#what does me having one car do? i may be morally opposed to cars and not have a car otherwise but i wanna live in a car

[thickest-slimiest-malware]

GUYSSSS i need to live in a little truck please its importamt for my mental health. i dont a want to see my family

[belovedmusings]

Tell me where we are in a fallen star.

Choso Kamo X You X Suguru Geto

Explicit Themes (🚫Minors DNI🚫)

Part five of the 'Two + One' story. Click for story masterlist.

Guitarist! Choso Kamo is your boyfriend, and now you have to deal with the aftermath of his drunken confession to want to have kids with you. The only thing is, last night you almost hooked up with his bandmate, bassist and frontman, Suguru Geto. Choso doesn't know, and you're not sure that you want him to. You rejected Suguru and he's in the past now...right?

Relevant tags: sexual tension, thoughts of infidelity, characters with loose morals, sweetheart Choso, smooth-operator Suguru, slow burn, no "y/n" for immersion, reader has no defining characteristics for inclusivity, mild grinding and groping, reader referred to as 'girlfriend'

Recommended songs to listen to while reading: Violet Crazy (DPR Ian), Burning Desire (Lana Del Rey), Glory Box (Portishead)

A/N: I got waaay too busy at the end of the year so apologies for the delayed update but we're back!! enjoy! (no smut but lots of spicy thoughts and imagery ahead)

Read below cut:

You don’t leave your bedroom until Choso has left with Suguru to take him back to his car the next morning. To avoid what would surely be an awkward ‘goodbye’ with the bassist, you simply got in the shower and told Choso not to wait for you. Now, you’re dressed for the day and the apartment is empty.

You look at the stereo that Suguru had played music from last night before you two had danced and almost kissed. It brings butterflies to your stomach and a grimace to your face.

Sighing, you walk into the kitchen and start making yourself breakfast. While you do, you think about how you’re going to talk to Choso.

The whole ‘having kids’ thing he drunkenly brought up last night is still weighing heavy on you. It’s not like you ever were opposed to kids, but right now? It seems too soon. Would that hurt Choso? Or would he even remember that he said all of that?

And then there’s the matter of having almost let Suguru kiss you last night. It seems like everytime he gets close to you, he can’t help but try to cross that line. The worst part is, everytime he pushes and prods, your own resolve weakens.

You run on autopilot through the morning until Choso returns to find you sitting in the living room, half-ass watching your way through one of your favorite comfort shows on the television before you.

“Hey,” He greets softly, locking the door and kicking off his shoes before joining you. His arm winds behind your shoulders intuitively, his lips pressing a soft kiss to your cheek. “It was weird waking up at a different time than you today. I feel off-kilter.”

The words make your heart flutter. His days are so centered around you that one small disturbance does that much to him?

A pang hits your chest. That just makes what happened last night all the more incriminating. You sigh heavily, fixing him with a fond smile, a tinge of apologeticness in your eyes as you peck his lips.

“It was weird, huh?” You say, laying a hand on his before speaking again. You suppose now is the best time to bring up his words from the night before. “Chos’, do you remember anything you said last night?”

“I…I sort of remember, but details are kind of blurry,” Choso admits, “I think I cried and told you I loved you? I don’t recall much more than that. I hope I didn’t say anything hurtful or do anything to you.”

“No, no of course not,” You say immediately. “It’s just…you said…you said you wanted kids with me. Umm…now, specifically.”

His eyes widen a fraction, and in that small pause, you realize there may have been more truth to his suggestion than you’d previously thought.

“Um,” He says quietly, “What did…what did you say when I said that?”

“I told you we haven’t discussed it before. That we’d talk sober…” you gauge his reaction carefully. He nods stiffly, swallowing thickly.

“…do you…actually want that?” You question after a moment of silence. “I’m not upset either way, Choso, but…I want your honest answer. Do you want kids with me? Now?”

Your boyfriend flounders for a moment, his dark eyes darting from you to the television, to his hands, to you, and down to his hands again as he shifts beside you.

“I…well, I…to be honest, I’ve been thinking about it for a while now…”

You take a breath as it processes. “Yeah? What…what exactly have you been thinking about, in terms of kids?”

“Well, I like the idea of us having a baby together,” Choso says softly, a tender expression on his face. “I’m in love with you, and I never see myself with anyone else. Don’t you want to start putting down roots of our own?”

His hands grab yours, making your heart rate spike. He seems to be serious about this.

“Wait…Choso, you really want a baby?”

He nods. “We’re financially stable and we love each other, what more could we need? We could make a happy home together.”

You have to work hard to stay rational. It’s hard to when your boyfriend is saying such sweet things to you, but you can’t ignore the facts tugging at your psyche.

“Baby,” you begin gently, “I…I am so happy that you want that with me. But I want to be honest too. I haven’t really given kids much thought, and you’re about to get a lot busier with Curse Manipulator. If we had a baby now, I’d be home alone a lot taking care of them alone. You’d be busy with recordings, shows, tours…I don’t know if we’re at a point where we can have a family yet.”

He considers this for a moment before nodding. “You’re right…I don’t want to be an absent father. Neither you nor any of our future kids deserve that. And I also want you with me when we start traveling…I guess I got carried away last night.”

You smile, giving his hand a squeeze. “We can always decide to have kids when we both feel ready, later on. To be fair, you do avoid alcohol because it makes you really emotional. I don’t fault you.”

Your boyfriend laughs sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck. “Yeah, I guess I really shouldn’t drink. Sorry you had to deal with me—I felt so bad Suguru had to lug me up the stairs and sleep on our couch this morning, too.”

At the mention of Suguru, you can’t help the warm wave of nerves that tugs at your stomach. The memories of last night swarm your head, and guilt rises up once more.

But you can’t tell him. It would ruin more than it would help—yes, you know that part of this is just making excuses to save your own ass, but telling Choso how you and Suguru feel about each other will only ruin his career and the band as well. You decided last night that you won’t see Suguru anymore. So, it’s water under the bridge now. You’ve stopped it from rising, and no one will drown as a result.

For a neutral response, you shrug and say, “He wasn’t troubled by it. Didn’t seem annoyed or anything.”

“Good,” He sighs, leaning back on the couch. “He’s a really nice guy. Really kind to you, too. That makes me like him more.”

You don’t know if ‘kind’ is the right word to describe how Suguru acts with you. ‘Tempting’, ‘confounding’, or ‘frustrating’ are more like it. Choso has no idea how Suguru makes you feel, nor about just how much you’ve betrayed his trust for the bassist. Sure, physically you haven’t exactly slept with Suguru, but the moments you two have shared, the words between you, the glances exchanged, the touches given and received…it’s still intimacy.

Honestly, now that you’re thinking about it, your mind is still reeling from the kiss you almost had last night.

So many possibilities had stood on that precipice; how would his lips have felt? How would he have tasted? Would he have pulled you closer? Would you have stopped there, or kept going? How far would the two of you have taken it? All the way? And if you did, what would that have been like? Wild and passionate? Hard and fast? Or slow and taunting? What would he have done to further deteriorate your sanity? Would it have been a one-night stand or would you two have turned it into an affair?

Your mind is racing. Each question stirs up another. You will never know, because he is not yours.

Why does your heart sink at that thought?

You denied him friendship out of a burst of self-control—and denied yourself his affection as well. Self-deception is futile; you know you crave him. Like an addict admitted to rehab, you’ve cut off your supply abruptly, and now it seems like the withdrawals are setting in.

It feels like a breakup. The potential between you two will stay as potential, for the rest of your lives. That is entirely unfair. You see your life with Choso, and you want him by your side forever…

But why do you want Suguru there, not instead, but as well?

___

Two months have passed since that night after the concert. You and Choso are operating smoothly as normal, and he’s successful as ever with Curse Manipulator.

You haven’t spoken to Suguru at all, nor have you seen him.

Time should have made thinking about him easier, but even after all of these weeks, he’s still on your mind constantly. You miss hearing his voice, seeing his face, feeling his touch. It makes you feel crazy, because you’re still so in love with Choso, yet still infatuated with Suguru at the same time.

Was it the right decision to decline his friendship? You aren’t doing any better than if he was around. The fantasies about him haven’t stopped, and sometimes you dream of him.

On a day where Choso is at one of his brother’s houses hanging out, you’re left to your own devices in the apartment. To avoid going stir-crazy, you decide to just do the week’s grocery shopping. It’s five in the evening and maybe not the best time to go, but you keep spiraling over thoughts of Suguru, so you need the distraction.

The trip is going mundanely, your list amost completed when you’re pulled away from your focus.

“Excuse me. I wanted to tell you that you’re really pretty.”

Your eyes flit away from the shelf of canned goods to land on the stranger, a short man with an eager smile on his face.

“Uh…thanks,” is your reply, unsure what to do.

“You got anyone icing that cake of yours?”

The comment is so out of pocket that you just stare, stunned that someone would actually say that out loud.

“Uh—”

“Sorry I took so long, honey. I couldn’t find the tea you asked for.”

A strong arm wraps around your shoulder, the voice of a familiar man registering in your ear. It’s a straight shock to your heart, and you suck in a breath as you turn your head, eyes landing on Suguru’s tight smile, aimed at the strange man that had been hitting on you. Your heart about jumps into your throat. It’s him.

A flood of emotions swarm you, making your knees go weak.

Play along, your instinct tells you, so you obey.

“Oh, that’s okay…babe,” the word feels strange as a label for your boyfriend’s bandmate.

“Is this guy bothering you?” He asks. You glance at the guy, who now looks uncomfortable. Serves the bastard right.

“Yeah.”

“What do you want with my girlfriend?” Suguru questions the man, who raises his hands in defense.

“Look, man, I didn’t know she was—”

“That shouldn’t matter, right? Whether she was taken or not. She’s not interested,” his tone is firm, and the other man just nods, backing away.

“Yeah, yeah—okay. Sorry.”

He turns on his heel and leaves swiftly, finally allowing you to breathe.

Well…sort of.

“Are you okay?” Asks Suguru, his arm sliding off of your shoulder. You will yourself not to react to the touch as you steel yourself.

“Yeah, I’m good. Uh…thanks, Suguru,” you reply, trying to keep your voice even. You feel jumpy and full of unbridled adrenaline. Where did he come from? “How are you here?”

He chuckles at your bluntness. “Well, the grocery store I usually go to is out of Larue’s favorite tea, so I had to come over here instead.”

“Oh…”

His eyes don’t leave yours, and you can’t look away. He’s even more beautiful than you remember.

“Long time no see,” He smiles half-heartedly, trying for nonchalant, then sighs and cuts the act. “Look, I don’t like the way…we parted last time. I’m sorry for overstepping. I…I’ve really missed you, to be honest.”

So, he feels the same? It’s completely mutual. God, that notion has ‘disaster’ written all over it. But you can’t lie to him. You’ve been deprived for too long.

“I…I missed you too.”

Relief flashes through his eyes. “Listen, I don’t want to never see you again. We can be honest about our feelings without making any mistakes, we’re mature adults.”

You look at him for a moment, taking his words into consideration. You want to agree, and at this point, you know that being away from him won’t solve your problem. You like him, and as he said, the two of you should just accept it without acting on it. Maybe then, the flames of desire will calm to mere embers. You’re willing to try it, anyway.

“Yeah…you’re right. We should have a real conversation about this, shouldn’t we?”

He nods. “Why don’t we finish up shopping here first? I doubt the can aisle is where you want to have this discussion.”

You laugh softly at the quip, nodding. “Okay. I have to get my stuff home to the fridge—we can go there. Choso’s with his brothers right now anyway. Are you okay with that?”

“Yeah,” comes his reply, holding up the pack of tea in his hand. “This is all I have, so that’s no problem.”

“Okay,” you nod, grabbing the last item on your list. “Let’s checkout then.”

It’s strange; you never thought you’d be at a grocery store with Suguru. But there you are, paying for your items, probably presenting to all of the strangers around as a couple. It’s domestic, and it makes you feel weird—you don’t hate it. What does that mean?

Especially when he makes a point to carry the bags out to your car for you even though he’s parked somewhere else. It flusters you, but by some miracle, you manage to agree to lead him back to your place since he’s never driven to it from the grocery store.

He follows you in his own car, anticipation filling your veins the closer you get. You’ll be home alone with him, truly this time.

It will be the ultimate test of self-control.

___

A/N: pray for reader's sanity y'all. I'm still planning on cross-posting on AO3 but I was busy so now that I'm back I'll try to get that up. In the meantime, comment here or the masterlist to be added to the taglist!

Please don't copy or repost, but feel free to reblog and share!

Taglist:

@jaegerstan222 , @cosmicstarlatte , @dabisdolly , @moonriseoverkyoto , @propheticfire , @bontensbabygirl , @crlyhairedwxtch , @alittlebirdahgaselx , @okkovtsu , @notbellasstuff , @uchihabbynic , @polaroidnana , @childofilluvatar , @shadowfoxy , @jordan-network , @dreamtravelersade , @unmatchxd , @lucyrocks86 , @spineyy , @k3lbade , @xxbuckpoppi , @naughtygobbo , @slammynics , @roseambers , @luvingyouwasreallyhard , @hinachaaan , @redladyrae-blog , @spiteless-xo , @slutforaz , @bellaabee082 , @thedorklingqueen , @delayedrage , @poopwons , @pandisastergod (please check your settings if you didn't get a notification, your blog wouldn't pop up when I tried to tag!)

[silverwhiteraven]

Happyhoganon: How about a story that has Superman & Ladybug outsmarting Lex Luthor together?

Why are all our Supervillains Bald?

"You didn't have to knock my Partner out like that, you know," Ladybug huffs as she settles Chat Noir into the deck chair of her civilian balcony, feeling miffed about the whole situation. Superman, having the decency to not complain and to cooperate while being lectured, handed her the red and black tent poles, from the red and black-spotted camping trunk her Lucky Charm had summoned earlier, when she wordlessly motioned for him to get them.

"You're right, Ladybug- I'll apologize to him once he's awake," the man in blue and red said as he helped Ladybug untie the shade cover from overhead. For all the gear inside the box, an actual tent was not one of them, so of course improvising was happening. There was a sleeping-bag, of course, but Ladybug had instructed Superman to wear it like a cloak so he wouldn't attract so much attention with his recognizable uniform as they tried to escape and hide from the Akuma. With the ladybug spotting it sported, though, he was pretty sure it did quite the opposite.

Ladybug nodded in acknowledgment of Superman's spoken words, concentrating her focus on the makeshift shelter they were putting over Chat. As a final touch, she pulled a tall potted plant in front of the entrance, completely sheltering Chat Noir from view at any angle. She crossed her arms and nodded, satisfied. Then she spun on her heel and pointed at Superman, who tensed from the sudden change in her point of focus. "Alright, tell me everything you know about this Akuma victim! No more rushed or vague answers; I need to know why Chat was being targeted and how that affected him so much that you had to go and decommission him. Talk, blue boy."

Superman was honestly surprised she hadn't called him Boy Scout like many before. In fact, he half expected her to call him by his civilian name like another black haired, blue eyed figure of justice he knew. Ladybug even looked liked she belonged smack dab in the middle of Batman's nest of children, teens, and adults who could all kick butts and take names.

Shaking the thoughts from his head, Superman answered her demands. "Lex Luthor, a common obstacle of mine from back in the States. Started out as a small town millionaire-by-inheritance when I first knew him, and turned into a 'Big Apple Billionaire' when the last of his morals went out the window if his latest sports car." Ladybug looked absolutely baffled by the sudden metaphor, so he quickly rephrased. "Lex's father started making dirty money off the company before he died, and Lex decided to follow suit once he realized just how dirty he could make his hands by applying his high intelligence and military-worthy knowledge to the black markets. I was keeping track of him and came here as soon as I realized something was happening involving him." Her curious look made him give a sheepish smile and point to his ear with a free hand that wasn't holding the sleeping-bag closed around his shoulders. "Super-hearing. I knew what Jupiter sounded like before NASA did."

"Okay," Ladybug looked a mix of skeptical and awed, but nodded then shook her head. "That still doesn't explain how you treated Chat."

A bit warry to answer, Superman looked away, watching the flowers that hid her Partner. "My people have a weakness to a particular type of radiation that comes from our home planet. When that planet was destroyed, pieces of it scattered all over the universe. Earth has a few tons of this Kryptonite from fine dust particles alone, but larger pieces survived entry, too. Lex Luthor has known about the material for years and hoards it to use at any chance he gets."

"Obsessed with the biggest weakness of the opposing hero, I know how that feels," Ladybug sighed, and Superman gave her a sympathetic pat on the shoulder.

"No doubt. But this material does more than just weaken me, Ladybug. Different kinds have different effects, and some, even in different forms, can affect humans, too." Ladybug tensed at that, glancing at her Partner before locking worried eyed back onto Superman. He gave her a grim expression then shook his head. "I've seen it first hand and experienced it myself, it isn't pretty. I've seen the stuff cause sickness, power weapons, even create Meta's. Earth is not a place for this, it isn't safe like it was back home. Maybe if it ha been around for millions of years, life could have evolved to live alongside it, but..."

"But we don't have that sort of time now," Ladybug concludes, and Superman nods. "So his targeting of Chat-?"

"The radiation of Kryptonite can enhance powers or even cause mind control. Chat Noir and his ability under the control of my Villain and yours? I couldn't see things ending well. I knew things were about to go off the rocker. So when he got nicked and the wound glowed green, I- I'm sorry, Ladybug, but magic and I do not-and I mean REALLY do not-mix well, so I'm at a doubled-and-amplified disadvantage here. Benching your Partner was my only option."

"With M. Luthor Akumatized and making this stuff to his heart's content like that- Now that I know, I have a bad feeling you'd have been right. It doesn't make me feel any better, though," Ladybug sighed.

Superman nodded, accepting of her words. "I won't feel good about it either. I'm just glad it won't be permanent."

"Yeah, if we win," Ladybug adds glumly, and he pats her on the back, hard enough to knock her out of the bad mood. She blinks at him, shocked, and she smiled encouragingly.

"We will win, I promise. It may not be as fast as we would like, especially since it will only be the two of use seeing as the whole JLE branch had to evacuate after Hawkmoth showed up-" Ladybug chuckled awkwardly, remembering how stressed she had been knowing she and Chat Noir were on their own unless a specific foreign hero was there to help them with one of their own villains, like right now- "But we will. I know Lex's weaknesses as a person, as well as where to find what he's looking for. Wonder Woman used to guard a stash of Kryptonite under the Louvre before we had to move it, and only the Heads of the JL know where it is now. And you, well-"

"I know Hawkmoth's weaknesses, and the ones of his Akumas, as well as his goals, too. After all, I wear them on my own ears. Yeah... Yeah, you're right! We can do this!" Ladybug cracks a smile and a glimmer gets into her eyes as her gaze falls on the Lucky Charm camping trunk. "And I know just how to start. Come on, blue boy, we're heading for the Louvre to take down a couple of baldies."

Glad to have lifted her spirits, Superman grins. "I'm at your command, red lady."

[t4tlawlight]

YOU'RE AN AVENGER, A DEATH ANGEL. YOU KILL PEOPLE WHO ASK FOR IT, WHO DESERVE TO DIE. YOU'RE A WATCHDOG, A PROTECTOR OF THINGS DECENT. YOUR COMFORTS ARE SACRIFICED FOR EFFICIENCY -- YOU CAN'T DO WHAT HAS TO BE DONE WITH PEOPLE MOANING AND CLINGING TO YOU, YOU CAN'T STRIKE WITH POSSESSIONS WEIGHING YOU DOWN. YOU HAVE A CLEAR HEAD AND NO REGRETS. YOU CAN TAKE OUT ANYONE BECAUSE YOU'RE STRIPPED DOWN AND YOU DON'T DEPEND ON OR TRUST A SOUL. YOU ARE EFFECTIVE BECAUSE YOU DON'T LOVE ANYBODY OR ANYTHING. YOU'RE A ONE- MAN FORCE, THE PERFECT INSTRUMENT OF DESTINY.

– "INFLAMMATORY ESSAYS 5" by Jenny Holzer

(this is a companion piece to Love and Belonging, my early drama light analysis! [LINK] i heavily recommend reading it before continuing this analysis, as i reference events and ideas explained in that post.)

in my previous analysis of drama light, i focused on the events that led him to become the man we see in the beginning of the drama: a gentle, kind man who is underachieving but still brilliant, who takes a maternal role in his household after the death of his mother. This is all crucial to understanding Light’s character in the drama and how the events leading up to him becoming Kira change in line with his altered characterization, but that analysis only barely skimmed the surface of Light’s character development throughout the drama, and especially after L’s death.

the drama fandom--including me!--is somewhat guilty of making blanket statements about drama light’s morality as opposed to his manga counterpart, that drama light is kinder and gentler in comparison to manga light. this may be true early on, but i would argue that as the series progresses, drama light willingly and deliberately throws away his love and humanity just as much--if not more!--than his manga counterpart.

to understand what i mean it’s important to compare light’s relationship with his father between the adaptations.

in the manga, light grows up idolizing his father, loving and admiring him and wanting to follow in his footsteps as a police officer. his morality that leads to him ultimately becoming Kira comes from Soichiro, as does his dissatisfaction with the world as he sees his father work himself to the bone trying to eradicate crime that seems to never end.

there’s a lot more that can be said about the nature of their relationship and about how Light desperately seeks his father’s approval, but instead of typing out an entire analysis i’ll link you to this post by tumblr user mikami [LINK], which is a very good analysis of the two of them in the manga.

conversely, in the drama Light begins much the same, but Soichiro choosing to chase a criminal instead of being by his wife’s deathbed--leaving his children to witness their mother’s passing alone--strains Light’s relationship with him. Light has much of the same morals and worldview as manga Light, but now believes that his father’s morality is more or less worthless, since he had to give up his family to pursue justice.

Light: When my mother died when I was a kid, my father was off chasing a criminal… I thought my father’s form of justice couldn’t be worth much, if he had to sacrifice even his family to see it through.

– Episode 7

however, it’s important to note that while Light is cold with his father and resents his occupation, that does not mean that Light does not still love and idolize his father. he wants his father’s love and support, and he cares as deeply for him as does his manga counterpart. in fact, drama light only becomes kira out of a desire to protect his father--after his first, accidental murder, he throws away the Death Note and tries to forget about it. however, his father is taken hostage by a criminal who intends on seeking revenge for Soichiro putting him in jail years ago, and Light is forced to retrieve the note and write the criminal’s name to protect his father.

[photo: a zoomed in shot of the Death Note. Light is writing the name “Otoharada Kuro” in Japanese. the penmanship is shaky and nearly illegible from how hard Light’s hand is trembling.]

– Episode 1

Light is literally shaking with terror as he writes the name of the man about to kill his father.

and this is not something Light does lightly--after he saves his father and it’s announced that Otoharada is dead, Light is absolutely stricken with guilt and horror for murdering two people, including the man who was about to kill his father. he saved his father’s life at the price of another, because he loves his father--and his entire family--very deeply.

it’s also worth noting a slight difference between the manga and the drama; after the mock execution, drama Soichiro admits that he believed Light could be guilty and was prepared to die. Light--who at this point has no memory of being Kira and thus completely believes himself to be wrongly accused--does not blame his father for not trusting him. Light, who desperately wants his father’s approval, does not blame him in the slightest: instead, the subject of his anger is Kira himself for putting Soichiro in this position and making Soichiro suffer.

Light: I… I hate Kira. Kira, who made you suffer this way… I hate him so much. Soichiro: Light… Light: Please catch him. I believe that you can catch Kira, Dad.

[photo: Light and Soichiro in an abandoned parking garage. the two of them are crouching beside Soichiro’s car. Soichiro is hugging Light, who weakly raises his hands to hold his father in return.]

– Episode 6

the two of them embrace and weep before collecting themselves and returning to Countermeasures.

by this point in the story, it’s obvious that both versions of Light love Soichiro very much. Light is creating his “new world” for the good of humanity but also for the people he loves the most--his family.

later, the emotional death of manga Light comes after the passing of his father, which he never wanted nor planned for. he never wanted Soichiro to be in a position to get hurt and he is never, ever the same after Soichiro's death, especially because he never gains his father’s approval for his actions as Kira--in fact, Soichiro leaves him with an outright rejection of Kira entirely.

[panel 1: a close up of Soichiro’s eye. he looks like he’s in pain. the speech bubble above his head reads, “I still have the eyes. And according to that Shinigami… Ryuk, I can’t see the lifespan of someone who owns a notebook.

panel 2: Light is standing above his father’s prone body. Matsuda stands behind him, bandages on his face and arms. Soichiro continues, “Light, you’re not Kira… I’m so glad…” Light looks shocked in response, a speech bubble above his head reading only “!” Matsuda says, “O-of course he isn’t! You were still worried about that?"]

the fact that Light can never gain that approval leads to him becoming incredibly dissatisfied and simply going through the motions--it’s what leads to him treating other people like cogs in a machine that will listen to him without any free will of their own, which is what makes him not foresee that Mikami might take action of his own accord. this is how Light gets caught in the end.

in the drama, however, Light experiences more than just his father’s rejection. Soichiro confronts Light directly about being Kira, catching him in the act. this is, of course, Light’s worst case scenario--he does virtually everything he can to lie his way out of it, to get his father back on his side, but fails. Soichiro acknowledges the fact that it was his fault that Light turned out this way, and also that he failed to notice that Light was suffering up until now--and then begs Light to turn himself in, in a scene that echoes L’s confrontation with Light from a couple of episodes prior.

when Light refuses, Soichiro begins to write his own name in the book.

Light: No way. Dad… Stop it. Dad! Stop it! Dad! Soichiro: There’s a struggle going on in your soul right now, isn’t there? That’s what it means to take someone’s life. That’s the weight of a human life. Do you understand, Light? Light: If this suffering is the real thing, I really can’t forgive criminals. I realized it, Dad. Even someone like me… There’s something even I can do to serve the world. Soichiro: How does killing people serve the world?! Light: I’ve sacrificed a lot of things, too! You of all people must understand how I feel! We’re working for the same thing. To protect the peace for everyone. With that notebook, I can create a world without crime! I’m just like you! Soichiro: You’re wrong. Open your eyes, Light. Come back, Light.

– Episode 10

with this ultimate rejection of Light’s actions, Soichiro finishes writing his name and Light allows him to do so. it isn’t as though Light couldn’t have stopped him if he really wanted to, either; on one level, turning himself into the police as Soichiro requested would have saved his father. on another, we see him rip the Death Note from Soichiro’s dying hands moments later as his father attempts to burn the book. Light is perfectly capable of saving the book and only acts when the Note is in danger, not his beloved family member.

of course, we never see manga Light exactly in this position, either, and I can’t say that I think that manga Light would have turned himself in or physically ripped the Note from Soichiro’s hands. both Lights did virtually everything they could to never be in a situation where they had to choose between the safety of their family members and being Kira, and I doubt manga Light would have done well emotionally with Soichiro outright rejecting him, his actions, and his ideology.

however, their actions and behavior immediately after Soichiro’s death is extremely telling. when manga Light is rejected by his father, who died as a result of a plan gone awry, he is completely devastated.

[photo: a panel of Light Yagami screaming over his father’s body. tears are running down his face, and he yells, “Dad! Dad! Don’t you die, damn it!”]

he sheds tears--which are rare for manga Light--and he mourns over his father’s dead body for quite some time. as i said previously, he is never the same man again after his father’s death.

drama Light sheds tears as Soichiro writes his name and is clearly upset by his passing, but his mourning period is immediately interrupted by desperation to get the Note back. he spends Soichiro’s last moments wrestling with him for the Note, and once his father collapses he takes the note, wild-eyed, and holds it to his chest protectively. in this instant, he cares more about the safety of the book than his dead parent--because he had just chosen the notebook, and being Kira, over his father.

after Soichiro’s funeral, Light thinks this:

Light [internally]: Dad really did open my eyes. If I am to become a God, sacrifices are inevitable. No matter who it is that pursues Kira, I will erase them.

– Episode 10

this is Light implicitly saying that sacrificing his family members--sacrificing Soichiro, the man he began killing in order to save--is inevitable if they oppose Kira. of course, this is very similar to the way that manga Light distances himself from Soichiro after Soichiro’s death, to save him from the hurting that it caused him.

[photo: a panel of Light Yagami’s face, zoomed in close so we can only see one eye, his nose, and most of his mouth. He is scowling, most of his eye cast in shadow, and he’s sweating and panting. He asks, “Dad? Are you talking about Soichiro Yagami?”]

of course, all of this begs the question of how drama Light--who began a sweet, gentle boy who was more or less coerced into using the Death Note to begin with--got to a place that even manga Light didn’t have the chance to get to, where he was more willing to save the Death Note than his own father. it’s important to consider another relationship that drama Light has that’s much different from manga Light’s--his relationship to L.

manga light respects L's intelligence and sees him as an equal, as entertainment at times, but he doesn’t like him. not even during yotsuba arc, where they’re ostensibly on the same side--in fact, i would say yotsuba Light has more reason to dislike L, seeing as though he believes L to be falsely accusing him and having tortured him for virtually no reason. they're not actually friends--it’s a manipulation tactic. moreover, L sees him the same way. they were not friends and they both intended on killing each other until the bitter end.

by comparison, drama light and L's relationship starts that way--with the two of them wanting to kill each other, with a pretense of friendship that is actually an excuse to get close to each other to try and test for weaknesses--but the difference is that they, well, fall for their own bullshit. during yotsuba arc, Light’s memories are rewritten in such a way that he believes that L and light are genuinely on friendly terms, and L finds himself over the course of the arc going from respecting Light’s talents and thinking him as something interesting to genuinely wanting him to not be Kira and seeing him as a friend.

if you want to know more about L’s thought processes during the series and specifically the blue scene I recommend reading my analysis about him [LINK] but what is important to note is that L does not want to kill Light anymore by the time episode 8 rolls around. like Soichiro later will, he attempts to convince Light to confess--with the intention, we later find out, to potentially give him a way out. of course, Light doesn’t understand this and believes, for the moment, that it’s a fight to the death--so he writes L’s name in (what he believes to be) the Death Note.

this is intrinsically different from the way Light kills L in the manga. manga Light convinces someone else to do the dirty work and he is absolutely gleeful when L dies, gloating over his dying body--but up until this point L has made manga Light’s life an absolute hassle and expressed time and time again that he intends on executing Kira, who he believes to be Light. L wants to kill him, and they are not friends. while drama Light also believes it’s a “me-or-him” situation, he cannot deny that he actually likes L, that he wanted to be friends with him--he wanted, like Soichiro, for L to accept him and to be a part of the world Kira would create.

[photo: Light, cast in blue light, is bent over double. we’re looking at his face from below, from L’s point of view on the floor. his face is contorted with grief, face wet with tears and spit. He says, “I’d have wanted to be your friend forever.”]

– Episode 8

these are what Light believes to be his last words to L, so he has no reason to lie. he’s weeping as he says it, seeming absolutely heartbroken. this is the first time that Light kills--or attempts to kill--someone he cares about, and it’s the moment he decides to throw his humanity away. if he hadn’t cared so deeply for L before deciding to kill him, I don’t think the scene with Soichiro would have played out quite the same. Light even says it himself right before he writes L’s name:

Light: I can’t afford to lose to you. I’m creating a perfect world, without crime. To see that happen, I… L: Light… Light: I… I’ve decided there’s nothing I won’t do!

– Episode 8

these words are immediately followed by Light attempting to kill L. this is the fundamental moment that Light throws away his humanity, literally deciding that he would do anything for his new world, including killing his friends if they stand in his way. this culminates in him letting his father die and ripping the Note from his hands. he believes that the ends justify the means and that this is the only option he has.

it’s important to note that it isn’t that Light stopped loving his father, or stopped liking L--it isn’t that he lacks guilt over their deaths. it’s exactly the opposite. while their deaths--and the deaths of the Countermeasures team that he planned to take place, as well as the FBI and countless other people--are a necessary evil in order to make the world a better place, Light has to absolutely jump through hoops to justify it to himself and compartmentalize the guilt. as I said earlier, Light saying that Soichiro’s death was inevitable is a way to distance himself from the pain and guilt and rejection he feels, but as he’s dying that guilt cracks back open wide. when he sees that the Death Note is on fire, he panics and begins crawling towards it.

Light: Not yet. I can still do more. If I give up now… What was it all for?

– Episode 11

this is immediately followed by a flashback to Soichiro’s death, where Soichiro questions him about how killing people serves the world--after he crawls a little further, he flashes back again to L, recalling L’s desire to be friends with him.

these flashbacks go to show that Light feels a deep and profound guilt for killing both of them. he’s justified and rationalized it to himself as being for the good of the world--he chose being Kira over both of their lives. however, this means that if Kira fails, if he dies and the world goes right back to the way it was, then all of it was for nothing. he gets himself into a situation where he has to keep killing and killing people he cares about because if he stops then it means that all of it was for nothing.

it’s honestly an incredibly sad situation, that someone so full of kindness would become ultimately cold-hearted in an effort to cope with guilt.

[gr33nbull]

The Problem with F1 & Nikita Mazepin.

It is no secret that Formula 1 has to be one of the most morally corrupt sports on the planet. That alone is unfortunate considering if you just glaze over everything wrong with it. The sport is pretty incredible. Not to mention the guys that drive these cars, risking their lives every single race essentially for entertainment. The talent and skill to drive these cars is immense. There’s no doubt that this is a great sport. But when you scratch the surface and start to pull back all the layers. You realise what a pile of crap this sport can be. I could make an essay as to how crappy this sport has been as a whole. But let’s stick with current events. That being Nikita Mazepin.

If you don’t know, Mazepin, one of the most controversial drivers of recent times has recently made it to the big one. F1. The second he was announced as the new Haas driver alongside Mick Schumacher. F1 and more specifically the Haas team has been nothing but a shit show. What with Mazepin groping a woman who has since come out against him for such a gross act. To punching another driver in the face, to overstepping the mark and dangerous driving ON TRACK, to dangerous driving OFF TRACK. To nearly running over ANOTHER driver because he’s a sore loser.

Now don’t go get me wrong, if drivers weren’t sore losers, then they wouldn’t be so competitive which is no use for a sport such as Formula 1. Drivers have been petty at times when they haven’t won. We’ve all seen Sebastian Vettel be petty when he didn’t win that one race a few years ago. He changed over the 1&2 of him and Lewis. But did he go out of his way to try and RUN HIM OVER before going to the podium? No. There’s a difference between petty and outright dangerous.

Another example is Max Verstappen, who again, may very well be controversial to some. But have you ever seen Max pose danger to anyone? Sure he gets angry, he’s cursed, he’s said silly things in the heat of the moment. We all do and all the drivers have. He’s gotten angry in their faces, but has he gone as far as to punch someone in the face simply because he thought they were in the way when infact they weren’t? No. Not to mention, you cannot deny the fact that Max Verstappen is a future WDC. The guy has an insane amount of talent and I look forward to seeing him become a champion. Because he pushes the limit, and more importantly, he doesn’t do it in such a dangerous way it could harm others. Sure accidents happen. But there’s a difference between accidents and KNOWINGLY being dangerous and posing a risk. Something Nikita Mazepin to this VERY day still does not know the meaning of.

Last year, when The Black Lives Matter movement started, F1 and majority of their drivers were quick to speak out on this, to take a stand and use their voice, especially some drivers who we can applaud for speaking out on such an important issue. However, We Race as One? Seems like an absolute joke months later. If you raced as one, then surely the well-being of women is just as important? The women that work with you? Their safety? So why is it that F1 and their drivers have suddenly gone quiet? As if none of this is happening RIGHT in front of them? The second that man is opposed, that thing affect men, your favourite drivers speak up. Wether that be Lewis, Sebastian, Daniel, Lando, I could go on. But when it comes to the safety of women in the workplace? Those that work so closely with the drivers, why is nobody speaking up on the actions of Mazepin? Why is action not being taken against Haas? Sure, his dad has paid his way into the sport, yes they have a lot of money, but so do all your favourite drivers? So why is nobody speaking up? When they have wives and girlfriends? Would they like it if their nearest and dearest fell victim to actions like Mazepin? Your favourite drivers claim for equality, for a voice for all, yet the second a driver, a very controversial and dangerous driver assaults a woman and poses a risk to their OWN safety. Why is the likes of Lewis, Seb, Daniel, Lando, George, etc. Why are they not speaking up?

Your favourite drivers and their silence on this issue is deafening. After coming to this realisation, after seeing the likes of your favourite drivers call those out for staying silent on Black Lives Matter. It’s time to call THEM out for staying silent on Mazepin. Your drivers don’t care as much as they say they do. By being silent, they are accomplices in siding with Mazepin and allowing him on the grid. Everyday this continues more and more people will fall out of love with this sport and stop watching. We must say no to Mazepin. We must speak out, our voices must be heard. We will not stop.

[wayward-mikaelson]

Winter's Doll--Final Chapter

Word Count: 1832

About: Nadia meets with the president and Bucky has a bad feeling about it

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OC (Female)

Warnings/Trigger Warnings: Language, Mentions of Corrupt Government, Talks of bribery

A/N: Sorry this is out super late. I got busy and then got sick and then my son started school.

Masterlist

Marvel Masterlist

Winter's Doll Masterlist

Previous Chapter

Favorite Fics

Forever Tags: @hobby27 @donnaintx @myinconnelly1 @elansaidaris @magssteenkamp @440mxs-wife

Marvel Tags: @soccer-100000

Story Tags: @supernatural-love14 @loudlylovingalpaca @kingkhibas

Seb/Bucky Tags: Open

Nadia stepped out of the car and onto the patio of the White House. Her entire body was shaking, the hairs on the back of her neck were standing up and her heart was racing like a racehorse who began their race. Nadia’s mind was also racing. She had so many questions to ask the president and when she tried to ask over the phone, the president wouldn’t let her get a single word out. Except that she wanted to talk to Nadia in private.

Fury had seen the expression on Nadia’s face when the president asked about talking in Private. Natasha was also in the room, and Natasha let Nadia know that this didn’t sit well with her. That she should think about it. But Nadia already knew what she wanted.

Nadia agreed to the meeting.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Bucky pulled Nadia around by the arm. He and Steve had insisted that they come as moral support. Well, Steve was moral support, Bucky was there to make sure Nadia was safe. “You can always send me or Steve in there to tell the president that you change your mind.”

Nadia shook her head and licked her lips. “I got this,” Nadia rested a hand on Bucky’s. She looked up at him and saw how those blue eyes stared right into her dark one. He knew she wasn’t sure but respected that. “If I had to send someone in, then it would be Steve.”

“Why Steve?” Bucky asked, raising an eyebrow. There’s a hint of playfulness in his eyes that had Nadia’s lips twitching into a small smile.

“Because Steve will keep it diplomatic where as you,” Naida took a step closer to Bucky and hooked her index finger into a strap on his suit. She thought to the quickie the two of them shared before taking off a few hours before. “You’d probably be led out by the Secret Service or in handcuffs. Which I wouldn’t be opposed to as I seem to remember you liking them the other night.” Nadia winked at Bucky who smirked.

“You’re right,” Bucky’s hand slowly slid up to cup Nadia’s chin. “Just be careful. The government has given you every reason not to trust them.”

Nadia leaned forwards and gave Bucky a small peck on the cheek. “I will.”

Nadia turned on her heel and made her way towards the door where a man stood waiting. Instantly, Nadia got some weird vibes off him and turned to see both Steve and Bucky standing side by side with their arms crossed.

***

Bucky watched as Nadia turned towards the man and gave him a smile and shook his hand. Once they disappeared behind the closing doors, Bucky turned to Steve. “I don’t like this,” he said, dropping his arms. “This doesn’t feel right at all.”

“I’m sure everything will be fine, Buck,” Steve said. “Nadia knows how to handle herself.”

“I know that, Steve,” Bucky muttered. “It’s this whole government trying to silence anyone, like her brother. What if that’s what they wanted to meet or worse?”

Steve placed a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “She’ll be fine, Buck.”

Bucky shrugged and crossed his arms again. “Probably a good thing I called Sam and have him laying low on some rooftop.”

“You did what?” Steve shook his head. “You know what, if it does turn ugly, probably having Sam nearby will help. But we aren’t going on the run again.”

Bucky and Steve stood there in silence waiting for Nadia to come out. Bucky still couldn’t shake that something was going to happen. Bucky cared for Nadia deepy, probably just as much as he cared for Steve. He’d do just about anything to make sure Steve and Nadia were safe.

Come to think of it, Bucky was starting to realize that he didn’t care for Nadia. He loved her and would probably use Steve as a body shield to make sure Nadia was safe and sound.

***

Nadia sat in the Oval Office and twiddled her thumbs around. She’s toured the White House a few times and has seen the Oval Office. But Nadia never spent more than a few minutes there. Here she was, going on almost thirty minutes of waiting for the president to come and talk with her.

To be honest, Nadia was nervous as hell. She had a feeling that something was going to go wrong. She reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone, she needed to have Bucky in here with her. But the moment Nadia looked at her phone, she saw that she had no signal whatsoever. The feeling in Nadia’s gut got more intense.

“So,” a voice entered the room. Nadia turned to see the President of the United States waltz into the room. Her ginger hair flowing about her shoulders and her bright green eyes bore right into Nadias.

“What are we going to do with you? ”Her beige pantsuit looked a little too tight and Nadia was sure that a button would pop off them the moment she sat down.

“What?” Nadia asked. She instantly got a bad feeling about the woman in front of her. “I thought we were here to talk about my brother?”

The president leaned back and took a glass of water from her person next to her. “We are,” she answered after taking a long drink. “We are also going to discuss how you will stay quiet about all this. How does a mansion and yacht sound?”

***

Steve’s phone rang in his pocket. Without taking his eyes off the guard that was staring him and Bucky down, he reached into his pocket. “Hello?”

“Cap,” it was Sam. “It doesn’t look too pretty in there.”

“You have a visual on Nadia?” Cap whispered.

“Yep, Bucky told me to make it happen so I have Red Wing hovering close enough to see in.” Sam answered. “That dude that knew Nadia is in the room with her and the President.”

Steve turned to Bucky who was now staring at him. “The mission where that dude knew Nadia? What was his name?”

Bucky’s heart stopped. Of course he remembered this dude. He got a bad vibe off him right off the bat. “Timothy Ketch? What about him?”

“You guys may want to head in there,” Sam’s voice sounded concerned. “Nadia looks pissed as shit in there. I don’t think I’ve seen her face look that red and deadly.”

Steve hung up the phone and looked at Bucky. Bucky knew instantly that something was up. “Who are you calling now?” Bucky noticed Steve put his phone back to his ear.

“Hey, we have a situation. You’ve been compromised. Take everyone and head underground.” Steve hung up his phone again. “Let’s go.”

Bucky followed Steve into the White House and towards the Oval Office. The closer they got, the more Bucky could hear Nadia’s voice. She didn’t sound at all happy. In fact, Bucky could hear all the fowl language coming from Nadia’s mouth.

“No!” Nadia’s voice echoed around the corner. “Get your fucking hands off me.”

Steve and Bucky rounded the corner to see Nadia being held by two secret service men. The look on Nadia’s face brightened up when she saw them. Bucky saw a forming bruise on her hand and he knew that Nadia had thrown all she had into that punch.

“How's the other guy?” Bucky asked, a smiled pulling on the corner of his lips. Steve nudged him. “What? I want to know?”

“Oh Tim,” Nadia chuckled then groaned. The two men that held her pushed her onto a wall. “I’m certain I broke his nose. Hey, fellas, gentle there I’m a woman. Or do you not care since I won’t comply with your order to shut the fuck up and tell no one about how you’re selling off soldiers.”

Steve stepped forward. “I’m going to need you to let her go.”

“I’m sorry, sir,” one of the men looked at Steve. “President Tyler ordered her to be arrested. She’s a traitor to the country.”

“Oh for fucks sake,” Nadia groaned and faster than the two men that held her, Nadia snapped her head back and hit one man. He let go and that was enough for Nadia to whip around and free herself from the other man by chi blocking him. “Now, that was kind of pathetic. You should have known to go up against someone your people have trained to sell off.” She knelt down next to the guy with limp arms and smiled an evil smile at him. “Not only that, but against an Avenger.”

Nadia stood up and looked at Steve and Bucky. “Clint has your family safe,” he whispered when Nadia was within ear shot.

“Good,” Nadia looked behind her and back at Steve and Bucky. “I have a press conference to go to. Call Stark, make sure he can keep at least one camera rolling.” Before the two men can say anything, Nadia quickly walked away.

“So she wants us to have Tony hack into the government?” Bucky asked, looking confused. Living for a little more than a century, there were times Bucky was still stuck in the 40’s. “Can he even do that?”

“He’s Howard's kid,,” Steve answered. “He will be more than happy to.” Steve pulled out his phone and dialed Tony’s number.

Bucky turned to the nearest television and watched as Nadia took over. Her dark hair hung around her shoulders. He could see the small tremors of her hands. Nadia was nervous but the look in her eyes pretty much said that she was going to do this no matter the consequence.

As Nadia spoke, Bucky could hear the small shake in her voice but the firmness as she spoke of her brother, that told Bucky that she had it all under control. Bucky ignored the chaos that was ensuing around both him and Steve. No matter how many times the feed was cut off, it was always brought back. Tony was working hard to keep it all running. Bucky made a mental note to thank Tony for doing this.

Then something happened.

Reports were being made about how the press conference wasn’t just being broadcasted to those who were watching it on the news. It was being broadcasted just about everywhere from Malibu to London. Tony was making sure that it literally got everywhere.

Getting Nadia out wasn’t hard at all. Not after the threat she made, one that would have both Fury and Steve hiding her out until all this was blown over and taken care of. Bucky didn’t like the thought of having Nadia away so who knows how long. It literally made his heart ache. So he volunteered to go with her, to help keep her safe.

“I got you,” Bucky said as they loaded up the SUV with bags. “I promise I won’t let anything bad happen to you. I’ll keep you safe, Doll.”

[fandom-pardes]

Christian normativity and Lovecraft Country

Reposted from my personal blog.

Here’s something you need to wrap your head around. If you were brought up in an environment dominated by Christian culture, Christian norms have shaped the way you conceptualize how the world works, human nature, ethics, religion (even the term religion is Christian-normative), and so on.

It doesn’t matter if you actively practice or believe. IMO, unless you deliberately and consistently expose yourself to different frameworks, you are generally operating from a Christian lens. That’s just how socialization works.

In the case of media and media criticism, the Christian framework shows up in a deeply puritanical streak where good and evil are not actions and choices, but states of being. When a character does something beneficial, it’s because they are good. If they do something harmful, it’s because they are bad.

It also shows up in the ways that fandom discourse seems preoccupied with whether a character’s thoughts, feelings, or actions are morally justified or not, as opposed to understanding where those thoughts, feelings, and actions come from.

Consider Montrose. He does some horrible stuff in this show, and many viewers were upset by the way the narrative went out of its way to explore where those horrific actions come from rather than condemn him for them. Meanwhile, I’m sitting here thinking, “Of course he does that, considering what his experiences have taught him.” But at the time the show was airing, if I’d expressed that openly, I’d have gotten a lot of, “Why are you trying to justify all the bad things Montrose has done?”

*smh*

In Lovecraft Country, the Christian normativity also shows up in the way it tries to shoehorn the plot (especially the finale) into a typical Good vs. Evil (or God vs. Satan—more on this in a bit) narrative even though the characters themselves are too complex for that. Then the show Goes There with the hamfisted way it links Tic with Jesus, all the way down to his martyred blood being the source of salvation, and Christina with Satan or the Antichrist, a morally corrupt enemy of goodness/God who tempts humans to embrace forbidden knowledge (magic) and forbidden pleasures (non-cishet sex).

(IMO, the show did Christina a disservice by making her the ultimate villain because she’s a lot more fun as a wild card. Also, her character is more akin to the tricksters of myth and folklore than the villains of contemporary media. /tangent)

Then there’s the way that, in the US, the legacy of slavery, and later Jim Crow, is seen as a kind of Original Sin, which the show reinforces rather than challenges. In very simplistic terms, Original Sin means that you are automatically morally corrupt from birth, and nothing you do can undo that except faith in Jesus. In other words, you are born bad and condemned to damnation unless you think, feel, and believe the right thing.

This insinuation of Original Sin is most pronounced with how the narrative frames Christina and how viewers respond to her. I’ve seen a lot of people judge her for having the “wrong” thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and attitudes, using that as an argument against her capacity to change and grow. Even the ways she helps and empowers others become automatically suspect because of this “taint.”

*siiiiigh*

Y’all, you have to understand how weird this looks to my Jewish self.

Imagine this rich heiress who kills a bunch of Nazis. She does it for her own reasons that aren’t the least bit altruistic. That’s still fewer Nazis for me to worry about. We can argue about her motives when there are no more Nazis. But for now: Thanks, lady!

But the way some viewers would have it, I’m supposed to be like…

Me: “I know you killed all these Nazis, but do you really care about my people?”

Her: “No.”

Me: “You horrible person! If you don’t care, don’t bother killing any Nazis at all!”

Haha. OK. Sure, Jan.

I’m not gonna go down the rabbit hole of Jewish ethics and moral development, but to summarize Jewish ethics while standing on one foot, the important thing is the Do The Thing. Even though it’s ideal to Do The Thing for the right reasons, whatever it takes to get you to Do The Thing is valid (some conditions about Doing The Other Things apply). Good intentions don’t absolve people of wrongdoing, nor do ulterior motives erase the good that people do.

Furthermore, sin is not a state of being in Jewish tradition. It’s an action or behavior akin to an arrow missing its target. Our job is to fix what we can and try again, failing better until we hit our target.

So Christina crashing her car into truckload of racists matters. Giving Leti enough money to pay for a house matters. Sharing magical secrets with Tic and Ruby matters. Keeping her promise not to harm Leti matters.

Now, if I really wanna get Jewish about this, I’d argue that Christina’s deep yearning for human connection, for family and for love, is what can give her the drive to learn better* and do better. This may strike some with deeply ingrained Christian norms as selfish, or at the very least, self-interested. However, Jewish tradition encourages us to perform mitzvot and other good deeds using both our yetzer hatov (our “good” impulse—think the Freudian** superego) and our yetzer hara (our “evil” impulse—think the Freudian id). Our job is not to suppress or deny the part that wants things for ourselves, but to refine it and channel it toward constructive purposes.

I think that’s about it.

Happy Hanukkah!

*Moral development through learning and study is a hallmark of Jewish ethics. No one is born knowing right from wrong. It has to be taught and cultivated.

**Freud was Jewish, BTW.

[arlingtonpark]

SNK 134 Review

Thank you. Thank you so much. This means so much to me.

(Ofc this chapter is called “In the Depths of Despair.”)

Sigh.

So, I guess I have to have an opinion on this chapter now.

For a while there, it looked like SNK had made the right choice.

Eren was the asshole. He was insubordinate, ungrateful, uncooperative, and above all else, a fucking sociopath. Cool, got it. One and done.

But then his friends started talking about how it was really their fault he’s doing this.

Ok, that’s fine. They’re desperate to stop him, so they’re just saying whatever they think will ingratiate themselves with Eren and help talk him down. Dynamics like that are very common in abusive relationships.

Now we arrive at this chapter, where even random people are saying Eren is a victim *as he is murdering them!*

It is patently absurd that Eren is having a warranted or natural or reasonable reaction to what he’s been through.

If Eren were a better person, he would have known that mass murder against the Eldians was wrong because mass murder is wrong. Unfortunately, Eren is a fundamentally amoral person. The only moral compass he has to guide him is a childish belief in “you hit me, so I get to hit you.”

He’s said as much on multiple occasions. He has said, “If someone tries to take my freedom away, I will take their freedom away.”

Instead of being the better man and ending the killing, his solution was to kill more people than them, faster and on a larger scale.

I think the clearest picture of Eren’s worldview was given when he spoke to Historia. He said the only way to end the cycle of violence was to destroy the whole world.

That is Eren’s deeply felt belief: there can be no peace or coexistence; the only way to win is to be the last man standing.

This mindset is so natural to him that he will even kill his friends for opposing him.

He told them that they were free to oppose him, and he was free to fight back. That’s how he justifies killing them to himself. They have the choice to oppose him, so if he fights back and kills them, it’s their fault they died, not his, because they could have made the choice to flee and live, but decided to stand and die.

In reality, the alliance is fulfilling a moral duty to protect life, while Eren is an asshole who has killed billions.

The series wasn’t kind to Eren about that. He was depicted as a cheering child as he murdered everyone. The Rumbling was not white washed either. The take away was obviously that Eren’s decision was not the product of a sound mind.

And yet.

Now I have to wonder if the series is seriously trying to say the Rumbling embodies some form of justice.

There are multiple layers to this issue, so let’s start at the surface level.

So in what is obviously a ham-fisted attempt by Isayama to lecture the audience about morality, a Random Commander Guy filibusters about the ills cast by the Marleyans on the Eldians and how this has rebounded back at them.

It is generally considered good writing for characters to get their just desserts. If someone sells drugs to kids, you expect something bad to happen to them. If someone helps a kid cross the street, you expect something good to happen to them.

What’s different between a generic case of just desserts in a story and this chapter in SNK is that the dessert is typically delivered through some nebulous, karmic force, rather than a vengeful twerp with God-like powers.

When the drug dealer’s car blows up, it’s karmic fate, not revenge.

The car doesn’t blow up because one of the kids devoted his life to exacting revenge, it’s because the car just blows up for no reason, or because something completely unrelated to the dealer causes a bomb to be planted in the car, or the dealer brought it on themselves by getting caught up with terrorists.

People may or may not deserve to suffer, but it’s fine to show people suffering if you’re just trying to make a point about how people should act.

Eren’s a different case. For several reasons.

To help untangle why, let’s think about the death penalty.

The death penalty is an example of retributive justice. Put simply, it’s the idea that retribution can be morally just.

The Rumbling is immoral precisely because it is something a supporter of retributive justice would emphatically NOT support.

Most supporters of the death penalty would justify it as an act by a legitimate societal authority. Eren is not that.

Eren is not an authority figure. He does not speak for the Eldian people and has no right to exact this genocide on their behalf. No one made him King of the Eldians. It’s not his place to decide what’s in the Eldian’s best interest.

Also, killing people because “it’s what the scumbag deserves” is usually justified because it’s a sentence for a crime handed down in a legal process.

Rights can be taken away, but not arbitrarily. Transparency is an important part of this. Acts that are a crime are public knowledge, as well as the prescribed punishments. The criminal law is also supposed to apply to everyone equally, not selectively. To say nothing of the law itself being duly enacted by a legitimate governmental authority.

The same principles apply to the process by which a right is taken away. The process must be laid out in a law that was duly enacted by a legitimate government authority, applies to everyone, and is publicly known.

Eren’s process, of *fucking* course, is nothing like this. Eren has no legitimate authority. He’s a Guy With an Opinion who bumbled into attaining absolute power, and now he’s acting on that Opinion.

He not the government punishing a convict. He’s a guy with a gun shooting people he doesn’t like. The Rumbling is not just retribution, it’s just murder.

Commander Guy says that if they knew this would happen, they would have acted differently.

That’s a good point.

Why the fuck do they deserve to die, then?

To some extent, everyone’s worse impulses are kept in check by the knowledge that there will be consequences if they act rashly.

But it’s not just that.

Laws are public knowledge for a reason: it’s fair. If you know your act is a crime and that performing said act will result in a certain punishment, then by committing the act anyway you have tacitly accepted whatever punishment will be meted out.

The moral onus is placed on you.

This is why knowledge that you are committing a crime is necessary to be convicted of a crime.

In principle, the case with the Marleyans is the same. Is it fair to punish someone for an act they did not know would carry that punishment? No.

They may know the act was immoral, but that is not the same thing as knowing it will lead directly to their death.

And needless to say, but you only deserve to be punished for an act if you deserve to be punished for that act. The Marleyans do not deserve to be punished for that act.

There are multiple ways a wrong can be righted. There are punitive ways, in which the perpetrator is harmed outright. There are also restorative ways, in which the victim is compensated for the harm done to them, usually at the expense of the perpetrator.

I have already explained why Eren lacks the authority to pass judgement on the world, and that the process by which he made his decision was completely illegitimate, but it needs to be said that this punishment is totally improper in itself.

Wiping out humanity is purely punitive. To use the obvious analogy, I don’t think any sane person would argue white people deserve to be punished for racism. Supporters of racial justice usually talk about restorative, rather than punitive, forms of justice, like reparations.

The Rumbling does not make the Eldians whole again. It does not restore their trampled dignity. It is purely an act of vengeance.

Casting it as some kind of deserving retribution is crazy.

Oh, and, you know, suffering is bad, so retributive justice is wrong even disregarding everything I just said.

You could theoretically believe life is a miracle, but that people forfeit that right if they act wrongly…it’s not something many people would support.

If Dino!Eren had been depicted as a random force of nature that visited ruination upon humanity, we could have potentially gotten a good story about how hatred leads to no good outcomes. Like how Godzilla is a metaphor for the ills of nuclear weapons.

Instead we get a nihilistic tale about two sides punching each other until one keels over dead. And somehow the one that keels over deserved it.

What makes it nihilistic is that you could easily reverse it. What if right before Eren destroys Fort Salta, aliens invade the Earth and help the Marleyans.

Now the Eldians are on the verge of annihilation and *Eldian* Commander Guy gets his turn to say “Woe is us who surrendered to hate. We deserve this.”

There is no right side or wrong side. No deserving side or innocent side. The Eldians were cheering for genocide the same as the Marleyans. The difference is the Eldians had a God on their side.

The morality of this series is just all over the place.

The Alliance and Eren are equally sinful, but now Eren is an agent of karmic destiny and his victims “deserve it.”

There isn’t much to talk about this chapter besides that.

Armin still hopes to take Eren alive, but good luck with that.

Eren can manifest other titans from his body, which is cool I guess, though it’s pretty clear this power only exists to give the Alliance things to fight.

There were a lot of allusions to parenthood this chapter. The baby and the cliff. Reiner’s mom realizing how shitty she’s been. Historia’s pregnancy. The Commander Guy saying it’s the fault of “us adults.” The numerous shots emphasizing the kids at Fort Salta.

Child abuse is a common theme of SNK. And not just parental abuse, but societal abuse, too. Children are the victims of individual foibles and broader social ills, like racism and police brutality.

The cycle of violence at the heart of the series’ conflict is bad for everyone, but the story emphasizes that it is bad for children in particular. It harms them, and leads to a world that is worse off for them.

If there’s one takeaway from SNK, it’s that we should think of the children. Adults shouldn’t just take care of their kids, they should fix broader social issues, if not for themselves then for the children’s sake.

It’s a fucking insult.

Historia’s pregnancy is all but confirmed here. There’s no way it’s fake. There may have been motive to fake being pregnant, but there is no fucking way she’d have a reason to fake *birth*.

I always leaned towards the pregnancy being real, so that didn’t get to me. What gets me is that Historia is just…there. On Paradis. On the sidelines.

Not only was Historia, who is the only likable female character in this show now, impregnated, she’s also been MIA most the last two story arcs.

I had thought Isayama was saving her for the finale. Surely, Isayama understands that if you sideline a major character for no reason, they have to come into play at some point, I thought. Surely.

Characters are tools; they exist to be used. So use them.

But no, it seems Historia is legit not going to be a thing in this final battle. My dreams of the domineering boss saving the day are dashed.

But what really messes with me is how shafted Historia has been since basically the end of the Uprising Arc.

Historia’s only contribution to the plot after Uprising, but before the pregnancy was making the disastrous decision to make the truth of the world public, which paved the way for Paradis society to become radicalized and back Eren’s coup.

She has done nothing other than that.

Obviously her pregnancy will have thematic importance, but at this point the best Historia stans can hope for is that she’s the main character in the epilogue.

I’ve always assumed the pregnancy was the product of a loving relationship. For all his incompetence with Historia, I was willing to assume Isayama would not force her to carry a forcibly impregnated child to term.

And you know that even if the child is the product of rape, Historia will still have to say she loves and accepts them as her child and will raise them lovingly, with no regard or acknowledgement of the trauma of having to raise a child born out of her being raped.

Because the theme of the story.

All life is a miracle.

All children deserve to be loved.

Even if it was rape.

Except it’s more complicated than that, and I’m terrified to think that Isayama may not understand that.

So for now, I choose to presume that Historia is pregnant because she loves someone, decided to have a family with them, and we’re being led to believe she was raped for shock value.

But arguably more important is what this means for the queer audience.

Historia’s first love interest was another woman.

She’s queer. A lesbian. A dyke. What have you.

Now you’re telling me she either loves a man, or was not only raped, but has to love and accept the child that results from that trauma?

And for what?

So we can end the manga on a speech by Historia moralizing about the value of posterity?

Historia stands at the nexus of two subjects in this manga: the value of posterity and the denigration of queer people.

It is very homophobic of this series to pair a queer character with a dude to affirm a message about the value of children and motherhood.

As if queer people can’t have children.

We seem to be headed down that path.

It didn’t have to be like this.

Queer people can have children through artificial insemination. And artificial insemination is conceivable with Paradis’ current level of technological development.

Isayama is choosing to do this because queer people are not a part of his vision of a world where people, especially children, are able to live free.

That’s very sad, because it shows how empty SNK’s morals are.

So who’s the slave here?

Who here is truly free?

The ones who are free are the ones who aren’t reading Attack on Titan anymore.

[pengychan]

what are your thoughts on the Cruella trailer?

I had to go and watch it after getting the ask because I somehow entirely missed this entire thing. Tbh I don’t have an awful lot of thoughts because I was never that much into Cruella. She was one of... maybe three of the classic Disney villains I didn’t end up rooting for as a very young kid (the other ones being Gaston and Lady Tremaine in case you were wondering. Liked the stepsisters tho).

FUN FACT: a friend of mine watched 101 Dalmatians when it was re-released in cinemas as a child and has been told by her mother that during the car chase, she yelled “you almost got them! Come on! You almost got them!” at Cruella, horrifying everyone present. To this day she says she PROBABLY misunderstood the plot, but hell knows what she thought was going on. Her mother kinda wanted to die on the spot.

Okay back to the trailer - it could be interesting or incredibly dumb, and it all depends on how they handle it. Cruella is a fun villain because she is both despicable and petty, and there are no grand reasons or delusions for doing what she does - she wants a fur coat. That is it. There isn’t much to work with to try for redemption, so I hope they don’t go down that road. It would be a lot more fun to see her turning into the villain we know, discarding any empathy along the way until her Moral Event Horizon happens and the people watching know they can root for her no longer, regardless how potentially sympathetic she may have been at the start. I do like those kind of stories, and if handled well past events can explain a character without being a justification for the shit they pull. Will this thing manage to do that? Will it even try? Eh, guess we have to wait and see.

Same thing with that weird “I am woman, hear me roar” thing - if played straight, it is unbelievably stupid because we all know the reason to oppose her is that she is the kind of person who’d steal and skin puppies for a fur coat, not the fact she is a woman. But I can entirely see Cruella herself thinking that is the reason why, and that she is the very picture of female empowerment or something. If played from that angle - it is her delusion, and not reality, that she is a good example of a Powerful Woman - then I can see it working. Otherwise... yeah, no.

[blissfulalchemist]

43, 48, 49, 50 + tia & stasia xx

Thank you Stella! Here’s your girls! Shout out to @consumedkings for the banners! 

43)   If they could have one thing in life, what would it be?

Stasia has adapted with the times but at the heart of it all she really wants control. Control of the land, control of the people, control over what one thinks and how they see her. The more control she has the more predictable life is which makes for a sense of safety. Her original intentions was to create a place of safety by any means necessary leaning into the role of the villain.

48)   What do they do when they get angry, stressed, or upset?

Stasia for as much as she’s in control of her emotions she is very vocal about her anger. If she’s angry you will know it. You will get either her yelling and out right punishment or the calmer and threatening anger. It is solely dependent on how public it is and who the audience is. She will not take to torture though, at most you’ll get a slower death ie she burns you alive but she’d rather be efficient about it all. You will never know when she is stressed or upset in terms of crying as she will bury these emotions deep down or will remove the source of it as soon as possible.

49)   Would they consider themselves as a good person, bad person, or morally grey?

In her first mortal life she saw herself as a more morally grey person with a few chances at good deeds. There were threads of compassion in what her end goal was but very clouded by the belief that if she showed enough power she could establish that people like her were not to be dealt with. In her immortal life she was bad. She knew it. She didn’t care. She just got what she wanted. At the current moment she finds herself in the morally grey area with leaning more to the bad this time. She must keep up the look of who she was and to gain power and control in the modern world employs the use of tactics that are associated with being very illegal but also technically legal.

50)   Does this OC have any part of you in them? (I.e, personality traits, similar background, etc)

Stasia I feel is the least like me with almost nothing of who I feel I am. At most she is simply a fantasy of who I wish I could be at times. There are many qualities that I admire and while they are on the extreme side do have their use when toned down for everyday life.

43)   If they could have one thing in life, what would it be?

To feel fully alive. Her need to travel stems from a subconscious fear of becoming stuck in a life she never wanted or one where she felt trapped even if she did want it. Anything she does is in pursuit of this feeling and will go with anything that provides this. So while she doesn’t have any plans to settle down, have marriage, and kids she isn’t opposed to this if it feels right to her. She was and still is very content with the possibility of never having anyone in her life and living life on the road until she has no choice but to stop. 

48)   What do they do when they get angry, stressed, or upset?

She’s a quiet angry person but not in the sense that she’ll never tell you that she’s angry. Basically she’ll smile and be like “Okay. I see how it is.” walk away and the next thing you know you’re getting hit, something thrown, car getting keyed, etc. There are times that she is very open with it most of the time its because you aren’t the person she’s actually mad at or she wants you to stop so she’ll intimidate you (See her first meeting of Conner and the poor book to the face). Tia tries to be a hippie about stress and will just let it go or at least let you think that. She tries to hide it the most and you may not know unless you can spot the smaller signs, which can involve her being quieter than usual. Crying and sad upset is something that she also doesn’t really hide and will more need a little time to be very physical about it and loud before she calms to allow to process everything. It can transform into anger and she is still very angry over her father not being around while her mother was sick and dying. The actual death of her mother involved the house being a bit trashed once she got home from the funeral home.

49)   Would they consider themselves as a good person, bad person, or morally grey?

She fluctuates between good and morally grey. She does a lot of good things, she has a lot of good intentions, she is hardly mean to people, but she’s not above harming and even killing. Maybe once upon a time but since being trained to know how to do so, she isn’t afraid to if the situation calls for it.

50)   Does this OC have any part of you in them? (I.e, personality traits, similar background, etc)

I’d like to believe that she has the bubbly happy personality I can gain when I know people well and feel comfortable with my environment, but she has it cranked up especially when you add in her self confidence. We also share this admiration of the night sky that feels hard to describe but we both feel a need to look at the night sky when it’s clear.

[mittensmorgul]

I've watched season 11 again, and I have a question if you're willing to answer. In season 5, Cas was very disappointed about learning God was basically a "dead beat dad," as Dean called it. But when Cas had an opportunity to talk to Chuck, he didn't seem all that interested in talking to him or even asking a question or two. Why do you think they never had Cas interact with Chuck as a son talking to his father when it was such a huge deal for Cas in season 5?

Hi there! I’m happy to talk about this, because honestly I was personally GLAD that Cas treated Chuck the way he did in s11.

(A/N: I was halfway through writing this when my power went out last night, so now that everything is back on I’m gonna see if I remember wtf I was even talking about... if this goes sideways halfway through, blame Potomac Edison)

Cas had already realized long before exactly who and what Chuck was. I mean, not that Chuck was actually God, but that God and “His Plan” was always a load of BS.

Chuck left the angels a lot of conflicting information, and not a lot in the Free Will and Critical Thinking arena. I was just thinking about season 6, and this sort of feeds into a lot of the same distinction between Cas and the rest of the angels. My personal line of thinking earlier this evening was this line in 6.20:

CASTIEL I'm doing this for you, Dean. I'm doing this because of you. DEAN Because of me. Yeah. You got to be kidding me. CASTIEL You're the one who taught me that freedom and free will -- DEAN You're a freakin' child, you know that? Just because you can do what you want doesn't mean that you get to do whatever you want!

Major Tangent Warning, because I gotta write out what I was thinking earlier in order to explain why I am So Pleased with Cas and his reaction to Chuck in s11, which I think of as abject disdain. This is key to everything Cas had learned, to all of his growth as a person up to that point.

What Dean tells Cas here is in direct contradiction to what Raphael’s self-stated motive in restarting the apocalypse was. Also from 6.20:

RAPHAEL You rebelled - against God, heaven, and me. Now you will atone. We'll start by freeing Lucifer and Michael from their cage. And then we'll get our show back on the road. CASTIEL Raphael...No. The Apocalypse doesn't have to be fought! RAPHAEL Of course it does. It's God's will. CASTIEL How can you say that?! RAPHAEL Because it's what I want. CASTIEL Well, the other angels won't let you. RAPHAEL Are you sure? You know better than anyone, Castiel. They're soldiers. They weren't built for freedom. They were built to follow.

Raphael is just doing “whatever he wants,” in the way Dean was trying to convince Cas NOT to. Because if Dean learns anything in s6, it is the cosmic cost of his own actions. Think 6.11, and the lessons he learns having to play Death for a day. As much as Dean tries to work around the Bigger Picture of the Universe, he does understand that there is a right and a wrong, and that some things are worth fighting or even dying for, but the cost might sometimes just be too great. And unleashing all the souls in purgatory on the planet seems like just a different sort of apocalyptic level of bad... like putting out a fire with a flamethrower.

Cas had to make a choice here. He’d chosen his path every step of the way, wrestled with each decision he’d had to make over the previous year leading up to that point, but he’d passed the point of no return, and his direct prayer to Chuck went unanswered, and he never got a sign whether he was doing the right thing or not.

I’ve argued in the past that he absolutely DID get a sign, in the form of Dean telling him to stop in 6.20. But Cas dismissed him, out of pride, out of hubris, out  of desperation to do the one thing he believed could give him the power to stop Apocalypse 2.0, save Heaven, and also save Dean in the process, since Dean would be back on the radar to be Michael’s vessel if Raphael succeeded in breaking him out of the Cage.

And here’s the really tangenty part of the tangent: it just made me think of all the nitwits who won’t wear a mask in public, or follow social distancing rules because MAH FREEDUMB, you’re impinging on MAH LIBERTY. BUT THE CONSTITUTION!

Because yes, we can do what we want, but we can’t do WHATEVER we want when our actions are harmful to others!

The framers of the Constitution could never have foreseen a pandemic like this. But any SOCIETY where people must coexist needs to put some constraints on liberty, and the framers absolutely DID understand this.

They also couldn’t have foreseen air travel, but we have established rules about this. They couldn’t have foreseen cars and traffic lights and interstate highways, and yet we have rules that govern our behavior there, as well. Air traffic controllers, stop signs, speed limits-- we don’t just have the right to drive 90 mph through a school zone and run through red lights. And yet nobody yells BUT MAH FREEDUMB! when they get a speeding ticket.

Polite society ALSO must include *MY* right not to be killed because someone else decided that traffic laws didn’t apply to them, see?

Basically, wear your mask and shut up about it, whiny pissbabies. This is what is required of you to live in a functioning society. You do NOT have the right to infect others with a potentially deadly illness. Full stop.

But back to Cas and the Leviathan infection he’s about to infest the entire planet with...

Dean was effectively giving him the “wear a mask, nitwit” speech, but on a cosmic level.

And Cas had to live with the consequences of his choice, with the GUILT and DEPRESSION that resulted. And he spent the next few seasons desperately trying to make up for what he’d done, to atone and do whatever he could to redeem himself-- to Dean. He’d tried to redeem himself to Heaven, but the more he eventually began to learn about Humanity, the less affinity he felt for his fellow angels, and for Chuck’s construct of Heaven.

Because back to another previous point, Chuck effectively left the angels two opposing sets of instructions: orders to watch over the earth and act as shepherds to humanity, and orders to bring on the apocalypse at any cost. Can’t do both, truly. Even Naomi will eventually say, right before Metatron stabs her in the head, that she (and the other angels) forgot that their true mission was to protect and defend humanity, and she didn’t know when or why that ever changed.

FINALLY back to the point! WHEEE!

Basically, Cas has, in the six years between s5 and s11, experienced “god-ness” from every angle, experienced his own guilt over what he now believes were misguided actions, that sometimes Humanity has a better answer, and there are some things that just aren’t worth it in the long run.

Mostly, he’s realized just HOW deadbeat Chuck has always been. And the revelation that Chuck had actually been God all along? Saw their pain and suffering at trying to STOP the apocalypse all those years before? KNEW FULL WELL that Sam, Dean and Cas were doing everything they could to try and save the world from basically the entirety of Heaven and Hell, who were plotting the destruction of humanity and most of creation with it. I mean... Cas spent s5 begging for God’s help, to save the world, to convince Michael and Lucifer that they did not have to destroy humanity, and Chuck... had done LESS than nothing. He’d sat there and ghoulishly watched the entire mess unfold like a bad tv show... oh wait... :’D

By s11, Lucifer had not reached that point that Cas had. Lucifer had many other issues, having been rejected and locked up for most of existence, and even HE had been the one in 5.22 to try and talk Michael out of enacting Chuck’s battle plan. Lucifer never had the experiences Cas did (and despite being given every opportunity to have them over the next few seasons after s11, he continues to reject those experienced at every turn anyway, only serving to highlight the difference between Cas and, honestly, most of the rest of the angels). Lucifer had a personal need for a direct apology from Chuck for everything he’d been put through-- starting with taking on the original Mark and ending with the cage.

Of course Lucifer didn’t get an honest apology, because in the end, it was all just a theoretical production to Chuck. He had never apologized, in any of his universes, to any of the beings he created. And he never would. And on some level, Cas-- via his experiences, what he himself had already come to understand about God and creation-- already understood this about Chuck.

Cas... didn’t care about him anymore. He cared about HUMANITY, about Chuck’s CREATION. The creator might be a worthless jerk, but what came out of his creation is a thing of ultimate beauty. Humanity, love, free will, and the beauty of the universe is what ends up saving the world in 11.23, so I’ve chosen to accept this read of Cas and his relationship and opinions of Chuck. Because it’s perfectly in line with the “moral” of season 11.

Plus it’s just so personally satisfying to me watching each individual character’s reactions to Chuck, and understanding how that aligns with all of their personal arcs.

Dean: brought the “how could your forsake your creation” of a broken-hearted son who has finally seen the truth. something he worked out YEARS ago between himself and his own father, so it didn’t come with that particular personal baggage and didn’t completely break him in the process (as it may have done with Cas had Chuck revealed himself, say, in 7.01...)

Sam: brought his life-long hope that God was real, his faith in God’s inherent “goodness,” did the Chuck Fanboy for a bit before seeing Chuck a lot more clearly. He was able to relinquish his idol worship of Chuck as the Savior of Humanity.

Cas: had brought his experience of Humanity and Godhood, the entire spectrum of Creation that he had experienced for himself and grown through. Cas, for all his mistakes, had never stopped TRYING to do the right thing, never stopped doing everything in his power to save humanity and creation from every cosmic threat, while Chuck himself had only hidden away and watched from the sidelines, when he’d ALWAYS had the power to make everything good and right and allow the Winchesters their peace. Honestly, what BETTER response than to treat Chuck like a bit of gum stuck to his shoe?

Metatron: who had basically spent s9 trying to turn himself into Chuck Lite, literally plagiarizing his Supernatural novels to create his own origin story as the new God, and failed miserably. What other angel could truly confront Chuck, writer to writer, and call him out for His Story? Even fallen as low as he could go, Metatron understood first-hand the responsibility of The Cosmic Author in ways even Cas couldn’t, because narrative symmetry. Metatron was always about the Word, as God’s Scribe. He was a bad copy of the original with the names scratched out. He basically wrote the worst self-insert fanfic of all time. And that gave him the narrative space to confront Chuck about everything that Cas no longer had. Cas had long since rejected that role, sided with Humanity, and smashed Chuck’s Word. The original tablet-breaker.

Crowley: carried on Crowley-ing. Doing the best he could with what he had, and somehow miraculously BS’ing his way through.

Rowena: recognized the Biggest Power in the room and ingratiated herself to it for comfort and protection, and hopefully for a bit of power and security.

Billie: gosh she just stepped in at the 11th hour to annoy Chuck. :’D

But yeah, I’ve always been incredibly pleased that Cas basically ignored Chuck in s11. Good for him.

[copperbadge]

Do you have any thoughts about the announced adaptation of 'the City Watch' books by BBC America? Opinions seem pretty mixed in the fandom and I'd love to hear your take?

For a show I was almost definitely never going to watch from the outset, I have more thoughts about the Watch adaptation than I really know what to do with, to be honest. It’s actually hard to assemble them coherently. 

There are basically three strands of opinion I have about watching The Watch: personal, critical, and literary. 

The personal: 

I don’t have a great history of enjoying media adaptations of Terry Pratchett’s work. One reason I didn’t watch Good Omens until a month or two after its release is that I knew this about myself and I didn’t want to turn it on, get disappointed, and turn it off, as I’d done with The Hogfather (we need not speak of The Animated Soul Music, lord). Granted, the Death books are not my favorites, so I was never going to deeply engage with The Hogfather, and then they came out with The Colour Of Magic, another non-favorite, so I skipped it, and so I was super disengaged by the time Going Postal came out (though I should really give Going Postal a chance because I do love Going Postal as a book). So I acknowledge this isn’t objective, this is personal, but it’s still a factor.  

So I’m not coming into this whole situation with The Watch as someone who actually wants, or enjoys, TV adaptations of Pterry’s books, Good Omens notwithstanding – and let’s be real, Good Omens is an outlier. It was a collaboration, one of the original authors had deep control over the adaptation, and also Good Omens isn’t a Discworld book. It’s much more thoroughly rooted in our known reality, which makes it easier to convey to television. But my ultimate point is that when I hear about a Discworld book being adapted to TV, I shrug and move on. I have the books. I don’t need the shows. 

The critical: 

I think it is a bad habit of fandom that we extrapolate a lot of inference from a relatively small amount of data – we tend to take a couple of photos, a press release, some casting information, and very quickly make a large set of assumptions. It’s not necessarily that these assumptions are wrong, but we jump to a lot of conclusions. I’m thinking of early backlash over Good Omens, which I don’t even remember what it was about but I remember Gaiman having to get pretty stern about “could you wait until at least the trailer is out before jumping down my throat”. I’m also thinking of the casting of David Thewlis as Remus Lupin, which was not well-received until we saw more than blurry set photos. 

Now, all that having been said, some of the casting news has been…difficult. On the one hand, a Black Sybil Ramkin? Sign me the fuck up. On the other, I know that for a lot of people, having a Sybil who is both large and older is really important (I think it’s important too). Especially if Vimes is older, it’s creepy and backwards to have Sybil be young and hollywood-idea-of-pretty (even if the time travel element is involved, it gets into a weird area). Also, I’m really over only ever casting people of color as villains or supporting-role-women. Vimes canonically comes from a “poor but respectable” neighborhood that could easily be reframed as an ethnic neighborhood, which would be especially pointed and interesting given his family’s long connection to the history of the city. An Indian or part-Indian Sam Vimes would be really, really interesting and cool, for example. 

There’s also a lot of discussion about casting a nonbinary person as Cheery and explicitly setting Cheery up as nonbinary, as opposed to explicitly a trans woman*, especially since in the books she identifies as a woman, not as nonbinary. But I’m not entirely sure if Cheery as nonbinary is actually going to be canon or if that’s just the reporting on the show not knowing how to handle the whole Female Dwarf situation. Not everyone interprets Cheery as trans at all, either, because of how dwarf gender identity works, which complicates matters somewhat, so I’m not going to wade too far into these waters. I do think it’s great enby actors are getting work in enby roles, but there’s some issues there that need further examination. 

(* Note -- corrected the above after it was pointed out to me that NB are not trans light; I’ve changed it to trans woman rather than trans-as-umbrella-term, more here.)

So I think overall it’s early days to make a lot of calls about what The Watch will and won’t be, but I also think there’s a lot of reason to be concerned and annoyed, and that brings us to the real, hardcore reason that I saw the first reporting on The Watch and immediately noped out: 

The literary:

“Punk rock thriller.”

Oh go fuck yourself. 

Despite everything I said above about not making snap judgements I immediately read that it would be a dark punk rock thriller police procedural and went “Well, guess that’s that” and walked away from the idea of being even vaguely excited about this show, because what I read demonstrated a basic, fundamental lack of grip on what the Watch books are about. 

One, the Watch books aren’t about crime. They really genuinely aren’t. The crimes are macguffins on which to hang social commentary about other things entirely. Even in the very earliest Watch books, when Pterry was still mostly making fun of high fantasy, the crimes the Watch investigated were committed in the service of a larger discussion about things like totalitarianism, interculturalism, and civic life. There’s at least one moment, and I believe several but I’d have to re-read the books to be sure, where Pterry explicitly makes fun of murder mysteries where the hero Solves Crimes Like Sherlock Holmes. Vimes hates clues. Feet Of Clay has an extended subplot about how you 100% cannot trust clues even when the author is the one feeding them to you. I do not want a Watch series that is about Clues.  

Two, the Watch books are explicitly the antithesis of the action genre. They have action in them, but the point is that nobody in these books are action heroes; they’re ordinary people attempting to go about their jobs in a situation where that constantly becomes increasingly difficult. I read “punk rock thriller” and I thought to myself of the dedication of Guards! Guards!: 

They may be called the Palace Guard, the City Guard, or the Patrol. Whatever the name, their purpose in any work of heroic fantasy is identical: it is, round about Chapter Three (or ten minutes into the film) to rush into the room, attack the hero one at a time, and be slaughtered. No one ever asks them if they want to. This book is dedicated to those fine men.

This does get a bit tricky because by the end of Snuff, Vimes is very heroic, almost too heroic for my comfort, but at the same time his heroism is of a very specific sort: he is heroic not because he slaughters the palace guard who get in his way or shoots the baddie or blows up a cop car with a helicopter (or vice versa) but because he deeply, intensely hates those things, and wants nothing to do with them. He is heroic because he is forced into it by circumstance, but spite in the face of monstrousness is what powers him. I think of The Fifth Elephant, where Vimes has just killed a werewolf: 

There were a lot of things he could say. “Son of a bitch!” would have been a good one. Or he could say, “Welcome to civilization!” He could have said, “Laugh this one off!” He might have said, “Fetch!” But he didn’t, because if he had said any of those things then he’d have known that what he had just done was murder.

I don’t trust someone who thinks The Watch should be reimagined as a thriller to understand Sam Vimes. Like, there’s room for interpretation as to Vimes’ character, but there is a fundamental underlying bedrock Vimes is built on and if you don’t grasp the broad points of that, you’re just writing a cop show with some names stitched on.  

Three, the Watch books aren’t a static series, they aren’t like cozy mysteries where the circumstances change but the hero rarely does. That’s nothing against cozy mysteries; I love mystery novels and some of my favorites involve characters who don’t even age over the course of the forty years the books were written in. But you cannot pastiche the Watch and expect it to work. 

Again this is a bit of extrapolation based on low amounts of data but I think it’s probably accurate – the casting indicates that either we’re dealing with the events of Night Watch or at the very least heavily engaged with aspects of it. But Night Watch, while I think it’s one of Pterry’s best books hands down, doesn’t exist in a vacuum. It is one point in a very specific developmental arc, not just for Vimes but for the entire Watch. If we’re dealing just with the plot of Night Watch (which I don’t think we are) that’s tough to pull off. If, as I suspect, they’re going to be pulling from various aspects of various Watch books, then that’s just fucking nonsense. 

Even Carrot, who is a very constant figure, undergoes some fundamental shifts in personality between Guards! Guards! and, say, The Fifth Elephant. Vimes, while maintaining his personal moral and ethical code, undergoes a radical shift between Guards! Guards! and Night Watch, and he continues to develop emotionally and in some ways spiritually up until Snuff. The Vimes who bitches about diversity in hiring in Men At Arms will not react to any given situation the way the Vimes who befriends the goblins in Snuff will. 

And because these books also all address very specific issues, you can’t just slam them all together and expect to get anything resembling the Watch as Pterry envisioned it over the course of the books.

So while I love the comedy, the characters, the plots, even the macguffin crimes, I believe that a Watch book – a Discworld book of any kind – without that satirical bite is just a high-fantasy husk. There’s no point to it, nothing that sets it apart from a bad Saturday Night Live skit about Game of Thrones. The tv series might actually turn out great and all my concerns will have been unfounded, but first looks aren’t promising on a number of really basic levels. 

So we’ll see. If I’m wrong, great; the show will probably electrify fandom in the same way Good Omens did. If I’m right, well, I had no hopes to begin with, so I’ll just enjoy re-reading Night Watch, which is the book that got me back into fandom and which you can all blame for my presence here today. :D

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Heyo, random ask time! Which season do you like more/Is better in your opinion? Season 1 or Season 4? That's a hard question for a lotta people. (bonus if you want: do you like ben paul?)

Season 4, without a doubt. 

S4 is the best game in the series for a number of reasons, and while s1 is what kickstarted the series and Clementine’s story, there’s a lot more that I dislike about it nowadays than I did before. 

We talked about this during the s1 stream and we concluded the nostalgia plays a bigger role in why everyone loves s1 than most would think. Like, don’t get me wrong, Lee Everett is still one of my favorite protagonists of all time, there are a lot of moral dilemma's and tough choices that have stuck with me for a long time, and the story is fairly solid for the most part. 

But...

-Game mechanics are a nightmare a good 60% of the time. 

I mean, it’s funny to hold the run button and watch Lee zip around, but the camera angles aren’t always the greatest. I will always prefer the over the shoulder camera in s4. 

On top of that, the shooting segments? Awful. GOD AWFUL. The shootout at the motor inn in ep3 is the worst and I usually die a handful of times because the controls are horrendous. 

Also, plenty of bugs. Not that s4 doesn’t have bugs, especially in the Definitive Edition because slapping a filter over everything makes it okay but I feel like s1 has way more. At least, in my playing experience. 

-Much more unlikable characters within the group. 

I have my favorites, like Carley, Omid, Chuck, etc....... but then you have fucking Larry, Lilly, Kenny, Ben, Mark...

We all know how I feel about Larry and Lilly, and while I much prefer Kenny in s1 opposed to s2... he’s still not the greatest. Unless you kiss his ass at every turn- eh, excuse me, unless you’re loyal to him, he’s an asshole. I get it, people like him do exist but having him be realistically written like this doesn’t mean he’s automatically likable. Because he’s not. 

That may sound harsh because he does goes through some shit in s1, and I get that and it’s heartbreaking... but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s an asshole, nor does it excuse certain behaviors. 

Mark is annoying, and as for Ben? I don’t hate Ben. I actually like Ben, but ugh, the kid is a goddamn liar a good 90% of the game and I spend most of the time scolding him. I still believe that they could’ve redeemed him and used his “screw up/liar” character as a base to grow into a respectable survivor. But then they killed him... so yeah. 

But compared to our group in s4? There isn’t a single character I dislike or can’t stand at Ericson and that’s impressive. Even with Marlon and what he did, I don’t hate him. I feel like the way I feel about Marlon is perhaps the way I’m supposed to feel about Kenny...? In a way? Kind of? Weird comparison but you feel me? Despite the bullshit, I still like him and his complex character. 

Also, s4 has Louis and that automatically makes it better in my book. 

-Lame final antagonist.

The Stranger as a character is lame. I’m sorry, but he is, especially when you compare him to the game's greatest antagonists the St. Johns. What he did as far as manipulating and kidnapping Clementine is awful, and because of this Lee got bit, but as far as his motivations? They don’t make as much sense when you stop and think about it. 

Well, okay, they make sense... but once you consider questions like, “Why did you leave the car running with the keys in the ignition? You couldn’t have gone far enough to NOT hear a group of strangers approaching, so how did you NOT know it was us until you happen to find Clem on the walkie? Wouldn’t it make more sense for you to see the car get robbed, are too afraid to approach, and then plan a way to get your revenge with your family? Why did you have two completely different voices/speech patterns when talking on the walkie vs in person?” things start to fall apart. 

This really kills me to say because I fucking LOATHE Lilly... but she is 10x a better antagonist than the Stranger. I shit on her a lot, but at least her story makes sense. Even she knows what they’re doing is stupid but her cockiness is what makes her do sloppy shit, she has an actual connection to the protagonist and she’s an actual threat. 

The Stranger is the worst because he actually makes me say decent things about Lilly and I don’t like that. 

-I prefer the Clem/AJ dynamic than the Lee/Clem, and Clementine as a protagonist in general. 

Which I’m sure some would consider a sin, but it’s true. Clem and Lee had a strong bond, there’s no doubt about that... but fucking hell, Clementine and AJ as a duo is just so much better.

 The whole “Your choices will shape AJ as a person” is much better, they actually feel like a duo rather than the “I protect small child” relationship Lee and Clem had, and their characters bounce off each other super well. 

And I love Lee, but I enjoy playing as Clementine more. 

In my opinion, Clem’s at her best in s4 and she’s a delight to play as. Lee’s great, but Clementine’s better, in my opinion. 

[whumphoarder]

D is for Diploma

Summary: Between all of his commitments, Peter’s grades start slipping, putting him in danger of losing his academic scholarship to Midtown. Stressed and guilt-ridden about the effect this will have on May’s finances, he ends up worrying himself sick and having a breakdown in Tony’s lab.

Word count: 3,759

Genre: emotional hurt/comfort, angst, hurt/comfort

A/N: Thanks so much to @xxx-cat-xxx and @sallyidss for beta reading and encouragement <3

Link to read on Ao3

“But how are you getting a C in gym class?” Ned balks at his friend. He’s peering over Peter’s shoulder as he scrolls through his quarterly grades on the school library computer. “Everyone gets an A. I’m getting an A. All you gotta do is show up and at least look like you’re trying and boom, automatic A.”

Peter rubs a hand at the back of his neck sheepishly. “So, remember after the Rhino dude attacked me, how I had all those bruises that didn’t heal right away?”

“Yeah...” Ned recalls, frowning. “But you said they didn’t hurt.”

“They didn’t! Not really, anyway,” Peter says quickly. “But like, I didn’t really want everyone to see that, so I kinda didn’t change into my uniform. And apparently if you don’t change, Wilson just marks you as absent.”

“Ah.” Ned gives him a sympathetic wince. “Yeah, that’s lame.”

“What I don’t understand,” MJ pipes up, glancing up from the book she’s had her nose in all afternoon, “is the D in Spanish. Rodríguez isn’t even a hard teacher.”

Peter’s face flushes with embarrassment. “So… I might have forgotten to submit a couple assignments.”

She quirks an eyebrow. “You forgot? He reminds us what’s due, like, three times every class period.”

“I mean, it was just the take-home quiz...” he mumbles. “And some of the homework sheets. Oh, and that cultural essay thing about the ancient Mayans.”

“Peter.” She blinks at him. “That was like, twenty percent of our grade.”

“Well, to be fair, I did have a concussion,” he defends. “It was a little hard to remember stuff that week.”

Ned rolls his eyes. “Oh yeah, that makes it so much better.”

Peter huffs out a laugh. Honestly, between all the hours he’s been logging lately as Spider-Man, his frequent internship nights with Tony in the lab, the increasingly demanding decathlon practice schedule as their team moves toward regionals, and the weekend shifts he’s started picking up at Delmar’s (because, let’s face it, the vigilante life isn’t the most lucrative career path—the occasional free churro notwithstanding), Peter thinks he’s been doing quite well juggling everything. Sure, his grades aren’t quite the neat row of A’s and the occasional B he’s grown accustomed to throughout his school career, but it’s not like he’s failing anything.

“I’ve just got different priorities now,” Peter says with a shrug. “I still show up and I’m passing all my classes, so what does the grade matter?”

MJ returns the shrug, looking vaguely impressed with him. “It doesn’t really. I’ve always been morally opposed to using arbitrary numerical values as a measure of academic success.” She shifts her gaze back to her novel before adding, offhandedly, “But you gotta admit, the tuition break is nice.”

And in those nine little words, she might as well have punched him in the gut.

“Oh shit,” Peter breathes out. Hurriedly, he starts gathering books together and getting to his feet.

“What?” Ned asks, looking puzzled.

“Um, I gotta go,” he blurts. And then before anyone can say another word, he’s out of the library doors.

X

The Parkers aren’t poor, exactly.

May works full-time at her job as a neonatal nurse, besides picking up extra shifts one or two nights a month to give them a bit of cushion. Between her wages and the social security checks that come every month from Ben’s pension, the two of them get by. Sure, Peter might not have name-brand clothes or the coolest tech or even a pair of gym shoes without a bit of duct tape on the soles, but there’s always been food on the table and a roof over his head, so Peter’s never stressed that much about their financial situation.

Maybe that’s how he managed to completely forget about his academic scholarship.

He’s qualified for it ever since he passed Midtown’s entrance exams in the top tenth percentile back in eighth grade. The money is substantial—slightly over two-thirds of the tuition cost is paid for him—and the scholarship automatically renews every semester provided he maintains a grade point average of 3.3 or higher, which has never been a problem for him.

That is, up until now. Factoring in his B in history, the C’s in gym and trig, and his D in Spanish, his GPA is currently sitting at 2.9.

Peter is going to lose his scholarship.

X

With less than two weeks left before finals, Peter starts cramming in all the studying he can manage. He stays up late, pouring over his trigonometry notes, trying to work his way through all the practice problems he’s been slacking on. He makes a point of showing up three minutes early to gym class every day, even if he has to use a bit of his enhanced speed to get all the way there from the chem labs on the other side of the building. On the train, he quizzes himself on the names of historical figures and the dates of battles long-since fought. Some of his teachers are willing to work with him, letting him turn in late assignments for partial credit or giving him additional projects to complete.

And then there’s Spanish.

“Isn’t there some kind of extra credit project I can do?” Peter begs. “Anything?”

It’s his study hall period and he’s at Señor Rodríguez’s desk for the second day in a row, desperately hoping for anything that could give his grade the boost it needs.

“I’m sorry, Peter,” his teacher says, sounding genuinely regretful. “But you’ve had countless opportunities this semester to get your grade up via homework and test retakes, all of which you neglected to take advantage of. Coming to me with less than ten days left in the semester requesting make up work for assignments worth significant percentages of your grade is simply too little, too late.”

“But… I had a concussion that week,” Peter argues. “Like, right when it was all due. And I would have done the work before, but…” He trails off, unable to finish his sentence without explaining his unorthodox extracurriculars. “I...I was busy,” he concludes weakly.

Rodríguez raises an eyebrow a little skeptically. “I didn’t receive any notes from the nurse’s office about this concussion.”

Peter glances down to his feet. “Well, that’s because she didn’t know, exactly…”

No one did—not even May. After getting all those bruises the week before, Peter didn’t want anyone to know he was hurt again so soon. Apparently Karen hadn’t deemed the blow to the head he took severe enough to override his wishes. He’d just dealt with the headaches and brain fog the best he could and sort of floated through that week on his own. In hindsight, maybe not his best plan.

“Well, I guess this is a good life lesson for you then, Peter,” Rodríguez says. His voice is firm, but not unkind. “Part of growing up is taking responsibility and learning to communicate with authority figures before you get into trouble.”

“Right, and I get that,” Peter babbles, “I just—”

His teacher holds up a finger, quieting him. “My job is to train my students for success in the real world, and sometimes that means reminding you that actions have consequences. ¿Lo entiendes?”

And Peter finds himself nodding. Because, despite the pool of dread growing in his gut, he does understand. He wants to be mad, wants to say it’s unfair and the universe gave him a raw deal and he doesn’t deserve this. But he can’t. Rodríguez is right.

And Peter’s still fucked.

X

By the time Friday rolls around, Peter’s barely functioning. Besides all the extra assignments and studying for finals, he’s had three days in a row of Decathlon practices, followed by some particularly eventful evening patrols that all went quite a bit later than his usual curfew of ten p.m.

He can’t get much of his lunch down today, which does nothing to appease his friends’ concerned looks. The food seems tasteless in his mouth and he’s so tired he nearly nods off into his cafeteria chicken nuggets.

When school finally lets out, he’s surprised and a little disheartened to see the sleek black car waiting for him in the bus circle. He’d totally forgotten it was an internship weekend.

Figures.

X

Peter groans as he disconnects the circuits he just switched out. He’s been trying to fix a bug in his suit’s heater upgrade for the last twenty minutes now, but nothing he attempts is working and his head is throbbing so much that his vision is hazy.

“Just try again, kid,” Tony encourages absently from across the workshop. He’s not looking up, fully engrossed as he is in his own project. “You got this.”

“Yeah...” Peter mutters under his breath. Blinking a few times, he rubs a hand at his eyes to try to clear his vision.

He connects a different wire. That one doesn’t yield any better results, so he unplugs it and tries again. Then again. Then again. He’s fairly sure he’s already tried the next combination, but he’s so tired he can’t remember so he does it again just to be sure. Nothing.

Peter is so frustrated now that his hands are actually shaking. He pauses and takes a deep breath before trying again.

This time, the wire sparks at him.

“I can’t do this!” Peter exclaims, shoving the suit away from him across the table. “I can’t do anything! Why am I so fucking stupid?!”

He’s breathing heavily now, tears clouding his vision even further. Within a few seconds he feels Tony’s hand rest heavily on his shoulder. It should be comforting, but it only makes Peter feel pathetic.

“C’mon, just take a deep breath and—”

“No!” Peter blurts, shaking away from Tony’s grip. “That’s not going to fix anything! I can’t fix this—don’t you see?!”

Stepping backwards, Tony holds his hands up in front of his chest, keeping his expression perfectly neutral. “Okay…” he says carefully. “I think you might need a break.”

Tears prick at Peter’s eyes and he instantly regrets snapping at his mentor. “No, no, I didn’t mean that! I’m s-sorry, ’m fine…” he says. It would probably sound a lot more convincing if his breath would stop hitching.

Tony lifts an eyebrow. “Yeah, no, I’m pulling rank here,” he declares. “It’s break time.”

“No!” Peter protests. His hands fumble back on the table for the wires.  “I gotta finish it! It’s so close, it’s just—” He cuts himself off as the images of the suit swim before his eyes, his head throbbing. “I, I need to finish…” he concludes lamely.

“Peter, just stop,” Tony says with an exasperated sigh. “You’re no good like this.”

Somehow, those words are the catalyst. Peter feels every emotion he’s been bottling up for the past week erupt inside of him. His breath hitches and his head pulses. “I, I know I’m not,” he manages to say, “but that’s why I gotta… gotta finish, then maybe—”

“Jesus, kid,” Tony breathes out. “That’s not what I meant at all. I was just saying—”

Peter cuts him off. “No, I… I know…” Tears are sliding down Peter’s cheeks now. He runs a hand through his hair, shoulders shaking. “’M sorry.”

Tony’s eyes are a mixture of concern and confusion. “Whoa, hey, what’s going on here?” Tugging the edge of his sleeve over his thumb, Tony uses it to wipe a few of the tears off his cheeks. “Talk to me.”

Honestly, Peter doesn’t even know where to begin. The frustration of his current project, the lack of sleep, his grades, the scholarship…

“I just… I-I have a headache.”

Peter doesn’t know why he says it—the pressure in his skull doesn’t even rank very high on his list of concerns at the moment, yet the simple physicality of it somehow makes it the easiest thing to admit. He rubs the back of his hand at his eyes, but his vision is still so blurry. “Can’t really see straight…”

Tony’s brows knit together. “Is it a migraine?”

“N-No,” Peter says between choked sobs. “Or... I don’t know, I don’t th-think so?” Despite never having had a migraine, he’s pretty sure that’s not what this is. The pain isn’t anything exceptional—it’s just that he can’t seem to stop crying and he’s so fucking tired.

“Either way, I think you’ll feel better once you’ve got a couple painkillers in you,” Tony reasons. “C’mon, let’s get you sorted out.”

Peter shakes his head in weak protest. “No, ’s’okay... “

“Nope,” Tony says, his voice a little more firm. “Trust me on this, you don’t want to work in a lab right now. It’s bright, and loud, and honestly, you’re a bit of a safety hazard at the moment.”

To Peter’s horror, a fresh wave of emotion comes over him and he finds himself properly crying now, his frame wracking with each sob.

“Okay, okay, alright…” Tony murmurs, and Peter feels a hand awkwardly patting him on the back.

It’s all so idiotic, Peter decides, standing in Tony’s lab, crying over things that are completely his own fault and a headache that isn’t even that bad.

“You’re okay, kid,” Tony whispers. “Just breathe.”

As Peter struggles to pull himself together, he feels the hand switch to rubbing circles on his back. It moves up to the back of his neck, but halts as soon as Tony’s fingers touch Peter’s bare skin.

Tony frowns. “Do you have a fever?”

“Wh-What?” Peter’s throat is thick.

“You’re really warm,” Tony explains. He flips his hand around to press the back of his fingers to Peter’s skin, first on his neck, then on his cheek. “Yeah. FRIDAY, can we get a read on that?”

“100.7, boss,” she supplies.

Tony hums a bit. “Yeah, that’s about what I thought…”

Peter doesn’t get it. “B-But I’m not sick,” he protests. “Just—”

“Exhausted,” Tony finishes for him. “When’s the last time you had a full night’s sleep?”

Sniffling, Peter gives a non-committal shrug.

“Yeah, that’s not good, kid,” Tony huffs. “Take it from a guy who has a bit of experience in this area—not sleeping enough will seriously mess you up.”

With a hand on Peter’s back, Tony starts gently ushering the kid out of the lab. Peter doesn’t even bother protesting anymore as he shuffles along, his lip quivering. He figures he’s caused enough trouble today.

Tony deposits him onto the couch in the living room and Peter immediately curls up against the arm rest, squeezing his eyelids shut in an effort not to think about what a fool he’s making of himself in front of his mentor. It doesn’t help much.

“You just chill out for a minute here, okay?” Tony says quietly, draping a blanket over Peter. “I’m gonna get you some meds.”

Peter nods and Tony gives his shoulder a final squeeze before stepping out.

The second he’s alone, the tears start streaming down again, hot and silent and totally uncontrollable. If he’s not working in the lab, then he really should be studying for these stupid finals, but he can’t bring himself to pull out his flash cards. He doesn’t think he can rest—not with so much hanging over his head—but he can’t work either. Tony was right; he’s just no good right now.

When Tony reenters with painkillers and a glass of water, he doesn’t say anything about how Peter is hurriedly sitting up and scrubbing his face with his hands in a pointless attempt to pull himself together. He just presses two pills into Peter’s palm.

Looking down at the painkillers in his shaking hand, Peter’s stomach twists and he’s suddenly not so sure they’ll be able to stay down. “I can’t. I feel sick,” he admits in a whisper.

With a quiet sigh, Tony perches himself on the edge of the sofa, right beside Peter’s tucked knees. “I think you’re just tired, kiddo. Sometimes that makes you feel a little sick.”

Peter doesn’t say anything so Tony passes him the glass of water. “Here. Humor me,” he says. “If I’m wrong, I’ll pay for the dry cleaning.”

It’s a stupid joke, but the corners of Peter’s lips twitch anyway. “Okay,” he croaks.

Peter slips the pills into his mouth and swallows them down with a sip of water. He’s queasy, but it’s not too bad. He goes to set the cup back down on the coffee table, but his mentor shakes his head.

“Drink the whole thing,” Tony instructs.

Peter obeys. It takes him a couple of minutes, but he manages to get the entire cup down and feels just the smallest bit better for it.

Tony takes the empty glass from his hand and sets it on the table. “Think you can sleep now?”

Peter just shrugs. He wants to—god, he wants to—but he doesn’t deserve it. Not when this is all his own damn fault. His voice is barely a whisper when he speaks again:

“I think I really messed up, Mr. Stark.”

X

Over the next ten minutes, it all comes tumbling out: the job at Delmar’s, the decathlon requirements, the late patrols, his slipping grades, his scholarship, everything.

“I just… I don’t want to change schools,” Peter concludes softly. “I like Midtown. It was the first place I really felt like… well, like I fit in.”

Tony’s been quiet for the whole time Peter was speaking, but now his brow furrows. “Why would you need to quit Midtown?”

Peter blinks at him; isn’t it obvious? “Because the full tuition is eight thousand dollars a semester. Without the scholarship…” he trails off. “I just can’t do that to May.”

A look of relief spreads across Tony’s face. “Is that all? That’s the whole issue?” He huffs out an amused breath. “Done. Consider it paid. Problem solved.”

Peter feels his cheeks flush. He shakes his head frantically. “No, no, I didn’t mean that you should pay! Please don’t do that!”

Now it’s Tony’s turn to blink at him. “Peter. I am a multi-billionaire. Do you have any idea what eight thousand dollars is to me?”

“But you shouldn’t have t—”

“Peanuts,” Tony cuts him off. “I’ve spent more on peanuts than that.”

“But—”

“And by that I mean actual, honest-to-god peanuts,” Tony continues over the kid’s protests. “There’s this company in Peru that slow-roasts them for twenty-one days in a secret spice blend. Happy’s obsessed with ‘em—says they’re god’s gift to mankind. So, for Christmas one year—”

“You can’t pay my tuition!” Peter blurts out.

Tony stops his story abruptly. His eyes narrow at Peter. “And why exactly is that?”

“Because…” Running a hand through his hair, Peter draws in a shuddery breath. “Because… If anyone should pay, it’s me. I-I’m the one who fucked up and lost the stupid scholarship. I should be the one responsible for fixing this.”

“But you can’t fix it,” Tony says bluntly.

Peter’s caught off-guard. “Wh-What? N-No, I just need to get my grades up, and, and…”

Tony’s voice is gentler now. “You can’t, Peter. You can’t get a 2.9 up to a 3.3 by next week, no matter how well you do on your exams. You’ve gotta know that.”

(Peter does know. He’s known for days. He’s always been good at math, after all.)

“So you can’t keep going on like this, trying to make up for what happened,” Tony concludes.

Tears prick at the corners of Peter’s eyes once more. He’s determined not to let them fall this time. “But I deserve it…” he whispers.

Tony shrugs. “If we always got what we deserved, I never would have made it through the 90s.” He huffs out a short laugh. “At least nobody has to bail you out of prison. Same can’t be said for all of us.”

In spite of Peter’s earlier resolve, the traitorous tears slip out anyway. He wonders how he has any left.

Tony sobers a bit. “You’re a good kid, Pete,” he says quietly. “But you’re trying to carry the whole world on your shoulders and that’s enough to break anyone. It’s okay to ask for help sometimes. Even if you fucked up.”

Peter swallows hard. “Okay.”

“So let’s try this again,” Tony says. He makes eye contact with Peter. “What do you need, kid?”

“Right now?” Peter exhales deeply. “I dunno. A nap?”

Tony smirks slightly. “I think we can manage that.”

X

Peter makes it through finals.

All his extra effort and studying does yield some results. His gym grade increases to a B after Coach Wilson grades his two-page extra credit report on the rules of badminton. The trig final is rough, but he pulls in another couple points there, and the art teacher accepts a few late sketches from the unit on perspectivism. With the help of the final exam, he even manages to eek out a C- in Spanish.

When it’s all said and done, Peter’s GPA sits at 3.1.

“That wasn’t easy to do. I’m proud of you, Peter,” May says sincerely. “You know that, right?”

Peter shrugs. “I guess so.”

They’re sitting together at the apartment’s small kitchen table, May’s open laptop in front of them with all of Peter’s end of semester grades displayed. Peter’s eyes drift down from the screen to the table where a check for eight thousand dollars signed by Tony Stark himself is staring back at him. He sighs.

May plants a quick kiss on the top of her nephew’s head. “Well, I know so. So for now, I’ll just know it for the both of us.”

Peter strokes his fingers over the crisp paper of the check. Besides covering tuition, Tony has now upgraded Peter’s unofficial SI internship to a paid position—something he says he should have done long ago, given how much time Peter spends working in the lab—and that will allow him to give Mr. Delmar his two-week notice.

He knows he should be grateful, but honestly, it’s going to take him some time to wrap his head around the concept of being taken care of like this.

Getting up from the table, May moves over to retrieve a small paper bag from the counter. “That reminds me—Mr. Stark told me to give you this.” She tosses the bag to Peter, who catches it easily.

Curiously, he opens it. He’s immediately hit with the aroma of exotic spices and roasted legumes. Peter can’t help but grin.

A note inside the bag reads: Enjoy your peanuts, kid.

A/N: If you enjoyed this story, you might also like: 

Viral Wisdom

Go Down Swinging

A Pressing Emergency

Fic Masterlist

[daydreamindollie]

bts ot7 | Home

Fragments Series: Just another incomplete written piece/plan/idea - not edited, not proofread, just raw writing w/ my notes

A/N: I wrote a bit of this while I was on holiday two years ago, I think. I really wanted to write my own hybrid au for BTS after being inspired by so many other writers out there, mainly @hollyhomburg , @magicalsalamander , @chimkookie , @daydream-hobii and SOOOO MUCH MOOORREEE! There are just so many talented people out there! Anyway, as this was written two years ago and I hadn’t looked at it since, please excuse any grammatical errors or just any errors really; back then, I tried to write better than I actually could so I’m sure many of the sentences are long-winded. But...yeah! The inspiration was there but without a proper plan, my vision wasn’t steady enough to maintain and just collapsed so...*sigh* another one for the fragments series, I guess...

WARNING: these may contain some of my notes, they will be indented and in italics so you can distinguish them from the writing. 

Also, this may contain some prejudicial views and minor conflicts, nothing major but just so you are all aware x

✚          ✚          ✚

Never Before had you felt so excited to reach your journey’s destination. Seeing as you live almost a full hour away from the city, these time-consuming journies were a normality in your life but they were bearable because you always distracted yourself with music, something to read and would even just watch the scenery run by the car window. All previous times were bearable because distractions always held your attention with a vice grip and iron fist, not on this particular day, however. 

Today, you would get your first ever hybrid. 

You had begged your parents multiple times promising that you’d be responsible for them and that you would take care of them and love them with all your heart. Eventually, they grew convinced and launched at your rambling plea for one such companion. 

“You can go get one tomorrow - heck get multiple! I know how lonely it gets here and we don’t want our hybrid to grow bored of you being its only other companion,” your father joked as you squealed with happiness and jumped into his arms, too happy over the long-awaited agreement.

Your parents could never say no to you for long, these were one of the times where they had tried to put their foot down, knowing the true requirements needed to own a hybrid. Deep down, however, they’d always given in because they loved spoiling their only, oh-so-precious daughter. If you asked for the world, there isn’t a doubt in their mind that they’d still say yes, after all, they have an immeasurable amount of money to spare and with such an amount they already had the world in their palms anyway. 

Months of convincing and pleading has brought you to this moment of ultimate concentration and anticipation for one thing - a person’s incomparable and irreplaceable companion - a hybrid. 

Even before your father’s agreement, you had long debated over the type of hybrid you’d prefer to have above all else. //You didn’t want the typical cat and dog, although that would be a rather tame decision, seeing as this would be your first ever hybrid and more information was available for them. //Maybe a bunny, the hybrid’s counterparts were always very endearing with their large doe eyes and extremely petite physique but hybrid-wise, that meant that they looked a lot like children and - you assume - would behave a lot like them too. Taking care of a child, although you’re very fond of them, isn’t something you wanna sign yourself up for just yet. In your head, you imagine a scenario where you’re able to chat and do fun activities with your hybrid like making up silly dances ti your favourite songs. There’s not a chance on this earth that you can do that with an exotic fish hybrid, they usually had fishtails instead of legs and looked very mermaid-like, meaning that only the richest had them, their mesmerising beauty was always a sight to behold and treasure although, however beautiful they may be, you’d rather be able to interact physically with your hybrid and not just stare at it. A peacock? you heard how high maintenance they were (alongside foxes) due to their animalistic traits coming ever so naturally to them/their counterparts not being usual house pets and therefore requiring more attention than usual. 

All this debating leaves you to wonder over what particular hybrid you’ll end yo choosing and befriending; there’s so much to choose from with pros and cons to each. The idea of even getting one is surreal, there are butterflies exploding with a vivacious flurry within the depths of your stomach constantly, surprisingly able to lift the weight of your precious meal on their frail wings and leaving you toeing the edge of either anxiety or excitement. The feeling, no matter how confusing its effects may be, is something you welcome with open arms, the way a lover would embrace the flaws that were responsible for their partner’s perfection. 

Throughout the lengthy travel, your nerves were itchy with impatience, which made your contemplation of the journey being shorter than expected after finally arriving, all the more peculiar. Your mind certainly has a distinct thought process in comparison to actual logic. Despite all that, it seems as though all of your previous excitement has been completely overtaken by an overwhelming sense of nervousness when facing the hybrid adoption centre. 

It was a powerful-looking edifice, tall and broad, harbouring an abundance of rooms with a similar amount of occupants. Amoung those many rooms, lies your future companion and longtime friend. It’s a heart-thumping prospect, so why were you so antsy? 

“Will they like me?” you hum thoughtfully to yourself, voice shaky and uneven with stress. This was your oppressing problem. You’re certain that you’ll find someone you’ll like but will they like you back? And even if they don’t, will you bring them home with you anyway? Just to know them better and have them eventually take a liking to you, perhaps? But what if they never grow fond of you? You can’t just ‘return‘ them, that’s absurd and so inhumane, it’s degrading; they can feel emotions more prominently than normal animals because they’re part human and vice versa. Your morals scream that you just can’t do that to a person. 

Your stuttering thoughts should have deemed your form motionless but your body moved on its own as if one autopilot from your subconscious. You’re lead through the main doors, across the foyer and right to the front desk, where the lady behind the computer asked however she could help you. 

“Um, I’m looking to adopt today,” you stated surprised at how reasonably steady your voice sounded. 

“Do you have an appointment ma’am?”

“Sorry, no,” you pull a face of guilt, mentally shaming yourself for being unprepared. 

“That’s alright! Do you have a particular type of hybrid in mind?”

“You shook your head ‘no’, “I’ve debated but I’m still very indecisive,” chuckling, the lady smiles up at you. 

“Don’t worry miss, that’s usually the case. Is this your first adoption?” her hazel eyes blink curiously at you.

“Is it that obvious?” you muse nervously as you fiddle and fidget with your fingers.

“Don’t worry it’s only because I work here that it is,” she assures before typing away momentarily, only beginning to reach over to the phone beside her to look up at you again, “please take a seat while I get someone to help show you around,“

Nodding with a sheepish smile, you gingerly take a seat, smoothing down the lap of your pleated skirt before taking the time to observe the facility. On the far left, there was a large door labelled with a metal plate ‘NURSERY’, where you imagine the newly borns are kept and goo at the idea. To the right, there seems to be a very spacious room filled with many pastime activities such as sports balls (footballs and basketballs), skipping ropes, books, a TV and probably more things as your view was rather restricted even though the doors were glass. Behind and to the right of the front desk, is another door that states ‘ROOMS’, which is pretty self-explanatory to you but also sets your nerves ablaze with spine-tingling anticipation with what’s to come. 

Inhaling a deep breath, you attempt to calm and tame your nerves as you pivot from where you’re seated, wanting to explore more of the place without having to walk around. You weren’t really expecting anything more but right behind you stood a tall black door. It seemed to hold secrets that begged you to unveil them. 

The amount of time you spent staring at the barrier that held back any number of malicious or wonderful secrets was unknown but your gaze was foxed for long enough that your feet began to move on their own again. Soon enough, you were making your way down a dimly lit staircase to find a room occupied by several - more specifically seven - hybrids. There was: a cat, two dogs, a peacock, a fox, a fish and a bunny-rabbit?

You tilt your head and shyly wave your hand, your head slightly bowed in timidity, showcasing your bashful demeanour whilst also allowing your eyes to stare at them in wondrous fascination. This was your first time ever seeing a hybrid in person and there were seven right in front of you. //“Hello,” you whisper, meeting the gaze of the only cat who hisses in warning at you, causing you to jump in place, your heart ready to fly out of your chest. You felt the nerves in your body preparing to run if need be but they instantly calmed at the sight of the bunny. As opposed to the pierce almond-eyed cat, the bunny appeared to reflect your anxiety, it was an endearing sight, but he was also beautiful, as a matter of fact, all of the hybrids present were ethereal in beauty. 

The peacock in your peripheral view was especially so, you felt as though he could resemble a prince from a fairytale, even so, the bunny had your full attention. He was nothing like a child as most should look like, he possessed the build of a male with thick thigh muscles, which was probably due to his bunny genes but it was still unusual (in a good way) to see a different beauty representing bunny hybrids. 

“What’s your name?” you ask after reaching the cage bars, eyes caring and warm and unable to hold back your elation. He gave no answer, only a frightened stare, making you furrow your brows. “What’s the matter? Don’t you have one?” you gently press for a response, eyes pleading for him to speak. 

“I’ve...I’ve never been adopted before...” he finally speaks, his voice like a finely tuned harp, having all things that leave his lips be melodious and musical. 

Your eyes widen in surprise, “but you're so beautiful...” you whisper to yourself, smiling fondly when you see a faint blush dusting his cheeks, “maybe you can finally have one if you agree to come home with me,” the instant those words left your lips, the other hybrids, who were looking on at your interaction cautiously, panicked. The peacock and dog shielded the bunny with their bodies as the other pup and the fox embraced him, leaving you to jump at the cat’s loud hissing as the fish banged a tight fist at his tank’s wall. //’Why were they being so protective?’ you ponder, not realising that the cat was reaching for you, past the bars of the cage, with his sharp nails drawn and bare, ready to strike. Just as he was about to claw at your face, a hand grabbed your upper arm and pulled you back. 

“Miss, you shouldn’t be down here!” a man with woodchip hair warns, drawing a taser from his back pocket and going for the cat, which you screamed at. 

“What are you doing?!” you snatch his arm back, expression scrunched up in worry and anger. 

“This lowlife was going to attack you, ma’am,” he reasons, brows knitted together with confusion. 

“Lowlife?...”

“yes ma’am - was going to attack you, a human,”

“I don’t care about that, I must’ve done something wrong in his eyes. I’m sure it was pure instinct for him to lash out,”

“But-”

“if you’re so concerned about them behaving ‘improperly‘, why don’t you teach them by being civil yourself and lead by example,” you huff, “people behave by copying others’ actions, don’t ya know?” you can’t believe how angry you’ve become since you only ever use shortened expressions when your temper was truly pronounced. 

“Ma'am, you really shouldn’t be here,” he warns, finally tucking away his taser, consequently calming your nerves, something all hybrids picked up on and raised a curious brow at after calming down themselves. 

“I know I’m not, I’m sorry for wandering off without fair warning or reason,” you try to be civil but your curiosity is peaked, “but can I ask ‘why‘ I’m not allowed here?” 

“Simply put, it’s too dangerous down here ma’am...” you note how his voice wavers and his eyes are restlessly examining the room, not keeping eye contact with you for too long.

“Dangerous?...” you turn to the hybrids with worried eyes, an expression they were unfamiliar with and don’t quite know how to interpret, “why are these hybrids here then?“

“Ma’am,” the worker hesitates, “these hybrids are the reason why it’s so dangerous,”

“I...I don’t understand...” you mutter, unable to comprehend how people with such sad, gentle eyes could harbour such a threat. The employee with the taser is more threatening to you. 

“We should really get you upstairs now ma’am. I can show you to the hybrids that you will definitely favour,” he puts on a weak smile as he attempts to lead you up the stairs behind you, only to falter in his steps when you abruptly pull away and step towards the cages once more, dismissing the worried gaze the male flashes you. 

“I’ve already made my decision though, so I won’t need to go upstairs,” all eyes in the room visibly widen at your proclamation as you smile in innocent excitement. 

“Who?!”

“The bunny please, if he’”s alright to go with me, that is,” you give the bunny a timid smile, staring into his large doe eyes as you try to tame the butterflies in your stomach. 

“I’m afraid that’s impossible ma’am,”

You pout, “and why’s that?” your tone is stern but also childish in some way, much like how a child would deliver demands during a strop. 

“Well, it’s impossible because if you want one, then you’ll need to adopt all of them.” now, it’s time for your eyes to widen.

“How come?”

“They’ve formed a very peculiar group-pack-alliance,” he sighs as you take a moment to look at the seven hybrids together, it was definitely a strange but lovely picture, “they always cause trouble by lashing out at whoever draws near, especially the cat. Many workers have quit from needing to go have some treatment done on scratches from him. This is why it’“s so dangerous here, they may look harmless but they can really hurt you, and it’s extremely expensive to adopt all seven. I, along with the rest of my coworkers, strongly advise that you don’t even think of adopting any from this group.”

You ponder for a moment, contemplating all your options as you stare at all seven hybrids collectively, “There’s no other way for me to bring the bunny home?”

“I’m sorry but no,” he says sternly, “please, just let me take you upstairs ma’am,”

“Is it possible for me to come here at a regular basis?” you turn back to him, having completely ignored his advice, “So that I can befriend them all before taking them home with me?” 

The worker’s jaw drops, “you actually want to adopt all of them?”

Facing all hybrids, you smile, eyes sparkling, “why not?”

[MAYBE END OF CHPT.ONE?????START CHPT.TWO???⇣]

Yet again, you find yourself taking another long journey to the hybrid adoption centre, giddy with butterflies after a long week of waiting. It would have been easy for you to take the journey every day but you knew how high gas prices were and didn’t want to trouble your parents in spite of knowing their wealth. You were also adamant in being eco-friendly. 

In your hands, you fiddly with the wrap of a large bento box, there were six others surrounding you filled with homecooked meals that you’ve put your heart and soul into. Hopefully, they’ll like what you’ve cooked; you did your best to research what particular hybrids liked. Bunnies loved carrot cake, cats like friend fish, dogs loved meat, foxes too, fish liked anything with bread and peacocks were very fancy with exotic fruits and such. It was a lot of fun to make but you also wanted to introduce them to other foods too. Most of the dishes were advised from the website most prominent in providing hybrid care information but you also included your favourite dishes, hoping to bond with them over something you liked similarly. 

“Good morning!” you greet the secretary, flashing a peppy smile which she returns hesitantly, eyes hovering over the bentos that were piled high in your arms, “I hope this is okay,“ you lift the lunches before quickly making your way down to the basement, too blinded by the excitement of finally making your own friends to notice that the secretary had just begun to protest, only to face the slam of a door. 

“I’m back!” you announce, giggling as you finally make it down the last step, “And I’ve brought lunches!“ again, you lift the bentos with a huff from their weight before setting them down. Facing up, you quickly note the surprised look all hybrids harboured just as you were about to ask what was wrong, your bunny spoke up. 

“You came back...” his eyes were wide and his form rigged, completely unbelieving of the fact that you had returned. 

“Of course I came back. I said that I would sooooo...here I am!” you gesture to yourself with a glint of mischief in your eyes, “Anyway, are you guys hungry? I made lunch,”

“We’re not hungry,” the cat snapped stubbornly from the back of the room, black ears and tail flicking in annoyance. 

[MAYBE REAL END OF CHAPTER ONE????]

please remember that this is, unfortunately, not going to be continued as it is a part of my ‘Fragments’ Series, where I just post works that I have discontinued, maybe still in its drafting/notes-infused stage. I know it might seem like a pointless series but I’m proud of all my works and love to share more than I should. 

[confrontingbabble-on]

Well, the Pope got that one biblically correct*!   Now he just needs to put all his religion’s money...where his mouth is...!

Also, and even more importantly...Thou shalt not indoctrinate children...with religious make believe...!!

Meanwhile, throughout religion...

“Even so, demand ever more money from followers...to spend on self-aggrandizement, jets and mansions, expensive cars and clothes...then boast that god gave it all to you...and blame those that have not...because you stole what little they had, using empty and false promises...so that others may see your hypocrisy and greed, and come to disregard your Father-who-is-in-heaven beliefs...” Megachurch/Televangelist 24:7

“Even so, bribe politicians, and hijack political parties, and disregard your political oath of office...so that everyone will see your grasp for power...and your dishonesty and lack of morality...and your desire to force your unverifiable religious beliefs down everyone’s throats...and rise up to oppose your evil ways, and your Father-who-is-in-heaven beliefs...” Christian Right 24:7 

“Even so, tell everyone that only those that belong to your religious group...and believe whatever unsubstantiated rubbish you believe...is going to unverifiable heaven...so that everyone may see your hypocrisy and insanity...and disregard for others...and mock you and your Father-who-is-in-heaven beliefs...” Sectarian Religious Cultist 24:7 

“Even so, force your unverifiable religious beliefs down everyone’s throats...especially children...and claim that religious fantasy fables “are true!!”...then scream and cry and pout and throw a tantrum when others disagree with you...so that the nonreligious may expose your verifiable ignorance of reality and insanity...and disparage your Father-who-is-in-heaven beliefs...” Religious Fundamentalist 24:7

“Even so, proclaim you have much faith in your unverifiable god...and say you follow your fabricated bible...while doing the opposite of what it says...lusting after earthly power, status and money...seeking to forcefully dominate others...especially those who are weaker, and minorities...as you disregard their free will...and remove their abilities to exercise free choice...so that everyone may see your hypocrisy and insanity...and abuse of others...and completely discredit you and your Father-who-is-in-heaven beliefs...” Religious Hypocrisy 24:7

Read...https://disrn.com/news/pope-says-christians-should-never-try-to-convert-unbelievers-anyone-who-proselytizes-is-not-a-disciple-of-jesus

“Even so, let your light shine before people; that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven...”  Jesus, bible god, Matt 5:16

“‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’ ...“They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’  “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’...“Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life...” Jesus, bible god, Matt 25:41-46

“Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of My Father in heaven. Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you workers of lawlessness!’ ...” Jesus, bible god, Matt 7:21-23