#we’re still waiting on Thomas and Virgil

[dystopiagnome]

Ayo they’re cute 😭

[delimeful]

give me mercy no more (2)

warnings: self sacrifice, mentions of hypothetical gore, fear/panic, misunderstandings, abduction, logan getting too excited about science and explaining Nothing 

-

Standing alone on the center of the barren sacrificial altar, Virgil felt as though he’d been wrung out like an old dishcloth.

The stress was still there, along with the terror and the dread and the misery, but after a while they’d faded into simple background noise. A low, ever-present hum, constantly reminding him he was going to die soon.

As though he could forget something like that.

Still. Better him than Janus, or, gods forbid, Thomas. It was the mantra that had carried him this far. He’d say it all the way to his grave.

Assuming he actually got one, that was. There probably wouldn’t be much left to bury.

The sound of distant wingbeats pulled his attention back to the world outside, the chorus of terror growing the slightest bit louder in the back of his mind. He could see the silhouette, growing larger as the dragon got closer, and twisted one of the decorative ceremonial cuffs he’d donned around his wrist nervously.

He glanced at where two of his knights waited at the entrance to the open-air cliff platform.

“You don’t have to be here,” he tried, glancing between them. “It’s dangerous, and you probably won’t want to see…,”

He trailed off, gesturing idly with a cuffed hand, because there was really no delicate way to say ‘I’m most likely about to get torn to bloody shreds.’

The two of them exchanged looks. “We’re staying, sir. The least we can do for you is see this through.”

“I trained you guys too well,” he snorted, but when he turned back to face the open sky, he felt a little less alone.

He hadn’t needed to explain much, not after he’d told them that he would be taking Janus’s place. It had earned him looks, ranging from solemn to pitying, but none dared to argue when Janus himself appeared to have conceded.

(The spell would unravel by nightfall. By then, he’d be long gone, one way or another.)

He might not be an advisor, but when he’d stepped into the role of bodyguard, he’d applied every bit of dedication in his body to the job. He knew more about the kingdom and how it worked than almost anyone else.

And if that didn’t end up being enough? He was fairly sure that being a mage would tip the scales in their favor.

Revealing that little tidbit was a last resort, since rumor had it that most dragons were attracted to magical power in any form, and in order to obtain it, the more ruthless of them would often hunt down and consume human mages.

The thought didn’t manage to perturb Virgil much. He’d felt pretty sure he was going to get bitten in half well before uncovering the truth about that particular rumor, possibly even before he got through the first sentence of his explanation, and he’d committed to the decision anyhow.

Overhead, the dragon began their descent.

An enormous winged shadow fell over him, and for a moment, the instinctual clamor in his head became deafening— YOU’LL DIE YOU’LL DIE YOU’LL DIE— but he forced the automatic tension from his legs.

He couldn’t run. Not from this.

A heavy thump, and Virgil lifted his head to see that the dragon had shifted into a massive humanoid form. Far less aerodynamic, but it was the most common form used whenever a dragon deigned to actually speak with a human. Draconic snouts weren’t ideal for speaking human tongues, after all.

The beast was hardly less intimidating this way. They had settled so they were standing on the ground far beneath the cliffside, but they were large enough that they could easily rest their arms on either side of the wide altar Virgil stood on as simply as Virgil himself would lean against a counter.

Virgil glanced up for as long as he dared, and then resisted the urge to do a double take. Was that… was that their dragon?

He hadn’t been present for the last tribute offering before the assassinations– mostly due to aforementioned identity as a mage– but the being before him didn’t look anything like the descriptions of the ancient, silver-scaled dragon that had Thomas’s ancestors had made a covenant with, back when the kingdom was little more than a well-defended duchy.

For one, their human form was relatively young-looking. For another, the scales and horns that decorated their hairline were a deep indigo.

… Well, Virgil was already on thin ice. He resolutely decided he wasn’t going to be the one to ask. They were waiting on a dragon, and there was one here, so he might as well proceed with the ceremony.

Large, slit-pupil eyes flickered over the scene set before them, a pair of thin, translucent eyelids sweeping over them in what almost looked like a bewildered blink. “This is… unusual.”

It wasn’t the enraged demand for an explanation that he’d been expecting, and Virgil struggled to remember exactly how Janus had phrased his argument, thrown off-balance. “Uh, with the damages–,” no, shit, wait–, “I mean, honorable greetings to the lord of this land,” he hurriedly corrected, bowing his head in deference. “We humbly welcome you.”

There was a pause, and Virgil bit his lip hard enough that he tasted blood. He’d never been the best at the whole social etiquette bit, and somehow the way he’d almost botched the entire thing in the first ten seconds was making him feel more stressed than the past half-hour of waiting for and vividly imagining his impending demise.

“I accept this welcome,” the dragon finally replied, still sounding more curious than angry. Naturally, they managed to make the greeting sound entirely professional and well-practiced. “I haven’t accepted a tribute from this kingdom yet, but I’m familiar with the general concept, and things seem… different.”

That was a definite yes on the new lord thing, then.

Their statement wasn’t phrased as a question, but Virgil recognised a demand for information when he heard one. He straightened back up, only barely keeping himself from falling into a Knight’s rigid upright posture on automatic. “Yes, my lord. There were significant damages to the kingdom during the invasions, and the– the livestock and harvest that would usually be offered don’t exist now.”

“Invasions?” the dragon asked, which was frankly not the part of that statement Virgil had expected their attention to catch on. “Was your previous lord negligent in her duties?”

“N–No,” Virgil tried tentatively, unsure what the right answer was here. “The matters were between humans, and our… previous lord… wasn’t to be bothered with trifles like that.”

The dragon’s brow furrowed, and when they huffed through their nose, a small puff of smoke escaped along with the sigh. “I see,” was all they said, their deep, rumbling voice sounding almost contemplative.

“Currently, our people only barely have enough to survive,” Virgil continued after a moment, trying to stick to the script he’d tricked out of Janus. “In the hopes of– of keeping the kingdom alive, so that you’ll have many years of tribute in the future, we ask that you show mercy and accept an alternative offering this year.”

The dragon’s ears pricked in interest, head tilting slightly. “An alternative offering?”

Deep breaths, now. “Along with heirloom treasures from the royal bloodline, you are offered the– the life of one of His Highness’s closest advisors, with knowledge of all in the kingdom.”

He lifted his chin and forced himself to step forward, spreading his wrists as far as the ceremonial cuffs would allow to make it clear just who was being offered, here. Janus would have made it look elegant, graceful even. Virgil was pretty sure he was only making it look like what it was: a guy in restraints pretending he was fine with his new status as a sacrifice.

The dragon reared back a little, thankfully looking more surprised than murderous. “Does this kingdom usually offer humans as tribute?” they asked, nose scrunching up in a confounded expression

“No, definitely no,” Virgil hurried to say, already grimacing at the idea of setting a precedent. “It’s only in this specific case. Only me.”

“I understand.” The dragon hummed thoughtfully, idly tapping clawed fingers against the stone. “Are any of these heirlooms magically-charged in any way?”

The sinking feeling in Virgil’s gut abruptly got a lot deeper. “No, my lord.”

They sighed in disappointment, clearly uninterested by the offering, and Virgil’s heart nearly seized in his chest at the idea of failing now, of the dragon claiming the original tribute by force and starving their people, of them demanding to see the king punished for the offense, or any number of other nightmarish outcomes.

He took another halting step forward, the sheen of sweat along his skin leaving him chilled in the face of the afternoon breeze. He was well within reach of those huge hands now. “However,” he managed, “there is still magic available in the tribute.”

Under the dragon’s sharp gaze, he couldn’t force another syllable past his clenched teeth. Instead, he held up a single hand and summoned a small orb of flame, shifting the color of the flames to an intense blue in the hopes of showing that he was a strong mage without needing to destroy anything.

His magic stores were considerable, after years of practice keeping them hidden and in reserve. He’d spelled Janus, but that hadn’t burnt through much. Really, it had only drained him emotionally.

The dragon’s pupils expanded as they leaned in closer, inspecting the display with a much more intense version of that same curious expression that they’d worn all along. Virgil swallowed, all his worries about being bitten in half abruptly surging back to the forefront of his mind.

“Oh, wonderful!” the dragon said, and there was a sudden warm weight curling around his back. Virgil turned his head to the side just slightly, and could see those huge claws curving around his shoulders. “Source magic will work much more efficiently than the remnants I could pull from most ancient artifacts, anyhow.”

Virgil forced himself not to try and wiggle out of the grip around him, even when it began lifting him clear off the ground, the dragon’s hand rotating to create a sort of curved cradle underneath him. He knew this would happen, he reminded himself. He’d wanted this over the alternative, and he only had to hang onto his composure for a little longer. Just until he was out of eyeshot of anyone who could tell Janus or Thomas afterwards.

“I accept the kingdom’s tribute and will act as its lord from now on,” the dragon intoned formally, lifting Virgil up further and further.

His heart dropped in horrible terror for a moment, but then he was lifted even higher, until he was staring down at a pair of curved horns. The hand under him tilted, and Virgil scrambled for a grip as he found himself promptly deposited on top of the dragon’s head.

“Hold on tightly,” the dragon warned, “I’ll catch you if you fall, but from this high up, you might pass out from the sudden change in altitude. Hm, I’m not certain humans know about altitude, actually…”

Virgil suspected he might pass out with or without outside interference, but saying as much wouldn’t help him. His gamble had worked, and now he was a mage in the possession of a dragon, as good as dead. He clung onto the horn next to him as the shape under him shifted to something far more reptilian.

They took to the sky, and despite the terrifying vertigo, Virgil turned and watched the kingdom grow smaller and smaller in the distance for as long as he could.

[amateurmasksmith]

The Sides as Guardians: Part 1

(Author’s note: Here we go! Special (brief) appearance of my new head cannon for a sleep-deprived Logan, based on my experience with words being uncooperative at night!)

[Asks: Open]

(also - @loganslowdown4, I saw your ask, thank you! It may be a section or two before I can incorporate it, but I have a bit more setting up to do than I thought!)

___

Virgil jerked awake, heart racing.

Something was wrong. Very wrong.

He didn’t know what, exactly, but he knew it was bad.

He felt his anxiety kicking in, his heart pounding, his breathing speeding up.

‘No. Not the time, Virge,’ he thought, putting a hand out to the staircase railing to try to ground himself.

Wait. What?

He was… in the living room?

In his usual spot for the videos??

And so was everyone else???

“Is it mor-‘scuse me-morning already, kiddos?” Patton tiredly asked, wiping a yawn off his face.

“You are… technically correct, Patton,” Logan said, buffering in exhaustion, “but two…forty-seven is… far from an …optimum time to start the day.”

”What’s going on, where’s Thomas?” Virgil asked, starting to raise his voice in concern.

“Maybe he’s dead!” Remus chimed in with a gleeful grin.

“Nope,” Roman said, quickly putting his finger in his mouth and holding it up, as if to test the breeze, “we’re in a Dreamscape.”

“No, you idiot,” Remus fired back, somehow having removed the art from the wall behind him and taken a bite out of the corner, “We’re in the Mind Palace.”

“I think I know my way around the Imagination, thank you very much,” Roman extra-d in response.

“Eat this,” Remus said, yeeting a chunk of the art at Roman, “and tell me I’m wrong.”

“What?! No!” Roman protested, as a very confused Logan and Patton looked on. Janus was rather enjoying the chaos, and Virgil just rolled his eyes.

“Dammit!” Remus pouted. “Fine, then tell me who pulled us in.”

“I-well-you-tha… Oh.”

With an otherworldly screech, and a rush of displaced air, a spherical black-and-white portal appeared where Thomas normally stood.

“Nope! Not doing this, we need to get out of here - Roman, do your thing.” Virgil exclaimed, tempest tongue in full effect.

“On it!” Roman said, waving his arm to end the scenario.

Nothing happened. He tried again.

“Wha-I-you-rude!” Still nothing.

“Fascinating!” Logan mused, inching towards the portal.

“Careful!” Virgil warned.

Logan nodded in response, stepping closer to examine the swirling pattern of the portal’s center.

As he stepped closer, an oh-so-familiar sound effect played as text appeared in their collective POVs:

[New Quest: Enter the Portal]

Roman’s eyes lit up, and he strode quickly towards to the portal.

Virgil sprinted into him, knocking him off-course.

“No-one is going in the DEATH BALL!”

Remus snorted as Roman readjusted his sash. The portal let out a small screech.

“It’s not an omen, Virgil-ance Wing, it’s a call to adventure!”

Janus looked around the room as Virgil replied, “A call to the void! Do you know what’s through there?”

“Remus,” Janus deadpanned.

“There are two of them?!” Patton exclaimed.

”Dammit.” Virgil sighed, looking around the room, then facepalming. “No… Remus went through the portal.”

Remus, indeed, was nowhere to be found.

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

This Distance Between ‘Probably’ and ‘Certainly’

Ok, here's an idea (sorry in advance if this is too long!): A fic about the ordinary (or, as ordinary it ever is) day-to-day of the Mindscape. Except... We're following a self-aware Janus. – amateurmasksmith

Janus is happy right now. Everyone has been accepted, issues are being healed and fixed. He's friends with the light sides, he got Virgil back and Remus hasn't left him. Janus is genuinely happy...And it scares him. He's waiting for the other boot to drop. He's waiting for the one thing to take his happiness from him like what always happens. He's flinching at every disagreement, freezing at every mistake he makes, and holding his breath when things get quiet or when Thomas has a bad day. He knows something is going to take his happiness away and he's scared. But the others notice and are there to reassure him that they're not going anywhere. 💜- insanitori

Read on Ao3

Warnings: none!

Pairings: none!

Word Count: 1594

You know what they say: if it seems like it's too good to be true, it probably is.

No one knows that better than Janus. Come on, he's Doubt, Deceit, whatever you want to call it, it's his job to know when something's afoot. Even when the lie is perfect, undetectable even, he'll know. He was made for it, after all, it would be quite a feat to be able to get something past him. He's fairly smug about it too, able to do everything from tell who ate the last muffin—Logan—to who spray-painted dicks all over the Imagination door—Virgil—to who's been telling everyone they're fine when they're actually on the verge of a mental breakdown—everyone.

So when there comes a time that everyone is just…happy, it sends a chill up his spine.

There are no arguments. No barely-hidden resentments. No double meanings behind words, no thinly veiled threats, no glares at backs when the others aren't looking.

Everyone's…fine.

Now, it's not perfect. There are still things that need to be fixed and problems that need to be solved, a few of them are…testier when alone together as opposed to with the group, and there are still rifts and rough patches that lead to people needing to go calm down before it can be properly resolved.

But it's…good. It's really good.

Which means that it won't stay good.

Nothing lasts forever, especially nothing good, and the fact that they're all on an upswing means that when it inevitably takes a turn for the worse, the fall will be all the more devastating. Admittedly, this is a tad dramatic.

Janus snorts. "You would be equally as dramatic, you know."

"Huh?" Patton turns. "What was that, kiddo?"

"Nothing, nothing." Janus smiles—must not have been quiet enough. "Don't mind me."

Patton gives him a bit of a strange look but passes it off as just Janus being Janus and turns back to the conversation. They're all in the living room, talking about what they're going to watch for the next movie night. Roman and Remus are advocating for one of the new Disney movies, Logan is asking for a nature documentary, Virgil said he'd be fine with anything, and Patton, well…

"Patton doesn't have an opinion."

"J?" Virgil nudges him. "You gotta speak up, bud, otherwise we won't hear you."

"No, no, just talking to myself."

"Do you have an opinion?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact: you should embroider ACAB on your hoodie."

Virgil snorts. "Okay, I will, but I meant about movie night."

"Oh. On that, no, I don't, as long as we get to snack while we watch."

"Snek gotta snack," Remus says as Roman nods seriously, "them's the rules."

"Speaking of rules, have we checked content lists for everything?" Patton shudders. "I'm not in the mood for nightmares tonight."

"Aw," Remus whines, "but those are fun?"

"What? No, they aren't!"

"Yes, they are!"

"They are not!"

Roman just whacks Remus in the face with a pillow and Logan rolls his eyes. "We won't get anywhere if you start derailing us at this point, Remus, I—Janus, what are you staring at?"

"Oh, just the wall."

"I see that. May I ask why you're staring at that particular wall?"

"No reason."

Sure, Janus, sure.

His mouth tugs up into a smirk and he turns back to the conversation. "Logan, you should know better than anyone that we rarely stay on the rails at the best of times. That's not why people watch these."

Logan frowns. "Watch what, Thomas's videos?"

"Those too."

"He's being cryptic again," Virgil stage-whispers, "just let him do it."

Logan just shakes his head and moves on—smart. "I've taken the liberty of looking up the content warnings, yes, and…well, I've seen this one already and—Remus, I think you'll be more alright with it than you think."

Remus narrows his eyes. "Go on?"

"Oh, hey, wait," Virgil says, scrolling through something on his phone, "is this the one where the dude is basically in love with an octopus for like, two hours?"

"Sold!" Remus scrambles onto the couch and crouches there like a little hellion. "We're watching this."

Roman, the only other proponent for the Disney movie, is too busy laughing his head off to make any sort of convincing argument.

"Well, then," Logan says, looking entirely too pleased with himself, "I'd say we're in agreement."

"If Remus starts trying to recreate parts of this at two in the morning, L, I swear to god I'll never forgive you."

But the threat is empty and Logan knows it, chuckling and reaching out to ruffle Virgil's hair. Virgil lets out an indignant squawk and flails out, making Logan laugh more.

See? Everything worked out fine. If this had happened before, it would have boiled down to a screaming match with insults being thrown left and right and eventually, everyone settling down to watch whatever it was while quietly stewing in resentment that someone made it so hard to just get along.

But they're here now. They made it.

Janus scoffs. "Yeah, for how long?"

Of course, the problem with holding a hammer is that everything looks like a nail.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

If a reflex becomes too ingrained, it runs the risk of being applied to situations where it has no business being applied. The brain is like a muscle, after all—

"It's an organ, not a muscle."

—like a muscle, like one, where habits can form just as easily as your body instinctively turning to walk down one path as it's where you always go.

"That's a stupid metaphor."

Metaphors, unlike similes, are when you directly state that something is something else, unlike a simile, where you compare something to another thing using 'like' or 'as.'

"Oh, aren't we smug."

"Janus?" He turns, raising an eyebrow at a very confused Roman. "Who are you talking to?"

"Oh, no one important."

"That's the second time you've done that," Patton says, frowning a little, "are you sure you're okay? You can talk to us, you know."

It occurs to him in this moment that often believing that something will happen can slide very quickly into behaving in a way that makes it happen.

"Oh, fine," Janus mutters under his breath before raising his voice, "I'm…worried."

"About what, the documentary?" Logan shifts his weight to face him properly on the couch. "It's got plenty of perfectly sound science and the cinematography is beautiful—"

"No, not about that. I, um…" This is much harder out loud. "Shush, you, I'm—I'm worried about…us."

"Us?" Virgil nudges him. "Say more?"

"We're…we're all getting along," he mumbles, hiding his face, "and it's—it's good. We're not fighting, we're talking, we're…it's good."

"I think so too," Patton says gently, "what about it is worrying you?"

"…what are we going to do when it isn't good anymore?"

The room is quiet for a moment. Then Logan lets out a slow breath.

"Janus," he says quietly, "can you look at me, please?"

Janus looks up.

"Thank you." There's a soft smile on Logan's face. "It's not going to be easy. We're imperfect, as everyone is, but we're trying. Do you…you do want things to keep being good, don't you?"

Does he?

"Yes, of course I do."

"That's good. So do we."

"Logan's right," Roman adds, smiling a little at Janus's look of surprise, "it's going to be work, I'm not saying it's not, but…we can do it. Right?"

"Come on, J," Virgil teases, nudging him again, "don't be all doom and gloom. We get to watch Remus laugh at stupid people, that's always fun, right?"

"That is fun."

"It's gonna be okay, J," he continues, "we're okay right now, and that's what matters, yeah?"

"Just because something's impermanent doesn't mean it's not important!" Patton adds.

"…I suppose you're right."

"Of course we are." Remus claps his hands. "Now come on, I want to watch this thing."

"Right, right, here, let me help—"

"Patton, let's go to the kitchen, I think the snek needs his snacks."

"On it!"

"Hey," Roman mumbles as he comes to sit next to him, "it's gonna be okay, yeah? I get it, I—I'm not the best at this either."

"Yeah."

Roman pats his leg. "We'll figure it out, okay?"

"Okay."

If it seems too good to be true, it probably is. Then again, the distance between 'probably' and 'certainly' is enough to make a little home.

"Proud of yourself for that one, aren't you?"

"Okay, who are you talking to?"

"Don't worry about it."

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[i-am-bitterly-jittery]

If Love Is A Game, I’m Going To Win

Word count: 3652

Rating: gen

Pairings: Prinxiety, Logicality

Warnings: if you’re looking for some fluffy Prinxiety endgame this is not it my dudes, self-discovery, minor swearing, crying, angst

Aromantic!Roman agenda 💚💚🤍🩶🖤

~~~START~~~

It started on a normal day. Roman spent the morning writing ideas in his Hopes and Dreams journal for more videos Thomas could create, then he spent the afternoon adventuring in the Imagination. Where it got weird was when he headed down to the common room to have dinner.

Logan and Patton were kissing in the kitchen. Logan and Patton were kissing. Roman didn’t know that kissing was a thing that they — as different facets of Thomas’s personality — were allowed to do.

“Oops, sorry did you need something, kiddo?” Patton asked once he noticed Roman standing in the doorway gawking at them.

“You two were kissing,” Roman observed dumbly.

“Yes,” Logan confirmed, straightening his glasses and entering teacher-mode. “That is an act that two romantic partners commonly engage in.”

“We’re allowed to have romantic partners!?” Oh, wasn’t this day getting better and better? Roman loved romance but he hadn’t realized that he was allowed to participate in it!

“Sure, kiddo, why wouldn’t we be?” Patton giggled, cuddling up to Logan. They were adorable and if Roman wasn’t so focused on his new revelations, he would have probably jumped right in to demanding to know everything about how they got together.

“I don’t know, I guess I just never thought about it before. Romantic partners,” Roman mused to himself as he sunk out, meal forgotten.

Romantic partners. Oh boy did Roman need a romantic partner by yesterday. Why hadn’t he thought of this sooner!

Romantic partners!

Logan and Patton were obviously out since they were already spoken for.

Remus was a hard-pass-not-in-a-million-years-Roman-would-rather-duck-out-than-date-him no.

Janus was… there was a time when Roman greatly enjoyed the way Janus stroked his ego. That was before Roman realized that it was all just lies to further Janus’s own agenda. So Janus was out.

That left Virgil.

Virgil would be perfect! He was the introvert to Roman’s extrovert. The emo to his prep. The pessimist to his optimist. Plus, they would have this whole enemies-to-friends-to-lovers vibe that made Roman giddy.

Yeah, Virgil was perfect.

Now all Roman had to do was ask him out.

A public display of affection was the obvious route to take, but Roman didn’t think that Virgil would appreciate that very much. Still, a musical serenade would be best. Plus flowers. And chocolate. Oh, and balloons. And confetti!

Roman grabbed his Hopes and Dreams journal and began writing down all his ideas. By the end of the hour, he had almost the entire thing planned out, all he had to do now was set it up and do it.

The actual event had to be pushed back a couple days due to Thomas’s filming schedule, but less than a week after Roman had first seen Patton and Logan kissing, it was time. He knocked on Virgil’s door bright and early in the morning, he had the whole day planned out and there wasn’t a moment to wait!

Except that Virgil didn’t answer the door. So Roman knocked again.

And again.

Finally, after a full five minutes, Virgil wrenched the door open.

“What– oh, hey Princey,” all the annoyance drained from Virgil's face when he spotted Roman. This was going to work. “Is something wrong?”

“Nothing wrong, my Nightmarish Nightingale–” that was a compliment, right? “I had just hoped that you would do me the honor of accompanying me on an adventure to the Imagination today!”

“I– now?” Virgil asked, somewhat reluctantly.

“Of course! I have the whole day planned out and there’s not a moment to waste!”

The hopefulness on Roman’s face was probably what melted the Winter Warlock’s heart because Virgil’s reluctance gave way to resignation.

“There better be food,” he warned, stepping completely out of his room.

“Of course! Anything your spooky heart desires!”

The first stop on their soon-to-be date was a charming little cafe that Roman had set up just outside his castle which was filled with Halloween themed cookies and pastries. After that, they went to the tailors for some new clothes (Roman may slay in his usual outfit, he needed to be absolutely stunning when he actually asked Virgil out, not to mention the fact that Virgil’s usual outfit was in no way appropriate for this soon-to-be incredibly romantic occasion). Then they went to the stables to get their horses for their ride through the countryside on their way to the lakeside picnic Roman had set up as his location to serenade the emo Side.

Virgil, it turned out, did not like horses, and horses, no matter how hard Roman tried, did not like Virgil.

“I am so sorry about that,” Roman apologized after Virgil’s horse finally succeeded in throwing him. He dismounted his own horse in order to help the other Side up and make sure he wasn’t too badly hurt by the fall. “I usually have more control over the animals than that, but there’s something about horses that sometimes gives Remus the edge.”

“It’s fine, Roman, seriously,” Virgil assured him as he tried desperately to brush the dirt from his new suit — a rich purple brocade with black threads woven into an intricate skull pattern. Roman waved a hand and all the dirt faded instantly. “Thanks. Can we just go back now?”

“No!” Roman all but screeched. “No, we’re almost there! I just– I have– please, Virgil?” Roman seized Virgil’s hand imploringly. “It’s just a little bit further, we can walk it in no time.”

Virgil looked down at their joined hands then back up at Roman’s face, his cheeks a little redder than before.

“Just a little further?” He asked reluctantly.

“Barely even five minutes, I swear on my sword.”

Sigh. “Okay. Let’s go.”

“Yay!” Roman pressed on to their destination, never letting go of Virgil’s hand.

He did mentally shorten the way to the lake — he had planned a much longer ride — so as to not break his promise, and they soon emerged into a clearing on the shores of a lake where a picnic was set up on the beach and a small rowboat sat ready at the end of a small dock.

“Oh wow,” Virgil marveled as he took in the scene.

Roman finally dropped Virgil’s hand in order to unpack the picnic basket for them. “Do you like it?”

“It’s beautiful,” Virgil complimented. Roman beamed.

The day was going perfectly other than the horse ride, and Roman couldn’t be happier.

…except that it didn’t quite feel the same way it did when Thomas was partaking in romantic activities. Obviously Roman knew that he wouldn’t feel exactly the same as Thomas did since he was a facet rather than a complex human being, but Roman didn’t even feel the same way that Roman felt during Thomas’s romantic escapades.

But all of that could be pushed to the side because that was Thomas and this was Roman, it was different. It made sense.

After their lunch Roman ushered Virgil onto the boat so that they could get to the next and most important step in Roman’s plan: the serenade. For this serenade Roman had chosen, obviously, I See The Light from Disney’s Tangled. Perfect song, perfect movie, perfect location. At no point did it occur to Roman to explicitly ask Virgil out, the song made it obvious, obviously.

On their walk back to town — which Roman had once again shortened but was still about ten minutes — Roman grabbed Virgil’s hand once more.

“I’m reading this situation correctly, right?” Virgil asked as he stared at the joined hands.

Roman was staring at their hands too. He had held hands with both Virgil and the others on numerous occasions, but this time it felt different. Like he could feel every millimeter on his hand where it was pressed against Virgil’s.

It didn’t feel particularly nice, it just felt overwhelming.

“I certainly hope so,” Roman chuckled as he tried to shake the uneasy feeling. “The rest of the day would be awkward otherwise.”

“You have more planned?” Virgil laughed incredulously.

“Of course! Grand romantic gestures are my specialty!”

Virgil shook his head, but he was smiling, so Roman thought he was enjoying himself. “Do I get to know any of these plans?”

“Most shall remain a surprise, my Melodramatic Melody, but I will tell you that I have fireworks planned for the grand finale, unless you find fireworks too distressing, in which case I could make them quieter, or could change course slightly if you’d prefer.”

“Quieter should work just fine,” Virgil assured him. “Especially if I know they’re coming.”

“As you wish,” Roman smiled as they entered town.

The rest of the day consisted of a leisurely stroll through the palace rose gardens, a private viewing of the Nightmare Before Christmas in the palace’s movie theater, and a romantic candlelit dinner in the Imagination’s finest restaurant. Finally, at the end of the day, a horseless carriage ride around town while muted fireworks lit up the sky in dazzling displays.

“It looks great, Roman,” Virgil commented as he watched the fireworks out the carriage window.

“Not as great as you,” Roman said, enjoying the way Virgil’s face blushed. There were a lot of elements of the day that hadn’t quite felt right, but he always enjoyed watching Virgil blush red under his white foundation.

Eventually, Roman noticed Virgil trying to stifle yawns and had the carriage take them back to the palace. From there they exited the Imagination, and Roman walked Virgil back to his room.

“I had a good time today, Princey,” Virgil smiled as they walked.

“Really?”

“Yeah. Um, if I could just ask one thing, next time you want to spend the entire day doing something, can you give me some heads up? Like, you don’t need to tell me what exactly, but maybe a general idea of what and how long?”

“That’s fair. I may have gotten a bit carried away; I was just so excited.”

“It’s all good. Thanks, Roman.”

Virgil had stopped in front of his door and turned to face Roman somewhat expectantly. It wasn’t until that moment that Roman remembered that goodnight kisses were practically a date staple. He hadn’t considered kissing before now, but faced with the expectation, he panicked slightly.

Instead, he did the first thing that came to mind: he grabbed Virgil’s hand and brought his knuckles to his mouth.

“Farewell and pleasant dreams my Sweet and Sour Lemon Drop!”

Virgil looked a little bemused, but not disappointed by the exchange. “Goodnight my, uh, Dazzling Prince.”

Roman beamed at the term of endearment before turning dramatically and making his way back to his own room. Once he was alone his smile dropped. Virgil had seemed to enjoy their date, but it hadn't quite felt right to Roman.

Clearly, he was doing something wrong.

Maybe he hadn’t been trying hard enough?

Whatever it was, Roman fell asleep lost in thought and his dreams were plagued by imperfect dates, social faux pas, and curses placed by dragonwitches.

Roman was just about ready to crawl out of his skin. It had been two weeks, but still Roman couldn’t shake the feeling that he was fucking up at every turn.

Nothing he did felt right. He and Virgil hung out in the living room, and Roman couldn’t stop wishing Virgil would get tired and leave. They went on dates in the Imagination, and he couldn’t stop wishing that he was on a quest alone.

Even when not in a date-setting, Roman was so hyper aware of where Virgil was that it was driving him batty. If Virgil so much as entered a room that Roman was already in, Roman would tense up until he’d either sat down away from Roman or left again. He was dating Virgil; he shouldn’t be feeling afraid of him!

It had to be some sort of curse!

Virgil, he was certain, had yet to notice Roman’s discomfort. Patton and Logan on the other hand…

“Alright there, kiddo?” Patton asked, having just witnessed Roman practically flinch when Virgil walked past him to the kitchen.

“I’m right as rain, padre!” Roman assured him, aiming for upbeat. Judging by the frown on Patton’s face, he’d missed the mark.

“Are you sure?”

“Now that you mention it, I am feeling a little tired,” Roman yawned, hoping for an easy escape. “I think I might go have myself a little cat nap.”

“Do you want to reschedule our date tonight?” Virgil asked, returning from the kitchen.

“I wouldn’t dream of it, mi amor!” Roman reassured him, kissing Virgil’s knuckles once more. He’d pull that move probably too many times in the past week, but luckily it was very in-character for him, and Virgil had yet to question it. “Just a little nap, and then two hours to do my makeup and I shall be ready to sweep you off your feet!”

He sank out after that in fear that if he stuck around any longer Patton might call him out in front of Virgil. He wasn’t actually tired though, so he instead spent his time making sure their date would be perfect.

Whatever Roman’s problem was, it was clear that he just wasn’t trying hard enough during his and Virgil’s dates, so tonight, under the moonlight, he would finally kiss his boyfriend, and like a fairytale, the curse would be broken, and everything would fall right into place.

It just needed to be perfect.

As he always did when they had a date in the Imagination, Roman picked Virgil up from his room and the two of them walked to the Imagination together. Their date would be a royal ball in Roman’s castle; Virgil was once again dressed in his brocade suit from their first date while Roman had picked out a stunning floor-length red gown with a plunging neckline and a train longer than Thomas was tall.

As they danced, Roman began to regret his choice of date. Virgil was pressed all the way up against him with one hand on his waist and the other in one of Roman’s — it was too much contact and it was making Roman jittery.

A thunderous crack echoed through the castle.

“What was that?” Virgil asked, looking around the ballroom for the source. There was nothing to be seen.

“Probably just Remus playing a game somewhere,” Roman suggested, mentally berating himself for his unexpected lapse in concentration. “Nothing to worry about, my Spooky Sweetheart!”

“If you’re sure.”

“I’m positive.”

The music started back up and the two continued their dance. Roman shifted his focus on his surroundings in an attempt to ignore the unpleasant buzzing Virgil’s touch caused beneath his skin.

All was going well until Virgil started to lean in.

His lips were barely an inch from Roman’s before the ground started shaking. A second, even louder crack tore through the ballroom, and seconds later the north end of the room broke away as though falling from a cliff.

“Roman!” Virgil yelped, staring at the wreckage.

This was a disaster, but Roman had a mission. He just needed to kiss Virgil, and everything would be perfect. He cupped the side of Virgil’s head to turn him towards him then cut off Virgil’s confused sound by smashing their lips together.

There had to be some sort of technique to this, and in the back of his mind, Roman knew that he knew it because Thomas knew it. But the technique didn’t come to him, and Roman ended up just aggressively pressing their mouths together.

Virgil flailed for a few seconds before firmly pushing Roman away. The rest of the castle cracked and fell until Roman and Virgil were left staring at each other in shocked silence, surrounded by the ruins of the castle.

“That always works in the movie,” Roman mused sadly, mostly to himself.

“What works?” Virgil asked, looking thoroughly shaken.

“Kissing,” Roman answered. “It’s supposed to fix everything — break the curse and stuff!”

Virgil opened his mouth, then closed it again. “Roman,” he said slowly. “I need you to be clear about this: what curse?”

“The curse that makes it hard for me to be around you,” Roman shrugged.

Virgil’s face fell, and before Roman could say anything else, he’d sunken out.

“Wow!” A voice mused behind Roman. “That was so much better than what I was going to do!”

“FUCK OFF, REMUS!” Roman screamed. Only silence followed.

It was about an hour later — an hour that Roman spent wallowing in misery and making uncomfortable realizations about himself — that someone knocked on Roman’s door. He opened the door because he was expecting Patton and he could use one of his Patton-ted hugs.

It was not Patton.

“Oh,” Roman sighed dejectedly. “I thought you were Patton.”

“Ah yes well Virgil was crying, and I thought it might be best for Patton to handle him.” Logan replied, seemingly taking little offense at the statement.

“What would you have done if I were crying?” Roman asked. Truthfully, he mostly just felt numb, Logan was probably safe from any overly emotional responses.

“I have a list!” Logan informed him excitedly, pulling out his notebook and flipping to a marked page. “It’s tailored to Patton, but I believe you would find many of the items to be agreeable!”

Roman glanced at the list and yeah, Disney movies and cuddling with someone non-romantically sounded excellent. Much better than it had when he and Virgil had done that exact same thing as a date.

“You got me there, Teach.” He was going for enthusiasm, but he couldn’t have been more off the mark.

“Hmm.” Logan’s eyes surveyed Roman searchingly. “Would you like to tell me what happened?”

“What did Virgil tell you?”

“I did not manage to get much coherent information out of Virgil, though Remus has informed me that you quote ‘flipped your shit’ end quote.”

“I was stupid,” Roman sighed. “Just one, gigantic, prince-shaped idiot! I fucked up worse than when Woody pushed Buzz out the window!”

“That is a very emotional response, with what appears to be an unhealthy dose of bias and exactly zero helpful clues as to what transpired between you and Virgil earlier — unless what you did was push Virgil out of a window.”

“No, I–” Roman choked. “I just– I was so excited by the prospect of having a romantic partner, that I didn’t stop to wonder whether or not I should have a romantic partner!”

Logan’s brow furrowed. “I am afraid I’m not quite following.”

“I think I’m aromantic,” Roman confessed. The word had been sitting heavily in his chest for the past hour, but now that it was out there, he felt the weight had been lifted. “I think I’m more excited by the idea of romance than I am by the experience of it — or at least, me experiencing it — and I know I chose Virgil because he was the most convenient option. I played with his feelings; I am unworthy of the title of Prince.”

“Beating yourself up over guilt is not a productive use of anyone’s time,” Logan stated simply. “Sometimes experimentation is required to learn things about ourselves, and sometimes those experiments accidentally hurt people. The best thing to do is apologize.”

“I know,” Roman sighed, rubbing a hand over his face — his makeup had long since been ruined so it hardly mattered now. “Can we do some of the things on your list afterwards?”

“Of course.”

Patton and Virgil were on the couch in the living room when Roman and Logan found them. Virgil was in Patton’s lap, clinging to him like his life depended on it, and didn’t seem to notice the others’ arrival. Patton sent Roman a reassuring smile.

Roman steeled himself up, mostly helped by the firm but gentle hand Logan had on his shoulder.

“Virgil?”

The Anxious Side froze for a moment before slowly pulling back from where his face was buried in Patton’s shoulder. His eye shadow was smeared across his entire face, but he said nothing.

“I need to apologize to you,” Roman continued, focusing on Logan’s calming presence. “It was not my intention to use you like I did, but I did, and for that I am so very sorry.”

Virgil said nothing.

“I was too excited by the idea of a romantic relationship that it took everything literally falling apart around me to realize that I didn’t want to be in one. You didn’t deserve to be my guinea pig. I hurt you and I will try my hardest to make it up to you because I value your friendship above anything.”

“...okay,” Virgil finally croaked before burying his face in Patton’s shoulder once more.

“I’m very proud of you, kiddo,” Patton smiled at Roman gently. “I think Vee needs some time now, okay?”

“Yeah, alright,” Roman agreed. He still felt awful, but he knew Patton was right.

“May I?” Roman turned to find Logan watching him expectantly.

“Sure,” Roman accepted, though he wasn’t quite sure what Logan was asking.

Logan took his hand — it felt nice when Logan did it, platonically, with no expectations — and sank out. They came up in Logan’s room, where the bookworm’s desk had been temporarily replaced with an in-home theater.

“My library, of course, contains every movie and television program that Thomas has ever seen,” Logan explained as he led Roman over the couch. He sat down and pulled Roman down with him, shifting them both around until he determined them to be in the perfect position — no doubt Logan had boiled cuddling down to a science. “We can watch anything you would like.”

“Moana?” Roman requested. He didn’t think he could watch a romance-heavy movie right now.

“Of course,” Logan promised.

Despite how poorly it had all gone down, platonically cuddling with Logan while watching Disney movies was the most content Roman had been in weeks. He drifted off to sleep to the sounds of Auli’i Cravalho and The Rock returning the heart of Te Fiti.

~~~END~~~

Vaguely based off of the six months in high school where I had a 🤢 boyfriend 🤮 (it was a time 🙃), and the fact that my college roommate (who I’m not sure is aromantic but def has the vibes) calls tinder her “game”

General taglist

@royalty-of-all-things-snuggly @pixelated-pineapple @arsonic-knight @misunderstood-shadowling

[marvelmaniac715]

I’m a big fan of Thomas Sanders and his Sanders Sides theory, so here’s a short thing I wrote based on this YouTube comment I saw one time that suggested that since Patton and Janus are essentially parallels of each other (Morality and Deceit) maybe the two share similar traits such as a fatherly instinct when it comes to Virgil? For the sake of this piece of writing, just assume that when a new side is ‘born’ they start as a baby, okay? Thanks :). This is sort of Janus’s monologue when he meets Virgil for the first time, please be kind, I’m not the best at writing monologues 😂:

Oh, he’s opening his eyes, come quick, get the camera! What’s that Remus? Where did I leave it? It should be on the dresser, get it quickly, I don’t want to miss this moment.

Not so loudly, you idiot! Now he’s- oh, please don’t cry, sh, I know, I know, the world can be big and scary, but I’m here, you don’t need to be afraid. You’re safe, little one, you don’t need to cry.

What beautiful eyes you have! You’re too little to help Thomas right now, but when you’re big enough, he’s going to love you, I just know it. To be honest, I don’t know what type of side you are, only that you were born as a dark side so you’re not going to have an easy time making friends with the light sides, except maybe Patton because he’s too soft for his own good. They think that we’re bad for Thomas, that we’re trying to hurt him when really we’re just trying to protect him. That’ll be your job too, one day, little one.

Sure, logic, morality and creativity are valued traits for any human being, but we dark sides contain the facets of our host that he maybe doesn’t want to acknowledge but are still important factors in his development. I’m Janus, or, Deceit. My job is a little too complex for somebody as small as you to understand, but what I will say is that lying can be useful. Remus over there, the one eating the deodorant, is the dark side of Thomas’s creativity - his intrusive thoughts. He’s a little rabid, but he’s a very important aspect of Thomas’s personality nonetheless.

You’re certainly looking around the room a lot, huh? What are you searching for, little guy? You still don’t look too happy, maybe you’re paranoia or something like that? I still haven’t named you, don’t look at me like that, I need a second to think about it. Hmm, you’re still looking around the room, which suggests that you’re paranoia, or… what’s that word Thomas learnt about at school this week? Oh, that’s right, anxiety, thank you Remus. That must be your side.

We can’t just call you ‘Anxiety’ though, that wouldn’t be right. We need a new word, like, like… vigilance. That’s what you’re displaying by searching for danger in the room right now, isn’t it? Vigilance is a good word for you, but too long to be your name, let’s see what I can do.

Vigilance… ‘Lance’? No, you don’t look like a ‘Lance’. ‘Gil’? It’s getting better, but still not quite right. Vigil… Vir- Virgil. Wait, that’s it, we’ll call you Virgil. Do you like the sound of that? You’re smiling for the first time- Remus, take a photo- so that means you must like it. Virgil it is, then. Welcome to the world, little Virgil, you’re going to do incredible things.

[fangirlwriting-stories]

Protector

Chapter One

Chapter Twenty:

Turns out it was pretty easy to lose track of time in The Imagination.  There also wasn’t any kind of sun or sky in Remus’ half, just a blank void above his head, so Virgil had no way of knowing it was morning unless he checked the time.

Or unless, as an alternative option, Roman showed up looking angry and confused.

“And just what exactly are you doing here?”

Virgil yelped and turned around from where he was shoving trash into a bag.

Roman was standing there with his arms crossed, holding Virgil’s dream journal.

Virgil stood up and glared at him, because it had been a long day and he was tired and hungry.  “I’m not even on your side,” he snapped.  “Just leave me alone.”

Roman held up the journal, and Virgil’s gaze flicked to it.

“You could have just told me,” Roman snapped.  “That you get them too.”

Virgil stared at him.  “What?”

“You could have just talked to someone,” Roman snapped.  “But no, you have to back us into a corner for no reason!”

Virgil bristled.  “No reason?”

“You could have just told me that you get them too,” Roman said, gesturing wildly with the journal and starting to pace back and forth.  “We could have talked about it, Anxiety.  We could have worked something out.  But you just wanted to hurt Thomas, didn’t you?”

Virgil looked down at the journal, which was mostly full of nightmares about Remus getting hurt.

He looked back up at Roman.  “Too?”

Roman scowled.  “That is not the point,” he snapped.  “You wanted to hurt Thomas, and for what?  Remus?  Because you were worried about Remus?  Why would Remus be in any danger?”

Virgil looked down at the journal, now just baffled.  “You… but you read it, didn���t you?”

“They’re just nightmares, Anxiety,” Roman snapped.  “They’re not real.”

Virgil swallowed.  “Right.”

“We’re supposed to put Thomas first,” Roman snapped.  “That’s what we’re supposed to do.  You are supposed to put his safety first.  But you put Thomas in danger for a smaller, insignificant part of him?  Are you really that much of a failure as his Anxiety?”

Virgil clenched his teeth.  “Shut. Your Goddamn. Mouth. Roman.  And don’t talk about things you don’t understand.”

“Things I don’t understand?  You think I don’t care about Re— you think I don’t understand getting a few nightmares?  It’s not my fault you can’t care about one useless side without fucking everything up—”

Virgil’s fist slammed into Roman’s jaw before he even realized he was moving towards him.  Roman cried out in surprise and pain and jerked backwards, putting his hand up to his face.

“I told you,” Virgil growled.  “Not to talk like that about Remus.”

Roman grit his teeth.  He vanished the journal away and yanked out his sword, turning back to Virgil.  “And what are you going to do about it, villain?”

“I don’t know,” Virgil snapped.  “Last time I fucked off and let Thomas deal with the consequences.  You wanna roll those dice again?”

A slight bit of fear sparked in Roman’s eyes, and it jolted something in Virgil’s head enough to make him realize that he’d just hit Roman.

His eyes widened, and he took a step back.  Roman seemed surprised at the sudden shift, and lowered his sword slightly.

“I—” Virgil said, staring at the harsh red mark on Roman’s face that was going to bruise.  He looked down at his hands, still clenched into fists, and they sprang open and started shaking at the same time.  “Wait.  No.  No, I didn’t— I didn’t mean— no, no, I didn’t want to—”

He took a couple steps back and tripped on a piece of uneven ground, landing flat on his back.

Roman, seemingly despite himself, moved forward.  “Um.  Anxiety?”

Virgil scrambled upright and dug his hands in his hair, pulling hard on it.

“Anxiety!” Roman said in surprise, reaching out and pulling Virgil’s hands away from his hair.  “Stop it you moron, you’re going to hurt yourself!”

Virgil caught Roman’s hands and shoved his panic down, pulling himself up so he could look at Roman’s face.  “I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry,” he said, reaching for Roman’s face, and maybe the panic wasn’t gone entirely because he was breathing way too fast.

Virgil, before he could think about it, sank them both out to the kitchen, which was thankfully empty, and reached quickly into the freezer, pulling out an ice pack and immediately turning and pressing it to Roman’s face.

“I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m so sorry,” he said again, though it wasn’t really helping his breathing and Roman looked too stunned and confused to really say anything.

“I’m sorry I— I’ll go.  I’ll go I’m sorry just— I’m sorry.”

Virgil sank out to his room before Roman could say anything in protest, curled into a ball on his bed, and waited for his world to stop falling apart around him.

…

Eventually Virgil fell asleep, and when he woke up he felt— well, not better, but he wasn’t having an anxiety attack anymore.

He didn’t climb up from bed, even though it was well past eleven at night and it was technically time for him to go eat breakfast.

He’d hit Roman.  He’d hit him in the face.  What was wrong with him?  He was supposed to protect the core sides.  That was his entire job, to protect the core sides and Thomas from sides that wanted to hurt them so badly.  He wasn’t supposed to just throw that aside and do it himself.

Virgil let out a sob and wrapped his arms around his legs.  Of course Roman had yelled at him, he was a failure as Anxiety.  He couldn’t even protect Remus without making a mess of things, and when Roman just tried to point that out to him, Virgil hurt him.  Was it any wonder everyone had always hated him, if he was going to do stuff like this, he deserved it.

Virgil curled into a tighter ball to try and muffle his cries.

He probably would have stayed in bed all night if his stomach hadn’t started growling and reminded him he hadn’t eaten anything since early the night before and he really needed to eat something to not die.

So, finally, he pulled himself out of his ball, pushed himself to his feet, and headed to the bathroom to fix his makeup, which was no doubt running down his face.

Sure enough.  It didn’t take him terribly long to fix his makeup, as he’d mastered it over the years.  He both needed the skills to hide bruises and scaring, and it also just looked cool as hell, which would have been worth it on its own.

He headed quietly down the stairs, only to find a light on in the kitchen, because the universe could never give him a fucking break.

Logan was sitting at the table, drinking a glass of water, and he gave Virgil a cold look as he entered.  Virgil headed straight for the fridge, ignoring him as best he could, and pulled out a carton of eggs to make some scrambled ones.

He hadn’t really planned on acknowledging Logan at all, even after he finished making his eggs and set them on the plate to eat.  But when he heard the sound of a chair being pushed back from the table, and turned to see Logan standing like he was going to go back to his room, Virgil found himself reaching out for him.

“Logan!”

Logan turned to give Virgil another cold look.  “Leave me alone, Anxiety.”

And with that, he sank out before Virgil could even try to ask his questions.

He hadn’t even realized he had them, really, but he did.  When he pushed past the overwhelming guilt that came with having hurt Roman, he had questions.

Roman had implied he got nightmares about Remus being hurt too.  But why in the world would he?  Roman didn’t care about Remus enough for that, or Virgil hadn’t thought he did, at least.  Was Remus… transferring some kind of feelings over somehow?  Was that something the two of them could do?  Was Remus subconsciously sharing with Roman when he was afraid of the others?

Did Roman have the first clue how unfair it was if that was the case?  Virgil would kill to have a way of being certain whether or not Remus was scared.  And Roman just brushed it off because “They’re just nightmares, Anxiety, they’re not real”?

Virgil buried his head in hands.  Maybe he didn’t brush it off.  If that was the case, that had to be what he meant when he talked about “Capital N Nightmares” to Janus.

Janus.  Would Janus know what Roman meant?  Not that that mattered, Virgil couldn’t get clarification from him.  But then why hadn’t Janus checked on Remus?

“They’re just nightmares, they’re not real.”

Virgil could so easily imagine Janus reassuring Roman in that way.  And of course Janus was the one Roman went to.  Janus would have been the side Roman had best access to who knew Remus the best.  And Janus, as the fucking Denial and Deceit he still was, decided “They’re just nightmares, they’re not real.”

Except they were.  They were, and even if they weren’t, wouldn’t it have been better to check?  Just to be safe, shouldn’t they have checked?

How much quicker, how much easier would Remus have gotten to safety if one of them had just bothered to make sure regular recurrent nightmares about Remus being badly hurt didn’t mean anything?

Because… because they would have cared, right?  Roman would have cared that Remus was hurt?  If he had consistent nightmares about it?

Oh, whatever.  It’s not like it really mattered at this point.  They were going to hate him, and there was nothing he could do about it anymore.  He probably deserved it.

Virgil pulled his head up and started to eat his eggs.  He’d go back to Remus’ Imagination after and finish with those trash bags he’d never had the chance to throw away.

And then he could start cleaning again, which sounded exhausting.  But he wanted it to be clean when Remus got there, at least as clean as it could be, considering Virgil couldn’t do anything about structural damage.

He finished his eggs as quickly as he could, and then headed towards Remus’ Imagination, trying to prepare himself for another long day of hauling trash around.

But when he opened the door, he was met with a clear landscape and no sign of the trashbags from yesterday.

Virgil blinked at the expanse in front of him.  The trash was gone, and there wasn’t any damage to the ground anymore either.  What in the world had happened?

He walked further in, trying to find any kind of sign for what was going on.  When he reached the area he was pretty sure he’d left the trash bags in yesterday, he found a note sitting on the ground.  It probably would have blown away if there was any semblance of wind at all.

The note read “You’re welcome.  Tell anyone and I’ll deny it” in flowery fancy calligraphy that could only belong to Roman.

Virgil stood up again and looked around.  Why would Roman do that?  Virgil had screamed at him and hurt him and been a total nightmare.  Why would he clean up Remus’ Imagination?  He hadn’t even seemed to want anything to do with the place before.

Why wasn’t he angry and snappy and self-righteously angry like Virgil had expected him to be?  Hadn’t he been proven to be right all along?  This didn’t make any sense.

Virgil sighed and sat down on the ground, looking around at the nothingness around him, that was now ready for whenever Remus wanted to use it.  Roman might not like knowing he helped with that when Remus started using it.  But then, wouldn’t he have assumed Virgil cleaning it meant Remus was going to use it soon?

But then why would he help Remus on purpose?  None of his actions made any damn sense.

Virgil flopped back onto his back.  Maybe he could lay here for a while and then the world would make sense again.

He kind of doubted it, though.

...

Chapter Twenty-One

[logically-asexual]

One more time with feeling

summary:

Part one of this series is 'I can tell I've rotted in your brain', about Logan being slowly pushed away over the years until one day he is kicked out of Thomas's conscious mind and becomes the orange side.

This is part two, about Logan finally coming back.

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Chapter 4

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words: 2250

All day Thomas could feel the hours passing and, even though his digital watch didn’t make any sound, he could hear the ticking of each second, anxiously waiting for the day to be over. It just wouldn’t end. At least the sun was beginning to set. 

As he walked towards the stairs, he got a call from the office. His coworker announced that the new props they ordered arrived, which confused Thomas. 

“What props?”

“Oh, you know, the smoke machine and the swords?”

Bingo, Virgil thought. 

Thomas sighed, dragging a hand across his face. “I thought we agreed we wouldn’t be getting those now, we needed to prioritize paying rent for the office this month.”

“You didn’t say that.”

Virgil interceded in Thomas’ head. “Are they calling you a liar?”

“Are you calling me a liar?” Thomas accused into the phone.

“No! I mean… I never heard that. I was trying to do something good for the team by ordering them early!”

“Oh, Thomas, they need to do something good for the team because you never do anything for them.” Virgil taunted. 

“That’s not true!” Thomas said. 

“Excuse me?” 

“No, not you, I mean,” Thomas stuttered, turning back to the phone, “you should have asked, I think we’ve been spending too much for this video.”

“Hey!” the coworker said, “Why should I have to read your mind? We’re all doing our parts, maybe you should have been more clear!”

“What?” 

“Uh oh, Thomas,” Virgil shook his head, “I think someone is not doing a great job at asserting his authority.”

Thomas was feeling the anxiety in his chest, lungs stressing for air. Was he a bad team leader? But that was so unfair! Danny hadn’t been to their last two meetings anyway, and Thomas had still emailed them with all that had been discussed. 

“What do you want from me then?” he asked Virgil, still speaking out loud. 

“Well you could be more respectful about the hard work I do,” the voice over the phone replied. 

Virgil snickered. 

“Excuse me?” Thomas asked. 

Patton rose up. “Oh hey!” He smiled. “We’re having a little chat with a friend?”

“No,” Thomas continued, “I know you’ve worked hard and I appreciate that, I just don’t know what we’re going to do, we really needed that money.” 

“Well you should have thought about that before asking me to place the order. You know, you often assume that I can just guess what you’re thinking but it’s not that—”

Thomas rubbed his nose between his eyes, tuning the other out. You don’t get it, he thought. 

“Are you going to pick up a fight, Thomas?” Virgil asked.

“What? No, Thomas, remember fighting is bad!” Patton replied. 

Thomas covered the phone with his hand. “Guys, be quiet, I need to solve this.” 

“And how are you going to do it, Sanders?” 

“Invite them to lunch and I’m sure we can solve anything with a sweet treat.” Patton suggested. 

Thomas ignored him, noticing the coworker was still talking. 

“—and I don’t know how you expect us to read all those emails you send, I'm sure everyone else in the office only says they read them but is lying about it—“ 

“What do you have to say to that, Thomas?” Virgil stared at him, daring him to say something, but knowing Thomas wouldn’t be able to. 

Thomas could feel sweat gathering on his forehead. “Dammit,” he whispered. 

“—like, I don’t know what the meetings are for if you’re just going to send everything written down anyway, and what is written isn’t even useful to—“

Come on, now that’s just stupid. 

He couldn’t say anything mean out loud, he wasn’t physically capable and it was pointless. Virgil was just mocking him, his Anxiety would never let him say something like that. But what was the alternative? He couldn’t leave it like this. 

Roman rose up now. “I sensed drama, what’s going on?”

“Thomas wants to insult and ruin his relationship with one of the coworkers and the office.” Virgil explained. 

“That's not true, Thomas is going to think of a way to resolve this conflict peacefully and prioritizing friendship above all!” Patton corrected him. 

“Well that’s boring.” Roman leaned back, disappointed. Then he smiled. “We should just make up some juicy gossip about them that makes Thomas look good while they quit on their own!”

Thomas sighed and spoke into the phone again. “Okay, hey. Let’s talk about this later, alright? I’ll call you back.” Then he hung up without waiting for an answer and tossed the phone to the couch. His shoulders fell as he took a deep breath.

“Well, that went well,” Virgil said.

“I told you before, Thomas,” Roman shrugged, “if you want a job well done you have to do it yourself. But I say we seize this opportunity and take as much advantage as we can of our new instruments! That sword was destined to be mine, fate just had to bring us together.”

“No, Roman, I–”

“Yeah! Let’s turn this little mishap into something positive, kiddo. That’s the attitude!”

“No!” Thomas insisted. “We won’t be able to pay rent if we don’t return those and I’ll have to get the money from my own pocket, and I’ll still lose the money from the shipping. I can’t just do that any time, personally I’m not doing great financially, either.”

“So, what? You’re gonna fire them?” Virgil asked. 

“I’m sure they had good intentions, son, give them another chance!”

Thomas threw his head back. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I thought they would read my emails after the last conversation we had about how they were important to me. I said it in the kindest way possible!”

“Maybe you’re not cut out for this and should leave this life behind and move into the forest.” Anxiety suggested. 

“No…” Thomas pouted. “There’s gotta be another way. I… I just gotta be honest. No overly nice and permissive language,” he turned to Patton, “no running away from conflict,” then to Virgil, “and the problem is their fault, they should fix it, not me,” he finally turned to Roman. 

“So what now? Are we done yet?” Roman asked, looking at himself in a handheld mirror. 

“I have to call them and just tell them that…” He paused. “That… the truth is that… that they should…” Thomas groaned. “What was the word from that Spongebob episode? When Plankton told him to be more… something? As…”

“Assuring?” Patton tried. 

“Assassin?” Roman followed. 

“Asshole.” Virgil deadpanned, earning a pained cry from the Dad. 

“Assertive!” Thomas finally said with a laugh. “That was the word I was looking for. You know, strong and firm and confident and decisive and—” 

As he spoke, turned towards Roman and Patton, he didn’t notice Logan appearing behind him. 

“—and emphatic and stro—oh my goodness gracious!” Thomas stumbled back towards the window when he saw the new Side standing in his living room. 

Logan rolled his eyes, landing on Virgil, who almost smiled at his presence. He was still wearing what he did in the Dark Side: black pants and combat boots, a dark blue leather jacket, fingerless gloves, and the makeup Remus had put on him. 

“Greetings, Thomas.” Logan said as he crossed his arms. 

Roman laughed, somewhat nervously. “Well looks like someone’s upgraded from Microsoft Nerd to Microsoft Edge–” 

“I’d appreciate it if the first words I hear upon coming here weren’t some degrading insult.” Logan interrupted. 

“Woah, woah,” Patton joined. “Why don't we all stop for a moment to clear our heads…”

“As if either of you knew a thing about thinking clearly.” Logan muttered, but couldn’t say more before Thomas gathered himself back. 

“Uh… What is going on?” Thomas’ widened eyes looked between his Sides.

“I’m here to assist you with your situation.” Logan replied.

“And you are…?”

Rather than angry, Logan’s expression reminded Virgil of a high school teacher, when none of the students had understood the instructions for the third time in a row and he was contemplating quitting his profession altogether. 

After a few deep breaths, Logan opened his eyes again, looking straight into Thomas’. “I am Logan, your…” Logan still struggled to name his role as an emotion, “Assertiveness, if you will.”

“Logan?” Thomas’ mouth was agape as he took a step closer. He averted his eyes, the memories of his logical Side suddenly coming back to his mind. “Logan!” He repeated to himself. “You…” He trailed off. 

“I am here because I thought you had an issue you wanted to resolve. So if we can have a civilized discussion–” 

“You abandoned me!” Thomas suddenly exclaimed.

Logan felt the beating of his heart speed up. So much, he worried the other Sides in the room could hear it. “Listen, we both want the same thing, and that is for you to be productive so if we can just get this one thing done, we don’t have to get into arguments about who abandoned who and–”

“Excuse me?!” Thomas’ voice only got louder. “You think I abandoned you?” He scoffed, then turned to the other Sides. “Wh-What is this? Why didn’t any of you tell me about this? I… I didn’t know you were here all this freaking time! Doing nothing while I struggled alone!”

Roman stuttered a defensive comment about how they weren’t really struggling, as Patton tried to tell them not to raise their voices. 

“Thomas,” Virgil said more firmly. “Calm down.”

Thomas tried to obey, standing still and trying to even his breathing. “That’s what you were trying to do the other night,” he whispered. “For me to summon Logic.” He turned to Logan, who now wouldn’t look him in the eye. “But you’re not Logic anymore.” 

“I am not.” Logan confirmed.

“Then why didn’t you just say so?” Thomas asked Virgil. 

“I couldn’t.”

“Why?” He insisted, before realization struck him. “It was Deceit… Deceit, goddammit! The Dark Sides! I forgot about all of them? H-How? Why?” His hands were on his head, his eyes wide, and he walked in circles looking between his Sides, waiting for one to explain anything.

“Because you–” Virgil looked not only at Thomas, but also at Roman and Patton. “–didn’t want to think about them.”

“You were in denial, Thomas. That’s how Deceit works,” Logan said, “and you’d have known that if you listened to a single word of what I tried to tell you.” 

“Not this again! We listened to you but I am not going to change what I do for a living!”

“That’s not what I’m saying! Again, if only you’d listen—“

“Hey, let’s try to take a few breaths and maybe with a mug of hot chocolate—“ Patton tried. 

“—you would do the same thing but in a more productive way—“

“How dare you! I am being so productive you wouldn’t even—“

“Ha!” Logan interrupted Roman. “You call that productive? How many videos exactly has Thomas ‘produced’ since you’ve been in charge, huh?” 

“It’s not about the quantity, Miley Citrus! The quality is what distinguishes us now!”

“The quality of the video doesn’t matter if it doesn’t exist!”

“Well, we were working on that before you barged in here.”

“And you were doing an incredible job at it, right?”

The sarcasm threw Roman off for a fraction of a second. “Y–Yes! I was!”

“Were you?” 

Roman groaned in exasperation. “Give me a break, why don’t you, you bitter–”

Logan was about to jump at the other. “How about I break your pretty face?” 

“Okay that’s enough!” Virgil’s thunderous voice paralyzed everyone, including himself. Even Logan would admit he felt the emotional tension that figuratively filled the room as everyone stood quiet.  

Logan nodded, looking at his feet. “You’re right. That has been enough. I’ll leave you alone.” 

“Logan, wait.”

He made the mistake of looking up towards Virgil before sinking out. He wasn’t good at perceiving how others were feeling, but Virgil’s eyes looked bigger than usual, shiny with the humidity of tears that hadn’t formed yet. 

The sight trapped Logan in place. He didn’t know who he feared disappointing the most, Virgil, who trusted him to show up and try, Thomas, who didn’t want to hear a word he said, or himself. Although that last one… He had gotten used to that by now. 

Noticing Logan’s hesitancy, Thomas tried to communicate with him. “I just… I can’t believe you just left me.”

“I didn’t leave you, you pushed me away. You didn’t want to be a tyrant, remember?”

“I didn’t… I didn’t call you—“

The way Logan raised both eyebrows as enough sign for Thomas to stop what he was saying. 

“So what now?” Roman exclaimed, “Are you going to propose we throw paper balls at everyone until you’re happy?” 

Logan took back his previous hesitation. He was leaving. “No, fine. I get it. You don’t want me, I’ll just go.” 

“Logan, wait!” Thomas insisted. 

“What?!” 

“I need you back. Please.” 

There was a pause, and nobody dared to say anything. Logan looked up towards Patton and Roman. None of them uttered a word. 

“I might have wanted something else before but… I see now what I was missing. I still needed you. I need you.” 

“Well… I am here now,” Logan cautiously said. “I’m different than before, but…” He stood a little straighter. “I want to help.” 

Thomas nodded, then turned towards each of the other three Sides, who were all looking expectantly at him. “Okay,” he finally said. “We can try.”

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[gothighunicorntolerance]

In League With Dragons- Chapter 4

Ew, People

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be sure to check out the fantastic art by @incognetomisquito !!!

Logan glided low over the trees and landed about a mile away from the outskirts of the human city, dropping off Nico and Thomas with the promise that he would stay in the area, waiting for them to return. 

    “And please be careful, I—“

    “I know, Logan. We’ll be right back. Love you!” Thomas hugged Logan around the neck for a brief moment before he gestured for Nico to follow him towards the city. 

    The two of them hiked through the thinning underbrush before approaching a shoulder-height stone wall that appeared to surround nearly the entire city.

    “Come on, let’s walk around until we find the entrance,” Thomas said. The two of them walked another mile until they came to a wrought-iron gate with a single guard posted on the other side, their chin tucked down at their chest.

    “Excuse me?” Thomas called.

    The guard looked up, startled. “Eh? What are ya doin’ out there?”

    “We’re travellers, you see, and we wanted to come into the city to purchase supplies,” Thomas explained, not quite lying but certainly not telling the whole truth. “So may we come in? Just for the day, of course.”

    “I suppose so, but what have ya got to buy anythin’ with, if ya don’t mind me askin’?”

    “Oh, you know,” Thomas dug through his bag. “Just some things we’ve found on our travels.”

    Thomas dug through a small knitted drawstring bag he held at his hip and produced a small purple scale, about the size of his thumb, that Nico knew to be from Virgil, and the guard’s eyes widened. 

    “Why!” The guard exclaimed. “I've never seen such a thing! Where’d ya find a beauty like that?”

    “Oh, around. You can find all sorts of magnificent things when you look for them!” 

    “Aye, that’s a bit of wisdom,” the guard nodded as he opened the gates, the old rusted hinges squeaking like mice.

    “Thank you! Have a nice day,” Thomas waved. Nico just nodded at the man.

    “Aye, you too, lads.”

    Nico turned to look one last time at the lone guard, who had returned to leaning against the gatepost, looking barely awake. 

    Some guard, Nico thought. He didn’t even ask our names!

    Nico walked next to Thomas, having to walk a bit faster than normal to keep up with Thomas’s long strides. As the two got closer to the center of the city, the streets became more and more crowded with people going about their day. Nico had never truly been away from Ember’s Valley, and certainly not to such a large city! He looked around in awe of and studied the structures, each being three, four, even five floors tall, with real glass in the windows, not just a hole cut into the wall! In his town it would have been lucky if someone managed an attic with a ladder, but here? Everything was so tall!

    The sun shone down in the city, uninterrupted by either thick leaves or nets draped across the streets to protect from what Nico knew to now be a much smaller threat than anyone back in his town knew. 

    A thought suddenly crept into his mind as he walked between the towering buildings. 

    Maybe… maybe he could stay here! He could find some work, rent an apartment…! Of course Thomas and the dragons had been incredibly kind to him, but Nico still felt he wasn’t cut out to living in the wild, never staying in one place for long. He didn’t have any of the skills Thomas had, be it climbing or crafting, but perhaps here in the city he could make a living!

    He and Thomas entered the city square, a marketplace packed with stalls of vendors and customers. 

    “Here, first we find someone selling jewelry, because they usually want to buy the scales to make a necklace or something that they’ll sell for… a lot. A lot more than any scale is worth, and definitely more than anyone could pay for! I never understood why people want to buy scales for so much.”

    “I always thought it was because scales are so hard to get! Well, and capitalism,” Nico shrugged. “I didn’t know dragons even shed!”

    Thomas hummed and put a hand on Nico’s shoulder—that was another thing Nico appreciated about him, that ability to just casually touch someone and make them feel instantly calmer. Thomas removed his hand and began walking into the marketplace, Nico right beside him. 

    The two strolled past vendors of all kinds— some selling pottery on a blanket spread across the cobblestone, another with a vast array of candles and honey on a proper stall, another with giagantic hunks of goat’s cheese, and those were just the ones that caught his eye. 

    As the two walked deeper into the crowd, Nico’s breath hitched, becoming shakier as more people bumped into him. He looked back at one who had ran into his shoulder, and his vision seemed too swim before him, the crowded cobblestone street folding in on itself, the faces of the countless strangers all morphing into the same horribly familiar face- 

    Someone grabbed his wrist and Nico wrenched his hand away, a burning sensation lingering where he had been touched. 

    “Nico? Hey, are you alright?”

 ��  He couldn’t have responded even if he knew what to say- it felt as if his teeth were glued shut and anything he said would come out sounding like a jumble of vowels without a single full word to be found. 

    “Hey, hey, you’re okay. Can I put my hand on your back?”

    Nico could barely move his head, but forced himself to give a slight nod yes. Then suddenly there was a soft hand on his shoulder, leading him away from the crowd. 

    Before he knew it, he was standing in an alleyway behind market stalls, alone with only Thomas. 

    “Nico, you’re shaking like a wet leaf! Do me a favor and name five things you can see.”

    It took a moment, but Nico felt finally able to articulate something. 

“You,” he stuttered out. 

“And?” Thomas prompted. 

“The wall.”

“Good. Three more things you can see.”

“Uh- a puddle. A stall. People.”

Thomas nodded, and Nico’s vision began to even out, the road becoming level again and the stranger’s faces returning to those of strangers, not the face of—well, he didn’t want to think about it. 

“Now name four things you can feel.”

“You. My shirt. Wind.”

He continued following Thomas’s instructions, gradually taking deeper breaths and stopping his head from spinning—three things he could hear was the hardest one, the noise of the crowd seeming to drown everything else out. Naming two things he could smell was easy: pastries from one stall and cooking meat from another. 

Naming one thing he could taste was a little more difficult- Nico hadn’t realized where the salty tang in his mouth had come from, but then he realized he had been clenching his jaw so hard that he had bitten the inside of his cheek, letting drops of blood into his mouth. 

“Do you feel better now?” Thomas asked.

“I—yes. Thank you. I—I don’t know what happened.”

“You got overwhelmed. It happens, I understand. Do you want to talk about it?”

Nico shook his head. “Later, maybe. Or never, that'd be great. Maybe I could just forget the whole thing.”

“Take your time, you can talk about it when you’re ready,” Thomas raised a hand and brushed Nico’s hair out of his face, his touch making Nico suddenly realize just how cold he was, despite the warm, end-of-summer air. 

“May I hug you?”

In answer, Nico wrapped his arms around Thomas and rested his chin on Thomas’s shoulder. Nico’s shoulders sagged in relief after he realized just how tight he was. 

“I’m sorry,” Nico muttered. 

“What? What for?” Thomas looked down at Nico and tilted his head to the side.

“I’ve wasted time. I’ve slowed you down. I don’t know how to do anything useful—I can’t even knit a square or climb a tree, let alone make anything you can! Stars, I’ve never really been outside my town before… before that day!”

“Hey, stop putting yourself down! I’ll try to teach you anything, the best that I can. Just ask. Or—or you could stay here! Or we could find a smaller or bigger human city, and you could live there, if you want.”

Thomas said the last part in a much smaller voice, almost as if he were afraid of what Nico would choose. 

Nico bit his lip and looked down at his shoes, well-worn and caked with mud on the soles. 

That thought crept into his mind again, burrowing deeper than before. If Thomas had asked before the marketplace, before the suffocating mob of people, before it felt like his rib cage had begun to squeeze the air out of his lungs, before his vision blurred and shifted, he might have been more torn in his decision. 

But after? After he realized he could never go back to being around so many people, after he realized he was even more ill-suited to staying in the towns and cities with a rigid schedule, under the rule of silk-robed pale men who never had to work a day in their lives, whom nothing ever went wrong for?

Living in the wild had been a dream of his when he was a child, but he now knew just how terrifying it could be—the woods full of things that go bump in the night and creatures with the power to harm him even in broad daylight, but… it was also freeing.

Now that he knew what it felt like to fly, who could he go back to simply looking at the sky?

“I want to stay with you.” 

“Oh. Oh! Oh, that’s great!” 

Nico might have never had been able to read people well as a child, had never been able to know what another person was thinking, but he knew now that Thomas… that Thomas had been afraid that Nico would choose to leave. And… maybe Nico himself had been a little afraid of leaving. Nico had always known he was different, with never understanding other people and having rather been in his own head than playing with other children, then later being uninterested in the girls around Ember’s Valley like all the other boys seemed to be. He had thought it was an elaborate joke being played on him, but later he realized he just didn’t like girls the way other boys did. 

All doubt had certainly gone from his mind. He wanted to stay with Thomas, he wanted to stay where he felt he belonged, no matter how different he might be. 

“Thank you for… letting me stay. But—but we came here to do shopping, and you haven’t even sold the scales!”

Thomas shrugged. “You’re more important than the market. But yeah, I do need to do that. You could stay here, in the alley, but…”

Nico shook his head. “I’ll go with you. I’d rather know where you are.”

“That’s what I thought, yeah. Here,” Thomas offered his hand to Nico. 

Nico hesitated just a moment before accepting. 

“Let’s go,” Nico laced his finger’s between Thomas’s as they stepped back into the crowd. He put his other hand on Thomas’s arm, steadying himself, and the feeling of Thomas’s arm distracted Nico from the noise.

Stars above, his muscles are gigantic! Nico shook his head to clear out the thoughts that were about to form, the shake and old habit he had picked up from his mother, his father had always told him. 

A deep breath, another slow count to five, and the two had stopped in front of a market stand, Nico turned his gaze to the sparkling jewelry laid down on soft cloth, each gem reflecting colorful light onto the hands of the stall owner. 

“Looking to buy? Sir, can I interest you in this wonderful ring? Perhaps for this lovely young man?”

Thomas blushed and shook his head. “Looking to sell, actually.”

“Sell?” The jeweler quirked his eyebrow upwards. “What have you got to sell? A family heirloom, perhaps?”

“No, not an heirloom. Here,” Thomas pulled out the small drawstring bag and shook the contents onto the silk tablecloth. 

The jeweler’s mouth opened into a small ‘o.’ “Wherever did you find such marvelous scales! One, two, oh my, five of them! And all whole! What wonderful colors!”

He held up a scale- a small purple one from Virgil- and rotated it slowly, watching the sunlight glint off the smooth surface.

“I’ll give you a hundred for each of them!” The merchant smiled after scrutinizing each one, turning them over in his hands. 

“Two hundred.” Thomas countered. 

“Two hundred! I’ll give you a hundred and fifty, no more and no less.”

“Okay. Deal.”

The jeweler gave one short ha! then held out his hand to shake. “A deal, then.”

“Yes, sir, a deal,” Thomas shook his hand once then pulled back.

The jeweler turned over his shoulder to bark an order at the young boy sitting behind the stand. “You! Count out a hundred fifty for each scale, and I better not see any errors, or else!”

“Yes, sir!” The boy scampered to his feet and reached under the tablecloth. 

The jeweler smiled at Thomas. “Can I interest you in anything else? Perhaps this lovely necklace? All handmade, you know! I match every gem with the perfect metal and-“

“No, thank you.”

The jeweler gave a forced grin. “Alright, alright. Thank you for your business, then.”

“Here you go, sir!” The boy stood up and pushed a pile of coins towards Thomas. “One hundred and fifty pieces for each of the five scales.” 

Thomas nodded and scooped the coins, divided into piles of small copper, medium silver, and large gold ones, into his larger leather bag and took Nico by the arm, leading him through the crowd again. 

Nico spared one last look at the young boy, who stood now behind the stall, his hands balled into fists by his side as the jeweler berated him. He felt a pang of pity for the boy before the scene was swallowed up by the endless wave of people. 

Once securely out of sight of the jewler, Thomas leaned over to Nico and whispered, “You know, I never understood why people insist on using coins instead of, I dunno, just trading. Like, I’ll give you some scales for all the food I can carry, or whatever.”

“Well, all the cities and towns on the East use the same currency, and it would be pretty hard to trade a sheep to someone who doesn’t know how to take care of sheep, I guess.”

“I guess you’re right. I still don’t think these coins are really useful, though.”

Nico nodded in understanding, and that was the last of their financial discussion. 

Thomas muttered the rest of their shopping list under his breath, giving Nico something to focus on other than the people bumping against him.  

“Thick yarn, salt, you need better shoes-“ Thomas nodded at Nico. “And warmer clothes.”

Nico looked at his feet, covered in thinning leather held together by its last threads. So much walking and moving and climbing had worn out his admittedly already old and worn shoes. And sure enough, the weather, while still warm by afternoon, was becoming slowly chillier each morning. 

They stopped at another stand, this one selling brightly colored balls of wool.

“Hello, what can I do for you?” The young woman running the stall smiled, the corners of her eyes crinkling, a stark contrast to the cold jewelry seller, whose smiles were all perfectly timed business transactions. 

Thomas nudged Nico, prompting him. “What colors do you want?”

Startled, not expecting to answer the woman’s question, Nico hesitated a moment. 

“That one, please,” He pointed to a pile of dusty pink wool, almost the color of the roses his mother took so much pride in growing. 

“And how many skeins?” The woman nodded, taking the wool from the stack into a bag. 

Thomas quickly counted something on his fingers. “Six, please.” 

“Alright, that’ll be a total of ninety, fifteen each!”

Thomas nodded and handed her four of the large gold coins.

“Oh! Sir, you gave me one too many! It’s only ninety coins,” She tried to hand Thomas back the last one, but he shook his head. 

“No, keep it. Consider it for the bag.” 

“I—thank you! Have a wonderful day, sir!”

Thomas nodded and the two walked away from the spinners’, stopping at several other stalls along the way, purchasing leather, thread, dried meat, hard cheese, a small metal bucket which Thomas put the purchased odds-and-ends in, and finally, with a much lighter coin pouch, he bought two small, sweet bread rolls drizzled with honey and sugar. 

Thomas led Nico to an empty bench, where the two put down their purchased goods at their feet and slowly ate the rolls, savoring each bite and enjoying the brief down-time, a break from constantly being on their feet. 

The setting sun cast long shadows of the surrounding buildings on the marketplace crowd as the two sat with their knees against the other’s, Nico sneaking glances at Thomas when the other wasn’t looking. 

There was something about the dimming golden light, the subsiding noise of the crowd, and the honey sticker on his fingers that made Nico want to… well, he wasn’t sure. 

Deciding that no move was the best choice, he brushed the thought out of his head and smiled and finished his snack just as the sun disappeared over the horizon, leaving the sky deep purple and clouds streaked with gold. 

“Ready to go?” Thomas looked over. 

Nodding, Nico stood up and wiped his hands on the thin paper wrapping the honey bread had come in. 

Nico knelt down to pick up their newly purchased goods, blood rushing back to his sore feet.

“Don’t worry,” Thomas took one of the bags. “I’ve got it.”

“No, let me take some!” Nico shook his head, tossing a leather bag strap over his shoulders.

He followed as Thomas started walking down the cobblestone-paved streets once again, the crowd having mostly retired to their homes for the night, making it much easier (and less nerve-wracking) to follow Thomas. 

Eventually the two reached the gate they had come in through, with the same guard posted, though still not doing a very good job, as instead of standing straight and tall, chest out, as was expected of most guards, he lay slumped on the ground, his back leaning against a discarded barrel as he took a nap. 

“Well,” Thomas paused. “I don’t see a reason to wake him.”

“Agreed,” NIco nodded and kept walking to the gate. 

Wincing at the squeal the rusted hinges gave in protest, Nico held the gate open for Thomas. When they were both officially outside the city walls, Nico let the gate shut with a reverberating clang. Despite the noise, the guard still slept.

Thomas started down the hill into the woods, Nico following. It was much more difficult to navigate the woods in the dark, yet Thomas never missed a step, unlike Nico, who tripped over an unseen fallen tree branch and slid down the hill on the leaf-litter, coming to an ungraceful stop a few feet ahead of Thomas, who smiled. 

“Are you okay?” Thomas asked as he helped Nico stand up. 

��Fine,” Nico flushed and hoped the darkness would hide the warmth that had spread to his cheeks when Thomas gripped his hand. 

“Alright, good. Let’s go find Logan and everyone else, and maybe in the morning I can teach you how to, uh, maybe, knit something?”

Nico brightened. “That’d be great! Yeah, let’s go.”

More time passed as Thomas led Nico to the clearing where the dragons had decided to settle for the night before they reached their destination.

Logan was the only dragon still pacing between the trees, the rest of them having gone to sleep piled against one another. 

“What took you so long?” Logan flicked his tail.

“It… it was more crowded than human cities normally are,” Thomas responded.

Nico let out a breath of relief. He knew Logan likely wouldn’t think anything of it, but he was still glad Thomas hadn’t revealed how… afraid he had been in the crowd, with the countless bodies pushing against him, almost suffocating. But all that was over now! Sitting with his back against a tree, he listened to Thomas and Logan talk, Thomas telling Logan about what the city was like, mercifully leaving out the details of Nico’s panic attack. 

But here in the forest, the night was peaceful.

tagging: @ts-storytime @theimprobabledreamersworld @edupunkn00b

[logarhythm-bees]

To Unearth and Back Again; ⛅Chapter 8

Chapter Seven | Table of Contents | Chapter Nine

See ronithesnail's absolutely wonderful art for this story!

This chapter contains fantasy violence!

Am I more than you bargained for yet? I've been dying to tell you Anything you want to hear 'Cause that's just who I am this week

-Sugar, We're Going Down, Fall Out Boy

After what felt like hours of walking, but was probably about half of one tops, their group wandered into a little circle of flatland within the tall grass. Roman found it interesting for about half a second before he gestured them back into the grass with an urgency like he was wearing a suit made of pollen and he’d just spotted a swarm of bees.

"Get down!" Roman shouted, ducking and grabbing for the hilt of his sword.

"Wh-" Virgil started, but Roman had already pulled him into the tall grass next to him with a frightened expression. "Roman," Virgil tried, quietly, "What's going on?"

"I hear something," Roman said, clearing absolutely nothing about what he was doing up. Seeming to realize this, seeing the confusion evident on Virgil's face, he sighed. "There's a monster," he added. "We’re in this weird empty circle and this is a quest, right? This is gonna be, like, an enemy. We're going to have to fight it."

"Ookay," Virgil said, only a little less confused. He seemed to share this sentiment with the rest of the group, who were all now crouched around Roman with a rustle of grass reeds. 

"Do you know what it is, Roman?" Patton started, struggling to squat in his heeled boots, and then closed his mouth with a sharp snap as something sounded off in the bushes. A cracking noise, not too far away and getting closer, and everyone held their breath. Patton leaned protectively into Janus and Logan, who leaned into him, Thomas stood straighter and held his hands up ready to either strike or surrender, and Virgil wrapped his arm around Roman's shoulder, which made Roman's heart leaping into his chest a little more out of giddiness and a little less out of fear. 

Virgil, pressing his hand to Roman's shoulder to hold him back, crept closer to the noise- the crackle- crack in the bushes getting ever closer- and moved towards one of the small knives on his belt with his free hand, ready to grab it. Virgil barely breathed as he peered through the tall plants, looking for the creature, when suddenly the noise stopped.

There were a few seconds of silence, everyone in the group anxiously still, wondering if the creature had gone away.

Then, from the reeds a few meters ahead, something jumped.

Roman squeaked, backing away. Behind him, Logan tumbled into the bush in surprise, landing with a face-full of grass and indignantly spitting it out of his mouth. Thomas just gawked, and Patton, even in his unstable state of wearing-heels-he-wasn't-used-to, was still in a squat position, which he seemed equally excited and terrified about.

“STAY BACK,” Virgil yelled in his tempest voice, pushing his arms out to shield the sides behind him. He was the only one who hadn’t been thrown off balance by the sound, Roman was reminded, suddenly, that Virgil was very much fight or flight,

And that he had undoubtedly, wholeheartedly chosen fight now.

Virgil was squatting in the grass, ready to scrimmage, daggers drawn and held in front of him. Almost like a tiger, waiting in the bush for its opponent.

Roman stumbled back to his feet, ready to fight right beside him. He reached for his sword, resting his hand on the hilt but not quite drawing it yet as he came to stand beside Virgil, who looked at him and tensed, but did not shoo him back.

The duo were looking expectantly, anxiously at the bush, waiting for an attack. The bush rustled again, making Roman tighten his grip on the sword’s hilt as Virgil’s shoulders tensed.

There was another rustle, their anticipation growing higher, then-

Squeak!

Virgil’s shoulders suddenly dropped with a cut-off sound of surprise, and Roman, feeling rather the same, felt his jaw quite literally drop. 

Tumbling out of the bushes came a small plush spider, with gray fuzzy legs and a silly look on its face. It couldn’t have been bigger than a softball, small enough to fit in Roman’s hand.

“What.” Roman said, stunned.

“Muffet?” Virgil asked, creeping closer.

“Muffet?” Roman repeated questioningly.

“They’re, ah-” Virgil stammered. “That’s my plush. From my room.” Virgil was growing increasingly flustered, and Roman found it very sweet, both that he kept a plush in his room just like Roman and that he was shy about it. 

“They were on my bed this morning,” Virgil added.

“Weird,” Roman said. “Not out of line from what I’d expect from my brother though, throwing our plush compatriots at us out of nowhere. He’s done weirder.”

Letting his shoulders fall as he slid his sword back into its hilt, he approached the plush, intending to pick it up and return it to Virgil.

“You can take it with you on the rest of the journey? It can be like- our team mascot, or something,” Roman said, reaching towards it. “Or, y’know, just for comfort.” He added. “Here–”

As soon as Roman’s fingers made contact with the plush, waves of green and red rippled over the fabric, glowing with energy and transforming the object into something new. Roman heard a variety of gasps behind him, and he felt caught in the wake of this magic, watching as the small plush grew and grew, little round legs becoming long and thin, abdomen splitting from a singular soft ball of fluff into two rather threatening-looking forms, its head shrinking and the silly face morphing into fangs and four pairs of striking violet eyes. The small plush spider had become a very big tarantula, looking right into Roman’s eyes.

Before Roman could even process it, it was lunging at him.

Roman screeched in a way that was very dignified and respectable. He backed away, grabbing his sword out of its hilt. He pointed it at the creature, and Virgil leaped up next to him, daggers at the ready.

“Hyah!” Roman yelled, swinging at the creature. He was still off balance from the sudden surprise, though, and he missed, stumbling forward, and the spider took the opportunity to jump on him, pushing him to the ground with a hiss and flinging the sword away.

Roman would have screamed then, if not for the fact that he was already definitely screaming. He pushed and shoved at the creature, trying to squirm away.

“Get off of him!” Virgil yelled, hissing back at the spider as he grabbed at one of its legs and pulled. With Virgil lifting some of the weight, Roman managed to crawl out from under the creature. He backed off quickly, fumbling around for his sword and snatching it quickly off the ground where it had slid away into the dirt.

Virgil growled like thunder, repositioning his daggers in his hands and thrusting them at the spider. When he drew away he grumbled in frustration, seeing the place where he’d struck the spider almost void of marks, any attempt at an attack barely noticeable save for some gray scratches on the surface of its skin. Exoskeleton. Whatever the outside of a spider was called.

Virgil squeaked in fear but didn’t falter, crossing the daggers in front of him to block an attack. The spider slammed into the makeshift shield, knocking Virgil back, but he recovered quickly, slashing at its face. The creatures hissed, baring its fangs, and then turned around on its spider-heel to run towards Roman.

Roman flinched hard, holding the sword in front of him and closing his eyes as the spider ran at him and opened its jaws. He closed his eyes, not wanting to see the face of impending doom, bracing himself and his sword and praying for the best.

“STOP!” Virgil yelled, tempest tongue on full force, barely audible to Roman over the blood rushing in his ears. Roman cowered in the face of it all. He couldn’t go like this! He hadn’t even been able to talk to Virgil about his feelings yet. And Patton and Logan still thought he hated him.

Not that he’d given them much motivation to think otherwise.

He realized that he was having quite a lot of thoughts in what he had expected to be a fairly short amount of time. It was odd- a creature had been charging at him mere moments ago, but he was still standing there unharmed, wasn’t he? Had he been hit and now he was in a daze, lost in his mind? How hard had it hit him? He hadn’t even felt anything.

Nervously, Roman opened one eye, testing if he even could. When light hit his iris, he spared a glance around. He was still standing in the field, sword held up and armed, wind blowing gently through his hair. 

In confusion, Roman risked opening his other eye and gazing at the rest of the scene. Virgil stood across their little dirt circle with a shocked look on his face, and looking up, Roman did too. The spider that had been charging mere moments ago was stock-still, frozen with its mouth still open and legs poised to jump. It was like a perfect, terrifying snapshot of the middle of a battle, statue-like despite its fighting stance.

“Did I do that?” Virgil asked, quietly, as if speaking louder would break the trance the creature seemed to be in. Roman looked back to him with his eyes still blown wide, clearing his fear-dry throat and shrugging. “I don’t know.”

Virgil took in a deep breath, focusing his energy on his words; The storm within him rising in the back of his throat forming thunderclouds, commanding attention to the words and drawing open ears to listen. Though the spider faced away from him, still looking towards Roman, Virgil seemed to look directly at it, almost through it and into its core.

“Come here,” Virgil said in tempest tongue, and the spider unfroze and walked obediently towards him.

“Wow,” Roman whispered.

The spider approached Virgil, who still gripped his daggers tightly at his sides, and Roman crept behind it with his sword ready to swing just in case. The spider made no move to attack either of them, however, stopping in front of Virgil and meeting his eyes. Virgil and Roman waited with bated breath, seeing if the spider would do anything to harm them. It did not.

“I’m sorry for stabbing you,” Virgil offered, blunt but sincere. “Is that why you attacked us?”

The spider seemed to nod, and Virgil breathed out, reaching forward to touch the creature and pat it on the head. “Sorry,” He mumbled, shaking his head. “Should’ve known not to attack just because something looked scary, eh?”

The spider nodded, and Roman flinched, remembering that he’s been the one to take the first swing. Shows what he’d learned, didn’t it? he thought to himself. 

Nothing, he remarked, sadly. Still judging people by the ways they make themselves heard.

Virgil didn’t notice his plight, thankfully. His chest rose up and down in even measures again as he fumbled through his various pockets. He found the trail mix Patton had given him earlier and shook some into his hand, holding it out towards the spider.

“For the troubles?” he added.

The spider bowed its head and began to eat the offered snack, almost like a horse, which would have made Roman snort if he wasn’t having a little bit of a self-worth crisis internally.

He barely even noticed it walking over to him until it was towering over him again, and Roman froze. 

Was it going to eat him? No, there he went judging things again. It wouldn’t eat him, right? Would it? Was Virgil going to end up adopting this spider as a weird creepy pet horse? Where would they keep it? Wh-

Over the ringing in his ears, Roman made out a small hiss, and saw the spider open its jaws. Oh no, it was going to eat him! This was all his fault, he-

Watching him intently, a wet, folded piece of paper fell out of the spider’s mouth.

“Ew,” Roman said, because he couldn’t really come up with anything else to think or say.

The spider closed its mouth, and then exploded into light, falling to the ground as an inanimate plush once more.

As Virgil stepped closer to take the plush in his arms, Roman slowly crept over and picked the paper up, cringing. He stuck his tongue out in disgust, holding the paper at one corner between his forefinger and thumb. 

“Dear Roman,” he read out loud, groaning at the familiar handwriting. “Oh, by Leslie Odom- really, Remus?

Congratulations! You’ve beaten the first stage of your journey. Don’t go thinking you can run around partying yet, though! You’ve got plenty of danger ahead. And don’t worry, these ones won’t be so easy. Winky face.

With shove,

Remus.”

Roman felt dizzy. He wanted to lay down. His body seemed to agree, swaying dangerously on his legs. Oh, he was so going to kill Remus over this.

“He wrote ‘winky face’ on it?” Virgil asked incredulously, breaking Roman’s train of thought before another wobble of his legs set him back on track.

“I don’t know what you expected from him,” Roman said, barely hearing or processing the words coming out of his mouth. He crouched down, weakly propping his arm behind him to guide his head down to the dirt. The dirt was very comfortable. He wanted to stay there forever. Twenty minutes would also be acceptable. However long it took for his head to stop spinning and for the stars to stop spinning around his head.

He didn’t think that was a thing that actually happened. Didn’t cartoon characters do that? The whole stars-when-dizzy was supposed to be a cartoon character thing. Roman wasn’t a cartoon character. Was he? He was sort of imaginary, in a sense, but cartoon characters weren’t entirely imaginary, they were drawings-

“-oman? Roman!”

-wait, he was a cartoon character that one time! It had been a while now, but maybe he’d retained some of those little animation quirks like the whole star thing. If he ran off a cliff would he stay there until he noticed? Best not to test it. If he did run off a cliff, though, Virgil would probably catch him. Just like he caught Virgil that one time. It would be nice, be. Virgil was really strong, and he smelled like nice dryer sheets, probably because of the hoodie. Roman liked being close to him. 

“Roman! Hey! Can you hear me?”

Roman blinked as the voice finally cut through his thoughts. As his vision cleared, he realized that the stars dancing around his head were actually reflections of sun light bouncing off of the buckles and clasps of Virgil’s belts. Said side was leaning over him with a look of concern, gently fanning at him with his hand.

“There you are,” Virgil said softly, making Roman’s heart do acrobatics he probably could not do himself and would definitely have to sign a waiver before he tried to. “Are you okay?”

Roman groaned, letting his head fall into the dirt again. Virgil waited patiently, watching him through a moment of aggravated Roman noises as the prince looked for the right words to use.

“I’m going to kill my brother,” Roman eventually landed on.

“I think we’d established that already,” Virgil laughed, extending a hand towards Roman. “But yeah, same.”

Roman took Virgil’s hand, and Virgil pulled him to his feet and fixed his cloak, adjusting the way the red fabric sat over his shoulders. He stood back, giving a comforting smile to Roman, and dusted himself off, brushing dirt and grass off of his shirt.

“You can come out now,” Virgil said, and there was another rustle from the reeds, and the other three came out of the bush to join them in the little circle.

“That was awesome, you guys!” Patton beamed, as Logan affirmed. “Very impressive.”

Roman bit his tongue, split between preening under the praise and his continuous underlying anger. “Thanks,” he said, plainly but not ingenuine, in the same moment that Virgil said it with a bite to his tone.

“Logan discovered something while we were in the bush,” Thomas butted in, quickly changing the subject. “Show ‘em, Logan!”

“Ah. Yes.” Logan said. “I have been feeling a strange sort of ‘spark,’ since we got here, that is, a sort of power I could not explain.” Logan smirked. “But I have figured out what it is that has had this pull on me. If you will observe-” he said, raising a hand into the air out in front of him.

“You may want to move,” Logan suggested, and Roman and Virgil scurried out of the way. Logan faced the now-empty circle with a deep breath and flicked his wrist towards the bush, and Roman watched in un-contained awe as a bright burst of blue light shot out of Logan’s hand, flying into the bush and leaving a small patch of smoking ground where there had been high, swaying reeds a moment before.

Patton bounced on his feet, clapping excitedly. Thomas was not far behind, clasping his hands in admiration. Even Roman himself found himself impressed.

A muffled stomp and grumble of annoyance drew their attention, and Roman whipped his head around to see Virgil march over to Logan, sticking his finger straight up in Logan’s face.

“You had magic this whole time?!” Virgil shouted angrily. “Why didn’t you help us?!”

“I-” Logan stammered affrontendly, “-I did not know I had it until mere minutes ago! Plus, you told me to stay back.” He stamped his foot right back at Virgil, pointing his own finger at Virgil. “And even if you hadn’t told me to, the answer was not fighting the creature anyways! What do you expect I would have done? Blast it into being amiable?”

“I just-!” Virgil stammered, red with frustration. “Whatever!” He yelled, storming away. He couldn’t storm very far though, because when he reached the foliage, he had to slow down and reduce his movements substantially to move through the plants.

He groaned loudly, stamping one more time in the bush before slumping his shoulders with a resigned grumble.

“Where are we going now.” He muttered, not looking at the group.

Roman looked down at the paper again, looking for clues, when the words started glowing a faint pink, slowly growing in intensity as Roman stared in awe at the page. The pink light lifted off of the words and into the air, swirling around and turning onto cherry blossom petals in spring. They danced around on a gust of wind, fluttering above the group, then rushed in a cluster towards Thomas, spinning around him and musing his hair. Thomas gasped in surprise, and then the petals turned back into light and settled onto his shoulders. In a flash, the ground below Thomas was emitting the same fushia-pink light, and a thread of it darted away like a stream of water in summer rain, a pink light guiding them off through the lush, earthy plains and into a wooded expanse, short but dense layers of trees with brilliant green leaves rustling in the gentle breeze.

“I’d assume there,” Thomas said.

Virgil did not look back at them, simply scooting forward like a petulant child as he dragged his feet through the dirt. He did not speed up until he heard the others come into line with him, refusing to look at them but not willing to leave them behind.

Roman approached him and put a light hand on his shoulder, allowing Virgil the opportunity to shrug it off, and when he did not, he rubbed gentle circles on his spine, comforting him. Virgil finally tilted his head back to meet his eyes, slightly rimmed in red, and Roman made a soft sound, pulling Virgil alongside him and frontmost on the trail so that the rest of the group couldn’t see Virgil’s guilt-ridden face.

Roman spotted Muffet tucked carefully into a satchel on Virgil’s belt, and gently nudged Virgil to look at it, pulling it out of the pouch to hand it to him. Virgil smiled at him, still a half-grimace, but he clutched the plush close to his chest and out of view from the rest of their party.

“Come on,” Roman said, gently tugging Virgil with him.

“We’ve still got a ways to go,” he said absentmindedly, and was only half talking about the adventure.

[storytellerofuntoldlegends]

somebody loves you for yourself

A/N: I have had this nicomas fic in my head and have been working on it basically since fwsa came out, and it’s finally done!! it’s like 7k of pure fluff and nico meeting the sides, enjoy! (title is from Wake Up, Sunshine by All Time Low)

Summary: On a relaxing date night with Thomas, Nico stumbles upon someone on the kitchen- someone who looked eerily like his boyfriend. Then he ends up meeting five more "Thomases," as well as finding out that there is so much of his boyfriend to love.

Warnings: flirting, kissing, hugging, cuddling, remus being remus, janus being all “we live in a society,” mentions of amazon being a not great company (lmk if anything should be added, otherwise this is pure fluff!)

-

Things had been going spectacularly well with the cute disaster gay Nico had met at the mall. Since that fateful meeting, the two had exchanged numbers, gone on more dates… and well, it had been a few months now and Nico was pretty sure that Thomas was it for him. He really couldn’t picture his future without Thomas somewhere in it. Nico wasn’t really sure what he’d do without Thomas’s infectious enthusiasm, how he could go a day without seeing the way his eyes lit up when he talked about his passions or the way pink would dust his cheeks when Nico used any term of endearment towards him… well now Nico was just waxing poetic now, wasn’t he? Sue him, he was a poet! And Thomas had irrevocably become his muse.

“I was rambling again, wasn’t I?” Thomas asked, startling Nico from his thoughts. The two of them were in Thomas’s apartment, Nico watching Thomas playing Kingdom Hearts. Well… it was more Thomas playing for a bit, then pausing the game to ramble about the lore and storyline of Kingdom Hearts. But Nico was more than content to listen and watch as Thomas gestured emphatically as he spoke. Although Nico admittedly got caught up in how Thomas’s voice was like audible sunshine, how Thomas could start literally glowing from excitement and Nico wouldn’t bat an eye… Thomas once confessed to him that he had thought Nico was radiant the first time he saw him, but Nico was pretty sure it was the other way around. Thomas was the radiant one, like a beam of sunlight that had gotten confused and taken human form.

“No, it’s okay! I like hearing you ramble, it’s cute! Although… I will admit that I might have gotten a little distracted by said cuteness and zoned out,” Nico replied with a sheepish laugh. Thomas flushed and let out a squeak, hands flapping excitedly for a moment before he covered his mouth, as if he were trying to hold back the squeak that he had already let out.

“You know I don’t know how to respond to compliments!” Thomas protested when he dropped his hands down from his mouth.

“Think of it this way, babe- if I keep giving you compliments, you’ll have more practice at responding to them! Besides, you’re unreasonably cute when you get all blushy and stimmy like this,” Nico said with a grin. Thomas squeaked again, this time opting to bury his whole face in his hands.

“This is RUDE I’m being ATTACKED!” Thomas exclaimed, voice muffled behind his hands. Nico chuckled, shaking his head at his boyfriend’s dramatics.

“Okay, okay, I’ll show mercy. I was gonna get some water soon anyway. Need anything while I’m up?” he asked. Thomas looked up from his hands then, face still flushed but looking less like he was going to melt.

“Nah, I’m fine, thanks though,” Thomas replied.

“Be right back,” Nico said, and with a kiss to Thomas’s cheek to fix the not-melting problem, Nico stood up and walked over to the kitchen. He flicked on the light, and he was still rather lost in his thoughts about Thomas that he didn’t notice the man sitting on the counter until he looked up and locked eyes with him. He was… Thomas?! Or at least, someone who looked eerily similar to Thomas. He wore a black hoodie with plaid purple patches and for a moment, Nico thought he had sparkly purple eyeshadow underneath his eyes. But then the man locked eyes with Nico and the eyeshadow was black. Nico let out a surprised yelp, the man sitting on the counter yelped back, and soon enough both of them were screaming.

“Uh… everything okay in here?” Thomas asked, frowning with concern as he walked into the kitchen. He didn’t seem perturbed by the man on the counter, and Nico looked between them incredulously.

“So… were you going to tell me you had a twin, or was I just supposed to get scared half to death by finding him sitting on the counter?!” Nico demanded, unable to keep his voice from rising with mild panic. Thomas’s mouth dropped open, and he looked at the man, then back to Nico.

“You can see him?!” Thomas gasped. Nico’s expression twisted with confusion.

“Uh… kinda hard to miss an emo version of you sitting on the counter. Thomas, who is this and why are you so shocked that I can see him?” Nico asked, glancing to the man again, who looked like he wanted nothing more than to cease to exist at that present moment. But surprisingly, the man spoke up.

“He’s surprised because I’m part of him,” he said, and he even sounded like Thomas, but his voice was rougher and deeper.

“What do you mean, ‘part of him?’” Nico asked slowly.

“This is Virgil, he’s my anxiety. And up until now… I thought I was the only one who could see him,” Thomas explained. And frankly, this clarification just left Nico even more confused.

“So… your anxiety is somehow… personified? And is a real, actual person?” Nico asked.

“He’s not… ‘real,’ in that sort of sense, I thought he was more like… a figment of my imagination, or a projection of how I was feeling, anxiety-wise? Although he and the others are able to interact with the real world sometimes…” Thomas trailed off thoughtfully.

“Wait wait wait. Back up. Others?!” Nico exclaimed. Thomas instantly looked a little sheepish, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I- um, well…”

“We’re his ‘sides.’ Parts of his personality, basically. There’s Logan, Patton, Roman… and a few more,” Virgil explained, fidgeting with his hoodie sleeves and eyes glued to the floor.

“Oh. Okay then… so are all of you just in his head the rest of the time? How come I haven’t seen any of you before?” Nico asked.

“We usually are in his head, yeah. But I don’t know why you haven’t seen any of us until now. Heck, me and Roman were with Thomas when he met you!” Virgil exclaimed, biting his thumb nervously after his rather panicked outburst.

“Wait, you were?” Nico asked, looking to Thomas for confirmation. Thomas smiled sheepishly, dropping his hand from the back of his neck.

“Yeah. In fact, Virgil was the one who pushed me to talk to you. And uh- I mean the ‘pushed’ part literally,” Thomas explained.

“Wait really? I just thought you were clumsy- not that being clumsy is a bad thing! Kinda endearing, actually,” Nico said, expecting the inevitable blush to travel over Thomas’s face- but what he wasn’t expecting was a squeak from Virgil and his eyeshadow turning sparkly and purple.

“I mean, to be fair I am a little clumsy sometimes,” Thomas said with a nervous laugh. Nico glanced between Virgil and Thomas, a bit of a playful smirk quirking on his lips.

“Well, whether your clumsiness is just you or your sides- I think you’re all around endearing,” Nico said, voice nearly a purr. Thomas let out a delighted little sound and flapped his hands with excitement, and Virgil outright giggled. If Nico hadn’t thought Thomas was everything to him before, he definitely thought so now with meeting one of his sides.

“Your eyeshadow turns purple and sparkly when Thomas is excited, that is adorable,” Nico cooed. Virgil let out a sound that was half giggle and half yelp, hiding his flushed face in his hands. After a few deep breaths to calm himself down, he peeked up at Nico, looking timid and insecure.

“You really think so?” Virgil asked quietly, tensing up as if he were afraid of the answer.

“I do think so. It makes sense after all… Thomas is adorable, therefore his sides are adorable too,” Nico replied with a shrug. Virgil let out an elated giggle, hands flapping excitedly- and in that moment, Nico knew that he was more than okay with Thomas having sides. It just meant there was more of him to love and appreciate.

-

Since meeting Virgil, Nico was determined to meet the rest of the sides. Thomas had explained that he could summon them whenever he wanted, but Nico insisted that they could just come to him on their own. He had felt a little bad about his first meeting with Virgil being so panic-inducing for all of them, and didn’t really want a repeat of that situation. But luckily, Nico didn’t have to wait that long to meet another one of Thomas’s sides.

Nico had been sitting at the table, idly chatting with Thomas while he was in the kitchen making dinner for the two of them. Nico had offered to help, but being the sweetheart he was, Thomas insisted that he was more than happy to handle dinner. As they were talking, one of Thomas’s sides rose up into existence. This side wore glasses, a black polo, and a tie… Nico made a mental note to tell Thomas that he looked very good dressed a bit more formally.

“Thomas, please be sure to preheat the oven for the garlic bread this time,” the formally dressed side said. Then he looked over and seemed to notice Nico, and though his expression seemed carefully maintained and neutral, Nico could see his eyes lighting up with excitement.

“Hi there!” Nico said, giving a small wave. A smile crept over the side’s face for half a second, but his expression quickly turned neutral again, and he adjusted his tie nervously.

“Hello. I am Logan, Thomas’s-”

“Wait! Don’t tell me which side you are, I wanna guess! It’s kind of like a puzzle… although I guess that’s kind of weird to say about part of your boyfriend’s personality…” Nico trailed off sheepishly. Logan’s face lit up, and this time it was purely unrestrained. If Nico could get heart eyes like a cartoon character, he certainly would have in this situation. Something about seeing this serious side of Thomas so excited… it made Nico’s heart flutter.

“Do you like puzzles?” Logan asked, sounding like he was trying not to seem too hopeful.

“I love puzzles!” Nico exclaimed. A grin took over Logan’s face, and with a wave of his hand, a puzzle appeared on the kitchen table. It was a Nightmare Before Christmas one of Jack Skellington’s face being made up of various scenes and characters from the movie.

“Oh- wait, I’m not sure if you’re going to be able to-” Logan’s sentence cut off abruptly when Nico reached out and took the lid off the top of the box.

“What were you saying?” Nico asked, setting the lid down and looking up to Logan. Nico could only describe his expression as calculating, but in a warm and endearing way.

“Fascinating,” Logan murmured, gazing at Nico. He felt his face heat up slightly at the attention, but was mostly feeling a little lost.

“Logan? What’s going on, buddy?” Thomas asked, observing the two of them from the other side of the kitchen counter. Logan blinked, shaking his head and looking a little sheepish.

“Apologies. I was rather fascinated that Nico was able to touch the puzzle box. I had momentarily forgotten that I am technically imaginary, and therefore anything I would summon would be imaginary as well. However, Nico seems to be able to interact with the puzzle,” Logan explained, and frankly Nico felt like he could listen to Logan talk for ages. He was so precise and professional with the way he spoke, but there was still an undercurrent of excitement and fascination.

“Maybe you guys are becoming more real, somehow?” Nico suggested.

“Perhaps, but you seem to be the only one who can see us. There have been some close calls with Joan and some of Thomas’s other close friends, but you have been the only one who has outright interacted with us,” Logan explained. Nico hummed thoughtfully as he began sorting out the puzzle pieces. Logan sat down with him and helped sort the pieces as well, flushing slightly as their hands brushed whenever they reached for the same pieces.

“Maybe it has to do with how close to Thomas someone is?” Nico asked. A contemplative expression came over Logan’s face.

“I am not responsible for Thomas’s emotions, so I would have no way of knowing. But that is a plausible theory,” Logan replied. Nico nodded, and went back to the puzzle for a few moments, sneaking a few glances at Logan every now and then.

“Well, you confirmed that you aren’t Thomas’s emotional side, and I know you aren’t his anxiety because I already met Virgil. And you seem to like Nightmare Before Christmas, but I’m not sure if that really contributes to which side you are,” Nico said, and was surprised to see Logan flush with mild embarrassment.

“I- while your skills of deduction are admirable, my reasonings for summoning a Nightmare Before Christmas puzzle was not because I enjoy the movie, but because you seem to. If the sticker on your laptop is any evidence to go by,” Logan admitted a tad sheepishly. This time it was Nico’s turn to blush, and he placed his hand over Logan’s with a grin.

“Logan, that’s so sweet! So tell me, what do you like?” Nico asked, squeezing Logan’s hand before removing it to continue the puzzle. Logan stared at his hand for a moment or two, then blinked and shook his head.

“I- erm, I do have an- an appreciation for mysteries and detective stories,” Logan replied, stumbling over his words slightly. Nico glanced up from the puzzle to see that Logan looked a little flustered, and a small smile came to his face at the sight.

“So let’s see… not emotional, seems very factual and is on the more serious side, likes puzzles, mysteries, and detectives… my guess is that you’re Thomas’s intellectual side,” Nico said. Logan’s face broke out into a grin and his expression lit up with pride, sending butterflies fluttering through Nico’s stomach.

“Correct! Although technically speaking, my official ‘title’ of sorts is that I am Thomas’s Logic,” Logan said, voice surprisingly warm and fond.

“Well then, Mr. Logic, shall we finish this puzzle?” Nico asked with a grin. A small smile slipped onto Logan’s face.

“I think we shall, Mr. Flores.”

-

Nico and Thomas had been having what they liked to call “joint creativity days.” The two of them would hang out in Thomas’s apartment while Thomas would work on a script for a video, while Nico would work on his songs or poetry. And it was on one of these joint creativity days that Nico met another one of Thomas’s sides.

“By the prophecies of Apollo, are you writing a sonnet?!” a hushed, yet excited voice piped up beside Nico. He looked over to see one of Thomas’s sides nestled rather close to him on the couch, eyes lit up with awe as he looked at Nico’s screen. The side in question was dressed like a stereotypical prince: white tunic with gold detailing, a bright red sash- but oddly enough, no crown.

“Well… I’m trying to. My songs aren’t really going anywhere, so I decided I’d try to do some poetry. But I’m getting tripped up on the syllables,” Nico said with a sigh.

“Why restrict your wondrous writing to the syllables of a sonnet? Although I do appreciate the Bard’s work,” the princely side asked.

“I thought giving myself some guidelines would help, otherwise I’ll feel like I have too many options and I don’t end up writing anything at all,” Nico said with a sigh.

“It doesn’t seem like you’re writing much with those guidelines- but this certainly is a good start!” the side said, eyes scanning over the words again. A thoughtful expression came over the side’s face, and Nico could practically see the creative gears turning in his mind. Wait… creative? Could he be- well, Nico should probably ask the side’s name before making any guesses.

“Oh gosh, what am I doing? I didn’t even ask for your name or anything!” Nico said with a sheepish laugh. The side blinked, startling slightly as he was torn from the partially written sonnet. His face broke out into a charming grin as he sprung to his feet, got down on one knee in front of the couch and took Nico’s hand in his. Nico thought he was flustered at the side’s actions- but then he spoke and Nico was fairly sure his face was burning.

“Prince Roman at your service, my fair poet,” he murmured with a kiss to the back of Nico’s hand. Nico let out a sound he absolutely refused to call a squeak.

“Where is this suave-ness when I’m trying to flirt with Nico?!” Thomas demanded indignantly. Roman stood up with a huff.

“Virgil can be very convincing when it comes to not flirting versus flirting!” Roman squawked indignantly.

“Good point,” Thomas replied with a sigh.

“Well, whenever you are comfortable enough to do it, the suave-ness is much appreciated by me,” Nico said, only sounding slightly strangled. Roman’s face lit up, and he clapped his hands together excitedly as he bounced on the balls of his feet (the lack of crown now made sense to Nico, with how much the prince seemed to move).

“Really?!” Roman squealed.

“Of course, Prince Roman- or should I say, Thomas’s creativity and passion?” Nico guessed with a grin. Nico thought Roman looked rather joyous before, but Roman’s expression turned positively ecstatic. Nico half-expected Roman to start glowing with how enthused he looked. He all but bounded forward to sit next to Nico again and hug him tightly- and then he pressed a kiss to Nico’s cheek. Nico’s face heated up once more… and okay, fine, he squeaked. Roman drew back from him quickly, looking completely mortified.

“I have never thought about a single decision I have ever made,” Roman said, voice coming out quiet and mildly strained. Nico gave Roman a comforting smile, and took the prince’s hand and squeezed it gently. Roman’s tensed form instantly relaxed, but he still looked a little distraught.

“I don’t mind a little spontaneity, your highness,” Nico murmured, thumb rubbing soothing circles over the back of Roman’s hand. A sound between a gasp and an exclamation left Roman’s lips and a delightful pink flush grew over his cheeks.

“I- Nico, you- I…” Roman rambled, seeming at a loss for words. Nico smiled warmly and leaned over to kiss Roman’s temple… and well, it looked like Roman wasn’t going to be formulating words any time soon.

“Nico! Now I’m really not going to get any work on this script done!” Thomas said with a laugh, setting his laptop aside.

“I can’t help that my boyfriend and his sides are so handsome and lovely! It makes complimenting you so easy,” Nico said, flashing Thomas a grin. Thomas squeaked, blushing just as brightly as Roman.

“This is DISTINCTLY not fair!” Roman pouted, which was frankly adorable in Nico’s humble opinion.

“You started it, dear Prince,” Nico hummed with a shrug, turning back to his sonnet. Nothing like a little mutual flirting and flustering to get the writing motivation flowing.

-

Halloween was approaching, which meant that pumpkin patches started opening up. So Nico came up with the date idea of going to a pumpkin patch and carving pumpkins afterwards. And was the main purpose of this date to wear cute fall clothes and take pictures with Thomas? Maybe. But Nico also really loved Halloween and carving pumpkins, so really it was a win-win.

Nico took pumpkin carving very seriously, so he was meticulous when it came to choosing a pumpkin. Thomas had already chosen his, and was watching on fondly while Nico pondered over the pumpkins. Nico had narrowed down his choices to two pumpkins when a voice piped up beside him.

“Having trouble picking there, pumpkin?” the voice asked, and Nico glanced over to see one of Thomas’s sides crouched beside him. Nico couldn’t think of any other way to describe this side other than a dad with an affinity for cats. He wore glasses, a blue polo, khakis, and a cat hoodie tied around his shoulders. Nico blinked at the side with mild confusion.

“Was that… a pun?” Nico asked. The side let out a sheepish laugh, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Yeahhh… not my best one. Oh hey! Can I just say that you look gord-eous today?” he said with a grin. Against his will, Nico’s face flushed and a giggle escaped his lips.

“You have a dad side?” Nico said, standing and turning towards Thomas with a laugh of disbelief. Thomas let out a sheepish laugh.

“Well, he’s technically more than that… but pretty much yeah,” Thomas replied.

“I didn’t think you or your sides could get any more adorable,” Nico said with a grin. Thomas flushed slightly, and a squeal came from the side beside Nico.

“Oh kiddo! You’re so sweet!” he cooed. Nico turned to the dad side with a slightly mischievous grin.

“Am I sweet as… pumpkin pie?” he asked. Thomas’s side giggled, while Thomas groaned at the pun.

“I’d say you’re even sweeter! My name’s Patton, by the way,” he said, holding out a hand to Nico. He looked at the offered hand, then to Patton’s face.

“Sorry Patton, but I don’t think a handshake is gonna do. Could I have a hug instead?” Nico asked. Patton’s face lit up like a child’s did on Christmas, and he pulled Nico into his arms with an elated sound. Thomas was a good hugger, Nico always felt safe and loved in his arms- but hugging Patton was that feeling times a thousand. Patton just radiated care and comfort, and Nico hadn’t really thought he needed a hug earlier, but part of him felt absolutely relieved to be hugged. One of Patton’s hands came up to gently card through Nico’s hair, and he all but purred at the touch.

“I’m not getting Patton back anytime soon, am I?” Thomas joked.

“No,” Nico replied with a slight pout, hugging Patton tighter.

“No complaints here!” Patton said, and Nico could hear his smile in his voice.

“I mean, to everyone else it probably looks like you’re hugging the air,” Thomas pointed out with a chuckle. Nico sighed, and regretfully drew away from Patton.

“That’s okay, I can always hug you later when there aren’t people around!” Patton chirped with a sunny grin. Okay, so Patton was definitely the side responsible for Thomas being like a ray of sunshine that came to life. But Nico had no clue as to what part of Thomas that made Patton. His kindness, maybe? But Nico had a feeling that Patton was more than that, that there was something more than the puns and cheerful attitude.

“I’ve gotta say Patton, you’ve got me a little stumped. Puns, sunny disposition, kindness… but I feel like there’s something more to you than that, something more specific that I can’t quite put my finger on,” Nico hummed thoughtfully.

“Do you want a hint?” Patton offered. Nico pondered this for a moment or two, then nodded.

“Sure, just don’t give it to me too easily,” he replied. Patton grinned, clapping his hands together excitedly.

“Yay! Well Nico, I just wanted to say that I am morally obligated to tell you that I heartily look forward to our next hug!” Patton exclaimed. Nico blinked in mild confusion, getting the feeling that Patton had used two puns in his hint. He pondered Patton’s sentence for a moment or two, regarding the side with a contemplative look.

“Are you… his morals? Or his heart?” Nico asked, more thinking out loud rather than settling on an answer.

“Both! Well, ‘officially’ I’m Thomas’s morality, his sense of right and wrong- but I’m his heart too!” Patton chirped.

“I knew there was something more to you than really good hugs and dad jokes,” Nico replied with a grin. Patton giggled, face flushing ever so slightly as he fiddled with the sleeves of his cat hoodie.

“Well, to be fair… I am mostly that sort of stuff,” he said, sounding a little sheepish. Nico regarded Patton with a concerned expression. Something about Patton’s demeanor… it struck Nico that perhaps the side didn’t think of himself all that highly. Maybe it was a bit of a stretch to assume, considering he had just met him, but there was insecurity in every fiber of his stance.

“Maybe, but it takes a lot of wisdom to deal with moral issues. You can be smart and silly, it’s not a dichotomy,” Nico said with a soft smile. Patton’s eyes grew wide behind his glasses, and Nico was vaguely startled to see that it looked like he was going to cry.

“Oh- I- well… well Logan’s the smart one, not me,” Patton protested, though his voice was soft and hopeful.

“Sure, Logan is logic and facts, and ‘traditional’ intelligence… but there’s a lot of different types of intelligence. You seem to lean towards emotional intelligence, which does make you smart and caring- plus you must be pretty witty to come up with puns,” Nico said, still smiling softly.

“Oh,” Patton said softly, eyes still wide and the beginnings of a smile on his face. Patton stood still for half a moment, then rushed forward to hug Nico. This hug felt completely different than the one Nico had received earlier. This time, Patton felt so small in his arms, instead of being all-encompassing comfort. Patton was the one who needed the comfort here, to know that just because he was sweet and silly, it didn’t mean he wasn’t important. Nico hugged him back tightly, reaching a hand up to run through his hair, mirroring what Patton had done with him earlier. Nico looked to Thomas over Patton’s shoulder- and was shocked to see an expression that had been eerily similar to Patton’s- disbelieving yet hopeful. Then it hit Nico- the sides’ insecurities were Thomas’s too, at least on some level. He squeezed Patton tighter and smiled at Thomas comfortingly. There was so much of Thomas to love- and Nico was determined to show Thomas that he loved every part of him.

-

Thomas and Nico were curled up on the couch, Thomas’s arm around him with his head resting on top of Nico’s. They were having a rather relaxed evening by watching The Lion King, arguably one of Nico’s favorite Disney movies (other than Nightmare Before Christmas, of course). What made this particular viewing of The Lion King so enjoyable was Thomas softly singing along to the songs and his laughter at various parts of the movie. They had gotten to “Can You Feel the Love Tonight” in the movie when Nico heard some snickering from off to the side. Nico looked over to see a mustached side with a white streak through his hair hiding behind the couch. Out of all the sides Nico had met so far, he looked the most different from Thomas. Yet something about him reminded Nico of Roman- they definitely seemed to have a similar style, as something about the side seemed regal with the elaborate black tunic and electric green sash.

“What are you giggling about?” Nico asked. The side merely cackled, wiggling excitedly behind the couch.

“You’ll seeeeeee,” he crooned. Thomas looked over to the side with an apprehensive look and sighed.

“Remus-” Thomas started, but the side (Remus?) quickly shushed him. Thomas huffed out a sigh and rolled his eyes, snuggling back into Nico. They continued watching the scene for a little while longer until Remus broke down into giggles, causing Thomas to sigh again.

“What’s so funny?” Nico asked, glancing between the television and Remus. They had gotten to the part of the song where Simba and Nala had rolled down the hill together, and Nico couldn’t quite figure out what was so amusing about that.

“Oh come on, Nala was totally asking Simba to hakuna her tatas with those bedroom eyes she was giving him,” Remus cackled. Thomas’s expression was twisted with a mixture of disgust and disappointment, while Nico couldn’t help but burst into laughter. Both Thomas and Remus looked surprised at his reaction, but Nico was too busy laughing to really wonder why.

“Hakuna her- oh my goodness how did I never think of that-” Nico said between laughs.

“And you said it would be a bad idea if I talked to Nico!” Remus scoffed with a grin.

“Cause I thought you would traumatize him, not- not whatever is happening here!” Thomas protested.

“What is happening here is that I am hilarious,” Remus shot back, his grin turning more smug than chaotic. Nico finally managed to stop laughing and catch his breath, looking to Remus with an inquisitive look.

“So you’re- what, pure chaos and humor? You also remind me of Roman in a weird way… I can’t quite puzzle you out,” Nico pondered. Remus opened his mouth to say something else, but was cut off by an indignant voice from the end of the couch.

“I resent that, I am NOTHING like him!” Roman exclaimed, crossing his arms and pouting slightly.

“Hey! I’m talking to Nico now, you got to meet him a few days ago!” Remus shouted back. Roman and Remus quickly devolved into childish bickering, sounding more like a pair of kids than two sides of a grown man.

“This is the first time I’ve seen your sides interact with each other, do they always bicker like this?” Nico whispered to Thomas, gaze darting between Roman and Remus as they continued to argue.

“More or less, but these two are a… special case,” Thomas muttered.

“I am quite special and spectacular, thank you,” Roman said, abandoning his argument with Remus to turn to Thomas and Nico.

“Pretty sure ‘special’ was not a compliment there, Ro-Bro,” Remus huffed. Roman let out a dramatic groan, looking to Remus his nose wrinkled in distaste.

“Why did you call me ‘Ro-Bro’, I know you have the capability to be cleverer than that,” Roman huffed.

“Well it’s true! Your name is Ro, and you’re my bro! And Thomas told me I couldn’t traumatize Nico,” Remus pouted.

“Wait, ‘bro?’ Like you guys are actually brothers?” Nico blurted, interrupting the argument before it could really begin.

“Unfortunately,” Roman huffed.

“Well I think I am an absolute delight to have as a brother,” Remus shot back, sticking out his tongue.

“More like an absolute fright!” Roman fired back.

“Awww, you called me a fright! That’s gotta be the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me!” Remus chirped, seeming genuinely pleased. Roman let out a long sigh.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Please don’t scare off Thomas’s boyfriend?” Roman huffed. To Nico’s surprise, Remus flushed slightly.

“I won’t,” he muttered. Seeming satisfied, Roman sunk out, leaving Thomas and Nico with Remus. Nico turned to look at Remus who seemed… uncharacteristically sheepish. Nico hadn’t really known Remus for all that long, but something told him that he wasn’t the type of side to be particularly bashful.

“So… Remus. Roman’s your brother? Does that mean you guys have similar functions?” Nico asked with a contemplative expression. Remus squirmed semi-uncomfortably for a moment or two before huffing out a sigh.

“I guess so. Technically,” he said with a slight pout. Nico regarded him with a concerned eye. Remus seemed just as unwilling to admit that he had any similarities to Roman as Roman was unwilling to admit that he had any similarities to Remus.

“So you’re creativity too? But Thomas and Roman both said something about scaring or traumatizing me… so you’re Thomas’s darker creative thoughts?” Nico asked.

“Yup. But I’m his intrusive thoughts too. Y’know, those random little thoughts you get about how easy it would be to stab somebody while they’re helping you do the dishes and you happen to be drying a knife,” Remus replied, his strange melancholy demeanor shifting to something more malicious and chaotic as he spoke. Nico was suddenly reminded of the other day when he was helping Thomas do the dishes after dinner, and how Thomas had dropped a knife like it had burned him while he was drying it. Nico had fussed over him and asked if he was okay, and Thomas just blamed it on clumsiness. But now Nico could see that there was a bit more to Thomas lurking beneath the surface. Nico knew that Thomas would never hurt him- if the immense guilt and shame currently written over his face was anything to go by- but it did hurt Nico’s heart a bit to know that Thomas struggled with such thoughts and felt ashamed to talk about it.

“Well… just because you think such things doesn’t mean you’d ever do them, and thinking those sorts of things doesn’t make you an irredeemably bad person either. Plus it’s not a bad thing to have a darker imagination! Stories can’t be all sunshine and rainbows, sometimes you’ve gotta have a little darkness to even things out,” Nico explained in a soothing tone, relieved when both Thomas and Remus perked up.

“Really?” Remus asked in a disbelieving tone.

“Really! Trust me, I’m a poet. And poets love writing about dark stuff, just look at Edgar Allan Poe! He’s one of my inspirations, did you know that?” Nico asked, grinning when Remus’s face lit up.

“Me too! The Tell-Tale Heart is one of my favorites of his!” Remus exclaimed, beginning to chatter away about hearts beneath floorboards and birds that foretold death. Thomas muttered something about Nico providing Remus more nightmare fuel to torment him with, to which Nico happily placated him with a peck on the cheek and the promise to defend him from any nightmares.

-

On more than one occasion, some of Nico’s friends had enthusiastically recommended the show Good Omens to him. As it turned out, Thomas’s friends were also recommending the show to him. So they both figured it could be something they could experience together. Watching Good Omens had become a bit of a weekend tradition, and they were now halfway through the show. Nico was getting popcorn ready in the kitchen, while Thomas fussed over the television setup. For whatever reason, Thomas seemed to be struggling with pulling it up… no, that wasn’t quite it. Thomas seemed strangely hesitant about pulling up Amazon Prime onto his television.

“Something up, babe?” Nico asked as he carried the popcorn into the living room.

“No! No, I’m fine,” Thomas replied, a little too quickly as he queued up the show and sat down on the couch. For a brief moment, Nico could have sworn he heard a chilling laugh and a flash of yellow out of the corner of his eye, but when he turned to follow it, there was nothing there. Shaking his head, Nico sat down beside Thomas and instantly cuddled into his side, popcorn still in hand.

“Sure doesn’t sound like you’re fine,” Nico said, raising an eyebrow and tilting his head up to meet Thomas’s eyes. He fidgeted for a moment or two before replying.

“Just saw an article the other day about Amazon, that’s all,” Thomas said with a sigh.

“Yeah, Jeff Bezos is a crummy guy, and unfortunately we live in a capitalist world where there is no such thing as ethical consumption,” Nico said, tone grim and melancholy.

“He’s right, Thomas. After all- what’s the phrase? Ah yes… ‘we live in a society,’” a voice crooned. Nico jumped, nearly spilling the popcorn in the process, and looked over to see one of Thomas’s sides seated on the far end of the couch. The side’s appearance absolutely radiated “stereotypical villain” with the bowler hat, capelet, and yellow gloves- but Nico couldn’t help but be reminded of Crowley due to the scales on half his face and the piercing yellow snake eye. And he wasn’t sure why, but something in the way the side regarded Nico made him flush ever so slightly.

“Janus…” Thomas trailed off, pinching the bridge of his nose as if he felt a headache coming on.

“Now Thomas, we could be avoiding this guilt if we had just pirated the show like I insisted. But instead, we’re kissing up to-” the side- Janus- started, but was cut off by Thomas.

“There are… good points to what each of you are saying. But like I said before, there is no ethical consumption under capitalism. If we spent our time trying to debate the moral standards of each and every piece of media we consume- well, we wouldn’t really have anything to consume. And that doesn’t mean we should outright ignore things like a company treating their workers terribly, but we shouldn’t beat ourselves up over something that isn’t in the realm of our immediate control either. Instead, what we can do is sign petitions and look into how else we can support underpaid and overworked workers. Besides, Good Omens is arguably queer, Neil Gaiman himself has made that pretty clear. We don’t get much of that,” Nico pointed out. Thomas and Janus seemed to ponder this for a moment or two, until Janus’s face broke into a sly grin that definitely had Nico blushing.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. But pirating makes Virgil freak out cause what if I end up getting a virus when I download the show from a sketchy website and then all my data gets stolen, and then-” Thomas rambled, before Janus butted in.

“And Patton prattles on about how pirating is stealing, and stealing is wrong- but tell me, stealing from a corrupt company makes a right, don’t you think?” Janus said, gaze flicking to Nico for confirmation.

“I think I underestimated you, Mr. Flores,” Janus purred, and Nico’s face was absolutely burning at this point.

“And I thought Roman was handsome and charming,” Nico said in a strangled whisper, not really meaning to say what he was thinking out loud, but was glad he did when the human side of Janus’s face turned a bright red.

“I- erm. That’s- whatever,” Janus scoffed, examining his gloves in an excuse to not meet Nico’s gaze.

“Y’know, that’s impressive. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him speechless,” Thomas commented dryly. Janus merely hissed at Thomas in reply, and Nico couldn’t help but giggle.

“Well what I think is impressive is that you have a snakey crime side,” Nico said between laughs.

“Flatterer,” Janus accused, although he was absolutely preening at Nico’s comment.

“Maybe I just think my boyfriend and his sides deserve to be flattered,” Nico replied with a shrug. Thomas let out a flustered giggle, and Janus’s human side of his face was quickly turning red again.

“Well, obviously he does. I knew that,” Janus said, trying (and failing) to seem aloof.

“The flattering also includes you here, Janus,” Nico said with a chuckle.

“Really? Oh, I’m not sure about that,” he replied, smiling coyly. Nico grinned wickedly, and Thomas glanced between Nico and Janus in a mix of mild confusion and intrigue.

“Then I’m sure you’d absolutely hate to hear that I find you incredibly stunning,” Nico purred.

“Careful there, angel- lest you fall prey to the snake in the garden,” Janus replied with a grin, flashing fangs that Nico was pretty sure weren’t there before. His brain was a little too busy re-playing the way Janus had purred “angel” on loop to actually remember.

“Speaking of snakes in gardens and angels- are we ever going to get around to watching Good Omens today or not?” Thomas asked with a chuckle.

“In a minute! I haven’t figured out which one of your sides Janus is yet,” Nico protested, shaking off his flusteredness to regard Janus with a curious eye.

“Oh please, as if you could ever unravel the marvelous mystery that is-”

“Let’s see, sneaky, snarky, dramatic, cunning, wants to encourage Thomas to commit minor crimes… anything else I’m missing?” Nico asked, cutting Janus off.

“... you forgot s-s-snakey,” Janus pouted. Nico broke into giggles at the sudden shift in Janus’s demeanor.

“Right, you’re right, sorry. So… you’re his… trickery and cunning side?” Nico tried. Janus pondered his answer for a moment or two, before he broke into a pleased grin.

“Well, I do encompass those things as well, I suppose. So I’ll give it to you- but formally, I am Thomas’s Deceit,” he said, tipping his hat to Nico.

“Pleasure to meet you, Deceit. Well, with that settled, we can watch Good Omens now!” Nico said, patting the spot on the couch next to him. Janus looked surprised for a moment or two before he shook it off and his expression was back to smug indifference.

“Well, I suppose I can be tempted to stay,” Janus said, sinking out for a moment before reappearing next to Nico. After setting the popcorn on the coffee table first, Nico grabbed one of Janus’s hands to pull him into the cuddling he and Thomas were currently engaged in.

“Hey, you’re just letting him stay cause you want double the cuddles!” Thomas teased.

“What makes you say that?” Nico asked as he wrapped an arm around Janus- while more arms than were normal for a human being wrapped themselves around Nico.

“Don’t lie to a liar, darling,” Janus crooned as he snuggled himself into Nico’s chest. Thomas rolled his eyes fondly, and with his lingering guilt about Amazon aside, the three of them settled in to watch Good Omens.

-

Thomas and Nico were on a walk in a park nearby Thomas’s place, holding hands and swinging them idly between them every once and a while. Every now and then Nico would catch Thomas giving him an incredibly sappy look- but really, Nico couldn’t blame him. After all, he was sure his own expression was as equally lovestruck.

“So, have I met all of your sides yet?” Nico asked, the question meant to be casual, but he was surprised when Thomas’s face twisted with concern and mild guilt.

“Well… you’ve met all the ones I’ve met. There’s still other parts of me that I have yet to confront,” Thomas said with a sigh.

“That’s okay! Learning about yourself is an ongoing process! And to put you at ease, there isn’t a part of you that I’ve met that I don’t love,” Nico said with an unabashedly adoring smile. This admission halted Thomas in his tracks, and he looked to Nico with wide eyes.

“Really?” he asked softly.

“Really,” Nico murmured, pulling Thomas into a kiss. Thomas made an elated sound against his mouth, holding Nico close as they kissed. When the kiss broke, he didn’t go very far, leaning his forehead against Nico’s.

“I love you too, you know,” Thomas said sheepishly.

“I know,” Nico replied with a grin, then gave Thomas another quick kiss before pulling away. He grabbed Thomas’s hand again, and the two of them continued their walk, hopelessly in love with every single part of the other.

-

Sanders Sides Tag List (send an ask/dm me to be added/removed!): @4amanxiety @adorably-angsty @alix-the-skeleton @allthemetalsoftherainbow @anxious-fander-bean @armageddonhascome @backatthebein @bangthekobrakid @bloodropsblog @cefinitely-rolo @coffeestudylive @cosmic-chu @cyndaquil17 @dani-jeanso @didsomeonesayprince @emphoenixcat @every-day-insomniac @fandomsandanythingelse @flix-net @freekiphotography @freepaperie081 @giant-motha-fuckin-snake @hanramz-the-fander @hhhhhhhhhhfjaskfsagfhasfgdsakfsa @i-need-a-social-life-2710 @i-really-dig-the-purple @ironwoman359 @justanotherpurplebutterfly @k1ngtok1 @kanejandkruge @kitsuneprideleader @kittycake574 @le2712 @littlemiracle05 @loganpatton @look-its-meme @loverofpizzaandallthingssweet @lynlinked @mewsicalmiss @midnightcandy @moonstonefox @musicsavedmefromdeath @mystrangedarkson @nightmarejasmine @not-as-smart @of-treble-and-dragons @punsterterry @purplepatton @quoth-the-sparrow @radioactivehelena @royallyanxious @ruuworld @sanders-trash-4ever @save-me-oh-dream-of-mine @shadowsfromthesun @shygirl4991 @sleepyssnail @softbludemon @softnic @sombraplayslazertag @sos-fandoms @sweetkirbi @that-one-garbage-nerd @theatresweetheart @the-fandoms-are-takin-over @thelowlysatsuma @theresneverenoughfandoms @thisrandomperson102 @thuriweaver @vigilantvirgil @virgilantanon @yetanother-fangirl

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

On and Off

Two sides are having a pissing match. The other four (and maybe Thomas) try to get them to chill the fuck out and/or apologize. It goes about how you'd expect. - diamond-blade

also! did a quick look and realized that I've posted consistently every week for going on three years now which uhhhhh wow time is passing

but I've realized that i want to work on some of my original projects and i'm struggling right now to find time to do both fics and do that so i wanted to ask and see how y'all would feel if I took a bit longer to post stuff or took a brief hiatus

nothing firm yet just casting my net

Read on Ao3

Warnings: an argument/possible unsympathetic logan and/or janus but nothing major

Pairings: none

Word Count: 2377

"Thank you, Logan."

"Of course. I'm happy to help out both on and off camera."

And that could've been the end of it, had Logan not caught Janus trying to hide a scoff. 

"Well," Logan says as the Sides rise back up into their own living room, "I'd say that went well."

"Yeah!" Patton rubs his hands together, smiling gleefully around as the rest of them shake off the 'personas' they wear for filming with Thomas. He adjusts his glasses and claps his hands. "Oh, it's so nice to be filming with all of us again, it's been so long!"

"Wait, has it really?"

"I think so, I mean, it's been since…"

"Oh, shit—"

"Language!"

"Sorry, Pat," Virgil apologizes, "but yeah, I think it's been since…Remus's introduction?"

"No, no," Logan corrects, "technically the five-year anniversary is the last time we were all involved in a filming process."

"Wait, but weren't we technically all involved in—you know what, I'm just gonna look it up."

Janus rolls his eyes. "Regardless, Patton is right. It's been…not unpleasant."

Virgil slowly raises his eyes from his phone. "Was that sarcasm or no?"

"I don't think it was, kiddo, but—"

"Oh, for crying out loud, yes, I had fun."

"I don't know, Patton, it still seems like—alright, alright, hey, hey!" Virgil holds his arms up to defend himself from Janus's pillow-wielding arms. "Enough! I give, I give!"

Janus sniffs as he sets the pillows down, trying and failing to hide the fond smile on his face, when his attention catches on the twins. "Roman? Remus? Are you two alright?"

Both of them startle, as if they'd forgotten everyone else was in the room. Roman recovers first, quickly putting on a bright smile and waving his hand nonchalantly.

"Yes, of course, my dear snake, we're both alright."

Virgil narrows his eyes. "You know we're done filming now, right? You don't have to keep doing…that."

"Maybe that's just how he feels," Remus shoots back as Roman blinks, "how about you keep your nose out of it?"

Patton raises his hands. "Whoa, kiddos, let's take a second."

"Remus, are you…good? Is something wrong?"

The twins exchange a quick look before Roman takes a deep breath. "Character bleed."

Logan makes an ah sound as the rest of them look around in confusion. "The twins—as Creativity in general—have a harder time 'leaving the filming space,' so to speak, and so it can be harder for them to leave the 'characters' they portray for Thomas's videos."

"Thank you, Logan."

"Of course. I'm happy to help out both on and off camera."

And that could've been the end of it, had Logan not caught Janus trying to hide a scoff.

"Is there something you take issue with, Janus?"

"Oh, nothing, nothing," he says in a tone that belies just how much there is, "just…marveling at your capabilities."

"Okay," Virgil mutters, "that was definitely sarcasm."

"Indeed." Logan draws himself up a little taller. "Speak plainly."

"Oh, and I'd never dream of disobeying an order from you." Janus holds a hand to his chest and gives him a look. "After all, we all know just how important you are."

"I am important. We all are. Has that not been the crux of the latest discussions we've had with Thomas?"

"Mm, yes. Important. Invaluable." Janus examines an imaginary speck of dirt on his gloves. "Where would we be without your priceless font of wisdom?"

"Okay, guys—" Roman steps forward, raising his hands—"I don't know what this is about, but—"

"I also don't know," Logan interrupts before Roman can finish, "Janus, why don't you tell us what this is all about?"

Janus mock-gasps, holding his hand over his mouth. "Logan? Doesn't know something? What a travesty!"

"Janny," Remus says, voice oddly serious, "don't do that. What's your beef with Logan?"

"Have you seriously not noticed?" Janus gestures around, mock attitude disappearing in a flash. "All of you, you're just letting him get away with it?"

"Get away with what?"

"He keeps insinuating that he's the most important character! On and on about how much we don't listen to him, or overlook him, and all of this and it's insufferable!"

"Whoa, wait, hang on—"

"No," Janus interrupts, "you know it's true."

"We're building up to his character arc," Roman says, "of course he's going to have a bit more prominence in the videos, we've been over this, we did the same thing for you! And Patton! And Virgil!"

"Oh, please, I never spent an entire meeting all smug with a stick up my ass about how important my character was to the narrative."

"I have never once," Logan says gravely, "attended any of our meetings with Thomas with a stick up my ass."

"But you don't deny being smug about being important!"

Logan's brow pinches and he straightens his tie, standing to his full height. "There is a difference between being smug about one's own self-importance and being confident in one's worth. Though I wouldn't expect you to know the difference."

Janus's expression twitches. "And why not, O Wonderful Logan who Knows All Things and Can Do No Wrong?"

"Simple. You embody the sense of self-preservation that only seeks to protect, defend, and better itself. Your very existence prompted the Selfishness versus Selflessness arc to begin with. It follows that you wouldn't recognize the difference between a healthy sense of self and an unhealthy one."

"Logan," Patton says, "that's not fair, he—"

He falters when Janus starts laughing.

"The truth," he crows almost triumphantly, "at last! God forbid we have nuance, god forbid anyone express themselves differently to you, god forbid someone try and offer insight when they're not you."

"If you'll recall," Logan says, voice sharpening, "all of your attempts at teaching something have ended in failure or other disastrous consequences."

"Because they were scripted to be that way. And oh, look, let's remember, who argued for that? Oh, that's right, it was you!"

"The closest you got to succeeding was when you impersonated me."

"And yet I managed to accomplish something that you didn't in all the episodes beforehand."

"Do you now understand how building stories works? It takes time to resolve issues, it takes work, you need pacing—"

"And a villain to defeat, right?"

Logan's silence is telling.

"That's what you've made of me, isn't it? Just some bad guy to be redeemed? A snake, tempting you all away from the path of righteousness," Janus hisses, glaring around at all of them, "while he gets to stand there unquestioned?"

"My role is to provide clarity. Yours is to obfuscate. Or have you forgotten, Deceit, the way in which you were introduced?"

It's Janus's turn to fall silent as Logan raises his chin.

"You impersonated Patton, Morality. You manipulated both Creativities to your own end, using Roman to ingratiate yourself with Thomas and Remus as the consequences for disobeying you. You held Virgil's past and secrets over him and yes," he finishes in a near growl, "you impersonated and attacked me."

He takes a step closer.

"You have always used us as a scaffolding to climb to get closer to Thomas, closer to the center of the videos. Don't forget that."

"And what exactly have you been doing?" Janus stares defiantly back at him. "Do you know how many videos are just you versus another Side? Do you know how often you're defined by your disagreements with all of us? Do you know how often you are the one who needs to be taught instead of teaching?"

He scoffs.

"You talk about what I've done to Roman and Remus but at least I know what I've done. You, you just pretend to be the impartial one who never takes a side, always about what's logical, what's right, never acknowledging the nuance in what you pretend is unquestionable."

"What do you want," Logan asks suddenly, "we finish filming and immediately you pick a fight with me, what are you getting out of this?"

"Because you're creating the very situations you keep decrying!" Janus throws his hands up. "Your whole arc, the things we've been seeding into the videos, they were by and large your ideas! Half of the things we pitch and script have come from your brain and then when we film and release the videos, you sulk about how much you're being overlooked and how frustrating it is to have us not listen to you!"

Logan draws himself up but remains silent.

"You can't construct the narrative to do something and then be all 'boo hoo, the narrative is ignoring me and overlooking me,' that's not true! Don't act like some terribly mistreated tragic hero when it's you who's put yourself in that situation." Janus glares at him. "I'm sick of you acting like you're the overlooked and underappreciated character when you're the one advocating for the plot points in the meetings like you're the most important character!"

"Well, maybe I am!"

The room goes quiet in the aftermath of Logan's shout. He steps even closer to Janus.

"You said it yourself, we don't examine how Logic can be subject to bias even though it claims to be impartial. We've yet to explore how important it is to examine your own biases that you don't even know about yet. So yes, maybe I am the most important when it comes to that, maybe I'm the only one who can do that."

"How dare you," Janus says lowly, "how dare you accuse me of being nothing but selfish when you gladly stand here and appoint yourself the most important?"

"I've never had to claw my way to importance using the misfortune of other Sides that I myself inflicted."

"And yet it's taken you this long to have an arc of your own?"

"You don't start with the biggest arc, you—"

"Oh, the biggest arc? Getting a bit self-aggrandizing, are we?"

"You would know! Was there a boundary you didn't cross on your quest to be featured more prominently?"

"No, because if you'll remember, we all participated in making sure my arc would work for everybody. I asked—"

"You're a new character! You needed to fit with all of us, you needed to—"

"Conform to what you wanted, I see, I see, oh, it's all becoming clear now. You're right, Logan, you really do provide clarity."

"I will not be blamed for the ignorance of others!"

"Oh, you're calling me ignorant now? You really do just devolve into insulting others' intelligence when you don't get your way, don't you?"

"It's not an insult if it's true."

"So I could call you an egotistical hypocrite and that wouldn't be an insult?"

Logan's eyes flare with orange. "Don't you dare—"

"Enough!"

A blinding flash of light fills the room and everyone winces. When it fades, Roman and Remus are standing between the two of them, Roman's arms out to Janus to hold him back, Remus's feet braced to keep Logan at bay.

"Both of you stop it," Roman says firmly, "you're both being ridiculous."

"Looks like we're not the only ones suffering from character bleed." Remus stands up, giving a warning look to Logan as he lets him go. "You two need to remember that we're not actually fighting each other, we're all working together on a project where we play characters with opposing viewpoints."

"But he's—"

"Stop," Roman says, raising his voice and cutting Janus off, "you just picked a fight for no reason. I don't care if your concerns were valid or not, there was no reason to act on them like that in front of everyone."

Janus glowers but lowers his head.

"If you felt like you weren't being heard in the meetings or if you wanted the opportunity to have a teaching role in upcoming videos—" here Janus's head snapped up, for he didn't realize Roman had realized— "you can bring that up at the meeting in a way that isn't this."

"And you," Remus says before Logan can look too smug, "can get right off that high horse of yours."

"But I—"

"You're not blameless in this either," Remus says, "Janus is right. You've been acting a bit too big for your booty shorts recently, especially in scripting meetings. You talk all big about how you want to write your arc and make sure that this story gets told and then you mope about how your character is getting ignored on camera. And then you treat us, not our characters, us, like shit because of the narrative that you wanted to write. You can't have it both ways."

Logan avoids Remus's gaze as he fiddles with his glasses.

"Now," Roman says, "we're all going to go get out of character and decompress for a while, and then when we're all ready, we can have a discussion about the videos. Whether or not we go to Thomas can be decided later. Yes?"

A small chorus of 'yes's from around the room. Patton and Virgil make eye contact and sink out quickly, probably to go decompress together and talk about what just happened while they redo Virgil's nail polish. Roman gives one last warning look to Janus as he opens his mouth to say something.

"I'm sorry, Logan."

Logan looks up.

"I shouldn't…I shouldn't have picked a fight like that. That was rude."

Remus looks at Logan who swallows. "I'm…sorry too. I…I've been excited about getting an arc after so long and I guess I...got over-excited."

"Go decompress," Remus says to both of them, "we can talk this out later."

Both of them sink out, each giving apologetic and hopeful looks to the other. As they go, Roman shakes his head.

"It feels fitting that we're the ones with the most fraught dynamic on camera and the least fraught off camera, doesn't it?"

"You're telling me. Part of me wants to send them to therapy before we keep working on Thomas's fake video one."

"Is that the Logan part of you or the Janus part of you?"

"The part of me that wants to go fuck around in the Imagination before we have to sit through another 'I feel' meeting."

Roman groans sympathetically before a manic gleam comes to his face. "Race you there!"

"Hey, no cheating!"

General Taglist: @frxgprince@potereregina@gattonero17@iamhereforthegayshit@thefingergunsgirl@awkwardandanxiousfander@creative-lampd-liberties@djpurple3@winterswrandomness@sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes@iminyourfandom@bullet-tothefeels@full-of-roman-angst-trash  @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind@demoniccheese83@pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious@firefinch-ember@fandomssaremysoul@im-an-anxious-wreck@crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch@enby-ralsei@unicornssunflowersandstuff@wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv  @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams@averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb  @cricketanne @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws@cecil-but-gayer@i-am-overly-complicated@annytheseal@alias290@tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance @whyiask@crows-ace @emilythezeldafan@frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires@cyanide-violence@oonagh2@xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx@rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734@triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo@cerulean-watermelon@puffed-up-bees@meltheromanstan@joyrose-fandomer@insanitori@mavenmush@justablah65@10paradox10@uhhh-hi-there-i-am-nervous@cutebisexualmess@bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti @ultrageekygirl  

[jwillowwolf]

With All My Heart

Analogical Week 2022! Day 6: Dark/Light

Tag List: @analogicalweek

< Day 5 | Masterlist | Day 7 >

Summary: “Were these your vows?”

“They were meant to be.”

“What do you mean, meant to be?”

“Well, when I saw your papa during the ceremony, I completely forgot what I was supposed to do…”

Warning/s: none.

Characters: Virgil, Thomas, and Logan

Read on AO3

“Why does Uncle Remus have a rat in your wedding photos?”

“He was taking care of her for a friend and really wanted to let her be a part of the big day.”

“And you let him?”

Virgil shrugged. “I thought it was funny. The photographer’s reaction alone was hilarious.”

“Did she have a name?”

“I think it was Squire Nibbles. You’d have to ask Remus to confirm.”

Thomas nodded and turned his attention back to the scrapbook. “Oh, there’s a card here. Were these your vows?”

“They were meant to be.”

“What do you mean, meant to be?”

“Well, when I saw your papa during the ceremony, I completely forgot what I was supposed to do…”

How was he meant to remember anyway when he was standing at the altar with the love of his life. He’d dreamt of this moment enough that Virgil almost thought it was a dream. Then, the officiant was prompting him to say his vows and he felt like it was a nightmare.

“Um, so, I’ve forgotten what I was going to say. But can you blame me?” He asked, gesturing to Logan, who blushed as some of the crowd awed and giggled. “I’m not even sure anymore that what I planned to say is worthy of this moment. I feel like all of my dreams are finally coming true; even though we’re just at the beginning. Gosh, it’s already been so many years since we started dating, and even longer since we became friends, yet this moment means a whole new beginning. I have no idea what the future has in store for us, but I’m so grateful to have this moment. To have you here with me. You’re my best friend and soulmate, so I promise that I’ll do my best for us no matter what comes our way. Because I love you, Logan, with all my heart.”

At this point, a couple of attendants were wiping tears from their eyes. Patton was nearly sobbing and even Logan looked moved by Virgil’s words.

“Virgil, I, well, I also prepared my own vows but they don’t seem worthy of the moment. I don’t think I ever imagined that I’d find someone who could understand and love me as completely as you do. We don’t agree on everything and we’re far from perfect, but I feel like what we have is as close to perfect as possible. You’ve been with me for years now, through every struggle and obstacle. Every triumph and celebration. For better or worse, we’ve stuck by each other this long. And I can’t wait to see what more we’ll do with this new chapter of our lives. Even though I feel like you deserve it, I can’t promise you the world, so I’ll settle for promising that myself. Come what may, we’ll stay together as we always have. I love you, Virgil, with all my heart.”

Virgil felt tears welling up in his own eyes and just barely registered the officiant pronouncing them married before he pulled Logan into a kiss and the crowd cheered.

All throughout the reception, they got compliments on their improvised vows, and while the newlyweds were quite proud of their words, they still felt like it wasn’t enough to express how much they loved each other. But that didn’t matter, because they still had the rest of their lives for that. So, they would continue to remind each other ‘I love you, with all my heart’.

[delimeful]

my virtues uncounted (6)

warnings: panic attack, fear, arguing

there will probably be an epilogue after this, but we're nearing the end of this story! :)

-

Virgil floated into consciousness with surprisingly little pain, considering the last thing he remembered was bleeding out from a stab wound.

He wasn’t entirely sure how the others’ returned after discorporating-- they weren’t much in the habit of randomly sharing vulnerabilities-- but for him, it was always rushed, his reformation slapdash at best. It was probably part of being Anxiety: he couldn’t stand the idea of being ‘out of it’ for long, not when anything could be happening to Thomas with his influence muted.

So, he would come back to himself with whatever injury that killed him barely knitted back together, and grit his teeth and bear it for the next few weeks while it slowly healed. One of his recurring nightmares was the Light Sides finding out about it, using it to keep him out of commission to ‘help’ Thomas. It seemed… less likely, after meeting them.

Meeting them. Right. He’d done that.

A low thrum of panic in his gut chased the lingering sleepiness from him, and he pushed himself into a sitting position as quickly as he dared, figuring that he might as well test the boundaries of his lack of stab wound pain before he snuck over to check that the core parts of Thomas had all made it through okay. Or before he encountered Remus again.

The first thing he registered was that there wasn’t any pain, none at all.

The second thing was that everything was proportionally huge around him.

The third thing was that these absolutely were not the Dark Side commons.

His heart rate spiked immediately as he whipped his head around, staring at what could only be the Light Side common area. He’d only caught a glimpse of it before, with the whole ‘bleeding out’ thing, and it looked impossibly different from where he stood on the living room table. Now that he was paying attention, he could feel the way Thomas was so much closer here than in the Subconscious, like the difference between shallow water and the depths.

He shook himself. Now wasn’t the time to get caught up in how much easier core Sides had it. There were bigger things to worry about, literally. He hadn’t discorporated, he was in the Conscious part of the mind, and he was tiny-- through no doing of his own.

Oh. They wanted revenge.

Virgil kicked away the assortment of tiny blankets around him and got to his feet, blood rushing in his ears. He’d been an asshole to them while they were stuck in the Subconscious, so they were returning the favor. Why else would they have healed him and turned him pocket-sized? It was the only explanation that made sense.

The commons were just shy of completely disorienting while empty, so he certainly wasn’t going to stick around for something as overwhelming as a Side to appear. He hurried to the edge of the table, eyeing the drop with no little trepidation. Was he lighter like this, or would he land heavily on the carpet below and break half his bones?

He shouldn’t risk it. No point in doing half the work for his captors.

If he could get a running start to the other end of the table, he might be able to make the jump to the couch, though. From there… maybe pushing a pillow to the ground. Could he even move a pillow at this size?

Another shudder worked its way through him, something small and terrified in the back of his mind shrieking at the way everything around him had changed. Had this been how the others had felt? He shook his head, stepping back from the edge and turning to face the other end of the table. He couldn’t freak out yet. Not until he was safe.

There was a distant phone alarm, the generic sort that Thomas had come to resent after using it for his morning alarm for months on end. Virgil felt a chill of foreboding pass over him, and a heartbeat later, he heard the telltale woosh of one of the core Sides rising up next to the table.

Their shadow fell over Virgil, impossibly large, and he bolted.

There was a voice, but he couldn’t pick out the words past the blood rushing in his ears, his own breathing, and the panicked rush of thoughts that came with picking flight. He focused on the jump ahead instead, the length of table ahead of him growing shorter and shorter until he was nearly to the edge, muscles tensed to leap.

The light around him being blocked out was the only warning he got before his view of the world was suddenly cut off. Half a second later, his momentum was halted by a collision with something soft, warm, and alive. He recoiled as sharply as he could, but there were already what could only be fingers curling around him, his stomach dropping as he was lifted clear off the table’s surface, his center of gravity shifting against his will.

If he hadn’t been panicking before, he certainly was now, his breaths coming shallow and shaky, barely bringing in any air as black spots started to dot his vision.

He was in someone’s hand. They could do anything to him, and he wouldn’t be able to do anything to stop it, would probably deserve it, but it would hurt and couldn’t they have just let him discorporate--

The low, calm voice that had been rumbling in the background paused for a moment, and then they were moving again, his nausea growing as everything moved too fast around him, like a car someone else was driving but a hundred times worse.

And then, abruptly, there was solid ground under his feet again. The hand opened around him.

Virgil dropped to his hands and knees immediately, pressing his forehead against the table to both quell his dizziness and find something to ground himself. He was hyperaware of the warmth emanating from the hand that still bracketed him on one side, like a shield or a threat.

The Side was still talking, though Virgil still couldn’t quite parse the words. Despite his incoherence, the hand didn’t even twitch, no underlying threat to whatever it was they were saying to him. His breathing settled a bit despite himself. The implied promise that they weren’t going to outright attack him shouldn’t have been so reassuring, but it was.

His head slightly clearer, he slowly pushed himself back up to sit back on his heels, looking up to see who had found him.

It was undoubtedly Logan, though he’d never seen those glasses and tie at such a warped scale before. He could have figured it out earlier, if he’d just been listening; neither Roman nor Patton tended to be so carefully enunciated with their words.

Logan’s words, right. He was counting, which confused Virgil for a moment-- was this an experiment? Something to see how long the local idiot spent caught up in a panic attack when he was supposed to be a survival instinct-- until he caught on to the way Logan’s chest rose and fell along with the numbers. A breathing exercise.

He was kind of surprised, in that pleasant ‘pessimist-proven-wrong’ sort of way, but it figured that the Sides up here would offer even their captive literal time to breathe. He let himself follow along with the pattern for a few more moments before clearing his throat roughly and forcing himself to speak.

“Hey.”

Logan paused, looking down at him. “Hello.”

There was a short, slightly awkward pause, in which Logan seemed to flounder while Virgil refused to apologize for being kidnapped and reduced to doll size, even if he’d just had a completely image-ruining breakdown over it.

“Are you alright?” Logan finally settled on, his gaze piercing as it swept over him as though searching for injuries. “I apologize for not warning you, but I needed to stop you from recklessly endangering yourself. I didn’t intend for my actions to trigger a panic attack.”

“Yeah, who would freak out over some little old thing like being picked up by a giant hand,” Virgil snapped back sharply, his sarcasm coming out a little less biting than usual after such a draining attack. “It’s not like I’m the embodiment of Anxiety or anything.”

“You are Anxiety, though.” Logan shifted, the motion jarring his hand slightly, and Virgil barely managed to contain his flinch. “And as such, I’m surprised that you would entertain the idea of unnecessarily trying to fling yourself off of a considerable height at your size.”

Virgil squinted at him, trying to figure out if he was serious. “Unnecessarily?”

“Clearly? I cannot imagine why your first solution would be to attempt something so risky, though it’s possible I’m missing some vital context,” Logan replied, his face scrunching up slightly in confusion. “Perhaps the others--,” he lifted a hand.

“Wait!” A surge of panic forced Virgil to his feet, but it was too late. The summons registered, and Creativity and Morality wasted virtually no time in rising up, both of them instantly looking to him instead of Logan.

“Anxiety!” they both cried, and they didn’t sound mad, but that didn’t really mean anything, did it?

They crowded forward, and Virgil couldn’t keep himself rigid this time, his whole body jerking back and bumping into Logan’s hand.The mixed signals-- hide versus get away-- left him frozen, cowering under that pitiful defense.

“Anxiety?” Patton tried, and the concern in his voice was enough to convince him to look up and meet the other Side’s gaze. “Are you okay, kiddo?”

“I’m stuck in a room with three giants, what do you think?” he spat automatically, his shoulders hunching up like they could protect him.

Patton’s mouth twisted in a sympathetic sort of way, and he moved to sit, scrunching his body down slightly so that he was more-or-less level with the table. “It’s all kind of overwhelming, huh?”

With a simple glance from the moral Side, Roman followed suit and Logan settled back on his heels, having already been kneeling. Virgil stared between the three of them, his skin prickling with nerves.

Behind him, Logan’s hand moved. Virgil immediately crouched, ducking his head down and lifting his arms in an ineffective attempt to ward off whatever was happening. There was a beat of silence, and when he glanced up, he found that Logan had simply retracted his hand, apparently convinced that Virgil wasn’t planning on a repeat of his escape attempt. Or that the three huge Sides surrounding Anxiety was enough of a cage in itself.

“We’re not going to hurt you, Jack and the Beanstalker,” Roman lied, doing an impressive job of sounding confused and harmless. “You’re not in the Subconscious anymore.”

A bitter laugh bubbled up in Virgil, one that he didn’t bother to stifle. “Yeah, right. I’m not an idiot, Princey. Remus got you all twisted up over what he did and I was an asshole and now you’re paying the favor forward, I get it. You don’t have to lie about it.”

The three of them exchanged complicated glances, ones that admittedly looked more upset and horrified than conspiring, but Virgil refused to buy the act.

“We’re not lying to you!” Roman insisted, making Virgil scoff. Patton’s face started to take on that kicked-puppy cast, and Virgil averted his gaze, feeling hot anger bubble up in him at Patton’s involvement. How was any of this right and moral?

“I live with Deceit, you’re not going to fool me. Just get whatever you’re going to do to me over with,” he forced out, grimacing when his voice wobbled slightly at the end.

“Anxiety.” Logan leaned forwards, meeting his gaze with utmost seriousness. “Perhaps it will help if you understand our motives for your current state. Can you tell me how much you remember from our escape?”

“Remus found us and turned me into a pincushion,” Virgil deadpanned, a hand moving to settle over his gut. He knew now that he probably hadn’t discorporated, but he could still barely believe that there was no pain there. Core Sides could just do that? “And then you three decided to turn me pincushion-sized, I guess. How is that not revenge?”

“It was to save your life!” Roman cried dramatically, looking very put-out. “And to keep you from going back to the Subconscious and my brother, y’know, the guy who was tormenting us for fun!”

“To save my-- we can’t die!” Virgil snarled, pushing his complex feelings about Remus down in favor of twisting the fabric of his hoodie in his hands. “You trapped me up here, no room, no powers, no height, and you expected me to be grateful?!”

“We weren’t trying to trap you,” Patton interjected, looking between him and Roman worriedly. “And we aren’t going to hurt you, I promise.”

Roman, who had drawn himself up in outraged offense, visibly deflated. “Patton’s right. You know he wouldn’t lie to you about something like this.”

Virgil hesitated despite himself.

“The problem of your current stature is one that we know how to fix,” Logan took the opportunity to add, fiddling with his tie. “Once you summon your room to this level of the mind, you will be able to find security and power within it, and we won’t bother you while you recover your lost energy.”

“Woah, woah,” Virgil held his hands up to stall further explanation, feeling thrown off. “Who said anything about putting my room up here?”

Roman raised a disbelieving eyebrow. “What, you want to be that size around a vengeful Remus?”

“I wouldn’t be this size if you hadn’t meddled!” Virgil snapped, scowling fiercely

“We weren’t going to just let you die,” Patton burst out, looking downright distraught. “You saved us. You didn’t want to rise up and you knew it would make your friends upset, but you did it anyhow. It wouldn’t be right, to just… not try to save you back!”

Virgil gaped for a moment, his next prepared retort completely upended. “No, I… that’s my job. Of course I did that. You don’t owe me for it.”

“Anxiety, Roman prevented your discorporation because he wanted to help you. Not to repay a perceived debt,” Logan informed him, his words stiff but genuine.

Roman shot Logan a look, heaving a dramatic sigh before turning back to Virgil. “All of us wanted to help, Gloomy B. Jones. Who wouldn’t choose to revive a party member who nearly perished heroically on a quest?”

In what universe was Roman calling him a hero? Inside his hoodie pocket, Virgil pinched himself, his confusion rising when everything refused to turn out to be a dream. Even a terrible plot twist like that would be more understandable to him than whatever was happening right now.

For that matter, they couldn’t really be implying what he thought they were implying.

“You really want me to pull my room up here. And be a… a core Side.”

Looking from face to face, he found no trace of anger or mockery, only earnestness. A genuine offer. He shook his head, his heart somehow racing even harder.

“What about when I have to do the other part of my job? The part you guys all hate me for?” he reminded them harshly. “I bet you won’t be so keen on my presence then.” He could easily imagine how well that would go over. Could a Side be cast out from both parts of the mind?

Patton shuffled forward a bit, his hands flapping like he wanted to reach out reassuringly but knew that Virgil would absolutely lose his shit if he even tried. “It’s like you said, kiddo. You want to keep Thomas safe, and we want that, too!”

“You’ve more than proven yourself willing to compromise when it counts,” Logan said, and then added wryly, “Statistically, the three of us already spend a fair amount of our time arguing before we come to a decision anyways.”

“Seriously?” Virgil asked, and Logan gestured to the necktie emphatically.

“That’s right! You may be as contrary as your jittery little heart desires, and you’ll still be in excellent company,” Roman piped up, gesturing to himself magnanimously. After a moment, he let the posturing fade into something more serious. “Anxiety, we don’t have to agree on everything for you to deserve better. Won’t you at least give us a chance?”

Virgil scrubbed his hands through his hair roughly, turning away despite his misgivings. Apart from that first incident with Logan, they hadn’t grabbed him, hadn’t even touched him despite knowing that he couldn’t do anything to stop them. At some point between that first disastrous meeting and now, they’d stopped treating him like an enemy.

He’d have to go back down there and explain at some point, but he couldn’t deny that the idea of not being repressed was one that seemed almost too good to be true. Deceit wouldn’t be happy, but maybe this would be the proof they all needed, that separating the Sides and hiding some of them from Thomas wasn’t working as well as they pretended it did.

It could be an opportunity. It could be… good.

“Alright,” he said, turning back to where they’d all been waiting, “I’ll pull my room up. I’ll-- I’ll try. That’s the best you’re going to get.”

And as the others cheered or smiled victoriously, he felt like maybe it was worth a shot after all.

[fangirlwriting-stories]

Hello darling ❤️ gosh I can't even pick one but like, god— PROTECTOR. I actually wanted to wait for it to be posted in full before reading it all at once but like, I know how much you love the relationships between the characters in the fic and how messy and nuanced and just shsksjs they are. (the brotherly dukexiety in particular is 🥺✨👌🏽👏🏽😭). So can you talk a bit more about that? Like, the relationships between each character etc? I would love to hear you ramble about the Bois 💜💚

God, the relationships. The relationships in this fic are my favorite part and also the bane of my fucking existence. They are the entire reason this fic is 111,000 words and not like, 45,000. Well, that and the fact that Virgil and Janus flat out refused to talk about anything, and then they refused to talk about everything at the same time, and then by the time they finally got to the point I needed them to in order to move the plot forward it was goddamn chapter 18.

But mostly it was Virgil’s fault. Virgil was supposed to be angry at the core sides and stay angry at the core sides, but no, he had to start caring about them, which overrode just enough of his anger to make everything way more complicated, the little shit. Virgil’s relationship with Remus was actually the easy one, he was always supposed to care about Remus to the point of causing problems for everyone else. What he wasn’t supposed to do was start caring about Remus’ stupid asshole princey brother, or the softie Patton, or the robot Logan, or the actual asshole that abandoned them in the first place. Virgil you’re supposed to be a prick, why do you have to secretly be such a softie?

Anyway, yeah, specifics. Writing Patton and Virgil was fun because I got to make a ton of bonding and tender moments and symbolism out of things like Patton showing Virgil how to cook or do the laundry. They’re the entire reason I love writing realistic fiction, I get to shove so much character into those moments. It’s not about the laundry guys, it’s about they love each other!

Logan and Virgil was supposed to be how Virgil learned a couple coping skills without Logan realizing that’s what was happening, but then Virgil accidentally stumbled into a friendship that worked really well for both of them. Virgil being surprised that he cared so much about his time sitting with Logan was a bit of a surprise to me too. Honestly so much of this story was Virgil telling me through the writing “my feelings about this have changed” and me going “seriously? Okay I guess we’re doing this now, great”

Roman and Virgil were probably the most similar to how they are in canon, in that they fought quite a bit until something forced a perspective change, the only difference being the perspective change was caused by Janus. I do remember when I sent you (Mishii) the “Why do you have to be so much like our brother” line and we both just started screaming “OUR BROTHER” back and forth xD

Virgil and Janus, as I said, were this story’s biggest stallers. They didn’t want to talk. They didn’t want to do it they didn’t want to talk and no matter how many times I got at their feet and begged them they just wouldn’t do it they’re so goddamn stubborn I can’t take it—

Anyway they have the most complicated relationship throughout the story, for obvious reasons. Virgil’s dealing with the very difficult situation of realizing that someone who was shitty family to you is very good family to other people, and it’s naturally gonna cause some confusing and complicated feelings. These two still have a bit to go for the rest of the story, but the place they end is both inevitable and fucking exhausting for me, the author.

Virgil and Thomas were about how they were in canon, just in a different order. Thomas is kind and understanding at first because that’s who he is, and learns things about Virgil he later thinks are lies but are actually true. So his feelings fluctuate a lot, while Virgil’s stay positive throughout, whether it’s complicated love, uncomplicated love, complicated love again, and ending on uncomplicated love. Thomas is always his Thomas, it’s just his behavior that’s changing.

And Virgil and Remus, despite being the story’s most important relationship, are also the least complicated one. They’re just ride or die brothers and best friends who have each others back, and I love them for it. Guys, thank you for staying consistent for me and just agreeing that you love each other, you made my job slightly more easy than it would have been.

Anyway. Wow this got long. Fuck characters having free will. It makes the story better but it is fucking annoying for me.

[logically-asexual]

thinking about the five stages of grief and Logan's arc of unnacceptance

yes. what you just read. i don't think that's what is going to happen in the show, but i think it's a story that would be really cool and work very well with what Thomas has been going through ever since he gave up on being an engineer.

like, think about it.

he doesn't have to become an angry resentful Dark Side, he doesn't have to make the choice himself to leave them out of spite, he doesn't have to change his role to something else. in my head is more like a natural aspect of life and growing up, to simply not identify with a part of you anymore, so it just simply won't take a main role in any of your life decisions anymore.

Thomas doesn't want to keep going to school, he doesn't want a desk job, he doesn't want to pretend to be serious to his acquaintances, he doesn't want to stick to deadlines or schedules, just working when he feels like it and resting when he needs it. Thomas grew out of all that because that's just who he is as a person, as an adult, and that's alright. but it would be a bumpy road until he and every Side of himself makes peace with it.

does Thomas himself know that this is what is on it's way to happening? does Logan know? unclear, maybe they get a vague sense of it, by the rejection every other part of Thomas is showing toward Logan. they will all have to accept eventually, which leads me to the five stages of grief:

Denial: most clear in Moving On. Logan still hopes that one day Thomas will go back to acedemia, even if he doesn't, that he takes a course or two to keep giving Logan a reason to be needed. Logan clings to the idea that he was needed and important in the past, therefore he could be wanted again in the future.

Anger: Learning New Things About Ourselves. he's tired of Thomas insisting on this lifestyle that he doesn't consider serious. he coincedes in the end that what can be taken seriously is subjective, but what is Logan left with then? will he change to find a way that better fits Thomas to be "serious" and to make his job more "stable"? or will Thomas turn to another Side for the new meanings of these concepts?

Bargaining: Putting Others First. he literally asks himself in what way can I participate in the conversation without being intrusive, so that they don't push me away? how can i make myself better? how can i be "cool" for them so they want to keep me around?

and we're left with only two, which are Depression, and Acceptance.

and i mean, that "i will spare you my company" at the end of the last episode was already a sign to that. Logan would feel defeated, there's nothing he can do. this was what was supposed to happen and it's been happening for years already. it hurts him, but he just doesn't have a place on Thomas' decision making by default. Virgil, Patton and Roman are there by default, they're the main parts of Thomas, you can see them in every word he says and almost every decision he makes. but the others are not there always, other, less important, Sides are just in the backseat, waiting for a moment to show up.

that's what Logan's fate is, and what he (and Thomas) will have to accept. other people would identify with a Side like that, they have their own ideals about being functional and serious, but Thomas doesn't, and they would have to stop pretending that he does. Logan can show up in specific moments, like Remus does, but not as part of Thomas' core. and he will be okay with it, eventually.