#what da fuuuuuck

[navnae]

THEY DO IT ON PURPOSE

STOP IT I CANT TAKE IT 🫠

[mistressoftheelderitchwhorehouse]

Oooo great. Can I request Dazai and Chuuya (separately) and their reaction to their s/o making them Cajun food. (Specifically a crab boil for Dazai.)

Fuuuuuck yes you can!

Fandom: Bungo Stray Dogs

Pairings: Dazai x Reader and Chuuya x Reader

Reader Type: Black coded

------------‐------------------------

A Surprise for Dazai

Cooking was something that Dazai despised. He didn't have the motivation to, it was messy, and also he lived a ten minute walk from a convenience store. Why the hell would he ever cook?

Also... There was the fact that you wouldn't let him into the kitchen even if he wanted to.

When you weren't at work or enjoying his company, you could often be found in the kitchen making Western style food. It was expensive, but that's basically what you used your allowance from him for.

Spaghetti, garlic butter, chocolate cake, and now something with crab.

You had sent him out for it, and when he came back you had kicked him out of the kitchen once more.

That had been awhile ago.

Dazai had set himself up on your shared futon, and was reading some evidence for a case while steadily draining a beer he had procured while shopping. He didn't quite have a buzz, but his shoulders had relaxed, and he felt comfortable to let his facade drop while he heard you singing along to SZA while in the next room.

"Osamu, food's on!"

He tossed his book to the side, collected his beer, and went to the cramped kitchen. "Did my lovely Belladonna toss make some hemlock spiced crab for me?"

"You wish." You pulled the table out and plucked up the pot. "Can you set that up for me?"

He did as instructed, curiosity filling him even more. You typically just served bowls if you made stews or soups. You didn't like carrying hot pots and pans everywhere, nor did you allow him to do so either as you didn't want him to get hurt.

See? You're too cute for your own good. He set up the dining table beside the futon, and let you set the pot down.

"Feels like we're about to do a seance!"

"What kinda seances do you go to, Osamu? Never mind, don't answer that." You set the pot down, and pulled off the top. "Ta da~!"

Staring back at him was a pot full of potatoes, crab, corn, and sausage. It smelled warm and salty, but had some kind of an earthy scent too.

He looked up at you with wide eyes, allowing his true expression to show for once. "A crab hot pot for me?"

"Back home we call it a crab boil." You sat down opposite him and grinned. "Happy anniversary, Osamu."

"I didn't-"

"I don't need anything fancy from you." You pushed back a stray braid, your teeth worrying your bottom lip. "I wanted to do this for you. Enjoy it."

Dazai stared at you for a long moment, before closing his eyes and shaking his head. "You're gonna be the death of me one day."

"Yeah, yeah. How about trying this?"

He opened his eyes in time to get a mouth full of potato. It was warm, and buttery, and actually delicious.

"So?"

Dazai swallowed and stole the fork from you. "Can we have this next week to?"

"Ha! I knew you'd like it."

Fin

-------------------------------------

Warm

Chuuya rarely had any time off. If he wasn't planning a mission, being dragged off to strange tea shops by Elise, or doing the mountain of paperwork on his desk, he was sleeping.

Actually, that's what he had been doing no less than five minutes ago until the smell of onions, celery, and tomato filled his nose.

That was a sure sign that you were home.

He dragged himself out of bed, and tossed a robe over his shoulders, before padding out of the room. And there you were, listening to some podcast in English while stirring a pot. Your back was to him, and from your relaxed shoulders and the messy bun you'd tossed your curls into, he'd say you were relaxed.

He made his footsteps audible as he entered the kitchen, causing you to twist around with a smile. "Hey, Red. Did you sleep well?"

"Well enough for six hours." A yawn tore through his person, and you shook your head with a snicker. When he got ahold of his words again he gestured to the roiling steam behind you. "What'cha makin' ?"

"Gumbo! It's cold out, so I wanted you to get something warm before you headed out again."

"Ah, didn't have to do that, sweet thing. Got plenty of coffee in the office."

"I know, but," You twisted back around and the stove was shut off with a click. "you're important to me."

He fought the flush off his face as he scratched the back of his head. "Fuck, you know how to make a man feel special."

"Good! Now set the table with some bowls, please."

He did as instructed, taking out a beautiful magnolia printed set out of the China cabinet, before setting them down next to you.

It didn't take long to fill the bowl, and hand it back to Chuuya. The spice of tobasco and garlic made his mouth water.

He stole a spoon and took a bite. Warmth flooded his mouth and stomach, staving off the cold that threatened to creep through his windows and doors.

"So? How's it taste?"

"Best batch you made yet. Gonna have to write down the receipe."

"Ha, you're hilarious."

You served up your portion in a bowl, and you went over to the table. When you tried to sit down, Chuuya snatched you by the waist and sat you in his lap.

"Hey!"

"Just a second like this," He said. "Just a little longer."

He could feel your stare on his face as he took another bite of the gumbo, this time getting a mouthful of okra and sausage. Eventually you sighed and went to your own bowl. He squeezed your hip, and you dropped a hand to squeeze his wrist.

More warmth flooded his body, this one bring with it contentment.

Fin

I hope you enjoyed it! Please take some begniettes and tea on your way out~!

[memobread]

cozy househusband wes borland fluffy smutty wutty

Hi guys! I just got out of school for the summer, so im just starting to recover from the stress that's been keeping me from writing. Aaanyway, here's sum wes pics and a short lil fic i wrote while u wait for the jd fic :D.

contains: thigh riding (reader doing), mutual masturbation (kinda??), established marriage, daddy kink, househusband manwhore wes

Honorable mention: @are-we-really-doing-this

================================================================================================

You could barely keep your eyes open as you parked your 2006 Honda Accord next to your small, shacky house. It was around midnight that night and you didn't have work the next day, so you originally planned to sleep right away. However, when you stepped inside, you could see Wes watching TV wearing nothing but a pair of red briefs. He looked like he was waiting for you.

"Oh hey babe, how was work?" Wes asked, turning his attention to you.

You slinked over to him and plopped down on his knee, facing him as you buried your face in his neck.

"Hhhhhhnnnnnnggggg..." You croaked, wriggling up to him to get closer.

Wes laughed and held you, rubbing your back gently.

"Bad?"

You nodded before nipping at his neck, making him yelp.

"Poor baby..." Wes cooed, kissing the side of your head.

He played with your hair while watching Seinfeld, occasionally letting out his sexy little chuckle. As time went by, you started sliding down his thigh, so you scooted up, but harder than you imagined. This sent a little wave of pleasure shaking your little pussy as you awoke, now more alert than before. You had been abstinent from sex because of how busy you were, and you didn't have time to relieve yourself, so you were as sensitive as ever. You felt every ounce of burning tension in your lower body start to slowly push your hips back and forth, tightening your grip around his bare shoulders. He made a humming noise to say, "just what do you think you're doing?"

"Hmm...someone's needy, aren't they?" Wes whispered.

You suddenly felt a twinge of embarrassment, like you were a stray dog humping someone's leg. You stopped and tried to get off of him, but he pulled you right back down and grabbed the back of your neck.

"I didn't tell you to stop."

Before you could respond, Wes slid his hands down to your ass and started guiding your hips back and forth.

"Fuck your sweet little pussy on me..."

You nodded shakily, moving your hips against his thick, solid thigh and breathing heavily into his ear, trying to get the same angle that made you feel so good before.

"Here, let's take these jeans off, hm?" Wes said in a low voice, undoing your belt, and unzipping your large, baggy jeans, and pulling down your undies. Once they were tossed on the floor with your shoes, Wes pressed you down onto him, reveling in the way you fell apart for him; how you would work so hard and do your job so well like an adult, then turn into a little depraved cutie once you were in Wes's hands.

"I love how I can just put you however I want, baby...You're so tiny and-"

Wes kissed your neck.

"-customizable in my hands..."

You whimpered at his contact with your neck; the way his beard tickled your sensitive spots and how his low, baritone voice was right in your ear.

"Da...ddy..." You mewled quietly into his shoulder, pawing at his back like a little kitten.

He awwed at your cute timidness and rested his hands on your ass, gently guiding your desperate hips. When you hit an especially sweet spot, you squeaked, curling up and groping at his bare skin, driving him balls-to-the-wall insane.

"Fuuuuuck, I need to touch myself...you're so damn adorable it drives me nuts..."

Without any further notice, Wes sprung his cock from the confines of his briefs and slid his hand to meet your pussy.

"You're soaking wet for me, baby, fuuuck..."

He slid his hand under your pussy, and you stopped to let him play with you. You threw your head back and tried clamping your thighs together when Wes started blessing your clit with wet flicks from side to side.

"...oh my god, wes...that feels so good..." You moaned pathetically, bucking your hips into his hand.

He hummed sweetly and took his hand out, making you whine.

"Baby, this is for my cock..."

With that hand, he stroked himself firmly and groaned, throwing his head back. You took the opportunity to attack his neck with hot, open-mouthed kisses and bites, making him whimper loudly as you bucked your hips faster, desperate to cum. Your drenched pussy lips were spread apart by Wes's sexy thigh, your clit reveling in direct exposure to Wes's skin. The little hairs on his leg poked you in just the right way, making you wetter and wetter by the minute. Your messy cunny was dripping, soaking Wes's thigh as you slipped and slid back and forth, already nearing your orgasm.

"Wait for me, baby...Wait for me..."

You obeyed, painfully edging yourself on his leg, seeing his beautiful, intense features, and trying not to cream everywhere. It drove Wes insane to see you edge your clit so painfully on his leg, twitching and writhing in his lap.

"Oh god, daddy, please!!”

"Oh god, fuck, fuck, yes, princess... cum for me and I'll- fuck! - cum for you..."

You reached your peak speed, as did he.

"Daddy, I'm cumming, I'm cumming!! Fuck!!"

"Oh god, Y/N, me too, fuuuuck!!! Cum for me...cum all over my leg like a good little pup..."

With that, you both came undone all over each other; you soaked his leg and your juices dripped onto the couch he sat on, and he spurted hot, milky cum out of his hard, throbbing cock and splattered it all over your shirt. You gripped him tightly and twitched against him, slowly easing yourself down from your high. You collapsed beside him, your pussy red and throbbing, watching Wes tuck his convulsing cock back into his briefs.

"...that was amazing..." You panted, snuggling up to Wes.

He held you in his arms and wrapped the two of you in a soft, fluffy blanket.

"You should have exhausting overtime days more often..."

You snickered, playfully biting his pec.

"Sure, sure..."

[sweetsmalldog]

Castlevania: Nocturne Episode 3 liveblog

IMMEDIATELY STARTING OUT WITH DROLTA WE LOVE TO SEE HER

Oh they’re fully branding the cultist vampires ok

Every time they show the flowers they’re so fucking pretty

I already know Annette’s backstory is gonna fucking hurt

Her having to beg for her kid fuuuuuck

Hello random photorealistic bug

Why the vampire in da house all of a sudden

OH FUCK

The extra stylization adds to the story so well fitting the idea these are Annette’s memories

TELL HIM TO FUCK OFF YES

If Annette doesn’t get to kill this fucker by the end of the series what’s the point?

Why is Castlevania doing bury your gays now you already kill everyone’s moms

Hey Olrox!

This knife pinning faith debate is pretty gay to be honest tho

“Let’s do this somewhere more comfortable” This is really gay actually

DROLTA and new lady

Oooh she’s the Vampire Messiah

Shut up Abbot

Maria my love she’s my daughter now

Let’s go Ritcher!!!

ANNETTE CUT IT IN TWO!!!!

Oh no Edouard-

HE SAVED HER

Isaac’s theory about Night Creatures was right!!! They retain some humanity after!!!!

Oh Annette

[robotnikholmescomicblog]

The good guys are all like “Okay let’s split up, gang!“ and things go terrible for all of them. Rouge and Amy Rose encounter emerald traps, Omega gets frozen by familiar crystal magicks, and Knuckles and Shadow...encounter another Echidna?! What da fuuuuuck. Yeah, it doesn’t take a genius to know who this beefcake’s real identity is. xD C’mon, Naugus, you couldn’t even change your glove cuffs and shoes?

I remember the sudden appearance of “Nixus“ causing quite a commotion in the fanbase at the time. Does Archie Sonic have permission to make new Echidna characters after the whole Ken Penders lawsuit? Are Sega okay with extra Echidnas as long as they’re clearly imitations of them? And why does Nixis look like an evil version of Boom!Knuckles?? In the end, it’s nothing but a quick shock at a troll wizard’s shapeshifting tricks, but food for thought.

[dykenastasyafilippovna]

Jimmy I love you so much you're so beautiful and amazing and smart and HA APRIL'S FOOL, YOU'RE A FUCKING NERD, LOLLLLLLL GET OWNED, IDIOT OHHHHHHHHH GET FUUUUUCKED

what da DEVIL............. who is this.. fuck off......

[andiaquarium-moved]

What da fuuuuuck. Skippy read demon slayer ?

[drei-satzzeichen]

wo wir schon bei screenshots aus den spielen sind :D :D

Zwei Dinge: A) woher ist das? und B) Bitte, bitte, bitte sag mir, dass das nicht Cotta sein soll. In dem Fall würde ich nämlich gerne vergessen, dieses Bild je gesehen zu haben.

[bruhbertwest]

I STOPPED COLLECTING HOTQHEELS FOREVER AGO BUT YOU KNOW WHAT. I MIGHT START COLLECTING DA ART CARS SOON ENUFF BECOSE. HOLY FUCKING SHIT

THEYRE SO FUCKING PRETY WHAT THE FUCK????????????? WHAT THE FUCK. AND THEYRE SO FUCKING NEAT!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[yuzenji-archive]

hey hey!!! some HCs of what Kuroo, Iwaizumi and Akaashi would do if they see someone from another school hitting on their crush during the games?

| riza: im highkey such a wh*re for shit like this ngl

TETSURŌ —

tetsu has a lot of pride when it comes to his games and u bet ur ass his Ego™️ is thru the roof whenever u come to watch his home games (and some away games but i dont think he knows that oho)

SO ANYWAYS hes been seein this person come to u or whateva and basically hit on u and tetsurō sees how uncomfy u are so he just stands there

with his hands on his hips and eyes squinted like tf is goin on ova there

“kuroo what are u doin”

“nothin sorry”

being a good player that he is in volleyball he did his best to not let this shit bother him

but thats exactly what he didnt do ??? whenever he has a chance to look over at u he takes it and theres always somethin new this person who is hittin on u is different

and he could NOT wait until the game is done

he couldnt see that well but he knows damn well this person is going to another school and he does Not like this said school

after the game he goes and does the thing where he high fives the other team and congratulate his team whatever and then he “excuses himself” to the bathroom

aka hes going down to see u and to see if this damn kid is still hittin on u

the kid is still hittin on u!!!

he hollers at u being all “hey!! hey!!! baby whatchu doin!!”

he doesnt know whats happening hit hes doin to get this kid oUTTA HERE!!!

“i didnt know u have a boyfriend?” said kid

kuroo’s big boy ass just puts his arm over ur shoulder and fuckin smirks like ?? “yeah go away”

and the second the kid goes kuroo pulls away and bows so fuckin low as an apology for being all touchy feely with u but like

u understand why he did that so hes forgiven

plus hes cute and u told him that and now yall are abouta go on ur first date :3

HAJIME —

he hasnt gone up to play just yet and everything is on a break before aobajohsai actually goes up to play against this school they came for

hajime was getting drinks for himself (tōru wanted some too but :> ) and he overhears a convo that he shouldnt be hearing

so he gets his drink and casually goes to where the convo is and just leans against the wall to hear whats happening and he hears ur precious voice and hes like ?? what are u doing here

and he realizes that something is going on and u do not like it and ur getting uncomfortable so he gets off the wall and pretended like he was walking to the same hallway and he goes

“hey, i was looking for u - heres the drink u asked for” it was an energy drink NDWOKSKSK

and u instantly knew what he was doing and u went along with it so u curved this person to get to hajime and u HUGGED him!!! and he tried so hard to keep his cool

“i got lost on the way to ur team!! but im so glad u found me” headass and hajime is obviously blushing but he remains a cool composure

he simply phts his arm around u and he just drags u away and as soon as u turn the corner he just sighs bc of the pent up feelings in his chest and he apologized but u thanked him for what he did and he just ): hes a happy camper

and tōru wondered why his performance was beautiful that day

KEIJI —

lemme just say - theres no way kōtarō doesnt know who keiji’s crush is

and now that we got that out of the way

kōtarō being keiji’s best bud notices something is very much inconveniencing him and he looks at where hes lookin and he sees his crush and this random person who is doing the absolute most to make a move on u and kōtarō just goes >:(

“tf is that- HEY-”

“bokuto-san-”

“AKAASHI LOOK AT WHATS JAPPENING OVER THERE”

“i know-”

“im gonna talk to that kid”

“no-”

konoha and da boyz had to do something to stop kōtarō from doing.... something about that

so anyways after the game, ur good friends with one of the guys in the team so u came over and keiji got really happy until he found the kid hitting on u following u like ?? hello where are u going

kōtarō sees u and he just sees the kid and homie goes “Y/N DIDNT UR BOYFRIEND DO SO WELL TODAY”

KEIJI ELBOWS THE FUUUUUCK OUT OF KŌTARŌ and just smiles at u just a lil and this KID was like “u have a boyfriend?”

nd u turn around to look at the kid and u just scoot all the way to keiji to hold his hand and homie blushed a lil when u did that and u go “yeah :3 sorry i didnt get the chance to tell u!”

kōtarō just pats keiji’s back and winks at him ): the bestest bud ever

[shhhushhh]

Glass Concrete

Mario: What were you doing on the VS Angels’ table?

Drago: *smirks* Nothing.

Mario: I figured it was nothing, since you are still mopping with us...

Drago: How the hell did you spot where I was when you were twisting your scraggy limbs all evening long?!

Mario: I see everything.

Jessica: Yeah, especially when there are chicks in the picture. Old habits die hard, eh?

Mario: That’s absolutely not true. It’s just that in my teen years I was no stranger to VS catalogs, as any other healthy dude, ahem...

Jessica: “Too much info” aleeeeert!

Mario: You asked for it, bellisima.

Michael: I see you are quite enjoying yourself, babe.

Sisi: I am! The night has turned much more delightful than I expected. Haven’t you, though?

Michael: I’m having a blast.

Victor: Thank you, Rita.

Margarita: For the major embarrassment?

Victor: What are you talking about? I had the most wonderful evening. It doesn't happen very often.

Margarita: And it doesn’t have to end.

Margarita: Listen, guys. The night is still young. How about we all go to my place for some sort of an after party?

Sisi: *scoffs* “All” of us?

Margarita: Yeah all of you, Silvia.

Michael: Come again?!

Drago: Da fuuuuuck??

Nelson: Exactly my thoughts.

Victor: That sounds awesome, if we are not overstepping our welcome, of course.

Nelson: *whispers* Cool and casual, cool and casual.

Drago:  Yeah... Sounds terrifying *clears throat* I mean, terrific.

Beginning Previous Next

[bjnurse]

A Life With Imperatore

I wanted to give Diavolo lovers/fuckers a happier ending. <3 I hope this helps soothe any broken hearts. This is part 1 of 2 (maybe 3?). [Please excuse my poor theory behind GER.]

Read this on A03 here!

Reader x Diavolo 

------

The screen before you shows a happy ending. The good guys won and Italy is safely in the hands of Giorno and Mista. You turn off the TV, but that ending didn’t leave you feeling happy. You’re filled with anxiety and dread over the way your favorite died… is still dying? Constantly? It’s heart-wrenching to see your favorite character die, but to see it in multiples is torture. 

“Thanks, Araki!” you sarcastically mutter as you walk into the kitchen for a snack. 

You glance out of the window to the back yard and see someone laying face down in the grass. Your heart pounds, flooding your veins with panic. Not because how the fuck did someone get into my back yard? But because you recognize him. Purple pants, pink spotted hair, and the tattoos on his arms that’s...

“What the actual fuck?” A cosplayer snuck into your backyard?

Before venturing outside, you grab the bat that you keep by the front door for self defense. Luckily, it’s never been used like that. 

You call out to the man but there’s no response. Nudging him with the bat warrants no response. You can’t help but to look at the muscular body before you and feel something… He does look like your husbando after all. Bending down, you turn him onto his back. You let out a shriek when he’s on his back and you see he looks exactly like Diavolo… You study the person before you. He’s breathing even if barely. 

Just leaving him out here isn’t an option. After thinking for a minute, you run inside of the house and grab a spare comforter. Once back outside, you lay it out next to him. “Sorry.” You plead as you roll him back onto his front onto the comforter then roll him over one more time so he’s in the center of it. With all your might (thank god you recently started going to the gym again), you drag him into the house. Once in the living room, you collapse, sitting next to him and catch your breath. You keep the bat close by you just in case. 

A bit of pink hair is out of place so you reach to move it, as you brush the strand from his forehead, you chuckle to yourself. The popular phrase comes to mind “kono Diavolo da” because after all “this is Diavolo!” You stop yourself… is it though? Is it really? 

As you stand to get a bottle of water, you think of how Gold Experience Requiem works as you understand it… If Gold Experience Requiem prevents Diavolo from reaching his end it could be taking him to alternate universes at each moment of death. That though sends a pang to your heart- all of his deaths. You take a bottle of water from the fridge. Thinking better of it, you grab an extra one. 

You sit down next to the man on the floor. If there is an infinite number of alternate universes then Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure is as real as our universe. If our perception of that universe as an anime or manga is two dimensional then maybe bringing Diavolo into our three dimensional universe breaks Gold Experience Requiem’s loop? It barely makes sense in your head but it’s all you can come up with if this in fact is Diavolo.

Looking at the handsome man again. You swallow hard… how many times have you thought of kissing those lips… how many times have you thought of… you let your eyes trail down his body. You shudder at the inappropriate thought. You reach again to move hair from his face when his eyes flutter open. He starts breathing heavy, his brow furrows, his inhuman green eyes fix on you and he lets out a whimper. He curls into a defensive ball and starts babbling in Italian. 

Fuuuuuck! It is him, but he’s pretty fucked up. You know better than to try to touch him. 

“English?” You say, “do you speak English?” 

He doesn’t respond to you, he continues to babble. You hope he understands, “I’m not going to hurt you. You’re safe here.” 

He looks at you through his hands, “Safe? Nowhere is safe.” He nearly pleads. His Italian accent is thick but you can understand him well enough. 

You want to tell him that you understand what he’s been through… but knowing Diavolo, that is the opposite of comforting. Instead, you sit with him. From what you have seen, death comes for him within minutes. If you can out wait that, maybe he’ll calm down. You can see his mind racing from the continuous torture that he’s been through. He’s exhausted and an absolute emotional mess. He needs time… which is ironic seeing how he’s always ran from time. 

You decide to take the same approach as you would a feral kitten- let them come to you. Stay calm, quiet and be patient. Placing the bottle of water in front of him, you assure him again that you won’t hurt him. You sit back and get out your phone. You open Spotify and find a Frank Sinatra playlist. That’s what a mob boss listens to right? Besides, you don’t want to freak him out with music from the future, but you try not to think about that. 

Absentmindedly, you softly sing some of the songs, as you sit and you wait. About the 5th song in, you see him relax. He moves his hands from his face and he looks at you, he studies you. 

You smile kindly. “Do you like this song? It’s one of my favorites.”  

Although you’re excited out of your mind that your favorite is in front of you, you play it cool as best you can. You drink from your bottle of water and gesture to his. Tentatively, he grabs for it, but he falls short. He tries again and reaches too far and knocks it over. He sits up and tries to take hold of it since it’s on the floor but he misses a few more times. You look at his face and don’t see a man. You see a boy who’s tired, scared and frustrated. You think of Doppio for a moment and feel another deep pain in your heart. You see tears starting to form in his eyes. In an instant the boy is gone and he looks at you with rage in his eyes, as he furiously yells at you in Italian. Although you can’t understand, you assume he’s accusing you of something with the way he’s gesturing. You look at him and put your hands up. “English please, Signore.” 

He blinks at the title and starts over, he takes a moment to recall what he’s learned. His thick accent only makes his voice even more alluring. “What have you done to me?” 

You chose your words carefully and try to speak clearly, “I haven’t done anything to you. I found you outside, you were passed out and I brought you into my house.” 

Diavolo looks at you unbelieving but not untrusting. He looks around at his surroundings then back at you. He tries again for the bottle of water and grasps it. Holding the bottle in front of him, you can see how shaky his hands are. It takes a few attempts, but he manages to get the cap off. He looks at you then back to the bottle as he tries to drink from it. His shaky hand stops short and he spills water onto his lap. He hisses something under his breath in Italian and you assume it’s a swear. 

You fetch a towel for him to clean up with. You reach out to hand it to him and he can’t quite seem to grab it from you. Instead, you take hold of his hand and put it into his palm. He clumsily dabs at himself while you go to the kitchen and return with a straw. Taking hold of the hand with the water bottle, you place the straw in it then sit down a few feet in front of him. 

Awkwardly, you start some small talk. Since you know he’s so uptight about giving details about himself, you tell him about yourself. You try to earn his trust by trusting in him. After an hour of sitting on the floor and talking your stomach grumbles. 

“I’m getting hungry, would you like to eat something?” You ask as you stand. Who knows how long it’s been since the last time the poor guy ate! 

He just nods and attempts to stand. He nearly falls over, but you catch him and help him to his feet. 

“Do you want to just stay here?” The concern is obvious in your voice, but you don’t try to hide it from him either.

Diavolo actually seems to blush, “I don’t want to be alone.” With his arm around your neck and you’re arm around his waist, you help him into a chair at the kitchen table. You place a new water bottle in front of him, but this time you put a straw in it right away to make things easier for him. 

Your one sided conversation picks up again, but he’s more attentive this time and asks questions and comments. Once dinner is ready, you sit a plate and utensils in front of him. He has the same struggle with his fork and his food that he had earlier. 

Without asking, you sit next to him and cut his food and offer it to him. You know if you offered to help like this, he would just turn you down. He’s a proud man who’s had his ego nearly demolished. He accepts your actions and eats with your assistance. You talk more and you can see by the time he asks for seconds that he’s feeling better. 

When you’re both done eating, you place the dishes in the sink. Right now, Diavolo is your concern, you can worry about dirty dishes later. You help your guest to the couch and you sit and talk with him more. The more you talk the more he opens up. By now, he shares little stories or small pieces of his life. You both lose track of time and it’s late before you know it. 

Diavolo said he’d sleep on the couch, but you insist he sleeps in the bed with you. You can tell by the dejected way he made the offered that he honestly does not want to be alone. This is made even more apparent by his insistence to accompany you to make sure all the doors and windows are closed for the night. There’s that Diavolo paranoia that you know so well. 

You help him to sit on the bed. Rummaging through your drawers, you find something comfortable he can sleep in. An ex boyfriend's t-shirt and basketball shorts is all you can manage. You place the items next to him and remove yourself to the bathroom to change yourself. 

Upon returning, Diavolo sits on the bed, shorts/t-shirt in hand with a dejected, pleading look on his face. Getting his bearings here is really straining on him. He went from being an Imperatore in his own eyes to being unable to dress himself or even feed himself. He doesn’t even need to ask for your help. You won’t put him through that. You know there’s nothing wrong with needing help, but if he asked for it, it would be another blow to his already shattered ego. 

With a kind smile, you take the shorts from him. You stay as focused and as platonic as possible as you unbutton his pants. Pull them off of his hips and down his legs, you can feel your face hot as you’re probably blushing against your will. You remove his shoes, pants, and help him step into the shorts. You look up at him as you pull the shorts onto him and he’s blushing as much as you are. You see shame in his eyes. Once so proud, he hates having someone take care of him like this. Once so proud, he hates having someone take care of him, especially like this. In his adult life, he had acquired an incredible social status and influence. He had worked so hard to build his life, but that is all gone now. 

With the shorts pulled up to his thighs, you help him stand and you put them over his hips. Once he’s seated again, you put the shirt on him and adjust the shoulders to sit properly on his muscular form. Your hands rest here and you smile shyly at him. He looks up at you with gratitude tinted with shame. 

You swallow hard and tell him, “It’s alright. I’m going to take care of you. I’ll make sure you’re okay.” You help him into bed. Turning off the light, you hear Diavolo gasp at the darkness. You flip the light on again. “Are you ok?”

“Yes.” he says automatically, but you realize, he’s probably seen a lot of “darkness” lately. Turning on the bathroom light and closing the door over seems like a good enough compromise. A small beam of light streams into the bedroom and Diavolo is calmed enough. 

Walk to the other side of the bed, you get in. You can’t help but feel your heart pound in your chest having this handsome man so close to you in your bed. You smile to yourself but you know nothing can come of it. He’s far too delicate at the moment. You lay there trying to calm the thoughts in your mind to welcome sleep when Diavolo speaks up. 

“Cara?” 

“Hmmm?” You reply sleepily. Turning to him, you see he’s sitting up and looking at you. His green eyes seem to glow in the dim light. 

“Is this okay?” He gently moves your arm as he lays against you with his head on your chest. 

“Of course!” You reply trying not to sound excited. You try to will the pounding in your heart to soften but you know it’s no good. 

He rests his arm around your waist and your hand meets his bicep and you let your thumb rub circles into it. 

“I’m sorry. I just feel so alone.” As he speaks these words, your thoughts go to precious Doppio and that sting of pain stabs your heart again. You hold back the tears that want to weld up in your eyes. 

Trying to keep the shakiness from your voice, you reply, “Don’t worry. You’re not alone.”

[ori-flails]

Rewatching Guardian - Episode 05 Part 1/2

Episode List || Episode 04 || Part 2

SPOILERS for upto episode 40, SPOILERS for the novel.

The first translation is by AvenueX. The second translation is from the episode on youtube.

How tf could Zhao Yunlan tell this was Shen Wei??

What’s the logic here? It’s not like the SID/Zhao Yunlan’s going to meet Shen Wei in the teachers’ dorm. So Shen Wei moving out doesn’t change much, does it? Am I missing something here?

What are you, a cat??

How tf did he jump on top of the table from the floor like that???

Da Qing’s a wonderful influence. xD

Yeah, he’s happier now that there’s Xiao Guo. xD

This is so precious. I missed out before by not paying attention to this precious interaction.

For all we know, Chu Shuzhi’s not reallyt loyal to Zhao Yunlan at this point, right? He’s here cuz of Hei Pao Shi and hasn’t gotten attached to Xiao Guo yet.

But you can’t convince me that he doesn’t have some level of respect and fondness towards Zhao Yunlan for him to have survived the mess that comes with working under him.

Also, Chu Shuzhi’s so perfect in all his feral beauty ugh

...oh my god *facepalm*

Das creepy, Shen Wei.

And it’s creepier cuz of the unnecessary ominous music.

Shen Wei’s scarce appearance in this episode actually upsets me so much because of the suit he’s wearing. He looks so fine, I can’t.

This is my favourite look of his, clothes wise. The only contender for this would be the rich blue suit from the episodes where Shen Wei was chained to Ye Zun’s pillar.

I’m starting to think Shen Wei has some sort of illusion related power that he uses to stay lowkey.

Him taking off his glasses in certain scenes can definitely mean he’s being authentic instead of wearing his Professor Shen mask. But I also wonder if this is a visible indication of him letting his illusion crack a little. So others, specially Dixingren, can feel his power and know he’s something more than a simple human Professor.

Zhu Jiu had said earlier that Shen Wei represses his power/doesn’t use his powers to his fullest ability to stay hidden.

Oh no... Oh nooooo...

I hope this isn’t what I think it is...

Wu Tian’en is unwell. Whatever it is that’s making him unwell can effect Shen Wei too despite the huge difference in power levels if Shen Wei’s worried.

Does staying in Haixing cause Dixingren to experience very slow, gradual light energy poisoning? Is this why Wu Tian’en’s weaker than before and ill?

Assuming the Sundial exchange, Ye Zun, all that doesn’t happen, would Shen Wei still have died because of light energy on Haixing? It would take far longer than 20 years if that’s what it took to mess with Wu Tian’en. But still...

And the implications of this is terrible for other Dixingren that escaped to Haixing, some probably really weak in terms of dark energy power levels, and none stronger than Shen Wei.

Again, assuming what happened at the end didn’t happen, this would mean that no Dixingren can permanently shift to Haixing.

So what about the undercover Dixingren that end up stranded in Haixing after the portal/gateway gets sealed at the end of the show?

If light energy from Haixing messes with Dixingren the same way Dark energy from visiting Dixing messes with Zhao Yunlan, a Haixingren, then Wu Tian’en getting sick over the course of 20 years is not the norm and he was actually pretty strong 20 years ago.

Fuuuuuck this... this is awful. Assuming NONE of the Haixing-Dixing complications existed, Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan would still not be able to have a true happy ending.

Why must the show make it so difficult for fanfic writers that write fix-it fics and the readers that live off of them? No amount of time-travelling can fix this!

This is one of the topics I’ll probably discuss in its own post.

Ugh I feel awful now.

There is so much here in this one phone call... So much saturated in this one damn minute... I feel like my head will implode. (Or that could just be the inexplicable headache I have had the whole day but eh)

“Professor Shen, where are you?” - This was Zhao Yunlan floundering again. I was too busy being worried for and about Shen Wei the first time to realize.

The little pause after Shen Wei points out that of course he’d be at his office because Zhao Yunlan called his office landline is Zhao Yunlan trying to recover the situation lmaoooo

I swear to the seven realms, my heart did the weird flippy thing on behalf of Shen Wei when Zhao Yunlan called him by his name.

My heart did the flippy thing so hard, I felt like I needed to kick my brain into function again lol.

Kudos to Shen Wei for not losing it. Poor thing’s had too much practice at not losing it during emotionally overwhelming situations.

Bless him.

Zhao Yunlan really is too happy to be talking to Shen Wei. This feels like flirting and I see it all the more clearly watching it the second time.

And I bet after this conversation, Shen Wei probably couldn’t go back to his work that night. xD

Let’s play a game. Let’s keep count of how many cases there are in total in the show that had similar themes to the final revelation regarding Ye Zun’s motivations.

Let’s keep a track of how many of these dumb cases contributed to lessening the impact of the YeZun-ShenWei backstory.

Because while I had noticed that had happened, I didn’t notice the similarities this early on. I thought the sole culprit was the fruit-seller-Hallow-brush case.

But this case is even more similar actually.

Person A is wronged by a third party, and suffered a great deal believing person B never came back for them.

Person B believed person A to be dead after desperately trying to find person A, then they grieved.

They met a long time later, and person A holds resentment towards person B and gets upset that person B seems to prioritize others over them.

But then the resentment’s somewhat dealt with once they talk about what had actually happened.

There are differences, obviously. And I do think this recipe for a backstory/villain motivation can be used repeatedly if it’s done well. But Guardian trashed it.

An example of repeated themes for backstories being done well could be MDZS: Jin Guangyao, Xue Yang, even Wei Wuxian. Cuz poverty and the class segregation.

(Continues in part 2)

[mrxlulu]

BIIIIIIIIIIIIICH

what da fuuuuuck

Tha gays are on fire...

it really is FRIGAY.

[reallyautomaticvoid]

Calling It: Good Intentions: Chapter 8: Dinner for Two?

Summary:

Dinner is had. Jason and Damian 'bond'.

Author’s notes:

Who’s ready for an uncomfortable dinner party?

TW: angst

“He’s late. Tim’s never late, Babs,” Dick’s voice floats through the door. 

Leaning against the wall, Tim stares Bab’s door, chewing on his tongue. 

It doesn't really surprise him. 

Not in the grand scheme of things. 

Dick and Barbara had been dating on and off since Dick had been Robin. And he vaguely remembers Gar mentioning that they were on again.

So, it doesn’t surprise him that Dick’s here.

What does surprise Tim is the happy couple are arguing? 

About him. 

“Maybe he came, heard you and then left,” Barbara snaps at Dick.

Well, I was thinking about it.

 Dick ignores Babs. “I should go look for him.”

“No, you shouldn’t.” 

Tim closes his eyes and lightly pounds his head against the wall at Bab’s anger. 

What does she have to be mad about? Fuuuuuck, I hope I’m not about to walk into one of their fights.

Under Barbara’s anger, Tim senses something else. 

Worry? What’s she got to be worried about? 

Tim pauses rapping his head against the wall when he hears Barbara sigh. “Dick, he’ll get here when he gets here. Don’t worry so much or you're going to wrinkle,” Dick snort. Tim rolls his eyes. “Why don’t you go start some coffee for Tim, hmm? That way, there’ll be coffee for when he gets here.” 

Tim can’t make out the mumbled reply but hears the sound of shuffling of feet. After a few moments of silence, Tim hears Barbara’s voice. “You coming in or what?”

Of course she knew I was here.

Tim opens his eyes, suppressing a jump when he sees Babs staring at him from the doorway. 

One of Tim’s best CEO neutral expressions slides down his face. 

Babs gives him an unimpressed look. “If you keep your face like that for too long it might freeze that way and trust me, it looks stupid so don’t do that.” 

“You didn’t say Dick was going to be here,” Tim kept his face blank. 

“No, I didn’t,” she airily agrees. “But I also didn’t say he wasn’t going to be here.”

Tim inclines his head, Touché. “Let’s take a look at your hacker problem then, shall we?”

“After dinner. I’m starving.”  Barbara wheels over to Tim, grabbing one of the bags of food, which numbly Tim releases before leading him into the apartment. 

Moving forward here, Babs. Thanks for all of the help though.

Tim shakes his head. “Babs, I don’t have a lot of time—”

“Tim,” she interrupts, “You paid for it. Shut up and eat.” 

“Really though, Babs, I’ve only got like an hour before I have to go.”

“We’ll talk and eat.” The voice comes from the doorway. 

Motherfucker. 

 “Coffee?” Tim feels his spine stiffen.

Tim forces his muscles to loosen into a relax fighting stance before turning to face Dick who’s holding a cup of black coffee which, admittedly, smells amazing. Tim eyes the mug, weighing the pros and cons. 

Dick holds out the mug for Tim to take. “It’s not poisoned, Tim, I swear.”

Tim keeps his expression blank while looking at Dick but accepted the coffee. Dick grins at Tim, which confuses him even more. 

Why the fuck is Dick grinning at me like that? Tim frowns as he sips his coffee. 

Tim does his very best not to violently spit out the ‘coffee’.  After being exiled from the Bats for so long, Tim forgot a cardinal rule: 

Dick can’t cook. 

Tim flashes back to when Dick almost burnt down the Manner when trying to make toast. Toast.

“I like butter on my toast, Alfred. How was I supposed to know that you should put it on until after it’s done toasting?”

Dick grins at Alfred who purses his lips while emptying the fire extinguisher onto the burning toaster. 

Since then, Alfred banished Dick from the kitchen. Last time Tim checked, Dick couldn’t get a glass of water without supervision.

Dick frowns, “no good?” 

Did you even bother to use a coffee filter? I swear there are coffee grinds in here.

Tim weighs his answer before saying, “I’ve had worse.”

Sure, Dick had made those cups too but he doesn’t need to know that. 

“That’s great,” Dick grins again. 

“Is it though,” Babs glares at Dick before taking the last of the food from the containers. “Dick, can you go grab us some dishes,” 

Dick nods before disappearing. 

Barbara looks at Tim. “It’ll be fine. Don’t worry.” 

Before Tim could assure Barbara that he is fine (or ask her what the hell she’s talking about; he isn’t sure which) Dick's back with plates, cutlery, and two sodas. 

It’s amazing how fast Dick is sometimes.

*     *     *

“And you honestly think Damian is going to put up with this? This is the same Damian that I’ve met, right? Because I don’t buy that for a second.”

Jason sighs. This isn’t how he wanted to spend his dinner date with Roy. Well, telecommunicated dinner date but semantics.

Shit, he was startin’ ta sound like Replacement.

“Dami says he’ll give it a shot.” Jason could hear Roy’s disbelief in the ringing silence. “It’s got B’s—and more importantly Dick’s—gold star so ‘course he’s gonna put up with it.”

“What did Bruce bribe him with?”

Jason snorts. “No clue. I’m guessin’ an elephant.”

Roy’s snorts. “Speaking of Dick,” Jason groans which Roy ignores, “how are you two doing?”

Jason grunts.

“Yeah, I’m going to need a few nouns, verbs and hey, if you’re feeling really adventurous, I’ll even take an adjective.”

Jason glares at Roy.

Roy smirks back.

“It’s healthy to talk about your feeling, Jay.”

“Fuck you.”

“Well, that would be a challenge with us being on opposite coasts but maybe if your good I will the next time I see you.”

Rolling his eye, Jason huffs at Roy, “Dick Dick. There ain’t any reasonin’ with ‘em.”

“Still, you were pretty pissed at him when you found out about how he gave Damian Robin.”

“‘Course I was. Dickhead had no idea what he was doin’. I do.”

“Have you tried talking to Tim about it?”

“Da fuck would I do that for?”

Roy sighs in dat stupid fucking way he always does when he thinks Jason’s being think on purpose. “Maybe he’s okay with the way it all went down? Maybe he moved passed it?”

Oh, you sweet summer child. Not even your that naïve. 

“Sure, just like you were cool when Ollie drop ya ta pick up a new Speedy.”

Roy sucks in a breath like he’d been punched. “Fair point. And, also, fuck you.”

“Sorry,” Jason mumbles, not meeting Roy’s eyes, because, yeah, it had been a low blow. Sure, Roy and Oliver were getting along now but that was more for Lian’s sake than anything else.

“S’okay,” Roy pauses, searching for the right words. “My point is, you should talk to Tim before you go blowing anything up with Dick, okay? Besides, didn’t you want to talk to him about whatever happened to him last month?”

Jason nods, because, yeah he did want to do that. “Fine, fine. I’ll check on Replacement soon, alright? Now, how’s Lian?”

Roy grins at the topic change before going starting to tell Jason all about Lian first ballet lesson. 

Apparently, Jason’s niece (Roy’s words) made her teacher cry when Lian asked why she couldn’t have an Arsenal tutu.

*     *     *

Dinner’s awkward. It’s that simple. Tim won’t even look at Dick and every time he tries to say something, Babs shakes her head. 

Dick knows she’s pissed at him. He knows she doesn’t like his plan. But really, she the one who said that they needed more data about Tim and this is their best plan. 

Okay, even Dick knows he’s grasping at straw now.

Meanwhile, Babs and Tim are discussing the new hacker. 

Babs thinks it someone new to the scene.

Somebody who the Bats don’t know about.

Somebody good.

Tim agrees.

“How’s school, Tim?” 

Tim and his blank mask look up from his lettuce wrap he’d been picking at all night. 

When the hell did that become a thing? Because Dick over having dinner with this Pod Person claiming to be Tim.

“Good. I’m almost done with my master's program.”

When the hell did Tim get a bachelor degree?

“That’s great Tim!  Computer Science?” 

“MBA. The board is on the fence with me enough as it is. I thought this would make it better.”

Dick can’t remember Tim ever having any interest in getting a Business degree. 

“Nice.”

Tim hums in agreement, sipping his coffee.

“That reminds me,” Tim’s eyes whip around to meet Dick’s, “I wanted to apologize.”

Tim leans back in his chair, staring at Dick. “For what? You haven’t done anything.”

Gee, I don’t know, Timmy. Maybe the fact that I was so worried about letting Dami fall off the map I let you do it instead. Maybe I just don’t like that Jason calls you more often than I do. Maybe I just feel bad about everything. Maybe because you’re right, I haven’t done anything.  

Dick doesn’t say any of these things. Those sins are going to have to be dealt with one at time. When Tim trust him again.

What Dick does say is, “I shouldn't have dropped by your office like that. I’m sorry.”

Tim is staring at Dick like he’s a Millennium Prize Problem and Tim knows he’s not going to solve it. 

Yet.

“It’s fine, Dick. Water under the bridge.”

Dick does his best to not wince.

“There was something I wanted to ask you about though.” Tim hums, not meeting his eyes. “Tam said something odd.”

Tim’s eye twitches.

Huh. That the most emotions I’ve seen out of you all night there Baby Bird.

“Which was?”

Babs is giving Dick her best, shut up. Shut up NOW look.

But you know the saying: in for a penny….

“She asked me where I was last month,” anyone who isn't a Bat would have missed Tim’s hard swallow before meeting Dick’s eyes.

“I had a tech-free weekend at the Tower. Call it a staycation if you will. Tam got worried when she couldn’t get ahold of me. Forgot to tell her I was doing it.” Tim gives a Dick a nonchalant shrug. “You know how it is.”

Which all seems…perfectly reasonable. Something that any normal person would do. Any reasonable person should be able to handle that as an answer. 

And yet…

“What happened in Iraq?”

This time, Bullock wouldn’t have been able to miss Tim’s flinch.

“Lots of things happen in Iraq every day, Dick. For one, there’s some evidence that it was the home to a thriving pre-historic—”

“When were you in Iraq?”

Because, Dick can’t find anything about Tim being in Iraq. Ever. 

And it’s pissing him off.

Just like this whole dinner is making Dick angry.

“Dick,” Babs hisses at him from across the table.

“Who says I’ve ever been to Iraq?”

“Tam.”

“Hmm,” Tim leans back in his chair, sipping his coffee, expression blank. “You know, I don’t recall.” Tim stands up, placing his empty coffee cup on the table. “This has been fun, but I got to go. Babs, if you want to forward me the files, I’ll take a look at them.” 

“Sure Tim, thanks for dinner.”

“Wait, Tim,” Tim pauses, turning to face Dick with one cocked eyebrow. 

Shit.  

How’s Dick going to get Tim come back?

“We’re having a movie night tomorrow night. It’s going to be Raiders, apparently, Dami never seen it.”

“Okay, I’ll cover your patrol. Thanks for the heads up.”

“No!  That’s not what I meant. I was inviting you.” 

Tim looks like he’d rather be Indiana in the snake pit.

“Love to, can’t. I have to run down a lead on a weapons dealer for the Titans. Maybe next time,” Tim rattles off. 

Dick ignores Babs’ subtle pinch for him to stop. “Come after; you know how long movie nights can go. Hell, we’ll probably still be having movie night tomorrow morning.”

“I don’t know how long getting the intel will take to get, Dick. Next time.”

“Then let me come with you. Two sets of eyes are better than one.” 

“Sorry. It’s a need to know case,” Tim shrugs which Dick in the room buys. “It’d take too long to get you up to speed. Besides, it’s a one-person recon mission. Easy peasy.” 

“Then how about we patrol after you're done?”

“Because you just told me you’re having a movie night with Damian.” Tim’s as calm as if he were in the middle of negotiating a hostage release.

Tim holds Dick’s gaze while Barbara inches closer to Tim. She softly touches his shoulder. “Tim, we know your busy but—”

“But what?” Tim looks at Babs, shrugging out of her grasp. “Yeah, I’ve been busy. Running an international business, the Titian, and being Red take up some time. I’ve been doing it for what: Three years now? Why the sudden concern?”

“We’ve always been concerned about you.” 

“Sure. I still have to go, though.” 

“Tim wait—”

But it’s no use. Tim out the door before Dick could open his mouth.

After what feels like a month, Babs shakes her head. “I can’t believe you did that.”

“Babs, please—”

“No, Dick. Sooner or later he’s going to figure it out and he’s going to be pissed.”

Dick sighs. “Yeah, I know.”

*     *     *

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

Tim snickers, pulling off his shirt. He always finds it funny when Con starts swearing. True, the more time Conner spends around the Titans, the more his vocabulary…expands. 

Tim called Conner the instances he’d gotten back to his apartment. Conner, for his part, is horrified Dick ambushed and tried to guilt-trip Tim at dinner.

“Nope,” Tim replies, popping the ‘p’. “Shoulda seen it coming in retrospect.”

“Yeah but still, what a dick.”

“That is his name; don’t wear it out.” Tim tosses his shirt onto the ground. It lands with an odd clinking noise. Tim glances at the shirt before freezing. 

Moonlight shines down from his window to reveal a shiny something on the sleeve of his t-shirt. 

Tim picks up his shirt, staring. “Son of a bitch. They put a tracker on me.”

Conner, who’d been listing the many ways Dick is a dick, stops mid-sentence. “Whoa, whoa, wait. Are you joking? Because, fuck dude, that’s not a very funny joke.”

“No, I’m not. They put a fucking tracker on my shirt. Shiiiiiiiiiiit,” Tim draws out the last word while Con hums in agreement. 

Tim flicks on the lights, inspecting the tracker for a minute. It almost looks like a sticker you’d give a little kid. 

The tracker is a stander no-frills GPS that he sometimes uses. The design lent itself for short-term use. He rotates it and swears again.

“It has the Birds logo on it.”

The dead air coming from the other end of the line is heavy.

“Why would Barbara want to put a tracker on you?” Tim wrinkles at the soft tone. It’s one Superboy uses for hurt, lost children not Tim.

“Who knows? Probably so she could track where I was staying. None of the Bats knew where my set up in Gotham is at the moment.”

“I thought you said Batman came to visit you?”

“He did,” Tim agrees. “But he’s Batman and this is Gotham. I’d be surprised if he doesn’t know who lives in every apartment. I doubt he’d share though,” Tim planted his back against the wall before sinking down. “What’s with all the sudden interest? We’d been doing fine. The Batfam doing their thing; I’ve been doing mine. They’d call, I’d come. They’d need help, I’d help. They had each other while I had—” Tim stops there. 

Tim doesn’t want to finish that thought. 

“While you have us,” Conner finishes.

“Yeah, while I have you.” Tim takes a minute to compose himself. “While I’m fine.” 

Conner, thankfully, doesn’t say a word.

Tim feels a drop of water fall onto his bare chest. He glances down, brushing away the tear.

*     *     *

If Hood forces Robin to observe one more happy family, Robin is going to shoot him. 

With Hood’s own guns. 

Repeatedly. 

Although, that would anger Father.

And disappoint Grayson. 

It would also cause Pennyworth to sigh.

Robin, however, is beginning to think there would not be a way around it.

“Look at ‘em, Robin. Whatcha see?” 

Robin exhales before peering through his domino at the cramped, grimy apartment. There are two small children sitting on a filthy couch. Empty food wrappers surround them. 

The younger of the two, a boy, approximately five, appears to be crying. 

The older one, a girl, ten, is trying (and failing) to pacify him. 

No adults to be seen.

“Tt. A textbook case of child neglect. We should alert the proper authorities and be on our way.” 

Hood ignores him.

The door in the apartment they had been observing burst opened. The two children on the couch jump.

Robin tenses.

Maybe this will not be as boring as I thought.

The looks of surprise on the children’s faces melt into joy; the pair run-up to the man who’d just entered the apartment, jumping into his arms. 

The children and the man hug for so long that Robin worries about their oxygen levels. 

The man picks up a child in each arm and carries them from the room.

Hood turns to Robin, “so, what did you learn?”

Robin stares nonplus at Hood. 

“Hood, I don’t see the point—”

Hood tuts. 

He tuts at Damian before turning away. 

“Next.” 

Robin glares at Hood. “Hood, I am not—”

“Yeah, yer are,” Hood grabs Robin by the cape, dragging him two roofs over. 

“Unhand me at once, Hood! I am capable of walking on my own!”

“No shit ya can walk. But I’m teaching here so shut up and learn.” 

Hood finally stops on a corner of a roof. It looks over a small market that appears to be empty. Hood indicates to Robin to watch the storefront. Robin huffs but begrudgingly watches. 

He sees a young woman, who appears to be pregnant coming out of the store. She hovels along until she’s halfway down the block when she stops and looks around before carefully pulling out something from under her shirt. 

Is that—bread?

Robin straightens. 

Finally, something worthy of his talents as a Robin. “We need to catch her. She just stole that—”

“Nope,” Jason pops the ‘p’, “that’s not what we’re gonna do. Watch.” Hood catches Robin’s cape in his hand. Robin struggles, trying to escape Hood’s grasp. 

He really must speak with Father about having this liability from his uniform.

“Release me at once, Hood.”

Jason ignores him, choosing instead to stare down towards the criminal. Robin glances down, freezing. 

Three teenagers now surround the young woman. 

Instead of looking frightened, she’s giving them a half-smile, holding out the food she had stolen to teenagers. 

The teenagers look wearily from the woman to the food. 

Even from here, Robin could tell that the teenagers were far too skinny. 

Their bones suck out like Drake’s when he was working on a case shortly after Brown’s (fake) death and forgot to eat for a week. 

Grayson and Pennyworth had force Drake to eat and he’d been benched for a month after.

The closes teenager reaches out, snacking the food from the young woman before disappears back down the alleyway. 

The young woman’s shoulders dip slightly. 

She looks…sad?

Why would she be sad?

She gives herself a small shake before trudging away.

Damian stares, nonplussed at the now empty street, “she stole that food.”

“Yep,” Hood popping the ‘p’ again.

“And then gave it away.”

“U-huh.”

“I…do not understand.”

“What don’tcha get, Baby Bat?” 

“She did all of the work. She risked everything.”

“She did,” Hood agrees.

“She should be the one eating.”

“What about the kids?” 

Damian straightens. “They should not get food until they can take it for themselves.” 

Hood tuts. 

Hood tuts at Robin. 

Again.

Robin glared up at Hood.

“Dat’s Ra’s talkin’. Let’s go to the next one.”

Robin groans. 

Notes:

Show of hands, who thinks Jason's going to be a good teacher?

Thanks for reading!