Tumgik
#we honesty might be awake at 10
morning-star-joy · 1 year
Text
a stranger's heart without a home masterlist
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Pairing: rivals to friends with benefits slowburn Joel x F!Reader, Post-Outbreak
Fic Summary: Sleeping with Joel Miller was supposed to be a one time thing. When the older brother of your closest friend showed up in Jackson, you hadn't expected him to stay more than a day. You'd both given into a brief moment of passion before he left, and that was the end of that. It didn't matter, you were never going to see him again. Then Joel returns a few months later, and screws up everything about the comforting life you had established in Jackson.
Fic Tags: One Night Stands, Rivals into Friends with Benefits, Emotional Slow Burn (really slow), Eventual Romance, Mutual Pining Idiots, Angst & Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Found Family (lots of Tommy & Reader and Dina & Reader friendships), Long Chapters
Fic Warnings: Explicit Smut (18+ MDNI), Language, Canon-Typical Violence, Alcohol Use, Age Difference (Reader around 30, Joel 56) Themes of Grief/PTSD/Depression with mentions of death (family members, both Reader and Joel) that can be heavy at times, Specific Warnings in each Chapter
Status: Complete
ao3 link
official art by @cynibuns
tribute edit by @dundienominee
moodboard/graphic by @planet-marz1
Reader fanart by @mydzygro-art
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chapter 1: I am not the only traveler
chapter 2: the holidays linger like bad perfume
chapter 3: do I wanna know if this feeling flows both ways (18+ Smut)
chapter 4: there it is again, that funny feeling
chapter 5: break the silence; damn the dark, damn the light
chapter 6: and I'll never see you again if I can help it (18+ Smut)
chapter 7: look at us, you and I, back at it again (18+ Smut)
chapter 8: maybe I don't quite know what to say, but I'm here in your doorway
chapter 9: I thought that you’d be here by now (18+ Smut)
chapter 10: can the killer in me tame the fire in you?
chapter 11: this slope is treacherous, this path is reckless (18+ Smut)
chapter 12: you take what you get, and you turn it into honesty
chapter 13: burned out flames should never reignite, but I thought you might take me home (18+ Smut)
chapter 14: he built a fire just to keep me warm
chapter 15: speak to me until your history’s no mystery to me
chapter 16: and it feels good to be known so well (18+ Smut)
chapter 17: baby, it's Halloween, and we can be anything (18+ Smut)
chapter 18: yes, I'll admit that I'm a fool for you (18+ Smut)
chapter 19: either I'm careless or I wanna get caught (18+ Smut)
chapter 20: with your boots beneath my bed; forever is the sweetest con (18+ Smut)
epilogue (18+ Smut)
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(listed in order of how they occur after the main fic)
morning after chapter 20
waking up to oral (18+ Smut)
painfully domestic (kisses to get their attention)
lingerie & breeding kink (18+ Smut)
(epilogue takes place here)
half-asleep, half-awake (Joel POV companion piece to main fic)
not much I need (nonsexual intimacy)
kissing scars
easy, plaid-shirt mornings (18+ Smut)
would it be enough if I could never give you peace? (Reader's anxiety)
a feeling so peculiar (seasonal depression)
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chapter 13 sneak peek (Jealous!Joel's POV Date Scene)
chapter 13 scene (Jealous!Joel Smut after Date 18+)
chapter 13 cut endings (Angst af)
chapter 14 sneak peek (Reflection Joel's POV)
chapter 15 sneak peek (Totally Casual Drinks Between Friends)
chapter 16 sneak peek (Dina and Ellie Plan)
chapter 17 sneak peek (The Dance)
chapter 18 sneak peek (Joel Pines for You)
chapter 18 secret scene (Tommy finally fucking figures it out)
chapter 19 sneak peek (Tommy and Reader)
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fic playlist
MC playlist
Taylor-coded MC playlist (for my fellow Swifties!)
Joel POV playlist
3K notes · View notes
partypoisonzz · 1 year
Text
passenger princess (90s!trey parker x fem!reader)
Thanks to my beloved mutual @sqiblet for the title and inspiring the concept with a message they sent me a week or so ago.
Content:
- Road head (woohoo)
- Mean!Trey
- Degradation AND praise kinks
- Hair pulling
- Everyone's a switch and nothing hurts (except for when it's meant to)
Word Count: 2,826
Disclaimer: This explicit story was written by an adult for consumption by other adults only. If you are under 18, please do not read or interact in any way.
Hope you enjoy.
- Pen
-
You shift in the passenger seat, eyes opening slowly. Squinting at the clock on the dash through the dark, you find that it is currently 10:47 PM.
Jesus, you think as you blink and stretch. I've been asleep for over four hours.
You straighten in your seat, turning to look at your boyfriend as he stops at a red light. Even in the dim light from the road, you can see that Trey looks tired, and no wonder.
The two of you threw a handful of your belongings into the trunk of his car before the sun rose this morning and started driving out to California. You're headed to some cheap little apartment that you've never even seen in person because Trey and Matt rushed to sign the lease as soon as they finished the walkthrough. You don't know exactly what to expect. You just know that your life as you've known it all these years is done, and you're starting over.
You should be scared shitless, but you aren't. You owe all of that to the guy in the driver's seat. 
A drowsy smile comes over your face. It might not be smart, but you would follow him anywhere. Once school was over and the first movie was out, the possibility of success seemed all the more real. It just wouldn't be too easy to find in Colorado. When he suggested pooling some money together and heading towards LA sooner rather than later, he was only met with agreement from Matt and Dian. And you, of course. 
Now the four of you have a one-bedroom apartment waiting for you on the outskirts of the city. It's real, and it all could be the world's dumbest flight of fancy, but you can't bring yourself to worry about it right now. 
Not when your boyfriend looks so fucking beautiful in the glow of the traffic light. 
"Hey," you rasp out, throat still scratchy from your nap. 
He glances over at you, shooting you a tired smile. "Good morning," he says, despite the fact that you still have a little over an hour to go before midnight. "How'd you sleep?" 
"As good as I can in a car." Taking note of the dark circles forming under his eyes, you ask: "Do you want to switch off again?" 
He shakes his head, loose strands of his newly-bleached hair falling over his face. "Nah," he says. "We've only got a few more miles 'til the rest stop. Then we can stop for the night." 
You frown. "You sure? You look like you're about to fall asleep…"
"I'll be fine," he assures you. His free hand lands on your thigh as the light changes, squeezing as the car creeps back into motion. "As long as I have you to keep me awake, I'll be good."
You grin, reveling in the feeling of his fingers against your skin. You find yourself wishing he would dig them in just a little bit harder, leave behind some of those pretty bruises you love so much. Reminders of who you belong to. "Keep you awake, huh?" you ask. "How?"
"Talk to me," he responds easily. Try as he might to play coy, you are keenly aware of his hand climbing higher and higher up your leg, stopping at the seam of your shorts before traveling back down. "Have any interesting dreams?" 
You laugh. "Do you want me to be honest or make one up?"
"Hmm… Honesty first."
"We made it to the apartment," you tell him. "We were unpacking. It was a dumpy little place, but I was just so happy that it was ours."
"Mmm-hmm." He gives your thigh a slight squeeze. "And what about the more interesting one?" 
You bite back a laugh as your own hand travels across the center console, stopping to hover over his zipper. "I found a more fun way to keep you awake." 
You can tell that he's struggling not to look down at where your hand is going, wondering if you're getting at what he suspects. "And what was that?" 
With that, your hand meets denim. "I blew you while you were driving."
Before he can try to suppress it, a groan breaks up from the back of his throat. "Shit," he curses.
A spark of satisfaction runs through you, noting that he's already getting hard before you even start moving your hand. It really doesn't take much. "You didn't seem tired anymore, that's for sure." You manage to keep your voice level as you palm him through his jeans, hiding the fact that you're getting wet at the mere thought of it. "Only problem was you only had one hand on the wheel. The other one was on the back of my head, pushing me further down onto your cock." You laugh. "We made a real mess, too. I tried to swallow it all, but…"
Your words drift off as he finally digs his fingers into your skin, biting out an order. "Shut up." 
Though the dominance in his tone makes your heart flutter, you continue your teasing. "Wanna do it for me?" 
"Fuck." The hand that was resting on your leg falls away, reaching to undo your seatbelt. "Come here." 
You hesitate. It's always fun to get him hot and bothered, then piss him off. All the better outcome for you. "You really think you'll be able to concentrate on the road while I'm sucking you off?" 
"Yeah, I will," he snaps. "Just get over here and…"
"Okay, okay." You lean over the center console, contorting yourself in a less-than-comfortable position. Though it's really only a mild inconvenience, you opt to put on for just a bit longer. See how wild you can drive him before getting down to it. "You know… This is sort of an awkward position…"
"Don't care," he cuts you off. "Just… Fucking…"
"Shouldn't you be a bit more patient?" you chastise him, even though you're already tugging down his zipper. 
He huffs. "Shouldn't you be a little less of a fucking tease?" He freezes, shivering slightly under your touch as you quickly manage to snap the button on his jeans and tug them down. 
Though you know he isn't looking at you, you smile up at him, anyway. "You know that you love it, baby," you coo, planting your hands against his trembling thighs. "Look at you. You try to be all mean, but you're fucking shaking for me." 
His jaw clenches. You know he's about to say something that would probably hurt your feelings if you weren't so damn turned on. Before he can, you grab ahold of his cock through the thin fabric of his boxers, inspiring a desperate gasp as he involuntarily bucks his hips up into your hand.
You laugh. Suddenly, you're the mean one. "See? You can try to take control all you want, but at the end of the day you're just my good boy." 
Your eyes flicker back up to take in his expression, only for heat to pool in your belly. 
Yeah. You've really done it now. 
Though he's obviously flustered, it's all the more apparent that he's pissed off. You love this struggle that the two of you regularly engage in, the constant question of who will be the first to give in and let the other have their way with them. 
Tonight, you had no intention of winning this struggle. You just wanted to see how much it would take to push him over the edge. 
When he stops at the next light, you know for sure that you've reached that point. His hand momentarily leaves the steering wheel, pulling his pants down the rest of the way while the fingers of his other hand curl beneath your jaw, holding your head in place. "You and your smart fucking mouth," he spits. "I'm gonna give you something else to do with it."
Just like that, any semblance of dominance leaves you. You find yourself whimpering, relishing the force of his touch. "Please."
He laughs. "Please?" he echoes. "Baby, you don't have to beg." He releases your jaw, his left hand returning to the steering wheel as his right settles on the back of your neck. You swear you could melt into the seats as he presses down. "Just fucking take it."
With those words, you do exactly as you were told.
He groans as you wrap your lips around him, tongue running over the side of his cock. You cast your eyes up again just in time to see him catch himself after leaning back against the headrest as his left hand curls back around the steering wheel. "There we go," he chokes out as he straightens his posture. 
You feel a rush of heat between your thighs as his hand moves from your neck to your hair. Now that he has you where he wants you, his forcefulness has melted away into tenderness. "That's my good girl," he praises you as you lick back up the side and over his head. You moan around him at the affectionate name, inspiring a breathy chuckle. 
"You like that, don't you?" he asks. "Yeah, you do. My desperate little good girl, sucking my cock to keep me awake while I drive."
The car begins to move again as you continue to work him. By this point, you have each other memorized, knowing exactly what sends one another over the edge. You know exactly where to press your tongue, when to hollow your cheeks around him, how fast to go. It's familiar, but it isn't boring by any stretch of the imagination. You're just waiting for the reward of making him come, — a privilege that never gets old. 
You could never get tired of his voice, either. You swear that every word and sound that leaves his mouth makes you wetter, spurring you on. 
Despite the fact that his eyes are focused on the road, Trey sounds just as thoroughly debauched as if you were kneeling in front of the couch. Each desperate groan inspires you to slow down, drawing out every repeated movement as the salty taste of precome meets your tongue. 
"Fuck," he curses as you swirl your tongue around his head at a frustratingly slow pace. "Thought you were done being a little tease…" His complaint is cut off by a gasp as you abruptly take him all the way down. 
His fingers tangle in your hair as a desperate, high-pitched sound escapes his mouth. Finally, he reaches the back of your throat, eliciting a gag.
"Holy shit, baby." You feel his thighs shaking beneath your hands again as he forces out the breathy curse. He lets out another sharp gasp as you momentarily lift your head, only to lower yourself back down, constricting around him again with a quiet choked sound.
With that, his desperate moan turns into a growl. "That's what you want, huh?" he asks. "You want me to fuck your throat?" 
You bob your head again, resulting in another gag, followed by an affirmative hum. 
He laughs, fingers running absentmindedly over your scalp. "Pretty little slut," he mutters before bucking his hips up against your mouth. 
Tears prick at your eyes as you gag again. The growing warmth between your legs causes you to shift a bit, squeezing your thighs together in an attempt to satisfy your growing desire to be touched. 
Each buck is harsh, though the violence of your gag reflex's response lessens over time. Even still, Trey's hand in your hair and the sounds that he makes are enough to leave you whimpering, shifting against the seat desperately. 
"Such a good fucking slut for me… Oh, fuck…" He rolls his hips up again, causing your throat to tighten at the same time that your walls clench around nothing. You can feel him, pulsing and twitching in your mouth, letting you know that he's getting close. 
The way his hand tightens in your hair confirms this suspicion. You moan as he collects a handful of hair and harshly tugs before pushing you back down on him. "Is this what you wanted?" he asks through a series of strained groans. "Wanted me to use you? Wanted me to treat you like my own little fuckdoll?" 
You try to hum an agreement, only for an unintelligible sound to break up from your throat. 
He laughs. The combination of affection and condescension makes you even wetter. "Don't talk with your mouth full, baby." He pushes your head down again, resulting in another choked sound. 
You focus on breathing through your nose as each push of his hips gets faster and his groans grow louder and more desperate. 
"I'm gonna come," he announces. "Gonna fill up your pretty little mouth…" 
He gives your hair an especially harsh pull as he releases with a loud, shaking groan. You let out a quiet, desperate sound as warm come fills your mouth, swallowing around him as he rides out his orgasm. 
Finally, he relaxes back against the seat with an unsteady sigh. "Fuck…" His fingers relax in your hair, going back to stroking gently as your breathing begins to even out. "You okay, baby?" 
You nod as you pull away, running your hand across your mouth as you swallow once more. "Yeah," you choke out, voice slightly rough. 
He hums in reply as he flicks on his turn signal, turning into a convenience store parking lot. 
He pulls the car into a dimly-lit parking space before reaching for the glove compartment. He comes up with a stack of fast food napkins. He uses one to clean himself up before fixing his pants. Discarding the first napkin, he turns towards you. "C'mere, hon." 
You scoot closer to him, allowing him to begin wiping at your face. 
You lean slightly into his hand as he cleans up the mascara-tinged tear streaks and mixture of come and drool. "You weren't kidding," he comments as he grabs another napkin. "We really do make a mess together."
Finally, he deems his work satisfactory, crumpling the last napkin before gently cupping your face in both hands. He presses a gentle kiss against your lips before pulling back, running his thumb against your cheek. "So good for me," he says. "I love you."
You smile, resting your forehead against his. "Love you, too."
You stay there like that for a moment before he gently pats your cheek. "Let's go get something to eat, hmm?" he says. "My treat."
-
You sit your selection of various snacks aside, grabbing a large cup from the stack next to the soda fountain. As you fill the cup up with ice, you feel a familiar pair of arms snake around your waist. 
You smile as Trey rests his chin on your shoulder, holding you as though you were standing in your own kitchen and not some random convenience store in the middle of the night. "Find anything you like?" he asks.
You lean back into him, pulling your cup away from the ice dispenser. "Mmm-hmm."
"Good." He kisses your forehead as he pulls away. "I'll be able to actually spoil you one day. I promise." 
Warmth blooms in your chest at that thought. You don't care if the spoiling part ever comes to fruition. Just the promise of one day is enough for you, assuring you that, whatever the future holds, you'll be doing it together. 
-
He doesn't let you drive the rest of the way to the rest stop. "Just a few minutes," he tells you. "Then we can both get some sleep."
Soon enough, you're parked in the parking lot, hulking trucks on all sides. The two of you climb into the backseat, where Trey takes off his jacket and folds in his lap. "Here."
You lay your head in his lap with a contented sigh, allowing him to go back to playing with your hair. You close your eyes, leaning into his touch.
"Do you want me to, ah… Do anything for you?" he asks quietly.
You laugh, shaking your head. "We'll be at the apartment tomorrow. Matt and Dian won't be up here for a few days. We'll have plenty of time." You laugh. "Too many creepy old truckers here."
"I'd make those truckers look the other fucking way…" 
You swat at him lazily. "Shut up. I know you can't fight."
"For you, I could." 
You look up at his dark-circled eyes and make an incredulous sound. "I don't think you could even stay awake for long enough."
"For you, I could," he repeats. He reaches for your hand and pulls it up to his lips. Your eyes flutter as he plants a gentle kiss against your fingers. "Love you, baby."
"Love you, too." You close your eyes, feeling yourself beginning to drift off. "I'll see you tomorrow."
Even with your eyes closed, you can hear the smile in his voice. "Yeah," he says. "Tomorrow."
Another promise to soothe you to sleep. 
173 notes · View notes
joecooperzz · 1 year
Text
passenger princess (90s!trey parker x fem!reader)
crossposted from my other account, @partypoisonzz
word count: 2,826
content: mean!trey, road head, hair pulling, degradation, praise, everyone's a switch
minors (anyone 17 and under) do not interact!
---
You shift in the passenger seat, eyes opening slowly. Squinting at the clock on the dash through the dark, you find that it is currently 10:47 PM.
Jesus, you think as you blink and stretch. I've been asleep for over four hours.
You straighten in your seat, turning to look at your boyfriend as he stops at a red light. Even in the dim light from the road, you can see that Trey looks tired, and no wonder.
The two of you threw a handful of your belongings into the trunk of his car before the sun rose this morning and started driving out to California. You're headed to some cheap little apartment that you've never even seen in person because Trey and Matt rushed to sign the lease as soon as they finished the walkthrough. You don't know exactly what to expect. You just know that your life as you've known it all these years is done, and you're starting over.
You should be scared shitless, but you aren't. You owe all of that to the guy in the driver's seat.
A drowsy smile comes over your face. It might not be smart, but you would follow him anywhere. Once school was over and the first movie was out, the possibility of success seemed all the more real. It just wouldn't be too easy to find in Colorado. When he suggested pooling some money together and heading towards LA sooner rather than later, he was only met with agreement from Matt and Dian. And you, of course.
Now the four of you have a one-bedroom apartment waiting for you on the outskirts of the city. It's real, and it all could be the world's dumbest flight of fancy, but you can't bring yourself to worry about it right now.
Not when your boyfriend looks so fucking beautiful in the glow of the traffic light.
"Hey," you rasp out, throat still scratchy from your nap.
He glances over at you, shooting you a tired smile. "Good morning," he says, despite the fact that you still have a little over an hour to go before midnight. "How'd you sleep?"
"As good as I can in a car." Taking note of the dark circles forming under his eyes, you ask: "Do you want to switch off again?"
He shakes his head, loose strands of his newly-bleached hair falling over his face. "Nah," he says. "We've only got a few more miles 'til the rest stop. Then we can stop for the night."
You frown. "You sure? You look like you're about to fall asleep…"
"I'll be fine," he assures you. His free hand lands on your thigh as the light changes, squeezing as the car creeps back into motion. "As long as I have you to keep me awake, I'll be good."
You grin, reveling in the feeling of his fingers against your skin. You find yourself wishing he would dig them in just a little bit harder, leave behind some of those pretty bruises you love so much. Reminders of who you belong to. "Keep you awake, huh?" you ask. "How?"
"Talk to me," he responds easily. Try as he might to play coy, you are keenly aware of his hand climbing higher and higher up your leg, stopping at the seam of your shorts before traveling back down. "Have any interesting dreams?"
You laugh. "Do you want me to be honest or make one up?"
"Hmm… Honesty first."
"We made it to the apartment," you tell him. "We were unpacking. It was a dumpy little place, but I was just so happy that it was ours."
"Mmm-hmm." He gives your thigh a slight squeeze. "And what about the more interesting one?"
You bite back a laugh as your own hand travels across the center console, stopping to hover over his zipper. "I found a more fun way to keep you awake."
You can tell that he's struggling not to look down at where your hand is going, wondering if you're getting at what he suspects. "And what was that?"
With that, your hand meets denim. "I blew you while you were driving."
Before he can try to suppress it, a groan breaks up from the back of his throat. "Shit," he curses.
A spark of satisfaction runs through you, noting that he's already getting hard before you even start moving your hand. It really doesn't take much. "You didn't seem tired anymore, that's for sure." You manage to keep your voice level as you palm him through his jeans, hiding the fact that you're getting wet at the mere thought of it. "Only problem was you only had one hand on the wheel. The other one was on the back of my head, pushing me further down onto your cock." You laugh. "We made a real mess, too. I tried to swallow it all, but…"
Your words drift off as he finally digs his fingers into your skin, biting out an order. "Shut up."
Though the dominance in his tone makes your heart flutter, you continue your teasing. "Wanna do it for me?"
"Fuck." The hand that was resting on your leg falls away, reaching to undo your seatbelt. "Come here."
You hesitate. It's always fun to get him hot and bothered, then piss him off. All the better outcome for you. "You really think you'll be able to concentrate on the road while I'm sucking you off?"
"Yeah, I will," he snaps. "Just get over here and…"
"Okay, okay." You lean over the center console, contorting yourself in a less-than-comfortable position. Though it's really only a mild inconvenience, you opt to put on for just a bit longer. See how wild you can drive him before getting down to it. "You know… This is sort of an awkward position…"
"Don't care," he cuts you off. "Just… Fucking…"
"Shouldn't you be a bit more patient?" you chastise him, even though you're already tugging down his zipper.
He huffs. "Shouldn't you be a little less of a fucking tease?" He freezes, shivering slightly under your touch as you quickly manage to snap the button on his jeans and tug them down.
Though you know he isn't looking at you, you smile up at him, anyway. "You know that you love it, baby," you coo, planting your hands against his trembling thighs. "Look at you. You try to be all mean, but you're fucking shaking for me."
His jaw clenches. You know he's about to say something that would probably hurt your feelings if you weren't so damn turned on. Before he can, you grab ahold of his cock through the thin fabric of his boxers, inspiring a desperate gasp as he involuntarily bucks his hips up into your hand.
You laugh. Suddenly, you're the mean one. "See? You can try to take control all you want, but at the end of the day you're just my good boy."
Your eyes flicker back up to take in his expression, only for heat to pool in your belly.
Yeah. You've really done it now.
Though he's obviously flustered, it's all the more apparent that he's pissed off. You love this struggle that the two of you regularly engage in, the constant question of who will be the first to give in and let the other have their way with them.
Tonight, you had no intention of winning this struggle. You just wanted to see how much it would take to push him over the edge.
When he stops at the next light, you know for sure that you've reached that point. His hand momentarily leaves the steering wheel, pulling his pants down the rest of the way while the fingers of his other hand curl beneath your jaw, holding your head in place. "You and your smart fucking mouth," he spits. "I'm gonna give you something else to do with it."
Just like that, any semblance of dominance leaves you. You find yourself whimpering, relishing the force of his touch. "Please."
He laughs. "Please?" he echoes. "Baby, you don't have to beg." He releases your jaw, his left hand returning to the steering wheel as his right settles on the back of your neck. You swear you could melt into the seats as he presses down. "Just fucking take it."
With those words, you do exactly as you were told.
He groans as you wrap your lips around him, tongue running over the side of his cock. You cast your eyes up again just in time to see him catch himself after leaning back against the headrest as his left hand curls back around the steering wheel. "There we go," he chokes out as he straightens his posture.
You feel a rush of heat between your thighs as his hand moves from your neck to your hair. Now that he has you where he wants you, his forcefulness has melted away into tenderness. "That's my good girl," he praises you as you lick back up the side and over his head. You moan around him at the affectionate name, inspiring a breathy chuckle.
"You like that, don't you?" he asks. "Yeah, you do. My desperate little good girl, sucking my cock to keep me awake while I drive."
The car begins to move again as you continue to work him. By this point, you have each other memorized, knowing exactly what sends one another over the edge. You know exactly where to press your tongue, when to hollow your cheeks around him, how fast to go. It's familiar, but it isn't boring by any stretch of the imagination. You're just waiting for the reward of making him come, — a privilege that never gets old.
You could never get tired of his voice, either. You swear that every word and sound that leaves his mouth makes you wetter, spurring you on.
Despite the fact that his eyes are focused on the road, Trey sounds just as thoroughly debauched as if you were kneeling in front of the couch. Each desperate groan inspires you to slow down, drawing out every repeated movement as the salty taste of precome meets your tongue.
"Fuck," he curses as you swirl your tongue around his head at a frustratingly slow pace. "Thought you were done being a little tease…" His complaint is cut off by a gasp as you abruptly take him all the way down.
His fingers tangle in your hair as a desperate, high-pitched sound escapes his mouth. Finally, he reaches the back of your throat, eliciting a gag.
"Holy shit, baby." You feel his thighs shaking beneath your hands again as he forces out the breathy curse. He lets out another sharp gasp as you momentarily lift your head, only to lower yourself back down, constricting around him again with a quiet choked sound.
With that, his desperate moan turns into a growl. "That's what you want, huh?" he asks. "You want me to fuck your throat?"
You bob your head again, resulting in another gag, followed by an affirmative hum.
He laughs, fingers running absentmindedly over your scalp. "Pretty little slut," he mutters before bucking his hips up against your mouth.
Tears prick at your eyes as you gag again. The growing warmth between your legs causes you to shift a bit, squeezing your thighs together in an attempt to satisfy your growing desire to be touched.
Each buck is harsh, though the violence of your gag reflex's response lessens over time. Even still, Trey's hand in your hair and the sounds that he makes are enough to leave you whimpering, shifting against the seat desperately.
"Such a good fucking slut for me… Oh, fuck…" He rolls his hips up again, causing your throat to tighten at the same time that your walls clench around nothing. You can feel him, pulsing and twitching in your mouth, letting you know that he's getting close.
The way his hand tightens in your hair confirms this suspicion. You moan as he collects a handful of hair and harshly tugs before pushing you back down on him. "Is this what you wanted?" he asks through a series of strained groans. "Wanted me to use you? Wanted me to treat you like my own little fuckdoll?"
You try to hum an agreement, only for an unintelligible sound to break up from your throat.
He laughs. The combination of affection and condescension makes you even wetter. "Don't talk with your mouth full, baby." He pushes your head down again, resulting in another choked sound.
You focus on breathing through your nose as each push of his hips gets faster and his groans grow louder and more desperate.
"I'm gonna come," he announces. "Gonna fill up your pretty little mouth…"
He gives your hair an especially harsh pull as he releases with a loud, shaking groan. You let out a quiet, desperate sound as warm come fills your mouth, swallowing around him as he rides out his orgasm.
Finally, he relaxes back against the seat with an unsteady sigh. "Fuck…" His fingers relax in your hair, going back to stroking gently as your breathing begins to even out. "You okay, baby?"
You nod as you pull away, running your hand across your mouth as you swallow once more. "Yeah," you choke out, voice slightly rough.
He hums in reply as he flicks on his turn signal, turning into a convenience store parking lot.
He pulls the car into a dimly-lit parking space before reaching for the glove compartment. He comes up with a stack of fast food napkins. He uses one to clean himself up before fixing his pants. Discarding the first napkin, he turns towards you. "C'mere, hon."
You scoot closer to him, allowing him to begin wiping at your face.
You lean slightly into his hand as he cleans up the mascara-tinged tear streaks and mixture of come and drool. "You weren't kidding," he comments as he grabs another napkin. "We really do make a mess together."
Finally, he deems his work satisfactory, crumpling the last napkin before gently cupping your face in both hands. He presses a gentle kiss against your lips before pulling back, running his thumb against your cheek. "So good for me," he says. "I love you."
You smile, resting your forehead against his. "Love you, too."
You stay there like that for a moment before he gently pats your cheek. "Let's go get something to eat, hmm?" he says. "My treat."
-
You sit your selection of various snacks aside, grabbing a large cup from the stack next to the soda fountain. As you fill the cup up with ice, you feel a familiar pair of arms snake around your waist.
You smile as Trey rests his chin on your shoulder, holding you as though you were standing in your own kitchen and not some random convenience store in the middle of the night. "Find anything you like?" he asks.
You lean back into him, pulling your cup away from the ice dispenser. "Mmm-hmm."
"Good." He kisses your forehead as he pulls away. "I'll be able to actually spoil you one day. I promise."
Warmth blooms in your chest at that thought. You don't care if the spoiling part ever comes to fruition. Just the promise of one day is enough for you, assuring you that, whatever the future holds, you'll be doing it together.
-
He doesn't let you drive the rest of the way to the rest stop. "Just a few minutes," he tells you. "Then we can both get some sleep."
Soon enough, you're parked in the parking lot, hulking trucks on all sides. The two of you climb into the backseat, where Trey takes off his jacket and folds in his lap. "Here."
You lay your head in his lap with a contented sigh, allowing him to go back to playing with your hair. You close your eyes, leaning into his touch.
"Do you want me to, ah… Do anything for you?" he asks quietly.
You laugh, shaking your head. "We'll be at the apartment tomorrow. Matt and Dian won't be up here for a few days. We'll have plenty of time." You laugh. "Too many creepy old truckers here."
"I'd make those truckers look the other fucking way…"
You swat at him lazily. "Shut up. I know you can't fight."
"For you, I could."
You look up at his dark-circled eyes and make an incredulous sound. "I don't think you could even stay awake for long enough."
"For you, I could," he repeats. He reaches for your hand and pulls it up to his lips. Your eyes flutter as he plants a gentle kiss against your fingers. "Love you, baby."
"Love you, too." You close your eyes, feeling yourself beginning to drift off. "I'll see you tomorrow."
Even with your eyes closed, you can hear the smile in his voice. "Yeah," he says. "Tomorrow."
Another promise to soothe you to sleep.
---
taglist: @nathanyoungsupremacy
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meltwonu · 4 years
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| 𝔲𝔫𝔱𝔦𝔩 𝔦 𝔪𝔢𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲 |     [Chapter 1] 
pairing; fratboy!wonwoo x reader
this chapter’s notes; fratboy!wonwoo, dom!wonwoo, dirty talk, masturbation, sex toys, mentions of sexting/sending photos/videos, baby this has hella plot lmao dkhf 🥴💕 WELCOME TO UNTIL I MET YOU!! THE MINI-SEQUEL TO CAFFEINE! A bit of a shorter chapter but I didn’t want to overload with too much everything in the first chapter, ykwim? 😎 Thank you so much for your patience with this sequel, I know there were a ton of people asking for a sequel for months after I said I would 💕😭😭 As always, inbox roundup tomorrow! And don’t forget, next chapter for UIMY goes up on Feb 26th! T|H ch 1 next Friday! 🥰💕 Enjoy ch 1, have a great weekend and I love you! 💕
chapters; 1 - x - x - x - x
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“Mmh… Wonwoo…”
His hands roam all over your naked body; warmth spreading all over when he digs his blunt fingernails into the skin of your waist.
“Feels good, doesn’t it? Did you miss me, sweetheart?” His voice is soft, gentle, yet teasing; barely above a whisper as your back bows off of the bed to lean into his simple touches. “I missed you, sweetheart. Missed your ‘lil cunt too.”
A choked sob falls from your lips, followed quickly by rushed, hurried cries for Wonwoo to move faster.
“Don’t you want me to take my time? We haven’t seen each other in months.” 
There’s a smirk on his lips, eyes twinkling with mischief when you reply back with a shaky whine. “Don’t you want me to slide my cock into your pretty ‘lil pussy nice ‘n slow? Let you feel every inch of me filling you up, just like it’s the first time all over again.” He stares at you dreamily; fixated on the way your body chases his hands when he drags them down to your thighs. “Or would you prefer it if I fucked you hard and fast? Your cute body squirming and trembling from how good I give it to you and my cock slamming into your tight ‘lil cunt.”
Wonwoo’s fingertips spread your folds as he licks his lips; appreciating how wet you already were for him.
“Bet your toys don’t feel as good as the real thing, huh?”
You shake your head ‘no’ furiously, “N-no, god, no! Wonwoo, p-please!” The male grins down at you, pouting mockingly at your desperate, pleading eyes. 
The wetness between your legs is unbearable and the sobs are caught in your throat when Wonwoo leans over you, lips ghosting across your own.
“Okay. Just say--”
You’re shocked awake by your alarm clock; chest heaving in deep breaths as you sit up in your crumpled sheets. “Oh, fuck...” Groaning, your clammy palms reach for the ringing device as you shut it off and sigh.
The clock reads 10:02AM; tired eyes trying to blink away the sleep that threatens to take you back to the dreamland you much preferred. Although, dreaming about Wonwoo was becoming a little bit too common these last few days.
Sighing once more, you move to get out of bed; already finding your panties soaking wet and sticking to you like a second skin when you stand.
“Ugh... Damn it.”
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You press the vibrator harder onto your clit; teeth chattering with the pleasure that pours over your body.
“Oh, god, please, p-please…”
Images of Wonwoo dance behind your eyelids; sultry smirks and teasing glances bringing you closer and closer to the edge of an orgasm.
If there was anything that the last few months without Wonwoo taught you, it was that you couldn’t afford to lose him - in more ways than one. And despite his lack of calls or even text messages, you held out in hopes he still felt the same way that you did despite the distance.
You sent him pictures and videos of yourself often; teasing images half naked, toys in hand, and videos crying out his name while you came. And while he took the time to reply to those with praise and adoration, he almost never sent anything back. 
When he did, it was always short, clipped replies of how exhausted he was and how he didn’t have much time.
“Ngh, h-harder…” Your toes curl against the bedsheet; phantom feelings of his cock fucking you hard and deep making you cry out in desperation to be filled by his cock.
Your phone rings on the nightstand next to you as you cum - vibrator pressed so hard against your clit that your back bows off of the sheets while your thighs shake uncontrollably. 
And for the first time in a long time, it’s an orgasm that feels like it’s worth something.
‘Gyu: hey did wonwoo text u?
‘Gyu: he’s back next monday he said
‘Gyu: idk abt classes tho, might be out of commission for a while bc jetlag
‘Gyu: thinking abt throwing him a party on friday after he comes back...
‘Gyu: u wanna plan with us orrrrr? U got a private party or sth 🥴😏
‘Gyu: lmk
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You’re nervous. Shy, even.
After you’d come down from your orgasm and checked your phone, your mind momentarily went blank from shock and the first thing you’d done was text Wonwoo to ask if he was really coming back that soon.
‘Ah, yeah, I was just about to text you. Prof said we can go home early if we wanted since we finished up classes. I’ll see you sometime next week? Jetlag and stuff.’, was all he had said and in your excited state, the only thing you had responded with was an, ‘Okay, great!’, without asking when, where, or what time.
You figured you’d give him some time to readjust instead of bombarding him as soon as he got in. But each second that you knew Wonwoo was home, you found yourself itching to just be in his presence.
You just had to be a little more patient.
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Wednesday morning comes and you find yourself skipping your morning class to go to the library.
For studying, you tell yourself.
The male at the receptionist table shoots you a small smile to which you awkwardly smile back before ducking into an empty aisle. All you knew was that it seemed like Wonwoo wasn’t here.
Maybe he’s still at the frat house, you wonder.
Sighing slightly under your breath, you decide that maybe getting some work done would actually help distract you from looking for the male.
You find an empty table, setting your things down before pulling out your phone. 
In all honesty, you weren’t even sure why you were being so shy and nervous about contacting Wonwoo, especially when you so unabashedly sent him nudes every few days when he was away. 
Although, with how things had been before he left and the prospect of actually dating once he came back from his semester abroad - the butterflies in your stomach had been nonstop with the different scenarios that played out in your head. You’d even gone so far as to plan what happened if Wonwoo had decided he didn’t want to make an attempt at dating you.
“Sweetheart?”
The grip you have on your phone only tightens as you whip your head around to find Wonwoo standing behind your chair and you swear your heart stops beating the same time your breath gets caught in your throat. “H-huh?”
He smiles gently down at you and you can’t help but wonder how long you were spaced out to not notice him there. 
“Is this a dream too?” You wonder aloud - Wonwoo chuckling in response as he moves to collect your things for you.
“Have you been dreaming about me that much, sweetheart?” You stutter and stumble over your words; embarrassment eating at you every second that Wonwoo has a knowing smile plastered on his lips.
“C’mon, let’s go get something to eat since we both know you’re not really here to study.”
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The version of Wonwoo that sits across the cafe table is… different.
Not bad, just different.
His arms are much tanner and definitely more muscular and the glasses missing from his face lets you appreciate his eyes even more when they’re not hidden behind the thick frames. He had even opted to wear a sleeveless shirt; something that you weren’t used to when he usually was around campus in long sleeves and sweater vests.
Although, you can’t and won’t deny the way your body reacts to this Wonwoo.
“Hey, I’m talking to you and you’re just spacing out.” Muttering, he leans over the small cafe table until his face is only inches away from yours and the smirk on his lips already lets you know that you’ve been caught staring.
“Listen, I know I’ve been gone for three months but you’re lookin’ at me like you haven’t had a fix in all that time.” Your lips press into an embarrassed firm line, avoiding his stare as he raises a brow at you.
“Wait, you didn’t fuck anyone in the three months I was gone?”
“No… did you?” Your voice is barely above a whisper; a little afraid that his answer will be ‘yes’ when he takes a second longer to respond.
“Nah,” He settles back into his seat, “I told you, didn’t I? I was willing to try the whole… dating, relationship thing with you when I got back. Although, I’m somewhat surprised one of the others didn’t try to seduce you while I was gone.”
You laugh slightly, cheeks warm as Wonwoo teases. “I wouldn’t have given them the time of day anyway.”
Your entire body burns hot, palms clammy in your lap from how giddy you were to be with Wonwoo and it made your heart do backflips knowing that he’d still been willing to try with you.
“Ah, how was it abroad anyway? You… didn’t really say much over the past few months so I feel like I don’t know how you were. Just some messages about how tired you were...” He takes a sip of his coffee; unintentionally making you internally scream when his lips form a pout while he thinks.
“Honestly? Other than the days we were excavating ‘n stuff, it was pretty boring. Really hectic though, and a lot of documenting which meant a lot of paperwork. I swear, I closed my eyes and I saw the inside of my textbooks.” He chuckles lightly, eyes focused on the cup of coffee in front of him.
“I just want to say sorry for my lack of communication. I really didn’t expect to be so busy that I couldn’t even pick up a call.” There’s a genuine apologetic look on Wonwoo’s face when he looks back at you. “And the time difference was really rough too. I didn’t want to take it out on you over the phone if I was stressed about not sleeping or the workload. I know we can get a little rough when we ‘play’ but this wasn’t that and it wouldn’t have been fair.”
Oh.
“T-that’s okay, I understand!” Your heart does somersaults in your chest, “I--thank you for thinking about me too.”
The feelings you have bubbling up inside of you make you feel like you’re falling in love for the first time, all over again. “Um… Sorry I sent so many pictures ‘n stuff.”
Wonwoo laughs, this time throwing his head back slightly before he tries to hide his wide grin. “Oh, sweetheart. Don’t apologize.” Your eyes meet his and for a split second, you see the familiar dominating look in his eyes before he leans over the small cafe table again.
“I might’ve not had all the time to entertain you those times but I thought about you alllll the time. I missed everything about you.” His voice is barely above a whisper - careful to not let anyone else in the cafe hear the topic of conversation. “Which, by the way…You piqued my interest earlier with your question. You never really answered my question about having dreams about me.”
You shift in your seat as you avert your eyes from his; eyes flitting down his toned body instead as you mentally curse yourself.
“I… kinda? I m-mean… not normally but just--just these last few days. It’s almost been every night… I wake up and--and it’s just… I’m...” You trail off; somewhat shy to say the rest of what you were going to say even though you’re almost certain Wonwoo already knows.
“Odd. Me too. I kept dreaming about you, which is, honestly, kind of why I thought to come back earlier.”
“Oh?”
“Mm, we still had 2 weeks left, technically. A bit of a spillover since my professor wanted us to explore the city once finals were over. But I just wanted to come home.” He finishes with a chuckle - a soft look in his eyes.
You pout back at him, “You didn’t come home early just for ‘lil ‘ol me, did you?” You say it jokingly, but deep down you do wonder.
“Would that be so bad?” Grinning, Wonwoo sets a couple of bills down onto the table to cover the meals you both barely have touched.
“Like I said, I missed everything about you, sweetheart.”
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Wonwoo walks you back to your place afterwards; laughing and joking with you as if he hadn’t been gone for the last 3 months. 
There’s a certain playfulness about him that makes your heart bloom and part of you wonders if he’s opening up to you more now that there’d been some time apart.
“Are you gonna be working at the library again? Or is that done forever now?” “Mm.. I mean, it’d be kind of weird if I stopped, don’t you think?”
The grin of his face is telling and you have to mentally stop yourself from letting your mind wander in the middle of the sidewalk. “Y-yeah... Studying in my apartment isn’t really the same, y’know…”
Laughing, Wonwoo takes the opportunity to swing an arm around your shoulder as he tucks you under his arm. “I was actually at the library earlier to ask about my position back. I start tomorrow.” Goosebumps rise on your skin and the close proximity is enough to make you whimper.
“I’m only taking two classes this semester to give myself a bit of a break so I’ll be in the library more often to fill up the time. You can always call me if you need to know where I am. I promise I’ll respond this time, sweetheart.”
Before you know it, the two of you are already standing outside of your complex as Wonwoo takes his arm off of you.
“Will I be seeing you tomorrow?” There’s a hopeful lilt to his voice that has you nodding feverishly in return.
“I have a morning class but I’ll come by in the afternoon? I can text you to let you know, just in case.” You offer back.
Wonwoo licks his lips, tilting his head before leaning down and kissing you on the forehead.
The soft gesture momentarily throws you off as you freeze but the smoldering look in Wonwoo’s eyes when he pulls away lets you know that he’s already scheming.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, sweetheart.”
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hepaidattention · 3 years
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where Stiles and Lydia actually get alone time after he and the pack save her from Eichen House.
“Stiles found his eyes drifting closed, unable to resist the pull of sleep any longer. His last thoughts were of the blissful reminder that Lydia Martin was in his arms, alive, and he was never going to let anything else ever hurt her again.”
“Stiles, I’m fine,” Lydia insisted, pushing his hand back only slightly. She held onto it, tight, but she pushed it away from her just enough to show that she could stand on her own. She gave him a smile that actually reached her eyes, the tears in them causing her hazel irises to sparkle. She had been through so much, but she still managed to stand up from the table on her own. “See?” 
Stiles wasn’t letting go of her hand, “You don’t need to prove anything, Lyds, someone literally just performed trepanation to your skull,” he breathed out from his mouth, like if he didn’t he might pass out, “it’s okay to need help.”
“Stiles,” she placed a hand on his cheek, rubbing away tears stains with her thumb, “I’m okay, I promise.”
The sheriff had arrived, now talking to Lydia’s mom in the lobby of the clinic. Dr. Deaton and Scott were out there with them, all discussing the events of the night. Stiles was still in shock, he still felt like if he let go of Lydia’s hand it all would have been some big hallucination. It wouldn’t be the first time for him. Lydia could tell how concerned he still was so she nodded and said, “Okay, maybe I’m not a hundred percent.” She leaned on his arm, because in all honesty she really needed the support - she was just stubborn. “But I’m going to be fine, thanks to you.”
He scoffed a little, scratching the back of his neck as he raised his eyebrows in objection, “Lydia, trust me, I participated a pretty small part. Helping you limp out of a few hallways should hardly be categorized under ‘rescuing’.”
“Small?” She tweaked up her left brow, her right staying put. She pursed her lips and asked, “Did you make the plan?”
“Well, yeah,” he said like it was a ‘no duh’ question. He wasn’t wrong. “And it failed, miserably.”
She looked at her hand, as if it wasn’t real, then poked his chest. “Hm,”
He knew what she was doing. He sighed and said, “What?”
“Well, it sure feels like we’re alive,” she poked his cheek, “but if your plan failed, then I guess we must be dead.” She poked his cheek again. He gently grabbed her free hand (the poking one) and cracked a smile, which was her goal all along. He didn’t let go of either hand now, and she didn’t pull them away. She didn’t want to. 
“Ha, ha,” he faked a laugh, but he was still smiling down at her, “okay, so maybe like ten percent of the plan worked. The rest was purely winging it, lots of unadulterated luck.” She was still looking at him with pursed lips, which unconsciously made his gaze fall to them. “Lots.”
It got still between them, Lydia realizing what he was staring at, Stiles having trouble looking away. Ever since he found her in Eichen House all he’s wanted to do was kiss her - he knew it was just old feelings being stirred up from the detrimental, gnawing reality of possible death, but he still couldn’t help but just want nothing more than to kiss her. That feeling should have faded - but it was more strong than ever before now. It didn’t help that he was pretty sure Lydia was thinking the exact same thing - she couldn’t be, could she? She was staring at his lips too, wasn’t she? Their eyes met then, and the electricity between them was hard for even a plain old human like him to deny. This was insane, he had to snap out of it. This was purely because life and death put them into survival mode. He tore his eyes from her own - a hand running through his mess of hair. 
“Do you uh,” he cleared his throat, his mouth much drier than he expected, “do you need a ride home?”
“Stiles,” she smirked, looking behind her towards the lobby, then back at him, “I think my mom can drive me home.”
“Right! Right, yeah, right, right,” he was chewing on his bottom lip, his eyes staring down at the ground (too afraid to meet her gaze again). However, he still didn’t let go of her hands. He couldn’t. He wouldn't. He finally looked up, “Are you sure?”
“I mean,” she was looking tired again, really really tired. She leaned back into the table and yawned, “I’m highly sure my mom is here, and I’m pretty sure she’ll want to bring me home.”
He let loose one of her hands to help support her from her elbow. “Lyds, I think maybe you should sit back down,”
She nodded, surprisingly not arguing. He led her to a chair this time, rather than struggling to get her up on that table again. She sat down on the cold, black seat and let out a huff. “Who knew screaming could wear out a banshee.” She rested her hand on her fist, eyes closing. 
Stiles pushed the hair from her eyes with his thumb, now standing on his knees in front of her. “Lydia?” he shook her knee just a little, “Lyds, remember what Deaton said,” this time he tucked the hair behind her ear since it kept persistently falling back in her eyes. “Can you tell me what he said?”
She smacked her mouth like she was in need of water and she nudged her head a little, an attempt of a nod. With eyes still closed she said, “I should try to stay awake for at least eight hours.”
“Yeah, exactly,” he puffed a soft laugh from his nose, “this doesn’t look a lot like trying to stay awake.”
“What does it look like then?” Her head went from staying up on her fist to finding Stiles’ arm that was lying across the side of the chair and laying her head on it like he was her pillow. 
“Well, I’m not an expert, but it looks a lot like sleeping to me.”
“Shhh,” her pale lips pursed again, just to make the noise. God he wanted to kiss her. No, Stiles, snap out of it! You cannot and should not kiss Lydia Martin. “Stiles, I’m trying to sleep, don’t be so loud.”
He knew he needed to keep her awake, but he felt so guilty waking her. She looked so peaceful, and how could he find it in him to ask her (after everything she’d been through) to stay awake? 
However, his dad did it for him. He waltzed in the room with his booming voice, announcing both their names as if they wouldn’t respond to just a quiet tap on the shoulder. The sound made Lydia jump up immediately. She grabbed both of his arms with a death grip, nails digging into his forearms with rattled breaths. 
“Lyds, it’s okay, it's okay,” Stiles said soothingly, his hands turning up to grab her arms back in any way he could. She looked at the sheriff with wide eyes, then met Stiles' gaze. The fear in her expression melted, and her forehead fell into his. “It’s okay,” he said again, watching as she closed her eyes and slowed her breathing. “I’m right here. I’m not gonna let anything else happen to you, okay?”
She nodded against his head. Stiles reluctantly pulled his head from hers, pried a hand from her tight grasp, and looked at his dad with sigh. “Yeah?”
“Well uh,” he looked a little uncomfortable, his eyes scanning the two of them as if he was trying to put the last pieces of the puzzle together, but they just didn’t fit. He knew they weren’t together, yet he couldn’t help but feel like at this moment, they were. “Well, Lydia’s mother, she’s uh, she’s gonna need to come down to the station. She wants to make a report on Eichen House and she doesn’t seem to want to wait - can’t really say I blame her. She was wondering if you one of us could -”
“I’ll bring her home,” he was holding her hand again now, Lydia squeezing back (tight), “No problem.”
“Alright, sounds good,” he cleared his throat again, his eyes flicking to their joined hands, then back to his son. “Scott ran off somewhere, god knows where, he mumbled something about Liam needin’ him or somethin’ like that. You sure you guys will be okay? I’m sure I can call a deputy down to help -”
“We’re fine, dad,” Stiles cut off his dad’s spiel with a half smile. “We’ll be fine. Lydia’s house is only like 10 minutes down the road.”
“Okay,” he nodded, still looking weary, “well, if you need me son, if you need anything,-”
“You’ll be the first one we call,” he stood up then, helping Lydia to her feet beside him. He wrapped an arm around her waist as she walked, much more steady than before but still weak. They stopped in front of his dad and he softly smiled as he said, “I promise, okay?”
The sheriff nodded, his forehead still frowning, but honestly that was his normal expression now-in-days. He patted his son on the shoulder and said, Alright, well, be safe.”
Stiles gave him a wink and, “Always,” before they made their way out of the clinic and to his jeep. He helped Lydia in the passenger seat first, then he made his way around the car, quickly to his seat before resting his hands on the steering wheel and letting out a long exhale. 
“You okay?” Lydia asked him, the tone of concern in her voice. Stiles laughed, looking at her like she just made the funniest joke he’d heard all night (not that he’d heard very many jokes at all all night). She pouted at him, her head pressed against the headrest as she glared, “Why are you laughing?”
“Lydia, you literally almost died today, and you’re asking me if I’m okay.” He shook his head, his eyes on the steering wheel as if the car is supposed to drive itself. “You’re unbelievable.” He meant that in the highest of regards. She thinks. 
“Hate to break it to you Stilinski,” she raised her head, trying to reach his eyes, “but you almost died today, too.”
He turned then, locking eyes with her, and his breath hitched in his chest. Her hazel hues glowing in the moonlight, the soft smile on her lips. She looked like death, not that he would ever tell her that, and she still was the most beautiful creature he’s ever seen walk his earth. A sudden flood of love overcame him, which then quickly was partnered with worry. “Are we sure it’s okay to bring you home? Shouldn’t - shouldn’t Deaton want to keep you overnight for observation? Shouldn’t we make sure you’re going to be alright-”
“Stiles,” she grabbed his knee and squeezed. It stilled his bouncing leg, and stilled his racing thoughts. “Take me home,” her mouth curved up just slightly, “please. I just want to go home.”
“Okay,” He nodded and he felt tears pricking his eyes again. Why? Now was not an appropriate time to cry, dear god Stiles - just drive. “Okay.” He shook his head and let out an uneasy breath as he started the ignition, the jeep purring awake. “Let’s get you home.”
-
He helped Lydia in her room, waited for her as she showered, and now he was wrapping covers around her legs, propping pillows behind her back, and fidgeting around like the world was going to end if he stopped moving for two seconds. He was rambling now, going on about all the things she needed and looking around the room for something to help ease her discomfort. “Stiles,” she said, hoping he’d stop moving like a fly trapped in a jar. 
He didn’t hear her. “Do you need anything to eat? No? Drink, maybe? Water? God, I bet you’re freakin’ thirsty -” he looked at her dry lips and ran a hand through his once spiky hair. All the gel had been combed out by his own nervous hands. “When was the last time you had anything to drink? - ya know what, I’m just - I’m just gonna go get you some water.”
Before Lydia could protest, he was gone. She sighed, leaning her head back on the pillows and watching the ceiling. The mistletoe and everything else Deaton did helped, but she could still hear the voices, when there was nothing else to listen to, nothing else to keep her mind off the pain. She closed her eyes, sucked in a breath, then released it only to suddenly hate the idea of sleeping. 
“Stiles,” she shouted, the voices slowly getting louder the longer he was gone. What was taking him so long? “Stiles!” She was getting frantic. She started ripping the blankets from her legs, her feet ready to go searching for him, when he came practically falling in the room with a glass of water in his hand. 
“What? Are you okay? What happened?” he stumbled at the side of the bed, falling to his knees in an instant. He sat the glass down instinctively and immediately checked her like something was physically wrong - cupping her face with his hand and searching her eyes. 
Lydia shook her head, feeling a little guilty, “I’m fine, sorry, I just…” there was no reason to lie, this was Stiles. He’d seen her at her worst and told her she was beautiful for it. “The voices, they just get really loud when it’s quiet.”
“Right, okay,” he licked his lip top lip, then bit down, looking around her room like he would find answers. “Quiet equal bad, we can work with that.”
“Just don’t…” she held onto him tight, like he was her anchor, “don’t leave me again.”
Stiles was giving her that mouth gaped open, nodding like a speechless idiot face. “Uh, yeah, yeah you go it - no more leaving.” Then his eyes caught sight of her nightstand, three DVD’s stacked beside her lamp. “What about a movie then? Yeah? Doctor’s orders?”
Lydia wanted nothing more than to sleep, but she knew sleeping sounded like the scariest thing she would do today. She nodded, realizing then that she was crying - she wasn’t even sure what that started happening. No wonder Stiles acted like her very life was in his hands, she probably looked like a ticking time bomb. She also realized she was holding Stiles’ hand, which she needed to let go of for him to put a movie on. 
Stiles put on the movie, one of Lydia’s favorites - he didn’t even have to ask, he just knew the perfect movie she would love. It was her comfort movie, and he knew it. Then he crawled back beside her bed and leaned his body against the side. His face was on the corner of her mattress, watching the previews like he’d never seen the trailer for a chick flick before. He was so exhausted, she could tell he was doing everything in his power to stay awake. She was lying down, curling up as close to him as possible, but she felt cold and alone. Every time she closed her eyes she could see Eichen House, the doctors, the patients, the victims. She could hear the voices seeping into her mind. The only time she remembered being at peace was when she was holding Stiles’ hand. She couldn’t do that very well right now, and if she was honest she didn’t want to just hold his hand.
“Stiles,”
“Hm?” he said sleepily. He nudged his head back, looking at her with all the love he could muster (which was a lot). “Something wrong?”
“No, it’s just… you don’t have to sit on the floor you know.”
He looked so confused, his brows knitting together as he looked at her bed, then back to her eyes. “I don’t?”
“I have a king size bed, Stiles. There’s plenty of room up here for the two of us.”
“Yeah?” she didn’t waver, so he then said, “Yeah, okay, yeah,” he stood up, crawling on the bed from the end, “plenty of room, right? Not like we have to cuddle or something-” 
Once he got to the top she pulled on his arm, wrapping it around her waist and snuggling into his embrace as he settled into the bed beside her. Stiles was in shock. He knew this was purely platonic need for physical touch in he midst of a mental and emotional crisis… but he was spooning Lydia Martin, and it was her choice. “Don’t go anywhere, okay?” 
He didn’t know how to answer. He just stammered out, “Sur-sure, yeah,”
“Stiles,” she intertwined her fingers with his and looked back at him with a frown, “Promise me you won’t go anywhere?”
His face relaxed, meeting her eyes like she was the only thing that brought his mind to peace. He could have a thousand thoughts racing at once, but when she looked at him, everything was still. “I’m not going anywhere,” he tightened his arm around her, “I promise.” She smiled at him and kissed his cheek. His eyes fluttered, “What was that for?”
“A thank you,” she turned back towards the movie, snuggling further into his embrace. “For saving me.”
He whispered back, “What else was I gonna do? I couldn’t let you die. I’d lose my freakin’ mind.”
She didn’t answer, she just closed her eyes with a smile on her face. Within minutes she was sound asleep in his arms. He just watched her, terrified about what would happen if he fell asleep too. Someone drilled a hole in her beautiful freakin’ head - that had to be bad for the brain, right? He watched the movie some, but when she’d flinch or squirm his attention immediately went back to her - holding his breath every time until she showed signs of being alright. 
It had been so long since he allowed himself to think like this - so long since he’d allowed himself to even consider Lydia as anything but a friend. The thing was, he knew he still was just that for her - just a friend. Stiles was always who she went to when she was hurting, but never who she went to when she was in the mood for a good cuddle or a make-out session. That wasn’t them - he had been friend-zoned far too long now for that. 
That didn’t change the fact that he now was realizing something he didn’t want to realize. Through all the years of knowing Lydia, his feelings for her were once shallow, fragile, inexperienced - but now, her laying in his arms after almost dying, he knew what she really meant to her. It killed him that he was allowing himself to think this way, but the thing was he always knew, he just wouldn’t let himself get so far as to put words to it. It hurt too much. 
Lydia flinched, Stiles holding just a little tighter, and she relaxed back in his arms. He whispered so quietly, he could hardly hear himself even say it: “I love you, Lydia Martin.”
“Mmm,” she hummed, eyes closed, “I love you, too.” Stiles popped up, his ears having to have played a trick on him. Then in her sleep she mumbled, “No mom, I don’t need another prada bag.”
Stiles laughed to himself and fell into the bed again. The hardest part was knowing tomorrow he’d wake up with Lydia Martin in his arms, and then having to go through the rest of his day acting like it meant nothing to either of them. Like it was nothing to him but pure platonic cuddling, for emotional support only, of course. 
Stiles found his eyes drifting closed, unable to resist the pull of sleep any longer. His last thoughts were of the blissful reminder that Lydia Martin was in his arms, alive, and he was never going to let anything else ever hurt her again.
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In recognition of 200 followers.....
I composed a list of 200 hero x villain dialogue prompts for you guys to ask me or reblog it and ask your own followers or if you take inspiration.
Thank you so much! It means a whole lot!
1. "I wish I had longer to love you."
2. "Sometimes being the greatest is being the worse."
3. "I will kill you if you die on me."
4. "Bury me... under a willow tree... with tulips and lilies to blossom in the spring and a small stream to keep me company."
5. "Villains aren't capable of love; yet, here I am crying over your grave."
6. "The kitten's name is Max."
7. "I'm going to get a beer."
8. "There is only one way to kill me, but you could never muster the strength to pull through."
9. "I'm dizzy with love for you."
10. "Hero, you are drunk not a toddler."
11. "I pledge to serve you willingly, butthead."
12. "Ride the waves with me." "You are a mermaid, no thanks."
13. "Stay awake for me; it's only a little farther."
14. "I can't carry you!"
15. "He isn't much, but we'll make do."
16. "I WANT TO SEE HER! LET ME SEE HER PLEASE. Please..."
17. "George Washington never told a fib, and I am greater than him, so trust me, Hero, when I say I am telling the truth."
18. "Eggs and butter make dough, knives and guns make death."
19. "You are insane."
20. "The bomb is going off in twenty seconds, Hero. Run now. I-I'm going to stop it."
21. "What is love?"
22. "I don't get the function of hugs."
23. "Mentally I'm good, but physically..."
24. "I only wished for happiness from that genie. I guess it was evil."
25. "Break him, shatter him, destroy him."
26. "Sing with me."
27. "Villain you are touch starved, not dying."
28. "What the heck did you do to your hair." "What? You don't like it?" "It looks like my cat's litterbox."
29. "Don't give me hope."
30. "I am not a disease or a parasite. I am a human. I am one of those millions you swore to protect."
31. "Kiss, marry, kill?" "Kill, kill, kill."
32. "You created me."
33. "Villain don't you dare pass out."
34. "I like the look of blood on you, compliments your eyes."
35. "I kinda dropped Hero through space."
36. "Power exhaustion sucks."
37. "Time to save the world. Yay!" *says in sarcasm*
38. "Let me feed you Hero."
39. "You do not have AC?!"
40. "Villain you have a fever."
41. "Am I drunk?"
42. "Movies. Nine o'clock. Don't be late."
43. "Lemme grab a beer and we are good to go."
44. "Don't. Look. At. Me."
45. "He just had his wisdom teeth out sooo." "How bad can it be? Villain has been shot with twenty tranq darts at one and didn't pass out... immediately anyway, took a good twenty minutes." "Well, you see-" "THE KITTEN IS TRYING TO KILL ME!!!!!"
46. "She needs surgery."
47. "It's a panic attack..." "KISS HIM!"
48. "Blood, gore, madness... this was made for me."
49. "Quit drooling on me and sit up."
50. "There's only one bed."
51. "He looks so cute when he sleeps."
52. "Of all the places to live, you had to choose a heavily fortified medieval castle two thousand years in the past?"
53. "You are a peacock Hero."
54. "Let's see who will drown first. You or me. One, two, three... let's go!"
55. "I wasn't always like this."
56. "Madness is for geniuses, not for me."
57. "It's just a sedative that's going to make you nice and docile."
58. "He's out." "Good, let him rest, villainy is hardwork."
59. "I love her, but she doesn't love me."
60. "If I had a choice to save you or me, I'd pick me."
61. "Gag her."
62. "They aren't made for this, give them mercy."
63. "Talk now or she dies."
64. "Broken ribs, broken jaw, broken arm... are you sure you want me to continue." "No." "Then tell me your name."
65. "Get me some thread and a needle. Just don't touch me."
66. "The police are coming."
67. "Tell me where she is. TELL ME WHERE IS SHE OR I WILL SLASH YOUR THROAT AND TOSS YOU IN THE SEWER!!!!!"
68. "I love you." "I don't."
69. "Hug me just one last time."
70. "Villain hey hey hey. Calm down. You've been in a pretty bad accident."
71. "They won't be able to walk again."
72. "Tell me... just tell if they made it."
73. "Can't you just poof me another arm?"
74. "If you saved all of them, you can save me."
75. "I'm really tired..."
76. "Sleep. I will stay with you."
77. "She is sixteen years old." "All musicians start young." "This isn't a concert, this is life. Stop ruining it."
78. "He"s been in an accident." "Where?" "Five minutes away from your place."
79. "I wish he wasn't unconscious, so I could talk to him. So I could thank him."
80. "It's been four months now. I have came everyday and, uh, I dunno what to say. Hero, I need you to wake up. I can't function knowing you are right here."
81. "I have a date." "Hmm with who?" "Supervillain." "When and where honey?"
82. "Shhhhhhh. Be quiet. We are still being hunted."
83. "Desert?" "What are you trying to do? Kill me?"
84. "I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you." "I know, I know dear and I so sorry, but I need you to help me. I need you to help them."
85. "Villain just sleep. Allow the drugs to take you under. Don't fight it, don't resist... just sleep. In the morning, we will be safe."
86. "Being lost in the woods isn't ideal."
87. "An injection of valium will do it."
88. "There's no anesthesia."
89. "Wouldn't it be great if we never met each other?"
90. "Bless you." "I didn't sneeze." "Yeah right. Now go sit down, you're sick."
91. "It's called insomnia you dim-wit."
92. "Join me and we can be great."
93. "You didn't bring me here for the cake." "No, dear, but you are so gullible. I brought you here for a sacrifice." "My life?" "Why yes."
94. "I don't know. I never had someone collapse on my doorstep before."
95. "I have nothing to lose. No family, no friends, just my meaningless life."
96. "That's my daughter, not the villain's... so give me her back before I rip your eyes out."
97. "How long was I out for?!" "Ten minutes, but you were drifting. I don't think you had that good of rest." "Oh, I thought I was asleep for hours."
98. "I know, I know you are going to hate me after this, but trust me when I say it's for the best."
99. "I know everything about you."
100. "I think narcissism is contagious because after watching you for a couple hours, I think I may have developed a little crush on the mirror..."
101. "What did you give me?"
102. "Is she screams, I'm going to scream, and then we are going to die."
103. "No fighting today, my cat just died."
104. "How hard did you punch me?"
105. "Not gonna lie, being delirious was epic."
106. "I am cooking for you. You aren't my servant, so stop thinking it."
107. "My old masters made me into a weapon and called me Villain, but if you desire a lapdog I am going to need to be refurnished to fit your needs."
108. "What is his deal?" "I think he's just crazy."
109. "Love is not what I had in mind when I agreed to go on a date with you."
110. "Hugs are overrated."
111. "Are you too hot or too cold?" "Both."
112. "I wish we could turn back time."
113. "I lost the game." "What do you mean? Hero is dead." "Precisely."
114. "Make a wish." "That you live."
115. "Villain has been acting exceptional! Today we granted them a break from the machine. Go ahead Hero and take him for some ice cream."
116. (Sleepy murmurs) "Don't go. I neeeed you." "Yeah yeah I know Villain."
117. "Villain was the one who hurt me, not Hero."
118. "Supervillain is in danger!"
119. "If everyone is scared of me, I might as well be alone."
120. "My head is killing me."
121. "Don't call an ambulance. Just... hold me."
122. "You don't have to do this. It's going to hurt you more than me." "Anything for you dearest, anything at all."
123. "Hero, go wash your hands before dinner."
124. "You have PTSD?" "I don't know?"
125. "I have soap in my eyes!' "Rinse it out." "Mm no I'm permanently mortally blinded." "Uh huh."
126. "We need to cuddle to keep warm."
127. "Take care of them for me, will you?"
128. "When I'm gone, promise to tell my mother, please."
129. "Drug him and then bring him to me."
130. "Superheroes are for children. In all honesty, we are all villains."
131. "Oh my gosh, Hero, what happened?" "Poisoned."
132. "Wouldn't it be nice?" "I don't fancy prosthetics."
133. "Just shut up and listen!"
134. "There is a memorial parade for Hero tomorrow. They asked you to lead it."
135. "She turned it around... at the end."
136. "I wish that he understood how much I care for him."
137. "Civilian! He fell asleep in my lap last night, like totally zooted. It was so cute, but also very tempting. I stuck a french fry up his nose." "Wow. Did he wake up then?" "Yeah, I am sorta kidnapped right now..."
138. "The book, the sword... all pieces of the puzzle huh." "No, darling, all pieces of my game."
139. "Their death is my fault! Not your's, but mine, so quit trying to make me feel better."
140. "Once upon a time-" "Oh please, not another fairytale."
141. "If only it was that easy."
142. "We are stuck in a maze, how can you be so joyful?"
143. "Celebrate Hero, eat your cake, party into the night... but just know, I will be back."
144. "Call 911!" "Why?" "I stubbed my toe."
145. "Your jawline looks like it was gauzed over in lard." "It looks better than your hay for hair."
146. "You're my best friend." "Villain? Are you on drugs?"
147. "Lay him there and leave him. Let the rats dine on him."
148. "The point of the cow suit?" "Oh, uh, I was at a Halloween parade. You know, for children."
149. "I-i never wanted to hurt you." "I know, I wanted you to, so I allowed it."
150. "Favorite movie?" "Your death." "Ooo never heard of it, let's watch it." "*groans* Oh my gosh, you are stupid."
151. "Being a flutist is my only superpower. And being modest apparently."
152. "Your head will join my collection if yoi don't watch out."
153. "Hey, hey! Wake up, buddy. It's just a nightmare."
154. "Meh head hurts." "Yeah, you hit it pretty hard."
155. "Let's go for a ride." "On that yellow miniature school bus?" "It's a ranger you idiot."
156. "No painkillers, no bandages, perfect environment for infection to settle... I'm just gonna leave you here Villain."
157. "I save you and this is how you repay me? A prison?"
158. "What are you doing?" "Climbing a tree? No Hero, I am breaking into your house to kidnap you."
159. "I formally apologize."
160. "Of all places, Hero, you had to teleport us to a desert. A DESERT."
161. "Supervillain won't stop unless we team up." "I don't think our alliance will stop them, I think it'll just make them angrier."
162. "Stop singing or I will blow this place until even the last atom is broken into itty-bitty molecules!" "That... that is scientifically impossible."
163. "I'm a genius! Yippee!"
164. "Life isn't perfect and nor is your morals."
165. "Control yourself before you kill everyone around you."
166. "Say your goodbyes."
167. "Of all the ways I've died, drowning was by far the nicest."
168. "Love the collar. Is it for fashion purposes?" "Uh, um, uh, er, no?"
169. "You look lonely. Want some hot coco?"
170. "It is negative million out there and you expect me to come in toasty warm after fixing your power?"
171. "Are you sick?" "Yeh." "Come on in then."
172. "Civilian, don't even bother trying to save him."
173. "We have a breach!"
174. "What makes a villain's life less important than your's?"
175. "Enjoy your soup." "You poisoned it." "And you're delusional, eat up."
176. "I hate 99% of the population." "According to a meme I found, you are therefore a cat."
177. "Don't overuse your powers."
178. "This is just an unfortunate event."
179. "You look so cute when you are sleepy and barely conscious."
180. "His fever is rising."
181. "Save her, leave me. I'll-i'll get out of this somehow."
182. "Sometimes self-sacrifice isn't noble, it's selfish."
183. "You are so funny that I need my inhaler to kill you with." "That sentence was so discombobulated that I am leaving."
184. "Just for your information, I hate oranges but love grapes."
185. "Walking down the stairs shouldn't be a momental effort." "You broke both your legs."
186. "You just destroyed my life's work, don't expect me to give you a huge bear hug."
187. "Is it true that you have telekinesis?" "Yes, why?" "Go steal me a donut."
188. "You are so incredibly touch starved, Villain." "Mmm." "Tired? Go ahead and sleep, I'm here."
189. "This is for your own good, I promise."
190. "I'm cold."
191. "I don't want to move and you can't make me."
192. "I AM RETIRED! YOU DON'T NEED TO CONTINUE TO SEND ME PAMPHLETS OF THE HOTTEST HERO OF THE YEAR!"
193. "He's unconscious." "That tired, huh." "No, he passed out from blood loss."
194. "I want a kitten."
195. "I'm no scared of you, so stop acting like I am."
196. "He isn't dangerous, just scared."
197. "They won't be going anywhere for a long, long time."
198. "Hero? Hero? Oh my goodness, please wake up."
199. "Life is too short for pleasures."
200. "I hope you are happy, in the end."
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- 𝕄𝕪𝕥𝕙𝕤 𝕒𝕟𝕕 ℂ𝕦𝕣𝕤𝕖𝕤 -
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It was early in the morning , the Sun was barely up in the sky and the morning cold air roamed , marking down that the winter season was soon to come. It was no surprise that Joelle had dug herself deep into the mysteries of the ancient civilizations and the amount of history that followed right after it. She was so invested in finding more information about the arrows and all the crazy 'magical artifacts' that she never really noticed that she hasn't slept for 2 days straight . The purple-haired pillar was looking through so much paperwork to the point where it was scattered all over the place in her office . Every little second was of value if it meant finding more information upon how they can put a stop to it all... a stop to the amount of madness that was growing more and more each passing day. It almost felt like she wasn't getting anywhere , it felt like an endless maze that you're trying to escape to reach the secrets behind it. The more turns you make , the more tangled up you get yourself and keep wondering when will you see the exit of it. She paused herself for a short moment to regain herself , since it felt like the lack of sleep is finally catching up to her , she reached over to the fresh cup of tea she made earlier to try and keep herself awake at some point. Joe focused herself completely on each and every letter that was written on each of the papers until she heard her phone ring , causing her to nearly jump out of her seat and in the whole process without even realizing she had waved her hand to the side hard enough to knock down the cup she had on her desk .
->"Ahh!! Shit , Shit!! I should of known better than to leave it there!! It was gonna happen sooner or later...!!"
She huffed annoyed to herself , because she had one at the back of her head knowing that this will happen sooner or later. A heavy sigh left her lips as she used her ability to rewind the whole scene so the cup was safely returned back in it's previous position. Joe had to make sure not to cause any harm on the amount of papers that were scattered all over the place , since some were very valuable and there was no way she could find a replica if it was damaged. Now all that was left now was to find where the melody from her phone was coming from... She tried to possibly organize some stuff but it was not happening... she began to get more and more frustrated when the piles she had just tidied fell over. Joe looked so tired.. in all honesty she just wanted to fall into the pile of papers and just sleep for days... but that was not going to happen. She took a moment to herself to collect her thoughts , before using her ability one more time to give her the advantage of everything to just float around , giving her so much more space to find where her phone was. After nearly 30 minutes of searching around and probably over 10 missed calls she had finally found it under a large pile of papers. Joe finally managed to pick up getting a rather irritated tone on the other side.
📱 ->" Where were you?! Why didn't you pick up your phone!!? I rang nearly 20 times!! "
The familiar voice was none other than Rei himself , sounding rather angry .
📱 ->" I'm sorry , I'm sorry!! I didn't know where my phone was so I had to search for it... "
Joe brought up her excuse , Rei just sighed heavily.
📱->" I need your assistance on a very serious and 'delicate' case. We might of possibly found more clues that could give us good leads . "
Rei spoke up , as Joe felt her body all of sudden beam with energy the moment he mentioned that 'he found something that will help them.' But then again that left her in wonder what could he possibly mean with it ... surely for a while now , they have been bumping into a lot of dead ends but perhaps this time might be different , or so she hoped.
📱->"Alright! Where are we meeting up?"
She asked.
📱->" I'll have a car come pick you up so you don't have to wander around and waste more time , be ready in an hour. "
Rei gave out his order , before hanging up the phone. Joe began to feel a bit more energized by the news she had just received but there was till that feeling to the side of her body feeling rather heavy from the lack of sleep. She made sure to use this 1 hour she had to freshen up and clean up a bit , so her office wasn't a complete mess. Finally the last minute hit as she headed outside to be greeted by the car that was going to pick her up. Joe felt herself tilting her head to the side , as the tiredness was getting harder to fight with. 'Maybe I can take a short nap...' was the last though that came to mind until she doze off. The ride was rather short , it only took around maybe 25 minutes until Joe felt someone shaking her awake , causing her to freak out.
->"AAH-!! OH uhmm... I am awake , I wasn't sleeping... !!!"
She cleared her throat after her little nonsense as Rei just shook his head.
->"Lets go. I have to show you something."
The blue-haired detective sounded rather demanding about the case. Joe had seen Rei serious before , but this time he looked... more serious? If that made any sort of sense at all , but there was definitely something really odd about his whole behavior to begin with , so maybe it was really important. The purple-haired detective got out of the car and followed Rei along as the two of them entered what it looked like a specialized facility that was made for containing 'things' that weren't supposed to get out... This was really giving Joe the creeps , there was one thing she hated the most and it was facilities like these that just bring back bad memories. However she couldn't avoid them , because it was part of her job after all so she had to just suck it up man up and deal with it... or at least try to. She felt herself step closed towards Rei as they were walking down a hallway until they were greeted by a large amount of people who seemed to be working on something... and that something was behind what it looked like a special glass case. The atmosphere began to feel slightly more heavy the more the two of them got closer to it. Joe felt a familiar sensation hit her the moment her gaze fully fixated on the object right in front of her.
->" Our little 'archeology' crew found this artifact while searching for possible hint of ancient artifacts that might give us a lead upon what are we exactly dealing with and they stumbled upon something rather unusual... They found a hidden shrine room that contained this... mask inside of it. "
Rei began to slowly explain , making sure that Joelle was following up on what he was explaining , by the looks of it she looked rather hypnotized by the mask that was displayed behind the hard glass , giving Rei a possible hint that she might know something about it... or maybe something common to it.
->"We did some research on it but we didn't find anything until we stumbled upon a heavy locked book that it had a paper attached to it.. resembling the seals you have been talking about recently. "
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He added further.
->" I got a professional to try and open it up to see if there might be some information worth digging out , but it seemed mostly harmless. I figured a book that 'bizarre' looking might have something behind it.. but perhaps the force that was trying to keep it locked was weak... or at least this is how I would explain it to myself. "
Rei commented.
->"Well did you find anything?"
Joe finally spoke up , waking up from the trance she had fallen in earlier from eyeing the details of the mask bit by bit.
->" It was in another language by the looks of it , but we did further research and found something very interesting about it. It seemed to have belonged to some ancient curse... a shaman with dark powers who has been known throughout history to have been one mass murderer , causing nothing but chaos. "
Rei began his little tale.
->"It's said that he lived decades ago , spreading his curse... however he was later sealed away and trapped within seals to weaken him , thus making him link back into his 'mask'. Legend says it that there is still a trigger to it and it could unleash a deadly force like no other that will destroy everything in it's way... if we aren't careful enough who knows what kind of chaos we can unleash... I don't even want to think about the alternative. "
Rei sounded almost afraid of it.. surely he wasn't one to really believe much in fairy tales like these , but lately the amount of strange and bizarre things that have been occurring has given him another mind set upon possible ancient figures that might still walk this earth without anyone yet to realize it.
->"I figured you might know something more about it since you have history with these sort of things... but this seems far more fresh than any other ancient artifact that we have stumbled upon. I can't really confirm for sure from which decade it is , but it doesn't seem like it's too too ancient."
The blue haired detective added. Joe began to feel a rather strange sensation hit her all of a sudden.. it almost felt like her entire body was frozen and her gaze was fully fixated on the mask that was behind the heavy protection glass. She didn't know what was going on at all... for a moment there she felt like she might of just spaced out and maybe fall asleep while still standing.. but no.. this was much more different from her 'tiredness' ... it was something else... It felt like the whole room went silent , she couldn't even hear Rei explaining to her more about the so called 'ancient cursed mask' that was right in front of her. Joe felt herself fall into a trance to the point where even her eyes went blank.
->" You do know that you shouldn't toy with curses that you know nothing about.... "
She heard a voice... a voice she wasn't really familiar with .. that was definitely not Rei's voice.. was she hearing things? Was she finally starting to hallucinate or was her mind playing tricks on her? Was someone else from the people around talking to her? No.. that was not it at all..it felt like she had fallen into some kind of space that she wasn't aware of... because it felt like time had completely stopped around her. No one was moving.. neither was Joelle..
->"H-Huh....!?"
She heard her own voice echo as the voice that followed let out a small laugh.
->"Ahh.. so you can hear me? What a pleasant... pleasant... surprise ... "
The sound of that voice... it was sending shivers down her spine in a really bad way. She didn't know where it was coming from , but by the looks of it... the source of it was right in front of her. For a moment there she even thought she might of hallucinated .. the holes of where the eyes should be probably placed... they didn't look so empty... in fact it looked like they were staring right back at her. Joe gasped quietly to herself as she began to feel the sudden panic starting to hit her until she heard that voice again... laughing.
->"What are you so afraid of? You should be grateful that you have a gift... a gift like no other. I can sense it within you... you hold great power... power that can even match a god itself... or maybe close...You are not like those weak and pathetic humans ... hehehe..."
Another laugh creeped out as Joe felt in lack of words , she didn't know if she was dreaming or not , but this seemed much too real to be considered some weird dream or some weird hallucination.
->" But it seems like we might even share a special bond... because you are the only one that can hear me right now... It's... amazing , don't you think? "
He added , as Joe began to feel like her breath was starting to pick up pace ... she began to even heard her own heartbeat in her ears , trying to calm down.. this was not real.. she didn't want to believe it... she refused to ... but it was hard to..
->" W-Who... Who are you...?! "
She finally managed to gather some courage to speak up , however her body nor her mouth was moving.. it almost felt like she was talking to this strange voice through telepathy or something.. or at least that's how she would explain it to herself.
->" Who am I...? Hah... I am everyone's worst nightmare ... chaos itself... "
The atmosphere began to feel more and more heavy as it felt like the air around Joelle made it hard to breathe. The panic was really hitting her hard , for a moment there she felt like her own stand acted on its own like it usually does every now and then , but this time.. it felt so different...
->" It seems however I am short on time... But don't be so sad little one... I'm certain that we'll meet again soon enough ... and perhaps I will give a proper introduction... heheheheh.... "
Was the last thing the voice said until Joe finally snapped back into reality . The moment she finally felt like her soul returned in it's place , however her body wasn't responding to her still so she completely lost any possible balance she might of had her body began to swing down towards the ground , however before she could collide with the floor she felt a pair of arms catch her . Rei seemed to have reacted fast enough , managing to catch her. He looked down at her worried.. 'Now what was that all about?' He thought to himself. For a moment there he wondered what might of happened that caused Joelle to suddenly feel weak... Rei figured it might of been the lack of sleep or something . Regardless he was still very worried about her... thought perhaps he felt something... rather strange himself... but perhaps he could be in the same boat as her , maybe the lack of sleep was finally getting to him too.
->"Joelle!! Joelle can you hear me!? Are you there?! Are you okay??"
Rei called out , as her eyes finally regained their original form. It really felt like her soul left her body completely and it just returned... the feeling was horrid. She still felt rather dizzy from the whole little 'chit chat' she had with that strange voice that seemed to be connected with the artifact that was in this same room... She didn't even know how to explain it to herself .
->"Yeah... I'm alright.. Just a bit tired."
She wasn't lying about that , however she was not certain if she wanted to share with Rei what she just witnessed ... she couldn't really connect it in her own mind , let alone even try and explain it.
->"Why don't you sit down for a bit? You need some rest ... We can talk more about it when you have some more energy , alright? "
Rei offered , she always appreciated how Rei was always concerned about everyone ... he would put all the pressure on himself as long as he knows that everyone around him will be alright... he was certainly one big role model for Joelle without a doubt.
Perhaps it was time to just take a short break before continuing with this case...maybe what happened was actually a dream.... and the lack of sleep was really fueling her hallucinations factor... but it would still linger in the back of her head ...
...Or maybe there was another storm approaching .... All she could think of right now was that devilish voice echoing in her head.
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- " I'm certain that we'll meet again soon enough ... and perhaps I will give a proper introduction... heheheheh...." -
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The Treatment of Captain Syverson-Chapter 20: Second Assist
Characters: Captain Logan “Sy” Syverson, Shane Benton (OFC), various other original supporting/secondary characters
Summary: Shane reunites with friends and family, hashes out some feelings, and gets real with Sy. Can their relationship survive her trauma? And the threat that still looms above them?
Romance and Smut Abound HERE!
Word Count: 4500
Warnings: Mention of rape, alcoholic beverages, violent imagery…feels out the butt.
Author’s Note: You guys are so splendid and beautiful! I can’t thank you enough for your support and encouragement to finish this piece. First, welcome to new readers! I know poor Henry’s injury and subsequent physiotherapy has driven some of you here, and while I’m sorry for him, I’m glad I can consider myself something of a pioneer in this particular genre and provide you some help for your newfound thirst. To my OG readers, it is to you I owe this entire work, parts written and incomplete, and I hope an eventual book deal. I mean to mention you in my acknowledgements, should this ever reach a willing publisher. You’ve inspired me so supremely that I cannot quantify it, even with the words I hold so dear.
Since my last chapter was posted, we’ve said a relieved goodbye to 2020 and a tentative hello to 2021. To be honest, this year has started out worse than last year. Lots of bad weather in my area this winter, my sister is currently on her way to a new life in another state, and my grandmother, the last grandparent I had, passed away in February. Those last two things have been especially difficult to shake off and recover from, both coming to fruition pretty suddenly. Amongst all that, I’ve been pretty distracted by my other fandoms, especially Marvel, and I’ve been reading a killer book series that I’m utterly in love with. (The Throne of Glass novels by Sarah J. Maas. 10/10 recommend.) But I knew I needed to get back into Shane and Sy’s story, especially given the new and rekindled interest in the subject matter. In all honesty, I’ve had most of it written for months. It’s just been a matter of finishing it off to set up the rest of the story.
I really hope you all enjoy Chapter 20, Second Assist, and would love your feedback and notes. You are all so important to this story, and your notes, reblogs, and comments are cherished. Thank you so much for reading! Love from Hannah!
Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, Henry is not mine, le sigh, and all mention of him, his characters, any characters from his films, or his precious doggy, Kal, are strictly for transformative and recreational use. I neither ask for, nor accept payment for the work I post on Tumblr or AO3. Unbeta’d because this is for fun and escapism. This is an original work by me, Hannah. Please reblog if you wish to share. Please do not repost either in whole or part, as the work of anyone but myself. Thanks so much for reading!
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Shane woke in her warm bed, late morning sun streaming in through her sheer curtains, the heavier drapes parted to let in the light. She wished she'd remembered to close them before now. She really was not ready to be awake.
She was sore. Achy. Her sleep had been fitful and full of shadowy nightmares and muffled screams. Beyond that, she didn't try to remember images or events. She knew the general premise of the dreams. It would take a lot of time, effort, or a miracle to make her forget those traumas she'd been through in the last week. Not even forget. She knew she never would. But move on from them. Accept them. And heal from them…even that seemed a mighty obstacle. One she was not sure she could surmount.
Through the open bedroom door, she could hear Lynyrd Skynyrd and the clanging and sizzling of pans, and she could smell bacon and freshly brewed coffee. Sy had left the room, but had not, it seemed, gone far. She gingerly sat up, stood from the bed, and donned her robe as she walked out into the hall and down the corridor to the kitchen.
The sight before her warmed her heart. There was Sy. In only his boxers, daringly frying the notoriously dangerous breakfast meat. Upon her entry to the kitchen, she could also smell pancakes, and she thought syrup, as well. He seemed to be warming a bottle of the maple unction in a pot of hot water. He turned as she stepped on a squeaky floorboard, and grinned widely at her.
"Mornin' sunshine." And she was struck by the irony of someone with such a radiant smile calling her sunshine. Especially when she didn't feel much like beaming. But she couldn't help return the expression, even through her pain.
"Mornin' bear. Did you go to the store?" She knew she couldn't have any bacon in her fridge, and she doubted her eggs and milk were still good at this point. But she also couldn't think that he would leave her for any reason.
"Nah, some of the guys brought over some provisions. Matt worked on your car all night, too, and filled up the tank. It's as good as new. He and Nate brought ‘er over as well as the groceries. I just had ‘em get stuff I knew your family wouldn't be bringing later. They've had tons of food given to them this week, and they're ready to share. You should have seen your mom loading me down with sandwiches and chips and whatnot when I visited them."
"I still can't believe you met them. I really wanted to introduce you personally." Shane's face fell. She would never be able to get that back. She wanted to cry. Sy had poured her a cup of coffee and sat it in front of her with her favorite creamer.
"Darlin' I’m so sorry. I had to talk to them."
"I know." she sniffed. "I'm not mad. Not at you. Just…"she didn't want to say Elliott's name. "I'm disappointed that the experience was stolen from me." That so many things had been stolen from her. By that monster. There was no other way to describe him. Sy growled. As if he could read her mind. He really just knew her well enough and shared her thoughts.
"Well, don't worry, we'll have a nice dinner with them one of these days, and we can pretend. Sound good?"
"Yeah, and I can feign nervousness." she laughed.
"And I'll pretend too. That I'm scared to meet your dad." he chuckled. "What if he threatens me with his shotgun?"
"I'll pull the ol' 'Daddy, no, I loooooove him!' line, as I throw myself between you!"
"That oughta work." he laughed and kissed her on the forehead as he stepped toward the stove and flipped a pancake.
As they sat eating their late breakfast, Shane's mind wandered. Nothing had changed on the surface, but everything was different now. This cozily mundane breakfast with her boyfriend felt like an out of body experience. As delicious as it was, as wonderful and comforting as it should feel, her guard was up. Even through her amiable façade. She was not the person she was two weeks ago. She was not the same woman who said goodbye to Sy at the base. Maybe that was the real transformation. Maybe that was why nothing felt normal. It wasn't the world, but her own self coming back into it.
"Shane?" Sy asked, gently, but it felt like he was speaking through a megaphone directly into her ear. She was so startled, she nearly dropped the half full mug of coffee that was paused midway to her lips. A bit sloshed out onto the table and splashed her shirt.
"Shit!" she chided herself. It wasn't a big deal, but she felt stupid jumping at the sound of her own name.
Sy reached for the closest towel, hanging from the oven handle, grabbed it and started for her clothes with it. She stopped him. But she couldn't think about why the intimate act made her uncomfortable.
"No, don't, it's fine. These clothes have seen better days, anyway." She pulled the towel from him and began to mop up the small puddles of coffee around her plate.
Sy seemed to note the stains already present on the shirt, as if trying to divine their history. She was something of a messy eater, so the battle wounds of many a barbecue, spaghetti dinner, and hurried breakfast peppered the now off-white SATB club tee she'd gotten her second or third year in college choir. She thought back to a huge room with high ceilings. White, cinder block walls, flecked tile floors, a beautiful, glossy, black baby grand in front of a long whiteboard with black lines to resemble sheet music. She thought about the mnemonic device she'd learned to help her remember what notes appeared on each line, and in the spaces between them. She pondered the deeper meanings and implications of these devices. EGBDF…every good boy does fine. She thought about the "good boys" in her life. She knew many. Her dad, her brother Ethan, Sy, obviously, her many male coworkers and friends…and honestly they did far better than "fine." They were wonderful. But she was letting the "bad boys" she'd encountered dictate her mood. Permeate her psyche. Tear her down. She didn't want to be like this. Then FACE came to mind, and above their purpose of indicating the notes between the lines on the staff, they called her to action. To face these newly minted demons with all the strength she knew she possessed, and she too would "do fine." But as with almost all actions, this was easier said than done.
She felt a warm presence on her left hand which had paused it's torture of the now coffee-infused kitchen towel. Sy's hand was squeezing hers gently.
"Shane." he uttered, barely above a whisper this time. She looked at him through tears that she had not realized had formed. He continued.
"Shane, what can I do, darlin'? I'll do anything."
"Babe, you're doing everything you can, and more. This…this is all going to have to come from me. I…don't know when I'll be myself again…" she paused, tears streaming now. "I'm…I'm different."
"You're not though." he reached for her face, but she pulled away.
"I am, damn it! Sy, I was…" Words had power. And the one she was thinking of had more power than she thought was warranted. She knew that uttering it would take away it's power…and yet mustering the courage and strength to actually do so…seemed impossible. She took a deep breath, and disassociated herself from the statement, even though it was about her own past.
"I was raped." She refused to cry. She felt it all again. She had never said the words. She had never thought it necessary. Everyone understood. Sy, his friends, and she was sure her own loved ones had made the connection. But she knew she needed to say it now to drive home the points she was about to make.
Sy, looked at the table, nodding, not needing to be told in so many words something he already had surmised from the clear evidence. He remained silent. She went on.
"I love you, Sy. I have since the day we met, on one level or another, and I believe that I always will. But I…right now I can't be a proper girlfriend to you. I can't…be with you, touch you, be touched by you, in the way we used to be. In the way you deserve…and I don't know when…or even if…I ever will. Not that I don't want to. That's ALL I want in the world. To go back. To be the woman who fell in love with this…incredible man. To make love with you, but…I can't."
Sy's eyes were full of tears, their predecessors already descending his round cheeks and disappearing into his thick, dark beard.
"Sy, I don't want to lead you on and keep you tied to a relationship with no life in it. You deserve someone who's whole. Someone who can be a fully invested partner for you, and not this broken, damaged--"
"You stop that, Shane. I won't hear no more of this kinda talk. Y'hear? You're my girl. My woman. My person. No matter what. You gotta know I'd never leave ya just cuz you aren't ready for sex again. You don't think that I would, do ya?"
"Well, you went to Virginia…you took that job…knowing the distance it would put between us. Literally and figuratively."
"Biggest mistake of my life." Shane raised her eyebrows in surprise as Sy elaborated. "I couldn't focus on my classes without wishing you were there. Wishing I could team up with you for discussions and hand to hand combat training…that thought got me a little too excited, if you catch my drift." He smirked, pulling a sheepish smile from Shane. "Then in that forest. I dreamt about you every night. I thought of you constantly. I could barely breath sometimes, I missed ya so damned much. I was an idiot. I was insane to think that I needed anything other than you. Any MORE. There IS no more. You're it. You're the MOST! The most important thing in my life."
The declaration hung like vapors in the air, more felt than seen. Tangible yet ethereal.
"And when I found out that you were missing…I was…well, I think I looked like death…and not warmed over. You can ask the program director I met with after I got the news. She could tell I was just sick over it. And as I thought about it on the way home, pieced things together, started thinking about who'd taken you, I got murderous. Shane, I have been in dozens of battles, skirmishes, firefights, you name it. War. But…the sheer bloodlust I felt thinking about what you could be going through…I've never experienced anything like it. Everything was red. Everything. For days. Until I saw you, alive. And then it went red again when I saw the fear and damage on your face." she could tell he was doing his best not to talk about the farmhouse and that basement, but she still flashed back to the moments before and after his appearance there. The moments when she simultaneously prayed to live and hoped to die.
"You don't owe me anything, Shane. I just want you in my life, and I don't care what your presence looks like. Romantic, platonic, or somewhere in between. I'm here for you. And I wouldn't have it any other way."
Shane felt the urge to wrap her arms around her boyfriend, but could not seem to move more than one arm to place her other hand on top of his. She hoped the gratitude and love behind the small, but heartfelt gesture landed. It was all she had in that moment, no matter how abundant her affection.
~~~~~~~~~~
Shane's family's arrival was a complete blur to her. It was joyous, tearful, and the happiest she'd been in a long time. The moment she opened the front door for them, she was surrounded, engulfed with hugs from her parents and siblings. They stood in their affectionate huddle for several moments before Peg waved Sy over with marked insistence. He'd been standing by, observing happily, but not wanting to intrude on the familial reunion.
When they finally dispersed, John asked the two younger men to help him bring in groceries. The women headed into Shane's bedroom for a more private setting in which to talk. Shane filled her mother and sister in the best she could given the rawness of the wounds left on her mind by the events.
She leaned against the headboard cuddling with Gabby while her mom rubbed her feet. She had insisted on doing this thing that had always comforted her children, and made them feel much better when they were younger.
"Well, I'm very proud of you, pumpkin." The girls both looked at their mother, who rather uncharacteristically hadn't spoken in some time. Shane was nonplussed. Peg elaborated.
"You survived something that many women don't. You're talking about it now, which even more women don't. You may think you're broken, but you're just a tree damaged by a storm, but standing stronger than ever." Trust her mom to lay such wisdom on her. When she felt like giving up. When she just wanted pity. When she could only see defeat. Her mother had always found a way to encourage and buoy her and show her the victory.
"Mom's right." Gabby affirmed, and it was Peg's turn to be nonplussed, as the two women, though similar in so many ways, never seemed to see eye to eye. "It's true. Shane I've seen a lot of women come into the clinic in shoes very much like yours. And trust me…some of them…they don't make it to this point. You've got a long way to go before you're fully recovered, don't get me wrong, but you'll get there. You have us. And you have Sy."
"And then there's Sy." She diverted. "How am I supposed to plan any sort of future with him when…" She looked at her mom, and hesitated. Peg rolled her eyes.
"Shane, I know what the two of you get up to when you're alone. You don't have to be shy with me."
"Still…" she took a breath and spoke. "When I can't bring myself to…sleep with him?"
"Look at him, you're kidding, right?" Gabby chided, insensitively, but recanted at the pained expression on Shane's face. "Sorry, sis. Trying to lighten the mood a touch. Too soon. But seriously, I don't think this reluctance you feel will be permanent."
"And even if it is," Peg took over, "that man is out-of-his-mind in love with you, Shaney." She kissed Shane's toe before putting a sock on her foot. "He almost seems to worship you. Now, you know how I feel about using that term outside of religious context, but that is exactly the kind of love I want for you. Devout, and unconditional."
"But, mom, I can't--"
"Did you hear me? I said 'unconditional,' sweetie." Peg interrupted. "No matter what. No matter the obstacle. No matter the distance. No matter the circumstances. Love unwavering. That's what Sy has for you. I've seen it in him. Trust the momma."
The insistence her mother placed on trust had always ruffled Shane's feathers. Gabby's too, who she could feel stiffen slightly beside her. But Shane, for once, really wanted to trust her mother, hoping against hope that she was right. And that she, herself  wouldn't screw up the best relationship she had ever been in or was likely to ever be in again.
The girls had begun talking about some of the coworkers who'd brought food in the past week, and Peg couldn't resist remarking on the character of her favorites and judging the ones she didn't care for…oddly enough, getting more or less, the correct measure of them, as Shane saw it.
After what must have been an hour from the time they'd arrived, they heard a knock on the slightly ajar bedroom door. John poked his head in.
"Ladies, we've put a casserole in the oven, and completed various manly projects around the house--"
"Oh, daddy, what projects?" She cringed. She hated that the men had felt the need to "fix" things.
"Babe, your guest bathroom had not one, but two leaky faucets, your kitchen table seemed to be more of a teeter-totter, and half the light bulbs in the living room were out. Among other tiny things. You're welcome." he smirked his crooked smirk so similar to her own, and she returned it as if he was looking in a mirror.
"Thanks, dad."
"Anyway, lunch is almost ready. So, when you've finished your confab, let's eat."
Dinner passed amiably, Shane found a reserve within herself to allow some quasi-normal behavior, as long as you didn’t look too closely. She was talking animatedly with her siblings, making their parents and Sy laugh riotously. Shane noticed some odd looks passing between Sy and her father, but chalked it up to paranoia. She wished at least Gabby and Ethan could stay, but Heather would be over soon, and she deserved her own dedicated time. Shane wanted to give that to her.
She said her farewells to her family with promises to visit them the next day, and at least one more time before her siblings went back home, if she could work it out.
Sy was so wonderful the whole time. Standing by her, a hand resting lightly on her shoulder as they waved goodbye to the departing vehicle. He made her feel so safe. They went into the kitchen and cleaned up from lunch. Well, Sy cleaned. Shane was texting Heather about when she'd be over.
"Heather says she'll be here in about a half hour. She's picking up wine and pizza." Shane told Sy without looking up from her phone. She could see out of the corner of her eye, though, that he had just closed the dishwasher and was selecting a cycle.
"Sounds great. Do you want me to get out of here? Give you guys some time, one on one?" He asked as he dried his hands, wet from preparing dishes for the machine.
She thought about it, and shuddered. She played a scene in her head that startled her. In her mind's eye, she saw Sy leave and then moments later heard a knock on the door. Presuming it was Heather, she opened the door with abandon, only to see Elliott standing there under a flickering porch light, smirking maliciously at her and ready to overpower and abduct her again. She shook the thought from her head, but remained uneasy as she answered his question.
"Uh, no. Thanks. I'm sure she'll want to talk to both of us. She likes you." Shane grinned softly at Sy in an attempt to mask her trepidation over the thought of him leaving her alone for any period of time. She thought it had worked.
"Okay, well, whatever you think, sunshine. I don't wanna get in the way." He was wiping down the countertops. She felt so impossibly full of love for him, she was starting to wonder how she hadn't yet burst with it. She couldn't bear the thought of holding him back from a fulfilling relationship. He deserved everything she couldn't give him right now. And she knew she should make him leave her. Cut him loose. But she was, as she'd been since she'd met him, a weak woman. She couldn't stand the thought of being without him. Of him no longer being hers. And somehow worse, of not being his, herself. She would always need him for so many reasons, not least of which being her love for him. Maybe one day, she'd recover from this trauma, and be able to be who he deserved. To give him what he needed.
"You're never in the way, bear." She walked up behind him, wrapped her arms around his middle and squeezed him as tight as she could. He placed a loving hand over hers, sighing and smiling, though she had no visual proof of the latter. It was just a feeling.
Heather's greeting was no less exuberant than that of Shane's family, but it was more joyful and less emotional, even though she was immensely relieved to see her best friend after so long. They talked as if no time had passed, and Shane mustered up the dregs of her former self to have one more interaction for the day. Thank God it was Heather and not someone who would require more. She wouldn't have it to give.
"I am so glad you're okay, Shane! Things around the clinic have been bleak as fuck. Susan is loosing her mind, Anita is beside herself with concern, and the rest of us just plain ol' miss the hell out of you. And not just because of all of the overtime everyone has been pulling to get your patients seen."
"Oh, God, I'm so sorry! I didn't realize…wow, I'm awful. I didn't even think---"
"That you'd be missed? Think again, sister. The place would fall apart if you ever really left. But don't feel guilty. It's the least everyone can do, and they've all said it themselves. We all love you, and know that you'd do the same for any of us if you could at all. Hopefully you won't have to, though!"
Shane nodded, eyes wide in agreement. She wouldn't wish the last week of her life on her worst enemy. On the worst person in the world. Except maybe the people responsible. Tit for tat.
"Well, I'm sorry my absence has caused extra work for all of you." Shane looked into the deep glass of Chardonnay Sy had poured her from the bottle Heather had brought. She felt about as small as the air bubble making it's way up the sloping curve of the stemless vessel. She felt a guilt that she knew was fully void of logic. It made no sense for her to feel guilt for being kidnapped. But she had always had this notion, this nagging voice in her head that told her that her misfortunes were a direct result of her decisions. That she'd inadvertently stepped on the butterfly that resulted in the monsoon she was currently experiencing, and whatever cataclysmic events she would face next.
"Why in God's name are you apologizing for this, Shay?" Heather's tone was kind, but still mildly scolding.
"If I'd never been with Elliott, none of this would have--"
"Bitch, are you a fortune teller?"
"No, but--"
"Soothsayer?"
"No."
"Time traveler?"
"I wish!" Shane chuckled. But she really did wish.
"Have you any real and proven success at consistently predicting the future?"
"I don't, but--"
"No. No buts. No howevers. You had no idea what becoming involved with Elliott could have done. Were there signs, sure. But you can't look on the past as a rubric to judge the quality of your decisions. You know that. You can only learn from your mistakes. And you have."
"Heather's right, sunshine. You really have learned. You look for Elliott's behaviors in mine and shut me down quick if you see 'em. You're not going to let yourself go down that road again. And I'm proud of you for it."
Shane silently worried her wine glass. It was hard to argue with such truth. But it was hard to agree when her own feelings were in such stark opposition. So she did neither.
"Well, I've preached my sermon for the day." she laughed. "I've taken up enough of your time. Oh, your phone. It's in my purse. I think it's fully charged, but I turned it off."
Shane thanked her friend, then Heather hugged them both and took her leave.
"Y'okay, bug?" Sy asked her after what she surmised was several minutes of silence. Minutes she didn't notice as they passed.
"Mmm…" she trailed off.
"Can I do something for ya?" And she really thought about the question. He could probably do a lot of things for her. He could make love to her until she felt whole again, even if it hurt her at first. Not an ideal option. He could probably get them both some new identities and enough money to spirit her away to somewhere her past wouldn't follow. If she became someone new, literally, would she have to bring that old baggage, those old scars, with her? Again, suboptimal. But he could definitely take the source of all grief and turmoil in her life far into the Missouri back country, somewhere not even the hunters would venture, some fallow field or forgotten cistern, and end him. Snuff out his spark of life like a candle caught in a tornado. Spill a fatal amount of his monstrous blood onto the unforgiving earth and send him to the Hell to which he was undoubtedly destined. But did she want that? Did she want another soul as a scar on that of the man she so deeply cherished? He'd say it was worth it. He'd say he'd take a thousand more for her. A million. That was Sy.
"Nothing comes to mind." She lied. And he knew it was a lie, but didn't push it. She was so grateful that he respected her, not for the lie itself, but for the reason she wasn't giving him the whole truth just now.
His phone went off and he picked it up as he stood from his seat at the table. She could only hear that it was Matt, the guy she thought she understood had the car place, before she heard tension in Sy's voice. Even from the next room, she could tell something was wrong, though he was talking too quietly for her to make out words.
She heard him suddenly shout a stream of profanities that he rarely said at all around her, at least, let alone together. There was a bang, and the walls of her kitchen quaked like the tectonic plates beneath them were shifting.
Sy walked back in, his face was red, as were his knuckles. He was shaking an injury out of his hand.
"What's wrong?" she asked, deep concern at his appearance and demeanor, suddenly ominous.
"I need to fix your wall in there." he grumbled, evading, without success. She'd be doing therapy on his hand, next.
"What's really wrong?" she repeated, sternly.
"That was Matt. Elliott's…escaped, somehow. He's in the wind."
Shane's heart became so heavy, she could almost feel it smashing through the kitchen floor and burying itself deep in the cement floor of her basement.
"Oh, God! No! What if he goes to the police!?"
"Fuck that, I'm more concerned about him coming after you!"
The two stared, faces full of equal measures of concern for the other.
Up Next: Chapter 21-Patient Education
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marvels-writings · 4 years
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Something Beautiful
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Maria Hill Masterlist
Requested by Anon: Hi!! I absolutely love ur writing!! I was wondering if u could write a Maria Hill x fem!reader and they’re like married with a little girl and R gets hurt on a mission with Maria and Maria is trying to keep R conscious until the medical team arrives by telling R stories abt the day they got married, the day they adopted their daughter, their babies first birthday with them, etc. With a happy ending pls! Thx!!
Word Count: 4.4 K (long and angsty but def worth it)
A/N: This took me four days to write. So worth it. Take my advice and read it.
Warnings: A bit of gore, a bit of blood
Moonlight streamed lazily through the blinds. The sounds of a movie playing in the background and a soft lullaby filled the room as you rocked your daughter, putting her to sleep. She had been having a harder time sleeping knowing both of you might be gone when she woke up. It had taken you hours to calm her down, let alone put her to sleep.
When you began to take a little too long to put her into bed, Maria joined both of you. Her figure stood in the doorway, distorting the light coming from the hallway. You tucked her in, pulling the covers up to her chin before sighing.
“Do both of us have to leave?” You asked, probably for the millionth time in the last few hours. Seeing your daughter so upset was harder than you had anticipated.
“Y/n,” Maria began with a sigh, reassuring you time and time again. “you know we have to.”
You sighed again, stroking her hair gently. This wasn’t the first time you had to leave on a mission. You doubted it would be the last. But both of you were leaving. Not just you or Maria. One of you couldn’t stay home to reassure her that the other would be alright. You were leaving your daughter without either of her mothers.
Nervousness still nagged at you. You knew she would be safe, more than anybody. After all, she was in the Avengers compound surrounded by superheroes. All of them would be around her, all the time. It didn’t make sense to be afraid, but fears are never rational.
“She would be safe,” Maria assured you, patting your back. “she’s in the most protected facility in New York.”
Maria stated the obvious, over and over again in hopes of reassuring you. It did little to comfort you. You knew she was trying to help you, her nervousness wracking her all over, she just didn’t show it.
“I know,” you sighed, hoisting yourself off the bed and giving her a small smile. Your hand slid into hers like it had so many times before. Your fingers squeezed hers in assurance, fear just underlining it.
“let’s let her sleep.” You said, tugging her out of your daughter’s room.
Both of you left, not before glancing at her one last time before morning came. Closing the door behind you, you headed towards your room in the compound. You and your wife had decided to bring her to the compound to sleep rather than rushing through the motions in the morning.
Laura didn’t seem to mind, neither did the rest of the team. They enjoyed having Laura there more than anyone. Most of them seemed adamant about spoiling her, even Natasha. The redhead claimed to be her favorite aunt, a notion no one dared to contradict, even Wanda.
————
Morning came quicker than you had expected. Even after all the hours it took you to fall asleep, the sunlight streaming through your blinds seemed like it had taken shorter to come there. You knew that wasn’t the case as you got ready early for your mission.
Getting ready for a mission with your wife was usually noisy and involved multiple shouts to double-check everything. Now, it was quiet. Whether it was in fear or anxiety, you didn’t know. But you didn’t want to disturb it, scared of starting another argument about leaving your daughter alone.
In all honesty, the mission wasn’t that important. It was a basic recon mission to get information from an abandoned HYDRA base before they took it down. Nothing the Avengers or a basic SHIELD agent couldn’t handle. But Fury was adamant about having both of you there just for security. Despite yours and Maria’s best efforts, you had to go on the mission.
Everything was packed. The jet was ready. All you needed to do was leave, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to go.
Just before Maria dragged you onto the jet, somehow having more willpower to leave than you. Natasha came through the hangar doorways, your sleepy daughter in her arms. Laura’s head lolled from side to side as she tried desperately to keep awake.
“Nat, what are you doing?” You asked, heading over to both of them, tapping Maria’s shoulder on your way there. Your wife turned around and followed you towards your daughter. Laura reached out for both of you when you were just feet away.
“She wanted to see you before you left.” Natasha sighed, guilty for letting the little girl guilt trip her into this. The redhead knew neither you or Maria wanted her awake while you were leaving. Laura’s puppy eyes and pleading far too convincing for her to resist.
“Sweetheart,” Maria sighed, softening when she took her daughter into her arms.
Her posture softened slightly as her arms stroked her hair. Still holding onto some composure, she said her goodbyes softly, showing less affection than she normally would around your daughter. Maria cared too much about what others thought about her to be less professional.
You, on the other hand, couldn’t care less about being professional if your family was concerned. Everyone who knew you knew your family mattered more than anything to you. It didn’t matter to you what a random stranger thought of you. All that mattered was your family.
Once Maria said her goodbyes, you eagerly scooped your daughter out of her arms and excitedly twirled her around. Laura’s giggles broke out. She squirmed slightly to get away from you as you hugged her tightly.
“Mommy!!!” Laura squealed, her arms flailing.
Maria watched both of you lovingly, a small smile painting her face. You twirled your daughter once more before holding her in your arms. Her little face looking up at yours eagerly.
“Now, we’ll see you,” You smiled at her, bumping her nose playfully. The little girl giggled, waving your hand away from her face. Smiling, you leaned your face so your nose nudged against hers, causing her to laugh harder.
“The second we get back, okay?” You said, a sad smile creeping onto your face as your goodbyes came nearer. Laura sighed and hugged you tightly, sleep still threatening to take over her tired form. Natasha would put her to sleep once the two of you left.
“Miss you,” Laura muttered sleepily into your chest. You sighed and patted her back gently, pulling her closer to sleep. Maria moved to eye level with your daughter, lifting her chin to face her.
“We’ll miss you too,” Maria said, smiling at her sadly before kissing her forehead. The little girl closed her eyes, leaning into your wife’s touch.
“But we’ll be back before you know it.” She said hopeful, pulling away so you could say your goodbyes. Standing by Natasha, she watched you nuzzle your nose against Laura’s playfully. The little girl still sleepy, but staying awake so she could say her goodbyes to both of you.
“We love you,” You said, squeezing her tightly before hesitantly handing her over to Natasha.
“be good for them.” You kissed the top of her forehead, pulling away to catch her looking at you with sad eyes. Her hands grasped for you a little as you pulled away, breaking your heart to leave.
“I will,” Laura replied, her little hand waving in the air at both of you.
If she had begged either of you to stay, you would have stayed without hesitation. The little girl was much smarter than you gave her credit for, knowing if you left for one day you’d be home for longer.
“bye Mama, bye Mommy.” Laura waved as both of you walked away and into the jet. You smiled at her, watching her through teary eyes.
“Bye sweetheart,” Maria said, waving at her while walking into the jet. She turned the switch to let the hangar doors shut closed. A sigh left your lips when you couldn’t see her anymore.
You moved to sit down in the cockpit while Maria joined you in the pilot's seat. There was nothing to do until you got there. The ships automatic guiding system would take you there, even land you. You needed something to do, maybe rechecking the bags, anything else.
Maria sat next to you, watching out the window in silence. Her hand crept towards yours until she could secure your hand in hers. The gentle touch the only thing bringing you comfort. They thought you would see your daughter in two days bringing you more comfort.
You would come back, there was no possibility where this could go wrong. Even if it did, you would make it back, you had to. Your daughter needs you, nothing else mattered.
————
More went wrong than anyone had imagined. The info you had received was false. The base was crowded with HYDRA agents. The rest of the team you’d been sent in with, about 20 people you’d hardly gotten the names of had gone in with you. So far, only 10 had made it out. The other ten, you’d lost.
Maria had gotten everyone she could find out while you were getting the information. The information was in your hand, but it came at a high cost. The three guards you had to fight to get it were on the ground. But they had left their mark.
Your ribs were cracked and some were even broken as you limped towards where your wife was. Each breath was painful. Maria’s hand slid into yours as she tugged you towards the exit. All you wanted to do was lie down and rest. It was the last thing you could do.
“Just a little further,” Maria urged, grinning to herself when she saw the exit in sight. The helicopter was another half a mile, but she could call the chopper in a little early. Both of you knew it would still be another half an hour before you were safe.
“we’re almost out.” She pulled you further until you were in the last corridor. You chuckled and pulled her to a stop, needing a rest. Breathing ragged and broken, you leaned back against the wall.
“Always the optimist.” You remarked, eyes fluttering shut in relief as your ribs stopped jostling. Maria chuckled and squeezed your hand, wiping the cut on your forehead. Your blood came off on her hands, she wiped it off on her suit and helped you up.
“Only for you.” Maria winked as you chuckled, letting her help you towards the exit.
A HYDRA agent stood in the corridor, gun pointed at both of you. The thing that struck you first wasn’t the gun, it was his age. He was barely 20, scared out of his mind. He was only doing what his superiors told him to do. If that meant to shoot your wife, so be it.
You couldn’t let it happen, instead of jumping protectively in front of Maria. Your eyes locked with your attacker’s for one brief second. He flinched as he pulled the trigger. The explosion sounded in the room, evidence he’d shot. As he glanced down at the gun, still not believing he’d used it.
“NO!” Maria shouted, the explosion echoing in her ears as your body felt against hers. Her knife was drawn the instant he was about to shoot again. Without a second thought, she threw it at his chest, unbothered to see if he was dead.
You were sure she had never killed someone that easily. Even on missions, when someone had killed a member of a team, she showed them mercy. Now, the knife was burrowed into his chest, a pool forming around him.
Silently, Maria helped you outside, ragged breathing filling the air around you as you were helped onto the grass. The tiny blades slowly turning red as you were laid down upon it. Maria began to apply pressure onto your wound, wincing when you cried out in pain.
“Hey, stay with me okay?” Maria said rapidly, her free hand cupping your cheekbone, leaving your skin stained with your blood.
“You’re safe?” You asked, wanting to make sure she was okay. Clenching your jaw tightly, you tried not to show you were in pain. Her hands shook as she applied pressure, wedding ring digging into your wound.
“You’re the one that’s stabbed!” Maria shouted in panic, blue eyes meeting yours. She was alright if she could yell at you, she was okay. Letting your head loll back, you chuckled weakly. The sky above you was a bright blue, seem so happy, so beautiful, oblivious to what was under it.
Your wife rang in on comms for a medical, her face morphing into anger as she shot out a series of commands. After some whispering on the comms, she told them she would wait and cut out. Her hand returned to your wound. Her wedding ring slowly getting stained with your blood.
“Just a few minutes, stay awake,” Maria begged, pressing harder on your wound when your eyes began to flutter shut. “please.”
your body jerked in pain, trying in vain to get away from the pressure on your wound. You couldn’t help the groan escaping your lips, knowing it was hurting your wife to see you like this.
“So tired.” You muttered, head lolling lazily from side to side as your eyes began to flutter shut. A hand came up to cup your cheekbone, staining it with blood, lightly patting you awake. In a panic, Maria shook your shoulder, still applying pressure.
“Stay awake for me, okay?” Maria pleaded, moving up to make eye contact with you. “For me, just keep your eyes open.”
Her eyes met yours, bright blue searching yours for a will to stay fighting. Gulping, you clenched your jaw tightly, biting your tongue to keep yourself awake. It wasn’t helping. You remembered learning in training to keep talking to someone if they were bleeding, it helps them stay awake.
“Maria, tell me something.” You whispered, hoping she caught your weak words. Both of her hands centered on your wound, stopping the bleeding.
“What?” Maria asked jaw clenched tightly as she adamantly refused to show any emotion.
Too many things running through her mind, she couldn’t lose you. You, the person who had taught her how to love. The amazing person who had married her and brought life into this world. There were too many stories you would never get to tell, too many memories you would never get to make.
“I don’t know,” You tried weakly to shrug when a weak smile crossed your face. “tell me something beautiful,”
Maria pursed her lips, searching her mind for something to tell you. A story she made up wouldn’t do anything, maybe a memory. A beautiful memory, like your wedding. The details came to her mind quickly, she started talking about them rapidly.
Everything from the table setting to the people invited, she didn’t miss a single detail while describing it to you. The first song, your vows, the first dance. She romanticized everything, making it seem more beautiful than it could have been, though she doubted it was possible.
It still wasn’t working, your eyes began to flutter shut again. Your breathing slowed. Your head stopped lolling from side to side. You were slipping.
“Please, y/n,” Maria begged, her left hand coming up to stroke your cheek. The wedding ring scratching against the skin. “stay awake.” you didn’t show any sign of waking up, your body relaxing as your breathing slowed. Clenching her jaw, she tried harder.
“If not for me, for Laura, she needs you.” Maria urged, shaking your shoulder to try to keep you awake. Hearing your daughter’s name, you stirred and squirmed, keeping your eyes open.
Your eyes met hers, trying to urge her to talk about your daughter, to tell you to stay awake. You knew you couldn’t leave, no matter how tired you were.
Maria began to talk about your daughter. The day you brought her home. The day she started walking. Her first birthday. Everything. She wove it into a fairy tale of sorts, managing to convince you that your life was a dream. A dream you couldn’t leave.
For a while, it was working. Your eyes were open wider as you looked around for the medical team. They were only a few minutes out, the jet was already visible as they made their way to you. Maria saw it too, a grin forming on her face as she continued to describe your daughter’s first day at school.
As the blood seeped out of you, you began to lose more of your conscience. Your responses were blurry and slurred, she had to shake your shoulder to try to keep you awake. She could only pray the medical team came faster. There was only so much she could do.
In the middle of her sentence, she heard a buzzing from your suit pocket. A light frown on her face, she stopped speaking. Reaching into your pocket, she pulled out your phone. Natasha’s name was on the screen, she was calling you.
Both of you had told Natasha to only call in emergencies or if you were late. Maria could only assume it was one of the two. She sighed and held it up to your face, knowing it would ring for a little longer.
“You were supposed to leave this in the jet,” Maria muttered, ready to push the answer button when she noticed you were trying to speak. A lazy smirk spread across your face as you reached for the phone.
“Couldn’t help myself.” You smirked, still reaching for your phone. Maria rolled her eyes and answered the phone. Laura’s voice sounded on the other side, but she cut her off before she could talk.
“Hey sweetheart,” Maria greeted, whacking your hand away from the phone. “we’re a little busy right now.”
“Can I talk to mommy?” Laura asked, cutting off her mom. Maria blinked in surprise, she knew her daughter missed you the most when you were away. It was something you teased her about constantly, jokingly of course. But she never thought your daughter would call you because of it.
“In a second, can you hand the phone to Natasha?” Maria asked, persuading the little girl to hand it over to the redhead. Shuffling sounded on the other side as the phone was handed over.
“Sorry, she wanted to talk to Y/n and she was about to start crying,” Natasha confessed nervously, knowing Maria won’t be happy about it. Maria sighed into the receiver, ready to give Natasha an earful about letting Laura do this.
Before she could, you reached for the phone again. Maria glared at you and applied more pressure on your wound in a warning. You winced, still reaching for your phone before Maria whacked your hand away again. You couldn’t talk to your daughter like this, it would scare her. Death frightens the young the most.
More shuffling sounded on the other line. Laura cleared her throat angrily before speaking into the receiver again. She had been spending too much time around Tony and Natasha.
“Is mommy there?” Laura asked, almost pleading Maria to hand the phone over.
Hearing your name, you reached over again. The brunette couldn’t deny you to talk to your daughter. She knew you wouldn’t do anything to scare her, let alone let her know you were in any sort of pain. Handing over the phone, she watched you lift it to your ear before you started speaking.
“Hey,” You greeted, a bright smile crossing your face. Maria glanced nervously at the wound, hoping it wasn’t still bleeding. It had slowed dramatically, the only thing she could do was try to bandage it to make it easier for the medics.
“Mommy!” Laura shouted excitedly on the other line, causing your face to break out in a larger grin.
“how’s my favorite, favorite girl doing?” You asked, stuttering when Maria lifted your shirt and cool air met your wound. Laura didn’t seem to pick up on the pain in your voice.
Instead, she began to ramble about what she had done in your absence. It had only been a little under a day that you’d been gone, but she had done so much it felt like weeks. The avengers had tried their best to keep her occupied and her mind off of her mothers, it still hadn’t worked.
Her rambling continued, you made a hum or a short laugh whenever the moment called for it. Every laugh hurt your ribs a little more, but you didn’t mind. It made Laura happy to know her mother had paused a mission just to talk to her. You weren’t about to take that away from her.
Maria continued bandaging your wound, only stopping when she saw the medics approaching. They had all their gear ready, even a gurney to help lift you. Her stomach lurched when the severity of the situation sunk in.
“Y/n, the medical team is here.” Maria nudged your shoulder, you nodded to her. Waiting for Laura to stop rambling so you wouldn’t need to cut her off. But the little girl kept on speaking a mile a minute, adamant on covering the last few hours in a matter of minutes.
“Laura?” You interrupted, using her name. She stopped immediately, knowing you only used her full name when you were serious. You usually called her pet names or even nicknames, only by her full name when it was something serious.
“I have to go for a bit,” You said, hearing a loud sigh on the other end. “but me and Mama will see you the second we get back, okay?”
Another sigh sounded before she seemed to agree. Not wanting her mothers away from her but knowing you would come back soon.
“Okay mommy, will you be alright?” She asked curiously, noticing you’d been quieter than normal. You smiled at her concern, wanting nothing but to be home with your daughter.
“Of course, I love you, my daughter.” You reassured her, sniffling a little. Maria nodded to you, ready to take the phone away when you held it closer to your ear. Laura usually didn’t say it back, implying it instead when she hugged you after. Still, you hoped you could hear her voice say it.
“I love you too mommy, I miss you,” Laura admitted quietly. A smile broke out on your face. You wanted to hand the phone to Maria so she could get her goodbyes in. But there wasn’t enough time, there never is when it’s needed most.
“I miss you too baby, I’ll be back before you know it.” You assured, speaking quickly to get every word in before Maria took your phone away. Her hand quickly snatched it away, ending the call as the medics approached you.
They lifted you on the gurney, the bloody bandages hanging off the gurney, dripping onto the ground. Maria followed you despite the medic’s warnings. Her wedding ring still soaked with your blood. One hand held her phone tightly, the other reaching for you.
You were brought into the ambulance, an oxygen mask on your mouth. You’d passed out, in pain or out of blood loss, no one knew. Your body was limp. The heart monitor was attached to you, the steady beeping of your heart the only sign you were alive.
The medical team hurried to patch you up. Peeling off the bandages and sewing it up. Nervous eyes flitted up to Maria’s. Her intense glare making sure you were treated with the best care possible. The medics were careful, patching up the wound so you would barely feel any pain.
They continued to tend to the rest of your injuries, but they needed the jewelry off to clean you. Maria took off your wedding ring, holding it in her hand, wiping it off in vain. Your blood was on your ring, she tried to wipe it off with grubby fingers.
Sighing, she put it on the ring finger of her right hand, holding the phone with the same death grip as before. Maria didn’t let you out of her sight, even when you were being escorted from the ambulance into surgery.
The door slammed in her face, guards escorting her away from the scene. She tried to enter but found herself too numb to do anything. Instead, taking a seat in the waiting room, refusing to leave.
It took a few hours for the surgery to get over. Even longer till you were awake. Maria sat by your side through all of it. The wedding ring was back on your finger, cleaner than ever. She had slipped on the second she got the chance.
Half the day passed before you woke up. The moment you were awake, you wanted to see your daughter. You’d been away longer than you’d promised. It didn’t matter if you were injured, you needed to see your daughter.
So Maria got you out of the room and on the jet back to the tower. On the way there, you took a nap with your head resting on Maria’s shoulder, your left hand intertwined with hers. The wedding rings clinking together whenever the jet shook.
The sound comforting Maria, along with your soft snores. It assured her you were here, you weren’t leaving her. She spent the entire time awake, guarding over you, feeling lucky you were there with her.
Once the plane landed, Maria helped you out of the jet. A few of the guards took your things inside. Natasha appeared at the doorway with your daughter holding her hand. Laura grinned at both of you, oblivious to the way your back was hunched over as you walked.
“Mommy! Mama” Laura screamed, running towards both of you.
Grinning back at her, you straightened up and opened your arms. Maria patted your shoulder in a silent warning to be careful. She nodded to Natasha as a thank you, the redhead nodded back while the little girl barreled into your arms.
Twirling her around in your arms, you ignored the pain. Your daughter buried her head in your shoulder while your wife gently patted her back. Smirking, you leaned down to whisper something in her ear.
“Told you we’d be back before you know it.” You whispered, Laura giggled and pulled away.
Maria propped her up on her shoulders while the three of you walked inside. Laura chattered away about how much she had missed both of you. You were oblivious to the chatter, too caught up in the emotion of being back with your family.
Your wife had been right. The life you had was like a dream. A beautiful dream you never wanted to end.
A/N: Save my sanity and tell me what you think!
Tag List: @capcarolsdanver, @versdan, @lesbian-girls-wayhaught, @lovebotlarson, @dhengkt, @hstoria​, @natasha-danvers​, @veryfunnyal, @xxxtwilightaxelxxx , @ophelias-heart  , @never-didbefore​ , @justarandomhumanhere, @the-most-unicorn-of-them-all , @thatssocamryn , @lesbian-x-blackwidow , @wlw-imaginesss , @hcartbyheart , @summergeezburr , @imnotasuperhero   , @a-stressedstudent , @aaron-despair , @rooskaya-yelena , @thewitchandtheassassin , @wannabe-fic-reader , @izalesbean, @higherfurther-romanova   let me know if you’d like to be in any of my tag lists!
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mcu-fan-fics-blog · 3 years
Text
The Helping Hand
Summary: Y/N Krast Illegitimate Daughter of Tony Stark. Product of an unwanted teen pregnancy. What would Howard Stark be capable of doing to assure his sons future? What will happen when Tony meets our Beautiful, young, genius, rich philanthropist.
Word Count: 3800 approx 
A/n: Big steps today... Hope you enjoy. Also wanted to thank you all we've reached 39 followers. It is very much appreciated thank you for reading. Might post again this this week if not then next week.
Tw: Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Drug use, Drug addiction, Teen Pregnancy. (If there are any I missed please tell me.)
Ch.9
Chapter 10: Civil War pt.2
Ch.11
"Why am I really here mom?" You ask still with your eyes closed. "Why don't you tell me… I know you don't want to go back." She says calmly. You can only sigh. "It's all going to hell, the team. I love them all, but they are tearing each other apart." She chuckles. You open your eyes and just look at her. "Well then why are you here with me instead of stopping them from tearing each other apart?" She teases. You change the subject. She lets you though. "My… dad? Did you love him?" You are not sure if you wanted the answer, but you asked anyway.. "Did I love him… tough question monkey." She contemplates for a while. "He was childish, and not in a cute way, at least not looking back… I used to love that about him." She looks back at you, her eyes connecting with yours. "He changed though… when we found out I was pregnant. We were scared and young… but he cared. More than I'd ever seen him care for anything else."
You can't help but tear up at her memories. Then the anger builds in yourself. "Then why didn't he fight for me?" Your sentence dwindles into a whisper. "Who told you he didn't… or that he hasn't?" Her words shut you up right away. She laughs at your confusion. "I'm assuming you're not telling me who he is?" She nods in agreement "It's not my place to tell you." Then again you ask another question. "Did he love me?" She looks down to you and smiles. "Oh… from the moment he first held you. You made the most peculiar sounds… and your tiny hands would grip our fingers" She sighs. "I wish I had more time with you then. I tried really hard… to stay awake." She clears her throat. "But I couldn't fight anymore… But you have to." You sit up looking at her. "I don't want to leave you alone." She shakes her head. "I'm never alone…" now it's your turn to shake your head. "Living your life vicariously through mine does not count." She laughs. 
"I met Dave and Vivian" she mentions solemnly. You almost choke on your own breath at their mention. "They're here?" She nods enthusiastically. "They'll hear about this… one day you'll talk to them again." You groan. "Tell Dave… tell him that I'm sorry. Viv tell her that I'm taking care of all her sisters… all 5 of them." You chuckle. "Just tell them that I miss them…" She nods holding your hand. "God… you were supposed to make it easier to leave, not harder."
Tony sits at your bedside. "Why aren't you waking up?" He sighs. They've tried virtually everything and time was running out. "You can't leave me… you can't just waltz back into my life and die on me." He pleads with anyone who would listen. "You need to know that I'm your dad… you need to know that I'm your dad." He speaks into your hand. Your eyes wide open now. Having heard everything you instinctively pull your hand away. Soon you realize you can't breathe comfortably. It was an all around traumatic experience, tears soon started falling. Tony's initial shock prevents him from vocalizing your state. It isn't until Wanda walks in that she calls for a doctor. Tony stands in a corner watching you struggle with the doctors.
Soon the tubes are no longer preventing you from vocalizing your thoughts; you take advantage rather quickly. "Leave" is all you can say with your voice hoarse and devoid of any emotion. The only thing giving you away were the tears. "Y/n you need to hear me out…" you interrupt him. "I don't need to do anything… LEAVE." You grit out wincing in pain as the words leave your throat. Soon your vitals begin to increase at any alarming rate. Doctor's burst in again, ushering Tony out and sedating you. As soon as he walks out he is met by everyone's expectant gaze. "What happened?" Steve is the first one to speak up. "She found out… more like I told her right as she was waking up." Tony rubs his temples.
When you wake up someone is in the room you can tell. It's almost like you can feel them, without even opening your eyes you call out her name. "Nat?" You hear her walk towards you. You clear your throat. "He's- he's…" is all that comes out and she nods but doesn't say anything. That's when it all clicks. She wasn't looking at you… she was quiet, you only needed to look at her posture and you knew. You laugh. "You knew… didn't you?" Her eyes widened in surprise giving her away, except that it wasn't just her. "Oh… god you're all liars. You all played me. Im so stupid." Your laugh continues; it was cynical with tears rolling down your cheeks. "You're all hypocrites… You sit on your pedestal and preach trust and honesty…" You don't finish the sentiment. Sitting up and pulling at all the wires attached to your body. She reaches out for your hands but as soon as her hands land on your, you recoil at her touch. "Stay the hell away from me Natasha!"
You walk out the room leaving her behind using the wall to help you walk. You made it out to the waiting room and it just broke your heart even more. Their eyes on you, the pity radiating off them. Pietro can't even meet your gaze, much less Wanda. Steve took a cautious step forward, and when you didn’t step back he continued. As soon as he reached you he embraced you, everything came crashing down. The truth would have never hurt so much, and you still didn't know the whole story. You take this opportunity and ask Steve to take you to your room. He did as you asked the whole way there was silent until you made it to your room and he closed the door. “Y/n I’m so sorry…” you cut him off. “No you aren't.”  you mutter quietly. It takes him by surprise and you take advantage of it. “You need to find him… you need to leave before you don't have the chance to anymore.” He can help but ask why. “Why are you helping me?” You turn to him, your eyes filled with unspoken words. “Because I care for all of you too much to stand by and watch you destroy each other. Leave now!” 
“I need to take Wanda and Pietro.” He states and you nod. “I’ll send Clint for them later.” You can't help but to turn in awe of his statement. “Steve you can’t… you can't do that to his family.” You see the guilt in his eyes. “Tony has the government on his side.” Is all he says before he turns and walks toward the door. “Take care Y/n''. Before you know it you’re alone again with nothing, but your thoughts. Soon enough Vision comes phasing through a wall. “I thought you and Wanda talked about this.” You joke wiping your tears away. “Yes, well I thought you might appreciate the company.” He motions to your bed and you nod. He takes the liberty and sits down. “Y/n, I can't lie and tell you that I know what you feel. I comprehend many things, but emotions are the one thing I can't quite figure out.” He states matter of factly. “You played a crucial part in making me whatever it is I am, but what I'm meant to be is what you would say up in the air.” He mentions moving his hands.
“Vision you’re a highly intelligent being with access to all the knowledge you could ever need. I was a kid… a sick kid. His kid.” You state quietly. “I met my mom.” you speak up again. He looks at you trying to decipher what you meant. Your hands motion to your head. “Vision I think that I’m going crazy.” The words barely a whisper as they leave your mouth. “Y/n there are many things that we can't explain… You said this helped you in Vienna. Maybe it’s best not to question it now.” His eyes search for yours, and you nod. “We’ll be a pair of unexplainable beings.” you laugh lightly. Tony not so graciously bursts in as you're about to say something, Vision stands and nods at your direction, you let him go and Tony walks in. “I know that you're angry, and disappointed, and that you probably hate me… but I don't want you to hate me.” 
“Yes, well you should’ve thought about that before you casually forgot to mention that You were my father for half a year. And that's assuming you just found out Tony. When did you find out?” He’s quiet at your question, which in turn answers your question. “How long did you know… how long did they all know?” You look at him shift in his place trying to regain himself, so you let him. “Not long after Sokovia… And I-i had my suspicions before that actually.” He states standing straight and looking into your eyes for any sign of emotions. “The team didn't find out until you had your first episode.” You could tell that he didn't want you to hate them too… Little did he know that that wasn't an option because you cared for them too much. “Is Maya Hansen my mother?” You ask taking him by surprise. “I-I um yeah she was your mother.” He says scratching at the back of his neck. 
“Right, well I’ll be staying here for the time being. If that's okay with you of course.” Staying gave him hope and you knew that. Now you were lying to him using it as a weakness, all to help Steve. “Yeah, Of Course I can set you up with a more permanent living situation.” He says the excitement dripping in every word. You can only nod. “Hey.” You say as he’s about to walk out. He turns to face you. “She’s okay… and she doesn't hate you.” At first he didn't understand what you meant until he remembered what you said after your first episode. Right as he was about to say something you cut him off. “And for that matter… I don't hate you either.” You state quietly. “I’m hurt… I just need a little time.” He nods the light back in his eyes. “Can you tell the twins that I want to talk to them?” He nods and finally walks out of the room. 
Although your words were true you couldn't help but feel guilty. Lying was something that you were not fond of, but neither Steve nor him will take a step back and think about what's best. If someone didn't step in they would kill each other… and whoever it is that comes out on top will never be the same. You couldn't let that happen so if that meant tearing them apart before they got the chance to kill themselves it’s a sacrifice you were willing to make. Then you heard a faint knock on your door and you knew who it was. “Come in it’s open” You say loud enough for them to hear. They walk in and they are a mess just spewing out words out of their mouths… and Pietro seems to be speed apologizing and you can't help but laugh. “We’re not talking about that right now you two… so you can stop doing that.” You say flatly looking at Pietro whose words were now actually comprehensible. “I’m assuming that neither of you have changed your minds on the accords?” You ask, raising your brows. Pietro nods in agreement, but Wanda's silence and lack of reaction are somehow louder.
“Wanda you want to share with the group?” You say confused giving Pietro a look and he just shrugs. “Wanda, you know that we cant sign those papers right.” Pietro asks. She shakes her head . “I’ve hurt people Pietro, maybe this is for the best.” You scoff. “Everyone in this compound has hurt people… Including me.” You turn to Pietro. “She has day two tops before Steve comes for you.” You say emphasizing the ‘you’ at the end. “I just don't want you to feel like you don't have an option, but Wanda you have no Idea what you're signing up for if you sign the accords” She nods. “That's what I wanted to tell you.” You nod and Pietro gives you a small smile. “Why are you doing this Y/n going against your father.” Hearing her say that sparks something within you guilt, anger, sadness. “Because neither of them are going to win, they are too blind to see that we’ve already lost what we value most... Each other.” Both twins are surprised by your honesty. “I’m just trying to preserve what's left.” She nods. “You signed the accords.” She mentions sadly. You nod, taking her hand in yours. “I don't have superhuman abilities, that can be used for bad.” Now you take Pietro's hand as well. “I will do my best to keep you safe. Tony might be my father, but he’s wrong. Take care of each other.”
“This sounds an awful lot like a goodbye.” Pietro quips sadly, you nod. “That's because it might be for a while. We have to keep this charade going till Clint comes for you both. Vision won't let you go without a fight.” You say. “To our luck we have something on your side.” You say smiling pointing at your chest. “I’m going to miss you both.” You smile and pull them both into a hug. They walk out. It's not long after that you hear steps outside your door but they never come in. So you sleep it off. Days passed and you haven't heard from Steve and you were starting to worry. 
Then you walk into a busy bustling conference center Tony looks stressed. He looks up at you and he seems to take a breath. “Y/n are you okay?” He asks worriedly. “Some pain here and there, but I don't think it’s anything serious.” You state. “Where are you going and would you mind if I came?” You asked, he sets his phone down and gives you a look. “You um… You would like to come with me?” You take a seat next to him. “They captured Barnes and Rogers… along with his ragtag friend Wilson. We’re going to Berlin. Pack a bag we leave in 30.” You nod. “Where's Pepper I haven't seen her around?” He nods. “Well, um we’re taking a break. I told her I would walk away from all of this, but I can’t. This is me, not to say it's her fault it’s not.” You nod and give his hand an assuring squeeze. “She loves you, just let her know you love her too.” You say as you walk away.
The flight to Germany was rough… not only were you still tired from the surgery, but it was tense. Natasha and Tony were walking on eggshells around each other. And it seems that she is keeping her distance from you. You try to relax and sleep a little but much like your flight to New York nightmares plagued your subconscious. When you wake up you don't miss the looks that Tony and Natasha give each other. Then you remembered your mothers words, you closed your eyes again and tried to relax completely just when you were about to give up and you heard her voice. “This is where you use the gift that I gave you a while ago, look for the perfect opportunity.” Then it happens again  "Zhelanie, rzhavyy, Semndtsat', Rassvet, Pech', Devgat', Dobro Serdechny, Vozvrashcheniye na rodinu, Odin', Gruzovoy Vagon." Those words. Followed by “Now is the time.” When you wake up Tony is now sitting next to you holding your hand. He goes to apologize, but you stop him and thank him, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. 
After the plane landing Tony explains that he wants to talk to Steve alone you agree and take a step back. You follow Natasha to an empty surveillance room. “I want to apologize for the way I reacted when I found out.” You say when you sit down. “It was not fair for me to take out all of my anger on you.” You continue and you can tell that you fazed her, she was expecting the worst case scenario with you. So it’s not an understatement when she says that she was speechless. “I understand if you don't want to forgive me, or If you need time…” This is the part you weren't expecting. She lunges towards you and kisses you, her lips on yours and you freeze at the feeling. She pulls away hastily turning her back on you. You don't hesitate this time you pull on her arm back to where she was standing... and kiss her back this time your lips moving in perfect synchrony. It would be an understatement if you said that the kiss was quite literally magical. 
“I’ve been waiting a long time to do that.” You confess your forehead resting on hers. "And why didn't you?" She asks teasingly. "Well I was kind of waiting for that second date. I kinda have a rule." You say chuckling. In this moment you couldn't have been more happy. And there it is again that voice. "Natasha, Something is very wrong." Quite literally mirroring the incident in Vienna. When suddenly sirens are going off all around you. Your eyes meet Natasha's gaze… afraid of her reaction. "You have to tell me how you do that." She quipped making you laugh. Then you see The world renowned Winter Soldier in attack mode. Nat leaves you in the room going to fight the assassin that is endangering your lives. Almost as if it were instinct you hack into the intercom system and repeat the words that were seared into your memories. "Zhelanie, rzhavyy, Semndtsat', Rassvet, Pech', Devgat', Dobro Serdechny, Vozvrashcheniye na rodinu, Odin', Gruzovoy Vagon." You don't even have time to understand how it came out in perfect tongue. "Soldati."
 You watch him loosen his hold on Natasha. The breath you've been holding is finally being let out. You see him mouth the phrase. "Ya gotov otvechat" Suddenly Steve and Sam are there and then the rest is a blur. You feel your eyes roll back and the muffled sounds of steps running frantically. When you wake up her eyes greet you, she was worried you could tell. Your eyes wonder her figure, and then her neck. The marks of his hands taking their toll on her. “Are you okay? What happened back there” She asks. “Sorry…” All you can mumble out your eyes pinned on the marks on her neck. She seemed to notice. She took your face in her hands forcing your eyes to meet hers. “It’s okay I’m okay” Is all she needs to say and you nod, leaning forward, and placing a chaste kiss on her cheek. “I should’ve done something sooner.” Finally taking a look around you don't quite realize where you are. Nat seems to notice. “We’re at the compound… My room.” She mentions shyly. “How long have I been out?” She sighs. “A while, a couple of hours.”  You nod apprehensively. “What happened after I blacked out?” You ask trying to remember what occurred in those hours.   
“Well after your little speech on the intercom… he shut down. Whispered something along the line of ‘Ready to Comply’ then Steve and Sam took him from there.” You nod in relief visibly relaxing. Nat gives you a look. “I know what you’re thinking and it's not like that.” You state standing up. “My head tells me things… my mom tells me things. And I know that sounds fucking cynical but I'm telling you its true.” Nat tenses again her rigid exterior on again. “You said that last time.” She states bluntly. You nod slightly hurt at the fact that she doesn’t believe you. “Last I recall it also saved you last time.” She sighs but ultimately nods. “What side are you on? Because I’m having trouble believing that you are on my side.” She asks cautiously “That's because I didn't take a side Natasha, you knew how I felt about the accords from the beginning.” She’s quiet and you continue. “I’m trying to keep everyone from drowning” you take a deep breath. “I’m a pacifist Nat, and I don't want to fight with you… or anyone for that matter.”
 She nods “Y/n, I have to go, can I trust you to make sure nothing goes wrong here.” You smirk at that. “D’you want me to lie to you?” You can see the amused look in her eyes. “No, we wouldn't want that now would we?” You shake your head in denial. “Well, in that case…” She cuts you off with another kiss. “We’re okay… regardless of what happens outside of that door. We can come back to each other right?” The last part was more a silent plea… to which you happily gave in. “I’ll be waiting for you.” She smiles genuinely and it’s truly a sight to behold, you feel  honored to be the reason that she's smiling. “I’ll see you later then.” She states as she walks out of the room and you nod. As Steve had mentioned Clint showed up later that night. You didn’t have much to do with that by the time you’d made it down stairs. They were long gone. You could almost say the same for Vision, there was something about him now. “Are you okay?” Is the first thing that comes out your mouth. “Do you have reasons to suggest otherwise?” You shake your head. “I take it they left.”
 When you finally left the compound… It felt great. Stepping away for just a minute was just what you needed. Unfortunately for you It wasn't long till you were dragged back in. It couldn’t have been three hours by when there was a knock at your door. The person standing on the other side did surprise you however. Pepper, it was her but something was different… She seemed sad. “Pepper, It’s nice to see you, what do you need?” You say while opening your door and moving to let her pass. “You need to help them…” It's all she says and you understand. “I’m trying Pepper, but they are too stubborn for their own good.” She nods. “How is he?” You take a deep breath. “He’s going stir crazy, but he's otherwise fine.” You state. “He does miss you.” She shifts her gaze, not completely comfortable. “He’s going to need you… I’ve had to do things that will hurt him. It’s going to hurt more when he finds out his daughter was working against him.” Now this made her look back at you, concern in her eyes. “He-he told you?” You nod and squeeze her hand. “I know where they are at...” It’s all that Pepper blurts out.  
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jetaime-jespere · 3 years
Text
Right Where You Left Me Part 2
“I wonder what two people do in a hotel room when no one is watching.”
Rated M for smut/darker themes
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April | Fourteen Months Ago
“We’re looking for two men, both about forty years old,” Aaron says calmly, surveying the small crowd of detectives that have gathered around them in the cramped Newark Police Station. They’re listening intently; two more bodies were found early that morning and the clock is now ticking faster. “They’re most likely friends. They’ve known each other for years, it’s likely they’ve been at this a long time in one way or another.”
Beside him, Emily nods assuredly as she rests her hands on her hips. Ever since he discreetly passed the coffee to her in the hotel lobby, she’d been the picture of focus, any of the doubt he’d seen the night before gone from her face. He knows her well enough to know it’s probably just an act - the art of compartmentalization at work - but it’s good enough for right now. It has to be. “Keep in mind both are alpha males, dominant personalities. This is rare in duos like this, but it makes them all the more dangerous.”
“They know the area well,” Dave adds. “Which suggests they’re local. Been around awhile. Probably born in Jersey. They probably fit right in. You wouldn’t give them a passing thought.”
“What we do know is they have no intention of stopping.” Morgan rounds out the rest of the profile. Behind him is an evidence board full of photos and hastily scribbled notes and diagrams. It’s only 10 AM yet it feels like much later. They’ve been at this for several hours already with no end in sight, the sure sign of another draining day. “Which is why we need to catch them at their own game.”
“What do you have in mind?” The weary, yet brusque Newark detective asks, his slight New York accent heavy.
“They operate at night and essentially go dark during the day. We have to get creative with this one,” Morgan reasons. “If not, we’re never going to find them.”
“I hope you’ve got something in mind.”
June | Present Day
“Maybe I’ll have that drink now.” Emily frees her arm from under his grasp with a well-timed jerk,  reaching for the untouched wine glass on the table. It shakes in her hand as she takes a long sip, and Aaron prepares for it to slide from her fingers and shatter all over the table. It doesn’t, and he breathes a sigh of relief. The less attention they bring to themselves, the better. He doesn’t dare turn around to see if the others are watching. By now, they’re probably more than aware of his vacant seat at the table, sensing his absence around the dance floor.
From her place beside him, Emily pushes the glass between her hands, stares at the floral centerpiece. She’s nervous, he assesses. But then again, so is he. Aaron has thought of this moment often, what it would be like to see her again. What he (she) would say, how she (he) would react. But then, it was nothing more than a wishful fantasy. Now it’s real; he has one chance he can’t screw up. “Are you lonely there? All by yourself?” It’s one of the many thoughts that’s plagued him in the long nights he’s lain awake, staring at the ceiling for hours at a time. The thought of her alone, some four thousand miles across the Atlantic Ocean, is never far from his mind. He’s known her long enough to know she appreciates some level of anonymity, that she’s always been fiercely independent. Yet it doesn’t change the fact that she’s bearing the burden alone, something that seems cruelly unfair.
“Lonely isn’t the word I’d use.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Let me ask you, Aaron. Are you lonely? Have you moved on?”
“Moved on?” He stares at her in disbelief. “What do you think, Emily? You up and left days after we buried him. Things aren’t … things aren’t the same now. None of us have just moved on, you know. We didn’t just lose him. We lost you too.”
She regards him for a moment, as if she’s never considered the question before, and not exactly sure how to answer it. “London is where I belong now,” Emily says coolly, swirling the wine around in the glass. The dark red liquid clings to the side; remnants of her lipstick stain the outer rim. “It’s for the better, anyway. For all of us.”
“If it’s where you belong, if that’s what you think, then what’s your third reason? You only gave me two.”
Her arms fold over her chest in defense. The wine does little to settle the incessant, taunting voice she’s heard in her head since she stepped into Heathrow airport some twenty-four hours ago. Emily prepared herself on the plane for this; she knew exactly what coming here would entail, every past memory and nightmare it would conjure, from the moment she hung up the phone after hearing Dave’s happy news. But there was no convincing her otherwise and she’d filled out the RSVP card in her telltale slanted handwriting, putting it in the mail without hesitation. A smile had crossed her face when she imagined what Dave’s reaction might be when he opened the small envelope. On the passable days (there really aren’t good days anymore), she can picture them together, some semblance of peace settled between them. They have one another, one of the only things that gives her any comfort these days.
Emily hears Clyde’s words in her mind over again, louder and louder. “I don’t think this is a good idea,” he’d said gently, on more than one occasion, most recently a few nights ago. She’d called him in the early hours of the morning, yanked from the clutches of another nightmare. Of course he’d answered on the first ring, already reaching for his jacket and scarf, and a short time later, Emily heard the twist of a key in her apartment door. She took a few deep breaths when she heard him shut and bolt it behind him, temporarily soothed by the sound of water filling a glass and shoes scratching against the floor. When he pushed the door to her bedroom open, few words were said between them. She’s stopped apologizing for calling; he’s stopped asking if she’s okay. It’s a ritual they have, albeit an unspoken one - she calls, he comes, and they spend a few hours piecing back together what will only fall apart again within a matter of time.
“You really think going back is a good idea?” Clyde flipped through the television channels once she calmed down, changed, and the sweaty sheets were replaced with fresh ones. He had the remote in one hand and a glass of scotch in the other, his feet propped up on the foot of her bed. He settled on a rerun of a sitcom, checked his watch, and rubbed his hand across his face.
“I have to,” Emily said simply, tearing at the ragged skin around her fingernails.
“Why?” He began, yet he’d made the face that told her exactly how he felt about the whole situation.
“I promised Dave years ago I would.” It’s not nearly as convincing as she wanted, but not a complete lie. Unfortunately, Clyde saw right through her reticence.
“That’s not the only reason.”
“What do you want me to say?”
“That you miss him might be a good start.” Clyde’s casual, unflinching honesty was always one of her favorite things about him. The ability to be rational and objective in his assessment of her time and time again, yet cautious in his approach. It’s a balance that has been learned over the years, mastered in the last few months. “That maybe you made a mistake and you’re too afraid to admit it.”
“I didn’t make a mistake. But of course I miss him, Clyde. I loved him.”
He’d spun the glass in his hands and laughed for the first time since finding her in bed a screaming mess. “I believe you have your tenses incorrect, darling. Aren’t you a linguist?” His knack for picking up on the most subtle things never ceased to amaze her.
“There are some things,” she began slowly, counting her breaths like her therapist had taught her months ago. “That I never got a chance to say. That I couldn’t say once everything … you know.”
“And you’re willing to put yourself through hell again, for the off chance you work up the courage to say the things you never got to?”
“Yes.”
Clyde nodded with a deep sigh, accepting defeat.  It’s nothing he hasn’t heard before in the last year. They’ve done this before; they will again soon. “Why don’t you try and get some rest? We have to be up in -” he checked his watch again. “Four hours.”
Emily groaned; she’s no stranger to the long days that often follow nights like this. She’d long stopped fighting Clyde on his demand that she attempt to rest. Eventually she’d succumb to the exhaustion that blanketed her mind, but only after she relived it all, just one more time.
...
Emily has a therapist in London - an older woman who oddly enough resembles her mother in looks and mannerisms. But she’s nothing like her, and for reasons she can’t explain, Emily felt an appreciation for her instantly. She doesn’t try to make her forget - she’ll never forget. But what she does is try to help her forgive, mostly herself. She’ll never do that, either. How could she, after it all went wrong? The other part of the process, as she’s learned through many agonizing sessions of recounting it all - the events of that day, the ones leading up to it - was everything that wasn’t said, and the price she paid.
Seeing them (him) hurts as much as the thought it would. Of course, their last conversation before it all fell apart had been an argument, one that will haunt her for the rest of her days. She’ll never be able to take it back; the damage has already been done. |
“Tell me,” he says calmly, as the music around them ceases. “Tell me why you’re here.”
“Unfinished business,” Emily tells him. “There are things I never -”
She’s interrupted by the band starting up yet again, along with the invitation for couples to join Dave and Krystall on the floor as the first dance comes to an end. Emily pointedly looks away, completely perturbed by the idea of it, yet it gives him an idea. He can’t let her slip away again. Not yet. “Do you dance?” Aaron asks, with a boyish grin that elicits the slightest knowing smile from her. She remembers.
“Not much, these days. There isn’t much of an occasion now, you know.”
“But you did,” Aaron forces a smile that hurts a little more than it should. “At least you would dance with me.”
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moonflowerlesbians · 4 years
Text
I wrote the 10 year anniversary fic
She's short but she’s sweet. Please enjoy.
to be loved a whole life long
Rated T, ~2.6k.
~~~
What is an anniversary, really, if not merely a ploy to indulge in all of the little pleasures one denies on any other day? Saying, “oh, well, we ought to save it for a special occasion.”
And, what, Jamie thinks, is an occasion more special than the day marking the tenth year since she began this beautiful, insane journey with the love of her life. A woman so remarkable that Jamie almost can’t believe she’s real. Almost can’t believe that she can wake up beside the same person every morning, smelling the same fruity shampoo, spend the day working side by side, and still, every night, fall into bed, eager to pull Dani close. Then wake up the following day and do it all again.
It’s a stability Jamie never thought she would have. After years of bouncing from foster family to foster family, Bly was the closest thing to home she’d ever had. Until, that is, these ten, wonderful years with Dani in the flat they share above the little shop that they built from the ground up.
She thinks as much as beams of cozy sunlight filter through the gossamer curtains Dani picked out for their bedroom. She has an arm draped over Dani’s middle, her front to Dani’s back, her hand tracing idle circles on the plane of Dani’s stomach beneath her sleep shirt. Jamie can hear the quiet exhalations puffing against Dani’s wrist, which she’s managed to trap against her cheek. Jamie is certain she’ll be graced with complaints of pins and needles when Dani wakes. Jamie will laugh and offer to massage the numbness away, and Dani will roll her eyes but allow her limb to flop inelegantly into Jamie’s lap.
Jamie props herself up on one elbow, her fingers trailing a path from Dani’s midriff, up her arm, to brush a wayward strand of blonde hair behind her ear. Dani begins to stir as Jamie presses slow lips to the junction of her neck and shoulder, moves to the shell of her ear, her temple, the slender curve of her jaw.
Dani makes a noise low in her throat.
“Ah, there she is,” Jamie hums, her voice, though quiet, still too loud in the morning stillness.
“Thought we w’re gonna sleep in t’day,” Dani sighs, already preparing to nestle deeper into the blankets.
Jamie runs a playful finger down the bridge of Dani’s nose. “Already did that, love. ‘S nearly half nine.”
“F’rgot you get up ‘fore the early birds,” Dani grumbles, “An’thing past six ‘s late for you.”
“The plants wait for no one.”
“They’re plants. ‘S not like they have anywhere to be.”
“You don’t know that. Could have important plant business to attend to.”
Dani, at last, rolls over incredulously. “Like what?”
“Dunno,” Jamie shrugs, “but you’re awake now.”
“You’re the worst, you know that?”
“Mhm,” Jamie chuckles, “happy anniversary, baby.” Their kiss is languid, sleep-heavy. When they break apart, their foreheads still touch.
“Happy anniversary,” Dani whispers, thumb absently caressing Jamie’s cheekbone. Her eyes glimmer with mischief when she meets Jamie’s gaze. “Wouldn’t be opposed to staying in bed all day, though...”
“Need food first.”
Dani huffs. “Fine.”
“Thought we might try the new cafe on the corner of Leeland and Huntley for brunch. Apparently, they’ve got terrific blueberry muffins.”
“And you know this how?”
“Kid and her mum came through the shop the other day. Wee gremlin wouldn’t put the damn thing down,” Jamie gripes. “Got crumbs all over my daffodils.”
“She sounds cute.” Dani sounds almost wistful.
“‘Course you’d think so. Once a teacher, always a teacher.” She waves dismissively. “Or something like that.” Jamie rubs her palms together. “Right, then, up and at ‘em. Those muffins won’t eat themselves.”
“Didn’t realize you were so excited by baked goods.”
“Not the baked goods I’m excited for. I seem to recall mentions of returning to bed after food.”
+++
They are dressed and out the door in record time.
+++
They’ve closed the shop for the day, allowing themselves a brief reprieve from the discord of the wedding season. Every other day, it seems, a new blushing bride parades through their doors, followed by a mother or mother-in-law with a thousand questions and a dozen requests per minute. Jamie enjoys the work, truly. Seeing the delighted relief wash over the room as the arrangement designs are finalized is immensely gratifying. Almost as gratifying as watching her flowers, her precious creations, adorn ballrooms and churches, surrounded by people celebrating life. The joy of being alive.
She feels it now, she thinks, the sheer euphoria of existing. Here, walking down the street, a take-away cup of tea in her hand, with Dani’s arm roped through hers.
They are living on borrowed time, she knows, stark reminders of blue and brown present in every reflection. Every so often, Jamie catches herself longing, pleading for more time. She should be grateful for what the universe has gifted her. But, on days like these, days where the air is right and the sun is warm on her skin, she finds herself wishing for a forever that she cannot have. A forever unpromised to a monster that lurks beneath the most beautiful smile in the world.
She pushes the thought aside. Tomorrow is never promised. All she has is today. And she’ll be damned before she lets it slip away.
+++
They feed the waterfowl in the park with muffin crumbs. There are ducklings this time of year, and Dani’s gleeful cooing, high-pitched and elated, travels across the pond. Dappled shadows drape across her shoulders. Tree branches sway in a gentle breeze, casting a spotted cloak across the scene. Jamie feels the tension drain from her neck.
They sit, side by side, on the swingset, watching the joggers run past, waving at their neighbors and their golden retriever, the couple whose engagement party The Leafling decorated last month. Dani exchanges pleasantries with them all. It’s the Midwesterner in her, she likes to say, amicability is in her blood. Jamie does not understand, but she does her best to nod less than awkwardly while her partner makes smalltalk.
They stop for ice cream on the way home. It is a special occasion, after all, and the balmy June weather provides the perfect excuse to indulge in seldom-savored decadence. One, Jamie decides, they should absolutely partake in more often, if the child-like giddiness Dani expresses over cake batter ice cream is any indication. The crows feet at the corners of her eyes crinkle as she grins, and Jamie thinks she has never looked more lovely.
+++
A trans-Atlantic call to Owen foils their initial plans of baking their own lasagna after Dani lets slip that they weren’t planning to boil the noodles before layering in the sauces.
“For the love of God, please order in. The both of you are im-pasta-ble. It’s like I’ve taught you nothing.”
“That pun was weak, even for you.”
“This is what you’ve reduced me to.”
So, they call in a delivery order to the Italian place down the road. Jamie chivalrously offers to pick it up, and Dani ushers her out of the flat with a vigor that has Jamie raising an eyebrow. But, she simply shrugs and slides into the drivers’ seat of their second-hand pickup. The familiar rumble of the engine is comforting, the crooning of some jazz singer on the radio soothing background noise. Crickets chirp in the early summer evening.
She swings through the grocer to pick up champagne on her way home and juggles the bottle and the takeaway bag of food as she fumbles her key into the lock. Dani opens the door just as she’s about to turn the knob, and Jamie falls forward, Dani catching her by the arm.
“You alright?” Dani asks, but there’s an amused lilt to her voice.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m good. If you could just take…” Jamie’s mouth goes dry. Her face is level with Dani’s hips, which she has come to realize are covered in a velvety fabric she does not recognize. Her eyes flick up, coming to rest on Dani’s collarbones, the exposed skin of her arms, the accentuated curve of her waist. “You… I… uh….”
“You could’ve knocked, you know. I would’ve let you in.”
“I… yeah, could’ve… knocked.” Jamie realizes she is frozen in the entryway, jaw on the floor, and, in all honesty, cannot bring herself to care. Not when Dani is standing in front of her, clad in a gorgeous purple dress Jamie’s never seen before, her bangs styled to frame her face, while the remainder of her hair is pulled back. Jamie clears her throat. “You, ah, you changed.”
“I did.”
“You, you look…” Jamie searches for the right word, but none seem to encapsulate the overwhelming rush of emotion she feels, looking at the love of her life in the dim light from the bulb in the hallway outside their flat, on the tenth anniversary of the start of life she never thought she would have.
Damn the limitations of this bloody language. She can say “I got absolutely goddamn shitfaced last night” in a hundred different ways, but there is no succinct way to phrase, “I love you so fucking much and you are the most incredible person in the world and I don’t know how I got lucky enough to know you and I could spend the rest of my life holding your hand.”
It seems, at least to Jamie, a grievous failure of linguistic evolution.
“Beautiful,” she settles on, at last. “You’re so beautiful.” It’s not enough. But it will suffice.
“Come on, loverboy,” Dani says, tapping the bottom of Jamie’s chin with a slender index finger before giving a tug on her sleeve. “Food’s getting cold.” She’s blushing, though, a faint tint coloring her chest as she takes one of the plastic bags from Jamie. Jamie, who merely stares at Dani’s retreating silhouette before remembering she’s supposed to follow. She shuts the front door behind her and stumbles into the kitchen, setting the bottle and second bag on the countertop next to the stove.
When she turns around, Dani is in the living room holding a match to two candles set on a ceramic dish on their kitchen island. She’s laid out their nice dinnerware, which, really, consists of the four gold-encircled plates and matching napkin rings they’d found at an antique store in Milwaukee, back when they had been exploring the country Dani called home. A vase of roses is positioned on the coffee table, and it’s evident that Dani arranged them herself, and oh, oh, how Jamie loves her for it.
“Surprise?” Dani says shyly.
Jamie blinks at her. It’s all she can do not to break down. Instead, she settles for taking two bold steps to Dani's side of the counter and kissing her senseless. Dani lets out a squeak of surprise, but quickly relaxes into Jamie’s touch. She’s biting her lip when they separate, Jamie’s twirling the fine hairs at the nape of her neck as she presses their foreheads together.
“Let me change, and we’ll eat, yeah?”
“Sounds good.” Dani’s breathing is an ounce heavier than normal.
Jamie winks slyly, wanders to their bedroom and opens the closet, pulling out the first acceptable outfit she sees. She doesn’t have to change, she knows. Dani could care less whether she’s wearing a three-piece suit or sweatpants. (Though she suspects the suit might have the edge.) She dons a white, three-quarter zip and black slacks, pausing briefly to add a pair of black leather suspenders she knows Dani likes. Something about being easy to grab and pull.
Dani is struggling to uncork the champagne when Jamie returns to the kitchen. Her tongue pokes adorably out of the corner of her mouth, and her soft grunts of frustration are surprisingly endearing.
“Hand it over. Come on, now. Before you put your eye out.”
“I can do it,” Dani protests. “Just. Need to tweak it. A little.”
Jamie takes the opportunity to press against Dani’s back, her arms wrapping around to cover Dani’s hands where they fiddle with the bottle. For a moment, Dani forgets to be cross and reclines her head, resting it on Jamie’s shoulder. She sighs, relinquishing control, and Jamie huffs out a quick laugh. She holds the champagne over the sink to catch the overflow when the bottle pops.
Dani mumbles something about “having loosened it,” which Jamie meets with resolute agreement and a, “‘course you did, baby.”
The lasagne, an Owen-approved non-abomination, has been plated, Dani having evidently done so while Jamie was shucking her dayclothes. She pours them each a healthy flute of champagne and seats herself beside Dani, raising her glass.
She hesitates.
“Wait,” Dani exclaims, hurrying to the hall closet. She rummages for a second, bringing back the Polaroid camera Jamie had given her their first Christmas together. She checks the film, appears satisfied, and balances the device on an upturned colander to set up her shot. She sets the timer and sidles under Jamie’s arm, picking up her champagne flute. “Smile!” Dani beams.
When the image prints, the picture reveals Dani, with the biggest grin Jamie swears she’s ever seen, and Jamie at her side, looking positively smitten. The flash has illuminated the silver streaks in her hair, the lines embedded in her skin. Time has been kind to her, she reminds herself, others are not so lucky. And, in any case, when she looks at this photograph, she will not be looking at herself.
Dani kisses her cheek and moves her keepsake to the coffee table for safety. Too many important documents ruined by spills for her to risk it. She props it gently against the roses. It’s perfect.
Again, Jamie raises her glass. She inspects the contents.
Again, she hesitates. Then, a toast:
“To another ten.”
Silence.
Dani stills, looks at her.
Jamie can see the beginning of an argument forming on the tip of Dani’s tongue, and Jamie holds her stare. It’s a challenge. A dare, even.
They do not often speak of the distant future. Only when it is absolutely necessary do they broach the sensitive topic.
A world-weary smile paints Dani’s lips. Her eyes are burdened, the vivacity present mere seconds ago seemingly having vanished. She is tired. It shows in the slump of her shoulders, the crease of her brow, the way the giddiness of earlier has slunk away, leaving Dani bare-boned and fatigued.
She lifts her glass.
She says nothing.
“I love you,” Jamie murmurs after the faint clink of glass on glass. “So much.”
“Always,” Dani finishes. And Jamie knows she means it.
+++
They embrace beneath the sheets that night, sweat cooling in the dry air. Jamie’s fingers are tangled in blonde waves highlighted with grey. Dani’s breathing has evened out, short puffs tickling Jamie’s sternum, as Jamie contemplates the window over her head.
She has found someone to love, and someone to love her in return. Someone who will stay, even on the bad days. Someone who expects nothing and deserves everything.
Dani is everything Jamie thought she never deserved. Dani is good. Dani is good and exquisite and utterly unbelievable and, god, how Jamie loves her.
She loves waking up beside her every morning, and she loves smelling the same fruity shampoo on the pillow. She loves spending the day working together on the business they built from the dirt up. She loves falling into bed every night and pulling Dani close. Every minute they have together is a gift that Jamie refuses to take for granted.
To another ten years, she thinks, and allows her eyes to close. Dani sighs against her.
58 notes · View notes
tintentrinkerin · 3 years
Text
nothing on my tongue but hallelujah...
Rating: Explicit
Pairing:
Jared Padalecki/Jensen Ackles, Jared/various, Jared/Alex Calvert
Warnings: 
Gangbang, Barebacking, Jealousy, Top Jared Padalecki, Bottom Jensen Ackles, Religious Cults, Power Dynamics
Summary: Jared's Cult, the "Church of Grace" is a peaceful and harmonic little community in the South. Then young Jensen appears and rocks the Cult leader's world - moreoever, it rattles Alex awake, who's been sure to be his leader's most loved member.
Written upon request
Word Count: 9.9k
Read below the cut or on AO3
Kudos are love <3
The Divine Five Pillars of “Church of Grace”
Obedience
Purity
Community
Free Love
Kindness
The “Creed”
I believe in God, the Father and the Almighty,
who created the world, the people, the seas, the animals and the trees.
I believe in God’s son, who is his true Vicar on Earth
For he brings joy, love, community, kindness and hope. 
I reject the Devil and his kin. I turn my whole existence to 
the true Vicar of the Holy Father. 
I hereby swear to follow the five divine rules of the Church
and give myself into the hands of God’s most graceful creation.
May He and God’s Angels lead me into Paradise.
Amen.
2 Corinthians 11:13-15 
For such men are false apostles, deceitful workmen, disguising themselves as apostles of Christ. And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. So it is no surprise if his servants, also, disguise themselves as servants of righteousness. Their end will correspond to their deeds.
Siddharta Gautama
Through true honesty deeply believe that all sentient-beings are one.That all beings have the same true nature, wisdom, virtue.
If people knew how much effort it took to get an orgy going, they probably wouldn’t even bother and settle for porn instead. 
Jared and Alex had to plan every monthly “gathering” very thoroughly, especially, when new recruits and adepts arrived. The new boys and girls would maybe chicken out at first, but that wouldn’t be punished. Later, yes. At their first time? No. Jared was very kind to those he found. In other communities they’d be punished right on spot. But Jared, no no, he wasn’t that barbaric. He wanted everyone to feel happy and included. Everyone had to use the headquarter’s communal showers or baths after they had an extensive cleansing plan, to purify their body and also a very intense work out session. All for purity’s sake. Jared loves purity. 
The garden behind the Church of Grace’s headquarters was around 400 acres, enough space to celebrate free love, the holy spirit within all of us, and most importantly, worship the true Vicar of God on Earth. Forget Jesus. 
Jared was pleased when he saw his usual very busy adepts who were about to be initiated in the second step of Priesthood. They were so eager and they had a fantastic taste in decorating. There will be a bonfire, it’s May 1st after all, one of Jared’s favorite dates for a gathering. Pagans used to celebrate Beltane, well, they still do. In tiny groups, the Wiccans and the Druids. He has no affiliations with them, but as a shepherd of his sheep he needs to be informed. Wise. He wants to be the one who can answer all their questions, give interpretations. His interpretations. His view of the world. And in his world, only his Church will bring them peace and harmony and closer to God’s grace and mercy. 
The bonfire wood is piled right in the center of the garden, the part of the garden that members are allowed to see and walk on. Around the bonfire a lot of big wooden logs are placed for the followers of Jared to sit on. As soon as the fire burnt down a little bit and some chalices of holy wine were emptied and some delicious weed was consumed, the orgy might start. Jared will let the believers start first. There’s always a couple or a single horny person that will start wooing a person of their interest. Jared will join later, when the ecstasy is palpable and the adepts play the drums, letting the mass of naked bodies find their rhythm. Behind the huge pile for the bonfire, there’s Jared’s seat. A massive chair made of dark wood, polished, carvings all over. Still a thing someone could find a little too pagan, but Jared doesn’t care. The truth is what he speaks, not the others. And the truth is, that people still are just the same as in the early Middle Ages. The same things struck them with awe, and it’s not churches in white marble and Jesus hanging from crosses. Nature and it’s forces, the hidden desires. Intimate, primal and authentic. That’s his motto. No nude angel chiseled out of porcelain will make people feel this kind of raw euphoria and devotion as a bonfire and some drums do. Let the drums shake their cores and make their blood rage. This is how you make people feel their primal truth, and then, they’ll realize why doing this once a month is so freeing. They will get back to work, back to Jared’s mass, satisfied and their needs soothed. Then they will happily obey, stay pure, pray and make the community itself a functional unit of people with the same values.
And their money. It’s always gonna end up in such a community running itself, on donations, the members’ money and other things. 
When the sun sets, the members of the community sit down on the wooden banks or logs, or they bring a white towel to sit on. Jared counts the members and everyone is there. Alex sits beside Jared’s chair, obeissant. 
The white flowy cult dresses start billowing in the wind. Jared sits down on his chair, with a graceful flowing movement. He’s dressed in white too, linen, see through even when dry. When he sits all the heads turn to him. In the twilight of the remaining sunbeam, you could think, Jared just descended from heaven. He likes that idea. He raises his arms and in his strong, rough voice he proclaims “Brothers, sisters, it’s time for our monthly celebration. You cleansed your bodies, you prayed and did good service to the community. Now is the time to reward you, my brothers and sisters. Let’s have the holy communion, break bread and offer it to your neighbours, offer wine to your friends. Connect.” There’s faint applause and Jared puts his hand down. “No need to applaud, my dear sister, tonight, we celebrate you and your devotion and purity!”
He turns to Alex, dressed in white linen trousers. “Brother Alex will light  the fire and then, brothers and sisters, enjoy the bread and wine, let your spirits flow and find your matches for tonight!”
The crowd cheers and they end the chorus with a loud and enthusiastic “Amen!”
“Amen!”Jared echoes and his voice layers upon everything else.
When he sits down and Alex lights up the fire he watches all these people, the four new recruits. A young cute redhead girl, she looks like condensed sunshine - a young boy, looks like he’s here because the redhead is here (he’d be weeded out tonight) - another redhead, looking fierce. A snake. He might take a closer look at her - and then, there is Green Eyes. The boy that Jared picked himself. Usually one of his lower assistants would pick them but this time, Jared had to intervene. He needed these assistants to weed out the no go’s just before Jared could even see them. He couldn’t check on every person willing to join, they needed to make a first sighting and then the few ones who might be of Jared’s interest, would be invited to meet the True Vicar himself. Usually, that was 10 out of 200 or even less. And Jared was just as rigorous with ditching the foul seeds. But Green Eyes was his favorite all along. Those eyes… 
Alex breaks the loaf of bread and offers it to Jared. Of course, he’s on his knees and only looks up when Jared takes the half of the loaf and gives him his blessing.
“May you be blessed by our Lord and his Angels,” Jared says very formally. Alex looks up, his face has tiny sprinkles of ash on them already and his robe turned transparent from the sweat. He’s decent. Will he try as the first one today? Like always? 
“May you be blessed by your Father, Our Lord and his Angels,” Alex replies until Jared gestures to him to stay up. 
“Amen.” 
“Amen.”
Jared eats and then receives the wine from Alex too. That’s a golden rule. As his personal assistant, Alex receives the blessings from Jared. Just after him, anyone is able to be blessed by their Master. They share half of the bread, they will need the rest later. In this community it is not necessary to receive Jared’s blessing to consume the holy communion as his liberal practice says that any true believer in their community, on one of the 12 holy days of their community “gathering”, can offer and receive blessings from a brother or a sister. Jared’s happy about that, because blessing 120 people would make him pass out drunk and he can’t have that. He is in control. And he needs to stay in control, too. 
Around him, the wine, the food are eaten and some herbal cigarettes are lit, the thick smell of weed is everywhere. Four cult members responsible for music start playing the drums and flutes now. Quietly still, just a hint that soon, the gathering will start with their original purpose. The physical and mental connection of the members with each other. Jared can already see people who are done eating, wine tipsy and a little herbally relaxed. Hands wander under togas and robes, simple shirts and wide hippie trousers. Alex stays with Jared, looking down on the obedient sheep doing what they’re supposed to do. The fabric in his crotch is tenting. One look in Alex’ face tells Jared everything.
“You won’t give up, huh?”
Alex shakes his head. “No. I will never give up.”
Jared now stands up and stretches like a cat that has just awoken and now is on their way to do some mischief. “Boy, all of you try so hard, but none of you can take it.”
“It’s about receiving your mercy,” Alex says, now sounding a little sulky. 
Jared heads towards the bonfire where some couples (or more) are intertwined with each other, laying on the bare grass, sitting on logs or they found a nice spot on the white towels everyone brought. Right in the center, around the fireplace, it is too hot to sit there. Jared makes his rounds, ruffles some hair here, kisses a girl there, even helps a young girl settle on her lover’s cock.
“There you go, sweetheart,” he coos, “that’s how you show your love and devotion.”
She would be too tight and small for him though. All the women here would surely love to try again and again, but none of them would be prepared for his cock. 
When he is done doing rounds around the bonfire he sits down on an empty white blanket and just like it’s natural, the free members gather around him. The drums start playing a hard and catchy rhythm. 
The psychology behind music and rhythm. His members really know how to play a mass of people and put their bodies in the right directions. Alex joins and everyone respects Jared’s assistant too much to try and get Jared before him. In absolute devotion, Alex pulls Jared’s white linen pants down to his naked ankles, then off his naked feet. The participants murmur and gasp, such a delight every time. Jared didn’t wear boxer briefs or anything else underneath and so, everyone can admire his massive cock. It’s big, the erection growing strong and hard and the tip bounces against Jared’s toned six pack, above his belly button. Even Alex with his long filigrane and very skilled fingers can’t wrap around the shaft fully. 
They all watch, not even Alex dares to touch him yet. 
“You. Alex. Claire. You were such a good team last time. Would you show me how perfectly you harmonize?”
The blonde girl blushes deep red and Alex first raises an eyebrow. It’s clear who he wants, but he would never deny one of Jared’s commands. And that’s what it is. A command. 
Alex pushes Claire on all fours, one strong hand in her hair and presses her down while he sucks on two of his fingers and then penetrates her with them. She squeals and giggles, but before Alex fucks her he knows he has to give his true interest a show, and he will. While fingering her he presses his face between her buttcheeks and starts sucking. The scene gets very loud with pleasure noises very soon and another guy asks to accompany them. 
Jared supports himself with one arm and the other he uses to stroke his cock, throbbing and hot, he loves it when his followers put on such a show. He’s leaking some precum already and a boy next to him looks at it. Greedy and inexperienced. Jared doesn’t let him taste yet, and instead the nameless boy bends down to kiss Jared’s very muscular thighs. Another follower starts doing the same on the other side, everything with Jared stroking himself slowly. He wants to enjoy every minute of it. His toes are sucked on, submissive followers suck them like it’s his massive member. The first brave adepts gather around them too and Jared can’t help but smile. People stroke his hair, kiss his neck and leave their marks, but what Jared really needs is someone taking his cock like a champion. He knows he’s intimidating. Thick and lock, and even grows bigger when hard. The first adept who is bold enough to come forward is very much welcome. He has himself oiled pretty well, he smells flowery and when he sinks on Jared’s cock (just the tip!), he freezes. 
“Oh… God”, he hisses, “oh my f… so big…” Jared smirks, his hands on the twink boys hips. Such a beautiful boy, Jared would love to fuck him and fill him up, but it looks like he is already failing at the tip. 
“Go slow, my dear,” Jared says nonetheless. A guru can hope. 
Two hands on his shoulders push the boy farther down and he cries out, half in pleasure, but also in pain. The hands disappear and the young man on Jared’s cock looks like he’s about to cry. 
“It’s too much for you, hm?”
The boy nods and gets up, legs shaking. You can tell he never had a guy fuck his ass before, bonus points for using oil as lube. He might try again after he gets used to it with another cult member. He stammers an apology. Jared pulls him down for a second and presses his thumb on the boy’s forehead. 
“I bless you, brother.”
It’s a ritual, it’s a necessity, or the boy will maybe consider leaving. But most of the boys, like Alex, stay close to Jared and try it again and again and again. Some people are overachievers, maybe one day it will be successful. 
The boy mumbles an Amen and then strolls away, looking for another group he can find a place in. Jared still feels the tight ass of this boy and, damn, how much he loves it when they’re tight, maybe an anal virgin even, and he’s the first to fuck them. Another brother sucks him off, but  he also has trouble swallowing more of Jared’s wand than just the tip. His sucking is superb, ambitious even. Drool runs down his throbbing cock, damn, he even makes delicious sounds! Jared’s head falls back and he wishes he could blow his first load, but all these attempts of his followers just leave him just ‘almost coming. The man takes him deeper now but is interrupted by heavy gagging and he has to give up. Now it’s Alex who claims to be next. Alex is the kind of guy who acts like a passionate lover with anyone, even though he only craves  Jared’s attention. He’s open and gaping already, must've gotten into a very nice threeway with Kathryn and the other member. Alex sinks on Jared’s cock, his back pressed against Jared’s sweaty chest. Alex is able to take more than just Jared’s tip after extensive dilating practice or when he’s been fucked already by two or more of his brothers of the Church, but that leaves Jared only semi turned on, too. He feels loose, not as tight as when he tried it the first time and cried for several minutes because Jared’s dick almost tore him apart. It’s enough to make Jared cum and bless Alex with an intense prostate orgasm, but still Jared is not satisfied. When Alex leaves and some others follow him to the pool, he sits down again, crotch still throbbing, his need still not satisfied. Around him the orgy is at its peak, no one is alone by now, everyone is sharing their love and energies. Jared is gifted, his cock is ready again five minutes later and he mounts that ginger woman, the adept. But she winces when he’s halfway in and Jared has to pull out. She’s biter and a scratcher, her thick accent is sexy and he makes her cum multiple times with his tongue and fingers, but he holds back now, he waits for the perfect one. Someone to form a union with. A tight one, but skilled and resilient. A man that can take his cock and even if it hurts a little, push through. 
Jared sinks down on one of the blankets, lies down and stares in the clear starry night, a follower brings him a pillow and others massage his thighs and arms, his feet. God, yes, his feet are so sensitive. Another guy shyly asks if he may be of service and when Jared opens his eyes and looks up it’s Green Eyes. He hasn’t seen the boy since the beginning of the orgy. Jared immediately hikes up and shoos his other followers away. 
“Sure, sit with me.”
The boy with the forbidden pretty pouty lips, the rough voice and piercing green eyes sits down, facing the self proclaimed Vicar of God.
“You want to be of service, what was your name again? I’m sorry that I have to ask, I am terrible with names – most people change theirs after initiation anyway and that’s what stays in my memory.”
Green Eyes looks at him. “I’m Jensen.”
“Hello Jensen. I’m glad you came to our monthly free love gathering. Is that the kind of religious practice you seek?” 
A girl offers them some bread and a chalice of wine, plus some mushrooms on the side.
“It would be an honor, Jensen, to break the bread and drink the wine with you. Mushrooms are not mandatory if you’re allergic to that kind.”
Jensen grins and echoes the girl’s “amen” and gives her a smile. It’s gotten a bit quiet around them, some followers watch Jared and his new recruit very, very closely. 
“I don’t want to break the protocol, who is supposed to break the bread and offer it?” Jensen asks with a shy grin. Jared chuckles.
“We do not have a strict protocol, not on these special nights when we celebrate freedom and harmony. And free love. When we surrender to our primal instinct, you understand?”
Jensen nods seriously. “Yes, I get that.”
He rips off a piece of loaf then a second and offers one to Jared without the ceremonial motto. Jared ignores that (at least today) and receives the bread. “May you be blessed by our Lord and his Angels,” he says, presses his thumb on Jensen’s forehead and mumbles an “Amen”. Jensen echoes again, then takes a bite. When he’s done Jared offers him the wine with the same motto, and this time Jensen copies it, even though the Vicar is addressed during that sentence with “May you be blessed by your Father, our Lord and his Angels”. He will learn that, Jared will make sure of it. 
No one dares to come any closer after they’ve been offered shrooms, bread and wine. Some couples, or whole piles of copulating people don’t care what’s around them but some very devoted followers of Jared’s doctrine watch their Messiah and the new man very closely. Some are envious. Some are in awe of these two beautiful men sharing the body of Jesus Christ (strictly speaking Jared’s ‘brother’, just a few thousand years earlier) in such a manner. Jared’s tanned body glistens in the light and sparks of the bonfire and his hair started curling a little lately. Several people’s eyes turn wet. Given the beauty of their leader. Or given the fact there’s a new boy in town. And this boy is too pretty for his own good.
II
The wine is dry and aromatic, nothing you would just chug down and Jensen and Jared empty four chalices which are refilled by a maid that was brave enough to disturb her leader and the new recruit. It’s gotten chill and the bonfire shrinks and shrinks, some members of the Church try to revive it for a little longer and throw thick and heavy branches on it, along with brushwood that would burn easily and then transfer the fire over to the branches.
Just like in the 16th up to the 18th century – this is how you build a pyre to burn witches.
Jensen carefully, even a little shy now, lays a hand on Jared’s leg. The leader is surprised, given his attitude and behaviour he didn’t count on Jensen to take part in the orgy, he seemed more the watching type. The bonfire reflects in his intense green eyes and Jared feels an aching towards his new recruit. 
Now he realizes that Jensen’s white shorts are tenting. The way he looks up at Jared, through his thick blonde eyelashes it’s absolutely acting. Jensen is not that shy. Maybe a little. 
“The others told me…” Jensen started, “that I should under no circumstances give in to your… advances. You would, how did they say… tear me apart…? I wonder why…”
Jared snorts as an answer. Amused. His followers keep saying this to either see if someone’s brave enough to come forward right in their first few months here or if they’ll chicken out. 
“Well!” He has to laugh again. “Look, I think you’ve… you’ve watched a little without participating in this celebration, right? You’re still dressed, to my dismay!”
Jensen blushes, one hand on his crotch. Now, this reaction is a little more honest. 
“I can, I mean…”
Jared laughs louder now and then lays his hand on Jensen’s, that is covering his erect penis.
“Don’t make it awkward, Jensen, it’s fine. Not many participate in their first orgy and you are not obliged to, either. This is about free love. Father gave us free will for a reason. Because without free will, there is no love on this Earth.” 
There’s one streak of Jensen’s chin long hair, it’s styled but now the hairspray or the gel isn’t working it’s magic anymore. Jared brushes the strand behind Jensen’s ear. He’s closer to the recruit now and Jensen’s hand under his pulls away for the messiah to feel what’s underneath. 
“Regarding your concern about ripping you apart… I would never. But as you can see…”
Jensen’s eyes fixate on Jared’s growing cock and he gulps visibly.
“Yes, I…”, he looks up again, doe eyed and his mouth slightly opened, his pink silky tongue wets his lips. 
“You have the face of an angel, do you know that? I wonder what hides behind that…”
Jared’s voice is low and rough now, he groans when under his fingers Jensen’s cock jumps. 
“Jared, but… what if I can’t--”
“Shush, I’ll prepare you for it. And we have masses of oils. We’ll go slow. Very slow.”
A whisper erupts amongst the witnesses, their leader and idol! – wooing Jensen. A newbie. Some figures in the dark hurry for more oil, whole cans of it, juices, towels and fresh clothes. This is a choreography of duty to care for Jared. Everyone knows this is an occasion they won’t be able to witness that often. So far only one person could take Jared’s cock and fulfill his most aching wish. 
It’s Alex’s now hated duty to bring it all over to the blanket where Jensen climbs in Jared’s lap, panting faintly between two very passionate kisses. There’s fresh bread, more wine, water from the Church’s own well, fresh clothes for both and a big bottle of lube, oil based. It will stain every inch of fabric it’ll meet. Jared doesn’t even look up at him when he retreats, but he throws a ‘thank you’ in his direction. As soon as Alex is out of reach he is forgotten. 
Jared takes his time with this one. His commune members are in such harmony with each other already that prolonged foreplay isn’t necessary, but of course encouraged. Jensen is vocal, moans in their kisses and Jared loves the effort and the devotion he shows already. Jared pulls Jensen’s clothes off and bathes in the glow of this beautiful sight. Jensen’s skin is flawless, soft. It’s a joy touching him. Jensen pulls him in another kiss and arches in the leader’s strong arms - so responsive, in every way! 
“I want to try it,” Jensen then whispers, shakily.
“What exactly?”
“Take you. Suck you.”
Jared chuckles and gets up, pulls Jensen along on his lap. Jensen’s hand is big, he has deliciously thick fingers and Alex would appreciate some good fingering from him. He should introduce these two a little later
Jensen slides between Jared’s legs, who’s supporting himself with his arms to be able to watch Jensen try and gag on his cock. Jared senses some of his sisters and brothers coming closer, silently, to not interrupt them in their exploration ritual. He can’t blame them for being curious, and this is the exact purpose of their monthly gathering. Enjoy each other freely. 
Jensen’s mouth waters and when he opens his lips, a thick streak of drool runs down his face and chin. He doesn’t hesitate to bend down and wrap his lips around Jared’s tip.
A moment of breathless silence from everywhere. 
Jensen. slides. deeper. 
Jared moans and his head falls between his shoulder blades, so that he can see the clear starry night sky.
He will stop now, it’s too much. Oh God it’s too much, he can’t do it, Jared thinks, and then he starts praying Please let him go deeper. 
Jensen’s mouth feels tight, soft, and hot and he produces so much drool, it makes it messy. Perfectly messy. Jared’s head falls foward again and he watches Jensen taking him inch by fucking inch. Jared’s cock disappears in Jensen’s tight throat to the root. Jared stays perfectly still and tries to not even move a hair’s breadth. Jensen’s hand slightly presses on Jared’s stomach and then pulls away slowly. Painfully slowly, while working Jared’s incredibly thick shaft with his tongue. As soon as he’s able to look up to Jared everyone can see streaks of tears in his angelic face and his flushed cheeks. He keeps on working Jared’s tip, circling the bundle of nerves under the tip and then, with a high pitched gasp, pulls away completely.
He looks over to Jared and smiles. “Did I do good?”
Jared nods. It’s been ages since someone took him completely. It takes all of his willpower to not grab in Jensen’s hair and force his mouth down again to suck him off.. and then fuck his recruit’s face. He would gag and whine so pretty…. Jared needs a moment to breathe in and out very deeply, call himself to reason. 
“You are perfect,” he says, his voice shaky. “By the Angels, you are the best.”
Jensen blushes even deeper and looks away. He notices the other believers have gathered around them. Jared combs through his hair. He feels that Jensen now really is shy.. that’s not a show.
“Don’t bother, my dear. They won’t touch you if you don’t want to. I’m here for you and only you. Okay?”
Jensen nods. “So I really did good? Did no one before me take you that deep? I mean it’s a bit tricky but -”
Some of the watchers moan. 
“Did I say something wrong?”
“They all tried, dear. And failed. I guess you just earned yourself a title.”
Some of the watchers lurk in the dark, some are illuminated by the fainting bonfire. The sound of drums is gone. Jared watches Jensen look around and get used to it, after all. Then he turns to Jared and grins.
“I will work to keep the title then…,”
Jared pushes his delicious mouth on his cock again, and yes, fuck, holy fuck YES, Jensen can take him. He takes him so deep that Jared can feel his throat tighten and contract, but he’s not gagging in the bad way. Tears fall and drool runs down his reasonably thick shaft. Jared’s hand grips in Jensen’s hair and pulls. Jensen utters a surprised but pleased moan and keeps going faster and faster. One hand sneaks around Jared’s balls and massages them. Jared’s hips buck up and Jensen needs a break for a second, deep, hectic breathing, his teary eyes, the rest of the bonfire glistens in his eyes. Jared has a hard time holding back his possessive nature when Jensen just worships him like that. Faint and aroused moans around them show Jared that the others enjoy Jensen’s show as well. Some couples even have started fucking. Girls stand close by, rubbing their swollen and wet parts. 
“Look around,” he orders Jensen, “look around, how much love you spark.”
“Your voice… so deep… so much deeper,” Jensen is still fighting for breath. It makes Jared only crazier. 
“That’s you, you do that to me.” 
Jensen’s hand is still stroking him. Jared would be ready to come just now, preferably he’d shoot his massive load right in his throat, but what he wants even more, what’s the source of the deepest aching is the longing to finally be inside someone fully. He wants to ram his cock in Jensen up to the root and make him come first, then Jared could let go. 
“You’re close,” Jensen whispers and presses a kiss on Jared’s lips. “I swallow if you’re into that…”
Jared’s answer is a low and growl. “What I really want…”
“Let me guess… you want to fuck me? Here in front of all these people?”Jensen sounds out of breath, thrilled, over excited. His hands are shaking when he pulls himself on Jared’s lap.
Jared holds him close, his raging, painfully hard cock pressing on Jensen’s asshole. It’s slick from all this spit, but he wouldn’t dare to just enter him now, without warning. Without giving him something to chew on while Jared has to push his way in. 
“Free love. My pleasure is their pleasure,” Jared manages to say. He’s very proud to have that uttered in a manner that makes him seem still in control of himself. 
Jensen laughs quietly and then climbs down Jared’s lap. He stands up. And everyone can take a look at this beautiful body, shaped by God to strike people in awe. His own cock is thick and looks just delicious, Jared might want to get a taste one day, too. Then Jensen turns around and lowers on all fours, his perfectly shaped ass in Jared’s direction, head down, almost submissive. 
“Make your pleasure my pleasure,” he whispers, only Jared seems to hear it. 
Men and women formed a crescent around them now, the opening pointing to the dying fire. Jared licks his lips while he squeezes a very lavish amount of oil in his hand. He doesn’t cover his cock yet, he will help Jensen first. He enters him with one finger and Jensen bucks away first, in surprise but then lowers himself on the finger, starts fucking himself with it. His broken and sweet moans make Jared’s blood boil and also the participants around them start jerking harder. One hand gesture from Jared, and his followers stop. They shouldn’t finish before Jensen does, that’s just and right. 
“More,” Jensen demands, looking behind him with big teary eyes. His pupils are tiny and the iris of a thick and rich green. Jared gives him more. Jensen literally sucks the second finger in and when Jared starts massaging his prostate from outside with his thumb, Jensen cries out, stretching more and swallowing Jared’s long fingers to the root. He gasps tiny “oh god’s” and “fuck’s”. And then Jared isn’t able to hold the urge back and test if Jensen really is what Jared needs. Someone who fits him. He covers his long member with a lot of oil and also spreads generous amounts around Jensen’s anus.
“You think you’re ready, yeah?”
Jensen nods. “Positive.”
He even grabs his buttcheeks and pulls them apart, Jared has perfect sight of his slightly mouthing, dilated hole and all he has to do… He gulps violently, but then places his tip on Jensen’s entrance and sloooowly pushes in. Inch for inch. Jensen has to let go of his buttcheeks and his hands press on Jared’s hips.
“Holy… sh…”, Jensen huffs, “Is swearing even allowed?”
“Too much?”
“It’s a lot, but not too much… fuck…” 
Jensen breathes heavily but slowly, as slowly as Jared goes, his hands don’t push against him anymore and Jared can slide in even deeper. He’s amazed by how Jensen’s hole just swallows him, inch by delicious inch. He’s tight, extremely tight, thanks to the thick oily lube he won’t be hurt. Quite the opposite. Jared pushes in, freezes and rubs over Jensen’s back, soothing him. Jensen doesn’t need that much soothing though, after a few seconds of Jared holding perfectly still and just twothree inches away from going inside all the way he sinks against Jared’s hips, taking him fully with a low, needy moan that seems to last an eternity. 
“Please… move…” he moans, while Jared still holds Jensen’s hips and stares. Just stares in awe.
He really did it.
Jared can’t believe it’s really happening, that he feels so close to someone, again, finally, after such a long time. As he doesn’t start moving, Jensen rolls his hips back and forth, his back stretches and his hands clawing in the blanket. He just fucks himself on Jared’s member, doesn’t wait any longer and the moans he utters are - there is no other word -- they’re downright vulgar. It shows how much he lets go and it washes Jared away, his fingertips dig into Jensen’s hips as he meets his recruit’s pace. Now Jensen cries out, the words and moans just drop from his lips, he wants more, and Jared can feel how greedy he is. 
The audience around them is a choir of pleasure sounds, each of them takes Jared up so high he feels like he’s more than drunk. More than high. He feels like he’s elevating.
“Jared… Harder!” 
Jared fucks him harder. Jensen around him stretches and clenches like he wants to milk him dry, make him cum, but not now. It’s too good to let it end too early, he’s been starved too long and he wants to enjoy every second of fucking this angelic but oh so slutty adept. No one ever met his pace, wanted to be fucked harder and harder, no one asked to be sore, but Jensen does.
His moans are so loud his voice breaks and trails off, chokes on his own sounds. Jared loses it at this point, he grips in Jensen’s glossy hair and pulls him on his knees, closer to his body. Pounding his ass now makes beautiful wet sounds. Jensen leans on Jared’s chest and reaches for the prophet’s ass to push him deeper. And deeper.
“Can’t get enough, huh?”Jared growls, his hand in Jensen’s hair is pulling stronger, the other on Jensen’s hip holds him steady. “Want every inch of me?”
Jensen nods, sobbing. “Yes, never been fucked so good… just how I need --” He can’t even finish the sentence, Jared’s mighty deep thrusts make his voice fade into a cry. “Oh, God!”
Jared needs to slow down just for a bit, give himself time to breathe and hold back the orgasm that’s building up. He’ll shoot a massive load for sure, he wants it to be worth it. He bites Jensen’s neck and feels the violent shudder. They cling onto each other, hands in hair, fingernails scratching and leaving red trails. 
“No, no, don’t stop now… I’m so close,” Jensen huffs, turns his head to Jared, their lips meet and Jared kisses him until both are too breathless, too close to be gentle or patient. 
When Jared picks up his pace again it’s only a matter of a few seconds until Jensen cries out and sinks back on all fours, hiding his face in the blanket. He doesn’t have to touch himself to cum, with a loud and guttural sound he spills. And spills. It’s such a mindblowing orgasm. Everything about it is perfect. Jensen’s moans, how he pulls out handfuls of grass. His clenching asshole around Jared. The amount of cum he splatters on the sheets. Jared bends forward, pulls Jensen’s face up and turns it to the crowd.
“Let them look at you,” he hisses, “share the love.”
And then Jared cums, grunting and thrusting as deep as he can. His cock pumps and pumps masses. He’s never come so hard, so long, so satisfying. For a couple of seconds he doesn’t know anymore where he ends and Jensen begins, that’s how good and intimate it feels. Jensen’s tightness squeezes him tight and makes it impossible to move or pull out. 
Jared collapses on Jensen’s back. He’s dizzy. He needs a moment.
Around them the noises turn from moans to grunts. Heavy breathing. Jared gestures to the watchers to stop jerking. He wants to have Jensen for himself for another moment when he pulls out. Jensen winces underneath him but his face just shows blissful exhaustion. Jared loves to watch his cum pouring out his partner’s holes and it’s no different tonight. Not after this divine intervention. Not after he’s been blessed with such a partner. 
It’s a lot. Jensen turns his head to Jared, his face puffy and red, strands of wet blonde hair on his forehead. And now there’s the hint of a smirk. 
“Did I do well?” he asks.
“I think you know…” Jared replies.
His hand strokes Jensen’s still half hard cock and Jensen moans. So sensitive. Next time, Jared might return the favor and suck that pretty cock.
“Your brothers and sisters want to show you how much they enjoyed watching you.”
Jensen looks around, then back to Jared.
Now the smirk is undeniable. 
“Let ‘em come.”
Jared gets up, his muscular body beaming in the light of the moon and embers of the fire. He feels like he’s about to rise above anything and anyone. This union has given him the deepest peace he could ever feel. He still feels painfully hard and when he looks down he still is. His glossy cock perks up, but he won’t take Jensen a second time and risk really tearing him apart. 
Jensen is on his knees, arms stretched forward like a satisfied lioness, sticking out his freshly bred ass to the audience.
“Children. Time to welcome Jensen in your midst.”
Alex approaches Jared to wash him off with a fresh wet cloth and a sponge while the others gather around Jensen. No one touches the recruit, after Jared united with him, but he will be showered in attention and much more.
Two days later, Jensen is still a bit sore. 
He didn’t sleep much on the night of the celebration, he’s been too hyped, too high from the rush of alcohol, adrenaline and sex. Especially the sex. He can still feel Jared’s massive pole in his ass and everytime he gives in to the memory he shudders and feels his white robe tent. 
Everything in this commune is white. The community houses in which the members live, white. The Church, white. Jared’s residence, white. The only thing that seems to be different is the massive wooden chair in which Jared sat during the celebration and watched his followers unify. 
The blankets are white, the towels, the plates. Purity is an important pillar of this group, and everyone who’s not familiar with the customs might argue that collective orgies aren’t really pure, but Jensen knows better already. Purity is based on keeping your body healthy. The diet here isn’t vegan, but the community has their own farm. 120 people need food and water. Most of them live and work here. On the farm where vegetables and fruits are grown seasonally, or they take care of the cattle, pigs and chickens. Others help keep the houses intact. 
Days are warm, the nights are pitchblack, there’s a lake and a river closeby. Women wash the clothes of the community. There is no “mine” and “yours” in the Church. There is only “we” and “us” and “our”. 
Jensen has his own room, because the morning after the orgy, after the morning prayers and morning sports, in the great hall at breakfast, Jared proclaimed that Jensen was indeed heaven sent. Chosen by the Angels. That makes him special enough to have his own room for a while and it helps him acclimate in this environment. Most new members need that. They come from their picket fence life in the suburbs or the pulsing lives of a big city. They had day jobs, night jobs, family, addictions and almost everyone of them has been materially wealthy. 
Everything that keeps them away from living a pure, devoted life with God is taken away here. Jared provides everything they need. 
Some take a week to find their place in the community, some struggle for years. Some pack their bags as soon as they realize that the sense community here also consists of freedom in love, friendships. Children are born in this community and are raised by everyone, not only their genetic parents. No one here claims to own someone or something.
Well.
At least they say so.
Alex’s room is - as it’s appropriate for his position - in Jared’s residence. This morning he decided to cut his shoulder long, honey blond hair and trim his long beard.
Purity doesn’t mean to be shaven clean or have short hair. Purity comes from the heart, free will and the ability to love. Alex doubts he is quite pure at the moment. The community is free of the toxicity of a material life - in the community, you don’t aspire to climb up ranks. There are simply only three ranks. The community, Alex, Jared. Jared is their natural leader, it is supposed to be like that. Alex is chosen. Alex is confident.
He was. His heart is full of love for the cause and for Jared. 
Until a few nights before he looked in the mirror every morning and smiled at his reflection. Because the reflection showed him a confident young man of faith. Full of love, not bound but blessed with free will. 
Then, his heart started to hurt. 
Now he hates his blue eyes, he hates his long hair, he hates the beard. He hates that he isn’t able to provide Jared the one thing he ached for.
It feels like an inconsistency of Jared’s teachings. Or Alex just isn’t at the point of enlightenment he always thought he was. He finds the fault in himself rather than Jared. But he likes it most thinking that it’s Jensen’s fault.
Jensen with the dazzling green eyes that tantalize Alex. And his damn ability to merge with Jared. Something no one in the community ever could provide. 
Alex hates that someone other than him satisfies Jared in any way.
When he looks in the mirror he sees the man who came here all these years ago when Jared’s predecessor was still alive. The man who crashed here after drugs and sex addiction ruined his life.
Growth is something that never stops. And any day you don’t work through your struggles puts you one step further away from divinity and back into the life of materiality and toxicity.
Jared mustn’t know.
Alex stares blankly in the mirror while he shaves his beard off. Completely.
It takes a few days generally for the community to calm down after such a night. Jared knows that. He feels sore himself, but in a good, satisfying way. His community is thriving, they have new members. Fresh blood. The prayers are inspiring. Jared insists on holding the divine services all by himself. These days he’s beaming with love and the rich and satisfying feeling of being connected. This is Jensen’s merit. His sensuality, his sexual aura, everything about him reminds Jared of the Archangel Michael, the fiery son of God who guarded Eden. Everything about Jensen seems to set Jared on fire. And not only Jared. The others feel it too. The women, the men, everyone stares when he passes. It takes Jared a lot of introspection, prayer and exercise to not just drag him back in his bed. Jared is known for being considerate, kind, and balanced. He leads these people on their path to God and divinity, he is their idol. The true Vicar of the Holy Father. Preferring Jensen in his first month here would weaken his own strong will. He’s sure this man is sent by his Father to heal his hurts, but he needs to care for his community first. 
Jared must not be selfish. He obeys the Lord and he will follow His guidance wherever it may take him. When he knows that his community is safe. 
After morning’s prayer and exercise Jared retreats to the communal bath. Alex prepared everything like always. He’s shaven clean and his hair is way shorter than before. While Jared sinks in the hot tub, Alex hesitates to accompany him. He looks bitter. Some of the old worry lines reappeared. Jared makes an inviting gesture.
“Come in, Alex.”
Today, Jared notices, it sounds like more than an order. 
Alex first shakes his head, but then looks up and his face softens. The lines disappear. He undresses and joins Jared for a bit.
Jared pulls him on his lap, it’s unusual for Alex to be physically distant. He recognizes his assistant has a razor cut on his chin. He runs his thumb just right under it and Alex inhales sharply.
“Why did you shave your beard?” he asks.
Alex looks away, bites his lip. His tooth gap is adorable. 
“I didn’t like it anymore.”
Jared frowns. 
“Do you doubt yourself?”
A scoff. Jared knows he just hit a nerve. Alex never scoffs at him.
“It’s just hair,” he replies. Now he even sounds a bit defiant. 
“Alexandros.”
Alex stiffens. Jared has a habit of calling him by his full name when he fucks up, just like a mother would.
Jared cups his face and looks straight in those bright blue eyes and he sees the vulnerable boy that Alex still is. His progress is phenomenal, but part of him will always stay in the darkness he escaped. 
Alex writhes but doesn’t honestly struggle against him. 
“Your looks are not important. Be careful with your heart.”
A faint nod. Jared kisses his forehead, then his lips. Suddenly no writhing, no defiance, no stubborn behavior. Alex is pliant. Good.
“I have to go”, Alex mumbles, “I have to prepare our departure to Seattle… Our original flight was cancelled…” 
Jared nods. Actually he has no desire to attend this event, but as the leader of this religious community, he has to fulfill some duties. Like going to charity events. It’s not that he hates charity, quite the contrary, as a son of God, it’s his pleasure and deepest wish to make the world a better place, but he hates the whole attention. He hates being compared to apocalypse cults or worse. His teachings are as pure as they can get under given pretenses and the struggle of humanity to overcome the Great Tribulation. 
Alex knows. “I know you don’t want to go. But I will make it worth the trip.”
“You always do.”
Alex gets up with slightly shaky legs and a very impressive erection. When he jumps back in his clothes he even turns away. Suddenly he is so shy. When they’re back from Seattle, Jared will have to hold some very intense prayer and service sessions with Alex. He seems in need of healing. And that’s what Jared was chosen for. Provide for people like Alex.
Alex isn’t gone for five minutes when Jared hears a shuffling behind him.
“Did you forget something, Alexandros?”
Someone’s clearing their throat and it’s not Alex. When Jared turns around he sees Jensen standing in the entrance, blushing and looking at his feet.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to… umm, am I disturbing you?” 
Jared’s face lights up and he turns around fully, crossing his arms on the brim of the pool. Jensen is in his white robe, bread crumbs along his collar. He probably just ate breakfast. His hair is messy. 
“Not at all,” Jared replies, “usually, I don’t have guests when I bathe but you’re welcome to join today. You’re new, you can’t know.”
Jensen frowns. “Alex doesn’t count as a guest?”
“No. He is wherever I am, unless he doesn’t want to be.”
Now Jensen’s eyes glow. 
“Like now?”
Jared grins. 
“You are a cheeky one, aren’t you?” he asks.
Jensen stands there, looking at him like he’s about to say ‘yes’, but ultimately doesn’t. 
Jared gestures. “Come in already.” 
Ruffling of clothes tells him that his recruit followed his wish and now gets undressed. A moment later Jensen slides in the water beside Jared, about an arm’s length away. His cheeks turn pink.
“Are you well?”Jared asks, just as the caretaker of his people, he is always worried about them. Always ready to provide care if needed or wanted. 
Jensen’s teint turns even brighter. Ah. The orgy. It was surely his first time.
“I mean, I think I got a little rough with you there,” the leader admits.
Jensen shakes his head a little, a shy smile and a dreamy gaze show that Jensen might indeed be well. It would be reassuring to hear it though.
“No, no, it wasn’t rough at all but I would lie if I said I don’t still feel you inside me. It was a very world-shaking experience.”
“Uh-huh,” Jared replies, “it was.”
The memory alone makes Jared’s body fill with a need to do it again. Just right here. His pliant and slick body, how hot and tight and damn, how responsive and eager he was to take his cock. And that he succeeded!
Jensen turns to him, comes a little closer to get in touch, physically and Jared is very fond of the idea to have him close. Without a word, Jensen’s hand under the water’s surface, lays a hand on Jared’s thigh. Very close to his member. Flaccid. Yet. And still very big. Jared knows he’s gifted with this large cock and people who can take it, they won’t want anything else after they’ve tried it.
“I wondered, why, umm, everyone treats me like I’m super special, you do too…” Jensen’s eyes are fixated on the tiny waves his hand causes when he strokes along Jared’s thigh. “What makes me special?”
That is a very interesting question and Jared needs some time to think about it. Take deep breaths. It also shows that his new member has not ingrained all of the lore of the Church of Grace. That’s normal. No one knows it by heart after joining so recently. 
“Being special is a gift from the Lord, my Father. Everyone is special in their unique way. Take Alex. He’s devoted and tough, loyal and very good at organizing things. Ruth and Judith, you probably crossed their paths already, they’re the best cooks I’ve ever been blessed to taste. Also they are very skilled in sculpting. Everyone is special. Some special things seem to be common, like, so many people on this Earth are talented cooks, tailors, musicians, yogis. And you, you are special, because you give me a feeling of unity in such a primal way, it may seem succinct or superficial. What is it worth, being able to take me? It might not be special to others, but to me this is a thing that brings me peace. And this peace, I can multiply, share it with my people. And by the Lord, it’s not only your physical perks. The way your brothers and sisters here look at you. Some are jealous, but most see in you the most important addition to the community in years. You have a spark in you and you will do great things for the Church. I’m sure of it.”
Jensen stares and Jared notices the slight squint of his deep green eyes. His utter beauty is a gift to humanity already. He radiates purity. If he knows that?
“Is that understandable for you?” Jared asks. He lays a hand in Jensen’s neck and gently squeezes. Pulls him closer. Just an inch but it’s enough to feel Jensen way better and catch his vibes. 
“Yes, it is,” Jensen says, “I’m glad this community welcomed me, I’m glad I met you.”
Now he wraps his hand around Jared’s shaft, which is still too much and he won’t be able to embrace it completely. 
“I was worried, I am worried, it will be the only time to be close to you.”
“You will be close to me every day. At the service, at the monthly celebration. We share everything here.”
“But, can I be alone with you, just like now?” Jensen huffs, his grip tightens. Jared is just a man, his body reacts and he grows hard, so big that the tip would break the water surface now if Jensen let go. 
“I’m a man of my people, I will not deny you. To be honest, yes, I invite you to be with me.”
It would be so easy to lift Jensen up and let him sink down on his cock. It would be amazing to feel him right now. But he is still a little sore. Complete physical unity has to wait. 
“Jared…” A sigh. “What you made me feel that night… I think I felt closer to my true self than ever.”
“I’m glad this is helping you. There will be a lot of occasions for you to discover your deepest self, your fears, your worries… Everything will come to light and I know, you will overcome, you will shine and rise above your plain human being.”
Jensen’s hand moves now. He knows how to touch a man, strictly physical. It's a mechanical reaction after all, but when Jared looks deep into these green eyes he discovers his own need and how much he suffered without a mate that would be close to him. 
“Tell me, how do you like it… I feel it, I need it… you need it…?”
“I long for it.”
Jared wraps his hand around Jensen’s to guide him with the strokes.
He wants it to build up slowly, and his hand on Jensen’s neck holds him steady, whispering his instructions to keep eye contact, when to slow down and when to get faster. And Jensen is all in with it, he’s passionate, his tiny moans and curses, just from seeing Jared, make it extra hot. Actually Jared doesn’t need to climax here, because the mere anticipation of his partner is more than satisfying. They sink in a kiss when Jared’s instructions turn into a breathless staccato of ‘yes like that’s. He’s noisy when he comes and jerks in Jensen’s hand, forceful first but rapidly turning lazy and soft. 
“Teach me more,” Jensen whispers, his face burning red, making his freckles pop even more.
Jared's head sinks on Jensen’s chest. 
“About what?”
“About, what you like, how you like it… how we… connect… unify… Physically, I know… I can do that,” Jensen bites his lip.
“But you don’t know how it works spiritually?”Jared asks, placing a kiss on Jensen’s freckled shoulder. 
“Is that a stupid question?”
A headshake. Why should it be? But Jared knows, Jensen is insecure, he longs for answers and guidance. 
“Believe me, you didn’t ask a stupid question so far. You crave unity?”
Jensen nods.
“Just like you do.”
“I would love to show you more of it. But I will have to go to a congress in Seattle in three days. Alex and I will be gone and you’ll be on your own for a couple of days,” Jared replies. There is indeed some longing in his voice. 
“Oh, that is… it will be long and I’m new, I…”
Jared clicks his tongue while he combs Jensen’s hair. “You don’t have to worry, everyone will take care of you. They will do what I’d do. You will be shown around.”
Jensen shakes his head. His muscles stiffen just lightly.
“That’s not my worry, but- I wish I could be with you.”
This causes Jared’s eyebrows to raise. He wants to be with Jensen, too. Show him the world that Jared lives in and help with the settling. It’s hard to find a place in a community. Jared also fears (and hopes) that Jensen found a way in his heart.
“You are with me. And you will be. You belong to the community now.”
Jensen winds.
“I mean… could you… I would like to go to Seattle. With you…”
“And Alex,” Jared corrects.
“And Alex,” Jensen confirms.
There is no reason to say ‘no’, but there is also no reason to say ‘yes’ that is justifiable. Jensen is new. But he’s shown commitment and he wants to learn. They would bond. Jared wants it. Badly.
“Will it put your heart at ease when I say yes?”
Jared smiles and it’s a knowing one. Jensen smiles. He also knows. 
“Yes, it would.”
The way Jensen smiles and blushes is cute, maybe a little staged. Jared’s not an idiot, he knows that Jensen is wooing him. Trying to impress. Wants to appeal. He already does, there is no need to be overly pliant. Jared enjoys the attention though, who would judge him for it? He presses a kiss on Jensen’s lips and their hug turns closer, just like the last minutes of touching didn’t exist. Jared wouldn’t complain about that, either. 
“Thank you,” he utters before he can think it through.
“For what?”
Jared squeezes Jensen’s growing cock. 
“For giving me - peace.”
Peace is not the only thing Jared wants to thank his disciple for, but Jensen’s soft moan drowns any further thoughts. He wants to merge. Now. He doesn’t want to wait. Not for them to be in his room or Jensen’s. Just take him here.
Alex listens to the quiet conversation that turns into moans and splashing, Jared’s deep and ground shaking grunts. He would be a big fat liar if he claimed to be untouched by it, even Jensen’s soft noises make him rock hard. But what he feels in his heart and what he feels in his body, these two things diverge wildly from each other. He shoves a hand in his pants and hates himself for it. But who he hates more is Jensen. He will take Jared away from him. 
That mustn’t happen.
Alex has to do something about it. Soon.
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jauneda1 · 3 years
Text
ANNIHILATION AU Remake
First Night part 1
TIME 19:45: Jaune was holding a unconscious Ruby Rose Bridal style running from the many horrors behind him. People attack other people they're eating other people Jaune couldn't even call them human anymore. "When did it get this bad."
Time 4:25: Jaune had sprung awake he didn't know why he woke up earlier then he would. So might as well do his morning routine then check up on any homework. After his run and endurance training, he moved to sword training and noticed that quite a few students where in the medical ward. He heard it started 2 weeks that a new form of Flu is going around students are required to wear mask and gloves, and to keep distance from each other during class. It was new for everyone but it made classes even more difficult to sit through especially Oobleck's class.
Time 10:37: Jaune was sitting in the left hand corner he had laid claim on after the social distancing which in all honesty didn't matter. It was only his team, Rwby, Cfvy, and what's left of Crdl. They're teammate Sky Lark caught the new flu going around. They where all in Combat class with Primary teacher Glynda Goodwitch and secondary teacher Raven Branwen. Jaune was going to fight Yang which if where gonna be honest is cruel and unusual punishment because Jaune may be better then he was when he came to Beacon. That doesn't mean shit when you gotta 1v1 the temptress/bully/sexist girl at Beacon outside of her mom and her sick boots dominating personality. Oh Jaune knew this was gonna hurt so good depending on how hard she hit him
Yang: "Okay Lady killer you ready to get down and dirty?"
Jaune: "You have no idea- I mean I'm ready when you are."
Jaune Arc is a slight masochist.
Before the two could get down to it everyone in the rooms Scroll's went off a emergency broadcast stating that mass violence has broken out in the city of Vale along with Rioting and mass cannibalism. Both teachers where unsure of what to do untill over the loud speaker Professor Ozpin spoke in a frantic and rushed voice announcing that they're fellow students who where sick in the medical ward are now up and attacking fellow students. Please move back to your dorms and wait for further instructions. We are looking towards evacuating the students if we are unable to contain the situation. Just as that was said three students ran into the room and closed the door behind them. Trying to hold back whatever chased them in here.
As everyone was trying to figure out what to do because if everything was true then how where they gonna get out of the combat room. Raven then spoke about how the combat room leads into the outside pavilion for larger scale battles. That pavilion leads towards the courtyard then the dorms.
Time 16:45: Everyone is tired and defeated sitting inside team Rwby's dorm. With Ms.Branwen and Goodwitch in tow. The adults where completely unable to even begin to explain what's going on the only people who made it out of combat class. Are team Rwby without Yang and Ruby. Jnpr, missing Jaune. All of team Cfvy with the exception of Yatsuhashi. Sadly all of team Crdl, the students that ran into there combat class. They where attacked they all saw Sky Lark attack his own team leader with a bite to the jugular. This sent a sense absolutely sorrow and fear in everyone present. No one saw or really believed that this was serious. Jaune had ran forward and bashed Sky off of Cardin but this did nothing to help the dying student. Sky was very violent to Jaune rushing him and hitting his shield. Unable to force Jaune back, so Jaune simply pushed him off until his own teammate Russell hit him in the side of the head with the butt of his weapon. This knocked the block off of Sky but he still shot up and tackled Russell into a door that was closed but when the two went through they where surrounded by infected who torn Sky apart and began to flood the ballroom. Jaune was completely cut off from everyone. He had no choice but to push past them if possible.
Jaune, Yang, and Ruby where completely cut off from the group and right now Jaune was holding off a doorway of atleast 4 infected. As the two sister got the door open he knew that he might not be able to run over to them with them right behind him. Then the pain shot through Jaune like a gun shot. One of the infected had fell down got Jaune on the side. Right above the hip. He let out a scream and this caused them both to turn around Ruby scream out to him and Jaune yelling back to them his pleas telling them to go begin to die out. The infected is still tearing into his side. Yang told Ruby to stay here as she gets to work helping Jaune killing the 3 on his shield then grabbing the one biting him off. Jaune right at this moment was losing a lot of blood but they needed to get out of there.
Time 20:25: Jaune,Yang and Ruby got back to the group but now they're faces with a new hardship Jaune infection and the evacuation. They where told that in the next thirty minutes they needed to be at the launch pad for evacuation. The efforts to save Beacon academy are pointless people in the city still seem to be holding out at the hospital and police station. Also city hall seems to be still standing but no confirmation on the survivors the military corporation URA (United Remnant Army) is sending in it's mercenaries to help in evacuating and containing this phenomenon. Everyone knew that Jaune being bitten was a liability but for some reason Jaune hasn't turned. Everyone that has turned into one of the infected it happened in mere seconds after being bitten. The only exception is when the brain is damaged. In Russell's case his head slammed up against a door and the concrete floor before he was devoured. While Cardin got back up and started to attack the living that's how they lost Yatsuhashi.
They needed to know if it was okay to push forward with Jaune being infected and now from what they have heard. They're seems to be a mutation in some infected they're become faster and more violent. Being able to run and jump several meters in the air to catch fleeing pray. Do they leave they're friend or bring him along?
End off Ch 1 part 1
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tocrackerboxpalace · 3 years
Text
January, 1972
Summary: In Paul's first interview since the breakup of the Beatles, things go slightly awry when a nosy reporter gets more out of him than she bargained for.
Part 3/3 (1, 2)
The doorbell rang.
Paul jolted awake. He was still on the couch, unsure of how long he’d been sitting there, but pale morning light seeped in through the cracks of the curtains.
In a half-daze, he struggled to his feet, trying to ascertain his surroundings. Why had he been on the couch? Who was at the door? Why were they bothering him at—he peered at the clock on the wall, startled to find that it was already 10:00 a.m.
He fumbled with the locks until the door finally creaked open, flooding the living room with bright daylight and making him wince.
“What the fuck did you do?”
Paul’s body froze at the figure in the doorway, clear as day despite a sloppy hat-and-sunglasses disguise.
“I—”
“I don’t want some bullshit excuse, Paul, because I woke up to reporters halfway up my arse and Rings on the line talking about some fucking interview you did last night. What did you do?”
“I-I’m sorry,” Paul stammered helplessly.
John pushed his way past Paul into the house, tossing his cover to the side with vitriol. He collapsed on the couch where Paul had been asleep only moments before and threw his head in his hands.
Paul sensed that it was his turn to explain himself, though nothing on earth quite sounded less appealing. “I might have… sort’ve… confessed.”
John raised his head, glaring at him wearily. Go on.
“I didn’t mean to. They cornered me. Wouldn’t stop asking about me new song, and it is about you, of course it’s about you, but I—I thought I was vague enough to—”
John laughed sharply, interrupting Paul’s train of thought. “Doesn’t matter anymore. I called you out on it, and now everyone’s lookin’ for cryptic bullshit in your songs.”
Paul pretended not to feel annoyed at the assertion. Suddenly, another memory came full force back to him, and his voice got quiet, eyes flicking away from John’s penetrative gaze. “They asked me about India.”
“They what? Paul, how the fuck could they know about India?”
Anger rose in his throat as he fought to defend himself in what seemed like an unwinnable case. “I don’t fucking know. No one actually knows but us.” There was an accusatory edge to his voice.
John was incredulous. “You think I had something to do with that?”
Paul crossed his arms, though he still wouldn’t meet his gaze. “It certainly wasn’t me.”
John was on his feet again in a flash of fury. His voice was saturated with sarcasm, but Paul didn’t miss the lingering of hurt in there as well. “Sure. You got me pinned, Macca. I’m such a little media whore that I went and spilled every little detail of the worst moment of my life to the press. And because I’m a selfish goddamn prick I encouraged them to ask you about it in an interview, so that I could laugh at your pain in my great new fuckin’ life without you. Because why? Because I like seeing you suffer?” In his effort to avoid John’s eyes, Paul noticed that the man’s hands were shaking. “I thought you knew me better than to believe in the goddamn press portrait of me.”
There was a lot more that seemed to be said in John’s words than the words themselves.
“You’re still bitter,” Paul whispered. The wrong thing to say.
John’s eyes flashed dangerously. He was shouting now. “Of course I’m fuckin’ bitter, Paul! You turned me down. You said no to me. I loved you more than—”
“Don’t,” Paul pleaded hoarsely, tears suddenly buzzing at the brim of his eyelids.
“You don’t get to do this, Paul,” he continued without missing a beat. “I loved you more than I’d ever loved anyone in my life. A-and I couldn’t explain it, because it was a different love altogether, and I’m not sure if that made it true with you, or just better, but-but it was real. It was the most real thing that ever happened to me, and I was so certain that you understood that too.”
“John,” Paul begged.
“But you didn’t. At least, not on the same level, because if you had then we wouldn’t be here right now.” John waved a vague hand in the air, his cheeks bright with fury. Paul couldn’t bear to see it reflected in his eyes. “So you don’t get to do this. You don’t get to write songs and go on television talking about how much I hurt you.”
Paul only swallowed.
“Did you know how fuckin’ hard it was to listen to that song, Paul?” John said abruptly, his gaze straight out the window and his hands balled into fists. His lip was trembling in its place under his teeth. “To hear you say that you were in love with me?”
“I am–“
“Bullshit!” John yelled, and for a brief moment, Paul’s eyes were drawn up and he thought that John might actually hit him. When John slumped back in surprise at his own outburst, Paul felt a flood of rage overtake him, energy transferred from one to the other.
“You don’t fucking understand, John! You’re not like me! You’ve never given two shits about what the world thinks of you. You act like you do, with us, like you’re some poor misunderstood soul, but you don’t.” Paul began listing on his fingers, ignoring John’s protesting gape. “The Jesus comment, Yoko, Two Virgins, writing song after song knowing they’re going to be banned. You spew your bullshit and do whatever you please and sometimes it feels like you’re trying to give the world the finger and that’s fine, con-fuckin-gratulations for you, but I’m not like that.”
He suddenly felt very tired as John closed his mouth into a firm line. Paul recognized the expression. Understanding. “I’m not like that. It matters to me. And I don’t know what that says about me, or how to fix it. So simply the sudden legality of it all couldn’t magically change my mind. And now that’s something I have to live with, for the rest of my days, because I know now that it would have been worth it. And we could’ve handled it together. I didn’t understand then, but I do now. And I do love you.”
John rolled his eyes in helpless exasperation. “So what do you want to do, eh? Say fuck-all to our wives, our families? Our new lives? Just because you were too chicken-shit to say something four years ago?” He shook his head. “It’s too late for us, Paul. What’s that they say? Right person, wrong time?”
The polite smile John gave in closing made Paul feel sick to his stomach.
“Why did you come here, John?”
The defendant shrugged. He took a few steps backwards and sunk back onto the couch. “Honest?”
Paul hesitated. He might have had enough honesty for the day.
John sighed. “Wanted to see you.” He gave a sudden glare, shooting down Paul’s curious eyebrows. “Not because I missed you. I wanted to see you try and explain yourself. I hadn’t known what happened in the interview, but I’m not bloody stupid. I could tell it was something of this… scale. And I was so fuckin’ tired of trying to read you over the phone.”
Paul felt the strange urge to smile. And suddenly, he was laughing, undeterred even by the expression of utter bewilderment on John’s face.
“Christ, all that? Isn’t it, like, five in the morning there?”
“Well, yeah, I told you—Rings called, and you Englishmen have no bloody consideration for time zones.”
Paul let out a chuckle that felt far too relieving. His smile quieted as reality began to sink in. “I’m sorry.”
John met his eyes for only a moment. “S’not your fault. They do it to me, too.”
“What are you going to do?”
He shrugged. “Deny. Deny, deny, deny. Don’t know what he’s talking about, must’ve gone mad, trying to frame me as a queer. Wanted to stir up a fight. I’ll think of something.”
Paul swallowed. He wasn’t sure what he expected.
John peered over his glasses, his mouth pressed into a firm line. He removed them slowly, folding them in his lap. When he looked up again, Paul felt a shiver travel down his spine at the familiarity of the amber eyes on his, unprotected, unveiled. They hadn’t looked that way to him in so long.
“It’s only me,” John said quietly. Paul could hear in the tone that it was meant to be soothing, but the words made his heart twitch violently. “You know…not to take everything I say about you to heart, yeah?”
Paul nodded, gaze cast downwards for fear of brimming tears.
“Sometimes I mean it. I’m allowed to mean it. But this?” He sighed. “Whatever happens, you have to know that we have to. They’ll believe us so long as we present it as another one of our publicized scraps.”
“I’ve got to be the bad guy,” Paul conceded.
John nodded a confirmation. “I’ll, erm… I’ll say that it’s an attack. That you’re trying to frame me as something that I’m not, because you’re still hung up on the breakup. And it’s my reputation you’re worried about. I’ll say you’ve been on a bender, and lucid-dreamed-up an idealized version of our partnership. I’ll make another offhand comment about how we hardly wrote together much less knew one another, and you… You won’t say anything. You’ll stay here with—” he suddenly seemed to choke on the words. “Linda. The kids. And you can talk to her about it, I don’t care. But that’s what I’m going to say, and you have to be okay with that.”
Paul only stared. He knew in the back of his mind that John was right, but that didn’t help the nausea coursing through his veins.
“You have to be okay with that,” John repeated, his voice trembling slightly. “For both of us.”
The words were so far from the truth in some ways and yet too close to the truth in others. John offered a hand to shake, but appeared to think better of it, withdrawing the deal almost immediately. He knew Paul would agree, anyway, of course he would. And neither of them knew if they could handle the contact, no matter how brief.
“I should be going,” John said after a moment.
“You could stay,” Paul offered, his mind frantically arranging a comfortable setup for John to spend a few days.
John pushed himself up off of the couch and gazed around the room briefly, looking for something he hadn’t left. “Why?”
The image of the pull out couch in the den crumbled to death in his imagination. “Yeah. Okay.”
John gave one last, awkward nod, both men standing helplessly in the middle of the room. He hesitated for another moment before shuffling over to the front door, grabbing up his hat and glasses beside it, and pulling it open.
Paul wasn’t sure what made him say it, but he couldn’t stop the words from flowing out. “I love you.”
John scratched the back of his neck before turning to go. “I–yeah. See you around, Paul.”
He shut the door behind him.
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icyblast101 · 4 years
Note
16. “You keep saying that we’re friends but you look at me for a moment too long for that to be true.” With either roommate au or fake dating please 💗✨✨
Hello! I can! Thanks for the request.
Now, you did not clarify what ship you would like me to write about...
So imma just assume it is for TodoBaku, as this is mainly a tdbk account, but if it is not the ship you meant please let me know :)
---
Dialogue prompt: “You keep saying that we’re friends but you look at me for a moment too long for that to be true.”
Trope: Fake relationship.
Ship: TodoBaku.
---
“Fucking icy hot and his shitty puppy dog eyes.” Bakugou mumbles as he closes the door to his dorm room. Bakugou makes his way over to his bed and nearly breaks his bed with how much force he added as he jumped onto the bed.
Bakugou did not want this in his life, this problem, that is not his for starters. But half n half gave his these disturbingly sweet-looking eyes, and Bakugou caved in.
“I am an idiot,” Bakugou admits to himself. “Now I have to fucking date the son of the number one hero, and it is not even real!” Bakugou flips onto his back, looking at his roof. “I am meant to be focusing on becoming the number one hero, not being in relationships, I did not fucking plan this.”
Bakugou sighs and closes his eyes, today had been a long day, and he just needed a long relaxing sleep.
Todoroki sits back on the couch in the 1A dorm rooms. He was really surprised that Bakugou agreed to his plan. Todoroki expected that after he had explain his idea of pretending to be in a fake relationship to spite his father Bakugou would yell at him and walk off saying ‘it is not my fucking problem nerd’, but instead Bakugou asks a couple of questions like; “Why?” and “Why you choose me?”
In all honesty, Todoroki just wanted to annoy his father. Yes, he and his father were slowly getting back to being somewhat civilized, but lately, Todoroki realised his father has been trying to set him up with a girl, that he was not interested in. The main reason for this was because he was trying to focus on becoming a hero, as well as he did not think he was stable to be in a relationship right now, and also the fact that he was a homosexual.
When Todoroki confronted his father about the girl and his reasonings, his father told him; “Look Shouto, this is most likely a phase, just like your rebellious phase. This girl I am setting you up with will be a good match with your quirk.” Right after heard these words, he knew he had to show his father that this was not a phase.
His plan on Bakugou was pretty obvious in his mind, Bakugou would most likely be down for a challenge. He and Bakugou had been gotten closer since their time spent with each other while trying to gain their hero licenses. They were friends, as much as Bakugou disagreed to that statement. Also, the added bonus that his father would probably not like Bakugou.
Todoroki sat and smiled. He and Bakugou were now dating.
The next day Todoroki and Bakugou met up in Todoroki’s bedroom to sort somethings out.
“Ok, the first thing we need to know is how we got together?” Todoroki asked, stopping the silence.
“Tch, that is easy,” Bakugou said as he lied back on Todoroki’s futon, that Todoroki did not consent to, “I asked you out.” He finishes.
“Ok, but why?”
Bakugou was silent for a second.
“I found you attractive, you are a strong hero and I was not a pussy and asked you out.” Bakugou states like it was obvious.
“Oh, thank you for thinking that Bakugou.”
“It is a lie, dumbass, this is a fake relationship.”
“Oh, yeah,” Todoroki said, a little disappointed, “So, you thought I was attractive and said you were not a pussy and asked me out?”
“Yep,” Bakugou says, popping the P, “Pretty much.”
Todoroki nodded and walked over towards Bakugou, who was still lying on his futon, which he still has not consented to, might he add.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Bakugou asked as Todoroki started lying down next to Bakugou.
“Trying to be closer to you.”
“Why the fuck?”
“So we can get used to it, we need to be able to touch each other in a romantic aspect without being weirded out by it.”
“You saying it like that is weirding me out.” Bakugou says, putting his arms behind his head.
Todoroki faces Bakugou while lying on his side, Bakugou starts right back at him. They start to have a spontaneous starting contest. A silence surrounds them, making this moment more intimate then it needs to be.
Todoroki wins once he puts his arm around Bakugou’s stomach, catching him off-guard.
“What the fuck you doing?”
“Cuddling you.”
“Yeah, I can see that.”
“Why did you ask then?”
Bakugou sighs, “You are a pain, you know that.”
“I have been told by you,” Todoroki says as he turns around to his other side, facing away from Bakugou, “many times.” He adds.
Bakugou snorts, “Didn’t think you were capable of understanding that.”
“I might surprise you, with how much I have learnt over the months of being in UA.”
“Yeah, you only know the things that are popular at the moment from my pain in the ass weeds.”
“You mean your-“ Todoroki gets cut off once he feels Bakugou’s arm hug his waist.
“Say the words ‘friends’ and I will end this agreement.” Bakugou barks, with absolutely no bite.
“We are friends, right?”
“Nope.”
Todoroki just sighs, and start to head off the sleep, with Bakugou hugging his from behind.
Todoroki is abruptly awoken by Bakugou shaking him.
“Wake up dipshit, we gotta go have breakfast.” Bakugou practically yells in Todoroki’s ear.
“One more minute, I wanna sleep.” Todoroki mumbles, it is surprising that Bakugou understands.
“Ugh! Come on, up you get!” Bakugou yells as he starts to pick up Todoroki and fling him over his shoulder. If Todoroki was not awake before, he was now.
“Bakugou?” Todoroki asks as Bakugou opens the door and starts walking down the stairs towards the kitchen. “What are you doing?”
“Carrying you.”
“But why, I wanted to sleep some more.”
Bakugou does not answer as he walks into the kitchen with Todoroki still hung over his shoulders.
He grabs some boiled eggs from the fridge and put some in a bowl and walks to the dining table and sits Todoroki down on the chair carefully. While all this happens, half on the class watch with mouths hung open.
“Eat, dumbass.” Bakugou demands. Todoroki obeys.
“What is happening?” Bakugou hears pink cheeks whisper.
“We are dating is what the fucks happening!” Bakugou announces.
Many of the class gasps, Deku cries.
“K-kacchan and Todoroki?!”
“Who the fuck else?!”
Deku faints.
By the end of the day, everyone in the school knows about the two soon to be hero’s relationship. It even went on the news as ‘UAs first same-sex couple’.
Bakugou had not heard all day from Todoroki, which Bakugou did not care about, because he did not care about the half n half bastard. The only reason as to why Bakugou knocks on Todoroki’s door at 10 pm was only because he needed to make sure he was still alive, so people did not think he killed him, that’s the only reason.
Todoroki opens the door and smiles once he sees Bakugou, which did not make Bakugou blush.
“Hello Bakugou,” Todoroki says as he opens the door to let him in, “What brings you here?”
“Where were you all day?” Bakugou says bluntly.
“Oh, I was here, on a very long call from my father.”
Bakugou was silent for a minute.
“How did it go?”
“Better than I thought, he was actually understanding and says he will try to be fine with it.” Todoroki says with a small smile. Bakugou did not get butterflies in his stomach, and if he did, he killed each and every one of them.  
“That’s good, I guess.”
“Yeah, thanks by the way, for doing this. I am glad we got to hang out a bit more than normal.”
“Whatever, does this mean we don’t have to do this anymore right?” Bakugou questions, looking at the ground like it just insulted him.
“Yeah, we can just go back to being friends.” As Todoroki says this Bakugou starts at him, once again going into a spontaneous staring contest.
“You keep saying that we’re friends, but you look at me for a moment too long for that to be true.” Bakugou says without thinking.
Todoroki tills his head. “Huh?”
Bakugou is not a pussy, he does not back down and run away. He fights for what he wants, and right now what he wants is Shouto Fucking Todoroki.
“Fuck you.” Bakugou says as he stomps towards Todoroki.
“Bakugou, what are-“
Todoroki is cut off by Bakugou grabbing his shirt and forcefully pushes their mouths together. Todoroki gasps into the kiss, taken aback by the sudden act from Bakugou. But he does not push away, instead, he leads into the kiss, putting arms around Bakugou’s waist. It was not a gracious kiss, that is for sure, but it was something that needed to happen, it was something to show them that they are more than just rivals, more than just classmates and more than just friends.
Todoroki broke the kiss first, panting.
“So, are we like best friends?”
Bakugou just starts at him, mentally throwing daggers at him.
---
I hope this is ok, I did my best in like one night, which I should be studying for exams, but like who wants to do that am I right?
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