#what do you mean “denial”

[ginnyluna]

Jason in his NRU jacket, living his best life as a uni student cause i can do what i want and you can't stop me

Finished version of these happy sketches

(PS: i'm still obsessed)

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I want it back / I drag its dead weight forward.

[imminent-danger-came]

2x02 // 3x01 // 3x03 // 3x13 // 4x12

Team huddle!

[tagzpite]

EGGHEAD ACE

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompts 228

"Dad."

"I am not your father, ghostling- and you cannot attempt to use that to take my sword."

"… Mom!"

"Oh Realms help me, No-"

[simplydnp]

totally normal about the 'wedding?' response continuing to evolve even though it's only been 5 shows. at this point i'm convinced the grand plan behind tit is to convince dan via exposure therapy that he's allowed to want to get married

[fairyroses]

He was about to kill you, Lex. Or divulge something you didn't want me to know.

— SMALLVILLE, "Forever" (4.21)

+ bonus from "Arctic" (7.20):

[chessb0r3d]

i cracked the code.

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

Okay challenge mode. You are a therapist and Eridan Ampora from Homestuck has just walked right out of his intro page into your office. How do you fix him?

put him and karkat in a room with a pile of stuff and tell them they can't leave until they've jumped into it and talked about their feelings

[asytho]

Every Vampire needs his cool Vampire outfits.

[princyvish]

modern asl... *bawls my eyes out*

[thepoisonroom]

'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.

I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.

About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'

-Casey Plett, Consciousness

[askblueandviolet]

macaque, denial is a river in egypt..

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[lovesickeros]

lord its so dark in here the sahara desert of tsaritsa content you are like a shining oasis. your characterisation of her compels me & mihoyo would be hard pressed to top it imo.!! caaaaan i humbly request yr thoughts on her first meeting w a reader of any kind, or maybe even multiple kinds (sagau, sagau god au, isekai, etc) if you so desire...

it really is like a desert here. being the fan of a character we aren't getting until the last damn nation is driving me up a wall but i will persevere bc if nothing else i support morally bankrupt women in media. we r in a severe drought over here but i do my best. unfortunately nothing i say is ever coherent so pull out your translation notes its abt 2 be messy

also this got out of hand but thats bc first meetings w the tsaritsa are tricky to write + a LOT of her characterization lies in deeper exploration then just surface level yknow...NOT A DIG AT YOU this is just my excuse for rambling. gently pats the tsaritsa she can hold so much complexity i do not have the word count to delve into it completely :]

gonna talk cult au for a bit here though because that's 99% of my content. and honestly? she thrives in sub au's of the cult au like villain au + imposter au. it's basically made for her. i mean, early days, the imposter au had been going around for a little while but one of the first few ideas was the Fatui taking reader in so like. it kinda technically actually was. pretty sure cult au Tsaritsa popped up because of the imposter au. a lot of it's writers kinda left though which. man am i getting old or.

anyway.

there isn't much of a chance her first impression is all that positive. at best it's usually neutral, imo, but rarely if ever positive. specifically because i view the Tsaritsa as someone who isn't as fanatical as most of the acolytes typically are towards the creator. she's not exactly going to worship the ground you walk on unlike a certain geo lizard. which is partially why i think she thrives in the sub au's i mentioned.

imposter au, for example. she meets you at your lowest. there's no gaudy extravagance or pampering from the acolytes waiting for you because your own acolytes have turned on you. for all intents and purposes you aren't a "god" at all. which is why i don't think she meshes well with normal cult au reader. the Fatui are made up of outcasts, basically, and imposter au slots right in just perfectly. you're weak, at your lowest, when you meet the Fatui in the imposter au. and the Fatui can help you, too.

a mutual exchange, really. the Tsaritsa sees a tool she can use to one up the rest of the nations and especially Archons, and she has no qualms about you using her and the Fatui in turn. you both want something out of it, after all. whether you just want to be safe from the rest of the acolytes, or you want revenge, or whatever else..she'll give you the power to fulfill it, and she gains the strongest piece on the chessboard when all is said and done.

the best way i can describe the first meeting is "practical", i suppose. she sees an opportunity in you. the ultimate gamble. because if she "saves" you, and you dont trust anyone else because they tried to kill you, well..she holds all the cards, doesn't she?

but the Tsaritsa, imo, is just as capable of being just as fanatical towards you as anyone else. she just won't worship you as the creator. but as yourself? clawing your way back to your divine power and taking back what belongs to you? the Tsaritsa is, to me, a character who's character flourishes in long-term fics more because she changes a LOT between "just met reader" and after having been with reader for some time. she's practically apathetic at the beginning but a lot of her character, in my characterization, shines through LONG after the first meeting.

[m3r1m4r5u333]

Let me ramble a bit about the Cycle of denial and love that Buddie is.

Hmm... I just realized I haven't posted about another line that has popped up several times.

"You don't ever give up, do you?"

Eddie says this after Buck sees him panic in 5x02, and keeps asking questions.

Are you sleeping or just pretending? Any chest pains?

....

Eddie ends up admitting that the trigger for the panic was the "ready-made family" he ended up in. On the surface it's just about his girlfriend but...

"Somehow we became a ready-made family.. And I... I don't know if I'm ready for that."

They talk about loving someone who is not all the way in, how it hurts. Buck tells Eddie to tell Ana that the feelings aren't requited because one-sided love hurts.

This is right after Buck tells Eddie that Buck has "been Ana". (On the surface referring to his own romances, but... He has just recently been pretty much replaced, and pushed out of the Díaz home. Denied. He's been there, with all his heart... But apparently the only one all the way in because he was basically sent packing.)

Eddie: Somehow we became a ready-made family and I... I don't know if I'm ready for that.

They talk some more, Eddie keeps trying to avoid his feelings, and just "stick it out" with Ana anyway.

Buck is frustrated, disgusted. He snidely tells Eddie to "go back to sleep"... "No need to decide right now. Not like we're going home anytime soon..."

-------

So is that it, is buddie dead, finished?

Nope. It just went dormant. It cannot die because of who they are. Buck never gives up. And Eddie admires that, loves him for it.

That's why Eddie even added Buck to his will.

Because Buck needs someone to tie him to life. Because Buck's a fighter, because he never gives up... And because Buck needs to realise that he's not expendable. He matters. He's loved.

It's a whole thing. Buck never gives up! Buck acts like he's expendable. But he's wrong.

Giving up... There are several scenes in which this is discussed. Incapable of giving up... That's who Buck is.

And that innocent "I don't even know what that means." line that repeats... Which happens when someone is just denying the truth. Denial, denial, denial.

I think 7x05 wanted us to REMEMBER this persistence, resilience, that Buck has. It keeps his love for Eddie alive. He does not give up, truly, even if it seems like he has.

The line pops up when Hen is saving a dog, but that line... It's about Buck. It's about undying love.

Hen saves a dog which initially looks dead, but then twitches.

A firefighter watching the scene comments in amazement...

You never give up, do you?

It's reminding us that nothing has really changed. The "dog" looked dead, but it wasn't, and it didn't take long to revive it.

The dog is called Rosie.

Remember the bachelor episode? Who do you choose? Who gets the rose?

The dog is a "rose". Allegory to undying, true love. True love doesn't die that easily. Give it some water, it revives.

Much like Buck never gives up and keeps bothering Eddie, who keeps trying to sleep... and avoid his true feelings. The latest disturbance to the sleep is this, Buck coming out.

See that sadness when Buck says he's relieved? Those are feelings, hiding under the surface. And Eddie's line? A lie, too. Things have just changed.