#well here's a piece that felt like it took me two hundred years to do even though it was only actually a couple of hours

[pinkflower2003]

I REMEMBER IT ALL TOO WELL PT.2

Fernando Alonso x ex!reader

Part 1

Series Masterlist

a/n: i’ve never really written a series before so i’m not sure how this is but this is kind of a filler chapter! Let me know what you think and what you want to happen in different chapters!🍓

The days following their encounter at the Monaco Grand Prix were a whirlwind for Fernando. He couldn't stop thinking about Georgia and AJ. The realisation that he might have two children he never knew existed consumed his thoughts. Determined to follow through on his promise, he reached out to Y/N to arrange meeting them once more.

Y/N agreed, albeit reluctantly, and Fernando invited them for lunch at a quiet café in the outskirts of Monaco before they went home to England. She wanted a place where they could talk without the prying eyes of the media or fans.

Fernando arrived early, nervously glancing at his watch as he waited. He had rehearsed what he wanted to say a hundred times, but now that the moment was almost here, his mind was a jumble of emotions.

When Y/N arrived with Georgia and AJ, he stood up, his heart pounding. The twins greeted him politely, their expressions a mix of curiosity and wariness. Y/N gave him a reassuring smile, though he could see the tension in her eyes.

"Hi, Fernando," she said softly, guiding the twins to sit down. "Thanks for inviting us."

"Of course," he replied, his voice steady despite his nerves. "Thank you coming. I thought it would be nice to catch up again after all these years." He said, wanting it to sound like he and Y/N were just old friends.

They ordered their food, and small talk filled the initial moments, mostly AJ excitedly recounting his favorite parts of the race and Georgia teasing him about his enthusiasm. Fernando listened intently, savoring every detail, every laugh, every smile. These were moments he had missed, moments he wanted to make up for.

As the conversation naturally lulled, Fernando took a deep breath. "So, AJ, Georgia, tell me more about yourselves. What do you like to do?"

AJ grinned. "I play rugby, mostly. It's my passion. Mum says I have too much energy, so I need to channel it somehow so she put me into a rugby club at a young age."

Georgia rolled her eyes, her expression playfully sarcastic. "Yeah, AJ's like a human tornado. I, on the other hand, prefer non sporty things. I love reading, i've always prefered to just watch sport instead of being involved."

Fernando smiled, the warmth in his chest growing.

Y/N watched the interaction carefully, ready to intervene if necessary. But as the conversation flowed, she saw the genuine interest and affection in Fernando's eyes, and her heart softened a little.

"I can't believe mum has known you all these years and not told us," AJ said, looking at Fernando with admiration. "I've watched you race since I was young, you must love it to be doing it for so long"

"Yeah," Fernando replied, smiling, his spanish accent coming through heavy. "I've been racing for a long time. It's not just a job for me; it's a passion, just like rugby is for you."

The lunch continued, and Fernando felt a growing connection with the twins. They were bright, talented, and full of life. He found himself laughing at their stories and feeling a sense of pride he hadn't expected. It was like a piece of his heart he never knew was missing had suddenly been found.

Fernando walked alongside Y/N, a comfortable silence between them as they walked out the cafe, the twin in front, bickering amongst themselves. Finally, he spoke. "Thank you for this, Y/N. It means more to me than I can express."

"I know," she replied softly. "I still have my reservations, Fernando. But I can see you care about them. Just… be patient. They need time to adjust to all of this before even they know anything about their father. I know they're old enough to make their own decision, but I still want to keep them safe."

"I will," he promised, glancing at the twins ahead of them. "I just want to be a part of their lives, in whatever way I can."

---

Over the next few weeks, Fernando made an effort to spend more time with Georgia and AJ. He wanted to support AJ's rugby passion without drawing too much attention to himself. So, he reached out to a few of his fellow drivers to join him at one of AJ's matches. He figured their presence might help deflect some of the focus from him and make the event more enjoyable for AJ.

On the day of the match, Fernando arrived with a few familiar faces: Lewis Hamilton, Charles Leclerc, and Lando Norris. The drivers were curious and excited, and Fernando briefed them on the situation beforehand.

As they approached the field, the drivers couldn't help but be amazed by AJ's physique. At 6'0" with a muscular build, AJ stood out on the field, showcasing his strength and agility.

"Wow," Lewis said, eyes wide. "Are you sure that's your kid, Fernando? He's a beast!"

Fernando chuckled nervously. "He might be, but let's keep that between us for now. The kids don't know who I really am to them. They think I'm just a family friend."

Charles nodded, glancing at AJ with admiration. "I can't believe how strong he is. Look at him go!"

AJ's performance on the field was impressive, and the drivers, Y/N and Georgia cheered him on from the sidelines. Fernando felt a surge of pride every time AJ made a play, and he couldn't help but compare the boy's determination and competitive spirit to his own.

After the match, Fernando joined Y/N and Georgia to congratulate AJ. The other drivers followed, eager to meet the young athlete.

"You were amazing out there," Fernando said, clapping AJ on the back.

AJ beamed. "Thanks! It was a tough game."

"Anytime, mate" Fernando replied, smiling warmly.

Lewis, Charles, and Lando introduced themselves to AJ and Georgia, who were both starstruck. Georgia's sarcastic wit quickly came into play as she interacted with the drivers.

"So, Fernando, you brought the whole crew?" Georgia teased, her eyes twinkling. "Trying to make a good impression or something?"

Fernando laughed. "Just wanted to show AJ some support. Plus, these guys wanted to see what all the fuss was about."

AJ grinned, looking at the drivers with awe. "I can't believe you all came to my match. This is insane!"

As the drivers chatted with the twins, they couldn't help but notice the resemblance between Fernando and the kids. Georgia's sharp features and AJ's intense gaze mirrored Fernando's own.

"There's definitely a family resemblance," Lando whispered to Lewis, who nodded in agreement.

Fernando overheard and quickly addressed them. "Remember, they think I'm just a family friend. Let's keep it that way for now."

The drivers nodded, respecting Fernando's wishes. As the evening went on, they continued to bond with AJ and Georgia, sharing stories and laughing together. Fernando felt a sense of contentment he hadn't felt in years. He was building connections with his children, even if they didn't know the full truth yet.

After the rugby match, Y/N suggested they all grab a bite to eat at a nearby restaurant. The drivers agreed, eager to continue the fun. The group settled into a cozy booth, ordering a variety of dishes to share.

"So, AJ," Lewis began, "what got you into rugby?"

AJ's eyes lit up. "I've always loved sports, and rugby just clicked for me. It's physical, strategic, and you get to work as a team. Plus, it's a great way to burn off energy."

Charles laughed. "I can see that. You were all over the field today. It's impressive."

Georgia chimed in, her tone playful. "Yeah, AJ needs rugby to tire him out. Otherwise, he'd be bouncing off the walls at home. He's like a dog on zoomies, that's why mum sent him to a rugby club as a kid."

The table erupted in laughter, and AJ rolled his eyes, though he couldn't hide his grin. "Very funny, Georgia."

"So, Georgia," Lando asked, "what about you? Any interests or hobbies?"

Georgia shrugged. "I'm a bit of a bookworm. I love reading, and I'm really into school. I know it sounds boring, but I enjoy it."

"That's not boring at all," Fernando said, his voice warm. "Being smart and loving to learn is amazing."

Georgia smiled, a hint of a blush on her cheeks. "Thanks, 'Nando."

As the evening progressed, the group grew more comfortable with each other. Fernando felt a growing sense of pride as he watched Georgia and AJ interact with the drivers. The twins were confident, intelligent, and had a natural charm that drew people in.

At one point, Y/N excused herself to take a phone call, leaving Fernando alone with the twins and the drivers. He took the opportunity to learn more about them.

"So, do you two have any plans for the summer?" Fernando asked.

"Yeah, we're going on a family trip," AJ replied. "Mum's taking us to Italy. We've never been, so we're really excited."

"That sounds wonderful," Fernando said, smiling. "Italy is beautiful. You'll love it."

Georgia leaned in, her eyes twinkling with mischief. "Maybe we'll bump into you at a race, Fernando. You seem to be everywhere."

Fernando chuckled. "You never know. The world of racing is pretty small."

As Y/N returned to the table, she noticed the camaraderie that had developed between Fernando, the twins, and the drivers. Her heart ached with a mixture of happiness and uncertainty. She wanted to protect her children, but she could see how much they enjoyed Fernando's company.

After dinner, the group said their goodbyes, and the drivers promised to keep in touch. As Fernando walked Y/N and the twins to their car, he felt a sense of longing.

"Thank you for tonight," Y/N said softly. "It meant a lot to AJ and Georgia."

"Thank you for letting me be a part of it," Fernando replied. "

I hope we can do this again."

Y/N nodded. "We'll see. Just take it one step at a time."

As they drove away, Fernando stood in the parking lot, watching the taillights fade into the distance. He knew the road ahead would be challenging, but he was determined to build a relationship with Georgia and AJ. He wanted to be there for them, to make up for the lost time.

The next few weeks were a blur of activities and meetings. Fernando continued to spend time with the twins, attending more of AJ's rugby matches and even joining Georgia for a book club meeting. He was careful to respect Y/N's boundaries, always checking in with her before making plans.

---

One evening, after a particularly exciting rugby match, Fernando invited Y/N and the twins over to his place for dinner. He wanted to cook for them, to show them a different side of himself.

As they arrived, Fernando greeted them at the door with a warm smile. "Welcome. I'm glad you could make it."

"Thanks for having us," Y/N replied, stepping inside. "It smells amazing in here."

Fernando led them to the dining room, where a beautifully set table awaited. "I hope you like Italian food. I made some of my favorites. I thought I would make it to get you ready for your holiday."

Georgia and AJ's eyes lit up as they saw the spread. "This looks incredible!" AJ exclaimed.

As they sat down to eat, Fernando felt a sense of contentment. The evening was filled with laughter and stories, the twins growing more comfortable with each passing moment. Fernando cherished every second, knowing these were the memories he had longed for.

Y/N excused herself, going to the bathroom and whilst the conversation still flowed, the twins took the opportunity to ask Fernando the question they had wanted to most.

"Fernando," Georgia started, her eyes serious, "why have you been spending so much time with us lately? One minute we were coming to our first F1 race and the next mum all of a sudden knows you and you're with us a lot, coming to our weekly rugby matches and doing things with us not even our other family would want to do."

Fernando felt a pang of anxiety but kept his composure. "I just enjoy spending time with you all. It's been a long time since I saw your mama, she has always been very special to me, so it's been nice to catch up."

AJ exchanged a glance with Georgia before adding, "We thought maybe you were dating Mum. She hasn't dated anyone since we were born."

Georgia nodded, her expression thoughtful. "Yeah, she always says she never really got over our dad."

Fernando's heart tightened. He wanted to tell them the truth, but he knew it wasn't the right time, nor would he do it without Y/N's permission. Instead, he decided to gently probe. "Your dad isn't around, I presmue? Do you know about him?"

AJ's face clouded with sadness. "Not much. Mum doesn't talk about him a lot. She always says she still loves him, but he didn't love her back."

"She never says anything bad about him," Georgia added, her voice soft. "But it's like there's this big empty space where he's supposed to be."

Fernando's chest ached with regret. He longed to tell them everything, but he didn't want to disrupt their lives more than necessary. "I'm sure he had his reasons, whatever they were. Would you ever want to meet him if you had the chance?"

The twins shrugged, though their expressions remained somber. Fernando wished he could alleviate their pain, but he knew he needed to take things slowly. "Maybe, I guess it would depend on circumstance. I think it would just be strange, after so long." Fernando just nodded at Georgia's answer.

As Y/N returned, she sensed the somber mood. "Everything okay here?" she asked, her eyes scanning the trio.

Fernando forced a smile. "Just talking."

Y/N seemed to understand. "Why don't we all go for a walk? Fresh air might do us good."

As they finished their meal, Y/N suggested a walk along the beach nearby. The twins eagerly agreed, and soon they were strolling along the shoreline, the sea breeze ruffling their hair.

As the sun began to set, casting a golden glow over the water, Georgia and AJ ran ahead, laughing and teasing each other. Fernando watched them, a sense of contentment settling over him. For the first time in years, he felt hopeful about the future.

taglist (as requested): @mxdi0 @kravitzwhore

Part 3

[chiropteracupola]

and now, we deal with the consequences!

[keep your seatbelts buckled, for @dxppercxdxver and I continue to collaborate]

[acourtofwhatthefuck]

Practice On Me — Part Thirteen — Azriel x Reader

Summary: Backstreet’s back, ALRIGHT! Or rather, the Bat Boys™️ sort their issues out. Tathaln’s ball is officially announced. Azriel gives Kaeda a piece of his mind. Fin has no business being the sexy dad he is. Roza’s worried about reader.

Word count: 6.3k.

Warnings: None for this part.

All is silent, save for the rhythmic tick-tick-ticking of the clock. Cassian has always hated that clock. Finds it fucking annoying.

But it fills the vacant hole that exists in the absence of conversation. That hole is open and gaping between Cassian and Azriel. It’s not a table that sits between them — it’s a dangerous, yawning chasm.

Az stares at Cass, and Cass feels uncomfortable. He’s seen that cold gaze be levelled on people hundreds of times, thousands. To be on the receiving end feels a little like staring death in the face. He actually kind of wishes that Kaeda hadn’t been sent off to the dorms to sleep off her drunken state, because at least then he wouldn’t be the only one here, being subjected to…this.

So, he stands up, so abruptly that his chair almost topples over, and asks, “Want me to make you some tea?” The question feels stupid the second it leaves his lips.

Azriel’s eyes track him, drink in every uneasy shift and twitch. It’s not that Cass is afraid of Az — though anybody with half a brain cell would be — just that he’s not good in these situations. Situations where he has to be serious and…and listen.

“Cassian.” The shadowsinger’s cold voice stops him before he can move. “When, in our years of friendship, have you ever once made me tea?”

Cass peers over a broad shoulder and shrugs half-heartedly. “First time for everything…”

“Sit.”

The word brooks no room for argument. Cassian does, indeed, sit.

It’s then that Azriel heaves a deep sigh, his entire body taut as a bowstring, and says, “I’m sorry.”

Cass blinks. “What?”

“I’m sorry—for what I did in the mead hall. I…had no right.”

“…But Y/N and I…”

“It’s not for me to dictate whether the two of you should or shouldn’t lie together. My…jealousy…is my problem, and mine alone.”

This is hard, Cassian realises — for Az to say this. For him to face it. And Cass can relate to that. Not everyone can be as silver-tongued as Rhysand. The Mother knows, Cass himself isn’t.

But he also isn’t an idiot. Some people may believe him to be, and that’s their mistake, because being proved wrong is usually the last thing they remember before waking up to a healer standing over them. He’s aware enough of his surroundings to know that something was brewing between Azriel and Y/N for years before Cass took her to bed…or kitchen counter, or…whatever.

“I need to be better,” Cassian offers, “at thinking before I act. Thinking about who I might hurt with my decisions. I’m working on it.”

Az studies his friend, and he feels no anger. If anything, it’s guilt that claws at the shadowsinger. He gave poor Cass a pretty good hiding over something that was, essentially, none of his business. And it could have all been different if Az simply wasn’t a coward, afraid of his feelings.

Something he needs to work on.

And perhaps he’s doing that as, rather than burying the topic, he asks, “What…what actually happened? How did you end up sleeping together? I mean…do you have feelings—”

“No.” Cassian cuts him off, blinking. “Gods, no. I love Y/N, you know that. But not romantically. I just…I felt so damn useless that night, Az. If you’d seen the way Y/N was…the self-loathing. I didn’t know how to help.”

Immediately, Azriel’s brow pinches. “Self-loathing?”

“Because of what her father did to her. When we were flying to Fenlaros, and she was the only one being carried in…”

Azriel slumps back in his chair, feeling like a godsdamned idiot.

He blinks forward and wonders what the fuck the point is in being born a shadowsinger when he obviously can’t read situations very well. Within seconds, it’s clicking into place.

“And then you started that fight with that Fenlarion male,” Cass continued. “and Kaeda just declared that it was her you were fighting over…and everyone has a limit, you know? I think that night was just all too much for Y/N. And she was so upset, so downtrodden…talking about how she hated herself. And I’m not good with words like Rhys is, and I’m not as observant as you are, but I am good at physical touch. Physical comfort. And it seemed like the only thing I could offer in that moment to take that bleakness away from her. But I should have thought about how you would feel—”

“I’m glad you were there for her.” Azriel blurts, realising, with every word, how much he means them. “I wasn’t. I failed her that night.”

“I really didn’t know that the two of you had been exploring things. If I did, I wouldn’t have done it. I mean…that fight you started wasn’t over Kaeda at all, was it?”

Az’s eyes shutter. And it goes against every natural instinct of his to strip himself bare and just…be honest. Every steel wall he’s ever built up is screeching in its effort to stand strong and not be caved in. And those walls were necessary in a life of darkness and hate…but that life is long gone.

What good do those walls do him in an environment where he has love, has people who genuinely care for him? As much as he wants to run and hide from his feelings as he always has…he thinks that the key to happiness may be on the other side of those walls. That a new bravery lays in letting some light filter through the cracks and warm a guarded heart.

His voice is quiet, laced with a self-preserving fear, as he admits, “No. It was not.”

Before Cassian can offer an encouraging response, the front door is swinging open, and Rhysand is kicking snow from his boots and trudging in. Azriel tenses like a threatened animal — but there is no threat here. Only safety, only love. He forces his shoulders to relax.

The violet-eyed male takes in the sight before him. Goes still as he looks between his two friends. “Please tell me this is a positive conversation.”

Cassian inclines his head. “Work in progress. Why don’t you make some tea?”

“Fuck you, make your own tea—”

“Make me some tea—”

“Kiss my ass, dickhole—”

“I’m in love with Y/N.” Azriel blurts.

It promptly shuts the other two males up.

They turn away from their bickering to look at the shadowsinger. He looks…shocked, by his own confession.

“I’m in love with her,” he breathes.

Cass and Rhys share a glance, and then Rhys is slowly approaching the table, carefully taking a seat like he doesn’t want to startle Azriel out of the moment.

“We know, Az.” Rhys tells him gently. “I mean…I think we always suspected…”

“I started that fight in Fenlaros because I was jealous of that damn male having his hands all over her. Saying the things he was saying. It was nothing to do with Kaeda.”

“You should really tell her — Y/N, I mean. Tell her how you feel.”

Azriel’s eyes trace a mark in the table as he admits, “Kind of already have. When she came to speak to me earlier today.”

Another glance is shared between Cassian and Rhys. And both are equally surprised — figure they would have heard something about it. Unless…unless it hadn’t gone down well.

And now that Rhys thinks about it, Y/N had been tense whilst he’d flown her back to Velaris. Taut in his arms and barely uttering a few words. Perhaps this was why.

“Did she…not take it well?” Rhys hedges. He wants to be delicate, not go blasting in at full-force. So rarely do they get to see such a vulnerable side to Az.

Azriel shakes his head once. “It’s not that, it’s…” He clears his throat. “It’s more complicated than that.”

“How?” Cass pushes, and Rhys shoots him a warning glance.

But Azriel doesn’t balk from it, doesn’t slink back in his seat. Instead, he lifts his head, and he levels his friends with a desperate look.

“There’s more that I haven’t told you.” He says.

✧: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

A short while later, Az thinks that maybe talking through his feelings is a good thing. Just saying the words has a little bit of weight easing from his chest, his shoulders.

But Cass and Rhys aren’t saying anything at all. Cass and Rhys are staring at him like he has two damn heads.

And then Cassian sits up, barking, “Tathaln Baralas wants what?”

“Exactly what I told you.” Azriel shakes his head. “He wants me to move to Fenlaros and work alongside him. Has some sort of backing from the High Lord, though I’m not sure how much. In a nutshell, Kaeda’s interest in me has always been driven by her father.”

“I knew that little wasp was up to something. You know she tried to kiss me tonight?”

Az shrugs. Really could not give a fuck. “I figured something had happened from the look on your face.”

“I never liked her. Nor her father—”

“Her father,” Rhys cuts in, “walks a very fine line in presuming to exceed in his role as a Camp Lord. His ego and title are going to his head a little, it would seem, if he believes he has the authority to scheme such ideas.”

“It’s a terrible idea.” Cass says. Neither of the other two noticed him get up, but he’s returning to his seat, speaking around a mouthful of food. “All Illyrians in one big camp? They’ll kill each other.”

Rhys is inclined to agree. But he turns a neutral — maybe gentle — expression on Az and asks him, “Do you want to go to Fenlaros?”

It would kill him if Az said yes. Would kill Cass, too. These recent days of being torn apart by tension has been bad enough. Being in different camps and not seeing each other is an almost unbearable thought.

But they would find a way to live with it, if Az decided he wanted to go. They’d find a way to be okay with it.

Such thick silence fills the room that the thudding of all three of their hearts is audible.

But then Azriel replies quietly, “No.”

Neither Rhys nor Cassian bother to hide their relief.

“I told Kaeda I would think about it.” Azriel goes on. “And I told Y/N that I’d promised Kaeda that. But I don’t think I’ve ever really intended to think about it — or needed to. I think…I think I was just using it to bide my time. To create space for myself and…avoid everything else.”

“By everything else,” Cassian chomps into a loaf of bread, “do you mean facing your feelings for Y/N?”

Azriel can’t deny it. He nods. “It’s not an easy thing to face…to be vulnerable. Hiding behind this Fenlaros situation has just been easier. Cowardly, yes, but…easier.”

“You can’t keep pushing her away, though, Az.” Rhys says. “You can’t let her think that you might be leaving if you have no intention of doing so.”

The shadowsinger’s eyes flutter shut, thick, dark lashes grazing his cheekbones. “Do you think I’ve fucked it beyond repair?”

“No.” Cassian offers. “But you will, if you don’t start handling this the right way. Tell Kaeda and Tathaln to fuck off. Tell Y/N you’re in love with her and want to see her naked—”

“Watch it.” Azriel warns quietly, but Cass continues, unperturbed.

“Just start letting more people in. And I’ll stop letting so many people in, because it gets me into trouble. I think…I think we all need to grow up a little. Do better.”

Rhysand’s brow pinches. “What do you mean, we all do? I’ve done nothing other than put my own pleasure aside to advise you idiots. What could I possibly need to do better?”

Cassian shrugs. “That haircut, for one. It’s annoying.”

“And when was the last time your hair saw a comb, Cassian?”

“When was the last time you were generous and made tea for your good, long-suffering friend?”

“So this is about the tea.”

“Of course it’s about the tea, jackass. Zakai clearly isn’t with you for your observational skills…”

Azriel sits back, allowing their bickering to become background noise. There’s a warmth to the sight, the sound, that makes him realise he never again wants a repeat of this situation — of being apart from his friends for days, tension thick between them.

He loves Rhys and Cassian. Loves them dearly.

Another reason why he could never, ever turn his back on this place.

And he finds himself actually being…grateful…that Cass was there for Y/N that night. That she didn’t have to suffer her self-loathing alone.

There’s still a lot to get through, of course. Daunting emotions and truths to face head-on. But as he watches the two loveable idiots in front of him take verbal swipes at each other, it’s the first time in a while that he wonders if things might actually be okay.

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The news is announced the next day, when Lord Devlon gathers a rather colourful bunch of his soldiers in the mead hall and stands at the front, silencing them all with a single shout. Rhys, Cassian and Azriel stand against the far back wall, their arms folded over their chests.

Gods, they hope it’s not another training exercise. Not so soon. Az has things he wants to resolve before he saunters off and possibly gets himself killed.

But Devlon reads the roll of parchment in his hands, a frown contorting his features. He looks up, his eyes very deliberately finding Rhysand as he announces to the room, “A message from the High Lord.”

And every other gaze is then swivelling to turn on Rhys, too. There’s something accusatory about it, like they’re assuming he’s privy to whatever it is their asses have been dragged out of bed to hear.

He isn’t. He wants to be in bed, too.

“Looks like you pricks better get your dancing shoes ready.” Devlon raises his eyebrows. “The High Lord is calling for a ball. Legions from all camps invited.”

This — this is exciting news for the brutish males who could fill the mead hall with their egos alone. Not because they have a particular affinity for dancing, but because amongst themselves, they’re already murmuring about which particular camps they dislike for some reason or other, and what they plan to do about it. So many bloodthirsty streaks are painted in those males’ eyes, stamping out the tiredness that lay there only moments before.

Nothing pricks an Illyrian male’s ears up quite like the prospect of a fight.

“The legions from each camp have been carefully selected, and you lucky fuckers will be representing Windhaven.” The Camp Lord continues, disdain dripping from his voice. He wants his men out there training in the cold, not prancing around a dance floor. “Plus-ones are allowed, also, so it might be time to splash out on a pretty gown for whoever is warming your bed these days. The ball is to be held on Starfall, at a neutral venue of the High Lord’s choosing, and I expect you all to make Windhaven — and me — look good. Any questions?”

“Do we actually have to dance?” One male asks, while another one pipes up with, “Will those pricks from Camp Steelshore be there?”

Rhys shuts out the litany of battling voices as he turns a concerned look on Az and Cass. Their expressions mirror his own. Something about this feels…off.

So while he looks like he’s merely lounging against the wall, hands in his pockets, he sends his inner claws spearing straight for Devlon’s mind. He doesn’t give away what he’s doing, not even slightly, as he roots around in the Camp Lord’s thoughts and grabs for his glimpse of the letter. Rhys scans it, drops the thought, and he’s out of Devlon’s mind and straightening himself up before the male can so much as flinch.

“Let’s go.” He tells his friends, and not Devlon nor the males around them seem to care as Azriel and Cassian follow him, the formidable trio traipsing out into the thawing snow, regardless of whether the meeting is over or not.

They’re halfway back to the house, safely out of earshot, when Cassian finally barks, “A ball? What the fuck?”

“At the request of Tathaln Baralas.” Rhys reveals. “That’s what the letter said. He took the idea to my father, and the asshole is humouring him. This has all got to be part of Tathaln’s plan.”

Cassian scowls and spits his disdain at the ground. “Someone needs to drive a poison arrow through that prick’s heart already. I don’t like this one bit.”

“It’s my father’s intentions I’m worried about.” Rhys shakes his head. “Tathaln only has the power that my father gives him. One word from him and this idea could be snuffed out and never mentioned again. And I expected that to be the case. Arrogant as fuck he may be, but my father isn’t stupid. He’ll know what a terrible idea this is, and I would have predicted that he’d laugh in Tathaln’s face for mentioning it. I didn’t think he’d actually entertain it…which means—”

“There’s something in it for him.” Azriel finishes.

Rhysand nods. “Every single move and choice my father makes is, ultimately, for his own gain. He would never agree to anything if he weren’t getting something out of it himself. Whatever Tathaln has proposed to him…my father will be using it for his own gain.”

Cassian opens the door to the cottage and strides in, forgetting — as always — to kick the snow from his boots. “What, though?” He asks. “What could Tathaln have that your father could want?”

Rhys shrugs and waves a hand, magic promptly mopping up the wet, melting trail left in Cassian’s wake. “That, I don’t know.”

“So what do we do?” Az watches him closely, trying to read the thoughts on the male’s face. His shadows reach out to him, too. “Are you going to talk to your father? Make him see how ridiculous this idea is?”

“No,” Rhys shakes his head. “There would be no point. I could lay a whole host of truths out to my father, and he’d go against them on ego alone. He must want something badly enough for him to be throwing money into it. This ball won’t be cheap.”

“And it won’t be a ball, either.” Cassian cocks an eyebrow. Roots through the kitchen cupboards for food. “Blood will be spilled. And you can’t dance on blood. I’ve tried. Too slippy.”

Rhys chooses to ignore that little scrap of information. Mostly because he doesn’t doubt it for a second. “I don’t want us to pre-empt anything.” He says. “If I go straight to my father with concerns about any of this, it could blow up in our faces, instead. For the time being, I think we should just…go along with it. Watch it play out, and see what happens. My father is unpredictable. Even I can’t tell you what goes on in his head.”

“I can speak with Kaeda.” Az clears his throat. “See if she’ll tell me anything.”

“You have fun with that.” Cassian mumbles, biting into something. “I’d sooner chop my balls off and nail them to the front door.”

“Such a way with words. It’s no wonder, really, that females fall at your feet.”

Cass shoots him a wicked grin. And this…this is nice. What they’ve both missed. This is normal.

“I’ll keep an eye and ear out for anything.” Rhys drags them back to the subject at hand. “But my father’s good at not letting anyone know things until he wants them to know them. And he’s clearly serious about this.”

Cassian swallows. Takes another bite. “And until then? Until we know what he’s even serious about?”

Violet eyes sparkle with mischief, and one side of Rhysand’s lips tips up. “Until then, boys,” he says, “you’d better practice your dancing.”

✧: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

Azriel really hopes she’s not there, but sure enough, when he enters his room at the dorms, Kaeda is sitting up in his bed.

It gives him a little bit of satisfaction to see her look…less than perfect, for once. Her hair is knotted, and even the vibrancy of the red shade seems a little dulled. Her skin is sallow, her eyes bleary. He wonders if she’s as miserable as she currently looks.

She beholds him with a strangely coy look, like she’s waiting for him to rip into her. But if she really knew the shadowsinger, she’d know that that is not his style. He does not shout. He rarely fights physically. His danger lies in his quiet voice and icy stare.

Kaeda’s tired eyes fall to the blanket pooled around her waist, and she murmurs, “You’re angry with me.” Her throat bobs with a swallow. “I understand. But I appreciate you putting me to sleep in here when I was in a vulnerable state.”

“I would have done it for anyone.” Az presses his back against the wall, folding his arms. “Don’t let it go to your head.”

The female merely bows her head. Doesn’t bother to argue.

“I have a question.” Azriel then says. “I’d like an answer.”

“I know that Cassian has probably told you about last night, and all I can say is I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have kissed him. I was drunk and upset and I—”

“I don’t care about that.” He really doesn’t, and it shows on his face. “I want to know what your father is playing at by organising an Illyrian ball. I don’t believe for a second that the gesture is an innocent one.”

She glances down again, but Azriel doesn’t buy the coy act for one moment.

“Kaeda.” His voice is laced with warning. “Tell me.”

“It’s just…a ball. A ball to have all camps in one place, so he can get a good look at what each one has to offer. It’s nothing sinister.”

“So, a chance for him to scout more supporters for his cause.”

“He’s trying to make a change, Azriel. A good one—”

“He’s interfering with lives. Tearing families apart.”

“Good results require difficult choices.” Her voice hardens.

The shadowsinger bites out a cold, brusque laugh, turning away from her. “Mother above, he has you trained well.”

There’s movement behind him. Kaeda is kicking the sheets away and pushing to her feet. And she’s…seething.

“You would laugh in the face of somebody trying to make a positive change?” She snaps. “What reason have you to be so arrogant? At least my father is trying to make a difference. All you’re doing is clinging to a miserable life in a miserable place where you don’t even have a family or home of your own—”

“Except that I do.” Azriel rounds on her so quickly that his wing knocks a fragrance bottle off a shelf. “I may not have your riches, and that’s fine, because I have a group of people — a family I made — who love me enough to care whether or not I come home at night. Who want nothing less for me than happiness and contentedness, and not just to use me as a pawn in some convoluted plan that will do more harm than good. I have reason to be in Windhaven, whether it’s miserable or not. I have love here. So much of it. And there’s nothing — not a damn thing — that would make me turn my back on it.”

Something in his impassioned speech clearly hits a nerve with Kaeda. She goes still.

And she looks…small, despite being fairly tall. She looks…insignificant.

Her eyes fill with tears. One spills over and rolls down her cheek as she whispers, “Please, Azriel.”

Azriel says nothing. Stares at her.

“Please.” She takes a step closer. “I’m not above begging. I…” Her voice cracks. “I need this. I need you to say yes—”

“Your father,” he interrupts quietly, “is playing a very dangerous game. And he’s using you to do it.”

“You don’t understand. I…if I can’t give him what he wants, I’m finished. I’ll have no home to go to, nobody on my side.”

“You already have nobody on your side. You’re his daughter and he’s dangling your livelihood over your head and ready to snatch it away if he doesn’t get what he wants. You’re already finished.”

“Please.” She says again. Tears are streaming, now, and she tries fruitlessly to wipe them away. “Please, just…if this is about Y/N—”

“Do not,” he grits out, “bring her into this.”

“She’s already in this. I know that you want her and not me…that you always have…and that’s fine. Bring her to Fenlaros with you, if you must. I’m sure my father could be persuaded on that. But just…please—”

“You’re not listening, Kaeda. This isn’t just about my family. It’s about all the other families that would be separated, ripped apart by your father’s scheming. He’s power hungry. This is just the beginning of a whole host of self-serving plans that will bring him glory — do not doubt that for a second. People like him are never satisfied, and he needs to be stopped. Not encouraged.”

“You’re wrong.” Her voice is so weak, Az isn’t convinced she believes her own words. “He just wants a better future for Illyria—”

“No.” Az levels her with a pointed look. “He wants a better future for himself. I will not play a part in that, and neither will my loved ones.”

“Azriel, please—”

“I will attend your father’s ball, just as Lord Devlon has ordered me to do.” He breezes to the door, not caring that this is his room he’s leaving her behind in. He stops, palm poised on the handle. “But as for delivering a male straight into your father’s den? You better start trying that seduction on somebody else. Because there is nothing that would make me follow you into that camp.”

He leaves without a glance back. And while it sits uncomfortably inside him that he made a female cry…he can’t help feeling like he’s finally doing the right thing.

About time, too.

✧: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

This — this is the last thing you ever would have expected of coming to Velaris.

The tonic you’d needed was an extended amount of girl time with Roza. And yet here you are…in the High Lord’s arms.

“This is useless.” You murmur, aware of every single place your body brushes against his. One of his hands is a firm weight on the small of your back, the other clasping yours. “I’m not a natural dancer. Fuck, I’ve never even been to a dance.”

Fin’s mouth tips up at the corners. “There’s that filthy mouth.” His hand lets go of yours, opting to move up to the cut of your jaw, where he allows his thumb to rest on your lower lip. “You,” the pad of it swipes slowly over your mouth, “are going to be exquisite.”

You square your shoulders. Cock a challenging eyebrow. “Is that genuine encouragement, High Lord? Or an order?”

A deep chuckle. Slowly — reluctantly —he lets his hand drop. “Both.”

Flirting with him like this, playing the part of the High Lord’s pet, is a necessary evil. You’re just so surprisingly good at it that you can’t discern whether it’s an affront to him, or to Roza. Or both.

But you can’t deny that you’ve been flattered by his undivided attention this past week. And perhaps he’s been flattered by yours, too.

Mother bless Roza for her undying support. The best you can do for her, right now, is to keep her in the loop. She merely tells you to be careful.

But a week — a week of cosying up to Fin, of breaking through his exterior and appealing yourself to him. You humour him with these dance lessons, with the preposterously expensive shopping trips and dinners, the late night fireside conversations. Anything, everything, to get him to tell you what truth lies behind the excited glint in his eyes whenever he speaks of the ball. To tell you what it is he’s planning.

Perhaps you’re not appealing enough. You are no more aware than anyone else. And that’s really fucking frustrating.

At least your hard work has kept you from thinking about Azriel every five minutes.

Your breath still heaving from your dance efforts, you make your way over to the table of refreshments by the huge, arcing windows that overlook the city. The High Lord’s palace, you have to admit, is a place you might miss once you’re back in Windhaven. You’ve never been one for luxury, never had more than a few things to your name — but the views are what makes you feel like the richest person in all of Prythian. These are not the cold, barren views of your camp, but a place of such vibrancy, it sometimes makes you want to cry. It’s like the setting of a storybook, laid out right before you.

From behind, slow, graceful footsteps sweep across the wooden floor. Fin comes to a stop so closely behind you that his body heat encases you.

Fingertips make contact with your skin, the back of your neck. The sleeveless tunic you wore for your practice now feels like nothing more than a paper towel.

“You have such beautiful skin.” Fin says roughly, and you tense. So far, this week, he’s kept a respectful distance away. Hasn’t put you in any awkward positions.

You pivot under his touch, pressing your back up against the table enough that his hand drops. It’s not entirely for show as you smile apologetically and tell him, “Sorry — scars.”

Such genuine, slicing rage fills his face. The intensity of it almost knocks you breathless.

“I will kill him.” He says the words like a lover’s promise. “With my bare hands, I will kill him for taking your wings.”

He had the power to stop the practice before you were even born. He is very old — over nine-hundred-years — and very powerful. What he says, goes.

And yet…he means it. You can see it. And perhaps you have seen so much unkindness, such brutality, that little scraps of ferocity, of passion, in your defence, make you a blinded fool.

But a part of him — however small — actually cares about you. Enough to mark your abuser for death.

But your father’s blood will soak your hands, and yours only.

You smile up at him, wickedly, cunningly, prettily. “No, you won’t.” You reply. “Because I will do it first.”

And the fury in his stare simmers immediately to a different sort of heat. Your words are a flirtation to him — a cut of raw meat dangled above a hungry, waiting animal. They make him feel something.

“Such a murderous little thing.” His soft laugh caresses your skin. He sounds pleased — impressed. “I like that. I like it a lot.”

“I would hope so. I am to be your special guest at the ball, after all.” A small voice in your head wants to coax him; tell me what you’re planning, tell me what to expect.

But, as always, he steers the conversation away, a vague, mysterious smile on his face. “Do you like it here in Velaris, my murderess?”

“I do, very much so.”

“I can’t help pondering how much you would thrive here. You were made for so much more than Windhaven. Illyria, even.”

A soft, coy smile — one that comes from deep within that part of you that wants the praise, the compliments — that needs them. “Many would disagree with you.”

“Show them to me, and I will twist their minds until they see in you what I do.”

“And what is it you see in me?” A disingenuous little liar. A good actress. A traitor.

Fin leans down, and for one startling, heart-stopping, stomach-lurching moment, you think his mouth might meet yours.

But his lips brush over your cheek in a tender, barely-there caress. He presses a kiss to the skin before retracting. Straightening himself out. The way he slides his hands into his pockets with casual arrogance reminds you so much of Rhys that you miss your friend instantaneously.

“I see beauty that is unappreciated, and intelligence that is underestimated.” Fin says. “And I see a female that I wouldn’t mind having at my side.” His eyes trace you from head to toe. “I wouldn’t mind it at all.”

No response sits on your tongue. You think you might be too surprised by the genuine praise. The fact that the High Lord actually feels some level of affection towards you.

Maybe you’re not so bad at these games.

He turns without waiting for your response, and only when he’s at the door does he make eye contact with you over his shoulder.

“Keep practicing the dancing, my murderess.” He says. “We’ll make a fine pair at that ball.”

✧: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

If Roza weren’t so worried, she might laugh at the three expressions of outrage that meet her when she strolls into the cottage.

Rhysand jumps up immediately and demands, “Did you fly here? You’re supposed to be resting.”

Roza merely rolls her eyes and shuts the door behind her. “Don’t get your undergarments in a bunch, Rhysand. I’m pregnant — not on my death bed. The babe is fine.”

Her son does not look convinced. Neither do Azriel or Cassian. As if they’re, like, experts on pregnancy, or something.

“What are you doing here, mother?” Rhys stalks straight to the fire and stokes it. Then straight over to the kitchen to make a hot drink. “Is everything alright?”

“Yes. Mostly.” Roza pauses. “I hope.”

Azriel sits up at that. “Is Y/N alright?”

“She’s fine.” If playing games with the High Lord of the Night Court can be considered fine. Roza eases herself into a seat, and Cassian is promptly propping cushions behind her back. “I want to talk to you about the ball.”

Cass’s lips turn up into a half-smile. “We’ll be on our best behaviour, Roz. Promise.”

“You’d better be. Because I want all three of you looking out for Y/N at that ball, do you hear me?”

The command is a firm one, and yet the three males don’t straighten up at her matriarchal tone like they usually do. Instead, they share a puzzled glance, frowns pinching their features.

“It’s a ball for Illyrian soldiers and their guests of choice.” Rhys explains, carrying a steaming mug over to her. “None of us are bringing her along. Not to that.”

“You may not be.” Roza slides a protective hand over her bump. “But your father is.”

All three males go so preternaturally still, it’s almost frightening.

Rhys bites out, quietly, “What?”

“Your father is taking Y/N to the ball as his special guest. He’s bought her a gown, taught her to dance — he’s serious about this.”

“He can’t.” The shadowsinger’s face is like rolling thunder. “He cannot take her there. All those males—”

“That’s precisely why I’m not attending. He needs someone in my place, and he’s taking Y/N.”

“He can choose someone else.” Azriel’s clipped tone, his panic, is not at all personal to Roza. Usually, he would never speak to her in such a way, but—

But this is Y/N they’re talking about. Y/N in the High Lord’s hands, at a ball with so many Illyrian males, too many Illyrian males.

“Watch your tone, Azriel.” Rhys warns, but Roza is holding up a hand. Because she gets it — the panic.

“I’ve tried telling him to take somebody, anybody, else.” She says. “He’s insistent — absolutely adamant that he wants Y/N.”

“But why?” Cassian frowns.

“I don’t know. I don’t know if his kindness to her is genuine or not.” She shakes her head, absentmindedly stroking her bump. “All I know is that he’s taking Y/N to that ball, and I’m not going to be there. You know, Rhysand, that there is no changing your father’s mind once it’s set. I need the three of you to look out for her.”

Because Y/N is just as much a daughter to Roza as the little girl growing in her belly. They know that.

Rhys inclines his head, reaching out to place a hand over Roza’s. “We will, mother.” He promises. “Whatever game he’s playing…we’ll look after Y/N.”

Roza’s eyes dart to Azriel, to Cassian. “Do you promise?”

“We promise.” Cassian, unfazed as always, grins. “You just focus on the little one, Roz.”

Azriel’s face is grave, but he nods once. “We won’t let her out of our sight.”

Y/N is in good hands with them, Roza knows. She may even be in good hands with Fin, depending on what his true intentions are. Perhaps being at the High Lord’s side is the safest place she can be. It’s an unknown.

But one thing Azriel does know, as he wishes and wishes for this damn ball to just be over already, is that he’s wracked with guilt.

He can’t help feeling like it’s his fault — that his actions, his behaviour, chased Y/N right into a viper’s den.

That he’ll stop at nothing to get her out of it.

pom tags: @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @sirenpearldust @queercodedcharacter @azriels-shadowsinger @ruler-of-hades @demi03 @magicaldragonlady @abrielletargaryen @ralsieq @v3lv3tf0x @achase2002 @feyretopia @hayrunnwr @don’t-feed-the-hipsters @brekkershadowsinger @piceous21 @bloodicka @acourtofinkandpapyrus @riri-is-agirlie @siriusement @4valyries @socmono @azriels-mate123 @acourtofbatboydreams @katherinearcheron @nesemi @lupinswolfsbanes @dreaming-unafraid @dxnniiix @cyrygher @liddyr03 @lmllsl @nightless @teenageeggscissorslawyer @brighterthanlonelythoughts @blitz-fall @maybefoxysouls @mschanand1erbong @juiceboxreads @bangtanbecks @florencemtrash @hyemishii @obixix @thenovarose @meshellexplosionmurder @angzlxna @lissy31xoxo-blog @supernatural99 @positivewitch @art3-m1ss @milfhunter-pdx @bbuckysbeardd @coralseacourt @towhateverend87 @sspookz @bird-on-the-wire33 @morrie-rose @megwan @catscanteleport @sevikas-whore @thickthighs-sadeyes @hihelloitsbooktimeppl

[thegainingdesk]

Borrowed

“Fuck!” I barked as hot coffee spilled down my front. This always seemed to happen when I wore a nice shirt, always when I had to meet clients, always on a fucking Tuesday. God I hated Tuesdays.

Fifteen minutes of frantic dabbing with wet paper towels later I sat slumped in my chair. Not only had I not managed to shift the coffee stain, but now I'd also made my shirt wet enough that my thick body hair was plainly visible through it.

“Maybe someone has a jumper?” Owen asked.

Sandra shook her head sadly. “We asked around,” she said. “The weather's been so lovely, not sure the last time anyone brought a jumper in. There's a couple in lost and found but…” She trailed off and lifted up two jumpers - one lurid pink with three kittens covered in glitter, the other a red Christmas jumper implying Santa was about to do unspeakable things to a reindeer.

“Not really the thing for a client meeting,” Owen said, making a small sucking noise through his teeth.

“Someone else is going to have to do it,” I said. “It's in ten minutes, there's no way my shirt will be dry in time.”

“I always keep a spare shirt or two in the stationery cupboard,” Graham said, appearing round the corner eating a donut. “It'll be a bit big for you though!” he added, slapping the firm ball gut that took up his torso.

I bit my lip. On one hand, I'd look absolutely ridiculous, my lanky frame swallowed up by a shirt intended for a man surely a hundred pounds or more heavier than me. On the other hand, I'd look more presentable than I currently did. And besides, it would be kind of hot to have real, tangible evidence of just how much bigger Graham was than me - okay, so forty-five year old obese dads aren't exactly everyone's fantasies, I can admit that, but for me, Graham was my dream man.

“Thanks Graham,” I said. “You’re a lifesaver.”

A minute later I was stood in our stationery cupboard holding up a piece of fabric I could use as a light blanket. The tag said 2XL and I thought about how Stewart filled his shirts - gut straining gently at the seams, the hem riding up by the end of most days to reveal a wedge of hairy fat. There were some trousers as well, neatly folded beneath the shirt. I held the pair up to my waist and boggled at how much wider they were. I imagined filling up clothes so big and felt myself grow hard.

I peeled off my own wet, stained, size small shirt and hung it on the door handle to dry a little. I slipped my arms in Graham's shirt and buttoned up the front. The shirt swallowed me. The hem hung down below my crotch, the shoulder seam lined up somewhere along my upper arm, so that the cuff hung down past my thumb, the whole thing billowed around me. I pinched the fabric and held it out in front of me - it seemed like there was a foot of space left in every direction.

My cock throbbed. I checked the door was locked, then checked the time. I had a few minutes, and Sandra was already on delaying duty. I bunched the shirt up, unbuttoned my fly and pulled my aching cock out. I stroked rapidly, keen to finish in a timely fashion. I tried to imagine myself filling the shirt. How much bigger would I be? Would I be shaped like Graham, with a firm gut, or would I be softer, flabbier, wider? My left hand raked over my trim stomach and my breath hitched as I moved it away, out to where I'd held the shirt just a moment ago. I bit my lip to stop myself yelling out as I shot cum across the floor of the cupboard, and as it dribbled over my fist.

Hit by post-wank clarity, I immediately felt like an idiot. How did I think I was going to clean this up? I frantically grabbed my wet shirt and did my best to wipe up the thick cum on my right hand and cock, struggling a bit to get it out of my pubes and stopping it getting on my trousers or Graham’s shirt. Then I knelt down and wiped up the mess on the floor.

A knock on the door. “Just coming now!” I choked.

“The clients are here,” came Graham's voice through the door. “That shirt alright?”

I looked down at myself. I looked fucking ridiculous, like a child wearing his dad's suit for a play. “Yeah Graham, cheers. It's perfect.”

I wadded up my coffee and cum covered shirt and threw it into a corner that I hoped no-one would look in over the day. I tucked the excess fabric into the waistband and rolled up the sleeves, hoping the overall effect was “loose and casual” rather than “four sizes too big”.

-

I panted softly as I squelched my way into the office. When I woke up, the weather was blissful - bright sunshine, a little warm maybe, but with a light breeze to make it bearable, the sky clear apart from a couple of distant picturesque fluffy clouds completing the picture. Of course, once I was halfway to work, the heavens abruptly opened, necessitating me to run from my tube stop through torrential rain to my office.

My body wasn't exactly built for running these days. That day with Graham's shirt had flicked a switch somewhere deep in my brain, and since then my appetite and waistline had expanded in rapid conjunction. Now my soaking shirt clung to a round, soft gut, plump tits and wide love handles, and my damp trousers made my wide, plush thighs and fat pad uncomfortable.

I was met with noises of sympathy from my much more weather-prepared co-workers as I dripped across the floor, but couldn't fail to notice the whispers and pointing as soon as I passed. My weight gain wasn't exactly fresh office gossip at this point, but I'm sure it being highlighted by clinging wet clothes didn't exactly help matters. I sighed as I sat at my desk, the cold clothes against my skin making me shiver.

A shadow fell over me and I saw Graham stood meekly above me. “I've got some spare clothes,” he said quietly, looking around to see if anyone was listening. “I'm not sure if you, you know, if they'll fit or anything, but you're welcome to them if you like.”

I saw his eyes flick to my swollen gut and my heart jumped as I realised that Graham - Graham! The office fat guy! - wasn't sure who was bigger out of the two of us. I shuffled my legs slightly to adjust my hardening cock, but knew that my overhang would largely keep my arousal hidden.

“Oh, uh, yeah, thanks Graham, that would be great,” I thanked him. “I've actually borrowed your shirt before, you know,” I told him. “You wanting to keep it a secret all of a sudden?”

Graham grew more flustered. “It's not that,” he said. “I'm happy for people to borrow it whenever, you know. I figure it's best if there's a spare shirt around and at least if it fits the fattest- I mean, that is, if it fits me it… well.” He cleared his throat and looked around again. He lowered his voice further “I wasn't sure if you'd be happy to, you know, have people know you were borrowing my clothes. You know since…” He gestured feebly towards me and I felt my heart pump harder.

“That's fine Graham,” I said. “Thank you again.”

“If you ever want to talk to someone,” he said, not moving yet. “I get it, you know, the uh,” he shifted his feet nervously, “weight thing. I was probably about your age when I started to put on a bit, back when Vanessa had the twins and well… anyway. I just wanted to say that I know how it feels, and if you ever wanted to talk to someone who understands…”

“Thanks Graham,” I said. “For the shirt and the offer.” I stood up so that we were almost belly to belly. “I best go get changed.” Graham grinned and gave a small wave as he walked away.

I looked at the shirt on the hanger in front of me. Was I really the same size as Graham now? I'd certainly fantasized about the idea often enough, and the shirt in front of me looked… well, it looked normal. I thought back to that day a couple of years before when I was shocked at the size of Graham's clothes; now they looked the exact same as all the others I had hanging in my wardrobe at home.

I pulled off my damp clothes and put on the shirt. It fit perfectly - the collar wasn't too tight, the shoulder seams hit the right place, it tucked perfectly into my waistline. A little snug, perhaps, around my gut, but then most clothes did these days. The buttons were definitely straining more than they did around Graham's belly, weren't they? He'd have surely bought the next size up by now if this was how his shirts fit everyday.

I sucked in as I bent down to pick up the trousers, keen not to stress the buttons anymore and stood back up with a loud grunt. Advanced acrobatics like “bending over” and “standing back up” were getting a little strenuous these days. I looked in the waistband and froze. It was a 42 inch waist. I'd gotten rid of my last pair of 42s months ago, and in the meantime my 44s were starting to pinch painfully when I was particularly bloated. I looked back at my soaked trousers and imagined drying in them. These would have to do - maybe just for the morning until my clothes dried.

I had to suck in as I struggled to button the trousers, and immediately felt the familiar vice grip of too small clothes as I let my gut hang out fully. The fabric confined my legs and hips, making my torso explode out of the top like bread dough, and I could imagine the angry red marks I'd see once I took them off. The legs felt like skinny-fit jeans, all the way down to my calves. Surely Graham couldn't wear these? I didn't think I'd be able to sit down all day.

“Those forty-twos aren't too big, are they?” Graham asked when I gingerly came out the stationery cupboard, feeling like an overstuffed sausage casing come to life. “I only really use them if I'm feeling a bit bloated,” he explained.

I shook my head and gave a strained smile. “They'll stay up with a belt,” I said. I saw Graham's eyes flick down to the full-to-bursting fabric with no belt in sight.

He gave a thin smile. “Well then,” he said. “Glad I could help. You know where they are if you ever need them again.”

I was back in my own trousers by lunch, after promising Graham to buy him a new pair since I'd ripped the seat on his.

-

I licked the sugar and jam off my fingers as I walked up to Graham.

“Hey man,” I said, before stifling a belch. “I don't suppose I could borrow that spare shirt you keep?” I gestured down at my shirt, where jam from my donuts sat next to grease from that morning's sausage roll on the shelf of my gut. “Breakfast got a bit messy this morning.”

Graham’s eyes widened a touch and I could see him perform a series of mental calculations. “I've lost a little weight since the last time you borrowed a shirt,” he said after a moment. “I'm down to just plain old extra large these days.”

“It looked like the same shirt when I got some staples the other day,” I told him. “Maybe you just forgot to swap it out.”

He smiled weakly. “Ah, yeah, that's right,” he conceded. “Must not have brought in one of my new ones yet.” His eyes flicked down to the farthest extent of my gut, where its swell strained the buttons of my 4XL. “So you umm, I mean that is, if you think, but well.” He desperately reached for a polite way to tell me I was too fat for even the clothes that were too big for him. He lowered his voice. “Weren't you saying a while ago you shop at one of those plus-size shops these days? I never really went to those, even when I was, well, before I lost some weight.”

I grinned and shrugged. “Worth giving it a go, right buddy?” I slapped the top of my belly. “Us big guys are used to squeezing into places.”

He grimaced at the suggestion our sizes were comparable and gestured towards the cupboard where he kept his spare shirts. “Help yourself,” he mumbled.

I unbuttoned my own shirt and dropped it in a heap on the floor. I picked up Graham's from its hanger and held it out in front of me - did I really used to fit in clothes this small? I grunted as I bent down to pick up the trousers and held that out in front of my waist too - god they were narrow. My own hips were a good half foot wider, even while holding them like this. I'd have liked to have tried them on too, but they were a non-starter, I knew. A shame that I couldn't go all the way with my little game, but oh well.

I put the shirt on, even the shoulders a little too narrow to slip my arms into comfortably, and slowly started buttoning, my fat fingers slow and clumsy. The neck was a complete no go, fat oozing over the collar when I attempted. The buttons over my tits were snug, but broadly doable. The top of my gut - starting to become a real problem. At the very diameter of my soft ball gut the two sides were inches apart. Determined to make a show of myself in front of the office before I left in a few weeks, I sucked in as far as I could and tugged on the shirt hard. After a few moments of struggling, huffing and puffing all the buttons were precariously lodged into their respective holes.

I let my gut out slowly, so as not to tear any seams or send the buttons scattering. Even at the largest I dare let my gut hang out, I was still sucking in a little.

Every inch of fabric was filled with me, inflated to its limit. I could almost hear the cloth creaking. The buttons had huge ovals of hairy, dimpled skin showing between them. The bottom of the shirt hung around my heavy love handles like bread loaves and several inches of my gut hung clearly out the bottom. The waistband of my trousers were hidden beneath cascading fat, and my soft arse hung out at the top.

I grinned as I walked out the cupboard. “Cheers for the shirt Graham,” I called across the office. Disgusted and embarrassed faces turned towards me as they took in the sight of my morbidly obese body forced and squeezed into clothes meant for the merely clinically obese. I began walking towards Graham as I spoke, giving everyone a good view. “I don't think it's really going to work,” I said as I gestured towards my body. “I swear we used to be the same size?” I shrugged. “Ah well, I can cope with a couple of stains for today.”

Graham blushed bright red as I approached him, the only person forced to engage with the spectacle unfolding in front of everyone. “Oh well,” he said, staring resolutely at his computer screen.

A flash of a thought began to nucleate into an idea. Did I dare? I think I did. I made a show of wrinkling my nose a little and then- “ACHOO” - a not quite believable fake sneeze as I let my gut expand to its fullest extent. Two buttons pinged off the and I heard a small rip to my side.

“Oh god!” I feigned humiliation. “I'm so sorry Graham, your shirt! I'll buy you a new one!”

Graham paled. “That's fine,” he insisted. “Didn't fit anymore anyway, destined for the charity shop.”

“No, no,” I replied. I stroked my hand around my gut, feeling the contrast between strained fabric and exposed skin at the fresh tear in the shirt's side. “It's my fault and this spare shirt’s helped me out no end of times.” I pretended to ponder for a moment. “I swear it used to fit…”

My cock was rock hard beneath my gut as I returned to the stationery cupboard to put my own shirt on.

[per-se-phone-e]

Hound in an alleyway | Damon Salvatore x reader

Warnings: non-con, Damon can't take rejection, p in v sex, oral (male recieving), anal sex, degradation, minors dni!!!

Summary: If you won't give your affections willingly, Damon decided he will have to take it by force.

THIS IS AN EXTREMELY DARK PIECE, PLEASE INTERACT AT YOUR OWN RISK!

Damon Salvatore was a sex god.

He could crack the whip and every girl would chorus, how high? He knew that. You knew that. Everyone did. Never in his one hundred and seventy something years of life had he needed to make an effort to pursue someone as he had done with you.

Most would just come running.

The first time you met him was in a cafeteria with Bonnie and Caroline. You were trying to console the sad blonde. He was the mysterious stranger sitting opposite you. Your eyes had met, only for a moment, before you pulled away.

The second time was in your school ground. You were practicing for the cheer team with your friends when a chevy pulled up into the school's driveway. You remember your eyes nearly falling out of your socket as Caroline got out of the car, placing a kiss on the older man's lips. He sent a wink your way, which you ignored. 

His hand on Caroline's leg in the Gilbert living room had bile rise up in your throat. That was when you found out from Bonnie that he didn't have a good relationship with his brother. And by the fourth time you met, Damon Salvatore had turned from a creep to a pyschopath. 

He had hurt Caroline. Your childhood best friend. Elena's memory might not work as well, but how could you forget? How could you accept any interest he threw your way?

You didn't want him, and it hurt. It hurt him. It made his blood boil. It clouded his senses. What had he done to get your rejection? Damon wanted you, so why couldn't he have you? 

And if you wouldn't willingly accept his affections, then Damon Salvatore would take it by force. 

It felt nothing more than a child's play to lure you into his trap. To follow you into the dark alleyway. You should've know better than to roam around by yourself past midnight. What if some man took advantage of you? Guess you weren't as smart as he thought you were.

He adored the way your eyes welled up when he backed you into a corner. Your lips pouting, spilling out pleas fruitlessly as he tore the clothes from your body. You trembled as he cupped your pussy, plunging a finger into your wet heat — then two, stretching you out.

It belonged to him. You belonged to him.

Your knees dug into the cold concrete as he forced you onto the ground. One hand working his belt open, the other had you by your hair. His thick cock jumped out as his jeans hit the ground, angry red tip dripping precum.

Damon pushed your head down on his cock until your nose was resting snug against the curly hairs at the bottom. He gave a deep groan, feeling the warm embrace of your mouth around his cold cock. You kept your mouth open for him like an obedient whore, letting him fuck your mouth like his personal pocket pussy.

He ignored the way you gaged and choked, bruising a spot at the back of your throat. Spit pooled from the corner of your mouth, dribbling down your chin. "Now be a good girl and suck daddy's balls," he directed you towards the base of his member.

You shook your head no, refusing to meet his eyes. You had never felt so humiliated in your life. Why weren't you trying to get away? Why couldn't you run?

Damon rolled his eyes. "Do you want me to go and drag your pretty little blonde bestfriend here? Or Maybe Elena? I'd love to kill two birds with one stone."

You obeyed at the threat, sucking on his balls, one by one. You teased the little slit between the two, desperate to get it over with. They were heavy against your chin, so full of cum and throbbing. You thrashed against him when you feel him jerk his cock hard and fast above your face. Slapping at his thighs, trying to push him off you. But all your efforts are futile; Thick ropes of cum land on your face, mixing with the tears.

"Good girl. Now turn around," he demanded and you did, pushing down the bile rising in your throat.

In no time, he had you onto your fours. A foot pressed to the back your head, keeping you down on the dirty ground as he entered you. "Shit sweetheart, look at that cunt sqeezing my cock so well," he hummed in approval, pushing out, then pushing in with force.

You could only manage to gasp with each thrust, your knees scraping against the concrete. He started to fuck you relentlessly, pounding your pussy red.

"This is what you wanted, didn't you? To be fucked like a dirty slut? You wanted my cock didn't you?" His hand lands on your ass hard, making you whimper.

"Yes," You yell, feeling his cock deep inside you. You were leaking down your quivering thighs, letting him split you in half like a rag doll. His balls pressed against your clit with each thrust, the sound of slick skin slapping echoing through the silent alleyway.

"Fucking slut," he gritted his teeth, hips pounding into yours at a supernatural speed. Your legs were numb from his assualt, spreading out until you're laying completely against the ground. You felt him soread your cheeks apart, watching his cock disappear and reappear from your abused hole. With a shudder, he spilled his cum inside you, sinking his teeth into your shoulder to contain himself.

When you felt him pull out, you thought it was over. But he wasn't done with you yet. He kept fucking you on the cold concrete — thanks to his vampiric stamina — shooting load after load of his seed into your womb. And when he was bored with your pussy, he'd play with your puckered hole. He would grab your face backwards by your hair and pound you like a bitch while you scream.

Now that he got you, it wouldn't be fair to let you leave so soon, wouldn't it?

[anakinskywalker97]

Trash Compactor

Anakin Skywalker X Padawan Reader

Summary: Your Anakin's Padawan and while stuck in a trash shoot the two of you get a little too close. Reader is legal but extremely innocent and inexperienced having been brought up in the Jedi Temple. Thinking about a super smutty part two.

Warnings: Fem Orgasm - not super detailed this is more fluff than smut.

Part Two - Smut

You knew he was having a rough time, through your force bond you had accidentally looked  into his thoughts  during force training. He was distracted so accidentally pushing into his mind was easy for you. 

You were lying in bed staring up at the ceiling of your compartment. Your whole body felt raw and painful. Anakin had been pushing you harder and harder in training. 

That’s where you found out his secret. 

He and Padmae had been in love. That piece of information alone was enough to keep you up for the past three nights, but they had also broken up because she had cheated. You kept trying to work out the timeline and the age difference but you couldn't wrap your mind around it. Or figure out how no one noticed. The tabloids followed her every move, not to mention Obi-Wan was very protective of Anakin. 

Anakin wasn’t happy that you had heard things in his mind, but that had also been the point of the task. He just didn’t think there was any way you would pick it up that fast. Normally force bonds like the one between the two of you took years to establish. 

Since then it’s been all sparing. An all forms free for all against him for hours. You and him had a tense relationship at the best of times. Anakin and you both felt the world and echother deeply. It lead to a lot of shared frustration. 

There was a whirring sound followed by a bunch of beeping. R2 had shot past your room at top speed by the sound of it. Your body jolted up thinking that maybe the ship was under attack. You grabbed your robe and ran out into the hallway. 

You chased after the little droid till you heard Anakin in your mind. 

What are you two doing?

I don’t know I thought we were under attack. 

Why would we be under attack? 

Why else would R2 be freaking out? 

I told you to go to bed. 

Well, I thought we were in danger 

The door in front of the droid opened and he moved into the darkness. Before you heard Anakins mental arguing you felt him crash into the back of you sending you both falling into the darkness. 

You used your training to cushion your blow. Not as well as Anakin, but still you were unscathed in the dim light of the… trash compactor. 

“R2 I swear I’m going to kill you for this,” Anakin grumbled at his beloved droid, who let out a cooing sound in response. “Fuck” He ran his hands through his hair giving you a chance to admire his untied robe and black boxers. It smelled and it was gross, but you would do it a hundred more times if it ment you could see him in only his boxers. 

You looked away quickly and began to try and find an escape latch. 

That’s when you felt the walls begin to move. 

“Master.” Your voice was shaky and you felt his large hand grip your shoulder. 

“Don’t freak out.” He said calmly, you felt his peace wash over you. A lot of the time he was wrapped up in anger, but whenever you got scared he would find enough calm inside him for the two of you. 

“There!” You pointed at a maintenance ladder with an emergency release lever. The only problem was it completely out of reach. 

“Here just climb up on me.” The walls were now dangerously close and you couldnt think of a better option. You nervously let him pick you up. He pressed your back against one of the walls and moved your leg over his shoulder. Your chest became tight and you fought for every shallow breath. His hands were all over you. Grabbing your ass and on your thigh. The walls got stuck against R2 and stopped. You were stuck up against him. 

“Use the force.” He said patiently. You took a breath and tried to stop feeling his hands on you. His fingers digging into your flesh, his face practically between your legs. You leveraged yourself up a bit and got your foot on his shoulder. 

______________

Anakin had been in a lot of tense situations. Why his exceptionally capable Padawan was suddenly force resistant when stuck in the bottom of a trash compactor was beyond him. She should be able to lift herself up. But he was doing all of the heavy lifting while her whole body shook with tremors. 

Sure it was gross, and it was a bit cold but not enough to make her shake this badly. He tried to reach out to her mind to calm her down further but it was shut down completely. 

When her foot slipped on the silky fabric of his robe it all made sense. His cheek was pressed into her hot center, and he could tell just how wet you were by the way your pj shorts slid along your hot flesh. 

You let out a hiss and he could feel you start to freak out. 

“It’s okay. It’s just me.” He tried to still his own emotions but found it incredibly difficult. “I’m not going to let you fall. I’ve got you.” His voice was more certain and he heard you take a breath. 

You tried to right yourself and push back up on one leg. His hands grabbed the flesh of your ass to steady you and he wanted to laugh at how much it impacted you. Touch-starved Padawan. 

Well, technically he was still a touch-starved Padawan too. He cleared his mind and tried to focus on the task at hand. You got yourself into a standing position on his shoulders. He grabbed your calves feeling like it probably wasn't helping. 

He looked up and saw your body elongated to it’s limits reaching for the bottom wrung of the ladder. 

“Use the force to steady you and jump.” 

“I can’t jump from on top of you!” You hissed. Your weight on his shoulders like this wasn't pleasant but it certainly wasn't unmanageable. 

“You’re light enough.” He said easily. “Clear your mind.” He felt it was a bit mean, he could feel the stress his presence was putting on your body. Your legs were barely able to keep you upright let alone balanced on his shoulders. 

He gave you a moment then he felt you bend your legs slightly. You pushed off and didn't come crashing down. Looking up you were dangling on the bottom wrung of the ladder.  He felt you pull yourself up and then heard the bottom bar break. 

He caught you, hating himself for liking the way you clung to him so tightly. 

He had you balanced on his hips with your weight against the wall. With most of the space gone, he was fine keeping you like that till he figured out a plan. You on the other hand were as tense as possible with your legs still shaking. He decided that was enough fun for one night and was about to put you down when you shifted your hips against his. The friction was electric and the sound that got caught in the back of your throat was officially pushing things too far. 

He should put you down or make you sit on top of R2. 

He made a vow to protect you and that meant from everything, even himself. 

With your arms wrapped tightly around his neck and your face pressed to his neck, you shifted again and he was questioning if it would be so bad just to let you continue. 

You weren't a child, only a few years younger than him. An adult. His hands gripped your ass a little tighter and he loved the way your body shuddered for him. 

I should put you down

Or? 

He pressed his hips against yours and rubbed his length against your soft flesh. The noise you made was all he needed. He would do anything to hear that sound. Feel the way your body embraced him. 

Your hips were uncoordinated and bucked against him, he found it endearing. There where clothes, not much, between you and yet Anakin had never felt so naked. Your mind was completley open to him, your pleasure running into the force bond around them like warm bath water. 

He controlled the pace and felt your body get more and more strung out. Your hand curled into the hair on the back of his head. He moaned and it was enough to push you over the edge. Your body clamped shut around him, your legs like a vice. He held you there his hard cock pressing against your very wet core. He wanted nothing more than to rip off your shorts, press himself deep - 

“Master.” Your voice was just above a whisper. “I don’t think that was a Jedi thing.” 

He pulled his face away to look at you. Your eyes were bright and chest was heaving. 

“You mean in 25 years, you never -” Ankin shrugged. 

“Felt that?” You asked confused. 

“Yeah.” He said already knowing the answer. No wonder you were so uptight. You shook your head and he moaned again. 

__________________________________________________

“If what I think is happening down there is happening. It better not be.” Obi-Wan’s voice called out as the doors to the compactor were pried open. You pulled Anakin’s hair again as you jumped in surprise then started to panic at his words. 

Calm down 

I can’t 

Yes you can, just follow my lead 

He tried to put you on the ground but your legs were like shaking jello. Your whole body was an uncoordinated mess. The fuck did he do to you. And why did you want him to do it again so badly?

He picked you back up the usual way he carried you when injured. You kept your face tucked against him wishing you could melt away into the floor. 

Obi-Wan hit the emergency button and the walls began to move apart and eventually, the floor rose up to the hallway. Anakin moved out into the light and you tried to keep yourself together. 

“Two Padawans against a trash compactor.” He looked angry with Anakin. “The war is hopeless” 

“R2 Ran into it, like there was something down there or - maybe he was running from something?” You tried to sound competent, hoping to take the attention off of your master. 

“I have no idea what that droid -” Anakin caught his eye and he sighed. Anakin hated it when Obi-Wan went off about the little droid. “The ship has been scanned. No one on board to scare him.” Obi-wan answered. 

“Well, if that’s the case I’ll look at him after I get you to the med bay.” He turned his attention back to Obi-Wan “Twisted ankle.” 

Obi-Wan gave Anakin a strange look and then he was out of view as Anakin turned and started to carry you down the hall. 

“I can still walk you know.” You said in your usual cool tone. 

“Right, so we can stay up all night limping to the med bay. Excellent suggestion, Padawan.” His voice was dripping with sarcasm. 

_________________________

Obi-Wan stood in the hallway watching his very flushed and awkward Padawans move down the hall. The force bond around them was unlike one he had ever seen before and now it was even more fierce. Their flushed faces and the fact that Anakin was walking in the opposite direction of the med bay made him feel obliged to chase after them to talk to them before they got themselves into real trouble. 

He felt a strange feeling on his shoulder, he turned to see Qui-Gon’s spirit next to him. 

“The force put them together. He needs her more than you understand. It will go above the Order.” 

Obi-Wan only nodded. 

“Yes, Master.” 

Qui-Gon laughed then faded out. Obi-Wan ran a hand through his hair wondering how his life got this complicated. 

_______________________

Anakin carried you to his room, taking you directly into the bathroom. He placed you in the tub and grabbed the edges of your robe. He slowly pulled it from your shoulders. He wanted to undress you and wash you down, but your wide eyes made him hesitate. How you were so impossibly pure and innocent blew his mind. 

You want me to go? 

You shook your head and he moved to get the rest of your clothes off. Every brush of his fingers made your breath catch. He knew what the responsible thing to do was. Even if it felt like it would kill him. He got undressed and got you both cleaned up. 

He watched you observe his naked form, and it felt nice to be admired. Scared from missions and this stupid war, none of it seemed to bother you. You looked at him with desire, but he could feel that steady bond between the two of you that made it so much more. He never felt this way with Padmae. He was a secret, something she was often ashamed of. Somewhere deep down inside he felt she only really enjoyed their time together because it was forbidden. 

Thinking of her made his mood shift, something he only noticed when he looked at you. Something flared in your eyes and you crossed your arms over your chest. He hated how every one of his emotions was available to you and how every time you internalized them as a reflection of yourself. 

You looked crumpled. He knew how that felt, especially when under the gaze of a lover.

He shut the shower off and grabbed a clean towel. He wrapped you up in it and picked you up. He threw you onto the bed and felt things between you lighten considerably as you let out a surprised laugh. He grabbed you a cotton sleep shirt from his closet and threw it at you. He put on a clean pair of boxers and followed you onto the bed. 

So I’m staying the night then? 

I’d like you to

The words were difficult. There was lust and attraction but something deeper inside Anakin. You were vulnerable, to vulnerable to be left in your room alone for the night. He wanted all of you, but the good in him just wanted to hold you. He tucked you into his side and felt both of you settle into a deep sense of comfort. 

So is that what sex is like? 

Anakin laughed and you smacked him playfully. He didn't particularly want to have this conversation, he wanted to sleep.

Have you really never had an orgasm? 

No? 

Why? 

I thought you had to you know - You shrugged your shoulders. 

I guess it’s not really taught as we are supposed to be free of attachment and all 

Did you love her? - Anakin didnt want to answer. It was too much, too personal. But then again there was no one else to tell, all his secrets were yours at the end of the day anyway. 

Yes, but not for a long time. 

I’m sorry - He could feel your love surround him, he felt unworthy of it. 

We should probably figure out whatever this is 

Maybe it’s just what’s meant to be - Anakin could feel your meaning. Everything about them was abnormal, how they came to be paired, how they could fight side by side, how they were interconnected to such a high degree. He knew it scared the counsel, but if it came down to you or them he knew who he would pick. 

I am your master though, it’s a position of trust and power. I - 

I’m glad you have that power and I trust you - you yawned and tucked yourself against him. You make me feel safe  

The urge to pin you down was overwhelming. He had never wanted anyone as much as he wanted you in this moment. He worked hard to keep you safe. He trained you hard, he took every opportunity to explain things to you. He had good intentions for this partnership, he wanted you to survive this war, and thrive as a Jedi. Feeling you in his arms now, all he wanted was to hold you and never let go. 

He kissed the top of your head. Fully relaxing into the feeling of being in another's company. 

[sage-green-matcha]

NO TIME TO DIE - JACK CHAMPION 🌬️

Grammy and Brits winner Y/n Y/l/n meets with Jack Champion for a night full of flirting and awards ;)

Content Includes: flirting, singing, awards show, idk you just being famous and successful 💅

A/n: gonna be gone for a day or two so here’s a longer oneshot for y’all!! <33

<3

<3

<3

“You ready?” You shook uncomfortably in your black dress, the material heavy as you dragged it around. “I’m scared, this is the fucking Oscar’s what if I trip over the dress?” You frowned, a blush brush now on your face. “You look great, you’re gonna do fine” You couldn’t shake off the feeling that you were gonna suck. You couldn’t believe that you were here. Sure you’d been to the Grammys and the Brits but the Oscars? Never in a million years did you imagine that you’d be here.

You were nominated for best original song and you also had a small role in handing out awards. That you weren’t nervous for, but performing in front of hundreds of amazing actors, that scared the shit out of you. You were one of the youngest nominees here, besides Jack Champion. Who you might’ve developed a small crush on during the event practice.

“I’m scared, I’m gonna vomit” You felt sick, nervous, all of the above. “Take a deep breath, warm up your voice. You’ll be fine, you always do amazing” You furrowed your eyebrows, singing a random melody as you waited at the side of the stage. The curtain was closed, it was only till the song started that you had to be faced with the hundreds of faces of popular actors, and a balcony full of fans.

“Okay, it’s go time” You looked at the orchestra as you walked across the stage, sitting down on a stool that they had for you. Your team followed, fixing your hair and applying more gloss to your lips to make sure you’d look amazing. Your stomach bubbled with anxiety, fixing your earpiece as someone handed you the mic.

“James Bond films are an indelible part of our cinematic history. Legendary Franchise has produced six Oscar-nominated songs including the title track from our film “No Time to Die” The curtain was drawn open, eyes luckily not on you. It was dark, a small smile coming from your pianists, giving you a sense of security.

“With this exquisite and haunting piece, our next performer has captured the feeling of this film in ways that could only be expressed by music. Please welcome the phenomenal artists and songwriter who co-wrote it, Y/n Y/L/n”

The crowd applauded and you took a deep breath, instructions being given to you through your earpiece. “Okay….and start the music” You felt a shiver run down your spine as the piano started up, blue and white lights surrounding the stage. You kept your eyes closed, taking a breath before you started to sing.

“I should’ve known, I’d leave alone. Just goes to show, that the blood you bleed is just the blood you owe”

You had been instructed to cut to the bridge, eyes still closed in fear of ruining your performance with anxiety.

“Was I stupid to love you? Was I reckless to help? Was it obvious to everybody else? That if fallen for a lie” you took a stable breath, the lyrics falling flawlessly from your lips.

“You were never on my side. Fool me once, fool me twice. Are you death or paradise? Now you’ll never see me cry, there’s just no time to die” the orchestra started behind you, opening your eyes to be met with the crowd.

“I let it burn, you’re no longer my concern”

Your voice was filled with emotion, melodically beautiful. The orchestra fit with your voice so well, lights and screen visuals tying the whole performance in.

“Faces from my past return, another lesson yet, to learn” You stood from the stool, giving yourself space to sing. The room had gone dark, all fear washing away from you. You felt the lyrics in you, this is exactly what you imagined it would look like when you were writing it.

Darkness, piano, lights, violin. It was cool to finally be in the place that inspired you. “That id fallen for a lie, you were never on my side” Your voice was airy, loud, and full of emotion. Your hand was placed on your chest as you continued to sing, your eyes trying to spot out faces in the crowd.

“Now you’ll never see me cry, there’s just no time to die” The music got louder, building up to climax. You brought the microphone higher up, your voice filling in the melody with the orchestra. “No time to die, mhm” You took the deepest breath, vocalizing along with your hand to your chest. Feeling the music in your heart.

You brought the mic to your lips, pulling it away as you hit a note. You cheered in your brain, you actually managed to pull it off. The musicians behind you got louder, your voice did too. After seconds of instruments filling your ears you got to the last line, giving your voice a break from the song.

“There’s just no time to die” You smiled at the audience, applauses filling your ears with cheers coming from all sides of the theater. You gave a thumbs up to your pianists, turning around to clap at the beautiful orchestra that performed along with you.

“We did it, oh my god we did it” you squealed as you exited the stage. You felt yourself fill with pride, trying your best not to get emotional. “Uhm I just performed at the Oscars? And I literally did so well?” You laughed, running over to your manager. “See? I told you, you did so well” You pouted your lips, noticing her wiping away her tears. “Don’t cry, come on this is supposed to be exciting”

You dragged the dress back to your green room, smiling at the other performers who were up next. “God, I’m shaking” you grinned. “I was shaking bro! I swear your voice was just like ugh, so fucking good” You smiled, taking the compliment.

You had a bit of free time before you had to preset awards, your manager taking you to the red carpet. “Hey! Y/n…uhm I really enjoyed your performance, you looked beautiful” Jack Champion, your heart paused as you looked up at him, the tall boy smiling at you. “Oh, thank you!” “Of course, you sound really good…like really good” he scratched the back of his neck, nodding.

“Congratulations on your nomination by the way, good luck” You met his eyes as the line moved forward, almost close to getting on the carpet. “Yea! Yea, thanks, I heard you were nominated too, but that performance just won like all the awards” You smiled at his awkwardness. “I don’t know, the other songs are just so amazing” you laughed.

“If you don’t win, people are gonna riot” you blushed, thanking him once again. “You’re all red Y/n, come on you’re next” You went through the carpet, showing off your custom designer-made dress. It was something you had been envisioning for months. Bunched up black silk with a corset bodice, lace gloves with a diamond necklace.

“So who are we here with today?” You stood in front of the camera with a smile. “I’m Y/n y/l/n, how are you?” “I’m doing so good! I mean I just watched your performance and I think this is the best I’ve ever been in my life” You laughed at the compliment, more blush filling your face.

You answered a couple more questions before getting more pictures taken, the photographers screaming your name. “Y/n! Get one with Jack!” You looked over at him and he smiled, walking over to hug your side. You felt your heart beating in your chest, his hand staying on your waist as you walked down the line.

“So sweet of you to walk me down the carpet” you teased. “Just trying to impress you” You smiled and he let go of your waist. “I’ll see you around” he waved before his team dragged him backstage. “Y/n..focus” your manager smiled. “I am focused!”

You walked around for the rest of the night, getting drinks and saying hello to the other nominees. You sat back in your assigned seat, drink in hand before smiling at your stylist. “You ate with this dress, I really can’t I’ve been getting compliments all night” You rested your head on her shoulder with a smile. “You know I try my best, but seriously it was all you. You do really look beautiful Y/n…and I think Jack thinks so too” She nudged you under the table, your focus now on jacks table. He was with his mom and manager, smiling over at you.

“He’s so cute I might die” you exaggerated. “He’s into you, girl I think you’ll be going home with a new man tonight!” You covered your smile, taking a drink of the non-alcoholic beverage.

A couple more awards passed and it was your turn to give them out. You were accompanied by Zoë Kravitz, one of your lifelong idols.

You got on stage, hugging her before the segment started. “I’m Zoë Kravitz” “And I'm Y/n Y/l/n, and we are honored to be announcing the award for best actor of the year!” Zoë read out the nominees, the red envelope in your hand waiting to be opened.

“And the Oscar goes to...” You opened the red envelope with a small mischievous smile. “Jack Champion” the camera cut to the smiley boy, hugging his mom before going up on stage. “This is the first Oscar and nomination for the amazing Jack champion” you added, Jack coming up the stairs with a smile. “Congratulations” You pulled him into a hug, his face red as you handed him the award.

“Well uhm, wow. I just wanted to say thank you. To the fans, to my family. This is something really huge!” He laughed, your heart happy for him. “Thank you to James Cameron, Dileep Rao, and Dr . Max Patel. Thank you to all my co-stars, you guys are all so, so amazing” he held up the award proudly, stepping off stage as you handed out the next three awards.

“Hey! Congratulations! I knew you could do it” You came up to his table during the intermission. “Thank you” he got up, hugging you with a smile. “You raised a good kid Mrs. Champion” Your manager came up behind you, complimenting and congratulating him and his mom.

“Yea, thanks, Good luck with your award, I’m sure you’re gonna win” you blushed. Thanking him again before you walked back to your table, cameras rolling once again.

You felt your heart beating faster, the camera on you for your reaction. “Next we have the award for best original song, and our nominees are..” you smiled up at the screen, your competitors on the large tv. You felt your heart race, you knew you’d be fine if you didn’t win. But yet again winning would be really fucking cool.

“And the Oscar goes to..” you swore you felt your heart stop for a second. The sound of the envelope opening making your heart race. Zoë laughed before reading out the name, “Y/n y/l/n” Your heart dropped, face covering your hands as your stylist and manager jumped to hug you.

You walked up the steps, carefully to not step on your dress. “Uhm…oh my god?” You couldn’t hide your smile, award in hand. “Okay uhm…well, I wanna say thank you! To my stylist, my manager. My amazing co-actors and team. I love you guys so much, I’d be a mess without you all. I also Wanna Thank my family who sadly couldn’t be here. But I wanna thank them for their support! Also thank you to Hans Zimmer, Stephan Lipson for helping me produce this amazing track, this award is for you! And lastly thank you to the recording academy for this beautiful opportunity” You smiled once again, waving the award before walking back to the table.

“What the fuck?” “I told you that you’d win!” They hugged you tightly, the award carefully placed on the table. It was so much more than just an award to you. So much time and effort went into the track, and the final product was so satisfying.

“I’m so tired, I might die” You plopped down on the couch of your green room, taking off your tall, black heels. “Ready for the after-party look?” She pulled it out from the rack, it was similar to the dress you had on, just less extravagant. It had the same beautiful bodice, bodice, with the same slit just more toned down. It was more of a lacy material, a shawl made of the same thin black fabric. “I’m wearing my sneakers with this I don’t care” you laughed.

You got changed into the dress, surprisingly the sneakers didn’t look too bad with it. “Looking beautiful as always, now let’s head out before we get stuck in traffic” As you exited the green room everyone was already leaving. You spotted Jack through the crowd, his tall figure standing out against everyone else.

“Hey! You going to the after party?” “I’m not sure yet! Are you?” You nodded, adjusting your shawl. “Yea okay, I’ll be there” you smiled at him. “where are you gonna put yours?” You asked, matching Oscars in hand. “I think I’m gonna build a thrown just for it” “Seriously?” You laughed. “Yea! I’ll put it up on a pedestal, it’ll look great” You just smiled as he took your hand, your friends following behind the two of you.

Photographers lined up along the exit of the theater. You got into your car before you waved at Jack. “I’ll see you later?” He nodded, letting go of your hand. You watched as your two managers exchanged something, yours getting into the car. “He’s got you so whipped you forgot to get his number. Here you go” She handed you the small slip of paper.

“You looked beautiful tonight, congratulations <3 Can’t wait to see you soon!!! Here’s my number - Yours, Jack :)”

[xetswan]

Youngest Shadow- Memories

Eight | Nine | Ten

“He’ll forgive you two.” Edward was at Bella’s side of the window, startling both of us. “Scoot over.” She listens, sliding over and I try to make as much room as possible. He takes over the wheel. “His face… I said the same words my mother used when she left him.” She slumped and slowly took my hand in hers. I stared out the window but still listened to them talk. “It was the only way he’d let you guys go.” Edward then floors it and it makes me wonder if this truck can even handle that. “Your father’s safe now Bella. The tracker is following us.” 

It feels as if I can breathe lighter but at the same time, I’m scared of what’s going to happen. Then a dark figure jumps onto the bed of Bella’s truck. Bella screams as I let out a tiny noise, gripping her. I think her scream scared me more than what jumped onto the truck. “It’s alright, it’s just Emmett. Alice is in the car behind us.” He informs us, I look back to see Emmett standing there, he gives me a smile, waving and I do the same. Well, I tried to.

Arriving at their house Edward, Emmett, and Alice rush us to get inside but we all came to a harsh stop when the door opened and it is revealed to be Laurent. “He came to warn us. About James,” Carlisle announces and they back down from their attacking posture. “I’ve grown tired of his games. But he’s got unparalleled senses. Absolutely lethal. I’ve never seen anything like him in three hundred years. And the woman, Victoria will back him. Don’t underestimate her.” Laurent is warning them, trying to tell them this won’t be a normal fight even if he’s cornered or one against all of them.

He then turns to Edward. “I’m truly sorry for what’s been unleashed here.”

He walks off disappearing into the woods. We’re now in a garage with the Volvo, a red BMW, a black Mercedes Sedan, and an SUV. Rosalie was grabbing everything, cell phones, extra batteries, maps, portable GPS units, change of clothes, cans of gasoline and so many other things. 

“I’ve had to fight our kind before. We’re hard to kill.” Jasper says while standing beside me. “But not impossible, We’ll tear him up,” Edward says as if to reassure us. “We'll rip him apart with our hands then burn the pieces.” Emmett joins in with blood lust and it almost made me want to laugh but of course, under the circumstance, I’ll look psychotic. “I don’t relish killing another creature. Even a sadistic one like James.” Carlisle deadpans. 

“If he doesn’t get to one of us first,” Rosalie says and I glance over to Bella who had a horrified expression. “This is insane. You can’t put yourselves in danger like this for me.” She tells all of them and I sort of sit there for a moment not understanding why she only said it for her like I’m not a part of it as well. “Too late.” Rosalie rolls her eyes. “And it’s not just for you. [Name]’s in this too.” She sticks up for me but I notice Edward shoot her a look. He grabs two sets of keys, throwing one at Carlisle.

“I’ll run Bella and [Name] south, while you lead the tracker away.” He says but his foster dad disagrees. “No, Edward. The tracker thinks you won’t leave Bella. He’ll follow you. His main focus was how you reacted to him sniffing out Bella.” Again this feels off, it really feels like they’re only worry is Bella and if that’s the case why am I a part of this. Then Alice steps up.

“I’ll go with them. Jasper and I will drive them south. I’ll keep her safe Edward.” 

Edward looks frustrated, Alice steps one closer. “Can you keep your thoughts to yourself?” Edward studies her, obviously torn. She nods and the two have an unspoken agreement. He surrenders the keys to her and then goes to Bella and Mine’s suitcase. 

“Esme, Rosalie put these on so the tracker will pick up their scent, mainly Bella’s.” I was slumped once again, I felt Jasper tense but not saying anything. “Why should I? What is Bella to me? [Name] I understand she’s been in the family for years but Bella’s just a danger you’ve inflicted on us.” Rosalie was man, not understanding this at all if that wasn’t obvious. “Rosalie, Bella is with Edward she’s a part of this family now. And we protect the family.” Carlisle was strong with his words and the blonde listens, resistently picking up the clothes. He then hits a button and the large metal doors open. 

Jasper and Alice lead me to the car, Edward and Bella have their own little moment together before we have to leave. I lean against the car. “You’re confused.” Jasper quietly says and I shrug. “I’m not understanding why I’m here if you guys are only really worried about Bella. The tracker doesn’t seem to want me.” I cross my arms, and they both stared at me. “What?” Alice raises an eyebrow. “James doesn’t want you dead. He wants to torture you.” Jasper informs me and my eyes widen, not expecting that. “He knows of your past lives he wants to hurt you enough to where you remember him.” He tells me and I think back to Esme and Carlisle’s conversation. “A near-death experience.” I think out loud, their eyes shoot up at me. “I uh I overheard Esme and Carlisle talking the night you invited me over to meet them. That’s what I was panicking about.” I sigh, they don’t say anything at first.

“I kind of came to comfort with it but I am scared nonetheless.” I laugh nervously, Alice was hard in thought as Jasper seemed saddened by what I said. “I think what really bothered me was you two wouldn’t warn me.” That was all I told them as I got into the car after I noticed Bella was coming towards the car. 

Jasper has been driving as Alice was in the passenger seat. Bella had just stopped crying, her eyes were red and puffy. “Mom, it’s me again. You must have let your phone die. Anyway, [Name] and I are not in Forks anymore but we’re okay. I’ll explain everything when you call.” She hangs up the phone and looks out the window right as we pass the Olympic Peninsula sign.

Now in a hotel room, I sit on Jasper’s lap as the three of us stare at the t.v. screen. They haven’t brought up our conversation from before the drive and honestly, I’m a little grateful. I’m not in much of a mood to talk about any of it. They bought a ton of food too and I don’t think they realize with our lives on the line there isn’t much of an appetite to be had. “I wish he’d call.” Bella suddenly says as she enters the room we’re in. “You two should eat.” Alice ignored her words, her hand has been laid on my knee. I shrug, leaning back onto Jasper. Bella flops down to see. “They could get hurt, it’s not worth it.” She insists and I hum in agreement.

“Yes, it is.” Jasper disagrees and Bella is shocked as he doesn’t really engage with her often due to his thirst troubles. “Edward’s changed since he found you. And none of us want to look into his eyes for the next hundred years if he loses you.” He turns back to the t.v. his hand now rubbing the outside of my thigh. “It’s worth it.” 

Then Alice goes blank, Jasper and I stand up immediately and he goes up to her. “What do you see?” He asks her and her face is full of deep worry. “The tracker, he just changed course.” She tells us and I glance over to see a pencil and a pad of paper. I grab it, handing it over to Jasper who gives it to Alice. “Where will it take him, Alice?”

“Mirrors, it’s a room full of mirrors.” She begins to draw at lightning speed, her eyes shut to help her remember perfectly. “How do the visions work? Edward said they weren’t always certain.” Bella questions, standing behind the two of them as I’m kind of off to the side. 

“She sees the course people are on, while they’re on it. If they change their minds the visions change.” Jasper explains and Bella looks over at the drawing. “So, the course James is on now will lead him to a ballet studio?” 

Alice snaps her head to look over at her. “You’ve been here?”

“No. I don’t know. We used to take ballet lessons as kids. The school had an arch like that.” She points to the room and now that I take a look I remember the room. “Was your school here, in Phoenix?” I nod but don’t speak up. “Yeah, around the corner from our house, but we haven’t been there in ten years.” Bella was confused about why he was going there. “Do you have any reason to go now?” He questions but it was mainly for her as he knows I would have no interest in going to a dance studio. 

“No. Hell no. I hated that place.” 

Alice and Jasper share a look right when a cell phone rings. Bella jumps but picks it up, I watch relief fall over her once she sees the caller's I.D. “Edward. Are you alright?” 

“I’m coming to get you. We lost the tracker. The woman is still in the area. Rosalie and Esme are protecting your father.” We could hear him as he spoke through the phone. “This is my fault. You warned me, I didn’t think. I just-: He cuts her off. “Bella we’re in too deep. We can’t change how we feel.”No, we can’t. When will you get here?” She was antsy to see him again. “In a couple hours. Then you and I will go somewhere. Together. The others will keep hunting. Bella, I swear to you I’ll do whatever it takes to make you safe again.” 

They hang up the phone and everything else moves quick as Alice and Jasper left us in the room to go check out.  Bella and I gather our things, then her phone rings again and I go over to her to look over her shoulder. It was mom. “Mom, I’m so glad you got my-” “Bella,  Where are you and your sister?” She was panicked and I hold onto my sister. “Calm down mom. Everything is fine, okay? I’ll explain every-” Then it sounds like the phone drops as we hear rustling in the background. “Mom? Are you there?” 

“Nice house you have here. Not the best on the black but comfortable.” A voice we did not want to hear, my eyes widened and I hear Bella shiver. “I was prepared to wait for you two. But then mom came home after she received a very worried phone call from your dad. It all worked out quite well.” He tells us and I squeeze my eyes shut and lean my head down. “I must say, Forks High School doesn’t protect its students' privacy very well. It was just too easy for Victoria to find your previous address.” James was mocking us. 

“Bella? [Name]?” 

“Leave our mother out of this,” I say. “You’re protective of her. That’s nice. You can still save her. But you’ll need to get away from the other two lovers. Can you two do that?” 

“I don’t think so.” Bella sighs. “If your mother's life depends on it?” And it looked like we didn’t have much of a choice here. “Where should we meet you?” 

“The old ballet school around the corner. And I’ll know if yo bring anyone. Poor mommy would pay the price for that mistake.”We then hear him sniff the air. “She smells like you, Bella. Delicious.” He taunts but she hands up the phone, both of us now freaking out.  

I watch her look around in the drawers searching for something then closes them, rushing to her purse and dumping everything that was in it out. Grabbing her pepper spray. “You have yours?” She asks and I lift mine up from my pocket, she gets all her stuff back into the purse, grabs it, and then we lock hands and run out of the room. Once we get to the lobby we scan for Jasper and Alice. I point outside where they’re under the Porte Cacher. We slip out the opposite door getting into a taxi, this older lady in the driver's seat. “8th and Palo Verde, please.” 

Instead of a near-death experience, it’s just death with my sister.

Not the way I had thought we’d go. 

At least we’re together in this life.

My next one will be alone, but I’ll find the love of my existence once again.

Getting to the dance school, we rush out of the taxi. It pulls away and it doesn’t feel like I’m about to be tortured just for living so many lives. It makes me reminisce about the feeling of me being here as a kid with Bella. She absolutely hated it, the kids making fun of her and me hitting a kid is what got us kicked out. I take a deep breath through my nose as Bella reaches for her spray as mine was already in my hand. I think back to Alice and Jasper knowing they probably just realized we are missing and my heart physically hurts having to go behind them. We walk closer and we hear our mom's voice. “Bella? Where are you and your sister?” We get through the doors that were already unlocked, the room full of mirrors that Alice had drawn out earlier. 

“Bella? [Name]?” We search for where her voice is coming from and we land upon the door to a closet. Bella throws the door open. It was a t.v. screen and a video is playing of Bella and me at the ages 7 and 6. Little Bella looks up as I was hugging her. It was in this exact closet too. “Don’t you want to dance, baby?” Little Bella shakes her head as little me pushes away gently but I was visibly angry. “Everyone makes fun of me.” Bella cried out. “I’ll fight them all, Mom! I will!” Little me says and Rene laughs, giving the camera to someone else, she kneels down to both of us. “[Name], no violence.” Then she looks right at Bella. “But you’re a wonderful dancer.” She tries to encourage her. “Mom, I suck.” Then laughter emits from behind us, and we spin locating James in the mirrors.

“That’s my favorite part. Stubborn children weren’t you both?” Bella steps closer to him with rage but then has a feeling of relief shower through both of us as we realized he never had our mom captive.”She’s not here.” Bella mutters.

“Sorry, but you two really made it too easy.” He sighs, disappointed then he gets walks to us, pointing with a camera at us. “So to make things more entertaining, I’m going to make a little film of our time together. Borrowed this from your house, hope you guys don’t mind.” He turns it on. “And… Action!” Bella flings her purse at him, gripping my arm to make a run for it. It was no use as he was right behind us. “Excellent! An escape attempt!” He was excited about this and it made me sick. “It’ll break Edwards's little heart.” He smells her hair, touching her hair. 

“Edward has nothing to do with this.” She angrily states as I slowly back up he ends up snatching my other wrist that wasn’t taken by Bella. “He will, His rage will ake for more interesting sport than his feeble attempt to protect you. And not only him but Alice and Jasper? They think I just want you to remember me, don’t they?” He laughs, having too much fun to notice Bella take out her pepper spray, spraying him. He only backs away for a brief moment but doesn’t let me go. She makes another run for it, he lifts me up over his shoulder and jumps right in front of her. I struggle against him, kicking my legs. He throws me into one of the main mirrors causing it to shatter over me. He does the same thing to Bella and she smashes into one of the mirrored columns. He captured it all on film too. “Beautiful, a very visual dynamic I chose my stage well.” He advances over to her as I try to sit myself up feeling every bone in my sides and back. “Still stubborn, aren’t you? Is that what makes you special because frankly, I don’t see it.” He inhales as if he’s already tasting her. He walks in my direction as Bella is slightly dazed and I push back further into the wall as if that will do anything. 

“See I thought you were unkillable when I first met you. It was maybe your second or third life. Did you know that none of them last over 22 years? Crazy huh?” He rubs his lips together, remembering all the times he’s seen me. “This is probably your sixth life and I’ve got you two times already! Of course, your little lovers didn’t know that until Edward told them!” He laughs like an insane person… which he is. “What.. what are you going to do this time?” I whimper from the pain in my sides. 

“Hmm, I could do this.” He raises his foot to stomp on my leg and I flinch, squeezing my eyes shut as I wait for the pain but instead of the pain sensation in my leg it’s on my shoulder. My eyes pop open and I scream in agony. “I want you to change for good. So when I do kill you for the last time, it will be the last time.” He laughs, picking me up and placing me right in the closet from before where the t.v. was. 

I can still hear him speak but my shoulder was burning, I start breathing heavily, trying to get up. “Too bad he didn’t have the strength to turn you. Instead, he kept you as this fragile little human. It’s cruel really.” There’s a moment of silence and due to the door shut in front of me, I can’t see what’s going on. “Well done! You’ve succeeded in annoying me.” Seconds later I hear Bella scream and a crunch sound, and if I wasn’t already groaning in pain I would’ve gasped at the sound. “Tell Edward how much it hurts.” He tells her. “Tell him to avenge you.” 

“No, Edward. Don’t!” She hisses, I feel the burning sensation start to grow further down my arm and to my chest. I couldn’t even speak if I wanted to. “Cut! The end!” I then hear a loud bang, and moments hit. “You’re alone because you’re faster than the others but not stronger,” James shouts, I hear another thump. I try not to focus on the burning, pulling out the pepper spray. I grunt, kicking at the door repeatedly. I hear a voice say something but nothing was clear enough anymore. Hearing loud movements and a body drop to the ground along with Bella’s voice clearly distressed, he did something to her, worse than the other thing. 

I get a hole through the door and I hear multiple other people. “Her femoral artery has been severed. She’s losing too much blood.” It was Carlisle, I hear him. “It’s burning! My hand!” Bella cried out, grunting. I try to kick at the door even more, not being able to move my torso. The adrenaline in my body sort of soothed the excruciating pain in my shoulder. I felt like at any moment the pain could paralyze me as it grew larger and larger. “You have a choice to make either let the change happen-” “No!”

“It’s going to happen anyway. I’ve seen it”

Alice, that’s Alice. I try to shout out her name but it goes out as just a loud scream. But I got someone's attention as the door opens. “It’s [Name]!” Emmett yells, he bends down and I look over his shoulder to see fire. Jasper was keeping it going before he heard my name being called out. I hum out suffering. “He, hah, he got me.” I grip the pepper spray in my hand and now Emmett’s arm. “He got you?” His face was panicked and I grit my teeth. “My shoulder, my shoulder.” I tilt my head to the shoulder he bit me on and he pulls me out of the closet to put me on a flat surface in a bigger space. Jasper and Alice surrounded me, “Help her!” I scream out as the pain shot through my body. “No, we can help you too!” Alice tells me, she rips my shirt where the bite was being covered. I hear Carlisle say something about it killing her and I look over to Edward hovered over Bella. 

“It reached her heart, Alice. It’s too late.” I listen to Jasper speak, I am still gripping onto Emmett’s arm but he hasn’t even tried to take it back. “It’s… it’s okay.” it calms down for a second and I stare up at Alice trying to reassure her but she shakes her head. “We have to try!” She exclaims. “No.. no!” I shout as it was in waves, my nails digging into what felt like glass but was still Emmett. 

And like waves soon came back my memories that I have never seen before. 

I see a desert and I’m with Jasper on two separate horses, then it cuts to me searching for Jasper. He’s gone. And I get shot in the middle of a field, left behind by what look like soldiers. Left to bleed out. Now I’m in a hospital wearing a hospital gown. In a different life. I go into a room to see Alice for the first time. I’m giving her something then it cuts to me out of the hospital and with a man… James! He attacked me while I had walked out of my car. 

Now at a party, I’m talking to the Cullens, every single one of them as if I have known them my whole life. Partying with Rosalie and dancing beside Alice. But I don’t seem to be in love with Jasper or Alice as there’s another man by my side. A man I don’t recognize. There’s a ring on my finger and it looks like this is my bachelorette party or something. We go into a bathroom and I tell the girls something that makes them cheer for me. I don’t hear anything though. It just cuts to a memory of me in the hospital room and Rosalie is holding my baby. But I’m sleeping? I’m dead? How am I seeing this if I’m dead? 

In my next life and I see extremely peppy, I’m wearing a bunch of colors but I’m only a child. I’m around the age of 8 and I’m in the forest with a woman who is holding my hand. Before it even goes far into this life it cuts to James once again attacking me and who I believe is my mother. The second time he’s killed me in one of my lives. 

Then my fifth life, the one before this one, and it looks like the late 70s or real early 80s and I’m at a school dance with Alice, people making fun of us as they pass by but I seem happy, she seems happy. I also have a tube that goes onto my nose. I look down to see an oxygen tank. Later that night after the dance I died from an asthma attack. 

And now this life. I don’t see any memories flash back to it. And my body shoots up awake, I go to gasp for air but it feels different. “You’re up.” A voice spoke up, I look around and it looks like a hotel. “What?”

“Lovebug, look at me.” Alice comes into my vision as Jasper stood right behind her.

“Did I die?” I glance around, sitting up against a wall. “No, not necessarily.” Alice frowns, “I changed? I’m one of you guys.” I state out loud and all they could do was nod.

4100 words bitches and I am fucking tired but the last chapter for this movie won't be as long I think. I don't know yet I still have to figure out some things for that. If you have any things you'd like to see or want to know for the story just comment and I'll try to reach back. I've been sleeping a lot lately and I do not know why. I'm going to work on the requests I was given tonight but I can tell anyone for sure when they will be out because even with sleeping I've been busy for no reason. I just already have most of the chapters for this story written out lol.

[afictionaladventure16]

Remember Me (Bucky x Natasha x Daughter!Reader)

Chapter 19

Previously on Remember Me...

Remember Me Masterlist

Word Count: 3,495

Warnings: mentions of Depression and mental health

A/N: I have an idea of what to do with this series so I may have mentioned it within the chapter, let me know what y'all think! Love your feedback!

You run down the hall making abrupt turns whenever you could. Every so often glancing behind you, but they were always a few steps behind you no matter what. One minute you were in your cell and the next they came marching in. You knew what it meant, the code words they used were no secrets. 

It all meant that you were being taken back to the scientist and it meant more needles. 

 You picked up the pace, but didn’t pay attention to where you were going. Eventually tripping over a piece of metal. 

“NO!” You screamed as they grabbed you by your arms. “Please! Please, don’t make me go back there!” You yelled into your voice was coarse. 

“Enough.” One of the men sternly said as he tightened his grip on your arm. 

“Please!” You begged. “I can’t do it anymore, please! I’ll do anything!” You were only five years old, you’ve only been away from your parents for a few weeks. 

“Listen, kid!” One of the guards yanked your arm, causing you to gasp. He knelt down to your level, it was the first time anyone has met you eye to eye. “You don’t ever want to say that again.” His eyes were bouncing around, trying to find some simmer of hope within yours, fortunately, yet unfortunately it was everywhere. Your hope was brighter than the sun and for a moment the guard felt horrible. He knew he was a monster, but a monster that needed to make a living. A monster with no other choice, he was in this hell hole with you. 

“From here on out, you are all you have. Just you, yourself, and your mind and you hold onto it with every little thing you have, do you hear me?” You nodded. The guard got up, “Don’t expect me to be nice like this again,” he said softly as he glance over to his colleague who throughout the time was staring down the hallway. 

They led you into a room, a room that you would become too familiar with in the coming years. 

A room that was known for creating monsters. 

A room in which you became a monster. 

“P-please,” you whispered to the doctors who were placing wires along your body. “I want my mommy,” you begged. 

“Test trial 1,” A voice began to say. “Experiment 66.” 

“Experiment 66, can you count from 100 backwards?” 

“Wh-What? My name is Y/N.” 

“Experiment-” 

“Y/N!” 

“Your name is no longer Y/N. You have no name,” An older looking gentlemen came into your view. “From here on out you are who we say you are and I suggest for your own well being, you listen.” 

“Experiment 66,” one of the other doctors said once again, “Can you count from one hundred backwards?” That’s all you were now? 

A number? 

A play thing for their enjoyment? 

A science experiment. 

“I want to go home,” you cried. 

The doctors glanced at each other, “Begin,” the older gentlemen said. The doctors at first hesitated, “Begin!” he yelled. 

And within an instant you felt the electricity run through your veins and then a second later it was gone. You let out a piercing scream, “Stop it!” you screamed. “Please!” You heard the flip of the switch and soon enough you knew what it meant. 

“Stop, please!” You cried out.

Again. 

“Papa! I want my Papa!” You cried 

~~ 

For some reason since the day you’ve come back home, Bucky has not gotten a full nights rest. It’s been a couple of months, but his mind was racing with any given second.

What if something happened in the middle of the night? 

or 

Was she really there? Everytime he check up on you it was the loudest thought in his mind. Were you really there? Or were you just a figment of his imagination? 

Bucky got up from bed, glancing over at Natasha who took two full melatonins before bed. Bucky could care less if he got the sleep, but he wanted to make sure Natasha got her rest.

A soft snore edge it’s way out of Natasha’s mouth, Bucky chuckled softly before making his way out of his room. It was time to check up on you again. It was almost every hour, he would get up and check on you. 

You room was across the hall from theirs, if Bucky had it his way, you’d be in the same room. But for the sake of Natasha’s sake and yours, you had your own room across the hall. 

Bucky closed his bedroom door, his head instantly lifting up. Something was wrong. He quietly made his way across the hall, he could hear soft whimpers coming your room. 

It could be an intruder, he thought. They’ve come back for her. 

His heart sunk at the thought. It was his biggest fear for the past few weeks, a fear that tormented him. He opened the door to see no intruder, letting a deep breath he had been holding in, his eyes made their way towards your bed. A smile made it’s home on his face, you were safe and you were home. It’s all that mattered to Bucky now, he had his family again. 

He turned to walk back out to the hallway. 

“Please!” You whimpered. Bucky stopped, he closed his eyes, it was always too good to be true. There was always something to keep him away from normalcy he so desperately wanted. “Let me go!” You cried out. Bucky looked back over at you in horror, of course you had gone through trauma, but you haven’t had any nightmares. He would’ve known, he checked on you every hour. 

He quickly made his way over to the side of your bed before climbing in. “Baby doll,” he said softly as he brushed some of your hair out of your face. “It’s time to wake up,” he gently nudged you, he knew out of experience to not startle you awake, but he also knew it was probably best not to wake you. Steve would say tell Bucky that he’d usually wait until he woke himself up, but he did remember feeling reassured by hearing Steve’s voice. It was all Bucky could do at the moment, rather than making the nightmare worse.  

“Please,” you cried, “I wanna go home.” 

“You are home,” he kissed the top of your head. “You’re home and you’re safe, fiica mea.” 

Bucky softly wrapped his arms around you, “Papa!” You whimpered, Bucky closed his eyes feeling the tears beginning to form. It was not easy for him, hearing you beg for him. He couldn’t imagine the things they did to you. Bucky gently brushed his fingers through your hair. 

“Papa’s here,” he whispered into your ear. “I’m here,” he reassured. Your breathing slowly began to become more and more steady from the eractiness it had been when your nightmare first began. It put Bucky at an ease, it meant that it was working. 

You slowly began to wake up, feeling arms around you and your hair being brushed gently. There was a warmthness that surrounded you, and a feeling in your stomach that you knew but you could not pinpoint what it was. You knew the feeling like an old friend. You leaned against the arm that was around you, there was a cooling touch to it and it did not take you long to know whose arm it belong to. You closed your eyes again, trying to remember when the last time you felt this way. 

Your mind was flooded with memories from when you were small and you laid next to your father for the night. Although danger followed the three of you, you felt safe and protected. 

Safe. 

That’s what it is. 

You opened your eyes again, remembering the voice you heard in your nightmares just now, it was your dad. Even in your nightmares, he found a way to protect you. “Dad?” you finally spoke up, Bucky jumped a little, not expecting to see you awake just yet. 

“You okay, doll?” He asked softly, as you got up from your position. You gave him a nod, “you want to talk about it?” You remained silent. Part of you wanted to, but the other already felt guilty for what had just happened, it was enough for one night. Bucky could sense your hesitation, he did not want to pressure you into talking, but he also did not want you bottling these feelings up. 

If you were anything like him, he knew that therapy was probably spent just an hour of silence. As much as he appreciated Dr. Raynor and what she has done for him, he thinks they both can agree what you really needed was someone with a shared experience. 

Bucky got up from the bed, making his way over to your closet, “what are you doing?” you asked as you watched him rummage through your things. 

“How many pairs of shoes do you own?” He asked in disgust, “Do you really need two pairs of the same shoe?” 

“Mom said I should always have a second pair of my favorite shoe.” 

“You have a lot of favorite shoes then,” he mumbled. “You definitely take after her on that,” he chuckled. Bucky walked out of the closet with a pair of black slip-on vans that looked pretty beat up, “Put these on.” 

“Why?” you asked. 

“We’re gonna go on a walk.” 

“Okay,” you placed the shoes on, before grabbing your gray sweatshirt that was on your desk chair. “What about mom?” 

“She took two of those melatonin gummies, she won’t be waking up, even if I tried to wake her up.” You followed your dad out into the hallway, “wait here,” he whispered. You watched as he walked into his bedroom, a few seconds later he walks out with a sweater and his shoes. He motions for you to follow him to the elevator. This living space was only temporary, your parents were in the market for a house in the suburbs or even a cabin by the lake. Something peaceful. You voted Cabin by the lake. 

“Where are we going?” you asked as you blindly followed Bucky down the street. 

“You’ll see,” he said with a smile. You both walked for what felt like miles, but it was only a mile and a half. Bucky stopped in front of the doors of a small diner. A twenty-four hour sign flicked off then back on every so often. “After you,” Bucky gestured as he opened the door which rang the bell that hung above. Bucky waved at the waitress who was behind the counter, “Hi, Diane.” 

You didn’t question it, you followed Bucky to a booth. Grabbing a menu to look over the items, “Get whatever you want,” Bucky said. 

You nod, continuing to look over at the menu items. Diane eventually walks over giving you a grin, “Well, who do we have here?” 

“Diane, this is my daughter, Y/N.” 

“Well, it’s lovely to meet you, Y/N.” Diane playfully smacks Bucky’s arm, “you never told me you had a daughter.” 

Bucky chuckles, “Sorry, Diane.” He glanced over at you, he never knew how to talk about you. Would it had been with past tense? Present tense? Would he speak about you as if you were always with him? No, he thought to himself. He wouldn’t be able to bare it. Lying to not only himself but everyone he ever became acquaintances with. “I’ll just have my usual.” 

“Figured as much, and what about you, Miss Y/N?” 

“Um,” you frantically looked over the menu once more, your eyes kept looking over at the item you wanted the most, but felt too old for. 

“Get whatever you want, hon,” Bucky reassured. 

“Can I get the smiley face pancakes?” You asked with a hint of embarrassment. 

Diane couldn’t help but smile, “Of course, anything to drink?” 

You glance over at Bucky, your eyes asking for the approval and it was as if he had read your mind. He gave you a small nod, “Oreo shake, please.” 

“It’ll be right out,” Diane stated as she walked away. 

You both remained in silence until the food came out, you grinned from ear to ear as Diane placed the smiley face pancakes in front of you. Bucky did everything he possibly could to savor that moment he saw you grin. If it were anyone else, they would’ve have taken their phone out to capture the moment, but he didn’t want to just capture the moment. He wanted to live it. 

And for a split second, it was as if you were a little girl again. As if, in a split second, you were no longer a teenager, but the girl he once knew and adored, the one he lost, but he blinked. He blinked and it was all taken away from him. 

Diane placed his plate in front of him, he could hear her muffled voice, asking if you both needed anything and before his body could even react you responded with no. Bucky still had his eyes on you when Diane walked away and you began to scarf down your pancakes. You held your fork the same way you did as a child, and you still ate with the same posture. 

It was like that little girl inside never left, just too afraid to show herself. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. 

You were almost done with your pancakes when you looked up to notice that he hadn’t even touched his food. “What?” you asked, tilting your head in a confused manner. 

“I could’ve tried harder,” he said softly. “You were just a kid.” 

“We don’t have to talk about this now, dad,” you said softly as you looked around. The diner was empty, but you couldn’t help but always have the feeling that someone could be listening. It was something you were still trying to get accustomed to. 

Bucky sighed, pushing his plate away, suddenly his appetite was gone. “I’m gonna go ask for a box to take this,” he said as he got up from the booth. 

You quickly finished your pancakes as you watched him ask Diane for a couple of containers and to go cups for the milkshak. There was a feeling in the pit of you stomach, the same feeling you would get when Zemo wanted to see you. 

It was fear.

 Anxiety. 

You didn’t know what happened between the time you had placed your order to the time you got your food to make him want to leave so quickly. Was it something you did? 

You grabbed your milkshake, taking a sip. 

Was it because you got a milkshake? You were quick to put the milkshake back on the table. Maybe you shouldn’t have gotten it after all. 

Your dad came back after a few minutes, “I got you some to go cups for your milkshake,” he gave you a small smile as he placed the to go cups in front of you before packing up his food. 

You had finished your food, so you quickly transferred your milkshake into the to go cup. You realized that Diane also gave you the extra’s, so you transferred it into another cup that Bucky had given you. You placed the cup with extra’s next to him, “For you,” you said with a smile. 

Bucky smiled at the gesture, “you sure?” You gave him a nod, “that’s definitely something you don’t get from your mother.” 

“What?” 

“Sharing food,” he chuckled as he took a sip from his milkshake. “You ready?” you gave him another nod, “Let’s go then.” He took his wallet out, leaving a few bills on the table before following you out of the restaurant. 

You began to walk the way you both came, “wrong way,” Bucky said. You turned around to see him gesture at you to follow him. 

Once again, words weren’t exchanged as you both walked along the sidewalk. Bucky struggled to know exactly what to say and how to say it. Coming from a different generation where, a lot of things were best left unsaid to a generation where everything was talked about. Mental health was no longer thought of as something bad. 

Going to therapy is common now, talking about how things can effect you in different ways and how to deal with those effects. It was all still new to him. Everyday was still a struggle. 

Unbeknownst to him, Bucky had led you to the Central Park just as the sun was slowly beginning to make its appearance. He sat down at one of the many benches nearby, you sat beside him. 

You watched as the sky slowly began to change color, the sun still hidden in the horizon, but the shades of orange and pink were apparent in the sky. 

“You know, we used to do this a lot when you were younger,” bucky finally said. 

“This?” you gestured towards the park.

He chuckled, “The early morning breakfasts and coming here, to this exact bench,” Bucky sighed, “and watch the sunrise.” 

“Was mom with us?” 

“Sometimes,” the sun slowly began to peak through the trees, “A lot of times it was just you and me because you would keep your mom up and well, I felt like she deserved to sleep in.” 

Maybe you were too little to remember, but you still tried your hardest to remember. “I’d give anything to remember that,” you whispered. 

“You were too little,” Bucky said. You both remained silent, letting the birds that surrounded the park do the talking. “I’m sorry,” he said again. 

“You have nothing to apologize f-” 

“Yes, I do,” he interrupted. “I was the fucking Winter Soldier for christ sake. I was made to be one of the best assassins out there, yet I couldn’t even protect you.” 

“It’s okay,” you said. 

“No, Y/N. It’s not. I was weak, they had your mother, but I could’ve done something and I’m sorry. If I could go back in time and tell myself what I know now, I would.” 

“But you can’t,” you scoffed, “you can’t meet your past self, it’s time travel 101 and that’s okay, because you found me.”

Yes, he found you, but to Bucky it wasn’t good enough and there a small part of you that felt it wasn’t good enough too. Part of you knew your father couldn’t go back in time and let his past self know what the outcome was, but that didn’t mean you could. 

“I did find you,” Bucky took in a deep breath, “but now you went through things I wish you never had to go through.” 

You thought back to your recent session with Dr. Raynor, the things she’s mentioned and how adamant you were about everything being fine. All these efforts your parents were making to make it all normal, “Everything is not okay,” you whispered to yourself. 

“What?” 

“I’m not okay,” you said a little louder, “You’re not okay, mom isn’t okay. Everything is not okay and we keep acting like it is and like everything is normal but it isn’t.” 

Bucky did not know what to say, but you were right. It wasn’t okay. They’ve been trying to cover up the dam with ducttape, but it wasn’t a fix, it was just patching holes that were soon going to break. 

“I want it all back,” you softly said. “I want to be three again and running around with you and mom. I was oblivious to the obvious dangers that surrounded me but I was obliviously safe.” You began to feel the tears in your eyes. “I want it all back, it hurts.” 

“I know,” Bucky whispered. 

“I don’t want powers, I don’t want all this trauma that could be used for a better good. I just want the three of us to be normal, I want it all back. Like how it used to be.” 

“What are you trying to say?” 

“I don’t know,” you sighed. “I’m tired of pretending,” Bucky didn’t say anything, he knew all you needed him to do was to sit and listen, “I don’t want to pretend that everything is okay, but I don’t know how to get past that everything might not ever be okay.” You glanced up at Bucky, tears in your eyes, “Can you hold me?” 

Bucky let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, “Of course,” he pulled you into his arms without hesitation, kissing the top of your head. “You don’t have to pretend anymore, Y/N. Just let us in.” And like that, the dam burst. You let out a sob, letting it control your body like you were a little girl again. The deep double breaths that always gave you a headache, the snotty nose, and the red puffy eyes. The little girl inside you was screaming and she was finally being heard. 

Taglist: (TO BE ADDED, CLICK HERE )

[dawninlatin]

Crying in the IKEA parking lot

a feysand modern au one shot written for @officialfeysandweek2023

Feyre is having an emotional breakdown in the IKEA parking lot, but luckily a handsome stranger comes to her rescue

Words: 2,2k | Masterlist | AO3 Link

Feyre had experienced many low points in her twenty-two years, but crying in the parking lot of IKEA had to be one of the lowest.

To be fair, she was having a pretty shit day, a shit year, even, but that didn’t make her feel any better as she stared at the scratch on the shiny, expensive-looking car parked next to hers.

A scratch that was one hundred percent her fault.

She let out a pathetic sob as her mind replayed the moment when she’d been too busy cursing at the furniture she couldn’t fit in her trunk to notice that her cart was rolling away from her, straight into the other car.

There was no way she could afford to pay for the repair, especially not now, when she’d just spent the little money she had on a dining table and a single chair for her mostly empty apartment.

Feyre gave the package still sitting on the ground a kick in frustration. «Fucking useless piece of shit!»

«Are you okay? Do you perhaps need any help with that…?»

The voice startled her, and Feyre whirled around, suddenly facing the most beautiful man she had ever seen. He looked at her with a mix of concern and curiosity, his eyes so blue they almost seemed violet.

«I’m fine,» Feyre answered a little too quickly, plastering on a fake smile and pretending her face wasn’t all puffy and red. She’d gotten so used to telling this lie lately, it came on autopilot.

Unfortunately, the stranger wasn’t a complete idiot, and didn’t buy her lie. The few tears still running down her cheeks probably didn’t help either. «So crying in the middle of a parking lot is just something you do for fun?» The question was accompanied by a perfectly raised eyebrow. 

Smile dropping, Feyre replied, «No, it’s just-»

And that’s all it took for the floodgates to open once more. 

«I’ve had a really shitty time lately, and I just needed to get a table because I don’t wanna eat every meal sitting on the floor for the rest of my life, but then I came out here and I can’t get the fucking box in my car and then I accidentally scratched the car next to mine and I know I should be the better person here and leave a note but there is no way I can afford to pay for it to be repaired!» She was full-on sobbing again, choking out the words. 

When she’d managed to calm down a little, the crying reduced to sniffling, she looked up, surprised to find that the man still stood there. Feyre had expected her little mental breakdown to scare away the stranger, he’d only asked if she needed help, after all, but there he was, offering her a soft smile and a tissue. «So a really shitty day then?»

«Yeah,» Feyre replied weakly, wiping her tears.

«I wouldn’t worry too much about the car, though.»

«Why?» 

He smirked, and it made Feyre want to kiss his handsome face and punch it at the same time. She really should see a therapist or something. «Because if they can afford a car like that, the asshole can probably afford a repair as well.»

This time, when Feyre smiled, it was real. It felt good, after all this time.

«So, did you need any help?» the guy asked, gesturing towards the package still on the ground.

Feyre had barely nodded before he strode over, and in a single, seemingly effortless move lifted it into her car. It annoyed her to no end, but she was also grateful, because it meant she could get out of here and forget this completely mortifying experience ever happened.

«Thanks, uhm…» She didn’t even know his name, she realized.

«Rhysand, though my friends call me Rhys,» he offered, grinning.

His name was Rhys, and he had dimples. How was it possible to be this attractive?

«I’m Feyre,» she replied, completely cool, calm and collected…probably.

«Well, it was nice meeting you, Feyre, darling. I have to go and brave the hell that is IKEA to get something for my stupid cousin, but I hope the rest of your day is better!»

Feyre actually chuckled this time, giving him a wave and a «Good luck!» as he walked away. She watched him in a totally non-creepy way until he’d fully disappeared into the large store, relishing the way she felt kinda good right now. One encounter with a kind human didn’t fix all her problems, but it gave her back some of the faith she’d lost in humanity long ago.

Still smiling, Feyre got into the driver’s seat, but she didn’t start the car. Instead, her attention was pulled to the passenger seat, and the abandoned sketchbook that’d been lying there for months now.

She sucked in a sharp breath at the sudden urge to draw again. The familiar itching in her hands could have brought her to tears if she’d had any left. Maybe she actually could feel like herself again, someday in the future…

Glancing at the car next to hers, Feyre contemplated her choices. There was no way she could afford the repair bill, but no matter how she thought about it, the only right thing to do was choose kindness. What if the rich asshole was having an equally shit day?

That didn’t mean Feyre couldn’t make them feel as sorry for her as possible, though. Maybe if they knew what a mess she was, it would get her out of paying.

So she rummaged around in her car until she found a pencil, then she picked up her sketchbook and started drawing for the first time in months.

-

Feyre groaned for what had to be the hundredth time as she struggled to assemble the table. Wasn’t this supposed to be easy?!

She knew she should just go to bed and try again in the morning, but she wanted to do this, wanted to show the universe she could manage on her own.

Who knew leaving your abusive ex when you had no job, no education, no friends and no contact with your family would be so difficult?

Just when Feyre was about to give up, her phone suddenly chimed, alerting her of a new text.

Anxiously, she picked up the phone, her stomach flipping as she read the text from an unknown number.

Is this Feyre Archeron?

It had to be the owner of the car, Feyre thought. After all, she’d ended up leaving a rather creative note describing what had happened, signed with her full name and number.

The note had consisted of eight comic panels, first showing an overly animated Feyre looking miserable in her empty apartment, then her looking miserable in IKEA, her emptying her pockets at the register, then swearing as she tries to get the package into her car. Next featured a few panels very dramatically portraying how the cart had rolled into the car completely on it’s own, ending with Feyre drowning all of IKEA in her tears.

To be honest, she was kind of proud of it.

Chewing her lip, Feyre typed back a simple «Yes».

Mere seconds later, it started ringing, that same number appearing on the screen. She nearly dropped it in panic, and honestly wanted to just chuck it out the window. She did not want to buy a new phone though, especially not if she had to spend thousands on repairing an ugly-ass car that wasn’t even hers.

Hands shaking, she pressed reply, bringing the phone to her ear. «Hello?»

«That comic is the best thing I’ve ever seen. I’m seriously gonna frame it and hang it on my wall.»

Feyre’s heart promptly stopped as she heard the deep, silky voice. She would recognize it anywhere, if only from the things it did to her body.

«Rhys?!» she choked out.

«I told you to not worry about the car.» She could hear the smirk in his voice, and for some reason it filled her with rage.

«That was your car?! Why the hell didn’t you say so? I made a complete fool of myself in front of you-»

«No you didn’t,» Rhys interrupted her. «And I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to stress you out even more. I’m sorry if that was wrong of me.»

Well, that was awfully…charming of him. Feyre didn’t know what to do with all these feelings swirling inside her. Especially not after living on autopilot for so long.

«Just tell me how much I owe you,» Feyre sighed. 

«How about you let me help you build that furniture, and we’ll call it even?»

«What? That’s ridiculous!» There had to be something seriously wrong with this guy, if he thought getting to help her with her furniture would make them even.

«Text me your address, and I’ll be there in thirty. With pizza.» 

And then he just hung up.

-

Exactly thirty minutes later, Feyre opened her front door to find Rhys on the other side, pizza in hand and a panty-dropping smile on his face. «Hello, Feyre, darling.»

«Ugh, just get in.» She was too hungry to bother with pleasantries. 

He followed her into the kitchen area, setting the pizza on the counter. Feyre busied herself with getting a glass of water, trying to not let her embarrassment show as he took in the space. She really hadn’t been kidding when she’d said it was all empty.

Well, apart from the still-not-assembled table.

When she looked up, though, he was looking at her, not the empty space. 

«Just so we’re clear, I have no ulterior motives in doing this,» Rhys spoke, all serious. His gaze so intense she couldn’t look away.

«I’m not gonna deny that I find you very attractive, and I would love to take you on a date some day, but right now, what I think we both need the most, is a friend.» 

Her chest ached at the pain she glimpsed in his violet eyes, a fellow lost soul. Maybe he was just as lonely, just as broken, despite the easy smiles? Feyre smiled faintly, thinking that she wouldn’t mind a friend right now.

Then Rhys opened his mouth again, and the moment was ruined. «And we both know you find me incredibly handsome because duh,» he gestured to his face, and Feyre scowled, flipping him off.

«Are you even qualified to build furniture?» Feyre asked, all serious. If he turned out to be excellent at this she would lose it.

«Are you kidding me? My great-great-grandfather was Swedish. I’ll show you my family tree to prove it.»

«You’re such a prick!» Feyre exclaimed, smacking his arm, but she was laughing as she did it.

This was gonna end in disaster.

-

«You’re even worse at this than I am!»

«I swear, there has to be something wrong with this table!»

The puzzled expression on Rhys’ face as he sat with the final leg of the table in his hand and seemingly no where to put it made Feyre laugh so hard her stomach hurt a little.

They hadn’t gotten much further from where Feyre had been before Rhys showed up to help her.

«I don’t understand…There are four legs, and four corners, so why won’t it fit?!» 

«Let me have a look,» Feyre chuckled, leaning into Rhys’ space to study the instructions once more.

As she reached forward to turn back a page, her hand brushed against his, and she let out a quiet gasp at the contact. He was so close she could feel the warmth emanating from him. 

Neither of them moved for a moment, the tension between them nearly tangible. 

Then Feyre turned her head, slowly, finding his eyes already locked on her, his gaze intense. It would be so easy to just lean in and kiss him, taste him.

Surprisingly, a part of her wanted to. Feyre knew she could be oblivious, but one had to be a complete idiot to not feel the chemistry between them, the spark that had been there from the very first moment.

Her life was too much of a mess at the moment, though. She needed to get her head above water first, needed more time to heal the wounds from her previous disaster of a relationship.

So Feyre pulled away, swiftly ending the moment. She could sense a shift in Rhys as well, but where she’d expected disappointment, maybe even annoyance, she only found a quiet, patient calm, the soft smile on his face telling her he understood, and he was willing to wait, but if she one day was ready, he would be there.

«I may have lied when I said I was a pro at this…»

«I knew it!»

Feyre gave Rhys a smile of her own, so grateful that he didn’t make things awkward after her subtle rejection. She hoped he could see the words she couldn’t voice quite yet.

I want to, I really do, but I’m not ready.

I haven’t had this much fun in ages.

You’ve made me feel alive again.

Having him as her friend would have to be enough.

For now.

A/N: don't ask about the header i was feeling creative today...

ANYWAY I have returned from the dead (I just started college) to give you this:):) I also actually had a beta reader this time, so kudos to my roommate! I'm sorry for making you read this and watch glee with me at the same time<3<3<3 Feel free to reblog, leave a comment or drop by my ask box, I love attention:)

Taglist: @ireallyshouldsleeprn @rowaelinismyotp

I keep a separate taglist for each ship, so let me know if you want to be added to any of them!

[whumpshaped]

First of all, I am equal parts amazed and terrified of your severe brainrot rn. Surely you don't sleep at night, eat or drink, just rotate those two like döner kebab and write? I binge-read it all yesterday (some pieces I read twice or thrice 😌) and I am overjoyed that the chapters keep coming but please don't write yourself into exhaustion 🥺

Second of all, Shadows for the vampire bingo! I imagine Helle likes dining out from time to time... Finds some other poor soul and is disappointed when they aren't as entertaining as Beck; or maybe they take beck somewhere, some park full of shadows - as enrichment 😊

i mean ur not wrong.. i do nothin but write recently.. but dont worry i'll be forced not to write for a good while starting saturday bc im going home :/ but until then its kebab time. heres how helle went about feeding while beck was out w the flu <3 not their best night

masterlist bingo card

tw vampire whumper, mind control, noncon biting of a married couple i feel like thats a special offence, noncon drugging, past trauma, death mention

Helle left the apartment feeling sick to their stomach. It was a dumb thing to still be so hung up about, it was merely the worst and last few days of their mortal life that gave way to a century torment right afterwards. Nothing monumental.

"This is ridiculous," they muttered to themself, quickly pressing the button that opened the front door of the building. The fresh air against their skin was definitely a welcome sensation — it made them temporarily forget about how suffocating their coffin had been.

They immediately spotted a couple on the bench by the playground, being all cute with each other. They thought about ruining yet another date night, but... no, they needed to get away for a bit. Just for half an hour or so. Take a walk, maybe, be around some other people so they could forget about the sight of their human lying on the bed with his face flushed.

'It's just the flu,' he'd said. Right. Because influenza was absolutely incapable of killing anyone, right? Because they weren't supposed to be thinking about the stupid outbreak, because it was three hundred years ago, because medicine had advanced since then, because it was just one human– Fucking hell, they had been that one human before. And if Beck was dying, they wouldn't even have the guts to turn him. Not like this.

They stopped and took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. It was fine. Everything was fine. Beck wasn't dying, they weren't dying anymore, and Lady Marie was dead. What they needed to do was find an unfortunate, stupid human, have dinner, and go back to check on their unfortunate, stupid human.

They stuck to the shadows around buildings, places that the streetlights didn't quite illuminate. They looked around the area for any fresh meat, eventually bumping into yet another couple. What was it with them? Well, whatever. They would do.

It took all of two seconds for the women to notice them once they amped up the charm a bit, and suddenly they were walking towards the danger zone, compelled to be around such an alluring stranger. Helle didn't wait for either of them to strike up a conversation.

"Stay right there for me," they said softly, enthralling one of the women while they grabbed her... girlfriend? Wife? They glanced down and caught a glimpse of the matching rings they were wearing. Yes, definitely her wife.

They grabbed the woman and bit down, steadying her with one hand and covering her mouth with the other. She tasted fine, they supposed, but everything felt like a downgrade after Beck. They used enough venom to keep her discomfort to a minimum, but hopefully not enough that she would come knocking on their door a couple days later for round two. It was hard to tell whether the charm was even broken, or she still thought she was getting randomly bitten by someone she'd met five seconds ago and didn't even get to greet.

They pulled away and lifted the enthrallment, just in time for the first woman to see her wife slump against them like a giggly little ragdoll. "You should probably bring her home," they suggested helpfully. "I am no doctor."

~

taglist: @whumpsday @the-scrapegoat @hidden-dreamland @dismemberment-on-a-tuesday-night @delicateprincepaper @whumppmuhw @florissimps @nicolepascaline @oliversrarebooks @the-cyrulik @pirefyrelight

[elentari-celestaire]

✧unyielding pillar, fleeting mist✧

i. molten amber amidst that which concealed a heart too gentle for a war-torn world.

[ previous ll masterlist ll next ]

pairing: morax x f!reader synopsis: a story of a human female from Earth, who was thrown into the world of Teyvat during one of its most dangerous era. despite being bestowed with a power far stronger than any Teyvat mortal could wield, y/n decided to use her gift of mist to hide away from the burning and bloodied war-filled world. but, what will she do when Morax, the warrior god, one of the seven victors of the archon war and future geo archon waltzed into her mist-concealed island, that she had hidden away from the inhabitants of Teyvat for decades? author’s note: i wrote this in a rush and also, in a sleep-deprived state. rips anyways, it’s been almost a decade since i last publicly post a fanfic. if there’s any warning or tags i should have added, do let me know.

On fog shrouded island — hidden from the eyes of the rest of Teyvat, two figures ran through a field of ice flowers.

“This way, Lady y/n!!! Lady Seiran is with the outsiders at this very moment!!” a young man declared, his voice laced with panic as he led the divine priestess of the island.

“What do they look like?” y/n questioned, her voice laced with worry — her chest heaved heavily as an anxious feeling grew within her.

“I apologise, my lady. I could not see their faces. They were hooded.”

For almost a century, she has protected and guided the people of this island but, never had an outsider set foot in this sanctuary. The fog that surrounded the island had always managed to ward off beings — mortals and even immortals.

‘Then, how in the world did they manage to see through the mist?! Who are they?! What did I wrote in the contingency plans for this situation?!’ y/n screamed inwardly.

The people of the village were not trained fighters. Yes, her right-hand man was gifted with a hydro vision and they could defend themselves against wild beasts and perhaps against other mortals with vision but, not against gods.

Even if one of them has a vision and another, the ability to manipulate mist, what could a group of regular villagers do against gods — who could literally one shot a mere human if they so want to?

Many decades ago, she was blessed with the power of mist — in the form of a pawn-shaped chess piece filled with swirling mist. With those powers, she promised to keep these people of the village safe and away from the upcoming war.

These people who took her in saving her from drowning in the sea when she was strangely thrown into the world of Teyvat — the very world she had always wanted to see and experience.

Yet, this was not what she had wished for.

The world she was in right now felt both familiar yet, different from the one in the game — where she had spent countless hours wandering and travelling.

It took her awhile to discovered why it felt different. Despite indeed being in Teyvat, she was centuries ahead of the time she knew so well — hundreds of years before the time of peace. An era, when war and bloodshed were rampant throughout Teyvat.

Y/n knew all too well the outcome of this particular war but, the very thought of being involved in the war of gods filled her with dread and terror. Countless sleepless nights spent worrying about everyone’s safety and countless more planning on ways to keep everyone from the cruelty of war.

At times, y/n questioned what even was her purpose here in Teyvat? Does Celestia have a customer support page, where she can ask why did she even get a gnosis?? Isn’t that something the Archons get after they win the goddamn Archon War??? Then, why??

Was it her protectiveness over the villagers?? Or was it her desperation over not wanting to die or killed brutally in a war? Or is she perhaps a pawn, like the very chess piece she received?

If so, then damn it. They're really not hiding the fact that she's just thrown there as a form of entertainment. Will she even be able to return to her world? Does she even want to return? Despite being thrown in there at a dangerous time, she had always wanted to be in Teyvat.

After decades of having those questions constantly plaguing her mind, she decided to give up on finding an answer.

As y/n and her male companion approached the centre of the main community area, she couldn’t help but, winced at the sight of the stone statue of her as the divine priestess.

Despite always telling the villagers to treat her like a friend or even family, imagine the shock when she left her residence and saw a statue of her — though she’s thankful that statue has her face covered with a veil.

With each step she took toward the statue, the outlines of three figures became clearer. A female person, dressed in the traditional priestess garb — Seiran, one of her close friends and confidants. The two figures facing Seiran, were dressed in robes — their faces hidden behind their hoods.

Activating her elemental sight, y/n could see two elemental pulses, one of hydro and geo. The hydro energy was undeniably strong but, the intensity of the golden waves emanating from the other figure — whose form and robes seemed particularly familiar to y/n — made her stomach turn.

Y/n paused as she realized that the geo energy did not come from just any god but, rather the one god — whom she hoped to never encounter during her who-knows-how-long-and-for-what-purpose stay in Teyvat.

The geo insignia on the back of the robe only proved to confirm her suspicions, and before she knew it, his name escaped her lips in a whisper.

“Morax?”

E/c eyes widened in disbelief at her own actions, while her hands hastily covered her mouth. Y/n prayed to whichever Celestia gods who threw her into this world — that it was not loud enough to be heard by anyone especially him.

Unfortunately for y/n, her soft whispers did not go unheard. Not only was it picked up by the young man standing next to her but, it was also carried by the wind to the person — whose very name she had just whispered.

Morax. Lord of Geo. The Warrior God. And, the future Geo Archon.

Y/n panicked and inwardly cursed herself for her carelessness while being bombarded with questions by the person next to her.

But, everything around her came to a halt when golden ambers locked onto hers.

amber gems that gleam a brilliant gold, hidden umber locks flowing in the icy breeze; after all i did to protect all those i care for, why does my heart waver in your presence?

[thana-topsy]

WIP Wednesday!

Thank you to @mareenavee for the tag! I tag @expended-sleeper @viss-and-pinegar @anxious--ace @kookaburra1701 and @moriche

WELL this is a WIP that may never see the light of day, honestly. It takes place during [vague hand gesture] but sometime after Halfway to the Sky ends. Honestly, I just kind of wanted to write Aiden and Harukar talking and getting to know each other outside of everything that had happened on their journey. So, I've cut out the bits that spoil how HttS ends, but have a Giant Nerd and a Vampire basically going on a date:

Word count: 1267

---

"But indulge me, if you will: what would you be doing had Sarel never come to you?”

Aiden raised an eyebrow. “You say that as if you don’t know the truth of his arrival.” 

“It’s neither here nor there. He’s in your life regardless. So, tell me about yourself. What are your interests? What drives you, outside of parenthood?”

“Is this a date, now?” 

Harukar gave another small shrug, and Aiden felt heat rise in his cheeks. Implications of their non-date aside, it was a good question. Aiden was slightly terrified at the fact that he didn’t have an answer readily available. 

“I’ve always wanted to prove myself as a scholar. I’m no great mage, but I know the theory behind most schools of magic backwards and forwards. It makes me a good enough teacher, but teaching isn’t really my passion.”

“So, what is?”

Aiden thought for a long moment, letting the question roll through his mind. “Research, I suppose. History. I feel most at home surrounded by books and manuscripts. Piecing together clues from the past, finding parallels between different theories, drawing new conclusions. It’s thrilling to prove an old theorem wrong.” He groaned. “That sounds so pathetic, I know.”

“Not at all. The life of an academic is attractive to many people.”

“I just wanted to do something that had never been done before—ask questions other scholars were too afraid to ask. I just wanted to find the thing that would change the history books, something attributed to me. People would hear the name ‘Aiden’ and their first thought would be of me, and not the damn Direnni Prince!” 

“How many siblings did you have?” Harukar asked. 

The question caught Aiden off guard. “Er, four. I was the…” And then it dawned on him. “Middle child.” He sighed and covered his eyes with his hands. “I’m pathetic, aren’t I?”

“You speak terribly of yourself so often. It frustrates me. And, if I’m honest, it makes me rather angry with whoever it was that put these thoughts into your head.”

“Would it be better if I spoke too highly of myself? Thought myself Auri-El’s gift to Mundus?”

“There’s a third option, you know.”

Aiden smiled and took a sip of wine. “What about you? What would you be doing now had you never become a vampire?”

“Well, I’d most likely be dead, considering I’m about two hundred years past my expiration.”

 Aiden snorted into his cup. “Fair point.” He chuckled and wiped droplets of wine from his cheek. 

Harukar appeared to think for a moment. “I probably would have died a warrior with the Ash’abah. We aren’t known for our long lifespans. So, in many ways, my affliction afforded me the ability to do much more than I might have otherwise been able to. And, despite everything, I feel that I’ve been able to do a lot of good. So I’m thankful, in the end.”

“Do you ever get tired of trying to constantly see the good in life?”

Harukar smiled. “No. Nor do I tire of trying to see the good in people.”

Aiden flushed with unwanted heat once more. “So, you said that you’ve had children, adopted or otherwise. I assume they’re all grown up?” 

“Or dead, now, yes.” 

“Dead?” 

It was Harukar who averted his eyes now. “The unfortunate aspect of having a long life. I pity elves who take human partners.”

“Ah, yes. I worried about that with Collette. Briefly, that is. Our relationship—” Aiden bit his tongue. The wine was loosening his lips already. “Well, that is to say, if you could call what we had a relationship, it didn’t last very long. So it’s less of a worry, now.”

“Collette?” Harukar tilted his head curiously. 

“She was basically a mother to Sarel. We’d… attempted a relationship before I began my research into the Falmer, but of course it ended in disaster. As all my relationships do.”

“And how many have you had?” 

What a shameful question with an equally shameful answer. “Three, I suppose. If you count a teenage fling that lasted less than a month. And then the second one was with a fellow student when I was at the College of Sapiarchs. They all end the same way: her being the first to call it off. I just—I never seem to know what they want from me!”

“Pardon?”  

“Women. They confuse and elude me,” Aiden confessed, taking another long sip of wine. “I think I’m better off alone.”

Harukar wore a strange look, seeming to take a long moment to study Aiden. “Forgive me, this may be too forward, but… I had assumed you preferred men.”

Aiden snapped to sit up straight, letting out a too-loud laugh. “What? Why?” 

Harukar gave another one of his infuriating little shrugs. “Just a feeling, I suppose.”

“Well, I’m not. I don’t.” He hesitated. “At least, I don’t think I am… or do. I’ve never—”

Don’t lie to his face, Aiden. 

Ah, of course, it had been too long since his little Daedroth had interjected. 

We both know the fantasies that occupy your mind, alone, with only your hand to keep you company.

Aiden cleared his throat. “Even if a man showed interest in me, I’m not sure I’d even know what to do.” This conversation was getting out of hand. 

“I find it’s very much the same, regardless of sex or gender. The mechanics vary slightly, is all.”

“You mean, you’ve—” Aiden tried not to gape. “You’re—?”

“I’ve had many partners in my life so far. Men and women, and a few that fell somewhere in-between. I don’t really have a preference. It all depends on the person.”

“Oh… So, then—er—what do you find attractive in a partner?” 

Harukar hummed thoughtfully, looking off and to the right. “I like those with a quick wit. I rarely hold back my own sarcasm, so someone who doesn’t feel put off by that kind of humor. I also tend to be drawn towards more…bookish types. I think, being raised a warrior, I seek my opposite in a lot of ways.” 

“You can’t be serious.” 

“I very much am.” There was a playful glint in Harukar’s glowing eyes. “I’m also attracted to passionate people. Those who have a spark for life, one might say.”

“Is that—” Aiden did manage to catch himself that time and clamped his mouth shut. 

“Is that what?”

“Sorry, no. That… I feel like that would have come out wrong. It would have been rude.” 

Aiden might as well live with his foot in his mouth, he could hear his sister saying. Anything he thinks, he says. (It had been many, many years since she’d made that observation, and Aiden had thought that he’d improved since then.)

“Now I’m curious.” 

“I was going to ask if the attraction to… that ‘spark for life’, as you said, was because you were…” Aiden gestured vaguely in his direction. 

“Ahh, because I’m undead.”

Aiden smiled, though it was more of a grimace. 

To his relief, Harukar laughed. “You should have just said it. It would have been funny. It’s one of the things I like about you.” 

“That I have the chronic ability to fit my entire foot in my mouth?”

“Mmm, I understand it’s a quality that’s probably unbecoming of an Altmer.” Harukar leaned on the table, propping his chin in his hand. “But I find it charming… most of the time, at least.”

He finds you charming. He’s attracted to men, he likes bookish types, and he finds you charming.

Most of the time…

Aiden cleared his throat before refilling his tankard with another heavy pour of wine. 

--- These fucking guys...

[not-so-allegiant-general]

Part 1/4 | Part 2/4

Kylo swallowed and took a deep breath looking at the metal door.

"Okey. No weapon. No stupid ideas. No taking off cuffs. No suspicious activity. No fights. No crossing the red line on the ground. Otherwise, date cancelled. Understood? "

"Yes, sir"

"Right. You have exactly four hours, no more, no less. "

"I understand"

"Alright. I don't like this" Officer sighed "At all. If i see something that i don't like even more i will stop that madness. Do you..."

"Yes. I understand." Officer looked at him not sure and opened door with a button. "Hux! Your visitor!"

Kylo walked into the cell keeping eyes on Hux. Redhead was sited behind a table with hands cuffed to the counter with a chain. His eyes went wide as Kylo approached him.

"Ren " he whispered. Kylo smiled slightly. He looked at the red line under the table. Hux caught his glance. He stood up a sat down on the table. The chain of the cuffs clanged. Kylo was on the table in less than a second. He hugged him quickly and felt how Hux put head on his shoulder.

"It's... actually just Kylo now." He felt Hux smiling.

" Yeah? I like that" he murmured to his neck closing his eyes. " Just Kylo"

Kylo closed his eyes tightly pulling him closer. He felt Hux trembling, he felt his tears on the neck. And he felt so much pain, so much loneliness. He had to take a breath. Ease himself just to not kill everyone in this cursed place.

"How much time?" Hux said silently.

"Four hours."

"Four hours" Hux echoed his words. "Why are you doing this to me..." in his voice was even more pain. He shook his head. "Don't you know how its hurt?"

"Look at me." Hux sat straight and looked at him. Kylo kissed him putting hands on his neck. " I will do anything to see you more often. Anything Hux."

"Don't. Desperation is a bad advisor. "Kylo sighed and just hugged.

"You're even thinner.." he said tracing his spine with a hand. Redhead sighed leaning into his touch.

"Please don't stop." He whispered and then immediately looked at him annoyed. "You look great. I am reliefed and jealous at the same time. What just Kylo is up to right now?"

Kylo cleared his throat.

" I... Well. I guess nothing much. " He kissed his neck. " I train with Rey and Luke" Hux rose his eyebrow.

"You mean... Your uncle who wanted to kill you and the scavenger girl who... Wanted to kill you and rejected your hand?"

"Ah when you say it like that... We talked with Luke. He is actually more bearable than my mother. He... Convinced her to let me meet you"

" Are you fine?"

" I am. It could be worse. A lot worse. But every time i closed my eyes i saw you and i couldn't...i...

"Shut up now. " Hux hissed taking a deep breath " i am not crying again today because of your sentimental idiocy" he barked at him and Kylo just pulled him closer.

"I missed that so much. Missed you." Hux closed his eyes, found his hand and hold it tightly.

"I missed you more."

"it is not a competition"

"but its true"

" am not going to argue that"

"Good. You would lose." He looked at him then dropped his eyes looking at the ground " You know what they will do after your exit? They're going to interrogate me. Thinking that maybe i would say something valuable for another meeting with you."

" i know you won't do it"

Hux stayed silent. For two years. For exactly one hundred and five interrogation. He didn't say a word. Nothing except his name, his rank and his personal identification code. And now? Now he was looking at Kylo knowing that he would say everything for another visit. And he felt shame. He was disgusted with himself.

Kylo brushed orange hair with his fingers.

"Are they... Hurting you?" Hux only rolled his eyes.

"Don't bother."

" What that suppose to mean? It was a simple question Hux... "

" It really isn't simple. They don't. Not physically at least. But i can't have... Anything. Not even freaking piece of paper and a pencil. Its pathetic. Like what? I will build a destroyer here? With paper and graphite?"

"You have bruises."

"its not them."

"Then who?"

" I tell you and what you go and kill him?"

"that's the plan."

" Stupid plan. Leave it. Its just bruises. Nothing more"

"Hux. "

" I said. Leave it Kylo. I can take care of myself" he closed his eyes tired. I was perfectly stable until you came. He thought. Only that wasn't truth. Every night he saw him in dreams. Every morning was a constant longing. He was far from stable. Far from good. " i missed you" he whispered " tell me what i have to do to just have you for longer. I will do anything. "

" No. You won't. You would hate yourself for the rest of you life."

" I don't care any more."

"That's not true. And we both know that. "

Hux sighed.

" What i did to deserve you ?" He snorted " i was good officer"

" You.... You mean It like a punishment?"

" Of course. What. You thought i will praise you? Funny. You're a disgrace Just Kylo" Kylo laughed.

" Promise me you are not going to do something against yourself just to meet me. "

" If you will do the same" Kylo sighed and nodded.

"Fine." Hux smiled.

"That's my boy" he murmured. "Don't let them file your teeth. I like them sharp" he whispered.

[cardierreh15]

Believer

I do not give permission to anyone to copy or repost my work!!

Warnings 18+: Slight Angst , Flirting , Mentions of Sex , Fluff 💕💗

Pairing: Clark Kent x Cardíerre James (black!plus size female)

Description: Clark decides to welcome Cardí back to the daily planet in a special way.

Side Note: This is a part one. I wrote way too much to keep anyone's attention I feel. Part two's link will be at the bottom.

Word Count: 5.7K

Song: Happy Feelings by Maze & Frankie Beverly

Chapter 3: Moment for life

‘Wait you’re seriously going to go back to work?! What about your hand girl?!’ Her mother asked in a worrisome tone.

‘What about it? It’s fine— Aah!’ She whimpered out as her mom snatched up her hand and pressed her thumb into the wound gently. Even with such a gentle brush over the damaged flesh, it still hurts like hell.

‘Hmph.’ Her mother scoffed with a smirk before letting go of her hand and turning back towards the stove.

‘That’s not funny, mom.’ Cardi mumbled holding her wrist in her free palm, ‘You know the antibiotics only work so fast. Besides, it’s a lot better than it was when I was in the hospital.’

Janice didn’t say anything else, she just stirred at the grits in the pot.

‘Mom, look I need this. Since the fire and the hospital and being stuck here, I have been miserable!’

‘Oh!? I’m making you miserable?!’ Her mother’s head popped up and she turned to fully face her daughter.

‘No. I never said that but you know my job— my career is everything to me. I have to get back out there… see what’s been going on— see what he’s been up to.’

‘Oh Jesus Christ, not him again!’ Janice laughed and threw her hand up and rolled her eyes. She walked over to the sink to gather some water in a cup.

‘What do you mean “not him again”?! He solidified my career! He saved my life!’

‘And had he been there much sooner, you wouldn’t have had to worry about missing work because you would’ve been going! But instead you ended up in the hospital, barely breathing and choking to death because you were doing his job! He risked your life!’

Cardierre rolled her eyes and burst out in hysterical laughter, ‘Wow! You are so cynical! Have you thought for a single second that I went into that building on my own?! I told you this a hundred times! I wasn’t looking for a savior mama. But he did and you should be grateful he did! What would Batman have done?!’

Janice raised a brow as she continued stirring, ‘Don’t bring that fool into this. He ain’t no saint either.’ She paused for a second, ‘Probably would’ve—broken your legs for attempting something so idiotic.’ She snickered.

Cardi’s head fell forward as she tried to hide that laugh but instead, it showed in her bouncing shoulders.

‘Yeah, that guy is a piece of work.’ She sighed out as she pushed her feathery hair out of her face. Cardi then took a step closer to her mother, placing her hand on her arm reassuringly, ‘Look mom. I know you worry for my health. But this is what I want! I’m ready.’

Janice sighed and looked up at her daughter for a long moment, ‘Well you’re grown hell! You can do what you want!’ She said as she brushed her daughter’s shoulders then her chest. ‘I just thought I was doing what was best for ya… that’s all.’ She said softly.

‘I understand but only I know what’s best for me, mama. I flew from the nest years ago, you gotta let me live my life.’

Janice sighed and nodded, ‘I know it. Just— be careful alright? And if you run across that fool in the red cape, tell him I owe him my foot in his ass.’

Cardierre giggled and nodded, ‘I’ll be sure to tell him, ma. I’ll see you and dad later.’ She said as she pressed a kiss against her cheek and scooped her purse up off of the kitchen counter.

***

Cardi had parked in front of the building, gathered her belongings and stepped out of her car. She stared up at the slowly rotating globe with a gentle smile curling on her lips. It felt like years but in reality, it had only been about a month and a half.

‘Ms. Lane!’

She snapped out of her gaze and looked over at the valet, ‘Terrance! Hi!’ She grinned as she shut her door and walked around her car to meet him.

‘Welcome back, Ms. Lane! I heard about the fire and I just want to say you are really brave. I personally wouldn't have done it.’ He chuckled as he placed his hand over his chest.

Cardierre chuckled and placed her keys in his palm as he reached out for them, ‘Well that’s why we’re two different people. Behave out here.’ She said as she walked past him and towards the double glass doors.

‘Yes ma’am!’ He called out.

***

No one expected her to be back so soon. So she found herself laughing at the stunned reactions of her coworkers and members from other departments down in the lobby.

She stood in the elevator, taking a deep breath. She was starting to feel so anxious about being back. Maybe she was afraid that no one missed her. Or she’d been replaced with someone who was more dependable. No, no— Perry wasn’t like that. If he was going to fire her, he would’ve told her already. She knew better than that.

When the elevator dinged and the large metal doors tore apart, Cardierre stepped out into the busy, bustling office. Her ears throbbed at the sound of phones ringing, papers printing, conversations amongst her peers and typing. She left it just like this.

‘H-hey! Look everybody! Cardierre’s back!’ Someone said aloud.

Everyone in the office space had snapped their heads towards the lady in baby blue. Mumbles and whispers filled the room, seconds before everyone stood to their feet and applauded her.

Cardi wasn’t big on attention. Oddly enough with her career choice, she tried to stray away from being the center of it. But now and then, it did feel nice to be recognized for her efforts.

She looked around the room, taking in all the familiar faces and took note of those who called to check up on her and sent her get well soon gifts.

She had given her peers a sweet grin before her wandering eyes landed on Clark who had just stood up and joined in on the celebration. He had this ecstatic grin spread across his lips.

She felt her heart squeeze in her chest, pleased to see his handsome face.

When the clapping had died down, she placed a hand on her chest, ‘Thank you… for the warm welcome back everyone. If only you all knew the things I’ve endured while being away. Recovering wasn’t the hardest part of it all… but my mother is back in town—‘ the room echoed with laughter.

Cardierre chuckled and pushed her hair behind her ear, ‘But on a more serious note, thank you guys so much for not burning this place down and making this my second home to come back to.’

‘Welcome Back Cardii!’ Steve called out before the office clapped once again.

A brighter smile curled on her lips before she looked over to see Clark adjusting his glasses, then running his fingers through his hair. Was he– was he grooming himself?

Clearing her throat, she walked over to her desk where Clark stood. He wore a dark plaid shirt that was tucked into his khaki slacks. The color really brought out the brightness in his ocean blue hues. His sleeves were rolled up his forearms and he donned a dark gray g-shock on his left wrist. What he wore was simple but he filled it out real nice.

‘Hey Cardi, Welcome back!’

‘Thank You, Clark. It feels good to be back.’ She smiled up at him, her big brown orbs studying his features. His skin! He probably had the most perfect skin she’d ever seen! Almost like glass, it was smooth all the way across. Practically like a porcelain doll but so lively. But aside from that, she’d noticed how familiar he was- but she couldn’t exactly pinpoint it.

‘Cardi? Cardi? Cardierre–’ he waved his hand in her face before she had finally blinked her way back to reality.

‘Oh-oh!’

‘Back to Earth now?’ he chuckled as he folded broad arms across his chest.

She chuckled, shaking her head before feeling her face and neck grow warm. She wasn’t exactly the type to be embarrassed about checking someone out but, this was her hot ass coworker. The one who she had caught staring at her a few times before her absence. ‘You good?’ he asked kindly.

‘Yeah, I’m cool. It’s just… I know this is super dumb and maybe it’s all the medication I was taking in the hospital but– Clark have we met before? Y’know like outside of work?’

Clark raised a brow as he cleared his throat, ‘Uh,’ Then he proceeded to rub the back of his neck, ‘What do you mean like–’

‘Like I mean have we interacted or worked together… I just get the feeling that I know you from somewhere or at least, seen you.’

Clark looked down at her as he dropped his hands and shoved them in his pockets.

It grew quiet between the both of them before– ‘Had that been the case Cardierre, you would’ve been hard to forget.’

A smirk curled on Cardi’s lightly glossed lips, ‘And what is that supposed to mean?’

‘It means how could someone possibly forget a smile like yours.’

She laughed and playfully slapped his arm. She allowed her hand to linger there for a moment too long. He was firm beneath his thick plaid long sleeve. She was almost tempted to ask him if he worked out but her attention was stricken by how Perry’s blinds were closed. ‘Where’s Perry?’ she asked, dropping her hand; placing her purse down on her desk.

‘Oh, He had to leave work a little early today. He thinks he got food poisoning.’ Clark gritted his teeth together as he inhaled deeply, then let out a deep breath.

‘Aw no,’ she said in a slight whine, ‘I was hoping to see him today.’ She pulled out her desk chair and sat down, noticing all the “Get Well Soon” trinkets and cards. ‘Aaw,’ she giggled softly and looked up at him for a second before carefully unpinning the card with the tacks.

Clark smiled down at her as he folded his arms over his chest, ‘Mine is on the top. You should look at that one first.’ He seemed a bit more confident than usual.

Cardi looked up at him with a smirk and raised a brow, ‘What are you up to mister?’ she giggled as she gently tugged the light pink ribbon that was wrapped around the card all cute and delicate like.

She then opened up the card and two rectangular cut cards fell in her lap. ‘What’s this?’ She gently placed the card on the desktop and picked up what had appeared to be tickets.

‘Those are tickets to the carnival. I thought it would be a nice welcome back gift… Since you like running into burning buildings – I figured you may enjoy something that would give you an adrenaline rush while being safer.’

Cardierre laughed and spun around in her seat to look up at him, ‘You got jokes huh?’

Clark chuckled and shrugged, ‘Just a few… so,’ he pressed his lips together, ‘What do ya say?’

Her head fell to the side as she crossed a leg over the other, lacing her fingers together and resting them on her knee.

‘You askin’ me on a date?’

Clark was taken back by the question, his whole entire face flushing bright pink at the question. ‘Uh–’

‘You are asking me on a date…’ she smiled up at him.

‘It would be whatever you want it to be… Or," he said, standing up straight. There he was again, scratching the back of his neck and then rubbing his chest in a nervous manner, ‘Maybe you can just take the tickets and go with another frie–’

‘Clark…’ she raised a brow, ‘I told Steve no, on many occasions and on many fun outings…’ she looked away at the word, trying to avoid the term for the moment since it wasn’t official. ‘What kind of person would I be if I told you yes and rejected him all those times?’

Clark glanced off to the side and swallowed his spit. She was right. What was he thinking? She was out of his league! Gorgeous, smart, funny, career driven… he wasn’t her type or –

Cardi laughed out, ‘Oh my gosh, if you could see how you look right now!’

Clark was thrown off by the remark, starting to feel a bit uncomfortable since he felt like she was teasing him.

‘I’m only kidding! Lighten up, man!’ She said as she tried to recover from her giggly state, ‘I would love to go on a carnival date with you.’ Her big humorous grin had softened and eventually faded into a subtle, approving smile. But she never took her eyes off of his face.

He then chuckled and placed his hand over his chest, ‘Well, that’s a relief!’ He said as he adjusted his glasses again, hiding his face. trying his damndest to hide that blush that just burned against his flesh.

She smirked as she spun back around to face her desk and the rest of the cards.

The pair sat in that space in a comfortable silence. Clark just watched her, analyzing. He thought it was cute how when she laughed, she did so with her soul. The sound was delightful to his ears. He’d make her laugh all day if it meant he got to hear it.

Her shoulders would bounce effortlessly, her eyes would shut and her head would fall back carelessly since she just didn’t know what to do with herself.

He liked when a woman could simply let go and be herself; carefree, spontaneous and adventurous.

Perhaps she’d fit perfectly in his complicated world after all.

‘So, you wanna go tonight or—‘

‘I’m down. I kinda—‘ she glanced to the side, ‘Need to get away from my parents for a few hours anyway.’ She sounded annoyed. And that was an understatement. It was nice having her parents around to help her since the fire but now she felt like they were overstaying their welcome. Her mother particularly.

‘Oh. Well at least it’s nice that your parents were around to help. How was your healing?’ He asked a bit concerned, noticing how she balled up her fist as tight as she possibly could.

She let out a whimper so soft, only she and he could hear it. It was itchy. Sore. And sometimes it burned when the wind blew the wrong way.

‘As helpful as they’ve been— they were pretty intolerable.’ She scoffed and shook her head. Then she looked at her balled up fist, ‘It hurts sometimes… too much pressure makes it feel like my skin is cracking but it’s better than what it was.’ She gave him a soft smile.

‘Oh,’ he hissed as she described her healing, ‘I’m sorry— I didn’t mean to pry.’

‘No, it’s fine… I mean— it’s best that the guy who’s taking me on a date tonight,’ she hinted, ‘Gets to know me and how I’m feeling anyway, right?’ She smirked.

An enlarged grin curled up on his handsome face, ‘Well if he’s smart enough he would.’ He chuckled, ‘What time should I come get you? Or… should we just meet there?’

‘I can pick you up.’ She said softly before reaching down beneath her desk and pressing the power button.

Clark was a little taken back by the request, ‘no, no— it’s fine! I’ll come get you.’ He chuckled.

She smiled softly, ‘you sure?’

‘Positive.’

‘OK, well— there’s somewhere I wanna go when we’re done. Is that cool?’ She asked softly with a smile.

‘We can go wherever you’d like.’ He said as he rested his body against the short cubicle wall.

***

‘Whose this boy you’re going out with Cardi?’ A deep voice boomed throughout the condo.

Cardi rolled her eyes as she blended her contour into her cheeks. ‘He’s no boy papa. He is a man,’ she tried to hide the smirk on her lips, ‘a rather, good looking man.’ She murmured.

‘Oh leave that girl alone! When was the last time she went out with a guy?’

Clarence walked into the bathroom, ‘What happened to that handsome fella?! What was his name?’ He pinched and smooth at his salt and peppered beard, looking up as if an answer was going to appear above his head, ‘oh,’ he snapped his fingers, ‘Lee! That’s his name! What happened to Lee!’

Cardierre scoffed and turned around to look at her father, ‘Oh you mean that douchebag that worked under Bruce?!’

‘He was well off!’ He argued back.

‘Pfffft!’ She rolled her eyes as her mother walked in the bathroom.

‘Lee was a selfish prick and I would never go out with him again.’

Janice pressed her lips together and looked over at her husband, ‘She has her mother’s values.’ She shrugged and leaned against the counter, ‘Anyway, who is this guy?’ She asked curiously.

Cardi sighed dreamily as she placed her sponge down on the counter, ‘His name is Clark. He’s so sweet, and funny, and tall, and handsome, and—‘

‘Ugh! OK OK, he’s the whole package.’ Her father interrupted.

She snapped her neck back at her father with this less than amused glare written on her face. Her pretty features, appearing more dramatic than before.

‘Clarence,’ her mother stood up straight and pushed him out of the bathroom, ‘Gone! Gone, GIT! Get out, you ain’t no damn help!’

‘What?! What did I do?!’ He exclaimed.

She slammed the door and locked it. Then she turned around to face her daughter, ‘Unlike your good for nothing papi—‘

Cardierre giggled as she shook her head.

‘I am very happy for you baby. Now, where’d y’all meet?’

‘Well,’ she sighed out, ‘We met a few months ago. He was at the Planet before I was transferred there apparently but he was away…’ she trailed off, ‘But I can’t help but feel like he and I met somewhere before.’ She raised a brow and turned back towards the mirror and applied some setting dust.

‘Hmmm… maybe a passerby? You know your mind is capable of remembering someone you’ve only glanced at.’

‘Yeah…I mean…’ she paused for a second and shrugged, ‘I don’t know. It’s just been 3 years since I’ve been with someone … romantically—‘ she gritted the next word, ‘sexually.’

‘Whoa, whoa— hey I don’t wanna hear about that missy. I’m still ya mama.’ Janice waved her hands in defense.

‘Sorry maaa.’ Cardi trailed off.

Then, the doorbell sounded throughout the condo. ‘He’s here! Oh my god! He’s here! I’m not even done! I’m not even dressed!’ She began to panic! Her heart rammed hard in her rib cage, she began to hyperventilate.

‘Cardi! Cardierre, look!’ Janice grabbed her daughter by her arms, ‘You’re gonna be fine. If he’s anything like you say— he will wait for you.’

Cardi’s full lips trembled, ‘For real? You mean that for real ma?!’

‘Of course sweetie. Lemme go get the door!’

‘OK…’ she said.

***

Clark pressed the blue ring light on the door and stood up straight. He ran his fingers through his hair, pushing the soft feathers out of his face. He then dust off his free hand and held a dozen long stem roses in the other. ‘Alright, Clark. Be cool. It’s cool.’ He cleared his throat before he focused his hearing when he heard footsteps on the other side of the door. That wasn’t Cardierre. Then he remembered…

He gasped.

‘CLAARK!’

Her parents.

Her mother exclaimed and quickly wrapped him up in a hug quicker than he could have imagined. ‘Ooh! Uh—‘ he stood there with his arms open wide, glancing down at the much smaller woman. ‘You must be—‘

‘Janice,’ she pulled away and clasped her hands together happily, ‘Cardierre’s mom! Here are those for her?’

‘Uh huh.’

‘Lemme take those! Wow these are beautiful, Clark. Come on! Come in!’ She grabbed his hand and tugged him inside.

Clark swallowed his spit before scoffing nervously and adjusted his leather coat.

‘Make yourself at home honey!’ She waved her hand about as she searched in the kitchen for a tall vase.

‘Yeah… thank you.’ He then noticed the other heartbeat in the room. It caused him to turn his head to the right. A man, who appeared to be her father, sat in the recliner, rocking back and forward slowly as he smoked on a perfectly polished wooden pipe.

‘Hi sir!’ Clark said as he lifted his hand in a respectful manner.

Clarence just kept rocking with his thick glasses sitting at the tip of his nose. He gave him a gentle jerk of the head as he watched Clark sit down on the sofa across from him.

The space grew eerily quiet. Clark could hear everything at this point. The resting heart rates of the elders in the apartment space, the cars riding on the asphalt several floors down from where they were. But then he heard whispering. Her whispering… he felt at ease for a moment.

It’s alright. It’s only a date. You haven’t been with a man in a few years but you haven’t lost your flare. Maybe if it goes well enough tonight you’ll probably give him some ass… no. No, he’ll probably think you’re a certified slut. Lord, I just hope everything goes smooth tonight… Heaven knows I just want that man to wrap those arms that he so desperately hides from everyone, around me… am I asking for too much?

‘So where y’all headed tonight?’ A deep voice filled the silent void.

The gentle smile Clark had written on his lips had faltered only a bit to focus on her father, ‘Uh, we’re— I'm taking her to the festival. I figured she deserved to have a bit of fun…’ and to get away from you wackos too.

‘Hmph.’

‘Awww,’ her mother cooed as she walked into the living room with a glass of water, ‘How romantic! That was me and Clarence’s first date! He was terrified of roller coasters,’ she giggled aloud as she placed the glass on a coaster in front of him. ‘Poor thing. Do you like that kind of stuff?’

Did he? The man flew around for fun. It was almost second nature to be up in the air. ‘Umm… if you’re asking if I’m afraid of heights, no ma’am I’m not.’ He reached over and wrapped his hand around the glass of water to take a sip.

‘Alright, enough of this small talk shit— are you gonna marry my daughter?!’ Clarence exclaimed, sitting at the edge of his seat.

Clark choked on his water at the sudden outburst.

‘CLARENCE!’

‘It’s a serious question, Janice hush! I’m trying to have a serious conversation with my future son in law— now,’ he turned his attention back to Clark, ‘You gone break my daughter’s heart?’

Clark had just finished recovering from damn near choking to death when he glared at her father, ‘I—I guess! If she wants to marry me, I mean—‘

‘Good answer boy. Good answer.’ Clarence sat back as he took a long drag of his pipe.

Clark then looked at her mother with confusion written in his crystal blue hues.

‘Clark! Are you there?’ Cardi called out from down the hall.

Thank God.

‘Yeah! I’m here!’ He stood up from his spot as he held his glass of water in his hand.

‘OK! I’m coming now!’

Clark took a long, final sip before placing the glass back down on the coaster.

Finally, she emerged from the long hallway. And he was completely mesmerized by her. She wore a gray body con dress that was scrunched up from her thighs to her hips; with two elastic strings tied at her silky smooth thighs. She filled out that dress so nicely; taking up all the room it had to offer.

She donned a silver anklet with a dangling letter “C” on it. And she wore shiny black Tory Burch sandals that brought out the brightness of her White toenail polish. Infatuation wasn’t even the word he’d use for how he felt about her at this moment. Fondness? Adoration.

‘Wow… Cardierre you look—‘ he let out a shudder of a sigh. He never really got to see her outside of lady suits, long skirts and slacks. But he could tell she was much more comfortable in casual clothing than business professional. Which made her all the more gorgeous. ‘Stunning.’

Cardi grinned, her head falling to the side as she clutched her purse strap in her healthy palm, ‘Thanks. Are you ready?’

‘As ready as I’ll ever be.’ He smiled softly.

‘Alright! Well you two have fun now.’ Janice said as she walked over to grab her daughter and practically pushed them towards the front door.

‘Have my daughter home by 9!’ Her father called out.

Clark looked down at his watch and raised a brow, ‘But it’s 9:01?’ It was more of a question than it was a statement.

‘Well have her home by 10!’ Clarence shouted.

Cardierre rolled her eyes as the pair walked out of the door.

‘Oh please. Don’t pay that man any mind, Clark. Y’all come back when ya done. Have a good time babies.’ Her mother said softly, waving her hand happily before she shut the door.

Cardierre let out an embarrassed chuckle before looking up at Clark, ‘Shit. I apologize for my parents. They are…’ she sighed, shaking her head, ‘Overbearing. I hope I didn’t leave you stranded out there like that.’

Clark chuckled and shook his head, ‘It’s alright. I’m not expecting everyone to like me.’ He shrugged, ‘Besides, your father is kind of funny.’ He added as he pushed his thick locs out of his face.

She let out an embarrassed scoff, ‘You think he’s funny now. Give him a while… he’ll annoy you eventually.’ She rolled her eyes.

***

The drive on the way to the carnival was entertaining. It did start out a little awkward since they couldn’t find anything to talk about. So Clark turned on the radio. They sang everything they possibly could under the moon the station could’ve possibly offered.

When they made it to the carnival, Cardi sat in the car until he got out and came to get her door. She thanked him as she placed her hand in his and stepped out of the truck.

Once they made it inside of the carnival, Clark looked down at Cardi who had this look of endearment on her face. She was taking in all of the lights and rides and the games. He was glad he’d chosen to bring her here tonight. ‘So, what do you wanna do first? Wanna catch some rides?’

‘Rides? I never took you to be a roller coaster kind of guy Clark!’ She grinned as they walked side by side.

Clark smirked, ‘Everyone says that. Listen, I may be a nerd but— I know how to have fun too. Come on. Let’s go on that big one over there.’ He grabbed her hand and they walked over to the line hand in hand.

Luckily, the line was short and they were able to get on and experience the tallest rollercoaster at the carnival. With all the loops and sharp turns, Cardi felt like she was going to fall out of that old thing. But the grip that Clark had on her, she just had the blissful feeling of being safe. So when the ride did its second rotation, she was a bit more comfortable now and even found herself screaming and throwing her hands up with her partner.

When they got off that ride, she did her best to stand up straight but her legs grew wobbly. She eventually lost the little balance she had and landed in his arms.

‘Whup!—‘ Clark exclaimed in a bit of a laughing fit as he caught her just in time so she wouldn’t eat the dirt they stood on, ‘You alright?!’

Cardi laughed and stood up straight, ‘I’m good! I just haven’t been on a rollercoaster in ages!’ She cleared her throat and smoothed out her dress. ‘That was so fun.’ She giggled a bit as she looked up at Clark.

Clark looked down at her, his oceanic blue eyes gazing into her pools of honey. He just couldn’t help when he was around her. She was just so pretty. Then he cleared his throat, looking away for a second before he caught a glimpse of a little girl walking past with this big cone of cotton candy.

‘Hey! You down for some cotton candy? I haven’t had any since I was a kid!’

She gazed into his eyes, pressing her full glossy lips together. ‘I’d follow you anywhere… just take the lead.’ Once Cardi realized what she had said, she placed her hand on her chest. That was awfully bold of her.

He then smirked and held his left hand out towards her. Waiting for her to place her hand in his.

She then looked down at his palm; kind of skeptical about this. What if she was just damaged goods? Cardierre wasn’t perfect and had a lot of baggage that hadn't been exactly resolved yet. She was just afraid to scare him away and ruin her chance at a happy life. She knew that Clark was a good man. There was no denying that.

But the other half of her wanted to jump into the deep end! Let go and be completely free with him. He may help heal her in all the right places. But she wouldn’t know, if she didn’t try.

So she smiled up at him and placed her small right hand in his much larger one. And with that, Clark immediately wrapped her hand up in a warm embrace. She braced herself from the searing pain in her palm, but his touch was so gentle— it was almost as if there was no burn there in the first place.

‘Just let me know if it hurts too bad.’ He said softly as they both turned to walk towards the food truck.

‘I will.’

***

The night consisted of them eating a ton of crap that would clog up their arteries. Foot long corn dogs, cotton candy, caramel popcorn, and Fried Oreos. It was a miracle they weren’t hugging the toilets! Between their snack times, they had been on 3 more roller coasters and wreaked havoc with the bumper cars.

‘It’s too bad the Ferris wheel is down! It’s such a gorgeous night!’ Clark said as he wrapped his heavy arm around her shoulders.

‘That’s cool! I have another place in mind though.’ She smiled up at him before looking ahead at the guy trying to lure people in for a game of “Hit The Bell!” He had enormous bears, unicorns, and bananas. Her eyes twinkled at the sight. She wanted one! But before she could say something he spoke up.

‘Hey! Check this out!’ He let go of her hand and walked towards the guy, asking him how much for a game.

‘It’ll be $10 for 3 swings! $18 for 6!’

Little did he know, it would only take one swing.

‘Cool! Let’s do the 3!’ He paid the guy in cash and then took off his leather coat and handed it off to Cardi.

Her eyes slightly grew at the sight before her. Beneath that thick leather coat, he donned a dark blue long sleeved thermal that just hugged his body.

It hugged and outlined his chiseled muscles; defining those curves and cuts. Cardi was flabbergasted!

‘Thank you sir.’ Clark said as the man handed him off the large hammer. Typically, these were heavy, which made the swings a bit tougher. But he lifted it like it was light work.

Cardi held their coats close to her chest, squeezing them as her eyes glassed over with amazement. She was heavily invested.

Clark held the hammer in his fists for a moment before bringing it up and down against the black stump. The black knob quickly flew up and Cardi’s eyes followed it all the way up. When the knob touched the bell, Clark grinned in such a knowing way. Of course he’d win.

‘Alright! Can you do that two more times? Win that pretty lady over there one of these big ole’ teddies!’ The older male said.

‘Too easy.’ Clark shrugged before swinging it once more and again after that.

To say that Cardierre was impressed was an understatement! She was ecstatic! She found herself just smiling out of control.

‘Which one do you want, Cardi?!’ He called out to her.

‘The Unicorn! I want the Unicorn!’ She squealed out happily.

Clark chuckled and gave the gentleman a nod before he watched him grab the metal stick and bring it down from the rack. When the man placed the prize in Clark’s arms, he thanked him and walked over to his date who was dancing happily.

Her tap dancing had stopped and clapped joyfully.

‘Oh it’s so cute! I love it!’

He chuckled before swapping their coats out with the plush pink gift. ‘Yeah. Now, you gotta promise to keep it safe for me.’ He said softly.

She hugged its neck, snuggling the toy with the brightest grin on her lips, ‘I’ll protect it with my life!’ She giggled before they walked off, hand in hand again.

It was now 11:45 pm and they were finally walking out to Clark’s truck. Cardi released her hand from Clark’s and walked to the driver's side. Clark stopped in his tracks, ‘What are you doing missy? I’m supposed to be driving— I’m the gentleman!’

Cardi opened up the back door, throwing the pink unicorn there.

‘Truuue but— I don’t wanna ruin the surprise by giving you the directions,’ she shut the door and stepped to the driver’s door, ‘Just give me the keys and enjoy the ride pretty boy.’ She said as she shot him a wink, stepped on the step and hopped inside of the vehicle.

He chuckled before shaking his head and walking to the other side of the vehicle.

Part II 👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾

[jojosbizarrefanfics]

Reminiscing — Claude von Riegan x Reader 🍋

Fire Emblem brain rot is real & there aren’t enough fics for my faves so I’m here to fix that

Starting off with Claude! 💛

Includes: public sex, oral, glove kink if you squint. fem!reader is a fellow golden deer student & alliance member

The only sound in the library was that of your own footsteps, and even that was barely discernible. But they caught Claude’s attention regardless.

“I’m surprised you can see anything. It’s so dark in here.”

He grinned from his spot at the desk. “My eyes have adjusted. Looking for me?”

You nodded. “I thought I might find you here. You haven’t changed that much, you know.”

“Come on. Take a seat. There’s two chairs, after all, and I’ve missed your company.”

You joined him and pushed your chair closer to him, not bothering to pretend you were there for any other reason than to spend time with him. Claude was receptive to the feeling of your chin on his shoulder, having leaned closer to you as well.

“Whatchya reading?”

“I’m trying to get some clues on… well, everything. Rhea especially. There’s some stuff that just doesn’t add up, but it’s starting to make my eyes go crossed.”

“Sometimes the best thing you can do is take a break, you know.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He sighed in contentment and, out of habit, brought his lips to your temple. He stopped himself before he could kiss you, even though you wished he would, but his lips still ghosted on your skin. “Sorry. Old habits die hard, I guess.”

“Don’t stop on my account,” you said with a wink. “Reminds me of when we’d sneak out here late at night to just cuddle and read.”

Claude laughed and pressed his lips to the spot where they still lingered. Finally, you thought. “Well, my dear, I remember us doing a lot more than just cuddling and reading when we’d show up after dark.”

“Goddess, I’ll never forget when we almost got caught. I thought Seteth was gonna start looking under all the tables.”

“I’m shocked he didn’t. You think anyone else is up this late?”

“I didn’t see anyone on my way here.”

“Noted.” Claude had a twinkle in his eye that I knew all too well. “I’ve really, really missed you. I mean, I know you’ve been there at the round tables your father can’t make and all, but I feel like it’s been years since we’ve had a moment alone like this.”

“I get it. Big man in charge and all.” You playfully nudged his shoulder with your own.

Claude laughed, the breathy type that you’d call a giggle if he wouldn’t fight you on it and that was reserved just for you. “I wish you could be by my side through it all.”

“Who says I couldn’t?”

“I have a lot I have to do. It wouldn’t be fair to a pretty lady like you to keep you waiting.” He poked your nose when he said it.

“Claude, if this is about Almyra—”

“Huh?”

“Oh, come on! You may have been the most clever in our class, but you weren’t the only one with half a brain.” You rose an eyebrow at him. “I haven’t told anyone. But we’ve spent enough time together and you’ve said enough sweet nothings to me that I could put the pieces together.”

“I can’t really lie to you when I’m close enough to kiss you again, so I guess I’ll have to just opt for shutting you up.”

Claude smirked as he brought your lips together, effectively doing as he said he would. His hands left his book entirely, one cupping your face and the other resting on your thigh. It was as if your distance over the last five years never happened and you were picking up right where you left off.

One of your own hands tangled in Claude’s tousled hair as the other gripped for his tunic. His hand on your thigh gripped your flesh in response, and he took his time feeling it between his fingers. It wasn’t long before his tongue pressed past your lips like it had hundreds of times before.

“Have I mentioned how much I’ve missed you?” Claude said against your lips between kisses. You felt like you could hardly catch a breath; once Claude started, he didn’t seem like he was willing to stop. “Five years was way too long.”

“You know, Claude, you always could have just knocked on my door.”

He chuckled. “I’ll keep that in mind for after the war.”

He remembered he wouldn’t be here after the war, but east beyond the mountains, but he pushed the thought aside as he continued to kiss you. He didn’t have to worry about what he’d do with you then; he just had to worry about what he’d do with you right now.

“But since I’ve got you here and now, mind if I get a do-over from five years ago?”

“I remember being pretty happy with your performance.”

“Yeah, but now we don’t have to worry about any interruptions.” His lips moved to your neck as his hand on your thigh crept up until he was at the seam of your undergarments. “What do you say?”

“I won’t stop you.”

“Excellent.”

He moved his hand on your face to your blouse to unbutton it as his lips followed, kissing passionately and slowly down your chest and breasts. You palmed his groin as his finger slipped past the seam of your underwear, tracing your entrance to tease you. He still had his gloves on and the sensation of the leather shot a chill down your spine.

You could feel him beneath his trousers, stiffening as you continued to grasp for him. You moved up for the waistband and pushed your hand beneath it so you could feel his bare skin, running your hand up and down his shaft the way you remembered he liked. This caused Claude to moan against your skin, his breath hot and heavy against your nipple.

“Scoot your chair out a bit for me, will ya?”

You did as he instructed, which allowed for Claude to slip beneath the desk. He parted your legs with his hands and hooked your undergarments with his thumbs to pull them down your legs.

Claude started by kissing up your thighs: open-mouthed, hot, and heavy. Your fingers combed through his hair and gripped when his tongue finally dipped between your legs, mouth enclosed over your clit. He moaned as he tasted you and dove in deeper, eager for more after craving you for the last half a decade.

“Oh, Claude.”

Your sighs encouraged him to keep going, along with your tightening grip on his hair. His fingers dug into your plush thighs as he carried on with his ministrations, refusing to stop until he felt your release. Even when he did, Claude didn’t stop, but only picked up his pace to send you over the edge.

When Claude finally came out for air, some of your cum shined on his lips. He licked them clean as he emerged from beneath the desk.

“As sweet as ever. Want to get on the desk?”

“Right now?”

“It used to be a little fantasy of mine,” Claude said. “Are you up for it?”

“I dunno, Claude,” you said with a smirk on your face and a wink. Your stomach faced the desk and you reached across it to lightly grip the opposite edge. “Maybe if you promise me that you won’t be so distant anymore.”

Claude kicked off his boots as he undid his trousers. He was even harder than he was when you were stroking him. As he placed a hand on your hip and another on your mid-back, you felt his cock slide against your lower lips.

“I promise.” He sealed that promise by pressing your torso down against the desk and by sliding his cock into you.

Claude was slower here than he was with his tongue. He took his time feeling you again, relishing in the way your walls seemed to wrap around him with an easy perfection.

It was like you were made for each other.

He’d definitely be keeping that promise, he thought. It was never his intention, but there you were—whether it be sharing longing glances across a round table or within his grasp at the library desk, you were always there.

Claude filled you with each thrust, retracting only halfway when he’d pull back. He didn’t want to leave you, and you felt so warm and soft beneath him and around him that he felt like his head was spinning. You weren’t much better off as you came around him, your third orgasm of the night making your nerves feel like they were electrified. Your moans spilled out in the form of his name like a prayer.

Perhaps, he thought as his hips slowed and his thrusts deepened, you could share his dream with him after all.

“Wanna swallow me up, sweetheart? You feel so good, but we are in the middle of a war here.”

You chuckled. “Yeah, come on.”

Claude withdrew from you, as much as he didn’t want to. You were quick to turn around and lower to your knees, despite your wobbly legs. Claude exhaled in relief at the feeling of your lips around him. He watched you with an intense look in his dark green eyes; when you looked up at him with his cock in your mouth, it was hard to tell exactly what he was thinking. His hand gripped your hair as he released down your throat, tasting as mildly tangy as you remembered.

Claude helped you up and, with a tenderness he seldom showed, helped button your blouse back up once your undergarments and his trousers were back on. You both took a moment to collect your breaths, doing so between soft, delicate kisses that Claude would place upon your lips.

“Dare I ask you to stay the night with me?”

“What are you scheming now, Reigan?”

“Mm, just how I’m going to make you Queen of Almyra one day.”

You laughed. He felt relieved that you read it as a joke like he intended, but he knew in his heart that he was serious.

“We’re adults now, Claude. I don’t think anyone will throw a fuss if they see us a sharing a bed.”

“Fair enough. So is that a yes?”

You nodded. “I’d like that. We can make up for lost time, if you will.”

“Exactly what I was thinking.” He winked at you and held out his hand. “Shall we?”

As you left the library, you saw a figuring approaching down the hallway.

“Oh, hey Teach!”

“Professor Byleth! What are you doing up so late?”

“Can’t sleep,” Byleth said. “I was just going to grab a book in hopes that it would help. I take it you two couldn’t also?”

“We were just heading to bed after getting some research in. We were hoping to find some clues on Lady Rhea’s whereabouts, but no such luck. Time must have slipped past us.”

Byleth looked you both up and down. While your clothes were straightened out, you were sure your hair was a mess.

“Right. Well, good night, you two.”

“Good night.”

As you and Claude head down the stairs of the monastery, you sighed. “That was close.”

“Talk about perfect timing.”