#we don’t need to talk about Biochemistry.

[the-teddy-bear-butch]

Guys I love being a woman (gn) in STEM.

[oldiesstationlover11607]

perhaps peter has an important interview for something like a college interview or something and perhaps reader had something to do before it so couldn’t go with him (for moral support) but then she rushes through her thing to get to him and surprises him like 5 min prior, gives him a good luck kiss when his name gets called and tells him to call her after. they celebrate that night (since it went well) with pizza, a movie and cuddles.

Interview - Tom!Peter Parker x Fem!Stark!Reader

Pairing: Tom!Peter Parker x Fem!Stark!Reader

Warnings: None! Super fluffy <3

Word Count: 1,001

Note: Reader isn't Stark's daughter she's Stark's niece

A/N: I hope you like this @urmykindofwoman !!

Peter and I were in our senior year, which came with all the busy days and rough nights of writing college application essays, getting final assessments to the teachers, and booking interviews. While Peter and I were dating, we definitely weren’t going down the same career path. I had my own after-school radio show, wanting to go into something arts and humanities-based, and Peter clearly wanted to do biology and biochemistry. He wanted to go to MIT; science and technology were his whole life—especially with his ‘internship’ with Tony, who had helped him get an interview.

“Y/N? Where’s my suit?” Peter asked, running around his bedroom frantically.

“It’s over there, Pete. Relax, and you’ll do fine. I’m sure Tony put in a good word for you anyway,” I smiled.

“And you’re sure you can’t come with me? I just—this interview is a big deal for me, and if I don’t get in, then I have no idea what I’m going to do,” he said as he folded the suit and put it into his backpack.

“You know I can’t. I’ve got the radio show in an hour, and I can’t miss that,” I sighed, getting up and grabbing my bag. Peter nodded, reluctantly accepting the situation. “But make sure to call me once it’s over and let me know how it goes, okay?” I pulled him in for a quick kiss.

“I love you,” he grinned.

“Ditto, spider boy.”

I walked to the radio station to meet Ned, who had been co-hosting with me for the last few years. We didn’t have any guests for this episode, and instead, we were talking about the latest Star Wars movie that had come out. The episode lasted for an hour and a half, and I sat there staring at the clock to see if I could leave and make it to support Peter before his interview.

“And that’s our show!” Ned smiled and played the last piece of music, finally turning off our mics. “Okay, you better hurry if you’re going to be on time to surprise Peter.” I nodded, grabbing my bag and rushing out of the studio. I ran down the street towards Peter’s house, where he was doing the interview online. Knocking on the door, I noticed it was only 10 minutes before the interview started.

“Y/N?! Oh my god, what are you doing here? What about the show and Ned and—”

“I ran here when we finished. You said you wanted me for support, so I’m here, Spidey,” I grinned. Peter returned the smile, picked me up, and spun us around.

“Okay, Pete, you need to get yourself ready. They’re going to call you any second now, and you’re gonna ace it!” I pressed my lips to his in a lighthearted kiss, my hand coming up to curl his hair in my fingers. He pulled away once his computer started ringing and closed the door to his bedroom.

I sat there scrolling through my phone, hearing the hum of Peter’s voice through the door when he responded to the questions. MJ had sent me a few text messages about our English report, so I took the time to respond. About an hour later, Peter finally opened the door and walked out. I stood up excitedly, walking over to him.

“How’d it go?” His face showed no emotion, and my mind raced through all the possibilities. I’d put him off his game by surprising him, hadn’t I? Peter was going to hate me, and Tony was going to be so disappointed in Peter. It was all my fault.

“They said it was a pleasure to meet me,” a small smile grew on his face, and he looked shell-shocked, completely unsure of how to act.

“Oh my god, Peter, yes!” I screamed, running into his arms. “We need to celebrate! I’ll call Tony and organize something. We are 100% having a pizza party with the others.”

“You’re too good for me, Y/N.” Peter pressed a kiss to my cheek as I pulled out my phone to call my uncle.

“Hi, Tony. Yes, Peter did well in his interview. I’m wondering if we can order pizza and invite the others for a movie to celebrate?” Peter placed kisses across my jaw and down my neck, smiling with each press of his lips.

“Okay, I’ll call them and make sure they’ll be there,” Tony responded.

“Tell him I say hi,” Peter mumbled.

“Peter says—”

“I can hear him, Y/N. Tell him to watch where he puts those hands. Be here by 6, okay?” Tony laughed before hanging up. Peter pulled away and looked up at me with a questioning expression.

“Stark Tower at 6.”

“God, I love you,” he grinned.

“I know you do,” I said, getting everything I needed for dinner.

“That was 100% a Star Wars reference, wasn’t it?” Peter pointed to his Empire Strikes Back poster, and I nodded, trying to suppress my laughter. Peter shot out a web to pull me close to him again.

“You’re a nerd, you know that, Parker?”

“As if you’re any worse; you’ve got that Stark blood in you. I can smell it with my spider-sense—”

“Your Peter tingle,” I interrupted. He let out a loud and annoyed sigh.

“And you’ve ruined the moment.”

“You ruined it yourself, spider boy.”

//

Please submit any requests y'all have! I love to write so let me know if you've got any!

[rkiveinmarvel]

stop. you're losing me - eddie munson des. angst. eddie munson is man with a lot of things; you’ve stay by his side for so long, for too long. notes. stranger things s4 (minus you know what), established relationship, heavily inspired by madam t.swift song, through the years of loving eddie munson, rockstar!eddie, eddie being mean, dramatic, curse words, 17+, sad, sad, sad, (no jason here ;>)

hey! hey! I was supposed to post this last march but I had a thesis paper to finish haha, n e way, please enjoy angsty yet sweet love story of eddie munson! hihi, listen to 'you're losing me' by mama taylor swift while reading this. slay!

w.c: 2.4k

Eddie Munson was a lot of things, he was kind, brave, misunderstood, chaotic, and creative, and Eddie Munson is also your love, perhaps all the things that people see in him that make them look away makes you stay. All the things they hate about Eddie Munson are the things you loved, his long hair, his club, his band, and all of him. But Eddie Munson is a lot.

He was a lot.

And maybe sometimes too much.

Too much.

⟴ DECEMBER ‘86

It started on the third subject, chemistry, your first fourth year, and his second fourth year, he sat next to you with all his glory, rings, and his noticeable Dio battle vest. He was hypnotizing, alluring, and scary, yet the moment he sat next to you familiarity sets in. He was warm and kind, and he was an open book, for you to read.

“What page are we…?”

His voice echoed in your ear as if playing a soft hymn.

“It’s Biochemistry, page 35…”

You looked over at him, his rigged book, his button eyes, his rings, and him.

“Thanks, sweetheart…”

Your heartstrings felt it, his soft voice, the nickname.

It was scary and yet…

You let him in.

— “you say i don’t understand and i say i know you don’t”

⟴ JULY ‘87

For seven months you talked and laughed with him, but you and he didn’t have anything in common and yet here you are wrapped in his bedsheets with him practicing his guitar next to you. The soft strings of the acoustic guitar met your ears it was soothing, and relaxing, you gazed into his eyes and dip your lips into his, to which he gladly respond, After a few moments, you two pulled away. 

As his eyes met yours, he whispered.

“What was that for, babe…?”

A chuckle left your chest. “You looked nice playing the guitar.” 

Eddie laughs and continues to play a song for you. Eddie gazes at you as he sings the softest song he knows. Then a knock was heard, outside his trailer a loud knock was heard.

“You gonna get that..?”

He stood up and worry settles in his eyes, he was hiding something from you, something that would break you. As he opened the door, a man in baggy clothes shows up next to the man three grown men with dilated pupils and slouched shoulders. You glared at Eddie from behind as he hands them a plastic in return with money in his pocket.

As he closed the door, he looked down.

“I thought we agreed...you would quit selling them?”

He rolls his eyes, somewhat annoyed and ashamed. 

“Come on, babe, I need to help Wayne with the bills...and shit. I can’t just rely on what I earn in gigs…I need to earn for Wayne…and me.”

“So help Wayne in the right way..” You stood up as you walked close to him. “Do shit in a right way.”

He replied with a scoff.

“Of course, that’s easy for you to say, babe. Because…” He walked past you and grabbed a beer from his fridge. “You’re not the town’s freak.”

Air left your lungs as you carefully studied his expression, he was annoyed but somehow he looked sad. You weave a deep breath as you walk towards him and grab the beer in his hands as you drank. You stared at him, gaining confidence from the alcohol you had just drunk. “Munson.”

You don’t call him by his last name unless you’re telling him something serious. He was aware of that, he stiffened and straighten his posture.

“You’re graduating in a few months or so, you need to fix habits, create new ones.”

He listened intently.

“It’s the society’s belief in success... Why would I if the whole town–”

“Because I want you to. I want to see you out there, Eds! I want to see you strive...I want you to prove to them that you’re not the town’s freak, you’re more than that!” Your voice echoed in the trailer. 

He was surprised by the sudden burst of voice, but he knew you weren’t mad, you were worried.

“I love you, Munson.”

That hitches his breath as he stared at you. He held out his hand and grabbed yours as he kissed your wrist.

“Okay..”

– “every morning i glared at you with storms in my eyes”

⟴ AUGUST ‘88

His voice echoed in the trailer, it was loud and he was angry. 

“Fucking shit! She is just a fucking friend!”

You two were fighting, screaming, and breaking. 

“You never introduced me to her, hell, Eddie, your hands were all over her!”

He stomps out of his room and continues to tell his reasons.

“(name)! Are you even hearing yourself? You’re being selfish right now. It was a fucking gig, in case you forgot! So, shit, if people are having fun and my hands are all over them that’s because it’s fucking part of the show! I’m the fucking front man of our band for crying out loud!”

You scoffed in disbelief.

“And me dancing with what? Jonathan? Steve? Billy? Is not okay?”

“That’s fucking different.”

You shook your head. “No–it’s not fucking different. Because they are my friends.”

“It’s different because…they might fucking like you.”

As you bit your underlip and stared at his eyes. 

“I’m the one being selfish? Great.”

You sighed and sat on the couch as you tell him what you saw earlier that night. A girl backstage was dancing with him, his hands on her hips, his hand on her cheeks, as his forehead was leaning into hers. As his cheeky smile appeared.

And when the show started, he kept looking at her.

“You didn’t even look at me, Eds.”

On the third set, you left. Eddie was drunk, he was feeling the crowd, and he was dancing the spotlight, while she stared at him, with everything they have in common, you felt tiny, and it seems like you were slowly getting replaced.

He knew about your past, the failed marriage of your parents, and the failed first love of high school. He knew about it and here he is with his balled fist making you remember all the shit you went through.

“...I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

His voice was soft and a whisper, as he sat next to you he moved his hand to hold yours but to his surprise, you flinched. It made him pull away as he realize you were fighting the tears spilling from your eyes. Without saying anything, he hugged you as he vowed and whispered the sweetest things he can think of. 

As the night dived deeper, you two fell asleep on the couch. As you stirred awake you looked at Eddie’s face as you caressed it words left your mouth.

“I hope I never lose you…”

— “how can you say that you love someone, you can’t tell it’s dying?”

⟴ DECEMBER ‘88

As the years pass by, Eddie and you grew differently, together, but not quite. He and his band were discovered on the very edge of America, Corroded Coffin was in the news. And the next few months, the band was offered to sign a recording contract with a recording company. Eddie was getting busy. As for you, you were slowly building the steps on your dreams: dreams that include, Eddie. 

But as the world notices Eddie Munson, you were hidden. Little by little all the things that people see in him that make them look away finally made them stay. All the things they hate about Eddie Munson are the things they finally loved, his long hair,  his band, and all of him. While you finally, little by little…

Hate them…

“It’s just not that simple Eddie! You told me you would come and pick me up! You made me wait there like an idiot! Why–” You groaned as you ran your hand in your hair. It’s been weeks, months since Eddie seem to forget everything about you. Slowly, you were dying, you two were dying. Slowly, he is slipping away from you; as you were slipping away from him.

“Fucking shit! Not everything is about you…” He whispered but loud enough for you to hear. A ring in your ear was heard; yet it didn’t stop. “I am trying everything damn thing to give you the life, I fucking promise! But I can’t do this if you keep holding me back! In the next month, I’m signing the contract, and there are times I won’t  be able to be by your side, I thought you want this for me–”

“I want this you, Eddie. This is all you’ve ever dreamed of.” You stared at him with his chocolate brown eyes. You walked close to him, as you put your hand on his cheeks. “But I can’t recognize you anymore.” You took a deep breath. “You forgot my birthday, our date, picking me up, sleeping next to me, and…looking at me.” 

“This. This is actually the first time you finally looked at me for a long time.” Desperation, Guilt, and Bitterness hit him. You were grey and it was his fault, he took time and looked down. As he pulled you into a hug, muttering sweet apologies in your ears, promises to keep you holding, and actions to keep you at his side. 

That night, you slept next to him, as you stared at him. Eddie Munson was a lot. But somehow, you still want him, you still love him, but it was killing you. Loving him was killing you.

— “how long could we be a sad song, ‘til we were too far gone to bring back to life?”

⟴ FEBRUARY ‘89

“So, what did they say?” You two are currently in New York, Corroded Coffin is currently having a tour. For a while, things are going great, fine, somehow fine. “They will be able to die down the pictures of you and Eddie leaving the hotel, but in the meantime, I suggest you guys…should take a break for a bit.” 

As Garrett dropped the news, I looked at their manager she just gave me a nod.

“Eddie and I would not want–”

“That’s maybe for the best.” 

The air was thick, it was choking you. As you glance at Eddie sitting on the couch. “Garrett can you–um–leave us for a bit.” Once they left, Eddie stood up. 

“For the best…?” You whispered. 

Eddie nods and stares at you. “Well, that’s different from what you said in Highschool..” As shakiness hit your voice.

stop—

“Am I holding you back, Edward?” Oh, now, you’re angry, sad, and confused. You suddenly calling him by his name broke him out of his trance. Then, he faced you. 

“....Yes.” 

It was so simple, so little, and so fucking empty. Somehow, New York is no longer the brightest place, the noisiest place, the loud place, rather it was a place for empty promises, faded lovers, and unwanted wishes.

you’re losing me.

“Since when did I hold you back?” Your voice got a little louder. “Since when did I fucking hold you back, Munson?!” Now, he hears you, finally, he heard you. “January 1987, you wrote the first song you sent to the radio station, 2 weeks from that day you received a mail. Three weeks from that day, Hideout was full of people wanting to hear your songs. And in a month–you wrote another song, and finally, a company notices you…”

You looked at him. “And you couldn’t sleep that night, you were afraid, you were hesitating because–because you said if you accepted it, you might lose everything and maybe get everything you want. That scared you. But I told you, you should..” You walked closer to him.

“You should follow your dreams..” You pushed him using your index finger as you point him out. “Say something, Munson. When did I hold you back?” You asked coldly.

The ringing was heard in his ear. 

He heard your voice, your sweet voice, your hand carving into his body, your mouth leaving marks on his chest, and your hair making a mess on his bed.

He’s losing you.

“What do you want me to say…?” He couldn’t–don’t want to look at you, because if he looked at you, he would fall apart in front of you. He would beg, apologize, and fix everything but somehow, he hesitated, at his hesitation.

He lost you.

A ghost sigh left your lips.

“Goodbye, Eddie.”

— “i can’t find a pulse, my heart won’t start anymore for you.”

⟴ DECEMBER ‘90 

The crowd went wild as the entire stadium sang and jumped along, among the crowd was Eddie Munson. He is currently watching Metallica perform in California, all the songs gave him familiarity and connection. As he was also surprised people recognized him and got his autograph. He had this huge grin on his face, he looked like a kid, felt like a kid. 

Yet, he feels empty. 

And unknown. 

On the other side of the world, you sat and watch the sunset in Hawkins as Steve pulls you out of your trance. 

“We got the tickets. Robin and I were wondering if you wanna come with us…” He waved the ticket in front of you, Corroded Coffin’s world tour. “Didn’t  Dustin wanna come?” Steve raised his eyebrows.

“He does, but he is busy…” Steve chuckles as you also got the note. “With college.” 

The crowd was loud and jumping at their song, as Eddie was in his element. Steve, Robin, and you were watching from afar. As the two criticize the show, while you had this small sad smile on your face. As the show reaches its final leg, the camera on the concert hits you. 

Eddie stared at the screen for a long period.

As he stared at where you sat, you were so far, so far away from him. As his heart starts to pound louder, the cheers of the crowd meant nothing, you were there. The message of each band member meant nothing, you were there. As he heard his own heart, you felt…

Nothing. Your heart did not beat as fast as his, Your eyes did not sparkle as much as his.

And then, he knew. He knew.

As the camera left your seat, you wore a sad smile that matches Eddie’s defeated eyes.

In the bliss of the moment, he had everything, his dreams, his wish, his dream guitar, and the crowd that loves him. But upon gaining everything, he also lost everything.

He lost you. 

-- fin.

the ending was a bit rush but atleast it's done HAHAHA, n e way more eddie fic is coming on the way including a short series, the following stories are written last year but I wasn't able to post it due to school stuffs. ;> hope you guys love this angsty stuff. i promise i will give you guys fluff!!

⚘ masterlist 1 | 2 | 3

[fiapartridge]

Have will and daisy ever gotten into a big argument? If so what about and how did it go down??

yes 10000% -> their biggest fight was about will moving to california after his second year at bc to play for the sharks

Daisy was pacing around Will's room while Will sat on his bed, his elbows on his knees, trying to make sense of what was happening.

"I can't just go with you, Will!" Daisy was furious. She couldn't believe that he was expecting her to drop everything and move to California with him. Will knew it was bad when she used his first name instead of calling him "baby" like she usually did. "My whole life is here."

"Yeah, but just think about it," Will said, adjusting his position on the edge of the bed. "You have three more years here, Dais. I'll be on the other side of the country! I can't go three years without you!"

Daisy shook her head. "What, and you think I can? It kills me knowing that you'll be so far away for so long. Believe me, I want to be with you - I hate being away from you--"

"So why won't you come with me?"

"Because I won't follow a boy around the country!" she shouted, tears stinging her eyes. "Do you ever wonder why I came to BC? Because it wasn't for you, and it wasn't for Gabe, and it wasn't for anyone else. It was because I wanted to be here for me. I'm sorry, but I'm not going to throw my whole life away just to follow you around like a dog - I won't do it."

Will ran his hand down his face, frustration laced in every inch of him. “There are perfectly good schools in California - you don’t have to give up anything.”

“You’re not listening, Will!” she shook her head as she spoke quieter. “I want to be here. I don’t care if UC Berkeley or any other college has the best biochemistry program in the world - I want to be at BC. I worked so hard to be here. I’m not throwing all of that away.”

He loved Daisy so much, but he wasn't sure he could do long distance - not because it would be hard to be away from her, he knew they would end up FaceTiming every day for as long as they could, and they would both visit each other at least once a month, but he was scared that she would find someone else, someone better, someone who wouldn't abandon her. He didn’t want to lose Daisy, but he was going to lose her if he didn’t let her stay too. He didn’t know what to do.

“So then what are we doing, Dais?” Will asked, tiredness evident in his voice. He couldn’t fathom not being with her.

She exhaled, shrugging her shoulders. “I don’t know. I think… I think we just need a breather, okay? I’ll call you later,” with that, she grabbed her purse and walked out.

And Will let her.

His roommates immediately stormed into his room after listening in on the conversation from the living room. Sure, eavesdropping was bad, but that wasn’t just Will's girlfriend. She was also their best friend. They hated when she was sad - especially Gabe. He was protective of his younger sister. He knew she had the biggest heart, and to him, it sounded like it was breaking.

"What are you doing, man?" Ryan asked, staring at Will who had his head in his hands as he sat on the bed, replaying the conversation over and over in his mind. And it wasn't just Daisy he was leaving. He was leaving his friends, his family, his teammates. It all just felt like too much. He was overwhelmed, and to make matters worse, Daisy was beyond mad at him. He couldn't take it.

"I don’t know what I’m doing. I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing."

"You gotta understand, man, she can't just throw her whole life away for you."

Will nodded. "I know, and I don't want her to. But what am I gonna do without her?"

"You do what you came there to do, dumbass," Gabe added. "You talk to her every second you get, and you play hockey. What, would you rather not have her at all? Because that’s gonna be the case if you keep doing this shit. This is her life we're talking about. This isn't just about you."

Will never really thought about that: the possibility of not having Daisy in his life. It was like living without air to breathe - impossible. And then, he knew he fucked up immensely. It was like a light switched in his brain as he quickly ditched his pity party and ran after Daisy, hoping she hadn't gone too far during the time he was talking to his roommates.

He knew she walked back because she could only get rid of her anger by walking it off and ranting to herself. But she couldn't have gotten that far, right?

Will burst through the front door and took off in the direction he knew Daisy went to get back home. He couldn't stop thinking about how terribly he messed things up. Of course she couldn't follow him across the country. Everything was here for her.

When he caught sight of her down the block, he sprinted as fast as he could to her, finally catching up with the girl.

"I'm sorry!" Will blurted. He watched Daisy stop in her tracks, slowly turn around, and greet him with the saddest face in facial expression history. He couldn't believe he was the one who caused that. He walked closer, watching as she didn't make a single move. She simply stood there, ready to listen. "I shouldn't have expected you to come with me - it was way too much to ask of you. I know your whole entire life is here, and I guess I just… I guess I was just scared that you were going to leave me for someone better, someone who wasn't across the fucking country. It was selfish, and I'm sorry, and I want this to work. I want to be with you - no matter what."

Daisy wiped her mascara-stained cheeks, finally looking Will in the eyes. "I love you," she shook her head. "And I would never do that to you. I would never leave you," she said, the tears rushing back. "We can FaceTime every night, and I'll tell you how my day went, and I'll text you almost every hour, and you'll be so annoyed with me, but I won't care because I need to talk to you every second of the day, and we can visit each other every month - I don't even care if it's just me traveling to you every time, I just want to see you," she choked out a laugh - one of her wonderful, perfect laughs. "I'm not giving up on us."

For the first time in what seemed like forever, Will smiled. "I'm never giving up on us.”

"Good, because I wasn't gonna give you a choice. You're with me whether you want to be or not," she laughed despite her tears.

"Well, then it's good that I want nothing more than to be with you, huh?"

[punchdrunkdoc]

Part 2, Chapter 4

Summary: After the events of S3, Matt Murdock is trying to once again balance life as a lawyer and a vigilante. But he’s been scarred by loss and betrayal - will a mysterious new neighbour help him heal? Or will her secrets drag him back into the darkness?

Notes: This is a slow burn romance with an original female character, told in 3 parts. There is mystery, intrigue, action/violence and angst - all the good stuff!

Also available on AO3 and Wattpad

Masterlist

Reference pics

————–

TW: mention of suicide

————–

PART 2

Chapter 4

Matt spent the rest of the week trying something new.

Instead of scouring the city for dealers and information about the new drug, he started searching for victims instead. He followed ambulances and cop cars as they raced to the scenes of crimes; he scoped out hospitals and psychiatric facilities. He even visited morgues in the dead of night.

And he let his nose guide him.

If there was no sign of the drug, he moved on. But if there was a sign - if he picked up the tell-tale acrid sent of the mystery compound - he detailed the nature of the crime or the medical condition of the person affected. 

And a pattern began to emerge - at least, according to Karen.

“There’s a clear clustering of cases,” she explained. The three of them - Matt, Karen and Foggy - were bent over a map of Hell’s Kitchen laid out on the conference table in their office. She’d marked all known incidences of the drug on the map and coded them with coloured pins: green for self harm, red for aggression or violence, and blue for medical illness. “You first started coming across this drug along the pier. But then it moved inland. Margaret was dosed near Balsley Park, but then the next set of victims were south of 49th street.”

Matt tried to visualise the spread of cases as Karen talked. He only ever viewed Hell’s Kitchen from the street level - or more accurately, the rooftop level. The city to him was a vertical jungle, a labyrinth of towers and negative spaces spread out before him.   

So he flipped that view 90 degrees, until he was looking down, the maze becoming an orderly grid. And he started to see the pattern. “It’s almost a rectangle.”

“Yes!” Karen replied. “I mean, apart from a few outliers, that’s the way it’s looking.”

“Which means, the next set of cases will be in the vicinity of the convention centre.” Matt’s heart started pounding with anticipation. After weeks and weeks of fruitless searches and dead ends, he finally felt like he was on to something.

Until Foggy dumped a bucket of metaphorical cold water over his theory. “Or it could be further south, outside Hell’s kitchen. Or west. Or somewhere completely random. We don’t have enough information to make that call.”

“Foggy’s right,” Karen said. “We need more data.”

“More victims, you mean,” Matt growled. “More innocent people being dosed against their will.” He slapped his hands against the table in frustration and started pacing. “How long am I supposed to just stand around and catalogue all this without doing something.”

“You are doing something,” Foggy protested. “Because of all this cataloguing - as you call it - we’re miles closer to solving this thing. And it is we, Matt. You’re not in this alone.”

It was true. While he was finding cases by hunting through the city at night, Karen and Foggy we’re trawling through news reports and hitting up their sources in the police precinct and emergency departments.

Calina was helping too. She was using her considerable intellect and research skills to learn about biochemistry and something called pharmacodynamics in order to try to determine the nature of the drug.

Maybe it was time to bring the whole group together on this.

“We should continue this at my place tomorrow. Calina…she’s, um, been working on this too.”

He sensed Foggy and Karen exchange a look, but he didn’t know how to interpret it. Were they apprehensive about spending time with an ex-Widow? Or were they looking forward to meeting her - Karen for the first time, and Foggy for the first time properly?

Either way, they agreed to his suggestion, and the plan was set for them all to reconvene at his place in 24 hours. And Matt was left to spend another night on the streets as a passive observer of the horrendous violation that was taking place in his city - reduced to logging the details of the crimes that he should be stopping.

He hated it.

Even though he understood the necessity, he still hated it.

And he wasn’t the only one railing against the unfairness of their situation. When he landed on his rooftop past midnight, he found Calina pacing the shadowed concrete space.

And he was instantly concerned about what it meant. “Did you have a nightmare?” he asked. She hadn’t had a bad dream - as far as he knew - all week. Not since the night he’d slept apart from her.

Since then, they’d shared the bed every night. There were no more shy invitations from her, or anxious deliberations on his part. It was just an unspoken arrangement - when he came home after patrolling, he stripped out of his Daredevil suit, put on a fresh t-shirt and sweats, and slid into his side of the bed.

She’d usually be awake, hovering on the edge of awareness, as if waiting for him to return before succumbing to sleep. And she usually succumbed pretty quickly once he was beside her.

As did he.

And they both slept soundly and peacefully through the night, neither plagued by nightmares or insomnia.

They would start the night on their respective sides of the bed, but when they woke in the morning, he was usually holding her, spooned up close behind her with his arm around her waist and one leg wedged between hers.

That was another unspoken thing they steered clear of discussing.

“No,” Calina relied softly. “No nightmare.”

“So what’s wrong?” He took off his mask and smoothed down his hair. Then he sat beside her on the metal vent.

She shrugged. “I guess I was just feeling cooped up. I haven’t left the apartment in seven days. I needed some air.”

It was a reasonable explanation - God knows, he would be climbing the walls in her place. “I know it sucks. But its the safest option-”

“For how long?” There was a bite of anger in her voice. “How long am I supposed to hide away from the world?”

“You know Yelena and the other Widows are working on finding the people behind your reactivation.  Once they do, you can go back to living your life. You-”

“No. I’m sick of this. I don’t believe there’s a threat in the city. Or if there is, its not sat outside our building waiting for me to walk out the front door.”

“Okay,” he said, not used to her sounding so agitated. Every night this week she’d greeted him with a home cooked meal and a smile. She’d asked about his day and updated him on her research into his problem. And selfishly, he’d accepted it all without thinking much about her problem. 

He’d just enjoyed…playing house with her.

God, he could be such a inconsiderate bastard at times.

“I’m not keeping you hostage, Calina,” he continued. “If you think its safe to start venturing outside - and if you think you’re fit enough to handle what might come - then I’m not going to stop you.”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “Why do you have to be so goddam…reasonable?”

Matt shrugged. "I guess its the lawyer in me."

She didn't laugh at his joke. She just sighed, and conceded his point about her fitness. "My knee and elbow are a lot better. But if I was forced to run right now - or defend myself - it wouldn’t go well.”

“So just give it a few more days. Rushing back into the world is not worth the risk. And even if its a relatively small risk, I’d feel better if you don’t take it yet.” He swallowed sharply, remembering the events of last Friday night. “I don’t ever want to see you like that again. I hated it.”

“I hated it too,” she whispered.

He bumped his shoulder against hers and tried to make her smile. “And I’m not sure I could take you down a second time. You’re a hell of a fighter.”

She didn’t smile. Instead, her arms tightened around her, as if she was struggling to hold herself together. “If it ever happens again, I won’t take that chance.”

The defeat in her voice scared him. “What do you mean?”

“There’s a few minutes of awareness, before the serum takes hold. Before it fully drags you under. I’ll use those minutes wisely.”

His stomach fell at the meaning behind her words. “Calina…”

“I was under that control for most of my adult life, Matt. And I’ve seen what its like from the other side, as well. I won’t ever let it happen again. I won’t ever allow myself to become that…soulless killer again. I’ll do whatever it takes to stop it. To…end it.”

She turned away from him to gaze out over the cityscape. But he grabbed her by the shoulders and spun her around, the desperate panic he felt spilling from his lips. “No! Calina, no. Don’t even think about that.”

He moved his hands up to gently grasp her face.“I will always find you, do you hear me?” he pleaded. “I will always find you, and I will always bring you back to yourself.”

She tried to pull away, but he held her firmly. “Callie, please! Please, tell me you won’t hurt yourself. Trust me to save you. Please.”

She stopped resisting. And sighed. “Okay. Okay, Matt.”

“Promise me.”

“I promise.”

It sounded like the truth. And her steady heartbeat made it seem like an honest pledge. But he knew he couldn’t trust that when it came to Calina. For the first time in a long time, he wished he could see. He had the sense that if he could lock eyes with her, and stare into her soul, he would be able to find out the whether she was lying or not.

And he’d be able to convince her to trust him.

But that was an impossible wish. Instead, he took her hand and led her down the stairs into the apartment. And when they crawled into bed together, he didn’t stick to his side of the mattress. He didn’t keep his distance from her - because it felt like she was the one keeping him at arm’s length tonight.

And he hated it. He had the irrational fear that she would disappear in the night, slip out of his life like an apparition.

So he fitted himself against her back and pulled her into the crook of his body with a strong arm around her waist.

“Matt?” she whispered, obviously confused at the break in their routine.

“Shhh,” he whispered back. “Go to sleep.”

He buried his nose in her hair and breathed in her scent…then held her as they both drifted off.

 ———

 Calina smoothed the blanket on the back of the arm chair, and straightened the books on the coffee table. She bit her lip as she survey the apartment for anything else that was out of place.

She felt oddly nervous.

But it was better than the strange melancholy she’d been plagued with the last couple of days. The feeling of being trapped and helpless. The feeling that had led her to the rooftop last night, where she had confessed her contingency plan to Matt - the plan for if the worst ever happened again.

She hadn’t made the decision lightly - which meant she wasn’t sure she could keep the promise she’d made to Matt to not go through with it. But he’d sounded so desperate last night, so afraid for her, that she’d ended up telling him what he wanted to hear.

Maybe it was the Catholic in him - and his fear for her eternal soul if she took her own life. Or maybe it was his guilt speaking. He felt such a huge, misplaced sense of responsibility for everything that went wrong in this city - he was bound to feel responsible for her as well. And she would hate to add to his burden, but her fear of ending up under someone’s control again trumped every other consideration.

That fear had been growing all week. Slowly creeping up on her at odd moment throughout the day, catching her off guard with feelings of panic and unease. She tried to chalk it up to cabin fever. She tried to convince herself that it would disappear once she was back to fighting fitness and out in the world again...

But she wasn’t sure. It felt like the events of last Friday had broken something in her. Something that might never be fixed.

Luckily, she’d had a good distraction from those troubling thoughts - investigating Matt’s mysterious drug. Which his friends were coming over to discuss.

Here.

Any minute now.

Hence the nerves.

Which, typically, Matt picked up on. She wondered what was giving her away. Was it her fluttering heart? Her shaky breaths. Or just some quirk of her neurochemistry. “Relax, Calina. They’re not coming here to judge your cleaning skills. Believe me, they’ve seen this apartment in a much worse state.”

“I know. I just…” want to make a good impression. Matt’s friends were so important to him. She wanted them to like her. In fact, it felt vital that they like her.

Before she could finish her sentence, there was a knock at the door.

“Come in, guys,” Matt called.

Foggy was the first to enter the living room, his wide smile not quite masking the wariness in his eyes. She didn’t blame him; the last time he’d come through that door he’d found her locked in combat with his friend, the two of them bloodied and thrashing on the floor.

Then he’d helped restrain her.

She held up her hands and wriggled her fingers. “No handcuffs this time.”

She’d been aiming for a joke. A way to lighten the mood and address the elephant in the room at the same time. But Foggy just frowned at her in confusion.

Matt jumped in to explain. “Um, Calina is still working on her jokes.”

“Yeah,” Calina said. “Sorry.”

Foggy laughed and awkwardly patted her on the shoulder. “No problem. I just hope you’re not taking humour lessons from Matt.”

“Hey, I’m funny,” Matt protested.

“Sure you are.” The response came from the woman behind Foggy. “We laugh at you all the time.”

The woman took a step closer to Calina and held out her hand. “Hi. I’m Karen.”

Calina shook her hand “Calina. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“Likewise.”

Calina sized the other woman up. It was an ingrained habit - born of a lifetime of being pitted against other females - and one that she wished she could break. She wanted to be friends with Karen. She didn’t want to see her as competition.

But as she assessed the other woman, she felt stirrings of…envy.

Karen Page was beautiful. She was tall - an inch or so taller than herself - with long, silky blond hair, and big blue eyes.  But it wasn’t her superficial looks that Calina coveted. It was the sense she got that Karen was comfortable in her own skin; the sense that she knew who she was, and moreover that she liked that person.

It was something that Calina struggled with on a daily basis.

She was also so comfortable around Matt and Foggy, which only added to Calina's sense of envy. She smiled freely around them and joked easily. She made herself at home in Matt’s apartment, grabbing a glass of juice from the fridge before taking a seat at the dining table.

And when they moved on to discussing the mystery of the drug, she took the lead in summarising the case.

Calina stashed away her feelings of jealousy, and concentrated on the data being laid out. This was much more important than her petty insecurities. This drug was altering people's brain chemistry and making them act out of character - something she knew a thing or two about.

And something she'd been researching all week.

"I might have something," Calina said after Karen finished filling her in on the geographical spread of the cases. Matt raised his eyebrows in response. Foggy sat up straighter, and Karen smiled at her encouragingly.

"I don't think we're dealing with a drug in the conventional sense. I've been looking into why there's been no trace of a foreign compound in any of the victim’s blood work."

"Our forensic toxicologist talked about that on the witness stand," Karen interjected. "He theorised that the current tandem mass spectrometry panels aren't calibrated for novel compounds."

"That's true. They can't tell you about the composition of novel drugs - but they should still register spikes for unknown compounds. And there was nothing in Margaret Posen's results to indicate there was anything in her system. The toxicology results for the other victims were clean too."

“So…?” Karen asked.

“So I started to ignore the toxicology.” Calina shuffled through her papers, and pulled out several printed sheets that she’d highlighted earlier in the week. She laid them out on the table. “Instead I concentrated on the lab work for the victims admitted to hospital.”

She pointed at the first page. “This is the CSF result for Steven Cho. He was admitted to Metropolitan General last week with a delirium-like episode. As part of his work up, they did a lumbar puncture and sampled his cerebrospinal fluid. They were looking for signs of meningitis to explain his symptoms, but found only increased levels of glucose, which they dismissed.”

She moved on to the next page. “This is the urinalysis for Miriam Giles. She presented with extremely high blood pressure and a racing heart. They were suspicious for a type of adrenal tumour that can cause those symptoms, so they checked her urine looking for catecholamines. It was positive - but there was no tumour on her MRI scan.”

Calina pointed to page after page showing abnormal results, explaining each one as she went. Then she summed it up. “In isolation, all of these abnormal results can be ignored. But I had the benefit of knowing that all these patients are linked. And when you know that, you start to understand what you’re dealing with.”

“Which is…?” Foggy asked, looking completely baffled.

“Fight or flight.”

Matt leaned forward in his seat and cocked his head. “Fight or flight? You mean like an adrenaline surge?”

“Yes. The catecholamines that were in Miriam’s urine were specifically epinephrine and norepinephrine - otherwise known as adrenaline and noradrenaline. It all fits - the increased glucose levels, the high heart rate-” 

“But I would have detected the increased adrenaline on these people,” Matt countered.

“Not necessarily. You've said it yourself - the smell of the compound is overwhelming. Maybe it's strong enough to mask the effects.”

The three faces staring back at her still looked sceptical, so Calina continued to lay out her case. “It doesn’t just explain the blood work - it explains all the different behaviours these people exhibited.” She pointed to Karen’s colour-coded map. “It’s called fight or flight for a reason. How you respond to the stimulus of intense fear and anxiety depends on the type of person you are.”

Karen nodded, suddenly seeing the threads linking the different cases. “So one person might respond by jumping off a building-”

“Taking the ‘flight’ part a bit too literally,” Foggy commented.

Karen groaned and rolled her eyes. “Another person might try to fight it - turning their fear outwards.”

“Like Margaret Posen,” Matt chimed in. “She’d been pushed to the brink by the abuse of her ex-husband, and when faced with that fear again she snapped and fought back.”

Calina nodded. “There’s also research that suggests excessive adrenaline has similar effects to certain stimulants - causing paranoia, hallucinations, violence and unexpected physical strength.”

“The hallucinations would explain why Margaret mistook an innocent women for a threat. And it would explain the behaviour of those thugs terrorising the bar.”

“And then the last group - the ones whose bodies couldn’t handle the effects. Their hearts give out under the strain or their blood vessels burst.”

“Like the truck driver I came across,” Matt added. “The autopsy result said he had a burst aneurysm in his brain.”

“Holy shit,” Foggy breathed. “It really does all fit.”

“But why wasn’t the adrenaline picked up on the drug screen,” Karen asked.

“Because like I said at the start, we’re not dealing with a conventional drug. There’s no exogenous adrenaline in these people’s systems. They’re making their own adrenaline in response to something. Something that doesn’t show up on blood tests or toxicology assays.”

“What could do that?” Matt asked.

“Pheromones,” Calina answered. “These people are being hit with fear pheromones. And its triggering a massive, mind-altering fight or flight response.”

————–

(To any other doctors (or toxicologists!) reading - yes, I know, the science is a bit fudged. Creative license!)

Chapter 5.

Taglist: @hollandorks, @yanna-banana, @stilldreaming666, @tearosearts-blog @chezagnes, @freckledbabyyy, @acharliecoxedfan​,

If you’d like to be added, let me know!

[darklydeliciousdesires]

The Dream - Chapter Ten.

BESTIES! Who wants a double update? It’s here, you’re getting one! I figured I would, since the next two chapters are a little shorter, both coming in at under 3k in the word count. Going forward, I think we’ll do a 40 note unlock for a double update, and a 30 note unlock for a single one. Sounds fair, doesn’t it? Well, I hope you enjoy what I have in store for you here. Looking forward to your thoughts, as ever :)

Previous chapters - Prologue  One  Two  Three  Four  Five  Six  Seven  Eight  Nine

Tag list - In the comments, please DM to be added/removed (note: those not engaging will be automatically removed from the tag list, FYI)

Words - 2,648

Warnings - 18+ content throughout, minors DNI!

“He’s still acting strange with you, then?” Angel asked, winding noodles around his fork. They were at the Chinese restaurant Keri had said she wanted to take him to, discussing her current predicament with Aaron.  

“Well, kind of,” she began, poking at the pastry on one of the spring rolls before her. “He’ll ask what Rachel, Frankie and I are talking about, and if I say you, then he’ll just close up, or make some remark. He still has you pegged as a scumbag.”

Angel looked entertained by that. “Some people think I am, and if that’s what he wants to believe without ever actually meeting me, then that’s up to him.” He scratched his beard, shrugging. “I ain’t losing sleep over it, neither should you.”

“I’m trying not to, but it irritates me. What you do doesn’t have anything to do with him,” she stated, Angel chewing through his mouthful of food quickly, reaching to cover her hand with his.  

“Don’t let it bother you, especially when he’s only looking out for you. You just don’t like it because it probably throws up a little conflict for you too, doesn’t it?”  

She felt a little uncomfortable at his presenting of the truth like that, but decided it was best to be honest. “A bit, if I’m real with you.”

“All you gotta know is the following; what I do and who I am are very different things, alright?” He paused then, Keri sipping her iced tea, nodding. “How about the other guy in your group, Ash, is it? Does he think the same?”

“I’ve no idea, since we haven’t seen him for more than a half hour at a time, if that, for the past few weeks. He’s two years above us and currently coming to the end of taking his master's degree in biochemistry, so he’s literally absconded to his room or the study suites at college as he prepares for his finals in April. I doubt he’d take an issue, though. You guys have a common ground, a love for Harley’s,” she explained.

“Oh yeah?” Angel was interested at that. “What does he ride?”

She sat and thought on it, trying to remember, knowing she could only come out with something that was going to make her look utterly ridiculous. “Erm, it’s red. That’s about all I can tell you.”

He laughed softly at that. “You’re too cute.”  

“I am as my Instagram bio states, Provo village idiot.”

Her words sparked something in him then, something he’d been meaning to ask for a while. “Speaking of you Insta, I need to know what made you choose the profile name you did. I mean, I know I was boring and just chose my name and birth year, but yeah, kinda curious to know how girl where photo came about?”

Keri was laughing softly before she’d even spoken, remembering the event that had led to it well. “I changed it after something funny that happened about a year ago. We have these students who came over from Thailand at our college, doing some long-term exchange programme through their church, and they’re the sweetest kids but back then, their English was still a little bit basic at best.  

“So, one of them, Trinh, his name is, asked me if I could take some photographs of him to send to his family back home of him up in the mountains where the scenery is so breathtaking, so I agreed. Anyway, I said I’d print the ones he’d chosen, but between our busyness with studies, it took me a while to get them done, and he was obviously quite excited about seeing them, so ran up one morning in the hall and shouted, ‘girl where photo?’ at me. It sounds like he was being rude, but he was just so excited, and he couldn’t remember my name either, so yeah, that explains it. Frankie couldn’t breathe! Every time he sees me now, he yells it at me. It’s our thing.”

He laughed, resting his fork down when he’d finished, Keri taking another bite out of one of the spring rolls before her. “So, tell me how the love of photography started, then. You know, out of all the things we’ve talked about so far, I don't think I ever asked that."

Sitting there listening to her explain how she’d first come to love taking pictures with her grandmother’s old wind on camera when she was four, excitedly visiting the local one-hour photo place with her to get them developed, Angel smiled widely all the way through. He couldn’t help but note that he’d never felt so comfortable with someone in such a short space of time, the way they'd fallen into easy conversation, like two old friends becoming reacquainted after a period of separation.

How he felt when he was with her in his sleep was definitely mirrored by the reality of such, Keri seeming to settle well despite – as he could tell clearly – being quite nervous earlier as they’d left the airport. She’d almost crashed into a concrete post on her way out of the car park.  

As for Keri, if only Angel knew how well she was hiding the fact that inside, all she could hear were panicked honking noises. Supressing her nerves was a battle she was mostly winning, but boy, she was working her ass off to keep it all hidden. Yes, she felt comfortable with him, and he was just a nice as he’d seemed thus far, but she still couldn’t believe he was sitting across the table from her.

This man, this completely irresistibly gorgeous man, a man she would have considered out of her league, was sitting there looking like he was honestly enjoying getting to know her. Her inner self? Anxious. She revealed those thoughts too after they’d left the restaurant, Keri stopping in at Frankie and Jaime’s apartment so she could leave her car behind and Angel could drop his bag inside, taking an Uber down to The Lounge.

“So, how’s it going?” Frankie asked, Keri greeting them both with a kiss while Angel went to the bar.  

“Help! He’s too hot for me, I’m out of my depth and only just holding it together to act like a normal person and not spiral into one long calamity Joe parody of myself!” she hissed, seating herself on the opposite couch, a narrow table dividing them.  

“Love, you need to cease with these thoughts,” Jaime began, reaching to squeeze her wrist. “You have no idea how much of a knockout you are, do you?” Here they were, Keri’s usual nerves and self-doubt when it came to men, especially in that moment, walking in with a very attractive one, the kind of guy that looks wise, she should have always aimed for, rather than selling herself short because she didn’t believe she could do better.  

Keri waved her hand dismissively, shaking her head. “Stop, I am not!” Just then, Angel arrived back with them, placing down a pitcher of margaritas before a surprised looking Frankie and Jaime, and the same with beer for him and Keri, plus two glasses he pulled from his back pockets. He indicated he’d be back, returning with exactly the same order again.

“You trying to get us wasted there?” Frankie asked, arching an eyebrow.  

“Ah, shit. She sussed me,” he laughed, before pointing back at the bar. “Your local ice hockey team just walked in, so I double ordered everything. Ain’t nobody getting close to that bar between the big dudes and all the hockey groupies down there.”

“I believe the term is puck bunny,” Jaime spoke, pouring out a fresh drink for her and Frankie. “And you say that like you’re not a big dude when really, you’re what? Six three?”

“Yeah, about that,” he confirmed, passing a beer to Keri. “I feel like a damned giant compared to this one.”  

“Everyone is a giant compared to me and my five four tininess.” she laughed, cringing a little. Their conversation moved on, the girls all getting to know Angel a little better, laughing hard at stories of his youth, some of the antics he found himself involved in, the kind of life he’d had so very different from theirs. He enjoyed it, too, in turn hearing about them, learning of their lives, yet there was only one person he craved alone time with in order to do more of the same.

“What?” he questioned hours later when they’d returned to the apartment, Keri grinning to herself beside him, both all bundled in a comforter and blankets to ward out the chilly February cold. When the heat went off in the apartment, the temperature dropped quickly, and boy, you felt it.  

“Nothing,” she spoke softly, shaking her head. “I'm just having a 'holy shit he's right there' moment again. It's good, but still weird.”

He could identify with such. “Same. I can't believe I'm here either.” His smile reached his gorgeous, dark eyes, reaching to squeeze her shoulder. “So, tell me things about you that I don’t already know, then.”

Her eyes widened a fraction, and it made his pulse skip. She was even lovelier than her pictures or presence in his dreams had alluded to. “Gosh!” she began, combing her hair away from her face with her fingers. “I don’t even know where to start!”  

“Alright, I’ll ask, you tell?” he suggested, Keri nodding.  

“Okie dokie, and you answer too!” And so, they began.

“What’s something you have more knowledge about more than anybody else you know?” Oh, that was an interesting choice. Thinking on it, he didn’t seem the type who’d be interested in run of the mill, getting to know you small talk. And as she replied about her love and knowledge of Nikon cameras, with Angel asking interesting specifics, she truly saw that he was much smarter than he appeared in how he articulated himself.  

His wasn’t academically smart, but she enjoyed how direct he was, how original the questions were that he asked of her, and how perceptive he appeared to be. Therefore, she matched him, knowing that he wouldn’t be the type to be pacified by asking what his favourite movie or colour was. In truth, neither was she.  

“If you could sit and spend an evening talking to anyone from history, alive or dead, who would it be?”

He beamed. “Yo, that’s a fuckin’ great question.” He took a pause, considering his options. The fantasy woman of his early teens, model Helena Christensen immediately popped into his head, but it would be gauche to reply with a beautiful woman, and he could do much better than that. “Che Guevara. I admire those who don’t play by the rules in order to achieve a better balance where power is concerned. Rebellion and revolution, people who stand up against oppression, I think it’s brave and bold, amazing even, the ripple effect that one person and their ideas can cause. How about you?”

Her reply was immediate. “Annie Leibovitz. The way she captures so much personality of her subjects in her photography, making the images so deeply personal, almost like they’re just a moment captured in a sequence of motion. Her images might be still, but they move. They have vibrance, some of her works even remind me of Renaissance paintings. She’s truly masterful.”  

“I guess there’s a lot more to photography than there appears at first glance, right? It ain’t just about pointing a camera at your subject and clicking. I think it’s a really interesting art form, although I know very little about it. What’s your favourite picture you’ve ever taken?”  

Immediately, she reached for her phone. “This one got taken off of my Instagram, even though I censored the boobies, but here.” Clicking on the image, it enlarged, Keri turning her phone to show Angel the photograph of Frankie, naked but a Pride flag wrapped around her waist, one hand holding herself up as she swung from the overhead bars of the black iron fire escape outside of the apartment, the other hand raising her middle finger, a cigarette hanging from the corner of her glossed pout. “It’s just her, unapologetically her. I captured the entire essence of Frances Scarvo in one picture, which was my aim.”

Angel studied it, loving the details, the light, the way the shadows fell over her lithe muscles, the shaft of sunlight shining down onto the tall building glinting the defiance in her eyes. “I fucking love it, you’re right, the way you’ve captured so much of her in it. I mean, I don’t even know her, but what I’ve noticed in her, her total confidence and pride in being an out lesbian, her humour and her strength, it’s all here. It’s unapologetic, just like you said. You should print this for her and frame it.”

“Already did,” she revealed. “It’s hanging in the bedroom, next to one I took of Jamie in a bubble bath. One I ended up slipping on the edge of the tub and falling into with her fully clothed. I just about had chance to throw my camera at Frankie and save it, rather than save myself.”  

He laughed softly, imagining it. “Calamity Joe strikes again, huh?”

“Don’t you start calling me that, too!” The laughter they shared was so natural and easy, Angel loving that she didn’t take herself too seriously, her slight clumsiness a source of her own amusement just as much as it was everyone else’s.  

He reached for her, thumb skimming her cheek, the gesture small, but big enough to make her heart flutter. “It’s good to see you relax a little at last. I’ve noticed it, how hard you’ve been working to not let your nerves get the better of you.  

Shit. And she thought she’d fooled him. Angel Reyes, it seemed, was even more perceptive than she’d realised. “I want to be like I am with you in our dreams,” she began, Angel raising an eyebrow in a manner that bordered on lascivious. “Not like that!” she admonished playfully, slapping his chest with the back of her hand. “Well, not yet, anyway. You get what I mean, though.”

At the suggestion of those connotations manifesting in reality, he felt a little flicker of arousal stir within his depths. He couldn’t help it, the attraction he felt only strengthening in reality. “I do, I understand.” He’d keep it in check, though, for her comfort. “Okay, I thought of something else. If you could visit any period of time in history, when would you choose and why?”

“One of the prehistoric ages, so I could witness dinosaurs, the cretaceous period in particular. As long as in this hypothesis I could be somewhere safe, I’d love to sit and view them, the triceratops, the velociraptors, the tyrannosaurs rex. Can you imagine how incredible that would be? I have so much awe about them. There’ve been quite a few remains found in Moab, so I like to visit whenever I have time, go and see the skeletons in the museum there. I never get bored. How about you?”  

All the way through her explanation, she’d noticed his smile widening, his reply confirming what she was beginning to think. “Exactly the same. All that shit is fascinating. You gotta take me to that museum! I’ve never been to see the bones in person before, but looking at pictures, the scale ones that show just how huge they were, it’s mind-blowing, trying to imagine something that big ever walking the earth.”

Finding something they were both geeks over kept them talking for a long time before their conversation eventually moved on, 2am rolling around, and neither feeling even remotely tired. Even if they were, they wouldn’t have been prepared to have called time on something they were enjoying so much.  

[theenpcbracket]

Round 1: Greggor Handson vs Mercurial

Image ID included, click to see the full image please!

(Only an image of Mercurial was submitted for this poll)

More about each NPC below the cut!

Character 1

Name: Greggor Handson Party: The Bomb Squad Relationship to party: "Healer"

What makes them the best NPC: Every party need a healer. If you don’t have one, you need one. And if you are on a budget, Greggor Handson can be yours! Greggor was exiled from polite society and lives in an abandoned castle, but his rates are low low low and his survival rates are high high high! Better yet, he wont ask you any questions! Are your burn marks related to the explosion at the Duke’s palace? Does your description match a group wanted by the law? Greggor doesn’t care! Greggor just wants the opportunity to work on your body and maaaybe make an improvement here or there. Don’t worry! All new eyes have dark vision and the risk of infection is minimal.

Greggor prides himself not only in the quality of his work, but also his service. His appearance IS off putting, there is absolutely NO getting around it. But be assured all alterations to his body were made by Greggor himself. That he is somehow still alive is a testament to his abilities. Could a “sane” but only moderately talented healer make such radical modifications and survive? No! As Greggor himself would say, when given the choice between sanity and ability, “thanity is grothely overethtimated, theheheh”. His contagious enthusiasm for his work and frank bedside manner is what sets him apart. As Greggor would say, “I gif mythelf four thumbth up! Any more ith medically unnethethary – and I thould know! I’m a doctor.”

Quote: "You were more than my paithenth, you were my friendth," Greggor's last words.

Any extra propaganda under the tag Greggor Handson, to be found here

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Character 2

Name: Mercurial Party: The Fosters Relationship to party: Friend, ally, strategist, arcane scientist

What makes them the best NPC: Mercurial is a drow divination wizard who loves his girlfriend and studying magic very much. He’s so incredibly anxious and semi-unintentionally goofy at all times, but he ultimately has a steel will and the determination to back it. His girlfriend and he helped lead a drow rebellion against the high elven monarchists, and they’re both currently elbows-deep in helping to set up a more equitable but still stable government to replace the emperor. He’s a skilled diviner and she’s an incredible tactician, so they’re incredible strategists.

He is both so incredibly cool and just some guy. He'll do just about anything you ask. Once, a PC told him to go get "as many lemons as [he could]" and he brought back hundreds. Every time we drop in on him, he ends up nervously making like, French toast or bruschetta or something. He’s also an incredibly competent wizard who is going for his arcane PhD. He got into biochemistry when one of our PCs (an old friend of his and his girlfriend’s) asked him to do some blood analyses. When he realized one of the party NPCs's blood would confirm a hypothesis he had but she wouldn’t give it to him, he (for the first time) used his unassuming and nervous demeanor to trick her into letting her guard down enough that he could stab, grab, and run like hell away with the blood. He talks like Eeyore. I love him so much.

Quote: "Wait, don't tell her, I don't want her to be more mad at me than she already is..." -Mercurial, after tricking the party NPC.

Any extra propaganda under the tag Mercurial, to be found here

[o-craven-canto]

Ea: Our Second Chance (6b)

6b. The Commander

(< 7. Ean biochemistry) (> 8. Fuscophyta: Ea’s black plants)

(This chapter, set several decades into the future, should not be taken in any way as endorsement of the current Turkmen government.)

« Make no mistake: we are all soldiers in the war against entropy. We were conscripted before our birth; and we will win, compact and resolute, or we will all die. Which do you choose? » – “Gene Taylor”, Hypertopian Manifesto, finale

« A long life is the most pointless of goals. Compared to eternity, living a year or a million is the same. Sooner or later, you will go down. Go down fighting. » – advisor Parashurama Khand, Thoughts and Memoirs

« Father, I did it. You always told me to fly, and six months from now I will fly higher than anyone else ever did. I am the first of the Ten Thousand. They told me yesterday, and this is the first moment I can sit down and think. No, only write, I'll need sleep before I can think. So many tests, so many interviews! They must know me as well as you, now. Tomorrow I'll have to talk to the press. What will I say? What could anyone say?

I don't envy the paperpushers in Geneva. The Indians wanted to put in charge one of their own, that Chinese billionaire tried to buy a way in for her friends, West China forbid it, Europe had riots in the streets, East Africa and the Four Lions were at each other’s throats. They proposed one from Japan and there was anger, one from Israel and there was anger, one from Ghana and there was anger. Even the Swiss couldn't be trusted. Agents of India and the UN, they said. That's why they chose me in the end, I imagine. Even now, after all that happened, Turkmenistan has no friends and no enemies.

So is this what everyone will think about me? The last resort, the winner by default, the safe choice? The compromise candidate? To the devil with them – there is something greater in action. The spirit of humanity rolls no dice. I've always known something like this was going to happen, ever since I applied for the air force. No, ever since you bought me that book on Gagarin when we were in Ashgabat. No, ever since I've seen the stars over our home, the Great Blue Heaven. I've always known, I've just never believed, until yesterday.

Could you believe it? Ten thousand people, the best of humankind. (Or the best that humankind can afford to send away.) You told me I could do anything because I have the blood of Amir Timur in my veins. You didn't tell me that so do ten million other people. That's good, though, because I will need as many strong and capable people as I can get. Ten thousand! I look at my badge, and it says "0001". Whatever I tell them to do, they'll do; and it will be history.

But I didn't sign up to rule, I signed up to do my duty. To my family, my country, and now my species. To you, who gave me so much. But when we leave this planet, I'll have to think always of the future, never of the past, and so I'll never be able to think of you again. So I write, now that I still can.

So many tests and trials, and one is worse than all others. Did you know they wouldn't pick someone who has living family? Not as Commander, not as mission officer. Apparently this is so they will always be focused on the mission and never look back at what they left.

I was angry at you, when you left me alone. But now I see that maybe that was your last gift. So that you could make me fly even higher.

Wherever you are, father, fly with me. »

– Colonel Arslana Samirowa, commander of the Seeding mission, private journal, March 2069 (Ean Historiographic Archive)

[elleenvs3000f23]

Week 4: Art as an act of love - Why we interpret nature through art

When I think of interpreting art or the gift of beauty I think of a moment from two summers ago when I was working as a field biologist. The task of the day was an anuran survey. We were at the site after dark, listening for frogs and toads. I love frogs and toads, truly, but I wouldn’t personally call many many dozens of spring peepers calling beautiful (picture many many small angry cats yelling at each other). No, the beautiful thing was on the walk back when the whole forest lit up with fireflies; thousands of glowing bugs floating down the trail in a forest dense enough to block out most of the ambient light. It was like standing in a crystal clear night sky; my two co-workers and I silently agreed to turn off our headlamps and just stand there for a while. 

I share that story because I think it captures how I feel beauty and art should be interpreted. I didn’t need to be told fireflies are beautiful, I didn’t need to understand the biochemistry that lets them light-up or why they seem to love this random wooded area behind a train station, but I never would have been there in that moment if I wasn’t a biologist with a miraculous stroke of luck. To be clear, please don’t go hiking through private property at night looking for fireflies, it's unsafe and you're more likely to just get lost and mosquito bitten half to death. My point is that I was in the right place at the right time and magic happened, and as interpreters, I think we can let nature speak for itself in the beauty department if we only get our guests there at the right place and time. 

These moments are rare and lightning doesn’t reliably hit twice so we can also share these events through art and stories. You felt a little calmer when you read about the fireflies right? You have an image in your head about what I might have seen and really, that image could be just as beautiful as the one that lives in my head. I’ve talked about my friend the photographer on this blog before as well and I think that is another great way to share and interpret beauty. He has always had a talent for noticing little things, an a-symmetrical leaf, the pattern of plants in the grass, and he can highlight beauty in what he sees by taking a picture that lets others look through his eyes. 

Now, I couldn’t talk about art and beauty on a nature interpretation blog without talking about my personal favorite comfort media: Ghibli movies. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, congrats you have plans tonight: find your comfiest blanket and look up Spirited Away on Netflix, you can thank me later. Spirited Away shares the story of a young girl who accidentally travels to the spirit realm where she ends up working at a bathhouse full of nature spirits. The movie personifies rivers, radishes and ducks and almost every other thing you could find in a forest and brings them into a colorful world where they can be cleansed and relaxed. It’s an interesting metaphor for how pollution affects the natural world. Metaphors and personification aside, the film also has beautiful imagery of nature, with calm grassy fields, wide lakes and mysterious mossy forests. You don’t even have to step outside to be moved by Miyazaki’s interpretation of nature and to understand the messages about our responsibilities in caring for it. It’s my favorite example of how interpretation of nature through art can simplify complicated ideas into a single work and communicate them without lecture.

At its core, art is an act of love - it takes time and labor to create and can wordlessly communicate the artist's belief that something is special, and therefore worth appreciating, protecting and thinking about. I suppose my thesis in this post is that art captures and shares moments that are special, so we can connect with nature on an emotional level and build a sense of value through finding the beauty in a place.

Images from Spirited Away (2003)

[busterheadspace]

For the prompt, maybe slammed into a wall or doesn't realize they've been injured would be good for Reagan inflicted by Robo-Reagan 👀? (This is just my excuse to see more robo rae fics)

Congrats! You’re the first one to request here . This turned more into an Andre and Reagan friendship story but RR is still there. Thanks! I did doesn’t realize they’re injured because slam into the wall.. is hard. I’m open to the prompts so send an ask

Busted Back

—-

You don’t realize the pain at first when a robot replication of you is about to screw with your date. After regaining consciousness, from being slammed into the wall, Reagan was focused on something else. Her robot clone taunting her about her social skills and dating life. A rush of adrenaline went through her as she escaped and grabbed a gun and ran to the Colosseum.

The gun ended up being useless as it was crushed by Robo-Reagan. She had to fight using fake dinosaur bones and a shovel from the exhibits. Unfortunately those ended up being tossed away and the robot grabbed Reagan by the neck, holding her against the wall.

“You really think you could have stopped me?” It taunted her. 

“You’re unstable! I have to put you down!” Reagan replies with a glare. Robo-Reagan said nothing as she prepared one of her eyes to shoot out a laser. The scientist threw a punch but it ended up with her hand being hurt. The robot rolled her eyes, turning a round and slamming Reagan into the floor

Her back was hit hard, barely registering it as Reagan’s adrenaline kicked and she ran. Knowing the Colosseum, she ran into the mineral rooms and amplified the giant magnet. The robot was pulled into it, malfunctioning and saying her final words before dying.

That took place in the evening and Reagan was ready to relax. After being rejected and cleaning up Bryan-Bot, she just wanted to lay in bed and go through the dating options that Alpha-Beta had shown her. None of them had really piqued her interest the more she looked into it, so Reagan decided to sleep with a heavy sigh.

—-

Three hours later, her alarm went off and she sat up to find the stupid arm. An ache shoots through her back, making Reagan wince. Shit. Must have been sleeping in a horrible position because it hurts. Whatever it was, she can ignore it and get dressed.

Taking off her orange sweater was actually harder than she expected. Pain shoots from her lower back to her arms, making her stop and hold her breath and then pulling it off her body. The gray collar shirt she usually tucked into her pants, made it much worse and ended up just leaving it out. 

—-

Arriving at Cognito, Brett had immediately greeted her and noticed that she wasn’t wearing her lab coat. How did she forget that? Her clothes were getting more greasy and stained now. She waved off as they headed to the War Room. To their surprise, JR was the only one inside. He smiled widely as he handed Brett and Reagan clipboards with all the departments in the building. 

“Inspectaction day!” JR said brightly, snapping his finger. “We need to see if any department needs to lose their budget or we need to fire anyone!” 

Reagan groaned and rolled her eyes. She didn’t want to walk around while her back hurts. Not to mention usually these inspections end up with her having to fix whatever problem occurring. Brett took half of the department while she took the rest.

The first department is no other than the Biochemistry Department. She knocks on Andre’s office and the door opens quickly. He seemed a little out of it but nonetheless he let her in. 

“Well you took a while.. but let’s get this over with. You see those Chemtrails-“

Listening to Andre talking about the experiments and the employees working, Reagan tried to write it down on the clipboard. However his office was dimly lit so she moved under a ceiling lamp, her back facing Andre.

“You got all that. Get rid of Michael and we still need a bunch of those chemicals. Okay Reagan! Okay!” His arm hung over her shoulder to balance. She didn’t exactly like the touch but she could tolerate it for a bit.

“Yes Andre. I got it already. . Can you let go of m- AUGH FUCK.” Andre tripped forward and into her back. The clipboard drops out of her hands as she swung around, the doctor falling onto the floor. He looked at her, a little surprise. Eyes squinting as he got up with a wobble

“Maybe it was the drugs… but holy shit. Your back is all purple..” Andre mumbled. 

“What..? You saw my back?! How?” Reagan said with a glare. 

“Your shirt went up when you spun..What happened?”

“How bad can it be?” 

“Do you really want to see it?” Andre said, grabbing his phone. Before Reagan could even respond, the doctor was already behind and lifting her shirt and snapping a picture. At first she was about to yell at him for grabbing it without her consent but then the photo was shoved in front of her. 

Oh. He wasn’t wrong. A big bruise that spread from the top to the bottom of her back. She grimaced. It did not look good. As she stared at the injury, Andre put a hand on the bruise making her yelp a curse.

“How did you even get it?” Andre asked again.

‘My robot boyfriend made a robot clone of myself that caused an explosion and I hit the wall. Then said robot slammed me into the wall.’ That was the first thing that came into her mind but it sounded really stupid. 

“I just got attacked. Machine malfunctions ” Reagan answers after thinking, pulling away, her hand smacking Andre. A quiet hiss coming from the quick movement

“Typical. I got some medication that could help you.., and maybe some ice too.” 

“It’s fine. I can make it through the day with this.” 

Andre shakes his head as he opens a drawer and tosses a bottle to Reagan before opening his freezer. It had “Fentanyl” on the label. 

“The fuck? Why the strongest painkiller?” 

“You’d be surprised how much it’s going to hurt you the next few days. Then again., you probably don’t care. Just take them. We’re making more.” Andre answers, grabbing ice and putting it in a ziplock bag. Then he went behind her and lifted her shirt as Reagan took the pill. She didn’t protest knowing what he was doing now.

“Don’t scream” 

The ice was placed onto the bruise making her almost scream. It hurts like hell as he moves it to different areas of her back every few minutes. Eventually it ends and he tosses the half melted ice pack into the trash. It felt a little better 

“Alright. That wasn’t too bad actually.” Andre smirks leaning on the wall as Reagan tucked her shirt in . “Just take and the pills and then take it eas“

“Shit! I spent too much time here! I gotta check the other departments. Thanks Andre!” Reagan looked at her watch, rushing out, mumbling about the other department.. 

She wasn’t going to take it easy huh.

[amypihcs]

Ho postato 433 volte nel 2022

Sono 296 post in più del 2021!

19 post creati (4%)

414 post rebloggati (96%)

Blog che ho rebloggato di più:

@pizza-hats-of-the-world-1882

@usergreenpixel

@enigma-the-mysterious

@tairin

@kaxen

Ho taggato 273 dei miei post nel 2022

Solo 37% dei miei post non aveva tag

#joachim murat - 14 post

#awsome - 8 post

#so cute - 7 post

#the three musketeers - 6 post

#love this - 6 post

#awsome art - 5 post

#raoul - 5 post

#fantastic - 5 post

#i mean - 4 post

#the boys - 4 post

Longest Tag: 96 characters

#napoleon's abusiveness showing in how many people of his higher rank sent him to go fuck himself

I miei post migliori nel 2022:

#5

AAAAND another one of my mad AUs

Music? On and rocking Courage? Mustered Dignity? Already waved her goodbye OK i’m ready. Apparently summer, having to study for exams i dislike and most of all reading nice books that send me in hyperfixation with the characters give me IDEAS™. After some time spent convincing myself to do it i’ve finally read The Three Musketeers and having loved it to FOLLY, i CLEARLY devoured also Twenty Years After and started the Viscount  of Bragelonne (Athos, i love you, but we’re not talking of you, forgive me my man). This new obsession tonight coupled with my ever present love for LOTR and Silm and since APPARENTLY heat goes up to my head, i thought:

Ok, here we have Aramis, ridiculously always good looking, even at like... 20 years from the first time we meet him he is THE SAME AS ALWAYS and in the Viscount for the little i know for now he didn’t age much either, Devilishly good with horses AND swords (eggrazziearcazzo, you may say, he’s a MUSKETEER) with almost ZERO impulse control (Athos works as impulse control for them, actually) but GREAT cold blood, can apparently sing quite well, some disregard for rules and some great agility and effort in actually always managing to break one of two of those and... oh look, all the boxes check and hear me out. Aramis. Being. MAGLOR FEANORION!!  I talked about this with my darling @tairin, my nice sis who i love and thank very much for being always there to hear me rambling about my obsessions and not having killed me yet. And she is even more of a genius than i suspected! (@joachimnapoleon​ please don’t kill us) She made me give a second check to who ELSE checked all the boxes and here, the illumination.  Good looking Incredible with horses Apparently skilled in verses/songs Devilish with a sword some disregard for rules NOT imposed by himself Joachim Murat. Being Maglor Feanorion.

Tolkien fandom out here (@thiswaycomessomethingwicked​ i get you’re one of us?) tell me if maglor wouldn’t have a portrait of himself like this one of our darling jojo, c’mon! He checks out also the diva personality!! 

Anyway, this was my new silly AU, don’t kill me please, i still have to pass biochemistry and see confirmed my credits for cmcf, i’m too young to die and my cats would miss me😂  I hope you at least laughed a bit form this one silly thing.

12 note - Postate 15 giugno 2022

#4

Happy death day Naps!

Wandering around facebook i found this nice Dumas quote

Do not be deceived, today I am doing better; but I feel the same that the end is approaching. When I am dead, each of you will have the sweet consolation of returning to Europe: you will see one another’s relatives, the other’s friends. As for me, I will see my good ones in heaven...Yes, yes - he added, animating and raising his voice with an inspired accent - yes, Kleber, Dessaix, Bessières, Duroc, Ney, Murat, Massena, Berthier will come to meet me, they will tell me about what we did together, and I will tell the last events of my life: Seeing me again, everyone will go crazy with enthusiasm and glory. We will talk about our wars with Scipio, with Caesar, with Hannibal, and it will be a pleasure... Unless - he added, smiling - they are afraid to see many warriors gathered up there. - A. Dumas, Napoleone.

Just to wish him a happy death-day

12 note - Postate 5 maggio 2022

#3

Guys i just needed to vent out a bit. We can’t find my cat. we looked into the house, outside, all over the sort-of-village where i live (i live in the country) and we can’t find it. Does any of you have an idea of why a cat can be disappeared in such a way? I just know that a moment she was inside and the other she was nowhere to be seen. I just needed to vent out a bit ‘cause i think i’m panicking just as much as before when we where actively looking for her. Do you have any idea of why a cat can just... fly and boh... i don’t even know if she actually is outside the house, even if i looked everywhere in. She’s injured under her neck, she had a dermatitis that we can’t manage to heal, even if she is way better than some months ago. sorry, just some venting out i don’t know how to cope with this

14 note - Postate 3 febbraio 2022

#2

Excerpt from ‘Gioacchino Murat e l’Italia meridionale’ -- presentation of the King

Sooo guys. Some time ago i got a book, ‘Gioacchino Murat e l’Italia meridionale’ which was introduced to me by @joachimnapoleon and after reading it I thought of making a post about it. Hope you will enjoy it!

So let’s get started! In the third part of the book we have a focus on the people who actually governed Naples, starting with the King and the Queen and proceeding with the ministers, describing how their personalities fitted in their roles and how they actually got their work done; this post will be about our favourite King of Naples, Joachim Murat. (the mistakes in the translation are entirely mine)

Here the original text in italian

Guarda il post completo

18 note - Postate 14 maggio 2022

Il mio post numero 1 del 2022

Just arrived!! I'm looking forward to reading it! I'm sure it will be epic!

28 note - Postate 26 novembre 2022

Guarda ora l'Analisi del tuo anno 2022 di Tumblr →

[acasestudyofaria]

✅ 32/52 recap + reflect

i don’t have much to say about this week because i spent more time doing than thinking about things and my working memory is a tad bit deficient BUT here’s one thing i took away from week 32:

embrace imperfection and difficulty in doing new things - you finding it difficult is not a sign to back away, it’s proof you’re trying

as a child, things came very easily to me, esp when i was interested in it, so i relied on what i would call beginner’s luck to get me through a lot of things growing up. i feel like i breezed through the majority of my life unaware of how to actually do certain things (like studying, and i can’t tell if that’s a blessing or a curse). now that i’m trying to be more aware and present in what i do, the reality hit me like a sack of bricks. i can find things difficult. my natural response was to resist facing the difficulty and run away from my responsibilities, which set me back a thousand steps.

this week, i pushed myself to do more difficult things (that ideal me would do), esp when i really didn’t feel like doing them.

my findings: difficult things became less difficult the more i attempted to do them, or at least, i was less resistant to doing them.

things that helped me “not think, just do”:

🍄 say bismillah - this is literally a cheat code. you’re unstoppable with the creator of the heavens and the Earth on your side. all He has to do is say be, and it is. ok bismillah, letsgooo!

🍄 set a timer - switching my study goals from content-oriented tasks to time-oriented ones helped me build momentum too. i didn’t always manage to finish studying the content i wanted to, but by the end of the day, i had finished at least half of it instead of only having thought about doing it.

🍄 visualise doing the thing - i screened mini “spoiler alert” reels in my head, showing myself how in 30mins, i would’ve completed a certain task. the resistance to it dramatically decreased because the “future footage” made me see the task for what it actually was: something i could definitely do and NOT a threat to my well-being.

🍄 set intentions and systems around your goals - i started the week off telling myself i would finish one biochem topic a day. it didn’t work and i kept berating myself for it. two days ago, i told myself i would commit to increasing my biochemistry knowledge base a little every day. i switched my goals to timeblocks instead of topics and that system increased my productivity. even when i wasn’t able to complete an entire topic, i had taken steps towards improving my knowledge base, AND achieved my goal of x study timeblocks.

🍄 give yourself a “gold star” once you complete a task - for me, posting my todaystodos updates on my story and seeing the green ticks (or the absence thereof) gave me just enough dopamine to push myself more the next day. but i also rewarded myself w cake, or talking to my brother, or today, watching an episode of Strange Planet. find something that works for you and DO NOT pre-reward (it doesn’t work as effectively).

🍄 be your loudest cheerleader too - we’re usually our worst critics, and that’s okay (as long as we stay constructive) but we have to cheer ourselves on too. how would you talk to a friend or a sibling? my brother rerouted a lot of my negative thoughts this week, and once i started talking to myself the same way, it changed how i approached the things i needed to do - again, it dramatically decreased the resistance.

🍄 treat yourself w compassion even if you fail to meet your own expectations - because we will sometimes. and that’s okay. we do better next time. cultivate a growth mindset. there are no failures in this garden, just unsuccessful experiments that leave more soil for new flowers to be planted. and it shows you what not to do with the next attempt. it’s trial and error until it works out, loves.

happy monday! <><3

[abbatoirablaze]

SDAU-Engineered For Love, Chapter 5

Word Count: 848

“It can be a long-lasting effect of the pills that he crushed up and put in your drink,” Tony said sadly as he looked at his girlfriend, “I’m sorry, Pepper.”

Pepper bit her lip and looked away from him, ashamed of what had happened nearly two months ago.

Ever since that night she’d undergone testing, and everything had changed.  Her scent was stronger.  She had gone through a breakthrough heat.  And now, she was on the cusp of an actual heat; the first real one of her life.  To say that she was beyond terrified was an understatement, but Tony had stood by her every step of the way, helping her to the best of his abilities.

Tony had also noticed some of the more subtle changes in the past week.  She was staying in his room more, and he’d even found that some of his shirts and hoodies had gone missing.  And her scent had only confirmed one thing in his mind; that he knew she was the one for him.  Her scent managed to calm him and make him feel grounded, but also like he was floating on top of the world.  His fox would chitter excitedly with every step she seemed to be taking that made her closer to a designation.

“The long and short of it is that your biochemistry is changing,” Maria offered gently as she looked at the chart that held Pepper’s information, “The samples are changing every week, and your designation no longer reads as a zeta…you said that you have two shifter parents?”

“Yeah…”  she agreed, taking Tony’s hand, while she looked at Maria, “They were an epsilon and an iota.”

She nodded, “it’s common for that type of pairing to have a zeta…but it looks like your markers were just dormant.  That knockoff instant heat pill that you’d gotten-“

“She wasn’t just given it…it was forced into her system,” Tony growled, glaring at the former sorority girl who was cozy with the Rhos, “one of the Rhos drugged her when she was tutoring them.”

Maria frowned, not wanting to talk about her past relationships with the Rhos and the obvious disdain Tony had for them, “I’m sorry, Tony…Pepper…maybe we should finish your results in private.”

“No…no…Tony’s my mate,” she said quickly, gripping his hand a little bit tighter, “I-I want him to know what’s going on with me.”

“Okay,” she sighed, “well, Tony is right.  The effects look like they’re long-lasting.  Your designation chemistry is becoming more kinetic.  It’s moving around and adjusting itself.  Quite frankly, I’ve never seen anything like it before in my life…”

“So-i-I can’t go back?”

Maria shook her head, “No…you can’t…but the curious part to it, is that you seem to be both a delta, and an omega…you’re reading as both designations for right now…it’s possible that with more heats, you could transition into one designation or neither as your biochemistry continues to adjust itself…I don’t know.  Like I said, I’ve never seen anything like this before.”

“Oh my god, you smell so good,” Pepper moaned, gripping Tony’s shirt as she buried her face against his chest and inhaled deeply.  Tony blushed.  His inner fox chittered, and he fought the pleased rumble that was making its way through his chest. 

This was the first heat he’d spent with her, and she seemed like she was already going down that rabbit hole and quick.  They’d barely gotten back to her dorm when she’d pulled him inside and began scenting him; rubbing her nose against his pulse points and mating gland.  The beta fox chittered, unable to contain his own reactive nature to his mate, “Tony…take off your shirt.”

“Pep…that might not be the best choi-“

“I need it,” she said quickly, cutting him off with a quick kiss.  Tony melted against her, but when she pulled away, she’d had the hem of his shirt in her hands and was pulling it over his head.  He let her take it, but shot her an inquisitive look, nonetheless, “I want to show you something.”

“Okay?”

“Pr-promise me that you won’t freak out?”

Tony nodded, unsure of how he was going to react as his girlfriend took his hand in the one that wasn’t holding his shirt and led him down the hall to the spare bedroom.  She stopped in front of it and bit her lip, “promise?”

“Pep…what’s going on?”

“I-I’ve had some feelings the past two weeks,” she admitted, opening the door.  Tony’s breath hitched in his throat as he saw a perfectly prepared nest taking up the space of the bedroom.  His clothes and hers were littered throughout it along the floor, and the bed looked like a perfect, cozy little den, littered with blankets and pillows, “I-I’ve been taking your clothes because I wanted your scent in the nest…and I-“

“Pepper…this is beautiful…”

Pepper chittered and her eyes went wide.  Tony shot her a curious look, “I-I’m sorry.  I don’t know what that was.  I-“

He smiled, taking her hands in his own, “I know exactly what that was, Pepper…and I love you too…”

[naturodocc]

Do You Know These Myths About Naturopathic Medicine?

The healthcare industry is not the same today as it was a few decades ago. These days, we have achieved great success in treating various health issues through different approaches and practices. One of the trending ways of treating a variety of health issues is naturopathic medicine. 

Naturopathic medicine is a way to promote natural healing in a patient’s body. It is now gaining acceptance and recognition throughout the United States. 

According to the CDC, more than 30 million people in America have diabetes, and a large number of people are “pre-diabetic.” And so, many people are going with naturopathic treatment while consuming a natural and healthier diet. 

In addition to the prevalence of naturopathic treatments, there are many myths about the same. In this article, we will include some popular myths related to naturopathic practices, so you can know the truth. Keep reading to learn more. 

Naturopathic medicine is not science-based.

Many people think that it is not scientifically proven. You will see a completely different story when you look closely at it. Further, naturopathic treatment targets correct symptoms and dysfunction in the human body and mind due to disturbances in the determinants of health. 

These determinants are important, including clean water, nutritional factors, movement, exercise, sleep, loving relationships, and more. A naturopathic doctor is one who treats patients by balancing these disturbances. In addition, they also consider botanical medicines, physical medicine, and clinical nutrition. 

Naturopathic medicine and conventional medicine are opposed.

It is a common misconception that naturopathic practitioners oppose conventional medicine and don’t want their patients to go with traditional health care. 

In reality, many naturopathic professionals work with pharmaceutical medicine and often use prescription drugs for the best results. While pharmaceutical medication effectively treats specific symptoms, naturopathic medicine increases the natural healing power of the body.   

Naturopathic doctors are not well-trained. 

People can create misconceptions about anything. And one of the misconceptions is that naturopathic doctors don’t get proper training. But there is nothing like that. Naturopathic medicine professionals need to attend four-year full-time training with accredited medical schools. 

Like other medical doctors, these professionals have extensive knowledge of biochemistry, pathology, and pharmacology. They are licensed by recognized resources to start their practice. 

Naturopathy treatments are only about dietary supplements. 

For many people, naturopathy treatments are similar to natural supplements from a natural food store. But there is more than just getting some kinds of supplements. 

When you visit a naturopathic medicine professional, they will offer you a comprehensive treatment plan. This plan includes ways to increase one’s health through diet, lifestyle, and environment. 

If surgery or other treatment is required, they will refer you to other doctors as per your need. Even naturopathy doctors can do minor surgeries like stitching and removing the cyst. 

After all, naturopathy professionals have essential training to treat various health problems. 

Naturopathy medicine is not effective. 

Do you question the effectiveness of naturopathic medicine? You are not alone. Many people have doubts about the same. After all, if you have not visited a naturopathy doctor yet and are making this assumption, this doesn’t work. You first need to consult a professional to understand how things work. 

Moreover, naturopathy medicines help patients with several health problems, which has been proven by research. While there may be some side effects, you can’t ignore the benefits. 

Conclusion 

These are some myths about naturopathy medicines. If any myth comes to your mind, you first talk to a professional or learn about it. 

NATURODOC is your one-stop solution if you want to trigger the natural healing power of your body. We have several products to promote good health. To book an appointment with the doctor or by a product, visit the website.  

[miekasa]

speaking of college boys, what do the college au aot babies study??

Okay, okay, I think I’ve talked about this in an ask before but I can’t find it 😭😭 but it’s okay, I love college aus, so I’ll talk about it again! Plus, now I’ve got more thoughts for more characters, so here we go

Levi — neuroscience and psychology of human behavior

He started out on track to do a bachelor of arts in psychology, but when they touched on the anatomy and biological parts of it during his first year lecture, he switched to a bachelor of science.

The focus is still psychology, but through a more clinical lens. Essentially, he gets the best of both worlds this way. He’s intuitive and analytical, so clinical and mental diagnosis is easy to dissect for him. He’s also canonically good at math, so the calculus and stats parts aren’t too bad, either.

This major also leaves him with a few options post-grad, which is a nice bonus for him. He’s likely going to medical school, but that’s not the only route open to him: law school, therapy, lab work, medicine and pharmacy, even teaching are all viable options without going to grad school.

Do not talk to him about Freud unless you wanna get punted off a building.

Be careful with him, because with a single glance he’s already got scarily accurate predictions about your parental and emotional attachment styles, your behavior in social settings, and the onset (or seemingly lack thereof) of your frontal lobe development.

He thinks he’s so smart making comments like, “I see those synaptic connections aren’t working so well for you today,” like mf come here let me lobotomize you and see how well your synaptic connects are working after that🙄

Eren — general health sciences

He’s interested in science and the discovery aspects of it, but picking a specific field of focus right now feels too final. He likes it this way, because his schedule and requirements are less restrictive, and he has more room to find out what really interests him.

He does best when he’s doing something he loves, so picking a major with a bunch of reqs that he couldn’t care less about would have sucked big time for him. It also would have affected his grades. There are still some classes he has to take that he’s not fond of (see: chemistry), but that’s to be expected. Science in general is cool to him and he hopes to make his own discovery some day, even if it’s microscopic.

He also plays a lot of sports, keeping his schedule flexible is important. The sports end up helping him excel academically, which is a nice bonus. Honestly, Eren uses his time at university to learn more about himself than anything, so having control and freedom to do what he likes the majority of the time was important to him. 

He uses his elective credits to take philosophy or history courses of his interest, or maybe even a course that you’re in just to spend time with you. He also uses you as a live model for his homework bye, congrats on being patient number one to him.

Armin — astronomy and physics

He’s still interested in marine biology, but unless he attended a school near a coast, or with a specialized integrated program for that, it’s unlikely he’d major in it during undergrad.

Space and ocean exploration aren’t all that different. Both are vast, largely unexplored domains that reel-in Armin’s interest for discovery. So, while studying astronomy, he still gets to study evolution and make his own predictions about what could be out there because there’s so much to know.

Physics comes with the territory of learning about planetary science, and he’s mathematically inclined, so it works out for him. Learning about the different physical properties of other planets and space masses is honestly pretty sick to him. Because math isn’t a struggle, he actually considered aeronautical engineering, but he didn’t want to be a part of the college to military pipeline; that is, he didn’t want any potential design of his to be weaponized. 

He still gets to study animal biology through his elective courses, and might even find a few focused on marine animals to satiate him. Plant and cell biology are also of interest to him, and are just further applications of his primary study anyway, so he’s got plenty of room to work with.

This boy is interning at NASA and still, with his whole chest out is like, “I don’t need to discover a new planet, you’re my whole world.” Armin, go check on the Mars rover or something please.

Mikasa — anthropology + minor in japanese language studies

Anthropology is virtually interdisciplinary in nature, and Mikasa is a pretty well rounded student, so she’s able to excel in a program like this. She gets to study history, science, cultural studies, and even a bit of art all at once.

She’s still debating between going to law school vs med school, so anthro this is a good in-betweener. She gets a taste of science through her anatomy and kin courses; and lots of practice with reading and dissecting texts through the historical and cultural lectures. So, when the time comes to decide, she’ll have some experience with both.

Don’t know whether it’s confirmed that she’s (part) Japanese or not, but either way I headcanon that she speaks/spoke some second language at home. She wanted to delve more into it, and courses were offered at the university so why not?

Cultural studies courses end up being her favorite. She likes learning about the history of people and their cultures, and it encourages her to learn more about her own family history and culture. It also propels her to apply for a study abroad opportunity, so she spends at least one semester doing an exchange program and absolutely loves it.

She would also encourage you to apply and go, too. You guys might not be in the same program, but if there’s an applicable program in the same country she’s going to, then she’d definitely want you to apply. Spending the semester away with you would be a dream come true.

Hange — bioengineering + minor in political philosophy and law

It’s almost self-sabotage to be in an engineering program and have a minor; the coursework for engineering alone is backbreaking, and bioengineering has the added weight of human intricacies, but of course Hange makes it possible. 

They’re nothing short of a genius, so of course they have time to work a completely unrelated minor into their schedule. It doesn’t surprise anyone that they go on to complete an MD-PhD after undergrad. Insane. 

Bioengineering is essentially the synthesis of chemical engineering and health sciences; Hange spends their time exploring biological sciences and applies the engineering aspects of their coursework to their understanding of (and interest in creating) medicine. Truly a one of a kind mind. 

They also have an interest in philosophy and justice, so when they found out they only needed a measly nine or ten courses to minor in, they went for it, of course. In honesty, they don’t find the studies all that opposing: both law making and medicine making both have some kind of philosophy or method to them in their eyes. 

Hange has... little to no free time pls. They don’t mind it, because they love their coursework, but this means you are essentially ducking into their labs or scrambling to find them in-between their classes during your time in undergrad. They appreciate every second spent with you tho, and will gladly rope you into long discussions about their work. 

Jean — biochemistry + minor in art sustainability

He was undeclared his first year, and took a little bit of everything: art, science, history, anthropology, english. Basically, anything that fit into his schedule. It was hard for him to pick one thing—he liked the science and lab applications of STEM courses, but not the math; and the obvious painting and creativity of art, but hated the pretentious air about art history.

What he wants to do is make a difference, which is how he ends up knowing that he wants to go to med school after, so he picks a science-heavy major, but uses his elective spaces to take art courses. When he mixes the two, he ends up on sustainability—and the complexities about it that are applicable to both science and art are what really reels him in.

Interdisciplinary studies end up being his forte. He can approach sustainability from a science perspective which impacts his art style and materials; and tuning into his creative side allows him to think about science not just from a purely clinical perspective, but from a human one, too—patients are people after all.

He believes that everything is connected somehow, even things as seemingly opposite as art and biochemistry. And he works towards finding the unique intersection where everything overlaps. His studies are pretty cool, and he’s very passionate about them, so ask him about it 😌

The art he makes is pretty sick, too, and often commentary about science; he’s proving they’re not so opposite. You also heavily influence his studies in both areas: caring about you so much inspires him to take the healthcare focus seriously, and your very nature is inspiration to his art. 

Sasha — nursing

She’s friendly and good at working with people, so nursing was an easy choice for her. She accredits most of her motivation to being around her younger family members, and learns that she finds a simple kind of joy in helping to take care of others.

She struggles a bit her first year when it’s mostly all grades and standardized testing, but when she starts getting clinical experience and working in the hospital on campus, things round out for her.

Patient care is her strongest point. A lot of people often forget that knowing everything isn’t everything; if you don’t know how to calm or even just talk to your patient, you’re not that great of a healthcare professional.

Pretty certain that she wants to work with kids in the future, but she’s open to public health and even being a travel nurse if she finds opportunity there!

Of course, she’s pretty doting when it comes to you and all her friends. She might want to go into pediatrics, but the basics of nursing and health care extend to everyone, so you’re guaranteed to be well taken care of with Sasha around. You might even have to switch roles and take care of her sometimes, because her coursework can get pretty out of hand.

Connie — computer engineering with a focus on game design

He might not look it, but Connie has a brain under that shaved head of his. Computer engineering is cool to him because he basically learns about how simple things he uses every day (ie: phone, computer, microwave) works.

Systems and coding are actually the easy part for him, especially when they get into the application of it and aren’t just stuck looking at examples. That’s how he gets into game design.

The part about math and electricity and magnetic fields… well let’s just say he needed to make friends with someone who likes math and hardware his first year to get through it. But the struggle was worth it, because by his junior year he’s found a professor willing to mentor/supervise him as he works on his game and other projects, so life is good.

His school work is definitely hard, which is why the lives by the mantra of “work hard, party harder.” It’s only fair. 

He makes you a little avatar so you can test out his games for him <33 best boyfriend things <33 He’d also… build a game about your relationship. Every level is a different date you guys went on, and he definitely includes something cheesy, like “There are unlimited lives because I love you forever babe <3”

Porco — kinesiology + maybe mechanical engineering

He’s pretty into athletics and working out, but didn’t wanna go down the sports psychology route; he wanted something that left him with a few more options, so he ended up in kinesiology.

He was surprisingly pretty good at biology in high school, so something stem-oriented works out in his favor, and it turns out he’s pretty damn good at anatomy, too. He’ll probably end up in physical therapy after graduation.

He’s also got a knack for cars, which is where the engineering comes in, but he doesn’t care so much for the math part of it (he doesn’t care for it at all actually, fuck that); he just wants the hands on experience of building/fixing things and working with his hands. So, if he can get a minor in it and not struggle through 4 years of math, then he’d do that. If not, he’d take a few workshop-like classes.

Because he wants to go into physical therapy, you are essentially his practice patient. Your back hurts? Not a problem, he’s basically a professional masseuse. Muscle aches? He’s got a remedy and understanding of why it’s happening. Don’t let him catch you hunting over your desk grinding away at your homework, because he will poke your neck and correct your posture (he’ll also massage your shoulders, but after the scolding).

Pieck — classics + minor in philosophy

Ancient studies interest her, but more than that, the language of ancient Greek and Roman culture fascinates her, so classics is the way to go.

Because her focus within Classics ends up being Greek and Latin language studies, she is essentially learning both languages at the same time. She gets farther with Latin that she does with Greek. For whatever reason, the former comes almost naturally to her, so her written and translated work is more complex in Latin.

However, she finds cultural studies relation to Greece more interesting than that of Rome, so it’s a give and take with both; better at languages for Roman studies, better at culture and history for Greek studies.

Her minor is a natural evolution from her primary coursework. Ancient Romans and Greeks set the foundation for a lot of modern day philosophy, so it comes up in her major classes, but she wanted to delve further into the philosophy, and not just look at it historically, so she takes more courses to fulfill the minor.

Can be found laying on a blanket in the quad on a hot day, with her books spread out all around her, highlighter in hand as she works through her reading. You’re always invited to sit with her, and more often than not, it ends up with Pieck’s head in your lap, a book in her hands, and your own schoolwork in yours as you both read in each other’s company.

Bertholdt — computer science and coding

He’s level headed, good at planning, and above all, patient, so he’s cut out for this. He doesn’t consider himself to be particularly creative, which is why he doesn’t pick a speciality with lots of design; but he’s good at streamlining and ideas to life.

The patience really comes in when his code doesn’t run. It’s frustrating to scroll for two hours just to find out that the issue is a missing semi-colon in line 273 that he overlooked, but Berty will sit there until he finds it.

He’s also good at fixing issues. That’s not limited to issues in the code itself; it can mean finding shorter ways to produce the same function or loop, or integrating new aspects into existing code.

Also, he’d just be so cute, coding away on his computer. Just imagine: Berty working on his homework in the library, he’s got his signature crewneck + collared shirt look going for him, his blue-light glasses, a cup of coffee nearly as tall as him sitting at the corner of his desk. Adorable.

He’d make little codes/programs for you, too, even if it’s silly. A simple code that helps you decide what to eat for dinner or where to go on a date, one that shuffles different reminders for you, hell he’ll even forgo the torture of design engineering just to build you a little robot that says “I love you” to you.

Reiner — english + minor in justice & political philosophy

Everyone expects Reiner, star quarterback of the university’s rugby team, to be a business student or communications student; but no, he’s an English major, and he loves it.

Just imagine a guy as huge as Reiner absolutely manhandling someone on the field, just to show up in his lectures with a tiny paperback of The Great Gatsby tucked between his fingers with his reading glasses on. It’s so precious.

He’s always running a bit late to class—either coming from the gym, or practice, or oversleeping from exhaustion—but he’s so sweet to his professors and genuinely interested in the literature that they don’t give him a hard time about it. They can tell that balancing school and sports is difficult, and they just appreciate that he takes his studies seriously.

Yeah he’s in a book club and he dog-ears his books. What about it. They’re doing poetry this month and Reiner actually likes Edgar Allen Poe. Who said jocks can’t be sentimental.

He also reads a lot outside of his classes, and has a soft spot for coming of age stories. He usually empathizes with the main character somehow. His ideal weekend plans after a week of grueling games and essays is taking a long, relaxing shower at your place, while you both share a bottle of wine, and maybe even get you to read a chapter or two of his current book out loud to him.

Annie — clinical psychology/neuroscience

Almost scarily analytical and methodic, so this major was calling her name. Localizing brain legions is… insanely intuitive to her it’s incredible. She’ll be an insanely impressive doctor someday, even if she doesn’t end up working with patients directly. 

She doesn’t care too much for the more philosophical/reading heavy parts of psychology. Even experiments and research closer to the social end of the spectrum aren’t all that interesting to her; but the brain science behind it it.

Nobody should be good at cellular biology. Nobody should be able to ace cell bio and neuro and calc and work towards their thesis proposal in the same semester, but Annie proves it’s possible.

Ends up working in one of her professor’s labs by her junior year. She was offered three TA positions working with first year students, but she swiftly turned them down. Teaching isn’t her thing.

She doesn’t bring up her studies to you unprompted, but if you ask her about them she’ll explain it to you. Her notes are color coded and it’s super neat, and very cute; coloring them is somewhat relaxing for her. She usually saves the coloring part for when you guys study together; there’s extra comfort in doing it with you around.

[khalixascorner]

Soft as Iron Pt 2

Summary: Tony is known as the hardest, meanest mafia don on the eastern coast. However when he rescues Peter from human traffickers while taking down some rivals, he finds himself becoming soft just for the boy. Based on @dumb-bitch-starker mafia boss Tony being so soft for his baby boy post here and @monster-cock69 Peter falls asleep on Tony's lap while Tony fucks him. (That stuff is in later chapters.)

Part 1 Read on AO3

Tags: Mafia AU Mob Boss Tony Stark Italian Tony Stark Alternate Universe - No Powers, Mob Typical Violence Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, in the past Not with Tony Kidnapped Peter Parker Orphan Peter Parker, Protective Tony Stark, Tony rescues him, Soft Tony Stark Peter Parker Has Panic Attacks

Thanks to @the-mad-starker for being my beautiful, wonderful, most amazing beta and friend.

Peter had been living with Tony for two years when he realized that how he felt for the older man went beyond feelings for a parental figure or mentor. The mob boss had arranged tutors and homeschooling after he had rescued Peter, and it had taken Peter only a few months to finish High School and start college. At 19, he already had his first associates degree and was working towards a Bachelor’s degree in Chemical Engineering and Biochemistry. Life was good, he felt safe, and Tony’s men made sure no one bothered him the few times he decided to go out.

So it had been a shock when Peter had caught sight of Tony changing one day by accident, and instead of just brushing it off like he had before, his face turned beet red and his pants suddenly felt far too tight. Peter had fled after apologizing and had not been able to face Tony for the next week without flushing immediately.

The more he thought about it though, the more he realized it wasn’t just physical attraction either. He had admired the older man for so long but time spent by his side in the lab and just in their daily life had tempered that to a fond exasperation, though there was no denying the man’s genius. After another week of stuttering and avoidance, Peter came to the conclusion that he was head over heels in love with the older man.

*************************

Peter found Tony in his office a few days after his revelation. He had debated how to proceed but honestly, Peter missed being around Tony without feeling unsettled, and the only way to fix that was to clear the air. Even if he was rejected, at least he wouldn’t feel the need to hide, and Tony wasn’t likely to care that he was gay, as the older man had been known to spend time with any and all designations as it took his fancy.

He knocked lightly, waiting for Tony to call before stepping in. Peter made sure to close the door behind him, partly stalling for time and partly wanting to make sure they weren’t disturbed.

“What’s up, Pete?” Tony asked, setting his paperwork aside to give the boy his full attention.

“I’m sorry about how I’ve been acting lately,” Peter started, his hands picking at the hem of his shirt.

“Hey, no apologies necessary,” Tony started but Peter shook his head.

“Please just- just let me say what I need to say or I’m probably going to chicken out again,” Peter said. He felt like he might puke or cry, and it suddenly got harder to breath.

“Easy, Pete,” Tony said, suddenly beside him, guiding them both to the couches. “Deep breaths, in 1, 2, 3, and out.”

Tony’s voice was steady, and Peter latched on to it like he had ever since the man had rescued him. It seemed like he was always saving him and making him safe, one way or another.

“There we go,” Tony said as Peter finally got his breath under control. “Now, I know you said let you talk but let me say something first, ok?”

Peter nodded, eyes glancing hesitantly at Tony.

“No matter what you have to say, it’s going to be ok,” Tony said firmly. “This is your home and I don’t care what the problem is. We’ll figure it out, ok?”

Peter nodded again, leaning into Tony and taking a deep breath.

“So, um, I, ah. Sorry,” Peter stopped and took a deep breath. “Tony, I’m in love with you.”

When the man didn’t say anything right away, Peter started rambling out of panic.

“I know what you’re going to say and I’m totally sure. It started when I saw you with your top off and then I was like, what the heck, because I got hard and that’s never happened and it was mortifying and I couldn’t control it and then I couldn’t stop thinking of you, like not other guys, just you, and I know I’m young and all but mmph-”

Peter’s eyes went wide then slipped closed with a moan as Tony captured his lips, cutting him off. He couldn’t help but melt into the kiss, brain turning off but everything else definitely turning on.

“Tooony.” Peter would have been embarrassed by the whine if he wasn’t so hard from just a kiss.

“Oh pretty boy,” Tony said, gently stroking Peter’s face. “I’m going to take such good care of you.”

*********************************************

Tony had noticed Peter’s odd behavior. How could he not have? But he’d dealt with younger members acting like this before and generally it was best to just let them come to him on their own time. And Peter had, faster than many of the others even.

However, he hadn’t expected this to be the issue The boy’s direct confession followed by his rambling warmed Tony, and the man couldn’t help but claim the lips being offered to him. Maybe, if he were a better man, he would tell the kid no. It was an abuse of their relationship and the boy’s feelings towards him were influenced by Tony’s pivotal role in saving him and keeping him safe.

But Tony wasn’t a good man. He took what he wanted and ruled with an iron fist, and the only one exempt from that was his boy. So he took him, kissing him deeply and pulling Peter into his lap. He quickly opened his pants then pulled Peter’s cock out as well so he could rut against the boy. It was a bit dry at first, but the boy was leaking enough that he got them both wet in no time.

Tony nibbled at Peter’s lip, squeezing them tighter and drawing a guttural moan from the boy.

“Tony, please,” Peter begged.

“That’s it, baby,” Tony murmured, bringing their foreheads together. “Look at you, so beautiful for me.”

Peter sobbed as Tony’s praise pushed him over. Tony held back as long as he could, drinking in the euphoric look on his boy’s face, but soon, he was coming too, emptying himself all over Peter’s cock and groin.

“Look at you,” Tony whispered again, drawing Peter into a gentler kiss this time and pulling him close, uncaring of the mess between them. “Ti amo, Tesoro. I love you.”

“You mean it?” Peter whispered, and Tony’s heart tightened painfully in his chest for a moment.

“Of course I do,” Tony replied fiercely. “I love you more than anything in this world, and I’ll remove anything that hurts you from it. You are my precious treasure, my beautiful boy.”

“So, does that mean I’m your boyfriend?” Peter asked, and Tony grinned at the innocence.

“No, Tesoro,” Tony said, rubbing their noses together. “We’re lovers, and you’re my baby boy.”

“Should I call you daddy then?” Peter asked dryly, and Tony chuckled.

“Only if you want, sweetheart,” he replied. “Tony suits me just fine too.”

There was a pause, and Tony caught the hesitance in Peter’s face.

“What is it, love?” Tony asked.

“Um, I- well I don’t have much experience with this stuff, and I don’t think I’d like pain or anything,” Peter said, his cheeks turning bright red.

“Then we don’t play like that,” Tony said matter of factly. “We can try anything you want to try but if you don’t want it, we won’t do it. Not ever.”

“Won’t you get bored?”

“Tesoro, I love you, not some wet dream version of you. Just you,” Tony said, pausing before adding. “And I just came faster than I have in years just from a hand job, so I really don’t think it’s anything you need to worry about.”

Peter chuckled and snuggled closer, a warm weight in Tony’s arms. They probably should get cleaned up but honestly, it was comfy right there for now.