#denial is a river in egypt

[yesifuckfryingpans]

Was reading one of my fave webtoons (The Doctors Are Out) and this one frame screamed zosan so... SHITPOST TIME!

I could've put more effort in but... nah. Im too fucking lazy. Dont mind the shitty colors.

[sanshiori]

Cha Cha real smooth

[thechy-fychannel]

"House isn't my— we're not gay."

"if you die, I'm alone."

"probably because of my secret, very unconscious desire to get Wilson into my bedroom."

"you were thinking about Wilson while we were having sex? That's so cool, me too!"

"I thought your Wilson fetish was over?"

"I need you to tell me that you love me."

"you have everything you need right here. We both do."

"I just want to enjoy my last five months with family and friends." "Friends or friend?"

"what does that mean? You're done with Wilson? As long as Wilson is alive, you're not done with Wilson."

"I want a threesome." "Shouldn't we try a twosome first?"

"I'm dead, Wilson. How do you want to spend your last five months?"

[nostalgic-shamefest]

IS IT?

He really said that with a straight face huh

[incorrect-our-flag-means-death]

Ed, at Izzy’s funeral: I need a moment with him.

Everyone, leaving: Of course.

Ed, leaning over Izzy’s coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you’re not dead.

Izzy: Yeah, no shit.

[icantdrawrt]

HaWkMaNs MaRrIeD

Like this entire comic series isn’t Batman shamelessly flirting with Superman

I see you gay boy

[robin374]

alastor x daughter reader angst If you do, you will be very happy. The reader does not know that he is his father and when he finds out, Alastora will be very angry. PLSSSS

ehem thanks <3

𝔊𝔢𝔱 𝔞𝔴𝔞𝔶 𝔣𝔯𝔬𝔪 𝔪𝔢

ℭ𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔞𝔠𝔱𝔢𝔯 : Alastor x Reader, platonic

𝔑𝔬𝔱𝔢𝔰: Hola. I got too carried away sorry if it's too long. BRUH I JUST FINISHED AND I PASSED THE WORD LIMIT, let me just do a part 2 LMAO

Back when you were alive, you were an orphan. You couldn't remeber who your parents were, but you were angry. You were angry at everything and everyone, if they didn't love you when you were born why didn't they kill you? Was it necessary to abandon you? You didn't want to meet them and start over again as a happy family like your friends at the orphanage dreamed. You wanted to meet them so you could make sure you never talked to them again. Then, when you died, you wandered around Hell. You didn't exactly have a house, you just strolled around the city, maybe even killing someone to let your rage out. For someone who had deer resemblace you were quite agressive, to be honest.

You had died young, in your 17th birth to be exact. You bumped into a group of drunk men, they were drunk enough to pick a fight against whoever crossed paths with them, and you happened to be there. You just didn't survive. You may had born crying knowing nothing about life, but you died with that youth rage and you blamed it on your unknown parents.

One day, you were sitting on the floor reading a book you stole time ago when someone stopped in front of you. You didn't lift your head, you just flicked your gaze to the black dressing shoes and red pants that the person was wearing. "What do you want." You didn't ask, you demanded. "I...I have been informed that you were alone and homeless. So, I've decided to give you a room at my hotel, The Hazbin Hotel!" It was a girl's voice, the Princess of Hell's voice. You recognized her from seeing her singing around the streets not long ago. "Why would I want to go there?" You asked closing the book and putting it inside your bag. "It's just a hotel with a porn star and a pathetic victorian snake. I would prefer to sleep next to a rat with rabies than that, so, thank you but no, thank you." You started to walk away from her, you didn't even want to see her face. You knew you just had been mean to Lucifer's daughter, but she didn't even seem like it. You scratched a spot near your antlers, since you became a demon you didn't manage to get used to them. Then, a shadow appeared out of nowhere and it transformed into a tall man, who smiled at you.

"Now, that's not the best way to talk to someone, sweetheart." He said, his voice was accompanied with a stereophonic effect, it sounded like the radio you used to have in your room when you were alive. "Do I know you?" You said as you straightened your back to look more challenging. He just laughed, which clearly offended you a bit. "You should."

How did he manage to smile for so long? You couldn't remeber the last time your lips drew a genuine smile on your face. You were always with a frown on your face, angry, furious. "You seem to be quite the rebel, aren't you?" He said and before he ruffled your hair you flinched away. "Don't touch me." You hissed. "Ooh the fawn is angry," he laughed causing you to frown even more. "Where is your mother? Did a hunter shoot her?" He smiled even more -if that was even possible- you clenched your teeth and your ears curved downwards, you were trying so hard to not to hit him right then and there, who did he think he was? "Okay, let's calm down. How about you come to my hotel, stay one night and then you decide if you want to stay or not?" The princess smiled, her smile was kinder. You scoffed, "if that means that you won't bother me anymore, alright." They started walking down the street with you, it was the first time you walked with someone by your side. You expected it to be a silent walk but you were wrong, the blonde girl talked you about how she planned to redeem a lot of demons when she got the proof that they were able to do it.

While you were walking up the hill that led to the hotel, your gaze fell on the radio tower coming out of one side. You didn't pay attention to the strange Zeppelin or the huge letters that spelled 'Hazbin Hotel' you just looked at the radio tower. You heard a radio static near you, you didn't pay attention to it though, thinking that it was the coming for the tower. Once you were inside, you were greeted with more people that you thought. Of course, the porn star Angel Dust was there and wasted no time in flirting with you not even knowing you gender. "Oh you're the quiet type? Let me see what that mouth does, pretty please." He pouted and you raised your brow. If that was what he wanted, he would get it. "Get the fuck away from me." You said, shoving him away. Then, you heard a deep chuckle and you turned to your side, you noticed a black cat with wings laughing at the white spider. He had a bottle in his hand. Charlie, made you greet everyone there, but her brows frowned in confused way the moment she didn't find someone called Nifty.

You were about to walk towards the bar when you hit something with your foot. You heard a high pitched voice laughing and telling you to hit her again. You stepped back from the small woman with a scared face and your ears curved downwards. "Hi! I'm Nifty, I clean." She quickly climbed up your body and stopped at your face, her big eye looking intensely at you, you swore she could read your mind. "You are very young to be dead, what happened to you? Oh! What's your name?" She shook you, she was surprinsingly strong considering her small body. "Tell me everything." She growled. "My name's Y/N." You said, and ignored again the radio static, had it been sounding this whole time?

After greeting everyone, you told Charlie that you wanted to rest and she showed you your room. You closed the door and let your body fall in the bed. Even though you didn't want to admit it, you had the feeling that this couldn't be as bad as you thought. It had an old-fashioned aura that made you feel at home, somehow. You hadn't felt like this for a long time, you were always running away from demons that wanted to kill you, harass you, make a deal with you... You were at peace here.

PART 2 HERE

I AM SO SORRY

[mintaikcorpse]

Blitzø and Fizzarollie talking about their friends-with-benefits and totally not boyfriends to each other is something I didn't know I needed until now

[theprinceofdarknesssquad]

Nico: Wow, they really hate us.

Will: Yes, perhaps they’re homophobic.

Nico: But we’re not gay, Will.

Will:

Nico:

Will: We’re not?

This is them in the Blood of Olympus😂

[sasukebabygirl]

bro would rather be ANYWHERE else

[dumbass-gryffindor1960]

Sirius is dumb af. And oblivious. It took him several months to realise that James and Regulus were dating.

Regulus is smart af, he understood that Sirius and Remus were in love before none of them had realised their own feelings.

But since he was 4 years old, Sirius always used he/him pronouns for his brother. And Reggie realised that he was a boy only 7 years later.

[krysissy]

Denial is a river in Egypt 💀💀

[dittaturamonegasca]

re-uploading my 2024 bingo card cause it didn't feel SPICY AND DELULU enough

what you think??

[gingerale-enjoyer]

Everything is fine!!! Tech and Omega just got back from the aquarium they had a great time and saw some turtles!!!!! They’re tired tho so they’re taking a quick Power Nap before everyone else gets home!!!!

(Modern au?????)

[klazomaniaccc]

I lov them

[highladyofterrasen7]

Jude: *taking a walk*

Her mind: Cardan

Jude: *talking with her sisters*

Her mind: Cardan

Jude: *fighting*

Her mjnd: Cardan

Jude: *does literally anything*

Her mind: Cardannnnn