I recently recalled a fic I had read a few years ago and couldn't find again. I initially though that it was because it was simply buried under a million new fics and that i'd have trouble finding it because i only remembered a few details. I turned to Tumblr's fic find tag to see if I could enlist the help of other users in hope of finding it again. Well. i think i did. I'm still not 100% sure that I'm right, but from what people in the tags were saying the author of my mystery fic deleted all of their works off of Ao3, and while they still have an active Tumblr account, they haven't updated since last year. I got curious and looked into it a bit more, and it turns out the reason the (possible) author of my mystery fic left Ao3 is because of harassment. horrible, and constant harassment by babies commenting on their works because they found something in them that they didn't like. because they read the fic and decided that it either wasn't good enough for them, or 'wrong'. users here on Tumblr have been preaching to the masses for forever on proper Ao3 fic etiquette. use the tagging system, filter things you don't want to see, don't like don't read/interact. The close tab button is RIGHT THERE PEOPLE. you don't like something that you made the conscious decision, after reading the tags (unless you decided not to, in which case that's your own fault) and the description of the work itself to click and read. there are multiple ways of steering clear of content that you do not like, and if you somehow stumble across something that you didn't want to see, even if you've taken the above measures, that is still not. and i repeat, it is NOT and excuse to berate, scold, belittle, annoy, pressure, intimidate, condescend to or harass the creator of that work. especially, and i mean ESPECIALLY, not to the point of them deleting years worth of content and going dark on the internet. that is multiple steps to far. you've clearly seen the line drawn in the sand and hop, skip, jumped right the fuck over it. there is no reason whatsoever that excuses that amount of horrible behaviour, it takes so much less effort to simply not interact with something you don't like. years worth of fanfiction that someone spent countless hours and put so much care and effort into is lost now, because some people decided it was ok to harass someone about something that is FICTIONAL. how many times does it have to be explained to people that fanfiction is not real. the actions and scenarios performed and executed in fanfiction is not a reflection of real life, and could very likely be very deep and personal to someone. or maybe they just wanted to write some fucked up shit!! you are not obligated to read or interact with their fucked up shit, but that sure as shit doesn't give you the right to make them feel like utter garbage for making it. seriously people, this kind of thing happens to so many Ao3 authors and we don't even notice it and it makes me sick! fanfiction is a free service! authors aren't obligated to write anything for us readers, they do it for their own enjoyment, and incidentally, ours. there's a reason the saying "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" is so well known. because it's fucking true. don't have anything nice or constructive to say that isn't with malicious intent, drag your mouse or finger to the close tab button, and move on with your life. it isn't that hard
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I appreciate that Shirai didn’t think this was a satisfactory conclusion to a conflict that had been simmering in the background for twenty-five chapters, but this was still one of the most disappointing moments of the back half of the series for me, especially when he notes Ayshe contributed to saving Norman in chapter 6 of the mystic code book.
“Recover from the stigma of slaughter” is an interesting way of phrasing it because as @hylialeia concisely phrases it in this post, Norman and the Lambda kids do deserve the chance to do this:
#this is why I feel he's so similar to scar from fmab #like I love the demon characters in tpn but it would have been extremely iffy if the writing had decided they were all suddenly innocent #overall the narrative does a good job of balancing that complexity #without veering off into that self-righteous bs so many stories try to pull #like. the demons commit genocide. actively farmed humans.experimented on them. brainwashed and enslaved a good portion of them.and that happened when there were alternatives! #even the more sympathetic demons are guilty of complacency in the face of this #and the reason I'm still able to root for them is because that sympathy #doesn't require norman or the other lambda kids to be demonized (pun not intended) #so yeah I'm not onboard with the idea that norman didn't ~suffer enough~ for his actions #the kid was raised as food and turned into a human experiment and tortured #the idea that like. musica or sonju should have been meaner to him or whatever leaves such a bad taste in my mouth #(ayshe is valid tho.)
But Ayshe is only given one impassioned sentence in response to her father being slaughtered that’s enough to make her fist clench in anger before the narrative pushes onward.
(Chapter 139 & Mystic Code Book Chapter 6 Q&A)
And it’s made even more tragic because Ayshe’s father was largely reclusive already after a lifetime of being made fun of for his misshapen face
Adopting Ayshe pushed him further to demon society’s outskirts, potentially not speaking to any other demons after quitting his job except possibly at the rare market exchange for goods he might need for her. There was no one he was going to tell about the Lambda escapees.
(Shirai does state he was part of the aristocracy at some point to explain why he knew the demon language:)
(So between that and working at the farm, he did implicitly uphold the system without questioning it, but by the time he leaves his job we can assume he’s only eating humans to maintain his sanity, or he’s somehow related to the group of aristocrats who drank Mujika’s blood 700 years prior so he has no need for it. He wasn’t actively fighting against it, but he wasn’t contributing to it in the last twelve years of his life.)
But while most of the Lambda crew doesn’t know any of this backstory, Shirai also notes that Norman knew the demon language by the point they meet Ayshe thanks to Smee:
So he knows exactly what she’s saying as he stands before her in the wake of her father’s murder. He doesn’t make any attempts to correct the others’ inferences based on their own experiences with the demons at Lambda. Ayshe either quickly composes herself and goes along with them without a fight or another word, or Norman plays her reaction off as her not being in the right mind after being her held captive by a demon for however long as they carry her off to the paradise hideout (I’m assuming it’s the former though because her dogs would likely attack in the latter scenario). And he lets all of this simmer for potentially months (the timeline’s not exactly clear on how long Ayshe has been with them)
(Mystic Code Book Chapter 7)
instead of talking to her about any of this despite knowing they made a mistake. Upon meeting with her again after the events at the imperial capital, he takes a few panels to collect himself before deciding on a single sentence to say to her, and then moves on. Ayshe contributed to saving him per Shirai, but we’re not privy to any attempts at him repaying her or trying to make amends. It’s a shame such a promising, nuanced conflict that should not have an easy, immediate answer was sidestepped to save on page space and expedite the series finale.
I do think it’s interesting that despite whatever he said being infuriating to her, Ayshe is willing to be in physical proximity to him during the timeskip, and her and her dogs allow him to hold a puppy.
(Chapter 181; fucking rip Vincent getting a new scar on his head)
Like many people I’m defaulting to him providing her with some form of a short apology in that chapter 160 exchange. He’s accepted that Ayshe might kill him one day, though after everything he’s gone through in his arc about the flawed thinking of sacrificing your life in pursuit of a cause, I don’t believe he offered her his life in exchange as part of any honor customs, or at least not while he’s still able to do some good in the world. Ayshe has accepted this, albeit not happily by any means.
Finally, all that said,
(TPN Exhibition Booklet: Tracks to the Neverland (Dec. 2020) Interview)
Really fucking glad these didn’t happen ldskfslk
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bro, i was just listening to metallica’s seek and destroy on the drive home from work and a tinsy little thought popped into my head and now my brain in invaded by the absolute brilliant idea of the marauders band au.
like, here:
sirius: he’s lead like hetfeild on vocals and guitar - desired by men and women alike - much like damino from måneskin - he’s the heartthrob
remus: lead guitar - also desired by men and women alike but he’s more quiet and reserved - but he playes with heart and soul and i’m getting thomas from måneskin vibes - he’s the mysterious one
james: he’s the drummer because he’s got the muscle for it - also desired by men and women alike obviously but he’s only got eyes for one - litteraly puts his heart and sole into hitting those drums and breaks so many goddamned sticks it’s a wonder how he doesn’t run out - he’s the odd one out too, he’s a little rat if fucking sunshine and everyone finds him adorable
lily: she’s on bass and it’s major vic from måneskin vibes - everyone wants her but she just looks at the ladies - she’s also very close with remus and all the super hetero followers believe they’re doing it but they most certainly are not - she looks like the craziest one of all of them but in reality she has the clearest head.
i’m picturing they’re a metal band too, and they also drabble in punk rock and similar genres. they always match outfits and involve the crowd in the coolest ways. sirius’s idol is freddie, so he pays ode to him most concerts. remus extremely admires bowie so they have a bunch of covers of his songs and sometimes come out with red and blue lighting incoperated into their fits.
there is major tension between sirius and remus on stage. often remus does backup vocals so they’ll lean into the same microphone and be so close there’s no hetero explanation for it (like the arctic monkeys video- you know the one), and when remus is soloing and sirius is doing rhythm during the instrumental, remus will be like pushing against his guitar with his pelvis and sirius will walk up and do the same and it’s just so gay.
lily will get down in the crowd, crowd surf and run around the stage like she’s on crack and the audience loves it. shell also get up in all of their spaces, she’ll come play behind james, bump hips with sirius, and play back to back with remus - but she goes to remus the most. she also has a tendency to smash her guitars every so often at the end of a show (but don’t worry, it’s only if they’re already damaged from excessive use and being tossed around by roadies and shit).
james, oh sweet james. he always has a big smile and wave for the crowd and will stand up at his kit sometimes - he’ll play into the hot muscle man thing he has going and will skull water and let it drip down his front and he’ll wink at the crowd (but only the band knows he’s doing it in an attempt to impress and fluster regulus who is either side stage or watching live at home) (it works every time). he also goes a little crazy and gets too much inspiration from tommy lee.
and yes, after a big show in vagas, they all woke up with wedding rings on their fingers and they have no idea who married who.
AHHH i have so many wips but i wanna write it so baddddddddd!
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