Text
Ok, so I decided to finally catch up with the His Dark Materials series and I'm near the end of s2 and some stuff is just kinda icky...or maybe that's just me.
It's been ages since I read the books and I don't remember how it was there but: were the books making as big a deal of the difference between children and adults in regard to "sin"? Like the show makes it out like in Lyra's world as soon as a child hits puberty the adults just go "you're a sinner now". Also how /do/ they actually differentiate between child and adult? Puberty's a whole process, takes years. Hell, your brain isn't out of puberty until you're like in your 20s.
Also all the misogyny in Lyra's world is just pissing me off but I hope that's intentional xD
(Edit: Oh but I do love Ruth Wilson, she's fab)
#his dark materials#another also: what happens to people who's daemons settle as fish?#do they need to carry around tiny aquariums?#what if it settles as a big ass whale?#xD#there is also an appalling lack of people with farm animal daemons#like does no one ever get cow or pig or chicken daemons?#what about a Llama?#Also imagine you get a giraffe daemon xD#ok I'll stop now
19 notes
·
View notes
Note
Shark
- 🦈
(Brainrot time! Blame dougielovelove for their new work. Had a bit of a bad day and i usually dont write spicy things
This one can be set in monster au. Readers a captain of a whole different task force meant for oceanic endevours. Im talkin the readers a shark hybird (biased) their lieutenant a whale hybird, sergent an orca or a pufferfish, their newest recurits a fuckin salmon, the works.
They're close knit, heck even poly if you want. Price and the Reader meet through connections with Laswell. They find out they hav the same target, price is stubborn and wont drop the mission, despite how most of his team is not suited for water.
Reader respects it and they work really well together. A bit too well, even to the point theyre considering merging the teams.
Completely honest, Price is starting to fall for their fellow captain. I mean how can you not, they've swooped in and saved them countless times, preventing the oceans waters from completely swallowing them in the dark abyss.
Not to mention his sergents and lieutenant are just the cutest, so eager to do well and work together with his own. Just protective instincts, hit him to the point hes pickin everyone up and scentin them. They're his hoard now.
Reader and Price are settleing paper work in his office. Readers busy writing down important information and signing off reports, but price cant help but stare. How swift his hands move as each words is made and written, how tight his claws grip the pen with every small minisucle flick of the pen.
He hiccups a small flame when their fellow captain decided to extravagantly spin his pen when he trys to recall the missing info. How smooth it moves between his blackened fingers, swirling and turning flipping all between nimble and flexible rough- and hes hard.
Reader realizes Price is distracted, before he can call out their name, he glances down just to see whats got him so wrapped up in his mind.
Now all i can think about is Reader forcing Price to focus and finish his paperwork while hes got both his assets shoved up his ass. Price is just a mess, making his paperwork a completely unusable. Yet, the reader still wants him to finish, becuase if he dosent Price definitely wont.
Or they decide to have some fun, release the pent up desire the poor dragons been keeping buried. A soilder be it 141 or be from the readers own team, walks in. Can't help but love how the stoic draconic captain looks so small and pathetic under his co-leader. Joining in on the fun just to see how wrecked this great leader can get.)
Okay, this is cool and my horny is up but I made a few changes as I like characters to be more mythological and just animal hybrids, though those are cool too
CW:NSFW, quick and rough, subbot Price, Gaz, Oc sergeant, domtop reader
Price loves you. But you are one cruel bastard.
Those big rough hands of yours trace his taught belly, webbed fingers making a shiver crawl up his spine and stealing what little thoughts are left in his head as one of your hands trails down the smooth scales of his tail. "Come on dear captain, just a few more pages to go." You purr, chest rumbling against his back like the thrum of an engine, your lips tickling his pointy earlobe.
Price swears he's going to die; pants around his ankles and legs spread, stretched so wide on both of your shafts he can feel your heartbeat by the way your cocks twitch against his walls, each labored breath making his hole clench down desperately, his own hard cocks left hard and unattended.
It would be one thing if you claimed him like he wants you to, pushed him flat on the desk and fucked into him like he's nothing but a bitch to pump full of your cum.
But you don't. You just sitting inside him, hard and throbbing and still despite how much he tries to tempt you by clenching down. Price finds himself cursing the amount of patience you have.
"Sweetheart," He groans, voice too light and whiny for his own ears, head thrown back to give you a heatless glare. "C'mon, don't tease me." Price tries to grind his hips down but you hold him firm.
"Not until you finish those reports." You grunt, authoritative, and Price is stuck between wanting to bite you in revenge and trying to stifle a pathetic whine. "Go on, you only have a few pages left."
Those damn reports. Price can barely read his own handwriting, a light tremor in his fingers from the way your cocks press against his prostate. "Cruel bastard." He growls, sucking in a breath and clenching around you.
His chest flares with pride the second your claws dig into his body, not even your mind able to hold back the animalistic need to buck into the tight willing heat surrounding you. But it's a double edged sword — a hiccup of flame sparks from his mouth, your cockheads bumping his prostate and making a bead of precum spurt from his cocks.
"As if you're any better." You growl in his ear, your hair tickling his skin as you roughly nip at his though hide, pleasure and pain loosing their borders in his mind.
He doesn't notice the nicking on the door, but Price is ready for hell to swallow up when he finally registers the door open, his blue eyes rising to meet Sullivan — your hippocampus sergeant — who looks just as mortified to walk in on you like that as Price.
Sullivan's dark horse ears flicker back, the iridescent scales along his cheeks turning from ocean green to a vibrant embarrassed pink, "I- is this, this a- I can leave if, if, if- this looks like a-" The poor man stumbles over his words, eyes bouncing between Price's debauched form and your amused face.
It gets worse when Gaz pokes his head in behind Sullivan, "Hey captains are you-" His jaw falls, pupils dilating like he's a crow that just saw a shinny penny. "-oh."
You just chuckle, rough voice putting Sullivan at ease. "At ease boys," You snort, don't even attempt to hide anything, one hand sliding down to stroke his cock, so slick with his precum that his shaft slides through your hand just from you squeezing it. "Need something boys?"
Even from here Price can see the way Sullivan's eyes darken as well at the deep moan that tumbles out of Price's throat and Price has to bite his lip to keep the noises in check.
"I-" Sullivan sucks in a breath, scales slowly turning to the shade of an overcooked lobster. "I. . . I forgot."
"Can we join?" Gaz asks, chuckling at Sullivan's wide-eyed look. "What? As you weren't thinking it." He shrugs and places a kiss on his cheek when Sully nods meekly.
"I don't know." You hum, letting go of Price's cock to tilt his head to you, meeting his eyes. "Do you want your boys to help you keep focused?"
Price swallows, knows that all that awaits him should he accept would be pleasurable torture, but his bones burn with the need to have his hoard close to him, taking care of him for a change. "Yeah," He growls, less whiny and more demanding.
You hum and roll the chair back to create space for the two men beneath the table, "On your knees." You don't miss the way the authority in your voice makes both men shiver.
"You heard him," Gaz grins and pulls Sullivan towards you two by the hand, reminding you more of a puppy than any harpy as he happily gets on his knees.
Your gaze skirts to Sullivan as he tentatively settles on Gaz's right, pitch black eyes hidden behind that fringe you keep telling him to cut. "You alright with this Sully?" You ask, knowing the man's sexual experience is limited to one girlfriend and your team, and even then he's shy about many acts. "You don't need to do something you're unsure about. No one is going to be mad."
"I, yes. I want this." He swallows, looking back at you. "I, uh. . . I got some pointers." He says shily.
Gaz just snickers and throws his arm over Sullivan's shoulder. "I helped," He says proudly, wing spreading out to wrap around Sully's back.
"Rubbing off on my sergeant already huh?" You snort, your attention turning to Price when he growls, capturing his lips in a kiss to placate his demanding draconic side while your hand lets go of his cocks — an open offering to the two sergeants.
"Only in a good way." Gaz grins and leans in, opening his mouth and pink little tongue lolling out to lick at one leaking cock like he knows Price likes, lips wrapping around the tapered head and sucking on it, amusement bubbling in his chest when you hold Price's hips firm so he can't buck up.
Sullivan follows suit, less confident but still willing, holding the other cock in his smooth scalled hand and tentatively giving the crown a kiss, dark eyes watching both of your reactions as he slowly trails kisses around the cumhole, growing bolder with every small whimper until he's gently suckling on the tip like Gaz had done.
"You're doing good Sully," You praise, even your voice is hoarse from the way Price squeezes down on you now that the two sergeants are servicing his cocks. "You too Gaz." You reach down to gently pet his hair so Kyle doesn't feel left out, "Both of you, so good for me and Price."
Price, for his sake, may as well be a mindless animal from the way his brain is steadily melting out of his cocks like a lit candle, moaning low in his throat, his eyes closed to just feel the pleasure that's assaulting him on both ends. He can tell the difference between Gaz's and Sullivan's mouths, the duality of firm swipes of the tongue across his shaft and the kitten licks on his most sensitive parts making his head swim, hips trying uselessly to fuck into the hot mouths and your own cocks.
He whines when you grip his hips firmly. "No," You snort, both arms keeping his hips still so he can do nothing but endure. "You're not getting off until the job's finished."
Price shivers, "Bastard." He growls weakly, his eyesight blurry as he tries to focus on the document.
"Pot, kettle." You grin against his skin, helping guide his arm towards the documents where he left off. "C'mon, it's just a few pages, then your sergeants will be able to reward you fully."
#gnome correspondence#cod mw2#x reader#male reader#top male reader#captain john price#kyle gaz garrick#oc#captain john price x male reader#captain john price x reader#captain john price x oc#kyle gaz garrick x male reader#kyle gaz garrick x reader#cod mwii#cod modern warfare#cod smut#monster 141 au#monster cod au#monster 141
633 notes
·
View notes
Text
‘God, I can’t wait for you to explode’
‘Just imagine this helpless piggy too big to walk’
‘No doubt she’ll be immobile soon…’
The addicting tight rush of fullness settles in my bloated gut. My third straight pitcher of weight gain shake collapses to the floor, and I struggle to shake the numbness out of my toes. If I could see them I’d know they were swollen and startlingly red, but I can’t see shit past my massive tits, hanging low to the center of my belly. I sink back into the couch and rub myself off, sausage fingers snaking into my underwear. My chins serve as a resting place for my exhausted head.
I’ve always been something of an extremist. There was a time where I would count the calories on a baggy of baby carrots. I was a whore in every sense of the word, skinny as a pencil and duller than an eraser. I didn’t need anybody, I had the attention of every boy I made eye contact with. Skipped college and became a model, traveled all over the world. If you want, you can get my before and after shots. 45 bucks a piece, 112 vrs. 675.
Nobody pays attention to you when you’re fat.
I kicked the ball down the hill when my agency fired me, parents claiming I was giving their kids bulimia or some bullshit. The ball began to collect years of sugar, fat, salt and grease, hardly able to get out of bed without a mouthful of fresh endorphins. My veins swelled with lard, stomach overstretched and doubled over onto my fat padded knees.
It was all very discouraging at first. I heard the gossip as I toddled along to my convenience store for my nightly dinner of mars bars and oven fries, about how tiny I used to be, if I was really the same girl. ‘Nobody wants to rub out a fat girl’.
I drank a lot. Partied a lot. Had a lot of shitty, desperate sex that ended after 4 minutes with a sigh and a cigarette. Then I met this guy. He grabbed my belly and afterwards told me I could make a killing if I kept gaining weight. I told him to fuck off but I looked into it. Feedism is a deep, dark, somewhat fucked up world. But money is green, so I did some analysis. What did they like about these women, big asses, big tits, double chins? These women are making thousands of dollars just to eat.
I piled on fat like batter in a cake tin. I’m round up top, double belly and huge boobs. Thickness in my face that I don’t love, but my ass is rounder than the moon.
“Ohhhh…fuck *HIC*...fuck me. I might’ve had too much, guys.” I whine to the camera. I rub and shake my belly.
“BURRPPP!”
I like to read the comments while I masturbate. I scroll, an endless stream of aroused fans.
‘700 bucks if you do a fourth!!111’
‘7 HUNDO!!!!!’
Over and over again this bitch. I roll my eyes. “500 dollars for another one Mr…Pigfarmer?”
‘YES!!!’
He donates. And I fix the shake on my coffee table, bringing it to my lips. I wince. I really do not wanna throw up.
“Gonna do this for you, Pigfarmer. Whoooo boy..”
I down the shake in maybe 2 minutes and let the empty pitcher land on the floor with the others. “So *huff* fucking…fat. Can barely get… off the couch anymore..ughhhh…”
‘I will feed you until your fucking feet fall off’
‘I can help you off the couch!!!’
‘I’ll feed you and fuck you until you can’t move baby’
This isn’t enough. I need to be fat enough to where anything is monetizable. Walking out to the car. Going up stairs. I’ve made a few sets of my rolling out bed, when my joints are aching and my waddle is exaggerated the most.
I don’t get much out of this besides the money. If anything, it makes me feel gross. But I blend in effortlessly, I’ve gone so deep. I’m not a feedee. I am a fat fucking whale who happens to be fat because it makes me ridiculous amounts of money. It makes it a lot easier to smile.
“Alright, guys, I’m gonna hop off. See you guys next time!! Love you!”
I click. 1700 dollars from an hour stream. Not too bad. I wipe the sweat off my forehead and drum my belly. I’m numb. I’m covered in grease, shake powder and cum. I can barely make it through my day without that tight fullness now. I wheeze deeply as I contemplate what to eat for dinner.
#death feederism#extreme weight gain#weight gain fiction#female feedee#dark feedism#weight gain#death feedist#weight gain writing#fat piggy#dark feederism#dom feedee#bloated piggy#death feedism fiction#weight gain story#fatty#fatass#fat girls#feed me#feedee belly#belly kink#glorify obesity#double belly#double chin#fat
624 notes
·
View notes
Text
BACK ON IT WIT DA HEADCANONS 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️
Y’all already know what tf is going on. Modern AU, silly headcanons, everyone is alive and well, blah blah blah.
Previous sillies: 1 2 3 4 5
Aight see u unda da cut 😼
-John definitely cried at the dinner table trying to do his math homework with Dutch
Dutch is absolutely like ‘WHY WOULD THEY CHANGE THE WAY THEY DO MATH!!!!!’ While John is like “I😭don’t😭know😭😭”
-John joined the middle school track team but ate shit on the hurdles so he quit
-John was absolutely the kid who always leaned back in his chair
He fell once and hit his head and to this day that teacher uses him as an example
-John was a pain in Arthur’s ass but when Arthur was a senior and John was a freshman Arthur beat up some kids for being mean to his baby brother :((((
-Jack is a Roblox kid for SUREEEE
John used to play it with him but the obbys pissed him off so much he had to take a walk
-Jack was also a Percy Jackson kid. Argue with the wall!!!!
-during Jack’s wannabe emo phase he got a fake earring and it gave him an allergic reaction
He cried :(
John and Abi, being reformed emo kids, held in their laughter until that night after Jack went to sleep
-speaking of emo. John definitely had shaggy long hair that he parted so it was across his forehead, and Abigail had cool bangs with like blue tips or something
She definitely put eyeliner on him at some point
They both had MySpace usernames like Xx._Fallen.Angel._xX
-Abigail has more than one stupid stick and poke tattoo that John gave her when they were like 19
They are CORNY and POORLY DONE but she secretly loves them :’)
-Despite being the younger of the two Dutch is much less tech-literate than Hosea
He understands Facebook. It’s one of like… 3 apps on his phone
His camera roll is filled with accidental photos
-these two have SO MANY DECORATIVE PILLOWS
-Hosea is such a Frank Sinatra lover!!!!!!!
They danced to Strangers in the Night at their wedding :’)
-Hosea was absolutely the parent that’s sitting in the dark when their kid tries to sneak out and they’re like “going somewhere?”
-shoutout to this person because YEAH
-a crazy night in the Morgan-Smith household means staying up until 10:00 PM watching a documentary about whales
-both of these men are the biggest babies when they’re sick. Common cold = death
-if Jack was a Percy Jackson kid then Isaac was probably into Ancient Egypt or dinosaurs
Charles and Arthur are good dads so they listen to him spew facts and they’re like “wow! Cool, buddy!!!!!”
Even now that he’s a teenager they still remember random facts :)
-Arthur LIVES for unbuckling his belt and settling into a recliner after a big meal
-These fools are so in love and constantly bring each other trinkets :’)
“Saw this and thought of you” and it’s like a mystery Lego pack
I think we’ll stop there for tonight but hehehehe I love these soooo much. Does anyone want me to start bringing OTHER characters into this universe😲??? or do we wanna just keep it to the VanDerMatthews/Marston family/Charthur cinematic universe. Y’all know I can get silly and funky with anyone.
ALSO!!!!!! If anyone has an idea for a name of this universe plzzzzz let me know bc I think that would be fun :D okay bye!!!!!!
#as always please ignore my tags it’s humiliating#rdr2 modern au#charthur#vandermatthews#john x abigail#arthur morgan#charles smith#john marston#jack marston#abigail marston#abigail roberts#charthur headcanon#arthur morgan headcanons#john marston headcanons
170 notes
·
View notes
Text
CHAPTER 1 - cr: orphan_account on ao3
Keith woke up thinking he would have a relaxing, perfect day for once. He felt cleansed, Lance being away for a week really calmed things down for Keith. But that had also made it boring.
So, with Lance back from his cousins wedding, Keith would have someone to annoy again. And that would be perfect.
He turned on his phone, turning on his MCR playlist and quickly skimming through the messages from the Voltron group chat. Luckily, he was able to find an important message in the barrage of memes.
BlackSpacePrincess: Hey, can you guys meet me @ my place after school tomorrow??? We need to talk
Allura was the most unproblematic person Keith knew, if she did fuck up, it couldn't have been that bad, right?
He stopped thinking about it and headed to school. And he just couldn't wait to see his rival again. He would never admit it, but Keith had always been just a little bit gay for Lance. Like, have you ever seen that pointy chinned, child??? That's the most attractive little shit that Keith had ever known.
Even though Lance was extremely annoying, he still lowkey loved that asshat.
So, Keith went to school, thinking about his most favorite dumbass.
The day went by faster then normal, most likely from the anticipation of what news Allura had to give out.
And the time came to head over to her house, although it was more like a mansion, everyone headed there.
They met Allura in the living room, where she and Coran sat. She looked up and smile as they entered, her and Coran getting up to allow them to sit down on the couches.
She put her hands together, smiling slightly as she cleared her throat. "Hello everyone. I need your help with something."
"Alright, everyone else can go then, I can help Allura out with my big di-" Shiro punched Lance in the arm, thankfully stopping him from saying what would have proabaly gotten himself killed.
"Anyway…" Allura continued, sending a short glare to Lance, "I may, or may not have entered all of us in a dance competition…" Everyone stared at her for a moment, disbelief settling in.
"What. Did you do Allura?" Pidge questioned, lowering her glasses. "I mean, you're joking, right?"
Allura sighed "Sadly not. The competition is in a week, and I can't go back on my word. I'm sorry."
"I can't dance! I don't have a single flexible bone in my body! I-I'll just look like a beached whale tying to get back to the ocean!" Hunk exclaimed, standing up from the couch. "You can't expect me to do this."
"Jesus Christ…" Keith spoke lowering his head into his hands, generally terrified by the the new information. "I had faith… and this… is what happens"
Lance was the only one who looked generally happy about the news. He gets to twerk and dab in front of at least one hundred people. It was his life dream, his one true goal. It was probably some of the best news he's gotten in his life.
"Come on guys, the sooner we get this done, the sooner the competition will pass and then we can all be done with this." Shiro said rising from the couch, waiting for the rest to soon join him.
They groaned picking up their bags, and followed Allura to the amphitheater so they could practice.
"Alright! We need to learn your dancing abilities. So, show us what you've got." Coran said, clapping his hands together.
Shiro was honestly the only one who didn't look like dying donkey. Hunk had no idea what he was doing, Pidge was trying to do the robot, and Lance was twerking. On Keith.
And Keith kept trying to escape, but there was non.
"I swear to fuck if you don't stop twerking on me, I'll up chuck on you're ugly ass!" Keith screeched, still trying to shove the ass of Lance away from him.
Lance giggled, continuing to grind on his best rival friend. "Hahaha, why don't ya try me bitch!"
Oh, and how Keith would try.
He stripped off his gloves and jacket, causing Lance to be confused. But even through the confusion, Lance kept grinding.
Keith ran over to his backpack, taking out a big ass liter of Coke Cola, and started chugging it.
Why he had a liter of Coke in his backpack, you may ask??? So that way he could throw up on Lance at any given moment.
Everyone stared as at him. When almost half of the soda was gone, Keith moved the bottle away from his mouth, allowing him town to breath, and then continued.
With the bottle almost gone, he stopped drinking, turning his attention to Lance, who was a few yards away.
And Keith started to run towards his significant annoyance.
He felt like his body was doused in gasoline, lit on fire and hit by truck. But none of that would stop him.
Lance, understanding how much danger he was actually in, started running away. But alas, it was too late. Keith tackled him to the ground, and began to throw up.
Keith could hear Lance groan and gag as he tried to not lay in the vomit of Keith.
When Keith had finished, he rolled off of Lance to the right side of him. "So worth it." He mumbled. Keith then proceeded to sit up, and notice the fact that everyone was staring at him in disgust.
"You two boys go and wash up! The rest of us will discuss the competition." Coran said with a weak smile.
When the boys retuned, the rest of voltron was sitting in a circle in the grass.
"Ahh there you are. Let's get you shits updated, shall we?" Allura said cheerfully, the two boys joining in the circle. "There's three different segments to the competition; one is a freestyle group dance, one is a themed group dance, which is hip hop and one is a two person ball room dancing."
Pidge decided to continue where Allura had left off. "You two fucks are gonna dance together."
Keith basically chocked on air, Lance was going into complete denial. He had to do ball room dancing??? With the kid who just threw up on him. No way in a fucking quiznak would he do that.
"What!??!?! Why can't I dance with Hunk?!?!??" He scoffed, looking at his bro "How could you."
Hunk put his hand against his check, his face in shock at the audacity that the beaty eyed child had. "It was a majority dude, I was out numbered."
Lance was about objectify more, but Shiro beat him too it. "Look, I understand you guys might not like it, but it might just make you guys become better friends."
Lance groaned, turning his attention back to Keith.
Keith at the moment was barely breathing. The thought of even being close enough to Lance to smell his axe cologne made him sick, but to be that close, even in a suggestively romantic way, made him want to die.
Maybe it was the fact that he was like, a quarter gay for that dork and getting close would be too much for him to handle. Maybe it was the thought of Keith getting close enough to Lance to feel his breath against his skin. His fingers interlocked with his own. His arms being around Keith's waist.
Maybe it were those simple thoughts that made it hard for Keith to breathe.
He felt his face get heat up, but he turned to meet Lance's gaze, which honestly didn't help at all.
Keith shrugged, rolling his eyes. "Whatever I guess, so long as I never have to be that close to this asshat ever again."
Lance puffed his cheeks, glaring at his new dance partner.
"Alright then, shall we dance?"
-
Categories:
M/MOther
Fandom:
Voltron: Legendary Defender
Relationships:
Keith/Lance (Voltron)Hunk/Shay (Voltron)
Characters:
Keith (Voltron)Hunk (Voltron)Shay (Voltron)Lance (Voltron)Shiro (Voltron)Pidge | Katie HoltAllura (Voltron)Coran (Voltron)
Additional Tags:
trans!shaygenderfluid!Pidgevoltron dance auassumed depressionAbuseChild Abuse
Language:
English
Stats:
Published:2016-08-14Updated:2016-08-24Words:2281Chapters:2/?Kudos:1032Bookmarks:46Hits:15336
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Okay so I recently finished reading Red White and Royal Blue and I am freaking in love with it.
Some of my favourite bits from the book (spoilers):
1. "So is that what’s happening now?” Alex says “Has he decided to finally shut me up by wooing my sister?”
“Aw, little buddy,” Nora says “It’s cute how you think everything is about you.”
“It should be, honestly.”
“That’s the spirit.”
2.Alex still doesn’t really know what kept drawing him back, only that he would sneak into June’s room and find the page and touch his fingertips to the boy’s hair as if he could somehow feel its texture if he imagined it hard enough.
Alex, honey, I don't know how to tell you this but that sounds kinda gay.
3. “Am I offending you? Sorry, I’m not obsessed with you like everyone else. I know that must be confusing for you.”
“Do you know what?” Henry says. “I think you are.”
Alex’s mouth drops open, while the corner of Henry’s turns smug and almost a little mean.
“Only a thought,” Henry says, tone polite. “Have you ever noticed I have never once approached you and have been exhaustively civil every time we’ve spoken? Yet here you are, seeking me out again.” He takes a sip of his champagne.
“Simply an observation.”
“What? I’m not—” Alex stammers. “You’re the—”
“Have a lovely evening, Alex,” Henry says tersely and turns to walk off.
Again Alex read the para before. You are obsessed with him, mijo.
4. He hears Henry mutter slowly, “Oh my fucking Christ.” He registers dimly that it’s the first time he’s ever heard the prince swear before the flash from someone’s camera goes off.
Sweetie, you just caused an international incident. Maybe worry about your crush, sorry arch-nemesis later?
5. “As your mother, I can appreciate that maybe this isn’t your fault, but as the president, all I want is to have the CIA fake your death and ride the dead-kid sympathy into a second term.”
Dear God, this whole family is dramatic 😂
6.“Look,” Zahra says, “Both sides need to come out of this looking good, and the only way to do that is to make it look like your little slap-fight at the wedding was some homoerotic frat bro mishap, okay? So, you can hate the heir to the throne all you want, write mean poems about him in your diary, but the minute you see a camera, you act like the sun shines out of his dick and you make it convincing.”
Zahra is the icon, the moment.
7. Nora says. “Sworn enemies forced to make peace to settle tensions between their countries? There’s something totally Shakespearean about it.``
“Shakespearean in that hopefully I’ll get stabbed to death,” Alex says.
Maybe if you ask Zahra nicely she'll do it for you.
8. Hey, what do you think Zahra put on my fact sheet?”
“Hmm,” Nora says, sucking her teeth. “Favorite summer Olympic sport: rhythmic gymnastics—”
“I’m not ashamed of that.”
“Favorite brand of khakis: Gap.”
“Listen, they look best on my ass. The J. Crew ones wrinkle all weird. And they’re not khakis, they’re chinos. Khakis are for white people.”
“Allergies: dust, Tide laundry detergent, and shutting the fuck up.”
“Age of the first filibuster: nine, at SeaWorld San Antonio, trying to force an orca wrangler into early retirement for, quote, ‘inhumane whale practices.’”
“I stood by it then, and I stand by it now.”
More of June and Nora roasting the shit out of Alex.
9. “I’m going to throw up on you,” Alex says as soon as Henry is close enough to hear him.
“Hello, Alex,” Henry says. “You look …sober.”
“Only for you, Your Royal Highness,” he says
“You’re too kind,” Henry says.
“This is idiotic,” Alex says, grasping Henry’s hand, “Let’s get it over with.”
“I’d rather be waterboarded,” Henry says. His eyes are big and soft and blue, and
he desperately needs to be punched in one of them. (sometimes I want to punch you in your perfect teeth) “Your Country could probably arrange that.”
Alex throws his head back and laughs handsomely, loud and false. “Go fuck yourself.”
“Hardly enough time,” Henry says
10. He finds Luna in his office, horn-rimmed reading glasses doing nothing to detract from his usual appearance of a movie star who tripped and fell sideways into politics. Alex has always suspected the soulful brown eyes and perfectly groomed stubble and dramatic cheekbones won back any votes Luna lost by being both Latino and openly gay.
How this boy ever thought he was anything but bi surmounts me
11. He clutches his chest. “You wound me.”
“You exhaust me.”
“I enchant you.”
“I’ll call security.”
“Fair enough.”
Luna and Alex <3
12. It’s meticulously scheduled by Shaan, with whom Alex is slightly obsessed, especially when
Henry texts him things like, Did I tell you Shaan has a motorbike? or Shaan is on the phone with Portugal.
Zahra would concur with Alex’s obsession with Mr. Shaan Srivastava
13 Alex rolls his eyes and sends back, the harrowing struggle of managing the empire’s blood money.
Henry’s response comes a minute later.
That was actually the crux of the meeting—I’ve tried to refuse my share of the crown’s money. Dad left us each more than enough, and I’d rather cover my expenses with that than the spoils of, you know, centuries of genocide. Philip thinks I’m being ridiculous.
14. Alex: “Put the turkeys in my room.”
Also, Alex: That night, as Alex stares into the cold, pitiless eyes of a prehistoric beast of prey, he has a few regrets.
THEY KNOW, he texts Henry. THEY KNOW I HAVE ROBBED THEM OF FIVE-STAR ACCOMMODATIONS TO SIT IN A CAGE IN MY ROOM, AND THE MINUTE I TURN MY BACK THEY ARE GOING TO FEAST ON MY FLESH.
15 . “Um,” he says. “How do you get a turkey to gobble?”
“Try gobbling,” Henry says, “and see if he gobbles back.”
Alex blinks. “Are you serious?”
“We hunt loads of wild turkeys in the spring,” Henry says sagely. “The trick is to get into the mind of the turkey.”
“How the hell do I do that?”
“So,” Henry instructs. “Do as I say. You have to get quite close to the turkey, like, physically.”
Alex leans toward the wire bars. “Okay.”
“Make eye contact with the turkey. Do you have it?”
Alex follows Henry’s instructions in his ear “Yeah.”
“Right, now hold it,” Henry says. “Connect with the turkey, earn the turkey’s trust ... befriend the turkey...”
“Okay...”
“Buy a summer home in Majorca with the turkey...”
“Oh, I fucking hate you!” Alex shouts as Henry laughs at his own idiotic prank and his indignant flailing startles a loud gobble out of Cornbread, which in turn startles a very unmanly scream out of Alex. “Goddammit! Did you hear that?”
“Sorry, what?” Henry says. “I’ve been stricken deaf.”
16. “I thought you’d kill me in a more personal way. Silk pillow over my face, slow and gentle suffocation. Just you and me. Sensual.”
“Ha. Well.” Henry coughs.
Alex, please. You are killing him!
17. “Oh my God, this is like all those romantic comedies where the girl hires a male escort to pretend to be her wedding date and then falls in love with him for real.”
“That is not at all what this is like.”
18. “Look, you should have invited him yourself!” June says, “It’s really nice you’re making friends who aren’t us. Remember last year when Nora and I were both out of the country for a week, and you almost got a tattoo?”
“I still think we should have let him get a tramp stamp.”
“It wasn’t going to be a tramp stamp,” Alex says hotly. “You were in on this, weren’t you?”
“You know I love chaos,” Nora tells him serenely.
“I have friends who aren’t y’all,” Alex says.
“Who, Alex?” June says. “Literally who?”
Jeez Nora, don’t call him out like that.
19.He has maybe wanted to kiss Henry for a while. As in, probably this whole time.
He ticks off another list in his head. Henry. Shaan. Liam. Han Solo. Rafael Luna and his loose collars.
Finally Alex's brain has decided to join the program.
20. “Do you mind?” Henry has the nerve to say.
“Shut your face,” Alex says
“You’re not going to kill him, are you?” she says.
“Probably not,” Alex tells her.
“What on God’s earth are you doing?” Henry demands.
“Shut up, shut all the way up, oh my God,” Alex hisses.
“Should we—”
“What?”
“I mean, er, should we, I dunno, slow down?” Henry says, cringing so hard at himself that one eye closes. “Go for dinner first, or—”
Alex is actually going to kill him.
“We just had dinner.”
“Right. I meant—I just thought—”
“Stop thinking.”
“Yes. Gladly.”
“I’m going to die,” Henry says helplessly.
“I’m going to kill you,” Alex tells him.
“Yes, you are,” Henry agrees.
21.“I don’t suppose you’ll be anywhere near Kensington anytime soon?”
“That shithole?” he says with a wink. “Not if I can help it.”
“Oi,” Henry says. He’s grinning now. “That’s disrespect of the crown, that is. Insubordination. I’ve thrown men in the dungeons for less.”
Alex turns, walking backward toward the car, hands in the air. “Hey, don’t threaten me with a good time.”
22. “Hey, Henry, say the name of the house you’re staying at again.”
Pez turns the camera to catch Henry in a half smile.
“Llwynywermod.”
“One more time.”
“Llwynywermod.”
Alex groans. “Jesus.”
Alex is whipped.
23. O,fathers of my bloodline! O, ye kings of olde! Take this crown from me, bury me in my ancestral soil. If only you had known the mighty work of thine loins would be undone by a gay heir who likes it when American boys with chin dimples are mean to him.
Alex is not the only one who is dramatic.
24 . He notices David Beckham in a well-tailored suit—once again, how had he convinced himself he was straight?
We have been asking that question all along Alex.
25. He snatches a shirt and boxers at random from the floor, shoves them at Henry’s chest, and points him toward the closet. “Get in there.”
“Quite,” he observes.
“Yes, we can unpack the ironic symbolism later. Go,” Alex says, and Henry does.
26. Ellen: Finally my son is not going to cause any international incidents
Alex: " I kind of … met somebody.”
“It’s, uh,” he interrupts her. “It’s Henry.”
“Henry…?”
“Yeah, Henry.”
“Henry, as in … the prince?”
“Yes.”
“Of England?”
“Yes.”
“So, not another Henry?”
“No, Mom. Prince Henry. Of Wales.”
27. The first slide says: SEXUAL EXPERIMENTATION WITH FOREIGN MONARCHS: A GRAY AREA. Alex wonders if it’s too late to swan dive off the roof.
EXPLORING YOUR SEXUALITY: HEALTHY, BUT DOES IT HAVE TO BE WITH THE PRINCE OF ENGLAND? She apologizes for not having time to come up with better titles. Alex actively wishes for the sweet release of death.
The one after is: FEDERAL FUNDING, TRAVEL EXPENSES, BOOTY CALLS, AND YOU.
28. “Sorry,” Henry says. “I was looking for someone else.Handsome, petulant, short, not pleasant until after ten a.m.? Have you seen him?”
“Fuck off, five-nine is average.”
"You and I both know you’re rounding up.”
29. “What about you?”
“What about me?” Henry says. “Christ, Alex. The whole bloody time.”
“The whole time?”
“Since the Olympics.”
“The Olympics?” Alex yanks Henry’s pillow out from under him. “But that’s, that’s like—”
“Yes, Alex, the day we met, nothing gets past you, does it?” Henry says, reaching to steal the pillow back. “‘What about you,’ he says, as if he doesn’t know—”
“Shut your mouth,” Alex says, grinning like an idiot.
Idiots, both of them.
30. He asked why I was so intent on disrespecting the traditions of the men of this family, and I truly think I dissociated straight (ha) out of the conversation, because I opened my blasted mouth and said, “Because I’m not like the rest of the men of this family, beginning with the fact that I am very deeply gay, Philip.”
Eat shit Philip. Go Henry!
31. “I am your mother. I was your mother before I was ever the president, and I’ll be your mother long after, to the day they put me in the ground and beyond this earth. You are my child."
I fucking love Ellen Claremont, first woman President of the United States of America
32 . “Look, I’m only going to say this once, and if you ever repeat it, I’ll have you kneecapped.�� She drops her hand, fixing him with a glare that manages to be both chilly and fond. “I’m rooting for you, okay?”
“Wait. Zahra. Oh my God. I just realized. You’re … my friend.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Zahra, you’re my mean friend.”
“Am not.”
Aww Zahra, you care for him! Alex I know you are happy about it but maybe don't tick her off when you have royally fucked up?
33."You can take your legacy and your decorum and you can shove it up your fucking arse,Philip. I’m done.”
Philip deserves a punch to his stupid face.
33. “So, uh,” Alex attempts. “Are you two in a fight now?”
Zahra looks at him. “No. Why would you think that?”
“Oh. I just thought because—”
“It’s fine,” Shaan says, still typing on his iPhone. “This is why we set rules about the personal-slash-professional lines at the outset of the relationship. It works for us.”
“If you want a fight, you should have seen it when I found out he had known about you two all along,” Zahra says. “Why do you think I got a rock this big?”
“It usually works for us,” Shaan amends.
“Yep,” Zahra agrees. “Plus, we banged it out last night.” Without looking up, Shaan meets her hand in a high five.
They deserve their own book!
34. “Nobody’s saying you don’t deserve to be happy,” Philip cuts in. “First love makes everyone mad—it’s foolish to throw away your future because of one hormonal decision based on less than a year of your life when you were barely in your twenties.”
Henry looks Philip square in the face and says, “I’ve been gay as a maypole since the day I came out of Mum, Philip.”
Again fuck Philip! And damn H!
35. “Of course they do, Mum. Of course the bloody Tories in Kensington and the Brexit fools don’t want it. That’s not the point. Are you so determined to believe nothing could change?
That nothing should change? We can have a real legacy here, of hope, and love, and change. Not the same tepid shite and drudgery we’ve been selling since World War II—”
“You will not speak to me this way,” Queen Mary says icily,
“No respect. Never an ounce of respect for the sanctity—”
“Or, perhaps I should bring some of my concerns to Parliament?” Catherine says, leaning in to lower her voice right in Queen Mary’s face. “You know, I do think Labour is rather finished with
the old guard. I wonder, if I were to mention those meetings you keep forgetting about, or the names of countries you can’t quite keep straight, if they might decide that forty-seven is perhaps enough years for the people of Britain to expect you to serve?”
The tremor in the queen’s hand has doubled. “You wouldn’t dare.”
“Wouldn’t I, Mum? Would you like to find out? “Look at them, Mum. They’re not props of a legacy. They’re my children. And I swear on my life, and Arthur’s, I will take you off the throne before I will let them feel the things you made me feel.”
Catherine is amazing. The breakdown of the British monarchy in this book is a joy to read.
36. “Ellen,” Nora practically yells. The room goes silent, and Nora freezes, realizing. “Uh. Ma’am. Mom-in-law. Please, just. You need to read this.”
Nora saves the day!
37. “You are,” he says, “the absolute worst idea I’ve ever had.”
38.“Alex,” Henry tells him, “I can’t move to New York.”
Bea looks up. “Why not?”
“Because I’m the prince of—” Henry looks over at her and gestures at the Orangery, at Kensington, sputtering. “Here!”
Wow H, quite the Wordsworth.
39.“So … you’re afraid of wearing anything too flashy for your first post-coming-out trip home, on account of Texans’ delicate hetero sensibilities?”
Why is Nora fictional?
40. History, huh? Bet we could make some.
41. Do you feel forever about him?
42. "That’s the choice. I love him, with all that, because of all that. On purpose. I love him on purpose.”
43.I thought, this is the most incredible thing I have ever seen, and I had better keep it a safe distance away from me. I thought, if someone like that ever loved me, it would set me on fire.
And then, inexplicably, you had the absolute audacity to love me back. Can you believe it?
44. “I want you—”
“Then fucking have me.”
45. If there’s any legacy for me on this bloody earth, I want it to be true.
46. As a kid, he dreamed of love like it was a fairytale, as if it would come sweeping into his life on the back of a dragon one day. When he got older, he learned about love as a strange thing that could fall apart no matter how badly you wanted it, a choice you make anyway. He never imagined it’d turn out he was right both times.
#red white and royal blue#alex claremont diaz#henry fox mountchristen windsor#june claremont diaz#nora holleran#ellen claremont#alex x henry#alexander gabriel claremont diaz#rwrb rp#long post
154 notes
·
View notes
Text
AoT characters staging Romeo&Juliet
basically a school AU where AoT characters (both Paradisians and Marleyans) are staging R&J, who would play whose part and stuff like that
Imma tell right away that I'm not a theatre kid so I've no clue how all of this works exactly so just bear with me if i write something out of the left field
fyi I'm going to list the R&J characters in the same order as in the original
cw: mentions of death Ig
Cast
Prince Escalus - Zeke
the troop just needed someone adult to play this part and decided to go with Eren's big brother
for someone who appears only three times during the entire play, is way too invested into this - Zeke doesn't want to let his little brother down
speaks with a strange (and mildly offensive) accent
Count Paris - Marlowe
everyone wanted Jean to play the character but he refused since being rejected by a love interest seemed all too familiar to him
Hitch suggested that Marlowe should play the part because she wanted to see his serious ass showing some emotion
it's really hard for him to get into character (even if it's a simple one) so he stays in character throughout the whole play
can't kiss Juliet on the lips so only gives her a peck on the cheek
feels a relief everytime his character dies
Romeo - Marco
initially Jean was aiming at this role (because of course he would)
but then he saw the sheer amount of lines he's supposed to memorize and backed out
Marco's interpretation of Romeo is adorable rather then passionate
tbh Marco doesn't give off 100% performance - he just does exactly what he's asked to
in the scene when Romeo slays Tybalt, doesn't seem angry enough and just runs towards Tybalt in anime style before gently pushing him
Mercutio - Eren
wants this role because Mercutio seems like a free spirit
genuienly tries to remember his lines but failes miserably so someone always has to help him out
completely forgets the Queen Mab speech but stays in the character and rants about some random stuff
funny thing is... the audience actually buys it
draws out his death agony trying to make it as dramatic as possible
Benvolio - Armin
memorized the script in its entirety - potentially can play any role
was chosen for the role of Benvolio because he is the only one capable of calming Eren down
often helps others when they forget their lines (mostly Eren)
needs to break up the actual fights between Mercutio and Tybalt
Tybalt - Porco
was glad to get the role because it doesn't have a lot of lines and he gets to show off his physique
doesn't need to get into the character
Porco is already aggressive enough
whenever there's a fight scene, Porco improvises, throws out his sham sword and beats the shit out of his opponents
is convinced that Romeo wasn't actually strong enough to kill Tybalt
Friar Laurence - Connie (Reiner as an understudy)
initially this role was suggested to Bertholdt but he declined because of his stage fright
Connie wanted to be on the stage but didn't want to memorize the lines so the role of Friar Laurence seemed perfect - Connie was carrying around a book prop where he hid the notes with his lines
Connie whales and sobs everytime during his last monologue (when R&J are already dead)
One time Connie forgets about the play so Reiner has to substitute him - Reiner also wanted this role but didn't want to rob Connie of it
the black robe that Connie usually wears is really figure-hugging on Reiner (that's the power of tiddies)
Juliet - Hitch
yk Krista was the first person to be suggested for the role but she declined
Mikasa agreed to play Juliet but only if Eren plays Romeo - both Eren and Jean were against it
the troop settled on Hitch
initially likes the fact of being a lead - but gets irritated when she needs to attend all of the rehearsals
her acting is good but a bit unhinged - she likes to be overly dramaric
during the scene of the first kiss during the ball, Hitch is more eager to kiss Marco (and not the other way around as it should be according to the script)
Rosaline - Krista
Rosaline doesn't have any lines but she appears on the stage (at least in some adaptations)
Krista volunteered to play her part because she kins Rosaline (like her decision not to marry a man)
her bright neon nails stand out in the crowd of extras
Nurse - Sasha
originally the troop was unsure of this casting because of Sasha's seemingly lacking sense of responsibility
but Sasha vigorously learns her lines and is by far the most hard-working
sometimes she cheats though by sliding the notes with difficult-to-memorize lines inside her sleeves
although Sasha's nurse is not portrayed as caring as she should be, Sasha still manages to bring out the humurous side of the character
improvises a lot and makes a lot of jokes on the stage
gets berated by the director because of it
Production team
Director - Jean
a huge controversy led up to Jean's appointment as a director
starts dressing up to fit into his director aesthetic
draws most of the decorations
has beef with Eren so assistant director has to step in every time in order to instruct Eren
has his own "vision" of the play and doesn't let the actors improvise too much because they are sabotaging his perfect play
Assistant Director - Pieck
much more chill in comparison to Jean
unofficial director and the troop tends to be more cooperative with her
supervises all of the scenes where Eren has speaking lines
hosts teambuilding activities inbetween the reahearsals
Set Designer (also Prop Master) - Hange
their initial drafts on the decorations turn out to be too complicated for the school play
raids local thrift and craft stores in search of perfect props
spray-on metalic paint (silver or gold) is their solution to beautify the ugly looking props
didn't bother to make the blades of the swords dull
somehow gets their hands on a historical piece - which turns out to be a piece of broken crockery
Costume Designer - Levi
makes the costumes the way he wants them to be and is unfazed by Jean's requests
will die on this hill if the costumes are not historically accurate
the troop is scared to put on the costumes because Levi is gonna beat the shit out of them if they damage the clothes
is present during the rehearsals to make sure that the troop wears the costumes properly
Stage Crew - Bertholdt, Ymir and Mikasa
Ymir is the most focused out of the three - that is wnen Krista is not in the wings - otherwise she gets distracted and strikes up a conversations with her
Bertholdt hangs up all of the decorations thanks to his height (man's a fucking tree)
when it comes to the fast change of set decorations, Mikasa is the best at this
it turned out really messy but i hope you like it!
21 notes
·
View notes
Note
You at the beach, wearing a bikini... and your belly is big enough to graze the sand.
See, okay, I interpreted this two ways when I first read it out! Either; I’m so stupidly pregnant that my belly is low enough and big enough to reach the ground and graze the sand OR my stupid ass just fell over and I can’t push myself off the ground and I’m stuck right on top of my belly.
I think it’s most likely the first thing (actually, no, it definitely is) but I’ll run off both ideas for a bit, okay-
Look- I cause a scene on this beach I go on. They call in for a beached whale emergency when either I get stuck in the sand or as soon as I show up as I am.
A bunch of families and friends were there obviously, to have a good time with each other and to create some great, fun memories that would last forever and til the end of time but no, I’m the statement of the day. I’m all that anyone could of paid attention to and I’m what gets ingrained into their memories.
All eyes are settled on me and my gravid body that was slackly held all together by a scanty bikini. My bikini was made so thin, almost like a string; it looked ready to snap! All it did for me (in terms of coverage) was really just hide a little of my nipples, but it didn’t even manage to get over my large darkening areolas. I’m not modest and ashamed of this body, so I didn’t mind all this skin… at first.
When I come to this beach, I don’t go for an umbrella. I order in an entire tent to fit me under. I can easily soak up all the sun rays with the amount of expansive skin I was showing. I wasn’t looking for a tan, though, I just wanted to relax and maybe take a little dip.
But the opposite happens. As I’m going to ease myself down into my lawn chair — I have to do this very carefully with my belly in the way and all — I accidentally fall forward and get stuck in the sand. My belly cushioned my fall but it also held me down and trap me.
As I wiggle aggressively to get myself up, I attract a crowd and accidentally, my bikini rips. More people come and stare at this naked, heavily pregnant person struggle to get up with the burden of their horny, unsafe escapades.
Would anyone help me up or do anything? Who would leave someone so pregnant so helpless? 🥺
12 notes
·
View notes
Note
What if all the stardust crusaders were also mermen?
This is my first time writing for the other Jojo’s, so I’m sorry if they’re ooc. I tried 🤷♀️
Didn’t know exactly what you wanted so I just did some random things XD (sorry for the weird formatting)
What if the Crusaders were also Mermen? Chaos, that’s what. Just imagine a journey across the seas just to beat up the sea snake that is Dio, but then think ten times harder. Going from the Pacific Ocean, to the Indian Ocean, into the Arabian Sea all just to get his ass.
Enemies are still sent by Dio, but now Dark Blue Moon is no longer special, kek. No but, while the enemies remain similar, Stands aren’t really a thing and therefore it becomes more a fight of physical strength. When Mer can come in all sorts of shapes, colours and sizes however, the battles always remain with an unsure outcome. Vanilla Ice the Giant Squid was a very close call.
The journey itself was tiresome, with them having to swim the entire way instead of being able to use transportation. Not to even mention other things. Every day is chaos - not even taking enemies into account - when travelling with the crusaders:
Polnareff won’t have to worry about clean toilets for once but still always seems to be complaining about something, Kakyoin and Jotaro are both still adolescents so they don’t quite have a grip on their instincts yet, more easily distracted by small things such as animals they don’t yet know or a shape quickly fluttering away in the current (must be chased and caught!!!), Joseph is basically an overgrown adolescent even if he is the patriarch of the pod so he usually shoots along with his grandson and friend. Iggy is there but then he isn’t??? And then he is again?? All in all, Avdol should get a medal, award, title, anything and everything really for his patience and ability to keep the others on track and keep them going.
Now, personality wise:
The Joestar pod is a big one. Family and friends coming together over time to form a larger and larger pod until it is eventually one of the largest out there. All kinds of Mer have come together to form this giant family unit and - apart from one defect (Dio) - it has stayed surprisingly tight knit.
Jonathan:
He is the pod patriarch, making the decisions together with Erina, who is the matriarch.
Super protective of the pod. Would shield the entire family with his body if he could. But since he can’t he’ll settle for just shielding all the pups, since the others can protect themselves. He is large enough to do so anyways.
Best play mate possible. All the pups love him.
I imagine he either has the body of a seal, or a blue whale. Very different yes, but he is just an excited ginormous puppy, hence the seal. But he is also a gentle giant, hence the blue whale. And also... other, more obvious reasons (*cough* he buff and giant *cough*).
Joseph:
In his younger years, he is the bane of existence of all the adults in the pod. In both his adolescent as well as young adult/adult stage, Joseph is a hyperactive troublemaker. More than once he has snuck out of pod territory, only to come fleeing back with an angry sea creature on his tail, needing resident buff protector Jonathan to step up and chase his attacker off.
In his older years, he has mellowed out a bit, needing to be since he inherited the position of pod patriarch from Jonathan. He is however, still a prankster and always will be. He will play a prank on the pups every so often where he pretends to have died in the night when they come get him for meal- or play time (He’s been scolded by Suzie Q for that after one of the pups burst out crying. He promised to never do it again, but he definitely will).
I imagine he has the lower body of a dolphin. Dolphins can be real assholes. But also very playful and agile, which Joseph stays, no matter his age. Either that, or a sawfish. Their faces look a little silly, but don’t bloody mess with them. They are fast as all hell and they can also get to be fujking big. About 7 meters (23 feet) on average to be exact. But then again, Joseph wouldn’t get the face so he has nothing to worry about.
Jotaro:
Oh, Jotaro. Our resident grumpy Mer. In a pod dynamic he usually has one of two moods. Tolerant, or, leave me the fuck alone. Usually it is the latter.
Surprisingly enough however, his personality seems to appeal to several of the pups. It’s about a 50/50 chance whether they’ll be scared of him, or think he is the coolest. Oftentimes a disgruntled Jotaro can be seen, followed by about two or three small Mer who are chatting his ears off or chewing on his side fins as they teeth.
Thanks to this, Jotaro is often the one who goes hunting. It finally gives him a bit of that peace and quiet he needs. Yare yare indeed.
I imagine Jotaro to have the body of a bull shark. Not the biggest or most aggressive shark out there, but part of the top 3 for sure. Also, Mer have the tendency to have their tails be bigger than their animal counterpart, such is definitely the case with Jotaro. Male bull sharks averaging in about 2 meters in length while just Jotaro’s tail is already almost double that.
Josuke:
Josuke has inherited some of his father’s hyperactivity unfortunately. The young Mer can often be heard from a mile away whenever he is hanging out with his friends.
Speaking of which, one day Josuke just turned up with several Mer in need of a home. Guess they’re part of the pod now!
Josuke is always quick to help anyone who needs it though. Need a hand? Josuke is there. Want someone to watch the pups? Might be a bit of a hazard, but Josuke will gladly do so. Need something that is very specific and probably quite a swim-distance away? Josuke is already on his way there.
He just wants to help and be useful, let him do stuff please 🥺
Still somehow has his hairdo, even underwater.
I drew Josuke as a Nurse shark a little while back, but for some reason I can also really see him being a sting ray?? I don’t know why, I think a sting ray fits him but that may be my bias towards stingrays.
But the lower half I can really see him having is that of a sailfish. (Have you seen the sails on those fish? They are just as impressive as Josuke’s hair. It’s a perfect match) they are fast as fuck boiiiiii, perfect for our lovable goof.
Either that or he is an otter cause they are bloody adorablez
Giorno:
Giorno wasn’t born as part of the Joestar pod unfortunately. Growing up, his father, Dio, had different goals and morals and broke away from the Joestar pod. Oftentimes Giorno heard him talk about the old pod he was once a part of, and how he vowed to wipe it from the sea.
This sparked a curiosity in the young Mer and when he was old enough, he decided to just up and leave the Brando pod. His initial goal was to find the Joestar pod he had heard so much about, but on his travels, he came across a different one. After spending some time with them, he decided to remain with Bucciarati and his pod of misfits.
All kinds of sea creatures flock to Giorno. For some reason, the calm and confident aura he gives off makes many animals feel safe and protected, hiding under or against his body if he is resting or sitting down on the ocean floor, or - if Giorno allows it - following him as he swims.
Giorno. Hmm, Giorno. I think he might have the lower body of a barracuda or a lion fish. Sleek, streamlined, dangerous. Or, pretty, yet hard to approach with his poisonous spikes poised unless he trusts you and allows you near. His spikes will lie as flat down his body as he can get them to show this. Not many Mer have this honour.
(Or he is part of the requiem shark family, lols, sorry I had to)
Jolyne:
Jolyne can be energetic or standoffish, you can never really tell which of the two it will be. Her dynamic in the pod differs from day to day depending on her mood, but when it comes to it, there is nothing she won’t do for it.
Very playful and giddy. Loves to hang out with her best friends and is the unofficial appointed forager with how much stuff she brings back whenever she goes for a swim.
Jolyne’s lower half. Hum hmm. Her body either somewhat resembles a butterfly fish, only- updated to be more mermaid like by being more stretched out, her tail fin mainly resembling the fish while her tail is more classic. It’s very pretty though and she somehow has some octopus genes in her, making her able to change colours, which she absolutely loves to do, nearly coming in with a new colour every day (though she has a few favourites) Either that, or she resembles her dad a little more with the lower half of a spinner shark. She’s sleek and agile. A swift and dangerous predator you should not mess with. She might look harmless when she’s chatting with her friends, but when she is spinning at you with claws poised and no way to escape, you’d click a different tune.
Haven’t read part 7 or 8 yet, sorry :(
#jojos bizarre adventure#jjba#mermaid au#jonathan joestar#joseph joestar#jotaro kujo#josuke higashitaka#giorno giovanna#jolyne cujoh#mermen#mermaid#jjba sdc#blub
96 notes
·
View notes
Text
Goodbye - Epilogue (Captain Syverson)
MASTERLIST P1 P2 P3 P4 P5
A/N: I happy cried writing this. I apologize for it’s delay but sincerely hope it was worth the wait. Enjoy!
If I keep tagging you and you’re not interested or want to be tagged; please let know!
Word Count: 2.1k
Warnings: SO MUCH FLUFF, language, a hint of smut, more fluffy domestic goodness, reference to PTSD
***********************************
An arid summer’s eve laid upon them yet a welcoming, cool brisk dispersed through the night’s mellow sky. It was one of those magical July nights, a night that didn’t cause you to swelter miserably. At least not as fast as usual. Y/N gazed up at the array of luminescent stars glistening down on her sighing contently. She eyed the big dipper with ease thinking back to every astrological book she’d homed over the three decades.
Her hand grazed her bulging belly soaking in the last days before her son’s arrival. She leaned her head against the cool cushion contemplating the peaceful the evening. Soon her thoughts drifted to her husband, Sy putting their two miracles, Luna and Oliver to bed. Her eldest, Oliver was the definition of a blessing in disguise. Now her baby was five and the celebration of Luna’s third birthday long past. Where did the time go…every mother greatest fear.
Briefly, Y/N closed her eyes listening to the music laced in the wind. Soon they would be outnumbered, something both of them were slowly coming to terms with. Sy cherished the swell of her belly and the fullness of her breasts secretly wishing for as many kids as humanly possible.
Y/N, on the other hand figured three was plenty but Sy was a tricky one, a handsomely tricky man who worshipped the ground she walked on. A different man from their initially rocky start. Granted, looking back on the beginning of their relationship left a small twinge in her chest, he’d tried his damndest to make it up to her every day since leaving that hospital.
Sy had gone through hell and back clawing his way from death’s vicious grip. Rehabilitation had kicked his ass but he persevered gradually gaining strength after every tedious therapy session. Needless to say, the last couple years weren’t always roses and butterflies. Oh no, there were times when Sy admitted defeat, yelled in unbridled anger, and genuinely resented the cards he’d been dealt.
But it brought them here together, in this moment, forever thankful of their ever-growing family. And for that she would be infinitely indebted for the rest of her days. Thankfully after two intensive years of non-stop motivation and assistance, the only sign of his accident was a minor limp Y/N found absolutely loveable.
Cicadas pierced the silence as lightning bugs alit to life. Sy’s heavy steps protruded along the wood stripped floors making his way towards his magnificent wife. The swivel of the sliding door popped Y/N’s serene daze. A thunderous voice echoed; “Baby?”
Y/N hummed sensing him approach from behind. His meaty hands met the crook of her neck massaging her swollen shoulders. An uncontrollable exhale escaped her.
“Hey good lookin’.”
His lips brushed against her moisturized skin grazing her collarbone before roaming towards the corner of her lip. Taking his own cue, Sy continued his trail of hot kisses down her chest wavering towards her plump breasts. She moaned in pure bliss.
“If you keep that up, you’re going to send me into labor.”
Sy stopped, a chuckle reverberating from his chest; “Ain’t that a good thing?” His Texas twang was the equivalence of freshly churned butter, a noise so familiar her heart still soared to cloud nine.
Choosing to ignore his sass, Y/N found herself staring upwards at the stars and many constellations. Sy’s large frame settled into the chair beckoning her towards the setta lounge chair. Y/N nodded unwilling to deny her handsome husband a minute longer sliding into his lap. His heat immediately emitted to her core warming every bit of exposed skin.
“I see you made it out in one piece?”
Sy’s massive arms engulfed Y/N’s changing body perching his chin atop her shoulder.
“Hardly! If I have to read Uni the Unicorn one more damn time I might have to be committed.”
Y/N jokingly slapped his shoulder; “Oh c’mon. You love seeing Luna’s beaming smile or else you wouldn’t give in to her every night.”
“Sure, she’s cute now but wait til she’s datin.”
“Nope, nope. She’s still gonna be my sweetie.”
Sy considered his wife’s words coming to a conclusion that she was shamelessly right. His girls had him tightly wound around their fingers. He wasn’t your average fool, no he was now a family man fool. If someone told him this is where his life path would’ve led him, he’d have blatantly laughed in their face but now he saw no other future than the one right in front of him. The numerous doctors and therapists saved his life but Y/N truly revived him from the perverse melancholy of PTSD.
The woman who hung the moon, balanced his universe, the woman who miraculously gave life to two healthy children, and the woman he once stupidly shoved aside. That was in the past and for the first time in his life, Sy looked forward to the future, their future.
Together they sat tangled as one listening to nature’s melody. After leaving the city, they’d purchased ten acres ready to rear their children outside of hectic city living.
“Baby, have I told you I love you today? Because if not shame on me.”
“Only bout a million times but who’s counting.”
His arms draped around her waist tenderly rubbing her jutting stomach.
“God, you are so fucking sexy like this.”
“Like what? Bloated and gassy?”
Her sarcasm was undeniable.
“No, horny and swollen with my child.”
“Man, you really know how to get my hormones raging….”
“Seriously babe, I love seeing pregnant. It’s incredibly hot. Bigger boobs, higher sex drive, these curves, I mean who would complain?”
“Ha ha. Well, that makes one of us because I feel like a whale.”
Syverson didn’t miss a beat; “But a very sexy whale.”
“Kids go down easy?”
“If by easy you mean fifteen minutes of reading with light back rubbing, and a fight over that squirrel night light, then yes, they went down easy.”
“Thank you for the peace and quiet. Sincerely.”
“Anything for you, baby.”
“Any more thought on what to name bubba here?”
Y/N caressed her belly protectively searching for catchy names.
“What about… Henry?”
Sure enough, Y/N nodded liking the ring of it; “Henry Syverson. Sounds pretty awesome if I do say so myself.”
He held her jaw lightly guiding her to face him admiring the sparkle in her eyes.
“Well cowgirl, I can’t wait to meet him.”
“I can’t believe we’re about to be outnumbered.”
Her pulse accelerated at the terrifying notion alone but Sy remained calm, cool, and collected.
“Y/N, we’ve got this. You and me, together. We’ve mastered two already, what’s one more?”
Her newfound nerves evaporated. Y/N squirmed trying to stretch her sleepy bones. A sensational moan flowed from his lips. So, Y/N repeated her previous movement wiggling her hips for full effect.
“Darlin, that feels fucking fantastic.”
“Mmm, yeah?
Taking charge Y/N kissed him sliding her tongue along his lower lip. With every passing second the intensity skyrocketed; Y/N passionately kissed him. Syverson devoured her like a man starved deepening the connection. Breathy pants circulated around the air. Before Sy could enunciate another vowel, his zipper was down and Y/N palming his hardening dick. He was damn glad he married a minx. His head back launched against the cushion at the sensation coursing through his veins. Y/N made quick work unbuttoning his pant clasp tugging the offensive material below his knees.
Sy’s fingers danced over her hips clutching at the sheer nightie. Silently taking his cue, Y/N raised to her knees giving him full access. Sy didn’t hesitate ripping the material watching her round breasts shimmer underneath the moonlight.
“God baby. You are gorgeous.”
“And to think you almost passed all this up.”
His laugh was hesitant thinking back on his former idiotic actions. Y/N allowed him a couple seconds of consolation before snapping him out of his self-hatred inner monologue. Her hand gripped his chin forcing his gaze; “Don’t do that, honey. Our past is what saved us. You are the only man for me.”
He plunged two fingers into her soaked pussy jolting her system. Her hips moved as Y/N fucked herself atop him. Sy watched on in awe basking in marvel.
“Fuck, sweetheart. I gotta be inside you. Now.” Choking out the final word Sy knew he wouldn’t last long at this rate. He teased her clit rubbing his bulging tip teasingly along her most sensitive part. Y/N slid down his thick cock relishing in his fullness.
Every push and pull succumbed to a harder thrust. Sy held on for dear life losing himself in her sweet essence. Fireworks sparked beneath her lids as Sy pulsated within her velvety walls. Underneath the stars, two lovers made love uninterrupted for as long as the darkness lingered. Two mind- blowing orgasms later, two lovers remained intertwined and imperfectly in love.
--------------
“Mommy! Dada!”
Little feet pattered down the hallway nearing with every step. Y/N’s lids were sleep heavy enveloped by muscular arms.
“The rascals are awake and on the prowl.”
“Too awake. It’s Sunday! The day definition of rest.”
“Not when you have kids, hon.”
“Quick! Kiss me before the barge in.”
Sy leaned closer admiring his wife’s morning beauty sealing the deal. Milliseconds later their bedroom door burst open as two little people climbed the chest located at the foot of the bed. Grinning smiles in tow, Oliver and Luna snuggled towards their drowsy parents. Oliver landing atop Sy’s bare chest and Luna snuggled Y/N’s welcoming bosom.
“Mama! You pretty.”
Y/N grinned at her beautiful baby girl wondering just where the little baby she gave birth to went. Her heart ached wanting to memorize every last detail.
Sy’s booming bravado could awaken an entire hotel spinning her kids into endless giggles.
“Good morning my cubs!”
“Daddy, we’re not cubs!”
“To me you are.”
Y/N shot him a glare; Sy joined in breaking into a fit of laughter; “Who’s hungry?!”
“Me!”
“Me, me, daddy!”
Jumping up and down, they were ready to greet the day bushy-eyed and energetic. Momma was in serious need of a strong cup of peppermint tea.
“But first lemme kiss baby Hen.”
Too distracted by husband caressing her loving belly, Y/N sighed at the newly created nickname.
“Hen, huh?”
His magnetic eyes travelled to hers; “You like?”
“So much. But let’s address the real elephant in the room… What’s for breakfast?”
Oliver continued jumping as Luna squirmed in Sy’s strong arms.
“Daddy! Daddy!”
Y/N feigned coyly suppressing her glee; “Hmm, I’m thinkin…...WAFFLES!!”
“My favvvvorite!!”
Shuffles of tiny feet waddled echoing down the hallway. Sy placed a loving kiss on her forehead; “Take your time sweetheart. I’ll watch the monsters.”
“You’re a godsend.”
“Only for my girl.”
Heavy footsteps followed suit. As much as Y/N treasured the last few months of pregnancy. With that being said she was more than ready to greet her bundle of joy. Out of nowhere a pain shot through her spine down to her pelvis knocking the wind from Y/N.
“Ouch...” She rubbed her stomach; “Hungry little man?”
Again, another kick radiated her body. Y/N ventured forward heading towards the loud noise coming from the kitchen.
Splash. Glancing down, Y/N noticed a puddle between her legs staring wide-eyed; “Shit, shit, shit!”
A dull ache riveted feeling overwhelming pressure on her uterus. Warm liquid dripped down her inner thighs. This could only mean one thing; show time.
“Sy!”
No response.
“Syverson! Get your cute butt up here! NOW.”
Sy magically appeared out of breath, concern written all over his face; “What? What��s wrong, sweetheart?”
With her contraction temporarily paused her brain was able to formulate words; “I uh, believe my water just broke.”
“Holy shit.”
“Language, damnit!”
Sy threw her a stern spirited look; “Hi, Pot. I’m Kettle.”
“Hush it and make yourself useful. Suitcase is in the hall closet by the front door. I’m gonna grab my slippers. Meet you in a jiffy.”
An arm reached for Y/N; “Ah, ah. Not so fast. I moved them two days ago. I had this weird feeling buggin me and well, ya.”
Taking a deep hearty breath, Y/N collected her impulsive thoughts; “Okay, let’s’ get the littles buckled and do this, baby.”
“One sec.”
Locked in his hug, Sy wanted to remember every detail of Y/N, just like this, in the home they built and the family they were blessed with. Words were no longer necessary. But just as quickly, another wave of contractions hit Y/N sending her hurling over.
“Okay, moment over. Let’s get the show on the road.”
And just like that the once too painful burdens Syverson lugged with him the past years vanished never questioning his luck and life again eternally grateful to the woman who simply said I do.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tags: @thedeadhearted @giveusbackourbucky @henry-cavill-obsessed @onlyhenrys @omgkatinka @thereisa8ella @threeminutesoflife @homewreckingwreck @gemini0410 @maan14@bluegalaxyprime @sofiebstar @whyyykitkat @encounterthepast @readermia @ly-canthropewrites @scorpionchild81 @henrythickcavill @snowbellexx @stephartrave @agniavateira @cap-barnes @henryfanfics101 @mary-ann84 @westcoast-nightowl @poledancingdinos @justaboringadult @peakygroupie @nalathefirefly @vikingsbifrost @bloodyinspiredfuck @moderapoppins @cooldiva1234 @icedcoffeeismythang @titty-teetee @summersong69 @kaatelyyynn @missursulacalmet @michelehansel @iloveyouyen @shyshu @star017 @raynosaurus-rex @radkesgirl83 @starrynite7114 @wheretheriversrunintothesea @i-love-scott-mccall @darkbooksarwin @ellieseymour70 @designerwriterchic @studywithrosie01 @dangerouslovefanfic @lebguardians @crazybutconfidentaf @hen-cavill @cavill-sass @oh-for-fic-sake @icedbottles @buckysgoldenheart @brexrif @gryffindorwriter @laketaj24 @foxyjwls007 @lawsofthejungle @henrycavillfanpage @kaboogie21 @fangirl199812 @gothicninibalor @qualitynightkoala @strictlybuckybarnes @toomanyfandomsshreya @hersilencescreams-blog @viking-raider @sesamepancakes @madbaddic7ed @fuckoffbard @funfickgirl22 @inlovewithhisblueeyes @wolvesandhoundshowltogether @hoeforhenry @henrycavills-babe @abschaffer2 @loving-this @one-of-those-fanfiction-blogs @lovelycavills @beck07990 @bokillylovesloki @michelehansel @lharrietg
#henry cavill#henry cavill x reader#captain syverson x reader#captain syverson#henry cavill fic#henry cavill x y/n#captain syverson x y/n#my writing#goodbye#henry cavill fluff#cpt sy#syverson#bernie sanders#netflix#captain sy#henry cavill fanfic#henry cavill imagine#henry cavill drabble
190 notes
·
View notes
Note
Don't know if you're still doing the July Prompts, but in case you feel like it... Treasure Hunt, please? 😁🤗
Hello, my dear!
I love this prompt and I had more than one idea for it honestly but settled on a Mermaid AU. It needs a continuation at some point before I think I'll post it on ao3 but I hope you'll enjoy the start anyway!
(and this will be the last of the July prompts I'll be able to do)
**
A foggy morning upon the southern sea and a lone cutter with sixteen souls aboard ghosts across the surface where a tired, young sailor rubs his eyes.
The captain rises from his bunk and joins him on the bridge. “Where’s Thorne?”
Jon jerks his thumb over his shoulder to indicate the head. “Hobb’s chili’s not agreeing with him, captain.”
Mormont winces in sympathy for his second in command but Jon secretly hopes Thorne stays there another half hour. He hates my ass and the feeling is mutual at this point.
“Very well. Anything on radar, Snow?”
“No, sir. Clear and quiet.”
“Not been any sirens tempting you to jump ship then?”
Jon’s surprised that the old man is pulling his leg this early as Mormont is far from a morning person. There are legends surrounding these waters but it’s all a load of horseshit. Of course, the sunken treasure they’re seeking off this coast may well be one too but men are known to risk much for even a bit of gold.
“No, sir. No sirens, giant krakens or merfolk so far. I’ll let you know if any pay us a call though.”
Jon anticipates a wry grin in answer to his sarcasm but Mormont looks to be in deadly earnest when he says, “Don’t mock things you don’t understand, boy.”
He softens the scolding tone with a pat on the shoulder though and makes to leave again when Jon cannot help asking, “Do you think we’ll find my uncle out here?”
He’s told ‘maybe’ but the old man’s sorrowful look says ‘no.’
Benjen had commanded the first expedition out here last year looking for the Wolf’s Eye, the fabled shipwreck from years past with a ruby the size of a man's fist reportedly part of its treasure. The ship never returned and neither has any of the crew.
Alone again, Jon looks back over the water and his eyes begin to grow heavy once more. It’s been a long night on duty.
A sudden, steady beeping from the radar has him sitting up straight. What is that? It’s huge, twice as big as the ship. It’s not possible that a vessel that size could’ve snuck up on them so quickly and quietly, is it? Must be a whale or an uncharted reef.
He cuts the engines, sounds the alert and lets the ship begin to drift to a stop. The captain will probably be back up in a minute.
Stepping out from the bridge, he goes to the rail for a look and sees her. There’s a girl in the water! Where did she come from?!
“Man overboard!” he shouts with all his might as he reaches for a life preserver.
He takes aim and tosses it skillfully towards her. It lands less than three feet from her but she makes no move to grab it. She continues treading water and looking up at him with curiosity.
“Grab the float, miss! I’ll haul you in!” he cries.
A confused smile, a shrug. She gingerly taps the life preserver, a look of frank suspicion. Then, she seems to understand and waves at him.
And even in the early morning light and fog, Jon can tell her eyes are a lovely cerulean blue and her hair is a blaze of red. It’s not the shade of the ruby which they seek but more of an auburn, like a cozy fire in one’s hearth on a cold night, a more tangible sort of treasure to Jon's way of thinking.
She’s smiling up at him and…gods, she’s beautiful.
The ship is coming to life. Men race along the deck trying to figure out what’s going on. He can hear Thorne bellowing at him from the bridge but he keeps staring at the girl in the water who seems concerned by all the hullabaloo she and the radar has caused. She still makes no move towards the ship.
“If you won’t save yourself, I guess I’ll be saving you,” Jon grumbles with conviction as he begins to tug off his boots.
The girl in the water laughs at that. She seems to want him to jump into the water with her.
What sort of game is this? What had Mormont teased him of just a short time ago? Should he be more cautious than this? That's what he's most often being rebuked for aboard, flying headlong into an uncertain situation without giving it enough thought.
But his hands are already on the railing, preparing to climb over…when an almighty jarring crash knocks him to his knees. Have they struck the reef?! Is there an invisible ship out there they’ve run square into?
No, there’s a tentacle coming up over the side. An enormous tentacle, as big around as a pig! There’s more than one! It’s wrapping around the ship and pulling. The bloody thing seems to be intent on taking the ship under!
His eyes find the girl’s again and those big blue eyes are frightened. She gestures wildly for him to jump, to come to her. (And her gesturing brings Jon’s attention to the fact that she’s not wearing any sort of clothing or swimsuit on her top half at least. Seven hells.)
Regardless of her state of dress, there’s bigger problems at hand. Panicked and not knowing what else to do, Jon jumps towards the girl in the water, barely clearing one of those huge tentacles.
Perhaps it’s the impact of hitting the water or perhaps something hit his head as he jumped but Jon feels pain and the blackness is closing in and he immediately gulps in a mouthful of seawater.
Sputtering and disoriented, he’s briefly aware of the girl wrapping one thin, cool arm around his torso and pulling him rapidly away from the cutter. They move so quick, like dolphins through the water. She's stronger and faster than he would've ever guessed.
There’s shouts and cries from the men aboard the ship and subconsciously Jon knows something very bad is happening but in his drifting, foggy state, he can’t seem to comprehend it all.
"Who are you?" he asks the girl...or maybe he just thinks it.
She looks so worried over him and he wants to tell her not to worry. He may find his uncle here.
She shakes her head and gently kisses his aching brow and gives him what he thinks is an attempt at a reassuring smile.
One of his hands is tangled in her wet hair and Jon would swear there’s a silvery fin beating against his dangling, useless legs before consciousness leaves him completely.
*TBC*
#jonsa#jonsa fanfic#mermaid au#patritxi#prompt asks#this one is to be continued#when I find the time 😩
41 notes
·
View notes
Text
Amidst the golden blossoms (Lumine x Childe oneshot)
Olah! I'm back~!
First off, thank you so much for all the likes and love that you've given for my first oneshot 🥺
I'm sorry for not posting anything new for almost a month and honestly, writing this one was a real doozy. Regardless, I hope you all enjoy it and again,
Thank you very much and have a nice day!
-Sakura
Exploring Liyue was certainly a challenge. Given how the terrain is a mix of tall mountains, wet marshes and winding paths that go over and under the surface, it was completely different from that of Mondstadt. Though of course, the monsters here were a lot tougher and certainly became a pain in the ass when all she wanted was to explore this new land.
However, Lumine would always marvel at how everything is so yellow here. In many of the worlds they had visited before, yellow always symbolizes joy and light. In Teyvat, it represented the Geo element, loyal and grounded as it painted the trees, leaves floating in the breeze and the flowers that bloomed almost everywhere she went, resonating with the power of Geo that once lorded over this vast domain.
Though perhaps, it was the color she was most of as it that reminded her most of her beloved brother.
The girl let out a sigh as the Ruin Guard finally collapsed, fading to blue dust as she continued on her afternoon stroll. Nearing the clearing, she noticed the golden spiral she had discovered just a few days ago.
She remembered how beautiful it had looked from afar as she first saw it atop the mountain near Guili Plains. It was fascinating to say the least, as she glided down to examine it even further. Unfortunately, she was interrupted by some hilichurls nearby that somewhat soured her mood. Even after that, once she'd activated the elemental monuments, she was ambushed by an Eye of the Storm that she disposed of with some difficulty given that she only had Fischl as her team’s archer.
Yet at this moment, it seemed that what truly caught her eye was a blot of orange and gray that stood out from the golden landscape.
Deciding to take a closer look, she slowly approached with her footsteps slow and steady. When the figure finally came into focus, she tried to ignore how her heart skipped a beat.
Standing there was no other than Childe, or rather, Tartaglia, the eleventh Harbinger of the Fatui.
She quietly ducked behind the rock near her, peering out enough just to see. What was he doing here?
Their last encounter had not been so pleasant. After all, she had to defeat him three times and even after that, she had to clean up after him as he decided to summon an ancient god in the midst of a temper tantrum and beat the crap out of countless of his lackeys.
Looking at him like this seemed weird, listless and silent. It was certainly different from the Childe she knew, given how she was well aware that underneath that boyish, annoyingly handsome exterior lay the fearsome spirit of a bloodthirsty warrior.
He was still staring up at the sky when she heard him speak. "Like what you see, ojou-chan?" Her eyes widened, somewhat startled. "You could take a picture you know, that way it'll last longer."
She clicked her tongue. There was no point in hiding anymore. She got up from her spot and strode near him seeing as he stood in the center of the spiral.
“So what brings you here?” he said with his usual, playful tone, a major difference from when he spoke during their final battle in the Golden House. His eyes were focused on her now, a smirk adorning his face.
“ I could ask you the same thing,” she huffed. She reminded herself to be on guard, after all this is the very same man who threatened to wipe out dozens of innocent people with zero hesitation.
He chuckled in reply. “Staying inside a stuffy bank the whole day just isn’t my style, you know?” He placed an arm on his hip and she noticed how the action made his top rise a little bit, giving her a peek of his well-toned abs.
He was a bloodthirsty warrior, yes, but an attractive one nonetheless.
He continued, “Plus, it’s amazing to see how different Liyue is from Snezhnaya.”
That statement certainly piqued her interest as she asked him with genuine curiosity. She was a traveller at heart after all. “Really? How so?”
Childe looked at her, somewhat surprised. She tilted her head a bit, somewhat bemused by his reaction until she realized the absence of caution in her words. “Shoot,” Lumine thought. “I-I mean-”
“ You know that there’s no harm in me telling you about my homeland, right?” he turned to her, crossing his arms.
She took a step back, “You can’t exactly blame me for not trusting you after you threw a whale at me. Twice.”
The girl was surprised to see him frown, eyes lowering a bit narrowing slightly.
Since when was he so emotional? Lumine thought this is definitely a big contrast to the Childe, or rather, Tartaglia, she was familiar with.
Although, she can’t deny that a part of her wanted to say sorry. It certainly wasn’t nice of her to treat him so coldy, especially now when he seemed to resemble the look of a kicked puppy. Sad but oddly cute. She immediately stopped her train of thought. She shouldn’t think that this man could be in any way adorable.
He sighed. “Then how about a spar? If you win, I’ll tell you all about Snezhnaya,” she noticed how his eyes gleamed at , “but if I win, you’ll share stories about your place.”
She blinked. “ I don’t see how this benefits you at all.” Given her time with Zhongli, she knows that there should be more to their deal than just stories.
He simply shrugged. “I mean I do get a good fight out of it and honestly, I’d really want to get to know more about you, ojou-chan.” There it was again, that impish, boyish smile that made her heart flutter slightly.
She put a hand to her chin, a vain attempt to hide the growing warmth on her cheeks. Although some part of her told her she certainly shouldn’t be fraternizing with the enemy, there was no harm in a little sparring session. After all, she had beaten him before and this also seemed like a good chance to know more about the Tsaritsa too, if she could figure out a way to worm it out of him.
She wouldn’t dare to acknowledge how her heart did a little dance at the thought of getting to know more about him though.
She gazed at him, the small smile from earlier returning. “Fine, we have a deal.”
That seemed to have cheered him up as he quickly ran to one side of the spiral with her following suit and taking her place on the opposite end.
Even as the sun began to dip in the horizon, she could see glimmer in his eyes, blue orbs glowing in the faint sunlight. There seemed to be no trace of his gloomy disposition earlier, and she could almost imagine him with a tail that swung back and forth, much like how a puppy would greet its owner.
She shook her head. She really should stop with the dog similes.
She was immediately brought back to the present when an arrow whizzed past her, the sound ringing in her ear. She tried to mask her surprise with a straight face, eyebrow raised as she summoned her sword.
“Hey, eyes on me ojou-chan,” she didn’t miss how his voice sounded deeper, huskier, almost like a low growl. Pushing that thought away, she rolled sideways to dodge the incoming arrows then lunged, quickly closing the distance between them.
She wasn’t surprised to hear the sound of metal and water clashing, as she tried to push against him. She was forced to jump back when he switched to a spear, slicing a wide arc in front of him.
He continued his offense, switching again to his blades this time. He gave her blow after blow, leaving little room for her to maneuver in. She parried his every thrust with her own strikes, matching his speed and power. Lumine scanned his movements, eyes calculating for an opening.
Just as she expected, he became more apparently irritated with her sticking to defense.
“Come on, it isn’t fun when-” Lumine quickly cut him off, releasing the Anemo energy she had secretly been building up with her other hand in front of her, making him stumble slightly as she pressed on with her own barrage of attacks.
Even as he stepped away, she made sure that the last swing contained a small gust of wind that managed to graze his cheek. As he caught his breath, she tried to mimic his own cocky smirk. “Eyes on me, Childe.”
She had meant to mock him for earlier but instead she heard him laugh, a sweet, melodious sound that resonated within her. A voice in her head kept reminding her to stay on guard, that she should take the first chance to strike back.
But seeing him like this, eyes filled with so much light and a wide smile adorning his handsome features, filled her with a sense of satisfaction that tugged at her heartstrings.
“Ojou-chan," his laughter slowly calming, "you are simply adorable."
Lumine felt her cheeks flush as the grip on her sword tightened. "H-hey!"
"Alright, alright." His laughter finally died down as she saw him return to his former stance, his predatory gaze set on her once more yet the smile never left his lips. "Let's have some fun."
~
Their battle lasted until the moon had settled in the sky, bathing the land in its iridescent glow.
A strike here, a hit there, the two exchanged blows with no hesitation. The young warriors fought amidst the golden flowers, filling the air with the sounds of their blades clashing as the yellow petals glided along with them.
Time was lost to the two as they continued in their own world, a dance that only they knew as they kept up with each other's paces, making sure to keep the other on their toes.
But as always, Lumine was once more the victor, her blade pressed closely to the Harbinger's nape, successfully trapping him underneath her.
He was panting quite loudly, his chest rising steadily against her own. "Fine, you win." He let his blades melt away, hands raised in defeat.
Lumine smirked at his surrender as she could finally focus on steadying her own breath, willing her sword away as she huffed.
"Though I've gotta say," his eyes peeked downward then back to her, "I didn't expect that you'd want to go for another round."
She raised an eyebrow in reply, continuing to stare at him in confusion. That is until she glimpsed in the same direction, finally noticing how her legs were straddling his hips as she sat on top of his stomach, the heat emanating from his body seeping into her.
"Ah!" She immediately scrambled to get off of him, trying desperately to mask the crimson that bloomed on her cheeks by sitting a few meters away. Though some part of her missed his warmth, the rational part of her brain shoved that way back inside the depths of her thoughts.
Lumine noticed from the corner of her eye that he was gazing up at the sky. Feeling her blush slowly dissipate, she moved a little closer.
"So, what do you want to know first?" He was lying down now, his blue eyes shining underneath the moonlight.
She laid down next to him, her back slightly tickled by the blades of grass underneath her as they both stared up at the sky in silence.
"Can you tell me about your favorite places there?" She faced him, trying to mask the enthusiasm in her voice.
"From what I can remember…" he muttered, "We had this huge marketplace in the center of the city where my father would always take me and my siblings to buy all sorts of trinkets and goodies for mother. Afterwards he'd take us to an old bakery that also sold Sharlotka."
"What's that?"
"It's this really fluffy cake with apples that melts in your mouyh while you eat it. The apples give it a tart, fruity taste that also balances the sugar dusting on top." He sighed. "Man, I should really make some sometime."
"Hmm, where else...Oh, we also used to go to this frozen lake just a few minutes from our house where my father taught me how to ice-fish." He smiled at the thought. "My old man would make a competition of who got the biggest fish, and he'd always say these really corny jokes just to make me laugh when I had a bad day."
"Those were definetly simpler times." He looked wistful as he spoke.
Noticing how his mood lowered, Lumine spoke in a teasing tone, "you sound just like Daddy's little boy.
He was quick to return her taunt. "On the contrary, I'm actually a proud Mama's boy," he smirked, "where do you think I got my passion for cooking?"
"Oh?" Playing along, she rolled her eyes. "So you're saying that your cooking tastes better than mine?"
"Girlie, I'm not saying. I know that I'd wipe the floor with just my own version of a Sweet Madame."
"I'd like to see you try, water boy." She laughed.
Their playful banter died down as they continued to watch the starry sky, the two basking in comfortable silence.
Childe was the first to speak. "Perhaps when you get there, you'd need someone who could show you around the city, maybe a few spots outside it too."
She smiled. "That does sound nice."
There it was. An unspoken promise that they would make plans to spend time with each other, not as Tartaglia and the Traveller, but as….friends?
She huffed slightly, friends was one way to put it. She was supposed to be wary of him, push him away and strike him down when the chance presented itself. He was a bad guy after all.
Yet somewhere in her heart knew that there was more to this man than his thirst for battle and his honey-sweet tongue.
"Lumine?"
"Hm?" Turning to face him once more, her eyes widen slightly at the foreign sight before her. For the first time ever, Childe's eyes looked unsure, perhaps even a little shy.
"Thank you for tonight." Never would she imagine that she would hear those words from him.
"What for?"
"It's been a while since I've shared something that wasn't work related…" he grinned, though she noticed it didn't reach his eyes this time, "I don't exactly have anyone to talk to about these things."
It finally dawned on her as she continued to stare at him, astounded at his confession. He was a lone soldier facing the world with nothing but his own strength to rely on. He was fierce and merciless, a force to be reckoned with.
Yet the Childe that she was talking to right now was the complete opposite. He was lonely. Vulnerable.
Lumine tried to speak, but she couldn't think of the right words to say. Instead, she reached out a hand to cup his cheek, breaking him from his stupor.
This was too risky. Too bold of a move that broke all the rules she had followed this whole time. Aether would warn her not to get attached for a traveller will never linger in one place for too long.
However, here she was stuck in an unknown world, comforting one of the most dangerous people in all of Teyvat.
"Well," she whispered, "you have me."
She expected him to laugh, to scoff at her and remind her that they were on opposite sides of a war. She thought he would pull away, and turn around to leave her there.
To her surprise, he squeezed her hand in his, relishing the warmth of her palm as he gazed at her with...Was that fondness? Were her eyes playing tricks on her or was his face turning pink too?
She squirmed underneath his stare. Why was she feeling so weird tonight?
Lumine couldn't stop a yawn from escaping her lips as she tried to fight off the wave of exhaustion that overcame her. Her whole body ached from their little skirmish earlier, on top of that she still couldn't make sense of all the emotions that swirled inside her head.
"Hey, stay with me."
Even though her mind screamed at her to move, her body struggled to do anything in her tired state. Her eyes were becoming heavier by the second as she struggled to stay awake. It didn't help that his voice sounded so calming, echoing in her ears until she was lulled to sleep.
~
Lumine opened her eyes as light illuminated her cozy room. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes, confused as to how she ended up here.
She wondered why she felt warmer than usual when a red cloth fell from her neck. She pulled it away, finally recognizing it as the scarf that Childe always wore.
He had brought her here. He actually went out of his way to make sure that she was safe despite how late it was. The thought warmed her heart a little more than she would have liked but she welcomed it all the same.
The girl looked around, wondering just where her flying companion was, cheeks warming as she took in the scent of his scarf.
It reminded her of an ocean breeze, salty and strong, with a hint of lemon as well. Wild and full of energy, just like him.
She shook her head out of her thoughts. It was too early for her to be so sappy.
Though try as she might, she couldn't seem to wipe off the wide smile on her face as she looked forward to the day ahead of her.
140 notes
·
View notes
Text
Steady As She Goes
Part 1
Fandom: The Witcher
Characters: Essi Daven/Lambert
Summary: Lambert begrudgingly insists on escorting Essi through Velen on her way to Novigrad. On their three days' journey, an unexpected bond is formed as the unlikely traveling companions encounter one another in new light. But will they get through unscathed?
Warnings: Lambert-typical language; pragmatic killing of a small animal (not a pet, for food); sexual assault (groping, not Lambert); reference to gore, head trauma; lethal self-defence; shock/trauma response, adrenaline crash; cliffhanger
A/N: A little while ago, I wrote a little letter to Lambert (you can read it here if you’re so inclined—mind the TW). I wanted to thank him, but more importantly, I wanted to offer him a place in my heart and my brain along with his brothers. This story started from a small prompt and has since turned into a 12+k proper-ass Story. This is part 1. Please join me in joyfully welcoming Lambert to the ranks with a wordcount he deserves with a character who has also become very dear to me.
MASTERLIST
@morethangeraskier
Essi eyed the back of her travelling companion with curiosity as they rode North toward Crow’s Perch: the tight swing of his hips still keeping tempo with his horse’s cadence; the sharp alertness at the nape of his neck as his eyes scanned their surroundings; the subtle forward tuck of his shoulders; and every muscle in his body fine-tuned and ready for action in the blink of an eye. Even his silence seemed to radiate a low buzz that tingled the air around him and made Essi wonder how many thoughts and calculations were crammed inside his head at once. She’d found it charming rather than off-putting how irritatedly he’d suggested accompanying her through Velen. There was a genuineness about his prickly outward demeanor—she felt like a detail worthy of practical consideration rather than a damsel on the road and she appreciated it. Better than most alternatives.
The fact was, Lambert had insisted. Not because she was attractive (yeah, yeah, big blue eyes, blonde hair, yadda-yadda, who cares), not because she seemed helpless (there was something keen behind those big blue eyes, and he’d known better than to ignore it), but because it seemed like the right thing to do. She’d explained she was an experienced traveller, knew the roads well, had good relationships with the innkeepers along the way. She would be fine, and didn’t want to take him out of his way.
“Sorry. Not happening. I’m coming with you.” Why? “Bandits.”
He would know. He’d spent the last few days doing nothing but clearing out Nekker nests and trashing bandit camps all over Velen, and the last thing he needed was the innocent blood of some wide-eyed woman-bard on his hands. “Back to fucking Novigrad,” he’d grumbled, turning his horse back North. He sighed heavily and waited for Essi to catch up, “Fuck me, I need a drink—alright, stay close on my tail for the next little while. We’re taking a shortcut.” As they rode, Lambert gave his new companion a rundown of “ The Rules”.
“No chit-chat, I’ve gotta keep focused, plus I don’t like excess noise. If I say ‘duck’ you duck. And I mean get the fuck down and stay silent. If I say run, run and don’t look back. I’ll find you later. Do your best not to panic or freeze up on me, I need you to listen carefully and do exactly as I say.”
Essi nodded earnestly beside him, her big blue eye fixed on his lips, taking in every word. He wasn’t used to actually being listened to. It was nice. A little off-putting the way she stared, but it was... nice.
On that topic, “One last thing,” he said, turning away to watch the road and check their sides, “Don’t get any ideas. I’m only doing this because no one deserves to die at the hands of heartless assholes except other heartless assholes. I am not Prince Charming, I am not a knight in shining armour, and I absolutely have no intentions of sweeping anyone off their feet. Capisce, bard?”
Essi smiled elusively, turning her own eyes back to the road. “Good. I’m no princess or damsel, and I’m hardly looking to be swept off my feet. As far as I’m concerned, we’re merely travelling in the same direction at the same pace.”
An agreeable grunt from Lambert signalled the end of the conversation and the beginning of “quiet time” which Essi did her best to honour. It was difficult at first. The poet was accustomed to conversation with strangers she met on the road—where they were headed, where they were coming from, how their journey had been. But Lambert was a witcher. Her usual litany of questions were either already answered or were none of her business to be asking in the first place. She was more or less quite content to travel in silence on an average day. But this was not an average day and her mind was bursting with curiosity, which made for a restless start to their journey.
“What’s your horse’s name?” Essi finally asked as they stopped briefly at a stream for water. She decided it was an innocent enough question with a short enough answer to risk breaking the rules.
Lambert gave her a disapproving look, a scolding reminder about ‘no chit-chat’ perched on the tip of his tongue. To her credit, she'd surpassed Lambert’s expectations for what he’d learned to expect from bards in the category of Not Talking. She’d only hummed a little and only then when she was lost in thought, large blue eye staring into the distance. She was an odd one, this woman, with her deep eyes that blinked too slowly sometimes. But his medallion was still and he didn’t have that gut feeling that usually told him when something was off. It was a harmless enough question, anyway…
“Royal,” he said, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. “Never met a noble that wasn’t a horse’s ass.”
Essi let out snicker, flashing her pearly teeth with an open grin. He was abrasive, sure, this witcher, but he was quickly proving himself to be animated and clever. She also believed him to be kind, despite his best efforts to prove otherwise. Whether or not Essi would earn a glimpse of his full capacity remained to be seen, but regardless she found his particular brand of panache refreshing.
"Yours?" he asked with a nod back at the small Icelandic gelding currently occupied with nibbling at some honeysuckle.
"Ginger," Essi replied, kneeling to take her turn at the stream, refilling her waterskin and drinking from her cupped hands. She stared at her saddlebag. “Wait here,” she said, striding to her horse and extracting a bundle of fabric.
“Whoa, hey, where’re you going?”
“It’s alright, I’ll only be a minute,” she assured him as she headed for a thicket.
“Nuh-uh, can’t let you just wander off and get yourself killed before we even reach the first signpost. What’s the plan, Goldilocks?”
“I’m just…”
“Just…?” Lambert gestured impatiently.
Essi squared her shoulders to him, “Going to change my dress. It’s too hot, and I would like to feel Just Right.”
Her sharp-witted comeback earned her a raised eyebrow. It was rather warm, the witcher had to admit. Early summer’s heat glared down with the midday sun, tempered only by an occasional cool breeze from the West. Lambert himself had pulled off his gauntlets, opened his jerkin, and tied a damp kerchief around his neck—witchers were less susceptible to heat stroke or hypothermia, but they were no less vulnerable to discomfort. It was only fair to allot his companion the same opportunity.
Lambert did a quick sweep of the area. Looks fine, sounds fine, smells fine… “Fine. Three minutes.”
He stood guard in front of the only gap in the dense bushes and waited for the sounds of rustling fabric to subside. After two and a half minutes, Essi emerged, hitching up her linen sleeves. She returned her former dress to her saddlebag and extracted two slender, ornately-carved whale bone sticks which she used to scoop her long, thick hair off the back of her neck and secure it in a twist.
Essi squatted back down beside the little brook and let the cool water trace over the tender undersides of her wrists, cooling her veins and refreshing her as the breeze fluttered the light fabric against her skin. Much better, she thought, glancing up at Lambert. This new garment was more loosely-fitting, he noticed, save for the cinch that tied around her waist.
She looked nice—comfortable. She looked comfortable. The dress looked comfortable.
Essi smiled up at Lambert as she stood, pressing her damp hands to the sides of her neck and ooooh it felt nice. She thought she caught the smallest hint of a smile as the breeze wafted a bit of honeysuckle their way. He still looked tired, but he seemed lighter. Something new had come into his rugged, sun-tanned face. Boyish, maybe?
“Better?” Lambert asked. He barely waited for her to answer before he continued, “Let’s get moving, I want to make tracks before we lose our light.” Essi mounted without protest and they were on their way again, quietly riding single-file until they reached an acceptable spot to settle down for the night. Lambert left the travelling poet to make camp while he hunted for some dinner. Essi went about setting things up. She dug a small fire pit with a trowel she kept on hand, gathered kindling, and stacked it neatly to the side where it could be easily reached. Finally, she dragged two logs from the underbrush and placed them on either side of the small hole. It was, perhaps, a little domestic, but the witcher still seemed tired, and he was going out of his way to give her a safe escort through dangerous territory. She’d wondered earlier about offering him some coin for his trouble, especially seeing as he was doubling back and wouldn’t have any opportunity for new contracts. Then again, she’d thought, perhaps that might insult him, make him feel like a hired bodyguard. In the end, the very least she could do was help make the experience a little nicer. She could ask about payment when they arrived in Novigrad.
A loud whistle caught Essi’s attention and she turned to find Lambert approaching with what looked like a squirming ball of fur. Upon closer inspection, it was a rather fat grey squirrel. “Dinner,” Lambert announced, looking pleased with himself. He held the creature toward her, “Care to do the honours?” He waggled his eyebrows facetiously. The witcher had always prided himself on his capacity to read people, to pick up on the little things that others might miss, second-guess, or excuse away. So far, after nearly five hours on the road with Essi Daven, Lambert still couldn’t get a clear read on her, and he decided (for whatever reason) the quickest way was to hand her a small animal.
Essi looked down at the wriggling creature cupped in Lambert’s hand, her eyes devoid of any specific expression. The poet could have been feeling anything: shock and horror, stony rage, remorse, awe… casual hesitation. In fact, the only feeling that wasn’t in the running was glee, and while Lambert hadn’t expected it in the first place, it was still a relief to know he wasn’t sharing his camp with a psychopath. But what was she going to do with it, this wide-eyed, innocent-faced, prim young traveler? Probably some tree-hugger shit like let it go.
Essi lowered her eyes to the wriggling rodent. It had been a while since she’d had to procure a live meal. She could have declined, easily, graciously, and her witcher companion would probably have shrugged and thought ‘no surprise there’. But she knew a schoolboy’s smart-assery when she saw it—the audacious victory behind his bright citrine eyes told her everything she needed to know about what he was expecting from this brief-but-loaded exchange. A shriek, a gasp in horror, perhaps a distressed stomp of her feet and fitful shake of her gilded head?
Essi reached a slow, dainty hand towards the squirrel, enveloping the soft, furry body as Lambert mentally prepared himself to go set another snare. There was no way this bard would ever be the type to—
Crunch.
—Lambert’s face went slack as the now-very-limp squirrel was handed back to him.
“I wouldn’t’ve thought a witcher would be so squeamish,” Essi remarked, casually wiping her hands on her skirt. Lambert said nothing but stared at her with a look of defeated befuddlement. She fired again, her sweet, melodic voice dripping with offhanded superiority, “Was that all? Or do you need me to clean it, too?” She blinked blankly once again as Lambert gaped, even less sure what to make of the young woman who had just snapped a rodent’s neck.
“No,” he answered petulantly. “I can do it.” He pulled his buck knife from its sheath on his thigh and went about his business. He was quiet and brief with her for the rest of the evening, and she was beginning to feel her own irritation mount. She had half a mind to bite back the next time he snapped at her for asking a simple question. Though, she admitted, he didn’t seem the type to back down easily. If she prodded at him, he might decide to leave her, and they were on a different route, completely unfamiliar to her. She’d be as good bear food without his directions.
No, she decided, it was best not to go digging and let whatever it was that was eating at him subside on its own. With no assurance of peaceful conversation and nothing but the crackling of their small fire to drown out the distant howls of wolves, Essi asked if she could play quietly on her lute—not too loudly, she promised, remembering what all she knew about a witcher’s senses, how sensitive they are. She’d asked in her usual straightforward way, her big blue eyes blinking slowly at him from across the fire. A simple request, and one that he couldn’t very well deny at the risk of being a Grade A Jackass.
Ordinarily, he would have jumped at the opportunity to claim that title, but Essi didn’t deserve that. Stranger or no, she’d been quiet and courteous, and had shown herself to be witty and good-humoured to boot, laughing at even his crassest jokes. So what could he do but bob his head from side to side and relent, reserving the right to end it if he deemed it necessary. He’d met enough bards in his time to know that his and their definitions of “quietly” were rarely on the same page of the dictionary.
But Essi kept her word, and took up a slow, gentle melody that drifted airily through the fading twilight. The witcher might even have called it pleasant, as the dusky grey shifted to darker and darker shades of nighttime. Lambert took out his whetstone and, after a few strokes along his dulled steel blade, found his mind wandering. The poet’s voice was captivating without demanding attention—sometimes clear and bright, but never piercing or imposing; occasionally breathy, but always expressive. His eye drifted to the instrument in her hands, no longer content to merely hear the music, but wanting to watch its creation. The taut catgut strings pressed divots into thick calluses on her left hand as she fingered the fretboard, her hands flexing no differently than if she were playing at full volume. But how was she strumming so quietly? Shit, gotta keep focused. Stay on task. The whetstone once again returned to steel as Lambert pulled his mind back from its daze.
It wasn’t long before curiosity got the better of him and he glanced back to the instrument cradled against the musician’s midriff. It looked delicate. Like something that could shatter if he held it wrong. Glancing to the hand nearest him, he could now see she was using the soft pad of her thumb to strum rather than her fingernails, which were long and carefully-shaped; well-honed in that sense, Lambert mused. He’d never paid attention to a musician this closely. They always drew crowds in the cities and experience had taught him that performers on the road were just as likely to pick a man’s pocket as they were to put on a show. But this was different. Essi wasn’t performing—on the contrary, she almost seemed to be in some kind of trance. She wasn’t even looking at her hands most of the time, and from the lyrics, Lambert began to wonder whether she was making it up as she went along. It was impressive, the way she knew her instrument so well. Despite his previous feelings of irritation at having had his ass handed to him, he couldn’t deny skill when he saw it, and Essi was clearly a master of her craft.
The whetstone had been silent for close to a full verse when Essi looked up, wondering if perhaps the witcher was growing tired of the noise. She found Lambert closely examining the hone of his blade, and so, thinking nothing of it, went back to her playing. It took him longer than usual to sharpen his swords. Longer still to replenish his potions and oils. He should’ve made quick work of it. Would have, too, if it wasn’t for the fact that he found the music so… pleasant. It was difficult to meditate. Not because he couldn’t relax, but because he didn’t want to stop listening. He just—there was something about… It didn’t matter. It wasn’t important. Get the shit together for tomorrow, go to bed, get up, and hope you don’t have any trouble on the road.
Lambert laid out his bed roll and the music silenced abruptly. “Oh, are you turning in? I’ll stop now,” Essi gently lay down her lute next to her saddle bags and started to get her own sleeping mat. It was thin, Lambert noticed, as he watched her set up. His long, tired body stretched out, hands beneath his head, as he stared up through the dense oak canopy above them.
“Thank you,” Essi said, now standing by his head.
Lambert craned his neck to try and see her properly and resorted to propping up on an elbow. “Yeah? What for?”
“For finding us food and for letting me play a little,” she said with that same matter-of-factness that made Lambert feel both comfortable and uneasy.
“Yeah, well,” Lambert flopped back down on his bedroll, “Don’t worry about it. Get some sleep, we gotta keep moving in the morning. I don’t want to be out here longer than we have to.” He waved a dismissive hand in Essi’s direction, and she took that as her cue to leave him alone and be quiet.
“Goodnight, Lambert,” she murmured softly before turning and crossing back to the other side of the fire. She settled under her blankets and, after some drawn-out negotiations with a few poorly-located lumps in the ground, she was able to lie still and close her eyes. The insides of her eyelids flickered orange with the fire as it danced beside her. Before sleep took her, she heard a muffled voice from across the flames.
“G’night, Essi.” ---- Essi rose early, but not early enough for her travelling companion. The fire had already been doused and buried, and Lambert’s things were all neatly packed away and ready to be loaded onto Royal. Both horses were still hitched, and sleepily nibbling on some dewy crabgrass as the grey mists of early morning lingered. The sun hadn’t risen high enough yet to burn away the moisture, and Essi bundled her blanket around her shoulders against the chill. Lambert, she presumed, was off doing something witcher-y—taking a leak more like, she wagered as her own bladder complained. The moment he returned, Essi shot up from her log and headed into the trees.
“Just where do you think yo—”
“I have to piss!” she called back over her shoulder as she traipsed into the dense wood.
“Heh, good morning to you, too!” Lambert scrubbed his hand through his scruffy brown hair and ambled back to the fireside to begin packing and saddling the horse. When he arrived, he saw Essi’s things were also neatly packed away and stacked by her own mount. He offered a brief nod of approval before stowing his things, making quick work of the well-practiced process. By the time Essi returned, not only was Royal fully-prepared and Lambert armed and armoured, but Ginger was also mostly packed with the exception of one bag and the lute, which was cradled in the witcher’s hands as he crouched near the ground. She paused a little distance away and waited, observing as she listened to the faint sound of strings being delicately plucked.
Lambert looked up, embarrassed. “I uh… sorry.”
“What for?”
Lambert stood carefully as Essi approached and dropped his gaze, holding out the fragile instrument for it to be angrily snatched back. The musician paused for a moment, observing this gesture of cowed humility. It was a habit, she suspected, born from decades of harsh punishment without explanation, frivolous harm without justification. Essi could sense the shame as it rolled off his shoulders, the prickly-heat of defense building under his skin. She took the lute and a swell of sadness washed through at the stark evidence of the world’s cruelty—that a man should be ashamed for a little harmless curiosity only told one story: pleasure’s not for you.
Lambert looked up to find Essi still standing there, staring at the lute in her hands. “Did… did I…?” he pointed to the instrument.
“No,” she smiled softly, “not at all. And I’m not bothered that you looked at it. If you like, you can look at it again. I can even show you a chord or two?”
“Ah,” the witcher scratched the top of his head, “that’s okay. It’s, uh… I mean it seems like it’s good—well-made. Never seen one up-close like that.” There was a lull in conversation as Lambert ran out of things to say. But Essi just stood where she was, smiling her little enigmatic smile and blinking at him. He turned back to the horses, and motioned for Essi to do the same, “I, um, packed up your stuff, well most of it.”
Essi took the hint and followed suit, strapping the few remaining things to Ginger before mounting. After a brief survey of the area to make sure they hadn’t forgotten anything, the two were off, Essi following behind as Lambert continued on his shortcut through what mainly seemed to be wilderness for the first several miles. They finally emerged at a small footpath, though, and Essi finally got her bearings. They were back in familiar territory, at least for the time being, and it was proving to be a beautiful morning. Even Lambert seemed to be in a better mood, offering her things to eat along the way, and even starting his own little snippets of conversation.
It was an hour or so after midday that Lambert’s ears pricked at the sound of hooves in the distance. Could be soldiers, could be travellers… could be bandits. After a few minutes, they seemed to fade, and the witcher relaxed a little as the path took them into a wooded area by yet another stream, though this one was deep and flowing quickly. Better keep my ears sharp, Lambert thought as they rode along. Water’s too loud. Can’t hear for shit. They stopped next to the water to stretch their legs and replenish their drinking vessels again. The rest of the journey would take them mostly through high ground without much shade, and swampland. Any water they wanted to have with them, it was now or never until they reached Novigrad the next day.
Lambert relieved himself against a nearby tree while Essi washed her face and, having determined the coast was clear, gave her the go-ahead to have a squat in the underbrush. He was still on the alert. It wasn’t a high-traffic area, so in theory bandits would be less interested in diverting from the main road. On the other hand, a less-trafficked area meant less chance of a hideout being discovered. But it smelled okay, although the wind was coming across the water. And it sounded okay, although the water was so damn loud. And things looked okay, aside from the fact that there was only so far even a witcher could see without trees getting in the way.
A twig snapped in the woods behind him and the hairs on the back of his neck bristled, his hand mechanically finding the grip of his steel sword. He chanced a glance back into the woods—Fuck it, what’s the point of modesty if you’re dead? Another twig, this time from another location beyond the line of trees. There was a flash of golden hair as Essi finished her business and stood up, straightening her skirt. She turned to Lambert, ready to scold him for looking until she saw his hand on his sword. Somewhere in the near-distance, a horse whickered. The witcher lifted his finger to his lips and the poet stood stock-still, her hand slowly reaching for the small dagger at her waist as her heart beat heavily in her chest. Something rustled to Lambert’s left, and he turned, stepping quietly as he stalked in the general direction of the sound. It wasn’t wolves or Endregas, they were too high for Drowners, too woodsy for Nekkers.
Essi watched with interest as the witcher’s body went on full alert, his senses sharpening, his posture shifting, muscles coiling to accommodate any number of reflexes. She scanned the trees in front of them then looked back out to the road, marking the location of her horse in the event Lambert told her to run. A large horse came to a standstill beyond the edge of the woods somewhere and Lambert froze, listening carefully for sounds of footfalls or rustling clothing.The gears started to click a little faster as Lambert entertained the possibility they were being surrounded. He flicked his left hand at Essi in the direction of the road: get out of the woods. Quietly. Without a second thought, she began to carefully make her way back to the road as silently as she could, Lambert following, his eyes still searching.
Just as Essi’s feet met the smooth dirt path, a beefy arm wrapped tightly around her waist. But the brute was foolish enough not to cover her mouth first, and Essi let loose a loud, powerful scream that a witcher would have heard at least a mile away. Lambert abandoned his methodical retreat from the woods and came crashing onto the path, fixing his eye dangerously on his target as he circled his sword around his wrist. The witcher felt a rush of angry heat flare under his skin at the sight of Essi kicking and clawing in the bandit’s sweaty grip. He was large, reeked of booze and the funk of cured meat. Essi fought the urge to gag at the stench of his clothes as she did her best to keep her mind sharp, or else risk becoming collateral damage. Her best bet: keep her eyes on Lambert.
“Hands off the bard and you might keep your head,” the witcher barked as he approached. “Can’t make any promises about your other appendages, though.” He wanted to lunge, run him through, gut him and leave him to the wargs... but it was too risky. He was holding Essi too tightly, and there was no guarantee he wouldn’t snap her neck if Lambert took a wrong step. To make matters worse, the trees were full of footsteps. Eight, maybe ten men. Hmmm.
“Oh-ho-ho, look what we got, lads!” the bandit called to his approaching comrades as they began to filter out from the woods. “Your plaything still any good, witcher? Or have you ruined the fun for the rest of us?” The man grasped roughly at Essi’s breasts and Lambert felt his stomach drop as her eyes met his. He knew the look that was waiting for him behind those eyes, that broken terrified look of “I trusted you.” But the look never came. Those big beautiful blue eyes were steely and determined in spite of the fear he knew was churning in the background and he felt a thrill of triumph. Essi was still with him in whatever this was about to turn into. Not only that, she was thinking something, devising a plan. Lambert hoped to Gods it wasn’t something stupid. What is it, Essi? What are you thinking?
As if in answer to his question, Essi tilted her head, seductively baring her neck to her aggressor as Lambert’s options quickly decreased, the other bandits starting to close in, clearly in no rush, confident that they could easily take one man even if he did have two swords on his back and eyes like a cat. Sure boys, that’s going to go real well for you. He did a quick circle, taking stock of their exact locations before turning back to Essi, watching carefully as her hand traced up the outside of the bandit’s right leg. Yes, Essi, come on, come on, come on…
The man rasped something foul in her ear, but all she could hear was the sound of her ears ringing and her own heart beating out of her chest as she did her best to focus on the task at hand. She barely knew what she was doing, but the witcher was watching her every move intently, and that somehow made whatever she was about to do feel possible. She felt her thumb brush the cool handle of her dagger, and Lambert nodded almost imperceptibly. Do it.
With a swift, fluid movement, she plunged the short blade into the man’s side and he roared in pain as his compatriots mulled around in confusion, their fisstech-addled minds still catching up. Lambert took the opportunity and sliced through the three nearest him with swift, clean strokes, focusing back in on Essi just in time to see her take a right hook to the face. She fell to the ground and blinked heavily, her vision blurry and head spinning. Her fingers found a large rock as a pair of meaty hands grabbed her legs, pulling her across the rough dirt road. She scrambled and turned, bringing the heavy rock squarely to the side of the man’s head with a sickening crack. He fell limply to the ground as the poet found her way to shaky legs, the makeshift weapon falling limply from her hand.
From out of the chaos of grunts and screams and clanging weapons, Essi heard her name, “GET OUT, GO, GO!” It was Lambert. Without a second thought she stumbled the short distance to Ginger and mounted, bolting across the river and holding on for dear life. She rode until the horse slowed, until she wasn’t sure where she was or whether the river she’d stopped beside was the same river or a different one. Essi dismounted and only then noticed that her hands were shaking. Interesting, she thought, as she was overcome with trembling and heaving sobs. I suppose this is what they mean when they say ‘fear catches us later’. She sat on a boulder and listened to the clear water, waiting for Lambert to find her.
#Essi Daven/Lambert#Lambert/Essi#rarepair#thank you Lambert#and I'm sorry#more to come!#Stay tuned#The witcher#Lambert#Essi Daven#Bardcore: dark mode
37 notes
·
View notes
Text
bedrest.
Aaron Hotchner x Female Reader
a/n: this was a cute little idea i had while i was on rest orders for my shitty hip. reader’s pregnant here (like, very pregnant), and its fluffy as hell rating/words: teen / 965 no warnings apply!
AO3 | Masterlist | Requests Open!
+++
“Hi, honey!” A grin spread across your face as you answered the phone.
“What did the doctor say?” Hotch asked, without preamble. You could hear him getting into the car, linking you in to the Bluetooth. He’d been out on a case for a few days and called you every hour, or at least that’s what it felt like.
“Bedrest,” you sighed, reclining on the couch in the living room. “Who’s all in the car?”
You heard laughter before Aaron spoke again. “I’ve got Morgan, Prentiss, and JJ.”
You smile into the phone. “Hey, guys! Miss you like crazy.” A chorus of hellos followed.
“Are you going insane yet?” JJ’s voice came through clearly, and you could almost see her leaning on the median from the backseat.
“Completely. And now I can’t even go for my walks.”
“Any particular reason for the bedrest?” Aaron’s question was casual, but you knew the whole thing made him more than a little anxious. He’d done the same thing with Haley and was doing his best to take it one day at a time.
“Doc wants me to keep an eye on my blood pressure, and he may or may not have implied that this baby will be massive, and I should rest while I can. I feel like a whale, and your spawn keeps sticking her feet in my ribs.” You said the last part through a laugh.
The upside to the belly, though, was having a table for everything all the time. You had a pop-tart resting there as you were on the phone. The convenience couldn’t be overstated, even when Baby Girl Hotchner decided to kick your snacks off you and onto the couch whenever she pleased.
Hotch laughed, and you smiled at the rare treat. “We’re wrapping up here, should be done in a day or two.”
“Sounds good, my love. Give everyone else my best, and please be safe.”
“Always!” JJ said in harmony with Emily’s “You know it!”
Aaron chimed in a beat later. “Of course, sweetheart.”
“We love you, beautiful!”
That drew another smile from you. “Love you too, Derek.”
+++
You were asleep when Hotch finally got home two nights later. He toed off his shoes and put his gun back beside yours in the safe as quietly as he could, hanging his suit jacket on the back of one of the dining room chairs.
He watched you sleep for a minute, sitting up on the couch, feet up on the coffee table and crossed at the ankles, wrapped in a blanket with a hand resting lightly on your belly. Walking back to you, he knelt, tucking hair behind your ear.
“Aaron?” You woke a little, your awareness blurred by sleep. You reached for his wrist, and he laced your fingers with his.
“Yeah,” he said in a whisper. He kissed your forehead and you hummed, leaning into his touch. “How are you feeling?”
You groaned, stretching your arms above your head and flexing your toes. “Huge.”
He smiled with one side of his mouth, a small laugh leaving his nose. “Besides that.”
“Fine. Tired. I haven’t been dizzy all day, which is nice.”
He stood and offered you a hand. “Ready for bed?”
You followed suit, slowly, taking his hand to steady you. In your final month of pregnancy, your balance was shit. “Only if we fool around first.”
He shook his head, laughing. “You’re insufferable, you know that?”
“Can’t help it.” You shrugged. “My husband happens to be an incredibly sexy federal agent and being out of the field has me all amped up. How am I to resist?” You turned and slid your hands up his arms, all the way to the nape of his neck. With a tug, you brought his mouth down to yours.
Your only focus then was his hands on your back, pulling you as close as your belly would allow, the way his breath felt fanning against your face, the taste of him, the smell of the plane – all of it so distinctly Aaron. He kissed you with abandon, like a dying man. With his attitude, you wondered how bad the case really was.
You both pulled back, breathing heavily.
“Sorry,” he said, and you tugged on his hair sharply – a reprimand. He hummed low in his chest.
“Don’t be sorry.”
“You’re supposed to be resting,” he said, and it almost sounded like a whine.
You raised your eyebrows. “Do my tax dollars pay for federal agents who whine at their wives?”
He collapsed into the crook between your neck and shoulders with a groan. “It’s been so long and now you’re on bedrest.” His hands wandered to the curve of your back and then around to your ass. You laughed quietly, still mindful of your stepson sleeping down the hall.
Your hands carded through his thick dark hair, disrupting the pomade. You pulled his head from your neck and turned him toward the bedroom with a playful shove of his shoulder. “Well, consider this a raincheck. You can do whatever you want to me, with me, around me, whatever, as soon as I’m cleared after she,” you pointed at your belly, “is out of here.”
You lowered yourself into bed and pulled the covers around you. Between his chronic blanket theft and your chronic overheating, they’d all end up on his side by the morning anyway. You settled in, tucking your big pregnancy pillow between your knees and slipping your arm underneath. This thing saved your life (and your back) on a nightly basis.
“You stay away from me, Hotchner,” you warned as he dropped in next to you.
His tone was dripping with sarcasm when he replied. “Oh, sure. I’ll be on my best behavior.”
“You better.”
Nevertheless, he curled up flush behind you, his arm draped protectively over your middle. You laced your fingers through his.
“I love you so much. I’m always glad when you come home safe to me.”
He somehow managed to press closer to you, dropping a kiss to your shoulder. “I love you both.”
tagging: @arganfics @quillvine @stxrryspencer @agenthotchner @hurricanejjareau @fics-ilike @octothorpetopus @ange-must-die @ughitsbaby @rousethemouse @criminalsmarts @dr-reid-ismyspiritanimal @icantswimhalp @genevievedarcygranger @ssaic-jareau @good-heavens-chris-evans
#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner imagine#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds x reader#hotch x reader#aaron hotchner#hotch#criminal minds fanfiction#tali writes fanfiction
523 notes
·
View notes
Text
March 16, 2021: Legend (1985) (Part One)
Hi, Tim Curry. How are you doing today?
Yeah, that tracks. Been a while, always good to see you. Man, actually, when is the last time I saw you? Clone Wars? I think so, although I don’t know if that really counts. I think, in person, it was...oof, Criminal Minds in 2012?
Yeah, dude, you were FUCKING TERRIFYING, HOLY SHIT. I feel like people don’t talk about that performance as much, but you were goddamn amazing, buddy. Sorry I didn’t open with this, but...you were my childhood, Ti. Like, from Clue to The Wild Thornberrys to Muppet Treasure Goddamn Island GOD I LOVE YOU IN THAT MOVIE TOO
Amazing. And let’s not forget Ferngully, of course. Look...I love you, OK? You’re beautiful. And I know that recently, you’ve been through a lot of health struggles, and I wish you the absolute best, I sincerely do. You’re the best, man. Hang in there.
Actually, while I have you...settle a bet for me, I’ve got it with myself. Have I...have I already seen this movie? Because I feel like I might have, but I don’t think so. It’s like the Mandela effect, y’know? I mean, if I’d seen it before...would I not remember you in this get-up?
I mean...come ON, RIGHT? I know FOR A FACT that I’ve attempted to watch this movie with friends before, and that didn’t happen. Then, I tried to watch it on my own, and that didn’t pan out because I’m pretty sure I fell asleep after 15 minutes. It had been a long day, I’m sorry. But...I don’t get it, Tim Curry? What the hell happened?
Well...whatever. I guess we’re going to take care of this ONCE AND FOR ALL. Now, who directed this movie?
Oh shit, REALLY? RIDLEY SCOTT! Kick-ass, he did Alien, and this -
And then this -
OOH, and this!
Oh, and we can’t forget this!
And also this!
And...and this...
...And this...
Oh. Fuck, and this.
...
OH GOD STOP I FORGOT ABOUT 1492
...OK, this could either be a very good movie, or a very VERY bad one. I mean...it’s got Tim Curry in it, so it can’t be that bad? And hey, Scott was on a hotstreak at the time, right? What could go wrong? Let’s do this!
SPOILERS AHEADOH FUCK IS THAT TOM CRUISE
Recap (1/2)
...Ahem. Um. OK. Maybe I imagined that image, or it’s from a different movie. Cool. Let’s keep going, nothing to see here.
The opening text scroll tells us that once, long ago, before time was even a concept, the world was shrouded in darkness. But Darkness hid from the light, which brought to the world laughter, love, and...unicorns. Yeah, really. Unicorns harbor the Light in their souls, as the most mytsical of all creatures. They’re safe from Darkness, and can only be found by a pure-hearted mortal, like Jack, a denizen of the forest. He is loved by Lily, and both believe only in goodness. But not for long, as a struggle for the balance between Darkness and Light is about to commence, and in that struggle will be born...Legend (1985), dir. Ridley Scott.
As the opening credits roll and confirm that Tom Cruise is in fact in this movie, I take a brief moment to vomit lightly.
At night, walking through the forest, there is a creature with some...bad-ass makeup and costume design GODDAMN. Like, yeah, that category’s already looking good. Anyway, the creature goes through the forest, and finds a den of fire and torture, all lorded over by a horned man, who speaks Mother Night, asking for her protection.
This is Darkness (Tim Curry), and...fuck me, holy shit, I GET it. Like, this dude began an entire movement and aethestic, and it makes a fuckton of sense. THis dude must have given birth to, like 10,000 goth children, goddamn. Anyway, he commands his goblin henchman Blix (Alice Playten) to find a unicorn and kill it, and to bring its horn back to him. Blix, the rhyming cretin, asks how to find them. And Darkness answers with the perfect lure: innocence.
That innocence is symbolized by Princess Lily (Mia Sara), a maiden cavorting happily about the wood, without a care in the goddamn world. She visits her friend Nell (Tina Martin), and briefly has a vision of winter in the cottage. Nell notes that it’s time for her to grow up a bit, but Lily’s only concerned with finding her sweetheart, Jack.
And Jack is...well, Jack o’ the Green (Tom Cruise) is a young man who lives in the forest, with his animal friends. An innocent himself, he’s basically Peter Pan, with Lily playing his Wendy. Except, well, they’re not THAT innocent, because they, like, IMMEDIATELY make out on the forest floor. Which has to be uncomfortable, real goddamn talk.
Jack teaches Lily to speak with the birds, then takes her to see something wonderful and rare. All the while, they’re being followed by Blix, who believes that their innocence will attract the mystical unicorns. And, uh, yeah, Blix is entirely correct about that, because here they come! And they’re making whale noises?
Apparently, as long as unicorns roam the Earth, evil can never harm the pure of heart. They express only love and laughter, and dark thoughts are unknown to them. Which Lily takes as an opportunity to go hang out with them, despite Jack’s urgings.
But the unicorns seem receptive to her, to Jack’s...frustration? He just kinda leaves her behind for some reason. And Blix takes the opportunity to hit one of the unicorns with a poison dart, causing them to be startled and storm off. Lily flees into the forest, and is immediately scolded by Jack, saying that what she did is forbidden by magic forest law. OK. She’s as confused about that as I am, but she still apologizes to him.
The two kiss, and Lily makes a promise to him and the universe, I guess, and says that whomever finds her ring will have the right to marry her. She throws it, and Jack IMMEDIATELY JUMPS OFF A CLIFF AFTER IT GODDAMN MY MAN! Lily screams hysterically after him for...some reason?
However, this isn’t great timing, because Blix and the goblins have caught up to the poisoned unicorn, and they cut off its horn, immediately plunging the forest into a fierce winter, similar to what Lily saw in her vision. Jack, in the river looking for the ring, is trapped underwater, beneath ice. By the time he breaks out, Lily’s already run away, to Nell’s place. Nell is frozen solid for some reason, and the goblins are also coming off after Lily for...some reason.
Lily hides, as Blix and his two companions Pox (Peter O’Farrell) and Blunder (Kiran Shah) exposit the whole thing so that Lily’s caught up on her fault in all of this, and once they leave, she promises to make it right. No idea how she’s gonna do that, but sure.
Jack, meanwhile has collapsed in the woods and snow. He’s woken up by a spirit of the forest named Honeythorn Gump (David Bennent), who is...interesting. He asks Jack what in the FUCK happened, and Jack admits that Lily, a mortal, touched a unicorn, which is apparently the ultimate no-no. Gump’s pissed, but the ACTUAL SECOND that Jack says that it was for love, Gump’s just...totally cool with it? They have a drink with Brown Tom (Cork Hubbert), and agree to help him find Lily...like, immediately.
They quickly find the dead unicorn, and yeah, the unicorn is FUCKING DEAD after losing its horn, and its mate shows up to mourn. Jack and Gump mourn with the magical creature, which looks REALLY BIG for a horse, Jesus. She stays with her fallen mate, and Jack goes back to the group, delivering the news that they’re cursed? No idea where that came from.
To lift the curse and get the horn back, they must find a champion bold in heart and spirit. Gump IMMEDIATELY nominates Jack, and takes him to some cave where he can find weapons and armor. He’s guided by Oona (Annabelle Lanyon), a fairy who is LITERALLY NAVI FROM ZELDA, I CANNOT STRESS THAT ENOUGH
Oona reveals her true form to him secretly, then notes that she could be anything he wants her to be, even his heart’s desire. COMIN’ ON A LITTLE STRONG THERE OONA. Anyway, in the vault of golden weapons and armor and...gold, Jack grabs a sword.
Meanwhile, Lily follows Blix and his group, where Blix uses the magic of the Unicorn Horn (or the Alicorn) to demonstrate his newly found prowess. But as he’s claiming to take over Darkness’ kingdom. Just then, Darkness shows up and claims the Horn for himself, and kills Blunder when he talks back. Darkness asks whether or not the Unicorns are both dead, and reveals that his power will not be complete until the female Unicorn is also dead.
Lily runs off and makes her way back to the Unicorn and Brown Tom, and warns them of the Goblin’s approach to kill the Mare. Brown Tom, who I think is either a leprechaun or a brownie, fends the Goblins off, while Lily and the Mare...DON’T RUN? FUCKING RUN YOU ASSHOLES!
Tom gets shot by an arrow...in the hat. He immediately falls dead, despite being totally fine, the dick. And Lily and the mare are captured, BECAUSE THEY DIDN’T FUCKING RUN WHEN THEY SHOULD’VE. Jack, Gump, and the leprechaun/gnome/brownie/halfling Screwball (Billy Barty) come to “rescue” him. He tells them that Lily’s alive, and Gump takes Jack to the Great Tree for the next step, accompanied by Screwball and Tom. There, they find...
WOW. THAT SHIT IS COOL. This is Meg Mucklebone *Robert Picardo), and this thing is absolutely my favorite thing in the movie so far...AND THEN JACK KILLS HER IMMEDIATELY. JAAAAAAACK, WHAT THE HELL, she was really cool. Goddamn it.
The group gets to the great tree, then falls into an underground prison, where Blunder is also held. The group is NOT where they want to be, right in Darkness’ lair. Nice job, Gump. In the prison, the guys, now joined by fellow brownie/dwarf/gnome thing Blunder, hide from one of Darkness’ men, as he takes Blunder away to the torture table.
Stuck in the cell, Jack suggests that Oona go and get the keys. However, her ability to transform into a humanoid form was a secret between her and Jack, and she’s upset by him revealing it. Gump’s also upset by the secret in and of itself, but she defends that her secrets are hers to keep. You tell him, Oona!
She then says that she’ll only do what Jack wants if he kisses her, GODDAMN IT OONA. NOW IS NOT THE TIE TO GO ALL TINKERBELL IN HOOK! He gives her a little peck, but she transforms into Lily to make him give her a real kiss, dear lord that is CREEPY, OONA! Jack almost kisses her, but refuses at the last second. He notes that human hearts can’t be won over that way, which greatly upsets Oona. Still, she ends up getting the keys for them regardless, and sets them free.
And at this point, we are halfway through, so FUCK IT. PART TWO! See you there.
#Legend#legend 1985#legend film#ridley scott#tom cruise#jack o' the green#jack o the green#mia sara#tim curry#darkness#lord darkness#david bennent#honeythorn gump#alice playten#blix#billy barty#cork hubbert#annabelle lanyon#fantasy march#fantasy film#fantasy genre#user365#365 movie challenge#365 movies 365 days#365 Days 365 Movies#365 movies a year#mygifs#my gifs#usercoppola#useramyc
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
I did this as a three part series, because I just can’t get enough Beifong in my life and thinking about them brings me immense joy.
Here’s the first two:
And last but not least:
The Beifong family is the best thing that ever happened to Avatar and quite possibly my life. The thing I love most about them, though, is how human they are. They are the epitome of what happens when life is messy and emotions are raw and people do stupid things and life doesn’t go as expected. Each and every one of them is batshit crazy, and I love them for it. Here’s my take on the illustrious Beifongs. Last is Su.
Suyin: An Analysis
Oh, Su. What can I say? Su is just as complicated as the rest of the Beifongs. Su is no saint but neither is she a devil. Su is human, and that’s about all there is to it.
Su obviously took her mother’s absence in a very different direction. I would imagine that both Toph and Lin were very excited to welcome Su. However, very shortly Lin is old enough and probably mature enough to watch her, which leaves Toph free to be Chief, which means Su is shortchanged in her time with her mom. I don’t think Toph sat them down one day and was like ok girls I’m going to be spending more time at work so Lin you’re in charge. I think she just slowly wasn’t really needed at home (at least not in a way that computed in her mind) and she just kind of drifted away.
Well if I’m Su and my big sister starts bossing me around I’m like ok no that’s not happening, and she obviously started to resist it. However, saying “I was more of a rebel” is like saying “that ghost pepper is a little spicy”. Like Su, honey, there’s a rebel and there’s criminal enterprise. It’s not the same thing, and even later in life she obviously hasn’t made that connection.
Whether because of her absence, or because she perhaps saw herself in Su, Toph turned a blind eye (pardon the pun). It’s also obvious that Toph isn’t even aware of half the stuff that goes on. And because she’s clueless, Toph probably doesn’t believe Lin when she tells her. Whatever the case, Su is that kid who could do anything or say anything and get away with it, while Big Sister probably sneezes wrong and everyone glares at them, because they’re older and supposed to be more mature. Lin at this point is beyond frustrated with Su.
So here we go, Su steps out of the car and I’m sure Lin is feeling a lot of things. Probably like she failed her little sister, angry because WTF Su, and maybe even a little vindicated. Now Toph will HAVE to pay attention. Su is the dumbest bitch this side of Whale Tail Island, however, and actually thinks that Lin is going to let her walk away. Well of course she’s not, duh. But Su is so full of anger and frustration, that she lashes out.
When I say Su is full of anger and frustration, I mean that as much as Lin kept a lid on it, Su did, too. Su had less time with Toph at home than Lin did, which wasn’t fair. Su had to put up with Lin mothering her, when she wasn’t actually her mother and only a few years older than her. Su had very little direction in her life, from anyone. Su was obviously very impressionable. Those two idiots she was with probably could have convinced her to commit Grand Theft Auto, and it wouldn’t have taken much. If things hadn’t gone down the way they did, Su probably would have ended up dead or as a true villain.
Hm, excuse me while I jot down a story idea.
Anyways, my point is, Su had just as many feelings as Lin, her bottle just looked very different. So in a moment of pure anger she lashes out when Lin tries to arrest her. I believe she regretted it, and here’s why: she’s in Toph’s office with Lin. Had Su been completely devoid of any feeling, she would have run away and never looked back, or at least tried to rationalize it. Toph is obviously fully aware of what went down; she asks both of them what they were thinking, so even though Su’s not saying sorry she’s not sitting there trying to deny it. She knows she got caught. She may not be sorry, but she’s still sitting there in the office. Frankly I give her points for that. Not many, but a few.
If I’m Su, I know I did wrong but I don’t care. So I love to hear Toph ask Lin what she was thinking, too. I’m like ha! Yeah, you tear up that report, Mom! But wait, I have to leave the city? Holy shit, did not see that coming! So now the mom who I didn’t have much time with in the first place and has been largely absent is sending me away to my grandparents (and who knows how well she knew them) where only the Spirits know what’s going to happen then. Well this sucks. Not an excuse for her shitty behavior but it still sucked for her.
So then she goes traipsing around the world to prove to herself she is outside the realm of rules. She finally settles down with Bataar Sr and builds Zaofu. Her ideals still seem to be based on the idea of life without limits, which fits her history. She seems more like someone who creates opportunities than someone who makes a lot of rules. Aiwei calls her the matriarch so she’s not exactly in a position of true political power, at least not in name.
I truly believe Bataar loves Su and that he is a good husband and father. I also believe that for the most part, Su is a good mom. Here’s why: her kids are quite well-adjusted. Except for Bataar Jr who seems to have inherited her impressionable nature. But Wing and Wei are cool and obviously very accomplished, Opal is rather prissy but she does have some good qualities, and Huan is very passionate about his banana art. They’re kind of a fun family. Su tells Korra that she always wished Lin were a part of her life, and I believe her. I really think Su misses her big sister. She and Lin are alike in that what they want most is their family to be intact.
After the fall of the Earth Queen, Su says she doesn’t want to impose her ideals on the nation. Again, she doesn’t like rules, so she's not going to go around telling everyone else what to do. I don’t agree with that decision but it is consistent with her character. Her decision to try and assassinate Kuvira I believe comes from a desire to protect those around her, anger at Kuvira for betraying her and taking her son away from her, and guilt because it was her inaction that precipitated the whole thing in the first place. It’s a stupid ass decision, and is an emotional one. Su seems to be ruled by her emotions, from the first time we see her until the end of the series, which is interesting because she does keep her cool most of the time. Emotional people are like that, though. I’m ok until you make me mad or feel something and now I have to do something about it. Oftentimes they resent the person who made them feel it, and blame them. Su definitely falls into that category. Because she is so governed by her emotions, she tends to rush headlong into things without seeing the long game, or the risks. When she gets caught, she knows she messed up. But now Korra has to come and save her, Su knowing full well she’s not ready. But Korra tries anyways because even though Su is incredibly stupid and selfish, she is a friend and they still care about her. Anyone who watches Dragons Race to the Edge, it reminds me of Snotlout, when Astrid says he’s a muttonhead, but he’s their muttonhead. For better or worse, Su has become one of them.
Quite frankly, I like Su. I think her biggest faults are that she tends to follow her emotions which gets her into trouble and she doesn’t really like to acknowledge when she’s wrong, even though she definitely knows she is. Neither of those things are traits that I would consider unforgivable. I don’t think she and I would be bosom buddies but she is an interesting person. I would be endlessly frustrated with her and probably tell her I told you so a lot. But Su is there when it counts. She defeats P’li and helps defeat Kuvira. She helps save Korra and teaches her metal bending, and she is quite cheerful. As far as Lin forgiving her I feel like that was more for Lin than Su, just like forgiveness is for everyone. For anyone who says Lin deserves better, keep in mind this is her little sister who she loves very much. There’s history there and families are messy and complicated and I for one trust Lin. Lin also doesn’t just jump in, she tells Su she just won’t show up and attack her. They only become more involved because that’s how things played out. Lin is very sincere when she tells Su that she loves her, and it almost seems like the first time Lin has said those words out loud, based on Su’s expression.
Su may not have known or believed it before that. Right or wrong, good or bad, Su is family, and families are stupid and crazy. Like I said before, Su is no saint, but she’s no devil either. She makes shitty decisions and yes people have to keep coming to her rescue, but I think her heart is in the right place. I really do.
#avatar#legend of korra#lin beifong#toph beiphong#suyin beifong#the beifongs#beifong sisters#beifong family#chief beifong#lok suyin#lok lin#lok toph#character analysis#the legend of korra#here you go
17 notes
·
View notes