#we just wanted to watch the owl house dammit

[tsundere-selfship]

A funny group chat joke that got incredibly out of hand

[sallowsdiary]

Roses are Red,

Violets are Blue (are they though? Why call them violets if they're blue, they should be called Blues if they are the color blue *rolls eyes*)

Hey, I can't find the New Girl!

And I know she hangs out with you.

Where is she?!?!

No really? Where is the new girl? She said she wanted these Mellowsweets for some reason and I told her I would get them for some knuts in exchange but at this point with all the running around she's been making me do, I going to have to raise my price to a sickle instead. Do you know where she is? You are the fifth person I had to ask today and I'm at this point of creating a potion to make a niffler find her instead of shiny stuff. Everyone keeps pointing me to the wrong direction or I missed her by a minute!

Where is she?!?!

Or do you want to pay me a sickle and give this to her? Tell her that her errand girl friend got the goods. And please remind her that I'm not in Hufflepuff! Not my fault that the wash stained my Gryffindor clothes to a light orange-yellow color at the start of the year making people think I'm a badger and not a lion!

I'm also not a Slytherin despite the current green hair that I have. I was at the wrong place at the wrong time when a potion exploded and turned my hair green!

I refuse to buy new clothes and no potion is working yet to turn my hair back to a normal color.

Signed,

-the newest Hogwarts "Not a Hufflepuff or Slytherin" Courier who's saving up for a broom

P.S. I got a new job to save up some coin for a new broom if you're wondering why I'm doing this. There are some things too heavy for owls to carry. That's where I come in! 🫡

P.S.S Unfortunately someone else made a new bet when I went to deliver that journal of yours back and that bet won. So no won coin for me TuT

P.S.S.S I don't do deliveries to a certain Garreth Weasley 😵‍💫Learned it the hard way when I had to drop him something and he couldn't have waited for me to leave when I told him "WAIT" and turned both our hair a Slytherin green. You're going to have to owl him the old fashion way. Sorry!

P.S.S.S.S. Also, I told Brattleby that you sent me a message to tell him that you wanted to fight a certain Weasley and that he wanted to fight you as well. Don't worry, Weasley will be there at the end of this week. I'll make sure of it 😏. Just look for the other fellow with 🟢green🟢 hair. And if a certain 5th year girl is there as well watching...let's just say I invited her to see an incredible match with popcorn to enjoy the show with her girl friend, moi. Avenge me. 😏🍿💅 PSSSSS: Girl friend as in my female friend. Not girlfriend. I'm in no mood to fight you having her as a girlfriend. Great. Now you made me sound like a snake 🐍. I'm a lion dammit!!!🦁

First off, let’s address the important stuff—violets are blue, and yes, they probably should be called Blues. I’ll bring it up with whoever’s in charge of flower names. But onto the real issue here: the elusive New Girl.

I swear, she’s better at vanishing than a Disillusionment Charm. I can’t tell you exactly where she is at this very moment, but last I saw her, she was heading toward the Greenhouses, probably to gather more ingredients for one of her experiments. Or maybe she’s trying to blend in with the scenery—who knows with her?

But listen, I’ll do you a favor and take those Mellowsweets off your hands. I’ll make sure she gets them, and I’ll even throw in that sickle you’re looking for. Consider it a payment for your tireless efforts and a bonus for your green-haired troubles.

As for your mistaken house identity—well, it sounds like you’ve got quite the wardrobe dilemma on your hands. I promise not to confuse you with a Hufflepuff or a Slytherin, though I have to say, green hair does suit you in a certain mischievous light. If anything, it adds to your “lion undercover” vibe.

And don’t worry about Garreth—we all know how unpredictable he can be. I’ll avoid him like the plague, especially after hearing about your experience. No one needs to relive that particular green-haired nightmare.

Lastly, I’ll be sure to prepare for this duel with Weasley. Thanks for the heads-up—and for inviting the New Girl to watch. I’ll make sure to put on a show worth the sugar quills. And don’t worry, I got the message loud and clear: female friend, not girlfriend. I won’t be drawing any swords over that one. You’re safe from my wrath… for now.

—Sebastian

P.S. You might want to invest in a good potion book. Sounds like you’ve had more than your fair share of magical mishaps lately.

[iliveiloveiwrite]

Just The Way You Are// D.M.

Request: Hi can you do a draco x reader where they are in a relationship and her parents are like as**oles and they always bother her about her weight so one day she is with draco and makes a comment like “maybe i should stop eating so much” or something like that and Draco is like WHAT and tells her that she is beautiful and all that and he is like really worried Thanks!!

A/N: MY 100TH FIC!!! MY 100TH FIC FOR HP!!! Of course it has to be Draco!! I didn't think I would ever reach 100 fics as well as get over 1000 followers yet here I am. I am so thankful to all of you who have read everything but have also motivated me into continuing to write even when I doubt my own abilities (which is a lot). Thank you so much for requesting, lovely! I hope I have done your request justice! I enjoyed writing this, I ended up writing it all in one sitting. Please read the warnings before you read! And as always, I hope you enjoy!

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Fem!Reader

Warnings: food, weight issues, shitty parents, swearing (I think) BUT DRACO IS CUTE DAMMIT.

Word count: 2k

Every morning in the Great Hall, breakfast is served at seven am sharp. This gives the students enough time to eat, socialise and let their food settle before classes begin promptly at half past eight. It also gives the students time to read over any mail that should fall with the Owls upon their arrival at eight am.

As your family owl drops a letter inscribed with the familiar handwriting of your mother, you don’t know whether to scream in frustration or burn the letter without reading. You knew that it would be filled with her usual criticism rounded off with a few sweet lines about the renovation to the house or how your cousin was doing so well on her internship abroad.

You flip the letter in your hands a few times; wondering whether the Howler from your mother would be worth it once she never got a reply from you. However, you eventually decide that the Howler would not be worth it and that your mother’s vitriol is better off read in silence.

Rolling your eyes, you try not to let the letter affect you so much. Her words are always poisonous and toxic, but this time, she cuts you where it hurts.

“My dear, how on earth is the Malfoy boy supposed to stay with you if you continue to gain weight? I’ve enclosed a new diet regiment for you to follow – stick to it, this is not an option.”

You scrunch up the letter and the included diet regiment in your hands. Crunching them up until they resemble litter rather than the foul words scrawled onto parchment.

You had never felt you had issues with your weight; there wasn’t any need to necessarily – the meals at Hogwarts were scheduled and there was enough exercise done through the day in order to get to classes on time, and this was before the weekend walks to Hogsmeade or the ambles around the Black Lake with Draco.

You don’t feel like there should be an issue with your weight, but your mother’s words are venomous barbs that stick into your brain. Her words on replay in the forefront of your mind.

There was no real excuse for the way your mother harked on about appearances and reputations. Your family hailed from an ancient line of witches and wizards; even going so far as to state that your ancestors were among the very first to attend Hogwarts when the founders were teachers.

So for your mother, everything since then had to be perfect.

Perfect hair. Perfect dress. Perfect manners.

Perfect weight, apparently.

Any appetite you had before has now dissipated. It’s funny how three lines of a letter is enough to put one off their morning meal.

You felt like a rule change should be implemented at Hogwarts; no mail until the evening - that way students don’t have the time to sit and worry about the thoughts of their parents.

Pushing your plate away from you, you bring out your reading book from your bag. Flipping through the familiar pages, you find the dog-eared corner from where you rounded off last night before falling asleep.

It’s easy to lose yourself in the pages having read the story over a thousand times before, but the niggling voice in the back of your head that sounds suspiciously similar to your mothers has you reading the same paragraph over and over again.

A kiss being pressed to the top of your hand is the first greeting from Draco. The next is a quiet good morning as he pours himself a glass of pumpkin juice.

You smile at the blonde-haired teenager, looking up from your book, but the smile doesn’t quite reach your eyes.

“Love, is everything okay?” Draco asks; immediately spotting that something is off.

You shake your head, “It’s nothing to worry about, love. I just didn’t sleep very well last night.”

Draco chuckles; not entirely convinced but happy to wait until you come to him. “It’s because you didn’t stay with me last night.”

You roll your eyes with a grin, “I’ve stayed in your dorm the last three nights; it’s only a matter of time before someone says something.”

Draco shrugs; leaning over to peck your cheek, “Let them, I don’t care.”

“You will when we get caught out by Snape on a random inspection,” You comment with a light laugh.

Draco smiles broadly at the idea of the Head of Slytherin ever completing a random inspection of the dungeon. He grabs a slice of toast from the rack and reaches for the marmalade.

His eyes wander over the lack of food in front of you, “Already eaten?”

You nod, smirking, “And all alone as well since you take so long in the mornings.”

He laughs, “It takes time to look this good, darling.”

“Sure it does,” You comment, leaning in to peck him on the lips. He hums against your mouth happily, but all too soon, you pull away, “I’m off to the library before class, I want to get ahead on the History of Magic essay. I’ll see you later.”

You drop another kiss to Draco’s mouth before hoisting your bag onto your shoulder and departing from the Great Hall.

Draco shakes his head at your retreating figure; something about you was off, but he couldn’t place his finger on what. He wasn’t going to pester you as it would only make things worse, but he knew he had to address it before you lost yourself from overthinking.

Draco bites into his toast; already thinking of the ways he can talk to you.

----

Your days are always filled with little highlights; seeing the first flower bloom after a long winter or reading your favourite part of your book without being interrupted or it’s finding Draco waiting outside your classroom after every lesson of the day.

You find him waiting opposite the door to your class; leaning against the wall with his robes open, showing the white buttoned shirt underneath. His rebelliousness highlighted in the undone top button and untucked shirt. You shake your head as you make your way over to the teenager that made your heart stutter.

He grins, holding his elbow out to you, “Lunch, my love?”

“Lead the way.”

The Great Hall is loud upon your arrival. Students shouting, laughing, grabbing for food from the centre of the tables. It’s a ruckus, but it makes you smile as you take a seat across from Draco at the Slytherin table.

“Is that all you’re eating?” Draco asks with a frown at the sight of your plate.

You nod your head; your mother’s words from this morning making another round in your head, “I’m not overly hungry.”

The frown doesn’t leave Draco’s face, and through lunch, he glances between your face and the plate, wondering what’s changed for your appetite to have disappeared.

Draco walks you to your next class after the bell rings signalling the end of lunch.

He pauses outside the classroom, keeping a tight grip on your hand. His other hand reaches up to caress your cheek; a rare form of PDA from the Slytherin Prince who was more than happy to kiss and hold hands but would rarely show his feelings so openly.

“You’d tell me if something was wrong wouldn’t you?” He asks; concern alight in his eyes.

You hold his hand to your cheek; pressing a kiss to the palm, “I would.”

He nods silently. Kissing your forehead, Draco turns away, striding to his next class.

Guilt stirs within you like a lead balloon; weighing you down for the rest of the day. Even the ringing of the final bell of the day wasn’t enough to lift your mood.

Draco continues to meet you after every class; his arm always ready for you to slip yours through. But he’s quieter; more sombre as he leads your through the bustling corridors and staircases.

At the end of the day, he escorts you to the Great Hall. The level of noise quieter from lunch but still loud as students discuss their plans for the evening over the food laid out on the long, wooden tables.

Dinner is a feast by any standard, and Draco tucks right in, piling food onto his plate – ravenous after a day filled with exam preparation. You take your time with your meal; selecting more and more vegetables as you think back to the letter and diet regiment now burning a hole through your bag.

Draco sighs as he watches you pick at your food. He reaches over, checking your temperature with the back of his hand on your forehead, “Well you feel fine,” he murmurs, “Are you sure you’re okay? You’ve picked at your food all day, and you’ve become more distant as the day’s gone on.”

“I’ll talk to you about it in the common room,” You state.

“You will?”

Nodding, you promise,  “I will.”

Draco makes his way through the rest of the meal; drawing you into a conversation after conversation about how the day has been. When his plate is empty and yours has been pushed to one side, Draco stands from the bench. He takes one last drink of his pumpkin juice before holding his hand out to you.

The walk to the common room is quiet; you think over the letter in your bag, wondering about the reply you’re going to send back to your mother. One cross word from you and you wouldn’t be surprised if she, herself, showed up in Dumbledore’s office demanding punishment for your insolent words.

It was tiring, you realise, to be her daughter.

The Slytherin common room is silent when Draco leads you through the door; all students either still eating in the Great Hall or ambling about the castle. You settle on the black leather couch in front of the already lit fire; you hum at the warmth it gives off – holding your hands out to warm them through.

Once your hands are warm enough, you lean back into the couch. Feeling Draco’s eyes on you, you shift your head, facing him with a small smile.

Draco tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear, “What’s going on in that pretty little head?”

You sigh, opening your bag and pulling out the letter. Handing it to Draco, you say wryly, “Dear old mama wrote, that’s what.”

Draco scans over the letter; getting to the three lines that have played on your mind all day and have affected your eating habits so quickly.

Draco folds the letter carefully into the three; he folds it ever so neatly before ripping it to pieces in front of your eyes, leaning forward and throwing the tiny pieces into the fire.

“I hope you don’t believe a word she’s written.”

You shrug, fiddling with your fingers, “Maybe I should stop eating so much.”

Draco leaps up from the couch; spreading his arms wide, “There is absolutely nothing wrong with your weight – you do not need to lose, you do not need to gain. You are perfect the way you are. I love you to pieces, but darling, your mother is an awful person. What sort of person sends that to their child?”

He kneels on the ground in front of you, “I will love you no matter what. The sky could be green, and the clouds could be purple hedgehogs, but even that would not distract me from my love for you.”

He gestures to the pieces of parchment now turning to ash in the flames, “Everything about you is beautiful; from the top of your head to the tip of your toes – there isn’t anything about you I don’t adore. Reply to your mother if you must; tell her that you’ve let me read the letter and that I absolutely disagree with her words.”

Draco surges forward, kissing you soundly. He shifts slightly, beginning to press you into the couch, “I love you – just the way you are.”

******

General (HP) taglist: @chaotic-fae-queen @obsessedwithrandomthings @harrypotter289 @dreamer821 @kalimagik @heloisedaphnebrightmore @nebulablakemurphy @the-hufflefluffwriter @figlia--della--luna @bforbroadway @idont-knowrn @summer-writes @big-galaxy-chaos @black-lake-confessions @annasofiaearlobe @imboredandneedalife @levylovegood @mytreec @haphazardhufflepuff @teheharrypotter @chaoticgirl04 @accio-rogers @msmimimerton​ @izzytheninja​ @slytherinprincess03​

Draco Malfoy taglist: @the--queen-of-hell @obx-beach @obxmxybxnk @sycathorn-slush @dracomalfoyswifey

[tedturneriscrazy]

Okay, here we go, time to gather my rambly thoughts about Echoes of the Past!

Huh, from the trailer I figured this version of Eda was a lot younger.

More studious Luz, please. Also that doodle is so anime, I love it.

Lilith for Titan's sake put your glasses on

Why is Lulu and Hootcipher so good, tho? 😭 (yes, Luz, it is nice that they're friends)

Ooh, invisibility glyph! Em and Ed can never know about that one (though realistically they can probably already make things invisible considering their track)

"Don't ever do that again!" "Do that again!"

Also, King seems to have a shaky grasp on object permanence.

So Lilith's a history nerd, interesting...

That black eye really just came from the high five, huh? And yes, I am still stuck on that high five, it's so good. I'll need to find a gif of it at some point.

Let's not sleep on that roast from Lilith, though. You can tell Cissy has fun with lines like that.

Raving about tyrannical rule immediately followed by Luz cooing over King with belly rubs. Yep, this is The Owl House.

Jesus Christ, Lilith, you didn't need to be so savage

Luz's turn to be mom, I guess

"Hootrageous!" Dammit, now I want to see Hooty cosplay as Brave and the Bold Aquaman.

Oh hey, Hollow Knight and Piplup!

It doesn't seem like King should be able to grab the staves so casually, but eh.

You can tell Hooty has been waiting for a long time to be allowed to go somewhere. Also him detatching from the door is apparently as gross and horrifying as everyone was led to believe.

Hooty has no right to look so adorable in that little portable house, especially with the pulsating organs!

"Oh, no, not again!"

Okay what the hell is that bathtub thing, Eda?! You had that this whole time?!?!

Very convincing "aw," Lilith. 10/10.

This episode's gonna have some lore.

Hooty really just decided to be Lilith's bodyguard, love that for him.

Luz seems especially dedicated to indulging King this episode so far.

Hooty does have a point about the graffiti. It is quite nice.

I don't know why I keep being surprised by Lilith being cute, but I love it.

"With all the sugar I eat it better be!" More mounting evidence for @nikkydash 's moss mouth Luz theory.

I see Lulu and Hootcipher have reached the "sharing a single brain cell" stage of their friendship.

So apple blood really is just booze, huh? And they serve it to children in schools? Damn, the Demon Realm is hardcore.

Luz, no! You of all people should know not to split the party!

At least high fiving a dessicated corpse wasn't Luz's first instinct?

To quote Strong Bad: "Gross! I hate you! Gross! Gross! I hate you!"

I do love Eda's potion bandoleer. Very reminiscent of my artificer in D&D.

And nice to see Lilith's big sister instinct.

Backstory time!

Am I the only one who got film noir vibes from Eda's narration?

Boy, that curse does a number in the span of eight years, huh?

BABY KING HHEIKWKWJWHWG

So that's what happened to his horn!

Holy shit that's Dana voicing baby King, isn't it?!

I know Eda lied to King, but her telling the stories to King looks so cute.

Welp, that's heartbreaking.

Also, Alex Hirsch is a good voice actor, who knew? /s

"Is this what regret feels like? I HATE IT!" Future meme material.

Oh hi, guilty Luz. Haven't seen you in...*checks watch* five minutes.

King is so...shattered. 💔 (Bravo, Alex)

"Special delivery! P A I N"

I love everything about Hooty bazooka...Hootzooka!

Putting those invisibility glyphs to work. Very nice.

(Oh god I just realized that fanfic writers have been given a dangerous tool)

Hmm, maybe those "delusions of grandeur" weren't so delusional, after all...

Okay, creepy moon flesh thing, I hate you less now.

Ooh, future adventure hook!

Everyone looks so done with Hooty about that.

So that thing's name is Jean-Luc, huh. Bet I won't see any TNG references in the fandom. Nope. Not at all.

"All out of kisses." Amity will be so disappointed...

So. Many. Questions.

Final thing to note: this means King is only 8-9 years old, which means that younger sibling energy he gives off with Luz is justified.

Well, that was a great episode! Emotions and lore galore! I'm eager to meet Mama Clawthorne next week! Then again, considering what people have speculated about her, maybe I shouldn't be?

At any rate, I'll be chiming in once again next week!

[elfboyeros]

The Importance of The Owl House {A Thesis (?) on Good LGBTQIA+ Representation in Media}

I don't think I have to talk the lot of you all on Tumblr that The Owl House has good LGBTQIA+ representation, this is a microblogging website for ✨the gays✨ but I have thoughts on the show and its representation, especially because this is "children's show" on the Disney Channel!

The Owl House came out in 202O and was created by the lovely Dana Terrace, who as I understand it worked on beloved Gravity Falls (2012, Alex Hirsch) back in the day, {*Gently Holds* THANK YOU DANA TERRACE, MY BELOVED} and is, as Wikipedia describes it, a Fantasy Horror Comedy.

The show is great! It ticks all the boxes for me, chief, which also means it has good LGBTQIA+ representation! As an Asexual and Nonbinary person, I feel seen!

And yes, other shows have the representation I am looking for. She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018) have queer representation thanks to Noelle Stevenson, and no matter how to feel about Steven Universe (2013) Rebecca Sugar moved a mountain in queer representation, so shows that wanted to include queer topics could thrive in a cable space! Although they don't do it like The Owl House!

First off, She-ra and the Princesses of Power is on Netflix, and despite the fact that She-ra target audience is children, a stream serves like Netflix can and does get away with "walking the line," plus beside a few references to two women being in a relationship and queer undertones, most of the queer representation happened in the final season.

Secondly, it is public knowledge that Rebecca Sugar at to twist the truth about what Steven Universe was about so Cartoon Network would consider putting it on the air, and dispute fighting for a lesbian wedding later in the series run, language like wife, and girlfriend are never use when talking about queer characters.

Compared to The Owl House, Danna Terrace was open and honest with those at Disney that Luz, The show's main character, would be Bisexual!

“In [development] I was very open about my intention to put queer kids in the main cast. I’m a horrible liar so sneaking it in would’ve been hard,” Terrace wrote. “When we were greenlit I was told by certain Disney leadership that I could not represent any form of bi or gay relationship on the channel.” (Variety) “I’m bi! I want to write a bi character, dammit!” Terrace tweeted. “Luckily my stubbornness paid off and now I am very supported by current Disney leadership.”

To add recent episodes have not to beat around the bush and showed the term "girlfriend" to reference the relationship that has now form between Luz and Amity!

THIS IS A SHOW ON THE DISNEY CHANNEL AND HAS BEEN MAKING HISTORY!

Alex Hirsch had to tell someone that works on Gravity Falls that they couldn't add an old lesbian couple in a few frames because Disney would not approve!

The language and the force are important for that watching! The young queer kids that are consuming the media and the cishet adults that are having to watch it alongside their children. Using the term Girlfriends with "extreme" force like in "Eclipse Lake" shows that these two young female-presenting characters are not "just friends". The use of Them/they pronouns in "Eda's Requiem" and other episodes not only refer to the character of Raine Whispers and other characters that we don't know the identity of, normalize the use of they/them pronouns to refer to a single person!

The Owl House is making history thanks to Dana Terrance's "studdorness", the queer fans that are starved for quality reperestation, and the progressing society that is allowing it to say on the air instead of setting it on fire because it is "abnormal".

Granted there are still people out there that wish The Owl House would not be a piece of Queer media, and are trying to do everything to kill it on sight, although let's enjoy the fact that we have made this far in the world of media and we have a beautiful show with amazing resperantation for LGBTQIA+ individuals!

-Eros/Cupid!

[incorrectlumityquotes]

FULL REVIEWS: “Enchanting Grom Fright”

The hype for this episode was unreal. We got the crew telling us that we weren’t ready on social media. It was a madhouse. To think that the little ship that could would have this big a leap in canon is unreal. Let’s just get to it.

The cold open starts with Luz trying to find more glyphs in her off time. I thinks it really shows her development so far. Now she’s willing to do the work to figure out her kind of magic, as oppose to say episode two where she just wanted to be great because she was “chosen.”

“My glyph skills are blossoming”

But then reality ensues...

Using the portal to let the wifi signal into The Owl House is not the dumbest reason I’ve heard to open an interdimensional portal between worlds but it is one of the most mundane. SOMEHOW, Luz can still receive texts from her mom FROM ANOTHER WORLD. Not that it makes too much of a difference since Luz barely answers them. 

As much fun as it is to focus on the magic and the shipping and the friendship and the curse, Luz still knows that she’s still lying to her mom. The guilt is there, but luckily being a main character keeps her too busy to think about it.

“Luz, time to fill that darling head of yours with...huuh huuh huuh HAKKK, mmm, mmm, mmh, delicious knowledge.”

Never change, Hooty.

It’s that time of year again that Luz doesn’t know about yet, Grom: The Boiling Isles’ weird version of prom. Every fantasy world has one. 

*hiss*

Amity bumps into Luz, and I know this is going to sound weird, but I really like Amity’s “Watch it, nitwit.” Amity’s character has changed and developed from our perspective which is the perspective of Luz and The Owl House fam. But she’s not a completely different character. Amity still has a bit of a temper and gets agitated easily. It makes sense to me and I’m glad I haven’t found anyone be like “Hey if Amity is nicer, why did she get mad when she bumped into someone?” 

Amity is nicer to Luz and co. because she’s gotten to know Luz and co. You don’t treat everyone in your life the same. Amity is one of those people that you need to defrost with first. Belief is backed up by experience and so are people’s personas. (Not that persona. I’m being serious here.) Because of Amity’s experiences, she’s believed that in order to survive she has to put people at arm’s length, then when she gets to know you, she’ll decide if she wants to let you in or not. So I guess that means that based on her interactions with Luz, Amity has decided...

You know what? I’ll save that for my Lumity meta.

The popular theory is that Amity was going to put her note in Luz’s locker, hence why she bumped into them. But actually seeing Luz and being announced as grom queen probably made her lose her nerve.

“Embrace your dreams...”

Amity is announced to be this year’s grom queen. Luz is happy for her before Amity runs in shock and embarrassment. Okay.

Luz discovers the gym’s weapons cache (not a thing I thought I would ever type) and Amity explains grom. Since Luz is from the human world and all that.

Grom is a monster that lives under the school and needs to be defeated every year so it doesn’t invade the town. It’s a classic shape-shifting fear monster. Odd are I have (and so have you) at least seen three or four of these in our lives already. Amity doesn’t want to show the entire school her greatest fear, especially since she already knows what it is. Luz suggest talking to Bump and Amity says she’ll try.

Another scene of Eda and King laughing and mocking Luz. Because I liked it so much the first time.

Eda gets dressed up herself because she’s volunteered to chaperone grom. Luz tells her that Amity is grom queen but wishes that she could take her place. We get...you know and Luz walks off. 

“I think we should kiss to ease the tension.”

Luz randomly meets up with Amity in the woods because I guess Amity had the same idea to take a walk to clear her head. Whatever. Amity tells Luz that Bump wasn’t going to change his mind unless Amity found a replacement. Luz volunteers because...she’s Luz, friend to all.

Except maybe that spider.

Top 10 Anime Betrayals

The Blight Siblings try to help Luz train against grom only for Eda to find out about their little plan. Here’s where we find out why Eda volunteered to chaperone a Hexside event even though she hates that place:

“What’s the fun in watching a kid get eaten by a monster if it’s my kid?”

That’s hilarious. To me. 

Luz and Amity have a moment before Luz’s debut and Amity thanks Luz for everything she’s done. They have more adorable banter before Luz takes the stage. 

“Wish me luck.”

“Luck.”

I’m guessing that’s not an expression in The Boiling Isles.

Luz faces Grom and it seems to be going better than everyone predicted until...you know

“Mija, this would be such a good shot for the trailer.”

Yup, we all predicted this. Luz’s greatest fear is her mom finding out that she’s been lying to her. Luz panics and takes off with Eda and Amity to chase after her.

Eda comes in for the save when Amity bursts in the scene saying “Boy let me tell you what.” She doesn’t really I just like saying that. You know, in my head. I mean, if you heard the way I was saying it out loud you’d probably think it was funny too but you know...text.

Grom gets a hold of Amity and transforms into her greatest fear. And we see why Amity didn’t want to face Grom in front of the whole school. She didn’t want everyone to see that Amity’s fear is very...emotional. Not physical. She’s not afraid of a giant spider or anything. It’s a little closer to the heart.

Amity clutching at her dress like a little kid is both the cutest and the saddest thing. This fear of hers is so bad it makes this fourteen year old feel like she’s four. I’m so sure she was about to cry right there. Or maybe that’s me. Could be both.

Luz picks up the note and discovers that Amity was trying to ask somebody out before she was announced as grom queen. Amity was afraid of being rejected. Luz tries to ease her fears by asking her out to grom. 

Trying seeing it from Luz’s point of view. She has no idea who Amity wants to ask out. Luz doesn’t even consider that it could be her because again, belief is backed by experience. Luz was considered a weirdo with no friends in the human world. She even said earlier in the episode that she got kicked out of her last school dance for dressing like an otter. Luz has no reason to believe that someone would like her romantically. She would like to. It is a fantasy of hers, but her experience tells her that other people don’t see her that way so she doesn’t consider that Amity wanted to ask Luz out.

I’ll save the rest for another blog post, although I did talk about this last year too.

But since Amity did want to ask Luz out and Luz asked her out instead, Amity’s fears are eased. Grom does what every fear monster does when their target overcomes their fears and says “Screw it, I’m just going to kick your ass!”

And then this happens:

As a Star vs the Forces of Evil fan, let me just say this is our Blood Moon Ball moment. The moment that the show tells the audience in John Oliver’s voice, “Yup this is the ship we’re doing so strap in folks.”

Luz and Amity work together to combine magic to take down Grom. It also helps that they eased each others’ fears. Luz can’t think about her mom if she’s focused on helping Amity. 

Luz and Amity defeat Grom in a blaze of glory. Luz being Luz, decides to ask Amity who she wanted to ask out just to see if she would tell you. Amity brushes it off.

“It doesn’t matter. After all, I already got to dance with the girl I like.”

Everyone celebrates but when Luz gets home she’s more tired than anything.

Maybe it was Grom, but Luz decides to give her mom a real answer. It’s been tough but it’s also been fun. There are good and bad days. Sometimes she feels like she doesn’t belong. But she has friends. They care about her, she cares about them, and that’s more than enough reason to stay. 

THEN THIS SHIT HAPPENS!

Yeah, the Meteora moment in Star vs the Forces of Evil. The moment where the show went “Never mind that shit. Here comes a complete change in the status quo.” 

Someone or something is sending Luz’s mom letters. It’s Luz’s handwriting, but it’s clearly not Luz since she can’t spell her name right. Season one already finished and we still have no idea what this is. 

I was all happy a second ago. Now I’m nervous as all hell. It’s a madhouse I tells ya. A madhouse!

FINAL SCORE: 5 - LOVED IT!

Wow. Just wow. This episode had everything. Jokes, plot, romance, character development, cameos, dancing, girls, MOM(?), crashing on your couch because technically I’m homeless.

I shipped Lumity before this, but this was the episode that told me that yes it was going to happen. We’re all in. 

But it’s not perfect.

Yeah, did any of you noticed that I didn’t even mention the B-plot? I’m going to be honest. The reason is...

I hate it.

I hate the B-plot so much that I skip it every time I watch this episode. I still don’t think Gus is that funny or interesting. Hell, Skara’s mini plot with her date and/or boyfriend was funnier.

But everything else about the episode more than outshines the B-plot so I still give it a five.

Next time we finish up the lumity trilogy next time.

Dammit I said next time twice.

[devildom-tyrant]

Hello! I'm up way too early so I thought why not. Would you mind writing something where Mammon, Beel, and Satan comfort MC after a nightmare (maybe even going to bed with them to help them sleep better)? Thanks in advance!

You jolted awake in a cold sweat, your heart pounding.  Placing a hand on your chest in an effort to calm it, you take several deep breaths, trying to shake the remnants of your nightmare.  You couldn’t remember the exact details, but the feeling, the fear you’d felt had been so real.  You’d been having nightmares quite frequently over the past few weeks, ever since...

(There’s laughter ringing in your ears, and a voice calling your name.)

Shaking your head, you throw back the covers and get out of bed.  Despite how absolutely tired you are, there’s no way you’re going to be able to sleep now.  A part of you is hesitant to ask for comfort over this -- you’re afraid they’ll think you’re childish or meek, but...

Dammit, you just want one night of decent rest.

Mammon

You whip out your DDD and send Mammon a text. 

Hey, you up?

There’s been plenty of times that he’s texted you, asking the same exact thing.  If you ever respond to it, even to tell him you’re in bed, he still comes over and barges into your room for a movie marathon.

Mammon responds almost immediately.  Yeah, but why’re YOU up?  I thought ya went to bed hours ago.

Should you be honest?  Or play it off?  Your thumb hovers over the keyboard.

 I had a nightmare, so now I’m wide awake.  

Wanna come watch something?

He doesn’t respond, but the check mark lets you know he read it.  Less than a minute later, there’s a knock at your door, and then Mammon enters.  He takes one look at you and cocks an eyebrow.  “Wide awake, huh?”  He scoffs.  “Hardly.  Just look at ya!  You look tired as hell.”

“Well, I mean... look at where I am,” you quip with a small smile, and he chuckles.  

“Ha.  C’mon, let’s get you back in bed.  In ya go!”  Mammon ushers you into the bed, and unsurprisingly, climbs in with you.  He’s quiet for a moment, waiting for you to settle underneath the covers with your head on your pillow.  He isn’t lying down completely; his back is propped against the pillows, but he’s shoved his legs under the blankets with you.  

“... You’ve been lookin’ tired lately.  Has this been happenin’ a lot?”

“Yeah...”  Your voice trails.  

“Is it because of...?”

You nod, and Mammon sucks in a breath, before opening his arms and shimmying further down.  “Okay, c’mere.  You obviously need someone to chase those nightmares away, so I’ll hold onto ya.  You’ll feel so safe that no nightmare’s going to even THINK about happenin’!”

You can’t help but smile, shifting so you’re in his arms, with your head pillowed on his chest.  You can hear his heart hammering beneath your ear, but despite his nerves, you do feel incredibly safe.  You always do whenever he’s around.  He’s so warm, too.  Your eyes are already beginning to get heavy.  

“Thanks Mammon...”

“Hey, you can always count on THE Mammon.”

You’re too tired to notice that his arms are shaking.

Beel

You text Beel a simple Are you up?, but you can hear a notification alert sound from the other side of your door.  Curious, you open it and cross the hall to find Beel standing in front of the open refrigerator, his DDD in hand.  He turns as he hears your approach, blinking.

“I was just texting you that I was getting a 4AM snack.  Why’re you awake?”

You shrug, forcing a smile.  “Couldn’t sleep.”

He frowns slightly.  “You look tired, though.  Are you hungry?”

“I’m okay.  I just...”  You’re getting embarrassed now, but you shouldn’t, not with Beel.  After all, he told you about his nightmares when you shared a room with him.  “A nightmare woke me up, and I can’t get back to sleep.”

“Ah.”  He nods once, and then shuts the fridge door.  “Want me to help you, like you did me?  You could sleep in my room if you want.”

You hesitate, and he notices, but doesn’t point it out.  “Could we sleep in my room?”

“Sure.”

Beel follows you back to your room and starts to kneel beside your bed -- but you tug on his arm before you lose your nerve, letting him know that you’d rather him be on your bed.  Wordlessly, he assents and climbs in beside you, though there’s a light flush to his cheeks.   He laces his fingers with yours, just like he did that night that he slept so close, but you decide to be bold.  You turn around, facing away from him, and using your joined hands, you pull his arm around you so he’s spooning you.  He doesn’t protest, thankfully; on the contrary, after a moment, he pulls you closer, tucking you beneath his chin.  

“Wanna talk about it?” 

You shake your head once, already feeling better with Beel’s strong arms holding you.  “I’m okay.”

You start to drift off, but you feel Beel squeeze your hand, turning his face so his mouth rests against your hair.  

On the cusp of sleep, you think you hear him murmur, “He didn’t mean to... I’m sorry.”

Satan

You’re not sure if Satan is awake, but thankfully, most of the brothers seem to be night owls.  Are you awake?

A few seconds later, your DDD lights up.  Yes, I am.  The better question is, what are you doing awake at this hour?

Trouble sleeping.  Wanna go for a walk or something?

He’s asked you to go for a moonlit walk in the middle of the night before, so it doesn’t seem like that far-fetched of a request.   However, he’s not biting.  Why can’t you sleep?

Do you dare admit to Satan that you’re awake because of a nightmare?

You choose to deflect.  Wanna watch some more of that drama from the other night?

He reads your text but doesn’t reply, and you find yourself standing in the middle of your room, trying to decide what to do next.  You could stay up, watching TV by yourself.  Or maybe you could text one of the others and see if they’re up?  

Your door suddenly opens, and Satan pokes his head in.  

“You should be sleeping.”  He enters your room, closing the door behind him, and focuses on your face.  “You look exhausted.”

“Sorry.  Yeah, you’re right.  I just...”

His expression softens.  “Had a nightmare?”

Your face flushes.  “It’s that obvious?”

“A little.  Humans are prone to them, aren’t they?  And you do seem to get spooked by scary stories, which is rather hilarious considering you’re not scared of living with a house full of the most powerful demons in Devildom.”

His smile is teasing as he sits on the edge of your bed, and you follow suit.  “I’m not having nightmares over scary stories.”  The statement is issued in a pout.  Horror movies in Devildom are a little more... uh, graphic and horrible than you expected, but they haven’t given you nightmares -- yet.    

“Well, if it’s not that... then it must just be an excuse to get me in your bedroom alone, right?”  He turns toward you, suddenly leaning in.  While his voice is serious, he’s wearing the same teasing smile.  “If you’re looking for something to occupy your night, I can think of quite a few things we could do.”

Your face flushes bright.  As tired as you are, you can’t even begin to take him up on that offer -- or properly flirt back.  So, you just play it off by quirking an eyebrow.  “Oh yeah?  Like playing cards?”

You scoot back on the bed so you can lie down on your pillow.  Luckily, Satan doesn’t leave, he just turns to stretch his legs out on your bed, still sitting up. 

“You wouldn’t be able to keep your eyes open to play me.  And winning that easily wouldn’t be fun.”

Yawning, you shrug, trying to fight sleep.  With Satan here, you feel more relaxed.  He’s never laid in your bed before, but you don’t feel as nervous as you thought you would.  As much as he likes to talk, you know he’s not going to try to take advantage of the situation, not with you so out of it.  

Satan yawns next, and then shakes his head.  “Your exhaustion is contagious.”

“Then sleep with me, Satan,” your voice is groggy, but you let the request slip out.

Satan pauses, frowning slightly.  “If only that sentence was spoken with a different tone of voice.”  You grin, patting the pillow beside you, and he sighs, acquiescing.  “All right, but if I’m going to sleep with you, we’re going to do it right.”

He gets beneath the covers with you and pulls you onto his chest, both of his arms wound around you.  Instantly, you feel so much more at ease -- even if you can feel the heat radiating from his cheeks.  For someone with so much confidence when you’re alone, he’s surprisingly easy to fluster.  You wrap an arm around his torso, hugging him close, and then hook one leg over his.

“You’ll be the death of me,” he mutters under his breath, and you mumble back a reply that’s halfway incoherent.

As you drift off, you feel something press against the top of your head, and you smile.    

[sarahwroteathing]

English 284 (4)

Word Count: 3612

Summary: You and Steve break off from the group to get to know each other better and clear the air.

Warnings: Language and innuendo (romance novels)

A/N: Woo! I did it! I’m going to do my best to post something at least every 2 weeks. I miss writing, and I miss you guys! I’ve got new daily hobby goals for myself, so hopefully that’ll help me get back into the swing of things. Hope you enjoy this chapter!

Steve’s Perspective

Catch up here!

In the end, extricating yourself from the group was relatively painless. Steve waited by the door while you returned to the table, passing the glass of water to a grateful Sam and retrieving your coat and bag. 

“Bailing on your own party?” Tony questioned as you shrugged into your coat.

“While I’m sure you’ll all miss my dazzling personality, I’m starting to get a headache, and it’s a bit too loud in here. Steve offered to walk me home.”

Sam choked on his water, but you kept your eyes on Tony as he studied you with a small frown.

“Alright, kiddo. Feel better. Text me when you’re home safe?”

“Kiddo,” you repeated with a snort, ruffling his hair as you turned to leave.

Steve was tapping idly at his phone when you joined him at the exit. He flashed you a hesitant smile, shoving his phone back into his pocket as he pushed the door open and followed you outside. 

The temperature had definitely dropped since you arrived earlier that evening, and you snuggled deeper into your jacket before turning expectant eyes on Steve. 

“So, where are we headed?”

“Not a fan of surprises?”

The words were playful, but the tone was unmistakably nervous. Your stomach flipped, an unfortunate decision made for you by the tension lingering in broad shoulders and the hesitancy in a smile that should have glowed. 

“I’ll allow it,” you said carefully. “On one condition. Can we get an uncomfortable conversation out of the way while we walk? So we can enjoy the rest of our night?” 

“Rip it off like a bandaid, huh?” he asked, and though his face was slightly scrunched, he didn’t seem inclined to fight you on it. 

“Pretty soon we’ll be expected to maintain good professional and personal standing with each other for a full five months,” you reminded him. “Honest and direct seems like the necessary way to go here.” 

“You’re right,” Steve said quietly, clearing his throat and scuffing his shoe against the sidewalk. “Walking and talking it is. You want to start?” 

He gestured to the right, and you fell into step beside him, taking a moment to organize your thoughts and hoping you’d have enough time to get past the cringiest bits before reaching your mystery destination. 

“Okay, well,” you pulled in a deep breath. “I’ll start by saying that even with my limited exposure, you seem like a really amazing - Are you cringing already?” you broke off with a laugh. 

Steve’s features were in fact twisted into a definitive wince, but he had the decency to look apologetic about it.

“Sorry! It just sounds like a polite rejection, and I’m not even sure what you’re rejecting.” 

“Yeah, alright, I hear it. Let me try again,” you said with a self-deprecating smile. 

You took a moment to reorganize your thoughts.

“We haven’t spent much time together so far, but what time we’ve had has been split between a… A sweet and fun Steve and someone more... tensed up. And after seeing you in there when Bucky was talking about the contract, I just feel like it might be something we need to talk about.” 

You peeked over at him, butterflies beginning to flutter to life in your stomach as you watched him bite nervously at his lip.

“I mean, I know that story sucked, but it seems like there’s maybe more going on with you,” you ventured hesitantly. 

“Okay, let me...” Steve rubbed at the back of his neck, releasing a sigh and looking for all the world like he was considering throwing himself through a storefront window to avoid this conversation. 

“I- I don’t really do… romance. And relationships,” Steve forced out, immediately looking thoroughly disgusted with himself in a way that made you want to laugh.

You locked it down, fighting to keep a neutral expression. Laughing now could easily be misconstrued as mocking and make him less inclined to open up to you. That wasn’t something you wanted to risk. 

“That’s not - I don’t do the casual thing either. I don’t do anything in that… arena,” he corrected. 

His exasperation was unspeakably cute. Punk.

He glanced uncertainly in your direction, and you gave a nod of encouragement. 

“Right… Um. Well, I’ve always had my reasons I guess, but by this point it’s just not really something I think about. Not in a way that applies to me, anyway. But then Bruce was texting me about helping out his friend in the English Department, and Bucky was instantly convinced that we’d… Well, you know. And he and Sam have just been… sprinting with it ever since.” Steve heaved a sigh, reaching up to fidget with his hair. “It’s kind of got me mixed up, I guess. I know it’s stupid, but -”

“It’s not stupid,” you interrupted.

Steve’s lips curled into an unconvinced frown, and you reached for his sleeve, guiding him to a stop.

“It’s not stupid,” you repeated. “You trust them, and you know they care about you. If they talk something up enough, of course you’re going to consider it. It would be weird if you didn’t.” 

“Well, I’m not exactly known for being easy to convince. So if it’s not stupid, it’s definitely troubling.”

My god, was that the beginnings of a pout you were seeing?

You giggled, reaching for his arm again to set you both back on course. He fell into step beside you again, leveling a thoroughly unimpressed look at his shoes. 

“Maybe you wanted to be convinced this time,” you tried. 

“Oh, yeah. Developing a crush on someone you’re not allowed to date and constantly being reminded of the horrifying precedent does sound like a good time,” Steve mumbled.

This time your stop was involuntary, a function of stumbling over your own feet in embarrassing surprise. Steve caught your hand, his other resting momentarily at your waist to stabilize you before falling away just as quickly. 

“Sorry,” he said, but you were still clutching his hand, heart racing from your near fall, face growing warm under his gaze.

“You don’t have to apologize, “ you said breathlessly. “I just - So, they did convince you then?” 

He cleared his throat, and you let each other go, shuffling to the side for a moment to make room for a tipsy group passing in the opposite direction. You reclaimed the sidewalk once they were behind you, taking a breath and already deeply regretting your question as you traveled several steps in silence. Who just asked people if they had a crush on them. Tony, probably, but certainly not you. 

“They introduced the idea,” Steve corrected quietly, still looking straight ahead of him when you chanced a peek in his direction. “But you’re the one who convinced me.” 

Your heart gave a hop, skip, and a jump in your chest, and it was your turn to bite your lip anxiously. Nobody this cute was allowed to have a crush on you. Illegal, dammit. 

And once you got around to signing that contract, it almost would be. 

“Well, my condolences,” you struggled out. “But you started it.” 

You forced yourself to meet Steve’s eyes when he glanced over at you in surprise.

“Did I?”

“Shut up,” you laughed, knocking your shoulder into him. “You know you’re cute.” 

“I… Well, maybe a little.” 

You shook your head, smiling at the tiny, pleased grin on his face and walking another few paces in silence.

“Right. So air cleared, yeah?” you asked. “We’ve established your feelings aren’t stupid. They’re… y’know.  Matched. But romance is off the table, so you don’t have to worry about that. Can we be friends now? No more cold, tense Steve?”

You reached your hand into the space between you, reveling in the gentle smile the gesture earned you as Steve gave it a definitive shake.

“We can be friends.” 

---------------

Several minutes later, Steve reached across you, pulling open a shop door and gesturing inside with a gallant sweep of his arm. The sign read Insomniac Booksellers, punctuated with a charming owl logo.

You hurried in with a delighted smile.

“Oh, you are so going to regret this decision. Did you really just bring an English professor to a bookstore?”

“You said Alex ruined your favorite one, so I thought I’d offer a replacement. This place is open 5 pm to 7 am. It’s usually pretty quiet. And the little cafe in the back is almost suspiciously good,” he said, lowering his voice to avoid disrupting the peaceful atmosphere. 

The wood floors creaked quietly beneath your feet as you stepped further into the store. Dark wood shelves dominated the space, lining the walls and nearly reaching the ceiling, a scant two feet of the deep green painted walls exposed above them. To your left, a large desk took the place of a checkout counter, an employee reclining in a puffy leather chair behind it, her feet propped on the edge as she read a battered sci-fi novel. She looked up long enough to offer a welcoming smile and wave before returning to her book. 

More shelves stood in sets of three in the center of the store, narrow aisles between each affording you glimpses of small sitting areas tucked among the stacks, clusters of plush mismatched chairs positioned around coffee tables and charging stations. The wider center aisle led straight back to a small coffee counter, where another employee spun absently on a stool while writing in a notebook. 

“Steve,” you said with a smile. “I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.” 

“Up to your standards, then?” he asked, holding his hands up in surrender when you shot him an incredulous look. “Just checking.” 

He trailed after you as you did a quick circuit, familiarizing yourself with the way the shelves were organized before heading with purposeful strides to the shelves that housed plays. You ran your finger across the spines until you found what you needed and plucked it off the shelf to offer to Steve.

No Fear Shakespeare: Hamlet. 

“Wow, no faith in me, huh?” he asked with a grin. 

“I know you’re capable of picking up the language, but until then, it’s important you can check what’s going on when you get confused. Or encounter a page-long sentence,” you explained, fighting back the urge to roll your eyes at his knowing smile. “Obviously try the original language side first, but I’ve got no problem with you checking the modern translation when you need to. I’m not an asshole.” 

“Alright,” Steve agreed, tucking the book under his arm and reaching for his phone. “I actually need to get the rest of the books on the list too if you want to point out your favorite editions. I know that matters to people like you.”

“People like me?” you repeated, pressing your hand to your chest as if deeply offended. 

Steve rolled his eyes and handed you his phone, the screen displaying a note page listing the books from your syllabus. 

“You’re not the only English professor I’ve met, you know.” 

“Would my predecessor happen to be Sue of the infamous lemon bars?” You moved efficiently through the store, snagging the books from the list and adding them to a growing stack in Steve’s arms. 

“Maybe.”

“Her shortbread is divine too. If she ever offers you any, take it and treasure it,” you advised. 

As you placed the last book on the stack, you gave it a final little pat. 

“Right. These are on me.” 

“Uh, no. I was going to buy them anyway. You just saved me a trip,” Steve protested. 

“Well, I’m at least paying for this one,” you said, wiggling the No Fear Shakespeare out from under his arm. He huffed in annoyance but couldn’t stop you without dropping the rest of his books. 

“And something fun!” you added. “Do you read for fun?”

“I - yes, but I didn’t bring you here to buy me presents.”

“Bringing me here was a gift. I’m trying to reciprocate. What kind of books do you like?”

Steve blinked at you, pressing his lips into a firm line, a childish gesture of refusal that made you laugh.

“The silent treatment? That’s how you’re gonna play it? Alright, then I’ll have to guess.” You eyed him carefully, trying to keep the grin off your face. “I’m feeling old lady romance. Watercolor abs and billowy shirts,” you said decisively. 

“Damn. How did you know?”

Not willing to be the victim of a called bluff, you raised your eyebrows in challenge, making a beeline towards the romance shelves. 

“Oh, God. No! Wait!” 

You bit hard on your bottom lip, trying to contain a laugh as you heard Steve fumbling to follow after you, no hands free to halt your progress. 

“There’s nothing to be ashamed of, Steven. My friend Wanda and I bought each other some last Valentine’s Day and read them together. Of course she chose hers on the internet, not realizing that she was handing me a 900 page soap operas straight from the 80’s. But we meet every Saturday to talk about them, and let me tell you, that is some outstanding entertainment.” 

“You’re really gonna do this to me?” he sighed.

You pulled a book from the shelf, holding it up with a cheshire grin. 

“Look at that. Equal opportunity eye candy. We love to see it.” 

“St- ” He swallowed his protest in favor of dropping his books into a nearby chair and snatching the book from your hand, hiding the cover against his chest. 

“Really enthusiastic about it, huh? Don’t worry, I’ll buy it for you,” you giggled. 

“I’ll buy you a worse one,” he threatened. 

“Are you sure you’re prepared to undergo the research that threat would require?” you asked, and despite the glare he was leveling at you, there was amusement sparkling in those eyes. 

“Try me.” 

“Well then, Steve Rogers, it is my honor to introduce you to the time-honored game of Find the Phallus. Choose your book.”

The muscle in his jaw twitched, but his eyes betrayed nothing, staying fixed on yours as he reached blindly toward the shelf and pulled a book free. He set the other down on the chair beside him.

“Going with blind luck, huh? Bold choice. Works okay for Wanda, though.” You turned toward the shelves, eyes flicking over the titles before choosing one that sounded promising. 

“Rules?” Steve asked, rolling his shoulders as if preparing for a fight.

“On the count of three, we both open our books. First to find a sex scene wins.” 

“Call it.” 

You initiated the count through a smile, shifting into your game face as you rifled quickly through your book, skimming a few sentences from each page before moving on. Enemies to lovers, pirates vs navy. Classic. Your eyes caught on a particularly colorful euphemism, but as you opened your mouth to claim victory, Steve’s voice rang out.

“Got it! Page 15. They’re really not much for conversation apparently.”

“I literally just found one. This is a conspiracy,” You groaned, moving to peek at the page he was displaying for you. “Damn. ‘Pulsing manhood’ definitely earns you some bonus points.” 

Steve snorted, snapping the book closed and returning it to its space on the shelf with an overplayed grimace. 

“You’re not allowed to hate a game you just won,” you laughed. 

“Beginner's luck I didn’t particularly want. I think I’m scarred for life. This game was Tony’s idea, wasn’t it?”

“Yep. Although Bruce is actually the current champion. He’s very proud.”

“I’m sure he is,” Steve laughed sarcastically, taking the book from your hands and skimming the back of it. “This sounds terrible. I’m buying it for you.”

You smiled, taking an identical copy for Wanda as well as the romance novel Steve had placed with the reading list books. 

“Deal. If you put it in the middle of the stack, the cashier will already be halfway through small talk by the time she gets to it and therefore unable to comment.”

Steve smiled back, rearranging the order of his books accordingly as he gathered them back up into his arms. 

“Thanks for the advice. Are you ready to go, then? If we leave now, we should have time for stop number two.”

You nodded eagerly, following him to the front and keeping up a cheerful conversation with the cashier through both transactions. 

Once outside, Steve guided you one street over and several blocks back the way you had come, stopping before a tiny shop with a vibrant awning displaying a shop name in a language and alphabet you could not decipher. You looked to Steve in silent question, but he only smiled, pulling the door open for you and letting the flood of warm cookie-scented air answer for him. 

The inside was stark white - walls, floors, lights, everything but the tiny chairs and the shelves behind the counter, which were a vibrant lime green. The girl behind the counter seemed to recognize Steve, smiling widely before turning to prepare something. 

“Come here often, do you?” you asked jokingly.

“Once you taste their culinary masterpiece, you will understand.”

By the time you reached the counter, there was a paper bowl waiting, half full with a broken up chocolate chip cookies, melted chocolate running freely as steam rose from the container. A small glass bottle of milk went down next to it with a soft clink, and two spoons were stabbed into the cookie pieces. 

“You’re new! I’m Cory,” the girl introduced herself to you with a friendly smile. “Sorry for assuming, but trust me, this is the best thing on the menu, and you’ll want to share. Everyone shares. Except Bucky, but he always regrets it.”

“Oh, he doesn’t regret it,” Steve laughed, handing over the proper payment. 

“Well, he should,” Cory replied, handing back the change she already had waiting in her hand. She reached out and poured the milk over the cookies, placing the bottle on a tray of empties beside her. 

“What if I wanted to stay here and eat it this time?” Steve argued, lifting a disposable spoon with mock disappointment.

“We close in thirty minutes, and it would take you at least an hour to get out of those tiny chairs. Now, scoot.” 

“Rude!” he protested when you laughed, snatching up the cup and turning toward the exit. “Goodnight to you too, Cory.” 

Cory winked as you followed Steve out the door. 

“Excuse me, I thought we were sharing!” you said when you caught up, snatching the extra spoon from him.

“Maybe both spoons were for me,” Steve teased, but he shifted to hold the bowl between you, smiling as you tried to assemble the perfect bite. “Careful. Everything in there is an extreme temperature.”

You took your first bites at the same time, and Steve hummed in amusement when your eyes widened. 

What the hell was happening in your mouth? The cookie was virtually molten, almost burning your tongue before clashing with the near-frozen milk. Chocolate, brown sugar, and the perfect amount of salt lit up your taste buds, and Steve was fully laughing at you now as you smacked his shoulder excitedly. 

“Oh my God!”

“I know!”

“I wasted so much time not being your friend! How do you know the most magical hidden places in the city?”

Steve smiled smugly, taking another bite of cookie and milk as he shrugged. 

“I’m gonna die here on this sad, damp sidewalk, and I won’t even be mad about it,” you insisted, taking another bite yourself.

“Or I could walk you home so you can die somewhere more comfortable. If you want,” he offered. 

“Probably a good idea,” you said, checking your watch. “Wanda is only supposed to watch Faucet for another hour. Oh! That’s my dog - ”

“I know,” Steve laughed. “Bucky has told me a lot about her. I honestly think he might love her more than he loves me.” 

“Well, she is extremely lovable. I’d appreciate the company, but I don’t want you going too far out of your way. I live back towards the college,” you said, pointing with your spoon.

“Me too! Won’t be a problem.”

You shared contented smiles as you turned back towards home, walking closer than before to share the dessert. You weren’t sure which made you feel warmer. 

The sidewalk, previously uncontested, became more populated the closer you got to campus, groups of students filtering out of bars and returning home from parties. You weaved between them, keeping your head down to avoid traumatizing anyone with the experience of running into their professor while drunk. Beside you, Steve did the same. 

These groups thinned out again before disappearing entirely as you headed off the main streets towards the residential areas, and you carried on a quiet conversation until you came to a stop in front of your building. 

You hesitated a moment, studying Steve’s face before speaking. 

“Earlier tonight, I said that we needed honest and direct communication, and I want to keep that up. Do you believe me?”

“Yes,” Steve answered, a touch of concern entering his eyes. 

“So, believe that I mean exactly what I say when I ask if you want to come upstairs for a little while. To talk, rest a little, and meet my dog before you head back home. Those are my honest intentions,” you said carefully.

“I get to meet Faucet, huh?” The smile he gave you was tinged with shyness, and his eyes flicked up towards the windows.

“If you want to. No pressure, though.”

He thought for a moment, shifting slightly on his feet before looking back down at you.

“I’d love to.”

------------------------

Ah!! How do we feel about the crush being out in the open now? Who would you want to challenge to the romance novel game? MOST importantly, do you think Faucet will like Steve? Thoughts, opinions, speculation, I want to hear them all!

As always, replies, reblogs, and asks make the world go round! Your reactions brighten my day!

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[hopefulecho]

Okay I watched that new Owl House ep, here’s some disorganized, probably incomplete thoughts:

1. I wanna drop kick Belos

2. Is… is Kikimora okay? She seems kinda unhinged…

3. Eda calling Amity Boots though! Similar to Mittens, but different!

4. I see we’re making deals with the Owl Beast… Perhaps an allusion to making deals with devils/demons? 👀

5. I loved seeing Gus and Willow again, I wanna see more of the Bad Girl Coven together!

6. Honestly, I was kinda wanting Eda to adopt Hunter, because she has experience taking kids under her wing, but it would be interesting if it was Lilith…

7. Similar experiences in the Emperor’s Coven, and they both completely hinged their existence on how useful they could be (dammit I wish Amity and Lilith were close like fandom interpreted them as, but oh well)

8. And after years without proper support and unconditional love (separated from Eda, and she certainly didn’t seem to have friends in the coven), she’s finally experiencing that support again via Hooty, Eda, and now her parents.

9. It just would be nice for Hunter to see someone similar to him have a nice support system. Something he can have as well, if he lets himself. And if we get him away from Belos.

10. I guess I’m now on Team Lilith Adopts Hunter

11. WHAT’S THE BIRD’S NAME??

12. Lumity being adorable is always a treat

13. And Luz depending on others makes me cry. Please, child, keep it up, you have a family and friends and a girlfriend who all have your back.

[novelist-becca]

Could these walls come crumbling down

Fandom: The Owl House

Rating: Teen

Relationships: Eda Clawthorne & Luz Noceda 

Summary: A look at “A Lying Witch and a Warden” from Eda’s POV. Title is from the song “Into the Open Air” by Julie Fowlis. Italics are Eda’s thoughts.

AO3 link here

FFN link here

Eda had sent Owlbert back through the portal after their brief trip through the human realm. She was unable to find any good stuff, plus she was getting tired. So she went back to wait at her booth while he found more garbage. That was an hour ago. The bored witch watched as random citizens walked by. A part of her worried he was caught and captured by a curious human. He was supposed to be back by now! 

Then, as she was tapping her foot in impatience, she heard the door finally open, and the owl flew through the curtain dragging a half-full sack of human garbage. 

“Finally, you're back!” Eda said with a sigh. Nevertheless, she gave Owlbert a quick scratch on his chin as a thank you. Eda thought she heard a voice from inside the tent, but she ignored it and turned to the sack. “Now let's see what we've got here.” She said as she screwed Owlbert back onto the staff. 

Eda rubbed her hands together in anticipation and looked through the assortment. A small dark box thingy? Nah, she could never figure out how to work those strange box things. “Garbage…” A diamond ring? No, everybody here's already seen those. “Garbage…” and a golden glowing goblet! Nope, she needed something rare! Something different!

Then as if the sack could read her mind, Eda gasped pulled out a large pair of strange glasses with bloodshot eyeballs. “Now this…” she said as she tried them on. “This will make me rich!” To her amusement, the eyeballs popped out and sprung for a few seconds.

It's horrifying. Perfect! 

“And this…” The next item Eda pulled out was a book. It was…eh. She's seen a few witchlings carry it around. Whatever. Her candle was starting to go out anyway. “Well, this'll make good kindling.” 

But as soon as she held the book over the flame, some kid burst out of the tent and snatched it out of her hand. “Excuse me sorry that's mine thank you!” She said quickly. 

Now where the hell did she come from? Eda thought. Then a quick look at her ears confirmed that she was a human. 

Now she could be…useful.

Before the little intruder could escape back through the portal door, Eda closed it with the key. She wasn't going to get away that easily.

“You're not going anywhere.” She said sternly. It seemed to scare the kid enough that she escaped from under the tent’s cover. Not wanting to lose this opportunity, the witch followed her. Soon enough, Eda found the girl standing at the edge of a cliff, visibly freaked out and confused, and also smacked down a stray pixie. The witch internally laughed at the child. 

Classic humans. 

“Where am I? Did I DIE?! Am I in the Bad Place?” The girl frantically asked nobody in particular. Eda grabbed her shoulder, startling her for a moment. 

“You wish.” 

The older witch dragged the girl back to the booth by her arm, sitting her down on a stool. Yup, she's human. Eda told herself. No doubt about it with those round ears. She looked to be in her teens, with dark skin and short brown hair. Said human had her knees pulled up to her chest, looking up apologetically at the woman before her. 

“I-I'm so sorry, I just wanted my book! If you're gonna eat me, just make it quick- just do it now!” The human stuttered out, holding out her arm. 

The witch internally laughed at this kid’s complete overreaction. Alright Eda, time to drop the tough guy act. Don't scare her too much.

“Eat you? Why would I eat…a potential customer?” Eda said to the girl, presenting her stash of junk. Her words seemed to confuse her, but the kid seemed to calm down, and looked up with interest. Nailed it! She's hooked! “Can I offer you a human foot filled with holes? A bar of green human candy? Oh, oh, how about this black shadow box that reflects only sadness?” Eda spoke as she went through whatever assortment of objects she found interesting. 

And, interestingly enough, instead of rejecting the offer and walking to the next stand, the human laughed a little bit at the presentation. 

“That's not all it can do.” The human says, getting out of her seat. “Here, let me see it.” Eda allows her to take the offered “shadow box” and observed as she takes something from the “human candy” bowl and inserted it into the object. Then she pushed a button and…it lit up with loud music, showing a person dancing. To Eda’s surprise, some demons and witches heard the noise and were immediately attracted. Oh, so that's how it really works.

“Huh? What's that?”

“That sound, it's so alluring…!” 

One demon held up some money. “I'll pay 40 snails for the screaming box!” 

Another demon held up his too. “I'll give you 100!”

“Can I eat the tiny person inside?” 

Eda watched in awe as more people offered up their goods for the device. All thanks to this kid. She turns to her with great interest. “What did you say your name was?” She asked with an impressed smirk. 

If she's a human, then maybe she can help King. Eda thought, remembering the other reason for pulling her aside. 

“I'm Luz! Luz Noceda!” The kid said, smiling at her. It's incredible how she hasn't run away screaming from the demons and monsters of the Isles, as most normal humans would. 

“Well, Luz, that was pretty clever…for a human.” Eda adds, taking the offered money from her customers. 

“That's kind of a weird thing for another human to say.” Luz says, raising an eyebrow. 

Oh, right, the bandana!

“Oh, dear child…” Eda started before swiftly taking off the bandana disguise to reveal her own pointy ears. “I'm not like you.” 

The witch stepped on top of her table to speak. Might as well entertain the kid. 

“I'm Eda the Owl Lady! The most powerful witch on the Boiling Isles!” Eda declared proudly. 

“A witch?” She heard Luz say in wonder and delight. 

Oh, I like this kid. 

“I am respected! Feared!”

“-Busted!” To her dismay, the loud device was smashed by none other than…an Emperor’s Guard. Customers ran away in fear, but Luz stayed by the table for whatever reason. Dammit.

“Eda the Owl Lady, you are wanted for misuse of magic and demonic misdemeanors!” The guard spoke in a gruff voice. 

“Woah, witch criminal.” Luz said from her spot by the table, watching with great interest. For some reason she…stayed. 

“You are hereby ordered to come with me to the Conformitorium!” He demanded, grabbing Eda’s arm. 

She yanked it back in annoyance. The guards were stalking her…a lot today. “Would you guys quit following me around? I haven't done squat.” Why do they call it “misuse” anyway? 

Unfortunately, the guard noticed Luz and lifted her up by her shirt. “And you're coming too. For fraternizing with a criminal!” 

“What? That's not cool!” Luz exclaimed, eyes widening. 

Quickly, Eda formulated a plan. “Oh alright alright, you win. Just let me get my stuff…” she answered, getting her staff. Swiftly, she swung it at the guard, knocking him flat on the ground. These chumps are too easy!

Quickly, Eda cast a spell to wrap up everything in a sack, hanging it on her staff. But not before pressing the button on her key. “Whoops, can't forget this!” She ran towards Luz, remembering her mission. “Follow me, human!” And she did. 

As Eda ran, Luz rambled frantically beside her. “This is crazy! If I die here my mom’s gonna kill me!” 

The witch laughed. “Ha! I won't let him hurt you. A human like you is much more valuable to me alive than dead.” Eda promised. If she is to earn Luz’s trust, she can't get hurt. No matter what.

“Wait, what's that supposed to-”

Eda didn't let her finish as she suddenly hooked her arm with Luz’s, whooping as she swept her off the ground and into the air with her on the staff. 

As expected, Luz was frozen in her place on the staff, tears leaking from her closed eyes. 

“You can open your eyes now, human.” Eda told her.

Luz opened one eye, then another before letting out a whimper and nearly falling off. “Flying staffs, crazy monsters, you're a witch! What is this place?” She asked as Eda pulled her back up. 

“This is the Boiling Isles.” Eda explained to the girl. “Every myth you humans have is a bit of our world leaking into yours.” Just then, a large griffin flew by, sparking Luz’s interest. 

“A griffin!” And when it started breathing spiders, “I knew it!” She exclaimed happily. Eda marveled at Luz’s great fascination with this world. She loved the enthusiasm. 

“Yup! Griffins, vampires, giraffes…” Eda recounted. 

“Giraffes?” Luz asked, confused. 

“Oh yeah. We banished those guys. Buncha freaks.” Eda said with disgust. Those super long necks had always unnerved her. She stepped off her staff once she arrived at their destination. Luz stayed on, unsure. Until she noticed Eda's detached hand and jolted off. 

Jumpy isn't she? 

“Whoops, that happens sometimes.” Eda said nonchalantly, screwing her hand back on. 

Luz got to her feet. “Well, I've had enough adventure for today. This is clearly not the PG fantasy world I always dreamed about. So, can you help me get back home?” She said. Eda held her staff in front of her before she could walk away, making her freeze in place. She needs her for this. And she's not getting away so easily.

“Only if you help me first!” Eda insists. “Ha! Now come along, human.” 

As she and Luz approached the door, Luz piped up again. 

“Aren't you worried about those guards finding us?” She asked, looking behind them nervously. 

Eda looked to her and gestured at her house. “Nope! My house has a state-of-the-art defense system.” As long as Hooty’s around, she and anybody that chooses to stay is safe. But…not from his voice. 

“Hoot hoot, password please.” Hooty said. Eda rolled her eyes and poked his eyes. “Ow!” 

“We got no time for this, Hooty. Let us in.” She answered with two fingers still held up as a warning. 

“Alright alright, jeez! You never wanna have any fun! Ow! Hoot!” Hooty scoffs before letting Eda and her new aquaintance in. She let the girl take a brief look around before snapping her fingers. 

“Welcome to…the Owl House.” And with a snap of her fingers, everything came to life. Candles lit up, the broom sweeping, the fireplace blazing, and the ceiling lit up with that beautiful picture of a bird. Luz looked around in amazement and walked around. 

“Where I hide away from the pressures of modern life.” Eda explained. “Also the cops. Also ex-boyfriends, ha!” She added with a snort. 

Luz placed her book down on the coffee table. “This place is beautiful. So do you live here all alone?” 

As if on cue, the house seemed to shake with King’s angry stomping. That damn demon. 

“Actually, I have a roommate.” Eda frowned.

“WHO DARES INTRUDE UPON I, THE King of Demons!” King demanded as he entered the living room in his towel and…holding a rubber duckie. 

Instead of getting scared, Luz gasped in delight at the sight of him. “Ay que lindo!” She exclaimed, and then she quickly scooped a confused King into a tight hug. “Eda he's so cute! Who's a widdle guy? Who's a widdle guy? Is it you, is it you? Mmm!!!” She cooed excitedly to the now frightened demon. Not that Eda could really blame her, he is really adorable. 

“NO! I don't know who your little guy is! Eda! Who is this monster?!” King cried as he tried and failed to push the girl off him. 

“Oh, this is Luz, the human.” Eda tells him, restraining Luz with her arms around her torso and prying her away, then putting her back down. “She's here to help us with our…situation.” She explains with a hand on Luz's shoulder. 

King lit up. “Oh! Hurray!”

But Luz backed away, apprehensive. “Wait wait wait. I don't like the sound of this 'situation.’” 

Eda stepped in front of her before she can back out. “Just…let me explain.” She says before drawing a spell circle to help illustrate their objective. “King was once a mighty king of demons, until his crown of power was stolen, and he became…this.” She noticed Luz had picked up King again. 

“You mean this little bundle of joy?” She interjects. 

Eda continued. “The crown is being held by the evil Warden Wrath, and locked away behind a magical force field that only a human can break through. A human like you.” She lifted the spell and looked at Luz. “If you help us retrieve his crown, we’ll send you back to your realm.” And while Eda may be Public Enemy #1, she intended to keep her end of this deal. “So what do you say?” To convince her, she picked up King by his head. “Plus, who could say no to this cute face?” 

“No! Please don't encourage her!” King cried, squirming in her hold. 

Eda dropped him. “I mean, we're kinda your only way home.” She reasons. There's not any other portal to the human realm. That she knows of, at least. 

Luz averted her eyes to the side. “So I don't really have a choice, do I?” She guesses.

“Nope! Now we've got no time to lose!” Eda urges, picking up Luz and holding her over her shoulder. The girl didn't struggle. Behind her, Eda hears King talking to his duck. 

“Where are we going?” Luz asks over her shoulder. 

“Somewhere super fun!” 

~ 

“The Conformitorium, a place for those considered 'unsuitable for society’.” Eda explains with distaste when they reached their destination. She remembers how guards would throw people in that damn place simply for being weird. Most of them haven't committed any real crimes! 

Beside her, Luz had found one of her famous Wanted posters. “Whoa. These guys really have the hots for you.” She observed. 

She's not wrong.

“Yep. But we were never caught because we were too slippery.” Eda proudly says with a smirk. That poster would always be one of her proudest moments. She looked good in it! A part of her feels overjoyed that this child didn't judge her for her criminal status.

“Try to catch me when I'm covered in grease, I'm a squirmy little fella.” King remarked in his place on Luz's head. Luz, who probably just found it weird, tilted her head so the demon could slip off. “You and I will sneak up to the top of the tower where they're holding my crown.” He explained to her. 

“And I'm gonna make sure the warden’s distracted.” Eda added.

Luz gasped in excitement. “Will I need a disguise?”

“Uh…” Eda didn't really answer. Nobody's seen her before, so does she really need one? 

“I've been waiting to use this.” Luz said, and put on her hoodie, flicking the cat ears up. “Meow meow!” 

Oh why not let her have some fun. Besides, it’s kinda cute!

“It's hideous.” King commented. 

“Oh you'll fit right in.” Eda agreed, smiling. Then she planted her staff to the ground, creating a glowing yellow disk. “Hang on tight!” Then it  lifted Luz and King to the air, elevating them to a tower window. After they were dropped off, she flew away on her staff to begin her search. “Meet you guys at the top of the tower!” She said. 

Eda flew around the halls of the Conformitorium, passing cells, making sure no guards were around while also searching for the Warden. Eventually, she heard someone at the end of the hallway. She peeked around the corner and sure enough, there was Warden Wrath, holding a tiny creature with a big nose hostage. 

Good. Just where we want him. Eda flew back the other way to go update the human girl. 

After a few minutes of searching, Eda found Luz walking around the halls with her hood down, looking…dejected. “Hey, I just checked, the Warden is distracted, tormenting some tiny creature. He won't coming around here anytime soon.” 

Luz didn't respond, and her expression didn't change as she walked past Eda. She looked deep in thought. 

Where's that enthusiasm from earlier? 

In front of them was a large door labeled “Contraband”. This was the room where King’s crown was! 

“My crown, it's close! I can sense its power!” King said excitedly. He scrambled quickly to the door, desperately trying to get it open. Of course, with his tiny body it would take a while. 

“Aw, he's so cute when he's thirsty for power.” Eda cooed. 

Then Luz finally spoke. “It's not fair that they're all in here. They just want to be themselves!” She said sadly. Eda assumed she probably talked to a few of the prisoners. “Why does everyone think being a weirdo is so bad?” She asked, looking up at the witch with sad eyes. 

She understands. She knows what it's like to be stifled. Eda thought fondly. I really like this kid.

Before Eda could come up with a response, a noise snapped both of them out of their thoughts, King finally got the door open, and was now laughing to himself as he excitedly sprinted into the room. 

“Come on, before he hurts himself.” Eda sighed. And as if on cue, she heard an “ow!” followed by a zap. 

In the room, King was repeatedly headbutting the barrier, failing over and over again to get through. 

Ha, cute.

“We have a human, remember?” Eda reminded him, looking up at Luz, silently telling her what she had to do. 

“Oh yeah!” Said King.

Luz took a deep breath as if to prepare herself, and slowly stepped through the barrier. Eda and King stood outside, waiting for the human to find what they needed. And sure enough, Luz stepped back out, holding the crown, looking confused. 

King took it from her, putting it on. “Yes, yes! I can feel my powers returning! You there, nightmare critter! I shall call you Francois and you shall be a minion in my army of darkness!” He pointed excitedly to a random stuffed rabbit. “Ha, ha!” He laughed triumphantly. 

“That crown doesn't give him any powers, does it?” Luz asked, disappointed and confused. 

“Uh, no.” Eda replied. Luz gave her a skeptical look. “Oh, look at us, Luz. King and I don't have much in this world, we only have each other. So if that dumb crown is important to him, it important to me.” She says, trying to convince the girl that this wasn't a total waste of time. “Besides, us weirdos have to stick together, you know?” She concluded with a wink. Luz looked at her and smiled, pink tinting her cheeks. 

I knew you'd understand. 

“Well, we owe you one. Now let's get outta here before the warden finds us and loses his head.” She stated. 

“Too late.” A sinister voice said behind her.

The owner of that voice swiftly and effortlessly cut of Eda’s head, which Luz caught in her hands. The girl screamed. 

“AAHH!!!” 

“OW! Oh I hate it when that happens.” 

“AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!”

Luz held Eda’s head close, looking at her with terrified eyes. “Eda! Are you okay?!” 

“Yeah, this just happens when you get older.” Eda said nonchalantly. 

“Does it?” Luz asked, horrified. 

Well it started happening when I got older, I don't know about other witches…where's my body?

Warden Wrath approached them. “Finally, I have you cornered, Eda the Owl Lady.” Then he took King’s crown again, crushing it easily in his hands. 

“Weh?!”

“My guards could never get you, but I knew if I took your pet’s toy, you'd come running.” He crushed the crown easily in his hands. 

“NO!” King sobbed. “My power!” 

Luz and Eda glared at him. “What do you want with me?! I've never actually broken any of your stupid laws…in front of you!” Eda glowered. They came all this way just for King! Nobody makes him cry like that!

“I want you…” he kneeled down on one knee. “To go out with me.”

What the hell? 

“Wha?” 

“What?” 

Warden continued. “You've always eluded our capture. You've always been the one who got away. I found that alluring.” He said. 

What the fuck?

“I hate everything you're saying right now.” Luz said, disgusted. Eda was even more disgusted. These guys never ever got the message to back off. All that, just because he wanted a date? What a load of bull.

Warden snapped out of his lovestruck state. “You stay out of this!” He threw a goopy arm at Luz, knocking Eda’s head out of her hands. As she struggled, he picked Eda’s head up by her hair and stared her in the face. 

“So how about it, Owl Lady? The most powerful witch of the Boiling Isles and the feared Warden Wrath. We'd be the strongest power couple ever.” Warden said. Eda cringed. “I mean, it's not like you can say no right now.” 

Just when I thought this day couldn't get any worse. 

Eda looked to Luz, then to King, who was now struggling to get out of a guard’s arms, and formulated a plan in her head. 

“Alright, Warden, you win. I'd just like to say something first.” She sighed. “Come closer.” He brought her head closer. “No, just come a little bit closer. Just… yeah that's good-” and Eda blew a raspberry right in his face, breaking his concentration and making him drop Luz. While he was groaning in disgust, Eda was cackling from where she hung.

He's so gullible! I knew he'd fall for that! 

“Impudent wench! Don't you know how many germs are in your mouth? Yuck!” He sneered. 

“Get over it! You had your guards stalk me and then you cut off my head! I am NOT going out with you!” She said angrily. 

“If you don't accept, then I have no choice but to-” 

WHACK! 

Her staff came up from behind, knocking him on the head, making him drop Eda’s head. It was none other than Luz! 

Eda chuckled. “Nice!” What a smart girl! Quick thinking!

Then she got her body to come over and pull the guards’ hoods over their faces, distracting them. Luz ran over and picked up Eda’s head and grabbing King back from a guard, getting on the staff, trying to figure out how to make it fly. 

“Expecto…flying? Magicusescapicus!” Luz said, but nothing happened. 

It doesn't really require enchantments, kid… 

“Gun it magic stick!” Eda barked, and immediately, the trio was flying through the air. They haphazardly flew through the halls, passing jail cells. Luz looked to Eda and held out an arm. 

“Eda, lend me a hand!” Luz said to the head. Eda, knowing what she wanted to do, linked her arm with Luz’s, giving them enough strength to move the levers to open the cell doors, freeing whoever the prisoners were. Then they all burst through a door, and the warden finally caught up to them. He launched a goopy arm at them, and they crash-landed to the ground. 

The warden morphed his hand into an axe, and Eda put her head back on, feeling the satisfaction of being able to move again. She jumped to action, and pulled out her key. “Luz,” she said to the girl. “Go back to the human world.” 

She's already helped us, I owe it to her to let her go home safe. 

“What about you guys?” 

King ran over to try to help Eda. “If you think this guy is bad, you shoulda seen her last boyfriend!” 

“Not my boyfriend.” Eda said, grabbing King and jumping out of the way of the warden’s attack. Not in a million years.

Eda, seeing how Luz was still standing there, lifted Luz, forcing her to sit on the staff, ignoring her protests. She may have only just met the human an hour ago, but she feels the instinct to keep her safe. 

“But-but I-” 

“Go, go!” Eda urges, forcing her on and slapping the staff, cuing it to fly. Luz went away on the staff, yelling, out of sight, and hopefully to safety. 

Eda prepared herself when the warden took off his mask to reveal a hideous mouth and spat fire. She drew two spell circles. One to absorb the fire, and one to redirect it back at him, slamming him to the wall. 

Ha! Too much fun! 

However, a few minutes of fighting led to her being knocked to the ground by the warden, King following suit, who she caught in her arms, holding him close. 

“No more running away, Owl Lady. Today I capture you once and for all!” The warden growled, raising his hands. King whimpered, huddling close to Eda, who held on tighter and glared at their attacker. 

“-GO GO GO GO!!!” Luz’s voice yelled. 

Wait, what? I thought she went home! 

Luz flew past her, three former prisoners following suit, tackling the warden to the ground. 

“Luz?” Eda said in disbelief. Did she seriously come back for us? 

Eda stood by and watched as the trio of prisoners got on top of the warden, standing up to him and restraining him. 

“I ate my own eye!”

“I think the world is a triangle!”

“And I practice the ancient art of fanfiction!” 

Incredible! 

The eye demon had tangled the warden’s tentacle-arms together and turned him over, so he was facing Luz. 

“You! Who do you think you are?” He snarled. 

“Do not underestimate me, Warden Wrath, for I am Luz, the human, warrior of peace!” Luz spoke triumphantly. Then she grabbed what looked like a bunch of fireworks tied together. “Now eat this, sucka!” She shouted, using the staff to hit it into the warden’s mouth, effectively blowing it up. 

She had that with her the whole time? Amazing thinking, Luz! 

Eda stood next to Luz, smiling proudly and placing a hand on her shoulder. What a brave kid. I'm impressed. She wanted to say, but didn't out of pride.

“That was actually one of her better breakups.” King joked.

“Not a breakup,” Eda reminded King. “Anyway, let's bounce before any more monsters fall in love with me.” 

Seriously, kid. You were amazing. I really owe you. 

~

“Well, a deal’s a deal, let's get you home.” Eda said, calling forth the key and pushing the button. The door appeared, waiting for Luz to open it and step through. But she stood there, deep in thought. Eda smiled at her, silently thanking her for her help. 

Luz looked at King and stepped forward, kneeling down. “Before I go…” she took out what looked like a tiny plastic head that had a tiny golden crown on it. “I know it's not the same, but…a king shouldn't be without a crown.” She said, giving the demon the crown. 

He took it, placing it on his head. “This shall suffice.” And he pointed to one of the houseplants. “You there, plant! You are now under my command!” 

Eda then gave Luz back her book that she almost burned earlier that day. “Oh, and don't forget this.” Luz seemed to really value that book. 

Luz walked back to the portal door, and Eda and King waited behind her. Eda saw her hold up her book, thinking. Then, she did something Eda did not expect. Luz turned around.

“Okay. I know you got your head cut off, and we started some kind of prison riot, but this was the most fun I've ever had.” She said to the witch and demon. Eda looked at her, shocked. 

What is she saying? Is she going to…

“I don't fit in at home. You don't fit in here. If I stay, we can 'not fit in’ together.” Luz looked at the pamphlet that was on top of the book and stared at it. “I am not going back to summer camp.”

Eda chuckled, confused. “Wha-what's ‘summer camp’? What are we talking about here?” 

She's staying?! Why?

“I wanna stay and become a witch like you! And Azura!” Luz declared happily, holding up her book. 

“What? Alright, that's crazy. Humans can't become witches.” Eda stated, dismissing her. I love the enthusiasm, but why?

But Luz didn't give up. “Maybe that's because they haven't tried!” She insisted. “If you teach me to become a witch, I'll do anything you want.” 

Okay, she's got a point there. And an apprentice? I kinda like the sound of that. 

“Let her stay!” King urged, pulling at the hem of Eda’s dress. “She can make us snacks.” 

Eda smiled and picked up the demon. “Well, I could use a hand keeping this goofball out of the cupboards.” She said. “All right, I'll teach you how to be a witch. But you have to work for me before you learn any spells.” She held out her hand for Luz to shake. “Deal?”

But instead of taking her hand, Luz just went straight in for a tight hug. 

Whoa whoa whoa! “Ugh! What's going on?!” Eda froze in Luz’s hold. 

“Too tight, too tight!” King protested.

~

After Luz relinquished from the hug, Eda told her she could sleep in the attic upstairs. She didn't protest and gladly brought her stuff up. Eda was left there, thinking about what just happened. 

That kid was so brave today. Better than any kid, much less a human kid, I've ever seen. 

She thought about what having a teenager living in her home might be like. She knows it will be messy, and she’ll probably try to stare danger in the face like today. But she's willing to give it a shot. Who could say no to that confidence? 

What Eda didn't know is that since that day, she would witness this human girl's endless wonder and courage. She didn't know the pride she would feel whenever Luz learned a new spell or made new friends. She didn't know that Luz would start to give her a reason to look forward to tomorrow. She didn't know how much she would grow to care for Luz as if she was her own child. 

She didn't know how much she would love this light that lit up her life. 

[popculturebuffet]

Not-Streaming List Update!: First Graduates

Hello everybody! I”m Jake, I do deep analytical reviews of animation and comics that dive right in, pointing out character dynamics, what makes a work work and what makes it stop working and punch you in the face with i’ts incomptence instead. 

But i’ve also had a side hobby... 

THE NOT STREAMING LIST!

You can find it in the link up above in the highlighted name.

It’s exactly what it sounds like: my ongoing catalogue of cartoons and a few live action shows that SHOULD be streaming and have either no obvious roadblocks and aren’t avaliable elsewhere. The exception to this is the shows that ARE on Boomerang for some reason.. but not on HBO Max as there’s no real reason for an extra premium service , especailly when half of Boomerang’s library is already on HBO Max. I want to watch Camp Lazlo dammit. 

Now you could say “Jake... there’s hundreds of shows on these services why get so nettled about a few shows missing”. My response to that is: because for every one of these shows there’s at least one person where it’s their faviorite. One person who deserves to have their faviorite work acknolwedged, easily avaliable for susbcribers, and in the best quality possible. And “I don’t wanna because shut up” and “Because we want to plug boomerang” just aren’t valid excuses. If a company is slowly readding past content fine, I get needing to keep people on the hook but it’s gotten to the point for mos tof these streamers they clearly just can’t be arsed to.. and thus someone needs to keep track of it and hopefully get more people invested. 

But while I’m making this list primarily to keep people aware (and if you see a show missing from these lists feel free to shoot me an ask), I also like to give the networks credit when they actually DO add something. So with two of these coming next month and two of these avaliable NOW, let’s take a look at our first works to graduate the lists.

Hulu: The Tick Animated: This is a PROUD PROUD day. I love this show, intend to rewatch it all and genuinely respect the hell out of it. If you haven’t seen or heard of it it’s a wonderfully nuts superhero parody starring a boistrerous blue man in a tick costume out of touch with relaity and his sidekick arthur, a nervous pudgy guy in a moth costume. They fight crime from chair faced gangsters, to brainchildren to mustaches. Two of it’s best writers would go on to make the venture bros so if you haven’t heard of this one check it out. It’s spoontastic. 

Paramount+: Rise of the TMNT: While season 2 still remains absent when I first made the list half of season 1 was also missing for no reason. That’s since changed so while season 2 remains on the list.. it’ll likely get added eventually nick is just the slowest out of the networks to add cartoons after airing, with hbo max/hulu (i.e. time warner) not being that much faster and Disney not only usually only taking a month, sometimes two, but also having JUST added season 2a of the owl house only a few weeks after it finished, meaning their getting FASTER.  Welcome to the Wayne: I just ran into this one but i’ts one i’ve been meaning to watch but lost track of due to the massive airing gaps and nick’s general dickery when a show isn’ tan overnight sucess. still it seems like a decent enough show and what I saw wasn’t bad, a few problems but it seems fun enough i’ll check it out sometime and i’m glad I finally CAN.  The Casagrandes: Did I mention Nick was slow? Because they are. Despite season 1 wrapping a year ago it’s taken till this fall for it to land. HOpefully they learn a lesson from DIsney and speed it up a bit. This one comes next month.  Disney+:

Pepper-Anne: Hey you all remember pepper-anne? That’s godo because I barely do but i’ts theme song slaps and it is good enough. HOpefully this is a good sign for weekenders and filmore, but it’s still one I wouldn’t mind checking out again and hopefully disney will stop drip feeding these shows and just put them on here. You have originals now you don’t have to drip feed and you never did. Just.. ADD THEM

So that’s the list, see ya real soon!

[jeeperso]

D&D Quotes Without context

Miscellaneous Edition, for those quotable lines from between sessions

"All I wanna do, is fork a giant woman! A giant woman!" "Jonni, I'm pretty sure she is some type of undead, probably a vampire. Are you sure that is a good idea?" "If I don’t get turned into a blueberry it won’t be my worst date." "Okay, but if you have to defend yourself just don't burn the place down for once." "Oh, Nyx. Sweet summer child. I never make promises we both know I won’t even try to keep." "Jonni, if I wake up to my bed surrounded in flames again I'm short-sheeting your next bed every night for at least a month." "I know you're trying to score here, but Lady Dimitrescu's daughters are literally vampires AND bugs. I can overlook one, but as a Paladin, it is my sacred duty to burn this place to the ground and stir the ashes."

"We don't let Marshall make breakfast anymore." "Those waffles are well-fortified." "I'm going to be charitable and call it hardtack." "We can use these waffles as melee weapons." "Well if we need to deflect siege engines they'll be good to have." "This is still carbon based and digestible by human systems without any poisons." "I can't serve this. It'll cause ... death." "Marshal we've been over this. This Pizza has 10% less of a lethal amount of grease." "Plus they signed the waivers when they bought a ticket. It's fine." "And don't forget to push the Cakeon." "Cakeon being slices of cake wrapped in bacon." "The special sauce is a mixture of mayonnaise, ketchup, mustard, ranch, horseradish, cheddar cheese, sour cream, and anything unfortunate enough to fall into the mixing vat."

"You do have a copy of the legal code I requested in my letter? As landed gentry you should actually have legal avenues to... I'm sorry did you say Burning child?"

"First I'm going to nail a crossbow bolt through your heart. Then I'm going to mount your balls to walls on opposite sides of this chamber." "I need Three Barrels of Butter" "Are you serious? Those Claws could crush an elephant in full plate!" "You're Right!" *Turns to first person* "We might need more than three barrels of butter."

"So Ioun is the patron of poor college kids. that scans "

"its hardtack or a mug of molten cheese-fried... something in a woven mug of bacon. your choice."

"Welp, all this coke ain't gonna snort itself..."

"Right hand me that dress and the bail money. I'll get Jonni." OOC: Well I mean they allow men in the city. Its just no men live in the city. "I stand by my statement. I'm allowed to look pretty every now and then." OOC: And dragons are the most unprejudiced lovers of anyone after bards.

OOC: Well I mean come on, its Ravenloft: saying a place is of death and madness is like making the observation the day ends in y. "Going out. Getting laid." "Jonni, she’s a werewolf." "Going out, forking a werewolf." OOC: Well Lycanthropy isn't usually sexually transmitted. Its just that Mercedes is a biter. OOC: ...I don't have an appropriate response to that.

"You seriously think I’d turn on my friends for a pile of gold?!?" "sigh I’ll show you my tits. "Hot damn, let’s get these murders done!" "No, Jonni, stay good. Besides, there are plenty of other girls who will do that without asking you to murder us." "Hmmmm… this is the moral quandary of my life…" "I’ll give you five bucks." "Scales tipped!" "Phew, I thought I was going to have to cover her next trip to the topless bar." "No, no, I have the bail money right here."

Nyx: So what’s the inside of Jonni’s head like? Edmund (with thousand yard stare): Imagine every ladies only smut magazine you’ve ever heard of going on forever into infinity while everything is on fire. Food was good though.

"It’s cool. They stole it." "And you know this how?" "Magic." “90% of Ravenloft deaths are mysterious vanishings.” "Why does everything come out covered in glitter and … is that …" "Lube. I’ve got a few theories." "Please don’t share them."

OOC: This is a plan that ends with Strahd having fewer brides, his castle is in flames, and he’s lost his cape.

OOC: Our team consists of a horny pyromancer, a gnome who can fillete you in five seconds, an HP lovecraft protagonist with actual magic backing them up, a literal slab of iron with a face, and a guy with a "I went to the eternal city of Ryleth and all I got was PTSD and this lousy T shirt". Gorbash smashing his shield into their face: "Have! You! Considered! Therapy!" OOC: Good news is you guys will no longer be the most conspicuous guys at the masquerade now. Jonni: Challenge accepted! "Nyx, the bounty on stealing his fake mustache is still on."

"Vanilla is the king of flavors. What does it say about society where vanilla is considered just 'regular'?" "That they have a lot of vanilla." Lash: "Don’t you want wishes?" Jonni: "Do I need wishes to get to see you naked?" Lash: "No?" Jonni: "Fuck ‘em." Vesh: "Oh dammit its my arranged fiance." Pit Fiend: "Milady." Vesh: "An extra wish to whoever punches this douchecanoe in the nards." Jonni: "I wish…for Bigby’s clenched fist of nard punching."

Soth: "Oh, gods, why am I on fire and why is Immigrant Song playing?" Jonni: "Take a guess." Hazlik: "Okay, so its a partridge, stuffed inside a chicken, stuffed inside a duck, stuffed inside a turkey, and the whole thing is fried on a stick. Congratulations, that's the most horrible thing I have ever seen, and I once crossbred an elephant and an owl." "I give him the 'itis, and we run like we stole something." OOC: ...weirdly Curse of Strahd has stats for Strahd zombies but not Strahd Skeletons. Or Strahd's skeletal Steed. Strahd once went to a branding seminar hosted by Bane and it changed his life.

"Are we on a high enough floor that if I throw him through the window he'll be killed by the fall?" "Oh, but when I say stuff like that it’s all 'Jonni, murder is wrong.'" "When they say pick your battles they don't mean to pick all of them. That's too many battles Jonni. Put some back." OOC: He's technically already got a symbiote. OOC: They can get married. Gorbash: "I'm increasing the rent." Venom: "Can I keep the pool table?" Gorbash: "I'm not a monster." Giant Brain: "Jonni… I have summoned you here for… WHY AM I ALREADY ON FIRE! PUT ME OUT! PUT ME OUT!"

"Hello We're the party-crashers. This is Jonni, she's here to steal your women and burn your shit down. That's Nyx, she's going to repatriate certain items from the premise. Marshal over there, is here to studiously ignore our shenanigans. This is the New Guy. He seems pretty chill. I'm Gorbash... and I have been distracting you."

"Will you walk into my parlour?" said a spider to a fly. Jonni: "Hold up. Trying to sex a spider." Nyx: (throws her hands up) And then Jonni wakes up with a spider venom hangover webbed to a wall waiting to be eaten. Jonni: "Eh, I’ve had worse one night stands. I’m not a fucking blueberry." OOC 1: Hey, where does your weed elf grow [her] crops? OOC 2: She probably just grows them in the room she hasn’t paid rent on. OOC 3: Because I was also considering a circle of spores druid tortle. OOC 2: We could be partners! We could turn this into road to el dorado staring Cheech and Chong. OOC: Wait, I just realized five people are hanging out in a pirate bar, and none of us are rogues. We are gonna need someone to get thieves tools. OOC: We have a barbarian with a big stick.

"Are we Foxhound now? Blunderbuss Octopus." OOC1: You want to put the stoner in charge of food. OOC2: Eyup. OOC1: I see no way this can go wrong! OOC3: We need the four basic food groups. Beans, Bacon, Whisky, and Lard. “We pray to Almighty Darkseid! Give us a sign! Thumbs up, for the triumph of the human spirit! Thumbs down to begin the everlasting reign of darkness!” “Where did you find this guy?” “Me? I thought you hired him.” OOC: Yup, nature, arcana, history, investigation and religon at +6. MJ got baked and watched the Discovery Orb a lot. Tordek: "But we have a cleric, Jozan, over there." Strahd: *sigh* Snaps fingers, and suddenly one of Strahd's brides sucks Jozan out the window, cue screaming. "Oh look, you suddenly have an opening, how fortunate." Tordek: "We also have a druid...." Vadania: "SHUT UP, TORDEK!" Edmund: "I think the first order of business may be to discuss your Human Resources strategy..." Strahd: "I have a guy for that too."

"When someone as smart as him talks with himself, it's not crazy...They call it monologing." "I thought it was soliloquy?" "No, soliloquy is when you're talk at someone else when your talking to yourself." "Most people would run from a demon, you run towards it to study it." Professor: "THIS IS ABSOLUTELY FASCINATING! A FROGHEMOTH, AND RIGHT UP CLOSE, IT WILL BE AMAZING TO SEE THIS PERFECT KILLING MACHINE IN ACTION." OOC: Also note the Professor is Lawful Good, Archie is Chaotic Good, so collectively they balance out to Neutral good. OOC: That's good. "The incinerations will continue until morale improves!" “You never incinerate the women!” “Because I’m fucking them!” “I… was not expecting you to be so honest about that…”

"You got what you wanted....but you lost what you had...." "Yes, I'm familiar with how capitalism works."

OOC: Dragons are like, “That’s Krandor the shiney. He only fucks other dragons. Weirdo.”

Gorbash: "D'awww, so tiny... perfect size... FOR PUNTING!" *boots tiny mind-flayer into the horizon*

"Dracula hasn't been spotted in almost recently. Whats he gonna do, destroy all we know and love like he definitely can?" "... my god you people are too stupid to live." "What are you doing in my house?" Gorbash: "...well Edmund has been reading your books, I've been sorting through your armory, Nyx and Irost has been going through your other shinies, Marshal has been cleaving anything monstrous that gets too close, and Jonni has been lighting things on fire to stave off boredom." Gorbash: "Okay Marshal, Jonni. Rock, paper, scissors over who gets [to kill] the bishop."

Jonni: "Did you really think this would make up for what you did?" Nima: "I… killed everyone you grew up with." Jonni: "Yeah, and I’m still not forgiving you for what you did to Eddie." Nima: "I am missing some key context here…" Nima: "Also I committed identity theft on you by having my new undead army tell everyone you are running the show." Jonni: "Oh, no. You’ve fooled the boar tribe. Who still haven’t figured out shitting in a hole." Nima: "Yeah I noticed that. I ruined two pairs of shoes attacking their camps."

[whenihaveyouromione]

When I Have You - Chapter 33

Read on Fanfiction.net or ao3 if you’d prefer!

Feel free to follow the Instagram account for this story - whenihaveyou.romione

-------

Chapter 33

Ron looked despairingly into the Gringotts bank account he and Hermione had set up when they’d moved in together. It had been easier that way — paying all the funds as one, such as rent for the flat and withdrawing Galleons when they were going out. At the time, earning his own money and now on a level playing field with Hermione, he’d been okay about it. But now… well, now was more challenging. 

Money was going into it on a weekly basis, but money was also coming out every time he took the payment for the ring out. And someone like Hermione, who was good at keeping track of all that kind of stuff, would eventually notice. Surprisingly, she hadn’t yet. Or, if she had, she hadn’t said anything. Perhaps she thought he was just using it to buy other things for himself and didn’t think anything of it. 

That was good in a way, but it bothered him, too. As the weeks wore on, as everyone was still talking about Percy and Audrey’s wedding, he was beginning to think this whole plan had been the wrong plan. He should have just gone with what he could afford and gotten it over with. What did a ring really matter in the scheme of things? Hermione didn’t care about that kind of stuff. She would have agreed to marry him regardless of what he offered in return. He knew that, and yet… he’d let his desire to do it ‘right’ take over. And it had been very, very wrong.

He frowned. That was what came with growing up poor, he realised. He finally had the money to buy something nice and so he went all out. 

And now look where he was. With a debt to pay and nothing to show for it in return — not even the ability to call Hermione his fiance. 

“How much this week, Mr Weasley?” the goblin asked, snapping Ron from his thoughts.

Ron looked down at the goblin, then back into the vault. “Er, ten I suppose. As usual.”

“And send eight of it via owl to Hogsmeade?” the goblin continued.

“Yes,” Ron said. 

The goblin gathered ten Galleons from the vault and stuck eight into a small bag. She passed the other two to Ron. He placed them into his pocket. 

“Is that all?” the goblin then asked.

Ron nodded. “Thanks,” he said, and he watched as the goblin closed the door. It was a small vault compared to the Lestrange one they’d broken into once, or even Harry’s, but it still contained more gold than the Weasley family ever had. 

And it was theirs. 

He and Hermione were doing alright, he supposed. Maybe just not good enough to be taking ten Galleons a week out of it without one of them noticing. 

“The money will be sent via owl this evening, Mr Weasley,” the goblin said. “As per usual.”

“Thanks,” Ron said again, and he jumped back into the cart that would take him back to the surface. Their vault wasn’t too far underground, but it was still a decent journey back to the entrance. And no matter how short it was, it was unpleasant. 

Once he reached it, climbing out of the cart, Ron had to stop for a moment for his eyes to readjust to the light. 

There were a few hours of daylight left, which meant that the shops in Diagon Alley were still open. He had a few Galleons to spare, so he may as well make the most of spending some of it. At least he would have an excuse if Hermione found out about the money this week. 

He strolled past the goblin guards, some of them wishing him a good evening. Ever since the war had ended, he found them far more pleasant than he ever remembered them being, which was surprising considering he’d contributed to the near destruction of the place. Perhaps it was his new outlook on magical creatures thanks to Hermione, or perhaps the goblins were much happier now that their lives weren’t being threatened every day. He couldn’t really tell, but either way, he didn’t hate the visit to the bank as much as he once had. 

Tucked into a little corner near the entrance via the Leaky Cauldron was a florist. From the front door to the back of the shop, the tiny space was decorated in so many bouquets and bunches and designs that Ron had difficulty even entering. 

And the moment he did, he was greeted by a young woman who reminded him very much of Madam Rosmerta in her younger days. But she spoke with the mystical voice of Professor Trelawney, which really ruined her good looks for Ron. 

“Can I help you?” she asked, smiling.

“Yes, I want the biggest bouquet, or whatever you have, for two Galleons. The nicest ones, too.”

“Of course,” the woman said, and she swept to the back of her shop, disappearing amongst the flowers. 

“Is it for someone you love or someone you wish to scare?” she asked.

Ron stared for a moment. Then shaking his head, said, “My girlfriend.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

Ron stared for another moment, opened his mouth, closed it, and then said, “Something nice.”

“Of course.” The woman then swept in and out of vines, elaborate chain bouquets, picking this, plucking that. Ron decided he was safest waiting at the counter. Last time he’d been in here, this woman hadn’t been there. In fact, on the multiple occasions he’d thought to buy Hermione flowers, they had been put together by a kind, normal witch.

After about five minutes, she came to the counter where she laid a bunch of unrecognisable flowers on a bunch of red paper. With her wand, she cut a piece of white ribbon and then waved her wand again. The flowers were immediately bunched and wrapped, and then tied. 

“Two Galleons, Sir,” the woman said. 

Ron dug into his pocket and passed over two Galleons.

“Have a good day, Sir.”

“Thanks,” Ron replied. “Er, you too.” He left quickly, hurrying down Diagon Alley with the flowers clutched in his hand to the entrance to their flat. Hermione would be home from work by now.

He made his way up the stairs with an aroma of smells making the short journey pleasant. Those who lived in the neighbouring flats always cooked something nice and it made his stomach growl in anticipation. Unless they went to the Burrow for dinner, he and Hermione didn’t eat as well as the neighbours ever did.

He used his wand to unlock the door and was immediately greeted by Hermione’s beaming face right in front of him. She was so close, he was forced to take a step back through the door. 

“I was beginning to wonder where you’d gotten to,” she said, and her eyes fell on the bunch of flowers still in Ron’s hands.

He passed them to her. “I got you these. I thought you might like them.”

Hermione accepted the flowers with a small smile on her face. She then looked back up at him. "What are these for?"

"Because I love you, and I wanted to," Ron said. "Though, the lady in the shop today was really odd. Probably won't be going back if she's there."

"They're beautiful," Hermione said, and then placed them on the table, almost discarding them. Ron might have been upset had he not bought them for her because he was feeling guilty to begin with.

Instead, he said, "What's got you in a good mood?"

"What do you mean?" Hermione asked, though there was no hiding her apparent excitement over something. 

"Well, you almost knocked me over when I came in, and you just threw those flowers to the side like they were nothing. You seem happy about something, and I don't think it's just because I came home."

Hermione watched him for a moment, as if contemplating something. A smile still played on her lips, though her expression had turned serious.

"Out with it!" Ron demanded. "Did you get made Minister for Magic or something?"

"Of course not," Hermione said, and she led him over to the breakfast table. "I just… I have a proposal for you."

"A what?" Ron asked, his head snapping to her as she all but pushed him into the chair.

"A proposition. An idea. A thought. Whatever you want to call it." Hermione sat in the opposite chair, though Ron now watched her warily.

He didn't think she meant the word proposal literally, but it was all that was on his mind these days. He couldn't really see what else she might have meant. Had he waited too long? Was she becoming frustrated with not getting married? After their unexpected talk at Percy's wedding, had she decided to take matters into her own hands? 

"Well?" Ron asked after she didn't speak. "What do you want to say?"

"I've been thinking," Hermione began, "ever since we talked about it at Percy's wedding."

Dammit. 

"What about that?" Ron asked, feeling his chest tighten a little. If she got too far into things, maybe he should just blurt it out over top of her. He wanted to do it. 

"Big decisions," Hermione said. "The next step. I have been thinking about the first one."

"Oh?"

"Why don't we get a house together?"

Ron paused. His eyes scanned the flat they were sitting in, with the bedroom off to the side, the living space, the kitchen… he looked back at her, not sure whether he felt relieved or disappointed that she hadn't suggested marriage. 

"But… we have a house." It was a dumb comment, because he knew what she meant, but…

"Not one that's ours," Hermione said. "Not one we've bought, not one with a garden, lots of rooms… not one for the future."

The future.

The words sounded good to his ears. A confirmation that everything he was doing, everything he had planned, really was worth it. Even if he had to wait a little bit longer, they still had a future. A long future, he hoped.  

“I’ve been thinking about it a lot,” Hermione continued, and she seemed delightfully happy that Ron couldn’t help but smile. “Even before we discussed it a few weeks back. This place is cramped — even for the two of us — and… well, I really like the idea of planning the future with you, and I think this is a good first step.”

“A big decision,” Ron said. 

“But a smaller, big decision.”

They were silent for a moment. The idea of living in a bigger place with Hermione was greatly appealing. They’d always known that this flat wouldn’t be forever, and if he was being honest, he’d always imagined getting a place somewhere secluded, somewhere in the middle of nowhere. A bit like the Burrow or Shell Cottage. 

They could do magic freely without the risk of Muggles seeing, and, well… it would be a good place to raise children, and he was extremely confident that that was one of the things Hermione was alluding to when she spoke of the future.  

“What do you think?” Hermione asked. “I know it’s convenient here — it’s close to everything, but we can Apparate, Floo, all that kind of stuff. Wherever we live, we’d arrange connections to everywhere important via the fireplace.”

“Yeah…” Ron said. “That would be nice.” He smiled at her, suddenly feeling delusionally happy. He loved living with Hermione. Waking up next to her everyday, or stumbling into the kitchen on weekends after she’d already been up for an hour, seeing her messy, unbrushed hair, in her pyjamas… cuddling her at night before they fell asleep…

There was nothing more calming than knowing she was always there.

It seemed like the next step, naturally.

“Let’s do it!” he said after a moment. “A house of our own. One we can add our own touches to.”

Hermione’s smile widened. “This is so exciting!” She then flushed, sheepishly taking out her wand. “I’ve, um… been looking already. Just a little bit.” And before them appeared some newspapers — reminding Ron from when he was back in Grimmauld Place and they were looking for this flat. 

Ron liked the sense of normalcy to it all. Three years ago, he had been convinced they’d all be dead, so to be sitting at a table talking about something as simple as a house was the best feeling. 

“You wouldn’t be the Hermione I know and love if you hadn’t already researched  this,” Ron said, drawing some of the newspapers towards him. He paused at the first one, his smile faltering for the first time. 

“What?” Hermione asked. “I know it’s in a Muggle area, but I thought —”

Ron shook his head. “It’s not that. Wherever you go, I go. It’s just...” It hadn’t occurred to him until he saw the large number in the advertisement. This was going to cost money. Money he was already spending on an engagement ring. 

“We can afford it,” Hermione said gently, seeming to understand his hesitation. “It’s alright.”

Ron looked up from the paper to her. Why was it that whenever he thought something wasn’t going to work, he could just look at her and it didn’t matter anymore? 

Wherever you go, I go. 

“It’s going to be tough until training’s finished,” Ron said. 

“But we can manage. I’ve done the calculations. It’s okay.”

Ron nodded, and Hermione reached out to grab his hands. He squeezed hers tightly. “Then let’s do this,” he said.

How could he say no? Even if it meant he had to take another look at the ring repayments to ensure that they really could afford it. And what if he couldn’t? What was he supposed to say to Hermione then?

She smiled at him again and suddenly, his decision was easy. Who needed to be married? He had everything he wanted sitting at the table with him. 

And it was just about to get a million times better with their first big decision. 

[tedturneriscrazy]

And here we are with Yesterday's Lie, the season 2A finale!

Wow, this came up quick, huh?

Anyways...

What are you doing with all that, not-Luz?

(Also, cute photo of younger Luz. She had hair!)

That musical cue when not-Luz adjusted her hair was rather unnerving

Judging by Camila's reaction to that box being set out, she wasn't lying when she said she loved Luz's creativity

Freeing the rabbit from the trap did a lot to establish more of Camila's character. I'm glad we're finally getting more of her.

OH SHIT REAL LUZ IN THE MIRROR

"Are you sure this isn't gonna blow our faces off?" "Nope!"

That's a rather eclectic collection of ingredients for the door

I wonder if Amity also provided the abomination head

Group hug❤

There's the trailer shot

You only appear in reflections, huh? Interesting...

Jeez, Luz, priorities!

(Oh who am I kidding, the fact she's still thinking about her girlfriend is adorable)

I do love it when her accent comes through

Whoops, looks like wherever this is the magic of the Isles doesn't reach

Previously unmentioned dad whose face is obscured in the photo

GASP

Spider-Man moment

Oh, voice change in not-Luz!

Classic "I ain't goin' back, man!" moment

Also, it's beta Luz's bat!

"Monster Slayer Academia" I'm not entirely sure that doesn't actually exist...

"I will never understand anime..."😂😂😂

Oh, true form time!

Vee's gonna be a fan favorite, isn't she? (I ask, full well knowing the answer)

I mean, I've already seen plenty of Luca x Owl House fan art, so I imagine that may intensify

Luz seems to be quite understanding all things considered. I suppose all the people in the "Doppelganger isn't evil, actually" camp have been vindicated.

Oh, Eda

I don't think I like that camera...

So Gravesfield, Connecticut, huh?

Welp, there's a statue of a man that's probably Philip Wittebane

Oh, partially transformed Vee is gonna be irresistible to fanartists

Witch obsessed guy? Pamphlets? Hmm...

Wait, MARILYN?! As in Stan's ex?!

(I know she wasn't actually since the two shows don't take place in the same universe, but no way that nod wasn't deliberate)

"She tried to pay for a latte with a live raccoon" Eda I'm saying this in the nicest way possible: What the fuck

Those rats...buh

"BREAD OF WISDOM GRANTS US SPEECH! WE DESIRE MORE!"

Can't say I don't relate to Vee wrt confrontation

Luz has definitely had some...previous experiences with other kids. Creepy talking rats? Yes. Human high schoolers? No thank you.

Oh, fellow campers! Luz isn't the only one who had off-screen experiences.

That reading seemed...ominous

Right...contacts...

Side note: seems like that camp doesn't stomp out weirdness as thoroughly as previously speculated

Oh shit it's Sonic the Hedgehog! I mean Warden Wrath! I mean Roger Craig Smith!

I saw someone take issue with how Vee reacted to Luz running away to the Demon Realm, but considering her past experience and trauma, her reaction is understandable

Belos I don't care how much of a foxy grandpa you are, you fucking suck

"Skin's sure weird!"

She took the day off work to drive "Luz" to camp I just😭

Whether you think camp was a bad idea or not, Camila's a good mom

Oh dear, Sonic is a conspiracy bro

I guess we know who set up that camera. And the traps.

Oh, seems Eda didn't have elixir with her on one of her trips to the human realm...

"After watching a few Mew-tube videos I learned the truth!" Yup he's a conspiracy bro. Goddamnit, Sonic!

(I can rag on Sonic the Hedgehog all I want, I've been into the games since the Genesis days, well before most of y'all were even born)

Luz having a "BOI" moment

This guy definitely watches Alex Jones. Props to the TOH crew for teaching a new generation about these conspiracy creeps.

Vee is accustomed to a life on the run, but apparently not with Luz's determination and quick thinking.

Also, all this talk about being "outed?" Yeah I'm definitely seeing the trans allegory everyone's talking about.

Now Luz turns to the one person who can help

That "boop"❤ (Now we know where Luz gets it from)

Camila not believing all the Demon Realm stuff. Shocked. SHOCKED, I say.

Well shit, Camila's been a veterinarian all this time! Don't we all have egg on our faces!

It would explain how Luz is so good with animals

Sonic the Curator sure is something, huh

The scary thing is that there are people like him in real life. Worse, even.

Okay, I know this is a dire situation, but I am enamored with Camila's mom energy here. She's adorable.

Dude with a ponytail and cardinal on his shoulder to send the theorists in a tizzy. It'll be interesting to see how this all eventually comes together.

I just realized that that's a training wand on the table

And now Camila realizes this is no game

Further props to the TOH crew for making the antagonist of the episode a crackpot white dude. This is correct.

Yup, further trans allegory. Plus a nice example of a supportive-if-not-quite-understanding-everything parent.

And there's Camila going ham on a motherfucker. Turns out there was no lie in the "Two Truths and a Lie!" Rather, the lie was that there was a lie in the first place...My brain hurts.

Oh, she can appear in the rain. That's cool!

Now is time for Real Sad Hours

The way Camila is reacting...god...it hurts...

"Is this the only way I can touch you?" STOP😢

"Staying here was the best decision I ever made!" Uh oh...

That promise is totally not gonna come back up later in the most tragic, gutwrenching way possible. Nope. Nuh uh. No way that'll happen.

Dammit, Luz, not more lies! Oh, right. The episode title.

Her face really says it all.

Well, it wasn't quite the continuous pain train we convinced ourselves it was gonna be, but that ending? Ow. I'm glad Vee has the support she needs, but my heart hurts for the Nocedas. I really hope they can resolve the issues they clearly still have, because damn.

And now we get to chew on all that for the next however many months! Hooray! I knew I said I was ready for a hiatus, but it turns out I'm a big fat liar, because I'm not! Augh!

Well, I'll try to look on the bright side: At least my sleep schedule can normalize again? Also I can cancel my Sling subscription once 6-10 drop on D+. Neither DisneyNow nor Sling are optimal VOD experiences.

[messymessyml]

Sometimes a premonition is destined to happen

Hi all, 

This is the craziest thing I’ve written in a long while and the strangest part about it is that my top three oddest pieces of writing have all had a Greek Mythology worldbuild. It’s what the ancient Greeks would have wanted.

This is my Secret Santa 2020 gift for @bunathebunny and my prompts were ‘Percy Jackson AU’, ‘turning into cats’, ‘no soulmate AU’,  ‘Jason x Luka’, and ‘Stephanie x Marinette’. There were a few other requested ‘fors’ and ‘against’s’ I was able to include here, but I have to say, this was the most reader-specific thing I think I’ve ever tailored. I hope you like it!

FYI: “~~” indicate POV changes, and while I ended up breaking this into chapters, this is essentially a oneshot. I curse when Jason is the narrator since I can’t see Jason as Jason without it so if that’s not your thing be forewarned. This is also cross posted on AO3.

@maribat-secret-santa-2020

Chapter 1

The camp was noisy, with people’s inner songs reaching out to the treeline in a mess of chaotic synergy. Word had arrived that Artemis and her hunters had just reached the outer edges of the barrier around the camp and the camp-goers who were not busy with sentry duties or away from camp were frantically working to put the finishing touches on the new lodgehouse erected for Artemis’s feast. Artemis was one of the more frequent godly visitors to Camp Half-Blood, but it was rare that she deigned to make the visit official, much preferring to conceal herself as another half-blood or a visiting instructor under a different guise. As son of Apollo, Luka was aware of a more mischievous side of his father’s twin sister, and the grating cacophony of sound combined with the foreboding feeling he felt down to his bones stemming from this impending visit was just on the edge of overwhelming for him. 

Finding a quiet area was relatively easy, all told, though his senses tried to disagree with him as they quailed from the near sensory overload all he had to do was move to the outskirts of the lake as he followed a very familiar and well worn path. As Luka approached his boyfriend’s House, that marrow-ache he always felt from prophesy tightened in tandem with the relief that enveloped him as blessed silence cloaked him in it's comforting embrace. It seemed that the adventures of today wouldn’t be as easy to dodge as he’d hoped, but it was comforting to know that his boyfriend would be along with him for the ride.

~~

Jason was having a no-good gods-be-damned day. 

He’d been woken by Emma and Darcy who had managed to get into what appeared to be no holds barred fight to the death a four in the fucking morning. Emma, the eastern screech owl he’d found a few years before making his way to Camp Half-Blood, was hooting up a storm and fluffed to Elysium while Darcy, the mustard-bellied snake Luka had given him about a year and a half into their relationship lunged at Emma’s clawed legs with his teeth extended. Suffice to say, he wasn’t happy to wake up like that, and it served them both right that they were now separated on either ends of his lodge by a verifiable army of skeletal mice. It made a sort of macabre justice to see them cornered and policed by their own undead meals as he had left his lodge after breaking up the fight. 

He was currently in the mess hall grabbing food, but it wasn’t much of an improvement over his living quarters. The raucous environment grated on his ears after a less than full night’s sleep and the fact that it was mostly the higher pitches of the girls making most of the noise didn’t help matters. The porridge he’d grabbed was looking less appetizing by the minute. 

He’d just decided to give up on his breakfast when Jason heard a familiar voice call out “Hey bozo, whatcha up to this fine morning!” at the same moment another body hit his side. Jason faintly registered the girl who hit him let out an “oops'' as this action pushed his hand into his spoon and sent mush into his face. Miraculously, not a drop landed on the perpetrator, which gave Jason enough of a clue to know the identity of both the girl hanging from his shoulders as well as the girl still approaching from behind him. 

“What. The. Fuck.”, Jason deadpanned. Taking a napkin from the center of the table, he did his best to wipe up the mess even with his tag-along making the stretch all that more difficult.

“Aww, don’t be like that, Jay. Marinette didn’t mean to do it, you know that.” Saying that, Stephanie slid on to the bench on his other side, leaving Marinette to cage him in from the right.

“Sorry, Jason. Next time I’ll check my landing!” Marinette added with a cheeky little grin.

The nerve. Jason couldn’t really say this minor level of chaos was out of the norm for his friends, but after his early wake-up call Marinette’s clumsiness wasn’t appreciated. 

“Why the fuck are you two so energetic today? For that matter, why are all the girls acting like Eros came for a visit?” Jason asked. 

Marinette piped up stating, “Artemis and her hunt are set to arrive today! Steph and I aren’t on sentry duty so we won’t get to join the welcoming party, but that just means everyone who isn’t on duty can join Artemis on her hunt later today!”

“I think she’s looking to recruit some new huntresses, and after her last visit to the Amazons, this is the next spot scheduled.” Stephanie confided. “Obviously everyone only means all the girls, so that’s why you’re hearing mostly girls talking about Artemis’s visit.”

“Knowing your luck, you’ll be offered a spot and rope Steph here into joining too.” Jason directed to Marinette with a raised eyebrow. 

“I may have luck on my side, but I doubt Steph or I will actually join.” Marinette responded, continuing over his head with a smile, “I’m too happy with you to give all this up.” 

Jason could see Steph smile from the corner of his eye as he wiped the last of the oatmeal from his face as she replied, “Babe you and me both.” 

“Not that this isn’t exactly what I want to hear before eight in the fucking morning, but I need to get back to my cabin; I left Emma and Darcy in time-out and I need to re-up the power behind the undead mice keeping them away from each other.” Jason reluctantly got out.

“Ha, what the fuck? I thought those two got along, did they decide to wake you up, Mister Grumpypants?” Stephanie teased him even as Marinette relinquished her vice hold and scooted to the side to let him up. 

“Sure as the Underworld, they decided 4AM was the best time for it. I swear, good ole pops must have remembered I existed for once and decided to have E and D play messenger or somethin’.” Jason grumbled as he got up and grabbed his tray. 

“Don’t be a stranger! You won’t like the consequences, Jay!” Stephanie called out.

“Yeah-yeah-yeah, I got it. See you guys.” Jason said as he waved over his shoulder and dropped his bowl off at the clean up station on the way out.

Jason made his way back home, not in a hurry to arrive but not making any stops on the way. His father didn’t do him any favors in the PR department, and most camp-goers avoided him on principle. It wasn’t like there were many demigods with Hades as a father, and most avoided children of the Big Three out of practicality if not fear. Jason soon found himself entering his cabin, pleasantly surprised to see his boyfriend Luka calmly sitting waiting for him on the bed, gently strumming his guitar. Less pleasantly, it seemed his broken concentration at breakfast cost him a few skeleton mice enforcers whose bones were strewn across the floor and a clear path of destruction was shown leading from the corners each animal were previously penned into to the center of the room. He couldn’t see any blood and it looked like Luka had been able to calm them down as Emma and Darcy were now perched on his shoulder and leg, respectively, but it didn’t take a genius to see that they both weren’t done fighting.

“Hey love, I didn’t expect to see you until later today, what had you up so early?” Jason queried.

Giving one last strum to his instrument, Luka pulled a hand away to capture Emma in one hand, preventing her from diving down to the snake anklet just visible from under Luka’s pant leg. Darcy seemed content to stay where he was curled around Luka’s warmth. Sometimes it was eerie watching his boyfriend’s knack for precognition in action. Mostly, it got him hot.

“There were too many conflicting songs near Apollo’s cabin this morning so I woke up early. I came over here for some peace and to see you.” Luka calmly replied.

Nodding, Jason moved over to the washbasin, washing his face and hands, a simple “wait a sec” enough for the time being. He wanted to hug his boyfriend, gods dammit, but he didn’t want to do it with porridge on his body. 

“Marinette struck again.” Jason complained, “She managed to land on me without me hearing her or her shadow reaching me first and got me covered in my breakfast. Not a drop landed on her, Luka! Luck shouldn’t be that powerful, babe.”

Luka’s eyes twinkled as he grinned and said, “What did you expect, mon beau, she is the daughter of Tyche.”

“The minute she and Steph got together it seemed they were a match made specifically to punish me. I swear, if Steph uses her powers on me one more time to rig another prank in her girlfriends favor, I will fill her bed with dancing bones.” he said as emphatically (read: dramatically) as he could.

“Sounds like a plan.” Luka full-out grinned, hardly able to get the words out. Once he’d gotten a bit of a handle on his response, Luka continued, “What do you say about joining me on our date a little early? Since we’re both up, let’s try to get to the river fort a little early; we might be able to watch the hunt from that vantage without incurring Artemis’s wrath.”

“Ugh, yeah, lemme just…” Jason said as he pulled power from the ground, focused on the mice bones scattered around his cabin. Commanding the dead to do his bidding wasn’t all that hard, but he wanted to make sure both Emma and Darcy stayed away from each other so he also instructed the shadows to form a barricade, making sure that the shadows understood that they needed to remain opaque and in between his companions while he was gone. That done, he turned to Luka and caught the tail end of his softened expression which never failed to soften his own brow in return. 

“Ready, love?” Jason asked.

“With you? Always.” Luka replied.

Chapter 2

Jason found himself following after Luka as he moved through the forest like he belonged. Most of the time, he found himself bringing up the rear as it was easier for him to keep in contact with the shadows a step or two away from his child-of-the-sun boyfriend. Jason felt more secure being able to keep in touch with his shadows as they acted as an early warning system for any ambush. His time on the run while he made his way to Camp Half-Blood gave him a healthy dose of fear for the unknown and a respect for the utility of his powers to keep himself and others safe. With how distracted people had been that morning, there was no telling what might have slipped past the sentries divided attention. 

Luka was up ahead, likely channeling the song of the forest as he usually did on these hiking dates of theirs. Today’s melody was a bit more playful, with individual notes that rang out loudly every few chords. With one last set of instructions to the shadows, Jason left them and pulled abreast of his boyfriend.

“Were you able to eat before you made your way to my cabin, Luka? I didn’t see you in the mess hall.” Jason began.

Still strumming, Luka responded, “No, I had a feeling that we should stay together today and try to get to the fort by the waterfall as quickly as possible. It feels like one of those omen-filled days.”

Small chills went down his spine as Jason digested that information. The fort was pretty far away from the residences and probably the furthest training ground in Camp Half-Blood. They would sometimes go to it on their days off since the location was hardly ever visited so he hadn’t thought much when the spot was originally proposed, but Luka’s intuition was never to be taken lightly. Even though they’d been walking for an hour or so, talking or enjoying each other’s presence, there was still a way to go to reach the fort. Time to get a move on, then.

“In that case, babe, let’s get moving.” saying that, he placed his hand on Luka’s hand holding the guitar, making eye contact, and after a gentle squeeze he let go.

~~

Luka knew that the music would have helped, but he was weak. They’d been dating for over three years at this point and friends for almost five and he was still weak to those eyes.  Sometimes Jason seemed to reach inside his chest and squeeze his heart to pulp, the only thing left the breath in his lungs calling him to sing. Sing his feelings and leave all else to the wayside. 

It meant he wasn’t paying attention to where he was going.

It meant he didn’t feel fate grab hold.

Jason with laser focus on the path ahead and him with his head in the clouds, it meant they stumbled upon the hunt in progress without realizing it. 

~~

Chaos. Stephanie couldn’t have stopped the trainwreck that just happened to save her life. Unfortunately, her friend’s lives might be at stake at this point, so that just wasn’t gonna cut it. Time for damage control.

Stephanie and Marinette had joined the hunt after Artemis called for volunteers for the day stating that a training session was in order. They’d been tracking the golden buck that was the star of the hunt for almost two hours at this point and it was getting close to midday. The sun was shining almost directly down on the buck as it paused in a clearing where the animal trail intersected with one of the paths more commonly used by camp-goers. Stephanie and Marinette were shadowing Artemis while Artemis’s third-in-command waved three other girls to fan out to surround the clearing, both groups moving in tandem to corner the buck and lead him on a chase to the river. The purpose of the training exercise was to learn how to pursue large prey and tactically block all escape rather than a simple kill the buck, otherwise their team of demigods and goddesses would have finished the hunt over an hour ago.

Unfortunately, it seemed her dumbass friends didn’t get the memo and stumbled directly on the clearing, obscured from view until they were directly in the sunlight. As they came into view, the buck stiffened and the game was up; the buck’s nostrils flared and the animal ran in the exact opposite direction as intended, straight for Artemis. 

Artemis swiftly shifted from the red-haired youth she had chosen for the hunt to a body with an Amazonian stature, her hair shifting to a sleek brown and her features shaping into an adult countenance. The buck, startled, reared up and attempted to hit the goddess, hooves aimed to cut and bruise. Artemis swiftly moved around the buck’s shoulder, pulled a knife from its sheath at the base of her spine and slit the buck's throat as it’s feet came down, spasming as it fell to the ground.

Sternly, moving to face her friends, Artemis’s booming voice could be heard: “What nonsense goes here? Who are you to dare ruin this hunt?”

Stephanie bit her tongue to avoid speaking on their behalf. Her own powers beat with Artemis’s thirst to mete out her comeuppance on the boys. 

Her eyes cut from Artemis’s back to Jason’s as he straightened his spine and stepped further into the clearing to state: “Apologies, Artemis, we didn’t intend to interrupt your hunt. I was hiding myself and my partner in the shadows to avoid startling your prey, but it seems luck wasn’t on our side today.” 

“Son of Hades…” Artemis said thoughtfully. “Your father has been kind to my children lately. I may be lenient on your punishment because of this. However,” here, Steph could see Artemis’s head tilt to fully view Luka, “Apollo has been quite impertinent lately. You, I do not feel so kind toward. You, I may turn into a boar for today’s hunt and I might not guarantee your safe return to humanity.”

The threat hung in the air. Stephanie so badly wanted to intervene. Perhaps...her eyes cut to Marinette’s and a moment passed between the two. Darting her gaze to Jason’s, she mouthed the word ‘luck’ and ‘Tyche’ to her girlfriend, hoping Marinette would be able to pick up her plan.

“Artemis,” Stephanie spoke. “Perhaps a middle-ground would be satisfactory. Marinette over there is the daughter of Tyche and I am the daughter of Nemesis; perhaps she could help you verify their claim about luck and I could propose a suitable punishment?”

Artemis half-turned around to view her as she contemplated the offer, her eyes piercing as their color shifted with her thoughts. Stephanie could feel her breath catch in her throat as she waited for Artemis’s response. 

“Hmm, I suppose you all are still young, perhaps my usual punishments for men who interrupt a hunt can be bent.” Artemis’s gaze turned in Marinette’s direction. “What say you, daughter of Tyche? Are your powers strong enough to judge their statement true?”

Stephanie could see her girlfriend straighten her spine and tuck her chin determinedly before she replied, “Yes, I can do that.”

“And you will answer truthfully? You know I will know if you lie.” Artemis warned.

“Yes.” Marinette swore. 

“Hmm. Very well, show me your skills.” 

Marinette stepped forward, circling around the fallen buck and towards the boys. Jason was leaning just the slightest bit forward, while Luka seemed at ease. Stephanie’s eyes caught Luka’s and the amount of Zen in them was calming. Hopefully, he was calm because he had foreseen this gamble pay off. Stephanie could see Marinette’s hand raise to face their friends and a light pink glow started to emit from her hands, forming the Greek words for ‘ominous end’ over Jason’s head and ‘bright mayhem’ over Luka’s. Below, a timer formed, showing Luka’s current luck to have started at sunrise that morning, while Jason’s was marked in years, days, and hours. It wasn’t clear from what Stephanie could see whether Jason’s timer was moving backward or forward. It gave her chills either way.

Marinette’s voice rang out with her verdict: “Their luck was at fault today. It appears the Muses found these two to be fun to play with. Chance was at play.”

Shaking herself out of it, Stephanie stepped forward and pulled that sense of vengeance and judgement to the forefront of her mind as she spoke, “Since the hunt was not interrupted maliciously and was due to bad luck shared between the two, a shared punishment would be best. I propose the boy’s take the place of the buck in the hunt, but ask that they fall to no harm and their punishment ends at sundown. Do you agree this punishment is fitting, Artemis?” 

A mirthful chuckle left the goddess’s lips while a yelp exited Jason’s. Stephanie kept her eyes on the goddess’s; the boys were on their own if Stephanie let on she wasn’t as impartial as she wished to appear to be to the goddess.

“If a time limit is what’s called for, daughter of Nemesis, then so be it.” Artemis said. “I agree to your proposed punishment and am willing to ensure no permanent harm befalls them so long as they stay within the boundaries of Camp Half-Blood, but if we only have until sundown, they’d better work hard to keep the hunt challenging. You two won’t be prey animals, oh no, let’s see what predator’s you’ll be.” 

Artemis didn’t wait to hear from any of the campers present, including the boys, waving her hands in their direction even as Jason opened his mouth to argue. Jason’s comically open mouth shifted along with the rest of his body into the form of a mountain lion, leaving a large cat with a panting mouth in his place. Luka’s form shifted to that of a European lynx, even that unflappable friend of hers looking ungainly and awkward from the suddenness of the change. 

Both boy’s clothes and bags had disappeared in the shift and Stephanie couldn’t help hoping that they’d return with the boy’s human forms when they were changed back at sundown. She shuddered at the thought of leading two whining toddlers back to camp in nothing but their birthday suits, and if Luka lost that guitar he wouldn’t be able to play for her anniversary dinner with Marinette. There’s no way she’d be able to propose to Marinette without Luka’s musical help. Stephanie sent a prayer for continued good luck towards her soon-to-be mother-in-law, stepping back as Artemis said, “Let the hunt recommence!”

Chapter 3

This was worse than any stint he’d pulled in the Underworld. He’d lost Luka a while back when another hunting party found them. Luka had bounded for the trees and he’d headed in the direction of the river. His powers weren’t working in this form and it bit him pretty deep as it felt like an entire sense of his was missing. Since he’d ‘woken’ back up from his near perma-death after his mom had died and learned to access his control over the shadows and bones around him, he’d come to rely on them pretty heavily without realizing it. 

That was probably why he’d gotten Luka and himself into this mess in the first place; he didn’t realize that the clearing was entirely devoid of shadows and it was too close to midsummer for the clearing to allow him to hide in the shadows like he was used to. He’d managed to escape the hunting party on his tail but he was worried for his partner; moving in a new body and effectively becoming prey wasn’t exactly a walk in the park.

~~

Luka could tell that this series of events was what his intuition was telling him would happen when he woke up this morning. All told, it wasn’t the worst thing he’d ever gotten himself into, and it was kinda cool to be able to leap from tree to tree and traverse the forest at this pace. It seems like most of the hunters had moved towards the river, as he hadn’t encountered any other hunters after losing his tail near the cliff face further inland. He was currently making his way towards the fort, figuring Jason would manage to follow the river to their intended destination without too much worry. For now, he’d enjoy this new body and feel the new rhythm he could feel through his paws and his nose while he waited for sundown. 

~~

Fuck.

Fuckity fuck fuck. 

Claws were not for him. Whoever (read: himself and most definitely Steph) got him into this mess, they’d pay. That was the fourth hunting party he’d encountered and the second time he’d had to cross the river and backtrack to hide his tracks and he was sooo not down for the feel of wet fur. This just went to show how feathers and scales were so much better and why Emma and Darcy were the only pets for him; he could tell he wouldn’t want to pet an animal with fur for months after this.

Currently, he was hiding in a tree, taking a page out of his boyfriend’s book and hiding in the trees rather than at ground level. He could see Marinette and another girl from a different hunting party conversing about 10 yards away; there was no way he was getting down or giving away his position anywhere near where Artemis’s party could be found. That psycho goddess had it out for him, lenient his ass.

~~

Marinette could tell Jason was hiding in that tree, the water puddle slowly forming underneath him was a dead giveaway. She loved the goofball too much to actually hunt him though which was about the only bit of luck he’d seen today (she could tell). Honestly, he’d have been caught at least seven times by now if she hadn’t miraculously shifted the tides of luck surrounding him or redirected other hunters like she was doing now. Mirabelle was a nice girl, but a little too vicious to let her in on the game she was playing, so she was focused on sending her off on a wild goose (or cat) chase as soon as possible. 

“If we pincer attack, we can pin him down. “ a branch broke off from Jason’s direction and fell on the ground, causing Marinette to pause and do her best not to glare and give away the game. “...does that makes sense?”

“Yeah, I think the best bet would be for me to go down and try to pick up the trail, and run him back to you. Sounds good?” Mirabelle said.

“Yep, let’s do this!” Marinette sweetly smiled in reply.

Mirabelle nodded, turned, and Marinette watched her go, waiting until she was out of earshot to say, “You are the absolute worst human-in-cat-form I have ever seen.” 

Marinette marched over to Jason, seeing him freeze and look her dead in the eye. It wasn’t exactly easy to tell what Jason wanted to say, but she could fill in the gaps for him.

“You, monsieur, are going to give yourself away at this rate. I’d like to keep you in one piece if it’s all the same to you, so here’s what you’re going to do: head inland and away from the river. We were driving our prey towards the river to trap it, so any hunting party worth their salt will be crawling along the riverbed. You are going to head to the fort upstream and hide; not many other camp-goers go there as frequently as you and Luka do and it’s your best chance to stay out of Artemis’s sight. Stephanie and I will continue to run interference, but you are acting like a teenager going through a growth spurt with how clumsy you’ve been, and that’s saying something coming from me!”

The big cat scoffed at her, but leapt to the next tree, struggling a bit to land gracefully but not with too much trouble and continued on like that further inland as directed. Marinette didn’t watch for too long; she had a job to do.

~~

Luka ends up outpacing most of the hunters he’s encountered, but one is hot on his tail, following him at forest level as he makes his way through rocky outcrops to the fort. He’s not sure if it’s an official member of the hunt or another camp-goer, but he tries his best to wind his way  around boulders and choose outcroppings that blend in with his fur color to avoid his pursuer. 

Taking a small break, he waits in the shadow of an outcropping, watching. His pursuer is good; that he can tell, and he doesn’t want to lead them directly into the fort and make it even hard on him and Jason to get through this debacle. It seems, it’s time to call for help.

“Apollo, hear me please. Your companions the Muses have struck a game between Artemis and I, and I need your help. Grant me aid avoiding my pursuer.”

“Luka, son of mine.” Apollo’s amused tone filtered through his mind. “You’ve gotten yourself trapped by one of Artemis’s hunter’s I see. Very well, I will help you this once, but I will be joining as a spectator for this one. Artemis’s main trouble is with me, after all, and I’d like to see her face when she realizes you’re under my direct protection.”

Soon after, a flash of light appeared, blinding his pursuer, and Luka moved onward while she was distracted. 

~~

It was close to sundown, and Jason was finally in reach of the fort by the waterfall. After his encounter with Marinette, he’d seen evidence that Stephanie was also redirecting heat away from his passage through the forest, but it was still slow going. His bulk had almost ratted him out more than a few times, and he’d taken to any groundcover he could when possible as it was almost impossible for him to figure out how to move through the trees without sound. He was stealthy enough on two legs to give assassins a run for their money, but put him on four legs and he was worse than a toddler was at stealth. He hadn’t seen Artemis since the beginning, but knowing his normally catastrophic luck, that was only due to Marinette’s aid. 

Crawling forward, he inched his way around the watering hole below the waterfall in the direction of the fort, when suddenly an arrow passed in front of his paw and hit the stump he was crouched by….Clearly, Marinette’s blessing was wearing thin. Taking his chances, Jason bolted.

Arrows pelted behind him, and the aim they held was mocking in its accuracy. Just close enough to scare but not close enough to injure. The direction they came from was just as confusing as they seemed to originate from the water. 

Diving behind another tree, this time close enough to the fort to see his boyfriend peering from the battlements, he peered out in the direction of the water to see none other than Artemis hovering in place, this time in a blended form that combined the youthfulness and agelessness of the two forms he encountered her in earlier. She was also holding a really fucking scary recurve bow, so there’s that. 

“Come out and play, kitties. You know you know a good hunt is part of your deal with me.” Artemis crooned.

Jason wasn’t fucking moving, dying was not part of the deal. Unfortunately, it seems his slow arrival also allowed Artemis to set up an ambush as two women lept at him from the shadows (the traitors, he was going to train so much to overcome this dependency he’s built on them), forcing him to emerge. Jason kept his eyes pinned to Artemis, even as he heard others leave their hiding places to encircle the clearing at the base of the waterfall. 

He was trapped.

~~

Luka watched as his boyfriend was driven into the open. He was also being ushered out of the protection of the fort and into the open himself.

“Now would be a good time, dad.” he whispered his prayer.

~~

Marinette was about to lose the game she’d decided to play, and she was NOT happy. Nothing she could really do about it; she could see that the balance of luck and fortune were too stable to shift. 

She was so focused on trying to parse the threads of fate that she almost missed the flash of light that signaled Apollo’s arrival. Marinette did see Artemis whirling around to glare at the newcomer, though, a bright man in a Hawaiian shirt and chacos. Apparently, being a deity did not automatically give you god-tier fashion sense. 

“Artemis, dearest, what’s this I hear about a grudge against my son and his partner? I thought you left the animal transformations back in the Hellenistic period.” Apollo drawled. 

“You! I can’t believe you have the audacity to show up now of all times! Where have you been?” Artemis yelled.

“Sometimes a god has to go on vacation too;  you — of all of us — leave Olympus the most, dearest, so I assumed you’d understand.”

“Sometimes?! Sometimes doesn’t happen midway through a war council when you’ve promised to share a prophecy pertinent to the fight at hand! Ares about had my head about wasting the council’s time on petty matters because you flaked out to — where, Tahiti???”

“What can I say? Sometimes the sun in this hemisphere just isn’t it. I’ve got to share the light with everyone.”

“Apollo, you — !” screeching, Artemis brought her bow to bear on Apollo, shooting faster than even the demi-gods present could see.

Apollo was shifting around, using the last rays of the day’s light to bend away from her arrows, periodically reminding her “This is Camp Half-Blood, dearest.” and “You don’t want to hit one of your precious hunters, do you?”

Giving one last yell of frustration, Artemis released her quiver and lowered her bow and arrow, pinched her brow and said through gritted teeth, “Apollo, you insufferable child. You. Are. Coming. To. Olympus. With. Me.”

With a brief glance at the sky and a one-handed vice grip on Apollos bicep, Artemis stated, “A fine hunt, your debt is repaid.” Then she waived her hand towards the big cats seemingly frozen in place and teleported away. 

~~

Stephanie was closest to Jason and saw as his form crumpled to the ground, shifting back into human form. Stephanie ran to help him up even with the shadows swarming around him as his powers returned in a sudden influx. She grabbed him and hoisted him up onto his feet, keeping her hands firm and grounding while he readjusted to his normal form again.

Stephanie just thanked the gods that her friends weren’t naked after returning to normal.

“You two need to stop getting into so much trouble; you’re lucky Marinette and I were there to help.” Stephanie commented, finally releasing her hold on Jason to let him stand under his own power.

“Yeah, fuck you too.” Jason growled out.

~~

Luka picked himself off the ground, checking his guitar for any damage. He saw Marinette approach from the corner of his eye with her palm facing him, granting him good fortune, so he wasn’t too surprised that he couldn’t find any damage to his instrument on close inspection.

Luka glanced up at her and said, “Thank you, Melody. This day would have turned out much worse without your help.” 

Marinette just smiled softly at him in return. “Let’s go home.”

[incorrectlumityquotes]

FULL REVIEWS: “Wing It Like Witches”

Damn, that last episode was something. It was so much of something that the hype for this episode didn’t come until after they released a screenshot of Amity in the grudgby uniform. Everyone predicted that this was the episode that had Amity join The Owl House squad and...they were right. 

The Lumity Trilogy ends with a sports balls game.

The cold open starts with Boscha of all people. 

It’s grudgby season again and all I can think of is “Wow how lucky is Luz to enroll in Hexside during the semester where shit happens.” Is the first semester the boring one with no holidays and/or events?

Anyway, I grew up in South Texas where high school football was treated like the biggest deal. I get why Boscha is being treated the way she is, and so does she.

Boscha goes to school expecting a hero’s welcome, but gets pissed when the attention is given to Willow.

Willow tells Luz that ever since she patched things up with Amity, she’s been feeling more confident. That’s really good character development. Without her resentment toward Amity (who was her oldest friend), Willow feels like a weight has been lifted off her shoulders. All that hate and sadness was bringing her down, but without it, she’s free to blossom. 

I don’t mean to quote Penn & Teller but, “And then there’s this asshole.”

Boscha is so not okay with Willow being happy with herself and just picks on her harder. Especially since it’s grudgby season and she knows she can get away with it. 

Amity tells her to grow the fuck up, and Boscha lets it slip that ever since grom Amity has been “getting soft.” This does fucking nothing since Boscha literally spends all day following Willow and friends all day picking on them like crazy. Like damn bitch, don’t you have anything else do do? Don’t you have any life outside of Willow’s?

People ask why I don’t ship Willow and Boscha and this is why. I get enemies to lovers. I get the bully becoming the love interest. Hell, it’s happening with Amity right now. But this is too needlessly cruel for my taste. There’s not way the Defeat Equals Friendship trope is going to work here. Not for me. But hope comes in the form of a useless lesbian.

Amity literally gay panics after getting ‘nam flashbacks of dancing with the girl she likes in the moonlight. Luz asks Amity for help about Boscha, and based on Amity’s answer, I don’t think Amity has ever liked Boscha. She agrees that Boscha is difficult to tolerate. It’s even worse during grudgby season because it becomes all the thinks about. Luz gets the wrong idea from that.

After literally pelting Willow with garbage, Luz challenges Boscha to a grudgby match for Willow. Again Luz’s character flaw of overstepping her bounds comes back. She never even considers what Willow might want or the fact that Willow has never even played grudgby before in her life. And that’s when another of Luz’s character flaws comes back hard. This time it’s Luz expecting life to play out like a story, or more specifically, a sports movie.

Holy crap. Is that the thorn-vault? I’ve never noticed that before.

Luz thinks that if they just try really hard they’ll beat someone who has been excelling at the sport for years. No. That’s not how life works, sweetie. I’m starting to think that maybe Luz’s mom was on to something sending her to camp.

Luz manages to convince Willow and Gus to be on board, but Amity...

She’ll be in her bunk.

Meanwhile in the B-plot (that should be my t-shirt by now), Eda is talking about her time when she was star player of her grudgby team when Lilith makes an unexpected appearance to arrest Eda. Lilith notices that Eda is wearing her old ass grudgby uniform and Eda’s response made me laugh.

“No reason. It’s laundry day.”

Lilith gives Eda a quick reality check to remind her that while Eda was good...

Lilith was better.

This photo really confused me and took me a while to realize that that was Eda and Lilith. Lilith gave herself a serious make over after school. Straightened her hair, darkened it, got ride of the glasses. I didn’t even recognize her. 

Since we all got grudgby on the brain, Eda makes a bet. She’ll go with Lilith to The Emperor peacefully if she can beat her in a game of grudgby. Luz is always pulling stuff like this and it works out for her, so why not? Speaking of which.

Willow and Gus teach Luz about grudgby. Luz teaches Willow and Gus about montages and it does not go well at all. The grudgby, I mean. The montage was great. 

In fact it’s so bad that Willow confronts Luz about the thing I was just talking about earlier. You can’t just shonen hero through all your problems. Willow and Gus give up and just leave.

I hate comparing shows because I believe they should stand on their own, but this really does remind me of when Lotte got mad at Akko in Little Witch Academia: The Enchanted Parade. Being innocently insensitive plus expecting life to play out like a movie is not a good combo. 

Luz and Amity have a heart to heart. Luz’s character flaws do come from a place love. Willow is one of the best friend’s she’s ever had and it hurts to watch her get picked on. She’s not trying to make things worse but growing up on a diet of movies and cartoons, this is the only thing she can think of.

Amity reveals that she actually used to be a jock. No joke. She was the captain of the grudgby team before Boscha. But Amity decided to make the game all about her and her teammates got hurt. So felt so bad that she never played again. Amity is rough around the edges, but deep down she’s always cared about people.

Another gay panic later, and Luz gets the right idea this time. Luz forfeits the game and agrees to take all of Willow’s punishment so that Boscha will stop picking on her.

Bitch, works for me! Think fast!

Amity senses the obvious and immediate danger and goes for help. She reminds Willow and Gus that Luz always has good intentions and needs help because that’s what friends do.

This isn’t about “friendship” is it?

Gus and Willow show up to save Luz but you need three on a team. And in true sports movie fashion, the hero arrives in the eleventh hour to save the team. I.E. the only player who is actually good at the game gives the good guys a chance to win.

Let’s get it on!

It’s game on and for a bunch of nerds the game is actually pretty competitive. It’s a magic sport, so Willow focuses on the magic while Amity focuses on the sport. Luz being Luz, even congratulates the other players when they score. Luz discovers every RPG players favorite spell, fire. 

It looks like our heroes pull off the victory in true sports movie fashion when this happens.

I stand by what I said last time. Someone on The Owl House thinks Harry Potter is really fucking stupid. Boscha catches the rusty smidge which means she automatically wins and Luz let’s out two decades of Harry Potter frustration.

But she has a point. If the golden snitch gives your team 150 points and ends the game then the only way to play would be to play defensively and focus all your efforts on finding the snitch. It means there’s literally only one decent way to play the game if you want to win.

“That just invalidates all our efforts! If catching that thing is so important, why do anything else!? There’s no reason to watch any of the other players! THAT’S SUCH A STUPID RULE!”

You tell them, Luz.

But in a twist that everyone saw coming, all the other players (Skara, Cat, Amelie) all had so much fun playing that they invite Willow to join the team. Willow politely declines because Boscha.

But we can’t have Amity help with the season finale so she hurt her leg. Amity panics at the thought of Luz carrying her, so of course Luz picks her up.

“Oh. Wow. Sports.”

Speaking of sports.

It’s game on at The Owl House and Lilith and Eda have a one on one match that’s really close. Eda decides to cheat her way to victory until.

Dammit, Luz!

Eda wins and Lilith vows to return.

The episode ends with Amity joining the fam at The Owl House.

FINAL SCORE: 5 - LOVED IT!

This episode was the best of fun episodes combined with the development of Amity episodes and you get probably my favorite episode. This was so fun and touched on most of the major characters. Even the B-plot is important because now Lilith knows the location of The Owl House. The jokes were funny. It was cute. Just everything.

The Lumity Trilogy ends on a high note. Amity is officially crushing hard on Luz.