#we don’t judge here

[mircsy]

Is it wrong to admit that I wanna squish your Antinous and Poseidon like a stress ball?

Naaaaah, you’re good

[ayyyy-le-simp]

It’s sad and lonely nights like these when I crave angst Codywan fanfiction

[ocean-breeze-pier]

Trans guy talks about the issues with male hatred

It’s EXTREMELY frustrating the way that specifically cis women treat me as a trans guy. We are often acceptable targets for hatred against men because we don’t have the ability to oppress like a typical white cishet man (especially if you’re like me and don’t pass) so they can get away with it.

The more I think about why it’s so frustrating that the second a cis woman finds out I’m a man (after already misgendering me because I don’t pass), I get vilified and hit with sentiments that shitty men are hit with regardless of if it’s true or not.

It bothers me because a huge reason I didn’t come to terms with being a trans guy for awhile was because of my own feelings towards men. I’m a survivor of abuse from (mostly but not limited to) cishet men and I was so traumatized from those experiences that one of my initial trauma responses was a really intense hatred of men.

I didn’t know how to process what was done with me. Not only that, but I was in a vulnerable place with no support system and super lonely. I discovered this community online that made me feel less alone (radfems). They would validate my feelings about men which felt good at the time but in the long run, wasn’t healthy. I started to be even more fearful because of the lens I saw the world through. I was even more scared to be around men and struggled to interact with them.

At the time, I identified as nonbinary. If you know anything about radfems, they’re more often than not transphobic. So as a byproduct I did end up seeing that stuff from time to time despite my focus on during my time as a radfem being stuff concerning cishet men specifically. During this same time period it is no coincidence that I suppressed my gender feelings even more, presenting feminine despite it feeling hollow. I wanted to fit in. I felt like this is what I had to do. I felt like since men are evil (radfem rhetoric, not what I believe now), I cannot associate with masculinity. That if I relate to men in any way I’m a traitor and it’s an insult to me as a woman (bc ofc they saw me as a woman).

These circles are insanely predatory. It’s one big echo chamber. Even though at the time I was involved in that community, I still identified as nonbinary. That never stopped. But I was so self hating that I would let them all misgender me and refer to me with an emphasis on my agab. I tried to be lowkey about my identity. I knew if they found out, I would be ostracized as I had seen them do to others. They were either super pitiful towards trans men or they were very hostile towards them, viewing them as gender traitors who were just trying to escape oppression. Plus I was so ashamed of who I was and desperate to fit into a community where my trauma towards men was validated. This is why when radfems interact with me now in the present day, I am so over it. Like I was already fell for this shit once. I’m not going to again. Fuck yall from the bottom of my heart.

This combined with how my abusive exes would treat me led to me hardcore repressing my gender. The abuse I experienced was not solely about my gender, but it played a huge factor. These men would invalidate me so much that to this day, my internalized transphobia is horrific. They really tried to push me to be more feminine and would refer to me in invalidating terms. Telling me I would always be a woman and just needed to accept it. The constant misgendering. It really mirrored that of how the radfems treated me. Like who I was came down my genitals. Like I didn’t have a say in who I was. That they could tell me who I was.

So when I see cis women hit me with the same types of shit that radfems would say about men it takes me back. The fact I get treated similarly to the way abusive men get treated except simply on the basis of being a trans guy… I think it’s fucking capital W Whack.

I haven’t ever opened up about this on here because I’m ashamed of that time in my life. But I want any trans radfems to know it’s possible to get out of that. You can find community elsewhere. To them, you’re just a pawn in an argument. They will never see you for who you are.

And to the man hating radfems. I really do understand. Men have done fucking horrible things to me. But when I used to be stuck in that mindset, I was fucking miserable. Yes, sexism is a HUGE problem. But treating every single man like a threat is not going to solve anything, and by extension you’re vilifying marginalized men.

You can talk about sexism without acting like every single man is evil. The association between evil and masculinity prevents trans men from realizing who they are (which I’m sure you’re glad about) but it also sucks in general because if you hate how shitty men are, don’t you want a version of masculinity that’s not toxic? If you think men and evil are inherently linked, then what? No one can get better. I don’t want to live in a world where the only option is femininity like I used to believe. Femininity ≠ good and Masculinity ≠ bad

When you’ve experienced such toxicity, it takes awhile to untangle yourself from those harmful ways of thinking. For some people, all this shit is just discourse. For me, it shaped my life in ways I’m still suffering the effects of.

TLDR: Hatred of men + trauma played into me not accepting that I’m a trans guy

[girasolka]

what I think is great (although it’s also terribly sorrowful and heartbreaking) about the dynamic between the boys is how their age gap is handled

I mean sure they both are portrayed as actual silly teens and if they died at the age of 16 their brains hadn’t fully developed and all that crap about hormones and body chemistry yeah BUT during these years together they have been gaining more and more experience and they process it and they surely are shaped by it and can’t be considered 16 anymore whenever they want it or not

and what I wanted to say is that despite all these afterlife years count more or less as actual years there is absolutely nothing creepy about Edwin being more than 70 years older than Charles because he didn’t have a chance to gain this experience and develop during his years in hell since there were no social interactions no academy studying not even time to calmly think about anything other than how to be safe and get out of there. these 70 years must have felt as eternity but at the same time it was all the same (fear and pain and despair) so it didn’t give Edwin the possibility to develop mentally but on the contrary conserved him in his 16-year old self

so when he meets Charles (I think it being some time after escaping the hell but no more than a couple of months) they get an opportunity to grow up mentally together and they are equals in this growth

[withthewindinherfootsteps]

Wei Wuxian and Narrative Agency – Part One

For Xiantober Day One: Genius… albeit stretching the prompt so it refers to MXTX and MDZS itself, but at the end of the day it’s still about WWX – so no harm done!

(Part Two | Part Three | Full version on AO3)

The narrative is a very active player in MDZS’ story. How it presents information, what it chooses to show and omit, often reflects important facets of its themes and characters – Nie Huaisang, for instance, is so good at hiding behind his mask that not even the narrative can hold him accountable; the present day’s storyline as a murder mystery and the slow reveal of information about the past both prompt the reader to think critically about the truth of events, when the importance of thinking critically is an important theme; and the dangers not thinking critically (and instead basing conclusions on rumours without much evidence) are shown by tricking unquestioning readers into the very same trap the cultivation world falls into, as the information given by the title, summary and in-universe rumours – which contradicts how we see actually Wei Wuxian act – turns out to be false.

But nowhere do I love this trait more than in its treatment of Wei Wuxian – and, more specifically, in its way of emphasising his agency. We’re not just told how much his active choices define his character, and we’re not just shown this in-universe through his personality, worldview and the events he causes. I’d argue that this aspect goes a step further, and shapes the structure of the out-of-universe narrative as well.

There are two main ways this happens: one, in how the aspects of Wei Wuxian’s life that are shown and hidden directly tell us what’s important about his character (which is good writing but isn’t necessarily tied to this shaping of the narrative), which is what we’ll explore today; and two, how what’s shown and hidden reflects what Wei Wuxian himself prefers to dwell on, resulting in the narrative respecting his own thoughts and feelings on matters (which very much is tied to it). We’ll explore this at a later date.

But as for now – let’s explore my favourite aspect of MDZS.

(Here, narrative agency will be considered the ability of a character to meaningfully influence their events and the story they’re in.)

Tragedy, Circumstance, Choice

If we simply look at Wei Wuxian’s backstory in a vacuum, it seems almost typically tragic. His  parents died in circumstances beyond his control, he was left alone as a child with nobody to care for him, he was forced to grow up fending for himself on the streets, he was faced with abuse when he finally was taken in… as with all typical woobies, everything simply happened to him, and none of it was good. It’s just another example of the lack of agency being used for sympathy points, right?

…Except there’s one problem with that idea. We don’t actually see any of this.

It would’ve been easy to start the flashbacks during these times. We’re telling the story of Wei Wuxian in (largely) chronological order, and these are likely important experiences for him! But instead of starting in his street days, or evenat the moment Jiang Fengmian took him in*, we start at the lectures in the Cloud Recesses. That’s not even something mentioned in, and therefore something that’s able to disprove, the rumours at the start of the novel. So why is this the case? 

Well, there are multiple reasons – the main one being that MDZS is also Lan Wangji’s (and Wangxian’s) story, and having the flashbacks open with their first meeting is very satisfying. But I want to focus on something else.

This period doesn’t have to be shown, because what happens to Wei Wuxian, especially out of his control, isn’t what’s important about his character.

We’re not even at Lotus Pier here, where Wei Wuxian certainly has more agency than he would’ve had as a young child, but where the harm caused by Madame Yu is still completely out of his control. Here, he has agency! Though there are consequences, he is free to act, and what happens to him is a result of those actions and not of circumstance. Yes, he gets punished more than others who also take those same actions (due to classism); yes, it’s not his choice to be picked on by Lan Qiren in class (yet look how he responds, twisting the situation to his advantage and ending up tricking Lan Qiren into letting him leave, which is what he wanted to do. He is not at all helpless here!); yes, these choices have been influenced by his learned mindset from Madame Yu that punishment is arbitrary and will happen anyway, so you may as well do what you want regardless. But there is cause-and-effect here. It’s not circumstantial tragedy.

Therefore, instead of our first impression of past!Wei Wuxian being that of an unfortunate woobie, it’s of someone who has the freedom, ability and will to choose and act (and that’s after these initial tragic events have taken place). This is compounded by the fact that before we see any of his backstory, we get a similar impression of him in the present day.

If the purpose of his tragic past was to earn him sympathy points, to make us pity him due to how much he was influenced by events out of his control, this would’ve been a terrible way of going about it… and it’s this that betrays the true reason for its existence. Because now, the flashbacks instead show us how little these tragedies define who he is! From the very start, Wei Wuxian isn’t someone defined by circumstances out of his control, but rather by who he is as a person and by what choices he makes in the present day (which is both a mindset in-universe, and a nice little out-of-universe detail that lines up! Because out-of-universe, this means he’s not defined by sympathy points from a backstory, but rather by his great character writing… aka, by who he is as a person and what choices he makes). And this refusal to be defined by tragedy is a conscious choice on his part, too – but we’ll explore that more later. 

The important thing is that this idea of Wei Wuxian isn’t because of what exists in his past, it’s because of what parts of his past are shown to us (as well as what he chooses to do, with agency, in the present). 

Now, if this relationship between what’s displayed and what’s omitted was just a one-time thing, I might’ve considered it a cool detail or a nice way to establish a character, but not something the narrative is actively focusing on. But it’s a pattern that continues throughout the flashbacks. What, arguably, are the two other most important times in Wei Wuxian’s life where he doesn’t have enough agency to meaningfully influence his circumstances? His three months in the Burial Mounds (before escaping – he managed to assume some control of the circumstances but not enough to substantially reduce his suffering in his time there), and his loss and death during the First Siege. And we’re not shown either of them! We skip to when Wei Wuxian has emerged from the Burial Mounds and is torturing the Wens, or we skip to the present day – both times he has agency once more, because, again, what he’s like without it doesn’t matter enough to be shown. 

Furthermore, I’d argue this does actually contrast the other tragic events we see in Wei Wuxian’s later life. Things do go horribly wrong, but it’s either due to choices he knows the consequences of (see: rescuing the Wen Remnants in the first place), or instances where he still has some ability to act in the situation and influence it within the limitations. If he’d had no ability to influence circumstances at Qiongqi path, he would have died in the ambush; if he’d been unable to do that at Nightless City, he would’ve died then, too (of course Lan Wangji helped him escape as well). The attention drawn to him losing control of his actions in both instances is very interesting, but intentional or not, it’s still his actions influencing the plot. And that influence happens to be detrimental. The very ability to act and influence, at a base level,  is not taken away (though, of course, that doesn’t make these events any less tragic).

So, so far, the narrative seems to be telling us that the ability to act and choose is key to Wei Wuxian’s character. And it’s doing it through omitting his moments without agency in favour of instead showing us his moments with it. 

Let’s see if this is echoed in the text itself before we go further – because even with this pattern, nothing would end up mattering if Wei Wuxian’s agency wasn’t actually that important to the story itself. But thankfully it is, and that first impression we get of Wei Wuxian in the Cloud Recesses turns out to very much be accurate! Though there are defining circumstances out of his control that occur, such as the massacre of Lotus Pier, the majority of the important events of his life are due to his own choices. He didn’t happen to be forced to cease traditional cultivation and solely use guidao, didn’t happen to lose his Golden Core in a fight with Wen Zhuliu or due to some force in the Burial Mounds, it was his own choice to give it and his spiritual powers away. He didn’t tragically happen to get targeted by the cultivation world, it was a result of him acting on his morals and protecting the Wen remnants (a choice which he was fully aware of the implications of). He isn’t a protagonist to whom things simply occur, and that activeness and agency is my favourite thing about him. 

That’s not to say that the times Wei Wuxian doesn’t have agency, or feels like he doesn’t have any, don’t exist at all, either – but they are rare enough to have attention directly drawn to them in his internal narration:

Or else what could he do? He could do nothing. He was powerless. Lotus Pier had been destroyed, both Jiang FengMian and Madam Yu were gone, and Jiang Cheng had disappeared as well. He was the only one left, alone, with not even a sword in his hands. He didn’t know anything, he couldn’t do anything! For the first time, he discovered how little his power was. In front of something as large as the QishanWen Sect, it was the same as a mantis trying to stop a chariot. - Chapter 59, EXR translation

(And even in this circumstance, note that he still does force himself to act – to carry on searching for Jiang Cheng, to place his faith in Wen Ning – and does accomplish his goal (albeit with the help of others)! So even in dire situations, he isn’t simply passive. This is actually also the case with his time in the Burial Mounds, almost certainly the First Siege, and even his days on the streets as well (Chapter 20: he did actively fight with dogs to get food despite their danger and his growing fear of them, rather than just waiting and hoping to somehow receive some more). He can’t influence or immediately influence his circumstances, but that doesn’t stop him from trying.)

Overall, although they do influence him, Wei Wuxian is very much who he is in spite of his circumstances, not because of them. We’re shown the importance of his agency both in-universe by the major impacts his choices have on himself and the plot, as well as by narrative presentation – important periods where he lacks the ability to meaningfully influence anything are often mentioned but not directly shown, which suggests that such moments and circumstances aren’t as important to understanding Wei Wuxian’s character as moments where he does have this agency are. And I’d argue this works very well. Depending on the version of the story you consume, you may end up having different interpretations as to how much circumstances were at play nearer the end of his life – but nobody comes out of MDZS thinking about Wei Wuxian, the poor bearer of yet another generically tragic backstory.

(Part Two | Part Three | Full version on AO3)

—

*We are shown this moment in more detail in Chapter 23… but even then, it’s through the framing of Wei Wuxian remembering Jiang Yanli’s narration, not through a flashback proper or even him remembering the experience itself!

[afantasyoffiction]

k my loves my darlings my fellow 911 fans my compatriots in the weewoo firefighter show

can everyone pls pls pls take a deep breath and stop yelling at each other for one single second

my loves fandom is about love and community if you see something you don’t like you can disengage. now apologise to ur sister or u will have to be put in time out

[bobcatblahs]

Now announcing my new project:

Hand-Stitched Hearts

A Royal-AU NineRose adventure!

Find Chapter 1: Run- here:

[halforresterluvsford]

“No.”

“Stanley, you didn’t even think about it! Just give it a minute!”

“Okay, let me think on it.”

“…”

“No.”

“Stanley!” Ford throws his arms up, exacerbated by his brother’s refusal to even think about his request. To even consider what he had just presented him with. Stan was just making a big deal out of it, that’s all. He’s not even seriously considering Ford’s suggestion to implement a new kink into their sex lives. And he chose such a tame one too! It’s not like he brought up oviposition. Not yet anyways. He just wants Stan to dress up a little, really. Technically you could call it roleplay.

“Stanford, I’m not putting a dog tail butt plug in, shaking my ass, and going “woof”.” Stan deadpans, squinting at his brother’s honest to god pouting. Don’t get him wrong, it sure sounds interesting, stoking a heat in his core, but that good old societal shame is getting to him. Sure fucking his twin brother is one fucked up thing, but acting like a dog? Wouldn’t that be too far? Too weird?

“But, Stanley, you’d be such a cute puppy! All bushy tailed a wide eyed, ready to be bred. And besides, I wouldn’t expect you to bark.. Maybe growl and pant. Moan definitely. A yip-“

“Stanford.” Is that a blush on Stan’s cheeks? Perfect!

“Oh please! Just give it a try! If you truly don’t like it, you know you can safeword out. Come on, I know you like being my good boy, is it so far fetched that you’d like being my good puppy? Hmmm?” Ford knows he’s got Stanley now. Such a kicker for praise kink, and trust, Ford plans to praise Stanley all night long, even if they have to call off the puppy play. Having one kink out of alignment with each other isn’t going to make or break them.

“…fine. But! I say the word and we stop. Dead. Got it?” Stan punctuates his sentence with a firm poke to Ford’s chest, mostly to hide his embarrassed flush. He does like the idea of being so good for his brother, getting his head rubbed and then the animalistic breeding-

Stan shakes his head, trying to rid those thoughts and focus on the now. Ford’s grinning high and wide, his own cheeks flushed with excitement. Shit. What has Stan gotten himself into now? Knowing Ford, it’ll be both equally sappy and degenerately nasty, but still so damn hot.

“Perfect! Let me get your ears, collar, and puppy pad! Oh! And some bottles of water! We’ll need plenty!”

“My what now?” But Ford doesn’t hear him, yammering about lube and other various toys to use during their rendezvous. Stan just blinks as Ford walks out the door, feeling the slightest pang of regret, knowing Ford’s going to go all out in this.

Moses does Stan love him, though.

[risoria]

I’m so goddamn tired. I hate it here so fucking badly. I hate it here. It’s 2024. We know better and yet we are pushing these ads and these dogs everywhere, STILL - why do we as a society love animal cruelty so much?? I will never understand.

I’m going to be brutally honest - people are stupid. People will not open their phones to google for three minutes before buying an expensive dog, that lives for 15 years - and media affects people IMMENSELY. Remember how everyone and their mom got a husky (an extremely hard dog to keep, because they’re working sled dogs) after game of thrones? How every single child got a rat after ratattouille, and how most likely a lot of them were abandoned? This happens with frenchies and pugs as well because they are featured EVERYWHERE.

”Oh wow its so ugly i love it ;;” ”Oh it’s so cute I want one!!” No. Dogs who need surgery where you cut their nostrils open just to be able to breathe a /little/ better is not something you should want or support. Animal cruelty is not something you should want or support.

This is a chart for assessing stenotic (pinched) nares in brachycephalic dogs. The open nares seen here are not even actual normal nares - this is what they look like in non-brachy dogs.

There is no other way to say this: these dogs can’t breathe. That’s why they make noises like little pigs - they can’t actually get sufficient air into their lungs because their airways are so closed. They are partially suffocating - every single minute of every day.

Here’s the reasons why:

- the nostrils are closed. you can see how hard and panic-inducing it is to ”breathe” like that by pinchig your own nostrils for a little while. it’s very common to have surgery to cut the nostrils open - but even if it might help a little bit they’re only ONE reason why these dogs suffer

- the face is flattened - this is why the tongue cant actually fit in their mouths, which of course makes the tongue constantly dry and uncomfortable. they also have teeth problems because, again, the teeth literally cant fit in their mouths. they also can’t cool down the way dogs normally do by panting - because the area in their nasal cavity where this happens is extremely small. this, together with the breathing issue, makes them extremely prone to over-heating and dying as a result.

- their soft palates are, again, too big for their mouths and make the dogs’ airways more closed as a result. surgery to cut this soft tissue away is common.

- their laryngeal sacculis are often inverted - think of a pocket of your trousers that is turned inside out. these sacs are located in the back of the throat and further obstruct the airways

- laryngeal collapse is also not uncommon

- their tracheas are VERY thin. That’s why breeding for a different type of bulldog and pug etc is important and thats why ONLY opening the nares and lengthening the snout is not the answer - if the trachea is the dimension of a straw, they will still be unable to breathe properly - and you can’t assess this without image diagnostics, of course…

- because these dogs struggle to breathe and are prone to over-heating they can have trouble exercising and this easily get overweight. The extra fat will collect around the neck, amongst other places, and this can pinch the anatomy of the throat and airways of the neck even further

- some symptoms of BOAS (brachycephalic obstructive airway syndrome) that people find ~cute and unique include:

-> snoring loudly and snorting when breathing. This is because of the obstructed airways and means they struggle to breathe both while asleep and while exercising/walking

-> ”smiling” (pulling corners of the mouth up) and rolling the tip of the tongue is something seen when the dog is labouring to breathe

-> these dogs often find toys to keep in their mouths when they sleep - this is not normal, they do this deliberately because they can’t breathe.

-> these dogs are the ONLY dogs who will be happy about having a tube inserted into their trachea while undergoing surgery. Normally you remove this the second the dog starts to come to - because it is extremely uncomfortable having essentially a straw inside your airways - but for brachy dogs they enjoy being able to breathe fairly comfortably and they will sit fully awake with the tube for long periods of time. It’s heartbreaking.

PLEASE don’t get these dogs and please call out advertisements etc promoting them - because we all know that they are already extremely popular and that marketing sells even more of them. It’s downright evil, and it’s animal cruelty in the name of ~marketing. Yes of course there’s a lot of them in shelters needing adoption - BUT it’s very important to know what you’re getting into. A lot of these dogs DO need surgery to be able to breathe at least partially, and these are invasive and very expensive.

This was just off the top of my head but here’s a link with more info -> BOAS in dogs

[sak-supernatural]

I find it absolutely hilarious that you can just go on and see the actual number of bookmarks (including private) on your fics from the stats page. Like I know you’re bookmarking my smut fic it’s ok no need to be shy, I wrote it. Let me know your ao3 sins like I see you knowing mine. I know you’re someone out there somewhere doing it (let’s be real here).

[harrywavycurly]

I love how open you are about reading absolute filth ❤️

[lenoredovescovey]

The fact that Jordan Chiles is being punished for the judges fucking up when she should have had the higher score to begin with is so rage inducing.

[apricustar]

u r wayyyy to invested in this show i think

god forbid a woman has hobbies !!

[blueskyheadleft010]

When Warframe 1999 comes out, fully expect me to just vanish into a nostalgia cloud for like a week.

I have wanted nothing more than to sit in a desolate mall eating pizza and listening to evil Backstreet Boys sing their siren song of peace and love. I mean, there’s also a love quest and motorcycles, but honestly I’m just here for the grub…

[muontron]

I do this thing in my head that’s a little cringe but I talk to my “mentor” figures in my head like they’re right there. Not like my irl mentors but …. Um. Newton and Galileo and stuff like that. People who I look up to, that most certainly have no correlation to me at all.

For instance— Something goes wrong while I’m woodworking and I stare at the wall and go: “did you see that, archimedes?” And sigh like a sitcom character. A laugh track plays in my head as I am the object of jest

[edge-oftheworld]

I don’t really talk about it much on here because I’m extremely lucky to be able to understand exactly what’s going on in my body, but it’s scary to live for years as someone who Gets Things Done in a way your peers don’t really understand, be putting effort into so many things you care about, and then suddenly lose the ability to do not only that but also basic tasks overnight after a deadline, and bit by bit after many. it’s scary getting really irritable sometimes to the point of violence, just when you were meant to be celebrating the rewards from your hard work, the only impact of the work you did that you can see is that you overdrafted your ability to do anything. including have a basic conversation without getting grumpy or crying. and your body is going to make you pay it back with interest, you already know that, but you don’t know how to start filling yourself back up. you’ve only ever enjoyed being on the grind, hard at work on exciting things.

I don’t know how many of you have been through the kind of burnout that’s years of needing 12hrs of sleep a night but with terrible insomnia, waking up to what feels like a hangover for weeks on end with little relief then rinse and repeat without having a single drink, feeling too sick to eat and needing to exercise to emotionally regulate but being unable to, anxiety that doesn’t come from worry but you’ll pick that up too at some point, dissociating every time you try to do mentally taxing tasks that you’re PAID for so it takes an hour of grounding yourself just to get five minutes worth of productive concentration, falling asleep the minute you feel a little safe by being in the presence of loved ones. but I suspect I’m not the only one.

I’ve had songs for the energetic and angsty times leading up to this. for the exasperated times and the brain fog and the times where all my limited energy is tied up in feeling things. that I need to, need to acknowledge, but it’s overwhelming and I live in a haze for weeks as a result of. songs telling of the kind of youth I wish I had, even when I was sold something else. songs for the months spent as a teenager trying to be there for my friends, worrying for them, distracting me from worrying for myself, trying to cling on to positivity and hope amongst it when I had to choose to make a discipline of always seeing that. I’ve had songs for healing and when healing is harder than expected and songs that have the right level of musical complexity to capture the layers of everything that’s happening in my head, making it sound good, telling me it’s gonna be okay.

I don’t know how I could ever say thank you for this. but I do know that I see parts of myself in the people behind these songs, of course I do, and I worry for them as a result and ache for them because it’s hard enough to feel this way when no one knows me or feels the need to control me or mould me into what they think I should be. I’d do anything to keep them all healthy and happy and all of their loved ones too and I don’t think it’s strange as a fan to take that seriously. I hope we can understand the need to treat them gently, and to while not questioning their privacy and the fact that they’re never going to tell us everything they go through, listen to our intuition when we catch something we relate to and treat what they’ve shared with us or hinted at with the dignity we would if someone we love told us something vulnerable. be kind in our expectations and be intentional in the fan culture we create because it does make its way back to them.

and the same goes with all of you. we’re bonding over the same things. I know a lot of this fandom is in the stage where interpersonal relationships are hard. we don’t mean to be grumpy of frustrated but we are. and I’m sending love to all of you. we can get through this together. it’s what they’ve always longed for isn’t it?