#what other gay immortals are there? @ me your favourite queer immortals

[yusakiiiii]

The Crossover really was something. Here’s one of my favourite interactions. What’s yours?

Scott: I hate the gays!

*Joe Hills begins shooting Scott*

Scott: Joe I can say that! Joe I am gay!

Joe Hills: Okay, so not everybody has that context. My viewers don’t know that. I don’t know that.

Scott: I am very gay which is why I’ve said that Joe.

Joe Hills: That is a valuable bit of context to provide

Scott: I’m aggressively homosexual. I’m very aggressively homosexual Joe I thought everyone knew. It’s kinda my brand.

Joe Hills: There’s a lot of inter-audience cross pollination right now.

Scott: I did appreciate the aggressive nature you took right away though, that was a good ally.

Joe Hills: I do what I can.

Scott: I thought Joe when I said I’m gonna say the one slur I can you’d have picked up.

Oli: Did you say a slur?

Scott: No I didn’t. I said when Jimmy was copying me I was tempted to do it and then I said “I hate the gays” and then Joe decided to shoot me cos he didn’t realise I was gay. Even though I’m aggressively homosexual.

Joe Hills: I don’t have time to know every gay person!

If you want to watch this properly. Go to the 2:40:00 mark in this video: https://www.youtube.com/live/2heYeEOTqrw?si=a1urB22nQZZPq_tk

[oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat]

So, I Watched "My Roommate is Hades"

Here's some reactions from me as I watch the pilot episode. Maybe be a bit of rant/long post. Told and expressed in bullet points (list).

Trigger/Content Warning: nude/naked mention (vague), all-caps, cursed image, boomer, fire (fake, CGI)

Major Spoilers: My Roommate is Hades (MRIH) [Pilot Episode]

SIR, I HAVE THOSE SAME GLASSES, WUT-

his name is Homer. like the Greek poet, Homer.

FUN FACT: Lehrer means "teacher" in German

Homer Lehrer -> Greek poet name and also surname means "teacher"? oh f*ck yeah

Matthessy? like... like Odessey? or am I just a nerd.

nice theme song ya got there - catchy

"yeah, that Hades" what other Hades would he be, your main audience are all queer as f*ck, we KNOW Greek Mythology

second time to college - good to note

first degree in chemical engineering but went nowhere? love me some "Thomas projects on his characters" content

Homer is a sweetheart, look at him in his little videos on campus, he's ready to learn, a curious poet man

over 10 years since he last went to school, m'kay

"oh sheesh" -> I laughed at his reaction to how long it's been since he was in school LMAO

yeah, some adjustment period, huh?

Homer's lighting is warm hue and Hades' lighting is cold/icy hue

"HEy-" ffs, Hades almost scared me, jfc

why does Homer look scared in Hades' POV but in his own POV, he just looks annoyed?

^hmm, interesting...

ALSO: NEW MEME/REACTION IMAGE UNLOCKED

^I'm laughing, omg-

"doughy mortal" my dude, you make him sound like a pastry

Homer says "mortal rights"

just love the interaction of Homer thinking doughy means he hasn't been working out or something & Hades is like "no, I mean you're soft" and goes on a mini tangent about how he'd die to the easy-feat crocodiles back in Ancient Greece

I have a feeling Hades is gonna talk about Ancient Greece a lot throughout this series - cause it's home

"again with the crocodiles" -> man has talked about crocodiles before, hasn't he?

Hades is an early sleeper, I guess??

^also, 3pm? my dude, that's the afternoon, no need to sleep that f*cking early

love how Hades can just whoosh into visibility from the shadows - excellent for stealing pizza from roommate

"I like my money" OKAY THEN, RICH BOI.

wait, wtf are you doing in college, you f*cking snobby pizza-hoarding mf?

Hades is just walking around with very little to no clothes on, and Homer just closes his eyes and takes off his glasses like "this f*cking dude" in annoyance

"In Ancient Greece, everyone was naked all of the time!" -> everyone in Ancient Greece was also very gay and queer, shut up

^"puppet shows-" WAIT WUT

"You keep bringing up the meaninglessness of mortals' lives." // "To be fair, you're pretty good at bringing it up yourselves."

^I HAVE PERISHED (/pos)

"that's gen z" // "I'm a millennial, I can only be depressed-"

^gonna cry, omfg LMAO

Homer being surprised at Hades' confession that he doesn't want to be here either is something to note; perhaps they both don't want to be the situation they're in, for different reasons

^something to connect over?

Hades misses his doggo

ah yus: brother Zeus says "ya kinda weird bro" and then yeets him into mortal college

"f*cking community college-" I DIED, H A-

mm, love it when Gods get yeeted by their siblings into mortal bodies to learn a lesson - very delicious trope

"yes I did, Benjermin Franklin" // "what the f*ck-"

HE CALLS HIM BENNIE - I'M SOBBING

Bennie is my favourite, omg

never pause this video - oh god

HERE, HAVE A CURSED IMAGE

^suffer with me :3

"college is useless, death is inevitable" -> you would get along with gen z, wouldn't you?

"fate worse than immortality itself" -> using this every time I have a mild inconvenience

Homer has an existential crisis - relatable

"So, upon seeing the ghost of Benjermin Franklin, something broke inside my brain."

^HADES, STOP BREAKING YOUR ROOMMATE'S BRAIN. MORTALS ARE FRAGILE; THEY BREAK EACH OTHER'S BRAINS ALREADY ON THEIR OWN, DON'T ADD TO IT

Homer being like "learning that Gods exist was a shocker, but hey - worse sh*t has happened" is my fav thing about him

^this is him upon learning the Afterlife is real

RIP Homer's Sanity, never had a chance, 2023 to Never

ah yus, Greek God eats grapes like he's posing for a statue made after him. classic Gods behaviour

FLORAL SHIRT - the flower motif continues

love how chill Hades is about the Afterlife/explaining it as if Homer didn't just have his entire worldview and reality break in half

5 rivers, Tartarus, Rive Styx - love all of this Greek Mythology knowledge

^the true gayness comes out when GREEK MYTHOLOGY

Hades doesn't know Beyonce - a true Greek tragedy

"is any of them, idk, nice?" // "eh-"

^that's not reassuring

Homer's Existential Crisis, Part II

scales of judgement, mm

...can we please give Homer a hug? he needs one.

Hades has teal/light blue fire- neat

Homer studied Greek Mythology in school? that's very gay of you, sir.

Afterlife has Purgatory and Cool Kids Club, confirmed

Hades not putting people in places cause grey areas and "too much paperwork" - relatable lmao

I just realized Hades is basically like "back in my day" with Ancient Greece

^is Hades a boomer-

^^OH GOD, HE'S A BOOMER

Homer really said "um morals tho-" and Hades gets angy

Hades complaining about the weird deal between Zeus and Menelaus(?) is funny to me

wait, Hades complaining about Orpheus is funnier, omg-

I sense some "no one listens to me or heeds my advice" angst from Hades

"f*cking artists-" laughing, crying, TIME TO PERISH

"not even mortals listen to me" -> I WAS RIGHT

hmm, a wager? interesting...

this is gonna get so gay, oh dear lord

"little man" -> Homer is short, confirmed

THE FIRE-WHEN-MAKING-A-DEAL TROPE - YUS

Immediately recognized Hermes, the casting is brilliant

gay-ass Hermes, yep

THEY'RE ALL HERE - uh oh-

Persephone is mentioned and then Hades is like "skjhfkajs- I mean, oh really? haha, how is she?"

Hermes being like "I have no f*cking clue" is funny to me LMAO

Hermes is a flirt, confirmed

^he literally winks/flirts with Homer lmao

Zeus heading a fraternity? most canon thing in canon

"if there's one thing I care about less than humanity, it's my family"

^LMAO Hades is an emo edgelord with a literal God Complex

"a living hell... in a bad way" -> why is that funny-

"I JUST WANTED TO GO BACK TO COLLEGE"

the best ending line, lmao

mm, outro

===

Some Overall Thoughts

Because this is the Pilot episode, and Thomas had admitted somewhere that he's not entirely sure how to do what he intends to do, I didn't expect perfection. I was right not to. This is still a very good pilot episode, even with the random things I noticed. It does sound a bit more scripted in an obvious way. Which can be a bit... just eh. We'll see how this goes.

The different lighting choices for Hades and Homer was a nice touch. I appreciate the blue/icy lighting for Hades, as he is portrayed as a cold character. I also appreciate the orangish-yellow/warm lighting for Homer, as he is portrayed as a kind and moral character. There's even some colour themes with them, evident in their student cards. Homer has that beige theme, and Hades has the light blue theme. Hades' fire is even teal/light blue, which is a nice little detail.

The generation jokes were funny (to me, at least), but I can recognize how they'd be kinda blah with other people. Hades seems to be a bit of a boomer (always talking about Ancient Greece in the back-in-my-day fashion), while Homer is a millennial (literally says so in one of his generation jokes). Even then, still funny to me.

^But still, can be a bit flat in the humour department.

I love everyone's distinct personalities already. We have our protagonist, Homer Lehrer, who just wants to go to college and make something of his life; Hades, a Greek God who's "out of touch" with the real world and thus has been sentenced to community college; Hermes, who's a flirty, flamboyant mf with no clue who tf sent the letters or where tf they came from (even though he's literally The Messenger); and we have everyone else, yet to be seen on screen.

The family banter already (between Hades and Hermes) is 100% my fav part about the Greek Deities. Them just bickering like mortal family members would. I love it!

Some lore/theories to think about! Who sent the letters that knocked all of the Greek Deities out and sentenced them to mortality and community college? Why did this happen? Where did the letters come from? How tf did Hermes send himself a letter and then blackout like his amass of siblings & family members? What's the deal with Persephone and Hades? Why won't she talk to him? What happened between them?

What is Homer's purpose of being there, sans him going back to college for self-fulfillment reasons?

How tf did Zeus head an entire faternity so fast?

Homer being roomies with Hades is the funniest sh*t about this entire series.

I do both love and feel weary about the sitcom vibes from this. Sitcoms are funny in their own corny, classic way. It's scripted in a sorta obvious way, but there is a good amount of natural flow to it.

===

Anyway: that's all my thoughts for now. Hope everyone enjoyed this lovely lil pilot. Feel free to share your own thoughts and theories!! I want to hear them.

[edwinspaynes]

What are your favorite sibling/platonic dynamics in TSC? I really appreciate Cordelia and Alastair as well as Gideon and Gabriel, but I think basically all the sibling sets are incredibly well written and deserving of love

SIBLINGS

Probably unsurprisingly, my favourite familial relationship dynamic in TSC belongs to Cordelia and Alastair as well. They're two of my favourite characters, which definitely helps a lot. But I also think they just have such an authentic and layered relationship.

Alastair has done everything he can to protect Cordelia and keep her safe, but at the price of pulling away emotionally from her; the loss is worth her safety to him. But Cordelia, who doesn't know this, feels abandoned by him and talks to mirrors for company. It's a really realistic relationship for two siblings who are simultaneously isolated and living in an abusive household, and I find it fascinating. But there's no argument that there's a lack of love between them, and I adore that so much.

Some of my all-time favourite TSC moments are them in ChoT, when they finally have escaped The Horrors(TM) and are allowed to reacquaint themselves with each other as normal siblings. They're close again, they're co-conspirators again; they're messing with each other and teasing and joking and they're peers, finally, and I love that.

Other TSC siblings I really like are Thomas/Eugenia/Barbara, Anna/Christopher, and Alec/Isabelle/Jace.

FRIENDS

My favorite TSC friendships are essentially every iteration of the Merry Thieves and the Carstairs siblings. I especially am fond of James/Matthew, but even more so Matthew/Thomas and Matthew/Alastair because I'm me. Thomas/Christopher hits every single one of the good buttons, too. Really, it's just all iterations.

I'm also extremely fond of Matthew and Anna's friendship. It's wonderful. Love seeing the absolute unashamed queer vibes from them. True gay/thespian solidarity.

Another friendship I love (totally switching gears) is Tessa/Sophie. They're so lovely whenever they're hanging out and also the SoBH letter Tessa writes to Sophie broke me. I also love both of their friendships with Charlotte, she's a great mentor/mother figure to him.

All six TMI characters also of course have one of the most touching friendships out there. They're the perfect found family, so well-balanced.

The immortals - Magnus, Ragnor, Catarina, and Tessa - also are a great friendship that hits the good spots.

Finally, I can't end this list without nodding to one of the objectively best platonic bonds Cassie has ever blessed us with - Will and Jem. I love the way that Will makes Jem more lively (as he does with almost everyone) and Jem has been a sort of salvation for Will.

[thoriffix]

Can you rec some media with canon queer characters 😌

ofc!! thisll by no means be an exhaustive list but idk what youre looking for specifically so ill break it into categories

my current favs!! if u follow me u know these already lol

the umbrella academy: netflix show abt dysfunctional superpowered siblings reuniting to stop the apocalypse. canon mlm character (pansexual according to his actor) w mlm romance, canon wlw character (lesbian according to someone on the show dont rmr who) w het romance in s1, wlw romance in s2 - this is one of my absolute fav shows at the minute in general its brilliant

the magnus archives: horror podcast abt the head archivist of an institute researching experiences w the supernatural. protagonist is canonically biromantic asexual, in a mlm relationship in s5, and there is another canon bisexual character, as well as (iirc) a canon wlw couple - yall know ive been so into tma lately its so so good, obviously if you dont like horror its not for you but if you do.. 👀

sanders sides: youtube series abt a gay dude working out his emotional problems via personified aspects of his personality. all the characters are gay cuz thas what thomas is baby! - i was hesitant abt putting this cuz thomas is a person not a character lol but if u haven't seen sasi i recommend it its like free therapy but theres songs sometimes

shows!

julie and the phantoms (netflix remake): musical show abt a teen girl rediscovering music after her mothers death w the help of three ghosts who were in a 90s band. canon gay character w a slow burn romance (not yet canon bfs but s2 lets go) - its very cheesy and the musical segments can drag on a bit but its p good overall

lucifer: detective show abt lucifer abandoning his rule of hell to buy a nightclub and beginning to solve murders w the lapd. lucifer is canonically bi/pan, as is his demon pal mazikeen, but queerness rly isnt a focus of the show its more casual rep - that being said its a good show overall, if a little predictable now n then (s1-3 on amazon prime, 4+5 on netflix)

kipo and the age of wonderbeasts: fantasy cartoon set in a future filled w mutant intelligent animals, kipo finds herself lost and has to get home w the help of her friends. canon gay character as one of the mains, canon nb side character - its a rly good cartoon! lots of fun, excellent soundtrack, and the main characters are all poc which is rly nice to see

the dragon prince: cartoon abt two princes and an elf assassin returning a dragon egg to its mother. canon mlm couple, several canon wlw characters, canon nb character - i havent seen the show myself but ive heard very good things abt it!

i am not okay with this: netflix show abt a teen girl discovering she has superpowers and hating it. protag is canon wlw (i THINK shes a lesbian but i havent watched it in a hot sec), developing wlw relationship - ianowt slaps! sad that s2 got cancelled but s1 is real good its a touch spooky and theres a bit of gore/blood so watch out lol

schitt's creek: sitcom abt a rich family who lose all their money and have to move into the motel of a town they bought as a joke. canon pansexual character and canon gay character w one of the sweetest mlm relationships - a rly good witty show w excellent character development for every character!

good omens: show abt a demon and an angel trying to stop the end of the world. every celestial character in it is nonbinary, + crowley and aziraphale have a nonexplicit (ie no on screen pda lol) romance - good omens is such a good queer show none of the characters care abt gender in the slightest lmao, plus the show in general is fantastic (the book is also very good)

movies!

the old guard: a group of immortals fight an organisation that wants to capitalise off their immortality. canon mlm couple - another one i havent seen yet (i will!) but apparently very good

it chapter 2: horror sequel to It, w the main characters returning to derry to defeat pennywise for good. canon gay character in unrequited love - i only say chapter 2 because his queerness isnt referenced at all in the first film, again its big horror and theres no gay romance just gay tragedy but its a good film

love, simon: romcom about a closeted gay teen falling in love w someone over emails. do i even need to state the rep? - honestly if u haven't seen love simon yet what are you even DOING its so good proper fluffy queer romcom, the book (simon vs the homosapiens agenda) is also really good!! so is the sequel (leah on the offbeat) where the protag is a bi girl + it focuses on a wlw romance

the way he looks: brazilian coming of age film abt a blind teen boy falling for the new kid at his school. canon mlm relationship - this doesnt seem to be on (british) netflix anymore so idk where youd find it with subtitles but i rmr liking it a lot!

games!

night in the woods: 2d platformer abt a young woman (well. cat) dropping out of college and coming home to live w her parents + discovering spooky happenings in her hometown. canon mlm couple and i believe the protag is canonically bi? - i will recommend nitw to literally anyone who will listen its one of my all time favourite games, deals w a lot of mental health issues and its absolutely gorgeous w a brilliant soundtrack and rly good dialogue thats witty and serious and realistic (its on steam + switch for sure dk abt other platforms, abt 15 quid i think?)

tell me why: adventure game abt twins returning to their childhood home + findin Secrets. canon trans male character - i havent got around to buying + playing this yet but it looks really good! (its in three chapters + on steam, not sure on price)

other media!

the art of being normal: slice of life novel abt a young trans girl discovering herself. main characters are a trans man and a trans woman. - a good novel! trigger warning for transphobic actions including descriptions of a transphobic attack on the guy, and its certainly not without its faults otherwise, but i thought it was pretty good

the adventure zone: dungeons and dragons podcast by the mcelroy brothers. idk specifics but theres a lot of canon queer characters in it! - i havent listened to taz yet but i know a lot abt it, inc that its good and funny and has plenty of queer rep

theres several more i like that arent listed here but to keep this from getting just ridiculously long ill leave it there :] tried to get a range of genres and medias, hopefully theres something for you in there!

[author-archive]

Author Interview: awickedplacethisis

Name: Simon

Tumblr: @awickedplacethisis​

Where else you can find them: ao3

What is the main pairing you write for?

Harringrove - Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington from Stranger Things

What inspired you to start writing for them?

The obvious tension between them in the show, and all the queer subtext I could see in Billy’s character! Plus, of course, all the amazing creators I found in the fandom. I wanted to contribute too!

Do you remember the first fic you ever wrote?

The first fic I ever wrote was definitely something Harry Potter related. The first fic I SHARED was a Simon vs. fic I wrote when the book came out, when that fandom was even smaller than it still is.

What fic/scene has been the hardest for you to write and why?

Billy’s relationship with his dad is always a challenge for me to write. Because we saw so little of it, and the little we saw was a mess. There’s a lot that hits close to home, whenever I write Billy in general. When I look back to the first time I ever wrote their relationship, I just want to go back and change it all. It’s a struggle, to capture something real, there.

What inspires you?

When I write, I get a lot of inspiration from thoughts running around in my own head, true events or just random things that COULD happen, to me. To someone LIKE me. But also, a lot of the beautiful fanart in the fandom give me real good ideas for fics. Just generally in life, my inspiration comes from fiction, I think. I’ve always read a lot, and that feeling of seeing something on paper that could happen to you, or would never ever happen, having that grip you and keep you in a whole different world, that feeling means a lot to me. Literature plays a big part in all aspects of my life, in the end.

Do you have a writing process? If so, what's it like?

Oh... I don’t think I even know my own process, really. I try to always have something at hand, a phone or computer or notebook, so I can write down ideas as soon as inspiration hits. That’s probably the only consistent thing, I write down all my ideas, big ones or small ones, because I know I forget them within the minute if I don’t. And from there, I usually try to find the “eye of the storm” first. What does the whole fic revolve around? How does it come to that place? Why does it change? Honestly, my projects are messes right until they’re done. Snippets of dialogue here, some author notes to myself there, delusional 2 am writing hidden away in a corner.

How would you describe your writing style?

My writing style is... messy. But that’s why I like it. It’s filled with cut off thoughts and italics, ‘cause that’s how I think. And that’s how I’d like to imagine those characters think. It’s also slightly influenced by the poetry I read, and just other literature in general. All though I try to be careful when it comes to that, ‘cause I’d rather something be plain when it comes to wording, than to be all fancy in a way the characters would never think. My writing style is like mundane poetry, if that makes sense.

Is there anyone that influences your style?

Not really, at least not consciously. I definitely take up tips from other writers, both in fandom and published authors. I see things I like in someone else’s writing and remember it for the next time I write. Something I think influences me a little is “The book of disquiet” by Fernando Pessoa.

What's your favourite line that you've written? This was a tough one, really. Probably this one, from my fic “the first time I saw the ocean (it was in your eyes)”

“to find darker blue in the lighter, specs of green so vivid that it’s weird he’s never seen them before. Maybe he’s never really looked , before.”

It’s really not a deep line or anything, but it really just captures Steve’s unknowing longing. The way he wants but he doesn’t know what. The way he sees so much that he’s never seen before, doesn’t really know what to do with that.

What do you find to be the easiest part of writing?

I don’t know if it counts, but nsfw content is definitely the easiest and non challenging stuff for me to write. ‘Cause just on a base level, it doesn’t really hold any depth. It can, depending on what you do with it, how you write the characters inner turmoil and everythin’. Other than that, I feel like it’s easy for me to write dialogue, all sorts of it. As a theatre kid, scripts have always had a big appeal, I guess.

What's the hardest?

The hardest is definitely getting to the point. I’ll spend too many words on building up a backstory, and then the actual plot just never happens. Backstory can be nice, but some fics call for that “being plunged right into the chaos”, from the start.

Why do you write?

I write ‘cause I’ve learnt no one else is going to give me the fiction I want. No ones gonna write characters like me if I do nothing. Sure, it’s starting, the whole diversity thing. But I won’t sit around and hope someone will write a book or script a movie with characters I can see myself in. I’ll write it myself. Of course, writing is a passion of mine. It’s not just that I wanna see myself on a page or a screen. The way we have languages, ways of creating stories and immortalize them, it’s so amazing to me. And I love it.

Why do you share your work?

I share my work in hope to make someone feel something. I want people to read words I’ve put together and feel things, feel pain or happiness or sadness or hope. Anything. ‘Cause it’s so baffling to me that words can DO that. I also want other people to be able to see themselves in something. A lot of people turn to fanfiction to find some kinda story they can see themselves in, and if I make even one person feel like they belong thanks to my work, I’ve succeeded.

Is there anything you’d like to share from a current WIP?

I’ve got quite a few of ‘em, and too little organization to finish them. Here’s an excerpt from my fic “the first time you said sorry (you used all the wrong words)” - part 2 of my “a series of firsts (in a way)”

“Nothing changes, except Steve can’t stop thinking about it. And he’s great at not thinking about it, but blue eyes and rough hands and deft fingers keep following him. That feeling, too. The one that gripped him, locked him in place. It choked him, left him heaving. Maybe it’s ‘cause it was Hargrove. He’d find some way of hurting him, even if he didn’t pound his face in. Maybe it’s the queer thing. The thing he’s never, ever thought about. The thing he locked away, kept away. Maybe it’s a sign that he’s not, that it’s so wrong that his body protested against it, locked itself in.”

(Italics got removed, but you can imagine I overuse the hell outta them)

Question from an anon: as a gay man, how do you feel about straight women who enjoy m/m fanfiction?

Now, this is quite the heated subject. And I do have a lot of feelings about that. Both as a gay man, and as a fanfiction writer. First, and most importantly, if what you enjoy is not harmful to you or anyone else, it’s okay to enjoy it. I’m all for enjoying things. As a content provider, my whole goal is for people to enjoy themselves. And I’d never restrict my content to one group of people, ‘cause everyone has the right to consume free media, and I want to share my work with everyone.

Straight women have the same right to enjoy content as any other person. Whatever floats your boat, do that. But, one thing needs to be clear. Enjoying m/m fanfiction in itself is nothing more than that. It doesn’t make you an ally of the community, and it doesn’t make you apart of it. Honestly, its just fetishizing. If you consume gay porn, it’s ‘cause it gets you going. If a straight woman consciously searches out gay porn or m/m fan fiction, its fetishizing.

And the extreme fetishizing of gay men in media is a problem. We’ve been given breadcrumbs of representation only to now be used as bait for straight girls who think it’s just sooo cute to see Timothée Chalamet get fucked on screen. And I get angry about that. I get angry that the representation we need is redirected to other people, people who really don’t care about the community as a whole further than their cute gay (and cis, and white) couples. I hate that. But i can’t sit and pretend like I have some sort of moral high ground. ‘Cause I make content that feeds into that. But it’s different, with fanfiction. I make content for MYSELF, and then whoever sees it, good for them. If all of my readers were straight women, I’d be fine with that. As long as they know that all they do is enjoy porn that fits their fetish. Or, if its not the smut, its still to an extent that. Fetishizing or romanticizing a group of people. And you do you, as long as you know that’s all you do.

Enjoy the harmless content you want to enjoy. And fanfiction is harmless. Just, this is the important part, don’t act like you’re doing more than that. You’re not a gay icon or an ally or super woke for reading about two fictional characters who interacted once fuck. You’re enjoying yourself, and thats fine. But in the end, its nothing more than that.  We’re a community, and you gotta stick up for everyone if you think you’re even close to an ‘ally’. Queer folk stick together. And when i say i don’t mind straight women reading my work, I gotta make one thing clear:

My work is to LGBT+ people, from someone in the community. I write because we deserve to see authentic people like us in fiction. And I’m doing my part to make at least one person feel like they can see a character and think “this is me”.

[munsonsduchess]

So, I re-watched The Old Guard, again. Just like my Mag 7 re-watch I made some notes, six pages of them to be exact which is why I’m gonna drop them under the cut so I don’t clutter up anyone’s dash with my mildest of observations and all my feelings for a sad alcoholic Frenchman. 

I love how we’re introduced to everyone, Andy walking alone through Marrakesh and Booker speeding through the narrow streets on his bike. Are we supposed to think they’re strangers or do they know each other

Bookers little smile when he catches up to Andy like he’s so happy to see her again and Andy’s face lighting up to see him again too

Andy spent a fortune on a book because she knew Booker would like it. “First edition Don Quixote, that wouldn’t come cheap” “it didn’t”

“What brings you to Marrakech?” // “Family'' leave me alone I’m already sobbing

Andy honey they’ll still be able to see that picture in deleted photos but you tried and that’s what matters

Nicky and Joe!

Nicky is so happy to see Andy. That little smile. It’s adorable

“You look good” “you look ok” gentle family teasing is the best ok

“Boss”

It’s been a year since they saw one and other and they just love each other so much. No one touch me.

Nicky and Booker betting on the baklava and Joe just sitting there like “let him lose his money it’s fine, he won’t learn and it’s funny”

Everyone teasing Nicky for loosing and he’s just stood there like “no it’s fine ”

These are the best people for the job and Copley knows it and doesn’t care how much it will cost him. He has faith

Copley knowing Nicky is there and the little wave

Andy taking her axe with her. I love that axe

Just a group of immortals walking through the desert with swords and guns nothing to see here

“Peace be with you” those catholic teachings never quite leave

“It’s a trap!”

That has got to hurt. Those guys emptied full clips into them. Like I get the need to do a job and do it well but come on guys that’s overkill

This is what women want. Andy and her axe

Nicky still having faith there are girls

The picture on Copley’s desk. Like if you knew why did you have to go through this bullshit?

Andy has lived too long and seen too much

Like I know now that Booker knew what was happening or maybe he didn’t know the extent of it but him saying sorry did feel genuine

Andy is just all kinds of done. She didn’t want to do the job in the first place

Nile proving that yes you can be in a strange place and you can serve your country but you don’t have to be a dick about it

“Keep it respectful”

She made an effort to learn the language and learn the customs which goes a long way to establish trust

How traumatic must this have been for Nile? She always knew there was a possibility of being injured in combat or worse never coming home but to be injured so fatally and have your friend hold your life in their hands only to come back and be rejected because you’re an anomaly. A freak

Goes a long way to explain Booker’s feelings too

Nicky and Joe sleeping in the train car is something that is obviously so normal for couples and goes such a long way to show people how ‘normal’ queer people are

“What did you see?” “Part of a name tag” thanks Booker that’s helpful

“I felt her die”

“Everything happens for a reason boss”

Booker didn’t want to go after Nile. He didn’t want her involved

Nicky pushing for them to go after Nile. The emotional centre of the group, appealing to their own experiences and feelings from their first times

Andy is not happy and I can understand how she feels. Given their current situation bringing an unknown element into the mix is only going to complicate everything

“I know I saw her die”

No scarring. Nothing to suggest that anything happened to Nile

The seeds of doubt already growing amongst Nike’s friends and allies

Merrick looks like he should have been a doctor who villain who got his shit kicked in by Donna

Copley you asshole what did you think was gonna happen? They were just gonna get clips emptied into their bodies and let the mercs walk away? Use your big boy brain

Nile trying to come to terms with what happened to her. Everyone around her looking at her with suspicion. Even her Sargent who’s sending her away from more tests

The hostility in the barracks. The fact that her things are already packed.

Everyone knows what happened. Nile has never been more alone just like Nicky said

Trying to drown out the noise of the world and decompress and understand what happened“

But you can call me Andy”

Just casually steals a military transport. Nbd

MA’AM PLEASE I AM ALREADY GAY. Riding around in a tank top and shades like that is not helping

“These damn kids” 

Zero hesitation in shooting Nile. This is a woman who has run out of every kind of fuck

“Why does it always have to be so goddamn slow the first couple of times?”

“You shot me” “yes honey now back in the car

”Andy might think she’s cold and heartless and only here to do a job but you can see how much she already cares about what happens to Nile

Soldiers. Fighters. Family

You know what I’m really glad they didn’t make Andy’s tank top skin tight or moulded to show off her body. That isn’t how she rolls

Andy is so proud that Nile stabbed her. Look at that smile

!Nile already having the makings of a plan within minutes of stepping onto the plane

Andy just like “god isn’t real, I’m real though and people thought I was god”

I wonder how many nights the group sat up until the wee hours discussing things like theology. Andy who was worshiped as a god. Nicky and Joe who fought in a holy war for their beliefs and Booker who probably had his own feelings on the subject 

Andy being so chill about the crash. The best poker face

It was a good try Nile and look Andy is proud of you!

The smile on Andy’s face when she’s fighting with Nile gives me so much serotonin

Soft Andy. Who had to be tough to teach a lesson

Poor Nile. Coming to terms with what she is and the fact that she might never see her family again

Family dinner time!

Awkward family dinner time

Nicky and Joe staring at each each other with their puppy dog eyes “we’re meant to find each other”

Then Booker and Andy like “misery loves company”

Everyone’s just like “awh Nicky and Joe are so cute”

Andy reliving the people she’s fought with and lost

Booker knows just how much ‘help’ talking to ones family about the situation is

Booker do not put your finger on the trigger of your gun when it’s still in your trousers! You might be immortal but that’s gonna hurt a lot more

Oh no. Quynh.

Andy’s face. I can’t

Joe in tears telling the story“

Before me and Nicky it was just the two of them”

Booker knowing exactly how it feels to hang there for hours and not die or dying and coming back time and time again. Knowing how Quynh and Andy must have felt

I cannot imagine what it must have been like for Andy. To be with someone for so long. The only other person who understands you. To be ripped apart like that

“Why do you blame yourself” that’s not a nice question to ask people

The big emotional talk with Andy and Nile in the churchyard being interrupted by the gunfire

Andy being so afraid Booker wouldn’t come back and delegating to Nile who just accepts her orders

“Welcome back asshole” / “it feels like someone was dancing on my chest”

The banter

Nicky being banished to the table in the corner after 2006 is my favourite headcanon

“Wait for my signal” Andy is more pissed than ever at the people coming after her family

“Big wounds take longer to heal” Nile as a millennial presses x to doubt

The sheer emotion in Andy’s eyes as she fights. The tears. She’s doing this for her family.

Will I ever stop harping on about found family in this show? No I will not“

How can you even tell what the signal is?” One explosion later “oh wait nvm”

The wound on Andy’s shoulder probably doesn’t even feel like anything with the amount of adrenaline

The van. These two“

What is he your boyfriend?” Stanzas of Arabic poetry later, “he’s not my boyfriend he’s all and he’s more”

Nicky and Joe Horny on Main all day every day

These cocky little shits “can you remove the chains? no? ok”“

There’s a TV Joe!” “Champagne?” it’s not a field trip boys

“I used to keep my stuff here” in an abandoned mine she found in the 1150s or that’s when she thinks she found it

Nile being amazed by Andy’s ‘stuff’

Booker meanwhile makes a joke at the expense of his sister

Merrick really should have been a doctor who villain honestly. The grand gesturing the weird mood swings. He could have been great in a two part episode and then had to reckon with Donna

Donna Noble is my favourite companion don’t @ me

Copley beginning to have second thoughts on everything

Andy realising only now that she hasn’t healed from the fight in the church“

Just because we keep living doesn’t mean we stop hurting” I have a lot of Booker feelings ok“

I thought you were the brains of this outfit” oh honey no

Bookers family. Oh no.

No but really how hard must it have been for Booker. To know that his son, his baby was suffering from cancer such an awful disease all the whole cursing his father for being selfish, uncaring, cursing Booker and Booker can’t do anything about it. He’s immortal, he heals, disease will never ravage his body, but he can’t share it with his son. He can only sit and watch as death claims everyone he’s ever loved. Living with the fact that his family despised him at the end of their lives because they didn’t understand that his immortality is a curse.

I have a lot of Booker feels don’t @ me

The pharmacy girl though. Helping just because she could

Reaffirming the reason why Andy started to help people in the first place

A selfless act. A purely good deed. Nothing expected in return. An unselfish act

Andy’s wound and Lykon’s death causing Andy to come to terms with her own mortality

Merrick “prosperity data” and Copley “I’m sorry those are people not objects”

Nicky is not here for your bullshit

Malta Sex Vacation ™

HORNY JAIL

Family bonding time with Nile and Andy

Andy “whatever it takes” and Nile “not on my watch”

So what I want to know is obviously Booker was in on it from the beginning but did actively derail Andy looking into Copley after Joe and Nicky were taken or was he just genuinely having a hard time

Nile prioritising her flesh and blood family and Andy totally understanding because she’s doing this for family too“

You and me Book. Now and always” my heart can’t cope

Nile finding the empty clip. Realising what’s about to happen and going back for her new family because as much as she loves her flesh and blood family this one matters to her as well

Meanwhile Copley I guess got a tip off from Booker (?) and knew this was all going down

The conspiracy wall

Booker you bastard why did you shoot her in the back?

I love this man but god damn

Booker wanting to be ‘normal’ because the memory of being rejected is still so raw

Suicidal tendencies in a 200 year old man

They’re both so upset by the whole thing. The betrayal

Book loves this woman with all his heart and soul. This is the woman who saved him and now she isn’t healing. She’s dying

Booker putting up so much of a fight so they wouldn’t take Andy

“I’m sorry Andy I’m sorry”

You might disagree with me but in my mind Booker never meant to hurt anyone. He didn’t want to be a lab rat. Didn’t want anyone else to be a lab rat. He just wanted to be ‘normal’“

All things die”

“Your time is coming” // “As is yours” Nicky is gonna fuck someone up

“I’m new” says Nile after shooting herself in the foot to make a point

Copley’s conspiracy wall or his fanboy wall for all the good Andy, Booker, Joe and Nicky have done

Copley’s grief at losing his wife being the driving factor for handing the group over to Merrick is tragic and heart breaking and just goes to show how much of a human story this really is

Nile said no guns Copley

Nile is here to save her family

“Those three men in there and I we’ll keep you safe” // Nile coming in guns blazing for them instead

Joe is going to kill Booker himself

“You and Nicky always had each other. All we had was our grief”

Everyone being so surprised to see Nile like “what the fuck?”“

Just leave me here” // “No man left behind”

Meanwhile Joe is fine with just leaving Booker right there to be the last lab rat

The groups concern for Andy who’s always been so strong

The concern. The subtle little head nods Andy does to let them know she’s ok

Andy spies an axe

Joe being so concerned for Nicky and making sure he comes back ok

Nicky immediately scrambling to his feet to go and help Andy

“What happened in 1934?” // “1834”

“Wait for the signal” “like the last one?” “Go big or go home!”

Arguing over who goes first and Andy just “if it doesn’t work our next time you can go first”

And there’s your signal

“You shot Nicky” Joe is not messing around when it comes to his other half“

You ok?” // “Everything hurts”

Andy has been immortal for so long she’s lost all sense of feeling human. Then Nile shows up to do just that. Remind her

Merrick calling Nile selfish like I’m sorry you entitled little shit what did you say“

Do you think he speaks Russian?”

YEET!

That one must have hurt

Nicky and Joe just like “wow the new girl is hardcore”

“Faster than the elevator”

Gotta save Andy’s axe

Nicky sits in the middle which is the actual worst place to sit in a car

Do you think they al rocked up to a hotel covered in blood like “don’t ask just give us a room and a shower”

Joe still seething at Booker through the pub window

Nile having to live with the fact that her family will never know what really happened to her. That they’ll all think she was KIA and whatever body they send back won’t be hers

The 100 year naughty step

I love that Nile was gonna let Booker off with an apology like “he didn’t mean it he’s just a sad alcoholic”

Nobody look at me. Ok. Andy and Booker saying goodbye on the shore. I can’t. This is it. This is the scene that breaks me

“I won’t see you again” // “Have a little faith Book”

Joe really wants to hit Booker. Probably did in the interim

The big picture“

Maybe this is the why Andy”

Andy laying down the law and Joe in the background like “yeah this isn’t a request”

Meanwhile in Paris. Booker is tired and just wants a drink

I am a fan of the scruff though

If that’s water Quynh definitely brought it in herself for The Drama ™

QUYNH THOUGH

[tenseiga]

the other half of the ask meme that nobody asked for (well. @totopopopo did but then i gave the wrong answers. so.)

1: Is there a boy/girl in your life? n.nonbina.ry.. persn

3: What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?” furry

5: Are you afraid of falling in love? no?

7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else? like probably it’s not really something i keep track of

9: Name the last four beds you were sat on? fuck alright mine, my grandmother’s, uhhhhhhhh thats it thats all i got 11: Honestly, are things going the way you planned? hell no i thought i’d be dead by now 13: Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler? they’re both so good

15: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum? mmmmhhh zoos are full of cool animals but u can make fun of art u dont like in museums. i’ve been on a date w jhin to a zoo so let’s go to the art museum this time. spice things up a lil

17: How long have you known your 1st phone contact? im sorry im too lazy to check who that is. probably at least a day.

19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes? hahahhahahhaha no

21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today? if they didnt live across the ocean? ye

23: How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? just one, it’s a metal band and it’s got the quote from the cinderella movie on it

25: What’s on your mind? gay

27: What is your favorite color? i like blues and greens

29: Who are you texting? u sound like my mom

31: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right? thats called anxiety

33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you? ”irritation” is a feeling

35: Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you considering i literally do not remember who that is, i’d be pretty neutral about it

37: Are you friends with the last person you kissed? i dont think so

39: Has anyone upset you in the last week? im always upset 24/7

41: Where’s your last bruise located? left thigh

43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad? this morning during  my mom’’s most recent Yell Session

45: Do you have a favourite pair of shoes? @dheerse and i have a matching pair of shoes and it’s the best thing that’s ever been on my feet

47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style? i’ve been bald before and it was rad. so yes

49: Does your bedroom have a door? the room in my mom’s house? yes. the place im moving into? nop

51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping? probably but no one off the top of my head

53: Are goodbyes hard for you? kinda

55: How is your hair? beautiful as always

57: Do you think two people can last forever? like an immortal type situation or a couples thing?

59: Green or purple grapes? apathy

61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now? yyes i want out of my mom’s house. i move next week. i cant wait

63: Where will you be 5 hours from now? that answer is boring. i’d much rather be cryptid hunting

65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked? @dheerse

67: Did you kiss or hug anyone today? no thank god. im in a “dont touch me” mood

69: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? thats like daily existence my dude

71: How many fingers do you have? enough

73: How old will you be in 5 months? twenty and a half

75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love hi, quick question what does this say

77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago? nope. that was high school babey im out of there

79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike? @gayscottryder, also my very gay boss at the grocery store (i almost went clubbing w him? that would have been an experience)

81: How many people have you liked in the past three months? like platonic liked or romance liked? bc romance like is 1) my fiancé 2) my fiancé 3) still just my fiancé

83: Will you talk to the person you like tonight? i’ll text em a lot

85: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care? jhin did a weed once im calling the cops i also did a weed but

87: Who was your last received call from? one of those automated call centers

89: What is something you wish you had more of? plane tickets to germany. or houses. i would like one more house than the number of houses i currently have, which is zero houses

91: Do you sleep with your window open? like a little

93: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? hi buddy i’m a closeted queer trans youth. draw your own conclusions

95: You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem? yeah i have no fuckeng clue who that is

97: Did you sleep alone this week? all day every day night babey

99: Do you believe in love at first sight? i guess kind of begrudgingly? happened to me online so

[florafraser-blog]

OOC WEEK: this or that

RAPID FIRE:

Tea or coffee? tea. leaf juice over bean juice.

Stars or planets? planets. pluto is my girlfriend.

Sun or moon? moon. u can’t stare directly @ the sun, but u CAN stare directly @ the moon.

Black or white? black, like my Soul.

The zoo or the aquarium? aquarium!!!!!! lemme watch the fishes!!!!!!

Drama or comedy? drama drama drama drama

Thriller or adventure? thriller Always.

Short walks to the fridge or long walks on the beach? can i have a short walk on the beach?

Indoors or outdoors? both. both is nice, as long as there are no bugs in either environment.

Animals or plants? animals.

Time alone or time with others? listen, human beings exhaust me, but i also require constant attention.

Introvert or extrovert? introvert.

Silence or music? music.

Darkness or light? light, but like, only well lit light.

Cats or dogs? dogs.

Dancing or being the wallflower? dancing my lil toosh off.

Right or left? right.

Werewolves or vampires? i had a rly long ‘the vampire diaries’ phase ok. immortality fascinates me. vampires.

Dressing stylishly or dressing comfortably? as i’ve said to carlie before, my style is “cultivated messiness” aka i look like i put 0 effort in but in a cute way, but i actually put 0 effort in. so dressing comfy but in a stylish way!!!!!

Sunrise or sunset? sunset.

Lead or follow? a lil bit of both. sometimes, u gotta lead when nobody else is doing jack shit, but sometimes, u gotta keep ur mouth shut and follow so that other people are responsible for the Anarchy

Optimist or pessimist? lil bit of both. it’s hard 2 be optimistic when a tangerine is in charge of ur country.

Staying up late or waking up early? staying up late!

Speaking up or staying silent? speaking up always and forever.

White lies or brutal honesty? depends on what the situation calls for. as a rule, i like to be honest, but with the people i’m close with, sometimes that will do more harm than good, and sometimes, you just have to let people come to a conclusion on their own.

Ask for permission before doing the stupid thing or ask for forgiveness after doing the stupid thing? 100% ask for forgiveness after doing the stupid thing.

LONG FORM:

Pet peeves: ppl leaving the toilet seat up, ppl who walk slowly, ppl who eat tuna in public (that shit is STINKY), ppl who stand too close to u in line, ppl who don’t ask permission before they take something of urs or touch something of urs, ppl who sneeze into their hands

Bad habits: not eating enough fruits and vegetables or drinking enough water, spending too much $$ on useless crap, liking boys, not wearing my orthotics, not finishing my food, procrastinating on my work (GUESS WHAT I’M DOING RIGHT NOW), ignoring all of my problems in hopes that they’ll go away, not charging my devices.....ever....., never cleaning my glasses, undoing the hems on all of my clothes

Favourite scents (your amortentia!): peppermint, nail polish remover, freshly baked bread, lavender, dryer sheets, petrol

Favourite animal: ORCA!!!! WHALES!!!!!!

Favourite colour: green~

Favourite place to go (local or otherwise) (photos get bonus points): there’s a student run coffee shop on USC’s campus called “ground zero” and they have the best milkshakes known to man, but they also just in general have such good study vibes and writing vibes, so i spend like 98% of my time there.

Favourite meme: the evil kermit meme

Do you have any creative or artistic abilities? i goddamn hope so!!!!!!!! i would like to think i can write semi well, and that’s about it. i can’t draw or sing or paint, so writing is basically all i’ve got. i also feel like i have Some Aesthetic sensibilities, so i’d be somewhat ok at photography and cinematography, but i’m not actually that interested in the latter, just the former.

Talk about something that made you happy today, yesterday, this week: one of my best friends came w me to see the movie “lion” on monday. i’d already seen it, but i really wanted her to see it, and she got us FREE TICKETS at this beautiful theater in santa monica, and we went, and she loved it, and just seeing her enjoy this thing that i loved made me rly rly happy :’)

Talk about an experience that made you feel proud or confident: OK i bought overalls over christmas break, and let me tell u, i have never felt more confident than i feel in these overalls bc not only do i look Good, i look Gay, and today i put them on, and curled my hair, and i feel like the prettiest goddamn human being in existence :’)

Talk about something/someone that makes you feel relaxed: carlie!!!!!!!!!! this is gonna get sappy i’m trying 2 kill her when she wakes up!!!!!!! but talking to carlie alway makes me feel really calm and chill, even if we’re being super high key about something. and if something’s going Wrong, i know i can talk to her because she always has a Good Perspective that Soothes and Supports, and i love her very dearly :’))))))

Talk about something you’re yet to try for the first time but want to: this is dumb, but i’ve never done a face mask before??? i rly want to??? i want my Skin To Feel Soft And Nourished. i also want to dye my hair and become even more of an aesthetic hoe than i already am

Who are your role models and why: 1) david fincher, for just saying fuck u @ everything and doing whatever the hell he wants 2) viola davis, for her constant intelligence and perseverance and strength 3) shonda goddamn rhimes, for creating an empire 4) amy elliot dunne, for being a BAD ASS BITCH 5) peter paige, for continuing to bring nuanced queer stories to the screen, as an actor, as a writer, as a person 6) all of the friends in my life who are just.........amazing and complicated and driven and heartfelt who constantly give me a reason to want to be the best version of myself

Talk about something you want to do this year: i want to start flossing. flossing and i have never gotten along. but my dentist told me i was like THIS close to having perfect teeth, if only i flossed more, so i was like....u know what.....why not go the extra mile......this is my new year’s resolution, and it’s lame, but it’s Mine.

[thecrookedgavel]

The Black Box Readings - Ep 1 Transcript

Here’s the transcript for episode 1 of The Black Box Readings, the podcast where I read to you the backup of queer blogs that have gone down. 

See Other Episodes

An: Hey, all! And welcome to The Black Box Readings, the new podcast where I read to you the backup of queer blogs that have gone down! I’m your host, An Capuano. So basically, it’s a show where I narrate through a deleted or deactivated blog over the course of a season, with a focus on queer artists. Though to be honest, there was a specific blog that inspired me to make this podcast, and unless this format is super popular, I may just do the one season. Anyway, although reading things in a dramatic fashion is definitely in my wheelhouse, non-fiction podcasts are not. So please bear with me while I go through some growing pains as I try and figure this thing out. 

Alright, so this season, we have the story of a digital artist who caught my attention with a really cool piece of Overwatch fanart. It’s about her journey through a life spent mostly online, disability, and navigating through the difficulties of realizing that you’re trans.

For those of you not in the know, I am a disabled trans woman myself, so it’s not a journey I’m altogether unfamiliar with. The biggest reason I’m doing this podcast is because stories like ours get drowned out in the media. I wanted to be able to tell her story so that queer people, young and old, can hear something that resonates with them. And I have a good feeling that this will do that for you.

The Tumblr in question, I won’t say the address. Just know that the title of the blog was: “Less Than Human”. Yeah, I know. Not a very cheery introduction. I sort of choose to think of it, kind of like reclaiming a slur. If she calls herself less than human, other people lose the power to hurt her with it. I’m telling you the blog title because it is important later.

Anyways, enough out of me, here’s the first post of the episode, which happens to be the first post of the blog itself. It’s titled:

“Welcome!

Hey, my name is -”

Ok, so I guess I didn’t think this through. In the post, she uses her deadname, and I don’t feel comfortable reading it out to you all. If I have to choose between deadnaming a trans girl and being a little inaccurate, I’m choosing inaccuracy. I should say, actually, that I don’t consider myself a journalist or anything like that. Also, I get it would be bad of me to use her real name too. So we’ll just call her… Hmmm…. Ok, let’s go with Emmy.

“Welcome!

Hey, my name is Emmy, and I’m 19 years old! Nice to meet you guys! I’ve decided to start posting on my tumblr instead of using it as a dash, lol! I’m a visual artist, though I mostly stick to digital art these days. I spend most of my time reading. My fandoms are Gravity Falls, Steven Universe, Supernatural, Sonic the Hedgehog, Marvel, and of course, Shrek! Lmao. I think Cat Girls are cute, but I’m not a weeb”

*Laugh* I never read this post while she was active. Her sense of humor is really present in this post, she was always silly like this. Anyways, she follows up this post by posting a backlog of art that I figure she must have made and not shown to anyone. It’s all really good stuff. Some fandom, some original. It’s clear to me that she’s not posting her earlier, rougher work. I don’t remember too many details though, as this was a while ago, and I didn’t think to save her artwork when I was copying all her text posts into the google doc. I hope someone out there saved them before they were deleted, though.

I’m not going to bore you by reading every single one of her posts, or anything like that. Just the ones that stand out to me. Here’s one about Supernatural and how she might be falling out of love with it. 

“I don’t know guys, I’m finding it hard to watch supernatural these days. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still one of my favorite shows, it’s just totally not as good as the first 5 seasons. That and I WANT DEAN AND CASS TO BE TOGETHER! Is that so wrong? Look, Cass is an immortal being that just HAPPENED to take a male form. If he had a female form, you can bet that he and Dean would have banged already. I’ve read the tumblr posts too, the ones that talk about all the hints the writers give that Dean is gay. This is ABSOLUTELY queerbaiting, and even as a straight guy, I can see that. I have a lot of gay mutuals who have convinced me how ultimately cute Dean and Cass are, and I feel bad for them, because they’re not being treated fair. You think in its 12 seasons there would be something, but no, nothing. Pisses me off”

Here is where we start seeing a connection between Emmy and queer culture. Although she’s currently IDing as straight and male, you can tell she cares about queer representation. Now, I’m not saying that wanting good queer content makes you queer, of course not. Just that knowing that Emmy is queer, when you look back at her earlier posts, there’s some evidence there. She even talks about Castiel, a male character, having a female form, which I find interesting for obvious reasons.

Next up is a post about something outside of her fandoms, a show called Monk. For those of you who don’t know it, it’s a show focused on a detective with OCD who uses his disability to solve crimes no one else can. As someone with OCD myself, I really enjoyed the show, but it’s not without its problems. Hmm, yeah, I’ll get to those after reading the post, I think

“I’ve been watching a new show lately! Well, a show that’s new to me at least. It’s called Monk! I’m 3 seasons in, and I laugh every episode. But it’s not without its serious moments too. It’s about Adrian Monk, a detective with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and it’s like a super power to him. He can do things no one else can. But he also can’t do things that everyone else takes for granted. Mood. He always says “It’s a gift… And a curse” when talking about it. Big mood. Anyway, I highly recommend it, because it’s a positive depiction of someone mentally ill! I’m so used to people who are “crazy” being mass murderers or some shit. Idk, it’s heartwarming.”

I noticed one of the hashtags of her post was, “Finally found a version with captions.” This is important for later and I’ll get to it by the end of the episode. Where the previous post was the first we saw of her queerness, this is the first we’ll see about her connection with mental illness. It’s unclear if she feels her inabilities are balanced off by her abilities, or if her “mood” was just about her being unable to do what others can. Since her “big mood” is regarding Adrian Monk’s favourite quote “It’s a gift and a curse”, I like to think she was being positive and was including her abilities in the “mood.”

While I do agree with Emmy that it’s a positive depiction of someone mentally ill, and that’s certainly better than having yet another bad guy is who’s only evil because he’s crazy, I’m worried that it’s too positive. It’s actually a really common trope where neurodivergent people in media are seen as “super human,” like Sheldon in the Big Bang Theory, or uhh, the main character from The Good Doctor, I forget his name. It makes it look like everyone with autism or OCD are geniuses, and that sort of skews how neurotypicals view people like us in a negative way. Like, I do view my OCD as a gift, I wouldn’t be able to write the way I do, or play video games the same way if I didn’t have it. But I’m not a superhuman by any means. But I’m expected to, in some sense, outperform everyone because of my OCD, because of this impossible standard set by the media. *Sigh* I’m sorry, I’m getting really off topic. I hope you don’t mind this little rant.

Back to Emmy, I find it a little upsetting that she feels herself cursed in some way. Knowing what I know about her, I like to think she was more gifted than cursed, but given the title of her blog, I doubt she would agree with me. We can glean from this post that she is disabled in some way or another. Maybe she herself has OCD? Or maybe she just relates her own, different disability to OCD? It’s hard to tell at this point, and I don’t want to spoil it, especially since it will come up again in a few posts. 

Next up, we have a post about not just queer characters, but lesbian characters. I’m sure you have heard of Overwatch by now, even if you haven’t played it. Well, the creative devs promised us that a handful of the cast was queer, and at least to me, it seemed like an empty promise. Hmm, I guess it seems a little bit like the queerbaiting conversation we had earlier. Interesting. You know what I mean, right? Like, why take the risk of pissing off the straight, cis part of your fanbase with queer characters when you can just say some characters are queer and attract a bigger queer fanbase that way? But then they did something that blew me out of the water. They made a comic where Tracer has a girlfriend. This next post from Emmy is about this reveal.

“Merry Christmas! And what a Christmas it’s been. Because I got something I’ve been asking for for a LONG time. Blizzard made Tracer gay! I’m not the only one who’s been asking for this, a huge chunk of the fandom has been saying that Tracer is only into other girls. It’s been my headcanon for so long, and now it doesn’t have to be, because it’s canon! Tracer and Emily are so cute together! And their kiss is so hot too! Yeah, lesbians are really hot in general. They’re every guy’s ultimate fantasy. Thanks, Jeff!”

An: Ok, so before we continue, I think I need to apologize on Emmy’s behalf for the way she talks about lesbians. As a trans lesbian, I had a period where I talked about lesbains that way too. Before I came to terms with that identity, I mean. Since you believe you’re a straight guy, there’s no real explanation for why you’re so into lesbians other than them being a male fantasy. But it’s more than that. It’s part of like, seeing yourself as a girl that the idea of being with a girl that likes girls... that is so fundamentally appealing. 

Like, ok. *sigh* I remember this one time very clearly… I was with my girlfriend at the time and a friend of mine at a bubble tea shop. This was probably 9 or 10 years ago now? Jeez. Anyways, this couple of girls starts making out at the table next to us, and I had a full on sexual awakening. I remember that I couldn’t look away. Mostly because my ex wouldn’t let me forget it. I got teased by my friend and berated by my ex. Because I couldn’t explain what happened to her, let alone to myself, I eventually came up with a rather math-y explanation involving vectors of attraction *laugh*. Something like, if women are attractive to me, and men are not attractive to me, then adding their vectors together gives less attraction than two women’s vectors being added together. It was pretty stupid. I don’t talk to either of those two people anymore, by the way. 

Anyways, my point is that since this is before she’s realized she’s a lesbian herself, she’s under the false impression that she needs to sexualize lesbians in order to explain why she’s so attracted to the concept. So please don’t hold that against her. 

---

With that out of the way, we can move on to her next post. It’s a piece of art she made, and it’s pretty special to me. You see, this was the way I found her blog. One of the blogs I follow, who knows which at this point, must have reblogged it and it came across my dashboard. Again, I don’t have a copy of any of Emmy’s art, but I remember it pretty well. It’s a picture of Emily wearing Tracer’s outfit... Shit… Why did I give Emmy a name so close to Emily? Emily as in Tracer’s girlfriend. Maybe it’s because of my association with her and this drawing? Either way, it’s too late now, I’m not re-recording this whole episode. *Sigh* We’ll just stick with the blogger being named Emmy. Anyways! She’s sort of looking a bit out of place, like she doesn’t know how to feel about having a Chrono-accelerator attached to her chest. There’s a speech bubble in the frame pointing off screen that says, “You look marvellous, love!”, or something to that effect, but it’s obviously supposed to be Tracer saying it. It was a really cute drawing, and I was really fond of it, so I liked and followed. Feels like so long ago. 

Anyways, she did reblog the picture afterwards, saying:

“Thank you so much for all the notes! I really appreciate the support. Who knew that something so dumb would be liked by so many people? I really like Emily, and I hope she’s added as a Hero in Overwatch soon! I feel so happy! I’m going to go and do some more drawing, so keep an eye out for more posts!”

Not much going on in this post, but I decided to read it anyway because it contrasts so heavily with the next post. Not the next time she posted, but the next post I’m going to read. Actually, it’s the last post of this episode. 

So, I’m going to warn you, this is a side of Emmy we haven’t seen yet. The really negative side. *Sigh* I don’t know what set her off, maybe nothing did, but I think this post is very important to read to you, as it clears the air about her disabilities.

“I really appreciate all the love you’ve given my art, but I feel like I don’t deserve any of it. I’m so broken and worthless and I’ve only been pretending to be normal so that you’ll all like me. The truth is, I’m physically and mentally disabled, and life is just a never ending struggle. 

First off, I’m deaf. Very deaf. The quietest thing I can hear in either ear is a chainsaw. It means I can’t understand speech or anything I’d need to be social. I don’t know sign language at all, I was never taught. So I just… stay inside all day. I’ve been homeschooled by my Dad since I was young. He thinks something bad will happen to me if I go outside, because I couldn’t hear something like a car coming towards me. So I live my life online, for the most part. I feel so isolated, and like I can’t relate to anyone normal. 

Also, I have Bi-Polar Disorder. For those you don’t know of it, it basically means I have high highs and low lows. I’ve done a good job so far at hiding my lows from everyone and only showing my highs. Until now, I guess… I just feel so low today, and I couldn’t hold it back anymore. I just had to be real. Even if it’s an ugly side of me that I hate. My dad hates how moody I am too. He just doesn’t get that it’s not my fault. Even my highs are hard for him to handle sometimes. Anyway, please forgive me for lying so long”

So, I sense a bit of imposter syndrome here. She’s gotten some success and because she views herself as not even a normal person, she thinks she doesn’t deserve it. It’s a pretty common feeling amongst content creators and something you have to move past if you want to make stuff. It’s like, *sigh* like me, I’m not an expert voice actor, why are people listening to me? I have tricked them into thinking I’m worth listening to. If you’re feeling that way about a recent success, just know that it’s all bullshit and it’s normal to feel that way. I wish I had that knowledge at the time I originally read that post… Because then, I would have messaged her and let her know. But yeah, we have more to unpack here.

She talks about being deaf, and the level that she describes is a profound hearing loss, which is as bad as it gets. I have that level of hearing loss in my left ear, and it’s really hard to deal with. So, I kind of can’t imagine what it would be like to have it in both ears. 

Like, for me, I remember this one time where I was at my locker in high school, and someone must have been asking me a question a few times on my bad side. She wanted to know if I had any extra bus tickets, and by the time I finally caught on that she was talking to me, she said something like “Urg, I just want to punch you.” And it wasn’t a joke either, she was very frustrated with the way my hearing loss had affected her. It made me feel small, and like I was an inconvenience to those around me. Guess it didn’t help how I felt that I had a crush on her at the time… Ha… *Sigh* It was very isolating to grow up like that. I didn’t really belong there, but I didn’t exactly belong in the deaf community either, since I could hear fine out of one ear. So when Emmy describes how isolating it is to be deaf and not know sign language, I get it. I really feel that. When I saw this post, it really made me feel for her. This is probably the point in time where I made a mental note to support her art whenever I could. 

Lastly she talks about her mental illness, being bi-polar. I know a lot less about bi-polar disorder than I do hearing loss. Though I was in a production that never wrapped up about a bi-polar teen. Actually, I was the strict dad who couldn’t understand his child’s illness, which is a similar theme seen in Emmy’s post. I’ve actually been cast as a dad 3 or 4 times now? Yeah. *Laughs* Anyways, what I understand about it is that it can be seasonal. You might be manic for a season, and depressive for another. But yeah, it doesn’t always work that way. Usually medication can help balance you out, but in Emmy’s case, she wasn’t taking any meds at this point. I’ll say it here for clarity’s sake, but her having bi-polar disorder was a self-diagnosis, not a professional one. That’ll be covered in the next episode, though. 

So now the whole “Less than Human” thing makes a bit more sense, doesn’t it? Not because it’s true in any sense, but because it was true to her. Disability is something that people tend to see as different, or othering. There’s a lot of stigma there. We can sort of tell at this point that the way her Dad views her and treats her doesn’t help her feel any better about this either. 

That’s why she likes the depiction of mental illness in Monk so much, right? Because it’s a bit of a “More than Human” approach. It gives her some hope that maybe she can be seen positively one day too. As far as movies with Deaf characters goes there’s like 100, if I recall correctly. Which is honestly pitiful compared to the amount of movies, period. So it’s more than likely that she never got to see herself in media in that perspective before. 

Also, there’s the markings of a budding trans girl in there too, which may further intensify the feeling of not being human. For years and years *sigh*, there was practically zero positive representation of trans people in media. We’re taught that feeling like this makes us freaks, and that presenting differently than we’re supposed to makes us... something worse than that. It all comes together to form something bitter and isolating. Especially before you start owning those parts of you and finding a community of your own.

Thank you for listening to this episode of The Black Box Readings! I really ranted more than I thought I would. Hopefully you all liked the anecdotal stuff I added in, didn’t really plan on doing that. Follow me on Twitter at TheCrookedGavel to stay up to date on this and other queer podcasts. Feel free to contact me there as well. This is An Capuano, signing off!

[nettvnow-blog]

2017 IPF Trailer YouTube Round up

The IPF trailers are finally out which means that we get our best look at some of the (hopefully) upcoming web series in 2017 and beyond. IPF is a funding agency for Canadian digital productions and requires applicants to provide a trailer for their proposed projects. Not only is this a great chance to peak at where the Canadian industry is heading but it also means that us fans get a ton of new content to eagerly anticipate. As your resident Canadian grant writer and business affairs human, trust me when I say that these trailers can make or break the stage 1 portion of an application. 

So make sure you like and watch your favourites!

The IWCC-CIWC has done the hard work for me of compiling a list of IPF trailers which you can view here. So thanks to them!

With 66 videos on the list, there’s a lot of content to go through and we’re going to help you out with managing them. I’m going in blind to watch all the trailers once and then, as succinctly as possible, let you know what I think the upcoming web series is going to be about. Trailer only. No youtube descriptions or press or anything. Trailer only.

That’s right. I’m writing premises. What could possible go wrong?

Everything. Succinct is hard when the shows are this great. 

Zero Day – Kayla’s computer hacker brother drags her into a world where everyone wants the ‘encrypted crucible’ and are willing to kill to get it. (story occurs in real time)

Candiland – Candi with an I is a ‘probably straight’ guy who is experiencing his first time crossdressing like he’s always wanted.   

The Most Unpopular Girl at School – Told almost entirely through music playlists, facebook, and in-universe youtube videos, a high school student has an unflattering video leaked and must try to get it taken down.

Earthing House Huntress – A real estate agent decides to specialize in selling homes to aliens who are just looking for a place to belong here on Earth.

We Three Queens – A broke writer and his ‘rent boy lover’ move in with an elderly female widow.

Cam_Girlfriend – A Cam Girl tries to navigate a boyfriend who doesn’t seem to know her at all and her viewers who seem to know her better than he does.

Face Candy – Make-up counters are a cut throat business and the new girl needs to do whatever it takes to sell product. 

Grave Concerns – Two men with luscious beards have been hired to remove all dead bodies (new or old) from a town but it’s a little tricky when the corpses keep complaining about their grave-digging skills. 

#famous – A man seeks to create the best prank videos on youtube but runs into a number of problems with his real life responsibilities. 

Boring Girls – Three musicians discover that, for their dark music audience, shock value sells and start creating bigger and bigger scenes without caring if they become deadly.

Made With Love – A queer engineer is fired and decides to start a fashion line with her best friend even though she knows almost nothing about fashion. 

Wharf Rats – Set in PEI, two brothers dream of being fishermen and they’re just crazy enough to do whatever shenanigans are necessary to get a fishing boat.

Bad Life Choices – Two friends who really really like drugs and alcohol just keep making bad life choices. 

Cat Show – A girl puts on a cat show because she believes the rules of all the other cat shows, where her cat lost, are wrong. 

NarcoLeap – A girl has terrifying dreams that involve chasing, running and blood but whenever she looks in the mirror in the dream, she’s wearing someone else’s face. 

Life Coach – Despite her own life being in shambles, a woman decides to become a life coach and takes on a number of interesting patients. 

Cousins – Two snarky cousins are forced together and do not exactly get along.

Conversations For the End of The World – Radiation is killing off humanity and a father and son are just trying to live through the end of the world together.

Allie & Lara Make A Horror Movie – Allie and Lara are trying to make a horror movie; unfortunately ideas are easier than execution and their roommate is determined to cast herself as the lead.

Widow’s Web – Jennifer joins a group for widows over 60 and they end up taking justice for crimes against seniors into their own hands. 

Ran and Jaden – Two twenty year olds living their millennial life in Toronto.

SpeakEasy – In 1914, two men go into business with a shady character to get the money to keep their speakeasy and they’ll do whatever it takes to keep the cash coming. (based on a real life story)

Tight Knit – Two polar-opposite sisters take over their grandmother’s knitting store and knitting puns abound.

Little Piggies – Three friends put together dating video profiles to help podiatry doctor Katie find true love. 

Man Dog – A dog gets put into a human body and thinks he has the whole town fooled at how well we can play human but they all know. 

Late Fees – A Blockbuster employee can’t let go of the stores closing and starts to hang out in whatever random video rental store he can still find. 

Free Space – A small change is changing and the towns people are having trouble coping, so they turn to young Terry and his Bingo hall.

The co-op – A gay actor moves into a co-op with a bunch of artists across all genres and mediums who are all trying to catch their break.

Darkland – Strange things are happening like girls exploding and pig headed humans eating bloody fish and it’s scary.

Off Kilter – A choreographer comes back after 2 decades to work with an aging dancer and claim their comeback one last time. 

Boombats – Bobby opens an odd job business and the family has feelings about this. 

Blackout – A man starts having blackouts and memory loss and is terrified of what he might do but he’s not the only one blacking out.

Year – The world is ending and a father will kill anyone or anything who tries to hurt his son.

Valley Cats – An animated series where a former valley girl-cat becomes a reality tv star.

Climax, SK – An aging ‘James Bond-esque’ spy is forced to hide out in the small town of Climax, Saskatchewan where no-one believes he’s a spy.

Demo Time – A show about a quirky product demonstration sales team trying to sell the unsellable that’s literally pitched as a product demonstration. 

Kate – A small town girl moves to the big city of Toronto for the first time and wants to do everything she never got to do.

Masters of Bait and Switch – Three friends pull off a series of elaborate heists simply because they can. 

Rachel and The Dead -  A psychology student accidentally moves into an apartment that’s haunted by a dead guy.

Tokens – An on-call actress is always sent to auditions to fill the ‘token Asian’ role and is surprised to find herself cast in a role that doesn’t rely on her filling a diversity quota. 

The Rejects – A group of incompetent and quirky police officers are trying to work their way up from the bottom of the Toronto police ranks even as the Captain tries to deal with them. 

Hurry Up and Wait – Five best friends, all of whom are queer woc, struggle to navigate romance and breakups. 

Dominion – A detective noir series featuring supernatural humans chasing down a girl who has ‘Dominion’. 

Temps Double – A French series, Ben is a fast food worker who just wants to go home but the customers are making it difficult. 

Branded – Two girls try to sell branded content but after their star show dies they have to come up with a new smash hit idea as quickly as possible. 

Bachelor Daddies – Ricky, the smooth bachelor, lets his best friend Jay move in with him after Jay goes through a divorce

The Mavericks – In a dystopia, a teacher uses her dark superpowers bands with one of her students against the militaristic regime. 

P6HUT (Piche Hatt) – With a briefcase full of guns and money, a woman juggles multiple identities.  

Hit on Me – A paid assassin falls in love with his best friend and has to navigate killing people while navigating friendship hopefully becoming something more. 

Clairevoyant – Best friends are getting evicted and become psychics in order to make the money for their rent. 

Jib & Jab on a Quest – Jib and Jab are level 1 RPG mage and warrior characters who are trying to save the world and level up.

The Upload Series – An animated series about a rogue journalist leaking real news to the people despite the government’s outlawing of the press. 

The Vault – In this sci-fi adventure, humanity has to enter the vault to survive the apocalypse and the giant smoke monster that comes with it. (note: this is not 2011’s The Vault)

Act Up – A bunch of teenagers join or are forced to join the improv club and have to navigate high school. 

Rubbed the Wrong Way – This animated series stars two people who unlock a genie and can’t quite understand that he’s actually a genie. 

Imaginary Friends – To cope with her depressing life, Sally creates a number of imaginary friends who live in her head. 

Fak Yaass – Nico struggles to balance his sexuality with his disapproving Greek family. 

Dorian Gray – A man is hired by a mysterious employer and is drawn into a dangerous world after discovering that he’s working for the supernatural, immortal Dorian Gray. 

Witch Like Me – In this supernatural series, a witch fights a number of magical creatures.

Booby & Bogey – An animated booger lives inside the nose of a real life teenaged boy and they strike up a mentorship. 

Meld – Two people take a drug that is supposed to let them feel what the other is feeling but one of them gains the ability to meld with everyone around them and the creators of the drug are desperate to stop her. 

Wild Tales – An animated comedy series about aquatic life including a pregnant male seahorse and a penguin who wants to propose to his girlfriend.

Upheaval Times – A group of humans from the Medieval period are transported forward in time to modern society.

Interlude – Three women try and navigate their lives in the big city.

Gym Rat – Liz broke up with her cheater boyfriend and is now homeless so she starts living out of the locker in the 24hour gym and sleeping on the workout benches. 

In Search Of – Strangers join a facebook group to swap their un-needed items but end up making more personal connections until they’re not strangers at all.

So there you have it! All the great Canadian IPF 2017 trailers that we could find on YouTube. If there’s something that caught your eye, we’d encourage you to check out the trailer and lend it a view and a like to show your support. In addition, there are lots of great trailers on Vimeo and other platforms as well so be sure to check those out too!

Written by Aria Bauer

[nettvnow-blog]

RJ Lackie & Stéphane Lachance | Dorian Gray

RJ Lackie and Stéphane Lachance, two of the forces behind Dorian Gray spoke with netTVnow on their current Phase One journey of IPF. Lachance and Lackie are no strangers to web series. The duo teamed up for Cycle 66's first series, The Soliloquies of Santiago and are currently in the works on Dorian. In addition to Cycle 66's works, Lackie can add writer/creator to KindaTV's Canadian Screen Award-nominated web series, Inhuman Condition, Streamy-nominated series All For One (co-created with Sarah Shelson), with other works seen in Couple-ish, V Morgan is Dead, IRL: The Series and upcoming sci-fi feature film Darken. Check out what else Lacki and Lachance have been up to below the jump and be sure to give their trailer a watch!

netTVnow: Let’s talk Dorian Gray, where did the concept for this series come from?    

RJ Lackie: Dorian Gray is actually a kind of modernized sequel to Oscar Wilde’s famous The Picture of Dorian Gray, one of the most prominent pieces of ‘queer but not explicitly queer’ literature out there. This was actually one of the things that drew me to it. Queer characters in literature - and projects that explicitly or subtextually queer classic characters - fascinate me. It’s a reminder that LGBTQIA folk have always existed, even if our stories weren’t always safe to tell.

In 2014, it was in vogue to develop vlog-style Literary-Inspired Web series (LIW) concepts to see if another could be a similar flashpoint for the genre. Like many of my favourite projects, Dorian Gray started out of a pragmatic question: If I were to pursue an LIW, which public domain works spoke to me? I was particularly interested in finding queer male protagonists to explore, as one of my longstanding pet peeves in web series has been the dearth of queer men in shows not focused around identity or romance, an issue that was even more pronounced a few years ago. I was also interested in seeing whether an LIW could succeed with a queer male lead, particularly a queer man of colour, given the genre’s up-to-then preference for focusing on white, straight protagonists. This is how I first developed the concepts for The Soliloquies of Santiago, Cycle 66’s queer LIW modernisation of Othello, and the seed that would turn into Dorian Gray.

Stéphane Lachance: In 2015, I approached RJ about producing a web series, as I was interested in making one as part of the final project for my Master’s degree. We brought this idea to Adam Tepperman and Gavin Phillips, with whom we’d founded Cycle 66 to pursue a graphic novel project, and with their blessing Santiago became Cycle 66’s first web series project.

RJ: Around the time we were producing The Soliloquies of Santiago, my friend Steph Ouaknine helped launch Carmilla, and we got to see that show turn into a veritable hit. It demonstrated that there was the potential for a web series audience hungry for queer protagonists engaged in supernatural shenanigans. The audience who grew up on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, just like me, who wanted to see creators take what that show started and make it more diverse, more progressive, and more, well, gay. Around the same time we saw fandom build on canon by exploring the untapped potential of subtextual queer m/m pairings in shows like Supernatural and Teen Wolf. We realised that Dorian Gray, which we had already begun early development on, might be able to do for queer male audiences (like myself) what that show offered queer women: an exciting, badass show with a canon gay couple at its centre.

SL: So after we completed Santiago, realizing the limitations of self-funding, we decided to pitch Dorian to the Cogeco Fund’s all-new Development Program for Digital Drama Series. They offer funding to develop scripts, a series bible, a proof-of-concept video and other materials. They accepted us and thus, we were able to make our trailer.

NTN: And in short, how would you describe the series to those who haven’t seen your trailer?

RJ: Dorian Gray is a visually- and tonally-ambitious queer supernatural drama, full of action and sexuality. At its core, it is the story of two broken souls who find themselves entangled with one another: Heath, an artist who saw a hint of another world and was shattered by that glimpse of the unnatural sublime; and Dorian, an immortal hedonist who, in seeing how empty his search for greater and greater pleasure became, has turned into a bitter recluse hunting for the secret that will allow him to die. The two become bound together when Heath’s search to reconnect with the supernatural stirs up the attentions of Johanna Vane, Dorian’s most dangerous enemy… and as they work to fight a common foe, they realise their new bond runs deeper than either ever expected. 

It is, in short, Buffy with a touch of the Gothic influences of Penny Dreadful, made for a generation who’s ready for the very queerness Wilde was forced to keep subtextual in the original novel.

NTN: What are your roles for the series?

SL: I’ll be producing the series alongside Adam and Gavin.

RJ: I’ll be acting as showrunner, helping my Cycle 66 partners oversee a talented group of cast, crew, and writers. Our key creative team also includes All For One director Shannon Litt, who directed our trailer and will return for the series, and Carmilla’s Ellen Simpson as story editor and writer. 

NTN: I know you guys went through the IPF cycle last year and I’m so glad to see that Cycle 66 is doing it again, have you done anything differently this time around, if so what?

SL: The big change, production-wise, is that we’ve partnered with REVRY, an LGBTQ-focused streaming service, to produce the series. Over the last year, and during the last IPF cycle, we were looking for a distribution partner for Dorian Gray. REVRY approached us in August after having seen the trailer and we started working with them, first by making The Soliloquies of Santiago available on their service. They’re such a great match for the project and we feel that their involvement will definitely help us make Dorian Gray a reality. 

RJ: We’ve also taken the opportunity to revamp our creative in subtle but hugely important ways. By embracing the rich heart of darkness from Wilde’s original novel, and the themes of morality, sexuality, and aestheticism from the world Wilde built, we found that the show’s creative really started to shine. Part of this was in how we thought about format: originally, we saw the show as a vlog/traditional hybrid optimised for a long-tail 20+-episode YouTube run. By dropping the vlog elements and focusing on shorter seasons where we could spend the money making the show as visually and thematically rich as possible, it shifted the tone away from an earnest hero’s journey and allowed us to find the poetry and dark humour we’d always wanted to explore. This led to some adjustments in how we approached the character of Heath, who - rather than the innocent-yet-heroic protagonist you find in many conventional tales - is now a more lost, complex POV character who connects with Dorian on a much deeper level. And we’ve found that REVRY is an amazing partner in allowing the show to own its mature elements, rather than shying away from them.

NTN: Since we're on the subject of Cycle 66 and REVRY, what is REVRY and what can folks expect with that partnership?

SL: REVRY is a paid streaming service based out of LA that offers LGBTQ content, which has recently launched their first original series Gayborhood. The series would be a REVRY Original, which means that digitally, it would be available exclusively through their service. In terms of partnership, they will guide Cycle 66 through the development of the series and offer us significant support with the crowdfunding campaign we will be launching if the IPF selects us for funding. They’ll also be promoting the series and the campaign. They’ve been invaluable in guiding us up until now and I don’t expect that to change.

NTN: Can you talk about the importance of having an organization like IPF?

SL: They are unquestionably important to webseries creators and, by extension, Canada’s media industry. During my Master’s, I did some research into web series monetization and funding and got the chance to ask questions to web series producers and creators. While many of them have been finding great ways to monetize their series, the notion of being full-on profitable is still elusive. And that’s a shame because the webseries space offers the chance for new voices to crop up and for new creatives to hone their skills. 

RJ: The fact that the Fund is willing to take chances like it does means that Canada is developing a passionate core of experienced web series talent, from writers to cast to crew, who know the field and are discovering what works and what doesn’t. I hear from people all the time, how strong the web series coming out of Canada are, and I think the IPF - and its sister fund the Cogeco Fund - are a big part of that. If not for the Cogeco Fund, we would not have had the resources to produce our trailer for Dorian Gray, which has been a game-changer for us as a company in terms of visibility and industry respect.

NTN: Can you talk about the IPF submission process and what that’s been like?

RJ: The IPF process has been a trial by fire for our young company. It’s really tested our skills, especially going to Phase Two last year and demonstrating our abilities as producers: budgeting, audience engagement strategies, building producible creative. It’s a massive - and massively valuable - undertaking, which is why I appreciate that the IPF has asked first-time applicants to include a mentor in submissions as of this year. It really is a reminder that you can’t just love your project: you need to be able to make others believe in it, and that requires a whole lot of numbers and figures. It’s really cool to be returning to the IPF process with more experience and, in the form of REVRY, more support from a platform that is as excited about the project as we are.

NTN: Back to the series, what creative differences will you be taking with this series that differ from the original literary adaptation?

RJ: The main two changes from our approach last year both come down to prioritizing quality over quantity: reducing our episode count to maximise our budget-per-minute, and dropping the vlog-style elements from the show. While we adore the LIW genre and think it works fantastically for some stories, for us, stepping away from vlogging as a stylistic choice unexpectedly opened up a ton of creative opportunities that kind of took us by surprise. Tonally, it allowed us to commit to a darker, stranger vision for the show - and a more complex, less earnest vision of Heath at its centre. Once we reworked Heath as a lost, damaged soul with real stakes involved in his search for Dorian and the ‘other world’, the rest of the show - including the show’s supporting cast, tone, and sense of humour - snapped into place like it was meant to be from day one.

NTN: What are you most excited for audiences to see from the series?

RJ: There are so many things, honestly. This is the series I’ve craved for years: supernatural, fun, dark, with characters standing on the very edge of another world they don’t completely understand. Huge, powerful emotions. An examination of what it means to connect with that part of the world that is so beautiful that it can destroy you, which ties so interestingly into a lot of Wilde’s thoughts on aestheticism and the value of beauty. And a queer romance at the centre of it! Between two strong-willed, interesting men whose bond is genuinely powerful. I know why fans read Destiel and Sterek fanfiction because I do too - we crave a gay romance that has that much chemistry and potency at the centre of a show like this, not just subtext. Just generally, I want to show that you can make a show with queer men at its heart that is fun, badass, and moving without forcing queer audiences to only see themselves at the sidelines. It’s something I’ve always wanted to see on TV, I’m so excited to be able to bring this to life.

SL: Just as a producer, I can’t wait for folks to see what we can do with more resources. We’ve already worked with great casts and crews on Santiago and the Dorian Gray trailer. We’ll be upping our game for this series, and that is exciting in and of itself.

RJ: Also: fight sequences! Our villain Vane, who is terrifying and fascinating and strangely sympathetic - and so, so fun to write. Our ensemble cast of supporting players, who I think will be a ton of fun to see build a rapport. While we loved producing Santiago - like Stéphane says - it is such a great opportunity to try new, bigger things. Things not shot entirely in my apartment.

NTN: Where do you hope the web series community will be in the next 5 years?

SL: In terms of making web series, I hope there are more opportunities and avenues for them to become profitable. More distributors, more buyers and more sponsors. If more creators can make money making these series, and even better, make a living doing it, there’s going to be more great shows for everyone to enjoy.

RJ: This might be a pipe dream - particularly for only five years down the line - but I’d love to reach the point where making a web series is primarily a creative choice rather than a choice coming down to resources. While I think that, as long as the form exists it offers a chance for emerging teams to show what they can do on a microbudget, I’m also really looking forward to the day when a creator or producer will be able to look at TV and web series as equally valid forms and select the one that’s creatively best for the project. Once upon a time, TV was seen as an inherently lesser art form, and I think that’s where web series are right now. If we can crack the profitability question, with all the inventive and interesting creators developing in the space, maybe reaching that point in five years is more possible than any of us realize.

NTN: Any upcoming projects that you guys can share? Or anything else to add?

RJ: Obviously, as a super-indie company, we don’t have a massive development budget for new projects, and our primary focus right now is getting Dorian Gray made. But we’re also constantly developing new concepts - for digital and beyond. We’re really excited about the opportunities for low-budget creative innovation in the podcasting space, which is one area we’re actively developing projects in. In terms of digital series, we’re exploring funding options for two really cool projects: an action-oriented queer supernatural drama with a focus on immersive worldbuilding called Dead City Blues, and an interactive sci-fi series focused on questions of AI and personhood called Beautiful Max. 

SL: As for Dorian Gray specifically, we’re hard at work preparing for Phase Two, ahead of the IPF’s shortlist. We want to get ahead of everything so that we’re able to receive funding from the IPF. They typically contribute most but not all of a series’ funding, so we’re going to need fans of supernatural and queer series to get the word out to the world, so we can make sure this series gets made - and gets made right. If selected, we’ll be launching a crowdfunding campaign to secure the last portion of our budget.

RJ: And, if you guys get really excited and help us go above and beyond our ask, well, we’re still writing the scripts, but let’s just say we’ll make every single dollar count. We want to make a show so awesome it redefines what people think webseries can be: sexy, fun, dark, and honestly, better than TV. If we get the chance.

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