#we aint special... but we still hold weight

[actual-corpse]

Kentucky Gov Beshear says bill threatens ‘supreme authority’ | Lexington Herald Leader

https://www.kentucky.com/news/politics-government/article303330361.html

I'm not entirely sure what's going on, but a "libertarian-leaning" group (Americans for Prosperity, which has affiliated with a billionaire) is behind a lot of bullshit in many states and is currently stoking the flame war that is our Dem. Governor vs. our majority Rep. Legislature.

Like... This shit is frightening... Especially when Reps reveal just how stupid they think we are.

In a different article on the same subject, the director of AfP (a woman*) said, ". . . We await Beshear's resignation so that he may run for General Assembly in 2026"... which is really giving 'haha you're so triggered right now, haha did I offend you boohoo.' Like... They are trying to run this guy out of office by being as obtuse as possible.

*Republicans strongly believe that women should only ever exist and work in the house tending children. I experience schadenfreude every time a Republican woman gets fired for being a "DEI" hire... It's so stupid it could be funny if not for the entire world being at stake.

[dontexpecttomakesense]

I have words with the 4th season of Dragons: The Nine Realms

Once upon a time, we had How To Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World. It was the third installment of the HTTYD movie franchise, which by that time had already branched out to comicbooks, videogames even, and TV series.

At the end of HTTYD3 (let’s call it like this from now on because I aint typing all that every single time), Hiccup, our daring and gangly protagonist, parted ways with Toothless, the wrongly named Night Fury, so he, and all the other dragons could take refuge in the hidden world, safe from any human attack.

That was, at the time the ending to the franchise. The final scene of a last flight with Toothless and his progeny had an adult Hiccup and Astrid, as well as their children, was the melancolic send off.

(Yes I am aware of that Chirstmas special short, but it’s just there as a bonus and has basically no weight on the overall plot. Also I’m pretty sure it chronologically happens before the last scene.)

Then Dragons: The Nine Realms came along. A show set in modern times, taking off 1000 years later, and sequel to both Race To The Edge, the last TV series the HTTYD franchise had, and HTTYD3.

The Nine Realms, unfortunately, cannot hold candle to RttE, which by many (or at the very least me), is considered the height of the HTTYD franchise. It has subpar animation and mediocre writing, had it not been for the IP it was attached, it probably wouldn’t have taken flight. One of the things this show likes to do once per season, is totease the connection between our protagonists, Tom and Thunder, and their ancestors Hiccup and Toothless. On S1 we have the lightning mark Thunder makes on the wall, on S2 we have arrow tip, and at the end of S3 we have the mistrerious cylinder, all with the same dragon crest.

The we have S4 who blow it out of the park, by revealing that, at some point Hiccup had decended into the Hidden World, strongly impled to also have gone there with his family, and lived an unespecified amount of time in the realm where the Night Lights had eventually settled.

This is where the problems start.

Personally, I’m not a fan of HTTYD3′s ending, it’s contradictory to the franchises themes up until that point, and the movie itself does a very poor job of arguing why the dragons have to go away, and why Berk cannot follow where they go. But it was still, it was a conclusion. Hiccup’s story, and the story of the dragons, had concluded. There was nothing more to be told, and the only thing we could do was wait until history became legend, and legend became myth.

But now, turns out that wasn’t the ending of Hiccup’s story with the dragons. There was more. A story we don’t know yet, and that I assume we’ll be told in the future season of The Nine Realms.

So what kind of problems does this bring?

For one, it absolutelly kills any sort of emotional depth the last scenes of HTTYD3 has. The final goodbye between Hiccup and Toothless? What’s the point if he’ll go down there and meet him again a decade later? And Hiccup and his family lived some time in there. That means that to an extent, Berk could’ve gone and lived in there. Their coexistence with the dragons could’ve been possible, so the separation at the end of HTTY3 wouldn’t have been necessary to begin with.

Furthermore, Hiccup was the chief. Astrid was most likely the second in comand, and their children were on the line of succession. So if all of them went down the hole, who was left in charge? Snotlout? Fishlegs? Eret, son of Eret? Valka??? (was she even alive by then?) And that’s not to say that any of these characters wouldn’t have been able to lead New Berk, perhaps not as good as Hiccup, but they were not incompetent. The problem is how negligent is of Hiccup to just, go up and leave. He basically fored everyone and everything to move out to that new location, and now he just goes up and leaves.

Another problem, thought I will admit this is more personal, it the fact that it was just Hiccup (and his family) that got to go to the Hidden World and potentially reunite with his dragon. Why wouldn’t Snoutlout and Fishlegs deserve the same chance? Is not their relationship with Hookfang and Meatlug not as meaningful to them as Toothless was to Hiccup? The twins and Barf and Belch, whil not as develope did too have a meaningful relationship too. Valka and Cloudjumper have spent more time together than any other character, what about their relationship?

I know that to an extent HTTYD is the Hiccup and Toothless show, but the way sometimes the other riders and dragons relationships seem to be dismised is annoying.

I’m sure that the writter kind of expected us to excited at the prospect that Hiccup when there and explored more dragons. But when you sold HTTY3 like you did, when the ending of that movie marked the end of his story. You cannot just, undo it for convenience. You are going against what your own franchise has set up, how am I supposed to be impressed by anything you write if you deliverately go against the stablished canon so flippantly?

...

Well this is a wall of text long enough. Better leave it here.

[germvity]

RISES THE MOON

leon s kennedy x reader // 7 // wallflower blooming

"that felt really good..." you whisper, and he agrees. "i've been waiting to do that.." he admits with a small laugh. you giggle too, giving him another eskimo kiss as you coddle him close. "trials might start soon..." you say, glancing out the cracked window at the brightened (yet still dark) sky. "nah, we still have a while." leon grins, leaning in to give you a loving smooch. you hum happily, cupping his face as his tongue gently brushes against your bottom lip. "we have at least an hour.." leon trails off, and you catch his meaning immediately. "yeah, we do." you smile.

tags: smooching, a lot of it, relationship development, it aint official yet, leon being a good boy, mild crying

warnings: smexy time, leon giving head :), he just wants to pamper you, very much a people pleaser, me trying to write this as gn as possible without implying any genitalia <3, fingering, semi-public sex?? leon having a praise kink, leon being a sub bc ur welcome, blowjob and handjob for leon hc he's a good boy that deserves love

tag list:

@trinswhimsys , @hex-touchstarved <3

---

you felt safer in trials with leon. a special bond formed between the two of you after that night, and the entity only spawns you both together in trials. you were a team, and a powerful one. with you eliminating totems and any traps and leon pumping out gens and distracting the killer from you. the entity grows amused as it watches the killers scramble to combat your powerful strategies. leon huffs as he finds you at the gate, he left ghostface in the dust after you taught him how to evade them better. you grin at him, and he smiles, leaning in to give you a soft kiss as you open the gate. "thanks for getting rid of noed." he says softly as you grab his hands to pull him through the gate. "no problem, can't have the pretty boy dying." you tease as he rolls his eyes and follows you. "hey.." you say softly before the two of you leave. "hm? what's wrong?" leon stops too, letting you fiddle with his hands, a habit you picked up when you're nervous.

"what... what are we?" you ask quietly, and leon thinks for a moment. "what do you want us to be?" he asks, watching your face carefully. "i... don't know..." you whisper, letting him pull you into a hug. "well... i want us to be a thing, but i don't wanna push you." leon admits, and you nod. "i know.. but... it just doesn't feel real that someone as good as you likes me..." you sigh, resting your forehead against him as he holds you tighter. "nonsense, of course i do." he smiles, giving your forehead a soft kiss as the ground shakes. "c'mon, lets go before we get killed." he says softly, pulling you through the gate and into safety.

the two of you arrive at your shack, and you sigh as you flop down onto the bed. leon chuckles at your exhausted expression as he takes off his new jacket. "you alright?" he asks softly as he sits next to you. humming with a nod, and you take his hands in yours to fiddle with them idly. "what's up?" he asks, watching you play with his fingers. "hm?" your eyes find his, and he gestures to your joined hands with his head. "you normally do this when you're nervous. what's wrong?"

"nothing, just tired." you reply quietly, and leon hums. "alright.." he sounds unsure but lets it go as you pull one of his hands to your cheek. "i just like your hands." you admit, and he chuckles. "alright, i see that." leon's worry melts away and you smile. "what'cha thinking about?" you ask him softly, sitting up to look at him. "just what you said outside the gate." he replies, blushing slightly. "oh..." you huff, clambering into his lap to hug him. leon's arms wrap around your waist as he hooks his head on your shoulder. you nuzzle his neck, rubbing his back gently. "what do you want us to be?" he asks again, voice soft. "i... i do really want to be with you too... but i'm too scared." you admit, and leon hums. "you don't have to be scared." he replies softly, adjusting you in his lap so you were comfy. you sigh, closing your eyes as leon gives your cheek a soft kiss. "i'll always be here for you." the blonde assures you, and you hum. "i know. i'm just scared that i'll either lose you, or you'll change your mind." you say, your arms tightening on him.

"i'll never change my mind, you know that. and i'll never turn my back on you, or think any less of you. i'll be here." leon smiles, resting his head on yours. you sniffle slightly as you nod, "thank you... i just... after everything it feels so surreal that someone cares about me." you say softly, tears wetting his neck. "i know. it's hard to adjust to, but we're making progress." leon says, giving your head soft scratches to comfort you. you sigh, leaning onto him more, pinning him between the wall and your body. "tired?" he asks softly, and you shake your head no. "wanna go for a walk?" you sit back, waiting for his response. "sure, we can avoid the camps and go through one of the realms?" he suggests, and you nod. "the red forest is pretty, can we go there?" you ask softly, and leon chuckles with a nod. "sure, c'mon." he lets you pull him up from the bed and grabs his jacket and an offering on his way out.

your eyes find some fireflies that are floating near the gate. they're peaceful, and leon follows your gaze to the luminous bugs. "c'mon, i think theres a pond in a forbidden area. i used to hide there then get hatch in trails before i got a bit braver." you pull leon along by his hand. "what if it's been blocked off?" he suggests, and you hum in thought. "then we can sit in a quiet area." you smile and leon nods, "alright." the crack in the wall was boarded up, and you try pushing them. the bent nails creak under your weight as leon moves you out of the way. readying himself, his boot goes through the boards. you clap slightly, grinning at him. "that was hot." you tease, pulling the blushing blonde through the crack.

the pond is peaceful, and you sit happily next to the bank. leon joins you, watching you cradle a beetle before it jumps off and scurries away. "this is nice." leon smiles, and you nod. "i found it by accident, luckily it's in the corner so no one knows about it." you shrug, leaning against leon as he admires the clear water. "wanna bathe?" he asks teasingly, but freezes when you nod. "yeah, i'm covered in dirt." you laugh, standing to strip your dirty shirt off. you offer leon your hand, and he quickly takes it. you grasp his hands with both of yours, and it takes most of your weight to actually haul him up, it's cute.

leon lets you take off his jacket for him, and takes off his shirt. you admire a scar on his torso, fingertips rubbing his tender skin. "michael got you good, huh?" you mumble, and leon huffs out a laugh. "yeah, he did. he's surprisingly strong." leon shrugs, glancing to your lips out of habit. you catch his gaze, and lean in slightly. leon takes the invitation, kissing you lovingly as your hand tangles in his hair. his hands travel across the bare skin of your sides, and he deepens the kiss as you hum softly. your other hand stays on his chest as you lean closer to him, letting the officer rest his forehead against yours when he breaks away. "you're a really good kisser." he laughs sheepishly, and you smile, gifting him another soft peck. leon smiles, his finger tips slipping under the waistband of your pants. "can i?" he asks softly, ever the gentleman. you nod, helping him remove his pants as you give him another kiss.

you grin, and leon smiles too, but when you move him back he has to trust you. you giggle as you push him back and he hits the cold water with a gasp. "hey!" he laughs, splashing you with the water as you join him. "sorry, it was too tempting." you giggle, wrapping your arms around his neck as you give him a kiss as an apology. leon smiles into the kiss, his hand finding your back as he pulls you up against him. eventually, his lips find your neck and you hum softly at the feeling. "fuck.. can i make you feel good?" he asks softly against your skin. your thighs shuffle at the thought and you nod. "let me hear you, can i?" he asks again, wanting full consent (hot). "yes, you can." you smile, and leon grins, this time pushing you back to settle between your legs on the bank of the pond. you help him by removing your underwear for him.

he grips your thighs, and your fingers find his hair as he kisses your soft skin, fingers gently stroking your legs. you feel your arousal build, and you whine softly as he nips the flesh of your right thigh. "patience, i want you to feel good." he says softly, moving to pamper your left thigh as well. you huff, letting him lick a soft stripe along your skin and growing slightly frustrated when he pulls away. his teeth sink into your thigh and you moan softly as he suckles a dark hickey onto your skin. fingers tightening in his hair as he licks the bruise lovingly, you cant help but shuffle your hips to him. leon holds you in place as he leaves a bigger hicker further up your leg, before switching to give attention to your other thigh. you moan softly as his fingers begin to stimulate you, rolling your hips into his hand. leon chuckles into your thigh, the vibrations going straight through you as he moves his mouth to your sensitive area. you gasp, trying to push his head closer as he suckles you, fingers slipping to your hole to give you more pleasure. "oh, fuck! leon-" you whimper, grinding onto his face as you pet his hair. "good boy..~" you can't help but moan, and leon smiles against your lower area. "ahh- you're such a good boy, fuck.. that feels really good." you praise and it encourages him to try harder, desperate for your words of affirmation.

"leon!" you yelp, thighs wrapping around his head as his fingers prod that bundle of nerves. leon grins as he breaks away to give you a teasing lick. "f-fuck, please!" you whimper as his mouth covers you again, tongue kitten licking you. "you're doing so well, such a good boy for me.." you keen, back arching as your thighs tighten around his head, fingers gripping his blonde locks. "fuck, you look so pretty between my legs.~" you grin as he flusters, humming against your core. "keep going, you're doing so well." you encourage, and leon drags his tongue along you before going back for more. you groan as you thrust your hips into his mouth. leon hums again, fingers still pumping into you as his mouth does the rest. "you're so good." you moan, still trying to fuck his face as his hands can't find it in them to stop you.

leon whimpers against your pelvis, letting you practically take control as you grip his hair and roll your hips. "oh, good boy. so pretty as i fuck your pretty mouth." you grin, watching the tips of his ears turn red as he moans against you. "fuck, you're so pretty." you continue praising him, hips beginning to stutter as you grow closer. "mm, fuck i'm close. you're doing so well." you huff, using the hand on his head to help continue grinding into his mouth. you moan his name as you cum in his mouth, and leon shudders at the feeling of your fluid gushing onto his tongue.

pulling away, you watch the blonde swallow nicely and pulling you into his lap to coddle you. "good boy, you did so well.." you smile as leon giggles into your neck. "thank you..." he smiles, and you grin as you feel his erection. "want me to take care of you?" you ask softly, shuffling off his lap as he lets out a small hum. "hm? i can't hear you..." you tease as he gasps when your hand presses against his bulge. "yes, yes please!" he begs, letting you remove his boxers. the blonde whimpers as your hand wraps around his shaft, giving him a few pumps before you move down to lick his head.

"a-ah!" he yelps as your warm mouth envelopes his tip, trying not to buck his hips into you. you continue to pump his shaft, tongue teasing his slit. "p-please, i need more- pleasepleaseplease!" leon begs, moaning sweetly as you give him a soft suck. "please i need you!" he whimpers, letting you drape his thighs over your shoulders as he lays back. "shh, let me take care of you." you smile, going back down on him. "ah! you feel so good..!" he keens as your mouth moves down his shaft. the blonde yelps when your teeth gently scrape along his cock, and you hum softly, the vibration driving him crazy. his moans grow loud as his hand finds yours. tangling your fingers with his, you let him slowly roll his hips up into your throat as he whines.

the wind picks up familiarly, you pull off him much to his dismay. "shhh!" you hush him, and he whimpers softly. "a trial is starting, you don't want to get caught do you?" you grin as he shakes his head. "then be quiet, they won't know." you say before wrapping your mouth around him again. leon's free hand clasps over his mouth as he moans behind his palm. the humming of the huntress picks up, and so does leon's anxiety. his hand tightens on yours as you slowly drag your tongue up to his head. "it's okay.." you whisper to him, taking his other hand and holding that one as you go back down on him.

leon whimpers, feeling exposed as he clenches his jaw, trying not to make any noise. "fuck, y/n.." he whines, voice cracking as he tries to keep his noise below a whisper. you rub his knuckles sweetly as you bob your head at a steady pace. leon's back arches, and he whimpers softly, clearly yet slowly getting louder. you squeeze his hand to keep him grounded, and he squeezes back as your tongue teases a vein. leon's breathing hitches as you continue to pamper the prominent vein, popping off his cock to suckle it. "ah!" he yelps, and you pull away to hush him. "be a good boy, and stay quiet or they'll find us!" you whisper to him before lowering again.

the scream of meg makes leon wince, having almost completely forgotten that a trial was going on. "fuck, oh.. please." he mumbles desperately, trying to buck up into your mouth as his orgasm grows near. "ah ah ah, behave." you pull off him, and leon whines with want, not wanting to lose his high. you smile, moving your hand to massage his balls as your mouth engulfs his shaft. he claps his hand over his mouth, loud groans muffled. you tap his hand, and he nods. "so close, so close! please please please!" he keens, practically going feral as he tries to fuck into your mouth again. you decide he's been good, and let him take control slightly. tears of bliss drip from his lashes, and he fucks your mouth desperately, moaning behind his hand as he twitches then suddenly cums into your mouth.

"ah..!" he sighs, letting you off as you swallow. "good boy. you feel okay?" you ask softly, fingers tracing lines on his outer thighs. leon nods, drowsy from his intense peak. "good, this trial will probably last for a little while longer and i wanna see how many times i can make you cum." you grin as leon whimpers.

[s4ijoh]

heaven is a place on earth. atsumu miya

ATSUMU MIYA X GN! READER

GENRE: domestic; slice of life; just a comfort piece

WORD COUNT: 1.6k+

WARNINGS: established relationship; mentions of stress; atsumu is a tease (yes, it deserves a warning), + heavy imagery, i enjoy setting the mood

coming home to atsumu after an exhausting day…

you are greeted with a welcoming warmth engulfing your body once you step into atsumu’s apartment. it is rather quiet inside, other than the static buzzing noise coming from the living room at the end of the corridor - you remember atsumu complaining about how the television signal gets worse on days like this.

the homely environment felt inside the dimly lit apartment instantly comforts you, providing you with a shelter from the hostile weather outside. the orange lighting creates a cozy atmosphere in stark contrast to grey sky outdoors, covered in a thick layer of clouds - a prevailing threat that it should start to rain at any moment.

while kicking off your shoes, after you’re done getting rid of the layers of clothing that were weighing on your body, you wonder if you should accept, at last, atsumu’s offer to move in with him. despite the fact that this place was not your actual house, it sure did feel like coming home whenever you walked in. it was, indeed, your safe haven, not only from the weather outside but from the world. as soon as you set a foot inside this place, all your concerns seem to be washed away.

you figured it must have been the weather to further instigate your current bad mood but you can’t put aside the thought that today, everything seems to be working against you and there is nothing more you crave than to sit in the comfort of atsumu’s presence and forget all about the trivial things plaguing your mind.

oddly enough, you are not greeted with his familiar face peeking through the door of the living room, his lips stretching into a beamy smile as he excitedly yells your name upon seeing you, as it is usual. however, although your boyfriend is nowhere to be seen, his presence is felt throughout the whole apartment.

the place is charged with traces of him - from the sweet but manly scent of his perfume lingering faintly in the air, to his keys with the small pendant you bought tossed carelessly next to a framed picture of the two of you, on top of the entry table as well as osamu’s coat that atsumu never returned because he claimed it suited him better anyway, hung on the doorknob of his room.

it is also hard not to notice the different pairs of slippers scattered along the wooden floor of the entry hall however, you have grown so familiar with the sight that you would have paid no mind to it if it weren’t for you tripping over one of the long forgotten pairs of fuzzy slippers. what otherwise would have looked like slouchiness only made the place feel more inviting. you have grown acquainted with the chaos, learned to embrace even, it’s familiarity never failed to put you at ease - in the end, everything was just on it’s right place.

atsumu is clumsier than he looks. he whined about how every new set of slippers he bought would go missing within a week, only for him to purchase a new set and for you to find the previous lost pair somewhere under a piece of furniture which resulted in the eclectic collection of slippers he owns to this day. 

walking across the hall, you come to a halt once you reach the living room, waiting for a frowning atsumu to notice you leaning against the doorway whilst he presses on the buttons of the tv remote in a frenzy on yet another hopeless attempt to get the television to miraculously start working - the “no signal” alert on the screen won’t disappear no matter how many times or how rough he hits the buttons on the remote, you have been over this many times with him.

“you never know” he would answer adamantly, with his brows raised in mock defiance. how naive, desperate times require desperate measures, you suppose.

a small giggle erupts from your chest capturing atsumu’s attention, his head snapping in your direction as his lips almost instantly stretch into bright smile - it was his body’s intuitive reaction whenever he laid eyes on you. atsumu calls out for you, dragging on the last syllable of your name in enthusiasm and you can’t help the grin, albeit weak, that crawls its way up to your lips. he could always steal a smile from you, no matter how tired you were.

upon noticing the clear exhaustion on your features, his broad smile morphs into a sympathetic pout as he tosses the remote on the cushions next to him, stretching his arms wide open for you, inviting you in with a quiet “get over here”

you drag yourself to the the checkered sofa where atsumu is sitting, awaiting you, to gladly accept his offer. and just like magnetic attraction, your body falls limp into his embrace, finding solace in his arms as you slump down on his lap with a relieved sob.

atsumu is left to deal with the dead weight of your body on top of him yet instead of complaining, he embraces you just tight enough to earn a quiet squeal from you, your head lifting itself from it’s comfortable spot snuggled against the warm skin of his neck only for you to shoot him a glare.

“where’s my kiss” atsumu taps his lips twice with his index finger to which you bend your head down to comply with his request.

honestly, how could you have forgotten. exhaustion really must have got the best of you because there was nothing more you had craved throughout the whole day than to feel his lips against yours, you could really use a kiss or two - or maybe a few - right now. however, you barely have the chance to connect your lips with his before atsumu is pinching your nose, prompting you to withdraw.

“your lips are freezing cold!” he whines in response to the inquisitive look on your face, his eyes wide in a rather theatrical manner. your boyfriend’s melodramatic behaviour has you rolling your eyes back in annoyance before you lean back in only for atsumu to cover your mouth with the palm of him hand.

“needy are we? rough day, pretty girl?” he teases with a taunting grin plastered on that frustratingly pretty face of his.

“go to hell, atsumu. just kiss me already” if only you weren’t this tired and atsumu wasn’t looking this tempting, maybe you could’ve kept the frustration from overflowing for you knew how he would pick on your helplessness only to keep teasing you and test the effect he had on you. and, you hate to admit that you have no restraint when it comes to him but, truth is, there is not much you can endure until you give in to atsumu and he manages to get you right where he wants you - you were always so pliant on his hands, he found it endearing to say the least.

trying your luck yet again, you hesitantly brush your lips against his, looking up at him through your lashes. you move carefully, almost as if you’re lurking on a prey, keeping a close watch on his face as you knew all it took was a false step for him to get away.

“you didn’t answer me” and just like that he pulls away from you, his voice cutting through the silence and ruining the mood, much to your dismay.

“yes, i had a rough day and you’re not making it any better, ‘tsumu” you spit the words out, although you reckon your tone was sorta harsh you are fuming at this point. on days like this, where it almost feels like it is your body’s basic need to feel him close to you, there is nothing you wouldn’t do for a kiss of his and he truly wasn’t helping you feel any better. two could play this game but you don’t even have the strength to put up a fight and taunt him back, wishing he would just give in to you as easily as you give in to him.

“so eager, i must be one hell of a kisser” he whispers against your lips. atsumu is having too much fun playing this little game of cat and mouse, repeatedly dodging your every move as you chase after his lips. if you didn't know any better, you would almost say it was taking every fiber on his being to hold himself back by the way he is ogling your lips.

“tell me, baby, do you want to feel my lips against yours that bad, hm?”

“yes, can you kiss me now?” your straightforwardness catches him off guard, earning a chuckle from your boyfriend as he tilts his head to kiss you on the cheek, dropping the act at last.

“no need to be mad, baby, patient girls get whatever they want” he grabs your cheeks, squishing them together and proceeds to place a quick peck on your pout before he slumps back against the couch, resting his arms over the lenght of the back of the couch.

“come get your kiss” he says in defiance with a wicked smirk which has you narrowing your eyes.

you lean forward cautiously, trying to understand what is the catch here, though he doesn’t even flinch when you crawl your way to wrap your arms around his neck. it is when you let your guard down, wearing the smile of victory as you lean in for a kiss that atsumu dodges you once again but he doesnt even give you time to complain before he is gripping your waist and tugging you into his chest before he crashes his lips into yours.

oh and was it worth the wait. atsumu could take you to heaven and beyond with just a simple innocent kiss. you feel like you’re soaring the sky and now you never want to come back down to earth ever again. you could argue that he is not perfect but, despite all his flaws, atsumu is still a true angel in disguise.

[a/n]: honestly i made atsumu’s character out to be messier than i imagine him to be but, i had this really cute picture in my head of a v v cozy house with lots of slippers scattered all over + had these flirty dialogue prompts written down & decided to put them together and thought atsumu fitted the role perfectly so yea!

this aint nothing special, just a good ol’ domestic au! but i hope you all enjoy what i have come up with after i’ve been neglecting writing for a whole month now <33

+ next batch is soulmate au! mattsun!!

[cowboisadness]

Hang ‘Em High {Arthur Morgan x OC} Chapter 16

Pairing: Arthur Morgan x FemOC

Summery: Belle Hawthorne is high society looking to escape her mean husband. A robbery by the Van Der Linde gang could be her chance. Can she escape his cluches and possibly discover what love should feel like?

Warnings: Swearing

.....

Chapter 16

My whole body was electrified from his touch, heating me up from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. Grasping each other like our lives depended on it.

It had been a long time since I felt like this, only, this flame burnt brighter and the butterflies beat harder.

One hand in my hair and the other at my waist, pulling my body flush with his own. Mine still settled on his cheek and the other gripping his shoulder, keeping him down here, grounded with me. 

His tongue brushed over my lip, prompting me to invite him further. Tasting a hint of moonshine as his tongue danced with mine.

I hummed an involuntary moan, not realising until I heard it. His grip softened then and before I knew it he was pulling away, his hands retreating and taking a few steps back.

“I - I’m sorry, I - shouldn’t - I” He stammered, looking everywhere but at me. 

I took a step closer, slowly, like I was calming a spooked horse that wanted desperately to flee.

"Arthur, don't - " 

He mimics my movement, stepping back "No. It's not right. It's not what you want." Then he turns to walk away, I’m still rooted to the spot.

"Don't just assume to know what I want," I call out to his back prompting him to stop and finally look back at me.

"I aint a good man."

“Then you don’t know enough about me,”

My shoulders slumped in what would appear as defeat, but I was shocked that everything he has done to help me in these few months, he doesn’t see as good, noble actions. A kindness not many would be met with.

"I know bad men, you aren’t one of them" 

I recoiled at that. I am certain the man I have slowly gotten to know, to call a friend, someone that I care about isn’t the one he is saying he is. Either that or he is a great liar and better than he makes out. But why?

“It’s getting dark.” With that, he turns on his feet and begins walking towards camp again. I followed a few paced back, my eyes on the ground the whole way trying to understand what just happened.

Once at camp we parted without a word or even a glance, my hands clammy and my mind reeling from confusion and to be honest - hurt.

…..

Instead of dwelling or loathing in self-pity, I made my way to Dutch, who was sat reading by his tent, with a proposal he may be interested in.

The Braithwaites owned prized horses and Hosea mentioned John and a few others planning to relieve them of a few of those said horses.

I explained to Dutch how I knew about other Braithwaite horses, some even more special, being held in stables near a local creek. Secretly hidden away and only to be viewed by notable buyers. Mentioning I had been there once before. He thanked me and planned to have a few men go over and scope out the area.

Many had congregated around the fire as the evening set in but I had no intentions of joining them tonight. Fixing my gaze over at Arthurs tent, the canvas drawn closed and the dull gleam from the lantern seeping out from under it. Should I go and speak with him? Try and clear everything up?

No - No point. My emotions were still reeling as made evident by my still pounding heart and clammy palms. Instead, I made my way to my tent to turn in for the night.

It was then, being in the confines of my own private space that the events from tonight finally dawned on me. I shot and probably killed multiple people tonight. It weighed heavy on me in a way dissimilar to killing that O’Driscoll a week ago. It was all in self-defence but the conversation and that damned kiss in the woods, not moments after killing, and aiming to kill. Like it wasn’t a big deal.

Franks a killer, Arthurs a killer. I’m a killer.

To have no second thought on what I was willing to do with a gun in my hand and then fling myself into the arms of a friend like I was living in some lunatic action-romance novel. What a complete fucking mess of a woman. Of a person.

This couldn’t be who I really was.

I slumped onto my bedroll, my reflection finally taking hold as the tears began to pour and my chest tightened. This is the life I have chosen to live.

I tried to keep the sounds of my sobs to a minimum and waited for the restless night to eventually pass into daybreak.

The next morning I woke before anyone else, no point in trying to get any more sleep. My eyes scanned the camp and made my way to make a fresh batch of coffee. The weight still heavy and the back of my eyes burning.

But I didn't waste any time to let my mind wander again, deciding to get one with whatever chores I could to keep myself busy.

A couple of hours later John approached me as I was trying to stomach the tasteless oatmeal that was breakfast. He and Javier checked out the stables I mentioned during the night, said it was legitimate, a few guards and workers but nothing they couldn’t handle. They planned on robbing that place after the manor, which was happening today. I hope they get something worthwhile out of those horses. The Breaithwates are known to be nasty folk and deserve to be fucked over.

I wasn’t expecting this given that I had no part in helping to steal them. He noticed my hesitation, pushing the notes into my soaked hand. “You told us, you get some.” 

I was sat with Karen and Abigail as they worked on mending the never-ending pile of damaged clothing. I was elbow deep in a wash bucket, suds overflowing as I relentlessly tried to beat the dirt out of the fabric. It could get so hot here it wouldn’t be long until the clothing I was currently wearing would need to join the others in the bucket.

John, Javier and Arthur had just returned from stealing the horses, the three of them stood at Dutchs tent before John made his way over to us.

Expecting him to start a conversation (or argument) with Abigail I was surprised when he stopped in front of me. A clip of notes in his hand.

“Here's your cut. Those were some fine horses.” He said as he handed the money to me.

It wasn’t until I heard the unfamiliar laugh that my attention was drawn back to him. Stood with Lenny beside the fire, fully engrossed in whatever the other was saying. I never heard him laugh like that, completely carefree at that moment. A deep feeling making me wish I could be sharing that happiness with him, and even being the cause. My shoulders slumped as a shuddering sigh escaped me. I didn’t realise I had stopped what I was doing, arms motionless within the water and eyes fixed on him until Karen’s hand was waving in front of my face, pulling my attention to her and Abigail. Both of them watching me intently. 

Shoving the fold into the breast of my blouse like the lady I am I looked up to John with a grateful smile “Thank you, John.”

He shrugged with a smile and wandered off.

Soon after Arthur passed by, murmuring a “Good afternoon, Ladies” without even looking my way. The other two returning the pleasantry but I kept quiet, my focus now back on the task in front of me. Pushing back the slight pang of hurt with a deep breath.

“You alright there, Bella? Got a bit distracted?” Karen inquired, the pair with a knowing look on their faces.

“No, I’m fine. Just...I’m sick of sweating, you know?” I turned back to the shirt in my hands, ringing it out and hoping they would continue what they were doing. Real smooth Bella.

“Yeah, and we were born yesterday. Come on, you know you can gossip with us. Us girls keep our lips sealed.”

I looked at her as she knelt closer to me, her features blurry. 

I shook my head, the loud thoughts now running through my mind. The shirt in my hands being twisted to an inch of its life.

Abigail’s hand rested on mine, halting the torture I was inflicting on the fabric.

“Sweetheart, what’s happened?” her voice was soft and quiet, easing me in a way only a mother knows how. 

“I done something stupid,” I whispered, just enough for them both to hear, Karen glancing in the direction of the fire. Abigail curled her other arm around to gently stroke my arm. 

“Talk to him. You’d be dumb not to see that you two have gotten close since you being here.”

“The men here are surely the most dim-witted I’ve ever met, and I’ve robbed fools from right under their nose many times,” Karen exclaimed with a smile on her face making me huff out a quiet laugh.

So it was that obvious huh? They didn't even need to ask who I was talking about.

@kashasenpai​

If you want to be included in the taglist just shoot me a message :)

[ihaveonlymydreams]

“All right,” Goodyhay said. “Anybody that thinks all he’s got to do is sit on his stern and have salvation come down on him like a cloudburst or something, dont belong in here. You got to get up on your feet and hunt it down until you can get a-hold of it and then hold it, even fighting off if you have to. And if you cant find it, then by God make it. Make a salvation He will pass and then earn the right to grab it and hold on and fight off too if you have to but anyway hold it, hell and high water be damned—” when a voice, a man, interrupted:

“Tell it again, Joe. Go on. Tell it again.”

“What?” Goodyhay said.

“Tell it again,” the man said. “Go on.”

“I tried to,” Goodyhay said. “You all heard me. I cant tell it.”

“Yes you can,” the man said; now there were women’s voices too:

“Yes, Joe. Tell it,” and he, Mink, still watching the hands not clenched but just closed on the plank, the coldly seething anchorite’s eyes—the eyes of a fifth-century hermit looking at nothing from the entrance of his Mesopotamian cave—the body rigid in an immobility like a tremendous strain beneath a weight.

“All right,” Goodyhay said. “I was laying there. I was all right, everything snafu so I was all right. You know how it is in water when you dont have any weight at all, just laying there with the light coming way down from up on top like them lattice blinds when they shake and shiver slow in a breeze without making any sound at all. Just laying there watching my hands floating along without me even having to hold them up, with the shadow of them lattice blinds winking and shaking across them, and my feet and legs too, no weight at all, nowhere to have to go or march, not even needing to breathe, not even needing to be asleep or nothing: just all right. When there He was standing over me, looking like any other shavetail just out of a foxhole, maybe a little older, except he didn’t have a hat, bucket: just standing there bareheaded with the shadow of the lattice running up and down him, smoking a cigarette. ‘Fall in, soldier,’ He said.

“ ‘I cant,’ I says. Because I knew that as long as I laid still, I would be all right. But that once I let myself start thinking about moving, or tried to, I would find out l couldn’t. But what the hell, why should I? I was all right. I had had it. I had it made. I was sacked up. Let them do whatever they.…ing wanted to with their.…ing war up on top.

“ ‘That’s once,’ He said. ‘You aint got but three times. You, the Top Soldier, saying cant. At Château-Thierry and St-Mihiel the company would have called you the Top Soldier. Do they still do that in the Corps on Guadalcanal?’

“ ‘Yes,’ I says.

“ ‘All right, Top Soldier,’ He said. ‘Fall in.’ So I got up. ‘At ease,’ He said. ‘You see?’ He said.

“ ‘I thought I couldn’t,’ I says. ‘I didn’t believe I could.’

“ ‘Sure,’ He said. ‘What else do we want with you. We’re already full up with folks that know they can but dont, since because they already know they can, they dont have to do it. What we want are folks that believe they cant, and then do it. The other kind dont need us and we dont need them. I’ll say more: we dont even want them in the outfit. They wont be accepted; we wont even have them under our feet. If it aint worth that much, it aint worth anything. Right?’

“ ‘Yes sir,’ I says.

“ ‘You can say Sir up there too if you want,’ He said. ‘It’s a free country. Nobody gives a damn. You all right now?’ ”

‘Yes sir,’ I says.

“ ‘TenSHUN!’ He said. And I made them pop, mud or no mud. ‘About-FACE!’ He said. And He never saw one smarter than that one neither. ‘Forward MARCH!’ He said. And I had already stepped off when He said, ‘Halt!’ and I stopped. ‘You’re going to leave him laying there,’ He said. And there he was, I had forgot about him, laying there as peaceful and out of it too as you please—the damned little bastard that had gone chicken at the exact wrong time, like they always do, turned the wheel a-loose and tried to duck and caused the whole damn mess; lucky for all of us he never had a.…ing bar on his shoulder so he could have.…ed up the whole detail and done for all of us.

“ ‘I cant carry him too,’ I says.

“ ‘That’s two times,’ He said. ‘You’ve got one more. Why not go on and use it now and get shut of it for good?’

“ ‘I cant carry him too,’ I says.

“ ‘Fine,’ He said. ‘That’s three and finished. You wont ever have to say cant again. Because you’re a special case; they gave you three times. But there’s a general order coming down today that after this nobody has but one. Pick him up.’ So I did. ‘Dismiss,’ He said. And that’s all. I told you I cant tell it. I was just there. I cant tell it.”

[gloves94]

To Be So Lonely [Draco Malfoy] 26

Rating:  Pairings: Draco Malfoy/OC Chapter warnings: Anxiety! Phobia!

CHAPTER MASTERLIST

MY MASTER-LIST

Did Professor Snape actually think she was stupid?

Probably. Ellar Lestrange had tried to kill her. How- why on Earth would she ever considering being around him ever again? An unpleasant chill went down her spine at the thought of being around him. She thought of the crazed look on his eyes as he attempted to drown her, his rough grip on her body, his cold lips. Consider it done Snape.

It wouldn’t happen again.

However, the thought of getting even – the need to make him feel just as small as he had made her feel – the thought was more than tempting, but how could she hurt him? As far as she knew it didn’t look like Ellar had a weakness. She tried to empathize with him, to think of his intentions and have the benefit of the doubt yet couldn’t reach a conclusion.

‘Mr. Lupin, I apologize it has taken so long for me to write to you back. I hope the gloves I sent you fit you well. I’m not the most skilled knitter so I have enchanted them with a charm that should keep your hands warm (it is still a work in progress, so I hope the charm sticks).

Hogwarts has been well Hogwarts. I’m happy to be home. Work has been keeping me busy. I have a lot to make up to from last year and every year I get more and more clients. It can get exhausting, but work is work and I shouldn’t complain.

The Yule Ball was fine-‘

It wasn’t. The Yule Ball was a complete catastrophe. Not just for Nel but for almost every student that attended.

‘-I went stag. Found a dress from the ‘Come and Go Room.’ Did you know Hogwarts has a secret room? My friends are-‘

She looked up from her scribbling to see Daphne and Theodore playing and holding with each other’s hands in the middle of the Slytherin table. Both of them completely lost in each other’s eyes. Some Durmstrang students glared at them with revulsion at the romantic public display of attention. Nel almost threw up. To think she wanted that to be her and Ellar Lestrange only a couple of weeks ago. Leanne who was sitting next to Tracey in the Slytherin table was showing her the latest photographs she had captured of the Whomping Willow shaking off some snow. Both were also completely absorbed with each other leaving Nel to constantly feel lonely or like a fifth wheel.  

When they asked why she had returned to the dormitory with parts of her clothes soaking wet she lied and said it had been a prank by the Weasley twins. When asked who had been the one behind the anonymous flower arrangement, she, again, lied and said the person never showed.

“Was it Ellar?” Daphne had asked leaning over her bed, eyes wide in astonishment.

“No,” Nel said dully. “Why would he send me flowers?” She rolled her eyes dramatically. Another lie. None of them questioned it. Specially after the showdown that went on in the Yule Ball.

Of course, all of them were too engrossed with each other to noticed how she had begun to avoid the Black Lake. How she began to make excuses not to run around it in the mornings with Tracey and Viktor, how she starred at the green tinted windows in the Common Room it with unease, nails burying into skin leaving half-moon crescents in her palms, or how her breathing would become irregular when in the presence of a large body of water or even the mentioning of the lake.

She tried to compartmentalize. To push the memory to the back of her head. To ignore the painful memory of your lungs screaming and burning for air. The dark coldness of the underwater and the crazed look on that maniac’s face.

If you’re lying to your friends, you are doing something wrong. However, she felt like they wouldn’t understand. If they knew- if any of them knew it would only complicate things. If Snape, a Hogwarts professor, wasn’t able to do anything what help could her friends be? It didn’t seem like Ellar had a weakness. Even Professor Snape had said it himself, his reeking privileged had saved him from Azkaban once before. They might give him a piece of their minds but that would be about it.

In regards of her other friends- Harry was too impulsive, so were the Weasley’s- even talking about it- it would just be problematic. Even Nathair was absent since he was hibernating the cold winter somewhere inside the greenhouse.

Then again, these weren’t things they talked with each other. The less they knew about each other the better.

She wanted to talk to somebody who wouldn’t be biased to judge, someone who would just listen-

Her eyes left the letter she was writing and slowly wondered a couple of seats away to Draco who was pointing at something in a magazine Zabini was showing him, no surprise probably roasting someone. He was a good listener; he was good at this kind of thing.

“Why is Saintday starring at me?” Blaise narcissistically asked Draco when he felt a pair of eyes on him. “Think she’ll ask me to Puddifoot’s?” He laughed in reference to the pink Tea Shop were students usually went on dinner dates at Hogsmeade. She turned away quickly when Malfoy turned in her direction. Her mind went to that same place it had the night after the Yule Ball. The grip around her pen became a little tighter when she felt her face burning from the embarrassment of the memory.

‘My friends are great.’

She dotted that statement harshly.

‘I haven’t been practicing my Patronus charm as much as I should be. Other than that, professor, I was wondering,’ She wanted to scratch off the word professor. It was a force of habit to call him that. ‘Have you ever heard of Ellar Lestrange? He used to be a student at Hogwarts.’ He’s also a real foul git.

‘Other than that – I hope you are well professor. Hopefully by the next time we meet my Patronus will be fully functional.

Take care, - Nel’

Looking over her shoulder she fed a piece of sausage to her owl which had been loyally perched on her shoulder all this time and handed it two sealed letters. One for Lupin and another for Cedric who was just a couple of tables away.

‘Meet me outside in 5.’ The note read.

Cedric read it and their eyes met from across the Great Hall. Looking up he nodded with a lazy smile and made his way outside.

“Where are you going?” Tracey asked when she saw her friend rise without saying a word.

“Common Room,” She half lied. “See ya,” She said curtly.

“Nel you’ve been acting very wei-“ Tracey didn’t get to finish her sentence, her friend leaving her hanging. “Weird,” She dead panned and turned to give Leanne an irritated look. “I think she’s just upset about the Yule Ball,” the Hufflepuff suggested.

“I mean something did happen with Lestrange, right? People say she went mad and struck him, then he sent her flowers- you’d think she’d be elated. Didn’t you say she fancied him?” Moon added to the group of Slytherins. Daphne pinched the bridge of her nose irritated at the missing puzzle piece.

She was missing something, but what was it?

“Ced,” Outside of the Great Hall, Nel greeted the older Hufflepuff as they walked down the corridor in no particular direction. “Ever heard of the ‘Come and Go Room?’” She asked with particular interest.

Cedric looked a little confused by her question. “You mean the Room of Requirement?” He arched an eyebrow.

“The Room of what?” Her expression mimicked his.

“Come, I’ll show you,” He said turning in the direction of the moving staircases and leading her up. “Is this what you wanted to talk about?” He asked as they headed up the stairs to the seventh floor.

No. She wanted to tell him about what she knew about the lake. She wanted to tell him- someone about what had happened with Ellar Lestrange that night. About how his mother would most definitely kill her in cold blood for wounding the pride and joy that was her only son. She didn’t want to think of Cloelia rigidly sitting at home with her palms flat on the dining table as she plotted her vengeance against her. “I want to see you go mad,” the Beuxbaton student’s cruel words still haunted her. The thought of the dark water-

“No,” She said quicker than she intended. Wanting to shut out the memory of the dark water. “It’s about the Second Task of the Tournament. I am more than certain it’s at the lake. Are you prepared to go underwater?”

“Underwater?” Cedric’s thick eyebrows burrowed deep in thought. “Yes. Unless you can grow gills, I have a feeling you’re going to need some help in that department.”

“How do you know this?” He asked curiously.

She could’ve confessed. Told her about what Ellar had done to her and how Professor Snape knew. How Snape had been there and had done nothing about it, but it brought so much shame to her. It had been her fault in the first place, for being there, for trusting Ellar, for putting herself in that situation. Besides- what would Cedric do about it? Nothing. Ellar was beyond privileged, it would come to his word against her and in the end his, being a Lestrange, weighted more. It weighted enough to get him off the hook from Azkaban.

“Never mind that,” He shrugged. “Anyhow-“ Cedric said as they entered the Seventh Floor. “Here it is,” he finished with confident as they stopped in front of a large empty wall across from a tapestry of Barnabas the Barny trying to teach trolls to dance ballet.

She was silent for a moment looking for the entrance to the Room of Requirement. The door must be really small, she squinted her eyes to try and see.

“But there’s no door,” Nel observed.

“One thing about Hogwarts is, nothing really is what it seems,” Cedric reached for her arm and pulled her along as he walked away. She was more than perplexed by the missing room.

“The Room of Requirements only reveals itself to those who require it,” He explained as the two walked in front of tapestry three times. It was then that he stopped a massive door with intricate swirling carvings then revealed itself to the two of them. It even seemed to slightly shimmer. “Tricky, aint it?” He said with his hands on his waist.

“How-How’d you?” She looked at him wide eyed with a broad smile.

“Walk in front of the tapestry three times while focusing on an intent. If you do it correctly the room and whatever you desire should appear.”

She made a mental note of this. “How do you know about it?” She looked at him oddly.

A coy grin grew across his face and he ran a hand through his neat copper hair. “Well,” He chuckled. “Prefects use it as a snogging room,” he said cheekily. He laughed at her stunned expression. “Why? Are you thinking of having some company over?”

She slapped his arm and looked away hoping he wouldn’t notice her flustered reaction.

“Knock yourself out,” He once again laughed. “That reminds me-“ He waved his finger. She noted he was stepping away from her. “I have an idea. Meet me outside the prefect’s bathroom in half an hour.”

“What?” She turned back to look at him with that same confused look she had been wearing on her face all evening long so far.

Xxx

It would take hours- no days. To look through all of the vials, books, trunks, boxes and other magical trinkets that are all inside of the room. And who knew what Cedric meant when he said the room would shift into whatever its user required.

Elowen even lost track of her time and arrived outside the Prefect’s Bathroom later than expected. She waited outside but Cedric never showed. Maybe- she looked around the corridor shiftily hoping no other prefects or professors would be doing rounds tonight. Maybe he was already inside?

“Hello?” She croaked as she crept inside of the Prefect’s Bathroom. She was distracted looking up in awe at the animated mermaid stained glass windows and the massive organ like fountain that was pouring down a rainbow of water that descended into a bubbly lagoon that she didn’t even realize Cedric half underwater. Did people actually come and bathe in here?

“Took you long enough!” He laughed a little and swam towards the edge and reached for the golden egg he had received in the First Task.

Normally she would’ve had a clever retort at the tip of her tongue, but the sight of the dark water grounded her in place. He didn’t seem to notice her rattled reaction. Her eyes were frozen on the water. She knew it had a bottom. She knew Cedric wasn’t struggling. She knew she wouldn’t fall. She knew she wouldn’t drown, but the memories.

The vivid feeling of her lungs burning for air as salty lake water flooded her mouth and choked the air out of her suddenly came back to her.

“Well come on then,” he waved his hand over in his direction still wearing a cheery grin. She didn’t share his enthusiasm. “Welcome to the Prefect’s Bathroom. You’ll be able to use it next year. If you are chosen to become a prefect. I think you’d make a rather good one.”

The cold darkness that engulfed her beneath the lake still pricked at her with the sight of the dark water.

The fact Diggory was shirtless and in the water didn’t cross her mind, she didn’t snap out of her fearful trance until she heard a dreadfully familiar laugh.

“Is this the- handsome boy – you brewed that foul-smelling Love Potion for?”

Moaning Myrtle.

“Myrtle,” Nel dropped her name from her mouth with much nasal distaste. The ghost girl’s remarks cause her to snap out of her trance and drag her heavily grounded feet towards the pool.

“I would disagree,” She said woefully with a bit of an incredulous laugh answering his comment.

Nel? Prefect? Could you imagine the chaos and havoc? Students would be getting points for jinxing people on her shit list.

“You brewed a Love Potion Nel?” Cedric laughed; his eyebrows arched in surprise. “Maybe the snogging room will come in handy!”

“The only snog Snelly Nelly is getting is from a Welsh troll,” Myrtle cackled and Nel wished she could toss something in her direction. Both ignored her.

“I am not getting in the water Cedric,” She warned kneeling on the edge.

“Are you sure?” He rested his elbows on the edge. “Waters nice,” He said splashing some warm water in her direction. She stiffened up petrified. Again, he chuckled slightly interpreting her response as a girlish nervousness.

“I was thinking-“ He pondered for a moment. “Since the task is underwater, what do you think would happen if I sink the egg underwater?”

Xxx

“You have to come!” A week later Tracey was pulling on Nel’s hand as she insisted her friend came to attend the Second Task of the Triwizard tournament which would take place in the Black Lake.

“I’ve got a lot of work to do,” She lied shiftily nervously playing with her book bag’s strap. Never in this lifetime would she admit she was afraid and less to a room full of Slytherins. “Oh, come on,” Tracey insisted still pulling on her friend’s hand. “It’ll be fun! Leanne even got butterscotch popcorn for us!”

“Thanks Trace, but I’ll pass really,” Nel averted her eyes and kept them glued to the floor. She withdrew her hand from her friend’s coldly.

Tracey looked at her with a concerned expression. “You’ve been acting really odd lately,” She said with a hand on her waist.

“Odd?” Nel kept busy by tossing meaningless items inside of her bookbag. “Odd how?” She dodged the subject tossing in more parchments, ink, an extra quill and a pillow. Wait- she didn’t need a pillow. She put the item back in her bed and took in a deep breath her eyes moving from one end of the Slytherin dormitory to the other eventually focusing on Mildred’s cat.

“Nel,” Tracey said softly as she took a seat on the edge of her friend’s bed.

“You can talk to me – to us – your friends. About anything, really-“ She said tenderly her worried eyes still lingering on her roommate.

“There is nothing going on!” She snapped in return. She didn’t even realize she had raised her voice. “Nothing Trace! Stop being so damn bloody nosey!” She shut her book bag before standing up and storming out of the room. Tracey sat stunned at the volatile reaction.

Halting by the door, Nel rested a hand on the door frame. “Trace- I’m…” She turned with her head lowered. “I’m sorry, I-I shouldn’t have snapped. I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that,” She hesitated before walking back to the bed. “I’m sorry,” She pinched the bridge of her nose and Tracey suspected she was wiping away tears that dared prick at the inner corners of her eyes.

She sat in the bed next to her and Tracey took her hand in hers patting it sadly.

“Who do I have to kill?” Tracey laughed slightly which in turn made Nel break into a smile. “Was it Malfoy?” This time she spoke in full seriousness.  

Feeling drained Nel held her breath. “Draco?” She shook her head and put her head on her friend’s shoulder before sighing deeply. “No, not this time.”

“Draco?” Tracey was in turn more than surprised at her casual use of his name. “That’s new,” Tracey huffed slightly before nudging her shoulder up. She was about to further press on the topic when Pansy Parkinson walked into the dormitory. “Forgot my binoculars,” She tossed over her shoulder not paying the two Slytherins much attention.

“By the way my money’s on Potter,” She added with pomp before walking out.

“’On Potter?’” Nel repeated still with her head comfortably resting on Tracey’s shoulder. How odd for Pansy to be rooting for Harry in anything. “Interesting choice,” was all she commented.

“They’re not betting on winners,” Tracey said with an exhausting sight. “They’re betting on who’s drowning first.”

Like that Nel’s head jolted up as she sat extremely straight and looked at Tracey with a horrified expression. “What?” She gaped.

Tracey couldn’t help but laugh at her friend’s reaction. “Calm down,” She said through small laughs as she attempted to comfort her friend. “Dumbledore and the Ministry of Magic will be there, there’s no reason why anything could go wrong.”

The thought of Harry or Cedric or Viktor or even Fleur de la Couer whom Nel had never exchanged a word with drowning made Nel want to retch. She pictured the horrifying image of pale body floating in the contrasting waters of the Black Lake. She paled at the thought and felt her stomach twist uneasily. There it was again that tight sensation in her throat.

“I’ll catch up,” She croaked after a moment. Tracey hugged her and promised they would save her a seat since Daphne and Theodore were probably already there waiting for them in the audience bleachers.

Xxx

The day was freezing. Air was cold as strong gusts of wind blew through the eager crowds which sat on the bleachers in a makeshift dock in the middle of the Black Lake. It was definitely not a good day to take a dip in the freezing waters.

The Ministry of Magic sat in the audience as a spectator, next to him sat Lucius Malfoy, on the same row was Albus Dumbledore, Ludo Bagman and Barty Crouch.

In the row below Tracey looked around the crowd anxiously. She sat in defeat when she came to the realization her friend was nowhere to be found.

Lowering her binoculars Nel blew a hair out from her face in great frustration as she watched from a far. There was no way she was going to walk across a bridge and sit in a dock for who knows how many hours waiting for anybody to come up from the water. She was safe and sound witnessing the events from the edge of the lake actually standing on solid British soil.

A gun had been fired and the contestant had been underwater for some time now.

Sighing she once again picked up the binoculars and this time observed as the champions got ready to take a leap. She knew that Cedric would use a Bubble-Head Charm one that he had endlessly been practicing in the Prefect’s Bathroom. She helped him practice, convincing herself that it would be ideal to know, especially when in such a close proximity to a large body of water. She was curious as to what the other champions would use.

“What are you doing here?” A voice that ran a chill down her spine struck her.

She said nothing and stammer a little imagining how ridiculous she probably looked standing alone on the edge of the Black Lake witnessing everything from a far.

“You’re scared of the lake. Aren’t you?”

Irritated she again lowered her binoculars yet didn’t turn around, her gaze remained fixed on the end of the dock where the Second Task of the Triwizard tournament was happening.

“So perceptive of you,” She said dryly.

“Why?” She could hear the pebbles on the edge of the muddy lake crunching under his feet as he approached her side. His voice, it sounded like he had genuine concern. Yet with Malfoy it was hard to know if he was being sincere or not. “Are you here to make fun of me?”

He stood there for a moment “I’m not,” like Tracey’s earlier his voice was soft, unthreatening, he sunk his hands in his black jacket’s pockets shielding them from the bitter winds.

Her lips were tightly drawn into a line. She still didn’t want to look at him. Wasn’t his father in the audience? Why was he here with her?

Unsure of what to say she was silent for a moment.  

“You were right,” She decided to break that silence. She hadn’t even realized she was biting her lip, nodding her head slightly with a distant look of disdain in her eyes. He looked at her with curiosity.

“Lestrange,” She thought of the perfect way to describe him. “He’s a monster.”

She didn’t notice how his expression hardened when he registered the apathetic look in her eyes. That son of a bitch. He wondered just what was going through her head. His eyes looked for any trace of injury on her exposed skin, but it was hard to see beneath the gloves, scarf, knitted cap and all winter gear.

“Seems to be quite fixed on you as of the late. Sending you flowers and all.”

“How?” She finally turned to face him. How was it that he always seemed to know?

“The Weasleys can barely afford to breathe, Potter is too daft to send something so elaborate. It has to be someone with a strong intent that can afford such an unimaginative gesture,” He looked at her with full seriousness. “Alright Sherlock,” She rolled her eyes wearing a half smile before once again focusing on the tournament through her binoculars which were strapped around her neck.

“What did you call me?” He asked sounding offended by the unknown word.  

“Muggle reference,” She added wearing that same coy smile. The moment was short lived. The smile wiped from her features as there seemed to be some action in the tournament.

“I think Krum is coming up-“ She described. “Is that? With Granger?” She squinted through the glass making sure she was seeing correctly. “You’re missing the task,” She said to Malfoy hoping he’d go away and return to his father’s eyes to witness the tournament. Instead he said nothing and took the binoculars from her and she was tugged to his side by the short strap that was around her neck. He didn’t apologize for standing so close to her, nor did he seem to care.

She could smell his strong cologne. Could see the beauty marks and freckles on his pale skin.

She didn’t mean for it to happen, but her heart picked up pace. This time there was no alcohol involved. She stood on her tip toes hoping to keep a distance between the two. Struggling to keep her balance standing over the slippery pebbles. Slipping she braced onto his arm to hold herself up. “Sorry,” She mumbled ducking her head.

“Fancy a swim Elowen?” A voice that sounded like nails on a chalkboard interrupted. Ellar stood a couple of feet away from them about to cross the bridge which lead to the makeshift island were audiences were viewing the Tri-Wizard Tournament. He wore a smug smile as he hid his hands in his coat’s pockets.

Malfoy glared at the Beuxbaton student with hatred.

“Cowering behind Malfoy. How typical,” The other shot. Nel didn’t even realize she was hiding behind Malfoy, or maybe he had pushed her behind him. Did it really matter? Triggered she stepped forward and whipped her wand ready to hex him. Yet her hand was held back. Draco gave her a knowing look. He knew when to pick his fights. She didn’t.

“Woah, woah, woah,” Lestrange raised his hands up mockingly. “Might want to put a leash around her Malfoy. I heard she bites,” Ellar bit down on the edge of his lip with a wink before haughtily walking away with his head tossed back as he retreated. His loud laugher a faraway echo from the windy spot where Draco and Nel were standing.

Nel kept her head lowered not wanting to think about what had happened with Ellar. After all it had all been her fault.

“Nel,” She felt a rough hand on her shoulder turn her. “What did he do?”

Sullenly she simply shook her head in small movements. “What did he do to you?” He repeated his tone stronger, grip on her arm tighter. “Nothing,” She lied dismissively , like she had rehearsed a thousand times. “Tell me,” He ordered. “He forced himself on me,” word vomit. She hadn’t even realized she’d said it. “Kissed me,” She paused. “And then tried to drown me in the Black Lake,” She admitted not wanting to look at his judging eyes. She waited for him to blame her just like she blamed herself from the shame of it. “Son of a bitch.”

Draco wasn’t looking at her he instead marched in Ellar’s direction beginning to cross the wood bridge. Lifting his wand dishonorably hexing the teen with his back turned; Lestrange was propelled high into the sky and across nastily splashing into the lake’s water. His father, the audience and everybody else would’ve been way to distracted by one of the champions emerging from the water to even realize what he had done. “And coming up!” Ludo spoke as he continued to narrate the events of the tournament to the audience.

Nel watched with her mouth ajar again bringing the binoculars to her mouth as Ellar spat out some cold water and rise up in the tournament. “Is that a student? Somebody get that fanatic out of the winter waters!”

Students in the audience pointed and laughed.

Wearing a triumphant and very satisfied smile Draco flipped his wand in his hand before turning to face Nel. Lowering her binoculars, she rubbed her eyes and buried her face in the palms of her hands.

“Nel?” He called her name quickly approaching her. Again, she could hear the pebbles shifting under his steps. “Are you crying?” He asked sounding more blatantly surprised than concerned this time.

“No,” She removed her hands and wore a broad smile she attempted to hide behind her knuckles.

Satisfied Draco looked back at the audience from a far. He let out a laugh when he saw the way Lestrange was pitifully fished out of the freezing cold water by a Beuxbaton Professor. People laughed at him as they did.

“What a tosser,”  Draco grumbled with great distaste. Still hiding her shy smile, the girl admired his face profile from the side. He completely missed the large doe eyes she was looking at him with. “Worse than mudbloods I tell you.” And… Just like that it was gone.

[subjectsilver]

Free J. Cole x Mac Miller Type Beat - "Remedy"  ““better””

peddle to the metal I'm swervin not a nice whip its suburban 

eyes on the mirror I'm lurking’ shawty on my tail and she flirting’

i could be a liar not perfect plus 9 shots of the bourbon 

thats 3 more shots than the mag if you wanna draw on my curtains

wait hold up wait i think i might spread the date

she want the dick and 8-08′s

ill bring the birth you bring the cake

like wait hold up wait so much product on her face

no glossier lauder estée

I'm talking blow and special K

shots to your dome thats hollowing, I'm in first place you just following

been there for a minute why you wallowing, you niggas is fake like its halloween

your girl hate me  to you to your face but in the DM’s she acknowledge me

i even kept the pics of her swallowing if you want the proof of the borrowing

wait hold up wait destiny man its my fate

went to wake for an escape and all my problems went away

wait hold up wait ex brother and ex to date

two bitches that tied me up

put two dogs down and shed that weight

i am the best -  i am the goat - i see you stress - i see you sweat

you try write bars - pain in you chest - i try write bars - i do finesse  

i say strap up - you get strap on - you say strap up - i get the proof vest

this was a test - i get an A  - you get an F - wait 

you so depressed - you look a mess 

i body your talent - i put you to rest

you taste so bad - but i still ingest 

i spit you up - you pool like cess

you spit me up and they write you a check

or you write song and boy its a hit

 you used my artwork and you profit from it

i am your career and i hate me for this

peddle to the metal I'm swerving not a nice whip ford focus

women see me and they swarming, need some control like a locus

gotta girlfriend back home but we can all pretend i don't know this

leaving in the middle of the night disappear its ya boy hocus pocus

wait hold up wait i get dollar after dollar

 bank account does not expire

girl hit me up you need a father

like wait hold up wait seat at my table but you not a senate

kent read kent write but you know how to rent it

and you disgust me like your girl kate bennett

i snort powder after powder like i face planted at mad river

i ride shotgun doing shotguns natty light shells in my liver

you get little ice on your wrist and people wanna eat off your plate

but my wrist aint never been frozen 12.99 means fake

i know my mental been strong girl  - i been 6′3 as of late

and you thought i was talking bout height but I'm talking dick my mistake

do you like to DRAW girl i put the D in RAW suck my dick through a straw girl

the way you lick the tip you a search engine brainiac you know it all girl

i blew your back out in the chapel right on top the bench no sheets

then i threw you to the homie and he hit so now you belong to the streets

[divainity-aa]

"happy birthday, dickhead- are we getting plastered or what? damn..." -from ronnie!!!!

❲   REGGIE’S   BIRTHDAY  ❳   :    always  accepting.       ft.  @acidicbite 

          TALK  ABOUT  A  GREETING.  a  voice  he’d  know  with  his  eyes  closed.  the  jump  from  behind  onto  his  shoulders,  forearms  catch  the  back  of  her  knees  to  balance  her  on  leather  back.   she’s  lucky  he’s  shredded,  isn’t  she  grunt  at  weight’s  toll,  usually  not  a  problem  when  not  sprung  via  ambush.  still,  he keeps  pace  after  momentary stumble,  strained  laugh  in  continued  hold.   ❝            like  you  even  have  to  ask.  i  cracked  the  lock  on  dad’s  liquor  cabinet.  trust  me  :  we’re  locked  &  loaded.  ❞   drop  of  form,  watching as she falls in step. fingers that splay, held up in front of him  in  laying  out  his  master  plan.  an  evil  genius  at  work.  

            a finger pointed to emphasize  multiple  points.  ❝   i’m  thinking  sushi,  slasher  films  &  sativa.  in  that  order.   or.   us, some cartons  of  eggs  &  an  entire  neighborhood  of  houses  at  our  disposal.  so  we’ve  got  options.  ❞   he’s  already  pulled the dvd’s  from coveted collection, an endless cache of the movies that kept him company. a combination of classics  (   oldies  but  goodies   )   &  newer hits   (   great  special  effects   )  .  pet  sematary,  nightmare on  elm,  it,  ——  along with the insidious series and  lights out.  the same discs he spun at the age of 14,  when  he was  too  young  to  understand  though  old  enough  to  be  exposed.  unlike  most,  he  lived  for  the  laughs  they  gave  him,  the  comical  screams  &  gore.  it  was  all  so  hilarious  to  him !   she  was  one  of  the  only  people  on  this  earth  not  horrified  by  his  fascination  for  whatever  reason.  if  they played their cards right,   they could watch all of them before the sun comes up.  add  ronnie’s  jumpy  nature  into  the  mix  &  a  clown  mask  he’s  got  hiding  somewhere  &  you’ve  got  the  perfect  night.

           a  pause,  awaiting  her  input,  checking  notifications  on  phone  briefly  before  hearing  three,  sexy  words  :   WHY  NOT  BOTH  ?  gaze  lifts,  lips curl into cheeks,  pulling  back to reveal pearly whites. an arm thrown around to hold dear  friend close,  the  combining  of  minds  for  greater  solution.  a  chef’s kiss  by  joined  fingers  to  respond,  almost  proud  of  his  pranking  apprentice.   ❝   i  like  the  way  you  think.           you’re  on.  be  at  mine  by  9.  or  i’m  starting  without  you.   ❞   playful  smile  before  crossing  path,  headed  to  last  class  before  lunch.  a  look  like that of a parent telling their kid to be home by curfew.  aint  no  rest  for  the  wicked.

[averymessyxmas]

Chapter 6: Grandma Rudy Arrives (10 Days till Christmas)

Janessa:

 I woke up this morning feeling like a weight had finally been lifted off my shoulders. I never knew Vada still held on to that night, I kind of just put it behind me, and moved on. After Grandma Rudy surprised us. We all caught up with her in the living room, Mama and Daddy set her up a room, and we just all went to sleep, I was in pain from Vada’s slap when I woke up. “Damn it that girl can hit” I got dressed for the day and sat on my bed and called my husband on facetime. “Damn baby what happened” Dylan said seeing my face bruised on one side. I sighed. “Vada” I told him. He shook his head. “Damn, yall still beefing?” He asked. I shook my head. “No actually we made amends last night after she hit me” I told him. He smiled at me. “Your still beautiful, right Chase” Dylan said with Chase climbing all on him. “Yesth” He said with his little lisp not paying me any mind. “So I’m thinking fuck it, I should just come over today” He told me. I felt nervous a little. “I mean, yeah everything has calmed over here so far and daddy is happily in a relationship so he wouldn’t care” I said. I heard a knock at the door before it opened. I jumped but calmed down when I seen it was Grandma Rudy. “You scared me” I told her. She laughed and gave me a cup of something. I tasted it then made a face. “It’s eggnog with henny” She said. I laughed. Grandma Rudy always had to be drinking. “That’s that husband of yours?” She said. I nodded slowly but confused how did she know. “You wear your wedding ring like an idiot, if you trying to hide the fact your married child just take off the got damn ring” She said before sitting next to me. She snatched my iPhone. “Oooh I remember him, hey fine white chocolate you remember me?” She said smirking. I see Dylan nod and laugh through the camera. “Let me see that baby, Hey Grandma Rudy’s baby, he so cute, looking like coffee mixed with crème, a latte baby” She said sipping on her drink. I seen Chase look through the phone smiling. “You have a nice ass family Nessa; your daddy is going to kill you” She laughed before handing me my phone back. “Your grandma and my grandma shirl should meet” He said laughing. Grandma Rudy and I were on facetime with Dylan for an hour before he had to go because Chase was getting fussy and needed to eat. “So you and Vada made up?” She asked. I smiled yeah. “Does she know the rest?” Grandma Rudy said. I put face in my hands. “No, and I’m not telling her, it was in the past Grandma, were fine now” I told her getting up. If Vada found out we dated after she left for 2 years, and that I got pregnant, got an abortion she would be pissed at me even more.

 Nori:

  Ever since, I told Dre. I thought it would be easier for me, and I wouldn’t have to stress about hiding my pregnancy, but shit aint go to good when I told him. I been trying to listen to breathing exercises to calm down when I’m stressed. I heard a knock at my door. “Hold On!” I said. I put on my oversized jacket quickly and zipped it up. “Come in” I said. In walked Janessa. “You scared me Ness” I said. She smiled. “Sorry, How are you?” She asked. I shrugged. “I’m okay, just I’m always tired, he is always moving, I’m hungry. I want cereal at random times, and Doritos dipped in Ranch is like my go too, I just feel by myself” I stressed to her. She sat down on my bed, I sat next to her. She rubbed my stomach a little. “If things get to crazy here, you can come with us in L.A. I will help you” She told me. I smiled. She got off my bed, and opened the door. “I’ll see you downstairs” She told me. I stood up and looked at my mirror, and absurd my baby bump. My iphone started ringing. I noticed the number. I picked up the phone. I could hear him breathing on the phone. “Norielle” He finally said. “Yes”. “I, I want to apologize for blowing up on you, I was caught of guard”. He told me. I felt a tear drop of my cheek. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know how to tell you, I didn’t want to say it through a jail visit where we can’t even touch each other, I really need you right now Dre and you’re in there”. I said through my tears. “Nori, it was still fucked up man, I shouldn’t have questioned you but damn girl you showing, it ain’t like you just found out”. He said. “I was in denial Dre’, I didn’t know how far I was until I went to the doctor, I’m 5months, Im due May 15th.” I told him.  “You know what we are having?” He asked. I smiled. “A boy”. I could hear him getting emotional on the other in of the phone. “I um, damn I’m have a son that’s crazy, and you were going to keep him from me”. I sighed. “Dre, I was not going to do that, I was not trying to leave you nothing My doctor said NO stress, I love you, I want us to have this big happy family but first you focus on getting out and I’ll focus on getting him here”. I told him. “I don’t have much time Nori, I love you and my son man” He hung up. “I was going to give you some drank but I see you can’t drink” I turned around and seen Grandma Rudy standing by my door. I was about to cry. “Please don’t tell Grandma” I stressed to her. She put the drinks down and hugged me. “Stop all that crying girl, I’m not telling nothing. I ain’t no snitch baby, I’m here for you. Now having a baby is a big responsibility. They cry, they shit, they take up all your damn time, you can’t drink cause you got to breast honey it’s a whole damn job, are you ready for this?” She asked me. I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t know, I just know I love my baby already so much” I told her. “Well your still in school, that’s good, you got family that loves, although my daughter will shit a whole brick when she finds out good lord, but I got you baby” She told me. I nodded and hugged her. “Thank you, Grandma,”. “Baby get dressed, we are going out today”. She told me. I nodded and started to finish getting dressed.

 Narkim:

 I was sitting at the dining room table with Damien and Nylah eating Cereal when Nori and Grandma Rudy came downstairs. “So yall ain’t fucked yet?” I asked looking at Nylah and Damien. Nylah looked at me crazy, Damien smirked. “I mean I have tried” Nylah pushed him. “Boy please” I started laughing. That nigga D was blind asf La-La was feeling him and if he stopped trying to fuck old ladys then he would see how beautiful she was and how she been there for his dumb ass since diaper days but that aint my bizz. “Who fucked what?” Grandma Rudy said. She was lit. “Hey Grandma Rudy you got the juice, that good shit” I said. She winked at me and slid me a cup. “Oh its lit” She held her hand out. “I know you got that green for your granny now” She said. I smiled. “I gotchu G-ma” I told her. Momma walked downstairs looking nice. “Good morning babies” She said smiling. She kissed Grandma Ruby cheek. “Hi mama”. My mama said. Grandma Rudy looked at her suspiciously. “Who been in your draws Rice?” She asked my mama. “Ayye yo Grams nobody wants to hear about who been blowing my mama back out why we eating”. I told her. “Hush up boy how you think all yall got here” She said. My mom was humming around the kitchen, now she boujee, she never eats cereal so we all just stared at her as she made her some all smiley and shit. “Mommy you good?” Nori asked walking in. My mom nodded. “Mmmhm she done met somebody or got her groove back” Grandma Rudy said sipping on her “Special” drink. My mom normally would argue with G-ma but she just waved her off, yeah that’s nasty but somebody done made my mama happy, she aint get home till 2 am after she had been out all day, and Daddy left to go back to his apartment since they announced they divorce, shit was weird as fuck. My iphone started buzzing. It was Mack. I sighed and got up to go outside and take the call. Homie been scaring me since he pulled the strap on me, like made me one to get suited up too, just in case. I ain’t no bitch but I was scared to piss him off. “Yerr” I said. I could hear Mack laughing. “Nigga, don’t yerr me bitch, What happened to what’s up Bossman…anyways I don’t need you to fuck up on my shipment again young blood, I need you at 8pm asap, or I’m pull up on you again and it wont be pleasant, now I been letting you slide cause you my favorite but you missing out on my million dollar deal the other night hurt me, and as of recently I found out that you never got that brick to East Side a few months, but it’s all good just be there tonight get me this money, get me this merch and ill move up your pay and your position” He told me. My heart was racing. “Aight I got you, 8 pm don’t fuck up” I told him. He laughed. “You already know”. He ended the call. I heard the front door open, revealing my Grandma Rudy in her puffer jacket and a scarf drinking her liquor in a coffee cup. “Now I know you aint bout to roll one without your grams” She said. I smiled. “Nah I got you grams”. She nodded. “Nori told me you got yourself a range rover, and a condo in Buckhead”. She said smiling. I nodded. “Yeah, but keep that between us, I been saving at footlocker” I told her. She started laughing. “MJ used to be saving up at Taco Bell, lying ass nigga he was out there selling them drugs and being a want to be gangsta, I had to bail him out of jail so many got damn times, so I know when my grandkids up to no good” She told me. I passed her a blunt I had already rolled. We sat on the porch. “You know your twin is pregnant?” She asked me. I nodded. “Yeah man its tough for her with her baby daddy in jail and shit” I said. “How he get there?” She asked. I sighed. “Um they found a pack of cocaine in his car like a brick” I told her. She looked at me as I looked towards the drive way. “He was dealing too?” She asked me. I shook my head. “Nah, he like a honor student, Um G-ma don’t tell Nori this but I um I l had got scared cause the cops was checking my dorm for narcotics so I got scared, I aint want to go to jail so I noticed his car door was unlocked. I put it in his car”. I confessed to her. She shook her head at me. “That’s a shame, your sister struggling as it is to keep this secret of hers, you going to have to make this right or tell her, I can keep your secret Nari but you need to be a man and own up to this” She told me. I shook my head. “I can’t right now, she so damn fragile since she been pregnant, she would cut me off, or panic or lose the baby and I don’t want to stress her out, she stressed as is because of me”. I said. She passed the blunt to me. “Well it’s your mess baby, you figure it out”. The front door opened again, revealing Vada, Nori and Michael and Janessa, Damien and Nylah. I quickly put the blunt out. “Damn grandma Rudy you drunk and high?”. Vada asked. Grams shrugged. “Im what yall say lit?” She said smiling. Vada held her hand out. “What?” I asked. She smirked. “Pass me it, shit Im stressed I need to smoke” She said. “You got to share” Michael told her. She smiled. “Ofcourse”. “Aye yall mutherfuckas need to chill this my shit, but ima share” I said. They laughed. I lit the blunt and we all passed it around and we all smoked except Nori and Janessa. “So what’s the move?” I asked. “Well we all about to hit up the mall” She said. I nodded, “Yall have fun, I’m bout to go see my girl” I told them. After we smoked, G-ma, Vi and Mike, Damien and Nylah was smacked. They all got in the car with snacks and shit and pulled off. I started getting ready to go see my girl.

 Vada:

When we pulled up to the mall, the first place we all went was the food court. Nori and Janessa and I split up from Michael, he wanted to get gifts from me and didn’t want me to see. Grandma Rudy ran off cause her boyfriend Charles met her up here. Damien and Nylah went their separate ways, so it was just me and my sisters. “The last time we all hung out like this Nori was like 9 or 10, we were babies now were grown that’s crazy, how have you been Nori, I haven’t catched up with you since I got here” I said to her. She went through her phone and slid it to me, it was picture of an ultrasound. “I’m pregnant, I’m 25 weeks, and I’m having a boy. Oh my God that felt so good to get off my chest” She said. I was staring at her and the picture in shock. I saw her and Narkim when they were born, I helped change them and bath them and I’m fucking shook. “Wow, your going to be a mom” I said in a daze still high. She smiled and nodded. “That’s weird to say, just keep this between yall, I will tell everyone else when I’m ready”. She told us. I nodded. “Where’s the father?” I asked. She showed me and Janessa a picture. “Oh girl he is fine, where are you hiding him?” I asked her. “He is in jail” She told me. I looked at her crazy. “Come again?” I asked. “He was wrongly accused, but he will be out soon” She said. I almost smacked her. “Well, I hope everything works out, I don’t want you out here being a baby mama”. I said to her. “I’m getting married, well hopefully Michael proposed earlier this month” I said. Nessa and Nori smiled. “Oh my gosh Vi, I’m so happy for you” Janessa said. “He wants to have time to tell Daddy, you know how he is” I said to them. Janessa nodded. “Don’t we”. I was curious to know why she was single. “You live alone in L.A?” I asked. She slowly shook her head. “I have a life out there, but right now I’m keeping it private” She told me. We sat and talked and ate our food just catching up on sister shit. “Vada? Vada Richards?” I heard a man say. I bought choked on my juice. “Omari?” I said. He held his arms out for a hug. I got up and hugged him. He smelt so got damn good. “Damn girl you are looking fine as hell, how are you?” He asked. “I’m good, how are you?” I asked. He smiled. “I’m good, I’m sorry about that night when you left, I was hurt, I felt so bad I didn’t know how that happened. I never meant to hurt you” He said. I nodded. “It was a decade ago, Im over it”. I said. “I’m actually here with my sisters, you of course remember Janessa, and this is my baby sister Norielle” I told him. He looked at Janessa. “Hey, Ness” He said. I don’t know why but him calling her “Ness” pissed me off. “Well it’s nice seeing you” I said. He pulled out his phone. “Can I get your number maybe we can meet up again?” He said. “Well who is this chocolate drip?” I heard Grandma Ruby say walking hand in hand with her man Charles. “Grandma, you just going to say that with Charles right there?” Nori said. She waved him off. “Old bat is losing his hearing, Right Charles!” She yelled in his ear. He smiled at her. “See, now who are you?” She asked Omari. “Hi, I’m an old boyfriend, Im Omari” He told her. Grandma Ruby dropped her smile and let go of Charles hand. “Oh you that nigga, that broke my Vada’s heart and then….”. “Grandma!” Janessa said cutting her off. Grandma Rudy stopped what she was saying. “You fine boy but you trifling, plus Vada already has a man and he is way sexier than you keep it in the family having ass, come on Charles” She said walking with him, looking at me. “I um well” Omari said. I awkwardly smiled. “We can maybe catch up on drinks but like she said I do have a man”. I told him. He nodded. We exchanged numbers, we hugged again, and he walked away. Michael walked up behind me hugging me from behind. Nori and Janessa looked at me and I glared at them, they could read that I was telling them to be quiet.

Damien:

“So, who is this girl that you are keeping from me?” Nylah said. Laying on my bed with her feet on the wall. “Nobody, just a little bitch I’m fucking” I told her. She laughed a little. “You like her?” She asked. I shrugged. “I mean I like the way I feel around her, but it’s not love” I said honestly. “What is love to you D?” She asked. I shrugged. “I don’t know, like some real vibe type shit, homies and lovers” I said. She started to get up and face me. “Well you love me?” She asked. I looked at her for a while. “Yes, I do” I said. She smiled. “Like a friend, like a sister, like a girlfriend?” She asked. I sighed. “I just love you, I mean I’d beat anybody ass for you, and kill for you, and like die for you type love” I said to her. She looked at me and then looked down, “I love you too”. We looked at each other for a minute, next thing I know we was making out on the bed.

 “I um, I’m sorry La-La” I said to Nylah. She was putting back on her clothes. “Don’t be sorry” She said smiling. I smirked at her, “What are we, what is this?” She asked. I sighed, “Let me think for a minute” I told her. I walked up to her and kissed her. “I got you La and you got me, but if my moms find out we just had sex, you going to Nori’s room” I told her laughing. My phone buzzed, and I see I had a text from Kristen. “I’m outside, back yard.” I read. “I’m be back” I told Nylah. She nodded and grabbed her stuff to take a shower. I ran downstairs and went out the back door. I looked to see if Vada and Michael could see us, but their blinds were closed in the guest house. “Oh you making house visits now Ms. Madison?” I asked folding my arms. She looked at me. “I couldn’t think about our last encounter and I’m sorry for leading you on, can we please just move forward?” She asked. I inhaled deeply and nodded. “Sure whatever” I said. She looked at me shocked. “Really?” She asked. I nodded. “Yeah so you can get gone now” I told her. She stood there. “I um, I missed you” She said smiling at me. “Nah, we not doing this, you good fam you can go fuck the older version of me, and shit” I told her. She started coming on to me, doing that kissing on me shit. I was starting to fall for it. “He said you good!” I heard my grandma Rudy say. We both jumped. “Get your old ass away from my grandson bitch” Grandma Rudy said. She came out there with her henny bottle, and a blunt. Kristen ran off. “Spill it” She said to me sitting at the back-porch table. “I um, Nah you don’t want to hear it” I said to her. She gave me a stern look. “She’s my teacher, we were messing around until I found out she’ dad’s girl”. She started chugging her henny. “I aint drunk enough for this shit” She said getting up. “I aint gon say nothing to you knuckle head ass daddy, lets go inside”. She said to me. I walked upstairs, and I came in my room. “Want to go again?” Nylah said smiling at me. Now I know I got the juice, but damn these females go crazy for D’s D. “Let’s just chill tonight” I told her. She started laughing and nodded.

  MJ:

 I was up fixing a snack in the Kitchen, I couldn’t sleep since Danielle left place. My mom been out late these last 2 nights like she’s some 20-year-old girl what the fuck is going on in here. “Hey baby” My grandma said. “Hey Grandma Rudy”. I said. She was walking all over the place stumbling. She went to the radio set in the corner of the living room and started playing Boys 2 men “Let is Snow”. She started swaying around. “This my shit!” I nodded and laughed. “Alright grandma lets get you to bed” I said. She shook her head. “Can you take me to Charles house?” She asked. I groaned. “Alright let’s take you to your man’s house”. She packed a bag that she called a “Dick Appointment bag”, my grandma be tripping man. We got in my car and started driving, Charles lived just 35minutes away. “Where Dani?” She asked me. “Um with her family” I said. She nodded. “I’m happy yall still together even after you tried to get back with Gia”. She told me. I shook my head. “Let’s not bring that up grandma” I told her. “What? I’m glad you decided to end that break yall had to go back to her” She said. I shrugged. “I think She’s cheating on me Grandma, she been hiding shit staying out all night” I said to her. She looked at me. “That’s cause you think when yall had that break she fucked around on you too, sometimes women just need a man to be there, you got to be there” She told me. We talked a little bit before I dropped her off. I sat in the drive way of Charles house before I thought about what she said. I drove to Douglasville to Dani’s fam’s house to see her and my kids. When I pulled up at the house, I seen her, and some nigga laughing in the window. I was so fucking mad I wanted to drive through that damn house. “Fuck this!” I banged on the door. The door opened revealing my wife. Her smile went to a scared look. “Malcom, what are you doing here, I told you I’d be back tomorrow” She said. I laughed. “You up here with that nigga with my kids Dani!” I yelled. She shook her head. “Malcom please he’s my cousin” She snapped. “Man fuck you” I said. I got in my car and drove to some place familiar. I knocked on the door. “MJ what are you doing here?” Gia asked. “Can I crash here?” I asked. She nodded and let me in.

Characters:

Omari: Now (Lance Gross)

Mack: (Quavo)

[harryimaginedstories]

Words Aint Enough

It’s finally here.  The one shot was inspired by this song by Tessa Violet: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWAAFCZeIKM

Plot: Y/N never asked him to commit himself to her, but when Harry flirts with someone else it breaks her heart. 

Warnings: None aside from mentions of Sex. But there’s no smut. 

…. now….

I was in love with him. Whole heartily and knees weakening in love. Even though we were destined to fail. What Harry and I shared was special, a bond much stronger than anything else I knew. Or so I’d thought. From the moment we met he was magical to me and enchanting. I couldn’t get enough of him. He was addictive. And I would always do my best to keep him. I liked what he liked, learned to care for the things he cared about and felt proud whenever he discovered as a happy surprise that I enjoyed the same things he did. Harry liked me a lot. I hoped that maybe if I adapted more to his likings he would learn to see in me what I had long begun to see in him. A plan that couldn’t possibly work. Times passed and my heart grew heavier. Far too long my infatuation with him received little response and though I had tried not to let it hurt me and had kept on telling myself that some of his love was better than none at all, it’d pained me. There was only so much I could take, but to my misfortunate I’d realized too late just how much I depended on him. Too much. So far too much.

Harry had contributed a lot to me staying oblivious to his lack of romantic feelings for me. So many times he’d stolen a kiss to my cheek, had held onto my hand or had pulled me in to sit on his lap for no apparent reason at all other than the fact that he’d wanted me to be near him.

„You’re like my puzzle,“ Harry had murmured into my neck one evening after he’d pulled me onto his lap.

I’d giggled. „Because I’m confusing?“

„No,“ he’d laughed against my back, „It’s because we fit so well. With you sitting like this… ’S nice, you know?“

I wish I would have had the guts to tell him right then and there.

My fingers had squeezed his before leaning back into him. „Yes, I know.“

Always being the more confident between the two of us, I’d assumed those sweet gestures were him taking the steps I never dared to. Steps towards us being more than close friends.

But I’d been mistaken about quite a few things…

The first kiss he’d given me had been what doomed it all to change. His game of stolen touches and unspoken feelings couldn’t be played for much longer without me going insane over how much my feelings tore at my heart. And what had instantly followed our first kiss was much more. I remembered that morning so well. I had opened my eyes and found him asleep by my side. Unlike all of his other touches, which could have been excused, this hadn’t been an accident. Kissing someone all night and whispering words over adoration… Sleeping with them. That doesn’t just happen. Especially not when you’re as sober as Harry and I had been when we’d stumbled into bed and into each other’s embrace.

As I’d lain there I allowed my hand to reach out and touch his warm skin gently. Images of Harry’s face only inches away from my own had clouded my memory. His kiss, foreign as I’d never got to taste his lips before and then familiar at the same time due to how many times I’d been staring at his mouth. Every curve, extra soft section and particularly warm spot of his mouth… I’d got to know them.

The smile was impossible to keep from my gracing my lips. Harry… my Harry, was naked and asleep in my bed, wrapped up in my sheets while I was wrapped up in his arms. His chest was pressed against my bare back making me feel safer than I’d ever felt before and when I turned my head just a little bit I could press my lips to one of his many tattoos. Even his legs were intertwined with my own. There would have been no untangling us even if we’d wanted to.

I had been so incredibly happy that morning. This had been the very first time Harry and I had crossed the fine line between friends and something more, something tender and intimate. Though before him I’d always thought that said more, meant a proper relationship. I’d believed what followed sex between to people close to each other was a conversation over breakfast, a kiss on the doorstep and a promise for a first date. Anything that would lead to a boyfriend/girlfriend kind of commitment.

Harry had thought otherwise.

He didn’t want to take us down that lane. He had made the two of us stay on the same road, the one taking us nowhere other than confusion and heartbreak. Friendship.

I still rearranged everything on my plate in order to have time for him instead of somebody else and Harry enjoyed it openly. He could have my attention whenever he desired it and I did nothing to change my dependence on him.

„You’re always there when I call it’s great!“ I remember he’d said once. Something I’d taken as a compliment then and now very much regretted.

The only small change I’d noticed was in his behavior when we’d been left alone. Ever since he’d slept with me for the first time, Harry had began to not let one day we spend just between the two of us go by without leaning in for a kiss. It had never lasted long and quite often he hadn’t allowed his lips to linger for too long, but they had been kisses never less. It had sometimes made me laugh how his lips had find my own when I’d expected it least, catching me completely off guard at times. The newly acquired habit was one he had never spoken about and I hadn’t dared to address it, too afraid he’d stop all together if I’d mentioned anything. His hands had held onto mine more often now and interlocked our fingers mid conversation without having had any special reason to.

This new kind of affection from Harry had my heart swell and for a long time I hadn’t cared that he’d only let this side of him show when I’d been the only witness. It had made it feel like what we had, even without a label, had been ours and ours only. Back then I’d believed he wanted to preserve and protect instead of hide and keep a secret.

And now in retrospect, I realize I had been blind. Utterly and completely blind. And stupid, too. Why would Harry want to settle with just me? He had been able to kiss me, hold me and he have sex with me, all without having to make any kind of commitment. He had me and I was his. I didn’t ask questions that could have annoyed him and didn’t demand more attention.

I had made do with taking what he’d been willing to give and seemed happy - so why would he have wanted to change anything?

…. three weeks ago….

„Y/N? You home, love?“

My feet landed on the floor as I ungracefully jumped out of bed and hurried to the door leading into the narrow hallway of my home. Butterflies danced in my tummy.

My heart fluttered. „Harry?“

His head appeared around the corner and a smile grew on his lovely face, brightening both, his eyes and my mood. He was dressed in an unusual simple black shirt and his famous black jeans. I assumed he’d kicked off his shoes already as his sock glad feet carried him towards me with quick steps. With no hesitation he took my face into his hands, leaving me breathless.

„What are you doing here?“ I tired to ask but before I could finish the sentence properly he had his lips pressed to mine, kissing me with an urgency that made me tremble in his hands. A nervous giggle fell from my mouth in-between kisses and he laughed breathlessly before reconnecting us quickly. I could taste his eagerness on his tongue.

Harry’s mouth was hot and hungry, biting my lips to get me to open up for him, a command to which I followed happily. One of his hands left my cheek to wrap around my waist, assuring himself that I couldn’t get away, while his other palm cradled my face and held my head still.

„Are you ditching work for this?“ I mumbled.

Harry groaned and pressed for another kiss before whispering, „Would ditch anything for you.“

I laughed and my arms found their way around his neck so I could embrace him tightly and bring our bodies closer. My chest was pressed to his and my legs picked up so they wrapped around his narrow waist, making me gasp into his mouth noisily. Harry gave another breathless laugh and lowered his head so his face could bury itself into my neck.

„H-Harry,“ I giggled and flinched when his teeth grazed my skin, leaving a red and burning mark.

My fingers fisted into his hair. The open mouthed kisses pressed to my skin distracted me enough for me not to notice that he had moved our embraced bodies to my bedroom and before I could say anything he had me laying on the mattress and was leaning over me.

„Just what I needed,“ Harry groaned into my neck, before pressing kiss after kiss to my collarbones, sucking and breathing onto the tender skin. „You always give me what I need, baby. Fucking love you for that, you know?“

„Harry-“

„Always so good,“ he admired, arm straining as he held his weight above me. His green eyes found mine and for a moment I believed to see something close to adoration in them. My heart fluttered.

„It’s okay for me to touch you like this, right?“ he peered at me from under his long eyelashes, „You would tell me otherwise, love, wouldn’t you?“ Harry’s voice had turned gentle and quiet, for the first time waiting for me to give him a proper reply.

I nodded. My hand reached up to cradle his cheek and a sigh left my lips upon feeling his soft skin beneath my fingertips. „Yes, of course you can touch me like this, Harry.“

A wide smile decorated his lips when he received my whispered words of consent and he immediately leaned in for another kiss to my neck. His lips were warm as they suckled on my skin and I willingly turned my head to the side and onto my pillow in order to give him more room.

„Good,“ he murmured upon noticing and I shuddered when he breathed me in, „Always taking care of me.“

„You do too,“ I gasped, cheeks heating in a blush, „Take care of me.“

„S’my job, isn’t it?“ Harry replied, before his lips came back down to my own to kiss me tenderly. I wish it was, I thought, but before I could say anything further his hands traveled lower and began to pull on the hem of my shirt. I clawed at his back, closed my eyes and tried to forget all about the things he had yet to tell me.

„I really love you, Y/N.“

The next morning I awoke alone. Just like any other time when he came over. The „I love you“s were new and they hurt me deeply, because of course I knew not to take them to heart. Harry loved me, he did, but not the way I wanted him to. I hoped maybe that would change or that I would eventually just be okay with it.

…. one week ago….

„Wait so you slept with him?“

Riley stared at me, her lips stretched into a wide grin. She crossed her legs and brushed her long blonde hair out of her face. I shifted uncomfortably. I knew she would never judge me about any guy I’d gone to bed with, but still. Talking about this was weird.

I nodded hesitantly.

„Wow,“ she gasped, shaking her head. „He any good?“

The coffee burned my tongue and I hiccuped. „I’m sorry?“

„In bed,“ my friend elaborated with a laugh.

I blushed. „Oh.“

No way I would answer that. My fingers played with the rings decorating them and I nervously let my gaze wander away from Riley and around the cafe we were sat in. Outside the sky was cloudy. It was surely going to rain.

„Y/N,“ Riley laughed, „I’m not going to shut up until I get an answer.“

I groaned, my hands moving up to cover my face as both of my cheeks heated and burned. Maybe telling her hadn’t been a good idea after all if it meant that she was going to ask about details I wasn’t comfortable to talk about. I decided not to give too much away.

„Kind of-“ I began.

„Kind of?“ Riley laughed. When I looked at her she had both arms crossed over her chest and was shaking her head. „The Harry Styles is only average in bed? Now that would be a story for the papers to write about, wouldn’t it?“

„Riley!“

„Harry Styles - Trying to please, but does he deliver?“ she laughed loudly, envisioning what the headline sure to embarrass both, him and me, would sound like, „A magazine I’d buy for sure.“

„He’s kind of the best I ever had,“ I murmured, voice high and thin in embarrassment, but determined to defend him, „You didn’t let me finish.“

„I bet he does,“ she grinned knowingly, taking a sip of her own cup of coffee and dodging when I threw my napkin at her.

….

I could call Harry, right? He’d said he would be spending his evening with friends and therefore busy all night, but whenever I’d told him the same it had never stopped him from calling me and make me ditch my plans for him. Not that I expected him to do the same but I could at least try, right?

With nervous fingers I decided to just go for it and pressed the tiny phone icon next to his contact name.

After ringing six times he picked up.

„Hello?“

„Hey, it’s me.“ I could have cursed my voice for being high and nervous.

„I know, love,“ Harry chuckled quietly, „Your number is saved in my phone, you know?“

A smile graced my lips. Then his voice changed.

„I thought I’d told you that the lads are at my place today, Y/N. Why are you calling me?“

I shrugged. „I’m bored. Is there no way you could make some time for me?“

My voice failed horribly when I tried to sound somewhat seductive. But if Harry could be confident, then so could I.

Until I heard his exasperated sigh and I knew he was mad. „I told you. Not tonight, okay?“

A sense of guilt overcame me and my voice grew small.

„Sorry, I just-“ swallowing hard I tried to soothe his anger, „It would have been nice to see you, is all. And I thought asking wouldn’t be any harm, so-“

„Y/N, it’s alright. Just… don’t call again tonight, okay? I’ll text you tomorrow.“

With that the line went dead. Oh. My evening didn’t recover after that incident and I continued to feel awful for myself and for having disturbed Harry. I didn’t even dare to as much as snap chat him for the rest of the night.

…. earlier that night….

„Of course I love her,“ Harry grinned, dimples visible in his cheeks as he looked at me with sparkling eyes. My toes curled.

We were stood in a bar, Harry, Riley, me and the rest of our friendship group. The atmosphere was as busy as any bar was on a saturday night and I stayed close to my friends whilst sipping on my drink.

Hearing Harry’s words had me momentarily baffled. Had he really just told Josh that he loved me? The smile I sent him was wide, our eyes locking. This was the first time he’d spoken the words in front of somebody else other than me. All the quiet „I love you’s“, words I had always interpreted to be meaningless, he had spoken openly now. Breathing suddenly got difficult and my palms became clammy. Harry didn’t seem ashamed to have admitted that he loved me and I could have cried in happiness. Well… Until he went on.

„She knows I do,“ Harry continued proudly, breaking the gaze he’d held with me to turn his attention back to Josh, „She’s the best girl I’ve got. Better friend than you are for sure.“

And there we were again. Back with the stupid, most shittiest term he could have said after claiming that he loved me. My heart, filled with pride and warmth for a brief moment, sank to the very bottom of my stomach and I was overcome with utter disappointment. Friend. I was just a friend. Never anything more.

It didn't matter how many times I’d allowed Harry to sleep in my bed, had opened my arms for him to find comfort when he needed to or how often I kissed his skin and told him I cared for him, all I would ever be was his friend. How was this even remotely fair? The way he’d said it, too. The best girl he’d got. What was that supposed to mean? That I was one out of many more? He had others who weren’t as willing to please him as I was, which made me one of his better choices? The thought alone sickened me. I hadn’t made him commit to me truly so what exactly would be stopping Harry Styles from getting what he wanted from somebody other than me? How many more girls did he find comfort in?

„Excuse me,“ I muttered to Josh, motioning for him to scoot his chair back so I could get up from our table.

„Where are you going?“ I froze when I saw Harry try to get up so he could follow and I halted him by raising my hand.

„I’m just going to get some fresh air.“ Sometimes my emotions could be suffocating.

„Not alone, love. I’m coming with you.“

Harry reached me with two strides before I could argue properly and looked at me with a worried gaze. His body shielded mine from the other’s view and when he leaned down my breath hitched. But no of course he didn’t kiss me. My imagination was far too colourful. He’d never do such thing in front of his friends.

„Is everything alright with you, Y/N?“ He spoke lowly and I knew his words weren’t meant for anybody to hear but me.

I nodded. How could I have told him the truth? That the prospect of him being with other girls hurt? That him only wanting me every now and again wasn’t enough?

Harry pressed a quick kiss to my cheek. „We can leave if you want.“

„I said I’m alright, didn’t I?“

His brows arched. Not having meant to snap I looked away. And Harry, being Harry, understood.

With his hand pressed to my lower back he led me towards the exit of the pub in hopes of finding a quiet spot outside where I could calm down. The moment I breathed in fresh air I realized just how desperately I needed it. He made me lean against the cold brick wall, far away from the busy entryway. I felt immense relief.

„Better?“ he asked, a grin pulling on his pink lips, prepared for me to roll my eyes.

I smiled without really wanting to and tried to hide the fact that his constant worry about me was warming. „Better.“

„Good. Still want me to leave you alone?“

He stood before me, looming over my figure easily and looking down with a now cocky smirk on his face. I sighed and smiled. „No.“

Harry was entirely too close. And stepping even closer still. I could feel his body heat radiate off on me and hear him take in a breath. Both of his hands came up to support his weight against the wall and allowed him to lean in to my face. So close even his nose bumped mine playfully and his chest brushed mine. Hesitantly I raised both arms and allowed my hands to find his shoulders, drawing him in even closer.

„Harry,“ I whispered, sighing when his nose moved to touch my cheek, breathing me in. He shut his eyes. I felt afloat.

Until suddenly: „Harry?“

The voice was shrill and high, a sharp disturbance that pulled us right out of our own little world. Harry pulled away from me so quickly it was as though I’d burned him and my arms fell limp to my sides.

The woman whose voice had interrupted us stood few feet away from us, wearing a fire red dress. She was beautiful. Her features, her hair, the shape of her body. Everything. Harry’s eyes widened upon seeing her and to my horror I noticed a smile growing on his face, clearly very pleased to see her. He stood up straighter and turned his body towards the female.

„Kelly,“ he greeted, „Didn’t expect to see you here.“

She laughed. „How silly on your part, babe. Told you this was my favorite bar.“

Babe? I shrunk back and searched for his eyes. But he didn’t pay me any attention.

Harry chuckled and surprised me when he started to walk over to her, abandoning me without another word. As if I wasn’t there. As if he hadn’t just almost kissed me. She met him half way and wrapped her arms around his neck in a tight hug, allowing her face to press into his neck. Right where mine had buried itself so many times before. Without any right to I felt jealous. He had never mentioned a Kelly to me before. Who was she? Reluctantly Harry released his hold around her slim waist and took a step back to eye her pretty features. With his back to me his face was hidden from my view but hers I could see all too clearly. Her eyes sparkled at him and she even licked her lips, clearly proud of the reaction she caused.

„It’s only been two weeks since I last saw you and I missed you so terribly. How come? What is it about you that is so addictive, huh? What is it that makes Harry Styles so special?“ Her words followed a honey sweet laugh.

If only I knew the answer to her question myself. Perhaps then seeing him with her wouldn’t hurt so bad. How could this situation be happening? He’d had his lips pressed to my skin a moment ago. I’d held him. And now all he had eyes for was that woman?

„Well, what can I say?“ Harry shrugged while his voice adapted the tone I knew all too well; He was flirting. I was probably smirking, too. „I’m naturally enchanting.“

His hand came up and found her neck and my head spun when he leaned down. Did he just press a kiss to the corner of her mouth? And to her jaw?

She groaned. „Stop it, Harry, or we might have to pick things up where we left them two weeks ago, huh?“

I gasped. Quite a bit too loud. Alarmed Harry flinched and turned around as if he was all of a sudden reminded that I was still there too, witnessing there interaction with horrified eyes and a heavy heart.

Kelly curiously peered around his body, brows arched. „Who’s that?“

If only she didn’t look at me because I felt as though I was going to cry. He slept with her? Two weeks ago? But… My heart sunk. He’d been in my bed at that time, too.

I truly was one of many apparently. Harry’s distraught eyes met mine and for a moment I saw warmth in them.

„That’s Y/N,“ Harry replied so quietly I barely heard, „She’s a friend.“

Now I really was going to cry. I turned away, willing myself not to leave and cause a scene and hoped he’d just shut up before saying worse.

„Cute,“ Kelly commented after eyeing me up and down, then she turned her attention back on him, a pout on her red painted lips, „I’m getting cold.“

Harry turned back to look at her and laughed when she stamped her foot like a child. Kelly crossed her arms over her full chest.

„Shall we go back inside? Or do you have a better idea?“

„Actually, Kells, Y/N needs a quick break and I’m going to stay with her for a minute. But I’m sure I’ll see you back inside in a minute, yeah?“

Clearly displeased and trying not to let it shine through she shrugged. „Fine. You better come find me later then.“

A kiss was pressed to his cheek noisily, right onto the spot where I always kissed him and for the second time I looked away. This couldn’t be real. Harry wouldn’t… Harry wasn’t… like that.

He watched her walk back inside, almost admiring her, one of his hands coming up to touch his mouth, then he turned and made his way back to me. I swallowed hard and blinked away the water in my eyes, hoping he wouldn’t notice.

„A friend?“ I asked the moment he got close enough to hear, my voice thin and quivering.

Harry leaned his back against the wall next to me. „Kelly? Sort of, yeah.“

„No,“ I whispered, „Me.“

His breath hitched and his worried eyes found my sad ones. „Oh.“

Guilt was written all over his face, a guilt I felt was justified regardless the lack of commitment between us.

„Y/N,“ Harry began, „S’not what I meant. You’re the best to me, you know that.“

I hissed and shook my head.

Harry sighed. „You matter to me. And you know you do.“

„Is she why you chose this bar?“ I asked, ignoring his empty words, „Because you wanted to see your hookup from two weeks ago again?“

He shook his head. „No, love, that’s not-“

„Because it’s clear that I’m not enough for you so no need to rub it into my face like that!“

The first tears rolling down my cheeks caught me by surprise. There was no brushing them off before he noticed anyway so I decided to swallow down my pride and let him see what it was that he did to me. The constant game he played with my feelings, the let down… it was time he knew.

And he was surprised.

„Y/N,“ Harry gasped, „What’s going on?“

„How could I possibly be enough, right?“ I cried, „You can have women in red dresses and pretty faces. While I’m the plain and easy Y/N who-“

„Why would you be so upset about me saying hi to a friend?“ he interrupted, so loud a few heads turned to look at us.

Complete disbelief was written all over his face and his lack of understanding baffled me. His words stopped my ramble successfully. If anyone knew what Harry understood under the term ‚friend‘ it was me. He swallowed hard and rolled his eyes. „You’re silly.“

Anger burned my skin from within. When he reached out his hand to touch my cheek I batted it away forcefully with my own. „Stop belittling me! I’m not a child!“

„I’m not-“

„Yes you are,“ I argued, „Flirting with your whatever she is right in front of me, calling me a friend even after you’ve woken up naked in my bed exactly seven times so far, and after you said that you love- That you care about me. You’re constantly making me feel as though you can take me for granted anyway and that’s not fair!“

Harry took a step back. „You think when I tell you that I love you it’s me trying to belittle you? You think an ‚I love you‘ means that I take you for granted?“

I shivered in the cold air and crossed my arms. „I think you don’t mean it.“

He hissed and when he spoke next his voice was tensed. „Now you’re offending me.“

„No, you’re offending me! You fuck me, you leave me. You kiss me, you ditch my calls. And then you take the next step to tell me you love me, only for me to wake up alone once again! Who are you?“

Harry stared at me. Though I had been the one to ask the question, I knew he didn’t recognize me either.

„I don’t get anything! Not even a conversation to help me understand what it is that you want! And now what? This Kelly is supposed to make it clearer for me that I’m just one of many? Don’t worry I got that, thanks very much!“

Through blurry eyes I noticed how several people looked at us, curiously trying to eve’s drop on our argument.

„I’m a joke to you, aren’t I?“ I continued, „And the worst part is that of course you don’t want to commit yourself to me. I’m just your boring ordinary girl, aren’t I?“

Harry’s face crumbled and he tried to reach out for me but once more I pulled away. I couldn’t bear his touch.

„Simply the words don’t suffice,“ I sobbed, „I tried everything for you to want me, Harry. Ditched everything to have time for you, liked the things you like… Tried to make it easy for you to love me and when you said it you only meant it in that moment.“ My hitched. „Afterwards all I am is your stupid friend. I never mean anything more and I can no longer bear it.“

With those as last words I walked away, hurried back to the busy entryway of the bar, fought my way through the men catcalling me there and stumbled right into Riley.

„Hey I was just going to smoke- Wait why are you crying?“ Her eyes filled with concern and stared at my flushed face.

I brushed my cheeks with the back of my hands and shook my head.

„Y/N-“ Harry’s voice from behind me caught me by surprise and I flinched away from it.

I didn’t have to tell Riley what was going on for her to understand. The moment I’d trusted her with the knowledge of what had been going on between Harry and me she’d known that there would come a day where I’d run into her arms with tears in my eyes. I’d been blind, but she saw from the start that Harry, though kind and good hearted, would break my heart. When she spoke next her voice was warm.

„Want me to take you home, Y/N? I haven’t had a drink.“

I nodded. „Yes please, Riley.“

She wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pushed the both of us towards the exit, but Harry stopped us. „Y/N, love, please don’t-“

„Harry!“ That voice again. Sweet and sharp. More tears flooded my eyes and I whimpered as Harry’s lover came to a halt by his side. Her arm found his waist and her lips his shoulder. „You smell good.“

This I couldn’t bear. Full on sobs fell from my mouth now and though embarrassed by my sudden burst of emotion I felt such a pressure lift from my chest. Finally I could let it out.

„Not now, Kelly.“ Harry shrugged her off and before I could react he had both hands on my  shoulders. His eyes stared into my wet ones and he tightened his hold when I tried to move away.

What I read in his eyes wasn’t pity, thankfully, but fear.

„Let go,“ I whined, „You literally have somebody else throwing herself right at you! What do you want me for?“

Ignoring my words Harry went on. „Y/N, you know as well as I do that if you leave now we’ll lose each other.“

I sniffled and turned away. Harry’s brows furrowed and I knew my rejection angered him.

„Are you actually serious right now?You’re my best friend and think you can just run away after causing such a scene out there? You owe me a fucking explanation for that and all the accusations you just threw at my head!“

„You’re kidding right?“ Riley arched her brows. „You can’t seriously be this oblivious.“

„Shut it, Riley, you didn’t hear her,“ Harry barked, not breaking eye contact with me, „You offended me tonight, Y/N. And now your solution is to run away? Really fucking brave, aren’t you?“

I wanted to say something. I wanted to fight. But I couldn’t find my voice. With tears in my eyes I turned to look at Riley.

But Harry wouldn’t have it and pressed on. „Who are you to be pissed at me right now? You got no right and you know it!“

With those words the last straw was pulled. Riley wrapped an arm around my shaking form and before I realized it she’d lead me towards the exit and away from it all. The last thing I saw when walking out of the bar were Harry’s eyes. They held utter disappointment and very little sadness. My stomach turned upon watching him wrap his arm  loosely around Kelly’s thin form, pressing her into his side. Great. I’d ruined everything.

…. now….

It had taken several promises to call the next day for Riley to leave my apartment. She’d given me a ride and even been kind enough to hand me some of the chocolate bars she always carried around with her, but it didn’t cheer me up and I didn’t want any company that night either. I needed to think. And allow myself to be upset for a little while. But there was no peace to be found in being alone. The only thing I felt was my heartbreak and it almost took away my breath.

Three hours had passed since I’d left Harry at the bar with that woman and I was certain he had her clinging to his neck and sucking purple marks into his skin right in this moment. She’d lusted after him and he was bound to enjoy it. My cheeks were sore from how many tears I’d brushed away. So were my puffy eyes. Harry had told Josh that he loved me. Had he shut up after that sentence, everything could have turned out so different. But now I had lost him. I’d said things at the bar I was certain he wouldn’t forgive me for and after what he had said and done over the course of the past weeks I was sure I wouldn’t forgive him either. Not without him coming clean about many things and given his reaction to me confessing my feelings at the bar, I wasn’t too confident in him and I ever having a proper conversation anymore.

Things were complicated.

The sky outside was covered in clouds that promised rain and though it was long past 2 am, sleep just wouldn’t come no matter how long I laid there staring at the blank ceiling. My head was too loud. All of my worries practically screamed at me.

Suddenly my phone buzzed and to the greatest surprise on the planet it was my most loved smile that was illuminating the screen. Harry.

I jumped into a sitting position. What could he possibly want? At this hour? Oh god what if the voice expecting me wasn’t his warm familiar one, but the shrill noise Kelly’s throat made?

Horror overcame me making part of me not even want to pick up but my fingers acted before I could think.

„Harry?“

A pause. Then his rough voice followed in a drunken slur. „Who else would it be, huh?“

I sighed shakily and pressed the device closer to my ear. „Are you okay?“

„No?“ He sounded annoyed and desperate at the same time. „You fucking left me.“

„You know I couldn’t stay, Harry,“ I murmured, „Our fight… it got to me.“

„And I was completely unmoved by it or what?“

„Well, you were angered by it,“ my voice was small, „That didn’t exactly help.“

„Course I got angry at you for telling me you misunderstood everything that’s happened in the past,“ Harry grumbled, „Everything I said… did… all of it meant nothing ’cause you didn’t take it to heart. That pains me too, you know?“

I hissed. „I told you. Words aren’t enough. And your actions continued to contradict them. Kelly-“

„Don’t fucking mention Kelly now,“ Harry snapped, before continuing much calmer, „She’s got no place in any of this and m’not letting you misunderstand another thing and have yet another reason to be mad at me.“

My surprise was quickly covered by a sharp intake of a breath. I could tell by his voice that he had calmed down, but drunk Harry wasn’t far away from overly emotional Harry and so I had to choose my words with care.

„Where are you?“ I wondered, „Still at the bar?“

„Yes. But m’leaving now and coming to yours.“

Oh no.

„You can’t,“ I protested quickly, „We’re arguing remember?“

Harry groaned. „That’s stupid. And I don’t care either… Need you, Y/N.“

And with that he hung up. I let the phone drop to the side and threw my head back in a groan. If he even for a second believed that I would just forget about our argument and let him back into my bed then he was very much mistaken. The image of him glaring at me while I’d cried over how much his game devastated me, burned my mind and I prayed he wouldn’t stumble into my home to continue arguing.

When the door opened I flinched and refused to turn around. It scared me to face him. Harry kicked off his shoes and soon I heard his heavy steps making their way towards the living room where I was sitting. The sofa dipped under his weight when he sat down and I reluctantly dared looking at him, finding his lovely eyes immediately.

„Hey,“ he murmured. His eyes had red rings beneath them and his cheeks were flushed. Though he didn’t seem fully sloshed I could tell, especially smell, that he’d drunken quite a bit.

„I’m glad you’re here,“ I admitted in a whisper.

Now that he sat so close I saw no anger in his eyes and that relieved me greatly. It was very different than to what I’d seen in his eyes when I’d hurried away from him.

The tips of my fingers flinched when Harry’s hand brushed mine and my heart filled with warmth when he intertwined our fingers together regardless. He was always the braved one out of the two of us. Of course it was him who dared to reach out first.

„You got home safe?“ he wondered.

I nodded with a small smile. „Yes.“

„Good.“ Then after a pause he spoke once more, eyes set onto our interlocked hands. „I don’t like this distance between us. Even though it’s only been a few hours.“

„Neither do I,“ I replied with a small smile, „As you said. You’re naturally enchanting. It’s hard to stay away.“

Harry paused and briefly his eyes fell shut. „You misunderstood that, Y/N. All of what I spoke about with Kelly. I wasn’t- I didn’t mean to flirt with her. I really didn’t.“

Gently he pulled my hand, making me scoot closer to him and I sighed, no longer fighting the urge to lean into him. After all and no matter what, I was in love with him. Truly. Even if taking what he was willing to give and just make due somehow wasn’t enough anymore, I loved my best friend and needed us to find each other again before all was lost.

With my head on his shoulder I leaned in to press a kiss to his warm skin. His arms wrapped around me and with a small shriek I was pulled onto his lap, straddling him. Harry’s head nuzzled into my neck and for a moment I smiled. We still fit. Like a puzzle.

„I can’t continue on like this, Harry.“ My heart filled with fear when I spoke, „But I also don’t want to let go.“

He nodded and I suppressed a gasp of surprise when his lips pressed a soft kiss to my forehead. „Me neither, sweetheart.“

Though he was kind and gentle and had his arms around me, I felt tears in my eyes. I didn’t want to lose Harry, I didn’t want to let him go. But this game of his… it tore me apart. How do two friends come back from what we’d gone through? Was it even possible? A minute later my cheeks were wet.

„Hey now,“ Harry breathed against my skin upon hearing my quiet sobs, „No crying, baby. Please, not because of me. It breaks my heart.“

„I can’t help it,“ I whimpered, my hands squeezing his to reassure him that I still wanted him here and holding me, „All of this hurts. You mean so much to me and I know that accusing you of not caring about me wasn’t justified, but I need you to… need you to care more. I just really need you to care more, Harry.“

„But I do,“ Harry promised, „I already do. I know I’m shit at showing it and I know that many actions should have followed my many words, but I do care. You’re like… like my other half, Y/N. Without you I’m empty and seeing you hurt breaks my heart.“

I pulled away to look at him. „How is that true, huh? You sleep with me, then you sleep with her. You sleep with somebody I don’t know and after-“

„Okay I’m going to have to stop you right there.“ The arm around my waist tightened and I was pulled right back into his chest, embraced into a hug. His chest rumbled against my cheek when he spoke. „I love you. Every time I said that it was what I truly felt. And because of that I never slept with anyone other than you from the moment I first woke up in your bed.“

I arched my brows. His words, as much as they were everything I had ever wanted him to say, couldn’t possibly be genuine.

Sensing my doubt Harry shifted and made sure I was sat secure in his lap, pressed close to him. Almost as if he was scared, too, and determined not to let me escape.

„You were in my bed two weeks ago,“ I reminded him, „And according to Kelly-“

„According to Kelly she wanted us to continue where we’d stopped. And with that she meant me bringing her home ’cause she was too pissed to make it by herself.“

He grinned at me.

„You remember how I went out two weeks ago? Kelly,“ he began, „thought I would want to hook up with her, but I swear Y/N that I left the moment I knew she was safely in bed. She used to be friends with my mate George and I felt obligated to take care of her. Her memory might be a little blurred but I promise you, nothing happened. Why would I want her anyway, huh? You’re all I could possibly need.“

„Okay so you didn’t sleep with her,“ I muttered, cheeks flushed at his charming words, „Then why did you kiss her?“

Harry’s hands squeezed my hips and his eyes looked at me patiently. „And when do you think that happened?“

„At the bar when you abandoned me to talk to her. I saw you lean in and-“ My breath hitched. The memory burned.

„And I spoke to her and told her to leave you alone. What the hell did it look like to you? Like I kissed her?“

My hands settled on his chest and a small smile pulled at my lips when I felt his strong heartbeat beneath my palm. I didn’t want him to get mad but I needed my answers. And luckily he was willing to give them.

„Y/N, love, I swear I didn’t kiss her. It was dark, you were scared she’d be an ex of mine… you must’ve confused some things.“

I wanted to believe him. So badly but how could I? Of course Harry could read my expression. He rolled his eyes and shook me playfully by pulling at my hips.

„Trust me when I kiss someone,“ he began, wearing a confident smile, „it looks different.“ And with that his mouth came down to mine and the back of my head was grasped in his palm, bringing me in close. His lips were warm and my heart jumped happily in my chest while I breathed him in as good as I could following his movements. Harry laughed against my lips before moaning lowly and kissing me deeper not granting me a moment to catch a breath. My hands found his hair, his wound into mine and when his chest pressed to mine I gasped. I loved kissing him. The way his nose brushed my cheek and hands squeezed and caressed my skin… it was perfect. When he pulled away we were smiling.

„See how it’s not the same now, love?“ Harry chuckled.

I nodded. „It’s surprisingly quite different.“

Harry lifted his hand and I took it with a wide smile. Harry’s eyes locked with mine. „I know things aren’t resolved yet. There is a lot left I have to prove, but as long as you know that I truly and wholeheartedly love you, I think we could give this another try. Give us another try.“

I nodded. „If we start differently, then I would love that.“

„Absolutely,“ he agreed, „That’s essential.“

My heart burned in my chest and I squeezed my legs around his. „We’re still two puzzle pieces, see?“

„Of course we are,“ he replied and his entire expression lit up. And for the first time in weeks, things actually felt okay. I believed that there was good to come, believed that maybe we weren’t destined to fail anymore.

„I love you, Harry.“

And though I only whispered, Harry’s smile was bright. „I love you, too.“

Hi! I’m sort of back but probably not as frequently as I used to. I really hope you enjoyed this one shot as I put a lot of work into it.  Thank you for being so patient and kind, I love you all! xx  Here’s the rest of what I wrote:  http://harryimaginedstories.tumblr.com/post/144920695218/masterlist

[neganisking]

They found her in the woods.

A Negan&daughter idea thats been brewing in my head for some time now. Let me know if you want more. Enjoy. @negans-network

 Travis was having a spectacularly shitty day. He and his boys had been providing slim pickings lately- through no fault of their own as far as he was concerned. Especially seeing as the areas they’d been given had already been turned over a few times.

But these things have consequences and just that morning Simon himself had warned him that if they didn’t find something worthwhile soon, they would find themselves working for points again and that would simply not do.

So they looked again. Through the desolate buildings, every drawer, under every bed, every glove compartment. They spread out covering a long line a few acres across and trudged through the forest for something. Anything.

Which was when they found her.

A young woman, alone, so dirty she could have blended in with the mulch on the ground. She carried a large rucksack, stained and torn but still seemingly crammed full with goods. It was exactly what they needed. As though someone packaged her up just for them.

Travis alerted the others with the signal. A low whistle, easily mistaken for a bird, but he catches the way her shoulders tense up. She knew. He watched her slow her pace to a stop. She definitely knew. 

It didn’t matter though. She was out numbered and out gunned. Presuming she even had one. The way she reacted made him wonder if she belonged to one of the settlements nearby but even then, it still didn’t matter. Given the state of her, and the fact that she looked like a gust of wind would knock her on her ass, it was anyone’s guess.

Either way she belonged to Negan now. They all did.

The returning whistles of his comrades began to haunt the trees, echoing around the girl as they all began to close in. Today would be a good day for them. They needed this. And hey, maybe she needed it too. Things could always be worse after all. If she didn’t? Well too fucking bad.

Travis always found it morbidly fascinating to see how their prey reacted to being cornered. Sometimes they would try to run, maybe fight their way out. Those were interesting, entertaining sometimes too.  Even if they didn’t, each person reacted a little differently to the one before them and this girl was no exception.

Crossing in front of her, Travis watches they way she trembles in front of him. her chest heaving erratically, her eyes wide with a strange sort of vacant glaze, as though she wasn’t fully there. He wheezes a laugh, amused by the way she can’t even look up at them properly, jerking her head to the left and right taking them in from her peripherals instead. 

The whistling now, is so loud and so intense that it rings in his ears. Glancing behind her to see his men forming a circle around her, he raises a fist and the woods fall silent once again save for girl’s ragged breath. Poor little shit looks as though she might pass out any second.

With a sigh,Travis squares his shoulders and takes a few strides towards her, stowing his gun, seeing as there’s several others pointed in her direction. He could just tell though, gut instinct maybe, that she wasn’t a threat. This was going to be easy.

“Well hi.”

The girl barely moves an inch, staring at the ground by his feet still wide-eyed like a doe caught in the headlights. Her breathing uneven but growing more controlled as she got a grip of herself. Oh yeah, she knew what she was doing. Travis thought for a moment there that she might be one of the crazies, out on her own for too long but this girl still had something about her. Ducking his head a little to break into her line of sight, he smiles a little, taking another step towards her.

 “Excuse me honey but I just said hello. It’s not polite to just ignore me now is it?”

He gives her a moment and sure enough, the girl squeezes her eyes shut, sucking in a deep breath and pulls her head up high. Meeting his gaze with such an intense fire that it takes him aback for a second. He wondered what she had been though in life to have that look about her. 

 “Well, ‘aint you pretty.” 

The girl narrowed her eyes, glaring at him. Well if looks could kill he’d be a dead man for sure. Lucky for him he supposed. It was hard to be intimidated by someone who was shakin’ like a leaf anyway. Travis smirked and paused, trying to goad her into saying something, anything. He wanted to know what she sounded like.

“What’s got your tongue darlin’? No hablo Ingles?”

Travis hears a snort somewhere to his right. Probably Antonio but he couldn’t give less of a shit about his crap pronunciation right now. All he was really bothered about was getting this woman and all her shit back to Simon so he would get off their backs. All the posturing didn’t mean a thing right now anyway. He was only kidding himself thinking he had any weight to throw around.

Checking her over again for any sign of - anything, Travis realised that this stubborn thing wasn’t going to give them an inch. Well that was fine. They didn’t need to know. What they needed they could just take. Straightening up, he clapped his hands together finally getting down to business, noticing the way she flinched at the sound. 

“Alrighty then, suit yourself. First thing’s first Sweetheart. If you would be so kind as to hand over your weapons we can all get on with our day.”

With a long suffering sigh, she reached to pull a blade out of her belt loop. Another from the strap on her bag, dropping them both to the floor. Then, rather reluctantly, she withdrew a small pistol from under her thin jacket, holding it backwards so not to disturb any twitching trigger fingers. Travis decided that she must have been through this before, knowing how to make herself seem less of a threat. Smart girl.

“Toss it to your right.”

Co-operating nicely, the gun ends up on the forest floor. One of his men picks it up quickly and checks the barrel, shaking his head lightly. “Empty.”

Travis snorts - typical - some amo would have been nice. Especially seeing as one of the armories was raided a few weeks ago. But whatever, at least they has something. “Empty huh. Girl you are lucky we found you. That it? No more nasty surprises?” 

The girl shakes her head, opting not to speak yet again. Travis had to wonder if she even could talk. That would be a bitch. He loved talking. Speaking of which, he needed to get this over with. He always hated the next part. Left him with a bitter taste in his mouth, but that was the way the world worked now.

“So here’s how it is. As of right this fucking now, all of your shit now belongs to Negan. And, as of right now, you belong to Negan too so -”

“-Negan?” Cutting him off mid-speech, the girl widened her eyes as if suddenly seeing him for the first time. 

“Well fuck me. She can talk!” Travis laughed, squinting at her incredulously as a ripple of laughter circles round them.

Opening her mouth to talk again, she stops and closes her eyes for a second or two, huffing slightly as though she was struggling against herself. Under his expectant gaze, she eventually manages to stammer out the words. “Did you say Negan?”

Her voice sounds scratchy, dry as though she hadn’t found anything to drink lately. Given the state of her it wasn’t surprising. Hearing a hint of recognition in her voice Travis considered that maybe she was from one of the settlements nearby after all. Or better yet, maybe she was on the run from The Sanctuary - better for him that is. 

Nodding, Travis replied, raising an eyebrow. “That’s right sugar.”

“Where is he?” She blurts out, her voice laced with desperation. 

Furrowing his brow, Travis cocked his head to the side. “Excuse me?”

“Negan. Can you- Can you tell me where I can find him? Please.”

Now that was confusing as hell. No one ever wanted to see Negan. Ever. In fact, he felt sorry for those at the sanctuary who had to be around him almost all the time. At least at the outpost he had a bit of distance from him. Sure Simon was a hard ass but no one brought the sense of dread quite as well as Negan. 

Why the hell was a girl like that trying to find a guy like Negan? Maybe she was crazy after all. Shaking his head, he blinks a few times. “Doesn’t work like that darlin’.”

“No I - I need to find him.”

“Girl, you stupid? You don’t make demands. Not of me, not of Negan. You ain’t shit to anyone.”  Scowling, Travis raises his voice, making her flinch and cast her eyes down once again. Dammit. 

For a moment she just breathes, blinking and squeezing her eyes shut. He hoped she wasn’t going to start crying. He hated it when they cried. But no, thankfully, the girl got a grip of herself and tried again. “Please. It’s important. He’s - He’s gonna want to see me.”

“Who the fuck are you to be so special?” Travis was annoyed now. This was supposed to be easy but the girl was making everything harder than it had to be. But something about the way she was talking made him wasn’t right. Maybe he was missing something.

At his question she opens her mouth again but nothing comes out. Closing it again she looks back to the ground and shakes her head, as though she’d thought better of telling him. Travis scoffs and shakes his head. “Fuckin’ figures.”

She takes a tentative step forward, her eyes desperate and hopeful. “Please.”

It crosses his mind that Travis could make this girl beg for him all pretty-like. Might make him feel good is someone was kneeling at his feet for a change. If she was going to ask like that then he’s pretty sure he could get her to do anything for him under the promise of seeing Negan - why he would never understand. All the things he could have her do - but no. No this shit was getting out of hand as it was. They needed to get going. 

“Tell you what. You play nice and listen real good and I’ll think about it okay?”

She stares at him for a long moment, as though trying to read his face, before nodding resignedly, eyes squeezing shut yet again before looking at him expectantly. Shit she really would do anything. What had this kid been through?

It didn’t matter. She didn’t matter. “Take your bag off. On the floor.”

He watched, growing more detached by the second, as she lowered her bag to the floor, swaying with the weight of it. “Good. Empty your pockets too.”

A couple of rags and a broken watch later she was finished. He motions to the man behind her who stows his own gun and walks toward them pulling out a couple of cable ties from his pocket. “Now, hands behind your back.”

As she complied, Travis motioned to the surly man behind her to come forward. “Alderman, start take her back to the truck. Hey! Nicely.” He added as the girl was yanked in the right direction. Travis watched how she let herself be pulled about like a rag doll, like she had accepted her fate. What was it with this chick?

With the girl on her way he rounded up the last of his men. “Mckenna go through her shit. See if there’s anything good in there. Last thing I need is to take back another mouth to feed without bringing in any actual supplies.”

Tony appears to his right, stooping down to pick up the broken watch from the forest floor. “What the fuck was that about? Crazy shit. You gonna tell Negan?”

Double checking his own gear before they started walking back, Travis shakes his head. “Nah. I’ll tell Simon when we get back. He can decide what to do with her then. I don’t know what her fucking game is but I ain’t pissing him off and interrupting his day.”

“Shit!”

The men immediately drew their guns back up to full height, startled, to find McKenna sucking on his hand, crimson flowing out the side. 

“What, what is it?”

“Fucking cut my hand on something. Stupid bitch had broken glass at the bottom of this thing.”

Tony snatched the bag from his grip and peered inside. “It’s a photo frame genius.”

Rolling his eyes, Travis started making his way towards the truck. Today had been a good day after all, Simon would be pretty happy.

“Wait.”

“Oh for the love of - What now?” He had had just about enough of today’s shit. It was time to go back.

Turning round to look back at his men he finds three of them crowded round Tony looking at a piece of paper in his hand. 

“Holy shit.”

“Is that?”

“What is it? Lemme see.”

Leering over what he now realised was an old photograph, ice ran through Travis’ veins. Negan really would want to see her. “Crap. Everyone back to the fucking truck. Now!”

Sprinting to the truck they caught up with them just in time to see her stepping clumsily into the back. She flinched as she saw them running towards her. If he had thought it through, maybe he would have been more considerate but he had a theory to check.  If this went badly they were all dead.

“What’s your name kid?” Travis  barked at the trembling girl who responded like clockwork.

“Grace.”

Realising how useless that question was, Travis growled to himself. Think damnit. He realised how little he knew about Negan and considered showing her the picture but an idea came to him. 

“What’s your mother’s name?”

 Her eyebrows furrowed, another sign that told him she had more about her than she was letting on. “Why?” She hesitated.

“Answer the fucking question!”

“Lucille. Why?“  She repeated, this time with more fire than before.  He had no doubt she was a fighter but he had bigger problems. 

 "Mothefucker.” Turning his back on her he slammed the truck door shut, cutting her out of the conversation. 

 "Hey!“

 Ignoring her, he turns to his men who are looking to him for direction. Any other time he would feel proud of himself but right now he just felt sick. “Parker. Gimme the radio.”

 "Why?“ 

 "Fucking hand it over.” 

He flipped it to channel 7 and, taking a deep breath, he called out. “Arat?“ 

It didn’t take long before a disgruntled Wigan answered back. "Who is that?”

 "It’s Travis.“ 

 "Kinda busy here Travis." 

 "Yeah. I know. But I need to talk to Negan.”

Waiting for her reply, McKenna breaks the silence that had fallen around them. "That’s really his kid?“ 

 "Looks like it.” Travis nodded grimly.

 "Wait. Maybe we can use this.“

 Narrowing his eyes, Travis squared his shoulders and took a step towards the larger man.  No way was he going to let some asshole with a grudge threaten his status. Scavenging was better than a whole lot of things.  

"You better not be talking about what I think you’re talking about Tony." 

Arat’s voice crackled over the speaker cutting him off. "You know Negan is fucking busy today Travis. No interruptions. We’re in the middle of something." 

 Sighing,  Travis weighed his options. If it was his daughter, he’d want to know immediately. It was too much to risk not doing it. He had to. "Believe me. I know. I wouldn’t be bugging you unless it was important okay. He’s gonna want to know about this. Right fucking now.”

 "I’m just saying-“ Why did Tony pick today of all days to be an asshole? 

 ”-don’t. Just don’t. Y'know what happens if we fuck this up? We’re dead. Okay? We’re doing this the right way and playing it safe. Fuck. Maybe we’ll get something good outta it.“

 Arat replied, sounding a little too curious for his liking. "What is it?”

 "It’s private.“

 "Are you fucking kidding me?”

 "It’s Negan’s personal business and I don’t think he would appreciate me spreading that around alright? Now would you go get him? Please?“

 After a long pause, the radio came back to life.  "Fine. It’s your head.”

 "Thank you.“ About time.

 "You sure this is a good idea?" 

 "What if it’s a trick?” Bunch of babies. Waiting till he put his neck on the line before offering any advice.  Bastards.

Clenching his jaw, Travis had had enough. "Yeah and what if it isn’t huh? Too late now anyway so shut up.“ 

They waited with baited breath,  a sure sign of the one thing they all had in common. Fear. Travis spared a look inside the truck to see the girl starting down at her lap. He wasn’t sure how much of that she had heard but it didn’t matter. 

A thick drawl cut through the silence making the hairs on the back of Travis’ neck stand up.  

“Who the fuck is this?”

[50funny]

Mage: Chapter 29 – Imprisoned

Written By 50Funny

Part 1- Awakening 

Alex’s eyes slowly began to blink open. The dull dreary lights of the strange room still managed to burn his long closed eyes. The overwhelming sound of a cheering crowd filled his ears as he continued to wake up.

“W… what? Where am I?” croaked Alex.

“Ahh good, you’re awake,” came a familiar voice from the corner.

Alex turned his head to see Mr Morhan standing in the corner of the room. Behind him stood Liz and Mr Thucho.

“Wh.. what is this place? What did you do to me?”

“You should be familiar with this place; after all, you did break into it. As for what I did to you, that’s fairly simple,” Mr Morhan said as he gestured towards Alex's neck. “I’m sure you’ve noticed your new accessory.” 

Alex suddenly became aware heavy weight around his neck. He reached his hand to his neck and felt a cold metal collar locked tightly onto him.

“That’s a special little device I had imported from Lemia. It will inhibit your ability to perform magic, as well as doubling as a shock collar. To keep you in line.”

“What the hell are you going to do to me?”

Mr Morhan raised his finger to his lips shushing Alex as he listened.

“And now. We have a very special battle for you all,” came a distant call from outside the room.

“Looks like your up. This should be fun,” Mr Morhan said as he turned and began to walk towards the door. “Put on a good show for us would you.”

Mr Morhan, Liz and Thucho exited the room leaving Alex alone. Without warning the wall in front of Alex began to rise. Blindingly bright light began to stream into the room.  The sound of the cheering audience got louder and louder drowning out all other sounds. Alex looked around confused as he stood up. He walked out into a large circular arena at the bottom of a deep hole. Bright coloured lights swirled around the room putting on a show for the audience surrounding the arena from behind the safety of the chain fence. 

“For the first time introducing, Alex! A failed assassin sent to kill Mr Morhan. Now he’ll have to fight for his life… and for your amusement!”

Alex looked across the arena as an identical wall to the one he had walked through began to pull open.

“And now, returning to the arena after his escape attempt. An old fan favourite… Tony, aka The Force!”

The crowd’s cheers grew louder as Tony walked out onto the other side of the arena.  Alex looked on in shock as he realised what was happening. 

“Tony!?” Alex yelled in confusion.

Alex words were drowned out by the cheers of the crowd. Tony stared across at Alex with death in his eyes.

“This will be a magical battle so be ready for some carnage!”

Alex heard a clicking sound come from the collar. He suddenly felt a surge of power as his magical ability’s returned to him.

“Are you ready? 3! 2! 1!... Begin!” called out the Announcer.

Before Alex had the chance to react, Tony launched himself towards him at an unbelievable speed. He let loose a flurry of blows towards Alex who dodged between them effortlessly. Alex launched himself backwards and up onto the wall before kicking himself off the wall and landing behind Tony. He let out a series of light huffs 

“What the hell man. What’s gotten into you?” Alex yelled over the crowd.

“I’m sorry but I don’t have a choice. You don’t know what it’s like in here… its kill or be killed,” Tony replied as he turned to face Alex. 

Tony once again launched himself towards Alex. Alex raised his open hand up as Tony grew closer. Tony’s fist collided with Alex palm stopping him in his tracks. Alex cocked his fist back behind his head.

“Get it together man!” Alex yelled as he sent his fist flying into Tony’s chest. 

The crowd let out a rigorous cheer as Tony was sent flying towards the back wall. Tony crashed against the wall with a loud thud. A plume of dust was kicked from the impact completely obscuring Tony’s body. Alex took up a fighting stance as he waited for Tony to emerge. Tony launched himself forward. He began to circle Alex waiting for an opening to attack. Alex raised his hand up as a cloud of smoke began to form his sword in his hand. He followed Tony’s movements with his eyes as he continued to circle around him. Without warning, Tony shot forward towards Alex side. As Tony grew closer Alex shifted to the side, stretching his leg out.  Without a chance to stop, Tony tripped over Alex's leg sending him crashing to the floor.

“Oh.. That looked like it hurt!” yelled the Announcer.

Tony rolled around onto his back. Alex pointed his blade at his neck. The pair stared at each other with their eyebrows angled seriously.

“Just do it. If you don’t then things will just get worse for the both of us.”

“This is its folks. Let’s see some violence!”

Alex continued to stare down Tony as he considered his words. He looked around at the cheering crowd that surrounded him from all angles. Their cheers turned to a brief confused silence before being replaced by a loud booing as Alex blade disappeared in a puff of smoke. He looked back down to Tony and reached his arm out to help him up.

“Come on get up already,” Alex instructed.

Tony looked up at Alex for a moment before reaching his arm up to meet Alex. As their hands met, the collars around their neck let out a series of quick beeps. Fear sprung up in Tony’s eyes as the collars let out a series of electric shocks. Alex and Tony grasped instinctively at their necks as they were sent crashing to the ground.

“I’m sorry for the cop out folks. I’m sure we’ll make it up to you in a moment,” the Announcer yelled over the crowds booing.

Alex and Tony continued to spasm on the ground. The gates on either side of the arena began to pull open once again, and two heavily armoured guards entered. As the crowd continued to boo, the guards slowly approached the pair. They reached Alex and Tony and wrapped their arms underneath the pair and began to drag them off deeper into the prison. 

Part 2- Behind Bars

The guards threw Tony and Alex violently onto the cold concrete floor, exited the cell and locked the heavy metal doors behind them. The pair laid on the floor completely exhausted for a moment. Their muscles ached and skin burned from the electric shocks. Tony slowly pulled his aching body from the floor, letting out a long pained groan as he did. Alex turned his head to see Tony standing above him, holding his hand out to help him up. Alex reached out his arm to Tony’s and pulled himself up.

“Thanks man,” groaned Alex.

“No problem. Sorry about… you know, trying to kill you and all that.”

“Don’t worry about it, I get it.”

Alex looked around the dimly lit, dank prison cell. Around him stood many of his fellow inmates. They watched the newcomers cautiously waiting to see what would happen next.

“What’s up with all of them?” asked Alex.

“Don’t worry about it. They’re just trying to gauge your strength in case they have to fight you,” replied Tony as he turned around. “Come on follow me, I’ll show you around.”

Tony walked off down the long cell block followed shortly behind by Alex. The other prisoners continued to watch for a moment before silently going back to their previous activities.  The pair passed by several lumpy uncomfortable looking beds with springs and pieces of sponge popping out from the mattresses.

“The beds are pretty disgusting, but they're better than the floor. I wouldn’t count on getting one though,” Tony explained.

Alex shifted his gaze from the beds to a small off-white porcelain bowl sitting up against the wall. The toilet had no seat and was covered in specks of dry, brown muck.

“They clean that every couple weeks or so,” said Tony.

“That’s something, I suppose.”

“Don’t get too excited, they cleaned it yesterday afternoon.”

“Think I’ll hold it,” Alex sighed in dismay.

The pair arrived at the far wall.

“And this is our little slice of heaven. It ain't much, but hey it’s home,” Tony said sarcastically. “So, what’s the plan here? How are we gonna break out of this place?

“Don’t get your hopes up. I’ve only been here a few minutes. I haven’t even started on an escape plan yet.”

There was a sudden clicking noise from the other side of the room as the door to the cell block unlocked. The door swung open letting in a deep hearty laughter. A large muscle-bound man entered the room with a guard on either side of him, all laughing to themselves.

“And so kicked him over the edge, and that was the end of that,” the large man said trying to hold back his laughter.

The group all burst out laughing once again as they walked down the hallway by the cells. The large man turned to see Alex watching on from behind the bars.

“Hold up,” the man said as he stopped dead in his tracks. “You’re the newbie aint ‘cha? Mr Morhan’s special project. You gotta lotta nerve doing what you did out there, but ‘spose I should thank you for that. Made them appreciate my show all the more.” 

“I’m sorry, but should I know who you are or something?” Alex asked with a cocky tone.

“Ha, you would do well to,” the large man continued as he went back to his march. “Just don’t try that little stunt in the ring with me. Trust me, it won’t end well for you.”

The man and his escort exited through the opposite door.

“Who the hell was that guy?”

“The Anvil. He’s been a prisoner here longer than pretty much anyone else,” Tony explained.

“Prisoner? He seemed pretty buddy buddy with those guards for a prisoner.”

“This place rewards brutality, and if you’re brutal enough, this place can stopping feeling like a prison.”

The door once again let out a slight click as it was unlocked. The door swung open revealing Liz standing behind it. Liz walked into the prison block quickly locking eyes with Alex standing on the other side of the room.

“Alex!” Liz yelled as she ran towards him.

Liz reached the far end of the prison block and leaned on the bars.

“Liz, what the hell’s going on here? Why did you sell us out to Mr Morhan?” Alex said as he approached the bars separating them.

“I’m sorry but I had to. He already had you dead for rights; it was all I could do to keep myself out of this place. Anyway, I haven’t got a lot of time. Mr Morhan will think something’s up if I’m not back soon. I’ve got a plan but it’s gonna be hard to pull off.”

“I’m sure we can handle it,” Tony added as he approached the bars.

“Glad to hear it. During Alex’s battle next week, that’s when we’re gonna do it.” Liz said as she pulled out a rolled up sheet of blue paper from her pocket, and began to unroll it. “These are the blueprints for the building. The main generator is located right here. During your battle, Bip is going to sneak in here using the vent and make his way to the generator. In the middle of your battle he’ll over load it causing a blackout. I’ll use the cover of darkness to get Mr Morhan’s controller for your collar and use it to deactivate it. That’s when you’ll have to steal one of the guards collar controllers and make your way to the cellblock to free everyone else.”

“Why would we free everyone else? Won’t they just get in our way?” Alex interrupted. 

“Maybe a little, but they’ll also keep all of the guards busy. Once you’ve freed everyone you can manage you’re gonna want to head for this elevator,” Liz said pointing down at the blueprints. “Once everything starts to go to hell, Mr Morhan is gonna make his way towards the exit. If he manages to get outside of the building he’ll activate a total lockdown and wait for everyone inside to starve to death, so you’re going to want to intercept him before he gets there. Once you get there I’ll separate Mr Thucho from Mr Morhan and you can get to getting some answer’s out of him. Understand?”

“Sounds like a plan to me,” said Alex as he looked down at the blueprints.

“Can we go over it again,” Tony added.

Liz’s watch let out a series of quick high pitched beeps. She looked down to her wrist.

“No time, I gotta get back before Mr Morhan starts to suspect something. Keep the blueprints, just make sure no one finds them,” Liz said as she turned and began to walk off down the hall, waving behind her. “Keep safe, ok.”

“Yeah, you too,” Alex called out after Liz.

“Lights out!” crackled a voice from a speaker high in the corner.

Almost immediately, the lights cut out plunging the prisoners into complete darkness.

“Come on Alex, let’s get some shut eye,” Tony said as he laid down on the cold concrete floor.

Alex joined Tony on the floor, shuffling around to try and get as comfortable as possible. His mind continued to race as he thought about the day’s events. He let out a long sigh and closed his eyes, preparing for the week stretching out ahead of him. 

________________________________________________________________ Thank you for reading chapter 29 of mage.   If you like what you see consider checking out my AO3 at this link https://archiveofourown.org/users/50Funny to see all new chapters 3 days early. If you feel so inclined please consider following my tumblr for all updates and other tid bits. Until next week, have a good day

[deargoditsgrace]

2018 WRAPPED.

Just finished reading 2017′s recap and even though it’s only been a year, a lot has changed. In 2017 I grew a lot spiritually, which led me to the Philippines, struggled with relationships, but ended up finding someone even more amazing. My family dynamic got better, and we learned to trust each other and support one another in our struggles, and my friends remained my constant. I started 2018 with my friends who, in my opinion will be my friends to the end. We might not catch up regularly, but often enough to know the importance of the relationship. And I’m not just talking about Ekim and Eyang, but everyone else too. I also started and ended the year with Andrew, mi amore. Thinking back, the year felt so short, but a lot has happened in a year.

I’m definitely not the same person I was in 2017, and prior years. I’ve grown in ways I haven’t before and was tested in even harder ways. In terms of faith, I face planted, took an L, dove straight into the deep end, complained, and almost straight up gave up. It was hard. It’s hard not being in the home environment that cultivated your faith from the start. It’s hard to share with faith with people who haven’t been there for the worst times, and it’s hard to open up. It’s hard to meet people on the same wavelength and even then, its hard. It’s hard to stay faithful when the world drags you into the mud and gives you enough reasons to leave it behind. My faith suffered a lot this year. I forgot to trust God with everything..my life, my relationships. But in the silver lining of it all, I know he still showed me grace, because he allowed me to have grace for CCPC. He allowed me to give it a chance and find people, women who lift me up, who encourage me and one another to fight the good fight and remind me that I’m not doing this alone. I found a women’s ministry group that meets every Wednesday. It’s not the deepest bible study, but the women in the group make it worth going to every week. We’re all at different places in our lives, yet we still can all relate and pray for one another. And through it I was able to get closer to Esther mainly but also Shalom.

Our CG last year also ended in pieces. People, including myself, not caring anymore. But Andrew, my Andrew, stepped up and became a CG leader. Woah.. never did I think he’d be one so soon in our relationship, but it was pretty amazing to see his courage throughout it all. I know it stemmed from wanting to contribute since he’s been a member for a while now, but he’s really taken on a lot of responsibility and hasn’t complained about it once. Our CG is definitely something special and feels so different from last year. I feel like we all genuinely want to get to know each other and encourage one another, and I hope we continue to keep that energy going into the new year. I’m looking forward to all the adventures our CG will take, especially the ski trip coming up in a few weeks.

Moving on to Andrew and Relationships. It’s been a ride, for sure. Never in my life did I dream of dating someone so seriously .. just kidding I did, but I never really dreamed of the reality of it all. The first six months were challenging and a whirlwind. I started working, I was working the weirdest hours, which was tough on both me and Andrew, we went to a wedding, and we did cool things. But during it all, I don’t think i let myself be 100% with him knowing that he could leave at any moment, that his attraction for me could disappear at any moment and that it wouldn’t last. Thinking of those things kept me on my toes and didn’t let me fully enjoy the person I was with. I’m not sure when that all changed, but when my mental state changed, it felt like all the weight and pressure of just being in a relationship also completely disappeared. So now, I love it. I love spending time with Andrew, and probably enjoy his company more than he enjoys mine. We got a routine and I like it. But i really do love spending the time I do with him, and everything just feels right. We argue, but we always try to talk it out, we’re sensitive to each others’ feelings, and yeah... I honestly can’t wait for what the future holds, but I imagine it’s really bright.

For all the Esthers and I, we all got into relationships all around the same time. WEIRD. It’s weird to think that even happened but also weird to think that a couple years back we were all thinking about totally different guys. Like our boyfriends now weren’t even in the sphere. AT. ALL. But i think it worked out perfectly... wow. There were definitely some testing times in our relationship, but I’m kinda glad we all disappeared at the same time so that we can all reappear at the same time. I’m grateful and blessed to have friendships like these... and I really do hope to continue to foster them in any way that I can.

OH CRAP. A huge thing for me in 2018 was traveling. I got to travel a lot and to opposite ends of the earth. In March I got the opportunity to go to Singapore with Addie and Syd. Eat at some amazing places, and stay at even greater places. Honestly the food wasn’t as good as the hype, minus the soup dumplings, but now I gotta go to Taiwan for the real deal. But I got to travel to Malaysia, stay at an amazing hotel and an even better spa program. See the hustle of Singapore and how the crazy rich live, and even stay at Marina Bay Sands- the kind of hotel people shoot documentaries of. The experience was so rich and never in a million years would I have imagined going to a country like that so soon. But like something Andrew said was, well if you wanna go, just make it happen instead of making excuses for a while and never going.

In April I got to go to Chicago for Hannjoo’s wedding. The wedding was so sweet and even though I never met Dan before it was so palpable how much they loved each other and that was the best sight to see. I hope whenever I get married, the man I marry loves me as much as I hope to love him. But before and after the wedding we got the chance to explore Chicago and all it’s offerings. We tried the best burger I’ve ever eaten at Au Cheval, played ping pong at a ping pong bar, and even watched a movie. For a city, I was so pleasantly impressed by everything, the architecture, the history, and all the things that make it a “cool” city.

In May, I went to Vancouver/Whistler with my parents for my graduation trip. I finally grew up to realize hiking aint so bad, then we hiked the hardest and most exhausting hike ever. The snow hadn’t melted all the way so we walked half the trail on snow. And it wasn’t even just a layer, it was ... i don’t even know how to explain it, but it was rough. It was a lot of fun traveling with my parents though. We rented this sick Jeep, and it felt so right to be in it. ahhh the dream car for me and mom. But we didn’t even fight! Appa had to leave early but his flights kept getting canceled and/or delayed so me and mom stayed in our AirBNB to make sure he got home okay. Even with that, the whole trip was really nice and relaxing. But I never knew there were so many rich Asians living in Vancouver.

In late September, Andrew and I went to Colorado for his birthday. The day we got there we drove up to Boulder so that we could hike the Rockies in the morning and dayumm that was tough. The altitude got us, but the views were incredible. All I remember is that I couldn’t stop talking about how beautiful everything was. And it’s not like I haven’t seen mountains before, but the mountains there weren’t like the mountains back home. The rocks are grander and because of the altitude there aren’t a lot of trees. We also fought, and made up. I also realized we are compatible traveling buddies, and we ate the best croissants in the whole wide world.

That’s it on travel, but I’m not done cause the FOOD of 2018 was pretty epic. We tried our first Michelin star at Rose’s Luxury, our second in Chicago, and our fifth back home at the Inn. I ate more than this, but it was a pretty epic year in terms of the Michelin guide. Now, back to eating 2 for $5 at McDonalds, and scraping our monies together.

I ALSO GOT MY FIRST OFFICIAL JOB. like it’s legit and I get paid via direct deposit every Saturday. C R A Z Y. The job itself is in the industry I wanted, and I honestly got everything I thought I wanted, but a couple months in, I can kinda tell this isn’t where I see myself in the long run.

So now, onto my 2019 dreams, wishes, desires....

1. I hope to CONTINUE on my faith walk with Andrew. We had some ups and even some downs, but all in all, God was gracious to us. I hope that we can reflect on his faithfulness going into the new year in hopes to seek Him even more than we did in 2018. In addition, I hope to create bonds within our own church to help us grow and mature in every way that we can, that we can lean on our brothers and sisters so that if we falter we have people to continue to encourage us to keep fighting.

2. I want to take this real estate situation seriously. I’m not sure if I’m even meant to be a realtor, but I should try.

3. I want to be a better daughter to my parents. I want to honor them better, think of them more, and care for them in ways i haven��t been able to

4. In the same way I want to be a better sister to my friends, especially the Esthers but also to everyone in my life.

5. I want to live in the present but be aware of what I do and the implications of it. I want to be more self reflective and more often. So through that I want to be more accountable for my actions and change if i need to.

6. Grow. In any way. aka go to the gym, create discipline.

2019, I don’t know if you’ll be easy or challenging, but I hope this year is another good year for me. If not, I hope to really grow from these experiences.