#we texted was saturday morning and now im. what

[honeekyuu]

genius. [akaashi keiji x f!reader] chapter two.

>>You struggle to pay rent on your limited graduate student salary, and your worst enemy agrees to help you out.

or

You realize you need to find a partner for your faceless porn account, and Akaashi Keiji is the only man who meets all your requirements.<<

series status: [ongoing]

taglist: [open]

@kodsuken @onlytendoguesses @kakeru-eem @itslawful @rikari0913

tumblr didnt let me tag some of you -- please check your settings and let me know :'))

previous. || masterlist. || next.

a/n: im never writing a 30k chapter ever again in my entire life. i hope you like it :))))

[feel free to buy me a cup of coffee!]

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Akaashi arrives on Saturday morning at 8am. You’re making coffee when he knocks.

It feels almost illegal to be filming porn so early in the morning, but Bokuto had texted a large group of people at 2am, inviting everyone to a party that same day, and you’d sleepily texted Akaashi instead of responding to the group message.

“Come over at 8 if you plan on going to Kou’s thing,” you’d said. It’s the only text you’d sent him after his impromptu video message, and you’d hoped at the time that he wouldn’t be offended by it. “Otherwise, come at 11 like we planned.”

“8,” is all he’d responded, and you’d gotten the feeling Bokuto’s text had woken him, too.

He looks exhausted when you open the door, and you latch onto that so as to not be overcome by the weird tingling feeling that’s starting to swirl in your stomach at the sight of him.

“Hi,” you say plainly, looking him over. He’s wearing a pair of grey sweats – a different pair than last night’s, you hope – and a black t-shirt, his hair falling into his eyes and his glasses barely staying on his nose. He’s got a duffel bag slung over his shoulder. You point to it now. “What’s that?”

“Three changes of clothes, so all the videos are different,” he mumbles, his voice tense. “Do you have coffee?”

You can’t help the smile that breaks out on your face. “Akaashi Keiji, are you a crabass in the morning?”

He rolls his eyes. “Do you have coffee or not, Y/n? Because I need to go to the shop downstairs if-” He points over his shoulder in the direction of the elevator, but you wrench the door open, waving him in with a laugh.

“I made it, I made it.”

He gives you a snippy hum and makes his way through the foyer, leaving his shoes behind as he moves to drop his bag by the couch. He goes straight to your kitchen, and you wonder if his usual polite tendencies only show themselves post-caffeination.

“Cup?” he calls from the other side of the wall, and you follow him in there, seeing that he’s opening all of your cabinets. 

You laugh. “I’ve never seen you not be a good guest-”

“Cup, please, Y/n – I’m dying.”

“Last one on the right.” You chuckle to yourself and open the fridge, pulling a bottle of cream out and leaving it on the counter. He meets you halfway, setting two mugs between you and reaching for the pot of coffee just as the machine is beeping its completion.

“Breakfast?” you ask, already reaching for the fridge again while he pours a heavy cup for each of you. You have eggs, and you’re sure there’s bacon in there-

“Do you have pop-tarts?” is all he says. You stay silent, just staring at him. He cuts you a tired glare. “Don’t look at me like that. I can’t be perfect all the time.”

You let out a breathless laugh. “Does anyone else know you’re this humble?” He takes a defiant sip of his coffee instead of answering you, sighing contently afterward. You move to your pantry, extracting a variety pack of pop-tarts. “Here,” you say, sliding it to him.

“Thanks,” he grumbles, poking through it and deciding quickly on the smores flavor. “I’ll get lunch. Chinese?”

“Free food is good food,” you respond, mixing your coffee with cream and sugar from the little jar on the counter. You watch him rip the plastic open with his teeth. “Do you need… I don’t know, a toaster or something?”

“Nope.” He talks through a mouth full of smores pop-tart and walks off, disappearing into the living room. You stare after him, laughing in shock as he goes. You’ve never seen Akaashi Keiji like this.

You move to the couch with your own pop-tart (strawberry) and sit on the opposite side. He already looks better, his fingers tangled in his hair as he chugs coffee that’s scalding hot.

You feel odd starting right away with a conversation about the filming plan, so you take a quiet sip of coffee. “So… how was your night?”

Akaashi chokes on pop-tart crumbs.

Your face burns with realization. “Oh– I…”

He shakes his head, laughing while he coughs. “You did that on purpose.”

“I didn’t!”

“How was your night?” he asks, meeting your eyes. You purse your lips – you hadn’t responded to his text, after all.

“It was… fine.”

“Fine, good? Or fine, bad?” You don’t answer, and he gives you a meaningful lift of his brows. “Some feedback would be nice.”

“Well, you let me know when you make your own porn account,” you joke. “I’ll be sure to leave a comment.”

“Hey, now.” He tuts and shakes his head. “I showed you what I thought of your video. I think a little reciprocity’s fair.”

“I’m about to take my clothes off for you,” you argue. “I think that’s your reciprocity.”

He hides his smile behind his hand. “Fair enough.” He downs the rest of his coffee and then sighs, a small smile tugging at his lips. “I needed that.”

“Clearly,” you mumble, leaving your own drink and pop-tart on the coffee table. “Better, crabass?”

“Better,” he says plainly, accepting the nickname. “What’s the plan?”

That quiet tingle returns, prickling in your fingertips and toes. “Uh…” You stand, moving toward your bedroom. “I suppose I should figure out what I’m wearing, but… generally, I was thinking we could film enough for three or four videos? I can fill the rest of the week in with solo videos.”

“Okay,” he says behind you, and you hear him stand and move to the hallway. “Is what I’m wearing now okay for the first one?”

You leave the door cracked while you change. “Yeah, that looks good!” you call, pulling out a yellow crop top and a black, lacy thong. You grimace down at the set. You usually don’t put much thought into your outfits, but having Akaashi here makes you a little self-conscious. “Which video should we do first?”

“Well, I’m not sure that 8am is the best time for freaky, screaming, headboard-slamming sex, Y/n.” 

You laugh to yourself. “Something softer? With the morning sunlight coming in through the window?”

“That sounds better. I’ll get the windows in the room.” 

You change into the set quickly and stand in front of your mirror, fixing your hair. You look down at yourself, turning back and forth, and decide to forgo the bra. There’s no point in it, but you do feel a lot more exposed now. “Are we gonna talk for any amount of time, or are we starting?” you say, a little louder so he can hear.

“We should probably figure out the order of the videos,” he responds, back in the living room now.

“Okay, then I’ll get a sweater.”

What you walk out in is more of a moomoo than a sweater, and Akaashi tells you as much.

“You look stupid,” he says, amused, when you stop outside your bedroom door.

“Be quiet – wearing nothing is a cold affair.” You scoop your coffee from the table and follow him toward the hall, but he stops before you can get there. You have a whiteboard hanging on the wall in the living room, one with your research ideas and spare thoughts. He takes the marker now, hovering over an empty spot, and looks down at you expectantly.

“Order?”

“Not on my precious board,” you complain, and he rolls his eyes.

“Fingering for the first one? And then I was thinking something with the desk,” he says, writing down the first point quickly.

“I think oral’s probably good. Both kinds.” When he grimaces, you nudge him. “Would you rather do isolated videos, or have me give oral as foreplay in every video-”

“Isolated sounds lovely,” he says quickly, starting to jot that, too, but you stop him with a slight laugh.

“Why don’t you like having your dick sucked, Akaashi? Is something wrong?”

“There’s nothing wrong with me,” he argues. “The attention’s just a little weird. I prefer doing other things with the time.”

You tilt your head at him, brows furrowed. “You feel weird about the attention?” He meets your eyes briefly, and you spot the scowl forming. “Sorry, have you never gotten good head before?”

“Shut up,” he bites. “I just get a little lost in my head. Makes it hard to enjoy it.”

You blink. You think you can understand that – having an overactive mind must make it hard to relax. You can’t say you don’t know what that’s like.

“Okay, then,” you say, taking the marker from him. “You just need to get out of your head.” You write ‘Give Akaashi Good Head’ under his first point, and he snorts.

“Good luck,” he mumbles.

“I don’t need luck,” you beam at him, confident. “What’s next? The desk?”

“I can eat you out there,” he says plainly, taking the marker back, and you’re suddenly caught off guard again by his jarring language, as though you hadn’t just done the same. You blink rapidly.

“O…kay. And then?”

He shrugs. “Bed? Sex?”

“Right,” you say, nodding. “Sex. Sure.”

He eyes you while he writes. “You’re getting nervous.”

“It registered while you were talking.”

“Registered for me last night,” he says, capping the marker and replacing it. “I’ll take over while you process.”

“Shut up,” you say weakly, letting him lead you down the hall anyway. “When’d you process? When you were coming to a video of me?”

He has the decency to blush. “Somewhere around there, yeah.”

You snicker, leaving your coffee on the dresser. “Shall we? Before I get cold feet?”

“Does your rent due date get cold feet?” he asks, moving to the chest. He extracts a small vibrator and a dildo, and then, after careful consideration, he puts the dildo back. He moves to the couch with the vibrator and settles down with a sigh. 

You nod at his question. Right. You’re here to make rent. This is a business arrangement. You can do this.

Your eyes scan the room. He’d popped one of the windows open and raised the blinds for all of them, making the room just a little chilly but overall comfortable and sunny. There’s a golden glow in the room, birds chirping peacefully, and you smile, pleased with the environment. 

“Okay!” You say, mostly to hype yourself up, and strip from the moomoo. You leave it on the bed, shivering slightly, and turn toward Akaashi. He’s looking at you blankly, but you can see a pink tinge in the tips of his ears. You take your phone to the tripod, bending at the waist to set the camera up. You change all the settings the way you like them, keeping him in frame to position the phone right. 

You realize upon glancing at him in the front view that he’s got his eyes on you.

“Are you staring at my ass?”

He jumps, meeting your eyes in the camera. And then he scowls. “Don’t scold me. I’m processing again.”

You snicker, shaking your head and pressing record before joining him on the couch, a good foot or two of space between you. “I’m just fucking with you.”

He eyes the camera, seeing both of your faces in frame. “You’ll crop it?”

“Zoom and crop,” you reassure. “I’ll even send you the login to my account so you can review the videos before they post.”

He nods, seemingly comforted by that. “‘Kay.” 

You swallow. “... ‘Kay.” 

It hits you in this moment that you haven’t been with a man in three years – and that Akaashi Keiji is one very handsome man.

He looks at you expectantly, lifting his brows. “Wanna start?” he asks, in a voice gentler than before – you’re struck with the thought that Akaashi is one of those men whose soft features make him all the more masculine. Long eyelashes that make his eyes darker, a lean frame that makes him tower over you, a voice so soft that the depth of it is striking.

You like men like that.

“Right.” You blink rapidly, panicking at the realization that he might just be your type. Panicking because you hadn’t noticed it before. “Okay. Uhm-” Your face warms, worsened when he starts to smirk. “Oh!” You say, an idea coming to you. “Music! Maybe music will help-” You rise, starting to question where you’d left your speaker, but Akaashi’s hand wraps tight around your wrist, warm and secure.

“God,” he says, laughing slightly. His grip drags you down, your knees hitting the couch and your body slumping against his. You yelp when you land, and he releases you in favor of sliding one hand around your waist and the other around the back of your neck, fingers tangling in your hair. “You’re a mess,” he jokes, his voice suddenly a lot closer than you’d prepared for.

When his lips touch your throat, the room starts to spin.

Your whole body breaks out in goosebumps, starting from the crown of your head and melting down over you.

“Oh,” you breathe, your head falling to the side all on its own, resting against his hand and giving him better access. He drags his lips across your throat, kissing the skin quietly and easing the tension in your muscles. You slide trembling fingers into his hair, holding tight as he uses the hand on your hip to pull you half onto him, your legs dangling between his knees. 

There are a hundred different sensations you’re struggling to come to terms with. Every touch of Akaashi’s skin to yours is new, because there’s never been a situation where you’d needed to make physical contact with him. His hands are large and his fingers are warm. His mouth is warmer, and his tongue and teeth send shockwaves down your spine with every pass and nip of your skin. His body is hard against yours, and, when your free hand searches for somewhere to anchor and lands on his bicep, you realize that Akaashi’s endless wardrobe of cardigans, sweater vests, and button-downs has done remarkable things to hide his physique. 

He’s strong, strong enough to hold you steady as you all but go limp in his arms. And his hair tickles against your skin, but it smells nice. He smells nice – he hadn’t put cologne on this morning, but he smells nice. And his eyes are dangerously blue when he pulls back to look at you, that deep blue that’s close enough to a dark green to be confusing in the golden light of the morning.

“Princess,” he whispers, and you start, staring down at his lips. They’re pink and look soft – they are soft, you register. You know that now. You know what his lips feel like. “Do you plan on doing anything at any point?” he asks, and you blink, meeting those blue-green eyes again.

Oh, right.

Right.

“Sorry,” you mumble. “Just… took me a second to get used to it.” 

He doesn’t quite smile, but it’s close enough. “Second’s up, darling. Take your shirt off.” 

You nearly laugh, your face warm, and then you shift, using your fingers in his hair to tilt his head away. “Gimme one more second.”

It is way too satisfying to hear the way his breath hitches when you press your lips to his throat. His skin tastes the way you imagined it might – like soap and salt, clean and chilled against your tongue. You let your hand roam his body while you kiss him, your teeth sucking marks into his skin while your fingers curve over his shoulder and across his chest. You wonder if he’s as affected by all of this as you are. If he’s as confused, if his nerves are as electrified by the newness of it. 

His fingers leave your hair to latch onto your leg instead, fingertips sliding across the skin as he runs his hand slowly up and down your thigh. When your hand drops to front of his sweats, he manages not to jump. His fingers dig into your skin, and he lets out a rough breath, but he manages to not make it look like you’ve never touched each other before. You palm him slowly, doing your best not to react when his cock jumps under your fingertips. You keep kissing him, palm tracing the outline of him as he grows hard at your touch, his breath short in your ears.

He doesn’t say anything else to you, only anchoring both hands to your waist after a moment and hauling you up. You gasp quietly, lifted and turned until you’re on your knees, straddling his thighs. He looks up at you, and you see that his eyes have darkened since you’d last looked at them.

“Take your shirt off,” he says again, and it’s not a joke this time. You cross your arms over your chest and hook trembling fingers under the hem of your crop top. Your stomach flips in a moment of nerves and anticipation, but you brush it aside, lifting your shirt clean over your head and dropping it to the couch. 

Akaashi’s fingers tighten on your waist, and you only have time to slide both hands into his hair before he leans forward and takes one nipple in his mouth. You gasp loudly, a quiet moan leaving you. He takes the other breast with one hand, sucking and dragging his teeth over one nipple while his thumb tweaks at the other. You moan louder, fingers tightening in his hair, and your thighs shake. You lose the strength to hold yourself up when, eyes shut and eyelashes fluttering prettily against his cheeks as he suckles you, he slides his hand blindly up your body and pushes his thumb against the seam of your lips.

Your knees give out, and you collapse into his lap with a breathy moan, the sound parting your lips and granting him the room to slide the pad of his thumb against the flat of your tongue. His head stays nestled against your chest, his ministrations never stopping, and you moan loud around his thumb – for the camera, because you realize suddenly that all that’s visible is your back and the supporting hand Akaashi has pressed to the center of your spine.

When the sound leaves you, admittedly a little performative, the rest of his fingers tighten around your jaw, and he releases your nipple from his mouth with a quiet pop. He lifts his head to meet your eyes, lips pink and wet, and he uses the thumb in your mouth and the fingers on your jaw to grip you, pulling you close.

“It’s annoying when you fake sounds like that,” he whispers, eyes hazy but piercing straight through yours. You stare back, your own eyes wide. He lifts a brow. “Understand?”

You nod back dumbly, and he pulls his thumb from your mouth. Both hands fall to your waist, and he mumbles ‘turn’ close to your ear. You let him turn you around, settling between his thighs with your back to his chest, your heart beating loud in your ears after the way he’d spoken to you.

“Do you need to fix the camera?” he murmurs against the shell of your ear, and you lean forward shakily, pulling the tripod closer and lowering it so only your mouth and below are showing. You relax your head against his shoulder, sighing nervously when he cups both breasts in his hands.

You arch your back a little dramatically, glad that he seems to realize that some things need to be performative, and spread your thighs, hooking them over each of his. He slides his hand up your chest and pushes the middle two fingers into your mouth. You wrap your lips around them, tongue swirling around the tips, and you hear his breath stutter in your ear. His hips push against your ass, and you realize with a rush of heat and a flip of your stomach that he’s properly hard now. 

You twist one of your arms behind your back and slide your palm against him carefully. He groans low against the side your head, pulling his fingers from your mouth. His hand falls to your pantyline, and he slips his fingers past while you’re distracted with touching him.

You jump when his wet fingers, cold from the air, make contact with your heated core. “Oh, my-” He swipes two tight circles over your clit before sliding his fingers through your folds, repeating the motion a few times – just the way you like it. 

He’d paid attention during that video last night, then.

“Mm,” you groan, feeling his middle finger push gently against your entrance. You grip him harder behind your back, and he shudders against you, his teeth grazing the tip of your ear.

“You’re really wet,” he breathes, teasing weakly. “How long’s it been, again? Three years?”

You arch your back, nearly distracted by the way he pushes his fingers through your folds. “Take your pants off, then. Let’s see how long you last.” 

You feel him grin against your ear, and that does something to the flip of your stomach and makes you twitch when he swipes the pads of his fingers over your clit. His free hand pushes at the lace of your panties.

“You first, princess,” he breathes, and you lift your hips in compliance. “Your viewers are gonna wanna see how you look with two of my fingers buried inside you.” 

Your heart explodes in your ears, and you go limp against his chest, your head turned and your face pressed to his neck when you moan weakly. He laughs quietly, jostling you and the million tiny needles pricking your skin as his comment sinks into you.

Akaashi gets your underwear off of you with very little help from you, and then he pries your thighs open with both hands, your whole body on display while he holds you, still fully clothed. “Shit,” he whispers to himself, fingers hooked behind your knees and pulling your legs open a little further. Your eyes flutter open, and you find his gaze flicking between the camera and your body, his lips parted as he looks down at you.

“Like what you see?” you whisper, pulling your arm out from behind your back and wincing when it aches. He adjusts you, sliding one arm around your waist and pulling you tight against him. The other lifts, the same fingers from before finding your mouth. You let him in, whining when you taste yourself on the pads of his fingers and shivering when he murmurs ‘there you go’ against your ear.

When his fingers find your core this time, all you can do is breathe out shakily and relax against him. He swipes twice and dips toward your entrance. You manage to keep the video in mind, arching your back and cupping your hands over your breasts, kneading and touching yourself for the camera. Akaashi nudges the tip of his middle finger past your entrance, and the moan that falls past your lips is breathless and shocked.

You purse your lips, your body trembling as it realizes that someone who’s not you is doing this. Akaashi pushes his lips to the crook of your neck and tries again, using two fingers to work you open carefully. Your breath is shallow and harsh in your chest by the time he gets both fingers inside you comfortably, his cock twitching against your back.

“God, you’re tight,” he breathes in your ear. The pads of his fingers brush up against the spongy spot that’s normally so hard for you to reach on your own. “You need to relax.”

“Trying,” you bite, breathing hard. “Your hands are a lot bigger than mi-mm-” You jerk when he starts to move, thrusting his fingers slowly and curling them inside you. “Fuck,” you breathe sharply, a rush of heat washing over you. He picks up the pace, flicking his wrist and snapping his palm against your skin. Your mouth falls open, breathy, high-pitched moans tumbling out with every push of his fingers into you, and your hips start to roll against his hand, entirely unconscious. You can’t remember the last time you’d gotten a stretch like this, and there’s a brief moment of insanity where you imagine calling Akaashi Keiji any time you need to get off.

It should be embarrassing, the way your body’s reacting, but your brain is full of static, and you can’t hear much aside from your own breathing and the low moans buried in Akaashi’s throat, quiet with each push of your core against his hand. He’s rocking his hips slightly against your ass, his fingers stalling and stuttering after a moment. He lets out a harsh breath on your skin, and you manage to crack your eyes open enough to see he’s got his eyes squeezed shut and his forehead pressed to the side of your head. His lips are parted, breath warm on your sweat-chilled skin, and, when your walls flutter around his fingers, his hips jerk against you, breath hitching on his inhale.

“Fuck,” he breathes to himself, his chest rising and falling faster now. “Fuck, fuck-” 

He reaches out blindly with his other hand, patting the couch frantically. You don’t have the energy to look, but the buzz of the vibrator coming close makes you whine. When it touches your skin, his fingers finding your clit with ease, your back arches and you cry out, the extra sensation too much.

“Oh, I’m- I’m gonna-”

Akaashi holds you tight, his lips brushing the shell of your ear as he whispers, “Come on, come on, come on, com-”

You gasp loud, twitching and jerking against him while you come around his fingers. There’s a warmth that spreads over your lower back, but you pay it no mind, your ears ringing too hard and your body shivering too much against him. 

Your hand clamps onto his wrist, pushing the vibrator just far enough away from your body that you can catch your breath. Heart thundering in your chest and throat, you focus on regaining control of your limbs, your fingers and toes numb.

You’re not sure how long you lie there, splayed open on Akaashi’s lap as you try to remember your own name, but you do shiver and whine when he pulls his fingers out of you slowly. He runs them through your folds one more time, the touch to your clit making you twitch against him again. He breathes a shaky laugh into your ear and rests his hand on your inner thigh, sighing quietly.

“How was that?” he asks roughly, his breath as unsteady as yours.

“Mhm,” you hum. “‘s good. Nice. Well done.” His laugh is delirious, and it draws your own spare breath into a tired chuckle. “Dude, I can’t feel my toes.”

He laughs harder. “I just came in my pants.”

“Is that what that was?” you ask, turning your head enough to look up at him. His cheeks are flushed a pretty red, and his eyes are glazed over slightly. You reach lazily behind you, fingers dipping into the wet warmth on your lower back. He gives a pained groan when you whisper ‘nice’ in a voice that’s horribly smug, and he scrubs the bottom of his shirt over your skin to wipe it away.

“I haven’t done that since I was a teenager,” he complains, dropping the vibrator on the couch and reaching for your panties. He helps you put them on, propping you up while you complain about being lifted. When you pull away from him, sitting up properly between his legs, he laughs down at himself. You look back, finding a wet spot on his sweats and his t-shirt stained with cum. 

He meets your eyes, ears burning. “You can’t give me head today. This is embarrassing.”

You laugh loudly, turning to reach for your phone and end the recording. “Okay, fine. You got off easy this time.”

“Yeah, you can say that again,” he mutters, and you drop your face to your hands, groaning. 

“Can we take a small break?” you ask. “I dunno if I can handle more right now.”

“Yeah, I should change anyway.” He climbs out from behind you, taking your coffee cup with him as he heads back to the main room. You pull your shirt back on and then stand on shaky legs, padding over to the bed for your cover-up. Sitting on the couch in your Bokuto-sized onesie and going through your phone, you send the video to the locked photo album in your camera roll and try to recover from the small shockwaves still sparking through your body.

Akaashi returns in fresh clothes a few minutes later, black jeans slung low on his hips and a white t-shirt hanging over the hook of his forearm. You realize, by the wet edges of his hairline and the few wet strands that hang over his eyes, that he’d washed his face and freshened up. You also realize, with a sneaky peek at his lean build, that you hadn’t been wrong about the physique he’s been hiding.

“Couple questions,” he asks, holding both cups of coffee as he makes his way to you carefully, the open pop-tart packs pinched precariously between his knuckles. You sit up, taking yours and thanking him quietly. He sits beside you, sipping happily at his fresh coffee and letting out a large sigh when he’s done. “First, when do you want to eat lunch? Because, by the time we’re done, I’m gonna be crabby again.”

You snort, checking your phone. It’s already 9:15, you realize with surprise.

“Oh. Well, if we keep this pace…” You blink a few times, thinking. “We could order around 11?”

“Between the desk scene and the bed scene?” He lifts his mug to his lips again, and you lift a brow.

“Why? You think it’ll only take thirty minutes to fuck me? Just in time for delivery?”

He coughs into the cup, splashing hot coffee all over his face. “Fuck-” He tosses his clean white shirt in your lap and wipes at his face with a wince. “That’s not what I meant-”

You bite your lip, laughing quietly. “Sure, we can order before the bed scene.”

“You’re such a-” He shakes his head, cleaning his hands on his jeans.

“A what?” you tease, leaning toward him with a smile. He leans toward you, too, his brows lifting. 

“A brat.” He leans away, leaving you with warm cheeks and a set of rapid blinks. “May I continue, or do you need more time to be annoying?”

“The floor is yours, Your Highness,” you say, picking at your pop-tart before leaving it on the little coffee table to your left.

He gestures to his jeans. “I put on a real outfit because I was thinking we could make it more… roleplay-ish.”

You hear his intended question. “I can find an outfit for that. What’s the vibe you’re going for?”

“I don’t really know. Something… spontaneous. Like you invited me over and things got out of hand, or something.”

You squint playfully at him. “I can’t tell if you read a lot of smut or watch a lot of porn.”

“I have an active mind.” He shrugs, rolling his eyes when you make fake gagging sounds.

“You want me in a school-girl skirt?” you joke, but he cuts a glance at you.

“You have one?” He laughs when you smack him on the arm. “I’m just saying – I’ve never seen it.”

You throw your hands up in exasperation. “When would you have seen it?!”

“We run the same circles!” he tries. “I see a lot of you on a daily basis.”

You groan, turning away from him and giving your coffee extra attention. “I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing a schoolgirl miniskirt to Bokuto’s biweekly parties, Akaashi. Use that brain of yours.”

There’s a pause, and then he chuckles to himself. “Oh, I get it – I should have scrolled a little longer on your account last night.”

“You’re so irritating,” you say, standing. “Is that what I’m wearing? I need to change.”

“Let’s see it, then,” he says, waving a polite hand at the door.

You pad to your room, your head swimming slightly. It’s weird, you think as you search your closet – you’d spent an hour reveling in new discoveries of Akaashi Keiji, but the moment things had ended, you’d gone back to normal. Is it the continued absurdity? Is it some weird, twisted form of suspended disbelief – where, when the camera’s rolling, you’re allowed to forget who you are with him? And, when it’s done, you’re able to snap back to reality without issue?

And does he feel the same?

You choose an outfit while hyper-analyzing him, sliding on a matching bra-panty set while wondering if he’s thinking the same about you. Zipping your plaid miniskirt while considering if things would be this easy with Bokuto or Kuroo, or if things are easy because it’s Akaashi – because of that strange sense of detachment you’d noted before. Tying your hair up and tucking a white button-down into the skirt, the first three buttons undone, while secretly hoping that things continue to be this strange and simple.

You’re still messing with your hair by the time you head back to the spare room, and you barely notice the way Akaashi’s eyes go wide when he sees how short your skirt is.

“Okay, I see what you mean.”

“Oh, yeah?” you laugh. “Think I should wear this to the party tonight?”

“Sure, if you want to put on a live show.”

You roll your eyes, straightening your clothes. “Slutty schoolgirl enough for you?”

“Incredibly,” he says, standing and pulling his shirt over his head. “Shall we?”

You move the tripod toward the desk by the windows, setting your phone up so it’s level with your chest. “I think we should probably walk into frame if we’re going for roleplay.”

“Okay.” Akaashi stands at the open window nearest the desk, peering down to the ground level and then out across the way. You hadn’t lied about your balcony yesterday – your apartment doesn’t face the street, because your residential high-rise looks out to water. The nearest building this tall is across the river. Still, he glances at you. “Do you close these when you film here or leave them open?” You don’t answer, your face warming instead. His lips split in a knowing grin. “I see.”

“It’s not what you think-”

“So, you’re not an exhibitionist?”

“Not a big one!”

He turns away, backing out of frame and waiting for you next to the end of the bed. “I don’t know about the degrees of exhibitionism, but I’d say leaving your windows open while I eat you out is pretty up there. Freak.”

“Do you always have to talk?!” you snap, embarrassed and a little warm from the way he’d called you a freak. “Always talk, talk, talking. Some of us like our windows open, Akaashi. It’s not like anyone can actually see.” You press record angrily and stomp over to him. “You can never just shut the fuck up-”

His hand flies out, latching onto your waist and dragging you the rest of the way to him. You gasp, hands landing on his chest as he pulls you flush to him.

You’re no less unprepared for his mouth on your throat this time around. You stumble back, grabbing onto his t-shirt to keep yourself standing while he sucks on a spot under your ear.

“‘m I still talking too much?” he murmurs, walking you slowly into frame. You card your fingers through his hair and trust him to not let you fall on your ass.

“Always,” you breathe, that strange suspension of disbelief setting in when you bump against the desk and Akaashi slips his fingers around the backs of your thighs to hoist you up. You lean up, pressing your lips to his jaw and kissing carefully down the line of it. He tugs your shirt free of the skirt and undoes two of the buttons with one hand, the other hooked under your knee so he can slot his hips between yours. Then he nudges you away, taking over.

You let him touch you, his fingers fondling and groping your body while you lean back on your hands with a sigh. His mouth finds the hollow of your throat, teeth nipping at your collarbones while his hands slide your skirt under the curve of your ass. The material bunches at your waist, and he slips your panties off of you and throws them somewhere behind him. When he meets your eyes, you catch the glint in them.

“Maybe you should do something about that. Since you want to be a freak.”

You narrow a glare at him, heart skipping a beat when he says that stupid name. You let him pull your thighs open, and then you reach between for the button on his jeans. He lifts a brow, interest piqued, as you undo his pants and push them past his hips. You slide your palm against his boxers, smiling up at him when he sucks in a breath.

“You like that, baby?” you ask, your grin widening when he narrows his eyes. “Even though someone could see?” His cock jumps under your hand, and your eyebrows fly to your hairline. He has the decency to look embarrassed. “Oh?”

“Shut up,” he mumbles, knocking your hand away. You shrug it off, pushing that hand into his hair.

“Then say I’m not a freak,” you say, pulling tight. He doesn’t seem to mind it, but he does narrow a glare and an irritated grin at you.

“You’re not a freak, sweetheart,” he whispers, voice saccharine. “But you love it when I call you one.” He lifts his brows when you say nothing. “So what does that make you?”

You glower and push down on his head, and he drops to his knees with a snicker. You check the camera quickly, making sure that his face is hidden behind your thigh. Keeping your hand on the side of his head to provide more coverage, you try not to shiver when Akaashi presses his lips to the inside of your thigh. When he hooks both your legs over his shoulders and holds on tight, you whimper quietly.

And then the bickering and the nerves all fall away. The flat of his tongue presses to your core, and you make the mistake of looking at him with wide eyes. 

Akaashi’s eyes are a lot bluer when he’s got his face between your thighs.

You suck in a sharp inhale, legs trembling when he drags his tongue over your folds, slow and torturous. You’re unable to keep eye contact with him, a flush rising to your cheeks and your stomach flipping with nerves every time you glance down, because he’s staring right back at you.

Finally, he lets his eyes slide shut, his movements more intense now that he’s not focused on anything else. Your fingers shake in his hair, and your chest rises and falls with something akin to a live wire straight to the veins. Akaashi’s fingers tighten on the tops of your thighs, and he shuffles closer on his knees, his head bobbing as he slides his tongue, velvety and searing hot, through your folds before latching onto your clit.

“Oh, my God-” Your body twitches when he suckles gently, his lips soft around the nub. Your grip tightens on him, and your hips rock forward of their own accord. He follows your lead, finding his timing within the rhythmic cant of your body’s response, and soon, he has you gasping and moaning audibly. 

His glasses sit knocked askew and pushed up against his forehead the more certain he becomes between your thighs. You feel the cold metal on your skin and glance down blearily. A fresh wave of heat washes over you when you realize that they’re smeared with dewy drops of you, and you move them shakily off his face and set them beside you on the desk. Akaashi’s hands respond, sliding up and over your hips, reaching for you. He finds the last button on your shirt and undoes it with a flick of two fingers, and there’s something about the way he moves, skilled and smooth, that makes you shiver visibly in front of the camera.

One of Akaashi’s hands slides up your torso, and he cups your breast firmly through your bra, squeezing and twisting at your nipple until you start to squirm, a whine building in your throat.

“Too much,” you whisper, and he pulls his mouth away from you with a warm huff, his lips wet and glistening when he looks up at you.

“Color?” he murmurs, his breath sharp against your core with each ragged exhale.

You purse your lips. “Green.”

“Then stop complaining,” he says, already lowering his head again. When he pinches your nipple this time, it comes with the aid of the tip of his tongue, pushing carefully against your entrance.

“Holy shit,” you gasp, eyes wide and fingers tugging his hair tight enough to hurt. He pushes once more and then relents, sliding up to suck hard on your clit. You choke, your body arching and trembling against him when he lowers his head and tries again, slipping gently in this time and moaning against you when you squeeze your thighs around his head. He uses both hands to hold tight to your waist, grounding you against him and keeping you from wriggling too much while he fucks you with his tongue. Your skin burns with every drag of his tongue against your walls, and you reach the summit alarmingly fast. “Wait, wait, wait-” 

He slides out of you, and your chest bursts with air, gasps coming to you in choked breaths and shaking thighs. But then he leans up, wrapping his lips around your clit and sucking hard, his teeth brushing against the nub in a way that feels a lot like Akaashi putting his hand on your back and shoving you right off the cliff with no warning.

You scream, your head thrown back and your back arching painfully as you see stars. You feel a slight pain in the back of your head, but you don’t register that you’d hit your head on the wall until much later, when the stars are gone and your vision isn’t blacked out any longer. When all that’s left is the camera rolling and your fingers aching where they’re clenched in Akaashi’s hair.

He’s pressing kisses along your thighs slowly, thumbs rubbing circles into your hips. He glances up when your lungs finally relax, your breaths much longer and drawn out now as you find yourself again.

“You okay?” he mumbles against the inside of your knee, examining you through long, dark eyelashes. “You hit your head.”

You nod dumbly and meet his eyes, flames licking up your navel when you catch the thinly veiled heat in his expression. “It can’t be fair that I’ve come twice and you haven’t come at all.”

“I came once,” he reminds you quietly, the breath of his whisper seductive on your thigh. His lips brush over your skin, feather-light and wonderfully soft, and his tongue tracks the path of his mouth, too, warm and wet and drawing your breath short in your chest again. “But I wouldn’t mind taking you up on a second time.”

Your skin heats, the air buzzing in your ears and your heartbeat audible in the silence between you. You nod shallowly, your lips parted, and his eyes flit around your face, searching you. He must like whatever he finds, because he doesn’t respond. He only stands slowly and towers over you, his shirt pulled swiftly over his head and dropped on the desk next to his glasses. He leans down and wraps his arms around your waist, hoisting you up.

You gasp, wrapping yourself tight around him as he crosses the three steps to the bed, the tripod with your phone dangling between his knuckles. He sets it down on the end of the bed, and then he drops you unceremoniously on the mattress. You bounce lightly on it, staring up at him with wide eyes, and he nods at the camera.

“Need to set up?”

“O-Oh. Right-” You blink rapidly, crawling over to the edge and adjusting it quickly while he comes to stand at the side of the bed. You scoot back after, your head facing the top of the bed, and make sure you’re centered in the frame before looking up at him with wide eyes. You purse your lips, skin buzzing with anticipation. “Okay – ready.”

Akaashi lets his eyes roam your body – they land on your shirt, lying open uselessly on your shoulders and showing off your pretty, black bra. Then down to your skirt, bunched up against the tops of your thighs when your knees are bent like that. You do the same, shamelessly – drinking in his body, lean and lanky but muscular all the same. With those black jeans sitting so low on his hips that you can trace the dark trail of hair that disappears into his boxers, an invitation.

You take it, sitting up on your knees and reaching hesitantly for his unbuttoned jeans, your eyes on his. He says nothing, but his lips part when you hook your thumbs into his boxers and start to push them down.

“Shit,” he sighs under his breath when you get his pants down, his cock hard and smeared with precum. You inhale sharply, staring at the pretty curve of it – pretty like his long fingers and his warm lips and his piercing blue eyes. Pretty like the thumb he’d put in your mouth. You want to put this in your mouth, too – your mouth is already watering, funnily enough – but he’s already told you no.

So you settle for wrapping your fingers around him instead, satisfied with the quiet hiss he lets out. You stroke him a few times, twisting your wrist and running your thumb over the slit slowly, the way you’d seen him do it last night. He cards his fingers through your hair, holding loosely.

“How many times did you watch that video?” he asks quietly, the teasing edge in his voice lost to the breathless sigh he lets out after. “You’re doing it the way I like.”

That makes your heart swell with pride, and you can’t help the smile you give him, bright and giddy. “What can I say? I’m a fast learner.”

He chuckles back. “The academic uses her gifts for good.”

“You callin’ me smart, baby?”

He rolls his eyes, taking your chin between his fingers and tilting your head up. “How about you focus, huh? I’ll admit you’re smart when you get me off.”

You sit up a little straighter at that, pursing your lips and mimicking how he’d touched himself last night, flicking your wrist hard around the base and softening your touch at the tip. He swallows when you repeat the motion, his grip on your hair tightening, but he gives you nothing else, his eyes devoid of emotion otherwise. It spurs you on, targets the piece of you that seeks validation. He’d only given it to you once, but you’re eager to hear it again.

“How’s this?”

He just lifts his brows. “What’s wrong? Already need my approval?”

You scowl, returning to the task at hand. It doesn’t take long, not with the way the muscles in his abdomen keep tightening, or the way he’s breathing shallowly through his nose, or the way his hips start to push up to meet your fist halfway. No, it doesn’t take long at all.

But before you can get him off – before you can have the satisfaction of him swearing over you as he comes on your skin – he wraps a hand around your wrist, stopping you.

Your eyes fly up to his, alarmed and disappointed. “What?”

His cheeks are flushed, lips a little swollen from what you can only guess is biting, but he just moves your hand and reaches down to remove his pants. “Lie down. Shirt off.”

You strip from the button-down and toss it uncaringly off the edge, scrambling back to where you were before and leaning back on your elbows with growing anticipation. Your stomach flips when he starts to climb over you, his eyes searching yours. There’s a glint in his eye that seems to signal that he’s processing this, too – that you’re about to have sex. That, out of everyone – out of everyone you actually like – you had decided to come to the one person you don’t like. To the one person you hate most days, because of the way he is and the way he treats you.

But it’s the way he is and the way he treats you that had made him perfect for this.

So, out of everyone, it’s Akaashi Keiji that you’re getting into bed with.

Your tongue darts out when he settles between your legs, your skirt falling up to your hips when your thighs open for him. He glances back and checks the camera frame once before leaning down over you. His brow is furrowed as he slides his cock through your folds, his Adam’s apple bobbing when he feels you. He pushes his hips forward once, twice, and then re-angles himself on the third, his fingers lining the head of his cock up against your entrance.

You watch him when he finally slides into you, the rest of the world lost in a dull buzz that fill your brain.

When he nudges the tip past your entrance, gliding slowly past your walls, his chest rises and falls with the breaths he’s keeping trapped inside, but he’s short of breath nonetheless. His skin is radiating warmth in that way that you find pretty, just like the rest of him, and his eyes are dark when they meet yours. His eyebrows twitch the further he sinks into you, and his lips – pink and wet and pretty – are parting as he bottoms out, and he lets out a soft sigh.

The dull buzz is cleared away like smoke, and you realize there’s a needy moaning echoing in the room, one that can only be coming from you.

“Oh, my God,” you cry, falling back on the mattress when he starts to thrust into you. “Oh, my God, holy shit-” Your heart is pounding hard in your ears and throat and veins, and you’re caught between wanting to claw at the comforter desperately and wanting to hide your face behind your hands.

Akaashi drops down over you, caging you in with one arm as the other bends back, his hand tight on the underside of your thigh as he picks up his pace. You gasp, unable to find enough air in the room to fill your lungs. One of your hands finds his wrist by your head, clamping on tight, and the other smacks down over your eyes – you can’t look at him, not when you’re like this. Not when you’re sweating and breathless, not when your stomach is fluttering with some unfamiliar mix of nerves and desire with every bump of his hips against yours.

Not when you’re realizing that no one else has ever made you feel this way before.

“Look at me, princess,” he grunts, and your stomach flips at the ragged sway of his voice. 

“I-fuck – I can’t-” you whine, but the sound catches in your throat when he angles his hips and the head of his cock smacks right up against your g-spot. You gasp loud, your grip on his wrist tightening with all your strength. “Oh, my God-please-” 

“There?” he asks quietly, and he drives his hips forward at that angle once more. You cry out when he hits it again, but then he stops.

He stops, just hovering over you silently.

The hand on your face drops in shock, and you stare up at him. “What-”

“I told you to look at me.”

“You-” You want to smack him so badly. “You can’t just stop-”

“Can’t I?” He tilts his head, eyes filling with disinterest, despite the breathy quality of his voice. “You weren’t listening to me.”

You remember now, the things he’d said yesterday.

‘Is it alright if I’m a little mean?’

Fuck.

“Uh-fuck,” you laugh pitifully. “Fuck. I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry.” Your chest starts to fill with a strange feeling, a clawing that reaches for your throat when he only stares, dissatisfied. He doesn’t seem happy with you, and – for every piece of you that doesn’t give a fuck what Akaashi Keiji thinks in any other situation – there’s a panic that’s starting to swirl in you at this very moment. “I’m sorry, please don’t stop-”

He draws his hips back, and the panic forms into a knot all at once when you realize he’s pulling out.

“No, no, no-” You dig your nails into his shoulders, keeping him close and staring up at him with wide, terrified eyes. “No, please, I really am sorry.” The clawing in your throat starts to burn, and your eyes sting at the thought that he’s decidedly finished with you. There’s a rational part of your brain that knows he isn’t. He can’t be. You’re still filming. But the part of you that’s very rapidly become addicted to the feeling of Akaashi fucking you is panicking hard enough to make tears fill your eyes.

His cock twitches inside you when you start to sniffle, and the word ‘dacryphilia’ floats through your brain, the ghost of a memory.

If he wants you to cry, you’ll cry.

“Please, baby,” you murmur, your head falling back on the mattress and your nails clinging to him. You let yourself sink into that panic and your vision blurs, the tears hot and embarrassing as they stream down the sides of your cheeks onto the bed. “Please don’t stop.” 

You don’t see his reaction when you give in to him, but you hear his shaky breath. And you certainly feel when he relents, because he’s pushing slowly back into you. You find yourself whispering ‘yes, yes, yes’ as he’s coming back to you, and the tightness in your throat starts to loosen.

“You gonna listen?” he murmurs, and you nod again. “Because I’ll stop. I’m fine either way.”

He’s bluffing, your brain tries to tell you, but fresh tears are burning your eyes and you’re choking on the lump that’s reforming at the base of your throat. He can’t stop, he can’t. You don’t know what you’ll do if he stops.

“Please, don’t-” you sob, shaking your head. “I swear I’ll listen.” 

Your heart jumps when the mattress dips by your head again as he cages you in. When his other hand finds the underside of your thigh again, the bruises his grip had left the first time ache as his fingers fill those prints once more. He leans down toward you, and you blink through the tears just enough to meet his eyes.

“Cover your mouth,” he whispers, staring down at you with a dangerous glint in his eye. You’re quick to slap your hands over your mouth, terrified of taking too long and testing his patience. He doesn’t smile at your obedience or give you any visual signal of satisfaction, but his eyes do trace your face meaningfully. “Well, if you’re gonna be that good for me, I guess I can let you have it.”

He thrusts his hips forward sharply before you have any time to process what he means. You scream, your back arching when he slams up against your g-spot, and you’re distantly grateful that he’s minding the noise limits on your apartment while he decidedly fucks you into oblivion. He keeps that pace and that angle, and his head drops down beside yours as he does.

“Let’s make a deal,” he says, breathless and rough in your ear. “You listen to me when I talk to you, and I’ll abuse your tight little cunt as much as you want.” Your eyes roll into the back of your head, your body starting to go numb as the pressure builds in your navel for the third time in one morning. “Sound good?” he whispers, swallowing hard after. You nod frantically, and his panting becomes audible in your ear. “Fuck, I’m close. Where should I-” He starts to pull his hips away, but your hands fly off of your mouth and grip hard on his biceps.

“If you pull out right now, I’m going to fucking kill you,” you say, staring straight into his eyes. Your eyes burn, and you’re sticky and warm, and you know you look like a mess, but you keep your eyes directly on his. “We just made a deal.”

He stares, wide-eyed, and then breathes out a laugh. “Okay. I hear you.” When his hips touch yours again, it comes with him dropping down to his elbow and carding his fingers through your hair tight. “But I want you looking at me.”

You’re surprised by that, because it feels oddly intimate for him to chase an orgasm while looking into your eyes – but then he finds that special pace and angle, and you can’t think of anything but giving him what he wants, just so he doesn’t take away what you want. 

You look right into those blue-green eyes as your navel curls and twists, despite every urge to let your eyes roll back and your mouth hang open. You slide your arms around his neck and look into his eyes, clinging tight as he takes full control of your body – prying you open and kissing that particular spot inside you that no one else has ever found before. You look into his eyes up until the very moment you find that summit, the morning light golden and warm and blinding. You find him there, too.

You won’t realize it for a long, long time, but something slides into place and locks tight when your body registers that the last thing you see before falling off the edge is the dark cyan of Akaashi Keiji’s eyes. When it registers that the last thing that he sees – before his eyes roll back and his forehead drops to yours, his hips stuttering and stalling as he fills you – is you.

You think you might have fallen asleep in that spot, because you’re not sure if it’s been minutes or hours since you moved. Your body trembles under him, and you feel him starting to release you achingly slow – his elbow cracks when he lifts off of it, and his breath is taxed and heavy while he pulls out of you. He holds you like that for a minute, just long enough for the creampie to be visible to the camera, and then he sets your thigh down gently. But you whine anyway, because there’s a horrible soreness that’s starting to set into your muscles and bones.

“Shit,” he whispers. “That was-”

You let out a weak laugh, immediately groaning at how it rattles your body. “This Chinese food is going to be the most glorious meal I’ve ever earned.”

He laughs back, that delirious one that comes when he’s struggling to find himself. “I forgot to order it between the desk and the bed.”

“I don’t think we would have made the thirty-minute deadline.”

He laughs harder, collapsing back down on his elbows. “God, I think I’m dying. I don’t know if I have the stamina to be a porn star.”

You groan, planting both hands on his chest and pushing him slowly off of you. He hits the mattress beside you with a sigh, and you curl up in place. “This was hard. I’m tired.”

“There’s no time to be tired. It’s already-” He sits up slowly, reaching for your phone to end the video and check the time. “-noon, apparently.”

“Noon?!” You dig the heels of your hands into your eyes. “Four hours, holy shit.”

“I need food,” Akaashi mumbles to himself, rising off the bed with a groan and searching the floor for his boxers. He finds and trips into them on his way to the door, muttering ‘phone, need my phone’ as he goes. You roll off the side of the bed unceremoniously, swiping your shirt and underwear off of the rug and slipping them back on.

“We were supposed to change,” he calls from the other room. “You’re a slutty schoolgirl in two videos.”

“I don’t care,” you whine, stumbling back into bed and lying flat on your face, your voice muffled. “Let me be a slutty schoolgirl, fuck.”

“Do you still have your pop-tart?” he asks, back in the room and completely ignoring your complaints. “What do you want for takeout?” You hear him snatch the plastic package off the little coffee table by the couch. “I’m eating your pop-tart-”

“Oh, my God, Akaashi, just eat the fucking pop-tart,” you snap, growing crabby. There’s silence, and then he flops down on the bed beside you. 

“Maybe you should eat the pop-tart.”

A laugh bubbles and bursts in your throat, and you start to giggle uncontrollably. “What the fuck did we just do?”

“Burn a lot of calories,” he jokes through a mouth full of your strawberry pop-tart. You turn your head toward him, watching as, half-naked beside you, he scrolls through the delivery menu of the nearest Chinese takeout place. “I’m getting kung pao chicken.”

“Ew.” You wrinkle your nose. “Peanuts.”

He looks at you in confusion. “You’re allergic to peanuts?”

“No. I just don’t like them.”

“Oh,” he grumbles, turning back to his phone. “That’s stupid.”

“You’re stupid-”

He flaps the silvery plastic of the pop-tart in your face. “Eat this and tell me what you want before I get double kung pao-”

You snatch the stupid pastry away from him, watching him lift his hand in defeat and whisper ‘okay, crabass’ as you stuff your mouth with sugary nothingness. “I want beef and broccoli.”

He grimaces. “Boring.”

“Get out of my house, Akaashi-”

“I got it, look-” He brandishes the screen at you, showing your food in the online cart. “What else?”

“Egg rolls. Crab rangoon. Maybe some pot-stickers, too-”

“You’re just trying to spend my money,” he complains, adding it all anyway.

“We’ll make it back soon enough.”

He meets your eyes, and you both seem to re-realize how you’ve just spent a full Saturday morning. It settles in then, the arrangement you’ve made with Akaashi Keiji. Saturday mornings and weekday evenings, a suspended disbelief that you’ll never be able to explain to your friends. Pop-tarts in your slutty schoolgirl skirt, Chinese food in his boxers. A series of life experiences that can never leave this apartment, shared with the singular person you’d tried so long to keep out of your life entirely.

Akaashi blinks, and you blink back, infinite realizations passing by all at once.

He turns his head back to his phone. “Fried or steamed pot-stickers?”

You turn your face back into the mattress, your voice muffled. “Fried.”

–

While the food’s on its way, you leave Akaashi to wash up in your bathroom. You disappear into your bedroom and change, hearing when the sink stops running and the door opens. 

“In here,” you call, pulling your hair back as you head to your desk that’s pushed against the wall shared with the living room. He appears in the doorway in a pair of athletic shorts and a hoodie, his hair and face damp and his glasses a little foggy from the moisture on his skin. 

“Should be ten more minutes,” he says, checking his phone. And then he glances around your room in a way that appears casual, but you can tell he’s curious. 

“You can come in,” you joke, waving him in. You take a seat at your desk, shaking the mouse attached to your monitor to wake the computer up. “I’m gonna give you account access now before I forget.”

He hums, wandering your room slowly and taking it all in. The photos of your friends on top of your dresser, the plushies on your bed that would be embarrassing to show anyone that’s not him. The bookshelf in the corner, filled with fun novels and academic textbooks alike. 

“I have a few of these,” he murmurs, crouching and thumbing through the volumes. You smile to yourself, logging into your account while you respond.

“The smutty romance novels? No wonder you’re such a creative porn star.”

“You’re funny,” he says, not an ounce of humor in his voice. “You’re missing the Cambridge handbook on Korean morphosyntax.”

“‘s here,” you nod at the small pile of books on your desk, spines facing outward. “I keep the best ones close.” You hear him approach behind you, your eyes busy locating his own account and inviting him as a collaborator. 

But then his hand reaches past your head, and you realize with a drop of your stomach that he’s plucking a paper off the top of a pile that you keep next to your books.

A paper with his name on it, published in Syntax last year, on Korean case marking. It’s full of pen, highlighter, and sticky tabs – your thoughts on his work.

“Oh?” he says, his voice dreadfully smug. “You keep the best ones close, you said?”

“Shut up,” you say, shaking your head. “Research is research-”

“Good research gets cited. You gonna cite me, Y/n?”

“I’m sure you’re no stranger to good research, Akaashi Keiji. I’d be stupid not to.”

“So-” He steps closer, and your lift your eyes to his reluctantly. He looks excited. “-you’re including the case marking, then? In the dissertation.”

You roll your eyes. “Would you like me to say ‘thank you, Akaashi, oh Brilliant One’?” 

He lifts his brows with a smirk. “Yes, actually. I would.”

“Kiss my ass,” you say with a laugh, shaking your head and returning to the task at hand. “Now that I don’t have to find a second job, I might actually have the time to include it.”

“You would have made the time anyway,” he says confidently, and you give an exhausted sigh.

“Okay, I gave you access. Can we-” You stand, snatching the paper back and dropping it on the pile. “-exit the research chat, please?”

“Why?” he prods, following you out the room. “Worried I’ll make good points without our referee around to keep me in check?”

“The fact that you need to be kept in check in the first place is a bad sign.” You flop down on the couch with a sigh, and he follows. “You’re so abrasive.”

“Being gentle doesn’t get you published,” he argues, and you snap back quick.

“Shockingly, I still managed it.”

“You got published?” He lifts his brows, turning to you with interest. “Where? When?”

You sigh. “Language and Cognition,” you mutter, watching his eyes go slightly wide before flattening out again. “End of the month.”

“Holy shit,” he says, nodding and looking away. “Language and Cognition. That’s top-shelf stuff.” You think that might be a compliment. The first he’s ever paid you. “It’s about time.”

The compliment is magically negated.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You say, heated.

“Nothing!” he laughs, shaking his head. “I wasn’t trying to be mean.”

“You’re saying it took me a long time to publish-”

“Considering your skillset,” he argues pointedly. “Yes. I’d say I’m surprised it took this long.”

“Are you insulting me or complimenting me?” You throw your hands out. “Choose, Akaashi.”

“Don’t wanna,” he says childishly, smiling in a way that’s intentionally irritating. You scoff, but his phone pings with the delivery notification before you can pick a fight. He stands, disappearing out the door to get it, and you take a long, deep breath to relax yourself. You turn the TV on, flicking through the options before landing on the nature channel.

He slips back in after a few minutes, bag dangling from his fingers. “What are we watching?”

“Squirrels fighting for their territory,” you say, completely entranced by the action happening on the screen.

“Seriously?” he asks, stopping by the couch briefly to look at the TV. 

“Look at them go,” you whisper in amazement, shaking your head as you watch two squirrels positively tear each other apart.

“Are you in the habit of watching the nature channel?” He wanders to the kitchen while he asks, and you let him struggle to find bowls and unpack the food.

“Every night,” you say, distracted. “Relaxes my brain.”

“God, you’re insane,” he mumbles from across the room.

“Well, what do you do to relax?” you ask. There’s silence in the kitchen, and your attention’s torn from the screen as you look over your shoulder at him. He’s frowning slightly down at the food while he serves it, and you grin smugly. “Oh, I get it. The stick in your ass is there for a reason.”

“Fuck off,” he breathes with a shake of his head. He carries both plates to the couch, handing you one and staring with skepticism at the TV. “We’re really watching this?”

“Look how that one stands on his hind legs and asserts his dominance!” you exclaim, pointing excitedly at the TV before stuffing your mouth full of beef and broccoli. “The other one’s totally gotta give up his acorns now.”

Akaashi sighs, digging into his food with a shake of his head. “Squirrel social dynamics and Chinese food. My Saturday morning.”

You eat in relative silence, the only comments coming from your enthusiasm about nature and his quiet, exasperated laughter. Finally, he sighs, setting his empty plate on the coffee table.

“I should go.”

You nod, reaching to mute the TV. “I gotta edit these videos and draft one to post tonight. What time’s the party?”

“Starts at 9,” he says, standing slowly. You purse your lips, realizing that you’ll have to see him again today – in public, where you’ll have to pretend you hadn’t spent the morning together. 

“Okay.” You nod. “See you then.”

There’s a moment of silence, where he seems to realize the same thing you had, and then he just nods, slinging his bag over his shoulder. “Kay. See ya.”

The apartment echoes with the click of the door behind him.

You stare at it, feeling a bit weird, as though the entire affair is finally starting to crash down over you now that he’s gone. Your phone buzzes on the table, and you shake off the feeling, snatching it up. Your heart beats a strange little rhythm at the sight of his name.

[1:24 PM]

Akaashi: dont forget to cover your hickies tonight

“What?” You stand, padding to the bathroom quickly. The reflection in the mirror is horrid, your throat already bruising on both sides. “This motherfu-”

You: youre such a dick.

He sends back a shrugging emoji and nothing else, and you move around the apartment with a little more stomp than usual, minimally annoyed as you clean up the tables and put the leftovers away before returning to your desk to edit the videos.

–

Keiji arrives at Bokuto’s townhouse at 9 o’clock on the dot, knocking quietly. It’s Tsukishima who opens the door, just lifting his brows in greeting before leading him back through the living room. There’s no one else here, and Bokuto is filling bowls with chips in the kitchen.

“Hey!” he calls excitedly. “I’m so ready to be trashed!”

Keiji sets two handles of vodka and a case of Coke on the counter. “In a good way or a bad way?”

“Good, of course! Life is good!” The kinesiology student starts organizing the bowls by color, smiling to himself while he talks. “Research is good, friends are good, life is good!”

There’s a knock on the door, and Keiji’s heart jumps without his permission. He glances at the new arrivals that enter when the host yells ‘it’s open!’, and he’s oddly disappointed to see it’s just some of the people in Bokuto’s cohort.

Tsukishima dims the lights in the main room and connects his phone to the speaker, and Bokuto starts to dance while he chats up his friends and preps the kitchen with more food. Keiji stands off to the side, pouring himself a drink and nodding politely when a guy he recognizes greets him.

Thirty minutes go by like that, with Keiji standing in sight of the door and glancing up, a little nervous, every time it opens. He doesn’t know why he feels this way, but he does know it’s your fault.

He’d felt it when you’d texted him a couple hours ago, too – it was only to let him know that the video for tonight had been edited, but he’d still gotten a strange twinge of anxiety when your name had popped up on his phone. He had watched the video back, impressed at how you’d edited the tattoos out and muffled both your voices – creating what’s essentially a quiet, faceless video with only your moans to show for his performance. He’d also refrained from watching the video in too much detail, because even just skimming through it, he’d felt renewed desire stream through his veins.

He wonders if it would be too much to go back and watch it later tonight, when he has too much alcohol in his system to worry if it’s weird.

Tsukishima finds him again after a while, lingering with him in the corner. “Research?”

“‘s good,” Keiji says, lifting his drink to his lips – the second in half an hour. “Finally started writing the dissertation chapters. Should be done next year.”

“God, I’m jealous,” the blond laughs quietly. “With working at the museum, everything takes twice as long for me.”

Keiji hates that his first thought is you – that that could have been you, too. “Did your advisor tell you when you’re s’posed t’finish?” He should slow down. Water, maybe.

“Two years,” Tsukishima groans, emptying his cup and then reaching for the vodka again.

“That’s what Kuroo has left, too.”

The blond shoots him a side glance. “So?” Keiji sees the tinge of pink at the tips of his ears, so he shrugs.

“Just an observation.” The door opens behind Tsukishima, and his eyes flit to it, just over the blond’s shoulder. 

It’s a couple he doesn’t recognize, but Bokuto clearly does, his ‘hey, hey, hey!’ audible from here.

“Who are you lookin’ for?” Tsukishima dips his head into Keiji’s way, an eyebrow arched and his words slower than usual from the alcohol. “You keep doin’ that.”

Keiji blinks and clears his throat. “No one. It just-” The door opens again, and you walk through it with Kuroo and Yachi. Keiji’s throat dries up. “-catches my attention.”

Tsukishima glances back, but if he notices that you’re clearly what Keiji had been waiting for, he doesn’t say anything. He just whips his head back around, swallowing hard and taking an aggressive swig of his drink.

God bless Kuroo Tetsurou.

Keiji watches you greet Bokuto and some of his friends, your smile wide and your hugs generous. His eyes scan you carefully. You’re wearing a pair of black jeans that hugs you in all the right places – places he knows now – and red long-sleeve shirt with a v-cut so low that his mouth waters slightly. You’d covered the bruises on your throat, and there’s a piece of him – small but troublesome – that’s a little dissatisfied to see the skin smooth and mark-free. Especially with the way you giggle at something Bokuto says, the taller man smiling down at you and holding your waist in a friendly way. Keiji swallows and brushes that odd little feeling away.

His heart flips over itself when you turn in his general direction, and he’s quick to turn back to Tsukishima, blinking rapidly. He feels weird – he wants you to notice him there, wants you to say something to him, even though you’d both agreed not to act any different. You’ve never spoken to him at these parties unless absolutely necessary, so he shouldn’t be wishing for anything of the sort. 

But he wants to know that you feel weird, too. That you want his attention, too. That you don’t know why, either.

“So,” he clears his throat, getting the history student’s attention. “The museum. Have they gotten back to you about the full-time position?”

“Not explicitly,” Tsukishima responds, seeming equally grateful for the distraction. “But they basically said it’s mine whenever I’m done.”

“That’s good. Makes things a little less stressful,” Keiji says, pointedly looking down into his cup, because he feels you behind him, passing by. Your perfume makes his nostrils flare, and a shiver – traitorous and laced with want – runs down his spine. 

“Hey, Tsukishima,” you say, brushing past the taller man. “Good weekend so far?”

The blond nods. “A little pissed to get a 2am text of Bokuto screaming, but otherwise, yeah.”

You laugh gently, and Keiji’s skin floods with goosebumps. He looks at you without meaning to, and a white-hot heat sears through his stomach, because you’re already looking back. You don’t greet him or betray any visible emotion when he makes eye contact, but he sees your breathing change, and there’s a warmth that makes your skin glow in the dim light. 

You’re nervous. He’s making you nervous.

And that’s a dangerous little piece of information for him to have access to.

“Y/n,” he says, rolling your name around on his tongue like he’s tasting it for the first time. He’s glad that Tsukishima’s distractedly looking over his shoulder at Kuroo, because he doesn’t see the way your breath catches or the way your spine straightens.

“Akaashi.” It’s weak, and your voice wavers on the last syllable, cutting out and filling with the breath that you draw in sharply. His body hums when he hears it, and the urge to hear it again – the urge to witness your poorly concealed emotions – grows to the point of being unbearable.

He wants to make you nervous.

“Get started on those case marking materials yet?” He’s careful to reference the LEM meeting only, not the things you’d talked about this morning. Still, it makes you swallow, and you pluck a red solo cup from the stack before reaching for the vodka. 

“Do you really want to talk about research here?” you ask, mixing it with some of the orange juice that Yachi had dropped off a few minutes ago.

“Why not?” he says. “Tsukishima and I are.”

You level a grin at the blond, who’s tuned back in at the sound of his name. “Don’t you want a night off, Tsukishima?”

Keiji doesn’t hear what his friend’s answer is. He’s too busy dragging his gaze slowly down the length of your body while the taller man’s talking to you. You shift slightly, and his eyes find yours. You’re flitting your gaze between his and Tsukishima’s, trying to stay engaged with the conversation but also clearly distracted. Keiji just stares, his eyes unyielding on yours whenever you meet them. You drink urgently from your cup, chugging until it’s empty and then reaching back to make another, a grimace tugging on your lips.

He looks away, because he can hear Bokuto storming into the kitchen.

“Hey, my favorite pals!” He slings his arms around Keiji’s and Tsukishima’s shoulders, and Keiji tips forward into you. You yelp, barely managing to steady your drink on the counter. He slips his arm around your waist to catch himself – definitely not for any other reason – and he hears you gasp in his ear at the contact. 

“Sorry,” he mumbles, head swimming with alcohol.

“No, you’re not,” you whisper back heatedly. But Keiji can feel you leaning into him, too, your fingers brushing on his arm. 

It fills his chest with a giddy excitement – the realization that you can’t help yourself, either. 

He decides in that moment – in the mere milliseconds where Bokuto’s straightening and exclaiming in Tsukishima’s ear that the friend group should collect by the couches in the living room, the two of you completely unnoticed – that he doesn’t want to stop doing this. He doesn’t want to stop provoking you, even though he very well should. Because he can see that you don’t want it to stop, either. Because you’re searching him with wide eyes and the kind of attention that he could get high off of.

Because, in a single morning alone, Keiji’s learned to recognize when you’re turned on. 

The flush of your cheeks and the tug of your bottom lip between your teeth. The way you hug yourself, like you’re worried you might do something with those hands if you don’t. The uneven pattern of your breathing, your chest rising and falling with attempted recovery.

God, he thinks he’s turned on, too.

He swallows, leaning away and letting Bokuto sweep the three of you away into the living room. You’re still pressed to his side unwillingly, your body heat making him shiver with excitement – you smell the way you did this morning, like warmth and the laundry detergent of the sheets he’d fucked you into. Like the memory of your tears and the way you’d begged him not to stop, the memory of your walls fluttering around him and the way your back had arched when you’d come–

He scrubs drunkenly at his scrunched eyebrows, stumbling to wherever Bokuto had guided him and throwing himself down on the couch. Even with his eyes closed, he knows that the body that lands next to him is yours.

When he opens his eyes, the world a little blurry and tilted, Kuroo and Yachi have joined the group – Hitoka’s on his other side, and Bokuto’s taken the armchair, Tsukishima and Kuroo sitting awfully close together on the floor. It always happens this way – the group of you always end up in your own corner, the rest of the party carrying on without the host needing to entertain. The music is always thumping just loud enough that everyone has to raise their voices to be heard, but it’s never annoying. Never too much, never overwhelming. It’s why all these people always come back – Bokuto Koutarou’s parties are always the perfect escape.

He’s starting to understand why, tonight.

The night goes on like any other. Yachi rambles about her current dissertation progress, clearly excited to talk about her graphic design and marketing ideas. Bokuto engages her excitedly, asking if she could help him make some recruitment flyers for the volleyball class he’ll be teaching next semester. Kuroo whispers things to Tsukishima, the smirk on his lips pressed to the blond’s ear and Tsukishima’s cheeks burning with a cherry-red blush.

Which leaves Keiji with you. Surrounded by friends who are much too drunk and distracted to care what he does.

So he settles into the couch, spreading his legs to get comfortable – at least, that’s what it looks like. No one questions why he never intrudes on Yachi’s space, why he angles his body toward yours, why his knee bumps yours and then stays there. No one asks why you suddenly look nervous or why you silently decide to let his thigh press against yours. Why your own thigh, radiating gentle warmth, presses back after a moment – although it’d be completely in character for you to make some snappish remark about respecting personal space. 

No one asks why your fingers twitch on your leg, your pinky brushing up against his leg, stretching toward him and then retracting.

No one asks about the slight bulge in his jeans. Or the arm he stretches across the back of the couch – in your direction, not Yachi’s.

Your breath catches, and you lift your cup to your mouth quickly. “Cut it out,” you hiss, hidden, and he smiles down at nothing.

“‘m not doing anything,” he breathes back, unheard over the music.

“Bullshit.” 

He laughs softly, but he knows you’re right. So he extracts himself, standing carefully and pointing in explanation toward the hall when Bokuto looks up at him curiously. He pushes through the crowd, rounding the corner and taking the stairs up to the second floor. The music is quieter here, and he knows that no one else would venture this far – because everyone knows Bokuto, but no one knows Bokuto. Not like the group of you.

He disappears into the bathroom by Bokuto’s bedroom, clean and uncrowded. His phone screen reads 11:08 when he checks it – endless parties just like this, and tonight, he’s barely managing an hour and a half in the same room as you. He stares at his reflection in the mirror, breathing deep. His vision’s still a little blurry, and his head is still swimming. His cheeks are flushed, and his eyes are heated, betraying how you’re affecting him. 

He fixes himself in his jeans so it’s a little less obvious and then runs his fingers through his hair with a sigh. Now that he’s alone, he can see that he definitely needs to sober up a bit. He needs to act right, because he knows the stakes are high. His brain feels clearer, and it’s sinking in that he’s pushing the line with you. That there’s something about you – something about this morning – that makes him want to forget the rules, when he really shouldn’t.

Maybe he’s just too drunk. Maybe he’ll be better about this when he’s sober.

The memory of you crying under him flashes in his mind, and he has to shake his head, leaning his hands on the counter. Maybe those memories won’t come when he’s in control enough to stop them. He has to hope that they won’t, because right now, his mental faculties aren’t listening to him.

Right now, he’s thinking about how you’d squirmed in his lap when he’d fingered you. About how your head had knocked back lightly against the wall when you’d come on his tongue, sweet and warm and wet enough to make him just a little bit obsessed with you. About how you’d looked up at him with wide eyes while you’d jerked him off, asking if you were doing okay. Asking for his approval. 

Keiji’s breath comes hard now, and he shakes his head again in a weak attempt to clear it.

The way you’d moaned like a proper porn star when he’d pushed into you for the first time.

The way you’d felt around him, velvety and tight and like no one he’d ever been with before you.

The way you’d clung to him, desperate and scared when he’d threatened to pull away – pleas on those plush, pink lips and tears in those pretty little eyes. Bullying him rudely to his orgasm.

“Fuck,” he breathes. He needs to get it together.

He thumps himself lightly on the head a few times with the heel of his hand, silently begging his boner to go away as he turns to leave the bathroom.

You’re standing on the other side of the door, a frown on your face as you lean against the wall.

Fuck.

“What’re you up to, Akaashi?” you demand drunkenly, your lips pushing out in a whiny pout that makes his cock twitch in his jeans.

Fuck.

“What?” he says, trying to slip past you toward the stairs. You get in his way.

“We decided t’be normal,” you slur, stepping close to him. Your perfume clouds his brain. “You’re not bein’ normal.”

Your chest bumps against his when he tries to move past again, and he finds his hands on your waist before he can think it through.

“And you decided t’follow me up here,” he breathes tightly, walking you back quickly into the wall. Your eyes go wide when your back bumps against it, but the gasp that falls past your lips is because he’s pushing his hips against yours, still half-hard. “You did this.”

“I didn’t-I haven’ done anything,” you try, glancing down in hazy surprise at where he’s pressed against you. “You’re the one who keeps touchin’ me and– and teasing me.”

“Yeah? Is it fucking with you?” he coos, mocking. “Welcome t’the club.”

Your eyes search his. “'Kaashi,” you whisper, slurred. His eyes drop to your lips.

He doesn’t like it when you say his name like that. Soft and pleading. 

It makes him want to do terrible things to you.

“Careful, Y/n.”

He doesn’t mean to say it like that. He’s actually asking you to be careful, because he’s not in his right mind and you’re making it worse. You’re making everything worse, and he’s more than happy to blame this on you. But the way it comes out – the way he talks to you – is with a tone he knows better than to use outside the bedroom.

He watches the tension leave your body, and you start to blink up at him rapidly, your face burning and radiating heat into the very limited space between you. He watches your demeanor change – watches you swallow nervously and break eye contact, watches you purse your lips and breathe shallowly – and something in him aches for you.

For the first time all day, he regrets sleeping with you. Because now he’s not sure he can ever recover.

“Uhm,” you start, voice shaky. “Maybe we should go back-”

“Akaashi! Y/n!” 

You gasp, and your hands find his chest. You shove hard, and he stumbles back toward the opposite wall with wide eyes. You both turn toward the stairs, watching Bokuto trip and fall up the last few steps. He looks down the hall with wide eyes, giggling loudly when he sees you.

“There you are!” And then he narrows his gaze at you dramatically, examining the situation as he stands. “Oh, no-” He pouts, crossing his arms. “Are you two fighting? This is a party! We’re with friends!”

Keiji sobers instantly, eyes flying to yours as the reality of the night hits him. As he realizes how close you’d come to getting caught, and on the very first day at that. You look just as alarmed as he feels. He doesn’t know how he could ever have explained what’s just happened to anyone else. How things had gotten that far.

He turns without a word and brushes past Bokuto. He barrels down the stairs, ignoring Bokuto’s cry of ‘eh?! where’s he going?!’ and heading straight for the door. It slams behind him, and he races out of the building and toward the street.

He swears loudly on the entire walk home.

–

It isn’t until noon on Sunday that you wake up, groggy and disoriented. You slap your hand around on your bed blindly for your phone, the sunlight that’s streaming through the window making the room feel hot and making you groan. You retrieve your phone from the depths of your bed, squinting at it with a growing headache and a serious case of dry-mouth.

There are some texts from Kuroo and Yachi, asking if you feel as positively terrible as they do, and an all-caps text from Bokuto to the massive group chat, thanking everyone for coming to the party. There’s even a text from Tsukishima, asking if you got home alright and if you know where Akaashi had gone.

Akaashi.

You roll over and bury your face in the pillow, groaning loudly. He’d left so abruptly, and you’d even texted him – multiple times – to drunkenly ask where he’d gone and if he was okay. You check those texts now, clicking into the thread.

[11:16 PM]

You: whewred yiu go>?!?!

You: are yoim okai???

[11:59 PM]

You: akaaaaaashiiiii

You: whyaw didn yoo leave so sunddnly?

[12:39 AM]

You: at lest tellme if tju got ahaome safew

[9:19 AM]

Akaashi: im fine thanks

Your lips twist into a scowl, and you throw your phone down, minorly annoyed by his response. He’d run out of the party without a single word, after teasing you all night and then pinning you up against the wall and fucking with your head. And now he’s going to act cold to you, like he hadn’t admitted to wanting you last night?

Whatever.

You kick your legs over the side of the bed, ignoring the throbbing pain in your head as you stumble down the hallway to shower and get ready for the day. You make a pot of coffee and rummage through your fridge for something that’ll fix your hangover, and then you settle down at your desk and check your personal email, just to see if the new video with Akaashi had been received well.

There’s a string of emails sitting right at the top of your inbox, the last received at 10am.

[10:00 AM] Account Updates (Oct. 22) – New Followers: 2,139; New Comments: 608; New Video View Count: 87,903

[9:36 AM] Congratulations! Your new video has made over $500.

[5:02 AM] Congratulations! Your new video has made over $400.

[3:47 AM] Congratulations! Your new video has made over $300.

[1:59 AM] Congratulations! Your new video has made over $200.

[10:29 PM] Congratulations! Your new video has made over $100.

You stare at the subject lines, your head swimming.

“Holy shit.”

You log into your account in a rush of adrenaline, unable to believe this is really happening. You click quickly into your profile and scroll down to the section for profit information.

$529 dollars, made off of the video of Akaashi fingering you.

That’s almost everything you have in your bank account – doubled in one night.

That’s rent.

That’s rent.

“Holy shit.” You sit back and stare at the number for ten minutes, watching in growing shock as it flicks to $535 and then to $541 in that span of time. You’ve got 137 message requests sitting in the top right corner – 137 more opportunities to make money, if you just dedicate an hour or two a day to sending off quick and flirty one-liners to the horny men flooding your inbox.

Your hand reaches for your phone, because you have to tell Akaashi the amazing news – but then you remember how odd his last text had been. You frown slightly and put your phone back down. You don’t have anyone else to talk to about this – and you want to talk about this, to marvel and wonder at how this could have happened – but you don’t want him to ruin your mood, either.

So you don’t. You don’t tell him – if he wants to know how the video did, he can look for himself. He’s a collaborator on the account now. 

You just roll your shoulders back and pull up your video editing software, getting to work.

You have money to make.

–

“Are you okay?” Yachi says the next morning, watching you with thin amusement as you yawn so wide that your jaw cracks. You nod sleepily, following her into the coffee shop.

“Just a long night. ‘m okay.” You scrub at your brow, suppressing another yawn while you wait in line. You’d spent most of yesterday editing the other two videos and responding to messages, and then you’d taken three hours to record solo content, staying up until nearly 3am editing those videos, too. You’d hoped that the solo content wouldn’t lose you followers, actually, since it had been clear just how well-received the partner content is.

But the work had been worth it, because you’d posted one of the solo videos last night and woken up to 500 more followers and another $300 in profit, both from the video with Akaashi and from the spillover of the new followers going back through your old videos and the new solo video. It turns out your solo content is good; it just hadn’t gotten enough traction to make any money. Now, there’s a lot of traffic to even your first couple videos, and every video is bringing in money.

So, even though you’re falling asleep while standing in a coffee shop at 9am, you feel that every moment of sleep lost was a moment of incoming financial peace.

“D’you know what you want yet?” Yachi asks, peering at the menu. “I’m not sure.”

“You get the same thing every time,” you state simply, only smiling when she shoots you a sideways glance. “But I can go first, if you’re totally not sold yet on your medium almond milk vanilla latte.”

“Yes, please,” she says brightly, and you cut past her to get to the counter. You order your drink and a breakfast sandwich, feeling for the first time in weeks that there’s no crippling guilt when you spend the money. It feels nice, being able to give yourself even this small treat.

“Y/n!” 

You flinch at the booming voice, already identifying its owner. You turn, stepping off to the side to let Yachi order while you smile at an excited Bokuto. The man bounds up to you, arms swinging, and you’re left wondering how he could possibly have any energy this early.

“Hi, Kou – How was your Sunday?”

“Oh, you know.” He shrugs. “Spent it cleaning vomit out of my rug. But I slept like a little baby, so I feel great today!” He glances past you. “Hitoka!”

The little blond woman flinches at the volume, much like you had, and turns after she pays, joining you with a grin. “Kou! Still on to talk about those recruitment flyers later?”

“Oh, God, yes! I need you!” Bokuto seems to almost vibrate in place, and you let them talk, keeping an ear out for your order while you shut your eyes to let out a deep yawn.

“Hi, Yachi.”

The yawn dissipates in your throat. You snap your head around, finding Akaashi hovering at Bokuto’s shoulder. He’s smiling politely down at Yachi, one hand tucked into his fall coat and the other gripping an extra-large coffee cup. The tired look in his eye tells you he’d lost sleep over something, even though neither Bokuto nor Yachi comment on it.

“Hi, Akaashi,” Yachi says. “We missed you at the party after you left.”

“Yeah, sorry about that,” he laughs quietly. “I started to feel pretty sick, so I left.”

“Aw, that’s unfortunate,” she commiserates. “Are you feeling better?”

“I am, thank you.” He nods, his body language and manners betraying that well-spoken, gentle demeanor that everyone speaks so highly about. You wonder how many people know that Akaashi’s a complete mess before he’s had coffee and anything but gentle in bed.

He turns to Bokuto now, speaking softly. “Ready? I have to teach.”

The silver-haired man nods happily, waving at you and Yachi. “Gotta go! See you lovely ladies at lunch!”

You wave him off, flicking your eyes to Akaashi. He’s got his gaze on you as he passes, emotionless and bordering on disinterest. He doesn’t say a word to you, and then he’s gone, leaving you in the wake of his silence and his annoyingly attractive cologne.

You frown slightly, only pulled away by the sound of your name at the counter. You collect your drink and breakfast, finding Yachi scowling deeply beside you as she stares out the door.

“What an asshole,” she grumbles, only shrugging when you bite out a surprised laugh. “He didn’t even say hi to you! That’s so rude.”

“That’s just how he is,” you mutter, staring down at the lid of your cup.

That’s just how he’s always been. So why does it feel so much worse now?

–

It happens again, only twenty minutes later.

You’d left Yachi at the crossroads separating the Linguistics building and the Marketing building, waving and wishing her good luck with her morning of teaching and dissertation work. You’d trekked up to your office, dropping your things off and heading back down to the first floor quickly in order to make some copies of the handout for your Syntax discussion. You stand in the administrative office while the copies print, and then – after a full minute of arguing with yourself – you make the copies for Akaashi’s section, too. Because the two of you had always had that system, and you wouldn’t allow him to see that he’s affected you enough to impact your professional relationship.

You leave them in both mailboxes and head to the elevator, your coffee sipped slowly as you make your way down the long hallway. There’s an open classroom door on your left, a quiet voice slipping out and echoing in the empty hall.

“...the exponence of morphological features will arise differently depending on the language and its family – take agglutinating languages, for example-”

You glance toward the room, knowing that soft, steady voice anywhere.

Akaashi’s turning his back to the classroom, lifting his right hand toward the chalkboard, when you see him. He’s shed his fall coat, folded over the back of his chair now, and you take him in properly as you pass, as though in slow motion. He’s wearing his standard black slacks and white button-down, but there’s no accompanying sweater vest on top today, completely changing his cozy, boy-next-door vibe into something much more flustering. 

He’s got the top two buttons undone and the sleeves rolled haphazardly up to his elbows, which you know is a public speaking habit of his. His left hand sits tucked into the pocket of his slacks, a few thin, silver bracelets stacked on that wrist and his tattoo easy to spot on his right forearm as he lifts it to the board. His hair falls into his eyes a bit, and his glasses sit neatly on his face, perfectly completing the dreadfully sexy professorial energy he’s exuding.

You’re hit with a wave of attraction, worsened when his gaze finds yours through the open doorway. He holds the eye contact as he turns, and you see it’s that same, detached look he’s giving you. But whatever he’s seeing on your face – likely mortifying, given the warmth flooding your face – has one of his eyebrows lifting, a scowl pulling on his lips. He tears his eyes from yours, finally pressing the chalk in his hand to the board in front of him.

“Languages like Korean, Japanese, and Turkish – although in different language families – bear their exponence in a transparent manner, with morphemes stacking in a particular way depending on how the morphological features are assigned and collected…”

You pause just past the door, out of sight, and feel entirely out of place with the strange gnawing sensation that’s beginning to form in your chest. 

–

You try your best not to let him get to you throughout the day, but you still find yourself sitting in your office half an hour before lunch, anyway, wondering if you should try talking to him. You know he’s across the hall, and you wonder if maybe you just need a few minutes alone with him to figure out why he’s acting so strange. Had the party really screwed things up that much between you?

You stand and head to the door, stepping into the hall and even making it as far as the single step to his door, your hand raised to knock, before you stop. You hesitate. Maybe he’s upset with you, for whatever reason. Had you done anything bad at the party? No, you don’t think so. It had mostly been his doing, even though he’d blamed you for it outside the bathroom. You don’t think you’d actually done anything except be there, and he can’t really be mad at you for that.

Still, you turn back to your office, suddenly uncertain about confronting him. You return to your desk, settling down with a conflicted sigh and opening your laptop to keep working until lunch.

Your phone buzzes on the desk.

[1:45 PM]

Akaashi: what is it?

Your heart jumps, and you type quickly.

You: nothing

Akaashi: you were going to knock

You: it’s fine

Akaashi: just tell me.

You groan, trying to figure out what to say. ‘I wanted to see if we’re okay’ is completely unhinged and a little bit crazy, and ‘Just checking on you after the party’ is entirely out of character for you. So you just sigh and type up the best excuse you can.

You: was just gonna tell you the first video made over 500

You: and my other stuff is making money now too

You: my rent for november is covered

You: so.. thanks ig

There’s a minute or two of silence before he answers, a minute or two that feel distinctly longer.

Akaashi: …

Akaashi: you were seriously coming to say that to me?

Akaashi: out loud? here?

Akaashi: really, y/n?

You bristle, filled with an irrational anger. Obviously, that’s not what you’d been going to his office to talk about, because obviously you know better. But you hadn’t been able to come up with anything better to tell him, and now you’re being scolded for it.

And how dare he say that to you, after he’d been all over you on Saturday night? In front of all your friends, no less?

You type an angry response.

You: well i didnt DO it, did i?

You: unlike you, i have decent judgment of what should and shouldnt be done in public.

Akaashi: excuse me?

Akaashi: wtf is that supposed to mean??????

You: use that brain of yours and figure it tf out.

Akaashi: you have decent judgment of what shouldnt be done in public?

Akaashi: yet you just LOVE to keep your windows open

Akaashi: dont you, y/n

There’s a piece of you, larger than you’d ever admit, that loves to be the person who makes Akaashi Keiji’s perfect little walls come crashing down.

You: at least thats done in the privacy of my own home

You: not the privacy of someone else’s 

You: especially not with all our friends right around the corner

Akaashi: oh go to hell

You: see you there, freak.

You throw your phone down and let out an irritated scream that echoes off the walls of your office. You’re certain Akaashi’d heard it, but you can’t bring yourself to care what he thinks or doesn’t think of you today.

You work until lunch, distracted and angry while you respond to emails and grade a few assignments. When Bokuto texts your small group chat asking about lunch, Kuroo’s expected response of ‘We meet every SINGLE day, Bokuto!’ coming in only seconds later, you slam your laptop shut and pack up.

Akaashi’s leaving his office at the same time as you. He frowns instantly when he sees you, and you scowl openly at him.

“Think you might have a banshee in your office,” he says tightly, pulling his door closed and walking off ahead of you. “There was a demonic scream echoing in the hall earlier.”

You roll your eyes, following him to the elevator. “Worry about your own office, Akaashi. There’s an icy bitch inhabiting your desk.”

He snorts, jamming his finger against the down button. “That’s real classy, Y/n. Can you afford lunch today, or do you need a loaner?”

You whip your head around, staring up at him in shock. His eyes slide shut right away, jaw clenched, and he lets out a deep sigh. When he looks at you again, his gaze is full of regret.

“Sorr-”

“I’ll take the stairs,” you snap, turning on your heel and marching toward the stairwell.

“Y/n-” You hear him follow behind you, even as the elevator dings with its arrival. You throw the door open, ignoring as it slams against the wall, and stomp down the five flights of stairs. He barely stops the door from shutting in his face, his voice echoing in the empty hallway as he flies down the steps after you. “Y/n, come on-”

“Fuck you,” you spit, refusing to look at him even as he’s catching up to you on the landing between the third and fourth floors.

He wraps his hand around your bicep, spinning you around to him. “I’m sorry, okay? That was fucked up-”

You snatch your arm back. “Why did you follow me, Akaashi? You want your 20% now or something? Sorry, I have to transfer it over to my bank first, if that’s fucking okay with you.”

His face scrunches up in irritation. “That’s not what I was saying-”

“You want me to cover your lunch? How’s that? You worried I’m not good for my word?” You spin back around, continuing your march. He sighs angrily behind you.

“You’re so fucking insufferable sometimes,” he snaps.

“Then cut your losses and get out while you can, asshole.”

He’s silent for a moment as he follows you, and then he’s bitter with his response. “You need me.”

You whirl around, cornering him against the wall by the fire exit on the first floor. Your voice drops to a hiss, rage seething in your veins as you lean up into his face. “I’d rather be homeless than fuck you again, Akaashi Keiji.”

He grits his teeth, and he takes your face in one hand, fingertips digging into your cheeks and squeezing tight. You let out a quiet noise of surprise, eyes widening marginally. His eyes are dead of emotion now, but you can see in the fluttering clench of his jaw that he’s angry with you.

“Don’t-” He squeezes your face and pulls you closer, breath fanning out over your lips. “-make threats you can’t follow through on, Y/n.” He lifts his brows knowingly. “You need me.”

You shudder in his grasp, eyes flicking between his and chest heaving with angry breaths. There’s a moment of panic in your chest, because you do need him. You do need him, but he doesn’t need you.

Then why is he so adamant about keeping you?

You scan him quickly, realizing that his chest is heaving, too. That he looks just as frustrated – that his eyebrow is twitching and that his eyes are searching yours. That he’s swallowing hard, waiting for your response.

He needs this, too. You don’t know why, but that much is clear to you. And it’s enough.

“What’s wrong, Akaashi?” you murmur, watching his eyes drop to your lips when you respond. “Worried I’ll find someone else to fuck and throw you away?” 

His fingers tighten on your face, but you see it – the panic that you feel, reflected in his eyes. It makes your chest swell with satisfaction, and something else you can’t place. Something like relief.

“Shut up,” he hisses. “Shut up, Y/n-”

His phone rings in his coat pocket, loud and jarring and ripping you right out of this moment with him. His eyes widen, and you raise a hand to smack his arm away, and then you stumble back as he fumbles for his phone.

It’s Bokuto, if the muffled screaming on the other end is enough to tell you anything.

“Hi, Bokuto,” Akaashi mutters, the heat in his voice gone – the polite, sweet, soft-spoken walls coming right back up, brick by brick. “Yeah. I’m on my way.” His eyes flick to you, empty. “Yeah. She’s with me.” He stares right into your eyes, that dead expression solidifying on his face. “Yes. I’ll tell her to check her many messages.”

You pat your pockets quickly, wondering how you could have been so caught up with Akaashi that you’d missed something. Your eyes go wide when you look at the screen – it’s been ten minutes since you’d said you’d meet them for lunch, and Bokuto’s spam-called you six times.

[2:36 PM]

Kou: Y/N!!!!!!! ARE YOU OKAYYYYYYY??????

You type back a quick response.

[2:41 PM]

You: yes omg sorry im omw now

Kou: PLEASE DONT BE FIGHTING WITH AKAASHIIIIII

You: we’re not i promise!!! be there soon

“We’re not gonna have time to eat,” you mumble to yourself – you both need to be in Syntax in twenty minutes. Akaashi brushes past you, heading out the fire exit door.

“Walk fast and eat faster, then.”

You follow behind, sighing heatedly. “I hate you,” you bite under your breath.

“Yeah, well-” His long strides don’t have any intention of accommodating you as he heads to the dining hall. “-I’m not so fucking fond of you, either.”

By the time lunch is over, even Kuroo’s texting you asking if something had happened.

–

Tuesday morning doesn’t go much better.

You’re still angry from the day before, short of patience as you get ready to bike to the LEM meeting and already itching for another fight by the time you settle into one of the chairs in the lab room. Other people file in slowly, and you manage to mask your anger long enough to smile at everyone and ask about their weekend. Your advisor pats you on the shoulder in a fatherly way when he enters, sighing deep as he settles in beside you.

“You’re not presenting today, right?” he asks, checking his phone for emails idly.

“No, I don’t have the pilot data yet,” you mumble regretfully. He just shrugs, shaking his head.

“You have a lot going on. No need to stress about it just yet.” And then he eyes you over his bifocals. “Have you figured something out, though?”

You warm, because Akaashi’s cologne is drifting into the room, just over your shoulder. You know that he’s heard it, because he lingers for just long enough before moving to the TV that you can tell he’d been caught off guard.

“Yes,” you say under your breath, your ears burning. “I figured something out, thank you. I should be good to start data collection next week.”

“Good to hear.” Your advisor nods, and you let out a steadying breath. “Okay,” he says, louder and to the group, clapping his hands. “We have Keiji for updates first, and then-” he points between two of your other cohort-mates. “-you two can fight over who goes next.”

You watch Akaashi go straight into his 20-minute run, explaining some updates he’d made to his theoretical framing and some more thoughts he has for his dissertation. You, as usual, are convinced of his logic, but there’s something about the way he refuses to look at you – cyan eyes passing over you like you’re a ghost – that makes your blood boil. Something about the way he nearly rolls his eyes when he accidentally does meet your gaze, because he can certainly see the burning anger all over your face.

Maybe that’s why – even though you don’t have a single piece of criticism to give him – you open your mouth when he asks ‘Any questions?’ in that gentle tone you hate so much.

“I have one.”

Everyone’s head whips around to you, because you never speak during Akaashi Keiji’s Q&A session. 

But it’s Akaashi’s reaction that spurs you on. His eyes fly to yours when he hears your voice, and you watch shock, confusion, irritation, and – finally – vague interest flit across his face in a matter of milliseconds.

“Okay?” he says, the confusion slipping through in the uptick of his voice.

“Your proposed analysis – what are the implications it has for research testing native Korean speakers?”

He lifts one eyebrow, and you feel the room shift. 

“You’re asking me-” The other brow joins in now. “-how my research applies to yours?”

You clench your jaw, searching his gaze. He’d said it like he was offended, but you can see he’s pushing you. “I’m asking how your analysis can be used by other linguists in the field – not just to study the grammar of native Korean speakers theoretically, but to study the grammar empirically. With real data-”

“I have data-”

“You have judgments,” you snap. “Native Korean speaker judgments from your consultants. Two consultants, yes?” He nods, and you nod back. “Right. And you expect your two consultants’ individual grammars to speak systematically for the whole of the Korean grammar?”

It’s a cheap shot, but a valid one – for someone else. Not for Akaashi. You know this well enough, that the primary job of theoretical syntacticians is to formulate analyses and proposals of a language’s grammar. You know well enough that it’s not his job to figure out if his analysis will make the cut if tested with a large sample of speakers.

That’s your job. And the job of experimentalists more broadly. It’s your job to take his theory and prove it right or wrong. It’s only his job to craft his logic and evidence in a way that makes the argument worth proving.

And Akaashi knows that, too.

“What would you like me to do, Y/n?” he asks tightly. “Would you like me to run the experiment myself and put you out of a job?”

“Okay-” your advisor starts to cut in, but you speak over him.

“What about all the previous research, Akaashi? The research that’s tested syntactic analyses which differ from yours but still find supporting results? Would you like the field to throw all that away and believe you instead? How do you account for those findings? What’s the bigger picture?”

His eyes light up, molten hot. “What I’d like is a unified syntax of Korean case marking, which the field has been missing for decades. It’s up to someone like you to test my theory; it’s up to someone like me to take your results and update my analysis, over and over and over again until we get it right. That’s what linguistics is about.”

You lean forward, elbows digging into the wooden table. It’s quiet enough in the room that you can hear him breathing across the room, ragged and rough and irritated.

“If you want someone like me to go through the trouble of testing your theory, you should do a better job of convincing me it’s worth my time.” You glare hard at him, your heart skipping when you watch that wall come down. He looks exactly the same, poised and perfect and well-mannered, but his eyes betray how badly he wants to tell you exactly what’s on his mind. 

So you smile at him, cold and mocking, and push him over the edge. “Or else linguistics will move on without you.”

“Okay!” you advisor says, looking between you and Akaashi with wide eyes. “I think we get it, you two. Let’s move on to someone else, please – I’m too old for this.”

You stand quickly, the chair scraping across the floor, and barge from the room. 

“Y/n!” your advisor calls just as the door is slamming behind you. A moment later, you hear his voice again, muffled. “Keiji!”

The door swings open, and the sound of the lab erupting in chaos echoes through the hall, your advisor’s ‘okay, okay, settle down everyone-’ muted by the door shutting again.

“What the hell is your problem?” Akaashi bites behind you, and you glance back while you walk, finding him stalking after you. You roll your eyes, heading for your office. 

“You heard my problem. Your research is isolated and inapplicable-”

“Inapplicable-”

“Goodbye, Akaashi,” you snap, unlocking the door and shouldering your way inside. You throw it shut behind you, but his hand slams down on the wood, startling you. You whirl around with wide eyes and watch him slam the door, the frosted glass window rattling from the force. The two of you are left in the silence of your office, both of your breaths audible in the space between you.

“Inapplicable?” he hisses again, eyes glinting.

“What do you want me to say, Akaashi?” you bark, letting him get in your face. “You want me to just ignore that you’re not thinking about the consequences of your own research?” You poke him hard in the chest. “If you don’t take responsibility for the work you’re putting out into the field, then don’t expect me to be okay with fumbling to use your grammar to explain my data.”

He pushes forward, cornering you against your desk. “That’s exactly what your job is, Y/n. It’s your responsibility to figure out what speakers are doing, just like it’s my responsibility to figure out how to explain that. And you’re not stupid enough to believe otherwise. We need each other-”

“No, what I need-” You stand tall, feeling his breath mingle with yours in the space between your lips. “-is to not be handed another ‘grammar of Korean’ that’s been decreed into a fucking void.”

He doesn’t say a word, just letting his eyes flit between yours angrily. He’s breathing hard, just as hard as you are, and his eyebrows are twitching as he glares down at you. You hold your ground, whispering an admission to him.

“You might be a genius, Akaashi, but you really need to be put in your place sometimes.”

You watch in real time as his demeanor changes.

The anger drains from his body language and his face, leaving him with shock and a lip that’s curling in amusement as he stares down at you with wide eyes.

“Oh, is that right?” he breathes. “And-what? You think you’re gonna do that for me?” You start to protest, but he just takes a step forward, sudden and forceful, and you take a surprised seat on the desk with a gasp. He towers over you, that smile dangerous. “You really think you can do that, Y/n? When you aren’t even confident enough in your own work?”

Your brows furrow, offended. “What-”

“With your shy little smile and your uncertain little laugh when you present to the lab-” he whispers, breath fanning over you as you stare up at him. “With that fucking look you get in your eye,” he growls under his breath. “Like you don’t know what to make of your own research. Of your own skills. Makes me fucking sick.”

You try to stand, but he just leans down, planting his hands on either side of you. His nose brushes yours, and his eyes fill with a heat that isn’t anger. It’s something else, and you can’t place it.

He lifts his eyebrows. “You think you can put me in my place? That would mean we’re on the same level, wouldn’t it? Is that what you’re saying?” When you don’t respond, he speaks slower, like he’s talking down to you. 

“Are you a genius, too, Y/n?”

You scowl at him. “I’m not beneath you, Akaashi. I never have been.”

He shifts, and you finally place it – that heat in his eyes, the one that burns through you and makes your heart race.

It’s excitement.

It excites him to fight with you like this.

And the smile that stretches across his face, tinged with what you can only describe as pride, is starting to excite you, too. Because fighting with him feels good. Because you can see that it makes him feel good, too. It feels good to be pushed like this, to show someone else who you really are and be accepted for that, good or bad. 

Especially the bad. 

This may be the first time you’ve ever been glad that Akaashi Keiji treats you differently.

He steps impossibly closer to you, and you find your thighs parting to let him into the space before you can realize it. His smile grows, and his breath hitches in time with the lurch of anticipation that fills you, because he’s leaning down over you, forcing you to collapse back onto your elbows.

“If you’re a genius, Y/n,” he whispers, carding his fingers ever so gently through your hair. You shudder, chest heaving with a gasp when he pulls taut, fisting your hair painfully in his hand. His eyes twinkle with that terrifying excitement that makes your veins sing for him, and you’re distantly aware that he’s hard against your inner thigh. “Then I want you to fucking act like it.”

The shaky breath you let out is laced with a moan, and his gaze flies down to your lips, his smile stretching into something wild and wicked. He meets your eyes again, that blue-green gaze piercing when he asks–

“Do you think you can do that?”

You shiver, the reaction visceral and entirely visible to him. He smiles and whispers ‘I thought so’, his breath forming goosebumps on your skin.

And then there’s a hard knock on your office door.

“Y/n?” your advisor calls, his blurry shadow visible through the window as he stands just on the other side of the door – on the other side of the terribly compromising position Akaashi has you in on your desk.

Your breath catches, and you struggle against him. “Akaashi-”

He pulls you up quickly with wide eyes, and you both frantically fix your appearances in silence for the half-second it takes you to call ‘It’s open!’ to the door. Akaashi latches onto your arm and drags you forward in a panic, stepping behind you to partially shield himself from view – you have to keep from snickering, because the door’s being pushed open cautiously. 

Your advisor stands in the doorway, examining the two of you with wary eyes. “Are you both alive and in one piece?”

You and Akaashi nod. “Sorry for storming out like that,” you say. “I was… a bit heated.”

The old man snorts. “Oh, really? I couldn’t tell. We had to end early because no one could focus.” He looks over your head at Akaashi. “And you left all your stuff in the lab. Were you heated, too?”

Akaashi clears his throat. “Uh… a bit?”

Your advisor sighs and shakes his head. “I’m gonna start putting you two through hell if you don’t cut it out. Force you to say nice things about each other, or look into each other’s eyes for a full minute, or something.” 

You laugh nervously. “We’re fine. Sorry.”

He rolls his eyes but moves on. “Did you both apply for Ling Expo? We talked about it in the meeting, but some members of the group went missing.”

You flush, shifting your weight. Akaashi’s fingers find the back of your shirt, tugging you back to where you were so he can remained covered. 

“Yes,” he says behind you. “I submitted the abstract last week.” 

You nod in agreement. “Me, too.”

The man sighs, nodding back. “We’re all going again this year, so make sure to block the weekend of November 15th off.” You both make noises of understanding, and he takes a moment to look between you. His eyes narrow as he examines you, and then Akaashi over your head, and then you again. He purses his lips and hums. “There’s something about this situation that makes me want to make you leave this door open, but I’m not your father, so…” 

A rush of heat washes over you, and Akaashi coughs awkwardly behind you. 

“Are you allowed to say that?” he mumbles, and your advisor throws his head back, giving a belly laugh as he shakes his head. 

“It’s none of my business what you two get up to in your free time.”

You chuckle nervously. “Are you allowed to say that?”

His laugh, loud and booming and satisfied, can be heard down the hall long after he’s gone.

–

Keiji collapses into his chair, slumping down over his desk and burying his face in his folded arms.

“Fuck,” he groans, muffled and inaudible outside of himself. He thumps a fist on the desk twice, overwhelming embarrassment flooding every cell in his body.

What the hell was he thinking, cornering you against your desk like that? Why is he entirely incapable of containing himself when he’s alone with you? What had you done to him – what witchcraft has taken hold over him?

When he’d woken up on Sunday, he’d spent several hours in a puddle of dread, unmoving from his bed as he’d stared at the ceiling and contemplated what to do. He’d chalked most of his behavior from the party up to the alcohol, but he also knows himself well enough to know that he’d only acted that way because those feelings – those desires that had been threaded under his skin – were lingering somewhere unreachable inside him.

He’d decided by the end of the day that he would need to overcompensate in order to keep your mutual friends from catching on to the fact that there’s a live wire inside him that sparks dangerously every time he even so much as thinks about you. He would need to be more detached than ever if he were to stand any chance of keeping this arrangement with you a secret.

And then he’d overdone it, in that cafe yesterday morning. He’d ignored you deliberately, and he could feel almost instantly when your energy had shifted. And when he’d seen you pass by his class, he’d been a mix of surprised – because seeing you had thrown his heart into his throat and had scattered his thoughts like loose paper – and desperate not to let his students see that he’d lost his train of thought. So he’d scowled at you like you were the last thing he’d ever want to see, and, in the midst of rattling off knowledge that’s been sitting idly in the back of his mind for years, he’d felt a twinge of regret that he’d reacted that way.

And he’d known that you were coming to check in on him. He’d known – by the way you’d lingered at his door, by the way your weight had shifted, by the way your steps had sounded so uncertain – that you were confused. That you wanted to know why he was acting this way. But he’d felt an overwhelming panic at the idea that you might be able to sense his real feelings for what they are – that you’d be able to see just by looking at him that he’s almost concerningly attracted to you. So he’d lashed out over text, and then he’d lashed out at the elevator bay, because even when you’d called him an ‘icy bitch’, all he could focus on was the snarky edge to your voice and how badly he’d wanted to smother it.

When you’d threatened – emptily, but anxiety-inducing nonetheless – to put this arrangement to bed and move on from him, he’d lost his mind in that stairwell. He’d lost his mind, and he’d let his nerves show. And you’d latched onto them instantly, because, as he’s coming to learn, you can read him a little too well.

And that’s terrifying.

It’s terrifying to wonder, in a room full of all of Keiji’s peers – in front of his own advisor, for fuck’s sake – if his attraction to you when you level him with that challenging glare is as palpable to everyone else as it is to him.

It’s terrifying to wonder if you can see what a confused, muddled mess of a man he’s become since sleeping with you. Ricocheting between wanting you and hating you and somewhere right in the middle, where he feels both.

He’s found himself in that middle ground often over the last 48 hours.

And then he’d cornered you against your desk, not even ten minutes ago, and bullied you to your limit – forcing the admission of your own capabilities from your lips like psychological torture, entirely unable to hide how much that had excited him. How much it had affected him, watching you fold like that for him. 

But you’d shown yourself to him, too. You’d shown him how excited you’d gotten when you’d realized how he was feeling. You’d shown him that this terrible, confusing knot of uncontainable want that twists in his gut when he meets your eyes– 

It’s mutual.

And that – that is more dangerous than anything before it.

Keiji sits up, hands shaking slightly as he presses circles into his temples and leans back in his chair. He slides his laptop in front of him and opens it, navigating to the site for Ling Expo in order to clear his thoughts.

A small part of a much larger conference event that hosts multiple different departments all engaging in their own specialized events for three days straight, Ling Expo is held every year in mid-November and boasts the largest gathering of linguistic scholars in the whole of Japan.

At least, that’s what it says on the home page when he scrolls through it.

In reality, the LEM members – all students of his advisor – are carted away for a weekend to Tokyo’s largest hotel and conference center, regardless of whether or not any of them are presenting. He gets out of a Friday of teaching and spends three days networking, and – luckily – hanging out with his friends, because every department at this university has a group that goes.

Thankfully, it’s all paid for by the university. And, hopefully, he might not find himself in any weird academic standoffs with you this year. The two of you had always been careful not to let your rivalry become clear externally, because that reeks of a lack of professionalism, but there was always something that would tip the weekend into a mess of underhanded comments and awkward encounters in the extensive buffet line.

Maybe this time, things would be different.

Well, things are already different, so he’s not really fooling himself with this positive thinking. Because different could be good or bad.

His phone buzzes in his back pocket, and he closes the tab for Ling Expo while he extracts it. It’s a text sent to the group chat of the larger friend group, only ever used when Bokuto’s too impatient to text both of his smaller groups.

[12:17 PM]

Bokuto: DID YOU GUYS SEE THERES A NEW CLUB OPENING TODAY???? 

Bokuto: WE H A V E TO GO!!!!

Keiji sighs, rubbing the bridge of his nose. The last thing he needs is to get caught in another terrifying encounter with you, especially at some crowded club with all his friends there to witness it, but he knows how Bokuto can get when he’s told no. So he just opens his calendar, checking what else he would have had planned tonight.

There’s nothing, but there is something for tomorrow night that catches his eye and makes his heart lurch.

‘Research Updates’ is blocked off from 8pm to midnight, seemingly innocuous. Just as it had been on Saturday morning, from 8am to noon.

He sighs, staring down at the scheduled time. Is that still happening? Surely, it would be, right? 

But, things between you the last two days had been anything but cordial. And you had threatened to end the arrangement, even if it had been empty. 

You text the group chat back, an agreement to go, and he sighs quietly.

He supposes he can go, too.

–

The booming music pounds in Keiji’s head as he squints around in the dark. There’s a pair of hands on his shoulders, guiding him through a sea of people he would rather not be pressed into at the moment. He’s glad he’d decided to change into jeans and a t-shirt, because the slacks-button-down combo would have him soaked in sweat already.

And he’s especially glad you decided to change into a slinky black dress that he never would have guessed that you would own. You’re pushing through the crowd just in front of him now, and he’s sneaking glances down at you as the group fights to find an empty booth.

“There!” Bokuto eventually yells, stretching one of the hands on Keiji’s shoulder out over the distance, locating a singular empty booth. Keiji flinches at the noise, but he follows after you, anyway. You’ve got two hands on Yachi, who has two hands on Kuroo, who has two hands on Tsukishima, who’s complaining while he parts the crowd with his massive frame and leads the group to the table.

Keiji contemplates putting two hands on you, too, because it’s objectively most efficient for keeping the group together. But he doesn’t know how you’ll react – not after his total lapse in judgment in your office earlier. He doesn’t know if you even want him to touch you, now that your head’s probably a bit clearer than it’d been while you’d been trapped under him.

But then there’s a rush of people bumping into him, and he loses you for a moment, so he reaches out as soon as he finds you again – he justifies it as listening to instructions, because Bokuto’s screaming ‘Grab onto her, Akaashi!’ in his ear.

His hands slide across your waist, and a shiver runs down his spine at how you feel under his fingers. You jump at the contact and glance back in panic, probably thinking he’s some weird stranger trying to make a move. When you see it’s just him, you relax a little, but then your eyes fill with nerves, and you’re whipping your head back around to face away from him.

The crowd sways and shifts, forcing the line of you to bunch up in order to not be separated. Bokuto stumbles forward at some point, propelling Keiji right into you. You yelp, tripping, but he catches you, hauling you back against his chest. His breath catches and his heart rate picks up at the feeling of you pressed against him – your perfume wafts over him, and he finds himself leaning down close to your shoulder to breathe it in.

“What are you doing?” you hiss, tensing when his left hand subtly leaves the safety of your waist and slides around you, nestling you back against him more.

“Nothing,” he mumbles back, swallowing and retracting his hand back to your waist. “Just-nothing.”

You glance up at him, hearing his fumble, but it must be too dark to see the flush that spreads across his cheeks, because you only look forward again and focus on following Yachi. He examines you while the group nears the shockingly still-empty booth – he realizes your dress is riding up your thighs, likely from the stumbling and shoving that’s happening in this crowd right now. It rides up enough that he can see the lace edge of your pantyline, and he has to swallow hard, distracted by a memory of lace in other ways.

He reaches down, shielded by the dark, and tugs on the hem of your dress, pulling it back down over your ass. You yelp, looking up at him with alarm.

“Akaashi!” 

He shakes his head tightly, turning you back to the front and leaning down toward you. “Your ass was out – I was fixing it-”

You sigh loudly, turning your mouth to his ear. “You can’t just put your hands on me like that-”

“I can’t?” he bites, not an ounce of heat behind it. “You were fine with it earlier-” He grunts, because you’re driving an elbow into his gut.

“Dumbass,” you grumble, but he sees the warmth in your ears, and he smiles despite himself. 

Tsukishima reaches the table, and the six of you pile into the rounded booth that’s certainly not meant for six. Keiji’s chest presses against your shoulder, and you’re kind enough to angle your body with his so that you’re not digging into his chest painfully. Bokuto calls out across the table.

“I’ll get drinks!” He disappears back into the crowd, and Keiji wonders for a moment if Bokuto can carry enough drinks for six people. Kuroo seems to have the same thought, the man smacking Tsukishima on the arm and pointing out into the ocean of bodies.

“Go with him!”

The blond shakes his head forcefully. “No fucking way – you go!”

Kuroo groans but pushes Tsukishima out of the booth so he can stumble back into the crowd. Keiji relaxes with a sigh as the four of you left fill the booth more comfortably. Yachi starts rambling brightly to Tsukishima about the club, making comments about the music and the dancing. The blond just blinks back at her with empty, unseeing eyes, nodding occasionally. Keiji gets the feeling he can’t hear a word she’s saying.

You shift next to Keiji, your thigh bumping against his, and he finds himself tracing his gaze over your body while you look out at the dance floor. You feel him looking, and you glance up at him with a raised eyebrow. 

“Don’t tell me you’re about to ask me to dance,” you say, your voice barely audible to him. He just tilts his head and gives you a knowing look.

“I don’t dance, Y/n.”

“Oh, you’re so cool,” you mock, cooing at him. He narrows his eyes at you, excitement spilling into his body when he sees how you tense at the glare. It makes him feeler bold – bold, like he’d been in your office, even though he’d sworn to himself only moments after that he wouldn’t do that again.

He swears you’ve cast some sort of curse on him.

He brushes two fingers over your thigh, tugging at the hem of the dress before letting it snap back to your skin. “Where’d you get this?”

You warm, looking up at him with practiced disinterest, but he can feel when your breath changes. “I’ve had it forever.”

“I like it.”

You purse your lips, frowning up at him. “You’re being weird.”

“Am I?” he asks, letting those two fingers trace circles into your thigh and smiling when he feels the goosebumps on your skin. Your eyes flit around his face, and he can see that, under the confusion, there’s anticipation. You’re waiting for him to do something.

“Y/n, look!” Yachi yells next to you, and Keiji pulls his hand back into his lap. He watches as you try, still flustered by him, to follow your friend’s excited pointing into crowd. He tampers a satisfied smile, only pulling his gaze away from you.

It lands on Tsukishima, who’s watching Keiji blankly.

Keiji’s heart drops to his stomach.

The blond flicks his eyes between the two of suspiciously, and then his gaze drops to Keiji’s throat, because he’s swallowing nervously. Tsukishima lifts both eyebrows and then looks away, returning to Yachi’s excited monologue about the well-planned design of the club architecture and decor.

Keiji’s skin hums with adrenaline and anxiety. What is he supposed to do if Tsukishima questions him? Or worse – tells Kuroo?

As if summoned by the devil, Bokuto and Kuroo reappear – they’re holding two trays of shot glasses each, and Keiji stares in shock as Bokuto lines up five shots in front of Keiji.

“Those are for you!” his friend exclaims, doing the same for you. Keiji stares at the shots.

“This’ll put me in the hospital, Bokuto-”

“I have to teach tomorrow,” you add, giving a laugh of exasperation. Bokuto waves it off.

“A problem for tomorrow!” he yells, already picking up one of his own shot glasses. He holds it out toward the middle of the table. “To new experiences!”

Keiji sighs, lifting one of his up, too, to clink against Bokuto’s, and the rest of the table follows.

“To new experiences,” he mumbles, knocking the shot back.

–

Well, Bokuto hadn’t been lying about new experiences, Keiji thinks drunkenly.

His head swims as he stares down at the five empty shot glasses in front of him, wondering where his drinks had gone. You sway beside him, holding a cocktail in both hands as you sip at it – your shot glasses are equally empty, and Keiji’s not exactly sure where you’d pulled an extra drink from.

He watches through blurry vision as Yachi and Bokuto wriggle wildly on the dance floor together, far away enough that he can only tell it’s them by their ridiculous height difference. Kuroo and Tsukishima sit huddled on the other end of the booth, heads bent together as they whisper likely obscene things to each other.

Keiji had worried for about thirty minutes that Tsukishima would tell Kuroo what he’d seen, but the blond seems to have decided that it’s none of his business what happens in this club tonight. Keiji’s grateful for it, especially now that he can see Tsukishima slipping out of the booth, his hand tight in Kuroo’s and both their faces flushed from whatever they’d just talked about. They disappear in the direction of the bathroom, and Keiji snorts to himself.

“‘s one way to do it,” he mumbles, and you lean toward him heavily.

“Hah?” you say, your body pressed against his. “What’dya say?”

“Nothin’,” he slurs, shaking his head. And then he looks down at you, taking you in. Taking in the fact that the two of you have been left alone here in the dark, still visible but not noticeable. He shifts his body toward yours, pressing your sides together while he reaches to pluck your drink from your hands. “What’s this?”

“Hey,” you pout, reaching for it, but he just holds it behind him, forcing you to lean up into his face. Your eyes go wide when you realize how close his are, and he grins down at you, open and unfiltered.

“What is it, Y/n? Can I try?”

“No!” you complain, pressing your body against his as you stretch for the drink. Keiji slips his free arm around your waist, pulling you close.

“Just one sip?”

Your outstretched hand drops to his shoulder, and you say nothing about the arm he has around you. “You’re annoying,” you mumble, glaring hazily up at him. “Get yer own drink.”

He tilts his head toward you, the tequila in his breath mixing with the vodka in yours. “But I wanna taste yours,” he whispers, and your cheeks warm – he hadn’t meant anything sexual by it, but he’s not complaining if you’re taking it that way.

He lifts your drink to his lips, keeping his eyes on you and reveling in the way yours drop to his mouth, and takes a sip. It’s just a Vodka Cranberry, which he’d already guessed by the scent of your breath. He puts it back down on the table, letting you have it again. “Thank you,” he jokes.

“Whatever,” you mutter, cradling the drink again. “Why’ve you been so mean to me this week?”

“Aw,” he coos. “Did I hurt your feelings?”

“Yeah,” you say plainly, pouting. “You made me mad. Made me wanna do bad things.”

Desire spikes in Keiji’s body. “What kinda bad things?”

“Made me wanna be mean to you, too,” you say, oblivious to the way Keiji’s looking at you now. “Made me wanna hurt your feelings, too.”

“You did do that,” he says, laughing at you. “You were so mean.”

“Not mean enough!” you argue, leaning comfortably against him as he holds you. His hand gravitates from his lap to yours, the fingers he’d just had on your drink now cold and damp against your heated skin. You shiver at his touch, and he feels his jeans start to tighten. He draws small circles into your thigh with the pad of his middle finger, his intentions plausibly deniable even though his knuckles brush up against the hem of your dress every time.

“You don’t think calling my work ‘isolated and inapplicable’ is mean enough?” he coos down at you, watching with satisfaction as your lips part and you let out a shaky breath, because his middle finger is slipping once under the hem of your dress before completing the circle. He feels a shock of excitement fly down his spine and spread out across his skin, that live wire sparking in his chest.

He glances out briefly at the dance floor, confirming that Bokuto and Yachi are still jumping around and that Kuroo and Tsukishima have completely disappeared. He’s glad to know that he has more time with you. More time to slide his cold fingers across your flushed skin, more time to feel your body press tight to his. The thought of getting caught like this – with his arm wrapped around you and his fingers hidden under your dress – passes through his mind, and he can’t help that the live wire crackles dangerously, or that his jeans are uncomfortably tight on him now. But, still, he’s glad that no one’s seeing what’s going on over here.

He doesn’t want to share this with anyone else quite yet.

“Hey,” you grumble in his ear, low and whiny enough to make his cock twitch painfully. You grip his face with one hand, turning him back to you. Keiji stares down at you with wide eyes, his breath caught in his chest when you glare up at him and mumble, “You’re not payin’ attention t’me.”

He lets out a weak laugh. “Oh, I’m sorry – were you saying somethin’ important?”

Your pout deepens, and Keiji feels himself leaning toward you, his eyes fixated on your mouth.

“Yeah,” you say, nodding. “I was talkin’ about how you deserve to be bullied.”

He huffs in amused disbelief, just staring down at you. “Y/n.”

“Hm?”

“I have a question.”

“Mm?” You tilt your head, attention his. He starts running his fingers over your skin again, watching when you shiver.

“Are we still meeting tomorrow? Or was I too mean this week?” He swallows hard, hoping you’ll understand what he’s asking. If things are too tense between you – if the arrangement can’t be recovered, after all of his screw-ups this week. 

Your eyes widen, flitting between his, and he grows a little nervous. But then your face warms, and you shift under his fingers, and your eyes drop quickly to his mouth before lifting again.

“I thought we were…” you breathe. “Are we not?”

His skin hums with the need to feel you underneath him again, the possibility of having that tomorrow night no longer hanging in the balance. But still, he has to check. “Not gonna find someone else to fuck ‘n throw me away?”

You giggle at his quote of your own words, and you shake your head. “Unfortunately for me, there’s no one else who meets all my requirements.” You grin up at him, your eyes full of humor, as though what you say next is stupidly obvious.

“‘s gotta be you, 'Kaashi.”

Keiji really regrets sleeping with you.

–

On Wednesday at 7:30pm, you find yourself slapping your hand around on the bedside table for the alarm that’s going off. You find your phone, shutting it off and tossing it down on the bed next to you. 

You’d woken up at 7am this morning, dreadfully hungover, and dragged yourself to campus to teach. You’d stayed in the department until the very first moment that you were no longer needed, and then you’d Uber’d home, throwing your stuff on the floor in your foyer and climbing back into bed.

You repeat the process now, but you feel significantly better after the extra sleep. Instead of the hangover, however, your brain is burdened by the knowledge that Akaashi will be showing up at your door in thirty minutes. You groan, not for the first time today, at the memory of the humiliating things you’d said and done last night. At the way you’d draped yourself all over him and pouted up at him like an idiot, admitting that he’d gotten to you with his behavior this week.

At the way you’d admitted that there can be no one but him in this stupid arrangement.

You grumble the entire time you wait, stomping around the apartment until you hear his knock at your door.

When you wrench the door open, he looks mildly unsettled, and you know that means he’s as nervous as you.

“Hi.” He shifts his weight awkwardly, hoisting his duffel bag high on his shoulder. He flits his eyes around your face and then down to your pajamas, brows lifting. “Did you just wake up?”

“I took a five-hour nap,” you sigh, letting him in.

“Did you not eat dinner?” he asks, setting his bag down in the spot by the couch that’s slowly becoming his.

“No,” you mumble, wandering into the kitchen and digging through the pantry. “Not super hungry, anyway – just hungover.”

“Oh.” His voice sounds a bit tense, and you realize belatedly that he might have been asking if you wanted to eat dinner with him. You purse your lips, groaning to yourself. Things are still uncomfortable with him – how could they not be? You’ve spent the week bouncing back and forth between being insatiably furious with him and completely folding whenever he gets too close. Even if he seems to have reciprocated some of the confusing feelings wracking your brain lately, it can’t be easy to be dragged back and forth by your mood swings.

You emerge from the kitchen holding out a packet of smores pop-tarts to him, the strawberry flavor open in your other hand. He stares down at it and then takes it, eyes on yours. “Thanks.”

“Your leftovers from Saturday are still there,” you offer, nodding back to the kitchen. “If you want them.”

“Man, you really do hate kung pao chicken,” he jokes lamely, swallowing hard as he opens the silver packaging. You wander toward your room with an awkward sigh. 

“Uhm… how many videos should we film today?” You flick your lights on and move to the closet, leaving your pop-tarts on the dresser. There’s a creak in your doorway, and you glance back to find Akaashi leaning against the door frame, his fingers tapping on the crinkly wrapper while he chews slow and drags his eyes around your room.

“Dunno… Three? Four?” He flicks his eyes to you and then away again. “Same deal as last time? Foreplay first, then sex?”

You nod, digging through your drawer full of lingerie. You look him over briefly, ignoring when he tenses under your gaze. He’s wearing baggy, light blue jeans and a form-fitting black t-shirt, tucked into his belt. You hum, plucking a simple white set from the dresser and then reaching into your closet for a pair of shorts and a baby pink graphic tee, a cute strawberry drawn on the front. You brandish the clothes at him in question.

“Girl-next-door enough?”

He nods, eyes lingering on the white lace in your left hand. “Sweet and innocent.”

You shrug jokingly. “Just like me.”

“Yeah, okay,” he snorts, shaking his head. You don’t move, and he lifts his brows at you as he’s lifting the chocolate-filled pastry to his mouth. “What?”

“Uh…” You give him an expectant look. “I have to change.”

“Oh–” He lifts off the door frame and turns in place, staring out into your living room. “Is this good?”

You roll your eyes and strip from your pajamas, tossing your shirt at the back of his head. He chokes on his snack upon contact, and you laugh while you pull the lingerie on. He clears his throat quietly.

“So… you think my research is inapplicable-”

You groan, your shoulders tensing in preparation for a fight. “Please, not now, Akaashi-”

“I’m just wondering if you meant that, or…” His voice is joking, and you know he’s just talking shit in order to fill the silence, but you’re still a little rough when you brush past him, fully dressed now.

“You know I didn’t,” you admit quietly, padding over to the spare room and hearing when he follows. “You said it yourself  – I’m not stupid enough to believe that.”

“But you said it.”

“You say a lot of things, too.” You glance at him while you fluff the pillows on the bed. “What is this? Why are you picking a fight right now?”

He shakes his head simply. “Just making conversation.”

“Well, can you make conversation about anything else-”

“Like what?” he argues. “We can talk about research, or we can talk about what positions you want me to fuck you in today-”

“Okay,” you say, flushing. And then you swallow. “What… positions are we doing?”

Any heat that had been in his eyes melts away, and he lets out a breathless laugh. “Seriously?” When you shrug, a smile crosses his lips briefly before he’s smothering it. “Which one’s your favorite?”

Your eyes go wide, and you start to fluff the pillows more aggressively now, your face burning. “They’re all fine.”

“No,” he jokes, stepping close. You’d left your phone on the dresser by the door, and he brings it with him when he approaches you. “You definitely have a favorite.” He slips the device into your awaiting hand. “Tell me.”

You square your shoulders, scrolling through your apps to dim the string lights and change the color, bathing the room in a soft, pink glow. “It’s doggy,” you say without looking at him. “But they’re all fine.”

“Doggy,” he breathes back, nodding. “Understood.”

“Whatever,” you bite, gesturing to the bed in embarrassment. “Can we–?” 

He lifts his brows with a grin, waving you toward it. “By all means.”

You sigh, climbing onto the bed and pointing toward the selfie stick you keep on the desk. “I’ll just hold the phone for this first part.” Akaashi goes to get it, and you slot the phone into it with ease. “Okay. Ready.”

He props himself up next to you, both of you leaning against the headboard. You click record and fix the zoom, centering yourself in the frame.

“Okay,” you breathe, settling for looking at him in the camera, because you don’t know if you’re brave enough to meet his eye right now. “We’re good. Uhm…” You think quickly about how this should go. “Just look at something on your phone, maybe, and then come in whenever you think you should.” He reaches for his phone on the bedside table, and you joke nervously. “Not your email, though. Nerd.”

He scoffs, shaking his head with a hint of a smile. “Dumbass.”

You smile, refocusing the camera until neither of your faces are visible. You mess with your hair, watching the ends of it flutter on the screen, and trail your hand down your chest, kneading your breasts slowly and letting out slightly performative sighs. Your fingers dance along your thighs and between your legs briefly, and you see in the frame that Akaashi’s thumb has stopped scrolling. You don’t turn to look at him, but you do smile to yourself, watching his wrist start to go limp as he watches you, distracted. 

When you slide your hands under your shirt, your fingers moving the fabric as you squeeze and touch, Akaashi slowly moves to put his phone on the table. He shifts closer, turning his body toward yours, and his hand slides across your thigh. The touch makes you shiver, his palm searing hot on your skin and his fingers kneading at the inside of your thigh appreciatively. You hear him breathe in sharply, and then he presses his chest to your shoulder and drops his head to your neck.

The feeling of his lips on your skin is more intense than it had been on Saturday. You have no idea how, but you’re impossibly more sensitive tonight, and even the breath that fans over your throat between kisses has you panting. He sets two fingers on the wrist that you have hidden under your shirt, tugging your arm away from your body and angling you so he can fill the space.

His hand disappears under your top, and a quiet moan falls past your lips – because he’s cupping your breast, his palm warmer and larger than yours. You start to tremble, your stomach flipping with anticipation and desire every time his fingers move against you. You don’t know why everything feels so different tonight than it had only four days ago, but it feels like Akaashi’s experiencing the same.

His breath is ragged in your ear, and his lips are shaking slightly on your skin, even though all he’s done is touch you. His hand moves over your body almost nervously, fingers exploring in a way that falsely reminds you of anxious inexperience.

You turn toward him. “What’s with you?” you whisper, looking him over with wide eyes. He lifts his head, and you see that his pupils are blown wide. His cheeks are flushed slightly, and his lips are parted and wet. 

“Nothing,” he says, shaking his head. And then he tugs on your shirt. “Take this off.”

You hand him the camera stick, and he makes sure to keep you in frame when you peel your shirt off and toss it to the end of the bed. You kick your shorts off, too, while you’re at it, leaving you in your matching lingerie. He hands the camera back and scoots ever closer to you, his hand sliding across your body impatiently while he presses himself to you. You let your head drop and lean your weight against the headboard, letting him explore as he pleases.

When his fingers start to dip curiously between your thighs, that nervous anticipation is firing up. You spread your legs, breathing hard as you struggle to keep everything in frame, and he wastes no time, his middle two fingers sliding over your clothed core.

“Oh-” you moan loudly, much louder than you’d expected, given that he’s barely touched you.

Akaashi notices it too, it seems, because he lifts his head to stare at you, wide-eyed. “What was that?” he breathes, and you shake your head, your lips pursed in embarrassment.

“I was faking it,” you try, despite knowing what he’d told you last time about that.

He lifts his brows, and you see that it doesn’t matter, because he doesn’t buy it. “Liar.” He touches you again, circling your clit roughly through your panties. Your eyes widen, and your lips tremble when your breath comes out. He stares down at you in wonder, watching with a growing smile as you react much more intensely than you had on Saturday. “You’re sensitive today,” he notes quietly, a little satisfied.

You don’t bother denying it, not when he can clearly see how your body is reacting to him. “So are you,” you just whisper, eyes dropping to the front of his jeans. He’s already hard. “I haven’t touched you at all.”

He shakes his head, his fingers massaging into the wet spot in your panties with purpose. “‘s not a prerequisite.”

You lift your brows at the admission. “Good to know.”

He rolls his eyes. “Not like you’re gonna do anything with that information.” He pushes your panties to the side and touches his fingers to your soaked core, and you both gasp at the feeling. He breathes hard, eyes heated as he stares down at you. “You’re not brave enough.”

“Don’t-” you hiss through gritted teeth, resisting the urge to moan when his fingers push experimentally against your entrance. “-tempt me.” You reach your free hand toward his jeans, fully intent on unzipping them and touching him, but his hand comes down on your wrist – a smack of admonishment, gentle but firm. He narrows his eyes at you when you look at him in shock.

“I’m not gonna make it that easy for you, princess.” He pulls your thigh open over his legs to free up more space for himself, and then he’s dropping his head back to your neck and nudging against your entrance more seriously.

You’re wet enough that it only takes one try for both fingers to push into you, pressed against your walls and stretching you out. 

You gasp, your head falling back and bumping against the wall. “Oh, my God-”

Akaashi’s no better, his mouth open against your throat and his breath sharp and jagged. “Oh, fuck,” he breathes, his voice distracted and stunned. “Fuck.” 

“I’m,” you start, swallowing hard when he starts to move. “I’m not gonna last long-”

He groans, curling his fingers inside you and pressing hard against that spongy spot that makes you nervous. “I want you to squirt for me,” he breathes into your ear.

Your heart jumps into your throat. “What?” you say, high-pitched and shaky. “It’s-That’s not easy-”

You’re lying. It is easy for you, scarily so. And with the length of Akaashi’s fingers – with the way he knows how to press up against that spot every single time – it’s going to be so embarrassingly easy that you’re worried you might never live it down.

“I want it,” he breathes, persistent. He sounds a little urgent, bordering on desperate. “I want you to make a mess on my fingers.”

You whine, squirming against him as he picks up speed. You feel it forming, that pressure that’s different from the normal coil in your navel. “Uhm-I-” Your breath picks up, and his palm slaps against your skin when he slams his fingers into you again. The sting of it, repeated twice more, shoves you closer and closer to that dangerous pressure. “Mm-I’m gonna-” you heave, your body trembling in his arms and your hands struggling to keep the camera straight.

“Give it to me,” he whispers, groaning when your walls start to tighten around his fingers. “Be good and give it to me.”

You black out.

You black out, and you have no idea what happens when you do. You can’t feel anything, your entire body numb and light, floating on nothing. You feel your muscles spasm sporadically with the aftershocks, but you have no idea what had happened to get you here. Your hands are limp on the bed, but you can’t bring yourself to care if the camera had captured the moment. You feel Akaashi’s fingers still inside you – still moving – but you can’t do much more than listen as he pants in your ear and whispers ‘fuck, fuck, fuck,’ against the side of your head.

When you finally come to, you realize that you’re lying in a puddle. And Akaashi is hovering over you, his face flushed and his eyes full of disbelief and a burning heat.

“‘zzat good?” you slur, your head slumping against his shoulder, and he laughs against you, shaking his head.

“Holy shit, Y/n,” he breathes, laughing harder. “That was-fuck.” He jostles you gently. “Are you… Let me get you some water,” he says, shifting you, but you groan in protest.

“Did you come?” you breathe, dazed, and peel your eyes open to look at him.

“No.” 

“Then take your pants off,” you say, plain and direct. He looks into your eyes for just another moment, gaze tracking you and analyzing your energy, but you just level a frown at him. “Do you want to come or not, Akaashi?”

His brows lift, and his eyes flick down to the soaked blanket under you. When his gaze finds yours again, that heat is back.

He stands quickly, leaving you to shake the numbness out of your bones as he strips and moves impatiently to get the tripod. He sets your phone up with practiced fingers, and you sit up, shaking your head to clear it and sliding your panties and bra off.

“God, that was intense,” you breathe with a laugh. He glances back at you, a smile tugging at his lips. 

“You sure you’re good?”

“Super good.” You nod once, and then you beckon him toward you. “Hurry up, before I start to care what you think again and get embarrassed that that just happened.”

His burst of laughter echoes off the walls, and you feel pride at having drawn it out of him.

And then he climbs over you, and everything that’s not him fades into the background.

His eyes are steady on yours, but he moves with a decided lack of control, and that – his urgency – makes you more nervous than anything else. You lie back against the pillow and spread your legs for him, watching with bated breath as he shoves his boxers off impatiently and slots himself between your thighs. He leans over you, and one of his hands clamps down over your mouth while he lines himself up at your entrance.

He takes a breath, eyes flicking to yours, and you see the anticipation in them. Like he’d been waiting for this all week.

You’d been waiting, too, you realize.

He sinks into you in one press of his hips, and your back bows off the mattress. You moan loud against his palm, your eyes rolling back, and the groan he lets out – unfiltered, desperate – embeds itself into your skin. You struggle to breathe, to find your lungs when all you can feel is Akaashi inside you.

Your eyes focus and unfocus, searching uselessly for him while he slams his other hand down on the headboard to steady himself before setting a pace that makes your vision flicker. Your hands fly up, too, pressing back against the headboard to keep you from crashing into it. 

Akaashi’s hand falls from your mouth when he realizes that you’re not making noise, and it becomes clear that you can’t. Your mouth just hangs open, breath ragged and short while you gasp. Your eyes meet his, and he grins down at you.

“How’s that, princess?” he teases, panting tightly. “Still wanna find someone else to fuck? Or am I really the only one?”

He’s taunting you, torturing you. It makes some part of you angry – the part that hates him, so distant right now – and you try to argue.

“You’re only bitching-” You gasp sharply when the head of his cock bumps against your g-spot, scarily accurate like last time. “-because you got what you wanted-”

His next breath comes in a low growl, and he angles his hips so that he can hit your weak spot more easily. Your body shakes with each slam of his hips against yours, but you hold onto a shred of your sanity.

“You talk a lot of shit for someone who’s so needy for me-”

“Look in the mirror, asshole,” you bite, using every ounce of your energy to keep this up. But he presses two fingers against the seam of your lips, shoving them into your mouth. You choke around them, and he moans, because your walls flutter tightly around his cock at the feeling of his fingertips hitting the back of your throat.

“How ‘bout you shut the fuck up and get me off,” he snaps, gritting his teeth when your tongue curls wantonly around his fingers. “Maybe if you’re good at it, I’ll let you come again.”

You whine, despite yourself, and feel that twinge of need – the one that had reared its ugly head on Saturday. The need to give him what he wants, to fold for him and do what he says.

And then it hits you–

That this is what you’d felt all week.

That the gnawing in your chest and the frustration in your bones and the disorienting need to get his attention – good or bad – is exactly this. This need to bend to Akaashi Keiji’s will, because he’s got you wrapped around his finger.

You’re filled with an overwhelming rage, and you nip your teeth against his fingers – not hard enough to hurt, but definitely enough to shock his system.

Akaashi’s eyes go wide, and he hisses and draws his fingers from your mouth, wet and dripping saliva on your skin. “What the fuck?”

“You’re doing this on purpose,” you snarl, one of your hands leaving the headboard to shove against his chest. He stops moving, sitting up on his knees and staring down at you in confusion.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

You shove him again, and he catches your wrist, his eyebrows furrowing.

“You’ve been messing with me all week on purpose,” you spit, and then you sit up, startling him. You use the moment to latch onto him and roll him onto his back, swinging your leg over his waist and straddling him. He stares up at you, wide-eyed, as you try to take control of this. “You’ve been hot and cold, and rude and flirty,” you snap, lifting your hips just enough to sink down onto him. Your breath catches in your throat, and you watch his eyes roll back briefly, a quiet moan slipping past his lips. You plant your hands on his chest, finding a rhythm in his lap that has him gripping your waist tight. You grit your teeth and talk through the waves of pleasure, the ones that start in the crown of your head and make it hard to focus.

“You teased me at the party. And then you acted like I didn’t exist at the coffee shop.” You struggle to keep your breath, your movements growing unstable. His eyes search yours, alarmed.

“What-”

“You acted like I was a burden all day on Monday, and then you fucked with my head in the stairwell.” You glare down at him, hating wide-eyed way he’s watching you. “You fought with me in my office – you liked fighting with me-” You thump your fist weakly down on his chest while you bounce in his lap, angry – but not angry enough. It’s starting to fade into something else. Frustration that he’d played you, and confusion that he looks so confused. “And then you treated me like I was the only thing you could see at that stupid fucking club last night.”

The humilation creeps in – the embarrassment that you’d let this happen. You’d let him humiliate you. It makes your eyes prickle, and you squeeze them shut angrily. Akaashi slides his fingers roughly into your hair, holding tight when you try to shove him away.

“I hate you,” you say, choked and upset and refusing to look at him.

“Listen to me-”

“I hate you-”

“Listen to me.” He fists your hair tighter, jostling your head with enough urgency that your eyes fly open to find his. He’s glaring up at you now. “I’m not doing any of this on purpose.” You’d stopped moving in his lap at some point, too overwhelmed, but he bends his knees now, angling you against his thighs. You gasp when he starts to move, thrusting his hips up and using his one-handed grip on your waist to keep you steady.

“You think I wanted this?” he barks, snapping his hips up and bouncing you roughly against him. “You think I wanted to lose face at that fucking meeting? You think I wanted to fight in the stairwell like that?” His face twists into an angry scowl, and it’s your turn to be confused. “You think I want to get drunk and be unable to keep my hands off you? Huh?”

What-

What?

Akaashi’s hand slides out of your hair, dropping to the base of your throat. His fingers wrap around your neck, and your stomach flips with desire when he squeezes tight. You sigh in relief, the feeling of his palm against your throat when you swallow heavenly. He uses his grip to pull you close, until your nose brushes his. He sets a brutal pace with his hips, fucking up into you while he stares you down angrily.

“You know better than that,” he hisses. 

You start to shake over him, your desire mounting. “I-”

“You do know better, don’t you?” he whispers, his voice dangerously even. His eyes burn with anger. “Why are you acting like that? You told me you were smart.” His voice shakes a little, and you can see him struggling to keep up – his cheeks flush and his ears burn red, and he’s starting to pant, broken in a way that makes your stomach flip.

“I am,” you whisper, a bit whiny now. “I am smart – you’re just too confusing.”

The anger in his eyes solidifies into something worse. Something cruel and wicked.

“Then stop trying so fucking hard,” he snarls, slamming his hips up into you. You dig your nails into his shoulders, his sharp inhale clear in your ears. “Stop trying to figure this out.”

You shake your head hard. “I won’t. I can’t-”

“Oh, you can’t?” He mocks, and the edge in his voice kicks and shoves you right to your orgasm. “You won’t, is that it? Even though I just told you I’m not doing this on purpose?”

You squeeze your eyes shut. The idea that Akaashi’s just as affected as you are – just as much a victim to whatever this is as you are – fills you with a terrifying feeling. A feeling close to freedom, close to something that makes you want to throw everything away and give in to him. Because it’s not his fault, either, then. Because – if he’s not doing this intentionally – then there’s no one to blame.

And if there’s no one to blame, then you’re going to stop fighting the way you feel around him.

“Look at me.”

Your eyes open without your permission. Cyan stares back.

“You think I’m doing this on purpose?” He’s breathless and frustrated, searching your face. “Look at me.” His eyes are filled with emotion – that same caution you feel, not wanting to give into this if you’re not going to give in with him. His grip tightens on your throat, and he pulls you close, whispering into the breath of space between your lips.

“You know me better than that.”

When he falls, he takes you with him. And, as much as you want to fight it – kicking and screaming – you don’t. 

You just wrap yourself around him and fall.

[mountttmase]

What I Need

Note - the longest fic I’ve ever written 😭 I’ve added a little ‘break’ halfway through so if you did want to stop and come back to read the rest later it’s easier to see where you’ve left off but if you want to read it all in one go feel free 🩷 thank you @carlottawllms for the initial request and I’m sorry it took so long to get to 😭 and thank you to all my besties for your help with this, I couldn’t do it without you 🩷 I know it’s long but feedback would be appreciated immensely and I promise to never write a fic this long again 😌

Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader

Word count - 20.5k

Warnings - angst and fluff

Just once you thought you might be treated to a well deserved lie in this Saturday but unfortunately the universe had other plans for you, just like always.

Your phone had been vibrating for a few minutes on the nightstand and you knew it was someone trying to call you before a barrage of texts were sent your way. Letting them fly in before you picked your phone up to see who it was and what they wanted even though you knew exactly who it was and why they were pestering you at this ungodly hour.

You already make it feel like it’s not worth living you thought, but before you could think about anything else his photo flashed up on your screen as he tried to call you again and you begrudgingly hit accept before you were permanently etched into his bad books.

‘Hello?’

‘About bloody time y/n, what the hell have you been doing?’ He scolded you. His voice hushed but you could tell he wanted to shout at you for not picking up and you rolled your eyes at his stupid attitude that you didn’t need this time of the morning.

‘Sleeping, Mason. You know what probably most of the uk population is doing right now since it’s stupid o’clock on a bloody Saturday’

‘Well I don’t give a shit, I need you. How fast do you think you can get here?’

‘I don’t know, Mase-‘ you started, not ready to leave the comfort of your bed just yet but he was cutting you off as soon as he realised what you were about to say.

‘No, y/n don’t do this. Did you not see my message? Code red yeah, that means I need you here now’

‘I’m sure it’s not that bad, you big girls blouse’

‘She’s offering to make me breakfast. Pancakes if you please’ he told you, his voice an octave higher as if he couldn’t believe what he was saying to you and you had to hold in a giggle at how ridiculous he sounded.

‘You love pancakes’

‘No I love your pancakes, there's a difference. I don’t know what she puts in hers she could drug me for all I know. Or make the whole wheat ones like a maniac’

‘I mean it’s hard to fuck up pancakes im sure they’re-‘

‘Can we forget about the bloody pancakes, how long till you’re here?’ He demanded, but you were already up and pulling a hoodie on before stuffing yourself into your shoes.

‘I’ll be five minutes’ you sighed, grabbing your keys and walking out the door as Mason repeatedly told you to hurry up until you had to hang up as you began to drive.

How it became the routine of you bailing him out of these situations was a long story.

Mason had been your best friend since you were little. Your dad being one of his first football coaches and even though you went to separate primary schools you still saw him most weekends when you helped out and sometimes joined in with the games. Mason teaching you how to kick the ball properly and you knew when you scored your first goal he let you win.

You eventually stopped going to practice, not seeing Mason at all for a year or so until you both wound up going to the same secondary school and it’s like you picked up where you left off.

You watched each other grow from awkward little teenagers to full grown adults and as much as you tried to keep your friendship the same you knew it would never be normal.

You went the usual route; college, uni, big office job in a fancy company while Mason lived his dreams and changed right before your eyes. Subtle changes that came over time meaning you never really caught onto them but the shy polite boy you once knew was gone.

He was cocky and sure of himself. Cheeky in a way that all the girls loved and he used it to his advantage to get exactly what he wanted. You weren’t blind, you know he was handsome but the way he threw his money and looks about just to get into some poor girls knickers made you sick sometimes but you stuck by him through it all. Feeling like you were the only person who had his best interest at heart most of the time.

Mason didn’t have friends, he had yes men. People to tell him he looked good and that it didn’t matter what he did or what he said to people because they’d clear it up for him afterwards. Leaving his picture perfect image intact so the world still thought he was a good boy even though he was anything but.

You didn’t know when, but you too had fallen into that category. Running around after him like he was a toddler that had just learned to walk, trying to protect him from crashing into things he shouldn’t be and picking up all of his mess after him for little to no thanks. You didn’t even know why you did it at this point. A sense of loyalty maybe? Or wanting to keep him away from certain people that you knew only used him. You knew he was a grown man at the end of the day and he was old enough to look after himself but still you carried on.

Even the routine of helping him kick girls out of his house was a mystery to you. The first time was a mistake when you’d turned up heartbroken on his doorstep after a failed exam and the girl he’d managed to score that night made a swift exit much to his satisfaction. Telling you he’d been trying to get rid of her for an hour but she wouldn’t budge and you were the perfect solution.

When he called you up and asked if you could do something similar for him the next week you refused at first. Thinking it was weird and you were worried about the girls feelings but he wore you down like he always did until the next thing you knew you were fake crying on his door mat as he ushered a pretty blonde girl out the door with the fake promise of calling her back later that day.

You must have helped him throw at least 30 girls out now. A catalogue of excuses at your disposal and even though you knew it was weird, it had merged itself in as just another part of your friendship and soon enough you were pulling onto his drive and housing yourself out of your car.

You rang the doorbell to make it look more realistic, the door opening a few moments later to Mason who looked more than relieved to see you and you quickly made your way inside to start the act.

‘What do you want? Dead relative, dog or something worse?’ You asked him, pinching your cheeks so they looked pinker before squirming yourself in the eyes with your water bottle. You’d tried and tested the lot but the sports cap you found was the best at making it look like actual tears.

‘Dogs fine, she’s been yapping on about hers all morning and showing me pictures so-‘

‘You’re so cruel, Mason’ you remarked, hoping to make him feel a little bit bad about what he was doing but you knew it was all in vain. He never did.

‘Just start crying before I make you, yeah?’ He laughed so you took the opportunity to get him back and wailed out the loudest fake cry you could muster right in his ear. The sound making him jump before he bounded you into his arms so you could cry into his neck and before you knew it, the sound of a very concerned but sweet sounding woman could be heard in the hallway.

‘Mason? Is everything okay?’

‘No really no’ he told her, the fake worry in his voice making you roll your eyes but you carried on sniffling to help him out. ‘This is my best friend and she’s had some awful news this morning’ he told her, walking you towards the living room so he could sit you on the sofa. ‘I’m really sorry to do this, her dogs just died and she needs me’

‘Oh my god’

‘Yeah she’s really not in a good way’ he confirmed, pulling you in closer and your cries went up in volume and you felt him pinch your side gently as if to tell you to tone it down.

‘Well can I help at all?’ She offered and you actually felt a little sorry for her. She seemed too sweet and you wondered how Mason had got his grubby little claws into her but you’d seen him on nights out and knew how he trapped women under his spell. You were just thankful that you were immune to his powers as if someone treated you like this you’d swing for them.

‘I think it’s best I just stay with her for now, but I’ll text you yeah? I’ve got your number saved?’

‘Oh, yeah okay then’ she uttered before the pair of them fled upstairs to get her things and within a few minutes he was with her at the door. Hearing the talk in hushed tones before he shut the door behind her but you let your cries continue.

‘Alright you can stop that now, sound makes my brain ache’ he groaned as she flopped down onto the sofa next to you and you laughed as you unhid your face from the cushion.

‘You’re welcome, by the way’ you told him. Bumping your shoulder into his as you sat up but he just rolled his eyes. You knew he was thankful even if he didn’t say it exactly but it would be nice to hear it sometime.

‘You fancy some breakfast? I’m in the mood for pancakes’ he winked but you just rolled your eyes at him. Pancakes sounded good to you too but you knew you’d be stuck making them.

‘Where’s Ace? He’s the only reason I’m here’ you asked, deflecting his question as you knew what he was asking and by the look he was giving you he wasn’t too happy about it.

‘Charming’ he scoffed before whistling and the sound of bounding paws made you smile until Ace was running in and jumping into your lap.

‘Hi baby’ you cooed, scratching over his head and trying to avoid the face licks he was sending your way but Mason was just looking at you like he was waiting for something.

‘So… what’s happening with the pancakes?’

‘Ace, your daddy is a very silly man, did you know that?’ You babbled but you could tell Mason was offended with what you’d said.

‘Don’t turn my son against me’

‘Do you want some pancakes, acey? Mumma will make you some’ you babbled too him, knowing there was no way for him to answer but from the look on his face you could that’s what he wanted.

‘Since when are you his mum’ Mason commented, trying to reach over to pet him but you wouldn’t let him. Jumping up so Ace could follow you and he just sighed and rolled his eyes.

‘Since I’m one of the only stable females in his life, okay? Don’t confuse him now’

You left Mason in the living room so you could make some pancakes. Your own belly rubbing as you hadn’t had a chance to think about breakfast this morning but thankfully he had everything in and as soon as he smelt them you heard him walking in to grab some.

‘Why are you making little ones?’ He questioned, grabbing some juice from the fridge and a couple of glasses.

‘They’re for ace’ you shrugged. Plating them up in his little doggy bowl and letting him tuck in before sorting yours and Masons out.

‘So he gets preferential treatment’

‘Do you ever have a day off?’ You muttered, wanting him to just give things a rest for five minutes but you could tell by his laugh he wouldn’t be letting up anytime soon.

‘Shut up, you love me’ he teased, poking you in the sides as he grabbed his plate and the feel of it angered you. He knew you hated being poked and prodded but he just carried on as he loved getting under your skin.

‘Not when you’re like this I don’t’ you sighed and even though you were half joking you had realised over the last few times you’d hung out that being around him was a chore sometimes. His usual playful comments had more venum behind them and now you couldn’t actually work out if he still liked you or not. Being around him never felt as good as it used to but whenever you got upset about it he’d tell you he was playing so you tried to think nothing more of it. Wondering if you were just hormonal or had forgotten how to take a joke.

Halfway through breakfast your thoughts were interrupted by the doorbell ringing. His eyes looking at you pleadingly as if he wanted you to go and get it but you remained firm and stared back at him.

‘Please, y/n. If it’s her she’ll have me talking for another half an hour. Just make her go away please’

‘Fine’ you huffed, getting up and storming to the door and you knew he was smiling from where he sat behind you. ‘I’m not doing the washing up though’

‘Hey, you make the mess you tidy it away’

‘Oh get lost’ you muttered under your breath, opening the door to what you expected to me the girl from earlier but thankfully it was just an Amazon delivery guy and you took the parcel with a smile before bidding him goodbye. ‘Mase? Its just an Amazon parcel you’re safe’

‘Ah amazing, can you open it for me? Should be just a charging cable’ he nodded as he stacked your plates and took them to the dishwasher, leaving you on your own to tear the box open but once you were in you wanted to vanish into thin air.

What you weren’t expecting was the red box that was sitting under the packing paper. The words thin feel jumping out at you first and you groaned loudly as he walked back over to you with a confused expression.

‘What’s wrong?’

‘You’re gross, I swear to god. Why did you make me open this?’ You huffed as you threw the box of condoms his way and he caught it with one hand before looking down with a smile.

‘Ah i forgot about these, got the ribbed ones this time to see if they make a difference’ he winked but you just made fake gagging noises as you walked out of the kitchen and back into the living room where he followed you in shortly after. Thankfully hiding the box out of sight from you.

‘What you doing next Friday? It’s Woody’s birthday so we’re going out and he asked me to ask if you wanna come’ he suddenly piped up with as you turned the tv on and the question took you by surprise.

‘Why didn’t he ask me himself?’

‘Cause he thinks you’re scary’ he winked ‘I’m kidding, he was pretty out of it last night when we made plans and he knew I’d probably see this morning’

‘So now it’s just standard that I kick the girls out your house for you? And all your friends know about it’

‘Pretty much. I’ve given you excellent reviews so if you get calls for similar from the others you can thank me later’ he teased but you weren’t in the mood to argue with him anymore. Huffing as you relaxed back into the sofa but he was soon poking your leg with his finger. ‘You coming next week or what? We’ve got a section booked so there won’t hundreds of people and you don’t know I’ll pay for you’

‘I’m not worried about paying, Mase’ you told him even though in the back of your mind you were a little bit. Mason like to go to the most expensive places and drink the most expensive things and you couldnt keep up with him half the time so the offer of him playing always settled your nerves when it was nights out like this. ‘Can I bring Olivia?’

‘Who’s Olivia?’

‘That new girl from work I was telling you about the other day? The one that’s just moved here and doesn't know anyone’ you told him before realising he probably hadn’t been listening the whole time you were talking about her before.

‘Is she hot?’

‘Mason-‘

‘Im kidding, I’m kidding, You can bring the pope for all I care’ he shrugged but you knew even if you asked him not to go near her he still would.

‘Mason I'm serious, I don’t want you anywhere near her okay? you’ll make things awkward at work and she wouldn’t touch you with with a barge pole anyway’

‘Wow y/n, I’m bruised’ he told you, hand on his heart to make it look like he was hurt but you could tell from the tone of his voice he didn’t care.

‘She’s got something going on with someone at work and if you ruin it I’ll kill you’ you threatened but he just held his hands up in mock surrender. ‘Who else is gonna be there?’

‘Oh the usual’ he told you. Reeling off some names you knew plus a few guys you don’t know and you knew what that meant. Mason wanted to try and set you up with someone he knew and even though you appreciate the sentiment you couldn’t think of anything worse.

At this point you thought he just felt sorry for you and was trying his hardest to find you anyone. You’d never had a boyfriend, never been in a real relationship or even been on that many dates. Any you did happen to go on always ended in the same way with that same awful message. I see you more as a friend than a girlfriend but I’d love to stay in touch and you didn’t know what was wrong with you. Even though Mason sometimes tried to help, you didn’t want to attract boys like him and his friends so any new boy he was suggesting you almost always never gave a proper chance.

‘I was thinking maybe I could put some feelers out? You know put a good word in with a few of the lads and see if any are interested-‘

‘I’d rather eat my own eyeballs than date one of your friends’ you told him, looking up to his horrified face and just like usual you kept poking the bear. ‘I only hang out with you cause you’re practically my brother, but the ones that choose to be your friends? I have serious questions for them’

‘And yet here you are, spending your morning with me. The main culprit’

‘Not for much longer, I’m meeting the guys at level up for lunch’ you smiled and he rolled his eyes in annoyance at you.

‘So you used me for my flour and eggs, that’s what I’m getting from this’

‘I wouldn’t even be here if you could just keep it in your pants for five seconds’ you reminded him, giving Ace a quick scratch between the ears before you stood up so you could get going but Mason being Mason had to get a few more digs in.

‘Oh whatever you big dork. Go play with your silly little puzzles then while I fend for myself’

Level Up was a gaming cafe in town and you met up with some friends from uni once a month to catch up and play some games but you mostly went there for the puzzles. There was something you loved about starting with a big pile of nothing and ending with something beautiful. It calmed you but almost made your brain feel alive at the same time so it was worth the teasing from Mason's end even if he did think it made you really uncool.

‘Whatever, Mase’ you mumbled, gathering your stuff up and making your way to the door before he could say anything else to upset you but you already felt like he’d ruined your day.

You managed to forget about him by the time you’d made it to Level Up. Catching up with your friends from uni, forgetting all that had happened that morning and getting lost in what you loved before making your way back home in the early afternoon. Feeling a lot better about yourself than you had that morning.

Your week at work flew by and soon enough it was Friday and you were at your flat with Olivia getting ready for your night out. Thankfully she’s said yes to coming and it had given you something to bond over that week. She too had moved to Manchester from down south after uni and was finding the transition a bit strange so you’d taken her under your wing in hopes you could make some more friends around here besides Mason. As much as you loved him you couldn’t stand to be around him for long periods of time anymore and wanted someone else to hang out with who didn’t make you feel so awful about yourself.

Once the pair of you were ready you set out for a cocktail bar first. Getting a few fancy pre drinks in whilst you chatted over some office gossip and just as you were leaving you posted a few stories to instagram. Seeing straight away that Mason had viewed them and almost as if by magic he was calling you.

‘Is that really what you’re wearing?’ He asked, the question making your heart drop as you looked down at your out outfit. Admittedly it was your usual but you wanted to be a bit comfortable and it was an outfit you’d always felt good in. His comments deflating you immediately and you felt like turning around and going home.

‘What’s wrong with it?’ You asked in a small voice. Wrapping your jacket around you a little bit further and Olivia looked at you with curious eyes but you just gave her a reassuring smile and carried on listening to Mason.

‘I mean it’s fine but like… well that’s it. It’s fine’ he admitted causing you to gulp back the frog in your throat so you didn’t burst into tears. ‘Look I’m trying my hardest here to help you get some but you need to start showing a bit of skin. Like if I’m interested in a girl I wanna see a bit more yeah? You need to advertise what you’ve got on offer or you’ll never get any business.’

‘I’m not looking for business and I certainly don’t want to look like someone you’re interested in’ you hit back, trying to make him hurt a little bit but you knew it was useless. Your comments were like water off a ducks back to him. ‘When I find the right guy he’ll love how I dress’

‘I’m a guy, y/n. We’re all the same’

‘Yeah well I’ve just about had enough of you tonight. I think I’d rather join a nunnery at this point’ you huffed, feeling Olivia tug on your arm as you made it to the door of the club. ‘Were just outside I’ll see you in a sec’

‘Your names on the door, they should just let you through’ he confirmed and once you’d said goodbye you were let in by the doorman who led you over to your section. meeting Mason's eyes almost immediately but his were soon on Olivia and you knew it was about to be a long night. ‘You gonna introduce me then?’

‘Hi to you too’ you quipped, watching him roll his eyes as he pulled you into his side for a quick hug but it was over before you knew it as his eyes settled on Olivia’s legs. ‘Mason this is Olivia, Olivia this is Mason’

‘Hi Olivia, y/n’s told me a lot about you’ he smiled and you knew that smile anywhere. He was about to flirt his little bum off even after you’d told him not too. ‘It's nice to finally meet you’

‘You too, thanks for letting me come’ she smiled sweetly, trying to be polite but you’d already warned her about Mason and his antics and you were hoping she could see right through him.

‘Oh you’re invited anytime’ he winked. ‘Can I get you a drink?’

‘Oh um… yeah sure, y/n-‘

‘’It’s alright I know her order off by heart’ he winked before nodding her over to the bar where she followed him after giving you a quick wave.

You took this time to go and say happy birthday to Woody, one of Mason's friends you actually liked as he’d been around almost as long as you had but just like you had fallen into the trap of letting him get away with things he probably shouldn’t.

‘What’s wrong?’ He asked, noticing your disgruntled expression fairly quickly but you just sighed before rubbing your head.

‘I explicitly told Mason not to flirt with her but he’s all over her, I can't stand that boy sometimes’ you huffed, motioning over to where he was standing with Olivia. His hand on her back and his eyes on her chest and you heard Woody sigh next to you.

‘You know what he’s like, sees a pair of boobs and forgets all logic’ he tried to joke but you weren’t in the mood.

You could see Olivia looking for you, your eyes meeting after a few seconds where she gave you the ‘help me’ look and you made your way straight over to get her. Gripping Mason's shoulder as you popped yourself in between them and even though you weren’t looking at him you could feel the annoyance radiating off of him.

‘Thanks for the drink Mase, we’re gonna go have a dance’ you interrupted, not missing the way he rolled his eyes at you as he tried to speak again but you’d already pulled Olivia away and onto the dance floor where you were both giggling as you got lost in the crowd.

‘Corr he’s a right flirt, you weren’t joking we’re you’

‘Honestly he should come with a warning label’ you groaned. ‘I’m really sorry, I did tell him to keep it in his pants’

‘Don’t worry about it, it’s quite flattering’ she giggled before wrapping an arm around your shoulders. ‘Let’s just keep it between us, by the looks of things he’s already moved on’ she told you and once you looked around you could see him chatting up some other girl and you decided to leave him to it. Rolling your eyes before you and Olivia got lost in the crowd and danced your little socks off.

When Olivia needed the loo, you let her know you’d go and get the pair of you some more drinks and once at the bar you were ambushed by the man you’d been trying to avoid for the last hour.

‘Thanks for that earlier, you jumped in at the wrong time just as usual’ Mason exclaimed but you just turned to smile at him sweetly and the action caught him off guard.

‘No thank you, for completely ignoring me when I asked you not to flirt with her as she’s seeing someone and I didn’t want to make things awkward at work’ you reminded him but you noticed how he shut his eyes before looking back at you with a smirk and you knew he was about to get nasty.

‘So let me get this straight, Olivia’s been working with you for what, three weeks?’ He commented and his comment surprised you as you didn’t think he’d been listening to you that well whenever you spoke about her but clearly he had.

‘Just about, yeah’

‘And she’s already seeing someone?’

‘I mean it’s not official but-‘

‘So she can find someone… but you’ve been there years and-‘

‘Oh get fucked Mase’ you spat, your blood boiling at what he was trying to say and you had to restrain yourself from throwing the drinks that had just been placed infront of you in his face. Mason had just put them on his tab though and you didn’t want to have to pay for your own so you just balled your fists up and tried to let it wash over you. ‘Are you getting a kick out of being an arsehole to me tonight or something?’

‘I’m just pointing out-‘

‘Well don’t, keep your big nose out of my business’ you told him, cutting him off mid sentence but you knew your comments hadn’t hurt him. Nothing ever did.

‘Low blow, y/n. Low blow. You’re lucky I’m not self conscious about it as I know it comes in handy’ he teased. Licking his lips to insinuate something sexual and you felt the disgust roll through you. ‘Come on, let’s go sit. We’ve barely spoken all night’

‘No, I don’t want to’

‘Hey, don’t be like that’ he frowned, but you were done talking to him tonight and you’d have been quite happy to have a few days' break from him after tonight’s interactions.

‘I’m not being like anything’ you huffed, seeing Olivia coming back out from the loo and you used this as your opportunity to get away from him. ‘Olivia’s back, I need to go’ you told him but you didn’t wait for a reaction. Picking up your drinks and making your way over to her but you weren’t in the mood to be happy anymore.

You found a quiet corner with Olivia so you could sit and bitch for a bit, mostly about Mason but you moved onto the topic of people you didn’t like at work until she opened up about Joe from the IT department who she’d got the eyes for. Apparently they’d hit it off from the first day when he handed her her laptop and she’d been falling for him ever since. Sometimes making up issues and submitting tickets for non-existent problems so they could talk and even though you thought it was cute and you were happy for her, Mason's words from before were playing in your mind.

Why did things like this never happen to you? Why could everyone else find someone but you were forever stuck on the sidelines waiting to be picked. You were used to it now and you told yourself you were over it but there were moments like now when it stung and you didn’t want to think about anything anymore.

If truth be told you didn’t want to even be in this club anymore and when Olivia had to make a call you used the time to your advantage to try and find Mason to let him know you were going. Not that it would have made much difference to him as you’d barely spoken all night but when you made your way back to your section you knew something was off.

‘What’s everyone laughing at?’ You asked as you approached Woody and a few of the other boys. Woody's appearing awkward but you could see all the other boys were loving whatever was happening. ‘Where’s Mason?’

‘Trust me, you don’t wanna know’ one of the guys laughed but you were just confused as to what was happening.

‘What?’ You asked, turning towards Woody in hopes he’d give you a bit more of an answer but you could tell he didn’t want to. An embarrassed and guilty look on his face as you raised your brows at him until he eventually spoke.

‘He’s um, he’s in the loo’ Woody gulped but you didn’t understand what the issue was.

‘Okay?’

‘He’s not alone in there’ he whispered and the realisation hit you like a truck.

‘You’re joking? Please tell me you’re joking’ you whispered back, eyes flying around the room to see if anyone else had caught on but thankfully it was just his little gaggle of yes men that were in on it.

‘Well he didn’t exactly hide it’ Woody told you but before you could say anything else there was movement from the corner of your eye and you could see he was emerging from the disabled loo with a stupid smirk on his face and you felt sick to your stomach.

The boys were laughing louder immediately but all you felt was embarrassment. Embarrassed that he was your friend and he thought this was okay, embarrassed for whatever poor girl he’d taken in there and embarrassed that clearly everyone knew what was going on and he was just fine with it.

You watched him talk to security before coming back over to your section. The boys slapping his back before he tried to wrap an arm around your shoulder but you just shrugged him off as soon as he touched you. Not even bothering to look up at his disgruntled face as your eyes were trained on the where he’d just come from and before long the girl emerged.

You watched her walk over to the man Mason had just spoken to, Mason clearly telling her he’d put her name in the list for your section but you doubt he even knew her name in the first place and you felt awful as she looked around for Mason to let her in. You were on the edge of marching over there yourself and telling them to let her through but you didn’t want to cause more of a scene so you just turned to Mason who was looking at you with an amused grin.

‘Seriously, Mason? I know you clearly don’t give a shit but that’s such an awful thing to do’

‘Oh stop getting your knickers in a twist, it’s not like I fucked her’ he told you matter of factly an you gasped at the way he’d just spoken to you.

‘What?’

‘I mean I’ll spare you the details but let’s just say she took very good care of me’

‘Oh fuck off, I don’t wanna know that’ you told him, wrapping your arms around yourself as if you were trying to block him out but he kept laughing at you like he found the whole thing hilarious.

‘Oh y/n don’t be such a grump’ he laughed. ‘Maybe you should think about getting yourself a bit, hopefully they might be able to pull that stick out your arse’

Mason words cut you deep, and you knew he’d only said it as he was playing on your biggest insecurity but that made it worse somehow. You’d opened up to Mason a few times about how unlucky in love you felt you were, how you never seemed to grab anyone’s attention. You knew he tried to help on nights out sometimes but nothing ever worked and you weren’t as on board with one night stands as Mason so clearly was. You were the definition of a wallflower and as much as you knew you had a lot of love to give the right person you grew more worried day by day that it would never be a reality for you.

You knew your face had dropped, Mason’s too once he’d realised what he’d said and that he’d taken it too far but you refused to show how upset you were, not just by what he’d said but everything that had happened tonight.

‘You’re a right dick sometimes’ you told him quietly, picking your bag up and storming out. You could hear the faint sound of him scoffing behind you but you didn’t have the energy to turn around and berate him anymore. Your eyes already stinging and the sadness rippled over you but you held it together so you could get out the door and sort yourself an Uber out.

You wondered if he might have followed you outside to come and apologise right away but you knew that would never happen. As long as Mason was happy in Mason land he didn’t care what he did or said to anyone else and even though you thought you might have been the exception, that clearly wasn’t the case anymore.

‘Y/n? What are you doing out here?’ You heard, Turing to see Olivia walking over to you with a concerned expression but you just blinked the tears away and gave her a half hearted smile.

‘Just getting some air’ you smiled. ‘Listen, I’m so sorry about tonight. I didn’t realise he was gonna be such an arse’ you apologised but you could see from her face it was all fine and she didn't care.

‘It’s not your fault, yeah? You’re not responsible for him’ she told you and you felt lighter at her words until she gave you a look you couldn't quite place. ‘But please don’t hate me, I’ve just been on the phone to Joe and he’s invited me over. You don’t mind if I go, do you?’ She asked and even though it stung slightly you couldn't blame her. Not when you were on your way home too now.

‘Of course not, don't be silly’ you reassured her, thinking that might be the end of it but the sympathetic smile she gave you made you feel worse somehow.

‘Are you going back in?’

‘I think I might just head home, I’ve had enough of him tonight’ you joked but she knew she could tell there was an air of truth behind it.

‘Don’t let him ruin your night, why don’t you come with me?’ She offered but you just looked back at her in confusion.

‘What? To hang out with you and Joe? I don’t think he’ll be too happy with that’

‘Oh no he’s at a party at his friends house not too far from here, there’s a load of people there and a few from work so you’ll know a load of them’ she explained and the idea of it being more than just the two of them sweetened the deal a bit.

‘I don’t know’

‘Pleeeeeeease. Don’t let that horrible boy upset you, plus I’m not done hanging out with you yet. Mason aside I’ve had fun tonight’ she pouted and you felt your resolve slipping. ‘Come on, I’ll pay for the Uber and everything’

‘Okay fine’ you laughed. Jumping into the car with her when it turned up and you were only ten minutes into being there once you realised what a good choice you’d made. You never hung out with your colleagues outside of work but you had a lot of fun and even made some new friends. The whole experience teaching you that there was more to life than Mason and you made a promise to yourself to take a step back from him for your own sake.

You made it home at around 3am in a taxi with a friend of Joes who’d promised to get you home safely. You’d been talking for most of the night and it was a complete 180 from being with Mason. He made you feel important and heard and when he kissed you cheek at your front door you felt your knees wobble. You blamed it on the drink and being so touch starved but once your were inside you realised how much of a good time you’d had without Mason once more.

The constant fear of what he was going to say or do next, the need to clean up his mess that inevitably always came and the growing embarrassment that came from being around him was getting you down. All you could think about was a break from him and If truth be told you needed a break from everything at this point so made a mental note to book some time off of work for a little break now the weather was getting nicer to go and see your auntie in Spain as a little something to look forward too.

You’d seen Mason had text you a few hours ago. Wondering where you’d gone and to text him back but you left it. Not wanting to talk to him right now so you got undressed and got into bed so you could wait for the inevitable hangover in the morning.

It was 8am when you woke up and knew your phone was going off every few minutes but you ignored it, not in the mood for whoever it was and when you hadn’t received a text for a while you had a quick Look I see they were all from Mason.

You didn’t believe his empty threats, ignoring everything he’d written and rolling over onto your other side so you could get back to sleep and thankfully it came easily as you were still so exhausted. He could work things out for himself for one morning surely?

You were expecting your head to be pounding when you next woke up, but you’d never felt it like this before. Never heard it in your ears so intensely or heard your name being called over and over until you realised it wasn’t what you thought and when you recognised Mason's voice you groaned into your pillow.

‘Y/n! Are you in there?’ You heard him call. Hoping you could just ignore him and he’d go away but Mason being Mason didn’t let up. ‘Right I’ve not heard or seen you since last night, I don’t know where you are or what you’re doing so I’m calling the police’

‘Oh fuck off’ you huffed, storming out of bed in just your underwear and a tiny T-shirt so you could tell him off, watching Masons head snap up when you opened the door and you didn’t miss the way his eyes trailed all over you.

‘What the fuck are you doing?’ You spat, pulling him inside and slamming the door shut before turning to face him with a furious glare. He was looking straight back at you the same way though and you’d never seen him so mad in all the years you’d known him.

‘Are you kidding me? What the fuck are you doing? Why are you ignoring me?’

‘Are you being serious right now?

‘Completely. And can you go and get dressed you freaking me out’ he remarked but you just placed your hands on your hips and made him look at you.

‘No I can’t’ you told him and you knew he wasn't comfortable with you standing there in next to nothing so you used it to your advantage. ‘You were awful to me last night Mason, I mean you’ve not been nice for a while but last night tipped me over the edge’

‘What did I do?’

‘What didn’t you do!’ You exploded, seeing him visibly jump as he wasn’t expecting it but you just kept going, releasing all the pent up aggression and anger he’d made you feel lately and you could feel the tears stinging behind your eyes. ‘You’re so rude about me, about the way I dress and just how I am. I told you specifically not to go near Olivia and you did. Not to mention that poor girl you used in the toilet, I take it she wasn’t the same girl you took home last?’

‘Well no but-‘

‘I just, I don’t like what you’re turning into and I’m not gonna sit by and watch it happen anymore so if you still want me around you need to fix up and fix up fast’

‘You can’t tell me what to do’ he scoffed, the playfulness he usually spoke at you with now completely vanished and you had a feeling deep in your tummy that this wasn’t going to end well yet you carried on.

‘Well if you carry on like this then I’m out Mason. I don’t wanna surround myself with you and the people you hang out with anymore’

‘Oh you thought… oh that’s hilarious’ he laughed, clutching his tummy like you’d just told him the funniest joke in the world. ‘You actually think I care if you don't wanna talk to me anymore? That I’d care if I upset you? You really think telling me that is gonna make me change? Get real y/n, we’re not 13 anymore’

‘What?’ you breathed, his words feeling like a punch in the gut as he stared down at you and as much as you were trying to be the bigger person in this and make him see how awful he was being, you felt awfully small.

‘Well let’s face it, it’s not like we’re even from the same universe at this point and everything I do you take the wrong way’ he told you and you could feel yourself shrinking as he turned the tables. Bracing yourself to feel his full wrath as you knew he didn’t like being told off ‘You’re so uptight, y/n and is it any wonder why?’

‘You don’t have to get so personal all the time’

‘But you’re allowed to? You’re allowed to have a go at me cause I fuck around a bit and actually enjoy my life rather than play kids games and and make out I’m holier than thou? Just cause no one’s ever found you attractive doesn’t mean anyone else isn’t allowed any fun’

You never thought he could be this mean. His words from last night paled into comparison from what he was saying now and you unconsciously wrapped your arms around yourself as he tore you to shreds.

‘You know I tried to be a good friend, I tried my hardest to find you someone but you throw it back in my face everytime. Not that I think it would have mattered anyway cause they all tell me you’re too stuck up for your own good. No ones ever gonna want you y/n, cause you make it fucking impossible’

‘I've never been good enough for you have I?’ You whispered, watching the muscle in his jaw flex as a single tear rolled down your cheek, but his face remained hard as you tried to let him know how you felt no matter how heartbroken you were. ‘You know I always thought it was a bit of fun and teasing, you calling me a nerd or whatever but actually don’t like me, do you? But I’m good enough when you need me, I’m good enough to come over and kick out whatever girl you need kicking out. Good enough to cook for you and get you everything you need’ ’

‘Oh fuck off, y/n’ he spat, looking away from you and trying to make his way to the door. ‘You think I need you that much? Have a laugh, I only kept you around cause you came in handy sometimes’ he laughed, trying his hardest to hurt you and even though it was working you could see in his eyes he didn’t mean it. ‘People leave me all the time, why should I give a shit if you do too?’

‘Mase-‘

‘Nah it’s fine, I’ll go. Sorry for giving a shit about you, I know not to do that again. Don’t worry I won’t be back’

You knew exactly what he was doing. He was being defensive because you were upset with him and he wanted to make you feel bad too. You knew he could be mean but never like this and when he slammed your door in your face you stood there for a few moments just taking it all in. Replaying all the awful things he’d said to you before walking like a zombie back to bed and hiding under the covers so you could let a few tears out but not many came. Too in shock at hurt about what he’d said to form any real emotions but as the days went on you felt worse and worse about yourself.

Three weeks went by and you didn’t hear a peep from him. Wondering if maybe you should message him first but after a day you realised he was the one that messed up and you didn’t want to be running after him. He’d completely disappeared from online and you’d even had a cheeky look on some of his update accounts to see if he’d been spotted anywhere but it was just the usual training pictures and nothing more.

It was difficult, getting angrier as the days went by before sadness took its place. He was your best friend and had been for years but you hated everything he’d become and you weren't about to push your boundaries to accommodate him anymore. Not after all the awful things he’d said to you either that wouldn’t stop plaguing your mind.

You’d never felt as ugly as you did right now. His words had hit home as it was things you’d always thought about yourself but to hear them actually vocalised from the person who you thought you meant a lot to stung in a way nothing else ever had. Realising maybe you would be on your own for a long time as there clearly was something wrong with you and as the days passed the harder you cried.

Cried for the friendship you once had, cried for the words he’d spat in your face and cried for how awful you felt about yourself and how lonely you were night after night as you rarely spoke to anyone in fear of your emotions taking over now.

You tried to let it go, carrying on as normal but you could tell Olivia knew something was up. Letting you know she was there for you when you needed but for now you just wanted to wallow a little.

You were sat at home getting lost in a new true crime documentary when you felt your phone ring. Glancing down to see Mason's picture filling up your screen and you instantly froze. Too panicked to answer as you didn’t know what you’d say to him right now so you just stared down at the screen until the call ended. Anxious to see if he would call you back at all but he didn’t and you presumed it was a mistake until the next day when a text came through from him on your lunch break.

What did he want?

You presumed it was to apologise but at this point you didn’t want to hear it. He’d done and said enough and you were still getting over most of it so to have him back in your life seemed counter intuitive.

So you left him on read and forgot about him. Spending your lunch break with Olivia and Joe but by the time you were back at your desk he was all you could think about. His text had left a weird feeling in your tummy and you felt a little bad about knowing he wanted to presumably apologise but you wouldn't let him but what you’d said was true. You really weren’t ready just yet.

Sandra was a person you considered your work mum. A slightly older woman who worked on reception and was the smiling face that always greeted you every morning but she was also the woman you went to for advice and to have a moan to. She’s never judged you or told you what to do but it was nice getting an opinion from someone so wise so knowing you were going to see her filled you with a calmness you hadn’t felt in a while.

‘They’ve not got your favourite left, but I got you a kitkat’ you smiled as you approached the reception desk, noticing Sandra was looking back at you with an awkward smile that confused you until you looked to your left and were met with the brown eyed boy you’d been avoiding. ‘Mason? How did you even get in here?’

‘I let him in’ Sandra smiled, looking over at Mason with a wink and you could see him send her an appreciative smile as he made his way closer to you. Only then clicking the giant bunch of pink and white tulips in his arms and your chest felt tight at the sight of them.

‘You shouldn’t have done that’ you told her lowly, hoping he wouldn’t be able to hear but Sandra had other ideas and brought him into the conversation.

‘Oh come on y/n, how can you say no to that face’ she pouted, tilting her head over to him and once you looked back at Mason his usual cheeky smile adorned his lips as he playfully batted his eyelashes at you. ‘You need to talk to him anyway’

‘No I don’t, what’s he told you?’ you argued back. You purposefully hadn't told Sandra anything about what was going on with Mason as you were embarrassed and wanted to deal with it on your own but you should have known she’d find out eventually. Mothers always do.

‘That you won’t talk to him and that he wants to tell you how sorry he is’

‘Well he can tell me that himself’ you huffed, crossing your arms over your chest before you heard him not so subtly coughing. Looking up to find him glancing between the pair of you like he was reminding you he was still there.

‘I would if you gave me a chance’ he laughed before shyly nodding over to the sofa where guests usually waited. Silently asking you to come with him so you could talk a bit more privately and you reluctantly walked over after a beat. Watching Mason pluck a flower from the bouquet in his arms to give to Sandra as a thank you and you almost cracked a smile at how she blushed when she took it. The pair of them whispering a little before he turned to face you and he walked over like a naughty school boy.

‘Do we have to do this now?’ You asked. Not wanting to have this conversation with him here and now but since you’d been avoiding him you hadn’t given him many other options and you could tell from the way he was looking at you he was determined to speak with you.

‘Yes, we do. You’re ignoring me and left me no choice’

‘Can you just be quick?’ You asked, not wanting to air your dirty laundry in the reception where Sandra could quite easily hear everything and even though you felt bad he’d put the effort in to come and see you, you were practically turning him away.

‘Y/n-

‘Please, Mase. I’m at work’

‘Fine, I’ll go’ he huffed and the heartbroken look on his face made your tummy churn. ‘Only if you agree I can come over later and apologise properly’ he told you but you didn’t agree straight away and you could see he was getting desperate. ‘Y/n please’

‘Okay fine’ you sighed, nodding your head as you knew it would have to be done sooner or later and since he was making the effort you thought you should cut him some slack. His face softened immediately before his eyes fell to the flowers in his hands that he passed to you in with a shy smile

‘These are for you, your favourite’

‘Thank you’ you whispered, taking them carefully and you knew your face was turning red as you held them to your chest. This was the first bunch of flowers anyone had ever bought you and you could feel your eyes welling up at the fact he’d remembered your favourite ones.

‘Well it’s the least you deserve’ he nodded but you didn’t know what to say to him, standing there awkwardly until he coughed. ‘What time will you be home?’

‘Around six’

‘Okay well, maybe I could bring us some food over and we’ll talk’

‘Okay’ you whispered, nodding gently before looking down as you were so overwhelmed with emotions.

He didn’t say anything after that, just touched your arm and planted a quick kiss on your forehead before walking back over to Sandra so he could sign out of the visors book. His action confused you as he never showed you signs of affection aside from the occasional hug so the kiss only made you blush even more. Giving yourself a few seconds to calm down before eventually joining them at the desk.

‘Leaving so soon? Sandra pouted as Mason approached her and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at the way she was so clearly wrapped around his finger already.

‘Yeah, this one wants me gone’ he teased, signing his name in the box but Sandra just threw you a disappointed look and you felt awful instantly.

‘Oh y/n’ she tutted before looking back at Mason with doe eyes. ‘If it were up to me I’d let you stay’

‘And that’s why you're my number one girl’ he told her. Flashing her his killer smile and sending her wink before turning back to you. ‘I’ll see you later, okay?’

You didn’t answer, just nodded before he left with a sad smile and as soon as he was out the door you felt Sandra’s eyes burning holes into the side of your head.

‘I tell you what, if I was 30 years younger that boy would be in serious trouble’ she told you, fanning herself with a sheet of paper from her notebook and you felt your resolve crack instantly.

‘God sake Sandra’ you laughed. It was clear that Mason was a hit with the ladies but you didn’t know he’d have this hold over someone like Sandra.

‘What’s he done? Is it really that bad or are you just making him sweat?’ She asked casually, the need to spill your guts to her was as overwhelming as ever but something was telling you to keep it under wraps until things with him were sorted so you didn’t say anything you might regret.

‘He’s not been the best for a while but we had a massive argument a few weeks back after he pushed everything a bit too far so we’ve not spoken in a while’

‘I’d just kiss and make up if I were you, he’s too pretty to be mad at’ she teased and you knew you were blushing again. This time out of sheer awkwardness.

‘It’s not like that, Sandra. He’s my best friend, nothing more, okay? No kissing or whatever else you think might be going on’

‘I’m not sure about that’ she mused ‘He doesn’t look at you like a friend’

‘That’s cause he’s trying to get on my good side probably’

‘Hmmm, we’ll see’ she winked but you didn’t want to listen anymore. Quickly making your way back to your desk so she couldn’t try and marry you off to your best friend but you could feel everyone’s eyes on you as you walked through with your flowers. Even Olivia sent you a curious look but you motioned that you’d text her later to explain.

You couldn’t focus for the rest of the afternoon. Mason's flowers that were sitting on your desk were a constant reminder that you’d have to see him later and you weren’t sure if you were ready to forgive him yet, if ever. Everything he’d said to you and the way he’d made you feel was still fresh in your mind and you knew they would take a while to recover from.

You were sick and tired of forgiving him for the cycle to start over again but you couldn’t deny you missed him. Yes things had gotten way out of control but you missed your movie nights and catch ups. You even missed making breakfast together after you’d kicked another girl out for him but you knew it all had to stop. He was a man now and able to look after himself and that’s what you wanted to tell him.

You weren’t expecting him to be on time, he never usually was, but at quarter past six there was a knock on your door. He was earlier than you thought he’d be and when you answered he stood there looking as guilty as ever with a few pizza boxes in his hands and you sent him a small smile before nodding him in.

‘Come in, you whispered, walking him into your living room so he could set the pizza down on the coffee table and take a seat but the only choice you had was to sit next to him as you could only fit a small sofa in here. Your flat wasn’t the biggest in the world and Mason always told you he’d pay for you to live somewhere nicer but it was time like these you were glad he didn’t. Not knowing what might happen if things went up in smoke.

‘Can I talk first? I’ve just been thinking about what I wanna say for days and I don’t wanna mess it up’ he asked you but you just nodded. Not sure what you wanted to say yourself yet so you figured you’d sit and listen to what he wanted to say first.

‘That’s fine’ you whispered, watching him get settled in his seat before launching into his monologue.

‘Okay well, I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for everything’ he gulped ‘I know I’ve been the biggest dick and I’ve hurt you but I really am sorry and I’m gonna prove it to you if you’ll let me’ he confirmed and you felt his words swimming through your veins. Never once had you heard him like before let alone hear the words I’m sorry come out of his mouth and look like he meant it.

‘Last time I saw you, when I went off on one, I was just hurt that you’d called me out and I wanted to get you back for it. I know that’s childish and stupid but you hit home with everything you said and I couldn’t take it’ he told you. Clasping his hands together as some form of distraction as he spoke and you knew he was trying his best to hold it together.

‘You’ve always been there for me, you know? You’ve always done things for me that you shouldn’t have and you’ve stuck up for me when you didn’t need to but I’ve surrounded myself with the complete wrong people who don’t care about me. They’re looking for a good time and never tell me no so I thought it was great, but not having you around has just made me realise they’re not the sort of people I need in my life, yeah? You’re what I need’

His strangled voice was pulling at your heartstrings but no matter what he was saying you didn’t want to jump right in and accept his apology. There was so much you wanted to say and that you needed him to know about how he’d treated you. You could see he was sorry and it was evident that he was hurt but if you didn’t want to let him off easy, you wanted him to understand exactly how you were feeling and leave nothing unsaid so you could move away from it and hopefully move on.

‘Please say something’ he gulped, wanting to hear something from you straight away but you knew as soon as you started you wouldn't be able to stop.

‘Thank you for apologising, it really does mean a lot to me that you came here but i'm really hurt Mase and I’m not really sure what to say’ you told him. Your voice sounding thick no matter how hard you tried to hold the tears in and you watched the heartbreak on his face as he saw you get upset.

‘It just sucked, I guess. To feel like you only ever called me when you needed me, like to get rid of someone or if I fit into your plans. Just felt like you didn’t give a damn about me ever. I’ve never said anything or judged you about the way you acted, not until recently at least, cause we’re friends but maybe I should have. Like just told you no a couple of times but I just felt so small to you and that it wouldn’t make a difference’

You could tell he wanted to speak, to let you know that it was all untrue and that he cared about you more than anything but he didn’t butt in. He let you speak and gave you your time to get everything out you needed to and it was more therapeutic than you thought it would be.

‘You know I remember the last time I knew I couldn’t count on you anymore. It was my last year at uni and I had an evening class so I could present my final project but all the trains were messed up and I had to walk there in the end through the rain’ you sniffed and when you looked at him you knew he knew what night you were talking about. ‘It took me just under an hour and I was late in the end so I got docked points and had to make it up with some extra credit but I called you. I called you and you said you were sorry but you were stuck in an important meeting and you couldn’t get out of it’ you hiccuped and it’s like he didn’t want to hear any more. His hands covering his eyes as he shook his head from side to side but you kept going. ‘But then when I got home and I just wanted someone to talk to and rant to there were pictures of you plastered online with some random girl in your lap and I knew you’d lied to me’

‘I’m sorry’ he blubbed, looking up at you with red eyes and a wobbly bottom lip but even that didn’t stop you from carrying on. The words pouring out from your mouth like a waterfall as years of hurt made their way to the surface.

‘You made me feel so worthless when I’ve stuck around since day dot. You always spout about his family is everything to you but I thought that included me? And I felt like I never meant a thing’

‘You did- you do. You mean everything to me I swear. Please please don’t say that it kills me’ he sobbed before finally reaching for you. Pulling you into his body and you let yourself hide in his neck as the tears fell from your eyes. ‘I was a dick for no reason and you’re the last person I should have taken anything out on. You’re right, I was disgusting and I didn’t care about anyone else and you were the first person I actually cared about who told me no and I couldn't take it’

‘You really hurt me’

‘I know I did and I can't tell you how sorry I am’ he cried. ‘I know I’m not easy to be around or easy to keep up with but you’ve always been there and I took you for granted. I honestly didn’t see what I was doing wrong cause no one ever told me, like everyone just let me do what I wanted but I get it now, I really do. I was just so caught up in having a good time and not thinking about the consequences so I took things too far. I know I’m probably out of second chances but I need to ask again cause I can’t lose you’

Your silence was deafening for him and you knew he wanted some sort of answer from you. Eventually sitting up and making you look at him and even though he looked panicked his voice was calm as he carried on speaking.

‘I’m a fuck up okay? I know I am and I know the last thing you probably want or need is me coming back into your life to cause you more stress again but this massive fuck up has misssd you so so much’

You couldn’t stop the little chuckle that fell from your lips. The sound making him smile too before he took your hands in his.

‘I’m sorry for embarrassing you, I’m sorry for all the lies I’ve told and all the horrible shit I’ve said about you and I’m sorry for the constant 8am wakeup calls on a Saturday cause I can’t control myself. I know how to behave and I know what I need to do so I’ll just do it yeah? No more calling you up to kick girls out for me cause they won’t be there in the first place. You need me and I’ll do whatever I can to get there for you and do exactly what you do for me everyday. These few weeks without you have been awful and I’m sorry it took us getting to this point to make me see but I’d rather get rid of everyone in my circle if it meant I got to keep you’ he confirmed as he squeezed your hands a bit tighter. ‘What do you say, huh? Do you think we could work something out?’

‘I mean, you’re right. It probably is the last thing I need’ you started, watching his head sink as his eyes fell to his lap but you just considered it a tiny bit of payback for now. ‘But I can’t lie and say that I haven’t missed you too,’ you told him. Voice wobbling at the end as your emotions took over and you could see he was also finding it hard to take. ‘But I miss the old Mason, I miss my friend’

‘I’m still here I promise. Just give me a chance and I’ll show you I’m still in here’

‘Please don’t make me regret it’ you whispered but you didn’t have a chance to say anything else. Mason bundling you into his arms and the feeling of his arms around you settled you more than anything else had and when he pulled back to smile at you, you felt your heart flutter in your chest. ‘Just because you’ve apologised doesn’t mean things can go back to the way they were. I might need some time’

‘I know, I don’t want that either. I’m gonna prove to you how much I’ve changed and we’ll go at your pace. I just needed to apologise and that’s whether you accepted it or not, but I really would love it if you did’

‘I do’ you told him, your face crumpling once again but he was quick to wrap you up and comfort you once again.

Over the next few weeks he was an angel, giving you the space you needed but also checking in when he could. Things felt normal but so different at the same time and the relief of having your friend back was overwhelming. It was two weeks later when you next saw him in person though, Mason messaging you early Friday evening to see what you were up to the next day but you weren’t expecting his response.

The fact he was offering to drive was tempting. You hated lugging heavy bags on the train and the fact the prospect of food was involved was even more appealing but you hadn’t hung out like this in a long time even before your big fight. Mostly because he was always busy but also because you’d just silently grown apart in that way. Mason liked getting his own way and him doing things for other people didn’t fall into that category.

You had a lot to do and the last thing you needed was him getting bored and rushing you round before spending an afternoon with him trying to annoy you. You knew it was mean but you wanted to put him off a little bit so you could shop in peace but you didn’t want him to think you were still mad at him and didn’t want to hang out.

His message made your heart sink. He really was trying and you knew he wanted more opportunities to prove himself but before you could think about it anymore he was messaging you again to try and convince you even more and you couldn’t deny him this time.

When 9 rolled around the next morning he was there. Standing by his car as he opened the door for you after a quick hug and you promised yourself you’d try and be positive about today and give him a chance to prove himself if that’s what he really wanted.

‘You eaten?’ He asked as you got bucked in, knowing how hungry you got in the mornings but you always prioritised sleep over eating. You had a little bit of extra time today though so you nodded your head at him but didn’t miss how his face dropped slightly.

‘I had some toast’

‘Oh okay, I um… I picked you up one of those juices you like and a pastry but if you don’t want it that’s fine’ he mumbled, looking slightly embarrassed and you felt your heart race at how thoughtful he’d been.

‘Oh… oh no I’ll have it. You know what I’m like, always starving’ you laughed, accepting the little bag and juice he’d picked you up with a smile and you could see how shy he looked. An expression he didn’t usually wear and his soft smile made your heart flutter in your chest. ‘Thank you, Mase’

‘It’s okay’ he whispered, starting the car so he could look away from you and even though the drive was fairly silent with just the low sound of his music playing, you didn’t feel awkward.

‘You coming then?’ You asked as he finished parking, watching his smile light up his face knowing you weren’t going to leave him to sit in the car on his own before he nodded enthusiastically at you.

‘So this trip, is it the usual?’ He asked as you made your way into the main shopping centre and you knew he was referring to where you were going as you visited your auntie in Spain every year.

‘Yeah, it’s just for a few days this time but I really need the break’ you explained and he nodded at you knowingly.

You went to Boots first, Mason holding the basket for you as he followed behind and you filled it with everything you needed. You were about halfway round the shop when you realised something was different, Mason not questioning why you needed everything you put in the basket or making stupid jokes. If anything he was more than helpful, reaching the higher shelves for you and manoeuvring you around the busy aisles by your waist as he knew you hated the crowds.

When it came time to pay, he scanned everything for you while you packed the bag and when you were done he picked it up without any questions so you didn’t have to carry it.

Next on your list was clothes. Wanting to try a few different things on to your usual so you could mix it up a bit and when you had an armful of things to try you turned to Mason with a smile.

‘Will you come into the changing room with me?’

‘What?’ He choked, his eyes going wide immediately as the question sunk in but you just rolled your eyes as you tugged on his wrist.

‘Yeah I need your opinion and I can’t be bothered to keep walking out here every time. I’ll go to one of the family ones so my arse isn’t shoved in your face, don't worry’ you laughed, pushing him inside with you so he didn’t have a choice but you could see the awkwardness on his face. Eventually shifting his eyes to the floor until you bundled him into a cubicle and made him sit on the seat in the corner.

‘I um… what do I-i um’ he mumbled as he set the bags down and you couldn’t help but giggle at his awkwardness. A side of him you hadn’t seen in a while.

‘Oh come on, it’s not like you’ve never seen me in my underwear before’ you laughed thinking back to when you were growing up and to even more recent times like when he showed up at your door and on nights out when he had to put you to bed after one too many but you could see he wasn’t feeling a bit strange so you hung the dresses up on the rail and smiled at him reassuringly. ‘Shut your eyes until I tell you to open them, yeah?’

‘Okay’ he whispered. Shutting his eyes and covering them with his hands as you turned away and picked up the first dress.

It was nothing like you usually wore. Tight and short with a fully cut out back meaning you had to quickly take your bra off to try it on and the thought of wearing it outside these four walls terrified you but you were determined to push yourself out of your comfort zone.

‘You can open them now, what do you think?’ You asked him, watching his eyes adjust to the light for a second before an unreadable emotion took over his face.

‘Oh it’s um… it’s different’ he told you and you couldn't tell if he liked it or not.

‘Well I’ve been thinking about what you said and even though I was pissed at the time and you could have probably worded it nicer I think you were right’ you told him, hands brushing over the short skirt and even though you felt different in it you didn’t feel too uncomfortable. ‘I need to show a bit more skin, you know?’

‘Wait-‘

‘What do boys like more? Bum or boobs? Like what do I need to-‘

‘Wait, stop’ he interrupted, the tone of his voice making you stop in your tracks and turn to him and when he held his hand out to you, you took it carefully. Letting him pull you in between your legs slowly so he could talk to you better but when you felt his fingertips on the backs of your bare thighs your legs turned to jelly.

You didn’t know what it was, that weird feeling pulsating through you at just a simple touch from Mason of all people and the sensation made it feel like you couldn’t get your breath out properly. In the end you had to rest your hands on his chest so you didn’t crumple to the floor and it was like the atmosphere changed within a heartbeat.

His big brown eyes looked dark as he peered up at you through his lashes, the bridge of his nose a deep red and his pouty lips had parted slightly as he tried to control his breathing but it’s like you blinked and the moment was gone. His eyes moving to look at your shoulder now and you moved your hands away from his chest to cross them over your body.

‘Sit down, yeah?’ He whispered, nodding his head to his leg and you sat on his thigh as he caged you in his arms. His face serious as you wondered what he might be about to say to you and you could feel your cheeks getting warm as he looked at you in a way he never had before. ‘You don’t… you don’t need to change the way you look or dress, okay? I was a dick and I shouldn’t have said all that before. It was crap of me and it wasn’t true anyway’

‘But-‘

‘But nothing’ he whispered, cutting you off and you felt your eyes sting as he smiled sweetly at you. ‘You deserve the world, you know that? And you deserve a man who doesn’t care about how much skin you’ve got on show or what your body looks like in what you’ve got on. You want a man who cares about what’s going on in here’ he whispered, tapping your temple lightly before doing the same to the top of your chest. ‘And in here. And yeah it might be a wait but you’ll get there. You don’t have to sell yourself short to dickheads like me who don’t have what you need, okay?’

‘It just gets hard sometimes’ you sniffed, his words hitting you deep in your tummy and you couldn’t stop the tears spilling from your eyes before you felt him pulling you into his body for a cuddle. Your head nestled into his neck as you held onto him for dear life but the feel of his hand stroking up and down your back bare soothed you ever so slightly.

‘I know it does’

‘What’s wrong with me?’ You hiccuped, barely able to hold yourself together at this point but his gentle touches really were helping. You felt safe with him for the first time in a long time and you knew you could tell him anything and it wouldn’t matter. He’d listen and reassure you like best friends are supposed to.

‘Nothing, I promise. Absolutely nothing, you’re perfect okay’ he told you. Speaking the words directly into ear and he sounded so determined and sure of himself that the sound made you shiver. ‘You’re too perfect, maybe that’s the problem. It's dicks like me that have got something wrong with us yeah’ he laughed and you let out a little chuckle before pulling back so you could wipe your eyes. ‘Does everything you picked out look like that?’

‘Yeah’ you laughed, smiling as he caught the tears you missed.

‘Okay well let me go and look for you, I saw a few bits that are more you but just a bit different. You can try those on and see what you think, yeah?’

‘Okay’ you sniffed, not sure about this idea but you were willing to entertain him at this point and when he came back with a few bits you were actually surprised at how much you loved them. Still your style but just a little different and you couldn’t help but give Mason a massive hug at the end.

Once you’d paid, Mason offered to take all the bags back to the car whilst you popped into Primark for underwear and socks and once you were done you met him outside. Your tummy grumbling as it approached lunchtime and he let you pick wherever you wanted to go but you settled on Nando’s as you knew that’s secretly what he wanted and since he’d been good to you that morning you figured you’d be good to him.

You were back at his just after one, leaving your bags in the car but you noticed he’d taken in a white paper bag that you hadn’t seen him with all day and after the pair of you got yourselves a drink and settled on the sofa, he turned to you with a shy smile.

‘Hey, so I got you something’ he told you nervously, producing the white paper bag from earlier from the side of the sofa and you took it from him with a confused grin.

You didn’t ask what it was, just reached in to grab hold of the box and when you finally pulled it out you almost lost your breath. The brightly coloured picture of the northern lights making you smile immediately before you looked up to his nervous face.

‘I wanted to get you one we could maybe do together? I know it’s probably not as big or complicated as you’re used to but I thought we could start me off easy’ he laughed but you were too overcome with emotion to think of anything to say. Never in a million years did you think he’d want to do a puzzle with you let alone buy you one with a picture of the place you’d always wanted to visit the most on it.

‘Can we do it now?’ You asked excitedly. Knowing you had the whole afternoon together to finish it and when his face mirrored yours you felt like jumping up and down.

‘Of course’ he grinned. ‘I’ll clear the coffee table and we can do it there if that’s alright?’

‘That's perfect’ you nodded, hugging the box to your chest as you stood up before touching his arm gently so he’d look at you. ‘Do you mind if I borrow something to wear? I like to be comfy when I’m getting my puzzle on’ you laughed but he just smiled before motioning to follow you to his room. Picking you out a few things to choose from and you settled on a pair of his grey shorts and an oversized T-shirt of his before taking a hoodie down with you just in case you got cold.

Mason got changed too just after you before running into the kitchen to get you both some snacks and drinks whilst you cleared the table and soon enough you were tipping the contense of the box onto the table so you could get started.

‘Right what do we do?’ Mason questioned, the large pile of tiny pieces daunting him quite clearly but you just giggled as you took a seat opposite him.

‘Well I’ll tell you how I do it, so we need to find the corner pieces first, then the edges then we’ll sort the leftovers out by colour and go from there. That sound good?’

‘Okay’ he nodded and you gave him the task of the corners and edges whilst you organised the rest. Only realising then how much of a difficult one this one might be. He was right in saying it was less pieces than you were used to but the picture was complicated and once he’d got all his pieces sorted he looked at you with a confused smile.

‘You realise this is gonna be difficult? And we could be here for a while’ You told him, watching him gulp nervously before looking back at all the pieces.

‘Really? But it’s only 500 pieces. The ones you do are thousands’

‘Yeah but the picture here is complicated, it's just all random colours like there’s no buildings or anything to work from’

‘Oh, shit sorry’ he laughed before shrugging at you. ‘I just know you’ve always wanted to go so I thought you’d like it’

‘No don’t be sorry, I do like it. Love it, in fact. I just don’t want you to get bored or frustrated with it if it takes a while’

‘No it’s okay, I can do it’ he told you. The same determined look you’d seen in his eyes countless times before important games and finals and it made you smile that he was applying the same fight for this.

You let him put some background music on as you worked away. Talking lightly about some plans you both had coming up but it was difficult for Mason to multitask. You could see he was trying his best and had done a lot of work in one of the corners but he couldn’t puzzle and talk like you could and you thought his concentrated face was cute. Often finding yourself just watching him for a few moments until he caught you and sent you a lopsided smile as he blushed.

You ordered food in when the time came. Taking a small break so you could reevaluate how much you’d done before jumping back in and it was approaching 9pm when you finally finished. Mason giving you the last piece to place in as he knew it was your favourite bit before you cheered and wrapped your arms around his shoulders.

‘Not bad for something dorks do, huh?’ You giggled but it was like he was frozen. His gaze all over your face before a look of guilt washed over his.

‘You know I never thought you were a dork’ he gulped, wrapping his arms around you tighter and pulling you further into his lap.

‘Mase it’s fine-‘

‘No, cause it’s not’ he shrugged. ‘I never meant it in a malicious way but even playing it’s still not nice so I’m sorry’

‘Thank you’ whispered and after he gave you a quick smile he was looking down at his lap shly again.

‘It’s kinda late, do you maybe wanna stay over? We can have a sleepover like we used to’ he winked and while the idea sounded fun you were also a little unsure.

‘I don’t wanna sleep in your sex bed’ you laughed and the shocked expression on his face made you giggle.

‘Hey, you think I let just anyone go in there? He laughed. ‘I don’t take random girls in there, I take them to the loft room. Well I did at least, I haven’t done that in a while’

‘Why not?’

‘Dunno, just not in the mood? Been too busy begging for your forgiveness’ he teased before his eyes were boring into yours. ‘Please stay’

‘Okay’ you whispered, slightly thankful he’d asked as you didn’t fancy the drive home this late. You were already sleepy and when he tucked you in next to him after he’d put a movie on it didn’t take you long to fall asleep.

The pair of you joked the next morning about who he would call to come and kick you out and you hadn’t felt this normal with him in years. Your Mason was back and you couldn’t be more thankful but again over the next few weeks his behaviour began to change.

It seemed to be going the opposite way though, Mason swapping his devil horns for angel wings and it was like he was getting sweeter by the second.

Every morning you woke up to a good morning text, and every evening he’d text you goodnight. Messaging you throughout the day when he could and even though it was always silly conversations it was like he’d made it his mission to make you smile whenever he could. He was being the best friend he could be and so much more but it was like he was changing his whole life for the better. No more random nights out so he could trap a girl and take her home, no more mean jokes at your expense and you hadn’t heard about his gaggle of yes men in weeks.

You spent all of your free time together. No matter what you were doing or how boring you thought he might have found it he wanted to be there doing it with you.

You knew Mason was always touchy with everyone but he’d never been the same with you. A hand on your shoulder maybe but that was it, however now he couldn’t seem to keep his hands away from you now. Always standing next to you when he could, his hands on your waist or you back or his fingers threaded through yours as you sat and watched tv.

You could feel things changing but you weren’t sure what it was. Wondering if he was just happy you were back but you needed an explanation for the puppy eyes he was sending your way every five seconds that you didn’t understand.

You waited until you’d been to his for dinner one night, letting him load the dishwasher as you got comfortable on the sofa and once he was done he flopped down with his head in your lap as a content hum fell from his lips.

‘What’s gotten into you lately?’ You laughed, massaging his head slightly as he nestled into your lap even further but the action just made you laugh until he was rolling onto his back and looking up at you with a smile that made his eyes crease.

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well I know I said I wanted the old Mason back but this is something else’ you winked and you could see his cheeks flush as you called him out for his actions.

‘Well I want you to like me’ he shrugged, sitting up and taking your hand in his and even though he was shy you kept pressing him in hope of some answers.

‘You’re my best friend Mason, of course I like you’

‘What if I more than like you?’ He whispered, so quietly you thought you hadn’t heard it but when your eyes met his you knew he’d said what you thought he had.

‘I don’t understand’

‘I don’t either really’ he laughed, sitting up taller so he could face you and you felt your heart race at what he might be saying. ‘All I know is that things have changed for me and I feel like I need you to know how I feel. It’s fine if you don’t feel it too but I’ve just been feeling these things for you for a few weeks and you’re the person I tell everything to so I feel like I’ve got to tell you now’

‘What things are you feeling?’ You asked. Wondering if you’d maybe got the wrong end of the stick but his next sentence took the breath out of your lungs.

‘Im feeling like I wanna kiss you’ he whispered, barely able to hear him but you knew what he’d said.

What?

You couldn’t speak, and by the looks of it Mason knew he had to keep speaking so you let him squeeze you hand as he word vomited everything he’d been holding in.

‘I just keep having these moments with you, like time stops and I’m in this trance and all I can focus on you and wanting you in a way I’ve never done before. Remember when we did that puzzle? You put that last piece in and you were just so happy like I swear to god all I wanted to was kiss your face off’ he laughed but you couldn’t believe what he was saying. Not sure how to react as no one had ever said anything like this to you let alone your best friend.

‘Mase I- I don’t think I-‘

‘It’s okay’ he smiled. ‘I said it’s fine if you don’t’ he smiled and even though him saying it made you feel better, you could tell he was a little embarrassed. Wondering if you should make a joke to ease the tension and as he looked away you began to speak without even thinking.

‘I know you said you weren’t in the mood for girls but you must be really desperate if you’re thinking about kissing me’ you laughed, trying to ease the tension slightly but he just smiled at you and shrugged.

‘I wouldn't go that far. But it’s honestly fine, we’ve been spending a lot of time together and I’ve probably got all mixed up. I’m sure it’s just a phase and it’ll pass’ he laughed. ‘Just forget it, it’s fine and I don’t want things to be weird’

But how could you forget?

No one in your entire existence had ever admitted having feelings for you. It was something you never thought would happen yet here was your best friend telling you he felt like he wanted to kiss you.

It was like a switch had suddenly gone off in your brain, over the coming weeks finding yourself daydreaming about kissing him too and what it might be like to be his girl. Thinking about how his hand would feel clasped in your own, his fingers linked in between yours or just how his touch would feel anywhere and everywhere on your body.

You shook yourself out of it at first, like you were waking yourself up from a nightmare and you couldn’t comprehend how your brain had conjured up such a strange image but as the days went on you basked in it. Giggling as you dreamed about all the things you could do together and how happy you could be.

The pair of you had always been platonic, and whilst lately the lines maybe had become a bit blurred as he became touchier with you with the added time you spent together, your thoughts about him lately were anything but platonic.

Everytime you shut your eyes all you could see was his soft smile and the way his eyes creased at the sides so adorably. The dimple on his cheek made your heart race and all you could think about was taking him up on his offer and planting your lips on his. It wasn’t just his smile though, it was everything. His chocolate chip eyes you wanted to drown in, his smell that made you feel like home and his arms that made you feel safer than anything else.

Everything seemed to be hitting you like a truck and you felt ridiculous. Waiting for his name to pop up on your phone constantly and the butterflies only intensified with each new message. Finding yourself sat giggling in anticipation of what he was going to say next and going to bed with a huge smile on your face every night.

You never meant to fall for him, much like he probably never meant to fall for you, but it had happened and you didn’t know what to do with yourself. Feeling like a schoolgirl with your first crush and the fact you knew it was reciprocated somewhat excited you and filled you with dread at the same time.

The more you thought about him, the sillier you started to feel. He never offered to be your boyfriend, never said anything about dates or anything extra. He’d said he wanted to kiss you, and that was it.

The words just a phase rang through your ears constantly and as the days went by you realised you didn’t want to be just a phase to him. Disappointment flooding you at him trying his best to curb his feelings whilst yours only grew for him.

You’d noticed he’d pulled back from you a little bit, trying his hardest not to talk to you every minute of the day but you didn’t let him ignore you for too long. Now you were in your feels all you could think about was him and when you might next get to see him. Not wanting to look too eager and alert him to the fact anything had changed but when he text you one evening you felt your excitement levels rise.

You decided to wear one of the dresses he’d picked out for you for your holiday and gave yourself enough time to do your makeup nicely and straighten your hair. You didn't know why you wanted to, or maybe you did, but it was the first night out where he wasn’t trying to set you up with one of his friends and you felt more relaxed about it. That was until he text you that he was on his way and you felt like throwing up.

It's like the words were stuck in his throat as soon as he saw you, frozen to the spot as you locked your door behind you and you could see him visibly gulp as he tried to shake it off and say hello to you properly.

It was one of the weirdest nights out you’d ever been on, the pair of you turning up together and he led you to your section by your hand. Once he’d found you both seats next to each other he was off to the bar to get you a drink with his eyes not leaving you for me more a few moments before he was back with you.

Things only got weirder though as he paid no attention to any of the girls looking his way, not even engaging in conversation with most of the girls the boys would introduce to him and when you tried to question him about it he just shrugged and said he wasn’t in the mood.

‘Hey y/n, have you met Ethan?’ Woody asked as he nodded someone over. A tall guy with dark hair and bright blue eyes making his way over to you and you rolled your eyes at his clear attempt to set you up with another one of his friends after you’d told him to stop but the feeling of Mason dropping your hand from under the table that made you turn away to look back at him.

He didn’t say anything, just gave you what looked like a sad smile before you had to turn back to say hello to Ethan. Woody banging on about how he came from Portsmouth just like you and Mason and how they’d gone to primary school together but now Ethan was in the Navy hence why you’d never seen him but he was back for a little while to visit.

You didn’t know what possessed you to do it, but you felt weird now Mason's hand wasn’t in yours. Looking down to see it was resting on his thigh so as carefully and as sneakily as you could you laced your fingers back through his and squeezed it gently. Not acknowledging him in any way but you could see his head snap up to look at you from the corner of your eye before his other hand fell over your clasped ones. Fiddling with your rings as the others spoke and you tried not to smile at how adorable he was being.

All the thoughts you’d had about having more with Mason that week, he was making a reality tonight. Giving you glimpses of what it might be like to to be his and how he might treat you but you were still so unsure as to what he wanted as he told you he was just a phase he was getting over so you played dumb for little.

‘You wanna dance?’ You asked him, tugging on his hand gently but he just scrunched his face up slightly.

‘I’m good, you go I’ll watch you’ he smiled and whilst the thought of him watching you dance thrilled you a little bit, you also could tell he wasn’t on his a game and looked like he didn’t even want to be there at all anymore.

‘Are you okay? You don’t seem as into it as usual’

‘I’m fine’ he shrugged ‘Dunno just not in the mood to be around loads of people i guess’

‘We can leave if you want? I mean it’s way past my bedtime anyway’

‘We can, but I’ve got one condition’ he told you with a smile, leaning closer so he could talk right in your ear and you felt every hair in your body stand to attention.

‘What’s that?’

‘Come stay at mine?’ He whispered and his offer made you freeze. ‘I’ll make you breakfast in the morning’

‘Okay’ you whispered, letting him take your hand and lead you out but you were surprised he didn’t want to say goodbye to anyone first. Only giving Woody a quick wave who gave the pair of you a look you couldn't quite make out before you were jumping in a cab back to his.

Part of you was happy he wanted to get home earlier than usual, it had been a long week and once you were changed into an oversized T-shirt of his you got settled on your side of his bed. Hazily watching him slip under the covers in just a pair of boxers as you tried to hide a smile and thankfully he didn’t catch it.

‘Go to sleep love, you look exhausted’ he laughed, tucking the duvet around you a little more tightly. ‘I’ve just got a few emails to look through okay but I’ll be quite’

‘That’s fine, Night Mase’

‘Night love’ he whispered and you turned onto your side away from him so you could get comfy and hopefully drift off soon.

Your whole body felt like a dead weight, your eyes feeling like they’d been stuck together with glue but your mind wouldn’t shut off and you knew you would be thinking about Mason and replaying most of the night you’d just spent together. Remembering the way he held your hand, held your waist and spoke directly into your ear like you were his made your spine tingle. But the memories were soon becoming warped and disfigured as your brain became tired and you eventually let the sleep take you.

You hadn't been asleep long, but the feeling of Mason's arm sliding around your waist as he cuddled up to you woke you slightly. Not enough to wake you up fully and the warmth of his body pressed against yours was already sending you back to sleep so you just went with it and let him hold you. Revelling in the soft kisses he was pressing to your shoulder as you tried not to smile but you definitely weren't ready for what was about to happen next.

‘What am I gonna do with you, eh?’ He whispered, only just loud enough for you to hear but you knew you shouldn’t be. He obviously thought you were still asleep and couldn’t hear him so you stayed as still as you could and kept your breathing steady in hopes he’d carry on. ‘I’d do absolutely anything for you, you know that? And I’m really trying to get over you but you make it so difficult’

I don’t want you to get over me was the first thought in your head but you didn’t vocalise it. You wanted him to keep talking, to see what else he could admit to your semi unconscious state and luckily enough for you he kept going.

‘I know I said it was just a phase but I’m not so sure it is now. You’re the only person who knows the real me and wants what’s best for me. I can’t get you out of my head’

You waited for more, but it never came. Soon enough his soft snores filled the room and you knew he was asleep but his admissions were enough for you. You knew how he felt, and you were pretty sure you felt the same now but you weren’t sure if you had the balls to do anything about it right now so you followed his lead and shut your eyes so you could let the sleep take you again.

Mason was still asleep when you awoke. The pair of you facing each other as you’d turned in your sleep and you used the time he was asleep just to look at him. His pouty lips and pink cheeks made your tummy flutter and after what you’d heard last night all you could think about is what to say to him this morning.

He didn’t give you too much longer to think about it though and you felt your heart thump as he stirred awake. His eyes opening softly as they latched onto yours but his expression remained unchanged asides from a small smile. Just looking back at you as you did the same to him and a sense of peace washed over you.

The pair of you were both on the edge of your own respective pillows, as close as you could be without touching one another but the moment felt intimate and you could see the love in his eyes for you as you watched each other bathed in the early morning sun. The light bringing out the golden tones in his hair and the honey hues in his eyes, it hitting you right there that your best friend was probably the most gorgeous boy you’d ever laid eyes on.

You both didn’t move for a while. Content with just looking at the person in front of you and thinking how thankful you were that you got a chance to wake up next to them and you knew this was only ending one way. You were nervous to say the least, but after everything you’d heard last night you were pretty sure you were on the same page and he’d welcome what you were about to give him.

It was you that made the first move. Not even sure as to why you did it but you lent forward slowly, watching how his body mirrored your own as you kept going and both your eyes snapped away from one another. Focusing on the others lips now and just as your hand reached out to touch his chest for a bit of support, your lips finally locked and his hand cupped your jaw immediately.

It wasn’t a soft kiss like you thought it might be, Mason stole the breath from your lungs as soon as it hit him what was happening. Pushing himself forward so he could hover over you and control the kiss a bit more but you moved your hand to the back of his head so he wouldn’t part from you.

Your tummy was erupting with butterflies, your chest heaving as he slipped his tongue in your mouth and you couldn’t help but press yourself into him further. Letting him grip your thigh as he hitched it up his body and you were quite happy to get lost in him but it was Mason that pulled back. Kissing over your cheeks until you were giggling and when he eventually pulled back his smile made your heart melt.

He was quick to settle back down next to you. Pulling your body right up against his and keeping your thigh wrapped around his waist before you felt his hand on your lower back so he could tickle your skin lightly.

‘Sorry’ you whispered, suddenly feeling embarrassed about what you’d done but his gentle smile relaxed you.

‘Don’t be, I don’t mind’ he smiled. Pecking your lips again softly and you knew you were blushing. ‘You know I’ve been wanting to kiss for a while but I didn’t wanna push things too far’ he smiled ‘and it’s not that I don’t want to ever, but I don’t want you to regret anything right now’

‘I wouldn’t have’ you whispered, watching his face soften slightly but deep down you knew it was for the best. You still didn’t know what any of this meant and it was clearly obvious to Mason you were worried as he brushed some strands of hair out of your face and gave you a sympathetic smile.

‘What is it, love? What’s on your mind’

‘I just… I’m not sure, like what does all of this mean?’ You breathed. Watching his eyes light up as you finally spoke your mind. ‘Your my best friend Mason, I don’t want to lose you’

‘You won’t’

‘But I need to know what you want. Is it just a kiss? Like are we done now?’ You laughed, trying to keep it light as it was a pretty serious conversation but the smile on his face relaxed you.

‘No, I’m definitely not done with you’ he told you sincerely. ‘I get us being friends complicates things a little bit but I’m not the guy you think I am, not anymore at least anyway and definitely not when it comes to you’

‘I feel like I’m not enough for you’ you whispered, finally addressing the elephant in the room and you could tell your words had upset him a little bit. The frown on his face was adorable but you wanted him to know how you felt no matter how awful it sounded.

‘Don’t say that’ he huffed, kissing your jaw gently. ‘Tell me why so I can tell you it’s rubbish’

‘No because what if I can’t give you everything those other girls have?’ You laughed even though you were trying to be serious. ‘Like I don't wanna be a dick but you’ve always said you’d never be a one woman guy so what’s changed. What if your eyes wander somewhere else? What do I do then?’

You didn’t mean for it to come out so abruptly but Mason knew you never minced your words and didn’t take it too badly. He knew his past and he owned it but he also knew it was his feelings for you that had changed him and he was willing to say whatever he could to get you on board.

‘Remember the day we did the puzzle together, and I said I hadn’t slept with anyone in a while cause I wasn’t in the mood? Well that wasn’t the reason. I didn't know it then fully but I hadn’t because all I wanted was you and the thought of being with anyone else made me feel weird’ he told you. His fingers delicately tracing patterns on your back as he spoke and you knew you were hanging off his every word. ‘At first I thought it was because I missed us being together and I wanted to spend more time with you, but then I wanted to spend all my time with you. My eyes aren’t gonna wander okay? They haven’t in months and why would they when you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen’

‘You’re just saying that’ you whispered, not used to compliments like that coming from him and your instincts were to think he was lying but you could see in his eyes something had changed.

‘Don’t tell me what I think’ he teased, squeezing your sides gently. ‘I’ve always thought you were pretty, why do you think I could never understand that you were single?’

‘Mase I’ve never… I’ve never done any of this. You’re the first boy who’s ever admitted to feeling anything more than friendship with me. I don’t know what to do’

‘You don’t have to do anything, we don’t have to do anything okay? Nothing has to change. I just wanna hold you more, kiss you more maybe if that’s something you’d want’

‘I’ve never had sex’ you blurted and the confession made him chuckle. Clearly he knew this already but you just wanted him to be certain of what he was getting himself into.

‘That’s fine’ he whispered, pulling you in a little closer. ‘I know you’re scared, okay? This is different for me too. I’ve never had a proper girlfriend before, I mean I’ve dated girls and been exclusive with a couple but never got to the official stage. I’ve never wanted that from anyone but I want it from you. If that’s what you want’

‘I think I do, I’m just…’

‘What?’ He whispered, a look of love and reassurance on his face and you felt your eyes sting at how safe you felt with him.

‘I’m fucking terrified’ you laughed. ‘I know I’ve been trying to find someone but I never thought it would be you’

‘Well I didn’t think I’d fall for you either’ he winked before placing a soft kiss to your lips that made you melt into the sheets. ‘We don’t have to stick a big label on it or anything, we can just hang out like we have been and see what comes natural to us okay? And if it’s sex your worried about then I don’t care about waiting’

‘I don’t wanna be bad for you’

‘You won’t be, not when you’ve got me for a teacher anyway’ he joked and you rolled your eyes before his face got serious. ‘I know you’re scared but you know you can trust me don't you? I wanna be the one to show you, to make you feel good. I wanna be the one you trust to show you how good it can be’ he whispered and you felt your skin tingle all over at his words. ‘But we’ll wait until you’re ready cause there’s a million things we need to do before we get there’

‘So I’m not just a phase then?’

‘Not at all’ he laughed, ‘and I never thought you were. I could just tell you didn’t feel the same when I told you how I felt and I was trying to make you feel better’ He’d explained. ‘I couldn't go three weeks without you, gorgeous. And I knew I’d fucked up the next day but I was too much of a dick to do anything about it until I couldn’t cope without you anymore’

‘So.. you’re looking for a relationship then?’ You asked, wanting everything out on the table so you could both be certain about what was going on and you watched his face soften at you as he bit his lip nervously.

‘I wasn’t, you know I’ve never cared about that stuff but you’ve made me care. I want to do all that stuff with you. I’m done messing people around okay I just want you’

‘I want you too’ you whispered, finally admitting it out loud and you felt the weight of the world lift off of you.

‘Yeah? I thought you didn’t’

‘So did I, but ever since you told me how you felt I haven’t been able to stop thinking about us. Its like you tapped into this weird part of my brain that thinks about you in ways I never have before’

‘You’ve finally fallen victim to my mind control’ he teased and you only had a second to smile before his lips were on yours again. Hot and heavy as you wrapped yourselves around each other and you realised kissing Mason was better than you ever imagined. You just hoped you could somehow make him feel the same one day but when Mason pulled back and rested his forehead on yours, his eyes told you all you needed to know.

‘So if you’ve never had sex and never had a boyfriend, was that your first kiss?’ He asked quizzically, a spark of hope in his eyes that he could kiss you like no one else had but unfortunately you had to burst his bubble just a tiny bit.

‘You’d think it would be but no it wasn’t’ you giggled and he looked at you in deep confusion. ‘You remember Scott from school? Scott Grey?’ You asked and he nodded his head in confusion. ‘Well technically he was my first kiss’

‘You what?’

‘Oh yeah’ you laughed, laying on your back as he pushed you back slightly and you could see the jealousy written all over his face. 'He took me round the back of the science building after school once to show me his new tamagotchi. Asked if I’d liked to be its mum before planting one on me and then never spoke to me again’

‘Why didn’t you tell me? I would have kicked his dick off’ he told you, brows pinched as you could tell how annoyed he was with him but you were quick to hold his face and kiss his nose.

‘First of all, no you wouldn’t have. He was twice your size and his dad was on the school board so you could have been kicked out. And secondly I never told you cause you’ve never asked’

‘I’ve been pretty rubbish haven’t I’ he huffed, it suddenly hitting him that he simultaneously knew everything about you but also nothing at all but the way you stroked his cheek let him know everything was okay.

‘If it makes you feel any better, you were my first proper kiss. I’ve never kissed anyone like that before’

‘That does make me feel better’ he chuckled. Getting himself settled next to you again before he pulled you into his chest. ‘What about dates?’

‘I’ve been on a couple’

‘When was the last one?’

‘Like two months ago? A few days after we had our big argument’

‘What?’ He laughed, tickling your sides until you giggled but you fought him off eventually.

‘After I called you a dick and left the club that night, Olivia took me to a party at some guys from works house. I got talking to one of his friends and we went out on a date a few days after but it was actually me that wasn’t feeling it and I told him I didn't see things going anywhere’

‘What was wrong with him?’ He asked quietly but that was the issue. There was nothing wrong with him at all.

‘Just didn’t feel what I thought I should have felt you know?’ You whispered and you saw Mason nod gently with a smile on his lips. ‘I know I’ve never been in that situation or felt those things before but I told myself when I did eventually find someone I wouldn’t settle for just anyone. I want fireworks and warmth and all those things you read about’

‘Do you feel it now?’ He whispered, his eyes searching your face erratically almost as if he was scared of your answer but little did he know he had no reason to be.

‘I do, yeah’

The relieved breath that fell from Mason's lips made you smile wider than you had in a while. His own face mirroring yours just as he planted another heavy kiss on your lips before trailing his kissed down your jaw and neck and you knew you had to try and distract him before you both ended up in a compromised position.

‘Mason?’ You gasped, hearing him chuckle against your skin and even though he stopped his attack with his lips you felt him nestle into you with a content hum that made you pull him in closer.

‘Yes love?’ He spoke against your neck, the vibrations travelling over every inch of your skin and you had to hold in your gasp at the feel of it.

‘You promised me breakfast’ you whispered and that was all it took for him to pull up and look at you with his usual cheeky smile.

‘I did, didn't I’ he laughed. Gently brushing a few strands of hair out of your face. ‘How do pancakes sound?’

‘It sounds like you want me to make breakfast’ you pouted, watching him nod at you enthusiastically before he was trying his hardest to pull you away from the warmth and safety of the duvet.

‘I love how you get me. Come on, I’ll assist you’ he confirmed and you didn’t have it in you to argue. Letting him pull you up so you could stand in front of him and when you felt his hands dangerously low on your back you smiled up at him cheekily. ‘Thank you for giving me a shot, I know I don’t deserve one’

‘You better make it worth my while then, Mount’ you teased but no more words needed to be said. You could see it in his eyes he was ready to make things as good for the pair of you as he could so you let him lead you downstairs by the hand to start the next part of your journey together.

Well done if you made it 🤭 thank you so so much for reading and I’d love some feedback if you fancy it 😘 xxx

[multifariousqueer]

im starving for 42 miles and i agree w ur hcs so can u pls write a fem reader fic where we’re chilling at home n he js barges in one night all roughed up n he has heaps of cuts n is bloody- and we get concerned but we know not to ask so we js silently patch him up while he stares at us (and hes got like sm thoughts in his head ab how much he loves us and appreciates us etc) and u can finish it off BUT YEAH

also pls include the pet names cos his accent has me WEAKKK and ik he def calls us ma and mami😩😩😩

Ofc Love!!! I’ve wanted to get this done for a bit now so here it is!!:

A/n: keep requesting miles!42 and regular miles fics please!! 🩷

Warnings: suggestiveness at the end, make out sessions, angst, fluff, groping(it’s consensual and it’s only seen when you squint), love confessions, possible spoilers if you haven’t seen atsv yet

3:00 AM

You: miles, baby are you okay?

Seen

You: are you mad at me for the joke I made about your braids being fluffy?

Seen

You: I didn’t mean it

You: text me when you can. Love you 🩷🩷

Seen

You fell asleep exasperated like you’ve been doing for the last three weeks now. Miles hasn’t been answering any of your texts or calls and has been leaving you on seen for no reason. When you did see him in person, he looked tired and diminished. Ever since his dad died, he’s been acting weird like this; but you could understand why. Although him and Uncle Aaron were closer, Miles was still really close to his dad and his dad loved you. You came over Rio and Miles’ house every day since then and tried to provide solace to them but Miles was always gone when you came over. His room looked different too, having ditched the bright superhero posters and traded them in for boxing gloves and a punching bag. Thankfully, you had established trust with Miles and he knew he could come to you any time, you just didn’t expect him to come through your window at 4:00 AM on a Saturday morning.

It was about 3:15 when he saw your message, he wondered why you were still up and what were you doing but he couldn’t ponder the question for too long because he had someone chained up to his punching bag.

“Miles? Get off your phone, man.”- Uncle Aaron’s voice brought Miles back to reality

Miles did as told and geared up to kill the young boy who looked exactly like himself when all of a sudden, the chains fell and the doppelgänger swung at Miles’ perfectly structured face. A few of the punches connected but he was still able to subdue the mirrored image of himself(if everything went right).

However, Miles’ suit had been clobbered, his clothes covered in blood from a broken nose and blood from the fight. Even though he won, he couldn’t go back to his house because his mom would admonish him for this and Uncle Aaron was keeping watch so he went to your house.

You heard faint tapping on the window that you had assumed it was a bird, until the tapping became a loud knocking. You scurried up grabbing the nearest thing that looked like a weapon and went to the window. You found a battered Miles and knew something was wrong:

“Miles?”-you whisper shouted

“Ola mi amor” he said, trying to be suave but flinching in pain

You opened the window and let him in. You knew he was rough and bloodied up for a reason but it was late(or early depending on how you look at it) and you knew he wouldn’t tell you why; a small part of you also knew but chose not to acknowledge it. You just silently grabbed the first aid kit and patched him up as best as you could. You noticed he had a broken nose:

“Rough night?” You Said, trying to ease the tension

Miles didn’t reply, rather he looked at you through bruised eyes and simply nodded.

“Your nose is broken. You should probably go the the hospital for that” you said, nonchalantly

“Can’t you fix it?” He mumbled

“not easily” you mumbled, mocking his tone

He gave you an annoyed glare before saying:

“I’m sorry to come in late like this. And I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring you, Mami; it’s a lot going on that you wouldn’t understand and I’m trying to protect you.”

“It would’ve been nice for you to call or text” you said while closing the first-aid kit.

“I knew you would’ve worried about me and I didn’t want that” he said, hanging his head

“I’m your girlfriend, it’s my job to worry about you” you chuckled

It was like a Disney movie, Miles realized that if no one else would, you would hold it down for him and that you were gonna be there through thick and thin. He knew he loved you but this solidified it in his mind; he knew that if he survived long enough, you were gonna be his wife. It would be you waking him up everyday, it would be you kissing him goodnight and good morning, it would be you carrying and having his babies. Some days, he would wake up and wonder how he got so lucky with someone like you but he never thought too much into it because he knew he would find a way to sabotage it for himself but now, he didn’t care:

“I love you, Y/n” he said

“I love you too, Miles” you replied softly

“No. I mean like I love you so much that I can’t stand it, I wanna marry you, Y/n and be with you for life. If no one else has me, I know you do and I can’t even imagine myself without you.” Miles said

You started to tear up before crashing your lips onto his. Your lips moved in perfect sync as he grabbed your hips with one hand, and cupped your face in the other. You stayed this way for a while until Miles slipped his tongue into your mouth, battling for dominance against your tongue which he emerged victorious. He started moving his other hand to your ass as you moved yours to his chest when suddenly, you hear your parent call out:

“Y/n!!!”

“Yeah” you replied nervously, Miles leaving a trail of kisses down your neck

“Breakfast is ready” they shouted

You looked at your phone as Miles rubbed your back and saw it was 8:00 already.

“Shit” You Said under your breath, partly because of how Miles was making you feel

“Go Mamà, we’ll finish this later” he said against his neck

“Okay I love you, call me this time” you smiled

“Por supesto, Mami” he replied

You went down for breakfast and sat in your normal spot:

“Y/n?” Your parent said

“Yeah?” You replied

“What’s that on your neck?” They smirked

Damn it Miles

Translations

Por supesto- of course

[holllandtrash]

6 to 1 | lando norris (part 7)

pairing: lando norris x leclerc!reader part 7 in the 6 to 1 series (read part 1 here)

the lead up to the silverstone race is treacherous, painful and downright confusing, and you're not referring to the weather. you find yourself being pulled in different directions and just when you think you've figured it out, your path leads you right back to where you started in the first place

word count: 6.9k tags/warnings: just a lot of angst im sorry

Usually, when you attended the races, you were there all weekend. From Friday morning till the end of the podium ceremony on Sunday. But for Silverstone, you were dreading walking into that track and seeing Charles so you pushed back your travel plans and decided to only go for the race.

Lando ordered a car for you to take to the hotel Saturday night, something that he really didn’t have to do but he insisted on it and you were starting to figure out which battles to pick with him. This was not one of them. 

He had to be at the hotel with his team Wednesday night, so you really didn’t get to spend too much time with him after the shoot with Quadrant. 

Which, honestly, you were okay with. You needed to pack as you were heading straight back to Monaco the following Monday with Charles and Arthur. You weren’t looking forward to that plane ride. If you were lucky, Charles would have a good weekend and he wouldn’t bring up Lando.

But the second the car pulled up to the hotel, a few drops of rain hit the windshield. The driver made a comment about how conditions would only get worse for tomorrow and you so desperately wanted to ignore the possibility of a wet race, however that seemed to be what everyone was talking about in the lobby.

You picked up your room key and texted both Lando and Charles that you arrived. Lando texted you back immediately saying he was in a briefing with his team but that he’d stop by your room after and Charles, without any context, sent you '1125'. His room number.

You dropped your luggage off, but didn’t give yourself any time to settle in before heading up the few levels to floor 11. Charles didn’t have to say anything other than his room number, you got the hint. He needed to talk to you. 

The door swung open as soon as you knocked. 

“Look I don’t want to fight,” you started off, already sounding defensive as you followed Charles into the hotel room. 

“I don’t want to fight either,” Charles agreed with you, opening up the mini fridge to pull out a bottle of water. “I just want to know what’s going on in your head, Y/N. What are you doing getting involved with a driver?”

“Lando’s just a friend,” but even you didn’t believe your own words. 

Charles gave you a look, one that told you he saw right through your bullshit and you pulled your fingers through your hair, needing a way out of this that didn’t paint you or Lando as the bad guy. 

“Okay fine,” you shrugged helplessly. “I like him, I think. Is that what you want me to say? It’s not as though I’m dating him and even if I was, what’s the big deal?”

You probably didn’t need to add that last question. It was just an open invitation for Charles to tell you everything that was weighing heavy on his mind.

“This is a dangerous sport, Y/N, but this is what all of us drivers have signed up for.” Charles started off with what you already knew before hitting you where it would hurt. “We know the risks when we get in the cars, but we don’t have to think about anything besides what’s on the track…” his pause was deafening. “But if you started dating him, that’s an entirely new element that’s now being introduced to the race.”

You scoffed, “No it’s-”

Charles held up his hand. “Listen to me, Y/N. You would be on the back of my mind if I’m ever even near him on the track. And you’ll always be on his. He might stop pulling risky moves, knowing that if anything happened to him, it would destroy you and not only that, there would be no more racing between us because subconsciously, you’ll be in the cars with us, telling us not to fight, not to put our lives at even more risk.” 

He reasons for you not wanting to date a driver lined up with yours, but he was able to offer it from the perspective behind the wheel.

“It’s the same reason why I’m terrified for Arthur to ever move up to F1,” Charles further explained. “I would jeopardise my own race for him, for his safety. I would do anything to protect him and I would do anything to protect you. If you started dating Lando, then that need to look after you, automatically extends to him.”

You felt sick. You needed to lean against the wall behind you, feeling your legs grow numb. The worry in Charles’ eyes assured you that he was no longer upset or mad about you going behind his back to hang out with Lando, he was now concerned for what lay ahead. 

“I love you and I want you to be happy, I want nothing more than for you to find a partner to be happy with,” Charles rubbed his hand over his face as he shook his head. This was as painful for him to get out as it was for you to hear. “But selfishly, I don’t want you to put your happiness in another driver.”

There really wasn’t anything for you to say. Charles had every right to be selfish. This was his career, his life. You weren’t supposed to be any more intertwined in it than you already were. 

You pushed yourself off the wall, ignoring the sinking feeling in your stomach as you turned to walk towards the door. 

Charles tried to follow, “Y/N, I didn’t mean-”

You held up a hand towards him as you turned and forced a smile on your face. You really didn’t want to fight. You loved your brother, you wanted to respect what he was asking. He had given you so much. Because of him, you had dozens upon dozens of opportunities and met the most incredible people. 

You could give up this thing with Lando, whatever it was. And better you did it now before it became too hard to walk away.

“You should get some sleep” you told Charles, your voice almost caught in your throat. “I’ll, um, I’ll see you in the morning.”

You left his room without another word. The elevator ride back to your floor was slow, treacherous even as you thought about what sort of conversation you needed to have with Lando. 

You’d wait till after the race. It wouldn’t do anyone any favours to call this whole thing off right before his home race. The least you could do was wait until after to break his heart. 

But then the elevator opened and you saw the driver who had taken up all of your thoughts leaning against your hotel room door. He put his phone away when he looked up and spotted you. His smile broke you. For so long you wanted to be the reason for it and now you were going to be the cause of why it would disappear. 

“How was the drive?” Lando asked, stepping out of the way for you to unlock the door. “It’s starting to rain, hey? The team thinks it’ll be pretty bad for most of the race tomorrow but what’s Silverstone without a little-”

“Lando,” you cut him off promptly, turning the handle to push the door open. You met his eyes for a second before you had to look away, before he could catch on that something was wrong. “Look, I’m really tired, I just want to go to sleep, I’m sorry.”

“Oh,” Lando was a little taken aback, but he didn’t try to talk you into staying up. He reached forward and gave your hand a squeeze, “Okay, yeah, get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

All you wanted to do was pull him into your hotel room and spend the next few hours with him until he had to leave to go to bed. Even then, you’d probably be able to convince him to just spend the night with you. 

But you couldn’t do that. The most you could do was offer up a sliver of a smile before walking into the room and letting the door shut behind you. 

Suddenly, a wet race for tomorrow seemed like the least of your worries.

You arrived at Silverstone with Charles. He had tried to talk to you all morning and it wasn’t as though you were mad at him, you were just frustrated with the position he had put you in.

It didn’t help that the second you scanned your badge and stepped past the gates, you felt the first raindrop of the day hit your cheek. You looked up, and even with the dark shades on, it was impossible to miss the incoming storm clouds.

“Wet race today, hey?” 

You turned over your shoulder to see Pierre scanning his badge as well. The two of you hadn’t spoken at all since your conversation in Montreal. You asked yourself why you even stopped walking to wait for him, especially since Charles had gone off ahead to get out of the rain.

“Still giving me the cold shoulder?” Pierre asked as he approached you. The two of you started walking down the paddock, thankfully the Ferrari motorhome was close.

“Still telling everyone we slept together?” You retorted and Pierre dipped his head back and laughed.

“Chérie, I told like four, maybe five people,” Pierre tried to play it off, but when he saw you weren’t about to give him the time of day, he grabbed your hand and forced you to stop walking. “Come on, we’re friends. Don’t cut me off like this.”

“No, you and Charles are friends,” you hastily pulled your hand away from his grasp. “I’m just someone who got caught up in the moment.”

It blew your mind how cocky Pierre could be sometimes. It almost made you want to tell Charles what happened just because you knew it would cause a fight between them. Maybe Pierre would second guess his actions if he was getting yelled at by his best friend.

And that way, Charles would have something else on his mind besides you and Lando. If anything bad happened on the track, not like you want something to happen, he could blame it on finding out about Pierre and you. Surely learning that his closest friend and sister slept together was much worse than whatever this fling was that you currently had with Lando.

Speaking of Lando…

You hadn’t even seen him walk through the gates. Your frustration, and therefore your attention, was solely on Pierre. It wasn’t until the bright orange hoodie became impossible to ignore that you pulled your eyes away from the French driver.

Recently when you looked at Lando, you felt a swarm of butterflies attack your stomach. 

Those butterflies were still there, but it was as if they were now trying to claw their way out of your stomach, fighting each other and making you suffer the consequences. 

You didn’t want to end things. 

You wanted to meet him halfway as he approached you and collapse in his arms, who cares who saw? You wanted to kiss him without a time limit and wish him good luck today. You wanted to hang out in the fucking McLaren motorhome which is something you never thought you’d ever find yourself wishing for.

“Little gloomy today, huh?” Lando asked, sounding a lot chipper than how you or Pierre looked.

You glanced up, as did Pierre and you shrugged. The less you spoke now, the easier it would be to end things later.

“It’s not too bad yet,” Pierre pointed out.

“Oh I was talking about Y/N’s outfit,” Lando joked, nudging your arm with his elbow. “What’s with the all bla- are you okay?” Lando's smile dropped and his tone did a 180 the second he noticed you weren’t in the mood for one of his jokes. He glanced between you and Pierre and not so subtly raised an eyebrow.

“I didn’t do anything this time!” Pierre announced, hands held up beside his head in defence as he started to walk away. “Paddock Princess over here was in a bad mood before I said anything.”

You watched him head off for a second before your attention went back to Lando. You tried to dodge his hand when he reached for your sunglasses but he was too quick, pulling them right off your face. 

“You’ve been crying.” 

“You should get inside before it really starts to rain.”

“Look either we keep stating the obvious or we talk about what’s going on,” Lando demanded, not giving you any other option. There was no lighthearted tone any more, no more playful attitude like he usually had when he saw you in the Paddock. 

More people started to walk through the gates, people that were going to want Lando’s attention if he didn’t keep walking, you both knew this. 

“Can we not have this conversation right here?” You asked him, lowering your voice as you nervously glanced around. Ideally, you wouldn’t even be having this conversation. 

And in a strange twist of fate, you got what you wanted.

Lando could see right through you, he saw the hesitation just from your stance alone. The guilt in your eyes was clear even if they were slightly puffy and bloodshot. They way you refused to hold eye contact for more than a few seconds told him that something heavy weighed on your shoulders, something heavy enough to take out the both of you. 

And Lando didn’t want to have this conversation either.

He might not have known exactly what was on your mind, but he didn’t need to ask anything to know it wasn’t good. That and how quick you were to turn him away last night, it was all starting to add up. No words needed to be spoken.

He handed your sunglasses back to you and nodded slightly, like he was accepting the outcome of this, like he knew he couldn’t change your mind, so why bother trying? He walked right past you without saying anything, but that’s what you wanted right? 

No conversation was easier than laying it all out on the table. It was easier to accept the reality as it was than to hear yourself say the words ‘we can’t be together’. 

You slid the sunglasses back on your face and waited a few seconds before heading towards Ferrari, making sure to stay on the opposite side of the paddock. Neither one of you so much as glanced at the other. You heard his name being called before you walked up the bright red steps and the moment you entered the motorhome, you let out the heaviest exhale that had been pressing against your chest. 

Was it even reasonable for you to be reacting like this? You weren’t even dating.

But you were throwing away the possibility of something great, all because you knew you had to put Charles first. 

He was the first person you saw when you walked inside and gathered your bearings. He was in the middle of a conversation with his assistant when you grabbed his arm and pulled him away.

“I hope you’re happy,” you spoke through a bitter laugh. “Me and Lando are done.”

He seemed confused, but when his features softened after a moment, you could tell that he was in fact pleased to hear this news.

“Good,” Charles nodded. “You shouldn’t date a driver anyway.”

“No you shouldn’t have this much say over my life, Charles,” you rubbed your hands over your face, letting what was once sorrow turn to anger. “It’s not fucking fair.”

“It’s not fair?” He raised his voice as well, neither of you caring about the handful of people that were nearby. “I put my life at risk every weekend, the least you could do is not give me something else to think about when I get in the car!”

“You don’t have to think about anything other than the points, don't worry.” You assured him. The venomous tone was impossible to miss. “And good luck today. Hopefully my heartbreak doesn’t ruin your race for you.”

Charles groaned, rolling his eyes at how dramatic he thought you were being, “Y/N-”

“Oh, no, wait, you only give a shit about my feelings when I start caring about a driver other than you, right?” You patted his shoulder, a bit of force behind it as you sucked in a sharp breath. “Brother of the year, over here.”

You walked past him and he was smart by not trying to talk to you, instead choosing to go up to his drivers room. You sat down on the couch in the hospitality lounge, lips pursed together tightly as the sound of raindrops hitting the window behind you started to grow loud enough to drown out your own thoughts.

You would have loved nothing more than for the race to start, to stand in the back of the garage and flip Charles off before he slid his helmet on. You wanted to flirt with Carlos right in front of your brother before he was inevitably dragged away. You wanted to watch the race and cheer Lando on for a change. You wanted to do anything and everything that would purposely get under his skin.

But things never seemed to work out in your favour. 

It was announced the race was postponed due to the oncoming storm and you stayed right there on that couch, watching everyone else scurry around to figure out the new game plan for the day.

Charles' assistant tried talking to you at one point, but you just shook your head. She got the hint and turned right around.

You weren’t in the mood to talk to anyone in the motorhome, that was pretty obvious. If the all black outfit wasn’t enough to deter people away already, your constant crossed arms and the fact that you wore sunglasses inside sure had people second guessing whether or not they wanted to approach you during the wait.

A couple hours went by and you received a few curious looks, but the only person who didn’t give a single fuck that you were purposely trying to look reclusive, was Carlos. 

He dropped down on the couch beside you, arm stretched on the back of the couch behind your shoulders as he playfully twisted the end of your ponytail around his fingers.

You yanked your hair out of his hand, “What do you want, Carlos?”

“Why are you in a bad mood?” He was straight to the point, you liked that about your friendship. There wasn’t any bullshit.

“I’m not,” okay maybe there was a little bullshit.

“Okay,” Carlos nodded, going right back to playing with your hair, “Why is Charles in a bad mood?”

“I don't know, it’s not my problem.”

“I think it is, hermosa,” Carlos snickered, “I think you two are each other's problems.”

“Fine, you know what,” you turned on the couch to face him. Carlos was a bit taken aback to see you give in and talk so easily, “Charles’ problem is that he thinks my life affects his and my problem is that I care too much about what Charles thinks. Do you see how this is a bad cycle for us to be in?”

Carlos paused. You could tell by the way his jaw tensed he was trying to figure out what to say, but you were purposely vague and the more time that passed with you just staring at the Ferrari driver, the more it sank in for both of you that he probably couldn’t help you.

“Is this about Lando?” Carlos eventually asked. “And how about how you two have been getting close recently?”

You inhaled a sharp breath, “This is about me practically being forced to put Charles first.”

“As opposed to…”

“Putting myself first.”

Carlos raised his eyebrows. Everything you said was just adding to the confusion and you eventually just gave up trying to keep it bottled in.

You repeated what Charles had told you last night. You told Carlos about the added risks Charles had if you started dating a driver, you shared the concerns and how guilty you felt for wanting to see things through with Lando when you knew you owed it to Charles to call things off. You expressed that you were upset and angry and broken and confused at the same time, which shouldn't have been possible.

“He told me he didn’t want me to put my happiness in a driver,” you rested your elbow on the couch, cheek to palm as you tried to ignore the pain of Charles’ words for the second time in less than 12 hours.

Carlos didn’t say anything for a few seconds. And then those seconds turned into a minute. And then that minute turned into three and you had to hit his arm to get him to look at you, worried that he had been thinking too hard and accidentally zoned out.

“Carlos,” your eyebrows furrowed together, “Say something.”

He opened his mouth, only to close it once again. You rubbed your hand over your face, wondering why you decided an F1 driver would make a good therapist. 

“I just-” Carlos couldn’t get the words out. “I don’t get it, is all. When we get in the car, we know that nothing else matters except the race. Charles doesn’t have the right to pull you into the car with him, metaphorically of course. If he does that and messes up his race, that’s his own fault.”

You wished that was the case, but Charles didn’t see it like that. 

“Okay, let’s say you were dating a driver, Lando, for example” Carlos started off, dragging his fingers over his lower lip. “Charles is the one who needs to learn how to separate it. He needs to learn when it’s time to see Lando as the competition and when to see Lando as the person who makes you happy.” Carlos dropped his hand to your leg, “That isn’t on you. That’s on him.”

“But it’s just going to make his life difficult and I don’t want that for him.”

“Charles is a grown man I think he can figure it out,” Carlos’s assuring smile spread across his face. “Plus with the amount of gossip that goes on in the paddock, I don’t get why this, your happiness, is what he’s choosing to make you feel guilty for.”

You nodded in agreement before Carlos’ words actually hit you. 

“Wait,” you pointed a finger at him. “What gossip?”

Carlos instantly knew he messed up, “I didn’t-”

“What. Gossip.”

But his silence said it all. This fucking Pierre bullshit was coming back to haunt you again. You dropped your hands to your face and let out a muffled scream. There were a handful of people who were nearby who gave you a look of concern, but none of them mattered.

When you looked at Carlos again, his face had gone red. 

“So you know and Charles knows?” You asked. “About me and Pierre?”

“Well he doesn’t-” he shrugged. “Charles has an idea but he’s not going to ask you or Pierre about it. He can pretend it didn’t happen if you never confirm it.”

“But he knows,” you clarified. It wasn’t your fault that Charles just wouldn’t accept the reality of what happened. “He knows and yet somehow, that doesn’t affect him on the track? He can race Pierre like normal but the second I’m actually happy with someone, it’s game over?”

Again, Carlos didn’t know how to respond and this time, you weren’t sticking around and waiting for him to. You stood up from the couch and walked up the stairs of the motorhome, knowing your brother was in his driver's room. Carlos was hot on your heels, probably regretting having dug this past up because whether he liked it or not, he was now caught in the middle of it.

You didn’t even knock on Charles’ door, you just swung it open. Charles was sitting on the couch, scrolling through his phone, half dressed for the upcoming race. His fireproof long sleeve was on but his drivers’ suit was hanging around his hips. He looked up at you, confused as to why you just barged in.

You just blurted it out.

“J'ai baisé Pierre.” I fucked Pierre.

Charles’ mouth dropped.

You repeat yourself, in English this time. “I had sex with Pierre.”

He stood up, looking at Carlos behind you for help, but Carlos was just as stunned as he was.

Finally, you said it in Italian, just to get the message across loud and clear. “Ho dormito con il tuo migliore amico." I slept with your best friend.

Charles was speechless. He tried to sputter out the word ‘what’ but he had no voice. He just kept shaking his head, as if that would do anything.

“And-” you decided to keep going. Everything was already up in flames so why not keep feeding the fire, right?

You turned and grabbed Carlos’ shirt to pull him towards you. Before he had time to react, you pressed your lips to his. For a second, you did panic about not knowing whether or not he would even consent to this but when you felt Carlos start to kiss you back after a few seconds, presumably forgetting his teammate and your brother was standing right in front of you, you figured it was fine.

You pulled back and looked at Charles, “-I just kissed your teammate.”

“What the fuck-”

“I like Lando,” you harshly cut him off.

This was the first time you were saying it without the word maybe in front or i think following it. This was also the first time you didn’t feel any sort of hesitation. It was freeing.

“I like him. And I don’t know how strong these feelings are, I don’t know if they’ll last, all I know is that he makes me so stupidly happy, and selfishly-” you used his word against him. “-I want to hold onto that for as long as I can.”

You felt Carlos tap your shoulder and you held up a finger towards him, indicating that this was not the time to dissect that kiss. 

Charles looked ready to strangle you. And Carlos, but mostly you. “Y/N why are you saying this? Why did you just kiss him?” He gestured to his teammate. “What the fuck is going on? I race today and you think it’s smart to drop all of this on me?”

“Charles, you seem to think that what happens in my life affects yours, more specifically affects what you do on the track and I don’t think that’s the case.” You took a step forward, keeping your voice as calm and reasonable as possible as you said what you should have told him last night. 

“Really, it’s just what you choose to do with the information that you’re given and now you know everything. Now there’s three drivers on the track you might see differently as opposed to one and I know you. I know you’re a strong enough driver, and strong enough mentally, to not let any of this get to you. If you want your emotions to get in the way when you’re in the car, that’s on you. That’s not on me.”

There was definitely an easier way to go about this conversation. You didn’t have to walk in announcing you had sex with his best friend and kissing Carlos probably wasn’t needed, but it all furthered your point.

“My life is intertwined with yours. It has been since I decided to accompany you to all of these races and yes, I will be your biggest supporter but I will also live my own life at the same time,” slowly but surely you could see Charles' shoulders drop as he started to untense. “You can’t blame my feelings for Lando if you have a shitty race, okay? You can’t blame me.”

You started to back up and Carlos stepped out of the way for you.

“Where the hell are you going now?” Charles asked.

“To fix things,” you waved off his concern and practically ran down the stairs and out the front doors of Ferrari.

You were sprinting as you made your way down the paddock. The rain was coming down hard now and your eyes were set on the McLaren motorhome. 

You probably looked insane. Running down the puddle-filled paddock in platform boots without an umbrella but in all honesty, this was probably the best time for a grand gesture. Everyone who worked for the media was finding shelter right now, you were in the clear.

You walked up the steps but someone from the team who had been standing outside under the awning stopped you before you could reach for the door. 

“I’m sorry, Ms. Leclerc, you can’t just go in there, not without an invitation,” he told you, obviously recognising you as being Charles’ sister. It made sense. You were, by association, with Ferrari.

“I need to talk to Lando,” you wiped at your eyes, pushing the wet strands of hair out of your face. You felt around for your phone but came up empty handed, figuring you must have left it back on the couch in Ferrari. “Please, two seconds. That’s all I need. Tell him I need to talk to him.”

He held up a finger and opened the door to head inside. You waited for a second but your clothes were soaking, your hair was sticking to your face and neck. Your make up was ruined and the rain was freezing cold, so obviously you walked inside as well.

A hush fell over the motorhome when the door shut behind you. Mostly because you stood out like a sore thumb. Everyone was wearing orange, you were the only one dressed in all black and you were the only one who looked like they just jumped into a pool with all of their clothes on. 

You smiled awkwardly, shoulders tightening as you pressed your back to the door. You were wondering who was going to say something first, who was going to kick you out, and surprisingly the one who spoke up was Oscar.

“For christ sakes get her a towel or something,” Oscar called out, standing up from the table he sat at. You mouthed a quick thank you to him.

You and Oscar had never exchanged a single word before, maybe a smile here or there, but you were truly appreciative that he acknowledged you as someone who just needed to dry off right now, not as someone who was associated with Ferrari. 

Someone who worked with Hospitality crossed the floor with a few clean dish towels, telling you it was all she had at the moment. You thanked her and then looked up at Oscar who was also making his way to you. 

“Hi,” you breathed out, ringing out your hair. “I know I shouldn’t be here-”

“Oh I don’t mind at all,” Oscar laughed. “I take it you’re here for Lando?”

You didn’t nod. You actually didn’t say anything, your mouth just fell open and you forgot how to breathe when you realised that Lando had most likely told his teammate about you.

“I might be,” you reluctantly answered. “I might also be here because I heard that you guys have the best espresso machine.”

“Espresso is a piss poor reason to venture outside during a storm.”

You chuckled, nodding in agreement as you wiped the cloth under your eyes. The amount of makeup that had transferred to the towel was horrendous. You didn’t even want to know what you looked like right now. 

“Is he-” you glanced towards the staircase behind him. Why was it so hard for you to finish your sentences? Why was Lando clouding every one of your thoughts to the point that you couldn’t get more than a few words out? Why did he affect you so much?

At that moment, the security from earlier started to descend the stairs. Instinctively, you stood closer to Oscar, trying to make it seem as though he was the one who invited you in.

“He’s busy,” was all the McLaren employee said.

“Bullshit he’s busy,” you spat, coming across much harsher than you intended to. “The race is postponed, he’s not doing anything!”

“He told me to tell you he’s busy.”

You looked at Oscar, it was obvious he felt a little awkward standing in the middle of the conversation, but he wanted to help. What was good for his teammate was ultimately good for the team and Oscar so desperately hoped you weren’t here with malicious intent. 

“You can hang out in my driver's room,” he offered, his lips curving upwards into a smile. Oscar turned to the security, “She’s my guest too, it’s fine.”

This employee knew Oscar was lying through his teeth and all three of you knew Oscar’s room was right next to Lando’s. But because you were given the go-ahead from a McLaren driver himself, he couldn’t do anything to prevent you from walking up the stairs, boots squeaking against the floor the entire way. 

Glancing over your shoulder, you shot Oscar a thankful smile and he gave you a thumbs up. Part of you felt horrible for never giving him the time of day before. Subconsciously, you saw him as the driver who replaced Daniel and held a bit of a personal vendetta, but it was clear he had a good heart. 

You waited until the security guard looked away before sneaking around the corner to where Lando’s room was located. You read his name on the plaque a few times and thought about knocking, but if he knew you were outside the door he wouldn’t open it. 

So you turned the handle and pushed the door open. Lando wasn’t even in his racing suit, opting for a pair of joggers and a hoodie as he waited for the race start to be announced. He was leaning against the massage bed and looked up from his phone, barely even acknowledging you before turning right back to his phone.

“I don’t really feel up to chatting right now,” Lando muttered.

“Fine then just listen,” you walked in and shut the door behind you. 

Your heart was pounding and you would have liked to blame your trembling on the fact that you were just standing in the rain but you knew it was because you were finally about to be honest with Lando.

“I think I made a mistake,” you stated. Lando didn’t look up, choosing to disregard your words. You couldn’t blame him. You went from barely being able to look at him a few hours ago to dramatically confessing your feelings. “I didn’t want to admit it before, but Lando I really- I like you.”

“Yeah you like a lot of things,” Lando was unamused as he scratched the side of his face. “You like chocolate cheesecake, you like daisies, you like Daniel’s merch-” he inhaled a sharp breath, still keeping his eyes on his phone. “You like speaking French over Italian, you like supporting the underdogs, you like that you have a presence in the Paddock.” This was taking a turn, “You don’t like driving, you like when someone understands your humour, you like putting your family first even if it means putting yourself last, you love cooking, you have a weird obsession with shitty movies.”

 Finally he looked up.

“You like when people compliment you but you never know how to respond. You like being needed but you don’t like needing someone. You don’t like the unknown which is why a relationship scares you, regardless of who it's with. You like leading me on because you don’t care about the consequences afterwards and I fall for every word you say, every hypothetical you tease, because I think that maybe this time, it’ll be different, and do you want to know why I know all of this? Why I've put up with all of it?” 

This seemed like a rhetorical question but you responded meekly anyway, “Why?”

Lando paused. He pushed himself away from the bench and walked towards you slowly. His jaw tightened, there was no trace of a smile. Even if what he had to say was good in nature, it was only going to destroy you. 

“Because I like you,” he said, sounding so sure of himself and simultaneously like he wanted to take back those words the second he said them. “But I’m not about to waste my time at this halfway point with you. There’s a line here and I’m willing to cross it, to meet you so far past the middle it to make this work, but I don’t think you can say the same. So until you decide, fully and completely, what you want…stop stringing me along.”

Lando had never been so serious before.

Your entire friendship, relationship, whatever the fuck you wanted to call it, was playful and fun and he was the reason why your jaw hurt from laughing. He was the person who wanted to take care of you, to make you smile and now he was so close to giving up on all of that, all because you were going to put Charles first.

You genuinely couldn’t blame him. You had been back and forth for weeks. It may not have clicked until now, but you had been leading him on. He had done so much for you and practically overnight, you were nearly ready to forget all of it.

There was a knock on the door. Neither of you made the move to answer it, instead letting whoever was on the other side inform Lando through the wall that it was time to change and head down to the garage. 

He was waiting for you to say something. He was waiting for you to tell him that you wanted him. And you knew you did, but why couldn’t you open your mouth? Why did your fears outweigh what was right in front of you? Why was it still so hard to let yourself be happy with Lando?

Lando nodded, accepting once again that no answer was probably better than the answer he didn’t want to hear. He gestured towards the handle of the door. Without saying a word, he was politely asking you to leave. 

And because you still couldn’t say anything, because you couldn’t meet him halfway, you left. You stepped out in the hallway, avoiding the eyes of nearby McLaren employees as you walked down the stairs. You passed Oscar before reaching the front doors and he gave you a hopeful look, curious if all was worked out between you and his teammate. 

You shook your head, still unable to find your voice. 

When you stepped outside, it was still raining but it had eased up. It was a light drizzle compared to the storm you ran through earlier. 

By the time you made it back to Ferrari, most people had already left to go to the pitlane and the garage.

An exception to that was Charles.

“Don’t,” you demanded. You didn’t want to hear anything from him, but he was clearly waiting for you. He didn’t comment on your rung out appearance or your smeared makeup. It wasn’t his place to, anyway. He just stood up and walked over to you, zipping up his racing suit in the process.

“I stand by what I said,” Charles declared and all you could do was roll your eyes as he continued. “You shouldn’t put your happiness in a driver.”

“And what if I already did?” You retorted, quite loudly. “What if I already did and I didn’t realise it until it was too late and now- and now I have nothing? What if I’m worse off now than I was before?”

For a split second, you could see it in his features. Charles was conflicted too. 

There was Formula 1 driver Charles Leclerc. The man fighting for championship winning points. The guy who risked his life every time he stepped into the cockpit of the car.

And then there was your older brother. The one who hated that he was the one who put you in this situation. Your brother, the one who said he wanted to keep you safe, was the sole reason there was a sense of vulnerability and emptiness looming over you. 

You didn’t feel those things because you had feelings for Lando. You felt those things because Charles made you feel guilty for supporting someone other than him. 

And even after everything, after you came to the realisation that you wanted Lando, after you dropped a bombshell on your brother, after you ran across the paddock for some stupid grand gesture, where did you find yourself?

Standing in front of Charles.

No wonder Lando had his doubts with you.

“I can’t be here,” you admitted, your chest feeling tight once again. “I can’t watch the race, I’m sorry.”

For once, Charles wasn’t going to stand in your way. He had done enough damage.

“Take the plane back to Monaco if you want, there’s a car that will take you the airport-”

“No, I’m not going to Monaco,” you shook your head. Monaco was the last place you wanted to go. You didn’t want to walk into your empty flat. There was nothing for you there.

There was nothing for you here either. You couldn't stand to look at Charles. Lando wasn't going to talk to you until you figured out what your intentions were but you couldn't figure it out if you were watching a race. You needed to leave.

And you needed to go to the one place that actually felt like home.

masterlist here

taglist: @moneymasnn@thotd-f1 @masonspulisic @mcmuppet@f1-futurewag-16-3-4-63 @alilstressyandlotdepressy @themisric @happydazzz123 @moonxblossom @norrisleclercf1 @scarlettisconfused @sbgal @e-lisa-bettan @harrysdimple05 @ophcelia @alesainz @fandomxs1 @majx00 @sbgal @mehrmonga @themockingjayreader @f1mockingjay @topguncultleader if i missed anyone im so sorry

[bruhnze]

Apple tarts and tiramisu - part 3 - Lucy Bronze x reader

Other parts: part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4

Lucy Bronze x Barista!reader

Summary: this story takes place in 2022, when Lucy just moved to Barcelona, ​​all fictional of course.

SMUT - MINORS DNI

Wordcount: 3k? Maybe a bit over that .. warning, i didn't proofread..

Apple tarts and tiramisu 3

You dropped besides her on the bed out of breath and laid on your back panting.

"You are so good in bed" Lucy said after a bit "you probably won't believe me but usually others can't really make me cum"

You laughed because not only did you make her come multiple times in the past couple of hours, yesterday you had also made her come twice and that happend pretty quickly if you remembered it right "yeah right, you dont have to try to make me feel good, i already do" you chuckled.

Lucy rolled her eyes "i told you you wouldn't believe me, but now your even laughing at me ouch" she put her hand on her chest and faked being offended.

You climbed on top of her "aw sorry did i hurt your feelings" you sarcasticly said "Do i have to make up for it with another orgasm?" You traced you fingertips at certain parts of Lucy's body, resulting in the exact reaction from her body you had hoped "see, we just did all that and you still can't get enough" you came closer to her ear and wispered "if anything, i think your easy".

Lucy's jaw dropped open, she was usually, almost always, the one who would take the lead in the bedroom with her previous partners.

Lucy couldn't believe what you did and how much effect it had on her.

You broke the tension "but sadly im totally done for" you sighed and stepped out off the bed "shall we take a shower?"

She looked at you confused and with refueld desire "are you just gonna- now you want too-

You smirked and then joked "yeah im not an athlete like you,.. i should probably work on my stamina"

She groaned "sure you dont want to come back to the bed for a minute"

"Lucy," you laughed "if i lay down one more second i am a thousand percent sure i will fall asleep"

"Okay" she sighed "lets take a shower then".

////

The following days were quite busy for Lucy, she wouldn't be free until next sunday. You had asked her if she usually only had an off-day on sundays.

''Hmm, yeah i guess, sunday is supposed to be my rest day, because it's usually the day after the match, so then i shouldn't do too much, saturday's before games are also free time, but then i have to be even more carefull. But my scedule is very versatile, so i just try to live day-to-day really. I look at my agenda weekly and keep it at that''. Had her answer been.

You had a lot of respect for her, you knew she loved football but it was truly a life dedication to play for Barca, you imagined the pay would be quite good but you didn't know if you would trade your own simplistic for such a hectic one.

You thought about how things would be if you and Lucy would get together as a couple one day and daydreamed about it during your whole monday shift.

Lucy had told you she had a busy day that monday and besides that, you weren't sure if she would get her matcha at your coffee shop still after the weekend you had. You didn't know why you had the thought because the two of you had basicaly been texting ever since you left her house that night until she, and you, had to go to sleep. That morning you had recieved a goodmorning text and you had send one back, you had already opened the shop. When she send a picture of her brushing her teeth, you send her one back of you preperaring the coffee machine, deserving a ''cute x'' You didn't know what to reply so you had just replied ''no you x'' After that it had been quiet, resulting in you daydreaming the whole shift.

Around noon your phone buzzed again, for the umpteenth time this day you quickly checked if it was Lucy. Normaly your phone was on silent when you worked, but today you were so eager to recieve another text from the woman that had taken over your thoughts that you had left it on vibration mode.

You smiled, your lockscreen said 'Lucy apple tart send an image , unlock to see.'

You opened it and saw a selfie of her with a sweaty face on some kind of massage table.

@Lucy apple tart: still think im cute 🙃?

@y/n: yes but what are you doing, getting massages?

@y/n: thought you had training 😂

@Lucy apple tart: just done training, and this is physio btw not massages

@Lucy apple tart: although we get those too sometimes, but thats more a recovery thing

@y/n: ah, got it, when is your next game?

@Lucy apple tart: saturday why

@y/n: you have to recover after that right

@Lucy apple tart: yup

@y/n: need a masseur?

@Lucy apple tart: 👀

@y/n: 👀

@Lucy apple tart: its a nearby away game which means i will be back v late 😔

@y/n: ah and sleep is the most important recovery!

@Lucy apple tart: wise and pretty you are!

@y/n: thats just me quoting my PE teacher friend, she's quite a serious gym girl haha

@Lucy apple tart: the one u took to the game?

@y/n: yes shes my bestfriend

@Lucy apple tart: can i meet her sometimes? she sounds v nice

@y/n: bet she would love that

@Lucy apple tart: cool

@Lucy apple tart: if you want it could be at the game saturday?

@y/n: maybe a bit too public no?

@Lucy apple tart: GIF

@y/n: sticker

@y/n: cant be seen in public with u

@Lucy apple tart: 😂😂

@y/n: but fr?

@Lucy apple tart: love that you care and take my side in to perspective x

@Lucy apple tart: but ill fix tickets thatll get you access to the lounge before and after the game, we wont be there before the game but after we will, and then i could meet her?

@y/n: really

@Lucy apple tart: yeah im excited to meet your friend, usually that comes before the parents right

@y/n: lol u already met my mom tho

@Lucy apple tart: 😳

@y/n: well (yfs/n) will be v excited

@Lucy apple tart: im too!

You took a screenshot of the conversation to send to your bestfriend to tell her that she had been invited.

You wrote ''Espero que encara sigueu lliure, vau ser convidat per la mateixa senyoreta abs xx'' (hope your free, you were invited by miss abs herself xx) send her the screenshot.

One second later you realised you had send it back to Lucy.

@y/n: fuck

@y/n: wait dont translate pls

@y/n: just wanted to send yfs/n that she should keep her saturday empty

@Lucy apple tart: 😂😂😂😂Lucy apple tart

@y/n: omg

@y/n: didnt even remember that i had put that as your name

@y/n: 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

@Lucy apple tart: senyoreta abs 👀

@y/n: nooo abs is something else in catalan

@Lucy apple tart: what does it mean then?

@y/n: it means absolutely :)

@Lucy apple tart: ah okay!

..you texted your friend the screenshot and one of this part of the conversation..

@y/n: my excuse was terrible wasnt it

@Lucy apple tart:😂

@y/n: sry for objectifying you 😔

@Lucy apple tart: nah you give the best nicknames lmao

@y/n: really?

@Lucy apple tart: yh i cant pick if i like guapa or senorita abs best

@y/n: senyoreta abs

@Lucy apple tart: 😂 okay that ll be it then

@y/n: no you wrote spanish dummy

@Lucy apple tart: oop, senyoreta abs*

@y/n: good

@Lucy apple tart: good girl?

@y/n: now your pushing it apple tart!

@Lucy apple tart: sticker

@y/n: Sticker

@Lucy apple tart: ah shit gtg

@Lucy apple tart: ttyl pretty girl

@y/n: sticker

////

''I love this for you'' your friend said to you as you were sitting in the car driving to the stadium one town away ''and that you sent her the screenshot omg, so funny''.

''i felt so dumb omg'' you replied in Catalan ''but luckily she passed all the tests, she's not stuck up at all'.

Your friend quirked an eyebrow ''all the tests?''

''yeah, the putellas shirt? and now this too, she didn't even tease me about it'' you said.

''Maybe she's saving that'' your friend grinned.

You had told her to very detail about your experiences in bed with the dark-haired defender. The two of you always shared everything, eventhough her story's would be about men and yours about women.

''Stop it!'' you kept one hand on the steering wheel and with the other you poked her side ''and you will not say anything embarrasing about me later''.

''i wont y/n'' your friend said truthfully, but jokingly added ''i love getting to watch these games from the stands, im not going to take risks and end up behind the TV again''.

''good keep thinking about that'' you said.

''you aren't nervous are you?'' she asked

'' a little bit maybe, but i dont really know why, just healthy nerves i guess'' you stared at the road.

''hm, well im there to hold your hand'' she said and rubbed your arm affirmatively.

''Thank you''

..

''by the way, i wanted to pick up going to the gym a bit more if you still wanted me to come with? '' you asked.

''ugh i hate the fact that i know your motivation is sex but i love that you finally want to come so ill take it'' your friend groaned.

''what?''

''nah dont play stupid, you told me yourself that you lacked stamina to keep up with her''.

''Sorry sometimes i forget we share too much with eachother'' you groaned back

''nuh uh no such thing as oversharing'' her smile came back ''i love hearing about your life and i love oversharing mine''

''yeah true that, how did that date go anyways?''

''thuesday?''

''yeah''.

////

It was after the game. Your friend and you had watched Barca beat Girona FC with 1-4. It had been a scary start, as Girona had been 1-0 ahead, but overall Barca had been the better party.

''Here'' your friend handed you a drink ''got it from there'' she pointed at a bar in the corner.

There were quite a few people hanging around in the lounge. You saw your friend observing everyone ''recognise annyone?''

Your friend laughed ''yeah it's funny, i see some family members of the players'' she nodded in a direction ''i believe that is Olga, she's Putellas girl''.

''How do you know?''

''Instagram'' she replied ''honestly i cant believe how bad you're living under a rock, even now, i would've been searching the whole internet if my girlfriend was famous, you have-

''she's not my girlfriend'' you hissed as your cheeks got flushed.

''oh sorry'' your friend smirked but when she saw your face she said ''ill behave''.

''Good, corazón de melón''

Your friend cringed, she hated when you used that nickname. But when she looked over your shoulder her face came back to a smile ''if that isn't senyoreta abs''.

You turned around shamefully quick and saw a few Barca players entering the lounge, freshly showered and dressed in a tracksuit.

You turned back to your friend wanting to ask were, but when you saw a stupid grinn on her face you know she had fooled you.

''ahhh you shouldve seen how quickly you turned'' she burst out laughing.

''Something funny?'' you heard a farmilliar face.

This time you turned around more slowely ''Lucy?''

''heyy you remembered my name'' Lucy said as she walked over to the two of you and gave you a hug.

''well this is yfs/n'' you looked over to your friend ''yfs/n this is Lucy''.

''yep i knew'' your friend said unusually shy.

You chuckled ''where did your big mouth go, it's just lucy''.

Lucy became also a bit shy ''hey yfs/n heard so many good things about you., can i hug you?''

''yeah ofcourse'' your friend said enthousiasticly.

The three of you chatted for a while and when the players left the room one by one , Lucy was the only player left in the lounge.

When your friend and Lucy talked about a subject you didn't really care for, sports, you're eyes wandered around the room.

''eh Luce, dont want to be a buzz kill but your mates have left''

''Oh shit'' Lucy said ''thanks, should probably get running, dont want to miss the bus''.

She dapped your friend up, which made you frown, but then gave you a hug. ''bye pretty girl'' she wispered in you ear.

As she walked off you said ''bye apple tarts'' but you doubted she heared it.

////

You were back in your apartment, you had dropped of your friend at hers and was now walking to your bed, dieing for something more comfy to wear.

Your phone rang, it was Lucy.

''Hey'' Lucy said carefully.

''what's up'' you said as you had the phone between your ear and shoulder pulling of your pants and socks.

''Hello to you too'' lucy laughed ''wanted to ask if you got home safe''

''sorry'' you laughed back ''im multitasking, but yes im at home''

''oh what are you doing?'' She asked sincere, truely curious what you were up too.

You snickered ''well if you need to know, im getting undressed''

''oh, really'' she said cheeky

Your phone buzzed and you took it in your hand to look.

*FaceTime request from Lucy apple tarts*

''ohh nooo apple tarts, cheeky bastard'' you laughed.

''ugh, worth a try'' she pouted true the phone.

''If you really want a peek you'd have to come here'' you teased

''Well,.. i guess i still have that offer for a massage to take you up on'' she said.

In the same tone she used you replied ''yeah i guess you do, you should probably cash that, never know when it will expire''.

////

You had taken out oil from somewhere and lit a candle, on the bed you had placed two folded towels and a white bathrobe.

''hello'' you called true the intercom as Lucy had buzzed it.

In the time it had took her to come to you, which had been suprisingly little, you had put on some lingerie and on top of that a oversized shirt.

''y/n'' she said as you opened the door.

''hey Luce-'' you said with a dopey smile.

''what? were are you smiling at?'' She asked and looked at her sweater, thinking she had maybe spilled something.

''No silly'' you stepped into her space ''happy i can finally kiss you again''.

''hmm'' lucy said as she came closer to your mouth with her own ''yeah finally indeed''.

...

''wow, you have prepared'' Lucy smiled

''yeah, you can wear the robe i guess, i have to admitt i dont realllyy know what im doing''.

''hm'', Lucy grinned ''well im with you, i only know sportsmassages and than im in my kit'', ''or underwear''.

You looked at her with a raised eyebrow ''underwear''

''yeah you know, sportsbra'' she lifted her shirt a bit and pointed at her briefs ''boxers''.

''ohhhh underwear'' you sarcasticly replied ''okay so, underwear? or i could put those towels over you''.

''mkay'' Lucy grinned ''if you insist, i wouldn't have minded to be bare''.

''well we haven't started yet, you could-

''no ill take that towel'' she smirked ''for over my butt''.

...

you had spent a fair time kneeding Lucy's back muscles and shoulders and was now busy on her hamstrings.

''very thight'' you said, not realising how dirty that sounded.

Lucy hadn't picked up on it either and groaned ''yeah especially that left one''

You moved to her left.

''ah yeah, there'' ''uhg, a litte more le- ahrggghh yeah like that'''.

The sounds Lucy made and the words she grunted had you blushing.

You went to her calves for a bit before retrieving back to her hamstrings creeping up slowely but surely. Your hands were already pretty far under the towel, but the towel had been so big that when you had folded it double, it still covered way to much area for your liking.

''i think i have to get the towel out of the way'' you say ''cant reach your gluteus maximus''.

Lucy laughed into the bed ''if you want to touch my butt just ask''.

''no'' you stayed in your role ''this is a sportsmassage, cant ignore the largest muscle of the body, can i''.

''Calling my ass fat'' she snickered

''You think its funny?''' You said smugly and experimentally gave a little smack to her butt.

'Agh' a moan escaped her throath.

You massaged her ass, grabbing hands full and kneeded it. Before you tracked back to her muscles, continuing the 'sports' massage.

You didnt know if you saw it right, but you thought you saw her lifting her butt just a bit from the bed.

You stood up. "Turn around?" You asked.

She groaned bit turned around, she didn't bother trying to cover up anymore. Leaving the towel where you had dropped it next to her on the bed.

You shamelessly let your eyes roam her body.

Lucy squirmed under your gaze and reached out to one of your hands and placed it on her body.

"tan bonic" (so beautiful) you said softly almost wispering it.

You traced over her abdomen, feeling the buldging muscles below her skin.

Lucy's nipples hardened, and she grabbed her boobs with her own hands.

"Ey, atura ho" you said with an husk voice "i thought i was giving you the massage".

"O" lucy retracted her hands and laid them back besides her.

The way she obeyed you turned you on increddibly.

You climbed on top of her, sitting on hip height of her body, feeling your pulsating heat press into her body.

You want to reach forward to cup her breasts but the long t-shirt that you wore was caught between your bodies, restricting your movement.

With your knees on either side of Lucy you sit up a bit and pull of the shirt. Leaving you in just your underwear but still more dressed than Lucy is.

"Best massage ever" lucy grinned " a masseuse that takes of her shirt"

"It got in my way" you said a you palmed her chest.

"Im not complaining" she said.

When you took her nipples between your fingers she closed her eyes.

You leaned down to kiss her neck. Making you grind on her a little wich make you realise how wet you were.

Her hands found your hips and encouraged your movement.

You sat up a little bit more searching for the angle that worked best for you.

Lucy looked you in your eyes, you recougnised lust in her eyes.

"Tell me" you pant, slowing your movement "what's your happy ending?"

She tried to read your face, not completely understanding you or wanting to make sure she understanded you correctly.

"Anyting" you wispered ensuring "celebrate the win with me?"

She gulped and sat straight up, your upperbodies were now almost touching as you sat on her lap.

"Are you sure?" She asked.

"Mhm" you grinned "i can see in your eyes you need something"

Luxy pulled you in for a kiss and turned the two of you so that she was now on top of you.

"I brought something" she wispered "wait for me"

You laughed "no i wont go anywere i promise" after all you were laying in your own bed, you wouldnt even know were to go.

You blew out the candle that you saw was still burning, thinking it was hot enough in the room. And made yourself comfortable.

You realised how late it actually was and thought about the fact that you didnt feel sleepy at all.

If anything you felt adrenaline, curious about the thing Lucy had brought.

You didnt have to wait for an awnser long because Lucy stepped back into the room.

You saw her wearing a strap-on, with a black harness.

Lucy looked at you waiting for a respons.

When she didnt move, you stood up from the bed and walked her way.

You gave her a little kiss on her bottom lip and then went to her cheek.

"Hey" you said in her ear and turned to kiss her neck. You felt her shiver below your tender kisses.

"Hey" lucy said back "what do you think?" She asked carefully.

"I think your hot" you said softly biting her skin "and maybe you should carrie me to the bed" you hand felt up her stomach and went to her bicep.

Lucy smiled "you ike me muscles pretty girl?"

Her voice was low and she sounded more english, you took it as a sign that she was just as turned on as you.

She grabbed your ass and effortlessly lifted you up. You sat against the thick plastic item attached to Lucy.

You groaned, the 'massage' you had given lucy and the grinding on Lucy had already worked you up so much that you were sure you didnt need much to come undone.

Lucy turned around before the bed and sat down with you on her lap.

The two of you became entangled in a heavy make out session.

She was such a good kisser, you lost yourself in the kiss and your hips moved on their own.

She broke away from the kiss, placing a few more on your lips.

"Want to ride me?"

"Mhmm yeah" you moaned out, imagening feeling her inside already.

You stepped of her lap and quickly took of the pieces you were still wearing.

Lucy scootched back on the bed. Leaning her back against the headboard.

She looked at you with a glistering in her eyes. "la chica mas bonita" (the prettiest)

You smiled and got back on the bed, taking place on her thighs.

"cant wait to have you on my cock" Lucy said as she rubbed your upper thighs and hips.

You looked at her with wide eyes, not expecting those words.

"sorry, too much?

You didnt answer but kissed her. She returned the same energy but let yku lead the kiss.

When you broke the kiss you wispered " want to feel you inside me luce"

She guided you on to her strap, you lowered yourself carefully.

You closed your eyes and your hands found Lucy's abdomen to stabilise yourself.

She replaced her hands so they were a bit more on your ass rather then your hips and leaned in to kiss your neck.

The movement with her inside you set a low moan free from your throath.

She kissed your neck softly.

Once you had adjusted to the object that was within you, you began to move slowly.

"Lucy you feel so good" you said grinding down on her.

She kneeded your ass and sat up straighter, you removed your arma from inbetween the two of you to around her. Pulling her even more close to you.

Her mouth working you neck, her hands on your butt and her body coliding with yours in many places by the intimit embrace you shared all took part in the uncontrolable high you experienced.

You cried out Lucy's name and digged you nails in her back as you rutted up and down her dick a few more strokes before collapsing against her.

Her fingers traced your back and then went to wipe some strands of hair out of your face "that was amazing" she said with a scrill voice.

"Hmm" you nodded against her neck "you feel amazing, show me how good you can make me feel?"

"now?"

"Mhmm" you groaned "i want you lucy"

-----

That concludes part 3 😳 hope you liked it

more parts

[thebestpumkin]

- title - happy birthday, katsuki!

- pairing - katsuki bakugo x reader

- word count - 683

- summary - it's your boyfriend's birthday!

- tw - reader is referred to as dollface, food mentions, reader refers to bakugo as handsome, lmk if there are any to add!

- other notes - established relationship, birthday things, this is set once the students are in the dorms, im pushing my soft bakugo agenda sorry guys

- a/n at the bottom!

He's getting ready for his morning run when he hears three tentative knocks at his door.

He's surprised someone else is up so early on a Saturday. He takes a glance at the clock resting on his nightstand - 6:43 AM. He always went out for his run at 6:45 to make it back at 7, at least on weekends - of course, everything was pushed an hour back on weekdays so he'd have time to get ready. He furrows his brows but opens the door regardless.

As soon as Katsuki Bakugo sees you, he softens.

"Dollface?" He whispered. It was always sweet how he tried not to use his regular volume with you. He always tried to sound soft. "What are you doing...here...?" His eyes drifted downwards to where you had your hands held up in offering. Offering him...a cake. His gaze snapped back up to meet your eyes, only to find you looking away bashfully. He smiled and stepped aside so you could come in.

You set the cake down on his desk and sat down on the edge of his bed while he closed the door quietly behind you. He joined you where you sat. "What's all this for, huh? D'you realize how early it is?" He's just teasing you now. You smile and nod. "For your birthday, handsome. Happy birthday, Katsuki." He nearly melted at just how sweet you are. You'd been the first to text him at midnight, and now here you were, getting up far earlier than usual on a weekend to be the first to celebrate. He didn't know what he did to have you, but he certainly wasn't complaining. "You make it for me?" He spoke, nodding at the cake standing proudly on his desk. You nodded and he swore he just wanted to kiss you silly right there.

"It's early," He comments again. "Don't you usually get up way later on weekends?" You just shrug. "When did you have time to make the cake? We all had dinner together last night..." You beamed up at him. "After dinner. Way after. After we all finished cleaning up and everyone was back in their rooms, I got started. Ah, right, I got you a few things, but I couldn't carry them and the cake at the same time. They're in my room, if you want me to go get them?" He shakes his head. "Get them later. Stay with me a while, yeah?" He couldn't care less that he was supposed to be on a run right now. This was more important. You were more important, schedule be damned.

"You want some cake?" You offer. "Later. 'M not too hungry now. How about we go out for breakfast n' come back to eat some?" You raise your brows. "You aren't gonna offer any for our class?" He scoffs, looking incredulous. "Huh? It's my birthday, isn't it? Not theirs. I don't wanna share with those damn nerds. You made it for me. Not them." He explains, sounding like he wasn't gonna take any argument against it. You sigh resignedly, having already expected this; you made a second cake for the rest of the class to share, stored in the fridge.

A few beats of silence passed before he scooped you into his arms swiftly. He ignored your attempts to stifle your laughter and pleads to be let down. He knew you didn't mean it. He chuckled and pressed a kiss to your cheek. "I have an idea. You give me a kiss for every birthday you've missed until now." He smirked. "And you stay the morning with me. That'll be enough of a gift." "But I spent good money on them!" You protested with a laugh. He shook his head playfully and brought you down to lay in his bed with him. He decided you putting your head on his chest and relaxing in his arms was the ideal birthday celebration. He decided that ending up falling asleep together before breakfast was a gift. He decided you were a gift. You just had to be.

pumkin speaks: idk abt the ending but i didnt exactly know what else to do...but hey! i wrote a something! i deserve a pat on the back frfr. i wrote this kinda quick yesterday after i realized today was his birthday so yeah. also yes im still working on getting an idea for that chuuya fic and starting the yuji fic 😭 itll be done eventually...anyways though, happy birthday bakugo‼️‼️ thats kind of all i have soo...bye!

likes, reblogs, requests, and feedback are vv appreciated! divider credits go to r0se-designs. thanks for reading, have a nice day!

[s-4pphics]

scent of the pine. 5 (e.w)

*takes off grad cap* alright . here we go. 

wc;cw: 17.1k everybody died, sistersbestfriend!ellie, guitarist/producer!ellie, violinist!oc, age gap(three years), all ocs r blackcoded, SMUT!! MDNI!!!, phone sex, masturbation, mean ellie, weed alcohol nics yall know wassup, dubcon, virginity loss, masochism LOL, light bondage, dirty talk, ASSSPLAAAYYY😝, dp, mult. orgasms, subspace and drop, squirting, slapping(face ass tits pussy lol), toys, slight angst but also fluff, just lots of spit n cum

You’ve been very gloomy these past couple of months. 

You hadn’t stopped thinking about Ellie since you left her home that morning, up until you and Arya jumped on the train to return to campus. 

You’d never be able to express to Arya how much you appreciated her presence: she allowed you to cry, whine, pout, and sniffle about how much you missed Ellie, and she comforted you through all of it with gentle whispers of you’re gonna be fine, bitch! you’re gonna get piped down soon! I promise! Although you felt a bit selfish dumping your girl problems on her, she never made you feel guilty and justified that you always listened to her ramble about her hook-ups and high rambles. The only time she’d ever complained about anything related to your sorrowful monologues about missing Ellie’s laugh and smile and tongue was when you two had to work on your Music & Production Theory assignment (I’m gonna kill you if we fail and you’ll die dickless! Don’t play with me!). 

…But other than that, she’s been so sweet!

Ellie has also been keeping in touch ever since you left. She sent you snaps of Duchess zooming around the house, her meals for the day, and three-second voice memos of her new project she was working on. You knew that she’d been flying back and forth to California and had a packed schedule with her producer friends whenever she was there, but your heart couldn’t help but turn gray when you wouldn’t hear from her for a few days. 

Now it's March, and you and Arya are sitting on the floor as you glared searing holes into your phone. Ellie sent you a text when you were in class earlier saying that she missed your voice and was going to call you the second she had the opportunity. And you weren’t going to miss it. Ellie was worth wasting your Saturday night on! 

“I’m not gonna lie girl,” Arya's voice cut through your intense phone-staring. “I’ve definitely had my dickmatized moments but you’re kinda crazy.” 

You looked up at Arya as she carefully packed her blunt to get ready for her smoke sesh with her friends, concerned look on her face. It made you frown. 

“What, why? What’d I do?” You asked with your brows pulled down. 

And before you could hear her answer, you got a notification. You nearly snapped your wrists at the speed your hands flew to grab your phone to see if it was Ellie, your eyes bulging at your screen, only to see that your sister snapped you. You sighed in slight disappointment before opening it. 

You ignored Arya’s snickering. 

Your sister sent you a picture of her with hairspray and a lighter in her hand with a caption IM MOVING TF OUT I CANT TAKE THIS SHIT NO MORE BUGS R EVERYWHERE WHAT IN THE FUCK.

You couldn’t hold in your laugh as you snapped her back before Arya stood and went to the bathroom with a change of clothes in hand. 

You heard the shower turn on as you got up and onto your bed to mindlessly scroll through Twitter. 

After ten minutes of scrolling through a Best Euphoria Character breakdown thread, you got a text from Ellie, and you nearly squealed in excitement. 

hiiii im sorry i havent been able to b on my phone like that :( been super busy with this sample

i just wanted 2 let u know that i might have 2 call u another time we still have a bunch of layering to do for this track n we’re on a timer. i miss u so fucking bad 

You couldn’t ignore the sadness in your chest, but you texted back understandingly anyway. 

it’s ok :( i miss u too. miss ur voice :( 

Her reply bubble immediately popped up. 

i know baby fuckkkk i miss ur voice so fucking bad im ab to start asking 4 daily voice memos 🤨

You smiled at your screen so wide. 

LOOOOOOOL ur annoying 

You typed and sent a follow up before she could. 

go back 2 work 🥰🥰

kiss :( 

mwah 

mwah mwah mwah

You put your phone on your chest, and you couldn’t stop the smile that grew on your face. She made you so, so happy. 

The bathroom door opened, steam from the warm water exiting the room along with a towel-clad Arya. 

“What you cheesin’ so hard for, girl?” She said as she grabbed her edge control off her desk. 

“Nothin’,” you said with a dreamy sigh as you stared off past her. 

“…Uh huh, I’m heading out soon, I’ll be back late tonight, so don’t wait up.” She said with a smirk. 

“Don’t forget to send me your location,” you reminded her. 

She let out a quick course, baby before she went back into the bathroom. 

You went back to scrolling through Twitter until your eyelids got heavy. A comfortably dressed Arya—she’s definitely getting some— kissed your forehead and dimmed your dorm lights before she left, and you dozed off. 

You jolted awake as Rotation blasted in your ears. You drowsily picked your phone up and saw a el:3🌲 and 2:34AM across your home screen. 

You perked up immediately to answer, sitting up so fast that you went lightheaded for a second. 

“Hello?” 

“Hi, you,” Ellie’s light voice rang through the phone. “Were you sleep? M’sorry, we can talk la— “

“No! No, I’m up, I was just napping, hi,” you said as you grinned softly at her laugh, laying on your back. “You’re up late. Did you guys finish?” 

“No, but we were exhausted, so we called off for the night. And one of my partners kept rambling about this girl he needed to call, so,” Her voice was already making you squirm. Thank god she couldn’t see you. “But I wanted to talk to you, couldn’t help myself.” 

“Oh my god, you’re so obsessed, damn,” you said with a giggle. 

“Fuuuuck yeah, sooo obsessed, need to drink your bath water, shit, I think I’m dying!” she said in an overly desperate, dried out tone, making you laugh harder. 

Both of your laughs calmed down before she started talking, “I’ve been meaning to ask you something.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Umm…” She sounded a bit nervous, and it instantly made you antsy. “I know you’re not gonna be back for a couple weeks or whatever, but I just… like I was gonna ask if you wanted to do something, like just the two of us…” 

And a sly grin grew on your face. “Ellie… are you asking me out, right now?” 

The other line was silent as you heard her move around and sigh before she spoke. “…This was literally the worst way to ask a girl out, fuck, m’sorry— “

You cut through her jittery rambles. “Ellie, stop apologizing! That’s so cute! Of course, I’ll go out with you!” 

You heard her release a deep breath as she said, “Fuck, thank god, holy shit, I was so nervous. It’s been so long since I’ve done that. Almost shoved my vape down my throat.” 

You laughed as your heart beat quickened. “You really gonna wine and dine me when I come home? We’re that serious?” 

“Ohhh, we're that serious, you're eating nothing but lobster and pasta when I see you, swear to god.” 

You snorted at her, “Okay, sugar daddy, get me a new car while you're at it. With insurance.” 

“Anything you want, baby.” She said with a sleazy laugh. 

You hummed at her offer in attempts to mask the pounding of your heart, but she mocked you, humming back at you in a higher tone. 

“Shut up! I’m just thinking!” 

“Oh, yeah? About what?” 

You suddenly felt shy as her voice lowered. It was so much deeper. “Just… just you, I guess, I dunno, miss you.” 

You heard her shuffle again before she asked softly, a smirk evident in her tone, “You miss me?”

You let out a quiet, but eager mhm! as your tummy swirled with want. 

You listened to her gentle breathing before she asked, “Your roomie home?” 

And your heartbeat picked up, your eyes fluttering as your blinking slowed. 

“N-no, she’s gone.” 

“Then lay down for me, baby.” 

You instantly fell on your back, your scarfed head hitting your silk pillows. Your face was boiling hot, “I am.” 

“You sound nervous, you good?” she asked you gently. 

“M’great, just… yeah, I’m okay, want you to keep talking.” 

“Stop me whenever, you understand?” Her tone was much more serious, and it made your thighs clench, your boyshorts growing wetter. 

You whined out a uhhuh!, but she corrected you immediately, “Say you understand.” 

“I understand! I get it, El!” Fuck, you wished she were here to touch you. To scold you in person. 

You heard giggling and more shuffling around through the speaker, “You gotta shirt on?” 

“Mhm.” 

She chuckled lightly, “Take it off, take off everything while you're at it.” 

Your heartbeat spiked, “But Arya might come back.” 

“That’s why you have a blanket, honey.” 

…Fair. 

You quickly set your phone on your pillow, reaching for the hem of your shirt, lifting it up to pull it over your head, tossing it to the floor. You arched your ass up to pull your boyshorts off and kicked them to the foot of your bed. You reached for your phone again. 

“Okay, m’ready now.” 

“Such a cutie,” she cooed at you. You could hear the grin through her words. “Gonna make you cum so hard the second I get my hands on you.” 

You whimpered into the speaker as your walls squeezed. Fuck, fuckfuck. 

“You make me go fuckin’ crazy, can’t stop thinking about you.” 

“M-me, too.” 

“Yeah? What d’you think about?” 

Say it! your brain yelled at you. She already knows you’re a slut, just say what you want! 

“...Umm…” 

“Talk to me, baby, about anything you want.” 

You gulped, heart pounding in your ears, “Your… your hands? They’re… really nice.” 

“Yeah? What about ‘em is nice?” 

“Ellie…” 

“Like when they touch you all over, when they hold you down?” 

“Yes,” you barely whispered as your free hand traveled down your body. Not touching anywhere specifically, just roaming. 

“Know you do, they get you so fuckin’ hot,” She breathed through the line. “Wanna touch yourself?” 

“Yeah, w’na so bad.” 

“Say please.” 

“Ellieee— “ 

She cut off your embarrassed whines with a nastily casual tone, “I'll hang up right now. Ask nicely.” 

You balled your traveling hand up in a fist as you pleaded with an upset pout, “Please, Ellie.” 

“Please what.” 

“… Please help me?” 

“….”

“C’mon Ellie! Please make me cum! I wanna cum!” 

Her condescending laugh pierced through your ears, “Touch those pretty fuckin’ tits since I didn’t get to before you left.” 

You moaned out as your pointer finger and thumb rolled your stiffened nipple as you squirmed. 

“They’re so fucking sensitive, got my sheets so wet when I played with ‘em. Wan’em in my mouth again, shit.” 

You pulled at your other nipple, and you let out a moan into the speaker. 

“You’re so fucking beautiful, miss you so fucking bad.” 

“Miss you so much, Ellie, can’t wait t’see you.” You cried out quietly. Your pussy was clenching with need. 

“Touch your pussy, babygirl, rub your clit. Get it nice and wet f’me.” 

You followed her instructions at a lightning speed, spreading your legs wider and reaching your hand all the way down to bring your slick to your clit. Your breathing picked up as you slowly rubbed it into your bud, hips jerking. 

“Tell me how wet it is,” you could hear how shaky her voice was getting, breathing labored. She was touching herself to you touching yourself, and it was making you wetter. It made you burn. It made you want to get her there. 

“M’really wet, El,” you mewled out to her, trying to ignore your bashfulness. 

“Yeah? S’dripping on your bed like it did on mine?” 

“Shit, yes, I feel it.” 

“Fuuuck, bet it’s so fucking tight, gonna break that pretty pussy in so good.” 

“Want you to. Want you inside me s’bad, please.” 

“Gonna give you whatever you want, promise, shit.”

You felt that feeling coming over you before you could think, “Think m’gonna cum, baby—“

“Already? Always cum so fucking quick—“

“I-I just miss you!” 

“Then cum for me, love.” 

“G’na, daddy!” You heard her groan at the name. 

“Fuuuuck!” You heard the wet sounds from her pussy over her groans and whines of your name, and that swelling feeling in your gut exploded.

All you could get out was a garbled cumming! as your thighs shook in your pleasure, your fingers quickly rubbing your clit as your hips bucked towards the friction. It felt so much better because you knew she was listening. 

“Don’t fucking stop, you’re gonna cum again.” She scolded when your fingers slowed and your breathing slowed.

“E-Ellieee—!”

“You wanted to cum so bad, right? Then fucking cum, fuck that pussy,” she must’ve been close: her breathing was heavier and shaky, the wet sounds from her side increasing. 

You put your phone on speaker and set it on your pillow, propping yourself up on your elbow so you could fuck yourself easier. You’ve never successfully made yourself cum like this, but you slid your middle finger in experimentally anyway. You released a light gasp at the stretch. You were so soft and slippery on the inside, your clit twitching as you wiggled around in search for that spot that Ellie found so easily. 

“D-Do me a favor?” she gasped out to you. 

“U-Uh huh?” 

She let out a breathy laugh, “Put your pussy on the phone so I can nut?” 

You laughed with her, shaking your head as you grabbed it with your free hand. You placed it between your legs, thrusting your finger in and out, “Can you hear it?” 

“Yeah, babe, fuck.” 

You let out a moan with her, slowly fucking yourself and bringing your other hand over to rub your clit, hips jolting at the sensitivity. You both were moaning each other's name as you chased your pleasure in unison. You let out a loud moan when you prodded that squishy spot that made you black out the last time you saw Ellie. You hit it as hard as you could, pussy squelching around your fingers and belly swirling. 

“Gonna make me cum, shit, sounds so fucking hot,” she whined out in between heavy pants. 

“Cum with me, El? Please?” You rubbed your clit faster.

“Gonnagonna, fuck, m’so close—!”

You let out a shout of her name as it hit you, your fingers trapped between the tight grip of your walls. You rubbed your clit as you grinded into your pussy, your head falling back as your hips rocked back and forth to ride it out. You tried to quiet your wails as Ellie came with you, letting out obscenities while she talked you through it. You could hear how fast her fingers were moving and it made another wave wash over you, your cunt giving one last bone-crushing squeeze as its twitching calmed. 

You pulled your drenched fingers out and slowly rubbed your clit as you came down, listening to Ellie’s quieting gasps of pleasure. You reached to grab a couple tissues from your work desk, wiping your fingers and pussy before grabbing your phone to set on your pillow. You heard her shuffle before she spoke. 

“You okay, babe?”

“Yeah… wish you were here,” you answered with a pout. 

“I know, a couple more weeks’n I’m all yours.” 

“S’all I’m thinking about,” you said gently. “Go get some rest.” 

“Don’t want you to gooooo,” you heard her pouting. It made your heart skip. “Stay on the phone with me?

“Don’t you have to get up early tomorrow?” 

“…Yeah…”

“Right. You had a long day, go to bed.” Even though the sound of her breathing would lull you to sleep faster, you could only imagine how drained she must’ve been. 

“Fine,” you heard her sigh in resignation. 

“Sleep well,” you cheesed widely. 

“I’ll try, promise. Mmmmwaaah!” she sent a goofy kiss through the speaker. You sent one back. 

“Night, El.” 

“Night, baby.” 

You hung up your line, throwing your phone on your pillow as you sat up to go to the bathroom. 

You missed her scent so much. 

Your sister was very in love. And lonely. 

It’s been almost three weeks since she’s seen Isaiah. 

She was typically good at keeping her sneaky links on the low, only calling them to fulfill her needs in the middle of the night, buy her drinks, smoke her the fuck out whenever she wanted, but she never expected to miss one of them or wait for their calls. Fuck time zones!

When Isaiah and your sister first started hooking up, it started off normal. Quick, but nastily satisfying fucks in hotel rooms (that he paid for, city girl shit), smashing in his rental car before his studio session, in her car before she went to work; it was strictly sexual for months, and she was fine with him constantly flying back and forth! 

Until he returned from California with a new strain that he said reminded him of her. She damn near bought a ring to propose to him herself. He smoked her out, she had one of the best highs of her life, and he gave her the craziest head on her couch, how could she not want him?! 

And now he’s gone, making beats in California again as she sat and thought about his voice. His scent.

Why did California always keep the most important people away from her?! 

Thinking about that city always gives her a headache. She ignited the packed bowl of her pipe, staring holes into the black screen of her phone as she waited for his call. 

You were editing another compilation of you playing all four seasons of Vivaldi as Arya snored on your shoulder. Your subs were going to eat this one up! 

The train Wi-Fi was kicking your ass and was this close to fucking up your render, but you were managing. 

You stretched your wrists, and you leaned back from your small tray table, resting against your head against the rest and grabbing your phone. 

You got a text from Ellie! 

hiiiii baby can’t wait 2 c u 

got smth cute planned :)

You didn’t notice the smile that spread on your face as you typed. 

so excited :( wanna smell u so bad 

You were about to set your phone down, but a text bubble popped up. 

yeah? wna smell u too 

gonna shove my nose in that pussy and inhale 😛

IMMA EAT IT RAAAHH

Your entire body flushed hot as you shook your head. 

AYOOOOO??

UR FUCKDIGNNSTUPIDD GET OFF MY PHONE

LFMAKOAAOOAAO 

kissie b4 i go? :(

mwahmwahmwah

mmmmmwwah

You set your phone down as you cheesed dumbly. 

You wished this train would hurry the fuck up! 

Your mom had come to pick you and Arya up from the station with slices of her freshly baked pineapple upside-down cake, kisses, and strong hugs. You never got used to being away from her months at a time; You'd missed her warm embrace so much. 

You had a couple of days to yourself before you and Ellie's first date and… just thinking about it made your heart beat faster. 

She’d texted you when you got home, telling you to dress up in something fancy. Would she buy you a fancy dinner? Take you to an art gallery? A night on the town in the city? The possibilities were endless with her! 

Arya had been telling you that you needed to buy some… things for when the two of you get “freak nasty”, so she offered to drive you to the mall (no more fruit panties, you're an adult now!, she’d scolded you). While you were excited for what happened after your date, you didn’t want it to be narrowed down to that; You loved spending time with Ellie. You just got her back in your life, and you wanted to appreciate every moment that you could get with her when she wasn't working. You felt so happy when she was around. 

… But of course, Arya wasn’t hearing that. 

“Girl, you can save all that sappy shit for the wedding, do you want crotchless panties under your—“ She paused her waving of the… very exposed pair of pink underwear as she remembered something. “Oh fuck, you don’t have a dress!” 

“…I was thinking about just wearing my prom dr— “

“Don’t even finish that fuckin’ sentence, are you serious?! Your prom dress? On your first date? You needa be slapped for that!” She said, irritated as she glared at you. You glared back at her attitude, now just as annoyed. 

“What do you expect me to do?! I’m not… I’m not like you guys, okay? This typa shit is easy for y’all. You know how hard it is for me to… do things like this. Why do you think I’ve been single this whole time?!” You said with a hurt frown. 

You knew she never meant any harm whenever she scolded you about your romantic situations, —or lack thereof—but that didn’t mean it hurt your feelings any less. You’re just starting to come into yourself and your appearance, and you need her, and everyone else, to be patient with you. 

Arya must’ve sensed the pain and discomfort in your voice because her glare slowly fell, a gentle replacement immediately overtaking her expression. She set the panties back down onto the display table and grabbed your shoulders. 

“M’sorry babe, okay?” She said softly, and you nodded as you looked off into the distance in rigid forgiveness; You knew she didn’t like that. “Look at me.” 

Your eyes slowly met hers before she quietly spoke. “I’m sorry, I want the best for you, that’s all.” 

She continued as your eyes watered. Just a little glisten! “You’re such a beautiful person—inside’n out and I want you to feel that way, even more so now because of that dick-slangin’ girlfriend of yours!” 

“You’re annoying,” you joked as you laughed quietly, making her smile. 

“It’s true! You’re my baby’n I love you.” 

“Love you,” you mumbled into her shoulder as she pulled you into a tight hug, pressing a light kiss to the side of your head before pulling back. 

She spun around and pointed towards the 30% off on all thongs! sign at the front of the store. 

“Can you buy one, at least?” she said in half-joking exasperation, pout on her face. 

“…Sure,” You relented with a sigh. “I might not wear it for the date, though!” 

“That’s fine, mama! Just wanna make sure you got one for safe keeping!” She said slyly as she stuck her tongue out. 

You shook your head as you made your way over to the rack, eyeing the pine green thong on the mannequin. 

Two days passed and you were getting ready for your first date! You couldn’t believe it! 

After Arya drove the two of you to the airport to pick up Kris and Starr, they’d spent the night at your place so they could see you off before Ellie came to pick you up. 

Starr helped you wax your eyebrows and legs: she offered to wax your cooch, but you were scared and a little embarrassed at the thought of your friends seeing you so… exposed. You knew your friends didn’t care about seeing you naked, but you were still a bit sheltered with them. I’ll stick to my razor! you'd said. 

Kris was pressing your hair while Arya helped you glue your lashes on as you frantically checked the time with a bouncy knee. 6:33… 6:34… 6:36!

Even though Ellie said that your reservation was at seven-thirty, you still needed to get dressed, had to count for the drive, potential stops for gas… and what if there was an accident on the road and it made you both late… oh, god what if you both caused the accident—!

“Bro, can you calm the hell down— “ 

“Y’know, I’m getting really sick of y’all asking the girl with anxiety to calm down—!”

“Stop moving and hold your ear down!” 

You thanked god your mom was out on a wine night; She didn’t need her night ruined with you and your friends bickering. 

You grabbed your ear in a tight downward pinch with a harsh sigh, moving it so Kris could straighten your baby hairs. Even with all this frantic movement from everyone in the room, they made it clear that they didn’t want you to see your final look until the very end, blocking all mirrors available with their bodies. 

After fifteen minutes of… pure chaos, your hair laid flat, and your face was beat. You pressed kisses all over your friends’ faces with breathy iloveyouthankyou’s before grabbing your dress and undergarments to sprint to your bathroom, making sure not to look at yourself even though you desperately wanted to. 

You shut the door with a deep and heavy exhale. You looked at your dress with pounding in your ears: it was a floor length, black velvet maxi dress with lace detailed sleeves. It accentuated your bust so a little cleavage was showing (I, personally, would have my nipples out, but this is cute, too! you recalled Arya saying in the dressing room); It was so… classy. You felt like an adult when you tried it on. You hope Ellie likes it. 

You shook off your insecurities before they could terrorize you and removed your tee, underwear, and sweatpants. You put your pine green, lacy strapless bra on with the thong to match, adjusting it so… your pussy could fucking breathe how do people wear this shit everywhere they go! 

You grabbed your dress and stepped into it, carefully pulling it up and over your shoulders. You straightened it out with your hand, making sure no wrinkles were in it before you took a breath, opened the door, and walked out to your bedroom.

Starr was the first one you made eye-contact with and she damn near fell out of your desk chair and onto the floor. Your eyes widened as the other two turned with excited gasps and shrieks. 

“OH MY FUCKIN’ GOD WHAT THEFUCK—!”

“You’re so fucking fine, holy shit—!”

“If it don’t work out with ol’ girl, you know where to find me—!”

You shook your head at them before dropping your gaze to your floor so that they couldn’t see your small smile, your face flushed, “Okay, okay, can I look now?” 

“Yeah baby, turn around!” Kris said excitedly as she grabbed your shoulders with an encouraging squeeze. 

You spun around and was immediately met with someone who… did not look like you. At all. Even your brain was too stunned to speak. What the fuck? 

The girls' excited expressions slowly dropped when they witnessed your shocked reaction, but you weren’t upset at all. Just… surprised. In a good way. 

“What’s the matter, honey?” Kris asked you gently from behind with concerned eyes, meeting yours in the mirror. 

“…I’m just really— “ 

THROW IT IN ROTATION! (THR—)

You jumped towards your phone on your dresser, nearly knocking your lamp off it. You answered immediately when you saw who it was. 

“Hello?” 

“Hiiiii, m’downstairs!” Ellie said giddily, and your spirit brightened. You smiled widely, and the girls followed. 

“I’m coming down right now, just needa put my shoes on!” 

“Ok, is it fine if I come in for a sec or?” 

“Yeah, it’s fine. The girls wanna meet you!” And they nodded eagerly in agreement. 

“… Fuck, now I’m scared.” 

“Don’t be! They’re so sweet, c’mon.” 

“K, gimme a sec, mmmmmwah!” she said goofily, you sending one back just as dopily before you ended the call. 

“Y’all gay as shit,” Starr said with a headshake, making the other girls snicker and jump in excitement. 

You, heels in hand, and your friends nearly jumped down the staircase to rip the front door off the hinges. 

The minute your eyes connected with Ellie’s, you had to stop yourself from dropping to your knees and doing something crazy. Fuck.

She was dressed in an all-black suit with a… fucking turtleneck underneath her jacket. Her sleeves were rolled up so her forearm tattoo was exposed. She had…Cuban links around her neck and wrists. Her hair was cut into a mullet—when the fuck did that happen, holy shit?!— and the two slits in her brow were more prominent. You noticed one of her hands was behind her back, but you couldn’t even bring yourself to care about what she was hiding. You were, by all means, ready to fuck right now. You nearly said fuck the date. 

And by the darkening of her eyes as she took you in from head to toe, you could tell she was ready, too. 

“…Hey,” she said to all of you, but she kept eye contact with you. You stared back. 

“Hi! Nice to finally meet you, I’m Arya,” your best friend interrupted as she stuck her hand out towards your date. Her eyes left yours to politely greet your friends with cute smiles and handshakes. 

And then she turned to you, bringing her hidden arm around to hand you a burgundy sunflower wrapped in gold and pink ribbons and plastic. Evening sun! 

She stepped inside and into your space—she always smelled so fucking good! — as you took it from her hand with a gentle thank you. Her cheeks were so red as she whispered back of course before planting a soft kiss to your lips. You heard your friends squeal quietly. Neither of you cared, sucked into your own little universe. 

“Ready?” she whispered. You nodded excitedly with a toothy grin, stepping into your heels. She smiled back before taking your hand in hers. 

“Oh fuck, wait a second!” Kris said loudly before running upstairs. You looked at your two friends, confused. Starr smirked as Arya shrugged. 

Kris came running back down the stairs with a small backpack in her hand, giving it to you. 

“Packed you some… things. Might not see you for a few days,” she said slyly as she winked, causing Starr to snicker. What the hell was in this bag? 

“Be careful with our little baby, now! She’s fragile!” Starr called out. 

“Will do, don’t worry,” Ellie replied with a light laugh before turning to you to whisper, “C’mon, baby.” 

“Don’t forget to lock the door before you guys head out, keys under the mat,” you turned to say to your friends as you slowly walked out. “I love y’all!” 

Shouts of love you! and be safe! rung through your ears before you gently shut the door. Your back was immediately pressed up against it before you could think, Ellie craning her neck to connect your lips in a hot kiss. Your knees went weak. 

She pulled away before you could protest, looking you up and down, “Had to do that, fuck, you look gorgeous.” Your cheeks were so hot as you mumbled a quiet you, too!

“Think I’m gorgeous?” She hummed out with a small smile. You saw her cheeks shine a darker shade of pink.

You nodded with an mhm!, wrapping your arms around her neck to pull her in for another kiss. She grabbed your forearms and moved back with a shake of her head.

“Okay. No more bullshit, we’re classy tonight!” She said with a clap of her hands. 

“Just one more,” you shook your head with a pout as you attempted to move her closer. 

You shut your eyes when you saw her face move closer to yours before you heard her whisper a no against your lips. 

“C’mon, we’re gonna be late,” She said with a foxy grin. She took your hand in hers to lead you to her… sleek ass car, fucking shit! 

The heartbeat in your ears nearly deafened you. 

The restaurant was… impeccable. You thought Cheesecake Factory was fancy; They were nothing compared to this spot. It was dimly lit, crystal chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, tables draped in a black cloth, marble plates, candles, bottles of champagne… This is wealth!

Ellie hadn’t let your hand go the entire car ride, all the way up until you reached the front desk to confirm your reservation. You both were led to an exclusive spot on the second-floor outdoor balcony so that the two of you were alone. You teared up at the sight in front of you.

Your small section was filled with lit lanterns, the decorative trees around your table wrapped in fairy lights, and your table was surrounded with rose petals. There was even a small flowerpot with an evening sun sticking out of it. The gesture was so simple, but your eyes watered with gratitude. You couldn’t believe she organized this for you.

“Like it?” She sounded so nervous next to you. You turned to face her and nodded with a sniffle.

“Such a crybaby, jesus,” she mumbled with a shaky laugh, reaching towards a napkin on the table to hand to you. You dabbed your eyes, minding your liner.

“This is so sweet, Ellie, oh my god,” you watched her expression fill with affection and doting before she pulled you in to kiss your forehead as she led you over to the table.

She grabbed the back of your chair to pull it out for you with an over-exaggerated call of m’lady!, ushering you to sit down. You laughed wetly before you sat with a thank you!

“I wasn’t joking when I said you can get whatever you want,” She stated as she circled the small table to get to her seat. “I’ll buy this place out if you ask, don’t give a fuck.” 

Fuckfuckfuck—!

“Ellie, this is prettiest place I’ve ever fucking been in, oh my god!” You said as you glanced around the room. 

“Ehhh, it’s alright,” she said with a cocky smirk, shrugging as she shook her jacket off her shoulders. You tried not to look at her toned arms too closely as you rolled your eyes. “Want some wine?” 

“Is… is that allowed?” 

“… It is tonight, shit— “

A man dressed in a black shirt, slacks, and apron cut her off with an introduction as your server, bowing his head in greeting. You noticed how he kept returning his gaze to you as he described the specials, but you paid it no extra mind.

After Ellie asked for the most expensive wine, the server departed with a stiff nod in her direction. You noticed her intense gaze as she watched him leave. 

“You okay?” you asked gently. She silently shook her head yes before reaching out to you to grab your hand, playing with your fingers. 

Hm. That was weird. 

Dinner was fucking incredible. Shrimps should’ve never been called the “roaches of the sea”, they tasted too good! 

You were two glasses of wine in, —nursing your third—and you were starting to feel warm and fuzzy, a smile permanently painted on your face as Ellie went on about astrology; You didn’t know what the fuck a mercury retrograde was, but you supported anything that kept that impassioned look in her eyes! She looked so excited! 

“—that fucker thought that because I’m a fucking Libra I wasn’t gonna say anything. Like, I literally have an Aquarius rising, you cunt! I’ll fuckin’ run you ov— “

“How’s everything?” 

You looked to your side and made eye contact with your server, you sipped from your glass as you eagerly nodded, “Oh my god, it was fucking incredible. Who knew shrimps could be that goddamn huge! Are we allowed to say bad words in here?!” 

He laughed while nodding, “Yes ma’am, you’re allowed to do whatever you want in here. Would you like any dessert with the rest of your wine?” 

“Yes, please!” You got giddy at the mention of sweets, “I saw this chocolate molten lava cake lookin’ thing on the menu, but there was no ice cream on top. Can y’all… à la mode it?” 

“Course we can, the Chocolate Fondant with ice cream!” He said as he pulled out his notepad from his apron pocket, scribbling before turning to Ellie. You noticed how tense she looked: she was sitting back in her chair with her legs crossed, her finger tapping on the arm rest, and her shoulders were stiff. You didn’t comment on it, but something was off. “And for you?” 

She didn’t answer, and her lack of response concerned you. You reached over to gently place your hand on top of her… clenched fist on the table, “El? You don’t have to get a whole one. You wanna share with me?” 

She hadn’t looked at you since he arrived, though: she continued to glare at the waiter, and when you turned to look at him, you saw him glare at her. What the hell? 

“We’re gonna get that to go, actually.” She demanded, her gaze sharp like knives. You recognized that tone of hers instantly. She was this close to swinging. Oh no. 

“I think that would be best. Cash or card?” He snarked. You whipped your head to glare at his tone. 

You felt the table shake as Ellie moved to stand. You jumped up and stood in front of her—almost breaking your damn ankle in these heels— before she could lunge at the waiter, letting out soft warnings of nononono as you blocked her off. This was an elitist establishment; you’re not trying to get arrested! The waiter scoffed and stomped off. 

You watched Ellie seethe in her chair as she pulled her wallet out of her slack pocket, throwing a stack of hundreds on the table before grabbing her jacket. She wrapped her hand around yours before pulling you towards the restaurant's staircase. 

She harshly pushed the doors of the restaurant open to lead you to the parking garage. You weren’t having it, though. 

“Ellie! Ellie, wait! What the hell just happened?” You asked, grabbing her wrist with your free hand to stop her pacing. 

“Doesn’t matter— “

“Yes, it does!” You said louder as you yanked your hand from hers. You grabbed her flushed face in your hands, but she wasn’t looking at you. She just continued to whisper obscenities under her breath. 

“Baby, look at me please, talk to me,” you said gently, rubbing her cheeks with your thumbs in an attempt to soothe her. 

She finally looked down at you, before looking around again, “Let’s get in the car first, c’mon.” 

You released her face from your grasp with a nod, letting her guide you. 

She let out a deep sigh when she shut her door. You leaned over to rub her knee comfortingly. 

She looked down at your hand as her expression softened, “M’sorry, I— “

You shook your head, “It’s okay, just, what was that? I’m so confused right now—” 

“Motherfucker wouldn’t stop glaring at me, pissed me the fuck off,” She said between grit teeth. “Kept lookin’ at you, the fuck was he smiling so hard for anyway—“

“A-at me?” 

“Yes, at you,” She said like it was obvious. Your brows furrowed in confusion. “The bastard almost broke his neck trying to show you the menu, ohhh of course I'll put ice cream on the chocolate fountain, sexy, I'll make sure the chocolate’s extra hot for you, like what the fuck— “

You couldn’t hold in your laughter at her exaggerated impressions, and you felt her relax as she scoffed a laugh out. You watched as she reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out her mint vape, pulling from it. She turned her head to blow the smoke away from your face. You leaned over the center console, grabbing the side of her face to turn towards you. You planted soft kisses to her cheek in between your chuckles as she shook her head, licking her chapped lips. 

“Dinner was really good,” you said in between kisses. 

She hummed before she sighed, “Sorry I ruined it, you didn’t even get your chocolate fountain.” 

You giggled, “Fondant, baby.” 

She grumbled out a whatever, making you laugh harder, “I had so much fun, El, love spending time with you.” 

She turned her face towards yours to whisper, “Me too babe. Missed you so much.” 

“You smell so fucking good,” you whispered against her mouth before you could think.

“Yeah?” You felt her smirk. 

You hummed in agreement before pressing your mouth to hers. She instantly reciprocated, turning her body so she could place a hand on the back of your neck to pull you closer. The kiss deepened, her tongue swiping against your bottom lip before she sucked on it. You let out a whine when her tongue licked into your mouth. Tongueringtongueringtongueri—

But then she pulled away. You followed her mouth with yours, making her smile. 

“Let’s go home.” 

You nodded so hard, you almost snapped your neck. 

The minute you stepped foot into Ellie’s place, her mouth was on yours. 

Her strong hands were gripping your hips, your arms around her neck as you moaned in her mouth. 

Jinglejinglejinglejingle—

You pulled away from her and turned the second you heard Duchess coming, her small, fluffy body descending the stairs. You pushed Ellie’s grabby, traveling hands away. 

“Baby! Oh my god! I missed you so much!” You squealed in excitement as you rushed over to her as quickly as your heeled feet would allow. She started purring and rubbing against your leg. You bent over to pet her little head as she nuzzled into your hand. 

“You really chose her over me, wow, okay,” Ellie called out from behind you as you heard the fridge open along with some clinking glass. 

Of course, Duchess’s demons took over as she whipped her head off into the distance, seemingly shocked by something, before sprinting back upstairs. There had to be a ghost or something in this bitch!

You shook your head before standing straight to turn towards the kitchen. You noticed Ellie shamelessly staring at your ass before she slowly dragged her eyes up connected with yours. And she just took a shot of pure vodka. No chaser. Fuck.

“You always talk about me staring, look at you!” 

“You’re lucky that’s all I did,” She said as she poured another shot for herself. “Was thiiis close to doing something outta pocket.” 

“Oh yeah? Like what?” you challenged. Yup, that wine was still kicking.

“Shoving my tongue in your ass,” she said casually with a shrug before leaning over the counter, taking sips from her shot glass. 

That familiar swirl in your gut quickly turned into a tornado. Your pussy clenched tight with want. Oh. Oh, wow. 

“Oh.”

“Uh huh.” 

Do something! Say something sexy, you’re boring her! your brain shouted. 

“T-that guy was trash, huh?” you said with a sheepish laugh. 

“…Yup,” she said deeply as she watched you. Every breath you took, every nervous twitch of your body with that nasty little glint in her eyes. The one you recognized from New Year’s. You stepped out of your heels and took a stumbly step towards the counter. 

Confidence! Confidence, dammit! 

“Can I have some?” You said as you pointed towards the bottle of Absolut. 

She snorted a laugh before shrugging, “I dunno. Can you?” 

“Shut up, gimme some,” you said as you folded your arms over your chest. Her eyes dropped to your tits as she licked her lips; She wasn’t moving to get your drink, she just stared at your pushed up breasts. Your manicured nails dug into your lacy sleeve, but you stood your ground. “Right now.” 

She smirked at your tone before returning her gaze to yours, shaking her head no. She tilted her head condescendingly, lifting her brow at you. She was… fucking testing you! The goddamn nerve! 

“Ellie.” 

“Hm?” 

“Pour me a shot!” 

“Or what?” Her tone was so low, so relaxed. You could feel yourself getting so wet.

“Or m’gonna…” Come up with something, what the fuck! “M’gonna…uh… fight you!” 

“…You’re gonna fight me?” She squinted her eyes at you, setting the small glass down on the counter before folding her hands. 

“…Yeah! Y’know what?! I’m actually mad, you ruined our first date because you thought some guy was staring at me!” There was a shakiness in your voice, but you waved your arms in anger as you started pacing, your bare feet stomping on the dark tile. Along with soft jingles. Duchess was back! “I’ve never been stared at by a stranger in my life!” 

Ellie wasn’t retaliating, but you noticed her jaw clenching. It made you clench, but you pressed anyway. 

“And you didn’t even get me my dessert! Maybe I wanted him to stare at me! Maybe I wanted the attention, for once! For fucking on—!” 

You hadn’t noticed Ellie circle the counter during your toothless rampage, but you felt a sharp tug of hair at the back of your head. Your neck forcibly craned up at her as you let out a wet gasp and pained whined, your fist clenching in your shock and… arousal. Your eyes met her dark, fiery ones, her lips slightly parted as her breath hit your face. You couldn’t stop fucking squirming, your thighs rubbing together to ease the sudden tightness of your core. 

“Don’t start acting like a fuckin’ brat,” She said lowly between grit teeth. “You’re cute, keep it that way.” 

Despite your eagerness for… her everything, you spat back, “S-Screw you, Ellie! You’re mean!” 

“Know I am. Seems like you don’t, though.” 

Your body involuntarily shuddered against her, and you mentally cursed yourself for being your biggest enemy! Your tough act faltered the second you put it on, and she smirked. “So fuckin’ easy, you wanna screw me, baby?”

You were easy. You were, you were, all for her! Fuck, you’d do anything she asked of you. You hadn’t even realized that your hands were slowly lifting your dress up on their own accord, bunching the fabric around your hips. She looked down and scoffed out a laugh, her grip in your hair tightening. You were moaning aloud already, what the fuck! 

“Givin’ it up like that? Like a filthy slut?” 

You nodded, your head filled with nothing but desire. Need. Instinct. You needed her to fuck you right now! 

“Get up those fucking stairs, gonna put the baby in the guest room.” You could hear her jingling on the couch. 

Her grip on you loosened as she backed away to walk towards Duchess with a soft hi, baby! missed you! 

That was a fast switch up! 

You turned towards the counter and downed the rest of Ellie’s discarded shot before you bolted up the steps. You never ran so fast in your life. 

After Ellie took care of Duchess, you heard her tread up the stairs. You were sitting on the edge of her made bed with your hands folded in your lap and slick pooling your thong. She met your eyes from where she stood by the top of the steps.

“Look at you, already so well behaved,” she cooed at you. She sounded so demeaning, and you loved it. You were so embarrassed that you did. 

You didn’t reply but watched her slowly walk towards you. Your breathing picked up and your heart pounded in your ears and head and clit—

“You used to be so fuckin’ sweet,” she said down at you, her lustful eyes twinkling under the green and blue hues in her room. She shook her head at you. “You get some alcohol in you’n start acting out? That’s what you wanna do?” 

You slowly shook your head no, jutting your bottom lip out. 

“Talk.” 

“No, Ellie,” you could barely whisper. 

“Take this off,” she ordered abruptly, her pointer finger pulling at the bust of your dress. 

You stood at her command, pulling your arms out of your sleeves to pull the dress down your body. Was it always this tight?! 

After wrestling with your garb, it pooled at your feet. You stepped out of it clumsily as Ellie took in your appearance. You watched her rake her eyes over your body, chuckling softly at your undergarments. 

“These are cute,” she said as she snapped the band of your thong against your skin. It made you flinch… and wetter! “Give’em to me.” 

Your breath hitched, curling in on yourself slightly. 

She gently cut through your thoughts before you could gather them, “Don’t think about it, just do what I ask.” 

You hesitantly hooked your thumbs into your underwear and pulled them down on autopilot, cringing slightly at the large wet spot on the little triangle. You pressed your thighs together to help alleviate some tension. It didn’t help. 

“Get up there,” she nodded her head towards her bed frame. You sat on the bed to scoot up the mattress, but she stopped you, tightly gripping your ankle.

“Nuh uh, hands’n knees’ c’mon,” she scolded, “Wanna see that wet fuckin’ pussy.” 

You clumsily got up onto your knees, hands sinking into her pine-scented blankets. Your erratic breaths picked up as you nervously looked back at her over your shoulder. Her expression softened slightly, whispering okay, baby? and you nodded enthusiastically. You never would’ve thought that you would enjoy Ellie being mean to you, but it was making you drip. She smirked and her gaze dropped to stare at your wet cunt, and it squeezed in excitement. 

Be sexy! you thought. Make her want you! 

You deepened the arch in your back slightly before you slowly crawled up her bed like a cat until you were faced with her black, detailed bed frame. You boldly shoved your face into her pillows, —you sniffed them very deeply— making sure to keep your ass up as far as you could. 

“It’s like that?” You heard her scoff out. Your pussy twitched at her voice; You hoped she noticed.

You took a deep breath, “Is it?” 

“Fucking smartass. Show me your pussy.” 

Your body burned at her vulgarity; she had no shame! You whimpered before you reached your arms behind you to spread your asscheeks, both holes pulsing in excitement. 

You felt her move onto the bed before you heard the ripping of fabric. She grabbed both your wrists in one hand, knotting your soaking wet panties around them before dropping your bound hands onto your back. 

“ELL— “

You were going to scold her for ripping your new pair, but you were cut off by a stinging slap on your ass. You let out a pained groan in the pillow as your nails dug into your palms. Oh, you liked that. A lot. You wanted more. Fuck, you want her to hurt you. 

“Gotta beat it into you, huh? That’s the type of shit you like?” Ellie said in a nasty timbre. “The only way t’get you to behave?” 

You didn’t even get to lift your head to say yes! before another harsh slap landed on your other cheek and you let out a muffled squeal again. You knew your pussy was dripping onto her duvet in a puddle! 

“You’re lucky you’re only getting my fucking hand. Fuckin’ slut.” 

Why was the disgusting part of you wishing that she were using something more? Something that she could etch into your skin forever?

“E-Ell— “

“Be quiet.” 

You shut up. You shut up so quickly. 

“Fuuck, look at this fucking ass.” You felt her calloused hands massage both cheeks. She spread them, made them jiggle. Hit you again. 

“Gonna let me play with it, babygirl? Hm? Gonna let me touch you how I want to?” She cooed out at you. You knew she knew your answer, but you nodded your sweaty head into her pillow anyway. 

You felt her place a light kiss on the back of your thigh, right under your asscheek, before she got up. You heard a drawer slide open. Her… special drawer. Fuck, she was going to destroy you. 

You craned your neck as best as you could

to watch as she pulled out some items. She set them on the dresser before she undid her chains, bracelets, and earrings. She took her turtleneck and slacks off, leaving her with mussed hair and a black sports bra with matching boyshorts. Her back, her fucking back, holy fuck—

Your thoughts were halted by a thud near the edge of the bed: you couldn’t see anything that she chose, but you saw that familiar shade of purple in the middle of the small pile.

“You comfortable in that position?” She questioned you suddenly, her softness returning. 

“Umm… I like it, but my arms hurt a little, not gonna lie.” 

She tsked at you, “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“M’sorry! I was really into the “don’t talk” thing— “

“If the don't talk thing makes you not tell me when you're uncomfortable, I’m not doing it. You gotta tell me when you feel off, I don’t care why or when it is,” She crawled up to you and undid the knot from your wrists before grabbing your hip to help move you onto your back. “Here, stretch out.” 

You laid your head on her pillow as you extended your arms and legs, sighing in relief before you rested, limbs spread out on the mattress, “M’okay now.” 

She hummed in acknowledgement, but she wasn’t looking at your face. She was staring at your wet cunt, and it made you squeeze hard. She licked her lips as more slick pooled at your hole before meeting your eyes. “I like you better like this actually.” 

You nodded as you offered her your wrists, signaling her to tie them again with a wide grin. 

She laughed at you before crawling up to pull at your bra wire, “Wait, take this off first.” 

“Want you to do it,” you sighed out dreamily.

She hummed at you, moving up to straddle your waist, “I meant it when I said this was cute, by the way.” 

“Exactly, was cute! You saw my panties for three seconds and ripped them to shreds,” you cackled out. 

“I was excited, felt a little frisky!” She laughed with you. 

You both slowed your giggles when she started rubbing them through the fabric, both hands massaging you through the cups. 

Your eyes fluttered when your nipples brushed up against the lace, your back arching into her touch. She slowly bent down to take one of them into her mouth, the bulb in her mouth circling the peak. You gasped sharply, arching deeper as your hand flew to the back of her head. You gently scratched her scalp with your nails, and she sucked on it. 

You jerked and your grip on her hair tightened, and she moaned around you. You moaned at the vibrations on your sensitive skin. 

You hadn’t noticed her hands snuck under you to undo the clasp of your bra as she pulled away from you, discarding the flimsy cloth and tossing it somewhere. 

“So much for a surprise,” you playfully rolled your eyes at her. Calloused fingers dug into your cheeks. Your smile dropped and your eyes fluttered as hers burned into yours.

“You’re not off the fuckin’ hook. Watch your mouth, you understand?” She said lowly, breath hitting your face. You nodded quickly.

“I understand,” you whimpered out. 

“Atta girl, you're learning,” she patronized with a satisfied grin, patting your cheek a couple times. You blushed harder. “Gimme those hands.” 

She sat up to reach for your destroyed panties, your wrists connected at the veins as she bound them together, much tighter than the first time. 

You rested your arms on the pillow behind you. She adjusted them so that your head was propped up and your neck was supported. You poked your chest out more as your tits jiggled with your movements. 

“I do anything you don’t like, you tell me.” She said in a hushed, but stern tone. 

“I will, El, promise.” 

“Okay,” she bent down to press a soft kiss to your mouth before moving off you and towards the pile of toys. 

She grabbed one of… what is that? 

It was a teal circle with a small hole at the top of it. Technology is so interesting—

“It’s clean, promise,” she must’ve noticed your furrowed brows and stare. You shook your head.

“S’not that, what… what is it?” 

“A vibrator, babe,” she said simply. 

“…Hm, never seen one like that before.” 

“I hadn’t either. It was a gift,” she snorted before she clicked a button on the top of it. A low vibration filled the room, “It feels good, though.” 

“What’s it feel like?” 

“It’s supposed to feel like you’re getting head… sorta,” She said in thought, “It kinda does, like a little bit… wanna see if you like it?” 

“Yeah, p-please?” 

“That’s cute.” 

She brought her free hand up to roll your nipples between her thumb and pointer finger, making you whine out and squirm and arch your back. Your eyes fluttered closed.

You felt the gentle vibrations on your inner thigh before they slowly trailed up with every twist and pinch Ellie gave your nipples. Your hips started bucking up before she brought her hand down to slap your pussy. You let out a loud moan as your eyes shot open to meet her dark ones.

“Stop moving.” 

“C-can't help it,” you said with pout. 

“Yeah, you can.” 

You let out a huff, and she gave your cunt another wet slap, much harder. You squealed loudly as your legs squeezed shut.  

“Don’t get a fuckin’ attitude.” 

You whimpered a sloppy slew of apologies, but you knew she wasn’t hearing it as she pried your legs apart with one strong hand to slap it one more time before slowly rubbing your clit. Your hips jerked, but you forced them not to lift.

“You get so fuckin’ wet,” she whispered in awe, the sticky noises of your pussy filling the room as she played with it. “Hear that? Shit.”

“Missed you s-so much— “ 

“Know you did.” 

You moaned her name, and she mockingly moaned yours back. It made you leak more. 

You felt her spread your lips open so she could watch your clit throb and jerk in need. You looked down and saw her eyes glued to your cunt, her freckled cheeks tinted red and her wet, pink lips parted. She looked up at you, smirking when she met your intrigued, needy eyes as she placed the vacant part of the vibrator over your clit.

“Like watching?” 

“Think so,” you shyly mumbled out. 

And then you felt the vibrations on your soaked bud. You gasped as your eyes closed. 

You felt her pull the toy away before she slapped your clit. You cried out as your eyes shot open to meet hers again.

“Watch me. Don’t close your eyes.” 

You jerkily nodded; You watched her so closely. She kissed your clit before spreading them with her fingers to bring the open part of the toy to your clit, trapping it inside once more. 

Your bud was surrounded by the pulsing sensations of the soft silicone and your eyes almost rolled back into your head, but you craved Ellie’s praise, her reassurance. You wanted to be good for her.

All you could do was moan and shudder and watch her.

“Feels good?” 

“Feels s’good, baby—” 

“Yeah? Want some more?” she said fondly with a filthy glare. 

You mumbled out a quiet yeah, wa’more! in between your pleas. 

She pressed another button on the toy, and the vibrations got stronger. Your cries got louder.

“Sloppy fucking pussy.” 

The tight pull in your gut was building, but you needed more. You wanted to pull on your nipples so bad but you fucking couldn’t! Why did you want your hands tied so badly? 

“El,” you barely got out between your heavy pants, “can you—mmh!” 

“What?” 

“T-ouch my tits? Please, m’right there!” 

She snickered at you before reaching up to slap one of them, leaving remnants of your slick on the soft skin. That wasn’t what you were expecting, but you want more of that! 

“Hit me more?” you keened, your eyes glossy.

“You asking?” she snickered, and you nodded so fast. 

She shook her head at you, “You’re gross.” 

For her! You’re so nasty for her her her—

You received another slap. And another. Then she reached up to dig her nails into your brown bud. You couldn’t stop your eyes from rolling back, it hurt so good.

“Shit, m’gonna cum!” 

“Uh huh.” 

All you could do was moan out warnings of s’coming! and I feel it! and yes! It built and built until you could taste it and—

 … Everything you felt stopped. And Ellie was laughing. You were going to cry. 

No… nonono—

“Told you to keep your eyes open.” 

“E-Ellie, please no, I can’t— “

“Y’know, I was hoping you could follow simple instructions,” she cut you off as she moved towards the pile again, grabbing her… fat fucking dick, yes finally yesyesyes—

And lube… and an emerald green buttplug with a matching… remote? Oh, fuck—

“You don’t know how to fucking listen, do you?” She tossed the items next to you before grabbing your shaky thighs to pull you closer to her, your head dropping onto the soft mattress. You laid flat on your back as she loomed over you, your legs on either side of her. 

She watched your twitchy hole produce more slick, “Don’t even need to get you ready, could just slip right in and fuck you how I want.” 

“Wan’you to! Wann’it so bad— “ 

“Yeah? Want me t’use you?” 

“Fuck yes! Yeah!” 

“Keep these fuckin’ legs open, then,” she grabbed her dick and stood to step into it, adjusting the straps securing them around her hips. She climbed back between your legs as she intensely stared at your tits. She looked so deep in thought, brows furrowed with her bottom lip between her teeth; What the hell was her evil brain conjuring up?!

She gave your breast one last burning slap that made you cry out before grabbing the lube off the bed. You watched as she ripped the cap off, pouring some into the palm of her hand to bring down to her dick to massage it into the ridges. Your walls were squeezing so tight, your pussy begging for whatever she was about to do.

You almost flatlined on her bed when she straddled you, climbing up your body until her dick rested between your tits, the lube she smeared all over it transferring to your skin. Her thick, wet tip was almost touching your chin, and all you could do was gape at it before slowly blinking up at her, meeting her burning gaze. She bit her lip as she slowly tipped the bottle of lube, letting the thick consistency land your chest before she rubbed it into your skin with her cock. You felt so fucking dirty! 

“Stick that tongue out,” she ordered deeply as she closed and tossed the lube bottle. 

Your lips parted on command, your tongue slowly sliding between the two of them. She grabbed your face in a tight grip before letting a line of spit slip out of her mouth and onto your tongue. You felt it slide down your tongue before you happily swallowed

it. You lolled your tongue out, silently asking for more with pleading eyes. 

She sneered at you before she did it again, getting it all over your chin and cheeks. You couldn’t stop the whimper that left your mouth. She let a blob out onto your tits, mixing with the lube. 

But then you felt a fiery hand come down on your cheek, your head flying to the side as you let out a choked gasp. Your thighs clamped together on instinct as your walls quivered at the sting. You felt her place a hand on the side of your head, keeping it still as her nails dug into your scalp. 

“G’na fuck these tits s’good,” you heard her groan out. Your cunt throbbed in desperation. 

“Wan’ you to!” 

“Beg me to,” she hissed at you. 

“Please, baby, pleasefuck’em!—“

You felt her squeeze both your wet tits in one tight hand before she forced her dick between them, both of you letting out moans in between the squelchy noises from your bodies.

Her grip in your hair tightened as you heard her pleased sighs, her slurred curses, her whines of your name, why were you getting so tight, why did it feel like you were about to cum—

“Fuuuck, babygirl, feels s’fuckin’ good—!”

“E-El, please— “

“Yeah? What does my girl need? Wan’ some fuckin’ attention?” You hated how hard your core squeezed at her belittling tone. You nodded as fast as you could in her tight grasp. 

“Not g’na til I cum, you’re gonna fuckin’ lay there’n let me do what I want, tha’s what you wanted right? Huh?” 

More hot tears were falling to your hairline as you quietly sobbed and pleaded for her to touch your pussy, but she wasn’t hearing any of it. She released the grip she had on your head, but she just shoved her drenched, lubricated fingers into your mouth. Your eyes fluttered shut as you hummed around them, sucking them deeper.

“Gonna fuck that throat so hard one day, swear to god.” 

You hummed and garbled pleas around them in excitement. 

“Shit! Need that? Just wan’ something in that pretty mouth?”  

You nodded, you kept nodding, you want anything she’ll give you. 

“G’na fucking cum, all over that gorgeous face,” she gritted out as she snatched her fingers from your mouth. Her wet hand flew to your tits, pushing them closer together so that she could fuck her dick into the little hole she tightened. 

“W-Wan’ your cum, daddy!” you encouraged her as you watched, you needed her to cum!

“Shit, baby, stick your tongue out,” she whined out as she grinded her dick between your tits. Your eyes opened and your tongue immediately started swiping across her tip whenever it came up to your mouth. Her hips jolted and stuttered on top of you as she watched you, and you watched her. You hurriedly sucked her rubber tip into your mouth and sucked sloppily like you were trying to milk her. You knew she couldn’t feel the suctions, but you saw her eyes roll back into her skull as she let out a loud moan. She was bucking her hips into her strap as her nails dug into your tits. You kept the tip in your mouth as she rode out her pleasure. 

She looked so pretty and soft: fluttery lids, swollen lips, and her dotted cheeks flushed as quiet whines left her mouth. So pretty, she’s so fucking pretty—

Her tip suddenly slipped from your mouth as she scooted down your body. 

“K-Kiss?” you asked softly, voice unsteady.

She didn’t say anything as she leaned down to connect your lips. It was light and careful, both of you breathing into each other's whines. She made sure to check on you, mumbling an okay? against your mouth. You whined out a yesyeah m’okay before you reconnected your lips. 

You kissed for what felt like hours before she sat up to move off you. 

“W-Wan’more,” you mumbled with pleading expression. 

“Okay, babe.” 

You watched as she scooted down, shuffling until she was between your legs. She held one of them up with a hand under your knee to press it to your chest, playing with your entrance with her free hand. You felt her slide a finger in and your mouth fell open, your walls clinging to her the deeper she prodded. You were stunned at how fast she found that spongy spot inside you, and you squeezed her tighter. 

“Loosen up, can barely fucking move.”

You couldn’t do anything except wail out incoherencies about how fast you were going to cum, and you felt her slide another finger in. 

“Nuh uh, hold it.” 

“Can’t, Ellie, fuck— “

“Yeah you can, hold that shit.” 

You tried you tried, but you couldn’t. All you could get out was a cry of stop, baby! stopstopstop before your peak washed over you. 

But the pleasure left as fast as it came as she pulled out with a tsk, another slap landing on your pulsing clit. You sobbed her name, tears running down your temples.

“Couldn’t even hold it for a few seconds?” She scolded, and it made you and your pussy cry harder. 

“Stop crying,” you felt her releasing the tight grip from under your knee to softly wipe your tears off your face. “Look at me.” 

Your glossy eyes slowly peeled open, taking in the sight above you.

“Good?” she asked softly, and you nodded with a whimper of m’okay, El, I like it so much! please fuck me!

“Yeah? Babygirl wants some dick?” 

“Yes! Pleasefuckmee—!”

You let out a groan when you felt her dick slap on your pulsing bud. You were spewing pleas and curses and cries of her name; you wanted her inside! Wanted to feel her so deep in your stomach! 

You couldn’t help but lift your head to look down at her cock sliding between your folds, her thick tip nudging your clit with every thrust.

How were you about to cum from that alone? Your eyes were fluttering from the pleasure. You whimpered out a warning of your impending orgasm.

“You gonna cum from this? M’barely doing anything.” 

You couldn’t speak, you just nodded. Your mind was hazy and racing with thoughts of her at the same time, your core clenching tight. Yeah, you were going to cum! 

“Daddy—!” 

“Fuuuck yeah, need me, baby?” 

Your eyes rolled back so far back you swore you could see your brain shaking its head at you in disappointment, and you came so fucking hard. You felt her tip push past your spasming entrance as she quickly rubbed your clit with her thumb as it hit you. That stretch made you scream, and your head fell back. 

“S’so big!” You couldn’t even register what you were saying, your burning orgasm taking over your mouth. 

“Gonna be my good girl’n take it? Gonna make me proud?” Her voice sent another wave through your body as it shook in painful pleasure. 

“Yeah, daddy, m’your good girl!” 

“Then lemme in, love, c’mon,” she whispered out over your moans and groans and squeals. Your orgasm was still ripping through your body, your wetness dripping down your ass and onto the new puddle on the blanket. She was tearing you open with every shallow thrust, but you took every ridged, veiny inch like you were meant to. 

“Good, baby? Talk t’me,” she said gently, halting her thrusts as she caressed your thigh.

“M’sti—m’stillcummimg—! “

She scoffed a wet laugh at you and went even deeper, “I feel it, squeezing the fuck outta me. Dirty fucking whore.” 

You felt the balls of the strap resting against your ass as you slowly came down. She was all the way in, slowly pulling out only to push back in. Her tits were slightly jiggling in her bra every time she bottomed out. Your hands wriggled in the fabric; you wanted them in your mouth so bad. 

“Wan’touch you, daddy, please?” you moaned out in a gasp as she fucked back into you, stretching you out. 

“Touch me where?” She asked, thrusting deeper. 

“Mmh! Your tits, please!”

She huffed smugly before fucking into you faster. She brought her hand up to her chest, squeezing one of them through her bra, “These tits?” 

“Yeaah, fuck!” You could already feel another orgasm twisting in your gut at the painful stretch. 

She mumbled out an uh huh as she slowly pulled the elastic up, her breasts slowly dropping out. She slowed her thrusts and brought her other hand to pull the cotton over her head, throwing her head back as both hands played with her nipples. Her moaning made you moan and fuck, you were in love! 

“Lemme go, El, fuck!” you pleaded, your hands pulling at the restraints. How was such fragile cloth so resistant!

“Shit, baby, feels s’fucking good,” you watched her pull and twist them as she whimpered your name as she ignored you. She’d stopped thrusting to play with herself, only slowly grinding her hips into you, so you planted your feet on the bed to thrust your hips downward, clumsily bouncing up and down on her dick as you watched her. 

She looked down at you and sneered, “Yeah? Wanna fuck me?” 

“Yes, w’na make you cum, daddy.” 

“Here, baby, gimme your hands,” you halted your movements bringing your arms to hers. She tore the knot in your panties and tossed them before slowly pulling out fully, a nasty shhlck! filling the room. You were so wet. 

She leaned above you, reaching over your head to grab some pillows, setting them beside you. Her tits were in your face, so you slowly brought an inexperienced hand up to touch one softly. You gave it a gentle squeeze, bringing your other hand up to rub into the other. She let out a satisfied sigh of your name. You leaned up, boldly taking a soft nipple into your mouth. You sucked at it softly as your eyes fluttered shut, swirling your tongue around the sensitive skin. 

“Shit, tha’s so good,” she moaned out before pulling at your now sweated out hair. You gave her one last hard suck before your head fell back on the bed, her mouth instantly connecting with yours in a spit-filled, smacking kiss. Her tongue was sliding all over yours before you sucked it into your mouth, making her moan into your mouth. She brought her hand up to wrap around your throat, gently squeezing the sides. She pulled back with a look of concern on her face, grip immediately loosening at your whimper, but you brought a hand up to cover hers on your throat, squeezing tighter. Your eyes nearly crossed when she hummed with a knowing smirk, pressing her middle finger and thumb into the sides again. She pulled away, licking your bottom lip before bending down to whisper in your ear. 

“Turn over.” 

You stumblingly flipped onto your stomach as she shoved two plush pillows under your hips to support them, even though you were poking your ass out towards her anyway. You felt her slap it playfully before kissing it. 

You felt her hands pulling your cheeks apart like she told you to do to yourself earlier. You felt her staring and it made your heart beat faster. 

“Okay, El?” 

“Mhm, just looking.” 

You looked at her over your shoulder, “You can… um… y’know?” 

“No, I don’t know,” she snickered. 

“What… what you said earlier?” 

“What’d I say?” 

“About me! The thing you said!” 

“Want me t’eat your ass?” She said in between kisses on your cheek. She was grinning so hard. 

“…Y-yes?” 

“Then ask me.” 

You looked forward with a harsh sigh, “You’re so annoyi— “

A tight hand grabbed your hair to pull your head back roughly. You let out a pained moan at the ceiling before you felt her lips at your ear, “What’d I tell you about that fuckin’ mouth?” 

You instinctively pushed back on her with a whine of m’sorry daddy!

“No, you’re not, you keep talking shit’n it’s pissing me off. I’ve been trying to be nice t’you.” 

Nice?! She almost made you black out with one orgasm! 

You didn’t have a response, but your eyes actually did cross when you felt a thumb prod your ass. 

“Should just shove m’dick in here, huh? I bet that’d get you to shut the fuck up,” she spat out and your back arched deeper at her proposal.

You felt another glob of spit land on your other hole, her thumb immediately circling it before popping the tip of it in. You let out a loud moan at the intrusive sting. 

“Been wanting me to fuck this ass since I said it, haven’t you?” She rasped at you. 

“Yeah!“

“Yeah!” She mocked you in a squeaky tone. “You’re disgusting, who woulda thought you would like this type of shit.” 

Her thumb was fucking in and out of your hole as fast as she could manage. You shouldn’t like how much it hurts, that burn shouldn’t be making your orgasm build up again. 

She let your hair go and your head flopped onto the pillow in front of you. Your nails dug into it when you felt her dick line up at the entrance of your pussy before she shoved it in. You let out a muffled shout.

You didn’t have a chance to adjust before she started fucking into you hard. Squelchy noises, slaps of skin, and your screams of pleasure immediately filled the room, her headboard knocking against the black walls. It was so fast and hot and made you feel cheap, and you fucking loved it. It made you feel desired. 

“This is what you wanted me to do in that fuckin’ closet?” 

“Yeah, daddy, fuck!” 

“Wanted me t’fuck you up? Make you m’fucking bitch?” 

“Uggh! El—!”

“Shouldn’t even be fucking you in this bed,” She groaned out, grinding her thumb deep into your ass.

“Should’ve bent you over that dinner table, right in front of that fucker.” 

The imagery of Ellie fucking into you in front of your asshole of a waiter, making you scream out in front of everyone eating and drinking, claiming you as hers so that they know who you belong to made you see white. You bit down on the pillow in front of you as bursts of wetness left your cunt and splattered onto your thighs, the pillows, and Ellie’s dick. But she didn’t stop, you felt her go faster. Hit deeper.

“M’cu-mming!” you screamed, shouts of prickling pleasure muffled by the material in your mouth.

“Yeah? Tha’s making you cum? Wanna get fucked in public like a whore?” 

“D-ahh! Fuckme!”

“Baby’s so stupid for this dick,” Her tip was hitting your fucking cervix and it hurt so good. You were about to cum again! “Who’s pussy is this?” 

“S’your pussy! S’daddy’s pussy!” 

“Keep sayin’ that, s’gonna make me cum so hard,” she groaned out, her thumb leaving your ass and ripping the pillows from underneath you, your hips dropping onto the bed. You felt her push back into you, her chest on your back as she grinded deep into you. Her arm came around your neck, your throat right in the crevice of her elbow as you let the pillow fall from your mouth. Your nails were digging into the covers as your cunt gushed on her.

“You’re getting so fucking wet. Like when I fuck you up? Treat you like shit?” 

“Yeah yeahyeah—!” 

“Make me cum, babygirl,” she whispered in your ear. “Fuck me back, c’mon.” 

You pushed back onto her as best as you could as she grinded forward, even though it was quick and sloppy and desperate. She started moaning out fucks and like thats and all you could mumble out was slurry s’yours, daddy! because you knew she liked it. Her voice on its own was getting you there.

“Fuck, m’gonna fucking cum— “

“Uh huh! Cum in me, daddy pleasepleaseplease!” you squealed out in dazed excitement. You want her cum you want her cum! 

“Fuuuck, babygirl, s’coming—!”

“Please make my p-pussy sloppy?” you could barely get your pleas out as your mind fogged. You couldn’t even bring yourself to feel embarrassed at your eagerness for her cum, and by the way Ellie shouted your name in your ear as her body shook on top of yours, she must’ve somewhat liked it? Right? 

Your second thoughts quickly died as you fucked back onto her, helping her ride out her orgasm. She was crying out as her nails dug into your shoulder, and the sharp pierce made you cum again! You let out babbles of her name in your pleasure. You were both messes in each other's arms, you pushing back while she pushed forward, trying to make it last as long as you could before it died down.

You let out wet groans as she grinded you both to the ends of your orgasms, and you collapsed. 

You felt a light kiss on your shoulder before Ellie gently pulled out of you, falling onto the bed so that you were side by side. You both tried to catch your breath in your exhaustion. 

After minutes of heavy breathing and light caresses from Ellie, you reached under to grab the object that was digging into your side. When you saw what it was, your eyes widened, and stomach twisted. 

You heard Ellie laugh softly next to you, “We didn’t get to use it.” 

You paused as you stared at the buttplug that she’d thrown on the bed, the faux emerald at the end of it shining under the green fairy lights. 

“It’s pretty,” you said in a hoarse whisper. 

“Mhm,” she nodded. “Feels good, too.” 

Your toes curled.

“What’s it feel like?” 

She smiled, “You sound cute when you ask that.” 

You shook your head and grinned shyly, “I’m just curious, I assume it’s… nice, or whatever! People on Twitter always talk about it.” 

“Yeah, it’s really fucking nice.” 

“Have you used it?” She nodded. 

“Course I have, used all of ‘em.” 

“Tell me what happened!” you said, dropping the toy on the bed before giddily flipping onto your side to face her. It made her giggle; You loved that sound. 

“I was… like in this sex shop in Cali, and the cashier was like ‘heyyy, your orders over a hundred dollars, you can get a free item, blah blah blah’— “ 

“Not that, you bonehead! I mean when you use it!” You both let out loud laughs. 

Her smile dropped slowly before she whispered, “Came really fuckin’ hard the first time I tried it, like… really hard. Swore I saw god.” 

Your core squeezed in intrigue. You listened closely as she continued, “Like, I was still cumming even after I switched it off. There was a giant puddle on the floor when I finally stopp—.” 

“Ellie?” you softly cut her off.

“Yeah, honey?” 

“Can you… will you… I wanna try?” you said as your face burned, hoping she would accept your poor proposal to take your… other virginity. 

You watched a sly grin slowly grow on her face.

“Lemme go check on Duchess’n smoke.” 

You nodded slowly with a fluttery blink. 

It was almost midnight, and you were laying next to Ellie on her couch in her Lauryn Hill shirt as you nursed a bottle of water. You watched as she exhaled the smoke from her pre-roll. 

After chasing Duchess around the kitchen and living room, you both covered her in kisses before filling her food bowl and shutting the guest door as she ate. 

“Such a nice view,” you mumbled as you gazed out the large window. You’d never been fond of the city: you always appreciated the stillness of your town, the close community where everyone knew each other, but the scenery in front of you almost makes you want to change your mind. It was always so lively and bright, even in the darkness. 

“Right? When I first moved in, I slept in front of the window for weeks. The noise helped me sleep a bit better and the lights are pretty,” She said quietly before taking a puff. You listened and watched as she exhaled the smoke. You sat your bottle on the floor before speaking.

“Can I try?” 

“You know how?” She asked impishly with a raise of her brow as the remnants of her puff left her mouth and nose. 

“Fuck you! I know how to smoke, I just choose not to!” 

“Right,” she said with an eye roll, gently tapping the ashes off on the ashtray in front of her before passing the joint to you. 

You propped yourself up on your elbows before taking it between your thumb and pointer finger, watching the smoke leave the lit end before sticking it between your lips. You only inhaled for a couple seconds before pulling it from your mouth, softly coughing. 

You slowly turned your head to look at her for approval, finding that she was already watching you. Her hair was still damp from earlier, her lips were swollen, and she was still in her boyshorts. 

“Meh. Still a fucking rookie,” she said in a light tone as she wet her lips. You shoved her shoulder with yours, making her laugh. 

“That strain’s supposed to make you horny,” she whispered, attempting to grab the joint from you. Something nasty curled in your gut at her tone, mindlessly bringing the joint back to your lips and inhaled some more before she could snatch it. You held it much longer than the first puff before choking on the carbon, making her laugh at you. You felt her pat your back gently through your coughs. You passed it back to her and she took it with a shake of her head. 

After she smoked her joint down, she bolted upstairs, swiftly returning to the couch with full hands. 

You flipped onto your back as she pressed the button on the buttplug remote, and it immediately started pulsing. She smirked down at you. 

“There’s a couple settings, we can try ‘em all and see which one you like the most, ‘kay?” 

You nodded eagerly as she switched it off and threw the toy on the couch next to her dick and flavored lube. She straddled you, grabbing your face in both hands to connect your lips in a soft kiss. You hummed into her mouth before she pulled away. 

“Lemme give you head first, though.” 

“S-sure.” 

She hummed before smacking her wet lips onto yours. She planted wet, sucking kisses on your jaw, neck, and shoulder before she moved down your body. She lifted the shirt you had on just under your tits before she went crazy on your clit. She was flicking and licking and sucking between your legs as your fingers ran through her soft hair to pull her closer. Your moans and noises of your pussy as she fucked you with her tongue and fingers filled the entire first floor of her home. You came so quickly on her tongue, squeezing the muscle and fingers in a bone-crushing grip. You could tell she liked it as much as you did by how she moaned into your cunt. 

After you came down, Ellie instructed you to hold your legs up so she could see your ass. They were pressed to your chest, both your arms tucked into the crevice of your knees as Ellie prepped you for the toy. 

She’d rubbed some of your cum in before she spat on it, and now she was drenching her fingers and opening in the lubricant as you watched. 

“Just relax, ‘kay?” 

“Yeah,” you nodded. You were a bit nervous, but your walls were clenching with want. 

She nodded before gently rubbing your drenched hole with her pointer and middle finger, making you sigh. You felt her slowly push a finger in and you immediately started to squirm. Your body was so hot already. 

“Okay?” She asked you gently. 

“Yeah m’good,” you said in a wanton sigh. 

She grinned before kissing the back of your thigh. You felt another finger at your entrance before a burning sensation took over when she slowly pressed it in, and your head dropped onto the cushion in a choked gasp. 

“Yeah? You like this shit?” She asked snarkily, but shock was evident in her voice. 

“Y-yeah, El, like it!”

“So fucking cute, gonna fuck this ass so hard,” she whispered out, grinding her fingers deeper before pulling them out to squirt more lube on them. 

She slowly pushed them back in and the lack of resistance made your toes curl. 

“Do me a favor?” 

“M-mhm?”

“Get that nice’n wet for me,” she said, shoving the emerald plug in between your twitchy fingers. You gripped it tight, releasing the hold you had on your legs so you could spread them. You brought your free hand down to your drippy cunt to spread the lips, exposing your clit. You slowly dragged the toy up and down your folds, a quiet, squishy sound joining the already sloppy noises in the room from Ellie’s fingers in your ass. 

You could see her watching with a blush on her face, licking her lips as she prodded another finger at your clenching opening. You could feel the stretch more as she slowly popped the tip of it in, so you distracted yourself. You propped yourself on one elbow to bring the plug down to the entrance of your cunt, slowly fucking it into you. The silicone ridges dragged on your walls, and it made your eyes roll as you moaned softly. Ellie let out a shocked moan as she watched you fuck the plug in and out of your pussy. She leaned forward to spit on your clit, and you brought your shaky hand down to rub it. She mumbled curses out. 

“Thinking about me fucking this pretty pussy? Wan’me t’split you open again?” She hummed out messily. She was just as fucked up as you were, and it made you squeeze. 

“Yeah, daddy,” you moaned out softly, fucking the toy into yourself faster as Ellie fucked three fingers into your ass. “Shit!” 

“Uh huh, nasty slut, look at you milking that fuckin’ toy.” 

You picked up the pace of your shallow thrusts and she matched you, fucking even harder into your ass. You brainlessly brought your wet fingers up to your tits, roughly grabbing at both your nipples in attempts to mimic Ellie’s hands on you. You felt the familiar pull in your gut, but it was so much stronger, and you knew it was going to hit you hard. You were going to cum so quick! 

“Ellie,” you could barely get your squeaky warning out, “Thi-think m’gonna, g’na make a m-ess!” 

“Yeah, wan‘it baby, make me wet— “

“M’gonna—!”

You cut yourself off with a sharp gasp as colors exploded behind your eyelids, the hand at your tits slamming onto the cushion to dig your nails into it. Your shouts of pleasure overtook the sputtering sounds of wetness that shot out of you. You pulled the toy out and rubbed quick circles on your clit with it, making you release more juices all over Ellie’s expensive couch. She didn’t even seem to care with how hard she was still fucking your ass, whispering nasty curses at you, talking you through it, calling you sloppy, calling you hers. Your legs were trembling as both holes quivered in release. 

Your sprays were starting to die down with the circles on your clit, Ellie’s fingers slowing. 

Your eyes slowly peeled open, and you were met with her… high ass ceiling! You smiled as you felt her place kisses all over your thighs. 

“Tired?” she mumbled out against your knee. 

You slowly shook your head when you regained your ability to move.

“Wan’more.”

And she smirked. 

Ellie moved you onto your stomach, —if she kept fucking you like this, you were going to die! — your face shoved into her cushion so you were surrounded by her scent. Your ass was, once again, propped up on Ellie’s expensive fucking pillows that you were about to stain with your sopping cunt, but neither of you cared. She was lubricating the plug from behind you, the gooey noises from the slippery liquid filling your ears. 

You should’ve never hit that fucking aphrodisiac of a joint when she passed it to you: you never wanted to have sex so fucking bad in your life. You just lost your virginity a few hours ago; What’s happening to you?!

You couldn’t think of anything except Ellie and cumming and Ellie’s cum! You wanted her cum inside you so bad, you want to drown in her with every chance she’d give you—

“Ready, baby?” 

“Yes, daddy, m’ready, need it s’bad,” you muffled into the cushion, your cheek squished against it. You sounded so… far away. 

“Listen t’you, all floaty,” she murmured. You could hear her grin through it, it made your toes curl, “Feelin’ good?” 

“S’good, daddy, fuck me please?” 

“…Look at me, babe.” 

You used all your energy to lift yourself up onto your elbows turning your sweaty, thoughtless head towards her, gazing over your shoulder and into her gentle, concerned eyes. She’s so beautiful—

“Baby?” 

“Hm?” 

“Why're you smilin’?” 

“M’happy,” you felt yourself grin harder. 

“Yeah?” 

“Mhm,” you nodded lightly. “W’na fuck.” 

“‘Kay,” she nodded, her searching gaze still lingering on your face. “Tap my thigh twice.” 

You reached a limp hand behind you, immediately following her instructions. 

“You do that when you wanna stop, okay?” You nodded, you felt like a bobble head. You want her in your guts now. 

“What're you gonna do when you wanna stop?” 

You paused.

Then tapped her thigh twice. You dropped your head on the cushion again. 

You felt her kiss down your back. You sighed happily. 

She slowly rubbed your clit and you jolted, before pushing your hips back onto her fingers. She was planting gentle kisses all over your back and shoulders to relax you. You let out a whine at the feel of her lips on you. 

Then you felt the silicone on your hole. You moaned into the cushion in excitement and anticipation, you needed it to pulse inside you so badly. 

“What’re gonna do when you wanna stop?” She repeated, her breathing heavy. 

You slapped her thigh a bunch of times. You needed her to know you wanted it. You needed this so badly! You needed to know she wanted you!

Then you felt her pop the tip of it inside you. You cried out in appreciation as your holes clenched tight, trying to suck the toy deeper into you. She was pressing soft kisses all over your spine as she slowly pushed it in. You hadn’t realized that you were grinding your clit into the soft fabric of the pillow under you.  

“Such a good girl, taking it so easy,” You felt her push the last little part of it inside your ass before the little jewel at the end of it was poking out of you. It was so foreign, but you couldn’t help the satisfied sighs and soft cries as you pussy dripped all over her pillows and couch. 

You felt her plant one more kiss at the end of your spine before you felt the vibrations stir in your ass. 

“Fuck, oh god! M’—aah!”

“Yeah? Feels fucking good, doesn’t it?” 

You didn’t even have the ability to think of an answer before you felt her dick poke at the entrance of your cunt, slowly sliding in. Every wire in your brain went into overdrive as the pulsing of the toy and her cock rattled your insides in unison. She was slowly fucking her dick into you, sliding in deep so her tip bumped into your cervix, making you let out a muffled shout into the couch cushion. 

“Fuckmedaddywan’itharder—!”

Your quick babbles were cut off as she sped up her thrusts, both her hands planted at the end of your back so she could rock you back and forth on her dick. She was drilling you, your slick coating the balls of her strap. You felt yourself slowly drifting away, your eyes crossed in your head and drool spilling down your cheek. All you could think about was Ellie. EllieEllieEllie—!

“M’right here, babygirl, I gotchu,” she cooed at you as she dug you out and you went limp. You heard the gushy sounds of your pussy and fuck, you were going to squirt so hard you felt it in your toes—

You felt the vibrations in your ass increase and you let out shouts of bliss, her tip beating your cervix just how you needed with every thrust. For the first time in your life, your brain was silent: no doubt, no loathing, no anxiety. Just pure ecstasy. You felt so fucking full. Full of her and joy and love! You love her and you never wanted her to leave you again. You love her you love her—

“M’yours, daddy, promise!” Tears pricked at your eyes as that hot feeling grew in your stomach. Your heart was pounding, and you couldn’t think, you just rambled as pleasure and happiness and love rushed through you. You were about to cum, all over her, all for her—!

“Shhh, I know, baby, it’s okay— “

“Don’t wan’anyone else! M’yours, always yours!”

You don’t remember when, but Ellie had pulled out of you. And the vibrations stopped. But you were still riding that edge, this close to your peak. Your fists clenched tight, and your hips bucked back to meet hers even though she wasn’t there to catch them. You heard Ellie gently call out your name from your side as she rubbed your back in attempts to slow your fuzzy babbling, “Look at m— “

“Always loved you, daddy, always been you, m’yours, m’all you— “

You cut yourself off with moans of her name and incoherent shouts and sobs of love you so much! I love you! as your orgasm ripped through you. Your thighs trembled as colorful specs of glitter exploded in your vision. You heard yourself screaming out as wetness splattered all over you and the couch and everywhere, and it didn’t stop. Your euphoria was so strong, your clenching cunt spraying as your ass squeezed around the plug shoved deep inside you. You were just shaking and crying and cumming and cumming and cumming—

You don’t know how much time passed, but you were still shaking as tears rolled down your cheeks. You couldn’t feel the plug inside you and Ellie’s strap was gone: you were pressed against her bare chest, your tits pressed together as she held you close. She was rubbing your back as she pressed gentle kisses to the side of your sweaty head, gently humming in your ear. You slowly brought your arm up to limply throw around her waist. You couldn’t say anything.

“Hi, honey,” She barely whispered in your ear. “Can you look at me?” 

You slowly shook your head. You felt her kiss your head again. 

“S’fine, just breath, okay?” 

You nodded again. And your eyes welled up some more. 

She must’ve heard your sniffling because she immediately pulled back to gently caress your cheek. You tried to turn your head to hide in the cushion, but she wasn’t having it. 

“C’mon angel, it’s just me, okay?”

You slowly redirected your gaze to hers, your vision blurry as you studied her features. You cried harder, sobbing as you nestled into her shoulder. 

She didn’t press you after that, she only held you tighter. She whispered gentle shhhs and s’okay, baby, m’heres as you wept into her sweaty skin. 

You know she heard your confession of your long-lasting feelings for her, and even though she didn’t seem upset with you, you couldn’t shake the embarrassment, confusion, and despair that overtook you. 

But she held you. She held you so tight. 

After your gasped sobs eased into soft whimpers and shaky exhales, Ellie guided you upstairs and into her bathroom, strong arms wrapped around your waist to steady your uncoordinated movements. 

She lifted you onto the counter and pressed a soft kiss to your forehead before moving to the shower to turn it on. All you did was stare at her black towel hanging from the wall rack. You still couldn’t think. 

You heard her shuffling around before she moved back to you, easily easing you off the counter and into the shower, making sure to place you under the warm water first. 

You gaped at the droplets sliding down the shower wall and she rubbed the lathered sponge into your skin softly. She littered you with kisses the entire time: on your face, shoulder, fingers, anywhere she could reach. But you couldn’t move, and neither of you said anything. 

After Ellie rinsed you off, she gently dried your coils and face while kissing your nose. You allowed her to wrap you in a towel, gently drying off the rest of your body as you looked off into nothing. 

“C’mon, honey,” she whispered into your ear as she moved behind you, holding onto your waist and walking you to her bed to sit you down, her soiled blanket already discarded on the floor. 

It seemed like everything was moving in slow motion as you gazed around her room: the lights were twinkling like fireflies, her fan in the corner of the room whirring like gusts of wind in your ears, the strings of the rug under your feet reminding you of clouds. 

She softly called your name as she walked in front of you. Your legs fell open so she could stand between them, “Look at me.” 

You took a deep breath before meeting her tender gaze. She cupped your cheeks, softly rubbing her thumbs into them, “You needa eat and drink something, okay? Want some water?” 

You nodded.

“Is it okay if I leave for a sec— “

You shook your head quickly as tears filled your eyes at the thought of her leaving. You need her close, you need her here with you—

“Shhh, not gonna go, not leaving, I’m right here,” she comforted immediately, planting more kisses all over your face. 

“Want some clothes?” You shook your head, and she nodded gently. She gave your lips one more kiss before ushering you to stand. She walked over to her dresser and grabbed her pine-scented lotion and ointment. She moved behind you, rubbing the soothing cream on your ass before moisturizing your skin, the pine surrounding you. You calmed down at the smell.

“Okay, baby, come lay down.” 

She grabbed your wrist gently as she moved you to your side, telling you to lay on your stomach as she pulled a new blanket from her linen cabinet. You obeyed silently. 

You were instantly surrounded by warmth as she tucked you into her forest-scented covers. You heard her shuffling behind you before she walked around to her side in a new pair of boxers. 

She laid next to you, pulling you into her chest as you breathed her in, sighing contently into her skin. She smelled so fucking good! You grinned.

She must’ve felt it as she pressed kisses to your head, “What’re you cheesing for?” 

You shook your head and grinned harder, nestling deeper into her neck. She laughed lightly. 

“We’ll talk in the morning, okay?” She whispered out to you.

You nodded, eyes shut. 

You dreamt of pine-filled meadows. 

OOOOOOWEEEE alright bookies that’s it :p i already got ideas 4 the next part LOOOOOL so yeah gonna start writing that soon. hope y’all liked it and the wait 4 the real smut was worth it. lots to comeeee 

hope its proofread enough lol i always think that it is n then i go back and see a bunch of errors

pt. 6

shoutout to my wittle taglist🥺 love yall so bad n thank u for being interested in this little project i created :D @fandomshitpostingqueen, @nymphetkoo, @sawaagyapong , @gold-dustwomxn , @amitycat , @nil-eena , @elsivy , @constellieationn , @letsreadsomesins-shallwe :3

[hrtsgyu]

last night with heeseung.

“hey, you up?” he asks you through the phone call. “yeah what's wrong?” you could only assume he wants to do something since it's 3am. It's not completely out of the ordinary.

“look outside.” you got up from your cozy bed to look outside your window. “look up, the stars are so bright tonight. don’t you think?” you can hear the wind through the phone. “yeah they’re pretty. where are you?” you look down and around trying to see if he’s near. “right around the corner, let's go somewhere yeah?” “can’t tonight heeseung i have work in the morning.” “on a saturday really?” he sounds disappointed. “im sorry, we can hang another-” “just for a little bit? please?”

it's been like this for about a month. he used to ask to hang out during the day but these days it’s only been at night. always wanting your company, making you go to whatever concert he can sneak the both of you in. you liked heeseung, he always flirted with you but you couldn’t tell if its just him or if it was only with you. he made you feel special though, safe too. what you had for him, you never had for anyone else. 

“sure, but only for a little bit.” “yes! im parked outside your house.” “coming!” you ended the call and put on his hoodie that you stole from him when it suddenly got cold one night when the two of you were walking around the town center and he gave it to you. 

you silently snuck out of the house and into his car. “hey pretty.” “shut up.” he chuckles. “Is that my hoodie?” “no..” you mumbled. “right..” you felt him staring at you and got flustered. “can you drive now?” he snickers a little. “okay, okay!” he puts his hands up in defeat and starts driving. 

[3:30]

the both of you finally arrive at the park after picking up some junk food that’ll definitely hurt later. he puts on music as the two of you sit on the blanket that was in his car. 

“what are you doing after work today?” he breaks the silence. “napping, since someone decided to wake me up at 3am.” you tilt your head and give him a fake smile. “that someone must be the most talented, amazing, awesome person ever.” “right?” you grab his phone to see the time when his phone buzzed. “someone texted you.” “who?” “someone named sooyoung.” he flinched a little. “oh shit i forgot to text her back.” he grabs the phone from your hand, quickly replying to whoever sooyoung is.

you’re a little sad to be honest but you don't let it show. “sooyoung?” you ask in your normal tone. “just someone im talking to.” you feel your own heart sadden. Is that even possible? “oh really? for how long?” keeping your composure. “like a month? she’s super hot, and actually has a personality.”

oh. is that why he started contacting you at night.. “have you taken her on any dates?” “like 3 i think.” “hmm.” “but we’ve been hanging non-stop, everyday it’s just us.” your heart is breaking. “she must be really fun then.” “oh yeah for sure. but i was going to ask you if you were free after work so that we can go to another concert, i was going to bring her along so the two of you could meet.” “ohh umm i have plans with jake after work. well after my nap.” “i understand, maybe another time then?” he gives you his big sad bambi eyes. “just let me know.” 

[3:50] 

you both sit in silence, enjoying the stars and the music. heeseung closes his eyes when he feels the breeze. you turn to look at him and feel your heart ache. how you wish you could be his.

“you okay?” he brings you back from your sorrow. “yeah.. this lighting suits you.” you take out your phone and snap a few pictures of him. “send it to sooyoung.” you say as you airdrop the photos to him. “nah this is instagram story worthy.” he replied, opening the app, posting it and tagging you. he turns off his phone, placing his attention on you. he scoots over to you and puts his arm around your waist pulling you closer to him. the both of you stare into the distance. 

your mind full of him and his mind full of another girl.

HAIII!!!! i was about to delete this account until i had something in my inbox and there was such a sweet anon :( i made this quick little drabble about heeseung from enhypen. he's so kind and he would not do this irl, at least i hope but given that he has a toy story collection and kept his english name evan hidden for years because he didn't want engenes to feel bad.. yeah thats my man.. anyways im back now! and i was in a little of a writers block but idk something about shoegaze makes me want to write. speaking of shoegaze, i totally recommend listening to beauty school by deftones while reading. love you all esp you anon tysm for bringing me back to writing. u guys should totally leave suggestions in my inbox as well i appreciate anything !! HAVE A GOOD DAY/NIGHT!!! :3

[14buddy22]

omg hi!!!

i saw ur post about aaron requests! im not too sure what format to put this in but could i request a secret relationship reveal fluff w/ mr hotchner please?

thanks a bunch and have a nice day <3

Thank you for the request!! One request down, many to go :) I hope you like this anon!

It was no surprise that you and Aaron actually ended up together. Your chemistry from the first time you met really just set the tone for you two now.

You two had been dating for nearly a year now. It was decided early on that you wanted to keep it a secret for a long as you could, even if the BAU were trained profilers.

The good thing was, nothing in your routine changed when you got together. He still got up early, came to work early, and you slept in, coming to work barely before you were scheduled to clock in.

The hardest part was when you wanted to leave for the day. You couldn't just waltz in his office, telling him to come home, you had to get in your car, drive home to see Jack, and then Aaron was home between a half hour to an hour later.

When you were away on cases, it wasn't unusual that you two didn't share a hotel room, especially when you two were best friends for 10 years before getting together. Your team would have thought it was weird if you asked to stay with someone else.

You loved working with him and you loved spending all your extra time with him. That's why on a Saturday morning, no cases coming in and just getting back from a longer one, he wanted to spend the day with you and Jack.

After sending the text to the BAU at midnight last night that everyone had the weekend off, you already started planning what you wanted to do with him and Jack.

As you got your morning started with breakfast, you and Aaron quietly talked about what you guys could do with Jack today.

"He's been wanting to go to the zoo, do you want to go?"

"Yeah. We can go. That'll be fun. And, it's far enough away where I can hold your hand and kiss you in public."

You rolled your eyes at Aaron's comment. Hiding your relationship was getting harder and harder, especially when you saw yourself marrying this man sooner than later.

"If you would man up and tell the team, you could kiss me and hold my hand in public all you want."

He kissed you in the kitchen and he said, "I just want to protect you. Protect us."

"I know. But I'm in the same line of work as you. The team would be happy for us, Aaron. You have to know that."

"I know they would, but maybe we should really get married, that would be the biggest shock to them."

"I don't know if the girls will ever forgive me if I got married and didn't tell them."

He laughed at that, knowing the girls have tried to se you up on multiple dates within the past year but you kept telling them that you're not ready, it was only the same excuse for so long.

When Jack finally came downstairs for breakfast, you talked about going to the zoo and he was excited. Knowing he had his Dad and you off together, spending time with everyone, it made him excited.

When you finished breakfast and got going with your day, you loaded up into Aaron's car and Jack talked the entire car ride about what animals he wanted to see and some facts Reid had told him about certain animals.

Walking hand in hand with Aaron at the zoo, taking pictures of your Hotchner boys, Aaron taking pictures of you and Jack, and listening to Jack point out all the animals he was talking about in the car.

As you stopped for lunch, you three sat on a blanket, you leaning into Aaron as Jack ate his PBJ.

"Dad! Y/n! Let me take a picture of you two."

Jack took Aaron's phone and began taking pictures of you two. Aaron caught you off guard, kissing you, making you laugh. Jack began to laugh, making Aaron then laugh. You loved your Hotchner boys and they loved you.

Aaron knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. You were his best friend, and even better, his girlfriend. He wanted you as his fiancé, his wife.

"Are you guys ever going to get married?"

You looked up at Aaron, waiting for his response.

"Someday I want to. What do you think?"

"I want to marry you, too."

Jack smiled and you kissed Aaron again. Jack doesn't remember much about Haley, and he only remembers his parents fighting, so to see his Dad happy now, it made him happy.

Jack said, "Uh oh."

Aaron and you immediately looked at him and said, "Jack, what's wrong."

"Hotch?"

You and Aaron visibly tensed up, you felt his grip on you tighten. You both knew that voice. You couldn't miss it.

You two turned around, only being met with Garcia.

"Oh my god! Y/n! Wait. You were kissing Y/n! Wait, Y/n, you were kissing Hotch! What is-"

She immediately ran over to hug you both. You couldn't help but laugh and hug her back, knowing Aaron's hugs couldn't out last Penelope's.

It wasn't long before you saw the rest of your team with Derek and his son and JJ's two boys.

"Why are you all at the zoo? Didn't you all have somewhere better to be?"

The team immediately threw down a blanket next to yours and you watched as Henry and Jack started talking and everyone just looked at you and Aaron.

Rossi said, "So, how long has this been going on? We knew you two were best friends, but this is something more than what best friends do. Especially the way you two were kissing."

You didn't care what Rossi was saying, you thought it was funny, but what was the best part was seeing Aaron's reaction. How your stoic, unit chief began to blush at the thought of getting caught. He was blushing like a school boy talking to his crush.

You put your hand on the back of Aaron's head and said, "Next week will be our 1 year anniversary."

Penelope spoke up just then, "Hotch is the reason why you wouldn't go on any dates!"

"Yes. You all really had no idea we were together?"

The team all collectively shook their heads and said, "No."

Aaron chuckled to himself and said, "Maybe we should have gotten married."

Rossi said, "I don't think that would have went over very well when we would have noticed the wedding bands on your fingers."

Everyone began to laugh and began to bombard you, Aaron, and Jack with questions. They still couldn't believe that they didn't know you two were a thing. They all suspected it would happen, but they suspected that 10 years ago, not now.

For the rest of the time at the zoo, you spent the time walking around with your team and this time, you can show your affection for Aaron, giving him quick kisses and holding his hand.

It turned out to be a really good day, and next week, when your 1 year anniversary rolled around, you were happy to see the team at dinner after you and Aaron had gotten engaged.

[yurianonikki]

22|07|24 yulia’s diary

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.╰┈➤. entry 2; into the past,

˚˖𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒✧˚.🎀༘⋆╰┈➤. today's mood; tired, kinda annoyed.

๋࣭⭑╰┈➤ right after yesterdays entry i got into an argument with my boyfriend. it was over something stupid and then it escalted, i mean, we came to a conclusion but i wouldve prefered for it to not have happened. the day before yesterday at around 11pm he texted me out of nowhere and asked me ''whats one thing you hate about me'' and i asked him if he wanted me to be honest, so i was honest. i said;

i hate how late he is to everything all the time, it almost feels like he doesnt respect me and my time

i hate how he cancels our plans we have made days sometimes weeks before for his friends who ask to hangout last minute, he has never once tried to comprimise with them and say he has plans with me already on that day

i hate how he tends to be hypocritical; when i do something its such a big problem but when he does it its alright because he has a reason to do that. as if i dont also?

and that was that. he didnt say anything else that night. the next morning he texts me asking me how i am whatever whatever, then about 40? minutes later he texts me saying ''i think im just below average and thats alright. i mean i cant even show up on time for you i bet any other guy could.'' and our argument escalted from there. i tried to reassure him that even though he acts this way now it doesnt mean he wont or cant change in the future and he kept dismissing what i said and just igniting his own insecurities by making up the most random scenarios about what COULD happen. ''well i could die tomorrow, how would i change for you then?''. after a bit of back and forth about this we got into another argument over what actually happened last saturday and why he was late that time. he said i was annoyed at him for being late even though his dad was holding him back. which is true. and i told him ''you know i woulnt be as annoyed if you told your parents you have someone waiting for you already and that you have plans'' and he FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER says he does tell them, the problem i had was that he never told me that and i was left to assume he just didnt do anything to try to not be as late, right?! the main argument here was that he didnt understand that i was mad at him not telling me that he did inform his parents about his plans NOT that i was mad he was late because his dad held him back but his dad didnt know i was waiting for him; does that make sense? it does in my head. and now the final part of our argument: he asked me how he could be better for me and i told him my list of things. one of them was that i said he had to eventually mature and put me above his friends and family in his priorities when we become more grown adults and have kid together. he had an issue with this because he didnt really see the pov that he wasnt gonna be living with his parents forever, and that him and his friends are gonna have their own lives to worry about and wont have time for eachother as much, and that hes gonna have to take care of his NEW family and HIS KIDS and HIS WIFE(🤞). he assumed i was saying right now i need to be the most important person in his life (i still kinda think that because yk were supposed to be together for the rest of our lives) and he needs to respect me more than his parents and cut off all his friends for me, WHICH IS NOT TRUE, that is NOT what i was saying. but we finally came to a conclusion after i explained to him in detail what i meant rather than him assuming and putting words into my mouth, we will both be more clear with eachother and instead of getting mad and shutting down we will communicate regardless. whew. im glad thats done. it was hellish. but were good now, i love him so much 💜

๋࣭⭑╰┈➤but now back to the main point of my entry. back into the past. i mentioned in my last entry about my old friendgroup from 3 years ago and their weird obsession regarding me. for context; there was 4 girls i was friends with: ro****, 2ro*******, e**** & mi***** (i think i should also mention that ro**** is a polish gypsy and 2ro******* and mi***** are slovakian gypsies - and before you cancel me they literally called themselves gypsies and have no problem with it so ill be refering to them as that). back near the end of 2020, i became friends with ro**** as she was friends with my now ex-childhood friend m*** (she isnt important to this) and in the beginning of 2021, around march-april time i started talking to 2ro******* because we were both interested in k-pop and we had literally the exact same classes and with e**** because she also had classes with us. we 3 became close and after a while 2ro****** introduced us to mi***** and me, ro****, 2ro*****, e***** and mi***** all became friends. at the end of that school year we had a falling out with e**** because i was told by the 3 of them that she was talking shit about me behind my back. and at the time i believed them because it was 3 people claiming the same thing and they showed be screenshots of her saying i made really insensitive jokes and she didnt like them. so we all confronted her and basically kicked her out of our friend group because she decided to talk shit about me to them rather than telling me she felt uncomfortable with the things i say. flashforward to early 2022, our friend group was thriving as a 4 and we had no issues (thats what i thought at least) until around may time. i had noticed all of them being kind of weird and distant which was very unusual. we would still sit at break and lunch together and sit in class but we said almost nothing to eachother at all. then i got covid and was off for 2 weeks whatever whatever, but when i came back i had a comversation with ro**** about 2ro*******'s false lashes, i made a joke to her about them which i also told 2ro****** and then when i told that joke to her she told me that ro**** had told i was talking shit about her lashes, not true? we have always made jokes about eachothers appearances why is it a problem now? she did say she knew i was joking anyways and didnt take it seriously. i also noticed them suddenly talking about a person called 'lisa', which i instantly knew was me.

1) 2ro******* had told me i look like lalisa from blackpink and we had an inside joke about that and with my crush at the time,

2) they always made code names for people to talk shit about them without anyone knowing and they still do it to this very day.

and i decided to ask them who it was. they clearly didnt expect me to ask that because they all told me slightly different things seperately but when we were together later that day that i asked them as a group they had suddenly decided to say the same thing? weeeeiiirrrddd. i let it go because i didnt wanna make myself more depressed knowing that they were probably gonna cut me off at this point. i also came to the realization that what they said about e**** was probably either completely fake or overexaggerated. ro**** also blocked me on snapchat that week because we had agreed to talk about what was happening after school and that she was gonna tell me the truth because she felt bad? this happened in front of another mutual friend ki** but shes not important, when i confronted her about it she said her brother did it whlst using her phone? alright girl.

after that i kinda started hanging out with different people i knew, mainly sil*** because she was also friends with them but decided to side with me and believe me when i told her about all of this. literally a few days later, probably 2 days later at the end of break 2ro****** asked me ''are you avoiding us because we know you talk shit about all of us to people?'' and i was so taken aback because i know for a fact i have never once uttered a negative word about them to someone who was immediately close with us. in french that day i asked 2ro****** if we could talk about what she said to me earlier because i was genuinly confused and has no idea what was going on. it was honestly pointless though because i wasnt told anything concrete. i asked them "can you give me an example of when i talked shit about any of you" and i kid you not in a circle they kepy saying ''i dont know ask ____'' and i just walked away after that i didnt speak to any of them nearly at all after that because what the fuck kinda bullshit is that?

๋࣭⭑╰┈➤ after that we didnt have many interactions;

in p.e before i moved groups 2ro****** walked past me and said ew, like alright girl your eyeliner is lopsided lets worry about that first.

there was a tiktok account about our school and one of the videos was about those 3, saying theyre all ugly and that what they did to me was horrible. i have to this day no idea who made it i asked everyone who i knew if they did it and no one owned up to it. they confronted me about it and asked me if i made it and obviously i didnt make it because im not talking about them all day and all night, (im only making this entry to vent and to hopefully forget about them forever now)

in science the next school year, i was talking with this girl mar**** who was friends with them but they had all fallen out and had a literal fight at school 🌝 - for context, these 3 girls tried to make up rumours that mar**** had a crush on a boy in our school, yu***, which wasnt true as well as making up lies to her and her friend ang** to try to make them stop being friends, which didnt work - when we were talking in science she told me ''your actually not that bad 2ro****** was saying your so mean and weird'' but i wasnt surpirised they said that about me. i made a comment about another girl saying ''i feel bad for do**** (the girl) because shes friends with all of them but they all hate her, they talk so much shit about her to anyone who listens'' later at lunch, i found out ma**** told do**** what i said and do**** confronted them about it, im assuming they lied and said im the liar because me and do**** never spoke after that even though we were friends, they confronted me about it and i said the truth, ''yes i did say that to ma**** because its true, you talked shit about do**** to me too'' and that was that, they just walked away after that, we havent spoken since that moment.

๋࣭⭑╰┈➤ i dont miss them, im glad i wont ever interact with them directly since i moved. but funily enough ro**** was also kicked out their new friend group that they added 2 ukrianian girls to. seems like i always get the last laugh anyways 😝

🎧ྀི happy blackpink comeback announcement guys my girls are coming back 🥺 I'll kick it if you're down, kick it if you down

[jqmalikhsgib]

beauty and the freak

four

you wake up early on saturday morning due to a loud banging on your front door. you had hope someone would be home to see who it was, but as time went by you assumed everyone was either asleep or they’ve been gone.

you groaned before moving eddie’s hand off of you and getting out of bed. you looked over at your boyfriend and roll your eyes. eddie could sleep through the end of the world. you head downstairs before opening the door and immediately wanting to slam it.

there stood your bitch of a mother with some dessert you’re sure she bought from the grocery store.

“it’s too early for you to be here and bother everyone. kindly go away!”

“now is that a way to speak to a neighbor? let alone your mother? and what are you wearing? what have i told you about looking your best at all times. even when you’re asleep!”

“sorry mother! we don’t all sleep in coffins. what are you doing here?”

“i came to greet my new neighbors. is that so wrong?”

“when it’s you? absolutely! dads not here and neither is his wife.”

your mother shrugs her shoulders. she gently pushes you aside and invites herself into your home. closing the door, you turned and rolled your eyes. “oh, sure! just come right in, mother.”

your mom looks around the place and hums. “quite cute.”

“seriously, what do you want?”

“like i said, i came to visit my daughter and ex husband.”

“i don’t wanna see you!”

your mother turns around. she gently grabs your hand and shakes her head. “when’s the last time you got this done?”

“why does it matter?”

“i just want what’s best for you darling.”

you groan as you head to the kitchen, grab a cup, thanking your father for making coffee before he left. your mother follows behind you.

“why don’t you come live with me and my fiancée?”

“since when have you been engaged?”

your mother shrugs her shoulders. “he asked me two weeks ago. you’d know that if you’d bother to text your mother back!”

“who was knocking on the door? oh. hi.” steve looks at you and you shrug your shoulders.

“steven.”

steve simply ignores her. he knew she didn’t like him much because his mom married her ex husband. but that wasn’t his problem.

“ed, here?” steve asked you.

you nod your head. “he’s sleep.”

“as always! the man is a menace.”

“im sorry, ed? who is ed?”

“eddie, mom!”

“as in munson? you don’t seriously have him in your house?! you do know his dad is a criminal right?! does your father know about him being here?” she turns to steve. “does your mom?!”

both you and steve laugh. “yeah! eddie’s my best friend. of course they know!”

“how could you associate yourself with someone like that steven?!”

steve looks at you as if your mom has been living under a rock. in this town, everyone knows everybody’s business. and despite your mom being your typical overbearing, condescending, arrogant woman, she minded her own business—besides yours and your dad’s business—

you weren’t surprised she didn’t know about eddie and steve. and you weren’t surprised that she didn’t know about you and eddie. this only made you smirk.

knowing this would just piss her off and possibly get her out of your life—but knowing her this would only make her control your life even more—you take a sip of your coffee before hearing footsteps.

“morning, man!” eddie yawns. he didn’t notice your mom, yet. instead he walks over to you and smiles. “how’d you sleep, baby?” eddie wraps his arms around your waist.

“i slept amazing. love cuddling you.”

“yeah? what else you love, hmm?” eddie kisses your neck.

you gently giggle. “ed, steve’s right there.”

“oh, please! i know you two are freaks! the walls between my room and yours are pretty thin, sister.” steve nudged you.

you blush.

“um—excuse me?! what the hell is going on?”

you honestly forgot about your mother. but now you were happy she’d been here. eddie’s perfect in your eyes! no one could tell you otherwise. and you’d never use eddie, not for anything! but knowing that your mom didn’t like him made you love eddie even more—if that’s even possible—

eddie looks at you and noticed your smirk. he smirks back knowing exactly what you were thinking.

“hi, miss yln! how are you?”

your mom looks at eddie up and down as if he was trash. eddie’s use to the looks. it doesn’t bother him a bit.

though it did bother you! she couldn’t judge anyone. she’s a manipulative serial cheater!

“get your hands off my daughter!”

“mom! he’s my boyfriend. stop being rude!” you roll your eyes.

“boyfriend?! you can’t be serious, yn ymn yln?”

“i am! we’ve been dating for a year and a half. how have you not known this?!”

your mom stares at you as if you had two heads. “you barely talk to me! and you know i don’t gossip. how could you be dating this—this—”

“freak? trailer trash? criminal child? cult leader? satanist? ive heard it all misses yln. doesn’t even hurt. bottom line, im in love with your daughter. im gonna marry her someday, rather you like or not. make her a munson and have millions of munson babies! gonna take her on the road with me when my band and i make it big! gonna prove you and this hick ass town just how wrong they are. i would love if you’d accept my relationship with her, but it ain’t gonna change shit if you don’t.” eddie shrugs his shoulder and walked away. you looked at him with so much love it almost pained you.

eddie truly is the perfect man!

“yn, we need to talk about this!”

yn shrugs her shoulders. “you heard him. get in line or get the fuck out. actually, just get the fuck out!” you walked away from your mother as steve grabs and apple, smirks, and takes a bit of it.

“you told her, sissy!”

taglist:

@lov3withurgency @sunshineandwitchery @melaninjhs @baileebear @am0iur @lovesanimals0000 @pipsqueakkitten @playgurlxoxo @peachy4u2 @thepurplelovewitch

[imaginingaustin]

nyc

summary: surprising austin in new york the night he’s hosting saturday night live.

“i know, i wish i was there too. but you're gonna do amazing, and i’ll be here watching at home and cheering you on.” you said with a smile.

you were on facetime with austin, as he was in new york prepping for saturday night live. you unfortunately couldn’t take the time off work to be with him, and you felt bad, considering how nervous he told you he’d been.

“i don’t doubt that. i just wish i could look out for your during the show.” he said, a small pout pulling on his lips. you talked for a little bit longer as he told you about some of the sketches they had planned for the show.

at the end of day thursday, you were gathering your things to leave the office. just as you were walking out, you ran into a coworker.

“headed to new york?” they asked you.

“no?” you questioned.

“id figure you’d be rushing out of here to get to see austin on snl.”

“its still thursday. we have work tomorrow.”

“please. you have this place functioning like a well oiled machine. you can take a day off to support your man.” they said. you separated in the parking garage going off to your cars. you grabbed your phone and text austin’s sister, ashley, since you knew she was there already.

“what are the odds you think i could pull this off?” you asked her, after explaining your thought of coming to surprise austin in new york.

“please try! austin’s been talking about you all week and how badly he wished you could be here.” she replied. you text back and forth for a bit, putting your plans in motion. she even offered you her frequent flyer miles to help you get a plane ticket.

you spent the night getting your accommodations in order. ashley offered to pick you up from the airport since you ended up finding a room at the same hotel she was staying at.

“okay, flight is good. hotel is booked. now its time to get packed.” you said to ashley over facetime.

“oh im so excited to see you! and i know austin will be too!” she said with a smile. you and ashley had grown quite close over the years youd been with austin. it meant a lot that she was helping you with this.

“im excited too! its been too long since we’ve all been together.” you said, and she nodded in agreement. you shared your goodbyes and you packed your bags for the weekend.

the next morning, you headed to the airport to catch your flight. everything went smoothly, and before you knew it, your flight was taking off.

you managed to take a decent nap during your flight, waking up just as the pilot came on to announce your descent. once inside, you hurried to baggage claim, grabbed all your bags and stepped outside to find ashley.

you spotted her immediately, frantically waving her arms. you ran over to her and embraced her in a tight hug.

“oh, its so good to see you.” you said softly as you swayed each other back and forth. you loaded your bags into her rental and made your way to the hotel. she helped you get checked in and into your room.

since it was friday evening, and you didn’t want austin to know you were here until the next night, you spent the night in your room. you ended up ordering a ton of room service and watching movies all night.

ashley was out with austin, both of them texting you throughout the night. austin about how bad he missed you, and how much he wanted to see you, and ashley about how much austin was talking about you at dinner.

“baby, i know you know how badly i wish you were here. i think i may have to leave early saturday night so i can be home to you by sunday.”

“no, you need to get the full experience. do the show and go to the afterparty. come back to me on monday like we planned. it’s okay.”

“fine. if i must.” he replied. you couldn’t see his face but you knew he was pouting. just then, as if she could read your mind, ashley sent you a photo she snuck of austin frowning down at his phone.

“with the way he always talks about always being in the moment, he sure does have himself glued to his phone.” she wrote along with the picture.

“i’m sorry to be taking his attention away from you.”

“haha, it’s nothing. he loves you, i know it. he just misses you, that’s all. i know he’ll be so excited to see you tomorrow.”

you let them get back to their dinner and felt yourself start to fall asleep.

the next day, you were hanging out with ashley while austin had final rehearsals for snl. as the night and show time rolled around, you and ashley got ready together, and made your way to the studio. you got austin’s publicist to get you a ticket for the show and you and ashley found your way to the seats. you checked your phone and sent some words of encouragement to austin, wishing him good luck and reminding him that he was bound to do well. he sent you back a quick “i love you,” and mentioned that he couldn't wait to hear how you liked the episode.

as the show started, you sat through the opening skit, and waited excitedly as austin was getting closer to come out on stage.

once he stepped through the door, your heart skipped a beat, having seen him in person for the first time in a week. he looked so handsome.

he made his way through his monologue, making jokes about his voice, and his shyness. he talked about his mom, and dedicate the show to her memory, which brought a tear to your eye. he also mentioned something about growing up in california with his sister when he looked up at her, blowing her a kiss. he caught glance of you and you watched as his smile grew wider. he shot you a wink and blew you a kiss as well.

they then began running through the sketches. austin performed flawlessly, and you laughed so hard the entire night. throughout the show, you noticed austin’s gaze keep flicking up to you and ashley in the audience.

as the show concluded, austin came out during the final sketch, and started singing blue christmas to cecily strong, during which would be her final appearance on the show. your felt your heart swell at the sight, as the audience began singing along, as well as the other cast members who had joined them on stage.

after the final goodbyes, and once everyone began to leave, making their way to the afterparty, you and ashley made your way out of the building. you both got a text at the same time, austin letting you know where the afterparty was being held. you and her made your way to the venue and were immediately engulfed in high energy as soon as you walked in. you glanced around the room until your found a familiar mop of hair making it’s way towards you.

“there he is!” you smiled as austin pulled you into his arms, hugging you tight. he peppered kisses all over your cheeks.

“i cannot believe you’re here.” he said, pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

“surprise.” you smiled, kissing him again.

“i’ll give you two a moment.” ashley said before walking off to the bar.

“ashley and i actually conspired together to get me here to surprise you.” you said, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“my girls.” he said with a smile, glancing over at ashley at the bar. “so, what did you think of the show?” he asked you.

“you did so well! i knew you were gonna be great, and i was laughing so hard all night. also, i got to see lizzo perform, which was amazing. she’s so good.” you said. “and getting to hear you sing at the end? perfection.”

“i’m glad you enjoyed, and i’m glad you got to watch it live live. seeing you and ashley up in the audience really helped calm my nerves.” he said, a redness rushing to his cheeks.

“im glad. we’re both so proud of you.” you said as he hugged you again.

throughout the party, you and austin were inseparable. he’d introduced you to lizzo, who he’d made quite good friends with over the week, as well as some of the other cast members. the party ended up being so much fun, and you were glad to be able to celebrate with austin in this capacity.

austin ended up coming back to your hotel to spend the rest of the night with you.

“i still am so surprised that you came all this way just to see me..” austin said as he slid into the bed with you.

“just to see you, please. you are more than worth it. and im so glad i was able to pull this off.” you said rolling over to face him. he wrapped his arms tight around your waist and kissed you softly.

“i love you so much.” he said quietly, his lips barely parting from yours.

“i love you so much.” you repeated. you snuggled tightly into austin’s embrace, his warmth slowly lulling you to sleep.

[orlamccools]

vent post under the cut- if youve got advice id love to hear it

so. ive been talking to this guy for a long ass while, you can scroll thru the last tag on this post to see what its all about, but long story short is this: i asked him out two saturdays agoto my friends going away party (which was held this past friday). hes met this friend once before, and we planned to meet at her place and then maybe go out to the bars after

entire week he is super into it, texts me more often than normal, creates a spotify blend for the two of us (w that feature that lets you combine your tastes into a single playlist) like im getting VIBES. and he asks abt our plans!!!! we make a solid schedule!!!

night of the party he texts me at 8:45 checking in to see if its all happening and i say yeah. i get home from work, change, then get to my friends house and text him that im here. he doesnt respond for an hour and finally says something abt how he has to charge his phone before coming out. im like ok man whatever i just want to hang so do what you gotta do. another half hour passes and then he hits me with the "hey idk if im gonna make it out". im disappointed by this, so i respond with like a "damn that kinda sucks :/" message. at this point i expect him to stop messaging me, but then he texts me quite literally for the rest of the night. like he literally doesnt stop until i text him that im walking home.

saturday i see him in person for a short period when he does the close out but another driver fucking also comes to sweep the store and just. will not stop talking to the dude in question. he like tries to get away twice but between customers and this other guy we dont talk like at all. after the other driver leaves and the store is closed he comes back in to use the bathroom and like stands by the door for a moment so i like look over but all he does is smile and wave then leave.

SATURDAY NIGHT. he texts me at like 8 responding to a text i had sent the previous night asking if im going out again tonight. i said yeah (bc a separate friend had a party) and he was like bet lemme know where youre at i might stop by and see you. i send him the address of the restaurant and proceed to hang w my friends until midnight. hes again texting me all night abt getting ready to head out but when we finally leave he hits me with the "finally leaving now where should i meet you". at this point i am exhausted, as ive just finished my first week of classes, had drunk heavily over the past 48 hours, and had worked a 13 hr workday that day. i text him and say im like too tired im going home and hes like damn :////

yesterday night. i do an eras movie night w my friends and i send a picture of the opening sequence to the ppl i have snapchat streaks with. he snaps me the rest of the night and is like "ohhhh you should have invited me" and stuff like that and its like. i didnt invite you for a multitude of reasons but like you ditched plans once this weekend and kept pushing back the other time i tried to invite you out, so why do you think i would ask you a third time???????

and now im just confused bc like. he seemed sooooooooo into it all week and then as soon as it was time for things to happen he just didnt show and kept stringing me along. im also lowkey pissed bc i wanted to hang with him and i was SO anxious abt asking him out (like i literally threw up twice friday morning bc i was so anxious abt how the day was gonna go). im just frustrated and like i had thought he had gotten the vibe that i was into him romantically bc it sure as shit seemed like he was reciprocating, and now im not even sure what to do anymore.

[ahonice]

strange

quinn hughes x fem reader

warnings: angst, time skips, drinking alcohol, kinda a happy ending ?? im not sure

word count: 2.5k

song: strange by celeste

🎧 isn’t it strange, how people can change. from strangers to friends, friends into lovers, and strangers again

(*** is a time skip)

it was a saturday night in vancouver and your friends had decided to celebrate your birthday a little early because unfortunately your birthday fell on a tuesday this year and no one would be able to go out then because your whole friend group had big girl jobs now. 

you wore a tight black mini dress and black heels, you knew you would regret it in a few hours but right now it was the only thing you wanted to wear. knocks were heard by your dog max and he went crazy, notifying you that your friends had arrived.

“ok girl, your first present is this!” annie pulled out a hot pink sash that says birthday girl on it with a matching headband. “i know it is over the top, but you are over the top and everyone needs to know it’s your birthday” annie was correct, i loved attention i craved it in a way. “first of all i love it and second of all lets go i need to get drinks in my system.”

the club was busy as expected but you could not have been more excited, you loved big crowds and couldn’t wait to meet as many people as possible tonight. “i am going to the bar, you girls find a table.” the group of four girls quickly walk off as you head towards the bartender. “can i get a pineapple mojito and a shot of pineapple bacardi please?” the bartender nodded and wrote down my ticket. “you like pineapple i assume, i’m quinn.” you turned a little to my right and saw him, a very attractive man in a suit. “i do like pineapple, i’m y/n” “i see it is your birthday, how old are you turning?” “23.” “oh nice, i am 23.” the conversation was cut due to my drinks being ready. as i reach to pay quinn catches the bartender's attention, “put all her drinks on my tab for the night.” “you really don’t have to do that, i can pay for myself.” “the birthday girl should never pay, you wanna go find a table i would like to talk to you more.” 

you ended up sitting at the table your friends had found, all four of them were now on the dance floor. “so tell me about yourself.” quinn started the conversation, “well i’m y/n, but you already know that, i’m a teacher at a primary school and i have a dog named max.” it was short but sweet. “i am quinn and i play hockey professionally.” his was even shorter. throughout the night you continued to tell quinn all about yourself, but he never said anything more about himself just that he played hockey. he continued to order you drinks and have them placed onto his tab, all of them having pineapple in them. 

as 3am came around quinn had to leave so you quickly exchanged contact information and went on in separate ways, you quickly running up to your friends.

“oh there she is we didn’t get to see you at all tonight, that boy was hogging you. who is he?” i felt bad, i came here with my friends and i hadn’t even done so much as take a shot with them. “lets take a shot and then go get food somewhere.” and that is exactly what we did.

*the next morning*

why did the sun have to be so bright, you curse yourself for having allowed yourself to drink so much. quickly scrolling through your phone you see a text from that boy you met last night.

quinn: hey, i had such a good time talking to you last night. i would love to meet you for lunch today.

looking at your phone you realized that it was 4pm and way too late for lunch so you quickly responded with an apology.

y/n: hey i had a great time too, i honestly just woke up and now it is too late so i apologize, but if you wanted to get dinner together i am free!

quinn: i would love to, can i pick you up at 6:30?

y/n: yea thats great, let me send you my address.

you quickly got into the shower, you had slept in your makeup and your dress and heels so you felt gross. and it was soon 6:30.

quinn: hey i am here.

y/n: kk i will be right down i just have to feed my dog.

you run down the stairs to the front of your building and see quinn standing outside his car, “hey y/n, let me get the door for you.” quinn is a gentleman, opening doors for you and paying for you. he takes you to chipotle, neither of you looking fancy enough to go anywhere other than fast food, but it didn’t matter cause who doesn’t love chipotle. 

“i can pay for myself you know.” you didn’t mean to sound bitchy, but it kinda came off that way. “i’m sorry that sounded rude, but i just feel bad if you continue to pay for things.” “i know that, but if my mom found out i wasn’t being a gentleman to you i would be in trouble.” 

***

over the course of the next few months quinn and you had become best friends, always hanging out after he was done with practice and you were off work. you had began going to all his games that took place on home ice, wearing his jerseys or canucks hoodies everytime.

“how long have you guys been together?” you had gotten used to being asked that question, if no one knew either of you two personally than it would definitely seem like you and quinn were dating. “oh we’re not dating, just friends.” that was always your answer to those who didn’t know  of your relationship with the hockey player. “i’m sorry, it’s just how you’re always here and in his clothes i just assumed–” “it’s fine, you didn’t know” sighing as the woman quickly leaves to attend to the rest of the significant others. you didn’t mean to snap at her, it just gets exhausting having to constantly tell others that you were not dating the guy you so badly wanted.

***

it was soon your birthday again, you went out to the same bar with the same friends except this time quinn would be joining you. you were sat down as quinn walked over to you, “one pineapple mojito for the birthday girl, and two shots of pineapple bacardi for the both of us.” one drink turned into three and you couldn’t even keep track of how many shots quinn had gotten you, but somehow you ended up on the dance floor with a random man’s hands wrapped around you. he was cute, but he wasn’t quinn. which is why your back stayed against his chest, but you can feel eyes on you that don’t belong to the man you are grinding on. 

“hey y/n, who is this?” you quickly open your eyes to see quinn standing, quite angrily, in front of you. “oh um this is–” you curse yourself for not even learning this guy's name. “i’m ethan, nice to meet you bud but um this is kinda a bad time, i was about to ask y/n if she wanted to head out of here.” “yea that is not happening, bud, y/n let's go, we're going home.” i didn’t even protest as he dragged me out of the bar, but once we were outside it was a different story. “what the hell quinn, what is your problem?” “what is my problem? what is your problem? you don’t even know that guy and you’re all over him the whole night not even giving me a second of your time.” “so what if i don’t know him, i’m not hurting anyone by dancing with him.” “you’re hurting me, y/n, i have liked you ever since we met and for the past year you haven’t noticed it.” “quinn it is not my responsibility to notice that you like me, you should’ve manned up and told me yourself.” why was quinn acting like it was too late, it wasn’t too late. “it’s not too late to tell me you know.” trailing off as you finish your sentence almost too scared to finish it. “y/n i like you and i have from the second i saw you at the bar last year, i’ve been too much of a coward to tell you because i was scared of how you would react and i am sorry for that, but seeing you with him tonight just made me crazy and i need you to know that i like you y/n.” “i like you too quinn, i always have.”

***

you and quinn had now been together for three months now and it was going great, tonight was opening night for the canucks so you were dressed in quinn’s jersey and talking to the other significant others. “i thought you and quinn weren’t dating?” i turned to face the woman who had asked me about our relationship a little under a year ago, in the time being i had learned her name was hanna and she was dating elias peterson. “well we weren’t when you asked me, but now we are. we’ve been together for a couple of months.” “that is great, elias always complained to me about how much quinn talked about you before you guys got together.” “that’s sweet.” it really was, the game had started and you and everyone else kept your eyes focused on the ice below us. 

Once the game had ended you waited for quinn to exit the dressing room talking to hanna until elias had walked out, quinn following him seconds later. you said goodbye to the couple before walking out with your boyfriend. “i heard some things about you today.” you giggled out. “oh yeah really? what was it?” 

***

today was once again your birthday, marking you turning 25 as well as your anniversary with quinn. you were going out to that same club as you have for the past two years but this time you were going with just quinn, your friends had insisted that you celebrate your birthday/anniversary alone and they would celebrate with you a different night. 

although this was you and quinn’s one year anniversary you two had never said i love you, or at least he hasn’t. you said it one night and he didn’t respond, he just stood there staring at you. after a few moments of the awkward silence you apologized before walking out, that was seven months ago and neither of you had said it again, even if you wanted to really badly.

“here is your pineapple mojito babe.” quinn handed you your drink. “have you ever had anything but this drink? i swear i have never ordered you anything else.” he continued talking about the drinks he thinks you would like. “should i order you one? it has pineapple in it so i know you would like it… y/n” you hadn’t responded to his questions making him concerned. “huh, wait what were you talking about?” “what is on your mind babe are you okay? you’ve been distant all night.” he keeps staring at you that is makes you want to break down, you don’t know when your relationship started to fall apart but all you know is that right now it is the worst it has ever been. “i love you quinn.” he doesn’t respond. “did you hear me, i said i love you.” “i heard you.” “than why won’t you say it back, we’ve been together for long enough–” “because i don’t, i don’t love you y/n i’m sorry.” you felt like your world came crashing. “how long have you not loved me, because i know that i have always loved you.” “i don’t think i ever loved you.” you couldn’t even stop your tears from falling out of your eyes. “i’m sorry babe i just–” “don’t babe me quinn, how dare you.” 

the two of you continued to fight until 3am when the club closed. you didn’t even care that the whole time you were fighting everyone around you could hear, it probably ruined their night but whose night could’ve been worse than yours. you had finally stopped crying a little bit after they announced last call. “y/n i’m sorry about all of this i really am, i wish i could love you but i can’t. i’m going to go back home, can you get yourself an uber?” how was he acting like everything was okay when it wasn’t, was he even remotely upset that you two had broken up? “can you close out the tab too?” he was already at the door when he asked, he wasn’t even asking at that point. you didn’t even say anything you just nodded. quinn soon left, both the bar and your life, and all you could do was cry.

***

one year later you were back at that club to celebrate your 26th birthday with your friends and your new boyfriend, ethan, the guy you had met the night you started dating quinn. turns out he was also a teacher, but a physical education teacher and he worked at a primary school a few minutes from yours. you guys had rekindled at a school board meeting.

the whole night was going great until he walked in, quinn. why was he here? he knows that this is the club you go to on your birthday, was he doing this on purpose? was he hoping to see me tonight? as much as you would like it to bother you, it doesn’t. you are so happy with ethan, someone who actually loves you. 

you don’t give quinn a single glance the whole night, but you were aware of the glances he giving you thanks to your boyfriend who kept informing you. “he looks pissed, oh shit he is coming over.” and before you knew it quinn was right there smiling at you. “happy birthday y/n, it’s been awhile.” yea it has been because you dumped me on my birthday and never spoke to me again, elias and hanna had to get our stuff from each others places because you refused to see me. “it has been, but that is not my fault.” you could hear ethan chuckle at that one. “well if you don’t mind i would like to continue enjoying my night with my friends and my boyfriend.” you gestured over towards ethan. “it’s nice to see you again, quinn is it?” he knew what his name was, he just wanted to piss him off as much as possible just for what he did to you. you loved that about ethan, he would do anything for you. “yea i’m quinn, but anyways y/n it was nice to see you again.” and with that he walked away, but i didn’t care because the second his back was towards you, you put all your focus back onto your boyfriend and friends. the ones who truly loved you.

a/n: i started writing this when i was really drunk and listening to sad songs, but i think i like this one. we can thank the frats jungle juice for helping me make whatever this is. also i literally don’t know if this is a happy ending or not lmao cause it is but it isn’t at the same time. also this is not proof read so if it has grammatical errors than ignore it.

[number1mingyustan]

Bittersweet (Chapter 4— Getting Closer) ||k.mgyu + j.ww

Genre: neighbors to lovers, strangers to lovers, angst, smut

Warnings: cursing, mentions of sex, this chapter is actually really tame and extremely cute, this is more of a filler chapter, not proofread

Summary: The past has a funny way of making it back to the present

Word Count: 2.9k

series masterlist

_______________________________________________

Saturday morning rolls around and you are beyond relieved. You don’t have to worry about any more awkward encounters with girls… or guys for that matter.

Your mom works all day Saturdays, so you’re often left to fend for yourself. It’s nice, having the whole house to yourself for the day, at least sometimes. Other times it can be lonely, especially hen she works a lot during the week.

Work is actually how your mom and Mingyu’s mother met. They quickly realized they had a lot in common, single moms working at a hospital with young kids and happened to be next door neighbors.

It was too perfect.

You climb out of bed, eyeing the clock on your nightstand that reads 12:02. Your mom has already gone to work, leaving you alone all day.

The sun shines brightly into your room. The rays of light illuminate through your curtains, causing you to wake up more. You decide to peak out the window, seeing what a beautiful day it is.

Oh hello.

The view outside isn’t the only beautiful sight that catches your attention. Mingyu is standing in his room shirtless. His hair is messy, curls hanging over his face. It’s clear he’s just woken up too.

He stretches his arms up, involuntarily flexing his muscles. Damn. He twists his back, cracking his neck and bones.

His head happens to turn in your direction as he does so and he makes direct eye contact with you. He flashes you a cocky smirk.

Busted.

He slips a t-shirt over his head before grabbing his phone and texting you.

‘hey stalker’

*im not stalking you*

‘there’s no shame in admitting it kid. you’re a little peeping tom’

*your ego is too big*

‘i finger you once and now you’re stalking me ���� i love having this effect on women’

You drop your phone onto your bed out of pure shock. There's absolutely no way he just said that to you. Mingyu watches you through the window, clearly amused. He’s laughing at you, to which you respond with a glare.

*you’re disgusting*

‘yeah yeah whatever. is your mom home?’

*no. day shift*

‘mine too. i’m coming over.’

*what?*

delivered

Not even two minutes later your doorbell is being rung. You huff out, walking downstairs to open the door. Mingyu stands there with a goofy grin plastered on his face.

“So there’s a party next Friday,” he walks inside, slipping off his shoes. “I want you to come with me.”

“A party?” you question, closing the door behind him.

He nods. “Yeah, my teammate Seungchol is hosting.”

“I don’t-“ you start.

He cuts you off. “It’s at Seungchol’s house at 8. I'm gonna have an uber pick me up at 8, you're coming with. We can leave whatever time you want as long as it's not before 10. Oh yeah, and wear something hot, Wonwoo’s gonna be there and I’m gonna make you talk to him.”

“I don’t even know if I can go,” you say.

“You can,” he says as he starts to head upstairs.

“It’s like a whole week away,” you respond, trailing behind him. “Besides I don’t know what I would wear.”

“You know you don’t have anything better to do on a Friday night,” he smirks. “And that’s why I’m here, I’ll find you an outfit.”

“You?” you question.

“No offense, but when it comes to social stuff like this I don’t really have much faith in you,” He walks into your room. “Besides I’m a guy, I’m extremely useful in this department.”

He begins rummaging through your closet like it’s his own. There's a pile forming on your bedroom floor, skirts, jackets, and all kinds of clothing articles are being flung all over the place. He’s truly having a hard time finding something for you to wear. All your clothes are so boring.

“Y/n this is pathetic,” he sighs.

“What?” you question. “I like how I dress.”

“I mean yeah it’s not bad for like a regular school day, but you can’t wear any of this shit to the party, You’re gonna get bullied… more.”

You push him playfully. “Mingyu that was so mean.”

He snorts. “I’m sorry, I saw an opportunity and I had to take it.”

You push him again. "Rude," you mumble before sitting down on your bed.

“It’s really a shame,” he plops down on your bed next to you. “You’ve got a nice body too.”

“Thank you?”

“You’re welcome,” he smiles. “I think we should go shopping.”

“Like now?” you question.

“Yeah,” he sits up. “I’ll buy you an outfit to wear.”

“You’re really gonna do that for me?” you perk up.

“Yeah,” he smirks. “As long as I get to pick what you’re wearing.”

You hug him out of our excitement. His body is still, as he wasn’t expecting such a reaction out of you. He realizes he likes it, and melts right into your touch. His heart warms a little You’re excitedly chanting ‘thank yous’ to him, squeezing his body tightly.

“You’re welcome kid,” he chuckles.

"You know you have to clean this up though right?" you remind him.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

You should’ve never agreed to this. In hanging out with Mingyu lately, it seems to have slipped your mind just how much of a horny dude he is.

Every top he’s picked out for you to wear had like… no fabric. You were never really big on crop tops, but the clothes Mingyu suggested couldn't even be classified as crop tops. They weren't anything ugly, it simply wasn’t you.

“That one’s so hot though!” Mingyu groans.

“Yeah because my boobs are like spilling out of it! I’m not wearing this Mingyu,” you head back toward the curtain.

“You’re so difficult,” he pouts. “You have to trust me! You don’t own a single shirt that goes above your bellybutton, you shouldn’t be making any fashion decisions right now.”

You flip him off silently as you disappear behind the curtain. “You’re so sassy.”

“I heard that!” he calls.

You giggle to yourself. There’s one more shirt in the dressing room, a black corset top. You hold it up to your body, scoping out how it would look on. You put it on, continuing to admire yourself in the mirror.

Okay maybe Mingyu isn’t always wrong.

It’s not too revealing, it fits nice, you look good. It’s not something you would really wear, but it works. It suits you better than you thought you would.

You walk out of the dressing room and Mingyu’s gaze quickly falls onto you. “How about this one?” you ask.

A smile tugs at his lips, “Cute, I like it.”

Mingyu thinks you look pretty. He can tell you like the top too, you’re radiating more confidence than usual. It makes him happy, seeing you so comfortable and confident in yourself. Not to mention, he has great taste.

You’re acting more like your old self,when you two were younger. After you and Mingyu drifted, your self esteem went down and you isolated yourself. He wasn’t there to watch it happen, but he can see the changes over the years from when you two were close.

He likes being able to see this side of you.

“I like it too,” you admit.

He flashes you a smile. “I know, you just need some jeans to wear it with. Find something low waisted.”

“Low waisted? Mingyu you’re such a girl,” you giggle.

He scoffs. “Shut up.”

“What kind of guy knows that?” you continue giggling to yourself.

“I’ve just been with enough girls to know how you all talk,” he frowns. “Don’t tease me, I’m still paying for all of this.”

You send him a sweet smile and mouth the words ‘thank you’ to him before going back into the changing room. He mouths a ‘you’re welcome’ back.

You successfully find a pair of jeans not long after and Mingyu graciously purchases everything for you. After he pays for everything, you two head to the food court. You eat in silence, but it’s not awkward. It’s more of a comfortable quiet.

“Oh shit,” Mingyu mumbles with his mouth full of food.

“What?” you cock an eyebrow.

“Wonwoo just texted me about you,” Mingyu chews.

He what?

“You’re lying,” you reach for his phone across the table.

He jerks back, holding his phone close to his chest. “No I’m not! I’m being so serious.”

“Let me see,” you lean over the table.

He smacks your arms lightly, continuing to hold his phone close to his chest. “Let me finish reading it first!”

You huff out, sitting back down in your seat. Your heart is beating so fast. What did he say? Did you completely embarrass yourself with him yesterday? What if he thinks you’re annoying?

•your neighbor, the one from yesterday, is she a junior?•

‘yeah, why?’

•she’s cute•

“He thinks your cute,” Mingyu smirks.

Your eyes widen and brighten. There’s no way. You reach for his phone again, to which this time Mingyu hands to you. You snatch it out of his hands, reading through the messages.

He really wasn’t lying.

Mingyu hasn’t seen you this excited in a very long time. The last time he’s seen you this excited, it has to have been over something like going to the fair or playing a silly game with him.

Your eyes are so bright. You’re reading the messages on his phone and he swears he sees your eyes actually sparkle. You can’t sit still and you’re squealing like a little girl. Wonwoo’s right, you’re cute.

He reaches his hand out, taking back his phone. You push your food aside, leaning back over the table. “What are you gonna say to him?”

“Not telling you,” Mingyu smirks as he typed on his phone.

‘you want her number ??’

•nah i’d rather do it myself. besdies, i was just wondering•

‘ight’

•she doesn’t have a bf tho right? the hickies lowk threw me off •

‘nah those were from me, she’s not my girl tho. it was a one time thing, we decided we’re better as friends fr’

•was she any good ?•

‘😇🤐’

•you fucker•

read

Mingyu places his phone done on the table with a sly smirk. You’re looking at him, eyes pleading for answers.

“What did he say?” you ask.

He chuckles. “I’ve never seen you act like this before. I got it covered, you don’t have to worry about anything.”

You trust Mingyu, however it’s going to eat you from the inside out if you don’t find out what Wonwoo is saying about you. ‘I got it covered’ isn’t nearly enough reassurance for you.

“But-“

“Nope,” he pats your head. “Just trust me on this one kid.”

You pout, leaning back into the chair.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

It’s almost 4 and you’re back at Mingyu’s house. You’re both lying on your backs, looking up at the ceiling as you rest on his bed.

You’re reminiscing about the past, relieving old memories that you two share. You’re both smiling and laughing as the memories come back to you.

Everything with him feels so… natural. Like you’ve picked up exactly where you left off. You don’t have any resentment toward him and your drift. You’ve always been understanding. People grow and people change, and that’s simply how is happened with you and Mingyu.

Besdies, he’s here now. He agreed to your proposition rather quickly, and to your surprise. With spring approaching and Mingyu already being a senior, you know there’s not much time before he’s off to University.

“I think my mom has some CDs of us somewhere downstairs,” he says.

“Really?” you perk up. “Can we watch them?”

Mingyu nods before climbing off the bed and heading downstairs. It takes a few minutes, but he returns with a CD pack. You sit up on his bed excitedly, sliding down so you're on the floor facing his tv with the bed against your back.

He inserts the CD, plopping down on the floor next to you. He grabs the remote hitting the 'play' button. The camera screen starts off black, eventually turning into pixels with faded colors. You recognize the setting almost immediately, it's your house. The date is in the corner of the screen 7.12.02. You can hear a voice from behind the camera, you know it’s Mingyu’s mom.

“Is it on?” she asks. She bangs the camera on her hand a few times before you hear your mother. The camera shakes more as your mom snatches it out of her hands.

“Yes it’s on!” Your mom shouts. “You’re gonna break it if you keep doing that.”

You can’t help the smile that’s tugging at your lips. You glance at Mingyu, seeing the genuine smile he has plastered on his face.

The camera is still at an angle, facing the ground. There's flower petals scattered across the ground. There's more movement before the camera pans up and finds focus. A five year old Mingyu is leaning against the wall eagerly. He's all dressed up in his little black suit. He purses his lips, eyes beaming with excitment.

"Are you excited?" Your mother asks from behind the camera. Mingyu shakes his head immediately. She lets out a small laugh from behind the camera.

Your mother suddenly gasps dramatically, swiftly turning the camera around. Mingyu's mom starts humming 'here comes to bride' and it hits the two of you at the same time.

"Oh my god," you and Mingyu sigh in unison.

There you are, walking along the trail of flowers with the absolute biggest frown on your face. You look less than happy to be here, holding another bouquet of fake flowers. You walk over to Mingyu, leaning next to him against the wall.

He's got the cutest little lovesick grin on his face as he stares at you. One you don't reciprocate.

"Hold her hand Mingyu," his mother tells him.

He reaches out to you nervously, and you bite him. He jerks his hand back and yelps. "Ouch!"

"Yah!" your mom scolds. "Hold his hand Y/n! Don't do that!"

You let out a 'hmph' and stomp your foot before holding his hand. "See, wasn't so hard now was it?"

You glare at the camera. "No momma! I don't wanna marry Migyu."

"Why not? He wants to marry you, right Gyu?" The camera shifts to him. He nods again with a goofy grin. She pans the camera back to you.

"Because I don't wanna!" you pout.

Poor Mingyu is on the verge of tears as you throw a mini tantrum over the idea of marrying him.

"But you love Mingyu right?" your mom asks.

You glance over at the teary-eyed boy and nod. "He's my best friend."

"If you love him, why can't you marry him?" she questions.

You don't say anything, simply staring the boy down. His lip is trembling as he holds back tears. You silently walk over to him, wrapping your arms around his larger frame.

"I'm sorry," you say to him.

Both of your moms 'aw' in unison from behind the camera. There's a sudden crinkling as Mingyu's mom holds out two ring pops.

"Give her the ring Mingyu," Ms.Kim says.

He grabs them excitedly, unwrapping them quickly. Like a true gentleman, he slides one onto your finger first before putting one onto his own.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife," your mother giggles.

You hug him again, squealing happily as you squeeze his body. You place a big kiss on his cheek, which causes Mingyu to turn a bright red. There's laughter from the adults before the video ends.

Mingyu looks over at you with a smirk. "Don't remember you being such a bitch,"

You fake a dramatic gasp. "Don't remember you being such a crybaby either."

He frowns at you, "I think anyone would cry if they're about to be left at the altar."

"Touché," you smile. "Just means you're totally in love with me

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

You've completely lost track of time. It's not until Ms.Kim comes home that you realize you've spent the entire day with Mingyu.

You're both laying on his bed again, snacking and talking. He's in the middle of telling you a funny story about one of his teammates when she walks in. She does a double take, realizing that it is actually you on Mingyu's bed and not some random girl.

"Y/n!" she embraces you in a tight hug.

You chuckle, hugging her back. "Hi momma Kim,"

"This is such a pleasant surprise! What are you doing here?" she asks enthusiastically.

You give a quick glance back at Mingyu. "Just keeping your son company since you and my mom were on day shift."

You stifle back a laugh as he side-eyes you. "I'm the one keeping her company."

"No!" you object. "You're the one who invited me over."

"You were the one stalking me all morning," He argues.

Ms.Kim watches you with a cheeky grin. "You guys never change.

You both shoot your heads in her direction skeptically. "It's been years since I've seen the two of you like this, neither of you have changed the slightest bit. I'm gonna invite your mother over and we'll order takeout!"

Neither of you have time to object before she's already out of the room and dialing your mom's number.

Less than an hour later, all four of you are seated in the living room, facing the tv and eating straight out of the takeout boxes. The adults sit on the couch and you and Mingyu are seated on the floor in front of them. It's a truly nostalgic scene.

However, you and Mingyu are too caught up in your own conversation, you remain oblivious to the nudges and giggles your parents share as they watch you. _______________________________________________

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© number1mingyustan - Do not repost without permission.

[liamthemailman]

im writing this because i realized i havent done any acesoap in a hot minute since i was so busy with House of Cards

me being an oc creator is so fun and its even more fun with canon x oc because i can just go

Johnny woke up with an uneasy feeling. He shifts under the covers but can't find the urge to sleep despite being exhausted the whole day. The room felt unnaturally cold. Johnny turns in bed to find Ace, thinking his boyfriend would give him solace from his discomfort.

Johnny would find that the side that Ace usually took up was empty. There was the distinct smell of the guy lingering in the sheets, but Ace seemed to have disappeared into thin air. Johnny sits up in bed.

Johnny strained his ears. Perhaps Ace just was on a late night bathroom visit. Johnny sat and listened. The air in Johnny's apartment was undisturbed. No movement shook the silent atmosphere, save for some crickets outside. The closing of the bathroom door and the creaking of the floorboards never came. Ace wasn't in the house anymore.

Now, Johnny was really freaking out. He jumps up from the bed and winces slightly when he meets the cold floor. Johnny carefully searches his whole house, more desperate when each room is empty.

All of Ace's stuff seemed to have gone too. Despite it being Johnny's place, Ace would have a toothbrush in the toilet, a sweater or two lying around and a mug for his tea in the cabinet. None of these things were in their places.

Johnny recalls the days leading up to now. Ace hadn't shown any signs of wanting to split up, and he was not one to pull such cruel pranks. Hell, Ace cuddled Johnny as they fell asleep last night as usual, always in each other's arms.

Tears pricked at Johnny's eyes, worry weighing his mind as to why Ace seemed to have just up and left in the middle of the night. Johnny reached for his phone to contact Ace. Johnny's fingers had never dialed Ace's number so fast. He put the phone to his ear, and was sent immediately told that the number was not in service.

What the, Johnny thought. That wasn't possible, since they had called and texted just last afternoon when Johnny called Ace over.

Johnny felt ashamed to call anyone else's help for his issue, unsure how to explain just how he lost his boyfriend. However, he was growing desperate. He dialed Gaz's number despite it being the ungodly hour of 3:28AM on a Saturday.

"This better be important.." Gaz's voice grumbled through the phone. Johnny couldn't be happier to hear his best mate's voice. He immediately spoke.

"Gaz, I dunnae where Ace is! I just woke up not too long ago and he's just gaen! A' his hings tae! Gaz, I-"

"Mate, slow down.. I can barely understand you.." Gaz groaned, interrupting Johnny's babbling. "Who's Ace?"

"Quit pumpin' aroond, Gaz! The man's gone and I need to know where he went-"

"Johnny, calm down. I can't help you if you're all freaked out.. Who's Ace?" Gaz asked, genuine confusion in his voice.

Johnny went quiet. Was Gaz serious? He stared at his phone in disbelief for a moment before putting it to his ear again. Maybe it was because Gaz just woke up.

"Ace? Mah boyfriend. He has a scar going around his neck! Our bleedin' CO!"

Johnny was met with silence from Gaz.

"Ace. Ace Doe! Our lieutenant? Kinda short, angry face, always has his shades on, and wears a hoodie everywhere? Gaz!" Johnny's voice cracked with desperation and panic.

"Johnny. As far as I'm concerned, Ghost's our only lieutenant."

"What?! No, Gaz, I'm serious here-"

"So am I!" Gaz hissed through the phone, quickly silencing Johnny. "..Sorry, lost my temper."

Gaz, on the other end of the line, could clearly tell Johnny was seriously distressed. Whoever this Ace is, was really important to Johnny, and also their lieutenant, apparently.

"Just calm down.. and we can talk to Price in the morning." Gaz says. Johnny, satisfied, thanked Gaz and put down the phone.

Johnny thought about calling Price directly, since he was the first to meet Ace anyway. He couldn't wait another few hours pondering the whereabouts of his love. Johnny dialed the captain's number.

"..ello?" Came the sleepy gruff of Price on the other end.

"Ace is missing." Johnny said in a shaky voice.

"..Who's Ace? Is Ace a dog?"

Johnny takes in another shaky breath, his lips trembling slightly.

"Nevermind.." Johnny strained.

"Well.. I hope you find him soon.." Price says, now confused, and ends the call.

Who is Ace?

This question would echo in Johnny's mind as he slinks back to bed. Exhaustion was catching up to him. He seemed more lonely than alone. It didn't exactly help when his friends didn't even know who he was talking about.

Johnny pulled back the sheets and slipped under the covers. The bed seemed colder than it ever has been with the absence of someone else. The bed smelled different, like someone else laid in it before Johnny did. He shifts a little, the indent in the bed seemingly not fitting him, but someone else instead. Someone else.

Someone else? Johnny pondered.

And it scares Johnny even more, knowing that he was supposed to know. He was supposed to know when remnants of this someone else was in his bed.

Hours passed and Johnny couldn't get a wink of sleep, but he didn't move when the sun shined in through the curtains. Instead, he found himself thinking.

Who is Ace?