#what the fuck am I talking about jesus christ

[kyliekast]

I am politely begging for more of baby daddy!patrick zweig 🥲🙏🏾

i'll take any excuse to talk about it like literally any. please send asks about baby daddy patrick or baby daddy art or baby mama ex-wife tashi like i need it

you both went to the tennis academy and fucked around sophomore year, but you didn't ever take it seriously since you knew about patrick's reputation; however, unbeknownst to you, he stopped sleeping with other people completely while you two were fucking around. he had feelings. they never got acted on, though, because he doesn't think he can maintain a relationship, and before he might have had the chance to, you found out you were pregnant at the start of junior year.

you'd slept with a couple other guys, yes, but only patrick without protection, often, and using the ever-reliable pull out method. you're sure he's came inside at least a few times when you two were drunk as well. there was no question about whether he was the dad when your boy was born. they're twins, to the hair to the eyes to the smile.

your family is wealthy, so you decided to leave school to work for them. you expected patrick to not be in the picture and just send child support, as that seems like a very him way of going about it, but you were surprised when he wanted to take an active role. amazing for your son, obviously. awful for you.

he'll text you and ask things like, did you pack his bear onesie, and it'll be day three, so you know he's already gone through what you packed, and that yes, the onesie is there. he'll ask the same thing twice. he'll tack on questions about your life with questions about your boy. the articulate, wyd. they're thinly-veiled stabs at getting back into your space, and sometimes, they work.

during your son's first hanukkah (for those who don't know pat is jewish in the script), you go to drop him off for the week at pat's family estate, and he insists that you come in for food, a chat, coffee or tea or anything. and you do, because you've been craving his mom's challah since the last time you had it.

you sit together in the living room while patrick bottle feeds him, surprisingly competent. from his texts, you thought he was useless. you guess not. his hands are so big and your baby is so small he can hold him with one arm, a palm splayed across his head, big and swathing.

"he's hungry," pat says.

"he's always hungry. like you."

"you fucked up that challah and jam."

"i'm gonna kidnap your mom."

you both laugh, and it feel normal for a brief second, until you clear your throat.

"so, um. when you're on tour after the junior open coming up -- "

"i'm not going on tour. i'm gonna wait until he's old enough to travel."

you're surprised, and you can't hide it. tour's all patrick's talked about, all he's ever wanted. to win. the glory. the acclaim. your brow furrows. "oh. okay."

"i was just gonna work with art on his grandma's farm for now. when we're on break and stuff."

"you guys are, like. jack and ennis reincarnated."

he rolls his eyes, but he's smiling.

you laugh, "i can't imagine you doing manual labor."

he shrugs. "it's not manual labor, it's mainly taking care of the animals and stuff."

"the fact that art's gonna be around is weirdly reassuring."

"oh, he loves him."

"jesus christ," you groan jokingly, "i should've let art knock me up instead."

patrick stares blankly for a couple seconds, then forces this pitiful, gritted laugh, averting eye contact and looking back down at your baby. it's silent, you finishing your tea and patrick rocking him until he falls asleep. he speaks again, "wanna help me put him to bed?"

"yeah. of course."

you walk into the nursery. the last time you saw it -- there's no way you're not seeing what patrick zweig keeps your baby in over summers and breaks --, it was cute and decorated, but now, it's filled. it looks like patrick's spent every single day at toy and furniture and decor stores. there's a mural on the baby blue walls of an ocean. "oh, this is adorable."

"mhm." patrick sets him in the crib and gently swoops the downy patch of hair off his forehead. "i think he's knocked out."

"puppy tummy."

he looks at you, confused.

you explain, "like, when puppies drink a lot of milk, their bellies get full and they sleep a lot."

"that's cute." when he says it, he's still looking at you. that's cute. no, you're cute.

you're weak, too. so weak for that lopsided smile that's slowly creeping onto his face. the second he sees your blush, you know it's over. he's found an opening, and he's gonna take it.

you clamber into his bedroom, the house big enough for you to lack subtlety, and he pulls your sweater over your head and gropes your tits through your bra. "they're so much bigger now -- "

"fuck off -- " you're sitting on top of his lap, feverishly unbuttoning his shirt. knowing your son, he could wake up any second.

"i didn't say i don't like them normally," he grumbles, thumbing your hard nipples. "just making an observation." he flicks one.

you hiss, "fuck you -- "

"you're being a bitch."

"are you gonna take your dick out or not?"

"i want you to ask for it." patrick holds your wrists and grins, expectantly looking up at you. "say please."

"no." you don't bother with fighting his grip. he's much stronger than you, even if you two are equally stubborn.

"then we're not fucking."

"then we're not fucking, patrick."

the mental image you plant settles stronger than his empty threat, and his desperation wins out. he untucks his cock through his pants, and it's the same as you remember it: hairy, thick, and lengthy, a hot mouthful. you wonder if he tastes the same. musky, sweaty.

"do you have a condom?"

he doesn't hide his disappointment and sulks, "yeah. nightstand."

you huff then reach to the top drawer, pawing through a playboy, a playgirl (honestly, you didn't not expect that), and gum wrappers before you find a condom in the back corner. "do you want another one?"

"would it be so terrible?"

you don't answer that. he sounds too sad.

after finding the condom, you set it on top of the drawer and let patrick prep you, his hands crawling up your skirt to spread your legs. where you sit, his cock's sheathed under your panties and through your ass cheeks, while his pants press your pussy. you're undone from his fingers, moaning into his neck, teething on his ear. it's relieving to not have to explain what you like to get a good lay. patrick already knows.

"you're so wet," he grunts, and he's right -- you're so soaked his fingers' thrusts sound squishy. he rubs the textrous part inside of you, and you quiver, hands bracing on his shoulders as your cunt tightens. "mmm -- you could stay here all fucking hanukkah, let me feed you, buy you fucking presents, eat this pretty pussy every morning -- you know my family loves you, they'd love you being here -- they think i need to cuff you fucking yesterday --"

he skims his thumb's knuckle over your clit, and you're cumming, legs too splayed around his lap to close, so you're embarrassingly pried open, your cunt clenching. you whine in his ear, broken, high-pitched. "pat -- oh, fuck, pat -- " he keeps his fingers working until you start squirming, the grind of your ass on his cock becoming too much.

with your panties pulled to the side, his condomed cock slips in easily, and when it does, he moans louder than you, his hands hard on your ass, fingertips a bruising brute force. not on purpose. he just can't help himself when it's you. "jesus christ, missed your pussy so fucking much." you're pliant, so he starts thrusting right away. the force sends you leaning into his chest. his dick slaps against your ass every time he sinks in. "other guys don't fuck you like me, do they?"

you say nothing, but you whimper, burying your face into his neck.

you expect it when he pulls your hair. not hard, just enough to make you look at him. "do they?" he slows to hard, pumping thrusts, like he's milking your cunt.

"they don't," you moan, head lolling against his tug. "they don't -- god, just fuck me, pat, fuck me -- please -- "

he does, releasing your hair. after pounding you raw, he cums with a long, husky moan, eyes rolling, the back of his head against his headboard. the condom fills with cum, and you feel its barrier swelling with warmth every time your pussy twitches.

you pull off and lay beside him for a second, catching your breath. your panties are too wet to keep wearing, so you strip them off, kicking them somewhere in the room. when you open your eyes, you see patrick looking at you.

"i was thinking -- "

"you do that?"

"never mind," he laughs, pushing his sweaty curls off his forehead. "... you did end up saying please."

"alright, i'm leaving." his ego's practically pushing you out of the room. when you stand, pulling your sweater over your head, you realize you can't see your panties through the utter man of his room, messy and disorganized. they're dark, too. you groan.

"what?"

"nothing. i just -- look, i -- my family's doing, like -- a thing today, so i have to go." they're not. you just need out of there.

after you leave, patrick's scrambling for your panties. he took note of where they landed.

[mayghosts]

OBSESSED: (Kate Martin x Reader)

Summary: You and Caitlin ended your relationship as good friends. However, one of Caits new teammates seems a bit too interested in your last relationship.

Warnings: used Y/N 🫤, alcohol, obsessive crushes

AN: I almost didn't post this but... we will see how long i leave it up for b4 i redo it

Kate always considered herself to be a perfect friend, but lately something has been hanging over head.

From the first time Caitlin had introduced you to the team. Kate knew she was cooked. Her stomache flipping and her face heating up as you smiled and introduced yourself. Cooked. You got along so well with the team, and watching you talk about your hobbies and interests only made Kates butterflies increase tenfold. That night Kate took it upon herself to find your Instagram, as well as your moms Instagram… and most of your extended family.

And if you knew how much I looked at her pictures you would think we’re bestfriends

Two months later Kate felt like she was in some sort of “What Would You Do?” show, listening to Caitlin explain how you two had ended things on good terms. On one side she was sad for her friend. On the other hand she had just swiped off your Tik Tok profile and was just a bit too excited that you were single.

And I know you loved her and I know I’m butthurt But I can’t help it, no, I can’t help it, Im so obsessed with you ex.

Seeing you in the crowd at the next Iowa game was slightly unexpected. You and Caitlin had been broken up for almost two weeks now, maybe you were on better terms than Kate had thought? She pryed her eyes away from you in the stands, attempting to re-focus on the game. Every basket she made that night, she felt her eyes drift up to where you were sitting. Were you watching? Did you see that? Even though Kate had been a top scorer that game, she secretly accredited that Iowa win to you.

I'm starin’ at her like I wanna get hurt, and I remember every single detail you have told me so be careful baby

It was driving Kate crazy, having a crush and not being able to tell her friends. You were driving her crazy. She was at the point that she knew far too much about you, and she probably wouldn’t be able to have a normal conversation with you. In her mind there was no better solution to this than getting drunk and starting a life altering situationship.

However upon entering the bar, she was met with your smiling face. Kate felt herself loosing her sanity as she watched you dance with your friends under the colored lights. She had no idea how long she sat at that bar, just keeping an eye on you. Long enough to get absolutely hammered. She was absolutely obsessed with you.

She's got those hips she's got those lips, the life of every fucking party

The next morning Kates hangover anxiety quickly turned to hangover guilt as she noticed she spent all of late night thirsting over her best friends ex- girlfriend. Not being able to take it anymore she slid off her bed, making her way to Gabbies room.

Gently knocking she pushed the door open, “Gabbie, I need your help. I think I’m fucked.” Looking up from her book Gabbie responded “Kate whats wrong? How drunk did you get last night!?” “No this isn’t drunk me being dumb its sober me, I am going to tell you this but please don’t freak out I know its so bad.” Gabbie stared silently at Kate, “I have the worst crush on y/n… you know.. Caitlins ex?” Silence fell over the room. “Jesus Christ Kate you made it sound like you killed someone…. I mean that's not terrible, like they're on good terms and all that. Y/N is so sweet, and incredibly talented. I know she has said good stuff about you in the past, she thinks your cute.”

“She's talented, she's good with kids, she even speaks kindly about me”

“Hey Cait can we talk?” Kate felt like incinerating herself. Her hands were sweaty as she fiddled with the end of her pony tail. The locker room was empty aside from the two of them and Kate knew it was now or never. Caitlon glanced over, taling in Kates anxious appearance "yea whats up?" Taking a deep breath Kate started, "So... I have a crush, but its someone we both know. It's really shitty of me, but I need to tell you."

[bee-named-alex]

Ok so ep7 of iwtv s2. One of the notes i wrote down as i was watching was "fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. nope. just nope. jesus fucking christ don't you dare do this" so you can imagine how i felt. Spoilers.

Ok ok. So I'm so fine rn you don't even know how fine I am. I didn't cry even though I expected to, I was more like empty, which might be even worse (read: better) lol

I'll start with a few quick thoughts, before I get into the bigger things. For the first like 10 minutes I couldn't stop thinking about how great Lestat (Sam) looks like im sorry. Him uncovering the homophobe's filth back at him? 10/10.

The actors are just so- perfect I have to say. Like we don't know what's true and I probably shouldn't believe anything just to be safe, but I found myself believing them everything. Also the whole time I wanted to hate the audience but they think it's just a play and if I, with all the other knowledge, find myself drawn to believe obvious lies, it's not really their fault that they do too.

Let's start with Lestat then. I was so glad to finally see the "real" (not really, even Sam said so) Lestat again

I haven't read the books (and even if i did i know that they change things) so idk how they made him testify because I just don't think he would. Maybe they tortured and forced him, "gave him a choice", maybe he was planning on saving them. Or maybe he just actually was out for vengeance i just don't know.

"You cannot script a hurricane" yeah you can't I loved that him going of script threw Santiago off so much, lmao (like he literally said "I'm about to violate the 5th law" aka kill Lestat I love that. Lestat is such a little shit.)

And when he went of script he told the truth (or as close to truth as we got during the trial i feel). Yes he also did break the laws. I like that he didn't let Santiago manipulate the audience to sympathize with him (don't get me wrong, it's not that he didn't want them to sympathize with him, he just wanted to manipulate them himself lol)

His and Louis' first eye contact (at around 11 minutes I believe) literally broke my heart.

When he talks about the loneliness I can't help but feel sorry for him.

I found it honestly hilarious when he was recounting their whole history backwards, like bitch please, it literally happened the other way arounf. Idk why it was just so funny how he was blatantly lying.

But then when they fully revisited the scenes from last season my jaw dropped.

So firstly Claudia's turning... I am so confused by it. Because it's obviously different from what we saw last time - and the scene itself is so moving. I mean Louis begging Lestat on his knees like he's some god and trying himself and failing and Lestat doing it for him even tho he knows it's a terrible idea. But the confusing part - in Dubai Louis rn says that Lestat's trial version is better than his and that he didn't want to believe it at the trial but now he knows it to be more true.

But like last season, so like 2 weeks ago, he told his own version?? Did he not realize until now, that he's talking about the trial, that he doesn't believe it? Did he lie on purpose but change his mind, is he lying now? Does Armand have to do something with it again? Tf is happening.

And then the fight. Again it's different but this time I remember that we didn't actually see this part of the fight so it could technically be true?? I don't really know rn how big of a part we didn't see last time. But maybe the truth about the fight is somewhere in the middle.

Amazing scene nonetheless, again, if I didn't know shit, I too would 100 % believe Lestat to be the victim. Up until the drop, that is extreme either way.

And Lestat going fully of script here, and his tears and his regret and his voice trembling and I'm sure that he means it. It wasn't a part of the performance. Sam Reid, the actor that he is, fuck.

It is just wo so great, like these new versions we get by Louis telling the story of Lestat showing him the story (which Louis already told us very differently) and on top of that anything could be misremembered. Or edited Armand. Unreliable narration at it's best.

Ok so Armand. "I could not prevent it" Fuck you. No sorry I might be a little harsh but yea no actually I'm not.

First the thing with Nicki and how he was "helped"... Armand got rid of him to have Lestat to himself and now he's doing the same with Claudia and Madeleine to have Louis.

Him having to watch is brutal and I believe his emotions but not his words. It was terrible to watch sure and painful and he didn't want it to happen... but he still sold them out?

He saves Louis. And it's amazing, the fear for his love in his face as he does it. He says it took all his strength and sure. But he could've saved them all. He can literally stop time. Ok maybe not but I for sure think he could've done it.

And rn in Dubai he's trying to convince himself or Louis or Daniel or maybe everyone that it wasn't his fault. But Daniel seems to not believe him (and calls his shit out a few times, good for him). And he's also making Lestat be more of a villain then he is I think (he would not do nothing when watching Claudia's death I'm sorry, that's his daughter.)

Claudia and Madeleine. My heart broke. They were doomed from the begginning. It didn't matter if they fought or not, it didn't matter their love or that they were right, it didn't matter that Madeleine was innocent and Claudia justified (maybe) in her crimes.

It didn't matter that Claudia was right -"We poisoned him, he's fine now. I can also cry and say I'm sorry"- because yes this was exactly true.

Claudia's final request (and Lestat giving it to her and then looking almost proud?? after she says it) and promise of death to all the people who doomed her and Madeleine.

And her rage. "It was never about me" and that's also true and yet she dies because of it. Tragic.

Madeleine's "My coven is Claudia" is just pure love and again it's what dooms her and again it's fucking tragic.

Watching the execution I couldn't breath really. Hurts still. And I don't believe Armand's version of the story though. Not that he tried but couldn't save them, not that Lestat didn't even try.

Louis, poor Louis. Living with guilt and sorrow isn't easy and he's living through it again now. And he can't even trust his own memories. I need him happy. He's not gonna be but I need him to be.

Also his live burial?? like fuck. That was vile. Like we know that he is fine now but still.

Previews. Santiago will die and if he doesn't I will kill him. Louis is a pyromaniac (yay), I'm ready for the whole coven to burn.

From the trailers we didn't yet see the bookshelves falling on Daniel so it has to be next episode. Also we didn't yet see the Loustat hug and I don't think it's what happens after the trial, especially not with Louis coming to kill Lestat, so that would mean it has to have happened later (Dubai maybe? I mean we do need Lestat's side of the story next season so we could get him now.)

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s2 episode 14 thoughts

i just finished the episode and stared at the screen for a bit and then burst into laughter because. what the hell did i just watch?

all i could think of while viewing this episode was that video of brittany broski in epcot sipping on a drink, shaking her head in confusion, and saying "heyyy! what are we doing?"

lmao. okay. so let's start from the top. man hold on i'm giggling again due to how baffled i am. okay i need to Get It Together.

(i assume that those who read this blog are already familiar with this episode so i'm not gonna list TWs and i normally don't feel the need to but we get some... interesting flavors here, like child abuse and antisemitism mention. and to be clear, i am not laughing at those- i am laughing about how utterly confused i am, and how i have no answers to anything, and only more questions than before this episode began)

so the episode title is in german and i had no idea what it meant but it was quickly explained. we'll get to that.

we start at a PTA meeting- a parent-teacher association, arguably the scariest of all settings we have yet encountered. and they're arguing about the school musical. someone wants to do jesus christ superstar (banger show) but they think that is inappropriate so i'm like oh, they're just super christian, and hippie jesus must offend them. and they also shoot down the idea of grease for language so this only reinforces my belief.

they start praying, which was in line with my earlier assumptions, but they're praying to satan. which raises the question: why does satan care if the musical grease says "fuck"?

(but this made the idea of JCS being inappropriate very very funny)

they're chanting the german that the episode is titled, which means "his is the hand that wounds" which tracks i suppose

now we're in the woods of new hampshire, with some teenagers, one of which says this girl's mittens are "giving him a gingrich". so i looked that up thinking it was some sort of 90's slang i was not versed in, but the only result was a reddit post trying to figure out what they meant in that exact episode. which did make me feel justified.

so these teens are being creepy, reciting things at a witch's altar and it looks like the boys are gonna try and be weird with the girls. they're doing some reciting and RATS BE UPON YE.

they're making a break for it, when the lead guy's neck is snapped. and we don't see by who.

enter our agents! the policeman is saying that he KNOWS they listen to that devil music, to which mulder quips, "the night chicago died?", so i had to google THAT too, and its a song about al capone. so i'll look into that i suppose.

policeman is like noooo, it's that evil METAL music

they're examining the altar, and scully asks who he was with, and the policeman says uhh we thought he was by himself? she says well, there's two six packs here, which generally suggests company, and also here's a scrap from a book. why didn't your guys notice this? and i thought this was going to be a plot point, how the cops were overlooking basic details, but they just sucked for no reason lmao

i also made a note that her hair looked really good here. a little wavy. the way i wished my hair looked.

mulder's going on about this place having a weird feeling, which i wish he would elaborate upon, but she's saying nooo, it's nothing, until...

toads fall out of the sky and onto their umbrellas.

YES BABY!!! CAMP TV!!!! TOAD SHOWERS!!!

(also gonna NEED their reactions in gif form at some point because i'm howling)

((and also how did they film that? go to the toad store to pick up some background actors?))

they go to the library to try and trace down who had the book they found the scrap from, and scully's theory is that the toads must have been brought by the tornadoes that were recently in the area. this is a scully approved theory.

they go into the school to try and talk to the surviving boy, who is sitting in science class with a sub, and when they announce they are looking for him the kid tries to jump out the window. but mulder is a track star and grabs his legs before he can fully yeet himself out. and i'm thinking to myself, if the FBI came and grabbed some kid in my science class, i think i would pass out.

our agents pull this kid and the two girls who were there aside for questioning, and the boy says he was just trying to "get some". at the witch's altar. a sick and twisted juvenile.

CUT SCENE to the PTA who say amongst themselves that one of them must have killed the boy, whose name is jerry, but they all deny it. he was killed with his heart and eyes ripped out, which is in line with their practices. so yeah that's suspicious but after that episode of trophy hunting killers, it could be anyone.

but when our agents enter the scene, the PTA say that it must have been the media that brainwashed the kids into satanic killers. and scully is like. if that were the case there would be tens of thousands of murders. and they say "okay so you get the stakes here" which had me howling. "tHe mEdiA iS bRaInWaShInG tHe cHiLdrEn" <- wow this is something i cannot say i have heard in the year of our lord 2024 (/s)

when they walk out of the school, mulder stops to get a drink at a water fountain. which is already funny because that's a grown ass man. when he notices that the water is going down the wrong way for the hemisphere they are in. and i'm laughing because why the HELL does he know which way the water is supposed to go down the drain. like i have never thought of that in my entire life and i guess now i will.

(btw this is never explained. we don't know why the water goes the other way here. witchcraft, i guess)

at this point, i'm thinking, this substitute teacher has to be the killer, and she opens up the drawer of her desk to put away the tests the students were taking, and we see a heart and eyeballs. gasp! i paused the screen here to make note of this revelation and the eyeballs on stalks looked sososo funny. and she just COVERS THEM UP with some papers which i can imagine must have been hard to grade after being soaked in blood.

they take a trip to the school therapist and mulder says boy, there are an awful lot of cases of mental health troubles here. and the doctor says, yes, this is high school. which honestly? i remember high school and yeah. that does track. it was a strange time. but mulder is not pleased with this explanation and expects that it's something deeper

scully went online and found what sounds like a report on the case- a boy killed with his eyes and heart removed- and mulder is like omg where did you get this?

well. i did not see this coming.

she then keeps reading and it is deeply antisemitic. actually allow me to do a verbatim report from the notes here:

"she went online and i was like haha she used this newfangled internet :) AND THEN SHE READS AN ARTICLE CALLING A SIMILAR CASE ACTUAL BLOOD LIBEL?? MY JAW HIT THE FLOOR IN RECORD TIME oh she found it in a Nazi newspaper from 1934... oh my gosh y'all i thought this was going in a VERY different direction"

so i thought that maybe this was framing the murder as an act of religious persecution? but it wasn't. they just threw that in there for... reasons?

mulder explaining wiccan lore... yeah that's a man who has studied religions

at this point, we are back in the science classroom, and the substitute teacher is handing out baby pigs. OUGH. i am so glad i never had to do that in school.

this poor girl is about to cut into the pig and she looks like she is going to be sick, which is in all honesty exactly what i would have been doing, but then she starts screaming and seeing things like the pig moving??? and squeaking???

she runs to the office, where the agents are serving looks in a corner, and she's told her dad is gonna come get her, but she runs away and mulder chases her and says "you're remembering!" because he is once again convinced of the reality of repressed memories due to his own personal experience

they're staring at this teenager as she sits crying on a picnic bench spilling her life story and again, the whole dealing with kids thing, who thought this was gonna be part of the fbi? not me!

this girl is crying, saying that her stepdad used to hurt her, and that they would chant and tie her and her sister up.... and well. this next part will also be best delivered from my notes verbatim:

"THEY WOULD GET ME PREGNANT AND THEN THEY WOULD KILL THE BABIES???? HUH??? I'VE HAD THREE CHILDREN AND THEY'RE ALL BURIED IN THE CELLAR??? STEPDAD KILLED HER SISTER??? WHAT THE FUCK"

and boy we do not even sort have time to unpack all of that. but it is safe to say that i was thoroughly gagged, and our agents seem only mildly surprised. in retrospect, i think they didn't believe her, which was further proved by a line like "imagine if what she is saying is true", but i, the viewer, believed her pig-induced memories

the girl is hysterical, and scully moves closer to hug her, and hold her while she sobs into her trench coat, and i'm sitting here wondering what is going on (very few answers are delivered btw)

(shoutout to scully to letting a strange teenager cry into her while confessing to all of That)

so the agents go over to the girl's parent's house, the stepdad of whom is in the PTA cult btw, and they ask about the things the daughter told them and i was shocked because. if they really WERE killing babies, telling them they knew about it could perhaps allow the parents to tamper with the evidence sitting in the basement. but the parents are shocked by the whole thing.

scully is asking why the daughter would say all this- and the mom is saying that her and stepdad have been having marriage problems- but i don't think that leads to THESE SORT OF CLAIMS?

at this point, i was deeply confused. i had no idea what to believe or where the narrative was leading me beyond the fact the substitute was evil. i wrote that i was "mentally putting up a board and there is string everywhere and i'm trying to figure out what is going on"

the girl had mentioned a sister who was killed by the stepdad at age 8- and scully says, well did you have any other kids? and the mom says yeah, one who died. and was she 8 when she died? not 8 years, but 8 weeks.

so what is going on here

scully is trying to be pretty careful and tiptoe around the situation, figure out what is real and what isn't, whereas mulder gets alone with stepdad and just asks him "did you do it?" which had me HOWLING. absolutely zero subtlety in this man.

he opens the door to the cellar and it SLAMS shut and stepdad man gets VERY angry and tells them to leave. can you do that? kick the fbi out while they're investigating you? i didn't realize that was an option

okay, so the girl is trying to make up her final, and is back with the substitute making up her pig autopsy because it's a final and of course you don't want to miss a final! the teacher takes her jewelry so it doesn't get dirty which makes sense to me, but then we see her in her office burning it over a candle??? and she's MOANING??? and it seems she's controlling the girl into CUTTING HER ARM??? she's bleeding out on the floor. and i'm still wondering what the hell is going on. but this poor girl is dead.

the agents are at the crime scene and the substitute is being weird af but i guess that's to be expected of someone who just did psychic murder

the PTA committee says the energy is very bad and they need to do a sacrifice to clear the air... so they say they're gonna frame the girl who just died as killing jerry, the og murdered boy, and say that she was jealous he liked another girl. and the stepdad seems pleased with this plot, which only made me further believe that he did the evil things he denied.

so at this point i was thinking, has anyone thought to check the cellar and see if there are in fact babies down there. no? just me? okay

mulder smells incense in the substitute's office, which she says is to cover the smell of pig, but he knows is also used in black mass, and frankly i'm shocked that it didn't set off the fire alarms, because i went to public school and i know how finicky those things are. but the situation is looking sus as hell because the actual teacher she's subbing for has only EVER missed these two days of school and also apparently he's out with... flesh-eating bacteria? that seems a bit odd, don't you think? AND no one can recall hiring this substitute.

there was a very loud and spooky clap of lightning here that felt reminiscent of the halloween specials of shows i used to watch as a kid. and i was wondering if this was perhaps meant as a halloween special of sorts. can anyone confirm.

mulder must have picked up on me telling him to go check the cellar for babies, so he gets a warrant and goes down there, but STEPDAD IS WAITING FOR HIM IN THE DARK! he's monologuing about his religion, and being raised to think that humans are no better than animals...

but then those in the PTA decided they would frame his dead daughter for jerry's murder, he realizes he IS better than an animal! better late than never for such a basic realization to hit, i suppose?

he also says that his beliefs were responsible for her being killed. so i hoped he would elaborate and surprise. he did not.

he admits to including them in ceremonies because the blood of the young is very powerful (???) but he says he never hurt them the way she claimed. and there were definitely no babies. she must have gotten that from the tabloids, and it mixed in with the repressed memories. which doesn't sound like how repressed memories work so i do not trust this guy still.

meanwhile the substitute is doing some witchery, while scully is still in the school! this cannot bode well for her!!!!

mulder is shocked by stepdad's stupidity, and says "did you really think you could call up the devil and ask him to behave?" which is objectively a banger line, even if used quite literally

the witch/substitute is moaning again and she's dialing numbers and mulder's phone rings, and scully's voice says there's something going on in the school, so he handcuffs stepdad to the cellar to get tf out of there, and locks the door behind him, but the cellar door OPENS????

A SNAKE IS COMING NOW???? he is BIG and is he gonna EAT stepdad...?

YES HE IS??? BOA AROUND THE NECK AND TORSO??? HUH?? what is going ON.

mulder arrives at the school just as the snake begins to feast, and he has his gun drawn and does his famous "scully?" yell, when he bursts in on her... just chilling in the dark and doing her work LMAO. he's all "why did you call?" and she says "i didn't?"

meanwhile the snake is doing some serious eating and the SUB HAS SNAKE EYES NOW?? HELLO?

they rush back to stepdad's place, where they find the door unlocked, and nothing but human bones on the ground and what looks like a snake track, which scully points out is impossible because it would take HOURS for a snake to eat a human and then weeks to digest...

and he makes some comment about her watching TLC and i'm thinking, well, i feel like knowing how long a snake would take to eat a human is more relevant than knowing which way the water goes down in a sink, so don't try and nerd shame her here.

but they find a snakeskin so they know it's a snake, and they remember there was a snake in the classroom, so it's time to get back there because clearly he has been consumed and there is not much that can be done to undo being eaten

the PTA folks are having a conference, talking about the death of stepdad, and how they need to make a sacrifice, and they say that if mulder knows what the sacrifice is for, it'll make it more meaningful, so ARE THEY GONNA SACRIFICE HIM??????

when mulder and scully return to the classroom, the substitute is moaning on the floor, saying she thinks the PTA folks killed the boy, and i'm like uh-huh, for sure, snake woman

scully opens her drawer and finds the eyeballs which are pretty incriminating... but as they go out to return to the substitute...

the PTA ATTACKS! a bookshelf is thrown on scully, and mulder is beaten by two men. and they are tied up and taken to the gym showers???? here i wrote "what the hell, there are two minutes left in this episode" and i was hoping it would somehow resolve itself so we didn't end up with another two parter and i could go to sleep after this in peace

(which. it did wrap up in those two minutes but i'm confused so there is little of the aforementioned peace i hoped for going on)

so the PTA crew has a dagger and a gun for sacrificial purposes, and they're about to be sacrificed in a high school gym shower, when the substitute uses her witch powers to make the PTA members turn the gun upon THEMSELVES, and frees our agents from their trouble. sort of. because they are still tied up and wet in the shower.

(does anyone know what the hell is happening.)

they stop writhing about and make it back to the classroom, where the substitute has written a note saying it's been nice working with you and then she's gone.

hey!! what ARE we doing here?

so i don't even know where to begin. i feel a lot of questions were raised and not one of them answered. what was up with that girl saying she was forced to give birth? were the parents denying it because it didn't happen or were they covering up the truth? what was with the whole eight year old vs eight weeks old dead sister? did the substitute kill jerry AND the girl, AND the PTA, and then just... leave? was she the dark force they were worshiping taking revenge on their lack of faith? but if that were the case, why would she kill the PTA members who were about to make a sacrifice? why would she kill the two kids and three adults but spare the agents? where did she go? why did she briefly have the eyes of a snake? where did the snake go? how did he eat a whole person that fast?

man. i'm not sure i've ever been so baffled.

was this an attempt to comment on the satanic panic? like, was the show pointing out how silly it was, or validating the fears of people across america?

i'm so deeply confused. can someone tell me if i'm missing something. was there some overarching theme that went over my head. is this setting up a part two where there will be answers. or is that the whole thing.

?????

[idonthaveacontract]

image I love. don't have anything interesting to say about it

[sparklecryptid]

I had no patience for people policing other peoples ships before i went to library tech school and library tech school has make me a little bit pissy about the entire thing actually.

[mamawasatesttube]

so we're calling "the trope where men act like they own their daughters like property" just being "girl dads" now are we? is that what we're doing? are we doing that now? is that really what we're doing now huh?? we're really just doing that now!!!!!

[kartana]

I feel so sad this sucks i can't stop thinking about doing everything wrong with v I feel like im gonna cry I hate going to sleep early the day after I stay up it's just hours of laying down with stupid train of thoughts that come at night and I can't sleep I just want to sleep I don't want to feel so awful in the morning I don't want to feel awful right now I wish I could just get my thoughts in order get to the point and cry and be done with it. Nothing is going to change from yesterday to today to tomorrow I will just have been miserable and things won't change because of it I wish the world was kinder I wish the world wasn't so cruel I wish things were different I want to cry and now I can't even feel that anymore.

[moki-dokie]

how to make 19 year old boy who came of age during the pandemic and never had a real real job before now realize he needs to Chill The Fuck Out and be Less eagar about working for free holy shit he is impossible to wrangle

[musical-chick-13]

Okay, no, sorry, I’m still mad about this. “Be critical of the media you consume and examine why you react to it in the way that you do, support marginalized and stigmatized identities.” Yeah, until it’s about mental illness.

A woman (or even man, if he’s deemed over-emotional) makes music about suffering from mental illness and people just go, “What are they complaining about, that’s so immature, hashtag wangst.” (And then, sometimes, inexplicably, if the mentally ill woman gets better and writes happier music, they then talk about how artistically bankrupt she is now and that she should go back to hating herself.) People LOVE cis white pRoBLeMaTiC (straight) fictional men until they are realistically mentally ill, in which case they’re “whiny” and “insufferable” and deserve to die violently, apparently (or, if fandom is merciful, they’re ignored). (And then they celebrate when they DO inevitably get killed off.) “Do your duty and watch [thing I, mc13, personally find insufferable] For The (white) Gays because it has Gays.” Sure, will you watch c4 Pure, the ONLY show specifically about OCD, then? (No, the answer is no, it’s always no.)

I can’t get anyone to watch Doom Patrol. I couldn’t get people (in general-I did convince a few irl friends thank GOD) to watch Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. One of the most popular and acclaimed shows right now has a character with schizophrenia who was turned into the Big Bad Villain for no fucking reason. One of the most commonly-cited examples of Iconic™ queer media involves a mentally ill man being broken over and over and over again before The Ship™ can reasonably happen. DW introduced a major character who was at one point suffering from mental illness in her past, AND THEN ALL MENTION OF THIS WAS COMPLETELY DROPPED IN THE FUTURE, WITH NO BEARING ON ANYTHING TO THE POINT WHERE I FORGOT IT EVEN EXISTED??!?!? R*tched was a thing that existed despite the Sad Sympathetic Backstory treatment being IN DIRECT CONTRADICTION OF WHAT PURPOSE THIS CHARACTER SERVED IN One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. THEY GAVE. A SAD WOOBIE VILLAIN TREATMENT. TO THE /LITERAL PERSONIFICATION/ OF ABLEISM. THAT IS HER FUNCTION. TO EXIST AS A SYMBOL OF ALL THE WAYS SOCIETY OPPRESSES THE DISABLED AND MENTALLY ILL.

I am!!! Literally!!!!! The only one!!!!!!!!! Complaining about these things!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE ONLY ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No one else has said ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No one is talking about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m so tired!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[possibly-eli]

once again posting a reminder (very gently, when you consider how fucking frustrated i am) that i am anti-kff! there are otherkin terms that people can use and, instead of educating themselves on this, they actively CHOOSE to belittle and bully otherkin folks, all while being a teensy tiny little bit ableist in how they go about it. its not a "erm these people are just minding their business and they're ALSO kin anyway" NO they are NOT. they are, by very fucking definition, either 'hearted or 'link (IF their connection is genuine ANYWAYS). that is NOT. KIN. and its kinda fucking telling if you think a community whose entire existence hinges on deliberate ignorance and harassment of a group is equal to the group theyre harassing and bastardising the terms and experiences of

[panspy]

hmmmmmm.................vent post under tags...... feel free to give advice or dont¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[foreverethereal123]

Hskskdkzjrkfjskjfkdjfkdjfkfkfkfjsmdk!

Okay I have been admiring this one privately for a while but it NEEDS to be out there because LOOK. AT. THIS. BEAUTY.

I was incredibly lucky to win @bayleedrawsx's giveaway and I requested something for my OH babies and I am OBSESSED with the way it came out😭😭😭😭😭

LOOK. AT. THIS.

I AM DKSKFKSKFKKSKFKRJFKXMGKDMFK!

Thank you so so so much, Baylee for this amazing piece and for letting me have this opportunity even when I was so indecisive dkjdkdkdk sorry about that lol CONGRATULATIONS on your milestone!!! You deserve that and so much more!! 💕💕💕💕

[moe-broey]

Jesus fucking Christ .

[james-stark-the-writer]

bought and started playing Cloudpunk because i wanted to watch a video essay on it and honestly, from the video title and based on the person that made the video, i don't know what i was expecting the game to be but i don't know why i didn't expect it to be a "existential dread under capitalism" simulator, this is simply too fucking much. like the game (so far) has some really good fucking writing and really good fucking pacing and really good fucking voice acting and a gorgeous world and great design and aesthetics but like my brain is simply shutting off trying to think about the implications like it's too much. talked to Teko and my brain just switched off trying to think about the implications. talked to Eveline and my brain started to think about the implications and i completely zoned out (not really but my brain was almost static at that point although i clapped when she said "don't tell me how to label myself"). rn i'm only a few deliveries in, i just gave Never-Slow Joe his drive converter and the moral dilemma the game presented was simply too much so i am. done for the day. that is a problem for another day.

[doctorweebmd]

look i think the thing people forget is that My Hero Academia is not a typical shounen. Its purposeful. Its well written. Horikoshi does not DO throw away plot-lines. He doesn't ignore plot holes. Over the past 10 years he has proven, time and time and TIME again that this is an incredibly thought out, narrative-driven brilliant story that has taken popular tropes and preconceptions and turned them on their head.

Have a little faith.