#well apparently

[magicalrocketships]

Doing a little digital spring cleaning tonight and I found the beginning of a Harry/Louis fic I swear I've never seen before in my life but I absolutely wrote, so it's definitely time to share. A shameless rip-off of the plot of Jilly Cooper's The Man Who Made Husbands Jealous, which is an entire novel about a hot dude being paid by women with cheating husbands to make them jealous and stop cheating. Except in this one, Louis's masterminding the whole thing. Probably. I don't actually remember writing it.

The Man Who Made Husbands Jealous (would have been Harry/Louis in the end, if I'd ever written more than... this).

"We're broke," Louis says flatly, dropping down onto the sofa next to Harry and showing him his bank statement.

"We're not," Harry says, putting down his iPad. He's been playing online bingo again, which occasionally brings in enough money to cover going to Sainsbury's and putting stuff in the cupboards. He glances at the bank statement. "Are we?"

"Broke," Louis says, and he puts his feet in Harry's lap. "We've got ten days to have enough money in my account before the rent goes out. Any ideas?"

"None," Harry says.

Time was, they could have tapped Harry's parents for a loan, but there had been a small misunderstanding and for now, that was off the table. It was no use trying to get money out of Louis's mum; she hadn't got it and Louis wouldn't ask if she did. He was utterly devoted to her and wouldn't take a penny. "What happened to that TV work that Ben was talking about?"

"Still happening, I think. Just not right now. Not in the next ten days."

"Do you remember when we didn't care about this stuff, and we just partied and spent what we wanted?"

"You're still like that," Louis pokes him in the thigh with his toes. "Since when has an overdraft stopped you going out?" He dropped a crumpled envelope in Harry's lap. "That came for you, by the way."

"This crumpled?" Harry asks mildly.

"It may have had a small fight with the letterbox," Louis says, since the return address says R. Maddox, and Louis has always hated Ruby, right from the moment they'd met and she'd made an immediate play for Harry, right under her husband's nose.

"Invitation to a party on Saturday," Harry says, tossing it towards Louis. "Do you want to come?"

"Pretty certain it won't say my name on that invite."

"It doesn't. I'll sweet-talk you in. There's probably going to be a free bar, her husband's loaded."

"Won't say no to that," Louis says, and that's that.

~*~

The flat Louis and Harry lived in was a cramped, tiny attic space in Kentish Town, only cheap enough for them to live in because the landlady's mum lived downstairs and bullied her daughter into not putting up the rent because Harry was so charming and would spend ages with her in the kitchen, drinking tea and flirting. Louis she had no time for, but that was mostly because the first time she'd met him, he'd been so drunk he couldn't see straight, and he'd fallen over her bin and vomited in the begonias.

It was also close enough to Primrose Hill that they could lie when asked where they lived, and frankly that was helpful when it came to explaining why they were worth knowing at parties. They had, at one point, been on the cusp of hosting these parties themselves. They'd failed to win X Factor a few years ago, and been promised a record contract anyway. They'd done the cycle of parties, the five of them that had had a band together back then, but had never truly broken past the outside perimeter. The others had faded out of London after a time, leaving Harry and Louis to continue sharing a flat and jumping from job to job.

When Harry got up on Sunday, naked underneath his dressing gown, Louis was sitting at the little table in the kitchen with his laptop.

"Have you been to bed?" Harry asks, putting the kettle on.

"For a bit," Louis says. "I've found us a way to make money."

"It's too early for money," Harry says, which is his usual approach. He'd grown up having it, so he's never tempered his lifestyle to reflect the fact that right now, they don't have it.

"Never," Louis says. "So I got talking to Ruby Maddox last night."

"You hate each other."

"We were drunk. She credits you with saving her marriage, you know."

"She slept with me while her husband was in Paris. Funny way of saving her marriage."

"Made him so jealous he stopped screwing his PR girl," Louis says. "How'd you fancy doing it again?"

"Sleeping with Ruby Maddox?" Harry looks perplexed. "Could do, I suppose."

"No," Louis says. "Her friend Georgina Meadows."

"Could I sleep with Georgina Meadows?"

"Actively not sleep with Georgina Meadows," Louis says. "Her husband's left her for his PA."

"Do I know Georgina Meadows?"

"Not yet. But you will."

"I need a cup of coffee," Harry says. "And then another one."

~*~

They take Louis's beaten-up old Golf to meet Georgina Meadows that afternoon. It barely scraped through its last MOT, so come the next one, unless money comes from somewhere, they'll be car-less again.

"Who is she?" Harry asks. "Why am I meeting her?"

"She's going to pay you to flirt with her to make her husband jealous," Louis explains. "And let me do the business side of things, you'll go in easy because she's crying or something, and she's loaded and we're broke.”

“All right,” Harry says. “Let’s do it.”

[willgrahamscock]

You've got the type of blog that makes me swing wildly between wanting to send asks talking to you like we're friends and send asks confessing my sins /aff

to be fair I welcome both of these types of interactions

come have a cup of coffee with me and confess to cock

[aangarchy]

Alright now this pissed me off

What do you MEAN you're going to remove one of the most important aspects of Sokka's character arc in the first season? What do you MEAN you're going to remove Sokka unlearning misogyny, accepting change and embracing his role as a fighter and protector of the Avatar in order to end the war? What do you MEAN???

[theshadowrealmitself]

I like to think that Vulcans who come to understand that Humans just can’t try to process emotions the same way as them, it’s just healthiest to let it out in harmless ways, decide that venting and stuff should be taken just as seriously as Vulcan’s meditation time, and will encourage the Humans around them to complain about what’s upsetting them

People who are used to aloof Vulcans who avoid Humans at all cost running into one comforting a Human

“-and then they said my cheesecake was subpar, and they didn’t even bring a dish!!!”

“The purpose of this event was that every participant brings a food item of sorts, correct?”

“Yeah!!”

“And they did not follow this rule while insulting dishes that were brought?”

“Mostly just my dish but yeah >:(“

“How illogical”

“That’s what I’m saying!!!”

[bet-on-me-13]

The weirdly competent Doctor

So! The Watchtower's Medical Bay is a hub of constant Activity. With the number of Heroes who work under the Justice League, there are always injuries, health check-Ups, and illnesses that need healing.

But with the amount of Variant Biologies that those Heroes have, it's always a guessing game as to how to help them best. Some Metahumans react positively to penicillin, but others react like it's their Kryptonite. Some Aliens have anatomy similar to Humans, others are so different you can't tell the Stomach from the Bladder.

So when they hired a New Doctor for the Medical Bay, they had to run him through an entire Course on Variant Biologies and how best to treat specific Heroes. It was long and difficult to remember fully, but it was necessary for him to know.

But then the new Doctor started correcting Them.

"Actually, Martian's react better to the Syrup of Eucalyptus Plants better than Penicillin, since Eucalyptus is very similar to a medicinal plant from Mars which they used in many of their antibiotics."

"I don't think just pumping double doses of sedative is the best way to calm down a Speedster, that could have adverse effects on their body. Perhaps try Psychic Intervention? Their minds move a Mile a Second, but if you can calm them down their bodies will follow suit."

"Of course you use Micro-Doses of Kryptonite to operate on Superman! What else would you do?! I don't know, maybe ask JLD to enchant your Equipment to make use of Kryptonian suseptiblity to Magic? The Kryptonite is just gonna give him Cancer!"

Of course the Doctors didn't take kindly to being rudely corrected by a newbie, and Fired him on his first day.

Then a few days later their usual Treatments don't work, and they decide to give those strategies the Quack Doctor gave them out of desperation.

And Lo and Behold, they work! Martian Manhunter is fully healed and feels much better than the previous times he has needed surgery. Apparently they used a different Antibiotic that worked better with his Biology. Which was incredible, how had they figured it out?

Another Doctor you say? One who was experienced on Martian Biology and Medicinal History? He would very much like to meet with the man!

...

What do you mean you fired him for talking back?!

[uncanny-tranny]

Not to keep body positivity posting, but this unironically cured all my body ails and I need everyone to see this, too

[Video Description: A Tik Tok posted originally by user trevor_wagner_

The video is captioned: My current body type is that you can tell I workout but you can also tell I don't say no when someone offers me a cookie

Trevor is sitting in a truck, and he lifts the sleeve of his shirt to flex his bicep. He then lifts his shirt by the hem to show off his stomach, which, where he then pats it. The song Half on a Stack by Three 6 Mafia is playing in the background. /End of Video Description]

[wszczebrzyszynie]

z obsesji

[jasminebythebay]

thank you for your help 💎

--

By popular demand, this piece is now available as a print! https://jasminebythebay.etsy.com/listing/1707594190

[beautysnake]

quick warmup since I dont have time for a full blown art fight attack today! Little cat things :>

[imperialweave]

Went to a paint your own pottery place for my bday and it came out so good!!

Please feel free to give this to your tavs or companions.

[queerdraws]

it's zoro's birthday!! happy birthday big guy, may you say many more insane things to your enemies in the coming years

[isthatacalzone]

thinking about how Edwin just. doesn't actually swear throughout the entire show except for in hell when he screams "THAT IS SO FUCKING STUPID IT'S UNBELIEVABLE" at Charles for coming to hell to save him

[arlathen]

ᴀʟᴡᴀʏs ɢʀᴀsᴘɪɴɢ ʙᴇʏᴏɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇᴀᴄʜ, ᴅᴇsᴘɪᴛᴇ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴛᴀᴜɢʜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ.

[remxedmoon]

triplets! cute!!! they must have some difference between them… but i can’t see any…

greyscale versions under the cut!

[puppyeared]

horrible truth bomb dropped on my head 20 min ago

[lilybug-02]

Bug Research!

Bug Fact: Roly-Polies (Pill bugs) are not insects! They are terrestrial crustaceans that still breathe through gills!

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