#we had Carver who had a hard-on for Crowley

[casandpuppies]

Okay, but I see people talking about how heartbreaking Dean’s prayer to Chuck was, and I guess it would be if not for one thing that keeps me from taking it seriously...LITERALLY WHY WOULD DEAN GIVE A SHIT ABOUT CROWLEY? At best, Crowley is a convenient tool for when the Winchesters need something done. He is not their friend. He’s not their ally. He was the King of Hell, and he was always out for himself. He’d take whatever side is most beneficial to him. Yeah, he helped the Winchesters on occasion, but how many times did he double-cross them too? There is no reason for Dean to want Crowley back. There’s no reason for him to feel anything other than “oh, well he was a pain in the ass but he could be useful at times,” at best.

JFC, stop trying to make Crowley as important to Dean as Cas. The very idea that Dean and Crowley’s relationship is even in the same league as his relationship with Cas is utterly laughable. Fuck you, writers. Stop trying to compare them. Crowley was a piece of shit. He didn’t need or deserve a redemption arc. He doesn’t deserve a speck of Dean’s grief. Stop trying to make Cas’ death less meaningful by putting him on the same level as Crowley.

God, this show’s hard-on for Crowley remains even after the Carver-era, and even after he was written off the show. :\ Meanwhile, their disdain for Cas and Cas fans rings loud and clear.

[spiders-hth-is-an-outlier]

Possibly a big ask to get just out of the blue but: what are your Supernatural season opinions? Which one is your favorite? Least favorite? Did you watch long enough to have showrunner opinions? If yes, which showrunner is your favorite and which is your least favorite? If no, which season that you haven't seen most tempts you to get back in the Supernatural trenches? Answer exactly as many of these questions as you want to. Carry on.

You know, I am not sure how long this Ask has been sitting here, because my Tumblr notifications are borked -- I hope not long? If long, I apologize, I wasn't ignoring it on purpose!

Okay, so I have more than the average number of Supernatural opinions, probably, but I'll try to keep this to a dull roar! Inside Me There Are Two Wolves: one of them believes that only the original five seasons of Supernatural are worth defending in any way, the other really, really loves seasons 11 and 12. The Kripke Era had a lot of problems, particularly in its treatment of women as bodies without agency and its treatment of Black men as literal predators, but also for all its flaws, it had a kind of coherence and narrative drive that comes from being the product of a dude who obviously cared about it and had something to say. Taken on its own, seasons 1-5 are a brutal and compelling story about the traumas of being men in a universe that's been absolutely destroyed by its Fathers: on almost every level, it's about these abandoned and brutalized boys discovering that their entire reality is the product of an abandoning and brutalizing God, populated by authority figures who are universally demanding and arrogant, but also completely fucking useless. It's quite literally about Sam and Dean trying to hang onto their souls and their own agency when everyone around them wants them forced into shapes formed by conflicts that fell into place at the beginning of time. It's hard to remember, but back then even the Lucifer plotline was about that! It was about the damage fathers inflict on sons! Things were about things, in the Kripke era!

Then we get to the Gamble era, and. Woof. I actually -- don't hate 6 and 7? Like everything Sera Gamble touches, those two seasons are kinetic and memorable and funny and weird and hit some really, really great emotional beats. There are Some Problems, but Gamble was saddled with a pretty dire job, trying to find a way forward after everything about the series really had effectively wrapped up in Swan Song, and I think she did an okay job. People got mad at her for killing Castiel, but you know, damn, I give her this: that was a storyline. Like, this character who was fresh out of the cult he was raised in becoming disillusioned by how messy normal life is and deciding that maybe people need better authoritarianism instead -- the way he's driven to take too many risks by the fact that he's abandoned and desperate -- Crowley as a legitimately scary villain while still being charming af -- and the tragic resolution of Castiel being torn apart by both his hubris and his heroism. It's actually really good. I understand why people didn't want what Gamble was serving up -- and I'm able to like it because it was undone later, you know? -- but she really did commit to a full season of character arc and saw it all the way through to an earned ending, and I gotta respect that.

I genuinely hate seasons 8 and 9. I think everyone is a dick, particularly but not exclusively Dean, to the point where I just find it a bummer to watch. I mean, you get Benny, and I love Benny. You get, I dunno, bits and bobs of decent episodes, but overall they are very fucked up seasons in my opinion. So Carver era is on thin fucking ice with me, but I do think you start to get a rebound in season 10 with the Mark of Cain stuff, although I wish they'd managed to keep Cain around longer. All the really good Claire stuff starts happening, which is nice because Claire, but also because for once the show is really letting itself go back and deal with the mess these protagonists leave behind them constantly. Castiel and Claire have maybe the most interesting non-Winchester relationship on the show. Oh, and Rowena shows up around here too, right? Love her. So the back half of Carver, 10 and 11, are starting to really gain traction for me. The world is building outward, secondary characters are starting to be genuine characters in their own right, the politics of Heaven and Hell get a little richer and more interesting. The show is really starting to feel like it takes place in a universe, which is great because we love the Frigging Winchesters, but they shouldn't be the only thing going, right? We have 15 seasons to get through! Season 11 is basically bracketed by what are probably my two favorite Supernatural episodes: Baby and Don't Call Me Shurley. (I think I'm the world's only living Metatron fan; I fucking love that little dude.)

Dabb takes over in 12, and I really, really, genuinely love season 12. I fucking love Mary. There are so many episodes I adore -- Celebrating the Life of Asa Fox is a special favorite of mine, and I remain pissed off that the Banes twins never made it to recurring status, bluntly that feels wildly racist to me -- probably the best three-episode streak in the show is Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets to Regarding Dean to Stuck In the Middle (With You), three just almost perfect episodes. So I was poised to really love the Dabb era. I wanted to! My body was ready!

And I do really love the first chunk of season 13, the Widow Winchester arc. Obviously I'm a romantic, love that for me, but it's just also really good? The acting, the writing, the psychological complexity of Dean wanting Jack to be Bad so he has an outlet for his anger and Sam wanting Jack to be Good so he can retroactively parent himself and raise a Lucifer-tainted child who isn't crippled by self-loathing. Billie's great, and it looks like she's going to start being one of the major powers of the universe. Unfortunately -- with the occasional exception of this or that solid episode -- that's kind of the end of Pretty Good Supernatural. Season 13 kind of unravels; season 14 always feels like it's looking for itself (which is a bummer, because I wanted very much to care about Michael); season 15 is, idk. Idk about any of it, it's all pretty pointless. I feel bad complaining on some level, because the show's been on for like fourteen years at this point! It's kinda justified in feeling a little worn out. But the reality is that the later seasons systematically undo all the expansion that had excited me earlier -- the Wayward Sisters crew pretty much vanishes when the spinoff isn't picked up, Naomi and the angels stop doing anything, Crowley's gone, Mary's gone for much of it. We're just kind of futzing around with monsters who don't seem to matter (very much including Lucifer, who hasn't mattered in ages) and a lot of Jack, who. I try not to shit all over, because I know he's a popular character, but I find him just ungodly boring. Everything in the last two and a half season just feels like it's headed nowhere in particular, and also it bored me. The Empty deal is just sadness porn; it doesn't have any resonance or meaning in terms of Castiel's character, it's just him agreeing to die for his kid, which is okay, it means he's a loving dad, which he is, but there's no conflict there, ergo no real drama. It's just mean; it happens because it'll make us sad, and no other reason. Rowena is the only strong secondary character left, and her ending also doesn't feel particularly relevant to her, it's just a generic Sacrifice to Save the World. Everything just feels like they're autogenerating plotlines, rather than letting the actual needs and drives of the characters shape the narrative. So while I have this weird split personality with Carver where I either hate what he's doing or I love it, most of the Dabb era is just. There. It doesn't make me feel anything except kind of tired and embarrassed. Which is a bummer, because I have an inexplicable fondness for Dabb, probably just because of how much I love s12. I wanted to love his seasons! I did love his first season! I feel like maybe something happened when the CW rejected Wayward Sisters? I know that was kind of his darling, and it feels like maybe losing that kind of sucked the joy out of him, and he's kind of checked-out by the end. That's genuinely just my guess, however.

That's Professor Milo's Intro to Supernatural Studies, don't forget to fill out your course survey on the way out!

[according-to-the-laura]

StackedNatural Day 17: 7x03, 10x01, 11x01

StackedNatural Masterpost: [x]

October 7, 2021

7x03: The Girl Next Door

Written by: Andrew Dabb & Daniel Loflin

Directed by: Jensen Ackles

Original air date: October 7, 2011

Plot Synopsis:

Sam reunites with a childhood girlfriend who is supposedly preying on human brains.

Features:

Stoned Dean, Bobby is alive, more Sam hallucinations, Baby Sam, Sam goes rogue, Kitsune, the Superwho crossover we all wanted in 2011 (kind of), Dean is a liar, perpetuating the cycle of murdering parents in front of their children.

My Thoughts:

Okay y’all this post is gonna be fast and dirty because it is rapidly approaching my bedtime and I have things to do tomorrow.

Before I even watched this episode I wrote a note saying that they did us dirty because if they absolutely HAD to kill Dean in the finale then this kid should have done it.

I adore Dean and Bobby in the hospital. Little father-son face pat. The escape scene is really tense and well-filmed.

When I see Sam look sad and do the hand thing my latent Samgirl tendencies from like 2010 poke their heads up and this episode was good to them, especially with baby Sam. We love to see an episode here or there for the Samgirls.

A few years ago one of my friends told me I was a caricature of myself (I had just told them that in university I quit the acapella choir so I would have more time for the musical theatre club, it was justified) and I think about that every time Dean talks about pie.

It’s a shame that the leviathans had no lead up in their reveal and that the cgi is so bad on them because otherwise they’re actually decent monsters - I like it when the monsters are really smart. But the bad stuff overshadows it so much that I still hate them as a plotline.

Don’t love that they used the threat of sexual violence in a plot with a 15 year old girl so that baby Sam can be a white knight, but this is Supernatural so I don’t know what I was expecting.

I like that the kids bond over abusive parents. Once again, this is a John Winchester hate blog.

Is the scene where Sam gets punched in the face the same motel set from episode one? The shot is basically identical to when Sam drags Dean into the motel while he’s covered in mud.

Overall a pretty good episode, weird that they have baby Sam say three times that you have to stab a kitsune in the heart and then they’re all killed by being stabbed in the stomach region, but whatever.

Notable/Kickass Lines:

“They gave me morphine. A lot. Hey, look, a monster broke my leg.”

“Sam, you are a freak. But so was, I don't know, Jimi Hendrix and... Picasso. So am I. All the coolest people are freaks.”

“You're a hunter. So... You're supposed to kill me? And I'm supposed to kill you?”

“I see the way you look at me, Dean, like I'm a grenade and you're waiting for me to go off.”

“People... They are who they are. No matter how hard you try, you are what you are. You will kill again.”

Laura’s (completely subjective) Episode Rating: 8.0

IMdB Rating: 8.2

10x01: Black

Written by: Jeremy Carver

Directed by: Robert Singer

Original air date: October 7, 2014

Plot Synopsis:

Dean is a demon and running amuck with Crowley while Sam tries to figure out what happened to his brother. Meanwhile, Castiel is dealing with his diminishing grace.

Features:

Sam going to Any Lengths, Cas’ sexy French depression bathrobe, Drowley summer of love, Jeremy Renner knock-off, Demon Dean doesn’t make deals, an angel with human values.

My Thoughts:

I remember so little about this episode but I DID remember the sexy French depression bathrobe and I DID say “oh, Dean, his nipple is out” out loud while watching.

This is a good episode for me. I know Dean is a Demon but it’s nice to see him with so much less stress so I think he’s allowed a little murder, as a treat. He’s getting to do all the things he wasn’t allowed to do in his 20s because he was listening to John! E’s singing karaoke and probably having threesomes with men! I also kind of like it when the brothers act completely unhinged while trying to find each other. It’s just fun!

I gasped out loud in indignation when Crowley and Dean did the bitch jerk thing, even though I am extremely obsessed with the Drowley summer of love.

I was talking about Hannah having bad gaydar and the friend that I was watching it with said that Hanna reminder her of herself like five years ago when she thought she was straight and dated her best friend and then later they both turned out to be gay.

I don’t give a shit about the Jeremy Renner knock off hunter, but I was also watching with @meg3point0 and she said, “this guy is a hunter or ex-military or both” right before it showed his military photo, so everyone please give her a round of applause. She also wants me to quote her as saying “even when the show tries to make Sam the protagonist, it’s still about Dean”, which is correct.

Other things about this episode: the gay subtext is basically text at this point. Crowley basically proposed to Dean in this shitty little bar and Dean was like “a but I’m just a bachelor rolling through town” like come on.

Finally, I promised my brother-in-law that I would write “Deanmon” at the end of my post, so here.

Notable/Kickass Lines:

“I need your help. Heaven needs your help.”

“You mean when porn guy was stabbing the other guy to death 10 feet in front of me, and I was having a total code-brown moment in my favorite freakin' pants because I thought I was next, did I conduct a field interview?...No.”

“You know what tickles me about all this? It's what's really eating you up. You don't care that he's a demon. Heck, you've been a demon. We've all been demons. No, it's that he's with me and he's having the time of his life. You can't stand the fact that he's mine.”

“For the first time in thousands of years, I have choices.”

“We've howled. We've bayed. We've done extraordinary things to triplets, all of which have been massively entertaining.”

“ There's seemingly nothing but chaos. But not all bad comes from it. Art. Hope. Love. Dreams.”

Laura’s (completely subjective) Episode Rating: 8.6

IMdB Rating: 8.3

11x01: Out of the Darkness, Into the Fire

Written by: Jeremy Carver

Directed by: Robert Singer

Original air date: October 7, 2015

Plot Synopsis:

Dean and Sam dealing with the aftermath of freeing the darkness on earth.

Features:

Infections that should have been Croatoan if we were gonna bring it full circle, Cas as a rabid dog, Amara the baby, the Darkness setting off alarms in Heaven and Hell, complete lack of chemistry between Dean and the Darkness.

My Thoughts:

This is my first time seeing this episode all the way through because this is exactly where I lost interest when it was airing live and I picked it back up in season 12 after the confession because @weedsinavacantlot only wanted me to watch the lead up to Jack.

I don’t really care for this episode tb and also it’s homophobic that all the other leads get to look hot when they go rabid forplot reasons but Cas looks like trash. Unfair to me personally.

Hilarious that Jenna hurt herself on rebar. We love a little accidental foreshadowing.

Dean and the darkness have so little chemistry it’s hilarious. Jackals just looks confused the entire time they’re on screen together.

Watching all these pseudo-zombies truck in to surround our heroes like why are they doing a shitty version of dta (not to make everything about dta, but come on).

I hate that demons used to be scary and now they’re just guys in suits. Surely there was a way to avoid this.

Notable/Kickass Lines:

“You didn’t call for help until after the orgy?”

“ Dean, if we don't change -- right now -- all of our crap is just gonna keep repeating itself.”

Laura’s (completely subjective) Episode Rating: 6.5

IMdB Rating: 8.6

In Conclusion: First three episode day totally kicked my ass, wis me luck for tomorrow.

<< Previous Day | Next Day >>

[dotthings]

Really, I loved the Sam and Dean scene at the end, and the callback to the pilot, and I love that they have each other, that’s not a bad thing to me, but I want to talk a bit more what’s actually going on there with Dean’s “you and me against all the forces of Hell” and the pointed Cas omission of that line that contradicts the actual episode contents--and it’s not SPN dissing or forgetting Cas, it’s not sloppy writing. It’s has a specific purpose.

“Okay, Chuck… or god, or whatever. I need your help. See, you– you left us. You left us. You went off. You said… You said the earth would be fine because it had me… and it had Sam, but it’s not, and we’re not. We’ve lost everything (voice breaks). And now you’re gonna bring him back. Okay? You’re gonna bring back Cas, you’re gonna bring back Mom, you’re gonna bring ‘em all back. All of ‘em. Even Crowley. ’Cause after everything that you’ve done, you owe us, you son of a bitch. So you get your ass down here and you make this right, right here and right now.”

-Dean in 13.01, Lost and Found, written by Andrew Dabb

Dean: We will find a better way. Castiel: You mean, we? Dean: Yes, dumbass. We. You, me, and Sam, we're just better together. So now that you're back, let's go, Team Free Will. Let's get it done.

-12.19, The Future, written by Andrew Dabb

In an episode, penned by same author, that had Cas part of the team, outright trapped in a foxhole with Sam and Dean, who saved Sam’s life, competently smited zombies and shot ghosts in the face with rock salt, tended carefully and with concern to Sam’s wound, same as Dean did, was immensely sad about Dean’s brush off, and was there at the center of the action, with Sam and Dean, the entire episode, that line of Dean that excludes Cas isn’t authorial voice intent, it isn’t show canon intent, it isn’t some marketing ploy to keep "brosonlies” happy without thought, and it isn’t there to show Dean that Dean Cas out of the picture and only wants to work with Sam. It’s obviously not what Dean wants. He’s miserable. Cas is miserable. Sam is miserable.

Same. Damn. Author. Who has been consistent in his long term plans in canon of family don’t end with blood being important, even in PR for S15 stated Sam, Dean, Cas, Jack are a family and will be reunited.

That line wasn’t there to celebrate Sam and Dean isolation against the world or parade the bro bond alone as what the show is. This isn’t a knock against the bro bond either. The nostalgia parts were genuine, Dean tending Sam’s wound, the trunk slam, “we got work to do.” It’s also a good thing they have each other, and I’m glad they have each other. But this is Dean in a snit with his at least symbolic husband and chosen non-blood life mate Cas (whether you ship it or not, Dean and Cas’s canon story is their canon story) retreating petulantly to the older most familiar ground, for now. It’s simple. It feels safe. He can’t deal with Cas right now, Dean’s got so many sad feelings. Sam and Dean as siblings have a unique shared experience, Dean has cared for Sam since Sam was in diapers. That connection doesn’t go away because other relationships are important too, and it’s a valid shelter from the storm. 

Same author, people. Same exact author. I realize that line is going to get used as a flag to ode the bro bond but...frankly, that’s using something that was actually about Dean’s snit over Cas, and the fracture of Team Free Will, not the bro bond and how glorious and great it is that it’s just Sam and Dean vs the world. Dabb has already firmly established that Sam and Dean alone vs everything is not a desirable situation. Their connection with each other is, the constancy of it, while they need other people. Dean needs Cas and he’s as unhappy as Cas is about feeling this rift with him, they’re all mourning Jack. That’s all right there in the ep, written by Dabb.

Also think back to S5 “Free to Be You and Me” (written by Jeremy Carver). It’s the same thing, only now Dean is retreating from Cas to just SamnDean. In 5.03 he retreated from Sam to this new dynamic with the weird dorky angel who made Dean laugh in a way he hasn’t in a long time.

It was valid Dean and Cas early bonding, their friendship on its wobbly new colt legs. But if you think Dean really meant that Sam rejection of “especially without my brother. I mean, I spent so much time worrying about the son of a bitch. I mean, I've had more fun with you in the past twenty-four hours than I've had with Sam in years, and you're not that much fun. It's funny, you know, I've been so chained to my family, but now that I'm alone, hell, I'm happy” or actually believes in 15.01 that Sam is all he’s got and Cas who, oh boy I have a very pretty bridge in NYC to sell you. 

One of Dean’s coping mechanisms right there, at work again, only the relationships switched up. Sam and Dean and Cas have such long history. In S9, Sam and Cas bonded when Sam and Dean were having tensions.

I also don’t think Sam’s “just us” literally meant just Sam and Dean, it meant Sam, Dean, Cas, Team Free Will, all the hunters and allies they have, and humanity free of Chuck. 

Because the fandom is so factionalized, I think sometimes the bro bond gets hard line separated in fan views, or it winds up being forced into an either/or. It’s actually a lot easier, in my opinion, to see this as concentric circles, or Venn diagrams, Sam and Dean, the first ripple, with Cas, Destiel, TFW, Sam and Cas, the next ripple, which widens and includes other relationships, other characters.

[gallyg]

Doing the Whole 30 challenge in one post like it’s 2012 again

I like doing these in chunks and my wife is busy so this is what I will do to entertain myself.

1. Sam is so much better than Dean. Dean is a dickwad, and his character arc has never rang as true to me as Sam’s.

2. My favorite episode is hard to say, but I think it might be the season 14 finale. I don’t care what other fans say, God has always been a negligent monster in Supernatural, so I loved seeing Sam and Dean turn on him while also boldly evolving into metafiction that goes beyond comedy. Plus the Jack storyline is just heartbreaking.

3. Favorite season is probably like, 1 or 2, but atm I’m loving the Dabb era, so I’m tempted to just go ahead and say season 14 or 15. (13 was dreadful aside from Jack though)

4. Jack is the best character, SAM INCLUDED. He is the spark of heart this stale constipated shit of a show needed, and he finally forced the character dynamics to evolve somewhat for the first time in like half a decade. I love how innocent Jack is and how much trouble he has navigating the world when he’s the only creature like himself in the universe.

5. Rowena is the best female character. For a decade, it was Bela, but Rowena got the redemption arc Bela deserved. I don’t know if it’s because the fanbase has just matured past bullying every girl that gets near the Winchesters or what, but I’m glad they didn’t unceremoniously ditch Rowena like cowards.

6. All the actors do a fine enough job but Jim Beaver is clearly the one who treats it the most like a craft.

7. Are there good angels? They’ve been cannon fodder for so long, it’s hard to remember. I liked Gabriel a lot before he came back. I guess Balthazar is still a genuine treat and helps make season 6 the sloppy success that it is. I even think his death was well-earned and served the plot well, which is rare for this show. I just wish he was more of a weight on Castiel’s conscience after he’s murdered instead of being wholly forgotten until the season 13 AU.

8. Crowley ruined Supernatural for a long time. It’s hilarious that the premise of his character in season 5 was “what if a demon was genuinely helpful? why would they be?” and then they totally abandoned that idea for six years. His relationship with the Winchesters changed in a totally nonsensical way at the start of season 6, and he never really justified his place as King of Hell. It felt like he was just there to be a reason for them to fight demons for 10 years too many instead of coming up with new interesting plots.

9. Apocalypse World Michael is the only villain who I get and sympathize with. Of course he’d feel betrayed by God. Of course he’d take it out on humanity. He’s Lucifer but without the convoluted in-universe backstory that doesn’t gel with the lore you’re just supposed to assume.

10. The best Misha character is the Leviathan legion. Perfectly creates a tone of menace, sets up the conflict of the season, then explodes, which also kills Castiel and gave me a few blissful months where I thought we’d be free of the writers struggling to keep Castiel at a balanced power level without taking up too much storytelling economy (they finally got it eventually).

11. Best character intro is Castiel. Of course it is. If Supernatural ended at season 4 or 5 or even 6, we’d forever remember that intro as the moment the show fearlessly decided to become Epic.

12. Only episode of Supernatural that scared me was Hookman and just because I watched it in the dark at 3am when I was 15.

13. The best Bobby scene is, obviously, when he tearfully tells Sam that it was just the demon talking in season 5′s intro. He’s family, and he’s never cutting him out, not ever.

14. Ruby 1.0.  Katie Cassidy is a good actress who can actually make you doubt her motives and also believe she is a demon and not an actress on the set of a TV show. “You deserve hell, Dean Winchester! I wish I could be there to hear you scream!”

15. Yeah, I teared up at Swan Song.

16. Ruby is the only demon who has ever been interesting. Her appearance in the Empty kinda retconned some of her depth, but that can’t erase the great times we had, back in season 3 and 4.

17. The only ship that matters is Sam/Eileen because it’s the only couple that has genuine empathy for each other that isn’t drowning in bullshit emotional repression that got old ten years ago.

18. I love Amy Pond! This might contribute to why I don’t like Dean much, even if he was never my favorite anyway.

19. No comment.

20. Remember when Jack when to his grandma’s house looking for emotional support because he was in unprecedented distress and all he got was yelled at? Fucking christ, Jack’s whole season 14 arc fucked me up.

21. No comment. 

22. There’s some small thing I like in every season, but the whole Jeremy Carver era was dreadful and actually made me stop watching until I heard about Jack and thought he sounded like a cool character (he is)

23. 

24. I actually like the Ghostfacers webisode a lot

25. Hot take as a classic SPN fan, but season 15′s premier was astounding. You can sense the whole time as they’re dealing with the ghost apocalypse that it can’t be this easy. They’re fooling themselves if they think God will let them off with one last simple case with just one more sacrifice, because the audience wouldn’t ever be satisfied with that. We want more sacrifice, more suffering for these characters. Every issue solved before the end is promise of more nightmares. There will be peace when you are done. Not a god damn second before.

26. Nobody is as good as Jack, none of them need to come back. 

...

...

Just kidding, bring back Lisa, or Ben, preferably both, but if I must pick one, then it’s Ben. That’s Dean’s kid, even if not biologically. Dean needs to grapple with what he did, abandoning him.

27. “I used to be a psychic. I’m not anymore, at least I don’t think.” BRING BACK SAM’S POWERS HE SHOULD STILL HAVE AT LEAST SOME FROM THE DEMON BLOOD HE DRANK IN SEASON 5. 

28. “Bitch.” *eyes widen in horror as he realizes he just called a teenage girl a bitch, context be damned*

29. I do not care about Meg.

30. The best season finale is 5 or 14. It all depends on how season 15 finishes. Which finale will be sullied worse in hindsight?

[lets-steal-an-archive]

TVLine Fall TV Spoilers, retrospective edition (s8-s15)

Fall TV Spoiler Spectacular: Exclusive Scoop and Photos on 47 Returning Favorites! [September 06, 2012]

PREVIOUSLY ON… | After taking out Leviathan boss Dick Roman, Dean and Cas disappeared to a monster-filled purgatory while Sam was left on his own back on Earth. Ghost Bobby finally moved on to the other side.

COMING UP NEXT | Dean and Sam will reunite in the season premiere, but lots will have changed while they were separated. For one, after a “not very cute meet” with Amelia (recurring guest star Liane Balaban), Sam struck up a romance with the damaged woman during the Winchesters’ hiatus from each other, previews new showrunner Jeremy Carver. Dean’s side of the story will be told in flashbacks, which will answer the mystery of why Castiel vanished and how the elder brother got out of purgatory. Hint: He’s now indebted to the vamp Benny, “who is a super cool, super complex character who is a force to be reckoned with unto himself,” says Carver. “That is something that applies above ground and below ground.”

TVLINE BONUS SPOILER | Prepare for a major new recurring character in Naomi, who’s all business – complete with a serious pulled back hairdo – and very private. But underneath that no-nonsense suit exterior, she’s not quite so together.

Fall TV Spoiler Spectacular: Exclusive Scoop and Photos on 45 Returning Favorites! [September 03, 2013]

PREVIOUSLY ON… | Metatron expelled all the angels from Heaven and turned Castiel into a human. Sam continued his efforts to close the gates of Hell by curing Crowley, but Dean discovered that completing the trials would kill him, and begged his brother not to go through with it. Unfortunately, Sammy didn’t know how to stop what he started and collapsed in agony.

COMING UP NEXT | No surprise here: Sam survives. But why he does is a secret that the elder Winchester will hold on to — and one which may cause a rift between the brothers. “You’re going to find Dean, in the beginning of this season, in a slightly different position, one where it’s his decision driving great importance and weight on their relationship,” previews executive producer Jeremy Carver. “It’s a heavy weight to bear, and it has a great effect on their relationship.” There’s also angel mayhem on Earth for the brothers to contend with, including “a lot of players for the throne of who’s going to rise to the fore here,” including Battlestar Galactica alum Tahmoh Penikett’s injured warrior angel. Cas, meanwhile, is adjusting to life as a human by “eating, defecating and fornicating,” deadpans his portrayer Misha Collins. On the more quirky side, Felicia Day’s Charlie returns in Episode 4, which goes back in time to reveal “the first Men of Letters ever to occupy the bunker,” teases Carver. So what were they up to? You know, the usual — like “learning the truth behind the events that lead to The Wizard of Oz books. It’s a lot of fun and heartfelt.”

TVLINE BONUS SPOILER | Penikett’s Ezekiel isn’t the only heavenly creature we’ll be meeting. “We’re really delving into the individual characters here, and we found really interesting, really neat angels,” says Carver. “Wherever we can dive into Biblical references, we do and then we turn that the way that we need. Some of the angels that we see…have deep roots in angel mythology.”

Fall TV Spoilers 2014: Exclusive Scoops On 42 Season Premieres [September 02, 2014]

As a newly turned supernatural creature, Dean will have to decide “how dark and what kind of demon he’s going to be,” executive producer Jeremy Carver previews. So what’s the verdict? Per star Jensen Ackles, “[He’s] an ultra version of a womanizing party animal.” Considering how wild and fun his new life is – he even becomes too much for Crowley to handle! – it’s no wonder then that Dean doesn’t want to be found. But Sam, unaware of what’s happened to his brother, will try his darnedest, leading the younger Winchester “to do some questionable things that will make him, and certainly the audience, wonder which one of these guys is the true monster,” Carver notes. Meanwhile, Castiel is back on Earth and struggling with the moral dilemma of how to get his angelic grace back without being a burden.

BONUS SPOILER | Cas will be the harsh “voice of reason” when it comes to Dean’s situation, says Ackles. “Even though it might be hard to hear, it might be hard to say, he tells Sam, ‘Listen, you know what you have to do if things don’t go right.’”

Fall TV Spoilers 2015: Exclusive Scoop On 44 Season Premieres [September 08, 2015]

The Winchesters will need all the help they can get battling The Darkness, which brings us to Season 11’s theme: “You can’t outrun your past.” Dean and Sam “have to make some unexpected and unholy alliances involving folks from their past, which will have personal ramifications,” exec producer Jeremy Carver reveals. Will any of said people be fan faves who died? “We’re talking about a fight that is going to incorporate the likes of Heaven and Hell and those on Earth. So there’s certainly opportunity to see folks that have departed,” the EP replies. Perhaps one of them can provide some answers, because “there’s a lot of mystery to not only what or who The Darkness is” – maybe it’s a she? – “but what The Darkness wants,” Carver says. And while Castiel will be working alongside the brothers, he first needs to “find a way out of this spell that Rowena has cast.”

BONUS SPOILER!: Praise be! “We’re going to see more of a vintage Crowley in terms of scheming, less caring about Dean and Sam,” Carver shares.)

Fall TV Spoilers 2016: Exclusive Scoop On 42 Season Premieres [September 07, 2016]

“Dean, Mary and Cas are on the ‘Save Sam train,’ and that really drives them for the first three episodes,” executive producer Andrew Dabb previews. Once reunited, the Winchesters find themselves “pulled in two different directions” thanks to the dual threat of the British Men of Letters and Lucifer, who has taken on the vessel of a down-on-his-luck rock star (Rick Springfield). Everyone wants a piece of the fallen angel, including Crowley, who is looking to reclaim Hell and get payback for being humiliated. Lady Toni’s brethren, however, may turn out to be occasional allies in addition to stirring up trouble. “Sometimes, Sam and Dean will be working with them. Sometimes, they’ll be working against them,” Dabb hints. Meanwhile, the miraculous return of Mama Winchester has the brothers feeling “happy and conflicted” as she adjusts to a world that includes modern technology and angels. Speaking of heavenly creatures: Season 12 will spin “more personal” Cas stories and dig into his past a bit.

BONUS SPOILER!: “We’re putting the focus more on the world of hunters, so some of our past fan favorite hunters will, hopefully, swing through the show,” Dabb teases.

Fall TV Spoilers 2017: Scoop on 35+ Returning Favorites [September 07, 2017]

Cutting to the chase, “death is not the end for Castiel,” executive producer Andrew Dabb reports. “That being said, when we pick up our season he’s more dead than people usually get on our show. Castiel has a big role to play for us, but that may not be as soon as some people are hoping.” Meanwhile, the Winchester brothers, Dean especially, are reeling from the double whammy of losing their friend and their mom Mary. “There’s no one they can call,” Dabb notes, “so our guys are a bit on their own, a little spun out, both emotionally and in terms of the plot.” On top of that, they’re “acting as parents” to Lucifer’s “walking atomic bomb” offspring. “There are parts of him and things he does that they really love,” Dabb shares, “and there are parts of him and things he does that worry them a bit.” In the alt apocalypse world, Mary’s attempt to run away from Lucifer doesn’t go as well as she had hoped, while the fallen archangel finds that he “may not be the most powerful” creature over there.

BONUS SPOILER!: “Even if it’s not played by an actor that we recognize, there are certain characters that are going to come back in different bodies,” Dabb hints.

Fall TV Spoilers 2018: Scoop on 40 Returning Favorites [September 05, 2018]

Michael still wants to purify the world, but now that he’s loose on our earth — in Dean’s body, no less! — “his method is going to change,” executive producer Andrew Dabb previews. Back at the bunker, little bro Sam and heavenly pal Castiel are “extremely driven to find Dean,” with the latter even seeking help from “certain people, possibly with black eyes, who he would not normally contact.” Despite their efforts, “Sam, ultimately, and even Cas, to a degree, are a little pessimistic,” the EP says. “They’re not sure if it’s going to work out.” The Winchesters’ mom, Mary, however, “is optimistic, but sometimes that optimism can be very annoying.” Meanwhile, powerless Jack is back to hunter basics, “learning how to throw a punch [and] decapitate a vampire,” with the help of Bobby. Up in Heaven, Naomi and the few remaining angels are “trying to hold everything together.” As for the dark side, “we’re going to get a really good preview of what’s going on in Hell, actually, in the first episode,” Dabb teases.

BONUS SPOILER!: In Episode 4, “Sam and Dean and our whole crew get involved in our homage to ’80s slasher movies,” Dabb shares. “We’ve got some really cool gory stuff planned for that.”

Fall TV Preview 2019: Spoilers on 37 Returning Favorites [September 4 2019]

After finding out that God has been manipulating them, Dean and Sam are facing an “existential crisis” in the 15th and final season. “They’re realizing, ‘Well, we’re the Winchesters, but were we really doing this Chuck’s way?'” co-showrunner Andrew Dabb previews. “Part of reclaiming that agency is a big part of the season for them.” Plus, the brothers are “going to start to lose people who, in past seasons, we would’ve never lost — and lose them in a very real way. Our guys are going to realize there’s a certain finality, and some of the things they’ve relied on to get through the day — people, talents, things like that — they are no longer going to be able to roll out. And that’s going to throw them for a loop.” The show’s swan song will also welcome back some departed faces, including the Winchesters’ half-brother Adam (Jake Abel), God’s sister Amara (Emily Swallow) and deceased hunter Eileen (Shoshannah Stern).

BONUS SPOILER!: Jack is still in The Empty when Season 15 starts, and “he’s not coming back in the near future,” Dabb reveals. As for the deal Cas made to save Lucifer’s offspring, “when The Empty becomes more active, a lot of things are going to come to a head.”

[mittensmorgul]

Aah, one of the Great Unresolved Plot Arcs of s10, burned and abandoned by the roadside when Carver had to slam on the brakes and detour into a random blind alley to walk back most of what he set up in s10′s mytharc.

S10 has so many beautiful episodes, even AFTER the mytharc slash and burn at midseason, they just don’t work as one cohesive whole. And I will eternally despise this whole season because of it.

The most HILARIOUS bit about it is now, with the big reveal of Chuck’s overarching supervillainy in 14.20, we can look back at s10-- and the fallout from all of Metatron’s s8 and s9 machinations from the fracture of heaven and the angel fall event, bringing Abaddon back into the story after she’d already been defeated in 8.12, from the smashing of the angel tablet to Dean having taken the mark of cain in the first place, to demon Dean, to slaughtering of Cain first and then Death, and the unlocking of the Mark of Cain and freeing the Darkness... ALL of it can be chalked up as Chuck’s narrative failures. And Metatron was foil, the fall guy, this time around in Chuck’s Plot-Go-Round. He was Chuck’s scapegoat.

As a demon, Dean behaved exactly the way Chuck expected s15 Dean to behave. Chuck threw the pretty blonde victim in his path and expected Dean to play knight in shining armor and give in to the woman’s seduction. Maybe if Dean had been a demon, he wouldn’t have cared and would’ve taken advantage of a victim nearly half his age, like he did with Ann Marie in 10.01, but that is not who Dean is, no matter how much Chuck might want him to be that guy for the purposes of his story.

There’s so much in 10.01 about the intended development of Cas’s arc that never came to pass in s10, and it looks so horrifyingly similar thematically to Cas’s final confrontation with himself, his motives, his guilt, and his understanding of himself, humanity, and free will.

In 10.01:

HANNAH: And you, Castiel? You're feeling well? CASTIEL: Oh, yes. Like a million dollars. HANNAH: That's not true. CASTIEL: It's my truth. HANNAH: When you left heaven, your borrowed Grace was failing. By the looks of you, you've only gotten worse. CASTIEL: I'm fine. HANNAH: You're dying, Castiel. You need more Grace. CASTIEL: And we have a mission in front of us that supersedes my needs -- all of our needs. Don't you agree? You're a good soldier, Hannah... And one of the best. Metatron certainly could not have been brought to heel without your bravery. HANNAH: Or yours. You must take care of yourself, Castiel. CASTIEL [lashing out]: And another angel should die so that I can be saved?! Is this really that hard to understand?

For comparison’s sake, we saw Lucifer-- aka the villain-- do this with impunity in s13, not caring about what he destroyed in his quest for personal restoration to his former glory. But Cas had to be force-fed grace by Crowley in 10.03 to keep the plot from folding in on itself, to keep Cas from “burning out.” Because Cas wouldn’t sacrifice anyone else in his place. Everything else in his life was structured around “the mission,” and his duty to fix what he blames himself from having broken. Early s10 shows his completely divided loyalty-- between saving Heaven and the Angels as penance from having played a role in the devastation that’s brought it to this point, and his duty to the Winchesters and his mission to save Dean at all costs. First, the angels:

HANNAH: Perhaps it is you who has failed to get the message? All of us serve at heaven's command. DANIEL: I suppose. But that was before the fall, wasn't it? HANNAH: You are an angel, once and forever. DANIEL: Dropped unwillingly...Unknowingly...Into a strange land, a land that, as it turns out, celebrates the free, the individual. For the first time in thousands of years, I have choices. And with each choice... I begin to discover who I really am. HANNAH: This is nonsense. DANIEL: Because they don't teach you this in heaven? Perhaps they should. Then you would understand why it's worth fighting for.

Cas is... torn. He’s both sides of this conversation. He wishes he could just abandon heaven the way Daniel and Adina tried, but that sense of duty bound him to “do the right thing,” and “follow orders” and do what he could to remedy his own past mistakes. He willingly sacrifices his own happiness and choices thinking that in doing so at least he can correct some of his mistakes and restore a measure of peace to the Winchesters. And... the system was always rigged against him.

In s15, this fundamental lack of understanding (which we will gain in s13 during Dean’s period of grief over Cas’s death) of his importance to Dean’s ongoing peace and happiness, viewing himself as a disposable tool for achieving what he believes is his “mission,” his reason he was resurrected from the Empty, becomes explicit in 15.02. It plays out in his mission to save Dean in 10.03, and then immediately returning to his Heaven Mission with Hannah the moment he believes Dean doesn’t need him anymore. It leaves Dean feeling like he’s nothing but a burden to Cas, a distraction from his “more important” duties, like Dean has no right to put a further emotional burden on Cas by asking him to just STAY, by forcing his apparently unrequited feelings on Cas. This is now the sole issue standing between them. It’s a complicated tangle of years of failures to communicate their actual wants and needs outside of their respective cosmically-enforced duties. 

SAM [walking down a rural road]: You need to get to Beulah, North Dakota -- now. CASTIEL: I do? SAM: Yes. Crowley and Dean were there. We got to pick up their trail. CASTIEL: Good. Great. SAM: Yeah, um...not so much. Cas...Dean's a demon. CASTIEL: Dean's a demon? How? SAM: The Mark --I-I guess it --it just messed him up. I don't know. CASTIEL: That is a vast understatement. SAM: Right. Now, Cas, listen. I know you're not feeling so hot, but this is kind of an “all hands on deck” situation here, so... CASTIEL: So... I'll meet you there.

The horror of it all, Cas is needed to help save Dean, and yet he’s practically human-- sleeping, weak and unable to even heal himself, and back then he had Hannah bargaining with Metatron to restore his grace. And in 15.02, Dean just wanted Cas to side with HIM for once. But:

CASTIEL: You're angry. DEAN: Yes, I am angry. At everything. All of it. CASTIEL: All of it? DEAN: This mess... all the messes. It turns out that we're just hamsters running in a wheel our whole lives. What do we have to show for it, huh? Tell me you don't feel conned. God's been lying to you, Cas, forever. You bought into the biggest scam in history. CASTIEL: You don't think I'm angry? After what Chuck did? After what he took from me? He killed Jack. But that doesn't mean it was all a lie. DEAN: Really? Chuck is all-knowing. He knew the truth, he... he just kept it to himself. Well, now that his cover's blown, everything that we've done is for what? Nothing?

to Dean, it appears as if Cas’s anger is entirely and only about Chuck having taken Jack from him. Dean doesn’t understand what Jack symbolized to Cas. This is EXACTLY what Zerbe was saying the other day in this post:

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/189063380030/wait-dead-lover-as-in-either-cas-or-dean-is

lol just go read that instead so I can spare myself having to type anymore today. 

[pizzarollpatrol]

Fic Rec List #2 10/28/18

If any of the links don’t work, please let me know!. Just wanted to say thank you to all the authors on this list. You and all the effort you put into your fics are very much appreciated 💖

Kiss of Life by @sincerelymlg

Summary: Bucky and the reader go on a mission that quickly takes a turn for the worst. 

Flustered by @notimetoblog

Summary: It’s easy to see when Bucky is flustered. His mannerisms are beyond adorable but they might be hiding something more. --- I’m such a hoe for soft!bucky. I loved this fic, its so sweet and endearing.

Quick Stories by @notimetoblog  

Summary: Waking up early with Bucky is not always so bad. Bucky x reader.

Marry Me by @buckymorelikefuckmebarnes

Summary: Wedding day. (thats a shitty summary im so sorry) --- You thought this fics was shit but HA you are so wrong because it broke me :) Bucky x Reader

Death Do Us Part by @sgtjbuccky

Summary: For centuries, the God of Death had known two things about mortals. One, they were his job, his to collect when their days came to an end, and two, they were obnoxiously odd beings. Their purpose ceased to make sense to him. Never did he understand thy they created a life for themselves, why they loved, why they love other morals when they knew none of it would last forever. It was nothing but sheer stupidity, but that was until he met you. A mortal unlike any other. A mortal that would make him question everything. A mortal that would teach the God of Death how to live. God of Death!Bucky x Mortal!Reader. Ongoing series --- Wow. Where do I even begin? I absolutely love this series, its so different from others that I’ve read. I loved every chapter. 

A Supernatural Marvel by @angelkurenai

Summary: Imagine being transported in the Supernatural universe, with no memory of your life, where you become a hunter and fall in love with Dean. Only for a very important person from your past to come looking for you and change it all. Dean Winchester x Reader, Steve Rodgers x Reader. Ongoing series. --- This is one of my current favorite series!! You really know how to keep us on our toes, I love it!!

Take Me Higher by @buckychrist

Summary: Who knew that the way into the big broody super soldier’s heart was through his unmet need for a good cuddle? Bucky x Reader. --- If a fic has a cuddly bucky, sign me the fuck up. I loved this, its so sweet.

Educating Bucky by @buckfics

Virgin 1930′s Bucky x Reader. Smut. --- Holy fuck. This has got to be my absolute favorite smut I’ve literally ever read. I get so happy when it pops up on my dash again. There isn't a damn thing I dont love about this fic. Its so sweet and believable and I just cant stop myself from reading it.

Sincerely, Me by @buckitybarnes

Summary: Bucky Barnes is a quiet fellow when it comes to socializing with you. After one mishap, however, he finds a way to communicate his feelings without speaking so much. You’ve soon come to learn not every relationship has to be verbal to be important. Bucky x Reader. Completed series.

A Week in Boston by @blacktithe7 

Summary: It was your first vacation in years. Just one week all by yourself in the big city of Boston. No rules. No expectations. Just a list of places to go and things you wanted to see. That all changed the you run into a certain blue-eyed Boston boy who turned your world upside down. Is it really possible to fall in love with someone in just one week? Or is that kind of love just a fairytale? Chris Evens x Reader. Ongoing series. 

Stubborn Love by @barnesrogersvstheworld

Prompt: You cant live your life based on “what-ifs”. Steve Roders x Reader. --- This was so intense, I loved every word.

Date Night by @jaamesbbarnes

Summary: Heavily pregnant but very tired, you still insist to go out for your usual date night with your boyfriend. Chris Beck x Reader. --- This is one of the sweetest fics I ever read. I’ve never heard of “stardust” being used as a pet name and I swear my heart exploded when I read it.

Body Guard by @oliverwxod

Summary: Tony Stark is a very rich man and with that came a lot of enemies. After a tragic event Tony decides himself and the people most important to him, especially his daughter, are in danger. He hires personal body guards. Bucky Barnes is assigned to Y/n Stark, the most troublesome, reckless Stark that there is. Bucky x Reader. Body guard!AU. Ongoing series.--- Absolutely loved this series! So many twists and turns!

40 Days by @abaddonwithyall

Summary: Dean and you are already in an established relationship when he tempts you to give up orgasms for Lent. The only catch? Anyone and Everyone is open to trying to get you off. Let the games begin. Dean x Reader. Eventual Sam x reader, Castiel x reader, Gabriel x reader, Crowley x reader, Charlie x reader, Bela x reader, John x reader, Gadreel x reader, Lucifer x reader, Rowena x reader, Benny x reader, Jo x reader etc. Smut. Uncompleted series. (its from 2016, only the last two parts are missing but its all good) --- This is pure filth and its amazing.

Starved by @theonewiththefanfics

Summary: The Reader is a touchy-feely kind of a person and when she joins the Avengers nothing changes. Apart from the fact that Bucky Barnes is so touch starved, he craves for the soft feel of her skin against his and is over the moon when she treats him the same way she treats everybody else. Yet now day she simply stops, and he doesn't know why. Bucky x reader. Smut

You Aren't My Father by @winchesters-favorite-girl

Summary: When Sam shuts the gates of hell, Dean promised that he would take care of Sam’s little girl. However, things didn't go the way anybody suspected. After Dean settles into his apple pie life, he drifts away from his niece, who decided to take her future into her own hands. Uncle!Dean x Niece!Reader. Angst. Completed series. --- Holy crap. This is one of the best fics I've read, I read this series a long, long time ago and I’m still thinking about it.

My Turn by @sis-tafics

Summary: You and Dean are blowing off some steam. Dean x reader. Smut.

Afraid of the Flame by @thosekidswhohuntmonsters

Summary: Bucky learns from a surprising friend that you shouldn't live a life of things unsaid. Bucky x reader. 

It’s My Favorite Movie by @notnaturalanahi

Summary: Classice movie challenge. Movie prompt: “Are you not entertained?” Gladiator - 2000. Sam Winchester x reader. Smut

The Pumpkin Carver by @softlybarnes

Summary: Bucky and Y/N prepare for Halloween, when Bucky realizes something. Bucky x reader. --- I love The Florist and The Beekeeper so much, I was so happy to see you wrote another part. I loved it.

Watching by @mrsjohnsmith

Summary: Dean likes to watch. Sam x reader x Voyeur!Dean. Smut

Stepping Sideways by @siren-kitten-his

Summary: She steps sideways between worlds just watching those that live there...until Jefferson catches her eye. Jefferson (OUAT) x Fae!OC Mae. Smut. --- This is the first ever Jefferson fic I’ve read and i loved it!!

Ride by @wayward-and-worn

Summary: Sam and Y/N are in an established relationship. The milestones that had to cross to get this far go without saying. She's never been on top. Sam Winchester x Plus!Reader. Smut

All that Glitters by @moonbeambucky

Summary: Natasha found a sneaky way to get you to reveal your secret relationship. Bucky x reader. Smut. --- I LOVED this, its so clever and hilarious.

The Unimaginable by @moonbeambucky

Summary: As Bucky’s wife and mother of his child, you always worried for him when he was on a mission. This last mission will change your life forever. Bucky x reader. Angst. --- When i read the summary, I thought I had an idea about what was going to happen but it was so much worse. There were so many tears.

My Love, by @emilyevanston

Summary: Steve writes you a letter every time he goes on a mission. They usually arrive after he gets back. Steve x reader.

The Fiancé by @mycapt-ohcapt

Summary: Life takes an unexpected twist when you and Steve Rogers have to pretend to be engaged to cover up your little white lie. Steve x reader. Fake dating!AU. Completed mini series.

I Can’t Swim by @revengingbarnes

Summary: The reader pretends to drown to grab the attention of the hot lifeguard who looks after the beach. Lies don’t last long though, and eventually it backfires. Lifeguard!Bucky x reader. --- I LOVED this, its so cute and sweet. I had this goofy ass smile on my face the whole time I read it.

Sound by @bucky-barfs

Summary: You and Steve have been pining after each other for a while. Both to afraid to make a more, that is until you're stuck in a limo in heavy traffic. Steve x reader. Smut.

Crowded Places by @papi-chulo-bucky

Summary: You have a hard time warming up to Bucky, who constantly rejects you. But one day after his Winter Soldier mode is triggered, it seems there’s more to his brooding and stand off demeanor than he let’s on. Bucky x Reader/Winter Soldier x reader. --- I loved this!!! I’ve never read one like this and it turned out so sweet and weirdly endearing.

Memories and Music by @bitsandbobsandstuff

Summary: When you follow the sound of beautiful music, you find Bucky Barnes in front of the piano, and wonder if your heart might break just a little. Bucky x reader.

Three Shades of a Man by @bitsandbobsandstuff

Summary: It was different every time, what Bucky needed from you to survive himself. It was in these moments you saw the shades behind the mask he work in front of the world. Bucky x reader. Smut. Completed mini series. --- The first chapter was so intense and such a difference compared to chapel three, which I absolutely loved. It was so sweet and relieving to see their relationship like that after reading the first two chapters. I loved it.

Trepidation by @cumonbucky

Summary: Everything your world was right until Bucky’s ex girlfriend came along. Bucky x reader. Completed mini series. --- This was so good, I just had to add it to the list so we can all share a mutual annoyance at how stupid Bucky was in this fic. Like is he really that clueless or is he just that stupid??? Homegirl should of had a smack down with Dot but either way I absolutely loved this fic!

[coffee-obsessed-writer]

The Pact - Chapter 3

Sam Winchester, Gothic AU

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

A/N: This idea was a long time coming. My first true AU, so please be gentle. This will be a slow burn, multi-chapter fic. 

Summary: Lord Samuel Winchester has lost the love of his life due to the actions of the Demon King, Crowley. As he plots secret revenge, his father, the King of Lawrence, decrees that Sam will wed Crowley’s daughter in order to unite the two families to protect the sacred ground the Winchester’s Kingdom is built upon.

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Crowley’s Daughter!Reader

Other Players: John Winchester, Crowley, Rowena, Dean Winchester (mentioned), Bobby Singer, Jessica Moore (deceased)

Warnings: mild language

Words: 5.3K

Everything Tags:

@sorenmarie87 //  @lefthologramdeer // @rockyhorrorpictureshowstyle // @his-paradox // @letsby

Supernatural Tags:

@wings-of-a-raven // @kazosa // @negans-wife // @grace-for-sale // @geeksareunique // @tiquismiquis // @mrsbarnes-rogers  // @teller258316 // @spnhollis // @sweet-things-4-life // @hobby27 // @sweetlythoughtfulbird // @theoriginalvicki // @dreamchester67 // @xxwarhawk // @babykalika2001 // @superwhovianfangirl81 // @toobusynerdfighting // @missihart23  // @crowleysreigningqueenofhell // @idreamofplaid // @thewinchesterchronicles  // @wayward-gypsy  // @closetspngirl // @fatestemptress // @rebelminxy  // @22sarah08 // @witch-of-letters // @cole-winchester // @rainflowermoon // @adoptdontshoppets // @foreverwayward // @waywardvalkyrie // @fandomoniumflurry // @gnrfanfic // @blackcherrywhiskey // @jessieray98  // @lyoly  // @a–1–1–3 // @31shadesofbrown // @whereismyangel-damnitdeanshare // @screechingartisancashbailiff

(I don’t normally tag series, but since this is an AU, I will tag specifically for this one if you don’t want to be on my SPN list. Let me know if you want to hop on any of my tag lists.)

The Pact Tags: @theplaid-wearingmoose // @zombiewerewolfqueen // @silkiechicken // @collette04 // @flamencodiva // @katiecurls75 // @death-unbecomes-you // @colie87 // @roxytheimmortal // @klanceiscannon14 // 

A glimmer of light reflected from her dress, capturing his attention again. Though relatively short, Samuel kept drifting in and out of the ceremony as his mind wandered through a battlefield of questions and emotions.

So much about what was happening felt wrong; yet somewhere inside, he knew it wasn’t. Each passing moment, he felt the Oracle’s words burning an imprint in his brain.

“…behind the feathers, the dark, iridescent feathers, lies the match to your unburnt flame. She’ll be of great comfort to you when your grief folds you over and renders you useless…”

The meaning wasn’t quite clear to him yet, but it meant something. Whether it was that (Y/N) MacLeod was crucial to his plan against Crowley, or to his own demise, it wasn’t certain. Either way though, the nightmarish feeling of misery he lived with in his heart would be over. He’d have his revenge on Crowley, or he would be dead and in Heaven with his beloved.

Bobby continued with the promise and vows, not bothering to savor the moments as he did with any other previous ceremony. All parties involved were clearly anxious for it to be over, Samuel included. Once it was done, he could at least leave the shared space with Crowley and begin planning exactly how he would use his new wife to his advantage.

Samuel dared to look down at her then. Though the sheen of her gown was captivating, he purposely kept his eyes cast down at his hands, shoes, cane… anywhere that her curious gaze was not. He drew in a deep breath and being this close to her was able to pick up the scent of lilacs and juniper. Bobby’s words faded into the background as Samuel finally caught her gaze.

(Y/N) lifted her face up at the exact moment Sam looked down. It was also the same moment, Bobby asked them to join hands. He reluctantly held out his hand not using the cane for her to place her hand in. When she did, he was surprised to feel just how delicate her hands were. Her skin silky and warm, and her fingers held steady against his slightly trembling ones.

In stark contrast, her expression was steely and determined. She continued to meet his gaze, holding her head regally while pursing her full lips into knowing smirk. Sam couldn’t help but wonder what thoughts had set her face that way, then decided that he didn’t care. It didn’t matter because he refused to take the time to know her. She wouldn’t be alive long enough.

From within his cloak, Bobby removed the burlap chord that would be warded and tied to bound Sam’s and (Y/N)’s wrists, a symbol of their union as man and wife. That chord would be loosely tied and worn until the wedded couple reached their marriage bed to consummate the coupling. Samuel’s heart began to pound when the Maester wove it across both their wrists, securing it with an Enochian blessing.

Out of the corner of his eye, Sam noticed Crowley flinch at the prayer. His smug face fell away, and his jaw clenched, along with his hands. He seemed unsteady on his feet for just a moment; but enough of one for Sam to take note of. When the prayer was finished, Crowley steadied himself and straightened his shoulders.

“Can we get on with this, please?” the demon asked with a raise brow. “Some of us have other places to be.”

Bobby flashed him a look of disdain and continued with the ceremony. As he read the final passage from the Old Carver Testament, he raised both hands, placing one on each of their shoulders.

“Samuel, (Y/N), with this last gesture, I ask you to share your first kiss before the witnesses present, confirming your vows to be man and wife.”

A streak of panic washed over Sam’s face. His mouth went suddenly dry as his jaw clenched just like Crowley’s did a moment before. He looked back to (Y/N), who’s expression hadn’t altered one bit from the cool and unrattled exterior she presented before.

Sam took a step towards her, her hand still lightly held in his and leaned in. The closer he got, the more he could smell the lavender of her soap. Sam brushed his lips to the corner of her mouth, allowing only the briefest moment of contact. It wasn’t horrible, but he was glad to see she recoiled from it just as quickly as he did. It was enough, however, to satisfy the onlookers.

Bobby held both his hands out, palms up and directed his voice towards the entire room. “Forever here, joined in this place, may your lives together be long, happy, prosperous and in service to each other.”

With their wrists still bound, and no celebration to contend with, Samuel led (Y/N) from the catacombs and back up the stone stairwell. Slowly they ascended to the main floor of the castle, and that’s when he finally was able to speak to her freely.

“So, what now?” he asked.

“I supposed you’re suppose to get me pregnant,” she replied calmly, with a slight shrug of her shoulders. “Or, if you aren’t quite ready for that, we can say our goodnights and revisit this… problem, in the morning.”

Sam snickered. “Problem?”

“Yes, the issue of you can’t stand the sight of me, and I’m quite sure I’m meant to die in these walls.”

Her frankness caused him to choke and begin to cough. “What… what would ever give you that idea?” He tried to sound surprised, which he was, but not for the reasons she probably guessed.

(Y/N) smiled and rolled her eyes, but not in an annoyed sort of way. “Oh, you are a naïve one, aren’t you,” she tutted. “I’m a MacLeod, and you’re a Winchester. We are born to be mortal enemies, are we not?”

Sam shrugged, “I suppose.”

“So, what reason could our fathers have for putting this together other than to begin the War to end all Wars?”

“I don’t know, maybe they’ve honestly decided to let things go?” he lied. He knew the reason, and also realized that she probably did, too. (Y/N) wasn’t some stupid, naïve woman. Sheltered or not, he could tell just by the twinkle in her eyes that she knew far more than she was letting on. “Either way, I don’t think tonight is the time to figure it out.”

“No, I guess not,” she said, and for the first time, Samuel thought she actually looked nervous. “What are we to do about this?” She lifted her wrist that was bound to his.

“We go up to my chambers, untie it and figure out which side of the bed you want to sleep on. If we don’t make it look real… at least for tonight…”

“Better than getting lectured I suppose,” she relented. “Well, husband, lead the way.”

  Up in Samuel’s chambers, the space was kept warm by a fire burning lowly in the hearth, but you still felt a chilly reception upon entering. You saw your trunks had been moved in there and Sam happened to see them just as you did. Being so close, with your wrists still bound, it was hard to miss his body flinch at the realization that he would REALLY be sharing his room with someone else. Someone, he never wanted.

You kept your cool about you, just as you had for most of the evening thus far. Instead of concentrating on how much Samuel despised you, you decided to take in every detail that you could.

In the center of the room, was a large, wood-carved, four-post bed adorned with a deep blue canopy with gold accents. The woven blanket that covered it was made of the same colors. Two high back chairs graced either side of the large window that overlooked all of Lawrence.

The far wall, starting from the edge of the window, was lined with book shelves and full, to overflowing, with hundreds of books.

“Like to read?” you asked casually, trying to lessen the awkwardness that was rapidly growing.

“Yes,” he said simply and quickly removed the binding from your wrist.

Sam moved to throw it into the fire, but you placed your hand over his to stop him.

“I wouldn’t. You know they’ll ask for it. It supposed to follow our lives and children, remember?”

He grunted in agreement and haphazardly tossed it onto a small trunk that lived near the bed. Samuel sighed then and limped his way towards the bed. When it gave under his weight, he sighed again, but this time with the relief of being off his feet.

“Does that give you much trouble?” you asked and nodded towards his hip.

Again, he just glared at you and nodded. “Some.”

From the moment you had entered the catacomb chapel, and promised to be his wife, Samuel had done little to show you he was on board with the arrangement, other than not object to it. He had been cold and aloof, and while you didn’t expect him to lay out a red carpet for you, you had hoped he would at least be curious enough to ask you a few questions, or maybe even, engage you in conversation.

“Is there anything you’d like to know about me? Anything that may make this all a little less uncomfortable?”

“Uncomfortable?” Sam questioned, rising again to his feet and turning to face you. “You think this is uncomfortable? This is Hell, M’Lady. What our fathers have arranged here is my Hell on Earth.” His tone was nearly conversational, even chuckling after what he had just said. A gesture that made your blood start to boil and your spine straighten.

He took a few steps closer, his shadow engulfing you. “I don’t know what you imagined this arrangement actually becoming. I, however, do not plan to take this any further than what we already have. Save the binding or burn it, I couldn’t care less.”

He turned on the heel of his boot and made his way towards the door. Without turning back around, Sam simply turned his head to leave you with one last remark.

“I’m going for a walk, do not wait up.”

With that, Lord Winchester allowed the oversized door close behind him, leaving you alone in the room, with only the crackle of the fireplace making any sound.

 No sleep came for you that night. Afraid the Winchesters would have someone stab you in your slumber, you sat up in the bed until light came in through the window. Finally, allowing your eyes to close, even if it was just for a minute, and a booming knock came at the chamber door. Bolting up from sleep you sprung from the bed, pulling your nightgown closed at the neck and wrapping one arm around your chest.

“Co—come in!” you called.

When the door opened, you imagined Samuel would be on the other side. So, when it was the King’s face you saw, you tried to composure yourself and not react the way your surprise wanted you too. Before he could notice you still in your nightgown, you grabbed the robe you’d laid out on the bed, put it on and quickly cinched it around you’re your waist.

“M’lady,” the King bowed. His eyes were dark, and his face wore a Cheshire cat smile, which did a lot to enhance the dimples buried in his salt and pepper beard.

“Your Majesty,” you said and returned the gesture. “To what do I own the honor?”

He didn’t answer right away. John Winchester clasped his hands behind his back and slowly walked through the room. He eyed the bed and saw that only one side had been utilized. His dark brown eyes flicked up towards you, and for a moment you weren’t sure if he was just going to get it done and slit your throat himself. Instead, a smile appeared, spanning the width of his face, and enacting crater-like dimples to form on his cheeks.

“Check in on you of course. Seeing if your first night in your new home was comfortable. You may be my son’s wife, but that makes you my daughter now, does it not?”

“Yes, I imagine it does,” you replied demurely, trying to maintain an ounce of respect.

“I see my son is up and gone, already. I hope he was kind to you, on your wedding night.”

He watched your reaction from the corner of his eye as he walked across the length of floor and towards the window that overlooked his Kingdom.

“He was a gentleman,” you said, not wanting to give more than necessary.

“Good. That pleases me. Though we are Winchesters, warriors and peacekeepers by rite, doesn’t mean we can carry on without couth and respect. I know Samuel struggles with the arrangement. As I imagine you do, as well. I know the circumstances aren’t ideal, but I want you to know, (Y/N), your willingness to step in and take part in it shows your dedication to the cause.”

“What cause is that, Your Majesty?”

“The protection of Lawrence, of course. You do realize just what it is we do here, don’t you? How imperative it is to maintain peace in the realm, and to keep these lands away from those who would seek to control or destroy them.”

“Like, my father for instance?” you dared to suggested.

John paused and looked at you curiously. You could tell he was examining you, trying to read the root of your intentions. You internally laughed at his attempt. One doesn’t live with Crowley for as long as you have and not learn the art of maintaining an impenetrable poker face.

“That was in the past,” he said, finally moving on. “I meant the battle that rages in Purgatory. That’s the true threat. If our forces cannot hold them off. Your father’s attempt at stealing what’s ours will pale in comparison to what those monsters will do.”

He turned to full on face you now. Though he continued to move slowly towards you, the way he carried himself told you that he was holding a lot back.

“Now, what matters, is keeping this alliance between us and your kin. An heir was promised; its what cemented the deal,” he began, his voice lowering with each word. “I didn’t expect it to happen in one night, but, if within a fortnight you aren’t with child, I will have you sent back to your father’s castle. But from now on he’ll house you in the dungeons with the rest of the traitorous filth.”

His voice went deeper with the last few words, causing a nervous reverberation to rattle through your body. Your limbs began to shake, not visible enough for John to see how much he’d shaken you, but enough for YOU to know. You instantly hated him for the threat and wondered off-hand how Samuel truly felt about his father. The only way you were going to get through this all alive, was to show him you were no one to be trifled with.

Standing taller and letting your arms fall to your sides, you cleared your throat and squared off with his gaze. “Clearly, I am not the problem here, in that regard… Your Majesty. I am here, in the chambers I was to share with my husband. He is the one who went for a late-night walk, not to return. So, if you want to have this conversation and try to intimidate anyone in this scenario, may I suggest you tracking him down and laying the threat of damnation upon his shoulders.”

You were able to maintain a calm tone, but internally there was an inferno of anger raging. The King seemed slightly amused at your reply and leaned back, casting his gaze down at you. Thankfully, it had softened a little and helped you to feel slightly less defensive.

“I mean no disrespect, I just don’t feel—”

“Its fine. You had every right to say that. You’re right, Samuel isn’t here, and he should be. I shall have a word with him.”

“I wish you wouldn’t. This is difficult for everyone. However, I would like to give him a day or two to adjust. Myself as well. I shall seek him out and ask for a tour of the castle and grounds. I understand your urgency for an heir, but if you want this to be successful, I ask you to give me that fortnight to make it work. Give your son time to comply. He’ll hate you less for it in the end.”

Waiting on pins and needles for John’s reply was torture enough. Finally, he nodded and cast a smile in your direction.

“You have the MacLeod knack for negotiating. Did your father ever tell you that?”

“No, sire. My father rarely speaks anything to me unless it’s a command of some kind.”

“I see. Shame on him then.”

A slight knock wrapped on the door, right before it creaked open, one of the Winchester guards came in, whispered something in the King’s ear and he nodded in response. John bowed slightly and upon standing straight, noticed for the first time you weren’t properly dressed. “I shall take my leave of you M’Lady. Be sure to get that tour. I think you’ll thoroughly enjoy the gardens. I don’t believe you have many places like those left around the cliff.”

“We do not.”

“Well, be sure to see them. We will speak again, soon.”

As the King took his leave, and the door shut behind you, you exhaled the breath you didn’t realize you had been holding. The relief that washed over you was enough to bowl you over. Sitting back down on the bed, you steadied your breath and closed your eyes.

There was work to be done, that was for certain. You would not be sent back to Crowley’s, nor would you be the King’s puppet to control his son. You would, however, try and get Samuel to cooperate just a little; even if that meant using the potion you had stored away in your gown to initiate that cooperation.

Reaching between your breasts, you pulled the small crystal vile from your cleavage and held it up eye level. Narrowing your eyes at the clear liquid, you smiled wanly. “Looks like you’re going to be useful, after all.”

  The gardens were in full bloom and bursting with color. Sam slowly strolled down the gravel path as he passed through the rows of lilies, roses and box hedges. He approached the archway that lead to the reflecting pool and eventually to the path into what the old Maesters labeled as the Elven Woods.

Sam had never ventured in there himself, but that was mostly because he had never been allowed to trifle with the magic that lived within Lawrence. Then, when he had met Jessica, she was enamored with them; asking dozens of questions and nearly begged Sam to take her there. He promised he would, as soon as the rains had passed. By then she was gone and now, it was just a place that he avoided.

Just before the arch, he found a stone bench and sat down to rest his hip. From the direction he just came, her heard footsteps shuffling along the same path of gravel. Bobby was approaching, his cloak loosely tied around his neck, his head down most likely deep in concentration.

Despite his melancholy, Sam smiled to himself at the sight of his old friend.

“Bobby!” he called, grabbing the man’s attention. “What brings you out here so early?”

At the sound of Sam’s voice, Bobby’s head snapped up in surprise. “Sam,” he started and quickly glanced around the path. “What are you doing out here? I figured you would be with your bride.”

“You thought wrong,” he shrugged and moved over on the bench offering Bobby a place to sit.

“So, what are you doin’ out here? Shouldn’t you be with her?”

“Don’t start with me, Bobby.”

“Let me guess, you’ve barely said two words to the girl since last night.”

“It was more than two… five at least.”

“Don’t sass me, boy.”

“I’m not, Bobby. I just don’t need to be with her every moment of the day,” Sam shrugged, and hoped that Bobby wouldn’t read too much into his overt aloofness.

“She should be out here with you at least. Keep up appearance. You know your daddy will expect you to treat her as your wife.”

“Yeah, well, he can’t control everything I do, now can he?”

“Samuel, you are walking a dangerous path. If you don’t do what’s expected—”

“And what is that, exactly? Produce an heir? Fine, but for God’s sake, I just met her. I need a minute to adjust and John will have to wait.” He couldn’t help the wrinkle of his nose and the distaste in his mouth that appeared when saying his father’s name. He loved the old man, but he sure as Hell didn’t like him in that moment.

“You listen here, Sam. That woman there, she’s your wife now. You agreed to his terms, and part of those terms is producing an heir. You don’t gotta like her, son, but you gotta find a way to get past your hatred of her father and make this work. Part of making it work, is you’re gonna have to spend time with her—”

“Bobby, please, just stop,” Sam pleaded, but the old man wouldn’t relent.

“I don’t know exactly what your daddy and that monster are cahootin’ over, thick as thieves they are. But, at least they ain’t fighting, and that’s just better for everyone. So, man up, be kind to her, treat her with respect, and maybe you’ll be pleasantly surprised at what you find there. Also, keep your eyes and ears open, boy. Those two are cookin’ something up, and I’d bet anything if you wanted the truth, the way to get it is to be nice to that wife of yours.”

A calculating smile rippled across the young Winchester’s face. “Why, Maester Singer, are you suggesting I use that girl to advance my own agenda?”

The corners of Bobby’s mouth turned down and he shrugged, as if to say, ‘Who knows?’

If Bobby knew that he already had a plan for his new wife, he probably would’ve knocked Sam out cold. But his plan wasn’t what stopped him from at least making small talk with her the night before. It was the feathers and what the Oracle had said.

Sam couldn’t shake the feeling that began to grow inside him; the one that started the moment the binding chord had joined their wrists. The feeling that gave him pause and wonder just who this woman was.

He figured keeping his distance as much as possible would have to get him through until he figured the best way to take care of her, permanently.

“I heard what Pamela said,” Bobby continued, as if reading Sam’s thoughts. “I’m not blind, either. I saw what the girl was wearing…”

Sam’s head snapped up, and before he could speak, he saw (Y/N) walking towards them. Bobby followed his line of sight and immediately turned to face her. Sam stood, using his cane for support and tried to paste a smile to his face before she reached them.

With each step she took that brought her closer, the more Sam felt the pace of his heart quicken. There was no denying her beauty, nor the regal way she carried herself down the gravel path. Rays of sulight peeking through the trees coupled with the pastel flowers that lined either side of the path, she appeared to have an ethereal glow surrounding her. She wore a deep blue gown, with a matching hooded wrap that flowed out behind her. The way the material rippled around her legs as she moved made her look even more otherworldly than before.

Samuel’s breath caught, but only for a moment. In it though, for the first time in nearly a year, the name Jessica wasn’t sitting heavily on his heart. In that moment, there was nothing but (Y/N) MacLeod.

  You saw them, your husband and the old Maester, talking in hushed tones at the end of the path. Deciding to carry on anyway, you slowed your gate and hoped you would be able to be a few steps away before they saw you. No such luck.

Both men spotted you quickly and were at attention by the time you reached them.

“M’Lord,” you said softly and offered a small curtsy to Samuel. Then turned to Maester Singer and did the same, “Maester.”

They both bowed their heads and smiled wanly in greeting.

“What brings you out here?” Samuel asked politely.

“It’s a gorgeous afternoon. As you well know, we don’t see the sun nearly this much over near the cliffs. Thought I’d take the opportunity to enjoy it.”

Bobby not so subtly cleared his throat and cast a look over towards Samuel, who seemed to ignore it. Biting his lip, Bobby spoke up for him.

“Sam, why don’t you escort (Y/N) here through the gardens, give her the grand tour. I’m sure she would love to see the roses, and maybe up to the entrance to the Elven Woods.”

Bobby turned and glared at Samuel, who simply paused, then stared back for a moment. You noticed an expression cross Lord Winchester’s face and made sure to tuck that away for later. It was strange to say the least, and something that just piqued your curiosity.

He eventually broke the stare and turned back to you. “Yes, a tour would be a great idea. Can I interest you in a proper walk about?” he asked, unaware you could tell he was placating the Maester.

“I’d love that,” you replied and took a brief glance down at his cane. “Are you feeling up to it?”

He gripped the top of it tightly enough for his knuckles to whiten. “Perfectly fine. Shall we?” Making a sweeping gesture with his arm, you nodded at the Maester and began to walk past him.

Samuel stopped at Bobby’s side, whispered something and left the old man with a lingering, stern expression. When he finally caught up to you, he held out his elbow for you to take, and escorted you through the gardens.

You walked for a while in silence, and every so often he would point to a certain flower or herb and give you its proper name and what it would benefit. From what Samuel told you, all the flowers and herbs that were planted were done with purpose. Maester Singer and his flock tended to them daily, painstakingly weeding the gardens, pinching off the herbs when ready, and making sure they received all the proper watering when the rains and storms didn’t decimate them.

“So, what are these Elven Woods Maester was speaking of?” you asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

“A place that I do not venture to,” he said flatly, his eyes forward and intent on the path ahead.

“Why not?”

“Because, I don’t.”

“There must be a reason,” you said, but he didn’t respond, just kept his eyes forward and his shoulder’s straight. “Or not…” you mumbled.

Deciding to change tactics, you chanced another question. “Did you spend a lot of time out here as a boy?”

You saw his expression flinch, then soften. He inhaled and when he responded with more than a grunt, you were a bit taken aback.

“No, not too much. Especially not after my mother died,” his said, his tone softer, more conversational. “She loved being out here. I was young when she died, but what I can remember was she loved the gardens. Her family had tended the lands for a long time, and she was incredibly knowledgeable in spell work, herbs, potions. My dad, however, is a soldier. Always was, always will be. Once she died, he pretty much took me and my brother under his wing, said to leave the plants to the Maesters, then tried to make us soldiers, too.”

You stayed quiet, hoping he would continue. Getting him to open like this meant getting to know him. If you could get to know him, maybe your chances of staying alive would improve. But Samuel stayed quiet, not offering anymore details to the conversation.

He turned you down another lane and paused halfway towards the end. His brow furrowed, but only briefly. Assuming he had simply been taken over by a passing thought, you didn’t nudge him to go on until he was ready.

When he turned to you then, he smiled large enough that both cheeks dimpled. You found him to be incredibly handsome, but also intrigued by whatever caused this shift.

“(Y/N), see that there?” he pointed down the lane to a small path that was covered in an archway of trees. “That’s the entrance to the Elven Woods. Its where so much of Lawrence’s magic stems from. I understand you have a knack for spellwork, at least that’s what my father told me. Rowena taught you, right?”

“She did. Some of it. Some I learned by trial and error.”

Sam laughed. It rang partially false to your ears, but you considered maybe he was just nervous. “Would you care to take a stroll through the woods?”

“What about you? Didn’t you just say you don’t go in there?”

“Well, yes. I won’t be able to go, the terrain… its too rough on my hip. But I highly encourage you to pass through the arches, at least. There are fields and fields of ferns and wildflowers, mushrooms, dandelion and even Devil’s Claw just growing everywhere.

Samuel was continuing to surprise you; first by answering a question with a personal story of his mother, and now with encouraging your interest in herbs and spell work. Your hackles were raised now more than ever.

“Alright, sure, I’ll take a quick look. Promise to wait for me?” you asked, softly batting your eyes and trying to appear interested in his company.

“Of course. I’ll be right here, M’Lady,” he said, with another half faux grin.

Stepping over a smattering of bright pink petals from the azaleas growing through the trees, you picked up the dirt path and followed it into this special place known as the Elven woods. The deeper you progressed, the more you were enveloped by a low hanging mist.

A dozen or so more steps, and the canopy of trees broke, but only to rise up further into the sky. You could still see spots of blue with light filtering towards the lush forest floor. With the mist settled on the ground, it reflected the light giving the forest a lustrous glow that surely only lent to the area’s mystique.

In the midst of a small clearing, stood a hundred-year-old oak tree. It had dozens of limbs twisting and turning in every direction. The way the light was floating down through the leaves was mystical. Slowly taking steps towards you, you reached out and placed your hand against the bark.

Instantly, you could feel the surge of energy that spiked up through the bottoms of your feet, then coursed through your veins. It was as if it was just sitting there, laying dormant waiting for you to come along. You felt alive, inspired and injected with a sort of euphoric calmness you’d never experienced.

Later, when you were soaked through, bleeding and trying to catch your breath, your thoughts would circle back to the day and how you ended up where you were… you would blame that infusion of magic, for being distracted, unable to hear your attacker approaching from behind and getting close enough to put a blade to your throat.

Tags are open! Chapter 4, coming soon! 

[kylermalloy]

My Official Unofficial Ranking of Supernatural Seasons That Nobody Asked For

This was...surprisingly easy. For someone who has a hard time picking favorites, I’m apparently quite eager to throw some seasons of one of my favorite shows under the bus.

My reasonings for this ranking are...all over the place. Since I’m considering seasons as a whole, I look mostly at the overall narrative structure, the prevalent themes, and the major character arcs. I won’t take individual/one-off episodes into much consideration...except for when I do. I won’t like some seasons/story arcs for any rationale between “this was sloppily executed,” “the message is misunderstood by viewers,” or even just that gif of Chris Evans “I don’t wike it.” I’m trying to look at seasons and storylines objectively, but I guarantee my Sam!girl bias will peek through at some point. Also, I reserve the right to change my mind at any point after I post this!

From bottom to top:

14 - Season 14

Ah, the twilight years of SPN. Now that we know this is the penultimate season, I’m a bit more lenient toward its shortcomings. Long running shows usually do stutter to a halt, story-wise. But still. I’m not taking it out of the bottom spot.

What was this season even about? Michael overtaking Dean? Nah, that barely lasted three whole episodes. Jack becoming evil? Not until the last six episodes. Team Free Will becoming a cohesive family unit? Lol. For a season that tried to set up Jack’s evil arc as a kid betraying his family, I hardly saw this “family” except in fanworks. The most heartfelt moments remained between Sam and Dean (not that I’m complaining about that—I loved those moments!) Was there an overarching theme besides “nobody is okay, especially Sam”? Season 14 is clumsy, unfocused, and does a poor job of telling the story it tried to tell. Even Mary’s second death reeked of “well, we didn’t know what to do with her and we needed a tragedy.” Oh yeah, and John was back for a hot minute.

13 - Season 9

Here’s one of these weird seasons. I like it, but I don’t. It’s well done, but it’s terrible. Also, I’m taking fan response into consideration on this one, since it colored my perception of it so negatively.

Season 9 could have been great. In a way, it was great. It was Dean’s dark arc—the part of Dean’s dark arc that I like. I’m not here to debate, just lay out the story. Dean stepped over a line. He tricked Sam into possession, lied to him for months, then refused to apologize afterward. He took the Mark of Cain as a penance, but it blew up in his face and turned him into something worse than he was before.

This is where fan response comes in. Fandom (from what I can tell; I wasn’t here back then) vilified Sam for setting boundaries with Dean, overwhelmingly siding with poor Dean who just didn’t want to be alone. The show, on paper, wasn’t trying to make the audience think this, but the POVs were skewed in such a way that we hardly got a chance to see Sam’s perspective and Sam’s trauma—so casual viewers didn’t really have a choice.

On a completely unrelated note (see, this is why this season is ranked so low) we have the angel storyline. What could’ve been a really cool and impactful story of celestial beings walking the earth, as well as Castiel exploring his new humanity in a way (that wasn’t just about sex) ended up a trite, dull affair about underdeveloped politics and characters I don’t care about. Did Metatron (the supposed big bad) even care about the Winchesters? I can’t remember. Only the actor’s indulgently entertaining performance saves that character. Even Castiel’s human arc was so short and ignored I sometimes forget it happened. This was a season that was so all over the place—good bones, bad execution.

12 - Season 12

This season is just...forgettable. Yet another season that was so all over the place—but unlike season 9, the story arcs did not culminate in a cool twist that pushed the SPN story to new heights. We had the BMOL, Mary’s return, and the Lucifer/Kelly/Dagon/nephilim story, and...honestly I can barely remember anything about them. The twisting story threads got interlocked at some points, like Mary working with the BMOL, and Sam and Dean working with them to take down Lucifer, but the threads were all wrapped up independently. To me, this suggests a lack of true investment in the stories and season arcs. Ultimately, Mary’s return was utterly wasted, the BMOL might as well have never existed, and the Lucifer storyline is a bloody, bloated carcass being dragged along behind the show by a fraying rope (called Buckleming) complete with a bad smell.

The reason I rank this season above season 9 is that I don’t shudder when I hear people talking about season 12. I don’t generally get angry when I think about it (except the way they did Crowley dirty) and it did give us Jack, the greatest fanon projection the show has ever given us. (I’ll elaborate on that in a minute)

11 - Season 10

This is the season in which I don’t like Dean’s dark arc. By that I mean...it wasn’t much of a dark arc. Instead of exploring Dean’s inner darkness and the choices that led him to take the MoC, we get a meandering season of (pretty enjoyable) one-offs. We are repeatedly told Dean can’t fight off what he truly is—except we’re also being told that Dean can’t truly control what the MoC is doing to him, meaning the MoC isn’t what he truly is. It’s a mixed message, and it ends up being too many episodes in a row of Dean staring moodily at his arm while he drinks. Sorry, an ancient tribal tattoo does not a compelling big bad make.

Speaking of bad guys, though, season 10 gave us Rowena! And more Crowley material! And the Stynes—wait, no. We don’t talk about...whatever they were.

I do like Sam’s determination to save Dean, and I even like the underhanded methods he used to get the MoC off. Charlie’s death was a horrifying shock, but it actually fed the story very well. And I know I said I wasn’t going to talk about individual episodes, but Soul Survivor and Fan Fiction are both epic.

10 - Season 8

...this season. This season is such a mixed bag you could almost rank it as two separate seasons! ;) This was Jeremy Carver’s first season as showrunner—and while I like what he ended up doing, I hated the way he played with the brother dynamics throughout the season, especially the first half. Season 8 starts out disjointed, very unconnected from the previous season. The story thread of “Sam didn’t look for Dean” is overplayed and very tired. Also a bit of a reach, considering the season 5 finale. My point is, Sam and Dean both act like pod people for the first part of this season. Dean is mad at Sam for...doing exactly what Dean himself did a few years ago (fandom misses the nuance of Dean’s hypocrisy and jumps right in the blame-Sam boat with him) and Sam is suddenly...living with a strange woman we barely get to meet and okay with not hunting anymore?

This is another example of the skewed POVs hurting the show’s message. We don’t get to see Sam’s grief the same way we saw Dean’s struggle in purgatory, and since Sam’s Amelia arc makes very little sense anyway, we’re forced to imagine it—and this is a disservice to both Sam and the overarching story.

However, the saving grace of season 8 is the second half. We get the bunker, the Trials storyline, which is a whump goldmine for my Sam-loving heart, and one of the best season finales this show has ever produced. I mean...they got married. In a CHURCH! I’m not really a wincester, but seriously how do you not ship it just a little when the show gives you stuff like THAT?!

*deep breath* I’m good. Moving on!

9 - Season 13

I...have a soft spot for this season. Anybody who follows me on here can probably guess why. That’s right, it’s Jack, the greatest fanon projection the show has ever gifted us.

Let me explain. The narrative structure of the season is a mess. The exploratory theme of Sam and Dean as parents is derailed by the fact that Sam and Dean spend less than six episodes with their surrogate child and spend the rest of the season spinning their wheels until it’s time for the finale. Lucifer as a villain doesn’t give a crap about the protagonists, which makes him a really boring and terrible antagonist—to say nothing of the fact that two of the writers try to make him sympathetic and end up assassinating the character harder than Michael!Dean did. I only found Scoobynatural mildly entertaining. As for Asmodeus...who’s that?

Basically, the only shining light in this season besides the brothers is Jack. And we don’t even get a consistent characterization of him. He’s essentially a blank slate, which means we as fans and fanwork creators get to make him whatever we want. While he’s supposedly the Winchesters’ kid in canon, it’s rarely shown—that falls on us as fans to make a reality. And boy do we make it reality! This is where I found my corner of fandom, and that’s why this mess of a season ranks relatively high for me. Still in the bottom half, but it gave me one of the greatest gifts the show has ever given.

8 - Season 7

I shouldn’t have to defend myself, but while most of the fandom harbors a little black spot of hatred for this season...I don’t. Like, at all.

I don’t agree with all the creative choices of this season—the Leviathans were an out-of-nowhere big bad with no connection to the Winchesters. However, the guy who played Dick Roman did a fantastic job hamming it up. And I love how all the pieces came together in the end—Sam and Dean, Cas, Crowley, even Meg as a surprise reluctant hero. We also got Charlie! And Kevin! Bobby got a fantastic arc, both before he died and from beyond the grave. And Crowley, even though he helped win the day, also rigged the game so he took all the pieces left on the board. Mad respect for my king.

Also, as a stalwart fan of Sam whump, Sam’s hallucination storyline was all kinds of awesome. (Except for how it abruptly ended and was never spoken of again)

I know objectively this season isn’t very good, but I still find myself rewatching it a surprising amount. I have a soft spot for Sera’s storytelling, and she did not have complete control over the creative decisions for this year. Season 7 only barely misses out of the top half.

7 - Season 3

This season is great, it really is. I think the main reason I rank it so low is because of the shortened season—Sam’s aborted arc. And that was obviously out of everyone’s control; the creators had to just pick up the pieces and make do with what circumstances gave them.

Basically, I don’t have anything bad to say about this season. It’s a brother-lovefest, it gives us Bela and Ruby, and yes we get some truly great one-off eps. Bad Day at Black Rock, A Very Supernatural Christmas, Mystery Spot, Jus in Bello, and Ghostfacers are among my favorite episodes to rewatch. I just mainly miss the end of Sam’s arc. Although I do appreciate the writers’ strike giving us Castiel instead, I still wish we could’ve gotten to see boyking!Sam save his brother.

6 - Season 2

While on the surface season 2 is barely different than season 1, it also gives us loads of gamechangers. It’s the coming-of-age season—Sam and Dean aren’t kids anymore; in fact, they aren’t anyone’s kids. The season bookends of John’s death and Sam’s death make a horrible tragedy that I don’t even care much what’s in the middle.

But then again, everything in between is so good. There’s not much of an overarching story, just a sense of dread and desperation as...something...draws near. (We don’t even know what it is, but it still scares us! It’s masterful!) The tone is consistent and effective, the brother dynamics are still balanced enough to fully enjoy, and of course...there’s Playthings. :)

(Y’all are gonna stop believing me when I say I’m not a wincester, I can feel it. What can I say, I have incestuous shipping tendencies.)

5 - Season 11

This is a season that I could tear limb from limb for falling so flat in the end, but...somehow I can’t bring myself to. I didn't find myself into the Amara storyline too much, mainly because the God/Darkness sibling dynamic wasn’t developed enough to parallel with Sam and Dean invest in. But this season does an awesome job of healing the brother dynamics. While seasons 8, 9, and 10 were fight-heavy, Sam and Dean spend this season in relative peace. In times of potential crisis, they band together instead of fracturing apart. And that, honestly, is enough for me to forgive...well, a lot, plotwise. The Dean/Amara connection that went nowhere, the Casifer storyline that went nowhere, the Darkness’s grudge against her brother that...went nowhere...and I’m not even going to touch on the Sam/Lucifer dynamic that started out SO GOOD and then...well...

Again, I’m not going to touch on it. I love this season despite its flaws.

4 - Season 1

Here it is. The season that started it all. I said I was going to consider mostly narrative structures for this ranking, yet here season 1 is without much of a narrative structure, fourth from the top.

The first season of a show is always the feel-around-in-the-dark season. This is where we learn the rules of the show, how the world works, and most importantly, who our characters are. We spend 22 episodes with the writers and actors just...figuring out who Sam and Dean are, most especially who they are to each other. They were so successful in this that they spawned a fifteen year phenomenon centered around this fraternal love story. As an additional plus, since the characters were so new, season 1 gives us the most balanced POV between the brothers. We get to feel for both of them without being pitted against each other, and I appreciate that more than words.

The horror is old-school, the storytelling can be a bit cliche, but every show has an origin story and I’m in love with this one.

3 - Season 6

Again, I love Sera Gamble’s storytelling. It’s most evidenced here in her first year of showrunning. This season had the astronomical task of following up season 5. How do you follow up the literal apocalypse?

...Astoundingly well. To me at least.

This season’s narrative structure is my favorite. It’s kind of a noir thriller, with more twists and turns than Supernatural usually gets. In fact, having now watched Vampire Diaries and The Originals, season 6 of SPN kind of echoes those shows. (I don’t think it’s coincidence that TVD aired its first season one year prior to this)

Instead of trying to outdo the literal devil (the mistake of latter seasons) we spend most of season 6 not knowing who the big bad is. We meet a few baddies, get backstabbed by former friends, and we’re told Raphael is a threat, but in the end the big bad was the friend we made along the way—Castiel. It’s depressing, it’s not what we expected, and it’s honestly a departure from “traditional” SPN. But I like it. I like it a lot. If Sera had been allowed to do more seasons like this, she probably would’ve stayed longer.

2 - Season 4

I love a lot of things about this season. The way they handled the angels was great—the right way to do unknowably powerful beings. I like Sam’s dark arc. It’s coupled perfectly with his good intentions and his all-consuming love for his brother. The plot twist at the end is perfect—Sam, in doing the right thing, unleashes the worst evil this world has (yet) known.

The tone is also perfect. It’s dark. A little edgier. Edging toward eldritch horror rather than ghost horror. Balanced out with light episodes that pack a hard punch in the feels regardless. And this is a little thing, but the color grading shifts back to more sepia after the technicolor of season 3. It gives us this little sense of dread throughout the season without even knowing why.

I could complain about the skewed POVs, about how fandom still sometimes crows “Dean was right about Lilith!” when all Dean opposed was Ruby and the demon blood—he wanted killed Lilith too. But as this instance of POV-warp serves the storyline in a good, necessary way, and Sam truly did need to be brought back from his dark path, I’m choosing to ignore it.

1 - Season 5

Are we surprised? Maybe some Sam fans are—I know some who get vexed about the blame for the apocalypse being solely and constantly placed on Sam...but I’m not. The overall story of season 5 is just so good. Lucifer is a good villain in this season. Sam and Dean have an excellent healing arc. The angels are good villains, also ironic mouthpieces of the overarching themes—despite touting “fate” and “unavoidable,” they are champions of free will, since they do whatever they want in their father’s absence. Zachariah most notably. Castiel was utilized in a good way (whereas now he struggles to still have purpose in the show) Bobby and Crowley both were good in this season (and also sparked a rarepair that’s—hilariously—canon) and this season did not pull any punches when it came to death. Even the main protagonists were shot point-blank halfway through the season! (Don’t talk to me about the samulet, I can’t do it without bawling)

And Swan Song remains my favorite season finale and overall episode. Dean relinquishing control of his little brother, allowing him to make the ultimate sacrifice for the sake of the world. I still halfway wish the series ended with Sam and Dean both throwing themselves into the Cage, destroying themselves for the world, out of love for each other. (insert “poetic cinema” meme)

And there we have it! To my mutuals, I’d love to hear your thoughts or your rankings. And to @letsgobethegoodguys - Steph, since this was so hard for you, I did it myself so I could feel your pain. 😘

[yourfandomfriend]

SPN Finale and Dabb Thoughts

So, I've been keeping so much of this to myself since season 12...

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SUPERNATURAL SPOILERS BELOW

Also, long-ass post with criticism of Andrew Dabb, so hit “J” if you’re not down to crit.

Ready?

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Plot

I’m conflicted. On paper, this is my ideal SPN finale. Having Chuck pull the plug on c137 is so effing cool, I can’t wait to see what happens. The idea of the boys finally discovering, right before the show ends, that their lives of suffering and sacrifice are just wank material? That the cosmic entity who controls their fate is a lying sadist? The possibilities are endless and the last scene was fun as hell. Fully looking forward to seeing how it all shakes loose. 10/10 for the plot.

However.

Chuck

That’s just... not like Chuck at all. He used to be complex. He was loving and apathetic, cruel and compassionate, selfish and giving, grand and tiny. A wonderful monster and a terrible father. A riddle wrapped in a burrito. 

At least, he was when Kripke and Carver wrote him. Yeah, Kripke’s was a more inscrutable being while Carver’s was a “welp, cat’s out of the bag now, so let’s just carve this turkey” kind of God. But both contained multitudes.

Whereas Dabb’s Chuck is the manager of a Popcopy.

A pure villain. An oily, sadistic, narcissistic garbage deity without a second dimension. And without the context, I’m totally down for that. The idea of making the God of SPN’s world a pervert who creates good people, falls in love with them, and then tortures them until they’re “interesting” because its the only way he can shoot his goo is fantastic.

Sure, it’s been done a thousand times before, but we’ve been with these characters so long and watched them hurt and lose so many times, it’s almost like a reconning. It’s what most stans think of the people who control their favorite characters’ fates. But it’s completely disruptive to what’s come before.

And with any other showrunner, my first thought would be, It’s clearly a fakeout. Writers lie, right? This all must be ramping up to something bigger. But isn’t Kripke or Carver. This is Dabby boy.

Andrew Dabb

When Kripke and Carver’s seasons make me see scorched earth and think it’s laying the groundwork for something deep, I find out Dabb’s already spent and is fast asleep with a smile on his face. He leads up to no payoff and pays off with no lead-up. He destroys the world he inherited to get what excites him and then throws it in the trash when he inevitably gets bored.

Also, like with 12 and 13′s finales, I should’ve felt more given the events of the episode. But I didn’t. The tone was flat, the theming was MIA, the structure was a mess -- I mean, the scene where Cas gets thrown and just lays on the ground to stay out of the way while Dean’s all ready to shoot Jack and then Sam parks a damn mile away and runs to stop them for, like, an hour --

-- and the continuity is screwy, because, well, continuity is boring, right? It’s constraining and hard to keep track of, and totally ruins a big twist. Like having Lucifer and Michael finally fight -- otherwise known as The Apocalypse, an event that was hyped in season 5 as ending in half the planet getting nuked -- is really just a wire-fu stunt that couldn't blow a pencil off a lopsided desk, because the main event is Dark!Jensen in his little hat and how about we end it like the Thriller video on a goddamn freeze frame? Why not?

And the thing season 5 was built around, free will, the idea that no matter how big things got, Sam and Dean could always say no to the angels using them, even archangels. Humans can change the world with their choices. Well, forget all that because now Michael can leave the side door open and sneak back in! 

Sure, it contradicts not only prior continuity but also everything the show stands for... but wasn’t it a sweet reveal when Dean turns around and oh no! It’s not Dean it’s Dark!Jensen and let’s get him back in the little hat!

And Sam. He’s always been ridiculously reverent of characters like God and Death. And he wanted to believe that Chuck was ultimately good. The Ultimate Good. When Sam believes in someone, it takes him a while to turn on them, Jack is proof of that. Having him pissed at Chuck from the jump was really uncharacteristic of him. Not only that, it robs his revelation of all its impact.

There’s no sense of betrayal for Sam, no room for characters arcing, not for Sam or Dean. Just a flat, telegraphed twist. I honestly would’ve preferred they did some plot judo and had Sam be the one Chuck convinced to put Jack down (”You know it’s the right thing to do.” “It has to be you.” etc.) and had Chuck argue with Dean to keep him busy while Sam stole the god gun and snuck out. 

Dean could’ve realized via conversation what Chuck was up to and raced off to save not only Sam but Jack and Cas from this cruel little drama. All while Chuck smirked down the clock, thinking he was just giving Dean enough rope to hang himself with. As usual.

Then have Sam realize as he’s pointing the gun at Jack that Chuck played him, and have Dean finally shoot God, just like he always wanted.

Billy

Given the ending, I have hope. Hope that Billie does something about the way the story has treated her since season 12. She was supposed to be the character who kept the writers honest and made sure they couldn’t use death and resurrection as a “Get Out of Jail Free” card, and then halfway through season 12, after humiliating her all season, Dabb uses resurrection to literally get the boys out of jail free.

He killed her off, teased consequences and forgot about them, and when she came back, (along with twenty other characters) she suddenly couldn’t wait to bring the boys back from the dead for no reason and teleport them out of impossible situations and lecture Rowena on the natural order and here’s a Mystery Box! A whole room of Mystery Boxes! Isn’t that interesting?!

Still, the last scene of the finale gives me so much hope. If Chuck really did what I think he did, if he really Azreal’d the universe, then everything is on the table in season 15 in a way that actually makes sense.

Also, the revelation that Death is into tickle porn is a thing of beauty and a joy forever. And everyone having to tell the truth and us finding out the petty secrets Sam and Dean have been hiding from us is gold.

I need to got to work in the morning so it’s long past my bedtime. Hit me up if you want more Dabb crit, praise, and jokes later. All my thoughts on Jack and Crowley and Mary, Michael and the Lucifer/Nick story, the real reason I quit @supernatural-answers, whatever you want.  I feel like finally sharing all. 

[neven-ebrez]

Supernatural's Narrative Structure Throughout the Years (Read More edition)

Supernatural has seen four showrunners (with one consistent one throughout, Robert Singer), which are: Eric Kripke, Sera Gamble, Jeremy Carver and now, Andrew Dabb.  At the beginning, the show focused on a more simplistic method of storytelling; the protagonists Sam and Dean Winchester went up against urban legends while looking for their elusive father.  Thirteen seasons later and this pilot season marks the only true exception to the show’s narrative structure. Starting in season 2 the show adopts a method of storytelling known as the A/B/C structure.  There is a “A” plot (known as the show’s “mytharc”), its “B” plot (its character development arc, usually shown through the lens of Dean Winchester, but the show frequently, especially in its later years, shows this through others), and then finally, its “C” plot, which exists in the form of “filler episodes” referred to as “Monsters of the Week”, or MOTW for the purposes of the meta writing community.  And it is through this mirrored structure that the complete story of Supernatural is told.

Dean Winchester is the show’s lens of righteousness (earlier on, but this shifts from time to time) and it is through him that the adopted structure of the show reveals both its strength and weakness.  Dean has learned not to talk about his hard life and frequently when he is begged to share his feelings, they are dismissed (unfortunately by Sam, Bobby, and Cas at various points) in favor of the show’s enforcement of toxic masculinity (oh, drama!) to maintain such structure needed to support a static two lead format.  Instead of Dean talking about his feelings, they are told through the show’s MOTW characters and situations.  This process is referred to as “the ‘C’ plot mirrors the 'B’ plot”, discussed further in length here and here.  Because of the various degrees of repression carried by our main characters, the show uses other characters to tell their stories with words.  The show often also creates whole characters to represent ideas, both simple (Bela Talbot, S3) and complex (Amara, S11). Almost every character that is not Sam and Dean, especially in the  seasons, is created and crafted to tell the story of them.  This creates situations where the show is frequently problematic in its social message/image because it’s using a multitude of diverse often under represented characters to tell the story of two white textually straight male leads, and then later, its two most often recurring regulars.  Because these things are not socially equal, the show endures quite a lot of justified criticism as a result.

Bela Talbot is the first structural case of simple mirroring being done (although her character was requested at the behest of the network, true, the manner in which they utilized her is entirely significant).  I think it’s first important, however, to talk about how Kripke crafted the show using the structure.  He talked about how in the end he wanted good Dean versus bad Sam.  This, of course, focuses the early structure of the show to align Sam with darkness and damning decisions. All of season two pushes Sam onto a dark path exploring his cursed demon blood powers while Dean tries desperately to stop this.  Season 3 introduces Bela, a narrative mirror for Dean to show what would happen to Dean if Sam wasn’t in his life.  She IS DEAN, but WITHOUT a Sam in her life.  And for her, this spells doom as she desperately tries to avoid the fate of her deal with a Crossroads Demon (a deal she made to avoid child sex abuse, a stand in comparison to Dean’s robbed childhood which the show would later revisit heavily in season 11).  The structure of the season 3 is relatively simple.  Bela was supposed to die while Dean is saved from his deal’s fate by Sam, effectively showing that while Sam is doing some dark things, that they are justified through the means to save Dean (a common moral stance Supernatural would come to depict over and over again).  This, of course, doesn’t get to happen.  The writers strike of 2007-08  forces Kripke to abandon this structure in favor of simply sending Dean to Hell.  Our first attempt at a predictive narrative structure thus fails.  It is not discarded, however, and our first successful implementation of it is in season 4.

In season 4 the writers are met with the tough task of getting Dean quickly out of Hell and so Angels are introduced.  This would prove to be a major turning point in the show’s success and its ultimate current structure some 9 seasons later. The introduction of Angels, while initially desired to be temporary was fully embrace with the introduction of Castiel as portrayed by Misha Collins.  This mythology introduction gave Kripke the perfect way to have good Dean versus bad Sam  in the form of Michael versus Lucifer, and old tell of rebellious siblings confronting one another in an ultimate fight.  Here, the show begins its ultimate structure towards this alignment, with the demon Ruby pulling Sam towards Lucifer and Castiel pulling Dean towards Michael (or, well, stopping Sam, as pulling Dean towards Michael is actually a goal of Zachariah in Season 5 instead of it being a goal of Castiel).

In season 4, all the characters (even Sam and Dean) and episodes (frequently showing the release of “seals” which bind Lucifer) are being used as functions towards a single goal, the release of Lucifer.  It was a simple and clean straight forward structure that allowed flow into a cohesive storyline, which remains the best of Supernatural’s structure and storytelling even to this day imo, It also allowed individuality (and the exploration of what it means to have humanity) to blossom within the addition of Castiel (originally only slated to be a 3 episode character), though the character could still be simplified into Dean with Sam’s bad choices.  Castiel would not start becoming his own character (instead of a character mirror or narrative concept) until much later in the series, though he would still be often regaled to simply serving the “B” plot of Dean, eventually getting a permanent “B” plot with him, thus cementing his importance in Dean’s life and within the show’s newer, complex structure.  

Season 5 saw the end of Kripke’s vision, but with one problem.  The show was getting a renewal.  We can see through season 5’s structure that Kripke intended Sam and Dean to die together in the Devil’s hole, unable to kill one another due to their love.  Against renewal and in an effort to salvage the sacrifice structure, we are instead introduced to Adam, a half brother who would instead receive Dean’s fate.  The season builds and compounds a sense of hopeless in our characters, both desperate to not play a part in Heaven’s games. Our mytharc and MOTW episodes in season 5 exist to drive this sense of compounding inevitability.  It is a structure not as clean as season 4’s but mainly because it has the same problem as season 3’s: the ending had to be changed. But meanwhile the show had another problem: “Where do you go after the Apocalypse?” It would not be a problem tackled by Kripke, but instead long time writer Sera Gamble, as Supernatural experienced its first showrunner change.  

With the departure of Kripke came the beginning of structural chaos and uncertainty.  Season 6 is driven by questions that seemingly have no answer against a plot that had just been done.  The Apocalypse was being put back on the rails and Castiel was dealing with it mostly offscreen, unlike Sam and Dean who, as leads, got to deal with it visibly in every episode in season 5.  This caused the audience to not experience the sense of urgency and desperation that Castiel is going through and it proves to be a structural weakness throughout the whole season as Sam and Dean deal with the fallout of Castiel’s righteousness in the form of Sam’s hell damage from his damaged soul in the cage and Crowley’s experiments on monsters, which is seemingly without purpose until the end of the season draws near and we finally see the importance the monsters hold.  Banished of Lucifer, the recurring addition of Crowley provides the show with a central point in which Hell things will now operate going forward.  This is the season in which Castiel begins the pattern making the mistakes of Sam.  And it is from this point that the show’s mirrored storytelling reaches new heights, most of which are predictable, unfortunately. Just as Sam and Dean release Lucifer, Cas releases the Leviathan into the world and thus we are shuttled into season 7, Apocalypse 2.0, monster edition (instead of angels/demons).  

Season 7 saw the ultimate weakness of the two lead structure, while the show headed down an already trotted path against massively failing ratings.  It is here that Gamble killed off both Bobby and Castiel while dumping a massive amount of emotional baggage onto Sam and Dean from which the show (and characters) seemed unlikely to recover from, buried in the Friday Night death slot.  Here, the season introduced a true structured  “B” plot for Dean and Cas, but it remained in the mirrored structure only, seeing as how Cas was effectively DEAD.  It is given in the form of grief and suffering, as per Gamble’s favored depiction of the show.  Not only were things hopeless, but everyone Sam and Dean cared about were dead (oh look, it’s season 13′s premise as well!).  The structures of Gamble era were driven primarily with a focus towards sorrow and suffering and while it’s true that the Leviathans (as compared to the totally delightful, but utterly senseless wanderings of season 6) were an interesting metaphor for corporate America’s greed and monstrosity, this did little to enrich and progress Sam and Dean as characters who were headed for anywhere except death.  And it is here we enter Carver era.

Replacing Gamble as showrunner was another long time writer for the show, Jeremy Carver.  Helming and writing with fresh eyes from having been away for a while, Carver era saw the dawn of a new light in the show.  It is often called a reboot of the show.  Castiel was back, Netflix produced a new influx of viewership, and the show had more or less cemented itself into the CW fold, renewed late and against all hope from grave of Friday night.  Conventions and streaming media provided a life line that gave way to a new form of structure on the show: precised mirrored storytelling in the form of a (possible, likely) three act structure.  In Carver era, (unlike its predecessors) things became driven by a repetitive thematic means and the genre of the show was shifted to something with an adventurous tone.  The Winchesters were going to close the Gates of Hell! Instead of reactive, our characters were thrust into being proactive.  This shifted the structure onto choice… and consequence.  Every detail fed into this: pop culture references, color coding within the visual framework, characters created that represented specific emotional struggles for our characters to interact with and conquer (or die through).  Season 8 is easily compared to Star Wars episode IV in terms of its place in Carver Era.  While Star Wars episode IV could function as a stand alone (seeing as the show didn’t realize the introduction of its lifeline yet), it was made to function as part of a beginning of a much longer and detailed story.  

Once again in season 8 Sam and Cas began to take on the role of pushing the mytharc along, with Sam completing the Hell trials to close the Gates and Cas breaking Heaven’s control over him to close the Gates of Heaven.  The role of Castiel (while visually is reduced from seasons 4, 5 and 6), in relation to his relationship with Dean, becomes significant.  A vast number of narrative structural mirrors are put into place to frame the relationship a certain way, and they are decidedly romantic in nature. The Dean/Cas relationship then begins to be told exclusively through interspecies romantic relationships, with a significant amount needing to break some kind of hold over a supernatural being, reflecting Naomi’s reprogramming of Castiel to kill Dean (8x11-8x17). The text and subtext of this season is further queer coded to a significant degree, evident very early on by reference to such works as Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (8x03), among many others.  Carver was taking the Dean/Cas relationship very seriously and it was a showrunning decision that would drive the storyline in structure just as much as the Dean/Sam one going forward, even after his departure.  Cas, meanwhile, is given a lot of structural baggage to explain away his absence as a regular instead of a lead. Not that he wasn’t crafted this way before, but soon a structural decision would come that tied both the Dean/Cas storyline and the Dean/Sam one together in a way that would prove inseparable. The choices made in the season 8 finale (with both Cas and Sam trying to leave Dean alone) are the consequences that would fester and bleed into the new season and the rest of Carver era.  

Consequences.  Choice. “I did what I had to…”

Under higher ratings than the show had had in YEARS, season 9 began, along with my structural meta series, The Divine Reviews, where I sought to document the show’s new structure (mostly how serious it was taking the newly active Destiel “B” plot from its former place as a grief standalone storyline).  9x01-9x03 represents a tying of the storylines for Sam/Dean and Dean/Cas in a way that makes it impossible to talk about one without the other, structurally speaking. Dean can deal with Cas leaving him, but only if Sam is alive.  And when push comes to shove, Dean will sacrifice Cas’ safety and position at his side if it means the survival of Sam.  The weight of this realization falls heavily on Dean and is the structural source of grief that saturates a season full of rape metaphors as Dean tricks Sam into not dying through the angel Gadreel’s possession of Sam.  For the first time, the show makes it uncomfortable to side with Dean (unless you like the fact that Dean will force his will on Sam to keep him alive) and Dean starts down a dark path of self hatred the likes of which the show has never delved into to such a striking degree.  This self hatred structurally manifests itself as the Mark of Cain and Dean’s decision to take it on without warning of consequence represents a significant turning point in the show’s ongoing structure.  Dean begins to carry the mytharc and the metaphor within, with significant structure weight put into the fact that Dean can’t bother to feel guilt for his actions, understandable as they are.  Dean and Cas thus begin a new romantic structure, one where lovers are torn apart by family duty (this is, perhaps, most laughably shown in 9x20 in the failed Bloodlines pilot episode that gives us heterosexual interspecies couple Violet/David who even mirror Destiel dialogue into their relationship of star crossed lovers separated by things beyond their control).  

Post midseason finale in season 9, narrative mirrors begin in earnest that take the foreshadowing for Dean to die into high gear.  These are vague and non-specific, however, with the decision to turn Dean into a demon through the Mark of Cain being made late into the season.  The death of Abaddon (and the possibility that she would simply possess him) seals Dean’s structural fate, as he is killed by what it narratively represents, the block to his character development. It is here that the show hits a structural sag with season 10 and the Mark of Cain being structurally translated into a variety of narrative woes: a disease that infects Dean’s heart, a catalyst which amplifies Dean’s already weary and repressed soul, a force from which there is no destruction and no relief.  

Season 10 on the whole represents a failure to find a solid avenue to character development in Dean.  Supernatural didn’t know how to solve it’s own created problem.  And while Dean’s death was given several avenues in season 9 from which to walk down, the same meandering does not look all together acceptable as it was before.  For the first time Crowley is woven into the structural storytelling, carrying Dean away, just as Hannah does to Cas, leaving Sam alone to solve the problem “of Dean”, who is given the structural foreboding task of avoiding Cain’s fate, which saw him kill his wife and brother, Cas and Sam respectively in our structure.  The season, rather than focusing on the underlining cause of Dean taking the Mark of Cain, focuses instead on Dean trying desperately to avoid dealing with the consequences of his actions.  This culminates in Dean beating Cas nearly to death just as Cain kills his wife.  Cas avoids such a fate, however, and begins a more passive stance in the narrative, supporting Sam, instead, who must now fill the role of Abel in our structure. By Death, Dean is ordered to kill Sam to avoid further complications from the Mark of Cain, which is revealed to be an age old lock to something ambiguously called “the Darkness”. Dean is, of course, unable to kill Sam, and kills Death instead and then we are given our final structural form of the decision to take the Mark of Cain in the form of Amara, God’s sister.  Still, we are dealing with consequences of Dean’s choices, but not the underlying cause.

At this point, the Dean/Cas storyline has been given lover/wife mirrors for going on 3 seasons now.  Cas is continuously coded as Dean’s “wife” by all structural elements within SPN’s mirrored storytelling.  Their relationship has been given much structural depiction and weight, which continues on into season 11 against the false lover, Amara.  I talk extensively about the child abuse and sex abuse mirrors involving Amara and how they relate to Dean’s stolen childhood here.  It is here, after 2 seasons of the same storyline, that the Mark of Cain Dean character developmental structure has been given its final form, but sadly, would not see its end.  

We see Dean’s helplessness towards his past in the form of Amara’s control over him.  And with Amara comes our third sibling vs sibling mirror in the form of God versus Amara (the previous being Michael versus Lucifer and Cain versus Abel), Supernatural’s go to depiction for Sam and Dean’s histories and averted futures.  The season’s structure builds towards the inevitable appearance of God to stop Amara, who has justifiable reasons to be angry as Hell.  Supernatural has, at this point, painted itself into a bad corner. There’s no bigger storyline it can go to as it is faced with the monumental task of resolving not only God and Amara, but everything that their struggle represents, Dean’s stolen life at the hands of his father.  For it’s conclusion, Supernatural would now face a different structural problem, however.  

The network would not allow them to kill God.  And while I have no absolute certainty from which to draw on here, I can only guess that either Amara was going to die also, most possibly to restore balance to the universe as Chuck’s death would cause everything to be destroyed or she was going to bring him back shortly after killing him.  We never get to know the truth of the structure as Chuck is effectively only injured, not killed.  And Amara makes the choice to heal him and forgive him instead of them possibly sharing oblivion together.  Amara then gives Dean back the thing she determines he needs most: his mother.  And it is here that Dabb era officially begins, Dabb having shadowed the running of the show at the end of the season following the mid season silent departure of Carver.  

Season 12. With a character development arc for Dean already 3 seasons in the making, Dabb is given the monumental showrunning task of “where do you go after God leaving?”  A smaller scale mytharc is given in place of the sweeping epic of Carver era.  The British Men of Letters are introduced as a way of shaping Sam into being a leader among the American hunters, readdressing the question of what Sam can do to stay in the life and find his place outside of Dean. Dean, however, continues on the structural development path of confronting the thing that prevents him from feeling he only deserves to go down swinging.  Mary is fleshed out as a person though she and Castiel continue to suffer from the show’s inability to switch to an ensemble cast, which is, at this point, a point of long regarded contention among many fans.  

Mary and Cas begin to mirror each other (as we contemplate their significance to Dean) and drive the story, each wishing to make amends and give Sam and Dean a world they feel is best without either of them asking how Sam and Dean feel about their actions. This sees Mary siding with the British Men of Letters and Cas pursuing Lucifer in an attempt to cage him once more, having let him out to deal with Amara last season in another attempt to save Dean from action (Cas’ need to die for his family because he sees himself as expendable is a plot line that’s long overdue for resolution). We see Mary being made to earn her place as family through her realizing why Cas already has.  It is the most passive Sam and Dean have ever been in the structure, with everything mostly driven by Mary and Cas along with the overall theme of what it means to truly love and sacrifice to earn the label of “family”. For this, Cas is given a structural death sentence.  And Supernatural delivers, painfully.  A portal to another world is opened up courtesy of Jack, the nephilim of Lucifer and it is here that Dabb era ultimately takes us: a new world of possibilities.   The same can not, however, be said of the show’s narrative structure, which seems to be on a one way road and has been for a long, albeit slow, time.  

Dean has forgiven Mary for setting him on the path to have a robbed childhood, effectively wrapping up the long drawn out Mark of Cain storyline.  Forgiveness. Love. Family. New beginnings. These are the themes that run through Dabb era. Dean is finally given everything and then within the space of one episode it has been taken away.  The nephilim introduces the show to once again ask the age old question: “nature or nuture?”, as Sam and Dean are forced to deal with an unprecedented force thrust upon them in their moments of grief.  Like Carver before him, Dabb era looks to be using a three act structure, with Carver’s final act serving also as Dabb’s beginning.  This would place season 13 quickly through the realms of Star Wars V-VI.  Things are bleak, hope has quickly been lost, the lover has been taken and the family has been torn apart.  A dark empire looms.  And it is here that Dabb era continues.

Season 13 functions structurally as a reworking of season 12, with much the same values as Dabb’s first season, but with Sam and Dean’s desires driving the structure instead of Cas and Mary’s. A course of hope is set, one where the Winchesters can finally find a way to try and live a life that actually includes LIVING while hunting, all the while trying to hang it up for good, but realizing this may simply be an unattainable dream.

Dabb era has firmly made its bed as “Family Don’t End in Blood” and has laid in it. Mirrors for Dean and Cas continue to be a familial/romantic blend, reflective of how Dean and Cas’ confusion and fear over addressing the unquantifiable love between one another continues to bleed into the entire narrative, the show continuing to use missions as a buffer to having the characters finally have a “feelings” talk to one another. It is a conversation they both continue to fear: when Dean stops lumping Sam into his feelings, and Cas stops deflecting to a more pressing mission as a means to avoid the fear of heartache that comes with Dean simply calling him “family” or “brother” one more time. NEED over WANT.

Sam’s development into leader, however, is put onto the back burner in favor of the season’s elaborate structural examination of trauma. Sam can no longer do anything as long as Lucifer continues to linger. Like with season 12, season 13 gives the Winchesters back everything, then threatens to take it all away again. Mary’s desire to help the AU world over returning home hits the Winchesters very hard. The mission to protect people is given full focus to Sam. If Sam wants a relationship with his mom, then helping reshape the life of the hunters living in the hunting world is how he does that. This is essential. And while season 14 will drive this idea, the Mary/Sam angle is something temporarily set aside.

Trauma (from hunting, from Mary, from John, from Heaven and angels), building a family through bonds, and hope for the future all culminate as the thematic lifeblood that runs through Dabb era. I discuss season 13 further at length here.  Like the two seasons before it, the theme of trauma and how to move forward from it continues into season 14 with Michael structurally translating as the trauma of bad parenting/leading upon Dean Winchester specifically. Season 13 and season 14, in many ways, will (seemingly) function as two sides to the same coin, a narrative structured to examine how the trauma of the past informs (and stagnates) the fear and hope of the future. I’ve called season 14 an accordion arc, and it is, but it’s also one that is far more natural than season 10 due to more careful planning. Seasons 13 and 14 within Dabb era function and do the same as seasons 9 and 10 within Carver era: carrying the driving conflict/mytharc (the MOC for Carver era, Michael for Dabb era) across two seasons, but to Dabb’s credit over Carver, Dabb seems to have planned for it a lot better ahead of time.

---

This post was originally crafted here.  It was requested under a READ MORE so I reworked it into a single new post as presented above.  It will be updated when season 14 is complete.

[missjackil]

Season 8

I’ve seen a lot of discussion about Season 8 lately, most of you hate it, or at least the first half. Understandable really, it was a train wreck! I will go on record to say that yes, Sam was very OOC for not looking for Dean, but it’s canon, so we do have to accept it. 

I do think however, I may understand what Carver was going for with it. I’m not saying it was executed well, but from what all happened in the previous seasons, I think it was very important to establish who the brothers are to each other. Looking back through every season before this one, though there were some very good broments a lot the way, there were a lot of unnecessary fights, lies, insults and mistrust. How could they really sell to us how deeply they love each other while they keep hurting each other so badly? 

In this essay, I may come down hard on both brothers at times. Please dont take it that I hate either or that I’m a stan for one or the other. I love these boys... flaws and all, so if you’re okay hearing your fav isnt always perfect (whichever bro that might be) please continue :)

In the beginning of Season 8, we have this strange, awkward, and OOC clusterfuck that we all blame bad writing for. And it was, I agree, and so do Jared and Jensen, but they both love where it led and are proud of the finished product. 

I’ll start with the major OOC elephant in the room that is Sam not looking for Dean. He never really gives us a reason, even though later in the season he says that his whole world imploded, came raining down on him and he ran. We have to keep that as the only canonical reason as to why he didn't, so we only have headcanons to fill in the blanks. My main concern with it really is just that I am sure that Sam would have at least established Dean was dead for real, before moving on. There were no bodies, or even any blood, to indicate that Dean might be dead. I do believe that Sam would have or should have at least bought an Ouija Board , but then what could he do? Everyone he knew who could help him was dead. All the lore books they’d been using for 7 years were burned up in Bobby’s house. All that was left was Dad’s journal which had very little information in it. So he accepts Crowley’s words “You are in fact truly on your own”, fixed up the Impala and drove. 

I don't believe Sam was suicidal. Crushed yes, depressed as hell but he won't kill himself without helping people in some way. Same with Dean. They may have wanted to die and would welcome death many times, but they're selfless martyrs, they won't eat a bullet or drive off a bridge, unless it was for a greater good. So Sam didnt look for Dean, because “Dean wouldnt want that” as we saw how pissed Dean was at Sam in S4 when he thought Sam sprung him from Hell, Sam had to remember that.  Sam also knows he wanted Dean to have a normal life when he was gone, and Dean was nearly successful. Also, in the very same episode that Dean apparently died in, Bobby told them both upon leaving, “when it’s your time... go” So Sam most likely thought Dean would be proud of him if he moved on. That IS why Dean taught him how to fix the Impala a few years back right?

So Sam tries to move on. I hated Amelia, but I dont think we were ever supposed to really like her or “ship” them, we were supposed to feel the fakeness, how awkward and just wrong it was. Sam never looked content with her, even though once she stopped treating him like trash, he smiled a lot, he never seemed happy. She was nothing more to him than a grief partner and a physical distraction. He probably enjoyed playing house though, having a dog, getting a paycheck, but it wasn't really his life. 

Meanwhile, Dean is in Purgatory with Cas and Benny, fighting monsters every day all day for a year. And this isn't a bad place for Dean honestly, he even referred to it as his “happy place” later, but it wasn't home, and Sam wasn't there. So in addition to slashing monsters all day, Dean was trying to find his way out to get back to Sam and their life. 

Dean comes out and finally, he meets back up with Sam. The reunion hug was amazing! One of my favorites. they both looked genuinely happy to be with their brother again, but it was sadly short-lived.  When Dean told Sam he wasn’t dead, he was in Purgatory, you can see the color leave Sam’s face. Like “Shit, I fucked up, I should have looked for him.” and then comes Sam’s big reveal that he got out of hunting. Watch how he says this. He’s not hiding it, he’s kind of cheerful about it, not like when Dean came back from Hell and he knew he was doing something Dean would be pissed at, he may have THOUGHT Dean would be pleased that he tried to move on, but obviously, Dean was not. 

Im not blaming either of them for what they felt. They’re both justified in it. Sam felt like Dean would want this for him, and Dean felt like Sam was out there looking for him, or at least missing him terribly, and needed to get back. Imagine if you will, as each other's spouse. One goes off to war, goes MIA and is presumed dead, though no body is found. It may have been established beforehand that if anything happened to the soldier, that his remaining spouse is to move on with their life. However the soldier isn't dead, he’s a POW and he busts his ass for a year to try to get home. You bet he’s going to be pissed off when he gets home to see his spouse DID move on and didn't even ask for proof he was dead first. 

Now we have Dean angry with Sam, Sam feeling guilty, but not willing to take the griping, so he’s going to fire back, and start threatening to leave. We have known from day 1 that Dean doesn't want Sam to abandon him. But he feels like Sam abandoned him in Purgatory, and now he’s trying to abandon him in the real world. 

I feel like, at this point, Sam felt like he had the upper hand. He had the “Stop nagging me or I'm out” card, but he didn't know Dean had a card left to play either. He had the “Leave me and I'll replace you” card.  This takes us to when Sam met Benny. Sam had been looking at schools again, weighing his options, so Dean thought it was time to introduce him to Benny. 

Dean hadn't seen Benny since they got back, so had he and Sam been in good graces, I don't think Dean would have run out to help him when he called, or at least he wouldn't have been secretive about it, but they were on shaky terms and if Sam wanted to play emotional chicken with him, Dean can play this game too. There was no reason at all for Dean to have told Sam to meet him at the dock. Dean had his car, Sam had to steal one to get there. Sam rushes because he thinks Dean needs him, and now he’s not answering his phone, and Sam is panicking. Dean had told him he was on this hunt with a friend, but Dean doesnt have any friends right? Certainly none he can trust to have his back in a hunt right? Dean must be in trouble! However, when Sam gets to the dock, Dean is pulling up with this big dude. The camera focuses on Sam and Benny’s hands long enough for us to notice that Benny’s hand is bigger than Sam’s. Sam turns from pissed off brother, reluctant hunting partner, to jealous spouse in 60 seconds. He goes for his blade, he’s going to kill this bastard! Dean shakes his head.... “no”. Sam had no idea Benny was a Vamp at that point, he was going to kill his replacement. Dean got this, oh so smug look on his face “Go ahead and leave me.... but don't think I’ll be alone”.

I'm going to leave it there because I don't want to analyze the entire season. What I want to show you is that Carver must have wanted to deconstruct the entire relationship, look at each piece of it, and show it to us, and then put it back together by the end of the season. By the end of Sacrifice, we learned Dean doesn't want to be without Sam but is willing to let Sam go and live his normal life, but to do that Dean wants to go out saving the world so Sam and everyone else can be safe. Sam doesn't want to be without Dean, but he thinks he's lost Dean’s trust, and he’s been replaced by Benny, Cas and holds Dean back from doing what he wants, so he’s going to save the world, even though it’s going to kill him in the process. 

Dean had told Sam that he didn't burn Benny’s body when he killed him, and Sam said he understood, and he might need him later. 

So I hope you can see why I feel Carver did this. I for one knew that Sam and Dean loved each other, but I honestly didnt see this “nothing comes before you” type bond before S8. So he took everything, from the very root, in the beginning, and laid it all out on the table for us, before giving us this epic defining moment in the Church between Sam and Dean. Sam would rather die than lose his place with Dean, and Dean would rather kill them all and let the world burn than to lose Sam, 

So even though I think the beginning was poorly executed, I do appreciate what it was showing us and I love the finished product. There hasn't been a more defining season in the whole series. As much as you might hate S8, you probably wont ever put the church scene out of your mind, and what led up to it. So, in my humble opinion, rocky start Mr Carver, but well played 🙌

[huntertales]

Part One: If Only I Had a Heart. (Heartache S08E03)

Episode Summary: While trying to track down Kevin, the Winchesters and the reader get sidetracked by a series of murders where the victims have gotten their hearts ripped out. One killer is captured, but things become even more complicated for the trio when they find their killer in a trance, mumbling an ancient prayer they can’t decipher. Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader Word Count: 6,103.

Previous Part | Supernatural Rewrite Masterlist

“You’ve been back for how long and now you finally decide to call me?”

You could tell by the tone of Josh Carver’s voice that he was pulling your leg in his infamous sarcasm you didn’t find the least bit funny today. You felt the need to give him an apologetic smile at how bad your timing was on these sort of things. You’d been trying to get back into the swing of things after regaining your own memories and getting up to speed with what you had missed out on, including the demon tablet business that had been weighing on your mind.

But right as you were about to take some time out of your day to call up your old friend, that's when Crowley decided to steal the tablet and Kevin ran off with his mother. The three of you tried looking for the Tran family, yet you had no luck. So you decided to kill two birds with one stone and ask some help from your best friend.

You thought he’d be a bit spooked to see an incoming call from a new number, let alone the face of a person who was supposed to be dead for the past two years when you decided to video chat with him on the phone. (Which thing that apparently you could do, thanks for the help from Sam.) He seemed overjoyed at the sight of you when he picked up on this early afternoon. It was you who was taken back at his calm and casual attitude you weren't expecting. Which you then learned about the small detail about how Dean called up the man after he bumped into you back at the college in Michigan to see if he knew anything about this. Now you felt like you were the one left with egg on your face.

"You look good." You complimented the man as you took a moment to examine him for the first time. Josh still looked about the same since the last time you saw him. A little older around the eyes and his beard a bit more bushier than you remembered, but he seemed happier than he had been in a while. "I'm sorry about your grandparents, by the way. The boys told me about what happened."

“Thanks, Y/N. I’ll admit, it still hurts. But I’ve had time over the past few years to process. I keep telling myself they’re in a better place together.” Josh said. His way of thinking made you smile, this time, with genuine happiness. You’d known his grandparents since you were four years old and moved to Y/H/S. Losing them was like losing a pat of your own family. Josh leaned forward into the camera slightly as he examined the scenery around you. "Where the hell are you?"

“Farmer’s market.” You explained to the man. You were trailing behind the brothers while Sam shopped around for some local produce while Dean was engrossed in his phone, reading some article he found. You passed by people while keeping your attention to the man you were talking to. “How have things been for you?”

“Oh, you know. Boring. Nobody calling me up and asking me to do a favor about the creepy and crawly. Or a demon asking to make a deal with me." Josh jokingly said. You still found yourself rolling your eyes as your smile grew even wider. "Speaking of which, how have you been? Feels like it’s been two years since I heard from you. Oh wait...it has!”

"I hate you so much. You know that, right?" You told the man, Josh shrugged his shoulders. "I'm good. Honestly. Feels nice to be back in the swing of things. Be myself for a change. But I've been busy. And there was another reason why I called. Which wasn’t the main reason why. It's nothing of serious matter...well, it kind of is. Kind of dealing with demons and missing prophets."

"Another lovely adventure for our hunters, Y/N YL/N and the Winchesters. What's going on?" Josh asked with curiosity. He broke into a smile, already wanting to know what kind of help you were going to ask from him. You suddenly grew hesitant about asking him for help after all the trouble you had caused the man not too long ago. Josh seemed to sense why you had grown all quiet. "Y/N, I owe you my life for what I did to you. Ask and you shall receive, my friend."

"Well let's just say I've got a prophet and his mother in the wind and Crowley has something that we spent forever trying to track down. If he gets his hands on the kid then who knows what will happen." You explained to the man best as you could without admitting details out to the public. Josh seemed rather curious at the details alone. "Do you mind helping me out by keeping an eye on things? We just spent a week chasing our tails.”

"Helping my best friend out with all things supernatural and sticking it to the king of hell? Let me think about that." Josh pretended to do just that, making you give him a look from how annoying he could be. "Send me an email of all the details. I’ll get back to you soon as I can once I got a system set up. Because, unlike some people, I still have a full-time job.”

You smiled in appreciation and mumbled a goodbye to Josh after thanking him for the hard work he willingly was about to do. You ended the call and shoved the phone back into your pocket to try and catch up with the brothers who were farther up ahead than you realized. Sam was eating an apple and examining some fresh vegetables while Dean was reading an article that he found. Everything was as you left them after you took a few minutes to see how Josh was doing. You squeezed yourself in between the boys to make your presence known.

“Wow. Guy goes to purgatory for a year, all hell breaks loose. Check this out.” Dean said. You leaned over slightly try and read some of the article he was reading that engrossed his attention so much. "A jogger in Minneapolis gets his heart ripped out."

“I’m guessing literally?” You presumed the direction of where this was going.

“Only way that interests me.” Dean said. You scoffed quietly at his strange sense of humor while listening him continue on with the story that even got weirder. "And then, there's another article from six months ago. Same things happens, also in Minneapolis. What does that tell us?”

"Stay out of Minneapolis." Sam guessed. He was distracted to what his brother was saying. He didn’t think too much about the coincidences as he picked out a vine of tomatoes and handed over a few dollars to the friendly woman working the stand.

"Two hearts ganked, same city, six months apart. I mean, that's got to be a ritual, man. Or at least some sort of a heart-sucking, possessed, satanic, crack-whore bat." Dean went off, listing all sorts of presumptions that made you and his brother look at him with a funny expression. "It's a case. Look, I say we hang out the shingle again and ride."

“We’re on a case, Dean.” Sam told his brother with a mouth full of his chewed apple. “Kevin and the demon tablet need to be found, so heart guy takes a number.”

“Uh, we just spent a week chasing our asses trying to lock Devin down, okay? And look at us. We’re--” Dean finally looked up from his phone screen after stepping out of the Impala. He felt his face scrunch up in confusion at the sight of several stand tso many different stands around him with people walking around, examining fresh produce. "Where the hell are we?"

"Farmers' market. Organic stuff. I know you haven't touched a vegetable in your lifetime, but i'm pretty sure you could identify one." You sarcastically implied as you gestured around the place all of you had been at for quite some time now. "Honestly, it wouldn't hurt for us to actually include some healthier stuff in our diet. We’re not exactly getting any younger.”

Now it was Dean's turn to look at you and his brother with a baffled expression. You weren't sure if it was because of your suggestion to change up his diet, or the fact that his brother was spending the afternoon at such a hippie environment Dean would never be caught dead in. Either way, you rolled your eyes and shook your head. "What? I had a year off." Sam defended himself against his brother's judgmental stare. "I took the time to enjoy the good things."

“While avoiding doing what we actually do.” Dean muttered, holding up his phone to subtly hint at the case his brother had nonchalantly dismissed just a minute ago.

“Wow, Dean, does it make you feel that much better every time you say it?” Sam asked. You could tell this conversation wasn’t heading in any direction helpful to Kevin or the victims. It was always about unresolved emotions between the two brothers they subtly fought back and forth about.

“All right, man, look, I get it. You took a year off to do yoga and play the lute, whatever. But I’m back. Okay, we’re back, which means that we walk and kill monsters at the same time. We’ll find Kevin. But in the meantime, do we ignore stuff like this?” Dean asked his brother as he held up his phone to the article he was reading. “Or are innocent people supposed to die while you shop for produce?”

You could tell by Sam’s expression that he was a bit hesitant to jump on board with the idea. But lucky for you and the boys, you already had a plan to keep him from backing out. “Actually, I had a pretty successful talk with Josh.” You spoke up. “I told him about Kevin. He’d be willing to keep an eye out on things while we hunt. Can’t hurt to have an extra set on this, right?”

Dean seemed on board with the idea when he shrugged his shoulders at the mention of a name that made him once cringe at the mere thought. However you noticed it was Sam who appeared apprehensive, even a little bit defeated. You gave him a small smile, knowing deep down this wasn't what he wanted to do. Much as you would have loved to see Sam enjoying his life he lived just a year before again, shopping for organic fruit with this Amelia, enjoying his quiet life, it was only possible with one outcome. Once all of you found the demon tablet and Kevin, Sam could get his normal life back on track. But he would have to realize it was going to come anytime soon. You needed him too much right now for him to disappear.

+ + +

You stood with one arm crossed over your chest and the other with your fingers wrapped around the chain of a locket that was once your mother's you thought was lost forever. You accidentally put it in a box marked for charity when you were cleaning out all of her belongings a few months after she passed. While you were devastated and thought it was lost forever, it was found years later by Dean. He gifted it to you as a Christmas present the same year the both of you presumed it was going to be his last one because of the demon deal he made. It was one of your most favorite things you owned. You'd gotten in the habit of wearing it constantly since you got it. Right when you got out of hell for the first time to the first day you remembered who you were.

However you found it a little ironic when you realized the shape of the locket was exactly what the jogger was missing. You stared down at the glossy crime scene photographs of the victim lying face down on the grass. You let go of the heart shaped locket, feeling it fall back down to your chest as you reached out a hand to flip through the case file to find the autopsy report to try and see what else you could discover about this case. You read through the articles Dean found out about these murders and came to the conclusion this was your kind of weird. Nobody had the strength to rip out someone’s chest. Unless they had a little supernatural help.

“Here’s what’s odd about this thing--the guy wasn’t chopped or cut into, no incision.” You looked up from the case file and to the older Minneapolis detective assigned to working this case. “But his heart was ripped out of him like a peach pit.”

"Was he robbed?" Sam asked the detective as he grabbed a photograph to view for himself.

“Phone, watch, money all still on him.” The detective said. Your guess for this type of murder was possible werewolf, they liked the heart of the victims. But they were more messy about their killings. There wasn’t any traces of sulfur found in the chest cavity which ruled out a demon for now. It only left an infinite amount of possibilities for you. You asked the man if the victim had any enemies, wondering if the killer was working a little black magic, an angry ex-lover who dabbles in witchcraft to get back at their boyfriend. “He was in town for a conference. No local connections.”

“You guys had another one of these about six months ago.” Dean said, bringing up the other case while all of you were here discussing the first one that caught his attention.

“Yeah, and we hit a brick wall. We had nothing to go on, really. Thought maybe we got lucky here. A park surveillance camera picked up something.” The detective began walking over to the TV to show you and the boys the security camera footage of the park of your victim. You followed behind as he pulled up the video for all of you to review.

You watched as you saw the victim went on his way jogging at a steady pace, however you noticed right away that he wasn't alone. You narrowed your eyes on the figure that went past him, it looked to be another runner. The detective stopped the footage to show the other runner wasn't who you expected to be when he passed the victim. He was a little more on the heavier side, not exactly the type you would expect to go faster than the victim from his psychique alone. 

“That chubby guy the last person to see the vic alive?” Dean asked.

“Other than the killer. Name’s Paul Hayes.” The detective told all of you. “We pulled him in for questioning.”

“What makes you think he’s so clean?” Sam wondered, knowing looks could be deceiving in these kind of situations. The detective might see a chubby runner trying to get his work out in, you and the boys wondered if you found your killer.

“Well, so far, no reason not to. I mean, he said he briefly saw the victim, he ran ahead, that was it.” The detective said.

“Wait, you mean he didn’t fall to his knees and confess to gutting the guy?” Dean asked, taking it upon himself to believe the guy was guilty from the footage alone.

"No. I mean we did a thorough check on the guy, not so much as a parking ticket came up. I mean, look at him. Sure, he can run a little bit, but Thor he ain't. You think he's gonna grab Freddy fitness here and throw him down and rip his heart out? I don't think so." The detective said. You could tell this conversation was going in a bad direction from how you noticed the man was becoming a little bit heated. "Forgive me if I didn't take him out back and shoot him."

"Okay uh, so..." You cleared your throat as you smiled at the detective. You quickly snuck a hand up and grabbed a fistful of Dean's suit jacket to yank him back into reality. You could tell he wasn't exactly pleased at how the detective was speaking to him, but this wasn't the place or the time. "Any idea where we can find the guy?"

+ + +

You enjoyed eating healthy foods and running a few times a week in the morning as a way to help stay in shape and clear your head. But you would never down an opportunity to unbutton your jeans and devour something covered in grease and cheese. It was all about balance. But you would rather starve than drink whatever sort of concoction Paul Hayes threw in his blender. You smiled at the man standing behind the counter when he noticed you and the younger Winchester watch as the contents inside were turning into a dull green color that reminded you a little bit of vomit, if you had to be honest.

"Sorry. I kind of try to stick to a nutrition and workout schedule." Paul explained to you and Sam. You watched as he poured himself a drink into a tall glass to enjoy, but not before offering you some out of politeness. "Do you want a hit?"

“I’m good. Thank you.” You mumbled, turning down the offer. Paul didn't seem bothered. More for him to enjoy later. He circled around the counter so he was now leaning against it while the three of you discussed the night your victim died. "So, Paul, you passed a runner who was later killed. Did you speak with him at all?"

“Yeah, I went over this with the cops.” Paul said. You positioned your pen on the small notebook you pulled out to make it appear you were ready to jot down any sort of new information that would help you more than the cops. But you had a feeling he wasn't going to be of much use. "I didn't know him. I had never spoken to him. I ran past him. I never saw him again. The end.” You smiled slightly and wrote down the information as he took a sip of his drink, right as Dean stepped out of the bathroom. “Mm, oh. It’s disgusting. It tastes like crap, but it keeps you young.”

"Thanks, uh..." Dean chuckled to himself as he pointed to the bathroom that he snuck off to. You looked over your shoulder to catch a glimpse of his toothy smile as he rubbed his stomach. "Too much fiber."

“No such thing.” Paul said, pointing a finger at the man with a smile.

"Thank you." Sam agreed with the man. You quietly scoffed when the younger Winchester gave his brother a smug look at who agreed with the healthy lifestyle choice. "See?"

"Funny. All the fiber in the world and you two would still be full of crap." You muttered the insult to your notepad as you stared down at the notes you had written down. It was obvious you’d gotten the brothers' attention, but you didn't really care. You looked up at Paul and continued on with the conversation. "Now, Paul, we couldn't help but notice that the jogger you outraced was a good deal much younger than you.”

“Yeah, and less, uh…” Dean didn’t want to be rude as he tried to mention the other factor about how a man like him outran the victim. He gestured with his hand to the stomach region where Paul was carrying a few extra pounds that would have slowed anyone down at his weight alone.

“Uh, full-figured? You should’ve seen me before. Yeah, hugging the desk all day and watching TV all night, eating fried everything was killing me. I had a health scare about a year ago.” Paul admitted. You gave the man a sympathetic look as Sam apologized for hearing such a thing. But Paul seemed like it was a blessing in disguise. “No, it changed my life. I mean, I started taking care of myself.”

“Now your body’s a temple, huh?” Dean said, taking a wild guess at the man’s new philosophy.

“Where I worship every day.” Paul agreed as he chuckled to himself. He raised his glass to his lips to take another sip of his juice. Your nose scrunched up slightly at the look of discomfort alone that crossed over the man's face as he forced himself to drink the smoothie he prepared for himself. You shut the small notebook and clicked the pen to let the tip go back. You had a feeling this conversation was over. But it didn’t mean Paul was off your radar just yet.

+ + +

You and the boys found a little face not too far from Paul’s house where you could sit down and gather all the information you knew so far about the case. You took a seat in the back where you wouldn’t be disturbed. While Sam was off for the moment and Dean was doing some research on the laptop, you busied yourself for the past few minutes up the email you meant to send to Josh earlier before all of you picked up this case. You were typing out the last paragraph when you saw Sam appear in your peripheral vision. You turned away from your phone screen to look up the man, greeting him with a small smile at his return.

“All right, so, what’s the word?” Sam asked his brother as he took his seat back down next to you so he could review the case file again. “What did you find poking around at Paul’s?”

“Ah, just the usual--condoms, hair gel.” Dean said while he scrolled through a few news articles in curiosity if he could find another similar cases like this. “No hex bags, nothing satanic, nothing spooky.”

"So, he didn't seem like a guy who would be voted most likely to be disembowel?" You curiously wondered as you sent the email off to the world wide wide. You let out a sigh and placed your phone down on the table for safekeeping. "The freaks always gotta blend in with the normal folk. Always gotta make our jobs a hell of a lot harder."

"Hate to be the bearer of bad news, Nancy Drew, but it did. I just found another one." Dean said. You furrowed your brow as you turned your attention over to the laptop screen to see what he was talking about. You asked him if it was another murder. "And a do-it-yourself heart bypass. Two days after this one."

“What part of Minneapolis?” You asked.

"The Iowa part." Dean said. "Ames."

“Well, Paul was here being questioned. There’s no way that could have been him.” You said in disbelief. You grabbed your phone and pulled up the location app and put in the city of the most recent victim. It would have only taken three hours to drive to Ames and another three to come back. But Paul would have had no time to make that commute while the police were all over him trying to get his statement.

"This guy was a cop. This is exactly what happened six months ago. Minneapolis, then Ames. Guess you missed that one, Sammy." Dean said. You rolled your eyes when he looked over at his little brother to make another jab at something you heard years before. Sam didn't seem so amused himself. "I'm just saying."  

You loved these boys with every fiber of your being, you really did. But sometimes they tested your patience. This was the exact same argument you remembered them having over and over again way back when you first started hunting with them, eight years ago. Sam wanted to have his normal and Dean tried to keep him hunting. You didn’t care what the boys wanted to do, long as they were happy doing it. That’s all that mattered to you. But neither one of them liked to do things like you. It was always about their big picture. So you kept your opinion to yourself.

You merely packed up the case file and slammed the laptop shut, gathering them together in your arms before turning around to head out the front door. You headed for the Impala, leaving the brothers to wonder what was making you so upset. They'd get it eventually. For now you'd let Dean's pettiness and Sam's constant need for a normal life continue on. You just wanted to figure out who the hell was ripping out people’s hearts.

+ + +

“Arthur Swenson. Real top-shelf officer. Twenty years on the force.” Deputy Levitt told you about your murderer the next morning in the Ames police station. You and the boys were sitting at the deputy’s desk while you listened to him retell the gruesome night. “He’d ordered a pizza, which the vic delivered. The vic didn’t make his next drop-off. His body was found on the walk in front of Swenson’s.”

“And he wasn’t hearing a heart?” Dean asked for clarification.

“No.” Deputy Levitt answered the man. “Heartless.”

"And, uh," Sam ignored his brother's smirk when he looked over at him when he doubted if this was the same kind of thing. It turned out that it very much was. "What about Swenson?"

"Crumpled up on the front stoop. Covered in blood, crying like a baby." The deputy told all of you, giving you a picture of what unfolded that night. Nobody just rips someone’s heart out and then starts feeling remorse for it. Unless they were forced to. "Ironically, he had been in court all week, testifying."

Deputy Levitt was pulled away from the conversation when one of the offices mentioned about a call waiting for him. You leaned over slightly in your seat when you noticed the deputy took the call, giving you a moment of privacy with the boys to speak about what you just heard. “So that couldn’t have been him in Minneapolis.” You whispered, your brow raising up at what this meant for all of you.

“I hate when this happens.” Dean muttered. The call lasted another moment before the deputy hung up, giving his full attention back to the three of you. “So, this Arthur guy, what does he have to say?”

"Uh...it's not real helpful." Deputy Levitt warned you for what you were about to see.

Arthur Swenson waited for all of you in the interrogation room after you asked to speak with the man to see what he had to say. You weren't sure what you were expecting, but what you walked into was up there in the strange department. You sat across from the man as Sam attempted to record the muttered words Arthur kept repeating. You watched as his fingers kept twitching while he had them folded on the table. He kept saying something underneath his breath with such intense and complete concentration. You narrowed your eyes on him in curiosity from what could have possibly made him this way.

“So, you getting his statement?” Dean asked his brother. He stood next to the iron bars to have a more clear and wider focus on the prisoner. But there wasn't much to see while Arthur kept repeating the same words and rocking back and forth slightly for the past few minutes

"Uh, yeah, kind of." Sam mumbled. "Probably not."

“It’s too bad I dropped out of Lunatic 101.” Dean said, knowing all of you weren't getting much help from the gibberish Arthur was repeating to himself over and over again.

“Whatever it is, it sounds like he’s repeating it.” You noticed. Arthur moved his gaze up slightly from the table so he was now looking up, but nowhere in particular. You furrowed your brow when you noticed something oddly strange about his appearance you didn't see very often in people. He had one blue eye, the other brown. "Guys, look at his eyes."

“Hey, Arthur…” Dean spoke up to the older man as he walked over to the table. He leaned over and placed his hands on the table to get at some eye level with him. “Did you do this alone?”

Arthur responded with the same muttered words. You decided to see if you might be luck at getting an actual answer out of him. “Arthur, did some invisible voice tell you you had to kill?”

You flinched slightly when Arthur slammed his fist on the table, rousing an emotion out of him for a split second before he went back to his whispered chanting. “Oh, now you pissed him off.” Dean said. You gave him a dirty look from his remark. He sat himself down on the edge of the table to try and do a little experiment on the man. “Hey, Art. Can I call you Art? Listen, I’m gonna sprinkle your arm with holy water, and it’s gonna steam and burn if you’re possessed by a demon.” Dean told the man,  Arthur didn’t seem to protest as he kept chanting. “He’s a mushroom.”

Dean twisted off the cap to the flask of holy water he kept on him for situations like this. He  poured out a small amount on Arthur, expecting a reaction out of him, but nothing. His skin didn't burn as he kept on chanting. You let out a sigh. "Okay, not possessed."

“Arthur, you want to tell us why you did this?” Dean questioned the man. Arthur sat up straight in his seat as he repeated his words in a bit of a louder tone before quieting down. The older Winchester nodded his head as he appeared to be listening intently, only he was growing angry at the lack of change in behavior. “Okay.”

You found yourself quietly chuckling in amusement when Dean pushed himself off the table and back on to his feet in defeat at the lack of any real answers. You looked back over at Arthur as he kept on repeating the words over and over again. Whatever they were, they seemed to be important to him. If only you could understand what the hell he was saying.

+ + +

Later that night you and the boys booked yourselves a motel room in town, thinking you might be here for a while. Your heels were abandoned by the door along with your blazer that was lying across a small desk not too far from there. You sat next to Sam on his bed while he played the recording of Arthur's soft mummers that you still couldn't stand. You still listened, in hopes that something like a word or the phrase might spark something to you.

"So, what do you think?" Sam asked the both of you, turning off the recorder.

"Personally, I prefer the Keith Richards version." Dean said. You quietly chuckled at his lame joke as he unpacked some of his clothing he was about to slip into before calling it a night.

"Can you actually understand any of the words?" You asked the older Winchester.

"If they are words. Sounds like babble to me." Dean said. The older man suddenly was struck with an idea when he pulled out his cell phone, thinking it might be of use for all of you. "Wait a second. I bought a translation app."

“You bought an app.” You had to repeat what you just heard, a smile spreading across your lips from how sort of comical it was “Says the guy who still uses cassette tapes in his car. Surprised you even know how to work that thing."

“Says the girl who couldn’t even figure out video chat. Here, play it.” Dean put his phone to the recorder as his brother hit the play button again, letting Arthur's incoherent rambles fill the room again. It went on for a few moments before Dean looked at his phone to see what the verdict was. "And babble wins. 'Language unknown.'"

“I’ll be damned.” You muttered, not all that shocked at the findings. You heard your very own cell phone go off, making you shove a hand inside the pocket of your black slacks to see who it was. You carried on the conversation with the person the other line. The boys noticed that your expression fell into a serious one as your brow furrowed, a few moments later you wrapped up the call. "You're not gonna believe this, but Arthur's in the hospital."

“What?” Sam asked. You could hear the surprise in his voice. “What happened.”

"Apparently our man of many words tried taking out his own eye. They want us down there." You said. You pushed yourself up to your feet and shoved your phone back into your pocket for safekeeping. Dean followed right behind you. But before he could waste the time in getting himself all done up again, you stopped him. "You know, I can do this on my own. It's late. I’m sure you two want to call it a night. Enjoy some brotherly time.”

Before either one of them could offer up the chance to take this opportunity to do this one on your own, you were up on your feet, snatching your blazer and slipping your heels back on. You grabbed the keys to the Impala and reassured Dean his precious Baby would be just fine. You left the two brothers alone for the next few hours, giving you a break for once from them. You kept reminding yourself you loved the boys, you really did. But sometimes they were too much for you to even handle. And for the first time since hearing about his death, you wished Bobby was here to help.

+ + +

The last time you saw Arthur Swenson he was at the police station, in a complete trance mumbling words you couldn’t quite understand, but he was alive. Now you stood in the hallway of the hospital, staring at him strapped down to a bed with bandages wrapped around his head, sedated for the moment. You crossed your arms over your chest from what could have possibly caused this. Arthur’s doctor, Dr. Kashi, stood by your side as the both of you discussed the matter of what made Arthur pluck his own eye out. “So, Dr Kashi, what are we looking at here,” You asked the doctor. “Some kind of psychotic break?” “Oh, definitely.” She agreed. “He was very thorough. Severed the optic nerve. He was determined to remove the eye.” “And he used, uh, what to cut with?” You wondered. Cells were frequently checked thoroughly by police for any sort of weapons that might hurt themselves or other. Arthur would have known this being a cop. But he also would know what to do to harm himself if he desperately wanted to. “He doesn't look strong enough, but he broke off part of the bed frame and used it as a knife.” Dr. Kashi said. You raised your brow in surprise as a nurse passed the both of you by, handing over a few files to the doctor before disappearing. “Wow. They should put warning labels on those beds.” You muttered. You winced at the thought alone of someone shoving something sharp into your eye. Let alone gathering the strength to rip off a metal piece of the bed frame with your bare hands. Either Arthur was the Incredible Hulk, or something possessed him to do it. “I noticed that he had two different-colored eyes.” “Yes. Apparently, he was in an accident where much of one eye was shattered. His vision was saved with a transplant.” Dr. Kashi said. You looked back over at the man and asked her when this was. She opened up the file on him and skimmed through a few pages before finding the bit of information. “A year ago, almost to the date. And, interestingly, it's the transplanted eye he chose to cut out.” “Really?” You muttered, finding this a bit interesting. And helpful for you. “Hey, let me ask you something, doc. Is it possible to trace the donor of a transplanted organ?” “Difficult.” Dr. Kashi said. “But possible?” You wondered.

The doctor smiled, answering your question. You returned the gesture before looking over at the sedated patient again. It’d been a while since you got to do research for a case. And what better way to start than hunting down Arthur Swenson’s doner after he carved out their lovely gift.

[Next Part]

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[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

Re: your tags on that jack/amara post. Now the show totally got me to like Jack rather instantly as well but I cant help but feel like it was too easy, his actions during s12 werent realy adressed imo, he didnt really earn the "family" TFW status to the degree the show is framing it for me and there wasnt the dubious moral complexity early in s13 like s12 was setting up. Idk does that make sense?

Yep, it makes total sense and I agree. When the first few episodes aired and Jack was obviously framed as a lovable innocent, I expected them to pull the rug under our feet at some point- not necessarily to make Jack ‘evil’ (that was clearly not going to happen) but to question assumptions and, well, make both the viewers, the characters, Jack himself question his actions and his goals and everything. It’s sort of like season 12 was like ‘is this thing evil....?’ and the twist was ‘lol no!’ but the twist came in like 2 minutes into the premiere or so. In Kaia’s episode, the twist was again that he did not kill Derek the dreamwalker...

Jack’s ‘darkness’ were mistakes. He accidentally killed the security guard when trying to stop a robber. He accidentally got soldiers killed when he made the wrong tactical choice in the war against Michael (it was revealed as wrong because of the Kevin trap, and a trap by definition... is hard to spot before you fall in it). Other things were naivety, which is not exactly darkness (naivety/innocence are potential for darkness, but the show didn’t really go ultra deep in that).

Every other main character has been through actual ‘darkness’. The Carver era in a nutshell was that - Dean’s, Sam’s and Cas’ darkness explored. Cas’ self-loathing and depression stemmed from his inability to belong, Sam’s unhealthy attitudes towards himself (the trials) and his brother (*waves around*), Dean’s lack of self-worth that turn him into a tool-weapon/the lock to the literal Darkness (insert billions of words of meta here).

The Carver era was about them messing things up royally to the point that we were supposed to think, are these people righteous? are they right? At times we were supposed to be horrified by their choices. Some people grew actually uncomfortable with the show because the main characters were... unlikeable. Not heroes.

But that was supposed to be the foundation for a new journey upwards - the release of the Darkness (I’m not going into the topic of when exactly they decided to make the MoC the lock-and-key for the Darkness) was supposed to symbolize the externalization of their own darknesses to deal with them.

I think Carver’s mistake was primarily one: making the Darkness solely about Dean. Sam remained in a weird limbo for most of the season, and for Cas they had to bring Lucifer into the picture as the narrative tool to represent Cas’ issues (corollary mistake: Lucifer). I think they should have managed to make the Darkness about all of them, in a way or another (they almost did so by having Dean carry the Mark and Sam and Cas undo it, but that second part got dropped). Of course, I understand why they’d do that - having the Darkness as the dark, irrational, feminine, destructive principle of the cosmos inevitably means she is aligned to Dean. But then they should have developed things so that Dean-Darkness and Sam-God, but God was finally introduced when the season was almost over and things needed to happen and it was late.

Oh jeez, talk about digressing...

I think I never let go of my post-season 10 finale expectations, because boy, I was excited. The season only partly met my expectations. *screams into the showrunners’ direction* I’m still waiting for my big witchcraft storyline, guys!

So, Carver era, inner darkness, outer Darkness. Main characters who SCREW UP BIG TIME. I mean... it was a bad decision for extra-diegetical reasons, and executed poorly, but Charlie’s death did make sense in that perspective. What’s more rock bottom than getting Charlie killed? It was supposed to be the horrifying, ‘oh shit’ version of Benny’s sacrifice. Benny had reasons to die, they got a beautiful goodbye, all made sense. But it was a slippery slope- and now Charlie dies, and it’s bad, it’s ugly, it makes no sense.

If Dante had written me into the Divine Comedy he would’ve put me in the circle of hell for digressers.

Anyway. Carver era, darkness.

And then seasons 12 and 13. They’re growing, so their mistakes are not as big and destructive as before. In fact, other people mess up more. Sam goes along with the BMoL because Mary made the mistake, and he just wants to connect with his Mom. Cas is trying to make up for letting Lucifer free and fails, because Crowley makes the mistake of keeping Lucifer around. Dean is there doing his best and getting slaps in the face, because his life sucks. His prayer to God in 13x01 is GOOD STUFF. Anyway. They still struggle with themselves and their traumas that prevent them from having healthy relationships (I’m not saying the Dabb era is bad, I am really enjoying things). Insert more meta here.

Now enters Jack, who is supposed to be a mirror of Dean, Sam and Cas. Where’s the darkness? WHERE’S THE FUNDAMENTAL POINT OF HORROR ABOUT HIS EXISTENCE aka his ambiguous and scary relationship with free will? Dean, Sam and Cas’ struggle is with FREE WILL. Always has been. Genuine choice against the determination caused by their traumas even before by external forces. Dean telling Amara and Chuck to reconcile represented that - refusing to go along with the determinism of their essences (creation and destruction) and choose their own path.

Jack... we’re technically told that he refuses to go along the determinism of his Satanic heritage, but that���s... not really true. He is much more framed as a blank slate than a creature with an evil essence in him. That’s what he fears, others fear (or hope in Lucifer’s case), but he’s never tempted by his own inner darkness. Lucifer almost tricks him eventually for a moment, but it’s a trick, something he achieves with lies and manipulation, not really reaching to Jack’s inner evil potential.

There was potential to make his story a horror story without making him evil or bad. Look at season 12 and the way he ambiguously uses people for, well, good purposes - saving Kelly, saving Cas. There was potential there! He has good intentions, and does things with good outcomes, but at the cost of messing up with people’s free will in an ambiguous, eerie way.

That’s it, he could have been EERIE. Sinister and terrifying because he’s lovable and has the best intentions... but also does disturbing things. Technically it sort of happened, but wasn’t really explored properly - see the analyses we made after 13x09 but that were never proved right or wrong. In fact, there was an element that rang bells at the end of the season - when he forces the truth about Maggie’s murder out of Lucifer. That was the final proof that Jack is perfectly able to annul someone’s free will completely. But what about the entire season prior, and even the time as a fetus? It just stays something in the mouth of a Dean whose grief is used to make him unreliable.

I guess the mistake here is not making Jack a new Amara, instead. As @awed-frog eloquently said, the two had a lot in common in their narratives, but then a lot completely divergent. Jack should have been about free will like Amara was, and how season 12 almost hinted at - like Amara made Dean’s free will compass go haywire, it seemed that proximity to Jack made Cas’ free will compass go haywire. But then Cas was dead and even when he came back, Jack’s story had been written in a complete different direction. They could have structured season 13 so that Jack was Sam’s Amara instead (it would have made sense to have Sam not deal with sexually-coded manipulation from a woman, since he already has that with Ruby in the past, and instead be something new and fresh for his character), if they wanted to make Jack and Sam’s narratives close, but at some point they’ve just made the decision to have Sam be the Real Dad in contrast to Lucifer’s biological fatherhood.

Basically, I think, they realized that they had to give Sam a strong narrative that placed him as the antagonist of Lucifer, so they kind of shoved Cas out of Jack’s narrative (with awkward results - um we’re supposed to be son and father but err what) and made the fatherhood narrative about Sam. With awkward results. Narratively, Sam And Cas Are A Kid’s Dads is... not really a brilliant idea.

Maybe Michael Dean is the result of the showrunners realizing that on paper giving narratives to Sam and Cas and not only to Dean (like Carver tended to do at times) is good, but in reality the show works best when things are about Dean, so now Let’s Have A Dean Centric Arc. I guess?

I haven’t really talked about the extradiegetic aspect of the strong pushing of Jack/Alex Calvert, but I don’t think there’s much to say about it. Fan reception was immediately super positive, and 28 year old Misha Collins clone is sort of a safe bet, you know? The network seems to believe that fans want young pretty white boys, and it’s not reaaaally like they got that idea out of their hat, you know?

[dustydreamsanddirtyscars]

9x17 “Mother’s Little Helper” // 9x18 “Meta Fiction” // 10x09 “The Things We Left Behind” // 13x09 “The Bad Place”

“On Scars and Trauma”: How Kaia loosely mirrors Dean’s MoC Struggle - Part I of II

“We all have our bad places, don’t we? The stuff we’re running from. The things that we try to blot out with drugs or drink. But we have to face it eventually, don’t we?“

- Therapist to Kaia in 13x09 “The Bad Place”

Trauma is the greek word for word for “wound/injury” and doesn’t that capture the essence perfectly? That a trauma is a never truly healing wound of the soul, an injury of the internal kind that in some cases leaves behind a physical scar. A scar that remains, a scars that never disappears and at best fades over time...

I have written a lot about scars, healing and trauma when it comes to Dean Winchester  over the past couple of years and especially so during Dean’s “MoC”-arc. While re-watching the latest episode again this morning without being too tired to keep my eyes open, there was a lot “hidden” within the episode that imo referred back to this difficult time in Dean’s life and how he never truly had the chance to heal from any of what have happened to him, but how all those traumas are still wounds that may not bleed anymore, but ar far from being scars that have faded into being a faint memory and not as visible any longer.

I have spoken a few times about how I always felt the mark removal “ripped” Dean of being able to heal ~naturally (I wrote a bout it last in this post not too long back, so in order to spare you from typing it all up agai, I’ll just leave a link to it here) and how in general the show has brought of course Dean’s multiple traumas back up here and there, but how ultimately the show never went as far as letting him truly heal. And this I found especially interesting to consider in relation to this episode, because I saw a lot of Dean’s struggle with the MoC in Kaia’s struggle against her “bad place”.

I think they paralleled and with that very subtlety addressed Dean’s own struggle very well with Kaia’s story. Starting with the general alignment of Kaia’s supposed “drug problem” as her way of trying to cope with what was happening to her. It aligns rather neatly not only just to Dean’s “way of dealing” as he earlier this season mockingly summed up with “bullets, bacon and a lot of booze”, which was his m.o. after returning from Hell or after they lost Cas in S7 or the beginnng of S13 where Dean has been shown to be absolutely at the end of his rope (and really, they may have gotten Cas back, but that doesn’t make Dean magically better) but also in how Dean’s MoC predicament has always been framed in relation to drug metaphors and drug addiction and how Dean - much like Kaia, who wakes up bloody - at some point was unable to know what’s real and what’s dream as was highlighted in 10x09 “The Things We Left Behind”.

In fact, even Kaia showing the scars from her dreamwalking on her right arm and not wanting to show or talk about them when her therapists urges her to open up (which Dean only does very rarely as well, but which would be vital for his healing process) as she overdosed immediately made me think back to the moment in S9 where Cas uncovers the mark on Dean’s arm and we have the O.D. flickering right behind Dean foreshadowing what dark, bad places Dean would go further down that season. Most importantly however, what to me makes a direct connection between Kaia’s and Dean’s stories is the fact how their situation is treated as either a “gift” by those who want to use their power or as a “curse”, which is rather how they see it themselves.

In that regard, I’d also like to mention how very much Jack’s description of “needing a seer”, because he could only “feel around” in the darkness, but not see and therefore chose Derek to help him, because “he could see what he saw”, because imo it echoes these words spoken by Crowley rather ominously and perfectly

and even more so also further opens up a direct line to Amara even, who was sort of operating through Dean as the mark, she “saw through Dean”, which brings me to the scene in which Kaia loses it and faces up to the hooded figure in the bad place - I assume it is her alter ego/her shadow self as Kaia was introduced as a hooded figure herself in the therapy scene - which takes over and channels her and actually saves her (also a direct callback to Charlie and Dark!Charlie imo, which was THE mirror to Dean in S10) by blasting the angels away. And that is also something we have seen with the mark - as well as Amara (she will always partially remain an embodiment of Dean’s own dark side that was externalized, but that he never had the chance to reintegrate into himself to become whole again) - both saved Dean in times of great danger.

Keeping all this in mind and how Dean’s own trauma and bad place with the MoC was followed and brought back up again throughout the episode, the moment in which Dean snaps when Kaia is not willing to co-operate and actually pulls a gun on her (I still find it OOC even though I can see how and what the show was implying with Dean acting that way in that moment) and yells at her with his eyes hard, fits in perfectly with how short tempered Dean got when he bore the mark. So to me looking at the scene in that light, Kaia’s story culminated here with Dean’s own by almost bringing Dean back to that “dark place” - which is btw a vital line from S10 when Dean talks to Cole. He talks about “dark places”, which also echoes the “bad place” in this week’s episode too - by making Dean appear as “on edge” as he was at times while bearing the mark. The important thing however is - and which was one more sign of many showcasing Dean’s emotional maturity and self-awareness is his apology to her later in the episode.

All that being said, if I had the faith in the current set of writers and showrunners as I had in Carver I’d be optimistic that all of this would lead somewhere and would foreshadow a re-examination of the MoC as one of the many traumas Dean suffered to finally help him and let him heal, because to me it seems what may be vital for Kaia - facing up to her “mirror/dark self” in the bad place - is just as vital for Dean. The MoC struggle however wasn’t the only thing addressed and explored in relation to Dean’s traumas, there was another huge aspect explored, but more on that in the second part. :)