#well idk if you guys have this complex but i certainly did growing up! i think this is why i gave up drawing

[stinkrascal]

its so cruel that references do in fact work very well..... why did we all collectively convince ourselves that references are "cheating" and youre not allowed to use them back in the day bc thats ruined me as an adult. references are the shit!

[luna-rainbow]

Did you really feel that Walker's story was the most coherent in TFATWS? I thought the ending was very odd, suddenly he's all best buds with Bucky for no apparent reason, but in the last scene with Julia Louis Dreyfus (sorry, I can't remember the character's name) he's being an egotistical *hole again.

Personally I thought only Isaiah had a well written arc, even though it made no sense to create an exhibit in the Smithsonian for a guy who's life would be in danger if anyone knew he was alive (and without even asking his permission.)

IDK. I got the impression that the only story Spellman wanted to tell was Isaiah's, and all the rest including the setup for Thunderbolts, was just stuff he didn't care about but had to do to get a foot in the door of the MCU.

Hmm...I would say Isaiah's story was the most meaningful and certainly of most relevance to Sam's arc, but Isaiah himself didn't have a story arc. The conflict that Isaiah had with the system wasn't resolved (at least not to me), and the compromise he had at the end was brought to him externally by Sam and not through any change he enacted or went through.

Walker, on the other hand, had a very traditional narrative arc, which was so well-constructed compared to all the other characters, to the point it feels like other character interactions revolved around this arc. His story is centered around his need to fit the ideal perfect soldier: this brings about his inferiority complex next to Steve's reputation, his growing aggression when he struggles to meet his goals, then him crossing the line and finally his redemption.

1. Introduction: memorably, Walker's introduction was the first cliff-hanger to end the series. He was introduced on the background of Sam struggling with several internal conflicts: what the place of Captain America in the post-Blip world is, what his place in his home/family is, and what his people's place in America is. Walker's appearance negated the meaning and pain of Sam's choice as well as his struggles...but this turned out not to be the point at all (oh I had such high hopes for the series at episode 1) because why would you use the perfect narrative foil to highlight the protagonist's story arc?

2. Establishment: Immediately on opening episode 2, both sides of Walker were established - the uncertain vulnerable private side that is supposed to draw our sympathy, and the boisterous confident public side which made Bucky baulk. The contrast between these two scenes as well as the reactions of the people involved (Lemar vs Bucky) depicted Walker as a complex person with both good and bad traits.

3. Conflict: Walker's next scene was the big entrance at the end of Sam and Bucky's fight against the Flagsmashers. It will forever irk me that Walker had the heroic entrance in this scene with fanfare, and not, you know the eponymous heroes of the show. This segues into Walker's argument with Sam and Bucky -- but because he had saved them earlier, we are supposed to feel Bucky (particularly) and Sam are being petty towards Walker's well-meaning-but-poorly-worded intentions over the fact he's taken on Steve's mantle.

4. Escalation: there are several points of escalation between Walker and (mainly) Bucky. While Walker's animosity isn't directed against Bucky, per se, Bucky's status as a super soldier comes up several times and is the key to the escalation. Walker drops the line "super soldiers don't exactly have a great track record no offense" as early as the truck scene. He signs Bucky out of therapy because "he's too valuable an asset", only for Bucky to indicate it wasn't appreciated. In Riga, Walker turns away from Sam to ask Bucky if he's going to let Sam walk into a room with super soldiers. Then there's that "this is all very easy for you, all that super soldier serum running through your veins" (honestly, I thought they were setting Walker up to be unlikable - most Bucky fans recoiled at this, because Bucky never had a choice in it - but given how little the writers seemed to know about Bucky's backstory, they probably had no idea how antagonistic this makes Walker sound), until Wakanda's fight where he mutters to himself "they weren't even super soldiers".

5. Climax: From the string of failures and his growing anxiety, Walker's arc peaks with his decision to take the serum, and his subsequent actions where he defaults to a soldier's response in a situation where it was inappropriate.

6. Fall: His fight with Sam and Bucky where he loses the shield is the start of his fall. At his discharge from military, he points out that he's exactly what the military had made him into, which summarises the theme of his story. His fall was inevitable, ironically because he is the perfect soldier - he has a natural aggression but also perfectionism and a need to conform. His fall is hastened by his relationship with the military, who - as they had with Steve - paraded him without providing him with any meaningful support.

7. Resolution: Walker's redemption pivots around him becoming at peace with himself - accepting that he no longer needs to act to please anyone, and that he doesn't need to be the perfect soldier as he is capable of contribution regardless of where he is. His arc is completed by showing that given the freedom, he is capable of choosing the right actions.

I mean...I don't love what he is and what the story says by framing him in a positive light. He is an aggressively White privileged male stereotype, one of those who intrudes into the affairs of multiple minority characters with complete disregard for their boundaries, and thinks because he has good intentions (the whole "I don't want to take Steve's place but I just want his wingman" speech) people should forgive him.

That said, his motivation and characterisation remained consistent, which is more than I can say for Sam or Bucky's arcs. Also notable is that the pacing of his arc is far better done than Sam's or Bucky's, with every episode contributing another piece to his story, while Sam and Bucky had all their conflict dumped in episode 2 and their "turning point" and resolution all done within episode 5.

As for him being buddies with Bucky, I personally thought that was more OOC for Bucky than it was for Walker. Walker wanted Sam and Bucky's approval, and he got it in his redemption arc...hence what I said about other characters revolving around Walker's arc.

[the-lightning-strikes-again]

Yeah the Loki finale was meh/disappointing it doesn’t even feel like a Loki show anymore. I swear you could swap him with another character and the story would barely change.

Hi, anon! I'll put thoughts under a cut since idk who all has seen the Loki show yet.

Tbh, Loki is my favorite character from the MCU. I have waited for YEARS for this character to have an actual spotlight...

And I really wanted to like this show, I really did. Like, I legit wanted to just turn off my brain and enjoy everything?

But yeah, your message resonates with me. There were things I liked about the show, but once I got over the cool CGI and angst and female gaze, it just...feels like Loki got sidelined in his own story? The focus hadn't been about him specifically since episode 1. It instead shifted to Sylvie, who is different enough from Loki that she might as well have been Hawkeye still on his Endgame rampage for justice. And it was Sylvie's problems and Sylvie's motivations that drove the story. Which, you know, were interesting in their own way but not what I was expecting from a Loki show. A lot of scenes were just Sylvie running around and Loki somewhat helplessly following along in a daze that this is what his life has become. He was just ultimately a very passive character in someone else's story...because as the finale clearly showed, his core issues that needed to be worked out weren't in alignment with her own.

So it's sad to me that the show opened up by saying that Loki's destiny was always to function as a dead-end catalyst for other people's character development/journeys. And in the end, that's...exactly what Loki became for all the other characters in this show. ;A; And I'm not sure what they have going on for s2, but I fear he'll just play second-fiddle to Dr. Strange at this point.

I have other issues with the show as well....

___

I felt like they also massively declawed him? Ignoring the comics entirely (where he's even more badass) and looking just at the movies: He survived a Hulk smack-down, could toss humans like they were nothing, could travel between worlds through a variety of means, could already see into people's minds/memories and cast illusions and even change his form, and yet somehow all of this got retconned to make him a less powerful sorcerer compared to his Variants.

I remember this guy being actually dangerous and physically capable, which is why they locked him up. Loki used to have Avenger-level capabilities and strength. But now, he can't hardly fight off a human, and his defense skills are relegated to basic hand-to-hand combat and a dagger. The show even makes fun of his abilities and calls him a pussycat and turns him into a tie-wearing analyst...But I suppose that's in line with the general downgrade of his abilities in recent MCU movies...

___

And if being a sidekick in his own show and having his abilities retconned wasn't enough, I feel like the show failed to convince me that it really understood and is working to grow Loki's character.

The underlying issue that the show calls out as Loki's ultimate weakness is that he's "afraid of being alone," and that this feeds a narcissism complex. But this doesn't really make sense to me? Because he didn't grow up alone or unwanted. He had a mother (Frigga) who loved him deeply and taught him magic. He clearly made it into adulthood believing that Odin was his father, who certainly wasn't absent. He was always on adventures with his brother. He had clearly tried to build a reputation for himself that was differentiated from his brother's (the Silvertongue). This goes against how narcissists don't really have a personality of their own because they just absorb other people's mannerisms to fit in...So like, idk about parsing out the details of narcissism as a clinical diagnosis because I'm not a psychologist, but something feels a little odd here to me? Like, it's more than just...fear of being alone that drives Loki to be destructive? The loneliness is only a symptom??

The problem based off the early movies, providing that I'm not entirely an idiot in listening (which I suppose I could be), was that he was always in Thor's shadow and was never considered an equal, someone worthy of respect despite their differences. Even in the 2009 movie, his peers belittled his title as a Silvertongue and his love for magic. Discovering that he was actually an unwanted frost giant just twisted that knife in deeper and set him on a self-destruct path, once and for all. And it's really interesting to me that throughout this show, people are still constantly trying to establish themselves as alpha over Loki and make jabs about him as worthless and weak. And he's just desperate enough for validation to still try bonding with them the instant anyone tosses a bone of mild curiosity at him.

The fact that he's still positioned as less valuable and less respected than Sylvie, and that even Sylvie herself ultimately usurps equality in their relationship/partnership to enforce her will is just...depressing.

And for all this discussion about Loki changing/redeeming himself, at the end of the day, his perspective hasn't really changed? He still identifies himself as untrustworthy, even though he careens as a desperate lap dog for Mobius' approval and then Sylvie's once she gives him an ounce of attention. He has difficulty with accepting the value of a life, especially in regard to his own life. For example, he was still willing to consider upholding the death of future untold numbers via pruning despite being such a victim himself. And that's not a slam to his worry about a worse alternative, which is probably valid, but it's still weird that he does not believe he could contribute to a powerful resistance group capable of taking out multiple variations of one human man.

It's even weirder that he still seems to be caught in a tailspin regarding "necessary dictatorship," even though Loki is supposed to be a Silvertongue and could have won He Who Remains over as an ally against the other Variants of He Who Remains, thereby dismantling the TVA and freeing the multiverse. But unfortunately, he still can't see beyond two binary roads (mass chaos vs. subjugation). He has totally lost his confidence and identity as a Silvertongue. He can't see an alternative option despite supposedly being a Master Strategist, and that's echoed in how his initial thought to defeat Alioth was to kill it in a very Thor-ish, Asgardian way.

And because he has accepted the show's narrative that he is not capable or worthy of respect for his own unique talents, he openly just..accepts the concept that he's not meant to mean anything to anyone but himself ("I just want you to be okay") or do actually anything meaningful with his abilities. This probably underscores why he is so incapable of using his full powers for a Chaotic Good.

And for one final jab of hopelessness, the show immediately reverses the one (1) other mildly positive relationship he had just started to build via Mobius, solidifying that once again, Loki is not allowed to have friends. Loki is not allowed to have equals. Loki is not allowed to be respected. Which is probably why even when he's surrounded by other people, that's why he still feels alone.

I'm just sort of dead that for all the time the show spent on diagnosing Loki, it never got deep enough to ask why he feels alone.

Conclusion

So idk, the show just kinda depressed me tbh. I don't want to be this critical??? They have really great actors, interesting concepts, and clearly a strong CGI department. Again, not sure I could do better, so I recognize I'm playing armchair critic here. Maybe it'll get better in s2. I really want this show to prove me wrong and move Loki into a level of character development where he can like, actually have purpose in his own title show beyond serving as second-fiddle to other people in other people's self-discovery journeys.

Like please, just let him realize that he can have a positive, meaningful purpose. And that whatever his purpose is, that he is Enough just as he is, and that he can contribute meaningful things to others and be fully worthy of respect. And I think once that clicks with Loki, we'll see him really grow into something phenomenal. Something truly formidable, even if that character doesn't sit on a throne....

It's possible the show could go there? But I'm just a little leery that it's not really a show about Loki....

[rein-ette]

hey hey hey

tell me places in time and space you can picture either arthur and/or francis in that interest you both for their history, politics or general ~aesthetics~

Time for a (long ass) list:

1. My favourite historical period that I read the most on are the two world wars. I especially love discussing/writing/reading about France in World War I and England in World War II. I just think France was high key poppin off in World War I, but it’s subsequent defeat in 1939 and the stereotype that “the French are useless cowards” has tarnished that bravery. The French army and government certainly made mistakes (as did the British, and the Germans), but they also demonstrated an incredible capacity to learn from those mistakes and adapt. They made a lot of hard choices, often based on very limited information, and of course fought tooth and nail for every inch of land. French history in World War I has informed a lot of how I see Francis the character: underneath that flippant attitude, there is a man who is mature, serious, compassionate, and courageous — a man who knows better than anyone the meaning of sacrifice but is still able to carry through decisions and plans that would break the minds, if not the bodies of most. (War is a terrrible, terrible thing, not just for the soldiers but the generals as well, and there are plenty of historical examples of those who could not withstand the terrible grief and terror of making the wrong choices). For anyone interested I highly recommend Barbara Tuchmann's The Guns of August on the first month of the First World War — I’ve found it exceedingly hard to find good histories of French involvement in English but this is one of them.

2. I like cop!Arthur and Francis. I usually don’t dabble that much in nyotalia, but I happen to also like fem Arthur and Francis as cops too. Two badass women in their 30s, trying to balance an increasingly demanding job with their family issues, staving off the loneliness of constantly trying to make it alone, and battling sexism and their own repressed feelings for each other. Mmmmmm yes I could watch a whole tv series on this. It’s hard historically to find moments where Arthur and Francis are truly, wholeheartedly, on the same side so I need the aus for that. Marianne saving too feisty Alice who thinks she can take on three men barehanded, Alice lecturing Marianne afterwards for doing crazy stunts like you’re supposed to be sane one. Oh, and it has to be enemies to lovers, “you speak French like a country bimbo” to “that’s my girlfriend, you punk.” Guys, that���s the shit.

3. I'm so so weak for the Japanese "young master" trope for Arthur. You know, Black Butler style. Cinched suit vests, breakfast in bed with a side of war correspondence, coaches and horses, sword canes and teacups that cost more three men can make their entire lives. Arthur beating people up without a ripped seam in his suit is 👌. Oh, and he needs to have, like, one of those home laboratories that apparently rich men in the 1800s just had in their homes? Cuz back then taxonomy and synthesizing explosives were just hobbies or something. But of course Arthur grows magical plants and stews dubious aphrodisiacs in his lab and greenhouse too, because that man can never be just anything.

4. Speaking of magic, I've always wondered why there isn't more magic!Arthur fics. Not like, Britannia angel, but serious fae-and-flames magic. Maybe it's cuz people feel it gets in the way of history? For me, I prefer a magic realist approach. I think Arthur's always had magic, and that he can express it in a variety of forms (elemental, potions, spells etc) but that he's especially good at manipulating plant life. If anyone's ever seen Princess Mononoke, especially the scene where the Forest God makes flowers grow on the barrel of a gun when they try to shoot him -- that's the kind of magic that I think comes most natural to Arthur. So yeah, in terms of "time and space", I like thinking about Arthur spending time in the fae courts, hunting supernatural beings in the forest, blasting ships to fiery pieces with a combination of his powers and his obsession with chemistry ("real" magic, you might call it). I also think Francis (and Port, Spain, anyone who's known him long enough) does believe in magic, because even if they can't see the faeries you cannot possibly tell me they haven't been on the receiving end of Arthur's spells. It might be a belief tinged with doubt, but Francis believes in God and democracy and the weather report with a tinge of doubt too, so what the hell.

5. Francis is a doctor. He's graduated medical school (multiple times), and specializes in trauma and cardiovascular surgery. This isn't an au to me, it's just a part of my conception of nation Francis. Nations must take interests in things other than politics (how else would they fill 25 lifetimes?) and military matters, and I cannot imagine a more suitable vocation for Francis. He has a fascination with the beautiful, the complex, the morbid, the ephemeral -- and what is more fleeting and intricate and miraculous than the human body? Practicing medicine also satisfies Francis' innate tendency to philosophize and it offers him moral reward, an opportunity to do good and to serve others with no strings attached. Plus Francis already worships humans and the human body in other ways (art, obviously, idk what you're thinking about) so, yes, this is just the perfect job for him and no one can convince me otherwise. I often think about Francis doing shifts at the hospital in his free time, scrubbed in at the OR, listening to his favourite songs and chatting with the nurses as he prepares to operate. War is a merciless revealer of character, but so too I think is medicine, and there's nothing Francis revels in more than being pushed to his limits.

[an-ambivalent]

For Our Friendship [Yandere! Prince! Bakugo Katsuki]

Warning: As this is yandere fiction, this deals behaviours that may be uncomfortable or triggering to read.  Read at your own risk. This work is purely fictional, I do not condone this behaviour irl.

A/N: This is like meant to be yandere from a platonic perspective but idk I think  it can be perceived as romance too so up to you how you interpret it. 

Word Count: 3K 

Friendship 

Katsuki did not live a sheltered life per se. In fact, he was privileged with freedom that many of his status were never granted. Instead of being brought up to be scornful towards those below him in the social status hierarchy, he was encouraged to mingle and interact with children in his age group from all sorts of backgrounds. This was so he would be exposed to different people and their life experiences, learn and grow from them, and become an empathetic ruler who would make decisions that would be best for all of his people and not just a certain demographic. 

Even though his mother was feared for her seldom bursts of her brashness and fiery temperament, inhabitants knew of the kind and caring woman she was underneath her exterior. For that reason, they respected and loved her. The King was just as loved for his compassionate and understanding nature. With two wonderful parents like they were, people often wondered how Katsuki ended up as the way he did. 

It was evident to everyone from his toddler days that Katsuki had something akin to a superiority complex. Granted he used to attack others with insulting jeers and emphasise his own importance above theirs, but no one ever really paused to spare it too much thought. After all, with how his parents was, certainly he would turn out to be a fine young man someday. He would not be a cruel and selfish King like Endeavour from their neighbouring Kingdom. He would be just like his parents, kind and thoughtful, there was nothing to worry about. 

If only everyone had known. 

In his group of friends and friends of friends alike, they would meet at the outpost that was just beside the castle but was never used for anything essential. In the evening, when the days were longer in summer, 5 pm meant the sun still shone heavily and burnt on people’s skin. It was easy to sweat from simply sitting idly. 5 pm was just an hour or so before the temperature transitioned from being hot and icky to the relaxing and soothing evening breeze and the sky being painted with soft pastel shades of pink, purple, and blue. 5 pm was generally when majority of the people’s responsibilities and work hours for the day started to come to an end, and children, like the freaks they were, bustled with energy and excitement to play together. 

Of course, seeing as how Katsuki was the heir to the throne and was going to lead this country one day, it made sense that he was the leader for his friends’ group too. Sometime in the future, they would come to serve him and he was going to be their authority. It only made sense that his lackies established their positions now so they knew where they would stand with him in the future. 

They were going to play KING again because it was Katsuki’s favourite game to play. It was the perfect fit for him. Being the most important and strongest person who killed all the bad guys, saved the pretty princess and remained victorious — it enthralled Katsuki. 

The blond pointed the tip of his toy sword towards the only girl who ever bothered to hang out with them. Little [Name]’s eyebrow started twitching in annoyance before Katsuki had even opened his boisterous mouth. 

“[Name]’s the princess, I’m the king, and the rest of you are the evil goons I’m gonna beat up!” Katsuki exclaimed proudly, puffing out his chest and grinning ear to ear. There were collective sounds of groans and complaints heard throughout the small crowd of children. While they understood that they should do what Katsuki wanted, playing the same game over and over again with the same roles was beginning to become boring. 

[Name] was the first one to speak out. 

“I don’t want to be a princess again. You make me sit out on the action each time. I want to be the evil goon this time! Be the breeder of darkness and cause mayhem!” she claimed excitedly, with a mischievous glint in her eyes. In response, Katsuki’s eye twitched in annoyance and he opened his mouth to respond. However, he did not get the chance to speak because following [Name]’s example, others began to speak out too. 

“Yeah! I don’t want to be the evil goon again, I’m sick of being on the losing side. I want to be the king and be the winner for once!” 

“No I will be the king! I’ll do a better job in fighting than you!” 

“No! I want to be the king!” and so on everyone started to claim. It turned into chaos as one tried to shout over the other, and tried to justify why they would be the best suited for the new role they wanted to play. For the first few moments of the chaos, Katsuki simply watched others make their claims, his eyes shifting back and forth between different people. However, after the claims turned into yelling and they began to become louder with each passing moment, what was happening finally occurred to him: his position of authority and power was being challenged. Not only that, but if someone other than him played the king, then that meant they would be the one who would end up rescuing his [Name]. She was his best friend, only he deserved the honour to protect her. 

Truthfully, no one cared about protecting [Name]; they were simply fighting to be the king because that was the cool position. But that was not how Katsuki perceived it. In his eyes, they were all challenging him because they wanted to replace his self-proclaimed position of [Name]’s best friend. 

Anger boiled in him and he gritted his teeth. He exhaled slowly and while doing so, he  scrunched his nose. This was a clear sign that conveyed he was about to unleash his fury. 

“SHUT UP DAMMIT! I’M going to be the king, no one else!” he bellowed. The loudness of it caused everyone to halt and turn towards Katsuki. By this point, majority knew that an angry Katsuki was not an ideal Katsuki to be around. Slowly but surely, fear began to appear on his ‘friends’ faces and they all started to back away. Katsuki jumped from the empty beer barrel he was standing on and onto the ground, before he glared at them. He was going to go off, however before he could, [Name] stepped up in front of him. 

Momentarily, when her eyes gazed into his, his eyes softened. But they hardened in annoyance again once she spoke. 

“Katsuki you’re being unfair,” she pointed out. Instead of giving her a verbal reply like everyone was expecting, Katsuki growled. Instantly, he grabbed her wrist in a tight grip and dragged her away from everyone else.

Katsuki made them turn into a secluded corner where they would have their privacy, before he cornered [Name] into a wall. Rather than being intimidated by him, [Name] held her stance, although she was frowning. 

“You think I’m unfair?” 

[Name] was about to answer, but Katsuki shook his head. He stepped closer to her and put both his hands beside her head. Feeling uncomfortable with having her personal space invaded, [Name] shrunk into herself. 

“Don’t do that ever again, don’t question me ever again. I’m the only one you will listen to, and who protects you. You’re my friend. No one else’s.” 

Enemies 

It was well known that Katsuki had a fiery temper, and lost his patience easily; and it was also known that when it came to [Name], he was more relectuant in losing his temper, and compared to others, he was more generous and patient with her. But even Katsuki had limits that she should not have crossed. Granted that these limits that Katsuki considered generous would be viewed as toxic and harmful behaviour by an average person’s standard. However, that was not the case for him. In his eyes, he was one of the kindest and sweetest to [Name]. That’s why it really pissed him off when she pushed him past his limits. 

Ironically, it was a beautiful sunny day for the events that had taken place. Gone were the carefree days that consisted of childhood laughter and playing until the sun went down. Now, they were older, and forced to mature through inevitable responsibilities and needing to contribute their own part to the country. In terms of lifestyle and the occupation that fed them, some were more fortunate than others. While her occupation was not the most ideal, [Name] never pondered over it too much because it helped her live a decent life and she did the best she could with it. She always reminded herself that it could always be worse. 

Being a maid at the royal castle was not the worst. Sure, she had to spend most of the hours in her day doing chores and other things she did not like, but it was tolerable. She did not need more, she got enough to support herself and everyone she worked with was nice to be around. She was okay, even if Katsuki did overstep professional boundaries was intolerable, and did not leave her alone like she wanted him to. She reassured herself that she was fine despite her distaste for his overbearing tendencies and how he always bullied others if they ever interrupted ‘[their] time together’. She continuously tried to affirm to herself that her powerlessness against him did not bother her, or the fact that he always tended to pick on one of her closest colleagues in particular. 

She could only be in denial about her issues and avoid dealing with them for so long. 

It was on that one particular sunny day when she found that Katsuki was hovering over her closest friend, Izuku. There was a crowd consisting of other maids, butlers, and common workers of the castle surrounding them. Some even refused to look Katsuki’s way, and others had their mouths hung open in horror. They were left speechless due to the unbelievable gruesome sight that they had seen. 

[Name] had rushed through the crowd  and made her way to the front. She gasped when she saw Izuku lying on the floor with many bruises and wounds covering him, and blood gushing out of him. Right away, her eyes averted to Katsuki who was looking down at Izuku with a bright grin on his face, seemingly looking proud of what he had done. 

“That should teach you to not play the hero and tell me how I should be treating [Name]. Learn your place, and stay away from her. And stop bothering her when she’s spending time with me,” Katsuki went on to proclaim. However, he was not given the chance to speak any further because [Name] had roughly pushed past him and ran towards Izuku’s beaten up body on the floor. She dropped to her knees so she could be closer to Izuku’s eye-level. Then, she started to  rip bits of her apron and began to use those bits to wrap whatever wounds of his that she could. At the sight of his barely conscious form, tears welled up in the corner of her eyes. 

An expression of fury had appeared on Katsuki’s face when [Name] pushed past him, and when he had noticed that it was her, his eyes had softened momentarily. But when he saw that her attention was focused on the dumb good-for-nothing Deku, instead of him like it was meant to, he became prepapred to unleash his wrath. 

He stomped up to her and grabbed her roughly by gripping her upper arm. 

“What the hell are you doing?! I thought I told you stay away from him!” Katsuki snapped.  

Despite the tears in her eyes, [Name] only looked at Katsuki with cold eyes that were etched with revulsion. 

“I’m staying away from you,” [Name] hissed, as she yanked her arm out of his grip. Subsequently to this, she picked up Izuku gently, in order to take him to the infirmary. 

“You disgust me. Don’t come near me or my friends ever again,” she seethed, making Katsuki freeze due to her hurtful words. As a result, he simply watched her carry Deku out of his sight with feelings of betrayal, sorrow, and anger weighing heavily in his heart. 

My sweet 

Approximately, two weeks had passed since [Name] had seen Katsuki beating up Izuku which had resulted in her cutting her ties with him off for good. Although, she had done that, seeing Katsuki was inevitable since she did work at the castle. Fortunately, because her colleagues had witnessed the entire situation with Katsuki, they were understanding of her position and went out of their way to support her. Her superior made sure to give her shifts when they knew Katsuki was preoccupied with his duties and studies. This lessened the chances of him going out of his way to corner her. [Name] was also assigned to work in parts of the castle that were far away from Katsuki as possible, and whenever someone saw him turning a corner, her colleagues made sure to hide her and help her get out of his possible line of sight. 

[Name] was grateful for everything they did for her, and she felt blessed with how thoughtful and brave her colleagues were; rather than leaving her alone out of possible fear from what Katsuki may do to them, they had reunited and chosen to support her. It strengthened their bond; however, surprisingly, their efforts weren't needed. To everyone's surprise, Katsuki had left [Name] alone like she had told him to. While that was something [Name] was thankful for, somewhere in the pit of her stomach, she could not help the inkling feeling that Katsuki was simply biding his time. The Katsuki she knew would never back off so easily. Pondering on such thoughts left her feeling jumpy and on edge. 

Presently, [Name] was mopping the floors of one of the many hallways of the castle when she was approached by one of the butlers, who wore an expression of unease on his face. From the look on his face as he stopped in front of her, [Name] knew whatever he was going to say to her was not going to be good. Her stomach twisted itself in knots due to her rising nerves. 

"[Name], Prince Katsuki requires your presence,” he said, and just after those words were uttered, [Name] felt her heart drop to her stomach. 

“I, I-I’m presently preoccupied with my chores. Can I not see him sometime else?” 

The butler shook his head and gave her a sympathetic look. “I’m afraid not [Name]. He insisted that he needed to see you right away and that if you do not see him he can’t guarantee if Izuku will continue to receive his treatment.” This caused [Name]’s shoulders to tense and instantly she threw her mop on the floor carelessly, and quickly ran towards Katsuki’s room. 

She threw his door open roughly. As she entered his bedroom and her eyes met his ruby ones, Katsuki clicked his tongue in disappointment. 

“Make sure to shut and close the door gentler than how you threw it open,” he remarked sharply, narrowing his eyes. In response, while [Name] did as she was told, she still glared at him. Then, she stomped up to Katsuki until she was right in front of him, and started to roughly poke him in the chest with each word she spoke. 

“What the hell is your problem with me?” 

Katsuki grabbed her by her upper arms before he pulled her right into him. He wrapped his arms around [Name]’s waist tightly as he nuzzled his face into her hair. She tried to pull herself out of his grip, and she was close to succeeding. However, she halted in her movements when she felt Katsuki’s warm breath lingering near her ear, and he spoke the threat that made her freeze. 

“Try to force yourself out of my grip one more time and it would be a shame if your parents were to suddenly lose their jobs,” he threatened. Even though [Name] had physically stopped, it did not mean she had given up entirely. 

“You can’t do that. I know a heartless bastard like you would do that but your parents wouldn’t let you abuse your power like that,” she retaliated. 

“I hate it that you’re right; they wouldn’t let me abuse my power. At least, not without a valid cause. But I think that you and I can both agree that it would be a shame if the essential royal jewels that recently went missing were suddenly found in your parents belongings, don’t you think?” 

[Name]’s shoulders tensed and she snapped her eyes up at Katsuki in disbelief. 

“You wouldn’t.” 

Katsuki smirked. “Wouldn’t I? Do you really want to test me?” 

[Name] gritted her teeth in anger. 

“What the hell do you want Katsuki?" [Name] asked in a murmur. 

Katsuki tsked at her tone of voice in displeasure. 

"All I wanted to do was give my own personal maid a warm welcome and congratulate you for earning that position," he began in a soft whisper, as he tucked a lock of her behind her ear. 

"What?" [Name] asked, feeling utterly baffled. 

Katsuki sighed. 

"You know [Name], when you went to Izuku instead of me and told me you weren't going to bother with me anymore, I must admit it really hurt. But, I was so hurt it made me keep my distance from you. And doing so, gave me time to reflect and think about how I could truly have you all to my myself, even if you wanted nothing to do with me. 

"So I thought, well, why don't I just make you my maid? That way, you will not only get paid more but we can spend as much time as we want together without someone else interrupting us. This way, you'll have to do whatever I tell you to do and I'll have you all to myself."

[darkasagrowl]

Understanding Wesker’s motivations

I’m not claiming to be an expert on character analysis, but I sure as heck am tired of seeing every RE head canon I come across making this guy seem like he does what he does just for laughs, or because he is “just evil”, or emotionally unattached. Like seriously?

Here I list 3 major points about his character. Some are speculation but most of it is based on information that we have been given throughout the games.

Let me know what you think:

1. Emotionally detached - I can't believe people pull this one up on him constantly. We have more than enough evidence that this couldn't be farther from the truth. First of all, we have Birkin as one proof that he can develop and maintain deep and meaningful connections with other people. We can also go back to re6 and argue that maybe he also had a relationship with Jake's mom, but we don't have enough evidence of that (that I'm aware). Ultimately, we can refer to how he lets his anger control him in re5, if nothing else. He might be incredibly intelligent, but he isn't as rational as he likes to make people believe. 

2. Concerned for Alex? - in re5 there is a list of which of the Wesker children are alive, but in rev2 we see a picture of both Alex and Albert together. He seems to be wearing the same clothes from re4, which could mean the picture dates from around the same time. If this is true, maybe this is around the same time that Alex started her own experiments at that island and they lost touch. Wesker could be using that list and info about the children to try and track her down and find out what she's up to, and maybe he himself gave her the uroboros sample she ended up working on.

3. Superiority complex - I argue that he has in fact the opposite. Wesker has an inferiority complex and it is only enhanced further the more he interacts with Chris. I think Wesker is a bit jealous of him, and also, hates that Chris got such an accurate read of him. So this one's a little long:

Wesker has lived his whole life thinking all he had ever accomplished was on him. He believed he was smarter and generally better at everything than everyone else. This boosted his ego from a very young age. He finally discovers that everything he has ever done, everything he had ever thought or discovered or whomever he'd manipulated to get what and to where he wanted could actually not be due to his free will, but because he was being controlled by Spencer and Umbrella and even his existence was, as he put it, "manufactured". He was manufactured to act that way; to think that way - he was manufactured to be this next step in human evolution that he had always thought he was. But he was actually a thing, not an actual person; no better that those experiments he had trifled with his entire life. This realization, I believe, broke him. Just think about it, what would you do if you found out suddenly that your every action or thought might never have been your own; that they might have been imposed on you? Well I certainly know what I would try to do: prove to myself and to whoever is still watching that I can, in fact, make my own decisions; act according to my own free will.

And that's what he did. The whole "God" thing, I think, was him trying to make his actions big, and by big, I mean meaningful. I mean, can you imagine being someone that has been involved in how the world is being shaped, in how different societies are developing solely because of your own advancements and meddling in either science or political relations around the globe (due to selling and enforcing the use of chemical warfare and terrorism)? Can you imagine, after all that, something that would really have an impact in your life and prove to you and everyone around you that you are your own person; that what you are doing, you are doing it of your own accord and, again, free will? I mean, it HAS to be something BIG.

Que Redfield. Like I said before, Chris had Wesker all figured out immediately at the end of re1 (tyrant scene). It's obvious how his laugh affects Wesker. But I believe Wesker is visibly confused by this, and not angered per se. See, I think this is the point in which he has one of his first realizations as "himself" and not as an Umbrella/Spencer project. I think he did think the same thing as Chris: what he was doing, and the way he was acting at that moment, WAS pitiful. But the thing is, although he knew that, he couldn’t understand why. I mean, that was what he had been working on for a long time, and he was finally about to see it in action, but it still felt lacking; and what happened next proves it to him (being stabbed by it meant that thing he was so proud of, so enamored by, wasn't perfect -but he was - so it made no sense to see himself in such a thing; such a “failure” as Chris puts it, or did it?). This started his hatred for Redfield. Before this, we can argue that maybe, during their time together at STARS, their interactions made Wesker see how different his life could have been. Seeing how carefree Chris was in his younger years made him realize how repressed he must have felt when he was his age (and maybe at that time as well), but there isn't much information about this time, except the novels, but I'm not sure about how canon they are, so let's leave this part at that.

Even in re5, when Chris asked if he always takes his ideas from comic book villains, he got it right. I know this one sounds far-fetched, but bear with me here. What if he did? What if the only thing he could think about was to a simpler time in his life, when Umbrella didn't feed him their intentions 24/7? I believe that, when he was a child, his life must have been relatively normal, to a certain extent so he must have had hobbies; things kids like to do growing up. And what is something kids enjoy? Reading comics. I know, this doesn't make much sense, that I'm making this part up or whatever, but we don't know about this part in his life. Maybe, when he found out about his origin and felt the need to reject it, his mind shot back to a simpler time; to when he felt safe and as normal as everyone else. It makes sense to me. But you can disregard this part if you want.

Back to Chris, in re5 we can see more closely how Wesker is jealous of Chris. He's had numerous chances in the past to either let him die or directly kill him, although he always opted for the option of "toying" with him. In re5 this is no different. He could have easily killed Chris (and Sheva) in the first fight they have, but opts to "play" for 7 minutes. The second fight he could have finished the job, but he wanted to make it last and was defeated, which led to him being temporarily weakened and presumably dying at the volcano.

The way he says his name, the way he yells for him; it's always Chris, even though others have thwarted his plans and machinations, Wesker always seems to have Chris in his mind; it doesn't matter who else is around, Chris is always there - it's always him, even when it isn't. It feels as though Wesker wants to prove to either Chris or himself (or maybe both) that he is better than Chris, but always ends up failing.

And ultimately, I think it's because Chris has the life Wesker always wanted to have. This hatred developed from earlier in their lives, to seeing how he has a family that cares enough about him to risk their own lives for him (Claire in both re2 and code Veronica), close friends and a seemingly easy ability to befriend people (something that his cold and controlled demeanor prevents him from, achieving little more than a relationship of authority towards most people *and also, can we talk about his sunglasses? He's been wearing them since before his eyes mutated. Was this on purpose to create even more distance from people and make developing any form of connection impossible?*) and finally, a purpose. Yes, a purpose. He's always had something up his sleeve during his time at Umbrella and after, but their accomplishment was never enough; it never satisfied him. And after speaking with Spencer about his origin, it finally made sense. Those were never his goals. They were the designs of other people whom, at the end of it all, failed; which could also be something that affects him, knowing that, to top it all off, he failed - his existence is summed up to be just a failed experiment.

 Idk man, if that were me, I'd also be poppin' off.

[jimmythejiver]

For the first time in a long time I went to the movies in forever and then to Target. At Target I see some Godiva bars on discount yellow tags and I was ecstatic until I read 70% Cacao, Dark, Salted Caramel and was deflated.

Anyway that's how I felt about seeing The Green Knight. What you thought this was about chocolate?

No see since the pandemic I've been back on my perennial King Arthur kick. I've for a long time since I was a young preteen thought, someday I too will write my own King Arthur epic and it'll be gay, magical, gangster and culty too, but for now I'll make up my own stories for practice and then with every story I got attached too, it got too involved and convoluted to the point that when it came down to actually writing a novel, I threw it all away and made a space opera I only planned in two weeks and wrote in a month. Anyway...so now I've been writing this very gay, magical, gangster and culty take on Final Fantasy XV with my boyfriend and just fell in love with Somnus Lucis Caelum who nobody has any insight about him than to make him the Mordred to Ardyn's Arthur, which is a strange flex, but okay, I thought about what if I wrote a Dark Age prequel about Ardyn and Somnus, but Ardyn becomes king and Somnus his shogun and they play games of seduction and power because I'm twisted like that. Anyway...I was like I'm never going to write this and I have to keep making up characters based on FFXV characters and King Arthur tropes because there's not a lot of stories that take place during the Dark Ages, it's always some Roman Empire story, or High Middle Ages and FFXV gave no room for either society to happen after the fall of Solheim and the rise of King Somnus...so we left with Dark Ages, y'all, the King Arthur comparisons are obvious, but Ardyn is no Arthur and Somnus is no Mordred, Aera is only Guenevere if you make up an affair with Somnus, Gilgamesh is no Bedwyr/Bedivere, but uh...they both amputees and the oldest companions to their respective kings so...I guess. Anyway making an ancestor of Cor Leonis and deciding well he's Owain/Yvain, or am Ignis type as idk Sir Cai/Kay I guess, they both cook, but Cai's more like Seifer Almasy than any FF character... Anyway I'm losing people.

My plan was to just scrap the FFXV prequel, leave my Somnus ideas into Overtime (a gangster and gods story) and just plan an actual King Arthur adaptation. I'd have King Arthur the treasure hunter, leader of a warband turned founder of Camelot who fights giants, giant cats and dogheads, but also fights King Claudas of the Franks and King Aelle of the Saxons and Cerdic a Briton who puts in his lot with the Saxons, etc. It'd been a a glorified turf war, meanwhile Arthur's gotta make alliances with King Pelles, The Fisher King and his strange cult he's founded because, why yes I find the ends justifies the means prophecy of the Holy Grail Quest very culty because Christianity then does not resemble it now. Meanwhile you got the secondary plots of Mordred, Gawain, Lancelot, Percival, Tristam and other's going on because they matter and too many modern King Arthur stories sideline the knights.

So many have always sidelined Mordred as a final boss eldritch abomination in mortal flesh conceived of sin and give him no personality, or complex motives, or even just a relationship with Arthur. I also have noticed the general sidelining of Lancelot, or give him a chad villain upgrade if you must include him at all, and the villainizing of Gawain to the point that you don't even have to have Mordred, or Agravain as a catalyst shit stirrer in court, just slap Gawain's name on Liam Neeson in a top knot and you're good. Mordred can just be a child offscreen until last act...fuck that, while Morgan Le Fay can either be a villainess plotting her cabal through men, or a well-intentioned, ineffectual idiot. Fuck that.

Now Hollywood just be doing King Arthur first acts that suck ass, only for said director to get rewarded failing upwards by giving this same jerk the Aladdin remake. The tonally shitty, crammed in blockbuster mess of a cliche heroe's journey that sucks.

With that background I was excited for The Green Knight. I read an illustrative version as a kid, I read Tolkien's translation as a teenager, I read Simon Armitage's superior, but with liberties taken translation. I was prepped to go knowing that indie, or not they were going to make changes to weave the disjointed poem together. I'm excited that because this movie exists Project Guternberg's finally thrown Jessie Weston's prose rendition up on their website. I'll be reading that at some point when this blows over.

The movie adaptation makes a lot of...choices, many I wouldn't love, but would forgive had their been a payoff. There was none.

The journey was fine, the cinematography was a breath of fresh air after crappy slo mo, glossy action scenes ruined another. Guys, I don't think I want to see a Zack Snyder Excalibur, it'll marginally be better than Guy Ritchie, but that ain't saying anything. Leave Excalibur to the post-Star Wars 80s where it is impeccable for it's time. I liked Green Knight's breathable pacing, it's color palette's in the forests and mountains made up for the muddy grey of every Ridley Scott send up in the castles and villages in every other Dark Ages/Medieval story in the last I don’t know since the shitty 00′s. For all the dark tones when there was blues, greens, yellows or reds, they were vibrant in this movie to contrast the gloom of Britain. The soundtrack was good. This isn't all what makes a movie, but it enhances it so let's get to the story and what I did and didn't like.

Things I Liked: Gawain is still a novice in his career The Costume Dressing Everyone pronounces Gawain's name different. I pronounce it like Gwayne, or Guh Wayne, but here you got Gowen (like Owen), Gowan (like Rowan), or even Garlon who I'm pretty sure is the Fisher King's heir in some versions of that Arthurian story, so uh... The reference to Arthur slaying 960 men with his bare hands (Nennius for the win!) The Waste Land that is implied to be a site of a battle (an important aspect of the Arthurian landscape) The Fox companion No long grisly, drawn out hunting scenes. The Fox lives! No misogynist speeches

Things I'm Mixed: This being a dream, is the magic real? Are the giants? Is the Green Knight a figment of Gawain's imagination from a spell Morgan casted in him to hallucinate? Is Lord and Lady also figments? It's...a way to interpret the poem, but lazy and I don't see why it's got to all fantasy, or all dream...this movie makes it too vague you're stuck picking one camp than to accept it's a fantasy with dream and hallucinatory sequences.

Things I'm Meh: Morgan Le Fay as Gawain's mom. Look I fucking hate Morgause as a character and these two get merged and steal each other's aspects so much at this point the difference is who did they marry, King Urien or King Lot? Both are attributed to being Mordred's mom, Mordred is Gawain's brother...both practice magic depending on certain incarnations, both love and hate Arthur their brother and are in conflict with him. Saint Winifred. I actually liked this sequence, but I don't appreciate her as the tacked on wife in the later dream sequence as like...a contrast between the wife you should marry than the whore next door you don't respect anyway? I don't even know what lesson I'm supposed to get out of the damn dream sequence, or any of it? That Gawain should've married his girlfriend and then he'd be a just ruler? That he shouldn't be king? That he'd never have to make the same heartless, impartial choices? I don't know, he seemed like a king doing king shit because guess what? It never gets easier. Wars will be waged. The world didn't become better because he married the right woman, respected her and lived in obscurity. The world didn't become better because he made her his queen. We certainly don't know the world would be better Gawain had his head chopped off and dead XP They never reveal the Lord and the Green Knight as one and the same because of this shit.

Things I Hated: Arthur withdraws from the challenge because he's old. In poem he takes it on and Gawain takes it so he don't have to and he finds himself more disposable than the king. Gawain only takes the challenge because of arrogance. Arthur and Gawain had no prior personal relationship. I'd not have hated this so much if it wasn't compounded by it cancelling out the first two things. Gawain is portrayed as having no respect for his woman, or any woman, maybe his mother? He has to be pushed by Winifred to regain her head. Gawain is portrayed as arrogant, covetous and ready to pass the buck, or the bare minimum than have any honor or decency. It didn't matter the kid in the wasteland was shithead bandit, the way Gawain acted towards him, when he gets robbed, it almost feels like he deserved it and Gawain doesn't learn a damn lesson. I'll admit him taking the sword to cut his ropes and cutting his hands was a neat sequence, it shows him go from stupid, to almost clever and having will to survive...you know traits he had in the poem, but he stops showing these traits or growing. Basically Gawain has to be dragged kicking and screaming to help people and shows no fortitude when facing temptation, or when showing respect towards others, it's exhausting. You don't make this kind of journey story without character growth. Why are you skipping this? Also is it just me, or is this like when you take Frank Miller Batman and transport him onto a Bill Finger story? This is at best Thomas Malory Gawain (and this is charitable) transported on the earlier Pearl Poet's story. Stop it. It's not tonally correct and goes at odds with the story and the set up characterization you'd need to tell it. Speaking of which, you know how I get through the oof... of Liam Neeson Gawain in Excalibur? By pretending he Agravain instead. Here...I don't even think Gawain could pass as Mordred in spite of his covetous nature, lust and entitlement. Why? because I don't think even Mordred is this dumb to warrant this hubris. Essel being invented as a tacked on love interest just to be shit on utterly and for what? I don't think I have much commentary here as there is no Essel I'm aware of to compare, or stack up. I just notice this trope of like...usually if you include a sex worker in Hollywood she often has a heart of gold, she often has her own sense of values that goes at odds with society, but is more true and less hypocritical than a privileged lady’s. I thought that's what they would've done with the added trope of back at home sweetheart to contrast and pit her against the despicable femme fatale of Lady Bertilak and her adultery and her ladyship...and I'm glad they didn't...but you did nothing with Essel than to shit on her for existing when you made her exist, you know. Lady Bertilak being portrayed as the seductress devil incarnate. Look I know adultery is a touchy taboo, but uh her and Gawain hit it off in the poem, dammit! Her values and his values come to clash, but here it's played off as Gawain is stupid and covetous and Lady Bertilak wants to prove something because...? If my brother's theory that she's a figment of Morgan Le Fay's magic, then I'll take this as a lesson of Gawain is impulsive and covetous and his mom knows it, but he don't want to fuck his mom, but he wants her power, and Morgan wants to teach him a lesson... I guess. Hey we don't have misogynist speeches in this movie, but we'll make sure to have the movie drip with it with no point, or commentary. Pass. Lord guilting, extracting and initiating the same sex kiss and only once. Poem automatically better that Gawain don't have to keep being reminded to keep his part of the bargain and he does it willingly more than once. What he doesn't do is give up his belt...gods how did we get more homophobic as a society that the homoeroticism here is worse? Catholics of the middle ages officially had no issue doing same sex, passionate kissing until it lead to sex. The Ending: The gods damn ending. In the movie as is, Gawain waits to uphold his end of the bargain and get his head chopped off. He imagines, even though we don't get any fuzzy or distortion to indicate this is a dream, but I already knew this was coming, he runs away and comes home, is regarded a hero, he sees his lady, takes her from behind and if you saw Brokeback Mountain (I didn't, but DJ has) you know this is a sign of disrespect to women. He gets her knocked up, pays her off for the kid she wants to keep, he is crowned king, marries the ghostly saint lady he helped retrieve her head earlier from a lake in the movie (this right here is the damn tip off). There's no more dialogue by this point and everything is montaging, so you know by now it's a dream, though nothing is out of focus. He rules as a heartless king, his whore son dies from war he waged, he has a daughter, his wife dies. Gawain then takes off the belt that would've saved his life and his head falls off. This would've been the one good twist, except... In this sequence of events he never had his head cut off so uh... now we back in present day. He decides not to bitch out, Green Knight in a sexy way is like "now off with your head," movie cuts to credits with no resolve...uh what the fuck? What the fuck? This is not good. You wasted the one twist in your dream when idk, you could've...

How I'd fix it: No dream sequence at all. No Incident At Owl Creek twist. Gawain comes home a hero and survivor of this game and ordeal. He wears this belt of shame. He becomes a well-renowned knight, but he bears a shame. One day he goes to take off his belt and his head falls off because he cheated to get this belt and to survive this encounter. There. Done. Improved your high concept movie that couldn't play any of the lessons straight from the damn poem without making everyone an asshole for no reason! Ugh! But nope you had to end it on we don’t know if Gawain lives or dies...because...it's dream magic made from his momma's witchcraft...?

Last Thoughts So then post-credits scene because Marvel because Pirates Of The Caribbean existed. A white girl who looks nothing like Gawain's daughter we see who didn’t pay off, or any child I can remember through this whole movie picks up King Arthur's crown that dream Gawain inherited and puts it on her head. Who is this girl? Are we gonna have an indie equivalent of of the Marvel Movie Universe/Universal Horror Monsters thing with ancient British legends? We gonna get a Life Of Saint Patrick next that crosses over? I don't know. What is this?

[i-write-sometimes-blog]

Desert Flowers (Rey x Reader)

Request: What if when you're born you have a black band around your wrist and when you meet your soulmate it grows into a tattoo up your arm, and one day R happens to bump into Rey. As maybe a kiss at the end??? Idk I got this idea from somewhere else and I think it's so cute!! Love your work, it always makes me smile when I see you've added something! By anon.

Words: 1,973

A/N: This idea was literally so cute! Hope you are having a good day/night. Let me know what you think.

Everyone had a soulmate or so they said, find it was a mission many people had as a lifetime goal, wanting so bad to find that person who would make the black band on their wrist turn into a full arm length tattoo.

Walking through the crowded market you admired the people passing by, hundreds of unknown faces all around under the burning suns of Tatooine. There were people from every corner of the galaxy, selling or buying the things the big market provided, but your gaze focused on the arm of a woman shopping next to you. Your eyes were mesmerized with the complex design that covered her entire arm in an endless looking labyrinth of black ink, a soulmate’s stamp.

“There you are, babe” said a tall man as he wrapped his arms around the woman next you, the same strange ink labyrinth laying on his arm, there was the soulmate.

You smiled and walked away. For a moment your gaze went to your naked arm and the black bracelet like band on your wrist. It had always been there, you were born with it just as the rest of them but it had never change into something and it never really bothered you at all until now.

As you continued your way through the crowd you observed some black bands like yours wondering if one of them would be the one but as they passed by your hopes dropped when nothing happened on your wrist. Maybe this soulmate thing wasn’t for you, there were people who died without finding their soulmate and were buried as they were born, with a black band on their wrist… and you didn’t want to be one of them.

In your childhood you used to imagine the person you were destined to meet someday, imagine their features, their smile. You used to draw on your skin pretending it was your soulmate’s stamp. While you were growing the image of their face faded away with the sandstorms of the planet and you no longer painted things on your arm, just kept living day after day feeling a void within you and hoping it would be filled someday.

Lost in your thoughts you didn’t notice the group of people running towards you, it was until you felt a shoulder bumping into you that you woke up to reality only to met with a pair of concerned hazel eyes.

“Sorry.” said the girl in front of you.

“Rey! We have to go!” you heard a man calling her. She gave you an apologetic smile before she rushed in the direction of the two boys that were waiting for her.

Your confused gaze followed her as she ran, a small droid beeping behind her rolling as fast as it could. Unconsciously you smiled and shook your head as you started walking away but before you could do it you felt something weird in your left hand, a tickle that spread through your whole arm.

Extending it in front of you, you witnessed how the black band on your wrist started to transform into something new. First some black lines left the band moving up slowly becoming stems that climbed your arm tangling with each other as a climbing plant does around a tree. Then you saw small ink figures that suddenly blossomed into delicate flowers.

You had met you soulmate. But who was it?

Looking around the crowded market you hoped to find someone experimenting the same thing you were going through, however the market seemed to be the same as before, nobody even seemed to notice you stood in the middle of the road. Then you finally realized.

“Her.” you muttered. What was her name? You tried to remember. “Rey” you said almost afraid of pronouncing her name. You turned around, she was too far gone.

Doubting for a second you ran towards the girl you had not even formally met but you felt like you knew. Millions of questions formed in your head as you ran through the people, dodging some droid from time to time searching desperately for her face again. It was probably not her, you weren’t sure about it, you needed a proof.

The idea of that girl being your soulmate made you smile, you saw her for a few seconds yet you wished to know more about her, even if she wasn't your soulmate, you wished to see her again.

Then you saw her ready to get into a big starship, something was stopping her, something in her left arm that kept her distracted from her friends telling her to get inside.

"Rey!" it blurted out of you dragging her attention to you. Her eyes followed you until you were closer to her. Finally you stood there looking at her trying to find the right words. She looked as perplexed as you when she laid her eyes on your arm covered in ink flowers.

She had the same design on her arm.

"I- I" you tried to say something, anything but what to say? you couldn't think of anything.

"We have to go!" Said a man stepping outside, he stopped when he spotted you. "Who is her? What's going on?" He asked.

"I- I'm Y/N" you said catching Rey smiling from the corner of your eyes.

Rey went silent for a moment then she raised her arm showing her flowers to her friend who glanced at it with a surprised smile.

"Y/N" Rey said, her voice was soft and gentle as she pronounced your name for the very first time eliciting a wave of warmth over your body. She opened her mouth to speak again but instead you heard another man calling from inside.

“Guys, they’re coming so you better get in!”

Looking over your shoulder you saw figures coming closer that your recognized even though they were far, a group of well known bandits, that was why they wanted to leave the planet so desperately.

Your gaze went back to Rey, she seemed to be as worried as you, both knowing she would have to go.

"Y/N, come with me" she urged to say with a pleading gaze.

"What?"

"Please, come with me" she said. Your mind filled with every kind of questions and emotions. Leaving you home was a thing you never expected, but you also didn't expect to find the person that matched your tattoo, your soulmate. You have just found her and at the same time you were going to lose her.

"I've spent my whole life looking for you, Y/N." She told you as she took your hand, it felt familiar, known and yet unexpected. "I'm not going to lose you now that I found you."

The beat of your heart rushed a bit more with her words. Never felt this kind of warmth inside your chest before, this much affection, this much wanted, this much love. And after a moment you decided maybe this was the right thing to do. Certainly there was nothing left for you there but maybe there was a chance for a future with the woman in front of you.

You gave her a tiny smile.

"I'm not planning on losing you either." You said squeezing her hand softly. She looked at you and for a brief moment you felt complete, finally whole and the time seemed to frozen between the two of you.

"Rey, we seriously have to go!" Screamed the pilot bringing you back to reality.

Without letting go of your hand she guide you inside the big ship, the gates closed behind you and then finally it took off.

*****

It took you some time to fully understand what happened, it just seemed all so surreal for you to travel across the space with her. The simple idea of Rey was like a dream came true.

You started knowing each other though you felt like you already knew her so well , you had more things in common than you imagined.

She told you about the way she lived in that planet that was very similar to yours and all the things she had to do to survive. But she got a bit emotional, almost upset as she told you that since she was a child her only goal was to find her soulmate but never got to find in back on Jakku. She just wanted someone who would understand her, listen her, she wanted to find her place and a family. Someone who would love her, just like you.

"You're the best thing that has happened to me, Y/N." she confessed once, with pure affection on her sweet voice.

"I feel the same way about you, Rey" you told her sincerely feeling that warm sensation in you and your heart in rhythm with hers.

"Never mentioned it before, but I really love our stamp." She giggled and you watched it for a second.

"It is really pretty."you told her.

"It's more than that," she smiled "it's meaningful."

"Elaborate." You giggled.

"Who many time did you see flowers back in Tatooine?"

"Not as much as I would have like to." You said.

"Yes, because of the weather. We both know there are not many flowers in a desert but those that dare to bloom there are strong."

"Just as you, Rey."

"Us, Y/N. We've been through a lot, you and me. Flowers also mean fragility, everyone is fragile somehow. They bloomed so it must mean growth or something. And then… the way the stems entangle with each other…" she shook her head with a smile.

"What is it?" You asked curious "what does it means?"

"Y/N, you ever believed in this soulmate thing? You thought it was possible for you to find it?" She questioned you.

"Well, as a kid was all I wanted. Then I started to doubt it when I grew up and nothing happened. But then there was you." You held her hand. "It's never been more real."

She glanced at you for a time, a soft smile laying on her lips that allowed those lovely little dimples to show.

"You didn't answer my question, Rey. What does it mean?" you rose your voice again.

"The way our paths crossed and that maybe we should stay together. It's silly but I know this flower. It means love, returned love." She said blushing slightly. "It sounds so crazy, I know. "

"It doesn't" You said smiling "it actually makes sense." You told her.

"Really?" She said a bit surprised.

After all this time with her that was all you wished for, you hoped she would feel the same way about you, you wished her to love you just as much as you loved her and her actions told you so.

You leaned close to her, eyes focused on her pale pink lips yearning to finally meet them. A part of you already knowing them. Then you close the small distance between you and pressed your lips on hers making the world around you fade away. You felt her soft lips kissing you back as the void inside you was completely filled. Returned love, Rey was right.

Rey glared at you as the kiss was over, resting her forehead on yours, her pupils were dilated while her mouth was curving into a heartwarming smile. There was no need for words, the sight of her made you felt alive, love, completed.

Everyone had a soulmate or so they said, find it was a mission many people had as a lifetime goal, wanting so bad to find that person who would make the black band on their wrist turn into a full arm length tattoo.

You found yours.

Tagging: @1-800-depressedlesbian

(In case you want to be tagged for specific things or anything I write, just let me know)

[gaylotusthatexists]

By The Sea

Virgil's life may be going downhill, but at least he still has his island and he still has the sea. However, when he meets a certain writer staying in the hotel he works at, it appears that something more important has arrived.

Roman's life seems to be going great, but he knows that soon all that may change. He has travelled to this island, along with this two best friends, to focus on his work, but when he meets a certain guy that he's sure he recognises, how can he focus on anything else?

And with only twelve days on the island together, will they be able to make it work?

Pairings: Prinxiety, Logicality, Remile

Word Count: 24160

This was written for the @ts-storytime, and boi did it take a while so I hope that y'all enjoy this. The full fic has been posted onto my ao3 here. You can read the first chapter below but I’m not planning on posting the rest on Tumblr, unless any of y’all really want me too. 

@justisaisfine made some beautiful pieces of artwork for this fic which you can find here, seriously guys go follow them, their art is amazing.

As far as I'm aware, there isn't anything in this that would be particularly triggering, but if y'all spot anything please let me know and I'll put up a warning. At the very worst there is some negative thinking and crying, but it's mostly fluff honestly. It also contains Deceit, who could be viewed as sympathetic or morally-grey, honestly idk. 

There are some bits that are in Spanish and I would like to apologise in advance for the terrible Spanish, I used Google Translate which I don't really trust but I also don't speak Spanish so y'know. If any of y'all are Spanish-speaking and know a better translation, please let me know, I'd really appreciate it.

Anyway, I think that's all I have to say? Hope y'all enjoy it! I certainly enjoyed writing it, haha

<3

DAY ONE

00:09

The sea shimmered in the moonlight, thousands of stars reflecting off its gentle waves. Pulling his hoodie tighter around his body, the boy exhaled. This was his home, his true home - the sky and the ocean and the island. Sat here by the sea, he could feel the wind brushing past his cheeks and the water washing over his feet. He could have stayed there, in that single moment, forever and ever, and he'd never grow tired of the feeling.

But it was late and he had to get back to the apartment. He couldn't stay out here all night, not when he had to be up so early for work in the morning. Sure, the chances of him actually sleeping were slim, but it was better resting inside that out. And he needed rest to be ready for tomorrow.

Glancing up to the sky for one last look before returning to reality, he saw a flashing light moving across the black. All he could do was sigh. That would be a plane, filled with visitors. People who come to the island to catch sun or whatever they do. People who Virgil would have to deal with for a couple weeks before they exit stage left. People who probably won't even notice that Virgil had a life of his own.

But hey, they're also the people who pay the bills, so could Virgil really complain?

This was his life. He had to deal with idiots like that for a while, but at least he had this. He had his island, and he had the sea.

Virgil stood up and started the journey into his future.

6:00

A blaring alarm jolted Roman out of bed and, for a moment, all he wanted in life was death - not specifically his own.

"Who the hell set an alarm?" he groaned, sitting up and rubbing his forehead. The horrendous sound still rung out through the room, hammering into his skull, until it was finally cut off and Roman was able to breath.

"That would be me," Logan said, casually. He was already out of bed and heading into the bathroom. "We've got to get on if we want to get breakfast."

Roman sighed, closing his eyes again. "Logan. We're on holiday. We're supposed to be relaxing. Not getting up at six am."

Logan poked his head out the door. "The restaurant opens at seven, Roman."

"That doesn't mean we have to be there at seven," Roman argued, lying back down and pulling the sheets over his head.

"If we get there first, we're more likely to receive better food, and as you know, breakfast is the most-"

"Yeah, yeah, most important meal, you say this every day," Roman said. "Can't we just, like, grab a quick brunch later on?"

Logan sighed. "No, Roman. That is not how any of this works." He slammed the door shut.

A few moments, maybe minutes, later, Roman peeked out from under the blankets. "Pat?" he whispered.

No response. Patton must have still been asleep. Of course Patton would be the one who got to sleep through the alarm and the argument.

Roman turned onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. It seemed as though he wouldn't be getting back to sleep anytime soon. All whilst Patton was laid there still sound asleep. That was so, so unfair.

He couldn't really do anything, though. Patton has always been a heavy sleeper, unlike Roman. And he supposed that Logan had a point - getting up early would certainly help with this work, since they hadn't just come here for a vacation. Whilst the promise of sun had been one of the deciding factors, the actual reason that the three boys had travelled to the island was to get away from city life and focus on their work - Logan was studying some science mumbo-jumbo that Roman didn't understand, Patton was hoping to work on his photography, and Roman needed to get this goddamn novel finished. A quiet, whilst kind of touristy, place like that seemed like the best place for them to focus, and in the case of the other two actually added to their work.

That didn't mean Roman was okay with getting up so early, though. Not after he spent God-knows-how-long travelling and then only getting around three hours of sleep. Maybe the next day it would've been fine, but he seriously doubted he would be able to focus at all today.

There was no harm in trying, though. If all else failed, he could always take a nap later on. But for now, he had to focus on his plan. He was in for the adventure of a lifetime, and he wasn't going to waste it.

8:09

Virgil stumbled into the kitchen and grabbed his coffee mug, chugging the entire thing in one go. This morning he would be working on pure caffeine and spite, which perhaps wasn't the best idea when he was supposed to look happy for the 'guests', but if it got him through the day then so be it. Upon realising that his cup was empty, he grabbed the one next to it, not bothering to check who's it was, and chugged that too.

"Remy isn't going to appreciate you drinking his coffee," one of Virgil's roommates said, from the other side of the kitchen.

Virgil put the cup back down and looked over at Emile, who was sat crosslegged on top of the counter sipping his cup of hot chocolate. "What a shame." He began pouring out another cup of coffee.

"Are you doing okay, buddy?" Emile asked, jumping down from the counter and stepping towards him. "'Cause, uh, that's an awful lot of coffee."

"If I don't drink this, I'll end up punching a dude, and then I'll lose my job again. Which I can't afford to do."

Before Virgil could drink a third cup, Emile gently pulled it out of his hand. "Virgil, you're going to end up killing yourself."

"Oh no," Virgil said in monotone, trying to get his coffee back but being unable too as Emile held it out of his reach.

A third person came strutting into the room and snatched the coffee out Emile's hand. "Was Virgil trying to steal my coffee again?" he asked.

Emile smirked. "He did steal your coffee. And then made another one."

Remy faked annoyance. "How dare he."

Virgil just sighed.

"Well," Emile said, "I should get off. I've got a client at ten."

Remy smiled and planted a small kiss on Emile's forehead. "Good luck, Em."

"Ew," Virgil said.

"This is our apartment, I'm allowed to kiss my boyfriend," Remy said, as Emile moved away towards the front door.

"I also live here," Virgil reminded him.

"Only because your poor," Remy countered.

"I make more than you."

"And Emile makes more than both of us combined."

Virgil considered that for a moment. "I mean, yeah, I guess."

"When you get yourself a rich significant other, then you can move out and you won't have to watch us be gay." Before Virgil could reply, Remy left the kitchen.

Shaking his head but allowing a small smile to creep out, Virgil grabbed his backpack and left the apartment.

9:32

"Why are we up so early?" Patton moaned, as the three of them walked out of the hotel.

"We've gone over this, Patton," Logan said. "We have to make the most of our time here."

"We have almost two weeks, Logan, surely we can spare a day to rest," Patton argued.

"You're not allowed to complain," Roman chimed in. "Since, y'know, you got an extra hour of sleep."

"Speaking of," Logan continued, "I set an alarm for a reason. It would be great if, in the future, you both got up at the designated time."

Patton sighed. "Alright, Logan."

Logan smiled. "Thank you for understanding, Patton."

9:35

Virgil glanced at a group of three boys making their way out of the hotel as he made his way in. He could tell they were new arrivals from their pale complexity - and from the fact he hadn't seen them around yet. They might have been on last nights plane. But if that were the case, why were they up so early?

Maybe they were the type to get out and do things. Which was good for Virgil, because that just meant less people to slave after. Although, they did seemed to be the loud type, judging by the fact that he could hear their conversation perfectly, which he did not care for at all. Perhaps they would be a problem later on.

Not that any of that mattered. It wasn't as if any of them would talk to him. Properly, he meant. They weren't going to walk up to him and willingly start a conversation. No one ever did. They would just get what they need off him and then leave him be.

"You're late," someone said, as soon as Virgil stepped foot into the lobby.

He sighed. "My shift doesn't even start until ten." He walked up to the counter and leant his arm on the side, looking up to the person who had spoke, the manager. He was wearing a black and yellow suit, with a waistcoat, a bowler hat and a bowtie - over the top, really, for a less-than-fancy hotel in middle of nowhere. Down one side of his face, he had a scar surrounded by burn marks, from some mysterious tragedy he refused to talk about. Virgil had met him a couple years after said tragedy, and had been somewhat-friends with him for some time. Of course, that didn't mean he wasn't still a harsh boss.

The manager - Declan - smiled. "You're meant to arrive at half nine."

"I know, I know." Virgil shrugged. "But five minutes doesn't hurt."

"Sure," Declan dragged out.

"So, what's the deal?" He leant back. "Who we got this week?"

"Not a lot of visitors," Declan admitted. "Mostly people on business."

"Cool." Virgil breathed out. "I'll go get changed."

"Why don't you ever get changed at home?" Declan wondered.

Virgil shrugged. "You have a changing room here. Might as well make use of it."

"Is it because you don't like walking here in uniform?" Declan guessed, sensing that Virgil was lying.

"You got me." Virgil smiled. "See you in twenty."

"It doesn't take that long to-"

Virgil had already left the room before he could hear Declan finish.

19:26

"Can I take your order?"

Roman looked up at the waiter and all words fled from his mind. The man was perfect. His soft, dyed purple hair swooped in front of his deep brown eyes, which were outlined by a thick layer of black eyeshadow, kind of smudged after the long day. He had dark, smooth skin, but chapped lips, and he looked like a mess, actually, but for some reason Roman was drawn to him and only him. Everything else seemed to fade away. It was just him.

Logan nudged Roman.

Roman continued staring.

The man walked away.

Roman's world came back.

"Roman?"

His head shot to the source of the voice - Patton. "Huh?"

"You alright?" Patton asked.

Roman blinked. "Uh, yeah, I'm fine, why?"

"You didn't speak when he asked for your order," Logan said.

Roman frowned. "I..."

He breathed in. He had never felt that before. Never lost control over his words.

But... maybe that wasn't bad. Maybe something great was about to happen.

He had to see that man again.

CONTINUE READING HERE

[johnnys-so]

I recall you saying you don't know Day6 well enough for an analysis, but what about now? If you can, we'd love one. Thank you!

HEYOOO! 

Umm a lot hasn’t changed on that front but I feel like the distance might be a good thing so I’m going to attach some small mini-analysis after the cut.

sungjin

Bob is literally the most dad friend ever and I think he really takes the cake (though GOT7′s JB comes a close second). He looks so constantly done with all of his members, and yet - probably the one who cleans the kitchen and makes sure to stock up on water/ramyeon/veggies etc.

I feel like he was born to be the hyung, you know? He is the responsible and primary caregiver type. Even though he doesn’t make a big show of it, it seems to be a big part of his personality that he takes care of other people

Also, my god his humour is just.... something commendable, truly. He can’t be funny to save his ass but atleast he keeps trying and i think THATS what so funny about him??? sungjin-ah.... never give up bby

I feel like he’s the least complicated of all members. He doesn’t seem to be the emotionally volatile type and seems very centred in his personality, he also seems oddly like he might have a sister? a younger one (does he? idk, mydays pls let me know). it’s just that other than the protective bear stereotype, he does seem emotionally well-adjusted. Maybe he’s just at that point in life where he can encounter a shitty day or some sort of hardship and look at it straight and say - ok, that’s fucked up. But I guess we gotta just work through it. (in comparison, wonpil would be shrieking through his lungs AND working through it)

in terms of a temper i think he most certainly has one but it takes him a while to get there and i don’t think he’d talk through it AT ALL. maybe cleanliness would be his pet peeve? (im just shooting in the dark here)

to wrap it up, sungjin is the sort of guy (in my opinion at least) who has a strong and steady value system and he’s sort of ok with dealing with the world as long as he has it figured out in his head. He knows who he is, and therefore there is little conflict he brings to the world. If he wasn’t playing in this band, I’d 1000% see him settle for the corporate life and clean9 to 5 job which lets him come back home by 7pm and have some cold beer while watching football and hearing his kids play in the living room

Jae

Aww man this skinny bitch. I feel like the fandom is sleeping on his ‘annoying prankster’ potential because i think  he’d give peeves a run for his money

derives great joy from the misery and anguish of others (probably has Wonpil maniacally laughing in the background)

on a normal day Jae is the sort of person who’s probably going through memes on the phone while everyone’s having a serious conversation about their tour or like their everyday schedules. He has a few things he cares about in life and is okay to take a backseat when it comes to the other shit. As long as he gets what he needs (a possible slytherin mofo?)

But that’s not to say that he’s easygoing or wishywashy about the things that he does care about. Music, matters a lot to him. Even though he’s not academically musically instructed (as young k is) he has spent a whole lot of time and effort into educating himself to the point that it really shows in their albums (i could wax poetry about the complexity of Day6′s music and how its so refreshing in it’s personality of being both goth and peppy i-). So Jae is most certainly determined, goal driven and very intrinsically motivated

Also, very much in his head. If he doesn’t have a strong pisces placement, I’m willing to eat my foot. I feel like while Young K is very intense about his emotions, Jae gets very emotional about the people he surrounds himself with.

With people: not very trusting of everyone. Has a chosen few that he goes to certain things about. Might be the kind of person who distributes his troubles by categories to various confidants. But also, trust is something that is earned with jae. But that is not to say that he won’t get along with other people. He’s cordial and is good in engaging a crowd (as a performer, MC, friend, VJ) but he’s also good at drawing lines and boundaries

the most incredible part of his personality for me has always been his work-ethic and his drive to be better. He’s always challenging himself through his existing skill set, but also pushing himself to learn new things. Sounds like a bloody workaholic to me. 

probably shit at figuring out his own feelings/emotions/attitude about certain things. But always up for being the wise advice-giver to other delinquents (read: jamie)

sarcastic wit to sass everyone for days. probably a loki over thor guy

Kink master extraordinaire. Likes cooking up shit and encourages people to sin.

Young K

emo baby af. But we all knew this so more on that later

The ultimate Onion of a personality. Young K, off the bat, seems like he hides so many layers. Not purposely at all, but simply because he’s unable to communicate the extent of his mental world to the public

one beautiful way he has found to channelise all of his thoughts and ideas about the world is clearly through his music and lyrics. But he’s also extremely creative in other ways (art and fashion). I feel like he’s the sort of person who feels most confident and assured in himself when he’s creating. 

socially, what a mess. I wouldn’t say he has trust issues like Jae does but im pretty sure he’s made some foolish mistakes about choosing friends and not realising how to navigate that friendship (friendships where he has demanded too much or has been demanded too much of??). But otherwise a jovial fool the kind of person who laughs the loudest (and dorkiest) at a dinner with friends

how’s his alcohol intake? I have this super funny intake of a drunk young k trying to write mini love poems for all his friends and sungjin being called to take him home and the call actually begins with “did he try to be poetic again?”

while im trying to paint a picture of him as a jester (because young k also needs to be seen for beyond his emotionality) he’s the kind of guy that would surprise you with how brilliant he is. An actual wisecrack/genius, and very underappreciated. I wouldn’t be surprised if he someday returns to teaching

Right. Emotionality though. If he isn’t some pisces (sun or moon) i will actually yell. He’s the definition of ‘someone who navigates an alternate plane, is open to a world that most people don’t even begin to understand exists’. i feel like speaking to him about abstract concepts - such as the existence of truth, the point of life, the definition of beauty, other existential phenomenon - would be so much fun because he’s have such an interesting and unconventional take on things. I feel like he’s make me humble with the words he has (he already makes me feel so secure with all of his lyrics because i realize, even if the world is shit what a relief that someone like young k exists)

probably would be a guilt-ridden but a wonderfully emotionally supportive boyfriend. Someone who understands your demons all too well and would go the extra mile to provide whatever help he can

1000% has high neuroticism scores that would be cause for concern. someone give him a Beck’s depression inventory right away.

HAHAHAHAH probably the fucking kinkiest mofo, after Jae

Wonpil

An actual baby!!

No ok but wonpil has matured THE most in all of Day6 and i really didn’t realise it until i notice how his expressions have become more closed during airport pics, and his voice has gained a new level of emotionality in live stages, and he’s also a lot more reserved these days on variety shows

still the most extrovert in the group. I just think the fame, the crowd, the possible betrayals as a result of their growing fame and having to be an adult in this tough situation - has gotten to him. But that’s inevitable really. None of us can be protected from the reality of life that leeches away at our innocence

such a vibrant soul. Such a giver. As a friend, he’s literal sunshine. Not much of a protector, but more of an amicable I’ll-always-be-there-for-you sort of person (though im guessing the amount of people he extends this courtesy to nowadays has probably reduced. 

fucking made to be an entertainer. He’s naturally funny and attracts all the energy (and eyes) in the room to himself. A very good mood maker if you will

in terms of neuroticism, I think he’d be more on the depression (from the constant stress workstyle and the increasing loneliness) than an anxious person. I think he probably is a bit volatile in his emotions but that’s because he gets lost in the moment. He’s literally someone who lives in the present far more than he lives in the past (sungjin or young k) or the future (jae)

don’t think he's intrinsically motivated much. Prone to a lot of lazy days, a lot of extreme gaming and just randomnly playing jokes and pranks on people. he’d need some strongly external guidance/deadlines to get his work ethic going

high extraversion and agreeableness, probably low on conscientiousness (especially discpline) but fascinated by aesthetic beauty (openness to experience).

Dowoon

Honest to god i cannot figure him out. I think it’s a case of - im trying to look deeper and harder but the truth is, it’s not even that complicated

underappreciated oppa potential 100000%

still comes through as a dork of a maknae. has zeROhand eye coordination outside of drumming. the kind of kid who breaks the glassware and blames it on his sibling (wonpil) and his parents totally believe him because he could do no wrong (aka sungjin grudginly yells at wonpil, again, about house rules)

just a man dedicated to his drums and his food. if he can play some solid beats, get some work done on the albums, play a nice set on a tour, have some chicken and beer while he is resting, have his hyungs fool around in the green room --> he good bruh

but by no means does that make him a fool (though i do think he’s a bit of a fool sometimes when it comes to picking up social cues about wonpil/jae making fun of him. he lacks the 눈치 you know what i mean)

Also (maybe I just love plot twists) but i think he’d be eerily good at picking up on people feeling sad/depressed/lonely/off in general. He’d be like that guy who just walks into the room and sees you just slinking away on the sofa and he thinks.... nah im just going to give them space and go get myself some food. But literally a few seconds later, he sits by you on the sofa, offers you food, and asks what’s on your mind. The silent supporter kind. Willing to listen, willing to be there for you

i don’t know much about dowoon so im just going to end this with: arms that can lift kids/ crush you in a bear hug/ pin you against a wall and leave bit marks on your neck

sorry if that didn’t cover much. I sort of only know day6 with their music. If im extremely wrong or way off about someone, please reach out and correct me!!

[thaumaturtles]

Epilogue Thoughts

So, I finished the epilogues at around 11 AM on 4/21 and spent the better part of today mulling over it internally. Overall, I think I liked ‘em. Don’t get me wrong, they were brutal and tragic and ripped my heart out, but this is my garbage and I’m allowed to enjoy it. I was planning on liveblogging the epilogues but constantly pausing to jot down my feelings detracted from the overall experience. This is probably gonna be pretty scattershot, since I have neither the ability nor the desire to order my thoughts properly. Now, without any further preamble, let’s get into it.

Jane

 A lot of people said they didn’t like the treatment of Jane in the epilogues, and, fair enough, she was pretty awful and Crocker stans have every right to be pissed. But to anyone saying it came out of left field or didn’t make sense, I’d have to disagree (for the most part). Jane was brainwashed by the Condesce for the first 16 years of her life, and we see the effects of this when she goes Crockertier. She’d almost certainly have baked-in presumptions about how trolls were “meant to be” (ie super violent) even before she was consciously aware that trolls as a race existed. Jane was also always really in denial about having been brainwashed by the Condesce and I can definitely see adult Jane flat-out refusing to do any self-analysis and just assume there are no remaining effects of the brainwashing and she’s “totally cured” now or whatever. Jane’s also not super progressive? Like the conversation where she discovers Dirk has a crush on Jake and that Jake might even reciprocate was pretty uncomfortable to experience, and she starts a business on Earth C even though there’s no real need for corporations in a world with infinite resources. This shows that she’s still stuck in the belief that capitalism is inherently good/necessary for no reason other than “it’s what i grew up with.” All in all I could totally see Jane as someone who’d grow up to become xenophobic and have this colonizer mentality of “I have to regulate the Other because they’re not capable of functioning without me”

As for the non-consensual/rapey stuff... I’m actually not gonna touch that shit with a six-foot pole. The narrative is very explicit in the fact that Jane is an abusive partner and what she’s doing Is Bad, but like if she’s your favourite character you probably aren’t going to be all gung ho about seeing her do all the things that she did, which were admittedly very upsetting to read. I completely understand if you couldn’t read past those parts because they were pretty rough.

The Epilogues do get pretty unpleasant to read though :/

The Epilogues are highly antagonistic towards Homestuck’s readers. This is a fact. Whether this is a good or bad thing is up to interpretation, but it is at the very least not a new thing. Listen to Kate Mitchell of the Perfectly Generic Podcast and YouTuber OptimisticDuelist for more in-depth analysis than I could possibly provide on this, but one of Lord English’s greatest weapons is his ability to get people not to care about Homestuck, or even better, to revile it. That’s what the aspect of Rage represents: Plot Contrivance. As Karkat says,

THERE ARE OUTCOMES THAT ARE EVEN WORSE THAN THE COMPLETE ANNIHILATION OF EXISTENCE ITSELF. FORCES MORE DAMAGING TO THE INTEGRITY OF REALITY THAN THOSE CAPABLE OF TURNING IMAGINATION INTO PURE VOID. THEY ARE FORCES WHICH IF HANDLED RECKLESSLY WILL NULLIFY THE BASIC ABILITY OF INTELLIGENT BEINGS IN ALL REAL AND HYPOTHETICAL PLANES OF EXISTENCE TO GIVE A SHIT.

This is repeated, by Hussie himself no less, later on during his smug self-insert, found here. After Hussie dies and loses control of the narrative, LE is free to try his hardest to get you, the reader, not to give a shit. Rose, in the Epilogue’s Prologue, says that if people stop caring about Homestuck, reality as they know it will break apart, which is exactly in line with LE’s plans. So the fact that the Epilogues are very hostile towards the reader is basically par for the course. That said, I can see how it kinda sounds like I’m being all “oh it’s SUPPOSED to be shitty you wouldn’t underSTAND,” but that’s. literally what’s happening. and there’s evidence for it in the text.

Of course, in the past, when the narrative would pull things like this it would be under the guise of, say, Homosuck, which is very obviously meant to be bad and is presented in a fun, satirical way. The Epilogues, on the other hand, are downright upsetting. They’re presented in a much grittier light, which can obfuscate to what degree it’s Actually A Joke, if it even is a joke in any capacity. The fact that they’re tragic, though, should not be seen as evidence that they’re bad.

Some stuff I Liked

Both routes had some really top-notch interactions in them. A lot of folks seem to be overlooking how genuinely good the writing was. I said the phrase, “they’ve still got it” ALOUD to myself once or twice because the dialogue really did have that good ole Homestuck Charm. The Dave/Karkat/Jade interactions early on in Candy (before everything went to shit) were pretty great, as was basically everything that came out of English’s mouth. I dunno who the Antiquities Consultant was, but they did an excellent job at mirroring Jake’s usual speech pattern. I find that a lot of people, when writing Jake, just kinda throw in as many random old-timey words as possible and as a result it feels kinda disjointed, but the writing team for the epilogues managed to make him feel very... would light be a good way to put it? Sort of airheaded I guess. Just very goofy idk

We got to see Rosemary and they were married and raised a kid and it was the best! Rose was really well-written, as was Kanaya; I really loved seeing those personalities balance each other out again. It was nice to see them be good parents in the Candy-verse. The Vriska they raised was such a fucking scamp too! It was nice to see a Vriska who had a positive home environment but still had that same spunk

Also, Dave. Just, all of Dave. He was really solidly written throughout the whole thing. I fucking love his interest in the economy holy shit. I got to hear Dave Strider say the phrase  “neoliberal austerity measures.” That’s the best. “Economically Aware Anti-capitalist Dave” is rivaled only by “Karkat (True Leftism)”. I’ve seen a few complaints that Dave’s interest in the economy was also OOC, but for one thing he’s an adult and can cultivate new interests if he likes, and for another Dave is a pretty clever kid, and very numerically-minded. (Is that a term? I mean he’s good at maths and such). Don’t forget, not only did he manage to accumulate all the wealth on LOCAH in the span of three days by taking over their stock markets, but he also used the hash map modus in his day to day life, showing that he was able to do calculations in his head as quick as breathing. As shown here, the hash map modus is pretty complex and requires you to come up with a word that has the same value as the thing you wanna use in order to use it. That’s not easy to do on a dime and yet he uses it in his rooftop battles with Bro. All of this is to say, he’d certainly learn to be very good at economics if he wasn’t already. It just suits him.

Oh and I also love that Dave still makes SBaHJ and Karkat has a bunch of sockpuppet accounts he uses to defend Dave’s honour. it’s very cute.

Karkat also had some lines in the epilogues damn. I hadn’t realized how starved I was of VantasRage until I read a few of his rants. Also we finally got to see Badass Rebel Leader Karkat and he’s just as great as we all knew he’d be

The davekat kiss in Meat was great too. It was very gratifying to see after all the narrative cockblocking that went down in Candy.

John realizing in the Candy universe that he isn’t responsible for everything and that they’re all still just people with their own autonomy was good. Much as I have problems with the Candy universe on a whole I liked this specifically.

Also, roxygen! I love roxy/callie as much as the next guy but John and Roxy were very cute near the end of the comic and I liked seeing them grow up and have a kid. John names his son after the guy from Night Court because he’s a massive dweeb. Love it.

We got some great Terezi writing as well. The johnrezi at the end of Meat was nicely written and made me feel a whole host of emotions despite me not even having shipped them that hard beforehand.

OH MY GOD THE OBAMA SHIT. I almost forgot to put this in because I was focused on other stuff but my word the whole Obama Situation was beautiful I loved every second of it. It was so over-the-top in the best way and it simultaneously carried airs of being So Serious And Important To The Narrative and being just the dumbest load of crap. I loved it so much

Also, I was very happy with Roxy and Callie coming out. Roxy talking about how he’d already come out as dating an alien with a green skull for a head and how it felt like maybe he was being “selfish” by also wanting to come out as trans was a great illustration of something that already-out LGB people often feel when realizing they don’t identify with their assigned gender. Additionally, Calliope coming to terms with the fact that they don’t have to identify as female just to further differentiate themselves from Caliborn was great. It really helped to show how far they’d come from just being Caliborn’s foil into being their own person. However, this leads into:

Some stuff I didn’t like

Speaking of Roxy and Callie’s transition, Dirk also came out. As a transphobe. Which was disappointing, to say the least. He made a point of misgendering Roxy as often as possible and was pretty dismissive towards NB people when he learned about Calliope’s identity. (You could make an argument that Dirk is being thoughtless by misgendering Roxy and not intentionally malicious, but I don’t see Dirk as the kind of guy who slips up very often. He’s very careful with language.) I always headcanoned Dirk as trans, as I’m sure most people did, so having him just up and become transphobic was kind of the worst. I intend to talk about Epilogue!Dirk a lot more in a later post but yeah. Not a fan.

EDIT: I’ve thought about the Dirk thing a little more and he does eventually start calling Roxy by the correct pronouns, albeit in kind of a “see see look at how openminded im being youre such a manly dudely stud bro” way. Dirk’s initial discomfort with Roxy and Callie’s identity more comes from his own egotistical belief that he should have already known about it than it does from genuine animosity. That aside, he does still say “She probably would have loved being a “they” when she was a teen,” which sorta rubs me the wrong way. I might just be being oversensitive though.

Also, in the Meat universe, Rose and Kanaya split up! I’m very upset about that. Ultimate Power be damned, I want happy, married lesbians! It sucks that we either have Rosemary OR Davekat but not both

On the topic of davekat, Jade really got done dirty by both Epilogues, huh? She was used as a narrative device in one and was an intrusive presence in the lives of Dave and Karkat in the other. TBH I was never a fan of davekatjade for a lot of reasons but I would have preferred they be in a happy poly relationship than what actually happened in Candy.

Actually, the only two polyamorous relationships in the Epilogues both turned out awfully. I doubt any of the writing staff had anything against poly people; I’m sure it was just a coincidence but either way it’s pretty unfortunate. I have a bit to say about this but this is running too long as is.

Gamzee

Fucking Gamzee.

Unanswered Questions

Will there be any further updates? I sure hope there will, because the ending was not very satisfying and creates more questions than it answers. I can sort of see where it might be going but they left way too much up in the air and it feels very much like it’s unfinished. V has referred to it as “the whole thing” on twitter, so it might be finished for good, but i really hope it isn’t

Why did Rose say the session they’re creating will be the most important session of SBURB ever played? Why couldn’t they play it on Earth C? Surely Earth C’s inhabitants would be more used to seeing alien life forms and would know the basics of SBURB, thus making it more likely for them to survive it. Why go to the trouble of seeding a whole new planet? I’m curious.

Can a character be said to be “Out Of Character” if the character’s own creator wrote those actions? What if they passed on the actual writing to someone else but still had to verify it themselves? What does OOC even mean? Does it mean “this doesn’t fit my headcanon” or “there is no evidence for this” or “the author wouldn’t write them like this”? If it’s the last one, can an author merely saying “this interpretation is correct” absolve ANY action from being deemed OOC? I like that I’m being made to think about this kind of thing now

To what degree is each universe truly “Canon”? I’m aware that Candy lost its canon-ness when John decided not to fight LE, but the two universes are intrinsically linked: we see characters from one universe travel to another and it’s implied that Terezi has spoken to both Johns. How canon is Meat, even? Are either of them even still bound by the need to be part of the Alpha Timeline anymore, since Lord English has been created? What does anything mean?

Final Musings

I understand completely if you don’t like the epilogues. Maybe you think they’re too dark. Maybe you just don’t agree with portrayals of the characters. Maybe you hate that they gave jade a fucking tail when she never had one in the main comic. There certainly were bits of it that I wasn’t a fan of, but there are also parts I really wanna go draw fanart of right now. I like the Epilogues, but if I write fanfic or make dumb joke posts about Earth C, I’m probably gonna ignore large swaths of it (such as, I’ll probably keep both John and Dirk alive, and make them kiss a lot)

There has been a great deal of vitriol directed specifically at Hussie about the epilogues despite the fact that other people worked on them. It’s difficult to take these criticisms in good faith when so many people are blaming solely Hussie. I’m aware that he had total control over actual plot elements and wrote a bit of dialogue, but the bulk of the actual text was written by V. Another thing I’ve noticed is that people’s attitudes towards the epilogues are very much like the general attitude towards Act 7 when it first came out. I’ll admit, I left the Homestuck fandom in like 2014 and didn’t return until mid-2017, but people’s Jimmies were definitely still Rustled even then. There was a general atmosphere of “I hate Hussie, and you should too! The ending was bad and no one asked for it!” but as time went on, and people started analyzing the ending and making meta posts about it, everyone sort of grew acclimated to the ending. Suddenly, the general consensus was that Homestuck was Good Again Finally and the ending was Amazing and The Fandom Loved It. I feel like maybe that sort of thing’s gonna happen again with the Epilogues. I really hope that, as it continues to update (if it does), everyone will sort of chill out about it

[calliecat93]

ST: The Next Generation S4 Watchthrough Episodes 2-5

Family: I fully expected the episode after the whole Borg thing would just be another typical episode that maybe brought it up, but otherwise be business as usual. Thank God that they didn’t go that route. This was the follow-up needed, a calmer, more introspective episode. No aliens. No politics or social issues. No heavy action. Just a cool-down, character-driven episode to let the audience breathe and allow character development. Picard of course is the big plot, going back to France (is this a joke because Patrick Stewart is British?) to reconnect with his family and deal with the trauma of the Borg assimilation. Robert is kind of an ass… but he does care about Picard and does ultimately help him open up about the trauma. Seriously, Patrick Stewart’s acting in that scene? 100% perfect. I like his sister-in-law and nephew as well and I liked finally seeing Earth outside a Starfleet base/an area not technologically advanced. We also met Worf’s adopted parents! While they’re a little much, they clearly love Worf, did their best to adjust in properly raising a Klingon child, and I’m just glad to see some actual competent/caring parents in something. Crusher and Wesley’s plot isn’t much… but not gonna lie, if my mom hadn’t been in the room I’d have likely cried. Wesley watching the hologram of his deceased dad… while Wil Wheaton’s acting was a little underwhelming… yeah God that hit far too close. My dad died three years ago and I still get choked up about it sometimes. And when Crusher was going through Jack’s belongings and picking up his uniform? Just… damn. I’m so glad to see an episode that just… lets the characters develop and grow without having to add a whole bunch of melodrama or an over-complicated plot or anything like that. It’s about family, and it was freakin’ perfect. 5/5.

Brothers: Well… I should have seen this coming eventually. Lore is back folks. Oh but it’s not just him. After three seasons, we finally meet the infamous Dr. Soong. Guess this is why Data wasn’t in the last episode, his family issues needed one all their own. So first… Brent Spiner deserves every freakin’ acting Emmy ever because he played all three of these characters. Yep, all three at the same time in the same episode. And he plays all three with great distinction and character and… the man is freakin’ good. The whole episode was just… damn. The first half where Data essentially hijacks everything.. yeah if Data ever went evil, everyone would be screwed. That was legit horrifying… though why they left Data alone on the bridge when something was clearly wrong with him I’ll never know. As for Dr. Soong himself… I’m not sure how to feel about him. Oh as a character he’s great. Brent Spiner really put a lot into him. I’m just not sure whether to call him out or feel bad for him… but maybe that’s part of the point. And Lore? Well… while he’s certainly evil… I actually felt bad for him? I can’t blame him for being angry and resentful because… yeah him being deactivated/disassembled while Data got to live out a life and shown clear favoritism is very understandable. He truly feels like the angry older brother whole Data is the younger, more inquisitive brother not quite sure what to think. Soong does seem to regret decommissioning Lore, especially now that he’s dying (which Lore’s actual emotional reaction… it was possibly an act but IDT it was, again excellent work by Brent Spiner), and it does feel like he summoned the two (even if Lore was unintentional since he didn’t know he’d been reassembled) to make some form of amends, but IDK if it’s legit regret or some form of ego. It really feels open to interpretation or perhaps a mix of both. Despite that, Soong being killed by Lore who escapes with the emotion chip not designed for him implanted to wreak havoc again in the future… yeah him accepting that it’s over and his and Data’s goodbye with Data calling him ‘father’… again, just perfect. This whole episode was perfect, Event the subplot with the two kids was done well and served as a good parallel to the Data and Lore situation. Those two were able to forgive… but I don’t think it will be that simple for Data. I’m still hoping that Data gets happy things later (WHEN DOES HE GET HIS KITTY?! I WANT HIM TO GET HIS KITY!), but still a fantastic episode. 5/5.

Suddenly Human: So in this episode, we have a human boy who was raised by an alien culture known as the Talarians. Due to being raised among them, he acts and views himself as a Talarian moreso than he does a human. Well… that’s certainly an interesting episode topic. It’s kind of like with Worf, a Klingon, having been raised by humans, albeit they did try to keep his Klingon heritage intact as much as they could. I think that this may be the first tme we’ve had a human being raised in an alien culture? Spock may have kinda counted, but he was half-Vulcan, half-human, and still had both parents so that’s still a different situation compared to someone born and raised human until his parents died and was taken into the very group that caused their deaths. I guess the title character in Charlie X back during TOS may have also counted, which I do get similar vibes from especially the whole ‘captain super awkwardly stepping up as a father figure against his will’ part… albeit I feel more sympathetic towards Jono than Charlie who went thoroughly power-mad, plus Charlie very clearly didn’t want to go back to the aliens. Jono just wants to go home. Honestly… IDK how to feel about the situation. I get wanting to have Jono connect to his human roots and being concerned about him being among the Talarians who have a… rather ruthless, very patriarchal lifestyle. However, the man who took him in does genuinely love him and it does seem like he’s been accepted into their world and he’s content with that. It’s where I get the crew’s concerns and while a little too excessive Crusher’s concern about Stockholm Syndrome does make sense somewhat… but I’m also like ‘this is his choice, if that is what he wishes then grant it to him.” . Trying to make him get in touch with his roots as though they know what’ best for him when they absolutely don’t, no matter how well-intentioned… yeah don’t agree with that. Even if he has remaining family on Earth, then as sad as it is, he gets to make that choice for his life no matter what the consequences may be. IDK is they intended to bring up the moral complexity of these kinds of situations because there are solid arguments that you can make for all sides here, but I do think it’s there and is very much a relevant topic in today’s world. I’m very much on the ‘make the choice for yourself and allow one to make that choice’ opinion. Allow them to learn about their heritage and the truth about how they ended up where they did, and let them decide what they’d like for themselves/how they’d like to lead their lives. Ultimately that’s what Jono did. He understands what happened and he finally expresses missing his parents and the trauma he endured due to it… but he also chose to remain with his adopted father and those who raised him, but maybe now more open in getting in touch with his Earth/human heritage. IDK if it was the right or wrong choice, but it was his choice. 4/5.

Remember Me: 🎶Though I have to say goodbye. Remember me, don't let it make you cry.🎶 Sorry, the Disney/Pixar nerd in me required me to do that XD Okay in all seriousness... guys they did it! They made an episode centering on a female character (Dr. Crusher) aND IT WAS ACTUALLY GOOD! So we have huge chunks of the crew disappearing and everyone’s memories of them wiped… except for Dr. Crusher. So… I won’t go into the plot twist here. Like with The Survivors it is really something I’d rather not spoil. But damn, I already liked Dr. Crusher… but this made me love her. The poor woman keeps questioning her sanity because of all the disappearances/memory gaps. To everyone else, nothing is out of place. To her? Everything is breaking down. I do like that the crew does listen to her and take her fears seriously. No one questions her going insane, Troi even telling her that if she thinks that something is wrong, then she’s acting as she should. Even when it’s only Crusher and Picard, despite clearly getting tired of it… Picard still listens to her and trusts her word. With how in both this and TNG they sometimes have dropped in common sense, it’s just so nice to see them treat this situation seriously and carefully and not act like Crusher is just a hysterical woman. Which she is not. While she understandably is freaked out and upset, she acts competently and intelligently especially when it’s only her left. Again, without spoiling anything, the way she gets out of it shows just how freakin’ awesome she is. Just an overall really good episode and Thank God that Dr. Crusher finally got the focus that she deserved. Sorry Pulaski, but them ditching you was worth it for this~! 4.5/5.

Wow we are off to an excellent start! Brothers may be my favorite episode in the whole show thus far. Much more to go, so hopefully the quality remains consistent. We shall see~!

[themanicgalaxy]

SPN 2X3 Bloodlust

Look I know Sam gets addicted to blood somewhere, is it here? or is that set up here?

I have said it every episode thus now, but the licensed fmv’s they’re making the previously ons are giving me such a good experience

FUN TIMES YALL OK LET’S GET ONTO THE ANGST OF THE DEAD DAD OR SOMETHING

ah lovely a Woman you know that means she's dead

OH MOTHERFUCKER SHE JUST GOT DECAPITATED

FUCKING YEAH BACK IN BLACK

O H M Y GOD THE SEROTONIN FROM HEARING THIS SONG

I’M LITERALLY FUCKING TEARING UP

NOPE I’M REWINDING IT I WANNA HEAR IT AGAIN

I do not much care for the zoom in on the car because I don’t care about cars but HOLY FUCK DO I LOVE THE SONG 

at least the impala’s back

Listen...Dean breaks the speed limit to AC/DC’s back in black....I break the speed limit to AC/DC’s back in black

look I’m not saying I kin him necessarily but it’s nice to feel seen

listen...Dean is...quite terrible...with people actually when he’s supposed to lie

I feel like he’s not as fine as he’s pretending to be, I feel like that’s the point

I saw this post where it’s like Dean’s bad with people, I feel like it’s more Dean can’t lie to save his life. He’s plenty charismatic when he wants to be

oho ho ho Fangs time

MORE VAMPIRE LORE FUCK YEAH

ah so they’re both acting a little bit off regardless of what they’re saying

the “lying to themselves” energy is on point

wait who’s the guy following them, I know that guy

I just realize they call their vampire related episodes a blood-related title(bloodlust, dead man’s blood), which is so funny

I KNOW THAT ACTOR HE WAS IN MAISEL?? THE AGENT?? I THINK

why does this man know so much about their dad

WHY DOES E V E R Y O N E Know about their dad, grow PAST him goddammit

STERLING K BROWN that’s his name

hey he’s a hunter too? that’s pretty cool

“Guys get out” Yes I’m sure they’ll do that

I do love how he just has a fucking sword

ok so attack the vampire, vampire fights back, Sam and Dean show up, showing they were Totally Justified to be the protagonists

well that’s a gruesome way to kill someone Dean what the fuck

AND he’s covered in blood great good job guys

I LOVE how this man talks, it’s very Smooth

pfft and Sam is gonna be a N E R D and be weird

to be fair, seeing your big bro decapitate someone like that is uh...well it’s a Lot

JOHN WAS TAKING HIM ON HUNTS AT 16 WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM

I do love the swap of stories, and I love how this guy has a WAY different backstory(couldn’t save sister, went on quest for revenge and left home, learned stuff on his own)

“took some terrible beatings” ??? J O H N ?? 

I hate John so much what the fuck

“Game face on” :( :( :(

“hole inside you, gets bigger”

this guy always gets these monologues doesn’t he

I mean he’s good at them but still

I love Ellen’s mom energy

...this guy....threatening vibes

the “no moral gray” is...scary

A H FUCK THEY JUMPED SAM IN HIS ROOM

that’s a cool shot with the dying sun+car

the teeth coming in was just...so animated

like it wasn’t scary it was just funny

look I know teasing them about their budget isn’t fair, but it’s fun

Sam please stop antagonizing the vampires, you’re currently being held captive

OH these vampires are morally grey, that’s the idea

why is the vampire’s name Eli

this Not Like Other Vampires is SENDING me

ah the “what is a hunter” debate

kill the non-humans

FINALLY some moral gray? like idk if I like how that works, but...something?

substitute for Dad... great they’re doing this now

OPE and DEAN PUNCHED SAM

LITErALLY ONE NORMAL WAY OF EMOTING

and Dean has to hotwire his precious car pfft

of course they’re both good at this dumbassery, their dad made sure of that at least

That’s about the least he did

All I can think about is Dean’s Demon Bf during this Sad Conversation

good for him(them?)

the music vaguely reminds me of Avengers

THAT FUCKIGN MUSIC STING WHEN HE SHOWS UP

IT’S THE DUMBEST MUSIC CHOICE EVER

...great a gratuitous torture scene...this is So Fun whee....

....ah and the morally complex character went and killed his sister

WHAT THE F U C K COME ON GUYS

THERE’S A WAY TO WRITE MORALLY GREY BUT NOT THIS

well taunting her like this is...super cruel...on so many levels

DAMN Dean changed his tune quick

AH “you’re a killer” I knew that brutal way to kill was gonna come back

and ending on a punch, I wish I could say I was surprised

“we can go” was so airy...boi

Sam vs Dean are actively wearing different types of clothes, that’s Nice Characterization

DAMN did Dean do a quick 180

“Dad wasn’t perfect” OH THANK GOD FINALLY

aw Dean sounds choked up

Aw and Sam says he’ll stay

aight wrap up: 

1. Did not like how complex characters got overwritten for Dean and Sam(but really Dean) to learn a lesson. That just...that was wasted potential my guy

2. And there are ways to do the moral grayness, but this felt just....shoehorned and done so quickly. I get that low budget, no time, etc but still, :/

3. I did like the addition to the world, until it got fucked up, and I do appreciate a lil moral complexity

4. plus good sibling shit at the end :)

yeah that’s all i got this time. this is certainly a show to exist

[very-secret-diary]

I was tagged by @girl-of-summer (thank you!)

the last …


1. drink: Water, always

2. phone call: Apparently my sister but I think that was an accident, so actually my mom as usual

3. text message: Amanda, pretty much this will be my answer whenever asked this question

4. song you listened to: I’m not sure, something on the radio?  I wasn’t paying attention tbh

5. time you cried: Um well I almost started crying earlier today?  My family was all outside doing fireworks and I finally decided maybe I could deal with it and I went out and they lit one and the sound stressed me out so bad I had to immediately go back inside and hold back tears?  But for real was yesterday because I’m a mess.

6. dated someone twice: Never even dated someone once

7. kissed someone and regretted it: #neverbeenkissed

8. been cheated on: Lol nope

9. lost someone special: A few years ago

10. been depressed: I am almost 100% sure that I have pdd so like, always

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: Never

favorite colors

12. Grey

13. Emerald green

14. Can I say grey again???

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends: Sure, ish

16. fallen out of love: Nope lol

17. laughed until you cried: Plenty, I do that

18. found out someone was talking about you: No

19. met someone who changed you: Nah

20. found out who your friends are: I always know who my friends are

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: Nope

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: The vast majority

23. do you have any pets: Yes, two dogs, two cats, and technically a pig but I don’t really count that

24. do you want to change your name: No, I will never change any bit of my name, the most I would even consider doing is hyphenating my last name if I got married, and even then that’s unlikely (both getting married and hyphenating if I did)

25. what did you do for your last birthday: I baked myself some cookies, say in my room away from all human contact, and reread the Foxhole Court while eating those cookies all by myself.  Also my cousin gave my a free ice cream cone.  It was nice, even though it was the first time I had a birthday away from my family. 26. what time did you wake up: 9:45ish because my mom woke me up so we could go to my aunts house, normally it would be later

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: Watching the Power Rangers movie with my family

28. name something you can’t wait for: To finally live in a place with AC again

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: I mean I’m lying on her bed rn, but she is in the front room, so the last time I actually saw her was like an hour or two ago lol

31. what are you listening to right now: The sound of the defective window unit the provides the only bit of cool air in my house

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: I don’t think so?

33. something that is getting on your nerves: Trying to survive a Florida summer without AC, it’s making me irritable lol

34. most visited website: Tumblr and YouTube.  Technically on my laptop it says I go on YouTube more, but I use Tumblr mobile more than on my computer so yeah

35. hair colour: It’s definitely brown at this point, it used to be blonde and has darkened with age

36. long or short hair: What do I have?  It’s like medium length right now, but I want to cut it shorter, to above my shoulders (that bisexual haircut is really what I’m aiming for).  But I do sometimes miss my insanely long hair.  On other people anything is nice.

37. do you have a crush on someone: Real people?  No.  Fictional people? So many.

38. what do you like about yourself: ??? I’m smartish. Edit: also my hair is really soft when I actually shower.

39. piercings: I pierced my ears on my 5th birthday, but I have not worn earrings since 5th grade so yeah

40. blood type: I have no clue but I really wish I did 

41. nickname: Some people in my family call me Karebear?  And my little sister when she was a baby called me Ra-ra, and currently my family refers to me as that when talking to my 6 month old cousin, but that’s really it.  Kara is short enough as it is.  Oh, some people like calling me Car-uh instead of Kare-uh, either to annoy me (family and friends) or because they constantly forget how to actually pronounce it so I’ve stopped correcting them (some teachers and acquaintances), but idk if that really counts

42. relationship status: Single

43. zodiac: Sagittarius 

44. pronouns: She/her

45. favourite tv show: Avatar the Last Airbender, no question

46. tattoos: None currently, one day though

47. right or left handed: Right handed

48. surgery: Never had one thankfully

49. so called “flaws”: Lol I’m both majorly insecure and have a superiority complex (about some things), which is super fun.  I have a hard time admitting I’m wrong, and when I know I’m right I will argue past the point that I technically should.  I am a major major procrastinator who should be failing everything but I’m not, somehow.  I like to lie.  I’m actually kind of a really mean person.  Like god, I’m not a good person.

50. sports: Exy

51. vacation: I would love to travel everywhere and do something actually exciting and interesting

more general

53. eating: I don’t do it as much as I should

54. drinking: Water, forever and always.  I’m in like year 15 of literally only drinking water

55. i’m about to: Idk what I’m gonna do after this, maybe try to sleep, maybe read a little bit of the Raven King

56. waiting for: ? Nothing currently

57. want: So many things, but mostly air conditioning

58. get married: I’m not opposed, but it is not something I expect.  If I do it will almost definitely be to a girl though, just putting that out there.

59. career: I am going to be a social worker, preferably international child welfare but we’ll see, everything is good

60. hugs or kisses: Hugs, but only my family and little kids

61. lips or eyes: Eyes are so so pretty, always eyes

62. shorter or taller: I don’t care, most girls are shorter than me, most guys are my height or taller.  I like my height currently and others peoples height does not matter at all to me.

63. older or younger: Is this like about dating?  Cause I don’t care as long as the gap is not too big?

64. nice arms or nice stomach: Um?  I guess arms, because all tummies are good tummies unless they are mine, but my opinion on arms is more variable.  Can I choose hands though, because lol that’s a thing.

65. hook up or relationship: Relationship

66. troublemaker or hesitant: I’m hesitant in practice, but somewhere in the middle in theory

67. kissed a stranger: again #neverbeenkissed

68. drank hard liquor: When you’ve only had water since you were 5 it really limits the exposure to alcohol, so no

69. lost glasses/contact lenses: I am constantly misplacing my glasses, but I’ve never lost them for more than a day or two

70. turned someone down: Nope

71. sex on the first date: I don’t think I would, but I support anyone and everyone else who decides to do so

72. broken someone’s heart: Almost certainly not

73. had your heart broken: Not in terms of my own relationships, other, fictional ones, lol yes

74. been arrested: No

75. cried when someone died: Probably when my grandfathers died, but I was to little to really be sure

76. fallen for a friend: I mean, I’ve had small crushes on people that I talk too, but I have very few people that I consider true friends, and I’ve never actually “fallen” for anyone

do you believe in …

77. yourself: That’s complicated, but I guess, I have a solid, mostly realistic life plan that I think is very possible

78. miracles: Also complicated?  Divine miracles?  Not really.  But it depends on how you define miracles.  I like to call really wonderful things that happen against almost all odds miracles, so of course.

79. love at first sight: Romantically No.  You can have an almost immediate connection with someone (though you need more than sight for that, you need some sort of communication), but love grows.  But familial love, yes.  It is so so possible to fall in love with a new baby or other family member right away.  And maybe that even extends to other types of platonic love.

80. santa claus: Lol as long as I have children in my life, then of course

81. kiss on the first date: If both parties are up for it then sure

82. angels: Not really.  I’m a strong agnostic so I don’t believe, but I don’t disbelieve either.  And I do sometimes like to think about it, there is something nice about it

other

83. current best friend’s name: Amanda and Victoria

84. eye colour: I say green, other’s say blue (and they used to 100% be blue), but it really depends on what I’m wearing and the lighting, it changes how people perceive  them

85. favourite movie: Okay I’m going to list some of them: The Proposal (I seriously know almost every line to this movie I’ve watched it so many times), 10 Things I Hate About You (god I will never get over Kat and Patricks relationship), Big Hero 6 (that movie will always hold such a special place in my heart, especially Tadashi).  I feel like I’m forgetting some important ones but like, I guess they can’t be my true true favorites if I’m not immediately thinking of them. And again I’m tagging: @weighing-of-wands @trucha-sai @andyouwait and @pansexualize, but again no pressure friends, I just don’t want to not tag anyone

[antthonystark]

tbh there definitely are some problems with shadowhunters like izzy's yin fen storyline and how every black shadowhunters has turned into a villian but it isn't racist every single time something bad happens to a poc. it would be if the only characters who had to suffer were poc but every character on the show gets hurt at points and like...... idk there is bad stuff that needs to be acknowledged but not everything is a problem.

note: i just basically used this ask to let out all my opinions on this issue, but i sort of broadly agree with some of what you said but not necessarily as a whole. also this is incredibly long, so don’t feel the need to read all of it! 

essentially: i don’t think shadowhunters is racist in any significant capacity, and while i’m never gonna go after people for critically analyzing or evaluating the show if that’s what they want to do, at the end of the day, personally, i don’t think nit-picking at it is a really productive thing to do. esp when there’s a lot of…. well, actual racism in the media. 

See, the thing is, a lot of the stuff that people are calling“problematic” in a racial sense, to me, is just indicative of a positiverace-blind casting ethos in the show. Now, race-blindness is not generally a good thing when talkingabout race, but when it comes to casting, I personally agree with it, in termsof having open casting calls for characters that don’t have to be race-specific(e.g. for Izzy or Luke, who are racially ambiguous in the source material, butnot for Magnus or Maia, who are clearly and importantly Asian and mixed-racerespectively in the books). Because of this ethos, Shadowhunters is an incredibly diverse show.

I guess I should probably includehere that I’m a person of colour myself as a disclaimer? I of course don’tspeak for all people of colour, but that does (or should) go without saying.

I think my general opinion on raceand Shadowhunters is that I think it does racial diversity extremely well. Ithink characters of colour are given great storylines and personalities (withone slight exception that is the one that you’ve mentioned and I’ll get intothat in a minute), and I like that they are able to afford a diversity in moralcharacter and moral alignment to characters of colour that many shows cannot simply because they don’t have enough actual,well-written, non-stereotyped diversity to begin with. I also think the waycharacters of colour are positioned in the narrative is not looked at enough,and instead they are looked at in isolation and without narrative context whichleads to oversimplified and inflammatory comments regarding Shadowhunters beingracist, which I highly and heartily disagree with. No show is going to beperfect in its depiction of racial minorities, but I think Shadowhunters is oneof the best ones out there and certainly the best one I’ve ever watched.

Also, I talked about the racialallegory in Shadowhunters here and also here, so I’m not going to get intothis  on this ask, but basically I thinkthat people don’t really know what allegory means and take it way too far atface-value - in that they think it should correspond perfectly with real-life social structures, which it doesn’t - which is not the purpose of allegory, and I think people criticizingthe casting of certain roles as POC despite them being the “oppressor class” inthe allegory (which is quite a loose allegory anyway) is a bit hypocriticalseeing as I think diversity in general is more important than casting based onan allegory that is already encoded in the narrative irrespective of castingdecisions.

BUT. Let’s get into it now! I’m goingto start with some number-crunching as a fun activity to illustrate theimportance of comparison groups, because science is important guys.

In order to kinda work through thisinformation and opinions you’ve presented here (because I’d like to think I’mthe type of person to admit when I’m wrong about something), I did some very rudimentary number-crunching.Taking all the main and recurring cast members on the show as listed onWikipedia (and I included Cleophas just because I feel like some conversationsare surrounding her), I did the math using the following 26 characters(specifically non-mundane characters):

White (10): Clary, Jace, Alec, Valentine, Jocelyn, Hodge,Lydia, The Inquisitor, Blackwell, Sebastian

POC (16): Isabelle, Simon, Luke, Magnus, Raphael, Meliorn,Camille, Maryse, Robert, Dot, Pangborn, Alaric, Maia, Victor Aldertree,Cleophas, Raj

Preliminarily, there are 6 more POCcharacters in the main/recurring cast compared to white characters, so it trulyis a show that represents diversity, if nothing else. So I think that’s quitenice.

Also, in terms of broad moralalignments, 50% of the whitecharacters are depicted as clear antagonists, and every absolute antagonist (Valentine, Imogen, Sebastian) is white(the remainder are Hodge and Blackwell the henchman). The remaining 5 are goodto ambiguous.

Comparatively, out of our 16 POC,there is much more moral ambiguity as I’ve assigned it, but anyone who iseither depicted as absolutely antagonistic or as more ambiguously antagonisticcomprises of 31% of the POCcharacters, and none of them are thevillain (who are the 3 mentioned above). I included Camille, Maryse (astretch), Pangborn, Aldertree (still sorta ambiguous but mostly evil), Cleophas(again, still somewhat ambiguous). I didn’t include Raj because I labelled himas ambiguous/lawful neutral, but including him still it jumps to 37.5%, still less than the proportionof white characters who are clearly antagonistic. The remainder are (62.5% - 69%) ambiguous to good.

Of course, as I said, this is arudimentary and over-simplified analysis, but the purpose thereof is toremember that there is no claim that can really be validated without acomparison group – you can’t say that POC are disproportionately villainizedwhen you don’t account for the control proportions, which in this case would benon-POC or white people who actually have a slightly higher proportionalvillainization than do the POC characters.

But now, onto the fun stuff! Let’sactually analyze things with narrative context.

Let’s begin with the big one, whichis Isabelle and the yin fen. Like Isaid earlier, I feel like this is…not thebest plotline to give their major Latina character, overall. I’m hesitant to utterlycondemn it until I see its full arc play out, though, because I feel like wehaven’t seen enough of it for me to condemn it as fully racist (since I seethat word as being quite a weighty accusation still). The disclaimer of coursebeing that I’m not Latinx, so I would of course defer to Latinx people’sopinions first and foremost. But if I might give my opinion, I do think thereare some mitigating factors (again, depending quite a bit on how things playout).

I think the key differentiation herebetween the portrayal and the harmful stereotype is that, in terms of how it’snarratively structured, it’s very clearly an antagonistic machination againstIsabelle (on the part of Aldertree) rather than some inherent characteristic ofthe Latina Isabelle that gives her the substance abuse problems. (The latterbeing the harmful stereotype.) It’s not great, admittedly, but I think itprovides a small but not insignificant mitigation, because in this way itdoesn’t negate all of the wonderful ways in which Isabelle defies harmfulstereotypes – that this plotline does not define who she is, but rathersomething that was unfairly and deceptively doneto her. (Which I think is also a slightly better way of portraying people withsubstance abuse problems, because it’s much more true to life of addictioncompared to the more common “people with drug addictions = inherently worthlesspeople” trope).

Also, it’s not a great plotline as Ikeep saying, and I think they could have done something different with her, butI also like that she has her own autonomous storyline? Compared with seasonone, where she largely played the support system of characters like Clary andAlec. I like that we see her struggle and suffer as any main character shouldget the chance to do – and ultimately grow – because Izzy is by no meansreduced to a one-note character through this plotline, and it actuallyhighlights some of her character struggles – drug or no drug – such as herinability to admit defeat and ask for help when she needs it.

Again, these are mitigating factorsto a storyline that does play into harmful stereotypes, so I’m not saying itentirely salvages or entirely excuses it, but it’s – as usual – a bit morecomplex than “racist fucking pieces of shit!!” or “not racist shut up!!!!!”

Regarding the rest of what you’vesaid plus what a lot of other people are saying, another thing that’s importantto consider is that I think using screentime as an absolute measure ofnarrative equality is a bit of a flawed paradigm, esp. when it comes to showthat juggles a lot of mains and side characters as well. While screentimeshould absolutely be considered, I think there’s an equal weight that should begiven to a character’s place and position in the narrative, and theirsignificance thereof.

In this case, I’d like to use Luke asan example. I saw a few recent complaints about Luke not getting enoughscreentime, and I can totally respect that (and would love to see Luke get morescreentime). But I think people think that this means the show is making himirrelevant, and I just don’t see that as being the case at all? When it comesto narrative positioning, Luke is in the extremely key position that is usuallygiven to the main protag – he’s the literary foil of Valentine. I mean, that’smy interpretation – he’s the Dumbledore to Val’s Voldemort, if you will. He’smuch more the perfect foil to Valentine than either Clary or Jace, who arerepeatedly highlighted in connection – rather than in contrast – to Valentine.Thus, to the main story arc, Luke is much more significant than a characterlike, say, Alec or even Izzy, because, just as an example, Alec’s narrative andemotional involvement in the main villain arc is usually tangential, connectedto it through Jace more than anything.

That’s one example, but I feel likepeople tend to oversimplify certain notions to just “amount of screentime”which is one measure, of course, and a significant one, but not generally thewhole story.

I think that most characters ofcolour in the story are given really critical parts in terms of how they’repositioned in the narrative structure and overall plotline that I think isreally gratifying – they’re not tangential, there’s not expendable, they’re notthere to just support the white protag and then get out of there. Like Cleophasfor example, they’re given complex motivations of their own that have norelation to the white protags (like Cleophas or like Maia), and they’re alsogiven crucial, pivotal moments in the episodes.

I liked Cleophas’ position in thenarrative and I loved the struggle between Luke and Cleophas – a clash ofvalues, of ideals, a pained family history – it was just so rich anddeliciously complex to me, in a way that relationships between 2 POC are rarelyif ever depicted. Had she been straight-up evil, I think it would have beenanother story, but she was a complicated and extremely dynamic character with aset of uncompromising principles. Personally, I find all of this that much moregratifying (and not racist) than just “this character is a good person and aperson of colour this is the rep that I want and deserve” (but MUCH MORE onthis in the next section).

And then, I mean, there’s some stuffthat’s just…not … racism. Like,there’s – it’s just not. Like, I saw one person going “oh Valentine had theupper hand in the fight against Luke so that means racist” like lol if any oneof the protags could beat Valentine in a fight then he wouldn’t be a veryeffective villain now would he? That’s just being silly. Also, I saw one persongoing “oh, they made Simon and Maia’s date all about the white girl’sfeelings!! racism!!” like lol, I’d rather have Maia be like “hey man you’restill into this girl so I’m not going to let you string me along here” becausehaving Maia puppy after Simon while he’s into Clary would be a lot moredemeaning, wouldn’t it? And speaking of Clary, don’t get me started on the “lolClary is a white saviour!!” thing. Like. You keep using those words but I don’tthink they mean what you think they mean.

Furthermore and most significantly of all, as I alluded to earlier, one of the mostimportant things about POC representation is that it should not feed intostereotypes. Like, there’s nothing inherently wrong with having POC playantagonistic roles provided that (a) they are not the only antagonists and (b)that they are not playing into and supporting harmful stereotypes about thatgroup of people. Because people can shout “Representationmatters!” until they’re blue in the face, but if they don’t understand why it matters, then it makes nodifference. It matters to show young people of all colours and races that theybelong in and have an important place in the media that they consume andinteract with, and it matters to show allpeople that people of colour are as dimensional, complex, multifaceted, andimportant as white people. I think Shadowhunters accomplishes both of thosegoals amazingly well.  Again, is itperfect? Nope. Does it try? Yes. Does it accomplish a great deal? Yes. Shouldit be condemned? Not at all.

To illustrate, let me use Raj as anexample. As a South Asian myself, I’m pretty aware of how we’re stereotyped. IfRaj was like Raj (lol) from the Big Bang Theory who was shown in the narrativeto be desexualized and unattractive and socially incompetent, or a characterwho was shown to be backwards and sexist, or excessively cheap, or something like that – I’d take a hugeissue with it. I mean, those are pretty extreme to show you what I’m talkingabout, but these types of things can creep into portrayals of POC subtly butinsidiously. I think that’s why the Izzy/yin fen thing is indeed something thatcan be seen as “problematic” for sure.

But I don’t take issue with Raj’sportrayal (it’d be cool to see more of him though) because there’s no harmfulsocietally-engrained stereotype that we’re snarky or slightly unlikeable, so aDesi, mouthy, maybe somewhat insensitive half-angel warrior is not a portrayalthat I find racist or harmful in any significant way. Actually, it’s kindarefreshing. Hell, I’m snarky and significantly unlikeable,and South Asian, so Raj is like. my dude. Nor is Raj the only Shadowhuntershown to follow orders to a point that is considered immoral or “against” theprotagonists – Alec is, Lydia is, Aldertree is, Maryse and Robert are as well.

I hope that gets my point across when I say “mean character of colour”=/= “racist portrayal”. You wanna think critically, my dude. Think about aportrayal and think, “what effect isthis having that does something to support racism in any larger context outsideof this show?” and if you’re coming up blank, then….you’re probably good.

I’m most comfortable talking aboutRaj being South Asian, but we’re right up there next to the Southeast/EastAsians so let’s take Magnus as another great example. Magnus takes harmfultropes associated with South/east/East Asian men and destroys them. Rather thanbeing submissive and desexualized, he is repeatedly shown as one of (if notthe) most powerful characters on the show, and is one of the most individualistcharacters who doesn’t bow to any institution or will except his own, and he’srepeatedly shown to be extremely sexually attractive in the narrative. Not onlythat, he’s a complex and well-rounded character in many, many different wayswith a rich backstory, and he is repeatedly shown to be his own character withstories independent of his relationships with any of the other protags.

A final one I want to mention isMeliorn. As someone who was raised Muslim and comes from a Muslim family (stilla closeted atheist), I’m very sensitive to portrayals of Arab people (oftenMuslims) since they are far-and-away one of the most stereotyped as terrorists or similar such roles. But Meliornis depicted as a very peaceful, meditative, powerful being with strong earthlyconnections – and it’s just so far from any stereotype that I really appreciateit.  

That’s just a couple of examples,but, more than that, I think one of the things that is the best about how Shadowhunters portrays people of colour is one ofthe things that other people seem to use as a detractor towards it. That is,that they are all complex. I likecharacters that have complex or ambiguous moralities. I don’t want charactersof colour to all be perfect loveable angels, because the whole point of goodrepresentation to me is to show audiences that we are people.

We can be characters that could havebeen white people – that, essentially, we can play characters that are notwritten as “Asian” or “Black” or “Latin” but that are excellent,well-conceived, well-rounded, unstereotyped characters that could have easilybeen written for and played by white people, but aren’t, because POC have a right to exist in the exact same spacesas do white people. (But still and significantly – SH doesn’t ignore theexisting ethnicities of the actors they cast, having Iz, Raphael, and Simonspeak Spanish; making references to Magnus’s Southeast Asian culture andupbringing; even having Maia briefly mention the problems of police and blackyouth; and of course the allegorical implications of Downworlders.)

And that’s why I like Shadowhunters,because it executes this concept beautifully, and that’s why I will yell tillI’m blue in the face about how it’s not racist. There’s no point in over-criticizing a show that does so much good when there’s so much bad out there, in my opinion. pick your battles fam. 

[ravkasqueen]

Everything was perfect

Harry x reader

A lovely anon requested: Imagine with Harry meeting a pureblood son of a Death Eater first instead of Ron and they becoming best friends? And even though he’s Slytherin he is like really cute and sweet and awkward and rather protective of Harry when Draco’s bullying him? And then like when Harry starts liking somebody he gets really jealous and he’s like really confused why? And then one night at astronomy tower he admits his feelings to Harry and they kiss.. idk, so much fluff- can he also have blue eyes and dark hair?

Note: This was written, intended, for male readers but in all honesty, I feel this can be enjoyed by everyone no matter your gender :) also - please note that I did not make the reader have dark hair etc. as I leave these blanks for each individual reader to fill in <3

Word count: 2759

Masterlist

Forever tagging: @crownofdaisies @drxgonflyblue

As the rain splattered against the window of the compartment you sat in, legs drawn together and book in hand, a grin overtook your face. The typical English weather was nothing to be happy about but the memories it conjured always gave you a reason to smile. It wasn’t all that long ago that you sat in this compartment, in this train, met a strange boy with a lightning scar and green eyes which shone like emeralds.

How different everything would have turned out, had you gotten to the train on time and found a compartment for yourself, as opposed to reality where you had to search for somewhere which wasn’t already full. One thing was certain; the infamous Harry Potter would have never become your best friend.

The second he mentioned his name and your eyes turned wide you knew that he didn’t have a clue just how widely known he was. Coming from a pureblood family had meant that you knew exactly who he was. Having a father who was a Death Eater meant that you knew exactly why the mere mention of his name in your house was a taboo of sorts.

Growing up, you had been told stories of the Potter boy the same as any other child of magic. However, when you were told the story Harry became the villain rather than the saviour. Only as you grew older did you begin to realise that this may not be the case but instead of arguing about it with your parents, you simply chose to keep quiet.

The day that you met the boy, you saw that he could never possibly be all that he was said to. His clothes were drowning him, his hair looked as though it had never been combed and his smile was too carefree as you told him more about yourself. He certainly didn’t look like someone who wanted to take away magic and destroy its purity. And, the more you thought about this, the easier it became to realise that everything your family had told you had been a load of rubbish. Who cares about the purity of blood when the half-blood who sat opposite you made you feel as happy as you were in that moment?

Those were the ideals you kept with you until today. You were sorted into Slytherin, which was no surprise but the only reason you wished you never were, was the fact Harry was sorted into Gryffindor. This didn’t mean that you couldn’t be friends, though, and you were determined to make Harry yours. Now, six years later, you could say that you succeeded in doing not only this but also in keeping the fact away from your family. The last thing you needed was to be bombarded with constant questions regarding your best friend’s status, which was something you were certain would happen. Putting Harry in any sort of danger just wasn’t an option for you to consider. The mere thought of doing so made your insides curl and churn uncomfortably.

Recently, however, things had become a lot more tense. Nearly two years ago, You Know Who returned and killed Cedric Diggory in a graveyard, making the battle once again very, very real for everyone. Last year, you and a group of others were caught in a fight at the Ministry, which resulted in the death of Harry’s godfather; his last remaining member of remaining family.

The decision between your family and the side you wanted to be on had been an easier one to make than you would have originally thought after you saw your father leading the chase that night in the Ministry. Though, a small part of you suspected that the choice had been made all along since you and the boy with messed up hair had shared an entire trolley of sweets together.

Over the years, your feelings for Harry had become a lot more complex and now, whenever you looked at him you could barely refrain from grinning. The mere spectacle of him set your chest alight with the burning of unanswered questions and his grin could flip your stomach upside down, causing the butterflies could escape their jail. Whenever he was near, your fingers twitched with the impulse to touch him and when he went away your smile grew cold

Though, you knew it was pointless. These feelings you kept chained up in your heart could never be shared. There was no way Harry could ever possibly feel the same; he certainly never made it seem like he could. Besides, what would people say? The Chosen One…with you. Poor, plain, always in the wrong place at the wrong time throughout the years, you.

A loud noise which came from your left went off with a bang and you jumped out of your reverie. Eyes wild and head-turning you searched for the source but relaxed when you almost immediately found a group of Slytherin guys messing around with a couple of the Weasley’s products. You rolled your eyes and turned away to face the Common Room fire which shone an eerie green colour. ‘So much for “never buying them and supporting their joke of a shop,”’ you thought to yourself as memories of these very words came to your head.

Biting your lip nervously, you checked the time on your watch and decided that it was close enough to dinner to begin walking up towards the Great Hall. You sighed as you reached forwards for your forgotten book, closing it with a snap and intending to take it with you on your way as you stood up from your chair.

“Hey! Y/N!” A voice called and your eyes closed involuntarily for a couple of seconds as you breathed a small sigh.

The main thing you hated about your house where the people you shared it with. You could now see how you had been brainwashed to think a certain way while growing up but it was clear no one else in your house had either come to the same realisation or felt brave enough to say it out loud. Even you kept quiet about how you disregarded everything your parents had taught you – with all except Harry, that is.

Turning on your foot, you found yourself coming face to face with Draco. “Y/N!” He cried, smiling falsely. “Running off to see the 'wittle Potter?” He asked scathingly.

Despite you loving and understanding your close relationship with Harry, not many others from Slytherin house did. Draco constantly droned on about how proud and vain Harry supposedly was and whenever you corrected him on his opinions and accusations the complaints turned against you.

“Yes, Draco.” You sighed once more. “I’m going to the Great Hall where everyone else, including Harry, will be so I’m sure I’ll see him.”

Draco faltered for a moment before contorting his face in irritation. “No need to become sarcastic.” He bit out. “I was only asking a question after all.

You huffed. “Well, you were asking a stupid question, weren’t you?”

“Potter’s a twat.” He said. “I don’t know how you, or anyone else for that matter, can stand him.”

“Well,” you said while moving past Draco and towards the door without another look in his direction. “I don’t know how anyone could ever possibly stand to be in the same room as you for more than a couple of minutes. You don’t ever shut up and your voice is grating.”

You had almost gotten to the Common Room door when you felt a hand grab around your bicep and halt you in your tracks. Swinging around, you saw that Draco was there, preventing you from moving away.

“What did you just say to me?” He asked in a tone which suggested you likely shouldn’t anger him or else he may tell his father about you.

“The truth.” Was all you replied with before pulling your arm out of his grip and walking through the portrait hole.

You forced yourself to walk all the way to the Great Hall without checking over your shoulder, thinking that it would likely take Draco a while to understand your insult of him, anyway.

Once you got to the Great Hall, however, you were more than ready to see your friend once more. It had been one of the rare days where your timetables just didn’t match up and you ended up not seeing one another much at all. It always saddened you to reach the morning of this day and took great effort to drag yourself up and out of bed when the knowledge that you wouldn’t be seeing Harry until Dinner, after breakfast, hit.

You strolled through the large doors and spotted the boy with messy hair almost immediately and on impulse, you smiled and made a move to walk towards him where he sat at the Gryffindor table. Although, you stopped short of the bench the moment you saw whom he was with.

Laughing and joking by Harry’s side was Ginny Weasley.

Your heart clenched painfully within your chest and the guilt that you knew that you had no right to be hurt – Harry was not yours after all – made the experience more devastating. Swallowing nervously, you bowed your head and without your customary greeting to Harry, you headed to your own table and joined the other Slytherin students.

You partially felt as though you were being overly dramatic but when you turned and saw the longing expression on Ginny’s face; you knew you had been right all along. Ginny Weasley, after all these years, indeed still liked Harry Potter.

The thought alone was enough to make your stomach twist itself into knots and your appetite to leave completely. The truth behind the thought made you want to curl yourself into a small ball and hide away forever.

“You alright?”

Startled by the sudden words, you jumped and looked up to see Blaise Zabini looking at you with concern flickering in the crevices between his eyebrows.

Eyes widening and cheeks reddening, you nodded quickly and hastily poured yourself a goblet before raising it to your lips delicately as if you hadn’t a care in the world when the reality was quite the opposite. You were being too obvious if Zabini of all people could tell there was something bothering you. If he could tell, then that meant Harry would be able to tell in a heartbeat.

Sighing once more you allowed yourself a final look at the pair tables behind you, barely able to prevent your eyes from straying in that direction any longer. You winced as you saw Ginny laughing and grinning widely at something Harry had said. When she leant forwards and playfully slapped his shoulder, however, you couldn’t stand it any longer and you were soon pushing away from the table and heading back towards the Slytherin Common Room for the day. You weren’t hungry anyway.

 ***

 It had been two days and you had barely ventured outside of your dorm, feigning illness whenever someone asked and pretending not to think it serious enough for Madam Pomfrey to attend to when someone offered to fetch her.

You thought yourself dramatic but your sorrow kept you from feeling utterly pathetic. Doubt had crept into your mind and reality had struck. How on earth had you ever even entertained the possibility that Potter could ever like you back? The knowledge that he likely never would knock the wind out of you and prevented you from feeling much of anything other than the despairing numbness which had spread from your mind, your heart and into your fingers and toes. 

However, everyone has to pick themselves up and get on with life eventually. Everybody was at the Great Hall and you were alone for it was dinner time and the silence helped you to collect your thoughts. You knew you couldn’t allow yourself the time to grieve over a petty trouble any longer so you were trying to come up with a plan to distance yourself from Harry but the idea alone was crushing to tend to.

You were sat on the edge of your bed, head on your hands when a small scuffling sound caught your attention. Your head snapped up but when you looked, there was no one there to see but instead of turning away your eyes narrowed and continued to look around the room. It wasn’t unlike your fellow Slytherin members to leave a few…surprises behind. Grabbing your wand, you stood up and held it out in front of you defensively, ready for even the slightest move.

“Hey, Y/N!” Harry said, making you jump and shoot red sparks from your wand without thinking as he revealed himself from the invisibility cloak he had obviously been wearing.

Your jaw dropped as you stared at him dumbfounded. “What are you doing here?” You demanded after a moment’s hesitation.

Harry grinned cheerfully and dropped himself down onto the edge of your bed. “Visiting my best mate, what else would I be doing?” He asked with a cocky tilt of the head as he bundled the cloak into his arms and patted the place next to him as if he owned the place.

You fumbled for a minute before asking; “But, how did you get in?”

“It was simple,” he said in a bored tone with a non-committal wave of the hand. “Now, how are you feeling?” He asked. “I was told you were sick but you seem rather fine to me.” 

Scowling, you stalked forwards and dropped back into the space where you had been, next to Harry. “I am ill.” You defended weakly.

“Really?” Harry asked. “Must be some new illness which has no side effects at all.” He said sarcastically. “Now what’s really up?” You opened your mouth but he cut you off. “And, I want the truth.”

You frowned and shut your mouth before opening it once more. “I just have a lot on my mind at the moment, alright?”

Harry nodded to himself. “Alright. And, this isn’t something you feel able to share with your best friend, right?”

You bowed your head, guilt flooding you as you realised you had never before kept anything from Harry and nor he, you. “I-”

“No, I get it,” Harry said. “It would just be nice to know so I don’t have to worry about you.”

The thought of Harry worrying about you made the butterflies flutter once again but you restrained their emotion. “Do you like Ginny?” You questioned after a moment without thinking before opening your mouth. After hearing the words you had spoken, your eyes widened and your heart started to beat rapidly. You couldn’t believe that you had been so blunt and obvious.

Harry’s eyes widened to and he blinked to himself for a while and swallowed nervously. “What?” He asked after a moment. 

You closed your eyes and turned away, trying to shrug and feign nonchalance – as if it were no big deal to ask your friend about their romantic status with a random girl. “I don’t know.” You said hastily, wishing there was a way to take back what you had said. “It doesn’t matter, I don’t-”

“Nah, I don’t.” He said. “She’s not really my type in all honesty.”

You blinked and blushed. “Oh.”

“Why’d you ask?” Harry questioned with a hint of amusement in his tone.

He laughed nervously and scratched the back of your neck. “Oh nothing, I was just-”

“Jealous?”

“Yes.” You nodded without thinking before your eyes shot out of your head and you began to shake it frantically from side to side. “No!” You shouted. “No that’s not what I meant! I don’t, I-” 

When you turned back to face Harry, your words got caught up in your throat due to how close he was and you froze for a moment as your eyes stared directly into his. “Do you like me?” He asked.

“W-what?” Your voice trembled as your eyes betrayed you and strayed towards his lips. 

“Do you like me?” He repeated with a glint in his eye.

You sighed and bowed your head. “Yes,” You never got to finish your sentence as, as soon as the one word you had been dreading saying left your lips; a grin the size of the world sprung into place on Harry’s mouth and before you knew it his hand was caressing your cheek and he was lifting your head and pressing his lips against yours.

And, in that moment, everything was absolutely perfect.