#what many love him for (his care and protectiveness towards his little brother) is intrinsically tied to said abuse and parentification

[kohlirahul]

pov you're jonathan byers

older than i am – lennon stella // welcome to the family – watsky // shoreline – broder daniel // family line – conan gray // older than i am – lennon stella // me and my friends are lonely – matt maeson

[redbleedingrose]

Hiya!

So sunday was my bday - and i was wondering if you had any sort of head cannons about Az - idk if this makes sense - like being posessive with a slightly insecure reader. Like say they are at a resturant or something and some is being rude to you and Az is just like 'Nah thats my girl' type vibe yk?

Sorry for always rambling.

Always much love and support through the days!

🍸

Hello my lovely devoted reader 🍸!!!

I am so sorry for the late reply! I hope you had the most amazing birthday!!

And please let me know what you think, hopefully you liked this and it met your expectations! 

Okay, so let's be so clear, Azriel is the most protective of the bat boys towards his mate. Like Cassian is always showing off his girl, and Rhys doesn't even feel the need to be protective because first off, he knows that they can take care of themselves and take anyone down, but also because he is so freaking cocky, he just knows that no one would be able to steal them away.

But Az?? Azriel is a protective to the max. He always has been and he always will be. Part of that comes from his Illyrian roots, and the intrinsic need to protect you. But also, he is secretly fearful that you would find someone else who is better than him. Because in his mind, he doesn't deserve someone as perfect as you. He doesn't deserve someone as beautiful, kind, elegant, funny, and intelligent as you. Another part of his protectiveness stems from the fact that you are his mate. His. The spymaster of the night court. Darkness incarnate. He has made many enemies throughout his five centuries of living. Enemies that would do just about anything to see his downfall, even if it means hurting an innocent female, especially if that means hurting the one person Azriel cannot live without, you.

And so...

He is silently always watching. When you are in the same room, he soaks in your presence, and cannot force himself to look away. Because you are the most stunning creature that he has ever met. Because you are the love of his life.

He also has ordered one of his shadows to constantly be around you. And he thinks you haven't noticed, but of course you have. You know your mate. You know his tendencies to be protective. You know the fears that he holds close to his chest, hidden away from everyone, even his brothers, but impossible to hide from you.

And honestly...

You don't mind the protectiveness. You actually bask in it.

You adore the little shadow that follows you around. It has become your silent friend who helps you with whatever task you are working on. Once, you were cooking dinner for you and Az, and the glass bowl slipped from your hands. Had his shadow not been there, the bowl would have shattered into thousands of little pieces. But the shadow was there. And in an attempt to protect you from any harm, it caught the bowl, lifting it back to your hands. And since then, anytime you ask the shadow to do something for you, it will.

You adore the way that Az stares at you. How he eyes you up and down in whatever it is that you chose to wear for the day. How you are the first person he looks for when he enters a room. How his gaze remains focused on you, even while in conversation with someone else. How he looks at you like you have placed every star in the sky. 

Before Azriel, you struggled with the way you looked.

But with him...

With him... with the way he glares at any male who has the gall to speak to you. With the way he practically worships the ground that you walk on. With the way his hazel eyes glow with reverence every time he catches your gaze. With the way he kisses you, so softly, so gently, with his hands cupping your cheeks and pulling you flush against him. With the way he touches you like you are holy, like you are a goddess that has graced him with your blessings. With the way he makes love to you, slow and smooth at first, savoring your scent, your body, your kisses. With the way it always devolves into desperation, into longing, into an ache that builds and builds and builds until saccharine release that floods the bond that ties your hearts and souls together. 

Release that has his pupils blown so wide, the depths of his iris’ disappear. Release that has his breathe stolen from him, gasping puffs of air against your lips. Release that has his entire body quivering, and his wings flaring to span across the bed. 

With him, you can’t help but feel like the Mother took her time creating you, perfecting you for the most handsome mate. Azriel stole almost every drop of insecurity that stains your self image. So rarely do you now experience the dark inkling of doubt in yourself. So rarely. 

But it does happen once every blue moon. 

And every time it does, Azriel is right there with you. Right in your corner. Slipping in murmurs of compliments and praise every chance he can get. Having his shadows curl around the curves of your body, and playing with your hair before tugging you towards their master so he can hold you in a tight embrace. Pressing soft kisses onto every inch of exposed skin you grace him with that day. And just like that, the small flame of insecurity flickers out. 

Only today... 

Today, Azriel was out on a mission all day, and would be meeting you at Mariana’s, the diner the shadowsinger took you to after you finally agreed to a date with him, “Just give me one night doll, just one, and I promise I will change your mind about me,” he murmured into your ear as he swayed your body against his on Starfall. That date had been the single event that solidified your feelings towards the powerful male. And since then, every month, you would meet at Mariana’s to share a milkshake like you had that night. 

Today, Azriel hadn’t been here to comfort you as you feel into a spiral of insecurity. His pulses of love down the bond were met with a wall of self doubt that you were holding tight. The dress that Azriel had bought you months ago was just not fitting you right. The way it clung to your hips felt awkward as you stared at yourself in the mirror. Eventually, you had moved to fixing your hair and smearing on a sheer lip stain, and even that hadn’t worked out as you had hoped. Your hair decided to not cooperate today, and your lip stain had only melted into the inner parts of your lips, making your mouth seem much smaller than it was. Despite not feeling good about the way you were looking, you knew in your heart that Az would look at you as though you were the center of his universe, and that soothed the dull ache as you placed the sapphire earrings on. 

You clutched at the wool of your colbat blue overcoat that matched the spymasters siphons, briskly walking through the rainbow to meet at the little table seated out in the corner of the patio, letting the wind brush through your hair. Azriel’s shadow followed dutifully behind you, snaking through the dark corners of the walkway. Unsurprisngly, the diner was packed to the brim, flowing with regulars and new customers. Mariana’s milkshakes were that of legend. You peaked above the heads that were seated, trying to spot the wavy onyx hair that belonged to your mate, but came up empty. You had shown up fifteen minutes early, and knowing your mate, he would likely show up in five. You both had a habit of showing up to your little excursions early, too excited to see one another again. And this time, you had chosen to meet right after his scheduled mission debrief with Rhys and Cass. 

You silently seated yourself at the table, resting your chin into the palm of your hand as the tiny shadow slithered around the restaurant, taking note of all the patrons who were within 50 feet of you. Your fingers stroked the checkered fabric that was placed over the table as you waited for your mate, content with the quiet chatter around you as a distraction from the excitement of finally being in Az’s arms again. 

You already knew how this would go. He, in his spymaster fashion, silent as the darkness that encompasses him in warm comfort, would seat himself in the chair right next to you instead of the one in front of you. You already knew he would card his scarred fingers through your hair, gently tugging you into a warm kiss before sliding your chair by the bottom right up to his. You already knew he would then wrap his arm around the back of your chair, allowing for his warmth that he seems to radiate to seep into your chilled skin, before signaling the waiter to come take your order. That is how things always go between you. That is how it has always gone between you. 

So you certainly weren’t expecting for this random male to slide into the chair across from you. 

And you certainly weren’t expecting for him to reach out and grab a hold of your wrist with his cold, slightly wet palm from what you could only hope was sweat. 

Startled by the sudden contact from a male who was practically a stranger, you gasped trying to yank your arm out of his hold, “Excuse me.” 

But the blonde males grip on you was tight. Unrelanting. “You’re excused sexy,” he smirked at you, leaning in closer to your face with all sense of personal space apparently gone, the alcohol in his breath wafted into your nose had you nearly gagging. “What’s a gorgeous lady like yourself sitting her all alone looking pretty?” he jeered at you, ignoring the obvious discomfort that was strained across your face. The cold whisper of Azriel’s shadow had wrapped around your wrist, helping you in the effort to pull your arm away as you calmly replied, “I’m here with my mate. Leave me alone.”

His smirk dropped at your statement, a dangerous glint flashed across his blue eyes that had darkened into ice, “I’m just talkin’ to you, you stupid bint. You think you’re better than me?” The grip he had on your wrist tightened, nearly cutting off the circulation as Azriel’s shadow shot away, seemingly to warn his master of the situation that was unfolding. Panic started to roll through you in heaves, unintentionally and unknowingly signaling Azriel through the bond.  

Finality was set in your tone as you attempted once more, this time, with much less kindness and a lot more threat laced through your words, “Let go of me right now or else-” The male cut you off, slamming your wrist he had hold of into the table, “Or else what? You know what? You’re a waste of time. Pathetic fucking whor-” 

You felt the sting of insecurity steep into you. A random male stating your deepest insecurity at fact. That you were a waste of time. That you would never be good enough. Not for Azriel, your wonderful perfect mate. 

You didn’t have time to respond back. You didn’t have time to process the emotion. You honestly didn’t even see what really happened. One second, the male was belittling you so close, you could feel drops of his spit marring your skin. 

The next, the male was screaming bloody murder as darkness swarmed you. 

What brought undeniable terror to the male had brought you utter comfort and peace as shadows began dancing around you. The grip that had no doubt left bruises on your wrist, was gone. You could feel the warmth of your mate, his eucalyptus and midnight rain scent overwhelming you into a deep sense of safety. As you squinted your eyes through the mist of darkness, you could barely make out truth teller sticking in through the males hand and into the wood of the table that was covered by the checkered cloth. You could feel the rage radiating off your mate as his shadows dissapatted, allowing you and every other patron seated close to watch as the spymaster brought down his wrath on this male. 

“Or else me,” Az’s voice was deepened into a void. A shiver shot down your spine at the display of power that was sending pools of attraction at the apex of your thighs. “She is mine. Mine. My mate. How dare you speak to her? How dare you lay your flithy fucking hands on her, you insolent fool?” Any cockiness the drunk male had displayed was gone, sobered from the pain of the spymaster’s dagger slammed through his hand and into the table, trapping him in his own blood that was pouring out of the wound. One of your mates hands was clutching the truth teller by the hilt so tight, his scarred knuckles were pure white. The other hand was locked at the males neck, choking him in place as he stammered out apologies and pleas for mercy that were ignored by darkness incarnate. 

A sudden gust of wind from your left with a resounding thump had you shifting your gaze away from the scene that was unfolding, to Cassian approaching you, Azriel, and the male wearing the mask of general to the night court. His large hand squeezed your shoulder softly before he leaned over to murmur something into Azriel’s ear. At first, your mate didn’t budge from his position, too focused on the now crying male. Only after sending a tug down your bond did his attention snap towards you. 

He wrenched truth teller from the males hand, another scream resounding as Cassian made quick work of knocking the male out with a hard punch to the jaw, and then throwing the male over his shoulder to fly away to the jail where he would await interrogation and subsequent punishment. 

Azriel stayed focused on you, completely unbothered by the male, darting his eyes up and down your figure to check for any injuries. He reached out a shaking hand, hesitating as if he were scared you feared him after seeing what he was capable of. Silly male. 

You smiled at your mate, clasping your fingers through his to rub at the thickened skin, bringing his hand up to press in soft kisses. He pulled you out of your chair, swiftly sliding his arms to wrap around your waist, lifting you up off the ground to where you instinctivly wrapped your legs around his waist. 

He shot through the sky, his grip on you solid and warm, grounding almost. Any insecurities that had been creeping through your mind slowly began to slip away as he whispered words of comfort into your ear, only to be heard by you, his shadows, and the stars that lined the sky. When you reached your home, his grip on you hadn’t loosened until he was tossing you onto the bed, immediately following your flying form and dropping his body on yours. 

His hands stroked at your cheeks and hair, “Are you okay doll? I could feel the panic through the bond and I nearly ripped the fools head off when your shadow told me what was happening.” You hummed, nudging your nose against his as you nodded, soaking in the attention your mate was giving you, preening at the strokes of love and overprotectiveness he was sending down the bond. “I’m fine Az, really.” 

But your mate is your mate. He is also the spymaster of one of the most powerful, if not the most powerful, courts in Prythian. Nothing slips past him, especially where you are concerned. He could read you like an open book. He could sense your emotions like they were his own. 

“Nothing, and I mean nothing, he said was true. You aren’t a waste of space. You are the definition of utter perfection. And he was pathetic to think you would use any of your valuable time on him,” you scoffed out a laugh at the gentle words of your mate, but he only pressed his forehead further into yours, his lips brushing against your chapped lips as he continued, “You are mine. My mate. and I am yours. Only yours. No matter how undeserving I may be, the mother has given you to me. And me to you. I love you more than words could describe. The constant awe that I feel around you is beyond any phrase I could use. Every day, I find a new reason to fall for you.” 

He locked his lips to yours in a firm kiss, leaning back only a couple of centimeters after a moment, “Darling, I am so in love with you. I have always been in love with you. And I will always be in love with you.”

And just like that, the sneaky spymaster had stolen every ounce of chilling self doubt and insecurity, replacing it with the warmth of his love, “I am in love with you too Azriel,” you murmured into his plump lips, pecking them after every whispered word. 

AHHHH okay what did you think?!?! Let me know your thoughts in the comments! Please like, reblog, and comment! I always love the interaction, and as always I am so happy and thankful for all the support I do receive. I hope that you all took your medications, had something to eat, and took a sip of water. 

And again, to my devoted beautiful lovely 🍸, I hope you enjoyed. And Happy belated birthday my sweet <3

[veloursdor]

i saw this post and this happened:

obikin au where they're not jedis, they're top gun pilots.

qui-gon and obi-wan were a team, but most importantly, friends. the kind of friends that know each other families (obi-wan is engaged to satine, qui-gon is married to shmi and they have anakin) and think of each other as family as well. everything is great until one day, during a training exercise, the plane malfunctions and qui-gon unfortunately passes away.

obi-wan believes it's his fault (even though the board [aka the council] had cleared him of any wrongdoing), and, out of a sense of responsability and what's right, decides to devote his life to anakin's well-being. shmi tells him is not necessary, that she can manage without qui-gon, but obi-wan has made up his mind and he's stubborn; he will be there for anakin like qui-gon should've.

at first, satine is supportive, she understands her fiancé's sense of responsability and the love he had for his mentor... until it starts taking over everything in his life ("i'm sorry satine, i'm gonna have to cancel dinner with your parents." "why?" "anakin is having his first school dance and i'm chaperoning." "shmi? oh, shmi will take pictures").

she gives him an ultimatum and obi-wan chooses anakin (his "duty") and she breaks up with him. obi-wan is heartbroken, they were high school sweethearts and obi-wan is in his mid 20s, but taking care of ani makes the heartache lessen.

time passes and obi-wan is now an intrinsic part of the skywalker household. he's anakin's father, brother, best friend, mentor. anakin has decided to follow into his father's footsteps and join the navy (in truth he wants to be closer to obi-wan away from shmi's eyes) and shmi and obi-wan are 'supportive' (shmi more than obi-wan).

he wants to be happy for the boy, truly, anakin's happiness is his own happiness. but the idea of losing anakin like he lost qui-gon makes him freeze and think of any way to keep it from happening. he makes an impulsive decision and asks his admiral to drop anakin's application so anakin has 4 more years to make a decision.

when anakin finds out, he's heartbroken. all he's ever wanted is to be with obi-wan and to see that obi-wan would go out of his way to keep anakin away from him now that 'it's not his responsibility' (anakin has just turned 18), decides to devote the next 4 years of his life to make sure the navy doesn't reject him again.

many years pass with no contact between them (obi-wan is devastated at anakin's anger but knows in his heart it was the right thing to do) and obi-wan has led a lonely life. he still calls shmi and lets her know he's okay, but he's too scared to ask about anakin, to know how he is (is he still angry at obi-wan? does he hate him?).

obi-wan is called to base, where he's asigned the mission to rescue and protect the daughter of an ambassador in hostile territory (palpatine's the president there). he's to have a wingman, something he hasn't had since qui-gon's death, and is to work together with them in order for the mission to be successful.

obi-wan is surpirsed to see anakin is to be his wingman, the little boy is no more and now it's a man in front of him, but the younger man rebuffs any friendly advance obi-wan extends towards him. he's rough, angry and borderline rude whenever obi-wan talks to him, but obi-wan doesn't mind because until that moment, he hadn't realised how much he had missed anakin in his life.

however, the days leading towards the mission ease a little of the tension between them because, for better or for worse, anakin has missed obi-wan so much. he's still angry and hurt, but the older man (still the man of his dreams) remains good and kind hearted despite the awful things anakin throws his way.

the mission is a success (despite everything, obi-wan and anakin had always worked well together, always anticipating each other moves; time hasn't changed that at all) and on their way home (on a stolen bigger aircraft) the ambassador's daughter cannot stop flirting with anakin, much to obi-wan's dismay. but is when she places a hand on anakin's forearm and the younger man doesn't brush her off that obi-wan realises he's jealous.

he wishes anakin would stand his touch for more than a few seconds instead of recoiling from it, flinching when all obi-wan wants is to make sure anakin is next to him, alive. he's jealous of the way anakin smiles at her, without disdain or resentment in his eyes.

he's jealous of a girl younger than his military career, and obi-wan can't stand it. because he just understood that, in the few days they had between their reunion and their mission, he fell in love with anakin.

but anakin could never be his.

[cousticks]

Thoughts on Gin and Kunikidarling?

OOooooooo boy

Gin I absolutely adore and wish we could see more. I'm constantly impressed by Gin. I talk about how much I love Gin a bit here but I can definitely go more in depth. We don't see a lot of Gin in the canon, honestly. But we know she doesn't have an ability. We also know she's a Black Lizard commander. Not just... some kid in the mafia, but a commander. And a highly skilled assassin in her own right. Like. Trained-by-Verlaine assassin. You don't get a command position in the mafia by being a one trick pony. Gin can strategize, lead a group, and is fully operable for stealth solo missions, hence the whole assassin bit. She's respected. I also think its kind of interesting how different her role is compared to her brother, who is more... flashy, comparatively. They come from quite similar backgrounds, other than Ryuunosuke having an ability, but Gin seems much more confident and assured in her skillsets. I just think she's really neat.

Beast Gin is really cool, too. She's one of the characters that seems the most different between the two universes, which is kind of interesting considering she's in the mafia in both. However Beastzai seems to have recognized the incredible skillsets Gin possessed in the original universe, and saw how all the same things that make Gin a good commander (strategy, independent thinking, etc) and assassin (remaining under-the-radar and nondescript while still constantly aware) make her a good secretary to the boss. Her talents are recognized as intrinsically useful and necessary in both universes. Like... if she was only useful to motivate Ryuunosuke, she could have just been anywhere in the mafia, kept under watch. But she's given an important position, because its an absolute waste not to. I think we should talk about how capable Gin is more because she kicks serious ass in every skillset and also because I just think she's cool.

As for Kunikida, all that needs to be said is that i'm in love with him. Of course i'll say more anyway though. Because I love him. Mr. "While we are an Armed Detective Agency." We joke about Kunikida being rigid and uptight in all such things with his carefully laid out schedule in his little book that operates his life, but when you get down to it Kunikida really is pretty adaptive. Whatever wrench is thrown in his plans, he always responds and takes action immediately, which I think is pretty admirable. Sure, he'd probably like to stay on schedule, but he's quick to recognize when things are simply not going to go his way and he needs to adapt. Like, you know, getting his ability ripped out of him by a fog and having to instead fight his way back to the agency to figure out what the hell is going on. Kunikida is constantly constantly proving how resourceful he is. He can have whatever he wants when he needs it with his ability, but is also still incredibly limited considering what he has. And while he's always ready for a fight and quite talented at it, he never jumps to anything that will do lasting damage. I'll always find the way he tends towards that grapple gun interesting and all the ways he can use it.

There's also Kunikida's tendency towards just kind of... making sure people are cared for, and taking responsibility for things he was involved in (whether it should be his responsibility or not). Case in point being Rokuzo, the boy from the Azure Messenger arc, that Kunikida had been basically providing for on the side because he felt bad about being involved in the case that killed his dad. He'd all but adopted the boy before Nobuko killed Rokuzo. (Hey, how much of the bit with Aya in the subway tunnel do you think felt like a flashback to Rokuzo for Kunikida? Poor guy has seen this happen too many times. Just let him adopt kids in peace.) He checks in on Katai, too. Once you're under Kunikida's protection just once, it kind of seems like that's a for-life deal, and I think that's a really neat aspect of him. Another way of looking at it kind of feels like his work is his life, but that work is not limited to the Detective Agency. Its his ideals coming through. I like him.

[neonlights92]

CHANGE: Chapter VII (Epilogue.)

When the feud between EXO and Bangtan escalates beyond control Bangtan’s leader Kim Taehyung sees only one solution: a marriage of convenience between a member of Bangtan and a member of EXO. Park Jimin was not born into Bangtan but has slowly become an intrinsic part of Taehyung’s trusted inner circle.

And that is how Jimin finds himself married to you; EXO leader Xiumin’s little sister.  You’re not like any other woman he’s ever met before; fierce, angry and talented with a switchblade. When you first meet Jimin you’re left angry and disappointed.

Except slowly, things change. And despite yourself, you find your heart warming to the idea of falling in love.

A/N: I ummed and ahhed with making them pregnant by the end but it just... didn’t feel right for their story right now.  This is the end of CHANGE.  Thanks so much for sticking around aaaaaaaaaaannnnd Jungkookie’s next! ENJOY!!! “You can’t do this Jimin.  You’re not ready.”

You felt your brow crease with worry at the look on your husband’s face.  He was cringing slightly, holding the side where the bullet wound had only recently started healing properly.

“Y/N.  I’m not going on a mission.  Just to the warehouse.”“So?  It’s only been six weeks, and the doctor recommended eight.” 

“For vigorous physical activity,” He told you gently, “I’m only going for a meeting with Taehyung and Jin.  I’ll be sat down the entire time.”

“What’s so important you need to go?”  You felt stupid for getting angry - and you knew you were probably being irrational but still.  You couldn’t help how you felt.

Jimin licked his bottom lip, “Taehyung wants to start looking for a wife for Jungkook.  He needs my help choosing a suitable partner.”

It was so infuriating that his answer was perfectly reasonable.  You knew this was one of Jimin’s most important jobs.  Matchmaking within Bangtan was of the utmost importance.

You felt your chest tighten, “I don’t like this.”

“I know you don’t darling,” He moved towards you and pressed a gentle kiss on your nose, “But it’s time I started to adapt back to normal life, isn’t it?  You can’t keep wrapping me in cotton wool.”

“Yes I can.”  You answered stubbornly, melting at his closeness, “I never want you hurt again.”

“You’re being unreasonable baby.”  Pet names had always bothered you before, but never with Jimin.  He was so loving, so perfect, anything he called you was a blessing.

You sighed heavily, almost hating yourself for being so cautious, but powerless to stop it.  Your feelings for your husband were so strong, you weren’t sure if this intense need to protect him would ever lessen - or if the ache in your chest whenever he kissed you would always stay.

“I just love you,” You said the words easily now, as if they were second nature to you, “And I don’t want you to get hurt ever again.  Not like that.”

“I know sweetheart,” He stroked your face gently, “But I’ve got the boys with me.  Hoseok would pull off his own fingernails before he let something like this happen to me again.  But you can’t keep worrying about me everytime I’m not in your immediate eyeline.”

You knew he was teasing you a little, and maybe another time you might have even laughed.  As it was, you only pouted.

He kissed the frown off your lips, and the crease in your forehead.

“I love you too precious.  And I’m always going to come back okay?  You just need to trust me, okay?”

You nodded, once, sharply.  He was right.

“Okay Jimin,” You pressed your mouth against his own, “Just be careful.”

“I will.”

After a few more kisses he finally parted from you, and smiled warmly, promising to be back before dinner.  You watched him climb into the car from the driveway, arms crossed and eyes tracing over his figure again and again, like a woman obsessed.

God.  You loved him so much.

//

Two weeks later, a box showed up at your doorstep.

One of your new maids - Chaeri - brought it inside for you, leaving it stowed away at the back of one of your many spare rooms.

You forgot about it for a few days until finally you decided it was time to have a look inside.  It had been addressed to you and at first you thought it might be things from your old headquarters.  EXO had all but disintegrated since the death of your brother and perhaps after raiding their warehouses Bangtan had found something of purpose to give to you.

But you’d just assumed Taehyung would deliver those things himself, or at least give them to your husband.  After everything you’d been through.

But when you opened up the flaps of the box and revealed what was underneath your heart almost stopped.  It wasn’t things from your old headquarters.

It was your brother’s things.  Xiumin’s belongings.

You recognised the snowglobe that had always sat atop his desk, and the leather briefcase he’d inherited from your father.  Your chest tightened as your fingers ran across the items, each one bringing with it a fresh stab of regret.

In his final moments Xiumin had betrayed you like nobody else, but he was still your brother.

When the whole world had seemingly abandoned you, Xiumin had stood by you.

You weren’t sure if the bond you’d shared could be called love - perhaps it was hate that bound you together - but he’d meant something to you.  Something sincere and perhaps affectionate.

So when Jimin found you a couple of hours later, sorting through your brother’s things and crying silently, he bundled you up in his arms and kissed away the tears.

“I’m sorry Y/N,” He whispered, when he realised what all the things scattered around you meant, “I didn’t realise what was in there.”

“It’s okay,” You answered, looking up into his soft eyes felt like coming home, “This is good for me.  I can let it all go, finally.”

You spent the remainder of the afternoon sorting through your brother’s things, Jimin holding onto you for dear life, and taking care of you whenever things got too overwhelming.  

And it was only later on that evening, as you were buried beneath your sheets, cuddled up to your husband’s chest that you realised something.

Jimin had made you a better person.

You were sure you didn’t deserve it.  You weren’t even sure if he’d ever grow tired of you….

But there it was as clear as day.

He’d been your redemption.

He’d changed you.

“I love you, Park Jimin,”  You whispered, as his arm curled tighter around you.

He smiled softly, gently, like he couldn’t believe you were his.

“I love you too Switchblade.  Always.”

Always.

Forever sounded beautiful, when it was with him.

//

[elizabethemerald]

Talks of Trauma: Jlaireby

Team Trollhunters discuss some of the shit they’ve been through. 

AO3

The three Trollhunters made their slow way up the stairs. All three of them were exhausted. Even Toby could barely lift his legs now that his adrenaline had worn off. Claire and Jim had forgotten that his battle with Morando had only been a few days ago for him, even if it had been over a week ago for the others.  

When they got to the top of the stairs Jim stuttered to a halt. He stared through the open door of the room he had grown up in, where he could see several bassinets for the familiars.  Claire nudged him gently and Toby guided them all into Barbara’s room. 

Jim toed off his shoes then slumped into the bed. Claire pushed him until he rolled into the middle of the bed, before she did the same. She sat leaning against the head board watching the other two. Jim was just about to doze off while Toby was working to untie his shoes. 

"I know we're all tired, but can we talk?" She said softly. 

Jim rolled onto his back, then with a slight groan pulled himself into a sitting position beside her. Toby froze, one shoe half on. 

"What did you want to talk about, Claire-bear?" He asked with a forced chuckle. 

"Well, about us." 

Toby stood ramrod straight for a second before nervously grabbing the shoe he had already taken off, leaving the other half on. 

"If it makes you more comfortable I can sleep downstairs or go over to my Nana’s."

"Toby take off your shoes and get into bed." Claire snapped. 

Toby saluted, kicking off his shoe and dropping the other one. He then climbed across both of their legs, drawing giggles and groans from them both, before he settled on Jim's other side. 

"What's this about Claire?" Jim asked. His voice was low and his eyes were a little unfocused. 

"We've gone through some crazy stuff and we need to actually talk about it. And talk about how we are each feeling, after everything."

Jim’s eyes focused more. 

"Good point. How have you been holding up Tobes?" 

"I think she was talking about the person who died earlier today, nice deflection though."

Jim sat up straight, looking both annoyed and more awake. Claire put her hand on his arm before he could speak. 

"Jim it was a deflection, but it is still a valid question. How have you been TP?"

Toby's eyes flicked rapidly in between them, his body almost trying to curl into a ball. Then he sat up straight again and plastered a wide smile on his face. 

"Everything's been great for me! Not a single worry or care."

He looked like he was about to turn the question back on Jim when Claire growled and pressed her nails to her forehead.  

"This is serious you two!" She moved on the bed until she was sitting at the foot facing the other two. "Fine. Since getting you boys to talk is going to be like pulling teeth, I'll go first."

She took a deep breath, her eyes closed, before she opened them and focused on the others. 

"I'm scared." She said softly. "Not just scared, I'm terrified!"

"Of the Arcane Order?" Jim asked. 

"Yes, a little, but I'm way more scared about us."

The two boys glanced at each other, before refocusing on Claire. They could both see how scared and serious she was. 

"Toby I met Morgana while we were in the past. I talked with her. I could only watch as she fell to her death." 

"I've been so afraid, ever since she possessed me that i would end up like her. That I would embrace the darkness and welcome its corruption."

"The Morgana I met back then was so different from the one who had possessed me. She was kind, and cared for magical creatures enough to protect Jim and I, again and again."

"She loved Guinevere and Arthur. She even loved Arthur after he cut off her hand. She loved her brother so much that she died to stop him."

"And yet, despite how much she loved him, I could sense the darkness within her. Her anger at the mistreatment of those like her. There was a time where she saw everyone around her as an enemy. 

"I could sense Arthur's grief at the loss of Guinevere as well. And he turned that grief into hatred of anything different than himself."

Claire pressed her hands to her mouth, muffling a sob. A few tears crept down her face. Jim leaned forward and put a hand on her knee. Toby did the same with her arm. 

"Claire you're not Morgana."

"But don't you see how easy it would be for me to be just like her?" Claire cried, tears flowing faster down her cheeks. 

"I'm sixteen years old. I've already held the body of one of my boyfriends in my arms sure that he was dead. Twice! I've been possessed, my soul cast out and banished, almost forced to kill you, and I met the witch who possessed me and served her tea!"

"It would so easy to turn that grief and fear into something evil. To lash out and hurt the people I care for most."

She leaned forward and put a hand on each of the boy's cheeks. Jim put his hand on her own cheek and wiped away a few tears. Toby leaned into the hand on his face and began rubbing small circles into Claire's shoulder. 

"Arthur and Morgana never talked about their grief from losing Gwen. Morgana never talked to him about how much his hatred towards magic, an intrinsic part of her, hurt her."

"I'm terrified that we will end up just like them. That we'll lose ourselves in the face of everything that's happened to us. That we'll lose each other."

Claire broke down sobbing completely. Jim and Toby gently pulled her back to the head of the bed, now between them. They both held her as tightly as they could, trying to reassure her with their arms around her. She cried in their arms, her hands holding their shirts like she thought they would slip away from her at any moment. 

“Claire. We won’t let that happen. We won’t let each other fall like that.” Jim said softly, his hand in her hair.”

She looked up at him, tears still rolling down her face. 

“How can you be so sure about that?” She asked. “You died today. Fully died. And I- I some how brought you back. I don’t know how but I did, and I don’t know if I can do that again. I don’t think I can go through that again.”

The boys were both silent. Neither of them knew how to respond to that. Instead of saying anything they just held her tightly while she cried. In time her tears slowed, until she could wipe her eyes and take a deep shuttering breath. Jim held her still, while Toby leaned back, his face deep in thought. 

“I guess-” Toby hesitated not looking at either of the others. “I guess I’m afraid too.”

Claire leaned back so she could look at Toby and Jim shifted sideways on the bed so he could too, though he kept an arm across Claire’s shoulders. Toby sniffed loudly, glancing at them before looking away. 

“I’ve always been afraid. Since the very beginning. I’ve been afraid that I’ll never be someone’s first choice, or that I’ll be left behind because I’m not good enough.” 

“Jim I’ve had to watch you almost die so many times, I can’t even count them all. Each time I have to sit on the sidelines not being useful, just watching you get hurt. From the first time we ran away from Bular you faced him by yourself while I ran with Blinky and Aaarrrgghh.”

“And that kept happening!” Toby put his head in hands, frustration tinging his voice. “I watched while you fought Bular by yourself, and Chompsky and Draal, and Strickler and Angor. I had to watch you get pummeled again and again, I was never able to stop it. And each time I felt like it was because I wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t good enough to fight alongside you, to help you.”

Toby lifted his hands to look at Claire. 

“And when you joined our team, I was so scared that you would split us up. That you would replace me. We talked about this, you know I was jealous of you.” Jim made a surprised noise at that. “But really I was afraid. You were so cool, and awesome and pretty. All the things that I wasn’t.”

“I thought the time had finally come where Jim would leave me behind. Leave with just you.” Toby sobbed, tears starting down his own face. Claire’s tears started afresh as well. “And it happened! You went into the Darklands by yourself. And I saw how hurt you were when we got you out. Then it happened again, when you both left me here in Arcadia while you went to New Jersey. And then again when you both fell into the past without me. And both times you were hurt and I couldn’t do anything to help.”

“Its like I keep reliving my same terror from when my parents died.” Toby’s voice cracked and broke as he shouted the words. Then his voice turned quiet again. “I’m so afraid that one of these days, I’ll be left on the sidelines, or left behind. And you won’t make it back. Either of you.”

Claire wrapped her arms around Toby, and he held back just as tightly. Toby cried softly in her arms. She leaned around Toby to look back at Jim, who was staring at a wall. She tried to make eye contact with him, but he didn’t meet her gaze. 

“Jim?” She finally asked. 

Toby wiped his eyes and looked at him. “Jimbo?”

At that, Jim stood up from the bed with a grunt of pain and looked at himself in the mirror above his mom’s armoir. 

“Jim? Is that who I am?” Jim said, still staring at himself. Toby and Claire immediately looked at each other with concern. “Sometimes I don’t even know who I am. Who I’m supposed to be. What I’m supposed to be.”

He turned back to face them, tears now glittering in his own eyes. 

“Toby I left you behind again and again. Claire I shut you out, and pretended like I could handle everything on my own. And you know what? The trolls in the Void would have celebrated that choice.”

Jim turned back away to look at himself. Claire and Toby could both hear anger in his voice as he spoke to his reflection. 

“Kanjigar always said that I would have to push away everyone if I was to be a good Trollhunter. And so I did. Again and again and again. I pushed you away and closed you out, because I thought it was my job to take the hard blows. It was my job to die to protect you two.”

He put a hand up to the mirror, tracing his own reflection, like he didn’t recognize what he saw. 

“At first I thought that would have been the only way the other trolls would have celebrated me, if I died. They all hated me so much when I was first called. Vendel. Draal. Nothing I did was ever good enough. None of them believed me about Killahead or the changelings. And Gunmar was almost released.”

“I think in the end I was afraid. Afraid of losing myself.” Jim growled, the noise not quite a troll growl, but certainly not a sound they would expect a human to make. He turned back and crawled into bed with Claire and Toby. “I was afraid of losing the two of you.”

“And it came so close. So many times. I went into the Darklands because I didn’t want to lose you. And then Gunmar escaped and you were possessed trying to get us all away from him. Toby I left you behind in Arcadia, hoping you would be safe from whatever found us on the road, and than an alien general made himself a god and tried to kill you.”

Jim grabbed Claire and Toby in a hug, his face pressed to Claire’s shoulder. 

“I couldn’t protect either of you. And each time I tried to save you I gambled my own humanity. Facing the beast in the Deep, I saw that fear made real. Then I threw my humanity aside when I stepped into the tub, hoping that as a troll I would be strong enough to save you. I was able to kill Gunmar, and then I almost died to Morgana and the Green Knight. And I lost myself when I tried to buy you time.”

“It made me sick, to see that fear in your eyes, when you saw me. I was so terrified that while I was out of control I would hurt you. How could I have forgiven myself after that?” Jim looked up at them both. Tears now flowing freely down his face. “How could I live with myself if I killed you?”

Claire maneuvered them until they were laying down in the bed. Toby covered them with the blankets. Jim cried softly, still speaking past his tears. 

“Even now, I don’t know how to protect you both. I don’t know how to protect myself. How can we keep going like this? How many times can we keep doing this?”

They lay on the bed in silence for a few minutes. Each filled with their own thoughts and the words of their lovers. How could they survive together when there was so much in the world stacked against them? It was Toby who finally took a deep breath, breaking the silence that hung over them. 

“I- I guess, we were all scared of the same things. Losing each other. Losing ourselves.” He sighed and nuzzled closer to Claire’s shoulder. She in turn pulled Jim closer so they were all a tangle of limbs in the bed. “I don’t know what will happen in the future. But-but at least for now, we have each other?”

There was a hint of uncertainty in his voice. Jim reached across Claire’s body to grab his hand. 

“We have each other.” Jim confirmed. 

“After everything we’ve been through, we still have each other.” Claire said. 

Slowly one by one their eyes started to droop. One by one sleep came for them. They had faced the end of the world, several times. Their exhaustion was complete. Emotionally drained from their trials and their conversation. Physically drained from fighting to save the world. Fighting to save each other. Fighting to save themselves. Whatever may come, in this moment, they have each other.

[mytwilightimagines13]

The new Denali (Tanya Denali) Part 4

word count: 1724

A heavy glare came from Caius, staring with enraged disbelief at Kate and Garrett in the snow. Aro was watching the same two, incredulity the strongest emotion on his face. He knew what Kate could do. He had felt her potency through Edward's memories. The Volturi guard no longer stood at disciplined attention - they were crouched forward, waiting to spring the counterstrike the moment we attacked. Behind them, forty-three witnesses watched with very different expressions than the ones they'd worn entering the clearing. Confusion had turned to suspicion. The lightning-fast destruction of Irina had shaken them all. What had been her crime? Without the immediate attack that Caius had counted on to distract from his rash act, the Volturi witnesses were left questioning exactly what was going on here. Aro glanced back swiftly while you watched, his face betraying him with one flash of vexation. His need for an audience had backfired badly. you heard Stefan and Vladimir murmur to each other in quiet glee at Aro's discomfort. Aro touched Caius's shoulder lightly. "Irina has been punished for bearing false witness against this child. Perhaps we should return to the matter at hand?" Caius straightened, and his expression hardened into unreadability. He stared forward, seeing nothing. Aro drifted forward, Renata, Felix, and Demetri automatically moving with him. "Just to be thorough," he said, "I'd like to speak with a few of your witnesses. Procedure, you know." He waved a hand dismissively. You zonder out, still holding Tanya close to you, her form shaking with anger and grief. "There is no broken law," Aro said in a placating voice, bringing your attention back, but every vampire could hear that a qualification was coming. "No broken law," Aro repeated, and he started this long speech about the dangers off the unknown. "You're reaching, Aro," Carlisle said in a bleak voice. "Peace, friend." Aro smiled, his face as kind, his voice as gentle, as ever. "Let us not be hasty. Let us look at this from every side." "May I offer a side to be considered?" Garrett petitioned in a level tone, taking another step forward. "Nomad," Aro said, nodding in permission. Garrett's chin lifted. His eyes focused on the huddled mass at the end of the meadow, and he spoke directly to the Volturi witnesses. ‘what are you doing, fool?’ you thought as you watched your best friend step closer to the foes. "I came here at Carlisle's request, as the others, to witness," he said. "That is certainly no longer necessary, with regard to the child. We all see what she is. I stayed to witness something else. You." He jabbed his finger toward the wary vampires. "Two of you I know - Makenna, Charles - and I can see that many of you others are also wanderers, roamers like myself. Answering to none. Think carefully on what I tell you now. These ancient ones did not come here for justice as they told you. We suspected as much, and now it has been proved. They came, misled, but with a valid excuse for their action. Witness now as they seek flimsy excuses to continue their true mission. Witness them struggle to find a justification for their true purpose - to destroy this family here." He gestured toward Carlisle and Tanya. "The Volturi come to erase what they perceive as the competition. Perhaps, like me, you look at this clan's golden eyes and marvel. They are difficult to understand, it's true. But the ancient ones look and see something besides their strange choice. They see power. I have witnessed the bonds within this family - I say family and not coven. These strange golden-eyed ones deny their very natures. But in return have they found something worth even more, perhaps, than mere gratification of desire? I've made a little study of them in my time here, and it seems to me that intrinsic to this intense family binding - that which makes them possible at all - is the peaceful character of this life of sacrifice. There is no aggression here like we all saw in the large southern clans that grew and diminished so quickly in their wild feuds. There is no thought for domination. And Aro knows this better than I do."

You watched Aro's face as Garrett's words condemned him, waiting tensely for some response. But Aro's face was only politely amused, as if waiting for a tantrum-throwing child to realize that no one was paying attention to his histrionics. "Carlisle assured us all, when he told us what was coming, that he did not call us here to fight. These witnesses" - Garrett pointed to Siobhan and Liam - "agreed to give evidence, to slow the Volturi advance with their presence so that Carlisle would get the chance to present his case. "But some of us wondered" - his eyes flashed to Eleazars face - "if Carlisle having truth on his side would be enough to stop the so-called justice. Are the Volturi here to protect the safety of our secrecy, or to protect their own power? Did they come to destroy an illegal creation, or a way of life? Could they be satisfied when the danger turned out to be no more than a misunderstanding? Or would they push the issue without the excuse of justice? We have the answer to all these questions. We heard it in Aro's lying words - we have one with a gift of knowing such things for certain - and we see it now in Caius's eager smile. Their guard is just a mindless weapon, a tool in their masters' quest for domination. So now there are more questions, questions that you must answer. Who rules you, nomads? Do you answer to someone's will besides your own? Are you free to choose your path, or will the Volturi decide how you will live? I came to witness. I stay to fight. The Volturi care nothing for the death of the child. They seek the death of our free will." He turned, then, to face the ancients. "So come, I say! Let's hear no more lying rationalizations. Be honest in your intents as we will be honest in ours. We will defend our freedom. You will or will not attack it. Choose now, and let these witnesses see the true issue debated here." Once more he looked to the Volturi witnesses, his eyes probing each face. The power of his words was evident in their expressions. "You might consider joining us. If you think the Volturi will let you live to tell this tale, you are mistaken. We may all be destroyed" - he shrugged - "but then again, maybe not. Perhaps we are on more equal footing than they know. Perhaps the Volturi have finally met their match. I promise you this, though - if we fall, so do you." He ended his heated speech by stepping back to Kate's side and then sliding forward in a half-crouch, prepared for the onslaught.

Aro smiled. "Avery pretty speech, my revolutionary friend." Garrett remained poised for attack. "Revolutionary?" he growled. "Who am I revolting against, might I ask? Are you my king? Do you wish me to call you master, too, like your sycophantic guard?" you wanted to slap him so badly. This might make the whole situation a lot worse. "Peace, Garrett," Aro said tolerantly. "I meant only to refer to your time of birth. Still a patriot, I see." Garrett glared back furiously. "Let us ask our witnesses," Aro suggested. "Let us hear their thoughts before we make our decision. Tell us, friends" - and he turned his back casually on us, moving a few yards toward his mass of nervous observers hovering even closer now to the edge of the forest - "what do you think of all this?” Many of their witnesses left, trying to get as far away from them hoping it would save them some time before Demetri would find them.  

"We are outnumbered, dearest ones," he said. "We can expect no outside help. Should we leave this question undecided to save ourselves?" "No, master," they whispered in unison. "Is the protection of our world worth perhaps the loss of some of our number?" "Yes," they breathed. "We are not afraid." Aro smiled and turned to his black-clad companions. "Brothers," Aro said somberly, "there is much to consider here." "Let us counsel," Caius said eagerly. "Let us counsel," Marcus repeated in an uninterested tone. Aro turned his back to your group again, facing the other ancients. They joined hands to form a black-shrouded triangle.

"Is there no hope, then?" Carlisle whispered. There was no fear in his voice. Just determination and acceptance. You turned around and saw Bella and Edward saying goodbye to Renesmee, and you knew in that moment what was happening. Your grip tightened around Tanya, knowing this would be the last time you could before the sweet kiss of death would consume you.

"There is absolutely hope," Bella murmured back. "I only know my own fate." Edward took her hand. He knew that he was included. When I said my fate, there was no question that I meant the two of us. We were just halves of the whole.

Esme's breath was ragged behind you. She moved past her family, touching their faces as she passed, to stand beside Carlisle and hold his hand. Suddenly, the ally group was surrounded by murmured goodbyes and I love you's.

"If we live through this," Garrett whispered to Kate, "I'll follow you anywhere, woman."

"Now he tells me," she muttered.

Tanya turned around in your arms and wrapped her arms around your neck. “I am so sorry our time wasn’t much longer, my love.” You said, holding her closely to you. “Shush and kiss me.” Was all Tanya said before she placed her lips on yours passionately. You kissed back as passionate as you could, pouring all your love you had for this woman into it.

Rosalie and Emmett kissed quickly but passionately. Tia caressed Benjamin's face. He smiled back cheerfully, catching her hand and holding it against his cheek.

There was no change in the silent, still forms of the counselling ancients. But perhaps there was some signal you'd missed.

"Get ready," Bella whispered to the others. "It's starting."

[hillnerd]

Why do you think Ron and Hermione fell in love with each other?

I think there are a ton of different reasons. (stole a ton of this from debates I’ve had) THIS IS LOOOONG

1-They enjoy spending time with one another

From the moment they become friends (after the troll incident) they are joined at the hips. Harry goes off on his own a lot (what with Quidditch practice and games, detentions, not allowed to go to hogsmeade, private lessons, dates) and every time he comes back, there are Ron and Hermione still hanging out.

Ron gets on very well with Dean Seamus and Neville. If he didn’t like Hermione, why would he spend all his free time with her? Hermione has made it clear she’d rather have no friends at all than bad ones (otherwise she’d have hung out with SOMEONE when she was on the outs with the boys)- and yet she chooses to spend all her free time with Ron. So we have them choosing to spend their time with one another, whether Harry is there or not.

They are in sync and enjoy one another’s company

The two of them not only spend time with one another, but they see eye to eye on most things. They’re known for squabbling- but as far as actual disagreements go they don’t have that many in the series. The two are a great team who work as a unit to support Harry, Hagrid, defend others, defend each other, and as early as PS/SS even have funny naturally flowing back and forths.

Harry told the other two about Snape’s sudden, sinister desire to be a Quidditch referee.

“Don’t play,” said Hermione at once.

“Say you’re ill,” said Ron.

“Pretend to break your leg,” Hermione suggested.

“Really break your leg,” said Ron.

But they straight up enjoy the company of one another. They are seen laughing throughout the series, ‘having the time of their lives’ in Hogsmeade (just the two of them), hanging out in the library, happily hanging out in the common room.

 Ron makes Hermione smile/laugh more than anyone else

Ron is one of the only people in the series that can bring a smile to Hermione’s face- and it’s so important in any relationship, romantic or platonic, that you’re able to do that. Hermione is a rather serious character and rarely laughs. She barely laughs at the twins at all- but Ron? She laughs, smirks, smiles and finds real enjoyment from his wisecracks. He’s the only character able to get in there and help her have some real fun in the series.

2) They have the same values and admire one another 

Honesty, loyalty, fighting for what’s right, valuing the same sorts of people, enjoying spending their downtime (When there’s no ‘activity’) the same way, the commitment they each have to helping the ‘little guy’, valuing intellectual stimulation (not just academically, but through wit, analysis, and people watching), shared ideas of what’s important in life, and the ability to tease/take the mickey with one another. They are both down to earth people who value the simple things in life above everything else, and their loved ones mean more to them than anything.

They admire each other’s compassion

In the 7th book in particular we see how Ron’s compassion for the cattermoles makes her look like she might kiss him- and then his compassion for house elves is what makes her actually jump him and snog him right in the middle of a battle.

But the two of them admire one another’s good heart throughout the series. He thinks she the best person he knows (says it so as well). Ron is more frequent in verbally praising Hermione than the opposite- so we have a lot of examples of him praising her character.

Both have equal disdain for artifice, cowardly actions, hypocrisy, and cruelty- They also see eye to eye on just what constitutes each of those traits the majority of the time.

You see throughout the series that Ron admires (and does NOT ONCE SHOW JEALOUSY OF) Hermione’s abilities. He compliments her on them in every single book. Hermione is also pushing Ron to live up to his potential (Which she thinks is large- because- hint hint- IT IS) and gushes over how brilliant he is towards the end of book 7.

3) They enjoy mentally stimulating one another

In the series Hermione is constantly trying to get people the engage with her when she wants to argue, or learn. People are happy to inform her of things, but most people shut her down immediately when she starts arguing. Ron is the only character who consistently will engage with her when she does this. He’s the only person who will go head to head with her when her ideas aren’t sound. When she’s going off about SPEW and is trying to FORCE the elves into freedom against their will by hiding socks/hats she knit, Ron is the only person to engage with her about this and question it.

And she LOVES arguing/discussing things. She does so with so many people throughout the series. She argues at the drop of a hat- To her it’s not arguing though- to her it’s just dicussing/qestioning/getting to the truth of the matter- but it drives most characters away- not Ron.

Hermione also does this for Ron. He’s nowhere near as argumentative as Hermione- but he also loves to sit down and discuss stuff- and frankly he’s been so overlooked for so long- it’s wonderful he’s found Harry and Hermione- two people who readily want his opinion, want his input, and enjoy discussing things with him.

Ron and Hermione are both people who crave mental stimulation- and give it to one another throughout the series. It’s not just about arguing- it’s about engaging with her. Most people won’t listen to her and talk about topics with her because she bulldozes others. He is not bulldozed and will engage. Instead of Hermione speaking into a void, or foisting opinions on an unwilling audience- she has Ron there. He is offering her companionship. She obviously LIKES this companionship- even before their friendship she relentlessly pursued him and Harry to ‘help them’ and ‘correct them.’ She is a willing participant in this- and with Ron finally has an audience for all her thoughts. She seeks him out. At first he did not want HER companionship- but they bonded and he changed his stance.

He’s not just a silent audience- he participates- sometimes he’s agreeing with her. Sometimes he’s debating with her. Sometimes he’s laughing as she gets outraged and stamps her foot. But he’s there with her- Hermione chose Ron and Harry as friends. Her choice speaks very loudly. She could choose to never speak to Ron and only be friends with Harry. When she was icing out Ron in DH for a bit she did just that! But throughout the books she engages with him and visa versa.

4) They are fiercely protective of each other and have a bond/trust there that few could compete with

I mean, this is something througout the series- they are always willing to make sacrifices and help each other out- facing things they might not for anyone else.

Ron is the only person to see to Hermione’s needs most of the time. He is the only one to push in third year to learn why she’s disappearing so often. He is the only one to volunteer to help with Buckbeak’s petition. He is the only one worried about her dating some dude they never met who is legally an adult (yes a lot of it is jealousy- but I’m shocked he was the only one to be like ‘Um, no one else finds this problematic???’) 

He’s making sure she eats properly, defending her left and right (got tons of detentions from Snape for all his defense of Hermione, faced his worst fear for her (spiders in the woods with broken wand), slugs with Draco etc) When Hermione is crying over her parents, it’s Ron who immediately is by her side with a handkerchief holding her as she cries (same at Dumbledore’s funeral.) When Hermione is tortured, it’s Ron who carries her body away from their and gets her the medical care she needs (and who offered to take her place before the torture began.) Hermione is able to emotionally lean on him throughout the series and does- and Hermione looks out for Ron in this same way (though not to the same extent.)

When he’s being tortured with ‘Weasley is our King’ she is kissing him to distract him, when he’s hurt by his brothers she is standing up for him and helping him out (Percy’s letters, the twins being mean about his prefect status), they are entwined at Dumbledore’s funeral, and she’s holding him when he mourns Fred.

They intrinsically know how to be there for one another.

5) They are attracted to one another

This we don’t get as much insight on, as the two are so repressed it’s ridiculous- but the two of them obviously are attracted- they’re always vying for the attention of the other- are plagued by jealousy- and Ron even tells Hermione she looks great. The two blush at compliments and just are attracted.

6) They have a passionate reparte they can’t find with anyone else- where they complete the picture for each other

Each bring something different to the table- but they

Hermione offers her intelligence, hardworking nature, and drive

Ron offers cleverness, strategy, companionship, self-sacrificing, and loyal

They both offer honesty, passion, kindness, loving natures and companionship.

The two of them bicker- but we see in the books they are SHOCKED when people see them as ‘fighting’- as seen in OotP and Harry yells at them for fighting and look highly offended at being cut off and chastised like this.

The two of them keep each other honest, and have personalities that make a rumble everywhere they go. People like to think the two of them bring out bad qualities in the other- acting as if Hermione is a quiet sage intellectual who maturely goes about life until Ron comes into the picture. No. Hermione is unsubtle, pushy, abrasive, argues with a lamppost, and condescending. She’s also incredibly smart, passionate, and kind. She’s an emotional train-wreck a lot of the time who doesn’t have much in the way of interpersonal skills- she’s either quiet and kowtowing to authority figures, or pushing at people.

Ron on the other hand is not some chill dude until Hermione comes along. He’s passionate, always ready to throw down, is brash, and calls out anyone on their bullshit within a square mile. He’s also sensitive, loving, and self sacrificing.

The two are lions through and through with everyone- and that includes one another- but they work so well together because they enjoy passionately tearing into subjects, passionately loving one another, and taking on everything from monsters to parenting Harry. :P

Few people could deal with Hermione’s fiery nature- which again seems to be ignored in much analysis. People like to project and think of her as some lofty intellectual who is all cool logic, forgiveness, and objective. No. Hermione has never been that. Read the books and you can see how she is ruled by passion over her intellect.

I think people criticizing Romione a lot see relationships as something that should be all about shared interests, objective discourse, and perhaps some level of attraction. How very ‘Spock’…

They personally read arguments with any emotion/passion/loudness as negative. As a Latina, I gotta say- LOL. My poor poor husband. He comes from a very uptight white family where everyone is quiet and never expresses an emotion much at all. Like that John Mulaney bit- ‘I will keep all my emotions right here [points to chest] and then someday I’ll die.’ So the first time we had a debate and I was loud he was SHOOK. Now he knows- oh, wait, she’s loud all the time- like any time she’s passionate about a topic she’s loud. Ok! It’s like the ‘My Big Fat Greek Wedding’ family. They just loud.

That’s how Ron is (and all his family are!) and that’s how Hermione is.

They genuinely like one another (as shown time and time again how they smile at each other’s actions, value the other’s opinions, admire one another’s actions) love one another (as shown by how VERY much they go to pieces when the other is in danger/hurt, how Ron even said it in the books) and bring out something good in each other.

Ron is coded with female traits, while Hermione is coded with male traits in the series- he’s the emotional caretaker (making tea, feeding people, putting pjs on an injured harry, allying the group with emotional enthusiasm), while Hermione is the brain (helps with exposition, spellwork, gives answers to solutions and riddles.) Together they are the perfect team.

The two of them are awkward humans at times, and they are able to make it work. Hermione is able to look past Ron’s flaws and deeply admire him, while keeping him honest and really bringing out his intellectual side that he’d probably neglect left to his own devices. He is able to look past Hermione’s interpersonal flaws and deeply admires her, is able to make her see other sides to equations she doesn’t think about, and brings out the fun side of Hermione she would DEFINITELY neglect without his presence.

Dating for Ron is hard due a bit to social awkwardness, but it mostly comes down to his insecurity due to his familial upbringing (That was continually reinforced at hogwarts- the message of ‘you’re not good enough,’ ‘you don’t matter.’)

Despite some differences and disagreements, Ron and Hermione understand one another. The respect they have for one another goes very deep (though I think Hermione has some growing to do in this department when it comes to verbal validations.)

You see throughout the series that Ron admires (and does NOT ONCE SHOW JEALOUSY OF) Hermione’s abilities. He compliments her on them in every single book. Hermione is also pushing Ron to live up to his potential (Which she think is large- because- hint hint- IT IS) and gushes over how brilliant he is towards the end of book 7.

Relationships aren’t supposed to be easy, but as far as Romione goes- their relationship IS easy the majority of the time. The upsets they have as teenagers are silly and fun for a plot and overblown, as are most of the interpersonal dramas in a fictional kids adventure book. Objectively, they have so much good and little bad- subjectively- they have passion and love.

Ron is one of the most multifaceted characters in the book. He’s not just passion/emotion/loyalty- he also has an incredible strategic mind, is instinctively brilliant with magic (always picks up on magical stuff the other two don’t like the taboo, or his ‘predictions’ about stuff that always come true, or how he broke gamp’s laws when he made a mushroom.) In some ways Ron is entirely confident in WHO HE IS, and refuses to bend or change for anyone- and in other ways he’s completely insecure and certain that he is hated. He’s brave, but anxious. He can be rude, but he also will fiercely protect. He wears his emotions on his sleeves, but never verbalizes his insecurities. He’s the fun guy- but also the one who will literally let himself get killed so you can survive. Like, Ron is such a great interesting multifaceted character. Just the sort of interesting, provoking individual to never let the ever passionate Hermione get bored with. She could never get bored with someone with so many different modes. She can sit and analyze situations with him for hours, but she can also laugh with him as they explore shops for hours. They are adaptable together.

[stonecoldhedwig]

Gryffindor Types

Gryffindors get a bit of short shrift; we’re always just made out to be overzealous jocks. But, the diversity among Gryffindors is quite remarkable.  

Harry

Incredibly forgiving. Like good LORD look at all the people he gave grace to despite them being utterly horrid to him. Not just the big ones like Dumbledore and Snape, but people like Seamus in 5th year, or Ron during the Triwizard.

Stubborn as hell. Like, so irritatingly stubborn that I want to throw the book across the room.

Harry really struggles with something I think a lot of Gryffindors do, which is that there isn’t necessarily an intrinsic balance to the universe. We believe in the right thing, and justice, and therefore find it hard to tackle the fact that sometimes there’s no cosmic consequence to evil.

Basically just a sweet lil cinnamon roll? Like the poor kid can’t cut a break, but he soldiers on regardless.

Really, really loved Ginny, and was also willing to hurt himself in order to protect her. Starting from CoS where he thought he was dying of the Basilisk bite, right up to the final battle where he runs toward Bellatrix - Harry knows where his heart lies.

Bravery: walked into the face of death in order to save other people. Never once had a problem with sacrificing himself for other people. The spirit of his mother lived in him.

Ron

Loyal to a fault - stands up for his friends and family, in a sort of Hufflepuff way. Unafraid of mockery when he believes he’s doing the right thing.  

Of the three of them, Ron is the one who has absolutely no qualms about apologising for his failings. Ron is honourable.

Can be brash, and tactless, and thoughtless, but also possesses a lot of common sense and a really good heart. He’s more Molly’s son than he realises.

Struggles with the impact of 5 brothers and only 1 sister; at times can be unintentionally misogynistic, to not just Ginny but also to people like Hermione.

Ron essentially acts as the foil to Peter Pettigrew. Ron could have been just like him - always the butt of the joke, “Harry Potter’s stupid friend”, etc. Ron chose to be different, chose not to fall back on the fact he was a pureblood, who could have easily been courted by the Death Eaters by making him feel important like they did to Peter.

Bravery: you’ve got to be courageous to step outside of both the shadow of your family, and the insecurities you have about it. Ron encapsulates the idea of “try, try, try again.”

Hermione

Incredibly, ridiculously smart. Has many Ravenclaw qualities (like McGonagall), but also learns when to put down the books.

Passionately fights for those she sees as oppressed. Goblins, House Elves, you name it - she might not like them, but she sees them as her equals.

Knows that a Gryffindor who uses their head is just as important as a Gryffindor who uses their fists.

Prideful, and can be patronising, particularly at the beginning. Learns how to see the world through other people’s eyes, even if she doesn’t really understand them (e.g. the changing way she treats Luna, or Ron, etc.).

I see a lot of Lily Potter in Hermione. Brilliant Muggleborn, who fell for a man she didn’t expect to love, and who had the fate of the wizarding world essentially thrust upon her. Took it in her stride. Was a badass.

Bravery: Understood that there were things that were worth fighting for, and was willing to do it. But always, always tried to ensure that innocent people weren’t hurt: obliviated her parents to protect them, cared for the House elves, stood up for the kids Fred and George were testing WWW on, etc. Even insisted on putting Muggle money in the till at the supermarket during DH, even though they had the cloak and could just steal.

Ginny

Fierce. If you don’t want to be Ginny Weasley when you grow up, reevaluate.

Loved Harry for just being Harry, not because he was The Boy Who Lived, or because he was wealthy, or because he was famous. Rather like James loved Lily, she just loved him from the moment she saw him.

Feminist AF. Knew she loved Harry, but also knew that she didn’t have to mope about waiting on him. Dated other people, had a good time doing it. Didn’t take Ron’s shit about it, either.

Stood up for people. She often resorted to a stereotypically “Gryffindor” way of doing it (her famed Bat Bogey Hex, for example).

Definitely had Slytherin qualities, too (Ginny is like Fred/George, or Percy, while Ron is much more like Bill and Charlie). She could be shrewd and cunning, and even a little unkind at times. She struggled to find her place in the world, and that made her angry and hurt, which the Horcrux took advantage of.

She was sixteen in DH. Let that sink in. Sixteen. All the things she’d achieved by that point already, all the things she’d been through.

Bravery: Ginny is true to her own integrity in everything, whether it’s vanquishing Dark wizards, standing up to her brothers, loving Harry etc. She does what she thinks is right, thank you very much.

Neville

quiet, shy, often demonstrates a lot of Hufflepuff qualities.

Sword. Of. Gryffindor.

If there are Gryffindors who use their fists, and Gryffindors who use their heads, then Neville is a  Gryffindor who uses his heart. He’s thoughtful and kind, but passionate about the right thing. He also has intense loyalty to his parents, even though he struggles with both their legacy and their insanity.

Bravery: like Dumbledore said, it takes a hell of a lot to stand up to your friends. Neville did it often (not just in PS, but also in cases like OotP when he asks Harry if the DA was just a game, or whether it meant something).

Fred & George

Hilarious and mischievous.

Certainly had a spiteful streak, but their courage was in trying to temper it for good. Their ire was almost always targeted at the right people (e.g. Umbridge), but their sense of humour made everyone fair game. A touch Slytherin, in this regard.

At times they put people in danger, for good and bad reasons.

Bravery: it takes guts to laugh in the face of danger. It takes even more to make sure you’re making other people laugh while you do it.

Percy Weasley

Ambitious, smart.

More like Fred and George than he realises, in the sense that they are two sides of a coin. F&G are what happens when you combine courage/chivalry with anarchy; Percy is what happens when you combine it with dogmatism.

Struggled, in many ways, with the burden of being a Weasley and a Gryffindor. He followed Bill and Charlie (aka a Head Boy and a Prefect; Charlie was Quidditch Captain and a star Seeker), and therefore tried to make a mark of his own. Confused being loyal-to-the-rules with being right.

When he admitted he was wrong, it was not half-hearted. Saw the error in his pridefulness.

Bravery: it’s hard to admit you were wrong. Courage is more than knowing that you screwed up, it’s being willing to own up to it.

Lavender Brown

Scatty, almost a bit like Luna

Willing to understand that wisdom and learning can come from unexpected or unusual sources (e.g. her enthusiasm for Divination)

Could be a stereotypical teenage girl - obsessed with her first boyfriend, spiteful to Hermione at times, etc.

Bravery: gave her life at the Battle of Hogwarts, dying in a truly horrid way at the hands of Fenrir Greyback.

Bill Weasley

Badass.

Knew how to combine responsibility with fun (Head Boy, but also a Cursebreaker with a dragon-fang earring).

Was unashamed to love a girl everyone thought was wrong for him… and in doing so, proved exactly why Fleur was his perfect match.

Bravery: Lived with the consequences of his attack with good grace. Didn’t let it make him bitter. Trusted Harry, even when he didn’t understand him.

Charlie Weasley

Trained dragons.

No, read that again: trained. dragons.

Could have played Quidditch for England but went off to do what he was really passionate about, which is training dragons.

Bravery: I point you once again to the dragon training.

Lily Potter

Wasn’t ashamed to admit that she had got James all wrong. Learned how to love him.

Believed in the right thing, ardently. She saw the way that power and greed and ambition can turn a good person into a bad one, and utterly refused to play that game.

Lily is where Harry gets his sweet-cinnamon-roll-ness from. Under all her fire, there’s a sweet baby angel, and I will not be convinced otherwise.

Cut off her oldest friend at Hogwarts, Snape, because of doing the right thing: “you’ve chosen your way, I’ve chosen mine.”

Bravery: without Lily’s sacrifice, Voldemort could never have been defeated. Her dying protected her son in order for him to fulfil the prophecy.

James Potter

Brash and arrogant, but a real heart of gold.

Loved one girl, and one girl only, ardently from the day they met to the day they died. Was unequivocal about it.

The similarity between Snape and James is that both of them were essentially little shits. A lot of people are when they’re teenagers. James thought he was the bees knees because he was an all-round golden boy; Snape thought he was superior to everyone because of his cleverness and ambition. The difference between Snape and James is that James saw the error of his ways. He learned to turn his arrogance into something powerful and good. Even when Snape turned on Voldemort, he never actually gave up his belief that he was fundamentally better than other people - look at the way he treated Harry, Hermione, Neville, Ron etc.

Bravery: it’s hard to change. Like, really hard. It’s hard to become better. James did that, and then some, willingly sacrificing himself and telling Lily to take Harry and run, in the hope that his wife and child might survive.

Sirius

Endured 12 years in Azkaban for a crime he didn’t commit, and his only priority was making sure Harry was safe.

Risked life and limb on multiple occasions for Harry, because he knew that was the way to honour James and Lily’s memory. Died the same way they did - protecting their son.

Could be petty, even mean, at times.

Bravery: Walked away from a life that would have been easy - money, status, privilege, the Black family name - to one that was difficult, painful and heart-wrenching. Lost everyone, everything, and still came back to fight for the Order. Sirius’ bravery was not about who he was, but who he chose to be.

Lupin

shrewd, thoughtful, and kind. Essentially a blend of all the Hogwarts houses.

Suffers a little from the same thing Percy does (and to an extent, Harry): he cares so deeply about the right thing, but he often struggles with how to express that (e.g. running away from Tonks and the baby until Harry calls him a coward).

Incredibly talented in DADA, naturally inclining him to Gryffindor.

Bravery: he’s a goddamn werewolf, guys. He still manages to believe in the good side and doing the right thing.

[saiangelo999]

2020 T.V Show Tracker

T.V. Shows

The Witcher 

Started 2019 finished 2020. Click here for my thoughts.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Completed - I really enjoyed the episode with Pimento, that episode was just hilarious. I think that was one of my favourite episodes this season.

Self Made

It was very a enjoyable mini-series. Sarah's story is so fascinating and inspirational precisely because of how many hardships she had to deal with throughout her life. I enjoyed the show and learning more about Madam CJ Walker.

Interior Design Masters

This was a really fun show. I didn’t agree with everything that the judges said, but I definitely had fun watching the contestants renovate commercial and residential places. My favourite episode was when they worked on the stores (not restaurants). I really loved those transformations.

The Big Flower Fight

It was such a fun show! I really enjoyed watching how the contestants used plants to create beautiful and interesting topiaries/sculptures. I loved most of the contestants and was always looking forward to their take on each challenge!

Space Force

It was a fun show! Enjoyed watching it with my sister.  :)

Hannibal

Re-visiting this show from the one or two episodes I watched back when I was in grade 12 and one of my teachers was promoting this show because her friend was an extra in it. But, I really am intrigued by the concept, the way the show is filmed is just so gorgeous for such a gory show and the plot is very fascinating. Anytime Hannibal feeds anyone I get a bit antsy. But Will Graham is just such an interesting character. I have high expectations of the show!

Update: Finished s1 and LOVED it! As I was binging s2 I started to get nightmares and also the plot started to move forward at a snail’s pace (imo) so I will put this show on hold for now.

The Umbrella Academy s2

So I really enjoyed this season of Umbrella Academy because I got to see more of Five kicking ass as a teenager, the character growth of BOTH Diego and Luther, seeing the entire family getting closer to Vanya and the general action sequences of the show. I enjoyed the new characters as well - Lila and The Swedes. I admit my memory of season 1 of this show is somewhat vague, but I found that the ending of the season (its climax to be precise in episode 10) to be somewhat lackluster considering the build-up. 

I really enjoyed was seeing Klaus, Allison and Vanya deal with their respective subplots and that scene in the barbershop with the three of them bonding really was a highlight of the season. Also when (spoiler alert) Ben finally ‘died’ and went to the afterlife that scene was so well executed and emotional and has got to be one of my favorite moments of the season. It was nice to see him helping Vanya out.

The Haunting of Bly Manor

I loved this show! I grew to love these characters so much! I loved Hannah and Owen’s relationship so much.

The Haunting of Hill House

So, I read the book first and wanted to see what the hype was all about. I really enjoyed the little easter eggs to the book in the show, and that ONE SCENE with the ‘Bent-Neck lady’ gave me a nightmare... It was good, definitely an interesting take on the story.

Anime

The Disastrous Life of Saiki: Reawakened

I love how the show constantly shows us that Saiki will tolerate anyone for the sweet sweet coffee jelly. I need more of this show!! Please give me more episodes @Netflix.

Haikyuu!

I love it. I understand the hype now. I really enjoy how they show the lives of all the people in the show, the ‘extras’ on the team, the opponents and give us a glimpse into their lives and their stories. I finished season two and am looking forward to more! It’s honestly so hard to be rooting for just one person in this show and I love that.  Finished 2 seasons so far. Will get back into it eventually. I’m honestly jealous that I can’t play volleyball rn.

Mob Psycho 100

This will probably take me a while to finish as I am planning to read it before watching it. It’s so so lovable. I love Mob and I would do anything to protect him. Also I really like Regen’s protectiveness and genuineness towards Shigeo. It’s just a great manga/anime. Finished season one. It is so addicting! I love Mob and Reigen so much! <3

Update: finished season two. Man watching this show makes my heart grow 5 x as big every time I watch it! It’s just so endearing, fun, comedic. I love how season two really just show’s Shigeo’s growth throughout the season. His speech to Shirazawa at the last episode and how it came full circle - loved it! I also was surprised by the red headed son (Ryu?) in the best way. I hope we see more of him in the next season. Can’t wait for more!

Fruits Basket season 2

Can’t wait for more crying. 🙃 I am really looking forward to seeing Yuki’s character development and his relationship with Machi and Kakeru developing. Also looking forward to seeing Momiji growing and more moments between Kyo and Tohru.

Update: Love seeing Yuki’s arc in the anime format. Seeing him reach out to his brother, Hatsuharu and the student council peeps and grow is so rewarding to watch. Looking forward to more and more Kyorhu. One wish is that, I wish with this season we could see Momiiji change physically a bit more but I’m holding onto hope for that near the end of the season. 

March Comes in like a Lion/ 3-gatsu no Lion

It’s not my usual type of anime to watch as it is so slice-of-life, but in a weird way it really reminds me of My Roommate is a Cat except after I watch it I want to play chess or learn shogi. Of course, Rei has depression and a lot of issues he needs to work with, but the sisters are just so sweet and the moments that they show up to take care of him are so heartwarming. I love his self-proclaimed ‘best’ friend and rival - Nikaidou. I just really love how he’s drawn, his personality and when he shows up in the show it definitely perks me up. I really enjoy seeing him develop as a character and as a person. I am somewhat sympathetic to the plight of his foster sister but where I am in the show (finished s1) I absolutely loathe her. I really like seeing  how many people are around Rei and watching him tackle life and grow. Looking forward to watching s2!

The animation is very interesting. One thing that I am not sure if it is deliberate or not is how the characters’ facial expressions (mostly the way the mouth is in close-ups) are drawn to me seems very ambiguous to me - I can’t quite understand what emotion is being conveyed.

Update: Started s2 and man the bullying storyline with Hina is so sad.

Teasing Master Takagi-san

DNF. Just started it randomly. It’s very cute.

The Great Pretender

I started it cuz it was short and seemed like fun. It has darker undertones than I expected going into it. On the Singapore storyline.

Wotaku

This was very short and binge-able. I liked it, it’s fun for what it is.

Dramas

Never Twice

So idk if I’ll actually keep up with this as it is a guilty pleasure atm. I just started it because I liked some of the tropes that the show had (found family, sweet male lead, baby being doted on etc.). I am enjoying the gifs of the show. The plot is very... boring and I do recognize that for the most part the female characters don’t have much intrinsic motivation or identity outside male characters... 

05.2020 Update: DNF. 

Crash Landing on You

I am really enjoying it so far. I really like that both the female leads are just very powerful and interesting on their own. Really like how the found family trope is being used. The romance is cute (a bit much at times imo). I still can’t get over how Captain Ri heard her suicide tape and just went ‘oh we are fated to be together’. That was... an interesting interpretation of the tape...

Also the whole thing with her being in N. Korea is hilarious and really the drama asks the viewer to really suspend disbelief to enjoy the show but  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Update: Completed. Enjoyed it overall. Wasn’t the best drama I’ve ever seen but REALLY loved the female leads in the show. Seo Dan and her family are just SO adorable. Can’t believe Gu Suengjoon was killed just as his relationship with Dan became so cute. One qualm is that this show does the whole near death thing WAY too many times with the main couple for my taste. 

365: Repeat the Year

Interesting premise and it has Nam Jihyun who I love. Looking forward to more and hoping it will keep my attention. I can’t believe that by episode 10 that the serial killer was revealed. I mean, I’m still invested in the show but that definitely caught me off-guard.

Finished it! I am really glad that they reduced the total amount of episodes because I felt that the ending was well done - not too rushed, not too out there (for the show). It was a very good ending for the show! I recommend it to anyone interested in a sci-fi/thriller. Overall, it was a fun time! Very engaging and would appeal to anyone interested in thrillers. I do have ONE gripe about the show which is a spoiler but it did not prevent me from enjoying the show. 

Love with Flaws/ People with Flaws

Finished! I started it cuz of a random compilation I saw on Youtube with the show and the gifs of it here and there and it’s decent overall. I would say that out of the many kdramas I’ve seen in this genre, it does stand slightly apart from the rest because of how each character is portrayed. I feel like there were no overt archetypes for the characters and I especially liked how they portrayed characters relationships. I liked how the siblings’ relationships were portrayed, and I really ended up loving the female lead’s eldest brother. He’s just so sweet and kind and I love how he does his best to take care of their entire family. It was definitely sad to see at points knowing that Cha In Ha committed suicide, but his character in the show was just so well done and important! Also his boyfriend is literally so pure I love him. As usual Seulgi just makes me go  😍😍.   

Nobody Knows 2020

It’s really good - very dark and bizarre. The shady foundation’s motivations are a mystery to me, but that hotel owner is a very interesting character. I will get back to it when I can handle more pain.

Update few months later: The twists and the turns though. Wow. I love all the children and how (so far) they are all portrayed as victims of circumstance. They are so sweet and I appreciate how Eun Ho, Dong Ryong and Min Sung’s relationships progress throughout the show. I’m also enjoying the character development of Sun Woo (the teacher/heir to the foundation). It’s also nice to see Cha Young-Jin begin to slowly open up. I’m enjoying the show a lot so far and am very intrigued by Baek Sang Ho’s group.

Final update: FINISHED it! Really loved this drama a lot. I love how all the characters are written so lovingly with so much depth to them. I liked the way the plot unraveled, I liked how all the relationships developed in the story, I loved the way forgiveness and morality were discussed. It was a really good drama and I am missing it already!

Chicago Typewriter

A re-watch. Man I love this drama. The three leads and their relationship is just adorable. 

I hope that in Shin Yul’s world/afterlife or whatever they can be happy together. <3 

Oh My Baby

I started this out because I was extremely bored and saw a few gifs of the show. It seems promising. Don’t have super high expectations of the show tbh. I do like the main couple though! They are adorable, nervously awaiting how it will conclude.

Update: Skipped a couple of episodes (4?) and went to the end. It ended up alright, very open ending and somewhat realistic. I’m glad the main characters were able to put their relationship above their disappointment in being infertile.

Strangers from Hell/ Hell is Other People

I really enjoyed it!! - If I were to recommend it to anyone I would recommend they go into it as blind as possible to enjoy it to the fullest.

So... I had no clue that this show was ONLY 10 episodes long, so imagine my surprise as the events that have been put to play begin to climax, I checked and was surprised that it wasn’t a 16 episode drama. Anyways, this drama had superb writing, directing, acting and fight scene choreography. Everything came together to really make this show have such a dark, creepy atmosphere that intensified as the episodes went on. I loved how the show portrayed how Yoon Joon Yoo/O’s mentality was tested to the breaking point. Tbh I thought he was slow in the beginning of the show (episode 1-2), but turned out that he did far better than his counterparts. I think that one thing that was a shame was they didn’t really show the strength of his relationship w his girlfriend too much before, and had they had more screen time as a couple I would have been even more invested in the story. 

Mystic Pop-up Bar

Loved it! This was a really enjoyable show. The pacing was good, the story was interesting and I liked watching the characters relationships develop. It was heartwarming and a fun watch! I enjoyed the focus on various people’s stories showcasing all sorts of relationships. 

It’s Okay Not to be Okay/ Psycho But It’s Okay

Put it on hold for now - watched up until episode 10-12ish.

Flower of Evil

The best kdrama of 2020 so far? Possibly.  Love how it mixes being a thriller with the marital relationship aspect. One potential con is that it seems that the mystery aspect of the show for now seems fairly obvious but how the situations will be handled keeps me on the edge of my seat!! Also I totally did not expect such a strong marriage to be shown in a thriller drama! Also the way that Cha Ji Won is written is just chef’s kiss. I love how complex she is, how intelligent, kind, caring and so so good at putting things together. I love Hyun So’s family and I hope it ends with them staying together.

Update: Finished it! Not sure how I feel about the very last episode... but I can say I’m glad that Do Hae Su got some crumbs in terms of character development by the end. So glad she didn’t end up with Moo Jin and started a new life abroad. The amnesia plot was unnecessary imo, I would have rather seen more cute scenes of them together than angst in the last episode. But, it was interesting to see how the trial was revealed, and the Baek’s got way better than they deserved which is unfortunately realistic.

Lie after Lie

Plot sounded way more interesting in the synopsis vs the execution. Mediocre plot which I thought was easy to see through.

Eighteen Again

sort of dnf? I made it to epi 14 or so and just finished it in my head and through gifs. It had so much potential which I think it squandered... but there were some genuinely heart warming scenes from the show which I really enjoyed. (Siwoo and his dad bonding, all the scenes showing the mc as the nicest dude).

I don’t want to be friends with you

I really enjoyed the show. I liked how it portrayed the mother-daughter relationship, the differences in how they were raised and how Li Jing Bu was able to get the love she so craved through her dream?/journey. I liked how the romance was handled, how she gained such meaningful relationships during the show and how important it was to her that her mom was happy.

The Good Detective (2020)

I really enjoyed this show! It was really cool to see a show that critiques the corrupt systems they have in place and the unexpected consequences that it can have on people. I liked how it touched on themes of guilt, remorse, forgiveness and resilience. Also, it was interesting to see a guy who has all the money in the world choose to be a workaholic detective.

Part 2

[theangrypokemaniac]

Sinnoh has massive flaws as an era, although it's starting to feel like the good old days compared to the present piss-poor offerings.

The major drawback is the amount of 'recurring characters', ones not good enough to be in it fully, but inflicted upon us nevertheless.

I did care about Ash. I did care about Team Rocket.

I was prepared to care about The Misty Replacement, as in the girl shipped with Ash.

I was prepared to care about The Brock Replacement, that is the older brother figure who does all the cooking, carries the medicine, and knows about Pokémon.

I don't give a toss about extras who outstay their welcome.

Hoenn only had Drew and Harley. What was wrong with that?

There are just too bloody many.

Why does Dawn require so many opponents, as if she's of the greatest importance? Why won't Jessie suffice?

I accept the necessity of Paul as The Rival, and we were at least permitted to resent him initially, before the writers fanboy'd like there was no tomorrow.

I admit I liked two of them. They therefore featured the least.

Typical.

Nando

The Blondel of Iberia

A softly-spoken, raven-locked troubadour, roaming the many pathways of life, playing his songs for those weary travellers he encounters on the road.

He's wearing a cloak! The finest use of material to ever be invented!

All this ethereal grace considering the dub lumbered him with the most appallingly unsuitable name possible.

It could've been Raphael, or Dante, or Leonardo.

Oh no, let's name him after a restaurant chain. That adds gravitas.

His lyre pays tribute to Mew, because Nando knows she's The Rarest Of All Pokémon, thus refuses to be impressed by any deformed horse like Arceus throwing its weight around.

Damn straight.

Ursula

A pretty girl with lovely clothes and the spark of a proper personality.

You're not wanted round these parts, love.

I have no particular animosity towards Dawn, but it irritates me how the world revolves around her whims, where if she's lost in the woods, it's a major disaster, and if an attack heads in her direction, she must be protected in case she shatters.

It makes a refreshing change to find someone firmly inoculated against the lures of the temptress.

Also, alongside Ursula from Dinosaur King (the real Jessie), I'm glad of any attempt to reclaim that name, considering most of my generation, upon hearing it, think only about evil old octopus women.

As for the rest?

It's that bad I prefer the Unova bunch to these.

Reggie

Reggie is even more of a knob than Paul. As above, being Ash's enemy meant that, if only by narrative, he was intended to be somewhat disliked.

Not Reginald. No, he's the kind one.

Oh really?

When Ash and Paul have their showdown, Reg starts wittering that it's just as well Chimchar took up with Ash, since he wasn't suited to Paul's 'battle style'.

Battle style.

Is the what he calls mental and physical cruelty?

In Reg's amoral cesspit of a mind, there is no right and wrong, so do whatever you feel.

Reggie is quite aware of how his brother tortures Pokémon, and not only is he unconcerned, he excuses it with euphemism, hoping the audience will obligingly forget too.

What's more, he implies it's Chimchar's fault for not pulling his weight, and Paul abandoning him was the compassionate thing to do.

Cynthia

Suffering severe Bridge Nose Syndrome.

She may be Champion, but I don't remember Lance turning up all the time where he wasn't wanted.

She doesn't even use her influence properly. Rather than give it straight to Paul, order him to shape up and stop spanking the monkey, she fannies about with her cod mysticism, emptily preaching about how Ash and Paul are spiritually linked, with magical, beeyewteefull events taking form just because they met.

That's right, don't bother about Paul clearly being a psychopath, for 'tis ART!

It's the same as trying to convince me that Ash, Dawn and Brock were the Divine Trio because they all saw Something Nasty In The Lake District, as if they have an intrinsic bond foretold in ancient prophecy.

The writers pull this knowing two thirds of the Holy Trinity, plus Paul the Fallen Angel, will be leaving, at which point we'll be expected to stop being overawed at the great majesty they all apparently possess and transfer allegiance to their usurpers.

What's the point?

Angie

Yet another smackhead from that lunatic stare.

What shining genius decided giving all the characters contracted pupils was a good idea?

She looks like one of those kids whose parents dealt with nits the traditional way:

Shaving the entire head and painting it purple.

A barnet resembling privet hacked at by a paralytic gardener before he conked out.

I've seen her arc three or four times, and I still remember nothing about her, except for the amazing skill she possesses to make Ash sneeze on command from a distance.

Conway

One word: nonce.

A clichéd weirdo fitting into Pokémon's Four-Eyed Freaks fixation, where anyone with a slight visual impairment is a weedy, know-it-all bastard or on a register.

Oh yes, and this lad comes with hidden delights, because his glasses gleam like a giant cockroach, just in case he wasn't creepy enough.

Zoey

The human black hole. Has the incredible ability to suck all the joy out of a room just by appearing. A personage of absolute lead.

Too nice and over familiar, lacking a single detectable personality trait.

Bland, empty, and with the charisma of vomit-sodden cardboard.

Sinnoh is a prolonged saga as it is, padded with nonentities like her and Kenny.

Alright, episodes must be devoted to Dawn's Contest career, however tiresome it is, but why exactly do we need any about Zoey and Kenny? Why should we care?

Every time I sat through a competition Dawn lost, I resented that she was no further along on her quest, equating to another episode eaten away by this shallow, blackened hymn to superficiality.

Compare this indulgent treatment to the sneering disrespect shown to Jessie, an actual main character, who not only had to win her Ribbons practically off screen, but the writers delighted in hammering home how worthless she was in only scraping into the Grand Festival because Princess Salvia took pity on the deluded wretch.

They favour their own inventions over the original cast, then dump 'em as soon as the next generation arrives, so how could they ever matter if even the creators eagerly cast them aside?

After all the effort on my part to put up with the entire witless farce, Zoey beats Dawn in the finals!

Why?!

I understood the unspoken law of Ash not being allowed to win a League until the very last series, for fear whatever came after would be anticlimactic, but why should this deadening failure apply to May and Dawn?

By the culmination of the Contest rigmarole, it's obvious they'll be making their exit for the next region's Girl, so why couldn't either bid farewell to the fans with a victory?

Why must they be incompetent too?

Even if achieving their dream dampened any hunger to carry on, they're departing anyway, so what difference does it make?

At least Ash will continue, but for May and Dawn, it's the end.

How could any fan be satisfied with a smarmy vacuum of a creature like Zoey succeeding instead?

Barry

Eyes of molten evil.

The second-worst character ever created (Iris is top of the ranks), Barry is a smug, arrogant, screeching dweeb jabbering his oh-so endearing catchphrase about fining anyone who slightly irks him, so sure is he that his feelings should come above everyone else's

He truly believes he has a God-given entitlement to demand lesser lifeforms should arrange themselves to suit his pleasure, that they are morally compelled to shield him from  meagre inconvenience.

Twat.

Knocking the little geck out of the League was the most noble thing Paul ever did. It practically redeems him.

This is what I cannot comprehend:

Ursula is openly conceited, rude to Dawn, and brags about her own excellence even after losing.

We're asked to dislike her.

Barry slags Ash off constantly, is convinced of his own divinity, and jeers at Team Rocket.

We're supposed to see him as a 'good guy' and welcome his arrival.

Why? Are Ash and Team Rocket fair game, but offending Saint Dawn's intolerable?

Again, it astounds me how temporary, region-specific stars seem to count for more than those who've been here since the beginning.

Whilst they're here, that is. Once gone, you wouldn't know they'd existed.

Kenny

He wears a matador outfit to compete.

It's a crying shame Tauros was never given the opportunity to gore him.

As usual, it's Piplup I blame.

Each generation likes to flaunt the starter Pokémon, presumably in the hope of flogging more games, that's why Ash usually catches all three, or they're spread out amongst his friends.

It's about time Team Rocket had one.

Can't do that, they only appear five times per series now.

Piplup is a whiny attention whore who refuses to evolve. In consequence, he can't advertise the next stages in the evolution chain, so we have to keep seeing Barry and Kenny instead, that's why Empoleon and Prinplup are always walking about.

This equates to three characters having the same Pokémon, albeit in different incarnations.

There's variety.

However, Kenny's true purpose is much more grim than that.

Fans will ship Ash with The Girl, a useless endeavour when it's destined to come to nothing when she's kicked out.

In Hoenn and Sinnoh, an effort was made to wean shippers off in preparation for the upcoming split, so alternative suitors were introduced, with the girls effectively pushed on to them.

May got Drew.

I don't mind that. He had some refinements.

Dawn got Kenny.

...

What, you want me to cheer for such a revolting couple?

Have I not suffered enough?

What unpardonable crime did Dawn do to deserve such a horrible fate?

She's not a bad-looking girl. She can do better than an ugly, portly, shrunken, pie-faced cretin! 

You do this to me when Nando exists?

Sod the age gap, that never concerned anyone here.

This being the Kenny who spends four years belittling Dawn by constantly reminding her of a humiliating childhood experience, even giving her a nickname too!

Dawn is visibly distressed when he does this, but he's a fine candidate for romance?

She has to settle for a sweaty, lecherous herbert like him, who doesn't even try to atone for his unfortunate mug by being kind?

I suspect the whole Sinnoh adventure was really him wearing down her self-esteem until she believed he was the best available, wanting her to be grateful for his slobbery attentions.

It won't stop there either. He'll trap her for the rest of her life by isolating her from friends, followed by accusations of how undeserving she is of his 'love'.

Such is Dawn's lot: absent father, pushy mother, whinging penguin and abusive boyfriend.

Kenny's already a perv:

He's not looking at her face.

She knows he's not.

Ash and Pikachu have noticed an interesting feature further down.

Aipom likes it too.

[coeurdastronaute]

Giant Ch. 20

Chances are we are the same; Against the odds, against the grain We lean, like gardens toward light. We reach with all of our might For such a noble aim as love.

The year following the attack, almost to the day of Lillian Luthor’s seventh birthday since her death, James Olsen climbed the stage for his second Pulitzer for his efforts in photography for his emblematic image of Superman’s silhouette carrying his slain cousin.

The image ran with a memorial issue dedicated to the hero who gave her life in the service of others. It was stylistically simple and intrinsically violent and jarring to look at, while at the same time haunting to all who saw it.

The image was immortal. Tattered cape dragging, tinged a different crimson from blood, royal blue crusted over with dirt and the gore of the fight. When he looked at the picture, James felt nauseous, but still, he snapped it that day because it was Kara’s legacy, and he was as fiercely protective of it as he had always been of her, in his own ways.

In his speech, he swallowed a large knot that formed in his throat and gripped the podium to support himself. He thanked everyone for the honor. He took a deep breath and he told the world that he was forever touched by the hero and friend, Supergirl. He told her about how she was a beacon of hope and other clichés, but more than that, she was simply good and honest and inspired the best in himself. He left little doubt as to the magnitude of the loss for himself personally, which doubled for the feelings of the city and nation as a whole.

From the stage, James stared at the picture projected on the wall as he mourned his friend. The ballroom was full of rapt eyes who all belonged to someone who held the heaviness of a shared grief.

It’d been an entire year without a familiar garnet cape, without someone to save them from the minutia of their lives, and the city was different for it. People still got mugged. Cars still got stolen. Banks still got robbed. But beneath the normal wear and tear of a city, a renewed sense of civic duty and pride and responsibility wafted beneath the city. In their own way, people were kinder, people were more attune to their role within the community.

James applauded it as he honored his friend, and he thanked them once again, for keeping her memory alive and living in a way that would have made her proud, because that was all they had anymore.

As he took his seat, he spent the rest of the night avoiding the giant image he’d taken, averting his eyes. It was too much to see her body, and he wished, for the love of everything, that they’d chosen the picture of her smiling instead.

LCorp sold for, in its tiny pieces, well north of a few billion dollars. Even with its reduced price tag as a result of the unfortunate attack, even after an ample donation to the survivor’s fund, even after providing for its employees, there was still more than enough money for someone to live for a hundred lifetimes, very comfortably.

On the night before she signed the papers and took the deal her board created, Lena Luthor sat in her office, behind her desk, and drank from her glass, allowing the alcohol to burn her throat and amplify her mood.

An entire life’s work, and there was nothing left to do. The papers were prepared and she was finally free of it all, of everyone and everything, and she knew what came next in the broad sense, while at the same time, she really had no idea what the next hour might hold.

After the attack, after the memorial that was ruined, yet again, after it all, Lena had nothing left to give to the city, nothing left in her to apologize anymore, even though not many were asking for it from her. The city deserved a break, deserved her not intruding herself upon it in the tallest building in the city with her logo on everything and her last name etched on the sports teams and the ads on every bus. The city deserved to heal, and as selfish as she wanted to be and keep it her own city, she just couldn’t.

Second only to shooting her own father, Lena did the best thing she could for her home, and she prepared to take herself out of the equation. It’d once been a hope of her’s, to feel less obliged to blood and name. All at once, she was free, and she wasn’t sure what that left. Not entirely.

The streets held ghosts now. More ghosts than she was capable of tolerating, she realized, when she took the time to be honest with herself. The streets were downright packed with things that kept her up at night and weighed upon her soul.

And so she took another drink, emptying it, and listened to the memorized sound of her glass on the surface of her desk in the last hours of the night. But she did not move to get up just yet, as she normally did. There was no more normally or usually for Lena Luthor.

There wasn’t one particular thought that pervaded her mind, just that there was a lot to think about in general, a lot that she hid from, a lot that she refused to even let in her head, which was an exhausting mental work out. But beneath it all, she thought about the hollow feeling of losing everything and how failure felt like a relief in nearly every way.

She fiddled with the empty glass, swirling the last drops, and debated having another. She perused the normal papers and folders that always seemed to litter her desk during working hours, inevitably to be cleaned up by Jess before she returned. Only today she wouldn’t return. As soon as she left, someone would come and pack up everything, emptying the office completely. And Jess wouldn’t be there. She hadn’t been there in weeks. That thought made Lena smile despite everything else.

She rose and wobbled slightly before emptying the rest of her decanter into her glass and replenishing the ice so that it twinkled and twanged as she sat down with a sigh. For a second, she debated calling her friend, just to catch up. She could have. She was curious to see how Jess was enjoying her new position as a Director of Marketing at another firm. But she couldn’t.

Instead, she stared at the pictures that remained sitting there on her desk, looking back at her. Her mother seemed far away. So did the grief. She couldn’t remember it exactly, when it happened, but she did remember the sunset on the beach and Kara’s nose against her shoulder, the heat of her words as she laughed and tried to make Lena feel better. That was tinged in an ache, but she knew it was a dull throb compared to the flesh-eating nature of losing her mother.

Her mother was kind, was good to her, chose her, and Lena did what she could to make it worth it. It took a few therapists and a superhero to convince her that she was a damn fine legacy. She didn’t believe it often, but from time to time she was okay with it.

The picture of her family was the greatest source of pain in her life. She looked at her brother’s smiling face, that natural, large smile that reached his eyes. Even covered in paint, even hyped up from rooting for her, she saw this life in him that she always admired. Now, he was rotting away in a cell, deep underground. Now, there was a stiffness to his features, a weathered pain that remained there. She hated to think of him like that.

Her father was still that doting, proud kind of dad, who cheered at every game. At least in that picture. Scarf wrapped tight around his neck, his hair was long enough to be almost curly. His eyes had that innocent kind of mischief in them as he had his arms around his entire family.

Mud still on her cheek from a tackle. Ponytail coming out and flyaways in all directions, the college sophomore was a happy that Lena almost couldn’t fathom. The former CEO stared at herself, at her former self, long and hard as she cradled the glass of vodka against her neck and jaw.

There were a few pictures of Lena and Kara on her desk. She couldn’t help it. She loved to catch herself looking at her. She liked their history. Kara, the brave. Kara, the strong. Kara, the beautiful. Kara, the caring.

The first day that Lena Luthor met Kara Danvers, she had no idea that history was forever altered. Kara knew. She liked to rub it in from time to time. But Lena was fresh from practice, and she gave the cute reporter an extra look and an extra smile, that was certain, but she never imagined her as more. Until she spent time with her.

It took months for Lena to realize she was in love. She wasn’t like Kara; she wasn’t prone to love easily. She could love ferociously, it just took time. But by the time she figured out she loved Kara, it was too late to turn back.

Her favorite picture of them was a tiny little one from Kara’s old camera she occasionally brought out. It was a tiny little picture, and Lena yearned for it to be larger. But in the moment, forever captured, Kara pressed her cheek close. If Lena pretended, she thought she could trick herself into smelling the sunshine on their skin.

Sometimes, in magazines or at events, she would see a picture and realize how in love she was all over again. Sometimes, she was young and drunk on a water tower, and she was yearning to kiss Kara so badly that it physically hurt.

Lena downed the glass of vodka completely as she thought about Kara before standing and placing the empty cup down again. She grabbed a picture from her desk and placed it in her purse before leaving the desk once and for all.

For one final time, she looked at her office before closing the door and making her way downstairs. It was hard to not think about the hours spent building it, piece by piece, brick by brick. But as the elevator descended, Lena felt a serene wakefulness, a new hope, a melancholic kind of ending that was not bittersweet so much as just something that was needed.

The doorman held the door open and nodded politely to her. And with a final glance toward the sky, toward her empire, Lena Luthor climbed into the waiting car and disappeared.

The sun finally climbed higher than the horizon, finally brought on another day. The windows were all open, the breeze blew in and lifted the long curtains. From his spot on the chair near the windows, the cat stretched and yawned before burrowing deeper into the morning sun that began to warm his belly.

A few stories below, the street was already awake and full of life. A far cry from the high rise he was accustomed to, Darwin scratched his chin with eagerness, and shook his ears before arching his back and walking across the living room.

There were boxes still stacked against a wall that he rubbed his chin against. The spare bedroom and future office held even more unpacked treasures, though he didn’t particularly care about anything else. Silently, he padded into the kitchen and rubbed against the bare leg that was attached to the body reading the paper lazily as she waited for coffee to brew. When that daring display of begging didn’t take hold, the cat jumped to the island and nudged a chin with his head.

“Good morning, buddy,” Lena chuckled at his antics.

With an extra scratch beneath his chin, she sipped her coffee and flipped the page of the newspaper lazily.

The night that Supergirl died, and entire city was speechless. The death of Lionel Luthor was retribution, and she was the martyr who stopped him despite the cost, for them. Everyone remembered where they were when she was killed. It was that kind of history; she left that kind of legacy.

To Kara Danvers, it was a welcomed reprieve. Many times she’d heard that death was to be a new beginning. She never took it quite so literally, but it worked. Supergirl died so that she could be free of it all, so that she could start her life for the first time, yet again.

The breeze pushed against the sheets in bed.  Lazily, Kara stretched and rolled toward the empty spot where a certain girl should be waiting and still asleep.

Outside the open windows, the bus squealed to a stop a block over while a gaggle of children held hands and sand something as they made their way to school. The smell of coffee and tea and breakfast wafted through the narrow street and into the bedroom. And all that Kara could really hear was the sound of the shower running as a cat hopped up into the bed beside her.

Still oddly sore from dying, Kara pushed herself out of bed. She ran her hand along the scars that were now on her body. Her hand automatically went to the jagged cut right above her ribs, where she rubbed it gently and stretched her back.

Still groggy, she took the cup of waiting coffee and retreated to the balcony where she inhaled the city. Three weeks ago she died. Two weeks ago, she put in her notice at CatCo. Last night, she arrived in Buenos Aires, and had Lena Luthor jump into her arms at the airport, looking much more like herself than Kara could remember seeing her. Gone was the weight of the world, and in its place was the same girl who used to drive her crazy with physics problems and soccer practice.

“Morning,” Lena greeted her as she toweled her hair and joined her on the balcony.

“Hey, you’re up early.”

“I wanted to head over to the new shop for an hour or two until you woke up.”

“Sorry I ruined your plans.”

“This is better. I can take you and show you that café that has the good yerba mate near the new set up, and maybe get you some food.”

“You know I like the sound of that,” Kara nodded as arms wrapped around her waist and a nose found a spot between her shoulder blades.

The sun was high, Supergirl was dead, and the kids who once had a random conversation once, when each were full of their own kind of grief, were in a faraway city, with a new home.

“Are you ready for this?”

“For what?”

“For… for our new life, I guess,” Lena tried.

“The one we should have had.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m very ready,” Kara hummed.

[sarah-bae-maas]

A Court of Hearts and Darkness Chapter Twenty Three

It’s been over a century since the epic and bloody war against Hybern, but a new, unprecedented horror lies in wait to threaten everything the Inner Circle holds dear.

At a mere 17, it seems that the only one who can save them is the Heir to the Night Court, Feyre and Rhysand’s daughter Eleana, but as a creature so vile promises to kill everyone she loves, she must combat the urge to succumb to the darkness herself. The key to success lies hidden within her mate, the bastard born Kaden, who is as oblivious to the bond as her Court is oblivious to the war on the horizon.

With the help of her cousin and warrior Felix, the son of the famed Nesta and Cassian, they will try to save everything they hold dear, hopefully before the darkness takes them all.

(This fic was written pre-acowar, so please bear in mind there are some small differences but it can still hopefully be enjoyed!)

Link on Ao3 Masterlist

1 2  3  4  5  6 7 8  9  10 11 12  13  14  15 16  17  18  19  20  21 22

***

-Chapter 23-

Eleana stared in horror at her closed door, the bang from her mother slamming it still reverberating in the room. She was staring at it over the shoulder of Kaden, who had gone still above her, his face the perfect painting of mortification.

“Shit,” he gasped as he pulled out of her and rolled away. He draped his legs over the side of the bed and clutched his head in his hands. “Fuck, Eleana, I’m so sorry.”

She leant up on her elbows, her face flaming from embarrassment. This was not how she wanted her mother to find out, in literally the most humiliating way possible. She clutched the blanket to her chest, covering herself. She blindly extended an arm to stroke Kaden’s back, the male tenser than she’d ever seen him.

“Your parents are going to kill me,” he said.

“They very well might.” Without context, without knowing the full story, it would not be out of the realm of possibility for her father to come storming in like a tumultuous sea of wrath and do Mother knows what to Kaden.

This is not how she wanted them to find out.

“He’s going to be so mad at me,” she gasped. “Not because of you – never because of you – but because I wasn’t honest. He has – he has no idea that I even think about men like that.” There were many thoughts running through Eleana’s mind as she was confronted with the certainty that her relationship with Kaden was no longer hers. Her whole family were now free to nit-pick over it, her parents would now become looming figures of supervision, and with their abilities there was hardly a chance she could keep her mateship a secret.

Kaden stood, shucking on his pants and shirt before gathering some clothes of her own. He helped her in her distraught state dress, and then he left. No more words.

____

Feyre had thrown her coat and gloves over the table, pacing back and forth to try and arrange her thoughts before her daughter came out. The male she had been with had already made a hasty retreat, looking the most embarrassed Feyre had ever seen a person. His expression looked reminiscent of her dear friend Azriel’s when she had once caught him with Mor, and Feyre felt bad for the boy. He’d scuttled out too quickly for her to say anything, and if she was being completely candid, she didn’t know what she even would say to him if he’d lingered.

I know what I’d tell him, Rhys hissed through their bond.

Five minutes passed before Eleana came out of her room, a bright shade of red with silver lining her eyes. Feyre fixed her widened gaze on her, but refrained from speaking.  

“Please,” Eleana whispered. “Please don’t tell father, I can’t bear how disappointed he’ll be in me, please.” Eleana raised a hand to her face and sobbed into her hands.

Feyre looked in on shock at her daughter’s reaction, crying had not been what she was expecting. She thought she was going to have to prepare to fight her blazing daughter, and seeing her little girl crying instead fractured her heart the way only a child could.

“Butterfly…” Feyre approached her a gingerly put her arms around her, the older female tucking her into her side like she was a child again. “He won’t be disappointed in you, he loves you far too much. But I have my concerns. Who is this boy? You seem to be serious with him, and there are precautions you need to be taking.” Feyre eased Eleana away from her and stood with her hands on her shoulders. “You don’t want a child so young, and worse than that if you aren’t aware of his sexual history there are a number of nasty things you can catch. Protection is imperative. I wish you had told me you were thinking about having sex so I could have gotten you the appropriate tonics.”

Eleana sniffled, and wiped at her eyes. “I’m – we’re – being careful. He would never be with me like that if he thought there were any risks.”

“Eleana, who is this boy?” Feyre had never seen him before in her life, and she knew or had seen nearly every Illyrian that lived here in her time over the past century. She had made a point of it, in fact, and was slightly surprised that she did not recognize him at all.

“His name is Kaden. He moved here from another camp a year ago. He had a hard upbringing, his brothers savage in a way that’s hard to comprehend. He had no choice – he left or he died.”

That would explain why Feyre might never have seen him before – although the name Kaden itched her brain as if she’d heard it before. “Are you two serious? Or is he just someone you spend time with for fun?” Either way, Feyre would not judge. She had Isaac when she was Eleana’s age, and every young man and women needs to start exploring themselves eventually. Feyre just wished she hadn’t been here when Eleana decided to do said exploring.

Her daughter scoffed at the question, and removed herself away so she could sit at the dining table. She ran her fingers over it, intently looking at the grains in the wood as if they might magically make her disappear. “I’ve known him for ten months, and in that time have been courting him to the best of my ability. He refused for a long while.”

“Why?”

Refused her? He must be a stupid male to refuse a girl like Laya. He’s too idiotic for her. Rhys was fuming.

Shush, Rhys. Feyre pushed him away with her shields, not hard enough to send him away completely but enough to send a message.

“He’s a bastard of a lord.”

Oh. No further explanation was needed. If he had come from one of the archaic camps then Feyre had no doubt that if he was an honourable male he likely believed himself inadequate for her daughter.  

“He caved about two months ago,” Eleana continued. “He saw me fighting with some misogynist dick and decided it didn’t matter what his parentage would do to my reputation, I was strong enough to handle the backlash if I wanted to. And I wanted to, so badly. I feel like he’s intrinsic to who I am in a way that can’t be fully understood.”

Ten months. Her daughter had been swooning for that long and Feyre’d had no idea. That was around the time of Eleana’s kidnapping, and Feyre realised that she must have met this boy before that even happened, before their lives where upended. Eleana’s infatuation explained a lot of her behaviour, and Feyre might need to have a little chat to Felix about what it meant to lie about her daughter’s whereabouts.

“You quite like this boy,” Feyre said. Eleana was talking about him like she planned on having him around for a long while.

“I do.”

“Then you should probably go get him then. I’ll have dinner ready by the time you return.”

Eleana looked up, her face brightening as her beautiful smile graced it. “Seriously?”

“Off you go.” Feyre waved at the door and Eleana eagerly rushed off to find her man.

Feyre wondered if Eleana would be so thrilled when she realised Rhysand was on his way, as he’d heard the whole encounter, and was livid.

____

 Kaden wanted to kick himself. He should have realised the moment someone else was in the house, especially someone as overtly powerful as High lady Feyre. It was just that when he was with Eleana there was nothing else – no one else – and until now he hadn’t realised how potentially damaging that could be.

He was mortified. To be caught in such a compromising position was alone enough to make his insides shrivel from cringing so hard, but to caught by the mother of the woman he loved, who would now be forced to tell her parents about him when she clearly wasn’t ready? When he wasn’t ready…

He swallowed hard, contemplating whether to run to Felix, Azriel, or just go wallow somewhere in private.

He chose the latter.

He walked towards his tent, running his hands over his face and through his hair. Fuck. Fuck. More than just the fact that they were caught being intimate, Kaden also resented that now Eleana was there alone having to explain to the High Lady who he was. Now, Eleana couldn’t opt out the way she could before, the way he wanted her to be able to if she changed her mind about being with a lowly bastard such as himself.

He was nearly to his tent, the walk talking twice as long as he was so lost in his thoughts, weighing him down and making his feet drag.

He was about to turn down the small path that led to the tents, when something slammed into his back. He didn’t worry, not when he saw Eleana’s hands clutch around his middle and felt her press a tender kiss to the space between his wings. His face, even after all this time, turned red as he blushed.

“Eleana, someone might see.” He smoothed his hands over hers so she would release him, but she clutched tighter.

“I don’t care,” she scoffed. He turned so he was facing her, and pressed a quick kiss to her forehead, smoothing her hair back behind her ears and resting his hands on her cheeks.

“What are you doing here?” Maybe she snuck out to avoid the wrath of her mother – it sounded like something she would do.

“She doesn’t care.” Eleana moved away from him but clasped his hands in hers. “Come home with me, and let’s have that dinner I promised.” She started dragging him back to where he had just come from.

“Eleana, I need more of an explanation than that.” His words may have been serious, but just the sight of her while he had been having such tumultuous thoughts had set a wide grin on his face.

She didn’t stop walking. “I explained who you are, and she doesn’t care that I didn’t tell her sooner or that I’m with you. She just wants to meet you, and know that I’m being safe.” Just short of the turn that would make him face her house clearly but from a distance, she slowed. “I know this is sooner than we anticipated, and I’m so, so nervous, but I have you. And I know my mother will love you just as much as I do,” she said earnestly.

“You think she’ll approve of me?” he asked in response.

“Definitely. With that smile and those dimples she’ll be as lost a cause as I am.”

“You’re not worried at all?”

She squeezed his hand in reassurance. “Not with my mother. My father though… we’ll worry about that when the time comes.”

They turned the corner, and Eleana halted, her eyes widening in something just falling short of fear.

It seemed that time had come.

Kaden’s pulsed started racing quicker as he saw Eleana’s home engulfed in darkness, and not her sweet, lovely kind. Even from where he was he could feel the rage that was fuelling the blackness that weaved in and out of windows and doors, simmering through every crevice and swirling back in again. It was like a storm cloud during a hurricane had wrapped around Eleana’s home, and he was fucking terrified.

Her hand moved to grab his shirt, and she pulled as though she might very well try to fly away with him in tow. Before she could move another step though, her front door opened to reveal the High Lord in all his unglamoured glory.

Kaden had only seen the High Lord in person once before – but again, Eleana had been there, so he didn’t take too much notice. He hadn’t even remembered to bow.

Eleana hesitantly smiled at her father, and knowing there was no escape now, they started walking toward the house.

The High Lord was the most intimidating person Kaden had ever seen. He was tall, not as tall as Kaden but he stood in a way that made it seem like everyone else was an ant to him. He was wearing a fine suit, dark material with silver embroidery, and his shoes were polished so well Kaden would likely be able to see his reflection in them. His hair was the same hue as Eleana’s – a blue so dark it was mistakenly seen as black, and his eyes were the same intense shade as his daughters. The most notable thing though was the horrific smirk on his face, more a strategic baring of teeth, aimed directly at Kaden.

“Father, what are you doing here?” Eleana asked as they reached the house proper.

The High Lord’s smile became gentle as he looked at his daughter. “I came to see you, Butterfly.” His face and tone blanked. “And him.”

Eleana tried to meet her father’s gaze, but the High Lord was too busy sneering at Kaden.

“Be nice, Papa,” she whispered to him.

“I’ll be the most gracious host the boy has seen. Please, both of you, come in.” The High Lord marched into the house, Eleana grasping Kaden’s hand before they followed.

The food Eleana had for them was nowhere to be seen, but High Lady Feyre had prepared something else. It was a simple roast with steamed vegetables, something that could only be cooked that quickly with magic. She had set the table for four, and ushered Eleana and Kaden to sit in seats next to each other, with the High Lord directly across from Kaden.

He’s not normally this menacing, Eleana projected into Kaden’s mind.

Honestly? He’s not acting as stubborn as you sometimes do, he joked to try and lighten the mood.

It worked, illustrated by the slight uptilt to her lips, and that was enough for now.

“Let’s chat, shall we?” Rhys picked up a knife and sliced it through the roast, staring at Kaden as he did so.

“I should introduce myself,” Kaden said. He gave them a basic rundown of his life: he was the bastard of a lord across the Steppes, moved here a year ago, when he had met Eleana, so on and so on. He vaguely mentioned that he trained with the Elite, but didn’t go into detail. As soon as he said it though, something flickered in the eyes of the High Lord that he didn’t know whether to be cautious of or not.  

“The Elite? You know our nephew, Felix, then.” High Lady Feyre pointed out, much more pleasantly toned than her mate.

Kaden nodded. “I know Felix quite well.” Kaden looked to Eleana to see if he should divulge more, but she was staring at the table, pushing her food around but not eating any of it. “I would say we’re actually quite close.” Kaden decided there was no point not telling them at this point. If he was now going to be a public figure in Eleana’s life than it was inevitable that his brotherhood with Felix would be revealed.

“Is that right.” The High Lord was doubtful.

“They are,” Eleana finally chimed in, albeit quietly. “Felix considers him a brother; he’d do anything for him.”

Rhys raised an eyebrow, but didn’t push the matter further. “We’ve established who your father is, but what of your mother?”

Kaden swallowed hard. He felt a finger tap against his own, and flicked his eyes to see that Eleana had linked their pinkies in silent support.

“My mother was a fae from Hewn City. She… died, soon after my birth. I don’t remember her. As a half-breed, you can imagine that I wasn’t allowed in the city for long, and my father took me in as an infant.”

At that, the High Lord’s tense face changed. He shared a look with the High Lady, who said, “My own mother died when I was very young, and Rhys’ was also taken far too soon. It’s not an easy thing – growing up without a mother. Were you close to much of your family?”

As Kaden looked at the High Lady, he realised that she was not someone he needed to be afraid of. Of course, if he ever hurt Eleana that would be a different story, but he didn’t plan on doing that. She was being kind, almost gentle with him, and it made him wonder what Eleana may have told her in those minutes right after he had fled the house.

“I had one cousin, Talysa, that treated me fairly. But it was not until I came here that I felt for the first time what it was like to have a real family, and people who unconditionally cared about you. Felix has been amazing, right from the very first day. Stubborn as anything, but a very loving sort of stubborn.”

The High Lord laughed at that, his whole being becoming brighter. “That reminds me a lot of my brothers Cassian and Azriel. Az was so quiet when he first moved in with us. By then Cass and I had already established these weird habits of dealing with each other, but then Az came and just threw us off completely. After that we were inseparable, and bloody Cass would never stay out of people’s business, especially Azriel’s.”

Remind you of anyone? Eleana snickered to Kaden.

His only answer was a smile, and he continued listening to the High Lord.

“… and Azriel didn’t even care! He welcomed the attention! I caught my mother tearing up on multiple occasions, and we, so young but nearly the same height as her, would crowd around her to see what was wrong but she was just happy.”

The High Lord smiled.

And that smile was everything Eleana was. The light she had as an intrinsic part of her had been taught to her by her parents. He could see it in the way they smiled, the way they laughed. The High Lord looked at High Lady Feyre the way Kaden had seen Eleana looking at him countless times.

Ten minutes ago, he had not been ready. He was now. For it all.

_____

 The rest of the night continued rather pleasantly. Rhys warmed to the boy, even though there had been multiple occasions where he’d screamed at Feyre through the bond for referring to this male as their daughter’s partner. Rhys still cringed at the term, but he wouldn’t eventually. Maybe. He’d see. It would take time for him to get the idea out of his head that this male wasn’t just trying to take advantage of Eleana.

There was also something about the boy that irked him in a way he couldn’t properly describe. It was an unwelcome feeling of familiarity, sparked by his name and by, weirdly enough, the shape of his nose. It had set Rhys on edge the whole evening, despite it being a somewhat pleasant one.

Their meal had long been finished, and they all shared equally tired looks, especially Kaden. Most notably though had been Eleana’s silence throughout the whole meal. She rarely spoke, and when she did it wasn’t in her usual rambunctious way. Rhys was desperate to talk to her, to get some answers on why she had been with this man for so long and hadn’t told him, but he wanted to wait until they were alone.

As Kaden got up to leave, he bowed deeply and thanked Rhys and Feyre for the night. Rhys watched the boy walk his daughter to the door and press a sweet kiss to her cheek, his eyes locking on hers as his thumbs lightly brushed her cheeks. Rhys had seen that look before. The two were having a conversation through their minds, and although Rhys was curious he didn’t invade their privacy by trying to listen in.

Kaden left, and Rhys found himself relieved when he did. The boy was nice, there was no doubt there, but for Eleana? For his little girl, the one who as a child would chase butterflies, dance through the Rainbow, the smartest, most beautiful young women in Prythian… Rhys did not think this boy enough for her. Although in the boy’s defense, he thought no one good enough.

Feyre grabbed his shoulders from behind and leaned forward to kiss his cheek. “I’m going to bed.”

You better not leave before telling me goodbye, she ordered him through the bond.

He acknowledged her with a nod, but didn’t take his eyes off his daughter.

He knew this day would come, the day where she started claiming men and owning her body, but even after seventeen, nearly eighteen, years of life he still saw the baby that would blow kisses at random people in the street and wave at anything that moved. Rhys didn’t know if he was able to let those images go, if he was willing to accept that she had grown into a person he as no longer completely familiar with.

Once upon a time, there was not a thing he didn’t know about his daughter. But he had been gone for too long, and there were pieces of her scattered across this camp – a whole other life – that he could spend the rest of his time trying to collect and still have pieces missing. Was this something all parents faced? Cassian never spoke about Felix like this, but then again, Felix was very different to Eleana.

Rhys spoke her name softly, and she responded with a deep shudder that ran through her body and a supressed sob.

Rhys’ eyes widened in alarm and he was at her side instantly, holding her tightly against him. She put her arms around him and squeezed, the way she used to when he was there when she woke up from nightmares and couldn’t stop crying.

“Please, please don’t be mad at me,” she hiccupped. “I know you’re disappointed in me and I know you’re mad, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I wasn’t ready.”

Rhys brushed back her hair and shushed her. “I could never be disappointed in you, I love you too much. I’m just surprised, Laya. I had no idea this was going on, and I don’t like that there’s this distance between us.” The emotional distance, but also that she was so physically far away.

Rhys took a deep breath. “I think it’s time for you to come back to Velaris. Permanently.”

Eleana stilled. “Excuse me?” She moved back from him, over an arms-length away, and the chest fallen girl from moments ago was gone.

“There is no reason to continue being here. You’ve learnt all you can from the Illyrians, and it’s time to come home now.”

Eleana blanched. “Is that right?”

Rhys could feel Feyre listening in from the other room, tapping on his mind every now and again to remind him she was there observing.

“You’ve always missed Velaris, and if you were home around the fae-”

“Oh fuck off.”

Rhys was taken aback by her language, but she continued too quickly for him to scold her for speaking to him like that. Usually, he wouldn’t have minded, but right now he wasn’t in the right head space.

“You don’t want me home so that we can be reunited as a family, you want me home so that I’ll always be under the watchful eyes of my aunts and uncles and so I can’t pursue this very real thing between Kaden and I. That’s bullshit, and you know better than to try and force someone’s hand like that.” The air around the two started to simmer with wrathful magic, darkness leaking from both of them.

“This has nothing to do with that boy.”

“His name is Kaden.”

“This has to do with needing all my family back in Velaris. This isn’t new to you, Eleana, I’ve already expressed that I wanted you home and away from here. I know this may hurt now, but if this male is the one for you it’ll work anyway. And if not, there are plenty of fae in Velaris to choose from when you’re older.”

That sparked a rage in her so monumental that she screamed, “You have no right, none, to dictate these things! As much as you deny it, that you hate to admit it, I am not a little girl. I am a grown woman, and nothing you can do can take me away from the man I love.”

“I’m not going to steal you away like some monster-”

“And yet that is exactly what you are implying! If you take me away from Kaden, from the person I love and trust with my heart and soul, then you are no better than High Lord Tamlin when he tried to take mother from you,” she sneered.

Cauldron, Rhys didn’t even know she was aware of that.

Feyre was knocking on his mind again, urgently asking if he needed help. At this point, both he and Eleana had filled the room with thunderous shadows filled with an electric static. Rhys declined her request, mostly because he was two seconds away from just grabbing his daughter and winnowing back to Velaris.

He took a step toward her, but stopped.

Everything did.

He saw Eleana, so strong and yet before his eyes she crumbled into herself and fell to her knees, her cries no longer indignant but tortured in a way he had never heard before. No nightmares, no pain, had ever made his daughter cry that way she was now.

He banished his darkness, and dropped to the floor next to her. He pulled her to his chest tightly, his hands shaking from worry. He wanted to ask her for an explanation, was about to apologize a million times over for what he’d said and how outrageous he had been, but before he could she spoke words he never thought he would hear.

“He’s not just some boy,” she choked. “He’s my mate. He’s my mate and he has no idea but I knew the moment I saw him.”

At that, Feyre stormed out of the room she’d been eavesdropping from so she could also lower herself to the floor to bundle Eleana in her arms. “Never. You will never have to leave him. Everything will be okay. We’re sorry.” Feyre kissed the top of her head. “Since your father is so lacking at explanations,” she glared at him over Eleana, “he forgot to mention that we had already decided to seriously consider coming back to Velaris. All this means is that once young Kaden has finished the Bloodrite, we would like him to come too. He is half-fae after all, it’s time he discovered the other side to his heritage.”

She looked up at them. “You understand?”

“Of course,” Rhys and Feyre both said.

“I’m just – I’m so frustrated. I don’t want to tell him. I want him to realise on his own. His whole life, he’s never had any choice in what happens to him. But he can choose this, choose me. And I know he will, but I’ll be damned if he doesn’t know it’s one hundred percent of his own volition.”

Rhys looked down at his daughter, and in this moment recognized more of himself in her than he had in years. He knew exactly how it felt to have a mate you love endlessly who isn’t aware of your bond, and he wished more than anything she had told him so he could have supported her through this time.

“I can’t leave him.”

“I know,” Rhys whispered to her.

“I love him.”

“And that will be one of the greatest joys in your life, Butterfly, and I’m happy you found it so soon.” Feyre looked at Rhys again over their daughter, no worry to be seen but instead unfiltered relief.

_____

 It took a few hours, but eventually Feyre and Rhys calmed down their daughter enough for Rhys to feel comfortable leaving. His head was still spinning, and he knew where he needed to go to be righted.

He flew into the atrium of the House of Wind, winding through the corridors and halls before he made it to Cassian’s office. He knew his general would be working late, they were on the cusp of a major weaponries trade deal with the Continent, and Cassian had been meticulously going over the details for days now.

Cassian was there with his infant daughter slung across his chest in cloth, rocking her gently as she whimpered the way all young babies do late at night.  

“Things not go well with Feyre?” He smirked. Cassian knew Rhys was meant to be away with his wife.

“The night definitely didn’t go to plan.” Rhys sighed heavily through his nose.

Rhys didn’t understand how Cassian could be so effortlessly good at parenting. Rhys once thought he was quite good at it, but after the spectacle tonight he was doubting himself. And here Cassian was, juggling three children like it was nothing. Felix was an amazing young man, Quathryn sweeter than the finest candy Velaris had to offer, and little Thea a blessing from the Mother.

“I need your advice.” Rhys pulled up a chair in front of Cassian’s desk and rested his head in his hands.

“Need help in the bedroom? Thought so.”

“Oh fuck off.” Rhys said, unconsciously mirroring his daughter’s words from earlier. “Something major has happened.”

Cassian studied Rhys in concern: the dark under-eyes, the slumped shoulders, the crinkled clothes. “What’s going on?”

“Eleana –  Eleana has found her mate.”

Cassian lurched in surprise. “No fucking way.”

“Yep. I handled it terribly. I feel like an awful father.”

“How do you know?”

“She confessed it after Feyre caught her… with the boy.”

Cassian immediately knew what Rhys meant when he said with the boy and cringed in sympathy.

“Have you ever met or heard of a male named Kaden in the Elite? He said he was close to Felix, but he could just be saying that to try and impress Feyre and I.”

Cassian’s eyebrows rose in recognition. “Kaden? We literally spoke about him last week.”

“What?”

“That’s the young male I suggested we move to Velaris for political training so I might one day have him as an ambassador, diplomat or general. And he’s not lying about Felix; the two are like brothers, just like us when we were young.” Cassian voice was laced with shock. “I shouldn’t swear in front of Thea, but holy fucking shit Rhys.”

Rhys did remember the conversation he’d had with Cassian, and it had been basically an hour of him giving a glowing recommendation for this one soldier he desperately wanted in Velaris and under his wing.

“He’s an extraordinary young man, and the things he and Felix will do when they’re older will change the world. I have complete faith in him. And I can’t forget to mention how much Nesta loves him, she has a little bit of a crush. So does Quathryn.” Cassian smirked at Rhys. “I know you well, and however you reacted was probably far more dramatic than the situation called for. But damn, Eleana and him are mates. I didn’t even realise they were together.”

“It’s recent. And he doesn’t know about them being mates either, so keep that information to yourself.” Rhys thought coming to see Cassian would ease his mind, but it only made it swirl harder.

Cassian sneaked a glance around his office, and then leaned forward like he was about to reveal his deepest, darkest secret. By now, Thea had settled and looked like she was having quite the calming sleep while snuggled up to her father’s chest. “While talking to Kaden today, did you notice anything peculiar about his appearance?”

Rhys frowned. “He has an awful lot of scars for someone his age, but that’s about it. And, this is stupid and I fully recognize that, but there was something up with his nose? I can’t put my finger on what it is though. It’s a perfectly normal nose.”

“I’m going to tell you something, and you have to swear on your life you won’t tell anyone I told you. Especially Azriel.”

“Okay.” Rhys replied hesitantly.

Cassian opened his mouth to talk but was interrupted by a dark voice from the corner of the room.

“That’s not your news to share, Cassian,” Azriel bit, coming out of the shadows.

Both Rhys and Cassian leaped out of their chairs.

“How long have you been hiding in the shadows? You scared the shit out of me!” Cassian hissed with one hand pressed over Thea’s ear so the noise wouldn’t wake her.

“Only long enough to see you were about to drop the bombshell I was.” Azriel stalked forward but bypassed them, instead going to the cabinet that held Cassian’s secret supply of whiskey. He poured himself a glass, and turned wearily to his brothers. “Don’t bother filling me in on the day’s events, I already know what happened.”

“You have spies that would know?” Rhys asked incredulously.

“Better. I have a nephew that was there.” Azriel took a deep swig of his drink.

“Felix wasn’t there.” Rhys replied.

“No, but Kaden was.” Azriel ended his statement by tapping his nose three times with his index finger, mirth in his expression.

It took Rhys four beats of his heart to go, “Oh. Oh.”

“If you’re wondering, yes, Eleana, Kaden and Felix know. Also, Mor and I consider him like a son, and we expect you to treat him as such.”

This was too much information for Rhys to handle all at once, and he looked at Cassian to see if he was in the same state of disbelief. Cassian though, didn’t seem too fazed.

“You knew,” Rhys scoffed at him.

“The nose gave it away.” Cassian shrugged.

Rhys joined Azriel at his side and poured himself a very overfull glass, skulling it with barely a cough. The alcohol seemed the only remedy for his sudden dizziness. “My brain hurts.”

Azriel clapped him on the back. “You’ll get used to it.”