions of Logan. “How dare?”

Patton made grabby hands. “Can I have some marshmallows?”

Logan grabbed one (prompting more protests from Roman) and gave it to his boyfriend. They all settled back down in their seats, prepared for what was coming.

Khoshekh ran into the room, meowing. He made a flying cat leap onto Virgil’s lap, purring contentedly. How he perched there when Virgil was sitting on the edge of a chair, no one knew. He was a cat. Cats make their own rules.

Logan, who was (after a unanimous decision) in control of the remote, set up the TV. A few minutes later, everything was up and running and ready.

Virgil put his arm around his boyfriend and cuddled him close. “Ironic, isn’t it?” He laughed softly. “This is what brought us all together.”

Roman leaned into Virgil’s touch. “Yeah. To think that we’re here now, it feels… right.” He kissed his boyfriend’s cheek.

Patton paused his bouncing long enough to nod excitedly in agreement  and give Logan a long hug. Logan closed his eyes and attempted to kiss Patton, but by then he’d resumed his bouncing.

“I can’t believe Logan is dead,” Roman whispered in his ear.

Virgil shook his head. “Rip Logan. He will be missed.”

Logan the corpse leaned over to punch Roman’s shoulder. “Shut up.”

“Shutting up now, sir.” Roman smirked and pantomimed zipping his lips.

“Let’s watch this thing!” Patton exclaimed, making grabby hands for the remote. If Logan didn’t start it soon, he would do it himself.

Lo finally managed to kiss Patton’s cheek. “Alright, let us begin.”

He pressed play.

[weretheoneswhowrite]

Questions Answered....

With multiple stories under her belt @dimples33 truly has something for everyone. From the priesthood hotness of Rick in Sin to the gorgeous princess Michonne in Something New and a whole host of others in between, you won't be disappointed reading through her story list.

Let's find out how it all started and what she has in store for the future.

Why is Richonne so fun to write about?

“Richonne is so fun to write about because they are the first and only TV couple that I’ve been so invested in. I had never heard of ‘shipping’ before that but when I got familiar with the term no other TV couple came close to their unique dynamic. Michonne is the Ying to Rick’s Yang. She is able to reach Rick even in his murderous mode and can talk him down from any cliff while Rick seeks Michonne’s counsel and approval when he has to make critical decisions and listens to her. I watch a lot of TV shows and I have yet to see that kind of energy with any other TV couple.”

Do you have a writing schedule?

“Because of my heavy workload during the week I tend to write/update and possible try to post on weekends. If I’m not satisfied with my writing progress on weekends I will try to squeeze in a couple hours at night before bed. However, when I actually have a schedule I never follow it. Lol!!!”

What is your editing process?

“Write, read, edit, put down for a couple days, re-read, edit and put down for a couple days again. When I feel flustered one of my cousins who like my stories reads them and helps me edit as well.”

What drew you to fanfiction?

“It’s more like who for me and it’s one word….severelybabykryptonite. I was randomly searching the internet when I came across the story ‘The Sweetest Thang’ by @severelybabykryptonite aka SBK. It was such a beautiful love story. I followed the link to fanfiction.net. I will never forget that day – May 2nd 2016. That day changed me. I have been writing stories since I was a child but never even entertained the thought of actually putting it out there for anyone to read. My family didn’t even know that I wrote in my spare time. That day means everything to me. Thank you SBK.”

What has writing fanfiction taught you about being a writer?

“That I should believe in myself more. I was terrified when I posted the first chapter to my first fanfiction TWD Chronicles and almost got a heart attack when the first review came in just an hours later. The more I post chapters and the more reviews came in, my confidence grew. I realized that I do have something to offer however small it is.”

Who outside the fandom knows you write fanfiction?

“Exactly four people – my cousin who helps me edit sometimes, my niece, a former law classmate and her sister.”

How many people know you’re a writer?

“One person – my cousin who helps me edit. I don’t get many opportunities to talk about my writing unfortunately.”

Where do you see your writing taking you?

“For now, it’s for my own pleasure but hopefully in the near future to write full time. Having one of my stories turned into a Netflix series or Hollywood movie would be nice.”

Do you have advice for writers just starting out?

“I follow four simple principles - i) Always put your best foot forward in everything you do, ii) Don’t try to please everyone because it’s not physically, mentally or emotionally possible, iii) Be respectful and most importantly, iv) Just do you and be yourself.”

What do you wish you knew before posting your first chapter?

“OMG!! The editing process!! I wish I knew more about the editing. It would have made things a lot easier.”

How many writing playlist do you have? Does your music have to change with what you write?

“I don’t have a playlist and I usually don’t listen to music when I write. Most times I’m sitting on the floor in the living room with the TV on in the background or I’m on the bed with my cat purring and massaging my back!! Lol”

How many projects do you have going on right now?

“I have 9 fanfiction stories, some of which needs updating like asap. As for original works, I have several. However, right now I am focusing mainly on three which I hope to launch on my website next year. I’m working eagerly towards that goal. My fingers and toes are crossed.”

Have you ever written a scene that made you cry?

“The scene in my story Mirror when Michonne was running down the street barefoot behind the van that kidnapped her daughter broke me. I remember writing and my chest was constricting and my hands were trembling. I needed some time off after writing that chapter. Then in Journey when those racist pricks threw garbage on Michonne when Rick was buying her ice-cream, I cried. That was hard to write.”

Where do you get your best story ideas?

“I know this might sound crazy and sometime I think I am but I see stories everywhere. I see stories sitting in the bus, walking down the street, or just gazing at the trees. I got a few ideas in the bathroom and sometimes in the middle of the night. I would jump up and write them down before I forget.”

Do you have a solution for when you’re stuck?

“When I get stuck I just stop writing for a few weeks if necessary. I don’t try to force the creative process. I personally can only write for three days or so at a time producing three or four chapters before spacing out. Or sometimes I will pull a fierce 24 hours stretch of non-stop writing then stop. I don’t want to overload myself. It happened to me before and it’s not a nice feeling”

What does WTOWW mean to you?

“WTOWW means the world to me. @msjrichonne actively sought me out and extended an invitation to me to join the group. She was persistent and I’m having no regrets accepting. I got to meet heavy weight writers like Siancore, @foxissofoxy and @sophiasown just to name a few. I’ve never been part of a group like this and quite frankly, I’m honoured to be just in.”

Thank you Dimples for sharing some insight about you as a writer.

-We’re The Ones Who Write

[bi-dazai]

15 yr olds on this site really go around totally unsuspicious of fictional media discussing gayness or including gay characters huh

idk about you but i was born in 2000 and my entire life i dealt with blatantly homophobic media (power puff girls is one example!) and intense queerbaiting coupled with homophobic plotlines (supernatural, the 100). i had to ferret around the internet desperately to find a shitty copy of a somewhat decent film involving gayness that wasnt something like philadelphia or debs or rocky horror. when i was struggling the most with coming to terms with my bisexuality was around the period of 2010-2015. during that time antibisexual sentiment was incredibly high (this was when the post-myspace backlash of bisexuality and the rise of mogai and pansexuality came about). every time a tv character was announced to be gay (extremely rarely) they were killed off or forced into homophobic plotlines and stereotypes within episodes. they were the butt of jokes, fandom and the world made fun of them to hell. our expectations for gay representation were extremely low, to the point that we were happy with the kill your gays trope because at least we got screentime. 

korrasami was the breaking point of all this. since then, the media has been much more inclusive and receptive to actual gay criticism and queer theory (as flawed as it is). a children’s show with a massive fanbase made their two female protagonists of colour bisexual and in a romantic relationship. this was huge. this is the best gay representation to date in children’s media. the backlash was still huge, and even more chose to ignore it and pretend it wasnt canon, despite the creators and writers specifying in interviews almost immediately that it was, and that nickelodeon had in fact forced them to cut a kiss scene.

but nothing has really changed. even if there is slightly more gay representation, even though our criticisms are now part of the public conscience, what has changed in western media really? gay representation is white and middle class and vague. it’s liberal, it never depicts any form of the community that is so important to gay film as an establishment, never depicts proper homophobia. it is safe and consumable for homophobes. it’s straight gayness. films such as love, simon and call me by my name depict sanitised, and even homophobic depictions of gayness. it’s hollywood gayness.

queerbaiting still exists - for example, the voltron reboot frequently hinted at lance’s bisexuality and keith’s gayness, constantly foreshadowing a romantic relationship (and yes, there is proof for this. analysing the show and looking at interviews from the time, as well as looking at the complaints about the showrunners from the writing staff in particular who specified that they did not allow the writers to plan a plot and anything that had the potential of upsetting their ratings and upstanding with dreamworks higher-ups were quickly cut - this makes it clear that something was going on there), constantly talking about it with fans, only to have this foreshadowing, the various promises to the community, fall away. shiro was revealed to be gay, a teaser trailer showed him with his boyfriend. in the actual series, the boyfriend got less than a minute of screentime and was killed immediately. shiro, an asian gay man, was made into torture porn. this is queerbaiting and a homophobic trope as well. 

ive seen this with innumerous shows as well. gay characters are introduced as a grab for a larger audience and free advertising via people discussing the show on the internet. 

so yes. on the surface, it seems that things have changed. younger people are being told that gay media is the norm, that we are living in good times, and they are being taught queer theory criticism of media via a hollywood and social media lens.

but beneath? nothing has changed. i still get twinges of fear when hollywood and netflix try to appeal to gay audiences. i still dont trust the representation they provide. i am still ferreting about the internet to find a copy of an independent film. i am still watching the same four gay films. 

it sounds strange when i say that i hate gay representation. but this is what i am referring to - hollywood representation, netflix representation. 

i have seen a strange gap in ages and response to gay representation in hollywood and netflix productions. young people who were born after about 2003/04 are the current main targets of most hollywood gay representation. korrasami became canon when they were just 10 years old. this cultural shift happened before they were old enough to truly realise what was happening. and with no one discussing just how big that cultural shift was and has been, there is no consideration for their own past that can take place within their own thoughts. it is normal for a tv show to have a gay character and so long as that character isnt killed off they’re happy. ive seen this sad trend of young teenagers consuming characters and representations of sexuality like this with total happiness. even some of the smartest, most media-critical kids ive ever met still engaged with love,simon with complete and utter praise. 

but to those born before, we grew up with something different. shows like the powerpuff girls had transphobic depictions. gayness was reserved for adult, latenight shows like the l-word. homophobic and transphobic punchlines were the norm. lesbian was ugly or a porn category. bisexual was unheard of - our flag was only designed in the very late 1990s. or we were whores. for a moment in the mid-2000s we were celebrated in teenage underground movements such as scene, punk, emo, etc. but by the early 2010s we were being named as affronts to the lgbt community (once again). transgenderness was completely reviled (still is). we were queerbaited and slandered and hated by hollywood

ten years later we are said to be “welcomed” in media. but i feel no difference. i am still suspicious and bitter and disappointed and disgusted. i dont feel welcomed nor celebrated. i still feel disgusted with myself and i still feel hollow and hated - because i am. we are. hollywood is not your friend. it never has been. representation is a cash grab.

[kendricksendrick]

im such a bitch heres some fun facts about me

how tall are you?

5 foot 2ish

what is your body type?

ex-gymnist who wakeboards a lot

what is your favorite part about your body?

um my boobs i guess idk

is your current hair color your natural hair color?

currently dirty blonde but once summer/vacation comes around my hair will go black to bleach blonde on its own

are you more outgoing or more shy

im quiet

are you more femme or butch?

femme

are you tol or smol?

smol bean

wine mom or vodka aunt?

vodka aunt

weird habit?

need chapstick 24/7

favorite meme?

bon apetit

do you sing in the shower?

i used to but now i just have therapy with myself

ever used a bow and arrow?

nope

are/were you a theatre kid?

yes haha

have you ever seen a broadway musical?

i want to!!

do you think musicals are cheesy?

no wtf i was just in one yesterday it was amazing

have you ever been a part of a protest or a march?

no

favorite Cards Against Humanity Card?

all of them also this just reminded me im gonna buy this game 

last movie you watched?

monsters in lol

behind the camera or in front of it?

behind

favorite tv show?

30 rock

meaning behind your url

it came to me randomly

reason you joined tumblr

in 7th grade my friend told me it was cool and here i am 5yrs later with like 4 blogs

who’s your closest tumblr friend?

my irl friend alex

what’s something most people love that you hate?

kim k

have you ever taken narcotics?

no

have you had sex?

i wish 

have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

never caught :)))

worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told?

funniest lie is that im straight lol

describe your passion without mentioning it.

its all with our mouths ;)

describe your best friend.

cute, funny, dumb asf, the best

give us one thing about you that no one knows.

im an open book just ask and i will tell

how do you feel right now?

tired and hungry

what is your biggest fear?

alone forever also sleep paralysis

what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

gold mine by colbie calliat idk how to spell it

what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far?

saying no balls to myself and stalking through instagrams on a 3hr car ride to find my girl and the her snap and then sayying no balls and snapping her :))

have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end?

currently putting forth minimum effort i have senioritis

something you fantasize about.

kiss my gorl

last time you cried and why

last night or maybe it was this morning? i was doing the 24hr musical at my school (we have 24hrs to put together an ENTIRE musical and all $ goes to charity!) but i cried from laughing so hard doing yoga

what was the last thing that made you laugh?

the 24 hr musical

do you really, truly miss someone right now?

grandmaaa

who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

my church gc bc we the true ho(e)mies

the last time you felt broken?

idk like a week ago

are you starting to realize anything?

ya actually maybe im just a lesbian and not bi who knows

are you more dominant or more submissive?

sub i think

i’ll only date you if _____. (fill in the blank)

you make me smile

do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older?

same age

describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail.

great detail lets go!

shes in my grade bu9t goes to a different school but her hair is short like mine but darker and shes tanner than me and taller but just by a little bit! she has really nice eyes and a good smile and is sososo sweet no matter what stupid thing i say to her and i miss her a lot i wanna cuddle with her and i when we go on our next date catch me cuddling with her no matter what and she is in band too but going to college way far away in the fall so we will both be sad bois then but its okay because we have all summer to  hang out and cuddle and be something did i mention she is pretty af

do you have any kinks?

no

first thing you notice in a person?

tbh if they smell good and teeth

how can someone win your heart?

call me pretty

been rejected by a crush?

haha yes but its okay guys

have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?

no but vice versa so thats super awkward

would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

no

is trust a big issue for you?

i just want the truth

did you hang out with the person you like recently?

is november for 2hrs considered recent ;(

is confidence cute?

YES

what would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

happy 4 u 

would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

no lol

does the person you have feelings for right now know you do?

yes she does

ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

got my car stuck in the mud infront of hher on our first date

do you want to get married

yes!

worst thing you’ve ever done?

been a big bitch

three things that turn you on.

being called babe/baby, being teased, and idk

who do you hate?

lowkey one of my super lose friends oops

favorite term of endearment?

love

who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening?

ANNA KENDRICK GOD DAMN

intimidating girls or kind girls?

kindddd

what do you look for in a possible partner?

nice to me

do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls?

i do not know ive only really ever liked one girl and also my straight best friend bc im a dumb bitch

are you good at flirting?

tbh no

who was the first person you came out to?

my church gc

do you have any friends who are wlw?

YEs!

is your crush wlw?

ye

last person to make you reconsider your sexuality?

the boy who asked me to prom has me thinking am i bi or lesbooo

write a short love poem to your crush/self?

sweet are your eyes like honey in the sun

you make me smile

do you fall in love easily?

no

is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

that time i was a big boi bitch to a girl 

are you good at hiding your feelings?

ha no

are you a forgiving person?

yes

what is your “type?”

good question

fall asleep in her arms or rub her back until she falls asleep in yours?

probs fall asleep on her

tall girls or short girls?

taller than mee

hugs or kisses?

kiss!

twirl her around or get twirled?

TWIRL HER THAT WOULD BE SO CUTE

tummy kisses or thigh kisses?

ooh both

hairline kisses or neck kisses?

neckk

play with her hair or stroke her tummy?

both

making out or soft kisses?

soft kisses 

hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist?

NECK OO

how confident are you in your sexuality?

haha good one im happy with who i am tho!

when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach?

butterflies to the maxx

have you ever liked a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them?

like(d) my straight best friend and will not be telling her that lol

my girl tho i def told her ;))

how old were you when you realized you were into girls?

16ish id say

most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl?

so many things everything i do is embarassing

do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon?

BECHLOE!

what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality?

every word about lgbt that comes out of my mothers mouth since i am not out to her and now not planning on it for a very long time bc shes a big ignorant bitch!!

when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter?

haha good question idk

what is love to you?

ALWAYS putting others before you no matter what

ask me anything.

i will answer do it no balls

[laurenzimmer-blog]

Colds and Cupcakes and Everything In-Between

I’ve noticed lately that I am very happy to be alive. This could be because I’ve had seven colds this year.

My doctor has reassured me over multiple visits to her office that I am fairly healthy. I have also been told I can get sick multiple times throughout one year and that I don’t need an IV of Airbourne hooked up to me constantly. And yet, her kindness and accuracy has not stopped me from googling my symptoms and literally drinking elixirs with oregano oil in them. I never learn.

Being sick this year, though, has made me think of death quite often. I don’t think of that negatively, I promise. I am, however, more curious why there is no registry for funerals. I understand people are “dead” and cannot haunt their wishes through a Target ad. I am also aware people have trusts and wills, but all joking aside, I would like something special for my funeral. I think I’d like to force everyone to dance to ABBA and for my ashes to be spread off the coast of California. Again, I do not hope to die any time soon. But as I’ve battle several viruses this year I’ve had these thoughts, especially when I binge watch TV shows I told myself I’d never re-watch. Regardless, yes, I am very happy to be alive.

I’ve noticed I’m getting older. I look seventeen, but cannot seem to sleep past 7 A.M. I am not a morning person, and will never be a morning person, but I wake up at 7 A.M. on the weekends. This is usually followed by my internal debate to drink coffee, even though it will kill my stomach. I am then reminded my stomach sensitivity issues are a sign of me aging. I’m not sure if my latest development of waking up at 7 A.M. is a sign to enjoy my youth. It’s probably a reminder that sleep is an essential part of health, and that I am exhausted from having a full time job, but it’s nice to think in metaphors.

Adulthood has been interesting. Twenty was filled with joy and innocence. Twenty-one was filled with debates and anxiety. Twenty-two was filled with depression and finally a sense of hope. And twenty-three was filled with resilience and some laziness, to be quite honest. I am now twenty-four. There have been many debates with my friends if twenty-four is part of the “mid-twenties” range. I am still unsure if it is, but it sounds different. It sounds less perky than twenty-one, but still far away from thirty. There’s a certain mature quality to the number, I think. I am not 100% established in my career, nor life, but I’d argue I have at least lived some. I hate saying this because it makes me sound like I understand life completely, and that only my problems are grand, but I have lived some. I do feel older. And for the first time in a few years, I am extremely grateful to be alive. And really, that’s all I could ever want.

Growing up will always be messy. That’s the simplest way to put it. This concept is what philosophers have debated for centuries. I am not telling anyone anything new here. Some will argue it is fate that makes life messy and others will argue it is by choice. Some will say it is because God has given him or her a path. And some will say it is because of his or her zodiac sign, especially exhibited here in Los Angeles on Sunset Boulevard. I am unsure, personally, why “life is messy,” but I do know it is. But I also know that I can easily get distracted by the mess instead of focusing on the small glimpses of, well, joy.

Nothing is ever satisfying, but it does not mean I cannot enjoy glimpses of satisfaction. It sounds stupid, I know. It’s a broad sentence, similar to comparing life to infinities, and how certain infinities are better than others. I won’t dive into it too much. But I think life is full of unsatisfying events and it is extremely difficult to admit life is satisfying all the time. I think it’s good to have goals and to achieve goals. I still do. But more than ever I am learning that my main goals may not be the most satisfying parts of life. What I’m trying to say beneath all  the (my) bull shit is that one goal is not going to make me happy and cause me to reach enlightenment, as though I have become a gypsy goddess who is probably high on Venice Beach. And I am learning to accept this throughout each goal I create for myself. I know this is where I should quote “it’s not about the journey, it’s about the destination” like some horrendous wooden sign in the bathroom of your aunt’s house that she got on sale at TJ Maxx. Yet, there is some heart behind the common phrase.

People love telling me what to do and maybe they are right. I am no help in this as I ask people to constantly debate my problems with me. However, since noticing I can easily think I am dissatisfied with most things, and take the opportunities I’ve been lucky enough to have, I don’t feel as worried anymore. I still worry often (I haven’t changed that much), but I really don’t worry as much. Granted, I am extremely fortunate even though my life has not turned out the way I expected. Again, I am falling into the trap of wondering if I am even satisfied with this fact, but I think I am. Well, I’m mostly satisfied. And that makes me happy.

It’s never wise to compare your behind the scenes to someone’s greatest hits. I know. 1. It sounds obvious and 2. I do this all the time as I scroll on Instagram, wondering if my impending arthritis will cause me to stop comparing myself to others. Maybe one day it will, and I don’t think I’ll ever truly stop, but it’s a nice reminder to know I have my own behind the scenes. It’s also nice to remember that someone has his or her own behind the scenes and that we don’t know exactly what our greatest hits will be. That is the most satisfying part of life, even if it might not have brought us the satisfaction we intended on seeing.

This year for my birthday I went roller skating. When I got to the roller rink in the depths of Glendale I waited in line. I saw a 90s themed birthday party filled with teens that dressed more like kids from the 90s than actual kids from the 90s, parents regretting taking their kids to a neighborhood roller rink, and children with sparkly, customized pink roller skates. After paying my fifteen dollars in cash I walked in, both impressed and confused that they were playing a Cher ABBA cover. I did not expect much. I just wanted to skate because I’m frankly good at skating and think it’s fun.

I put on my skates and was quickly greeted by boxes of cupcakes. And then I was greeted by hugs from ex frat bros. And then I was greeted by people from Texas I had not seen in months. We skated and drank after, as one does, at a brewery near train tracks. And by the time it was over, I walked back to my friend’s car, slightly tipsy, holding my two boxes of cupcakes. It was not the life I thought I’d have two years ago, nor am I doing what I originally thought I’d be doing. But I realized in that moment that perhaps I was almost completely satisfied. And it felt good.

In the car, I rested my head on the passenger window, listening to the latest Dirty Projector album. I held onto my cupcakes, debating if I should eat the funfetti one. I thought about the times I wanted to be a teacher, dancer, and zoologist. I thought about the times I was going to live in London or Washington D.C. I thought about the times I could have followed up with Michael Jackson’s old publicist after I ran into him at a random Halloween party two years ago or worked at an agency straight out of college. But there I was: a fresh twenty-four-year-old that still hated IPAs. But after all the thoughts I remember saying to my friend, “It doesn’t really matter because I feel loved.” It’s a vomit inducing statement, but one I feel proud of saying. One that tells me I’ve grown and that I think I am becoming the adult I want to be. An adult, behind all her anxiety, that is learning the small glimpses of satisfaction are a result of simply being happy to be alive, and perhaps, the result of revisiting roller skating after thirteen years. Maybe for once I am finally doing something right.