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everybodyscupoftea · 3 years

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rockin around the christmas tree

pike jj x reader

you and jj decorate your first apartment together

this is in the future when you and jj are in nashville :)

(warnings: cursing, implied drinking, very very little editing)

At the words, “I’ve never really decorated a tree before,” you knew immediately that you were going to go all out for JJ. You knew his childhood wasn’t great and that he didn’t really experience it in college either with living in the dorm and then the frat house, but you didn’t consider that meant he’d never really done the tree and lights shebang.

Over the month of November you started gathering up random decorations, here and there, that you thought could fit in your apartment without being a nuisance. One afternoon you convinced your mom to drive over from your hometown with some of your favorite ornaments and decorations from childhood.

She loved JJ and was plenty happy to part with them for his sake. You made sure all the bags and boxes were put away in the second bedroom and made a promise with yourself to not tell him until after Thanksgiving.

Then you got slammed with paper after paper and quiz after quiz which led you to truly forget about everything until you went in there to make sure things were all clean for guests and tripped over a box full of lights.

“Ow, fuck!” you yelped, looking down to see what you’d hit, stomach dropping when you saw it all and heard JJ coming to see what was wrong. Before he could quite get to the door, you waved him away, “All good, just stubbed my toe.”

He backed away, hesitantly, toward the kitchen where he’d been cutting the turkey for dinner. Cody and Tyler were coming into town, and you were doubly excited that they were staying the night so that you could rope them into putting up the once forgotten decorations.

Just as you finished pushing everything out of the way and clearing off the bed, there was a knock at the door. JJ called from the kitchen, “Can you grab that, sweetheart, I’m almost done with the turkey?”

“Got it,” you yelled back, practically skipping to throw the door open for your friends you hadn’t seen outside of FaceTime in months. As soon as you threw the door open, Cody, who was closest, was pulling you into a tight hug, face pressed firmly into your hair. He sighed, “Damn, smell the same, kinda nice.”

You snorted, squeezing back, “That was soft.”

“Forgive me,” he answered sarcastically, “I just missed you is all.”

“Move,” Tyler interrupted before you could respond, elbowing Cody out of the way to hug you. You hugged back just as tight before grabbing both of them by the arms to pull them inside.

“JJ is finishing up the food, so I’ll give you guys a tour real quick and you can drop your stuff in the guest bedroom.”

“Sweet,” Cody nodded, “though I’m not sure how I feel about JJ being in control of the food.”

“Let him have it, I need to tell you guys something.”

They followed you around the whole place and ended in the second bedroom where you shut the door, Tyler smirked, “Getting us alone to pitch a foursome?”

You blinked, not prepared at all, “I-” after a few seconds gathered your thoughts, “no, I just wanted to know if you guys needed to be anywhere early tomorrow or if you could help us decorate for Christmas. JJ never has before, so I thought it could be a fun family activity.”

Before you even finished, Cody, who loved Christmas and decorating for it was nodding eagerly, “Oh fuck yeah. I’m so down. Is that why this room is so messy? Christmas decorations.”

You snorted, “Please, I haven’t forgotten how messy y’all are, I spent so much time in that disaster of a dorm room.”

Tyler waved you off, “We’re much better now.”

“I’m sure,” you answered sarcastically.

“I am, my girlfriend whipped me into shape,” Cody told you, “our apartment looks so dope.”

“Yeah, because your girlfriend has her shit together and a Pinterest board.”

Tyler snorted, “True, you have no eye for interior design.”

Cody rolled his eyes as JJ yelled for everyone to come eat. The four of you sat around the small table you and JJ found on sale with plates heaped full of food. Before anyone could take a bite, you cleared your throat, “Okay, everyone share their lists.”

A tradition the four of you started in college was to share at least three things each person was thankful for before eating whatever you’d managed to put together for dinner, usually takeout because no one was thankful for cafeteria food and the shitty dorm kitchen.

“I’ll go first,” Tyler started, “I’m thankful for the Sixers finally playing well, my girlfriend for getting me a new job, and for you guys having a nice enough apartment to play host.”

“Wait wait wait,” JJ held his hand up, “your girlfriend got you a job?”

Tyler shrugged, “I figure if I play my cards right and don’t fuck anything up, when she finishes law school and has a nice job, I can become a trophy husband. I’ll be supportive as fuck and the best arm candy on the planet.”

You snorted and said, “Okay, poor Emma first of all. It’s my turn though. I’m thankful for my therapist, she’s really done a lot of heavy lifting this fall, I’m thankful for JJ not burning the building down while cooking, and I’m thankful for you guys driving to see us because my separation anxiety was getting pretty bad and my poor therapist needs a break.”

Cody gave you a thumbs up, “Live to serve. My turn, I’m thankful for Liverpool sucking ass this season, I’m thankful that my girlfriend is good at everything I’m bad at because I’m pretty sure I’d have died by this point, and I’m thankful that you guys live somewhere interesting enough that I want to come visit.”

“Okay, me last,” JJ started, “I’m thankful for you guys being here even though it was kind of an inconvenient trip, I’m thankful for my boss for giving me a holiday bonus, and I’m thankful to finally get to spend a holiday in my own space. A safe space.”

Cody and Tyler, both great with emotion, held out fists for him to bump and then started eating.

“Okay,” you clapped your hands, startling JJ awake the next morning, “it’s noon, we’ve slept off most of the hangover, and now we have shit to do.”

“What?” he asked, voice cracking, as he rubbed his eyes.

“It’s Christmas season, we have to decorate.”

JJ groaned, “Shopping? While I feel like this? No.”

“No need to shop, I have it all. Now get up, get dressed, and let’s do this.”

Tyler was already up when you walked out of the bedroom, and he waved, “I ordered breakfast but couldn’t find your coffee pot. Cody is sorting through the decorations, did you have a tree?”

“Yeah, I have one in the closet, we always did a real tree at home, but I figured we should start small and see how it goes.”

“Good plan. I think Cody has a Christmas playlist ready. He’s so excited, could barely sleep.”

He followed you to the kitchen and leaned against the door frame while you made coffee. You chuckled, “Yeah, I know how much he loves Christmas. I’m honestly kind of surprised we never did a group decorating thing like this before.”

“Well,” Tyler crossed his arms, “we did the small trees in the dorm, but JJ didn’t want to buy one for himself so it didn’t really count. And then decorating the frat house was just not worth the effort.”

You passed him a mug and he took a sip while you answered, “JJ never really seemed super interested either. I mean I was going to keep it chill this year too but he brought it up.”

“Cody said you had a whole bunch of homemade stuff.”

“Yeah, my mom brought it to me. I was thinking of making JJ do some of the ornaments to make it even but I’m not sure he’d go for that.”

Tyler snorted, “Man’s a simp, he’d do it for you.”

“Who’s a simp?” Cody asked, walking into the kitchen to take the second mug.

“All three of you,” you told him, grabbing the creamer out of the fridge for him.

He took a sip and shrugged, “Yeah, true. But who are we discussing in particular now?”

“JJ. Whether he’d made homemade ornaments,” Tyler responded.

“He definitely would,” Cody nodded, “I would too. Is that on today’s agenda?”

“It is not. But I mean, if you guys want to make us some in the future and mail them, I’ll gladly hang them on the tree.”

“Deal.”

“What’s the deal?” JJ asked, finally joining the rest of you.

“Nothing, drink some coffee and we’ll decorate.”

After the food arrived and everyone ate, Cody did in fact have a Christmas playlist queued, and he hooked it up to the speaker to blast in the living room. Tyler strung lights around, and JJ told you, “We should just keep these up after Christmas.”

By the time the two of you had struggled to get the tree put together and in a good spot, you added, “Maybe we don’t take the tree down either. We can just decorate it for every holiday.”

Tyler laughed, “Don’t be those guys.”

“We will,” JJ vowed, “we will absolutely be those guys. I just broke a sweat.”

“I will come back for New Years and start a riot if the tree is still up. You laugh like I’m joking, but I will,” Tyler told the two of you.

Cody was barely paying attention, reaching up to put an ornament on the tree when you stopped him, “JJ has to put the first one up.”

JJ gave you a weird look, “What? Why?”

“Bro,” Tyler told you, “lowkey this is a foursome.”

“No, it’s so not.”

“But, it kinda is. We’re taking JJ’s Christmas tree decorating virginity.”

“That’s so-” JJ paused, “okay the logic works a little but I don’t like it.”

“I hate you all,” you groaned, handing JJ an ornament and gently shoving him toward the tree.

“You don’t,” Cody singsonged from his spot across the room.

When everything was done, Cody turned all the lights off in the room and JJ plugged the tree in. Tyler flipped all the lights he’d put out on and the four of you stood in the doorway to take it all in.

JJ sighed, “Kinda love it. It’s going to be such a pain to take down, but it feels good.”

“A good family decorating day,” Cody added, “next year we’ll make ornaments.”

You laughed, “Sure.”

Wrapping his arms around your waist from behind, JJ hummed, “Gonna miss our Christmas this year.”

Tyler looked a little teary eyed, “Yeah, we can FaceTime though.”

“Are you crying?” Cody asked incredulously.

“It’s the hangover,” Tyler denied, wiping his eyes.

Cody rolled his eyes, “Sure it is. I’m gonna miss you guys too.”

“Group hug,” you said, holding your arms out. For the first time in a while and the last time for an even longer while, you hugged your boys close. You sniffled, pulling back, “Bring your girlfriends next time. They’re always welcome too.”

They nodded and left after one more hug. JJ and you sat on the couch, soaking in the sudden silence. You leaned into his side and he wrapped an arm around your shoulder, “Movie, sweetheart?”

“Please,” you answered, “Home Alone.”

day four of @obxmermaid‘s holiday challenge: decorating the tree

#pike!jj #jj maybank #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank x you #jj maybank fic #outer banks #outer banks fic #obxmermaidholiday #frat!jj

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gammacousin · 3 years

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Okay. I’m ready to real talk Black Widow. I don’t want to but as an activist there’s an obligation I have to share and educate. I nerd to forget but I suppose it shows the power of this movie if it brings something real into the light.

*Spoiler Warning. Trigger warning for everything.*

There are some things I want to say that could potentially spoil aspect of the Black Widow film. I also would advise you to skip this post if you have a darker past, if you aren’t interested in getting serious, or wish to skim by, I’m sincerely not judging! I come on here to avoid the universe as well. You do you, I totally still love you if you don’t read this and want to move onto something nerdy or more fun. This isn’t the post for you.

It’s taken me a while to process and organize my thoughts. Skip if you don’t want to hear deep, raw stories.

Okay. Nerd review first.

The level of girl power and any and all glass ceilings… There is SO much left to do. So much that needs to still be addressed. But seeing 3 women run this show: Yelena, Natasha, and Melina was an absolute joy to observe. This isn’t the end of some hard waged war, it’s the beginning and I beg you; Disney/Marvel. Please give us more of this? It’s so important for young girls to see other girls kicking butt and winning. Quick summary of nerd feelings; Losing Nat still burns. Yelena is a boss.

Okay…Real talk.

I have to get a little deeper here now. My personal story absolutely played into how I felt about this film and I wish I saw some trigger warnings about the material covered. Do I know Black Window’s story? Yes. In and out. I can read it, I can write my FF on it. However. Little to no one knows my story and so absolutely no one is to blame for not warning me. I was not expecting to come out this shook.

I’m sharing this because it’s happening now, today. In the real world. I doubt the film makers had this mind over other social issues, but after feeling like it’s irrelevant, that my pain is somehow less than, I’m realizing through my activism it’s not.

I grew up in a cult where women are not relevant. You matter up to a point. You are useful, to a point. If you’re giving 24/7, you’re not giving enough. If you’re not smiling as you’re doing cult stuff, you’re complacent. In addition to why I’m about to share, my house growing up was not a safe space which is a story for another time. So it’s a stack…this janga-ish game that eventually just comes crashing down.

My trigger started moments after the film started the handing over of the kids. When Alexei chooses the job over the welfare of the girls. Alexei put his two “daughters” in danger to save ‘face’. To put the job ahead of two children…it hit home. In the group I’m from, fathers, mothers, grandparents, siblings will absolutely choose the group over blood. You are nothing and you mean nothing if you ‘defect’. If you break a rule. If you complain. If you say ‘no’. If you put in a bad review for a leader, if you have anything bad at all to say about the organization as a whole. You can confide something deep in someone you trust and it absolutely will come back to hurt you.

The title song shook me completely. This collage of video and images of brainwashing, treating these girls like absolute objects is disgusting in itself. But when you’re raised in this other world, there’s a level of brainwashing that is absolutely unmatched. Videos, books, quizzes, 12 hour lectures, weekly meetings.

People are unified to the point where you lose your own identity. There’s a language- a literally language- words you start to misuse. Verbiage only people in the cult use. Kids of any age will watch any rated film. Frequently the themes are about obedience and or cooperation and the consequences if you do not cooperate/obey. Death is a such a common theme that either you become petrified of your own shadow, petrified of breathing wrong, or turn completely numb. In sharing these videos, the goal is to instill this fear that you will never be enough. That you will die- turn into a charred hot dog of a figure if you do not obey 8 white men - the leaders, in New York. That your friends, classmates, neighbors, family will die if they don’t believe what you do. That you’re held accountable if you can’t bring them to your side.

The song for the credits hit me. I cannot listen to it. I have no idea what it was about.

When I watched the film, I couldn’t focus at this point at gosh barely 15 minutes in. I had already checked out. I heard keywords. “Entertainers,” “I feel stupid and contagious…”

In my world, I did not matter. What mattered was, what was presented to the public. To your group. Meeting some checklist of this perfect family at any cost. You’re not an individual, you’re a number. Literally. Your records are documented by men in the back room- your actions, your track record. But ultimately? You’re part of a numeral equation reported to headquarters. And if you’re a woman, you do not have a say in how you look, dress, act or in what you say. You are as the title song says, …“Entertainers”. You smile. You do your job, and you are ‘happy’ about it. Your job is to dedicate x amount of hours cleaning the room you gather in, and in recruitment of other members…

There’s a ‘job’ in the cult called a “pioneer”. Okay. No, we might not have been trained assassins. But you are trained to manipulate emotionally. To prey on the weak. You get books, magazines, movies, speeches, lectures- you rarely get a free Saturday. Oh and the job isn’t paid. So make sure you’re working (part time because full time secular work isn’t acceptable) at a desk job (because college and getting an education is not allowed). Don’t make friends with the people who work with you, they’re out to get you. Back at the club; You answer questions like it’s some schoolastic quiz every week and quote what your reading. It’s a brainwashing tactic. If you say something enough times, you remember it. You start to believe it. You spend hours reading these things, training… Your job is to target people who have lost- and have lost a lot because they’re vulnerable. You learn to go to cemeteries, and literally stalk people who are grieving. Like Val. If you can catch someone when they’re weak, senses are dulled. They’re desperate. And you bait them with this false promise. This idea that all THEY have to do is change all that they are, join you, and they’ll see their dead loved ones again. That they are doomed if they don’t change. Most pioneers draft 2-4 people per lifetime. If you’re a great saleswoman, you can draft more into this horrific world. And I regret the hours I spent lying, torturing people. For some cult that doesn’t give two cents about me.

I 100% believed of I didn’t convince my classmates, neighbors, to join my side they would either turn me in or they would be killed by a divine being. From 2 years old I was supposedly handing out pamphlets. The doom is not a quick painless death, no. You have visuals. You have men getting up to talk in detail about what your ‘friends’ will look like as corpses. Visually descriptive to the point where I still feel a bit numb to it all. That you will have to bury their bodies after the whole divine destruction. That you will have to “clean up” the earth. You are numb- convinced- bullied to the point where you believe this is true.

If you’re hurt as MANY WOMEN AND CHILDREN ARE, and you don’t have two people to testify and say they saw it- it never happened. Abuse is the norm. And if you speak up about it? You’re called a liar. Your friends cut you off. They think you’ll die along with everyone else if you put in a ‘bad review’ or leave. You’re bullied into submission and taught from a young age that you are not in control of your own decisions. You relinquish yourself under the pretense that the men you have such reverence toward are under some divine being’s control.

Your parents hurting you is acceptable. And don’t you dare speak against your father if he’s deeply involved. Don’t even think about approaching if he’s on a phone call. If you’re hit you take it- because you “deserved” it. And you smile. You shove that pain deep down. You hide the bruise, the cut lip, the depression, the bottles of pills you’re swallowing the whatever….You’re screwed if you faint, throw up, pass out, because you’ve missed a meeting. You better be dying for that to happen…

The idea that is portrayed in the movie (IMO) is that you can forgive family who hurts you. I see people forgiving Alexei and what’s her name. Look- that’s great. It’s a fun film. Alexei is funny. Here’s what I saw; it’s a toxic man- nay- father who can’t accept responsibility. He takes pride in what the girls have become- monsters. Not in who they are at their core. He has no idea who they are. And the mom has this photo album…I’m tearing up. She remembers this a certain way, a wishful thought. I’ve confronted my own mother about our past and had an album thrown at me, “We were happy. You were happy.” The fact is I was told the smile. You’re forcing this perception that everything was normal. That it’s okay to go back. (I’m not taking away Yelena’s view that everything was real to her, that’s fine for the sake of the story, and sweet. The moment between her and Alexei..fine. Milena turns and takes their side at the end, great.) The problem with how I saw this, is that’s not how the real world works. I don’t owe my parents forgiveness when I didn’t mean shit to them. When people leave the cult they’re cut off. Treated like they’re dead. I didn’t find these moments cute, I found them horrific. Hugging me, saying he’s proud of me is the toxic sh** my father would pull. Ignoring the holes in the wall, in my skull, the phony impression he gives to the rest of the group. Hugging me…after sweeping everything he did not only to me, but countless others under the rug because the cult…because 8 men in NY will protect him. Legally. Or otherwise.

I don’t need to forgive my parents. If you’ve been mistreated, you don’t owe anyone anything. They can “try” to do the right thing, that doesn’t somehow block out years of mistreatment. Years of trauma. Sheetrock only patches the surface of the broken walls. Wounds heal but some scars stay with you forever. Metaphorically or otherwise.

‘Entertainers’ was a trigger word because if you’re high enough in the ranking system you’re asked to “testify” or share a story. It’s in front of a couple thousand. It’s an “honor”. What it really is, is a three ring circus. You will only see women on the sidelines reading from the cards while only men stand at the main podium. They’re reading what they have told them to say. Stories are manipulated, cut, changed to fit a narrative that better suits the group of a couple thousand members.

Dreykov. I hate this. But I have to go there. I’m neck deep already, might as well. I think the worst part of all of it is that you can’t touch the person who made you this way. Those 6-7-8 leaders are untouchable. It doesn’t matter what you try. What legal entities, ex groups have tried. There’s a term for us and we are considered ‘mentally diseased.’ Members are told to avoid us. And in case you were curious, no, they can’t just break their nose on a table to be free- if only it were that simple. Gosh that got me. I would cut a limb, split my skull open, if it meant I could just cut a chord. It takes years of therapy and I still have nightmares. Urges to just, go. I’m OKAY. But most escapees are not. If you manage to escape with your life and don’t end it because the pressure, guilt, abuse that comes with leaving is too much. (This is sadly the fate of MANY LBGTQ+ members.)

The only hope is either the group eventually runs out of money or they’re taken down legally. Both of which are impossible since many older members will leave all they have to the group rather than to their family. It’s a complex billion dollar publishing company that plays monopoly with people’s investments, homes, and lives.

If you speak up, you’re the liar. So you cannot free your friends, who have turned on you, already cut you off, and discarded you the day you walked out and didn’t come back.

Watching Natasha, and Yelena free their sisters made me think of every woman who is stuck in this cult. For every woman, child, currently being sexually/physically abused and can’t say sh** because they literally believe god will kill them. If I say anything to them, they block me. If I expose what’s happening they will lie in court. That’s what is happening. And it’s not in the news, it’s not talked about. Because you can’t. You’re forced into silence. There’s a block. A literal legal force field that you cannot penetrate. They have their own lawyers. You can’t break into it. You’ll lose every, single, legal battle you try to fight.

Was this a decent movie? Yes. Was I expecting to share this days after release, no. I’ve been forced into silence for so long, told that people have it far worse and that I shouldn’t talk about it. But just today I saw a grown ass couple in an escapee group, talking about how one trigger word sent them into a depressive spiral. Wondering if some god damn lightening will come out of the sky and knock them dead. And we frickin struggle in silence. People will just shrug and go “oh it can’t be that bad,” while my gay best friend can’t catch an effing break. While someone else suffers at home because god wants it that way. Someone else will bury their kid today, maybe not even hold a funeral for them if they were ‘mentally diseased.’

For people like that couple I met today, like me, if you don’t just see a fun film but a darker past or maybe it’s brought up some memories for you, I’d honestly love to chat!!! Message me! I feel like for as painful as this is to hash out not too many people know about what goes on behind a group of smiling, well dressed woman who come knocking on your door. “It’s just a religion.”

I guess I didn’t realize…the criminal aspect of what happened to me. You’re so ingrained to keep quiet. To smile. To ignore, to suppress. I can smile, joke laugh, but visualizing…inadvertently seeing this mirror was so unbelievably uncomfortable. I would always rather help someone else because it takes me out of my head. Live in a bubble where I can call my trauma a ‘fantasy’. What’s real is when someone like me has a bad day? Lol! Look, my husband literally checks his phone to make sure a conversation never touches a couple hundred trigger words that will absolutely send me into the closet with a gallon of ice cream or a bottle of whiskey. I can’t imagine what someone else, what some other traumatized individual goes through. (Maybe that’s why the Bucky stuff makes me all angry She-Hulk too..)

Look, talking people ex members of this group, out of suicide is a daily endeavor to the point where it’s borderline on autopilot. But having this, I suppose, brilliant, piece of cinema turn the camera around left me raw and writhing and angry. Not for me, but for everyone else still stuck. With every year you spend in that cult, add ten more to therapy.

If you feel like me at all, you’re not alone. Not anymore. We were raised to feel alone in the world. That the universe is somehow out to get us and that’s simply not true. You don’t need the people who raised you if they were absolute shit bags. And you DO NOT have to forgive them for keeping you in that environment. Family isn’t family if they’ve hurt you. You owe them nothing. It is healthy to feel your feelings (and you and your feelings are valid. )

Anyways! I hope to be able to talk about more fun Marvel topics soon. But this felt important so thanks for listening. I’m really not hating guys, this is just…it’s heavy. And I beg you to do your research into cults and to help out where you can.

Love and light,

-M

#black widow film #black widow #cult #cult life #cult escapee #ex jw #apostate #mcu #jw #jwfamily #jwfacts #marvel

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painted-crow · 3 years

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Submission Time #12

Another submission from me! I’d meant to put in answers from the quiz… or really, my perpetual arguments with the quiz. But then I got distracted by writing out my thoughts and forgot to do that.

Oof, I’m afraid I don’t know who you are just from this–you sent it in with anonymous on! Hopefully that’s okay.

I get different answers from the quiz at different times. Last time I took it in earnest, stoned out of my mind, I came up Snake/Snake. This time I intentionally hatstalled to get as many questions as I could.

If this is too many words on top of too many words… I am sorry.

I see that lol! I appreciate that there is no lack of information here 😉

However, this post as it came in was VERY long, even by my standards, and for the sake of readability I've done 2 things:

1) Switched to desktop long enough to put in a cut. It broke the blue color I usually put over my replies in order to make these easier to skim, but I'm not putting it back because it's kind of a huge pain to redo.

2) Trimmed out some of the question/answer pairs. You have plenty, so although I read them all, I just kept those I deemed most relevant. I also skipped a few where my responses would have been repetitive. Just an editing decision I hope you'll be okay with.

That said, let's get on with the Sorting.

Primaries

• If people in your family or community disagree with you, is it hard to act against their wishes?

I’m not sure that I have a community, but yeah, if my SOs think something is a bad idea, I’ll listen and consider. I’m more likely to be the person disagreeing with and trying to convince someone else, though. Also, sometimes it’s plain easier to go along with things to keep life smooth. But if it was something important… I think I’d have to go with what I think is right, regardless of disagreement. I’ll listen to others, maybe I’ll change my mind, but I won’t not do a thing JUST because of the disapproval of my family.

Suggests internal primary, Lion or Snake.

• What’s your top priority?

I kind of hate this one because I want to answer all three. I want to make the world a better place for the sake of me and mine, and that’s one of my goals. Not one I imagine I can accomplish, but it’s something that matters. My kid will probably see a pretty rough world in the future and I wish I could do something to alter that, beyond trying to be an ethical consumer as much as I can.

This answer feels very grounded and practical. I want to say it feels Liony, partly out of process of elimination but mostly because it just does.

• When you’re making a decision and you’re stuck, what should you do?

Idk, panic? No, not really. I seek advice if relevant, don’t if not, seek out any information I can, think about it… make a decision… and proceed to worry about that decision for the next millenia because what if it wasn’t the right one? I usually go with my my gut choice but 1) sometimes I have to go hunting for that, and by sometimes I mean a lot, and 2) I still research the hell out of it.

The way you’ve answered this says more about your secondary than your primary, imo. You might be a Bird secondary.

• Do you listen to your intuition?

I’d like to, but I don’t trust it. I’m too afraid of everything.

Ooh, interesting. It’s worth noting, people who write to me are often Burned at least somewhat, because Burned Houses are always harder to sort; everyone reacts differently to trauma and comes up with different coping mechanisms. Wonder if you’re an at least somewhat Burned Lion who’s pivoted into Snake, perhaps because it fit with your old value set.

• Someone points out a flaw in your logic. Their argument makes sense, but there’s something about it that just bothers you. Do you change your ways because of what they said?

This one always bothers me. It’s not a thing that happens to me often, but I can’t understand not changing your mind in this situation. If someone points out that you’re wrong… well… you’d better go look into that, hadn’t you? Maybe because I’m constantly seeking to understand myself, and I don’t and that frustrates me, but… I don’t know. I agree with and disagree with all the answers.

This seems Bird at first glance, but it seems you’re too conflicted about it to be straight up unburned Bird (and Burned Birds are usually easier to spot because they tend to be wrapped up in the problem/s they’re struggling with). You might have a model or performance, too early to say.

That line about being frustrated that you don’t understand yourself is also a good hint toward an Idealist primary.

• Does disagreeing with your closest friends about something important to you make you love them less?

No, but I might think less of them, and I will probably argue my points at them in the future. Sometimes I change their mind, sometimes they change mine. I turned my SO into a social liberal, he caused me to adjust my stance on gun control. There’s always give and take.

Sounds healthy. That model’s sounding a bit more likely here. I’d be very curious if you turned out to be a burned Lion who actually had a healthy Bird model–that would be rare o.o

• What if everyone you loved left you? They betrayed you, abandoned you, or died, and you’re hurting. What keeps you moving forward?

This question makes me want to tear my hair out, because those are all different things.

If everyone I loved died, I would probably have a massive breakdown, spend a year laying in bed, and then use whatever money I inherited or insurance payouts I got to go try and live the life I’ve always vaguely wanted, traveling. I wouldn’t seek out relationships but I imagine I would, eventually, form new connections. It would hurt, but I would rebuild.

If they abandoned me, or betrayed me, which is… kind of the same, I guess, because abandoning me without cause is a betrayal… well, I would probably be confused, and angry, and curl into a ball and want to die, and then turn into a lifelong curmudgeon the likes of which I swore I’d never be. It would hurt, and I would probably be loathe to trust again.

This doesn’t feel Loyalist, at least.

• What if you realized that absolutely everything you thought was true was wrong? The authorities you’d trusted, the beliefs you’d held, the wrongs you’d fought against?

Another that trips me up. I doubt someone is ever going to convince me that punching down, bullying, or causing unwarranted harm is good. I don’t trust any authority without cause anyway, and I trust no authority to be right on every topic. I trust NASA about space but I’d be more interested in what the forestry service has to say about ecology, in a silly example. I’m not religious so I don’t have any authorities there. My parents were authorities once but it turns out they’re human and sometimes wrong, so…. I feel like I don’t know how to answer this question, because I can’t fathom what someone could tell or convince me of that would be that kind of a gut punch?

So, you don’t really have a system per se, but you do have a set of core ideals. You could call this a Bird model (and… a really healthy one if it is?) or you could call it partially unburned Lion.

• You can’t help everyone in the world who needs it, but you wish you could.

Nah, it would be nice to help everyone and I’m down to eat the rich and redistribute wealth and I firmly believe the point and purpose of society is to care for its populace, so definitely the world should be designed better to make sure everyone has a fair chance at what they want…but it’s not my responsibility to fix it for everybody, nor am I capable of it. I can do a small part, and I try to, but I’m not the savior of humanity.

I think we’ve established you’re not a Badger, although Badgers don’t always fall into this trap.

• You’ve changed your mind about an old belief or moral stricture that you used to value. You got new information and you’ve tried to update your way of thinking, and you think (hope?) you’re a better person for it. Do you feel guilty about the old belief you’ve abandoned?

Do I feel guilty for abandoning it? Not if I realized it was wrong! Do I feel guilty for having had the belief? Sometimes. I was raised in an unthinkingly classist household, and I still feel bad about my instinctive assumptions about people. I’ve worked on it a lot and unpacked a lot of shit, but I was definitely an ass and I regret that.

You have a lot of healthy Bird happening. I’m starting to wonder if your Lion is the model.

If you are a Bird primary, you’re one who builds your system much more than one who adopts it. You also seem very confident in your own perceptions, not unwilling to change but not impressionable.

When it comes to less major parts of your ideals, such as the gun control thing you adjusted your stance on, do you feel satisfied after puzzling things like that out? Or do you kind of hate that you need to?

• The next one is “If I’ve decided to stand by the people I love, it’s a choice. I could make a different decision.” Vs “At the end of the day, some things are right and some things are wrong. You don’t turn your back on the people you love.”

And my problem with that is… both. It is a choice, I could, theoretically, make a different one. But I don’t think it would be right to do so. I think that I would have to have an overwhelming reason to turn my back on my people. Someone cheating one me, or coming to hold beliefs antithetical to me (like if one of my SOs suddenly went TERFy or something), yeah, I would probably turn away, but it would hurt. But it’s still a choice I’ve made, either way.

I don’t think you’re a Snake.

• When you sit down and consider the terrifying lack of objective truth in our reality, how do you feel?

But what is truth? Does this mean truths about the universe, reality, physics, etc? I surely believe there is objective truth and structure there, though I doubt if humanity can discover it all. We are clever little apes, but its a big, weird universe.

Does it mean moral, philosophical truths? Moral relativism all the way babe! I mean, I’m an atheist, and I dont believe there’s one objective truth out there laid down by something supernatural, and I think it has to be something everybody comes to on their own as an accumulation of life experiences. I’ve got a few core things I think are important and the rest just… flows. I went with “the model in our heads is good enough,” because we’ve all got to settle for that in the end, I suppose.

It’s an interesting question and none of the answers quite fit for me. I think part of my trouble with the quiz is how abstract the questions are. “Do you like shortcuts?” Well, I dont know, quiz, what on earth is the CONTEXT? I understand why it’s written that way, but I do wish it was a bit more choose-your-own-adventure, handing me scenarios instead of philosophical abstraction.

You could be a Bird primary.

• When you’re not sure what’s the right thing to do, what do you turn to?

Research, and talking to my people, and then I think about it a bit. Or I just go with my gut and try to figure it out later. Either way I will spend a lot of time thinking about it, either trying to choose or trying to parse the choice I made.

Yeah, you might have to puzzle out which of these is the model yourself. This is a pretty subtle distinction. @wisteria-lodge and I both have posts about this. The appropriate tags on my blog are #ravenclaw primary and #gryffindor primary –if you can get Tumblr to function as intended (mobile search is very very flaky), those should get you the info you want, along with lots of accounts from other people Sorting themselves.

I’m starting to lean towards Bird for you, actually. But again, this is one pair that can be hard to tell apart, and sometimes it gets harder the closer you look at it. Maddening.

• Would you feel worse abandoning a stranger in need or turning your back on your closest friend?

Another one where I want context. If we’re talking identical scenarios – say, they’re drowning – I’d save my friend over someone else, except for maybe a small child… maybe? Honestly I’d probably try to save both and end up dying. But I do prioritize and I’d help my friend over a stranger, sans specific extenuating circumstances on the part of said stranger.

Once again, I don’t think you’re a Snake. I think you’re a Lion with loyalty baked into your intuition, or a Bird who’s picked up some Snakey philosophy.

• After spending some time trying to decide between two options, you are convinced that A is the right thing to do. The people around you, though, are just as convinced that it’s B. How do you feel?

Like I haven’t explained well enough, because they’re not getting why my opinion is the best one. Seriously though, it would make me wonder if I missed something, and I’d probably spend more time talking and researching to compensate. On the other hand… context… am I choosing colleges here (yes, folks, give me your input!) or whether or not to get an abortion (where I would value the input of those directly connected to me, but in the end it’s 100% my choice and those who disagree can eff off.)

When you’re choosing a college, you’re making a tactical decision, not a moral one. Gathering information from others is a Bird secondary thing: you’re doing research.

When you’re making a moral decision, that’s where your primary is involved, and here your answer is strongly Lion.

[I’m skipping a few of the next questions because they don’t give strong information for you specifically. Mostly what they get at is, you’re not a Badger, especially not an unhealthy Badger.]

• Does your internal moral compass know something you don’t?

Well… maybe? I feed a lot of stuff into my brain, and I don’t always know what I think until the words have fallen out of my mouth.

I gotta say, I’m a Bird primary and this sounds terrifying to me. Sometimes I need to write about something before my opinion fully forms, but I write and think so much because I don’t trust myself to talk about it until I’ve poked the issue a bunch on my own.

The only exception is that there are a few people who will take me at my word if I say I haven’t made up my mind about an issue yet, and will listen to me debate it with myself, without judging me for not immediately agreeing with the stance they’ve already taken.

Not everyone is the same, of course, but this answer is a very Lion one.

• If you get a chance to make the world a better place, you have to pursue it– even at the expense of your happiness and personal relationships. Do you think this is a true statement?

If I could throw myself into a volcano to fix everything that is wrong with the world, I would cry and hug everybody I love and regret the hell out of what I was about to do to them and then chuck myself in the damn volcano. I think not doing so would be more selfish.

That is... a totally different thing than this question asked! 😂

However, you've established in previous questions (some of which were cut for length) that you don't feel responsible for fixing/changing the world as a moral imperative, so your answer to this is actually more interesting, lol.

I don't know what it actually says about your Sorting, but I'm leaving it in because it made me laugh.

• Do you think you’re a good person?

Another easy one. Define good! I try to be, within my own belief systems. But I know a lot of people who would not think I’m a good person, because in their belief systems I’m not. I think some of those people are good people, I think some are bad people. Life is complex. I do my best.

This is a pretty Birdy answer. You keep going back and forth! :p I'm probably going to end up leaving you with an ambiguous answer, huh?

If you're a burned Lion, you sound awfully chill about it and you use your ridiculously strong Bird model in an unusually healthy way, for a Lion. Lots of Lions with Bird models really struggle to reconcile the different priorities.

If you're a Bird, you have a ridiculously strong Lion model that seems to actually override your Bird sometimes--but Bird systems are complex and can include weird recursive rules like "in this situation, this other Primary is more right so we use that." Also, your understanding of your system seems more hands-off than a lot of Birds.

• It’s important to do the right thing, even when it feels wrong.

…yeeeeeees…. but. Why does it feel wrong? I would want to investigate that before doing the thing, because if it feels wrong, maybe I’m missing something that my subconscious caught. If I investigate that and am sure about the right, I think… I don’t know. I’m not sure I could do something I felt super icky about even if it was quote-unquote right?

Oh hey, that's my approach to Lion primary too. One point for Bird + loud Lion model?

By now I bet you either have a strong feeling about which of the options I've narrowed down is you, or you'll think about it and go back and pore over the archives here and on the other Sorting blogs. And then you'll think about which approach you took and what kind of a hint that is, which is basically meta-meta-analysis. Except now I've written this and you've read it, so you'll be wondering how reading this will affect your judgment, so it's meta-meta-meta-analysis now.

...I'll stop. 😉

Secondaries

Future Paint here. Tumblr discarded the ENTIRE second half of my response to this post, because I saved it and then hit post without refreshing the page, so it posted the old version, because of course it did.

The tl;dr is that I believe anon to be a rapid-fire Bird secondary with a Lion model.

Brb while I reconstruct this post.

• Do you like going into situations with a plan?

• When you spot a metaphorical obstacle in your path, what do you do?

I would love to, and some situations I do– job interviews, for example – but sticking to a plan is not my strong suit. I can follow a schedule, to some degree, and I can kind of make plans… but then I trip up because how can I account for all contingencies? So I usually end up chucking the plan and YOLOing my way through something on a wave of accumulated knowledge and practice experience.

Not all Birds are big planners. The defining thing is preparation, and that can mean hoarding skills, knowledge, tools and contacts, not just making plans and decisions in advance. A Bird might, for example, decide not to schedule their vacation, and instead read a couple travel guides before they go but wing it when they're there.

This question is one of those where I’d love a less abstract scenario. Because… it depends. In a video game I’ll usually go around. In real life I’ll stop and panic for a minute or a day, then get up and deal with whatever needs dealing with. Unless its a super immediate issue, and then I’m in the middle of it already and have to put off my existential crisis until later (see prior example of “breaking up a dogfight by sticking my arm betwixt them,” see also “i spent much of my teens rolling out of bed at 3am and getting dressed to go help with a foal delivery and I didn’t really start thinking until like twenty minutes after we arrive and start dealing with shit.” Like, I was making decisions and thinking about things, but… its different. They’re not reasoned choices, they’re “this has to be dealt with NOW so do what you can and sort it out later.”)

• Do you like to gather all possible information before making a decision?

I guess I land on needing to understand your problems. You can’t put them off forever, but if you’ve got the time to do some research and contemplation aforehand, that seems like the better choice.

I need you all to know that I didn't cut this dogfight story--I'm not depriving you of whatever wild ride anon had, it's just as much of a Noodle Incident to me as it is to you. However. I don't think I need to argue *too* much that anon has a Lion model.

• Is knowing things or knowing people more useful when solving problems?

Another tricky one, because I think all the answers are correct. I do like to know what’s going on, but at a certain point that IS just stalling. But! It’s true that making decisions without understanding the full picture CAN really mess you up! But it’s ALSO true that, in many situations, I can change my mind if I learn more. I think I lean towards doing All the Research before making a choice, but I’m pretty sure that’s largely a procrastination tactic.

Birrrrd.

Both. Ideally, one would know a range of People who know/have many Things. I’m a big fan of bartering my own skills and knowledge in return for those of other people – for example I am the go-to research person, because I’m pretty good at sourcing info and condensing it into “here’s what you ought to know, here are your options, and here’s where you can go for more information,” a thing which I do freely for my family. In return they do things I can’t or don’t want to, like my taxes or getting things off high shelves or making travel plans or whatnot.

• When your plan fails, what do you do?

I’m better at accumulating knowledge than connections, but I think the right connections are more often useful than said knowledge.

As @wisteria-lodge has said before, some Birds accumulate contacts the same way they gather other tools. They like the be the person to say, "I know a guy."

You're VERY clearly not a Badger. I've cut all the questions that were like "do you do [Badger Thing]" and you were like "NO" so. I don't think you'll need convincing on this point lol

See above… panic then act, unless I don’t have time, in which case act and then panic. Solve the immediate problems, clear some space to breathe, then deal with the rest.

• Do you collect things? Facts, objects, hobbies?

……. do links full of interesting things I fully intend to get around to reading and understanding someday count?

…yeah, this is where I take a look around at my books, games, Interesting Facts, various half-compentent hobby activities, and enduring rage that I cannot possibly know All The Things because I am a mortal subject to the finite bounds of my life and acknowledge that yes. I hoard the SHIT out of both physical and intellectual stuff.

• Do you ever study or plan excessively for things that aren’t useful? Just for fun?

I’m torn between yes, and yes but they have a purpose. I do enjoy learning, i was always good in school, when I could be bothered to care. There are a few topics I enjoy for their own sake – language and history and anything world-building, really, anything to do with who we are and how we got there. But I won’t usually go in depth; most things I skim enough to understand the basic concept and move on, leaving those things as cocktail facts. “Oh, you’re an astronomer focusing on the moons of Jupiter? I read $JupiterFact a while back, what are your thoughts?”

• Do you act differently in different groups? Does it bother you, if you do?

Like, I dont care about the moons of Jupiter unless Titan or Europa or whichever turns out to have life, but space is neat and I’d be excited by that conversation and I’m intrigued by the concepts even if i don’t have the inclination to deep-dive the topic.

These 3 question/answer pairs explain pretty clearly why I think anon is a Bird secondary...

Not very often, and not much. I absolutely utilize code-switching, but I’ve felt bad about not opening my mouth at times when I worked at a place that assumed I was a good little Christian white girl… I’m usually too afraid of repercussions to say anything, but I remember my supervisor saying an atheist billboard was “too much” and I just said “no, of course it isnt” and we gave each other a look like “… well this isn’t good…”

• When solving problems, is your first reaction seeing what “tools” you have in your pockets?

In general though, I’ll use a mask when I need to but I’m just kinda… me.

...and this was what cleared up the Lion secondary model for me.

• When you are deciding how to react to a situation, are your choices most affected by internal (how you feel, what you think, what you want) or external inputs (what’s happening around you)?

…I’m really not sure. I don’t think i actively assess the tools, physical or mental, that I have to hand? I generally know if I DON’T have the resources to deal with something, but if i do have them, I just do the thing and don’t think about it.

That's normal. You just know your toolset well enough that you don't have to think about it. Some Birds don't, or their toolset is eclectic enough (or even granular enough; try remembering all the books you've read that are relevant to a given research paper topic) that they forget what they have.

I think if I knew what I felt, I’d be happy deciding based on internal things, but I don’t know that I trust myself enough.

This answer seems more relevant to your primary. Might be Burned Lion primary peeking through.

And that puts me at a hatstall again.

Sorry for the bombardment, but it seemed like this would be relevant. I know I prefer more info to less, when I’m trying to help someone figure things out, so… words. Many, many words. Thrown at you. Mea culpa.

Hope you don't mind my cherrypicking! This must have been a ton of work for you to write, and I threw a bunch of it away 😭

(Only sort of, I did read it all first.)

In conclusion

Primary: either burned Lion + healthy Bird model, or Bird + loud loud Lion model.

Secondary: rapid-fire Bird with Lion model.

Hope that helps!

#sortinghatchats #paint speaks #submission #gryffindor primary #ravenclaw primary #gryffindor primary model #ravenclaw primary model #burned gryffindor primary #ravenclaw secondary #gryffindor secondary model

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bundleofyarrow · 3 years

Text

Bundle of Yarrow Chapter 9 is up!

the 9th chapter of my Milo x Reader fic Bundle of Yarrow is up! you can read it below the cut or over at AO3. this chapter is mostly inspired by an ask wanting to see a scene of Milo getting jealous! see my attempt at creating tension as you struggle to deal with suddenly being a part of the gym challenge.

Exiting Motostoke was like shifting into a completely different setting. The west side of the city was dominated by warehouses and loading equipment. Sounds of metal against metal and tumbling construction material overwhelms the magic feel of the city. Instead, haze from billowing smokestacks and whiffs of waste occupied your senses as you walked through to Route 3. You never thought you’d miss the Wild Area, but you would trade this for the scent of the forests any day.

“Whew! Now I remember why I never visit Turffield on foot unless it’s from Hulbury.” Sonia complains, waving a hand in front of her nose. “I think the last time I’ve been to Route 3 was for our gym challenge!”

Earlier in the day, Sonia showed you a statue of a hero with a sword and shield in the lobby of the Budew Drop Inn while you waited for Leon to get ready. She was reading the inscription and looking information up online while writing in her notebook. It was an interesting listen, hearing about Galarian folklore and the mysteries that remained. Her excitement and curiosity was infectious. Even though you had little relationship to this region’s mythologies, you were becoming invested in her adventure for finding out the truth. Apparently there are ancient sites in Turffield that may have leads for her research, so she decided to walk with you over to your first stop in the gym challenge.

“You don’t have to rough it with me, you know. You’re able to take a flying taxi over to Turffield.” You offer nonchalantly, not trying to give away that you do indeed want her company, but don’t want to feel like a bother. “It’s just me that has to do all the walking.”

“Absolutely not.”

A few paces behind you was Leon, except upon a cursory glance you might not be able to tell. He was dressed in joggers and a hoodie that contained his hair, complete with wrap-around sports sunglasses that tinted your reflection in yellows and greens. This is the first time you’ve seen Leon incognito, more used to his open, public displays of celebrity. In a group chat with you and Sonia, Nessa gossiped about Leon getting scolded by League higher-ups and was told to not be seen with you anymore. He was also given a bunch of work by Chairman Rose related to some new energy plan Marcos Cosmos was prototyping. Leon wouldn’t tell you more than that, only he was escorting you to the Galar Mines on the other side of Route 3, picking up some samples, and heading to Hammerlocke, which you learned is a city north of the Wild Area.

You couldn’t put your finger on it exactly, but it felt like Leon was hovering over you all day so far. He would reach for things to give to you the moment you were about to get them yourself, or he would take your coffee cup while you were texting on your phone. Leon insisted that he come along with you because you needed some training to do well at the gym challenge. You still weren’t completely sure about this whole gym challenge thing, but you figured he was right, given he’s a champion and all.

Things weren’t exactly settled with you though. When you woke up, your phone had a huge influx of notifications from Pokegram. Turns out that Raihan posted the selfies he took with you at dinner on his account and tagged you. This only seemed to stoke the speculation online about a relationship between you and Leon. While the idea didn’t offend you, things definitely didn’t feel like there was romance in the air. He always acted weird towards you, despite making advances on you twice. Not to mention, there has to be something going on him with and Sonia…

“It’s nice to do the walkin’ sometimes! Durin’ challenge season things get so busy, there’s no choice but to use flyin’ taxis.”

It was hard not to smile with Milo’s matter-of-fact optimism, seeming to be in a much better mood today and back to his usual pleasant self. He walked next to you with that permanent soft rise in the corners of his lips, not looking at all encumbered holding bags of last minute grocery shopping you did. Early this morning he actually went to get the group coffee and tea while you dragged yourselves out of bed and got ready to leave. On your way past the markets of the city you remember how you wanted to stock up on some cooking materials for the trip, and might have went a smidge overboard. You wanted to get some fresher ingredients for the first couple of days, so you got some sausage to cook for tonight and a good medley of mushrooms and veggies for tomorrow. After that, you knew you had to get things that preserve for a bit, so you also bought some potatoes and pre-cooked burger sealed tight, along with a couple cups of emergency instant noodles. And of course, plenty of curry mix! What escaped your calculations was how much all of that would weigh, and the current lack of space in your bag.

And as if on cue, with little effort at all, Milo just lifted the bag out of your arms and informed everyone he was joining you all on the trek over to Turffield. You were quite surprised, since he probably needed to get to his gym to prepare for the first wave of challengers. Milo said he wanted to stretch his legs and take things slowly before the rush, but you wondered if that was the full story. Come to think of it, this was when Leon’s weird behavior began.

As the group crossed out of Motostoke and to the dirt path of Route 3, Leon stopped you. He was scoping out the rustling in the tall grass and took notice of young trainers loitering around hoping to get some practice in. When he turns to you, he has a bit of a smirk and hands on his hips.

“Okay, it’s time to get serious about your training! Let’s go over some basics and give you some strategy.” He holds up eight fingers, four on each hand. “So there are eight gyms, what is unique about them?”

You blink a couple of times. “They all specialize in different types, even I know that Le-” He quickly makes a hushing gesture with a finger over his mouth. “Um, mysterious Mr. Man?” Sonia doesn’t hide her giggle.

“So you have to visit each of these in an order, right? It only makes sense that you try to capture and train Pokemon that have type advantages for your next gym. Then when you get to the championships, which you will, you can select the Pokemon you’ve bonded with the best to train for the end.”

“This feels like cheating, but okay.” You look over to Milo, who is looking down the route but casually listening in. “So it’s your gym first, and I feel like everyone has been saying you like Grass types?”

Milo smiles at you and gives a thumbs up. “You got it! In fact, you already met the Pokemon you’ll be battlin’.” That must mean the ones he introduced to you while you were camping.

“Right, now Milo isn’t that much of a challenge,” Milo stiffens a bit at Leon’s comment. “So as long as you find the right types, you can win pretty easy. Since his gym challenge only uses two Pokemon, you only need two yourself. And I’ll help you train!” His grin only widens, he’s really into this. “Do you know what is good against Grass?”

You try to remember the times you’d have lunch and Hop would force Gloria to quiz him on type matchups. Whether it’s helpful or not, you try to imagine literal grass and what it wouldn’t like. “Fire, Bugs, umm… and Ice?”

Leon nods. “Also Flying and Poison, so there are plenty of choices to beat Milo with.” Out of the corner of your eye, you notice Milo’s smile is gone and his expression is very difficult to read. It’s not that nervous, fumbling side that comes out every once in a while, it’s… something else. “This route is the habitat for a few fire Pokemon, Growlithe, Vulpix, and if you’re willing to do some searching, there’s Sizzlipedes too. And catching you a Rookidee wouldn’t hurt either. I can train you with the Thwackey I have on me, we need to work on your battling form.”

It’s hard to not feel a bit overwhelmed by everything Leon is shooting at you. But before you can protest much, he leads you down the route to begin your training. He gets nearby trainers to battle you, coaching you from how you throw your Pokeball to giving commands. Yelling orders at your Pokemon makes you deeply uncomfortable, so you try to work around Leon’s advising by cheering them on or getting better at reading the situation and relaying that information to them. You can tell Leon is biting his tongue, because while it seems like you’re winning battles, they aren’t decisive wins.

After a fight with a girl’s Vulpix, you crouch down to pet Pancham and tend to her burns. She didn’t seem to have an issue with battling at all, in fact, she’s basking in her victory. But hearing her cries when attacked was dreadful. It made you want to quit right then and there. “You’ll get a little extra curry tonight.” For some reason, your other Pokeballs shake upon hearing that.

When you rise and return Pancham to her Pokeball, you feel a strong hand on your back. “Good work, you’ll be battling me in no time!” You can see Leon’s eyes sparkle when he looks over his sunglasses at you. “I can now see what Milo was talking about, you care about your Pokemon above all other concerns. It’s hard to be that way during a fight though, during a Pokemon battle all you can think about is winning.”

You sigh a bit hearing that, and Leon soon directs you into the tall grass to find a fire Pokemon of your own. “You have a Vanillite, but it’s better to explore some more options before you settle on including her into your lineup.” It doesn’t take long to reconfirm that you are horrible at throwing Pokeballs, and you realize that you most likely only caught Yamper and Vanillite because they wanted to be caught, just with a bit of a fight first. The idea of forcing a Pokemon to join you twists your stomach. You attempt to talk to all the wild Pokemon Leon wanted you to catch but none responded very well.

“We’re really going to have to work on your throwing arm. Here, let me catch-”

“No.” You say with more force than you meant. “I don’t like doing it this way. My Pokemon picked me, and I want to keep it that way.”

Leon crosses his arms over his chest, cocking his head to the side and raising an eyebrow. “But how are you going to get the Pokemon you want? I admit I’m impressed that Pokemon seem to choose you willingly, and they want to fight for you. But you’re supposed to be doing the choosing, not them. You’re a Pokemon trainer now, have to get into a different mentality.”

Sonia and Milo have mostly been chatting between themselves while trailing behind you and Leon. They both give you a reassuring touch on the shoulder or elbow whenever he gets particularly tough in his instruction with you. It’s clear to you now why Leon is the champion, he can see the entire world from the perspective of a Pokemon battle. Every piece of information relates to how he can win or is discarded. On the other hand, you were interested in the story of each of your charges, wanting them to grow and live the lives they wanted to pursue. They chose you not because you were aiming to become the best, but rather some other adventure you had yet to fully define.

“I think you’re doin’ a great job.” You turn to Milo, who’s smiling. Thinking of him cheering you on sends some tingles throughout your body. “It’s nice to see someone go about being a trainer in a different way.”

“You’re just saying that because you want an easy win!” Leon smirks at Milo, slinging one arm around your tire shoulders. “Don’t listen to him, I’ll make it so you’re unbeatable for your adventure.” That unreadable expression returns to Milo’s face, and you watch his eyes lock onto where Leon’s hand is grasping your shoulder. “We’ll resume lessons soon, let’s take a break.” He gives you a quick squeeze and lets go to lead you forward.

It’s only now that you notice the sun was just starting to fall past its zenith. In a nearby clearing Sonia lays out a blanket and Milo tears apart some bread that he got at the cafe earlier this morning to pass around for a snack. You all are mostly quiet, probably for different reasons. You feel like there are maybe a pair of eyes or two on you, but you’re staring off into the distance as you mull over Leon’s attitude towards being a Pokemon trainer. However, it’s not long before the group notices a lingering smell of something unsavory. Sonia shoots a glare over to Leon while covering her lower face with her hand. “Ew Leon, was that you??”

“Sonia!” Leon practically screeched, turning a bright shade of red. “Why are you so quick to accuse me!?”

As they bicker, Milo leans towards you and points out into the distance past the route. There’s a factory with smoke drifting from it in the air, surrounded with carts full of what looks to be coal. “That’s a Marcos Cosmos energy plant over there, turnin’ ore into power.” You can tell Milo is trying to not breathe through his nose as he talks, and it takes you a bit of effort to not giggle at how cute he sounds. “Chairman Rose pretty much owns every method of generatin’ energy here in Galar. It probably smells because this is a crosswind point for the industrial district of Motostoke ‘n the factory.”

But the smell only gets stronger, and soon you hear some rustling in the nearby foliage. Sonia’s Yamper begins to bark as suddenly the source of the strong smell presents itself to you all: a Trubbish. Your friends instantly reel and move away from the Pokemon. “Let’s find somewhere else!” Sonia chokes through as she tries to grab her belongings.

You’re familiar with the Trubbish from Alola, where they gathered around cities. But you knew that most Trubbish only smell when they aren’t really in contact with people, as the stench is mostly a defense mechanism in the wild. On TV you remember multiple ad campaigns against Trubbish abuse, and that the Recycling Center harbored many that were put to work and happily coexisted with people. So your first reaction wasn’t to get up and run, but to tear your piece of bread in half and offer it to the Trubbish.

Leon calls your name. “What are you doing?? Let’s get out of here! Trubbish always leave sludge on your things and can attract other Trubbish miles away.”

“There’s a reason this Trubbish came to us. He’s hungry and must have been unable to find some food. Maybe the days before challenge season are the least traversed, so there are few people around littering.”

The Trubbish looks between your face and the bread a few times before waddling over to you. Even though the smell was no less than putrid, you did your best to smile and make it not seem like you were breathing through your mouth. “Go on, have some. And if you’d like, I can cook you some food later! What do you think about some sausage curry?”

You don’t need to see them to know your friends were gawking as the Trubbish takes the bread from you and the two of you eat your pieces together as a sign of friendliness. It was hard to notice at first, but as the breeze picks up you can tell Trubbish’s smell was beginning to disappear. Finishing the bread, he jingled happily, if the clanging of the trash items inside him could be considered jingling. Trubbish epitomized ugly-cute for you, but you didn’t want him to know that.

“All better for now?” You rise to your feet when he jumps and jingles some more. He kind of reminds you of your Vanillite, who you bring out of her Pokeball. “Something tells me you two will be friends, how about you keep each other company while we travel?”

It is clear Trubbish absolutely adores Vanillite, and you hope it’s not because he wants to eat her for looking like ice cream. But your Vanillite soon warms up, if still below freezing, pretty quickly when she notices the Trubbish doesn’t mind her cold temperatures. Once they start chattering you turn around, freezing when you see three pairs of eyes staring at you. Leon was straight-up slack jawed. “G-guys, what??”

Sonia is the first to speak up. “I’ve never seen someone speak to a Trubbish like that before… Brilliant! Had no idea their smell went away.”

Leon’s hand was pensively rubbing his chin as he looked at you and your Pokemon. “Not many people go through the trouble of taming a Trubbish. I can count on one hand the amount of times I’ve fought one as Champion.”

Milo isn’t quick to say anything, but he is positively beaming at you, to the point where you think his gaze would make you melt. You walk towards the others to start again down the route, and the two Pokemon jingle behind you. “It looks a bit like magic whenever I see ya talk to Pokemon.” He finally remarks, lightly touching his fingertips to your arm for a quick second. If you weren’t paying attention you wouldn’t have noticed the contact, but whenever his skin touches yours, you can feel the warmth radiate from his body.

“You’re not going to catch him?” Leon looks confused, only continuing to walk when you pass by him. “I thought that’s the reason why you did that?”

“Oh, I didn’t do that because I wanted to catch him. It just seemed like the right thing to do.” You give a slight shrug to Leon’s question. “If he gets along with our Pokemon well and seems to be having a fun time, I’ll offer him a Pokeball and he can decide. He is a Poison type, so that’s one I should get, right?” You can’t help but smile at Leon’s puzzled expression. “I at least owe him some cooking first!”

You encounter more battling school children down Route 3, probably because everyone can see Milo’s distinctive silhouette rather easily. Leon coaches you through battling with Vanillite as Trubbish and the others watch, but barking orders still doesn’t come naturally to you. During a battle with a girl’s Purrloin, you realize it’s not that you lack the confidence. Rather, you just don’t see your Pokemon as a means to an end for winning matches. Leon seems to be critiquing you less and more watching your style, how you trust Vanillite to react instinctively to the battle. It’s clear her ice attacks are getting stronger, and that she’s good at taunting and then countering with blasts of snow.

~*~*~*~

As the sun begins to near the horizon, Milo leads everyone up a hill to what looks like the highest point in Route 3. There are already other tents set up in the area, so the four of you get to work creating a little corner with the three tents between you all. The campsite quickly becomes a bit of a circus when everyone lets their Pokemon out: your five, Milo’s three, Sonia’s Yamper, Leon’s Charizard and Thwackey along with the wild Trubbish.

The two men go off to collect firewood, Sonia visits a nearby berry tree, and you begin to slice up some sausage. The Pokemon are cautious of Trubbish, but Vanillite seems to be acting as a liaison. Before you know it, they are romping and battling each other. Every once in a while one would scamper over to smell the sausage, but were satisfied with some pets and a promise that dinner would be ready soon. Milo’s Pokemon mostly hung around his tent and Charizard sat next to you watching the others. It begins to dawn on you that this is starting to feel familiar. You pause for a second, setting the knife down and just gazing out to where the Pokemon were playing. The Yampers were thick as thieves by now, chasing your Wooloo, Pancham, and now Leon’s Thwackey around. Lombre relaxed with Milo’s Pokemon while Vanillite and Trubbish seemed to be practicing techniques with each other. Charizard nuzzled your shoulder, an eye trained on the sausage as you pet him.

Milo and Leon were the first to return, looking to be in good spirits. It didn’t occur to you until now that they probably were friends, both being major figures in the League and all. They stacked the firewood and Leon got Charizard to light it up. But it wasn’t long that you noticed Leon was watching your Pokemon with a look of concern, arms crossed over his chest again.

“Is something wrong, Leon?”

He looks to you for a second before looking back at the playing Pokemon. “It might not be the best idea to let them battle unsupervised, especially when they are new to you and undisciplined. You’ll want to make sure they are developing the right habits.” You’re not entirely sure how to answer, because you know he’s probably right but you couldn’t think of anything more unpleasant. Leon turns back to you and crouches by the fire. “You’ve been working hard all day, how about I cook dinner and you take a break?”

You shake your head and notice Sonia returning with an armful of berries. “Let me do this, to make up for worrying you these past few days. It would mean a lot for me to cook for you.” You smile at Leon, and hear Milo busying himself with his Eldegoss who seem to be giving him a piece of their minds over something. “Plus, I promised Pancham and Trubbish some curry!”

Sonia hands you the berries she found and you sift through what she found. While she got you a good number, it seemed like there wasn’t a diverse selection on this route. Sausage is one of the better meats to react to sweetness, so you decide to base the roux of the curry on pecha berries with a few oran ones mixed in for balance.

When Leon and Sonia join the playing Pokemon, Milo comes to sit down next you. “Can I help with anythin’?”

You nod absent-mindedly as you compare berry sizes and count out how many you need. “Would you mind getting the rice going? That would be helpful! We’re also going to need to crush the oran berries and stir them right into the curry mix. The pecha berries will need a slight roasting over the fire, then we’ll crush half of them and put in the others whole. I’ll also brown the sausage over the fire before adding it in and then let everything cook. What do you think?”

When you look over to Milo, he’s smiling. Of course. And that funny feeling in your stomach takes over again. Of course. You really wish you knew what was happening to you. He doesn’t seem to be having as much of a messy internal monologue as you are. “Sounds amazin’! Were you a chef back ‘n Alola?”

You chuckle a bit as you sort the berries, Milo instinctively taking the ones to be mashed. “No not at all, I don’t know if I’m that good at cooking really.” You skewer slices of sausage and pecha on thinner sticks you find in the wood pile, preparing them for roasting.

“But you’re quite deliberate when you cook. Most people throw anythin’ in the pot and hope for the best.” You’re sure that Milo counts himself among most people, though he seems like the type that can eat anything and everything. He checks the temperature of the water in a smaller pot before adding the rice in, and you take that as a sign to pour the curry mix into the larger pot.

“I guess that’s true. Thinking on it, there’s just something special about making a good meal. Like, it’s one of the most satisfying things in life, eating good food that you made yourself, knowing others are happy because of something I did.” Milo pushes in the mashed berries into the curry while you prop up the skewers, lightly rotating them every once in a while over the fire. “Right now my mind is like, how can I make everyone happy with what I’ve got? I haven’t learned your preferences yet, but I feel like you’d enjoy this. And it would be really satisfying knowing that you did.”

Milo is quiet for a bit. You can’t tell if he’s thinking up a proper response or just taking in the moment. After you take down the skewers and toss the meat and remaining berries in, you begin to stir it all together. It smells how you imagine it, a savory-sweet smell which seems to waft over the camp since Pokemon are drawing nearer to the campfire. Sonia is back on her phone with her notebook in hand, and Leon is giving poor Thwackey a lecture. Curious noses sniff around the pot, but everyone can now read the look you give them to have some more patience.

“I can’t wait for you to see Turffield. I hope ya like it there.”

Milo’s voice was barely above a whisper, almost drowned out by the crackling fire and Pokemon chatter. You turn to him, a little taken back from his Eldegoss and Gossifleur staring at you expectantly. His face is in profile from your angle, shadows and light from the fire flickering across his cheek as he watches the curry bubble.

Before you respond, you feel mass of wool bump up against you. Wooloo immediately and consistently begins to bleat at you, crawling into your lap and staring at the pot of curry. You notice that all the other Pokemon have gathered around the campfire as well.

“Okay okay, it’s about done. You all should know that the longer it similar the more-” a range of Pokemon whines and protests erupt. How did you suddenly end up with so many children?

Leon takes the ladle before you can reach for it and begins to serve the curry over rice. With a smile he hands you the first bowl. “You earned it.” Soon enough the humans have their servings and the Pokemon gather around a few large bowls they share from.

The sounds of happy eating pleases you as the curry came out nicely. You’re glad that you decided to grill some of the ingredients to give the curry some texture and not get more sweet than savory. It could have done with more spice, you’ll have to make sure you gather some cheri or figy berries next time for when there aren’t any in nature.

“This is amazing!!” Leon regards you with his mouth full, with Sonia more politely covering her mouth as she nods beside him. “I didn’t know you could cook this well! Might be better than Sonia’s cooking.” Which then causes her to frown.

“I’ll remember that the next time you’re pawing at my tent door for breakfast.”

The two get into their usual back-and-forth, letting you shift your attention to Milo. He was shoveling his food down, probably needing seconds soon. “Did it come out alright?” Mouth full, he nods and chews at the same time.

As the night goes on, conversation inevitable gets back to the gym challenge. Though the two are friendly, you can’t help but sense some tension between Leon and Milo. It’s clear that Leon perceives Milo’s gym to not be much of a challenge, and expects you to only be in Turffield for a short while before heading to Hulbury. Apparently there’s a train station there and he can visit you from Hammerlocke easily when you get there. “I’m sure Sonia will want to hang out with Nessa for a while, too.”

That’s when you realize that, while not arrogant, Leon was quite used to getting his way and being the center of attention. He didn’t demand it really, but it seemed like he had this magnetism that drew people to him and he based his understanding of everything bending towards him. Leon never once asked for Milo’s input about his gym or your opinion on what you wanted your travel plans to be. It’s like he had this vision and just needed everyone to play their parts.

The Pokemon quickly tired out after eating and grouped up in different piles ready to sleep for the night. Social groups are definitely starting to form, though you don’t really see anything wrong with that. You’re happy that Vanillite, who usually wants to return to her Pokeball come bedtime, has found a cuddle buddy in Trubbish. Watching them makes you yawn, and it’s only now you realize how tired the day has made you.

“I think it’s time for you to turn in.” Leon rises from his spot next to Sonia and begins collecting the dishes. “If you’re going to make it to the other side of the mines before sunset, we’ll need to get up early in the morning.”

After another yawn, a hand reaches down from above; it’s Milo, with a soft smile on his face, the jade of his eyes almost glowing reflecting the fire. Always the gentleman. But when you take is hand, you can’t help but feel all those funny feelings again. You’re sensitive to the tactile nature of his hand, one that is calloused and used to manual labor, is firm in grip only just as much as it needs to be. It’s difficult to not notice his bicep flexing as he pulls you upwards. Upwards towards him, almost enough for you to bump into his chest. Thankfully it’s dark out and he probably can’t tell you’re flushed being this close to him. You realize he’s slow to let go of your hand, and he looks like he’s working up to say something to you.

Another’s hand grasps your shoulder and gives it a little squeeze. Leon’s. “Sleep in my tent tonight, okay?”

You’re caught off-guard by the request, but in an effort to not reveal how embarrassed you were feeling, you just nod. The cool night air brushes over your hand as Milo releases his hold and creates some space between the two of you. Leon goes to wash the dishes (with Charizard, or else he wouldn’t find his way back), Sonia lets the Yampers hop into her tent, and you’re alone with Milo. His eyes are downcast, and eventually he rubs the back of his neck as he turns away from you.

“We should get to sleepin’, huh?” The uncertainty in his voice intrigues you. His shoulders then square and he turns back to you, looking determined. “I guess I’m the first challenge in your adventure. I… won’t let ya go that easily.” Before you can respond, he nods to his Pokemon and heads into his tent. Maybe Milo won’t be as easy of a gym leader after all.

After putting out the fire and whispering good night to all the Pokemon, you take your bag and head inside Leon’s tent. Wooloo sneaks in after you, followed by Pancham and Thwackey. Looking around on the inside, you’re not really sure what you were expecting, it’s just a tent with usual camping things. You decide to unfurl your sleeping bag and change your clothes while Leon is still away. The three Pokemon settle in the middle of the tent, and you crawl into your sleeping bag.

When Leon returns, you hear the clanging of pots and dishes. Outside the tent he wishes Charizard a goodnight before entering. He grins seeing all the Pokemon resting next to you. “Now that’s a picture.” His Rotom zips out but he flails to catch it before it does anything. “No! I’ll be in so much trouble if that hits Pokegram.”

You raise an eyebrow. “What do you make off all that? I imagine you don’t take it seriously if you’re letting me sleep your tent.”

He scratches the back of his head. “Huh? I just want to talk battle strategies…”

As he launches into the typical moves that Gossifleur and Eldegoss use and their counters, you realize that he earnestly just wanted to talk Pokemon. And boy, can Leon talk about Pokemon battles. You feel a little guilty hogging him as a resource, wouldn’t Gloria and Hop benefit more from his guidance?

Milo’s parting words echo in your mind. The thought of battling him makes you uncomfortable, and it was like he drew that line between you two. It definitely sounded like he wasn’t going to make his battle with you easy. Thinking of Milo as an opponent just didn’t sit well with you.

You began to drift to sleep somewhere around the part where Leon mentions something about… Gigantics? Maxismist? Something like that, that future you can deal with as you think about a certain peach-haired man as you slip into your dreams.

#bundle of yarrow #milo x reader #pokemon milo

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idunnowatimdoin · 3 years

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There Are Only Three Steps I Care About and Love Isn't One of Them || Chapter 1 (Snippet)

So I started writing a medical school AU of our two favorite bois. Here’s a small preview of what I’ve got so far. Lmk what y’all think!!

“You’re joking.” The acerbic tone of his voice would make weaker men cower in fear – has done so on many occasions in fact!

It doesn’t even phase Qui-Gon’s serene smile. “Of course not, my young padawan. Why would I joke about something as important as this?”

“I told you to stop calling me that. We’re not in a fucking movie, Qui. And this is serious!” Obi-Wan growls, slamming his hands down on the table where Qui-Gon sits calmly and flipping the folder he’s holding open and around so the other can see. “When I told you I wanted a non-traditional student as a Little, what in the ever loving fuck possessed you to think that this is what I meant?”

Qui-Gon glances down at the folder as though he doesn’t know exactly what’s inside it – as though he isn’t the (former) president of the Big-Little Club mentorship program and in charge of setting up all the first year medical students with their second year mentors. The bright beaming smile of one Anakin Skywalker shines up at him. The older man takes a few long moments of silence to skim over the file before looking up at the other, fuming, man with an arched brow. “I don’t see what the issue is.”

“The issue,” Obi-Wan snarls, “is that I was looking to get someone more like us non-traditional: older, coming into medicine as a second profession, struggling to get back into the swing of studying after years away from academia. Instead you gave me a twenty-two year old, fresh from college, pretty boy. He skipped grades because he was that smart, Qui. He didn’t even take a gap year! He’s as traditional as you get!”

If anything, Qui-Gon’s brow arches ever higher. Obi-Wan gives serious thought to shaving it off while the man sleeps. “Perhaps if you looked closer, you’d have seen why I picked this one for you. I assure you, my young apprentice, he is far from traditional.”

Groaning, Obi-Wan makes sure to drag his chair back with a loud screech against the tile of the floor just for the satisfaction of watching Qui-Gon’s involuntary wince. Good. He slips into the chair opposite from him and spins the folder back so he can look at it, eyes scanning over the document with new intent. If Qui-Gon says there’s something there, there has to be. The guy may be a right git, but he’s not an outright liar. Most of the time.

Anakin Skywalker. Age: 22. Hometown: Tatooine, Arizona. Undergraduate Degree: Mechanical Engineering, B.S. from Cal Poly Pomona. Hobbies: Taking things apart and putting them back together again, fixing things, building things, cars, racing ♡♡♡, baking Interesting Fact About You: I built my first robot at the age of nine. He was really dumb, but Mom loved him. His name was C3PO and he shorted out any time you tried to get him to do anything, but Mom kept him around anyways. Why Did You Go Into Medicine: While I was away at college, our house got broken into. Some thugs beat up my mom and stole everything we owned. I barely made it to the hospital before she died. I remember standing against the wall while she coded, feeling absolutely helpless as the crash team tried to resuscitate her. I never want to feel that helpless again. What Do You Want Out of This Program?: To learn how the fuck to study medicine. I have an engineer brain so I feel like all this stuff is a foreign language to me? Like I’m running Python but everyone else is over here using C++. Poor analogy because that’s more c-sci than engineering, but whatever. Basically I need help. Please. The academic advisors didn’t do shit and the teachers and office hours aren’t useful at all. So… You’re my only hope.

And on second reading it seems less infuriating and more… endearing? Maybe. It might just be because he’s gotten the chance to rage at Qui-Gon out of his system so he can look at the application with clarity and see just how non-traditional this Anakin Skywalker really is.

For one thing, he’s young. Younger than most applicants. He had to have skipped at least two grades to be here at twenty-two. And he’s an engineering major. That’s about as non-traditional as Obi-Wan’s philosophy major, as Qui-Gon’s MBA. The rest of it builds on his overall image of “non-traditional student,” but it’s the last question that really gets Obi-Wan, that seals his fate. Qui-Gon fucking knew it would, too, the asshole. It’s probably why he picked Anakin to be Obi-Wan’s Little, because he knows Obi-Wan’s weaknesses too well after a year acting as his Big. That bit about learning how to study? And it feeling like everyone else was speaking a foreign language? Feeling completely lost and helpless because all the other resources that were supposed to help you just weren’t panning out and this mentorship program was your last hope? Obi-Wan had been there last year. So he knows what Anakin’s feeling, what he’s going through. And it’s why Qui-Gon knows he’s going to accept, going to take Anakin on.

He sighs, pinching his nose in frustration before looking back down at the smiling face of one Anakin Skywalker. “Did you really have to pick someone so attractive?” he finally sighs, looking up at Qui-Gon in resignation.

Qui-Gon – the bastard – just chuckles. “If you’re going to spend the next year mentoring him, he might as well be someone you enjoy looking at. It’s part of why I picked you.” Then he has the gall to wink.

The poor crowd of first years eating their lunch in the common area really have no idea how to react when Obi-Wan upends the table and launches himself at the third year student, Qui-Gon laughing the whole time.

In the end, it takes Obi-Wan two days to actually reach out to Anakin. Not because he’s scared or anything because he’s not. It’s because Dr. Che’s GI anatomy review lecture had reminded Obi-Wan just how much he didn’t remember from first year anatomy-physiology lab and he’d deep dived back into his old anatomy notes and panic-blacked out midway through flipping through his Thieme “Atlas of Anatomy” textbook, only surfacing back up when Bant literally tugged him by the ear away from the dorm study space back to his room. So two days later, his under eyes are a bit darker than normal (but that’s pretty much a given in med school and no one even spares him a second glance) when he shoots Anakin a text.

[Message: To: Anakin Skywalker] Hello, this is Obi-Wan Kenobi. We were paired as part of the Big-Little program. I am reaching out to ask when you would be available to meet so that we could discuss further what you would like to get from this program and how best I could assist you to succeed in medical school. Please let me know at your earliest convenience.

Message sent, Obi-Wan tucks his phone away and makes his way to his locker so that he can grab his other notebook for Professor Koon’s physiology lecture. The man tends to like more… hands on demonstrations and Obi-Wan has taken to storing all his belongings except the essentials in his locker for the duration of Professor Koon’s lectures just in case.

His phone buzzes in his pocket, cutting off a second later to start buzzing anew. This continues again and again before he finally pulls it out and flicks it to life.

[Message: From: Anakin Skywalker] Omg!!

[Message: From: Anakin Skywalker] I didn’t think you were ever going to text me

[Message: From: Anakin Skywalker] Hi!!

[Message: From: Anakin Skywalker] Wow your text sounds so formal like an email

[Message: From: Anakin Skywalker] Are you free for lunch today??

[Message: From: Anakin Skywalker] Sorry for the rush but like

[Message: From: Anakin Skywalker] We have a quiz Friday and

[Message: From: Anakin Skywalker] I have no idea how to study for it

[Message: From: Anakin Skywalker] So if you could help me that would be

[Message: From: Anakin Skywalker] AMAZING

[Message: From: Anakin Skywalker] Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi

[Message: From: Anakin Skywalker] You’re my only hope!!

Obi-Wan stares for a moment at the veritable wall of texts that completely blocks out his original message. He feels a migraine coming on. This is looking like it’s going to be a very, very painful year indeed.

#obikin #obi wan/anakin #obi-wan/anakin #obi-wan x anakin #anakin skywalker #obi-wan kenobi #medical school au #medical school #Works in Progress #snippet #There Are Only Three Steps I Care About and Love Isn't One of Them #Chapter 1 #I did a thing??#idk if it's a good thing but I like it so far #¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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allthefilmsiveseenforfree · 3 years

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Magnolia

I don’t know much about Magnolia or Paul Thomas Anderson, but I do know that it takes someone paying me to get me to watch a 3-hr+ drama that doesn’t star Kate Winslet, Leonardo DiCaprio, and a really big boat. This is one of my mom’s favorite movies which is why she requested it for me to review. It’s packed with a balls-to-the-wall star-studded cast (Tom Cruise! Julianne Moore! Phillip Seymour Hoffman! John C. Reilly! William H. Macy! Felicity Huffman!) and I’m genuinely excited to see how they all fit together. Cause they have to all fit together in some coherent way, right? Well...

Do you remember in Sorry to Bother You when the Equisapiens came out and things just took like...a real turn? That’s kind of what this was like. Whereas StBY pushed a thought to its most extreme, but logical, conclusion, what Paul Thomas Anderson has done here feels like a magician doing a lot of impressive illusions - sawing a lady in half, making a motorcycle disappear, pulling smaller things out of bigger things - and then for his final trick, walking onstage amidst a grand plume of smoke, dropping his pants, taking a gigantic shit, and then saying, “You’ve been a great audience, thanks a lot and goodnight!” It’s not like you can say the experience was BAD. Everything up to the finale was a really great time! But when you’re left on a note that is that bafflingly odd, it kinda colors the way you’ll remember the whole thing.

Magnolia is the story of one long day in the life of 12 people living in Los Angeles who are all connected via an extensive web from acquaintances to married couples to parents and children to paid caregivers and beyond. It’s a day that has the same kind of ups and downs as any other day until it, well, turns into something else entirely. I’m not sure how else to explain it, but if you want to know more, spoilers will be spoiled below.

Some thoughts:

Patton Oswalt cameo! I am a massive fan and thought I knew his whole filmography and OMG how did I not know that he was in this!!

Ok, in spite of my skepticism this entire opening sequence about coincidence had me hooked IMMEDIATELY. Like, this is some damn good storytelling, if this were a novel, I would not be able to put it down - that pull, that’s what it feels like.

Am I the only person whose encyclopedic memory of character actors/roles gets distracted when they see someone from something that is wildly disparate compared to the role you’re currently watching? For example, I had to pause the movie and confirm via IMDB that I did just see Professor Sprout from HP scream “Shut the fuck up!” at her husband while brandishing a shotgun.

Would people really recognize a grown ass man from being a successful child game show contestant? I’ll tell you the answer, no they wouldn’t, because no one realizes that Peter Billingsley (aka Ralphie from A Christmas Story) is the head of the elf production line in Elf.

I knew this was a stacked cast, but holy SHIT this is a stacked cast. If I had $1 for every fantastic character actor I recognize in this, I would have at least $37, and these are people in the film who have maybe 2-3 lines each. It’s a deep bench is what I’m saying.

This makes me miss Phillip Seymour Hoffman so, so very much.

Watching PSH care for and be so compassionate and gentle with his hospice patient, Earl (Jason Robards),makes my heart ache terribly. All of the people who have been unable to perform this kindness, this type of compassionate care for their closest loved ones as they lie dying in isolation of Covid...it’s overwhelming.

OMG I’m counting 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 Very Good Dogs in the old man’s house!

I know Scientology is evil and he’s undeniably a complicated and morally grey person. I know all that. But goddamn I just love watching Tom Cruise COMMIT. Particularly when he commits to just absolute fucking sleazebag slimeballs. And boy oh boy is Frank Mackey an absolute fucking sleazebag slimeball.

Related - I know Frank looks like Tom Cruise, so he could get people to sleep with him no matter what, but I honestly feel like as a human being, this flesh suit is WAY more attractive balding and fat in Tropic Thunder than he is in this shiny brown shirt/leather vest/long hair combo.

I’m getting an uncomfortable vibe about these black characters being written by an artsy white dude, because I don’t know any young black kids who want to hang around with cops and offer up information about who committed a murder in their building. In fact, the way all of the black characters are treated in this film - as liars, criminals, the disingenuous “main stream media,” and thieves - feels rooted in some racist ass bullshit. We see a lot of nuance in our white characters, but even in a film that has, shockingly, more than one key black role, we don’t get that spectrum or nuance.

There is nothing I would love more than to learn that Frank Mackey is 1) gay 2) impotent or 3) both. He’s so disgustingly over-the-top misogynistic, it honestly feels like it should all be a complete act.

I confess I am on the edge of my seat trying to figure out how all these narrative threads tie together. It’s compelling as hell, even though half the time I don’t know why these people are having these long, meandering conversations. The pacing feels so deliberate, like a puzzle coming together. There’s real craftsmanship in how every scene is plotted to feel connected rather than manic or disjointed.

This pharmacist is being unprofessional as hell. Judgy McJudgerson, mind your fucking business, Julianne Moore’s father is dying! [ETA: ope, that’s embarrassing, Earl is actually her husband.]

NO THE DOG IS EATING THE PILLS OH NO VERY CONCERNED ABOUT THE DOG.

I think I knew this, but this soundtrack is fantastic. All Aimee Mann and Supertramp, and Jon Brion’s score is this thrumming, anxious thing full of strings that underscore all these nervous conversations, and then it shifts into these low, mournful horns when things start to take a turn and everyone is reaching their lowest points.

I love this interviewer (April Grace) who is taking Frank (Tom Cruise) to task. I think it’s particularly noteworthy that she is a black woman, because the kind of misogyny Frank peddles is rooted in white supremacy.

Stanley (Jeremy Blackman) is breaking my goddamn heart here. I think he and Phil (PSH) are my favorite characters.

Jim (John C Reilly) is the perfect example of how even a cop with the best intentions, with absolute kindness and love is in heart, is abusing his power and sexually harassing a woman he encountered in the line of duty, who is eager to appease him because she doesn’t want to be charged with a crime. This movie reads a LOT differently than it did in 1999.

I normally really love Julianne Moore, but she is a screeching mess in this. I can’t stop staring at her mouth and all the contortions it makes as she delivers every line in hysterics. She’s one of the few weak spots for me here.

Listening to Frank go on his whole diatribe about what society does to little boys to break them and victimize them HAS to be the source of where Keith Raniere got at least half of his NXIVM bullshit. Like, some of these points are word-for-word.

Also if Frank makes as much money as he seems to, there’s no way he would drive a shitty Saturn sedan.

It feels like the common thread of this movie is everyone is terrible and cheats on their spouses, and you should come clean when you get cancer so you can die peacefully. Weird moral, but ok.

If Jim is a cop, how does he not see that this woman he’s interested in (Melora Walters) is coked out of her mind?

Y’know for being a quiz kid, Donnie (William H. Macy) sure is kinda stupid.

I confess I’m not taking many notes throughout this because I’m just kind of sitting breathlessly still watching all these conversations unfold because I am on the edge of my fucking seat to find out how all this is gonna come together.

Secret MVP of this movie is the mom from A Christmas Story (Melinda Dillon) who is giving the performance of her goddamn life as Jimmy Gator’s wife.

Did I Cry? On the surface it appears ridiculous, but when Tom Cruise is having his breakdown at his dying father’s bedside, I admit, that really got me. If you’ve ever been faced with that kind of hysterical, I-can’t-believe-this-is-happening, it feels like the whole world is ending kind of shock and hurt and anger, that’s what the crying looks like.

Are those......frogs?? That landed on Jim’s car? It’s raining fucking frogs???? OK for those of you sensitive to frog harm, this movie is going to take a real hard left turn for you, because I swear that came out of NOWHERE.

Um.

What.

Pray tell.

The fuck.

The climax of this movie - is when literal frogs rain from the sky.

And we finally got resolution about the dog, and the dog DID die, and I’m pissed about it. It’s offscreen but still.

I'm sorry - I know I’m fixating. But how is it possible that I knew about all the characters performing a sing-along to Aimee Mann’s (excellent) song “Wise Up” but I did NOT know that the climax of the film involves literally thousands of frogs falling to their death from the sky? How is that something that escapes entry into the cultural zeitgeist? I’m with it, you guys. I have been Very Online for over a decade, and before that, I read a lot of Entertainment Weekly, and like it just seems that this is something that pop culture really should have told me.

I think the funniest moment of this movie might be the credits in which I discovered that not only is Luis Guzman playing a man named Luis, he’s actually playing himself. I don’t know why, but I can’t stop laughing about it. That was a 189-minute setup to one dumb punchline.

I think I loved this movie but I don’t quite know. The frog thing really threw me. What I’m taking away from it is that even when it doesn’t feel like it or seem like it, we are all connected to each other, always, in ways we can’t see or know. As Wife astutely pointed out, it’s reminiscent of the pandemic - we’re all in the same storm, but we each have our own boats and our own experiences within that storm. And it’s kind of nice to remember that right now, that connection still exists even when it feels so far away. Just not if you’re a frog I guess, cause they really got the short end of the stick here.

If you liked this review, please consider reblogging or subscribing to my Patreon! For as low as $1, you can access bonus content and movie reviews, or even request that I review any movie of your choice.

#121in2021 #magnolia #magnolia review #paul thomas anderson #tom cruise #julianne moore #phillip seymour hoffman #John C Reilly #william h macy #movie reviews #film reviews #patreon review

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ohshit-itsyagorl · 4 years

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Four Dipshits and a Michelle

Part 2! Part 1

Thank you so much for the feedback on AO3. If you want to read the story there, you can find it here.

Summary: Michelle never believed in soulmates. But what happens when she turns seventeen and gets her mark? What happens when she inevitably finds the person with the matching tattoo? And what is she supposed to do with Peter Parker. Her best friend in the whole world. Her crush. Someone she feels drawn to for some inexplicable reason.

Michelle couldn’t meet Peter’s eyes the next day. Not after last night. Not after she had hung up the phone, climbed into bed, and finished what she had started when Peter caught her moaning. When she had touched her heat, and it had felt different than when she just cleaned down there showering, when it had felt better.

And then when her hand had found her soulmark and stroked it, and her orgasm had wracked her body, ricocheting through her in hot blades of pleasure. She had never really done anything like that before, never felt the need to, and as she had collapsed on her bed, she had wondered how--how had she not.

But worst of all, when she had whispered Peter as she came undone, still touching her mark.

She felt dirty. Trapped between two people: a soulmate she didn’t want and an off-limits best friend she did.

Peter kept looking at her during Biology, too. The fact that they were lab partners didn’t make matters any easier. Nor did it help that he was practically a furnace sitting next to her. And it was mid-winter and the classroom was very cold, and she so wanted to lean into that heat.

Their teacher cleared his throat. “Alright, class. We’re going to start the fetal pig dissection today. Now, we’ve been preparing for this for about a week, so I won’t be walking you through every step of the process. Got it?” The class nodded. “Great. Pigs are in the corner, one per table group, and please try to keep the joking around to a minimum.”

Peter looked over and started to say something but Michelle was already gone. When she got back he had his binder out on the table and a pencil in his hand. He started to open his mouth again—

“Don’t,” Michelle said. “It’s not something I want to talk about.” She loosed a breath and looked up. His eyes floored her, warm and brown and so, so deep.

Maybe someday she would look back on this with him and laugh. Laugh about her stupid crush. Without thinking her hand came to rest over her soulmark. Thankfully this could be passed off as a hand to the heart, and not… what it really was.

Peter’s eyes dropped to her chest, then flicked back up to meet her eyes. He licked his lips. Michelle followed the movement, then mentally cursed herself.

“So, what should we name our pig?” Peter asked. Michelle just gave him an unimpressed look. “What? It needs a name.” He looked at her pleadingly.

Michelle sighed. “Fine. What do you want to name,” she examined the pig, “him?”

Peter grinned. “Iron Man.”

She scoffed. “Absolutely not. We are not naming this poor pig after Iron Man. He’s basically an ego on wheels.” Peter looked like he was about to argue. “Look, if you really want to name our dead pig-child after an avenger, let’s name him Spider-Man. Or even better: Spider-Pig.”

Peter cleared his throat and laughed nervously. “Why, uh, why him? Why not, like, Captain America or Hawkeye or someone—anyone—else?”

“He protects Queens, Peter,” Michelle explained. “It makes the most sense. Besides, have you seen his suit? Super cool.”

Peter puffed his chest out a little. Weird.

With that step out of the way, they continued with the dissection, cutting a slit down the center of Spider-Pig’s stomach, careful not to puncture any of the organs. They made small talk between trying to locate the different parts of the pig’s digestive system. Little things: how May had been, what kind of stuff Michelle had been drawing (though she only told him part of that), MJ’s stupid landlord problems (they had been having issues with the heating). It was nice talking to him, pretending last night didn’t happen.

The end of the period came too fast, the bell startling Michelle so she jumped. Peter chuckled a bit, and she punched him lightly in the arm, smiling a little herself, too.

English and art passed by quickly, and before she knew it, she was standing in the lunch line waiting for her food.

When she reached their usual table, Betty looked up and said, “Happy Birthday, MJ!” Then, more conspiratorially, “You got your soulmark, right? What is it?”

Michelle rolled her eyes. This girl was never going catch a hint, was she? But MJ just shrugged. “Yeah, I got it, but I won’t tell you what or where.”

Betty pouted, and MJ saw Ned’s eyes trained on her lips. Honestly, could he be any more obvious? Betty didn’t notice, though, instead saying, “Oh, c’mon, M, just tell us.”

MJ glared and shook her head. Conversation over.

Peter coughed from behind her, and she stiffened, slowly turning around to face him.

“You’ll still make fun of my mark with me come August even if you won’t tell me about yours, though, right?” He asked.

Michelle was about to say no, but he just looked so hopeful—a bit like a lost puppy, if she was being honest. So she shrugged, and nodded.

“Ooh,” Cindy exclaimed, “Maybe your soulmate is Peter, MJ.”

Michelle scoffed. Not fucking likely. She and Peter were best friends, nothing more. “Don’t be gross, Cindy. He’s my best friend. He’s like a brother to me.” That last part wasn’t true, but they didn’t need to know that. Especially not Peter, who was blushing and spluttering more than she was.

“Shame,” Betty sighed. “You two would be cute together.”

Michelle flipped her off. Peter coughed loudly to her right, looking like the world’s most uncomfortable teenager. Ned opened his mouth, and Peter elbowed him in the side, his expression going from embarrassed to murderous.

“L-lets, just drop it, Betty. Clearly neither of us is interested,” Peter added.

Ouch, that hurt a little.

—————————————————————

That night was spent with Peter and Ned furiously trying to memorize the digestive system of a pig for the pop quiz their teacher had hinted at heavily that morning in class.

“That’s the gallbladder, right?” MJ asked, furrowing her brow.

“Nah, I don’t think so,” said Peter, leaning over her shoulder. His breath tickled her ear and she bit her lip, trying with all her might not to shiver at the way he made her nerves stand on end. “I think it’s actually that little thing right there. Don’t quote me on that, though.” He grinned at her, then quickly looked away.

They went on like that for a few hours, slowly making their way through the mountain of homework they had been assigned.

MJ’s phone rang suddenly, making them all jump. “Crap,” she said, blindly reaching into her waistband. She managed to pull out her phone to see that her mom was calling her. “Sorry, guys, I’ve got to take this.”

“No Problem, M. Take your time,” Ned responded, giving her a small smile. Peter nodded in agreement, and Michelle stepped away into the Parker’s sitting room. She raised her phone to her ear: “Hey, Mom. What’s up?” She asked.

“Hi, Honey. The heating went out at the apartment, so I’m at the hospital—Nothing’s wrong, so don’t freak out! The doctors just didn’t think it was a good idea for me to be in such a cold house because of—well, you know.”

“Yeah, Mom. I can talk to the landlord about it tomorrow morning. As long as you don’t need anything from the house—if you do, I can run home now and bring it to you—”

“No, M. I’ll be fine for tonight. And, Honey?” Her mom said.

“Yeah, Mom?”

“I don’t want you going home tonight, okay? It’s below freezing and I don’t want you catching a chill.”

“But, Mom,” MJ started.

“No buts, Michelle. Ask if you, Peter and Ned can have a sleepover or something. I love you, and I’ll see you tomorrow.” Her mom hung up. No room for argument.

Michelle swore under her breath, then turned to go back into Peter’s room. They looked up as she came in, curious expressions on their faces. “Hey, guys,” she said, “the heating in my apartment went out. Is it possible for me to stay here for the night? We—we could maybe have a sleepover?”

“Yeah, sure. That sounds good with me. Ned?” Peter asked, looking at his best friend.

“I can’t, sorry. I need to look after my little sister tonight.”

“Ok. Pete, are you sure this is okay?”

“Of course. Besides, your mom is right: it’s too cold outside to not have heating.” Michelle briefly wondered how he knew about her mom’s worries as she hadn’t voiced this particular part of their conversation, but she put it out of her mind. She had more important things to worry about, like how she was spending the night alone with Peter less than twenty four hours after she had gotten herself off to the thought of him. She fought back a blush and nodded at Peter to hide her growing discomfort. May would be back soon, anyway. It wasn’t like they would be alone alone.

MJ sat down and pulled her binder toward herself again. The rest of their work was for separate classes, so they couldn’t really work together, but it was still nice to have study buddies to keep her on track.

Soon enough, though, Ned had to leave. After the initial conversion, Ned had explained that his parents were going out for a little alone time, and he needed to make sure his younger sister got to bed at a reasonable time. He did this with much complaint, now that he knew his two best friends were going to have a sleepover together.

Honestly, if MJ was being honest, she was kind of excited about getting a little alone time with Peter. The whole day had been a little awkward, and she just wanted everything to go back to normal.

“Movie?” Peter asked. He started to get up and move to the sitting room.

“Yeah, sure. We could just stick with Star Wars tonight, though.”

Peter grinned at her and her heart did a somersault. Damn those perfect teeth. Michelle followed him out of the room.

They ended up watching Empire Strikes Back as they were both in agreement it was the best Star Wars film. They joked throughout the movie, and Peter, ever the dramatic, acted out his hand being chopped off when the time came.

Soon, though, the movie came to an end. Michelle looked at the time: 11:00. They had school tomorrow and she didn’t want to be a zombie, so, “We should probably get to bed.”

Peter nodded. He got up from the couch and made his way back to his room. “I’ll be in the bathroom.”

This time it was MJ’s turn to nod, and she followed him into his bedroom. Peter quickly closed the door to the bathroom and Michelle heard the shower turn on. She pulled out her book and started to read.

Peter wasn’t in the shower for very long, Michelle had only read about fifteen pages when he exited the bathroom. She looked up. And froze.

Peter was wearing his boxers.

Only his boxers.

And she had been right the other night: Peter had abs. And pecs and biceps and every other defined muscle that, put together, made him sexy as hell. Her eyes trailed down his toned stomach to the defined v that led down past the waistband of his boxers. Fuck her, she was going to jump him right where he stood.

“What are you wearing?” She croaked, breath catching in her throat.

Peter looked down at himself, then back at her. “This is what I wear to sleep. I get too hot in anything more.” He grinned at her slyly. “But if it makes you uncomfortable, I can—”

“No!” MJ interrupted. “I mean, no. It’s fine. Wear whatever makes you comfortable.” Then she realized something: “Um, actually, speaking of sleepwear, I don’t have anything to, you know…”

“Oh—oh, yeah. Here,” he said, ruffling through some drawers and pulling out a shirt and a pair of sweats and tossing them to her. “You can use these.”

Michelle quietly accepted the clothes, trying hard to keep her eyes trained on his face, and moved to the steamy bathroom. She didn’t have any shampoo or conditioner with her, but she figured Peter wouldn’t mind if she borrowed some of his. It definitely wouldn’t be very good for her curls but she was willing to take the risk. She really needed a shower. She hadn’t showered the previous night after her… activities, and she felt pretty disgusting just thinking about sleeping in the same room as him when the sweat that had dried on her skin had been from touching herself with his name on her lips.

She stepped into the shower, letting the hot water cascade down her shoulders and then the rest of her body. Her mark started to tingle as the water ran over it. Shit. MJ looked up at the ceiling. If there was a god, he had a fucked sense of humor. Her legs started to shake as heat pooled in her core. “Fuck,” she moaned quietly, sinking to the floor. Her whole body felt like it was on fire. She grabbed at her mark, trying the stop the water from hitting it, but it only made it worse, sending hot blades of pleasure down her body.

Her legs spasmed beneath her, completely out of her control, and she let out a small cry. She managed to claw her way up the wall and grab the shampoo, conditioner, and body wash, before sinking back to the floor. Pantene. For some reason that just seemed so Peter. She laughed a little to herself, but it turned into a low, throaty moan when she felt another wave of heat fly through her body.

She uncapped the bottle and squeezed the shampoo into her hand. Looking at the gooey, white substance, her mouth started to water. She licked her lips. What was going on with her? What was wrong with her mark? Why was it doing this to her?

She started to slowly massage the shampoo into her head. It felt really good. Too good. Her mark burned, her nipples were so hard its was starting to hurt and she just wanted Peter to barge in and help her finish.

She did her best to ignore it, rinsing out the shampoo and adding conditioner to her ends, then tying her hair up in a topknot with the hair tie on her wrist.

She had to wash her body next. Fuck. She started with her arms. Then her legs, though she didn’t get all the way up her thighs before she moved to her back.

Then, after her stomach, she moved her soapy hands down to the apex of her thighs and quickly tried to clean the slick from between her legs. It felt so good, and she could tell that it wasn’t just shower water collecting on the rest of her body now. By the time she finished, she was leaning against the wall panting and shaking.

She poured more body wash into her hands and moved them to her breasts. She had to bite back a scream when her hand came into contact with the small spider. It was like she was touching herself down there, except ten times stronger. She slowly rubbed the soap into her breasts, tears streaming down her face and hips bucking wildly. It was too much. She had never felt anything like this before. She thought the vibration in her body was going to kill her.

She thought about Peter and his abs, thought about running her hands along his chest.

“Peter,” she moaned softly, and a wave of pleasure cascaded over her as she climaxed. “Peter Peter Peter Peter Peter,” she chanted, thinking of that mussed up wet hair he had walked out with after his shower. She blacked out for a second, caught up in the pleasure so much that her vision stopped working.

Michelle collapsed against the wall, mumbling incoherently. Her orgasm last night had been nowhere near as strong. Something was definitely wrong with her, she decided. That was not normal.

She quickly rinsed off the rest of the soap and the conditioner in her hair, and turned the water off, grabbing the spare towel hanging next to the shower and furiously drying herself off.

Michelle pulled the sweats up her legs. She was about the same height as Peter, but he was a lot more muscular. God, when did he start working out?

Needless to say, when she pulled the t-shirt over her head it was huge on her. And it smelled like him, too. She felt her nipples start to harden again. How could she possibly still be horny after the orgasm she just had. She hated her body. She hated her stupid soulmark. She hated that she let herself think about her best friend inappropriately.

Michelle walked out of the bathroom. “Hey, Peter?” He looked up. “Do you mind letting me borrow another one of your t-shirts? I need to plop my hair,” she said.

“Yeah—yeah, of course,” he said. He sounded a little flustered as he got up and walked back to his dresser, opening the middle drawer and pulling out an I survived NYC shirt and handing it to her.

Michelle leaned over, shaking out her hair and wrapping it up in the shirt. When she stood back up, she found Peter staring a her, and she realized her shirt had ridden up to expose her stomach and the way his sweats hung low on her hips. She cleared her throat, and his eyes snapped back to her face, cheeks glowing pink. Honestly, teenage boys would literally jump anything.

When they were younger and Peter still had a bunk bed, MJ would sleep on the top, Ned on the bottom, and Peter on the floor with an assortment of blankets and pillows, but now he had a full.

Peter eyed the bed suspiciously. “I can take the floor, M,” he said.

MJ scoffed, “Don’t be ridiculous, Parker. There’s plenty of room on the bed for two people. I’m sleeping on the left, you can have the right.”

“But I always sleep on the left,” he protested.

“I don’t care. You can take the right.”

Peter looked rather uncomfortable at that, but he didn’t argue. Smart boy.

Michelle pulled back the covers and climbed into Peter’s bed. Her cheeks flushed at the thought. She kept reminding herself that they were two best friends having a sleepover. Nothing more.

When her head hit the pillow she realized just how tired she was. Last night she was up until midnight with Peter waiting for her mark. Then, after they had hung up, she stayed up thinking of him. Today had been long, too. Not to mention what had just happened in her best friend’s shower (ugh).

Needless to say, she was exhausted, and so, it seemed, was Peter, whose breathing turned heavy almost immediately after he closed his eyes. But not before he let out a final, “Happy Birthday, M.”

MJ buried her nose in her pillow and took a deep breath. Her eyes shot open. Fuck, it smelled like him. Now she wished she had just let him take his side of the damn bed. She closed her eyes and tried to breathe deeply. Quicker than she ever could have expected, she drifted off.

Part 3

#peter parker #peter parker fanfiction #peter x michelle #peter parker soulmate #michelle jones #soulmate #smut #fluff #spideychelle #au #best friends #soulmarks

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alphacrone · 4 years

Text

for it’s better to burn out than to fade out of sight (3/?)

rating: T pairings: Yuki & Tohru (platonic), Tohru/Kyo, Yuki/Machi, other canon pairings & friendships summary: In the end, it wasn’t sadness Yuki felt, when Tohru Honda had her memories erased. No, it was anger. And anger he could work with.

<< read previous chapter || read next chapter >>

iii. now my heart’s a frozen lake where streams used to flow

***

“Do you think wave-girl seduced him?”

Yuki paused at the mention of Hanajima. They were barely more than acquaintances, but Yuki didn’t like the tone the girls in the classroom were using. He leaned back against the wall and continued to listen.

“Ew, no way! But he seems close to that Honda girl…”

They were talking about Tohru? Yuki’s blood began to boil.

“How could someone so plain attract Prince Yuki like that! He deserves someone beautiful and utterly perfect .”

“Seriously. Do you think she...you know...with him?”

One of the girls gasped. “Don’t say something like that. The Prince wouldn’t do that with just anyone .”

Under his blind anger at these girls’ insults of Tohru, Yuki wondered just how they could make such assumptions about him . How could they know what would attract him? How could they know he wasn’t hooking up with anyone willing? Who were they to assume his own thoughts and feelings?

But...well, even if they didn’t have the right to think they knew him, how could they even begin to know him? Yuki was a creature of ice and snow, cold and hardened against the world. His heart was frozen solid, buried deep and far, far away from the light of day. He’d never let anyone close, really, only Hatsuharu on occasion.

And then, Tohru had appeared in his life. From the moment he’d found her in the woods, he knew what Prometheus felt gazing upon fire for the first time. Yuki wanted to steal this light for himself, keep her safe and far away from harm, but to be a Sohma was to be dangerous. It would be wise to leave her behind and retreat behind his walls, but Yuki was tired. He was tired of loneliness and tired of the cold, tired of watching the world pass by like a movie he couldn’t pause.

And Tohru was bright, and Tohru was warm, and Tohru was so unfailingly kind and loving, it made Yuki’s heart ache. What would happen to his heart of ice in the face of these new flames in his chest? Would he extinguish her light? Or would he thaw?

Yuki was a creature of snow and ice; would there be anything left of him when he melted?

***

Yuki wasn’t sure what he expected from Hanajima’s house when she invited him to study after school, but the normalcy of it did surprise him. He supposed it would be foolish to think she lived in some spooky, European mansion in the middle of the neighborhood, but against the backdrop of the average house she seemed more startling, like ink against a stark canvas.

“Hope you’re better at history than we are, Prince,” Uotani said, pushing hair from her face as they approached the front door. “I’m great at remembering formulas for math, but I can’t remember dates for shit.”

“Uo’s a math genius!” Tohru called over her shoulder, bouncing a little. “She can do really complicated equations in her head!”

“Eh, math’s just easy,” Uo said with a shrug. “Once you get how it works. Remembering dates and names for things that happened before I was born is confusing.”

Tohru blushed, but didn’t seem too embarrassed when she said, “I think it’s all confusing. But I like learning about the past. So many people have lived so many lives, it’s really interesting.”

Hanajima opened the front door and softly called, “I’m home.” The other girls parrotted her, and all three kicked off their shoes with a familiar ease. Yuki knelt down to remove his own as an older woman replied, “Welcome home!”

Uotani cast a grin at Tohru. “Well, if I’m a math genius, Tohru’s a home ec genius. Our girl can cook and sew like nobody’s business.”

“I kno-” Yuki caught himself before he could reveal he had, in fact, spent a few weeks eating Tohru’s cooking for every meal. “I see.”

“O-oh, it’s nothing,” Tohru sputtered, waving her hands around. Hanajima and Uo led them upstairs to Hanajima’s room, both smirking at Tohru as her face grew pink. “Cooking isn’t anything special like math.”

“I think it’s really special,” Yuki said honestly, readjusting his grip on his school bag. “I’m awful at cooking and cleaning. Most of my meals are take-out.” Of the three men in the house, only Kyo could cook, and he adamantly refused to cook for anyone but himself. After Shigure’s last attempt at cooking, he and Yuki had gone back to take-out and microwaveable meals.

Hanajima’s room was much like the rest of her house—unnervingly normal—but at least here there were touches of her darkness. The dark bedspread and curtains at least hinted at the macabre aesthetic of Kaibara High’s resident witch.

“O-oh, really?” Tohru said, sitting down at the small table across from the bed. “I’m sure you’re not awful.”

“Oh, no, I am,” Yuki laughed, sitting down next to her. “I burn everything.”

“Well, look at that,” Uotani teased, flopping down on Tohru’s other side. “Prince Yuki has a fault . Alert the fangirls, they’ll lose their shit.”

“All men are fallible,” Hanajima said evenly, dark eyes boring into Yuki. “To be perfect is to be inhuman.”

Yuki swallowed roughly. “I’m not sure what you’re talking about, but I guarantee I am incredibly fallible.”

With a snort, Uotani pulled out her notebook and reached around Tohru’s to softly smack Yuki with it. “We’re just giving you a hard time, Yun-Yun.”

“Yun-Yun?” Nobody called him that, except for Kagura when she wanted something.

“Uh, yeah,” Uotani said with a shrug. “I bet that’s what Kyoko would’ve called you.”

“Who?”

“Kyoko,” Hanajima said softly. “Tohru’s mom.”

“Oh.” There was a thick pause. Technically, everyone knew now that Torhu was an orphan, but Yuki wasn’t sure how many people knew how recently her mother had died. “Was she...a fan of giving people nicknames?”

All three girls smiled. “Yes, she was,” Tohru said fondly. “She’s why Uo and Hana go by Uo and Hana.”

“And she would absolutely love to tease you,” Uo said. “A little pretty boy like you wouldn’t have stood a chance.”

“She sounds...fun,” Yuki said.

“She was,” Uo agreed.

“Who’s this? I didn’t know you had more friends, Saki.”

Yuki turned to see a miniature Hanajima. Though his hair was short and his uniform that of the nearby middle school, the boy in the doorway looked exactly like his sister.

“Don’t be rude, Megumi,” Hanajima scolded lightly. “This is Yuki Sohma, our classmate. He’s going to use his status to gain us top academic scores.”

There was an uncomfortable silence, before Uotani laughed and said, “Prince Yuki is here to study with us.”

Tohru smiled at the boy. “Sohma, this is Megumi, Hana’s little brother.”

“Nice to meet you,” Yuki offered, but Megumi said nothing as he studied Yuki’s face.

“You have an unusual energy,” Megumi eventually said, face impassive. “Shall we have snacks?”

“Go get some rice crackers, kid,” Uo said. “You can join us if you study too.”

“Do you need help, Megumi?” Tohru asked. “I can help make tea.”

“Grandmother is already making some for you,” Megumi said. “I’ll see if she has any rice crackers.” He stood and left without fanfare, leaving Yuki feeling more stressed than he had earlier. What a strange boy .

“Love that kid,” Uotani said with a chuckle. “He talks like a old man.”

“When I was staying here, he’d offer to read me bedtime stories,” Tohru said. “It was very sweet, but funny coming from a little boy.”

“He’s an odd one,” Hanajima agreed. “I’m not sure where he gets it from…”

Yuki and Uotani exchanged a bemused look. “Alright, history,” Uotani said. “Someone quiz me.”

“I will!” Tohru grabbed her flashcards and held one up for Uotani. Yuki opened his own notes and tried to focus on them, but was quickly interrupted by Megumi returning with snacks and tea. The girls all cooed over him and told him to join them, so he silently squeezed in between his sister and Yuki, making no real effort to study as the high schoolers returned to their work.

“So, uh, Megumi,” Yuki said after a few minutes of Tohru and Uotani’s excited flashcard quizzing. “Do you also, uh...see waves?”

Megumi raised an eyebrow, but his expression did not change. “No. Saki controls waves.”

“Ah.” Yuki cleared his throat, unsure if he should continue talking.

“I, however, have studied the ancient art of curses,” Megumi continued, voice high and monotone. “All I need to curse a victim is their name.”

Yuki wondered if that was supposed to be a threat. Not that it mattered; he was already cursed.

“What do your curses do?” He asked, resting his hand in his palm. He glanced to the right, but Tohru was thoroughly absorbed in her flashcards, cheering every time Uotani got an answer correct.

“It depends,” Megumi said, not breaking eye contact. “Sometimes it renders the victim ill or in pain. Sometimes it causes them bad luck. Sometimes it makes them the target of negative energies.”

“What about...transformations?” Yuki asked, tapping his pencil against the table. “Can you curse someone to turn into an animal?”

“What, like a toad?” The boy looked unimpressed. “I’m not a witch.”

“I didn’t mean to imply you were,” Yuki backpedaled, holding his hands up in surrender. “It’s just...an interesting concept, don’t you think?”

Megumi tilted his head. “I suppose. To trap an enemy in a foreign vessel is a cruel torture.”

“But you’ve never…?”

“No.” Yuki felt his heart drop. “But it is a curious idea.”

It had been foolish to put any sort of expectations in this child Yuki had known for less than an hour. But just having someone outside his own family discuss curses so casually had sparked hope deep inside him.

Could there be others like him out there? Could this curse be broken? Could this curse be inflicted on someone else, a new family of unwitting monsters?

“Sohma!”

Tohru’s voice broke Yuki from his spiralling thoughts. She was smiling—she was always smiling—and pointed to one of her flashcards. “Can you help us with this one? The textbook gives two different dates for this, and we don’t know which is correct.”

Yuki took a deep breath and nodded, scooting over to look at the flashcards. He supposed it didn’t matter, really, if Megumi held the truth to his...hereditary affliction. For now, it was enough to sit by Tohru Honda and bask in her warmth.

***

Classes were over but Yuki had promised to help the class president with some budgeting, so he bid Tohru, Hanajima, and Uotani goodbye and headed towards the student council room, already dreading Takei-senpai’s overbearing nature.

As he crossed the walkway overlooking the school gate, Yuki noticed Tohru and Hanajima waving Uotani off as she sprinted off to get to her job on time. Tohru was laughing, swinging Hanajima’s hand as they meandered down the stairs at a slower pace. Yuki couldn’t help but smile at the scene, watching his friends—friends?—look so happy and carefree.

He turned to continue his return to the classroom when he noticed a boy standing a few yards away, eyes trained where Yuki’s had just been.

The kid was dark-haired and slouched against the wall, a couple file folders clutched loosely in his hand. He frowned, still watching Tohru and Hanajima. Yuki glanced at the girls again, noticing that Hanajima had separated from Tohru and Tohru now walked alone. Still, the boy’s gaze followed her, frown increasing, turning almost vicious.

It was that angry frown, Yuki would later claim, that spurred him into action. Crossing the walkway quickly and silently, Yuki dipped between the boy’s line of sight and Tohru, blocking her from view. The boy startled, blinking in surprise.

“Leave Tohru Honda alone,” Yuki hissed. “Whatever you want with her, drop it.”

The guy held his hands up. “Hey, hey, calm down, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You were watching her,” Yuki said, poking the boy in the chest angrily. “Leave her alone.”

“I wasn’t planning on starting shit,” the boy said. “Seriously, calm down, I’m not gonna hit on your girlfriend.”

“She’s not- Just- What do you want with her?” Yuki crossed his arm over his chest, face growing warm.

“Not that it’s any of your business,” the guy said with a smirk. “But she and I have a past.” He shouldered past Yuki, turning to add, “Don’t worry about it, Yuki Sohma. I’m not gonna talk to her.”

Before Yuki could respond, he winked and sauntered away, waving as if they’d just had a normal, casual conversation. Yuki sighed and glanced back out to where Tohru had been. She was gone, predictably, but a small part of him felt disappointed by her absence.

You’ll see her tomorrow , a small voice told him. This isn’t like before. She’s still here.

Yuki couldn’t stop the chill that ran down his spine. She was still here, for now. And Yuki would do whatever it took to keep her there, away from the clutches of the Sohma family and its curse.

#fruits basket fanfiction #fruits basket spoilers #fruits basket #furuba manga spoilers #yuki & tohru #anna writes things #x-posting from ao3

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thatesqcrush · 5 years

Text

First Time Hijinks

Harvard! Rafael Barba x Reader. Using two prompts from here: # 6. “I wasn’t expecting it to be… THAT big.” and #28: Babe, I’m never gonna finish this work if you keep doing that.” as requested by @garturbo - companion piece to Study Buddies, found here.

AN: To avoid any squick, I am placing Rafael/reader in their early 20s.

CW: language, making out/suggested language.

Word count: 1827

Tags: @madpanda75 @ottosuricato @delia26 @dreila03 @sass-and-suspenders @glimmerglittergirl @melsquared79 @mommakat32 @garturbo @southern-magnolia @niyashell @tropes-and-tales - anyone else just ask.

“So, is today the day?” your roommate Sheila asked you, as she grabbed her books. As she shoved the books in her bookbag, she looked over at you. You looked at her quizzically. “You know! You and Rafael...” she clicked her tongue while giving you a playful nudge. “I don’t know. I hope so. We’ve been taking things slow,” you replied, as you shrugged on your Harvard sweatshirt. “I am about to combust if I had to be completely truthful. He’s so...! One look with those green eyes and I want to melt.” “Make the move! He’d be nuts to turn you down,” Sheila replied, grabbing a water bottle. “You know my folks are coming into town tonight and I am going home for the weekend. So you’ll have the whole room to yourself.” You nodded as you pulled your hair into a ponytail. “Okay; we’ll see.” *** Your heart thumped loudly in your chest as you approached your boyfriend who was sitting against a tree in the main quad. His nose was deep in Legal Ethics, a highlighter hanging off his mouth. “Hey there stranger,” you greeted. Rafael looked up at you and his green eyes lit up at the sight of you. He dropped his book, and put the cap on his highlighter so he could stand. He tossed the highlighter to the grass. “Hey,” Rafael acknowledged. He pulled you in for a chaste kiss on the lips. You looked up at him, and smoothed his hair which was tussled, likely due to him running his hands through his hair when he was stressed, which for him, was often. Your hand grazed his cheek and you ran your thumb against it, stroking it softly. Rafael closed his eyes and turned his face into your palm, pressing a kiss into it. Smiling, you pulled away so that you could walk past Rafael and sit on the blanket he had been sitting on. “How goes the studying?” You asked as you opened your own books. Rafael sighed, frustrated. “It’s going.” He sat next to you and the two of you began to do your work. “We look like an old married couple,” you murmured as you reached for your glasses in your bag and slipped them on. Rafael pressed a kiss to the top of your head, chuckling. An hour later, your eyes were beginning to glaze over from reading and re-reading your notes for your upcoming quiz. Rafael was still in deep thought, and you watched him cross reference his notes with the textbook. Looking around to make sure no eyes were on you, you cuddled closer to Rafael and raised the bottom half of the blanket so that it covered you. “Cold?” Rafael asked, still engrossed in his work. “Something like that,” you purred, remembering your roommate’s advice. You slipped your hand to the front of Rafael’s jeans, and rubbed. Rafael shifted and looked at you, his eyebrow raised. You could feel him harden your palm, so you continued your ministrations. “Babe, I’m never gonna finish this work if you keep doing that,” Rafael coughed, shifting once more. “Well, why don’t we go back to my dorm, and we can finish there? Sheila’s gone for the weekend.” You moved your hand and Rafael bit the inside of his cheek at the loss of contact. Rafael let out a deep breath. He looked at you intently, “Are you sure?” You nodded. “Never more sure.” Rafael pressed a kiss to your lips. “Then tonight. I really need to finish this though.” Seeing your crestfallen face, he added for good measure, “I want our first time to be special; not rushed. Plus you have a quiz to take in 10 minutes. You pressed another kiss to his lips and then gazed at your watch. “Shit, you’re right. I have to get to class. I’ll see you tonight. Wish me luck.” You both said your goodbyes. Rafael watched you take off. He had a nervous knot in his belly. The last person he had been with was Yelina right after graduation. Alex’s family had thrown a graduation party for Los Tres Mosqueteros de Jerome Avenue. They all got drunk on peppermint Schnapps and Coronas. Yelina led Rafael to the bathroom and against the sink, among the shampoo bottles and mouthwash is how he lost his virginity. On and off, the summer leading to college, they continued but once Rafael left for Harvard, Yelina had no further interest in pursuing anything. All Yelina had done was criticize him. The one saving grace, in his own personal opinion, was that he happened to be well endowed. And now, Y/N, his wonderful girlfriend wanted to take their relationship to the next level. Rafael ran his hands through his hair, stressed. He was your stereotypical broke college student without two pots to piss in, at Harvard on a full ride. “How on Earth,” he wondered, “...am I going to make it special?” Sighing, he found he couldn’t concentrate any further. Initially he decided to head back down to his room, but then he decided to take a detour to off campus. He was going to make tonight special, regardless of whatever Yelina thought of him. *** You sighed, as you swiped your key card to your dorm. Your final year meant tons of seminars, each class longer than last. You had gone to Rafael’s room but your knocks went answered. You assumed that your boyfriend was busy at the library. You were tempted to find him and distract him, but you didn’t dare. You knew for Rafael, his studies were important. So imagine your surprise when you walked in to your room and found your boyfriend sitting in the common room, with flowers in hand. “Rafi? What’s going on?” you questioned. “I - I hope you don’t mind. You said I could use your key code anytime,” Rafael replied. You look at the room, there was at least two other bouquets set up. And candles. Lots of them. “Of course not. Wait, what’s going on? I thought you’d be at the library,” you continued shutting the door behind you. You dropped your shoulder bag to the floor and placed your ID on the top of the mini fridge. “Earlier, I thought you wanted to... so I...” Rafael sputtered, his cheeks flushing. You smiled brightly. “That’s right.” You approached Rafael, placing your hands on his chest. “I did. And I do.” You sealed the distance between your bodies and pressed a kiss to him. The kiss was hesitant at first, but grew with intensity. Rafael reached down to grab your butt, squeezing tightly. You groaned and pressed into Rafael. As Rafael began to kiss down your neck, you realized something smelled awful. You pushed Rafael away. “Do you smell something?” Rafael crinkled his nose, and covered his face with the sleeve of his shirt. “I do...” He searched the room with eyes, until he noticed the source of the offending smell. “The candle!” he shouted. One of the candles was just a little too close to wall hanging, which started to catch on fire. Before either of you could react, the alarm signaled and the overhead sprinkler system went off. You both yelped as water came down from overhead. Rafael climbed onto your desk and reached up to turn off the knob. By the time it was off, the door had swung open and you found yourself staring face to face with your RA and a public safety officer - they were both less than pleased. *** You and Rafael were both written up and you were on the hook to pay for any damages incurred. Luckily there were nothing major, just a damp carpet and some wet textbooks that would eventually air and dry out. Rafael sat on your now damp bed, his head in his hands. “I just wanted to make tonight special for us.” You sat next to him, placing your head on his shoulder. “Oh Rafi, I know. But, it will be special because it’s us.” You looked up and gave him a sympathetic smile. Rafael looked down at you and smiled. “You’re absolutely right.” “Of course I am,” you teased. “Obviously,” you added for good measure, rolling your eyes. You stood up and grabbed clothes from your drawer. “Let me change and lets get out of here.” Rafael nodded and watched as you stripped off your soaked clothes. He swallowed hard as he took in your semi-nude form. You caught him staring in the mirror that hung off your door and you smirked. “See something you like?” you turned, slipping on your jeans, slightly bouncing as you did so, as you shimmied them on. You thought it was absolutely endearing how Rafael’s ears turned pink. “Yes,” Rafael quipped in return. “Very much so.” “Then lets get out of here.” You pulled Rafael up and the two of you headed to his room. *** You groaned as Rafael sucked on the hollow of your neck. Rafael gently leaned you back so you were laying on his bed. He pulled back up, his arms outstretched on your sides. Rafael looked down upon you, your hair had fanned around you, creating an almost halo like effect. Your lips were parted, slightly swollen from your make out session. Rafael’s gaze moved further south towards your rib cage, which expanded and deflated with each breath. You breasts were encased in a soft pink bra and Rafael was eager to see the flesh the encased. His erection strained painfully against his jeans. He went to kiss you once more, but Yelina’s words rang in his ear. You noticed Rafael’s hesitation and could see something was worrying him. You pushed yourself so you were sitting up, leaning on your elbows. “Rafi, what is going on? Are you okay?” Rafael sighed, before proceeding to spill everything about Yelina. You sat fully up and drew your knees to your chest, listening to Rafael intently. By the time Rafael finished pouring his heart, he felt deflated - both physically and emotionally. Your eyes narrowed. “Whoever this Yelina chick is, she can go fuck right off,” you replied sternly. “She should be so lucky that I haven’t met her. She is missing out on someone so wonderful! Better for me,” you finished with a chuckle. But then, you softened, and reached for Rafael’s hand. “Rafael, I am not that experienced either. We will figure out a rhythm, so to speak.” Rafael gave your hand a squeeze. “Are you sure you want to do this? No pressure, I promise.” He searched your eyes for any hesitation. You pushed Rafael back, and climbed over him. Reaching behind, you unhooked your bra and flung it to the floor. “What do you think?” *** You stroked Rafael’s chest hair, as you laid on his chest, listening to his thumping heart. Both of you were sweaty and out of breath, from your intimate actions. “That was... wow,” Rafael managed to get out between breaths. You nodded. “Yes. Yes it was. But, can I just say, I wasn’t expecting it to be… THAT big.” Rafael moved so he was sitting up, propped on his side. “Are you complaining?” His hand ghosted over your abdomen and you could feel your skin prickle. You smiled and wrapped your arm around Rafael’s neck, simultaneously pulling him down while you leaned up to kiss him.

FIN

#rafael barba x reader #barba x reader #rafael barba fanfic #rafael barba and reader #barba and reader #my writing #my fics #rafael barba imagine

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uncloseted · 4 years

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What is the best way to find what career path you should take in life? I know ultimately its a choice I’ll have to. make myself but I lack direction and seem to have multiple interests (in like everything...), I wish there was a way to pinpoint what my realistic options were like a place or a site that would take into account my interests, my desired salary, my actual skills, etc.?

So first things first, I think it’s important to say that your field of study/career doesn’t necessarily have to be your passion (and for that matter, what you study at uni doesn’t necessarily dictate your future career- a lot of people have degrees they never use). I know that many of us have been sold this idea that a career can only be satisfying if it’s our “passion”. I think that’s a convenient narrative for aggressively capitalistic countries (the US being the biggest offender) because it sets a standard that we should be willing to do anything for our passion-career (unpaid internships, working for less than our labor is worth, doing unpaid work, putting up with toxic work environments, unreasonably long commutes…), since we’re not doing it for the money, we’re doing it because we genuinely love our jobs. Maybe your passion is making dolls from corn husks or golfing or people watching or something else that’s not easy to monetize, and that’s totally okay. It’s okay to have a job that you don’t love and aren’t super dedicated to because it allows you to do the things you do really love. Your work shouldn’t have to be your life- work should allow you to live your life.

Anyway, I do have some thoughts about how to find a career that works for you, whatever that might mean. First, I would look into the Japanese concept of ikigai- your “reason for being”.

When searching for your ikigai, I would suggest making a list (no matter how short), of the things you love, the things you’re good at, the things the world needs, and the things you can be paid for. Look for overlaps in each category, and try your best to think creatively about how you can combine the different categories. For example, maybe you love movies, you think the world needs to know about global warming, and you’re good at organization. Your ikigai in that case might be to be a coordinator on documentaries that focus on global warming. It’s a job that pays pretty well, and also incorporates the other sections on your list, so it’s likely to feel fulfilling.

Moving away from ikigai, there’s this story that I think about a lot. One of my great uncles told it to me, and I always assumed it was a story from his life until one day I discovered it was actually a chain email called The Parable of the Mexican Fisherman and the Banker. I still think about it a lot, though, and it’s shaped the way I view work, so maybe it will be useful to you as well. It goes like this:

An American investment banker was taking a much-needed vacation in a small coastal Mexican village (in my uncle’s story, the fisherman is from Kalymnos and he dives for sponges) when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. The boat had several large, fresh fish in it.

The investment banker was impressed by the quality of the fish and asked the Mexican how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied, “Only a little while.” The banker then asked why he didn’t stay out longer and catch more fish?

The Mexican fisherman replied he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs.

The American then asked, “But what do you do with the rest of your time?”

The Mexican fisherman replied, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos: I have a full and busy life, señor.”

The investment banker scoffed, “I am an Ivy League MBA (in my family the school is always Harvard), and I could help you. You could spend more time fishing and with the proceeds buy a bigger boat, and with the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats until eventually, you would have a whole fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to the middleman you could sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You could control the product, processing and distribution.”

Then he added, “Of course, you would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City where you would run your growing enterprise.”

The Mexican fisherman asked, “But señor, how long will this all take?”

To which the American replied, “15–20 years.”

“But what then?” asked the Mexican.

The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You could make millions.”

“Millions, señor? Then what?”

To which the investment banker replied, “Then you would retire. You could move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”

The question that this story prompts for me is, if you had unlimited time and resources, what kind of life would you lead? Where would you live? What would you spend your time doing? Who would you be with? Would you have pets? Kids? What would your daily routine look like? Maybe the answer for you isn’t a university degree or an office job. Maybe it’s not millions. Maybe it’s diving for sponges on a Greek island or being a fisherman in Mexico. I think it can be helpful to put together an image of that perfect life and then try to reverse engineer the best way of getting there instead of putting the onus on the job you have to shape what kind of life you want to lead. Maybe you really want to have kids, so you need a job that will have a good parental leave policy or that has flexible hours or that will pay enough to support the family you want to have. To me, those considerations are just as important as whether or not you feel interested in the job you do every day.

I would also think about the opposite- what kind of life could you absolutely not stand living? What kind of workplace would drive you crazy? Knowing what your “hard nos” can help you to narrow down the potential field of options. For example, my hard nos include anything to do with venipuncture, jobs that require me to be organized on behalf of other people, anything that’s heavy on performing/public speaking, jobs where people have high expectations of me (incidentally, this is the reason I’m not a therapist), and any environment that wants me to work more than 40 hours a week. For some people, all of those are totally doable, but for me they’re not, and that’s okay. There’s no reason to spend your life doing things that make you miserable.

The last thing I’m going to suggest is the CareerExplorer quiz. I like this quiz in particular for a few reasons. First, it’s a really comprehensive test, and so I think it can help you find the language to describe what you’re going through, what your hard yesses and hard nos are, and what you need in a work setting. Even if the answers the test gives aren’t perfect, I think it provides a framework to think about career options because of the questions it asks. The other reason I really like this test is because so far it’s been 100% correct for everyone I know, even those with more obscure careers, so it seems to be more exact than other career aptitude tests out there. And the user interface is really nice as well, which is a bonus.

Hopefully some of that is helpful in your decision making process. And if you ever want someone to bounce ideas off of or help coming up with careers that might be a good fit for you, I’m happy to help.

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angelsfalling16 · 4 years

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The Thin Line Between Pretending and Actually Loving You - Chapter 4

Chapter 1 || Chapter 2 || Chapter 3 || Read on ao3

Summary: Simon and Baz learn more about each other and maybe even grow closer.

Word Count: 2373

A/N: I actually managed to write this chapter pretty quickly. I only did a quick edit, though, so I'm sorry for any mistakes!

***

Baz

“Games? That’s how we’re going to get to know each other better?”

“Do you have a better idea?”

“Yeah. We could simply talk to each other and learn things that way. You know. In the same way you would normally get to know each other.”

Leave it to Simon to try to ruin my plans. And come up with a better, more obvious, way to go about doing things.

I rather like my idea, though. It won’t feel so forced, and I feel like it will be easier to open up to each other if we have something to guide us.

“You and I have never really been normal around each other, have we?” I point out. “We have never been that great at communicating, and we have never gotten along.”

“Then, why did you agree to this? If you honestly believed that we would never be able to pull this off, why did you accept my offer?”

“I didn’t really have any other choice.”

Simon is obviously hurt by my words, and I wish that I could take them back. I don’t want to hurt him, but I can’t tell him the truth either. That I accepted his offer because I liked the prospect of spending more time with him.

I can’t let him know that the pretending isn’t what’s difficult for me. It’s the part where I try not to cross the line between pretending and showing him that I actually love him.

The reason that I struggled to act like a couple around Dev and Niall is because I’m holding myself back. I have to find a good balance, and I am hoping that these games will help. I just need to find a way to get closer to Simon without falling further in love with him.

“Look,” I say, softening my voice. “if you want to back out of all of this, I understand. I will tell my friends the truth, and you and I can go our separate ways once more.”

Once again, I’m giving him an out. And once again, he doesn’t take it.

“That’s not what I want!” I’m surprised by his tone. He almost sounds…upset.

But that doesn’t make sense. Why would he care whether we continue this ruse? It’s not like he is getting anything out of it. He only offered to do this because… Well, I’m not really sure.

It doesn’t seem like he would do this just so we could get the chance to start over. We could have tried that without him pretending to be my boyfriend. Maybe he thought that I would never agree to trying to be friends. Not after everything that I put him through.

“What do you want then?” I ask quietly.

“I want to get to know you, but I don’t understand why all of this has to be so complicated.”

“It is not complicated. I actually thought that playing games would be more fun than forced conversation,” I admit, and I can see him starting to give in.

Simon

I don’t know about fun, but these games are certainly interesting.

They aren’t even games exactly. They are quizzes that Baz found online for us to take. They’re supposed to tell us how well we know each other.

I don’t need a quiz to tell me that I don’t know anything about Baz Pitch.

I spent four years living with him, but we spent so much time antagonizing each other that we never took the time to learn anything about each other. We shouldn’t have even continued to be roommates after the first year of college. I could have requested a different roommate or moved into an apartment or a different dorm, but I chose to stay.

I feel for him, and I couldn’t imagine leaving him.

It makes me wonder why Baz chose to stay. I know it wasn’t for the same reason, no matter how much I wish it was. He was probably just worried that no one else would want to room with him if they heard how awful he had been with me.

It weird to think that I feel for a boy who I apparently know nothing about, I realize as I fail the second “how well do you know your partner?” that I’ve taken today.

I only got 6 out of 22 points, which is pretty much the worst that you can do. My results tell me that our relationship could stand some improvement. (Obviously.) It also says, “Perhaps you never had the time or the tools to really get to know each other.” That is actually pretty spot on.

Like Baz said, we never figured out how to get to know one another. We always struggled to just sit down and talk, which I guess is why Baz thought these quizzes would help us. I don’t know how this is supposed to help, though.

With a sigh, I shut my computer and slump down into the corner of Baz’s couch before voicing my concerns to him.

“I don’t understand how this is going to help me get to know you. If anything, it has solidified the fact that I don’t know you at all.”

“That was just the beginning,” he says, looking up at me from his own quiz. “To see where we stand. Don’t worry, I didn’t do much better.”

I’ve never seen Baz act so calmly about failing a quiz, and it makes me wonder what score he actually got. Surely, he doesn’t know me better than I know him.

“Here,” he says, clicking something on his computer. “I have another quiz that we can both do. Write down your answers on a piece of paper and answer how you would answer them about me and then about yourself. I will do the same, and then, we will compare our answers to see what we got right.”

“So, now you are going to grade me on how well I know you? Why, so you can judge me?”

“No. That way we know what we need to talk about, what we need to learn about each other.”

“Fine. But I get to choose the next quiz we do.”

“Deal.”

Baz sends me the link to the quiz and finds me a notebook and pencil, and I move to stretch out on the floor while I answer this set of questions.

There are only 21 questions here. Is that really enough to test how well we know each other?

I suppose we’ll find out.

Reading the first question, I am already doubtful of the helpfulness of this quiz.

What’s your partner’s least favorite body part?

Why would I know that? I don’t even know what my least favorite body part is.

After considering this for a minute, I decide to go with his nose because I’m sure that every time he looks at it in the mirror, it reminds him of me. It’s crooked from that time I punched during a particularly vicious argument that we got into our first semester. The last thing Baz would have wanted was a reminder of me, the person he used to hate.

I continue on through the questions. The next two give me a little bit of trouble, but four and five are easy.

Did your partner have a nickname as a child? What was it? Bonus point: Did they like the nickname? Why? and Which of your partner's aunts or uncles are they closest to?

Baz is his nickname that we was given when he was younger, and I’m assuming that he likes it because he still uses it. And his favorite aunt is Fiona. She’s just as awful as Baz used to act. Whenever she came to school to visit, I made sure to stay away from our door. Baz by himself was bad enough to deal with.

I guess on a lot of the questions, and there are some that I just don’t have the answer to. Like, Name two of your partner's grandparents. I can’t even name one of them. And what is your partner’s favorite smell? Why would I know that?

I didn’t even know that I had a favorite scent until after I graduated college. Until I left our dorm and realized that I missed the familiar scent of it. And then it wasn’t until a while later that I realized that the scent was Baz and his posh shampoo. Cedar and bergamot.

I can’t write that as my own answer, though, because that would mean admitting that I like the way Baz smells. I absolutely cannot do that, so I write down cherry scones for myself and leave it blank for Baz.

It takes me about ten more minutes to answer the rest of the questions. Baz is already done, and I’m not sure if that’s because he had an easier time answering the questions or if he left several of them blank, like I did.

Baz

Some of the answers that Simon wrote down are completely absurd. For example, when it asked what your partner did during the summer as a child, he said that I spent them travelling the world and exploring castles.

He was pretty surprised when I told him that I spent most summers working on a farm with my father’s family. Apparently, he thought that I had never done any kind of physical labor in my life.

I won’t say that I did much better than Simon, but at least I tried.

A lot of these questions would be impossible to answer unless you had spent a lot of time with your partner. Something that Simon and I have definitely never done. They do help me learn a bit more about him.

I find out that Simon secretly likes country music, which makes me almost stop being in love with him. He says that, in his defense, that’s mostly what he listened to while in group homes. It’s what the other boys liked to listen to, so it’s what he was exposed to the most.

I decide to forgive him this opinion since he didn’t really have a choice in the matter but make a mental note to try to expand his music taste later on.

I also find out that he is afraid of dying alone. He has felt so alone for so much of his life that he hopes that when his life ends that he will have finally met someone who will always be there for him. It doesn’t have to necessarily be a romantic partner, but he wants to have someone in his life who he knows won’t abandon him.

I wish that I could help him find this. I want to be someone who makes him feel like he belongs somewhere, but I’m not sure that he would want me to be that for him.

I feel bad for always be so cruel to him when we were younger, and I decide now that even if this whole fake dating thing fails, I am going to do my best to make up for the way that I treated.

As we go through the rest of the questions, Simon and I both admit to things, both serious and not, before Simon searches for another quiz for us to go through.

“What about this one?” He asks, turning his computer screen towards me.

“340 is a lot of questions,” I say, reading the title.

“We don’t have to answer them all. Like you said, it’s only to get a conversation started.”

“Alright,” I agree. “Ask me the first question.”

He smiles quickly at me before turning his computer back towards him so that he can read it.

“What is my middle name?”

“That’s not fair. You don’t even know the answer to that.”

“Actually…”

***

The quiz that Simon turns out to be a great way for us to learn about each other. We learn a lot of small things about each other, but those things build up to a bigger picture that help me better see Simon for the amazingly sweet person that he is.

It also gives Simon the opportunity to open up to me about what he has been doing these past couple of years.

Apparently, he did find out more about his birth mother. The man he suspected to be his father really is his birth father, but he passed away before Simon took off on his little adventure.

Knowing who he was helped him find out who his mother was.

Her name was Lucy Salisbury, and she grew up in a small town with Simon’s father, David. She passed away during childbirth, but she got to name Simon before he was born.

Simon Snow Salisbury.

Not only is it nicely alliterative, but it also means that what Simon thought was his last name is actually his middle name.

I’m not sure where exactly Simon found all of this information, but the way he talks about it, it seems like he feels a little bit more whole knowing where he comes from, and I am happy for him.

Learning about his mother evidently is what made him change career paths. He thought that working with children who came from similar backgrounds as him would help, but now, he thinks that he wants to get away from his past, to try to move on from it.

He still wants to work with children, though, which is why he is going back to school to get a teach degree. I think that it is a lovely idea, and his reasons for it are touching.

The whole point of this was simply to get to know more about Simon, and even though I feel like I have accomplished that, I think I also fell more in love with him, the one thing I didn’t want to do.

Hiding my feelings from Simon is going to be difficult, but as we talked about our families, I realized that it’s going to be even worse when I have to introduce him to my family at Christmas.

Luckily, I still have some time before then. Time to prepare myself and find a way to better protect my heart.

***

Thanks for reading and happy holidays, everyone! <3

I took the questions from real quizzes that I found so here are the links to them:

How well do you know your partner?: https://www.gottman.com/how-well-do-you-know-your-partner/ 21 Questions to Test How Well You Really Know Your Partner: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-practice/201607/21-questions-test-how-well-you-really-know-your-partner 340 How Well Do You Know Me Questions: https://www.luvze.com/how-well-do-you-know-me-questions/

#snowbaz #snowbaz fanfiction #simon snow #baz pitch #carry on #wayward son #rainbow rowell #christmas fake dating #my writing

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noelacciari · 5 years

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alright this is kinda bad but I'm gonna ask anyway. so I'm a new/casual hockey fan and this girl I'm friends w is super into hockey and I'm kinda having to bluff my way through convos rn so could you give me a basic summary of the roster and stuff pls :)))

okay babe, so this is how we’re gonna set this up for you… personality quiz style. (also wait I’m assuming you mean Bruins so. im very sorry if this was about another team lol)

Step 1: pick your star

- Do you strive for perfection? Do you look for stability in a relationship? Can you appreciate a good beard? Do you need a perfect man to project all your feelings regarding men onto and then you never have to even look at another man in real life? Then Patrice Bergeron is the guy for you. He’s perfect. Like legit. Has been nominated for the Selke Award (best defensive forward) approximately a gazillion times, eventually they’re going to change it to The Bergy. Gorgeous play maker, dominate on the face-off circle. Quiet leader in the room. A pillar of the Boston community. The only person who can tame Marchand (we’ll get to him later). Every person in New England is AT LEAST 30% in love with him, regardless of sexual orientation. (I’m not even kidding). Future Hall of Famer. Without a doubt. (Forward (Center), #37, first line)

- Do you enjoy carbs? How about charming smiles? Do you enjoy men who toe the lines of fashion? Do you like a show, flashy lights and stunning tricks? Do you like people who make you smile, no matter how bad your day is? Then David Pastrnak is your man. Better know as Pasta (said with a deep Boston accent), he’s been tearing up the ice from the moment he arrived in TD Garden. A member of the Best Top Line in the League (alongside Bergeron - and that other guy who we will get to later). His goals are always absolutely nasty, just. Sexy, sexy hockey. Off the ice he’s sunshine personified, known for his chipped tooth smile, wearing checked suits and floral shirt, and just being generally the best. (Forward (winger), #88, first line)

- Are human sized chipmunks something you think would be pretty cool? How do you feel about Long Island? Would you think it’s funny if a guy who was a star player on a Boston team dated the daughter of a Pittsburgh coach? Do you think it’s even funnier if a guy who tweeted “I hate the Bruins” then proceeds to get drafted by them? Then Charlie McAvoy is your star d-man. At the ripe old age of 21, Long Island native Charlie McAvoy already carries a huge chunk of responsibility on the Bruins defense core. A future leader for the team (captain. imo), Charlie puts up incredible minutes, and is the perfect complement to his d-partner Zdeno Chara (we’ll get to him too). Also known as Cheeks (on tumblr) or Mac (by his teammates), Charlie isn’t afraid to throw his weight around on the ice, and he looks good doing it. Dude is a Bonafide Stallion. (Defense, #73, 1st Pair)

Step 2: Pick your Dad

- Are you vegetarian? How do you feel about EXTREMELY tall men wearing easter bunny onesies? Do you prefer to bike to work instead of taking the train? what about pigeons? If you consider pigeons friends, then Zdeno Chara is your new dad! (Boogie Woogie Woogie). You know how Bruins fans like to say - Don’t Poke The Bear? Well Big Zee is that hypothetical bear. Our beloved captain and father earned himself quite the reputation on the ice, known for his hard AF slap shots and even harder punches. Clocking in at 6′9″ and 250lbs, Zad is still a beast at 42 years old - and he apparently has no plans to retire. While his age doesn’t appear to be slowing him down on the ice, Zee has shown his softer side off the ice with his inspirational and extremely cute Instagram. He came into Boston in 2006 and was named Captain upon signing, and has forever changed the culture of the Boston Bruins. Chara facilitates an inclusive but hard working locker room, and his legacy will live on in Boston long after his retirement. (Defense, #33, first pair)

- Are you a dog person? Also are you American? Those are really the only 2 qualifications you need to chose David Backes as your dad. Although some of us older folks like me (at the stunningly old, reaching retirement age of 26) might consider Backes to be more of a daddy, the majority of Bruins tumblr view him as their Dad. Common nicknames include Dadkes and Papa, and his effect on the team after being brought back into the line-up during the playoffs has endeared him to fans. While his deal is… not great (he’s expensive!!) and he hasn’t performed up to how much money he’s paid, it’s clear that he’s a leader on the team. The young guys look up to him, and the older guys respect him, and that’s what we’s appreciates ‘bout him. Also. He LOVES animals. Backes and his wife Kelly (who have known each other since kindergarten how cute is that shit) have their own charity that helps animals!! (Forward (Winger/Center), #42, currently 2nd line)

- Were you really into magic as a kid (or currently)? Have you always gravitated to your one friend’s dad who was super quiet but super smart and taught you how to play chess at that cookout one time? Then your new dad is David Krejci! Sometimes called The Wizard, Krejci is known to make magic happen on the ice. Between no-look passes and somehow being able to know exactly where his wingers are going to be before they even know, tbh. Krej is probably the MOST underrated player on the Bruins, but he’s always dependable, and always seems to be there when you need him. (Forward (Center), #46, 2nd Line)

Step 3: pick your weirdo

- Have you never eaten a vegetable willingly in your life? Do you consider yourself a chef - specifically for children? Do you think getting your teeth knocked out is fun and exciting? Then Jake “JD” DeBrusk is the dude for you! Goofy AF off the ice and a sniper on it, Jake is extremely worthy of being your chosen weirdo. He has a lucky winter hat named “tuukka” that he’s been wearing all playoffs, and he might only have one brain cell but we love him for it. At one point called a draft bust, Jake has been proving himself to be an elite player, and has been a steady winger for Krejci all season. Plus. He’s cute af. (Forward (winger), #74, 2nd Line)

- Is getting under other people’s skin one of your favorite activities? Do you like to piss people off by being better than them at everything? Does licking someone’s face in the middle of a hockey game seem like a Good Idea to you? Back in step number one did you chose Patrice Bergeron as your Lord and Savior? Then Boston’s favorite Pest - Brad Marchand - is the guy for you! Brad started off as an undersized fourth liner, and has worked his way up to one of the top scorers in the league. Outside of Boston he’s probably the most hated player in the NHL - earning himself a reputation for being a pest (at best), and sometimes being dirty (at worst). This year we are proud to announce that he did not get suspended once! Though he did come in just short of 100 Penalty Minutes. Marchy was our top scorer this year, and has become an integral part of this team. (Forward (winger), #63, 1st Line)

- Are you secretly an arsonist? Are frogs your favorite animal? Do you have a crush on that Pretty Jock that’s in all your classes and sometimes smiles at you in the lunch line? Then Danton Heinen is the weirdo for you. Danton has been a quietly steady performer for the Bruins this season, spending time on the top line with Bergeron and Marchand when Pasta was out. He’s growing into quite the play maker, and he’s known for making good decisions on the ice that lead to goals. Danton also happens to look like a frog, which is an important character trait imo. He’s a tumblr favorite, but he’s a good person to like even in real life, because he makes an impact on the ice. (Forward (winger), #43, 3rd Line)

Step 4: chose your conventionally attractive white boy

- OKay we’re not doing the questions thing because judging by your ask you may not even be interested in men so i’m just going to dive straight into the description. He’s tall with a strong jaw and perfect curls and pecs of a God. Charlie Coyle is a Weymouth, MA native who Boston brought back home at the trade deadline. He’s been a bit of a hero this playoff run, and he looks damn good doing it. The B’s have been searching for a good 3rd line center, and Charlie has filled the role perfectly. Personally, I am deeply in love with him, in case you could not tell. (Forward (center/winger), #13, 3rd Line)

- an integral member of the Bruin’s all important Line 1A (aka the 4th line), Sean Kuraly has got it all. Piercing blue eyes? Check. Perfectly highlighted hair? Check. Cute little chin? Double check. Though he’s been photographed wearing jorts and an open flannel shirt with nothing underneath it, Sean is still a certified Babe. He’s been Klutch in every playoff run he’s had with the B’s, and is the scoring force behind the 4th Line’s brawn. Not to mention, his signature celly is a leap from the ice! (Forward, (center/winger), #52, 4th Line)

- Brandon Carlo… how do I begin to explain Brandon Carlo? Brandon Carlo is flawless. He has two bible tattoos and a designer bulldog. I hear his hair is insured for $10,000. I hear he does Tri-City Americans commercials… in Washington. His favorite movie is Miracle. One time he met David Backes on a plane… and he told him he was pretty. One time he punched me in the face… it was awesome (’cause he missed). In all seriousness though, Monte is a hardworking, defensive defenseman, who has really shone this season. He doesn’t show up on the scoreboard often, but he makes it really hard for other teams to get goals. Even though he struggles to score empty netters... he’s still a babe. (Defense, #25, 2nd Pair)

Step 5: Chose your shorty

- If you’re thinking - wait, shouldn’t Marchand be in this category? Isn’t he the smallest guy in the World? Then Torey Krug is the Short King for you. An ELITE offensive defenseman, Torey is absolute dynamite on the ice. In game 3 of the Stanley Cup Finals Torey made history by becoming the first Bruins player ever to record 4 points in a stanley cup finals game. Krug is quick on his feet and can snipe from the blue line, but isn’t afraid to lay down the law when he needs to. Notorious for loosing his helmet so he can show off that flow, Torey also has a bulldog named fenway and a BABY on the way. (Defense, #47, 2nd Pair).

- Is talk shit, get hit a favorite saying of yours? Can you appreciate biceps the size of your head? Then Noel Acciari is your man. He might be short but he’s built like a tank, and he uses that bod to plow through guys on the ice. Noeldozer is known for laying down the cleanest hits, and we love when he takes out the trash! The Rhode Island Native got married last summer, and has a golden retriever named Thor. His mouth is currently fucked right up but I promise he’s actually kinda pretty. (Forward (winger/center), #55, 4th Line)

- Are you one of the apparent hoards of people that think a Boston accent is sexy? Could you get into a guy who says the fuck word on live television? Are collarbone tattoos a thing you admire? Do you like sexy, tough little son’s of bitches? Great! Matt Grzelcyk is the little guy for you. A BU grad who’s become a cornerstone of the Bruins d-core, Grz is a tough little cutie who works hard and gets shit done. More of an offensive defenseman, Matty G has been there for the team even when all of our other defenseman were injured. His Dad has worked at the Gahden for like a million years, and playing for the B’s is a dream come true for Matt and his family. He got taken out in Game 2 of the Finals, and the Bruins are currently seeking revenge. Dude’s got a good beard going too. (Defense, #48, 3rd Pair)

Step 6: Pick your goalie

- As much as we love Jaro, there’s only one goalie you need to know about when you’re learning about the Bruins... 2 U’s 2 K’s 2 Points... Tuukka Rask! The clear MVP of the Playoffs this year, Tuukka has been a brick wall in the net for the B’s. He’s known for being quick tempered and a little... wild, at times, having been caught on camera beating the shit out of a bunch of milk crates and on time brandishing a skate blade at the refs like a knife. Though some fans seem to never forgive Tuukka for the B’s loosing the 2013 playoffs, around these parts we love and respect and rely on his prowess in the net. Off ice, he kinda looks like the grinch (and knows it), though apparently Bergy thinks he looks like Harry Styles (i wish i was kidding). He’s also got 2 adorable little girls! (GOALIE, starter)

So now you’ve got 6 guys that you know about, right? I would pick 1 or 2 of those to be the ones you pay attention to. Listen for headlines about their goals/play, if you’re watching games, look for their numbers on the ice. All you gotta do is be able to say “Wow did you see that Coyle goal on Saturday night?” and all of a sudden you sound like an expert! (This works even better of you choose a guy not from the first category).

If you have more questions about specific players or lines, feel free to reach out! I know not a lot but I know many people who actually do know things lol

(Also to any of Bruins tumblr who made it this far, I KNOW i’m missing your faves okay. Wagner, Clifton, Nordy, MoJo, Moore, and half the providence roster deserve a spot on here. But I’ve already written too much)

(Also Also, special thanks to Lil for helping me with Monte’s description)

#boston bruins #this was a labor of love #look i know not everyone will agree with my categories but i was trying to be succinct #mine #mine:bruins #anonymous #beth's got mail #bruins

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marcholasmoth · 4 years

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OSRR: 1937

so i totally intended to fall asleep like two hours ago, but i just got into a new webcomic and i read the entirety of what's been posted and i'm in love. it's so good. do i remember the title? absolutely not. it's one that i've seen ads for, though, the one with the golden merman and a mershark and it's cute and wholesome and so so good.

anyway, today was bleh. joel's shoulder is still hurting him from yesterday morning's collision, and i still feel really bad about it.

going about my day was normal. i got a little stressed during calc though, so i ended up packing up before everybody else so i could leave sooner than usual. i'd ordered lunch from panera about ten minutes before the end of class, and then when i got out i learned there was a free thanksgiving lunch that was being put on by the multicultural club, i think. it was a native american heritage luncheon, according to the flyers i saw on a table after the fact. i wish i knew about it before so i could've saved myself time and money, and i could've done something enriching with my time.

anyway, after class, i went to joel's and picked him up for game and went to the store and camped out to do some homework. i got almost two full sections done of my calc homework, so that's a good thing! i'm a little less behind. i still definitely have my work cut out for me, though. i think tomorrow i'll have to focus on linear algebra so i can take the quiz from two weeks ago or something sooner than later. i hate being behind.

anyway, during calc i wanted to gush about joel a little bit, so i did. we've been together for seven months as of today, so i told bekah and kat and hannah and demi about a few things and they responded that it was the cutest thing ever. i'm so happy with joel. i love him so much. i'm so in love with him. when he first told me he loved me, it was the first night we kissed. i was so happy to say it back because i knew i did. telling him i was in love with him though, i wanted to be sure. he told me about halfway through our first month together while we were driving around. the conversation went like this:

joel: i'm tired.

me: no, you're joel.

joel: no, i'm in love with you.

and i had no idea what to say. i wanted so desperately to say it back, but i wanted - needed - to be certain. so i took a few weeks and thought about it a lot, and i realized that when your first reaction to learning about something exciting or devastating or interesting is to share it with your person, you know you're in love with them. and that was what i wanted. i wanted to share everything with him first, good or bad. so i wrote him a letter for our one month, and delivered it to his house with a vase of yellow roses and yellow gerbera daisies - his and my favorite flowers in his favorite color. he still has the letter. he keeps it in the cavity in his headboard. he's kept all of the tiny love letters i've given him. they're scattered, but they're in the same place. it makes me happy that he keeps them. maybe he rereads them. either way, it means a lot to me.

and anyway, i'm the happiest i have ever been and it's partly because of him. i'm living my life on my terms. i'm doing what i want to do instead of what i feel pressured to do. and being with him makes everything better. it makes bad things bearable, and good things wonderful. it makes the everyday into something extraordinary. i guess love does that.

#molly rambles #operation srr #osrr #1000s #1900s #sunshine boy #im so in love with him

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zlucchesi-blog · 5 years

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Alphabet Narrative

A: This is a perfect place to start, not just because it is the beginning of the alphabet, but because the word that represents this letter is really where I began to read consistently. The letter “A” for me stands for “ARP” or “Accelerated Reading Program.” If you don’t know, this is a program for middle schoolers that requires them to read books and take tests and the harder the book is, the more points you get for each test. I was the champ at this. If you know me, you know that I am a very competitive guy. So competing for prizes against all my other classmates for ARP points was right up by alley. I won first place every year from the 5th to 8th grade. I loved reading at that time because I had a reason to read. Honestly, I do not know if it was not for ARP if I would have even opened a book during those years.

B: The letter “B” for me stands for bad habits. I have many bad habits in my life but this one is a big one. This bad habit is not just for literacy but for my whole life, but for this paper I will be talking about it just for literacy. My bad habit is procrastination. I just never want to sit down and read a book, write a paper, or read an online article that we may have a quiz on. That stuff just does not interest me to this day. I put it off until the very last minute. Sometimes, I just do not do it all together. If we are going to have a test or quiz over it, then I will do it either the night before or sometimes the morning of. If it is just an assignment though and no grade will come from it, I just will not do it. Procrastination is a bad habit for me, but maybe with the right teacher or guide, I can one day have interest and fix it.

C: College writing. It seems like a scary thing to me. Maybe, I just do not know what to expect or what I am getting myself into. High school writing was difficult for me at times, I can not imagine if college writing can be much harder than that. I have never been a good writer. My words do not string together well, I am not very good with grammar, and my ideas seem to drift. I hope college writing is not too bad. But if it is, I have plenty of experience with tough writing times from my past four years.

D: Deadlines always just seem to get me. I always fail to remember when they usually are. I will check my laptop at least four times before I fall asleep to make sure I turned everything I was supposed to in. Yet, I will always seem to forget one thing. I hate deadlines. They make me panic, nervous, and overall just super tense. I have gotten much better at making them. I use to be horrible. Deadlines are needed though to make sure people are held accountable for things. I just wish deadlines did not apply to me.

E: Essays are not my favorite in general, but this one instance was just awful. I call this my enormous english essay. I was assigned this in the 12th grade and it was a 10 page paper that we had a month to write. It was the worst. To top it off, we had to have a topic assigned to us by our teacher rather than pick our own. I can easily say that this was the hardest assignment I have ever had to attempt to do in my life. It really put a damper on the whole senior year.

F: Forgetfulness; This is a huge thing for me. This does not mean that I forget when stuff is due or deadlines to meet (even though I do). This means that when I am writing a paper I lose my train of thought so easily. I will have a great idea in my head and be ready to put it on paper and then it's just gone. I have no idea why this happens or what causes it to but it really does not help my already mediocre writing ability. I have a great memory with names, places, people, and memories so I really can't wrap my head around how this is different. I am not a fan of writing so maybe this is it just not liking me back.

G: One of the worst things that comes with reading in my opinion is getting books. First, buying books can get expensive. That stuff adds up quick and I wish I did but I do not have all the money in the world. Secondly, it is a hassle to do it. You either have to figure out and go through websites to purchase them or if it has to be hard copies, you have to drive and go to busy stores to do it. Overall it is just not a fun thing to have to do. The worst part is that I have had to do it for the past 9 years and it is definitely not for me.

H: Huck Finn; This was one of the best books I have read in my life but also one of the hardest books I have had to read. I read it in the 7th grade, which is a little young in my opinion to read that kind of book and understand it fully. I loved the book though, it had a great storyline and played out very well. I want to read it again now that I have some more years under my belt because I think I would appreciate it more. Twain is a great author but the only hard part was understanding the english in the novel. It was hard sometimes to grasp it but I made it through. Maybe I will put in the time again soon to learn some more about Huck and Jim.

I: In my head; I can never finish my papers like I want to. This is a big thing for me. I am always overthinking, and trying to fix these little things that I find in my writing that do not really matter. These makes me take longer and spend more time on my papers than I need or want too. I wish I could just sit down and knock out a paper in 30 minutes like some people can, but it just does not work like that for me. Something in my head just makes me think about simple stuff way to much. I just need to sit alone in my room, put my phone away, turn the tv off, and try and put my mind on what I am writing.

J: Joel McGraw. “The most known name to come out of Christian Brothers.” That name probably does not mean anything to the average person but it means a whole lot to me. This was my first highschool english teacher. He was the absolute best. He is a great man and a very good english teacher. I learned much from that dude its crazy. I hate english and it is usually not one of my best courses but he made it simple for the whole class. “Get out your notebooks,” he would say. We had to accomplish a 5 question quiz everyday and then would get straight to our daily work. I can still remember everyday walking in class and him saying “Lucchesi, good morning son.” I enjoyed each class very much which is not typical for me in english. I can honestly say that Joel McGraw changed the way I saw english.

K: Reading books just is not for me. I hate it. When I tell you that I would kill to be able to never read a book again in my life, it is the truth. I just do not see the point in reading. I guess you can say that it is to learn, or expand your vocabulary, or even to gain more knowledge. I just think you can do all those things not just by reading books. Books take a long time to read, sometimes you have to purchase them, and I do not have the patience to sit down and read. Overall I am just not a fan of books. Take it as you will, but to never read again would be right down my alley.

L: I have had many memories through the years about books and reading. I have already talked about some in my past passages. This may be my favorite of them all though just because of who and what it has to deal with. I would always keep this Memphis Tiger, blue, lamp on in my room when I was about ages 5 til 9. I would keep the light on past my bedtime and lay under the covers and read books all night, or at least attempt too. My mom would come in most nights, not even say a word, and just turn the lamp off. Night after night this would occur. I mean she can’t really get mad at me, I was doing something educational. That lamp brings back those memories of those long nights and I can look back and smile.

M: Magic Tree House; These were my favorite books when I was a little kid. I would stay up all night reading these books, read them during school, and go to the library to read them all the time as well. My mom would always take me up to the library right by my house and sit up there for hours while I read those books. I could knock out 2 or 3 in one sitting if I wanted too. All I remember from the books now is that it was some kids that would always go back in time and go on adventures with each other. I loved those books. If I had not read those books when I was little, I don’t know if I would have gotten into reading as much as I did.

N: Motivation is always something that is needed for me, especially when it came to reading and writing. This is not something new. I have never been able to sit down and just write and write. Usually the motivation that I have to do stuff like that is when they are due soon. That makes me rush and sit down and do what I have to do in order to make the grade. It is not the best way to go about things but it gets the job done. To this day I still have found not even one thing to make me want to write when I do not have to. I wish it was different but until then I guess I will just keep pushing the issue.

O- “Open Blanks.” I always need a lot of time to write. Like I said before, I always take a lot of time when I have a paper because my thoughts do not come out how I want. I always will type a little bit and then have a ton of open space and blanks where I do not know where to put stuff down. I hate this quality I have. It is like I have thoughts and want to express them in my paper and the next thing I know, I can not remember what I want to say. Eventually, I will figure something to write in these blanks, but it is never as good as I want it to be or starts out to be.

P: Poor writing has always been one of my strong suits. By strong suits, I mean I have always been a bad writer. I always get my work done when it is due but the writing sometimes is not always the best it should be. It is usually not very good when I am in a rush and pushing myself to make a deadline. Sometimes my writing is good though. If it is a topic that I am interested in and want to take the time to do something like that, then I will put effort into it. I really do need to change this way I go about writing though so that I can better myself.

Q: Quiet times; I need my peace and quiet for sure. Whether it is for writing or reading, or just when I am in a mood and having a bad day. Some days I just need to go in my room, lock the door, turn the lights off, and just lay there. Sometimes I am thinking about something and sometimes I am just laying there clueless. I love it though. If I am stressed over homework or need some time to get away from the world, I will do this. I have done it more times over papers that I have needed to write but I am too stressed to do so. The outcome is always the same though. Once I get my time in my room and my peace and quiet, I am sure to be better in the way I go about getting done what needs to get done.

R: Clifford the Big Red Dog was a staple in my childhood life. My mom started me out reading those books at a pretty young age. I loved them. Those were the first children's books I think that I read on my very own. My mom would sit with me in my room before I went to bed and just watch me. She would watch me read and read and I remember just looking up and seeing her smile so big at me. I loved those nights. I would beg her when it was time for bed to let me read one of those books. She would always say yes. I can honestly say Clifford the Dog made the childhood nights much better being able to read it with my mom.

S: Like I said before taking my time is a big thing for me in writing, but saving my progress is right up there with it. I have said how I can not focus for such long periods of time and just sit at a desk and write or type out a paper with ease. I have to do it in little intervals throughout a whole week or something. I am constantly having to save my drafts, take long breaks, and then I will eventually get back to writing. I do feel like the way I go about this does affect my writing in a better way. It gives me more time to think about what I want to say rather than just putting down random stuff on paper. Without saving my progress in my writing my thoughts and words would be all over the place.

T: Authors come and go with me. I would like some and want to just keep on reading their work all the time or I will have somewhere I just can not stand to read. One of them without a doubt is Mark Twain. Mark Twain is at the bottom of my list of authors to read. I just do not understand the way he writes in his novels. The language and vocabulary just do not sink right in my head when I am trying to read them. I have read two books by Twain and while they are good books because of the storylines, I can never appreciate them as much because of the way I read how Twain writes. Twain is one of the best authors of all time on many people's lists, but you will not find him very high on mine.

U: Ugly; Reading and Writing seemed to fit this adjective perfectly in my eyes. Something that just does not appeal to my eyes well and shows off no beauty whatsoever. Maybe I am biased but I just do not see the beauty that other people see in this literacy items. I have no fun doing them, they do not make me happy, and I would much rather do many other things than do them. This is what ugly usually means to me. I apologize to the people that do think literature and all that has so much beauty and awe. But this is my paper, I can write what I want, and say what I want to say. So I am going to say, yes, literature is ugly to me.

V: Visits to the library were always taken with my mom. They were fun do not get me wrong, but I would have rather gone to the playground or something. I guess because she reads so much that she thought maybe I would get into it. Wrong. Usually it would end up with her yelling at me for running around or messing around in the library and us leaving mad at each other. Books just were not my thing. I did not like being quiet and have to whisper somewhere. I was not like that. I liked running around and having fun and being loud. So the whole library scene and atmosphere was not my thing.

W: Wonder; Why do people read and write. I get it makes you smarter and you increase your knowledge and all that but I just do not get it. It seems like a waste of time to me. To sit in a room, open a book, read it for hours, and then that is it. You could be doing something so much more productive than that. Like working, helping someone else, or making yourself a better person. But instead you are wasting your time. All that comes from sitting in that room and reading that book is satisfaction. You get to figure out what happens at the end of the book and to judge whether you like that or not. Nothing else comes from reading a book by yourself. I just do not get it.

X: Big Red X’s; Throughout middle school and high school this was all that I seemed to see on my papers. They stood out so much to me. It was just telling me how I messed up, failed, was not good enough. But like I say time and time again throughout this narrative, reading and writing is just not my thing. These grades were just given so the teachers had their satisfaction of thinking that they had done their jobs. Which in reality, they had not done their job. Their job is to better each student in ways that relate to each one individually. These big red x’s on everyone’s papers just told us all that we failed. It was not the way to teach.

Y: Yes; Finally I was given a positive thing in my career of writing. My sophomore year I won an essay contest for my spanish essay that I had written. Each person in my honors spanish 3 class had to write an essay and submit it. Each essay would then go to an office in the country somewhere and be read by the judges. I was given a bronze prize for my essay and I was very happy about it. Spanish had always been very easy to me and I had a better understanding of it than most students but I never would have thought I would win an essay for it. I was just content and proud of myself that I had finally accomplished something good in the field of literature.

Z: Zachary Joseph Lucchesi; This is me. This is my narrative; I get that some of the stuff I said you will not agree with. Well good because I like to stir things up every now and then. But in all seriousness, I am just not a big literature guy. I do it when I have to and I barely make an effort while doing so. I liked this project though. My teacher did a good job by making us do this. It does feel kind of nice to put my thoughts on paper sometimes. Maybe one day I will never have to write a single paper again. One can only dream though. This is where it ends though. So hopefully this is 100 words but I will just add a few more to make sure, (I love english class very much and I hope this gets me to 100 words). See ya later.

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